#what else can i say about these past 3.5 years?

[neeeooon]

ohh when they find out they have a child, could you mayhaps do an alternate ending where things work out (sae, rin and shidou preferably) its ok if you dont as well ^^ have a good day/night

all three have continuations here, but i’m interested to see so YEAH (this takes place after the continuation pt)

when you end up together (when they find out they have a kid pt 3.5)

ex-husband!bllk x fem!reader. fluff (finally), cursing, all three kids have names. probably the last part in this series(?) ik u guys are sick of me 😭🙏

itoshi sae

-> as promised, sae returned when he was next available and kept coming back after that. your son, taro, would stand by the door with his face and hands pressed against the window whenever you got the “omw” text from sae

-> it took you and sae a long time to get the process down. at first, you’d even discussed going to court to get a custody agreement legally written to make it easier to handle, but your friends and family convinced you that that would only harm your son

-> eventually, sae made your house his permanent home for whenever he wasn’t traveling for work. it wasn’t often that he was there, but the more he returned, the brighter his expression became, especially when your son would beg to be held and play with monster trucks

-> after four years, you finally confessed to sae that you wanted to be a family again. “i know i’m asking a lot, and i don’t want this to overwhelm you. you don’t have to say yes, but if you do, i need you to understand that this isn’t something you can change your mind on. taro calls you dad, he brags to his classmates about you all the time, and i want this situation to be as stable for him as possible.” “what are you asking?” “i want us to try again. i want you to stop walking on eggshells and consider that maybe i want you here, too.”

-> sae was quiet for a long time. “anything else?” “.. i want you to take taro to soccer practice, if you don’t mind.” you moved to stand, rejection weighing heavy in your stomach, when you felt sae’s hand wrap around your wrist. “i thought you wanted me to stay away.” “that was before. you’re different now.” “i am.”

-> on taro’s tenth birthday, after he runs off to play with the soccer ball signed by germany’s isagi yoichi, you pop a thinly wrapped box in your husband’s hands. “what’s this?” sae asked, brows creased gently in his confusion. you nudged his shoulder. “open it and see.”

-> his expression didn’t change, but you watched as his eyes began to shimmer. “y’know, taro’s been begging me for a brother or sister since i met him,” sae said with a small chuckle, and you threw your arms around him. “are you happy? this will be your first time…” “i’m happy. we don’t have to talk about the past anymore. does taro know yet?”

-> “does taro know what?” your son asked, and you and sae jumped apart. the space revealed the sonogram in your husband’s hand, and when taro saw it, his face lit up. “no freaking way! i’m gonna be a brother?!”

-> you laughed and sae ruffled his hair. “excited?” “this is the best birthday present ever!”

itoshi rin

-> you kicked off your heels, ankles swollen from walking around the office all day. “i’m home!”

-> immediately, two high-pitched voices barreled toward you, and you let out a laugh when your two daughters rounded the corner. “my girls!” you cried dramatically, matching their over-the-top greeting, and knelt down just in time to catch them before they could knock you over. “where’s your dad?”

-> “he’s making dinner!” your youngest, haruka, shouted into your ear before raising her hands over her head and jumping at you. “uppie! up, up!”

-> emiko shot her a look so scandalized that you laughed when it reminded you exactly of her father. “no, i want uppie! it’s my turn!” “you’re almost eleven, you don’t need uppie!” “mama!”

-> thankfully, your husband decided it was time to intervene and stepped into the doorway, where you were about to be pulled apart by your girls. rin grinned down at you warmly, and you felt the comforting heat of his smile everywhere. “welcome home, love,” he greeted as he swooped emi off her feet

-> now partially free, you were able to stand enough to grab haru and tuck her into your side. “how was today?” you asked back after giving rin a quick kiss, rolling your eyes when your daughters gagged. “decent. dinner is ready.”

-> the word “dinner” sent the girls into a frenzy, and they wiggled out of your grips before sprinting into the kitchen. “set the table, please!” you called after them, rolling your eyes a second time when you heard emi telling haru to set it on her own since emi helped rin bring groceries in

-> suddenly more exhausted then you’d been all day, you step forward and lean against your husband, who dutifully wraps his arms around your waist to steady you. “long day?” he asks with a small chuckle before rubbing comforting circles into your hip. you hum, “i’m ready to retire.”

-> “mama! daddy! stop kissing and come eat!” “yeah, stop kissing!” emi and haru giggle from the kitchen. rin gives you one last squeeze before helping you straighten and tugging you toward the kitchen. “i made your favorite.” “you must love me a lot,” you giggle, and he takes your hand to kiss the back of it. “i do.”

shidou ryusei

-> “sachi!” shidou cheered once your daughter’s ballet recital ended. she beamed at him from the stage, jumping and waving as her pink tutu bounced around her. “hi, daddy! did you see me?!” “you were great, sweetheart!”

-> you laughed and covered your face with your hand as people side-eyed your husband, who was blocking all the rows behind him by standing. “mommy? what’s daddy doing?” your two-year-old son, riichi, said with much more attitude than a two-year-old should have

-> “he’s supporting your sister!” you replied. since you knew there was no use in trying to stop him, you carefully pushed yourself to your feet, very aware of how pregnant you were. “yay, sachi!” you cheered before encouraging riichi to do the same

-> shidou wrapped a steady arm around the back of your waist to help relieve some of the pressure, and you flashed a silent smile of thanks before going back to cheering for your daughter

-> “and then, and then i flew!” sachi was retelling the story of how she jumped higher than she meant to in the play, but she didn’t seem worried for standing out in the slightest. “my teacher said ‘good job, sachi!’ and gave me this cat cake pop!” when riichi grumbled something about cats being his favorite, his sister didn’t hesitate to hand it over to him. “everyone else ate theirs, but i saved mine for you, riirii!”

-> and then riichi cried, which made sachi cry, which meant shidou had to carry them both home as you patted their hair and tried to comfort them while also praising them for being such thoughtful kids

-> it didn’t take long after tucking the tired kidos into bed for them to sleep, but shidou still read them a story anyway. he liked to improvise and add silly voices that made your kids crack up, but tonight he kept it simple and quietly kissed them both when he was sure they were out

-> shidou placed a hand on your swollen stomach when he finally washed up and joined you in bed. “how’s little tsuki?” he asked, and you immediately felt the baby kick against his hand. both your eyes widened, and you laughed when shidou covered your stomach with kisses. “sorry, y/n love. i’m gonna be the favorite.” “no fair. i need at least one shidou to like me best.”

-> your breath hitched when he looked up at you. “we could always try for more~” to which you quietly slapped his arm. “don’t worry. riichi said if i give him an extra candy in his bento tomorrow, i’ll be his favorite.” “that traitor!”

[vyl3tpwny]

genuine question: why is genesis so low on ur topsters?

also, if you can: could i hear why hawaii: part ii is rated 3.5 on ur rateyourmusic? (as opposed to like. anything higher)

(p. s. your music inspires me to be the sincerest version of myself, and for that i thank you. the impact you've had on my life is unforgettable.)

genesis isn't rated low. my number one album of all time is genesis' "the lamb lies down on broadway", for about 16 years running. my topster is organized by relative colour, it's not perfect but it just looks nice!

—

when it comes to talking about music, what i like and like about it, almost 100% of the time i NEVER want to discourage people, talk down to artists, or claim my opinion as fact. the only time i will actively talk down about art is if it's purposefully harmful (see artists like: Tom Macdonald, etc).

with that said, music by miracle musical - and by extension tally hall - often does this thing where there are a handful of really impressive, well written songs that just blow me away. but then the rest of the album outside of those handful of songs are either just ok/catchy or don't interest me very much. the tally hall gang's highs are very high, and equally their lows are just sort of pace-killers for the albums.

it's dynamics like these that prevent me from liking some of my other albums for similar problems! i think albums like queen of misfits and glitter are bogged down by an absurd amount of boring filler that could have just been left out or reworked to be more interesting, it makes it hard to ever listen to those albums front to back. ironically i don't feel that way about fairytails, my 40-song long ass album, almost everything in it still feels rather purposeful to me. i listen to my own music a lot, and once i've finished a project i tend to try and listen to it and enjoy it from an audience perspective rather than an artist one.

while i'm on the topic, i don't necessarily agree with even rating hawaii pt. ii 3.5 because in the past few years i've completely lost interest in the idea of weighing albums by arbitrary scores. nowadays i like to just give 4-5's to albums i like and then ignore anything else. it doesn't really make sense to me to assign a number score to something with good faith, other than to show that score to other people. interfacing with art is not a black and white process. despite the so-called 3.5/5.0 score i gave hawaii pt. ii whenever that was, the reality is that record has influenced me and i've enjoyed it. honestly that's what matters the most. we can sit here and talk album dynamics, technicalities, compositional proficiency, lyric profundity, and """""consistency"""""" (which is a word music critics love to throw around without actually realizing what the fuck they're talking about) all day, but what matters the most is:

Did you like the music? (Yes/No)

Did it inspire you in some way? (Yes/No) [Optional]

Does it seek to do harm? (Yes/No)

Do you respect the efforts and goals of the artist? (Yes/No) [Should always be the inverse of Question 3; i.e; if you answer No to 3, then you should answer Yes to 4]

honestly if you answer yes, yes, no, yes, then it's a good album. i really don't care. not every piece of art has to push the envelope to new heights and be the most innovative thing in the world - i mean wouldn't that be extremely fatiguing and overwhelming? everyone wants to be a critic and tear down shit that doesn't click with them within the first viewing/listen these days, i don't know why, it's probably an ego thing, bred by the echo chambers in the corners of the internet. but a lot of music criticism can be COMPLETELY discarded in favour of "this just isn't for me", and a lot of people go leaps and bounds, doing mental gymnastics over internal compensations, to just avoid saying the dreaded phrase of "this just isn't for me".

trust me, i'm someone who has immense experience with tearing other people down to compensate for my internal insecurities, it happens extremely often which is why a lot of art criticism makes ZERO fucking sense. it's never about making meaningful commentary about anything, it's always just trying to justify in the format of a dissertation - the subjective experience of "this just isn't for me".

so. do i like hawaii pt. ii? yep. is it a perfect album? no. why did i rate it 3.5? probably because at the time i wanted someone somewhere to perceive me as Very Articulated and Well Educated In The Realm of Discussing Art In Front of Other People, in Order to Appear Superior in Intellect and Refined in Taste, Because I'm Insecure Just Like Everyone Else.

[readingwiththestars]

₊˚⊹♡ IF ONLY I HAD TOLD HER

["whatever our souls are made of hers and mine are the same"]

| ✮ 3.5 stars |

THOUGHTS ° ᡣ𐭩 . ° . [spoilers for ihhbwm + some spoliers for ioihth]

ok so lemme tell you i had the BIGGEST reading slump ever just as i started to read this. so this review may be a little choppy at some points because i've just pointblank forgotten some parts and don't wanna go back and re-read finny's pov just yet.

i was so on the fence about reading this because on one hand i really wanted to read finny's pov and on the other, complete and utter heartbreak.... yeah....... so anyway i read it.

when i tell you that this book had me ugly crying in the middle of the night. like seriously finny's pov?? fucking broke me. are you kidding me? the way he speaks about autumn? ugh when am i gonna find a guy like finny fr? but seriously this book had me on a rollercoaster of emotions just from the heartbreak knowing whats already gonna happen to finny as he describes how happy he is and how he can't believe autumn loves him back, to the smile i had on my face reading about 'the moms' bickering over baby stuff for autumn.

i will say this now i did expect a little more (hence the rating). i wanted idk more closure at the end there. idk rlly know how to describe it better since its 10 o'clock at night and ive had zero sleep for the past four nights in a row. but yeah i wanted something more. (bitch u wanted finny to be alive)

CHARACTERS ° ᡣ𐭩 . ° .

finny -

*sobbing noises* i could go on a damn rant abt this boy. holy shit. he's just perfect. if i see one person ONE PERSON coming after him istg- he was such a caring sweet person like the pencil??? and always going to the sketchy gas station (i nearly called it a servo then lmao) to get the candy autumn likes?? and always making sure people were safe when he drives?? *cough* apparently not you though sylvie *cough* just ahhh laura when i get you. cause like why'd you have to make him get out of the car, hmmm? lets just compromise and you give me an alternate universe where finny misses the puddle or better yet where sylvie kept her damn seatbelt on.

jack -

tbh i wasn't all that excited to read about jack. (also to be fair i was still sobbing from finny's pov so that probably didn't help) like i seriously just thought it'd be some jock trying to process finny's death by hooking up with alexis (who by the way can go jump up her own ass and die) but we got the whole other side of him where he was genuinely affected by finny's death and really was his best friend. but the way he didn't like autumn way just- yeah. also i saw him and sylvie coming from a mile away like seriously it wasn't very subtle.

autumn -

*sobbing noises increase* autumn my baby girl. i just wanted to jump through the pages and give her a hug. seriously i feel robbed that we didn't get to see a happy autumn. angie and her's friend ship was so precious tho. and i love love LOVE that they bonded over being moms/soon-to-be-moms. im also just gonna say the way we didn't see an ounce of jamie or sasha this entire book made me so happy! i also lowkey wanted to see more of when she was an actual mom? like what would she name the baby? i wanted to see domestic autumn a little more. but i still love her so much and it was so lovely to see her heal <3

QUOTES ° ᡣ𐭩 . ° . [spoilers]

"my love for her is the closest thing i have to religion. but it's okay that she doesn't feel the same. i'm fine. i can handle it" - finny

"my devotion to autumn is engraved on my very being. i am in awe of her. i will sit in the stands and cheer her on in life as her most ardent admirer. i know i'll always love her in the same way i know i'll always need oxygen" - finny

"it's all done. finn's story is over. his whole life. that was it. not even nineteen years, and he'll never, ever do anything else ever again. finn won't go off to college or celebrate his birthday. he won't get another hair cut or get the oiled changed in his car. he won't bite a hangnail on his thumb or buy another CD. finn smith has done everything he will ever do. he won't get to be with autumn." - jack

“this baby isn't what's left over from our love story. this baby is our story's continuation.” - autumn

"if only i'd told her that i loved her years ago, i wouldn't be here now." - finny

all in all laura you can pay for my therapy mkay?

[flowersforthemachines]

2, 8, 13 and 24 ((((:

Hi Jess 💗💐

personal asks

2. when’s the last time you went on a date

I *think* that would've been about a year and a half ago when I went out with a girl I met on Tinder. I don't remember everything we did, but I definitely did her a tarot reading in a café, and then we went to a bar and just talked about things :)

We haven't worked out in the end, and I haven't tried looking for anyone else since then.

8. who was your first kiss?

I'm not even sure where I'd begin to explain how much of a mess it was. BUT. It happened when I was 17, and at that point I was still thinking I'm exclusively into women and don't like men at all. This is important!

The guy originally had a crush on my best friend, but she was in love with another dude. Then, he got over her, but she fell for him instead but also started dating another guy. Then they sort of got over each other, but also didn't. All while I was in their collective orbit (and also had a crush on my best friend. gods) and eventually developed a standalone friendship with that guy bc at some point my best friend developed commitments that kept her away from me and him.

So, I was meeting that guy for his birthday, and we were out on a walk in the evening [that was already after he and my best friend got over each other, and she was going out with another dude]. Then, he asked to kiss me [out of the blue. I have no idea what prompted that, we've never flirted before, and he must've known I'm into girls, and my bestie specifically]. I agreed not because I really wanted, but I guess I was just really used to saying "Yes" when people asked me things.

And I felt nothing while he kissed me. I told him to stop, and he did. Then I remembered that he was extremely popular with women (for real. he was both very popular & had a lot of experience), which made me think that he had to be good at kissing. And since I didn't like it, I absolutely have to be a lesbian after all. Cue 2 more years of bisexual confusion.

13. if you had to choose one POSITIVE word to describe yourself, what would it be?

I'm funny :) I like joking around. And my jokes have received compliments from all 3.5 of my current IRL friends (and past friends as well). That's one truth about myself I'm always going to believe.

24. Do you believe in any conspiracy theories?

Probably the only thing I can think of is the idea that things nowadays are no longer made to be as durable as they used to be to encourage people to replace their stuff more often. But other than that, no, not really.

[mentallyisekaid]

「 ✦ Fatui Harbingers x La Signora's Sister! Reader, PART 2.5 ✦ 」

---

Part 1 Part 2 [Part 2.5] Part 3 Part 3.5

It's highly recommended to read the parts in order, otherwise few things will make sense!

Warnings: just me messing with Signora's lore because I can~

Word count: 1.3k

---

And so, with Columbina serenely laying on your lap - and Scaramouche and Ajax's intimate gazes dispelling a part of those doubts that had haunted you for half a millenium...

a glimpse of your past was finally unveiled.

"Rosalyne and I were only half-sisters, and it sprouted a seed of discord between us before I was even old enough to understand what family meant. Albeit, what really drew us apart in the end was my father... or rather, the crime that he committed against the divine."

Twiddling with the warm, red crystal in your hands brought you no comfort - only reminded of a life time's worth of regret.

"A crime that manifested as the Pyro Vision I'm now holding. You could say it's... a symbolization of the Lohefalters' curse. But I was the one who made it possible, and what followed..."

You shook your head. "Well, I'll start from the beginning?"

"Our mother, Freya, a Mondstadter, once met a traveling alchemist from an unknown land. Papa and mama shamelessly fell in love, even though she was married with another man and had a young daughter. After she became pregnant with me, an illegitimate child, Rosalyne's father soon found out and they got divorced. She then married my father, and we all took his surname."

The looks in their eyes revealed that La Signora's colleagues had truly known nothing about her past.

But now, all they cared about was yours.

"Papa was quite fanatic when it came to his alchemic research, and one thing fascinated him above all else: the nature of Visions. He'd become particularly obsessed with a certain thought... could Visions be created alchemically and thus acquired without the blessing of the gods?"

A pained look flashed across Scaramouche's face - maybe one day he'd share why.

"Seeing as he was an outlander, the favor of the divine would never fall upon him in such a way. Maddened, he set out on a journey to achieve a Vision, not as a gift from the gods, but by making one himself."

Columbina tilted her head. "And... did he?"

"It sounds crazy," you sighed, "but he did. He managed to create an artificial Vision. It cost him his sanity and so much more, but regardless; decades of endless research and a myriad of sacrifices materialized in the form of a gemstone - a bright red crystal with a faintly glowing Pyro symbol in its core."

Your next words gained a spiteful undertone, not unnoticed by the others.

"But, he needed a test subject to confirm that this counterfeit Vision was applicable. That was me. Not just because he was insane, but because I was a fool. I only had to promise that I'd never tell the rest of my family, or anyone, about how I had received this 'acknowledgement' from 'Celestia'."

Ajax had an unreadable expression on his face - pity with a hint of disappointment and anger, perhaps.

"You agreed, then?" he asked.

"I was nine years old and rather naïve, so yes." You frowned. "But even as I grew older and understood better, on some level, I still accepted what papa had done..."

Scaramouche crossed his arms.

"But, surely... you didn't do this just to please your parent?"

"No," you shook your head, "or maybe that was a part of it as well. I couldn't say."

Yet someone saw right through you, as always.

"It had something to do with your sister, I presume?" Columbina's voice was gentle, like a mother

Ah, there it was - the void in your heart left behind by a broken kinship with the only sibling you ever had.

It was... more painful than you admitted.

"...I knew my Vision was a fake, but even so, it made me feel special. I'd always felt meritless, living my life in the shadow of the oh-so brilliant Rosalyne, who was both beautiful and academically talented. I... I was never looked at with such admiration."

"Although," your lips curved into a rueful smile, "ever since that day, I had something that she didn't - a Vision - and it harrowed her proud heart. Thus, a mutual feeling of jealousy grew between us, creating a rift that we never tried to overcome."

You shook your head. "At least I never did."

But a question still remained in the air, one that you were consciously avoiding for the sake of the horrible things that had once happened and could yet again occur because of it.

You didn't want to betray or hurt anyone, and even more than that, you wanted to protect yourself.

Yet the other Harbingers cared about you in such a strong, unconditional way, and you had started to harbor these strangely intimate feelings for them as well.

Perhaps you... really didn't need to hide anymore?

Columbina had sat up next you and now pulled you to lay on her lap instead, as she softly spoke:

"This Pyro Vision... you called it a curse - the Lohefalters' curse, or perhaps yours, but what makes you say this, I wonder? Was the cost you had to pay for this power much greater than you have let on, my angel?"

Scaramouche was staring at you intently. "I think we'd all like to know that."

You averted your gaze. "Even if it only gets darker?"

Ajax smiled, uncertain yet encouraging. "Even so."

"I... see. Well, if I had known that my broken relationship with Rosalyne wasn't even a foretaste of this horrible curse that I would end up carrying for centuries... that what papa had done would end up destroying things far, far more precious than just my family, I... I would have done differently, I'm sure of it..."

You sighed. "It's too late for amends, though. And this is all I have to say. For now."

No one was left satisfied by this, not even you yourself.

Their first instinct was to somehow confirm whether you had been telling the truth, having sensed that you were probably quite an adept liar (when you wanted to be).

But your reserved yet sincere eyes didn't invite any distrust.

Childe looked sympathetic, though there was a nuance of something else behind his cerulean gaze. When he smiled at you, the mannerism lacked his usual assertiveness.

"I... see. I'm... at a loss for words here, girlie."

The thought of you carrying these grim secrets all by yourself made the ginger Harbinger feel strangely protective of you, and he wasn't the only one - albeit the other two did a better job at hiding it.

Damselette's expression was curious yet enigmatic, indicating that she'd perhaps already figured out much more than you had told them.

Behind her innocent, uncaring demeanor, Columbina was a very shrewd person.

"Our little angel never ceases to fascinate~," she chuckled, caressing your hair.

The Balladeer's displeasure was evident.

"Ha!" he scoffed. "You've got some nerve, disclosing something of this gravity and then conveniently deciding to leave the rest of our questions unanswered. Moreover, with each secret you reveal, another one just takes its place."

Scaramouche's tone now took a softer hint - then again, maybe you just imagined it.

"Who am I to judge, of course... but isn't centuries of hiding enough, Twelfth?"

Though his opinion was harsh and undisguised, it had voiced the truth you wanted so hard to admit, but just couldn't. You found this... soothing, in a way.

As flames flickered in the fireplace, your heart wanted to stay here with them for a little while longer - each of their gazes embracing you very differently but all in a way that made you feel warm and safe; something quite rare in Snezhnaya.

Yet, with a cryptic smile, you stood up and walked away.

Whether sharing a part of your past had been a mistake, or the first step toward some kind of redemption, you couldn't yet tell. But it was clear that it had set into motion something irreversible.

It was only a matter of time before everyone would know...

[ratherembarrassing]

2025: weeks 1 + 2

starting the year off as we ended the last one: well behind on every measure!

right off the bat: the wee hours of new year's day. henny and fairy floss and chappell roan playing quietly in the background. a perfect start.

first brunch of the year: my kingdom for a horse (whitemore square, adelaide). it's gonna be the year of the waffle.

unicorn slime: the gift for a seven year old.

eight? hours in a steamy car: the fires in the grampians were forecast to kick off again, so my very brief jaunt to adelaide was over. it was hot. my stomach was angry. there was nothing but errands waiting for me. i think the eight hour drive ended up taking nine and a half.

purchases that will change your life: a new kitchen knife. the dulling of a knife is like slow boiling a frog, or whatever the saying is, but there are few things as satisfying in life as a perfectly halved sandwich.

nicole kidman, save me from the sun: i have been in the market for a rashie since about 2014, but the point is that despite being absolutely paranoid about getting sunburnt, last summer i got roasted in a 3" strip across my back and i have conceded defeat by my shoulders' inability to reach that far. anyway, there is a rashie version of nicole kidman's swimmers, and now i own it and it's great.

not that i needed it: first beach of the year was hot and entirely cloudy, which is perfect beach weather as far as i'm concerned. melbourne beaches can barely be called such a thing, but they are great for floating in the water while you have a gasbag with your pals before stuffing your faces with fish and chips.

songs i shazamed (mostly) in the car: this is an annual tradition at this point, but it's literally the reason i bought an apple watch a few years ago and i haven't shared it in a few years.

oh yeah, also tv: squid game (season 1, netflix). the next item will explain why, but i did finally watch the first season a couple of days after the second season dropped. surprised by how uninteresting i found it, which maybe tells on me more than on itself.

the blood is a metaphor: maccas was running an australian-only grown up happy meal to promo squid game season 2, which included a dalgona candy that got you a ticket in the draw for either a tracksuit or $10,000. there were four shapes, and only the golden arches were for the cash. after a couple of other shapes, one of which i got out successfully, i finally got a big M in my tin. and i was prepared. i had watched s1 now. i knew what to do: i was going to lick that sucker free. within five minutes and nowhere near to releasing the shape, my tongue was bleeding. did i stop? no. did i get the shape free? yes, but it broke. i carefully shoved the pieces back together so i could trick the scanned. it worked! "congrats, enter your details below." below: this competition is now over. motherfucker.

get that one in ya: is what i would have named the place, but fluffy torpedo is also a name for a weird flavour ice cream joint. buttermilk pancakes and maple syrup flavour was exactly as described, buttered baguette was... something else, though i couldn't say what.

also, uh: let (2024, dir. alyssa loh) sonoya mizuno in the short film version of that slightly off-putting bdsm fic that exists for every single ship.

cinema!: the brutalist (2024, dir. brady corbet). every year i manage to see the best movie of the past year right out the door of the new year. the length is daunting, but the intermission entirely mitigates it. i reviewed it on letterboxd like a wanker.

sportsball, as always: i hustled my ass out of the 3.5 hour movie to get down to some ill-planned impulse purchased tickets to day one of the ao to see my girl sabalenka have a stressful one. as circumstances have eventuated, i'm now very glad i went when i did.

[gayofthefae]

Will saying "remember, you're the heart" right before Mike says I love you is wild because like- if she heard that, the best case scenario is it paints her a full picture of the fact that he and Will solved this issue together.

He said earlier that he had been thinking about it the past few days, but that is omitting a key detail: Will. The problem there isn't their conversation, it isn't the reference, it isn't anything revealing, really, but the fact that Will is involved in this for him. Even if it is genuine and even without the painting, the fact remains that Will resolved Mike's insecurities for him to tell her he loved her and it WORKED.

The word "remember" on its own might be more hurtful than "you're the heart", honestly. "Remember what we talked about". Even just any encouragement at all, a "you got this", tells us that he didn't contemplate this alone like she thought. Honestly, at that point, there's a part of me that's hoping you still can't say it. Because one way or another, you needed him for this. One way or another, I couldn't do it when I begged but after a couple days with him, you're good as new.

[That tiktok sound but instead of "3.5 years" and "white man", it's "I waited for eight months, gay man did it in one week. I waited for eight months, gay man did it in one week. I said I waited for EIGHT MONTHS. The gay man did it in one week.]

Even if everything is true, he couldn't figure it out without Will. And that hurts. If I'm her and I'm thinking through all this, I'm thinking "so that worked? He's what did it? You're so confused and too scared to talk to me about it for 8 months, you avoid the word "love" like the plague and can't tell me why, you lied about being able to during the conversation, but one week alone with him and you've reflected on your actions, felt remorse, and can apologize in bullet points and say "I love you" freely eight times, all of a sudden." I'd also be thinking, though, that he might not know. Give him the benefit of the doubt. I'm mad at him but I forgive him - because he might not know he's lying.

I just rewatched the scene and I think this fits. My break down of each of her reaction shots below the cut (but I encourage you to watch with it in mind yourself if you don't want my analysis to influence you too much first):

This is her when he first starts talking

This is her after hearing Will. She knows what's about to happen. She knows what he's about to say and part of her is hoping he doesn't because of what that would mean for his relationship with Will.

This is her right after he first says it.

This is her as he continues into a more in depth apology, showing the amount of progress he's been able to make so rapidly the past few days. From this angle, she look she's recoiling and I've said before that it almost looks like it's shot from the POV of the vines shackling her.

He says he can't live without her and she seems to look up again and listen more actively than she was but she also looks in thought and then squeezes her eyes shut again. This situation is oh so complicated.

"It was so big it almost swallowed you whole." This is such a Mike joke to make. And there's something comforting about that delivery. She makes the third face above as he's saying his life started the day they met, but she laughs when he makes the joke. Because that phrasing is the most earnest thing in this speech. Everything else, however true to him, is tied to Will. But she loves him. And it was so very him to say it that way.

But she immediately falls to this next face. Because it was the most earnest thing he's said, and though she's relieved to feel him in this speech, it still isn't for her. And the fact that it's the most earnest thing is also a bad thing. She knows he's going right back to how he was talking before.

He says he's loved her every day with or without her powers and she recoils and squeezes her eyes shut again.

"You're my superhero". She hardens - whether it's anger or determination/choosing to harness this as her motive, I fluctuate. But she hardens.

He says he can't lose her. And that feels like another complicated, harder to read moment. But she does soften back to more expressive like she was before, even if what she's expressing is pain. I think she believes him. Her feelings around the context are more hard for me to read on each watch of the end of this, though.

And I think Max is what finally gave her the most actionable motivation, because this is her the second before she notices Max again. She does not look determined, or even angry, just sad like she's looked this whole time. This does not read to me as the face of a girl about to take action like we see in a moment.

And all of this is also consistent to me with why she wouldn't talk to him much in those two days or address but still rest her head on his shoulder in the hospital. She still loves him. And this hurts, but it isn't his fault.

And finally, to go back for a comparison shot:

This is her when she thinks he's about to say it because he worked it out alone versus when she thinks he's about to say it, knowing that would mean it's because of Will. And that's everything I need to know. Whatever she's feeling the first time, hopeful or apprehensive, it isn't what she's feeling the second. She perked up the first time. She resigned and deadened the second.

[ladyintree]

when she sees nat, she has every intention of blaming her for the time wasted on the detour, but the truth is, she likes checking up on her, making sure she's okay. it's the very reason she wastes no time opening the door to her home after she knocks, prepared to lecture her about whatever she's doing or not doing now, but she's immediately caught off guard when she's met with someone else walking back towards her. ❝  oh, fuck! ❞ she gasps, one hand dropping nat's jacket from her hand, the other moving over her heart as it races from the shock. when she finally processes who it is, her entire body freezes, brows furrowing as she's met with her teenage crush for the first time in years. ❝  mikayla, ❞ she says softly, lacking the over-the-top bitterness she used to decorated the name with. maybe considering their last conversation, she should be annoyed by seeing her, but she had 19 months to overanalyze her words, 19 months and 3.5 more years to long to hear her voice again, and the last few months wondering if this moment might ever happen.

it quickly dawns on her that she needs to collect herself, and she straightens her posture, forcing herself to act casual about this, the same way she wishes people would when they see her, but now she understands why it's so hard to avoid bringing their pasts up as she blurts out her next words. ❝  i — heard what happened, ❞ she mumbles, immediately regretful of her own words, because everyone's heard, obviously, so she quickly goes on, avoiding any empty apologizes that she herself has heard a thousand times from people saying the same things to her. ❝ it's good to see you out. ❞ selfishly, her eyes start to wander as she finally looks her over, taking her in in ways that she never allowed herself to do when they were teenagers, because it never felt like something that was allowed. she immediately feels the same rush of adrenaline she used to feel back then whenever mikayla came near, and she freezes for a moment before that feeling starts to feel alarming, and she quickly looks back up to her eyes, forcing herself to go on on.

❝  it's good to see you at all, ❞ she corrects, despite how clear her memory is of the last day she saw her, how she told her she couldn't wait to never see her again, and how that was almost more true than she would have ever wished for, both of them nearly dying shortly after. she winces, regretful of the memory, wondering if she's supposed to apologize for that now or pretend it never happened, because maybe mikayla doesn't remember that at all, maybe they can just pretend like they didn't hate each other years ago. it feels ridiculous now anyway, considering everything, and given the kinds of relationships she formed out there, it's not lost on her that if mikayla was there with her, they might've been closer, too.

she takes a deep breath to collect herself. ❝  okay, well, i'm sorry for barging in. i assumed nat was home, but... ❞ a small smile starts to form on her lips as she nods back to @manslaught. ❝  i'm not disappointed, ❞ she admits, a flirty tone to her words that's come natural these last few years, more confident than it would have been back then.

[wowzah2nd]

The Lioness and her Serpent lover: A forbidden love story (Draco Malfoy x reader)

Concealed emotions p2

part 1, part 2, part 3, part 3.5

word count:2.4k

Within Hogwarts many secretes and mysteries were held some solved and discovered. The castle may hold many secretes but within those wall were student holding their very own secrets. Y/N potter being one of them holding a secret that would shock not only her brother and friends but the whole school it self. What is that secret you may ask well. She was dating non-other the Slytherin prince Draco Malfoy

As me and draco made our way towards the class I noticed other students heading that way as well but as they were walking past I heard a conversation about Sirius black. They must have talked about it after we left.

As we made it to the door of the class room I noticed Harry and the other waiting by the door. The classroom was clearly open but I guess he was waiting for me. As soon as he noticed me he made his way to try and talk to me 

Harry: I am so sorry you felt neglected for the past three years y/n i really had no idea i also wanna apologise for making everything about myself and never thinking of you 

I looked at him surprised that he apologised so fast. I thought he would have sulked or felt too proud to apologise but maybe I was wrong. I decided to give him a hug to show him i forgave him

Y/N: thank you for apologising harry that really mean a lot to me 

Harry then looked at me happily and excited 

Harry: does that mean we can go back to normal again 

Y/N: yes harry we can 

I was excited to go back to normal until he had to say something so stupid that i was lost for words 

Harry: does that mean you'll stop being friends with draco cause ill-

I cut him off immediately 

Y/N: Are you seriously asking me that question right now? NO i won't stop being friends with him he has literally done so much for me and to just drop him like that is so unthinkable. You asking me this is so unthinkable 

Harry: B-but I thought you were only friends with him because you needed attention. I'm trying to say that I'll pay better attention to you so your really don’t need him. 

I scoffed i cant believe that he somehow turned my problems back on to him how typical of the chosen one 

Y/N: I didn't become friends with him because of that. I became friends with him because he was a genuinely kind and caring person. I'm friends with him because he knows how to trat me as a human being. I'm friends with him because he is genuine unlike you who only come to spend time with me if you need something or if i'm being nice to draco

I took a long deep breathe before continuing 

Y/N: you know what harry i take back what i said i don't forgive and i don't think i will for a while not until you understand that i'm friends with draco cause i want to and not cause i needed attention or to get back at you 

I grab draco hand and head into class

Y/N: let go draco i don't wanna hear anything else he has to say 

Just as we entered the class had began and we decided to stay at the back with the slytherins they looked  at me and draco confused as to why we were together

Pansey: what are you doing here potter shouldn’t you be with , the mudblood, the povo and your ugly twin brother 

I was about to lunge at her when draco grab my shoulders i looked at him and was about to ask why he stopped me but then he answered 

Draco: PANSEY!! Shut up and don't say shit like that again especially around her

Pansey: B-but draco why do you even care huh, we say stuff like this all that time

Draco: Cause shes my friends and she'll be hanging out with us for awhile soi if i hear that shit again you’ll be sorry 

She looked shocked but agreed. She’s always had a crush on draco but he was never interested in her not once at one point i was jealous at the amount of time she’d tried to touch him but lucky me he always pushed her off and he always reassured me that there was never anything there and it was all one sided 

After that interaction we look towards the front the the class to listen to Professor lupin he was the new defence against the dark arts teacher and honestly i've only heard good things about him, every year level love him and how he taught the class it made people actually pay attention 

Professor Lupin: intriguing isn’t it

Everyone stared at the moving cupboard scared at its erratic movements 

Professor Lupin: does anyone want to guess what's inside 

Dean: that a boggart isn’t it 

Professor Lupin: that correct Mr Thomas

The cupboard moved again cousin everyone to jolt due to the loud sounds it kept making 

Professor Lupin: now can anyone tell me what one looks like

Hermione: no one knows sir, boggarts are shapeshifters and take the shape of whatever the person fears most. That what makes them most-

I wondered when did she get her i could have sworn i would have saw her enter the class 

 Professor Lupin: terrifying yes yes yes, luckily there is a charm for that to repel the boggart and let practice it now 

Everyone was about to get there wands but were told to practise the charm without it first 

Professor Lupin: after me, Riddikulus 

Everyone else repeated what he said then the boggart shock again causing everyone to move back a bit

Professor Lupin: again please and a little bit louder 

Everyone: Riddikulus

I think draco knew i was still a bit upset at what harry said so he decided to pop a joke

Draco: This class is Ridiculous

At that i elbowed him in the side

Y/N: Draco shhhh 

He looked at me with a smile knowing he got me to stop thinking about harry for a bit 

The class went on as normal and professor Lupin decided to ask Neville to be the first one to demonstrate how the charm works. 

Which was a hilarious experience to see, when asked what he feared the most he had answered professor snape causing everyone to laugh and Professor to joke about how he frightened all. After that he was told to imagine professor snape in his grandmother's clothes.

Once Neville had done that professor Lupin released the boggart which then turned into professor snape which scared neville, Professor lupin reminded him to think then neville spoke the charm, the next thing we saw was professor snape in neville's grandmother's clothes.

After that Professor Lupin put on some music to lighten the mood a bit more and make the class more fun with everyone lining up to take turns. Some people in the class had normal fears such as spider, clowns but there were a few odd ones such as a duck. Once it was Harry turn everyone was waiting in anticipation thinking it would be voldemort but was mistaken once a dementor appeared 

Lupin then jumped in front of Harry causing the dementor to change into a moon, this puzzled you why would he fear the moon. But soon after class had been dismissed, He then asked everyone to collect their books before leaving.

As you were collecting your textbook with Draco and his group you decided to look back, you saw Harry staring at the cupboard, you wanted to talk to him and tell him not to worry too much but you were still very angry at him.

It was now the weekend and you were excited till you remembered your permission slip hadn’t been signed due to some arguments with uncle vernon. As you were sitting near the exit to the castle look at everyone who had their permissions signed head off, Draco saw you and was confused why you were going with everyone else

Draco: Hey y/n, why aren't you going off with everyone else 

Usually he would use his pet name for you but since you were out in public he probably opted out of using it 

Y/N: Cause i didn’t get my permission slip signed my brother and i kinda had a fight with our uncle so we never got him to sign it 

Draco: oh the sucks, is there anything i can do to help

As he finished his sentence his friends came by to see what was happening 

Crabe: hey draco what are you doing 

Goyale: Yeah what's taking so long 

Before Draco could speak i decided to speak for him

Y/N: Hey you should go dont worry about me ill figure something out 

Draco: are you sure i don’t have to go i can hang out with you in the castle 

You smiled at the kind gesture

Y/N: Draco it’s fine really go have fun 

Draco: okay if you say so ill see you around 

Draco wasn’t usually sweet in public with you but since the word had gone out that you were now friends he decided to act nicer. He’d always express his hate about having to act slightly mean to you but you always told him it was fine.

But ever since people found out you were now “friends” he's been much happier being able to be nice to you in public 

While everyone was at Hogwarts you decided to get some work done in the library. After a while it got pretty boring for you so you decided to take a walk. Somehow your walk caused you to end up at the bridge and there you saw professor Lupin by himself. For some reason he felt familiar to you 

Y/N: hello there professor

Lupin: Ah Miss potter, i just spoke with you brother not a bit ago 

That made you a bit tense hearing his name 

Lupin: I heard you two are having a bit of a tiff

Y/N: More than just a tiff, he thinks just because draco is friends with me that his using me to get to harry

You take a deep breath before speaking again 

Y/N: why doesn’t he just understand that draco really just wants to be my friend, and also that not everything is about him

Lupin laughed which ticked me off 

Lupin: you remind me so much of your mother you know, especially when she would complain about james bugging her, you two are quite alike 

Thinking of my mum made me very happy even though i never met her i always feel her in my heart watching over us

Y/N: did you know her 

Lupin: yes i knew her well she was a prefect just like me and we did patrols together, but you father would never shut up about her either. He was indeed smitten with your mother 

You then imagine what you family would have looked like if they were still alive, causing you to be a bit sad Lupin then decided to go back to talking about harry 

Lupin: Harry is just being protective, look at it this way the boy who has been bullying him and his friends suddenly wants to be friends with his sister. It does sound suspicious 

You quickly defend draco

Y/N: but it's not like that…his not like that,even thought he seems like a jerk at time hes really kind,sweet and caring once you get to know him 

Lupin then looked at me with a knowing smirk 

Lupin: maybe there more to things your not tell me 

Damn this smug Professor

Y/N: well everyone may be coming back soon so i'm gonna head off, thanks for the talk professor 

Lupin: Please call me Remus, but only when there's no one else around i still am your professor   

As you were walking back into the castle you noticed students were already back, so you decided to make your way back to the common room but noticed there were people gathered around the door.

You then see your brother and his friends then ginny running down the stair towards the group 

Ginny: Guy the fat lady is gone 

You were shocked where or what happened to her. YOu then decided to speaking you needed to know what happen 

Y/N: what happened ginny? Wheres the fat lady?

Before she could even answer me percy was already making way to get past the students allowing you to see the fat lady's portrait it was torn like a beast had scratched it 

Dumbledore and filche then came up the stairs to investigate and have a look at the scene, you and everyone else just stood there looking at what had happened.

Dumbledore: filche find the fat lady

Filche: i dont think we need to sir

He then points of a painting right up another set of stairs causing everyone and dumbledore to run over the questions her 

Dumbledore: Who did this to you?

Fat lady: eyes like the devil, here I say, the one everyone has been talking about. Sirius Black

This was a name you were familiar with when you saw his picture on the night bus in a newspaper the man was reading. You didn’t know much about him but only that he was a murderer. Every one was murmuring thing about him you couldn’t quite hear still in shock that a murderer could be on the school grounds. This was the safest place he could have gotten in.

Dumbldore: the rest of you to the great hall

Everyone headed to the great hall most likely staying safe in numbers, you then heard they were locking down the castle which scared you. Nothing like this happened before.

Once you all entered the great hall you were still mad at hair so you decided to sleep near draco as you were walking towards draco harry stopped you grabbing my arm.

Harry: where are you going?

Y/N: i'm going to sleep near draco 

Harry: you can't do that 

Y/N: why not? Hmm

Harry: cause his in slytherin 

Y/N: well watch me 

I then pull my arm out of this grip continuing my way towards draco 

Y/N: hey, is it okay if i sleep here, i'm still kinda mad at my brother 

A few of the Slytherins looked at you weird, some even gave me threatening glares especially pansy who was near her girlfriends you presumed.

Draco gave you a smile without a care if people thought it was weird then tapped a spot next to him. You then set up your sleeping back 

Y/N: thanks Draco

You gave a smile

Draco: no worries, what are friends for right?

At that comment you laughed which caused him to laugh too

Y/N: yeah what are friends for

[asolverssolution]

Chapter 3: 0 To 100

"You didn't tell me you was gonna wait here!" Uzi yelled, taking away my focus and making me lose my highest streak on Flappy Drone (2,311). I sigh and shut the game off to look at her. "I had nothing else to do!" I state, putting my arms up defensively. Uzi seems to not care and groan regardless. "We need to get moving anyway." She mutters, going to the keypad. I give her a deadpan expression. "Then what is the problem of me waiting here if it saves time?" I ask. Uzi doesn't answer and puts the master key up to the scanner, opening the giant metal doors. She walks without a word to the next one and reaches to do it again, but a voice makes us both freeze. "What are you two doing?" A Russian accent asks. Thank god for my audio translation software, I think to myself. I turn and see it is Doll, one of our classmates. "We are, uh-" Uzi begins, unsure of how to cover up her plan. I sigh and think as fast as I can.

"We're going to test the gun outside the gates to avoid another mishap." I explain. Doll looks me in the eyes for a moment, the red feeling like it's piercing my cyan. Her look softens for a moment before looking at Uzi with the same harsh glare. "Be careful. Last thing this District needs is to save you two." She states. I nod in response. "Be careful, Ava." She states, walking away. "Hey, I'm here too!" Uzi screeches, but Doll doesn't care and continues to walk away. "Oh, bite me!" She yells, Doll not reacting as she walks out of sight. Uzi groans and slams the master key against the scanner, opening up the second door. WDF Guardsmen are standing at attention, rifles slung against their shoulders. We both simply give them nods and walk out. It isn't uncommon for Drones to want to walk out every so often.

Uzi instantly begins to go left, which I follow. The snow is even worse then the last time I was out, with sheets of ice mixed in. I constantly have to move my fingers to avoid frost damage. After about half an hour of walking, we finally come across the Junkyard. There, thousands of bodies of slain Drones and inventions of war lay. The First Conflict only lasted a year, but caused enough damage to fill nearly 5 square kilometers with scrap. I look toward Uzi, who is already showing signs of nervousness. I sigh and lead the way into the heap. "What are we looking for?" I ask as we begin to look around. "A 7.8 millimeter jack." She answers. I nod and begin to help her dig. It felt like a long time before we got past the fresh bodies (we are not gonna question who or what did it) and to the machinery. I begin to pick apart old phones and tech, each jack only turning up 3.5 and 4.0 millimeters. I then hear Uzi yell, "Thank Robo-Jesus!"

I turn and see her begin to attach a 7.8 millimeter jack to a cord. After doing so, she plugs it into what seems to be a speaker. "We came out here- To have your gun have a speaker?" I ask, annoyed. "Technically! The reasoning is it overloads due to how much energy it builds up. The speaker reduces the energy, making it take longer, therefore more time to decide to fire or not! Plus- Beats during a fight is handy!" She rambles. As she continues to go into detail, I smile and stare. She is very dedicated to her invention, like anything she does, and it shows with each word. I realize she is staring at me and I snap back into reality. "What?" I ask, blinking confusedly. "I asked if you was okay." She states, eyeing me worriedly. "Oh, I'm fine, don't worry!" I reassure her, waving my hands frantically. She gives a small smile and nods- Which is interrupted by a giant thud. I unholster my pistol and aim towards the noise. Uzi slowly raises her railgun.

"Whose there!?" I call out, keeping an eye on the noise. Slowly, a Drone with a wide smile leans from around the debris and I freeze. "J..." I whisper. She begins to move out from the cover, two claw arms extended. "Uzi- Run." I say quietly. She looks at me, confused. "I said run!" I yelled, firing several rounds off toward J. As J slices them as I expected they would, Uzi runs past me, climbing up the debris. J quickly dashes toward me- Just for another Drone to land onto her. I hear her yell and toss the Drone off, who I recognize as N. Aside from clothing, those two have barely changed, I think to myself. I look back and see Uzi is still climbing, meaning I can't escape yet. J snaps their attention to me. "It has been awhile, Ava." J says sinisterly. I try to hold my composure. I don't know why I am shocked- If I remember her, she should remember me, my thoughts rationalize. "Yes it has." I state solemnly.

"Cyn has been so worried." J continues, stepping closer. N also stands, the X on his face letting me know he is not in control. Not like J. I aim at her while eyeing the both of them. "I'm sure she has." I retort. I need to keep my sentences short and sweet. "Of course she has. Why else would she be scouring the planet for you." J says with a purr. I look at her confused, feeling myself falter a bit. I hear a yelp and turn to see V holding onto Uzi, who looks terrified. "Whoa, let Uzi go!" I yell, unsure of who to aim at. "You come quietly, we drop her right here and now. I'll even be nice and not tell Cyn about her." J states.

Looks like I got a call to make- What's the right choice!?

[meikuree]

20 questions for fic writers

tagged by @chocochipbiscuit! thanks for the opportunity to ramble at length

tagging @acerinky @bothzangetsus @pretty-rage-machine @metamatar @leksaa90 @rose-gardens @liesmyth @themorikelife and anyone else who wants to join in! (template at the end)

answers below:

1. how many works do you have on ao3?

about 45, across my two accounts

2. what's your total ao3 word count?

~130,000 words across > 3.5 years

3. what fandoms do you write for?

used to be monofannish, but I began branching out after joining the multifandom exchanges scene (aka BFE).

4. what are your top five fics by kudos?

sidewalk reinventions [nimona (2023), gen]

the runaround [SNK, pieck/yelena]

blood to gold [SNK, pieck/hange]

more than a grain of sand [SNK, mikasa/annie]

small foreign faction [SNK, pieck/yelena]

a different picture emerges when I sort these by top fics from 5 different fandoms:

sidewalk reinventions [nimona (2023), gen]

the runaround [SNK, pieck/yelena]

the crimson cusp of evening [JJK, gojo/geto]

docile, unkind, fraught [the locked tomb, harrowhark/ianthe]

the sun coming out [squid game, jiyeong/saebyeok]

5. do you respond to comments?

in short: yes, but it can take months (or - I'm looking at years now) due to real life.

sometimes I prefer to 'reply' by reading and commenting on commenters' fic in turn since it's easier for me to gush about others' writing than my own; this is also a partly a matter of self-consciousness, because it (personally!) feels narcissistic for me to talk on about my own fic in comments.

6. what's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

plenty of fic I write is angsty, but I usually mix even total darkness with slants of hope or more often ambiguity. you rarely get a pure distillation of atmospheres or tones in my fic, by design or not. (I'm not super married to labels like 'angst' or fluff either because they’re convenient but can also be limiting and/or simplified boxing-in categories.) the fiercest calm or to walk along the edge probably takes the cake, however.

7. whats the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

the sun coming out.

8. do you get hate on fics?

no, luckily! i'm an unknown name but it also means I rarely attract unwanted attention.

9. do you write smut? if so, what kind?

for sure. if you know my side account (which isn't much of a secret), you'll know exactly what kind. I'm transparent and unashamed of my id and like to revel in it. let's just say I like power dynamics, complicated and unconventional queer relationships, and older women.

10. do you write crossovers? what's the craziest one you've written?

no :(

11. have you ever had a fic stolen?

not that I'm aware of!

12. have you ever had a fic translated?

yes, and it's always flattering. <3 both my pieck/hange fics got translated into chinese: 从鲜血到黄金(blood to gold) and 和缓的修复(the slow mending).

I've translated Chinese fic into english and knowing what the translation process is like from the opposite direction, I'd consider my fic a translator's nightmare, so I'm grateful if anyone makes the attempt. I’ve read the translations and been amazed by the artistry, the linguistic agility in them. the translator was really skilled at carried across the nuances of the original text and adapted to differences in linguistic norms.

this might be cringe, but to quote an example (from the slow mending):

the original:

A fully uncharted ground. There’s no script for this, for a reconciliation between an erstwhile commander and a Warrior. But a meaningfulness to it all the same, perhaps: that here, at the world’s end, the ruins of everything they know, they can still reinvent themselves, and what they mean to each other—not as a clean slate, not as a forgettance of the past, but a desire to make something new of its wreckage.

[…]

Out upon the rudderless horizon, the sun is flaring like a wildfire, a thousand years’ worth of fury braided into its light. But they might survive this, after all: Hange feels hopeful, for the first time in a while.

and the translations:

这是一片全新之地。关于帕拉迪亚的指挥官与马莱战士的和解，完全没有既定的剧本。但这一切也许都有意义：在这里，在世界的尽头，在一切的废墟上，他们仍然可以重塑自己，以及他们对彼此的意义——不是纯白的新地基，不是作为对过去的遗忘，而是在残骸中创造新事物的热切希望。

[…]

在漫无边际的地平线上，太阳像野火般地燃烧着，光线中编入了千年的愤怒。但她们也许都能活下来：这段时间以来的第一次，韩吉感到了希望。

13. have you ever co-written a fic before?

no, and I might be open to it if time and energy weren’t limiting factors.

14. whats your all-time favorite ship?

I'm a major multishipper and this is hard to answer. at the moment -- this is cheating because it's a gen relationship, not a ship -- zenin mai & zenin maki.

15. what's a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

perhaps my pieck/yelena cosmic horror WIP, and other SNK ones (ymir/historia, pieck/hange) -- I'm not attached much to SNK any more.

16. what are your writing strengths?

i've joked that 80% of comments of my fic will invariably include one of these words: gorgeous, poetic, beautiful. the runners-up are 'incisive' and 'sharp'. this sounds braggy; I'm always flattered, and I'm just listing these because I think those are the immediate data points at hand for my strengths.

17. what are your writing weaknesses?

dialogue, immediacy, and uh... this sounds glib, but tropey plots. plot in general. writing anything that cuts to the quick; my style tends to be somewhat repressed. writing long(ish) fic; my longest wordcount stands at 8.8k.

18. thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I've done this (for a fic for Zen Cho's Black Water Sister), for Hokkien, Bahasa Melayu, and Manglish. in line with the author’s original choice I avoided giving any glossaries or explanations. plenty of readers in the global south infer the meaning of foreign words/brand in Anglo-American settings all the time, from context. who’s to say the reverse can’t be done? I’m also not a fan of italicising foreign words and try to do the opposite: italicising English words instead. neither do I really enjoy any arguments that foreign media should be localized for Anglo-American palates; I prefer when something is specific to a culture instead of universalised, even if it may come off weird or incomprehensible.

romanisation’s a different matter. I’m fine with romanised dialogue for Malay and Japanese but with Chinese romanised dialogue (via hanyu pinyin) can be harder to parse — I’m fluent in Chinese and used to reading in Hanzi. this changes, of course, with dialects or other writing norms.

in the Chinese media/fiction I’ve read where English dialogue is what’s foreign instead, writers have written English dialogue wholesale (as in, in English words) without translating it into Chinese or translated it into Chinese.

I’m from an ex-British colony in Southeast Asia and how dialogue is conveyed and handled is one of those things that can indicate right away an author’s biases and assumed cultural defaults. even reading fic set in my or other southeast Asian countries by diaspora writers can feel strange if foreign dialogue (among other elements) is Pointed Out and made into an event; I prefer when many things that would be the default in people’s milieu here and simply baked into people’s worldviews can be written and let to pass without comment. in Black Water Sister my one petty comment is that the (Malaysian Chinese-American) main character’s initial cluelessness in Malaysia was jarring (and stereotypical), but I get that that’s part of the premise (and it was handled smoothly after). and of course, the universal bromide applies. no media ever has to cater to my taste, she typed in jest.

19. first fandom you wrote for?

snk/attack on titan.

20. favorite fic you've ever written?

hard to answer because i love most of the ones I've written for multifandom exchanges but some of my favourites are the sun coming out, a map of the broken world, and lantern-black, the pitch of light.

(not a coincidence perhaps that 2 of these were written for @bothzangetsus!)

template:

1. how many works do you have on ao3?

2. what's your total ao3 word count?

3. what fandoms do you write for?

4. what are your top five fics by kudos?

5. do you respond to comments?

6. what's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

7. what's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

8. do you get hate on fics?

9. do you write smut? if so, what kind?

10. do you write crossovers? what’s the craziest one you've written?

11. have you ever had a fic stolen?

12. have you ever had a fic translated?

13. have you ever co-written a fic before?

14. what's your all-time favorite ship?

15. what's a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

16. what are your writing strengths?

17. what are your writing weaknesses?

18. thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

19. first fandom you wrote for?

20. favorite fic you've ever written?

[ambelle]

WHY do I have to explain these things?

People have to understand that Trump = the end of Democracy. A third party candidate has no chance of winning. It's Trump or Kamala. You really want to change the two-party system? I don't believe you. Here's an explanation as to why I don't believe you along with a lesson on how our government actually works.

People always wait until the election year to TALK about a glorious revolution but this energy is nonexistent before and after the election. It's performative showboating. Protest voters have no plan for a revolution because they don't actually want one. They talk shit on twitter for a few months then November comes along and they move on with their lives suddenly no longer pumped up to ~Dismantle the System~. Right back at work paying taxes that fund wars they don't agree with like the rest of us robots they are so much smarter than.

If Jill is serious why isn't she and her followers even attempting to start small? Run for mayor or governor or something...anything to grow your platform. Instead, it's crickets from these people right until the election comes up and they want "campaign funding" then they vanish into thin air for 3 years. Why can't she win even on a local level is it because she's not even trying? She is an agent of chaos who accepts money from shady rich people with ties to Israel just like everyone else + thinks genociding Ukraine is fine. Are we picking and choosing which genocides are okay or is the idea itself morally corrupt? I can't keep up. Should the Ukraine babies be blown up?

Real change isn't just putting a third party candidate in office. If you truly want to dismantle the way things work you have to know how the government works. You really want third parties to have a chance? Cool then you need to be having conversations about getting rid of the Electoral College. I don't ever see third-party supporters doing that. Instead they say "well if we split the vote then next time they'll take 3rd party more serious." Next time? You mean the time after the Dictatorship? This shit is so unserious. WTF were y'all doing the past 3.5 years instead of talking about the Electoral College issue?

You want the President ( or in Kamala's case Vice President) to have more power than they actually do? Cool then you have to get rid of Congress. That's how it'll be 100% up to the president whether or not we fund Israel. Because as of now CONGRESS decides that. Meaning not even President Jesus would be able to stop the aid to Israel. When a bill has passed both the House of Representatives and the Senate, it is sent to the President for review. The President has 10 days to sign the bill into law or veto it but guess what happens when he vetos...it goes right back to them and they vote to make it law. What plan do 3rd party voters have to get rid of Congress and checks and balances? How would their presidency play out any differently if the system itself is exactly the same???

If you do happen to like Democracy and checks in balances then guess what you have to do. Vote...that's right LMAO vote for the state reps who will be in Congress. Vote in all elections so you have more control over ALL three branches. The problem isn't voting for the President. The problem is forgetting to vote for the other elections and then being confused why the president can't get anything done. Congress passed the bill and Biden signed it. That's what happened.

Mind you historically black people were killed fighting for the right to vote. White supremacists were passing Jim Crow laws and doing the absolute most to suppress the black vote. If it doesn't matter then why do that? Why is Georgia secretly unregistering people who signed up on their websites as Democrats?

Voting IS power.

Below are visuals of the bill Congress passed, a breakdown of their vote (and if you look you can see by name to know for the next elections who needs to go), and a REMINDER that the Vice President has nothing to fucking do with this process whatsoever.

[whenlifegivesyousparklingwater]

Saturday, March 23, 2024

Dear Public Diary,

I finished the Grisha Trilogy. Overall, I'd rate it a 3.5/5. It wasn't bad, it just wasn't particularly special. I don't know how to feel about the third book. Something twisted inside me as the knife twisted in the Darkling. There's something about morally gray characters that hold a soft spot in my heart, especially when it is done well. I like that Leigh Bardugo did not shy away from the truth of humanity, that there is a thin line between what is right and wrong, and that villains are not without motivations that stem from the right place. I like how the theme of power was expressed in the series. I don't exactly know how to explain it, but it was done well, where power was neither good nor bad in and of itself. I liked how Alina still grieved for the Darkling despite his evil parts. Until a few years ago, I believed in my teenage invincibility and cockiness that I had the world figured out. Things were either good or bad in all situations, nothing in between. Oh, how foolish I had been. It's weird, isn't it? Babies emerge knowing nothing, and children believe they have the world figured out, just to figure out how much more there is to learn that they did not know even existed. Will we ever come to the same confidence as we were as teenagers? Probably not.

"Suffering is cheap as clay and twice as common. What matters is what each man makes of it." This quote stuck with me. We all believe our suffering to be unique, and in a way, they are, but suffering as a concept, we all bear. I think the inability to understand this is why some people are so bitter. Why I was so bitter in my youth. If anything, we should be pitying those who have never had life-shattering sufferings--what a fearful life it must be, where every new anxiety may be the worst one yet. When you suffer deeply, there is not much else to fear. What does a man who has lost everything have to fear, compared to those who only have more to lose? Korea has a saying that roughly translates to "The hardships of youth cannot even be bought with gold." The hardships you face in youth let you live a happy life because it makes you stronger for your future. It is a learning opportunity. I feel like I am aging out of "youth." What comes of the sufferings I face now and moving forward? Perhaps it just becomes another lump of clay I throw onto the metaphorical pottery wheel of life to create the thousandth cereal bowl, just for it to gather dust in the cupboards.

I don't know what book to read next. Maybe I will finally read Norwegian Wood. The woman on the cover has been glaring at me from under the bed for the past week. It's the smallest book I own, so it is naturally the book that is on the top of the stack. Actually, The Picture of Dorian Gray is the smallest, but I don't think the face of that cover would look at me any less pointedly. I have a lot of work to do that I should be spending my time on, but I know that if it isn't reading, I will spend my time distracted with something else, something probably less productive.

I need to start taking my antidepressants again. I've been forgetting, and it's taking a toll on me. I can feel it. It's not necessarily that I feel depressed, but I feel withdrawn from everything around me. I feel myself being aloof and neglecting myself. I just took one right now, at 3:30 am. Is it a bad idea to take them so late (or so early)? Maybe, but I know that if I don't take it now, I will not take it anytime within the next 24 hours. I was about to eat bread, but the expiration date was from two days ago. Is it still safe to eat? I don't really see any mold, and there are only three slices left. I'll still eat it. I'm eating it. I'll update you tomorrow if this is a bad idea.

Yours truly,

RCH

[lgcdanbi]

to think the end has finally come ! 3.5 years ago, i joined lgc - the first roleplay i joined in years where i didn’t know anyone else - scared but excited at what was to come in this amazing group. i’ve achieved so much with my muses, met so many incredible friends, and made such incredible memories along the way.

i’m slightly regretful that i couldn’t have had a better in-character send-off for danbi and nathan, but for anyone who knows me (or doesn’t know, hi if you’re still following this account!), my life has gotten increasingly busy and i’ve gotten less and less active. 3.5 years ago, i was still a college student with (honestly) all the free time in the world, but the past few months have been some of the busiest they’ve ever been - and it’s been such a shame to not be able to devote any of my available time to the one place that got me through the pandemic, moving across the country, starting a new job, and settling into my 20s.

now, don’t get me wrong - i’m not leaving permanently! i’ll still be on the admin team creating graphics, and who knows, i might come back with a new muse sooner than you (and maybe even i) think, but this chapter of my life with danbi and nathan has definitely come to a close.

under the cut, you’ll find my lasting thoughts on geum danbi and how i expect the rest of her life to go now that she’s left the company (and you’ll find a similar one for nathan on his account, too!). it’ll mostly be for me, so for anyone who’s still reading this - thank you for writing with me, danbi, and nathan! without you, lgc wouldn’t have become home. see you soon, and onto the next 🤍

with that all out of the way, i can finally write this long overdue love letter to my very first muse here at lgc - the longest (!) i’ve ever had a muse, infact.

dear danbi, you are so special to me. when i first envisioned you, you compensated in the role of a sweet, nice older sister that i doubted myself to be. writing you was therapeutic in that way - it wasn’t joy, per se, but a comfort if not to anyone else but me. i won’t lie that my development for you was minimal, if not nonexistent, and for that, i can only apologize. there were so many things - so many things, i swear! - i had planned, but alas, i only have myself to blame that those never came to fruition. at the very least, you found success, friendship, love - and that’s all anyone ever needs in life, right? danbi, i love you, and i hope you’re happier now.

ic-wise, i think danbi’s thoughts of leaving probably started around the preparations for their japanese debut. the anxiety and worry about their japanese promotions was more than she ever had for actually debuting, and i think that all finally came to a point when they were able to come back to korea and take a break for a bit.

after 5 (!) years of training, i think she’ll look back on life and think she has more regrets than she initially thought. not going to college, being away from her family - all for a job that still terrifies her after all this time (and at her big age of twenty 26 lol). 

she’d leave quietly and with a smile, not a sob, when she finally says good-bye. moving out of the dorm would be bittersweet - and she’d feel guilty, definitely, for leaving the crystallis girls when they needed her most (but would put in a great recommendation as @lgcyura for their new leader!).

she definitely had her kdrama moment with @lgcjaesun - in my dreams, she’d say, “if we find our way back to each other, we’re meant to be. if that’s the case, let’s get married - i’ll try not to look forward to it.”

she’ll move back to daejeon and go from being an idol to a successful fan of crystallis and, of course, her little sister @lgcnabi!

i’d like to think that she went back to school - got her degree in marketing or something, so she can be close to the entertainment industry without necessarily being in the spotlight herself. 

yeah, it’s better that way. :’)

[ultramaga]

I'd say the 3.5" floppy was when computing became mainstream. Personal computers existed for a long time at around the price of a car. Then they crashed.

I don't know anyone who had an 8" at home. 5 1/4 was used for the models that were expensive for a normal household. My introduction was through a friend of the family who was a computer programmer, and whose equipment was paid for by the company. I saw some later at various places, but the few people I knew of who had them at home were definitely better off. Maybe they were relatively cheaper overseas. By the end of the 1980s, 5¼-inch disks had been superseded by 3½-inch disks.

And what else happened at around that time? Home internet. In fact, I'm pretty sure icons themselves came in at that time. There's no point having a symbol for a 5 1/4 when most of the save functions will be done either on a command line or something similar, and when the word processors came in, there was no standardisation anyway.

I think this was the first word processor I used. Not fun. Microsoft changed all that. So did Apple. Suddenly the same icons used in word processor would appear in a database. I can remember using the Amiga while most PC systems were using a CLI.

Notice the icon top right? It doesn't mean save.

Have a look at Windows 1.0. This was a bit of a flop. I never saw much point in Windows until 3.1, when it blew everyone away.

And there's the 3.5". So my theory is that by the time windows based systems were taking off, the 5 1/4 was on the way out, the 3.5 was taking over and the home internet was becoming mainstream.

This article points out that the 3.5 was actually around for a very long time.

"the format held out far longer than anyone expected, regularly shipping in PCs up until the mid-2000s" I can tell you sometimes the operating system manufacturers would release their product on 3.5".

I was flabbergasted when I bought OS2/WARP and found out it was on floppy. No, they didn't warn me, certainly didn't install it for me, and it was NO REFUNDS. I think I bought it over the phone, along with a desktop from a shop in Parramatta. It was cheap, I was poor, and back then I had no idea that shops would be willing to burn the customers in exchange for a quick buck. After that time, I have always preferred being able to walk in and inspect before buying - but it is impossible nowadays. The install would often fail halfway through. Start again. One time I had the tech support guy on the phone with me for hours, because my hardware was supposed to be supported but it clearly wasn't. I gave up on that OS and it failed as a competitor to windows, perhaps because windows was being sold on CD. Oooh, Windows 95 was also sometimes sold on 3.5. I'd forgotten about that.

So there you are. Icons were around earlier but they only really took off with the Apple 1.0.

But I don't really remember seeing them used at home. And look at the drive it was using.

I think my first exposure to Macs was maybe 88? So I think of them as being pretty late; maybe they were more common in the US/Europe. But that was back in 84, and the snazzy 3.5 was quite prominent. I was already familiar with that sort of a computer - I think I must have already been using an amiga 500 at home, and started ahead of most students in being able to use the system. Whereas I had a lot of friends who were still using a command line interface.

The Amiga 500 was a lot cheaper, and it showed, but under better management it could have been a real competitor to IBM/Microsoft. It was affordable for most families. That was mind-blowing. And the interface was a hell of a lot friendlier than the IBM clones had available. MS-DOS dominated the IBM PC compatible market between 1981 and 1995.

Windows 3.1, made generally available on March 1, 1992.

So basically everyone else had a GUI by that time. IBM Clones were more business machines than anything else, but with 3.1, computing was starting to get to the point where granny could do it. Windows 95, and microsoft office, changed everything I would say, and pretty much crushed all opposition. We still technically have Apple computers, but they pretty much exist to be an expensive toy now. And of course, the consoles have taken over in gaming, and mobile computing continues to erode the very concept of the desktop, with top down pressure to get rid of the very idea of owning a computer or an application, and just have people rent computing power and stream the results. At some point, I expect neural interfaces will take over. Embedded interfaces are weirdly popular in business already, I am told. And then I expect the current generation of iconography to disappear. But until then, the icons we know are largely there because of one woman working for Apple, and the save icon in particular is there because one form of technology was just so damned useful... and used long after it shouldn't have been for those bloody operating system installs....

TiL (click to go to the thread, which probably has more interesting tidbits I missed).

Bonus:

[thepiinkpages]

Sooo, I decided to review these two book at once because in my humble opinion they should've been one book.

I enjoyed book 1, but I had a harder time with this one. The main reason I'm struggling is because there's been very little movement in the plot or relationships. Yes, we know where the illness is coming from now, but throwing another mate in the mix just muddies up the water.

Her wolves have mistreated her and ignored her, so no, I don't believe they deserve her. That bedroom scene at the end irritated me though. I mean, why wouldn't the door be locked? Why would the wolf princes interfere when they don't want her. Why would the new hubby go from romantic to acting like she's an object to use? While Tara showed a little backbone, I feel like she still is too submissive. I don't understand why she can't at least use words to stand up for herself. It seems she doesn't realize that the treatment she's received from her coven, and now the wolves, is wrong. Why? She witnessed other people in her coven being treated well, so why wouldn't she know what acceptable treatment is? I have to agree with some of the reviews from the first book about her naivety and extreme innocence. She's a 20 year old young woman. She's been educated. Whether or not she has social interaction with other people or not, she has to know something about the birds and the bees. The extremeness of her "innocence" is pretty unbelievable.

I want to say my favorite ML is Garrick however, deep in my toxic heart I know it's Drogo *insert sigh here* even though he's the one that treats her the worst I CANT help myself. It'a a problem, really.

Here's some quotes, unfortunately it's only one this time:

"...Is it weird having seen everyone naked? It must be if all the ladies know you guys are hung like horses..."

Hope the next book is better.

This is more of a rant than a review to be honest. So many questioning things happened in this book that had my head spinning.

The guys don’t give a shit about her for 2.5 books until she walks away from them and all of a sudden they realize she is their mate and now they can overlook everything and move past their issues? I can suspend belief like any good reader but this was complete BS. There was no transition time, it went from compete assholes to we love her in moments. Then when they state they are going to grovel forever we get a couple a sorry exclamations and then she immediately sleeps with all three! Immediately after they say sorry! Like within moments of them apologizing and her saying they don’t deserve her she has major body betrayal and then afterwards forgives them completely because of the mate bond. That is not groveling! Which leads me to my next rant on the horrific spicy scene with her wolf mates!

Also, the fact that she loses her virginity to a man that is decribed as a 'monster' and has a 'monster size' is absolutely crazy. How on Earth can she do that without proper care? On addition to that, how did she lose her virginity not even a day ago and then have sex the next day with all THREE of her mates?? What makes it so much worse is that in all the ways that scene could have gone down the author chooses to have her take 2 guys in her vag and then another in her ass all at the same time with no anal prep?!? Seriously they all just climb on her and insert themselves. Don’t worry he spits in his hand first so that must be good enough lubrication right?

This series makes me feel so many things. Not all things bad though. I like a good groveling man so I liked that part. Throw everything else away though. I still don't understand how they beat the witches that quickly. I was expecting at least 3 chapters of them fighting but it was over in a paragraph... wasn't the mother suppose to be a powerful ass witch? What happened to that?

Because of the anticlimactic ending on addition to everything else, it makes me rate this book a 3.5.

Here's a quote:

"...Thank you for your beautiful smile. Thank you for the gentle way you;ve been with my father. Thank you for making our lives brighter just by being in them..."

Trust me ya'll, that's the nicest thing her 3 wolf mates said to her in the majority of all three books.