#what does the Napper do ? well what does it sound like

[pilferingapples]

keep seeing posts along the lines of "remember YOU could be just like this villainous character you hate" and it's always some real high-achiever type and I appreciate the moral sentiment of it all but also

no

no I couldn't

I do not have that kind of energy , I'm doing good to feed the cats on time and I routinely forget what day of the week it is, I am NOT implementing some 4D chess scheme to deploy a Warbot Army downtown, or building an affront to the laws of god and man in my basement

at my most badass I'm Not Returning Some Phone Calls , if I am ever the villain of the piece than I truly feel sorry for the hero whose Nemesis Assignment Assessment looked at them and said "we're assigning you...The Napper"

[thegirlwholied]

fellow period-piece swooners, I have a movie rec for you and I am downright flexing my hand about it. and I am sorry, so sorry, that you cannot watch it right now- because I attended the world premiere at TIFF last night and apparently it's still seeking distribution which means unfortunately there are no gifs yet for me to reblog - but this is your notice to keep a weather eye:

the movie is the Widow Clicquot. the plot is champagne!

...not the celebratory spritz and spray of it all, but the dedication and innovation and passion and knowing-your-taste-and-insisting-on-it of getting bubbles to be just the right size and fuck Napoleon's embargos actually...

also, the people expressing opinions about Napoleon are a British cast pretending to be French - which I guess appeals to the piece of my soul that is Les Mis.

it's beautifully filmed in a way I specifically associate with Pride & Prejudice 2005... which makes sense given the director, Thomas Napper, directed the second camera unit on P&P 2005 & Atonement & Anna Karenina & etc. Joe Wright, who directed those, is a producer here (and was on stage last night & I had no idea who he was whoops).

there's a scene of exploding champagne bottles that may haunt me forever the way the floating cotton in North & South 2004 does. that & the vines.

to quote Taylor Swift, "it's giving cinematography."

the Widow Clicquot herself is played by Haley Bennett (who has been in many things I haven't seen...yes I had to imdb Haley while sitting in the row right behind her but) who I have seen before in Music & Lyrics! As Cora Corman! "Way Back Into Love"! & "Buddha's Delight"- I believe in karma (la, la, la)

anyway she's great in this - the Q&A host after called her performance "transcendant", not wrong - she had a SAG-AFTRA waiver to be there, and thankfully because this was very apparently a passion project throw-everything-you-are-into-it role for her. And her post-movie quotes speaking both about the character's passion and her own- "do something that makes you feel like a goddess!"; "do what you love and let it kill you"- made me a fan.

the Widow Clicquot's dead husband? Tom Sturridge, The Sandman himself and playing just as much a dream as Dream (note: I do not promise "dreamy" I promise "dream" which can also have adjectives like "wild" and "fever" applied). You need a good voice when leaning on some voiceover from letters/memory for a character; he sure has it.

but. Sam Riley. aka Mr Darcy from Pride & Prejudice & Zombies, and Maleficent's hot raven (and looks even better in this imho)- his character is Louis Bohne, Veuve Clicquot's wine merchant, and as much as the Widow herself, his character made me go, "I need to read the book" to learn how much was history v fiction there.

the character dynamic was: damn, of course you're cool with your husband's libertine BFF/possibly-lover, you're secure and he's such fun company.... your husband's tragically gone but his friend helps you out & appreciates your true love of the vineyard without overstepping... well. get yourself a friend you can both giggle with over how hot the new foreman is (Leo Suter filling a historical-eye-candy role) ... AND hook up with yourself. you go girl, & bless your hot bisexual heart fictionalized Louis Bohne.

(hottest kiss in cinema off the top of my head is always the Timothy Olyphant & Jennifer Garner first kiss in Catch & Release. But some scenes here flirt with that level, & it was the Widow/Louis scenes for me).

the sound alone made this one worth seeing in theaters; sounds were so well used (maybe when a movie is so much about taste, & you can't convey taste through a screen, you double down on the senses you can) and it was scored by Bryce Dessner from The National (whose brother has been collaborating on Taylor Swift's recent best tunes)-

the Widow's name is Barbe-Nicole and not to make a Champagne Barbie reference but this hit in the spot Barbie also reached for, in a subtle way, with the effortlessly close relationship she has with her maid (Lizzie from Peaky Blinders! thanks imdb, knew I knew that face) and the woman in a man's world of it all - obviously one who created a successful dynasty of champagne and how did I never know how instrumental women have been in creating champagne as we know it, about to jump down a historical rabbit hole here-

+ also. grief. "you don't understand. he wasn't just someone's first love". an early line + the one that stuck with me.

anyway. not to say I think it's a perfect movie (there were a few "wait I need more information" beats that left me feeling like I *need* and not just want to read the book)... and it didn't make me think "this better be up for an Oscar" (One Life, with Johnny Flynn & Anthony Hopkins which I saw Saturday: made me cry & should be)- though I think it could be for sound!... and I don't know if I'd say it's the movie I enjoyed the most (Flora & Son, out Sept 29) or learned the most from (Paul Simon documentary, all 209 minutes of it, probably takes that of the 4 films I saw)-

But it's the one I'm writing this post about. & I'm going to get the book. It made me want a bottle of Veuve Clicquot champagne. & to go to the champagne region. & to see gifs of it on my dash, immediately. & I would read fan fic if there was some- it built the characters and its own movie world enough for that, with enough space left to wonder- and when a movie can do that, it thrills me.

anyway Tumblr, or at least the side I always land on. I think you'd like it. I think it's your kind of movie too. and it's filled with a lot of love from people who clearly loved making it. here's to independent productions and the unions fighting for fair deals to make a living doing what they love, here's to feeling like a goddess, here's to gorgeous period pieces and gif makers of scenes to come, here's to the author in the audience who got to see her book on screen- and the movie star who got it made and all of us still working on making our own art into something that can be seen someday. Here's to the passion of creativity in whatever shape it takes, pour the champagne 🍾🥂

[serendertothesquad]

"Wordsville" and the Problem with Cash-Cow Copies

[note original day of creation was February 15, 2024. just...just for reference. trust me bro.]

Hello.

Tonight I am in a silly mood fueled by sleep deprivation.

That means you all get an introspective blog that I will complete within a week and then ask "why'd I write that?"

So here's what's on Seren's lovely table of discussion tonight...

Put...put away the glasses. You don't need your glasses. This is the highest-quality thing I can get.

But et voila. A little project in the works called Wordsville.

Now, at this point you might be asking why I'm referencing "cash-cow copies" in the title. And whoo-hoo...oooooh...well, I don't want to make this some kind of clickbait blog, so I might as well perfect the atomic bomb in five minutes and land it on you folks.

What if I were to tell you that this is a blatant, shameless, slap-a-digital-coat-on-it-and-call-it-a-day copy of Odd Squad?

Ahhh, see, now I have you intrigued. Hopefully. If you are, then peep down below and let me discuss things a little more in-depth for you non-believing hacks asking me if I'm borderline insane.

So to put things in perspective, allow me to explain what Wordsville is, starting with my own personal summary.

Wordsville is an up-and-coming episodic (not to be confused with serialized, that's a whole 'nother ballgame) TV series that is produced (and will later be distributed) by Sinking Ship Entertainment and is made with assistance from WNET, a PBS station located in New Jersey, and TVO Kids, PBS Kids's girlfriend from Canada that's definitely real.

It was announced back in October of last year with a press release from Kidscreen, which didn't give much info aside from the following blurb:

Wordsville stars two child detectives on the hunt for missing words that are causing chaos in their town.

Sounds a little familiar, don'tcha think? Two kid detectives, finding something missing...and that "something missing" is causing chaos where they live?

Oh, but if you think the similarities end there, then no. No the absolute fuck they do not. I've got my bathing suit on and God damn it if I'm not gonna jump all the way in the pool instead of dippin' my little toes in there.

Doing a little bit of digging reveals more tidbits from a casting call for the series. It's rather wordy (ayyyyyy I did a funy), so let's take it piece by piece and discuss accordingly.

Wordsville is a town populated entirely by kids

A town that is populated entirely by children? Now c'mon, surely that doesn't ring a be-

...Ah. Whaddya know. Yes it does.

And with the adults as useless and idiotic as they are, it might as well be a town full of solely children. Next question.

and it’s a place where words matter. A lot. Every kid citizen has a special connection to words. And that means that if something happens to a word, there are far-reaching consequences.

A special connection to words? Like how there are children who have a special connection to normalcy? Stopping, oh, I dunno, hypothetically speaking...

...oddness?

Okay okay, I'm reaching just a wee bit here, but you can't read this and not tell me it echoes the funny kids math show to some degree or another. If an odd thing happens to a person, the whole town suffers. You've seen it. I've seen it. It's been the basis for many an A and B-plot. Must I elaborate? Good, because I don't plan on it. Continuing.

If the Main Street Baker bakes delicious donuts and they all mysteriously disappear, nothing else in Wordsville can taste good until they are returned.

Town Baker walked so Main Street Baker can sprint while blowing their lungs out.

If the Town Doctor’s soothing medication gets swiped, the whole town gets uncontrollably itchy until the medicine-napper is uncovered.

Ignoring the incredibly dark implications of this as well as the implications of this shoddy knockoff town having only one single doctor...

Dr. O walked so the Town Doctor can sprint while blowing their lungs out...over their massive paycheck.

(I technically could have also put New Dr. O too, but I'd like to spring for iconic OG's here. New Dr. O is neither iconic nor an OG.)

And let me remind you that "Torontonians get uncontrollably itchy due to something odd" would, by technicality, classify as an odd problem. Because...I mean, y'know...the cause is something odd happening. Doing shit with words is odd. This needs absolutely no explaining.

If the Local Scientist does an experiment with electricity and all the lights in town go out, they won’t come back on until the experiment wrecker is revealed.

Yep, I've taken shots of every IPA I can. We nearly hit the main character quadfecta, if you discount Dr. "bro thinks she's part of the team" O. All they needed was a bit about a high governing body and we'd round out the quad squad in proper with Oprah!

There's also a sneaky lil' crumb in the form of that blurb relating to Oona, who did, indeed, experiment with electricity in one episode and wound up proving why she can never take up Crossfit.

Hmmmnnnnext!

In each crime, the episodic word disappears and can’t return until the mystery is solved. The impact of the missing word is felt all over town.

This is another one of those things that I gotta wrench a hammy for in terms of comparisons, because about the only thing I can reasonably compare Odd Squad to is the second sentence.

See, here's the thing. You get oddness that happens to a person. Oftentimes, that oddness spreads to other people, whether directly (in the form of diseases and disorders) or indirectly (like the Town Baker's cakes being split in half, which wouldn't please Torontonians poppin' in for a whole cake and eyeing the display to get a feel for one). In a sense, normalcy disappears and, well, it can't return until [insert partner pair here] solve the case. It's kinda the entire schtick of Odd Squad as a franchise. It's formulaic, just like how Wordsville's "words disappear and nothing can be normal until the word returns" schtick is formulaic.

Is it a stretch? Perhaps. Mileage may vary. I think it's a bit of a stretch, personally. But hey, I'm a grown adult critiquing a ripoff of a kids STEM show. I shouldn't be talking. But I didn't start this fandom nearly 10 years ago just to let Sinking Ship's piss-poor attempt at really capitalizing on one of their biggest franchises sliiiiiide right by me on a floor smooth enough where I'm falling on my ass every 10 seconds.

Luckily, best friends and partners Sage and Chase are on the case and run the only detective agency in town. These tech-savvy sleuths solve mysteries entirely virtually because their reading, listening and digital literacy skills are their greatest strengths. Sage and Chase always catch their culprit and make sure everything is right with the word.

Now where in the McFuck do I start with this one? The PAW Patrol catchphrase thrown in complete with shared name? The fact that there is only one detective agency in the entire town? The fact that Sage and Chase are best friends as well as work partners? Or the pun that made me actively cringe in a way I haven't felt since Whitney told James she wanted to go on the lake?

I mean...this is about Odd Squad, so...I guess the second one sounds most plausible.

But that doesn't need explaining either. There is only one detective agency in town. There is one Odd Squad precinct per city or per state.

No, neither does the third bit. I already referenced Olive and Otto above. You should know what's up.

(I've also read that blurb five times now and...well...we'll get to the digital stuff in a bit. That just needs a whole side-set of word vomit.)

-------------------------------

In my digging of this series -- which, well, wasn't all that much -- I managed to find a few blurbs on our two main characters. The casting call for them, funny enough, called for, and I will quote this exactly, "talent to look 9."

As in, they want the actors to physically look 9 years old.

Which puts that qualifier in the same ballpark as Odd Squad UK's "talent must be Canadian but live in the UK". But at least that prerequisite actually had a legitimate earnest reason behind it, which is that the production needed to be Canadian in a lot more than just the "Canadian prodco works on a British series" sense. Hiring kids who have to physically look 9 years old and will probably be yoted onto the street the second puberty hits them like a truck is a practice not even the most egregious bosses of family-owned-and-operated businesses could pull off.

But enough about the qualifiers. Let's get started on our character comparisons and civil cidiscussion! (Oh the irony...)

And remember this: the casting call was handled by Larissa Mair Casting, who previously did casting for Odd Squad. So that means there will be tinny lil' crumbs of bonus material for me to dissect and discuss! Huzzah! Aw God why can't this happen for Odd Squad UK...man, I'm gonna have to go into my sobbing corner...

First up, we have Sly Sleuth, originally referred to as "Sage" here. I'll also be referring to him as "Sage" in this blog.

Sage is a great detective; thoughtful, extremely logical, and talented at getting information out of people.

Thoughtful of others. Logical. And can wrench information out of suspects like a badass.

Yep, we got an Olive that got hit with an Olando-fied beam. (And because half of you don't know who Olando is: Sage is meant to be a male Olive. I hope that clears things up for you.)

What else?

Nothing related to vocabulary or literacy gets by this investigator. Suspects can underestimate Sage but that is always a mistake. Sage doesn’t scare easily and won’t take no for an answer, traits that make an excellent detective.

You could tell me this was how Olive was meant to be written in "My Better Half", word for word, and I would honestly believe you. Right down to asking, "Her name was Sage in pre-production?"

About the only place I can draw the line here is at Olive not scaring easily. We don't know Sage's backstory -- and once again, this is an episodic series, so don't expect much in the way of plot, backstory included -- but Olive, at least, has a legitimate reason for all the times she covers her ears at loud noises or sharply reacts to something startling.

The former is because of The Censor-Friendly Bullet Massacre of '15.

The latter is because Dalila Bela marched straight out of a viewing of Who Framed Roger Rabbit and never looked back.

I...can't really say either applies to Sage. At least not yet. We'll have to see if Sinking Ship decides to bring Wordsville into its lil' multiverse that Odd Squad and Dino Dana and Endlings and Playdate already share.

Sage is also wise, which is why the name “Sage” is completely appropriate.

Sooooo does that mean his name is Sly because he's cunning like a fox?

Well then in other news, Olive is named such because she was inspired by the famous Law and Order character Olivia Benson. I have fifteen folders that back me right the hell up. Also I contacted Sinking Ship the other day, they explicitly told me.

No, no, but in all seriousness. Olive, too, is very wise. Historian buff, knows her shit about Odd Squad, doo-dah, doo-dah.

Anyway, next up we have Chase, who was renamed to "Gabby Gumshoe". (I'll be referring to her as Chase in this blog, as well.) Let's see what's on the chopping block for her in terms of our favorite food-loving, hella tall, crazy silly blorbo.

Chase is a fantastic detective, but is also goofy[,] funny, visually oriented, and, like the name suggests, loves the “chase”.

Now there's a man who got hit with a yassified beam, right there.

I'll leave it up to you folks whether you consider Otto to be "visually oriented". But in terms of "loving the chase"...yeah, I'd say that fits.

To lay it down: Otto is a rookie agent. Common sense would lead anyone to assume that he has an absolute blast solving odd cases and absorbing every bit of knowledge about Odd Squad that he possibly can. He finds out a villain's on the loose? He's right there, by Olive's side, workin' to catch 'em. He finds out oddness has run rampant throughout the town? He's right on that shit.

Chase, on the other hand, is someone I wouldn't call a rookie. It's made quite evident that she is, for all intents and purposes, seasoned. Seasoned enough that she manages to keep the detective agency she works for afloat and get approval from the others in Wordsville, Sage included. This, perhaps, is because she's not really meant to be an audience surrogate in the same way Otto is. Otto, at least for the first few episodes, serves as a way to ease the audience into Odd Squad and show them what the organization is and what they do without yoting them into it and leaving them asking "Where am I?" more times than a drunkard. Chase doesn't fill that role, because it could be argued that such a show like Wordsville doesn't really need an audience surrogate. Whether that's true, though, remains to be seen.

People tend to underestimate this investigator, but Chase often notices things like a chocolate stain when someone said they didn’t like chocolate or a squiggle of icing that turns out to be the antonym of the word they’re tracking.

Y' take Otto's...Otto's love of food...and y' put it in a gorl...and BAM you got a character.

...

That isn't a joke. It's dead-on serious. Even the casting call script pins Chase as a kid with a sweet tooth! It's just Otto but with a less diverse palate! Otto eats everything! This kid eats sweets! God sakes, give her some juice, make her Oprah, I don't give a shit, fucking hell I'm driving 50 minutes to Burger Ki-

Chase is also great with computers and incredibly artistic. A graphic note taker[,] Chase loves to draw, has a great eye for details, is a big fan of the “zoom in” function, and really enjoys creating animated re-enactments of Word Mysteries.

All right, we finally have somewhere we can draw the line.

No, not at being tech-literate. With being artistic.

Otto's artistic talent kind of varies throughout the franchise. In drawing on paper, he's pretty solid for an I-just-recently-turned-10-please-praise-me-year-old. In making paper airplanes, he's solid enough to take down a grown-ass man and rock his sunglasses when he's done for.

In computer drawing...well...if you can believe it, concepts like Ibispaint and Photoshop don't exist in the world of Odd Squad. (Okay, maaaaybe Photoshop does. I don't think it does. But it could be a good in-universe justification for it.)

We don't know Otto's digital artist merit because we never see him make any digital art. All of his art is solely non-digital. On Chase's side of things, she lives in an era where digital drawing is, like in real life, the norm. It's a contrast that might be one of the more glaring ones when it comes to comparing these two shows.

Now, as for the "creating animated re-enactments" schtick...if that isn't an excuse for Sinking Ship to work their animation magic after the Sandy Cheeks movie, then I honestly don't know what is. If you wanted to make the show animated, you could have made it animated. Would've been cheaper, too!

(And "Word Mysteries"...it's not as grating as Wild Kratts's "Wow Fact", but it's edging pretty close. I blame WNET. That's solely a PBS thing right there. TVO Kids would never.)

----------------

So we've gotten the discussion about the two main characters out of the way. Now we can dive into the heartier meat. The kind where's it's purple on the inside but you still digest it anyway.

I'm talking, of course, about the sample scripts- script. Singular. There is one script. Uno.

Now, lemme give you a bit of a rundown: casting calls for Odd Squad -- really, most shows, but this is a blog about Odd Squad -- often come with sample scripts. This is so talents can read their parts aloud for the camera and have the tape submitted to the casting agency for consideration. Odd Squad in particular has had quite an interesting ride with sample scripts, from entire episode plots being adapted into final products (with a bit of tweaking) to characters having names different than what they're named in the final product (which is the case with both Sly and Gabby). They're nothing on the scale of ABC Me dropping episodes earlier than PBS or shorts getting dropped as an alleged April Fools prank, but they're pretty damn good crumbs to chew on.

The sample script starts out with Sage and Chase on, of course, a video call. (Sinking Ship made a Zoom reference once. Pray they do not make another by the name of a friendly drug called "Speed" or that term for peeing known as a "Whiz".) Chase explains that she just gave her office chair's wheels a tune-up, which, of course, makes her hungry. Hungry enough that she declares a "cookie break" and immediately takes out a ginormous cookie from hammerspace that just made the European bakery down the street from me start sobbing. (Look, they make good cookies. Giant cookies. Cookies I need two hands just to hold properly. Trust me, it's- it's massive.)

However, when she bites into the cookie, she finds that it tastes absolutely gross -- "not sweet, not even sour". While she ponders if her body has forcefully rejected one of the best sweet treats known to humankind, Sage begins to grow suspicious and asks if it's a Word Mystery they need to solve.

Which is, coincidentally enough, when the Main Street Baker calls in a fit of hysteria, explaining that their "delicious donuts" are gone. And because we can't take enough from Odd Squad, we get a bit of "literal humor" in the form of the donuts both being delicious (probably) and them spelling the word "delicious" prior to their disappearance. After Sage explains what "delicious" means as well as what synonyms are, it's shown that the culprit also struck other pastries, up to and including gingerbread people, which Sage absolutely takes personally because he's a kid of pure culture who gives a big "fuck you" to holiday-specific treats being enjoyed only during said holidays.

Chase, in true Otto fashion, decides to take more bites of her cookie and instantly regrets it. Sage, in true...well...Clint Eastwood fashion (I shit you not, that's literally what it says in the script), declares that they need to find the word "delicious" and fix the pastries.

And...yeah, that's about it. Like I said, there's really not much to go on with casting call sample scripts. Especially not ones from Larissa Mair.

My conclusive thoughts on it, you ask? Well...they can try to hide it, but all it's doing is enforcing my point. From the Main Street Baker having donuts missing similar to how the Town Baker had bagels missing in "Soundcheck", to Chase being an idiot who is obsessed with food the same way Otto is (right down to his willingness to drink Odd Todd's pickle juice when it tasted gross in "Bad Lemonade"!), even down to the "literal metaphor" kind of humor as it applies to singular words. Am I stretching? Perhaps. But these supposedly insignificant pieces are just part of the bigger picture, the larger issue at hand in this long-winded piece.

------------------

The digital aspect of Wordsville is one of the ways they decided to put a twist on the precedent that Odd Squad set. And it's so blatant and in-your-face that it's on par with shoving a red flag in someone's eyes to blind them.

But here's the thing. The digital aspect been done. Amusingly enough, by the same company.

Lockdown is a show that fits right in with the others at the Shows-Made-During-the-COVID-Pandemic-About-the-COVID-Pandemic club. It was a way to capitalize on something in society that probably will never be relevant again until around 2050. Maybe even earlier than that, at the rate we're going.

I haven't seen it, so I can't speak much about it, but from my side of things it looks a lot like Unfriended if it took place during the pandemic and wasn't a horror movie and involved teens and not young adults/adults/I haven't seen the movie in many years bite me.

But the main difference between Lockdown and Wordsville, relevant to this editorial, is that Lockdown has a legitimate reason to be shot entirely on electronic devices. It's part of the plot. It works, I'm sure. For Wordsville, it makes no sense for the outline and isn't just limiting, but is downright insulting for something "rooted in the 21st century". It's good to be unique when making a show, but there's such a thing as trying too hard to be unique to the point where it's detrimental to your show's quality. Making the show be a digital-only angle isn't a smart move, especially for a detective procedural.

And if it's trying to differentiate itself from Odd Squad...well, do I got some bad news for you.

The show already did an entire Zoom parody in the span of an 11-minute episode.

And I still hate it with all the vitriol of an old woman who hates kids playing with beach balls in the yard pool. It sucks ass. It's entirely unneeded when you have three children sitting around the same table. I could vomit on you all day about it. But at least it's far more justified than Wordsville having its entire formula based on it. You can rip off a show without being limiting.

(don't. seriously. don't.)

------------------

Before we get to the conclusion, I need to dive deep into Odd Squad's own popularity and explain it a little more beyond just little "trust me bro" tidbits.

If you've been following it for as long as I have, then it's no secret that Odd Squad is one of Sinking Ship's cash-cow franchises. You've got the main series, six different spinoffs, a live show, a book...and I didn't even provide a whole damn list! Point being, it's huge. It doesn't have many roots in pop culture, but from a certain angle, it is an absolutely massive franchise that continues to grow, even in spite of its controversies.

Unlike works such as SpongeBob or Bluey, Odd Squad isn't popular enough to get bonafide ripoffs. The formula is relatively easy to copy, and if anything there are shows that have a similar premise but aren't even close to ripoff territory (K.C. Undercover, for example). It's just that, for all the ripoffs people have done of shows and movies over the years, the motivation for industry bigwigs in taking Odd Squad and running with it just...isn't there. I can connect it to Disney or Dreamworks or Viacom all I want, but at best they have a vague awareness of it that only goes as far as "oh, that's a thing, I guess". At worst, they see it as a pile of shit that would never turn a decent profit.

It could be argued that Sinking Ship wasn't all too well-known in the entertainment sphere up until Odd Squad came around. Looking at their resume doesn't show all too much in the way of what's popular. This is Daniel Cook, Roll Play, Playdate...they don't stick in your head, right? Yeah, none of them stick in my head either. Odd Squad was their first big hit for them, something that really helped them gain ground as a company. It's the one that's pretty much linked with Sinking Ship in news articles. Like husband and wife, but for the TV industry.

But to Hollywood bigwigs, that means about as much as finding a stick on the ground. I guaran-goddamn-tee Bob Iger is not going to put his grubby little hands on the funny kids math franchise and twist the hell out of it. The only way that's happening is if you run "Odd Squad, but make it Disney" through an AI generator. (Which, for the record, I have not done. You can't really replicate Odd Squad characters in animation without making them look like they walked out of yet another Law and Order spinoff that's far more kid-friendly.)

However, even with Odd Squad's varying popularity, there are shows that go just a little beyond having a similar premise to it but don't dive into ripoff territory. Sort of like a next step up.

A long time ago, a few friends and I in an Odd Squad Discord server were discussing the show Numberjacks. You know, that show that Jacknjellify may or may not have used as inspiration for Four's design? Yeah, that's the bitch.

The show has a few similarities to Odd Squad. You've got the focus on math, a system for exiting the couch headquarters that's similar to the tube system, and even the existence of kid agents and incredibly odd villains, one of which, need I remind you, Twitter tried to make into a sexyman for all of two days to varying degrees of success.

I will admit, I haven't seen Numberjacks in several years. In fact, the last time I saw it was when it was brought up as an Odd Squad ripoff. If I recall correctly, the episode that I picked to watch on a whim was "Seaside Adventure", wherein a few numbers take a vacation and trouble occurs. Or something like that. I really can't remember many details.

One thing I do remember, though, is distinctly thinking that I could see the Odd Squad similarities, but...it's not a ripoff. The series premiered in 2006. By that point, Tim McKeon and Adam Peltzman were off on their own ventures as they wrote for cartoons and other things. Thus, Odd Squad hadn't been birthed yet. If anything, Odd Squad took cues from Numberjacks, not the other way around -- but even with the existence of Odd Squad UK, we don't know that for sure. I don't even know how popular Numberjacks was in the UK. I'm a dumb lil' American, not a Daphne-Moon-esque English woman.

Since then, I haven't found anything that has come close to what Wordsville aims to accomplish. Granted, though, I have not looked very hard. I'm moreso keeping an eye on PBS to see if they're going to try and rip off Odd Squad rather than keeping an eye on any random B-lister studio. (And no, I'm not talking about WNET. They are a PBS station, but I'm referring to PBS as a whole entire network, not a sole affiliate.)

------------------------

So the question remains: is Wordsville an Odd Squad ripoff?

Yes. On multiple counts. Right down to the name inspo. Guilty as charged. Right to jail.

From it being for the 4-7 demo not unlike Odd Squad's own 4-8 demo, to Sage and Chase being referred to as "Word Detectives" in lieu of "agents", to it being a detective procedural not unlike Odd Squad and its spinoffs, to the synopsis of the show being described as having "a case rooted in a vocabulary lesson" similar to Odd Squad having episodes rooted in STEM lessons, to it actively encouraging the audience to solve mysteries along with Sage and Chase...to Sage and Chase having alliterative theme naming...

Yeah, safe to say, we've got ourselves a ripoff.

There's no denying that Odd Squad is a fantastic franchise. Even through all of its issues, including financial controversies, heavy criticism, and mistreatment from PBS, it has remained strong for nearly 10 years, and will stay strong for many more. Maybe one of these days, it will plant roots deeper into pop culture and become one hell of a phenomenon. We'll have to see.

But the fact that Sinking Ship Entertainment has to resort to borrowing a concept that is unique in its nature, a concept that has already been done, a concept that has been given life and creativity by the people who birthed it, and then try to pass it off as its own original IP is not a good look on them. It's been done similarly before with their other big franchise, Dino Dan -- key word being "similarly" because it's one show and three spinoffs focusing on different characters. That isn't the case with Wordsville, though.

Put it this way: it's a company ripping off not someone else's IP, like many other companies have done and continue to do. It's a company ripping off their own IP.

And really, it doesn't matter how it's done. Stealing is stealing. At the end of the day, all it shows is a complete lack of creativity and a complete craving for the almighty dollar. More so if it's a company stealing from themselves and passing it along as okay.

In spite of this, however, I am perfectly willing to give Wordsville a shot when it comes out. Not so much to see if it's good (though my curiosity is piqued), and definitely not to hate-watch (which has the opposite intended effect on a show or movie), but to see just how far Sinking Ship is willing to push the envelope in affirming viewers and industry buddies alike that this is not, by any and all accounts, a copy of Odd Squad. I want to spot similarities. I want to take whiskey shots until I can do a zoom-zoom to a hospital and then ask if they've got a bottle on board the rig. I want to give a full, I-watched-this-show-now-here-are-my-overall-final-thoughts addendum on the entire issue.

As of now, Wordsville has no narrow timeframe. All I know is that it's releasing this year, likely on TVO Kids in Canada. Whether PBS as a whole will adopt it into its roster -- and if anything, it'll be WNET-exclusive, otherwise we would've heard something about it at the TCA Winter Press Tour a few days back -- for American audiences remains yet to be seen. Rest assured, though, that I'll be keeping an eye on it and rushing to it as soon as the first episode drops. After that, I'll give a proper addendum so I can finally put this issue to bed. Along with myself. Revenge bedtime procrastination is a bitch.

Thanks for reading. This honestly started out as something silly, but then I became analytical. So you got a mix of both in this one. This may or may not be the norm. Day-by-day, y'know?

Seren out.

[threestripeslider]

TMNT03: Dark Turtles Headcanon Time

no you do not get a choice, now listen to me. a lot of it is probably inspired by @amevello-blue Dark Turtle fics on AO3, especially the names bc i for one would’ve never come up with that lmao so credits to them and also Read their Fics no i am not Asking.

anyway. im mad we didnt get a 2nd season of Fast Forward that potentially included a Dark Turtles Redemption and all i can think about is them getting taken in by Cody when the turtles travel back to their time and if you know me, im all about the Found Family Shenanigans. so after some grumbling and growling and hissing the boys settle in and finally get to be more than just weapons of destruction.

DaVinci [Dark!Leo]

nicknamed Vin or Vinny

"i don’t give a shit.” actually gives a LOT of shits

grows to be overprotective but in a really unconventional and grumpy way, ESPECIALLY about Cody and Simoni – when he doesn’t like where they’re at, he will literally scruff them and lift them up to another place, usually behind him

Bad Communication

So bad, oh my god, sir, please just TALK–

while he generally keeps to himself, most of his arguments are caused by him being very uncommunicative or just having no idea how to express what exactly is bothering him

that puts him often at odds with Bardi who will question him the most. one time they nearly duked it out in the middle of the kitchen bc Bardi was handling a sharp knife with his tail and Vin got lowkey worried that he’ll hurt himself or others if he’s not careful but instead of relaying that, he said something along the lines of “you’re shit at handling a blade” and it went downhill from there

he grows a substantial bonsai collection, but the one he got from Splinter is obviously the most well taken care of (he secretly named them all)

only Cody knows bc he was passing by and heard Vin talking to someone named Eliza and when Cody took a peek it was obvious that Vin meant the bonsai he was grooming at that time

PLEASE do not mess with his plants – not only will he severely maim you, he’ll also be very upsetti >:’(

Simoni once gifted him a turtle-shaped watering can as a joke but Vin uses it religiously

the lense over his left eye is actually removable but will leave him half-blind since his left eye is pretty much an empty socket with a prosthetic replacement in it – once he’s more comfortable, he begins removing the lense when he goes to sleep so he can actually close both of his lids

works out a lot, mostly bc the routine calms him (and he likes being the one who can hold back his brothers with just one hand)

once, Cody took them to the less populated countryside to show them the world beyond the city and went stargazing at night, ever since then Vin would sometimes sneak into the simulation room just to relive that moment over and over again bc it’s been the calmest he’s ever felt

Sanzio [Dark!Raph]

nicknamed Sunny

this guy LOVES to lie in the sun – ever since they existed, they’ve mostly been confined underground so the first time he actually got the opportunity to lie down on the roof of Cody’s home and feel the sun, he’d been hooked

Professional Napper™

yknow how cats loaf a lot? yeah he does that – in general, his and Simoni’s legs are the most flexible

you’d think he’s a heavy sleeper, but he’s scared Cody shitless countless of times when the kid tried to spend time with him as quietly as possible only to pass a glance and see those glum yellow eyes already staring back at him

while he can’t retract into his shell, he’s the only one who can achieve the closest thing to it by tucking himself as tightly as possible beneath his carapace

has the worst time during shedding season since his shell is the widest, so Cody and Starlee usually help him peel off his scutes – while he doesn’t feel it, he does not like the sound of it and wears noise-cancelling headphones

despite his initial aggression, Sunny is actually the calmest of his brothers, mostly bc he doesn’t have a lot to say since everyone else seems to run on higher energy than he does, so he can appear a little slow

if you annoy him, he will literally move away from you wordlessly

like, fuck getting into a verbal altercation, if someone just up and moved away from me mid-conversation and then settle down somewhere way off, that would emotionally damage me more than anything else

a fruit fiend, Serling has begun to buy the triple amount of fruits than he usually gets just bc Sunny keeps eating them – he doesnt even peel them

his favorites are cantaloupes and he eats them like apples

dont tell anyone, but Starlee is secretly his favorite bc she treats him like a huge cat

probably the laziest of all of them, yet physically he remains the strongest

likes watching movies – he doesnt particularly favor any genre, but he does noticeably watch a lot of documentaries. Cody thinks the narration soothes him

Bardi [Dark!Donnie]

nicknamed simply B

ngl he’s a bit of a Bitch

high-strung and high-maintenance, it drives Vin and Simoni up the fucking walls

he’s the moodiest, most standoffish of all his brothers and prone to constant sarcasm – however despite complaining about it, he never stops explaining the things he’s doing when asked

bit of an Instigator, it’s better to keep him busy so he won’t get bored and get ideas on how to entertain himself – naturally, he’s a fan of soap operas, the more dramatic the better

Bardi: this is a fun show Vin: the main character’s mother just died on screen Bardi: exactly, it’s hilarious

he was the hardest nut to crack, but Starlee eventually got to him by purposefully coding a system incorrectly while he was in the lab with her and he got so fed up he took over some of the work – it’s only later that he realized he got tricked into helping

oddly enough, that warmed him up to Starlee

he appears a lot more agreeable within a lab setting, but outside of it he will freely mock Cody for not knowing how to fry an egg (he doesn’t know either, he’s a hypocrite)

clearly uncomfortable with anything that involves emotions bc he sees them as a weakness and liability since Darius used to punish them for being anything but battle-hungry monsters – it takes him quite a while to come to terms that he is allowed to feel and let others feel in turn

he’s still super bad at comforting crying people tho, he’s not good with tears and usually just kind of. taps ppl with his tail like “there, there” while looking incredibly uncomfortable

despite his waspish know-it-all attitude he does warm up to everyone in the house and becomes a little possessive – these people belong in HIS bale and his tail has gained this reflex where it would start to wrap around the person he feels is being threatened to be taken from him

he used to squint a lot, like this angry, suspicious squint until Cody figured out he needed glasses

Cody: dont you get tired from all the squinting? Bardi: thats how i look Cody: do you. i think you need glasses Bardi: i need what now

Bardi is still kind of miffed that this didnt occur to him first

he files his claws regularly to keep them sharp “just in case” but wears special tips so he wont accidentally nick anyone, not since he did so with Simoni who immediately went to snitch to Vin

Simoni [Dark!Mikey]

gets called Moni, Mon or Monmon a lot

silly guy!! little guy!! dont let him bite you

the easiest to get along with – while he is a total wildcard and mischievous, he’s super curious about the world that was withheld from them and just. dives right in

absolutely does not understand video games at first despite having vague memories of them thanks to Mikey’s genes, but one all-nighter spent with Cody trying out the newest game on the market, he’s all for it

loves mangas more thann comic books – Cody just KNOWS Mikey would scream “BLASPHEMY!”

actually really loves reading bc he can learn so much and begins to have this huge assortment of random trivia in his head that he’ll just randomly blab out when it becomes relevant – or even when it’s not

the armor on his right leg isnt actual armor but a legit prosthetic after Cody scanned them for initial health checks

he can actually roll his tongue up into his mouth but bc of its current size, he cant keep it inside – him and Cody are still looking into corrective surgeries since there is the danger of his tongue being in the way of his breathing

while he likes a good brawl with his brothers, he hightails it out when Vin and Bardi start fighting since that energy always feels like wanting to cause genuine hurt. so he usually hides away for a few hours until he thinks the coast is clear or Cody/Starlee/Sanzio manage to coax him out

the Champion of Hide n’ Seek – he hides in the most unlikely places and nobody has any idea how he even manages to fit into some of these spots

he’s the most flexible, making him very nimble and acrobatic – he absolutely loves to climb stuff and especially likes to hang from the ceiling to scare the others

do Not touch his food. it’s not even a fun thing – he’s very protective of his food since Darius saw him as the runt of the litter for being smaller and naive and thus used to feed him the least, if at all

he will freely share his food however, but it has to come from his own will

Starlee once brought a pack of little fruit jelly cups and he’s been obsessed with them ever since

while he’s way more expressive than his brothers, he still gets incredibly nervous when involved in an emotional conversation – it takes him a while to realize nobody will punish him for feeling down and expressing it

the kind of guy who will randomly throw out theoretical or philosophical questions that make you have an existential crisis for a good few hours

Simoni: is fish wet when underwater Bardi: what the fuck, obviously, you moron Simoni: yeah but it lives there, water isnt wet to them Bardi: that’s– what? Sanzio: ...im going to bed.

[sugarcryztal]

Hi i was wondering if you could do a romantic matchup for genshin! Call me C. i use they/them pronouns and I’m pan. I like being in charge but i love sitting in my room on my phone. I love taking naps to the point my friends make fun of me for it! School grades were pretty horrible but still was class president… Im a bit of a nerd who reads manga and watched one piece but I also do alot of crafty things like drawing and crocheting. I dislike fake people but i don’t get mad or hate anyone very often. Personality wise i try to make people laugh but end up embarrassing myself all the time lol! Tysm :)))

I’ll match you with. . .

Alhaitham !

- HEAR ME OUT WHEN I SAY OPPOSITES ATTRACT PLEASE…

- I imagine you both met at the akademiya when there was this big project between coworkers and he just so happened to be in your group.

- When you took charge you immediately earned his respect, which is not something easily earned! He admired your leadership and talking skills.

- Safe to say that project went swimmingly… At least he thinks.

- But even after the project he still hung out with you. He was still in denial about being in love with you though.

- Once he realizes though, his first instinct is to write a confession letter. He’s better at words through pages rather than face to face given the fact he can be so blunt.

- So one day, when you’re taking a nap at a table in the library, he ever so carefully places an envelope underneath your elbow. Later after you read it and texted him, you guys decided to take it slow.

- Moving on, HIM AS A BOYFRIEND!!!!

- You guys are definitely an indoor couple. While you’re on your phone he’s sitting or laying behind you, one arm around your waist and the other being used to hold a book in his hand to read.

- He can either read to you or with you. It doesn’t matter to him. As long as you’re there.

- While he may be more on the stoic sarcastic side of humanity, but he can show his care in other ways.

- He tidies your room for you.

- Especially your napping spots, he always makes sure to keep them clean in order to let you have a comfortable nap experience.

- Also loves the fact that you’re a napper. Gives him more time to hold you close before he gets rudely interrupted by his roommate, Kaveh, for something meaningless.

- Speaking of Kaveh, what role does he play?

- Because Alhaitham doesn’t really have the same artistic eye as you do, Kaveh is there to fill in that gap!

- At first Kaveh was hesitant to befriend you, not because of anything you did, but because you were dating Alhaitham! Of all people why him?!

- So he assumed you would be the same as Alhaitham, aloof and sarcastic. But… You weren’t! In fact you two got along pretty well once he figured out you’re also into creative hobbies!

- You and Kaveh have arranged days where you guys would meet and share drawings/ideas with each other!

- Kaveh always ends up dragging along Alhaitham to these meet ups because Alhaitham could at least show a bit of interest!

- It’s not that he wasn’t interested, he just loved watching you quietly draw or knit. It was peaceful. He loved watching you show your creations to him with confidence, to which you were always awarded with high praise.

- Alhaitham thinks you’re silly when you try to make him laugh, your foolishness feeds his amusement. Whenever you get embarrassed though, he just subtly smirks and makes a light hearted teasing remark. For the jokes of course!

- If and when you need help studying for things, Alhaitham is always there to lend a hand. Making sure you’re reading the right material, you have the correct notes, etc.

- He also is the one to make sure you don’t get distracted or go on your phone.

It was a quiet and peaceful evening, you were sitting on a comfy arm chair next to a stain glass window Kaveh recently just had installed. The soft sound of pencil dragging along paper lightly being the only noise along with the birds chirping outside. You were sketching out something for a project until you heard the front door open and close softly. You smiled to yourself, immediately recognizing the sound of a coat being shrugged off and footsteps coming closer.

He, your boyfriend Alhaitham, huffed out softly, “Move.” He gently nudged your leg with his foot. You inwardly giggled, standing up for a brief moment as he sat on the chair behind you and lowered you onto his lap. He wrapped his arms around you while leaning down to bury his nose into your hair, your scent intoxicating him with a warm fuzzy feeling of familiarity and relief to finally be home. You two stayed like that. In silence. Enjoying each other’s company.

Until the silence was rudely interrupted with, “Alhaitham let go of them! We need to go to out and look together for good stationary deals!”

Thank you for requesting!

08.21.24

[safetycar-restart]

this is very random but??? having charles on your chest so pretty and peaceful is something i would die for. he just came back home from a long training session, and he wants nothing else but to fall into your arms and be held. he just kind of falls on you, pushing you into the matress as he almost suffocates you. of course, he doesn't want that, so he adjusts himself so both of you are comfortable. he's laying on your chest with his leg draped over yours, face to the side as he looks up at you while fiddling with your fingers, silently telling you he wants them in his mouth. those big green eyes are just irresistible, so you let him. he opens his mouth for you, letting you put your fingers in it, not breaking eye contact as he does. he smiles while suckling at your fingers as a thank you, going back to lay on your chest. just sucking on your fingers, the sweet feeling of your hands combing through his hair and the sound of your breathing is enough to put him to sleep. he doesn't really let go of your fingers as he sleeps, still keeping them in his mouth. he looks so peaceful, and you would give anything to see him like this more often, and you truly wish he could get all the sleep in your arms he wants, but oh well. you just savour the moment, falling asleep too, with a really cute charles tucked into your side.

- 📓

I got this ask yesterday and not being able to answer it then was TORTURE!! But now I'm back to writing and this is the perfect ask to kick off the night.

Firstly, I am convinced that Charles is a napper. It tends to only be light sleep and only for about an hour at a time, but nevertheless he is a napper. I also think he often struggles to sleep at night? He's tried not napping all day and that doesn't help him sleep at all.

So he no longer tries to stop himself from napping. He just loves it so much? It's a very light sleep and he wakes up often, will sometimes have whole conversations with you and then fall right back asleep again.

I also don't think he enjoys napping alone? He tends to have 10 minute naps on his own just when he's very tired and he doesnt really enjoy it. But with you? He'll happily spend the whole afternoon in your arms, drifting in out and of light sleep.

Especially after workouts. When there isn't a race, Charles does more intense training sessions on Fridays and Sundays. There's an unwritten rule that you MUST be at the apartment after those workouts because he's always really tired and wanting a nice nap.

He will call you nearly in tears if you aren't there when he gets home, because where are you?? He must get his cuddles after his training session?? His nap against your chest?? It's a requirement.

So yeah, Charles naps on your chest.

The moment he gets back from his workout, he goes straight to the bathroom to shower. While he showers, you choose some comfy clothes for him? He LOVES coming out into the bathroom after his shower and seeing what things you've chosen for him to wear. It's always the comfiest clothes, his softest boxers and sleep shirts, or his oversized sweaters.

He quickly gets changed and then dives into bed. He used to be shy about it, lay down softly and try not to overwhelm you. But now that you have a whole routine and he knows you love it, he just dives onto you without any shame.

Once he's comfy, he's just SO happy. He feels so nice and warm, cuddled against your chest, fully relaxed.

He doesnt always ask to suck on your fingers, but sometimes that's exactly what he needs. He'll look up at you, leaning against your hand when you start to play with his hair cause he loves being petted.

He just starts fiddling with the fingers on your free hand, not directly asking for what he wants but he knows you'll understand what he's asking for.

You do understand, of course.

He relaxes even more when you move your hand up to his face and he takes two of your fingers into his mouth. His eyes close then, smiling slightly around your fingers.

He keeps them in his mouth as he sleeps. Sure, having to use only one hand to scroll through your phone is a little annoying, but it's so worth it to have Charles sleeping peacefully in your arms.

It's by far Charles's favourite way to spend an afternoon, especially after his workouts. He'll rush home the moment he can and immediately want naps and cuddles and forehead kisses.

I also think there's a few other things he loves you to do while he naps on you? For instance, he LOVES when you read to him. You sit up against the headboard and Charles naps between your legs, his head pillowed on your inner thigh while you read to him. He also loves the few occasions that you nap with him?

(Also, you once told Charles you were going to nap because you had been so stressed lately and Charles instantly ran over to the bedroom to offer himself as a human pillow and made sure he didn't fall asleep because his job was to let you be comfy and nap and he took that very seriously)

[wreywrites]

Tiger Shark

Part 4: The Anchor

Chapter 22

We spend what has become a normal day for us. Last week, Finnick found an old book of fairy tales and his new favorite activity is reading them with verve. He does voices, sound effects, the whole hook and sinker, and I draw. We eat last night’s noodles, then Finnick dozes off on the couch while I read about a man who spends his whole life hunting one whale.

Beck calls midafternoon to invite everyone for supper and marbles. I leave Finnick sleeping on the couch to answer the phone, drink a glass of water, write Dad a note telling him to wake us up if we aren’t awake when he gets home, and grab a blanket. I curl up on the half of the couch Finnick isn’t using.

It isn’t long before I wake up again. I’ve never been much of a napper, so I go back to where I left off in the book. I read the same paragraph four times before deciding it isn’t working. I can hear them again. I am so tired of hearing them. I squeeze my eyes shut, hoping for the best, but like so many times before, I am disappointed, surrounded by screams and slices, wide-eyed faces staring through me, the soft thump of a body-less head hitting the ground.

~~~                               ~~~                               ~~~

Finnick is holding my hands and saying something.

I blink, slowly, making myself focus, willing myself to snap out of it. It works a little.

“Annie.”

“Hi,” I say.

He doesn’t say anything back, just looks at me. I can’t read him.

“I told Beck we’d be there for supper.” The words are sluggish. They almost sound like a question, but I can’t drag myself back to reality quite enough to behave like a normal human.

“Okay. Are you sure…?”

I nod. “I have to keep doing normal things. I have to keep moving forward. Otherwise… otherwise I’ll drown, and I refuse to drown.”

He gives me the tiniest of smiles. “Are you wearing that?”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Just wondering if we were changing before supper, or if you wanted to go now and see if Beck made any appetizers.”

“Ooh, he does make good crab cakes. And I’m comfortable enough with you all to show up in this.”

~~~                               ~~~                               ~~~

Supper and games with friends always helps. At least, it helps while it’s happening, but the boisterous laughter only serves as a stark contrast to the silence that comes when we call it a night and I go home and go to bed. Faces swim in front of me. Sounds that aren’t there echo down the hall. I get up. I can’t live like this.

Finnick rolls over when I open the door. Relief floods his face. “I would kill to sleep through the night again.”

I crawl into bed. “No need for that. Just tell me a story.” I curl up against him and close my eyes. I don’t even hear him start to talk.

~~~                               ~~~                               ~~~

We snuck up on each other, all right. But now that we’re here, I don’t know what to do. Part of me still feels guilty, but I can’t dwell on that. I can’t drown in that pit again. Part of me is happy. This is great. I have the undivided attention of a man who is, in fairness, flighty and shallow, but who I know cares very deeply about the people he loves. And part of me is terrified. I have never forgotten President Snow’s threat about all the people in Four who must care about me. And I’d have to be stupid to think he doesn’t have a similar threat hanging over Finnick. The Capitol killed his parents, after all, which must make the list of people left to threaten him with substantially shorter. I’ve got a whole list—Dad, Coral and Jade, Mako’s parents, my fishing crew, Beck, Mags, Finnick—but who is on Finnick’s list? Mags, probably Beck as well, and now me. Because there’s no way these nice houses aren’t bugged. We aren’t even doing anything, but even if all the Capitol has to go off of is the sheer amount of time we spend together, I’m on the list of people whose deaths will be quietly arranged to keep Finnick Odair in line.

Logically, I care, but most of the time, the thought is far from my mind because, at least superficially, on sunny afternoons, I am happy. We lobster dive with Mags and Beck. We read, we lay on the beach, we weave, we tie knots, Finnick bakes and I draw. At night, he talks until I fall asleep, and in the morning, I hold him until he wakes up.

And I think I am getting better, until the phone rings one day and it is Casca saying he and Marius will be visiting next week in preparation for this year’s Hunger Games. Marius needs to make sure we all have clothes we can wear in the Capitol for our perfunctory appearances, or if we have the “honor” of being mentors, and Casca probably just wants to say hi to Mags in person. I was not prepared for this. Somehow, I had forgotten that you never finish the Hunger Games, you just start playing by different rules. I don’t know how long I can play. The idea of going back to the Capitol, of being in the place that caused me so much pain… I can’t help but think about how much worse I will get while there. But saying no isn’t an option.

So Marius comes, digs around in my closet, organizes outfits, leaves several new dresses, and says he’ll tell the Preps hello. I thank him, then sit on the floor of the closet. How am I supposed to go back?

~~~                               ~~~                               ~~~

The reaping creeps closer. I have been informed that I will not be a mentor this year because of my “unreliable mental health.” Which seems like a fair assessment. Finnick is quite sure that he will, once again, be a mentor. I don’t argue.

When the day arrives, Casca comes from the Capitol bearing gifts: a new shirt for Finnick (oh the irony), a shawl for Mags, a dress for me. The Capitol certainly keeps us looking better than everyone else in the district.

I have to sit on the stage with the other victors. It’s weird, being up here, looking at everyone else, when, for a significant chunk of my life, I was down there looking up, hoping it wasn’t my name. Now it’s already been my name, and I am sitting here waiting to see who will try to follow in my footsteps. Except I drift right before they call the names, and it’s a good thing Finnick and I said our goodbyes this morning, because the next thing I remember is Beck helping me sit down at my kitchen table and pouring me a glass of lemonade.

“I know you don’t remember a thing, but you were marvelous.”

I stare at him. “How…?”

He shrugs. “You kinda slumped a little bit and stared out over everyone, and when we all stood to leave the stage, you followed along, but you weren’t there. We could see it in your eyes. So I brought you home.”

“Thanks.”

Beck nods. “You’re welcome. Our train leaves tomorrow morning.”

When I don’t respond, he clarifies. “All the victors have to go to the Capitol for the Games. No exceptions.”

“Oh.”

“We tried to get you out of it, but… well, it didn’t work. But I have appointed myself your caretaker, and none of the victors whose opinions mean anything will hold it against you if you can’t handle it. Every single one of us came out… different. It’s nothing to be ashamed of.”

~~~                               ~~~                               ~~~

I have a full-blown meltdown on the train. At least, that’s what Beck tells me later, when I wake up in the Victor Center, where the non-mentor victors live.

“It was one of the few times in my life I’ve actually been glad to have Manta around. You were on the fight,” he smiles, drumming his fingers on the table. Keep this up and they might let you stay home.

I don’t have the energy to respond. I just want to go home and never set foot in the Capitol again.

~~~                               ~~~                               ~~~

We go to the Parade of Tributes that evening, then a banquet afterwards for all the victors. It is a loud affair, with lots of laughing, but I can see through the guise. Everyone, or at least almost everyone, feels the way I do. We are all tired and disgusted and on our best behavior to protect those we love.

I remember something Finnick said the day before the reaping. We were eating breakfast and, without preamble, he said, “Before I leave… Don’t judge me too harshly. They killed my parents, and I’m not going to let that happen to anyone else I care about.”

I wonder how many of these people have had family members killed, how many pushed back one too many times, how many said no the first time the Capitol sold them to the highest bidder. How many have blood on their hands that isn’t from inside the arena? Most importantly, how long will it be until I do as well? How long will the Capitol give me to get over what they’re still calling victor’s remorse?

Beck and I stay until a handful of other victors have left, then make our exit.

“You never want to be the first one to leave at your age. When you get to be old like me, it’s more excusable, but they expect you younger ones to enjoy the parties.”

“I’m not sure how to do that.”

“Believe it or not, it gets easier. You make friends. And it’s better to be there than…” he trails off. There is a strange look in his eyes. It occurs to me that I don’t know Beck that well, just that he won the Twenty-Second Hunger Games, Finnick and Mags both like him, and he’s always been nothing but good to me. He has no family that I know of, which makes me wonder how many times he said no.

“You know they have to, right?” Beck says. “I just… don’t want it changing how you look at Finnick. He needs you as much as you need him.”

I nod. Knowing about it doesn’t make me feel any better.

“You only narrowly avoided it yourself.”

Good for me. But in the back of my mind I’m wondering… how many times would I have said no?

~~~                               ~~~                               ~~~

The days pass in a haze of Capitol citizens wanting to meet me, take pictures with me, tell me how much they loved my interview shoes or victory dress. Our building is apparently a money-making tool for the Capitol. Something like “Your victors are right in here, and you can meet them, but you have to pay to open the door.” Most of them I don’t care about, but on the fourth day of this miserable, zoo-like existence, I am sitting with Beck and Beau from District Ten, who won the first Quarter Quell. I am starting to see what Beck means about making friends. The victors who don’t have adoring fans with them are sitting in little groups, generally of similarly-aged people, chatting and eating. It’s a surprisingly friendly environment. I am looking for the people closest to my age, trying to decide if I should go make friends, when I hear a shout across the atrium.

“Annie!”

I don’t immediately recognize the voice, but the following call of “Cassia, slow down!” clues me in. I look toward the shouts and see Megary Fallon practically leaping out of the way of a small child who looks to be the very definition of an unstoppable force. I can’t help but smile as Cassia dodges around a man from Seven who Beck introduced me to and whose name I’ve forgotten, who is talking to a pair of older victors from Two. And then she reaches me.

Cassia wears the biggest smile I’ve ever seen and a beautiful recreation of the dress I wore for my Victory Banquet. She hugs me without hesitation.

Beau chuckles and he and Beck move a few seating areas over as Titus Vickers catches up to Cassia.

“Sweetheart, you can’t just run off like that.”

“But we’re not on the street! We’re inside, and I know Annie, and Megary, and Augustus, and-”

“Cassia, we’ll have this talk later.”

She has the good sense to hang her head a little before returning her attention to me. “I’m sorry you were sick. I wanted to see you on your tour.”

I’m not sorry I was sick. I almost wish I was still sick, but I’m not about to tell her that. “Oh me too! I was looking forward to eating more carrot cake with you. But I had some very good doctors and I’m better now.” Lies. Well, not about the carrot cake. I could go for some of that.

“I’m glad,” Cassia says. “And I’m glad I get to see you today.”

“I’m glad I get to see you too. And I love your dress!”

Cassia beams. “Thanks. It was my birthday present, and I wanted to wear it today to show you. Do you have a new dress for the party this year?”

I nod. “It’s the same color as the old one though.”

“That’s okay, you look very pretty in that color. And this way we’ll still match!” She is bouncing up and down, barely containing her excitement.

“So you’ll be at the party to eat carrot cake with me?”

“Of course! Won’t we Dad?”

Titus nods. “We wouldn’t miss it for the world. Though I’m not feeling good about my odds for picking the winner this year. I’ve done four in a row and my luck’s got to run out eventually.”

“Well you can’t win them all.” I want to tell him how shallow and uncaring this is. He gambles with lives, but never his own. I doubt I could even explain it to him though. There is too much of a divide between the Capitol and the districts, too much about being a tribute and a victor that I could never explain because it has to be experienced. Titus Vickers and the rest of the sponsors and gamblers are the only people who ever actually win the Hunger Games. It must be nice to not have to face any consequences, to sleep through the night without thinking of the lives you’ve taken.

“Any guesses? I don’t suppose you know Four’s tributes this year?”

I shake my head. “Sorry. I used to live on the same street as the girl, but we didn’t really know each other. Her parents are both fishmongers, so she’s probably pretty handy with a knife. I couldn’t really tell you though.”

We chat about fish markets for a while; apparently Titus is investing in the shrimp trade and wants the inside details, which I am happy to give. This is something I can talk about all day, confidently, fearlessly. But all too soon, Titus says he must get Cassia home for her piano lessons. He shakes my hand, thanks me for the advice. Cassia gives me another hug and makes me promise to save room to eat carrot cake with her at the Victory Banquet.

They are barely out the door when I find myself with more company.

“So Cassia likes you too?” Megary Fallon drops onto the couch opposite me. “She sent me my little toy to knock down the ruins. I owe her so much.”

Next to me, Augustus Braun sits with a smile. “I don’t think she had any part in getting Titus to sponsor me, but it’s so nice to see a real fan every year.”

Megary laughs. “A much-needed break from all the people trying to sleep with you, I’m sure. What was it last year, ten? A dozen?”

“An even thirteen.”

I am staring, first at one, then the other, as they go back and forth. Did they mean to sit here?

Augustus answers the question for me. “So Annie, I hear you’re drawing now. And I regret to inform you that it’s only a matter of time before people are begging you for nude portraits.”

I stare at him.

“Though, you’ve got Finnick. I imagine he’s already asked. Wait!” Megary’s eyes light up. “You haven’t already drawn him, have you?”

That snaps me into action. “What? No! No, I’m terrible at people. I just do animals.”

“What is man but a featherless chicken?” Augustus says, staring philosophically into the distance.

Megary rolls her eyes. “I think you mean hairless monkey, but okay, oh cavalier one.”

“Where is your mentor? I need to have words with her about your attitude.”

“Probably trying to train the poor kids we got this year. Not a chance, either of them. How about yours?”

“Oh, you know Gloss, always the heartbreaker. I’m sure he’s on a date.”

“I meant your tributes, not your mentor. It’s a good thing you’re pretty—you don’t have much else going for you.”

“Rest assured, the next time I see Raela, I am telling her how rude you have been today.” Augustus looks back at me with a friendly smile. “But enough about us, tell us about yourself.”

My confusion must show, because Megary speaks before I have the chance. “When you’re a new victor, everyone else already has friends. So this idiot and I keep each other company and we’re willing to adopt you.”

“Oh.”

“Unless you don’t want us, which is understandable, given my delightful colleague’s aggression,” Augustus says cheerfully.

“No, I… I could use some friends. Unfortunately, I had to leave mine at home.”

They both grow sober and Megary says, “I wouldn’t complain about that. It’s nice to have normal friends. People who haven’t killed other people. As much as I like my victor friends, I like my regular friends at home too.”

Augustus nods. “They keep me going.”

“Isn’t it hard to talk to them?” I ask. I hope it isn’t just me with this problem.

“Very,” Augustus says. “Almost impossible sometimes. But… I can’t have a normal life. I’m a victor, and the Capitol loves me. My friends, on the other hand, can. They can get married, have kids, have a normal job, walk down the street without people staring. It’s nice to know that that still exists, even if I can’t have it.”

I feel like a weight has been lifted from my chest. “I thought it was just me.”

Megary laughs. “Which part?”

“All of it. Not that Four really goes crazy about seeing our victors in the fish market or anything-”

Augustus chuckles. “Odair he is.”

Megary giggles in response.

“-but people still look at me differently. And I remember enough other Games to know if I have kids they’re going to get reaped. And getting married just feels like asking for trouble…”

They nod.

Megary says quietly, “Even if I wasn’t worried about my hypothetical kids, I wouldn’t get married. They’re holding enough over me already, I don’t need a husband in the mix. And I can’t imagine what it would be like for my husband while I’m doing a stint in the Capitol and…” she trails off.

Augustus nods. “They told me I can’t get married until they decide I’m old enough.”

“What does that even mean?” Megary raises an eyebrow.

“The same way Gloss can’t get married until they give him permission. It would ruin his reputation, and even in the Capitol there are a few people with qualms about sleeping with a married man.”

“Have you had this talk with him?”

“Yeah,” Augustus nods. “It was the first talk we had when we got back home after I won. He sat me down and told me what to expect, and he may not be a genius, but he’s been right so far.”

My silence must be starting to be suspicious, because Megary turns to me. “Did you get this talk? Was I the only one who didn’t?”

I shake my head. “I did not.”

“So Finnick, who knows the system better than anyone, didn’t think to warn you about what you’d get to do for the next five or ten years? I know he’s a little… Guess I’m not sure what the word is, but I didn’t think he-” Megary stops. “Why are you here?”

“Because I won last year?”

“Yeah, I know, but you’re here, not in the Tribute Center. You’re not a mentor. And everyone gets to be a mentor their first year.”

I don’t answer right away. Augustus is looking at me, puzzling it out, but he doesn’t reach a conclusion quickly enough for Megary.

“Who’s Finnick sleeping with to keep you tucked out of the way?”

I blink. That was… abrupt.

Before I can respond though, Augustus comes to the rescue. “Whoever Finnick is sleeping with, it’s a him problem. You weren’t sick, were you? Whatever happened in your interview, it’s still happening.”

I nod.

“Even they draw the line somewhere. ‘Mentally unstable’ is your ‘get out of prostitution’ pass. And they can’t have you being a mentor because it could go very, very badly.” Augustus is looking closely at me. “You’ve got a pass.”

Half a smile crosses Megary’s face. “I wish I’d thought of going crazy.”

“You think I enjoy living like this?” I hiss. “I can’t sleep at night, and if it’s too quiet I have flashbacks to the arena to the point where I’m dead to the world, sometimes for hours, and-”

“I know,” Megary says. “I’m not saying I envy your mental state, I just wouldn’t mind having a good excuse to not get sold and passed around every year until they decide I’m too old and ugly.”

“Oh don’t worry about it, you’ll never be too ugly for me,” Augustus winks at her.

She snorts. “Don’t say that too loud or they’ll add you to my list.”

“And threaten you with what? The Capitol’s not gonna kill me. I’m too pretty for that.”

“They won’t, but I might.” Augustus and I both jump at the voice behind us.

Megary laughs. “How was your day?”

I don’t know what emotion I feel when Gloss sits down next to me, but it isn’t entirely good.

“Fine, fine. Got a sponsor, if nothing else.” He begins inspecting his fingernails.

“Is that allowed?” Augustus seems genuinely curious. At first I’m disgusted by his cavalier attitude, but then I realize that if he has to sleep with these people anyway, he might as well get something out of it.

“It’s not not allowed.”

“Never took you for a loop-holer,” Augustus says. “You, on the other hand,” he turns to Megary.

She is smiling a wily grin already. “My dear Augustus, how do you think I got that medicine?”

“It seems like cheating. No, not like cheating, like betting on your own tribute.”

“I’m not a mentor this year,” Gloss digs out whatever was underneath his fingernail and flicks it away, “So it’s fine. I’m sure she’ll just present it as her idea, and we’ll all move on none the wiser.”

Augustus raises an eyebrow. “Awfully confident of you.”

“You that good?” Megary gives Gloss a once over.

Gloss rolls his eyes. “Wouldn’t you like to know.”

“You’ve never offered.”

“Took a bit of a confidence blow last year.” Gloss leans back, stretches, and puts an arm over the back of the couch and around my shoulders. “Turns out there are some who can resist my charm.”

I give him a sideways glance, eyebrows raised.

He winks back. “Offer stands.”

“I can’t believe you’re still hung up on me. What if I’ve moved on?”

“There is a recorded interview in which you said that I am, and I quote, ‘the most beautiful man alive.’”

“Actually if you play the interview back you will find that I did not say that—it was Mako.” It takes a great deal of concentration not to get hung up on this. “But he may have been quoting me…”

Megary laughs. “I think I need to find me a victor to marry. I like the banter. And really, what are they gonna do? Kill him?”

“Don’t ask. There’s always something. Besides,” Augustus looks pointedly around the atrium, “your options are me, a bunch of old men, and some drunks.”

“Finnick Odair.”

Gloss is wheezing with laughter. “Good luck with that! He’s not one to settle down any time ever, and if he did, she’d have to be something else. Or maybe Mags’s granddaughter who he promised Mags on her deathbed he would take care of.”

I snort. “If Mags had grandkids, I could see that happening.”

“He’d probably take her name too. Finnick Flanagan,” Gloss laughs again. “Now that’s all I want out of life. Everything else that happens will always be a disappointment.”

****

****

PREVIOUS CHAPTER

NEXT CHAPTER

Tag List:

@avoxrising @snow-dragon-rider @anakins-ride-or-die

[robuttsinyourthighs]

Maybe some HCs about KnockOut and BreakDown with a sparkling that's fast and shiny who loves to try and race around the Nemesis

Knock Out had been a little off lately and Breakdown couldn't quite place why. He wondered if it was because he had been left alone with their sparkling more often ever since Breakdown got the okay to resume regular field work overseeing the mines.

"What's got you all sour in the face, doc?" He leaned close to his favorite medic, catching him pouting to himself instead of working on a new drill attachment.

"JUST... I don't know... I feel like... I thought I would be more of an influence on the baby." Breakdown didn't quite understand why he was so upset? It sounded silly, but when he saw the look on his partner's face he couldn't laugh.

"Why do you think that you don't have any influence on him?" He looked to their happily burbling bundle of joy as he toddled around within the confines of his gated off play area.

"He hardly lets me hold him, he reacts FAR more happily to you when you come in than when I do, and he never fusses for you during feeding time, but he hardly wants me to hold him EVER... I mean look at him, Breakdown! He looks like a mini you; blue body, orange face, clearly going to be a heavier frame type..." Breakdown carefully pulled the medic close to him, allowing the other to huff and cling to him.

"Don't be like that... He's uh... He's got your cute audials?" Knock Out growled half-heartedly. "And I noticed his servos are coming in more and looking a lot like yours. Probably going to have your amazing medical skills." Knock Out hummed loudly and pulled back a little to look up at Breakdown.

"I think... Maybe I'm just... Worried he'll be so much like you, and only want to be around you if he has nothing in common with me... I don't want to get jealous of you stealing all his love." Breakdown chuckled finally and kissed Knock Out's forehead.

"I don't think that'll happen. He'll always love you! After all, you're part of him just as much as I am." Knock Out opened his mouth to protest when they both heard a noisy clatter come from the sparkling's play area. The mini fencing had been unsecured and toppled and the door to the medical bay opened and shut immediately after.

Both of them leapt into action, sparks racing as they feared someone had snatched their sparkling. There was no way he could toddle off THAT fast! They heard a squeal of rubber down a hallway and ran towards it, turning the corner as a pair of vehicons were falling.

"WHICH WAY?!" they shouted in unison, the drones pointing the way. The duo jumped over the felled mechs and transformed to try and catch up. A door would slide open and they would slam their brakes, shifting into bipedal form to check and have someone point them in a new direction. How were they still not seeing this sparkling-napper?!

:Lord Megatron!: Knock Out sent a com to their leader. :I need authorization to lock down the Nemesis! Our sparkling is-:

:I am well aware, Knock Out. That won't be necessary. Come to the bridge and collect him.. NOW.: He growled his order and cut the link. Knock Out filled Breakdown in that the little one had been found and they both rushed to the bridge, ready to beat the paint off of whoever dared try to snatch their poor little bitlet.

"He's probably terrified, Breakdown!" Knock Out huffed and fret more the closer they got to the door.

"As long as he's in safe hands he'll be fine." They keyed the door open to Starscream yelling.

"NOT YET HE'S MAKING A BREAK FOR IT!"

Both mechs stood right in the doorway to block whoever it was, only to have something smack against their lower legs and bounce back.

Four furiously spinning wheels greeted them, along with tiny revs from the motor inside. Knock Out was the first to snap out of his confusion and knelt down, carefully scooping the tiny car up and watching in fascination as it rumbled and wiggled it's tires. He knew that deep blue paint and those red accents.

"How?? We were right there with him and, I.. I didn't even hear him CHANGE?? Then he was gone??"

"He's certainly a quick little devil," Starscream muttered as he walked past them, wings flicking in irritation. Soundwave stalked silently up to the pair and pinged them with new schematics for a more secure play area they could set up in a new room.

"Thanks to Soundwave's quick thinking he was able to ground bridge him from the hallway right to us," Megatron sounded strangely amused. Knock Out and Breakdown came into the bridge more to better speak with him.

"Who had him?" Breakdown asked sternly.

"No one had him," he huffed. "He was simply fast. Too fast for anyone to just snatch him up," he started to laugh a low deep rumble in his chest. Soundwave radiated annoyance when Megatron asked him to "play it again".

The main screen queued up a security recording showing the tiny blue car zipping past and startling vehicons into falling, slamming into Starscream's ankles so fast and hard it had knocked him right on his aft, and finally Soundwave bridging the little one to him but still struggling to grab him with his cables. The sparkling ran so many laps around poor Soundwave he'd wrapped his cables around himself and deployed Lazerbeak to save himself before he fell on him.

Only with the symbiote free and flying overhead did the tiny car stop and transform onto his stubby little hands and knees, cooing and squealing as he tried to stand up to make grabby hands at the symbiote. Megatron was THOROUGHLY amused and the pair were relieved that they wouldn't be punished for their little one's first vehicle mode jaunt.

After they were safely back in their own habsuite and the doors properly secured did Knock Out start to coo and baby talk their little one. "Look at YOU! YOU'RE SO FAST! YOU'RE A NATURAL! Oh, you're going to LOVE racing! Yes you are!" Breakdown chuckled and put an arm around the red medic's waist, giving him a kiss on the cheek and smiling at their excitedly squealing child.

"Well would ya look at that? Guess I was right. He does take a little after his sire after all." Knock Out was pleased to know. He'd definitely have his hands full now. No wonder the little one didn't want to be held. He'd much rather test his wheels instead!

[elsanna-shenanigans]

August Contest Submission #16: The Transfer Student

Words: ca. 2,000 Setting: Modern AU Lemon: No CW: Bullying, arranged marriage, mild angst, talk of suicide

Elsa was a new student on Arendelli High in Tokyo, Japan. Despite her constant reminders to her parents that she didn’t need their help picking school, they had persisted, Elsa had had to give in eventually. The school was what Elsa expected it would be, full of very antagonistic, rich, spoiled brat students. She quickly rose to popularity which she kind of expected. Not only was she the heir of a well-known, rich CEO and granddaughter of a corporate empire, she was also conventionally seen as attractive, which had both perks and cons. One of the cons was being constantly bombarded by the popular kids as they tried to get her into one of their ‘exclusive clubs’, which she had to persistently decline.

Which earned her the title of ‘Snow Queen’ in no time at all. “As usual,” she sighed. “It’s like some sort of a tradition.”

  This time she wasn’t going to just give up. She didn’t hate them, per se. She just couldn’t stand them. They were wildly immature, highly superficial if her overhearing their very loud gossip in the stall was any indication, back when she happened to be in one after helping to clean the bathroom. They also bullied the only person she actually wanted to get close to.

See, Elsa had a secret, just like everybody else, but this secret she cannot let anyone know. Not her parents nor her friends. Not if she can help it.

  She’s into the same sex,

swings the other way,

flower napper,

gay for girls,

  You get the idea.

  The girl named Anna was from her class too, she was really smart and got a scholarship to the school, so she wasn’t from money, as Elsa heard from one of the gossips. That was why a lot of the superficial ones bullied her. Elsa fancied that the real reason they were so harsh on Anna was that she was more beautiful than them and they felt threatened by her beauty, it might actually be true. Elsa once bumped into her ‘accidentally’ at lunch and was about to talk to her and maybe invite her to coffee but the redhead only apologized profusely and excused herself.

  Elsa felt guilty after that. She felt like she should be doing something to change this situation, she feared that the bullying might get to her one day. She wanted to do something for the girl so despite her hesitance she contacted someone she can even remotely consider her ‘friend.’

  “Yellow?” Elsa sneered as soon as she heard his voice.

“Oh, Elsa I can hear your sneer from here, if you need something from me then you would have to be a bit nicer.”

Elsa conceded and breathed in. “Fine. I need your help with something… and yes I can hear your grin reaching from ear to ear here too.”

“Oh, dear Elsa. What might this help be? Is it something your Mommy and Daddy cannot solve for you?” Hans replied.

Elsa snapped at that comment. “You bring up my parents and I hang up,” she threatened.

Hans knew that she meant it. “Alright Snow Queen, tell me what has got your ire this time.”

“It’s not a what, it’s a who.”

“Already? You just moved in the school.” “It’s not that!” Elsa said, flabbergasted the situation that she was in. “I…I want to court someone.”

“Oh, so it’s that,” Hans replied, seemingly reminiscent.

  Elsa doesn’t blame him. Sometime they forget that they’re more similar than they think, since Hans is gay too.

  See here: Hans and Elsa were to be betrothed, and so both of them had hired investigators to follow each other and find a reason to cancel the marriage. This was how they had discovered each other’s secret which, oddly enough, is what got them to keep the arrangement, since if it came to it, they’d let each have more leeway or even a chance to pick who they really love. They decided they are both fine with that kind of arrangement since eventually they’ll give in to their parents’ request and they would rather end up with someone they can negotiate with.

  “Can’t you just…I don’t know. Charm her or something, like talk about how you’re the daughter of great CEO and have a corporate empire or something?”

“Hans,” Elsa said, as she held the bridge of her nose, she’s just basically done. “I’m not like you, and it doesn’t work like that.”

“Hey, just throwing around ideas out here.” Hans defended himself. “Also it worked for me.”

“Well, I’m not like you. Prince Charming!” Elsa pointed out.

“Yeah, I wonder why? Miss Snow Queen!” Hans retorted. “Have you tried the ‘Accidental bump method?’”

“Yeah, and it didn’t work.” Elsa sighed, remembering how much it hadn’t worked. “It even kinda backfired.”

“Oof, a tough one huh. When did you get so picky?” Hans quipped.

Elsa sneered again. “I thought we’re here to, I dunno, help me court someone? Not judge my choices?”

“I know, I know. Sheesh…” Hans attempted to diffuse the situation. “Have you tried giving her a flower?”

“Ha Ha, that’s really stereotypical,” Elsa said.

Hans continued. “Look, Elsa. The goal here is to court someone, you kinda do need it to be stereotypical in a way or, if you prefer, predictable.”

“But it’s too obvious,” Elsa argued.

“That’s kind of the point.” Hans laughed. Then he was quiet for a while.

  Elsa thought about what Hans said. He did, kinda, have a really good point, Elsa had to admit. If only he used that brain of his to do good things instead of just goofing around and causing mischief then she might actually like him, not too much though, Elsa still for sure preferred girls.

  “Elsa, I gotta go,” Hans said a minute later. “Goodbye.”

  “Goodbye, and thank you,” Elsa replied. It was at these times that Elsa was happy that she let him stick around.

  Elsa followed Hans’ advice and went to buy flowers. She would have to be careful about this, else she might just be at the bullying end and she couldn’t help Anna that way. Though she does think there can be sort of a camaraderie in that, she prefers if it didn’t happen. Not if she can help it.

  What she decided to go with was yellow crocus flowers, as they were apparently a great symbol of hope and joyfulness. Which was definitely the message she was looking to send. Winter will indeed end, spring will come again and life will go on.

  She arranged them in a vase with water to keep it fresh and left it at Anna’s desk as they were going to class next morning.

  However, Elsa didn’t get quite the expected reaction. Yes, students were talking about it when they saw it but they had sort of a look of dread in their face instead of curiosity and intrigue which worried Elsa. That can’t be good but it’s not as if she can undo it now. She needs to know what’s wrong, then it came to her. It was sort of a slow realization.

“What if the culture around flowers here in Japan is vastly different compared to where I’m from?” she thought and the gears on her head started to turn. She leaned in a bit to the other table and calmed herself enough to listen in to their conversation.

  “Do you think the Gyaru girls did it?”

“No even they wouldn’t stoop this low.”

“What kind of asshole would tell someone to kill theirself?”

  That was the last straw for Elsa, she is still confused as to how this all worked it but if it was bad enough that even the gyaru girls won’t do it then she’s royally fucked. She was going to remove it now no matter what, reputation be damned. Then Anna walked in and headed directly to her table, on when she reached the table did Anna notice the flowers. It was like scalding hot water being poured on her when Elsa watched Anna’s expression shift from bad to worse.

  Anna went running out of the room. Elsa followed quickly after, determined to comfort her properly this time. Anna was fast walking and then running and Elsa almost couldn’t keep up with her. This was a very unfortunate day to wear heals. Elsa followed her to the rooftop expecting to see her sulking there, but what she saw was something else.

  Anna was on the edge of the school rooftop, she had her shoes off and she looked like she was about to… no… nooo… please don’t do it, please don’t jump.

  “Hey, don’t do it, please.” It just came out of Elsa’s mouth without her permission, but she was glad that it did.

“Let me be,” Anna replied, her voice full of resolution.

“It was me, I was the one who put the flower with the vase there. Whatever it meant, it was not my intention.” Anna looked at her like she had grown two heads but Elsa kept going, she had Anna’s attention now and that’s good. She’s also slowly getting closer to her as she spoke. To pull her away if needed.

  “I didn’t… I just wanted it to be your hope in this trying times. I wanted to be…”

  “You’re not just making this up to make me feel better?” Anna asked, still guarded.

  “If you want to, I can show you exactly where I purchased the flowers and the vase but I can’t really do that unless you get down from there first.” Anna seemed to realized she was still outside the protective fence of the rooftop, she seemed to blush at the realization. Must be from the height, Elsa thought. Anna finally moved to get to a safer location and Elsa helped her. After she was safe and sound, Anna grabbed at Elsa’s hand. For the first time since Elsa got to the roof, Anna finally met her gaze.

  “Then why didn’t you just tell me?”

Elsa looked into Anna’s eyes, she didn’t find any blame or sarcasm there, it was just genuine curiosity.

  “I tried and I failed the first time, I guess…I should have just tried again.” The situation of the earlier encounter was finally getting to Elsa, crashing down on her like huge waves on an unassuming shore, she holds on tighter to Anna’s hand “I’m just, I’m so sorry.”

  “It’s okay.” Anna traces soothing circles on Elsa’s hand.

“But I almost killed you,” Elsa says to Anna. Anna reaches for her to remove the tear that fell from Elsa’s eyes.

“I’m also being stupid, to be fair, I wasn’t in a great place but still it’s a stupid move. I’m not saying you’re off the hook, just saying it wasn’t just you.” Anna patted Elsa’s back and it worked wonders. She breathed as she hears that and despite herself, she felt a bit of relief.

  “What did it mean anyway? The flowers and the vase on the table?” Elsa asked after she had retrieved her handkerchief to clear her nose with. Her back turned to Anna as a polite gesture.

  “It means the whole class wants you to be dead. It’s like sending someone a coffin while they are still alive.” Anna replied.

  “Oh…that’s,” Elsa started to say, “kind of morbid.” she thought outloud and Anna nodded to her in agreement.

  “I think I should be more careful about this, culture difference and knowing the norms in this place.” Elsa concluded, still a bit guilt-ridden over what happened.

  “It’s fine, you were new so you didn’t know. Now you know what not to do next time.” Anna replied to Elsa, and then she flashed a smile to her direction, “Like I said, still not off the hook though,” she reminded her. “You still need to make it up to me.” Elsa didn’t get it at first but when she did, she blushed profusely. She didn’t want to misunderstand more things but she’ll be damned if she doesn’t take this opportunity “So uhh…coffee?”

  “Yeah, I wouldn’t pass on that, but I prefer hot chocolate.”

“Me too.”

[quirkykayleetam]

The Cat-Napping Rescue

TW for Broken Bones and a nightmare.  The rest is all fluffy Hurt/Comfort!  A kid with a passion for picking up strays decides he’s adopted a generally beat-up mercenary too.

Branigran Leahy’s breath came in short, pained huffs that misted in the chill air before him.  Concentrate, he told himself.  Concentrate on breathing.  Concentrate on putting one foot in front of the other, hiding his limp as best he could from ordinary passers-by.  Broken.  It had to be broken.  If it wasn’t broken on first impact, it certainly was now.  He needed a place to rest, somewhere he could stay for at least 24 hours.  His regular hotels wouldn’t do and he didn’t have a safe house in this area.  So he kept walking.  One foot.  Wince.  Breath.  Another foot.  Breath.  Concentrate, Bran.  Concentrate.

The ex-Irish ranger stumbled back painfully as a brown-headed six-year-old with a half-open backpack canonballed into his (luckily) good leg.

“Bran, Bran, Bran, you’ll never believe what happened today!  I lost a tooth!  Well, that was a few weeks ago… But TODAY…”

While Bran quickly lost the gist of Theo’s words, he let small, sticky fingers pull him forward towards a repainted stoop.  Bran didn’t mean to stop.  He meant to let Theo run inside to the promise of after-school treats while he continued his shuffle to gods only knew where.  Moira’s raised eyebrow made him pause.

“Uh huh,” it told him.  “You just try to hobble along on two compound fractures and see that I don’t drag you back here by your collar and tie you down without painkillers.”

He did not want to risk it.

Instead, Bran staggered toward her.  Ducking his head, he bit back his most colorful swears.  Maybe it was the exhaustion talking, but he couldn’t think of anything more painful than climbing that set of stairs.

When he reached the top, Bran wanted nothing more than to rest his head against the door, but Moira stopped him with an outstretched palm.  Bran handed over his weapon’s belt without question.  She stuck her hand out again.  That made him smile.  She remembered.  Balancing unsteadily on his good leg, Bran pulled out the four knives he kept hidden in his boots.  Then Moira didn’t just move aside.  She took one look at Bran’s ashen face and shifted to him.  Taking on half his weight, she half-carried him inside towards her shit excuse for a medical kit and Theo’s excited talking.

Branigan went through his mission’s intel time and time again.  It was spotty, but that was to be expected with the corporation he was working with.  He didn’t pick the jobs that were safe.  He picked the ones that were worth doing.  After scouting his infiltration spot for days, Bran didn’t just have one plan; he had 20.  He was supposed to retrieve a piece of intel from the building, exit as quietly as possible, and deliver the “package” to his employers in another part of the city before disappearing and laying low until they deemed it was safe.  Of course, no one could tell him where in the building the intel was.  That was, as they put it, “part of what they paid him the big bucks for.”

Everything went according to plan.  Everything, that is, until the intel was nowhere to be found.  Rubbing his forehead with the back of a sweaty palm, Bran subtly tipped off the guards he had skillfully avoided until that point.  It was a last ditch play; if he could see what seemingly mundane space they tried to protect, maybe he could find what he was looking for.  Luckily, it worked.  Unluckily, it sent Branigan careening out one of his least favorite escape routes: a perilous dive from a high, narrow slit of a window onto a rooftop two stories below.  Bran reorganized his timetable midair.  He calculated how precious little time he had to jog blocks of back alley ways to the drop site.  He hit slate tile hard and rolled just too late to realize the fault in his trajectory.  His ankle hit the ground wrong, collapsing under his weight and the fall.  Snap!  Branigan yelled wildly as fire shot through him.

“Breathe!” he admonished himself, prying open his eyes only to see popcorn ceiling.  Yellow floral drapes.  And a very heavy six-year-old pressing agonizingly into his newly splintered leg.

“Hey mate,” he said, nearly biting his tongue in an effort to shift the kid sideways without igniting more fire in his wound.  “What...uh...what’cha doing there?”

In response, Theo squeezed his eyes tight and let out a loud whirring sound deep in his throat.

Branigan blinked.  He blinked again.  Nothing in 29 years of his life could have prepared him for this.  He immediately abandoned his attempts to get Theo off his broken leg, afraid the KID was broken.

“Theo?” he said as softly as he could.  “You’re gonna have to help me out here.”

The kid in question rolled his eyes.

“I’m a cat.”

“Well, you sound like a rusted airplane,” Bran said, finally managing to shift Theo’s weight off his break.  “Is this your way of telling me you want some milk?  Because I’m a bit waylaid at the moment.”

“Nooooo!”  Theo rolled his eyes.  Damn, the kid had big eyes.  “We got this book.  It’s really big.  Almost as big as...as a lamp when it’s all stood up.  And it’s got every cat breed ever in it!  THAT’S why I was purring!”

Branigan failed to see the connection.

“When cats purr, it vibrates their bodies all special.  That helps make pain go away and heal things like, like broken bones and stuff.”  Theo looked at Bran from under his lashes.  “Mom works real hard to make you better.  I wanted to help too.”

How could Bran resist that?

The mercenary operative reached down to ruffle Theo’s hair, mussing it up as best he could until the kid started laughing.

“So, what kind of cat are you?”

“I’m a Bengal!  They like to swim, just like me!”

“You got any Irish cats in that big book?”

Theo scrunched up his nose, then shook his head.

“No...but you can be an Irish Wolfhound!  They’re long and scraggly like you!” Theo dropped his voice to a whisper.  “Just don’t tell mom.”

“Why not?”

Theo giggled.  “Dogs aren’t allowed on the couch.”

“As Theo well knows from a very recent, very serious talk with our landlord,” Moira said, stalking into the room, “no cats or dogs or birds or mice or non-human creatures of any kind are allowed anywhere in this apartment.”

“Mooooom,” Theo complained.  Moira merely raised a finger.

“But since Mr. Branigan is not a stray and I have already tested him for rabies, I supposed he can stay the night under one condition.”

Both the boy and the mercenary turned towards Moira attentively.

“That is that he does not pee on the couch.”

With that, she fell forward into a tickle fight with Theo as he complained “Moooom, that was only ONE TIME!”  Bran didn’t even notice as the jumble of motion at his feet jostled his leg.  It was the first time he had seen Moira smile.

The next morning, Branigan Leahy woke before dawn.  He silently recovered his weapons from Moira’s top shelf and limped toward the door.  Stumbling down the stairs in the predawn air, he realized he had been wrong the night before.  Going up to that door was nowhere near as painful as leaving it behind.

Tagging the ‘Nappers (Let me know if you want to be added or taken off):  @softazelma, @undersketchdraws, @redwingedwhump, @friendly-neighborhood-frog, @yeetiestofyoots, @aquaace, @blue-flare10, @straight-to-the-pain, @abouttemperedgrace.

[crimsonimagines]

Jessica NSFW Alphabet

Warnings: NSFW (duh), very descriptive, well I’m gonna go to hell now

I know a lot of people hate Jessica but honestly I love her. Girl gets dragged through a window, falls like over 30 feet into the mines AND lives, then almost takes Matt’s head off with a shovel. She also still has all seven of her limbs.

A = Aftercare (what are they like after sex)

Jessica loves to cuddle after sex, curling into you and letting her fingers trail along your skin. She talks with you quietly until you both drift off to sleep.

B=Body Part (their fav body part of theirs and yours)

She loves your neck, for pretty obvious reasons ;)

Her favourite body part on herself is her legs because she's got great ones and damn is she proud of them and her butt.

C=Cum (damn Tumblr, you're dirty af)

She loves to taste you and can never seem to get enough. She takes pride in making you cum over and over.

D=Dirty Secret

She absolutely hates to admit it but Mike was some of the best sex she had. She also isn't ashamed to use sex to get what she wants.

E=Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they're doing?)

She's got quite a bit of experience under her belt - she was with Mike, after all. She challenges you and often gets you to try new things, though she'd never make you do anything you didn't want to do. She loves to see just how far she can push you, though.

F=Favorite Position

Jessica loves to be on top, watching you come undone underneath her. She enjoys being in control, though she never minds if you fight her for it.

G=Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humourous, etc.)

She is intense, and when she has feelings for you she pours them all out in the bedroom. She enjoys having fun, but when she's with you, she's all in and that plays out in bed, too.

H=Hair (How well-groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)

Of course, Jessica is well-groomed. She's perfect.

I=Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect...)

Jessica is 100% romantic. Intense, loving, she wants everything from you. In return, she gives you all of herself. The things she may not be able to communicate through words she communicates through touch - and she will definitely let you know how serious she is about you in bed.

J=Jack off (Masturbation headcanon)

If you're not around or not in the mood, Jessica has no problem taking care of herself. She won't wait around for anyone to get what she wants.

She also loves to call or text you when she's in the tub with a glass of wine - letting you know exactly what her intentions are and inviting you to join her.

K=Kink (One or more of their kinks)

Jessica loves to share even if she does get insecure sometimes that you’ll leave her for the other one. She definitely is possessive emotionally, but in bed, she adores sharing you. Once the fun is over it's back down to the basics, though - just the two of you.

L=Location (favourite place to do the deed)

She loves your bedroom, and it's always her favourite place, especially because there's no need to get up and dressed afterwards because her favourite thing is just cuddling together after.

M=Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

Words. Jessica is all about words. She loves to know how much you care, she enjoys the banter, dirty talk...all of it. Get her going mentally and she'll be ready to go physically in no time.

N=NO (Something they wouldn't do, turn-offs)

She's not into toys - she likes to know her skills aren't being wasted, and she has no time for them.

O=Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

Jessica can be a little selfish in this area - she loves receiving. She's definitely good at returning the favour when she does, but she loves, loves, loves receiving.

P=Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual?)

Jessica can go either way. Slow and sensual is good for her romantic moods, but when you've been verbally keeping up with her all day she's all about the fast and rough as you fight for dominance.

Q=Quickie (Their opinion on quickies rather than proper sex - how often, etc.)

She definitely prefers proper sex, because she loves to be able to go again right away. She'd much rather wait until she can get you home and you two can spend all night together instead of a few minutes. She likes to properly show you how much she cares, and explore.

R=Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)

She's game to experiment, for sure.

S=Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last...)

She's in it for the long haul. When you're together, you often don't get a lot of sleep - you'll doze off just to wake up and start again. She has a lot of stamina, and she loves to play.

T=Toys (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves)

She's not into it. Anything a toy can do she can do better.

U=Unfair (how much they like to tease)

She loves verbally teasing - challenging you with her words, dropping subtle innuendos and letting you know just how much she wants you without even a single touch. She also loves to give you little sneak peeks through her outfits, wearing things she knows will drive you nuts out in public. All of this has you begging for her to touch you by the end of the night.

V=Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make)

She's loud. If she's not screaming your name, you're not doing it right. She will try to be quiet if you're somewhere where she needs to keep it down, though.

W=Wild Card 

When you're fighting, the best way to fix things is in the bedroom. She's a total sucker for dirty talk and angry sex and when it's done, so is the fight.

X=X-ray (Let's see what's going on in those pants...pictures or words)

Jessica’s body is amazing and let's be honest were you expecting anything less?

Y=Yearning (How high is their sex drive)

Her sex drive changes in relation to how she feels about someone. It's pretty high, but the more she likes you, the higher it gets.

Z=ZZZ (...how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

Jessica loves to talk until you guys both fall asleep afterwards, so she falls asleep pretty quickly because she's relaxed with you. But it's never for long, she's more of a napper, waking up ready to go again in just a little bit.

[af-answers]

Four Times Artemis Tries to Convince Holly to go with him to Mars and the One Time he Didn’t

The First Time | The Second Time | The Third Time | The One Time he Didn’t

The Fourth Time

The fourth time was during their sting operation to find the Changeling Napper in the American West. Foaly’s e-mail had been the itinerary of a gnome named Rumi Mush, a fungus farmer on the south side of Haven. Agricultural workers received more topside passes than most other professions in the fairy world, because though Haven’s technology was great, there were some things (like fertilizer and new seeds) one had to get from the source. Mush had been to California a week before the kidnappings began, and the surveillance photos showed Mush bringing a large biohazard container topside. It wasn’t uncommon for his trade, but Mush himself didn’t work with biohazards like spores or bacteria. But that wasn’t the smoking gun.

Foaly had done a media sweep of the area. Two days ago, in the same little town where the A5 shoot let out in California, a human child had been abducted from its crib. A wood carving of a human child had been left in its place.

The LEP raided his house on the outskirts of the gnome district and found not only the four missing fairy babes crying in a locked closet, but the human child in a cage in the basement. There were more cages as well: apparently, Mush was putting together a menagerie.

When Holly put out a warrant for his arrest, Mush was on another surface run. They alerted border patrol, but he’d passed them hours before. Giving orders to detain him if he came back through, Commodore Short and a team of LEP Retrieval sprites suited up and took the fastest shuttle to the surface. The sprites complained the cramped quarters wrinkled her wings, and while Holly didn’t dignify them with an answer, she smiled to herself.

When they got to the surface, Mush hadn’t returned. To Holly, this meant either he knew somehow he’s been made and was on the lam, or he’d been caught in the act by humans. Both were worst case scenarios. Using intel about which babies lived nearest the fairy mound, the team split into three pairs, each taking a potential target.

“If you hear sirens, follow them,” she instructed over the comms.

She and her partner approached their assigned house downwind. Gnomes had excellent senses of smell; if their quarry caught a whiff of them, they were done. After all, he had the advantage of being magic-less and so could hide inside the house, not to mention the hostages he could take. She crept up to a window of the one-story brick house. All the windows were dark, but she looked in anyway, turning on her night vision.

“No movement,” she reported. “Check the other windows.”

Just then, a voice call alert flashed in the corner of her helmet, the icon ice blue.

“Not the time, Artemis,” she whispered, side-stepping a tipped over flower pot on the stoop of the porch.

“On the contrary, Commodore,” the Irish accent sounded even more pretentious over the phone, “you’ll want to hear what I have to say for once. The house you’re investigating is devoid of human occupants. Ms. Gregston won a all-expenses paid trip to the Bahamas this weekend, and she’s left her infant daughter with her parents.”

“How fortunate,” she snarked, straightening as the tension melted off her. “So I’m guessing Mush isn’t here either?”

“Oh,” she could practically hear his smirk stretch into a grin. “I wouldn’t say that. Look in the front window.”

Holly peeked over the cracking paint of the window sill into the front room. There, hog-tied inside a ring of candles, was Rumi Mush. Outside of the wax circle was a note, written in a woman’s hand,

“Come on in.”

“I’ll see you at the fairy mound,” Artemis said, then hung up the phone.

As her team escorted a handcuffed Mush into a police shuttle, Holly slipped into the woods to meet the hulking figure in the shadows.

“Hide and seek was never your game, eh big man?” she joked, tapping Butler on the thigh with her first.

“I was quite good at being ‘it’,” he said with a grin.

Holly turned her gaze on Artemis, who looked entirely too smug.

“What were you thinking, interfering with LEP business like this?”

The grin shrunk a few teeth. “If I hadn’t interfered, you would have had a hostage situation on your hands!”

“I’m not complaining,” she pointed out. “I’m asking what were you thinking. Why this case? Why now?” It had been less than forty-eight hours since their lunch conversation, but the boy— no, man— looked different now. Emotionally. Though he smiled and his shoulders were sloped back in a relaxed stance, her helmet sensors showed an elevated blood pressure and too-even breathing. Like he was regulating it manually.

She took off her helmet, tucking it under her arm before taking his hand. “What’s happened, Artemis?”

He looked up at his oldest friend, who coughed into one gargantuan fist. “I’ll go— wait by those trees. You know the ones.”

When he’d gone, Artemis sighed, his smile now tired. “I can’t beat Foaly’s sensors, can I?”

“Why would you try?” She activated her wings so she could hover at his eye level. “Does it have something to do with the space thing? Why are you so hung up on this Artemis? Why are you in such a hurry—“

“Hurry? I’ve been building this ship for four years!”

“And you can’t wait a little longer? You’re still young, your brothers are still young. If you leave now, you’ll miss most of their childhood.”

“All the more reason to leave now,” he joked.

“This all seems very reactionary for you, Arty. I’ve never known you to make such a big decision so flippantly.”

“Apparently I’m supposed to be flippant. Flippant is normal.”

Artemis ran his free hand through his hair— a rare gesture for him, as it mussed his quaff— and pursed his lips to keep himself from talking further (another rarity).

But that last word was all Holly needed. It was a word Artemis seldom used unless he talked about one specific person. “It’s your mother.”

Holly led him to the coffee house in the shuttle terminal. They got a lot of sideways glances, but Artemis had been on multiple Haven talk shows since his rebirth, so there was no outright alarm.

“It didn’t begin when I resurrected,” he said as she set a earthenware cup of hickory coffee in front of him. “It didn't even start after Hybras, it was well before then. I think Mother has considered herself a failure as a parent since Father’s return, and she’s been trying to rectify the problem— me— ever since.” He wrapped his hands around the cup, but didn’t lift it to drink. “First her behaviors were what I considered to be typical for a mother: buying me clothes I didn’t like, disapproving of my language, wanting me to socialize with people my own age. But when Myles showed signs of taking after me, it changed. Escalated.” He sighed deeply, and Holly realized this was hard for him, that he most likely had never voiced these thoughts aloud. She covered his hands with hers, but remained silent.

He took another breath, then went on. “She was already going to university for psychology and mental biology, so she took up some child psych classes. After her first class, she sent the twins to a private boarding school on the other side of Dublin. I know part of her reason was so the twins would be more socialized than I am. A noble goal to be sure.” He stared at their joined hands, a crease forming between his brows. “When the twins were suspended for criminal recklessness, I’ve never seen Mother so upset. Not only with the twins, but me as well. She would never accuse me of corrupting my brothers, of course, but after that she monitored me constantly. Every day she asked me probing questions, and I could feel her diagnosing me, trying to suss out how I was broken.” He pressed his eyes shut. “Do you know what it feels like, to have someone you love and admire try to change the fundamentals of who you are? To have someone make you question if you’re sensible or even real?”

Now Holly did speak. “Yes,” she said, squeezing his hands. When he opened his eyes to look at her, they were watery, the ice in his blue irises melting. “In my early days as an officer, Commander Root and my coworkers challenged every decision I made. If I showed emotion, I was acting like a girl. If I did something right, I was finally ‘thinking like a man.’”

“The commander said that to you?” Artemis asked, angry on her behalf.

She shrugged. “It was the way at the time. He apologized later, and no one on the force would dare make those comments now, but back then I was jeered at for acting like a woman, but rejected if I bucked gender roles. It was wrong of them to treat me as if my differences were flaws.” She said the next words gently, but firmly. “And it’s wrong of Angeline, too.”

He shook his head. “Your colleagues were prejudiced against your biology. I made horrible choices in the past, and Mother believes it’s her job to pick up the pieces.”

“You wearing Armani suits everyday and calling her ‘Mother’ doesn’t make you an evil dictator, Artemis,” she argued. “Your mother is upset because you are who you are independent of her influence. You took care of her when you were ten years old. You were saving the planet by fourteen. If she can’t see the amazing man you’ve become, it’s her who needs a shrink.”

The human blinked, then smiled, one side of his mouth pulling up higher than the other. “See? This is why I need you to come to Mars with me. Who else would put me in my place?”

She withdrew her hands and frowned. Her stomach fell like she’d eaten a meal of lead. “Wait. Was this all a ploy to convince me to go to Mars?”

He tilted his head at her, then laughed when he processed her question. “No, no it’s all sadly true. I must still have a way to go if you believe I’d tell such an egregious lie to trick you into running away with me. Or perhaps, you’re simply arrogant.”

Holly shared his laugh, her stomach light again. “Even though we shouldn’t change who we are to match someone else’s expectations, there's always room for personal growth.”

He finally took a drink of coffee, then winced when he found it was room temperature. “In all seriousness, the offer still stands. If there’s even a part of you that doubts, please think on it.” He produced a fairy credit chip to pay for their drinks, and Holly didn’t bother asking where he’d gotten it. He stood, still smiling sadly at her. The emotion was become a constant for him, and she didn’t like it. “The launch is scheduled for two weeks from tomorrow. Please let me know by then.”

She nodded numbly, her brain scrabbling to answer the unspoken question of whether she did doubt, when her thoughts finally snagged on two vital words.

“Two weeks?”

[crashingmeteorz]

“running from a place where they don’t make people like me”

an au i’m working on where jet and song grew up in the same village, jet is taken in by song and her mother after the fire nation kills his parents, and how they manage after. 

title from rainbow kitten surprise’s “hide”. word count: 4k. read on ao3.

trigger warnings for: death, imperialistic violence, graphic burn descriptions, graphic corpse descriptions, loss of parent, graphic depictions of violence, violence against children

.

.

.

When the Fire Nation attacks their village, the first thing Ji-Min is aware of is the heat.

They all knew it was coming, in a way, but denial is a funny thing. Whispers trickle through their village in a steady stream. A traveling merchant spotted an enemy camp, earthbenders have been disappearing along the high path, a neighboring village has been reduced to rubble. Some leave, but most stay, not willing to leave the place they have spent their whole lives in, have raised their children to love. Still, many families have packs by their doors, filled with necessities and valuables, just in case.

Ji-Min wants to leave but feels obligated to stay - as the leading healer in her village, she knows she's needed. Her daughter, however, is only eight years old, too young to be an orphan, and much too young to die. She tells her beloved husband as much.

"And you expect me to leave you, is that it?" he asks her in his slow voice, lips drawn in a playful smile.

"My love, please," she says, taking his hand. "Be reasonable. We'll never get out in time waiting around for you."

"Low blow," he says laughing, patting at the place on his hip where his leg used to be, before an accident from their younger years.

"But if you go now," she continues as though uninterrupted, "you can get out before it's too late. Go to Omashu, they'll grant you refuge."

"And if we're lucky, we won't run into any soldiers along the way," he agrees. "Or bandits, child-nappers, wayward spirits..."

"Shiming, please" she says again, the knot in her throat tightening quite against her will. "I love you both so much. If you get away, you at least stand a chance."

"You talk as if they're already here!" Shiming says, laughing again. "Don't I deserve a say? I can still fight, you know. If the Fire Nation comes, I'd like to defend my village if that's alright with you."

"What about our daughter?" Ji-Min asks him. Finally, Shiming's face changes to something resembling severity.

"I won't let anything happen to her," he says firmly. And then, covering her hand, he says, "And I know you won't either."

So they stay, and they pack their bag like every other family, and if Shiming is practicing his earthbending more than he has in years, well, that's a comfort. And because Ji-Min is not a stupid woman, she is not surprised when the attack finally happens. Instead, she faces it with grim acceptance.

The noon sun is high above when they come, and most are eating lunch. They arrive at the village gate, which is little more than an archway, and a few families flee out into the hills. Ji-Min would later discover that many of these families were killed in the fires that the soldiers set. A few leave their houses to observe the soldiers. Some stay inside to hold their children close. Many families, however, like Ji-Min and Shiming, have homes nestled around corners and in small valleys, and don't even know the soldiers are here. It is said, however, when they first arrived, they asked for a village elder, to negotiate terms of surrender.

What passed between the old man and the Fire Nation captain, no one knew for certain. But in the weeks leading up to the invasion, despite the fear and the running, the general consensus was, the people wanted to fight.

The old man is the first casualty in the battle for the village.

After that, it's chaos. So for Ji-Min, the first thing she knows is heat, and the second is a fireball in the sky directed a few houses away from theirs.

"Shiming," she says grimly, gathering up her herbs and medicines.

"I know," he says, handing her their daughter, whose pale round face is streaming with tears already. "I'll get you to the healing house, and then I'm going to join the others."

He pauses at the door and turns around to look at his little family.

"There won't be time for goodbyes," he tells them, and Ji-Min thinks there isn't really time now, either, but she knows he what he means. They may not get a moment like this again.

Shiming kisses his daughter's face, making loud "mwah" noises as he does, eliciting a laugh or two through the tears.

"Please don't go," says the little girl, and he cups her cheek.

"We'll see each other again," he tells her, before turning to look at his wife.

"Be strong," she tells him.

"You too," he says. He kisses her briefly, and squeezes her hand. They have a language, all on their own, so strong that words pale in comparison.

He opens the door.

.

.

.

It's evening by the time the sounds of battle cease, but the screams only grow louder, no longer drowned out by bending. The sobbing people in the healing house are loudest of all. Ji-Min has no idea how many people she's treated - after eight dead, she stopped counting because it was making her nauseous, and the last thing her people needed was a healer with a weak stomach.

Lying beside her all the while and occupying most of her thoughts, however, is her daughter. The journey from their home to the healing house had been frightening, but they had made it in one piece, thanks to the shields of earth her husband had provided. Shiming ran off, just as he said he would, and Ji-Min had put her daughter down, just for a minute, just to shove open the old door that so often got stuck, when suddenly there was a blood-curdling shriek.

Her daughter had collapsed, and her right leg was covered in a pale spiral, swelling more by the second. A firebender was flicking flames the way a ringmaster cracks his whip, and he seemed to be doing it with no real goal in mind, apart from destruction and violence. The sight rooted Ji-Min to the spot, shocked, until her brain caught up with her,

Ji-Min was still cursing herself for the time (three seconds at most) it took her to react, long after the leg had been treated and wrapped, and her daughter had been given a sleeping draught. But mostly, she was cursing herself for failing Shiming so quickly after he had trusted her with their most precious gift.

"Mother?" comes a small voice as Ji-Min is busy attempting to wrap an elderly woman’s midriff.

"Don't move, darling," Ji-Min tells her daughter without looking. "I'll help you in a moment,"

Even as she says it, Ji-Min hears stirring behind her. She gives the old woman an apologetic look, and turns to her daughter.

"Song," Ji-Min says sharply, staring daggers at the girl, who has propped herself up on her elbows. Song looks down, blushing.

"I'm sorry, Mother," Song says. "It's just - my leg doesn't hurt so much."

Ji-Min grimaces. The less pain, the worse the burn.

"Does it hurt at all?" she asks in her best imitation of a woman who is not terrified.

"Yes, but-"

"Then stay right where you are, and don't move," Ji-Min tells her, inwardly breathing a sigh of relief. The leg may be salvageable.

"May I sit up, please?" Song asks politely, still on her elbows, a little smile on her face. Ji-Min feels a swell of affection - so like your father, she thinks. She does not say this, however - Song does not seem to remember what has happened. The flimsy privacy screen may be the only thing keeping her from the truth.

"Fine, but let me help you," Ji-Min relents, pulling her up by her shoulders and letting her good leg dangle off the table. She thanks the stars her daughter practically grew up in the healing house, since she does not seem put off by the moans of agony all around them.

Ji-Min returns to her patient, who thankfully has only been singed, and finishes dressing her wound.

"You may stay," she tells her, "but you may not sit, or ask the healers for anything. There’s not enough room, and we are far too busy."

"I'll be moving on," the old woman says, sliding less-than-gracefully off the table. "The worst of it seems to have passed."

Ji-Min wishes her luck, reminds Song to stay put, and exits to the main room for her next patient, when there's a particularly loud thump at the door.

Everyone jumps, even Ji-Min, and a few scream. Ji-Min hushes them.

"The Fire Nation doesn't knock," she says sternly, before opening the door.

There, slumped against the jutting frame of the old door, is a what Ji-Min guesses is a woman, but she is almost too burned to tell. She moves something stump-like, which is probably her arm, and pulls at a bundle of fabric. A little boy, about Song's age, is unconscious within.

The woman opens the maw where her mouth was, tries to speak, and fails, but Ji-Min knows without question what the woman was saying: Please.

Ji-Min scoops up the boy, and what's left of the woman's skin falls off as she does. Smoke is still coming off her hands, pieces of which are stuck to the blanket the boy is in. Again, Ji-Min finds herself in shock - even with all she's seen, there's never been anyone like this, before. No one alive, anyway. As though outside her body, Ji-Min takes in what used to be her village for the first time. Most of it is rubble, though a few buildings near the one she's in still stand. Smoke curls over the ground in thick tendrils. The sky is a brilliant red, and Ji-Min imagines that to anyone beyond the village, it looks beautiful.

Then the woman slumps forward, dead, breaking the reverie. With the boy in one arm, Ji-Min drags the woman's body by her clothes to the side of the house, so that it does not block the doorway. She bends down, whispers a promise to the dead woman, and brings the boy inside.

When she gets to her station, Song is making her best effort to look like she wasn't peeking, but the troubled expression on her daughter's face gives her away.

Ji-Min places the boy on the table, and as the blanket falls away, she spots a deep, ugly welt just over his heart. His breathing is faint - no telling how much smoke he'd inhaled already. He'll live, Ji-Min tells herself bitterly, insistently, but it won't be pretty.

"Song," she says, taking out globs of the same foul-smelling ointment she'd used on her daughter hours earlier and spreading it over the boy's burn, "what are you thinking of?"

"Father," Song says sadly. "Before we left home."

Ah. As Ji-Min suspected, she remembers.

"You're being very brave," Ji-Min tells her, wiping off the excess ointment once it has set, and repeating the process. "Very brave, and very strong."

"I want to be like you," Song replies, and even as she says it, Ji-Min can hear the quiver in her voice. Ji-Min puts a heap of ointment on the boy, and then turns to her kind, gentle daughter while she waits for the medicine to settle in.

Don't be like me, love, Ji-Min thinks. Don't be cold.

"Thank you, darling," Ji-Min says instead. "But you don't have to be. You can cry if you'd like. Crying is strong, too. It shows the strength of your heart, like your father."

Song cries, softly, and Ji-Min reaches under the table to give her daughter her stuffed pygmy-puma, which Shiming has been smart enough to pack in with their essentials. She embraces her daughter for a moment, kisses her forehead, and then turns back to the task at hand.

Ji-Min works on the boy for the next hour, before eventually wrapping his chest with gauze. She doesn't sedate him; his breathing is labored enough without the help of medication. No, she'll wait until he settles, or until he stirs some, before she does anything else. Even if he wakes, she’s not sure it’s worth risking slowing his heart. For now, she places a few pillows under his head to open his airways, and lets him rest.

She calls in another healer to help her move Song to a set of cushions beside her station. As they adjust her leg, Song cries out in pain, and Ji-Min rejoices again - pain is feeling, after all.

The battle may be over, but the bodies keep coming, some far more horrific than the boy. She looks to Song before one particularly gruesome patient and tilts her head in question. Song shakes her head and settles deeper into her pillow. In that moment, Ji-Min is overcome with pride. Even today, this most horrific of days, Song stays, and is brave for people she doesn't even know.

They're both natural healers, Ji-Min knows, but in entirely different ways. Ji-Min is grateful. Loving Song is easy. She knows it wasn't as easy with her, for her mother.

It's late, well past midnight, when Ji-Min goes to look for another patient and finds none. Everyone still in the house has been treated, and though they're worse for wear, they're stable for now. There's doubtless more wounded in the village, trapped or afraid to leave their homes. She knows she'll have to lead a search team when the day comes, but for now she looks over those in the house and checks to see if there's anything that needs taken care of. The day was a long one, filled with violence, and she's certain some wounds will rear their ugly heads again before daybreak.

Sure enough, a young woman whose head was badly burned appears to be seizing in her sleep. Ji-Min calls over a free healer, and they bring her to the closest station. The blackened skin is oozing pus, and before she knows it Ji-Min has her hands full with another emergency case.

Song, meanwhile, awakens to a sharp cry. She looks around for her mother, and when Ji-Min does not appear, she clutches her plush closer to her chest. There's another cry like before, and then all at once, someone is letting out violent, anguished sobs. The sound snaps Song awake, and she realizes that it’s coming from beside her.

She moves to stand with such suddenness, her body forgets for the barest of seconds that it’s been through extreme trauma - it's just long enough to get her partially off the ground before the pain, white-hot, shoots up her leg.

Song feels the welts the firebender left, pulsing violently on her leg. She bites her tongue so hard it bleeds. Gripping the wall, she drags herself over to the table where the boy is convulsing, crying so hard it wracks his entire body.

"Shh," Song says uselessly, leaning on the table for support, using her left leg to hold herself up so as to take the weight off her injured one. "Shh, it's alright."

The boy ignores her, or can't hear her over himself, and continues to cry, coughing thickly at times. His pillows have fallen to the ground, so he's lying flat on his back. Gingerly, she reaches out to hold his hand, but he hardly seems to notice, coughing harder until Song is certain he's choking. She shuffles around the table until she's directly behind his head, and just in time, because he turns and wretches, throwing up black gunk.

Song panics - she knows he needs to breathe, but he's crying again and all that does is start the process all over. But she can't do much with her stupid leg, which is screaming in pain all the while.

In a desperate move, Song leans her chest on the table, places one hand on the boy's sweaty forehead, the other on his shoulder, and leans her head down so she's near his ear. She whispers hurriedly, telling him he's safe, that she's not going to hurt him, begging him as gently as she can to calm down. After what seems like forever, his sobs subside into small coughs. Song breathes, and at that moment her left leg, which has been supporting most of her weight, wobbles.

She slips onto her bad leg, and yells loudly, right in the boy's ear. It startles him so much, he sits up, and brings her with him.

"You're choking me," the boy coughs out, gripping at the hand which has slipped from his forehead to his neck. Her other hand has a vice grip on his shoulder.

"S-sorry," she says, not even sure what she's apologizing for because the pain has whited out her vision and most of her hearing.

"'S'okay," he says, as he manages to remove her hand, which sends them flying backwards with Song's weight. She yells again, and drops to the floor, blessedly falling on her left side.

The boy turns around to look at her in bewilderment. As her vision returns, Song notes the snot and vomit still lining his face, and she hates how sick she feels looking at it.

He scrambles off the table and crouches at her side.

"I didn't know you were hurt," he says, offering his hands. Song shakes her head at him.

"I don't think I should get up again," she tells him. "And you're hurt, too. You shouldn't be up."

"I'm fine," he says, but his body betrays him with a series of intense coughs.

"Just get back on the table," Song begs him, handing him the pillows, which are miraculously not covered in vomit, "and put these under your head."

"Are you just going to stay on the floor?" he asks her. Song looks to her bed of cushions, and realizes it seems a long way away after her misadventure. The boy follows her gaze.

"Let me help you," he says, placing the pillows on the table and offering his hands again. Reluctantly, Song takes them. The boy pulls her up, taking care to hoist her by her left side. She wraps an arm around his shoulders, and he all but drags her over to the cushions. Song collapses into them, and the boy leans back against the table, facing her. His face is still a mess, but he doesn't seem to even notice.

"I didn't know there were other kids around," he tells her urgently, but all Song can think about is why he won't just get on the table and go back to sleep.

"I help my mother," Song tells him. "You really should lie back down."

"Are you going to tell anyone?" the boy asks her seriously. He looks very nervous. Song just stares at him.

"That I...that I was crying?" the boy asks. Oh.

"Of course not," Song says. "I don't even know who you are. Also, you should wash your face. It's filthy."

The words are out before Song can stop herself, and she throws her hands over her mouth. The boy reaches up, and his fingers come away sticky.

"I'm so sorry," Song says to him. "I'm so tired, I didn't mean to-" But the boy just laughs.

"It is filthy," he says. "Boy, my mom's gonna-"

He stops talking suddenly and freezes in his spot. Song wishes she knew what to say, or how to help in, but she comes up short.

"Is...is she why you were crying?" Song asks, and as she does, tears fill his eyes again.

"It's okay," she says, panicking once more, because that was an awfully personal thing to ask, stupid Song. "It's okay, you're okay."

Just when he seems on the verge of sobbing, her mother comes back, thank the stars.

"What are you doing up?" Ji-Min asks the boy sharply, and he lets out a wail. Song watches her mother's expression soften, as though she had forgotten who she was speaking to.

"Hush, now," Ji-Min murmurs, scooping the boy up effortlessly and placing him on the table. She hurries to a pitcher of water and some clean rags on a nearby stool, and begins cleaning the boy's face.

"M-mom," the boy sobs, and Song feels herself begin to cry against her will. She's never seen someone her age so sad. "I need my - where's my mom?"

"Hush, hush," murmurs Ji-Min, wrapping him in a tender embrace. He cries into her dress, and Song does her best to cry into her own shirt, not wanting to detract from the boy's pain.

"I'm going to take care of you, now," Ji-Min says. "You're safe."

The boy cries himself out, until Ji-Min can eventually lay him down. She pets his forehead for a while, singing a lullaby Song recognizes. It calms Song, too, and her tears eventually subside.

Eventually, the boy's breathing slows some, and Ji-Min makes her way over to Song.

"Well, darling," Ji-Min says gently, adjusting Song's leg and examining her bandages. "I can see someone's been walking around."

"I'm sorry, Mother," Song says, hanging her head. "It's just the boy, he woke up, he was so sick, I was afraid-"

"Don't you ever apologize for trying to help someone else," Ji-Min tells her firmly, wrapping her leg with new bandages, not daring to remove the old ones. "I'm not happy about your leg, but then I'm not happy about many things today. At least I have a girl as wonderful as you."

Song waits until her mother is done adjusting her leg, until after she takes her sleeping draught, and then throws her arms around her. Ji-Min returns the embrace but swallows her tears. She will not be weak, not now, when Song has been so strong.

"Try and get some sleep, darling," Ji-Min tells her daughter, cupping her pale face with her hands. "We have a long day ahead."

Ji-Min leaves to return to her duties, and Song lays down on her makeshift bed.

"Jet," comes a quiet voice. Song turns her head towards the boy on the table, who up until now she believed was asleep.

"What was that?" Song asks him.

"You said you don't know who I am," the boy says. "My name is Jet."

"Oh," she says. "I'm Song. Thank you for helping me over to the cushions, before."

"Yeah," he says. "Same here."

They are quiet for a few minutes, but she does not hear his breathing get any slower.

"I won't tell anyone," she tells him. "Even though I know your name. But only if you don't tell anyone I fell on you."

"Twice," Jet reminds her. She rolls her eyes.

"Yes, twice," she agrees.

"Deal," Jet tells her.

"Okay," Song says, biting her lip before blurting out, "also it’s – my mother says it’s brave to cry. It, um, it shows the strength of your heart.”

“I guess so,” Jet says thoughtfully. “I just don’t like doing it in front of other kids.”

“Why?” Song asks him. She cries in front of other people all the time. Jet makes a noncommittal noise.

“I don’t know. It’s babyish, I guess,” he finally answers.

“I don’t think you’re babyish,” Song tells him. She thinks he’s kinda gross, but not babyish.

“Thanks,” Jet replies. “I don’t think you’re babyish, either.”

They lie in a companionable silence for a little while.

“Well, goodnight, Jet," Song finally says awkwardly.

"Goodnight, Song," says Jet, and as the medicine kicks in, he sounds worlds away. "See you tomorrow."

Tomorrow feels as though it's right next to the word impossible, but sure enough, the sun rises, and the new day comes. When Song wakes up, it's from a nightmare that Jet had died while she slept. She sits up and listens, and breathes a sigh of relief when she can make out his breathing, much deeper than the night before.

He's strange, this messy boy with messy hair, and a burn mark seared over his heart, and he's very sad. But her mother had said she'd take care of him, and her mother doesn't lie, so Song supposes she'll have to get used to him.

Jet turns, opening his eyes only to catch her staring at him. He sends her a sleepy smile, and Song returns it.

Maybe, she thinks, he won't be so bad.

[hamdontlook]

No thoughts head empty

Pepe:

- he doesn't like being alone and that's part of why he shares the house with Bob and they are always together (they are best friends but like.. Pepe doesn't have much "me" time because if he spends days without being with someone it affects his mind a Lot. He needs to learn to be alone basically- but that doesn't mean he needs to remove that part of him. Jefa is super good for him because they are kinda free spirited and kinda just appears when they feel like it but since they enjoy being with Pepe it happens a Lot). At first Jefa thought he was just clingy but slowly they realize what's up- tho they found cute at the begging that part of him, being so social.

- after some time he stops smoking so much in front of them so they don't catch second hand smoking even though Jefa tells him it's okay, they don't mind but still he worries about their health (i mean this is just being a nice person towards other human being but being so insistent about not damaging the other person just because you choose to smoke and stuff that's cool)

- he asks Bob (he's a photographer and I haven't shown this part of him yet AJDJKDD someday when I'm not so focused on these two), well, he asks him to take a sneaky pic of him and Jefa someday because he would like to have A Nice Pic Of Them For No Reason™

- when they are relaxing and napping (Jefa Big time Napper) Pepe can't rly fall asleep so he starts realizing the freckles they have and start counting them or even paint on them. This ends up in the situation that Pepe just happens to stare at Jefa while they sleep

- he starts feeling insecure because he doesn't get the reason why Jefa keeps appearing and hanging out with him besides smooching (like after Let's Call It Adult Smooching ™) and he doesn't think he's that great and doesn't realize Jefa actually cares about him. This ends up making the situation of him being more cold towards them because he's a poopy head who doesn't TALK or COMMUNICATE i stg

- after sorting out that whole thing up there, Pepe confronts Feelings™ slowly and when hes upset he does this thing where he just hugs them from behind and puts his face on the shoulder trying to cry (this sounds dramatic af but it's not that deep lmao sometimes you just need to Try To Cry because ur heart is constipated). When this happens it's not that often so it always catches Jefa off guard and they are like "hhhhh hug💜" (ay dios ay dios mIo)

Jefa

- when people ask Pepe if he's not cold Jefa is like "he's from the north of course he's not cold lmao" but they will always carry a jacket or scarf or gloves for him (LOVE LANGUAGE YALL)

- they make these sculptures and stuff for Pepe (there was a whole comic going on explaining this) and when they see something cool that Pepe might like, they take a photo and have like an "inspo" folder to try to make it later for Pepe

- they want to brush Pepe's hair and touch his head but doesn't know how to tell him without making it weird so they end up doing like a joke or something to end up having their hands on his head sjsj

- they are EMBARRASSED about the fact that they like Pepe (when they FINALLY realize because this takes a Long While™ way longer than Pepe). This is actually shitty from them because they happen to not have taken him seriously after a while of slowly knowing him but it's always been like "pfft this is just some stupid dude nothing to worry about" and well He's this whole person with lots of undiscovered strengths who happens to have a different way of thinking and stuff (besides him Actually being a dummy let's face it) but like yonoe. Afterwards Jefa is embarrassed to have thought so poorly of him like he doesn't deserve that either

- Jefa has a huge breakdown one day and Pepe is like dw ill take you somewhere and they take the bus in a 1 hour trip and end up in a ?? Field?? Idk the word rn and I'm not switching apps to check it out but basically a place full of trash and he's like "ok, break stuff" and they are like "do you break stuff when you are sad or something?" And he's like "what?? No. I take some cool stuff from here for my house but you look like you would want to beat the shit out of something". So this is probably not a Good coping mechanism but idk I think it's interesting for them to have this convo and Pepe thinks of what could be good for Jefa in a situation of anger or sadness, not something he would do because they are so different. So yeah Jefa starts breaking stuff and Pepe is just like ":)" in the background searching for a new table akdbakdjd

- Jefa is so fucking annoying with series and tv shows to watch and they don't shut up about it and at first Pepe was "forced" to watch a few but later he starts watching any new thing Jefa gets into so they have something to talk about and because he's enjoys talking with them about these silly things (LOVE. LanguaGE.)

Both

- After a while, they get used to always sleeping and cuddling together so when they are sleeping alone they don't feel as comfy as they used to (not like it's not comfy but. Now hits different)

- sometimes when they are each of them on their own they happen to randomly think about the other person and wonder what they are up to or what are they doing right now

- both of them in the begging had crushes on different people (even if it's a Strong one or a silly one) and then they listened to songs about love and stuff they would think about their old crush. Welp now they find themselves thinking about each other and they don't know what to do with that sjbfkfnd (still they haven't noticed they have a thing for the other)

- when they Realize™ (each of them in a different rythm) they are SO scared of messing up their actual relationship or the development of those feelings because they dont want to fuck up what they have right now and want to play it safe. Also they would be so embarrassed about the others reaction

- Pepe teaches Jefa to accept their failures and failed projects because Jefa is obsessed with always being right or be Good at whatever they do because of fear of failure and insecurities and hipocresy and etc. Meanwhile, Jefa teaches Pepe that his emotions and feelings are important and bottling up is not a Good Thing. They also insist on Pepe to fight for his dreams and objectives (the pilot thing for example- maybe he doesn't end up being a pilot but he discovers he's good and likes to be in charge of the towers in the airport that gives directions to the planes or something, or even the dude with the lights)

- they start having inside jokes between them and showing themselves laugh more between each other and Bob and Rodney even notice and Rodney in specific since Jefa has been hiding from him all this is like "..wait hold on wait a damn second-"

- they start telling anecdotes and stories to Rodney and Bob (Rodney - Jefa ; Bob - Pepe) of each other. Bob just thinks they are partners (which they aren't yet) without saying a word which leads to misunderstandings and Rodney is like " dude. Ur crushing" and Jefa is like NO!!!! WHAT THE FUCK NO??!!

- one day they just start making out but it's all romantic and stuff and they don't know what to do with this because it's like a Different Setting- i feel like a teen writing all this stuff dbslsnfl my past 15 old self is like YeaaA finally I'm making some juicy oc shipping for myself. Anyways they end up cuddling and it's soft. And now I might be just sad about past relationships lmao let's move on

- when ordering food Pepe is So Fucking Slow because he reads EVERYTHING in the menu and I can't stress this enough EVERYTHING and Jefa being just A Nervous Being decides what to eat under a minute because if they don't they die. So this one day they are giving shit to Pepe saying JUST MAKE UP YOUR MIND ALREADY and when the waiter comes they tell Jefa the thing they want to order isn't available rn so Jefa just enters a panic state and orders anything random at the spot. The food arrives and Jefa's thing is Not Good and they ask Pepe if he can give them some of his food and he's like yea can u give me some of yours and idk this is just wholesome funni stuff I wanted to make a comic for but I guess I forgot and now I'm just translating this lmao

- they spend one night in jail I don't know how they just do maybe it's because of disturbance in public late at night we will never know. Anyways they make a scene in jail

-" IS it okay if I cuddle with u"... (They do) (one of them sneezes into the others back and fills their t shirt with the sneeze and the other is like EW WHAT THE FUCK)

- Jefa finds notes and books of pilot school stuff and asks Pepe about it. At first he wants to hide it but Jefa is High-key Annoying and he ends up telling them. They proceed to have an intense conversation. They joke about how Pepe doesn't qualify for the thing but he has extended knowledge about how planes work and what's needed (he did bad in the exams because of his insecurities getting in the way but he would have done great if he had faith in himself) and they later joke about how Jefa is just the opposite, people put too much pressure in them being good and stuff so they just said fuck it and only does stuff in their specific way alone or does nothing.

- they are hanging out really late at night inside the house and see that it starts snowing so they go out to play in the snow in their pajamas. Robin starts screaming that whoever is out there doing that much noise, to stop. They proceed to hide laughing about that whole thing a lot (tender moment. Tender). The next morning there's a bunch of snowman next to pepe's house and it's. Super cute aight..

- one day Rodney goes to Jefa's place and he opens their wardrobe because he's just like That™ trying to find something he gave to Jefa a while ago but ends up finding pepe's clothes which he recognizes (like a sweater or a t shirt) and when he asks them about it they are a super shitty liar not knowing what explanation to do and ends up saying "haha it's just a prank I hate him so I'm pranking him". And rodney, who is , not a dumbass is like "...ah..okay..."

[idkxwriting]

Rebekah Mikaelson - NSFW Alphabet

18+

requested by anon.

I know I said Klaus would be next, but I got asked to do it for Rebekah and Freya, too ... so you know I’m saving our two fav guys for last ;)

Kol

A = Aftercare (what are they like after sex)

Rebekah loves to cuddle after sex, curling into you and letting her fingers trail along your skin. She talks with you quietly until you both drift off to sleep.

B=Body Part (their fav body part of theirs and yours)

She loves your neck, for pretty obvious reasons ;)

Her favorite body part on herself is her legs, because she’s got great ones and damn is she proud of them and her butt.

C=Cum (damn tumblr, you’re dirty af)

She loves to taste you and can never seem to get enough. She takes pride in making you cum over and over.

D=Dirty Secret

She absolutely hates to admit it, but Damon was some of the best sex she had. She also isn’t ashamed to use sex to get what she wants.

E=Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

She’s got quite a bit of experience under her belt - she is a thousand years old, after all. She challenges you and often gets you to try new things, though she’d never make you do anything you didn’t want to do. She loves to see just how far she can push you, though.

F=Favorite Position

Rebekah loves to be on top, watching you come undone underneath her. She enjoys being in control, though she never minds if you fight her for it.

G=Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humourous, etc.)

She is intense, and when she has feelings for you she pours them all out in the bedroom. She enjoys having fun, but when she’s with you, she’s all in and that plays out in bed, too.

H=Hair (How well groomes are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)

Of course Rebekah is well groomed. She’s perfect.

I=Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…)

Rebekah is 100% a romantic. Intense, loving, she wants everything from you. In return she gives you all of herself. The things she may not be able to communicate through words she communicates through touch - and she will definitely let you know how serious she is about you in bed.

J=Jack off (Masturbation headcanon)

If you’re not around or not in the mood, Rebekah has no problem taking care of herself. She won’t wait around for anyone to get what she wants.

She also loves to call or text you when she’s in the tub with a glass of wine - letting you know exactly what her intentions are and inviting you to join her.

K=Kink (One or more of their kinks)

Rebekah loves to share. She definitely is possessive emotionally, but in bed she adores sharing you. Once the fun is over it’s back down to the basics, though - just the two of you.

L=Location (favorite place to do the deed)

She loves your bedroom, and it’s always her favorite place, especially because there’s no need to get up and dressed afterwards because her favorite thing is just cuddling together after.

M=Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

Words. Rebekah is all about words. She loves to know how much you care, she enjoys banter, dirty talk...all of it. Get her going mentally and she’ll be ready to go physically in no time.

N=NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

She’s not into toys - she likes to know her skills aren’t being wasted, and she has no time for them.

O=Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

Rebekah can be a little selfish in this area - she loves receiving. She’s definitely good at returning the favor when she does (she’s been around forever, she knows what she’s doing), but she loves, loves, loves receiving.

P=Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual?)

Rebekah can go either way. Slow and sensual is good for her romantic moods; but when you’ve been verbally keeping up with her all day she’s all about the fast and rough as you fight for dominance.

Q=Quickie (Their opinion on quickies rather than proper sex - how often, etc.)

She definitely prefers proper sex, because she loves to be able to go again right away. She’d much rather wait until she can get you home and you two can spend all night together instead of a few minutes. She likes to properly show you how much she cares, and explore.

R=Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)

She’s game to experiment, for sure.

S=Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)

She’s in it for the long haul. When you’re together, you often don’t get a lot of sleep - you’ll doze off just to wake up and start again. She has a lot of stamina, and she loves to play.

T=Toys (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves)

She’s not into it. Anything a toy can do she can do better.

U=Unfair (how much they like to tease)

She loves verbally teasing - challenging you with her words, dropping subtle innuendos and letting you know just how much she wants you without even a single touch. She also loves to give you little sneak peeks through her outfits, wearing things she knows will drive you nuts out in public. All of this has you begging for her to touch you by the end of the night.

V=Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make)

She’s loud. If she’s not screaming your name, you’re not doing it right. She will try to be quiet if you’re somewhere where she needs to keep it down, though.

W=Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice)

When you’re fighting, the best way to fix things is in the bedroom. She’s a total sucker for dirty talk and angry sex and when it’s done, so is the fight.

X=X-ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants...pictures or words)

Rebekah’s body is amazing and let’s be honest were you expecting anything less?

Y=Yearning (How high is their sex drive)

Her sex drive changes in relation to how she feels about someone. It’s pretty high, but the more she likes you, the higher it gets.

Z=ZZZ (...how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

Rebekah loves to talk until you guys both fall asleep afterwards, so she falls asleep pretty quickly because she’s relaxed with you. But it’s never for long, she’s more of a napper, waking up ready to go again in just a little bit.

Hopefully this is okay....I feel like I have a much better grasp on the guys lol so ....we’ll see I guess!

Alphabet tag list: @bodapenguin @cuddlyklaus @fafulous @elejah-wonderland @batgurl32467

[rosykims]

A-Z HEADCANONS // DUNCAN THEIRIN

i was tagged by @nordxz thanks so much tash !! i'm gonna answer this for duncan, my babey and the next gen son of alistair and ella cousland 😊😚😘

i snappped while answering these and accidentally wrote 6 pages and almost 4k words so uh. loooooong infodump ahead.

Alignment: What would be their D&D alignment? How might it come into play?

duncan very easily falls into the lawful neutral category, like i dont rly need to give his alignment too much thought unlike with some of my other ocs. duncan is.....hmm. hes a very KIND person, generous and selfless, and tries his best to make people happy, but i wouldn’t necessarily say he's good, considering a lot his issues lie with his inability to act, or stand up to others. he’s guilty of very blindly following the law, or other people's ideas of what's right, and he doesn't really feel confident enough to rely on his own conscience for most things. so i'd say while he tries to do the right thing and act within the law, sometimes he goes against his own values out of fear or confusion or, simply out of ignorance, since he was born into a life of privilege and can't always distinguish what's right and what’s believed ykno

Beverage: What do they most like to drink, and why?

duncan shares a weird trait with both his brother and sister where they all just inexplicably ?? don't like alcohol at all. so stuff like wine and liquors is off the table. he absolutely LOVES tea though. u know that one scene in scott pilgrim where the gal is going thru her list of like 72 teas? thats him 100%. it's his lifeblood at this point, he has SO much of it and a perk of being the heir to a monarchy means he's got a lot of foreign merchant acquaintances, so he tends to order in different blends from all over. he's a chronic insomniac, and he uses it as a crutch to get through the days some times. modern!duncan still loves tea but obviously has a stronger love for coffee, since its far more effective!

Co-Habitat: Do they live with anyone? What’s “need to know” before moving in?

duncan currently lives in the residential dorms of the college of enchanters, while he's sort of aimlessly studying a bunch of subjects he's already mostly adept at. firstly, duncan is VERY sick lol, he was conceived while ella and alistair still hadn't found the cure for the joining, and essentially he inherited both of their darkspawn taint so 🙂🙂🙂 thats always a good time. so anyone who lives with him needs to prepare for 1) him being sick obviously,, throwing up, coughing up blood, looking like a corpse virtually 23 hours of the day lol. and obviously the fear that one day he might actually die. but also 2) he suffers from grey warden nightmares for the same reasons, hence the insomnia. he can go a concerning number of days without sleeping and usually only takes strategic cat naps when he needs to, but obviously he has his limits. it's very rare that he goes a full night without waking up in a cold sweat due to nightmares so. we stan one depressed king ! oh he also is Incapable of locking the door to his apartment. he always forgets and hes too tired to care about people stealing his stuff fkdkdjdjd he would probably make more of an effort if he had someone living with him, but old habits die hard so !!!!!!

Decor: What kind of home do they keep? Are there any defining details?

honestly , duncan's house is very devoid of clutter or personal items in general, which is sad. he definitely would have a lot of decor if he could, but since his current housing is only temporary while he's in orlais, he doesn't really want to get... comfortable ykno. other than that, duncan's home is always kept impeccably neat and clean, for two reasons. firstly, growing up in denerim's palace really engrained into his head the importance of keeping up appearances, so its sort of a subconscious ritual of his at this point. but i think more importantly its because of all the nights when he cant sleep, so during the night with nothing to keep him from dwelling on his thoughts or nightmares, he really needs the distraction, and cleaning gives him something to do. duncan really needs to feel like he's doing something, like he's managing, like he's able to achieve something so cleaning is just one little way of taking ownership of his life.

Escape: What do they do to de-stress? How successful is it?

nsfw warning but uhhh..... he has a LOT of sex basically dkdkdksk u wouldn’t know it by looking at him tho ! bc hes very polite and nervous and kinda shy?? but hes also charming and obviously attractive so he doesnt really lack for interested parties. mainly he just sticks to one night stands, with no strings attached, and it helps him take his mind off things when hes exhausted or its late at night and hes afraid to go to sleep. otherwise he also has had some friends with benefits but usually his personal life is too complicated for a serious relationship. aside from that, he also reads a LOT, writes too – when he has the time/energy – and obviously cuddling sessions with his cat, moira dkdkdk

Fluff: What hits their soft spot? Does anything turn them into emotional goo?

so ik above i said that duncan doesnt do serious relationships but thats,, not through any will of his own. he LOVES love and is a complete hopeless romantic , but unfortunately for a number of reasons he's just very unlucky at love ! 😔 so having an emotional, intimate connection with someone that isnt just sex is super healing for him, since he's not used to it at all. being with nadaia is such a positive thing for him, just knowing that his feelings are reciprocated and that he's valued and wanted.

Grudge: How bad does an insult go over? Do they hold a grudge long?

i think it depends on who its directed at !! duncan usually ignores any insults directed at him because he's grown up being so scrutinized by the public and for the most part, fereldens are very weary of him so he hears A LOT. most of criticisms about him he just.. automatically accepts as fact and really buys into them, bc he has such low self esteem. but as for other people, and ESPECIALLY loved ones thats a very different story!! he's not exactly the type to start throwing punches if anyone says a bad word against someone he cares about, but he WILL personally see to it in his own sneaky way that they get whats coming to them dkdkkdjd usually he'll either find a way to expose their dirty laundry, embarrass them in public, prevent a promotion, something like that lol. this goes double if the insult is directed at nadaia or his family.

Hobby: What’s something they do for fun that might be surprising?

ive already mentioned that he's an avid reader and he likes to write occasionally, but he's also a talented musician! He can play harp and lute, and has a beautiful singing voice ! tho he never EVER sings in public and u have to be like,, a ride or die for him to even consider singing in front of u.

Insomnia: What’s their sleeping schedule like? Snorer? Sound sleeper?

well like i said he's an insomniac so sleep rly is a vague, barely recognised concept to him at the point dksksksk he also experiences sleep paralysis during especially bad nightmares, honestly he rly hit the misery jackpot and i feel so bad like hes indisputably my most tormented oc 🙃🙃🙃 so yea hehe doesnt really thrash around during nightmares but he sweats A LOT and sometimes talks in his sleep. during sleep paraylsis obviouslyy he goes COMPLETELY rigid and still which is terrifying for everyone involved lol. on the rare occasion that he is able to sleep he is out like a light lol he would sleep for 17 hours if he could. in saying that because he is also a Strategic Napper he is usually comfortable falling asleep ANYWHERE, because hes so tired comfort really isnt a concern lol.

Jaded: Do they buy into the “happily ever after” ideal? What’s their standard?

no he doesn't unfortunately 😔 or at least i should say he doesn't believe in it for himself - he's pretty convinced that he won't live til 30 and he's existing on borrowed time as it is, so he hasn't really put a lot of thought into his own happiness or the pursuit of his own goals because he doesn't believe he'll be around to see them realized

Kin: What’s their role among their relations? Do they consider others family?

duncan is the firstborn son of king!alistair and ella cousland, my canon warden. he's also the eldest brother to roslyn and bryce theirin. he's also, obviously , the half brother of keiran, tho none of the theirin kids are aware of that oof. his role, officially, is to become king when his parents eventually pass. its NOT something he wants, due to being so sick and unsure of himself. despite what his parents tell him, he doesnt believe he will make a good king and is really terrified of the notion in general, i guess a little like alistair was in dao. duncan kinda,,, avoids his duties, to the point where he literally LEAVES to live and study in orlais. he still does what he needs to do, keeps in correspondence with people he needs to, but its all bare minimum stuff because hes just. so afraid of it lol. he has a mostly good relationship with his family, despite that – theres some resentment between him and his sister, rose, but thats a whole entire story we dont have time for dkdkskdk

Law: What do they think about abiding rules? Are they selective about it?

like i said before he's pretty adherent to the rules and laws of society tho i do see that as more of a flaw than anything. he doesnt really feel comfortable stepping outside the norm and tends to accept that other people know best ! even if he disagrees he's usually too unsure of himself to speak up. that does change quite a bit once he and nadaia grow closer, since SHE is big on bending ridiculous or unjust rules, but he's always gonna be a bit of a follower i think 😒

Magic: In a magic series or not, are they accepting, or is each instance a shock?

he's accepting!! he's a mage so it would be wild of him if he didnt lmao. during his childhood/adolesence he was kinda harsh on himself and had a lot of internalized guilt for being a mage, bc this was obviously still fresh after the mage rebellions. he resented his own abilities and just wanted to be normal, but that was also him projecting a lot of his other problems as well. he had amazing teachers who helped him come to terms with his abilities, and the best of all was my inquisitor, ashara, who is kind of like a very distant, scary aunt who always had a soft spot for him. she helped him – and alistair and ella – RIGHT after they discovered he was a mage, and she was really the biggest role model in his life when it came to magic. duncan has always looked up to her skill and control and confidence, and tried very hard to match that.

Network: Are they connected to the people? How much do they reach out to others?

duncan has an ARMY of acquaintances and connections due to his family, but doesn't really have a lot of people he considers his close friends. he's super friendly and he gets along with most people, but like ive said before serious relationships including friendships are always a bit complicated for him bc of who he is as a person lol. as for reaching out, he's a very independent, introverted person and so he tends not to seek out other people unless he's close to them or has no other choice. he's very self conscious about being a burden on people or being to “needy" so he holds himself back and sometimes comes across as a little cold.

Offspring: What kind of parent would they be? Would they prefer one, or multiple?

he.... probably can't physically have kids unfortunately due to his condition, and as a result he's never really wanted to think too much about it, or imagine a scenario that he believes he cant have. but if it WERE a possibility, or if he felt stable in his own life enough to adopt, he'd probably be comfortable with just one child to completely spoil. he would be such a good father, albiet maybe not the coolest dad ddkdkdks i think nadaia would be the one who got up to the crazy shenanigans and let her child get away with everything, and duncan would be more of the nurturing, responsible one. he'd be a MASTER at telling bedtime stories, would kick ass at homework assistance, and would sing his kid to sleep every single night (until they got too old for it obviously). ooooo im so IMMENSELY emo abt this au now that i think about it

Pistol: Is this character skilled with a weapon? What’s their opinion of violence?

duncan is a very non-violent person, but he does believe that sometimes violence is necessary and will BE violent if he needs to – only in self defence scenarios though. he's an adept mage, and very skilled with a staff, but he isn't a fighter, really – more of a defensive, protective figure.

Question: How often do they feel doubt? What topics are they defensive about?

oh the doubt is constant with him 🙃🙃 he has a lot of deep routed dread about his own morality and whether or not he's a good person or if the maker will accept him when he dies. he's andrastian but TERRIFIED of the notion that its all actually real, bc then he doesnt know where that leaves him. he has this weird existential dichotomy where he doesnt know if hes closer resembling a grey warden or a darkspawn bc of his tainted blood. he also doubts his abilities and his magic bc he's afraid that the taint just,, makes him inherently a corrupted thing. he doubts himself on a more basic level with like, being a good brother, a good son, a good king when the time comes. he wants to be a good student and partner but sometimes his health makes him feel like he cant, and it weighs on him so heavily, almost all the time. basically he needs a hug so badly its not funny 😔😔😔

Reminder: How are they at remembering daily needs? What falls through the cracks?

uhh its very selective !!! for the most part he's very good at taking care of himself, mostly because he NEEDS to otherwise his health gets out of control, but sometimes he tends to prioritize one set of needs above another,, which usually means not sleeping (the most common), forgetting to eat, not letting his loved ones know when he's having a poor health day which usually results in him getting really sick and nobody is around to help him. he also forgets to do certain things like lock up his house, buy foodstuffs, reply to peoples letters n stuff like that.

Sing: Do they like music? Do they listen often/sing/hum/play songs in their head?

yes and yes !! duncan loves music altho its a very personal and private thing for him. he's pretty naturally gifted with music and gets it from ella, who taught him a lot of what he knows. he has a gorgeous singing voice (i kinda hc something similar to dan smith’s vocals from bastille!) that he rarely uses bc he only ever sings when he's alone or if he's forced to by a nosy loved one or something lol

Touch: How do they handle contact? Is their personal bubble big?

duncan doesn't mind being touched !!! in fact in most situations he welcomes it, as long as its like,,, appropriate and not some random stranger obviously. he grew up with ella and alistair who obviously are VERY affectionate people so he loves giving and receiving hugs from friends and he doesnt flinch or feel weird about just? random natural touches or anything. his ~love language~ is also physical touch so he LIVES for cuddling with nadaia and holding hands and anything like that. however !!! his little sister rose HATES being touched by virtually anybody and in any capacity, so he's very aware that not everybody is okay with touch, and is always careful and considerate of other peoples boundaries. he usually waits for the other person to make the first move, or simply asks them first !

Upcoming: How much do they think of the future? Do they make long-term plans?

he doesn't at all 😔 i mentioned this before but he doesn't see himself living very long, and its really impacted his outlook on life. he is afraid to commit to a lot of things, even if its something he really, truly wants, because he doesn't want to get his hopes up for things. it also keeps him from forging positive relationships. a lot of it has to do with him just being overly polite, but he refuses to make the first move with anything, or communicate what HE wants out of something. for example, his relationship with nadaia could have progressed so much faster if he had just,,, told her what he wanted. she had to make a lot of the first moves in the relationship because he just,, doesnt know how to take chances i guess !!! we love a Deeply Flawed king

Vice: What bad habits do they have? Is there something they would be ashamed of?

Some harmless ones are ; him talking to his cat constantly dkdskd also he has very poor time management skills so he's almost always a few minutes late, forgetting to lock his stuff up, and slouching, probably !!! some more serious ones would be like,, having sex with strangers as a coping mechanism lol, not speaking his mind and instead just letting himself be a doormat, also INTENSE avoidance of his problems (moving away to orlais for 9 years to avoid his fear of being king for example 🙃) tho i guess they fall under the same category oof.

Wardrobe: What’s their fashion style? Do they have any staple pieces?

duncan dresses nice, for the most part !!! again, it's mostly to do with growing up in court and having to keep up appearances, but also hes just. a nice bisexual boy who wants to take care of himself ykno, and that includes hygiene/clothing/grooming etc ! he's maybe a bit TOO reserved tho, he mostly wears dark colours like blacks, greys and brows, but hes been known to wears reds/blues/whites as well, and there’s a lot of subtle yet beautiful details on his more formal attire that might go unnoticed by a casual eye. a lot of his clothes are specifically tailored but he's also fond of big oversized sweaters for when hes just hanging out ! he's got a not great relationship with his body lol so he usually dresses very conservatively, with long sleeves and pants and usually more than one layer, but hes also a thot so !!! pants be TIGHT dksksksks

X-Ray: How’s their health? Any problem areas? Do they take care of themselves?

Djdjdksksndjddjkekdidksjs OKAY WELL if u have read this far than obviously u kno the answer to this question. if ur just skimming tho first of all ur valid ! second of all duncan is VERY sick. he was conceived when ella and alistair where still searching for the joining cur, so basically he inherited the darkspawn taint x 2 and nearly died a bunch of times as a baby/young child. obviously idk how the cure storyline is gonna resolve but my hc is that bc the darkspawn taint is something he was BORN with, not just something that happened to him via ritual, his body is much more impacted by it so even if they are able to find a cure, it wouldnt work THAT well and his health would still suffer bc of the prolonged damage. so physically, he deals with a LOT – intense migraines, insomnia, nausea, fatigue, problems with breathing and fevers and stuff. obviously mentally hes.... not doing great either, tho he’s trying his best. sometimes his insomnia gets so bad he starts hallucinating visions from his darkspawn nightmares, and sometimes he just feel paranoid in general that he's actually an Evil Darkspawn and hes just somehow managed to convince everyone hes a normal person – sort of a weird blend of imposter syndrome and body dysmorphia its. complicated. anyway he has very low self esteem and tends to think hes a huge inconvenience to everybody, and when he was a teenager he went thru a period where he was very suicidal, and ANGRY and afraid 😔 he’s doing better though, now that he has learnt how to manage most of his symptoms and he's not suffering in denerim court. nadaia is also a huge help, though he tries not to become too heavily reliant on her, since he's had bad experiences with depending too much on other people.

Yack: What’s their favorite thing to talk about? What do they go on about?

skskdkdk im already crying hehe 🙂 duncan is so introverted and self conscious of being “Too Much" for other people so he tends to keep his thoughts/interests to himself and stick w just. boring small tall or non invasive questions relating to the other person. BUT if u show an interest and he trusts u then oh boy. hes an absolute dork. he loves talking about magic and having really intense conversations abt the technical sides of it (he and dorian would get along SO well) but he also loves history !!!! before he began studying at the college of enchanters he received multiple ??? qualifications?? (idk if thats the right term but u kno) from the university of orlais, one of them being orlesian and ferelden history. also anything to do with the grey wardens, the blights and darkspawn for personal reasons obviously. He's a VERY good storyteller so he somehow finds a way to make even the dryest topics seem very compelling and Cool – varric would be proud !! he finds the orlesian Great Game fascinating, and he enjoys sharing wild anecdotes about the things he's seen asshole nobles get up to. thats always thrilling skdksksk ALSO. He has a secret interest in necromancy and the mortalitasi (its only a secret bc hes the heir and that wouldnt look ... great lol ) but he only ever really talks about that with nadaia, who finds that stuff almost as interesting as he does. also, finally, he loves talking about nadaia 😊😊😊😊 hes the type of guy who will always namedrop “my girlfriend" into any conversation, loves telling people about her accomplishments and how Cool she is ..... he loves her a Lot is what im getting at sksksks

Zodiac: What’s their astro sign? Does it fit? What would you pick, if it’s unknown?

duncan is a pisces babey like his mother !!! tho he could also be a virgo but,,, i think for now pisces works better for him. he's very smart and introspective and creative, but he has some issues with critical thoughts, avoidance and melancholy like ive mentioned. also pisces is a water element so i guess that makes even more sense, since hes an ice mage 👌👌👌

okay !!! im done !!! i cant believe i wrote all that but i guess if u didnt know abt duncan before, u absolutely do now dksksks im so sorry to anyone who actually read thru all of this, u really are braver than the troops