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hansols-yoda-boxers · 4 years ago

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In Bloom - Part 3

Plant Monster!Yunho x Female Reader x Water Nymph!Yeosang

Word Count: 4991

Contents: accidentally suggesting a threesome, threesome, vines and vine bondage, aphrodisiac pollen, powers that manipulate sensation what even is this, breast play, hand job, clit stimulation with fingers, oral (male and female giving and receiving), unprotected sex

Notes: @lustjoong ahhhh it’s f i n a l l y done lmao. I hope everyone likes it and I hope you really enjoy the wrap up tho I could write more who knows hehe

Prequel | Introduction | Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3

What Yunho’s Flowers Look Like

Getting to know Yeosang was a slow process. The rain of the monsoon season gave way to the heat of late summer and then the crisp days of early fall as you spent more and more time with the two. Yeosang spent more and more time with you when you visited, talking to you and telling you small things about himself.

Yunho seemed happy that the two of you got along. More and more you realized he had been nervous, having you around but not knowing about Yeosang. They were close and the fact that the two of you got along as well as you did helped ease his mind.

It did mean, of course, that Yunho and you had a bit less sex. Neither of you wanted to kick Yeosang out, you enjoyed his company. But you also both got a little antsy, particularly when one of you was already needy and Yeosang peeked in on you before anything could actually happen.

And so, maybe it was unsurprising that some days the second you found your way to Yunho’s little home he’d grab you and kiss you hard, leaving no time for talking. Other days as you sat and talked with him and Yeosang, he’d pull you into his lap and start kissing your shoulders or nuzzling against you and wrapping you in vines until Yeosang made some sort of excuse and jumped back into the water, leaving the two of you alone.

Today, you had a feeling, might be one of the latter. As you made it to the pond Yeosang peeked out at you, eyes glinting and voice calling your name softly. You felt bad that it made your heart sink just a little to see him. It wasn’t that you didn’t like him, but that you were hoping to make it to Yunho first. You could of course just tell him to leave but you didn’t want to, despite his quiet nature he seemed eager to get to know you and happy to have someone else to talk to and it warmed your heart.

“There are ways for… you, to come underwater?” Yeosang asked as he swam along beside you and you followed the water towards Yunho’s home.

“I mean I could just swim,” you chuckled.

“Ah no. Can you… how do you breathe?”

“Oh,” you hummed. “Yeah no I can’t breath underwater.” You listened to Yeosang’s quiet chuckle. “I mean, if I could get my hands on some scuba gear,” you mused.

You caught Yeosang’s eye. He had a smile on his face and a hopeful expression and you couldn’t help the way it made your heart swell.

“I- I don’t know if I can though,” his smile faltered. “But i-if I figure it out I will. I promise.”

“Ah,” he thought for a moment before speaking again. “I want to show you underwater.”

“You do?” you should have guessed that was what he was getting at, but some part of it still surprised you.

“Yes,” he hummed. “I think you would like it.”

A smile tugged at your lips as you gazed at him, though the foliage grew up around you and grew darker. You knew now that you were close to Yunho’s home as it always got the thickest before where he lived. You wondered how many of the workers had been in this deep.

“What are you thinking?” Yeosang seemed to know you were contemplating something.

“I- do people know about Yunho’s home? Do people know about yours?”

“Not many know me,” he said simply. “I can… hide well. I think… only a few know of here.”

“I’m glad you two have each other,” you said quietly. “Otherwise it would be too lonely.”

Yeosang let out a laugh, though one too sad in tone. “It is still lonely. Less lonely, but it is lonely.” He said. “I miss…”

You glanced at him in the darkness, knowing that soon enough it would lift as you found the clearing, but he seemed almost lost in memory. You bit on your lip, unsure if you should say anything but as the silence stretched out, deciding it would be best to.

“What do you miss?”

Yeosang blinked a few times before gazing up at you, mumbling something too quietly for you to hear before shaking his head as you pushed past the last few large leaves.

“It does not matter,” he smiled at you. “We are here. I will meet you inside?”

“Okay…” your word trailed off as he dove down into the water. You did yearn to know more about him, but now seemed not to be the time. Both Yunho and Yeosang could be quiet and secretive about their pasts and you were sure there would be a lot you didn’t understand. You just worried, sometimes they seemed so somber and you wished you could help somehow.

“Oh thank gosh!” As soon as you pushed through the door Yunho wrapped you in vines and pulled you closer quickly. You didn’t manage to get a word out before he was kissing you and you couldn’t help the smile it brought to your lips. Your fingers found a vine and you dragged your nails over it lightly, drawing a small whine from Yunho’s lips but managing to get his attention.

“Is tha-”

“Yeosang is coming.”

“Agh!” Yunho plopped down into the soft moss, bringing you down into his lap. “Okay but if I just start making out with you-”

“Yunho, he’s always so excited to hang out with us,” you chided.

Yunho buried his face in your neck. “Is it bad that I just really wanna have sex with my girlfriend?”

Even in your surprise you couldn’t help the way you smiled and your cheeks warmed at his somewhat sudden confession.

“Not that- I mean I know it’s not- this isn’t really- I haven’t-”

You quieted his nervous babbles with a kiss. “I know it’s complicated, but I’ve already been thinking of you as my boyfriend anyway.” You hummed.

Yunho kissed you again, pulling you to face him. “Can I kick him out now so we can celebrate?”

“We can celebrate later,” you hummed. “And I know you’ll want to tell him.”

As if on cue Yeosang made his way through the door, wrapped in a large, soft sweater. You always wondered how he dried off so fast but you had yet to question it and you had a feeling it was another answer you might not understand.

“I have a girlfriend!” As you expected, Yunho couldn’t keep the news in as he squeezed you in his arms. Yeosang’s face broke into a smile, though there was something nervous behind it as he sat in the moss with the two of you.

“I am glad you finally asked.” He said.

“How long have you been thinking about that?” you questioned, watching the colour rise in Yunho’s cheeks.

“J-Just a while.”

“Over a month,” Yeosang corrected him. “I just…” he broke off into his own language.

Yunho’s face fell a little as he replied, resting his head on your shoulder as you listened to them, wondering if it was possible for you to learn it. You thought so, since they seemed to both make sounds like humans did. Maybe they would teach you.

“It’ll be fine,” Yunho finally said, pressing a kiss to your shoulder.

“I hope…” Yeosang sounded sincere as he watched Yunho’s actions. “Should I…?”

“You don’t have to leave yet,” you said, though Yunho let out a small whine. “You just got here.”

“I think,” Yeosang looked between the two of you with a bemused smile. “Yunho would like you alone.”

You felt heat rush to your face. You hadn’t thought too much about it and he’d never mentioned anything about it before but it made sense that he knew you had sex. He usually just excused himself and the way he called it out a little more clearly had a flood of embarrassment rushing through you. Still you felt bad about the idea of kicking him out.

“You can stay.” You said. Yeosang chuckled and Yunho let out a muffled sound against your skin as you processed your words fully.

“I- I didn’t mean-” Yunho started to laugh and you smacked his arm as his laughter spread to Yeosang. “Shut up! You know that’s not what I meant!”

“I didn’t know you wanted Yeosang to watch, sweetheart,” Yunho teased. Yeosang added something and the two of them cracked up, tears in their eyes as they laughed.

You shoved Yunho despite not being able to move from his lap. “What did he say?”

“Something along the lines of ‘kinky.’” Yunho laughed, wiping tears from his eyes.

“You two are so mean,” you grumbled.

“You were the one who said it,” Yeosang teased.

“If that’s what you want you can say it,” Yunho laughed.

“I wouldn’t ask for that!” You cried. “That wouldn’t even be fair anyway, not unless he joined in.”

You should have known you were digging the hole deeper and yet somehow that slipped past you until Yunho cracked up even more and Yeosang looked at you with wide eyes.

“Would you really… suggest that?” he asked slowly.

“Has this been on your mind, sweetheart?” Yunho was still teasing you but you could feel the immense heat on your face as your mind started to wrap around the idea, unwilling to let it go.

“I-I- n-no.”

Surprise finally overtook Yunho’s expression as his giggles subsided. “Wait, are you actually serious?”

You wanted to hide in the wake of their surprised gazes and you curled in on yourself. “That wasn’t- You guys just- I-I mean it would be the only fair option, th-that’s all.”

Yunho was much gentler as he cupped your face and turned you to look at him. “Is that all you’re saying?”

Your head started to spin as you gazed back at Yeosang, taking in his curious stare and the way he leaned towards the two of you. Then back to Yunho, feeling somehow helpless and nervous at the prospect of it and yet, with shivers rushing down your spine from the idea of it.

“I-I- Couldn’t it be fun?” You finally said, feeling small.

Yunho looked up at Yeosang, colour rising in his cheeks as he spoke to him quickly, a nervous grin tugging at his lips. You hid your face in Yunho’s chest as they talked but you heard Yeosang shifting closer and your heart was pounding in your ears as different ideas, different images all started to rush into your mind.

You felt Yunho’s hand slip under your chin, finally lifting your face to look up. You followed their gaze upwards to the flowers along the ceiling. They bloomed slowly and what looked like fine, yellow pollen started to fall from his flowers. Your eyelids fluttered as the scent hit your nose and you breathed it in.

“What is that?” you hummed, relaxing against Yunho.

“It will… help us to not be awkward,” he replied before pressing a kiss to your jaw. Yeosang murmured something as he shifted a little closer, looking between the two of you with more intensity now.

“I’ve found it can,” Yunho’s voice was low as he murmured against your jaw and a rush of arousal ran through you. “Help turn people on.”

You let your hand fall into the moss as you finally met Yunho’s lips. Yeosang’s fingers found yours and you sighed against Yunho’s lips at the calm feeling that washed over you at his touch, a cool, refreshing feeling rolling through your body. Yeosang pressed his lips to the base of your neck, kissing you slowly and drawing his fingers in shapes over your skin that left a cool feeling in their wake.

Yeosang whined against your shoulder, murmuring something to Yunho who broke your kiss to answer. You gazed at Yeosang and a grin tugged at your lips when you saw the way his body was wrapped in Yunho’s vines just as you were, pulling him closer.

Yunho caught your lips again, his tongue pressing past them and the kisses growing deeper and sloppier. You let your free hand slip up and tangle into his hair. Yeosang’s fingers started to trail up your arm as his lips kissed slowly along your collarbone. His fingers moved until they met the strap of your shirt, next to his lips. He seemed to hesitate for a moment before pulling the strap down slowly, pulling your bra strap with it.

Yunho’s lips moved down to kiss along your jaw and you felt him smile as a vine curled around your other shirt strap, pulling it off your shoulder as well. His lips trailed down your neck slowly, stopping to suck at your skin and leave marks in their wake. You let your eyes flutter shut as you breathed deeply, though your heart was starting to race and butterflies tickled your stomach as they kissed lower, closer and closer to revealing your chest.

Not like Yunho hadn’t seen you naked dozens of times. That itself didn’t make you nervous. Maybe Yeosang did a little but if anything, it was suddenly having both of them focusing on you making you shy as they kissed down your body. Your breathing seemed to pick up on it’s own and you gripped Yunho’s hair just a little tighter.

“You’re so beautiful,” he murmured, as if on cue. You peeked down to find him giving you a sweet smile before kissing along the top of your breast gently. You felt Yeosang’s hand slip into yours, fingers entwining and the feeling of calm washed over you again as he murmured “So beautiful” against your skin.

You let out a deep sigh, relaxing more as they pushed the cups of your bra down gently, Yunho letting out a quiet hum while Yeosang let out a low groan. You bit down on your lower lip as Yeosang ran his tongue over your nipple gently. Yunho kissed back up your neck and jaw as a thin vine curled around your body and then around your breast.

A whimper slipped past your lips as the vine wrapped around your nipple and tugged gently. Yunho’s lips found yours and he grinned into the kisses as you let out small whimpers and moans.

You let your hand fall from his hair and slip down his chest as you shifted a little in his lap. You let your hand purposely slow as you moved down his lower stomach, listening to his breath hitch and feeling him shift his hips. Your hand finally made it into his lap and you slowly started to palm him through his pants.

Yeosang let out a small whimper around your nipple and you pulled your hand away from his, feeling along his thighs and feeling the way heat rushed to your face and between your legs as you felt how hard he was. Some amount of confidence started to seep into you as both of them moaned and pressed into your hands.

You dragged Yunho’s bottom lip between yours as you pulled back from the kiss, smirking at the lust filled look in his eyes. You both gazed at Yeosang, his expression hazy and desperate and his lips still wrapped around your nipple. Yunho brought his lips to your neck as you moved your hands to the waist of his pants, moving out of his lap gently and slipping his pants down past his hips. His moans grew whiner as you turned to Yeosang, slipping him out of his pants as well before wrapping a hand around each of their cocks.

Both of them let out beautiful moans as you started to pump them and tease the tips of their cocks, their sounds muffled against your skin. Yunho’s fingers slid along your thighs and you parted them for him, feeling his vine wrap just a little tighter around your nipple as he groaned against your neck, his fingers easily pushing into your pants and between your legs.

You let out a moan as his fingers dragged through your folds, gathering your arousal before teasing your clit slowly. Sparks of pleasure ignited within you and you started to slip into desperation, pumping each of them a little faster and letting your head fall back as you rocked your hips down, following the movements of Yunho’s fingers.

Moans fell from all of your lips as you each moved your hips, desperate for more contact, more sensation. Yunho’s and Yeosang’s moans were muffled against your skin but each of yours had them bucking into your hands and groaning against you. You heard Yeosang’s moans grow whiny as his lips started to move up your chest until he could nip at your ear.

“Please,” he hummed. “More.”

Heat rushed through you and you let out a low moan at his words and all of Yunho’s vines wrapped you both a little tighter as he raised his gaze, heated and lust filled as he regarded Yeosang before pressing a kiss under your ear.

“I agree,” Yunho murmured smoothly. “Let’s move on.”

You bit down on your lip and nodded, feeling his vines shift on you before he was gripping at your shirt to pull it off and Yeosang’s hand was sliding up your back to undo your bra. You sighed at the feeling of their fingertips on your skin, moving lightly but you were already sensitive enough for it to add to your arousal.

Yunho’s hands travelled down to your hips, properly pulling off your pants as Yeosang pressed kisses along your shoulders and his fingertips came up to play with your nipples, sending a cool feeling rushing through you as pleasure sparked within your body. Your heavily lidded gaze slipped down to Yunho, fingers pushing your thighs apart and smirking up at you. You leaned back into Yeosang and spread your legs a little wider for him, letting out small gasps as his tongue licked at your folds and over your clit.

A few whimpers fell from your lips but they were short lived as Yunho pulled away, his gaze meeting Yeosang’s over your shoulder. He spoke quickly to him as you squirmed, feeling impatient for more and he soothed you, rubbing his hand comfortingly over your thigh until he started to chuckle.

You looked back at Yeosang to see him blushing, seeming to stumble a little over his words but a nervous grin tugging at his lips. You looked between the two of them until Yeosang was nodding and moving away from you whined at the loss of contact, a pout jutting out your lower lip. Yeosang and Yunho slipped off their pants fully and Yeosang his sweater as Yunho grinned at you.

“Don’t worry, sweetheart,” Yunho hummed. “Lay down for me.”

You laid back in the soft moss and a squeal fell from your lips as Yuhno flipped you onto your side quickly. You caught the smirk on his face as he rolled onto his side and shifted between your legs, wrapping you in vines to keep you steady. Your eyes met Yeosang’s catching the desperate, heated look he wore as he laid down too and you finally caught onto Yunho’s idea.

As Yeosang moved his hips towards you, you reached out and wrapped your hand around his cock, urging him closer to you. He let out a low moan as you took the tip of his cock into your mouth, vines wrapping around him as well and Yunho sucking your clit between his lips to draw a moan from you.

You peeked at Yeosang, savouring his pants and moans as he moved a little closer to Yunho, colour tinting his cheeks and gaze hazy as he took Yunho’s cock into his mouth and Yunho groaned against your core, sending vibrations of pleasure shooting through you.

You moaned and let your eyes fall closed, trying to focus your mind on teasing the underside of Yeosang’s cock with your tongue, the way he rocked his hips into your mouth and moaned around Yunho. Your hand moved slowly on the base of his cock, twisting slightly and finally taking more of him into your mouth.

Yunho’s tongue dragged through your folds, growing more feverish as Yeosang sucked him off. He focused his attention on your sensitive clit, running his tongue over it just the way you liked and gripping your hips tightly as they tried the buck and roll against his face, desire burning bright inside you.

Pleasure sparked through you, the flame burning hotter and hotter by the second. Yunho’s tongue knew you too well by now and he had you coming undone for him far too fast, thighs trembling slightly as your hips moved against his face in a plea for more, moans muffled by the cock between your lips.

You let out soft curses and moans around Yeosang as you took him as deeply as you could into your mouth, sucking him off quickly. His and Yunho’s moans only served to turn you on more, mind spinning and body burning as you started to climb towards your edge, your free hand gripping Yeosang’s hip tightly.

Yunho let his tongue dip into your heat, unable to stop himself from groaning at your taste and hips bucking into Yeosang’s mouth, drawing a whimper from the nymph, his hips bucking gently towards you as you hollowed your cheeks around him.

You heard Yunho curse between your legs before running his tongue over your clit and sucking it between his lips. Each of you bucked and rolled your hips into the others mouths, letting out muffled moans, Yunho’s hands and vines holding your tightly as a nearby flower burst open.

Yunho let out a beautiful moan against you and Yeosang a muffled whine as Yunho released into his mouth, bucking and thrusting as he came. He let out a few pants against you before sucking your clit between his lips harshly.

You cried out around Yeosang’s cock as you came. Your release crashed over you and your thighs squeezed in around his head as you rolled your hips and rode out your high on his tongue. The sensations sucked you under into bliss, panting and whimpering as sensitivity took over your body.

Yunho sat up slowly, pulling you up along with him and kissing you deeply. Arousal rushed through you at your own taste on his lips and as you heard Yeosang’s whine, you reached out behind yourself, finding his hand and pulling him a little closer. He sat up shakily, kissing up your neck and moving up your check until you shifted to kiss him, moaning quietly at the taste of Yunho’s cum on his lips, fingers tugging at Yunho’s hair.

“Yunho, lay down for me,” you hummed, a thought forming in your hazy head. Yunho regarded you curiously before doing what you asked. You pulled Yeosang with you as you moved around until you were between Yunho’s legs. You gave him a smirk as you wrapped your hand around his cock and kissed the tip, then lifted your hips at the air, gazing back over your shoulder at Yeosang and wiggling your hips.

“You haven’t cum get, Yeosang.”

Yeosang said something, and despite you not knowing the word you were sure it was a curse as he moved behind you, groaning as he ground his cock against your ass and his hands found your hips. You pressed back against him as your eyes met Yunho’s and he groaned, taking in the sight and already sensitive as you started to tease his cock with your tongue.

Yeosang guided his cock into you slowly, letting a beautiful deep moan fall from his lips as he sunk his cock into you. You let out a moan and Yunho’s fingers threaded into your hair, vines curled up your arms and small flowers blooming on them as he guided your mouth onto his cock, heat burning in his intense gaze.

Yeosang pulled his hips back before thrusting into you and your thighs trembled as you moaned around Yunho’s cock, eyes fluttering shut as pleasure rushing through your body. Yunho let out a breathy chuckle.

“You look so fucked out already, sweetheart,” he teased. “You need to make sure you moan loud enough to let him know.”

Yunho spoke to Yeosang and the way they spoke, the deep tones of their voices made your head spin and had you clenching around Yeosang as you hollowed your cheeks around Yunho and his hand pushed your head down just a little more on his cock.

Yeosang’s pace picked up, thrusts becoming rougher. The pleasure in your core mixed with a cool, intense feeling rushing through you from his touch. The sensation had you trembling as Yunho started to rock up into your mouth. A sweet smell surrounded you again as more pollen fell around all of you and each of you moaned, arousal rushing through you.

Yeosang began to snap his hips into you, chasing the high that had already been close at hand. His movements pushed you forward onto Yunho’s cock and you relaxed your jaw as much as you could, taking him deeper into your mouth as you did your best to suck him off. You heard Yeosang’s voice, breathy and low as your name fell off his lips over and over like a mantra. Your movements on Yunho’s cock grew more messy but he didn’t seem to mind, guiding your head and letting out groans. Drool started to slip from the corners of your mouth and your body shook.

Pleasure rushed through you and you felt Yunho’s vines curl around you tightly. Each thrust into your heat was like a wave of pleasure taking over you and had you pressing your hips back messily for more. The coil inside you curled tighter and tighter as Yunho bucked up into your mouth. You felt vines curl around your nipples and tug them, far more harshly than earlier and nearly overwhelming you with sensations.

You clenched around Yeosang, shaking and moaning so incredibly close to your edge again. Yeosang’s hips snapped into you roughly, beautiful sounds falling off of his lips and grip on your hips tight. Each deep, quick movement building until your eyes rolled back and fluttered shut from the pleasure as you moaned out around Yunho’s cock.

Yeosang pulled out fully, pumping his cock over your back as he let out gorgeous low moans. His cum landed on your ass, dripping down and slipping down to the small of your back, a calming feeling soaking into you from his release. He collapsed into the soft moss beside you, panting.

Yunho was quick to flip you onto your back, drawing a gasp from your lips as your needy gaze caught his. His lips crashed against yours as he wedged himself between your legs and sunk his cock into your heat, both of you on the edge of cumming again.

His hips snapped against yours as he moaned against your lips, and your fingers dug into the soft moss beneath you as pleasure rushed through you from each of his rough thrusts. The coil in your core curled impossibly tight as you built closer and closer to your peek, thighs shaking and squeezing around Yunho’s waist.

You felt Yeosang’s fingers touch yours. His lips pressed lazily against your shoulder as his panting slowly calmed. He pulled your hand from the moss and laced his fingers with yours again. A small whine left his lips as he sent a rush of sensation through your body, refreshing and cool and at the same time extremely arousing.

Your back arched off the ground below as you cried out. You clenched hard around Yunho as you came. Your eyes squeezed shut and stars burst in your vision and you felt dizzy as you body shook hard. Pleasure crashed over you in a wave as your orgasm reached every inch of your body, sensations rushing through you to your fingertips and toes and the feeling dragging out, your body continuing to cum as Yunho snapped his hips into you and your cries turned to screams.

Yunho let out low moans and his hips grew sloppy as he fucked you through your orgasm, his own thighs trembling from the effort but his hips not letting up as his lips fell against your neck, your name falling off his lips over and over.

As you started to come down your entire body trembled. Yunho’s hips stuttered to a stop as he released inside you and let out a loud moan, holding you as tight as he could. His breaths came out shaky as he ground against you shallowly until he’s finished riding out his high.

Yunho’s body was trembling as he pulled out of you before collapsing into the moss on your other side, panting heavily and reaching out for your hand. You laced your fingers with his and squeezed both of their hands.

“That was so good,” you breathed.

“I see now why you both… often kick me out,” Yeosang hummed. You felt heat rush to your face but Yeosang let out a chuckle and squeezed your hand. “Do not worry, I will not join in every time.”

“I don’t think she’d mind if you did,” Yunho laughed, though it was cut short, morphing into a groan as you kneed him in the thigh.

“I’m not the only one,” you let your head fall to the side and took in the pink on his cheeks and the sheepish grin on his lips. “I wasn’t the only one enjoying myself.”

“Then,” You turned your head and your heart melted a little at the deep blush on his cheeks. “May I join you�� sometimes?”

Yunho rolled onto his side, pressing a kiss to your shoulder. “I think so,” he hummed.

“Absolutely,” you smiled, pressing a sweet kiss to his lips.

#in bloom #ateez imagines #ateez smut #yunho imagines #yunho smut #jeong yunho imagines #jeong yunho smut #yeosang imagines #yeosang smut #kang yeosang imagines #kang yeosang smut

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allhailkingrooker51 · 6 years ago

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So, there’s this guy...

that y’all may know that I’m freakin’ madly in love with. He goes by the name Michael Rooker. 😜 I finally got to meet him. Here’s my story...*Law & Order noise*

Fandemic Houston Day 1 - September 14, 2018

My alarm went off at 7:30 a.m. I was already awake though. I had hardly slept at all. I had hardly slept the last two months for that matter as September 14th got closer. I couldn’t remember ever being this excited for anything in my entire life. This was going to be the best weekend ever.

I jumped out of bed, got ready, and packed the car, mostly with Rooker memorabilia. I hadn’t officially decided what all I wanted him to autograph yet so I brought a little of everything – some of my Rooker Funkos, all my Yondu, Merle, and Chick Gandil trading cards, and my all-time favorite Rooker picture printed out as an 8X10. I mapped out the directions to the NRG Center on my phone and swung by to pick up my best friend who I’ve known since kindergarten. After a little detour to Chick-fil-a to get some breakfast, we were on our way to Fandemic Houston.

My friend doesn’t know much about Rooker. As far as his movies, she had only seen Vol. 1 and Vol. 2. I had sent her various Rooker videos on YouTube, though, for her to watch as “homework” like the Into the Night doc with James Gunn and the Inside of You podcast with Michael Rosenbaum. The whole way down to Houston, I told her as many Rooker stories as I could think of. She had a lot of catching up to do before she met the greatest person on this planet.

Things were going great. We were making good time on the road. My friend seemed entertained with the Doug Loves Movies podcast with the cast of Super, including Rooker and the Gunn Bros., that I was forcing her to listen to. Then things suddenly changed.

I had been having bad feelings about this trip even months before. Meeting Michael Rooker would be my biggest dream come true, but every time I paid for something for Fandemic, whether it was the hotel or Rooker VIPs or Sean Gunn's autograph, I was just waiting for the ball to drop and I wouldn’t be able to go. I never really get to do anything fun ever, and in the back of my mind, something was going to go wrong. Something always does. And something did.

We were cruising down interstate about an hour outside of Houston. It began to rain. No big deal. I turned on the windshield wipers, and we continued laughing with the podcast on the radio. Then I noticed the passenger side windshield wiper was doing this little fish-tailing action every time it went across the windshield. I had just had new windshield wipers installed two days earlier, but I hadn’t had to use them yet, and I thought, “You know, that doesn’t look right.”

Then I noticed the one in front of me started to do the same thing. Just as I opened my mouth to tell my friend there's something wrong with the windshield wipers, the rain started coming down like a monsoon and both wipers flew off my car with an almost comical synchronized whoosh.

Well, fuck.

Somehow, by the grace of God, I was able to cross over two lanes of busy interstate to the shoulder without causing a 15-car pileup. Once the mini panic attack of trying to safely get to the side of the road subsided and after I dropped a plethora of choice curse words, I turned on my hazards and began to think. What the hell are we gonna do?

It was raining fucking cats and dogs, and I couldn’t see shit. Think! Plan B. Plan B. Wait, what was plan B? I wasn’t expecting this. We didn’t even have a plan B.

Should we just wait out the rain for a bit? Maybe it would stop soon. But I had already checked the weather earlier, and it was supposed to rain all day.

This can’t be happening. The greatest day of my life and I’m stranded on the interstate in a deluge with no windshield wipers three and a half hours away from home. And to top it all off, I have a pre-purchased Sean Gunn/Rooker photo op in a few hours that I couldn’t miss. This was not good.

We sat there for a few minutes hoping the rain would subside enough for me to at least get us off the highway. We started googling the nearest auto parts store while we waited. There was one less than a mile away.

Vehicles were flying past me in a blur, and the fear of someone plowing into the back of my car took over. I knew we had to get off the interstate as soon as possible. Luckily an exit was about 50 feet away, and I had to try for it. With the rain letting up just a tad, and with my friend looking out the passenger side window and guiding me along the edge of the asphalt, I managed to creep off the interstate shoulder going about three miles per hour onto the service road. I could still barely see, but I felt a little more relieved being off the interstate.

The rain kept coming. My view through the windshield looked the exact same as when I don’t have my contacts in. Everything was blurry as shit. I continued my snail-like pace, my eyes concentrating simultaneously on the taillights of the cars ahead of me and the fuzzy, white dashes of the lane to my near left.

I crept through the next red light and made a left. Not far down the road, there it was. We had made it. I had never been so happy to see an Autozone in my entire fucking life. We went inside, explained what had happened, bought two new windshield wipers, this time properly installed, and once again we were on our way.

It stopped raining about 20 minutes later.

Looking back now, the whole situation was funny as hell.

Despite our little automotive dilemma, we still got to the NRG Center 15 minutes before Fandemic started. I parked the car, turned off the ignition, and checked in with my Rooker Hooker friends online to let them know I made it. Then I sat frozen in my seat.

“I don’t think I can do this,” I told my friend. My nerves were getting the best of me. She assured me that I could, in fact, do this. I had to do this. I’m so glad she went with me. I knew she wouldn’t let me back out of anything. I made sure I had my things, took a deep breath and forced myself to get out of the car.

We made it inside the convention center, and a woman in a red Fandemic shirt directed us to the VIP ticket window. (Every staff member we came across at Fandemic was absolutely awesome, by the way. Even the C.E.O. was greeting every guest with a handshake and a hello as you entered through security.)

I went up to the window and handed over my paper tickets to exchange for our Rooker VIP badges. While the worker scanned the tickets, I looked behind her to the table along the back wall. It was covered from one end to the other with plastic bins. Each bin was labeled by name and full of red VIP lanyards for each corresponding celebrity – Jeffrey Dean Morgan, Norman Reedus, Bruce Campbell, Tom Welling, etc.

The lady finished scanning my tickets and turned to get our VIP badges from the bins. Only there wasn’t a bin for Rooker. She couldn’t find them. I started to panic a little inside. I mean it’s obvious I bought them. I had the paper tickets as proof. They were in her hand for Pete’s sake. She looked down at the paper again and walked the length of the table for the second time. Still no luck. I really started to worry. Of course, my initial thought is the ball is dropping again. First my windshield wipers, and now this.

I couldn't hear what she was saying behind the window, but her mouth was moving as I watched her hand my paper over to another worker. This worker checked the paper, and they both walked over towards the middle of the table. There laying between two bins was a little Ziploc bag with Rooker’s name on it with maybe four or five VIP badges in it. I turned to my friend, who had been out of eyesight of what just happened, stuck out my bottom lip and said, “Awww, my poor baby. He only has a Ziploc bag of VIPs, and we have two of ‘em.” I don’t know why, but it made me love him even more.

After a bag check and a wanding from security, we finally made it onto the convention floor. I was one giant walking ball of nerves as we went through those doors. I was in the same room as Michael Rooker! On one hand, I couldn’t wait to see him. On the other, I was afraid I was gonna faint and fall out on the floor right in front of all the Deadpools and Negans and Harley Quinns.

We decided to bypass the vendors and headed straight to the autograph booths. Granted we were still a little early, so none of the celebs had made it to their tables yet. Rooker’s booth was already filling up. There were about 20 people or so already waiting. My friend asked if I wanted to go ahead and get in line. I couldn’t. My feet wouldn’t move. I wasn’t ready. I had to see him first. From afar. Then maybe I’d get the courage to go talk to him.

The whole time things were going down, I was checking in with my Rooker friends online, giving them play-by-plays of what was happening and taking their encouragement to heart. I was gonna need it all.

My friend and I decided to walk around a little more and found ourselves standing near the back row of the autograph tables. That’s when I saw celebs start to trickle through the curtain in the corner and head to their booths.

Every time those red and black curtains moved, my heart stopped thinking it would be him. Sean Gunn and Chris Sullivan came out together. There went Sean Patrick Flanery. And then Bruce Campbell. I knew Rooker couldn’t be far behind.

Minutes later, the curtains moved once more, and there he was. Everything seemed to be moving in slow motion as he walked the floor in front of me. He wore his black leather jacket and blue sunglasses, a white v-neck t-shirt, his newest Penman hat and a giant smile on his face. Somehow, I managed to stop my hands from shaking to take a few pics before he disappeared into his booth, his boisterous voice loud as he greeted his awaiting fans.

After my heart rate returned to a somewhat normal rhythm, we walked around towards the front of his booth. We looked on from a distance as I stood there silently building up my confidence to go get in his line. I told my online Rooker friends that I wasn’t sure I could do this. They again told me I could. I loved him too much not to, they said. And they were right.

I knew I needed to go get in line, but I just couldn’t take that first step. But I had to do it. I had come too far, and I had too many cool things to show him rather than stand there and stare at him like a creeper. I had to jump off that cliff. Take that plunge. Just like ripping a Band-Aid off with the sweetest reward waiting for me right after.

One of the Fandemic workers near his booth was walking around with an inflatable pickle. He told her he wanted to sign it. He autographed the pickle, and as she walked away, he yelled out to her, “Don’t touch it for a little while. It’s still wet!” He knew exactly what he was doing, too. He laughed and then did that little shit-eating grin while biting his tongue. Y’all know which one I’m talking about. Watching him laughing and joking around with everyone started to put my mind at ease. This is Rooker we’re talking about. I’m gonna be fine. So, I did it. I put my big kid pants on and got in line.

The line was moving fairly quickly, but I made sure to sneak some more pics while I waited. I still couldn’t believe this was all real. Seeing him right there, mere feet away from me. Hearing that raspy voice in person. It was almost too much.

When I got about eight people away, I pulled out his headshots from my bag. I have several of Rooker’s old original headshots and resumes, and I couldn’t wait to see what his reaction was.

Now, don’t get me wrong. I was still a nervous wreck. A million things raced through my brain. What if I can’t talk when I get up there? What if he doesn’t like me? What if he thinks I’m weird? Even worse, what if he thinks I’m a batshit crazy stalker ‘cause I have his old headshots?

Then the weirdest thing happened. The closer I got to him, the less nervous I became. By the time I made it in front of him at that table, it was like I was about to say “hey” to an old friend. All the butterflies had flown away.

One of his helpers had already taken the headshot from me that I wanted Rooker to autograph to keep the line running smoothly. He handed it to Rooker and said, “Ohh, this is an oldie.”

Rooker greeted us as he took the headshot and he was like “Whoaaa” and smiled really big as I showed him the others. He got a kick out of them! He grabbed the oldest headshot, which was his first one, his hair super curly, and called over Sean Gunn and Chris Sullivan, who immediately left their tables to see what was going on. They both promptly busted out laughing when Rooker showed them. They cracked some jokes together and then Rooker said, “That was my first headshot, this is my last.” He walked over to me and showed me a pic of himself wearing no hat with his hair a FREAKIN’ mess on what I believe was Sean’s phone maybe, which in turn made him laugh even harder.

He walked back over to Sean and Sully, where Sully had since pulled up his own old headshot on his phone. Rooker busted out laughing again, and they compared their curly hair and then showed all the people in line their “white men afros” as Rooker put it.

The whole time I felt like I was in a dream watching this all take place. I mean I figured Rooker would think it was pretty cool seeing his old headshots and resumes, but I never thought it would have caused all this.

He came back over to me and thanked me for bringing the headshots and picked up a blue marker to sign the one I had picked out for his autograph.

Up until then, had that been the end of our interaction, I would have walked away from his table completely ecstatic. At that moment, I could have officially died happy. But it wasn’t over yet.

As he was signing the headshot, I told him that I had something to show him and to pick an arm. He looked a little perplexed and said, “Ummmm...your left.”

I sheepishly lifted up my shirt sleeve to show him my portrait tattoo of one of his Skillset magazine pictures. He said, “OMG.....you know what that’s from, right?” I kind of laughed and said, “Well, yeah.” He said, “That’s from my Skillset!” Then, I lifted up my right shirt sleeve to reveal my other Rooker portrait tattoo, this one a bald, serious-faced shot. He glanced at it really quick and said, “Oh yeah, Thanos, very cool.”

I laughed and said, “It’s not Thanos, it’s you!” I had to catch myself before I affectionately called him a dork at the end of that sentence. He said, “What?! Lemme see it again!” I lifted my sleeve, and he said again that it looks like Thanos, totally fucking with me. I said, “It’s not Thanos! Why would I have Thanos? You’re way hotter than Thanos!” He chuckled and said “Well, yeah, I’m hotter than Thanos! Fine, it’s a sexy Thanos.”

He then walked around his table, grabbed my shoulders, spun me around, yanked my shirt sleeve back up and proceeded to ask the crowd, very loudly I might add, if my tattoo looked like “Sexy Thanos” all the while laughing his ass off. Of course, the crowd agreed with him.

I didn’t even have time to think about being embarrassed. The next I thing knew, he turned back to me, smiled a huge Rooker smile, said I was awesome and reached out and caressed my face. I about passed out.

Rooker went back around his table to the headshots and started talking about his resumes stapled to the back. We talked for a couple of minutes trying to figure out the timeline of the headshots vs. the resumes vs. the talent agency he was with at the time.

The whole time he talked, I couldn’t take my eyes off of him. The way he smiled and chomped his gum, his eyes behind his blue sunglasses, his curls thick under his hat, his sexy voice, his chest hair poking out of the collar of his shirt. He is absolutely hypnotic. I was in heaven, y’all.

He grabbed the curly-haired headshot, smiled and said, “You know what? Just ‘cause you’re you, I’m gonna sign this one, too. It’s a 2-for-1 Rooker deal.” I, of course, was over the moon.

He signed it with the same blue marker and gave me a fist bump. I told him thank you and that I would see him tomorrow and that I had something even cooler for him to sign. He said, “Alright!”

I walked away on Cloud 9. Michael Rooker touched my face! I was freaking out. I couldn’t have asked for a better first meeting with Rooker.

A little while later, we were standing in line for the Rooker/Sean Gunn photo op when I realized that in the headshot/tattoo craziness earlier, I had forgotten to give Rooker the t-shirt I had brought as a gift for him. I wasn’t mad at myself, though. That just meant I got to go see him again.

When it came time for the photo op, Rooker came strutting over from his booth, grinning while biting his tongue in his teeth again. The whole weekend I never saw the man without a smile on his face.

For those of you who've never been to a comic con before, the photo ops go by fast. Like insanely fast. They shuffle you quickly into the booth, you stand next to the celeb, the photographer snaps the picture, and then you're shuffled back out just as fast as you came in.

Now don’t take this the wrong way. I'm not knocking the process by any means. It's completely understandable. There are literally hundreds of fans of many fandoms that they’re trying to accommodate. But just because it goes fast, doesn’t mean you won’t have a memorable experience.

The Gunn/Rooker photo op was my very first one of the weekend. When I got behind the curtain, Rooker immediately grabbed my arm, and pulled me between Sean and himself with a hearty “Get over here, woman!” I put my arms around them both, the photo was snapped, Rooker smiled really big and said “Thank you, sweetheart” as I walked away, him keeping his hand on my back ‘til I was out of his arm's reach.

The whole thing couldn’t have lasted for more than 45 seconds or so. But I didn’t care. Sean’s arm had been around my shoulder! I had touched the Rooker leather jacket! Rooker called me “sweetheart"! He touched my back! I was close enough to smell his minty-gum fresh breath! The Rooker legend that he smells of mint and leather is true! I couldn’t wait to do more ops with him.

After the photo ops, we headed over to the concession stand. We hadn’t gotten a chance to eat lunch, and we were starving. We got a little something to tide us over until dinner and went and sat down at a table in the little VIP reserved section. Not five minutes later, my phone went off with my Merle Dixon notification sound. It was an Instagram alert. ROOKER WAS LIVE!

I’ve seen a lot of Rooker Instagram live videos from cons before, but to see one in the making? No way I was gonna miss this! We jumped up, grabbed our stuff, and were off on the hunt for him. With the help of the Rooker Hookers directing me where to go, it didn’t take long to find him.

For nearly 30 minutes, we followed him from a distance watching him visit vendor booths, stop to play in the Batmobile and interact with fans, ending with a giant selfie back at his booth.

After the excitement of him Instagramming live died down and his line cleared a little, I decided to go give him his t-shirt. The lady taking the money at his booth, who was super freakin’ nice by the way and who would come to know us quite well by the end of the weekend, greeted us again with a smile.

I walked up to him at his table and said, “I'm back, Rooker!" He said, “Hey, Sexy!” Rooker called me sexy. I mean I'm totally not, but.. anyways. I only hoped my face wasn't as red as it felt. I said, “I forgot to give you this earlier,” and I handed him his shirt. I told him where I was from as he unfolded the shirt and spread it out on the table. One of my favorite things about Rooker is that he supports first responders and the armed forces. Without going into too many details, I gave him a fire department shirt from my hometown, where he's filmed a couple of things and has visited even when not filming. He said he loved my hometown and I explained to him that my stepdad is a police officer, and he had actually met Rooker years before on the set of one of his tv projects. I told him that my mom is a 911 dispatcher for the fire department where the shirt was from and that I had tried to get him a police department shirt, too, but I couldn’t get one in time.

He said he loved the shirt and we talked a couple more minutes and he told me to tell my parents thank you for all that they do. Then he said, “You know what? You get a selfie!” He came around his booth, stood right next to me, and held his shirt out while my friend snapped some pics. Again, I was over the moon. I had already gotten an extra autograph earlier, and now Rooker was breaking his rule about “No selfies" at his table. He then shook my hand and said thank you again and I told him I'd see him tomorrow. You couldn’t wipe the smile off my face.

Like Rooker's old headshots, I also had one of Sean Gunn and Jeffrey Dean Morgan. I had planned on getting Sean's autograph on Saturday, but since Rooker’s headshots had gone over so well earlier, I decided to go ahead and show Sean's to him then. After running back out to the car to get his headshot, we were off to see Seanie.

There wasn’t anyone at his table when we got back so I went right up to him with no hesitation, which was strange for me. I hadn’t talked to Sean yet, and I figured I would be extremely nervous. But just like Rooker, I was completely calm around Sean. They all really do treat you like old friends.

When I handed Sean the headshot, he got all excited, too. Sully came over to look at it and busted out laughing and cracked some jokes about Sean's shirt. Sean then hollered over at Rooker and held it up so Rooker could see. Rooker said, “OMG! You got one, too?!” Sean talked to me a little about his resume, too, and then asked if he could take a picture of it with his phone. Of course, I was like “Absolutely!” After he got his picture of his headshot, he came around the table and took some selfies with me. I then pulled out my phone and showed him my dog dressed as James Gunn from Halloween last year. I asked him if remembered Gunn sharing the picture, but he didn’t. I showed him my other dog dressed as Kraglin, too. He loved it! Especially his little mohawk.

We talked some more, and he kept saying how cool his headshot was and asked if I wanted him to sign it. He ended up signing it “To my friend, *my name*, I ❤️this! Sean Gunn”. Sean was an absolute sweetheart and I love him and I hope I get to see him again someday!

Chris Sullivan’s table was next. I hadn’t really budgeted in anything for Sully, but he was only charging 30$ for a selfie, and I thought “Hey, you only live once.” I’m so glad I did. Sully was a complete teddy bear! He was so sweet! And talllll!

We walked over, and I apologized for not having a headshot for him to sign. He laughed and showed us his headshot on his phone again. Then he realized he hadn’t introduced himself and stuck out his hand and said, “Hi, I’m Chris.” I shook his hand and told him my name, and then my friend did the same. My friend and I have the same name only with different spellings. Once introductions were made, Sully spent the next few minutes hilariously trying to figure out the correct spelling of my name. He never did get it right. I haven’t really seen a lot of Sully's roles, but he gained a lifelong fan that day.

After meeting Sean and Sully, we decided to call it a day. I couldn’t wait to see what day two had in store.

Fandemic Houston Day 2 – September 15, 2018

Just like the morning before, I was already awake when my alarm went off. I had a reeeeally cool thing to show Rooker, and the anticipation was damn near killing me.

We had to get to the convention center fairly early that morning. Rooker's panel was at 11:30 a.m., and I was hoping to get to visit him before his panel started. When we got to his booth, however, he wasn't scheduled to be at his table until after his panel. So, we just walked around a little until it was time to go upstairs to the panel room.

With our Rooker VIPs, we got really good seats at his panel. We were close to the stage, even though I knew he wouldn't be up there long.

While we waited for his panel to start, I was in a bit of a panic. If you’ve ever seen or been to a con panel, you know that usually the Q&A session is done by fans lining up at a microphone to ask their questions to the celebs on stage. If you’ve ever seen or been to a Rooker panel, you know he doesn’t play by those rules. He comes to you, whether you have a question or not! I was sitting on the end of the aisle, a prime position for Rooker to stop and talk to me during the Q&A. And I had no idea what I would ask him if he did.

I checked in with the Rooker Hookers online and asked them for any help they could give me to come up with a good question. It wasn't that I was nervous to ask Rooker a question, it was just I didn’t want to ask him one in front of all these people. If I was prepared, I wouldn’t be as embarrassed.

The Rooker Hookers all had really good suggestions, but some of them involving Rooker removing various articles of clothing, propositions more suited for an “after-dark" kind of Q&A. I love those guys. That's another one of my favorite things about Rooker. Being a part of his fandom has brought me together with people literally all over the world via Tumblr and Facebook. And everyone I’ve met has been awesome. And a special shout out to the Rooker Hookers for making me laugh over and over again, understanding my complete and utter Rooker obsession, for accepting me for who I am and being there for me even when we’re not talking about Rooker. I’m proud to call them my friends.

Rooker's panel was awesome as I knew it would be. He talked a lot about Henry and Merle. He ran around the audience answering questions about Yondu and Mallrats and flexed his biceps and even sang a little. My favorite, though, were his stories of what he was like as a kid and growing up in Chicago. At the end of his panel, he broke the rules once again and threw Hershey Kisses out to the audience after the powers that be told him not to throw anything. They shoulda known Rooker plays by his own rules. He is a livewire and an endless fireball of energy. He’s an absolute riot, and I'm so thankful I got to witness him in action at a panel.

When the panel was over and once we made it back through the security checkpoint, we headed back to Rooker's booth. I was so freaking excited to show him what I was holding in my hands.

His helper said hello and hole-punched my VIP lanyard for another autograph. I walked up to Rooker and said, “I'm back, Rooker, look what I got.” I sat down his screen worn Bud Melks orange coveralls from The Belko Experiment on the table. He said, “Oh, honey, let me sign those for you.” He didn’t realize they were his. I said, “These are the ones you wore in the movie.”

“These are the ones I wore in the movie?” He seemed genuinely surprised. I told him yep and showed him the little nametag on the inside collar that read “Bud 2”. He said, “Omg, that’s so cool, where did you get these?” I explained to him where I got them and that it also came with his t-shirt, jeans, and boots, too. He asked if I wanted him to sign them. I did, but it would be even better if I got him to put them on.

“Yeah, if you want to. Orrrr, you could cosplay as Bud today,” I joked.

He chuckled. “I could cosplay as Bud today? Ommgg. Yeah, I could. Or you could cosplay as Bud.”

I shook my head no and grinned. “Nooo, I don’t cosplay,” I replied. (I’m waaay too shy and self-conscious to cosplay.)

He leaned back on his stool, threw his head back and laughed. Rooker's laugh is one of my favorite things on this planet. And making him laugh was one of the greatest feelings in the world.

About that time, Sean's helper came over and took a picture of Rooker holding the coveralls up. She thought they were really cool, too. Rooker asked her, “Where's, Sean? He's gotta see these.” But Sean was still in the green room.

The coveralls have a huge rip on the backside so of course I had to know why. I was kidding around with Rooker and asked him, “What did you to ‘em?” He said, “Let's see,” as he unfolded them.

When he found the rip, he said, “Oh, oh, I squatted, and they ripped. Yeah, I squatted down, and they ripped. Like, when I was squatting down doing the door, they ripped. My whole bottom ripped out. And I was like, ‘Thank God the camera was on my face ‘cause if it was on my ass end my underwears would be showing.” We all burst into laughter.

We chatted a little bit more and he asked me again if I wanted him to sign them. I told him, “If you want to, yeah.”

“Where do you want me to put it? I’m gonna sign ‘em for you. You don’t have to pay, ok?”

I told him that I had already paid, though. He said, ”Oh, it was part of your VIP?” We then decided the best place for him to sign the coveralls was on the front pocket. He signed his name and said, “Bud, right?” I told him yes it was Bud, and he wrote Bud under his signature. Then he asked his helper to hand him the 8X10 of Bud he had available for autographs.

“Do we have one? Gimme that photo of Belko. I’m gonna give her a photo with this. This totally deserves a photo with this."

He took the photo and started signing his name.

“Here, all yours, baby. Here, I'm gonna put it like this.” He signed the pocket on Bud's coveralls in the picture the same exact way he signed the coveralls. He then held the picture next to the coveralls and said, “There, looks just like it." He busted out laughing and said, “That's for you. Thank you, honey. Oh my goodness.” He threw his hand up for a high-five. I thanked him and high-fived him back.

Trust me, I was elated for the handshakes and high-fives so far. (His hands are so soft by the way). But I was itching to get a hug. I didn’t know how many more chances I would get so I decided to just go for it. “Can I get a hug, Rooker? I gotta get a famous Rooker hug.” He hollered, “Get over here woman! Get over here! Give me a big hug, love.”

I walked behind his table and gave him a big hug and told him I'd see him later. He grabbed my hand as I walked away and said, “You're awesome, honey!” He didn’t let go of my hand as I told him that he makes me forget things and that I had another present for him but I had forgotten it in my car. He laughed and then he caught my friend recording the whole thing on her phone. He grinned and said, “Heyyyy, no video…” Busted. But he didn’t care.

After leaving Rooker, we had just enough time to scarf down some lunch and then head to Sean and Sully’s panel. When the panel started, the doors opened and there they were waiting on the other side. They had stolen a golf cart and hilariously failed at trying to drive it into the room for their grand entrance. So, Sully simply threw the golf cart in reverse, they both said “byyyyye” and he drove back down the hallway. A few seconds later they both came back in the room, Sully at a sprint which carried him around the entire audience and Sean walking slowly behind to the stage, announcing he was too old to run. Sully ended his dash with a Rooker-esque roll onto the stage, stood up and took a bow.

Their panel was amazing, too. They were both so, so funny. They talked a lot about Guardians and even threw in the story about Rooker mooning Dave and Pom on set, which led Sully into a comical conversation about mooning in general. They made me laugh so freakin’ hard. If you ever get the chance, definitely go to their panels. You won’t be disappointed.

We had planned on going to the Smallville panel a little later, but the line getting in the room was insane. I used to watch Smallville back in the day, but I had no idea how huge the fandom still is. It was pretty impressive. Because of the crowd, we decided to skip the panel and go see Rooker again.

We ran out to the car to get Rooker’s gift and then headed to his booth. I also made sure to bring the Belko coveralls again so Rooker could show Sean. I guess everyone was at the Smallville panel because the con floor was pretty empty. I was kind of glad. Hopefully, that meant I’d get to talk to Rooker for a good bit of time.

When we got there, his helper laughed and said, “You’re back, again? And with another gift?” I smiled and said yes. She joked, “You gotta stop buying him shit. He’s doing alright, you know.” I joked back, “I know, but I love him.” She understood though. I mean how can you not love Rooker?

About that time the fan talking with Rooker walked away, and I stepped up to him at the table. His helper announced to him, “She's back with another gift. She's like your sugar mama.” Rooker grinned that sexy Rooker grin and said, “Hey, Sugar Mama!” I joked, “Yeah, I’ll be your sugar mama. What you want? Anything? You need some more coffee? I’ll go get you some coffee.” He busted out laughing, and I handed him his gift.

I had gotten him a blue shot glass made from a 30mm shell casing that had been shot from an A-10 Warthog plane. I had it engraved with Michael “Yondu” Rooker on the side. I’m pretty sure he loved it! I had left it in the clear packaging, and he immediately ripped it open and lowered his glasses so he could read it better. I...saw...his...eyes...y’all. In person. Not hidden behind sunglasses. Don’t laugh. It was a very big moment for me.

He leaned over towards me on the table on his elbows and kept saying how cool the shot glass was and how he couldn’t wait to drink some whiskey out of it. He asked me how much whiskey I thought it would hold. I laughed and said I have no idea.

We talked some more and he thanked me and came around the table to give me another hug, this time trying to include my friend. She sort of backed away trying to give me all the glory of Rooker’s hug, but he pulled her in anyway. It was somewhat of an awkward, sideways hug, but I didn’t care. A Rooker hug is a Rooker hug! His arm ended up kind of across my neck right under my chin so I reached up and grabbed his arm as I hugged him. I...touched...his...bicep. It was..um..very nice.

When he pulled away from me, Sully walked over holding up an 8X10 of what I believe was of himself that someone had written on and showed it to Rooker. When Rooker read it he about fell on the floor laughing. He said, “Now, now, that’s nothing to be ashamed of!” He snatched the picture out of Sully’s hand and laid it on Sean’s table and began writing on it, too, laughing the whole time. Rooker’s helper asked if we had seen what was written on it. I had been trying not to be nosy, so I hadn’t. We told her no, and she said, “It said ‘When is the right time to talk to your doctor about erectile dysfunction.” My friend and I started laughing.

I turned back to Sean’s table, and Rooker was still writing on the picture saying, “There’s nothing wrong with erectile dysfunction!” Sean and I made eye contact and busted out laughing. Rooker then turned and walked back towards me with a huge grin, looked me right in the eye, and said, “There’s nothing wrong with a little erectile dysfunction...well, I mean there is something wrong with it, but...” He trailed off into a mischievous giggle. Y’all, I had never laughed so hard in my life.

When he realized I was holding the Belko coveralls, he immediately took them from me and whirled around to show Sean. “Sean, look what she has!” Sean came around his table and said, “Whoaaa, are those the real ones?” Rooker told him yes and explained how I got them and then held them up to show Sean the big rip in the back which made Sean laugh. Sean thought they were really neat, too.

Rooker came back over to me and was folding the coveralls up and said, “These are really beautiful. You know, not a lot of these exist. Thank you for bringing them to show me.” I told him they were my prized possession (which is the truth... they really are the coolest thing I own). He said, “C’mere, baby, you get a double hug!” He gave me another huge hug, this one a little longer than the first, and a little bit of my hair got caught in his scruff as I pulled away. I’m sure he didn’t even notice, but I certainly did. That scruff...

We walked back over to his table so I could get my bag. I had made a little drawstring bag specifically to wear at Fandemic to haul stuff around in. It says “I’m lost. If found, please return to Michael Rooker”. I showed it to him and he laughed really hard and gave me a high-five and said, “I love it! You’re so great.” We then said our goodbyes for the moment and off I went again.

That afternoon I had my Dixon Bros. photo op. While we were waiting in line, Rooker came over to the Photo Ops area and saw a family with a little baby boy in a stroller nearby. He made a beeline straight to the baby. The little boy pointed up to the ceiling and blabbered away at Rooker. Rooker looked up to the ceiling, too, and said, “OoooOooh,” and acted surprised at whatever imaginary thing the baby was pointing at. Rooker then baby-talked to him for a minute and tickled the little boy’s tummy before he left to go behind the curtain. Y’all, it was the sweetest thing I’ve ever witnessed.

When it came time for photos, as soon as I got behind the curtain, Rooker said, “Get over here, baby,” and again grabbed my arm and pulled me in between him and Norman Reedus. When I went to put my arms around them, my arm got caught on the bottom of Rooker's jacket, and I accidentally lifted it up about a third up his back. I heard him make this little chuckling sound as I fumbled to free my arm from underneath his jacket, my hand unintentionally rubbing his back. I’m not sure he knew what I was going for because the next thing I knew, he started rubbing my back. For the entire time. Even after the photo was taken and I was walking away, his hand was still rubbing on my back. Let me tell you, a Rooker backrub is everything you would imagine it to be, but at that moment, I was just a tad embarrassed. And my face in the photo pretty much showed it. But, oh well. If that was the only way I was ever going to get a Rooker backrub then it was worth it.

After the Dixon Bros. photo op, I went to go see Michael Rosenbaum who was super nice, too. I paid for a selfie, and he said, “Ohh, lemme take it!” I handed my phone over to him for what I thought would be just one picture. He wouldn’t stop taking pictures of us though, and one picture turned into a comical mini-photo shoot. Each time I thought it would be the last picture he would take so my facial expression changes to a higher state of silliness with each one. They’re hilarious, but let’s just say very few people have seen those pictures.

Day two was drawing to a close, and I decided that I might go see Rooker one more time before we left. We walked over to his booth which was empty at the moment. He was standing there eating chocolate covered pretzels and watching an artist drawing portraits of Harry Potter characters across the way. Anyone that knows Rooker knew what he was about to do next.

Rooker left so fast from his booth that he dropped a pretzel on the ground. He went directly over to the artist and asked him to play Santana over his speaker, jokingly rushing him along when the artist couldn’t find a Santana song quick enough. Rooker then grabbed a colored pencil and began to draw on the picture the artist had been working on.

Rooker messed around with the artist a couple more minutes before he returned to his booth. He took the time to take a few pictures with some fans that had gathered around, joked with the little kids, and danced to the songs the artist was still playing before he finally left for the day. I didn’t get to talk to him again, but just watching him dancing was enough for me.

When we were headed back to the car that afternoon, I told my friend, “I can’t remember ever being this happy before. Seriously, these last two days have been the best days of my life.” I’m like a lot of people in that I struggle with depression and anxiety and self-image and the feeling that I’ll never be good enough. But with Rooker, he makes all that disappear. I don’t think he’ll ever realize how much he means to me and how important he is in my life.

Fandemic Houston Day 3 – September 16, 2018

I had been awake since 4 a.m. on day three. I couldn’t wait to see Rooker, but I couldn’t stop thinking that this was going to be my last day with him. I didn’t want the weekend to end.

I spent the early morning hours before my alarm rang making a detailed schedule and an even more detailed script in my head of all the things I wanted to say to him before the con closed at 4 p.m. I still had my two solo photo ops with him, too, and one last gift to give him. More importantly, I wanted to make sure I got the chance to tell him thank you and goodbye before I left. And I had to fit it all in between getting my Jeffrey Dean Morgan autograph and photo op.

It was about 10:15 a.m. when we got to the NRG center that morning. I was hoping I'd get to talk to Rooker first thing. I had one last picture for him to sign, which had something to do with a special request for our photo op. He wasn’t at his booth when we finally got inside, though, so I decided to get in Jeffrey Dean’s line to get his autograph about 10:30 a.m.

A fairly big crowd had already gathered for Jeffrey Dean. But my Rooker photo ops weren’t until 1 p.m. and my Jeffrey Dean op was at 2:10 p.m. I figured I would have plenty of time to see Rooker before our photo ops.

We were again standing in the perfect spot to watch all the celebs come out from behind the curtain. A little after 11 a.m. they all started to trickle out. And, y’all, when Rooker finally walked out? Dayuuumm, daddy. He wasn’t sporting his usual leather jacket paired with a black or navy or white v-neck t-shirt look. He wore a black button-up shirt with the collar unbuttoned low and looked sexy...as…hell. I mean the man always looks sexy as hell, but...well, y’all know what I mean. I immediately checked in with the Rooker Hookers and told them Rooker’s wardrobe choice for the day. Again, don’t laugh. I just get excited when he switches things up.

We were still waiting in Jeffrey Dean's line when they made a huge announcement around 11:30 a.m. Norman Reedus had to leave the con early. All the Walking Dead photo ops had to be bumped up. I started to panic a little.

My Jeffrey Dean photo stayed at 2:10 p.m., but Rooker and Norman were supposed to have Dixon Bros. photo ops at 3:25 p.m. The con closed at 4 p.m. so I figured Rooker would probably be leaving right after. But I had to tell Rooker goodbye before we left. I just had to. Now I was afraid with all the photo ops being bumped around I wouldn’t get to.

Noon came and Jeffrey Dean's line had hardly moved. He had only been out at his table for maybe 45 minutes or so and now his time would be even more limited because the photo ops had to be moved up. His line was so long that they ended up bumping the people who had pre-purchased an autograph up in line. That included me. Whew. We had gotten closer but were still so far away. The minutes were counting down until my Rooker photo ops. I was a nervous wreck. If I stayed in Jeffrey Dean's line, I would be cutting it reaaaally close.

I left my friend in line and went to explain my situation to one of the Fandemic workers nearby. I told him I had Rooker photo ops at 1 p.m. and if I didn’t make it up to Jeffrey Dean would I be able to get a refund for his autograph. I didn’t want to get a refund. I love Jeffrey Dean and had been looking forward to meeting him and getting his autograph. But I couldn’t miss my Rooker photo ops. That was completely out of the question. The worker looked at his watch and told me that I would make it, but if it got too close, he would move me up in line. That made me feel a little better.

I got back in line, but I couldn’t stop checking my phone for the time. I really needed to show Rooker the picture I wanted him to autograph before our photo ops. The minutes were ticking away and the line was barely moving. Finally, about 12:30 p.m., I left my friend again in line and went to go see Rooker.

I went over to Rooker's table and paid his helper for another autograph. She asked if I wanted to pick out a picture, but I told her I already had one. She said, “Ooh, can I see?” I showed her and told her it was my all-time favorite picture of Rooker, and I was hoping I could get him to do the same pose for our photo op. She loved it and told me that he had done a similar pose the day before. Aaah, there was a chance.

I walked up to Rooker holding the picture against me so he couldn’t see it right away. I asked him, “Will you sign one more thing for me? I was also wondering if you’d reenact it for our photo op today.” He just grinned and said, “It depends. Lemme see it.” At that moment, I was so glad there wasn’t anyone else around. I had no idea what his reaction would be.

I told him it was my all-time favorite picture of him and handed it over. He instantly busted out laughing when he saw what it was. In the picture Rooker has his shirt lifted, one hand pointing to his nipple and a ginormous smile on his face. He asked me where I even got it. I told him I found it on the internet. I reminded him about one of the Rooker Hookers meeting him and having him sign his naked ass from Mallrats. He laughed and said he remembered that. “I’m just carrying on the tradition of having you sign off the wall pictures,” I said.

He told me that he doesn’t normally sign pictures like that, but for me, he would. While he signed it, I told him that I had two photo ops with him and that they couldn’t be the same and asked him again if he would do that same pose for one of them. He laughed and said no. Then he took off his glasses completely to look at the picture more closely. I...saw...his...eyes again for a long time. He was trying to remember where the picture was taken and what the hell he was doing. He said the glasses he was wearing were his old ones and that he didn’t have them anymore and the shirt he had on was his old Harley Davidson shirt. I was too embarrassed to tell him I knew the picture was taken at James Gunn’s old house. I was afraid yet again that he would think I was a batshit crazy stalker.

We talked about the picture a little more and then he looked up at me laughing and said, “You dork.” Rooker called me dork. Out of all the things he called me that weekend “dork” was definitely my favorite. I begged him one more time to do that pose for our photo. He just laughed and shook his head and said, “No.” again. Unfortunately, I didn’t get to talk to him very much longer because I had to hurry to get back in line for Jeffrey Dean so I told Rooker I’d see him later.

My friend hadn’t made it very far when I joined her back in line. By then it was pushing 12:40 p.m. I was starting to get nervous again. I only had 20 minutes left until Rooker photos, and the line was...moving...so...slow.

About 12:55 p.m., there were only three people ahead of me in line. Jeffrey Dean was right there. Surely I would make it in time. He finished visiting with the fan he was talking to, and I heard him tell one of his handlers that he needed to take a break. Uh oh. Panic mode. I went up to his other handler and explained that I had Rooker photo ops at 1:00 p.m. which was in three minutes. She said, “Ok, no problem.” She went up to Jeffrey Dean and told him my dilemma. I felt horrible cutting in line, but I got to meet him real quick before he went on his break.

He gave me a huge hug when I went up to him. (Jeffrey Dean gives amazing hugs by the way and is one of the nicest human beings I’ve ever met. Annnnd even sexier...as...hell in person). I handed him the headshot I had of him and he said, “Oh, fuuuuck, this is awesome!” I said, “You were a baby. Lookit you.” He said, “I was a baby!” He then turned it over to look at his resume, and was like “Whooa, this is a loooong time ago! You know awhile back when everyone was sharing their first headshots for “Headshot Day” on Instagram and shit, I didn’t have one. I shoulda called you.” That would be the dream I thought. I snickered and said, “Uh, yeaaah, you totally could have called me!” He laughed and we talked some more about his headshot. Then he asked me if I wanted him to sign it to me or just with his name. I told him that he could put my name if he wanted and he personalized his autograph for me. I told him “thank you” and he said, “Oh, you’re very welcome and it’s nice to meet you.” He gave me another huge, extra-tight hug, and said, “Tell Rooker I said ‘hey’,” as I told him bye. Gahhh, I’m still gushing over Jeffrey Dean, too!

After I left Jeffrey Dean, we booked it over to the photo op line. We were a few minutes late, but luckily Rooker hadn’t made it over there yet so the photo ops hadn’t actually started. A few minutes later Rooker came over and went behind the curtain. He was holding some sort of arrow thingy? With a bullet on the end? I still have no idea what it was.

When I got behind the curtain for our photos, Rooker pulled me to him and I put my arm around his lower back right above his waist. His shirt was so silky, and I could feel his lil’ love handles. Swoon. He put his arm over my shoulder and kind of threw his head back with a smug look on his face for the first photo. The Rooker Hookers say it was his “Yeah, this is my Sugar Mama” pose. I’m not sure if that’s what he was going for, but I like that idea.

After the photographer took the first photo, Rooker went to tell me thank you like he had done the previous days. I told him though that I had two photo ops. (I had told my friend that if she would go with me to Fandemic I would buy all the tickets, and she didn’t want to take any pictures so I used the photo op that came with her VIP ticket). He said, “Oh, you have two?” I shook my head yes and replied, “What are we gonna do, Rooker? They can’t be the same.” He looked at me, thinking for a second, and then grabbed my necklace. I have a necklace with a little silver bullet on it (or I did...it broke like two weeks after Fandemic.) He held the bullet in his fingers and said, “You show off your bullet, I’ll show mine,” meaning the little arrow thingy he was holding. So, I held up the bullet on my necklace and he held out the arrow thing for the second picture. I personally never would have thought up that pose, but it made him laugh and that’s all that mattered to me. And I got another short bonus Rooker backrub as we said goodbye.

A little while later, I had my photo op with Jeffrey Dean. He gave me a big hug for our picture. I’m horrible at taking pictures, but that one actually turned out the best out of all the ops I had that weekend.

After Jeffrey Dean, it was pretty much time to go. As much as I didn’t want to, it was time to go see Rooker for the last time and tell him goodbye.

Rooker had an 8X10 of Sean as Kraglin and was drawing various funny things all over Sean’s face while casually talking to a fan who I’m assuming had met him before when we got to his table. I wasn’t trying to be nosy I promise, but I could hear a little of what they were talking about. At one point, the guy mentioned Rooker’s hair and how much he had grown it out. He asked him if it was for a specific reason, like for a movie or something. Rooker told the guy that his granddaughter had actually asked him to grow his hair out so he would have long, pretty hair like her. My heart = melted. He then said that it wasn’t working. It was making him worse. You’re wrong, Rooker. Seriously, I don’t think you can get any more perfect.

While Rooker was still diligently drawing on Sean’s picture and talking to the fan, another guy walked up and asked his handler if Rooker was in Cliffhanger. The handler said yes. The guy said, “Oh man, I knew it! I can still hear your voice! Like when your lady fell in the beginning.” Without even looking up, Rooker said, “That fuckin’ bitch! I knew what she was doing up there with Stallone!” and then laughed.

When it was my turn, I went up to him and asked, “Are you sick of me yet?” He said, “Noooo.” I told him I had one last thing to give him, and it was kind of a dumb one, but all my friends told me I had to give it to him. I said, “Do you remember when James called you Winnie the Pooh in that one post?” He said, “Yeah.” I plopped down a little stuffed Pooh Bear in front of him on the table. Pooh was dressed in black and white prison stripes with a ball and chain on his leg. The patch on his shirt said “Prisoner of Love". Rooker laughed and said, “Aww, this is for me?” I told him yes, and that I knew it was kinda stupid and I don't normally go around giving grown men stuffed animals. “You're actually the only grown man I've ever given a stuffed animal to,” I said to him. He laughed again, and said, “Well, I actually love stuffed animals.”

He immediately took the tag off of Pooh's ear and then held him up towards one of his helpers and the couple of people in line at the end of the table and made Pooh “growl" at them. He then turned to the handler standing right next to him, shoved the little bear right in the guy’s face and made Pooh wave and said, “Fuck you, bitch!” in a goofy, high-pitched voice.

He made himself laugh, that silent kind of Rooker laugh where his head is thrown back and his mouth is wide open, his whole face lit up, and came around his table to give me a hug. Then....it happened. The single greatest moment of my life.

With his smile never fading, he grabbed my face in his hands and kissed me on the cheek, an added “mwah” for sound effect.

Time froze. I could feel his fingers in my hair. His scruff rough against my face. I couldn’t believe what was happening. My brain ceased to function properly, and I went into survival mode, struggling to simply form words.

As soon as it happened, my brain took that script that I had made up in my mind early that morning, ripped it up into a thousand little pieces, tossed them in the air, and screamed, “Haha, time to improv, bitch!” I could no longer remember a single thing that I had wanted to talk to him about.

I was stunned. I was in a daze. For the first time that entire weekend I was speechless.

My friend chimed in very quickly to save me. “You should show him your dogs!” As he still stood next to me, he said, “Oh, you have dogs?!” He sounded way more excited than I would have thought he’d be to see my dogs. I reached into my pocket and pulled out my phone. But Rooker had broken my brain. I was in auto-pilot mode, and I was forgetting a major detail.

It wasn’t until I hit the home button to turn my phone on that I remembered one of Rooker’s Skillset photos is my lock screen and a picture of him laughing on the set of Brother’s Keeper is my home screen. OMG!!!

I freaked out a little and playfully pushed him away. “Oh, don’t look at my phone, Rooker! You’re on it!” It was too late. He had already seen it. He backed away laughing and said, “Oooh, girl, you makin’ me look sexxxy!” I’m sure my face was red as a tomato at that moment.

My Instagram account was the quickest way to get to pictures of my dogs, so I pulled up the app. Rooker was so close to me. We were standing shoulder to shoulder, our arms were touching, him looking at my phone the entire time. It didn’t occur to me until much later that I know he saw everything on my Instagram: my IG name which is basically the same as my Tumblr, my icon which is him, my description that says I’m obsessed with him, the memes I’ve made of him.

I opened up the picture of my dog as James Gunn. Rooker pulled down his sunglasses to look. He didn’t remember Gunn sharing that picture either last Halloween, but he did say Bruce was a beautiful dog. Then I showed him the “Rooker vs. Rooker: Grumpface Edition” meme I had made of Rooker and my dog. I pointed to my dog and said, “That’s Rooker.” He turned and looked right at me. A few seconds after we made eye contact, he busted out laughing. It was my favorite kind of Rooker laugh, the Rooker laugh where he’s trying so hard not to laugh and is grinning but holding his mouth closed until he can’t take it anymore and just lets it go. Rooker loved my dog. He said, “Omg!”, gave me a fist bump, then grabbed my phone, walked over to his handler and shoved my phone in his face to show him.

When Rooker handed me my phone back, he hugged me again and then held up his hands for a double high-five. I high-fived him, but this time he didn’t let my hands go. He let our hands fall down together, our fingers interlocked. He kept them that way the whole time I talked to him. I never wanted that moment to end.

I then told him that we had to get back on the road to Louisiana, and I just wanted to tell him goodbye before we left. I said, “Thank you, Rooker. For everything. For putting up with me all weekend. This has seriously been the best three days of my life.” He held out his arms and said, “Awww, c’mere, baby.” He hugged me again, and I laid my head against his chest. It was the longest and the tightest hug he had given me so far, and I made sure to pay attention to every little detail: the cool, silky feel of his shirt on my face, the smell of mint, the way his back felt under my hands. I could have stayed there forever. When we finally let go, he said, “Thank you for coming to see me. Y’all drive safe,” and we said goodbye.

And with that, I walked away. It was over. Our “see you tomorrows" had become our final goodbye. It was all so bittersweet leaving through those convention doors for the last time. Over three days, Rooker had high-fived me, fist bumped me, called me pet names, held my hands, hugged and kissed me. I had made him laugh more than once. He had made me melt 100 times over. I know I was lucky to have had such an amazing experience with him, and I couldn’t have been happier. But knowing that there wasn’t going to be a tomorrow with him made me terribly…sad.

I had spent almost a year saving for Fandemic. It wasn’t cheap, but I had done a lot of photo ops and gotten a lot of autographs and had the time of my life. I had justified spending so much money by telling myself that this was more than likely a once-in-a-lifetime thing, and I’d probably never get to see Rooker again. After that weekend, I knew I couldn’t let that happen. I've already started saving for my next con. That man means the world to me, and I don’t know where or when (hopefully sometime really soon), but I have to go see him again.

So that’s it. For the ones that made it this far, that's the story of my little Fandemic adventure, my getting “Rookered" for the very first time, the best three days of my life. Michael Rooker is the most humble, nicest, most generous, funniest, silliest, best hugs in the world givin’, sweetest person I’ve ever met. He’s charming as hell, not to mention the sexiest man alive. There’s a reason he’s my favorite person on earth. There are not enough words to describe how much I love that man, and I truly hope everyone gets to meet him someday.

The end.

And, p.s., my new windshield wipers are still going strong 😜.

#michael rooker #rooker #fandemic houston #fandemic #I got rookered

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hiptolazed · 7 years ago

Photo

So you’re new to the Hippo Campus fandom...welcome!! Chances are you’re here because you heard the latest singles “Western Kids” or “Way It Goes”. Maybe you heard “Monsoon” playing in Starbucks or just wanna know who those guys people are posting pictures of are! Either way, you’re here, you like HC, and you wanna know more about them. Here’s way too much information who Hippo Campus is.

(disclaimer: I’m sure this isn’t everything but it’s damn near close and a good start. If you have time, watch all the interviews & Hippo related videos on YouTube and read whatever interviews are just floating around on google!)

Hippo Campus (@/thehalocline / hippocampusband.com) is an alternative/indie/pop/rock band hailing from the Twin Cities in Minnesota comprised of four members...

who all attended the Saint Paul Conservatory for Performing Arts. Hippo has been around since about summer 2013, after the majority of its members (everyone but Zach) graduated high school. Zach & Jake both went on to study at the University of Minnesota for a short period before leaving to tour full-time with the band. The four piece currently (as of fall 2017) has released three EPs and one debut album, with new music already in the works. Here’s more about all of that.

THE MEMBERS:

Whistler Allen aka Beans (Drums, vocals)

Birthday - March 13, 1995 (Pisces)

Height: like 5′7-5′8

Known for his love of donuts which many fans brought to him at a show. Currently is not looking for more donuts, but it doesn’t hurt to tweet him & see!!

Best at replying to fans on twitter.

Can be shy & timid in person, but a total sweetie and easy to talk with.

Really good painter (channeling his namesake?). Check out his stuff on his instagram!!

@/whistler_isaiah on twitter; @/whistlerisaiah on instagram & snapchat.

Jake Luppen aka Turntan (lead vocals, guitar)

Birthday - May 20, 1995 (Taurus)

Height: over 6′0

Lanky sweetheart.

Has a wonderful girlfriend, Katya...

with whom he has two pet rabbits

was classically trained in opera (so yes, there kinda is a reason his voice is that outlandishly good)

@/theturntan on twitter; instagram was deleted in March 2017

Nathan Stocker aka Stitches (Guitar, vocals)

Birthday - July 4, 1994 (Cancer)

Height: like 5′6-5′7

Makes solo music under the name brotherkenzie. Not public as of July 2017.

If you’re lookin’ for someone to talk to about life and all that jazz, catch Nathan after a show.

Behind most of the social media posts on the band accounts

used to be very present on socials, doesn’t like it as much now (actually is quite against it)

@/brotherkenzie on twitter, but very, very, very silent (occasionally likes some tweets about the shows!!)

Zach Sutton aka Espo (Bass, vocals)

Birthday - February 19, 1996 (Pisces)

Height: over 6′0

Can be very sarcastic and sassy, or very sweet and caring. Sometimes both.

Active on twitter: always likes, rarely replies.

Pretty cheeky. Rarely ever answers seriously if you catch him when he’s sarcastic so, like, don’t ask about when new music will be released.

@/espocampus on twitter & instagram.

I’ve had the privilege of meeting & talking to all four of the guys and I touch on that more in depth here!!

Wait. Did you say Beans, Turntan, Stitches, and Espo?

Back in the day the guys went purely by those nicknames. They’ve sort of faded by now, with only Jake & Zach’s still existing in social media handles; as well as Zach being the last one to sign with his nickname.

This interview explains the nicknames!!

Okay, okay the members are all super awesome guys but what about the amazing music they create and, ya know, the reason we like the band?

...

Chronologically:

Tarzan Reject EP (2013)

St. Paul Roofs

I (Oh I)

Sula

South (2013 Version)

Little Grace (2013 Version)

ALL SONGS HERE!!

Tarzan Reject is the first unreleased EP by Hippo Campus, dug up by people on the internet. That’s really all that’s known about it that’s, like, official.

The fandom collectively loves Sula. Hippo rarely plays Sula. But when they do, it goes hard.

Bashful Creatures EP (2014)

(see: this weird, iconic video announcing/promoting it)

Sophie So

Little Grace

Souls

Suicide Saturday

Opportunistic

Bashful Creatures

ALL SONGS HERE!! (& Spotify, iTunes, etc)

Official Music Videos from Bashful:

Little Grace. Simple, yet odd video. First music video, filmed for a friend in a local project. The video which created the fruit motifs, as seen on the Fruit Tee, and again briefly in Souls.

Souls. Second video, where the band really got to explore their own idea and have fun with it.

Suicide Saturday. Just the band running around in paint? I wouldn’t put it past them. They’re fun kids. Suicide is one of the songs that really boosted HC. They performed it on Conan (video no longer available, sadly) after being approached at their first SXSW.

South EP (2015)

Close To Gold

Dollar Bill

South

Violet

The Halocline

ALL SONGS HERE!! (& Spotify, iTunes, etc)

Official Music Videos from South:

South. Interesting, aesthetically pleasing video. Nathan has a solo during “go down south...”!!

Violet. This video is what a lot of people first know of the band. Simple, yet iconic. Violet is generally what they play for an encore. Also goes hard. Whistler has a solo toward the end (”oh violet”)!!

(sidenote: you may notice that the outro of Dollar Bill sounds eerily similar to that of Sula. I don’t know why they did that but I love it.)

Pause. What even is a “halocline” anyway?

Jake explains the meaning of that here!! @/thehalocline is their handle on socials, “The Halocline EPs” is the collective title of both Bashful & South, overall huge symbol for the band, their ideals, their music. A concept that the fans hold dear, as well.

landmark (2017)

(Making of landmark)

(performed in its entirety for Minnesota radio station The Current)

(full acoustic performance for YouTube Space NY; livestream)

Cover is based off their writing space (Zach’s basement) with each song corresponding to an object on it!!

sun veins (the paint can/paint on the wall)

way it goes (doc martens/pavement record)

vines (grapes)

epitaph (record player)

simple season (window & moon seen from it)

tuesday (box of wine)

western kids (phone)

poems (collared shirt & the armchair it’s on)

monsoon (calendar)

vacation (plant)

boyish (apricot tree)

interlude (clock)

buttercup (boxing gloves)

ALL SONGS HERE!! (& Spotify, iTunes, etc)

Official Music Videos from landmark:

way it goes. Features the band and some of their friends just havin’ a good time.

simple season. Official live video!!

western kids. Yeah...even I can’t explain this one. (Kidding. Mainly symbolic for the meaning behind the song, how people get sucked into social media/the internet/technology.)

monsoon. Lyric video. Yes, Nathan wrote it about the passing of his sister, read what he said about that here.

boyish. Boyish is about divorce & family difficulties, so I interpret this video as what seems to be a picture family actually fighting a lot. as simple as that gets.

warm glow EP (2017)

baseball

traveler

warm glow

ALL SONGS HERE!! (& Spotify, iTunes, etc)

warm glow has three songs that were written around the same time as/originally written for landmark. “baseball” has been played live for a while, and a fan favorite. “traveler” was debuted at the August Lolla aftershow in Chicago. a few seconds of “warm glow” can be heard in the aforementioned “making of landmark” video, and debuted at the first MN State Fair show in September.

And there’s a bunch of unreleased songs they’ve played live!!!

check out their Genius page for all the lyrics & more info about the songs!! Exciting and interesting to take some time and dive into.

also watch the ENTIRE concert in Boston on the Landmark Tour!!

What’s a concert like?

The most fun you will ever have (I might be biased). Highly energetic, the lighting design design is gorgeous, the band sounds even better live than in studio (I know it doesn’t seem possible but it really is!!)

They have VIP upgrades for many shows, of which perks will include a lot for their 2017 fall tour. As for their past Landmark Tour, at least a couple of the boys came out to meet fans and talk afterwards. They are the easiest people to talk with. Getting a bit “fangirly” is completely understandable!! Just know that they’re relatively young guys and deserve as much respect and calmness as anyone. As they gain more popularity, sure things will change in that area, but no matter how famous someone is, try your best to not freak out and most importantly: not freak the band out!! They love you so much and love talking to you. Also bringing them little gifts & letters is greatly appreciated!

(see if they’re coming to a city near you!!)

Okay, I get the band now, but who’s x person that I saw post a picture of them?

People associated with Hippo Campus that you will more than likely come across:

DeCarlo Jackson - plays trumpet with HC at some shows!! Friend from high school. Super cool, crazily talented guy. Featured in the way it goes mv.

Julia Kindall - Best friends with the band. Friend from high school. Amazing writer. Wrote a biography to preface a limited edition of the landmark vinyl. Occasionally accompanies the band on tour and helps run merch and the meet & greets. Sweet, sweet soul. Has a podcast with friend, Hanna, called The Pussys, which Whistler & Zach have been featured as guests on! Featured in the way it goes mv.

Katya Vorokhobova - Jake’s girlfriend. Just so ya know who she is.

Madeline Stocker - Nathan’s sister. Total sweetheart. Great singer, too!

Holly Ann Latcham aka Boots - Hippo’s tour manager. Dedicated to her job and making the shows run smoothly. Definitely underappreciated; if you see her after the show chat with her if you can and thank her for all the hard work she does!! She & the band are featured in a documentary on “real life roadies”, it’s a really good piece that gives great insight on this part of the industry (as well as some nice moments of the band).

Evan J Myers - Hippo’s merch manager. Cool, nice dude. Chat with him when you buy some merch!! Fun & easy to talk with, and super helpful at shows (and on social media most of the time!!)

David Kramer - graphic designer who is responsible for the beauties that are Hippo’s cover art. Occasionally travels with the band to photograph/film them.

Connor Siedow - Photographer that frequently hangs with the band and sometimes shoots their shows

Bands associated with Hippo Campus:

Remo Drive - played a few shows w/ HC; opening on the 2017 fall tour. check out “Crash Test Rating”!

The Happy Children - played some shows w/ HC; all went to high school together. check out “Honest Boy” (you might see some...familiar faces)! (Caleb runs Normal Parents, clothing company/movement that Hippo wears a lot!!) (Mitchell is Whistler’s roomate, jsyk)

Early Eyes - played a few shows with HC; cool kids who make groovy music that is somewhat influenced by HC. check out “Take You”!

MISCELLANEOUS

Old Bands:

Blatant Youth - Jake & Zach. Also Sam from Remo.

Whistle Kid - Jake & Zach.

Northern aka Danger Will Robinson - Whistler & Nathan. Also DeCarlo.

Still need more info?

Hippo Updating @hippoupdating does a fantastic job at keeping everyone updated with the latest on the band!!

Here is a new fan tag full of FAQs about the band!!

Okay, but HOW do I really get into this fandom?

Join us on tumblr, talk to me and everyone else on here, make dumb posts about the band like we do!!

Go to twitter!! There’s a lot of Hippo fans over there, follow some, retweet some, tweet the band... Twitter is pretty easy to get into, I think.

Start a fan account on instagram!! Zach likes posts pretty frequently, sometimes the band account does too.

You might come across some drama, sadly, because it exists and is inevitable. It can be pretty easy to avoid. Keep your head right, stay nice & respectful, and everything will go swimmingly!! This fandom is still relatively small, but as it grows, stuff like drama will just grow as well. Again, that’s inevitable. But do whatever you can as a new fan to stay out of it and keep things sane. This community of people who all like Hippo Campus should stay a good place for every fan involved, as much as we can.

Welcome to the fanbase.♥

#hippo campus #whistler allen #jake luppen #nathan stocker #zach sutton #m #i apologize if i messed anything up or missed anything i made this from midnight-4 am #please message me if you catch anything wrong or want me to add something!!

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scheduledfor1fall · 8 years ago

Text

Royal Rumble 1993 Review

Hello, everyone. After a (very) prolonged absence from the blog, I’ve finally decided to go back to reviewing some old WWE Network content, continuing from where I left off in 1993. I’ll be sticking with the more accessible, shorter reviews of matches, with an addition of personal star ratings. I should note that given the various styles of wrestling out there, even those seen in WWE, there really isn’t meant to be a thorough consistency to my ratings across all matches. For instance, I may genuinely enjoy Kurt Angle vs. Chris Benoit from the 2003 Royal Rumble more than I would Eddie Guerrero vs. Rey Mysterio from Halloween Havoc 1997, and still give them both 5 stars. Ratings, in my mind, are not only subjective to an individual’s tastes, but also relative to the match. It may seem like my ratings are more similar in style to someone like Roger Ebert, who made no secret that his 4 star rated movie reviews were relative to the movie itself, rather than Dave Meltzer, who I believe rated Omega vs. Okada from WrestleKingdom 6 stars due to his belief that rating it 5 stars would be equivalent to saying the match was on par with a match like John Cena vs. CM Punk from Money in the Bank 2011. With all that out of the way, let’s get on with the review of the 1993 Royal Rumble!

Right of the bat, we start with a shot the crowd, live in Sacramento, California, and are welcomed by Bobby Heenan and Gorilla Monsoon. I’m very grateful they stuck with these two for PPV commentary, as opposed to the peanut gallery on Raw. Out come the Beverly Brothers to signal our opening contest, and my god, do they have some of the most gaudy purple capes I’ve ever seen in my life. Out next are the Steiner Brothers, and, as always, I get a chuckle out of seeing a young Scott Steiner. I’ve got to say, if nothing else, the Big Poppa Pump look definitely made him look like more of a standout attraction.

RICK AND SCOTT STEINER DEF. BLAKE AND BEAU BEVERLY BY PINFALL VIA FRANKENSTEINER:

Not a blowaway match or anything like that. Just a perfectly decent showcase match for the Steiners, who did a great job of playing both dominant faces and faces in peril. The Beverlys did a perfectly good job of playing the underhanded heels, and this made for a fine start to the show. I should also note that after the match, they did a replay entitled “The Brain Scan,” which came off as a really low-rent John Madden analysis by Heenan, complete with some of the worst chalk marking you’ll see this side of a hopscotch game. I mean, it was funny, but not something I’d probably put on PPV. ** 1/2 stars.

We go to a video package detailing Shawn Michaels and Marty Jannetty’s history with each other, starting from their time as the Rockers, to the infamous Barbershop segment, all the way to Jannetty’s return, which sees him accidentally break a mirror over Sherri’s head. Sherri comes out first to a pretty lukewarm reaction. You’d think people would feel more sympathy for a woman who had a fucking mirror broken over her skull. She’ll be in a neutral corner for this match. Out next is Marty Jannetty, to the old Rockers song. Shawn’s out next to the so bad it’s good version of “Sexy Boy,” as sung by Sherri. I’d be remiss if I did not point out the powder blue strap Michaels has on the IC title. Better than yellow, I suppose, but still pretty icky.

SHAWN MICHAELS DEF. MARTY JANNETTY BY PINFALL VIA HIGH HEEL SHOT AND SWEET CHIN MUSIC TO RETAIN THE INTERCONTINENTAL TITLE:

Really good stuff here. The story of the match was Michaels working over the injured left shoulder of Jannetty, until the tides turned once Sherri slapped Michaels across the face. From there Jannetty kept throwing different moves Michaels’ way, with Michaels kicking out of each one. The finish came when Michaels elbowed the referee, allowing Sherri to intervene once again, attempting to hit Michaels with her heel while Jannetty restrained him with a full nelson. Cue Michaels ducking the hit, much like he did with the mirror, followed by a Sweet Chin Music for the win. These two would go on to have better matches than this one, and obviously Shawn’s best days were yet to come at this point. But for a follow-up match to an angle filmed a year prior, this holds up as a pretty fun match. *** 3/4 stars.

After the match, we see Mean Gene try to interview a distraught Sherri, which includes him shouting at her “Damn it! Sherri, you are hysterical!” The more I see of Mean Gene, the less I see him as a kind uncle type, and more of a drunk, mad at the world uncle type. Michaels shows up to confront Sherri, but is attacked by Jannetty from behind, causing a pull-apart fight between the two. What was the immediate follow-up to this, you may wonder? If you guessed “Jannetty gets fired due to drug/alcohol problems,” give yourself a pat on the back, because that is exactly what happened. Supposedly, he was released due to rumors stating that he was under the influence during the match. Jannetty for his part blames Michaels for starting the rumor, while an Observer from the time points out that Jannetty had been on probation for an arrest the month prior, making the decision to fire him easier. In any case, this would not be the last match between these two, nor would it be the last time Jannetty was fired shortly after his return.

We cut to Heenan and Monsoon doing their “belligerent old men arguing at a family reunion” routine over what we’ve just seen, and then to the next entrance, as Bam Bam Bigelow comes out. Out next is Big Boss Man, as we get ready for our clash of the hosses here.

BAM BAM BIGELOW DEF. BIG BOSS MAN BY PINFALL VIA DIVING HEADBUTT.

On paper, this match sounds rather promising. Many people are aware of how gifted Bam Bam Bigelow was as an athlete, and Big Boss Man is probably just a notch below him in terms of talented big men in the business. Unfortunately, whatever expectations I had were dashed by this match. For one, Boss Man did not look like he was at his physical best here. Just in the way he moved and sold, it seemed like he was probably a bit out of shape at this point. At one point, Boss Man landed on the outside, supposedly hurting his back, which lead to several segments of heat based around Bam Bam working over Boss Man’s back with various holds and headbutts. These parts of the match were really dull, and unfortunately made up a good chunk of the match. At another point in their careers, this match may have been slightly better, but Boss Man was just not at his peak here, and it lead to a dull affair. * 1/4.

We get a clip of Razor Ramon attacking Owen Hart backstage, leading up to his WWF Title match against Bret Hart here tonight. We then get an interview from the previous night from him, during which he promises to add Bret’s gold to his own collection, referring to his jewelry. Amusingly, there’s a Kings game going on in the background, as this was recorded in the arena the day before. A quick Google search shows that they beat my Minnesota Timberwolves that day. God, does it suck to try and follow basketball as a Minnesotan. We get the introductions as Ramon comes out to some impressive heat. We then get an interview with Mean Gene talking to Bret. Bret promises to defend his family’s honor and make Razor pay for what he’s done. Bret’s out next to a pretty big reaction. They show Stu and Helen Hart at ringside, and I kind of wonder how many times the WWF flew them out for these shows. Guess we’ll see as we progress through the years.

BRET HART DEF. RAZOR RAMON BY SUBMISSION VIA SHARPSHOOTER TO RETAIN THE WWF TITLE:

Fun, well-paced match here, that saw Razor work over the ribcage of Bret and overpower him with his height advantage, while Bret tried to wear him down, culminating in an awesome exchange which saw Bret go for an unsuccessful Victory Roll type move, only to turn it into the Sharpshooter for the win. Probably not really on the level of some of Hall’s best matches, and certainly not Bret’s, but a fun, often overlooked title match nonetheless. *** 1/2.

Cut to Bobby Heenan standing in front of a black curtain, preparing to unveil Narcissus to the world. I hate to sound like a dick, but every time Heenan says “Narcissus,” his lisp seems to render it “Narthiththith,” which I found to be kind of amusing. Anyway, the curtain is cast aside, and we get… Lex Luger! Luger basically does the Chris Masters kneeling routine, before posing in front of a huge tri-mirror, all while Heenan gives him a pep talk. Heenan name drops Mr. Perfect, before Luger cuts a promo about how he plans to make the other wrestlers bow down to him, including Mr. Perfect. This Narcissist gimmick is pretty much death, and the crowd seemed to agree, as they made very little noise during this segment, even when his name was revealed. I could make a joke here about Vince McMahon or the WBF, but I’ll take the high road on this and just say that this boring, shambling segment could be a sign of things to come with Luger down the road.

Howard Finkel introduces “Caesar and Cleopatra,” a tie-in to the upcoming Wrestlemania IX PPV at Caesar’s Palace in Las Vegas. Boy, wait until we get to that one. The Caesar guy invites us to join them at Wrestlemania, and reminds us that the Rumble winner will get a shot at Bret Hart for the WWF Championship at Wrestlemania IX. The guy was actually not that bad, but Jesus, did this come off as corny. Back to Howard Finkel, as we get our first entrant, Ric Flair! Heenan reminds us that Flair had won the Rumble the previous year by coming in at #3. #2 is Bob Backlund, to a very tepid reaction.

YOKOZUNA WON THE 1993 ROYAL RUMBLE TO EARN A WWF CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH AT WRESTLEMANIA IX:

Some quick notes throughout the match:

-Backlund ended up setting the longevity record at 1 Hour, 1 Minute, and 10 Seconds, a record that stood until I believe 2004, when Chris Benoit broke it en route to winning the match. At first, Backlund came off like an antiquated, goofy old babyface, especially compared to Ric Flair, with whom he started the match. As time went on, however, the crowd seemed to be genuinely behind Backlund, cheering every time he escaped elimination, and booing loudly when he was eliminated near the end of the Rumble. Backlund’s success as a babyface in this era was dubious at best, but he deserves a lot of credit for getting a reaction despite lying there most of the match.

-Jerry Lawler made what I believe was his in-ring debut in the WWF by entering this match at #7. He would eliminate Max Moon, before being eliminated himself by Mr. Perfect.

-Genichiro Tenryu, who had wrestled at Wrestlemania VII, and was the owner of SWS, a Japanese wrestling promotion which would occasionally co-promote with WWF, made the first of his two Royal Rumble appearances here.

-Giant Gonzalez, best known for his insane height of 7’7, debuted here, eliminating The Undertaker, despite not being a participant in the Rumble himself. I suppose this was a pretty par for the course mid 90’s “Undertaker feuds with and slays the giant” feud starter, but it came off as pretty silly, thanks in part to Gonzalez’s stupid air-brushed muscle and hair bodysuit. I’m not saying he should have been put in a loincloth or anything like that, but was there anything wrong with the athletic shorts he wore in WCW? Why the hair? Why any of this?

-Carlos Colon, the father of Carlito and Primo, as well as the uncle of Epico, appeared here, and, yes, Gorilla Monsoon did indeed refer to him as a “youngster.” Seeing as Colon was approaching 45 by this point, I would assume Monsoon was being facetious, but WWE.Com also refers to him as a youngster in the description of a clip of him in the Rumble. I suppose compared to Monsoon himself, or even the work of Michelangelo, Carlos Colon probably would qualify as a youngster.

-The finish saw Yokozuna missing a running splash into the corner on Savage, causing him to fall. Savage then followed up with an elbow drop before inexplicably going for a pinfall on Yoko. Yoko then tossed him over the top rope to win the match and become the first man to earn a shot at the WWF Champion at Wrestlemania by virtue of winning the Rumble. Caesar and Cleopatra returned to congratulate Yoko, and I honestly think it would’ve been funny if he just leg-dropped Caesar right there.

Though it accomplished the task of making Yokozuna look like a world-beater deserving of the main event at Wrestlemania, this had to be one of the dullest Rumbles I can recall seeing. A lot of laying around, goofy characters and relatively unknown guest stars made for a pretty hit and miss match. I’m not really sure I can give this a star rating, but it would probably be on the lower end of the spectrum if I had to.

OVERALL THOUGHTS:

It’s tough for me to dismiss this entire show. After all, both title matches delivered in their own ways, and the opener was decent enough. But as a whole, the show felt like just a very middle of the road production; nothing to condemn too harshly, but nothing that I can really stand up and say “go out of your way to see this immediately.” As good as Michaels vs. Jannetty was, they’ve truthfully had better matches, and there are certainly better Bret Hart matches from this time. Overall, if you’re going through and watching every Royal Rumble, or every show from 93 like I am, it’s not all that bad. But for casual viewing purposes, this would probably be a show worth skipping.

That’s it for now. Next time, we’ll delve into the first Raw review on the blog in over a year and a half. Will it be enjoyable? Will the build to Wrestlemania continue? Who will win the loser leaves town match- Mr. Perfect or Ric Flair? Will Rob Bartlett be an annoying dipshit? Stick around to find out the answers to these questions, and many more.

#wwf #wwe #1993 #wrestling #royal rumble

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