#what does he deserve with his melancholic little face?

[pralinesims]

Heartbreak hotel

[rinhaler]

I Finally Decided On You

✧˖*°࿐ : 18+ only, no minors.    ✧. ┊ rin itoshi x f!reader

Genre: smut & angst Notes: in my feelings abt a friendship break up so have some angst heheheee Warnings: 18+, mutual pining, angst, pet names, cheating, dacryphilia, tit sucking ♡, vaginal sex, choking ♡, love bites, breeding kink, creampie ♡ Words: 5.8k

“You’re lonely, aren’t you?”

Your breath hitches as the words make their way into your brain. His eyes have been fixed on you for what seems like a lifetime, but it’s only after you hear him ask something so personal, so intimate, that you can bring yourself to look at him. His glimmering, jade eyes are so striking, so captivating, you can’t help but want to bare your soul to him.

“You shouldn’t ask me something like that.” you whisper, unable to hide your smile as you are both all too aware of the irony of your sentence. There are so many things neither of you should be doing right now.

And yet, here you are, allowing the 4am sky to encase your bodies in a melancholic blanket. You’re waiting for one more sentence to spill from his lips that will have your deepest secrets tumbling from yours.

You know him.

He knows you.

And it’s so comforting.

You’ve never felt like this with anyone before. He’s so easy to talk to, and even easier to be around. It’s almost like a punishment. The worlds cruellest joke that you’re being subjected to.

“You shouldn’t be in my bed, but you’re here. So, talk to me.” he smiles, effortlessly. A smile that he’d only ever show you. An expression that only you are worthy of and the only person he’d ever trust to experience it. It’s so loving. It’s like being home.

You’re quiet, your own smile fading slightly as you think about his question. What had you done to make him even ask it? You’re lonely. Is that true? You have friends, family, a lover. Realistically, you can’t be lonely.

“I am.” you tell him, honestly, finally finding his gaze once more. Allowing him to scan your trusting eyes so he can see there isn’t a trace of a lie. And he does, stare, until he looks at your lips briefly, and then back to your eyes.

“You’re lonely?”

“Yes.”

He hums, thinking about it for a moment. You don’t deserve to feel that way. Though it may be his heart talking. It might be the fact that he’s head over heels in love with you.

Every moment with you is so saccharine, so disgustingly dizzying that it could make him vomit from excess. He can’t get enough of you. He’s ravenous for you.

Your taste.

Each kiss you allow him to take is so seraphic, your candied lips cloying his insides. It hurts to be with you sometimes, he knows what this is and what it will be. He knows what he is to you and what he will never be. He hates himself, and honestly, he hates you a little bit in that same breath. Though he locks that feeling of loathing deep down inside, he doesn’t want to feel it. He doesn’t want to care that much.

Whatever you are to each other now, in this moment, is enough.

His face nears yours, and you observe him as his eyes close. Yours close too, gently, and you feel his lips on yours. His hand cups your face, his thumb gently caressing your cheek as he deepens the kiss only slightly. He pulls away, eyes glittering as he observes you. He’s making sure you’re okay, that what he just did was okay.

And it is.

He pulls you closer to him, enveloping your body in his before carefully planting his lips on your cheek. He sighs, a little. The heavy, disheartened breath rushing through your ear canal. It makes you shudder, so he holds you tighter.

“You aren’t alone, you know.” he tells you, quietly. You feel tears pricking at your eyes as he starts speaking. He cares, so much, you can almost feel his passion vibrating from his skin and passing through you. “I’m not going anywhere.”

“I know.” you sniffle. “It’s just hard.”

“I know.” he agrees, kissing atop your head as a show of comfort. He just can’t get enough of you. He can’t stop himself from being with you like this, even if he wanted to, he wouldn’t. These moments with you are his main source of happiness. Getting to know you so viscerally is everything to him. Whenever you’re together, like this, he gets to peel back another layer of who you are.

“I’m so—” you stop, your eyes catching his again before you brush away the thought. You’re playing with fire, with him. You’re letting him scrutinize your body as you bare your self-inflicted gaping wounds. Allowing him to decide whether to pour alcohol and salt into your ruined flesh. “I’m just sick of feeling like shit all of the time.” you sigh a little before laughing.

“Don’t.” he huffs, his thumb stroking your face again. It’s a bid to make your body submit to his. “I don’t like it when you perform for me.”

You smile, again, nodding in acceptance as you take his word as truth. It makes sense why he isn’t fond of you acting for him, though for some reason you can’t seem to help yourself. Wrapping your body in an invisible gauze as you do all that you can to prevent your lacerated skin from becoming infected by him.

“Rin?” you whisper again, almost hoping he won’t have heard you say his name. “Do you love me?”

The question almost wounds him. You see his eyes begin to tremor as he wonders if you want him to answer that. And answer it genuinely. He rolls onto his back, staring up at the ceiling. Your bodies are mirrored up above, and he can’t help but stare at his own reflection as he contemplates how to answer. His heart skips a beat when you inch closer to him, wrapping an arm around his torso as you caress him and await his response.

He hates how little effort you need to make to force him to smile.

“Yeah.” he tells you. But he doesn’t look at you, still staring at himself in the mirror above. It’s a confession for him as well as you. “I’m in love with you. Is that okay?”

Of course he’s asking for permission to love you. Though even if you were to say no, it’s not like he could just stop his feelings. It isn’t okay, of course it isn’t. Nothing about what you’re doing is okay. Whatever you’re not meant to do always makes you feel most alive. It makes you feel excited. And right now, you feel wanted. You feel loved.

You don’t feel lonely.

You’re quiet for a moment, but you hope the smile you’re donning will show that you’re appreciative of his honesty. It takes you a while to think about how to respond. You could say it back, but what good will it do? If you don’t say anything, you’re sure he’ll be upset, but he won’t tell you that. You don’t want to hurt him, that’s the last thing you want.

“Thank you.” you tell him.

He doesn’t say anything to that. He closes his eyes, a soft chuckle emanating from him as he processes the rejection. In his mind, that smart, logical mind of his, he knew you wouldn’t say it back. Why would you? Even if it was true, it’s too messy. It’s a disaster waiting to happen, you both know it, so why would you say it back? But then again, why would you ask his feelings in the first place? His heart is screaming at him with every aggressive beat against his ribcage. It’s telling him, despite the logic working overtime in his brain, that you love him too.

“Do you love me?” he wonders, finally allowing his head to roll to the side again so that you’re making eye contact once more.

And you’re silent. You can see in his eyes that he’s pleading with you to reciprocate his feelings. To verbalise them. He wants you to mean it, though. He’d rather you not say a word than lie to him.

But, he knows you.

He knows your mind body and soul and he truly believes that you feel the same way about him. So tell him, won’t you? Lay your heart bare and just tell him the truth. No matter what the world throws at you, he’s certain you can handle it, together. Whatever concerns you have, he’ll protect you. Any repercussions you think will follow you from following your heart, he won’t allow. He’ll do anything for you. Anything to be with you. So look into his emerald eyes and be honest with him.

Be honest with yourself.

“Please,” you start, “please never ask me that again.”

The words cut like a knife. Or rather, he feels like he stopped existing the moment you finish your sentence. It’s like being in a car accident and dying on impact. He looks up at the ceiling again, closing his eyes, knowing the tears are soon to pour from them if he doesn’t get a grip.

Why would you say that?

You still haven’t given a clear answer. And really, he knows why you said what you did. It’s self-preservation. Maybe you think you’re protecting him, too. But you aren’t. You’re the reason his heart beats and this is the reason that it will stop. Every moment from now will be agony. Without an answer, you’ve given him one. And he despises you, now. He thinks you’re selfish.

He thinks you’re a fucking coward.

“Then… what is this?” he wonders, still not daring to widen his eyes and give you the satisfaction of seeing him cry. You can barely stand to look at him now though. Not when he’s being like this. You don’t want to hurt him, truly. But there’s no use in giving him hope that isn’t there. This is for the best, you’re sure. “Have you just been using me for the last two years? When you’re… fucking lonely.” his own breath hitches and he wants to disappear. From your line of sight, from the room, from the fucking planet.

“It’s not like that, Rin.” you sigh, and it’s almost breathless as you try and conjure the right words to alleviate his pain. There’s nothing you can say that won’t hurt. The damage is done. You’ve broken him. “You know the first time was a mistake… and then it just kept happening… and then—”

“And then you—” he balls up his fists until his arms begin to tremble. But he takes a breath, anger leaving him as he exhales. He’s always been good at that. He always knows when he’s getting too worked up and knows how to take it down a notch and compose himself. He’s calculated with everything he does. But he supposes you’re the exception. There was nothing calculated in regard to you. He fell into this fucking mess with you, because it’s you. “… Don’t you think the fact we’ve been making the same ‘mistake’ for so long means it might not be a mistake.” he talks, quietly. You can’t tell if he’s asking you a question or simply speaking words for you to hear.

You don’t answer. What can you say? You can’t contradict yourself now. It’s a valid point, of course. Is a repeated mistake truly a mistake? Maybe you and he are made for each other. Being with him could be easy, if you wanted. Being honest with yourselves and those around you might be easier than you think. Being able to hold his hand and go out on dates like a normal couple. Could it really be so simple?

“I don’t know what you want me to say.” you respond, bluntly. It’s harsh. The words make your mouth swell with discomfort and a horrendous desire to burst into tears. Nothing else will get through to him, you think. Being nice is getting neither of you anywhere. You gulp, and it’s like swallowing razor blades as you see how fucking shattered his face becomes.

He scoffs, a little, and sits upright in bed. You chase him, somewhat, sitting upright beside him and placing your hand on his shoulder. And you gasp, quietly, as he shrugs away from your touch. Your defeated hands fall into your lap as you continue to sit beside him, your eyes alternate from looking at his side profile to your twiddling thumbs.

Rejection was always bound to come eventually. He wishes he never opened his mouth, though. The delusion could have carried on a little while longer. Why did you have to ask if he loved you? You surely knew already. His mind roars at him to run. He’s staring at his sneakers placed meticulously by his wardrobe as he thinks about where he could go. Anywhere away from here.

Away from you.

But the child in him… is resilient. He’s never been one to accept true defeat. He’s never been the type to give up on his dreams or quit when he truly believes there is a chance at happiness for him. You see his hand move to his obscured cheek, and you’re sure he’s wiping away a tear.

It’s all but confirmed when he looks at you. Teal eyes almost illuminate the room as they look at you. Crystalline droplets reside in his lashline, and his eyes keep shimmering as they take in every solitary detail of your beguiling face. He can’t lose you. You’re perfect for him.

And he loves you.

He leans towards you, and you don’t fight it. Your lips slotting beautifully against one another as you melt into his kiss. It’s prolonged and it’s deep. You feel as though he’s giving you everything he has. Everything he is as a final farewell. The thought of never seeing him again makes you break away, panting desperately before you comb his hair out of his face.

“What are you doing, Rin?” you whisper.

This time you’re left without an answer. He grips his fingers into your soft hips and helps you move above him, straddling him so that he can look up into the eyes of the woman he loves more than he ever has or will love anyone.

“Play with my hair, please.” he whispers back against your bare skin as he lifts your tank top to expose your breasts. You do as he asks, combing your fingers through his hair again as he sweetly kisses your erect nipples. The only sound filling the room is his puckered kisses and your laboured breaths.

You hum, intoxicated, as kisses turn to suckles. They’re soft and careful, your skin breaks out in bumps as your flesh tries to huddle together to keep in the warmth. Your heart skips a beat when he looks up at you, briefly, before focusing on your tits again. He wraps his arms tightly around your torso in a bid to pull you closer. Your cotton-clad mound humping against his straining cock in the process.

He grunts against your skin when he feels the wetness pooling on your panties transferring to his boxers. One of his hand roams to squeeze the fat of your ass, a squeaking yelp escapes you as you feel thick bruising fingers dig into your supple flesh. He gentle nibbles your swollen tits, eliciting a mewl from you that speaks to your infatuation with him. Whether you care to admit it or not, he knows your body enough to understand the truth.

“Rin,” you shudder, throwing your head back in an attempt to gain some distance from what is happening and retrieve your thoughts. He doesn’t stop, though. But his eyes meet yours again when you return. He’s listening. He’s clinging to your every thought. “I-Is this really what you want?” you ask him. And he nods, slowly, relinquishing one nipple from his mouth with a pop and licking his cherry bitten lips.

 “’m not a mistake, baby…” he tells you in hushed tones before sucking your neglected nipple momentarily. He means it, too. You don’t think he’s a mistake. In truth, you think the world of Rin Itoshi. You wish you met at a different time. Things could be how you both want them to be. But this is how things are. You feel tears you hadn’t given permission begin to roll down your cheeks as you think about how lowly he views himself because of you. You are a fucking coward, you always have been. “I can be right for you, princess. I can.”

You hear him sniff a little before he continues making out with your aching tits. And you push his hair out of his face again, getting a perfect view of his lusciously long eyelashes. You can’t see his pretty green eyes from this angle, they’re focused intently on your chest. But his eyes snap to your when he hears you sniffling too.

“Rin… I-Is this—?”

“Do you want to do that thing you like?” he asks, breath fanning over your spit soaked tits as he snaps you from your thoughts. He encourages you to move a little as he hooks his fingers into your panties and tries to pull them down your legs. It’s clumsy, and it makes you laugh as you shuffle around awkwardly until they’re off. And he throws them across the room before your lips crash together again.

Your arms wrap around his neck as you kiss him. He swallows your moans like they’re holy and he’s fucking greedy. He manages to snake his hand between your bodies to free his length. And your vision strays to see it. His gorgeous, pretty cock. It’s beautiful and pink, though the darkness of the room hides it well. You know it from memory by now. But you can’t mistake the drooling precum leaking from his slit and down his shaft as he strokes his length at a steady pace while he kisses you again.

But you break it once more.

“You like it… you like it, too.” you smile, thinking back to what he’d asked you moments ago. He smirks against your lips, kissing you again before looking down at his length as he attempts to guide it into your heat.

“That’s right.” he nods, licking his lips. “’n it feels the best when you ride me… so sit on it.” he commands. He clenches his teeth as his tip sits comfortably in your sticky interior. You’re so tight and wrap around him so heavenly. As though you’re made solely for him. In his mind, though, that’s exactly what you are. He hisses, eagerly, as he feels the conflicting constrict of your cunt tightening and releasing repeatedly as he remains there. It’s like you aren’t sure if you’re trying to suck him in further or push him out completely.

His fingers curl around your dainty wrist, guiding your hand to his neck and encouraging you to squeeze. You do, softly, and you can’t help but smile when he laughs breathily.

“Sit on it, princess. S’all yours.”

The squeeze becomes tighter as you slowly sink on his length. Your jaw drops willingly as you moan through the stretch. And Rin, God, he’s fucking beautiful. His eyes roll over white as your pussy envelops him until you feel his pretty tip nudge your g-spot. You kiss his cheek. Again, and again and again until his vision returns to you.

He likes it. No, he loves it. But only because it’s you. He’s been with plenty of women, but he’s never been in love. He’s had feelings for partners, but never love. He can’t imagine letting any of them choke him the way you do. It makes him heady, but only because it’s you. The first time you did it he wanted to protest, to tell you in no uncertain terms that he isn’t interested in that kind of thing. But the word no could barely escape his lips before he came inside you after you squeezed the sides of his neck oh so deliciously.

“F-uck, Rinnie…” you moan as you start to rock your hips against him. His hands gently hold your waist and help you in your efforts, your breath catching in your throat as your clit catches against his pubis and trimmed hairs. “You’re s-so deep. Feel you h-here…” you point to your lower abdomen as you carry on rocking against him, your grip on his neck easing as you feel pleasure begin to surge through your nervous system.

He's speechless, though. He knows he’s big and doesn’t feel a need to reiterate it. Instead, he pushes his palm flat against your tummy as you continue to get yourself off. You moan, louder. Drool forming in the corner of your mouth as you keep going and going until your legs begin to give. And he pities you, he does. So much so that he holds your hips tightly and helps you rise and fall on the full length of his cock again and again.

Each impale is rapturous. The pleasure is fucking blinding as his heavy tip slams repeatedly against your sensitive soft insides and you mewl blaringly, no care or consideration for neighbours that might be trying to get a full eight hours before that dreaded sunrise approaches any minute now. You can’t possibly care, not when a cock so perfectly made to mould the shape and ridges of your pussy to suit it’s domineering size is ruining you so divinely.

“Don’t stop.” he reminds you, his hand covering and squeezing your own around his willing neck, encouraging you to persevere. The way your clutching fingers hug the column of his throat is beauty personified. Like a scene from a renaissance painting before your very eyes. And his eyes are blown to hell, full of lust, “harder.” he smirks, greedily. And you always do as you’re told. You want to be good for him after being so cruel. You want to please him after being so cold. You want to love him after being so harsh.

“I—” you start, your words becoming trapped in your throat as your cowardice springs to the forefront of your mind. Though, is it really cowardice? Or is it just the right decision for both of you? For peace of mind and an easy life, it is.

“Yeah?” his eyes practically glitter in expectation as he awaits your sentence to be brought to completion. You are cruel, cold and harsh. Because you’ve gotten his hopes up yet again. And you can’t have that, you just can’t.

“I’m, c-close…” you alert him. His eyes widen in surprise. It hasn’t been so long since you started. Are you lying? He can usually tell. He studies your face and feels the way your cunt constricts around his length as you draw near your demise. You’re honest, only sometimes.

“N-N.. uh… can you hold it? F-For me, princess?” he asks, pleads, really, if his watery eyes are anything to go by. You aren’t sure you can, but you nod anyway. You’ll try your damndest, for him, anything for him.

He manoeuvres you carefully onto your back so you’re lying beneath him. You remain wrapped around him the entire time, like he can’t bear to be apart from you for even a second. You can’t blame him, either, you don’t want to remember what life feels like without him snug inside of your welcoming cunt.

His eyes roam your body as he cages you in below him. Emerald jewels taking in each and every inch of your perfectly bare skin. Every detail, every crevice and pore. It’s all so beautiful to him, and hasn’t become a boring sight to behold in the entire two years you’ve been doing this.

Both of your hands cradle his head, fingers interlocking through the back of his hair. He looks into your eyes and you can’t help but smile. This is how your life should be. When you see how much love pours from his eyes as he looks at you, you know this is how things are meant to be. But it’s a shame, they aren’t. You feel your heart break in two as reality crashes around you once again. But he leans down to kiss you, silently asking your permission to keep going.

“Please, Rin.” you nod.

“Okay, I’ve got you.” he kisses your neck as he begins to shallowly thrust into you again. You mewl softly as you feel him suckle the skin covering your clavicle, and it’s sure to bruise, but you don’t care. You’re sick of caring, now. You just want to feel this. Enjoy this moment. You want to enjoy Rin.

He pushes your thighs gently, spurring you to wrap your legs around his hips in a bid for you to hug him tightly. You hook your feet against one another, and you feel like a koala clinging onto a tree. You don’t mind though. You feel safe, like this. A safety you’ve never felt from anyone at any time. He’ll keep you safe, always, because he loves you. All he wants in this moment is for you to feel good and for him to be the reason. You cock your head, curiously. And he wastes no time satiating your lust with a kiss.

Your moans feel suffocating as your throat swells with the desperate need to share them with him. But you can’t. Not when he’s pressing his lips to yours and trying to inhale your every breath and any other offering you can muster for him. He can’t let you go for even a second, he thinks. This is all he has. He needs to remember.

He looks upset when you turn your head to break the kiss, but his thrusting doesn’t cease. They slow, however. Opting to fuck you deeper. He wants to explore depths in your cute cunt that neither of you know even existed.

“What’s wrong?” he asks, voice quiet but laced with concern. It’s hard to even think as his thrusts seem to be whisking your brain into a pink mushy paste.

“I can’t—” you pant, “hold it… m-much longer!” you warn him.

“Oh.” he chuckles, and burrows his head into the crook of your neck. He kisses. Sucks. Makes it known that you’ve been with him. A final bid to make you his, though it will surely amount to nothing. “That’s okay, let go, baby…” he tells you.

You bite your lip. A momentary gesture before you find your pleasure crescendo from his faithful pace. He kisses sweetly along your jawline, humping into you hard enough that there is a steady slapping resounding through the bedroom. You note how the sun seems to rise and birds begin to chirp as you topple over the edge of your orgasm.

He could bathe in your sweet moans for the rest of his life, he thinks. They seem to harmonise with the birds singing outside. Your fingers dig and claw into his shoulder blades as you don’t let up. It’s all so tantalizing, a song he’d happily play on repeat for the rest of his miserable life if he could.

You clamp around him and feel a swell of pride in your chest as you hear him moan for you, too. Your cunt floods with warmth and you’ve never felt so wanted. Part of him wishes you weren’t on birth control. Part of him wishes that it would fail so that there’s a reason he can truly make you his. But he knows he isn’t that lucky. And he knows it’s wrong to want those things, too. He doesn’t even want a kid, really.

He just wants a reason to keep you.

Your chest heaves as he collapses on top of you, hugging you closely. You fear that your sweaty bodies may meld together permanently, until the breeze from the open window rolls in. Cooling your dampened skin slowly but surely. Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad, though. Being stuck to him. There’s always fantastical ideas conjured from absurd imaginations that give you cause to be together. It’s the only way, you think.

It can’t be as simple as you want to be together.

You can’t just love each other so much you can be together.

You need a reason.

A very good fucking reason.

“Are we going to be okay, Rinnie? Things haven’t changed, right?” you ask him, almost scared to speak but not enough to stop the flow of your words. You feel his body tense up, and at that point you know things have indeed changed. But change can be good… you might just be delusional, though.

“I’m going to shower.” he says, coldly, peeling his body from yours. And it stings. He couldn’t give you an answer, and you know that translates to him only having an answer you won’t like. He’s cruel, mostly, but never with you. With other people he can be rude and mean. But he’d rather be silent than do that to you. And it hurts. Fuck, it hurts. It’s all such a mess and everything is fucking ruined. “… are you coming?” he asks, looking back at you as he heads towards the bathroom.

And there it is.

The flame of hope he can never truly let die when it comes to you.

Your eyes flicker open, the room fully bathed in the light of the mid-morning sun. Rin is sitting at the edge of his bed. Legs covered by grey joggers and his torso bare. The shadows and light contrasting each other and painting an alluring portrait of toned musculature across his back. He shields it from you, though, as he pulls a t-shirt over his head.

He stands up, collecting the towel he dropped on the floor as he got changed. And that’s when he sees you’re finally awake again. He curses himself when he smiles at you, still unable to believe how easily you can make him do so.

“How was your nap?” he asks, calmly, tossing the towel expertly into his laundry bin.

“I don’t even remember falling asleep…” you admit.

Though you do remember cuddling into his side after your shower. Your towel is loose around your body, the one wrapped around your hair is crumpled up atop your pillows. He didn’t sleep a wink, he savoured the feeling of you clinging onto him like you might actually love him. But his mind was also plagued by the future. About what happens next. He doesn’t get nervous, usually. But now, as he looks at you in your most natural form, he’s legitimately scared. Scared of everything crashing down around him.

“I… your clothes.” he tilts his head, gesturing to the folded clothes on your bedside cabinet. You thank him, quickly, dropping your towel and hurriedly getting into your jeans and tank top you wore over here in the middle of the night. “I want to be with you, properly.” Rin confesses, focusing intently on his hands before daring to look up to you. Your expression is sullen, unsure of how to respond. You hadn’t expected to hear him say something so bold, not after what you said to him earlier. But you suppose he’s had time to think.

“I just don’t know what you want me to say, Rin.” you sigh, shaking your fingers through your still damp hair. Little droplets flying to the wood floor below.

“I want you to tell the truth… I know you love me. I know you’re just scared. I know you want to be with me, too. I don’t get why you’re doing this. I don’t know why you’re punishing yourself… or me.” he approaches you, walking around the bottom of the bed and grabbing your shoulders with fervour as he wills you to be honest for the first time in your life.

“No.” you shake your head and move away from him. “It isn’t right, you know it isn’t.”

“It’s not right? I’ve loved you for two years and you’re telling me that’s wrong? And I know you feel the fucking same, so please, please baby—”

“I have to go, I can’t do this.” you feel fresh tears roll down your face as you begin to search for your purse. You feel like your fucking heart is going to explode. And he doesn’t bother hiding his upset, either. Because he’s made up his mind.

“This was goodbye, then.” he informs you, and your movements halt as you look at him.

“What?”

“I’m not being this… joke. I’m not going to be your shoulder to cry on when you’re lonely. I’m not going to fuck you, you can’t just come here when you feel like it. I’m done, I can’t do it.” he takes a deep breath as he finishes, knowing that this is really over. It’s killing him. “I love you, and it hurts. This really hurts. But you’re not the girl I thought you were. I thought you were kind and I know you love me too and that’s why it’s fucking— I feel like I’m dying. I don’t get why you’re denying yourself of this.”

You sigh, slipping your feet into your white slides and trying to fight back tears. He thinks everything is so simple. He thinks you can both just live a fairy tale life and be happy, but that isn’t realistic. He isn’t being realistic and maybe that’s your fault. You thought you’d been clear about what this is between you. You hadn’t intended to make him feel used. You didn’t want to hurt him and you didn’t want things to end like this.

“Okay.” you shrug, fingers grasping the door handle as you prepare to leave.

“What’s so fucking special about Sae?” he sobs, quietly. You can’t bear to look at him. Your heart is already breaking and you know looking at his defeated face will give your vital organ cause to split into quarters. “As kids, he was always better at football. He’s older, he’s the favourite. But he doesn’t even treat you right, he doesn’t love you. I do, I love you so what’s so special about him, princess?” he drops his weight onto the bed below, sitting on the edge again as he wills you to face him. His stomach ravaged by butterflies as he waits for an answer. Any kind of answer that will give him some clarity.

“Nothing’s special about him, Rin…” you sigh, again, giving into his desire and offering him the eye contact he craved. “I just met him two years and a few days before I met you.” you sniffle loudly before hurrying out of the door, slamming it behind you unintentionally as you run to the elevator.

He lets his head fall into his hands as he begins to bawl. The knowledge finally setting in that this is really the end of this chapter of his life. The story of you and him is complete and the ending is fucking devastating. He rests his head against the wet pillows you’d left in such a hurry. The scent of your lotions and perfume still clinging to them. And he cries more, covering his face entirely with his hands.

He’ll always lose to Sae, that much is clear.

If only he’d met you first.

© 2023 rinitxshi

[jennifer-jeong]

Fluff + Slight Angst | Wanderer x Reader “A Name of Your Own”

SUMMARY Giving him an actual name <3

CONTENT Fluff, little bit of angst, mentions of his past, CHARACTERS ARE 18+

AUTHOR NOTES I think it’s so funny that if you try to name him “Dottore” he says “you can’t be serious…” LMAOOO Basically this is what I named Wanderer and this is how I imagine he’d react to the situation hehe Another Wanderer fic for you pookie <3 @thepurestgirll

WORD COUNT: 737

“My own name…?” the confused anemo user asks albeit rhetorically.

You’re in the sunlit akademiya library in the process of choosing a name for Mr Kabukimono/Kunikuzushi/Balladeer/Scaramouche/Wanderer/Hat Guy and he wonders why it feels so strange. He hasn’t really had a name that he necessarily cherished. All were titles given to him that have some alternative meaning or intention behind them. But this time, it’d be a name just for the sake of a name. A name to call him by, a name with a meaning about his soul, not about his status or appearance.

“克仁” (romanized: Katsuhito)

You say the name with a stern look and a gentle smile. He looks up at you, your words pulling him out of his thoughts.

It took you a little bit of research and time to put it together but you decided on this: a meaningful name in his native language.

“I can’t really read the language… What does it mean?” he asks, confused, as you show him the characters.

“克 (Katsu) meaning ‘to overcome,’ and 仁 (Hito) meaning ‘compassionate.’” You explain while writing the symbols on paper, teaching him how to spell his name and how to pronounce it.

“I just thought it fit you pretty nicely. You’ve been through a lot and you’ve come out alive and even after all that… you still somehow have kindness in you. I think that’s what compassion for yourself and others truly is.” You say gently as you look at the paper.

You’re looking at the name but he’s looking at you, his eyes softening at your words and his eyebrows raise ever so slightly. His face reads a mix of surprise and melancholic happiness. He’s surprised that you have such nice things to say about him. He thought that you, the traveler, and Paimon would end up just messing with him when picking a name. But he’s pleasantly surprised and starts to wonder if he really deserves something so nice.

You’d already discussed the name with Nahida and the traveling duo and they loved it. They were also happy to see how much thought you put in it.

“Are you okay?” You ask, looking at him, once again pulling him out of his thoughts. He didn’t realize he was just staring at you instead of paying attention to the paper.

He blinks a few times and stutters out a shy “y-yeah… I just wanted to say… thank you.”

Your eyes widen and then close as you smile at him, “aw you don’t need to thank me, just enjoy your new name!”

He looks down bashfully, trying to conceal his emotions and appreciation. His heart is beating fast, he doesn’t really understand it, especially considering he doesn’t really have an organic one. But he seems to feel emotion the same way you do. This used to piss him off. But right now, he’s kind of glad he can feel this way. He’s glad you make him feel this way.

You’re also feeling bubbly. You’re happy he likes it and it feels like it was a moment for you two to bond. You test the waters a little bit more and say “I was also thinking your nickname could be something like ‘Hito!’”

He blushes ever so slightly as he meets your eyes again. “That sounds…” he stops himself from saying “cute” and opts for “nice” instead.

He was usually pretty irritable and always wore an annoyed look, but because this was important and brought up a lot of emotion at the thought of his old names, he was pretty serious. He was vulnerable. But you didn’t hurt him. He would always remember that.

“Okay! Then it’s settled. Let’s go get some dinner, Hito.” You chime.

“Sounds good…” he replies, uncharacteristically quiet.

You don’t pry though, you know he’s only recently been introduced to the idea of living a life of his own, uncontrolled directly by someone. You figure that this talk about names also brought up unsavory memories.

But he was no longer a puppet to be used. He was just him, and he’d forever be grateful to the people who made that possible.

He watched you jog ahead of him, out of the library and into the sunset. The golden light illuminating your hair and outfit as it flowed in the breeze. You called out to him, telling him how the weather was lovely.

He smiled.

|| MASTERLIST ♡ || Thank you for reading! ||

[avocado-writing]

hi!! ive.. gone and read so much of ur work in one sitting. its all so much to take in, IN A GOOD WAY, and i absolutely adore every single word

would u be so kind.. to bless my angst durge needs..

Durge Resist tav, was strong for all until the brain was finally defeated but now, with what she believed her only purpose/chance at redemption (brain), they can't help but feel utterly empty and,, unredeemed. They mourn all those they have robbed from this world, nameless, and countless numbers of people they robbed of the life that they were now being given the chance at living. Surely they don't deserve it(Is what they think..)

They are pathetically in love, and if they deserve anything, its to tell their special one just how much they are adored before casting themselves out of society (or taking their own life, if ur comfortable writing such things-)

Rolan, Dammon, Zevlor, maybe even Rugan if u write for that loser LMAO. just.. whoever u write for, its the tieflings i adore most ahegege

if this didnt make sense IM SORRY i havent slept in so long and sleep is not choosing me. i just crave angst, perhaps with a happy ending if u would indulge me so..!! thank u if u read this, so much!!

hi, I don't write fics about suicide, but here's the tiefling bachelors with a durge who's planning to disappear after the absolute is gone and giving them one final confession:

Dammon

senses something is wrong when you take him aside for a heart-to-heart.

it isn't that you avoid these sorts of moments per se, he just knows you only affirm your affections when something big is going to happen (you did it before you went off to fight the elder brain)

he holds your hand tightly, gets you to look him in the eye.

"I love you, no matter what, and I never want to be without you. tell me you'll be there when I wake up tomorrow. in our bed. swear it to me."

you can see the utter adoration he looks at you with, and you think: maybe you aren't so bad if a man like this can truly love you.

the next morning Dammon wakes up. you're not in bed next to him. he panics, getting to his feet - only to find you in the kitchen making breakfast.

he's never been so relieved. walks up behind you and wraps you in his arms. he loves you so dearly, and will keep on loving you until you believe yourself worthy of it.

Rolan

Rolan doesn't quite understand why you're having this great outburst, but chalks it down to emotions running high after the final battle.

says goodnight, kisses you, and heads off to his tower - he has a lot of admin to do after all.

the next morning he comes to meet you at the elfsong, only to be met with the realisation that you aren't there. he curses himself for not understanding why you were so melancholic last night.

he tracks you down. uses all of his resources to scry on you, grease palms with the money the tower has. he's up all night for weeks. Cal and Lia worry about him but he is determined.

and find you he does. manages to locate where you're hiding out, a little hamlet in the middle of nowhere. you burst into tears when you see him, and he just pulls you into his arms.

"come home with me."

you do, moving into his tower. and you never leave him again.

Zevlor

immediately knows something is wrong. takes you to a quiet place where the two of you can be alone and talk things out.

discusses how he feels like being a failure for breaking his oath -- but you always saw past that. saw the goodness in his soul. he wishes you would treat yourself with that kindness.

you begin to cry, softly at first, and then with sobs which wrack your whole body. he holds you ever so tightly.

"I love you. you are not who you were. you have strived to be better every day, fought against your own family, and always chosen a righteous path. you deserve to be happy. I'd want to make you happy, if you'd let me."

eventually your tears run dry and you look up into his face. his eyes are so sincere. he means every word.

when you kiss him, it's a promise: that you're with him for good. that whatever comes next, it will be faced together.

[xxladymjxx]

Pairing: Steve Harrington x Fem Reader

Synopsis: Not much time has passed since the funeral of your dear friend Eddie Munson. To say you were miserable as a result would be an understatement, you felt as though the grief was killing you. Luckily another friend is there for you, offering you hope in this time of despair.

Warnings: Angst with comfort (Steve being readers super hero), swearing, use of y/n, mentions of the Upside Down, mentions of Vecna, God makes an appearance-ish

Wc: 4.3k

An: My first Steve Harrington fic! Ohhh! I'm so excited! I hope I wrote him well! Thank you to my beta readers @lokis-army-77, @xxhellfirebunnyxx

Comments and reblogs are everything!! 💗

"Edward Munson, as we lay you to rest, those of us left behind bid you farewell.” That was the closing statement as the casket carrying the body of your beloved friend descends into the ground. The final resting place for Eddie Munson.

That was two weeks ago.

You're brought back to the present by Steve snapping his fingers in front of your face.

“Oi! Hun!”

Blinking your focus is back at your shift at Family Video. You're at the front counter with Robin while Steve resumes putting away rented videos.

“You okay?” Robin asks you softly.

Turning to face her you notice her beautiful blue eyes hold sadness, fear, and a little bit of anger swimming behind them. Anger not directed at you but at someone else.

You heave out a sigh, hoping to exhale the edge of your grief, “No, I'm not, Robin… I miss Eddie so much.” Your voice is low and melancholic, one that if a demon heard you, they'd start crying.

Robin doesn't hesitate to hug you to which you hug her back. “I miss him too,” Robin says “he was a cool guy.”

Cool was definitely an understatement to describe Eddie, you couldn't help but let out a small chuckle. “He was incredible, Robin.”

Steve makes his rounds, putting away rented videos in their proper places. He is pretending he didn't hear most of your brief conversation with Robin. He felt terrible.

Even when you're present you're gone.

As he put the last rented video back in its place he heard sniffles.

“Robin…he was supposed to graduate and finally make something of himself! He was supposed to find a girl, get married, have a family! Or hell! Make it big with Corroded Coffin! He deserved so much better than the hand he got!” You didn't mean to raise your voice, your emotions were once again threatening to choke you.

Your eyes are burning, your body is trembling, and you feel your chest tightening.

Thankfully, Robin being the great friend she is, let you vent, “I know,” She sadly replied, “I didn't know Eddie that well, but from the time I spent with him, he did deserve better.”

“Yeah,” Your breathing is starting to become even, you're calming down, “I think I need to wash my face and try to calm further down.” You chuckle sheepishly, the emotional outburst has embarrassed you.

“Want me to come with you?” Robin asks, kindness dripping from her voice like honey dripping from a comb.

Shaking your head you smile at Robin; the appreciation is there though the smile does not reach your eyes.

“I'll be okay, Robin. Thanks anyway.” And with that you depart to the ladies restroom, opening and closing the door with a semi-loud squeak.

Once you were out of sight, Robin called out to Steve, “Hey, dingus!”

Jumping slightly from being startled, Steve maneuvers to where Robin is at the front desk.

“What’s up?”

“Don't ‘What’s up?’ me, Steve!” Robin impersonates Steve with immaculate precision, “You gotta help our girl out. I've never seen her so miserable...” Robin's voice drops, her eyes are glossed with unshed tears, it's like her skin is acting as a conduit for your grief.

“I want to help, I do, I have no idea where to start.” Steve leans against the counter, his shoulders slump as he lets out a sigh of rumination.

“We need to think carefully about this. This is not a simple matter.” Robin adds, wanting to brainstorm with Steve on how best to aid you. “She's getting her emotions out, that's a start.”

“Maybe I could take her to Eddie's grave? I know it hasn't been long but maybe if she sees him…” Steve trails off not finishing his sentence, “then again, maybe it's too soon for her.”

“A good idea! Do you think Mike and the others would be willing to help?”

“Possibly,” Steve considers Robin's idea, commiting said thought to memory, “but I think we should wait to ask them, at least for a bit while I take the brunt of it.”

Robin nods in agreement,”I wish I could help her too, ya know?” Robin bangs her head against the store counter “Dammit Eddie! You weren't supposed to die!”

“Robin, if there is an afterlife, I hope Eddie can see how much he matters…or mattered.” Steve dismally corrected himself, he's not used to talking about someone past tense.

“I hope so too.” Robin agrees, sharing the same sentiment exactly.

“She needs to know that we are here for her.”

“Well, yes, we are,” Robin concurred, making deliberate emphasis on ‘we’ “but I think maybe you should be the one to help her, at least with the brunt of her grief.” She gives Steve a knowing look.

“Huh? W-what do you mean?” Steve's eyes look anywhere but Robins piercing blue ones.

“You like her, dingus.” Robin's lips curve up into a smirk.

Steve blinks at her as a blush creeps up his face, “Uh..”

“You can bear the brunt of it because she's precious to you.” Robin says matter-of-factly.

“S-she's just–” Steve stammers, trying to find the right words.

“A girl you want to kiss,” Robin finishes his sentence even though it most likely wasn't what he wanted to say.

Steve sighs, “It's true, I do like her a lot but..”

“But?” Robin questions, raising a brow, resting her elbows on the counter and her chin on her open palms.

“She's going through enormous grief and I wouldn't dream of taking advantage of that,” Steve declares candidly, he'd never under any circumstances try anything with you until you were one hundred percent better, “I'll do what I can to help her no matter what!”

Robin whistles, “Wow, Steve, I'm impressed.” she'd never imagine King Steve of all people would become so considerate of others, not just to her but you.

“Thanks,” he smiles. “I should probably get ready to ask her to come with me after work.”

“Why do you need to get ready?” Robin questions, wondering what in the world could he have to prepare himself for.

Steve takes several deep breaths, “Oh!” He exclaims, he'd just got an idea.

-

Washing your face in one of the bathroom sinks you gaze at your face in the soiled mirror, eyes swollen and absent of life.

“I miss you.” You say quietly, deadpanned.

Who were you talking about? Eddie?

The girl you were before his death?

Both?

You felt as though some part of you was laid to rest alongside Eddie.

It's only been two weeks but you still can't help but wonder how long you'll be this way.

A few years?

Decades?

You can't fathom that much time grieving.

The thought alone brought more tears to your eyes but you squeezed your eyes shut, you will yourself not to shed them.

Exhaling out a breath you didn't know you were holding you give yourself a small pat on the back; stopping yourself from crying certainly was not easy.

“Brace yourself, y/n. Gotta get back out there and face Robin and Steve.” Hopping up and down in an attempt to hype yourself up you lightly smack your face with both your hands.

“Come on! You got this!” This time you shouted at your reflection, hoping she would listen to you.

Turning brisk on your heel you make your way out of the bathroom, your Nikes make a slight squeaking noise on the linoleum flooring. Opening the door you're greeted by the grinning face of Steve Harrington.

“Hey!”

“H-hi?” You're taken aback by his unusual cheerful attitude.

“I was thinking, something I'm bad at I know,” his comment had earned a chuckle from you; butterflies erupted in his stomach, “I want to take you out after work.”

“So,” you tilt your head, “like a date?”

“Uh..” Steve blushes, clearing his throat, “no, nothing like that. I want to go see someone with you.”

“Sure? Why not?” As perplexed as you are, going out with a friend is something you need to do for yourself.

“Great!” Steve's smile gets impossibly bigger.

His grin made you smile automatically back.

Steve could see that your grin didn't reach your eyes, it was something automatic; a mask to let others know you were okay.

“Alright, meet me outside my BMW after our shifts are done!”

“Okay.”

“Great!” Steve glanced at Robin who gestured at the clock ticking above them, “Shit! It's almost time for our last break! Let's go!” Steve turns and heads to the break room, you and Robin follow suit.

Entering the break room you sit down, out a folded sheet of paper and pen you pull out from the breast pocket of your Family Video vest and begin writing.

All your emotions, pain, tears, things you've experienced in the Upside Down you pour into the letter. You don't care that you're making grammatical errors, it is imperative that these feelings come out. You miss Eddie, you miss him terribly. You keep expecting he'll pop out somewhere and say “Surprise, sweetheart. I'm alive!” But you know that's impossible.

Meanwhile, Steve and Robin from the other side of the break room are formulating a plan to help you further.

“Steve, you did great! She's not quite a shell of her former self anymore!” Robin's eyes shine in delight, happy to see her friend slowly but surely getting better.

“But I haven't done anything yet.” Steve dismisses his actions as though they were nothing, but Robin noticed an immediate change in your countenance.

“Take it from me, I've been around her longer than you at the front desk. After Eddie's death she's been something like a zombie, not even living just existing.” Robin explains, this is how she's seen you recently.

You don't listen to much music, read, go to the arcade, swim or any of the things you used to be so excited about doing. Until now, you've picked up another hobby you used to do: write.

“So, she's making progress?” Steve tentatively asks.

Robin playfully scoffs, “Yes, dingus!”

Once you've finished writing down your thoughts as thoroughly as you could at this time, you heave out a sigh, deflating like a balloon. You fold up your letter and stuff it into your jeans.

A large hand made contact with your shoulder, you looked up to see its owner, it's Steve grinning down at you, “You okay?” he asks, still smiling but his brown eyes hold concern and compassion for you.

Smiling back at him you say, “As good as I can be, I guess.”

“Better than nothing!” Steve bellows, his hand moves to your back, “I'm here for you, no matter the time of day or night for that matter. If you need to talk, call me and I'll come pick you up! I want to help get you through this.” Steve removes his hand from your back and crouches down so he is eye level with you so, “Will you let me?” His voice brims with kindness.

Surprised by Steve's actions, you can only look at his face as the answer falls from your lips, “Yes, of course Steve.” You needed the support right now, “Thank you, Steve and I'm sorry.” You didn't want to be a burden to him, or to anyone that's why you were taking your grief on alone.

“Don't ever apologize for needing help every now and then. We'll get through this together.” Steves’ eyes shine brightly with sincerity.

“Thank you.” You thank him once again for his offer to help you.

Glancing down at his watch Steve comments, “We have to get back out there! We only have two hours left of our shift!” Steve looks at you once again, “Can you make it? It's just two more hours. You know, you'd better stick with me, I don't want you to be alone.” A smile as bright as the sun graces his handsome features.

“But Robin–” you glance at Robin who had been watching the entire exchange, she is grinning and giving you a thumbs up with her freshly manicured nails. “Alright, I'll stick with you.”

You'd never know it but Steve's insides are dancing the conga. “Okay!” Steve stands upright, “Time to get back to work, Robby!” You chuckle softly at the nickname Steve calls Robin. Rolling her eyes in annoyance, Robin then smiles at the both of us, “Y/n, we are here for you, and I'm positive the kids are too.”

Another smile that doesn't reach your eyes pulls at your face when you think of the kids, especially Dustin, “I know, thank you, Robin.”

Exiting the break room you tug gently on Robin's work vest, she turns to face you,“If you need me, please call me up to the front.”

Robin chuckles, “Y/n, this has been one of the slowest days, the earthquake really messed with everyday life in Hawkins. I mean, Steve removed and re-stocked the videos out of sheer boredom…I'm surprised he didn't alphabetized them.”

Wait, Steve did what?

Robin must've seen the face you're making, “Don’t look so shocked. It's been a long time coming he does some actual work rather than fail at flirting with the girls that come by.” Robin snorts out a laugh.

“Really? Wow.” You were shocked, you had no idea what was happening around you. The shock manifested itself as a wake-up call.

The world hadn't ended because Eddie Munson had died.

“Yeah, well you better tail Steve the rest of our shift. I don't want to keep you all to myself.” Robin playfully slapped your shoulder.

“I will, I mean,” you look around the store, there are no customers, “it's not like we're busy.”

“There ya go!” Robin beams, walking away from you back to her post at the front counter.

Walking around Family Video you find a familiar head of chestnut hair standing up to the heavens and standing next to a pile of tapes. Upon closer inspection he seems to be concentrating on a particular video in his hands, it's a title you recognize.

“Carrie, huh?”

Your voice broke Steve out of his trance, he blinked before turning his head to face you he smiled instantly, “Yeah, I'm curious about it.”

Having watched the movie several times during your horror nights with Eddie, you knew your stuff about this film, “About what?”

“Well, this Carrie girl, what's her deal? Is she a monster of some sort?”

You couldn't help but chuckle at Steve's genuine cluelessness, “No, she's not, she's just a normal girl, well fundamentally speaking.”

Your words make Steve furrow his brows in thought, “What does that mean?”

“It means she's a girl that has telekinesis, she moves objects using her mind.” Explaining her powers to Steve you notice his eyebrows relax, that's one answer he's gotten.

“Oh? Wow! El is like her!” Steve grins, his white teeth shine brightly.

Curious as to who El is, you question Steve, “Um, who?”

Steve facepalms, “I'm sorry! I completely forgot you haven't met her yet.” Steve puts away the copy of Carrie in its proper place and gestures to the pile of tapes next to him, “Help me put those away and I'll explain it.”

Nodding your head you maneuver to the tape pile and take the first one on top Friday the 13th. Furrowing your brows you glance around the aisle, you're in the horror/suspense section. Placing the movie where it belongs Steve starts his explanation.

“She is a friend of the kids, a rather extraordinary one at that. She has telekinesis too, but it takes a lot out of her. You have to meet her!” Steve excitedly expressed.

Pacing back and forth putting videos away you let Steve's words penetrante your mind.

A girl with supernatural powers?

This you gotta see!

“Yeah, I'd like that.”

“Good! It's settled then!” Steve puts more tapes away.

Two Hours Later…

Finally your monotonous shift has ended, you, Robin, and Steve head out the door together.

“What an eventful shift.” Robin comments, her tone laced with sarcasm.

Steve held in a laugh while you looked at the sky. It was still bright out, the sun hadn't reached the horizon. The sky had taken an orange glow making cumulus clouds above you appear pink. Several birds fly over the three of you, headed toward a destination you didn't know, you want to guess away from Hawkins.

Fly little birds, get away from here. You think to yourself.

You feel a tap on your shoulder, “Ready to go?” Steve beams, holding up the keys to his BMW.

“Yeah, I am.” You smile back.

“Great! See you next week Robin!” Steve hugs Robin who over his shoulder made a look of disgust that made you laugh.

Robin decided to make it her mission to make you laugh until the grief passed you. She noticed it was a genuine laugh but not quite like the ones she heard before Eddie's death.

That's a start. Robin thought to herself.

Steve pulled away and Robin had a smile plastered on her face, “What did you do?”

“Nothing, dingus!” Robin feigns ignorance, holding her hands up in mock surrender.

“See you next week, Robin. Take some time to chill out this weekend.” Hugging your friend, you impart these words to her, they're sincere.

“You too, Y/n.” Robin hugs you back, you feel her support and care for you in her embrace. She's such a great friend.

“Are you sure you'll be okay going home by yourself? I'm sure Steve won't mind dropping you off at home first.” You gently nudge Steve with your elbow.

“-W-wha–huh? Oh, yes of course.” He agrees albeit a little disappointed.

“Great! Thanks guys!”

-

Steve pulls into Robin's driveway. Being the gentleman he is, Steve opened Robin's side door after putting his car in ‘park’ and escorted her to her porch, he even waited until she was fully inside her home.

After bidding their final goodbyes Steve walks back to his car and through his windshield tells you to move to the passenger side.

Unbuckling your seatbelt you open the rear door, exit out of the car only to find the passenger door open, Steve gave you a radiant smile that made your face heat up, “For you, ma'am.”

“Thank you, sir.” Smiling at his playful gesture you enter the passenger side of his car, take your seat, and patiently wait for Steve to drive you to your unknown destination.

Steve enters the drivers side, checks his mirrors and looks behind him making sure things are clear, safe for him to drive. Once he saw that it was safe he backed out of Robin's driveway, put his BMW in ‘drive’ and made his way out of the neighborhood.

Once you’d made it onto one of the main roads you turn to face Steve, “Um, Steve? Who are we going to see?”

Steve, keeping his eyes on the road chuckled a little bit, “Sorry, it's a secret. Though I'm sure if you thought about it, you'd figure it out.”

Figure what out?

The answer hits you like a freight train going full force.

“Eddie…” you breathe out like the answer has stolen most of your air.

“Yeah, the man himself.” Steve makes a left turn, “Do you know what you wanna say?”

Pulling out the letter you'd written earlier, you wave it slightly, “I have some things written here.”

“Perfect!” Steve happily exclaims. He's honestly happy just spending time with you.

Making another left turn you spot a sign.

Stone Mountain Cemetery

You hadn't been here in two weeks and when you were here last Eddie– even your thoughts couldn't finish as you felt warm streaks of tears fall from your irises.

Steve took a quick glance at you and his face fell. Maybe this was too soon for you, “Do you need me to turn around? We don't have to do this.” Steve calmly reassures you, ready and willing to turn around and take you home.

Steve's words bring comfort to your distressed state. Suddenly you feel a surge of courage travel up your body.

“I have t-to do this. I-I n-need to see him.” Through your broken sobs and sniffles you say what's on your mind with determination.

You will see Eddie and tell him what you'd been feeling since he's been gone.

Steve pulls into a parking spot and sits for a minute, putting a supportive arm around your shoulders he promises, "I'm here for you. Today, tomorrow and every day after.”

Taking some deep needed breathes, you feel your rapid heartbeat beginning to steady, your tears less frequent, and your mind more focused on what you need to do.

“Thank you so much, Steve.” Leaning your head onto his shoulder you voice your gratitude for his patience and care.

He kisses your head, he feels your hair against his lips, “You're welcome, I'm happy to do this for you.”

“Steve?”

“Yeah?”

“Do you mind holding me while I read what I have to say to Eddie?”

“Not at all, hun.” He didn't hesitate in answering you.

  “Alright then,” unbuckling your seatbelt, you lean out of Steve's embrace, “let's go.”

  Steve follows suit unbuckling his seatbelt.

  Exiting his car you look up at the sky once again, the sun is about thirty minutes to the horizon and that works perfectly for you.

  Steve appears beside you, sporting a smile, “Ready?” His large hand is held out for you to take.

  Which you take right away.

  “I am, lead on, Steve.” smiling back, it still doesn't reach your eyes from Steve's perspective but he's happy to be helping you in your time of need.

  If you could guess how long you had been walking until you reached Eddie's grave you'd say about 5 minutes, so not long at all.

  “We made it,” Steve says with a somber tone.

  “Yeah…” the familiar placing of each headstone leading up to Eddie's you remember, as if you could forget such an unhappy event.

“So,” Steve scratches the back his head and gazes out into the sunset, “you know what you're gonna say.”

  “I do, I mean– I did, ahh fuck it!” Taking the letter you wrote during your break you crumble it up.

 “Isn’t that important?”

  “Yeah, but I'm just gonna say what's on my mind rather than this,” you hold up the crumbled note, “please hold me, Steve.”

  “You got it.” Steve smiles with sadness in his eyes but puts his arm around your shoulders, pulling you as close as he can.

 “Thank you.” You voice your gratitude, feeling something blossom in your chest you don't quite recognize; you'll think on that when you're not grieving.

  Clearing your throat you begin, “Dear Eddie,” you pause taking a deep breath “the two weeks that past since you were laid to rest have been hell, or to be more precise, empty.” Your voice dropped an octive, feeling the sadness creep it's way up your body. “While I didn't see you die, Dustin told me how it happened, how brave you were in not running away. I always knew you were courageous.”

  Chuckling softly you continue, “You said to Dustin to take care of the sheep because you– were going to graduate.” Tears pour from your eyes as Steve holds you impossibly closer.

  “Honey, you're doing great.” He plants a kiss on your temple.

  “You didn't deserve this fate. You deserved to have your name cleared with all of our help. Then, once you graduated, you'd get the hell out of Hawkins– or whatever you wanted to do as long as you were alive!”

  Anger rose to the surface of your emotions, “Fuck the demobats. Fuck the upsidedown. Fuck Vecna. And Fuck Hawkins lab! All of them are culprits in taking those we care about away!”

  Unbidden faces pop into your mind: Chrissy Cunningham, Fred Benson, Patrick McKinney, and Max Mayfield, the last miraculously survived the attack with severe injuries but you still couldn't help but think of the others that have perished that had some sort of a connection with Hawkins Lab.

  From the very first peculiar thing to occur with Will Byers all the way up to Eddie Munson. Those different faces, some good, some bad all had their lives taken from them.

  A large flame has been lit within your body, you clench your fists, “He’ll pay for this…” 

  “Hun?” Steve questions with concern in his voice.

  “Eddie Munson, I promise you, your death will NOT be in vain. Vecna will be defeated, the gates WILL close and Hawkins will go back to the way it was before all this fucked up shit happened. I don't yet know how it'll happen but I will not stop until all of this hell ends.” Anger infused with determination to end the hell that's been happening has come to life within you.

  Wiping away the remaining tears that made their escape from your eyes with your forearm you close, “Love your Sweetheart, Y/n.” Shoving the crumbled note back in your pants pocket your knees buckle and you begin to sob heavily.

  Steve embraces you fully, letting you cry in his strong arms, “That's it, let it all out hun.” Steve gently rubs your back, he feels your body tremble, “I've got you.”

  Unbeknownst to the both of you an unseen friend of you both was watching the scene unfold in its entirety, “Well, damn, sweetheart. If I didn't know better I might think you were in love with a dead guy!” Eddie lets out a hearty laugh at the very idea. 

  “But I hope you'll be okay…” doubt plages Eddie's mind.

  “She will be fine” a voice simultaneously familiar and unfamiliar to Eddie spoke gently.

  “Yeah,” Eddie had no doubt in his mind now, you will be okay. “Harringtons got her.” Placing a translucent hand on Steve's shoulder, he says.

“Don't cha, big boy?”

-

Tag list

@andvys @melodymunson

[trigunsbbygirl]

I read both your Vash and Knives reverse isekais and loved them. I wad just sad that the brothers were split up again, so what if you wrote both brothers appearing in our world? That way they can be together and be happy?

ofc!! they deserve to be happy and just be silly little brothers together again hhbmmn

anyways sorry in advance I think I was possessed by like Miku or smth bc I do not shut up about music for the first like 600 words idek why

also kinda bring up potential v relationship for a bullet point or two, but yeah, many thoughts on the two of them..

•do not split them up! (I say after having split them up lol)

•but what I mean is, congratulations! you now have two(2) roommates!🎉 (rip if you live in a v small apartment lol)

•like I said in my Knives isekai hcs, he gets into composing music, but! this time Vash learns along with him and they make music together often. when they collaborate the songs usually end up being longer than 5 minutes and they always have intense emotions put into them. there'll be a soothing piano/violin/flute part before it crescendos into chaos.

•this is kinda their way of dealing with their past with eachother. they haven't talked about it all yet, (they will eventually, it's just a very big can of worms to open that will probably take years to go through and neither one is quite ready) but for now, making music together like this is how they deal with it,,

•over time, especially after Vash and Nai have started deailing with everything,, their songs together do get less anguished, pained and sad, and overall feel much more light. they took a bit of a break during that time, but after the two got past the hardest parts, they wanted to make a new song together and it was rather peaceful. a bit melancholic at times but the song ended happy.

•Vash gets into writing lyrics more than Nai does, although Nai does read over Vash's work and gives suggestions when asked. but when Nai does write lyrics, damn does he do an amazing job.

•Vash does the singing too! unfortunately, I don't think Nai would be too into singing, maybe just being a low harmony just barely audible against Vash's voice and the music. it's a shame, he probably has an insanely good singing voice;(

•if you're into singing Vash begs you to sing the songs he writes, even if you're not great at it. if you agree, he's got the biggest grin on his face, his eyes sparkling. Vash listens very intently, taking in the way you sing every note and syllable. he's committing it to memory and when you're done, Vash bombards you with compliments, saying you should sing more.

•Nai is a little more subtle with asking you to sing any songs he writes, but the way he stares at you a day after you sang for Vash is not. Nai won't ask for you to sing for him, rather, waiting for you to come to him and ask. (it's something Vash is trying to work on with Nai, that it's okay to ask for stuff and that you won't appear weak or next or whatever. idk how to explain it but I hc Nai trying to twist his wants/emotions to appear that you want it rather than him bc of pride and stubbornness? if that makes sense)

•anyways, you tell Vash about Nai staring at you a lot lately, and Vash thinks for a moment before saying he thinks Nai just wants you to sing for him, but he's just stubborn. Vash suggests that you ask if you could sing one of Nai's songs since he doesn't think Nai will actually ask.

•when Nai is listening to you sing, he switches between listening with his eyes closed and watching you carefully. it's honestly a little nerve-racking, but when you're done singing he opens his eyes with a small smile barely showing on his face and says, "you have a nice voice."

so sorry I went crazy with music for a second anyways

•Vash forces Nai to join in on movie night every weekend. Nai doesn't really care about movies but Vash loves them and there's so many he wants to see!

•Nai will watch them but he's got a scowl on his face the whole time, especially if it's a romance or comedy. or both.. he does like mystery and horror movies if they're done well. (I think he'd really like 1982 The Thing (much to Vash's dismay.) Nai really likes the practical effects and mood of it.)

•Nai is also lowkey really happy that he can watch cowboy movies again. unless a movie has really caught his eye, he usually picks westerns. they both really like Rango!

•Vash on the other hand, hates horror movies, especially if they're gorey. but, it was Nai's turn to choose so he'll try to endure it. he stays glued to your side, hugging your arm, and if he's too scared by the end, Vash will ask to sleep with you.

•Vash loves animated movies and comedies! he rewatches a lot of movies like Into the Spiderverse, Puss in Boots. he loves signing along to songs in movies, it's really cute.

•stupid thought that just came up but, if somehow Vash hadn't learned about rabbits and he watched Monty Python and the Holy Grail, he'd sit there wondering if that's what rabbits are actually like.

•there's a song called SEKAI-chan and KAFU-chan's Errand Ensemble and I can envision Vash and Nai having moments like the song.

like Vash wants a certain food, but they don't have ingredients and Nai is like just wait, we're going to the store tomorrow we'll have this instead. but Vash refuses and forces Nai to do rock-paper-scissors, and when Vash wins he's forcing Nai out the door.

•Vash usually forces Nai to go shopping with him. the times that he doesn't, Nai notices that Vash buys a lot of donuts and so Nai brings himself with everytime now so it doesn't happen again. Vash whines saying that they're cheap, but Nai argues that they've got so much dessert at home thanks to Vash already, they don't need more. Vash has a donut restriction now;( 3 a week and he can only bring a box home once a month. the only exception is when Vash makes the donuts himself. you guys always have so many donuts.

•Vash and Nai get insanely good at Mario Kart and they're both brutal too. they get really good at sniping with green shells and bananas it's a little scary. so, good luck getting first. Vash may be nicer and cheer you on if you get into first, but Nai is ruthless and competitive;; (okay there may be a few times where he let's you win but he'll never admit it, even if it's obvious.)

•they aren't afraid to play dirty either lol. they'll punch and push eachother and Nai will use his blade tentacles(?) to try and obscure Vash's vision. Vash will try to just grab Nai's controller and keep it away from him.

•you know it's just silly sibling rivalry, but sometimes you worry it'll just turn into a fist fight. it never actually does and when they're done playing Vash turns to Nai and says "haha good games, I had fun:)" and Nai replies, "likewise."

•it's the same with other games like that too.

•while Nai is more into cooking, Vash loves baking! you always come home to see Vash decorating a dessert or pulling a loaf of bread out of the oven. he's really excited and wants to try as many foods as he can. there's so many different types!

•Vash tends to make a lot of deserts and bread, especially donuts, so when that happens, he's offering them to the neighborhood or apartment complex.

•Vash also shows Nai recipes he wants to try eating and begs Nai to make them. Vash helps by cutting any vegetables or shredding food, but Nai does the mixing and cooking. you've asked if they needed any help but Vash just smiles and says that 'they've got it and that you don't to worry about anything. you just sit back and rest until the food is ready!'

•it's the least they could do they think, since they most likely can't get a job, you know, with no ssn, birth certificate and identity cards..

•you still do the dishes though and Vash always tries to help. if you refuse he kinda sulks before just wrapping his arms around your waist and resting his chin on your head. it makes it a bit difficult to move around but you don't mind. he just wants to hang out with you<3

•getting into romance hcs a little, neither of them would make a move on you until after they've started talking and working on their past. not only are tensions high between them, but it would also be too many emotions to deal with. especially Nai. he hardly even acknowledges you in the beginning.

•Vash on the other hand jokingly flirts with you, and if you're comfortable with touch, pats your shoulder, puts an arm around it, hugs you and so on. but it never passes from friendly gestures, even if he does like you.

•if they find out they both like you, it kinda gets tense in an awkward way. they just started learning how to live with eachother, now they have to navigate having feelings for you?

•Nai is actually the first one to bring it up to Vash, stating bluntly that they both like you and it's getting annoying skirting around it. there really isn't too much to talk about, they decide to let things play out. if you end up having feelings for either twin, the other would be happy and supportive. if you like both Nai and Vash, it takes another little talk between all three of you before they're nodding along and saying that they could definitely try for you. it's a little bumpy at first, but you guys make it work<3

•also they don't try to fight over you or try to win you over in any way. Vash may be a little more touchy and Nai more expressive with you, but it's just to try and show you that they like you.

•Vash loves painting everyone's nails. Nai grumbles a little, but he always indulges Vash as long as it isn't a neon color.

•Nai dresses formally in a comfortable way, a (usually white or light blue) button up with the sleeves rolled up and dress pants. it's always either black or white socks and they go past his ankle too so you can't see his skin when he sits down</3 he also always irons his clothes after they've been washed.

•Vash on the other hand dresses a lot more casual, maybe picks up on streetwear? lots of hoodies though, he loves them! his wardrobe is colorful, but there's still more red than any other color

•after 120+ years, they finally get to celebrate a birthday together:(!!! and really, I think it's the first time they'd actually celebrate their birthday in general, Nai seeing no point in it really and Vash thinking he doesn't deserve to celebrate it.

•but! it's their first birthday together again after they've made up so Vash wants to go all out and celebrate eachother and the fact that they have made up.

•lets ignore that money exists for a bit but, Vash goes ALL out. he's decorating the whole living room and kitchen with streamers, balloons, flowers, anything he can get his hands on. Vash buys his and Nai's and favorite drinks and snacks, he's setting the snacks up in fancy looking plates, and even if it were just juice, he's pouring it into wine glasses.

•he gets a fancy two teir white cake with the edges frosted a light blue, with those pearl candies evenly placed on them. there's also frosted flowers placed in certain areas too. the top has happy birthday! written in cursive. (I can't describe it for shit but trust me it's a really pretty cake.)

•a week before, Vash is begging you to take Nai grocery shopping on the day of their birthday so Vash can set everything up.

•Nai knows something is up when Vash refuses to go shopping, trying to keep a straight face, but he decides not to question Vash. he supposed it had something to do with their birthday, so the two of you go shopping.

•Nai can't lie, he's actually really happy to be spending birthdays with his twin again after so many years. he may not have celebrated his birthday, but it was a bit of a lonely and upsetting day. he's thankful that he can be with Vash in peace now, that their presence with eachother is no longer filled with exasperation and violence.

•when you two get home and Nai opens the door, Vash is there, pulling on the string of a confetti popper, yelling out happy birthday before throwing himself at Nai for a hug. Nai only grunts a little, taking in the decorated house as he wraps an arm around Vash. "you know we're going to have to clean this all up?"

Vash only laughs, pulling away with the biggest grin, "it's our first birthday together in forever! of course I had to go all out!"

•even though it's just the three of you, it's a lot of fun. Vash completely spoiled Nai with presents (some heartfelt, others practical, and a few that were just gag gifts. Nai scowls at those much to Vash's joy.) Nai had gotten him a lot more useful/practical gifts, but he did buy Vash a geranium earring and when Vash opens the box, Nai explains that he has the second earring. Vash tears up, immediately putting it on and forcing Nai to put on the other one. he takes a lot of selfies with Nai after that.

•towards the end of the day Vash is asking to make a pillow fort so that you all can have a movie marathon of everyone's favorite movies. it's a little crowded at first with how tall they are, but you all get comfy and they end up cuddled against you.

•you and Vash fall asleep first and Nai notices that, he turns off the movie and device before quietly getting out of the fort to put away leftover food and drinks. once he's done, Nai gets back in and gets back into the position he was in earlier, cuddled up to you, deciding to sleep as well.

[madwomansapologist]

Queen Maeve: fake dating

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synopsis: When the new member of The Seven and Queen Maeve made fans hearts go crazy, Vought decide that is was the perfect moment to a little fake relashionship. A saphicc couple would grant then so many points with the youngs and queers! They only didn't know that Queen Maeve had feelings for you. You also didn't know that.

notes: I did something different this time, hope y'all like it

warnings: female!reader. Vought deserve its own warning.

• You pinched yourself all the way to your first public appearance as a member of The Seven. That must be a dream! It happened before. While trying to sleep, at the shower, going to your mundane work: you imagine yourself on that position. But your pinches didn't wake you up. Fucking god, you are part of The Seven!

• Ashley helped you on the entrance surrounded by journalists and civillians. They were there... for you? They screamed your name, asked for pictures, thank you for all you did for them. You dreamed about a moment like this, but now it is true. It seens like you will need time to understand that.

• When you finally made it into the building, Ashley accompanied you while talking about how high your numbers with young women were and how your "new girl in town" energy made you popular with both men and women. What does that even mean? She grumbled that your name could have been better, Ice Princess was so basic, but at least it worked with kids. Your mind wasn't capable of holding all the information she told you, but you knew that when the lights went on you need enter the stage with Madelyn fucking Stillwell.

• It was different then the day Starlight was announced. Many women were on the stage talking about how the world need more women on important positions. Girl power! No one pronounced the name, but they were talking about The Deep. He was replaced after the horrible things he did to Starlight. Replace by you. Thats the reason why no other member of The Seven were there: Vought didn't want to appear like that story would happen again.

• Your first meeting with the team was... like being on heaven. Your heroes were right in front of you. Noir was just like you imagined: a mistery that would never be solved. A-Train sounded so mature, so knowing of the weight on his shoulders. Translucent weren't there, he was in a important secret mission. Homelander was some kind of Jesus. But not everything was perfect.

• Starlight seem... kinda sad. Almost melancholic. Maybe she wasn't on a great day. Maybe she didn't like you. That scared you, but you could be wrong. But there were her. Queen Maeve. They all were heroes, but she was your hero. The women you look up to. Your inspiration. And if Starlight seem uncomfortable, she seem enraged.

• Your tried to lie to yourself. To pretend that it was just your mind tricking you into thinking that everyone hates you. It would've worked if all the other heroes didn't seem to like you. And the possibility of you being just confused was ruined when you had to use the bathroom.

You faced Starlight when you walked out of the bathroom cabin. She was in front of the mirror arranging her gold hair, that wasn't even messy, and made eye contact with you. A odd taste rule your mouth, but you tried to mask your discomfort with a smile. She didn't smiled back.

Washing your hands, you felt her gaze. You dried them, trying not to look like you were about to run out of there (because you were), but her words stopped you. "Its your first day here", pointed Starlight. She sighed, now facing you. "I won't be able to sleep without telling you what I wish someone had told me when I was on your position."

Your smile was so big it hurt your cheeks. You were wrong. Starlight don't hate you. She was just worried. "You wanna give me advice?"

"Yes. I do", Starlight stopped herself. It was like she wasn't sure how to proceed. "You know that image you have about The Seven? Forget it. It was all made by the marketing team. Don't trust them. Don't you ever make the mistake of trust them."

And as quickly as it came, your smile faded away. "W-What are talking about?" You didn't notice your hands shaking. "Is it a hoax?"

"You seem like a good person." Starlight passed by you, walking towards the door. "I hope you don't make the same mistakes I did. But, if you do, I'm here."

And she left you alone with your thoughts. You gazed the door, waiting for her to come back and joke about how scary you look. But the only thing that you saw was the last bathroom cabin door opening.

Queen Maeve walked toward the sink, glaring at you with a look that you couldn't understand. It was like a parody of an affectionate look. Something that should be seem as friendly. She licked her rosy lips, washing her hands beside you.

"I wouldn't have warned you. But now that she did, guess its my turn to give you some advice." Queen Maeve stopped right in front of you. You looked up to be able to see her face. "Do not disturb me, princess."

• You quickly understood what Annie meant. It was all about money. They sold themselfs. Their bodies, their morals. It made you feel deceived. At least Annie was nice. She helped you. Annie said she was only doing what she wish someone had done for her, but a friendship between you both grown. If you only could said the same about Queen Maeve.

• Part of you feel betrayed. She was your hero. The reason for you to fight. All those times you felt like giving up you think to yourself that Queen Maeve would never gave up. But then all she does is discuss about copyright. The other part feel wronged. She is a woman after all. Shouldn't her be with you both? You can't stop to think about when Annie vented about what that asshole did to her. Maeve knew who he really was. Apparently everyone knew. She could've have done something. She could've have warned her. She could've have protect her. She could at least have supported her.

• Its like everyone say: never meet your heroes.

Ashley said that being on a pair with Queen Maeve would bring you both so many audience points. You didn't want to be around Maeve, but you learned with Starlight mistakes: you accept what Vought give to you. You just didn't imagine that a ambush would last so longer.

Hidden inside a car, all you had to distract yourself was your powers. You made your fingertips freeze against the window, forming little drawings. You form some flowers, then cleaned with your arm so you could drawn more.

"Can't you just focous?" grumbled Maeve. Being around her wasn't comfortable, but at least you both seem to agree that silence was the better option. But when Maeve have a mean coment to make, she will.

"Am I disturbing you?" Your fingers were frozing, and yet your eyes burned her skin. You took down the binoculars on your lap.

"Someone is sensitive today", Maeve rolled her eyes. She checked the license plate she was looking for, just to make sure. "I'm just saying you should pay attention. You need those audience points."

"I'm paying attention. You can't do two things at the same time?"

Maeve didn't answer you. She smiled, what was as difficult to understand as her eyes. "You really do hate me, huh? C'mon, princess, show me your claws."

"I don't hate you." You really were sincere about it. "I just don't respect you. You are a empty doll the markenting create. Eveything you are is a meaningless product. I definitely don't hate you."

"That was supossed to hurt me?" Thats it. Now you get. The problem was on Maeve's eyes. Don't matter how sincere or careful the rest of her face look, those blue eyes always seem to be making fun of whoever she is looking at. They always seem to be mocking you. "You look at me like you hate me. Stop that. Or we won't be able to sell that we are good friends."

"Don't worry, I discovered that I am a great actress." You smiled back. You spend more time recording for Vought than fighting. Even that ambosh can't be considering saving someone. The car you both are using is from a sponsor. Your knew uniform will be anounced today during the recordings the hidden cameras are making. Your tights are almost completely visible. You aren't a hero anymore. "And I don't look at you with hate. It is fear."

"Fear?" Maeve's eyes seem to glow. "Of all people, I am the one that you are affraid of? I thought you were clever."

"I'm affraid of ending up like you."

For the rest of the night Maeve didn't opened her mouth again.

• It seem to be the year Maeve would have to deal with hopeful freshers. Starlight was already a problem, but now she have a partner in crime. Great. All she need was you to show how higher and nicer you were compared to her. She hated you. Maeve hated how you make all her flaws more apparent. At least you are more subtle about your goodness than Starlight.

• At the beginning she thought you were manipulative. Maeve notice how you pretend to still be living the dream, unknowing to the their flaws. That won Homelander's compassion. He treat you like an apprentice. Like someone he can shape. Maeve thought you were using his necessity of praises and doe eyes against him, but she don't think that way anymore.

It happenned when Homelander killed in front of you for the first time. You couldn't help but to stare at all those bodies. All that blood. It was... you never saw anything like that. Not even in movies. You couldn't have imagine that someone could have so much blood.

"Dont look at me that way", Homelander held you by your arms. He wasn't agressively, but he stained you with blood. While your face was apathetic, frozen because of the grotesque, your eyes were enough to show what you were feeling. "Stop that. I told you to stop."

"He was", your mouth remained open, but no words came out of it. Homelander hold you tighter, your eyes flew away from the body and landed into his ocean blue eyes. So blue. So unnatural. "Unarmed."

"Oh." He smiled. Starlight's smile is so bright, Maeve is satirical, but his... His smile was sterelized. It was like something trying to look human. Trying to hard to look human. "Princess, my sweet princess, what do you think would happenned if he let him go away? He would tell everyone how he were unable to protect those stupid people. We don't want that, do we?"

"But we..."

"But?" Homelander asked. His smile was gone. "There is no 'but' here."

"She is in shock." Starlight were shaking, and yet was more capable than you. "Not everyone is used to killing people."

He didn't move. You could see something conquering his face. It was a cold rage, agressive yet silent. You knew he didn't trust Starlight. He was always looking for a reason to make her life harder. And she was trying to protect you, even tho she could be putting herself in danger. "So we did the right thing?" Your voice was nothing but a weak whisper. You hold his hands, stroking the bloody glove. You learned to read him. He is just fine with being hated, but he would prefer to be loved. "Didn't we?"

The change was instantaneous. He was smiling again, but this time it seem more real. Homelander eyes glared at you with kindness. "Yes. Yes, we did." He look at the rest of the team. "Finally someone with a working brain here."

• Since then her opinion about you change. You were kind to choose to take Homelander's attention away from Starlight, while being clever enough to do it in a way that work, while also being strong to put yourself together after seeing a massacre. If you were manipulating him, you wouldn't be shaking with big tears sliding across your face. You were... something.

• After that she keep an eye on you.

• Maeve notice that you tend to agree to whatever Ashley and Madelyn say. No questions, no hesitation, just obedience. It wasn't fear. It was just caution. Beside Starlight, you found a way to have a good relationship with every member of The Seven. For Homelander you were a smart girl that need to be guided. With A-Train you were more snarky, but respectful. Not friends, but not a threat. Maeve is not so sure, but she thinks that you and Noir are friends. One time you entered the elevator with a coloring book on your hands, and a few days later Maeve saw Noir drawing on it during the lunch. She also saw him buying chocolate with nuts, something that you tend to eat during meetings.

• It was a smart move. To be close to everyone. You aren't dumb, you know that the best your relationship with the team is the safer you are. She understand your true friendship with Starlight, your pretend facet to Homelander, your respect toward Madelyn. She don't understand your friendship with Noir, thats for sure. She seem to be the only person you absolutely hate. And it kinda sucks.

• Specially when it is just you two. People really enjoy when you both work together, and Vought give them what they want. And it actually really works. Maeve is the sword, you are the shield. Her experience and your energy go well together. So is commom for Maeve to be around you. To be stuck in a ambush. Or to be together all the way since the Vought's parking lot til the hallway were your rooms are. It sucks to be around you because she can feel your hate. No. Not hate. Your fear of becoming her.

Money flew because of the wind. The rain washed the blood from your skin. Your hands hold the gun pointed to your head. The thief pulled the trigger, but the layer of ice you created stopped the bullet. The pressure has you knocked to your knees.

Maeve had just finished a man when she heard the shot. Without thinking twice, she punched him in the face. It was enough for him to faint. "You fine?" She crused the gun with her feet, making it impossible to use again."

"Yeah." Your fingers were bruised. With the back of your hands you brush the hair away from your face. Some of the blood on your skin was yours, but you never get really hurt. "Kinda."

Maeve reached out to you. You hesitated, but accepted the help. She put you on your feets and scanned your body, searching for any wounds. You felt shy under her gaze. "What happenned to your knees?"

"I felt yesterday." The knees are so important during a fight, but you will soon get used to the pain and it won't disturb you anymore. You stir your head, uncomfortable because the rain keep putting your hair in front of your eyes. "I'm fine."

Maeve bit her own tongue. "Come here." When you didn't move she sighed. "Just come here." You did as she asked. Right in front of Maeve, a thunder echoed. She walked around you, stopping behind you.

You shuddered when you felt her fingers on your hair. "What are you doing?"

"Helping you." She gattered your hair, using her fingers as a comb. So she tied up your hair on a ponytail. Maeve rested her hands on your shoulders, your skin was so cold. You were always so cold.

"Thank you, Maeve." You whispered, unable to move. Her hands were so warm. It was great to feel them on your skin.

"Is just Maggie." You turned to face her. She was so closed. Her armour touched your body, her metal colliding with your woof. "You can call me Maggie."

"Maggie", you tried the word. "Its a beautiful name."

You never disagreed with whatever Madelyn Stillwell said to you, but there are a first time for everything. "A fake relashionship?".

"Just for the cameras. Your audience points will... "

"Are you kidding me?" You interrupted Madelyn. "Is that a fucking joke?"

"So you can swear", Maggie laughed. "I didn't knew you were capable of that."

"This is crazy." You ignored her. "I won't do that. I've already sold enough of my body. I put on this stupidly short outfit, run with those uncomfortable heals, take all those pictures. I was on your movies. And I never said no to anything you wanted me to do. I won't sell the last bit of dignity that remains here."

And for that your obedience was useful. If you were like A-Train or Starlight, Madelyn would've said the most hurtful things without thinking twice. But you did everything right since the beginning, so that means she could use some of her patience with you. "Vought is not asking you to be naked. Your body will be just fine."

"Don't fucking lie to me." Maggie never saw you so mad. "I don't want that."

"What do you think will happen when some vulture discover your sexuality?"

"What the hell?" said Maggie. "Are you blackmailing me?"

"I wasn't talking to you, Maeve." Stillwell glared at you. "We spend a lot of money to pay those that come after us with photos of you. One day they will come to the journals instead. Then what will happen? The conservatives that once loved you... Your appeal with men gonna fall so bad. Depending of the photos even who isn't homophobe will call you a slut."

You cheeks were burning. Now you were almost punching her face. Maeve notice how you clenched your fists.

"But this is the perfect moment to put you both out of the closet." All you family and friends knew about your sexuality, but it didn't matter for the rest of world. "Your couple even have a hashtag. 'Royalty.' Oh, I only wish I have tought of that name. It fits your narrative so well."

"Stop that." Maggie grabbed your hand and made you stand up. "Don't embarrassed her. We gonna do it."

Madelyn smile was so bright. So fake. "Perfect. I knew you would help me."

She pulled you out of the room, but your shaky legs didn't let you move any longer. Your hands were freezing. Your whole body seen to be almost turning into ice. Your rage was so... you couldn't even hear your own thoughts.

Maggie opened the bathroom door, you don't even remember entering there. "Hey", Maggie tried to calm you. "You will be just fine."

"I hate that place", your voice was embargoed. You failed to stop a hiccup. "I hate everything here. I am not a person anymore. I am a thing. Not even my body is mine. When I die all that will remain will be pretty lies."

"It will be just fine. I promissed." Maggie lied, but that was what you need to hear. Just another pretty lie. "Everything will be just fine."

• It wasn't the most horrible thing. It wasn't comfortable, but at least it wasn't horrible. You both had to spend way more time together. It started with public signs of affection. She would help you with your hair, the public tend to love it, and you would clean Maggie's face after a fight. You go to events together, always found a time to bring eachothers name to any interview, hold hands while walking.

• It was all to foment a online discussion. It need to seem natural. People should be talking about how it was abviously that you're dating Maggie before the public announcement. Your instagram was filled with photos that showed someone with red hair behind you. Even the couch you took those pictures was a marketing decision.

• Maggie was... not what you imagined she would be like. She was sweet. Sarcastic and annoying and punchable, but sweet. Thats been a time since when you started to think different about her. You realized that maybe your reaction to her was because you felt like looking at a mirror. Starlight was everything you wish you could be, but Maeve was all you think you are. No, not Maeve, just Maggie. But being around her, having to actually interact with her, changed your mind.

• Maggie look carefree, but its just a appearance. She told you what was real about her history. Helped with your fear of what would happen to you in the future. Maggie told you that it gets easier. And she funny to. In a cinnical way, but she is. Its nice being around her.

• And you were glad you were doing this with her. She had done that before, the fake relashionship, so she helped you. You both have limits, places you don't want to be touched and things you don't want to be said to others. Its still embarrasing to feel her arms around you, her fingers caressing your hair, her lips kissing your forehead. It is weird because, sometimes, it don't feel like and act. But that was you being dumb. All that pretending thing just messed with your head. Sure that was the reason.

• Sometimes Maggie felt guilt. When you sit beside her on a interview and she hold your thigh. Or when you are walking somewhere and her hands are touching the bottom of your back. Or when she hug you after a mission. When her fingers caress your face. When the fake smile you put to the cameras make her heart skip a beat. Or when she sees you with someone else, someone from your personal life, and find herself in a spiral about who that person could be. Or when you ask her if your makeup is too dark. When she fight with you and suddenly start to think about how strong and powerful you are. When she heard a Taylor Swift's song on the radio and remind of you. When you make jokes about how Ashley never stop walking. When she says goodnight to you before entering her room.

• Maggie felt... everything. You make her feel everything. And you don't even seem to notice. If you only knew all the things she keep to herself so she can tell them to you. All the dirtiest jokes she only say to you because you will laugh. Do you notice that she always save you a seat? Or that she started to act nice around Starlight?

• Maggie isn't pretending and this is killing her.

You entered the bar thinking that you would have some time alone. You were wrong. "Guess we had the same idea."

Maggie was on her second Martini. "Rough day?"

"The worst." You go to the collection of bottles and got the best wine you could find. You didn't even use a glass, you drink it from the bottleneck. Maggie licked her bottom lip. You were right in front of her, on the other side of the balcony. "A-Train decided it was a great idea to irritate Homelander. Ashley screamed with me because I cut me hair without asking first. And yours?"

She brused her red hair from her face. She wasn't drunk, but her body was already warm. "Just boring." She analized your hair, noticing the change. Maggie reached out to touch it, brushing the back of her hand on your face. "You look gorgeous."

Your belly turned warm with her words. "Thank you."

Maggie released the lock. "You are welcome, princess." You took a big sip from the bottle. "Easy tiger. This is not your last day alive. You can drink more tomorrow."

"You don't know that", you arched your eyebrows. "It could be."

"And you would like to spend your last bit of time drinking?"

"Maybe." Her laugh made you smile. "I would die happy at least. And I would be drinking with you. If you were A-Train I would kill myself just to not look at him again."

"What a boring way to spend it."

"I don't have any regrets", you told her. "I think I deserve to spend my last day drinking and dancing."

"You don't have any regrets?" Maggie sound so grave. She drink the rest of her Martini without looking away. "Not even a single one?"

You hesitated. You could've just walked away. Go to your room and drink the rest of the bottle. Called someone to make you company. Sleep. You could've done no many other things. But you pulled Maggie into a kiss.

Your tongue danced with her, the bitter of her Martini blending in with your sweet wine. She hold your face, her fingers stroking your skin. It was calm, and intimate, and yearning. It was like finally find an oasis in the middle of the desert. It was meant to be.

"Not anymore." You whispered against her lips.

You could felt her smile.

GENERAL TAGLIST: @suakemi @notanalienindisguiseblink

if you enjoyed, please reblog! i promise it makes a difference ♡

@ madwomansapologist.tumblr

[goldberrg]

your face

summery : When you tell your best friend Eddie that you haven't been kissed since seventh grade, he offers to kiss you. There's only one catch : you don't know when he'll do it.

part one, 2 , 3 , 4

Eddie couldn't help but notice your expression as you watched Andy unknowingly pull little Mikey into the cave. You looked too melancholic for someone who was actively watching "Stooges". Bella sighed as the characters shared a sweet, childish kiss, resting their heads on their shoulders.

— Does Brant wear braces?

Eddie kicked you. — Can you stop thinking so loudly? I'm trying to watch a movie.

You snorted, teasing him. — Not all of us have blissfully empty brains, Munson.

— Not all of us look longingly at the TV when they watch children's films.

You rolled your eyes, blushing. — you interrupted a memory, asshole.

— Ah. — he nodded as if that was a perfectly reasonable explanation.

— I see. Have you often kissed your unsuspecting peers in caves? — this time he deserved a kick, an evil giggle escaped from his hands.

—I just… — you trailed off, watching Andy rush to his girlfriend, his eyes flashing in the light of the lantern.

"Steph, that was great."

You pulled your knees up to your chest, looking at Eddie. — I have to tell you something awkward.

His dark eyebrows arched in interest, and he tossed his sneakers onto the coffee table. — Please tell me, my lady.

The movie was moving in the background as you looked into those big brown eyes. — You'll laugh at me.

He shrugged his shoulders. — Probably. — he grinned when you hit him on the shoulder — What if I promise not to do it?.

— You studied his expression suspiciously. — I don't believe you, but I'll tell you anyway, because you have the privilege of a best friend.

— Damn it. He shook his fist triumphantly. — Come on, splash it out! I have a privilege.

You hesitated, cheeks flushed as Eddie stared at you. You are prepared for the coming ridicule. — I haven't been kissed since seventh grade.

He frowned, pausing to count on his fingers. — Oh, my God. — his voice wasn't teasing. It was half sad, which is even worse. You'd rather take a good-natured poke than be pitied.

— Are you serious? It's like seven years.

— Trust me, I know. — you muttered, crossing your arms over your chest.

Eddie looked confused. He bit his thumbnail. — What, you haven't found anyone you'd like to kiss? Not a single "worthy soul" has appeared since you turned thirteen?

— No, it's not even that. — your ears are warm with embarrassment. — I was interested in a lot of people. I think I'm just.. impossible to kiss.

There was a long silence. Eddie frowned. — Kissing isn't that good anyway, you know? Saliva, teeth and too much tongue… It's disgusting.

— Don't make me laugh. — you narrowed your eyes, and he sighed.

— Yes, you're right. It's unbelievable. — he should have known better than to try to deny the pleasure of one of his most favorite activities.— But you can't be kissed! You can really be kissed! Look at you!

His heart ached. He couldn't let that happen. His best friend, the girl he'd been fixating on for as long as he could remember, thinking it was impossible to kiss her? It's just ridiculous.

— I'll kiss you. — he said it before he even realized it. Your eyes widened, but he kept his cool. — What?

— You heard me. — he kept his voice even. — I'll kiss you.

[yuwumeniji]

Eyy Yuwu!!!!🍌 Thanks for your great writings! Could I request headcanons about Luxiem when they're drunk? Such as, who would be the affectionate, melancholic, can handle the drink(s) well, or the confesser of truths? Thanks <3

Luxiem as Drunkards

WARNING: Please remember that I am writing about Luxiem based on their characters online and not of the people behind their vtuber avatars, thank you!

EXTRA NOTES: i am not counting the drunk streams each boy did LMAO

GENERAL

Again, not counting their drunk streams (ok kinda, but i didn't watch them fully)

maybe kinda nsfw in the sense that there is h*nd h*ld*ng (flushge)

in my 19 years of living i never drank alcohol so......... soooo.......................... lmao

proofreader? hardly even know 'er!

MORE BELOW THE CUT

⊰᯽⊱┈───── ✧ ─────┈⊰᯽⊱

IKE EVELAND

a talkative and somewhat flirty drunk ; a lightweight(?)

he drinks often, especially after submitting the final draft of his manuscript as a celebration of "boy-did-i-procrastinate-on-this-thing-but-it-turned-out-great!"

he usually drinks with caution but tonight's manuscript was a big one - he deserves it

THE GAP MOE????

like he's flying off tables, he's dancing like a madman and oh my god get down from there PLEASE

he also goes around flirting with everything that breathes

like "hey baby do you want to get a drink together ;)"

but then he starts talking about how much he hates his shitty editors and how his next manuscript is

he then goes on rants about nonsensical things to how there's a rock in his left heel, how lukewarm the glass is and how come you have such a pretty face???

please take him home before he talks you ear off

LUCA KANESHIRO

the man of sex ; somewhat heavyweight(?)

for a mafia boss, drinking is second nature, especially with the people he's been meeting - however, he's in such a good mood tonight that he got a little reckless

picture; a secluded bar with just you, him and the bar staff - it's the perfect noire setting

if you think ike is flirty when drunk, wait til you meet drunk!luca

he's slinging out pickup lines left and right

but they're not like "aha are you a photographer? because i could picture you and i together ;)"

THEYRE THE ADULT ONES (eyes emoji)

he's also quite handsy, grabbing at others left and right and resting his face in the crook of your neck as you guys sit on a couch or something

actually he's the kind to rub his face in your shoulder like a big cat, it's kinda cute (?)

he does whine a little and gets a bit pouty if you try to push away

if anyone from the mafia family saw this, i wonder what the outcome would be?

MYSTA RIAS

a big baby drunkard who cries over the tiniest things ; the lightest lightweight out of the boys

he goes out drinking whenever cases don't go his way - the trial was a bummer, the criminal got loose and did he have to redo the case from square one because a variable was missing??

so pretty often

lets face it, despite his silliness, he tends to keep up a stoic face in front of everyone so the minute he winds down and has a swig of beer, he's already bawling his eyes out

"BUT WHAT IF THAT CASE I SOLVED WAS WRONG??" "WHY ME??" "WHY IS THE PANEL ON THE WALL A SLIGHTLY DIFFERENT SHADE OF BROWN IN COMPARISION TO THE REST UEUEUE"

actually, please never give him alcohol because he'll start crying to the point you wonder if he's got enough water in his body for that

SHU YAMINO

a very sleepy drunk ; world time heavyweight champion (it is difficult to get him drunk, also he's the most responsible out of them - he's actually a lightweight too)

shu doesn't drink. well, doesn't drink often BUT he does if he's out for social circumstances, so he was always cautious of his alcohol intake.

tonight was a little different! just a celebration between the two of you and it's at home anyways, so what's the issue here? well, many things

for starters, you would never have thought that he would start babbling nonsensical things - usually, he approaches every situation with logic, so the fact he starts talking about unicorns and whatnot is a big sign that "oh boy, he's drunk"

secondly, he could barely keep a conversation - he starts dozing off in between words and only hiccuping or accidentally banging his head on the table (because his head slipped from his hand) would wake him up

oh yeah did i mention he has a bad case of the hiccups

VOX AKUMA

also another baby ; a ...h...heavyweight??

vox is another social drinker who usually watches what he drinks - i mean, you wouldn't want to slip up to others that you were actually alive for 500+ years or whatever, right?

tonight, he decided to let loose a little y'know, feelin a little vulnerable rn

ok when i say baby, i meant like literally a baby

he's crying, he's whining and "y/nnnn~~~ uppies!!!"

but he also drinks whenever he gets down in the dumps... like REALLY down in the dumps

he's the kind of baby drunkard who would sob as he tells everything and everyone who would listen his whole life story

i dont expect you to lift a grown demon, but i'll give you props if you do i guess??

[shattered-eluvian]

life could be a dream

Babies first solavellan mini fic thingy... I am very new to writing as a whole so I cannot attest to the quality ;w; but I think I at least have Solas' voice down pretty ok? I hope??

I am very very shy sharing my writing 😂 but I wish to be brave...

____

Evie Lavellan/Solas || set after the balcony scene because it always seemed so abrupt and sombre and then the next romance scene is Halamshiral where he's relaxed in the relationship and having a grand ol' time, and I felt there had to be some manner of heart to heart/getting over some hang ups for them in between to get there!

it's free real estate, baybee.

“Ar lath ma, vhenan.”

His words carried a melancholic timbre as he turned to leave. Striding his way past through the balcony threshold and headed towards the stairs of Evie's quarters. This wasn't the first time he appeared to be unnerved by his feelings, with any glimpse of emotional vulnerability quickly buried under a mask of distant stoicism, and any glimmer of happiness chased away as quickly as it arrived. To Evie it was as frustrating as it was heart-breaking; he always seemed to carry the weight of far too much for any one man.

“Solas, wait.”

He paused at the top of the stairway, finding himself unable - or unwilling - to turn to face her. The gnawing dread of inevitability then began to creep through him. He knows this won't end well, and he will only have himself to blame when it happens. 

It was a losing game any way he played it, but he just can't seem to stop himself.

He was a man caught between living in a dream - to be seen, and loved as he is - and waking up and facing the cold unshakable reality of his duty. 

Would it truly be so terrible to dream, just a little while longer?

"Do you have somewhere you need to be in such a hurry, emma lath?" Evie said in as playful a tone as she could manage, in an attempt to mask her growing concern. 

He sighed, tense shoulders falling in defeat. He was a cornered animal, in a trap of his own making. 

"I- I'm sorry.” he sighs again, feeling himself uncharacteristically shrink in on himself, “I fear if I were to remain here, what little restraint I yet have would invariably falter. It–" he throws his hands up as he finally turns to face her, if only to further punctuate his statement. "It wouldn't be right.

"Restraint..?" she shot him a small puzzled look, "And what exactly are you holding back?"

He shook his head, unable to do anything but huff a small sad laugh. What indeed?

Evie moves to slowly close the distance between them, that growing concern now clearly etched upon her features as she met his gaze. He was always such a carefully guarded man, and she knew that seeing this side of him was a rare glimpse into his soul that very few - if anyone - got a chance to see. His loneliness. His guilt. His distrust. All bricks in this fortress he built around himself.

And it pained her.

"Would letting go… would it really be so terrible?" 

"You deserve better."

"And who are you to decide what I deserve?"  her tone is amused, if mildly incredulous, "What does that even mean, anyway?" she sighs as she takes another step closer toward him. "And why does it even matter? You are who I want to be with." 

"You truly have no idea what that means, vhenan."

"So tell me."

He looks at her - forlorn and defeated - he knows he should just walk away and end it now. But he won't. He knows full well he won't. He can't.

His expression shifts into something far more steely, his posture and demeanour returning to his typical, far more in command neutrality.  

However this was going to pan out he needed his composure. 

No cracks. No weakness.

"I've been hurt more times than I can count." he began, "So much betrayal, and people lost... I couldn't put that heavy burden on you."  He frowns as he paces where he stands. His hands firmly planted on his hips as he tries to keep his emotions in check. “You've shown me more kindness than I deserve. If you only knew what I have done? I'm not so sure you'd welcome me so freely… yet to lose you? That would break me. But to stay would be a far crueller fate."

Evie let his words wash over her like a sombre melody. He had - as he often had - said so much whilst saying so little. 

But it was enough. 

"Solas..." her voice barely above a whisper as she closes what little space remains between them, "Whatever it is you've done? Whatever you've been through? It’s in the past. I only know the man standing in front of me right now." She reaches a hand to touch him, placing it gently on his chest, "And what I see is no monster."

A crack. A weakness.

His composure briefly falters, the hand on his chest like a searing brand, the weight anchoring him in place. 

If only she knew.

Evie was the first to break this tense silence between them, she could see plainly that Solas was agitated, that she had opened up some old unseen wounds. And she had no desire to push him any further. 

“Solas. Ir abelas... I’m sorry.” She moved her hand to gently touch his cheek, the sensation snapping him out of his thoughts and back to her. “I didn’t mean to cause any upset. If you need time, if you need to leave…?” She takes a step back then, giving him space and a gentle smile.

He regards her for a moment, this small, mortal thing. A shadow of who she should be and yet filled with far more compassion than he had seen in millennia. It was all too real, and he found himself utterly powerless. Laid low by something as simple as unwavering kindness and a gentle heart.

It terrified him.

But he wanted more. 

“Thank you.” he finally spoke, his demeanour softening as he did so. “But that will not be necessary.” 

The anguish on his features seemed to melt away in an instant, replaced with a look nothing short of complete adoration. 

He chose to dream.

“Are you sure..?” she asked, somewhat bemused by his sudden change of tune. 

“In truth, there is very little I am sure about in this world, vhenan. But for you? I think I can make an exception.”

“Oh, well!” she laughed, “I’m honoured! I think?” 

Evie barely had time to appreciate the far more relaxed atmosphere that replaced the tension from earlier, her playful laughter cut short as Solas all but pounced on her, arms pulling her into a heady embrace that left her breathless. With one hand pressed at the small of her back, pulling her closer, and another gripped into her hair as he kissed her in ways that let her know his proclivity for tongue was not limited to the Fade. 

He was lost in the moment, enjoying being just Solas. The weight of his guilt and duty set aside even if only for the briefest of moments. Being seen – being loved – as just a man, and not some symbol greater than himself, for good or ill.

It delighted him.

The kiss soon broke just enough to give a very dazed Evie a chance to catch her breath. Solas pressed his forehead affectionately to hers, the tender gesture a contrast to the devilish look in his eyes as he all but admired his handiwork. 

“Fenhedis, Solas!” she huffed, “A little warning next time would be nice!”

There was a dark and mischievous quality to the chuckle she got in reply. He was far far too pleased with himself.

And all Evie could think at that moment was; Varric was right, it really is the quiet ones…

“And where would the fun in that be, vhenan?” 

The low, salacious quality his voice took on as he emphasised that otherwise rather innocuous endearment made Evie feel a little giddy. Seeing this side of him was certainly a rare treat, and one she would happily savour.

She could feel his eyes begin to bore into her, his body tensing like a coiled spring under her every touch.

Yet despite his obvious eagerness, he was waiting, patiently holding himself back until she, presumably, gave him some kind of sign that he could continue what he started. 

And she was more than happy to oblige. 

Twisting her fingers around the leather cord of the jawbone necklace he was never seen without, she gave it a coaxing tug as she took a step back toward the bed. 

He didn’t need telling twice.

________________

Sunlight gently filtered through the stained glass windows of Evie’s quarters, the colourful dappled light soon rousing her from sleep as it shimmered against her eyelids. With a sigh she wearily blinked her eyes against the light, wanting nothing more than to just roll over and go back to sleep.

Surely the Inquisition could go one day without her.

Wriggling herself under the blanket – just five more minutes – she patted the side of the bed where her lover should be, only to find it empty. 

She found she unfortunately wasn’t all that surprised by this outcome, but her heart still sank all the same. 

One step forward, two steps back.

“Ah! You’re awake. I took the liberty of getting the kitchen staff to bring us some breakfast.”

Evie jolted with a start at the unexpected voice, throwing the blanket away from her buried head to see Solas standing at the foot of the bed, half dressed with a platter of what looked to be griddle cakes and fresh fruit.

Bewildered, she shuffled herself to sit up, tucking the blanket around her naked form.

“Solas! I–” she hated how surprised she sounded, and likely how surprised she looked. “I thought–, I assumed you’d already left!”

There was a briefest flash of pain on his face. Her surprise at him still being here was far from unwarranted, his track record had sadly, hardly been admirable. 

It made him want to do better.

She deserved better. 

“Ah, but how could I leave, and miss out on seeing you like this.” his voice an impish lilt, smirking as he cocked his head, “Or for that matter, how would I be able to bring you breakfast?”

He moved to his side of the bed, crawling back beside her as he placed the platter of food on her lap. Evie watched him intently as he settled himself comfortably beside her, his arms soon snaking around her in an embrace as he placed a gentle kiss at her temple.

Still somewhat bewildered, it was all she could do to absentmindedly pluck a berry off the plate in front of her, popping it in her mouth as she was lost in thought. 

If there was one thing she could say about Solas, it was that he was hardly lacking in surprises. 

Settling into his embrace, she wrapped a free arm around him in turn, lightly dragging her nails over his scalp as she continued to idly pick away at the fruit platter.

The way in which Solas leaned into her touch made her smile. It was a bit like she was petting a needy cat - or perhaps a dog - although, she mused, maybe owing to their equally hairless nature, a nug would be more apt? 

She giggled at the thought.

“Is something amusing, vhenan?” he mumbled, nuzzling into the crook of her neck. 

“No.” she turned herself further into his embrace, “No. I’m just happy.”

Solas hummed with approval into her skin as he began to pepper kisses along her neck and jaw. There was an unhurried, almost sleepy quality to the way he grazed his lips over her. His hands lazily trailing down her body, oblivious, or perhaps simply uncaring to the fact he almost knocked the food off the bed. 

“Solas.” she huffed in mild amusement as she moved the plate away just in time, placing it carefully on the small bedside table, “I take it you have no need of breakfast, then?”

“My heart.” he drawled between kisses, his grip pulling her body flush with his in a manner that let her know he perhaps had altogether very different things on his mind, “I have all I need right here.”

[exigencism]

@cyberpawn​ said: "Hey Johnny?" Their voice is gentle, deliberate as they tried to think through their words before speaking, not caring if Johnny would know their thoughts before they were said. "I'm sorry if I ever made you feel like a fuckin', uh, freak in our body. I know it's not fair 'cause this isn't your fault. This life is, uh, it's our's. And I want to make it a good one. I promise I won't make you feel like that ever again, choom."

When first waking up in Vale’s body, the fact it wasn’t his hadn’t crossed his mind. The realization hadn’t hit him, not until after making some semblance of amends at the diner. V was much shorter than him, both hands unlike his own. But he had never felt like a freak; always just out of reach, suspended sensations. At first as if the body didn’t want him, rejecting him, fighting against the machinery within the relic that forced Vale to transform into an empty vessel fit to contain a long-dead rockerboy that didn’t deserve it. The apologetic nature comes through before the words do, like seeing lights through a fog before making out it’s an oncoming car on the road. Johnny keeps his gaze away from them head turned with his knee bouncing. It all betrays the notion that he isn’t really there.

“Never did. Not like it’s your fault either . . .” he manages to respond a little all too melancholic. The situation was less than preem, a bit fucked up even, that Vale was no longer ever, truly, alone. But some part of Johnny felt as if they liked the company, and so did he. It was nice to be in the head of a petty merc rather than some fucking corpo drilling him for facts. What a selfish thought, he tells himself, to force someone out of their partial autonomy just to be a little less lonely. “I kind of like the sound of that, though,” comes after contemplative thought, nodding his head and still avoiding eye contact, as if he still has trouble confronting the fact himself. “Our body. Even if it was mostly yours to begin with, really . . . Sorry about that, V. But of all the heads I could’ve ended up in, I got hardly any complaints being in this one.” 

Then does he cheer up a bit, facing Vale with a bittersweet smile. There’s a feeling in his stomach, a little pit of apology; they're starting to blur a bit too much, the line between V and Johnny. He wants to say sorry. He wants to say I ain't got the right. Because, really, when does he ever? It was never his body to begin with, and yet now as he sits across from them in their shared psyche, he's never felt more at home with it. Vale is built of proportions that he's not supposed to fit in, and yet when he wakes in the morning and feels their thoughts stir, he always thinks to himself: man, I would never choose to get stuck with anybody else.

"You don't gotta apologize. For anything." A lesser man would say it was the desperation of being stuck in Mikoshi. A lesser man would tell Vale yeah, I'm freaked out being outside of my own body. But this was one of the rarer instances where Johnny was being genuine. He took his sunglasses, staring into their metaphysical reflections. He can't even remember what it's like to be in his body anymore... but he doesn't find that he misses it all too much. Maybe he should be freaked out by that ( but even then: being stuck with V, shared body and mind, didn't sound half bad at all ). "Thanks. For letting me stay."

It wasn't like V had much of a choice. But he could feel it, deep down; if they could, they'd let him stay forever. And that sounded pretty nice.

[geraltyen-of-corvobianco]

𝗬𝗲𝗮𝗿𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴 🥀

You could see the shadows of the branches of the linden tree swaying side to side on the ground, as if dancing uncertainly to the melancholic choir of the howling wind. The image was almost haunting, or morose, like the foreshadowing to the dreary end of a tragedy. The way the shadows danced before his eyes felt like it was a reminder of his life - no, their relationship - uncertain, tumultuous; as if doomed from the very beginning when he uttered his last wish.

Was the wish a blessing? Or was it a curse? Is he, a mutant, even capable of loving her? He is afraid. Afraid of proclaiming her as his. Afraid he did not have that right. Afraid that his love would only cause her pain. Afraid that he does not deserve her.

Because he is a mutant. Emotionless. Incapable of love. At least that was what he was supposed or taught to be.

And yet. He feels drawn to her every time. Yearning for her heart, her scent, her love, her everything. He resents the apprehensiveness brewing underneath the surface every time they got back together, an unconscious dread of the next parting of ways.

And now, they stood below a linden tree, their hearts seeking the other fervently, as if the strings of fate are pulling them back together once again.

He embraced her tightly, drinking in her presence, forcing himself to push past the dark thoughts and treasure the moment. He thought of a bright future ahead. An image of them debating over something silly, smiles on their faces. A picture of them staring blankly, albeit blissfully, alongside a warm fireplace on a cold winter night. Another one where they lay together under the stars, their hands intertwined. He felt her smile.

'I love you, Yen.' He thought, knowing she could hear his thoughts. Enjoying the little jump of his heart when she smiled a little wider, evidence that she heard it.

But yet that fear whispers menacingly in his heart, a constant reminder of the impending storms waiting to tear them apart once more. He buried his face into her hair, and started kissing her, expressing his love passionately again and again, in hopes of drowning away the uneasiness in his soul.

Their relationship is like the shadows of the branches of the linden tree, swaying uncertainly in the night.

Haunting and morose, as if foreshadowing a tragedy.

[abysskeeper]

Shoving my nonsense in my tag. If by chance someone does read it, please disregard the pretentiousness and like...7 stylistic changes. I'm working on something.

***

"I am not loved as something treasured."

He looked at her, both startled and confused by her statement and how readily, how easily she made it. "What do you mean by that, exactly?"

"I mean exactly as I said." She stared back at him and gave a weak shrug. "I am not loved as something treasured, I am loved as a giver. A protector. A beacon of Light and hope. And I...I am not ungrateful for that. I am not unhappy, it is exactly what I wanted, to be able to stand for something more. To be able to stand and shield those who need it most, who can't do it for themselves..."

She smiled as she stared down at her hands in her lap, watching as she flexed her fingers a few times. She let out a soft chuckle, "It is, perhaps, more literal now than I anticipated, but it is everything I wanted when I wished to become a Jedi." The amusement in her smile fell, slipping into something sadder, more nostalgic and beautifully melancholic. "It is more than I could have ever hoped for while growing up, and I hope it ensures several like me now have more than I ever did while growing up."

She fell silent after that statement though, her smile slipping away entirely. He watched her quietly as she folded in on herself a little, her shoulders slumping while she wrung her hands. A shadow of doubt flickered across her eyes, and she glanced away with a sigh. "It is enough," she whispered.

"And yet you do not seem content," he noted softly. He slowly walked over and eased himself down until he was sitting next to her, silently awaiting her response.

"I am content," she insisted, quickly whipping back to face him. He didn’t respond immediately. Instead, the longer he watched her, the more her earnestness wilted under his gentle scrutiny. She was not lying, but there was much she was not admitting to that rested in the sad stillness of her eyes, until the guilt finally took over and she turned away from him again.

"And yet...I am a greedy creature. A selfish creature, desiring more than I ever deserved." She sighed and leaned back on her arms, tilting her head up to gaze at the clear night sky. "Sometimes I yearn for more...to be loved as something treasured..." she paused and motioned towards the sky, "To be loved as the darkness of night loves the light of stars. It's been a pleasant dream of mine for a long time, but a far-off one. One I knew was unachievable, but I enjoyed indulging regardless. Only now has it begun to leave me aching, and I hate that it has."

There was much he could reply to, much he could say in response to this asinine notion she wasn't lovable, but he found himself drawn to the last part of her statement. "Only now?" he echoed in question, unabashedly curious over what had changed.

He had his suspicions, but what made a dream such as that change from being a comfort to being a pain?

She didn't answer. Instead, he saw the corners of her lips twitch up in the ghost of a smile and the faintest hint of brown dusting over her cheeks. "Only now," she agreed faintly, her eyes drawn to roving over the very stars she spoke of.

When it was apparent she was not going to further elucidate what she meant, he chose to switch tactics, focusing instead on everything else she said. She often accused him of hiding behind pretty words and vague meanings--an accusation he hardly denied--but she also always understood him regardless of how well he tried to veil his intentions. In large part, he had come to accept that was due to her having an understanding of him that few others in the galaxy could claim--she had earned that right with the time she spent insisting on learning about him. But it was also, in part, due to her propensity towards the exact same disposition.

"Alright, then how is it, do you suppose, that the night loves the stars?" he asked.

She shifted her weight on her arms as she contemplated for a moment. Finally, her attention returned to him, her head tilting his way as her gaze languidly traveled over him, cataloging every detail she could see in the dark. "As the stars love the night, of course," she answered, her eyes snapping up to meet his, "Wholly, and without request."

A beat passed, and then another as she held his gaze. The seconds were stretching, spreading into uncharted territory, he was distinctly aware of it with every heartbeat in his chest, but he refused to be the one to break the budding moment. Finally, her green eyes dipped from his and looked at the ground. After another moment, she fell back, sprawling out on the grass and settling to stare up at the vast, dark sky and all its stars.

"As you know, stars are always present, but only shine at night," she continued. He sat back, watching her as she pointedly kept her stare fixated on the heavens above them. "A show just for the darkness, the one and only light the night needs from its one, constant companion--for even the moons go through phases. But the stars...the stars always accompany their beloved night."

Her hand rose, finger pointed towards the sky and tracing invisible lines connecting the pinpoints of light. "As for the night, well..." she trailed off with a chuckle. "We always see the starlight at night. We are the ones who give it meaning, both practical and metaphorical, and yet we can only ever glimpse the front of a star. The night sees all of the star, every aspect of it. It cradles and caresses the light in its inky dark hand and asks for nothing in return."

She sighed, her hand dropping back down over her chest. "The night gives them a space to shine, and asks nothing but for the stars to just be."

She fell silent, and he turned his attention from looking up at the sky over towards her face. A wry smile hung on her lips, and some of the nostalgic sadness still twinkled in her eyes as she gazed ever upwards. He was at a loss for words, uncertain of where her thoughts were or what he could say to ease the bittersweetness that seemed to loom over her. He was uncertain if he should even say anything at all.

"It's a foolish notion, I know," she said after a moment. A quiet, self-depreciating chuckle escaped past her lips. "It's the sentimentality of a girl staring up in wonder at the night sky with her mother. But then..."

Her voice trailed off to nothing, the wry smile pulling into a frown. Her hand rose again, though instead of connecting the stars, it twisted and turned as she examined it against the backdrop of the night. "But then...her mother was gone...and then the stars themselves were gone when the girl went to Nar Shaddaa...and the only way she could think to ease the sadness around her was to retell the story of love between the night sky and the stars, perhaps the oldest love story there is, and the only one repeated over and over."

"I hardly believe that to be a foolish notion," he refuted. She had spoken enough of her history for him to understand what she meant between the spaces of what she said. "If anything, it is one full of hope as much as it is one full of love."

Her hand stilled in the air, fingers outstretched as she stared at them. Or, more likely, as she stared silently between them. He was more than content to wait for her to gather her thoughts. "As I said, the story has been with me for a long time," she said at last, "It is a sentiment full of hope, as much as it is full of love."

Slowly, her fingers relaxed and her hand descended back down until it rested flat against her chest, over her heart. Her eyes fell shut as well and she grimaced in something that was almost like pain. Almost. "I never intended it to be a sentiment full of longing," she admitted on a near silent breath.

She drew a breath through her nose and she turned her head to face him again. Her eyes opened, and her small, wry smile returned. "I suppose that's the tragedy of growing older, I began to understand the complexity of finding such a complimentary love. I began to understand just how special a love like that could be." Her eyes flickered back towards the sky, and she let out a heavy breath. "And I had to accept just how out of reach both the stars and the night truly were."

He blinked, and his attention flickered back to the sky. "Just how out of reach do you believe them to be?"

She let out a soft sigh, as if frustrated. "I'm no fool, I know there's light-years between what we see and where they actually are."

Silence fell between them, and it left him feeling unsettled. He shifted his weight and glanced back over to where she laid, her eyes glittering up at the stars. It was only when she blinked several times and the effect disappeared that he understood he was seeing the reflection of a few, unshed tears. That only left him more unsettled.

"Trick?" The sound of her name coming from his lips was the only thing to cut through the silence churning between them.

"Hm?" she mumbled, obviously distracted.

"May I ask you something?"

She stilled, so much so that even the quiet sounds of her breathing ceased. Her wariness was palpable, and he could not find fault with that. There were a number of things he could ask, there were a number of things he wished to ask that would cross the carefully constructed boundary they danced around. It was a boundary he yearned to break, if only because he knew it was already bending dangerously far with the increasing weight of all the words, all the glances and touches...all the moments they shared with one another.

Now more than ever it would be so simple to let it snap, to tell her those stars were in reach and incredibly close at that, and he knew it because of her. She was the one who made him believe in the closeness of those stars, and he would pluck them all and press them into the palms of her hands if she so desired. He would grant her every last one and then hold her as the night sky cradled its own stars.

"Sure?"

Her voice was breathy and a note too high, though he was surprised her stutter did not make an appearance. Still, he granted her a reprieve and chose the easier option. Other chances would come for him. "Is this why you enjoy stargazing as much as you do?" he asked.

There was a short pause before her surprised laughter rang out around them. Despite the lingering ache he felt in letting that opportunity slip through his fingers, he could not regret the decision. Instead, he smiled at her, fully aware her laughter was its own reward. For tonight, that was more than enough.

"Sure. We'll go with that," she agreed.

Another couple of giggles bubbled up past her lips before she settled and the silence returned between them. It was far more companionable this time, and he was content to let it linger between them when he saw her earlier tears were replaced now by the small smile she wore. If that was the only thing he was capable of changing tonight, then it was worth it, and he settled into the silence with ease, intent to remain for as long as she needed out here.

It was a while before another, small sigh escaped her. "Tavon?"

"Hm?"

He looked over to find her sitting up and then getting to her feet. Once she brushed some dirt off the skirt of her robe, she proffered a hand towards him. He gladly slipped his hand into hers and let her assist him--albeit unnecessarily--up on his own two feet. Yet, once standing, he did not release his grip on her hand.

"Thank you for indulging me tonight." The smile she flashed him was one of the sweetest things he had ever received. "I needed this, I think," she added, "W-with...with you, especially."

A blush swept across her cheeks, darker than before, and her gaze pulled towards the side. "Talking with you always clears my head," she admitted quietly, "And...m-most nights it makes those st-stars feel a little closer."

A warm sensation flared in his chest, and he didn't bother to even attempt to smother the smile it caused. His hand itched to move, to thread his fingers through hers and tug until he pulled her into himself and held her as close as she desired. Instead, he simply gave her hand a gentle squeeze.

"The pleasure is mine, Trick." His voice was soft, but he hoped it conveyed just how fully he meant it. "Anytime."

[aajjks]

TC!JK “Well do you like my chamber? You know that’s my mother’s portrait..”

“Yeah it looks really cozy and pleasing to the eyes.” she turned around to look at the portrait and it's equally beautiful.

Whoever painted it did a great job.

“She was the most beautiful woman in the whole world.”

She can tell that he's sad. The image of little Jungkook crying in the forest is still fresh in her mind. He must have loved her so much and it shows.

She sits beside him and runs her hand down his back. A silent gesture of comforting him.

“I remember always thinking how beautiful she was whenever she'd come to the shop. You look so much like her. I know you must miss her a lot and losing her was devastating for you but at least we know that wherever she is, it's a great place and she's happy there.” she looks at him and he has stopped eating.

A melancholic look on his face and it hurts her to see him like that so she does what sde did back then, she wraps her arms around him. It reminds her of that time she did it in the forest.

“It's alright, Kook. You have the right to feel sad and I'm here to comfort you.”

He looks at her from that position and she smiles at him. She breaks the hug once he returns it.

“You want some? Eat up yn.”

“What will you eat then? You need to eat lots.”

He wasn't one to listen and Yn ended up eating with him.

Who was she to say no to his big eyes?

Once they're done she calls the maids to get the dishes.

Jungkook has to go now sadly.

“See you in the evening, Kook. Take care.” she says to him as he leaves.

“it’s my birthday today and I would appreciate it if I could get some cake you know I just know you’re good at baking.. or preparing sweets?”

Jungkook looks back to his shoulder, where you’re standing, and he smiles you have made him so happy in the past day or so that he doesn’t feel as depressed as he did

He wants to celebrate his birthday maybe with you and maybe that you are here

“Yn please don’t work too hard. OK I will see you tonight after I’m done with my training if you want there’s no pressure take some rest. You deserve it.” that’s all he says before he’s leaving for his training.

He’s walking down to the training ground. He notices some guards coming towards him.

“Y-Your Majesty you have been summoned by the king.”

[twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat]

hi ^^ mer!sugu-centric!polycule anon here (this feels genuinely like a code i’m crying… uhm what about 🐟 anon?? if it isn’t taken, ofc!) just dropping to say thank you for liking my silly idea and answering! <33 i was getting a little worried with my previous anon because for a whole day i even thought ‘oh……….. what if i didn’t press ask? and i didn’t send it?’ which is very funny because it had happened in the past (yes…….. i’m dumb like the fish emoji 🐟🐟 no thoughts behind the eyes, just gloo gloo gloo)

SO !! I WAS SO HAPPY WHEN I READ YOUR ANSWER AND THAT YOU APPRECIATED MY IDEA TTTTTTTT AAAAA it made me so happy! thank you sm for your kind words :,))) i thought to drop by to thank you only, but your answer just made my brain go crazy with new ideas!! you said that i could basically rant about it, so i’m really sorry, but i’m gonna accept the offer!! 🙏🏼

I COULD SEE THIS SOOO VIVIDLY satoru gets slapped w sugu’s tail and he scowls at reader all offended bc he takes his pearls VERY seriously…. silly little fish man. AND WAHHH THE SLOWBURN OF IT ALL….. sugu realizing he appreciates their company 🥺🥺🥺

THE TAIL SLAP 😭😭😭 i giggled at that because suguru totally WOULD! i also imagine that when geto is a little annoyed by the silly fights between reader and gojo, he would use his tail to splash water at them with a sassy face because “………are you two done now?” 🤨 and oh the slowburn :,,) it’s one of my favorite tropes ever so it’s almost in any fic idea of mine, but i genuinely feel it would hit differently here because when i think about it, this story is like patiently building a sand castle to me. where each character has an unique role and in this case you see their dynamic shifts from something funny/a feeble desire guided by superficial liking to a deeper understanding, accepting each other’s differences, building a safe and respectful bond for each other. i believe that when you pair slowburn with characters with unique traits (in this case mer!sugu), it becomes something much more tender and captivating! 🥺🥺🥺

anon r u perhaps a writer….

this deserves a whole point for itself because HELP?!2$:!/&:$:@/ WHAT GAVE IT AWAY??? TTTT i’ve only written a piece for bungou stray dogs on ao3 so far but that’s really it! so i don’t consider myself a writer :,) ……. aside that, i’m pretty much new to read/write about jujutsu kaisen lolololol ANYWAY—

mer!sugu getting melancholic at the passage of time :((( tying it to his underwater existence is soooo clever too !!! it feels like he associates gojo and reader w the sun …. warmth …… and i think that shifts so easily into love

genuinely crying :(((( i like your thought! because it makes more sense that he would associate both of them with something warm like the sun, and it ties better with the whole depiction of mermaids sunbathing on rocks imo!! in my mind it was the same thing but with the sky itself. it’s a bit difficult to explain so i’ll try to do my best! when i was writing the first anon i thought about mer!sugu seeing the night sky in gojo and the morning one in reader. i guess it’s because the sky imo is what best we have closer to a window. one that links our world while giving us a glimpse of what was happening beyond, a glance in the past in short (hence the universe, because the more the stars are far away from us, the more its light is older) while also giving us two very different performances.

so now that i’ve clarified this thought of mine, how does it apply to this situation? i think that to mer!sugu gojo is the night sky because night it’s the only moment we can see the sky at its rawest point. and to mer!geto, gojo is nothing more than a bundle of honest and raw emotions— because he is able to break through the surface (no pun intended! but….. eheh…….more points to me bc suguru lives underwater, far away from the surface where everything is shiny and clear so he knows there’s much more to gojo that he probably doesn’t show), which is pretty similar to canon!stsg. gojo it’s a window without a shutter, unapologetically shining and not hiding anything from suguru’s stare, the only one who seems to pinpoint and name each constellation that thrives in gojo’s persona.

meanwhile reader is the shutter of the window. the morning sky, the filter that covers the stars from prying eyes with soft and gentle shows with the complicity of the clouds. but not because they hide something, but because they’re shining too, so so bright that it’s nice. it’s warm, it tickles the skin covered in sea salt and reaches all the way to the water to help the marine environment thrive. again, mermaids are always depicted sunbathing— so purposefully seeking the sunlight, the same way mer!geto would actively seek for reader. a soft soul that tend to every little thing in our planet but holds power, attracts and is needed to prosper. also i think it works perfectly in this case because both the sun and the moon have an influences over the tides :,,) so the three of them actually influence each other in a very specific manner the same way gojo, reader and geto influence each other! it’s a respectful and balanced relationship where they have to always work together.

god……….. that was embarrassing………… i yapped too much, sorry. just the last thing and i promise i’m done!! for real!! 😭😭

okay but i do imagine that merfolk have really specific courting processes AND that they’re possessive by nature so i’m just imagining that in this au… 😵‍💫😵‍💫 […] …..giving them both his scales to wear as some kind of jewelry to signal to the other merfolk that these humans are his…. i usually don’t like the idea of sugu being overly possessive but i think it works well w the merman au :33

YOUR MIND‼️ like, seriously!! giggling because i always liked the implication that suguru was a little shit like gojo in canon, though in different fonts (which i tried to incorporate in the way he intentionally doesn’t tell gojo&reader that he has accepted their courting to enjoy the show a little more). SO!! maybe it could be used again when he gives them the scales to ‘mark his territory’ 🤨🤨………… maybe reader and gojo appreciating the gift but being utterly clueless at the same time, so they meet one night and try to brainstorm the meaning behind it since suguru won’t tell them! just to reach the definitive conclusion when they see mer!sugu splash water to a stranger that was asking them the directions to go somewhere…………………. idk, my brain is fried now sorry TT

AAAAAAAAA i’m sorry :(( i yapped too much about it but i’m really growing fond of this au. again, really thank you for answering my first anon <33333333 hope you have a wonderful day/night mwah!!!!

🐟 ANONNNN WELCOME TO THE FAMILY did u know the fish emoji is one of my favs ……

first of all U R SOOO SO WELCOME PLS….. tysm again for dropping the concept into my inbox bc it rlly did make me insane 😭😭 second of all i’m sorry for taking so long to answer this it got kinda lost in my drafts :’3 IT WAS A PLEASURE TO READ THOUGH never apologize for yapping!!! we r all yappers here <3333 aaaa i’m so happy u liked my response to ur ask too!!!! sugu’s tail slaps make me laugh sm… i feel like he would do it alllll the time and it would get so annoying….. he’s a little bit of a brat <33 AND HIM SPLASHING WATER AT THEM IS ALSO SO GOOD he’s so funny….. permanently making this 😐 face while they bicker and banter

AND I SOOOO AGREE ABT THE SLOWBURN it’s one of my fave tropes ever and i’m also so weak for the tenderness of it all T—T aaaa the sandcastle metaphor is so good too ….. themed to the sea and all!!!! they’re building a little sandcastle together and making sure it doesn’t get knocked down by the harsher waves :’3 (both figuratively AND literally bc i do think reader and toru would love making sandcastles…. sugu joins them and accidentally knocks it down psvdkdjdj)…..

this deserves a whole point for itself because HELP?!2$:!/&:$:@/ WHAT GAVE IT AWAY??? TTTT i’ve only written a piece for bungou stray dogs on ao3 so far but that’s really it! so i don’t consider myself a writer :,) ……. aside that, i’m pretty much new to read/write about jujutsu kaisen lolololol ANYWAY—

HEHEHEH I KNEW ITTTT >:3 u just have such a way with words!!! would love lovelove to read some jjk fics from u one day <333 AND OOOOH BSD what character did u write for 🐟 anon…. 👀 extremely important!!

BUT WAHHHHHHH the whole thing abt the night sky and the morning sky….. the window and the shutter……. PLS don’t apologize my beloved anon bc u literally gave me a fullcourse meal for free?? i’m a little stunned bc u just put it so, so well and beautifully 🥺

gojo is a window without a shutter, unapologetically shining and not hiding anything from suguru’s stare, the only one who seems to pinpoint and name each constellation that thrives in gojo’s persona. meanwhile reader is the shutter of the window. the morning sky, the filter that covers the stars from prying eyes with soft and gentle shows with the complicity of the clouds. but not because they hide something, but because they’re shining too, so so bright that it’s nice. it’s warm, it tickles the skin covered in sea salt and reaches all the way to the water to help the marine environment thrive.

LIKE ?????? goshhhh i know i literally just said it but u have SUCH a way with words 🐟 anon…… ur writing is so pretty i’m so in awe . this is such a gorgeous dynamic aaaa i also love how they all influence each other like u said !!! they all move the tides !!!!! :> that’s so lovely.

ANDDD i’m so glad u like the idea of possessive little mer!sugu :33 i just think he’s sooooo cute. i ABSOLUTELY agree that he’s a little shit btw… has fun watching toru and reader being all clueless and oblivious but then some stranger tries flirting w them and he has no choice but to bare his sharp teeth a little and then they figure it out 😞😞 hehe i just think the idea of suguru latching onto them and seeing them as his humans is so sweet.

TYSM FOR THE FOOD STSG 🐟 ANON i love hearing ur thoughts sm !!!!! again i’m sorry it took a bit for me to get to this T_T but i enjoyed reading it sm AND i absolutely adore ur take on a mer!sugu au… they’re the cutest <3333 i am sending many kisses and a big can of fish food just for u !!!!

[aprylynn]

LET’S DO THIS

You got to go sightseeing in the snow-capped mountains with everyone, snuck a peek of Tae’s little moment with Jimin in the hot springs, visited a quaint village with pretty shops, and even sat around a fire pit after grilling food.

VMIN CRUMBS

Don’t make it worse. Don’t do it. 

But the dinner, the dinner, the dinner. You didn’t ask about it, but Yoongi still could’ve said something about it right he could’ve texted well okay this really shouldn’t be that big of a deal anyway maybe it’s nothing but fuck you’re still mad wait you’re saying something,

“Have fun sightseeing.”

I love their thought process here from knowing it’s the right thing to do to say nothing to talking themselves out of it to saying the least helpful thing ever

“I asked what’s wrong. Now you’re just scaring me. Do I need to fly my ass over there?”

I can’t say this enough. Dom is the best 💗

“For the love of— Finish whatever the fuck you’re stuffing your face with, and text him back.”

She is literally the best?! No one is better than her!!!

“So make up with my future brother in law and I’ll see you when—”

“What?”

“—get back. And y’all use protection, right? Cus I don’t wanna be an auntie just ye—”

“Dom!” You are so whooping her know-it-all ass when you get back. She doesn’t get to give you butterflies after making you cry! 

“What? I need to be stupid rich first.”

“I’m hanging up on you now goodbye.”

There’s a fizzy cackle on the other line, and you can’t help but break into a grin when she bids farewell.

“Love you!”

You wipe a trail from your cheek before moving your phone up to your mouth. Because you wanna cradle it close while saying bye for real, 

“Love you, too.”

This entire thing right here!!! This is so stinking cute and funny and sweet and I swear I am just as soft for reader and their friends as I am for them and Yoongi 😭😭😭

How can someone manage to break down your defenses in five words? How can someone make a day full of missteps and wasted time feel like it wasn’t a waste at all?

BECAUSE HE’S PERFECT!!!!!

Yoongi scrunches his face in what you assume is embarrassment. Adorable. “I wanted it to be a surprise,” he says through a regretful smirk. “Guess I should’ve just fessed up.”

THIS IS THE CUTEST SHIT EVER

“It’s happened before. Around this same time, actually.” 

Eyes burning, Yoongi seethes. “Who the fuck?”

I love this about Yoongi. He is so baffled and furious that anyone wouldn’t see the value in reader and not treat them the way they deserve. Even in the first 3tan he’s like this. He is so perfect 💜💜💜

“I’ll just take you here myself.” 

His look of confidence has you averting your gaze in an instant. 

“Just us.”

CAN YOU IMAGINE ACTUALLY I CAN I WILL THINK OF NOTHING BUT THIS FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE

Unbuttoning one of his cuffs, Yoongi simply stands over you while explaining, 

“You’re gonna show me first.”

NOT UNBUTTONING HIS CUFF THERE IS NOTHING HOTTER THAN THIS

Yoongi chuckles, and you can’t help but shudder at his low scratchy tone. 

“You mad?”

“Yes.” 

“Good. Stay that way.”

WHAT A FUCKING MENACE

Your chin is grabbed. “I’m watching, baby girl,” he whispers, making your head spin with how soft he suddenly became. With a passing thought, you just realized that he hadn’t even been using names until then. “Don’t worry.”

How is he so soft and considerate in the middle of all this madness????? OMG I LOVE IT

“Are you taking a shit?”

I’m sorry this made me laugh so hard. Siblings are such jerks and I love it 😂😂😂

Gotta hand it to your brother to be there if you need him. “That’s… really nice of you. Is this why you didn’t go with them?” 

He rubs his neck, a gesture you’ve been very familiar with for years. One he always does when he’s afraid to admit something. “Kinda. It’s due in the morning, but. I knew you weren’t doing anything, either.”

“Ah.” 

“I mean, this trip is cool and all, but holidays aren’t really…” 

“Our thing. Yeah.” 

As he mirrors your melancholic features, he gives a closed smile with no cheer.

I love love love this. I love glimpses into their life together and who they are as people. I have so many questions about why the holidays aren’t their thing. I know reader gave Yoongi one reason why but why is it that way for bro too??? I neeeeeeed to knoooooooooow

And it’s how you can be anywhere in the world, in any situation, and yet feel so at home if he’s there. “Just for you,” you whisper, suddenly overcome with something more than yourself.

How to say I love you without saying I love you 😭😭😭

“Oh, my god,” you whisper before covering your wild smile with both hands, one laugh escaping your throat. 

Yoongi has to bury his head into your chest to stifle his own, and his body shakes over yours so deliciously that you feel like staying in this position forever.  

You almost cry from your muffled laughter, but it’s Yoongi that makes the next sound. 

And it is not quiet. 

“Baby,” you warn through your grin, and he digs his face deep into your neck while holding you close.

“Stop being so fucking cute,” he groans into your ear. “I might not make it, doll.”

STOP IT STOP IT STOP IT THIS IS WAY TOO PERFECT!!! I could not stop smiling through this whole thing. Every time when bro almost catches them is just pure gold. And them laughing and Yoongi almost losing it because of all this is just the best!!!

But your vision slowly returns, with blurred lines and an image of the most beautiful man you’ve ever seen. 

No. Not an image. 

Someone very real, and someone looking at you like they want nothing else. 

“Baby,” you plead, feeling the lust and desire and something even more dangerous rise back to the surface. Because you want more. You need more. “I want… I want—” 

He kisses you deep, and you grip onto his chains. “What do you want, love.” 

“You. Fuck me. Teach me. Do what you want, just”—you pull him in—“I need this—”

*drags hands down face* this is sooooooo perfect!!! And the love! Him calling them love!!!!

Praise, reassurance, more praise. All of these things fall on your features and into your ears, and you hold onto him as if he’s your last lifeline. 

“God, I can’t wait to feel all of you.”

Ryen I swear……..

But he moans against your mouth before you feel his weight bear down on your chest, and you gently command into his damp strands, 

“Come for me, love.”

NOT READER WITH THE LOVE THIS TIME OH NOOOOOOOOOO

Instead, he tells you that he knew your brother didn’t do holidays, but he didn’t know you felt the same way about them, too.

You say it’s one of the things you have most in common, but you do kinda want things to be different. Happier. Very much unlike how you felt over the last eight years or so.

How do you do this, Ryen??? I care about every detail of every character of this whole story and I want to know everything. Literally everything. 

He just took off a chain.

“Wait, what are you…” Butterflies fluttering against your ribcage, your breath catches when he drops it into your hand. 

“Keep it.” 

Feeling his warmth lingering on the thin links, you question with everything you have, “…Why?” 

Yoongi simply shrugs. “Just something I wanted to give you a long time ago.” 

“But you already gave me that necklace,” you stutter out, “And apparently went through all that trouble.” 

“Trust me,” he counters, pointing while still planting his hand on the mattress. “You gave me a lot more trouble right before I put that on you the first time.” 

Oh.

NOT THE CHAIN HE IS NOT GIVING HER THE SAME CHAIN HE PUT ON HER LAST TIME HE DID NOT JUST DO THAT 

He kisses your cheek before whispering, “Thanks, doll.” 

“You’re welcome.” 

“I used to have one like this.” 

“What happened to it?” 

He lays it on his fingers while recalling, voice low, “Think it got stolen. But it’s all good.” 

“If someone steals that one I’m coming for them.” 

A huff. “I wanna see that.”

CUTEST. SHIT. EVER.

“Look! Now we match.” 

He looks at you with eyes that give you the shivers, his expression one that you wanna sear into your memories forever.

OMG JUST GET MARRIED

And to think this is the same guy you had heard stories about back then. Behavior as lethal and punchy as a shot of whiskey but his head matured like fine wine.

This is perfect, Ryen. Comparing him to whisky and wine and how those stories are true and how he belongs to them now 😭😭😭

All the medics. You’re just gonna need all of them.

The medics!!! This was sooooo funny!

When you both leave the aisle first, you miss the look that Jin shares with Namjoon.

They are so not fooling anyone. I mean does bro actually know at this point because it seems like everyone is suspicious!!!

Your brother’s yell is already worth it.

I love love love this. I love that Yoongi making reader’s holiday a little happier made them want to do the same for bro. 

It tastes like nothing you’ve ever drank before. Why are you tasting rubbing alcohol and firewood? Why are you licking a dying campfire with fruit splattered on top?

I had some Octomore after reading this and you know what??? Your description is pretty spot on but unlike reader I actually like it. I like scotch that tastes like you’re drinking a campfire!!! It’s definitely an acquired taste. 

When he looks grateful, you think this can be the new tradition instead: him getting a shitty whiskey and you telling him how horrible his taste is. 

And maybe. Just maybe.

You and Yoongi can stand much closer next season.

OMG PLEASE LET THAT HAPPEN. For reader and Yoongi and for bro too. Let everyone have happier holidays next year 😭😭😭

“Jimin and I came back when your brother left. You thought he left you in the house alone?”

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA OMG NOOOOOOOOOOOOO THIS WAS THE PERFECT ENDING 

Ryen, you literally never miss??!!! This was 1000% worth the wait and I’m so grateful that you continue to share these characters with us. Even with chapters like this that aren’t necessarily part of canon yet… everything is so spot on and well thought out, and so heartfelt and has so much weight and depth and love. You are amazing. You are the best. This is incredible. You are incredible. 

ALSO THAT SPOILER FOR 3TAN10!!!! That’s gonna be so amazing. I can’t wait!!!

the window (3tan) (m) | myg

title:the window (m)   pairing: 3tan!yoongi x reader(f)   series:masterlist | three tangerines | fireworks | house party | basketball | stay | sidewalk talk | friends | dalo | like that | anytime | sundress season | yoongi’s interlude | forfeit | flutter rating/genre: m (18+) ; angst , fluff , smut ; brother’s best friend au, implied age gap au   summary: you get to spend the holidays in a lavish private lodge with your brother and all his friends. but you’re just really fucking sad tonight… and maybe a bit mad, too. note: so in order to not fall more behind than i already am, i went ahead and combined both holiday specials into one🥃this one came about due to window anon’s reminder about yoongi’s window threat, and everyone that proceeded to cause outright chaos all day after that. so if you want someone to yell at for this, yell at them!!! note 2: this is a holiday special! therefore where it fits/if it fits in future canon is not disclosed. so this can be enjoyed as a one-shot, but i still highly recommend reading all the three tangerines series if you haven’t yet<3 it’ll make things make a lot more sense.  warnings: strong language, alcohol, this yoongi requires his own warning tbh, chains making a comeback who is shocked!!!, or*l (m rec), manhandling, hitting it from the back a ha ha, angst :(((, masturb*tion, exhibiti*nism, omg we’re kinda pissed y’all😳, ….c*ckwarming, rough s*x, slow motion l o l, missi*nary, protected s*x, cmnf (clothed male), pain kink :)), kissing haha, !!!angry!!!s*x!!!!, c*wgirl, light d*m/sub dynamics, tense scenes, bro appearance, body worship, yoongi is deliciously aggravating, but so is brat!reader<333, ch*king (m/f rec), head/hair pulling (m/f), multiple org*sms, yoongi’s fit is basically 2022 grammys have funn🥴, cute af aftercare<3 drop date: january 10th, 2023, 7:17pm est word count: 15.3k bc i can’t stfu !! 

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