#margaret shaw x y/n

[madwomansapologist]

guys I am so proud of this one 🥺

Queen Maeve: fake dating

Masterlist | Taglist | Personal blog | More Queen Maeve | AO3

Ꮚ requests are open

synopsis: When the new member of The Seven and Queen Maeve made fans hearts go crazy, Vought decide that is was the perfect moment to a little fake relashionship. A saphicc couple would grant then so many points with the youngs and queers! They only didn't know that Queen Maeve had feelings for you. You also didn't know that.

notes: I did something different this time, hope y'all like it

warnings: female!reader. Vought deserve its own warning.

• You pinched yourself all the way to your first public appearance as a member of The Seven. That must be a dream! It happened before. While trying to sleep, at the shower, going to your mundane work: you imagine yourself on that position. But your pinches didn't wake you up. Fucking god, you are part of The Seven!

• Ashley helped you on the entrance surrounded by journalists and civillians. They were there... for you? They screamed your name, asked for pictures, thank you for all you did for them. You dreamed about a moment like this, but now it is true. It seens like you will need time to understand that.

• When you finally made it into the building, Ashley accompanied you while talking about how high your numbers with young women were and how your "new girl in town" energy made you popular with both men and women. What does that even mean? She grumbled that your name could have been better, Ice Princess was so basic, but at least it worked with kids. Your mind wasn't capable of holding all the information she told you, but you knew that when the lights went on you need enter the stage with Madelyn fucking Stillwell.

• It was different then the day Starlight was announced. Many women were on the stage talking about how the world need more women on important positions. Girl power! No one pronounced the name, but they were talking about The Deep. He was replaced after the horrible things he did to Starlight. Replace by you. Thats the reason why no other member of The Seven were there: Vought didn't want to appear like that story would happen again.

• Your first meeting with the team was... like being on heaven. Your heroes were right in front of you. Noir was just like you imagined: a mistery that would never be solved. A-Train sounded so mature, so knowing of the weight on his shoulders. Translucent weren't there, he was in a important secret mission. Homelander was some kind of Jesus. But not everything was perfect.

• Starlight seem... kinda sad. Almost melancholic. Maybe she wasn't on a great day. Maybe she didn't like you. That scared you, but you could be wrong. But there were her. Queen Maeve. They all were heroes, but she was your hero. The women you look up to. Your inspiration. And if Starlight seem uncomfortable, she seem enraged.

• Your tried to lie to yourself. To pretend that it was just your mind tricking you into thinking that everyone hates you. It would've worked if all the other heroes didn't seem to like you. And the possibility of you being just confused was ruined when you had to use the bathroom.

You faced Starlight when you walked out of the bathroom cabin. She was in front of the mirror arranging her gold hair, that wasn't even messy, and made eye contact with you. A odd taste rule your mouth, but you tried to mask your discomfort with a smile. She didn't smiled back.

Washing your hands, you felt her gaze. You dried them, trying not to look like you were about to run out of there (because you were), but her words stopped you. "Its your first day here", pointed Starlight. She sighed, now facing you. "I won't be able to sleep without telling you what I wish someone had told me when I was on your position."

Your smile was so big it hurt your cheeks. You were wrong. Starlight don't hate you. She was just worried. "You wanna give me advice?"

"Yes. I do", Starlight stopped herself. It was like she wasn't sure how to proceed. "You know that image you have about The Seven? Forget it. It was all made by the marketing team. Don't trust them. Don't you ever make the mistake of trust them."

And as quickly as it came, your smile faded away. "W-What are talking about?" You didn't notice your hands shaking. "Is it a hoax?"

"You seem like a good person." Starlight passed by you, walking towards the door. "I hope you don't make the same mistakes I did. But, if you do, I'm here."

And she left you alone with your thoughts. You gazed the door, waiting for her to come back and joke about how scary you look. But the only thing that you saw was the last bathroom cabin door opening.

Queen Maeve walked toward the sink, glaring at you with a look that you couldn't understand. It was like a parody of an affectionate look. Something that should be seem as friendly. She licked her rosy lips, washing her hands beside you.

"I wouldn't have warned you. But now that she did, guess its my turn to give you some advice." Queen Maeve stopped right in front of you. You looked up to be able to see her face. "Do not disturb me, princess."

• You quickly understood what Annie meant. It was all about money. They sold themselfs. Their bodies, their morals. It made you feel deceived. At least Annie was nice. She helped you. Annie said she was only doing what she wish someone had done for her, but a friendship between you both grown. If you only could said the same about Queen Maeve.

• Part of you feel betrayed. She was your hero. The reason for you to fight. All those times you felt like giving up you think to yourself that Queen Maeve would never gave up. But then all she does is discuss about copyright. The other part feel wronged. She is a woman after all. Shouldn't her be with you both? You can't stop to think about when Annie vented about what that asshole did to her. Maeve knew who he really was. Apparently everyone knew. She could've have done something. She could've have warned her. She could've have protect her. She could at least have supported her.

• Its like everyone say: never meet your heroes.

Ashley said that being on a pair with Queen Maeve would bring you both so many audience points. You didn't want to be around Maeve, but you learned with Starlight mistakes: you accept what Vought give to you. You just didn't imagine that a ambush would last so longer.

Hidden inside a car, all you had to distract yourself was your powers. You made your fingertips freeze against the window, forming little drawings. You form some flowers, then cleaned with your arm so you could drawn more.

"Can't you just focous?" grumbled Maeve. Being around her wasn't comfortable, but at least you both seem to agree that silence was the better option. But when Maeve have a mean coment to make, she will.

"Am I disturbing you?" Your fingers were frozing, and yet your eyes burned her skin. You took down the binoculars on your lap.

"Someone is sensitive today", Maeve rolled her eyes. She checked the license plate she was looking for, just to make sure. "I'm just saying you should pay attention. You need those audience points."

"I'm paying attention. You can't do two things at the same time?"

Maeve didn't answer you. She smiled, what was as difficult to understand as her eyes. "You really do hate me, huh? C'mon, princess, show me your claws."

"I don't hate you." You really were sincere about it. "I just don't respect you. You are a empty doll the markenting create. Eveything you are is a meaningless product. I definitely don't hate you."

"That was supossed to hurt me?" Thats it. Now you get. The problem was on Maeve's eyes. Don't matter how sincere or careful the rest of her face look, those blue eyes always seem to be making fun of whoever she is looking at. They always seem to be mocking you. "You look at me like you hate me. Stop that. Or we won't be able to sell that we are good friends."

"Don't worry, I discovered that I am a great actress." You smiled back. You spend more time recording for Vought than fighting. Even that ambosh can't be considering saving someone. The car you both are using is from a sponsor. Your knew uniform will be anounced today during the recordings the hidden cameras are making. Your tights are almost completely visible. You aren't a hero anymore. "And I don't look at you with hate. It is fear."

"Fear?" Maeve's eyes seem to glow. "Of all people, I am the one that you are affraid of? I thought you were clever."

"I'm affraid of ending up like you."

For the rest of the night Maeve didn't opened her mouth again.

• It seem to be the year Maeve would have to deal with hopeful freshers. Starlight was already a problem, but now she have a partner in crime. Great. All she need was you to show how higher and nicer you were compared to her. She hated you. Maeve hated how you make all her flaws more apparent. At least you are more subtle about your goodness than Starlight.

• At the beginning she thought you were manipulative. Maeve notice how you pretend to still be living the dream, unknowing to the their flaws. That won Homelander's compassion. He treat you like an apprentice. Like someone he can shape. Maeve thought you were using his necessity of praises and doe eyes against him, but she don't think that way anymore.

It happenned when Homelander killed in front of you for the first time. You couldn't help but to stare at all those bodies. All that blood. It was... you never saw anything like that. Not even in movies. You couldn't have imagine that someone could have so much blood.

"Dont look at me that way", Homelander held you by your arms. He wasn't agressively, but he stained you with blood. While your face was apathetic, frozen because of the grotesque, your eyes were enough to show what you were feeling. "Stop that. I told you to stop."

"He was", your mouth remained open, but no words came out of it. Homelander hold you tighter, your eyes flew away from the body and landed into his ocean blue eyes. So blue. So unnatural. "Unarmed."

"Oh." He smiled. Starlight's smile is so bright, Maeve is satirical, but his... His smile was sterelized. It was like something trying to look human. Trying to hard to look human. "Princess, my sweet princess, what do you think would happenned if he let him go away? He would tell everyone how he were unable to protect those stupid people. We don't want that, do we?"

"But we..."

"But?" Homelander asked. His smile was gone. "There is no 'but' here."

"She is in shock." Starlight were shaking, and yet was more capable than you. "Not everyone is used to killing people."

He didn't move. You could see something conquering his face. It was a cold rage, agressive yet silent. You knew he didn't trust Starlight. He was always looking for a reason to make her life harder. And she was trying to protect you, even tho she could be putting herself in danger. "So we did the right thing?" Your voice was nothing but a weak whisper. You hold his hands, stroking the bloody glove. You learned to read him. He is just fine with being hated, but he would prefer to be loved. "Didn't we?"

The change was instantaneous. He was smiling again, but this time it seem more real. Homelander eyes glared at you with kindness. "Yes. Yes, we did." He look at the rest of the team. "Finally someone with a working brain here."

• Since then her opinion about you change. You were kind to choose to take Homelander's attention away from Starlight, while being clever enough to do it in a way that work, while also being strong to put yourself together after seeing a massacre. If you were manipulating him, you wouldn't be shaking with big tears sliding across your face. You were... something.

• After that she keep an eye on you.

• It was a smart move. To be close to everyone. You aren't dumb, you know that the best your relationship with the team is the safer you are. She understand your true friendship with Starlight, your pretend facet to Homelander, your respect toward Madelyn. She don't understand your friendship with Noir, thats for sure. She seem to be the only person you absolutely hate. And it kinda sucks.

• Maeve notice that you tend to agree to whatever Ashley and Madelyn say. No questions, no hesitation, just obedience. It wasn't fear. It was just caution. Beside Starlight, you found a way to have a good relationship with every member of The Seven. For Homelander you were a smart girl that need to be guided. With A-Train you were more snarky, but respectful. Not friends, but not a threat. Maeve is not so sure, but she thinks that you and Noir are friends. One time you entered the elevator with a coloring book on your hands, and a few days later Maeve saw Noir drawing on it during the lunch. She also saw him buying chocolate with nuts, something that you tend to eat during meetings.

• Specially when it is just you two. People really enjoy when you both work together, and Vought give them what they want. And it actually really works. Maeve is the sword, you are the shield. Her experience and your energy go well together. So is commom for Maeve to be around you. To be stuck in a ambush. Or to be together all the way since the Vought's parking lot til the hallway were your rooms are. It sucks to be around you because she can feel your hate. No. Not hate. Your fear of becoming her.

Money flew because of the wind. The rain washed the blood from your skin. Your hands hold the gun pointed to your head. The thief pulled the trigger, but the layer of ice you created stopped the bullet. The pressure has you knocked to your knees.

Maeve had just finished a man when she heard the shot. Without thinking twice, she punched him in the face. It was enough for him to faint. "You fine?" She crused the gun with her feet, making it impossible to use again."

"Yeah." Your fingers were bruised. With the back of your hands you brush the hair away from your face. Some of the blood on your skin was yours, but you never get really hurt. "Kinda."

Maeve reached out to you. You hesitated, but accepted the help. She put you on your feets and scanned your body, searching for any wounds. You felt shy under her gaze. "What happenned to your knees?"

"I felt yesterday." The knees are so important during a fight, but you will soon get used to the pain and it won't disturb you anymore. You stir your head, uncomfortable because the rain keep putting your hair in front of your eyes. "I'm fine."

Maeve bit her own tongue. "Come here." When you didn't move she sighed. "Just come here." You did as she asked. Right in front of Maeve, a thunder echoed. She walked around you, stopping behind you.

You shuddered when you felt her fingers on your hair. "What are you doing?"

"Helping you." She gattered your hair, using her fingers as a comb. So she tied up your hair on a ponytail. Maeve rested her hands on your shoulders, your skin was so cold. You were always so cold.

"Thank you, Maeve." You whispered, unable to move. Her hands were so warm. It was great to feel them on your skin.

"Is just Maggie." You turned to face her. She was so closed. Her armour touched your body, her metal colliding with your woof. "You can call me Maggie."

"Maggie", you tried the word. "Its a beautiful name."

You never disagreed with whatever Madelyn Stillwell said to you, but there are a first time for everything. "A fake relashionship?".

"Just for the cameras. Your audience points will... "

"Are you kidding me?" You interrupted Madelyn. "Is that a fucking joke?"

"So you can swear", Maggie laughed. "I didn't knew you were capable of that."

"This is crazy." You ignored her. "I won't do that. I've already sold enough of my body. I put on this stupidly short outfit, run with those uncomfortable heals, take all those pictures. I was on your movies. And I never said no to anything you wanted me to do. I won't sell the last bit of dignity that remains here."

And for that your obedience was useful. If you were like A-Train or Starlight, Madelyn would've said the most hurtful things without thinking twice. But you did everything right since the beginning, so that means she could use some of her patience with you. "Vought is not asking you to be naked. Your body will be just fine."

"Don't fucking lie to me." Maggie never saw you so mad. "I don't want that."

"What do you think will happen when some vulture discover your sexuality?"

"What the hell?" said Maggie. "Are you blackmailing me?"

"I wasn't talking to you, Maeve." Stillwell glared at you. "We spend a lot of money to pay those that come after us with photos of you. One day they will come to the journals instead. Then what will happen? The conservatives that once loved you... Your appeal with men gonna fall so bad. Depending of the photos even who isn't homophobe will call you a slut."

You cheeks were burning. Now you were almost punching her face. Maeve notice how you clenched your fists.

"But this is the perfect moment to put you both out of the closet." All you family and friends knew about your sexuality, but it didn't matter for the rest of world. "Your couple even have a hashtag. 'Royalty.' Oh, I only wish I have tought of that name. It fits your narrative so well."

"Stop that." Maggie grabbed your hand and made you stand up. "Don't embarrassed her. We gonna do it."

Madelyn smile was so bright. So fake. "Perfect. I knew you would help me."

She pulled you out of the room, but your shaky legs didn't let you move any longer. Your hands were freezing. Your whole body seen to be almost turning into ice. Your rage was so... you couldn't even hear your own thoughts.

Maggie opened the bathroom door, you don't even remember entering there. "Hey", Maggie tried to calm you. "You will be just fine."

"I hate that place", your voice was embargoed. You failed to stop a hiccup. "I hate everything here. I am not a person anymore. I am a thing. Not even my body is mine. When I die all that will remain will be pretty lies."

"It will be just fine. I promissed." Maggie lied, but that was what you need to hear. Just another pretty lie. "Everything will be just fine."

• It wasn't the most horrible thing. It wasn't comfortable, but at least it wasn't horrible. You both had to spend way more time together. It started with public signs of affection. She would help you with your hair, the public tend to love it, and you would clean Maggie's face after a fight. You go to events together, always found a time to bring eachothers name to any interview, hold hands while walking.

• It was all to foment a online discussion. It need to seem natural. People should be talking about how it was abviously that you're dating Maggie before the public announcement. Your instagram was filled with photos that showed someone with red hair behind you. Even the couch you took those pictures was a marketing decision.

• Maggie was... not what you imagined she would be like. She was sweet. Sarcastic and annoying and punchable, but sweet. Thats been a time since when you started to think different about her. You realized that maybe your reaction to her was because you felt like looking at a mirror. Starlight was everything you wish you could be, but Maeve was all you think you are. No, not Maeve, just Maggie. But being around her, having to actually interact with her, changed your mind.

• Maggie look carefree, but its just a appearance. She told you what was real about her history. Helped with your fear of what would happen to you in the future. Maggie told you that it gets easier. And she funny to. In a cinnical way, but she is. Its nice being around her.

• And you were glad you were doing this with her. She had done that before, the fake relashionship, so she helped you. You both have limits, places you don't want to be touched and things you don't want to be said to others. Its still embarrasing to feel her arms around you, her fingers caressing your hair, her lips kissing your forehead. It is weird because, sometimes, it don't feel like and act. But that was you being dumb. All that pretending thing just messed with your head. Sure that was the reason.

• Sometimes Maggie felt guilt. When you sit beside her on a interview and she hold your thigh. Or when you are walking somewhere and her hands are touching the bottom of your back. Or when she hug you after a mission. When her fingers caress your face. When the fake smile you put to the cameras make her heart skip a beat. Or when she sees you with someone else, someone from your personal life, and find herself in a spiral about who that person could be. Or when you ask her if your makeup is too dark. When she fight with you and suddenly start to think about how strong and powerful you are. When she heard a Taylor Swift's song on the radio and remind of you. When you make jokes about how Ashley never stop walking. When she says goodnight to you before entering her room.

• Maggie felt... everything. You make her feel everything. And you don't even seem to notice. If you only knew all the things she keep to herself so she can tell them to you. All the dirtiest jokes she only say to you because you will laugh. Do you notice that she always save you a seat? Or that she started to act nice around Starlight?

• Maggie isn't pretending and this is killing her.

You entered the bar thinking that you would have some time alone. You were wrong. "Guess we had the same idea."

Maggie was on her second Martini. "Rough day?"

"The worst." You go to the collection of bottles and got the best wine you could find. You didn't even use a glass, you drink it from the bottleneck. Maggie licked her bottom lip. You were right in front of her, on the other side of the balcony. "A-Train decided it was a great idea to irritate Homelander. Ashley screamed with me because I cut me hair without asking first. And yours?"

She brused her red hair from her face. She wasn't drunk, but her body was already warm. "Just boring." She analized your hair, noticing the change. Maggie reached out to touch it, brushing the back of her hand on your face. "You look gorgeous."

Your belly turned warm with her words. "Thank you."

Maggie released the lock. "You are welcome, princess." You took a big sip from the bottle. "Easy tiger. This is not your last day alive. You can drink more tomorrow."

"You don't know that", you arched your eyebrows. "It could be."

"And you would like to spend your last bit of time drinking?"

"Maybe." Her laugh made you smile. "I would die happy at least. And I would be drinking with you. If you were A-Train I would kill myself just to not look at him again."

"What a boring way to spend it."

"I don't have any regrets", you told her. "I think I deserve to spend my last day drinking and dancing."

"You don't have any regrets?" Maggie sound so grave. She drink the rest of her Martini without looking away. "Not even a single one?"

You hesitated. You could've just walked away. Go to your room and drink the rest of the bottle. Called someone to make you company. Sleep. You could've done no many other things. But you pulled Maggie into a kiss.

Your tongue danced with her, the bitter of her Martini blending in with your sweet wine. She hold your face, her fingers stroking your skin. It was calm, and intimate, and yearning. It was like finally find an oasis in the middle of the desert. It was meant to be.

"Not anymore." You whispered against her lips.

You could felt her smile.

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[bittersweetimaginings]

Hi! Can you write Queen Maeve x reader (she/her) where Maeve and reader were broken up, but after the plane crash in season one, Maeve goes to the reader, and they get back together?

In your arms • Queen Maeve

⚠️Content warning: Mentions of trauma, depression, panic attacks, the plane sequence, Homelander’s general awfulness, alcoholism, self-destructive behavior and unstable relationship.

*These characters do not belong to me, all rights to their respective owners, this is just a piece of entertainment by and for fans.

Summary: In the wake of a traumatic event and horrid realizations, Maggie comes back to you.

Reader’s pronouns: She/Her

Keys: Y/N = Your Name, Y/MN = Your Mother’s name/nickname. In case you’ve forgotten: Margaret “Maggie” Shaw is the real name of Queen Maeve in the series. 

Author's note: If you want to send your own request, please check the Disclaimer & Rules post and the MASTERLIST post to see more content and which characters are available; Idk if Maeve is OCC, I rewatched a lot of her scenes with Elena and she always seems to be much more vulnerable around her, so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯.

"Maybe it was a bad idea." Maeve reflects for the first time since leaving that liquor store with enough alcohol in hand to supply an entire party; but her regret doesn't do much good, after all, she's already knocked on your door and she can hear movement through it that indicates you're on your way to open it and once you do, you can't stop a mixture of surprise and confusion invading your facial expression;  she is standing in front of you after so long, wearing loose and somewhat disheveled clothes, her hair looks a bit messy and although you can't see her at all, you notice her tired face and her puffy eyes that hint she might have been crying for a long time before coming here.

"Hey, Y/N." she greets you in a small voice, for some reason unable to look directly at you.

“Maeve?!” you asked more surprised than angry, even though you had reason enough to be, the last time you saw her she treated you so coldly that depression caught you for a long time.

You can see her carefully thinking about her answer before speaking again.

"Can- Can I come in?"

You hesitate for a few seconds, looking her up and down, trying to gauge her intentions somehow, but it's hard to know what she's up to; having come to you so unexpectedly after so long, and even though a part of you wants to slam the door right in her face, there is also something in you that ultimately notices how restless Maeve seems and you can't ignore the feeling of worry that comes over you; so just by nodding and without saying anything you let her in.

Maeve walks in so carefully and with so much hesitation, she manages to remind you of a shy baby deer exploring an unfamiliar area.

"Tea?" you offer as you walk into the kitchen on your way to turn off the pot you left on before her arrival and she gently accepts the offer.

The silence is awkward and Maeve's gaze travels over the details of your home as she waits for you to return from your trip to the kitchen, until she finally settles on one of the framed photos on the main shelf: in it you are smiling radiantly while holding your doctorate degree in your hands; Maeve smiles back with genuine happiness and pride, in her mind she remembers the many times in the past when you told her your life plan and the enthusiasm and determination in your eyes when you swore to heaven and earth that you would become one of the greatest exponents in your field.

Your steps announcing your return capture her attention and she congratulates you with a smile still present.

“Hey, you got it! When was the ceremony?

"A month ago, right on my mom's birthday." You hand her the cup of tea while taking a sip from your own as you respond calmly.

“Y/MN birthday? Man, bet she didn’t stop bragging about it to her friends, she’s right in doing so though, you’ve always been the smartest one in the room” she chuckles fondly to herself and although you enjoy this moment, you also feel some anger seeing Maeve act so nonchalantly as if time had frozen in a past where both were happy, maybe that's why you aggressively bring her back to reality.

“Why are you here?” the spark of anger inside you dripping in your tone.

Her smile fades into her previous timid and unsure demeanor and once again avoids your gaze.

“I was in the area and I thought…you know, If um, you wanna maybe…get some food? or we could-”

“Are you serious?” you cut her off and she stops immediately, not entirely sure what you want her to say.

“Margaret, you know how long it’s been? It's been 5 years since I last saw you! and now what? all of a sudden you show up at my door, looking like shit, acting like nothing has happened and you wanna go grab dinner?! bullshit!”

The anger in your words seems to hit her really hard with the truth of the situation, as she struggles to find her voice over the knot now forming in her throat, she declares quietly and sadly:

“This was a bad idea, I’m sorry.”

She turns her back on you, ready to leave just like the last time you saw her, and this only angers you even more.

“You haven’t changed at all, always leaving without an explanation, brave Maeve my ass, you’re a coward that’s what you are!” As soon as the words leave your mouth a part of you regrets it, but also your chest somehow now feels lighter, as if all you had said had liberated all the anger, sadness, resentments and insecurities Margaret had left you with 5 years ago.

Your breakup was one of the hardest things you had to deal with in your life, it happened at a point in time where what you needed most was the support of your dear girlfriend; your world was genuinely crashing down on you and yet Margaret left you, one day she just came to pack up her things and end the relationship without even giving you a reason why; You still remember how you chased her around the house, begging her not to leave, but she just locked the front door with her super strength preventing you from following her to the Vought limo she left in. Next thing you know, you're seeing your beloved girlfriend on VNN alongside Homelander confirming their relationship.

It was just so painful; it seemed like all this time, all the things you two had shared meant nothing, like you meant nothing. What a horrid realization, you almost let it crush you, almost, but you were strong and people in your family depended on you to keep living, so giving up was out of the question; In the end you “suck it up” and bury yourself in your work and studies like there’s no world outside of it. More than once you tried to get back in the dating world, but even though you would never admit to it outloud, the memory of your beloved Maggie ever present in your heart just wouldn’t let you. After everything you still loved her.

She stands there, frozen and silent like a ghost, room so quiet you start to become aware of your own ragged breathing, but then you hear it; faint yet desperate the sobs of Margaret break into your ears.

“You’re right.” she admitted, back still turned on you and her head slightly lowered.

“I am nothing but a coward.” she whines softly as she unsuccessfully tries to quiet down her sobbing but it starts to break in a choked and painful crying.

Through your rage, Margaret’s sadness and pain reaches you; you can’t see her face but you know by the sound of her cries it must bare a pitiful expression and so you breathe slowly in order to calm yourself down, and it’s only there that you notice her shaking form, you almost become scared for a split second, it feels like if she were to take a step forward she would fall to her knees instantly.

It’s been a long time since you last saw her like this, but you just know she’s going through it, she’s going through a panic attack.

“Hey, hey Margaret.” you call out softly to her as you slowly make your way over in an equally detained and dubious manner as she did once she entered the apartment.

“It’s ok, it’s ok.” you chant repeatedly as you finally stand in front of her and try your best to not cry as well. Once you see the unbearable pain in her expression, her breathing is ragged and agitated and through her gaze you see that her mind is not entirely here and seems to struggle in recognizing her surroundings.

“Maggie, it’s ok, you’re in my home, ok?” you assure her a few times but she still struggles now even in finding her footing as her legs start to give in.

“I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry.” Her frenetic apology concerns you but manage to keep your calm as you reassure her once again and remind her to breathe constantly.

She finally seems to recognize her surroundings but once she does she breaks in painful crying once again. 

“I left them there, I left them there and said nothing, I left them there to die.” she confesses but before you have any time to ask her what she’s referring to, her knees give in and collapses.

You manage to hold her before she hits the floor, as you briefly think of the irony, one of the strongest individuals in the world feels so fragile between your arms; She apologizes endlessly once again in between choked sobs and frenetic cries, but you hug her and caress her hair and back in repetitive motions in an attempt to calm her down, it seems to work and after a few minutes you can feel the panic in her system begin to dwindle as her breaths stabilizes slowly but she continues sobbing.

Maggie’s head is trying to find the correct words to tell you, to let you know; She didn’t want to abandon you, she never did; after all these years you still are her world and the only thought in her mind that keeps her going at times like this. She only left because she was pressured into a relationship with america’s golden hero and after seeing him kill so ruthlessly without a care in the world and Vought covering for him, she knew if she didn’t left, the moment homelander found out about you, that would be your death sentence and she wasn’t about to let anything happen to you…even if that meant she would never see you again. 

Maggie only speaks once again after a while.

“I’m sorry.” Unlike the last apologies this one feels like is directed towards you instead of whatever or whoever occupied her memories at the time. 

You take a minute trying to figure out what to do next, you want to question her on the meaning of her previous statements, but recognize that right now is not the right time, so you resume caressing her back as she continues to cry ever so softly on your shoulder.

For the first time in years, Margaret allows herself to be vulnerable, for the first time in years she doesn’t feel all alone and right now at this very moment, right here in your arms, for the first time in years she’s not Queen Maeve, just Maggie, the one who loves you endlessly.

[madwomansapologist]

untouchable + Queen Maeve (the boys)

Taylor Swift Writing Challenge: Untouchable

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synopsis: You fell in love with Margaret, but all you can do is watch her on TV wondering if one day you won't feel so alone.

warnings: little bit of angst. Vought deserves it's own warning. read this while hearing Untouchable, on the album Fearless, by Taylor Swift

It was an expensive dress. The brand was named after its designer, you couldn't write it down if you weren't looking. French, maybe German. But the high heels, oh, you know that name. Louboutin. Dark green, with jewels studded over the fingers, lightweight. The makeup was not done by you, but by a Vought makeup artist.

And it was like that, perfect from head to toe, that you spend your friday night devouring cheeseburgers while watching Pride and Prejudice and trying not to cry.

The lights were off, but that didn't mean you were on the dark. Maeve's apartment at Vought had a wide, floor-to-ceiling window, that let you observe the whole city. Not only the stars, but every single light burning down the tower. It made you feel even more alone.

She didn't even send you a message. Ashley was the one that called you. She was the one that told you that Margaret couldn't make it tonight. She was the one that send you cheeseburgers and wine and told you to have a you night. And Margaret... she didn't even send you a fucking message.

When Mr. Darcy crossed the field with that grey coat you decided to turn it off. You made the whole night without crying, but you're not strong enough to hear his last plea.

You pressed some buttons and a news channel echoed through the room. Journalists were arguing, or perhaps it was deputies. It didn't matter, they talked about police brutality or something. It was the same as always: someone said something coherent and the other person accused them of being a communist. You just turned your brain off, and let the bold colors hypnotize you.

But at some point she appeared. Smiling. That person look just like your Maggie, but it isn't her. It was Queen Maeve. The hero. The fighter. The woman of the decade. Inspiration from children around the world. On screen you saw a goddess, not your wife.

You knew it would be hard. You were prepared for all types of shit. But you thought you both were a team. That she would be beside you, fighting along with you. You were ready to deal with violence, and threats, and homophobia and the fear of losing her. But not the loneliness.

Margaret is more than just a star. She burns brighter than the sun. But she's also as distant as it. And it hurts you. It breaks you. Because all you want if for her to sit beside you and be there. How hard it is to be there to someone you love? How could she not see how this is killing you?

You should've ended this. You mom told you that, but you just couldn't. Because when she's next to you, it's like a little taste of heaven. You feel like come undone. But those wonderful moments don't last forever. They always end, and they always end with she moving away from you.

And after so long apart, when you thought that she would finally be there, you end up alone on a expensive couch watching her from a big screen.

The commercials worked like lullabies. Soon you fell asleep. Crooked on the sofa, with your neck in a way that wouldn't give you peace the next day, and your feet out of the blanket. It was a dreamless sleep.

But you woke up feeling a weight on your body. You blinked, trying to understand where you were. You're on the bed. Covered, without that tight dress, and with socks on your feet.

"It's late," she murmured. Maggie were right beside you, hugging your sleepy body. Closed eyelids, tired voice. "Everything will be fine."

That promise lived in limbo between truth and lie. You know she wants it to be true, but she can't guarantee it. Every night after another disappoiment you both have to make a choice. And you both always chose the same.

Maggie always chooses to say what you want to her.

And you always choose to say what she wants to hear. "Welcome home."

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[madwomansapologist]

Queen Maeve: fake dating

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synopsis: When the new member of The Seven and Queen Maeve made fans hearts go crazy, Vought decide that is was the perfect moment to a little fake relashionship. A saphicc couple would grant then so many points with the youngs and queers! They only didn't know that Queen Maeve had feelings for you. You also didn't know that.

notes: I did something different this time, hope y'all like it

warnings: female!reader. Vought deserve its own warning.

• You pinched yourself all the way to your first public appearance as a member of The Seven. That must be a dream! It happened before. While trying to sleep, at the shower, going to your mundane work: you imagine yourself on that position. But your pinches didn't wake you up. Fucking god, you are part of The Seven!

• Ashley helped you on the entrance surrounded by journalists and civillians. They were there... for you? They screamed your name, asked for pictures, thank you for all you did for them. You dreamed about a moment like this, but now it is true. It seens like you will need time to understand that.

• When you finally made it into the building, Ashley accompanied you while talking about how high your numbers with young women were and how your "new girl in town" energy made you popular with both men and women. What does that even mean? She grumbled that your name could have been better, Ice Princess was so basic, but at least it worked with kids. Your mind wasn't capable of holding all the information she told you, but you knew that when the lights went on you need enter the stage with Madelyn fucking Stillwell.

• It was different then the day Starlight was announced. Many women were on the stage talking about how the world need more women on important positions. Girl power! No one pronounced the name, but they were talking about The Deep. He was replaced after the horrible things he did to Starlight. Replace by you. Thats the reason why no other member of The Seven were there: Vought didn't want to appear like that story would happen again.

• Your first meeting with the team was... like being on heaven. Your heroes were right in front of you. Noir was just like you imagined: a mistery that would never be solved. A-Train sounded so mature, so knowing of the weight on his shoulders. Translucent weren't there, he was in a important secret mission. Homelander was some kind of Jesus. But not everything was perfect.

• Starlight seem... kinda sad. Almost melancholic. Maybe she wasn't on a great day. Maybe she didn't like you. That scared you, but you could be wrong. But there were her. Queen Maeve. They all were heroes, but she was your hero. The women you look up to. Your inspiration. And if Starlight seem uncomfortable, she seem enraged.

• Your tried to lie to yourself. To pretend that it was just your mind tricking you into thinking that everyone hates you. It would've worked if all the other heroes didn't seem to like you. And the possibility of you being just confused was ruined when you had to use the bathroom.

You faced Starlight when you walked out of the bathroom cabin. She was in front of the mirror arranging her gold hair, that wasn't even messy, and made eye contact with you. A odd taste rule your mouth, but you tried to mask your discomfort with a smile. She didn't smiled back.

Washing your hands, you felt her gaze. You dried them, trying not to look like you were about to run out of there (because you were), but her words stopped you. "Its your first day here", pointed Starlight. She sighed, now facing you. "I won't be able to sleep without telling you what I wish someone had told me when I was on your position."

Your smile was so big it hurt your cheeks. You were wrong. Starlight don't hate you. She was just worried. "You wanna give me advice?"

"Yes. I do", Starlight stopped herself. It was like she wasn't sure how to proceed. "You know that image you have about The Seven? Forget it. It was all made by the marketing team. Don't trust them. Don't you ever make the mistake of trust them."

And as quickly as it came, your smile faded away. "W-What are talking about?" You didn't notice your hands shaking. "Is it a hoax?"

"You seem like a good person." Starlight passed by you, walking towards the door. "I hope you don't make the same mistakes I did. But, if you do, I'm here."

And she left you alone with your thoughts. You gazed the door, waiting for her to come back and joke about how scary you look. But the only thing that you saw was the last bathroom cabin door opening.

Queen Maeve walked toward the sink, glaring at you with a look that you couldn't understand. It was like a parody of an affectionate look. Something that should be seem as friendly. She licked her rosy lips, washing her hands beside you.

"I wouldn't have warned you. But now that she did, guess its my turn to give you some advice." Queen Maeve stopped right in front of you. You looked up to be able to see her face. "Do not disturb me, princess."

• You quickly understood what Annie meant. It was all about money. They sold themselfs. Their bodies, their morals. It made you feel deceived. At least Annie was nice. She helped you. Annie said she was only doing what she wish someone had done for her, but a friendship between you both grown. If you only could said the same about Queen Maeve.

• Part of you feel betrayed. She was your hero. The reason for you to fight. All those times you felt like giving up you think to yourself that Queen Maeve would never gave up. But then all she does is discuss about copyright. The other part feel wronged. She is a woman after all. Shouldn't her be with you both? You can't stop to think about when Annie vented about what that asshole did to her. Maeve knew who he really was. Apparently everyone knew. She could've have done something. She could've have warned her. She could've have protect her. She could at least have supported her.

• Its like everyone say: never meet your heroes.

Ashley said that being on a pair with Queen Maeve would bring you both so many audience points. You didn't want to be around Maeve, but you learned with Starlight mistakes: you accept what Vought give to you. You just didn't imagine that a ambush would last so longer.

Hidden inside a car, all you had to distract yourself was your powers. You made your fingertips freeze against the window, forming little drawings. You form some flowers, then cleaned with your arm so you could drawn more.

"Can't you just focous?" grumbled Maeve. Being around her wasn't comfortable, but at least you both seem to agree that silence was the better option. But when Maeve have a mean coment to make, she will.

"Am I disturbing you?" Your fingers were frozing, and yet your eyes burned her skin. You took down the binoculars on your lap.

"Someone is sensitive today", Maeve rolled her eyes. She checked the license plate she was looking for, just to make sure. "I'm just saying you should pay attention. You need those audience points."

"I'm paying attention. You can't do two things at the same time?"

Maeve didn't answer you. She smiled, what was as difficult to understand as her eyes. "You really do hate me, huh? C'mon, princess, show me your claws."

"I don't hate you." You really were sincere about it. "I just don't respect you. You are a empty doll the markenting create. Eveything you are is a meaningless product. I definitely don't hate you."

"That was supossed to hurt me?" Thats it. Now you get. The problem was on Maeve's eyes. Don't matter how sincere or careful the rest of her face look, those blue eyes always seem to be making fun of whoever she is looking at. They always seem to be mocking you. "You look at me like you hate me. Stop that. Or we won't be able to sell that we are good friends."

"Don't worry, I discovered that I am a great actress." You smiled back. You spend more time recording for Vought than fighting. Even that ambosh can't be considering saving someone. The car you both are using is from a sponsor. Your knew uniform will be anounced today during the recordings the hidden cameras are making. Your tights are almost completely visible. You aren't a hero anymore. "And I don't look at you with hate. It is fear."

"Fear?" Maeve's eyes seem to glow. "Of all people, I am the one that you are affraid of? I thought you were clever."

"I'm affraid of ending up like you."

For the rest of the night Maeve didn't opened her mouth again.

• It seem to be the year Maeve would have to deal with hopeful freshers. Starlight was already a problem, but now she have a partner in crime. Great. All she need was you to show how higher and nicer you were compared to her. She hated you. Maeve hated how you make all her flaws more apparent. At least you are more subtle about your goodness than Starlight.

• At the beginning she thought you were manipulative. Maeve notice how you pretend to still be living the dream, unknowing to the their flaws. That won Homelander's compassion. He treat you like an apprentice. Like someone he can shape. Maeve thought you were using his necessity of praises and doe eyes against him, but she don't think that way anymore.

It happenned when Homelander killed in front of you for the first time. You couldn't help but to stare at all those bodies. All that blood. It was... you never saw anything like that. Not even in movies. You couldn't have imagine that someone could have so much blood.

"Dont look at me that way", Homelander held you by your arms. He wasn't agressively, but he stained you with blood. While your face was apathetic, frozen because of the grotesque, your eyes were enough to show what you were feeling. "Stop that. I told you to stop."

"He was", your mouth remained open, but no words came out of it. Homelander hold you tighter, your eyes flew away from the body and landed into his ocean blue eyes. So blue. So unnatural. "Unarmed."

"Oh." He smiled. Starlight's smile is so bright, Maeve is satirical, but his... His smile was sterelized. It was like something trying to look human. Trying to hard to look human. "Princess, my sweet princess, what do you think would happenned if he let him go away? He would tell everyone how he were unable to protect those stupid people. We don't want that, do we?"

"But we..."

"But?" Homelander asked. His smile was gone. "There is no 'but' here."

"She is in shock." Starlight were shaking, and yet was more capable than you. "Not everyone is used to killing people."

He didn't move. You could see something conquering his face. It was a cold rage, agressive yet silent. You knew he didn't trust Starlight. He was always looking for a reason to make her life harder. And she was trying to protect you, even tho she could be putting herself in danger. "So we did the right thing?" Your voice was nothing but a weak whisper. You hold his hands, stroking the bloody glove. You learned to read him. He is just fine with being hated, but he would prefer to be loved. "Didn't we?"

The change was instantaneous. He was smiling again, but this time it seem more real. Homelander eyes glared at you with kindness. "Yes. Yes, we did." He look at the rest of the team. "Finally someone with a working brain here."

• Since then her opinion about you change. You were kind to choose to take Homelander's attention away from Starlight, while being clever enough to do it in a way that work, while also being strong to put yourself together after seeing a massacre. If you were manipulating him, you wouldn't be shaking with big tears sliding across your face. You were... something.

• After that she keep an eye on you.

• Maeve notice that you tend to agree to whatever Ashley and Madelyn say. No questions, no hesitation, just obedience. It wasn't fear. It was just caution. Beside Starlight, you found a way to have a good relationship with every member of The Seven. For Homelander you were a smart girl that need to be guided. With A-Train you were more snarky, but respectful. Not friends, but not a threat. Maeve is not so sure, but she thinks that you and Noir are friends. One time you entered the elevator with a coloring book on your hands, and a few days later Maeve saw Noir drawing on it during the lunch. She also saw him buying chocolate with nuts, something that you tend to eat during meetings.

• It was a smart move. To be close to everyone. You aren't dumb, you know that the best your relationship with the team is the safer you are. She understand your true friendship with Starlight, your pretend facet to Homelander, your respect toward Madelyn. She don't understand your friendship with Noir, thats for sure. She seem to be the only person you absolutely hate. And it kinda sucks.

• Specially when it is just you two. People really enjoy when you both work together, and Vought give them what they want. And it actually really works. Maeve is the sword, you are the shield. Her experience and your energy go well together. So is commom for Maeve to be around you. To be stuck in a ambush. Or to be together all the way since the Vought's parking lot til the hallway were your rooms are. It sucks to be around you because she can feel your hate. No. Not hate. Your fear of becoming her.

Money flew because of the wind. The rain washed the blood from your skin. Your hands hold the gun pointed to your head. The thief pulled the trigger, but the layer of ice you created stopped the bullet. The pressure has you knocked to your knees.

Maeve had just finished a man when she heard the shot. Without thinking twice, she punched him in the face. It was enough for him to faint. "You fine?" She crused the gun with her feet, making it impossible to use again."

"Yeah." Your fingers were bruised. With the back of your hands you brush the hair away from your face. Some of the blood on your skin was yours, but you never get really hurt. "Kinda."

Maeve reached out to you. You hesitated, but accepted the help. She put you on your feets and scanned your body, searching for any wounds. You felt shy under her gaze. "What happenned to your knees?"

"I felt yesterday." The knees are so important during a fight, but you will soon get used to the pain and it won't disturb you anymore. You stir your head, uncomfortable because the rain keep putting your hair in front of your eyes. "I'm fine."

Maeve bit her own tongue. "Come here." When you didn't move she sighed. "Just come here." You did as she asked. Right in front of Maeve, a thunder echoed. She walked around you, stopping behind you.

You shuddered when you felt her fingers on your hair. "What are you doing?"

"Helping you." She gattered your hair, using her fingers as a comb. So she tied up your hair on a ponytail. Maeve rested her hands on your shoulders, your skin was so cold. You were always so cold.

"Thank you, Maeve." You whispered, unable to move. Her hands were so warm. It was great to feel them on your skin.

"Is just Maggie." You turned to face her. She was so closed. Her armour touched your body, her metal colliding with your woof. "You can call me Maggie."

"Maggie", you tried the word. "Its a beautiful name."

You never disagreed with whatever Madelyn Stillwell said to you, but there are a first time for everything. "A fake relashionship?".

"Just for the cameras. Your audience points will... "

"Are you kidding me?" You interrupted Madelyn. "Is that a fucking joke?"

"So you can swear", Maggie laughed. "I didn't knew you were capable of that."

"This is crazy." You ignored her. "I won't do that. I've already sold enough of my body. I put on this stupidly short outfit, run with those uncomfortable heals, take all those pictures. I was on your movies. And I never said no to anything you wanted me to do. I won't sell the last bit of dignity that remains here."

And for that your obedience was useful. If you were like A-Train or Starlight, Madelyn would've said the most hurtful things without thinking twice. But you did everything right since the beginning, so that means she could use some of her patience with you. "Vought is not asking you to be naked. Your body will be just fine."

"Don't fucking lie to me." Maggie never saw you so mad. "I don't want that."

"What do you think will happen when some vulture discover your sexuality?"

"What the hell?" said Maggie. "Are you blackmailing me?"

"I wasn't talking to you, Maeve." Stillwell glared at you. "We spend a lot of money to pay those that come after us with photos of you. One day they will come to the journals instead. Then what will happen? The conservatives that once loved you... Your appeal with men gonna fall so bad. Depending of the photos even who isn't homophobe will call you a slut."

You cheeks were burning. Now you were almost punching her face. Maeve notice how you clenched your fists.

"But this is the perfect moment to put you both out of the closet." All you family and friends knew about your sexuality, but it didn't matter for the rest of world. "Your couple even have a hashtag. 'Royalty.' Oh, I only wish I have tought of that name. It fits your narrative so well."

"Stop that." Maggie grabbed your hand and made you stand up. "Don't embarrassed her. We gonna do it."

Madelyn smile was so bright. So fake. "Perfect. I knew you would help me."

She pulled you out of the room, but your shaky legs didn't let you move any longer. Your hands were freezing. Your whole body seen to be almost turning into ice. Your rage was so... you couldn't even hear your own thoughts.

Maggie opened the bathroom door, you don't even remember entering there. "Hey", Maggie tried to calm you. "You will be just fine."

"I hate that place", your voice was embargoed. You failed to stop a hiccup. "I hate everything here. I am not a person anymore. I am a thing. Not even my body is mine. When I die all that will remain will be pretty lies."

"It will be just fine. I promissed." Maggie lied, but that was what you need to hear. Just another pretty lie. "Everything will be just fine."

• It wasn't the most horrible thing. It wasn't comfortable, but at least it wasn't horrible. You both had to spend way more time together. It started with public signs of affection. She would help you with your hair, the public tend to love it, and you would clean Maggie's face after a fight. You go to events together, always found a time to bring eachothers name to any interview, hold hands while walking.

• It was all to foment a online discussion. It need to seem natural. People should be talking about how it was abviously that you're dating Maggie before the public announcement. Your instagram was filled with photos that showed someone with red hair behind you. Even the couch you took those pictures was a marketing decision.

• Maggie was... not what you imagined she would be like. She was sweet. Sarcastic and annoying and punchable, but sweet. Thats been a time since when you started to think different about her. You realized that maybe your reaction to her was because you felt like looking at a mirror. Starlight was everything you wish you could be, but Maeve was all you think you are. No, not Maeve, just Maggie. But being around her, having to actually interact with her, changed your mind.

• Maggie look carefree, but its just a appearance. She told you what was real about her history. Helped with your fear of what would happen to you in the future. Maggie told you that it gets easier. And she funny to. In a cinnical way, but she is. Its nice being around her.

• And you were glad you were doing this with her. She had done that before, the fake relashionship, so she helped you. You both have limits, places you don't want to be touched and things you don't want to be said to others. Its still embarrasing to feel her arms around you, her fingers caressing your hair, her lips kissing your forehead. It is weird because, sometimes, it don't feel like and act. But that was you being dumb. All that pretending thing just messed with your head. Sure that was the reason.

• Sometimes Maggie felt guilt. When you sit beside her on a interview and she hold your thigh. Or when you are walking somewhere and her hands are touching the bottom of your back. Or when she hug you after a mission. When her fingers caress your face. When the fake smile you put to the cameras make her heart skip a beat. Or when she sees you with someone else, someone from your personal life, and find herself in a spiral about who that person could be. Or when you ask her if your makeup is too dark. When she fight with you and suddenly start to think about how strong and powerful you are. When she heard a Taylor Swift's song on the radio and remind of you. When you make jokes about how Ashley never stop walking. When she says goodnight to you before entering her room.

• Maggie felt... everything. You make her feel everything. And you don't even seem to notice. If you only knew all the things she keep to herself so she can tell them to you. All the dirtiest jokes she only say to you because you will laugh. Do you notice that she always save you a seat? Or that she started to act nice around Starlight?

• Maggie isn't pretending and this is killing her.

You entered the bar thinking that you would have some time alone. You were wrong. "Guess we had the same idea."

Maggie was on her second Martini. "Rough day?"

"The worst." You go to the collection of bottles and got the best wine you could find. You didn't even use a glass, you drink it from the bottleneck. Maggie licked her bottom lip. You were right in front of her, on the other side of the balcony. "A-Train decided it was a great idea to irritate Homelander. Ashley screamed with me because I cut me hair without asking first. And yours?"

She brused her red hair from her face. She wasn't drunk, but her body was already warm. "Just boring." She analized your hair, noticing the change. Maggie reached out to touch it, brushing the back of her hand on your face. "You look gorgeous."

Your belly turned warm with her words. "Thank you."

Maggie released the lock. "You are welcome, princess." You took a big sip from the bottle. "Easy tiger. This is not your last day alive. You can drink more tomorrow."

"You don't know that", you arched your eyebrows. "It could be."

"And you would like to spend your last bit of time drinking?"

"Maybe." Her laugh made you smile. "I would die happy at least. And I would be drinking with you. If you were A-Train I would kill myself just to not look at him again."

"What a boring way to spend it."

"I don't have any regrets", you told her. "I think I deserve to spend my last day drinking and dancing."

"You don't have any regrets?" Maggie sound so grave. She drink the rest of her Martini without looking away. "Not even a single one?"

You hesitated. You could've just walked away. Go to your room and drink the rest of the bottle. Called someone to make you company. Sleep. You could've done no many other things. But you pulled Maggie into a kiss.

Your tongue danced with her, the bitter of her Martini blending in with your sweet wine. She hold your face, her fingers stroking your skin. It was calm, and intimate, and yearning. It was like finally find an oasis in the middle of the desert. It was meant to be.

"Not anymore." You whispered against her lips.

You could felt her smile.

GENERAL TAGLIST: @suakemi @notanalienindisguiseblink

if you enjoyed, please reblog! i promise it makes a difference ♡

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