#what did they do to you shmoo

[americangirlstar]

Two Hawks’s Name

So. I got curious about what Two Hawks’s name would be in his own language. I mean, I’m curious about what all of Kaya’s contemporaries would be named, but a few weeks ago I got hit with a strong desire to look into Two Hawks’s name specifically while doing research on the Salish nations.

As Two Hawks lives in the general Washington area, he would liikely use the Kalispel or Spokane dialect of his language. In both Kalispel and Spokane, “Esel” means “two,” but it was a bit hard to find a word for “hawk” or “hawks.”

So I ended up on native-languages.org, a non-profit organization site dedicated to the survival of Native languages. They have a specific page in which you can email their experts and request to know a word in exchange for a $10 donation. So I did send them a request, telling them that a character in a book I liked was named “Two Hawks” in the Salish Kalispel-Spokane language and I would like to know what his name would be.

They actually did respond to it, which I’m very excited about! I’m posting the email they sent to me below w/ a transcription under it. (Note: I wasn’t sure if Ms Redish’s email was from the site or personal? So to be safe I blacked it out). The tl;dr is there’s three possibilities for Two Hawks’s name, which is very exciting!

Thanks for taking part in our fundraiser!

Well, the Salish word for "Two" is "esel," but there are several different words for hawks in Salish. A fish hawk or osprey is c'ixʷc'xʷ. It's very typical of Salish words to be eye-popping tongue-twisters like this, the Salishan languages are considered to be among the most difficult in the world for English speakers to pronounce. The c' is pronounced like the "ts" in "cats" but with a clicking sound, and the "xʷ" sounds a bit like the "hw" sound you might make blowing out a candle. So c'ixʷc'xʷ is pronounced a little like tseets only with extra clicking and guttural blowing sounds. A red-tailed hawk is c'lc'lšmu, which is easier to pronounce, it sounds a little like chull-chull-shmoo only with clicks.

A sparrow hawk or falcon is the easiest to say, Aatat (pronounced ah-tot.) So this character's name could have been something like Esel C'ixʷc'xʷ, Esel C'lc'lšmu, or Esel Aatat.

Hope that is interesting to you, have a good day! Laura Redish Native Languages of the Americas

Everyone say thank you Laura Redish!!

What do you think is most likely to be Two Hawks’s name? Personally I think Esel C'lc'lšmu is the most likely, as I feel the translated name would have reflected it if he was named after an osprey or falcon, but any of them are possible.

[innalheid]

okay you voted for cake time. so guess what it's frickin cake time

Here are (most) of my cakes from this week!! We have a "shmoo" cake, which is angel food cake with pecans, iced with whipped cream and topped/filled with a rich caramel sauce; a walnut carrot cake iced with cream cheese icing and decorated with crushed + roasted walnuts and little marzipan carrots; a triple chocolate cake, filled with chocolate mousse and iced with chocolate Italian merengue buttercream; and finally, a lemon chiffon cake with cherry filling and iced with white chocolate merengue buttercream! It was supposed to be blueberry filling, but my filling ended up being a little too loose to fill with, so we used my cherry filling meant for another cake.

The chocolate was my very first time doing the roses!!! I think I did pretty good considering I was using the warmest buttercream in the world XD stay tuned for more cake pics!!

[ID: ten photos of decorated cakes on a wooden bakery workbench. The first three photos show a cake with white icing, with a rosette border on the top of the cake and pecans on each rosette. There is a caramel sauce covering the top of the cake within the rosette border and dripping down the sides of the cake. The next two are of a carrot cake, iced in an off white icing. The sides of the cake are covered in crushed walnuts, and the top of the cake has eight shell piping decorations placed evenly in a circle, each with a small marzipan carrot placed on top. The second of the two photos is a picture of the cut cake, showcasing the layers. The next three photos are of a chocolate cake iced in a light brown chocolate icing. On top of this cake are several buttercream roses and leaves in the same colour of icing, bunched into two groups. The last two photos are of a cake iced in an ivory icing, with a shell border around the edge of the top of the cake. Within the border is a large cluster of buttercream roses in a crescent moon shape. The roses are a light purple and a sunny yellow, and there are small pastel green leaves tucked all around the roses. End ID]

[fiesta-freddie]

Random Dazai Relationship HCs because I said so

Coffee shop dates! All! The! Time!

Cheesy pick up lines 24/7

“Aside from being sexy, what do you do for a living?”

“Are you sure you’re not tired? You’ve been running through my mind all day.”

Cute nicknames like “Belladonna” “darling” “shmoo”

Very self conscious about that fact you could find someone “100 times better” and that you might potentially leave him

You two definitely come up with mischievous plans to annoy Kunikida and Chuuya

Never gets any work done because he’s always looking at you or talking to you

Always somehow convinces you to buy him crab (or seafood in general)

No matter how many times you show him, cooking with him always ends in disaster

For any special occasion he tries to make you a nice meal but ultimately fails

You can’t be mad though. It’s absolutely adorable because you know that he tries really hard

“I promise I did everything right! Maybe I just baked the noodles in the oven for too long…”

“Dazai, you aren’t supposed to bake noodles”

“…how does takeout sound?”

Loves to spoil you when he has the chance, especially if he’s been away on a mission for a few days

He’ll spoil you even if he doesn’t have the money to, just to show you how much he loves you

Claims that he can’t fall asleep unless he’s holding you in his arms

As much as he loves being a tease he’s always ALWAYS down for a long cuddle session

He likes to go on evening walks in the city, hand-in-hand. Especially in the winter time when the lights are glowing

Whenever you worry about him or are scared he’ll hum to you and reassure you he’s okay to calm you down

If you ever get sick he goes full mom mode

Probably ends up getting sick too because he’s around you so much

Scary movie nights once a week

He always pick super scary ones just so you’ll hide in his arms

Gives you his trench coat whenever he can’t be with you

Definitely very horny 24/7

Like all the time

Loves to show you off and talk about you all the time

“You guys should be jealous of me. Y/N is literally the best ever”

VERY protective of you

But in a good way

“Hey HEY! Ranpo, I saw you making lovey dovey eyes towards my Beautiful Belladonna! Don’t try and steal her from me now”

He was just giving you some snacks??

Would actually die for you

No questions asked

He has trouble saying it sometimes but he loves you more than anything

[ghostchasersmagazine]

Opinions on Fangface??

Fangface is a show that’s been on my radar for a little while now and I knew I’d get to eventually since it is definitely something that ticks the boxes for shows I talk about on this blog - a monster kid, teenagers solving mysteries, Jerry Dexter voicing one of the characters. 

I’ve seen three of the episodes now (6,7, and 8), and so far I’m liking it. I like the take on the werewolf transformation the show has, with it being a psychological sort of deal with the whole Jekyll and Hyde thing it has going on. I especially like how the transformation can be triggered by just images of the sun and moon as well, again playing into the psychological side of being a werewolf.

The fact that it’s a show with a werewolf protagonist leads to a lot of fun mysteries that couldn’t be done in most of the other Mystery Teen shows, too - in the episodes I’ve seen so far there’s been dinosaurs, supervillains, and space creatures. It’s also an excuse to use sound effects from shows like Superfriends, which is always a bonus in my book since I have a ton of nostalgia for that series. These scenarios gave me strong The New Shmoo vibes, which makes sense given that they aired about the same time (though I think that Fangface did come out first).

The character designs are good as well, which I expected since I tend to like the designs in this kind of show. Puggsy’s design is probably my favorite since its the most unique amongst the Mystery Teen-type designs. The designs for Fangface is both his human form and werewolf form are good too, I like the backwards cap and lone fang. Kim stands out at least a little bit since she has darker skin which is rare in these shows, and Biff’s design is perfectly serviceable - not particularly memorable but nice enough.

Character-wise I do like Puggsy’s character, I like his talking mannerism of saying similar-but-not-quite-right words and his snarky-ness works well for comedic purposes. I mostly like his and Fangface’s dynamic, though that thing where Fangface always tries to attack him right after transforming is a little weird to me. According to Wikipedia their relationship and Puggsy’s character in general is supposed to be based on something I’ve never heard of before, so I suppose that’s a sign of good writing if I can still enjoy it without getting the reference. 

The main criticism I have with Fangface so far is that I wish the show did more with Kim and Biff, because there’s very little if anything going on with them. It is true that the comedic relief + companion characters often get the most screen time in these shows and that the “main guy and girl have limited personality” criticism can be applied to most of them as well, but at least those other shows will show what the two of them are doing while the group is split up to get some character interaction out of them. In the three episodes I saw there was basically none of that for Kim and Biff. The only thing I really remember about Kim is that she says “Willikers” as her catchphrase, and the only thing I really got from Biff is that he’s voiced by Jerry Dexter, so almost every time he was on screen my main thought was “yeah that’s Alan from Josie and the Pussycats all right” (aside from the one time it was “yeah that’s Ted from Goober and the Ghost Chasers all right”).

But like I said though, I am enjoying it so far. I debated whether or not I should post screenshots and stuff from it on this blog since it’s not actually Hanna Barbera but Ruby Spears, and I came down on the side of yes, if only because Ruby and Spears were the co-creators of Scooby Doo and thus it seems fair to include their other Mystery Teen show. The Fangface group can be honorary HB mystery solvers if you will.

[shmoo92]

Geo Crush: The Illustrator

[Zhongli, Itto, Gorou, and Albedo are domain running together. No one knows Albedo is Calx, the painter behind Ms Hina’s portraits and illustrator of a number of popular light novels. Itto doesn’t know Gorou’s Ms Hina, neither Gorou nor Itto know Albedo or Zhongli’s origin stories. For more of this quartet, please check out chapter 2 of This Shmoo’s Teyvat Travel Guide!)

Zhongli: so who is this Ms Hina?

Itto: [waxes poetically, offers his favourite issue of Your Life]

Zhongli: hm, the art style of these portraits seem familiar.

Gorou: *squints at portrait*

Yeye: Albedo, would you say it’s reminiscent of that Liyuen series, what was it called—

Gorou, rapidly poking his fish box: Legend of Shattered Halberd?

Zhongli: yes, that’s the one.

Albedo: I would imagine it’s an intentional similarity; the editor likely asked the artist to emulate the style hoping to capitalise on Halberd’s popularity

Gorou’s fish box: *chimes*

Zhongli: then I must tip my hat; the artist did a remarkable job evoking it

Gorou: HA

Gorou: I knew it! Same artist: Calx

(Gorou: thank you, Kokomi, you nerd)

Zhongli: a pseudonym, I presume. Gorou, have you met them?

Gorou: what no of course not what reason could I possibly have to interact with an illustrator?

Itto: fan signings? GASP do you have autographs??

Gorou: o. right. but no, I haven’t met them.

Zhongli: Calx, hm? A word that means “chalk”, but specifically “chalk from alchemy”

Albedo: it’s also a star in the gemini constellation; it could be that the the illustrator is in fact two people with remarkably similar styles working together, or maybe this one individual is honouring a deceased twin. It could even be that case that perhaps the illustrator works anonymously, treating this side of themselves as a second entity, and chose “Calx” as a more subtle nod to their duplicity

Albedo: weren’t you complaining about the ‘two faced nature’ of someone you worked with? Tarantella, was it? Maybe this is his work

Albedo then has the great pleasure of watching Yeye’s brain visibly stall and force a hard reset.

[zuucc]

KIDS: T. Jost I BLURB

Words: 1K

Summary: You’d never wanted kids. Never. But seeing Tyson with kids had you feeling different. 

Author’s note: @going-full-shmoo and I had a conversation that resulted in this. I’m just going to say that I’m sorry in advance. Unedited until further notice.

“Don’t give him any babies!” you warn the girls as you walk into Gabe and Mel’s living room, sending a look to the guys as well, all standing around EJ who was on uncle duties, holding Linnea in his big arms.

“What? Why?” Gabe asks, chuckling, his gaze moving towards Tyson who was not far behind you.

“Her uterus goes into - I quote - existential crisis every time I interact with someone under the age of ten, making her question everything she’s ever known,” Tyson smirks, before giving you a teasing a look and strolling over to EJ and Linnea. You fall into the plush couch between Mel and Aleksandra, deflating like a floatie after a full summer in the pool. Luckily EJ wasn’t ready to give up his duties yet.

“How’s it going?” Mel laughs, smirking just like your boyfriend.

“I am in a constant battle with my uterus, what do you think?” you huff, looking over at Tyson who’s now found a toddler to play with, wincing at the sight and the fluttering feeling it gave you.

“Who’s winning?” Aleks asks, looking between yourself and Tyson.

“It sure as hell ain’t me,” you groan, making the two women laugh. 

“What’s going on with her?” Ashley asks as she comes over to you and the other girls, baby on her arm. She looks straight at Mel, asking her, instead of the slumping form of hormones that is yourself. 

“Her uterus is trying to convince her to get pregnant, and Tyson isn’t helping her case,” Mel explains, running a hand over your hair and nodding to Tyson who was now making faces at Linnea, the cause of the small giggles that filled the room. 

“I thought you didn’t want kids,” Ashley states the obvious, turning her attention back to you with a smirk on her lips. 

“So did I,” you mutter under your breath, your eyes glued to your boyfriend who had you feeling like you were made of butterflies - his eyes lightening up as EJ finally gave in and handed over Linnea to him. You wanted to be annoyed but there was no way you could be, the man with the little girl on his hip, making her giggle, had not only accepted the fact that you didn’t want kids and promised to love you either way, but no one could be annoyed at that sight; Tyson smiling widely at her as she giggled, her tiny hands in front of his face as he blew air into the soft skin of those incredibly small hands. 

“I don’t understand,” Cale looks between you and Tyson who’s still working his best moves on the little girl. Cale had taken Mel’s place beside you, when she went to get the food ready for serving with Gabe. 

“I have never wanted kids, at least not since I used to play with dolls as a kid. I have never felt that need to reproduce and be a mother. Never. But then I met Tyson, and I just love him so god damn much and now my brain is twisting around itself. My uterus literally reacts when I see him with kids, it’s like my inner, well-hidden motherly instincts get a boner or something,” you try your best to explain your situation to him. To say you left him speechless was an understatement.  

Half an hour later, Linnea is asleep on his chest and Tyson comes over to you with a sheepish smile on his lips, sitting down next to you. 

“Hey,” he says, following your every move closely as you reach out to run your finger over Linnea’s soft cheek, pressing your own cheek to Tyson’s shoulder. 

“How are you dealing with this?” he asks, a hint of laughter in his voice but mostly it’s sweet. He knows it’s a serious problem for you, a constant battle between the one thing you’d known for years - you didn’t want kids - and the part of you that was so stupidly in love with Tyson that you’d do anything to make him happy, that had all your principles twisting. Your heart literally felt like it was about to burst with love just seeing him with someone else’s kid, imagine what it’d be like if the baby was yours and had his curly hair and goofy smile. 

“Not well,” you sigh, and his stare softens, leaning towards you and pressing a kiss to your forehead. 

“I’m sorry,” he says as he pulls back, knowing very well he’s got nothing to apologize for. 

“Not your fault, baby,” you tell him, saying the exact opposite of what you said on the car ride over, as you were whining over the fact that he had plans of conquering the hearts of every kid there. 

“Give me at least five years,” you whisper hours later as you lay in bed, your front pressed to Tyson’s back as you spooned him, your lips pressed to his shoulder. 

“What?” Tyson asks, his mind not in the same place as yours. He places his phone on the nightstand and turns around to face you. 

“Give me at least five years to what I do, to work. I went through way too much education to not be a 100% in for a few more years,�� you go on, leaving Tyson just as confused. You look up at him, moving your gaze away from the spot in the ceiling you’d been staring it mindlessly for the last ten or so minutes. Looking up at him you realize he still has no clue what you’re talking about. 

“Five years and, if you want, we can have a baby, Tyson,” you tell him, tears welling in your eyes. It was a weird feeling, actually saying it out loud, admitting to yourself that you wanted the one thing you’d been so adamant about not wanting. But there was no denying the feeling it gave you, being with the man lying in just his boxers next to you under the sheets. 

“What?” he asks, this time in disbelief. His hand comes up to cup the side of your face. 

“I mean, are you sure? I don’t want you to change for me. I am fine with not having kids, baby - as long as I have you,” he adds, making the tears spill down your cheeks. How could he possibly love you as much as he did? At the same time, you knew the feeling, because you loved him like you hadn’t loved anything before - more than you could’ve imagined loving anyone or anything. 

“I am sure, baby,” you press your forehead to his, sighing contently. 

“Why are you crying, then?” Tyson asks, trying his best to dry the tears away. You couldn’t help but giggle. 

“Because I love you so much, Tyson, so much that you make me want things I have never wanted before, okay? I love you so, so much, and seeing how good you are with literally any kid, how you light up when you’re around them, makes me feel things I didn’t know I was capable of feeling. 

“Oh, baby, I love you, too,” 

[likeshootingstarsinthenightsky]

Party Meetings (Tyson Jost)

Thank you to the lovely anon who requested this, and to the equally as lovely @going-full-shmoo for helping me out with this!

Can I request something with Tyson Jost where you meet him at a party one of his teammates throws during the off season?

Hope y’all enjoy this!

Making your way through the sea of people you finally make your way into the kitchen, there, you see the person you’ve been looking for the past ten minutes for.

“Matt Nieto!” You whisper yell. Matt turns to you, and the sheepish look on his face almost makes you want to bite back the words you’re about to say. Almost.

“Oh hey, (Y/N)! You came!” Matt says as he draws you in for a hug. You let yourself relax into his hug, until you realize why you were looking for him in the first place.

“I thought this was going to be a small get together?” You ask pulling away from him. Matt’s face softens at your question.

“It started small,” you roll your eyes at his words. “Besides, it’s the last time all of us will be in Colorado until the season starts.” At Matt’s words, your shoulders sag a little, which is met with a small smile from Matt.

“I know you’re not a fan of big parties, (Y/N).” Matt says, “but you know Gabe wouldn’t invite you if he thought you’d be uncomfortable.”

“Yes, but-“

“And I’m here,” he says, giving your hand a quick squeeze, “if things get too crazy for you, just tell me and I’ll take you back to your hotel.”

You let out a huff of air, before nodding your head. “The moment I feel like leaving, I’m finding you.” Matt gives you a smile and the two of you make your way from the kitchen. Matt is then pulled into a conversation with Colin, and you see Joonas and Devin, so you decided to talk to the other former Shark in the room. Just as Devin was telling you about some of the wedding planning they’ve been doing, an arm pulls you into a hug.

“(Y/N)!” You look to see a slightly drunk EJ with a mischievous grin on his face. “Do you guys mind if I take this one off your hands for a moment?” You gave Devin a look that said no, but she told EJ they didn’t mind.

Before EJ could take you away, you whispered to Devin, “you were supposed to say no.” She laughs at you before she tells you that it will be okay.

EJ doesn’t take you too far away from Joonas and Devin, but enough so that there was a bit of privacy. As you wait to hear what EJ has to say, you feel a pit in your stomach at the look on his face. He was up to something.

“A little birdie told me that there’s someone here who’s been glancing at you.” You roll your eyes at EJ.

“And who’s the little birdie?” EJ just grins, and you know he’s not going to tell you. “EJ! Please?” You ask once more. EJ just shakes his head, and gives you a wink, before walking away. You look over to Devin and she gives you a concerned look. Making your way back to her, you tell her that you just need to get some air.

Walking into the backyard, you’re glad that there’s not so many people out here. Sitting on one of the chairs, you take a moment before you make your way back into the party.

“Uh, I don’t think I’ve seen you here before?” You turn jump a little, startled by the sudden person standing in front of you. The first thing you see is the curly hair, and the smile on his face.

“Um, I’m friends with Matt and Joonas.” You say, extending you hand, you introduce yourself. “I’m (Y/N).”

“Tyson.” He says shaking your hand. “Do you mind if I sit next to you?” You shake your head no, and he sits down next to you. “Sorry for scaring you, (Y/N).”

“It’s alright.” You offer him a smile, and he smiles right back.

“So, how do you know them?” Tyson asks.

“Oh, I’ve known Matt for years, he’s basically my older brother, and Joonas I met while Matt was playing for the Sharks.”

“Oh, cool. Do you work for the Sharks?” He asks curiously.

“No,” you say, “I know most of the players though. I’m a kindergarten teacher.”

“Kindergarten! That’s awesome! You probably have a lot of funny stories about kids.” Tyson says.

“I do! There are times that they make me want to pull my hair out, but overall, I wouldn’t trade my job for anything else.”

“That kinda sounds like dealing with hockey players.” Tyson says, a smile on his face. You laugh at the comparison.

“You know,” you say, pretending to think about it, “you’re right, hockey players sometimes act like kindergartners.” The two of you stare at each other for a moment, before both of you break into laughter.

Before you know it, the sky had turned dark, signaling that the two of you have been outside longer than expected. You see Tyson glance at the time on his phone.

“Wow, we’ve been out here for a while.” He says, but from the smile on his face, you could tell that he had a great time talking with you. Before you could say anything, you hear another voice.

“Oh, so this is where you’ve been.” The two of turn around to see Matt standing a few feet away.

“Hi Matt.” You say, “did you need something?” And he gives you a knowing smile.

“People are starting to leave, and I wanted to know if you needed a ride back to your hotel?” You’re about to answer him when Tyson answers before you.

“No!” Both you and Matt turn to him, you think you see a faint blush creep onto his face, “uh, I can drive (Y/N), that is, if she wants me to?” Tyson then looks at you, one of his hands moving to rub the back of his neck.

You look between both men, Tyson’s face showing a hit of nervousness, but when he sees you looking at him, he gives you a small smile. Looking at Matt, you see him give you a knowing look, most likely knowing who you were going to get a ride from.

“I, uh,” you stammer, “Tyson can take me back?” Your statement comes out more like a question than a statement. Tyson’s eyes widen in shock, but he recovers quickly and nods his head.

“Don’t worry Matt, I’ll make sure to get her back safely.” He says. You get up from your seat and make your way to Matt.

“I’ll be fine Matt,” you say while giving Matt a hug. Before you could go back to sitting next to Tyson, Matt whispers something into your ear.

“Tyson’s a great guy, you should give him a chance.” You blush at Matt’s works, before he leaves the two of you alone, you see him wink at you.

“Have fun you two! Her curfew is midnight!” He says as he makes his way back inside.

“Matt!” You yell, before you look to see Tyson laughing at his words.

“So, is your curfew really midnight?” Tyson teases, “because if it is, I don’t have that much time to take you back to your hotel.”

“No.” You say offering him a smile. Tyson gets up from the chair, and offers you his hand, you gladly take it.

“So then, where to?” Tyson asks you. You tell him the hotel you were staying at, and the two of you make your way back inside.

As the two of you make your way towards the front door, you see EJ send the two of you a wink, and Gabe tells the two of you to be safe. Both of you blushing at the two of them. Gabe and EJ just laugh at the two of you.

The drive back to the hotel is filled with more talking, Tyson with his plans for the off season, and what you were hoping to do during the summer before the next school year starts. Both of you get quiet as the two of you see your hotel coming closer into sight. Once he parks his car he turns to you.

“Well,” you sigh, “this is my stop. Thanks for the ride Tyson, I had a lot of fun tonight.” He smiles at you.

“I had a lot of fun too, (Y/N).” The two of you go quiet, and you take that as your chance to get out of the car. You whisper good night to Tyson, before you make your way towards the lobby of the hotel.

Before you get very far, you hear your name being yelled from Tyson’s car. Once Tyson sees that he has your attention, he asks, “will I see you again?”

You smile, and say, “I’m free tomorrow.”

“So I’ll pick you up at 9 in the morning?” Tyson asks hopefully.

“Sure.” And you get the brightest smile you’ve ever seen from him, “I’ll see you tomorrow morning.”

The two of you had an amazing time together that day. Soon the two of you were making plans to see each other during the off season. By the time training camp came around, the two of you decided to make your relationship official, on social media. The two of you used the same picture- both of you in front of the Haunted Mansion.

@josty17: the best person to wait in long lines with

@yourusername: my favorite place with my favorite person

[iamnmbr3]

Quarantine Rec List Part 2

Figure we could all use a laugh so for part 2 I’ve pulled together some of my favorite funny fics. I’ve done a few picks for symbrock, kylux, stucky, and drarry. Enjoy. :)  

Venom (Symbrock)

The Search for Shmoo by zuzeca (complete | 7,067 | E ) 

In which Eddie finds himself unprepared for the realities of Klyntar sexuality, and Venom considers the potential merits of Viagra.

Real Life Has No Manager by susieboo (complete | 3,372 | G )

Look, Colin doesn't mind weirdos. Not as long as they pay for their groceries, anyway. But sometimes... sometimes, you see something and you just have to draw a line in the fucking sand.

[Ten vignettes about a cashier who witnesses Symbrock and their usual bullshit, because Eddie must seem like a real weirdo to anyone who doesn't know about the Symbiote. Oneshot. Humor.]

Star Wars (Kylux)

Workplace Romance by liesmyth (complete | 5,728 | M )

“Kylo Ren,” Leia says, resolutely. “Absolutely does not have a trifurcate dick. Trust me on this.”

In which everyone on board the Finalizer hate-ships Hux and Ren - and Ren's mysterious, probably prehensile, alien dick. Hard.

You're Awful by zamwessell (complete | 2,352 | G )

“Why are you trying to inspire them with speeches?” Ren asks. “I thought they were programmed from birth to obey.” “And why would I take any advice from you, Mr. I-Inexplicably-Have-A-Black-Bucket-Over-My-Head?” “Careful.” “I’m sorry, Darth I-Inexplicably-Have-A-Black-Bucket-Over-My-Head.”

General Hux and Kylo Ren hate working together. For different reasons.

Through A Cat's Eyes by Sath (complete | 2,034 | T )

Millicent the cat, as the most important person in Hux's life, relates all that really matters about Hux and that horrible interloper, Kylo Ren.

Harry Potter (Drarry)

Slammed by Faith Wood (faithwood) (complete | 2,038 | G )

Potter develops a worrying habit of randomly wall-slamming Draco all over the castle.

MCU (Stucky)

Tinfoil Hat (or Bucky Barnes Vs. The Pigeon Uprising by GoodbyBlues (complete | 3,733 | T )

Based on the Tumblr prompt 'I went to water my plants on the balcony and you're on yours with a tinfoil hat, what the hell are you doing?'

buachaill sciobail by silentwalrus (complete | 5,271 ) 

“Okay,” Sam says. “Okay. Alright. O-kay. I just, I gotta say, man, when you told me ‘Bucky is a selkie’ this is not... really…. what I... imagined.” “What did you imagine?” Steve says. Across his lap - or rather covering his entire body from the waist down - the eight hundred pound tube of blubber that is J.B. Barnes blows a snot bubble.

Things the men of the Howling Commandos are no longer allowed to do in the SSR by Odsbodkins (complete | 769 | G )

The Captain America: The First America version of Skippy's list - Things the men of the Howling Commandos are no longer allowed to do in the SSR.

Part 1

[alyjojo]

Ten years ago, I really didn’t want to be induced. It was my first baby, and I was scheduled for the day after Mother’s Day (her due date). I spent that whole day prior walking the entire zoo with my own mom, trying to get her to come. I spent that whole night crying because in the morning, they’d force her.

So the night after Mother’s Day, under a full Scorpio moon, my Mother’s Day baby was here, head absolutely covered in dark brown hair and big brown doe baby eyes ❤️ Everything went perfectly fine and I learned a lesson as a very naive girl, to never let doctors tell me what to do with my baby ever again.

I didn’t see a doctor with my 2nd baby until I was almost 6 months pregnant, because I couldn’t get the insurance issue worked out. So we got married. No regrets 😊 And because it had been so long, doctors couldn’t legally even give my Shmoo a set due date to try to sell me on induction (much to my doctors dismay). We were all very (purposefully) cloudy with information, except for me, and my Pisces moon baby came on a Sunday morning all by herself. That Mother’s Day, I had two little girls 💕

My son was an enigma. Things were not very good at that time...later his birth chart would read that hard conditions were necessary for him to come into the world (which made me feel better...some).

I had a period the same month I was pregnant with him. In the beginning of the month, I bled, and at the end of it I guess I got pregnant. I spotted the next month, but pretty regularly, which I also assumed was just a light period. Month three I took a test and...went to the doctor. They gave me a Christmas Day due date, I got mad, called the lady a liar, and switched doctors 😆

I thought there was no way it could be Christmas when I had it at Feb., they’re trying to force him out.

Next doctor said Christmas, I was wrong. On Christmas Day, he was very patient through the girls present opening and his fiery Aries moon was born very quickly Christmas night. When it was on, it was on. Scarily fast. They had me on meds to slow him down while hubby took girls to gmas. 4 hour labor, probably could’ve been 2. The doctor delivering was a man, and him & hubby had jokes the whole time 😒

That Mother’s Day was extra special, I had a little BOY now 💙💙💙💙💙

I was always meant to be a mother and didn’t know it, even if I really did. The first time I ever saw Monsters Inc, I was maybe 13ish, and I said out loud to someone (idk who) “my little girl is gonna look just like that”. And when I played a video game years later, with a sweet little brown farm girl, I said “and that’s her name”. And I just knew that. And she is 😊

When I met my sister in laws step-son, a brown baby Christmas Eve boy who is so much handful and so stinkin sweet that you don’t even mind the madness...I said to my husband, my son will be just like that someday. He just laughed and said yeah he’s cute isn’t he 😆

When Shmoo was in my belly I just got all warm and fuzzy and said “this baby looks just like her Daddy”, even though we had no way of knowing. She does. And I covered her room in pretty fish and mermaids. She was the biggest surprise, I never thought I could have two girls. I never thought I could have any heh.

Before I met my husband, my teen years were filled with six month intervals I had to go to the doctor to force my body to bleed. I dated the same guy throughout those years. I had a false positive which scared him off like a...anyway, it was meant to be. The day it was over I broke down...and bled, all on my own. And it never stopped again.

When I met my husband, we had a full year of no protection and nothing happened. I was hot to move out and get my own place, and he was like sure...and came with. That first time in our new place. Hello baby. Moved a year later. First time in our new place, hello baby 2. It’s a theme 😆

Idk what time wasting bill paying job I’m “destined” for. I like to sing and write. Any job I ever did have I only had because a friend or a guy I liked worked there. 100%. The only thing that ever seemed destined was that I was destined to be their mama.

*cue Forrest Gump feather*

[buzzdixonwriter]

Hoo Noo Shmoo?

Never let it be said that this blog is flagging in its enthusiasm for flogging horses so dead they’re found in the glue bin at Office Max.

To whit, the Scorsese vs MCU brouhaha.

Bottom line: Scorsese is right.  As well made as MCU movies are, they ain’t cinema, they’re glorified commercials to sell MCU product.

Full disclosure: I should know, since I wrote for G.I. Joe, Transformers, and a host of other toy-based syndicated animation shows.  I’m happy with the work I did, I can point proudly to specific episodes I wrote that aspire to be more than mere half-hour commercials…

…but they ain’t art.

They ain’t art, despite our aspirations to do the best job we could, because ultimately we creators were not allowed to create what we felt best for our stories, but what Hasbro deemed vital to their sales.

(The closest we got to art was when Hasbro cancelled The Inhumanoids toy line in mid-production of the TV series, and said we could finish our broadcast commitment however we saw fit so long as it didn’t result in an FCC complaint.  As a result, we went nuts.)

My Hasbro / Sunbow experience remains a highpoint of my creative life, so I’m not denigrating the talent, skill, ability, spirit, and enthusiasm of those making MCU movies.

…but they ain’t art.

Now, those who love MCU movies think Scorsese’s comments are a slam against them.

Welllll…no, not directly.

But they do underscore how popularity -- especially of media designed to push product -- is a faulty measuring stick for artistic merit.

Case in point: The Shmoo.

Wuzza shmoo, you ask (and thus proving my point)?

Shmoos were extremely popular in the late 1940s.  Part of the wonderfully wacky world cartoonist Al Capp created for his hit Li’l Abner comic strip, shmoos represented a parable on American consumerism, modern day geese laying not mere golden eggs but birthday cakes with candles a’blazin’.

As Capp described them:

They reproduce asexually and are incredibly prolific, multiplying faster than rabbits. They require no sustenance other than air.

Shmoos are delicious to eat, and are eager to be eaten. If a human looks at one hungrily, it will happily immolate itself -- either by jumping into a frying pan, after which they taste like chicken, or into a broiling pan, after which they taste like steak. When roasted they taste like pork, and when baked they taste like catfish. Raw, they taste like oysters on the half-shell.

They also produce eggs (neatly packaged), milk (bottled, grade-A), and butter -- no churning required. Their pelts make perfect boot leather or house timbers, depending on how thick one slices them.

They have no bones, so there's absolutely no waste. Their eyes make the best suspender buttons, and their whiskers make perfect toothpicks. In short, they are simply the perfect ideal of a subsistence agricultural herd animal.

Naturally gentle, they require minimal care and are ideal playmates for young children. The frolicking of shmoos is so entertaining (such as their staged "shmoosical comedies") that people no longer feel the need to watch television or go to the movies.

Some of the more tasty varieties of shmoo are more difficult to catch, however. Usually shmoo hunters, now a sport in some parts of the country, use a paper bag, flashlight, and stick to capture their shmoos. At night the light stuns them, then they may be whacked in the head with the stick and put in the bag for frying up later on.

Of course, in the original strip continuity, the shmoos were quickly eradicated, driven to extinction by food packagers who feared bankruptcy.

It was a sharp, biting message, and one that looked critically at both insatiable consumerism and capitalism’s claims of superiority.

Capp, of course, was too savvy a marketeer himself to eliminate the shmoos entirely, and so he provided for one breeding pair to survive…and for the shmoos to make repeated appearances for the rest of Li’l Abner’s run.

Shmoo mania ran rampant with shmoo dolls, shmoo clocks, shmoo games, shmoo candy, shmoo snacks, and shmoo apparel.  

The money truck basically backed up to Capp’s front door and dumped its load on his porch.  Shmoos proved insanely popular and it seemed the mania would never end…

…except it did.

To mangle metaphors, you can only take so many trips to the same well before your audience starts asking “What?  Beans again?”

And then, in a fickle flash, it’s over.

I’d be hard pressed today to find anyone younger than the boomer cohort who ever heard of Al Capp or Li’l Abner unless their school or community theatre presented the Broadway musical adaptation of the strip (the show remains popular with amateur theatrical troupes such as high schools and colleges because the huge cast of Dogpatch citizens guarantees everybody who tries out for the show will land some part in it).

For all their popularity and merchandise and media impact -- songs on the radio, big spreads in weekly news magazines -- the shmoos left virtually no cultural footprint.

(Full disclosure yet again: I wrote for a Scooby-doo knock-off by Hanna-Barbera called The New Shmoo and it was a piece of crap, abandoning the whole consumerism point of the original shmoos and making them -- or just “it” in our case -- a pseudo-funny dog sidekick for a squad of mystery solving kids.  And it wasn’t a piece of crap because we didn’t try our best, it was a piece of crap because the shmoo was treated as ubiquitous “product” under the misconception that of course everybody younger than Joe Barbera would recognize the name and love the character so deeply that they’d simultaneously develop amnesia about what made the original character so appealing.)

Product.

That’s what one of the most brilliant, most poignant, most spot-on commentaries on rampant consumerism and ruthless capitalism ironically reduced down to.  Product.

There’s a line in Jurassic Park that resonates here:  ”Life will find a way.”

Let’s paraphrase that to “Art will find a way” because like life, art is an expression of the creative urge.

Right now, by and large, it’s trapped in the giant all encompassing condom of corporate consumerism, providing fun and pleasure and excitement, but not really creating anything new, to be wadded up and thrown away when the suits are done screwing us.

But every now and then there’s a tiny pinprick in the sheath, and when that happens there’s the chance of something wonderful, something meaningful, something of lasting value emerging.

It is possible for art to emerge from a corporate context, but only if the corporate intent is to produce a work of art for its own purposes.   Michelangelo carved David as a work for hire, the local doge commissioning the sculpture because he wanted to impress peers and peasants by donating the biggest statue ever made by the hottest artist of the era (and even then Michelangelo needed to resort to subterfuge to keep the doge from “improving” on his work with “suggestions” [read “commands”].)

The very first Rocky movie was a work of art because the producers focused on telling a simple, singular story about a loser who could only win by going the distance, not by defeating his opponent but by refusing to be beaten by him.

It’s a great cinematic moment that rings true and it’s going to last forever…unlike sequels Rocky II - V where Rocky fights supervillains like Mr. T and a robot (hey, that was the movie playing in my head when I watched Rocky IV and it was a helluva lot more entertaining than what I actually saw onscreen).

The suits castrated Rocky, reducing him from a unique universal cultural touchstone down to…well…product.

The MCU movies are product; rather, they are two-hour+ commercials to sell product in the form of videogames, action figures, T-shirts, and Underoos.

The real art occurred almost 60 years ago when Jack Kirby and Steve Ditko knocked out page after page as fast as they could, drawing deep from the wellsprings of their own interests, experiences, and passions.

(“What about Stan?” I hear you ask.  Look, we all love Stan, but truth be told his great contribution to the MCU came in his service as drum major for the Merry Marvel marching Society.  God bless him for firing up the fan base’s enthusiasm for the Marvel bullpen’s work, but compare what his artists did before and after their collaboration with him to what he did before and after his editorial tenure at Marvel and it’s clear upon whose shoulders the muses rested.)

As much fun as MCU movies are (I’ve seen about 1/3 of ‘em and enjoyed most of what I saw), I also recognize in them the harm they do.

They are promoted heavily to sell product to raise the fortunes of one of the biggest corporations on the planet, a corporation that holds control over five of the largest, most popular entertainment brands on the market.

To protect their cash cows, Disney chokes potential rivals in their cribs.

Think there’s going to be another Alien or Predator movie now that Disney owns them and Star Wars?  Why create rivals to a mega-successful property you already own?  (I will be genuinely surprised if we see another Guardians Of The Galaxy movie in light of the faltering popularity of Star Wars in Disney’s eyes; they’re going to want to shore up their billion dollar investment rather than call it a day and let some upstart -- even an upstart they own 100% -- rob them of revenue.)

Disney’s battle plan to choke out all potential rivals leaves no room in the DEU (Disney Expanded Universe) for independent minded creators.

They want competent hired pens who can churn out the product they desire in order to bolster sales of other products derived from those.

(Even more full disclosure:  I wrote for Chip ‘n’ Dale’s Rescue Rangers as well as some Aladdin and Scrooge McDuck comic book stories.)

Disney’s MCU, for all its expertly executed whiz-bang, is a bloated, soulless zombie, a giant gaudy inflated parade balloon blocking the vision of others.

There’s a scene in the movie The Founder -- a genuine cinematic work of art that comments ironically on the selling of a product --  that applies here.

Ray Kroc (Michael Keaton) relentlessly browbeats the McDonald brothers (Nick Offerman and John Carroll Lynch) into letting him replace their real milkshakes with what will come to be known as the McShake, an ersatz product that at best reminds one of what a real milkshake should taste like.

The McDonald Brothers are horrified.  Not only does it not taste like a real milkshake, but it goes against the very grain of what they desire as restauranteurs:  To provide quality food quickly for their customers, trading value for value.

Kroc will have none of this.  To him the customers are simply one more obstacle between him and their money.

He doesn’t see them as the source of his revenue, but as impediments to same.

What benefits them, what nurtures their diets, what gives them pleasure, what trades value for value is completely unimportant to him.

They exist only to make him rich and powerful.

By the end of the film, Kroc has effectively declared war on his own partners, his own employees, his own customers.  He recognizes he is not in the business his customers and employees and partners think he’s in (i.e., fast food) but rather in the real estate business, buying land that McDonald’s franchises must lease from him in order to operate.

By the end, he’s not concerned with how well his customers eat, or how well his employees are treated, or how financially secure his franchise managers feel.

By the end, all he wants is the money, and he doesn’t care how his franchises make it so long as they pass it along to him.

As a result, McDonald’s contributes heavily to America’s obesity and diabetes epidemics, advising their employees to take second jobs so they can afford to continue working for them at substandard wages.

Disney’s MCU is a super-sized Happy Meal™ that’s ruining the cultural health of its consumers.

   © Buzz Dixon

[honeyedoll]

1-44 Suffer :D

Will do :p

1. Any scars?

Yes

2. Self harmed?

Yes. Those make up half the scars, and the other half is general life stuff and childhood.

3. Crush?

My bf who’s a super cutie

4. Kissed anyone?

Bf, Mom, a friend or two, sometimes a couple of the guys at the gym I work at will give me a kiss on the cheek when they leave. They’re sweet :)

5. Coke or Pepsi?

I don’t do soda, I think the last time I had any for real I was in middle school. For the sake of this I’ll say Pepsi. However, I do have birch beer soda once or twice a summer (after shaking most of the carbonation out of it) and that is my favorite soda.

6. Someone you hate?

There’s no one I truly hate in this world except for the pervert who keeps calling me and trying to involve me in his sexual fantasies while I’m at work (over the work line, he doesn’t have my number thankfully).

7. Best friends?

My bf, and two wonderful women from my school days who I’m thankfully still friends with :)

8. Have you ever done alcohol or drugs?

I have a medical condition that prevents me from ingesting any stimulants or depressants without a doctor’s supervision, otherwise I’m prone to fainting/erratic heart rate/fatigue. I did once accidentally take too much DayQuil, and boy was that a terrible ride.

9. What’s your dream job?

Housewife and mother, but other than that I’m working towards becoming a pediatric nurse, preferably in a doctor’s office rather than a hospital, but we’ll see.

10. Ever been in love?

Yes, right now, it feels great!

11. Last time you cried?

Yesterday

12. Favorite color?

Soft pinks

13. Height?

5’8.75” or 174.5cm

14. Birthday?

2/19, so very soon :)

15. Eye color?

Green

16. Hair color?

Medium brown

17. What do you love?

Stuffed animals and video games

18. Obsession?

Fire Emblem and human physiology

19. If you had one wish what would it be?

For my boyfriend to find a job he loves doing, can grow in, and that he feels a sense of accomplishment in doing.

20. Do you love someone?

My boyfriend, very much. I’d like to marry him someday.

21. Kiss or hug?

Hugs are warm.

22. Nicknames people call you?

My parents call me shmoo and bf calls me pumpkin

23. Favorite son?

Remember the Time by Michael Jackson

24. Favorite band?

Ghost (and my favorite song by Ghost is Square Hammer)

25. Worst thing that has ever happened to you?

Being kicked out of my childhood home and living next to drug dealers, or my chronic illness.

26. Best thing that has ever happened to you?

Meeting my boyfriend

27. Something you would change about yourself?

I would make my chronic illness go away

28. Ever dated someone?

I think we can assume the answer to this one

29. Worst mistake?

The poor ways I allowed my anxiety to manifest while I was in high school

30. Watch the movie or read the book?

Either

31. Ever had a heartbreak?

Minor childhood ones, but the only person I’ve ever dated is my boyfriend

32. Favorite show?

My Hero Academia or Miss Kobayashi’s Dragon Maid

33. Best day of your life?

I don’t think that day has happened yet. So far I think the best day was meeting my boyfriend.

34. Any talents?

I’m good at writing poetry, and workshopping/editing drafts of all sorts of writing. Idk what else I’d say.

35. Do you wish you could ever start over?

If the bad things that happened didn’t happen I wouldn’t have met my bf and I wouldn’t be where I am now, and I love where I am now and where I’m heading. I do wish I could be in this place in my life without those bad things, but I’m okay, and I can’t change any of that.

36. Any bad habits?

Not folding my laundry

37. Ever had a near death experience?

I had gallstones so bad my gallbladder became gangrenous and gave me pancreatitis that persisted for a year that we didn’t know about and nearly killed me. I have no gallbladder any longer.

38. Someone I can tell anything to?

My therapist and my bf

39. Ever lost a loved one?

Not yet thankfully

40. Do you believe in love?

Absolutely

41. Someone you hate/dislike?

I did hate earlier, so I’ll do dislike. I dislike the woman who’s a member at the gym I work at who continuously is mad at us that she doesn’t have enough money in her account to pay her membership each month.

42. Are you okay?

Right now? Yes

43. Relationship status?

Very much unavailable, hopefully engaged soon

44. Selfie?

There you go :)

[franzanth]

"The bullet was stopped inside the shmoo's body," said Anne. "But it didn't hit a bone. This thing doesn't seem to have any. And this steaming discharge. Nothing alive could be that hot. Not while it was alive. But when it was pierced by the bullet… the way its body flopped when Daisuke moved it…press into its side again, Dice."

She winked at Daisuke and his heart flopped over.

"Look at that," said Anne, prodding the shmoo. "Look how it sloshes around? Several layers with blood and viscera between. Not a tube-within-a-tube like us but…bags-within-bags?"

Daisuke summarized for the camera: "So this creature is like several water-balloons, one inside the other." He looked down at his steaming boot. "All filled with acid?"

"Can't be," said Anne. "There's only acid in this outer-most layer, the one under the skin. The reservoir of sulfuric acid is sandwiched between what must be some very tough barriers."

"So how does this thing hunt?" asked Daisuke.

"Probably with these." Anne pointed at a transparent, centimeter-long spine, one of hundreds that dotted the creature's tough skin like the quills of a porcupine. "Let me…Dice, you got a pair of pliers on you?"

As it happened, Daisuke did. He plucked his multi-tool from his utility belt and passed it to Anne. Her warm fingers brushed across his.

"Don't want to touch this thing with bare skin," she muttered, clamping the pliers to the tip of the spine and pulling. The spine slid a good five centimeters from the shmoo's body before it stuck.

"Hm," said Anne. "These spines go all the way to the core of animal. I bet they're for sucking up the juice of the prey animal. The shmoo doesn't even have to inject digestive enzymes like a spider. All it has to do is pierce the inner layer that protects a glasslands animal from its own acid."

"As I did, when I shot it?" asked Hariyadi.

"But the bullet didn't go all the way through," said Anne. "It pierced the outer layer, the inner one, the gooey center of the animal, but got lodged here," she prodded a black lump in the rapidly deflating mess. "Against the other side of the inner layer on its way out."

"Damn, that thing must be tough on the inside," said Pearson.

"It would have to be, to defend against exactly the sort of attack it uses on its prey." Anne scooted around the shmoo. "Where are those eyes? I can't seem to find them."

"It seems a fragile existence," said Hariyadi. "A walking chemical reaction." "You've just described yourself," said Anne. "Ever see someone with a gut wound? Same problem."

Daisuke heard a sharp intake of breath and realized that maybe Hariyadi had seen a gut wound digest a man from the inside out. Perhaps the dear colonel had caused one.

"Ah," said Anne, "there the eyes are. Interesting."

"Interesting?" Daisuke prompted.

"I can feel the lenses inside," said Anne, prodding the sagging body with plier nose of the multi-tool. "They're imbedded in the tough, inner membrane. But how do they see out through the outer skin?" She brushed the tool around the glass spines at one end of the oblong body, smoothing them into a swirling circle like the petals of a chrysanthemum. "Shine your light here. At this angle." 

The chrysanthemum petals blazed suddenly with blue light. As Anne poked them, the light flicked to green, then red.

"Right," she said. "These spines aren't just transparent. They can conduct light all the way through the outer skin. The animal can even tune its visual system by slight adjustments to the angles of these…what…optical spines?"

"Like…" Daisuke's brow furrowed as he worked on a way to dumb that down.

"Uh…a periscope? Eye glasses?"

"Like a weird alien eyeball made of millions of tiny prisms floating in acid," said Anne. "That's what it's like. She pushed off her knees and looked up at Hariyadi. "These things are going to be a problem."

—

Text and creature from Junction by Daniel M. Bensen / @danbensen, available in March 2019 from in print and ebook from Flame Tree Publishing.

—

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[ezilyamuzed]

There’s no place like home- part 12

Summary: The reader has had a unique gift all her life. While considering it a curse, she discovers the identity of her real father after her mothers passing. Journeying towards her new life, she finds herself thrown within the Winchester’s world. Is it her destiny?

Setting: End of season 13. This takes place after episode 13.18. Flashbacks are italicized.

Warnings: Language. Some angst, fluff, drama- a typically SPN episode.  POV may switch after certain sections.

A/N: Big reveal within this part of the story that has been long awaited. The story continues on as the reader discovers what home really means. Sorry it has taken so long. I wish I could give this the attention it deserves , but life happens. 

Any grammatical mistakes are all my own, because I am human. Remember all comments and feedback are welcomed! If you want a tag in future posts regarding this series or other writings please send an ask! As always thank you for reading! Enjoy!  

*Y/M/N= your mom’s name

Series Masterlist

Laying your head on the simple cloth covered pillow, you knew sleep would not come easily. Dipping your face further into the cotton, that familiar smell ignited your senses. Dean. Like a memory from a dream, the familiar scent that was all him only made your heart beat faster as you breathed it in. The ache you felt inside only grew stronger as the thoughts of the unknown plagued your mind. In just a month, you had quickly found the world you had thought you had known, was intertwined with theirs. Surely nothing good would come of this. With every new twist and turn, the nightmare you had kept a secret was now growing stronger. You were a monster. 

Reaching towards the old photographs that laid on the nightstand next to you, you allowed your eyes to document them deep into your memory. The smiling face of Dean with his mother’s arms wrapped around him provided a little relief that at least within the Winchester’s world there was love to be found. Moving to the other photo, the one of your father standing proudly with the two boys that have changed your world, you felt a tiny drop of a tear falling down your face. This was a family, one that you would never know. 

The small tears continued to fall from your eyes while the thoughts of what might have been came to your mind. Their lives were far from simple or perfect. It was definitely not like the Home and Gardens lifestyle that you had grown up in, but it was theirs. The simplicity of surviving and striving for the good of all mankind was the life you had often admired from your encounters with other hunters. They did not care about the Gucci bags, pushing your way forward in a prestigious career, or having the perfectly maintained white picket fenced house. They just wanted to protect their loved ones, while saving others in the process. 

Letting out a deep breath you sat yourself up, wiping the wetness from your face. Dean’s room was like a living museum of his life. The weapons hanging on the wall all primed to use at a moments notice, told you that he often never allowed himself to rest. That was definitely something that you had in common. Nights where you obtained more than 6 hours were a strange luxury that most likely meant that you had been drugged or knocked unconscious. The meticulously alphabetically organized albums in the milk crate made you smile, that like you he desired for their to be some sort of order in his life. The few casual and dress shirts amongst a couple of suits told the story of his adventures. There was a little blood stain on one of the sleeves, perhaps his own and old dirt markings on the cuffs of his pants. Although there was no designer labels along any of them, they all represented the care that he took in himself, and the pride he had in his appearance. Most often hunter’s looked like grungy, tired old men who had recently woke up in the middle of the woods, so there was appreciation that he took the time to take care of himself in the midst of it all.

You moved around the room, not finding sleep but intrigue in who Dean Winchester really was. Opening a wooden box on his dresser you let out a laugh at the Busty Asian Beauties magazines also neatly organized. For porn magazines, they were actually very well maintained and not worn out along the pages. He was actually gentle with them, definitely not how you were with him a few nights ago back in Sioux Falls. The memory of that night sent a shudder throughout your body, almost like your nerves were screaming to do it again. It couldn’t happen again, you had already decided. With everything going on, it was not just about the two of you anymore, there was something more goin on around you that you could not and would not allow a silly crush to interfere with.

Giving up on the thought of sleep you made your way out the door to the long hall. Glancing down both ends to your sides you wondered which way you should go. You closed your eyes tightly, listening for the sounds of the residents and their pet angel. Hearing muffled sounds coming from the area that you had first arrived at, of what you assumed to be the library, you followed as they continued. You had almost made your way into the room to be seen when you heard Castiel talking a little louder, specifically about you. You kept your back against the door frame as you heard them continue, awaiting for when you should enter.

“We do not have time dealing with some girls family drama,” Castiel spoke with command in his voice.

“Cas, it’s not like we have any other leads right now,” Dean interjected. “We will find a way to get Gabriel to help and we will bring Jack and mom back. We are stuck now, so we just have to keep moving. It’s not like there is some way to just magically fix all of this crap.”

“Locating the grace of an archangel should be your only concern,” Castiel growled before you could hear the sigh in his voice. “Dean, I understand that you have feelings for this...girl, but we do not know what she is.”

“What do you mean? What she is?” Dean exclaimed.

“She is not like anything I have ever encountered before,” Castiel stated calmly. “I do not know if she poses as a threat to our current predicament. Perhaps she has only arrived here now as a part of a grand scheme from one of your enemies. You must be careful.”

“Look Cas, I was with Dean when we met her,” Sam spoke up. “I believe everything that she has told us so far. I mean, yeah it's weird that she is connected to us in so many ways, but if you could only see the sincerity in her eyes, the anger in her voice… Cas, she I think she genuinely just wants our help.”

“And what about finding Gabriel?”

“Well, actually it seems that Y/N, has had some history with him,” Sam answered. “Outside, I happened to mention him, but she didn’t really say much about him before Dean came out.”

“You believe that she is able to contact him and bring him back?” Castiel inquired in perplexment.

The question moved you from your hiding spot, to met the wide eyes of the Winchesters, gulping hard in anxiety about what you had possibly heard.

“Calling Gabriel doesn’t work, he never answers,” you said while moving to sit on the edge of the wooden desk. “At least he hasn’t for a very long time.”

“How do you know of the archangel Gabriel?” Castiel demanded, staring at you intently for the answer.

“Well that is a long story,” you replied while shifting your eyes to the brothers settling themselves down to listen to your story. “When I was a little girl he came to me. It was around the time when I really started questioning things around myself...what I was seeing. He is the one who taught me what everything was and also what to do to with it.”

“You see him over there?” Gabriel stated while pointing towards a man with a greenish tinted light. “He’s a ghoul. They take on the form whatever human they last consumed.”

“So how do I kill it?” your twelve year old self inquired, while standing a little taller.

He smiled at your enthusiasm and shook his head. “Take off the head and you take out the monster.”

“Well what are we waiting for?”

“Hold on there little warrior,” he laughed while grabbing your arm. “You can’t just go around chopping off people's heads all willy-nilly”

“He’s not a person, you just said so yourself,” you bickered in response.

“Not everything that looks like a monster is one, and not everything that looks like a regular Joe Shmoo should be trusted. It was all in the big guy’s plan. You know the whole idea of free will? Everything has it, it was what you choose to do with it that makes you a monster.”

“So Gabriel was your Yoda?” Dean asked with a smirk.

“Basically. He would show up every once in awhile without really any reasoning behind his visits but to give me another lesson into the world of the supernatural.”

“When was the last time you saw him?” Sam spoke up.

“Like, maybe 11 years ago I think?” you replied while trying to remember back to that time. “He was really off, definitely not the same that he had been.”

“You have been busy lately,” you heard the familiar voice say from behind you. Turning your head to see the grinning angel, you wiped the dirt from the fresh grave you had just dug off on your shirt.

“It’s not like these demons are going to stop anytime soon. Seems to be more and more of them lately.”

“Yeah, someone left the door open a little too long,” he shrugged nonchalantly. “So how are you doing kid?”

“Hanging in there I guess,” you rolled your eyes. “It’s been awhile since you have graced me with your presence, so what is up now?”

“Things are getting a little noisey from the family, something big is going to go down soon between the bags of dicks I call brothers.”

“Michael and Lucifer?” you asked with your voice a little more raised. “I thought he was in a cage?”

“He is, for now,” Gabriel replied while moving towards you.

“What do you mean? For now? Gabe, if Lucifer gets out someone has to stop him,” you exclaimed in panic. “We have to do something.”

“We will not being doing anything,” he said while pointing back and forth between the two of you. “Take my advice and go run away to Cabo and enjoy the beaches, better yet find a nuclear bomb shelter and hide there forever. When it’s all done, the world is not going to be as fluffy with rainbows and sparkles as it is now.”

“What the hell is your problem?” You fumed. “You are telling me that basically the apocalypse is going to happen and you want me to go run away? No I won’t listen to it.”

“You have no idea what my brothers are capable of,” he retorted giving you a hardened look.

“Do you have any idea what YOU are capable of?” You shot back. “You are an archangel that I have seen do some incredible things like nothing else. Why can’t you see what I see.”

He stared at you deadpanned, no change of light or emotion to be found.

“I think the lessons have now ended Y/N,” he replied in a monotone voice.

“Gabriel,” you sighed heavily. “Look I know family sucks, but you can’t just roll over and let this happen.”

“Goodbye Y/N,” he said with a snap of his fingers, never to be seen again.

“That was the last time I saw him,” you sighed while moving a loose strand of hair behind your ear. “I’ve tried calling him. Praying when things really got bad. Like when all the Angels fell years ago. I didn’t know…”

“He was not amongst them. Actually, he has been held captive by a Prince of Hell for quite some time,” Castiel informed you. You nodded your head to him, to show you understood.

“Yeah, well I’m sure whatever happened to him he deserved it,” You pursed your lips up. “Things just kept getting worse around here, and he just left without a care.”

“You said he used to answer you?” Sam asked with suspicion. “Why did he do that?”

“I really don’t know,” you shrugged. “I mean he had told me that I was something special, that there was no one like me. I guess for whatever reason I interested him.”

“Would…” Dean spoke up nervously, bringing your attention to him. “I mean, would you or do you think you could try again?”

“Make a phone call to save the world from impending doom? Sure, but I wouldn’t put all my nickels on it,” you nodded. “Like I said he didn’t care back then, so I doubt he will give a damn now.”

“Tell him it’s of grave importance,” Castiel chimed in. You have the angel a side glance before shutting them in prayer.

“Gabriel. It’s Y/N, we need to talk. There is a lot of shit going down right now, that only you can help with. I need you. Please Gabriel. Let me know you are at least listening.”

You fluttered you eyes open and looked around the room, hoping that your words might have been heard by him. Everything remained the same in its place, bringing a sigh of disappointment from all the occupants in the room.

“Try it again!” Castiel bellowed making your face turn to anger towards him.

“Cas, dude,” Dean interjected whole shaking his head. “He’s not listening to any of us. We will figure this out.”

Castiel stormed out of the room glaring at your direction. You kept your position, keeping your eyes back on him as he moved out. The sound of the chair next to you legs moving on the floor, turned your attention to Sam moving up from his seat.

“Okay, so we still have things we can be doing,” he said while leaning himself onto the table using his hands for balance. “I’m going to go grab some boxes.”

“This is a mistake,” you shook your head, making him stop in his tracks. “You two have more important things to do right now. Besides that, your little boyfriend doesn’t seem to like me or want me here.”

“Cas just has a lot going on right now,” Dean spoke up, looking to the empty doorway. “We will figure it out. We will figure this all out. Together. You’re family now Doc.”

The next 27 hours the three of you worked through every file in the ancient cardboard boxes. Going through the last entries of dead men who might have had a reasoning to who or what you were was exhausting. Dean would slip away only for a couple moments to provide fuel for your brains in the form of the best tasting hamburgers and coffee that you had ever had.

“You can cook?”

“I’m not just a pretty face,” he winked back before stuffing his face with the product of his labor.

You would laugh back at his little jokes while you continued in your search for answers. It seemed like you were on the quest for an item that didn’t exist. The truth. Castiel had made his way back after a few hours, and while he sat in silence going through his own pile, you would catch him staring at you out of the corner of his eyes.

“You know you would read faster if your eyes were on the pages Asstiel,” you blatantly would state.

A little chuckle would come from Sam and Dean to your comments towards the angel who was trying to find the answers on your face. He would mumble out an apology before going back to the files.

Tiredness was overcoming you when you felt like you had hit a dead end in your search. You tossed the folder down to you and laid your head into your arms on the table while closing your eyes.

“Why don’t you get some sleep?” Sam suggested. “We can keep going.”

“Sleep is for the weak,” you replied without moving your head up to him. “I’ll sleep long enough when I’m dead.”

“That will be sooner than later if you don’t stop beating yourself up,” Dean suggested, which made you raise your head slightly to glare at him. “Why don’t we all take a little break to recharge ourselves? Get back to it in a few hours?”

You let out a deep sigh and nodded. You didn’t want to stop, but you knew he was right. The words on the pages were starting to jumble and you were pretty sure that you had been reading the same sentence for the last hour.

Sitting up straight you stretched your arms above your head. A whiff of your lack of showering hit your nose, turning it up in disgust.

“Maybe a shower too,” you replied. “I think I smell worse than a fresh corpse right now.”

“You aren’t that bad,” Dean laughed while moving over to you as you stood up.

He placed his hand on the small of your back guiding you out of the room before turning up is nose in jest. “Never mind, I guess YOU ARE that BAD,” he grinned widely making you smack him playfully on his stomach. “Let’s get you to the shower stinky.”

_________________________________________________________

Watching the two of you leave Castiel glanced over at Sam in amusement.

“It is nice to see Dean smile for once. Perhaps I was wrong about Y/N.”

Sam let out a breath of laughter. “Yeah Cas, for whatever reason I think this is the happiest I’ve seen him in years.”

“They have a strong connection,” Castiel stated. “It is not witchcraft or anything like that, but you can see it. No, it is almost kismet.”

Sam back in his chair thinking about the words that Castiel had just said. Kismet? Yeah, probably. What other reason could there be that they were just fit together so well? Maybe she was the salvation that Dean had been looking for. A reason to finally care about living, maybe giving him the proof that he was more than just a nobody in the world. Just maybe, she would be the one to save him.

_______________________________________________________

Dean led you to the shower room and handing you a towel as you entered. It reminded you of the locker rooms in high school that your teenaged insecure self used to dread.

“There is soap, shampoo, and conditioner,” Dean stated while pointing at the little shower caddy on the floor. “Basic stuff you need. Nothing too fancy.”

“Not very private,” you laughed. “I guess the men of letters were a very open group.”

Dean chuckled lightly in return. “Yeah, well don’t worry Doc. I’ll keep watch outside for you so nobody bothers you.”

You turned your face to his, only inches away where you could feel his hot breath hitting your face. Your heart started to beat a little faster as you flashed a smile while saying thank you while moving further into the room.

True to his word Dean left you to be alone while you showered. The hot water running down you felt nice over your aching joints from sitting for so long. Each bottle you opened gave you the distinct scent of Dean, which you happily applied and lathered up to clean yourself.

After throwing on a loose fitting t-shirt and a pair of cotton shorts you made your way out of the room where Dean stood patiently. Your wet y/h/c hair laid unkempt down your head, leaving the top of your shirt soaked. He cleared his throat a little loudly before escorting you back to his room.

“Here you take my room, I’ll go take the one next door,” he said before turning to walk back out the door.

“Dean?” You said making him stop and turn in his tracks. “I feel bad kicking you out of your own bed. I mean it is big enough for both of us to sleep for a while.”

“Are you sure about that?” He asked with hesitation. “I mean, I don’t want to make you uncomfortable.”

“I think we are past the point now where sharing a bed is considered uncomfortable. I mean, we did sleep with each other,” you smirked slowly from the corner of your mouth.

“Yeah, well if I remember correctly there was not much sleeping involved,” he grinned back.

“Yeah well, that was then. Now? Now I want to pass out and say screw consciousness.”

“You read my mind Doc,” he smiled while moving over to the side of the bed opposite of you.

The two of you climbed in, both with your backs toward one another as he shut off the light that was illuminating the room. It didn’t take you long to drift off to sleep where the nightmares had begun.

There was a woman crying on a cool metal table in excruciating pain. Light was shining down at her, distorting your vision as men were surrounding her in old fashioned doctor gowns speaking incoherently. Another woman reached out and grabbed her hand, telling her it will be alright. Her long neatly curled red hair surrounded her porcelain skin as she smiled gently at the tormented woman. You heard the sound of a baby crying as the screams grew louder from her. The comforting red haired woman looked down at the other woman when her blue eyes turned black.

Jumping straight up in the bed out of your sleep you could feel the sweat pouring down you skin. Your heart beating uncontrollably with your breath trying to catch itself in your heaving chest.

“Y/N, what’s wrong?” Dean asked while staring at you frightened from your startled awakening.

“I don’t... I don’t know. It was a dream,” you rasped out. “There was a woman crying in pain with men all around her. She was giving birth and a demon… a demon was right there with her. Dean it was so real.”

You dropped your head into you hands as you could feel the pain of the woman succumbing you, causing tears to once again fall. Dean wrapped his arms around you and pulled you close to his chest. He ran his fingers through your damp hair, whispering that it was only a dream.

“Dean, it wasn’t just a dream,” you cried. “I think… I think it has something to do with this place. With me.”

“Come on,” he said while letting go of you and standing himself  up. “Let’s go see if the others have any ideas.”

________________________________________________________

Sam tried to push himself further into the files, but he had managed to succumb to sleep where he sat. It must have been a few hours when Castiel nudged him to go and sleep properly in a bed, which his aching back could only agree with. He stretched in his seat, considering moving from the task in front of him when he looked down at the file he had drooled a little on.

Dean and Y/N both walked through the archway together, looking still sleep deprived, but yet more alert as he read the words in front of him.

“So check this,” he stated loudly to bring the attention to him.

Y/N gave Dean a confused sideways glance as he just shrugged and said “it’s his thing. Just go with it.”

“Have you found something Sam?” Castiel asked while furrowing his eyes to the pages above Sam’s shoulder.

“November 5, 1955. The twins were born today. Both relatively healthy under the guidance of Cuthbert Sinclair, Henry Winchester and Josie Sands. The mother survived, although there were complications during the childbirth process. The first born, Abigail was strong and even at birth displayed such remarkable progress in her development. The second born, y/m/n was not has promising. During the delivery it was skeptical of her survival, proving that she was not as strong as her sister. Abigail’s future is promising toward the Men of Letters ultimate goal of creating the perfect specimen of defense against the darkness in the world.”

________________________________________________________

As Sam finished you felt his eyes land towards you, along with the others. Sister? Twin sister? No that couldn’t be. She never said anything about her. Why wouldn’t she of told you?

“Y/N, y/m/n was your mom’s name right? She was born in 1955,” Sam spoke up with sympathy in his voice.

“I...I didn’t know she had a sister,” you stammered out as you felt all the emotions hitting you like a baseball bat.

“Josie Sands,” Dean chimed in. “Why does that name sound familiar?”

“It is the name of Abaddon's vessel during her time amongst the Men of Letters.” Castiel stated while keeping his gaze toward you. “Your mother and her sister were created using dark magic for the purpose of becoming weapons against the evil.”

“My Mom never had any powers or special abilities,” you replied tearfully . “She was just a normal mom. A boring history professor who died of a normal, non magical disease like anyone else.”

“It is in your blood,” Castiel confirmed. “Your mother may have not been afflicted, but you, her daughter was born with the burden they had ignorantly placed upon your family.”

His words stabbed deep into your gut where you could feel the bile coming up your throat. The words from the demon days earlier whispering in your head, “Man-made monster.” It was all true. You were the genetic byproduct of a science experiment produced by a Knight of Hell and a bunch of men who knew nothing of what they were doing. The truth you had hoped and prayed that was not real was sitting there on the table. You really were a monster.

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Tags: @jaylarkson @waywardbaby @snffbeebee@iamabeautifulperson18 @19agbrown @midnightsilver @wildefire@hobby27 @sonotalice @drakelover78

[hauntedfalcon]

I would like 6, 7, and 11 from the latest fanfiction meme for Leaver's Dance, please!

BLESS YOU SHMOO

6: What makes this fic special or different from all your other fics?

It definitely has a different mood, even from the other TFA fics I’ve done. As a vignette it feels the most self-contained, both in setting and what I set out to do with it. Also, it was a really interesting challenge to write two characters who never actually meet onscreen. There was no foundation for how they might interact and it left me mostly scattering headcanon and struggling to give them a distinct voice with each other. 

7: Where did the title come from?

This song!

11: What do you like best about this fic?

LEIA. 

Also Rey trying to sort out how old Poe might be and then realizing she’s never found out how old Finn is, and resolving that she will get a chance to ask. I did myself a Sad with that one.

Also, I don’t care what new canon actually says; Poe Dameron absolutely rode in the Falcon when he was a child and it was the most thrilling and also mortifying experience of his young life. 

[idontgiveaflyinggrayson69]

Ok well its not therapy (although you know I miss him to death), and I can bet you already saw this coming from me because its my brand, but here we go. Treating my sweet boy Tyson Jost to anything he wants on his birthday, both soft and steamy. He deserves to be doted and loved on today (JJ)

All day you tell him that you’ll do anything he wants

So there’s lots of cuddling and kisses

Some games (with very little clothes on)

You make him a nice romantic dinner

Making him wear a dumb but cute birthday hat

You have wine at dinner

Afterwards you present him with his favourite cake

“Can we still do anything I want?” he asks softly

You sit on his lap, running your fingers through his curls “yeah, what did you want to do?”

He kisses you instead of answering 

Listen

Tys is a giver which means that he’s taking care of you even though you want to be taking care of him

“Trust me, I get off getting you off”

You convince him to let you ride him 

Which you do slowly

Drawing it all out

Lots of soft, deep kisses

His hands running up and down your legs and back

His lips moving across your neck and chest

It’s a good time 

@going-full-shmoo

[scooby-doo-why-are-you]

The Mystery of Mystery-Solving Cartoons

Scooby-Doo was a trendsetter in a few ways; most notably, it kicked off a fad of cartoons about mystery-solving gangs.

 There would be many derivatives of Scooby-Doo in the next decade, some of which were successful in their own right to some degree.

 Josie and the Pussycats (1970-1971) is one of the first, though it is a cartoon adaptation of another property. Josie and the Pussycats had an impact on Scooby-Doo itself; it was designed to feature a music-accompanied chase scene once per episode, an idea that would make it into Scooby-Doo, Where Are You? in many episodes. Josie was also a cartoon about a gaggle of teens (though while there is an actual pussycat, it’s not nearly Scooby-levels of importance) having adventures often reminiscent of Scooby-Doo’s mysteries.

 There are many that follow the Scooby formula much more closely. Captain Caveman and the Teen Angels (1977-1980) has a group of teens who fight crime alongside the titular Captain Caveman, a silly sidekick with a limited vocabulary and the clear Scooby-Doo of the group. The Funky Phantom (1971-1972) is nearly the same, though their Scooby is a ghost rather than a caveman. This group has two additional sidekicks in Elmo the Dog and Boo the Cat. Jabberjaw (1976-1978) brings the formula back to its roots; like the original concept for Scooby-Doo, the teens are in a band when they’re not solving mysteries. Their sidekick is a shark, who even has a cowardly, Scooby-esque demeanor. The titular Shmoo in The New Shmoo was a weird alien. The Buford Files aka Buford and the Galloping Ghost (1978-1979) was set in the ol’ West with a  dog named Buford and there’s also a ghost in this one. And we’ve got Speed Buggy, where the sidekick is…a car.

 Goober and the Ghost-Chasers (1973) is maybe one of the most obvious knock-offs. Besides the name similarity, Goober is also a dog with obvious references to beatnik culture. A decent amount of the show is dedicated to the gang trying to determine if the ghost they’re chasing is real; unlike in Scooby-Doo, Where Are You, there were many instances where the ghost was actually real and needed to be dealt with. Goober is actually a lot weirder than I bargained for (it features The Partridge Family!) and I might take more time to focus on it in a later post.

 The Clue Club has your typical gang of teenagers and two dogs this time. And they have a buggy, but this buggy does not seem sentient (though I didn’t watch every episode, so maybe I missed that revelation). Later they ditched the kids (and buggy) and made a series about just the dogs.

 Those are all Hanna-Barbera cartoons; it seemed like they did little that wasn’t a Scooby clone in the 70s. What were our creators, Ken Ruby and Joe Spears, up to? Surely they were tired of doing Scooby over and over? Maybe so- in 1977, they struck out and made their own studio. Let’s look at Ruby-Spears Production’s first project.

 Fangface. A cartoon about…a group of teenagers…riding in an apparently-cool vehicle (a non-sentient dune buggy)…with a wacky canid friend…

…

 Well, okay. A later version aimed to freshen things up by adding a new character. A vivacious little cousin that was sure to be a hit with a younger audience. Really breaking the Scooby mold.