#what did i expect with my personal track record of ships

[24-guy]

I’m back in rarepair hell. (I love being here, honestly.)

Please. I want to draw them. Ask me to draw them with your ideas. Please.

[withahappyrefrain]

⭐ 60 Fun Meet Cutes ⭐

1) A and B’s coffee orders are identical. Confusion (and promised calls) occur.

2) A always steals B’s parking spot and normally they wouldn't say anything but not today asshole!

3) A and B are seated next to each other at the singles table for a wedding.

4) B owns a bookshop and A really needs this book because their book club meeting is in two days.

5) A is a doctor/nurse treating B for an injury, but B won't stop flirting.

6) A pretends to be B’s significant other because they can tell that creep is bothering B.

7) They meet at the dog park and their dogs won't stop playing with one another.

8) They meet at the dog park and B’s dog won't stop following A’s!

9) They're both at a party and notice the other is sitting alone on the couch so we join.

10) They get volun-told to do a karaoke duet by their respective friend groups.

12) A and B’s families have been trying to set them up for years. They meet by accident.

13) A runs a stand at the local farmers market that B loves (the owner being cute and sweet is a major plus too).

14) They grab the same book at the library.

15) “You have the wrong number, but stay on!”

16) A and B have been set up on a blind date together. Neither one of them expect it to go well, given their mutual friend's track record.

17) A and B both want the last pack of cigarettes. It's not even for themselves, but they'll certainly argue about it.

18) "Hi, I'm pretty sure I saw you on a dating app and while I swiped right, you did not and wow you're beautiful in person."

19) A’s a tour guide for B, who is currently supervising a field trip of twenty seven year olds.

20) A is B’s least favorite author but they don't realize until halfway through their rant.

21) "Hey, my friend is into your friend. But they're too scared to make a move, can you help me get them together?"

22) They're at the grocery store and A can't reach the item on the top shelf, so B helps them.

23) “Hey, so I helped your grandparent cross the street and they insisted that I meet you, their grandchild.”

24) It's our high school reunion and I'm like eighty percent sure we were lab partners and you have no idea what I'm talking about.

25) A’s friends insisted on going to a strip club for a bachelor/bachelorette party and A is really enjoying their time talking to B, the hostess.

26) An unexpected torrential downpour happens and they end up taking shelter at the same place.

27) “I'm your neighbor and I swear to God, if you don't turn that music down-

28) They’re both PhD students and their dissertations contradict each other's and boy, are they going to have some intense eye contact about it.

29) B is A’s child's new teacher and their kid won't stop mentioning that their parent is single.

30 “I'm so sorry, but my friends won't stop bothering me until I get someone's number tonight, it doesn't have to be your real one, I'm just so tired of their shenanigans.”

31) A is the hot firefighter who visits B’s classroom to talk about safety.

32) A and B are paired up for a roller coaster and one of them needs to hold the other's hand to get through the ride.

33) “Look, your date may not want to dance with you, but I certainly will!”

34) They're both celebrities and their fans ship them so A and B do an interview together for our respective press tours.

35) They're both on the bus and A is reading the book B’s been wanting so badly and they gotta know if it's good or not because the waitlist at the library is ridiculous.

36) They're at an art museum and have wildly different interpretations of the same portrait.

37) It's been arranged by their families for A and B to marry as a peace treaty. When they meet for the first time, they see why their families fought so much!

38) "Do you mind if I sit here? There are no other seats available."

39) A doesn’t know why their friend's girlfriend invited me to their coworker's nephew's bar mitzvah but they have a stain from the chocolate fountain and B is an angel with their Tide to go stick.

40) “If you don't fix your collar/tie/hat, I will do it myself!”

41) “The food in your grocery store cart looks so good, what are you making?x

42) A sees B at the Renaissance Fair and is determined to give B a rose.

43) They're both at the eye doctor and can't figure out which glasses to buy.

44) They end up sitting next to each other in a movie theater during a horror movie, and cling to each other for moral support

45) A owns a flower shop andBl B just needs the courage to go inside and say hello.

46) B’s dog somehow got out and A find it. Yes, it's late at night but from B’s voice over the phone, A knows they need to return this dog STAT.

47) A has always signed up to bring the dessert for their work's potluck. Who does B think they are taking their slot?

48) A’s friends signed them up for a dating app and set them up on a date with B without A’s knowledge.

49) B’s running an adoption event and A doesn’t even like animals but my God, is B so damn cute with them.

50) They're spies who have to pretend to be a couple for an assignment.

51) They’re professors who teach the same course but disagree over teaching methods.

52) A is B’s friend's asshole boss and B is just trying to drop off C’s lunch without strangling A.

53) A’s a witch who run a shop. B barges in, asking about the best curse to give someone (without killing them of course).

54) A is a hairdresser at a fancy salon and B shouldn't be spending $150 on a haircut but they need to talk to A.

55) A is a personal trainer and B is their my client and A knows they need to keep it professional but it's really hard!

56) A is the photographer and B’s the caterer for the worst wedding ever.

57) It's the county Fair and A has lost their niece/nephew, so they ask B for help.

58) A is having a horrendous case of writer’s block, B works at the cafe A has been staying at for the past few days and is very concerned.

59) Hades and Persephone AU bc why not

60) A is a tattoo artist and it's B's first time getting a tattoo.

[sgiandubh]

Lights, camera, shit show

I was just cleaning my OL folders (all those Chinese paintings and scrolls do take a horrendous amount of space, heh) and I just stumbled upon something I completely forgot to share and discuss with you. I found this particular article during my solitaire lurking months and I remember being befuddled by it for a long time, then thought I've lost it for good.

I don't remember ever seeing it shared or discussed in here, either and if, by any slim chance, I am wrong, kindly forgive me. That professional website is now closed, but its content is still available to browse:

Anyway, there goes: https://www.studiodaily.com/2018/06/outlander-dp-stephen-mcnutt-asc-csc-saucy-scottish-show/

We discussed Terry Dresbach and her inebriated rants, Vanessa Woman's devastating impact on set as Intimacy Coordinator, RDM's jealousy and many other aspects of life on the OL set. Rumors likely to have originated there peppered our shipping trail like flickering lights in a sea of darkness. So yes, we dissected these things to death. But not Stephen McNutt's interview to Studio Daily, on June 22, 2018 - please keep in mind the date, it is essential!

Stephen McNutt is a well-established professional and a member of the American Society of Cinematographers (ASC) and the Canadian Society of Cinematographers (CSC), as he hails from British Columbia. He also has a consistent track record of previous work with RDM, both on Battlestar Galactica and Caprica (its prequel). Therefore, one has to immediately suppose he was handpicked and brought on set by the same RDM, of course: set a very low bar on your expectations, I am warning you.

By the grace of RDM, he was one of the main Directors of Photography for OL during Seasons Two and Three. IMDb is not the best source for corroborating things, because they credit him with 13 episodes in Season Two (including La Dame Blanche- he is the Blue Room guy!), but only one for Season Three (First Wife), which is completely wrong. I even had to check some opening credits on Netflix (at reduced speed, ugh), because he speaks at length of A. Malcolm, something that would have made little sense otherwise. He was there, of course: and his is a first-hand account, heavily loaded with both innuendo and TPTB bullshit, up to the point of complete incoherence.

We focus on the three final questions:

This is a study in bullshitology, right here. The question asked is very clear and very technical: how did you approach those famous love scenes?

The answer is a mumble jumble of retcon, deflections, slips and overall impossible scramble for a logical explanation. I am doing a line by line, because this is almost too good to be true:

'(...) But as far as Cat and Sammy making love (...)' : um, hello and excuse me, I thought the question was about Jamie and Claire?!? And then we are delusional and can't fucking separate, when your own henchman, the Director of Photography no less, seems to be totally unable to do so, too? Hello? Also: 'Sammy'? 'Sammy'? What. The. Total. Fuck, and I LOLed then and I am still LOLing now. Terms of endearment overheard on set - but no, here comes the 'friendship' shite, hitting the narrative fan with Mach 5 speed. Objective? Explaining in a plausible way the hugging and 'keeping warm'. And I am sorry, but this begs the question: what the hell did this man see on that set? And how many people did see the same, hence the need to release such a gratuitous lie, for pure retconning purposes?

'They are not an item at all - I think she just got married'. Oh, fuck my life, man: you are such a terrible, terrible liar! Remember, that interview was taken in June 2018: after the OZ EFH and just about when C. was gleefully answering 'oh, God forbid!' every time she was prompted by press about her marriage plans. How can somebody with a pretty high trophic level and personal rapport to both S and C be totally unaware about C's marital status at the time? How can a long time acquaintance and coworker of RDM say no both to a friend and to a current boss (same person, the worst case scenario) asking for a favor, in that particular context? It also goes to prove that the shit show plot mainlines never originated with S and C and that the Remarkable Week-end was already planned for quite some time. By TPTB. With the full knowledge of RDM.

Let's suppose Mr. McNutt was so deeply engrossed in his work as not to notice all the people who must have congratulated C on set. I mean, I know who our (spinster) colleague from Accounting is currently banging and that guy is (mercifully) not among our staff (I totally wish them well, btw). Maybe because nobody congratulated C on that fakegagement? Also, you know them well enough to confidently say 'they are not an item', but don't know she was not married at the time and state an enormity with the same confidence? What in the name of the hoo-ha did I just read, here?

'I was always in such amazement of that.' In amazement of exactly what, Mr. McNutt? Surely not a woman holding hands or keeping warm with her gay co-star on set, huh? I mean, I need the best American English dictionary, here:

Again: what the heck did this man see? What comments did he hear? Surely, 'amazement' is a very precise choice of wording, with particularly enlightening synonyms:

Hence the need to end the demonstration with a deflection: 'They would just have fun.' You know, there is no such thing as a virgin whore, Mr. McNutt: you either are in such astonishment or you think your pals, good old S and C, such a funny girl, were having, well... 'fun', what else? You can't logically have both in the same paragraph!

And there we go: 'a very collegial atmosphere on set'. The answer is pure fool's gold, if you ask me: 'Nobody goes to sit in a trailer or says they aren’t showing up that day. '

And I laughed. And I laughed. And I laughed. I really don't know what this man is talking about. I never heard McTavish telling S to get out of that trailer ('nephew'). I never read the 'two very loved-up birdies' in a trailer a-rockin' Anons. I never watched that 2015 Anglophile SDCC interview, when S mentioned listening in their shared trailer to Erasure's Oh, l'Amour and C immediately reacted ('oh, did you just admit to that?'). But unlike me, McNutt must have been legally bound by a big cojones Non-Disclosure Agreement and morally bound by loyalty towards RDM, his friend, boss and benefactor.

This. All of the above. This is the real reason for all the bullshit you've just read: explaining a real, shocking love story by socially progressive regulations, allowing the cast to be 'much more happy'. I would laugh some more, if this was not sinister and cruel, in fact.

It is Love. A deep, strong one. But the seeds of the adverse narrative were planted early and deep, forcing even decent people like this guy to lie and smear himself a bit in the process. What we see and hear now are but better worded and more refined consequences of that fateful January 2016 morning in LA. And since I am allowed the dubious luxury only a healthy distance in time allows, let me remind you a simple, fun fact about this interview who stated they were never an item:

About ten months after McNutt uttered these words, the fandom was hit by the Covfefe Pics.

I rest my case.

[athforskz]

More Random Ult Kpop Group Questions: SKZ Version!

I did something like this a while ago when I first started this blog. So it’s time for another round! Questions below the cut I'm marking as MDNI. Like before, feel free to use this template of questions for your own ult group & tag me (and some friends if ya like). I love to see everyone’s responses 🤗

Dumbest thing you believed as a new fan?

Oof… there’s a few things I fell for as a baby stay, technically I still am a baby stay I think, BUT here’s my uhhh list: 

I thought Hyunjin had an identical twin brother.. 🫣 wait WAIIIT before you come at me, there was a rumor/joke going around at the time and obviously I didn’t know any better, so I believed it. There were even really good edits of Jinnie and his “twin” too. Then when I watched interviews where Hyunjin said he was an only child I was like ???? but eventually I figured it out.

I thought the sunshine twins were legitimately twins (they are) . Like biologically. Wtf is up with me believing twin things??

At first, I could NOT for the life of me tell the difference between Lee Know and Jeongin. No joke thought they were the same person. Which looking back on this one… how could I ever have trouble with them? They literally look nothing alike in facial structure and sound completely different in the way they talk & sing. Only thing they’re the same in is their menace behavior. 

2. Favorite duo/ship?

Usually not a shipper type of person but in regard to favorite friendship dynamic in skz, it’s gotta be SeungChan. Just watch this and there’s my reason why. Jilix is a close second because, again, sunshine twins. Followed by MinChan because watching Lee Know with his only hyung is so precious.

3. Favorite Racha (or other mini group within the whole group)? 

MeanRacha (Minho, Seungmin, & I.N) One of these 3 is literally always up to something. Causing chaos when you least expect it. The phrase “Lee Know is linoing” has become a favorite of mine because it always means he’s doing some menace antics again.

4. Favorite unreleased song?

There was a song that Hyunjin and Chan recorded years ago that Chan supposedly lost. We got a snippet of it and when I heard it I went feral because like Red Lights part 2???! PLEASE I NEED THIS SONG LIKE I NEED AIR! Chan like wtf do you mean you lost the track?! FIND IT. RECORD IT AGAIN. 

Also, all the solo performances they did at the opening concert in Seoul for the DominATE tour. Yeah, I need all those unreleased songs to be RELEASED right tf now. Give us another Replay album! And Chan… ykw let me shut up and be good for once, but I just wanna say THE GRASS AINT WORKING 

5. Favorite old song of theirs? Favorite song from their most recent project?

HEYDAY by 3racha. The whole song is a vibe but Jisung’s lazy rap when he first starts his part just does something to me 😩 

In regard to the whole group, I’d say the song 'YAYAYA' is one of my go-to jams from their older stuff. I love the tempo changes, scratches my brain in a good way.

Now as for the new album “ATE” this may be controversial to say but “I like it” is my favorite. It’s just so catchy!

6. Has your bias/bias line changed?

Since the last time I did this, yes and no? I mean as I’ve grown more as a stay I can confidently say OT8! But if I was forced to choose I say Hyunjin no surprise there and Minho.

7. What about your wreckers?

Chan continues to wreck me every. single. day. Like it’s truly insane, that man KNOWS what he’s doing. I’d also like to add that I.N has been wrecking me left and right the last few months which I blame his hyungs for that. 

NOW FOR THE UNHINGED QUESTIONS!

Please skip this portion if it makes you uncomfortable. This is the delulu brain talking. 

8. Which member are you attracted to the most physically? What about emotionally?

Physically I’m going to say OT8! Like have you seen those MEN?! I would be lucky to even get a crumb from them like bffr. Changbin, Hyunjin & Minho

Emotionally probably Changbin & Chan. From the glimpses we get of their true feelings & perspectives on things I relate to them the most. Honorable mention for this one will be Hyunjin because he’s such a romantic and I wanna say Seungmin too. I feel like before we didn’t get to see a lot of Seungmin ‘off camera’ per se, but with his [Song by] series we get to see more of his real personality and thoughts.

9. If you ever actually had the chance, who do you think you’d work out in a long-term relationship with (please remember the first rule of Kpop)? 

Probably, Changbin. Mans is a walking green flag. He’s a good listener, considerate of other’s feelings while still being honest. Always there for you. Funny af too. Overall, considering how I am as a person I think, Changbin would just be a good match for me. Like in my delulu brain me and Binnie would have that friends to lovers trope going for us. Even my dearest honey bun thinks so, she did write about it for me afterall💕 

10. A favorite kink of yours and member to fit that kink?

To keep it somewhat light in the kink department I’m going to go with hands. And a member to fit it the best, aka who I think has the most attractive hands will go to Jeongin. Innie has giant and such well structured hands. Rings sit so pretty on his fingers too which makes me feral. Like AHHDKSISVJKDW please grip my wrists and throat sir! *ahem* I mean, please let’s hold hands 🫶🏽 

Honorable hands mention will go to Minho because the veins on that man’s hands are just so ✨🥴

11. Favorite sluttiest choreography/move they’ve done?

Damn do I have a lot for this one *cracks knuckles*

The choreo for Silent Cry. Need I say more?

Anytime Hyunjin body rolls

Every single hip thrust/roll from Minho

The “POPPIN 🗣️” part in Maniac, especially when Binnie does it.

That one part in Charmer. Y’all know exactly what part I’m talking about.

Red lights. Need I say more, pt 2

The entire choreo for Taste. Bonus points to Minho when he did the special stage where he’s fucking hip thrusting from the side (I hope y’all know which one I’m mentioning here)

12. Most unhinged fic or edit you have enjoyed of them?

There’s a lot for this question too but I’ll keep it short. I’ll start with unhinged fics. I enjoy dark themes because let’s face it. Trauma. Please be warned these fics aren’t for the faint of heart, so if you read them, be warned. Some are lighter than others, but please read warnings!

Game Over feat. Seungmin & I.N by @sanakimohara

Games feat. I.N by @dandelions-143

Chemical Infatuation feat. Han by @hanjisick

ABANB series feat. OT8! by @doitforbangchan

The SKZ House series feat. Chan & Hyunjin by @writeonwhiskey

As for edits, there are even more that I enjoy. But I’ll only choose 1 for the sake of time and it’s only letting me attach one video.

Alright, that’s it! Thanks for reading if you stuck it out this far! I really didn't intend for it to be this long but it was so fun that I got carried away. Now for tags, I’ll go with my typical beautiful babes @doitforbangchan @jehhskz @torialefay + anyone else who wants to join!

[my-head-is-an-animal]

The Climb

Summary: You're a scientist, an engineer to be exact. Called to a meeting you had no real right to be at, Optimus Prime takes an exclusive interest in you, but you can't help but ask yourself at every turn, Why?

Rating: 18+ 🌹🩸🍆

Story Masterlist

Chapter 2

‘So, what did he say?’ Theo asked, excitedly, his curly brown hair dangling in front of his thin framed glasses as it always did.

     He hopped onto my bed, crossed his legs and waited for me to tell him about Optimus Prime and the task that now lay ahead of me. I told him everything, including how scared I was that I wouldn’t be able to complete my task.

     ‘Oh my God, you’re going to work with Optimus Prime!’ He squealed, making me laugh, reminding me that this was the opportunity of a life time. ‘You have to call every chance you get and tell me how it’s going.’

     ‘Well, I was kind of hoping you’d stay and help me?’ I asked, knowing Theo would lose his mind as the prospect. And he did. He fell back laughing and squealing yes.

     ‘Oh my God,’ he sat up bolt right. ‘I’m going to work with Optimus Prime!’ He suddenly realised and it only spurred him on to start talking about the kind of person we needed to find.

     ‘I want to ask Lennox to take us through a climbing session.’ I said, sipping the wine Theo had stashed away in case all went well. ‘I think we need to properly understand what it is we’re asking them to do.’

     ‘Good idea’ Theo nodded.

     I sent a message to Lennox and the very next morning he scheduled us in for a light training session with his team.

     When we arrived at the hanger the next day, after having set up our new office, which was basically a janitor’s closet, Lennox met up with us and drove us to the training complex. Theo was excited to see Bumblebee and Hound hanging out with some of the soldiers, making Lennox chuckle.

     ‘We figured you scientists wouldn’t have packed for a gym session, so you can borrow some gear.’ He said, handing over a vest and shorts to both myself and Theo. I hadn’t expected his whole team to be there and suddenly I was extremely nervous.

     We got changed and headed out to training area. There were obstacle courses, running tracks, weights and more importantly for us, a climbing wall.

     ‘The alien ship won’t have nearly as many places to grab onto, but this will give you an idea of how difficult it will be regardless.’ Lennox explained as we walked past the wall towards the running track. Both Theo and I were confused. ‘We gotta warm up first.’ He said as if it were obvious.

     Theo and I weren’t runners, I was exhausted the day before just going up the stairs to talk to Optimus.

     Sergeant Epps seemed to be the only one who was immediately stepping forward to help us through the session. The track was hard, but Lennox’s team, made sure to encourage us both to complete a least a circuit. We were exhausted by the end whereas the soldiers were barely out of breath.

     ‘You got this.’ Epps said, helping Theo back up to his feet. ‘Just keep breathing, nice and slow.’

     ‘You good?’ Lennox asked me. I nodded, trying to take slow deep breaths as Lennox handed me a bottle of water. ‘Make sure you stay hydrated, last thing you want is to pass out before we even get to the wall.’ He offered a sympathetic smile and I suddenly realised that I was incredibly ill-equipped to do any of this.

     We moved onto the obstacle course, Lennox’s team completed it in almost record time, doubling back to help myself and Theo through every step. Climbing the rope was where I got into the most trouble, but Lennox was below me calling up to take it one step at a time. Epps was at the top ready to pull me up the second he could.

   �� ‘That’s it, come on now, just a little further.’ He called down to me. I took another deep breath and reached up moving my feet up below me to grip the rope. ‘It’s all in the legs, let them do the work. Keep pushing.’

     Epps kept me going until finally he could reach me and hoist me up to the top. I could hear Lennox’s team cheering for myself and Theo, but my body was almost depleted.

     ‘Nice job.’ Epps nodded, again, barely out of breath. ‘Next step is the descent.’ I looked over to what he was referring to, it was a series of logs that I would need to hop across. ‘It’s all in the legs, Harding, just use your arms for balance. You got this.’

     Epps took the first step and I supposed we didn’t have a choice. Theo and I looked at each other before picking ourselves up and following behind.

     By the time we were done, Lenox and his team were standing with Bumblebee, Hound and Drift, all of them ready to help us through the wall climb.

     We took a short break where Theo and I took on some more water, and Lennox took us through how to climb the wall properly. Epps began strapping us both into the harnesses as he spoke.

     ‘You can take as much time as you need, just make sure you know where you’re placing your foot and secure it before pushing off. Got it?’ Lennox asked. Both he and Epps quickly strapped themselves into their own harnesses to make the climb with us.

     A couple members of his team went first, ascending speedily and making it look so much easier than I knew it would be.

     Finally, it was mine and Theo’s turn. Epps and Lennox stood beside us and made sure to stick with us the whole way up. The first few feet were fine, Theo realised his sudden fear of heights and so struggled more with keeping his feet secure, I was just struggling with exhaustion.

     ‘You good? You need a minute?’ Lennox asked beside me. I took a few deep breaths and the temptation to give up was pulling at me. ‘It’s okay, you’ve done a great job all things considered.’

     That made me chuckle. ‘I can’t believe this is a light session for you guys.’ I panted.

     ‘Yeah, we train pretty hard, but we all started somewhere.’ He tried to say encouragingly. ‘A lot of us couldn’t even make it up the wall first time.’

     ‘Really?’ I was surprised at that.

     ‘It’s not easy to get your body to push through its limits, but you’re doing it.’ Lennox gave me another minute to rest.

     ‘This is what it’s going to take isn’t it?’ I asked before we went any further. ‘The moment you want to give up and you keep going anyway.’

     Lennox nodded. ‘Mind over matter.’

     My body was exhausted, depleted of everything, I had nothing left to give, but I couldn’t stop. If I stopped then I would be proven wrong, human endurance wouldn’t be what I thought it was, but if I could make it to the top, me, someone who had never climbed a wall in her life or done much in the way of exercise, then I would know it was possible.

     ‘You wanna stop? There’s no shame if you do.’ Lennox told me, sincerely.

     I took another breath. ‘No.’ I shook my head, looking up to see I still had a minimum of eighty feet to climb. The wall was one hundred and thirty feet in total and it had looked monstrous from the ground. ‘I’m going to make it to the top.’

     Lennox just smiled. ‘Well okay then. Let’s go.’

     It took nearly an hour, my body was shaking, giving everything I didn’t have left and more. I stopped a couple of times, but kept reminding myself that anything was possible if you put your mind to it.

     I could hear Lennox’s men cheering me on and it was only then that I realised Theo hadn’t made it. Epps had taken him back down to the bottom where they both watched me climb higher and higher.

     ‘Come on, just a few more steps.’ Lennox pushed me.

     My legs were like lead, I couldn’t lift them and I’d never wanted to give up so much in my life. I lifted my leg to find the next step, but missed and slid down, catching onto whatever I could grab.

     ‘You okay?’ Lennox called, moving down to where I’d fallen. I could feel blood trickling down my knees from where I’d scraped them against the wall. ‘Easy, easy, just take a breath and place your foot onto the ledge below you.’ I did as he said and felt the tears streaming down my face, it was just too hard. ‘You can do this, you’ve done this bit before, it’ll be a breeze now.’

     I couldn’t find the will to laugh, I couldn’t even find it in me to acknowledge he’d said anything at all. I managed to secure myself again and found myself panting harder than ever, I was crying and sweating and there was nothing else.

     ‘Come on, Harding, don’t give up now.’ Lennox commanded me.

     I looked up to see how much further there was to go, it just looked so far, but it was maybe only twenty feet or so. I placed my foot into the next crevice and pushed myself up.

     ‘That’s it, we don’t quit when we’re this close.’ Lennox cheered.

     I placed my foot again and pushed up. Every step was more agonising than the last, my legs just weren’t built for this kind of endurance, in fact, I wasn’t built for this kind of test. I pushed and pushed and pushed again, knowing that every time was me giving the last of my energy, but I was so close. I couldn’t give up now.

     Finally, I was there. I was a step away from the top where Lennox’s team where yelling and cheering that I’d come so far. I placed my hand on the next ledge and with anything that my body had left to give, I forced my legs to push me up to the very top. Lennox had helped me get my body up onto the top of the wall, where I just lay staring up at the blue sky above, unable to lift any part of myself.

     ‘You did it.’ Lennox kneeled over me, smiling and only a little out of breath. ‘You made it to the top, Harding.’

     I kept breathing, trying to smile, but it was too hard. I could see nothing but a blue sheet above me and all I wanted to do was go to sleep.

     ‘Can’t sleep now.’ Lennox chuckled. ‘We still gotta get you down.’

     I felt my whole body groan.

     ‘Don’t worry, it’s easy, all you have to do is fall.’ Lennox helped me sit up and drink some water, my arms wouldn’t work on their own and he needed to hold the bottle for me, but at least my body was getting something of some energy back.

     Lennox’s team nodded and some patted my shoulder as they made their way back down the wall, all in acknowledgment of the challenge I’d just faced. They knew it was a tough climb any way, but to do it in the way I had done was a feat in itself.

     I looked out at the horizon and to my surprise, I saw Optimus Prime walking towards the wall with Bumblebee.

     ‘He was watching the whole thing.’ Lennox told me as he prepared me to drop down from the wall. ‘I think he’s impressed. I know I am. Good job, Harding.’

     I couldn’t speak, I was too tired, I needed whatever was left to make the descent. Lennox helped me manoeuvre my body over the edge to drop down gently. It was much quicker going down than it was going up, but my legs were too weak to hold me steady once I reached the ground.

     I felt a cool, metallic hand gently stop me from falling to hard onto the ground and vaguely recognised the outline as Optimus Prime, kneeling to catch me.

     ‘Rest now, Dr Jane Harding.’ He said and I felt my eyes closing.

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[vossprime]

Mechanical; Medicinal

Pairing: Pasqal Haneumann x Female Rogue Trader

Rating: Explicit, no warnings apply

Tags: Smut, Fluff, Instructions, Masturbation, Explicit Consent, Negotiation, Techpriests being Techpriests, Vaginal Fingering, adorable awkward first time between two people, Theological Discussion

Summary: Pasqal delivers some reports and finds himself in bed with the Rogue Trader.

Gift for @jaal-ama-daravv <3

“Rogue Trader.” Pasqal's vox came to life, echoing the familiar syllables. “I was summoned as per your request.”

“Magos.” Lorelei gave him a grateful smile, straightening her back in an effort to shake off the hours. It was rare to be here instead of Dargonus, and it was good to be back, even if it was only behind the desk. “Thank you for finding the time.”

“Reporting to the Lord Captain is my highest duty as Enginseer.” Pasqal’s voice was calm, seeped through with slight static as always, but his stance betrayed that he was at ease and his gaze softened when it met the Rogue Trader’s. She couldn’t hide the slight hitch in her breathing holding eye contact, and so she broke it hastily. Lorelei shifted a few papers on her desk, though they had absolutely no relevance to the conversation.

“It is nothing major. I wanted to inquire, out of personal interest, what kind of progress you’ve made with Nomos.” She quickly continued, speaking up as to hide that for a moment, she had stopped in her tracks. “Since our meeting in servitor-form at my Magnae Accessio had to be cut short due to the nature of the festivities.”

She imagined seeing a glint in the eye of the man across her when she mentioned Nomos.

“I found myself fascinated, thinking about Nomos beyond the short conversation I had with it. I was mainly wondering if its time off-ship yielded new results?”

“The unit known as Nomos did collect great amounts of data. Regrettably, it has requested undisturbed time for reflection and comprehension. Analysing that data is currently advancing without input. ”

Pasqal descended into an explanation of the steps the ships-tech priests had taken to aid Nomos in its analysis. The days where his speech had been too distinct and too binaric for her to understand were over, however now, she found herself not listening for different reasons.

The firm line of his brow softened when he spoke, his bright eyes lit up even more, his mechadendrites moved animatedly with each word.

It was a welcome sight, and when he finished his report, she realised that she missed a part of it.

“I thank you for your report.” 

Lorelei wouldn’t admit to her inattentiveness, and most conversations in her study were recorded for re-listening convenience.

She expected Pasqual to leave, after all this was all she had called him in for, but he stood in place, calm and silent.

“Is there something else, Pasqal?”

His machines gave off an alert sequence of noise, several beeps in fast order. 

“Requesting further communication.” His voice was low and measured, “My surveillance of vitals on unit Lorelei, Rogue Trader, additionally make it my duty to address several readings.”

Lorelei couldn’t help being surprised, but gave it thoughtful consideration before letting herself be unsettled too easily. 

“I have been feeling somewhat exhausted lately, now that you mention it. I do hope it is nothing serious.” She gave him an earnest smile. “I thank you for your care. Proceed.”

The thought that he was keeping an eye on her was reassuring. As Rogue Trader, there was always much to do and many people to look out for, so that it was sometimes deceptively easy to forget to take care of oneself.

“The deviation is minimal.” Pasqal’s tone stayed soothing and steady as always, and Lorelei’s heart lightened. “I predict a low impact on performance. As the only retinue member with such abilities, it is merely my function to supervise in the absence of medical personnel. Data available: Increase in heart rate. Above average production of several hormonal substances. Dilation of the pupils-”

Lorelei cleared her throat. “It is nothing.” The nature of the deviation suddenly became all too apparent for her taste.

Pasqal looked at her with a mild mixture of offence and concern.

“One of the possible causes I could narrow down is: fear. Sweating, fast breathing and excessive production of adrenaline are possible symptoms of feeling threatened.”

Lorelei felther cheeks grow warm. Knowing how fair she was, the Techpriest would see the aforementioned symptoms soon enough. 

“I think it has to do with your presence, more than anything.”

This would certainly be a predicament to explain to him.

“My presence?” Pasqal lifted his head in time with his mechadendrites, curiously fixating the Rogue Trader with a gaze. “This unit finds it difficult to create a sufficient conclusion on why the Rogue Trader would perceive it as a threat. If there is reason, I will rectify the behaviour in question immediately.” 

Seeing him apologise almost sparked a sense of guilt in her. Where others saw him as closed-off and enigmatic, she saw a man who was always painfully sincere. Him bowing his head in a miscommunicated act of transgression was something she couldn't let stand, no matter how uncomfortable the truth might make her. 

“No, Pasqal.” She raised her volume just enough for him to hear the unmistakable conviction in her voice. She was a powerful woman, and she knew the weight of her words. 

“You did nothing wrong. I continue to appreciate your presence aboard this ship, and you have not once given me a reason to feel angry, threatened, or otherwise displeased at you.” 

Afterwards, however, she faltered. How did one explain what one couldn't even quite make sense of?

“You won’t let go unless I tell you to, will you?”

“My domain is knowledge.” Pasqual affirmed, “desire for it dominates all. But I will purge the case from my records if ordered to do so.”

“Well then.” Lorelei stood up, suddenly discontent with not standing eye to eye, but hip still resting against the edge of the table.

“There is an explanation your calculations failed to consider: I simply like you. More than,” she lightly coughed, throat suddenly tightened, “more than is average. It is no secret I seek to understand your soul, but I fear this is an issue of, ah, body as well.”

By the Emperor, why did attraction sound so nonsensical when explained?

“I suppose this might sound alien to members of the Adeptus Mechanicus?”

Pasqal’s stance betrayed no nervousness, no hesitation.

“Do not underestimate the depth of our knowledge. Understanding the will of the machine requires understanding the will of the flesh as well.”

“The case doesn’t need to be purged. This conversation can stay between us, trusting in your discretion, and business will resume as usual. I will trouble you no further with my desires. Goodnight.”

She lifted herself off the ledge of the desk, ready to head to bed and forget about all of this.

“Rogue Trader-” his voice cut through the warm air of her chambers like a well-oiled blade. “This unit has dedicated itself to serving you, and if it can provide you with any assistance at its disposal, it will.”

She didn’t think his voice would sound as soft as it did. Lorelei questioned if he was offering what she presumed or if that was wishful thinking. 

That in itself was unusual, his words usually straight and to the point.

“I would want assistance for more than just duties’ sake.”

“The reasons for my service reach far deeper than duty.” 

Her heart fluttered, though she dared not to hope for too much. Their working relationship was a short one, after all, and she couldn't imagine Pasqal to be one for short-lived affairs.

“What would your aid entail?” Her inquiry was soft, hesitant. She didn’t wish to encroach on his boundaries more than she already felt like she did. Her fingers lingered on the side of the desk, yet undecided whether to leave or stay.

“That depends on the extent of your wishes.” Pasqal admitted, eyes cast down. “The Rogue Trader should be conscious of the fact that this unit does not usually see to such tasks.”

Lorelei swallowed nervously “I- I know.” Her fingers anxiously fidgeted with the edge of her desk, lacquered nails thrumming against the hardwood. “With your consent, I’d like to take you up on this offer.”

“My consent has been given.”

“Might I propose we take this somewhere more private, then?” ___

“How is engaging with the flesh not antithetical to your belief in the Omnissiah?” she inquired on the way to the bedroom.

He held the door open for her as she stepped through. He smelled faintly of the surprisingly sweet aroma of machine oil and, well, like any other human. The realisation softened her. It was so unexpected, as he was so much more to her, but she fondly embraced the reminder there was a human underneath it all.

She stood still between the Magos and the doorframe, looking up to the tall figure above her.

Sitting behind the raised Rogue Trader’s desk, people seemed so small. Now, she didn’t feel so high and mighty anymore.

“The circles I studied in imposed no law that forbade this. Seeing that the subject will be the Rogue Trader’s body, not mine, this appears compliant with all teachings.”

“I would like to request you stop calling me Rogue Trader when it is just the two of us, if your protocol allows for it. Lorelei suffices.”

She was more than her station, after all, and especially in the bedroom, there was no room for the title of Rogue Trader.

“And what about you?” Lorelei drew closer, fingers dancing along the seam of the scarlet robes of the Mechanicus. “What is your perspective on the issue?”

“The machine is the true flesh, and I do not stray from this belief.” He watched her, interested, fascinated, as she continued playing with his robe just enough to lay bare a small patch of skin, “I diligently strive to adhere to the will of the Omnissiah. Nevertheless, I am not above knowing this particular weakness of the flesh. We must carry it for as long as we cannot purge it.”

Lorelei traced the skin she had uncovered. A small, diagonal scar ran across it. Her fingers ghosted over the nearly-white tissue.

“Will you stop carrying this weakness some day?”

“Where my path leads me is neither known nor for me to decide. Is the subject of my conviction distracting to you?”

She shook her head. He did have a point - if she wants to pretend this was purely an issue of lust, her questions didn’t serve any purpose. 

Full understanding of the other was something she desired, but it would take time - then again, wasn’t this act, no matter how primal, also a way to achieve that?

“I want to make sure I am not making you do anything that could lead to unwanted consequences.” Her response was upright, earnest.

He folded his metal hand over her, pressing it gently against his skin. “I welcome your interest. You have many questions, Ro-” he paused. “Lorelei. Are there any further things you wish to know?”

Her name sounded lovely through his vox. Most other people spoke it with reverence, but hard, as a statement. His pronunciation was soft, giving the syllables equal weight as if trying to hold onto all of them for as long as possible.

“I just need to know-” she sighed, “If this is something you truly want.”

By the Emperor, this was difficult. Not Pasqal, he was usually direct and aware, no, it was sorting her own feelings that brought her close to madness. 

Pasqal seemed to weigh her statement for a few seconds. Enough for her to second-guess herself, something she wasn’t usually prone to doing. 

“Full comprehension of this topic eludes this unit yet. Analysing available data, however, I can conclude that this is indeed something that I want.”

She couldn’t stop the relief from becoming apparent on her face. 

“Then what would you be comfortable with?”

“That is something yet to be revealed to me. I request my mechadendrites to be left alone, as they do not serve the requested purpose. They are my siblings on my path of the Omnissiah, and not to be involved in this.”

“Of course.” Lorelei gave him a soft smile, taking one of his hands and tugging him further into the depths of the bedroom. ”Shall we begin?“

___

With solemn precision, like he did everything in his life, Pascal began to undo the chains hanging around his waist with the heavy metal censer around it. It sank to the ground with a satisfying dull noise against the carpet. His chestplate was carefully placed on one of the chairs in the room, out of the way, projecting the impressive symbol in its middle even when taken off the body.

Lorelei, with much less to shed, kicked off her boots and left them next to the bed - nothing was more annoying than having to take care of those in the middle of the act. She had come into the meeting without armour or jewellery, neither of those needed with the man that had sought her out. 

She sat down on the ledge, backing a little further until she sat towards the middle of the wide bed. It was too big for one person, and having spentspent countless nights alone in it, she was glad to finally use it for something other than sleep.

Pasqal sat down at the edge of the bed, his robes spilling over it like a bloodstain. His shadow fell over her. The light of the huge luster in the middle of the room showered him from above, giving the reflection of all his augments an eerie glow. Lorelei felt unsure, but not uncomfortable, in these familiar surroundings but unfamiliar circumstances.

He was close, maybe closer than he’d ever been. The soundscape of his machines sang her a lullaby, though she was far from craving sleep. She could pull him into a kiss, she mused.

“I might have been overconfident in offering my assistance.“ Pasqal confessed, “No, that is incorrect. I will require your detailed instructions for this.“

Lorelei caught herself playing with a strand of her copper hair, a telltale sign for her fluttering nerves. This was a novelty, for both of them, and haste seemed unwarranted. They could take their time, and she needed to get to know his body as much as he did hers. 

“No, no, it’s quite alright-” she answered between racing thoughts, “I will try my best to instruct you.”

“Thank you.” It sounded earnest.

“I’m not very experienced myself.” She laughed a nervous laugh, but an honest one. She’d had her dalliances before, but nothing that was particularly passionate and didn’t follow a certain scheme when it came down to it. 

She looked down on herself, white blouse sticking out from black trousers and boots. “You could start by taking off my shirt.”

He reached for her, arms long and gaze tender. His fingers found button after button and undid them with the same precision he devoted to every task.

He reached a point below her chest and stopped. Careful, as if fearing to break something precious, he placed a hand over her heart. His fingers rested under her collarbone where her scar ended, and for a moment she could only hear her own faintly thrumming heartbeat.

“Your heart rate is increasing.”

She nodded. The nervosity ate away at her like a greedy bird of prey, but his touch was pleasant enough to endure it. She wanted this.

“That means it’s working.”

A noise came out of the respirator that sounded close to a laugh. She couldn’t help but smile along.

Their eyes met, dark and light green mingling, and they continued in silent agreement. He opened button after button until her shirt hung around her chest and stomach, and finally slid it over her shoulders to the sheets.

Lorelei inhaled sharply, suddenly put on display so openly. Even though she was still wearing her corset and trousers, a sudden chill crept over her, making the hair on her arms stand upright. His hand lingered in the spot where the last button had unfurled, following the way of the garment down to her sides.

She didn’t expect any reaction from the techpriest to her exposure, he was a man of science and metal after all. Still, he studied her with something that could be either simple interest or admiration. 

Lorelei enjoyed the feeling of his eyes on her body. There was something freeing about it. She didn’t feel the need to pose under his gaze like she had for other men, he seemed to take her in exactly as she was and approve of what he saw.

Still she couldn’t help timidly shifting her legs. 

“May I-” she pointed to his hood, cloaking most of his features and disallowing her from seeing what she wanted most.

“Yes.” His reply was barely a breath. For a second, the lights felt lower than before, the room warmer.

Her hands reached to the sides of his head. Fingers brushed against short buzzed hair, pleasantly prickling. With a deliberately slow gesture she pulled the red hood of his robe back, gently placing it behind his neck.

Before she could quite reel herself in she sat up, bending forward. Almost chastely, she pressed a kiss to where the top of his respirator met his nose. His skin was cool underneath her lips. Her lipstick left a small, wine red mark.

It felt like ceremony, to not only devote rite to the metal, but to the flesh.

Her reward was a singular sigh.

Basking in his enjoyment, she moved upward to place a kiss on his forehead. A familiar pressure settled in her core as he wrapped his arms around her holding her tight. His fingers landed on her back. Warm and heavy, his hands pressed into the skin, and she yielded, inching closer to him.

Thought fled her brain, there was only the urge to be closer, closer, closer, and before she knew it she was almost on his lap.

She could feel each exhale of the respirator ghosting her face, and his body heat permeated through the robes as if trying to seep straight into her skin.

Lorelei nuzzled her face into the side of his, the only spot left open by wires and glass. It was a pleasant refuge - the whirring of his machines, the scent of his body - and the hands stroking her back had her enveloped in total, blissful comfort.

Audible breath stole past her lips as the nervous tension in her body eased. 

“Undo my corset.” she commanded, adding a more appropriate, “please.”

There was no one she could rather trust to easen the lacing with mechanical precision, and he undid each clasp with the skill of a servant. Metal fingers clicked pleasantly against each one. It allowed her to exist in the space between them a little while longer, caught in nothing but his arms gently working on her front and back.

The corset fell to the ground, devoid of use for now. Lorelei knew her chemise underneath was awfully thin, barely a barrier to keep away the prying eye. She didn’t need to look down on herself to know her form was easily discernible and her arousal already noticeable in the flush across her chest. 

Yet when she pulled the chemise over her head herself, it was a vulnerable gesture. This is how he must have felt baring her his stigmata. She had nothing of the sort left to show, the scar across her neck always on display. All she had, indeed, was her flesh.

She pressed herself back against his chest to hide her nakedness, not stopping to wait for a reaction this time. 

Almost assertively she ordered the techpriest to see to her pants. He did it the way he had followed all of her orders: with utmost reverence. From the way he unbuttoned them to the care with which he rolled the fabric over her hips and then her individual legs, his work was meditative. He saw to freeing her of her underwear and stockings the same way when she asked him to, finally utterly and completely naked before him. Each of his gestures spoke of a deep respect, and she wished to undress him in the same way when the time came.

She was not sure what would await her under those robes, or if he would allow her to take them off today at all. 

Either way, she was prepared to receive him. He was unconventional, and she was ready to take him as he was. 

When her fingers wrapped around one of the small clasps holding his robe together in front, his hand closed over hers. 

A sign to wait before continuing, or not at all?

Lorelei looked up at the man in front of her. Gently she lifted her hand, and his with it, bringing it to her mouth. In a spur of the moment she kissed the single metallic finger completing it.

Slowly, his finger began to trace the outline of her lips in turn. He wandered over her bottom lip, over the scar adorning both halves, replacing his pointer with his thumb. Almost thoughtful he pressed it into the flesh, seeing her lip yield to his touch and her jaw fall open when he did so.

In a sudden urge of playfulness, she gave it a small bite. He drew his hand back for a second, as if stung by a small animal, but immediately returned. Instead of his thumb he now used both pointer and index to trace the lines of her features, and Lorelei caught herself wishing he’d slip those fingers into her mouth. She could have asked, but seeing where this went naturally was much more exhilarating.

Ever so often their eyes met, and instead of simple curiosity, she could see the same flame burning that had set her alight intermingled with it.

She felt herself burn bright and melt fast under his gaze, and the desire hanging in the air had become palpable.

His fingers dipped into her mouth, just enough for her to taste the metal before they quickly drew back out. Now his hand trailed downwards, leaving a mark of her lipstick over her chin down over her neck where he went.

Lorelei closed her eyes and sighed, pleased. 

His hands began to explore her shoulders. This was what it meant for them both: an exploration. She could feel the way he tried to alternate between harder and gentler touches, the way he tried not to linger in the places her body had suffered lasting damage. She hoped her noises of contentment would serve him as enough feedback.

She liked the way he didn’t focus on her breasts immediately, as others had done before him. Instead he treated her as a whole, diligently caressing with no spot missed. The insides of her wrists proved to be more sensitive than she anticipated, and when he held it gently with one hand and followed the trails of veins there with another, it felt unexpectedly blissful.

“I see now the source of your anomalies,” his voice was a pleasant purr of vox-noise, “the signs are consistent with those previously displayed.”

“Told you.” Lorelei grinned. „Am I allowed to kiss you?” 

He trailed his way up her body over her shoulders, gently caressing her neck with the side of his hands. 

“Affirmative, but not recommended.” There was a slight tinge of something resembling regret to his voice. “Short-term survival is guaranteed. However, status of the skin under the respirator is: damaged.”

She wanted to ask what that entailed, but didn’t want to push the topic either when the night was this young. 

Instead, she leaned back, allowing him more of her, bathing in his attention like a well-fed cat in the sun. He continued his way down and finally - by this point she had been awaiting his touch there, craving it even - his hands found her chest, cupping it lightly. Silver fingers brushed her nipples as if on accident, but nothing really was an accident with Pasqal, was it?  

She didn’t refrain from making sound, rewarding him with soft sighs when his hand moved and gently rolled them between his fingers. 

Once again he leaned in, distance closing, intelligent eyes drinking her in, studying her, and she unravelled just from that inquiring gaze.

The air between them was alight with the heat of their bodies. 

He let go of her, fingers ghosting over the pale delicate skin so devoid of metal, lower and lower until finally settling on her hip. His hold was firm and calming. 

“I request a visual instruction on how to touch you.” Pasqual's vox came out stuttering, but not in any way unsettled. 

Blush crept over her features hot and fast like a fever. Never had she been asked to perform something this private - but with how much she enjoyed his eyes on her, enjoyed the communication that was only between looks, she would not have dreamed of saying no.

“Request accepted, Magos.” Her tone was playful but her breathing quickened slightly. He would see it, she thought, she could not hide her state from him and she did not want to.

She drew back from their entangled position, leaning onto her elbows just far enough for him to see her, enough of her, see what she wanted him to see. Her legs still hung to the side of his lap off the edge of the bed, and she knew that the way it forced her thighs apart left absolutely nothing to the imagination.

He placed his hands firmly on her thighs, and it reassured her as much as it spurred her on. 

She wanted to feel those hands over every inch her body had to offer. Instead, she let her own glide over her stomach and navel toward her center. She wasn’t in the mood to waste time on making this a show, and his efforts left her wanting to be pleased. She didn’t take long to find the soft red curls between her legs and dip her fingers below.

Pleasure jolted through her body like electric current were to run through a machine, quick, infectious, lighting its path. She had touched herself hundreds of times before, naturally, but this was one of the few times she truly ached for something. Better yet, it was the fact she was being watched, willingly but distantly, that brought her quite close to the craved oblivion already.

“Start like this,” she pressed out, caressing around but not quite playing with her most sensitive spot yet, the same way she would if she were alone. He watched her body, yes, but most of his time seemed to be spent studying her face. 

How much did he see that stayed hidden to her?

“Then touch me here.” Her fingers began to circle her clit, unable to take his attention without relief any longer. Was it her imagination, or did his fingers dig into her thighs harder than before?

She tipped her head back, slightly overwhelmed with her own pleasure, but steadily watching him through eyelashes painting a blurry picture. Oh, how she wished that damn robe wouldn’t cover everything: she wanted to know if his body reacted the same as hers, if the same flush spread across his skin, wanted to see him, feel him, make him wholly hers.

The way he held her while sitting in front of her spread legs made it look as if he were inside her already.

Her fingers pushed inside her, first one, then two, and she imagined it was not her moving but him. Their heavy breathing filled the air, eyes locked while she pushed inside herself again and again. Discontented quite soon, she pulled her fingers out, slick and despising the emptiness it left.

“Pasqal,” she sighed, name like a prayer on her lips, “Touch me. I don’t care how, just touch me.”

As if the command had awakened him, the Techpriest rose to his full seated height. Carefully he pulled away, instead taking a position leaning over her, and once again she felt deliciously small both under his body and gaze.

Her persistent arousal, now quite obvious, had left a stain on his crimson robes.  

“Apologies.” she looked down on him, not without a smirk, once again placing her hand over the opening of the robe that closed his skin off from her sight. “May I open it?”

Pasqal’s agreement was a melodic hum. His mechanic hand gently pushed hers aside, parting his robes. 

The sight was the same as back when he had shown her his stigmata on the bridge, but back then she hadn't felt about him the way she did now. The memory had passed through her mind more than once. Again the winding unity of metal and flesh revealed itself to her, framed by crimson. 

“I still think it’s beautiful.” she sighed, wrapping both arms and legs around him as far as she could. 

Wires pressed against her, but so did cloth, flesh, metal. Pasqal was a landscape of textures and sounds. She embraced him, felt him, tried to focus on the places the sacred stigmata connected with her skin as well as his hand on her body, pressed against her stomach. 

His robes hung to her side, enveloping them as if a shared being.

And wasn’t this sacred, too? The meeting of opposites in agreement to become one, the contact of flesh, whether true or not, for fleeting moments of harmony.

She didn’t voice any of this, too taken by the moment to speak of something that might conflict with his teachings, but there had to have been a reason why he had agreed to unite with her despite them.

His vox was a fervent purr, hand gently ranking down her body the same way she had done on herself. His path was predictable, he had paid close attention when she had demonstrated after all.

He teased her the same way, avoiding the spot that would bring her close, but by the Emperor, it was worse when someone else did it than oneself. There was difference in knowing you could stop whenever you wanted and being wholly at the mercy of someone else, who might not be so benevolent yet.

His hand was the only thing separating their bodies, her gasps and moans the only thing filling the darkness between them, shielded from the light of the room. The world became her and him, the cloth between her fingers, the bedsheets under her back. 

“That’s good- good.” she managed to press out, panting between breaths, but not much more.

Finally, and how badly had she waited for it, his fingers found her clit and began to draw circles there, first withholding, then slowly increasing. The difference of texture between her skin and his metal was exhilarating.

It felt dreamlike, to be touched by someone she thought never would do so, and though pleasure tried to carry her away like an undercurrent, she tried to keep her mind in the present moment. 

Lorelei wanted to drink in Pasqal’ expression, the knit of his brows, the steady quickened exhale of the vox that betrayed he wasn’t unaffected, and he seemed to do the same to her.

In a moment of passion and little thought, she released her grasp around his neck, hand lading on the respirator cupping his face. 

Yet she halted a few seconds, awaiting indication that it was unwelcome to proceed, but it never came.

Slender finger slipped the respirator and vox down over his chin, forgotten and falling around his neck. Skin damaged by years of wear revealed itself from under it, scars where the machine had sat for so long as well as scars of other origin, patched and sewn but far from small. Lorelei didn’t care, pressed her lips to his before he could think to explain himself to her. 

He gave a little gasp, the first sound of his she had heard not filtered through his implants, and it was such a soft and fragile one that she wished to remember it for all of eternity. It took him some time to adjust to the kiss, long seconds passing in which they simply breathed the same air, connected, but finally he closed his lips over hers in something resembling a kiss.

Just in time with their impulsive affections, his fingers pushed inside her. Lorelei let out a startled yelp, breaking the contact, that quickly turned into a sigh. 

“Keep doing that-” she whispered, one hand back in his robes to clutch it like a lifeline. The other still held his respirator. She decided to indulge in another kiss, letting her lips wander over his and trying to immortalise in the feeling against hers, memorising every ridge of every scar running over each their lips, until the tactile image was burned into her mind.

Once satisfied, Lorelei gently placed the respirator back on his face.

Maybe he thanked her, maybe he said something entirely else, but the words went under as the rush of her own ecstasy pulled her downwards once more.

The feeling of his fingers sinking inside her was breathtaking, though her mind sometimes slipped in and out of imagining it to be something else, and with the time their play had gone on, she knew she would not last long. 

She tried to communicate the same to him, but the words stopped making sense in her head before they came out, and she was sure he’d know anyway. 

Lorelei fell and pulled him down with her, down, down, finger woven tight into the fabric and dragging him towards her. He hung over her like a shadow, one arm to her side, the other giving her seemingly endless pleasure, and she stared into his eyes with tender desperation.

Finally her body bucked upwards, into him, her core tightened, and then all the tension fell out of her at once. The climax came to her gently, the final impulse given. The pleasure spread through her like electric current lighting up nodes one by one until finally too bright to handle, burning the fuse. 

She held him through it, panting something that could have been his name, until the last of it had ebbed away and she sank back into the sheets, exhausted, but content.

It took her several moments to catch her breath, even when he had already withdrawn from her. He remained where he was, mild concern written in his eyes along with something else.

“Do you confirm your satisfaction?”

“Highly.” She stretched her hands, letting them fall besides her head. 

“Initiating the end of the encounter.”

“Wait,” Lorelei propped herself up. “You’ve taken care of me, and it would feel unfair to just-”

“The pleasure of the Rogue Trader takes priority.” he lectured her, “reciprocation can be negotiated at a later date.”

Her face lit up at the idea of a continuation, and the knot in her stomach that had formed when he announced the end untangled as quickly as it had come. It was true that she had plenty more ideas for occasions such as these.

“Accepted.”

“I’ve been informed that the customary end of protocol for this type of activity demands initiating closeness.”

“It does.” A smile spread across Lorelei’s lips. Her lipstick must have been thoroughly ruined by now. “If you would like to share this with me? You’re free to leave, if that is more to your comfort.” 

Her words were tender. She wanted to show him the same courtesy he had shown her, that he hadn't overwhelmed her, had been considerate and almost loving.

“It is a protocol I am honoured to fulfil.”

There was a happy trill coming from one of Pasqal machines as the hulking figure of the Techpriest tried to get comfortable on the suddenly very small bed. 

He rested his head on the pillow against the headboard, mechadendrites neatly tucked to his sides, hands folded over his stomach. It painted a somewhat out-of-place picture all together, much to Lorelei’s amusement.

She curled herself up against him, head on the spot where the symbol of the Adeptus Mechanicus had been. Underneath, she could hear the workings of a plethora of machinery, ticks and thrums, and deeper yet - a single, steady heartbeat. 

Lorelei listened to it for a while, until the rhythmic chorus under the techpriest’s skin sank her into blissful sleep.

[Ao3 Link]

[clarabowmp3]

Could you please predict for me when we will be done with the meathead?

stoppp 💀💀 honestly I didn’t expect them to have lasted till now but also I fully expected that she’d end up marrying joe so what do I/anyone rlly know lmao 🤡🤡

Fully explained below but tl;dr - it’s either until the travis team (i legit forgot the name i know the colour is red or smthhhh) keeps winning the Super Bowl/maintains a relatively good reputation OR until Taylor gets bored of him and looks for another shiny toy to make a complete fool of herself over (so like by this time next year) OR they get married and ride off into the sunset towards some happily ever after.

Howeverrr just for funsies: the way I see it is by working backwards, starting with if I see them getting married, and honestly…based on ttpd, leaning towards yes. When they will get married I have no inkling and I don’t even feel like speculating cuz of all those gross pregnancy/marriage rumours going around 🤢 I think they’ll get married cuz:

their careers are such that they’re both lifting the other up when they show up for games/concerts, there is no conflict of interest (ie no competition) cuz of the vastly different fields they’re in. Also, he was more established than joe at the start of their r/ship which makes for a very rosy picturesque love story image which at least some part of Taylor desires (based on her interviews, the fearless/speak now eras) but she’s also become quite jaded (as per ttpd) so maybe she thinks this is the closest she’s going to get to it

i also think she’s in no rush to leave a r/ship this comfortable after her last 2 emotionally complex ones. Not saying this is good or bad of her; I do understand why she would want to take it easy now (and possibly forever) but given how little they seem to have in common, I don’t think she can find this r/ship as emotionally fulfilling as she would want with a life partner, so I don’t see them sticking it out forever. Ofc I could be wrong and maybe she’s changed, but based on her track record travis does not seem the type of person Taylor Swift would want to spend the rest of her life with (girlie was cringing so hard in the viva las vegas clip)

Possible triggers for the breakup and why:

She finds someone else to obsess over and for some weird reason…she suddenly realises what a temper travis has? And how aggressive he is?? Cue the breakup songs/album, swifties dig up That Clip and go omggg how did we not see this he was abusing mother 😢😢, rinse and repeat until she (hopefully) finds some self-worth NOT tied to a man

travis’ team starts losing the Super Bowl/not doing all that well in other competitions. I think the main reason swiftie are kind of sweeping his messed up tweets and behaviour under the rug is cuz they won. But what abt if/when they stop winning? All that’s left is a hot-tempered football player who isn’t even an “all-star” (am I using that term correctly?) and she’s not going to like being associated with that/have that tarnish her brand. I find it so absurdly hilarious but she would rather be seen as problematic (re: M*tty) than unsuccessful, so she’d prob drop him if this happened

very unlikely, but maybe she breaks up with him and enjoys being single for a while? No reason for thinking this tho

ngl as long as this reply is, im kind of apathetic cuz she’s changed so much recently that im becoming less and less invested in her. I’m not even rlly looking forward to rep tv despite it being such a formative album for me cuz that version/image of taylor has been sooo tarnished by recent events yk? So idc what she does, mostly cuz if I had her as an actual friend I’d cut her out of my life SO fast

again, the usual disclaimers apply, idk her/them or anything abt their relationship, I am literally just a girl sipping her ginger ale and watching this train wreck of whatever taylor swiftTM has become 🍹🍹

[wardenred]

Flufftober 3: "Wait, you love me?"

Tales from the Witch House is one of my oldest stories/settings that keeps growing out of control, changing directions, sprouting new characters and plotlines, and generally being a wild urban fantasy kitchen sink thing that refuses to stick to one shape. Some of the characters keep staying the same though. Like Tim and Leo, my favorite chaotic anxious fuck-ups in love.

The city was creeping up closer and closer to the Witch’s House. It wasn’t so evident if you stuck to the kitchen whose windows faced the desolate closed courtyard, or the living room that had no windows at all. Maybe if Leo was still only an occasional guest in this place, he would be able to pretend that this wasn’t happening. That the House’s borrowed time wasn’t running out. But he was now living under this leaking roof, sharing a room with Tim, and every time he passed the window with its sheer curtains, he caught a glimpse of the street on the other side of the barbed wire fence. What used to be a boring gray patch of asphalt and concrete, a border drawn between the House and the railway track, now brimmed with life. Streetlamps shone brightly through the evening fog, and the buildings were littered with signs for take-out venues, mom-and-pop shops, and other small businesses.

The Witch's House used to be an island drifting off the edge of the world. Now, it felt like a sinking ship about to crash into the shoreline.

Behind Leo’s back, the door hinges screeched. “The new guy is awful,” Tim complained.

Leo smirked, turning away from the window. “You say it about every new person.” It was a relief, really, to get this reminder that their broken boat was still getting new passengers. If the Witch kept letting people in, that could only mean she didn’t expect for the whole project to collapse any moment, right?

“Yes, but this one is particularly awful! He just called Tyssa a ‘buxom babe.’ Who talks like that?”

“The new guy, apparently,” Leo said. He hopped up to sit on the edge of the shabby, scratched desk, squeezing himself between Tim’s laptop and the ancient lamp with its dragonfly-patterned fabric shade. None of the mismatched chairs in the room offered much comfort for his lanky frame. The sunken armchair in the corner was occupied by Tim’s guitar and a stack of laundry they really needed put away. 

He supposed he could go plop down on the bed, like Tim just did. Except that was the thing: Tim was already there, stretched over the faded blue comforter, his toes nudging at the low table tucked between the bed and the door, the one with the record player and a stack of dusty vinyls they never played. It would be the easiest thing in the world to come join him, tuck himself against Tim, take a peek at whatever he was scrolling through on his phone, steal a kiss or two.

Get hopelessly late for work as a result.

“I have looked up ‘buxom’ in the dictionary,” Tim proclaimed, “and I have serious suspicions the guy is sexist, stuck-up, and old-fashioned.”

“The way you say it makes the last part sound like the worst of his crimes.”

Tim let out an over-the-top groan. “Love. Please. Take me seriously.”

The endearment made Leo freeze. He dug his fingers into the edge of the desk and forced a smile in place of the real one that had dimmed. “That’s really an impossible request.” He was speaking lightly, right? Just joking around. Tim wasn’t going to notice any weirdness.

Tim tossed the phone on Leo’s pillow and turned to his side, propping himself up on one elbow. “Is something wrong?”

Crap. Why was he getting so perceptive lately? Leo drew a breath. We did promise each other to be honest, he reminded himself. Maybe it was his turn to start.

“Nothing! Absolutely nothing.” Yup. Perfect start there. His suddenly damp palm slid uncomfortably against the unevenly polished wooden surface. “It’s just—I like all the pet names and stuff, all right? But, um. Maybe save this particular one for, for when you really mean it.”

Which was probably never, and he had now successfully stuffed his foot in his mouth again, and Tim was going to—

“But I do love you.”

Leo’s train of thought crushed into a wall of rock-solid confusion.

“You... love me.”

Tim sat up slowly, his brow furrowed. “Well, yeah? I mean, I always have. Like, literally always? From that very first night in the club? Come on, you must know. Everyone knew before I did.”

“I—” But this didn’t make any sense. What did he mean, everyone knew? Yes, of course, now that Leo thought about it, there had been all those jokes. Karolina needling Tim about being oh so smitten, Gella making cutesy faces. Xan’s exaggerated eyerolls. Agnia’s grumbling.

Leo thought those jokes had been at his expense.

“You... didn’t know,” Tim stated. He sounded kind of lost.

“Well, you never said! And the way you were acting around me, up until the last time we got back together—” Leo forced himself to shut up. There was no use rehashing it. Those old hurts were scabbing over just fine. The two of them had sorted it all out, hadn’t they? They were literally living together. He was here to stay. The past didn’t matter.

Tim had the grace to look sheepish. “Well, yeah, I was an ass, I know. But that was precisely because I was trying to come to terms with—ugh. Why am I so bad at this?” He dragged his fingers through his dark hair, and then suddenly, adorably, he was babbling. “Listen, I’m a coward, okay? I met you once, and I couldn’t think of anything else. And then we kept, um, meeting, and every second with you was like stars colliding. Yes, I know! It sounds sappy and stupid! But that’s how it felt. How it still feels. So I chickened out and tried to act like you weren’t important, because at that time, I was still fucked-up. I mean, I’ll probably always be fucked-up, that’s like, my style! But when we met, I still believed wanting something openly was the surest way to never get it. And I’ve never, ever wanted anything the way I want to be with you.”

Leo decided his shift could wait.

[magnetarbeam]

Frames of Reference (WIP 1)

[I feel like I'm almost at a chapter break, but there is a lot more to do here.]

When Ahsoka woke up, the first thing that registered was that she didn't know where she was. 

She stood bolt upright, instantly assessing the situation and ready to run or fight as needed. 

The two others in the room with her turned away from whatever they were doing and fixed their attention on her. Ahsoka quickly realized she sensed no hostility from them, and only then did she decide to let herself relax a little. 

"You're not in danger," one of them - human, male-presenting, red hair and blue eyes - reassured her. "You're in the Jedi Temple on Shedu Maad. You chose to be here." 

"Oh." Ahsoka blinked, trying to recall everything that had happened as she took in her surroundings: A room more than large enough for three people to live in - by her standards, anyway - featuring two other beds, a computer, and various other features that suggested that the place had been lived in and used for some academic purpose for some time.

On the small table next to the bed Ahsoka had slept in rested a pair of WESTAR-35 blaster pistols and a DC-15S carbine, the weapons she had carried with her in the Siege of Mandalore. This observation further relaxed her. 

"I remember now," she said truthfully. Discovering that the Jedi of this era had learned from their mistakes, were no longer under the command of politicians that knew nothing of the needs of the oppressed or compassion for innocent beings, had motivated her to give it a chance. 

That, and there was just no place for her anywhere else. 

"I'm Ben Skywalker, by the way," the one who had spoken before introduced himself nonchalantly. "Jedi Knight." 

"I'm Padawan Vestara Khai," the third person said. Ahsoka took a look at her, light brown hair hanging loose, brown eyes that spoke of trauma at least as profound as Ahsoka's own in a comparable number of years, a scar on the side of her mouth that curved to evoke the shape of a smile, and- oh.

Blast it, Ahsoka.

"It's okay," Vestara said with a self-assured smirk. "It happens to everyone." 

"She's not wrong," Ben said, with a certain satisfaction in his voice that obviously meant I was first. Then he thankfully changed the subject. 

"So what happened to you," he asked Ahsoka, "at the end?" 

"Hyperdrive malfunction," Ahsoka said shortly. 

"Oh," Ben almost looked disappointed. "Yeah, that can happen." 

"What were you expecting?" Vestara asked him. 

Ben shrugged. "I hoped it would be a little more dramatic." 

"I had just killed a Sith Lord without my sabers, if that helps." For all that she had grown out of thinking herself invincible, Ahsoka couldn't help the pride that colored her voice at that accomplishment. 

As Ben and Vestara gaped, Ahsoka remembered her quarry's track record. 

"Unless - wait. Maul didn't come back from that, did he?" 

"No," replied Vestara. 

"Not yet," replied Ben. 

Vestara rolled her eyes. "Really?" 

"Hey," Ben defended, "we know better than anyone about bad guys who won't stay dead."

"It's been sixty-five years," she said dryly. "I think if he was somehow still alive, we would have heard of it." 

Ahsoka rolled her eyes. "That's what they said about all the Sith."

"And that was just the Banites," Vestara said, as if to agree with her.

As Ahsoka realized the implications of that statement, Ben and Vestara exchanged a concerned glance, and something passed between them in the Force. Ahsoka didn't have the context to guess what they were thinking. 

With a hesitation that Ahsoka didn't appreciate being on the receiving end of, Vestara started explaining. 

"There's a planet out in Wild Space called Kesh." Vestara's voice took on  a more reserved tone that Ahsoka wasn't sure what to make of. "Five thousand years ago, during the Great Hyperspace War, a Sith dreadnought named Omen was knocked off course from a hyperspace jump and crashed there. The crew didn't have the resources to repair the ship, so they conquered the primitive natives and made the planet theirs." 

Ahsoka considered that. "I assume they aren't still stuck there." 

"Yeah," Vestara said awkwardly. "That's where I was born." 

There was a beat of silence. 

"What?" Ahsoka asked, her complete bewilderment causing her voice to rise to a pitch she knew some humans couldn't hear at all. 

"When you're from," Ben spoke up, "the Jedi believed that you could never come back from the Dark."

At a loss for words, Ahsoka simply nodded. 

"Before my dad even founded the New Jedi Order," Ben continued, "he had turned Darth Vader back to the light side using the love of a father for his son, and it was Anakin Skywalker who killed Palpatine."

Ahsoka wasn't ready to examine every emotion that sprung up in her upon learning that. Which was just as well, because Ben was still talking. 

"When Palpatine came back from the dead," he said, while Vestara rolled her eyes at that, "my dad turned to the dark side, and Aunt Leia pulled him back from it.

"My mom was raised by Palpatine and trained in the dark side," Ben continued, "and Dad brought her into the light." 

"Okay, I think I get it," Ahsoka said. "Since that misjump, my life has become a perpetual existential crisis, but…" She arrived at her conclusion on the matter in barely a second. "I think this change is for the better."

[As I've mentioned, there's not going to be actual romance between Ves and Ahsoka, but it is probably going to be queerplatonic.]

[moss-selfship]

Do you have a specific idea for a self insert to ship with Entrapta, any storyline etc?

i swear i had put the information about them here but i cant seem to find it? so either im wrong and just thought i did or tumblrs search function is ass (either is possible). but doesnt matter either way, ill explain it here. The explanation is under the read more as it contains some stuff im tagging with a trigger. as well as being long and not wanting to clog timelines Tw incest

STORYLINE So the first thing i want to get out of the way is they are siblings. yes this is a sibling ship, And there is a reasons why. Entrapta is a princess and we all know how royalty feels about incest (im joking, this is a joke XD) the real reason is that she lived alone her entire life. she grew up in her castle surrounded by machines and robots that raised her. she genuinely had no living family that ever raised her. so the idea of the only other person she was raised with being her brother, the only other person she ever really knew being him? well thats a bond that is so incredibly close and goes beyond what one normally expects. they are literally the only other person each other has known their entire lives. even as siblings its no wonder the feelings bloomed when the only other human being you ever interacted with growing up being your brother means the feelings between the two of you are extremely personal and isnt the same as everyone else. like sure there are the robots that taught her all the stuff she knows and TOLD her about society and how people act and stuff. or atleast how they are supposed to..but its not the same. pretending a robot is another person isnt the same. and sure they are taught about laws and societies and stuff..but doesnt really mean much in the end

Plus i mean we already know she isnt the most caring about laws and morals, i mean she happily joins the horde after she sees the advanced technological power they had as well as some "convincing" from catra. so even in the end she wouldn't care im her brother, or realize that its bad no matter what anyone said. To her it only made logical sense she would fall in love with the only other person she had ever known growing up and vice versa.

INSERT THEMSELF

My inserts name is moss aka "The Huntsman" , and as i said before he is entrapta's brother. ive taken some liberties with canon to expand more on entraptas family. See, in the story we have some books and audio recordings of our parents and are able to learn a little bit about them. Our father was a brilliant technological genius and he originally designed the robots that raised me and entrapta, and was the old leader of dryl and he had a deep fascination with first one technology. As you can imagine he is where entrapta inherited her genius and love of robotics and first one tech. She took to his research like a duck to water and sure enough she had an intellect to rival even his. I tried but it never clicked with me and i always ended up more confused than anything. Our mother was in tune with the wilds, combining her otherworldly tracking and hunting skills, the ability to control her hair like limbs, Her deep knowledge of the natural world, as well as her supernatural skill with a spear. She was the greatest hunter in all of etheria and she loves nothing more than the thrill of the hunt. I inherited almost all of our mothers skills and abilities and took to her teachings much more than i did our fathers (that was entraptas favorite as you can see, as well as her gaining our mothers hair powers.) and so i became the great huntsman like our mother had been the great huntswoman all those years ago. Entrapta was only ever interested in these teachings if it involved first one tech based nature. Design wise i feel like his outfit is a mix of furs and leathers with more advanced plating underneath (courtesy of entrapta) and even some augments that can improve my abilities (things like ability to hide my body temperature, muffle my footsteps even more, and change color to blend into environments).

[noddytheornithopod]

Alright, some more Ahsoka thoughts under the cut. Spoilers beware.

So we actually get an opening crawl of sorts, and the Star Wars logo is red too. Filoni definitely trying to make this an event.

People have been rightfully comparing the opening scene where Baylan and Shin break into the New Republic ship to The Phantom Menace and A New Hope’s openers. Honestly not as on the nose as I was expecting.

The opening scene with Ahsoka where she finds the map did feel a bit too long. Like I understand trying to set a slower tone, but I feel like this went on for a bit.

Speaking of the map, anyone getting The Force Awakens flashbacks? All they needed to do was give it to Chopper, lol.

So the three figures in that mural... I have no idea if it’s going to be significant down the line, but the fact that there’s three of them makes one wonder... Mortis gods?

“Location of the last missing Imperial Grand Admiral”. So do they know where Sloane is? Or is she going to be presumed dead (along with the proto-First Order types?), like they seemed to think Thrawn was until the whispers of his return? Either way, just a small detail, and one that people are probably gonna get way too hung up over.

I will say Ahsoka definitely looks better than in previous appearances. IDK if it’s the performance, my own jadedness based on the controversy around Rosario Dawson, or an intentional character choice that is making it harder to connect with her at first, but Ahsoka weirdly doesn’t have that much of a presence? Like, there’s a stoicism to the character, but even when other characters are around, they always end up feeling like they stand out more than her. Hopefully they’re building to something, otherwise it’s going to be weird to have your lead character feel this distant.

“It’s never a straight line with you Jedi”. Why do I feel like Hera was thinking of Kanan when she said that? Maybe Ezra too for that matter.

I do wonder what Ahsoka specifically heard that lead her on the trail to Elsbeth, TBH.

So with Ahsoka and Sabine, we still don’t really know what happened. We know at some point Ahsoka agreed to train her, but then gave up on her and left.

Lothal looks cool! Okay maybe some shots do look clearly fake, but I like seeing that aesthetic translate into live-action, and also seeing Lothal after the Imperial occupation rebuilt.

Ryder Azadi is back, wasn’t sure if he would be back but it’s a cool connection nonetheless. Jai Kell is apparently Lothal’s senator now too. Stuff like this definitely adds to the feeling of it being a continuation.

Not sure how I feel about Mary Elizabeth Winstead as Hera. I THINK I like her? There’s one or two scenes where I find myself questioning it, but then there’s others where I think she works perfectly fine.

Of our main heroes, Sabine was easily the standout character. I do feel like they could’ve found a better actor to look the part (I do think she’s a bit pale for Sabine’s complexion, but that’s a whole can of worms to open and I’m probably not the person most invested in this topic), but even if her performance is quite different to what Tiya Sircar did, I feel like she manages to embody the character well in her own way.

I do like seeing Sabine the way we did. That opening scene for her with her on the speeder chased by the E-wings was pretty cool, the fact that the Kiners decided to have a rock track play over it only added to the feeling of Sabine’s rebelliousness (also NGL with the sudden change in sound from the usual Star Wars score, I thought for a moment they were playing a licensed song, but nope it’s just an in-universe track I guess XD). You do get the sense she’s feeling pretty lost after everything that happened. Like Sabine’s lothcat too.

Also, confirmation that Ezra recorded another message specifically for Sabine. No real comments on Eman Esfandi’s portrayal yet, but I do hope to see more of Ezra.

“But you’re like a sister to me.” This line is sweet of course but primarily I find it unintentionally hilarious because Season 1 Ezra was really trying to hit on her. Obviously this is Ezra at the end of Rebels and he grew out of that crush and his bond with Sabine was more serious and of course platonic... but still. Lol.

Just noticed Shin has a padawan braid. Seems like Baylan is still doing Jedi stuff but isn’t operating as one? Also, neat touch that Huyang was able to identify Baylan from his lightsabre, but not Shin because obviously hers would be constructed well after he was around to document it.

Speaking of which... no explanation on why Huyang is around. I mean, I’m not complaining, but it’s kind of wild this major piece of Jedi history was able to avoid being hunted down and destroyed by the Empire.

Morgan Elsbeth confirms she’s a Nightsister, and the temple on Arcada Ahsoka was raiding (which is what she got out of her in Mando S2) was apparently built by them. It sounds like the Nightsisters may have been bigger many millennia ago.

Alright so we still don’t know what the deal with Marrok is, if they’re a familiar face or just some new ex-Inquisitor. Elsbeth is lucky to have managed to hire three Force Sensitive mercenaries, huh? Marrok doesn’t even have any lines, lol.

So with Ahsoka and Sabine’s relationship, we’re not really sure what happened yet. I think we might learn more over the course of the show, but from what I can tell, Sabine’s feeling pretty disillusioned after losing Ezra (even acting surprised at the idea he might be alive), and even if it’s yet to come up, I’m sure the Great Purge on Mandalore affected her too. She isn’t at the celebration of Lothal’s liberation because that day is painful for her. She seems to be lacking a sense of purpose. Ahsoka probably saw these things and realised she couldn’t commit, hence leaving her. The fact that Sabine and Huyang confirm that she never showed any Force sensitivity is just salt in the wound. So I guess that still begs the question: what happened to make them initially train together in the first place?

I love how Huyang makes sad eyes when Ahsoka talks about how she left the Jedi (I think he does it in other scenes too but this was when it stood out to me the most). “Sometimes even the right reasons have the wrong consequences” I think is a standout line for sure, Ahsoka definitely still feels guilt for Vader’s existence. I wouldn’t be surprised if this is affecting a lot of her decisions, like her lack of faith in Sabine (maybe she’s afraid that being taught by the Jedi who became Vader would cause her to create that again?).

Oh yeah, Ahsoka saying she did some stuff that wasn’t very Jedi to get the map info from Elsbeth... yeah, still no Jedi, apparently. Even if she’s gotta get dark.

When Sabine reacts to Ahsoka mentioning the Nightsisters, I definitely think she was thinking back to the creepy ghost possessing her.

Shin is obviously young and seems quite impressionable, always asking questions and needing to know what to do from her superiors, so she’s still clearly inexperienced. She definitely wrecked Sabine there, though. Cue someone complaining about another character surviving a stab wound when characters like Qui-Gon never did or whatever.

I do think it’s cool that Sabine is still showing her wide skillset to do things like analyse the map and get info out of the HK assassin droid head. The one to one with Hera was nice too. I like that Hera thinks they’re gonna work best if they’re together and she’s trying to make that happen, heck even Huyang is. Lol at Hera also saying that them both being difficult is what she thought would “make it work”.

We catch up with Elsbeth on Seatos, who has some big teases and reveals. She describes the location she’s showing the map with it as being built by people from a distant galaxy millennia ago. So yeah, Star Wars is finally going extragalactic, at least in a major way. Seems Thrawn and Ezra wound up in this distant galaxy these people that traveled here did (I wonder if the connection between the Arcana and Seatos locations implies the Nightsisters also built this, implying that they themselves are extragalactic... which is one big can of worms to open for sure).

So Baylan describes the route they’re taking as the “Pathway to Peridea”. IDK if Peridea is this new galaxy or a specific world or place in it, but yeah. Apparently even the Jedi had stories about this.

Elsbeth acts and sounds very witchy, appropriate for a Nightsister. In a particularly eerie moment, she says Thrawn “calls to her” (which must be how she knows all of this shit to even get to him in the first place, how she knew she needed the map with the right route to this galaxy and all that) and even describes it as being from “across time and space”. Those specific words make me wonder if there’s some World Between Worlds type shit going on. Also what is even calling to her? Is it really Thrawn, or someone from this distant galaxy? If this IS Thrawn, what does this mean for him? What has he found that is enabling him to reach out this far?

Morgan is constructing a ship called the Eye of Sion to travel to Peridea, one that is pretty huge and requires hyperdrives of super star destroyers. Side note, but it’s cool that the villains seem to be ahead of the heroes here. And this is even without Thrawn’s strategic genius.

Okay, hiring a Jewish actor to play your shady businessman character... I think someone should’ve thought about the optics of that a bit more.

That one questionable casting choice aside, I do think it’s an interesting idea to have ex-Imperials who are still loyal to the Empire still working in places like these shipyards. Big structural change is hard, and it tracks with the New Republic we’ve seen to rush things and overlook things like this.

We see Chopper again, which is cool.

Huyang saying “Lady Tano” gives me Maul flashbacks, lol.

Sabine feels like Ahsoka came back just because she was useful to her, and well Huyang’s account of things certainly doesn’t help that (because it WAS Hera’s idea to let Sabine know the news). Also, Sabine cutting her hair and putting her armour back on. The haircut definitely called back to Kanan’s for sure.

The final conversation between Bayland and Elsbeth was interesting too. Through these episodes I’m definitely getting the impression Baylan is following some kind of code, or at least isn’t just simply just a bad guy there to do bad guy things. Honestly, Shin has seemed more ruthless so far, lol. But especially when he says stuff like “it would be a shame to kill [Ahsoka]” and how he doesn’t immediately attack in the opening scene of the first episode is intriguing. Anyway, the giant hyperdrive ring that is the Eye of Sion seems close to completion, I have a feeling next week it might be.

I do like the tone the show’s going for. It’s no Andor, but it does feel a bit more serious than The Mandalorian, with more scenes that slow down for character beats and such. Also appreciate that they’re truly trying to make this feel epic, even for a TV show filmed in the volume. Filoni is definitely getting better directing live-action, and of course after her Boba Fett outing Steph Green is great. It definitely is adding to the Space Opera feel more than say the Space Western that is The Mandalorian.

So yeah, enjoyed this premiere! Goddammit Filoni, still finding ways to suck me in. :P

[theangryjikooker]

Hey, TAJ!

How have you been?

I know the past several months have been crazy in all spaces (might be crazier now, if I'm being honest, and I'm talking about everyone), but I'm glad you're back to sharing your thoughts.

Have you had the chance to listen to Face and D-Day? May I know your thoughts about them?

Also, are you anticipating the release of JK's album? I'm wondering what kind of direction he's decided on.

I've been feeling that the timing for the release of the members' albums to be very tight, though, I understand that they have a timeline.

Thank you!

Hi! Everything is great with me, I can’t complain (outside of the Internet anyway lol). Hope all is the same for you. :)

So, disclaimer, my feelings are based on my musical preferences. I just know some people are going to take this personally because they’ve made it their mission that music is not a subjective art form at all.

For some background, my listening pattern tends to be that I loop things for an indeterminate amount of time upon initial release. Eventually, I no longer have the interest to loop things and start getting selective about tracks I really like and shove them into my shuffled BTS playlist. If I really love something, I also add it to my like tracks, which is more extensive and spans different genres. I often switch between my specific and liked playlists because my listening style makes it very easy to get bored.

“Just change it,” one might say.

If I could, I would, but I also don’t want to. I’ve been like this since I was a kid. It’s also very rare that I listen to whole albums and like every single song. I cannot stress this enough, though I can confirm that this has been achieved by several OT7 albums. Prior to these, however, I was raised on classical vinyl records, and I don’t quite count them as “albums” in the way we understand them today. Make of that what you will.

Anyway, point being, my listening style and ultimately how I organize songs after the initial novelty has worn off is definitely a reflection of my long-term interest.

And I should hope that many of you are adult enough to understand that not liking everything an artist puts out does not make someone any less of a fan. Purists are not invited in this house; if you have an issue with it, go to someone who’ll pander to you.

All this said, I’ve listened to both albums.

When FACE and D-Day were released, both followed the aforementioned pattern. I agreed with the sentiment that FACE didn’t sound like your typical Kpop genre. Jimin has always defied expectations in that regard. Visually and conceptually, FACE was excellent, but knowing what Jimin is capable of, I was also expecting something a bit more, musically. I’m not saying the album was bad, but it was different. I think, for that reason, I’ve mostly been undecided, even though I did add the majority of the album to my BTS playlist. Except for “Letter”—shipping aside, it’s very beautiful. It’s a shame it wasn’t released as a stand-alone because I probably would have given it near infinite plays, and it would’ve found a spot in my liked playlist as well.

If I were to take anything away from this, it’s that I’m more interested in what his sophomore album will look and sound like, now that he has a taste of the process and has the experience.

D-Day is a very strong album, but keep in mind that Yoongi (like the hyung line) has a lot of experience under his belt. That’s natural. But for a while, with the exception of “Daechwita” and “People” off D-2, I had a hard time connecting to the tracks released under Agust D. FOR SHAME, I know. It wasn’t until D-Day that I was able to listen to D-2 and the self-titled album with a different mindset, which also affected my renewed appreciation for them. D-Day, however, is the superior installment of the trilogy. Maybe it’s cheating, but I think it also helped immensely that I was given free passes for the Agust D tour, which I hadn’t anticipated on attending. But free is free, what can I say. There’s a reason why music and live performances are crucial to an artist and their art. Sometime ago, a lot of people here assumed Yoongi was my bias, despite how rarely I talked about him. He wasn’t, and over time I gradually accepted that I didn’t really have one. Now? I can say that statement probably resonates with me a lot more these days.

And of course I’m interested in what Jungkook’s cooking up. I maintain that his voice is appealing to big western production, so I’m thinking we might see something that fits that particular palate? But the thing with Jungkook is that he’s been exploring sound and allegedly having a hand in the instrumentals, which only serves to expand his range, so my previous assumptions on his album might already be outdated.

[bluewithpurplepolkadots]

One thing I really liked about the ROTTMNT movie is that it had a version of Casey Jones who was closer to a different turtle than usual (Leonardo to Casey Jones rather than Raphael).

So a part of me wondered about that.

Usually a human will be closer or at least interact more with a turtle: Karai is mostly with Leo; and April with Donnie but what if there were versions which further mixed things up like ROTTMNT did? So I came up with these versions of the turtles and humans being closer/with their favourite turtle instead being:

Leonardo and April

Raphael and Irma

Donatello and Karai

Michelangelo and Casey

Leo and April:

Leonardo is the oldest and the leader like in most incarnations. It’s in more recent years put a wall between him and his brothers he doesn’t care for. As well as the expectation of being ‘a good example’ all the time. At first kind of worries he’s boring too and just feels so dang lonely all the time.

April, a year older than him, is an only child and at one stage was on track to being a doctor/lawyer/something equally high societally praised and snapped one day from the pressure. It resulted in a juvenile record, possibly dashing chances at the future her parents wanted and being unsure of what she herself wants. She was sent to New York to stay with relatives away from her more rural part of the state for a new start. She’s unsure of what she wants in life and what to do. She’s smart but hated the expectations placed on her and knows the doctor/lawyer track wasn’t it for her. She also hates how other kids in school seem to think they know her because of her past.

After the classic case of being saved by the turtles she decided she wants to learn to defend herself better and Leo pretty much takes charge of her beginning training when asked: causing them to grow closer. April in addition helps Leo to chill because she sees the signs of a potential future snap all too well. Together she introduces him to the mystic art of trashy detective movies and dance costume parties and ignoring that annoying part of your brain that isn’t in your best interest about having to be perfect.

Their mutual interest in detectives does point April in the classic arc of becoming an investigative reporter along with occasional mysterious camera man Leo who never appears on screen both while using their ninja skills.

Kind of the incarnation of that one blog post where you are only truly best friends if people think or are unsure if you’re dating but there is never in fact any kind of confirmation for or against this for the audience or anyone else. They just hug a lot. And maybe hold hands. Don’t worry about it. (If I was an official creator I’d fully expect to be murdered by both shippers and anti shippers because of it).

April paints Leo’s nails like all the time though Mikey likes his done too.

Raphael and Irma

Irma usually interacted most with Donatello in the 80s show but instead in this version interacts most with angry hothead Raphael (and isn’t a Kraang bot like 2012).

Kind of slightly based on my rewrite of 2012 Irma in that she is a computer expert.

Becomes friends through April: who she becomes friends with because if you need dirt, she’s got it. Because ‘Honestly April the things I know about these other kids? Your record is nothing. They need to get over themselves’

Irma in personality is kind of like Pinkie Pie on pixie sticks in this version however which Raphael finds very very annoying at first: but eventually has some respect for her intimidation skills without any kind of physical prowess (I know your internet history is a phrase which often strikes terror).

They play video games a lot as an outlet for Raphs competitive streak and rage and Irma likes to troll him: a lot. In fact they find out they know each other through online co-op games before they even met. It’s kind of like exposure therapy in a sense. They also watch horrible horrible romantic soaps/movies and argue about shipping but it becomes more like fun than anything.

Unfortunately Irma (having a somewhat romantic streak) does catch feelings for him which are unreturned: but they work through it eventually. They still remain friends.

Donatello and Karai

Time for some angst! Donatello doesn’t like humans very much in this version to begin with. He did once. He thought they were amazing and the things they made were amazing. (And still begrudgingly agrees with the latter).

But as a seven year old he one day dragged Mikey out of the sewers without permission and had a very traumatic experience with regards horrible human teenagers (Mikey was also badly hurt and it basically had a crying Donnie over a knocked out Mikey until Splinter saved them). As a result does not care for them. At all. Is unsure of April and rebuffs Irma despite her computer skills. And still feels guilt for the incident even if Mikey seems to have moved on completely.

Donatello steals a lot. He kind of has to anyway in order to get the stuff he’s made but it does become a point of contention with him and Leo (more for the risks really but it gets Donnies hackles up, Raphael and Mike kind of sweat when it comes up).

Karai, while also being human doesn’t seem to care for other humans either. (Interesting). Eventually they sort of have an ally ship where they sometimes are breaking into the same places and it’s kind of like in their best interest for neither of them to be caught. Temporary ally ships which continue to run into each other.

They also become deeply deeply emo together and talk garbage about humanity a lot. It’s… interesting but in pretending they don’t care together they become a sort of friends. Donnie is now friends with a human. Whoops.

Karai isnt related to the turtles or Splinter but is either a direct clone of Tang Shen or Shredder’s daughter from the deranged man combining their DNA in a lab without Tang Shen knowing (whichever is creepier and more deranged sounding honestly).

Karai takes a lot of risks and eventually this disturbs even Donatello: and the truth is because of faulty equipment in her creation it’s possible she won’t see 20 and it terrifies her. Donatello now caring for a human wants to solve this. Karai eventually risks her life saving the one person she cares about against her father.

Mikey and Casey

A break from the angst for some simple dudes.

The ultimate ‘broooooo’ coupling with Raph occasionally asking if they are stoned or something because Jesus Christ.

Casey does do his classic run around in a hockey mask and Mikey occasionally knows the terror of having to be the responsible one. Casey just kind of… showed up one day. On the couch eating with Mikey. No explanation. He was just there. Irma and April are equally as weirded out by this as Leo and Raph but kind of have to throw up their hands at it. Casey Jones just happens sometimes.

Like April and Leo initially seem just like very close friends who cuddle but eventually turn out to be a couple with Jones now having three older bros and sisters give him the shovel talk. (Irma who also has a soft spot for Mikey is the one to actually make him terrified).

Splinter is very very tired.

[loganthrives]

Wanted to let you know that I did get around to watching it and I am absolutely on board with you here. I need a season 2.

Spoilers for the show under the cut for anyone who hasn't seen it (psst you should go see it):

I love how each person's individual story and perspective is thoroughly examined, and how each of them have different responses to the situations they are in. Azi's initial response was to try and stubbornly 'tame' the land around her, to grow her tomatoes and fend off the wildlife from what she considered to be her patch, her farm, etc. It wasn't until the farm was destroyed and she was forced to realize Levi was less following orders and more self-actualizing that she realized that she could work with the environment instead of against it. The distress calls she sends out feels like a stubborn admission of "I'm trying my hardest but I don't think I can do this alone", or maybe just a desperate plea that her one friend on the ship is still alive and can reach her, especially with how closely she guards the book she gave her.

Levi might be my favourite character actually because I've got a real soft spot for machines and androids gaining sentience/free will and proper personhood in fiction, even moreso when that is acknowledged and respected by their people. I cringed when Azi was trying to remove the stuff from Levi's circuits, as if she was literally pulling bits of his brain off, of his personality, and I loved how he immediately set the boundary for her not to do that unless there was a serious issue once he was turned back on. Azi on her own was stubborn and not really interested in getting along with the environment, but Levi opened her up to it to the point where she was able to figure out on her own that the fish would help clean up her infection before it got any worse. Like its really interesting to see the shift in her perspective from asking if what he's experiencing is an error or irregularity in his programming, to asking him to keep singing and to share any songs he comes up with with her.

And then there's the scavengers Azi meets at the end of the season. They're all archetypes as well. Kris following a very rugged and destructive archetype of 'you can't keep up then you're not worth the effort of saving you' and how that impacts the other two members of her team. She's not totally heartless though, and will stop to try and help if one of them gets into a bad situation, and I was on her side about the voice recorder multiple times as it was obvious he was getting off track and distracted when they still very much in a survival situation in an environment trying its damnedest to kill them (and succeeding in Terrence's case). But as soon as he's gone, you can see that he was the compassionate one who held the group together and she's the blunt dictator with an impressionable young kid she's working to mould to be as emotionless as she expects herself to be. She thinks she's a mountain that can weather the storm but the storm hasn't come yet.

I love Ursula's ability to stop and smell the roses, and how much that contrasts with Sam's (not unjustifiably) bullheaded attitude towards their situation. They've obviously spent some time working within the rules of the environment with how much is intuitive for both of them in the first scenes of the show, like they know exactly what they need, how it works, and how to get access to it, but Sam's approach is like a blunt instrument whereas Ursula's is able to stop and take it in and be curious about it. Its very refreshing to have a character who's in an obviously dangerous situation to be able to have that curiosity and wonder still about her. And she's no slouch either - for one of the softest and sweetest characters in the show with her compassion and caretaking of Sam while he's going through it, multiple times, she puts up the most fight of anyone when the situation calls for it.

I think Sam's frustration and angry spats are a result of the guilt he feels for not being able to recover from the damage from the solar flare on Kamen's new course, and the thought of how many people must be dead because of what happened. As much as he's committed to getting to the ship as quickly as possible after remotely triggering the landing, he still insists that they stop to honour the dead crew in the pod they find. While Ursula stops to smell the roses, he only stops to honour the human cost of the accident, to check the weight of his own guilt as the leader of the crew. Its very telling that the first thing he asked Ursula when they crashed together was "should I have stayed up there?", as if checking if he should've gone down with the ship to pay for his perceived/self-inflicted crimes. I love how that question is also used to motivate him to do the final stretch of the journey, instead of what he was going to set himself up for in that cave at the whim of his new little friend...

And freaking Kamen. Man. Selfish person through and through, obviously regretful but not enough to justify the things he's done. I feel like the series is setting him up to have some kind of redemption maybe (and I was hopeful for it when Charlie found him), but the alien he's being puppeted by removed that potentiality real quick. And yet, while the alien is very much on some kind of warpath right now against other humans and their technology it seems, in the beginning I was like "Oh its manipulating him, that's not cool", but then I had to remember that that's just how these things work to survive and get food is by manipulating other creatures to get it for them. So the alien itself, while its actions and the consequences of them are bad, may not have an understanding of good or evil and is literally just working on the instincts its developed in order to ensure its own survival. Can't honestly fault it for that. Like, just because its using Kamen's memories to manipulate him doesn't mean that it understands the broader context of those memories or why its been effective. Taking that into consideration, its possible that its destruction of Levi and the scavengers' ship is just it either ensuring that no other humans can take its human away, who has proven to be very effective at killing bigger and bigger creatures for its meals, or that others of its kind cannot take control of a human for themselves. Their relationship is interestingly symbiotic too apparently, because when Kamen started to show signs of resisting, it took him inside itself and is preserving and even sustaining him somehow, for who knows what end.

I need to know how all of the current plot threads tie up, or even how they get worse. Thank you very much for your earnest and heartfelt recommendation 💜

[jbblackwell]

KISS - Music from Fridays 1982 (franKENstein Redux) from KENN NARDI on Vimeo.

I consider myself a "charter Elder fan", meaning I got the album on release day back in 1981 and loved it from the beginning. I had been a fan since 1977 and after I watched most of my friends jump ship after Dynasty (and the rest long gone by Unmasked) I felt like the only KISS fan left in the world.

I had seen photos of the band in 16 Magazines showing their new makeup and costumes and wondering what to expect. I went to the local Music Vision and got the new single "A World Without Heroes". For me, anything new from KISS was beyond exciting and I liked what I heard. Even better, the B-side was a new song by my hero Ace. This music was fresh to my ears and even though I was only 12-going-on-13 I personally liked this more "musical" version of the band. Eric's drumming was really cool on "Dark Light" and Ace's solo was great. I also liked Gene's "mellow" voice which reminded me of some of my favorite songs from his '78 solo album.

Shortly after that, the album was released. I remember going to the store 2 or 3 days in a row asking about it, but it seemed to be a couple days late in arriving. Finally, I got it and instantly fell in love with the music. Having discovered stuff like Pink Floyd's the Wall (still my favorite album of all time) I though it was great to hear something a bit "deeper" from the guys than "Shout It Out Loud". I had even formed my first band that same year which I called "ODYSSEY" because of the song. I should also mention I was one of those unfortunate fans who got the LP with the clear sleeve, but NO lyric sheet. I still didn't know some of the words until the Internet was born many years later.

I also can remember like it was yesterday watching Fridays when it aired and being beyond thrilled to see KISS on TV (not that common back then). Plus...three new songs played! The perfect "Elder sandwich" of the opener ("the Oath"), closer ("I") and the middle track "A World Without Heroes". I don't care what anyone says, I agree with the record label and the album MUST have the 1981 US running order. The "original" Japanese release is horrible. It sounds like climbing up a very long hill to find nothing at the top. As for the "story line", for me "The Oath" sets the stage and gives a great overview of what's to come (as told through the rest of the songs). The musical balance is perfect in that order. It flows great and begins and ends with a bang. I consider "The Oath" to be proto-power-metal with its riffing, drumming and lyrical content. Musically speaking, the album overall was incredibly influential on my own writing throughout the years.

So, here is my version of the Fridays appearance, upscaled to 1080p.

For the audio, I wanted to remix and recreate the sound for a stereo mix. To do this I had to borrow a bit of Paul's guitar from the album. Ace's guitar dominates the original mix, so it was isolated and used for his parts. Paul's rhythm parts on "The Oath" and "I" are taken from the album, but edited to match his playing as he does a few things differently live (mostly due to his over-the-top theatrics, ha). Ace was also badly out of tune (or bending the stings) on a lot of parts, so I did some cut-and-paste work replacing the rougher spots with better parts where the same things are played.

Gene's bass is 100% from the show as are Eric's drums, which I have augmented using kick, snare, tom and cymbal samples I created rather than using "modern" samples. These are blended with his original drums.

For "A World Without Heroes" a stereo guitar/keyboard mix was created using the parts from the show mixed with some from the album to get separation (the show actually did have keyboards). I tweaked Paul's solo slightly just to fix up a couple bum notes and also blended his album solo very low to give a bit of the same ambiance since his tone is very dry on the show.

Even in 1982, as I watched the show I could tell the singing was a bit "off" in places. Particularly Paul, who comes out of the gate hot, singing uncharacteristically sharp all over "The Oath" with Ace's very loud and out of tune guitar not helping. So, for this version, I borrowed a few words from the 3rd verse where he re-sings the same lyrics and blended it with the rest to make the first verse a little more on-key. Gene also gets the same treatment for his 2nd "and you don't know why you don't know". I also used very small bit the album vocal tracks for a few words that were missing or very low in the mix due to the guys not being on-mic at time. I also blended a VERY small bit of the background vocals from the album on "I" just to fill them out a bit.

As I always say, these videos are NOT for the purists. This performance is MOSTLY true to the original, but approached the same way KISS might approach an official release, with just a bit of "clean-up" for a more enjoyable experience. The original is readily available, so this in no way is intended to replace it or re-write "kisstory".

Enjoy!

[cavefilllingcorporation]

The Board's first recorded meeting

CEO: Are we recording. Good. Alright, let’s do a head count, just to see who is here…

The Dimension Master: No need for a slow headcount boss, everybody is here. Well, everybody except for… HIM, but that’s not a bad thing, is it?

CEO: No, it is not. Well then ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the first in-person board meeting that will be recorded for our investors.

The Admiral: This better be worth it. I had to leave my ship to be here.

CEO: We have a lot to discuss, much of which will be behind closed doors, but we should probably preface the meeting with a bunch of smaller issues that the investors will be privy to. The big stuff, rather than all of the small budgeting issues we have to sort out.

A slight pause

CEO: Alright, first on the list, the supervisor from the Default Project forwarded this to us. She is requesting that the weapons shop, the church, and the mayor’s office be kept.

The Extrovert: And why would we do that again? I mean, we are going to destroy everything, right?

CEO: Well, the church has had frequent use as some of the workers are picking up the world’s religion-

The Dimension Master: Bad idea. They aren’t actually deities, but whatever.

CEO: …Yes, we know. Anyways, they are using it regardless, and the supervisor is making her office in the mayor’s home. She’s also using a nearby weapon shop as an armory “Just in Case.”

The General: Shouldn’t we investigate that armory situation?

The Supreme Supervisor: I already did. She’s fine.

CEO: Well, that was the only concern I had. I think that otherwise this is a reasonable request.

Discussion and approval noises

The Extrovert: Well, it’s going to be destroyed eventually, so I guess that’s fine.

The General: Wait… if they are asking about those buildings. They’re close to finishing the Capital city, aren’t they?

CEO: Well, I’m not going to spoil things for our investors, but let’s just say we can expect an update in the coming weeks.

The Extrovert: Finally! We’ve been working on that forever, and now we actually get to see some progress!

The Admiral: I refuse to believe it. We’re seriously seeing progress now? It’d better be good.

The Dimension Master: Unfortunately, it’s not going to be huge progress, even though we’ve been working for months on this. That’s what happens when the only way to keep track of progress is borked out of our minds! That being said, with the uneven way we’re keeping progress, I’m sure we’ll catch up sooner than later!

The Extrovert: Speaking of progress, wasn’t the percentage progress for C8H called into question?

The Supreme Supervisor: That’s been handled, and it’s fine. May be a little skewed like Default’s, but that was to be expected anyways. I think that our Founders would like to discuss this off-recording, right?

The Dimension Master: Righty-O! At least the details, I’m sure. Anyways, let’s get back onto the next topic! Take it away boss!

CEO: Actually, we’ll be discussing the reason for that scare at the end of the recording. The percentage details will be private though. But for now, we should move on.

Papers are stacked and hit on desk.

CEO: Next, we should discuss some budget cuts. I know we’re going to talk about most of them privately, but there is one the investors should be aware of.

The Admiral: Is it the Robotics program.

CEO: Sighs, Yes, it is the Robotics Program.

The Admiral: Finally! We’re finished with that waste of time! Seriously, tech pillaged from Super Earth is better than the junk coming from there.

The Grand Director: I mean, those designs came from us, not from [The Tinkerer].

The Admiral: Yeah, doesn’t make them any less useless, especially when they are designed by an idiot. Screw that, a bunch of idiots. Who drinks and decides going to the lab is a good idea?

CEO: Your opinion is noted [The Admiral]. However, that’s not the reason why we have to consider shutting this down. The majority of the useful robotics were not only designed for the Maintenance Hanger, but they are also not really ready yet. The problem is that they are taking too long. When we had the designs in mind, we thought that the robotics would be easy to design, and the entire set would be complete within a month. That is clearly not the case.

The Admiral: What, you seriously thought that [The Tinkerer] could produce two dozen robots that fast?

CEO: Yes, that is what he promised. Clearly, we underestimated his and his team’s abilities, and with things as tense as they are, we can’t afford to be wasting funding on useless things.

The Scientist: Hang on, didn’t we already talk about just a reduced load recently? And now we’re just going to cancel everything?

CEO: All of the robots that were left were going to be sold to help pay for ship production. But at this rate, it’s better to redirect the money to other ventures and get more profit to pay for the ships that way.

The Scientist: Can we at least wait a little longer? [The Tinkerer] is currently working on some experimental modifications, with some sort of “grand surprise.” Surely, we can let him work on that?

The Grand Director: I thought he was working on this surprise for a week now?

The Scientist: In his defense, he was waiting on an electronics shipment that came in yesterday. He should be working on it now. He’s even calling it a magnus opus.

The Admiral: It better not be like the last “magnus opus” he had. I still think that ball-bearing powered computer is a complete waste of space.

CEO: Alright, we’ll wait, but no more than two weeks. Now, onto the next topic, new technology. Specifically, a new satellite system.

The Admiral: You mean modifications to the Crates in order to turn them into part-time satellites.

CEO: Yes, essentially the same thing. We’re hoping that the mapping systems that are created from this will benefit everyone.

The Supreme Supervisor: It won’t unfortunately. Even if the satellite system manages to break into MazeRun’s magic shielding, if the terrorists there get wind of the systems, it will only rally their cause. We’ve had threats regarding the subject. Still, it should improve other things, such as the Default project, the Shattered Isles, and more.

The Extrovert: I’m just surprised that the investors didn’t hear of this sooner via a post.

CEO: We didn’t have any room to inform them before. This is experimental technology anyways. Once we have proven that it is effective, we’ll deploy it Corporation-wide and demonstrate it to the investors. {Real reason: Schedule’s full, and too many stories to tell to squeeze that in there! Sorry!}

There is a silence for half a minute, before the CEO stacks some papers.

CEO: Anyways, now to get to that point about C8H having some issues. This is mostly due to a major deal that went through. As you know, we are limited to a certain area on that planet. However, after some arrangements, we have tripled the size of our working area.

The Introvert: Are you sure that’s a good idea? What about the Cave Fillers? They’ll have to deal with caves that were outside of the impact zone. Those won’t be fun to fill.

CEO: I’m sure they will be fine. Worst case scenario, we wait until we get more stone from a project being complete to fill caves with. With a cloudhouse being used to store the stone until the Inferno Project is finished, they’ll have plenty of stone to use anyways.

The Dimension Master: Alright, we’re done with the boring news. Now get to the good stuff!

CEO: Alright, alright. Well, our financial people decided to go ahead and run a theoretical estimate of how much the Solar Isles will produce in terms of goods. And… it’s a lot.

The General: Like… how much?

CEO: Enough to buy approximately… 90 dragon eggs.

The room erupts into noises of confusion and wonder.

The Extrovert: 90 Eggs? That’s the most profitable venture we’ve had since… ever!

The General: Well then, glad my boys could be such use to you. Wish you could do something similar, ey [The Admiral]?

The Admiral: You collected stuff once, I routinely sell stuff, it’s not a competition! (It should be noted that these words were spit out with venom)

The Introvert: I had my worries with this bonus operation but… I can’t deny the results.

The Supreme Director: They’re not workers anyways, so it just works out perfectly! I say we go ahead and do this for all of our Hero League missions!

The Introvert: I don’t know… we’d have to put that in the terms and conditions of our contracts, and who would agree to their valuables being taxed?

The General: These operations aren’t common; I can’t see that reducing our operations that fast! Besides, we only do them when we want to add another project to our list. Otherwise, it’s a side project!

CEO: Alright, all in favor of making the looting operation the new standard?

Sounds of the general audience agreeing, with nobody saying no.

The General: And we’re still all in for Round 2 with dimension warping, right?

CEO: Yes, once the Anti-Project Plan is finished. That was never in doubt.

The General: Good.

CEO: Alright, I believe that concludes the recorded section of the meeting. However, for the investors who are listening, don’t worry about missing the rest. This involves precise budget discussion, list of potential buyers for our products, and so on. If something here comes up that is your concern, we will let you know. With that, thank you for listening to our meeting, and we hope that you have had a wonderful time! Please give us your input for what direction the company should take if you have one. See you later!

The Admiral: This probably could have been an email. Just saying.