#what characters would you remove from the show (not Sam or Dean)?

[watching-sam-and-dean-again]

So, this little ditty has been floating around in my Twitter orbit, and people’s replies are pretty much what would be expected from something like this in the SPN "Family". Before I get into some of the trends I saw, I want to note a few points I saw made along the way. One person said that Ruby should have just been one character on the last row, and Meg should be included, and I agree. I also saw someone point out that Sam and Dean shouldn’t even be on the list. I agree with that statement, too, because the show is about them, so we technically shouldn’t be able to remove either. Finally, I think there could easily be about two more rows of characters on this list to consider from, but it is what it is.

(Souce)

Anyway, let’s get back to what I found in the replies and quotes. You have a good number of people with what I consider to be pretty reasonable selections. For example, pretty much everyone gets rid of Samuel, Gordon, and Kevin. I pretty much agree with these. Kevin is fine but compared to Death (iconic), Rowena (very popular), and Sam Fucking Winchester the poor guy just can’t compete. Gordon is a murdery jerk, and Samuel is a bag of dicks. Then we have our legions removing John because, well, he gets hate from almost every side, so while I don’t agree with removing him, personally, I’m not surprised either. Many many people remove Mary, which again, is understandable for me. There is a fair amount of Castiel removal (more of my thoughts on that later). Finally, out of the more reasonable responses, a lot of people remove Ruby 2, which I have mixed feelings about.

Then we get into the ridiculous takes. More people than a show about brothers, that couldn’t even exist without Sam, chose Sam. I’m sorry but, eat shit. There ain’t no Dean if ain’t no Sam, and there ain’t no show if there ain’t no Sam. Take your AA ass or shipping delusions and go. Next, we have the people who crossed out literally everyone except for Dean (excuse me while I roll my eyes), everyone in the Winchester family except for Dean, everyone except "Dean's boyfriends" (excuse me while i roll my eyes so hard I get a migraine), and everyone but Dean and Castiel (you guys can see my response above. It starts with an "E" and ends with a "shit"). This is a bad take because besides the fact that you can’t have the show at all without Sam, you also need the Winchester family as a whole if you’re going to have Dean because so much of his character is informed by them. Finally, we have the people who crossed out everyone except for Sam. Honestly, I think this was done more in response to the hellers and AAs, but, come on guys, the show wouldn’t work with just Sam either. And as much as I love him, he isn’t the only good or necessary character.

Anyway, this got me overthinking thinking about my own responses, and I realized that it wasn’t that easy for me to pick. I ended up having to think of this "assignment" from a few angles: who is least necessary to the story, who overstays their welcome the longest, and who just annoys me? Now, it wasn’t always clear which criteria the people who answered on Twitter were using, but most seemed to be looking at it from one of these angles.

So, I’m going to put my responses from each of these angles under the cut, as well as some of my reasoning (because I’m me and I can’t just do the activity WITHOUT some kind of commentary on it … sorry). So, if you’re interested, please do see my thoughts below. If you’re not interested, but want to do this for yourself, feel free to use the image I posted above, but just include the source if you post it.

First, while I really enjoy Benny, I had to remove him in this case because I don’t think he fundamentally changes Dean or Sam. He come between them, yes, but it’s not even his fault that he does, rather it’s because of Sam and Dean's own issues. Purgatory effects Dean more than Benny. Second, I already said Samuel is a bag of dicks, and I’ll stick to that. Mitch seems like a sweetheart, but Grandaddy Winchester sucks. Third, While Bella is a good foil for the boys in Season 3, and the show could have done more with her character, she doesn’t have a lot of impact on the greater scheme of things. Fourth, Kevin does have a place in the plot as a prophet, but the other two play a more significant role in either their impact on the boys or the plot (and I wasn’t crossing off Sam). Finally, I had to chose Gordon, even though I like how he is used in Seasons 2 and 3, Ruby and Crowley have more lasting impact on the boys and the story overall.

A lot of characters are either underutilized on Supernatural, or they stay so long that there isn’t anything left to do with their character but make them worse. My first pick is Mary for this because, while I don’t mind the idea of bringing her back in theory, the execution was … lacking. I don’t think her coming back did a lot for her character. Yes we get to see Dean tell her he loves her and hates her, and we get to see her ignore Sam unless he’s supporting her, and we get to see her put literally everyone before her boys, but … well, you get my point, I think. I chose Samuel because after him being in the story in "In The Beginning", I don’t love how the show used him, and The Campbells story line didn’t amount to much. Third, both Lucifer and Castiel overstayed their welcome in similar ways, for me. Both had a couple of natural end points that the show could have just stuck with: Luficer/Nick in Season 5, Season 7 when Sam stopped hallucinating, and at the end of Season 13; and Cass in Season 7 and at the end of Season 12. Both of their stories could have had stronger finishes if ended more definitively sooner. If I had to pick, I think Nick in Season 14 is the most egregious over staying of an SPN character's welcome. Forth, I chose Rowena not because she stayed too late into the show exactly, but because she has some side story and early story beats that I wasn’t very invested in. Finally, it pains me, but I have to say from this list, that Crowley outstayed his welcome the longest. Or rather, the writers stopped knowing what to do with his character, wasted at least a season on bad side plots with him, then had the character go out on a whimper.

Okay, here’s my last criterion for this simple little twitter activity. First, I’ve seen a lot of people cross of Lisa with relish, but honestly, I think she was a pretty decent person and put up with quite a lot. And it was so real of her to know the score: "As soon as Sam walked back through that door, I knew it was over…" (or something like that). I’ve also seen people say that Dean's "one who got away" should have been Casey, and while I think that’s a fair argument, Cassy pretty much told him to beat it in Season 1. Anyway, I chose Mary here for the reasons described in the last section, and for her generally sulky demeanor and ignoring of Sam. Second, sorry, Samuel, but for reasons already discussed, plus you trying to trade your grandson's lives to a demon, you gotta go. Third, we have Lucifer and Cass once more sharing my ire. If we are talking Season 12 Lucy, or who-gives-a-shit-about-this-storyline Nick, than Mark P has to go. However, if we are talking only late seasons Castiel, he has to go for the crimes of becoming an under-powered angel, letting Sam get killed by mutant vamps and not caring at all, and becoming a generally boring simp. It’s a toss up. Fourth, Kevin, I’m sorry, I’m adding fuel to any fans out there campaigning for "justice for Kevin." I don’t dislike Kevin, I just Like OG Death and later seasons Rowena more. Finally, this might be controversial, but I like most of Gordon's episodes and I like what he reveals about Sam and Dean. The character is a jerk, but I like how he’s used. Also, I picked the original Ruby, even though I think she’s stronger than Gen acting-wise because her characterization of her is so no-nonsense and harsh, that I wouldn’t have bought Sam being manipulated by her in the same way as Gen's Ruby. I can’t see Sam and that version of Ruby hooking up or her working him the in the same way.

Anyway, if you actually read this far, many thanks. I know these kinds of things don’t interest everyone, but there is a little meta commentary mixed in here.

If anyone is interested in participating, I’d love to see who you would eliminate and for what reasons! Are there any characters not pictured who you would remove? Why?

[sofreddie]

Not What You Wanted - Part 1

Summary: Being a fan from Ourverse, Chuck brings Y/N to the Supernatural world, but she's determined not to be a pawn.

Characters: Reader, Chuck, Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester, Castiel

Warnings: AU, Angst, Fluff

WC: 3,195

A/N: A new series! I love writing the 'fan reader' stories. It's so much fun, and I'm so excited to hear your thoughts. There will be pairings, and the tags will change, but I don't want to give anything away at the start. Enjoy!

Series Masterlist

Y/N stood in a wooded area with a canvas backpack slung on her right shoulder, her hand wrapping around it tightly, clinging to it for dear life. She couldn’t believe the mess she had landed in. God - or Chuck as he insisted on being called - had snapped his little fingers and poofed her into his presence.

“You just need to be there for the Winchesters,” Chuck shrugged with a smile that attempted to comfort but came across as suspicious. “Easy for a fangirl, right?” 

She growled in irritation, dropped to one knee, and looked at her wooded surroundings again before searching through the bag Chuck had provided her. It contained several survival-type items—matches, a Zippo lighter, a small notepad, and a cheap pen—and a few items of clothing that she recognized as her comfy favorites from her wardrobe back home.

She thought, Back home, realizing it was a different universe away, and she wasn’t sure how she would return. The Winchesters could help, but she had no intention of seeking them out. That’s precisely what Chuck wanted, and she didn’t trust him. She also didn’t want to impose herself on them.

“No, I won’t help you manipulate them,” Y/N seethed at the deity. In the back of her mind, she was screaming at herself to stop antagonizing God of all people. People? But she couldn’t help her anger and protectiveness over her favorite heroes.

“You will,” he insisted, suddenly reaching out a hand and placing it flat against her sternum.

She screamed out in pain, dropping to her knees, but his hand never left her. She thought she was being tortured or possibly killed, but then he removed his hand, and she dropped forward on her hands, trying to catch her breath.

Rising to her feet, she felt strange. She tested herself by stretching her limbs and splaying her fingers. She felt physically and mentally fit in a way she never had. Deciding she would investigate later, she chose a direction, walking to find her way out of these random woods and into some kind of civilization. 

Y/N wasn’t sure what Chuck had planned for her or the Winchesters, but free will, right? She wouldn’t be a pawn for him to use against them or burden them. Honestly, she was more than a little terrified to even see them for real.

Yes, she was a fan, but they didn’t do well with fans.

Or things from other universes.

Or Chuck.

Besides that, this was not some PG-14 TV show anymore; it was reality. And reality had no rating. The truth was that they could just as quickly turn on her as they could help her, and she didn’t want to take the chance. It wasn’t like she thought very highly of herself, so why would they?

After several minutes, she saw a break-off in the distance, a small road ahead. She put a little more pep in her step, eager to try and find a way to earn some money and start getting herself established here.

Maybe Chuck would find her and send her home.

Maybe he’d kill her.

Regardless, she needed to find a way to survive in this world without coming into contact with the Win--

She froze as she broke through the treeline, two pairs of eyes looking over her, catching her breath in her throat. She knew her eyes were wide, their brows furrowing as their gazes swept over her.

It was them.

Sam and Dean Winchester.

They were standing on either side of the Impala, parked in front of the Bunker entrance. Of course, she’d recognized all of it immediately. Of fucking course, she had to have picked the wrong direction to go.

They were immensely bigger and hotter in person. Her breathing and heart rate picked up as her wide eyes roamed them. She felt an intense urge to run to them, confess everything, and simply be in their aura. But she reminded herself why she was avoiding them to begin with. To top it off, she did not want to come across as another Becky.

“You okay, Miss?” Sam spoke, breaking the stare-off.

Sam’s voice was deep but smooth, the rumbling sound of it like thunder rolling through her and vibrating in her chest. He was so very tall and broad, casting an immensely formidable figure. His long, chestnut locks tousled in the breeze, a light stubble adorning his chiseled jaw. She tried to guess when she might be by his hairstyle but was too distracted by his appearance to think clearly. 

“Um-” What the hell was she supposed to say or do?!

“Did something happen?” Sam asked, turning away from the car and approaching her slowly. His hands were raised to show her he meant no harm.

Oh great! I must look like a terrified animal.

She glanced over her shoulder, wondering if she could run back into the woods and if they would just let her be. Instead, she turned around to look at the brothers.

Sam stood with a worried look as he patiently waited for her to respond. Dean, however, looked pensive and ready for a fight as he reached a hand under his shirt to the back of his pants. Her eyes widened with understanding, an idea suddenly occurring to her.

“I was just trying to get to the bus station,” she uttered, shifting her feet and looking at the ground. “My boyfriend-”

She trailed off, allowing the silence to fill with assumption. She never really needed to act, but she felt pretty proud of herself as Dean’s face hardened and his posture stiffened. His eyes swept her head to toe, likely looking for injuries.

“He hurt you?”

Dean was immediately on guard when this random woman emerged from the woods, expecting the worst: maybe a demon or witch? Now, he felt exceptionally protective and a bit aggressive about it. It was a confusing roller coaster on top of everything else churning within.

The deep timbre of Dean's voice only seemed to accentuate the anger radiating from him. She knew Dean had periods of absolute ire, but she didn't know what scenario was the source in this instance. The Bunker existed, so she knew she was within a specific time frame. But she also knew their lives within those walls were chaotic and dangerous.

“I just,” she stuttered, taking a deep breath. She, indeed, was afraid. But it was of the men standing in front of her. She let her fear show and covered it in her lie. “I just need to get away.”

“Okay,” Sam nodded in understanding.

Like his brother, Sam felt wave after wave of strong emotions regarding this mysterious woman. She looked terrified. However, his hunter instincts were on high alert - as always with unfamiliar people - his need to protect was the strongest. He found it quite odd that he practically needed to help her. Like a spark or draw to her that felt almost supernatural.

Reaching into his back pocket, Sam flashed his FBI badge and a reassuring smile. She tried not to smile back, knowing the badge wasn’t real.

“My partner and I are FBI. We can give you a ride to the bus station.”

Well, this is undoubtedly fortuitous: a ride to the bus station. They’ll drop her off, and she’ll be on her way; they’ll never see her again. Okay. She could do this. Just ride in the backseat of Baby with the Winchesters. 

No big deal.

She lowered her gaze to the ground, nodding slightly, “Okay.”

Her voice was so small she wasn't sure they’d heard it. After the two men exchanged whispered words and silent gestures, Sam returned to the passenger side, and Dean opened the back door, gesturing for her to get inside.

She slid into the backseat, giving Dean a small smile, trying not to be completely fucking wrecked over how beautiful he was up close. She muttered a ‘thank you,’ Dean closed the door and climbed behind the steering wheel. She let her nervousness show as she focused out the window, allowing her mind to try and formulate a plan. She didn’t have any money, but maybe there was a shelter in town, or she could hitch a ride to a bigger city with one and go from there.

Caught up in her planning, she didn’t register the whispered and expression-strewn conversation Sam and Dean exchanged on the quiet ride through town. 

“You feel something, too?” Dean whispered to his brother as he glanced in the rearview mirror, wary of eavesdropping.

Sam nodded, swallowing hard and glancing over the seat. Her gaze was glued to the passing scenery through the window, clearly off in her world of thoughts. She hadn’t realized they’d parked the car; her attention broke when Dean opened the back door for her again.

She exited the car and looked over the small local bus station building. Turning back towards the brothers with a genuine smile, she was surprised to see them smiling back at her. 

“Thank you,” she offered before walking toward the building. A hand on her shoulder stopped her, and she turned to see Dean smiling down at her.

“Here,” he offered, handing her a sizable wad of cash. She smirked when he rubbed the back of his neck with one hand. “It’s all we have on us, but I hope it helps you get wherever you’re going. I’m sorry for what you’re going through.”

Sam reached forward to hand her something but tripped, a bit of his bottled water sloshing over the rim and on her. She jumped in surprise but gave a forgiving smile, wiping the wetness from her arm.

“Sorry about that,” Sam laughed awkwardly, brushing his hands hastily over the wet spots in a vain attempt to wick away the moisture. His borrowed silver ring from Dean brushed over the exposed skin of her hand. They exchanged another look before turning their attention back to her.

“Thanks again,” she pocketed the cash, waving to them both before heading inside.

The brothers hesitated a while, conversing while leaning on the car's roof. From this distance and through the windows, it was almost like watching the show. Her smile faded as she realized it wasn’t just a show anymore but her world now.

Sam and Dean hopped in the car, and she watched the Impala pull away, heading back the way they had come. She let out a long breath, sad to see them go but glad it was over. At least she couldn’t fuck up their lives now.

She went to the public bathroom, holing up in one of the stalls, and just sat on the seat, taking a long breath. She took the money from her pocket and counted what they’d given her, finding over four hundred dollars in her hand. She smiled and wiped a sudden tear that fell from her eye. That’d be more than enough for her to get settled somewhere.

It suddenly occurred to her that they could return looking for her, especially if Chuck caught up with them. She suddenly panicked, wanting to figure out how to hide from the Winchesters, Castiel, and Chuck. Heading out of the bus station, Y/N walked down the street. It didn’t take her long to find what she sought.

-

Dean parked the Impala in front of the Bunker again; he and his brother were silent the whole ride back from the bus station. They both felt like they had to help her and gave her all the cash they had on them. They both felt uncomfortable about just leaving her at the bus station. Now that they were back home, they both felt a heaviness weighing on them.

“Something feels off,” Sam mumbled, Dean grunting in agreement as the two tried to rack their brains for any reason they would feel like this. “Like leaving the stove on or forgetting something important,” Sam continued, Dean grunting his acknowledgment.

Trying to shake it off, they climbed out of the Impala, ready to move on from the unusual day. But the sudden appearance of Castiel in front of the car gave them both the suspicion that their ill feelings weren’t wrong.

“Dean,” Castiel spoke in his gravelly tone. “Sam.”

“Cas,” Dean greeted in turn. “What’s up?”

Castiel looked around their surroundings, focusing on the woods before returning to the brothers, “There was a shockwave of powerful energy that I followed to this area,” the Angel explained. “And a new…presence,” his face pinched with confusion. “Have you noticed anything unusual?”

The brothers looked at each other before glancing back to the woods.

“Nothing,” Sam offered. “There was a woman who came out of the woods,” he said, brow furrowing. “She said she was trying to get to the bus station, so we took her,” he shrugged.

“Did she say anything else? Did you feel or sense anything about her?”

“What’s with all the questions, Cas?” Dean inquired.

“Just…answer the question.”

Sam was taken aback by Cas’ harsh attitude, but after a quiet side-glance to Dean, he responded. “She felt…familiar, somehow. And we felt we had to protect her. That we needed to help her.”

Castiel examined each of the brothers more intently, coming to stand before them and sniffing them, making them flinch away from the awkwardness.

“What the Hell are you doing, Cas?” Dean growled.

“You both have a scent of that power about you,” Cas explained, the brothers' eyes going comically wide. 

“What are you getting on about?” Dean growled again, more than done with Cas’s weirdness but not appreciating the sinking feeling in his gut.

The Angel sighed, glancing around himself once more. “I don’t know,” Cas admitted with a frown. “It must have something to do with the energy surge.” 

Castiel looked to the woods again before walking off into them, the brothers following a few steps behind. Following some invisible trail, he came to a sudden stop. He could feel immense energy crackling in the air, setting his hair to stand on end.

I feel the presence of God, Castiel thought to himself in awe, his hand held out before him, eyes closed as he felt the air. He sniffed and sighed, his eyes falling closed again. It’s the same smell. But why- he pondered -would God bring someone here? She had to have been brought for the Winchesters, considering Cas could tell both brothers had just met their soulmate. It was too coincidental and had to be the same person God had brought. 

"So?" Dean asked, his hands tucked in his jacket pockets as he shrugged, "What did you find?"

Sam stood in almost the same position, the brothers side-by-side. They looked tired and worn, but there was much going on that needed their time and attention, and Castiel needed their help if he was going to defeat Metatron. Deciding he would look into it later, Castiel determined the distraction wasn't another burden the Winchesters needed.

"An energy signal," Cas explained. "But I'm not sure if it's important. I'll look into it later."

"But you said-" Sam began to argue, remembering his comments from earlier.

"We got bigger fish to fry," Dean sided with Cas, grabbing his bag and heading inside the Bunker.

He wasn't ready to handle the possibility of what Castiel had said. He was dealing with enough already and was in no condition to entertain the thought. He focused on finding and killing Metatron, pushing everything else out of his mind. 

Sam and Cas exchanged looks before Sam relented and followed his brother inside the Bunker.

-

As the large metal door of the Bunker clanked closed, several others found their way into the woods, guided by the same energy that had drawn the Angel’s attention. Three men strolled into the clearing where the energy signal had drawn them. Eyes flashing black as coal, they sniffed at the air and searched the ground. Finding nothing outside the energy, one of the men pulled his cell phone from his pocket, dialing and holding the receiver to his ear.

“We searched, but there’s nothing here,” the demon spoke into the phone, his affirming nod unseen by the caller on the other end. “Right, we’ll follow the energy and see what we find.”

“So?” One of the demon companions asked.

“Follow your nose,” the first demon replied, tucking his phone away and following the trail. 

It didn’t take long before they were breaking through the woods, the ever-fading energy guiding them. At the sight of the famed black Chevy Impala parked outside a large, abandoned building, the demons knew they were on to something.

“Winchesters,” he sneered, the other demons shifting uncomfortably. He sniffed the air again, his head turning away from the building and the car.

“We should go before they show up,” the third demon commented, his fear evident. 

“This way,” the first demon stated as he wandered away from the car and building, following the feel and scent of the powerful energy. “Crowley’s more interested in the power surge than the Winchesters. We’ll tell him what we found after we track the source.”

Reluctantly, the other two demons followed their companion, intent on completing their mission and pleasing their King.

-

Y/N winced as she adjusted her clothes against the raw and sore skin. The tattoos hurt but were necessary. She was lucky she paid attention when she watched the show, remembering sigils that would ward her against being found by anyone. Step one in securing her new existence.

Now, on to her next step of the plan.

She knew the Winchesters and their tactics, at least to a degree. She wasn’t sure if they knew who she was or if they would come looking for her, but she didn’t want to take the chance. So she bought a bus ticket. ‘Longest route with the most stops,’ she had asked the lady behind the counter with a warm smile. With many stops, she hoped it would take them quite a while to track each one down. She smirked to herself, remembering the main character in a book she’d read once doing something similar. Her obsession with escaping into fantasy was proving its worth.

After purchasing the ticket, she went around the side of the building where many people were waiting to board their various buses. Amongst the commotion, she slipped through and out the back of the bus lot, making her way down the street. She did not intend to get on the bus but rather create a paper trail for them to follow. She hated wasting money and having so little to work with, but she needed to be safe.

Over the next hour, she walked through town, purchasing a room at a motel, then walking down the street to another and buying a room there, before finally settling on a third on the far end of town. She paid cash at each and registered with a fake name. She knew she’d have to put protections on the room, but for now, she was exhausted and felt safe enough to try and catch some sleep before moving on again.

PART 2

FOREVERS:

@lyarr24

@hobby27

@kazsrm67

@maliburenee

@440mxs-wife

@writercole

@spnbaby-67

@all-alone-he-turns-to-stone

@leigh70

@laycblack

@kr804573

@nancymcl

DEAN WINCHESTER:

@slamminmine

@deandreamernp

@awkward-and-indecisive

@akshi8278

@mimaria420

SAM WINCHESTER:

@b3autyfuldisast3r

NOT WHAT YOU WANTED:

@cassiecourtemanche

@myceliumsunshine

@piptoost

@deans-yn

@kr804573

@stariou 

@ladykitana90 

@kentuckyhobbit 

@lunaleah 

@deansimpalababy 

@h0ng1s00lo832

[winchesterwild78]

The Demon and Me pt 2

Master List 

Characters: Demon Dean x Plus Size Reader

Warnings: Demon Dean, Angst, Language, SMUT! 

TW: Demon Dean is very rough in bed. The sex will be consensual, however I wanted to write a warning because it’s not going to be sweet and fluffy. 

A/N: Oh Demon Dean…he makes me feral-sorry not sorry. Just a short story that popped in my head. I have a ton of chapters for other stories half written, but I couldn’t help myself. Dean is now a demon and the reader is left with the weight of his absence, he shows up in her hotel room, and leaves her reeling, Sam and Cass arrive, and Cass gives the reader some unexpected news. 

Minors DNI 18+

A panic filled my body. Then the light turned on. “Looking for this darlin’?” Dean was standing in my room, holding my demon blade. I gasped, “Dean.”

“Hey sweetheart, looking good in my shirt.” His eyes flashed black and then green. I grabbed the blanket and covered my exposed body. 

“Dean, what are you doing here? How did you get in here” I knew the question was stupid before I even asked it. He knows how to pick a lock. That’s how he got in. 

He stepped closer, tossed the knife to the side and smirked, “I couldn’t stay away from you. Your smell is intoxicating. I need you baby.” 

I pulled the blanket up further as he stepped closer. My head low and I had to bite my lip to keep the tears at bay. I knew he was still a demon, but hearing his voice and seeing his green eyes look at me like he loves me was just too much. 

“Dean, I’m not your baby anymore. You don’t love me. You chose this over me, over us.” I couldn’t look at him. My voice was shaking and I felt the sting of the tears. 

Dean stepped to the side of the bed I was on. The one I always slept on, away from the door. Dean’s side was closest to the door so he could protect me. At least that’s what he always told me. 

I could feel his body heat. Then his hand gently cupped my face and turned it up and towards him. I looked at him, his face was soft and I thought I saw the love he had for me. 

“Sweetheart, please. I do love you. I want to be with you. You swore you’d love me no matter what. Remember Cass said we’re soulmates. We belong together, no matter what happens.” 

Tears started to fall, his thumb gently wiping them away. I instinctively leaned into his touch. It had been so long. 

“What about the girl from the bar?” I asked in a soft voice. “What about her? Why would I want her when I have you?” 

My breath hitched, “Dean, I..” I couldn’t finish the sentence, he captured my lips in a soft kiss. My mind is reeling. He was so gentle I lost myself in his kiss. I got up on my knees, meeting him and kissing him deeper. His hands gently pulled me to his chest, and I moaned. 

I pulled back, needing air and I looked in his eyes. They were the most beautiful shade of green I’d seen. “Dean, I miss you. Please..” Dean’s hands ran up my body, tracing every curve I’d learned to love because he loved them. He removed the shirt and his lips trailed down my collar bone and to my full breasts. 

My head leaned back and I moaned. My body responding to his touch, I could feel the slick forming between my thighs. I knew my panties were soaked. Dean leaned my body back and he positioned himself between my legs. His bulge pressing against my panties. 

His hands and lips trailed over my body, he kissed every scar and every stretch mark like he was memorizing my body again. Dean’s hands stopped at the hem of my panties, his eyes flicked to mine. I nodded and lifted my hips. My mind screamed at me to stop, but my heart and my body needed him. 

As he removed my panties his hands slid in between my folds. I heard a soft growl from his lips, “All this for me sweetheart?” I moaned and nodded. “Use your words.” “Yes, Dean, please I need you.” His tongue and mouth attached to my clit and pussy. I quivered under his touch. 

He sucked and licked like a starved man. I came almost instantly. Dean lapped up my juices. I moaned and squirmed under him. His grip tight on me as he pushed me towards another release. I came almost as fast the second time, this time his name leaving my lips loudly. 

As Dean helped me ride out my second release my senses were completely gone. Dean, my Dean was the one making me feel like this. My heart ached for it to be true. 

As Dean picked his head up, smiling down at me in my euphoric state. “Mmm look at you sweetheart. You tasted so sweet, different but sweet, almost new.” I smiled up at him and pulled him down to kiss my lips. “I love you, Dean.” 

A smirk tugged on his lips. Dean pulled his shirt over his head and removed his jeans and boxers. His hard length sprang free. I bit my lip, I really missed him. “Dean, baby, please take me.” Dean positioned himself between my legs and his green eyes turned black as coal. 

I gasped as he slammed his cock deep inside me. “Dean, baby, come back to me. I don’t want you like this, please.” “Oh baby girl, you wanted this, remember?” His eyes flashed back to green, but he kept up his brutal pace. 

He would pull out and slam back inside, hitting my cervix and pulling a half scream, half moan from my mouth. “Oh this pussy, it’s all mine.” My legs were in the air, draped over his shoulder as he kept slamming into me. My tits were bouncing so much they started to hurt. 

Tears formed in my eyes. Dean was never this rough, but god my body craved him. Dean held me down, slipped one of his strong hands around my throat. “You take my cock so good baby. Fuck! This pussy was made for me. You better not let anyone ever fuck you. You, your pussy belongs to me.” 

I felt like I was going to pass out, throw up and cum again. Dean’s mouth covered mine in a deep, hard kiss. “Dean, please, slow down.” I begged. “No! I will take you how I want. You’re mine.” I laid under Dean, feeling his hands grip my body tight as he pounded into me. 

In one swift movement, Dean had flipped my body over and pulled me on my knees. He slammed into me, pulling my ass up and pushing my face into the pillows. His large hands gripped my hips as he continued his brutal assault on me. Then without warning his large hand came down and smacked my right ass cheek, hard. I yelped in pain.

Dean was getting close. “I’m going to fill this little pussy up with my seed. Fuck a baby into you. I know you want that.” “Oh Dean, please baby, not like this.” My pleas fell on deaf ears as tears fell. Dean was spilling his hot seed deep inside me. His grunts and groans filled the room. 

After he came he stood, put his clothes back on and left without a word. I laid on the bed naked, a complete mess and utterly alone. I was ashamed I gave into him, and my heart broke because he used me then left. 

I felt his cum spilling out of me. As I got up to clean myself, I winced at the pain in my body. Dean’s marks were peppering my skin and between my legs was so sore. 

I allowed him to use me and now he’s gone again. I cleaned myself up, laid a devil’s trap out, something I should have done before, and crawled back into bed. The smell of Dean on the sheets and my body. I felt a sickness in the pit of my stomach that filled my body. 

As I laid there I felt the bile creeping up my throat. Throwing the blanket back, I leaped out of bed and ran to the bathroom. I sobbed as I began to vomit. Emptying what little contents there was into the toilet. 

After I was sure I was done I flushed the toilet and brushed my teeth. I crawled back into bed, pulled the blanket around me and exhaustion took over. 

The next morning I woke up to the sound of my phone ringing. I looked at the phone and it was Sam. I had no idea what I was going to tell him, how could I tell him I found Dean, allowed him to use me and now he’s gone again. I felt the familiar feeling fill my stomach, I was so ashamed of what I had allowed, it was making me physically sick. 

I answered the phone, voice very weak, “Hey Sam.” “Oh thank god! Y/N, where are you? I got your note and called your sister. She said you broke down and had to stay waiting on the part. Are you okay? You sound off.” 

“No, I’m not. I found him, Sam. I found Dean and Crowley. I wasn’t looking and they were in the bar I went to last night. Sam I…” My voice trailed off. Not sure how much more I could admit. “Y/N, Cass and I are on our way. Tell me where you are. You shouldn’t be alone.” 

I sighed and told him where I was. “We will be there soon, and Y/N, it’s going to be okay. Just stay away from him until we get there.” I thought to myself that was easier said than done. Even though Dean was brutal last night, my heart and body ached for him. I still loved him, and would never give up hope he still loved me. 

After a few hours of laying in the bed I decided to take a hot shower and go find something to eat. Before I left the room, my phone went off with a text notification.

Crowley: I told you to stay away from him. Now all he can talk about is how you tasted last night, how it was different, sweeter, innocent.

Me: I woke up with him in my room you asshole. I didn’t invite him over. Besides, I have no idea what the hell he’s talking about. 

Crowley: No, but you definitely invited him in, didn’t you. Now you’ve complicated things and you’re going to pay.

Me: What’s wrong Crowley, is there a little trouble in paradise? His love for me is too strong to keep up this bro fest? You know if you hurt me, Dean will never forgive you. It doesn’t matter how long he stays a demon, I know his love for me keeps me protected, and you know it too.

Crowley: We’ll see.

I sighed as I put my phone away. Walking outside the sun was shining and the air was cool. I walked to the diner on the corner to grab some food and saw Bubba. “Well howdy, Miss. I was about to call you. I was able to get in touch with my friend and he has a hose that will fit. His wife is going to deliver it later today so I should have you up and running by this evening.” “Oh that’s great, thank you so much.” He nodded and walked away.

I walked into the diner, I could hear the clinking of dishes and chatter fill the room. The waitress smiled and told me to sit wherever I wanted, so I grabbed the corner booth at the back of the diner. Dean had taught me to find the furthest table from the entrance so I could see everyone coming and going. 

The waitress came over and took my order. I sat stirring my coffee, a weird feeling creeping up from inside. I played last night over and over in my head, along with what Dean and Crowley kept telling me about me “tasting different, sweeter, or smelling like vanilla and cookies.” It was really strange. In all the time Dean and I had been together, he had never said that to me. 

By the time my food came I was so deep in thought I didn’t realize it had arrived. “Ma’am, here’s your food.” The waitress’ words pulled me out of my thoughts. I looked up and smiled, “Thank you.” She nodded and walked away. 

I ate what I could, still feeling sick, paid my bill then left. I decided it was probably a good idea to stay in the room until Sam arrived. When I got back to the room, I turned on the TV, laid down and fell back asleep. The dream I had sent my head reeling. 

*Dream*

Dean had just gotten home from work. He loved his job as a mechanic and was working towards his own shop. I stayed at home working towards my degree. Dean and I were also expecting. Our first child, a boy, was due in a little over 3 months.

I hadn’t realized I was pregnant until I kept getting sick and Dean jokingly brought home a pregnancy test. Taking the test into the bathroom I sat it down, walked away and forgot about it. Dean and I had just sat down for dinner when he asked if we knew if I was knocked up yet. I gasped and told him I forgot about the test. Dean and I went to the bathroom and saw the two lines. 

We were shocked, excited, but shocked. Dean had been having Cass come down at least twice a week to check on me and the baby. It was endearing at how excited and scared he was. When we found out I was having a boy, Dean beamed with pride. 

As I stood cooking dinner, Dean had just come home, showered and walked up behind me. He wrapped his arms around my pregnant belly, kissed my cheek and rubbed my belly. “How are my babies today?” He asked softly in my ear. “We are good, we’re glad Daddy is home, though.” 

Dean smiled, spun me around, kissed my lips and said, “I’m glad I’m home too. I missed you two.” “I love you, Dean.” “I love you too, Y/N.”

*End of Dream*

As Dean said he loved me in the dream I woke up, reeling. My heart ached for that life. A normal life, Dean back being Dean, and us together with children. Now with him as a demon and gone, that isn’t possible. 

When I looked over at the clock I realized I had been asleep for hours. I looked at my phone and saw a text from Sam.

Sam: Hey, we are about half an hour out. When we get into town we will head straight to you.

You: Hey, sorry I was asleep. It’s been about 30 minutes since you sent that text, are you close?

As I hit send there was a knock at the door. I walked over, looked through the peephole and saw Sam. I unlocked the door and opened it. 

“Hey Sam, Cass.” Sam pulled me into a hug, “Hey, Y/N. How are you doing? Did he hurt you?” Tears pricked my eyes, “No, Sam. He didn’t hurt me. I just…” My voice trailed off as Cass stepped closer to me, looking concerned.

“Cass, we’ve talked about personal space, buddy.” “Yes, but you smell different, Y/N. You smell like sex, cookies and vanilla.” I whipped my head towards him, “Why the hell does everyone keep saying that. You, Crowley, Dean!” Sam stepped closer, “I don’t smell anything, Y/N.” 

Cass was right beside me and inhaled deeply, “That’s because you’re human. Y/N, you smell like…” His words stopped and his eyes went wide. My heart beat fast.

“I smell like what Cass?” “Y/N, I think you’re pregnant.” The room fell silent. The only sound was the sound of my heart beating wildly in my chest. “Cass, what?” Sam asked, finally breaking the silence. “I think Y/N is pregnant. That’s why she smells like cookies and vanilla. I don’t know why she would smell like sex, though.” I hung my head.

“Cass, are you telling me because I smell like cookies and vanilla you think I’m pregnant?” “Yes, pregnancy always has the same smell, cookies and vanilla.” “But I can’t be pregnant. Dean’s been gone almost 2 months and I haven’t slept with anyone but him.”

Sam stepped closer, touched my arm, “Is it possible, before Dean died and was turned into a demon the two of you had sex and made a baby?” “I guess it’s possible, Dean and I had a lot of sex, so I guess it could be possible. 

I stood in stunned silence. “Y/N, what happened when you saw Dean yesterday?” Sam’s voice low, but full of concern. I hung my head, “I woke up to him in my room, and we…um..” My voice trailed off. Sam’s eyes flashed with understanding, “Oh Y/N, please tell me you didn’t.” My voice barely a whisper, “I’m sorry Sam, he was my Dean again.” Sam gently touched my arm, “No, he’s not. He used you.”

“Don’t you think I know that!? I gave him myself again because I still fucking love him, and after he used me, he just left. Without a word, he grabbed his stuff and walked away. I’m so fucking stupid! Now Cass is telling me I might be pregnant. Sam, what am I going to do? Dean and I wanted children, but Demon Dean, could you imagine him with a baby!?” Tears started falling hard and fast, my chest rising and falling as my breathing quickened. 

Sam didn’t say a word, he stepped closer to me, wrapped me in his arms and held me as I sobbed. “Shh, it’s okay, we will figure this out. First we need to know for sure if you’re pregnant.” 

I nodded and wiped my eyes. Sam said he’d be back, he was going to run to the drug store and get a test and some other things, leaving me with Cass.

The silence was awkward at first, then I spoke softly. “Cass you told me there was a plan for Dean and I, is this what it was? For us to fall in love, for him to become a demon and leave me alone raising our child, without him?” “No, the plan is still in place, you, this child will bring Dean back.” My eyes met his, “What do you mean, Cass?” “This baby is what will help bring Dean back. This child, the product of true love, is destined for great things.” 

I looked at him, not believing what he was saying. I still wasn’t convinced I was pregnant. Then the thought kept playing in my head, what if he’s right. What if I am pregnant and this brings Dean back to me, to us. 

As we sat in silence my heart filled with a mixture of emotions. I was excited at the thought of having Dean’s baby, terrified to do it alone, and even more sad I would have to do it alone. 

What if Cass was wrong, what if Dean, well Demon Dean didn’t care about our child. What if he chose to stay a demon instead of being with me and our child. 

My thoughts were interrupted by the door opening. Sam walked in holding a plastic bag. He pulled out two different types of pregnancy tests and a bottle of prenatal vitamins. “I didn’t know which one to get and if you are pregnant you should start taking these. He said as he shook the bottle at me. 

I nodded, took the two boxes in my hand and walked into the bathroom, closing the door. 

I grabbed one of the disposable plastic cups I use to rinse out my mouth and collected my urine in it. I dipped the first test in, replaced the cap and repeated it with the second test. 

One of the tests was your standard test, the other was digital. They both took about the same amount of time. I sat on the side of the tub waiting. The few minutes I had to wait felt like it drug on for hours. 

There was a soft knock at the door, “Hey, Y/N, you okay,” Sam asked softly. “Yeah, just waiting. I’ll be out soon.”

Sam didn’t push. He knew you were going through a lot, he was going through a lot. So he figured with this new possibility you were probably extra anxious. 

Your phone dinged indicating the timer was done. You stood on shaky legs, swallowed hard and picked up the first test. Two lines. You softly gasped, picking up the second test, the digital one. Pregnant was on the screen. 

Tears fell as an overwhelming wave of love, excitement, sadness and anger filled your body. You softly placed your hands on your belly. 

You opened the door to Sam standing anxiously, “Well?” He asked as he stepped closer. I looked at Sam and buried my face in his chest, “I’m pregnant, Sam.” Sam held me protectively, “okay, we will figure it out. We will keep the two of you safe.” He then placed a soft kiss on the top of my head. 

I had no idea what I was going to do. 

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[kaleldobrev]

Getting Back into the Swing of Things (1) — The 15 Year Problem Series

Pairing: MOC!Dean Winchester x F. Reader

Feat. Character(s): Reader, Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester & Unnamed Hunter Boyfriend (OC)

Series Summary: Needing help on a poltergeist case, you ask fellow hunter Sam Winchester for help. Despite having a broken arm, Sam agrees to help you. But, just as he’s about to head out and meet you, Dean tells him that he’ll take his place and help instead.

Chapter Word Count: 2.2k

Chapter Warnings: Cursing (4x), Age Gap (15 years) & Minor controlling behavior

Authors Note: A prequel series to the Old Man Universe (OMU) on how Dean and reader met | Takes place a few days after Dean is cured from being a demon in 2016 (please read this post for reasonings why it’s 2016, not 2014) | Don't worry, as Dean and reader meet in the next chapter! | If you liked this, don’t forget to like & reblog. I really appreciate it! Feedback is always welcome ♡

⋆ The 15 Year Problem Masterlist ⋆

⇠ Go Back & Read the Prologue

Dean tossed and turned, still unable to fall asleep despite what seemed like hours trying. He smelled blood in his nose, felt it on his lips and tongue; smiling with pure bliss. He could feel his hand gripping the First Blade, and he could hear the heart beats of people fading fast as he looked into their eyes. His throat felt dry all of a sudden. “Fuck,” he mumbled to himself.

Removing the covers from himself, he swung his body, his feet flat on the floor as he rubbed his face. Letting out a huge sigh of frustration, he got up from his bed and made his way to his bedroom door; deciding that maybe a few drinks could make him get a bit sleepy. But he knew deep down that wasn’t going to work — he just needed an excuse to get up and walk around.

As Dean started making his way toward the kitchen, he noticed that Sammy’s door was open halfway, the light of the room still on. A puzzled look appeared on Dean’s face, surprised that Sam was still up. He figured after curing him, he would be knocked out for the next couple of days, or at least taking it easy.

He heard drawers opening and closing, not remotely quietly. Standing in the doorway, he saw Sam packing some clothes into a duffel bag, slightly struggling as he did so, as he was down an arm. “Heading out somewhere?” Dean asked, after knocking on the doorway.

Sam looked up, barely smiling. He looked almost half asleep. “Uh yeah. A hunter friend of mine asked me to help her with a poltergeist case. Should be only a few days.”

“A poltergeist case uh?” Dean questioned, intrigued. “Where at?” He scratched the back of his head as he walked into Sam’s bedroom, trying his best not to sound too excited about the case.

“Tulsa. It’s about a five and a half hour drive from here, and I promised Y/N I’d meet her at the motel in town,” Sam said, zippering up his duffel.

“You sure you’re good to go Sammy? I mean, your arm is still broken,” Dean said, pointing at his arm. “Why don’t I go instead? I could use a nice and easy case to get my sea legs back.”

Sam looked at his brother with a bit of hesitancy. “I don’t know Dean…” his voice trailed off. Even though Sam had talked to you about Dean, he wasn’t sure how you would react to Dean showing up instead of him. Based on the short amount of time he had known you, he feels that you and Dean would get along really well as your hunting styles were scarily similar at times, and your personalities rivaled each other. But yet, you didn’t know Dean, and he knew you’d rather hunt alone than hunt with someone you didn’t know.

“Sammy, your arm is broken. No offense, but how much help are you really going to be to her? She might as well just do it by herself,” Dean said, and Sam knew that his brother had a point. He was right, as much as he hated to admit it.

Sam sighed, almost defeated. “Alright, alright. You’re…you’re right,” he said, slightly swinging his casted arm. “Just let me give her a heads up first okay?”

You looked out straight in front of you as only darkness could be seen for miles and miles. Your hands had a tight grip on the wheel to the point that your knuckles were almost pale and white. The loudness of your windshield wipers drowned out what you were currently listening to — The Clash.

There was no traffic, no cars— just you, the rain, and the complete darkness except for your headlights. You sighed, thinking about your boyfriend, how conflicted you felt about the whole thing. On one end, you were tired of the bullshit and were ready to call it quits with him. Why be with someone who makes you miserable? You heard your mom’s words echoing in your brain, so loud as if she was sitting right next to you. On the other end, you wanted to give him another chance as people who understood the hunting life was few and far between.

You didn’t necessarily want to be alone, but it was something that started to look more and more appealing. You were 22, still young and had time to find someone. But who? Another hunter? A civilian maybe? No, no civilians, you thought. Too risky. You needed someone that knew the life.

As if snapping you out of your current thought, your phone started ringing, the buzz of it slightly vibrating your seat. Since there were no cars on the road, you pulled off to the side, and answered the phone. "Hey Sammy," you said, "where are you?"

"Hey Y/N, I'm uh...still back at the Bunker," his voice sounded so tired and defeated.

You raised a brow in confusion. "What do you mean you're still back at the Bunker? You're not coming to help me?" You would be lying if you weren't disappointed. Although you had only known Sam for a short amount of time, he was someone that you genuinely enjoyed hunting with; not only because he was a legendary Winchester, but because he treated you like his equal, despite your age.

"Remember when Cas helped me on a case a while back and I ended up breaking my arm?" He said, and you nodded, even though you knew he wasn't able to hear you. But he took your lack of an answer to continue speaking. "Well, it's still broken. And I didn't want to say no when you called for help because you were such a big help to Cas and me, especially me, when Dean were gone."

You didn't want to give the impression that you were disappointed, even though you were. But you understood where Sam was coming from; and the last thing you wanted to do was force him to drive all the way to Tulsa just to sit in the motel room. "I really appreciate you saying yes, even though you're kind of out of commission. It...it really means a lot."

"Listen, I know you can pretty much solve this case in your sleep but..." he paused, sighing, almost as if he was afraid to say the next few words. "Dean offered to help you."

You were completely silent, which was a rarity for you. It wasn't like you didn't appreciate the help, but you were iffy about it as you didn't really like working with people that you weren't really familiar with. Yes, you've heard countless stories from Sam about his brother, and knew he was a good hunter; but the thing that scared you was, when it came down to it, would he just leave you for dead to save himself?

"I know you don't usually work with people you aren't really familiar with but," he sighed again, and you knew if he was in front of you right now, the puppy dog eyes would be in full force. "He's a great hunter, Y/N, and he wouldn't let anything happen to you. If something bad happened to you, he would never be able to forgive himself."

How could you possibly say no when Sam was practically telling you how good of a person his brother was? "Sam —"

"You'd be doing me a big favor, Y/N. I think this case would really help him get back into the swing of things," Sam said. Now you definitely couldn't say no.

You took a deep breath, sighing. "Okay," you said simply, giving in to Sam’s plead.

"Thanks Y/N, seriously," his tone sounding a bit happier now that you agreed. "I already gave him the address to the motel we agreed to meet at. He should hopefully be there right around the same time as you are."

"But you guys are almost six hours away," you stated with a raised brow. "Is he teleporting there?"

Sam chuckled at your comment. "No, no. He uh...he's a bit of a speed demon," Kind of like you, he wanted to add.

"Ah, so like me," you said. Sam couldn't help but smile at the comment, finding it funny that you had thought the exact same thing as he had. "Alright. Um, does he need my phone number or?"

"I kind of...already...gave it to him...sorry..." his words trailed off, almost embarrassed, like you had caught him red handed. You sighed, slightly annoyed. You didn't like when others gave out your phone number without asking you first, but then again, your boyfriend — which was soon to be your ex — was something he did quite often behind your back.

"He still driving the impala?" You asked, but before Sam could answer you, you continued with your thought, answering your own question. "Never mind, that was a stupid question," you slightly chuckled to yourself. "Of course he's still driving the impala."

Dean held the steering wheel tightly in his hands, loving the feeling of the leather at his fingertips. It had been far too long since he'd driven Baby, and it was one of the things that he truly missed while he was gone. "It's just a car Sam," his words rang out; and those words gutted him, because Baby wasn't just a car: she was home.

As he drove, his music was low, not loud like he usually preferred it, as he was currently admiring the simplicity of his surroundings. The rain hitting the windshield and being quickly wiped away, the darkness of the road that was only lit up by Baby's headlights. He felt comfortable and at ease; something driving always helped him to feel. He felt at home right now.

You didn't really know what to feel right now as you were debating back and forth on how your first meeting with the infamous Dean Winchester was going to go. According to Sam, the two of you would get along great, as he's made comments along the lines of, "You sometimes scarily remind me of Dean," which you weren't sure if you should take as a compliment or not.

Some of the stories Sam had told you about Dean impressed you, but then there were some where you couldn't help but roll your eyes at the stupidity. With some stories, you wondered how he wasn't dead already, then again, both Winchester's have died and came back countless times as death didn't seem to stick. You couldn't help but wonder what made them so special. Maybe they are God's favorites, you thought; and you couldn't help but chuckle.

Pulling into the motel parking lot, you let out a small laugh, seeing Dean's impala already in the parking lot. He really is a speed demon, you thought. Wonder what time he got here? You wondered.

As soon as you parked your vehicle, your phone began buzzing, and you looked at the name on the caller ID. Your blood started boiling seeing your boyfriend's name. "You have to be fucking kidding me," you mumbled to yourself.

At first, you were going to ignore the call, as maybe he would think you were still driving. But there was no way you would be able to give that illusion as there was no traffic on the road when you left because of the time. With gritted teeth, you answered the call, trying your absolute best to remain calm. "Hey," was all you said.

"You get to the motel yet?" He asked, his tone implying that he already had that knowledge somehow.

"I just pulled in," your answers were short, as you were still mad at him from before. Although driving was one of the things that calmed you down and made you feel at peace, for some reason, this argument in particular really made you angry.

"You said you would call me when you got to the motel," he sounded mildly annoyed, but disappointed at the same time.

You rolled your eyes. "Fucking hell," you mouthed. "I just pulled in. You didn't give me enough time to even call or text you." You took a deep breath, feeling yourself getting ready to boil over. "This is me telling you that I have reached the motel and may not be able to talk to you over the next couple of days, okay?" You weren't asking him; you were telling him; trying to make it clear that you couldn't talk to him. Of course you would be able to, but you didn't want to, as this case was a way for you to get the edge off. It was a way to kill something without killing him.

"I love you," he said, and for some reason him saying those three little words surprised you. He rarely said them to you, even though it was something that you had said to him regularly. The only times he ever seemed to say those three little words to you was during or after sex, or when the two of you had gotten into a rather nasty argument.

You didn't want to say it back to him, as love was the very last thing you felt for him in this moment. But you almost felt like you needed to, so he wouldn't feel like anything was wrong between the two of you. Then again, you didn't want to gaslight him the same way he always seemed to gaslight you. "I'll see you in a few days," was how you decided to answer, as those were the most genuine words you felt you could say to him.

⤑ Move Forward & Read Chapter 2

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[princessmisery666]

Just Say You Love Me

Summary: Dean is trying to embrace his emotions and look to the future. Part 3 of 3. Part 2 - The Right Guy On Paper.

Warnings/Genres/Troupes: fluff, mentions of cheating. 

W/C: 4,901.

Characters: Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester, Mentioned: Jody Mills. 

Pairing: Dean x fem!reader (you - no descriptions of body type or ethnicity).

Bingo: @jacklesversebingo Square Filled: ”Would you please, shut up, I’m trying to confess my love for you.”

A/N: Obviously this was supposed to posted on a certain day (you'll get what I mean when you read) but it just wasn't where I wanted it to be at the time so I waited. Two-ish weeks later ain't bad though.

Graphics: made by be on canva. Dividers by @talesmaniac89

Master Lists: JAcklesVerseBingo / Dean Winchester / Main

Pulling off the highway, Dean grumbles, “This is stupid,” to himself again. Yet, he had called Jody to make sure you weren’t working, made the two-hour drive, and hadn't veered off route to the nearest bar.

It’s been a few weeks since he saw you at Jody’s cabin. You’ve spoken on the phone a few times and met him halfway to Kentucky to give him a lore book Claire had borrowed. But no in-depth conversations have been had, which he’s okay with because one, it’s a conversation to be had in person and not while he is neck deep in a case, and B, he doesn’t know what to say or how to tell you what he wants because he’s still not sure himself. 

So, in the safe confines of Baby, he asks himself again why is he driving to your house on Unattached Drifter Christmas or ‘Valentine’s Day’ for the schmucks? 

Before he can do a little soul-searching and find the answer, his cell phone rings. 

“Hey Sam, what’s up?” he answers. 

“Why are you in Sioux Falls? Something wrong?” 

“Everything’s fine. Wait, how do you know where I am?” 

“You were way too vague about where you were going. You always have a plan for today,” Sam explains, “figured you were up to no good and better keep an eye on you in case you get into trouble like last time.”

“Last time was almost five years ago, and for the hundredth time, I didn’t know she was married,” Dean snarks.

“Plus, you didn’t turn off your GPS,” Sam says as if he hadn’t heard Dean’s argument. “So why are you in Sioux Falls on Unattached Drifter Christmas?”

He falters for a second, thinking of an excuse, and before his pause becomes suspicious, he blurts, “There’s a new bar opened up. Wanna try it out.”

“This bar called Y/N’s, by any chance?” 

“What? No!”

Sam laughs, and that all-knowing chuckle reminds Dean that Sam is onto him and there’s no point in denying anything. “It’s a good thing, Dean,” his brother assures him. “You may not have told her outright, but she’s smart. She’ll recognize you showing up today, of all days, is your way of telling her you want…” Dean waits, hoping that Sam will impart the answer that eludes him, but huffs in defeat when his brother adds, “Whatever it is you want.”

“This is stupid,” Dean grumbles, “I’m being stupid.” 

“No, it's not,” Sam scolds. “I’m sure today will be tough for her. So, just being there for her is a good thing. It doesn’t have to be deep conversations. Showing up and supporting her is enough.”

Dean considers that Sam is probably right, but it doesn’t make him feel any less insecure. “Maybe.”

“Have fun,” Sam says before hanging up.

Five minutes from his final destination, his phone chimes, alerting him to a text message.

Jody: She’s at Lucky Shots, fifth wheeling it. 

“Dammit, Sam!” he snarls, but he’s not really mad, saves him a trip to her empty house.

The break at Jody’s cabin was revitalizing, and the feeling has stuck for the few weeks you’ve been back in your routine. It probably helps that you removed every trace of Luke from your life the moment you got home. The confrontation with Dean was cathartic, too. You’ve analyzed what he’d said about not wanting you to meet someone new and that he missed you, and asked Jody for her opinion, too. She’d wistfully smiled as if aware of something you weren’t, “Maybe you gave up on him too quickly.”

You didn’t want to admit that Jody was probably right. Yet you had made assumptions, choosing to believe that he didn’t want anything serious, and after admitting to yourself that you wanted something more, you had decided to go out and find it somewhere else.

That realization turned out to be at the forefront of your mind today. You're thankful to your friends, Laura and Sara, for the invitation and for not allowing you to stay home and eat your emotions. Being the fifth wheel isn’t the issue. It doesn’t bother you, even on Valentine’s Day. They chose a lowkey, casual games bar, not some romantic, candlelit restaurant, and for that, you are eternally grateful. The issue is Luke is there. It could be worse. He could be with her, but fortunately, he’s with two of his buddies.

The bar has darts, beer pong, pool, skee ball, knock down a clown, and a few other amusements. You're locked into a tight game of girls versus boys beer pong - the beer having been replaced with tequila shots - and you can feel Luke’s every glance as if he’s waiting for an opportunity to approach.

It’s the last thing you want, and your friends were kind enough to offer to leave when he arrived, but you stubbornly refused. You had no reason to leave. He should be filled with so much shame and regret that he can’t bear to face you, but he has the audacity to look like a wounded puppy, and that makes you angry. 

The game is down to the wire, and the final ball is down to Chris and Dylan, your friends' partners. Dylan massages Chris’ shoulders, “Come on, buddy, you got this. For the win!” 

You all hold your breath as Chris releases the ball, and the boys celebrate the victory with loud cheers as it lands in the cup, having barely touched the sides. You, Laura, and Sara shoot another round of tequila. The sourness of the lemon you suck on adds to the disapproving look you catch Luke throwing your way.

Asshole. How dare he judge you! 

“I demand a rematch!” Laura declares. 

You agree. “My turn to buy the drinks.”

Sara escorts you to the bar. Though she masks it as helping you carry the drinks back to the table, you know she’s doing it to protect you from an unwanted visitor.

“I need the bathroom, but I’ll meet you back here,” Sara tells you, “if he comes over before I make it back, stomp on his foot and poke him in the eye.” 

You laugh, really belly laugh, because she’s totally serious, and it’s also hilarious to think he’d have the balls to actually approach you.

“Who’re we looking out for, honey?” the elderly woman beside you asks, lips pursed and looking sassy. 

Sara tells her, “Other end of the bar, tall white guy, blond hair.”

“Green shirt?” she asks for confirmation. 

“That’s the one.” 

“Uh-huh,” she tuts, “I know the type, handsome as an angel, spirit of the devil. You go on to the bathroom. I’ve got your friend until you get back.”

You don’t doubt the lady’s confidence. You wouldn’t mess with her. 

“Thank you, Miss…” 

“Call me Beverly,” she introduces, and Sara shakes her hand before skittering off to the bathroom. 

You wait your turn to be served, listening to your protector tell you all about her first husband, “the devil incarnate.” 

If only she knew. 

You face forward, not even side-glancing in Luke’s direction, not wanting to give him any inclination you may want to talk. You don’t. Beverly turns and rests her back against the bar to see the whole room without looking over her shoulder. 

“Oh, sweetie,” your new friend says, “there’s another one of those handsome-as-an-angel men walking this way, and I think he’s looking for you.” 

You still don’t turn, but look up into the mirror behind the bar and see him. Dean maneuvering around people and tables, coming straight toward you. 

Unintentionally, you gasp, a sheepish smile creeping in as you lock eyes with him in the mirror.

“From that reaction, I don’t think you need help with this one,” Beverly says, sweetly taking a step to the left to make room for Dean. 

“Hey,” he says, a half smile making him look a little awkward.  

“Hey,” you say as he leans in to kiss your cheek, and when he’s close, you whisper, “Everything okay?” 

He pulls back, nodding with a slight frown as if the question was offensive or something. “Yeah, everything is fine, just passing through and wanted to say hi.”

“Passing through?” you ask, suspicion clear in your tone.

His frown deepens, clearly trying to sell the lie, pretending to be confused by the suspicion.

You smirk. “Just happen to be passing through on Unattached Drifter Christmas?”

He rolls his eyes and shakes his head. “How much do you and Sam talk?” 

“A lot,” you confess, “emails, phone calls, memes, and then there’s the weekly newsletter.” 

“Busted.” He laughs, and it shakes off whatever anxiety he was feeling.

The bartender comes over and takes your order. You add on whatever Beverly is drinking for the rest of the night, which reminds you Sara has been gone a while. You turn around to look for her, and Dean looks over his shoulder. Sara’s back at the table. All of them are staring at you but quickly and comically turn around as if they weren’t when Dean finds them. 

“Sorry,” you chuckle, “they’re just looking out for me cause Deputy Dick is here.”

“Shit,” he grumbles. “Is me being here going to be a problem?”

“Probably, but that's his problem.”

Dean laughs, and you really have missed it. The easy relationship you had seems to be a thing of the past, but you want it back. Maybe not the sex because you’ve realized that's where the problem lies. You want more from him than you'll ever get, but at least the friendship could be mended.

“But don’t waste your Christmas on me, Dean,” you say. It's subtle but enough to tell him that hooking up is off the table.

That disgruntled frown appears again, and he looks genuinely offended. “I’m not here ‘cause I think I’m gonna get laid.” He explains, shrugging. “Running into you isn’t a coincidence. I was on my way to your place because I didn’t want you to be alone tonight. Jody told me where you were.”

“I don’t know what I’m supposed to take from that?”

“Take it for what it is,” Dean suggests. “I’m trying.”

You can work with that. Trying to be friends sounds like just what you need. No pressure or expectations from either side, so you quickly squash the thought that it means something deeper that he’s choosing to spend time with you instead of finding a warm body to lie with. 

“Okay.” You smile, trying to look as sweet as possible. “Well, can part of that trying be helping us win at beer pong?” 

“Girls versus boys?”

“Obviously.”

He scoffs, “Absolutely not! And you get an extra shot for asking me to rig a sacred game.” He hands you a shot off the tray of drinks, and you knock it back. 

He watches you, grinning the whole time, and you shake your head as if it will shake away the taste. “Happy Valentine’s Day,” he says, leaning down to kiss your cheek.

“Don’t try and soften me up, Winchester,” you warn, “I’m not gonna take it easy on you.” 

He shrugs, “Was worth a shot,” and walks away with the tray of drinks. 

Chris and Dylan merrily call his name as he approaches, and you follow, smiling fondly. 

“Now the odds are even. Prepare to go down, ladies,” Dean says, taking off his jacket and rolling up the sleeves of his shirt to his elbow.

The games continued; the boys won at Beer Pong, but the girls won two rounds of darts. Once Chris and Dylan had gushed over the Impala, you said your goodbyes in the parking lot. Each of your friends hugged you. Dean got a kiss on the cheek from the ladies, and the guys gave him a firm handshake before pulling each other into a one-armed hug. It looked natural and easy, and you love how well Dean slots into the group.

You realize you’re staring as he drives, and he glances over when he feels your eyes on him. “Are we still social distancing or something?” he jokes, reaching a hand over to tug on your leg, requesting you get closer. 

You oblige, sliding over the leather seat, and he slips an arm behind your shoulders to rest on the seat back. “Thank you for that,” you say, kissing his cheek.

“For what?” he asks. 

“Pretending like you couldn’t hit that bullseye with your eyes closed.”

“Well, I’m supposed to be a mechanic, right? Not sure a mechanic would have perfect marksmanship.”

“If you’re not sold on the mechanic thing, you can always tell them you’ve changed your profession,” you suggest, and with a teasing wink, add, “but they all already know you’re good with your hands.” 

“Would you, for once, get your mind out of the gutter?” Dean jests, “I already told you, no sex for you.”

“Sorry, Mr Winchester, sir,” you joke, “I’ll be on my best behavior.” 

He laughs but looks out at the road. His fingers lightly brush your neck. You aren’t sure he realizes he’s doing it. When you were sleeping together, it became a thing - absentmindedly, he’d lightly stroke your skin while watching a movie or falling asleep. It's familiar and comforting, and you lay your head on his shoulder the rest of the ride home. 

Dean follows you up your path, and while you search your bag for your keys, you notice him looking to the left, eyes squinting, trying to see something too far away. 

“Wanna come in?” you ask, distracting him from whatever has caught his attention.

“It’s not a good idea,” he says, giving you his full focus, “I meant what I said, Y/N. I didn’t show up cause I was expecting to get laid.” 

You’d be lying if you said you hadn’t considered throwing caution to the wind and jumping into old habits. And you're surprised by Dean’s rejection. He could have followed your lead and taken you to bed without any objections.

“Presumptuous much?” you counter, smirking. 

He smiles, all charm and smug joy, because he knows he’s right. “Don’t try and pretend you weren’t thinking about it.” He steps closer, crowding your space and gripping your hips to pull you against him. “You’ve been flirting with me all night.” 

“I can stop,” you threaten, but it falls flat as you wrap your arms around his neck.

He grins, “No, you can’t,” against your lips, kissing you before you can claim otherwise.

The kiss is not hesitant; it’s deep and long, but you feel him holding back. His hands don’t roam, remaining wrapped around your waist, but he takes his time, savoring the shared warmth, each brush of your tongues, every breath shared. 

Dean is the first to pull back. “I gotta go,” he swiftly kisses you again. “I told Jody I’d be there before midnight.” 

“Gonna turn into a pumpkin, Winchester?”

He laughs, pecking your lips again, but then his features soften, something close to pleading, “I’m trying,” he grumbles, but you're not sure if it's to remind you or himself.

He doesn’t say exactly what it is that he’s trying, but you know he means he’s trying to do things the right way, and that’s enough. “You're doing great,” you assure. 

He kisses you harder, tongue sweeping over your bottom lip, and you let him in. He walks you backward until your back hits your door, and he groans when he presses himself into you. “Nope,” he scolds himself, pulling back and comically jogging away down the path, but while you're still laughing at him, he turns back. “Can I take you to breakfast tomorrow?”

You smile, and it widens to a knowing grin. You spare him the OMG shock when the realization hits you, but you do ask, “Are we dating?” 

“Only if you say yes?”

“Pick me up at ten.”

He winks, unable to contain the boyish grin, and just as he opens his mouth to say something, a siren blasts, and a sheriff’s car pulls up to Baby’s bumper.

You walk a few feet to stand beside Dean as Travis, the rookie, and Luke, in plain clothes, step out of the vehicle. 

“You gotta be kidding me,” Dean says.

Luke and Travis stand beside each other on the sidewalk but don’t approach you.

“Ten out of ten for dramatic flair,” you snark, clapping once. 

“But should have done it while I was kissing her,” Dean adds, “would have been way more dramatic.”

“I think you meant douchier,” you suggest with a confused frown. 

“You’re right,” Dean clicks his fingers as if you're right on the money, “I meant douchier.”

“Funny,” Luke says. “Travis, this man has been driving under the influence. Please breathalyze him.”

You put a hand on Dean’s arm to keep him in place should he decide Luke deserves another punch to the face. After all, he’s not in uniform. Travis is wise enough not to move. You're his boss. Luke has seniority over him but not over you. 

“Really?” Dean sneers. “That's all you got?”

“Go home, Luke,” you tell him, “you’re making a fool of yourself.”

“So what if I am,” he says, “I just wanna talk.” 

“We’ve talked,” you remind him. “You talked, I listened to your piss poor excuses, and it changed nothing.” 

“We were going to get married.”

You raise your voice, “That was a reaction to your cheating! You only asked me because you felt guilty, and I only said yes because…” you cut yourself off, but Dean looks at you, knowing what you had been about to say.

“We were good together,” Luke says, seemingly oblivious to the silent conversation that passed between you and Dean. “He’s just a,” Luke sneers at Dean. “What did you call it? A situationship.”

Dean tenses under your grip, and you know the comment had the intended effect. You’ll have to address it later.

Clenching his jaw, he briefly looks away before leveling a glare and taunting, “Dude, have some dignity. She’s already told you it’s over.” He practically growls his next words. “So leave.”

Luke ignores Dean, looking directly at you. “You're angry, I get it. But don’t make any rash decisions, please.” he implores.

“I was angry,” you agree, “I was furious, but now I’m indifferent. You were a rash decision, Luke, and I’m not saying that to be cruel or get back at you. It’s the truth.”

Saying those words aloud drives home your previous thoughts of why you started dating Luke. Getting engaged was a reaction to your feelings of rejection from Dean’s honesty about commitment. You release a breath as Luke’s face drops, finally seeming to understand.

“I’m sorry,” you say.

He shakes his head, blasting out a breath filled with disbelief. “We were never going to work out,” Luke realizes aloud, “you were too hung up on him.”

“Travis, I’m sorry you were dragged into this,” you sigh, “but please take Luke home.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

Luke stares for a second longer, but chooses not to say anything further, allowing Travis to usher him into the car.

Dean doesn’t move, watching the car disappear from view at the end of the street. Your heart pounds in your chest; you’ve just gotten to a good place, and now that might have all been unraveled.

Though you suspect not a lot of it is surprising to Dean. The day you told him about Luke, he’d begged you not to tell him you loved him and he was right for the assumption that you did - or do or might. You can not say it even reject the idea if anyone suggests it, but you can’t deny it to yourself. You sought out Luke to replace the emotions you felt weren’t reciprocated by Dean.

“Maybe I should take you to breakfast,” you suggest, with a nervous chuckle, “to make up for that. I’m sorry.”

He shakes his head, giving you a small smile. “Nothing to be sorry for,” he assures you, but he’s looking you over like he’s trying to read the emotions behind the words. “You okay?”

Quickly, you reply, “Yeah, of course.”

“You sure? You look like a bit of ‘deer caught in headlights’.” 

“I’m okay,” you sigh, taking a deep breath. “Just a little worried that's undone all the progress we’ve made.”

“It hasn’t,” he tells you, slipping a hand on your hip and pulling you into him. “This situationship can handle an ex-situationship.”

You grimace, “I’m sorry.”

He laughs, nonplussed, “Don’t be. I’ve been called worse.” 

He silences your next apology with a deep kiss and slowly, seemingly reluctantly, pulls back. “I’ll pick you up at ten for breakfast.”

You're rambling again. Since Valentine’s Day, it’s been happening a lot. Dean knows why you're doing it. He can see it in your expression every time you catch yourself and stutter over the words, changing it to something else and hoping he doesn’t notice. 

The first time it happened, a few weeks ago, Dean thought he misheard you. You were both breathing heavily, your thighs pressed against his ears, holding him in place, writhing while you rode his tongue. He watched your face as much as he could, eyes rolling to the back of your head. Your body twitched, and your climax coated his tongue and wet the sheets, “I love yo…when you do that.”

Three days ago, after a double date with Sara and Dylan, Dean woke you up in bed with coffee and French toast. Still in the haze of sleep, you smiled contentedly, and it almost slipped out. “I love…” you coughed to cut yourself off, correcting it as you sat up, “I love French toast.” But he could see it in eyes, the adoration tainted with the fear of saying it aloud.

‘I love you’ is on the tip of your tongue, and it almost escaped a moment ago. 

A car accident had kept you late at work, so the dinner reservations had to be canceled, but Dean wouldn’t let it ruin the night. He’d ordered pizza, knowing you’d be starving when you got home, run a bubble bath (with the ulterior motive of joining you), popped open a bottle of your favorite wine - he hated it, thought it tasted like vinegar - and was waiting in the middle of the living room for you with the glass in hand. 

Taking the glass from him, you lazily kissed him. He could feel how tired you were. Listlessly, you mumbled, “Oh god, I love yo…” but had stifled it so quickly that the rim of the glass clinked against your teeth.

Clearly unable to think of an alternative, you began rambling about your day while unnecessarily blitzing around the already clean kitchen with a dishcloth.

He wants you to say it. He figured out how he felt about you when it finally sunk in after you’d told him you’d met someone else. It was more than physical, and it always had been. Otherwise, it wouldn’t have hurt so damn much when you told him about Luke.

He hasn’t said the words to you, but you have to know that’s how he feels. He told you he’s trying. Although, there haven’t been any conversations about exactly what that entails. He’s been more communicative. He’s made future plans - okay, only a week or so ahead at any given time, but that tells you all you need to know, right?

But the way you keep avoiding the phrase sets off a little ripple in his heart. Maybe you don’t know. Maybe you’re afraid he’ll hightail it out the door like last time if you say it aloud. Maybe he needs to expand his communication skills. He says your name softly, but you either don’t hear him or pretend not to, afraid of what comes after.

“I should get you a key cut,” you blabber in. “Save you having to pick the lock next time I’m not home. Don’t want the neighbors calling it in. Mrs Brooks next door is always twitching her curtains.”

He tries again, “Y/N,” louder this time. 

“I need to put a load of laundry in,” you say, striding into the laundry room. 

“I did it already,” he calls after you. 

“I’ll put it in the dryer then.” 

He follows, trapping you inside the smaller space so you have no choice but to turn and face him.

“The laundry is done and folded in the basket in your room.” he continues, speaking to your back. “The kitchen is clean. Pizza is on the way. The bath should still be hot.” 

You finally look up at him, and there’s that apprehensive smile again, but your eyes are aglow with the words you chew your lip to suppress. 

“Just say it,” he sighs, trying to hide his smile. 

“Say what?” 

He steps closer, crowding your space and using a gentle touch to tilt your head up to keep your eyes on his. “You know what.” He smirks, teasing, “You can’t bite your tongue forever. So just say you love me.”

“I wasn’t biting…” you stammer, “I never…I only meant I was going to get a key cut for you. I didn’t mean anything….” 

“Would you please, shut up?” He silences your rambling with a hard kiss, grabbing your hips and hoisting you to sit on top of the dryer. Wrapping your arms around his neck, you sigh placidly, but he pulls back and grins, “I’m trying to confess my love for you.”

You drop your gaze, avoiding eye contact. “Please don’t.” 

He notes your avoidance of looking at him, and panic sets in that maybe he’s got it wrong, again. But he hopes he’s right, so he chuckles, “giving me a taste of my own medicine.” 

You shake your head, “No. I don’t need to hear it, and you don’t have to say it ‘cause you think it's what I want to hear.” 

“That’s not what…” he tries, but you raise your voice to speak over him. 

“Dean, please!” you wait for him to close his mouth. “I like how things are now, and I don’t want to jinx it or have to watch your ass run for the door again.” 

“I’m not going anywhere,” he promises, “it will be different this time.”

“We’ve been through this already. I don’t want promises, and we don’t need to open old wounds.”

“I get why you’re…”

The doorbell interrupts him, and you use the excuse to push him aside as you jump down and scurry out of the room.

He leans against the doorframe facing into the kitchen and listens to you thank the delivery guy. You must have given a generous tip because he thanks you multiple times as you say goodbye to him.

The click of the door closing echoes, and he waits for you to appear, but you don’t. He imagines you standing in the hallway, trying to calm yourself. 

He waits, counting the seconds in his head with the promise that he’ll go find you if he reaches thirty.

At fifteen, you enter, eyes glued to the floor, pizza balanced like a cocktail waitress. “I’m gonna go take that bath,” you tell him. “Hopefully, it's still warm.” 

You’re assuming the conversation is over. Only it isn’t. At least, not for him. He hasn’t been working up to it. He’s never had a grand plan for the first time he says it, but now he knows he needs to say it so you understand and believe him.

Silently, he watches you put a few slices of pizza on a plate - so he presumes he’s not invited to the bubble bath. The stopper gives an audible pop when you pull it from the wine bottle, like an exclamation point on his thoughts.

He clears his throat and proclaims, “I love you.”

The only indication that you heard him is your frozen state, bottle tipped, ready to pour into your glass. 

“It took me too long to figure that out, but I do. And saying it or not saying it out loud isn’t going to change a damn thing.”

You continue to pour the wine into your glass but don’t turn to face him, recorking the bottle and resting against the countertop.

You haven’t run away, so he continues, “I always knew we were good together, but now I see that we have a whole future of being good together, not just the here and now.”

Hesitantly, he stalks closer to you, watching you take a large gulp of the red liquid. You must hear his approach because you turn around but jump slightly at his proximity. 

“I’m ready to move forward,” he confesses, “and I want to do it with you.” 

“Are you done?” you ask, finally looking up at him with a teasing but joyful smirk under a shy gaze. “You’re on a roll there. I just want to be sure before I say anything.” 

He laughs but shakes his head once, “Nope.” He takes the glass from your hand and puts it beside the bottle. “One more thing,” he leans in closer, tilting your chin up, lips whispering over yours, “I love you.”

You chase his lips as he pulls back, “C’mon, you know you want to,” he teases, making no attempt to hide his smugness. He’s got you right where he wants you. “Just say you love me.”

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Master Lists: JAcklesVerseBingo / Dean Winchester / Main

[lol-jackles]

https://www.tumblr.com/teamfreewill2pointo/750106101611151360/hi-finale-anon-here-thank-you-so-much-for-your

I’d love to get your take on this post. I don’t agree with it. Supernatural was about Sam’s hero journey which the finale completes the arc established over the 15 seasons.

Why is it difficult for people to see the basic and timeless story construct?

Supernatural is Sam Winchester's Hero Journey, it's all here in the "Hero Journey" tag. Dean Winchester is a very popular character, the awesome sauce but not the main course, which I explained in the "Support Protagonist" tag.

Link. Here I had thought Will viewed the finale through Destiel-rose-colored glasses but it turned out he was interpreting it through BiBro-stanning-lens. And Will's proof that SPN is just as much as about Dean as it is about Sam is, wait for it, "Dean was given a myth arc"', as in singular.... out of 15 seasons. Did he mean season 10? Because according to Jensen, season 10 was a “rare Dean centric storyline” and how "Dean's rarely in this position of being the focal point of the general story's motivation," (X). Is Will disregarding Jensen's own words?

Will: "you can't remove one brother without the whole thing falling apart."

True you can't remove Sam, otherwise there is no story. Once Jared planned to leave SPN, WB canceled the series. Remove Dean and with some minor tweaking, SPN will mostly still be the same (X) but it probably wouldn't have lasted 15 seasons. It would be more like Buffy with 7 seasons. (X)

Will: Sam returned to the ordinary world and got a wife and child because it did it for Dean.

Actually Dean gave his blessing and permission for Sam to return to the ordinary life he always wanted for himself. It's why season 15 clumsily shoehorned "Drag Me Away" episode just a few weeks from the finale to remind the audience that Sam wanted out of the hunting life since he was a kid. Yes Sam went to hell for Dean but it was unquestionable that Sam also did it to save the world. It set Sam apart from Dean's motive for going to hell which was only to save Sam, he didn't care about the world.

Will: "everything Sam did was for Dean".

Yes, by giving up his own desire for an ordinary life so that Dean wouldn't be alone. Sam told Charlie back in season 9 that he only stayed in the hunting life because he loved Dean. But that's not enough for AA stans and even some Bibro stans because they may have realized that Dean and the hunting world is the "belly of the beast" that every protagonist enters as part of their hero journey arc, which goes against their personal biases or agendas.

Will's Anon was only talking up to Return of the Jedi in their Star Wars analogy and Sam never became a witch and he never "used his powers". Holy smoke that was the whole point of depowering Sam after season 5 so that he doesn't end up an ex dues machina! Or am I mis-reading Will's writing and he was actually talking about Sam's power in the first 5 seasons?? Regardless, Sam is NOT a witch, what the heck is Will smoking???

Will, listen to me carefully: Luke's hero journey goal was to become a Jedi. Sam's hero journey goal was to return to the ordinary world. It was never supposed to be a one-to-one comparison, Kripke never said that.

Now we come to Will's streaming value argument by using the 2023 chart to "prove" that the Carry On finale isn't driving equal watch time for each season. How is that supposed to even make sense? Will is ignoring the very basic human nature of simply tiring out from watching so many episodes. The rate of decreasing viewership from season to season is fairly consistent. Unlike hellers, the general viewers will start with the first season and gradually peter out.

A bad series finale will kill the popularity of the show and gets memory-holed. A disappointing series finale will put a big question mark in the rewatch value. "Carry On" finale did none of this because it made narrative sense, as Jensen said when he paraphrased what Kripke told him.

See my "Carry On finale is awesome and here's bunch of reasons why" tag.

[queermania]

hi i recently came across your blog and have been reading a lot of your posts about dean - your analysis is incredible. i was wondering... in your opinion, which arc is the worst when it comes to deancrits misunderstanding/critiquing dean unfairly?

so i'm 50/50 on whether this is genuine or bait. if it's not bait, i'm so sorry. you did nothing wrong. it's just that i get a lot of messages that are so very clearly not in good faith. if it is bait, well, joke's on you because i'm about to say a bunch of words and a bunch of people are gonna read them. so.

i think the most obvious answer to your question is the jack situation but i'm not sure it's the correct one. i think by the time we even get to jack (especially to the soulless!jack part of it all) a lot of people have already sort of lost the plot on why dean is ever behaving the way he is. there's this tendency to view his behavior as if he wants to control the people closest to him, not always because he's inherently malicious but often because he wants to keep them safe and keep them close to him to the detriment of himself and everyone around him (see look! it's not deancrit! we know he's not a bad guy. we're just being objective and he's just an abusive asshole who should burn in hell). and i get it. i see how they got there.

but it's frustrating because how they got there is by 1. taking every single thing the characters say at face value despite all evidence to the contrary 2. viewing every single thing dean does or says in a vacuum, removed from any and all context and 3. forgetting that supernatural is a fantasy show, not a family drama or sitcom.

take the demon blood story line for example. what we actually see is:

sam going on a mission for revenge regardless of the costs or consequences (which he's aware exist even if he doesn't know the exact details)

dean trusting his brother until he finds out his brother's been lying to him

sam being told that what he's doing is wrong on multiple occasions by multiple people

dean offering ruby his gratitude for saving sam's life and an apology for the way he's been treating her since he got back from hell

sam continuing to lie and act shady

dean telling sam that he doesn't care about the demon blood/sam's powers, he just cares about sam's behavior

sam draining an entire nurse and killing her

sam almost killing dean on purpose and telling him he's not strong enough, not like sam is

dean still being the one to offer an apology when all is said and done, twice

but all of that gets rewritten into a narrative that dean's just never trusted sam ever and sam was only doing something he thought was right because all he ever wanted to do was save people. how could he have possibly known something bad would happen? and now, even after the fact, even after sam's said he's sorry, dean still won't let it go and holds it against sam forever and ever.

this narrative persists throughout the fandom. why? because sam threw a few tantrums in which he rewrote what was happening and dean didn't protest and the fandom took it at face value. (1)

on top of that, deancrits treat each of dean's actions like they happened in a vacuum. one of the things deancrits fixate on the most regarding the demon blood plot is dean saying, "You walk out that door, don't you ever come back." in 4x21. they treat it as if dean was being controlling and manipulative; abusive, even. they treat it as if, out of nowhere, dean just decided to throw john's words in sam's face because sam simply wouldn't do what dean wanted him to do.

what actually happened, however, was that sam had been lying to dean for twenty-one episodes about what he was doing, despite the continued warnings not to do what he was doing, and now sam had beaten the shit out of dean, left him bruised and bloodied on the floor, to go do something that dean had been told repeatedly, from a source they all thought was the authority on the subject, that sam absolutely should not do. what actually happened was dean made a last-ditch desperate effort to stop his brother from doing something dangerous that would get himself and possibly a lot of other people killed. (2)

the deancrits also tend to magically forget they're watching a genre show, not a family drama, when it comes to analyzing dean. the source of conflict wasn't that dean just didn't like sam's new girlfriend because sam trusted her more than him. it was that sam's new girlfriend was a demon and dean had just gotten back from forty years in hell being tortured... by demons. it was that dean had angels of the lord, before he really knew that the angels couldn't be trusted, telling him he needed to stop sam. it was that the angel that rescued him from an eternity of torture and becoming a demon himself told him that he needed to stop sam. (3)

so the deancrits frame this conflict between sam and dean as if dean just didn't trust sam, for no reason other than sam was hanging out with somebody else, and dean was being irrational about it. after all, sam was only trying to stop lilith, right? dean was being irrational and controlling. and it sounds reasonable when you look at it from their perspective. but their perspective is not anywhere near the reality of what was actually happening.

and that happens over and over and over again. we see it with the idea that dean is the one who is codependent to a toxic degree, despite all evidence to the contrary*. we see it with the idea that dean thinks all monsters should die and sam wants to save/help them. we see it with the conflict in s6 being framed as dean just being angry that cas dared to do something without his permission. we see it with the fractured relationship between the brothers in s8, both regarding dean's return from purgatory and the trials. we see it with the gadreel arc and then the one with cas leading the angels. we see it with the mark of cain and the darkness. we see it with mary's return. and then we see it with jack, and most especially we see it with soulless!jack.

it's all so exhausting. by the time we get to jack, the deancrit has piled up the same way the narrative circumstances weighing on dean have, and so it feels like deancrits are fundamentally misunderstanding the situation more severely than they have anything else but i think in reality it's just the last straw.

so i guess what i'm trying to say is that the misunderstanding isn't necessarily about the individual arcs but about the way a genre story is told in general. they're not just unfairly critiquing an arc. they're mischaracterizing a whole ass dude and fifteen seasons of a show.

*dean dragged sam back into hunting. how do we know that? because sam said it. what did we actually see? dean bringing sam back to stanford for his interview. sam going back to hunting because of the fire that killed jess. dean wanting to take a break from hunting several times while sam kept pushing them to keep going. dean wanting to split up and stay away from each other for awhile after the demon blood thing. sam leaving amelia before he even knew dean was alive/back from purgatory. dean telling sam to go back to amelia. sam choosing, all on his own, not to go back to amelia. sam basically threatening suicide because dean had other friends. sam unleashing the darkness because he didn't want to be alone. etc. etc. etc.

**also i think there is a conversation to be had about dean's coping mechanisms and trauma responses being less palatable though not anymore harmful than both sam's and castiel's but that's a different conversation for a different day

[musclesandhammering]

Spn Opinions That’ll Have Me Burned at the Stake Pt. 2: Electric Boogaloo

I’m back and bitchier than ever. For reference, here’s part 1.

• Season 5 wasn’t that great.

• D*stiel isn’t real, it’s a sucky ship, and that confession scene was just the writers pandering to the rabid deancas fans cause they knew they were the only ones still watching the show lol. And they left it ambiguous enough that they could still say it was meant platonically if they needed to.

• I hate how they watered down both angels and demons post-season 5ish.

• I liked Ruby 1.0 better than Ruby 2.0.

• I hate Honey!Cas. They just did that cause they didn’t know where to take his story from there, needed him out of the way, and thought it would be funny. It was insulting.

• Jack should’ve been played by an actual child so everyone’s abuse of him would resonate with the audience for what it was (casual fans are brain dead and need to be spoon fed).

• Victor Henrikson deserved more time on the show.

• I said it in the last post, but Alex is way more interesting than Claire and should’ve been given the lead role in the wayward sisters storyline instead.

• Dean is canonically straight and for Christ sake if you guys wanted bi rep, there’s about a thousand other characters that are strongly coded or implied to be bisexual (including Sam!) but y’all didn’t focus on them because it wasn’t actually about representation, it was about making it more plausible for your dumb fetishised gay ship to actually happen (spoiler: it didn’t).

• Season 3 and Season 6 were some of the best ones, you guys just don’t have any taste.

• Claire is not Castiel’s daughter and saying she is erases Jimmy and insults her, and even Cas himself acknowledged that on the show.

• Castiel is canonically NOT gay and Misha constantly saying he is is annoying and airheaded. He’s been attracted to women IN THE SHOW and he’s not even really male, so calling him a Gay Man is reductive and just plain wrong. Also, it’s veeery sus that- given how bi/pan folks are even more underrepresented than gay people- that one of the rare times where the bi/pan label actually fits a character BETTER in CANON……. the allies and monosexuals adamantly reject it. Hm.

• “Curing” vampires or werewolves or demons shouldn’t have been a thing.

• The Winchesters cause most of the bad shit that happens and then they just force supernatural beings to fix it for them- tell me again how they’re Super Special Heroes.

• It shouldn’t be possible to make angels human by removing their grace, because (unlike demons, werewolves, etc) they were never human to start with. If you drained me of all my blood, I wouldn’t magically transform into another species, I’d fucking die.

• Making Billie go crazy was dumb.

• Rowena was one of the most interesting and charismatic characters on the whole show- they just didn’t know what to do with her character.

• The archangels, Lilith, and Azazel should’ve been the biggest threats on the show. No other knights of hell, no god and his sister, no Cain, nothing like that. Having every villain just get progressively more overpowered made the show unbelievable and repetitive and annoying.

• The kernel sanders king of hell guy was hot.

• Dean is misogynistic as HELL, homophobic, likes racist porn, is a narcissist, pervs on teen girls, & thinks all non-human people should be exterminated… and that is all CANON.

• Most of John Winchester’s abuse is fanon.

• Fans portraying Cas as a smol bby who colours in colouring books and has a bee plushie is so fucking annoying.

• Instead of having so many gigantic cosmic storylines with god and his sister and alternate dimensions and even the angel and demon tablets, they should’ve just scrapped those and made the stein family and the bmol and the alpha vampire storylines way bigger than they were. Less cosmic stuff, more earth-based stuff.

• They ruined Lucifer’s character post-season 5. Before that, he was more sympathetic and reasonable than Michael. After, he was a spoiled child hurting people for fun.

• Everything from season 7 on is garbage. All of it. There’s bits of goodness here and there but overall seasons 7-15 are trash.

• How the fuck are there actual people who are deangirls and hate Sam?? The space where your brain should be is empty, I swear to god.

• If there was gonna be any lgbt rep in the Wayward Sisters group, it should’ve been Jody and Donna instead of Claire and Kaia. Those two were boring as hell and had zero chemistry or build-up, but Jody/Donna had plenty of chemistry and was very believable.

• Meg has the best and most realistic redemption arc of anyone on the show.

• Chuck was not likeable or charismatic enough to carry off as big of a villain arc as they gave him. Also that whole thing was stupid and WAY too Out There.

• All the angels should’ve been aroace. All the demons should’ve been pan.

• I stanned Cole so hard up until he changed his mind about hating Dean. That was disappointing.

• Sam went through the same shitty childhood Dean did (plus Bonus Abuse on top of it) and he didn’t turn out Like That.

• I cannot think of a single person that was asking for a spin-off about the Winchester family, like that has to be the most boring thing.

[best-nun-tournament]

Round 1, Match 28

Sam and Dean Winchester (Supernatural) vs John Wilkes and Edwin Booth (US history)

Propaganda under break. Spoilers for Supernatural

Sam and Dean Winchester

Unlicensed and unregistered guns/vigilante justice

---------

they try to kill each other SO many times. well maybe not that often but more often that is emotionally healthy for both of them. dean tries to kill sam (4.14, 8.06, 10.03, 10.23) and sam tries to kill dean (4.14).

in s10 dean has this really shitty curse that basically makes him really violent and want to kill people. however he also wants to just try to deal with it instead of trying to remove the curse because they know removing the curse would cause something really bad to happen. they don't know WHAT the bad thing is but they do know it would be devastating. anyways sam goes behind dean's back and gathers a bunch of other people to try and remove this curse even though dean doesn't want him to AND even though he knows it would cause terrible consequences. eventually sam does get the curse removed and surprise! the bad thing that happens is THE FUCKING APOCALYPSE. basically.

in s9 dean lets an angel possess sam - something he knows sam would never consent to under normal circumstances - in order to save his life and then, when sam finds out and gets mad about it, dean basically refuses to apologize. and then he just never gets around to apologizing about it or even showing regret about doing it.

in s4 sam lies to dean continuously and works with a demon behind dean's back, and he's also doing the supernatural equivalent of drugs that give him powers. when dean finds out about this he locks sam up in a panic room to suffer through his (very painful) withdrawal completely alone. also sam is having hallucinations of dean calling him a monster. and when another character says that he thinks they should let sam out because sam is at risk of dying, dean says "at least he dies human." later sam gets out of the panic room, dean catches up to him, and they have this huge fight where sam just beats dean up.

honorable mention: in between s7-s8 dean dies and goes to purgatory. the concept of purgatory is previously mostly unexplored on supernatural so sam doesn't really know that dean is in purgatory in the first place but also he just straight up does not bother looking for dean at all and just goes back to living a normal suburban life for a couple months. and then when dean gets back he is SO upset about this and resents sam for it for basically the whole season. (this is also one of the reasons he tries to kill sam.)

also they continually try to save each other, at the expense of themselves + each other + everyone around them. they also treat cas (cas!! my best girl cas!!) really shittily on multiple occasions just because he's in the way of their goals.

ALSO. very important. sam & dean are, respectively, the vessels of lucifer & michael (like the archangels) and essentially they are destined to each get possessed by lucifer/michael and kill each other in the apocalypse (the 1st apocalypse, not the 2nd).

all this propaganda might be a little bit biased in favor of sam because i'm a samgirl but you get the point. they think they're so normal but they are SO fucked up. they hurt themselves AND each other in the pursuit of trying to do what they each think is best and they never ever learn from it. i don't even ship wincest i just think they are so interestingly fucked up AND that's not even going into all the stuff about their childhoods / pre-canon

John Wilkes and Edwin Booth

They were actors which is fine. Except. Edwin was better and John was bitter. And the John assassinated the President while delivering a line well associated with Edwin's Brutus. Edwin (already on the outs with John) disowned his brother after that.

Poll Runner's Note: Also their brother Junius Brutus Booth Jr was arrested because of John Wilkes Booth shooting the president. And the three of them had just done Julius Caesar in 1864 (John Wilkes was Mark Antony and Junius was Crassus), the year before the assassination.

One of Junius' other famous roles was as King John, also in this tournament!

[l1zardgeek]

My whole world was flipped upside down the other day when I found out there was a lot of Sam haters in the spn fandom. I simply do not understand.

Yeah, sure, Sam did some messed up things. But so did every other character in the show.

He got addicted to demon blood because of Ruby and this alien feeling that was cast upon him because of John. His own father thought he was a monster, so you gotta know that's gonna do something to your self esteem and cause you to go out of your way to be accepted.

He traps himself in Hell with Lucifer to save his brother and the rest of the world, knowing how much trauma that will cause him. And when he got out, he didn't have a soul, which all the fault lies with Cas on that one. And when he got his soul back, he wasn't the same. The sheer trauma he had from being roomies with Lucifer was more than enough to drive any normal person insane, and he still endured silently for a long time, before he went so crazy he was forced to be put in a mental hospital. He physically could not sleep because Lucifer was taunting him so much. And the only way he ever got better was because Cas took all that trauma into himself.

Yeah, maybe Sam didn't look for Dean when he was in Purgatory, and instead spent his time with a woman instead, but he had no clue where Dean was. The last time he saw his brother, he stabbed Dick, and then him and Cas disappeared into thin air. There was no clues whatsoever to where he was. And all Dean ever wanted was for Sam to have a normal life, so after he presumes Dean dead, he does what he thinks his brother would have wanted for him.

He's angry at Dean for Gadreel, and rightfully so. His brother took away his choice in the matter by tricking him into saying yes. He was ready to die. He told Death to make sure he can't be resurrected. He wanted to die. And yes, obviously as a brother, you don't want your younger siblings to die. That's a given. But he took away Sam's choice in that and forced him to be possessed, which is where most of his trauma comes from. He was possessed by several, terrible people at one point, and it was literal torture for him. He watched helplessly as his own hands murdered and hurt many people, some of them being his own friends and family. And then it just gets worse when Gadreel forces him to kill Kevin later on.

Sam searches the ends of the Earth for Demon!Dean and even when he's told several times to stop going after him, he doesn't listen. He knows he was mistaken when he didn't look for Dean in Purgatory, so he fights to make up for it by searching for him now. Dean tries to kill him, tells him to go away, leave him be, and Sam doesn't. He does everything he can to cure him. And he does with the help of Cas. He never gave up, even long after Dean already did.

And Sam releasing Amara wasn't all his fault. Charlie, Cas, and (reluctanlty) Rowena agreed to help, too. They're all just as guilty as him. And as much as I hate saying that about Charlie, considering it got her killed, it's true. They all helped remove the mark. They all released Amara. It wasn't their intention, but they all wanted to save Dean from himself and from hurting others. They all knew how much it hurt him to not have control over his anger. They were all just trying to help and were prepared to face the consequences of that, no matter what they were, because it was for Dean and they all loved him. (This is excluding Rowena at this point obvi)

Sam is the only one who cares for Jack after he's born. Yes, Cas would've defended that kid with his life if he were still alive, but he wasn't. Only Sam and Dean were. And the first thing Dean does when he sees Jack is shoots him. Sam talks to him. Sam understands him. Sam was him. He relates to the kid in a way no one else probably could, and so he fights his brother about it. He fights to protect the misunderstood kid who's defined by the blood that runs through his veins, though he desperately tries to prove it's not who he is. People only say Dean and Cas were Jack's fathers. But Sam was Jack's first father, the first person to see him for who he truly was.

And then he shot God, getting himself injured in the process and ultimately helping them take Him down. He was a vital character through the series and sacrificed so much. He didn't deserve all that happened to him, and frankly, it makes me mad when people hate on him.

[samdeanjohn]

I love everything you said about them so much..! I also feel like since bobby is sliiightly removed from the Bermuda Triangle that is John-dean-sam hes probably slightly more aware how unfair Dean’s position in the family is… like maybe it eats at him a little more than John or sam but at the end of the day what is he going to do, encourage Dean to be his own man? Absolutely not! Rip bobby you would have loved applying the babygirl meme to your most favorite boy <33

thank you, i love having nice anons<3.

yes, bobby does at least start out more aware but the more he becomes involved in their family drama the more he reinforces certain dynamics. i love the show because it's so realistic about those things. character development isn't always positive or linear.

[ardentpoop]

i sometimes feel like ripping out my hair when I think of the way both normies and fandom treat Sam and Dean within the Narrative but so much of my anger dissipates when I just think about how Americans are simply Not That Smart. i know its quite cruel, but so much of the conclusions, themes, structures and interactions they have with this show are so intertwined with Americanisms and the things that are baked in the country (patriarchy, anti-intellectualism, colonial settler fantasies) that in a strange way someone who is disenfranchised or completely removed from american life has a better grasp on the show than usamericans (ex.Chinese, Russian, and eastern fandom in particular imo) even me personally, who grew up in Texas ironically 💀 as a Muslim girl had an inexplicable draw to spn despite it being the antithesis to my existence in many ways. even sam and dean in their own show, despite being the protagonists and lauded as images of pure masculinity and heroism (esp dean in the later seasons lbr) if both of them were real- they'd be very much disenfranchised and disconnected from "normal" and societal life that's promised to white men like them- but their whiteness offers them the semblance and "look" of normalcy, despite living lives completely removed from that.

i personally feel that the only way this show will be fun to analyze in a broader space and have a fandom worth interacting with to think critically w esp w normies is when american culture shifts- which will be a long while with the state of things here lmao. but it's kind of the same song and dance in terms of analysis and values w most of the other fandoms I've been in too, which have been pretty diverse in terms of origin- but eventually tainted by the American Thought that reached the broad fandom and normies, which is what I feel happened w spn fandom mostly and the writing of sams character (which unfortunately affected the actual canon sooner or later). but so much of my grief and issues with western and American feelings and views on spn and fandom I can boil down to a very mean thought which kind of bleeds to many other things: Americans are Not That Smart dkduskhssk

anyway, just wanted to share my thoughts bc i feel we have similar feelings esp as samgirls in a Dean Centric World 😔 but more importantly as ppl who grew up muslim and have that context and feeling when it comes to interacting with media. Love 4eva and luv ur posting abt samdean divorce era <3

omg hi <3

I’m always startled to realize how many muslims (slash ex-muslims) were drawn to the show despite ummmm. the obvious reasons it “shouldn’t” appeal. I wish I’d connected with more of you during my first stint in fandom bc meeting a couple of other muslims thru my original interest in the show was a profoundly impactful experience for me :’) I grew up in a very conservative household so you can imagine the confusion of my teenage years. the tumblr fandom feels extremely white american overall and always has, which is a shame, bc as you said I think we could be having much more interesting conversations collectively if the majority didn’t routinely bulldoze fan POVs that are considered fringe.

and yeah tbfh……it is simply a harsh truth that americans are not that smart. as a stupid american myself there were a lot of realizations about the world that I came to much later than I would have had I been forced to start seriously developing my political consciousness when I was young.

thank you for sharing and I hope this silly blog lifts your spirits occasionally in these difficult times :)

[mola-mola-yn-y-mor]

hello! I saw your reblog about misogyny and Mary and Jody and the boys and I was wondering if I could ask about your opinions!!! I'm just genuinely curious what your opinion on all of it is in more detail because I find the whole thing very interesting xxx

@fatallyaddictedtofiction

Right buckle I’m because I’m so glad you asked and I have a lot to say.

Right so let’s talk about Mary first. Mary is the core of supernatural, people say it’s the brother show but no it’s all about Mary from the very start. She is an archetype of helpless murdered mother/wife right down to her white nightgown, and everything they do is about getting revenge on the thing that killed the helpless woman and therefore ruining their lives.

This creates a very complex relationship with Mary for the boys which again is John’s fault as the remaining parent and because Mary is dead she is perfect, she has absolutely no say in the martyr John paints her as. But as the story goes on and we at the same time as Sam and Dean learn she is complex and flawed and real and suddenly she’s not who we thought she was, and because this is from a younger her in the past we take it easier.

Fast forward to when Amara brings her back to life and that’s like skipping a lot of stuff but a lot of the core of the misogyny comes from after she comes back.

So this is like the flawed people show right, like I love them but they all make bad, terrible and selfish decisions all the time and that is what makes them good and interesting and complex characters.

Mary is not immune to this, she is a fascinating character, imagine dying at 26/27 coming back and seeing your children almost a decade older and than you and their father has turned them into the one thing you never wanted them to be. She is unfridged something very few women are allowed to do. We are allowed to see her as more than the burning mother on the ceiling, she’s messy, she makes mistakes, she cuts her hair she can’t cook and she makes mistakes because she is thrust 30 years into the future in a world she doesn’t know. And the only family she has are two grown men with more wrinkles than her calling her mom.

And like don’t get me wrong. Sam and Dean are allowed to have a complex relationship with her, it’s a fucked up situation and it would be poor writing for them to just be ok with it. I love the scene when Dean confronts Mary and she says “I’m not just a mom and you are not a child” and he replies “I never was” it’s a great scene. And I think it says a lot that Dean finds it easier to blame Mary who physically could not have been there than examine his complex relationship with his father.

But like we as the audience are removed from the situation and should know better. Like I have genuinely seen people call Mary a deadbeat mother and it’s like she was straight up dead and you can’t be a deadbeat to people in their late 30s/ early 40s who are fully capable of taking care of themselves and who you are in fact trying to foster a relationship with.

In short Mary takes the blame for a lot of John’s actions especially because she has the audacity to not be the Saint John turned her into.

Now onto how this compares with Jody. And honestly the only reason I compare them is because people call her a better mother to Sam and Dean than Mary. Which is ridiculous because she is not their mother, she is their friend plain and simple.

Like yes she is a mother and yes she takes people in but there’s a big difference between lost teenagers and straight up adults.

(If we go by actors ages) Jody is like 9 years older than Dean the only reason she is called their mother by fans is because she’s a woman that is older than them and because they couldn’t sexualise her she’s maternal.

Like I have friends with a similar age gap and there is no way I would ever consider one of them parental.

It’s almost a similar issue with Ellen. Just because they didn’t have a mother growing up doesn’t mean every woman they meet that’s older than them who shows them a little kindness has to be a maternal figure.

Mary is genuinely one of my all time favourite characters simply because she was allowed to be more than the narrative gave her back in 2005 and I just hate to see people put her back into that little box and condemn her for all the things that they love in Sam and Dean

[the-family-business-83]

Species Decipit

Part 1 | Masterlist WIP

Fandom: Supernatural

Summary: The Winchester brothers were once good friends with Sarah. She was a good hunter, and made pretty good company too. But after running into the Men of Letters, things changed drastically for the trio.

Type: Series

Characters: Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester, OFC Sarah Rogers (probably more that'll be introduced later on)

Genre: Angst, action, slight fluff, possible smut but not yet

Warnings: If you haven't seen the whole show, this series contains spoilers for seasons 11-12.

There will be mentions of blood and violence, and alcohol use. There will also be a fair amount of cussing, but not more than what's in the show. If those aren't your thing though, read at your own risk. Some parts of this series may contain more of these subjects than others. Also, fair warning, this gets very angsty, like a lot of angst, so be prepared.

Word count: 3,493

Send me an ask to let me know if you wanna be added/removed from the taglist!

Beta: I don't know their Tumblr tag but @Outofnowhere82 on Discord, a member of the @spnfanficpond, helped me with this one

A/N: I posted this on Wattpad first, it was posted with the title "Everybody Wants to be My Enemy" (Link here) but I decided to change it a little and post it here too. I think I like this one better so I hope you guys enjoy this angst-coaster ride 🥰

The moment she pulled the key from her pocket and slotted it into the keyhole of the heavy iron door, Sarah had to take a moment just to breathe in. The walk up after sliding out of her car was one that felt like she'd been on auto-pilot, as her mind was already wandering through the surreality of being back here again. How many times had she come in, and yet this time would be among one of the only–if not the only–that she did so without the two lumbering flannel-clad brothers Winchester flanking her sides; the only time she'd come here without knowing that they'd probably be waiting beyond that door, for her to come in or to open it for her.

But as she closed her eyes for a brief second, she shook the thoughts away and turned the key over to unlock the mechanism, and pulled it out only when she heard the familiar click to grant her access. Descending down the small winding staircase, she made it to the second and final door to go inside, which she pushed open after another quick unlock with the key, and stepped inside as she tucked said key into one of her pockets a moment later. Her gaze shifted throughout the room, her cerulean hues not being able to see much in the pitch dark. Sarah pulled a flashlight out of the duffle bag on her shoulder, and clicked it on as she carefully made her way down the stairs to find the power box. She tried to ignore the sinking feeling she had at the fact that the place was not only dark but also so quiet she probably could have heard a faucet leaking in the shower room halfway across the bunker. It was stupid wishful thinking but some part of her had hoped that maybe, just maybe they were home… but they weren't, and she told herself to grow up because it was stupid to have hoped for in the first place.

Once she found the power box, the blonde flicked her eyes over the different switches for a moment, before pushing the correct ones up to turn everything on. In the blink of an eye, everything in the war room lit up, followed by the library, and in the hallways that lead out of the war room. For a moment, it was almost soothing, because she was reminded of the first time she'd come here seeing the place all lit up in all its true glory. She still remembered Sam explaining what the place was, where things were, and the house rules. Which of course, Dean had chimed in for that last part, no surprise there. But the memory, fleeting as it came, made the tall huntress smile faintly in reminiscence. It was such a simpler time, compared to now.

When her mind came back to reality a second later, Sarah cleared her throat and clicked off her flashlight, putting it away as she took a right and started heading down the hallway towards where the rooms were. She was headed for her own room, so she could set her things down at least, but curiosity got the better of her when she passed by familiar number 11; Dean's room. She's already gone past it but something made her stop, and backtrack to the door where she turned and clenched her jaw as if it would hold back the wave of guilt that threatened to come forward. She shouldn't have come back here, it was hard enough to be finding her footing right now without those men, and the place may have been home once but now it just reminded her of the things she'd done. Yet somehow she couldn't stop herself as she pushed the door open further from where it was slightly open just a crack.

Fumbling her hand along the wall on the inside of the room, she flipped the light switch on. She didn't know what she was really expecting, but she wasn't sure she was prepared to see it still in the same shape as it had been the last time she'd seen it. Wall decorated with all Dean's weapons as per usual, a crate filled with vinyl records right next to his record player just as he liked it, his desk still a mess that had a system of Dean's own devising…. And most of all the bed of all things was still half-assed in the process of making it. It made her shake her head slightly but whether it was out of familiar amusement or sadness would be up for debate. She made her way over to the record player then, and set her bag on the chair before selecting a Rolling Stones album. The needle was set on its surface a moment later as the blonde set it up, and she turned up the volume a bit while the classic crackling switched to the first notes of "You Can't Always Get What You Want". Admittedly, as she heard it start she almost switched it to a different track, or just a new vinyl entirely, but instead she snorted a sort of scoff at the cruel irony and picked up her bag again as she left the room with the door open so she could hear it continuing to play.

Sarah deposited her bag into her room next, because it happened to be on the way in-between Dean's and Sam's room, always had been. And she didn't even bother with unpacking yet, just leaving her bag on her bed as she ran some cold water to splash on her face with the sink that was in there. It took her a moment to just, settle, because readjusting to what she used to call home was a big step for her, truth be told. But as she hummed along to the song drifting from Dean's bedroom, the tall huntress did actually take it upon herself to trek down the hall further to Sam's room, hands in her pockets as she walked. And what she found was an empty room, bare of decorations, in contrast to his brother's. But the other difference was that it was still neat as ever; neatly made bed, tidy coat rack, not a thing out of place. Unless you counted the few books that were sprawled across that very same neatly made bed, with a small stack living on the desk beside his laptop from whenever the last time he'd used them was. It was a sad sight, as familiar as it was. She was so used to finding the man busying between one book to another in here, whenever he wasn't stationed in the library to do the exact same thing. She didn't spend as much time in that room however; she ended up turning away with a deep breath in and shut the door behind herself, clicking the light off on her way.

Like riding a bike, she found the kitchen with no problem, and bumped the light on with her elbow as she was mid-way through pulling her shoulder-length hair into a messy bun. Once that was done, she went straight for the fridge to find herself a beer….if there even was any still. She didn't trust any of the food in there honestly, not with how long it had been. So she didn't think much of any of it or how it looked as she shut the door a moment later and instead searched out the bottle of Jack she'd always kept in one of the cabinets for safekeeping. Glad it was still in its same hiding spot, Sarah took to finding herself a glass a moment later, poured some liquor into it and took a long sip. But she damn near dropped it when she heard a very deep, very familiar voice as she froze, thankful that the bottle was already on the counter. She hadn't even heard him come in but that voice sure alerted her to his presence, followed by the feeling of metal against her henley covered spine.

"Don't move a muscle, bitch." His voice was hard, gravely with how low his tone was despite being just loud enough to catch her attention. His signature etched silver Colt M1911 with ivory grips was up and aimed square at her as he pressed it against the middle of her back, and if looks alone could kill, Dean's stoney features probably would have. Sarah wasn't normally on the receiving end of such looks, but she'd seen them before, and she didn't need to look at him to feel it on her now, just knowing he was glaring holes into the back of her skull. The weary woman didn't say anything at first, too stunned to really know what to say and not daring to move with how Dean looked. So there was a moment of utter silence between the two, one that was thick enough to be cut with a knife.

"I'm gonna start asking questions and so help me I better get nothing but straight answers from you." He didn't have to tell her why for her to know what would happen if she didn't. Swallowing hard, she simply nodded, and let him go on. "Why the hell are you here? Did your new, fancy boss send you?"

She didn't know how to describe it, but there was a part of her that grimaced when he said it like that, and yet another part of her couldn't help being pissed underneath whatever showed on the surface. "No. As far as they know I'm dead now. I plan to keep it that way."

"Right. So you just decided to come in for a visit, is that it?" He didn't sound any happier than before, in fact if it was possible he almost sounded a little more pissed. The truth was the last he'd seen her, they were on opposing sides and Dean still couldn't get past it. As far as he knew she was still the Brits' lackey, and in his eyes she was lucky he didn't shoot her on sight. "I'm only gonna ask one more time. Why. Are. You. Here?"

Breathing in deeply she turned just a little more to face him better, and in the same motion pulled the gun swiftly from his hands as she clicked out the cartridge before tossing it onto the counter. She didn't get a word in, at least not much beyond an 'I was-', before she had to duck as a heavy right hook was coming her way. She was quick to move with his hits, keeping up decently as they scuffled there in the kitchen but he played dirty by chucking a towel in her face to disorient her and proceeded to sweep her legs from under her. Going down with a grunt as she hit the hard tile floor; before she knew it she was wrapped up by the man as he knelt beside her, his arms expertly around her neck in a headlock as she tried to squirm and free herself.

Unaware for the moment, Sam came into the bunker right about then, dumping his things on the war room table for now because he'd noticed with the lack of a response from his brother with the conversation he'd tried to start, that Dean wasn't in sight, and frowned as he looked around. "Hey, dude- where'd you go? Dean??" He waited another moment or so before he started down one of the halls and calling out louder for him to hopefully hear. "Dean! Hey, where are you man?"

Still there had been no response. Giving a tired sigh, the taller Winchester ran a hand through his hair, about to give up. But that was when he caught, albeit faintly, scuffling from the kitchen, before a few metallic clangs of things clashing, and that put the male into alert mode as he then pulled his pistol out and began jogging for the kitchen as he followed the direction of the sounds. "Dean?! Dean!!"

By the time Sam got there, Sarah was fighting just to stay conscious, because there was nothing within her immediate reach that she could really use, and even if she wasn't short, Dean was still bigger than her and so it was hard to fight him off. "De- Dean- lis'n- pl'se- I'm not he- to hur- I jus-" the huntress tried to choke out against the strong forearm squeezed against her windpipe. She hadn't even noticed Sam arriving, as she was too focused on keeping her vision focused and trying to get oxygen–both of which she was definitely failing at with how the bigger man holding her made it impossible to get enough air in no matter how hard she kicked and fought.

"Dean, what is-" and this time, Sam was the one to cut himself off, because he recognized the blonde right away even in that situation. And he almost, almost shot her right there because of how he'd come into this. But the pacifist buried in him urged him not to, at least for now, so instead he readjusted his aim to be towards her thigh, grazing just enough to not be too fatal but also enough to catch attention and keep her from running very far. "Dean! Hey, let her go!"

At first all Dean gave his brother was a hard look, because the idea was insane. She'd tried to kill them before, or at least fed them to the lions in a way, and he really fucking hoped his brother wasn't trying to forgive her for all of that. But Sam's voice came again, urging him. "Dean, c'mon. She can't get away like that, you can let her go."

Finally, with a split second of debating, Dean let her go with a grumble, and stood up as he went to grab his gun and reload it before aiming it on Sarah once more.

Had she the lung capacity, Sarah would have screamed when her leg was shot like that. But she didn't, and so no sound left her unless you count the squeak that briefly croaked out at it, with her eyes scrunching shut to grit through the pain. Even still, she fought to keep herself conscious, and when she was finally released? She fell to her side, one arm weakly propping herself up while the other massaged her throat as she coughed, trying to regain air to lessen the stars in her blotted vision. After a moment, she finally leaned herself up against the island as she just worked on catching her breath, a hand squeezed against her thigh where the bullet had hit her to help stem the bleeding. It was already staining her jeans a dark red, leaving traces on the tiles where it dripped slightly. It wasn't much but it was enough that with the momentary deprivation of oxygen in tandem with the bloodloss—and her own….less than ideal health state—she was already feeling a bit dizzy and fighting to stay awake. She closed her eyes just for a moment against the pain, as if somehow she could will it all away and maybe when she opened them again, this would all have been her imagination so they could start over.

"Now what happened here?" Sam was the first to break the very brief lull of silence, excluding Sarah's coughing, and he glanced to his brother for a moment, arching a brow.

Sarah paused for a moment to settle herself, breathing in first before answering. "I just wanted to come home. There's no reason, there's no scheme, nothing… I'm just trying to get a handle on myself again, that's all. I didn't think you were here, the lights were off and no one seemed to be around." She obliged him with her answer, albeit weakly, despite how she tried not to sound or look it. But Sarah never had been the best at hiding her emotions on her face, or at least not with people who knew her well. In fact, probably the only time she was perfect at it was when the Brits had her under their thumb. But she doubted Sam would believe a word she said, let alone Dean. The look of distrust never once left the older Winchester's features, and once she'd answered, there was even a small squint. She knew all too well that meant he was debating whether to even give her a sliver of trust to believe her story. "Look, Dean, I-"

"Save it. I don't want the pity story you're cooking up there. I want you out of my kitchen and out the damn door. Because so help me, if I see your face in here again-" his voice, which had raised a little to cut the blonde off, was interrupted by his brother as he shot a look at Dean. Never once did Dean's attention leave her though. "Dean, slow down a sec. How'd she even get in?- how'd you get in?" The taller male's gaze shifted to Sarah with the second question, brows furrowed as he tried to work out the equation in his mind.

In any normal circumstance the woman would have been not just relieved but also glad to see the other brother, but any glimpse of those feelings was squashed by the fact that his reaction damn near mirrored Dean's. "I…I still had a key. Look, like I said neither of you were even home when I got here, I thought-" But she cut herself off there, licking her lips and clearing her throat as she quickly changed her words from 'I thought you were really gone' to: "I thought the place was empty, I just needed a place to…find my own head."

"Plenty of motels, coulda bunked down anywhere. Why here?" Dean's response came without skipping a beat. And Sarah had to try not to wince at the coldness in his voice.

That stung. More than she wanted to admit. She knew she'd done….horrible things, she knew that and so in a way she didn't blame him. But that didn't make it hurt any less to hear that from him. "Because this is home. This is square number one for me, I thought it would help-"

This time it was Sam who cut in, mulling over her words. "Help what, exactly? And why should we believe a word from you?"

"You don't wanna believe me, fine. I don't give a rat's ass. But if you're gonna shoot me, shoot me. If you really wanna hear jackshit from me? Stop reaming my ass out and take it or leave it." She sounded frustrated that time, wearily so, and likely because of the pain in her leg for the most part. Fumbling for the towel that had been dropped on the floor, she tugged it over and used it to tie around her thigh because her hand was not only getting tired but also not doing the best job of applying pressure, the blood already beginning to ooze out between her fingers. She grimaced through the sting of pain it shot through her leg, before resting her head back against the island once she'd finished the task and letting her eyes slide closed.

Dean shared a glance with his brother, jaw muscles clenched and gaze asking the silent question of 'your call, what's it gonna be?' because if it was up to him, he was ready to unload a clip in her. Sam was the one giving her any kind of leg to stand on here, so whatever sliver of the emerald eyed man that was giving her even a fraction of a chance, that was the part that was letting Sam make the call.

The taller male took that silent message, and glanced towards Sarah once more, a brief squint flashing through his eyes as he considered the options. "Alright, start talking then. From the beginning, no crap, tell us what happened since you left to work with the Brits."

This was going to be….a long ass night. She knew it would be. Though she supposed it would have been anyway, regardless of whether it went this way or not; the only difference in this version was that they were really still alive, and Sarah wasn't sure if that was more of a relief than it was pain. It was complicated. Whatever the case though, the tired huntress sighed, albeit shallowly due to her current state, but as pained as she was to do so she nodded with eyes closed as if to hide away from the two towering men while she tried to recall. Soon though her mind seemed to fail her, fading into simple darkness as the sounds around her dimmed out. Seconds turned into minutes, without her even realizing, as she stayed like that, unconscious to anything happening around her.

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[sofreddie]

The Parts You Hide 6

Summary: Dean brings Sam home from the hospital and confesses a few truths.

Characters: Bisexual!Sam x Closeted!Bisexual!Dean, Cas, John, Mary, Others

Warnings: Wincest (Not Related), M/M, Angst, Fluff

WC: 1,493

A/N: Two more parts after this to finish off the series. I'm so happy! Feedback is appreciated. : )

Series Masterlist

My Masterlist

Part 5

After forty-eight hours in the hospital, Sam was finally released home. He was eager to be out of the sterile, uncomfortable environment and back in the comfort of his home. He still didn't know what to expect from Dean, who hadn't left his side since showing up at the hospital. But he had hope that maybe things would be different.

"Think you can give me a ride home?" Sam asked with a wince as he lowered himself into the wheelchair to leave, as mandated by the hospital.

Dean looked at Sam as if he'd just grown a second head. "Of course, Sammy. You really think I'm letting you out of my sight again?"

Dean had been blaming himself, like a recording on repeat in his brain. If he had been there, he could have protected him. Sam never would have been in that situation with that dickhead Nick if Dean had just been open and honest with himself about his feelings for Sam.

He was determined not to make that mistake again.

As they exited the hospital, Sam was more than surprised and happy to see their friends waiting by Dean's Impala, smiling at the pair as they approached.

"There he is!" Cas smiled and patted Sam on the shoulder. "You had us worried."

"I'm good," Sam insisted, hugging each of their friends and allowing them to help him in the car.

"I'm just glad you're well enough to go home," Garth added with a smile, and Benny nodded his agreement.

"Don't worry," Dean insisted with a grin. "I'll make sure he's taken care of."

Bidding their farewells and promising to hang out soon, Dean climbed behind the wheel and drove Sam home. Some of him wanted to bring Sam to his house to take care of him, but he didn't want Sam to be uncomfortable. What if he hadn't forgiven him? What if Sam still didn't want anything to do with Dean? Besides, Sam's things were at his house, so Dean decided to take him there, thinking it would be best.

As soon as he had the car in park, Dean jumped out and rushed to the passenger door, opening it wide and reaching for Sam to help him stand from the car. While he was good enough to go home, he still had a lot of healing ahead of him. Leaning heavily on Dean, Sam allowed that man to help him into his house, gently dropping him to the sofa. Dean ran outside to lock up the car and retrieve his overnight bag, which he always kept ready in the trunk.

"Thanks for helping me," Sam smiled, his eyes flitting to Dean's familiar duffel. "I'm glad you're here. But you don't have to stay."

Dean tossed his bag aside, joining Sam on the couch with a broad grin. "Short of you calling the cops to remove my ass, I ain't leavin'." Dean insisted, taking Sam's hand to kiss the back before releasing him to fetch beers from the kitchen.

Sam accepted the bottle, his heart aching at the familiarity of Dean beside him. He had wanted Dean there for so long, to be with him for more than just good sex. Now that he was, Sam felt guilty, like he was trapping the man he still very much loved.

"I said some things the last time we saw each other."

Sam took a deep breath and glanced at Dean. He expected him to be stiff and roll his eyes at having this conversation again. Instead, Dean's gorgeous eyes glimmered, and his attention centered on Sam. Gathering courage, he continued.

"I know what I want. A-and I want you. I don't expect you to change your mind. But I'm not sure I can handle you being around here, taking care of me and acting like…like…"

Like a boyfriend, Sam couldn't bring himself to say the words, too scared he'd be met with the all-too-familiar sight of Dean's retreating as he headed for the door. He was grateful to have Dean there and knew he couldn't care for himself in his current condition, but maybe he should arrange with someone else. Having Dean and not having him at the same time was too painful.

"Sam," Dean sat forward on the edge of the couch, retaking Sam's hand and setting their beers aside. "Look, I haven't been right since you told me to get lost. I've missed you. It was so bad my family ran an intervention, and I punched Cas," he shook his head in shame at himself before meeting Sam's eyes. "You know how I feel about my family," he said, and Sam nodded, knowing full well that Dean's family meant everything to him. "But you're my family, too."

Sam nodded, allowing Dean to pull him in for a kiss to the temple. It made Sam's heart flutter, but he tried his best to tame it. He was in no condition to do anything, and he was exhausted. But he could relish this quiet moment for just a bit longer.

-

In the morning, Sam stumbled to the kitchen, intent on making coffee. His weak legs forced him to use the wall for support. He stopped at the sight of Dean there—hair mussed, in a T-shirt and boxer briefs—working at the stove making breakfast. It seemed normal and domestic, but Sam still struggled to accept any of it, worried that Dean would inevitably leave again.

"Mornin'," Sam cleared his throat with a tight smile.

Dean's grin was luminous as he turned to Sam, placing a hand on the man's waist and leaning in to kiss his cheek gently. Sam's cheeks burned hot as Dean casually returned to his task.

"Breakfast is almost ready. Your pills are on the counter."

Sam turned where indicated, grabbing a water bottle and taking his pills. His body ached terribly, but he felt increasingly better at home with Dean by his side.

"I'm surprised you're still here," Sam said, leaning against the counter and fidgeting with the bottle in his hands.

Dean sighed, finishing his task and turning off the stove as he moved the pan to a cool burner. Suddenly, Sam was boxed in against the counter. Dean cupped his cheek, forcing Sam to meet his eyes.

"I'm not going anywhere," Dean insisted, gazing into the younger man's wet eyes. "Before, I was worried about what people would think. But it's out there now. And my family - my father's - disappointment is nothing compared to yours." He urged. "I can live without them; I've been on my own for a while. I cannot live without you. I tried, and I suck at it," he chuckled, pressing his forehead to Sam's. "I need you."

Sam nodded, understanding all those words held from Dean - all he'd ever wanted from Dean.

"I need you, too."

The kiss they shared felt like coming home and embarking on something entirely new and exciting. Sam whimpered as he tilted his head to kiss Dean deeper. He was suddenly hungry for it. He knew they couldn't go further in his state as much as he might want to. But it didn't matter, as a round of knocks on the front door ended the kiss before it could try to go any further.

"I'll get it," Dean whispered, pecking Sam's lips again before answering the door.

Dean's glee changed to shock as he witnessed his parents and Castiel at the threshold, Mary clutching one of her signature pies.

"Hi, Dean," Mary beamed. "Where's Sam?"

Mary let herself inside, inching past a stunned Dean with John and Cas following after. Dean shook his head and shut the door, wondering what fresh hell would unfold.

"Oh, Sam!" Mary cried, placing the pie in Sam's hands, cradling his face, and examining his bruises and injuries. "Oh, you poor thing."

"I'm fine," he smiled his most charming of smiles, dimples and all. "Thanks for the pie."

John snorted. "It was just an excuse. She was bouncing off the walls to see you, worried sick."

"Oh, hush," she chastised, still worrying over Sam. "He's been a part of this family for a long time. Practically a son. Of course, I'm gonna worry."

Dean moved to Sam's side, rescuing home from his mother's onslaught. John and Cas both glanced at Dean with knowing expressions and silent insinuations. Sam could immediately sense the awkwardness.

"It's good to see you together again," Cas casually remarked. "It was weird you two being apart."

John sighed, and Dean tried to shut down any argument his father could have.

"I may not like it or understand it," John admitted. "But I want you to be happy. Mary's right; Sam's like a son to us. Family comes first, so we'll do our best to support you."

Dean sighed in relief, the tension in his muscles seeping away. His father's reluctant acceptance was enough for now, allowing any lingering worry he had about him and Sam to fade away.

PART 7

FOREVERS:

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[pascaloverx]

Sweet Love (+18)

Summary: You're an up-and-coming writer, congratulations. To protect your beloved job, you're willing to do anything. Even strike a deal with the devil, better known as your sister's neighbor. You and Dean Winchester don't really see eye to eye, but in a moment of desperation, you agree to collaborate with him for a greater good.

Author's Notes: Many characters do not belong to me but to the Supernatural Universe (2005-2020). I hope you enjoy the fanfic's story. The fanfic will contain strong language and adult content. This chapter has adult content. Minors should not interact with this chapter.

chapter three chapter five

CHAPTER FOUR

Your writing has improved a lot. Your characters are getting more and more fiery. Dean has been showing up every night when Sam falls asleep. Between caresses and erotic lessons, you are progressing. But this hiding thing, and the fact that you haven't had sex with him yet, is driving you crazy. Mainly because you didn't want to feel like sleeping with him.

"We'll have to be faster today. Sam is suspicious of both of us." Dean says as soon as he enters your sister's apartment.

"Are you so afraid of what Sam will think if he finds out that you and I are..." You start to speak but are interrupted by Dean's lips, which touch yours forming a kiss. A long kiss, even, but soft. Without the desperation of lust or the rush due to lack of time.

"That you and I have an agreement that allows me to kiss you without thinking too much about the feelings involved? Yes, I'm afraid. I like things the way they are." Dean completes what you were saying. You look at it and feel like there's something wrong with Dean.

"What are you hiding from me?" You question looking Dean in the eyes. He smiles slightly as if you had discovered a secret of his.

"Castiel got in touch. Apparently he wants me to go to his wedding. With a man I don't even know." Dean looks uncomfortable. You don't really know what to say to him.

"And do you intend to go?" You ask, letting your curiosity speak stronger.

"What do you think?" Dean asks and you notice that he doesn't want to answer so he's trying to get you to take responsibility for translating his feelings.

"I think you're scared. Your great love is about to marry someone else. And you're scared because you still must have feelings for him." You respond by gently stroking Dean's head as if to give him some comfort.

"That's not why I came here." Dean says coming towards him, kissing you. That's when his hands hold your waist and place you on the kitchen counter.

"Are you sure you want to do this? Today?" You say breaking the kiss. Obviously Winchester has a goal. But is he using you to forget Castiel?

"I thought that's what we're here for. Or do you prefer to talk about feelings?" Dean is definitely bothered. Despite his response, you are still very close to each other physically.

"Dean, avoiding talking about something doesn't make it go away. But if you want to have sex to forget your ex, you should look elsewhere." You say, moving Dean's body away from you. He looks regretful and then his gaze rests on you.

"Yes, I am upset. It's stupid to want to pretend that I don't care but it's also stupid to focus on the subject. I would like to enjoy this moment with you. Is there something wrong with that?" Dean says, approaching you and lightly holding your thighs. You look at him seriously.

"Nothing's wrong with that." You say, still a little sullen, and then you feel Dean kiss your neck. His kisses make a trail to your lips. When your lips touch, you feel like deepening the kiss. Your hands start taking off his clothes. He almost hikes up your skirt to remove your panties with his fingers. His fingers lightly press your pussy, which makes you mutter some bad words. And then he slides your panties away from your body. Without saying a word to each other, you and him continue kissing. His fingers lightly touching the entrance to your pussy, which by the way is wet.

"Are you going to regret this?" Dean asks as he grabs your waist and pulls you closer to him. You then cross your legs even tighter around his waist and position him at the entrance to your pussy.

"Not for a second." You respond by moving your body to help Dean enter you. You need it. Now.

"Kitten." Dean says pointing down and you notice he's pointing at the condom in his hand. You shake your head, understanding that you need a little patience and watch him put the condom on his cock. A few seconds later Dean was practically buried inside you. So deep and strong that you couldn't control your moans. You scratch his chest as he kisses every part of you he can. You feel your ass slip more and more as the movements increase. Dean seems to want to help you with your balance so he practically picks you up so you can just focus on what you two are doing. You then kiss Dean as your bodies try to get in tune. But you two are a mess. A delicious mess. But a mess. After about three more thrusts, Dean began to stimulate your pussy to help you cum. He was then thrusting into you and massaging your pussy with his fingers. A few minutes later you and him came practically together. You almost melted into Winchester's arms.

"I think I can finish the book now." You whisper close to Dean's ear and he kisses you.

"It's always good to be useful." He speaks and you laugh. Then you kiss one last time. Then Dean quickly left your sister's apartment so he could go to his apartment without Sam noticing. And you decide to take a quick shower and then sleep. While your mind can't believe you actually fucked Dean Winchester.