#what can i say it's my love language
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aimbutmiss · 10 months ago
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Shanks woke up way too early that day, having barely slept from excitement. He was practically bouncing on his bed as he waited for his cabinmate to wake up, but Buggy was pretty much out cold. His patience was running thin as he watched his friend breath in and out in his state of deep sleep. What did Buggy get him as a gift, he wondered. He did disappear for a bit at the last island they stopped by... Just thinking about it made him giddy.
Buggy finally stirred out of sleep, yawning as he stretched his arms. Shanks immediately jumped on him, not able to control his excitement.
"Good morning, Bugs!"
Buggy rubbed his eyes groggily. "You're too loud so damn early..."
"It's not early at all! And sorry, heh." Shanks finally lowered his voice. He waited for his friend to say something, but he just pushed him away and got up.
"You stink." was all Buggy said as he made his way to the bathroom.
So, no immediate birthday wishes. That was fine. Buggy was never a morning person, and he was still sleepy and grumpy. He'd come to after washing his face.
Except, he didn't. No one else did either. It was like any regular day on the ship, and no one wished him a happy birthday.
Shanks went on his day like usual, doing his chores except with a big frown. He tried peppering in hints about the special occasion in his conversations, but no one seemed to pick up on it. As the day went on, his sadness grew and grew. Did no one care about him enough to remember his birthday? He was turning 14, yet all the excitement of it died in him. Roger cared every year to throw parties for him and Buggy, why would he suddenly forget? It didn't make any sense. And even if no one remembered, he always believed Buggy would. But here he was, going about his day like usual and ignoring him.
Shanks had never felt so unwanted and unloved before.
Towards the evening, Rayleigh came into the cellar as Shanks was cleaning up. He made a move to leave but Rayleigh halted him with a touch.
"You can't leave yet. I have something to tell you."
Shanks' eyes grew bigger and he bit his lips in excitement. This was it! Of course, Rayleigh would remember. The man loved to act tough but he was a big softie on the inside.
"You missed a spot. Mop it better."
...
"Okay..."
Shanks felt tears sting in his eyes as he turned around to mop the floor. The sound of Rayleigh's steps as he went up the stairs blurred in the background. Maybe he had always been a stupid chore boy to them. No one cared. And maybe, Buggy really meant it when he said he was a bother... He sniffled as the wet mop dragged on the wooden surface.
He wanted to run away, but he had no where to go to in the middle of the ocean. God, he hated this. He really didn't want to pity himself, but the tears weren't stopping. He heard footsteps and turned around to see Buggy at the entrance.
"Oi, idiot-" He stopped when he saw Shanks' teary face. "What's wrong?"
Shanks angrily wiped away his tears and turned away to hide his face. "It's nothing. Just leave me alone."
"Don't give me that, you asshole!" Buggy stomped over angrily and... held his face? He gently wiped away the tears with a swipe of his thumb.
"What are you doing?" Shanks asked between sniffles.
"Giving you time to cool off, so you don't embarrass yourself when we go up."
Shanks' brows furrowed in confusion. "What do you mean?"
"Everyone's waiting for you, so just calm down and breathe. You wouldn't want them to know you were crying, right?"
Shanks took a second to do as his better half said, still not quite understanding but feeling better with Buggy by his side. Once his face was less red and the teartracks were nowhere to be seen, Buggy held his hand and led him up the stairs. A big commotion happened when they emerged from the door.
"SURPRISEEEE!!!"
Shanks looked around in confusion, the sound of confetti popping startling him. There was a big, red cake in the middle of the deck with everyone huddled around it. The huge banner hung between the polls read "Happy Birthday Shanks!"
Roger made his way over to Shanks and gave him a big, squeezing hug. "My boy's a man now! Can't believe you've grown this much. 14, huh? How time flies."
He pulled away with a smile but it dropped immediately once he realised the boy in his arms was crying. "What's wrong, boy?!"
Rayleigh watched the panicked captain with a pained expression, sighing with crossed arms. "I don't think the surprise party was a clever idea like you thought, Captain."
After the misunderstanding was cleared, the party commenced in full speed. Music was playing, gifts were being exchanged, Shanks even got to blow the candles and make a wish. He wished for the same thing he did every year, looking over at Buggy and closing his eyes before blowing out the flame.
Later down the evening, Buggy approached Shanks, who was shoving cake in his mouth like his life depended on it.
"I can't believe you cried again after I tried so hard to not embarrass you."
Shanks turned to Buggy with a smile and frosting covering his face. "I don't care about that! I was just so relieved... I really thought you had forgotten."
Buggy shook his head. "As if I ever could, you dumbass."
He pushed a small, red box into his hands. Shanks eagerly opened it to find a small friendship bracelet, matching the one his friend was wearing. He immediately put it on with a smile. "Thank you, Buggy!"
Buggy rubbed his nape as red spread across his cheeks. "It's nothing big, but a lot of my budget went into the other thing so I didn't have many options..."
"Other thing?"
Buggy motioned to the box again, which was empty except for a piece of paper. Shanks turned to him in confusion.
"It's my Vivre Card."
Shanks stared at him in pure surprise, his eyes widened like saucers. "Seriously?!"
"Yes, seriously." Buggy smiled shyly. "I still can't believe you genuinely thought I forgot... I'll never leave you alone, especially not on your birthday. And if I do, you can always find me with this."
Shanks got teary eyed once again, staring at his friend with vulnerable eyes. "Really, never? You promise?"
"Oh my God, don't you dare cry again!" Buggy yelled, but didn't waste one more second to reply. "I promise."
It had been 25 years since then. Now Shanks, age 39, sat alone in a corner of his ship, somehow having managed to ran away from the party his crew threw for him. He stared at the Vivre Card on his palm, motioning somewhere far into the horizon, wondering where his friend was and how he was doing.
Never, huh...
Oh, how he wished Buggy had kept his promise, and he didn't lack the guts to follow him.
Maybe next year, he thought to himself, like he did year after year.
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lunarcrown · 11 months ago
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Renthubs commission for @dioslab from @plumelagoon from their fic "eros and psyche" ~~ please read it and get all misty eyed like I did at a tale of curses, arranged marriage, lunar kings and demon princes! And also check out the official matching art piece that @briseise did for their collab a bit back right here!!!! it's beautiful as all things honey does of couuurse!!!
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mulders-too-large-shirt · 2 months ago
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thinking about how mulder loves to get scully a gift, usually terribly heartfelt, even if disguised as something flippant:
the superbowl vhs tape he brings her when she wakes up from her coma in one breath (and her deadpan "i knew there was a reason to live")
tickets for a football game to watch together in irresistible
bringing her flowers to the hospital in memento mori (he lies, saying he stole them from a guy with broken legs to make her laugh)
the birthday keychain in tempus fugit (and when she finds a meaning to it, he claims "i just thought it was a pretty cool keychain")
that is a man who is always thinking about her.
#you can just picture him at the store thinking “oh boy she's gonna love this :)”#i think the superbowl vhs one chokes me up the most because he's trying so hard to play it cool when he had just lost her#and he needs to break the ice somehow because he hates to put those big feelings into words#he's more into saying what he means with touch and subtext#it's as if he needed SOMETHING off of the shelf at the store to say “i'm glad you're back. i missed you. i hope you're well”#so he goes with a dumbass VHS she is never going to watch. just to see her recognize his coded declaration of love.#and that exhausted smile she reserves for his antics#and it makes me tear up! still! thinking about it!#i know love languages are problematic but i do think there is something underrated about giving gifts as an act of love#of having your thoughts for someone being represented with a physical object. making that love tangible. you can touch it.#(it works very well on me because i tend to assume if you're out of sight you're not thinking about me)#(so looking at a little trinket someone gave me is like oh!!! they actually are thinking about me often. enough to find this Thing)#anyway. that is my emotional ramble for the evening. please enjoy#AND DISCLAIMER: i am sure there are other examples of him giving gifts i forgot and that there are more yet to come#but as a reminder i have only seen up to s5 ep 3 so! pls no spoilers even if i do tag this for the general public#okay promise? promise no spoilers in the tags? thank youuuuu mwah#the x files#txf#msr#fox mulder
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iridescentmirrorsgenshin · 4 months ago
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I have no other place to yap this to so I apologise in advance.
I find it interesting in Alhaitham and Kaveh’s voicelines they tend to talk about each other A LOT in a way of complaining. Such as in Alhaitham’s Good night voiceline where he says that he’d prefer that Kaveh wouldn’t be home at all because all the chaos and noise he makes in the dead of the night. Or in Kaveh’s Good Morning voiceline where he says that he hopes that you don't run into someone who ruins your day first thing in the morning.
I guess it’s what makes other people think that they despise each other’s company. Yet they’re always viewed as a pair and Alhaitham could’ve kicked Kaveh out of the house ages ago. But what’s your opinion on that?
Hiya! there's no need to apologise, this is a safe space for all haikaveh! When I tell you your ask is scratching my brain I mean ITCHING, I have so many thoughts about this part of their dynamic so thank you for enabling me <3 This turned out to be rather long, so I hope it’s helpful to you!
The contention in both Alhaitham and Kaveh’s character stories and voice lines seems to be to create intrigue about the two as individuals, and, in turn, their relationship.
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Alhaitham’s ‘good night’ voice line instantly serves as a contradiction to his character. It’s interesting, and telling, that Alhaitham, who is essentially Kaveh’s landlord, and mentions this within his fourth character story, alludes to Kaveh by using ‘roommate’ rather than ‘tenant’. ‘Landlord’ evokes a position of authority over the tenant, whereas ‘roommate’ indicates an equality between two people sharing a house – since it’s Alhaitham who advocates for the term ‘roommate’, it’s telling that, as opposed to what Kaveh believes, Alhaitham wants to establish equality between them.
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In terms of what Alhaitham says in this voice line, it explicitly raises a contradiction in the form of a question: if Alhaitham is truly bothered by his roommate’s antics, why doesn’t he simply evict Kaveh?
This is relevant as this question is also posed when we initially meet Kaveh within the Archon Quest, as Kaveh states he dislikes Alhaitham’s personality, to which Alhaitham responds by saying if he bothers Kaveh so much, Kaveh always has the option to move out of the house – to which Kaveh perceives as a threat, only to then dismiss this as Alhaitham ‘changing the subject’, which seems to mean that this ‘threat’ is taken as baseless. As this isn’t called back to, this seems to be the case.
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There is no real threat of eviction, and regardless of their disputes, Alhaitham ultimately gives Kaveh no ultimatum to move out. In fact, as discussed here (page 27), as we are meeting Alhaitham and Kaveh for the first time, Alhaitham allowing Kaveh to live with him contradicts his established character of living a life free of inconvenience. This instantly creates intrigue around his and Kaveh’s dynamic – who is Kaveh to Alhaitham for this exception to be made to Alhaitham’s peaceful way of life?
(An additional note of interest is that Alhaitham’s solution to the noise problem seems to be more uncomfortable than calling on Kaveh and telling him to stop his work. Alhaitham says that he’d rather not wear his noise-cancelling earpieces to bed, implying that he does so when noise is a problem at night. However, there’s no mention of Kaveh being stubborn when confronting this issue, which is why he takes to wearing his ear pieces, or any mention of confrontation at all. From this voice-line, it seems that Alhaitham avoids interaction by opting for the least comfortable option, which can be a contradiction to his character. As this is a rather brief voice-line, it’s difficult to ascertain why, but I like the idea that Kaveh is productive at night, and Alhaitham prefers not to impose on Kaveh’s work process – but this is more a headcanon than evidenced interpretation.)
Returning back to the contradiction within this voice-line, at a surface glance, this does appear to be a general complaint about Kaveh, and this can be found in Alhaitham’s lines about Kaveh, and also when discussing Tighnari. Alhaitham refers to Kaveh as ‘overly sensitive’, and ‘constantly making a fuss’.
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These can easily read solely as complaints, but when looking to the original CN translation, another interpretation can be found here. Alhaitham describes Kaveh as ‘caring’ or ‘tender’, which is exactly how Kaveh is described within the 3.6 special program (as per minimushiroom on twt), which can allude to how Kaveh is considerate to a fault, in that this serves as a detriment to himself.
This can be seen in Alhaitham’s other Kaveh-centred voice-line, in which he describes Kaveh buying keychains in order to provide meals for sick children, even though healthcare is free in Sumeru. Alhaitham clearly holds the view that this was a redundant action, as Kaveh, being in debt, most likely doesn’t have the money to spend on such investments that are, evidently, dubious.
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As Alhaitham provides a rational view here, this contrasts with Kaveh’s act of generosity fuelled by emotion – which highlights the contention Alhaitham has with Kaveh, in that Kaveh places himself in dangerous situations for the sake of others. However, as this can be perceived as a solely derisive line, this essential context is lacking, and can be easily misconstrued. (I think the EN translation here also coincides with this narrative, as minimushiroom notes that the original CN has Alhaitham refer to Kaveh’s sensitivity in a positive way, rather than contemptuously, as the English can be interpreted as.)
Kaveh, similarly, can be seen to complain about Alhaitham in his own voice-lines. This can be seen in the 'Good Morning' voice-line you've mentioned, where Kaveh complains about having to see Alhaitham in the morning, which 'ruins' his day. Additionally, Kaveh's voice-lines discussing Alhaitham refer to Alhaitham as ‘infuriating’ and not wanting to give Alhaitham the satisfaction of thanking him, despite Alhaitham helping him out. However, there is more nuance in these voice-lines than Kaveh simply ‘disliking’ Alhaitham, as this dislike is never stated - rather that he and Alhaitham have a difficult relationship in comparison to the ‘close’ friendship of their past.
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Kaveh describes their relationship being a ‘mixed bag’, of both negatives and positives, as well as establishing a thorough understanding of Alhaitham, where other people may misinterpret Alhaitham as they ‘don’t know him well enough’. Additionally, Kaveh notes that he knows that Alhaitham can present himself in a more ‘likeable’ manner, but that Alhaitham refuses to do so, which refers to Kaveh’s contention with Alhaitham discussed within his character stories. This, in turn, generates curiosity, as it appears that Kaveh holds an in-depth knowledge of Alhaitham that the player isn’t privy to.
Referring back to Alhaitham’s ‘Good Night’ voiceline, the question raised is, if Alhaitham has a problem with Kaveh, why doesn’t he just evict Kaveh? And the answer can be found by digging further into Alhaitham’s character stories. Looking to Alhaitham’s fourth character story, it states that he is aware of the dissatisfaction Kaveh may have with their living arrangement but  that ‘it matters not to him’.
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This means that he is aware that Kaveh may be unhappy with having to rely on someone else for a stable livelihood, something which his pride doesn’t naturally allow, but that this is also exacerbated due to their previous falling out and the current contentions Kaveh has with him.
At first, this can seem rather abrasive, which does fall in line with Alhaitham’s egoism as this doesn’t directly impact ‘the self’ (discussed further here), however, what immediately follows is Alhaitham’s belief that he and Kaveh are mirrors, in that his own perspective of the world will be enhanced - in the og CN, ‘completed’ -by Kaveh’s own world view.
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The implication generated here with the explicit term ‘mirror’, is that, just as Alhaitham benefits from Kaveh, Kaveh, in turn, can benefit from Alhaitham. (As a side note, it is interesting then that the voice-lines in question can be seen to mirror each other – Kaveh mentions Alhaitham in ‘Good Morning’ whereas Alhaitham mentions Kaveh in ‘Good Night’.)
Returning back to Alhaitham’s character story, rather than merely reflecting each other philosophically speaking, I’d say that this also points to their respective progression as people, not just scholars.
To me, this is reminiscent of what Alhaitham says to Kaveh in A Parade of Providence – being ‘correct’, ultimately, doesn’t matter, as there is no ‘correct’ path in life, meaning that there is no ‘correct’ philosophy to shape and guide a person. Rather, Alhaitham asserts that, ultimately, their opposing philosophies are not the issue that exists between them.
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The issue that does exist, then, can be surmised from Alhaitham’s actions during the event (discussed further here), in which he researches into Sachin to gauge his influence over Kaveh’s father journeying into the desert, with implicit hopes of providing closure for Kaveh, and potentially assuaging Kaveh’s guilt. This is a personal act with a personal motive; the underlying motive being concern, as opposed to an assertion of ‘correctness’.
In my opinion, I think Alhaitham’s actions during A Parade of Providence are a direct reference, and fulfilment, of Kaveh’s fifth character story. I’ve discussed here that the main reason for the ending of their friendship was them asserting the correctness of a philosophy over the other, and proposing one philosophy as the ‘solution’ to the other’s perceived flaws.
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Here Alhaitham can be seen to use Kaveh’s past as the reason for his excessive altruism, implicitly referring to Kaveh’s guilt over being the supposed catalyst for his father’s demise. This final comment of Alhaitham’s appears to be the first time this has been mentioned between them, and it’s enough to be perceived as weaponisation – leading to Kaveh severing their friendship.
In A Parade of Providence, Alhaitham is shown to only have taken the role of commentator to research into Sachin, whose research we are told (by Kaveh), he has no explicit interest in, and it is heavily implied that the only reason he looked further into Sachin, was to prove to link between Sachin and Kaveh’s father. Alhaitham seems to want to absolve Kaveh of this past guilt in hopes that Kaveh will stop placing himself in the cycle of self-sabotage.
For me, when viewing this as a parallel, it highlights that Alhaitham’s motivation in speaking out during their days as students was out of concern for Kaveh, although while holding egoism as ultimately beneficial, and therefore perceivably ‘correct’. The ‘issue’ they’re currently debating is not expressly stated, and although it is unclear if Kaveh understands the implication (as discussed here), as ‘correctness’ has been overturned, there seems to be little left than the personal.
Relating this back to Alhaitham’s fourth character story, for me, Alhaitham referring to Kaveh as a mirror isn’t just referring to Kaveh as a scholar, but a person as a whole. As Alhaitham seeks to improve himself, personally, through Kaveh, it seems that he hopes to be able to benefit Kaveh in turn.
As for Kaveh’s complaints regarding Alhaitham, these can be contextualised within his own character stories. As Kaveh ultimately severed the friendship between him and Alhaitham, Alhaitham offering Kaveh to live with him, despite Kaveh revoking his previous understanding of Alhaitham (as discussed here, page 67), causes Kaveh to be overtly suspicious.
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In Kaveh’s Old Sketchbook, it is mentioned that Kaveh believes there to be an ulterior motive for Alhaitham inviting him to share a house, as he believes that Alhaitham wouldn’t do something for someone else without an exchange.
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Kaveh, then, openly distrusts Alhaitham due to this unspoken motive, and although he takes on chores to ease his sense of guilt of being a perceived burden, a contention arises here. Due to their previously ended friendship, and with how Alhaitham hurt Kaveh, and how Kaveh may believe he hurt Alhaitham (discussed here), Kaveh sees no reason for Alhaitham to want him around – he treats their relationship as an exchange, asking what Alhaitham could possibly want for him.
Although Alhaitham views Kaveh as a mirror, and therefore, respects Kaveh’s perspectives, Kaveh can potentially view their opposing philosophies as a negative rather than a positive as he had done in the past (as discussed here), as it, perceivably, was what led to the end of their friendship. In this, Kaveh views Alhaitham as disparaging him and his views. As mentioned in his character story, he has no reservations in telling Alhaitham of his debt as Alhaitham has already seen through him in the past, and yet again, upon meeting at the tavern.
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Although Alhaitham perceivably views him unfavourably, and his comments and complaints appear to propagate this interpretation, Alhaitham also seems to have no issue with keeping Kaveh around, and interacting with Kaveh, regardless of the problems Kaveh expressly has with him.
To Kaveh, it could be that as Alhaitham has already seen the worst of him, and appears to have no real issue with their stilted rapport, there is no point in donning a front and using niceties. He is open with his issues with Alhaitham, and, in turn, Alhaitham is open with him.
This appears to be a dual negative and positive for Kaveh, as he describes Alhaitham’s constancy as ‘the most unshakable part of one's past is a friend that will never change’. In this sense, his unsteady rapport with Alhaitham is reliable, and therefore, has no reason to change.
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Clearly, there is a large disconnect between Alhaitham’s view of Kaveh and how Kaveh perceives Alhaitham’s view of him. As previously mentioned in the discussion of A Parade of Providence, there is an unspoken ‘issue’ between them, and this can be interpreted as dire misconceptions borne from miscommunication.
As discussed, Kaveh and Alhaitham reference each other a lot in their respective voice-lines and their character stories. This alone is enough to connect them, regardless of the cruciality of their mirror motif, as they are key figures of each other’s past, present, and seemingly, future. Despite this, it’s as you say, there’s a common perception to view them as mutually disliking each other, and, to me, this is based upon their first initial interaction, and the way they refer to each other in their own character stories and voice-lines.
It’s notable that Alhaitham refers to Kaveh in his voice-lines when Kaveh is not explicitly relevant, such as in his Good Night voice-line, and, most interestingly, when Alhaitham discusses Tighnari.
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This could be because Alhaitham knows of Tighnari through Kaveh, but as this connection isn’t stated, it reads as Alhaitham mentioning Kaveh for no other reason than to complain about his perceived naivety regarding relations with others. But as this is a voice-line designated to discussing Tighnari, it’s interesting, and incredibly noticeable, that Alhaitham then discusses Kaveh instead. It’s similar to what Kaveh can be seen to do, and is observed to do by others, in relation to discussing Alhaitham.
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When it comes to Kaveh, however, his complaining of Alhaitham can be seen to link with his process of dealing with troubles in his work. In his Hangout, he states that he takes his work to heart because he cares about it, which is expressed in the same quest in which Kaveh and the Traveller run into Alhaitham in the House of Daena (discussed further here, page 219).
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Drawing a parallel here can further contextualise Kaveh’s complaining of Alhaitham – if Kaveh truly disliked Alhaitham, there seems to be no reason for Alhaitham to remain so relevant to him, both in conversation, and in private thought. Additionally, Kaveh is described as an empathetic person, and when dealing with others, he is thusly seen to look for another perspective rather than act on his own subjective perspective.
Looking at his voice-line on Dori, for example, expresses his distaste for Dori pressuring him for Mora due to his debt, however, he also empathises with her, and states that he senses there must be a reason why Dori acts in such a way.
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In contrast, this empathy can be perceived as missing in his treatment of Alhaitham, and therefore Kaveh complaining about Alhaitham can be perceived as blatant dislike – which contradicts Kaveh’s benevolence and empathy, which A Parade of Providence particularly stresses.
Kaveh’s treatment of Alhaitham can be seen as deliberately contradictory, as it can cause the player to question why Kaveh reacts in such a singular way to Alhaitham, just as why Alhaitham reacts in a singular way to Kaveh.
In reference to Alhaitham, whilst Alhaitham tends to complain about Kaveh in turn, his actions reveal him. He invites Kaveh to live with him, gives no eviction date, pays for Kaveh’s tabs willingly, (supposedly) buys wine as an apology, and goes out of his way to ensure dialogue with Kaveh – which contradicts his own character stories, in which he appears to favour solitude, and only greets those he considers his friends ‘with a nod or two’.
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Moreover, Alhaitham is established as considering Kaveh a necessity to his ‘peaceful life’ he seeks to maintain (as discussed here), and can be seen to implicitly consider Kaveh one of his priorities within his Story Quest.
The idea that Alhaitham dislikes Kaveh seems to stem from Alhaitham being taken literally when voicing an opinion, or an issue, or simply joking, in reference to Kaveh – despite his character stories highlighting that Alhaitham often uses sarcasm in order to subvert expectations.
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Alhaitham expressly states that he prefers to be seen as inscrutable, and unknown, by the general public, and uses subversion as a means to do so. In these character stories, Alhaitham openly encourages speculation of his own words.
Without this context, it seems easy to simplify Alhaitham to purely speaking factually when first addressing Kaveh in the Archon Quest – stating that having to explain things to Kaveh is ‘a nuisance’, and yet, it is overlooked that Alhaitham stays in the House of Daena, regardless, knowing Kaveh would find him again.
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On the whole, in my opinion, Kaveh’s feelings towards Alhaitham cannot be simplified to ‘dislike’ as this is dually an inherent misunderstanding of his character, and of his and Alhaitham’s relationship, just as Alhaitham’s feelings towards Kaveh cannot be simplified to ‘dislike’ for this same reason.
In the beginning, Alhaitham and Kaveh are not supposed to be perceived as friendly, as Kaveh denies the association of ‘friends’, and Paimon describes them to the Traveller as ‘problematic’.
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The reason for this is due to their character arcs being intertwined – the core issue is posed in Kaveh’s fifth character story, in that the question is raised if a compromise can be reached, if both sides of the mirror, can be balanced. At the beginning, they are entirely at odds, but even footing must be found.
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I’ve noticed a shift in online discourse after Cyno’s second story quest, as the progression in Alhaitham and Kaveh’s relationship is noticeable – deliberately, due to the flashback scene within their house (which I’ve discussed in detail here, page 122). To me, it’s more common to form the assumption that Alhaitham and Kaveh dislike each other in the Archon Quest, but with recent developments, and, hopefully, future ones, this perception is being overturned in online communities. Perhaps that’s just wishful thinking, but I’m still hopeful!
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turtleblogatlast · 9 months ago
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[ cw: violence mention / death mention / ]
Will never stop thinking about how Leo, all alone in an endless void and being beaten again and again and again by the only other living thing around, still finds comfort in that space. The situation he was in was completely hopeless, and in any other circumstances he would not have escaped, at least not fast enough to save him from permanent (or even fatal) damage, be it physical or mental.
And yet, despite the bleakness of his situation, despite the agony and helplessness, all he needs is one glance at a crumbled photograph, one glance to remember his family, and that’s enough of a reason for him to smile.
Maybe that’s why his powers center around manipulating space - because no matter how much space is between them, no matter how dire his own situation may be, just the thought of his family, alive and okay, is enough to give Leo hope.
#rottmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rottmnt leo#rise leo#the prison dimension is horrifying on its own#add in a monstrous being that towers over you and has vowed to ensure your suffering?#god I can’t imagine how scary that is#Mikey opening the portal was a miracle because if he hadn’t managed it there#it’s really up in the air what could have become of Leo#personally I subscribe by the theory that you straight up can’t die in the prison dimension#so it’s a prison in all ways#but the thought of a Leo who manages anyway who adapts and continues to have hope despite it all…#Leo saying he’s nothing without his family is a double edged sword really#because the thought of his family alone is all he needs to live. to hope.#to smile#nothing without them…but they’re EVERYTHING to him#and maybe he doesn’t realize it but…the feeling is mutual#one thing too is that hope that comforts Leo so much is not just that#should he think his family needs help - that hope can turn into determination#I’m unwell about this family#actually on my point of their powers - I truly do think the abilities tie in not only to their personalities#but to their relationship to family and love in general#kinda like love languages in a way#Mikey with his chains and time abilities values being around his family the most - he wants them to experience living in the moment togethe#Donnie is someone who is 100% a gift giver to show his love - his constructs are exactly that aren’t they? gifts of his mind#Raph is someone who willingly bears the weight of the shield - he protects his family like the best big brother possible#and Leo - he goes off on his own a lot but his mind is constantly on his family anyway#like a sailor at sea no matter how far he travels the compass always point in one direction - and for him that compass points home#even if he can’t make it back - it’s still there#and that’s enough
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royalarchivist · 10 months ago
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[A sad violin song plays over an image of a sad hamster]
Pac: This doesn't have anything to do with me – I wear a blue sweatshirt, you're crazy, this mouse doesn't even have a sweatshirt, this hamster! [Reading chat] Am I a depressed hamster?
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[ Transcript continued ↓ ]*
Pac: Actually– that's fine! I embrace that idea – of course I'm going to be depressed, are you crazy? [He hits his desk, then starts counting off people on his fingers] Fit is gone, Richarlyson is gone, Ramon is gone, Bagi and Empanada who were always there when we were there are also gone, I haven't seen them! It's just me and Tubbo, and sometimes Philza shows up.
Pac: I lost Chume Labs, I lost the Favela, I lost Murder Mystery, I lost Ilha Chume Labs, it's crazy! Look at how much I've lost, and I've gained nothing! Of course I'm going to be depressed, are you crazy?! How am I supposed to be happy?!
Pac: [Reading chat] "You have us Pac," that's true, thank you. No, that's true, sorry.
* NOTE: Please note that this is an incomplete transcript, as I was primarily relying on Aypierre's translation mod at the time and if I am not confident of the translation, I do not include it. As always, please feel free to add on translations or message me corrections.
#Pactw#QSMP#Pac#March 18 2024#As much as I love keeping people updated about Pac / the other Portuguese-speaking creators#I think I might not make as many transcribed posts for their clips anymore#I just don't think I'm qualified enough to be transcribing things for a language I don't know#like yeah we have the Qlobal Translator and Aypierre's translators to rely on#And I'm always upfront when I'm not 100% sure about a translation#but I've been thinking about it a lot and it kinda makes me feel a bit icky. Idk.#I might be overthinking this but I just I don't want to spread around translations I'm not super confident about#esp. since I know a lot of people cite my clips in analysis posts or link them to other people as resources#and 90% of the time I'm like ''Hell yeah I love seeing people getting a lot of use out of the archive''#but sometimes I get a bit anxious like ''Did I do a good enough job translating this''#''Am I ruining someone's entire perception of a conversation or character because I left one word out or mistranslated something?''#And like I said that's normally not a HUGE concern since if I'm not certain about a translation I just won't post a clip. but you know#idk it might just be the anxiety talking but I really really don't want to spread bad info#Happy to hear other folks' perspective#I'm really grateful for people like Bell and Pix and others who translate clips and I always try to reblog those#but we don't have a ton of people posting clips & translating things on Tumblr since we're so English-centric#which is part of the reason WHY I like sharing clips of the non-English-speaking CCs#but at the same time I want to do an accurate job representing what they're saying#Maybe I'll just start posting things and give a TLDR context of what they're talking about but not a transcript#that way native-speakers can hop in and add translations if that's something they're comfortable doing#and if not then well. at least I'm not sharing something that isn't super accurate#idk I'm just thinking out loud a bit in the tags#But I'm open to hearing other people's thoughts on the matter#Anyways giant rant aside. q!Pac is NOT doing ok rn
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tomboxed · 4 months ago
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forward backward down X (close)
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gushersgauntlet · 2 years ago
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Love Language
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residentialhomeowner · 11 months ago
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a lot of people are using nex as a queer talking point without even mentioning they were choctaw and 2S. without even mentioning that this - harassment, assault, murder, disappearances, lies/indifference/denial about the circumstances of our death - is typical of the violence we face. not once have i seen non-native people address that we, as natives, face this same treatment within queer communities. that queer institutions use our land while declining to offer native-inclusive and -sensitive care. we suffer at the hands of white lgbt+ people just as much as we do at the hands of people outside the community.
nex is not your NB pariah. nex was a 2S, NB, choctaw child. thousands of native people go missing and are killed and no one cares. many are two-spirit. many are LGBTQIA+. many are "queer" in ways only defined and recognised by our closed cultures, that you may never hear of and may never understand.
if you are going to flock to nex, you are not going to take them from us post-mortem. they were choctaw. they were native. their tribal affiliation has already been falsely reported on. if you are talking about nex, you will talk about how unwelcoming and dangerous your communities are for us, too. you will talk about how natives face this violence constantly, everywhere. you will not remove nex from the context of them being choctaw, ever - or you won't say their name at all.
even when we die, you don't care about us. i am telling you to care about us if you want us to stop dying.
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home-of-the-squirmle · 23 days ago
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I'm drawing rn but I just wanna say. I feel we jayvik nation haven't truly tapped into the potential of their tickle antics being DIRECTLY correlated with them falling in love
#im calling a conference hey team we're doing fantastic i have some ideas. what if we made it way gayer#tickles? awesome. kisses? great? tickles and kisses??? exaaaaactly#maybe im just a fucking tickle freak but if I was crushing on my lab partner HARD...#and he starts playing with me with such an unmatched fondness and adoration#love in his eyes. blush on his cheeks#i would kiss the everloving fuck outta him#note: this isnt me saying tickles cant be platonic ooooobviously however these two are making out in the lab#worm rambles#actually small elaboration#tickles would directly influence them falling in love for two BIG reasons:#1. Jayce is alllll about touch. touch has been shown as his big love language throughout the show. he knows Viktor isnt big on touch...#but V allows Jayce to touch him more than anyone else. he trusts Jayce to connect with him in that way. this means so so so much to Jayce.#ie being able to tickle Viktor and be tickled BY Viktor is a huge huge symbol of love and trust for Jayce.#aside from his blatant tickle interest. Jayce is so SMITTEN by Viktor letting him play with him and be that intimate bc Jayce is puppy dog#and full of sm love#2. Viktor has NOT had good experience with touch and vulnerability. having someone like Jayce who not only takes it slow...#but also allows V to re-experience those things and warm up to it#means so...so much to Viktor#Jayce doesnt make him feel small or weak or broken when he plays with him like a child#he makes him feel...loved. beautiful#only Jayce can do this
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solasfenheral · 1 month ago
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I am just. chewing over and over again the connotations to Taash alternating between ‘mother’ and ‘Tama’
#there’s something so fucking interesting regarding language there#the Qun doesn’t have a word for mother so Shathann utilised tamassaran#and TALKS about how she wasn’t raised as one so she doesn’t know how to be this role#‘you used to call me Tama’ / ‘she’s not my priest!’#but Shathann tries to be a priest to Taash because that’s what she understands this approximation to ‘mother’ to be#and it’s so.#taash uses them interchangeably but also with an awareness TO language which makes SENSE considering them coming into their nb identity#I think so much about the scene where like#shathann says perhaps you’re aqun-athlok and taash’s response hits so hard because like#there’s no word in the qun a non gendered caste role#you can be rightfully recognised as trans but only if that adheres to your working caste role and it’s gendered nature#and you can just SEE like. a part of Taash is crying out in that moment why can’t you see me for who I am#why is your understanding of me confined to a binary#honestly like. the dehumanisation of the qun and antaam hurts taash’s story SO much because we can’t truly grapple with expanding upon the#Qun and expected roles and the confinement of that and WHY the antaam broke away#because we’re too busy trying to hand wave them as inhuman enemies#and it just does the confrontation between tassh#and the dragon king and EVERYTHING about shokra toh ebra a massive disservice#because only some of our qunari and the qun is afforded humanisation#god this game. I love it but GOD#tunes titters#veilguard spoilers#tunes talks critical
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starflungwaddledee · 1 year ago
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kirbytober 2023 21 + 26 : fav characters + ship [ prev || next ]
putting this at the top because it's extremely important but i received a message implying that some folks headcanon these two as drastically different ages. you may headcanon whatever you like of course, but in my work i firmly think that they're both full adults who are at least 25+. this is abundantly clear in my work. i'm not interested in headcanoning any of them as literal children and i would never touch that shit. dni if you think that sort of ship would actually be okay. don't be a freak. thanks.
very typical to take your favs and then also shove them together but isn't that the point. anyway i have literally never seen anybody else ship them (if you're out there... hello... 😭) despite them both being very main characters and i don't know why?? they could be so cute i think...
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they are both industrious adventurers, prolific hard-workers (team task doers), and a little cheekily competitive!
i think that bandee is no stranger to a wide variety of close and intense relationships; he's beloved by many and loves them all equally but distinctly in turn. magolor on the other hand has been sooo isolated and lonely for such a long-ass time, he barely knows how to be friends let alone really care for someone. bandee is smart enough to be suitably wary but kind enough to give him a chance despite that, which i think would knock him off his non-existent feet instantly. in reply, magolor could give him something unique by loving and prioritising him utterly singularly, in a way bandee wouldn't even have realised he was missing
in awtdy (pictured in the sketch page; if you see a tattered looking magolor in my art it's probably this au) in particular they are both thrown into the angst soup together and come out insanely trauma bonded at the hip. their friendship/relationship is central to the plotline; together they're working on a solution to the timeline anomaly, while also hiding that they even really know each other the whole time
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bhaal-battle-beer-bard · 5 months ago
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Astarion x Tav
📜🪶📜🪶💙🎻🫧🌹🌸🌹🫧🎻💙🪶📜🪶📜
request: for @aristenfromwarsaw
Fangtastic days of our lives
➹summary: a comforting day/evening in the life of Astarion and his love Aristen after post-game settling down, takes an unexpected turn as Astarion while enjoying his new found life and love, sees something of interest…
➹pairing: Spawn Astarion x F!Tav (Aristen by @aristenfromwarsaw)
➹content/tags: fluff, comfort, romance, smuty flirting, fun, slice of life, little tiny bit of angst and guilt
➹word count: 5,036 ➹ao3
➹cameos: @evander-jane Devana Lysander @alpydk Ragnar @goromimii @pinkberrytea (by order)
➹a/n: another belated birthday present for @aristenfromwarsaw  Thank you very much for all the great photoshoots you always did for me, just like that. Such things really fill my heart with joy. I hope you like it. Thank you for trusting me with your Tav Aristen. I take writing other OCs really serious, because an OC is very personal thing and it is way harder to get them in character. I used the infos/backstory you gave me once about Aristen for the best I could.
📜🪶📜🪶💙🎻🫧🌹🌸🌹🫧🎻💙🪶📜🪶📜
Fangtastic days of our lives
Teak, mahogany, oakwood, dried tobacco with the hidden essence of vanilla. From somewhere the sweetness of honey and roasted nutmeg.
These were impressions of antique wood, boiling kettles, clanging beer mugs and laughing voices that filled the Elfsong tavern.
It was like a honey-colored, subterranean, starless sea.
A sea of ​​people, scents, voices and music.
A sea of ​​life that would envelop the coming evening when the sun would have completely disappeared, making way for the aurora again after the starry night.
Astarion was acutely aware of his surroundings. Perception meant survival.
But not today…not anymore.
He could simply explore and enjoy his surroundings while he waited for his beloved:
Aristen the storm sorceress and former daughter of Bhaal. She was able to walk in the sun and as a vampire spawn he had to wait until the sun had made the rays that were fatal to him disappear.
That didn't matter to Astarion. He was used to the night.
But he never wanted to go back to that cold, lonely life.
The Sorceress, along with the other companions, had freed him from slavery once and for all. But it was she alone who had given him back the vision of his eyes, of his entire senses. Astarion could sit in the tavern and just be, taking in the surroundings of life.
No more looking for victims. No more fear. Never again.
The Elfsong Tavern was full of life and he was part of it.
So after hundreds of years, Astarion could finally taste life again. See it. Hearing it with his pointy ears and feeling and smelling it warmly with the scent of pumpkin, butterscotch and spicy beer.
A quite pretty bard with white freckly tattoos on her face and braided crimson hair beneath her Tiefling horns played the lyre on the Elfsong stage. Astarion noticed dagger-shaped earrings on her pointed ears. The Avernus fire of her origins blazed in her blue eyes as she sang:
“Empty kisses, shallow words,
Fiery passion only hurts
When the sorrow takes an oblivion hint
Will you cure and begone with the wind…”
Astarion continued to look around while the sadly whispering voice reached his elf ears.
“I hope someone sings a song like that for me too. Such expressions of love really manage to make me weak,” sighed a tall black-haired woman, whose face bore at least as many tales of adventure as freckles.
"Me too. But I really hope that the ballad has a happy ending,” replied a long-haired beauty at her table. The human woman's wavy, light hair framed a gentle face with captivating blue eyes.
“Oh you heard that? Oh no! ", the adventuress, ashamed, put her hands on her head with her side-braided hair and covered cringing with embarrassment one of the green eyes. "I should stop talking loudly to myself."
The other woman laughed a little and her wavy hair swayed on the shoulders of the long, light dress with floral embroidery: “It’s all good. I won’t tell anyone else.”
She winked briefly.
“But tell me…” she took her hands away from her face with the little different eyes, “…you’re not from Baldur’s Gate either, right? You also speak with a different accent than me.”
"Correct. I come from the East..."
“What did she say? Sêlune guide me?”
Astarion was distracted by an almost desperate voice that sounded at least as concentrated and angry as it was beer-soaked.
He saw a barbarian sitting at the next table, holding his beer mug almost too tightly.
The raised dark blonde hair did not distract from the piercings and black war paint, which Lae'zel would certainly have approved of.
“Okay, can I memorize this Sêlune prayer or not?” he muttered to himself and downed the beer in one gulp.
Astarion had seen him before and that evening he had stared at Shadowheart the whole time. Was the barbarian building up – or drinking up - the courage to speak to Shadowheart next time?
The vampire was distracted from the barbarian when a pale woman walked past his table accompanied by a brown-haired man. He noticed them because they both had scars on their faces. But no, that wasn't it at all. Something else drew his attention to them...they smelled somehow, almost reeked of...swamp? No magic.
That same hidden scent of feymagic that came from the black haired adventuress with the freckles.
The woman's pale face was friendly, almost cheerful. She enjoyed the music and the sad ballad. Did she know the feelings and sad love that the Tiefling woman sang about?
Astarion was all the more struck by the face of the dark-clothed man with the scarred hands who accompanied her: he was rigid and joyless and his eyes had an almost malicious shimmer. He didn't seem to suit her. He walked rigidly like an aristocrat or a trained soldier, or was he rigid because of the blade - that was clearly visible to the Rogue - that he wore under his clothes?
The man's gaze fell on the bard's dagger earrings. But not only the brown-haired human looked at the earrings, but also a white-skinned, tall elf who walked behind him. Astarion didn't know what was more noticeable: his large deadly sword, the long white hair, the black tattoos on his face, or...or the earrings in the shape of a dagger that hung from his ears.
He nodded almost imperceptibly to the bard and she returned his nod briefly.
Frowning, Astarion averted his gaze and looked around the taproom.
Many of the guests listened attentively to the ballad. Couples in love held each other tightly and some wiped a tear from their face.
“…in the dark of the night I see your tears
Rubies glisten full of pain
Rage and misery
Don’t get lost in brandy, bergamot and rosemary”
The ballad finished gently and the bard stood up.
"Thanks! And now for the bard duet!”
With a wave of her hand, she invited her partner onto the stage.
Wild white hair adorned the scarred drow face. It looked like survival for Astarion.
She could be young and old at the same time, that's how it was always with the elves. Young pretty faces and centuries behind them. Sorrow, suffering, joy. Everything was possible.
The narrow waist with the subsequent curved hips and thighs with short pants was adorned with a weapon belt with a sword and a flute.
The skilled hand whirled out a shiny silver flute and the duo began to play:
„Two bards do the trick, because bards do it better
Drow or Tiefling, it doesn’t matter
Shiny white hair, or wagging tail
Their persuasion will never fail“
They quickly changed the melancholic mood and the silver flute had a captivating sound, as if it were a homage to a goddess.
“One plays the flute, the other smashes lutes
Buy us a drink and we’ll tell you who is who“
A Tiefling whose rosé colored hair matched her white pink frilly clothing cheered enthusiastically to the tavern song.
Astarion heard her applaud with a giggling laugh. Cute little laughs with a sweet smile upon her light face.
It was that kind of sweet laugh that told the vampire how innocent, unspoiled, kind and naive the person was.
Yes, the delicate Tiefling woman was a sweet, innocent thing, Astarion could tell that with just a sideways glance of his red eyes. The sweet and naive kind of girl that immediately fell for him. Who he easily ensnared and seduced for Cazador. Or was she one of the people he would have avoided because they were so naive...innocent, undeserving of it? He would probably have avoided her if possible because such a sweet, lovely person didn't deserve to fall victim to the vampires.
Astarion closed his eyes briefly and grimaced at the emerging memories that he immediately wanted to repress.
Thanks to his beloved Aristen, he no longer had to do this.
He was free.
Cazador dead.
All of Baldur's Gate saved, saved from the Empire of the Netherbrain and the Mind Flayers.
Yes, thanks to the blonde adventuress whose fate was forever intertwined with his and all her other companions, he had escaped his fate as a slave. Their courage and their determination, with the help of the other fighters, allowed him to defeat Cazador.
But not only that, the storm sorceress had also given him love and patience. And the confidence to be better than Cazador. He didn't need blood-soaked, soul-eating power to be safe, to be worth anything.
Astarion would never have to hurt innocent people against his will again.
All thanks to her.
And yet Aristen did not consider herself to be good, nor to be lovable.
She loathed herself for her actions as a born Bhaalspawn, which she only dimly remembered. No one could hate her more than she hates herself.
And perhaps it was even worse for her, imagining every day what atrocities she had committed in the name of the God of Murder instead of knowing for sure.
She didn't see herself as a lovable hero, a savior. Astarion wished so much that she could see herself through his eyes just once. Then she would finally forgive herself.
The problem was that the sarcastic vampire had never said that to her and perhaps never would. There would always be something gnawing inside him, at his battered heart, that would prevent him from casually revealing his innermost, deepest feelings. What if he did lose her to someone else one day?  If it would not be an arrow or observer to steal her from him? How could he then pretend that his vain heart had not been destroyed for all eternity?
Darkness crossed Astarion's face at all the thoughts and he shook his head with his white curls to drive them away.
Once again he let his gaze wander over the audience, while his pointy elven ears only casually listened to the singing of the bards. It was only thanks to his beloved Aristen that he was able to recognize the diversity of the guests gathered. To be recognized again.
It had once been a faceless mass. At some point, after all the years of slavery under Cazador, the people in the taverns had become nothing more than a uniform mush to him. Victims, cattle like sheep, to his master. Criminals who hurt him and whom he hurt in return and they became victims of the vampire lord.
Dark, blank faces.
Without eyes, without soul. Just like Astarion himself had felt.
But after Aristen came into his life - with the craziest tentacle adventure of his life - everything had gradually changed.
First he recognized her blue eyes, then her face. The smile of her lips plagued by guilt and bloody ghosts of the past. The same smile as his own.
Then he saw all the faces, the people, their stories and lives again.
He saw the colors. The differences and the similarities. He heard the voices, the laughter, the music. He noticed the scents and smells again. Astarion saw joy and life again.
A scent that stood out from the rest of the tavern's smells suddenly tickled Astarion's nose.
Orchid drifted discreetly from the front door.
A slightly tickling shiver ran over the tips of his elf ears, while Astarion was already peering towards the door with large, round eyes.
Like the true epiphany she was, a blonde woman made her way through the elven song. Her appearance truly stood out from the rest of the tavern's audience:
Her delicately pinned hair and a ladylike, sweeping blue dress made her truly look like a lady of name and rank.
Astarion smiled as he looked at Aristen's appearance.
She always made an effort to look chic and beautiful, no matter what the circumstances. Like a true lady who belonged in a ballroom and not a tavern.
A ballroom, not a bhaalroom.
But Aristen loved all facets of life and also sat in the meadow under a tree in the forest with her fancy dress on.
If Astarion had his way, then very soon she would be pressed into the grass beneath him with the dress rumpled.
He chuckled dirtyly to himself as he couldn't help but think of that thought. And before he even thought about the first visit to his grave together, he shook his head and pushed it all away from his white curls.
"Darling..." Astarion stood up after Aristen made her way to him, having spotted him with a smile beaming with joy, "...you give me all sorts of ideas as always."
“What do you mean?” the high elf asked in surprise and blinked in confusion because she couldn’t follow him.
“Nevermind little love,” Astarion grinned mischievously and briefly kissed her delicate hand in greeting. He gently stroked Aristen's hand again as he slowly lowered it.
“The sun has already set enough for you to go out, Astarion,” his lover informed him. She would pick him up when it was safe for him outside.
"I've already run errands from a few merchants," Aristen spoke as the two left the tavern.
"Nice. Then we can now buy the rest together. Have you got everything so far?” asked Astarion.
The blonde nodded as they stepped outside.
Astarion sucked the air outside the elfsong into his lungs. Had breathing changed since he became a vampire? After all, he was undead.
Astarion didn't know. He couldn't remember, it had been too long.
In addition, the past no longer counted - smiling, he glanced furtively at Aristen who was carrying the basket with the purchases - only the present and the future counted.
“Yes, I did the grocery shopping that wasn’t of interest to you,” the blonde laughed and winked knowingly. “There was wonderful blossom honey, I couldn't resist,” enthused the sorceress, rolling her eyes heavenly at the thought of it and licking her lips in anticipation of the taste of the honey.
“Then I can taste it from your lips and tongue,” Astarion whispered seductively.
"What?"
“Oh, nothing…” the pale elf just grinned again.
His pointed ears were suddenly tickled by the brush of her lips as she leaned in very close to him.
“I heard you very well, my dear,” she whispered to him, her blue eyes sparkling meaningfully at him after she leaned back and gave him a knowing smile.
The vampire laughed. It was a serious laugh. It went from its sonorous, seductive, dirty murmur to a deep rumble before dying out in a high-pitched spike.
“I saw such a beautiful pair of earrings in the window at the Glitter Gala,” sighed Aristen languidly after she continued the story.
“So why didn’t you buy it, darling?”
Aristen shook her head: “Because it’s not necessary. I prefer to save our money for important things. After all, magical artifacts are expensive and the most important thing is that we find something that makes you immune to the sun.”
Yes, that was the ambition and current mission of Aristen and Astarion: to find a way for the vampire spawn to walk in the sun again.
Their friends also kept their ears and eyes open.
Gale read every book that might contain useful information.
Shadowheart, as well as Lae'zel on her travels through the astral planes, always sent them messages when they heard about mysterious artifacts.
And Halsin and Jaheira also reached out to all their acquaintances from near and far.
"If you hadn't used so much of our gold to rebuild the city and help its people, then you could afford any jewelry you wanted," Astarion nudged her with his shoulder and winked knowingly. The slightly accusatory tone was just an act.
“You know I wanted to try to somehow make amends for my actions when I was under Bhaal's control. This will never work, I know that. I can't bring back the people I killed. But I can at least try to help those left behind. It's too little. It’s no consolation…but at least it’s something.”
There was sadness in the blonde's voice. The look in her blue eyes was sincere before they slid slightly to the ground.
Astarion didn't like that, so he decided to cover up the whole thing: "I don't know what you're doing with this penance and compensation anyway."
He casually folded his arms behind his head and sounded as indifferent as he could.
“But…” he grinned playfully at the blonde Sorceress, “we could visit The Counting House again with Minsc. Then we have enough money to play benefactors and buy jewelry and beautiful clothes.”
Aristen raised an eyebrow with an amused grin: "You want to volunteer to do something with Minsc, really?"
“Now that you mention it…argh…better not. You may find him amusing, but he's always bursting in to chatter about his hamster at the most inopportune times. The guard almost caught me picking the lock of the Tabernacle when he suddenly stood loudly behind me, screaming my name and his hug almost broke every bone in my body.”
“What did you want at the Stormshore Tabernacle outside of opening hours?” Aristen asked with a raised eyebrow.
“Oh, nothing!” Astarion quickly dismissed the topic. Too fast.
“What’s next on the list for today?”
“We really have to go to the Devil's Fee. It has finally opened since the devastating battle against the Netherbrain and the reprocessing. If there are special artifacts or information about them anywhere, it’s there!”
Astarion nodded eagerly and the two elves walked quickly through the streets of Baldur's Gate.
"Oh no! No no no!” Helsik shouted from afar as her eyes saw Aristen.
The Sorceress blinked in confusion at the violent reaction and she looked around to see if anyone else was behind her, as the shopkeeper thought she might be.
“Not you!”
"I? But…"
“Nothing but!” Helsik cut her off. “After last time, I already told you that it was too hot to be seen with you and that the store was off limits for now. After the fuss you caused with your little friend and the black-haired fuzzy head.”
Astarion grinned briefly. He knew exactly who the saleswoman was talking about. After all, they had learned of Bhaal's daughter's past and how she had been involved in the Grand Design.
“I have new business partners, so I don’t need loud attention, after all, hell operates quietly.”
“We don’t want to cause any problems, I swear!”
The vampire let his eyes wander over the lavish and devilishly mysterious display while Aristen soothed Helsik.
“We just want to buy an artifact or information. Nothing improper, nothing complicated, nothing dangerous. Just good old Mammon.”
“Child, you will never have as much gold as I want from you so that I can burn my fingers again because of you.”
"Are you sure? I'll pay any price...whether it's gold or otherwise. We're just looking for a way to break the vampire curse of being vulnerable to the sun. Please."
Helsik laughed briefly, compassionately, not maliciously: “Deary, at the Devil’s Fee we don’t break curses, it’s more about the other way. That should be clear to you from the name.”
“My Love…” Astarion slowly tore his eyes away from the display cases and stood next to Aristen again, “…let me talk to her. I think I can convince them better with less…emotional involvement based on old stories.”
“Are you sure?” Aristen asked, unconvinced.
“Of course, baby…” he was already pushed the Sorceress toward the exit, “…you go do the other errands in the meantime and leave this to me.”
Aristen left the devilish business and made her way to the large square of the lower city wall. She visited the arms dealers and her thoughts continued to dwell on the fact that if even devils couldn't find a way to free Astarion from his curse, who would?
She would never give up hope. Anyway, Helsik was probably right: if it was about help, then hell wouldn't be a good negotiating partner.
Maybe they should trust in nature, magic and clerics. The gods may not have heard Astarion then, but perhaps they could now request divine intervention?
The vampire could walk in the light of the Moon Maiden, perhaps Dame Aylin and Shadowheart could ask even more of Sêlune. Maybe she could expand her moonlight.
Perhaps…
“STOP IMMEDIATELY!”
Aristen was snapped out of her thoughts and the blacksmith who was stationed across from Sorcerous Sundries just handed her back Astarion's freshly sharpened dagger.
“COME BACK IMMEDIATELY!”
From the direction of the Devil's fee came rumbling, loud voices and, above all, lightning and sparks.
“Stop the criminal scum!” shouted a city guard. “Subject, let him stand still!”
“Where for?”
“That way!”
“Or rather there?”
“I thought I saw something in that direction…”
“Then I here, you there,” the steel armored guards rumbled.
The clatter of steel armor slowly faded from the blonde Sorceress's ears, but a perfume that differed from her own scent of orchid and rose reached her nose.
Aristen smelled cherries, musk, palmarosa, black pepper and…
“Does this belong to you, little mouse?”
…sulfur.
Raphael's slightly tanned complexion stood before her. His brown hair was done to perfection with meticulous work, as were his clothes. Large, sparkling brown eyes regarded her, both sublime and mischievous.
The devil in human disguise had the white-haired vampire in tow, holding him by the collar like a naughty schoolboy.
"Raphael..."
“So you still know my name. Ah…very good. Tell the wizard of yours that too. Hopefully he’s still looking for my crown?”
Aristen nodded: “We defeat the brain. The crown will then be at your disposal. That’s how it was settled.”
“Excuse me…” the vampire groused
The devil released Astarion, who grumbled and moved his shoulders.
“Stealing from a shop that has connections straight to hell, very very naughty.”
As was his style, Raphael moved his hands theatrically while his voice whispered mellifluously. The reprimand was more than just played as amusing.
“Anyway, you were there in vain. There is nothing to buy there that could solve the vampire's little “problem”. Otherwise they would all be walking around here freely in the sunlight. Or not?”
The devil made a sweeping gesture and looked around ostentatiously before laughing.
“I'll talk to Helsik and smooth things over, after all you don't sleep well in unmade beds like in clover. But tell your wizard that it is my crown. When he finds it, he has agreed to hand it over to me immediately. Not to Mystra and he certainly shouldn’t get the foolish idea of ​​using it himself.”
“He is not my wizard,” Aristen clarified briefly, “Gale belongs to no one but himself. Mystra also has nothing to command him.”
“Does he see it that way too? Or does he like to be walked on a leash? He always just does what others tell him. After all, his own decisions are the stupidest I've ever seen...and I've literally seen it all."
“You mean as stupid as wanting to rule the crown of Karsus?”
“Haha…careful, little mouse,” laughed Raphael. “Just make sure I get the crown as quickly as possible.”
“When Gale finds it, you get the crown. That was the deal. We stick to that. But you'll have to be patient. It wasn't intended that the crown and the stones would be lost again, but it was hard to prevent it when the Netherbrain fell into the sea during the fight."
“I'm surprised you're so relaxed about this. You can't put me on a leash as easily as you can put the vampire spawn on a leash. Or was it rather the other way around and you Astarion put the former Bhaalspawn on a docile short leash?”
Mischief sparkled in the brown eyes of the human-shaped Cambion. There was a subtle, biting, malicious provocation in his words, which he spoke with a sonorous purr, as always.
Astarion's face contorted a little and the vampire barely suppressed a roll of his ruby-colored eyes. For a moment he seemed like a disgruntled cat.
"I think I liked you better when you just rhymed all the time," Astarion replied sassy.
Raphael laughed briefly, unimpressed: “Whatever. Less dawdling and making long fingers, but more diving for the crown,” reprimanded the devil with a raised eyebrow.
The devil wrinkled his nose slightly at the vampire spawn before turning back to Aristen and giving her his full attention.
“By the way, greetings from your fiery friend Karlach and her rapier-wielding colleague Wyll Ravengard.”
“Why are you ordering greetings from Karlach and Wyll? Have you met them?”
“Well, those two made themselves quite a name all around Avernus,” Raphael smiled in his smug way, “furthermore, I greatly welcome their actions against Zariel’s forces.”
He made one of his swinging hand movements with his manicured fingers: “I would like to invite you all to my House of Hope to linger, relax and chat. So you can catch up. You know, the Crown of Karsus is the key that grants you access. And until that happens…fare thee well, little mouse. I hope I will see you soon, knocking on the door of my house.”
As was his style, Raphael bowed expansively and his scent of leather, cedar, lily, rose, oud, vanilla and sandalwood disappeared into a swirl of sparks and sulphur.
“He hasn’t forgotten his flair for great performances. I don't know whether I should admire it or whether he's starting to get on my nerves with it," Astarion sighed briefly before straightening his shoulders and straightening his doublet with a quick tug.
"Anyways..." the vampire turned to another topic, "...I think it would be a good idea if we get out of the immediate area while the city guards are wandering around here."
The elf touched Aristen's elbow to encourage her to leave.
“What did you want to take from the store anyway, in the first place?” Aristen wanted to know from Astarion, curious and skeptical.
“Well…” he started to press and scratched the back of his white curls, “…I saw something…”
"And what was so terribly interesting that you would risk to be arrested by the Flaming Fist?"
“Well...it reminded me of you...and...I thought you should have it. But Helsik is really a cutthroat bitch with exorbitant prices.”
Aristen smiled good-naturedly: “Oh Astarion…”
“However…here…”
The vampire held out a white silk scarf to the storm sorceress.
Aristen's eyes widened. You could see from the shimmer and the way the fabric fell that it wasn't just silk that was woven there. It was definitely the weave itself and more that was at work there. Depending on how it fell and how you moved it, a golden blue shimmered.
“The scarf reminded me of the one you told me about. You know, the scarf with your name on it that you were found wearing as a baby in the Bhaal Temple. It’s one of the few memories you have left.”
The vampire took out a borealis blue thread from his pocket and began to embroider “Aristen” into the scarf.
“I wanted you to have something that you could never lose, that could never be destroyed, that had your name on it. Because if something ever happened again that made you forget...that made you forget yourself, at least you would always have your name with you. Then you know that you are Aristen. Not the daughter of the murder god. Not the chosen one of Bhaal. No Bhaalspawn. Just you. You are Aristen.”
The vampire began to embroider an “&” sign into the scarf.
“And well…” Astarion began to shuffle uncomfortably again and focused entirely on his work so that he didn’t have to look his lover in the eyes, “…if you ever forget something again, then you’ll know that we belong together. I don't want you to ever forget me. And so you also always carry my name with you.”
The vampire finished his work and the white scarf now embroidered with new memories read: "Aristen & Astarion"
“There is nothing in the world that would ever make me forget you, Astarion,” the high elf spoke softly.
She closed the distance between the two of them and kissed Astarion. The elf slowly closed his eyes as their lips met. His cool, hers warm. He felt her breathing life into him as they kissed.
"Thank you so much," the blonde said after they pulled away from each other, "you can't imagine how much this means to me. I love you, Astarion."
Aristen held the silky, white and blue scarf in her hands, stroked the pale elf's blue embroidery and smiled. "I think this used to be the color of your eyes too."
She smiled softly, as soft as the silky fabric of the scarf felt on her soft hands. Hands too soft for the crimes they had probably committed earlier in the name of Bhaal. In a previous life.
Aristen raised her eyes, which were also blue, and caught Astarion by surprise. Speechless.
That rarely happened.
Very rarely did the vampire find himself without words.
“Ah, I…” he took a breath to say something, but he lacked a suitable response, so he could only hold his breath, taken aback.
The gentle look in his lover's eyes and her words had triggered something in Astarion that he still couldn't handle: affection, sincere love.
Towards him and in his own heart.
The white-haired vampire exhaled and smiled just as gently at his beloved Aristen.
He reached out his cool hand to her and placed it against her rosy cheek. The blonde nestled herself a little in the vampire's hand and her gaze lingered lovingly in Astarion's now ruby-colored eyes.
“You never stop surprising me,” his whispering voice sounded sincere and just as genuine was the smile he continued to give her.
It was a smile that acknowledged how happy he was, partly surprised, partly just realizing that he wasn't really surprised anymore. And perhaps that was what surprised Astarion the most.
It was a day like any other.
A day like any other.
One day in the rest of their life.
Their life together.
And it was beautiful.
And he would never want it any other way.
📜🪶📜🪶💙🎻🫧🌹🌸🌹🫧🎻💙🪶📜🪶📜
➹a/n: i just gave my own Tav Saulus a little cameo guest appearance  😉 in the style of AU I also inserted aristenfromwarsaws other OC Devana, like a little, what are all the other tavs doing when not being the main character
the great Tavs of my lovely mutuals also did a tiny cameo:
Nala Hartwick of @evander-jane
Thomas Rosewood and Nana of @alpydk
Lovely Vierith of @goromimii jamming with my Saulus, best bardic duo
Mavka of @pinkberrytea
I hope I did the slice of life good justice and you all could taste, feel, smell, hear the life through all the description of scents, etc.
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six-white-venus · 1 year ago
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the worst trait of me and my family is probably this: we never learned to say the word sorry.
i) my best friend and i, we are no people. knives? maybe. liars? definitely. but people? i’m not so sure.
knives were never forged to be tender (what a shame, what a shame) and we too, fall and slay what we meant to protect. him and i, we go for the throat when we clash. we hurt and bleed and oh, i should be terrified, i should be running for my life, but all i am is tired and a bit lonely and would really like his arms around me.
( “can we please stop fighting now.”
“oh god yes please.”)
because time and time again, this man has held my heart in his hands and cleaned its festering wounds with cotton dipped in alcohol (always the healer, always the lover) and wrapped gauze around them with clinical precision. and i have walked through the maze of his head and tended to his withering garden, have dragged the sun and fresh air and all the oceans to the barren land to make it bloom (always the poet, always the lover).
him and i, we have never needed words because we are knives forged in the same fire and at the end of the day, we both know that he will be the one who wordlessly stitches my broken heart and i will be the one who sings him to sleep.
ii) let me paint you a picture:
blue that fades into red that fades into black that fades into blue that fades into red. loud, clashing and nonsensical. a pit in your stomach that was dug with desperation and blunt fingernails. how do you colour anger that is also pain, grief, hate, love, fear and truth? the smell of the paint is foul and clogs your windpipes. blunt fingernails and blue and black and madness. can you bear to look at what you created without flinching?
that’s what anger looks like on my father. a horror. a mottled bruise. a hellfire.
all his life, my father has been scorned, belittled, beaten, spat on. his mother didn’t love him right because her mother didn’t love her right. my dad loves like he hates. something is fucked in his head and heart and his words fade into black and blue and red and this shitshow always ends with me sobbing, bleeding, dying on the floor. my father watches with his hackles raised and his eyes red and wide and glowing. once wounded, an animal never sheathes its claws. it strikes the ones it loves and walks away with its head held high and hands trembling.
but here’s what happens when the curtains close: he pulls me into his arms and brings me tea. he wipes away my tears with hands that has moved mountains to make me smile. he kisses my forehead and tells me that his mom didn’t love him right. my grief is like anger and indignation and love. i wrap my arms around him and cry all the tears he never had the luxury to. who should say sorry, really? is it him or his mom or his mom’s mom or this stupid fucking world? my father has never said the word sorry. he never needed to. this is what love looks like on us. a horror. a mottled bruise. a hellfire.
iii) despite it all, i am not usually an angry person. i take after my father and my mother, after all. i rage like my mother (quick, loud, fire that burns out almost as quickly as it sparked to life) and fight like my father (aim, shoot, bullseye). my sister does something even mildly upsetting and before i know it, i’m cursing her to be miserable till she dies. not even an hour later i’m draping myself over her shoulder and bugging her till she rolls her eyes and smiles ever so slightly.
(“do you have no shame?”
“yeah no i don’t think so.”)
my family and i, we never learned to say the word sorry. because the word sorry never meant sorry, not to us. because at the end of the day, that’s all it is: a word. and it sticks to the back of my tongue and the dents of my molars and gets tangled in my mouth when i try to spit it out. so i grab it by its throat and thread it into my being. i find it so much easier to hide my pathetic inability to do one thing that doesn’t scream that there's something wrong with me with the truth of another three words:
“i love you”
and they are always echoed back to me, just a few million times more tender, in ways only we can understand.
“yeah, i know.”
“that’s great, but there’s no escaping dishes duty.”
“oh, shut up, you.”
“what’s that for?”
a pause and a hum.
“i love you too.”
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s0fter-sin · 6 months ago
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watching the valeria interrogation again and when alejandro says, “you disgrace the army”, rudy steps forward but when alejandro looks over his shoulder at him and says, “and your brothers, no?” he steps back again, almost like he’s trying to pull himself out of the conversation
alejandro leans in close to her and rudy reacts like he wants to pull him away, to protect him from her and from her words, but when he brings up that valeria hurt him too, betrayed him too, rudy retreats like he doesn't want to be reminded of it
it's alejandro who keeps valeria talking about the past, who prompts her to say more when simply saying she's ex-military would've been enough. they bait each other, valeria far more successfully than alejandro; she’s essentially running the interrogation
this speaks volumes of rudy’s interjection of, “he (the son of la areña) was supposed to go to prison”. he’s getting short; cutting off valeria and her excuses, not to redirect them back to the point of the interrogation but bc he’s done with her. rudy’s terser with her, more obviously angry, than he is with an actual terrorist
alejandro can't get past their history; let's himself get pulled off track and compromised but not be he's more upset than rudy. rudy has just repressed the hell out of it; if he doesn't think about it then it didn't happen
but now, he's suddenly being confronted with it head on
"you disgrace the army," is generalised; valeria didn't just hurt rudy, she hurt all of them. it's easier to take
"and your brothers," calls rudy out directly for his pain; pain alejandro wants retribution for and he doesn't want to face it, doesn't want to admit to it bc he doesn’t want to have to feel it
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edwardseymour · 2 months ago
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good for her.
#i still think that was such a weird and nasty grievance that worsley had with the casting lol#and so unkind to single kate out when she was at the time fresh out of acting school and this was her first big role#and suddenly she was included in headlines about this incredibly famous/successful book's adaptation#with her appearance being scrutinised with the implication she was miscast according to a historian/expert#it's good that kate says she feels it didn't impact her performance. but she should not have to give a statement like that.#did nobody think it weird that kate had to dedicate a portion of her time in this interview to giving lucy worsley a pass?#i wonder how the actress who played jane in worsley's documentary felt...#wolf hall#and. well. it must be said: if the daily mail & the times published stories about ab’s inherent ugliness#citing her ‘bulbous forehead’ etc.#well… i have to wonder what the reaction would have been from the same crowd who insist we should ‘be honest’ and accept jane was ugly#and accept this kind of language — and how INGRAINED it is — as normal and healthy#well i think it’s dishonest (i think jane looks lovely in her portrait) and i think this fandom has an unhealthy relationship with beauty#and i can only assume that that's the message we are intended to take away from this headline: that jane's ugliness is important abt her#maybe she was. i don't really care.#but i'm not sure why lucy (& journalists) are clinging SOOO tightly to the idea that she was a 'plain jane' archetype…#('mortified' oh my god... kate is a better woman than me)#it just continues to reduce jane down to a nonperson... rendering her merely an amalgamation of hollow tropes.#people aren't actually 'plain jane's in real life.
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