#what can i say im drawn to attractive women

[veilofaponia]

favorite honkai: star rail characters? <3

my number 1 will probably forever be blade,, hes been my fav since i started playing and i remember being absolutely obsessed with his lore. silverwolf is a pretty close second, shes grown on me a lot more than i thought she would. other characters i really realy like are acheron, jingliu, jingyuan, yukong, kafka and aventurine

theres also a lot of characters who i really like but just cannot be bothered to fully read and understand their lore so it almost feels like i have a pretty weak grasp on what their character really is,,,, still love them tho

[thetorturedbuckydepartment]

chapter one: the briefing

pairing: Bucky barnes x plus-sized!SHIElD!reader

masterlist

summary: being a SHIELD agent, you have a knack for analysing people, particularly when it comes to attraction. you have everyone figured out, sorted away into the boxes you've created. But there's one man you can never seem to figure out, the very bane of your existence -- Bucky Barnes. On the field, he is a saint, helping you dodge bullets and taking knife wounds in your name. Around the building? Public menace number one, always poised to insult or to spar with you.

After being sent on a 6-month-long torture-cum-vacation with the very man, could all this change? Could you finally figure out what has been bubbling beneath the surface for years between the two of you, the juggernaut that you know you cannot stop?

warnings: mentions of sex, mentions of murder, dead parents, scars, trauma, implied slutshaming, mentions of guns and shooting and bombs, mentions of wanting to die, dark content, reader is implied to be bisexual (I cannot fathom not being attracted to women SORRY NOT SORRY), reader is implicitly stated to be NOT A MAN

word count: 3.4k

A/N: omg it's here! had so much fun writing this, hope you all enjoy it too! im still working out a schedule for this, as ive currently written 3 chapters and am already at about 10k words! and im currently very inspired for my own, non-fanfic WIP, so im split! hope you enjoy, and as always, let me know if you liked it! comments and reblogs are much appreciated <3

Human attraction can be sorted into three little boxes: Sexual, romantic, platonic. It is somewhat of a threeway Venn diagram, and people find themselves travelling in between the perfectly drawn circles all the time. It is a marvel to some, to be able to gauge the section in which one stands with a simple glance. It’s a gift, you’ve found, having the knack to discern between the three attractions. Which means you’ve cracked the code on people, and know exactly how to assess and engage accordingly. 

It’s how you find yourself in such a predicament as the following, quite often:

“You’re Butterscotch, aren’t you?” The voice is meek, quiet, and comes from directly behind you. You’ve just put down the weights at the gym, and have paused to take a drink from your water bottle, when you turn to assess the situation. 

Long brown hair, blue eyes. Gorgeously shy smile as she tucks a strand behind her ear. Your whole body moves, reacting to the incarnation of Aphrodite herself in front of you. You suppose you’ve always seen women that way, to be wholly more beautiful on average compared to men. It’s how you often find yourself in bed with a woman not unlike the one before you. 

She stands, slyly pushing her breasts together and leaning into you, whether it be subconscious or not, batting her long eyelashes.  Sexual attraction, then. You smile, deciding to play it cool, taking another long sip of water, silently reveling in the way her eyes stick on your wet lips. 

“Yeah, that’s me. And you, you’re Hazel, aren’t you?” You tip your head to one side in faux innocence, honing you eyes in on her in a way you know sends shivers down her spine, completely hypnotised by the way you silently call to her. She nods, surprised that you’ve remembered her from her initiation training 6 months ago. She was one of the older recruits, only two or three years younger than you, but valuable just the same.

“I’ve been following your career for a while now, and I must say I really look up to you.” Her lips twist into a grin, showing off her perfect teeth. Your own face darkens as you inject lust into it, and you watch as she tries to discreetly squeeze her thighs together. She’ll be eating right out of your hand in no time.

If she’d come to you 13 years ago, when you were just starting out, you would’ve wanted to tell her that all you are interested in is a promise of casualty. Nothing more, and certainly nothing less, but the absence of such a discussion did land you in hot water all that time ago. Now, your reputation precedes you, and you doubt there is a single soul in this building who doesn’t know your one-and-done policy. Of course, some of the agents surprise you and you have them on a staggered rotation, a new criteria you’ve introduced into your sex life once the gap between you and fresh faces widened to an immoral degree.

You open your mouth to give her a reply that will make her leave here with sticky thighs, when the most agitating, grating voice you’ve been almost tortured with for the past eight years echoes across the gym, calling to you.

“Let’s go Butterface, Fury had a brief for us twenty minutes ago. You can fuck around later.” You roll your eyes at the words of none other than James Buchanan Barnes, huffing out a breath. He’s done this to embarrass you, for sure, because you know for a fact that Fury’s briefing for the next mission is actually in ten minutes from right now. But you know if you showed up on time, he gets the upper hand for coming in earlier.

That’s the other reason you’re so famous around the building — your long-term feud with Bucky. Whenever the two of you end up in a meeting room, there are more insults hurled around than facts. You two love to spar together, finding any excuse to leave bruises on the other’s body. But the most damning thing? There is no better team than the both of you out on the field, your missions always resulting in the lowest casualties and highest success rates SHIELD has ever seen. It’s an eternal mystery, but to the two of you, it is clear enough. You are enemies, holding the dagger of sharp-edged insults to each other’s throats, but on a mission? It must all be put aside for the greater good, for the safety of others. The remarks are snarky but non-distracting, and you’ve jumped in front of a bullet for him more times than you would like to admit. But it doesn’t matter, because he has endured several injuries for you in turn as well. 

You redirect your attention back to your self-sacrificial prey for tonight. “Well, if you need me, I’ll be available at my room on floor 13 at around ten.” You lean in to whisper into her ear, and drag a less-than-innocent finger down the side of her neck. “I can give you a few more ways to look up to me, if you’d like.” The lower octave does something to her, and you watch her eyes flutter shut as she realises you’ve gladly accepted the silent offer she was handing you on a silver platter. 

You chuckle, at how easy it all is. And then spin on your heel, marching back to begrudgingly follow behind the tall brunette who seems to have a permanent scowl on his face whenever he’s in the same room as you. 

He leans back against the cool metal of the elevator that will send the both of you to the top, arms crossed across his broad chest. If you didn’t hate his guts, you’d absolutely suck him dry, right here right now. It’s no surprise that he is the most beautiful man in the building, but his attitude and mannerisms have long turned you off from him.

You poke the bear.

“What happened, Barnes? You mad nobody’ll fuck you?” He turns to you then, blue eyes blazing. And it only makes your shit-eating grin widen.

“Why would I ever be mad at that? I’m mad because we have to go on a mission, and when I come to get you, you’re busy planning on how to… spend your night. Again. At this point, if they’ve got a pulse they probably meet your standards, don’t they?” He smiles cruelly, and you don’t miss the implications. But you don’t care. If you were a man, they’d be singing your praises in the streets. So why is it different now?

“If they have a pulse? Well, if that were the case, then you…” You let your eyes wander up and down, and you notice his hard shell cracking when you meet his eyes again. You smile widens and you feign a blush, and he begins to smile, thinking he’s got you. And then you throw a grenade into whatever fantasy he’s spinning in his head. “Would be dead.” Your voice has never been more cold, observing the way his shoulders slouch in something akin to disappointment.

This is his kryptonite that you love exploiting, so much. The man is wickedly attracted to you, and is equally as horrid at hiding it. You have no idea what kind, though. Which box he fits into. You’re certain it’s not platonic given the way he talks to you. The longing glances and delicate touches after missions where you end up injured had turned you towards romantic, but you know there is no denying the way his eyes drift to your cleavage when you spar, or the way his hands immediately find your hips when you best him in the ring and end up straddling him. There is no box you can put him in, and it drives you up the damn wall.

You briefly wonder what the two of you would be doing in this elevator right now if you were as attracted to him and either of you had made it known. 

The elevator pings and the both of you break the burning, seething eye contact as you file into Meeting Room 17B.

“Right, before Barnes’ dick explodes at the thought of me fucking a woman, what’s the mission chief.” Barnes has the nerve to blush, sitting in the chair opposite yours, both facing the head of the table with a monitor where Fury and Stark both stand.

“Did your mother never teach you the difference between professional and casual?” He fires back, and you grin sadistically, crossing your arms over your chest and leaning back.

“She’s dead, Barnes. Have some decorum, and maybe a modicum of respect?” His face falls, knowing he’s crossed a line, but if God Himself came down and told Bucky to apologise, he’d shake hands with the Devil. “What about your father then?” He is frantically searching you for any sign of hurt or discomfort that he can exploit, you can tell by the way his eyes stick to your every feature.

“Hard to when you’re in prison for murdering your wife and attempting to murder your child.” You turn to Stark, knowing you’ve rendered him absolutely speechless. Out of the corner of your eye, you see his mouth close and open like a fish, gasping for some air. Pathetic, really, but well-deserved. In all these years, you’re surprised it took him this long to blame your upbringing, often opting to attack you as a person directly. But you finally got to play the cards you’ve kept close to your chest, a sick and twisted punishment. That means that you win, today.

“Thats 236 for Butterscotch, and Barnes is still on 220,” Tony mutters, and you can’t hide your competitive side that comes out.

You turn to him, tutting. “Keep up, Barnes. I thought you were better competition than this. Pathetic.” You’re shaking your head in mock disappointment. A blood-tinged vignette passes around in the back of your mind, but you try your best to not let it show.

The arguments between you and Bucky as so well-known to get out of hand, the Avengers started keeping score, refreshing each year, of who won the argument. This is strictly judged based on how the final retort leaves the other unable to think of a comeback. You’ve bested him 236 times already, and it’s only February.

“You didn’t tell me about your parents,” he grumbles, cheeks pink in humiliation. Why is he backing down so easily today?

“I don’t owe you shit, Barnes. Especially not about my life before I got here. Sorry, Fury, should we start the briefing?” You divert the attention back to the matter at hand, feeling like maybe you went a tiny bit too far by calling him pathetic to his face. 

Since when have you ever nurtured a soft spot for him? Well, you are certainly not going to be starting today.

With both of your mouths shut and eyes attentive, Fury begins to speak.

“We need the two of you to go undercover. We have intel that Senator Parker may be dealing with copious amounts of methamphetamines, involving using his house as a lab and distribution centre. He often targets teens of ethnic backgrounds to carry the drugs and deal them in exchange for cuts — he chooses them this way so they would almost immediately go to prison, and nobody would be let off scot-free to rat him out.” Tony flashes up several holograms of the Senator, the teens caught pressing white packets into palms, and even those who ended up behind bars, and have continued to distribute the drugs from within.

“So…why do we need to go undercover?” You ask, leaning forward in your seat so you could see the graphics better.

“Well…here is Parker’s dating history…” Why does Tony sound so reluctant as he pulls up the dating history? Why is that relevant? These are just some of the questions that swirl around your mind, and are evident in your scrunched up face.

Bucky is watching you, quietly. Observing your features, observing you. He can’t help it — the grace with which you walk, the crudeness with which you speak…it’s entrancing. And you know it. He hates it. 

Then, slowly, the pictures begin to appear — there are 17 women. Every single one of them looks like you — the same colour hair, the same colour eyes. Similar face shapes and similar body types. It’s like there’s 18 of you in the room.

“I’m a honeytrap?”

Fury is quick to speak, to protest the misunderstanding that the mission is an objectification of you. “No….well yes. We have carefully constructed a plan that essentially is built on the fact that you happen to be—“

“Exactly his type?” Bucky asks, feeling shame crawl up his spine at the realisation that he has something in common with a drug lord. You look at him as he speaks, and feel more and more confused by the second.

“Yes.” Tony continues. “We’ve planned to plant you in the same cul-de-sac that Parker’s house resides on, and Butterscotch can use the fact that she’s his type to sway him, win his trust. You’ll have to play the long game with him, he’s known to barely let anyone in his house unless he wants to fuck them.”

You feel a sickness coat your stomach. “Will I have to fuck him? Because I’d rather shoot Barnes and then myself and blow up this building.” You chew your lip nervously, all the confidence can your body momentarily evaporating. The old man might just be one of the worst people you’ve ever heard of when it comes to drug trafficking. Not to mention any sexual gratification is just you stepping into a stereotype of what he wants, that you are just another woman with the similar face that he wants to put his dick in. It makes your skin crawl, and you run your fingernails harshly along your forearm.

“No.” To your surprise, it’s Bucky who speaks up. He meets your eyes for a brief moment, before turning to Fury and Tony. “No, right? She clearly doesn’t want to, don’t tell me you’re gonna make her.” He sounds oddly protective over you here, which he has no right to be. But you can’t fight him, not over this.

“No, no, of course not. You won’t have to do anything you don’t want to. At most you’ll have to flirt with him, make him think he’s going to….y’know, with you. And use that advantage to sneak into his house. You won’t have to do anything you don’t want to, Butterscotch. You know we’d never do that to you, that it’s against our ethics and values.” You nod, relaxing in your seat while Bucky stares at the red, raw skin of your forearm. He wants to soothe it, he wants to soothe you—

“And if I’m going, obviously you’re gonna send the Sergeant with me, aren’t you?” They nod in unison. You take a deep breath, knowing you have to take it. There will be no mission more satisfying. And Bucky is much more bearable when the both of you have a common goal.

“So what exactly is our cover?” Bucky perks up. The both of you wear the suit of civility so quickly when you have to do your jobs. 

Fury scratches his neck, exchanging a nervous glance with Tony. You anticipate the answer, knowing it will not be to your liking.

“We’ve planned to plant you in the Acorn suburb in Claremont, just across the street from Parker’s residence, for around six months. It’s a nice, quaint little city, I think the both of you would like it. It’s a lot more green, and less noisy and polluted than New York—.”

“Tony,” you warn, glaring at him. He is omitting the information. Why?

“Fine! The suburbs are conservative as shit, so you’re going as husband and wife!” Your eyes widen, and you swear you lose hearing for a second as the world goes in and out of focus. You have to pretend to be married. Pretending to be in love, you could do — in fact, you could probably pass off most intel exchanges with him as lovers’ private conversations if you smile and laugh on the right cues.

But marriage? The sanctity of which has been so thoroughly, irrevocably spoiled for you? The very reason you have only ever wanted casual in your entire life, as opposed to commitment? You can’t breathe.

You try to hide your shaky hands as you reach for the glass of water, downing it and gasping for breath. All that runs through your mind is the only instance of a married man you’ve ever known, and how it ended. How you ended, body mutilated in enough scars to rival Bucky’s left shoulder, crying out for a bloodied corpse in the back of an ambulance while the paramedics did their best to save you. How you wish they would’ve failed sometimes. 

It’s too much.

“I need time to think.” You all but run out of the door, and you think the chair falls with the force of your escape, but your heart is beating too fast for you to be certain. Sweat that had dried reappears at your hairline, beading and dripping down your face. You sit on the floor, clutching at your chest as you’re bombarded by the most horrifying images that not even the strongest of sleeping pills can shake. Your eyes squeeze shut and someone is calling your name. Not Butterscotch, but the name that heinous monster chose for you when you were still in your mother’s womb.

But even that turns out to be a hallucination, your head in your hands as you hear a familiar voice call to you.

“Butterface…is the idea of being married to me that bad?” You freeze. Bucky is here, why is Bucky here? You look up to be met with him crouching by your side, Tony on the other with a hand on your shoulder, and Fury standing tall. There is not a single hint of disappointment on his face, and you’re glad.

You turn to Tony. “You know…you know what…I can’t. You know why….Tony…” His face morphs into one of intense melancholia, pulling you into him. Ever since you started working more closely together with Bucky, he’s become something of a big brother to you — overly protective and affectionately annoying.

“I know, kid. You know what? Screw this, I’ll find some other agent who looks close to you to take over with Barnes.” His voice finally calms you down, and you take in deep breaths.

You can’t win them all. You’ll have to make some sacrifices. You pull away from Tony’s arms, not even daring to glance at Bucky. He doesn’t need to see what you look like when you’re vulnerable, because you know he will do everything in his power to bring you to such a state once again, just to hurt you.

You take several deep breaths.

“No. You and Fury have said it yourself, so many times. Nobody works better with James than I do, at least not in the field. My burning hatred for him is completely personal. I— I can do it. It’s just…I probably would’ve been fine but it got brought up and it was all I could really think about and then…it just sent me over the edge. But if Barnes promises to not be as big of an asshole as he usually is, I can make it work.” You don’t even risk a glance at him.

“I won’t be. I’ll behave. Plus, you are a lot more tolerable out on the field, so it shouldn’t be so hard. Promise, it’ll all be okay.” His tone sounds so…sincere? What on earth is up with him today? You spare him a glance, and his eyes shine brilliantly blue. And you believe him.

Bucky Barnes may be an asshole, but he would never lie to you. Especially when it concerns a mission, where miscommunications and secrets have consequences for people outside the both of you. He has at least this sense of loyalty about him.

“Alright. Guess I better get packing for Claremont, then.” 

NEXT PART

[klausysworld]

Can you make a smut like just pure smut klaus x reader (preferably black/mixed reader)reader is hope Mikealson’s best friend and reader is finally meeting hopes family and she is all hot and bothered by klaus and klaus can tell

“Hii how are you could you maybe make a smut klaus x fem reader hopes best friend (reader)finally meet hope’s family and reader is drawn to klaus and can’t take her eyes off of him and he notices and something happens between them :)”

this was also requested and i wasn’t sure if you could respond to two at once??

Hope and i had been best friends for a while now and i was so nervous about meeting her family. I’ve seen pictures and been told all about them so hopefully everything will be fine but i sort of already have crush on her dad even though i haven’t actually met him?

Hope knows i find him attractive and always makes jokes about it, thankfully she finds it funny instead of making it weird

“i know they’re all gonna love you! You, y/n y/l/n, are gonna become an honorary Mikaelson… or maybe an actual Mikaelson if you marry my dad… will that make me your daughter? should i start calling you Mommy?” i shoved her as we laughed and got out of her car to start walking to to her house, i ended up chasing her most of the way to the door as she fake screamed and ran

“i call maid of honour!” she called as we got to the entrance

“who’s getting married?” was said from behind me making me jump forward towards Hope, she had a big smile on her face as she grabbed my arm

“Dad!! this is y/n remember i told you all about her!?” my face heated up as i ran a hand down my face and glanced at Klaus who looked somehow even better in person than in the photos

“oh god what did you say?” i mumbled shaking my head and both she and her father laughed

“nothing bad love, in fact she said many wonderful things, you enjoy art?” i side eyed a very smiley Hope who was practically buzzing

“she does, she paints too, she’s really good, i think you should show her your art room cuz i know for a fact that she would just looove it, i showed her some of your pieces and her mouth was hanging open like a fish she looked adorable” she rambled but i don’t think Klaus was listening much, he was looking straight into my eyes as his pupil dilated as he licked his bottom lip and hummed

“well them we’ll take her up yes?” he cut hopes rant off and she nodded excitedly

“sure well im gonna see aunt Bex so if you take her to see that- the art! i’ll see you both in a moment” she literally slid out of the room as she slipped and skidded round the corner

“you don’t have to, i think Hopes in a…funny mood” i explained and began walking after her but his large hand took ahold of mine and he spun me back to his chest

“we should go see the art, if she thinks we should see the art then it’s what we should do” i whispered an “okay” in response and he led me up the stairs.

He showed me many paintings and sketches letting me touch the different textures and flip through his books. All the way through he kept a hand on my waist, his face was practically sat in the crook of my neck and he whispered stories of why painted different things. One sketch book had paintings of naked women, or hands touching intimate parts of someone, i felt my panties dampen at the thought of him painting my body, his hands cupping my breasts. He inhaled deeply through his nose and let out a little grunt

“which is your favourite?” he muttered as he bushed himself against me letting me feel his hard on against my ass

“probably that one…” i said quietly pointing to the painting of the women lead on the bed with her back arched and her head thrown back

“mm that was actually a very interesting person, she had very lovely hands you see?” he moved my hand to where hers were, she was squeezing her own breasts, i realised that was the main focus of his drawing, her hands

“you’re very talented Mr Mikaelson” he smirked and rubbed my hip with his thumb

“1000 years of practice can do that, perhaps…you’ll let me do you?” i gulped and slowly turned around so our chests were touching, i was breathing pretty heavily and could feel my breasts brushed against him, i locked eyes with his sapphire ones as i tilted my head up. He leaned down and gently pressed his lips to mine which i immediately reciprocated, they were plump and soft making me push my tongue through them and taste his. He tasted rich and intoxicating making me moan into his mouth and moved my hands to hold the back of his head while his held onto my waist pulling me tightly against him. He moved a hand down and lightly squeezed my ass under my skirt. He pushed his leg in between my thighs and moved me along his jeans, the fabric quickly darkened with my wetness as it went through my underwear onto him. I panted when he moved his mouth down to suck along my jaw and then down and back up my neck finding my sweet spot just below my ear and paying it extra attention. I moaned again louder and i began grinding against him harder. He brought his hands down to lift me up by my thighs, i wrapped my legs around him as he connected our mouths again.

Our tongues entwined and the sound of pages scattering the floor filled the room, i was put into the now empty table, i was pushed flat on my back and my legs were pulled to the edge

“you look so bloody beautiful spread our like this, suck a lovely dress” he told me and kissed down my neck to my cleavage, he ran his tongue along the swell of my breasts. I arched my back and moved my hands up to undo some of the buttons going down so he had better access to them. Klaus gently cupped them both and then attached his lips to my left one making me gasp. He tugged on it and swirled his tongue around it before giving the same affection to the other one. He undid the rest of the buttons and pushed it off my arms leaving me completely bare for him.

Nervousness flooded through me and i brought my knees up to my chest so i was covered

“i want to see you y/n, all of you” he whispered and pulled my knees apart to look at my most private area. The vulnerability of being so open for him while he was still fully clothed had me avoiding any eye contact as he studied me.

“you are magnificent you know that? absolutely divine” he announced moved so he was off the table and pulling me to the edge, he went down onto his knees and held my legs open

“do you want this, love?” he whispered locking eyes with me

“i- i do” he smirked in response and his tongue darted out. His hot tongue kitten licked at my clit, my hands flew to his hair and pulled him towards me breathing out his name as though it were a prayer

“lay back love” he instructed before his actions became more. He was now sucking harshly at my clit and his tongue teased my entrance making me gasp a moan. I opened my legs as wide as they would go when his skilful tongue entered me, he expertly plunged it within me and i called out for him desperately. The dreams i had were no where near as brilliant as the real thing. I could feel myself fluttering around his tongue, his thumb went to my clit and drew figures of eight upon it, he gradually got faster and i pulled at his sandy locks. The burning sensation pulsed through me, my nails scratched his scalp, his groan adding to the pure pleasure coursing inside while my toes curled and i came into his mouth. His thumb slowed and gently tapped my clit as he licked up every last drop that escaped me.

“You taste fantastic y/n” he whispered and kissed me again letting me see how sweet i was in his mouth.

“can you take your clothes off now” i asked shyly still playing with his curls. He smirked and kissed my lips again

“i suppose it’s only fair” he said while removing his shirt. I gaped at his toned body and couldn’t help but run my fingertips down his torso as he undid his belt, when i glanced down to his underwear i audibly swallowed

“i know you’re going to be so good for me” he uttered stroking my cheek with his palm while palming himself

“how…how do you want me?” i hesitated before asking still eyeing his thickness, almost drooling when he twitched

“Let’s get you on the floor” he pulled me down from the table and onto the floor

“hands and knees love” he whispered and i did as told. He disappeared for a second before returning with a pillow, he stretch my arms and and told me to rest my head on the pillow. I arched my back for him and shivered at the thoughts running through my mind

“you’re sure?”

“i’m positive” i replied

A moment later his tongue was in my folds again gathering my juices and sliding into my centre before exiting again and shifting himself forward, his hands rubbed my ass and down my back, he gripped onto my hips and guided me onto his dick. My tight walls swallowed him as soon as he entered his thick length and we both moaned.

“oh god” i mumbled and stretched myself further

“not god love, just me” he slowly removed himself until just is tip remained inside me before thrusting back in forcefully and building a rhythm from there

“i don’t think ‘just me’ is a fair answer there, you’re basically a god” he gave a breathy laugh and continued moving, i had never felt so full in my life, his cock buried far inside me hitting my g-spot just right making me cry out for him to continue. He gave guttural moans from behind me. His hands moved up my back and got ahold of the area between my neck and shoulders, he pulled me back into him to meet his forceful jolts. I tightened around him and i could feel my clit screaming to be touched, almost as if he could read my mind one hand left my shoulder and went to his mouth before down against my bundle of nerves.

“you going to cum for me sweet y/n?” he asked as he twitched inside me and his thrusts became slightly sloppy. I nodded rapidly and my body shook with the force he used to fuck me. i squeezed the pillow between my hands and cried out a moan of his name as i clamped around him and let him fill me with his hot fluid.

He rocked into me for a while longer before slipping out of me and letting out a sigh of contentment. My body relaxed and my face pressed into the pillow, my ass was still propped in the air and i groaned at the ache in my core pushed myself up on my arms and then my hands and rolled over to sit down

“did i do okay?”

“you did perfectly, come here” i crawled over to him and he tilted my head to kiss my lips slowly and softly

“Hope’s waiting for us and you need to meet everyone else but next time i’ll take you out for a romantic dinner, i’ll get you another pretty dress, your favourite flowers which i already know because Hope has told me everything i could need to know and then if you want something like this again ill have you in my bed” i blushed dark and nodded smiling

“i’d like that very much”

[drvirgus]

Memories

Idol! Haerin X Idol! Reader X Idol! Wonyoung

Description: What occurs when the biggest player has to do a variety show with her ex, who dislikes Y/n because she thinks that Reader Cheated, and the person who has taken an interest in Y/n? Will old feelings rekindle, or will new ones develop?

Warnings: Mention of Cheating; Strong Language; Kinda toxic Reader?; Insults;

Chapter: im wrong? (Fully-Written)

Masterlist

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"Out of the way."

Annoyed, Y/n looked up as she heard the all-too-familiar voice. Wonyoung, who had been talking non-stop, immediately stopped. She was holding the small plastic hammer they had used in today's episode. Y/n's eyes narrowed as she looked at her ex-girlfriend.

Her clothes were completely soaked because Haerin had won the game by a landslide, managing to throw water in Y/n's face every time. Haerin simply stared down at the older girl. "Out of the way," she repeated. Y/n hesitated and glanced around. There was plenty of room for Haerin to pass by without any issues.

"H-Hey. No stress, okay? I know you hate each other, but can you at least get along on set?" Wonyoung asked nervously, fiddling with the plastic hammer. Unfortunately, her plea fell on deaf ears as neither of the two women paid any attention to what she was saying.

"So desperate to talk to me?" Y/n asked confidently as she stood up from the floor, a grin spreading across her face as she stared at her ex-girlfriend.

Haerin scoffed, visibly irritated. "Who's desperate? Me?" she asked, her hands briefly balling into fists, her jaw tense. "Who's the one desperately seeking love in strangers' beds?" Haerin sneered, one of her eyebrows arching upwards.

Y/n's eyebrows shot up in shock as she turned to Wonyoung. "You told her?" the Itzy member asked, her eyes wide as she looked at the Ive member. Wonyoung's hands flew up in a panic as she shook her head wildly. Neither of them noticed Haerin's intense gaze.

Haerin's jaw tightened as she nodded slightly, her eyes fixed on the ground. "You're unbelievable," she muttered quietly, then walked past the two idols without another word.

As Haerin walked away, she couldn't help but notice the way Wonyoung's eyes lingered on Y/n. It wasn't just friendly concern; there was something more there. Jealousy twisted in her stomach as she realized Wonyoung was flirting with Y/n. Wonyoung, with her bright smile and easy charm, was clearly trying to get closer to Y/n, and it was working.

Y/n, for her part, was torn. She still harbored deep feelings for Haerin, despite the bitterness and the pain. But Wonyoung's attention was a welcome distraction. There was something undeniably attractive about the Ive member's straightforward interest. Y/n found herself drawn to Wonyoung's enthusiasm and warmth, even as her heart ached for Haerin.

Later, during a break in filming, Wonyoung took the opportunity to sit next to Y/n. "Hey," she said, her tone light and friendly. "You did great today. Even with all the water," she added with a laugh, her eyes sparkling.

Y/n chuckled, feeling a flutter in her chest. "Thanks. You weren't too bad yourself," she replied, her smile genuine.

Wonyoung leaned in slightly, her voice dropping to a more intimate tone. "Maybe we could grab a coffee after this? Just the two of us?"

Before Y/n could respond, Haerin walked by, her expression hardening as she saw the two of them together. The sight of Wonyoung leaning in close to Y/n, her intention clear, made Haerin's blood boil. She clenched her fists, struggling to keep her composure.

Y/n noticed Haerin's reaction out of the corner of her eye, a small part of her feeling satisfaction at the jealousy she saw there. But she pushed those feelings aside, focusing on Wonyoung. "I'd like that," she said, her voice soft.

Wonyoung beamed, her excitement evident. "Great! It's a date, then."

As Wonyoung got up to get a drink, Y/n's gaze followed her briefly before turning to see Haerin watching them from a distance. Their eyes met, and for a moment, the air between them was thick with unspoken words and unresolved emotions.

Haerin turned away first, her heart pounding with a mixture of anger and something she didn't want to admit was jealousy. She still loved Y/n, but seeing her with Wonyoung was a stark reminder of everything that had gone wrong between them.

Y/n watched Haerin walk away, her heart aching. Despite the attraction she felt towards Wonyoung, her feelings for Haerin were still there, raw and powerful. She sighed, knowing that no matter how things progressed with Wonyoung, the shadow of her past with Haerin would always be there, lingering just beneath the surface.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Since the moment Wonyoung found out that Y/n and Haerin used to be a couple, she made it her mission to ask Haerin for permission. She knew it was silly, but she didn't want to take anything away from anyone. Even if Haerin still had feelings for her ex-girlfriend, Wonyoung would prefer a fair fight.

The Ive idol took a deep breath as the cameras stopped rolling and the staff began slowly but surely clearing the set. Y/n quickly disappeared into the bathroom, but not without letting Wonyoung know first. Wonyoung saw this as the perfect moment to ask Haerin.

"Can we talk?"

Haerin looked up from her bag and saw the much taller woman standing before her. The NewJeans member sighed as she straightened up.

"Of course."

Wonyoung laughed nervously, running her hands through her long hair several times. Her eyes flicked to the door Y/n had gone through to get to the bathroom before focusing back on Haerin. A nervous laugh escaped her throat as she felt her cheeks flush visibly.

"So... uh... I just wanted to say that I like Y/n," she began, the taller of the two blushing as she laughed awkwardly. "I know you think she cheated on you, but—"

"She did cheat on me."

Startled by the interruption, she stared at the younger woman in front of her for a few seconds.

Wonyoung's surprise was evident in her wide-eyed stare. She hadn't expected such a blunt response from Haerin. Clearing her throat, she tried to regain her composure.

"But... are you sure about that?" Wonyoung asked tentatively, her voice laced with uncertainty.

Haerin's expression remained stoic, but a flicker of pain crossed her features. "I heard things. Saw things. I know she cheated."

Wonyoung's brows furrowed with concern. "I understand that you're hurt, Haerin, but sometimes things aren't as they seem. Have you ever talked to Y/n about this?"

Haerin shook her head firmly. "I don't need to. I know what I saw."

Wonyoung took a step closer, her eyes filled with empathy. "I get it. But maybe it wouldn't hurt to hear her side of the story. You never know, there might be a misunderstanding."

Haerin's gaze softened slightly, but she remained guarded. "I appreciate your concern, Wonyoung, but this is between me and Y/n. It's not something you need to worry about."

Wonyoung nodded understandingly, though a hint of disappointment flashed in her eyes. "I understand. Just know that I'm here if you ever need someone to talk to."

With that, Wonyoung gave Haerin a small smile before excusing herself and leaving the room. Haerin watched her go, feeling a twinge of guilt for shutting her down so abruptly. But her pride and hurt still held sway over her, making it difficult to consider any other perspective than her own.

Alone in the room, Haerin's thoughts drifted back to Y/n. Despite her certainty about Y/n's betrayal, there was a small voice in the back of her mind urging her to reconsider. Maybe Wonyoung was right. Maybe she should at least hear Y/n out before making any final judgments.

But for now, Haerin pushed those thoughts aside, burying them beneath layers of hurt and resentment. She wasn't ready to confront the possibility that she might have been wrong all along. Not yet, at least.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Taglist: @isabbellle @jisooftme @hyejin67 @multiliker @shozeu @rdfgfv @jeindall777 @wonyoungssi @gayforalll @1luvkarina @gtfoiydlyj @linnnsworld @saysirhc @sixflame438 @itzzyyyyyyydaaaa

[the-90s-music-colosseum]

Round 4 Match 4

propaganda below the cut! (massive wall of text warning)

Miki Berenyi:

"shes the most beautiful woman i have ever seen. her hair is amazing and she's just gorgeous idk what else to say or how to fathom her beauty"

"I met miki berenyi a few weeks ago and shes the coolest and nicest person I've ever met so down to earth and nice and lovely which imo makes her incredibly hot"

"Founding mother of Shoegaze"

"I want to hold miki so tenderly and tell her jokes that make her laugh like we’re childhood friends and have a sleepover where we do each others makeup and then fuck so nasty the neighbors get alarmed and debate with each other whether or not to call the cops"

Brian Molko:

"Gender"

"IM GOING TO EAT HER. He is soooo beautiful and freakish and small and weird and girlfriend and tiny like a little princess bug fairy. Literally gorgeous she has to win"

"When he flipped over the table with the little limp wrist.... someone find the video"

"1998 woman of the year"

"Brian Molko is peak gender envy, gender bending and being yourself without caring about other people's opinion, on top of all that he is a great guitarist that writes amazing songs"

"Brian’s gonna win this. I think we all kinda know that."

"Tumblrinas would be nothing without Brian molko"

"Kills her kills her kills her kills her kills her kills him kills her. He's my everything <3"

"He came 10th in the list of hottest women sometimes in the 90s. Gender goals."

"No one in the world can sound so nasal and look so angelic....."

"don't you wish you had his gender"

"Single-handedly took my gender by the scruff of the neck and threw it in a washing machine at full speed. He talked about not expecting to "get away with" passing as a woman to the degree that he did when he started purposely presenting feminine. He talked about the importance to fuck with people's heads through his appearance and behaviour, the importance of ambiguity. About how being in the band allowed him to do stuff he couldn't have done otherwise, to exaggerate some of his traits. He had the fuck ass bob makeup nail polish dresses stuff down, but not in an overly sophisticated way, especially in the early career 90s days the vibe was more shabby punk rock chick. Also he fantasized about being in an all-girl band called Skirt and playing guitar and singing backing vocals in drag. According to a 1997 melody maker interview bandmate steve hewitt called him "the most confused woman he's ever known". And if you go down that rabbit hole there's just more of this. Lots of material to focus on if you like genderweird bisexual unclean libertines (song ref) who will just say Anything in interviews. It's fun."

"I've drawn him as saints and martyrs such as saint sebastian and joan of arc. Or all bloody lying in a wet alley after being thrown out of a club. Or unconscious on a snowy road. Or dying in a glue trap. Or shocked after seeing a dead body. Also as a nun and as rose mcgowan in the doom generation. This is because I'm normal."

"She's a sick little angel faced freak. My theythem girlboy queen. He reminds me of an ant. He's like 5 foot 4 or something. My goth girl boyfriend. <3"

[lunels]

Hi, hope you’re doing well 💘 would I be able to request headcanons about what ellie’s ideal girl would be?

hii thank u! & thank u sm 4 requesting you're my first one!!! i hope you like :) also sorry i wrote a little too much..

ellie's ideal girl headcannons

automatically. she would luvvvvvv someone who is a badass. LIKE. confident, has some confidence. someone who isn't afraid to speak their mind or voice their opinion. i think of dina for example, who’s a little bit of a flirt. made it known that she liked ellie, who went and kissed ellie first. orrr riley, who was impulsive and willingly brought ellie along w her sometimes to show that she wasn’t afraid to join the fireflies. who showed she was determined to do what she thought was right. ellie is def into those types of women.... and more! hold on.

she'd love someone who could match her level of wittiness and have an even smarter mouth. sharp minded individuals!!! she would find that veryyyy attractive. someone who can have her a little speechless or gets her gears turning. like damn... okay, shit.

someone who doesn't take a lot of things seriously. WHO KNOWS HOW TO CRACK A DAMN JOKE. like come onnn we already know ellie is a big jokester !!!! she's a sarcastic girl. she would grow bored of someone who doesn't know how to have a little fun.. yk??? a little frisky.. a little..... yk???? just have SOME sense of humor and you're good. you make her laugh. you're married.

SOMEONE WHO ISN'T GONNA GET BORED OF HER TALKING AND RAMBLING AB THE STUFF SHE LIKES...... sorry to keep yelling at you. so sorry. 😇 just someone who listens to her!!!!! who is genuinely interested in learning more ab her interests!!! basically hearts in her eyes. she will love U 4ever.

someone who accepts her flaws regardless of what they are. she's an insecure girl. she would grow fond of someone who can accept her all, bad or good. who will stay after seeing her bad moments.

she'll neeeeddd someone who is the type to be reassuring when she feels like she's drowning and who makes her feel wanted. ellie is def the type to doubt herself and be heavily insecure in a lot of her abilities. feeling as if she's not good enough. she will feel drawn to people who see something in her and aren’t shallow. willing to show her that she is enough. that she is everything and more!!!

someone who is also, if not equally artistic as her. im not hating on the no hobby girls or the sleeps all day and stays in their room girls because thats also me! but i feel like a relationship w ellie or just a friendship in general would mesh very well if you had a handful of interests that you indulged in. bonus if youre into the same things!!! (she's already scribbling ab you in her journal) she’s THE clingy type but would like a bit of independence. don’t get me wrong for the sleeps all day girls, she’d love you too. promise. being in that gogogo mode and all that overworking she does to herself will backfire on her. just keep doing yo thanggg & she'll come thru

hate to say it but. someone who is motherly. idk how to explain it!! i hope that's not weird. like a nurturing person. she's been pretty much absent of a mother/mother figure her whole life and being friends/dating someone who nurtures and cares for her in a motherly way would have her HOOKED. she would be surpised at how good it feels to be taken care of for a little bit. she's not used to the being taken care of acts. or the just because kisses. or the long hugs when you notice she's off. or the frequent how are you feeling? how was your day? what's got you so worked up? dykwim?? does someone know what i mean???? just yeah. that.

alsoooo also idkkk but somebody who is the type to initate things. i know alot of ppl write/see ellie as the one to start everything and be on top and blahblahbalah and i do too sometimes! butttt she also second guesses she's nervyyyy she's veryyy much in her head. she will stand there and look at you with nothing behind her eyes screaming in her head wondering if you think of her the way she thinks of you UNTIL you just say i like you!!! wanna go out sometime?!?!? and you're set. done. she might as well just kiss you right there. if you go out of your way to show that you're interested, she'll do the rest. maybe. probably.

and that’s all i can think of thank you 4 requesting <3 xoxo, butterfly 🦋

[youremyheaven]

this might be a kinda niche observation but i have noticed women who are venusian plus saturnian are Not very nice 😭 i know two women who's entire chart is basically 50/50 venusian naks and saturn naks and one thing i've noticed they both do is try to remix traditional gender roles into some sort of female empowerment thing

for example, one of them is constantly going on dates with older rich men which by itself is like fine whatever but she tries to act like she's this genius feminist for doing it. like no babe.... you're still conforming to gender roles by essentially selling yourself to rich men to eventually become their spoiled housewife, if anything she's putting a capitalistic spin on it. i think this is because of the saturnian urge to conform to traditions meshing with the venusian urge to date lots and surround yourself with money and beauty

the second girl is obsessed with traditional beauty standards for im assuming the same reason. she literally often says things like "i love entering a room and knowing i'm the prettiest one there" and "walking down the street watching people gawk because i'm the most beautiful one here". it's so cringe and low vibrational, not to mention misogynistic yet just like the other girl she tries to put a feminist spin on it. she has a whole twitter account dedicated to unlocking your "divine feminine", which is a real thing but she does it in such an incorrect way like telling people what plastic surgery they need to be "perfect" and of course, how to attract a rich man. it's a combo of venusian vanity and saturnian rule following (the beauty standards being the rules)

also, they both HATE eachother 😭

that sounds about right ngl

I feel like Venusian women who are not drawn to the arts and are somehow unable to channel their creativity make it their sole purpose in life to pursue romance and 😬it kind of messes them up?? My grandma is Purvaphalguni Moon and she was a very talented singer back in the day and wanted to study Music in college but her family was against it and made her study to be a teacher and then she ended up marrying my grandad and also cheating on him and ngl it ruined her life,,, anywayyss I feel like Venusians were meant to pursue all of the themes of Venus, ESPECIALLY its creativity because art will fulfil you in ways no man or relationship can and in the absence of it, all this excessive materialistic pursuit of relationships brings out the corrosiveness of Venus.

Venus is capable of immense devotional spirituality, its not a shallow planet or influence by any means but to get to the spirituality (of any planet tbh) one has to transcend its more superficial material manifestations. I think Venusian fixation on romance, relationships etc can be very damning. I know a Purvaphalguni Moon girl who cannot be single for even a second and she said she can't get married because she will cheat on him 😭

I know several Venusians who are like you mentioned but damn that Venus and Saturn combination you talked about is lethal,, they can lead themselves to such a shallow hollow and empty life. Ngl I feel like all those "dating coaches" online who talk about "10 ways to marry a rich man" are all Venusian/Saturnian women and sorry to break it but I promise it never works out. If a man knows that you're with him for his money, I promise you no amount of money he throws at you will be worth the mind games and psychological abuse that will ensue.

I have a friend, Bharani stellium who is from a well to do family but she dreams of marrying someone filthy rich and being a housewife. She's also Saturnian lmao but I feel like her idealized visions of being someone's trophy wife will lead to some bitter experiences. Bc first of all Indian men are trash, second of all, rich people are trash and a rich Indian man and his family are probably capable of god knows what insanity. I think about that video of Shah Rukh Khan, aka the biggest actor the country has ever seen at Isha Ambani's (billionaire's daughter) twins birthday party where they'd brought out snakes??? (rich ppl things bc who tf would bring snakes to a toddler's bday party??) and Isha's brother picks up a snake and puts it on SRK's shoulder from behind, catching him off guard. Like ik its obviously not poisonous but like ??? thats so rude??? imagine just putting a snake on someone without their consent??? its that asshole's entitlement that makes him believe he can get away with anything. any video of the Ambani kids is a testament to them being rich assholes but anyways point is, rich people are fucked up and its insane to me that women want to sign away their autonomy by marrying into these families??? like are they dumb??? how naive do you have to be to believe that they'll be rich AND nice to you?? lol?? and you cannot raise a finger against them bc money will silence everyone, even the courts. look at what happened to amber heard and what's happening to angelina jolie. these are powerful, influential women, not housewives to rich douchebags but even then, they suffer. now what would happen to a regular woman???

anybody who dreams of being a trophy wife feels absolutely delusional to me. its so important to maintain your independence. like by all means i want to marry rich but i dont ever want to be in a position where im financially dependent on a man. THATS DANGEROUS. quite literally.

[olderthannetfic]

https://www.tumblr.com/olderthannetfic/740136068340482048/the-funniest-dni-i-ever-encountered-in-all-my-12?source=share

As a House Martell stan, it's been interesting to watch the evolution of that particular corner of the ASOIAF fandom over the years. For a while, because they were less present on the show (and their actual focus on the show was pretty bungled), they were mostly the favorites of superfans who'd read the books and therefore were deeply devoted to the whole ASOIAF universe, and given how much that means memorizing various types of Targaryen incest over the years, were almost never antis. A lot of people were also drawn to that they were the ~sexy, liberated house, as well as there being a fair number of POC who identified with some of the few non-white people in those books who were actually fully-realized characters (in the books, not so much in the show). IME it was usually people who were also shipping a lot of the other popular "problematic" ships in the fandom like Jaime/Cersei and Sansa/Petyr Baelish.

Then, at some point - particularly after the show ended and the fandom shrunk a lot - it got infected with a bunch of people writing long essays about how Daenerys and the entire Targaryen family were inherently "white supremacist" (previously, it had been more common for POC and other fans who focused on anti-racism to stan Daenerys, and point out that what the final season did with her was some white bullshit that tried to conflate killing oppressors like slavers with killing poor downtrodden people) and there ended up being a fandom fight between those people who saw the Targaryens as the more racist house or the Starks, but they all stanned Martells but in a very shallow sort of way just because they were the POC house. It's also worth nothing that Dorne has equal primogeniture - women can inherit, and in the books it's Doran's eldest daughter, Arianne, who is his heir, even though he has two younger sons - and it also is more accepting of LGBTQ+ people and bastards and general "sex outside of marriage" than most of the rest of Westeros, so it attracts a lot of people who are into them for that reason. I mean, I like them for that reason among others, but of course that's going to be a magnet to people who want to prove that they're extra special progressive for stanning them over like, the Lannisters.

Also, probably worth noting, the people in the second group were generally younger. Book-centric fans generally tend to be older IME in ASOIAF fandom. I feel like whenever a fandom is younger, there's more likely to be more anti behavior.

Anyway it was very weird to get back into ASOIAF when I read Fire and Blood and then when House of the Dragon started airing, and feeling like "my corner" of the fandom had become completely unrecognizable in my absence.

Also, I suspect it's probably drawing in some people who just really like Pedro Pascal. (It was better when it was drawing in the Alexander Siddig stans from DS9 fandom, snerk. Although even that fandom has had an obnoxious influx of younger purity-policing virtue-signalling types discovering it these days, writing stupid discourse about how Garak/Garashir is problematic and people should instead ship characters who don't like each other that much and don't interact much one-on-one because the combinations of them are more progressive or something.... sigh! Anyway, probably not helped by the fact that Game of Thrones completely wasted him, even though his character was one of the best ones in the books and a big one that drew me into loving House Martell. He would've been great as book!Doran, but alas....)

I'm also going to say that as others have pointed out, I'll always be mystified by the fact that ASOIAF even HAS antis. If you're that opposed to incest, age-disparate relationships, violence, etc. anything controversial, how can you stan the actual canon of that show? Or the books, which arguably have even more rape and incest and ephebephilia going on. It just seems like you'd have to have a very adversarial relationship with canon to a point that I just don't understand why you don't pick another fandom. Of course, it's probably really just that antis are hypocrites.

--

Hypocrites, yes. But also drawn to material that they're not comfortable being drawn to. The younger they are, the more the cognitive dissonance makes them act out.

I don't condone it, but I do understand it.

[nahalism]

Hey 💌💌

I come to you with a question, in a bit of a desperate state. I have big problems with being jealous, paranoid. Especially in romantic relationships but it doesn’t always stop there. What do you think causes a person to be like this? Did you ever struggle with being like this? How can one even begin to unravel it, i wonder if it’s possible to be a human and just…not feel jealousy or is it part of the experience we can’t fully avoid?

(For some background:I have always been a jealous person but my life experience probably blew it to a larger proportion. The thing is i know most things rely on communication but the problem is ive spent a few years in a relationship that i thought had good communication, it turned out i was living in pretty much a constant lie for a few years. It made me realize pretty brutally that no matter how much you are made to feel and think one thing, if the other person is smart enough they can really hide anything from you for an extended period of time all the while giving you the illusion of being heard, seen, loved, cared for. How can i know the communication isnt falling on a rotten bed of lies over and over? How can i trust blindly, when i hear we have to come with an open heart and give each person the benefit of the doubt and full plate of trust from the get go for a relationship to work it feels like a death sentence, its just a matter of when and how. Sometimes i wonder if there is even a way out of it at all.)

hello angelll <3. sooo i actually dont think it has to do with communication in this instance. you can only communicate with clarity when you have clarity on a situation. someone triggered is communicating, but often communicates irrationally or in a way that inflames the issue. lets say a person is avoidant and their partner is co-dependant. the more the co-dependant person communicates, the more they push the avoidant person into silence and exacerbate the issue. im not saying its right, but that intentional communication requires skill, being emotionally regulated, and is deeper than being honest and speaking with good intentions. to communicate well, you have to know who your speaking to, and how to deliver what you wish to communicate. of course this is important, but i think its secondary in comparison to the main issue –> i really do believe whenever anything external has power over a person and their emotions it is rooted in the individuals feelings of self esteem and self worth. ultimately we tend to be attracted toward the familiar or what is comfortable. its why people who are perpetually in toxic relationships find 'good' guys or women to be unattractive or describe 'not having a spark' with them. its also why also why people tend to gravitate toward or find that spark with people who trigger or enhance their pre existing disposition toward things they don't no longer want to experience. for example, someone who doesn't want to be cheated on isn't looking for a cheat, but something in them is drawn toward the type of character who will do this and reinforce their habits or beliefs about relationship. so the answer to how to end that cycle is two fold.

1) you have a habit of acting out jealousy and paranoia in relationships. look at your relationship with your primary care givers and your first experience that blew those feelings of jealousy and paranoia out of proportion, then study them. understand the root of those emotions (usually insecurity, feelings of inadequacy, and comparison of yourself to others, particularly people who are important or close to the person whose affection you want).

2) once you understand the root of the emotion, look at what you can do to solve it. how can you meet your own needs? how can you build a sense of self that leads you to feel comfortable and confident in what you have to offer and bring to the table? once you find the answer to this, begin to practice it. meet that need on your own. by doing this you evolve, and begin to expect more and better from both yourself and others. this changes who and what you find attractive, thus reducing the chance that your next partner is someone with the traits of a person who will trigger your jealousy and paranoia. – if you do the work properly, and develop (or work toward developing) a secure attachment style, it will help ensure that the person you are next drawn and attracted to also practices a secure attachment style. them being securely attached is invaluable, because it's inevitable that you will still experience moments of insecurity, jealousy, comparison, and distrust. someone with a secure attachment style will allow you to have those moments without inflating the issue, or giving you reason to be disproportionately triggered. however, they won't accept maltreatment which is good because their healthy boundaries will also hold you accountable. the more you engage in healthy relationships the more you rewire your pre-existing blueprint and feel safe enough to release those harmful traits.

its really important to get the root issue handled before trying to solve things with communication or whatever other solution. because those are the things that will ensure you find yourself in situations with trustworthy people that allow you to feel safe enough to be yourself. there is always the possibility that our own vices can begin to break people down and devolve into a form of self fulfilling prophecy. for example, someone suspects their partner of infidelity. the partner is faithful, however after years of defending themselves from their person 1's suspicions may begin to resent their partners accusations, and find themselves looking else where or experiencing attraction to other people. even though they never act on these feelings (never cheat), the lack of trust and persistent insecurity is what creates the room for the partner to grow distant. when the partner now tells them 'hey i dont want to do this any more' and two weeks later is in a new relationship, the person with those insecurities now projects this onto them and says 'see, i always knew you would cheat/move on/i wasn't enough', when that was never the case, just a consequence of the way they treated the person who has now moved on.

there will always be someone more beautiful, more attractive, more *insert desirable quality*. you have to love you, see you, and know why you are worth sticking around for. if you dont have this inner stability, you will always find external chaos, and be looking around you for who else can take your spot. the truth is any and everyone can take your spot, but no one can fill it the way you do. so focus on filling it, and loving yours. whoever is for you is for you. you won't have to fight for them, and it may not always be easy, but will it will always feel safe and feel peaceful. – sending you much love, courage, and discernment to work through this <3

[yonpote]

maybe people who were socialized as girls are more likely to like dnp for some reason. I don't know. A lot of fanbases attract certain types of people for difficult to measure reasons. Imo the important thing is to be inclusive of different identities, however common or rare they may be within the fanbase. I've never seen anyone openly *not* accepting of transfem people in the phandom, and im not sure its good to imply that the phandom is not accepting to transfems just because there aren't many. Unless there is evidence that there ARE people who AREN'T accepting of transfems, in which case please link them so i can block lol. tl;dr i don't think skewed demographics always means exclusion. look at the disproportionate amount of gays that love dnp, and they certainly never excluded straight people.

man the way you misconstrue what i say completely cmonnn. youre right, i DONT know any individual phannies in the community who are Explicitly against trans women and entirely know people who are accepting of them! but that doesn't eliminate internalized transmisogyny or maybe calling it like, cisnormativity would be better? idk maybe transmisogyny is not the exact word i am supposed to use, but you can't say There's No Reason for whatever. the reason dnp fans skew afab is bc we're all yaoi girls and yaoi is explicitly targeted towards cis straight women, and i know a handful of transfems who love bl

(and dont pretend like you dont love shipping men and youre different bc yes even if u dont ship these specific dudes whats the likeliness that u enjoy aziracrow or steddie even if u SAY u dont ship phan there IS a reason you were drawn to their dynamic in the first place)

[mugeesworld]

Fat phobia in one piece.

Im not the type to get on social media like this and talk about my opinion or thoughts about something. But I feel very strongly about this. If stuff like this isn't for you I would recommend not reading♥︎♥︎

Tw: this is talking about fat phobia and it could hurt your feelings if you have a weaker mind or are in a bad mind set right now.

Before I start I would like to say you are gorgeous. You really are. That's not me trying to be nice or whatever. I deadass think you are beautiful. I love all women. No matter what they look like. They are art. And it's Sad that a lot of them don't know that. If you ever feel bad about your appearance or currently do. I hope you realize your stunning. You're a true piece of art. Someone that deserves unconditional love and nothing less. I hope everyone that reads this can see themselves through my eyes on day and truly see how gorgeous and desirable they are. ♥︎

I plan on writing sanji with a chubby partner head cannons cause he is my favorite character. But when writing for him it's hard knowing that Oda the creator is fat phobic.

It's no secret that one piece is known for its beautiful women. How they are all drawn with the same skinny body type. Basically saying goodbye to their rib cage. How all the "attractive" women look the same except for a different hair color/style.

But when it's a plus size women. Oda makes them look fucking disgusting.

I just finished the thriller bark arc. Ik that's not far in but their was 2 characters that have caught my attention so far that didn't sit well with me how they were treated.

Granny kokoro from water 7 and Lola from thriller bark.

Both of these characters were disrespected when they were such a big part in helping. He made them basically a tool.

Kokoro is a fuckin queen. I love her. When she was shown to be a mermaid sanji got all sad and shit she wasn't his/oda's definition of beautiful. Cause she was plus size. And looking at how he drawn her is so unrealistic. He made her a circle with a head on it. Literally. Didn't do any details like how he does on the "attractive" women's breast. He full on disrespected her when they wouldn't be alive without her. Not only that hut they couldn't of got there in the first place. And they repay her by making fun of her. Do you know how fucked up that is. They used her for nothing but a tool. And Franky. That Lady raised him. Checked in on him all the time even though he was considered a villain in water 7. And he called her hag and stuff. Treated her so disrespectfully. Always yelling at her. Oh but when it was a skinny girl he would be all excited.

And Lola? HE LITERALLY MADE HER A FUCKIN PIG??? HOW CAN IT BE MORE OBVIOUS BRO. Once again Lola helped nami. And she was a ally! She supported nami when she lied saying she was trans. We stan her for that!! And they made Lola's character so desperate for Male validation. When her soul returned she helped luffy get all that power. They all would have died with out her. And he made her real body both ugly and unrealistic. She looked like a sucking muppet character that was in a private academy school. And not only that but once again being "desperate" and asking them to marry her? And even says. She's been rejected 4,444 times. Her men then patched up the straw Hats.

The disrefuckingspect is crazy. It really is. And I've heard people bringing this up with big momma, that blue fish guy, and that one pirate lady that was fast then suddenly became skinny cause of a fruit.

Oh yeah and one more fuckin thing. ODA ISN'T EVEN SKINNY. HE'S A GOOD MID SIZE AT LEAST. HOW YOU GONNA DIS YOUR OWN KIND???

And take a look at this manga strip

[lin-lizzie]

I JUST LISTENED TO THE EPISODE OF TFTSD WHERE YOU'RE A CHARACTER THATS SO COOL!! ALSO WHO IS YOUR FAVORITE PC FROM EACH CAMPAIGN?? SORRY IM EXCITED :D

aaa it’s ok!!! I was sooooo excited hearing my name too LOL

as for favorite player characters… for campaign 1 Kyborg!!! He’s so goofy and silly and stupid, I honestly never expected to love him so much but omg before the Spectril brainrot i was CRAZY for Kyborg too. he’s just??? So???? HEHWHWHEHWHEHWHWHWHWHEEHWH

I think it’s also because of his whole arc in Armageddon plus his backstory… I love me a traumatized man/j

Im really struggling for the second campaign though… like ok can I be honest here? I love both campaigns, I really really do love the work the cast puts into each episode!!! But for some reason the second campaign hasn’t exactly… captured my full attention? I don’t know how to word or phrase this, but as funny and amazing and cool Groteth is… it hasn’t exactly drawn me in as much as the Infinight campaign did. I really don’t know what it is, like literally they still have the same humor, rp and y’know all that, but like… I don’t know ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I really want to say though I am between Mathide and Chip, mainly cuz Chip is a tiefling rogue (assassin too) and omg I LOVOOVOVOEEEEEE that. He’s also very funny, and love how his wife is missing (I miss my wife tails. I miss her a lot.), but also Mathide is just… so relatable. LOL

I think I liked Duran and uhhhhhh what’s her name again? Barbara’s character in the mini campaign, the Euthagenia memes are taking over my head so I can’t remember her name…

I am also going to use this ask as an excuse to talk about my other favorite characters that are NOT player characters!

From the Infinight campaign, everyone that knows me or have seen my stuff SHOULD know who my favorite NPC is here. I love him so much!!! Spectril, just, AUAAUUAUAAUUAHHHH

however I would like to say that I LOVE all of the OG Infinights too! I sooooo wish we had more on Elleve and Grissly, sad the women get barely any screentime :( I also wanna know more about Fred and Elleve!!!

Back to Spectril though, there’s SO much I love about him. Not just design and voice (aka physical attraction) but literally he AUUAUAUAUGHHH

his whole little arc within Wight Winter? His introduction with his bust at the library? Just. I don’t know how to explain this without making this whole post about him. Maybe after this.

The mini campaign didn’t have many npcs… but I will say I absolutely LOVED the references to the main 4. (Well, 3. Idk if Gum Gum had one, I can’t hear for shit)

Campaign two should be a little obvious but omg I LOVE LIMBER LIZZIE. THEY ARE SO COOL. BADASS. YOU GO LIMBER LIZZIE. oh and uhhh what’s her name? Franceska? Robert’s wife also the Wolfman’s girlfriend?(/j) yeah she’s cool too

[thatbitchsimone]

How do you think you gain confidence? I was always that girl growing up that just didn't even know the concept of self-respect... </3

this is such a hard question that i really wish i had an answer for but tbh i dont really know how i gained my confidence bc its something that slowly developed and grew over time and i honestly dont know how i achieved it. my first guess is that my mom (and my dad tbh but i think my mom was more impactful since we r both women u know) instilled it in me from a very young age and that gave me a bit of a headstart in a way. i have been very insecure earlier tho like in my early teens i was very insecure about my looks but when i was about 16-17 i was starting to get more confident but that confidence wasnt even rooted in my looks it was more from my personality and me learning that ppl are very drawn to me just from my energy bc i do have a strong presence and once i leaned into that i found out that im very charming and naturally charismatic (idk if its genetic or just a result of my upbringing and my parents parenting style bc my brother has this too) and i think thats what lead me to also appreciate how i look bc i started liking and feel proud of who i am and my face and body is part of who i am.

i feel like ppl reading this will assume im especially physically beautiful or whatever but i think the interesting thing about this is that im actually not. like my physical features are kinda mid. like my features arent striking. im very girl next door facially. attractive but not head turningly so, just regular attractive. nothing special at all when u really boil it down to just my physical looks/face. what makes me stand out to a lot of ppl is the way i carry myself. the confidence in my walk, the look in my eye, my overall presence and the vibe about me etc. im more intrigueing than i am physically beautiful. idk how to explain it. all i can say is that just simply looking or appearing confident ascends physical looks and i know this from experience.

so anyways my confidence runs way deeper than just surface level/looks. i just appreciate and work with what i have. i dont aspire to be on the same level as models and celebrities bc i dont feel the need to be the prettiest girl in the room or look like an instagram model bc im very happy with who i am and when i look at myself in the mirror i do think im beautiful like just in my own personal opinion. i just love myself idk i just love her shes my baby im my baby

[gggoldfinch]

Wanna talk a little abt ur self inser copia art. I love it so freakin much. The lil double chin and stretch marks fucking healed me because every art that wants to depict afab people always do it so that the "undesirable" traits don't taint it. And it's alienating you know? It has become better in fandom spaces i admit that, but its still shocking and delightful to see one like yours. Like, that's me!! I have those!!! They're beautiful!!!

Also your Copia looks so freakin soft im so abnormal abt it

AAAAGHGG Im so glad you're able to see yourself and relate!!!!! That genuinely makes me so happy, seriously.

I grew up on the internet seeing art of small and skinny, perfect women, with chiseled jawlines and cheekbones and not an ounce of oddly located fat, and it always made me feel kinda bad. I'm big and tall and sturdy and was honestly built like medieval germanic farm mother by the age of 14 LMFAO so needless to say I've always drawn myself "differently" than the art I've always been exposed to. I too have thankfully seen a shift in the dichotomy, especially over the last few years, but still...

Whenever I draw self insert stuff I try to draw myself with all the things I don't necessarily love about myself because, if I do, and make them look nice, then that can make me appreciate them more irl. They're part of what makes me me, so why get rid of them just because I may not think my double chin or soft jawline or big ears are the most attractive 🤷🏻‍♀️

Drawing myself in more of a raw, real manner over the years has ABSOLUTELY helped me in appreciating my body more. I wear crop tops and low-rise bottoms a lot more often now, and don't pay too much attention in avoiding making "unflattering" faces that draw attention to my chin. My thin lips don't bother me as much as they used to, and I don't shave for the sake of the public eye anymore. Although what my preteen-era bullies said about my appearance does still stick with me every day, I'm less inclined to believe the cruel things they said, because I know I grew into a beautiful person in my own right on the outside as well as the inside.

Anyway, if my fictional s/o's can love me for how I look then I can too 😁👍🏻 and so can you 🫵🏻😁 !!!

[daily-linkclick]

ooo okay will take that into consideration! i figured thered have been lines removed or skimmed over no adaption is ever 100% faithful (<mdzs fan. hell.)

also yeah with nirvanas scene yjh says hes not attracted to men, nirvana says theyre not a man or a woman and for that chapter they do consistently use they/them, but after that it was a lot of he/him again like. cmon man. wyd.

as for kdjs thoughts i feel like theyre still pretty thorough in showing what hes thinking, then again i have no reference point to compare. id recommend reading it tho, it is very action-y with little down time between major scenes but the art is gorgeous during some of those fight scenes, the mandala attacks especially so

(this is an aside, im not reading it for the romance/shipping brain is Turned Off but do kdj and yjh actually get together or anything by the end. idm spoilers im just curious bc of the "im not attracted to men" line lolll)

OUGH orv webtoon try to be cool with gender challenge.. that worries me on how they're going to handle this one character in the future LOL

anyways yeah!! i plan to read the webtoon too since i want art references for when i storyboard some of my favorite scenes! reading the webnovel has blessed me with animatics in my head and they need to be let out. ALSO SEEING THE WOMEN DRAWN MAKE ME SOOO HAPPY they look SO cool!

i also didn't read orv for the romance and i have been very delighted that it isn't something that's prevalent! though you can read it either way tbh bc the development is *that* good. as for the question if jongdook get together... (SPOILERS for the ship under the cut)

technically, no. all i'll say in regards to the nature of the epilogue is that it's open ended, so it's technically up to you to decide if they get together or not! personally, the ending is perfect for what ORV is. though there is a common ship that a lot of fans who have read through the entire novel like, and i can definitely see why.

i know you don't mind spoilers, but i highly recommend reading through the entire webnovel without knowing the ending! i'm not talking about any romance (i'll say now, there's no explicit romance, if you're wondering) but i'm talking about the beautiful message you get from it as a reader. cried for the entire night and changed my perspective on life

[sidebaxolotl]

I hope you don't mind but I have a kinda rambly side B question: can people with significant SSA still marry someone if it's someone of the opposite sex? For me, I'm female and I'm not sexually attracted to men but am sexually attracted to women, but I'm also really drawn to the idea of getting married and raising kids and I'm not opposed to the idea of marrying a man. I would love to have a husband and love him deeply, just in a non-sexual way, like a really close friend or brother. And idk, I'm not sure how I fit into all this, I don't really hear about anyone with this kinda situation. Tbh my ideal relationship would be like Mary and Joseph where they love each other a lot but they're celibate. But I don't know if this is possible or realistic in today's age, like even guys who are good with chastity would probably consider it a dealbreaker if their wife was into women and not attracted to them... and would it be considered an impediment to marriage? I've been feeling a lot of turmoil over this but I don't know who to talk to about it. Thanks for reading.

This is a very interesting ask! I mean there's nothing in the bible saying that you cant do that--I wouldn't personally recommend it but I don't think its bad or a sin.

I know there's a phenomenon of "mixed orientation marriages" in the Christian community which if im understanding you correctly is what you've described.

Honestly maybe u could just marry a side b gay dude and then u dont have to worry about the sexual aspect at all since you both wouldn't be attracted to each other in that way.