#what can I even say

[chloesimaginationthings]

Abbacchio says “Happy Birthday Grimace”

[saintadeline]

I can't figure out how to articulate what I want to say but like... Something about how the research hall is and has always been about disability and how kin of the cosmos also is as a whole. Something about how the "horror" of the research hall is entirely based on abled people's fears of disability, especially mental, it's about the sick and yet completely human bodies as opposed to the rest of the game being entirely based on actual body horror and barely human bodies, it's about the sudden screaming and incoherent vocalizations, it's about the repetitive movements, rocking, hitting head on the wall, grasping at yourself and nothing, seeing things that arent there. There was never anything "scary" about the rh to me it's always just been sad because these are people who were just left there, but I think about how some people see it as another horror aspect of bloodborne and i think about ableist "body horror" and depictions of disabled people in horror. I think about how disability is seen as something inherently horrific that terrifies abled people at the possibility of it happening to them. I think about how disability only exists and is only deemed relevant by abled people when it is equalled to suffering, i think most importantly about how religions like christianity and catholicism romanticize disability through their romanticization of pain, i think of so many saints that are just disabled people that were alive and in under so much pain that it was considered pious because pain was considered something to be achieved, did those saints ever seek out their chronic pain or were they just blessed with the ability to live through it? What about the people that didnt live through it? I think about this idea that suffering is always worth it religiously and is sought after by abled people, that suffering is something that will save the masses through one person taking it all upon themself. I think about the idolization some people have of disabled people especially disabled children, this idea that we are envoys from god or a higher plane and here to suffer in order to heal the world, i think about the fact this is coupled with infantilization and treating said disabled people as objects. I think about the objectification of disability when it doesnt concern you and i think about how disabled people are always treated as second, and whichever abled person is nearest is seen as the one to take decisions for them, i think about the way people treat the research hall as just a part of maria's story, just here as flavor to make her own suffering more dramatic. I think about how disability is always seen as something "other" and once again this idolization of disabled people as from "another plane", i think about dissociation through chronic pain and i think about constant derealization and wishing you were somewhere else, and i think about kin of the cosmos and the transcending of flesh through pain in order to reach another plane. I think about feeling things that arent there and i think about communing with the great ones, and i think about how the great ones only commune with those who have suffered enough. I think about the church and the research hall and i think about the impact social class has on disability, i think about those treated as "the good disabled people", i think about the way society puts them on a pedestal and projects them as a "goal", an "ideal" to follow for others, i think about inspiration porn, i think about saints being an example made to be followed because if they could turn their pain into prayer why can't you? If they can get through it why can't you? If they can communicate why can't you? If they can ascend and become kin why can't you? Why is one a failure and the other a saint?

[delineateddepths]

Mouthwashing...

[gilligould]

[sapphosraven]

Next up in the Eivor/Randvi smut fic line up is some strap action. I wrote it with the intention of killing everyone who reads it :)

[cannibalindsm]

Oomf is comparing CAIN from THE BIBLE the guy that committed the FIRST MURDER to KURT STACHLER

[m4rs-ex3]

the way she just fucking did that

[anothermonikan]

What the fuck was that.

[raebiis]

Being an adult is admitting you’d totally bang all the characters in Vampire the Masquerade: Bloodlines.

Yes bitch, I said ALL.

[autoboros]

now draw them pregnant

[moncuries]

crusader kings, laguna beach and subway sandwich… girls, this is what im talking about!!!!!!!!!’

[squirmydonnie]

I'm going to need to interact less here probably.

I'm feeling bad.

I tried very hard to not let this stuff bother me so much, but I hear it in every conversation.

It's pretty exhausting

Soon enough I'll breakdown as I usually do.

I don't like doing that. But when it happens I'll have some clarity.

I'll be happy soon. It's just going to take a long time. And I have some work to do. Some schoolwork. And some other stuff as well.

CW: nudity at the bottom. But don't worry it's just Simon 🙂

Anyway

[soup-mother]

yea man idk, i just think those troo trans women have no idea what it's like to be made fun of for liking "feminine" things, like i really just feel like getting called an egg on twitter is exactly the same level of violence as getting kicked and called a faggot for not getting changed in the mens changing rooms yknow? just really feels like they've forgotten where they came from and are kicking down on those poor opressed GNC cis ppl, who are still cis btw why would you ever think there were shared experiences? ew

[as-rare-as-trees]

Wh-what....

[chenqing9]

Should I do it? My yearly watching of ultimate brainrot? I… think I’m gonna do it. Please pray for me.

image quality courtesy of streaming platforms “no screenshot” policy and my shitty phone cam

[tradetobest]

I JUST TURNED ON THE GAME OH MY GOD