#what are thoughts i can't even articulate

[katzirra]

I know it's cool to be ragging on Megalopolis but I legit... there are so few movies in this world that ROB ME OF WORDS. But sitting there watching that, and the only thing I could think was "There's no way he thought he was cookin' with this..."

As well as me trying to explain to ANYONE the plot, let alone the experience of watching it and being UNABLE TO EVEN ARTICULATE SENTENCES TO DO SO has left me feeling crazy. And I can't use the addage, ah you just gotta watch it - NO. I wouldn't make anyone sit through that?? I CAN'T EVEN PINPOINT WHAT'S BAD. ALL OF IT??

But my rule is a movie is only bad if it failed to do what it set out to do - DID IT?? LIKE there's stuff people would point viciously at and be like THAT'S BAD - I CAN'T EVEN HATE SHIA IN DRAG, IT'S JUST SO LIKE WHATEVER AND THROWN IN THERE, and not really made into a big thing so I'd be the idiot to make it a big thing if no on in universe gave a shit RIGHT?? AND IT ISN'T LIKE AGAINST HIS CHARACTER IN THE MOVIE, I COULD FAULT IT IF IT WAS A WEIRD PERFORMATIVE THING no?? That character is LITERALLY just that kinda person.??

IT'S JUST A BLOATED WEIRD EXPERIENCE THAT HAS ROBBED ME OF THE ABILITY TO PROCESS IT OR ADDRESS IT IN ANY WAY TBH...

I'm viciously curious how I'm going to reflect on it in a few years because I'm just gonna be left with this big question mark of emotions tbh??? WHAT WAS THAT.

What would you guys consider the worst movie you've ever seen? Not something that's fun to make fun of, nothing you ironically enjoyed, I mean just an absolutely miserable moviegoing experience that you paid for, hated every second, and wish you had walked out of and asked for a refund.

For me, no joke, Madagascar 3: Europe's Most Wanted. It did not even feel like a real movie to me. It made me see red! I was SEETHING with anger and annoyance throughout the entire thing, and I cannot for the life of me articulate why. I saw it once in 2012 when I was 15, I remember almost nothing about it now, but it struck a nerve with me like no other movie ever has before or since.

Tell me in the tags, which movie makes you disproportionately angry just thinking about it?

[jikooklove9795]

I honestly don't know and can't even relate what went on JM's mind that one day to just set his expensive watch on JK's birth time, randomly come on to do the live. It really is so delicate...I would love your take in this...maybe because I want you talk about it so badly😄. Your way of articulating words and collecting stuffs so delegently amazes me everytime

Hi Anon 😊

Thank you so much for your kind words. I truly appreciate each and everyone of you who takes the time to read my posts. Your words made me so happy, Anon.

I already did a post about it.

Here you go:

This was such a sweet and thoughtful gesture from Jimin! It truly speaks volumes about the depth of his bond with Jungkook. It showed his desire to make the moment deeply personal. By choosing something so symbolic, a watch launched in the year of Jungkook's birth and setting it to his exact birth time, Jimin demonstrated his attention to detail and how much he treasures Jungkook. It was a reflection of Jimin's admiration to Jungkook's existence and the profound impact he has on his life. It was as if Jimin was saying, "This moment in time is when someone truly extraordinary entered the world". Its not just a celebration of a birthday, its a celebration of Jungkook as a person, his journey and the role he plays in Jimin's life.

What's even more touching is that Jimin let us, fans be part of such a personal and meaningful moment. The way Jimin shared this intimate act with us shows his genuine heart and his desire to make Jungkook feel celebrated. By encouraging everyone to wish Jungkook and emphasizing how special the day was Jimin didnt just highlight Jungkook's importance to him but also invited us all to cherish and celebrate him together. Its heartwarming to see how much love and admiration Jimin has for Jungkook and the way he cherishes him and makes him feel loved and cared for. Such a gesture is not just thoughtful, its deeply heartfelt and unforgettable.

This level of care and thoughtfulness reminds us why their love is so special. These meaningful acts show how deeply they understand and appreciate one another. Moments like these reaffirm the beauty of their genuine connection and Jimin's gesture will undoubtedly be remembered as a testament to the love and affection he holds for Jungkook.

This gesture wasn't about material gifts or grand displays it was about something much deeper. It was about making Jungkook feel seen, valued and loved on his special day.

Jimin's action was also about the importance of cherishing the person he loves and cares about and taking time to highlight the importance of Jungkook's presence in his life.

This was more than a gesture. It was a timeless expression of gratitude, love and affection and their beautiful connection.

Thanks so much for this ask.

Have a nice day, Anon 👋🏻

[thurstydiaz]

Chris is laughing because, well, what else can he do.

He was pretty calm when Eddie moved to El Paso, all things considered. Abeulo told him theres a big difference between being 13 and being 14, like this piece of your brain unlocks and you learn to think all over again. It's like, yeah, theres this new shelf somewhere in his brain. He can feel these thoughts now - hes been able to do that this whole time, he thinks, but with that new shelf in his brain he can see that both I'm just a kid and I've dealt with so much in my life its irrevocably changed the way I interact with the world. Nothings really just a shrug anymore, even when he tries.

Just a week ago he watched Lego Ninjago with tía Sophia's toddler and it's like his brain pulled out all his knowledge up to that point of the series and he genuinely thought to himself: "are these filler episodes?" On his cartoon? Filler? And there it found itself, sat on that new shelf - this thought - that suddenly this episode could be taken out of the show completely and the final battle would still be breathtaking and the story to get there unfettered. The next episode feels much the same and Chris disengages, nearly hysteric, as Lloyd the ninjago pauses his, up to this point incredible, character development to do a sick kick flip on a dodgeball court. He does another, then runs off the screen and does one more move then ends with a knowing wink to Chris as he slides his little Lego body on that new shelf.

So, his dad showing up and staying in a nice Airbnb - done. Not even on the shelf.

He misses him, objectively, lovingly. Its tense because, duh, but Eddie takes him to the lake and shopping and introduces him to a bbq place that Abeulo said was a total tourist trap. It's delicious, a total trap, and Chris walks away with a Polaroid of them both smudged with sauce and beaming through their ruined bibs. That sits on a shelf on his wall next to a discarded pair of swim goggles. Sometimes its turned down, when his stomach tears in knots and he finds himself unable to picture Eddie without a clouded storm of his dead mother over his shoulders.

Eddie staying for more than a quick trip - fine. He's a grown man, he can do what he wants. Chris isnt grown but Eddie let's him do what he wants. Odd. But oh well. He can see how his dad is so nervous to tell him, the way his shoulders tense and his back is stick straight even in these funny wooden chairs his family's passed on for generations, how he keeps flicking his eyes to the doorway where his grandma is definitely snooping on the other side.

That's the first shelf thought he dares to filed away under Dad. Eddie's not only nervous in front of him, his son, who he's let flee. Hes nervous in front of his parents. His mother. Who he fled from. Is this where he sat when he told them about Chris? Did he twist his fingers the same way - was his back this tense before the army changed him - was Shannon there? Theres a picture somewhere of his parents at this table, exhaustion evident in their figures, with Chris on a little bouncer on the table between them. Did she like this table? These chairs?

Eddie tells him "I'm here, mijo. I cant - I wo - I'm here. I love you too much to miss you, Chris." And theres Eddie, again, filed firmly on that shelf next to the child version of himself who's dreading telling his secrets. Chris can't articulate it well. Instead, he swallows the lump in his throat and nods his head and ducks away when he gets the chance. Voices fill the space he's abandoned and he hears his grandmother's voice grow shrill and he can envision his dad still tense in that chair and he files that away too. Some shelves have shelves, he finds.

Eddie's place is nice, even though he lied about his stay at first. Theres a dip in the shutters on the west facing wall and a few gaps where the caulk wasnt applied properly on the window seals and theres a drawer in the kitchen that pops put from behind the island and doesnt close properly. Both bathrooms have walk in showers and Eddie shows him these minuscule divots in the hallway where the previous owner had rails installed, removed, and covered with cheap spackle. "In case, you know, we ever need it," he says with far less nerves than Chris expected. Files that thought on the shelf. He intends to stay in El Paso.

Not ideal. El Paso is - temporary. Knew that going in. Acts on that even when he's having the time of his life with the vaguely rebellious teens from his new social circles. No plans for the summer under his watch, no sir. Hes got comraderie in chess club with this girl with green hair who's an orphan because I live with my grandparents too, it's kinda lame, isnt it? She invited him to her birthday, tentatively planned for some safari a 30 minute drive away at the end of April, and when he tells her he should be home by that time her face twists up in a familiar manner. Can see her file that information away on a shelf of her own.

So - look - he sees it all in a new light, is what hes saying. His grandparents arent hovering they're worried. Hes not just a kid who's experienced trauma hes a person with life experience some people couldnt find in their nightmares. His dads not difficult hes complex. Hes got layers.

That version of his mother he saw that night wasnt a ghost. Shannon's more than that, and so was she. He cant imagine why she was there, why she looked like a ghost, but some adults cant explain why they choose the everyday things they do - he cant expect either parties involved to sit with him and tell him with clarity why that evening was happening in the first place.

And that thought, it's not - filed away, per say, but it stops guiding his actions. He stops wishing he had an answer the more Eddie picks him up from school, stops pulling that want to understanding off the shelf to admire when he finds Eddie's face in the crowd at chess club. They play among us one night with his cousins and he doesnt even consider using yeah well you abandoned me emotionally as a retort when Eddie (rightfully) calls Chris sus for killing while lights are off. His little alien flies into the vast abyss, unbothered.

Inhibitions, released. Maybe he can learn a thing or two from that silly little alien.

And today - oh, today. Today he's roped his bisabeula into making lasagna. Its not as good as Bucks, another thought hes found on that shelf, but it reminds him of that loft and the LA air and what it's like to stick his hand out of the window to flow with the air during that short drive over. Bisabeula's house is small, two rooms the size of closets decked out with different themed blankets for each great grandkid opposite her own tiny master and a shed out back housing all her prized heirlooms to pass down one day. Last time they were all here, Eddie dug out a rocking horse for tía Sophia's aforementioned toddler.

Eddie's probably hungry. Yeah. And he'd love a reminder of LA.

Bisabeula folds easily, drives him over with a happy little grin on her face, and she idly carresses her course chin hairs - whiskers! his abuela scolds - as she tells him she's got a bridge meeting she forgot about so you'll have to take this in, and I'm sure your dad can take you home later.

Yeah, he wont wait up.

He puts the bag with the casserole dish on the swing on the porch and waves her away as he digs for the spare key in his pockets. No keyring, he just - carries it, totally normally.

Opens the door, finally, and -

Thing is, no quick abandonment on either of their ends. They promised.

So instead of fleeing, Eddie stands. Frozen. Instead of fleeing, slamming the door and therefore all the effort that's brought them here, Chris gapes.

The guy standing behind Eddie, though, arms circling his dad's chest and head buried in his neck - he seems to not get the message. His hold squeezes his father and Chris can see one of his legs between the pair in front. Theres low music playing from somewhere, a Spanish tune he recognizes from his abuelo's shows, and the guy is trying to sway with it. That must be what pulls his focus to the rest of the room, when his head dips a little lower on Eddie's clavicle and he finds the man under his arms stock still and he chuckles, deep but still finding it's way to Chris across the room. "Not giving up now, are you?" He says and then finally comes up for air and flings himself from Eddie's back.

Its quiet, the confusion, even through the hasty movements as the guy - taller than the archway behind them, curly hair cropped tight to his head and decked out in dressed-down business casual - scrambles away from Eddie and gathers his things from the coffee table. He says something and Eddie idles like he has a response but cant form the words. Chris's hold on a crutch wanes a little.

Eddie snaps out of it first - expected - because hes got this guy that's obviously trying not to get too close to either of them as he flaps his hand and babbles to the both of them what Chris can only imagine is an excuse to make this all fade away. Hes mentioning something about Church of all things when Eddie finally pulls his eyes from Chris, flushes even further, and tells the guy to "go out the back. I'll uh - I'll talk to you later."

The guy disappears out the back. The change in pressure makes the front door bounce on its hinges, knocks into Chris's crutch.

The shelf is not stable. In fact, Chris thinks this shelf in particular, housing all things Edmundo Diaz, firefighter, father, has completely vanished. Spilled all these thoughts and ruminations on the floor like a spilled lasagna. He cant stop a giggle. "So this is what we do now?"

Eddie's voice is hoarse. "Chris - I -"

Chris brushes him off, pushes into the house with pointed clicks and clacks on his way to the dining table. "Theres lasagna on the porch." He slides into a seat and shucks off his crutches and turns to find Eddie still there, looking towards the front door. Rolls his eyes. "Its not as good as Buck's but bisabeula made it so you cant tell her that."

That knocks Eddie back to life, for some reason. He retrieves the lasagna, plates up two servings, slides them in the microwave and taps his finger on the counter as he watches them dance around each other inside. Stops every few seconds, takes a breath, and doesnt turn to check that Chris is still there. When they're done the beeping cuts through the room like a bullet and Eddie takes it like a champ, bleeds out as he sets the plates and forks and cans of coke on the table between them.

His back is tense and his face is pinched and his cheeks are red and Chris knows that he wishes he could run right now. It reminds him of when he read his moms letter about why she abandoned him. Sometimes you have to love from far away. They both know how to do that.

God but hes tired of the action.

"I'm not mad at you."

"You should be."

Chris scoffs. "Of all the things I can be mad at you for, this doesnt even tip the scales." That's kind of a lie.

Theres a piece of Edmundo Diaz, father spilled onto the floor that catches his eyes. Eddie on one side, Buck on the other, Chris in the middle miserably losing a round on Mario Party. Eddie's chuckling, his arm is extended behind Chris. Not on his shoulder. Bucks couch doesnt have a high back. Wheres his hand?

"That's - um - okay. Good?"

Chris shrugs. "Its not Buck's but it's alright."

"Mijo." Eddie says it like a prayer. He prays now, sort of. He goes to the church with bisabeula and lights those tall candles around the house. Tía Addie pulled him to the table during a round of bullshit and Eddie went easily, signed the cross when he was given a hand and reminded everyone with a shaky breath that hes not competitive. Total crock of shit. He doesnt know the specifics but he remembers Eddie coming home with all those steaks that one time. Buck cooked them - Eddie was only allowed to sear them. Inside. Supervised. Beaming like he'd caught a golden goose.

"You're into guys, dad, it's not, like, prohibition times anymore. It's fine." Chris takes a long drink from his coke. "Just dont be surprised if I never use the front door again."

Eddie chuckles, rye, and pokes his hunk of lasagna. Tries but fails to look at Chris.

Edmundo Diaz, firefighter. Chris started doing laundry a couple years back, strictly one load a week. Dad caught him rewearing underwear because he had to do two loads, once, and decided he'd never live a life where he needed that again. Small closet, comfy clothes, nothing more. Dad had a small closet but still did laundry every day, rain or shine, on account of the smokey smell. Even when he was at dispatch. He said it lingered.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you, Chris. You deserve - "

"Can we not - "

They both fall silent.

"No." Eddie finally says. "The two of us, kid, we're better than that. I'm sorry I haven't - that I. I trust you, Chris, so much. You're so grown up and somehow you're so well adjusted and I - huh - I am doing my best to be better for both of us. So you can keep being, dios, such a kind, smart, amazing guy. And I can be someone that you trust, too."

He used to just say "You and me then everyone else." That phrase comes to him, shuffles on a shelf that does exist, then settles in the air.

"I should have told you... it was never my intention for this to happen, Chris, god. If you want to get rid of your key you can."

And that's - firefighter, who holds him tight at the end of a long shift. Wakes him up to fried eggs and crispy bacon and sugary mini waffles and still floats through the house like a zombie through it all. Huh.

"I don't want to leave you over this, dad." He runs away once, jeez.

This is all familiar, in ways it's not. His shirt is similar. Chris is ganglier, hangs his body differently, thinks more profoundly. Eddie's none of those - has a solid presence that saves lives, one that used to wrestle with him against his grandparent's wishes and hovered when they tested crutches. Has that stability in him that Chris used to cling to the moment he was home from school and found his father there, ready and waiting. Breathing. Alive. Dumb as a bag of rocks, bless him.

Okay, this is enough.

"Just... can we go home already."

Eddie takes a deep breath. "You just said you didn't want to leave."

"Not!" Chris grasps at his hair, clenching and unclenching. "Not you, dad. Not back to my abuelos and not to bisabeulas, or to tìas or Buck's or the park or where-freakin-ever! I want us to go home." He punctuates the end syllable by syllable, pounding an open palm on the table.

"You - ok, yeah. Yeah. If you're sure. We can start moving some things in, maybe get -"

"This isn't home, dad, this is a shell of a house." His voice echoes in the room.

"This is where I live now, Chris. This is home."

"No it's not."

It's a challenge. They both hear it. Good ole Diaz genes and all.

Eddie's lasagna is pulled apart like hes doing open heart surgery on that table. Chris finished his, somewhere along the line, and their forks are sat in mirroring positions against their plates. If he looks to the left - oh, right. Buck's not there. He's usually already up by this point, to be honest, offering Chris another helping. Hes not at the fridge either. It's still so odd.

Eddie follows his eyes and swallows something.

"I want to go home too, mijo."

"Can we? Please?" Eddie tears up. Doesnt look away. "Dad, please take me home."

Its quick, after that. He's quick - quicker to show and accept affection, quicker to use his words and explain himself coherently and catch onto those looks the adults around him share when they think he's an invalid or something. Its quick and easy saying bye to his friends and its quick when he tells his abuela he's going home and hes quick when he tells abuelo that yes, I'm certain this is what I want and no, dont get rid of my room and hey, maybe we'll be back for a visit this summer. He's still using his old duffle and hes quick to separate his clothes and his El Paso clothes. He hasnt grown that much. Hes not - without.

Dad's slower, but not in opposition to him. His house was barely unpacked so he doesnt need to rush. He calls Bobby just a day later and hes got the job before he's even asked, finishes the call behind watery eyes and in a different room. Buck sent him down with some kitchen gadgets he never used so he has his sisters over to take them away. They drink wine and bicker over a bread maker and say things like shame you're on your way out now that I kinda like you and now everyone in my book club has a gay brother in LA and dont forget us again.

They're almost back to LA and somewhere on the road, Chris finds that those pieces of Edmundo Diaz, firefighter, father are still scattered everywhere.

His dad is right here, though.

[fascinationstreetmp3]

I have what you're looking for. High quality. Befitting a man of my tastes. I have a room over on Divisadero, not too far a walk.

[ghost-of-morrowbright]

Thank you for your original post and thoughtful replies that I've been wanting to respond to.

Yes, absolutely agreed on Elrond not understanding Galadriel's articulation of her experiences of trauma and PTSD. I had forgotten Elrond's "wine of victory" line; that's such a great observation of his cluelessness. Because I absolutely agree that it's not that he doesn't care for her or her experience, but that he doesn't quite understand the trauma of war in the sense of having to participate in and witness so much death. There's also this great exchange. Even though she is specifies "evil", I think the more general ideas of violence or trauma could substitute and it would work just as well:

"After all you have endured, it is only natural to feel conflicted." "Conflicted? I am grateful you have not known evil as I have. But you have not seen what I have seen." "I have seen my share." "You have not seen what I have seen."

Have you seen the Rings and Realms interview with Benjamin Walker? I imagine you've likely already seen it, but if you haven't, I'd highly recommend it. He starts talking about Gil-galad's sense of what's coming down the pike at about the 13 minute mark, but the whole interview is great and adds quite a bit of insight into how he interprets the character.

I love both of your two possible questions of what he may be thinking, each both equally heartbreaking.

"Did I push him too fast and he's just not ready yet, so we'll do this differently for the War Against the Elves?"

"Or did I push too fast because I need him to be confident to lead us into battle without me, but I can't tell him that."

Gil-galad has been so much of a cipher until this battle. My thinking is that he may be dealing with his own form of PTSD, even if it is not something we have been shown. Certainly he has also seen his share of evil, violence, trauma and war. So, at risk of repeating myself and you, it will be interesting to see how his relationship with Elrond will continue to grow in the coming seasons.

I was to going to reference (and then reply to) @tvgirlsays' recent post about Elrond as healer, but it seems their blog has been deactivated. Hopefully they will return at some point, because I really liked their insights too. I am wondering if we are going to get some "wounded healer" motifs with Elrond as he founds Imladris. My memories on the details of the conversation between Arondir and Bronwyn are a bit hazy, but I am wondering if the show will revisit the theme of beauty as a means of encouraging elven self-healing.

Anyways thank you again for all your insights and letting me ramble on. I apologize for the delays in replying--I have issues with brain fog and word finding difficulty, so sometimes it takes longer to reply to wonderfully thinky posts like these.

Gil-galad sees Elrond showing legit signs of shock on the field in Eregion.

And I think Gil-galad is about to have more than one feeling about it.

Gil-galad gave Elrond command on the field in Ost-in-Edhel -- fully gave him command of all troops on the field. Elrond led their charge (Gil was right there beside him with an encouraging face, like "you call it, son, whenever you're ready, we go." Gil-galad pulled back during that charge, along with all other troops, at Elrond's command. Elrond was also the commander on the field who negotiated with Adar, general to general - Gil-galad was not involved, was not consulted on that conversation. I get no sense from show-universe that Elrond commanded large groups of troops before he led here. In fact, Adar calls out Elrond's lack of experience — though Adar notes he talks a good game.

This was Elrond’s show because Gil-galad asked him to run it. Promoted him to be there and lead at least 500 elves to battle.

And THIS is the exact moment that Gil-galad starts to see signs of Elrond's potential or growing PTSD*:

"Oh....oh, ope, yep, he's down. Yeah, no, buddy is down. Okay. Stay there, lil dude. Fuckin' Form Ranks, I guess, all twenty of you still mentally with me, let's ball YOLO (sorta)."

Yes, Elrond absolutely can swing a sword like a tank and led effectively and got it done, but that doesn't mean it's who he is and that it won't affect him. Gladriel talks about the sound of singing mocking the battle cries in her ears.

How easily can Elrond live with the choices he had to make that killed many, many elves who entrusted their fates to him? THAT was what broke him on the field, before they were captured or ever walked into the courtyard.

So...how easily will Gil-galad handle this additional pain he may have helped cause in this young man he loves?

*clarification: As someone with diagnosed, active PTSD under treatment, I’m not using the term lightly. Disclaimers of all kinds, as some have come into my blog before and oh-so-helpfully explained to me why I should not speak of my own diagnosis in certain terms. Well, Jan, it might not be the terms y’all use over there, but over here? When we see dissociation, we call it out as a flag. I’m the one with dreams so vivid I’m afraid to go to sleep. For fuck’s sake, Jan.

[meraki-yao]

RWRB Bloopers: A fucking list on the neck kissing scene because what the fuck

Incoherent ramblings of the neck kissing scene in the bloopers because I've gone to sleep, woke up, and I'm still insane over this

This is a scene. Not a shot. It's a fucking SCENE. It could be 2 minutes for all we know. What the fuck.

Alex/Taylor's wearing the same outfit as he did on the plane from Paris back To the US. (blazer, purple-grey shirt, no tie)

Henry/Nick's in a fucking bathrobe.

This looks like the Paris hotel room, and it looks like morning

This looks like they're starting something: Henry/Nick's in the process of being lowered onto the bed

Neck kisses, enough said, I want to cry

Is this the shot or B roll? It's kind of a weird angle to shoot such a scene? Or is that just me?

Again where the fuck was this scene gonna go? Make out? Morning sex? Alex is fully dressed though? The fuck?

The way Alex/Taylor's fulling covers Henry/Nick makes me weak

I love kissing bloopers so much

This makes the "you're such a cretin" scene look more improvised and natural???

This blooper would work in character!!! Obviously it's Taylor and Nick but it would also be something Alex and Henry would do!!!

Again I just fucking love how they're comfortable enough with each other to make jokes like this it's so fucking sweet

This is what Taylor talked about in the GQ interview, isn't it? "One of us would say something stupid"

I can't stop thinking WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SCENE. WHAT THE FUCK IS IT. AND HOW MANY MORE DELETED SCENES ARE THERE THAT WE DON'T EVEN KNOW EXISTED

PRIME COME ON, RELEASE THEM ALL, OR PROMISE YOU'LL RELEASE THEM DOWN THE LINE, OR BETTER YET PUT EVERYTHING INTO A DVD PLEASE I'M BEGGING YOU

[knickynoo]

Two of my favorite little scenes from BTTF part II are the moments where Marty stops to watch his parents in 1955. I mean, he was only just there living through those events one day prior, but he didn't actually have a chance to soak any of it in or process it. (He'd come flailing into the parking lot just after George punched Biff but hardly had time to appreciate any of it on account of his picture still fading, and then at the dance, he was. You know. Actively being erased from existence up there on stage for a while.)

Even though the stakes are still unbelievably high when he returns to '55 to try to track down the almanac, and he's just experienced what may be the most stressful and terrifying day of his life with all the 1985A nonsense, he makes it a point to slow down enough to watch his parents at the dance. And there's just this look on his face—a mixture of awe and relief and happiness. You can tell. You can tell this is getting permanently etched into Marty's memory. He's taking in every detail. He's holding tightly to these sweet moments of watching his parents (who had been unhappily married most of or all of his life) FALL IN LOVE. A real, true love that he's never had a chance to see them in before.

Not to mention the fact that in the reality he'd just arrived from, his mother had been forced into marriage with Biff, and his father was dead. Marty's just come from a place where his family had been completely destroyed, and now he's watching the very foundation of it coming together. This is the beginning of it all, and it's a reminder of what he's trying so hard to save and get back to.

And it's so very nice that we see him hitting the pause button for a few seconds in this chaos-fest to look at his mom and dad with such love.

[donut-entendre]

I say a lot that Wash isn't empathetic when talking about people giving him Carolina's personality, but I don't think that really explains my thinking. Empathy is too vague of a concept in discussion of character.

Wash cares a lot about people. Wash cares so much it hurts. He trains the Chorusans without being asked, on his own initiative. He doesn't leave the reds and blues at the first sign of trouble. He's traumatized by violence by his own hand that he still agrees with the logic of, he remembers what he's done to people and while he doesn't regret it, it still haunts him. He doesn't want to care so bad but he does, he cares so much that violence against relative strangers hurts. Even if it was his best choice. Even if it was his only choice.

Carolina doesn't want people to know violence like she does. Carolina wants to tackle the whole world to keep it away from the ones she loves. Carolina wants to be the one to handle everything, to keep war off the doorstep.

Washington knows violence, and well. He thinks it is something that sometimes is the best option. He knows how to make the people he loves capable of protecting themselves. So he does.

Carolina is someone who wants to protect. Washington is someone who wants to teach people to protect themselves. Carolina wants to be the one to offer shelter in the rain. Washington wants to burn the fire so hot and so bright the rain evaporates before it can ever touch them, so hot it never even comes down, so bright no one could ever get lost. And he wants to teach everyone he cares for just how to do it, too.

Just in case it ever rains.

[wiedzm1n]

you know when you come across a cool character and you're like "man, they would be pretty fun to write" but then the character is also really, really smart and ur like ...2+2=35??? or is that just me

[dawdlecentric]

Man, this doujin isn't fucking around

Meanwhile, Seikuri in the background...

Doujin: Flashbackers by Totobe

[david-watts]

I'm fragile at the moment. like those times people have dipped flowers into liquid nitrogen. have you seen how easily those frozen petals shatter

[ghostofthepresent]

never trusting anybody ever again. what do you Mean dance song.

[scramble-crossing]

no please tell us your joshua thoughts i insist

You’ve hit me at a crucial moment of procrastination and utter dread. ON HIS BIRTHDAY.  Ideal circumstance to talk about Joshua.

Right off the bat though I’ve gotta say that a lot of this is probably not the most canon-adherent stuff and also only Josh-adjacent in some cases since I tend to focus on how he relates to other characters + the series’ worldbuilding over his actual self-contained character. I like him and all I just have the most fun using him as a narrative tool for the characters I like a little more ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

First of all, I usually put Joshua as having died and become Composer sometime between 1900-1920 following a near-and-dear headcanon that Kariya became a Reaper during the cultural shift of the 1920s with the advent of the salaryman lifestyle-if you’re going to sell your soul for guaranteed work it might as well come with the perk of being able to spend most of your existence lazing around the city instead of being boxed up in some itty-bitty cubical.

However this is mostly based on the assumption that Joshua predates all of the Shibuya Reapers. Otherwise they would recognize him, right? In opposition to this I really really love the headcanon that all trace of a person’s existence is erased from both the RG and UG upon becoming Composer (or any position higher than Conductor). In that case I think it’d be fun if Joshua came shortly after Kariya. They knew each other at some point.

^When Kariya confronted him and Neku in W2 Josh had a brief moment of “Holy shit does he remember me?” before Kari said he was alive and he got the biggest, shit-eatingest grin on his face. Yippiiiiie!!! Oily Josh has wriggled his way out of consequences once again!!!!

(Kariya is aware that there was a change in Composer sometime during his run as a Reaper. He sensed the city shift with it. The way it sings now, it’s almost…familiar? He doesn’t think about it too deeply, it saddens him a bit if he does)

Speaking of Josh & Friends, @starocide has a ton of very very fun ideas about Joshua and Coco being partners during their Reaper’s Game and it being the connection mentioned in That One Interview. That’s gonna be a whole separate essay one day, suffice to say for now that the Joshua from A New Day was reminiscent of the person he used to be, but twisted by Coco into a mocking caricature of himself.

(Coco doesn’t remember him, but she knows who he is. Joshua remembers her perfectly, but it doesn’t matter anymore.)

The Toxic Shithead Squad continues with Minamimoto. I have a LOT of thoughts about Joshua and Minamimoto.

By far the most interesting thing about W2 for me is just how much Joshua talks about Mina. Not just talks about, describes. He’s a math fetishist (rude) he’s an attention-seeker (rude…but fair) he’s the magic word I’ve been thinking about for the past two years: lonely. I think it’s incredibly interesting how many judgments of character Joshua makes about this guy despite the fact that we’re given no inclination to treat him as some sort of cat-whisperer or someone who’s in a position to understand Minamimoto at all. For the pure intrigue of it I like to see a lot of these calls as being accurate (idc if it’s cliche or corny, imply to me that Sho, somewhere in his heart of hearts, craves companionship and I will eat that shit up) but I also think that it’s equally interesting to question why Josh’s making these calls in the first place. Where's this stuff coming from? Why does he keep acting like he knows exactly what he's thinking?

I think Joshua sees a lot of himself in Minamimoto. Here’s a kid who’s deeply dissatisfied with the world around him, someone who thinks so little of other people that he, in his arrogance, is willing to reject every different thought, opinion, and action, shunning the people around him, treating them as little more than bugs he’s willing to step on in his all-consuming quest for the power to make something better than before: the world as it ends with him. Minamimoto isn’t just pursuing Joshua, he’s following his every footstep. Joshua sees this, recognizes it (though maybe not consciously) so that when he erases him he isn’t ridding himself of a potential threat or batting away this annoying little gnat that keeps interfering with his plans, symbolically he’s destroying himself. And if anything, isn’t that an act of mercy? Wouldn’t it be better to be dead than to waste away on his throne, watching a world he no longer recognizes slowly pass him by? Isn’t that what he wanted all along?

I think Joshua's story ended perfectly with twewy. I don't think there was anything left unresolved about it, and frankly I'm glad he barely had anything to do with the plot of neo. He made his choice. Was it the wrong one? Was there ever another option? Did he ever have a chance? Who knows! He's a walking worst-case-scenario and I love seeing how detached and apathetic he's become in neo, how he never let himself connect with Neku even though he gave him the chance (which was so, so much more than Joshua could ever have asked for), how Neku doesn't even seem to trust him anymore, how he's become little more than an anecdote in his life and the lives of is friends, a passing comment, a joke, a distant, sour memory. It's fantastic. I love Hachiko gang. I love fan content where they're all friends and Josh is this cryptic little sillyguy who has fun pushing all their buttons but is deeply unequivocally loved at the end of it all, but I hope that never happens in canon. I hope he stays a tragedy.

Happy birthday you little freak <3

[nebulousfishgills]

BROTHER YOU CAN'T DO THIS TO ME I'M IN DISTRESS

[wundrousarts]

What is your favourite thing about nevermoor (series)?

Omg this is suuuuuch a hard question for me to answer!!! I love basically every aspect of the series, from the characters and their dynamics, to the settings, to the story...... idk if I can truly give One Singular Answer to this because I love it all! There's something truly special with the series that really makes it resonate with me and has kept me glued to it for almost 5 years and will keep me into it for many more.

IF I had to choose One Thing to answer this....... I would probably say the lore of the series and the magic and the way that the worldbuilding relates to those and fleshes out the world, giving it a history that makes Nevermoor (the city and the series) feel full of so much depth. You really get a sense that things, both big and small, happened in the past that affect the present day, and that things in the present day will have an effect on the future. It makes it fascinating to think about how the world was Pre-Massacre, and how things have changed in the last 100 years since then, and why things were the way they were and are the way they are now! I love thinking about Wundersmiths and their role in society and their rise and eventual downfall!!! Ahhhh!!!!! There's just so much I could say.

I just love everything about the worldbuilding and the lore and in-world history Jess has created. You can tell as you read that literally every aspect of the world has so much thought behind it that probably only exists inside Jess's head, but it oozes through the pages anyways and makes the world seem so full of life. I swear once she mentioned possibly releasing some sort of “rule book” / notebook companion book sort thing that explains a lot of behind the scenes lore and how the world and everything works, why stuff is the way it is, etc. after the series and I hope that happens because I can't stop thinking about it.

A silly comparison: I don't really know how to explain it to those unfamiliar with the 2000s guide books, but the worldbuilding of Nevermoor kinda reminds me of the worldbuilding of Uglydolls (no relation to the terrible 2019 movie) and I think maybe that’s partially why I love it so much lmao. Everything was so wacky and weird yet somehow it made sense. I remember reading the books and looking at the spreads of the city or the pictures of the weird vehicles and thinking about where I'd like to go and what I'd do if I lived in that universe LOL. It just felt full of life and for some reason reading Nevermoor reminds me of reading those as a kid.

Also: I've said this before (but maybe not on here?) that I credit a big part of why I'm SO into Nevermoor to the fact that I discovered it like a month or so before Adventure Time ended. I was a HUGE fan of the show (always will be!) and was really into analyzing it and theorizing about it and knew so much about it. I read Nevermoor independent of that, but I think the fact that Wundersmith releasing like a month or two after Adventure Time ended and it being the first new interest I had had in awhile just made my brain "transfer over" as I like to say. The energy I bring to overanalyzing and theorizing about Nevermoor stuff comes directly from how I was when Adventure Time was still airing.

Fun fact: My media overanalyzing led to me correctly guessing how Adventure Time would end, and I am eager to try and do the same with Nevermoor as the series continues.

[daisydisciple]

People usually seem to mean something about service/giving when they talk about "the Christmas Spirit" but I think to me the primary characteristic feature of Christmas as a holiday is the spirit of anticipation.

That's like the whole point of the concept of advent, for one thing. In a way, we are honoring and embodying the anticipation of all who lived before Christ's coming and looked ahead to their redemption, "speaking of things to come as though they had already come," who looked forward with the eye of faith and prophecy. "The people that walked in darkness have seen a great light: they that dwell in the land of the shadow of death, upon them hath the light shined" wrote Isaiah, centuries before Christ's birth. They borrowed joy from the future, and we, in turn, borrow joy and anticipation from the past.

Whatever time of year Jesus was actually born, I do appreciate the symbolism of celebrating his coming shortly after the winter solstice—the greatest darkness has passed, and more light is yet to come. (And my southern hemisphere friends can enjoy basking in the most light the year has to offer—fitting in its own way). We superimpose the overarching narrative of mankind's redemption onto the smaller repeating seasons of our present lives, interpreting the unknown to the familiar. We celebrate the gifts of Christ in our personal, mundane little lives—service, forgiveness, charity, community, reconciliation, love. We fill the darkness with light in His honor.

And celebrating the past joy and anticipation of Christ's historical coming, along with our present holiday joy and anticipation also leads us to look forward to the future joys that will be ours because of Him. Some of my favorite Christmas carols are the ones that emphasize this: Jesus was "born that man no more may die," "to raise the sons of earth," "to give them second birth." "In His name all oppression shall cease." It isn't just that he was born—everyone that ever lived was born. We are celebrating everything that did and does and will happen because of his life and atonement and death and resurrection, including the things that haven't even happened yet. The great story of mankind's liberation from death and reconciliation with God isn't even over yet.

And so just like those of old who looked forward to Christ's coming, we today are also in a state of anticipation: that He will come again, that all of God's promises will be fulfilled, that we will live again with God in a state of glory. And so we, too, borrow joy from the future. "We talk of Christ, we rejoice in Christ, we preach of Christ, we prophesy of Christ."

As Christians, it is our right and our duty to embrace every joy—that of the past, that of the present, and that of the future. And that's what Christmas is about to me, ultimately.