#what are thoughts i can't even articulate

[fascinationstreetmp3]

I have what you're looking for. High quality. Befitting a man of my tastes. I have a room over on Divisadero, not too far a walk.

[meraki-yao]

RWRB Bloopers: A fucking list on the neck kissing scene because what the fuck

Incoherent ramblings of the neck kissing scene in the bloopers because I've gone to sleep, woke up, and I'm still insane over this

This is a scene. Not a shot. It's a fucking SCENE. It could be 2 minutes for all we know. What the fuck.

Alex/Taylor's wearing the same outfit as he did on the plane from Paris back To the US. (blazer, purple-grey shirt, no tie)

Henry/Nick's in a fucking bathrobe.

This looks like the Paris hotel room, and it looks like morning

This looks like they're starting something: Henry/Nick's in the process of being lowered onto the bed

Neck kisses, enough said, I want to cry

Is this the shot or B roll? It's kind of a weird angle to shoot such a scene? Or is that just me?

Again where the fuck was this scene gonna go? Make out? Morning sex? Alex is fully dressed though? The fuck?

The way Alex/Taylor's fulling covers Henry/Nick makes me weak

I love kissing bloopers so much

This makes the "you're such a cretin" scene look more improvised and natural???

This blooper would work in character!!! Obviously it's Taylor and Nick but it would also be something Alex and Henry would do!!!

Again I just fucking love how they're comfortable enough with each other to make jokes like this it's so fucking sweet

This is what Taylor talked about in the GQ interview, isn't it? "One of us would say something stupid"

I can't stop thinking WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SCENE. WHAT THE FUCK IS IT. AND HOW MANY MORE DELETED SCENES ARE THERE THAT WE DON'T EVEN KNOW EXISTED

PRIME COME ON, RELEASE THEM ALL, OR PROMISE YOU'LL RELEASE THEM DOWN THE LINE, OR BETTER YET PUT EVERYTHING INTO A DVD PLEASE I'M BEGGING YOU

[knickynoo]

Two of my favorite little scenes from BTTF part II are the moments where Marty stops to watch his parents in 1955. I mean, he was only just there living through those events one day prior, but he didn't actually have a chance to soak any of it in or process it. (He'd come flailing into the parking lot just after George punched Biff but hardly had time to appreciate any of it on account of his picture still fading, and then at the dance, he was. You know. Actively being erased from existence up there on stage for a while.)

Even though the stakes are still unbelievably high when he returns to '55 to try to track down the almanac, and he's just experienced what may be the most stressful and terrifying day of his life with all the 1985A nonsense, he makes it a point to slow down enough to watch his parents at the dance. And there's just this look on his face—a mixture of awe and relief and happiness. You can tell. You can tell this is getting permanently etched into Marty's memory. He's taking in every detail. He's holding tightly to these sweet moments of watching his parents (who had been unhappily married most of or all of his life) FALL IN LOVE. A real, true love that he's never had a chance to see them in before.

Not to mention the fact that in the reality he'd just arrived from, his mother had been forced into marriage with Biff, and his father was dead. Marty's just come from a place where his family had been completely destroyed, and now he's watching the very foundation of it coming together. This is the beginning of it all, and it's a reminder of what he's trying so hard to save and get back to.

And it's so very nice that we see him hitting the pause button for a few seconds in this chaos-fest to look at his mom and dad with such love.

[wiedzm1n]

you know when you come across a cool character and you're like "man, they would be pretty fun to write" but then the character is also really, really smart and ur like ...2+2=35??? or is that just me

[dawdlecentric]

Man, this doujin isn't fucking around

Meanwhile, Seikuri in the background...

Doujin: Flashbackers by Totobe

[ghostofthepresent]

never trusting anybody ever again. what do you Mean dance song.

[scramble-crossing]

no please tell us your joshua thoughts i insist

You’ve hit me at a crucial moment of procrastination and utter dread. ON HIS BIRTHDAY.  Ideal circumstance to talk about Joshua.

Right off the bat though I’ve gotta say that a lot of this is probably not the most canon-adherent stuff and also only Josh-adjacent in some cases since I tend to focus on how he relates to other characters + the series’ worldbuilding over his actual self-contained character. I like him and all I just have the most fun using him as a narrative tool for the characters I like a little more ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

First of all, I usually put Joshua as having died and become Composer sometime between 1900-1920 following a near-and-dear headcanon that Kariya became a Reaper during the cultural shift of the 1920s with the advent of the salaryman lifestyle-if you’re going to sell your soul for guaranteed work it might as well come with the perk of being able to spend most of your existence lazing around the city instead of being boxed up in some itty-bitty cubical.

However this is mostly based on the assumption that Joshua predates all of the Shibuya Reapers. Otherwise they would recognize him, right? In opposition to this I really really love the headcanon that all trace of a person’s existence is erased from both the RG and UG upon becoming Composer (or any position higher than Conductor). In that case I think it’d be fun if Joshua came shortly after Kariya. They knew each other at some point.

^When Kariya confronted him and Neku in W2 Josh had a brief moment of “Holy shit does he remember me?” before Kari said he was alive and he got the biggest, shit-eatingest grin on his face. Yippiiiiie!!! Oily Josh has wriggled his way out of consequences once again!!!!

(Kariya is aware that there was a change in Composer sometime during his run as a Reaper. He sensed the city shift with it. The way it sings now, it’s almost…familiar? He doesn’t think about it too deeply, it saddens him a bit if he does)

Speaking of Josh & Friends, @starocide has a ton of very very fun ideas about Joshua and Coco being partners during their Reaper’s Game and it being the connection mentioned in That One Interview. That’s gonna be a whole separate essay one day, suffice to say for now that the Joshua from A New Day was reminiscent of the person he used to be, but twisted by Coco into a mocking caricature of himself.

(Coco doesn’t remember him, but she knows who he is. Joshua remembers her perfectly, but it doesn’t matter anymore.)

The Toxic Shithead Squad continues with Minamimoto. I have a LOT of thoughts about Joshua and Minamimoto.

By far the most interesting thing about W2 for me is just how much Joshua talks about Mina. Not just talks about, describes. He’s a math fetishist (rude) he’s an attention-seeker (rude…but fair) he’s the magic word I’ve been thinking about for the past two years: lonely. I think it’s incredibly interesting how many judgments of character Joshua makes about this guy despite the fact that we’re given no inclination to treat him as some sort of cat-whisperer or someone who’s in a position to understand Minamimoto at all. For the pure intrigue of it I like to see a lot of these calls as being accurate (idc if it’s cliche or corny, imply to me that Sho, somewhere in his heart of hearts, craves companionship and I will eat that shit up) but I also think that it’s equally interesting to question why Josh’s making these calls in the first place. Where's this stuff coming from? Why does he keep acting like he knows exactly what he's thinking?

I think Joshua sees a lot of himself in Minamimoto. Here’s a kid who’s deeply dissatisfied with the world around him, someone who thinks so little of other people that he, in his arrogance, is willing to reject every different thought, opinion, and action, shunning the people around him, treating them as little more than bugs he’s willing to step on in his all-consuming quest for the power to make something better than before: the world as it ends with him. Minamimoto isn’t just pursuing Joshua, he’s following his every footstep. Joshua sees this, recognizes it (though maybe not consciously) so that when he erases him he isn’t ridding himself of a potential threat or batting away this annoying little gnat that keeps interfering with his plans, symbolically he’s destroying himself. And if anything, isn’t that an act of mercy? Wouldn’t it be better to be dead than to waste away on his throne, watching a world he no longer recognizes slowly pass him by? Isn’t that what he wanted all along?

I think Joshua's story ended perfectly with twewy. I don't think there was anything left unresolved about it, and frankly I'm glad he barely had anything to do with the plot of neo. He made his choice. Was it the wrong one? Was there ever another option? Did he ever have a chance? Who knows! He's a walking worst-case-scenario and I love seeing how detached and apathetic he's become in neo, how he never let himself connect with Neku even though he gave him the chance (which was so, so much more than Joshua could ever have asked for), how Neku doesn't even seem to trust him anymore, how he's become little more than an anecdote in his life and the lives of is friends, a passing comment, a joke, a distant, sour memory. It's fantastic. I love Hachiko gang. I love fan content where they're all friends and Josh is this cryptic little sillyguy who has fun pushing all their buttons but is deeply unequivocally loved at the end of it all, but I hope that never happens in canon. I hope he stays a tragedy.

Happy birthday you little freak <3

[nebulousfishgills]

BROTHER YOU CAN'T DO THIS TO ME I'M IN DISTRESS

[daisydisciple]

People usually seem to mean something about service/giving when they talk about "the Christmas Spirit" but I think to me the primary characteristic feature of Christmas as a holiday is the spirit of anticipation.

That's like the whole point of the concept of advent, for one thing. In a way, we are honoring and embodying the anticipation of all who lived before Christ's coming and looked ahead to their redemption, "speaking of things to come as though they had already come," who looked forward with the eye of faith and prophecy. "The people that walked in darkness have seen a great light: they that dwell in the land of the shadow of death, upon them hath the light shined" wrote Isaiah, centuries before Christ's birth. They borrowed joy from the future, and we, in turn, borrow joy and anticipation from the past.

Whatever time of year Jesus was actually born, I do appreciate the symbolism of celebrating his coming shortly after the winter solstice—the greatest darkness has passed, and more light is yet to come. (And my southern hemisphere friends can enjoy basking in the most light the year has to offer—fitting in its own way). We superimpose the overarching narrative of mankind's redemption onto the smaller repeating seasons of our present lives, interpreting the unknown to the familiar. We celebrate the gifts of Christ in our personal, mundane little lives—service, forgiveness, charity, community, reconciliation, love. We fill the darkness with light in His honor.

And celebrating the past joy and anticipation of Christ's historical coming, along with our present holiday joy and anticipation also leads us to look forward to the future joys that will be ours because of Him. Some of my favorite Christmas carols are the ones that emphasize this: Jesus was "born that man no more may die," "to raise the sons of earth," "to give them second birth." "In His name all oppression shall cease." It isn't just that he was born—everyone that ever lived was born. We are celebrating everything that did and does and will happen because of his life and atonement and death and resurrection, including the things that haven't even happened yet. The great story of mankind's liberation from death and reconciliation with God isn't even over yet.

And so just like those of old who looked forward to Christ's coming, we today are also in a state of anticipation: that He will come again, that all of God's promises will be fulfilled, that we will live again with God in a state of glory. And so we, too, borrow joy from the future. "We talk of Christ, we rejoice in Christ, we preach of Christ, we prophesy of Christ."

As Christians, it is our right and our duty to embrace every joy—that of the past, that of the present, and that of the future. And that's what Christmas is about to me, ultimately.

[morgana-pendragon]

can i verbalise a selfish thought for a moment. dont read the tags if thatll bother you or anything

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

[marshmellowtea]

not to be on my bullshit again but currently i am entertaining the thought of "incompetent egotistical businessman who think he's hot shit" ron x "younger assistant with a crush who's actually been carrying him the entire time they've been working together" henry

[the-many-children-of-the-void]

Woke up this morning with a very important thought rattling around in my head.

How do the cars in the 2006 Pixar masterpiece Cars... safely merge?

This is a question that requires analysis. It doesn't really matter for Lightning McQueen before the movie starts, as he explicitly spends all of his time either at the racetrack or inside Mack (the gay subtext of this is for another post), but if we imagine a normal, non-Piston Cup car, how in the blue hell do they merge?

It's flat-out stated during the "driving backwards" scene in the 2006 movie that cars can see their rearview mirrors. This is because, particularly for Mater's character design, his mirrors are always placed outside his field of vision. But the scene states that he must be able to use them, because the purpose of that scene is to set up Lightning driving backwards during the finale and to advance both of the characters, especially in bringing Lightning closer to Mater as a friend. Even with Mater's ability to articulate his side mirrors to a certain degree, he is never able to bend them forward enough to be able to cover his blindspot. Given where the cars eyes are fundamentally located, this leads me to the conclusion that these vehicles are capable of seeing out of their mirrors. While this raises terrifying questions about the structures of car anatomy, we're gonna completely ignore those implications in favor, instead of a minor question about driving on the highway.

Normally, when one is driving, they eliminate the problem of a blind spot by physically turning their head to look at it before they merge and physically see for themselves whether or not another vehicle occupies that space. But characters in Cars (2006) don't have an in-car mirror, so their blindspots should be the gap between the mirrors and their regular fields of view, and directly behind them.

This, of course, raises the question: if the world of Cars was designed and built for sentient cars, and they have such an obviously unsafe limitation, why is the world still designed in a way that would only be safe to humans who can physically turn their heads? That question, after what I can only describe as a bit of a fever dream, leads me to what I see as the only logical conclusion.

Cars can see out of their windows, too, but have evolved camouflage for those eyes so that their prey can't tell where they're looking.

[irisintheafterglow]

itoshi sae has no idea how you do it.

classwork, homework, midterms, exams, two jobs, and a lively group of friends? it all sounds so unnecessary to him, these things that would be distractions from his dream. but for you, it sustains you and encourages you to keep going. how differently our minds work, he thinks to himself when he has a rare day to spend on your couch and you're typing away at some assignment on your laptop.

"why do you do that?" you don't respond the first time he asks and he gently calls your name, even though you're barely three feet away. you turn to him with a tired look and something pangs inside his chest. "why bother doing that?"

"bother doing what?"

"whatever it is you're doing right now." he nods at your glaring laptop screen filled with words he can't even begin to understand, some final before your university goes on winter break.

"because it's part of my degree?" there's no malice in your words, just genuine confusion, just like there's no accusations in his words, just concern. "if i fail this class, i don't graduate."

"why do you need to graduate, or have a degree in the first place?"

"because i need a job, my love," you explain patiently. "we've had this conversation before. going to school means i can get a well-paying job to sustain myself."

"why do you need to sustain yourself when you have me?" you blink at him and his blank face. the only sign of emotion is the slight pinch between his eyebrows; he was truly puzzled why he couldn't just set you up for life. dating itoshi sae is like being an unwilling sugar baby.

"i'm not going to leech off your earnings," you chuckle in disbelief. "i'm not going to use you to make sure i have a comfortable life. i love you, and my kind of love stays whether we have money or not." he shifts awkwardly in his seat and his mouth pouts the tiniest amount. he obviously didn't like your reply.

"whatever i'm doing, it isn't enough for you," he states quietly.

without another word, you exhale through your nose and shut your laptop. you place it on the coffee table before crawling over and maneuvering your way into his arms. he gladly accepts you, sliding down the couch's armrest so that you're nearly lying on top of him. it's quiet for a few moments, not in an uncertain way but in a way that said both of you were figuring out how to articulate your thoughts.

"i just think that--"

"you don't need to--" you both begin your explanations at the same time and the huff of his laugh vibrates against your cheek. "you go first," you tell him.

"i was saying that, if you wanted me to," he inhales and tries to tiptoe around what he wants to say before deciding to just crush it with his foot, "i can take care of you without you needing a degree." a certain selfish part of him wanted you there for every single victory and ladder rung he ascended, not because he thought you owed him, but because he owed you. you, who weathered his darkest of moods and harshest of snaps. he owed you for dealing with his bullshit, so he figured, why should you need to lift a finger when you've already done so much for him? "i owe you that much for everything that you've seen me through."

"you don't owe me anything, itoshi sae. loving you is not transactional, nor have i ever wanted it to be."

"everything is transactional, mi amor," he argues and the pet name makes your heartrate increase. "give and take, it's how the world flows. shouldn't your university classes be teaching you that?" your eyes have fluttered shut on his chest, but you still hear the smirk in his joke.

"believe it or not, mister 'fame is the only thing that matters to me,' there are transactions beyond material goods."

"i know that," he says indignantly. "i also know that you're wrong."

"am i?"

"yes," he affirms. "i don't only care about fame. i care about you too, obviously."

"see, sae? give and take. i give you all i am--"

"and you take all i am."

"body and soul?"

"and everything in between," he finishes, pressing a kiss to the top of your head before settling into the pillows. "rest, mi amor. you've paid more attention to school than to me lately, and that's an unequal transaction."

[cy-cyborg]

So, there's a lot I want to say about the paralypics, but every time I try I just... can't articulate what I want to say without it turning into a monster of a post that puts my writing advice posts to shame lol. This includes in response to the anonymous asks I got on the topic btw. So I'm going to try and summarise my thoughts here.

As someone who was working towards the Rio paralympics - who was basically one of the people they were actively training to be the next paralympians and who got to go if their choice first athletes had to drop out, the Olympics and paralympics are a... touchy subject for me. I loved playing. I loved my sport. I loved the people I played with. I loved the people I played against. But the way the public and people in power treats disabled athletes sucks. It Really really sucks. and it hurts to talk about.

The vast, vast majority of us aren't paid. We are expected to train at the same intensity as the Olympians with none of the breaks and none of the support to do so, resulting in injuries that are disabling in and of themselves, while juggling normal jobs. many of the paralympians are also in school or at university as well. both schools and jobs see these elite athletes as dedicated hobbiests at best.

I had a friend who were fired from their job because they were denied time off to compete at the paralypics and well, if i had to choose between the paralympics or stay at a shit job paying minimum wage, I know which one I'd pick, and so she didnt have a job when she came back. I have friends who are still in the closet because their sponsors would drop them if they came out as gay, who ended years-long relationships to keep the funding that allowed them and their teams to compete - funding that just covered the costs of travel by the way. They never saw a cent of it themselves, but it was the difference between us having to pay $50 each for our plane tickets and accommodation and having to pay $2,000Aud + for every away game. I have friends who were supposed to go to Tokeyo but were kicked off the teams weeks before the games because of a rule change that decided they weren't disabled enough anymore, wasting years of work with absolutely no warning. They weren't even given the decency of an appology from the people who made the call. Several went through terrifying mental health spirals over it. It was their life's work, gone. I saw so many friends just give up because their disabilities were "too hard to classify" into the International Paralympic Commity's boxes and who were made to feel they weren't welcome by the system spouting off about its diversity and inclusion and empowerment of disabled people.

And then with all that, the best we can hope for is for the social media teams to turn us into a joke for ableds to laugh at or into inspiration porn to make them feel good about themselves - because at least theyre not us. Because obviously, there are no other options in how to show us/sarcasm.

My phone doesn't even have "paralympics" as a recognised word. I have a Samsung. The company that is currently at the paralympics using them as a marketing opertunity. We aren't even recognised as a word in the phones made by the company that is currently using the paralympics as a marketing opportunity. The phones they're giving the athletes won't even recognise the name of the event that they got it at. If I've spelt it wrong, it's because it autocorrects it every time I try to spell it right, and im dyslexic and can't see the difference until I stare at it for a minute or so.

I just... this isn't even scratching the surface of my thoughts. But I wanted to say at least some of it. It will be the last I'm going to talk about it, at least until the event is over.

[lifeafterpsychiatry]

Just saw another "there's no such thing as being too busy to send a text" post and I just have to point out what a horrible, untrue and ableist take that is. Because there ARE people who struggle severely to communicate and articulate their thoughts even on average days. There IS such a thing as having mental or physical symptoms so severe that you can't pick up your phone to text people. There IS such a thing as being hit with a personal crisis or trauma so severe that you temporarily drop off the map. There IS such a thing as simply being too busy and preoccupied to text people. So don't fucking tell people that if someone doesn't answer your text, that's automatic proof that they simply don't care about you. That isn't a helpful statement at all