#what am i talking about? idk
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Crystal Palace and Charles Rowland
for @crylandweek Day 4: Noir
#dead boy detectives#crystal palace#charles rowland#cryland#crylandweek#tw flashing#there's a story/au type thing in here somewhere i'm just not smart enough to tell it#something something two traumatized hurting teens#falling away from each other at first#but longing for each other#finally coming together in the end#what am i talking about? idk#dbda#dbdagifs#dbda edit#mine*
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you know, you know. no gods, no masters, no kings on pedestals. everyone is fallible. death of the author. you know! you are balanced about your intake of media - you allow the wiggle room, the grace, the gratitude, the skepticism. nobody above criticism.
but still. a weird gut-punch feeling, something akin to betrayal. you read the article. surprise! an author you love is actually: a serial fucking predator.
well, shit. what now. no, you knew he was a person (all people are), but now you're wondering - what have i overlooked by accident? what messages have i internalized that are strange and cruel? and also, like, what the fuck?
his actions lay a thick glaze on top of everything. like each place is now ruined, opaque in a new way. but okay, fine, you've done this before. you knew better, right? you've been betrayed by many a cherished childhood author.
still, this stickiness. fuck. can you pick up that book again. will you read it to your children. you've recommended it to others - will you ever do that again? and of course, of course, no parasocial relationships. you were theoretically above this kind of sentiment. but the artist informs the art, right.
so it's not something as clear-cut as feeling he owed you, specifically (a stranger) better behavior - just that you kind of, in a distant and odd way... sort of trusted him to do better. it's not like a real trust or something speakable, just the faint hope that the product (good books) was a thin representation of the soul. now it feels like the product (good? books?) was a mask. in some small or insignificant way, your previous support of this person lent them power. your money and your time and your laughter.
and the thing is - you have this terrible, echoing sensation. how many times will this happen? over and over. you find out that the singer you love is actually a predator. you learn over drinks that your favorite high school english teacher is in jail for what he did to her. you listen to the news idly and suddenly discover that a woman you used to idolize has been abusing her kids for an actual eon.
what can you touch without the static melting off. you can't even really complain about it too much (you were supposed to know better, and besides, you don't want the same re-split "it's not your fault, love what you love" basic advice), but now it's here. somehow, it feels like - you let him into your life.
it's not that things need to be pure or an artist has to be like, endlessly perfect, mindful. demure. it's more just this terrible truth that has been replayed through your veins so often it feels criminally vain. power corrupts, absolute power corrupts absolutely. did you want any one person to be worth that power?
it's just that he wrote books where he seemed to understand that. he seemed to know about hierarchies and unfair systems and bigotry and privilege. you thought they were books about what it means to struggle. you thought they were about having power and still using it for good rather than for control. he spooned you a narrative of being a good guy, a kind soul. you fucking bought what that fucking monster sold.
maybe that's why they were fantasies, after all.
#spilled ink#warm up#oh im .... sick to my stomach.#i talked to him. like ....... we talked. that man interacted with my poetry and writing.#that article.... gutwrenching. i am so sorry to everyone he's ever even been in the room with.#i feel.... like... unbearably. sick.#he acted like he was cool and friends with me!! we were cool internet writers together!!!!!#i feel sick for even having been polite to him.#i ...... am experiencing something so fucking complicated.#i wonder how many of u are feeling that too. like ''oh i sent him an ask and he was funny and sweet''#THATS HOW THEY GET U. ..... and YES I KNOW!!!#i am so fucking well-read about parasocial relationships. it would just be nice to like. trust that someone ISNT#hiding a huge fucking background of BEING A COMPLETE MONSTER. LIKE WHAT THE FUCK.#by the way i am not part of a fandom. this is “what the fuck i accidentally supported a rapist” not#“but my showww”. like i care far more about like. the human cost.#but also like... people are people. idk i saw a take on here about how nobody should mourn the books#and idk. people almost always reply to any scenario with their personal experience first -#''i knew him'' or ''wow i was just at that store'' or ''i grew up there'' or whatever. because that is how we establish connection &#emotional weight. that's just... a person thing. and there is a difference between 'oh this guy is a monster'' & the feeling of:#he's been a monster and i SUPPORTED THAT. i CELEBRATED him. i !!! a fucking victim myself!!!!!!!!! SUPPORTED . HIM.#i am sick. i feel so much pain for her and everyone he's ever hurt. saying ''the books are ruined'' is i think ... like how people say#they're shocked and disgusted by him. (obviously there's nuance here. im sure there's some creep doin it wrong. but u know. in general)#idk..... im an author. i understand my work is in your life in whatever small way. i understand that connection. it's real.
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The world is so obsessed with young ppl everything is about what the youth is doing. Everyday id mag is releasing an article on what young ppl in Tokyo are wearing what about middle aged ppl or old ppl who have lived long enough to know the patterns of humanity. Are they not interesting or what
#txt#like… idk how I could live my life where everywhere I look is always talking about young ppl and not my generation yknow what I mean?#like rn I’m fine cuz I’m also young the things that are talked about are relevant to me#but where I’m 45 how am I gonna know what’s hip with my crowd how do I find out??#maybe I’m just having weird thoughts lol
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the whole "jason rules crime alley and none of the other bats are allowed there!!1!" thing is so funny like. tim LITERALLY lives in the theater where bruce's parents died,
#rimi talks#sorry. thought about tim doing that again. what is WRONG with him kfjshakjdshfkjd#WITHOUT EVEN TELLING BRUCE UNTIL AFTER HED ALREADY DONE IT TOO.#TIMOTHY. WHY.#this is the other thing abt why i just dont like seeing jtodd in fanwork#whenever he appears like 99% of the time its in a way that is directly contradictory to actual comics#the 1% of people who actually read the comics and write him in such a way? fine great awesome!!#however i still am filtering that bitch out because hes kind of a catch-all for the most annoying batfanon tropes.#because. yknow. theres no other tags to filter out bc they dont Fucking tag it#alas. oh well. anyways can we go back to going hey tim what is wrong with you#because for real i think he got off way too easy for this one.#forget identity reveals i want the core four sleepover where tim's apartment gets its lore reveal#give me cassie doing such a dramatic spit take that she gets ice cream on the ceiling. picks up tim like a weasel. and goes WHY???#and hes just like. idk seemed like the right thing to do :)#tim
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rapline in their solo eras for @raplinenthusiasts ✰
#happy birthday julia beloved <3#usersky#annietrack#heyryen#usermaggie#userkelli#useremmeline#usersolis#raplineuser#userpat#tuserandi#usermizuoka#rjshope#dailybts#btsedit#cyphernet#btsgif#mine!#uservans#i brought in some elements from the indigo dday and jitb album contents since i have them hehe#i love you sooooo much and am so happy i found you here!#i hope you have a great day full of flowers! desserts! music! and all the love you deserve in this world#excited for what the next year will bring for you <333333333#wow maybe if i loved you less i could talk about it more idk#i hope i scheduled right!#cr maggie for dday footage!!! 💖💖💖#cr 0613data for lolla i think
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silly comic based on a time i struggled to read live on stream :thumbsup:
context clip compilation below ASDASDFASA
(cw for brief mention of hospitals/strokes)
#in stars and time#isat#isat odile#isat siffrin#isat spoilers#<- not big ones but the convo this stems from occurs on 3rd floor before king act 2 so#cw hospital#cw stroke#<- brief stroke talk in the clip thats why#odile i am so sorry for making u deal with the fact that i cant read#or just input words?? where there arent any??? i dont know why i do that????#these streams have made me realize i sometimes just autofill words when reading SAFADDA#also random side headcanon i was thinking of while drawing this#is odile speaks alot with her hands?#idk why i just think its fun?#and kinda makes sense as someone who has travelled a lot thru different countries?#personal observation but you can convey/tell a lot without knowing a much of a different language via body language#as someone who grew up with family who spoke a different language that i do not speak LMAO#especially hands!! those say a lot!!#reading body langauge/tone helped me a lot when guessing if what was being talked about a good thing or not#tho tone to a lesser extent since uh it can be hard to tell at times i think ASDFDA#so it makes sense to me???#the art of pointing in general location is a universal skill i think?? yea#to a lesser extent i think siffrin might do this? but more subdued/under the cloak so#the cloak ends up getting in the way 90% of the time so no one can actually see that lmao#okay tag talk over#no stream time today because weather boooooo storms
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Ugh the way fanon Jason calling Tim replacement v.s. canon Jason calling Tim pretender flattens Jason's motivations and the whole Jason and Tim relationship. 'Replacement' directs all of Jason's anger to Bruce. It makes Tim and Jason allies in victimhood. 'Here is this callous man that views us as interchangeable, can't you see that we're nothing to him?' 'Pretender' though... that holds Tim accountable for his role in making Jason's death meaningless. 'You saw everything I was, all that I gave, and you used it as a springboard to become what I should have been' is a lot more complex, and a lot more thematically accurate to Jason's whole deal. It's a larger gap for the characters to bridge, especially when Tim is coming from the perspective that his becoming Robin was not only right, it was necessary.
#jason todd#red hood#tim drake#Robin#Red Robin#(?)#idk what hero tag we're using for Tim these days#bitch i might wing#disclaimer cuz I'm tired of reading this comment#I AM VERY AWARE THAT HE IS ANGRY AT BRUCE I AM TALKING ABOUT TIM THO
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still in a bit of an art slump take a shitpost for all the people who wanted more buttonblossom with the teeth thing (you'll get something more serious soon i swear...)
based off this
#this marks the return of something i personally find very amusing but idk if anyone else notices#what am i talking about??? going to leave it a mystery it's funnier that way... feel free to guess tho i'll let you know if you're right#the amazing digital circus#tadc#pomni#ragatha#buttonblossom#pomni x ragatha#ragapom#chompni#my art#suggestive
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painting test with a limited color palette
here's the moon equivalent!
#my art#daycare attendant#dca fandom#hm... no character tags. guess!#really put off posting this since i had no clue what to write for the image id... but it turned out to be fairly easy. sorry if its bad tho#i've been having a falling out with this series recently#its hard for me to like it these days. like theres still a lingering bit of affection for it#but i cant help but wonder if its time to move on from it. hm#i know im probably talking about it in a weird way but... its always been mentally distressing to leave my interests behind!!#sigh.. i know this blog is fairly ''big'' but idk if i'd be missing out on much by leaving. considering how isolated i am from the communit#and also how much i tend to dislike the majority of the community too. hm#eh who knows... we'll see
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Dandy boy! Seungmin!
#he's shy.#kim seungmin#seungmin#bystay#createskz#stray kids#skzedit#staysource#skz#skz gifs#jesskz#stray kids gifs#skzco#gagwanzsource#seungminsource#vocalrachasource#this ones dedicated to. lil seung bungers#whoever wishes to claim the title#lmao#did u guys have bungers like you'd throw em at the ground and they'd explode ? idk what im talking about i am sunburnt
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Dragon giving Luffy to Garp with the assumption that he's going to take care of him until he's ready to meet his son (because it's dangerous to have a child while he starts a fucking revolution, thank you very much) and then Garp just- Leaving Luffy on a village where he spends 24/7 alone waiting for the pirate he now considers his role model (because he doesn't have anybody else and Shanks is the only father figure around and he's just that nice) to come back from his adventures, and only being taken care of by Makino who has no responsibility over Luffy but still takes care of him because otherwise the kid would probably die from starvation, and lucky for him she's a sweetheart. And then he loses Uta, his only friend (with no explanation at all), to then carry the guilt of Shanks losing an arm for him and suddenly his legacy as a pirate. And then he's sent to another place with other people he doesn't know, because Garp thought "oh, yes, wonderful idea to leave my grandson with this depressed kid and some bandits" and Luffy luckily befriends Ace and Sabo because they're good people. Luckily. And luckily, Dadan is a good mom and loves them. But then Sabo fucking dies because nobody with authority was protecting these kids (I wonder who could've done that). And now Luffy has to carry both guilt, a legacy, and the biggest abandonment issues I've ever seen after losing his best friend and his brother when they were just children.
And I'm not saying Garp has made horrible decisions but he has made horrible decisions and Dragon should hit his own dad with Sabo's metal pipe.
#idk i just think dragon wouldn't like this#sabo: ah yes garp did *explains everything*#dragon: give me your metal pipe son i am going to beat the shit out of grandpa#i don't think he will but i think he should#i have resentment towards garp i know he's a funny and complex character and he's a good person but i am angry#i think we talk a lot of shit about dragon and shanks for being 'negligent parents' (they aren't btw learn what that means first please)#when garp is right there#one piece#monkey d. luffy#monkey d. dragon#monkey d. garp#red haired shanks#asl brothers#uta#portgas d. ace#revolutionary sabo
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if ordan karris wanna complete that sentence does that mean he also likes us?
#i mean. the ordan part can control what sentence he wanna hijack right?#hmm#after seeing so much dialogue from his quote page i really wanna see the ordan part inside ordis actually has major impact in canon#and not just to roast parvos. i absolutely love that part but i hope i can see more than that#also makes me wonder how much details in his quote implies what would happen later in the game#like. idk how long ordis has been calling us the operator but i guess it's definitely before the second dream#and i also guess people would understand it as the operator of orbiter or something and not about#...that#yeah that kind of detail#does that count as a spoiler?#what am i talking about this whole post IS a spoiler#but i don't actually wanna tag my each and every post as spoiler tho#cephalon fragment has existed for years so i guess im just gonna... keep. not tagging that. yeah#warframe#warframe ordis#warframe ordan karris#my art
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#pathologic#time to watch the quality degrade oooh yeah#sigh#anyway I don’t like this too much#but that FUCKING doorway was too much of a hassle to not post#don’t talk to me about the angle of it or anything for that matter.#pathologic art#мор утопия#pathologic classic hd#artwork#digital art#art#artists on tumblr#digital arwork#what am I supposed to tag idk#tragedian
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lord, give me one more chance
#undertale#uty#uty clover#flowey#meta flowey#premaposting#another one#4 am reference#if that didnt hit#i need “terrifying religious symbolism” with this dumb flower#yk what im talking about#like a mad scary god#idk how to call this genre of stuff#all i know is that its often p cool#ok but a 12 yr old fighting against a god probably around that age isnt fun man#also shush ik at this time clover themselves arent supposed to be there#just the soul alone#but shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh#yeah this is the second meta flowey drawing today you absolutely will never figure out what i did this week uh huh#one day sleeping p late is an answer#luckypatch
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I'm trying to avoid getting spoiled so I haven't looked up what's happening in the Jp server's main story, but for my own sanity I need to ask; is the story at a point where we know whether Lilia will get better/survive his almost-empty magic reserves..? Was it a true death flag from the start or only a plot device for malleus' overblot....?
not yet! I do think they're going to get back to it eventually, but -- keeping it as low spoilers as possible -- there's been...let's just say a LOT going on in the meantime.
enjoy 7-6!!! :)
#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 part 6 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 part 6 spoilers#i AM going to talk more about spoilers for a minute (i will try to keep it just up to 7-6 stuff though)#but i have. THEORIES.#my current hypothesis (based on absolutely nothing except vibes)#is that they're going to find the princess glow and use it to save lilia#via magic boost or...something. idk it was vaguely-defined enough they can handwave exactly how#because. look. they made a point of introducing this super powerful macguffin gemstone with magical dad-saving powers#and then never solidly established what happened to it#(twst? talk at length about something totally irrelevant that never comes up again? surely not)#but it would tie in very nicely with the rest of the parallels between silver and the knight of dawn#and i like how it would be sorta like...a little bit of meleanor coming back to save lilia#(again) (less violently this time)#my even-more-based-on-nothing theory is that crowley might have the princess glow and this might segue into whatever's going on with him#as always i could be completely wrong but i'm just. y'know. feeling it.#i'm still obsessing over that one line from episode 4 where azul was like 'oh yeah i totally know crowley's big secret'#which was most likely azul bullshitting but i'm still like IT'S GONNA COME BACK AAAAANY DAY NOW#(at this point no one will be more shocked than i) (the validation would be nice though)
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If you were to like redesign Magneto's classic outfit in a way that both suits the character and your own tastes, how would you redesign it?
uhhhh errrmmmmm i dont know i really couldnt improve upon perfection but i have still tried for you my friend !!!
#xmen#xmen comics#magneto#erik lehnsherr#max eisenhardt#erik magnus lensherr#like ig fc erik there too but only if you squint Generally Speaking this aint about him#snap sketches#i thought this was gonna be a quick thing but then As I Do i sat and thought about it for too long#and for what. my end result isn't that different from the beginning !! tragic .#out of these i think. it MAY be obvious i like the far right one#once i remembered I Do In Fact love megaman i locked in cause everytime i draw Classic Magneto all i think of is megaman#cant even make a magnetman joke that mfer already exists and he from my FAVORITE classic megaman title tyvm#anyway. should i explain my reasoning now. man i guess i can try#i couldnt tho is the thing- at least for the first set i really was just ickin around and seeing what i Might like#evidently it was nothing LMAO i told yall i cant improve perfection ... so i just. Smash Bros'd his classic look#With some tearing on the cape cause i said so ............#at most- with the furthermost right bit- i just wanted to emphasize a feeling of 'power' hence the chunkier boots + gloves#with the first look i tried that angle with showing some arm skin buuuuttt i dont like it ...#i think the sleeveless look really only works if the outfit's black idk i cant explain it#overall the first design i tried just feels too sleek for my liking if i wanted to go for a 'power' approach#i like the 'M' i did with the legs at least. i really wanted to incorporate an M in case it wasnt clear but alas ...#tbh i might steal the boots/gloves/underwear design from myself when i draw classic magneto regularly. SHRUG we'll see#as for now i am very sleepy and i have class in the morning and i want to do some work Before Class#very cool but very sad i dont have my third class today :( its my fave class :( at least i get more time to work#and the more work i get done the more time i get to draw the sillies !!! epic ...#anyways. good night everyone !!!!!!! talk to yall tomorrow ..... probably ... or later ig technically... i should sleep earlier <- wont
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