#what abt family traditions? what was daily life like there

[forgottenroderick]

OOC | Varmont Wedding Traditions

a complement to [ this ] post, here're some things that jumped out at me as things that feel varmont-esque????? lmk what you all think!!! (also i wanna announce that every single one of these is inspired by a real ancient thing!!!!!!!! there's sm being ready to fight in all this aklsdjfkjdsf you can check out more [ here ] as well as more in the links in the replies of the first linked post!)

def big church weddings feel like a thing!!! wedded beneath the looming view of the one god who watches all in sharp judgment!!!!

probs some big vigil thing in which you gotta like prostrate urself before the altar or smth

the ancient germanic tradition of 'stealing/rescuing' the bride from her father's family so they can 'run away' together and get married

the ancient norse tradition whereby the groom must break into the burial mound/mortuary/whatever of a forefather in order to steal an ancient ancestral sword. often this involves symbolically fighting off ghosts (played by your besties and brothers) who talk to you abt family history and the importance of legacy, continuing the family line, etc

big dowry exchange between the families outside the church just before the wedding begins

the ancient visigothic tradition of the groom presenting the bride with bridal jewels as part of her bridal gift which is hers to keep/to prove he can provide for her, etc

engagement rings -- roderick: 'i got it i bought it is mine'

a la ancient rome/greece, the bride wears a red or yellow veil (tho it might be an any-color veil in our current timeline or whatever, or maybe she enters in a veil of her own family's colors and leaves in her hsuband's or smth?), shrouding her from head to toe, to look like a living flame and obscure her that she might frighten off demons/confuse jealous rivals who might wish to carry her off or do her harm!

the bride also wears a blue ribbon somewhere on her person to signify fidelity

a bridal party dressed the same as the bride to confuse those pesky demons (and any jealous rivals, too!) who wanna carry her off! the groom's party also dresses similarly to him in case of attack

groom's party to act as your seconds and back up if the bride's family objects after you've stolen her and/or demons show up to try and carry her off! (so many dangers when ur tryna get hitched oops sdlkfjaksdjlf)

the ancient hunnic/gothic/visigothic practice of a cache of ceremonial weapons are kept beneath the floorboards of the church for this purpose too! can't be too careful

a la ancient sparta (and today) men have stag parties to celebrate their last night of freedom, generally ending in the whole breaking into the tomb bit

the medieval practice of reading the wedding banns to announce the pending marriage to 1) inform the public and 2) give any objectors sufficient time to gather their case/object etc

the bride stands to the left so that the groom's sword hand is free in case of attack!

walking under an arch of raised swords to ensure safety as they go

drinking from the same chalice while holding it together/for e/o

ritual bathing/purification before the wedding

symbolic exchange of rings/bracelet/some kinda jewelry to signify marriage in daily life

i just gotta think there's some bloodletting no lie like cutting their hands and placing them together or smth def feels like a thing (roderick got a v scarred palm ig ;D lkjaskldfjkdsf) -- probs while under the arc of swords since the groom's sword hand is occupied!!!! a terrifying moment given all the dangers!!! ;D

probs more/not some of these etc!! i just read a lot of these while researching the other and was like 'this sure feels varmont' so i thought id pop it up here while i was thinking abt it!!

[redswaberkez]

I want your corkscrew hcs!!! just rly anything. It can be fun stuff like his favorite soda or fave movies. Maybe some stuff specific to living in Russia that I'd have no idea was a thing otherwise if u got anything like that! I feel like all my hcs for him will be so lacking because I know so little about living there, but living in Sweden has rly upped my love for learning all the lil mundane differences in daily life from country to country

Okay small and specific shtop hcs leggoo

OUFFF my time has come i guess....finally expirience living in *there* would be useful lmao FIRST of all i wanna mention this one russian song in goin postal playlist

i think its a tribute in shtopors honor. bc like why else rws would put this ru song in there???

ANYWAY.

im not really good at explaining my feelings so im gonna throw a bunch of memes that has STRONG SHTOP VIBES. Memes are the ultimate association language right? im not apologising for klukva (stereotype memes) bc?? original dude is lit basic american trash so errything he knows abt russia is a bunch of stereotypes. makes sense ig

ok now here goes ru memes💥💥💥💥💥

(2nd pic: your pigs grunt violates the laws of the Ural (including shutting the rotten mug up, p.18) and i told my bois about it. I hope, your identity will be established. When crossing the border of Ekaterinburg you will kicked the fuck out with bicycle chains. This is Ural, not Moscow) (3rd pic: [i] hate the rednecks)

Ok NOW ONE SPECIFIC THING. once i mentioned that hes an airbone and here, when the national airbone day comes, its a common joke that the ones who served in it will jump into a fontains like PARATROOPERS WOOHOOOO. yea.

Tbh its really hard to tell where is the diff between your culture (i.e ur everyday life) and others when theres nothing to compare with. BUT. ill try

His concept of personal boundaries is really strange and fucked up compare to others bc here [russia] we r suspicious as hell (imo.) but also like a big family. but the cracked one. Or kinda sorta like that. BUT at the same time he is ready to help everyone who need it and he will not ask any questions. Also he would let live his friends in his small flat if they needed to. It would be really tricky tho. Also shtop is really REALLY LOUD. in every sense of the word

Shtopor knows how to survive in harsh conditions. How to make not-that-bad-edible food out of canned food. Just google navy-styled macaroni! (or Makarony po-flotski) yeass NAVY styled aaand hes the "army one". Out of all dudes at least shtop knows how to COOK. blini, macaroni, syrniki, okroshka, - all of it actually cheap, easy and real tasty. LOOK AT OKROSHKA I MEANNNN. cold soup of raw vegetables. ok.

Shtopor one of those dudes who is a coldfucker. He is actually low-temperatures-proof. (small preface) shtop is an eastern orthodox. AND ANOTHER ONE russkaya zabava. When the baptism of jesus comes we have a tradition to cut out the ICE HOLE in the river AND JUMP INTO IT 👍 or another similar thing when ur hot after the banya you fall into a snowdrift. (banya is like sauna or steam bath. u rarely go to the banya alone.) ((public banyas divides to male and female, commonly yall naked in there, now imagine shtops in public banya and his bi neuron activation haahahah)) (personay i dont really like public banyas cuz its PUBLIC)

Another notable mention i think shtop is actually dgaf what to whatch on tv but he likes to talk with it. That sofa commentators type of ppl u know em. After a really looong day he would mix vodka and beer, sat down in front of tv and gave his VERY IMPORTANT COMMENTS ON LITERALLY EVERY THEME IN THE WORLD in until he fell asleep.

Russian curse words is veeery various, it can contain a lot of definition for one word, but be different on vibes and occasions to use it. U can say an entire sentence without a single cultural word in it. And therefore shtop complains about the lack of swear words in english and often swears in Russian. "--da blyaaaaat' kak zhe zae- -- OH gimme this gun. you started speaking russian which means things are bad." ill brb later with more things but now im kinda tired rn so here u go.

[suxdixx4god]

i don't create a kosher kitchen or avoid chametz for passover

i live an inclusive life i share most of my resources time and spaces w other people and they aren't kosher or know what chametz is

i'd rather just read about the passover story on passover and observe awareness of the story

i can keep kosher to a certain level but like unless i lived and existed in a jewish only community or just was alone all the time there's literally no way for me to successfully perform the tradition correctly. it's not possible.

and i don't think religion is worth changing things abt my life like being socially focused and working w the public and being out in shared spaces and environments all the time.

i can only observe it to the point where it can fit into my daily life if it doesn't i modify the practice or observance of it and if anyone dislikes that i dislike them

and i don't believe in Kareth. If Hashem is real and connected to a person, Hashem should exist with you if you break a rule or not.

like how many traditions and rules have been written using god as a front to make ppl obey it. if hashem is this other dimensionly being that exists outside the mundane physical earth realm i don't think hashem would actually give a fuck if you ate bread or drank a pepsi zero. some things i think ppl do just to feel alive or like they have something they can do with other people.

i like leaving fruit out for sukkot cause i super fuck w that holiday.

passover tho like, i can read about what happened and absorb the information. i don't get what my stomach today has to do with their situation back then, because it doesn't have anything to do w it. :|

i'm abt that symbolic sh!t like lighting candles, that's cool. but i'ma eat my fucking breadrolls and i'm not gonna endure kareth.

nobody is going to endure kareth. any religious text that says you'll be punished eternally for not being good enough at something or doing something right, that's abusive. and if it rlly does work that way i know how to throw hands and tussle if i wake up in the fiery depths of a fucked up shouldn't be real law.

i think god is a dramatic such a fucking dramatic entity. if someone told me i have to act a specific way or my life will be cursed and i will suffer endless consequences i would beat the fuck out of them.

but that's why i always fucked w Lilith more anyways 🤷🏻‍♀️

i don't even think hashem is the main character of judaism i just think they're the fucking loudest one

bro thinks so too that's why they always like "oh don't seek out other entities besides me i only want u 2 like me and listen 2 me 👉🏼👈🏼" girl so ur admitting there are other relevant entities in the conversation let's open the doors set some seats out and work together why u so scared 4

TLDR i think i'm slowly overtime developing a type of judaism that is congruent w being in shared spaces and in public 24/7 cause as much as i appreciate jewry um

i can't stop my life for a mid tradition and i'm not going to unless it serves a rlly significant purpose

i am witchly i believe a lot of the stories from ancient history's past have also been misinterpreted for centuries

i've done spells before where in exchange for one thing i abstained from a different thing and they have basically worked

i think in the particular situation where communities were trying to flee and escape and asked hashem for divine power to enable the journey, i think something metaphysical had to occur to get that wheel turning and get them free.

but i'm not trying to do anything metaphysical on passover i'm probably on my computer doing work and chilling.

like they had to do what they had to do to get what they needed done, done. and it worked. but thousands of years later i just don't get why i would have to repeat the ritual. we're not stuck in that situation anymore. we can relax now. ?? sheesh if i have to flee a king that's forcibly holding my family hostage i'll do whatever divine hexing bullsh!t i have to do in that scenario but on passover this year i am just chilling on my computer.

i ain't omitting chametz curse me idgaf

technically a rabbi might choose to exempt me because i have a digestive disease and also autism so changing the foods i've decided are safe to eat could cause a medical crisis for me

but even if that was not the case i just don't fuck w Kareth. people should uphold the traditions and values that they resonate with.

[jkgnggj]

Love talking Abt tori's background I've done it a million times and will do it a million more it's just so interesting and there's so much unknowns grr

It def looks like tori's parents neglect him I doubt they even actually "raised" him since they're so hands off and absent in his life and hardly mentioned by him ever. The only time he mentions his old man is to boast Abt his "connections" like with the occult club thing where they were gonna stay at like an abandoned or empty temple or sum. Or when Tori boasts about his background saying he was born in a temple / comes from a temple family etc but I think he only says that to give himself more credibility bc of the whole everyone thinking he's crazy bc he says he can see ghosts shit.

Also from what we do know of his parents, we've only heard Abt his dad not his mom so I like to hc she's outta the picture (either deceased or just not there yk) tho I used to just hc he was an orphan dropped off there and taken in by the monks / head monk or something. Anyways, his dad is mentioned by the monks having said to be strict with Tori or "take care" of him and that's pretty much it, super vague. For all we know it isn't endearing or sweet it's controlling especially bc if the monk's idea of taking care of him is being strict and stuff then maybe Tori had a really strict and rigid daily routine and life growing up in the temple. I mean if his punishment is always gonna be fasting for a certain amount of days then I imagine he'd probs behave most of the time which is why he's well mannered or takes a traditional approach to some things (I think someone once questioned how odd it was he called kusuo saiki-san, like who taught him manners). Also his other temple the one he was probably raised in doesn't look like it had pretty memories considering the fact when he was threatened to be sent back there again he caved and did as he was told or whatever. Or maybe he didn't like the thought of being separated from his master and the cute girls at pk who hate his fucking guys who knows ☠️

And lastly Abt the "he's not a bad person" yes ur totally right I completely agree !! He isn't a bad person. He's got some bad habits and says and does some inappropriate shit but he's not that much of a scumbag as he's made out to be. He's actually a pretty sweet guy even tho he pretends not to be. Tho he only shows the better innocent parts of him he hides to ghosts and saiki. Like that one time he helped an "evil" ghost with the occult club. His lil mom speech was so cute I loved it so much lol! Mom friend toritsuka?! He also has this hatred for humans and like men specifically (maybe he has a dad complex? Or a monk complex? Since he's probably mostly and only been around men his entire life esp if his mom wasn't in the picture). So maybe that men hating attitude has something to do with past trauma who knows there could be so much to unpack. And as for me, I like to believe his hypersexualness / "porn addiction" is like some sort of coping mechanism or something similar. I said this in another post like a long time ago but I think it has to do with his sense of longing to *feel* what love is, to love and be loved. The closest thing he has to work on is lust or pleasure bc those are attributed to physical feelings that are closely related to love but not quite the same thing but it's as close as he'll ever get. I mean he's got mommy and daddy issues he was probably never hugged or held in his entire fucking life, it's no wonder he'd be craving physical affection and love and that twists itself into perversion. Also I imagine he's so obsessed with physical touch and being intimate because of the whole can't touch ghosts thing. Maybe the touching that was his coping mechanism for his powers became the reason he became so disliked, bc ppl started thinking ew gross pervert and it just stuck and in order to cope with that he just had to go with it and keep seeking stimulation.

thinking about toritsuka and his family bc i have so many things to say about it. we know that he has father but he seems to be more concerned about his temple things rather than his son. and it seems like he needs toritsuka just as another person to work in the temple or smth else. also uhh

this panel makes me think a lot especially that "your father told us to be strict with you". and we know nothing about his mother and i hc that she's dead but idk idk.

so toritsuka was born and raised in the temple and it looks like he had a very strict upbringing and to my mind this made him what he is now. like all his interest in porn and other seems more as a some kind of protest or an effort to feel the freedom he has never had before. i suppose that in reality he may be not that interested in this, it's just something that was forbidden and now he has access to it.

he doesn't know how to normally behave in society, apparently he wasn't taught this. in my view he's not a bad person, he just had this... unusual childhood and that's why he formed all his stupid habits and interests. ofc that doesn't justify some of his actions but still i love him sm and i don't see him as a bad person at all

[m0osical]

today on moo rants abt fma: i would actually sell my kidneys if it meant we got more on ed and al learning more about xerxes past the tradegy we learn in canon. or just more on the whole fact now those two are the only ones with xerxian blood in them like I WANNA SEE THEM LEARNING ABT XERXES like what traditions did they have!! etc etc i wanna learn more abt xerxes, and tbh i wanna dig more into like. the corrupt system they had and how that all came to be I NEED MORE LORE

[antisisyphus]

i love the “christmas was stolen from the pagans” line bc like...how do you think those christians knew about pagan traditions?? mayhaps they were pagan themselves once?? maybe?

[mariesocuniverse]

Relationships: NCT 127

Maeil (aka Daily)

there are two meanings to their ship name

first is, of course, their names mashed together but the second meanings is much cuter and the one fans use to explain their dynamic

When Mae found out their ship name was Maeil her first reaction was “Oh? Is it because I make sure to let Taeil hyung I love him daily?” while cuddling Taeil on a couch

he’s the same age as Mae’s older brother so she treats him as such

her brother is literally like “Are you replacing me with Taeil? I’m your reall brother!” and she’s just there sweating

part of Taeil’s hype squad and will fight donghyuck for the position of president

like the two were on vlive and spent a good fifteen minutes arguing about their positions in the club Mae won but donghyuck refuses to acknowledge it

he could be doing something simple and you can see Mae in the background with a big smile cheering

he’s also like her personal teddy bear whenever she wants cuddles and/or wants to rest

there are just multiple gifs floating around nct twt of Mae tackling Taeil for a hug or her just clinging to him on a couch because she’s either tired and wants to rest or just wants cuddles

absolutely adores his voice

there are multiple compilations on youtube about all the times Mae compliments Taeil on his voice and him just blushing the whole time

Maenny

was lowkey intimidated bc the man is a fucking tree and basically towers over her

but then he saw him play around with some other trainees and that thought disappeared real quick

he’s more like the protective older brother than like a parent like Doyoung or Taeyong

can and has used his height to his advantage when it comes to scaring people who hurt Mae or do something to make her sad

he was one of the first people who found out about her old company and he looked like he was about to storm their building probably would’ve if it weren’t for Mae

one of the first people she became friends with because he always answered questions she had when she was a trainees

before debut there were times people could see Johnny walk somewhere and Mae is just trailing after him like a lost puppy more like running because the man’s legs are long and he walks faster

there was this one time someone asked where Mae was and Johnny just shuffled to the side to reveal her behind him

his large frame was just big enough to hide her from everyone’s vision unless you walk past the two

you know that one vid of predebut nct performing Under The Sea with Johnny wearing the fish head? Mae was supposed to join him dressed as Ariel but the idea was cut last minute

there was this one time Mae couldn’t see something bc she was too short so Johnny lifted her up and put her on his shoulders

okay enough about Mae’s height

during shows he’s always encouraging Mae to talk more when she seems unsure whether to give her input or not

johnny, after an interviewer asks a question: “what do you think Mae?”

absolutely melts whenever she does aegyo because no matter how old she is he’ll always see her as the cute kid who followed him everywhere

MaeTae

honestly it’s hard to pinpoint where Taeyong’s protective parental energy started getting directed to Mae

like it might’ve been somewhere predebut but she doesnt know when

she’s like 50% sure she just blanked out and suddenly Taeyong appeared in her life scolding her for not taking care of herself

it’s not like she’s complaining abt it she’s really grateful to have someone like him in her life

when her family got worried abt her joining a group filled with guys he personally went to her house and calmly explained how Mae will be taken care of and how the group will make sure that she’ll be safe

first person to know if there’s something between SM and Mae that the other members don’t know about

he was also the first member to know about what happened with Mae and her old company

she knows she can trust him with anything

he found her alone crying in one of the practice rooms and she just poured her heart out to him

Whenever they go places as a large group he looks for Mae first before counting the other members

she got lost once and now he doesnt want her out of his sight for more than five minutes

she got him a “world’s greatest dad” trophy as a joke that he has on a shelf in his room

YuMae

you know how yuta acts with mark and winwin? yeah he does the same for Mae

if he isnt giving a hug to mark he’s all the way across the room with Mae giving her a back hug

Mae: does nothing

Yuta: aigoo look how cute she is :)

she doesnt ignore him tho she just returns the affection

likes to jump on his back for a piggy back ride or just run and jump to give him a hug

there was this one clip that went viral of Yuta talking to someone and he just pauses for a moment before turning around to catch Mae, who seemingly came out of nowhere, into a hug and turned back to his conversation

neither yuta nor the other person seemed fazed so this seemed like a regular occurrence to them

he teaches her japanese!

its beneficial to both of them because Mae can learn and Yuta won’t forget any Japanese while living in Korea :D

really really really loves his smile

like real whipped (A/N i wrote this while watching the under the sea performance and now im going through it)

like she sees him smile and that makes her smile and that makes fans smile

Can and has glared at “fans” and other people who make her uncomfortable whether it be at the airport or during their schedules

There was this one time Mae was walking ahead of him when there were fansites following them and he just pulled her back into his arms because he noticed an anti of hers was nearby

It’s like a lion trying to protect a kitten

2Young

again did not know how Doyoung because like a parent to Mae but she just ended up rolling with it

She just has this aura to her that makes you want to care of her and give her love

whenever they go eat together with the group he always put food on her plate, regardless of whether the managers glare at him or not he glares back anyway so they back off

“doyoung she’s been put on a diet-” “she’s going to eat whether you like it or not”

one time Mae got sick with a fever and he just burst into her room with medicine and soup

if taeyong has the “world’s greatest dad” trophy doyoung has the “world’s greatest mom” trophy that he says he’ll throw it away but has it perched on his desk

Mae’s also one of the members who like to clown him

she’s the one of the reasons he already has gray hairs

Mae has a folder of embarrassing photos of Doyoung’s childhood that his brother sent to her and refuses to delete it

she cant do anything about them tho bc Doyoung got his own folder of babie Mae pics courtesy of Mae’s older brother

Haechan has tried and failed to gain access to either of those folders

MaeHyun

major sibling energy

but not like the bickering kind of energy but more like very soft and uwu

there are a lot of people asking them “are you sure you’re not related?” during interviews and fansigns

Fans are just waiting for the two to do a duet bc come on SM you have a real life Disney prince and princess here

Let Mae be the Jasmine to Jaehyun’s Aladdin and perform A Whole New World together

She likes to poke his dimple

There’s this one vid where Jaehyun and Mae are sitting together and she just pokes his dimple and Jaehyun’s smile gets bigger

joked about if he could let her meet yugyeom and bambam bc of 97line and he just went no <3

when jaehyun was inkigayo’s mc nobody could approach her with the infamous inkigayo sandwich bc she was always with him not like anyone could try considering mae has several bodyguards wherever she goes

you know how jaehyun won the alpaca plushie in nct life? he gave it to mae bc he know how much she loved plushies

Honestly the majority of the plushies in her room were given to her by jaehyun

She has a bear named after him uwu

MaeWoo

Loves the energy he gives and thinks he’s so funny

He never fails to make her laugh whenever she needs cheering up

they used to be shy around each other when he first joined the group but they caught each other having a midnight snack so they just talked at 3am eating ramen until doyoung found them and told them to go to bed

now it’s just tradition for them to go to a convenience store together and eat ramen or whatever snacks they decide to get

nobody is allowed to join them its only a MaeWoo thing  

Mae has natural aegyo but Jungwoo has taught her to use it to her advantage which she does but not often

Another one of Mae’s cuddle buddies

She just thinks he looks so soft so she just clings to him whenever he’s nearby

Major uwu energy over here when it comes to the two of them together

idk why but i dont see him as the type to be protective when it comes to her dating

he’s more like

“you dont have a boyfriend yet? damn people dont know what they’re missing”

or on the other side of the spectrum

“good luck to your future boyfriend he’ll need it if he’s gonna date you”

2Ma/MaeKyung

Older brother that doesn’t feel like an older brother

Majority of the time he kinda just feels like they’re the same age or younger so newer fans get shocked when they find out she’s younger

Like there was this one time Johnny the two were playing Smash Bros and Mark was whining because he lost and Mae was jumping in the background cheering it was his fourth loss in a row but he won’t say it

they were kinda awkward around each other at first so johnny literally had to stick them in a room together and didn’t let them leave until they talked to each other

it worked and they just vibed and rambled about different topics like trainee life and what mark’s life in Vancouver was like

speaking of Vancouver

one time during their stay in Vancouver they wanted to have a friend date but he lost her at a mall and took twenty minutes trying to find her until she used the announcement service to call him

he wouldve ask his Vancouver friends to go with them but some of them had a crush on mae so no <3

When she first starting writing songs and her own lyrics she went to Mark first and asked if the lyrics she wrote were good

They were amazing and Mark made sure to tell her that :D

mae’s reaction to his dream graduation was one of the saddest things czennies have seen so when she found out he was coming back she would not let go of him

Literally could not stop smiling whenever mark was with the rest of dream filming for Resonance

It’s just very wholesome and czennies are willing to riot if SM decides to separate them

Maechan

You know how I said Maehyun was the soft and uwu type of siblings? Well Maechan are the bickering type of siblings

You know the ones who like to bicker over minor things but still would protect each other for life

they have so much dirt on each other on trainee days lmao

Haechan to Mae: lmao what a loser

Haechan when someone insults Mae: listen here you little shit

The only person allowed to clown her is him and the rest of NCT

he heard a trainee talk shit about her once and they still can’t look haechan in the eye

he’s only a few months older than her but he uses the “i’m older!” card whenever he can

“i’m older therefore i get to go first” “excuse me sir but you’re only three months older than me” “but im still older”

they fight for the title of the favorite 127 maknae but they both know that can do what they want

Mae is more lenient towards the hyungs during yaja time than haechan is tho so she just vibes whenever they go to scold him when the games over

they do team up a lot so they’re a menace when they do something together

especially in games

their competitive nature plus their brain power together? its over it even started

50% of the time they have to be separated from each other when it comes to choosing teams

the other 50% is someone choosing both of them because they want that easy win

Those two are willing to risk it all even for a bag of chips

[boysandgirlsandbabes]

i for one would Love to hear the premise of the fic And i just so happen to have a ridiculous amount of knowledge about soviet hockey history,, 🦔

(also i think we might be mutuals on twt, i’m @/fedoroved 🚶‍♂️)

omg hi!!! this is very exciting i love finding twt mutuals' tumblrs lmao it feels very freeing to be like oh thank god we can talk somewhere that i don't have 2 censor myself bc real human beings live on twitter lol

anyways. the tl;dr of the igor cursebreaking fic is: sometimes u, tumblr user kane boysandgirlsandbabes, are watching the 2021 men’s wjc and are like suddenly OVERCOME with emotion abt how igor larionov lived thru years of institutional abuse under the red army system and not only managed to leave/pave the way for other players to leave, but came back as a coach to ensure that young players coming up through the system wouldn’t be treated the way he was treated. and then u start thinking too hard abt generational curses and breaking cycles of abuse and then ur like what if a retelling of all of this. but as a magical realism au

(not tl;dr under the cut for length)

BASICALLY. it is a magical realism au where magic (curses, spells, hexes, etc.) is a common part of people's daily lives. ur everyday small magic is like: blinding someone with light for a second or two, keeping cut flowers alive for longer than they should be able to last, turning someone into a frog for a few minutes, etc. u know. the usual. both the ability to do this magic and the ability to reverse it is innate (it can be strengthened through training but u can't just give someone the ability to do it) and also like. relatively common. 

there's also like. older, deeper magic - like the sort of thing u think about when u think about like, traditional fairy tale curses or things like that. like: ur firstborn son will never find love, ur family will be tied to this town for generations and no one will ever leave, the youngest daughter in ur family will be prone to madness, etc. i think this kind of magic is less believed in/more people are skeptical that it actually exists (in like a, okay yes, maybe all of the men in ur family die young, but is that bc there's a generational curse on u, or is that bc they all work manufacturing jobs where labor protection laws are nonexistent - u get the point. there could be other systemic explanations. is it magic or is it just everyday institutional corruption and meaningless banal tragedy etc etc). and unlike small magic, the ability to break curses is not common (if it even exists at all). there are stories about cursebreakers, but like. fairytales. people might be like "oh my great great great grandmother was a cursebreaker" but it's not like small magic where ur mom like. puts a spell on ur bed every night before u go to bed so that u don't get bedbugs.

in terms of hockey: i think small magic plays the same kind of role that fighting/physicality does in the real world in that it's technically against the rules but like. everyone does it. and the strategy around when to use magic, who to draft onto ur team so u can use it (or defend against it) effectively, etc. plays a large role in how the game is played. i think there are also whispers about older magic (for instance - that there's a literal magical barrier keeping soviet players inside the ussr system, and that if they leave they'll lose their goalscoring touch or whatever) but everyone just kind of sees those as like...well curses aren't real. and again: even if they were, how would u fight them? bc all of the curses are tied to like...the political landscape of playing hockey in the ussr in the 80s and all of these enormous systemic and institutional forces that are too big for any one person to do anything about. so like ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ maybe they are cursed, maybe they aren’t. either way: what is anyone gonna do about it?

OKAY. SO. with all that background. in this au igor larionov is still a hockey player (like in real life). he cannot do any small magic bc he just wasn't born with that ability. he even moreso cannot do any cursebreaking (Or So He Thinks) because like. cursebreaking is not A Thing lol. but even with no magical abilities he makes it onto the red army team bc he is just That Good. he finds the green unit. they win everything there is to win. he starts to chafe under the weight of the red army system. he starts to reach out to non-ussr players. he makes friends. he sneaks into wayne gretzky’s basement to drink secret beers. he writes and speaks out about how the way the ussr hockey system treats them is wrong. gets in trouble for speaking out. keeps speaking out anyways. sticks out his neck to stand up for his teammates, who stick their necks out to stand up for him, as well. his little webs of friendship and camaraderie and care and protest against injustice start to put little cracks in whatever is holding them there, until the crack in the soviet hockey system is big enough for himself to get out, and for his teammates to follow after him.

he ends up in a city and a team cursed by ghosts of their own, and helps lead them to two consecutive stanley cups.

(goes back to russia, long after everything else is over, and coaches the team that he first played on as a 16 year old. stands in the spot where tikhonov once screamed at him and tells his players that he's proud of them.)

[sly-merlin]

Hi, my boyfriend's family invited me to dinner. And well, his mom/ everyone kept adding food to my plate and asked me whether my family didn't feed me. (I'm thin) And finally gave me something to drink. His entire family stared at me as I ate, and everyone insisted that i try everything. And made me play a song game, and everyone sang at the top of their lungs. my bf and his uncle got into a screaming match about who won, for an hour and then they hugged it out. And acted like they were best friends. Like. I'm weirded out. My bf made me touch everyone's feet, and they kept touching my head, i was so confused. Like what was that all about? And when I told Rish, my bf, he told me its rude not to touch their feet.( But I got a back ache after that). Also, is it normal for Punjabis to give gifts to their son's gf? Like I got three of them. I'm so confused. Should I have gone with gifts? I went with a bouquet. I kinda feel embarrassed and weirded out. The whole experience made feel uber weird. I like my bf, and his family seems to like me, but they sort of have like no boundaries. Ppl kept hitting my back, and asking me a million questions. I'm feeling overwhelmed. Can you advise me? - Anon with punjabi boyfriend

Hey!!!

Summary: THEY LIKE YOU A LOT!

Don't you eat anything? That's a south asian mom question. Kid is overweight/underweight/perfectly healthy - you'd be asked this question if you aren't living with the family all the time. If they don't ask you, they don't love you. Simple formula. They adore you and since you were visiting after so much time, no matter how you looked, for family members you are always THIN😂since you aren't used to eating Punjabi food, they were just making sure you liked it and tasted everything. So next time don't hesitate to tell them if you don't like a certain food. They'd just take it away.

We Punjabis are naturally loud. Like LOUD. There are exceptions of course but in parties etc it just HAPPENS. and you only witnessed a screaming match. They'd have cursed each other(maybe you didn't understand those bt i can bet there was a shower of affectionate curses) it's normal. Indians value family too much so that's y it's like this. My father wakes me up with curses and thats totally fine bcs it's AFFECTIONATE. Hugs solve everything so why not just fight passionately. You were there too so your boyfriend didn't want to lose and you were there so his uncle didn't want to lose either!! Impressions are important!!

Don't refuse gifts. Take everything they give you. The ones you didn't accept would eventually end up in your house😂😂so why not take them when they are being given! On first visits, we always give guests some money. You are going to be part of their family(let's assume safely. May god bless you both) so it was only right that they gave you something. This is how it works.

It's not abt boundaries actually. There are certain ways of showing affection and wt they did is wt we face here in daily routine. Patting your back is a way of their telling "stay happy forever" "may you never face any problems in your life" "you were great today" "we loved meeting you" and such. It depends on context.

Abt touching feet. It's a tradition in hindu families, as far as I know. I'm a sikh Punjabi and my mother has taught me to never touch anyone's feet bcs "daughters shouldn't be touching other's feet" but my male cousins do touch feet. Maybe in rish's family it's a tradition but you shud let him know if you feel uncomfortable bt it's a sensitive matter of tradition so talk this out carefully. It depends upon how he Takes it. I really don't know abt this bcs my father never lets me touch his feet or anyone's for that matter.

Whatever you r feeling is fine. Calm down. You will get used to all this. with time, you'll be able to differentiate between their love and hate langauge. Someday just think abt their actions and how they made you feel and the specific parts that you think you can't bear. I'm sure they'll understand. It's a two way thing so maybe show them your way of doing things as well.🙂

[carelessgraces]

ok so i started this last night, got distracted by having my heart ripped out, and then danced around it in the tags of a different post so here are those tags and here is a quick rundown of why astoria’s mother in her grishaverse au really... isn’t a good one and how that damages astoria in the long-term —

#(i was going to write abt her mother in this verse not really being a good mother and the way that astoria is let down) 

#(first by the father - father-as-fjerda - and later by the mother and the way that this makes her both actively seek out validation)

#(especially validation from men in positions of authority & men who represent a threat to fjerdan values)

#(and actively reject anything that resembles family for as long as she can - because family means disappointment)

#(family means being let down by the people who are meant to protect you no matter what)

#(and the only way she finds family after this is by having a specific person reach out and pull her into it usually against her will)

— and i want to emphasize first and foremost that veronika isn’t a questionable mother because she’s raising astoria alone; she’s a questionable mother who happens to be raising astoria alone, and the way that this damages astoria could possibly have been lessened had astoria had another adult role model in her life during her childhood. 

     and i talked a little bit about fjerda as the father in this post, but essentially: asta does not have a father in her life and so she, like a lot of fjerdan children, look to fjerda as a parent and a guide. the nation represents the model of what a good man should be, and asta, who really doesn’t have any men in her life, looks to that for guidance. it’s an inversion of kaz’s “my mother is ketterdam. she birthed me in the harbor. my father is profit. i honor him daily,” in a sense: my mother is veronika. she gave me my power. my father is fjerda. i fear him daily. fjerda is her father; the drüskelle order is his arm; the ice court is his impenetrable study; and for asta, the ice, the water, is the only extension of his love.

     and this is her first great disappointment: fjerda, her father, not only actively rejects her, but would destroy her if she drew his attention. asta learns from her mother to hide from fjerda-as-father: when you use your power, be subtle. when you use your power, be quiet, be cautious. don’t let anyone notice you, don’t let anyone catch sight of who you really are. veronika — herself straddling the line between tidemaker and heartrender, but with more skill as a heartrender than her daughter — teaches asta only a handful of things, but just enough that asta — becoming astoria — can put the rest together herself —

     she can boil water for tea. she can speed or slow water, and move it in the ways that she wants. she can find the water in blood — and therefore she can boil the water in blood, she can slow or speed the flow of blood, she can halt it entirely to force a blood clot in a wound. she can locate the water in someone’s hair or clothing and wick it away ( wet hair and clothes are dangerous in a place like fjerda! better to stay dry! ), and therefore she can locate the water vapor in the air and manipulate that. shape it. redirect it. if she can move water, she can move ice. if she can move water, she can move it away from salt, and make sea water safer to drink. 

     over and over, veronika teaches asta the things that she needs to survive, without ever telling her what these things are; as a result, asta, though blessed with a fair amount of raw power, is horribly unprepared. she kills the first drüskelle by accident — her absolute fury at seeing her mother harmed inspiring her to lash out viciously — and she has to try and mimic that with the two drüskelle who hunt her next, and it’s a long shot. veronika thinks that if she simply never tells asta that she is in possession of something so desperately deadly, then she’ll never be found out for it. 

     and she could move. she is aware of the danger she’s in — her own mother and sister were killed by drüskelle when she was a young teenager ( as described here ), and she knows what it is to lose a mother, and to be on the run. her father and brother are in ravka, and she could go to them. instead, veronika refuses to leave; fjerda is as much hers as anyone else’s, she reasons, and while she’s not wrong, it does endanger a child who has a very limited understanding of her own danger. it’s more important for veronika to ensure that she gets her own revenge on fjerda — by remaining there, by remaining unmarried, by raising her daughter in the same tradition without shame or fear — than that her daughter, whose power manifests at a young age, is safe from the drüskelle. 

     and veronika’s anger is not a surprise to asta? if anything, it’s a constant companion. as much as asta learns to fear fjerda-as-father, she learns to try to look after her mother, whose anger and grief never quite leave her. so asta grows up fairly quickly, not simply to avoid detection, but to care for her mother. and veronika is, in other ways, a wonderful role model — independent, clever, self-sufficient — but she never fully wants to be a mother and so when asta comes, she almost expects asta to fill the role of sister more than daughter. 

     when asta is caught — because she, at nineteen years old, was so desperately lonely in her isolation that she told her closest childhood friend about what she could do, and he panicked and called for the drüskelle — the drüskelle threatens her mother first, suspecting that she is grisha as well and recognizing the surname. asta responds by lashing out when she sees her mother struck across the face, killing the drüskelle. her immediate response to this is to coach her own mother: tell the drüskelle who come looking for them that you didn’t know. i killed him, and then i knocked you down to escape. you don’t know where i’m going. 

     and veronika does it. veronika, overwhelmed by fear, agrees to asta’s plan, and she doesn’t follow her daughter, or offer to go with her. she reports exactly that to the drüskelle who come next, and she submits to testing by the amplifier only after she’s covered her wrist in parafin, and when she’s released she moves to elling under the guise of wanting to escape a place where her daughter lied to her for nearly two decades, in reality out of a deep sense of shame. 

     it’s some time before asta — astoria, then — is able to fully grasp the depth of how her mother let her down, but she feels so deeply guilty for bringing the drüskelle into their home that she finds it difficult to hold her mother accountable for such a betrayal.

[kae-karo]

[1] hi!! so idk if you've seen dan speaking at the mental health panel or not, but there was one part that hit me really hard and id love to know your thoughts on it! basically he was saying that often content creators, and people in general, are struggling with their mental health the most when it seems like they're thriving (uploading constantly, getting good grades, etc) but everyone thinks they're fine. which is literally my life rn but i can't take a break from overworking myself bc i need

[2] to get into college. do you have any advice abt how to provide for my future while still taking care of myself? also, i just want to thank you for running such a healthy and positive blog bc it has helped me thru some difficult times, and you seem like such a thoughtful and caring person!

hi dear! oh no :( I'm so sorry, that's such a hard position to be in - I havent been in school for a few years, and not in high school since 2012 yikes lmao, so I'm sure things have changed a bit but hopefully I can still give some advice that helps?

I'd say first and foremost, talk to a trusted adult you know in person about how you're feeling - whether that be a parent, older sibling, favorite teacher, advisor, etc. they may have advice more specific to your situation that might take into account details I dont know. and while this is my first piece of advice, it can also be the hardest? sometimes facing our demons and being honest about them with others who have only seen our "good side" can feel impossible, but it can be a crucial step to help build a support system that you can go to when you feel you're struggling

the next thing I'd say is, on a small scale, start taking time for yourself. I know that's like. the hardest thing to do when you have like 6hr of homework a night, minimum, plus clubs or sports or other activities that take time, but literally even sneaking five minutes between some bits of homework to do something that's calming and centering for you can make a difference - if you can grab five minutes to go sit in a space you feel comfortable, away from your work, to breathe and think about something other than your work, that can be helpful

the next one is sorta like. tangential, but take care of your body as well - you're still a growing and developing human, so this is ESPECIALLY important, but drinking lots of water (and not too many sugary drinks/chemical drinks) and eating veggies and getting enough protein can literally make such a big difference in your brains ability to function at it's best. the other important thing here is sleep - every body is different, so keep in mind what your body does best on and (when you can) aim for that. between hydration, good nutrition, and sufficient sleep, you're laying a foundation that can help your brain be more successful throughout the day

I wish, ultimately, i had a perfect answer for the fucked up school system (esp in America which is what I'm most familiar with), but it honestly sets you up to fail. what (unintentionally) worked well for me was having a blow-off class or two - classes that were easy for me (like sign language, or French 1 after I'd already taken Spanish for several years) and could help boost my GPA without stressing me out as much. if you can find those classes- and definitely look for the ones that are easy for YOU, don't just ask around for the easiest classes - that can be a really nice break in your day and help relieve you of some after-school stress

here's another "honesty is the best policy" situation - if you find yourself struggling to understand a concept, or homework is taking you so much longer than some of your peers (or the teacher says theres only an hour of hw a night and you end up spending far longer on it) talk to the teacher! tell them you're struggling, and ask if you can get some help understanding a topic. be specific about what you dont understand (dont just go "I dont get it") and explain your thought process - this can help teachers understand where you're veering off the path and what you might be missing. and, more importantly, if you're coming in for help, they're more likely to be lenient with you because they know you're trying (yes I'm aware that was more a "school help in general" bit of advice but in case that's something you're struggling with)

now heres....maybe some controversial advice. take calculated risks. example: if a teacher has a policy where they drop your lowest homework grade in a class and you're doing alright in that class, but you have a day where you're saddled with WAY too much work for another class where you're struggling, it's okay to say "okay, today I need to go to sleep by 10pm, I can either finish this difficult homework or complete homework for the class that will drop a grade", sometimes it makes more sense to skip that one homework and get a zero to spend time dedicated to the class you're struggling in and get rest. in a similar vein, there is also a limit to studying - there is a point where you physically cannot absorb more knowledge. it is so much better for your brain - both from a focus and memory standpoint - to get a little extra sleep than to stay up late studying well past the point where you will retain knowledge.

now....again, I havent been applying to colleges in ages so my advice might be a bit stale, but colleges tend to look for good grades but also challenging classes, or improvement over time in classes, etc etc. they want to know you're working hard, and that you have diverse interests. college apps are a bit like resumes honestly, except you cant lie about your GPA. but like. you can fluff everything else. literally EVERYTHING becomes fair game with college apps. you can talk about fanfic or a fandom you're in if you phrase it the right way, like there are barely rules lmao. and you can make yourself sound very appealing

so my advice would be basically this: work hard, but learn your personal limits. figure out how much sleep a night makes you feel awake and focused the next day (again, it varies!) and aim for that as much as you can. try to eat nutritiously when you can, and drink lots of water. dedicate time to your homework and studying, but be sure to take regular breaks and ACTUALLY shift your brain away from your work during those breaks. and it's also good to dedicate time to life activities - like I said, colleges want to know you're a diverse person. spend time in clubs you like or playing sports if that's your thing, or do things unconnected to school. and remember, you can fluff that all up on a college app! but also remember - you have to live with you for the rest of your life, and there are so so many paths to a good job or a college education if that's what you decide you want, be sure to prioritize your health as much as you can. the education system tricks you into this never ending cycle of "if I just push through ___________ I'll get to ___________!" and taking that through your life can be really challenging and exhausting. I need to acknowledge that some of this is easy for me to say - I was a good test taker in high school, I went to college, and I bullshitted my way through (that's a whole other story lmao) but like. I need to acknowledge that, by some privilege and luck, I do have a college education. so when i say this next thing, please take it with a grain of salt, but there is more to life than chasing what society tells us to chase - there is family, there are friends, relationships, hobbies and interests and love and dreams and spending hours playing video games and SLEEP and getting sunburned cause you spent too long out under the sun photosynthesizing and collecting pens or shiny rocks and ANIMALS there is so so so much in life and I hate with such a burning passion that, for the first 22 years of our lives, we are told the ONLY thing in life is getting through college, getting a degree. again, I need to acknowledge that I say that with a background of privilege, and that education can help people get out of bad situations, etc, but there are many paths to education and they dont all require you to put life on hold to get there

let me tell u a story real quick, cause my education looks (from the outside) "easy" (turns out I had depression and eating disorders of all kinds yeehaw !!!!). my sister did NOT have an easy time in school - my parents could afford it, so she had a tutor for some of her challenging subjects, but she also dealt with anxiety and depression the entire time. she didnt get into the college she wanted to, but got put in a sort of program where, if she got good enough grades in some community college courses, she could get into the school. so she worked her ass off, dove even deeper into her mental health issues, but eventually did get in. and then she had challenging classes and didnt have a great support system, and she ended up failing out of many of her classes, to the point where she got put on academic probation. so she took a year off, got a job at a daycare, and I have literally never seen her happier or more well-adjusted. shes going back to school now, for early childhood education, and working part time at the daycare while she takes a light course load at school

another story for you - my aunt graduated high school and went straight into the workforce. she came from a dirt-poor family and couldn't afford it. she bounced around a bit, but eventually found company that she worked well with. they paid for her to go to school, and she finally got a degree many years after what we would consider "traditional". she had a few other jobs, but shes been at her current company now going on 20 years, has been through several promotions, and works directly with a c-suite employee. she is also the only woman in her office, a very traditional trucking company where she works with engineers on a daily basis

there are many paths to education, if that's where you want to go, and it's okay if it ends up looking different from the traditional path were told to follow. do what you can to avoid sacrificing your mental health for an education - if its what you want, you will get there. and remember to ask for help along the way!! I hope that helps a little, dear

[softersinned-arc]

ok so i started this last night, got distracted by having my heart ripped out, and then danced around it in the tags of a different post so here are those tags and here is a quick rundown of why astoria’s mother in her grishaverse au really... isn’t a good one and how that damages astoria in the long-term —

#(i was going to write abt her mother in this verse not really being a good mother and the way that astoria is let down)

#(first by the father - father-as-fjerda - and later by the mother and the way that this makes her both actively seek out validation)

#(especially validation from men in positions of authority & men who represent a threat to fjerdan values)

#(and actively reject anything that resembles family for as long as she can - because family means disappointment)

#(family means being let down by the people who are meant to protect you no matter what)

#(and the only way she finds family after this is by having a specific person reach out and pull her into it usually against her will)

— and i want to emphasize first and foremost that veronika isn’t a questionable mother because she’s raising astoria alone; she’s a questionable mother who happens to be raising astoria alone, and the way that this damages astoria could possibly have been lessened had astoria had another adult role model in her life during her childhood.

     and i talked a little bit about fjerda as the father in this post, but essentially: asta does not have a father in her life and so she, like a lot of fjerdan children, look to fjerda as a parent and a guide. the nation represents the model of what a good man should be, and asta, who really doesn’t have any men in her life, looks to that for guidance. it’s an inversion of kaz’s “my mother is ketterdam. she birthed me in the harbor. my father is profit. i honor him daily,” in a sense: my mother is veronika. she gave me my power. my father is fjerda. i fear him daily. fjerda is her father; the drüskelle order is his arm; the ice court is his impenetrable study; and for asta, the ice, the water, is the only extension of his love.

     and this is her first great disappointment: fjerda, her father, not only actively rejects her, but would destroy her if she drew his attention. asta learns from her mother to hide from fjerda-as-father: when you use your power, be subtle. when you use your power, be quiet, be cautious. don’t let anyone notice you, don’t let anyone catch sight of who you really are. veronika — herself straddling the line between tidemaker and heartrender, but with more skill as a heartrender than her daughter — teaches asta only a handful of things, but just enough that asta — becoming astoria — can put the rest together herself —

     she can boil water for tea. she can speed or slow water, and move it in the ways that she wants. she can find the water in blood — and therefore she can boil the water in blood, she can slow or speed the flow of blood, she can halt it entirely to force a blood clot in a wound. she can locate the water in someone’s hair or clothing and wick it away ( wet hair and clothes are dangerous in a place like fjerda! better to stay dry! ), and therefore she can locate the water vapor in the air and manipulate that. shape it. redirect it. if she can move water, she can move ice. if she can move water, she can move it away from salt, and make sea water safer to drink.

     over and over, veronika teaches asta the things that she needs to survive, without ever telling her what these things are; as a result, asta, though blessed with a fair amount of raw power, is horribly unprepared. she kills the first drüskelle by accident — her absolute fury at seeing her mother harmed inspiring her to lash out viciously — and she has to try and mimic that with the two drüskelle who hunt her next, and it’s a long shot. veronika thinks that if she simply never tells asta that she is in possession of something so desperately deadly, then she’ll never be found out for it.

     and she could move. she is aware of the danger she’s in — her own mother and sister were killed by drüskelle when she was a young teenager ( as described here ), and she knows what it is to lose a mother, and to be on the run. her father and brother are in ravka, and she could go to them. instead, veronika refuses to leave; fjerda is as much hers as anyone else’s, she reasons, and while she’s not wrong, it does endanger a child who has a very limited understanding of her own danger. it’s more important for veronika to ensure that she gets her own revenge on fjerda — by remaining there, by remaining unmarried, by raising her daughter in the same tradition without shame or fear — than that her daughter, whose power manifests at a young age, is safe from the drüskelle.

     and veronika’s anger is not a surprise to asta? if anything, it’s a constant companion. as much as asta learns to fear fjerda-as-father, she learns to try to look after her mother, whose anger and grief never quite leave her. so asta grows up fairly quickly, not simply to avoid detection, but to care for her mother. and veronika is, in other ways, a wonderful role model — independent, clever, self-sufficient — but she never fully wants to be a mother and so when asta comes, she almost expects asta to fill the role of sister more than daughter.

     when asta is caught — because she, at nineteen years old, was so desperately lonely in her isolation that she told her closest childhood friend about what she could do, and he panicked and called for the drüskelle — the drüskelle threatens her mother first, suspecting that she is grisha as well and recognizing the surname. asta responds by lashing out when she sees her mother struck across the face, killing the drüskelle. her immediate response to this is to coach her own mother: tell the drüskelle who come looking for them that you didn’t know. i killed him, and then i knocked you down to escape. you don’t know where i’m going.

     and veronika does it. veronika, overwhelmed by fear, agrees to asta’s plan, and she doesn’t follow her daughter, or offer to go with her. she reports exactly that to the drüskelle who come next, and she submits to testing by the amplifier only after she’s covered her wrist in parafin, and when she’s released she moves to elling under the guise of wanting to escape a place where her daughter lied to her for nearly two decades, in reality out of a deep sense of shame.

     it’s some time before asta — astoria, then — is able to fully grasp the depth of how her mother let her down, but she feels so deeply guilty for bringing the drüskelle into their home that she finds it difficult to hold her mother accountable for such a betrayal.

[nerhdology]

bullet journalling is something extremely trendy atm and it's an amazing way to keep your life in check while also being super aesthetic and impressing all your family and friends looking at the journal. it doesn't always have to be the most extravagant thing in the world or even that neat. all that matters is that it's able to function for you and what you want to do with it.

let's start with the basics of starting a journal, shall we?

[1] GET A NOTEBOOK

this doesn't have to be the big, nice expensive notebooks all the studyblrs use. if you want to splurge go ahead and get them, but you don't necessarily need them. all you need is a simple notebook, whether it's lined, unlined, gridded, or dotted.

here's the common notebooks people use:

moleskine notebooks (usually the classic notebook, size large, and dotted pages)

leuchtturm 1917 notebook

essentials grid-lined notebook, large, a5

muji spirals

any dotted/grid lined notebook

of course, you obviously don't need to use any of these, but these are the common ones people use. personally, i use a soft cover, large, gridded moleskine notebook, but i think any of these options would be great for anyone.

[2] FIND INSPIRATION

personally, i think this is one of the most important steps of starting a bullet journal. one, it allows you to figure out what you personally want to do with your bullet journal, and two, you can get a feel for the decorations. here's where i find most of my inspirations:

°˖✧ instagram ✧˖° my favorite thing to do is scroll through instagram with different studygrams and their journals. here are some of my favorite accounts:

@boystudy

@journalsanctuary

@studyrose

@tbhstudying

@peachystudy

@studyng​

@smoinerd​

there's a ton more than that, but that's the first few that i saw in the collection i saved on instagram.

also that's another tip i have for instagram. make sure to save them in collections so you can refer back to the images!! basically, to save in a collection there's a little flag thing in the right hand side of the banner at the bottom of the picture that holds the like, comment, and dm buttons. press and hold on that and you're asked to add to a collection. if you didn't make one already, press the plus button and create a bullet journal inspiration collection and it's exteeemely helpful. trust me on this.

°˖✧ tumblr ✧˖° personally, i don't check bullet journal stuff on here as much so i don't have any blog recommendations, but occasionally i would search up "bullet journal" and there's a ton of images and masterposts that come up. i definitely suggest to check there!

if you want a basis of which blogs to check, the studygrams i mentioned above usually have a tumblr blog where they blog and repost other blogs' bullet journal spreads so definitely check there.

the community is extremely interconnected so you can definitely find amazing inspiration for spreads and where to start on there!!

°˖✧ youtube ✧˖° a ha, this is where i always end up procrastinating my own homework and watch a ton of bullet journal videos.

these are really helpful if you want flip-throughs with explanations and the step -by-step process people take to make all of their spreads. most people upload their monthly spreads which is super helpful when you're first setting up your bullet journal.

there's a lot of setting up bujo videos as well, so you probably won't get too lost.

these are the channels i like to watch (some are redundant to the studygrams whOOPS):

tbhstudying

smoinerd

studyquill

studywithinspo

journalsanctuary

amandarachlee

ememworld

Hannah Song

cheyenne barton

there's a ton more bujo channels out there, these are just the ones i remember from seeing on my suggested page and to which i'm subscribed.

[3] KNOW FOR WHAT YOU'RE GOING TO USE YOUR JOURNAL

the whole point of your bullet journal is that you're going to come back to it and use it again. many of my friends had tried to start a bullet journal and quit because they couldn't keep up with it.

you're going to want to make sure your bullet journal is functional for you and what you want to do with it. originally, the bullet journal was made as a personalized planner that you can use whenever you feel like it. personally, that's for what i use it. i also like to make random color inspiration spreads and quote spreads. this is all up to you, though.

here's some ideas for what you can use your bullet journal:

planner/agenda

journalling your feelings daily

doodles

song lyrics

mood boards

to-do lists

story boards

[4] GET YOUR WRITING UTENSILS AND START WRITING

this is the second most important step after you get your notebook. you want to have things with which you like to write so you're motivated to go back to your notebook and start journalling.

you don't need any of the fancy pens everyone has. in fact, you just need one pen and you're good. some people like to use a lot of different colors, markers, and watercolors (i'm guilty of this) but it's not necessary. i personally think the minimalistic bullet journals but i'm not very good at doodling, so i go kinda extravagant.

anyways, here are pens a lot of people like to use:

zebra sarasa

pilot juice

muji pens (0.38 when capped, 0.5 retractable)

uniball signo dx

pentel energel

pilot frixion

here's some highlighters/markers (some are for calligraphy but if you want an article on how to learn calligraphy, please send me a message and i'll definitely write one!!):

crayola supertips

kuretake zig brushables

kuretake zig true brush

zebra mildliners

tombow abt dual brush pens

tombow fudenosuke

pilot frixion pastel erasable highlighters

pentel sign brush pen

uni propus window highlighters

reminder: you don't need any of these things!! these are just suggestions about which are often talked in the studyblr community.

[5] GO GET WRITING!!

this is where you have the most fun! go and start your bujo!

go put your pens to use!!

take that inspiration and make your own spreads!!

take your time and think about what you actually want to write. i have a ton of unused spreads because i didn't like them/didn't use them. the good thing about this system is that it's adaptable; you can figure out what worked for you one month, what didn't, and use that to work on the next month!

there's multiple ways you can make your spreads. they can be kinda extravagant, or minimalistic. what i mean by extravagant is using the whole shebang: pictures, washi tape, calligraphy, watercolor, etc. it doesn't have to be that way!! you can be minimalistic with just a pen and paper. they both look gorgeous.

for me, i like to do extravagant spreads. thus, i find a lot of my pictures here on whi and on pinterest. (my pinterest is ladyofthemidnights [plug, plug]) i usually pick one main color (besides black) to use every month and thus, i go to my collections to pick pictures within that specific color criteria.

after i find the pictures i want to use, i go ahead and put that in a document and print that off. i cut them out and lay them aside and start working on my monthly spreads.

for the monthly overview i used to use the traditional calendar layout but then i ended up switching to the list calendars like shown in the original bullet journal video. i like to make a mood board page with some of the pictures i pick out, washi tape that coordinates with the color of the month, and a song lyric/quote of some kind.

i've been trying to use a habit tracker but i always forget to fill it in.

[6] STAY MOTIVATED

now that you pulled all the stops to starting a bullet journal, it's important that you keep up with it and you actually want to write in your journal.

staying motivated is important, whether it'd be by looking at a ton of pictures on social media or videos on youtube. nonetheless, you'd want to find a way to make you feel excited for writing in your notebook.

PSA: it doesn't matter if your bujo is the most aesthetic thing on the planet. as long as you love it, it's great and especially pretty.

the bujo is meant for functionality above all, as well. this system was created for people to be able to have a functional notebook to write down the things they need to write down that's easily malleable. as long as you can write down what you need to write down, it's a win.

...

fin.

[nux-morbid-art]

fallout oc questionnaire

in case anyone wanted a metric assload of info abt max mostly doing this for my benefit

Which Fallout game are they from? fallout 4

Which faction(s) did they join and which did they destroy? Why? Max initially joins the brotherhood and becomes a dedicated railroad heavy post blind betrayal. He cant stomach the thought of destroying the brotherhood, bc of the squires on board and a fair amount of allies within their ranks. Instead he enlists the help of the minutemen to maintain peace btw the 3 factions, eventually the brotherhood leave as the minutemen grow stronger

What is their S.P.E.C.I.A.L.? S: 4 P:5 C:8 I:10 A:7 L: 1

Give us a summary of their backstory.  a rowdy teenager always in trouble, comes from a large extended family, low-middle class, pulled into the high school-to-military pipe. Spent his military career just trying to survive, trained field medic. Eldest of 3 siblings, has one younger brother and sister. 

What’s their full name and does it have a meaning? Do they have any nicknames and how did they get em? Maxwell Ortiz, named after his grandfather who he was very close to. Called Vulture in high school for his looks and morbid sense of humor, earns “Mad Dog Max” in the military

What’s their sexual, romantic, and gender orientation? Do they feel comfortable telling other people? Bisexual, Biromantic, Transgender male He doesnt try to hide who he is, but he doesn’t volunteer the information either. 

Do they have any mental illnesses? How do they cope? Max has bipolar depression and PTSD pre-war, and it doesnt exaclty get better after he thaws out Moslty he tries to keep busy. He deals w sensory overload by finding a small, quiet place to curl up and rest, favorite sensory stims for staying calm and focused are soft textures. he carries a small keychain stuffed animal he found in his pocket, and collects scraps of nice fabric and teddy bears. he’ll also run his hands thru his hair. he has an oral fixation and if he’s not occupied w a cigarrette he finds something to chew on, bites his nails, chews his fingers, picks at his skin too. 

Do they have any medical conditions? Is medicine/ treatment available for them? Max loathes doctors, his only regular visit is to refill testosterone. 

How much do they care about their outer appearance? What’s their “beauty routine”? How often do they shower/ bathe? Max neglects his appearance and hygiene and needs to be reminded to take care of himself. He loses weight and muscle mass quickly, noticing it can trigger dysphoria. 

What do they fear the most? He will tell you hes already lived through his worst fear, losing Maria and his entire family, but ultimately, he fears being alone and becoming a bad person. 

Their biggest flaw? Do they recognize it as a flaw? --ill get back to this one

What are they most insecure about? relationships w other people. he feels like trouble follows him and hurts the people he cares about, like hes the source of their misery and he cant figure out why they let him stay. 

What Wasteland threat do they fear the most? (ex. Deathclaws, super mutants, raiders) Max fears nothing. Bring it on

What’s their zodiac sign or which one do you think they relate to the most? What are their placements (if you know them)? (ex. Aries sun, Taurus moon, Aquarius Venus) Scorpio

What’s their Myers–Briggs Type? (ex. ENTP, ISFJ) ---ill get back to this one

What Harry Potter house would they be in? (ex. Gryffindor, Ravenclaw) probably slytherin

Which Pokemon Go team would they choose? (ex. Instinct, Valor, Mystic) instinct, he would love taking care of eggs and raising baby pokemon

Out of the nine forms of intelligence (rhythmic, spatial, linguistic, mathematical, kinesthetic, interpersonal, intrapersonal, naturalistic, and existential) which one(s) are they really good at and which one(s) is(are) their weakest? best: rhythmic, spatial, naturalistic worst: intrapersonal, linguistic

What natural alignment are they? (ex. Lawful Good, Chaotic Evil) chaotic good

Do they have any hobbies? What are they? Max likes to play music, he’s decent w quitar, keyboard, and drums other than that he enjoys taking things apart and tinkering. 

Do they have a favorite holiday? How do they celebrate it? He used to be rather fond of Easter, for family traditions. Food, family, kids running around and playing. 

What’s their favorite season? Spring for sure, it brings relief from the worst of his depression

Do they have a temper or are they level headed? Hairpin temper, ready to fight at any trespass 

Do they express their emotions freely or hide their true feelings? express freely but it takes him a while to figure out what they are.

Are they a leader or a follower? He will say hes no leader but takes the role naturally when he has to work in a group. 

How do they come off to others? What first impression do they usually make? comes off as rather cold and aloof. 

Do they prefer to travel alone or with company? Who have they traveled with if any? Current companion if any? prefers company by alot. he’s usually w danse, the two are joined at the hip. he also enjoys being w deacon, preston, and maccready. he gets along well w piper and curie. i’m not sure if he’d ever find cait, but he’d fall ass over teakettle for her. i’m not sure if he’d ever travel w most of the other companions. 

Would you describe them as selfless or selfish? Does it depend on the situation? He’s pretty selfless, he cant stand suffering and will do his best to correct it. High empathy. 

What do they find most attractive in others? Name at least one psychological and physical trait. (doesn’t have to be romantic attraction) Kindness, honesty, and humor.  Physically, he has a weakness for full, round asses and nice thighs, hands that reveal secrets about their owners

Do they flirt often? How easily do they fall in love? its rare for him to be comfortable enough to be flirty, but when he is he’s damn good at it. he does fall quickly but takes a long time to understand the feelings for what they are. 

What’s their love life like? Are they interested in anyone or in a relationship? Mostly monogamous relationship w Danse

Do they prefer to solve things diplomatically or using violence? He gives diplomacy a chance, but he’s not good at it. breaking noses is easier. 

What is their combat style? What range do they prefer? Do they sneak? medium-close range, horrible at stealth. uses explosives and fire to confuse enemies and funnel them to his longer range combat partner, good at making a lane for snipers

What weapon(s) do they always carry with them? laser rifle, small pistol and a sidearm, and several combat knives kept razor sharp

Their most prized possession? a small collection of photos and holotapes codsworth preserved. he has a family photo of him, maria, his parents, and siblings w their children all together the tapes are mixes of pre-war rock n roll made by maria. 

Their thoughts on power armor? ugh, if i really have to. 

Favorite armor/ outfit? light, armored jackets, t-shirt, and jeans

How’s their aim? Do their hands shake while pointing a gun? he’s a pretty decent shot, but not spectacular. steady hands. 

What are their thoughts on having to kill on a daily bases in order to survive? Does it take a toll on them? Or do they shake it off rather easily? He becomes numb to it. it comes creeping up on him on Bad nights, and thats where the fear of becoming an evil person comes in. 

Thoughts on death if any? (ex. Fear it, accept it) “I am not allowed to die. I have people that need help.” He is very tired, lots of thoughts wishing for death, to rest. Tries to survive, but. He doesn’t really want to. 

Do they move around a lot or prefer to have a place to call home? Both, eventually calls Railroad HQ and Diamond City home, but never stays in one place for long. 

What’s their favorite location? gonna be cheesy: in Danse’s arms

Their opinions on ghouls, feral and not feral? Not feral: theyre just people. they didnt choose this. they’ve survived unknowable pain, and deserve respect and understanding.  feral: killing them is mercy. he feels that they must have suffered greatly in becoming feral, and their bodies are probably still incredibly painful to live in, resulting in their aggression. 

Do they scavenge for their supplies or simply buy them? both, also a big fan of trading.  “whos fuckin idea was it to use bottlecaps of all the goddam-”

Are they the type to get distracted and go off to an unknown nearby location or do they stay on track? Stay on track, but very curious and enjoys exploring. will note locations to scavenge later if he cant get to them right away

How do they sleep? Are they picky about where and how or can they sleep basically anywhere? Max likes a tight, secure place to sleep. he’s usually between and wall and danse. if he feels like he’s in a fairly safe location, getting to sleep is easy, tho he startles awake rather easily and has night terrors. if someone tries to wake him suddenly, like with a loud noise or grabbing and shaking him, they are very likely to get hurt. 

What’s their favorite radio station and song? (post-apocalypse) Atom bomb baby, uranium fever, and rocket 69

What’s their favorite post-apocalyptic food? Are they a picky eater? Do they know how to cook? favorite: sweets, candy, and mutfruit Not a picky eater, but he usually doesnt have much of an appetite either. He eats what hes given, usually without thinking about it or really tasting it He has a fair amount of knowledge and skill in the kitchen, being always at his mothers’ heels in everything domestic. he loves his parents and was always eager to help.

What’s their favorite beverage? Do they drink alcohol? he’s rather fond of quantum for the nastalgia and energy-drink buzz,  enjoys alcohol, likes beer, will drink whatever hes handed, if given a choice he likes whisky and nuka cola. 

Do they have any tag skills? --ill come back to this

Anything they like to collect? (ex. Unique weapons, Bobbleheads) comic books, magazines, any printed media toys and stuffed animals, fabric that feels nice. 

Are they good at disarming traps or do they constantly miss them? always walking into them. if he does notice one before hand he’s pretty bad at disarming them, he usually just tries to set them off from a safe distance.

[fillyreports]

all B questions for both Rosie and Diana?

Oh heck I completely forgot abt this I was drawing for like hours and this took a long time XD 

Thank you! :D 

Putting it under the cut cause- VERY long results

1 - How old is your character? Rosie (despite look around 19/25) is several hundred years old. No one knows her exact age (She gives the old “It’s rude to ask a wizard her age~” whenever you ask). 

Diana is (Currently, since she time travels and ages at some point in the book I’m writing with her) is 14! :>2 - How well would you get along with your character? Rosie is awesome! (And basically me if I were a carefree wizard) however, she does get out-of-hand sometimes (A stern “Rosaline!” will instantly reel her in though). 

Diana is a bit too stiff for me, I feel like we’d be friendly acquaintances at best.  3 - If your character had a favorite Disney character, who would it be? Rosie’s would definitely be Mabel from Gravity Falls! (Does Disney XD count???) 

Diana’s would probably be Moana (From Moana) 4 - What’s the worst thing your character has ever experienced? Diana (At the moment- this might change) meets what is basically her family through time travel, and her goal is to help them get powerful enough to cast certain spells. Unfortunately, once that’s over and done with, she has to go back, otherwise the timeline will be messed up. Being completely alone in her own time, willingly leaving her family (and being gone for a good chunk of their lives) is the hardest thing she has to do. She later meets up with their older selves, but notices several battle-scars and memories she wasn’t there for. She feels like she wasn’t there when they needed her most, and despite what they say, she still thinks about it even years after. 

Rosie… No one knows what Rosie’s worst memory is. Her pupils have asked- mostly to ask why she sometimes screams in her sleep, or why tears gather at the corners of her eyes whenever it snows -but she never answers. Sometimes, they aren’t even sure she knows. There have been times where they tap her shoulder (she would be staring at the snow through a window while crying silently) and she’d turn around and act as if everything was fine. “Miss Rosie? Why are you crying?” “Crying? Am I? Oh… I’m not sure.” She also flinches at the name ‘Akinson’. (Akinson Daily is a newspaper in her universe- which just raises more questions) 

5 - Does your character like animals? Rosie is indifferent towards them. As far as she’s concerned, they’re just part of the scenery.

Diana likes any and all familiars (She lives in a magic world) as for non-magical animals, she’s properly cautious with bigger animals, and can pet the small friendly ones with a smile on her face. 6 - What is your character’s Jung/MBTI personality type? *Shrug* I don’t know nothin’ bout’ that.7 - What is his/her Zodiac sign (astrological/chinese)? No thank you. (I will answer no questions) 8 - How well does you OC deal with stress? Rosie usually sits on a hill somewhere (or anywhere high up really) and watches sunsets to calm her nerves. If she’s really wound up however -well, she once disappeared for days and came back with burn marks and a bag of gold coins (Her response to this was, “Nothing like an adventure to spice things up!”). 

As for Diana- ‘I got this.’ becomes her catch phrase. She doesn’t really deal with it… well. Diana is the kind of person who let’s her stress get so bad that she stops sleeping. Her friends usually have to force her to sleep and drag her out for dinner. A good ole’ festival or late night walk will chill her out though. Really, her friends can distract her from anything. 9 - Is/Would your OC be ‘tech-savvy’? (This one’s funny to me because they both live in magic worlds with a little technology) Rosie wouldn’t care for computers and stuff- but if you gave her one with nothing else to do, she’d know the in’s and out’s of it in an hour or so. 

Diana would use tech for anything she needed to (Work mostly) and be really bad with anything else.10 - What is your OC’s greatest fear? Rosie isn’t afraid of her pupils getting hurt (getting hurt is part of learning, and if that’s the cost then so be it) what she’s afraid of is them getting hurt or killed because of her. Diana’s fear for most of her life was being alone, but as she goes on her adventure and earns her little non-related family, it becomes letting them down in any way, shape, or form. 11 - Does you OC have any phobias or disorders? Rosie had pretty severe social anxiety when she was little (something no one believes, considering her current personality). It’s rumored that she has a fear of a certain magic-growing tree. She will neither confirm or deny this. 

12 - What is something your OC is secretly good/decently talented at? Rosie has millions of little things she’s good at for some reason- she’s excellent at dancing (particularly traditional festival dances, though she somehow knows the steps to traditions she’s never been a part of).

Diana’s been reporting on magic and wizards and things since she was twelve and a half. She’s exceptionally good at remembering obscure details and being completely unfazed by the strange spells of other wizards. (Which does wonders when someone is trying to intimidate you) 13 - Is he/she superstitious? Rosie pretends to be sometimes, but it’s mostly to fool children (and they believe her because she’s probably the only magic user they’ve ever met).

Diana would scoff at the thought. She is a woman of science and history. 14 - If your character was in one or more fandoms, what would they be in? Rosie would be into Little Witch Academia (It reminds her of her younger years, funny enough), Doctor Who, and My Little Pony Friendship Is Magic (She likes Pinkie Pie the most). 

Diana would be a huge dork for Harry Potter and Miss Peregrines Home For Peculiar Children. She’d also be a bit of a closet fan of musicals (Specifically Waitress. She would love Waitress).15 - Is your character more intellectual, athletic, or somewhere in between? Rosie is more silly than intellectual (though she does have moments that hint at the mind beneath her silly smiles- they take everyone by surprise and scare them sometimes with how serious she sounds). What she lacks in athletic strength, she makes up for in magical power. 

Diana is definitely more of an intellectual. You don’t have to try hard to topple her over. You could like like. Poke her. Then boom. She’s on the ground. Probably bruises easily too. She is the target of many jokes from her ‘friends’. 

16 - What Harry Potter house is he/she in? Rosie is a Hufflepuff for sure. 

Diana is a Slytherin! :>17 - Extrovert or introvert? Rosie is an ambivert! She love interacting with people but also has days of quiet book-reading next to her fireplace. 

Diana is an introvert. 18 - Is he/she more of a leader or a follower? Both leaders. 

19 - How does your OC feel about romance? Rosie usually doesn’t have an opinion on this kind of thing- however once, when she was very tired, and not thinking, she let it slip that “I probably don’t deserve that kind of thing considering…” before promptly falling asleep on her desk. 

Diana thinks she has better things to do with her time then date. However, the right boy would be able to knock her out of her tower of tunnel vision, and turn her life upside-down. So, she’d say absolutely not- but if the right boy came along, her heart would take over. 

[shepcrds-blog]

h O LY SHIT FAM!! WE DID IT!! id like to think me mum & yeezus crust himself for givin me the strength to send in my app cause all i wanted to do was cRY ... i lit was sweatin out anxiety beads but this group was too LIT to pass up ur all so wonderful i wanna d*e ... but hey hi hello im sammi!! my heart is beatin like 134343434 times a min ima pass tf out pce!! say nice things abt me @ my funeral xoxo anYDAMNWAY ... lemme tell u a bit abt shep & also abt his character carter just ~~warning~~ dis shit long winded af & boring as hell so ... enjoy :))

˗ˏˋ THE BLURB ˎˊ˗

( SHEPARD DANVERS, MUSE L, MALE ) —— he looks way too much like harry styles but, he actually plays CARTER HAYES on the netflix series, university ! when asked in an interview what song described him best, shepard said what’s the matter by milo greene. that must be because he comes off as detached and inhibited but is reallyambitious and supportive and is known as the benevolent around hollywood. ( jade eyes constantly dilate with temptation as neon signs flash around him, urging him to just step a little further out of his comfort zone. desire, need, want; he feels it all. he has to do it but, wait, his slender fingers wrap around the necklace splayed across his chest and just one touch of the silver cross sends him crashing back to earth. the reasons he can’t pass go aren’t exactly complicated but this game of monopoly is unforgiving. it’s a brutal tug of war between sinners and saints and he’s teetering on the edge; he’s afraid of dying because he hasn’t yet lived. )

˗ˏˋ ABOUT SHEPARD ˎˊ˗

shepard grey danvers was born on january 5th, 1996 in austin, texas to a very conservative family who upheld traditional ideals and values

his father was a well respected doctor who expected his sons to follow in his footsteps in some form or another

his mother was a homemaker who stayed home and looked after the children as well as did all of the cooking, cleaning, etc

both parents held firm beliefs that everyone had a role to play in the world and not working towards your full potential was a complete disservice to god

in order to instill their own beliefs into their four children, it was a requirement for all of them to attend church every wednesday and sunday, no exceptions

and it wasn’t like they had horrible lives because, they didn’t. their parents were overbearing, sure, but they had a lot more than others. they had a roof over their heads, food on the table, and hope for their futures

shep has an older brother ( samuel ) and two younger sisters ( elizabeth and joanna)

his brother is twenty nine, an engineer, and married with two kids and one on the way. he’s definitely leading the picture perfect life that their parents forced upon them

his younger sisters are thirteen and six, respectively, so they’re still living at home and going to school

however, shep ended up taking a different approach to the path that was set forth for him because instead of going to a university in his home state, he instead got accepted into stanford and made the move to california at only eighteen

it was something that his parents were both proud of and inherently hated because how were they suppose to make sure their son kept on track if he was so far away

that didn’t matter much to shep though and he moved without a second thought (truth be told he never felt like he belonged in texas anyway )

he’s currently in his third year at stanford working on getting his phd in neuroscience

his parents don’t help him at all with money ( and he doesn’t expect them to ) so, very early on, he realized that he would have to get a job

lucky for him, california was piled to the brim with opportunities that he could take advantage of that paid decently and wouldn’t take too much time away from his studies

that was originally how he got wrapped up in the acting world. he would mostly “audition” to be an extra in tv shows, movies, etc and get paid around three hundred for each … it was easy money for him

from there, his agent began getting contacted by people who wanted to cast shep in guest starring roles or small cameos and since they paid more he began agreeing

that opened up entirely new opportunities and he did it for a while before starting to get overwhelmed with the workload and his college work

that was when he decided to just go back to doing smaller gigs for a while which turned into him only essentially starring in music videos which didn’t pay nearly enough for him to be able to pay his half of the rent

( drug tw ) his roommate could see that he was pretty much drowning so he introduced him to the life of drugs and his drug of choice was cocaine. being a neuroscience major, shep knew right from the jump what kind of side effects came along with it and how dangerous it could be, but he was struggling so he forced every instinct telling him not to do it to the back of his mind

the high he got from doing it gave him a sense of euphoria, a burst of energy, self confidence, and he required less sleep which meant he could get more done … it was like a godsend

he promised himself that he wouldn’t let it get out of control, that he wouldn’t get addicted, but it slowly started becoming more and more of an essential

with the drug, he was not only able to fly through his coursework but he could even take on better acting jobs on the side

this was how he ended up auditioning for a popular show on netflix titled university. according to the casting call, it was only a guest starring role anyway so it wouldn’t be much different from other jobs ( however, he also doesn’t realize that these things are very flexible and some people who have started out as guest stars ended up being on a show for multiple seasons )

getting the role was incredibly exciting for him because the character was vastly different than him and he enjoyed playing those types of parts

the schedule for the show though is the most grueling he’s ever dealt with so having to juggle that on top of going to school is really starting to wear down on him which, in turn, has only upped his drug use

he refuses to quit though because he’s developed a love for acting and he genuinely enjoys doing it … if he wasn’t so afraid of what his parents might do then he would drop out of college and just act full time but, alas, he knows that getting his phd is top priority

˗ˏˋ TIDBITS ABOUT SHEPARD ˎˊ˗

he’s left handed

his favorite director is the late stanley kubrick

he’s only had one serious girlfriend

one of his major goals in life is to own a dog ( his roommate has one )

he wants to start his own charity organization

obsessed with 80′s synth pop … yeah idk either fam :))

he’s usually clean cut and sports a short hairstyle ( think present!harry ) but for the show they had him grow his hair out a little longer ( think 2013!harry and 2014!harry )

he absolutely despises having long hair because he can’t do shit with it … luckily for him they tend to hide his locks under snapbacks and beanies in the show

he only has one tattoo which is a cross on his hand in the area between his thumb and index finger

he made a promise to his mother that he would remain celibate until he got married so he’s a virgin

however, he struggles with temptation daily and is actually worried that he may not be strong enough to hold up his end of the deal ( or maybe he just doesn’t want to )

he’s generally a kind and caring person, but he can be an absolute little shit at times

he even teeters on being a pushover with some people and the complete opposite with others … he isn’t afraid to stand up for himself at all but he also won’t blatantly be an asshole

he’s awful at all sports except for golf ( if that’s even considered a sport?? idk ) like … is he twenty one or seventy one??? no one knows

he absolutely DESPISES peanut butter like even the thought alone makes him gag

he also curses like a sailor … seriously has the worst potty mouth ever

˗ˏˋ ABOUT CARTER ˎˊ˗

he was originally born in russia as aleksandr vitalyevich tchernev-volkov but was later adopted out of the country at the age of eight to a family of six in the states ( with him being the only one not biologically theirs )

deciding to give the child a fresh start, they legally changed his name to carter lee hayes and began homeschooling him while going through the process of teaching him how to speak english

when he was ten, he had made enough progress to begin going to school and officially started on his new path

he seemed to make friends easily because, perhaps, the kids were just fascinated with someone from a different country or maybe it was because he held a certain type of aura that drew others in

he wasn’t the smartest but he did excel in sports, playing everything from baseball to football and all that was in between. however, he truly shined the brightest in basketball and it was through that in which he got a scholarship to college

it was bittersweet though because while he was happy, he was also sad to be parting ways with his best friend jonas

he looked up to him in a lot of ways after all … the dude had everything that carter wanted for himself and he had welcomed him with open arms immediately

which made the fact that he had slept with jonas’ girlfriend on prom night about a million times worse because … how could someone do that to their best friend? someone that they considered a brother??

the answer was actually simple: abigail took too much valuable time away from carter and jonas’ friendship

finding out that they would be going to the same college together made carter roll his eyes so hard that he was surprised they didn’t just fall right out of his head

so, his solution? sleep with abigail and tear their relationship apart for good. that wasn’t exactly what happened though because jonas never found out and it quickly became apparent that his friend could very well blame carter and end their friendship without explanation

that fact alone was what kept him from telling the other and just moving on with his life

at the end of his senior year though, carter ended up tearing his rotator cuff and he immediately felt as though his life was falling apart

he fell down a rabbit hole during the summer of drugs, sex, and alcohol and developed an addiction to prescription pain meds

once college started up, he told himself that he would pull it together but he just couldn’t and his reliance on the prescription pills ended up costing him his basketball scholarship

he had nothing; no best friend, no sport to occupy himself with, and no scholarship

deciding that he truly had nothing left to lose, he dropped out of college and had his parents pull some strings with people over at usc believing fully that it would help set their son back on the right track with having jonas back in his life

however, that isn’t really the reason why he wanted to go. no, his reason was simple: if he couldn’t have what he wanted then no one else could either. no matter if that meant ruining jonas and abigail’s relationship and potentially his and jonas’ as well

˗ˏˋ TIDBITS ABOUT CARTER ˎˊ˗

he’s right handed

his favorite color is orange

he’s obsessed with bacon cheeseburgers from wendy’s

he used the money he was saving for a car on his sixteenth birthday to pay for front row tickets at a beyonce concert

he’s usually always seen sporting a snapback or beanie

he’s fluent in russian

he has no idea what happened to his birth parents or why he was put up for adoption in the first place

the only thing he really has from his biological family is a watch which he wears all the time even though it stopped working a long time ago

he loves when it rains while the sun is still shining … he finds that there’s just something calming about it

he won the spelling bee when he was in the fifth grade

he’s very competitive and tends to make even the simplest things into a game of winning or losing

he has a very selfish mindset where he tends to look out for himself above everyone else

used to have his nose pierced but he got rid of it after almost having it torn out during a playoff game

˗ˏˋ COMMON GROUND BETWEEN ACTOR AND CHARACTER ˎˊ˗

both felt more or less like the “black sheep” of their family

both are hiding a drug problem that they fully believe they have control over

both have an intense craving to be in love rather than constantly falling for every pretty little thing around them

& i think thats it??? i also have like muse posts for both on my blog plus teaser posters for carter & just ... all kinds of random shit if u wanted to check it out ig ... but anYWAY if u wanna plot then just give this a like & ill shoot u a mssg?? im srsly so excited to be here!!! & im more than 10000% sure ima be plottin w/ everybody anyway so expect a mssg regardless