#what about me is so compelling? i am just a girl talking about complete and utter nonsense most of the time

[technicolorxsn]

love how there are pretentious video essays that just repeat the book and meander and ramble about house of leaves. it's what zampanó would have wanted. it is not, however, what I want

[whisp3roftheheart]

you know what bugs me? I am not that interesting yet I have people pursuing me when I don't want anyone to!! Leave me alone!! Please! I am not that interesting I am so boring! My two favorite things are theology and the muppets/puppetry I promise I'm not very fascinating.

[morganbritton132]

Steve Has Older Siblings AU: Robin Edition

In an ideal world, Steve’s family life is completely separate from everything important. But in an ideal world, monsters don’t exist so, you know.

1. Technically the first of Steve’s siblings that Robin meets is Jason because he came into Scoops Ahoy to be an asshole. Robin liked to see King Steve knocked down a peg or two more than the next person but not by a forty year old (he’s 32) loser who has nothing better to do on a Tuesday afternoon. Robin sees him knock Steve’s hat off his head and then informs him that they had a zero tolerance harassment policy (they don’t) and they can and are denying him service. “So leave, now.”

2. The first time she is aware that she’s meeting one of Steve’s siblings is after Starcourt burns down. They were drugged, tired, and Russians took Steve’s car keys so it felt like a good idea to just lay back on the hood of the Beemer and watch the smoke swirl in the air until they come up with what to do.

They never think of anything, and she is startled awake the next morning hungover and dehydrated by someone laying on their horn. Robin looks at the car and then at Steve, and then asks, “Is that your dad?”

Steve - looking somehow worse than yesterday - just blinks in the direction of the car like, “Richie?”

“Get in the car,” Richie practically seethes, barely lets them get in before he starts asking questions like, what the fuck and are you high, right now?”

“I don’t dooo drugs, Dad,” Steve spat out annoyed and Robin, in the backseat, felt compelled to adds, “Drugs do me.”

They both start giggling and can’t stop even when Richie tries to lecture them.

3. Robin meets Jason again when he attacks her.

She doesn’t remember much about the car ride back to Loch Nora or how Steve convinced Richie not to take them to the hospital, but she remembers flopping face first onto Steve’s cloud of a bed. She remembers him taking her shoes off for her and pulling the covers up.

Then she is rudely woken up by a hand yanking her out of bed and big arms wrapping around her head. They’re barely there before Steve is shoving them off her like, “Fuck off, Jason.”

“Carver?” She asks but, no. It’s the dick from the mall. She is ignored while Jason prattles on about how it’s not his fault that Steve looks so much like a girl that he confused him with one. Then he’s whistling about how Steve has a girl in his bed and how surprising that is to them considering they all thought he was a queer.

Robin stiffens beside him. New queer ally, Steve Harrington, not wanting her to be uncomfortable, blurts out, “What if I am?”

And the room goes quiet. Steve’s quiet. Jason’s frozen. Richie, coming in through the door, wasn’t moving. This family doesn’t really paint a picture of unconditional love and acceptance so Robin throws her entire (unsuccessful) theater career into use and slugs Steve in the arm with a snort like, “Yeah, right. With all the girls you flirt with? Ha!”

And everything comes back to life. The hospital conversation comes up and morphs into an argument immediately. Robin is just happy to fade into the background and observe.

4. Robin probably should’ve met Claire that day too but the hospital was an apparent disaster. She actually meets Claire randomly at Family Video.

She sees a woman who’s kinda cute come in and peruse the shelves. She comes to the counter where Robin is on register and Steve is stocking candy right next to her.

She’s carrying The Muppet Movie and makes small talk about watching it with her kids, and never looks twice in Steve’s directly. She’s not in the system and just laughs, “It’s probably under my maiden name, Harrington.”

Robin gives her a tight smile and finishes the transaction. Claire leaves with barely a ‘bye’ to her brother and Robin decides right there that she hates them all.

[bunnliix]

Can't Stay Away from You - Chapter Two

The outline for this chapter, was over 2000 words, so as you can see, I had ideas lol. We get a bit more attention on the boys this chapter, but we do see what's up with y/n as well! Honestly, this series seems to be longer chapters, so the updates will be slower for this story. But either way, I hope this is an enjoyable chapter two!

masterlist

word count: 5.7k

warnings: Angst, fluff eventually, protective members, scenting, scent highs, cute moments because yes we need it, multiple distressed and panicked people, crying, tears, I think that's it?

“Why did you ever think it was a good idea to give her, a random Stay, your number? What in the world compelled you to think it was a good idea?! She could have been a sasaeng for all we know, and you just gave her your number all willy nilly?!” Minho just about exploded on the pack alpha, criticizing his frankly stupid decision.

“You know very well that we’re all pulled to her for some reason. Hell, my alpha wanted to grab her, pull her into my arms, and scent her, right in front of every fan in that room. And I’m pretty fucking sure that everyone else felt something similar to that. So don’t you criticize me on this Minho. I thought about it before I gave her my number. I took a chance, wanting to get to know that girl who captivated even you. Don’t think I didn’t see you watching her after your turn, I saw it all.” Chan went after Minho, feeling enraged after hearing the man’s words.

By the end of his words, Chan was chest to chest with Minho, almost ready to fight with him. Minho is ready to fight his pack alpha, wanting to get it into his thick head how much he could have risked their pack’s safety over this. 

“Do you realize how badly this could have gone?! We’re lucky that she hasn’t yet done something. She could post your number out into the world for all we know. And yet you’re standing here, telling me it’s worth it because she interests you? I thought my pack leader, and the leader of my group, was more responsible than that.” Minho said, his words cutting like knives.

A noise at the door stopped their conversation, Minho moving to open the door, their two omegas falling onto the floor. The two of them looked sheepishly up at their alphas, knowing they were caught in the worst way. The two alphas weren’t impressed, as the omegas knew better than to eavesdrop, and they raised an eyebrow at the two until the apologies came rolling in. 

“And you two were listening in, why?” Chan questioned them, as they looked down at the floor.

“Jagiya dragged you in here, and we were curious why he needed to talk to you so urgently.” Han answered Chan, before looking up at him. “Do you really have y/n’s number??” He hurried to ask, even though it meant Minho gave him a look for asking at all.

“Yah! That’s what you gained from listening in? That Christopher has the girl’s number?” Minho scolded the younger man.

“Well, yeah. It means we can talk with her!” Jisung says, completely ignoring Minho’s growing glare.

“I am surrounded by fucking idiots I swear.” Minho comments, voice and face giving away just how done he was with the alpha and omega pair. 

Felix wisely stayed quiet, hoping that he’d be forgotten about. Unfortunately, that was not going to happen, as both alphas turned to him. 

“How much did you hear?” Chan asked.

“I heard everything.” Felix answered, hoping that the less he gave away, the better off he’d be. Once again, he was wrong.

“Where do you stand on this, then?” Minho queried.

“I can’t say that I’m not excited that Chan has y/n’s number, but also I can understand your concerns, Minho-hyung.” Felix explains, feeling torn between both sides. 

Chan smirked triumphantly, as Minho sighed. Why are his packmates like this? His own alpha told him that he’s the same way, that he’s being a hypocrite. He shut out his wolf, focusing back on the present situation. 

Since he didn’t get scolded for his words, Felix decided to be a bit cheeky. He teased Minho about his reaction to the girl, before getting stuck in a headlock by the alpha. 

“I’m not wrong!” He shouted out. Minho only growls in response.

This triggers Han to laugh, before running out of the room, calling out that the great alpha Minho was interested in y/n too, no matter what he said to oppose that thought. Said alpha let Felix go and ran after the other omega, intent on murdering him. 

“You little shit, get back here!” He screamed out at the rapper, chasing after him.

“I don’t think so!” Han called back, a cheeky smile plastered on his face. The other observed this chase and laughed at the two of them. This was prime entertainment, after all. Felix and Chan made their way out to the living room, where the majority of the pack had settled, watching the alpha omega pair race around the house in a very scooby doo sort of fashion. 

Eventually Jisung was cornered by the older alpha, and was swiftly pushed up against a wall. Minho attacked the omega’s scent gland, Jisung quickly went into a scent high, going limp in the alpha’s arms. Minho smirked victoriously, bringing the now quiet omega over to sit down on the couch, keeping him in his lap. Seungmin emerged from his room, the last member to join them all in the living room.

“Well, I guess we might as well have the pack meeting now.” Chan piped up, all attention turning to him. 

“What about?” Seungmin asked.

“About y/n.” Chan quickly replied, and that got everyone’s attention. The boys’ attention was solely focused on their pack alpha, well besides Jisung whose head was resting on Minho’s shoulder, the omega still a melted puddle.

The boys started to get louder, each discussing about y/n, before Chan shushed them all. 

“During the fanmeet, I gave y/n my number when signing her album. She messaged me while we were on the way back here. I confirmed it’s actually her, and I know that all of us were interested in her, I could tell by how none of you could shut up about her on the drive home.” He told them, and they all started clamoring for her number.

“Yah! Shut up!” Minho interjected, and they all quickly settled as none of them wanted to earn the man’s ire. 

Chan continued once the noise level had dropped, “My alpha also is attracted to her, at the fansign, it wanted me to pull her into my arms and scent her, everyone else be damned. I know Minho’s alpha was behaving similarly.”

Minho sighed as all attention was directed to him. “My alpha didn’t want to let her go. And wanted to take her and keep her in our nest. And he wouldn’t shut up about how pretty Felix and her would look together in our nest.” He spoke.

This admission from the dancer caused a round of teasing by the rest of the pack. They teased him and his alpha for wanting to essentially kidnap a fan because she was so pretty. Felix sat there blushing, the thought of y/n and him in a nest together painted a pretty picture in his mind, leaving him desiring for that to happen.

Fairly quickly afterwards, the remainder of the boys also speak up about their feelings, except for Han, but Felix shares the other omega’s feelings in his stead. They all found that if their wolves hadn’t outright talked about her, that they at least felt drawn or pulled to her. 

Changbin quickly brought the conversation back around to Chan having her number, which then brought back the clamoring by the others, bar Minho and Han, for their leader to pass on her number to them. Chan sternly told them that he would have to get her permission first before he would even think of handing out her number, which then spurs on calls for him to text her right then and there to ask, as well as a couple of pouts at Chan not immediately giving her number.

The leader sighed, before pulling his phone out and pulling up their texts. 

‘Hey there. So the others found out that I have your number, and they want it as well. I won’t pass it on to them unless I have your express permission to do so.’ He texted y/n.

It took a minute before she responded, and by the time she did, the boys had crowded around him and his phone. 

‘That’s fine! You can give it to them, I don’t mind.’ She replied to him.

“Oh! Ask her if we can have a group chat too!!” Hyunjin shouted out, making Changbin and Felix cover their ears.

‘And I have been asked to ask you if you’re okay with a group chat with the whole group.’ He passed on the question to her.

‘That’s okay with me as well. I assume it was Felix who wanted it? Or Han?’ She asked him.

‘Hyunjin, actually.’ He texted.

‘Ahhh, that would have been my third guess.’ She replied, and he laughed.

Hyunjin pouted, as did Felix, at being so predictable.

Chan quickly created a group chat, adding y/n to it last. As he predicted, the chat quickly fell into chaos. The boys all wanted her attention, and he had to step in to tell them to cool it, both by text and verbally. There were more pouts this time, the boys unhappy about being scolded. 

Since the industry has a habit of not disclosing the idol’s designations to fans since that incident at the fansign, and the pack of boys not knowing what y/n’s designation is, that’s the first thing after introductions to be discussed. Y/n is the first to spill, telling them that she is an omega, to which Felix chimed in as well. Though he already knew that, and was trying to cover up for the growing pool of guilt in his stomach at hiding it. Chan tells her that Han is the other omega of their group. Changbin, Hyunjin and Sungmin all tell her that they’re the betas, Seungmin noting afterwards that he’s the pack beta. This left Jeongin, Minho and Chan as the alphas, with Chan specifying that he’s the pack alpha. 

Y/n was thankful to know what each of the boys was, and now knows why she probably felt the most at ease with Chan, Han and Felix, with two of them being fellow omegas and one being a pack alpha. They start to discuss other topics, though the maknaes try to persuade her to reveal who her bias was, but she kept her mouth shut on that matter. They move on to getting to know her, 20 questions style but really, it was just them asking her questions instead of her asking them any questions.

During all of this, Chan notes that Felix is unusually quiet, which is odd because of how excited he was only five minutes prior. He’s usually the big texting person in the group, and yet he’s barely texting at all, just staring down at his phone. 

Felix is feeling the guilt settle in his chest, weighing him down almost. He can’t push himself to be part of the conversation, only staring down at his phone, slowly drifting away from reality. He can’t help but feel guilty, he ran away from her, and his omega had been berating him for his actions since then. He only jolted back into reality when Chan reached out to shake him, asking if he was okay. The freckled Aussie fakes a smile and tells his alpha that he’s fine. He knew he had to come clean, there was no other way around it. It wasn’t fair to keep her in the dark about this, but it also wouldn’t be fair to drop this over text.

Before he can regret it, he texted her in the group chat, ‘Are you free to call? There’s something you need to know.’ 

This set the pack into pandemonium, thinking that Felix was going to tell her about their feelings. Chan and Minho reach out for his phone, but the omega moves faster, moving out of everyone’s reach. 

A ding was heard as she replied, ‘I’m free right now, Felix. What’s up?’ 

Deciding to just call her instantly, to avoid himself backing out, and to keep the others away from him.

“Hey Felix, what’s up? What did you wanna talk about?” She asked him as soon as she picked up.

“I knew you were an omega.” He blurted out.

“How? You shouldn’t have been able to tell at the fansign, not with my scent covered.” She replied, confused at how he knew.

“I met you before the fansign, actually.” He admitted to her, and the others.

“I think I would have known if we met.” She started, before going silent.

“Y/n?” Felix tentatively called out to the omega over the phone.

“No, we couldn’t have. That was you?” He hears her say, both to him and to herself. 

“It was me. I’m sorry for what I did.” He told her.

“Felix-” She started, but he interrupted her.

“I’m sorry for bumping into you, and I’m so sorry that I ran away. My omega’s been berating me for it since I ran. I figured I’d never run into you again, but then you turned up at the fansign and when you didn’t recognize me, I thought that I just had to get through it and it would all be okay.” He apologized, and explained to the best of his ability.

His heart dropped as he heard a tiny gasp before a sob was heard from her side of the call. He hadn’t meant to make her cry, it was the last thing he had meant to happen. The others hear the sob and it’s enough to shock Han out of his scent high, his instincts on alert almost immediately.

“I didn’t say anything at the fansign because I didn’t think it was a good place to do so, nevermind the backlash that either of us may have faced. I had such a good time talking to you I swear. My omega’s honestly been yearning for you since yesterday, and I’m sorry I was cowardly and ran away. I was just so overwhelmed by everything I was feeling and my omega’s thoughts and urges and I couldn’t think of anything else to do but to run. I’m sorry y/n, for the hurt I caused you. I only hope you can forgive me.” He further explained, hoping that she would accept his apology, but know full well that she didn’t have to. Tears running out of his eyes by the end of his little speech. 

The rest of the pack could only watch on, concerned about both omega’s but unsure of whether to intervene at all. 

“Thank you for telling me, Felix. And thank you for apologizing. In the vein of being honest, after you ran, I went back to the hotel yesterday, because I had been overcome with a feeling of loneliness, and sadness. I made up a nest and after getting in it, I cried myself to sleep almost. My omega cried out for you, she was the most hurt by your actions.” Y/n admitted to not only Felix, but the rest of the boys unknowingly. 

Felix started sobbing, as did y/n. Both omega’s feeling great amounts of sadness, and each feeding off of the other’s emotions. Chan decided it was time to step in, pulling Felix in close and hugging the younger man, taking the phone from his hand and handing it off to Minho as the alpha stepped closer, Han by his side. The other omega wrapped his arms around Felix, providing further comfort.

“Y/n? This is Minho. Can I ask for more details?” The elder alpha asked the girl.

She explained from the beginning, going over the two omega’s first encounter, and ending it with what she had said before, about falling asleep in her nest due to her emotions overtaking her. She told him that she had no idea it was Felix, that for all she knew, it was just a random stranger who smelled amazing, but had just run out of the blue. 

As she continued to talk to Minho, her sentences eventually devolved into sobs and cries instead, fearing that she hurt Felix. Her sobs continued, worrying Minho that she’d start to hyperventilate and pass out because of it. He started to try and calm her over the phone, looking over to see that most of the group had crowded around Felix, trying to calm the omega down, though it wasn’t working. 

Y/n could barely hear Minho’s voice, her sobs having grown louder as she tugged at her shirt, whining and crying that she had made Felix upset. She hadn’t wanted to do that, and she wished she could take back what she said. She curled in on herself, her omega feeling as sad as she was, neither of them wanted this to happen. Her scent soured, smelling bitter now, instead of sweet like it normally did.

Minho called out to the omega, “Y/n? Can you hear me?” 

He only received a whine in reply, but it was better than nothing. 

“Omega, I need you to verbally answer me.” He told her, not wishing to call her that, but knowing it will help bring her back at least slightly.

“Can hear ya.” He heard her mumble.

“Good omega.” He praised her. “Thank you for answering me.”

He doesn’t think she’s going to fully calm down soon, and he’s worried about her dropping, so decided that he needed to go see her. He asked her where her hotel was, receiving the name of a hotel, which he was able to discover wasn’t far from their dorm. He told her to stay calm for him and to keep breathing. 

He caught Chan’s attention, the pack alpha motioning for him to come closer. 

“I’m going to see y/n, she’s in as much distress as he is right now. I’m worried she’ll pass out.” He says quietly, trying not to let the others hear, though his effort is for naught.

Felix and Hyunjin whined at what they overheard, the omega of the two freaking out further that the other omega was in distress because of him, enough so that she might pass out. Felix himself started to hyperventilate, worrying about y/n getting hurt while she’s all alone.

“Alpha, protect omega?” He managed to get out, directing it at Minho.

“We’re gonna protect you baby, don’t worry.” Chan reassured him.

“Not ‘mega, pretty ‘mega.” Tears welled up in Felix’s eyes as they weren’t understanding him. 

“I’m going to go help pretty ‘mega, okay kitten?” Minho said, running his hands through Felix’s hair, pushing his bangs back as he did so.

Felix nodded, before devolving into further worry, his omega taking over at that point. Tears were falling at a fast pace down the blue haired omega’s cheeks and his distressed scent almost made the others choke. Finally, to calm him down and having no other option, Chan scruffed the younger Aussie, causing him to go limp in the leader’s arms. Han grabs Seungmin, and the two start scenting their omega, trying to bring back that happy citrusy scent that they know and love.

Chan motions for Minho to go see y/n, or they’ll be dealing with a distressed omega all night.

“Go on, go see her. Take Hyunjin with you.” Chan ordered the two of them.

They quickly threw their shoes back on, taking the minimum they needed to get out the door. Hyunjin pulled his phone out, getting directions to her hotel. They hurried down the streets to her hotel, somewhat relieved that they made it there in under 20 minutes. 

They rushed into the hotel lobby, y/n having given her room number prior to them leaving the dorm thankfully. They pushed the button for her room, but of course they weren’t alone in the elevator, and it seemed that people had to stop and get out on every single floor. Finally they arrived on her floor, running down the hall to find her room, Hyunjin finding it first.

Minho knocked on the door gently, but loud enough that y/n could hear it. They heard noise from inside the room, before the door slowly opened. Y/n looked a mess, tear-stained cheeks and swollen red eyes from crying. She was still having trouble regulating her breathing, her breath hitching and shaking as she looked up at them. 

“Hi.” She said, barely louder than a whisper. 

Minho, on pure instinct, picked her up and carried her in his arms, one hand pushing her head into his neck and scent gland, letting her scent him if she wanted to. He brought her to her nest in the bed, laying her in it as he stayed outside of it. He looked at her for permission to enter her nest, and she quickly granted it. He crawled into bed almost instantaneously, pulling the omega into his lap and wrapping his arms around her. He rocked her back and forth, letting her scent him as much as she needed. Minho was just there to comfort her without judgment, as she cried into his shoulder. He softly cooed and whispered comforting words to her, telling her that Felix was fine, that the others were with him and that he would be fine, just as she would be fine.

Hyunjin was waiting outside the nest, knowing better than to climb inside without the omega’s permission. At that point, y/n had calmed down quite a bit, and had taken to scenting Minho, which Hyunjin knew the alpha would never let strangers do. Yet here he was, allowing her to do what she needed for comfort. It really did prove that connection they all felt, that the older alpha willingly left Felix in distress to come and see y/n, and even was acting on instinct to calm an omega he had only met briefly hours earlier. 

Minho caught y/n’s attention, pointing to the beta who was waiting. She immediately made grabby hands for the tall dancer, who smiled as he climbed into the nest.

“Hello little omega.” He cooed in greeting, getting a smile and a blush in response.

“Hiii beta.” She said, before hiding her face in Minho’s shoulder, to which the two men chuckled. 

Hyunjin moved close to her, rubbing her back softly. Her scent was still soured, which worried the two of them. It meant that she still hadn’t fully come back from her distress, or was hiding how bad it was. Except for the fact that scents never lied, so the two of them changed positions, laying down in the nest on their sides facing each other, with y/n in the middle of them. They took turns scenting her and trying to get her scent to brighten up. 

“It’s okay, omega. Everyone’s okay, no one’s upset or mad, you’ve done nothing wrong. Your feelings are valid, and we can talk everything out with Felix later, okay? But we need you to feel better first. We can’t have a sad omega, hmm?” Minho continued to reassure her, telling her that Felix would be distressed to see her like this.

Sometime after they arrived, y/n’s scent finally started to smell better, sweeter. Hyunjin’s beta and Minho’s alpha can’t get enough of her scent, the sweet honey and vanilla was so delicious. The boys felt the same way, the two of them chuffing in happiness. This was all strangely intimate for three people who had only met hours earlier, but there was a sense of rightness as they all laid together. It felt like this is what they should be doing, like they were just laying with another one of their packmates, not an omega they had met that day. 

Y/n’s omega was purring in happiness at being in between the alpha and beta. Her omega was loving this, even if it only happened because of a bad situation. The happier she gets, the more delectable her scent gets, and soon enough, the boys can’t help themselves. The two of them descend on her scent glands, attacking them in order to get more of that pretty scent to come out and their wolves want to smell like her, want her pretty omega scent all over them, as a claim of sorts. This attack almost causes y/n to go into a scent high, thankfully for her, they get interrupted before that happens.

Minho picked up her phone to see Chan calling her. He answered, “Hello Channie alpha.” 

“Hello Minho. How is y/n doing? Is she feeling better? I tried to get a hold of both of you, but neither you nor Hyunjin answered.” Chan questioned him, concerned. 

“We’ve taken good care of her, she’s feeling better now.” Minho replied.

“Y/n’s okay? She’s really okay?” Felix’s voice comes through the phone.

Y/n took this as her time to speak up. “I’m okay, Felix. I promise. Are you okay too, sunshine?” She turned the questions back on him.

“I’m okay, I promise!” He told her, wanting her to not be concerned about him.

The two omegas started chatting on other topics, but before long, Chan interrupted them and told them to save the conversation for another time. They both pouted, the respective boys on either side chuckling at their expressions. 

“Minho, Hyunjin, what are your plans now? Are you returning to the dorm now?” He broached the topic of what they would do, now that y/n’s been calmed down.

Hyunjin speaks up first, “Can we bring her back with us? Don’t want to leave her here alone.” Minho hummed in agreement.

Their wolves were insistent on not leaving her here by herself. What if she got distressed again, and they weren’t here to soothe her? That couldn’t be allowed. 

“We want her to come back with us. Omega shouldn’t be left alone.” Minho affirmed Hyunjin’s words. 

The use of omega tipped off Chan that Minho was not fully in control at the moment. That made him concerned, and their insistence really shocked the others, not expecting them to want to bring her back. 

Well, everyone except for Han, he wasn’t shocked that they were behaving like this. Han knew that there was something about her that pulled them in, and he was fully on board with her coming to their dorm. If Minho’s alpha was that protective over her, he knew that she was safe to be around. The man’s alpha is protective over his pack, and he’d never let anyone in that he deemed a threat. Plus, his alpha was right, when he said she’d look cute in their nest. He wanted that too, wanted her and Felix in the nest. She’d be their little omega, that they’d keep safe, and by Felix’s concern, he thought the same. 

“I want her here. Minho-jagi, bring her please.” The quokka-cheeked man spoke up, to everyone’s surprise. Thankfully, no one protested it, and Chan gave in, saying she could come and stay the night, to a round of cheers.

Chan sighed, before calling out to y/n, asking her, “Y/n, do you want to come here and stay with us for the night? You can say no, and I will come and get the boys. But you are welcome here if you want that.”

Y/n nodded, forgetting that Chan couldn’t see her nod. 

Minho caught her attention, “Omega, we need a verbal answer.”

She blushes in embarrassment, “I’d like that.” 

Honestly, she’s still in shock about it all, from getting Chan’s number to now laying here in between two-thirds of Danceracha, and she’s about to go back with them to their dorm. What is this life she’s living right now?

Her omega was thinking about getting to smell Felix’s sweet citrusy smell again. Plus the floral scents coming from Hyunjin, and what she could only think of as a clean laundry scent from Minho. Her omega is increasingly pleased with her situation, knowing that she wanted these boys as her pack, even if y/n hadn’t gotten to that point yet.

After confirming that they’d be heading back to the dorm soon with y/n in tow, Chan hung up. Hyunjin jumped into action, finding a bag of hers, and then heading into her bathroom to collect anything from there that she might need for the night. He found a bag for her hygiene and makeup items in the bathroom, and filled that up, before placing it in the large bag he found. He then moved out back into the main room, looking up at her and asking what he needed to pack for her.

Minho sat the two of them up as she directed him on what to pack, and Hyunjin dutifully followed her orders. Once he had everything, he brought the bag over for her to double check, looking happy once she approved, glad to be of service to the omega. Minho looked at him, pride in his eyes as he looked at the beta, a silent ‘good job’ mouthed to the younger dancer.

Leaving the bag on the bed, he went to find her shoes, as Minho moved them closer to the edge of the nest and bed. Hyunjin came back with her sneakers, and knelt down in front of her. He carefully put her shoes on her feet, the omega looking down at him with slight wonder in her eyes at how sweet the two of them were being. Once he had finished lacing up her shoes, he stood up and stepped back, grabbing her overnight bag in the process.

Minho moved her off his lap, before he slid off of the bed, immediately turning around to reach his hands out for her. She took them, and he helped her slide off the bed as well, landing softly on the ground, as if she was farther off the ground than the couple inches between her feet and the bed. Hyunjin hurried back over to the door, grabbing her coat off the hanger, and helping her into it. The two idols donned masks, and handed her one as well that they nicked on their way out as an extra for themselves. She put it on to conceal her face. They left the hotel room, but not before making sure y/n had the keys to her room.

They quickly rode back down the elevator and left the hotel, starting their journey back home. They two men knew where they were going, and each of them holding her hand, they led her down the streets until they approached the building their dorm was in. Heading up the lift to their floor, the doors opened and they hurried to their apartment. They arrived at the boys’ dorm, but before they could open the door, it opened for them, an excited Han on the other side. 

“You’re here! Come in come in!” He nearly shouted, causing the others to come rushing to the entryway as well, Chan and Felix pushing their way to the front. The two Aussie’s kept everyone back so that the three of them could enter the apartment. The boys took off their shoes, as y/n followed them in doing so. 

Once everyone’s shoes were off, Minho grabbed y/n’s hand and pulled her with him to the living room. He sat down on one of the couches, pulling her down next to him. Felix claimed the spot on her other side, as Han pouted, before he sat down in front of her. That didn’t stop him from complaining about how unfair it was, to the others’ amusement. 

They all started chatting, in an effort to make y’n feel more comfortable in their presence. It worked, to their delight, and she quickly loosened up and joined the conversations. They talked about anything and everything, though the older boys had a lot of fun telling her embarrassing stories about the younger four boys, who retaliated by telling her the same kinds of stories about their elders. This caused her to laugh until her sides hurt, before chiming in with a couple stories of her own. 

Eventually, more yawns than words were coming out of y/n’s mouth, and the eldest two took this as a sign that the small omega needed sleep. 

“I think it’s time for some sleep, yeah?” Chan said as he came up to her, Han had moved out of the way so he could get closer. 

Y/n nodded sleepily, having a harder time keeping herself upright. Chan, after getting verbal confirmation that it was okay to pick her up, did so, before taking her to their pack nest, and laying her in the middle of it. The two omegas hopped in after her, softly talking with her and removing anything on her person that might make sleeping hard. Once they were finished, and moved anything out of the nest, they settled in on either side of her, keeping her between them. 

The three betas climbed into the nest next, Hyunjin on the other side of Felix, while Changbin and Seungmin stayed on Han’s side of the nest. Jeongin slipped in behind Seungmin with Chan capping off that side of the nest, as Minho slid in behind Hyunjin, reaching over him to feel Felix and y/n as much as he could. 

With how many happy and content scents there were surrounding the omegas, it didn’t take long before the three were out cold. The three betas quickly followed, Changbin being the last of the three to fall asleep, watching the younger ones succumb to sleep first before he could. Minho was next, looking at Chan before nuzzling into Hyunjin’s neck and peacefully falling into the hands of sleep, and Chan took one more look around, his alpha being the happiest at seeing all of them safe here in the nest, before he too slipped into dreamland. The dorms were finally quiet, and the nine of them were safe in the nest, where they couldn’t be harmed.

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[onyourhyuck]

LOWLIFE. | L.DH | PART 4

— Prologue: “It’s simple, Y/n.” He leans in his lips inches away from your face. “You don’t want to tell me the truth then we’ll have to go through this the hard way.” He smirks and pushed you even more against the wall. “Until you cry…” His voice was soft suddenly as if he was sweet talking you right now but you knew deep down he meant every word.

— Summary: Where your childhood enemy found your diary one day where you wrote all your dirty thoughts about Lee fucking Haechan.

— Genre: Smut. Dub-con. Stalker Haechan. Haechan’s the biggest red flag. Everything is consensual but it’s very dark here. Haechan’s very mean and he doesn’t care a lot. Hair pulling. Dominant Haechan. Pussy slapping. Overstimulation play. Degradation. Slight praise. Jealous and possessive Haechan. Y/n is a masochist. Haechan’s very much the sadist here. Mention of Jaehyun. Mention of Diary. Blackmailing.

— Notes: I am so sorry this took so long to publish. I am on holiday 😭 I have a lot of work to publish still oml.

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Its been weeks since you and Donghyuck made contact in any form. There was no life between the two of you. For some reason you couldn’t face Donghyuck not after what you guys did. Usually you would be okay the next with seeing Donghyuck pretending like nothing happened but not after this one. The situation that went in hand was something else. Not only did he get upset with you. He also said things that made you think a lot.

Made you realise that you might be in this one sided situation all along with feelings that are becoming unhealthy. Whenever your classes were mixing the both of you together neither of you spoke but it seems like you were avoiding him more than he was. At least he made some eye contact with you in some moments when he was talking to you, but you completely aired him and that could only cause him to be taken aback by your actions. Your presence usually was very much attached to him like a hard glue and now you’re a floating water who doesn’t even acknowledge him. What’s happened to you? Donghyuck was left becoming slightly confused and less by the minute he grew upset that you’re the one who’s ignoring him.

Everyone knows that Donghyuck was the one leading you on, even his two friends, Jeno and Jaemin knew he was simply using you. But now that you seem to have a mind of your own, you’re no longer under his command and control it seems like you broke out and you don’t want to have this one-sided thing anymore. Not even the diary makes you feel like you’re threatened by his blackmail. And so Donghyuck was the one feeling gruntingly attacked and frustrated by you and your actions.

It is ironic in a way, you were the one chasing him all those years trying to be his friend, trying to show your love and adoration for him and when he never gave a second thought about it, you disappeared from that view of being a crazy obsessed little girl now. You’re no longer that person, or at least you’re trying to move on from him and his toxic ways. Now Donghyuck feels compelled to chase you without a single thought running in that head of his. It made him think that perhaps he went too far with you? Maybe he did something you didn’t like and that leaves a sour taste and smell in his mouth just by thinking about that. He doesn’t even know why he was worried if he did something that you weren’t comfortable with.

It’s not like he cared before, so why should he care now? Donghyuck really wasn’t understanding himself and his stupid thoughts. He only had you on his brain nowadays ever since you keep on avoiding and dodging him wherever he goes. Even if he purposely tried to cross paths with you somehow, you turn your back to him and go the other way. What kind of person does that?

He feels some type of hatred for you, but not the hatred you’re thinking. He hates that you’re making him feel this many things he shouldn’t even be feeling. Was this guilt? Was this some sort of joke you’re doing this to him? He feels hurt. Donghyuck had never been the type of guy to feel bothered when he’s ignored he goes about his day and thinks it is what it is.

But when you’re doing this it’s difficult. He can’t move past this, so he wants to do something about it.

You’re listening to music as you’re walking past the school corridors now. You wore your usual school uniform and your hair was in a little low bun today. You could’ve be bothered doing a fancy hairstyle today and leaving it down wasn’t really fitting your mood right now so you decided to do an up do and just go about your day, move on, and as you’re listening to your playlist you go on the phone to press shuffle so another song can play on your headphones; as your fingers gently click the screen, you feel yourself bump shoulders with someone and your eyes widen as you look at the tall figure. He was handsomely dressed neatly and he looks very smart and kind. He had light coloured hair and pale skin, he looks like an upperclassman.

Your eyes widen ever so lightly realising you bumped into him and you grew embarrassed so you only bow your head ready to say something complicated because your voice was coming out like a stuttering mess. “I’m s-so sorry oh my god are you okay? You’re not hurt right…” your voice trails off at the end going quiet because you’re busy checking for any signs of injuries the older boy might have, but he lets out a soft chuckle and shakes his head.

You can’t change the feeling of being validated because the boy was asking how are you, he was quite bigger than you, and he was worried you might’ve broke your shoulder or something which he didn’t want happening.

“It’s okay, no worries, really.” He said and then looks at you up and down checking your body from just a little moment to check for any injuries too. “You’re not hurt right? I can take you to the nurse infirmary if you’d like.” He offers gently and you can’t help but smile ear to ear. No one has ever been this kind to you and even offered to take you to the nurse to get you checked out. He seems very polite— and gentlemen like. You somehow feel your heart skipping many beats at the handsome boy.

The boy can’t help but feel like your smile was surpassingly cute. You seem like a young innocent girl who doesn’t have many friends but he liked that considering you were so kind and emphatic. He likes your attitude especially how kindly you’re giving your time to check on him too.

You look down at your body and give him a soft approving nod. “I’m fine. Good as new still.” You tell him and he was quite happy about that. “What’s your name? I don’t think I’ve recognised you.” He was a senior so it’s quite known for him to know other juniors in the school however he has never ran into you and that’s probably because you prefer being a shadow. You don’t really like speaking to people in school, unless you have to. You don’t really like interacting if you’re being honest.

You’re always the quiet girl and you don’t mind that. You prefer it being that way since it’s easier to be quiet than to deal with people all the time. You learned that the hard way. Nonetheless Jaehyun seems pretty cool and you can’t help but feel yourself introducing to him.

“Y/n. I’m in Class 3E…” You murmur as you turn your eyes around the class door number in the distance and Jaehyun lets out a soft ‘ahhh’ as he now knows you’re a junior. His junior more like. “It’s nice to meet you Y/n. You’ve got a pretty name. I’m Jung Jaehyun.” His hand comes forward and you stare at it for a moment and you can’t help but smile if anything you were smitten over Jaehyun’s friendly demure he makes you feel safe.

And it certainly boosted up your low and tired mood. You shake his hand softly and then the hands let go unattaching themselves as they share a momentarily contact. Jaehyun smiles. “Y/n do you want to exchange socials? I think we get along quite well.” He beams and your face grew red with blush.

He wants to exchange your socials? He really said he wants to get to know you more and you’re just so bewildered. No one has ever asked for your socials before.

“I- oh yes okay, we can exchange socials I’d love to.” You say to him quickly as he was waiting for your time you seemed to be dazed in a way and he found that pausing reaction to be the cutest. So now your socials were exchanged when Jaehyun added your account and he smiles proudly. He was glad you wanted to give him your hand.

It just makes his heart ponder. You were very cute and you seem quite friendly and upbeat. Not many juniors he meets are like you. So he thought this might be fate he bumped into you today. You really cheered up his mood a lot.

And he cheered up your mood too it seems.

From the far on end distance would stand Donghyuck with a very glaring and dark expression almost like a dark cloud was over his head raining down on him and striking a blighted lighting down angrily. Hands tucked in front pockets as you and Jaehyun were walking now side by side and speaking. The way he hears your echoing laugh really bugs him and he wants to make it stop. Why was this bothering him so much more? He can understand you if you’re ignoring him and not speaking to anyone but if you’re ignoring him and now SPEAKING to someone he feels completely burned down like he was on fire, bathing in his anger.

Jaemin whistles as he knew his friends was enraged to the fullest and he enjoys seeing Donghyuck so upset. He told him before, that you were a keeper and you were only going to keep attracting men towards yourself. Because let’s be honest here, Jaemin and the other boys found you extremely pretty but you’re also very rare. You look innocent, you have this very doe-like energy about you, but deep down you’re nothing like that and that’s exactly what makes people like them so interested in you. They like that you’re coming out with two different sides to yourself.

He sighs patting Donghyuck’s shoulder. “Wow you got dumped by your pet.” The boy glared at his friend and slapped his hand away. “I didn’t get dumped.” He retorts back with a emphasised hiss. “She will come back crying to me. Watch her do that.” He said trying to be convincing but now it’s been a few days almost a week since you’ve been avoiding him; Jaemin and Jeno were really set on the idea that you’re not gonna come back anytime soon.

However his friends would not mention anything back and instead let Donghyuck huff in his own anger boiling over like an overflowing bathtub full of scorching water. He feels so much pressure in his head the fact you’re speaking to other guys as well now but you’re not speaking to him? It just hurts him knowing you’re not in his control and now all he wants is to have you back, being devoted to him.

“I will make you regret this Y/n.” He told himself. He vows to make you come back on your knees begging for forgiveness to spare you some if he can find any.

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You’re walking down the street not doing particularly much except being on your phone scrolling. You press on the Spotify icon and play your playlist that you spend your dedicated time making for yourself whenever you leave the house or go to school. You can’t go anywhere without listening to music, it’s like your life is based on around this playlist everywhere you go now and you’re not complaining. You have quite good music taste. Nonetheless you now make your way looking over the streets seeing cars driving past. It seems to be a traffic today. It’s raining quite badly too, it’s been gloomy these past days, you can’t help but think it’s to do with your mood too. Because now the weather is depressed and ever since you stopped communicating with Donghyuck, avoiding him at all costs, the weather goes sour. You try not to paint these coincidences to your situation. It might make you even more hung up on the idea that your silent treatment is too far. But you can’t just ignore what he said to you.

The words haunt you forever, even till now this day every night you’re hearing him repeat it to you like a religious mantra you couldn’t push out your brain. “You’re nothing but entertainment for me you do know that? The only reason I’m keeping you around is for your body.” He said those words to you, those horrible words that share nothing but your grief and your own one sided thoughts out down the drain. You wouldn’t believe him at first but you cannot shake the feeling these words have you.

You try your best to move on. But it’s like half of his heart is yours nowadays you feel not alive without him. You try to tell yourself time is the best healer, you need time apart, you need to move on and forget him already.

At least that’s your plan.

You break your own thoughts overtaking your reality and when you bring yourself forward snapping out of all overthinking you do you realise a car honking at you all this time. You look at them with a nervous apologetic smile and cross the road. They seemed quite upset with you, you didn’t realise they were making time to have you cross over, you got stuck in your own head: again. You want to sigh how much your own thoughts were drugged by this situation. You try not to think anymore. It’s bad enough that you stood there keeping a car waiting for you to snap back to the real moment.

Crossed over now, you walk down the another long road leading the neighbourhood opening. You see a bunch of houses similar to yours. The neighbourhood is quite similar in all designs the house provide. You couldn’t help but shake the feeling of the rain dropping down on your forehead now, against your glasses. You curse and take your glasses off wiping the water droppings by the hem of your sweater. “Great it’s raining…” you mutter at the horrible weather. You decide to put your bag over your head and start walking in the rain. Your school uniform wasn’t warm enough for this bad weather.

It’s meant to be near-summer why is it so rainy? You beg the rain stops but it seems to be getting worse now and you couldn’t help but wonder if this was some sort of accident happening to you. You listen to the heavy racket the rain makes against your cute leather backpack you bring to school, it was heavy and it starts to rattle like a glass on top of a washing machine when it’s washing a bunch of clothes in circulation.

The wind was blowing hard working with the ridiculous weather conditions. You swore the forecast is never correct. You start to think there is no point watching it if it is never correct about the weather throughout the day.

The downpour was so heavy that to be caught by surprise by it meant being drenched to the skin. Soaking every fabric to the skin like it was a piece parting of your body. Every droplet of water coming down on your beautiful hair submerges to your roots, wetting it, curling every strand of hair up. The gravity was thick and the petrichor smell of the rain surrounding the trees and the flowers fills your nostrils like the heavenly earth filling the air. The weather was a rollercoaster you couldn’t ride without the risk of becoming drowned into the ocean like a tsunami engulfs everything in the same way. It was so bad that you have no choice but to continue walking and accept this weather to your forsaken day and deal with it. You had to suck it up, and pray you don’t get sick in the process. You can’t help but admire how the cars driving on the road wipe the windowsill while they drive, or the houses getting wet and dirty by the heavy rainstorm.

The eerie feeling brushes down your spine. It’s like someone was watching you now that you made your way further you see your house nearby but now the, the moment your hips turn round to your side of the neighbourhood you live at. You feel two pairs of eyes on you. It was a weird thought that ran to your head. Why do you feel like you’re being followed?

It might be your paranoia, because it’s raining, today was a bad day. You feel quite gloomy too.

But the feeling was too strong to ignore. You turn around and look around the distance. You see zero people and a few cars driving past the road down. You don’t see anyone, but you swore you felt someone behind you watching you specifically. Maybe you felt like you were followed from the start but now you’re starting to grasp that.

You feel your throat going dry. “It’s probably nothing…” you whisper checking around with your eyes again just to out some reassurance to yourself.

Your feet turn around the heels and now your eyes widen as you were met with a dark gaze, a taller boy towering over you completely and you feel your skin growing deathly pale. Why have your legs gone completely numb at the sight of the boy you dread and love at the same time? Why was your brain half flight have fight? And why was your lips open wide but nothing coming out?

It turns out the creepy feeling of being stalked wasn’t so untrue afterall. You were followed all along by Donghyuck. From the moment school has ended he’s been travelling in your shadows and you were a fool to not even realise until your eyes took the surroundings in. Donghyuck knew you wouldn’t be able to notice him because of your earbuds in and that music of yours kept you busy for half a while. It’s a shame though, your priceless reaction wasn’t enough for him. Usually your silence was something he encourages.

But not today. Today he wants to hear you very much scream.

Donghyuck standing with a dark hood up covering most of his face but from where you stood and where your height was at you could see the dark grey cold eyes of his gazing into yours like it was your last warning. You might need a miracle to escape him now, you think to yourself. The feeling of your stomach turning and getting a cramp drags your senses to heighten maximum. He leans down whispering, crowing at your dumbfounded eyes and mouth wide agape like you were so shocked to see him standing right there in front of you. “What’s wrong Specs, got no where to run off to now?” Donghyuck mocks you down right back to your knees.

Your eyebrows rose at each insult he throws at you and you fiddle with your fingertips, the heavy rain covers your palms that dropped to your sides and your feet stopped working. You try to make yourself run, you try to do anything but you couldn’t do anything even if you tried your body stopped functioning. You wonder if it’s fear or if it’s excitement.

“D-Donghyuck… what are you… did you follow me h-here?” You want to curse. You want to be told to get your shit together but you can’t.

The sound of your voice aroused Donghyuck with the most intense and propounding cruelty to do to you. It’s the way your sweet voice breaks half way each word. You drag on your words at emphasis of your own fear he injects inside your body. Donghyuck very much loves the effect he has on you by just standing in front of your eye sight view. He wonders, if you get so stuck by watching him, what will you be like when he gets his hands on you finally after so freaking long?

You’ve been ignoring him for too long. Donghyuck wants to teach you a lesson on what happens when you ignore him. And it’s not going to be a very kind lesson. He ran out of kindness for you a while ago. “Clever girl.” He said, even though it’s a praise, it was a condescending comment that wasn’t a true meaningful compliment to you. Donghyuck trails forward grabbing your wrist that’s soaking with the rain, letting drops of rain on the ground by your cold and red fingertips. He spoke with a devilish smile. “I believe we have things to discuss, Y/n.”

You’re about to protest but the minute he saw you getting ready to say many things along the lines of saying no to him he just starts dragging you without giving you any chance to reject this moment away. Donghyuck can’t handle another moment of you ignoring him and he’s about to show you why you can’t do this to him. He was meant to be the sole reason of your affection and obsession, and he won’t let some stupid senior in upper class take that away from him.

You are meant to be his and only his. Donghyuck doesn’t like sharing what is his with someone who be doesn’t like. And even if he liked Jaehyun a little bit he wouldn’t of given you to someone like him anyways.

Usually Donghyuck wouldn’t be like this with you. He could care less about who you get and speak with. But now it’s different. Something within him changed and the boy was no longer something you could understand, he can’t even understand himself. You found yourself getting pushed inside Donghyuck’s front door to his house which wasn’t too far away from your neighbourhood. Either way you didn’t want to be in his house. The last time you were here you did things you want to forget. It just makes your stomach remember the things you guy do. The things he did to your body which is hard to forget.

You turn to the door that shut when he walks inside closing it behind. You gulp taking a step backwards. The both of you are soaked from your head to toes. Donghyuck can see your wet eyelashes, he found them more beautiful than before, and it was angering him that he was admiring your face that he couldn’t even see due to you ignoring him so long. It felt like a relief washed over his body when he finally saw your face. He found it more beautiful than last time. Maybe you were always this beautiful, but he never quite took notice until now.

And it’s killing him. He’s viewing you differently.

Donghyuck doesn’t understand where it all changed. When it all changed. Why it all changed.

“Donghyuck I don’t want to… I don’t want to speak to you.” You finally tell him when the courage in your heart and body was found. You’re even surprised you have the guts to tell Donghyuck this. What surprised you even more is that the boy wasn’t responding. Was he admiring you? You thought it was strange how quiet he is while facing you with a different pair of eyes watching you from another point of view low. You can’t help and shake this weird change.

Nonetheless you were now pressed against a wall with your wet clothes. The school backpack belonging to you fell somewhere on the ground. It was wet, every part of you was wet actually and his face shivering from how cold your bodies were when the rain was pouring down outside on you. “I think you’re lying Y/n.” Donghyuck spoke in a very low but soft voice as his hand caressed down your jawline and to your chin. You pull your face away trying to escape all those little touches he does to try and hypnotise you.

You feel his hot breath and low voice so irresistible to you that it is hard to ignore. You’re surprised you have even this much restrain in yourself because you feel quite weak whenever it comes to him. Even Donghyuck was now amused by your response. It is very different now. He’s enjoying your playing hard to get persona now.

He smirks seeing you completely dodge the touch his hands made against your soft beautiful skin on your face. “You don’t need to lie to me… let’s stop this push and pull game alright, before it gets messy.” He warns you deeply now.

Although Donghyuck was using his sweet voice on you. You feel so crushed by this and you narrow your eyes at the boy in front of you. He was like a shadow in front of you. So unpredictable. So untouchable and absolutely maddening to you and your self consciousness.

He poisons you and every right decision. He makes you do the wrong choices but they feel so right all the time. You can’t shake this feeling when you’re feeling your cherish able heart beat to every thing Donghyuck does to you. It’s like your heart feels so much more alive, when you are around him.

You feel your teeth stick together as you spoke out to him once again, you heard him say this, that you’re lying about not wanting to speak to him. He wasn’t wrong. But you can’t do this cycle with him, the words he said to you haunt the back of your mind up until now. “I am not lying, Donghyuck, I don’t want to speak to you.” You tell the boy in front of you. Donghyuck let’s out a quiet low snicker. “Oh yeah?” He said leaning down to your face. He can see a reflection of himself become enlarge in your wet glasses.

He gentle smirks. He found this new side of you to be quite entertaining. Donghyuck can’t help but think he’s going to have fun getting the truth out of you now. “I guess we will be here for a while now.” You heard him suggest.

“What?” Your innocent voice lets out quietly in the silence and dark hallway as your back is pressing on like a cement statue browsing on the wall against it while Donghyuck is a towering figure watching you with his glowing enticing eyes. Watching like a predator found a new sign of prey they cannot let go off. He finally found you again all to himself — he won’t stop now. Not now that you’re looking so beautiful with your fearful expression he sees while your glasses and your wet curls are there enchanting him. He must say he was a fool for not realising how pretty you look now.

It seems like you are confused. Donghyuck’s voice trails like an incoming train ready to take a roll ahead on the railway tracks ahead. It hit you like a hard brick when he goes to explain exactly the tiny little steps he will do now. “It’s simple, Y/n.” He leans in his lips inches away from your face. “You don’t want to tell me the truth then we’ll have to go through this the hard way.” He smirks and pushed you even more against the wall. “Until you cry…” His voice was soft suddenly as if he was sweet talking you right now but you knew deep down he meant every word.

You held your breath in when Donghyuck engulfs you into a passionate kiss that seems so loving at first. You were shocked he could kiss you in such a way. He was possible of kissing and treating you so nicely even if it was for a moment you feel yourself forgetting this was Donghyuck with the way he kissed you. When your lips touched his it felt so foreign. He made sure to take his time with you but at the same time there was hints of impatience and quickness. It was sweet, but dangerous at the same time. It’s like he wants your love, he was your love on him and only him. But you couldn’t help yourself but lean your head against the wall as Donghyuck’s hands brace themselves on your jawline holding it. The thumbs on the side press on your cheeks opening your mouth a little more access so he can slip inside his hungry tongue, ready to explore you in another hundred different ways.

Your thoughts all consist of many things such as: ‘This isn’t Donghyuck,’ or ‘Who was this boy?’ And you wonder the same thing. Donghyuck seems like a different person now and the mayhems he was brewing were over the top of the kiss when he pressed in deeply against your lips now. He made sure to kiss you so deeply your breath was sucked out of your body and you were feeling weak enough for your knees to tremble where you stood pressed latching on the wall that he made you go on. Donghyuck closed his eyes tight savouring his lips on yours. It was like a longing for him.

He loves hearing your little moans when he starts to lower his lips on your bottom lip pulling it apart lightly and then sucking on the exposed skin. He leaves a reddish love bite on it when the process was over and you groan closing your eyes as your head leans back against the wall. Donghyuck shifts the attention away from your mouth and now on your neck. The smell of your curly wet hair reminds him of the earthly rain outside, he didn’t hate it on you, the petrichor smell. Donghyuck’s tongue crawls down your skin on your neck, pressing wet kisses on it now. You feel your entire body going into a frenzy of shivers and pleasure. “Tell me you want more?” Donghyuck smirks as he still keeps his goal in mind.

You clench your eyes tight. “No.” You firmly told and Donghyuck smirks liking that you didn’t give in at all. Usually you wouldn’t waste a moment. But now you, you weren’t head over heels rushing in completely to him. Donghyuck was left thinking if you were doing this because of that senior earlier, Jaehyun, it fills him with some bad vibes from you. It would be a problem if you fell for someone that wasn’t him.

“Why?” He croaks against your neck now as he lifts his head up facing you with a dark glare. “Why, Y/n?” He asked once again with a snarl. You furrow your eyebrows, as you remember what happened the last time. You had the urge to tell him.

But you couldn’t bring yourself to explain why. You wonder if he would even care about it. And so you would rather stay with your own thoughts and not put the energy and effort to tell Donghyuck.

Donghyuck heard your lack of response and so, he starts to make scenarios up. He will know by your reactions if it was true or not anyways. He can read you like an open book when he catches you red handed. “It’s because of that senior isn’t it?” He comes closer to your face. “Jaehyun, right?” Your eyes brush against his now that he came closer saying Jaehyun’s name.

You furrow at the words as you’re now realising that Donghyuck was jealous. You couldn’t believe it. He was. Someone who would never be jealous was now jealous when it came to you and it sends your heart into some sort of pride overload.

“You’re jealous?” You say back with your eyebrows moving up on your forehead. Donghyuck glares at you. “I am not.” He said gritting his teeth at you. You push back with your words now. “You are. How did you know Jaehyun and I are friends?” You blurt out and Donghyuck looks down at you pulling on your hair gently, he tugs it and moves you around on the wall.

“I saw you.” He said simply and you grunt against the hair pull letting out a soft wince. You look up at Donghyuck, he was jealous, you saw it when his eyes tremble as you questioned him earlier. “You’re getting too comfortable thinking you can do and say what you want, Y/n, i would never get jealous.” He grits his teeth once again. “And even if I did get jealous, I have every right to.” He said brushing the free hand against your cheek. “Because you’re mine, no one else’s.” He seers in a rather greedy way. You never seen him like this before.

It didn’t take a moment for Donghyuck to lift your skirt. Instead of taking all your clothes he only rolled up your skirt taking a look at your black panties and he smirks watching your cheeks go red as he looks up at your eyes. He brushed over his hand. The clothed clit touching the very thin fingertips and you let out a little bit of a wince and a nudge. He saw you react quite well and he happens to enjoy seeing the struggling expression when he cups your area again now fully. “This pussy is mine, not Jaehyun’s, Y/n.” He reminds you again as he slips off your panties. You weren’t even aware of how cold you are when the fabric leaves your body dripping to your ankles and the way his cold fingers insert themselves to your insides so well — it shocks you deeply.

“Cold… cold…! Donghyuck.” You yelp and he saw your eyes widen. Donghyuck’s eyes up watching them dilate when he pushed the fingers of his within your walls as he smirks ear to ear. The movements became frequent leaving your soaking walls to squeeze and squeak. Donghyuck is loving the sounds you make, similar to ocean waves, they go back and forth in his control movements. He likes being in charge of your body, a lot more than you realise. You’re against the wall with your leg up on the side as you’re getting your walls pressed and stretched out, you’re loving how he feels so deep within you. The idea of his cock being this deep or even more drives you insane. He whispers. “Admit it. You wanted me to come to you like this.”

“L-like what? Admit what.” You said back between your voices changing the sounds as the way you’re being used against the walls like this. It strikes your body with many different layers of emotions you cannot process all at once. Donghyuck smirks as he slowly leans in, keeping the two fingers now deeply buried in your cunt wet dropping like strings of thin and thick slime. He watches your juices fall down resembling the heavy rain outside on his fingers and down your thighs and the floor in his house. “Admit that you wanted me to reach out to you and speak to you first. Admit that you wanted me to get jealous when you spoke to Jaehyun today.” He stares into your eyes deeply serious. He spoke with full attention on you. He darkly slants to you. “Admit you wanted me to say sorry first, Y/n.”

Your body reacts to each syllable and words he spoke to you before your voice and mouth could even answer Donghyuck. Your walls clench and your juices pour out making his eyes go darker shades of brown as he watches the sight of light happen in front of him. He can’t help but think to himself that he will never ever get tired of seeing you orgasm so much over his hand like this. As you orgasmed you held in your last bit and Donghyuck smirks seeing you try to shorten your orgasm as it’s become too much all at once. The boy brushed his hand and slaps the top of your swollen clit. Your pussy flinches in the process and your orgasm snaps fully and you release entirely now that he slaps your pussy for a good two seconds. It didn’t take long for you to let go fully.

You murmur out in broken moans in all desperation now as he slaps your centre completely down below you shake. “Y-yes! I admit it! I- I wanted you to say sorry… a-and i wanted you to approach me…” you let out a sigh as he stops taking another glance at your reddish cheeks and your eyes full of overflowing pleasure, he smirks again, leaning in. “And?” He adds softly in a dark powerful and controlling tone.

Your eyes trembling meet his. “And… I wanted you to get jealous…” you admit softly as you look down at the mess you made on his hands. Donghyuck tauntingly pressed his fingers against your mouth making you taste yourself on your own face. “Clever girl.” He praised you once again. “So you do know how to listen after all…” he trails carefully at you.

“Legs up sweetheart. I’m not done with you yet.” Donghyuck goes grabbing your legs and needing you to cooperate you do exactly that weakly pushing yourself more on the wall and wrapping your legs round the waist. He unbuckled the clothes down to his ankles and looks down as his long harden length coming out instantly, springs up, your eyes focus on the way his tip getting sucked inside your wall makes you groan by how you’re watching him enter you so well. You never knew you could get returned to such a pleasuring moment. You told yourself you won’t do this again. But you lied and now you won’t even listen to your previous statements because you’re enjoying the way Donghyuck was rutting inside you like you’re nothing but something to be used of his own pleasures. He treats you with so much roughness but at the same time, something was different.

He was more possessive of you now. He was much more sweet about this too. He took his time with you here and you feel yourself getting overstimulated the more this continues. He held your hands against the wall as he rocks to your inner core. Your eye contact was made multiple times he even dazed into your eyes only to lean in to give you a deeply pleasing kiss. You weren’t sure what made him so much more expressive in this moment. He wouldn’t even express himself before, but now?

The more this went on Donghyuck wanted to hear specific words coming from your own mouth with your very own voice. He looks at you getting close to your climax and he was coming close too however he didn’t care about his own orgasm for once.

For once he cares about what you’re going to say when he suddenly stops moving and your orgasm was ticking at the door. You were literally itching to orgasm and you let out a frustrated sigh when your eyes faze over at Donghyuck.

You were confused as to why he stopped to torture you. Donghyuck stares deeply and your confusion was cleared up when he speaks now, revealing what exactly he wants from you.

“Maybe you should call Jaehyun to help you cum.” Donghyuck adds in a mean tone.

Your eyes widen at such a beckoning demanding answer he gave you. You panic and see him pulling back but your legs wrapped around his waist stop him from being able to leave your body completely alone. You grab his clothes with your hands now desperately shaking your head as you look like you’re about to cry.

He was glad to see this reaction. Tears. He always loved seeing you cry because of him, and it makes him proud.

Donghyuck laughs seeing your reaction a little darkly. “Why are you crying, Y/n? Do you feel what I felt now when i saw you and Jaehyun speaking but you refused to talk to me for so long?” He mockingly said to you and you close your eyes tightly as the tears fell down your cheeks. “I-I’m sorry please, please don’t leave me here, I want to cum so bad I wanna cum.” You blabber on so much he can see you’re losing your mind in the process.

“Tell me why you ignored me.” Donghyuck darkly asked you once again as he brushed his fingers around your body. You are so itching for your orgasm you can’t even get it anymore because he won’t move until you answer his questions.

You huff out. “Because this whole thing is one sided. You might think I’m just crazy obsessed with you but I love you…”

It feels weird to say it out loud. You never really said the three words to him before. The simple word ‘I love you’ is pretty much a new thing to him and you now and when you said those, Donghyuck’s eyes widen and lit up as he watches you.

“You love me?” Donghyuck treads carefully against your neck planting a few kisses on your skin. They cause you to shudder a little wave of electricity down your spine. “Oh Y/n… you think this is one sided?” He laughs a little now.

He brought his face and held your hands on your hips now pushing you deeper in causing you to let out a longevity of your moan echoing through the walls. Enough to even make his neighbours hear your cries and your moans mixing together like a heavenly carpet tapestry on the wall.

“There’s nothing one-sided about this in the beginning.” Donghyuck begins, now forcing a thrust inside you once. “Wanna know why?” He croaks with a little groan. You murmur a silent sigh into your palm as your eyes widen watching the ceiling get bigger with the first long thrust he gave inside. “Because I loved you first, from the very beginning since we were children, and when I left you…” He smirks watching your eyes widen in confusion as he reveals that all along he’s loved you, but then he left you alone so suddenly when he realised he loved you. You couldn’t shake that imagination anymore and you shake your head not believing him.

Donghyuck grins satisfied by your respond. “Not believing me?” He says with a short smirk. “Why do you think i’m here apologising for my actions here?” He stated and you open your mouth with a pant as he keep on thrusting your body into the wall you are pressed upon. “Y-you… loved me all along?” You said with shock running on your voice, wild and confused.

The bodies you pressed one another your orgasm snaps at the end and he can feel your juices pour around his cock pushing inside your pussy. He feels himself releasing now from his twitching tip all the muscles contract and he feels a long groan stringing out by his beautiful honey voice. He pressed his head against your shoulder grabbing your hips right as Donghyuck was dizzy from the large orgasm you made him get. Your body feels so amazing it creates a side effect for him.

“Y/n…” Donghyuck begins with a soft sigh. He pants as he raised his head up meeting yours again. “I’ll ask you once again, only one last time.” He says watching you with a pair of softer eyes.

You focus your all efforts on your eyes watching him with a clear vision. Donghyuck sees you are listening now and he clears his mind as he asked the final question.

“Do you still love a Lowlife like me?”

You see him waiting for your answer as if his life depends on it and now you give him a slow nod. You didn’t change your mind on Donghyuck, and now that he even reveals he left you because of his deep feelings for you, it makes your heart flutter. He was horrible all along to make sure you never knew how he feels. But little further in the end he was the one falling for you even more.

“Yes…” you say with your voice. Donghyuck’s ears perk up as you answer him vocally too and he leans closer kissing your lips only for a short moment before pulling away. He held on to your thighs you wrapped around his body.

He loves the taste of you, who seems to be a biggest Lowlife he knows now, for loving him all along too.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

@onyourhyuck please refer from translating and copyrighting my work thank youu! Follow me for more updates it helps a girl out. <3

[bless-my-demons]

Redamancy: Chapter Four

Jasper Hale x Reader

Series summary: What happens when your soulmate is a vampire that struggles to maintain a diet of trying not to kill you? Common sense says run for the hills, nothing is worth your life - but my heart is whispering why not, what’s there to lose?

Warnings: Almost-car accident? Talk of getting smushed by a car.

Notes: Finally, a little something-something! I’m trying to post on the weekends to have some sort of schedule, but I have zero impulse control… so here it is a day early!

Word Count: 2146

Series Masterlist

• January 25th, 2005 • Forks High School •

Jasper

Not only am I lucky enough to spend lunch with Y/n, but some godly force must be watching out for me in that today’s history assignment allowed me to team up with her and learn more about her.

Her energy is absolutely fascinating and it almost worries me that I’m internally compelled to want to spend even more time in her presence. Two days and I’m already a goner, Emmett is going to have a field day interrogating me tonight.

Which leads me to now, after completing our history assignment with only a few minutes to spare, I’m escorting her to her car in an effort to prolong this addiction to her attention.

“Where are you from?” I ask, curious to know anything about her.

“Texas. Well, Dallas more specifically.” She’s still watching the ground as we walk, nervousness pouring from her.

“Why Forks? You couldn’t of picked a more completely opposite environment.” I miss my home state, and if it weren’t for my adversion to the sun - I would return.

“My parents divorced.” She continues before I could apologize for the intrusive question, “Happily divorced and I protested the whole ‘stay together until she graduates’ bullshit.” Fingers gesturing around the air quotations.

She trails off after that, circling back to our history assignment that no doubt has her still worked up. The Civil War, I cringe internally at today's topic since it’s a sore one for myself - having lived through it and fought in it.

“All I’m saying is, maybe history class should be more focused on the lessons learned, than just the events themselves.” She states rather passionately while inserting the key into the lock on the driver’s door of her car.

“To recognize and avoid in the future.” I respond, leaning my back against the rear of the small vehicle as I scan the wet parking lot packed with kids.

“Exactly!” She pops her head up, an excited smile in place as she garners my gaze again.

But just over her shoulder my eyes flick up to catch the sight of a blue van headed our direction a little too quickly for such a busy spot. A car horn blaring has her turning in its direction and the gasp I hear across the parking lot from Alice sends me into action. I grab Y/n by the waist and spin her against her car, so that my back might take the brunt of the hit, but it never comes as the rear of the van just barely slides past us. I relax the grip I have on her and tear my eyes from hers as I spin my head in the direction of the vehicle, ready to yell at the driver for being so reckless. The words die in my throat as I see where it’s headed - straight for Isabella Swan.

“Bella!” Y/n screams, but it’s lost in the screech of tires and the headphones in her ears that are keeping the outside world out.

Just as I’m about to damn us all to save another girl from this idiot driver, Edward flashes past to stop the van from crushing the Sheriff’s daughter.

“Fuck.” I whisper, glancing back to where my other adopted siblings are standing next to their own vehicles - faces unreadable, but emotions blaring alarm.

“I’m sorry, I have to go. Please be safe getting home?” I ask her urgently as I peel my fingers from where they want to stay gripping her, safe and close to me.

“But Jas-“ she starts, a little shell shocked at my quick action of saving her and the close call with her friend.

A whistle from Emmett interrupts her before she can interrogate me, so I flash her an apologetic smile before jogging at a normal human pace to the familiar silver Jeep. My hands flex in my lap the entire tense ride home, warm and tingly from when I gripped Y/n to protect her fragile little human body.

If we weren’t vampires already, this family meeting about to take place would definitely give Carlisle a full head of gray hair.

• January 26th, 2005 • Forks High School •

Reader

“Hey, mind catching me up on what that was yesterday?” I immediately bombard Jasper as I sit across from him at what I’ve mentally deemed ‘our table’ at lunch.

He glances up from his sketchbook with a look that says he wasn’t prepared for my blunt line of questioning.

“The saving you from certain death part, or?” He leaves open ended for me to clarify.

“The part where Bella was alone next to her truck, but your brother teleported to her side AND somehow the van skidded to a stop right before turning them both into pancakes?” I’m not pulling my punches with my queries, after having spent last night stewing over what I had seen.

“He wasn’t that far from her when I moved you out of the way, I must’ve distracted you enough that you didn’t see him walking to her after he got out of class. Plus, the van wasn’t going that fast, maybe when it hit the back of her truck the tires got traction and he could brake properly.” He answers, turning his gaze back to his sketch and resuming his work.

I don’t really buy it, but I mull over my recount of yesterday afternoon as I pull my lunch from my bag. Was I so focused on Jasper the moment he put his hands on me? Was I so soda-strawed in on Bella being in the way of the van that I missed Edward?

No, something isn’t adding up. I know that van was hauling ass in the parking lot, I was going to yell as much at the idiot driving before I saw it headed for Bella. But I can also tell I won’t be getting the answers I want from Jasper. I can tell from the rigidity of his spine that he’s worried I’ll ask more questions. I mean, his recount of the accident isn’t out-landish, but I know what I saw!

I need to talk to Bella.

“Yeah I guess that makes sense.” I acquiesce. I see him deflate a little with relief as I pick at my peanut butter and jelly sandwich. “Thank you for saving me, by the way.” I add nervously, a little heat working it’s way onto my cheeks.

Jasper glances up to my face and with a small smile, “Anytime Y/l/n, anytime.”

• January 27th, 2005 • Forks High School •

Reader

“Bella!” I yell down the hallway, catching her as she slams her locker shut. I jog over to her as she turns towards the exit, everyone that has Mr. Banner for Biology is going on a field trip today.

“Hey Y/n, what’s up?” She questions, seeing the look on my face.

“Tuesday, parking lot, what the hell happened?” I jump right into it.

“Tyler must’ve lost traction-“

“That’s not what I’m talking about and you know it. Edward was nowhere near you.” Cutting off her redirection. “Jasper won’t budge, he insists I was distracted and didn’t see his brother before the accident.”

Bella glances around the hallway and decides to pull me into the empty female bathroom for some privacy.

“Edward is avoiding me, I was asking him the same questions when I was at the hospital and he refused to answer.” She answers nervously.

“It’s weird, right? I mean, one second I’m unlocking the door to my car, and the next Jasper spins me around to protect my body with his. And then I see Edward jump over the tailgate of your truck when I thought Tyler’s van was going to end you.” I’m just rambling the thoughts that have been pinging around the last two days.

I can see her hesitate, “You can talk to me, you know? I kinda don’t have any friends besides you, I mean - if you want to be friends?” I tack on the last part, worried I’d over stepped.

“Yeah no, of course - I um, I could use a friend to vent to.” Bella glances down at her shoes, picking at the sleeves of her sweater as the both of us exit the bathroom. “He’s coming on today’s class trip, I’ll talk to him then and see what I can find out.”

“Perfect, want to sit with me on the bus?” I ask, walking out of the building for the student parking lot where the buses are waiting.

“As if I’d risk getting stuck sitting with Mike Newton, absolutely.” She jokes back. “I’m going to grab my book from my truck, I’ll be there in a sec - save us a seat!” She yells as she jogs to her vehicle across the parking lot.

As I board the first bus I can hear Mr Banner yell at everyone loitering in the parking lot, “Yo yo yo, hey guys c’mon! We gotta go, we gotta go! Green is what? Good, let’s go!”

A few moments later Bella joins me in our claimed seat, book in hand looking a little frazzled. I see Mike pass us with a forlorn expression on his face, “Oh God, what happened?” I ask.

“He asked me to prom and I told him to ask Jessica, please don’t make me talk about it.” She answers with what I assume is a shiver of discomfort.

I want to laugh, but I just grin instead. “Your not-so-secret admirer fumble is safe with me, Bells.” I knock my shoulder into hers to tease her a little as I crack open my own book I brought for the bus ride.

• Community College Greenhouse •

Reader

Walking alone in line through the greenhouse, my hands drift over the different sprouting vegetables. Behind me I can hear Mr. Banner giving a spiel on “compost tea” and how its derived from table scraps and other organic waste. Every now and then my fingers float over the soft petals of flowers placed sporadically through the hundreds of food-producing plants; earlier it was explained that they encourage pollinators to visit.

Even though I’m a smidge lonely since Bella is hanging back with Edward, I’m glad to be surrounded by greenery instead of stuck in a stuffy classroom.

Just as Tyler Crowley pushes past with a clear mug of what looks like poop/dirt water, I spot Alice just ahead standing to the side of the isle with Jasper to allow students to flow by. When I get within arms reach, Alice loops her elbow through mine, almost like she could sense my loneliness.

“So,” she drags out the word cheerfully, “Enjoying the plants? Fresh air? Freedom from school?”

“Oh absolutely,” I glance over my shoulder at Jasper following behind us silently. “I’m surprised you’re not off in a corner doodling flowers, Hale.” I catch him duck his head and chuckle under his breath as Alice watches our interaction, surprised.

“And isolate myself away from your commentary? Never, Y/l/n.”

“Oh, Emmett’s opinions on your drawings are too much, but mine aren’t?” I smile as I turn to look at new plants as we pass them in our slow walk through the final greenhouse.

“My brother isn’t nearly as interesting.” His response catches me off guard and if it weren’t for Alice’s grip on my arm I would’ve stumbled on the wet concrete.

“As I live and breathe, Jasper Hale flirting-“ but Alice doesn’t finish her sentence due to Jasper snaking out a pinch to her ribs, her flinch forcing our hold to separate. Before I could chide Alice for teasing her brother for just being nice, Edward storms up to the three of us.

“Ready to leave?” He glances between his siblings, pointedly ignoring me so that I wouldn’t feel the obligation to join them.

“Edward-“ Alice says disapprovingly, but he pushes past us without waiting for an answer. She looks at me apologetically before skipping after him.

“Sorry about my brother, he’s insufferable when he’s in a mood.” Jasper offers as explanation as we watch the two of them exit the greenhouse.

“I get the feeling he’s always in a ‘mood’.” My fingers emphasize the last word with air quotations and it draws another chuckle from the gorgeous boy at my side.

“Touché.” He says with a grin. “I better catch up before they ditch me, see ya around darlin’.” He weaves his way through the crowded isle and out of sight before the heat settles in my cheeks.

I manage to file outside and towards the buses with the rest of my class after I gather my wits. I spot Bella already in our shared bus seat with a sad expression. “Wanna talk about it?” I ask as I sit.

“Not right now.” She answers, turning to look out of the window.

Next

[wen-kexing-apologist]

I am being so so sincere when I say that Episode 10 of The Miracle of Teddy Bear has just secured a spot as one of my favorite BL episodes of all time.

What a fucking compelling, complex, brilliant, and contained piece of work. I am really really loving the dimensionality they bring to Nut and the way that he engages in his relationship with Tofu and his mother in this show as a whole and in this episode especially. Seeing Mathana so calmly, sweetly, and sincerely inquiring about Tofu and Nut’s feeling towards one another, in a way that felt completely absent of judgment only to immediately be met by Nut’s anger was fucking phenominal! The Miracle of Teddy Bear has been handling trauma, and trauma response so brilliantly across the entire show, but Episode 10 was a stand out example of how the writing for this show and Job’s performance as Nut really add so much nuance and flavor to this story and this character. 

I feel like so many BLs are hesitant to let their romantic leads harbor a lot of anger, but not The Miracle of Teddy Bear, Nut’s anger is explosive and it is fast. Nut can go from zero to one hundred in a blink of an eye, in a step, in a breath and that all stems from Nut’s history as a survivor of abuse. His father was extremely abusive, and incredibly homophobic, and his mother was a victim of that abuse as well and as a result was unable to protect Nut from all the shit his father put him through. And she was raised in a generation that was told there were rules and was never allowed to question them. She learned pink is for girls and blue is for boys and does not have any answer to a question of “but why?” nor does she have the space in the household with Sib to ask that question herself and realize there is no legitimate answer.

I believe that Nut is fundamentally a good person, but I absolutely adored how much of this episode really navigated us through Nut being an absolute piece of shit to his mother, his friends and their family, and his partner as a result of his history as a survivor of abuse while also showing us this timid, terrified, simp of a high school boy having his first romance. Especially because for me it really highlights how much of this anger that Nut has stems directly from whatever events ended his relationship with Tarn. At no point in the flashback to a very short, and incredibly sweet BL within a BL have we seen Nut angry, he is only capable of fear that his family will find out that he is gay. It runs so counter to the hair trigger rage Nut carries with him in adulthood. When I saw the way Nut behaved at Gen’s house, I legitimately had a moment where I was just so incredibly thankful that Gen’s parents are as kind as they are and seem to constantly provide love and support to Nut even when he is being a terrible guest and misbehaving at the table because his anger runs so deep he does not have a handle on it. 

From a writing and messaging perspective (I feel the need to clarify lest you think I support this kind of behavior in real live) I love, love, loved that Nut was using Tofu without Tofu’s permission and in many cases to the detriment of Tofu’s own comfort to the point where Tofu actually breaks in his own dedication to Nut and has to drag him outside to talk to him about generational trauma and the ways in which he is perpetuating cycles of abuse in his own household. Because that is a fundamental message of this show. Mathana and Saen are manipulated out of their relationship by Jan, Mathana feels pressure to get married because of her mother’s perceptions of the role of women in society, and as a result marries Sib who she doesn’t love, which contributes, I think, in part to Sib’s future abuse of his family because he knows his wife is in love with his brother and not him, with a major contributor to the Sib’s violence in the household being the perceptions of masculinity. 

Side note: One of my absolute favorite recurring motifs in this episode was the use of bars to make everyone feel trapped in the flashbacks of abuse.

This episode shows us the ways in which Nut has internalized some of the beliefs of his father, when he tells Tofu essentially that his mother failed to steer him away from being gay, when that is obviously an impossible task, and so expertly lets the anger of this episode be fueled by those beliefs, the resentment and frustration that stems from Nut having to serve some level of caregiver role to his mother because of her mental health, and Nut’s current inability to see the bigger picture and understand that his mother was also a victim of domestic violence in that household who did not have the ability to stand up for herself and her child all at the same time. And it is also so easy to understand why Nut is not able to see his mother as a victim in every absolutely heartbreaking flashback we get to little baby Nut looking up at his mother while he is being abused just absolutely hoping that she will do something more than stand there and watch it happen.

Nut is trying so desperately to get a reaction out of his mother, to prove that this anger that he has, that this pain that he carries from this piece of history we don’t even have the full story for yet is real, is justified, and that change and healing cannot happen. But it can. We haven’t even seen the events that lead to Nut’s break-up with Tarn yet and we’re already getting so much information about it from the way that Nut enters that coming out scene already fighting, already assuming his mother will have a problem, screaming at her and not giving her any opportunity to speak. And then getting mad at her when she doesn’t say anything about him being physically intimate with Tofu in front of her. Which I’ve already said was incredibly well written because Nut is so focused on his own anger it takes time for him to understand what he is doing to Tofu. 

And even when he leaves, when he goes to Gen, when he hears the reason and the sense, and admits to the fact that he was in the wrong, that unjustified justified anger doesn’t go away magically, his behavior isn’t automatically fixed. He knows that he put Tofu in an uncomfortable position, and then continues to do it anyway because there is no one that can drive you to anger faster than a parent. And I for one am so grateful this show is letting Nut leave shrapnel in his wake. 

I am truly so impressed with this episode and with the entire show so far. If you did not jump on the Miracle of Teddy Bear train when @lurkingshan and @twig-tea were watching it a few weeks ago, please take this as a sign you should attempt it. I know it’s long, but GODDAMN IT IS SO FUCKING GOOD.

[cinnanamii]

Ganjis 3rd year birthday letter and the heavy mischaracterization of the characters in game 3/just ranting about the birthday letter

(⚠️⚠️‼️THIS POST WILL BE DISCUSSING LEAKS/SLIGHT SPOILERS FOR GAME 3 OF IDV!! IF YOU DONT WANT TO BE SPOILED ON GANJIS 3RD YEAR LETTER OR GAME 3, SCROLL AWAY PLEASE! AND ALSO KEEP IN MIND, I AM NOT A GAME 3 EXPERT! IF I GET ANYTHING WRONG FEEL FREE TO CORRECT ME!!‼️⚠️⚠️)

Ganjis 3rd year letter was leaked recently (you can probably find post about it on tiktok and on discord servers) and I am so far beyond unimpressed and disappointed.

To start out this yap session/rant, I’m going to list the characters serial numbers, so that you can know who I will be talking about so that you can get a grip on what I will be discussing.

• 3-1-2 is anne

• 3-?-1 is aesop

• 3-1-4 is ganji

• 3-?-3 is Victor

The fact that netease decided to fill the letter with shock value racism, ruin annie as a character, and just ruined Ganjis character arc, and basically made Victor useless is so BEYOND me. This is a a lot, so I wanna start by talking about the blatant mischaracterization of annie and ganji in this letter.

To start off, they made annie so unnecessarily, hateful and racist towards ganji. It would make sense for annie to be afraid of loud noises, as they did introduce her as a timid woman, but making her afraid of ganji and becoming violent to him because of his accent is so beyond me. The whole reason why annie attacked ganji was originally because aesop manipulated annie into hurting him, not that annie got scared of the way he spoke? Plus, due to her timid and sweet girl type personality i could never see annie physically fighting/attacking ganji, it’s just not something that would happen. How could she ever have the confidence to do that, when she was literally scared of ganji? Then, on top of that, annie wouldn’t be provoked by his accent so easy? In her trailer, she was literally described to be like her mother, who was very nice, that being a trait annie had. So for her to just go attacking him so so EXTREMELY out of character for her.

Then, next screenshot I’m showing right now is the shock value racism randomly put in this for god who knows why?

“unfavorable impression” caused by 3-1-4’s accent? This is so ooc for annie, it feels like a poorly written oc/au. The antagonization of annie feels so unnecessary and just not needed. Game 3 might not have had a Hunter, but it did have an antagonist, that being aesop. The whole antagonization doesn’t feel right for her at all.

Then now, I wanna talk about Victor. One of the main things in game 3 is that they were not able to talk or communicate with each other. if they were able to do that, what’s the point of him even being here if they could already speak verbally? His writing was already kinda not the best, but this entire letter takes whatever relevance he had to the plot away. He needs to get something consistent, or else in this case his character is just useless. It’s completely unfair that aesop is able to get clear motivations and goals, but the other characters goals and aspirations just get handled horribly.

Game 3 was so unique in the way it functioned, and with the characters that were so similar, but so different at the same time. What could have been a group of compelling a deeply well written characters now feel like a dumpster fire or mischaracterization and the severe lack of coherence. All just from one letter too. This feels like a big fat slap in the face for me as someone who loved game 3, and all of the characters for game 3, ESPECIALLY annie, and if you loved game three, also this should feel like a slap in the face for you too.

**im aware that this is a leak, and it could be potentially false, but this has been on my mind practically ever since I heard of it, and everything is just so absurd.**

edit: the letter was updated and changed, a few things did change (examp; annie isnt racist anymore) but that dosent mean I don’t have issues with the letter, I’ll probably make an updated post eventually if people r still interested in this

[raine-witcher]

I have finished Spirit of Justice and I have OPINIONS:

These are not going to be at all well organized instead will be tangent filled and disorganized af. Bear with me.

First of all the trilogy itself id describe as a…interesting sandwich, we have a rocky depressing start but with absolutely solid new characters. The absolute masterpiece of Duel destines being a completely amazing set of cases consistently. And then…this absolutely devastating rollercoaster. I think the cases in Japanafornia are solid, great cases. While the first 2 cases in Kura’in are…they’re pretty bad, especially the 3rd case of the game. And that issue is entirely because the characters from Kura’in are incredibly uncomplying. Nahyuta is a complete asshole and hypocrite who shows no signs of his change. And Rayfa is a spoiled brat. Neither of these characters change until the last half of the last case. That. Is. A. Problem. Why should I care about their changes when I haven’t seen a steady pattern of growth from them? Instead we get coin flips. That’s not compelling that’s a waste of my time having to read their stupid. Boring. Dialogue. I hated Nahyuta so much I stoped voicing him for a while in my play though. The best way k can describe why he sucks is because he wasted 4 dialogue boxes to just say he likes peaches. He drags on about nothing. After following the incredible acts of Gavin and Simon the best was I can explain my disappointment is by pointing out how both they before him had the ability to admit when they’re wrong and be helpful in a case. Nahyuta said Trucy was a sinful being pretending to be a cute little girl. That’s not a great introduction when we know Trucy is far from that. They keep saying he’s “kind and generous” but they show no action confirming that idea. The writers forgot about the core rule of “show don’t tell” that man was awful constantly and consistently. So when we get to the final case, I don’t give a single flying fuck about his feelings or change of heart. Because I’ve been given no real reason to care. Speaking of the 5th case. Oh my god. I cried so much about Dhurke. And part of me is upset because that proves the writers could make a character worth bringing me to tears and he had so much less screen time then Nahyuta or Rayfa. So they proved they can write characters that don’t suck ass from Kura’in. So I’m just all the more disappointed. Finally. I hate Apollo staying there. And that’s for multiple reasons. One, I don’t like the kingdom of Kura’in. Best way I can explain that is due to the fact it doesn’t have its own voice as a distinct country. I can clearly tell it’s a large melting point of every country from the east. What am I supposed to latch onto if it doesn’t truly have a culture? It’s biggest defining feature is it’s hostility towards me. So my reaction is to want to get tf out of there as fast as possible. Secondly as I’ve stated. All the characters in Kura’in are fucking boring. Or annoying. Or whatever. I don’t want to spend my time talking to them. Therfore I don’t want to be in this location. Okay two. I love Apollo. And I’m terrified that he won’t be a main character in the next game. I don’t want him to come back as a cameo character in a single case. He is a core part of the main 3 I’ve come to adore and I want him to be there. As a main character. Consistently. And I don’t know if he is. And I’m worried. So the ending made me feel bittersweet, upset, disappointed. This cast I’ve come to know as a family. And then being together is important to me. Is that stupid? Personally Idgaf it’s my feelings and I’ll get myself attached to what I want. I will criticize the writers for these decisions because they’re also written an amazing franchise that I’ve come to adore incredibly. I care about this game and it’s characters and I want to see them together. The end of duel destines where they all 3 point together left such an impression on me. As an artist and a character designer (not professional in any sense but it’s what I love to do) I respect the fuck out of the creators for making the cast of Wright anything agency. But the fumbles in Spirit of Justice have me concerned for the next game in the franchise. I hope to be proven wrong in my fears.

[checkoutmybookshelf]

The Immortals Quartet

Time to chat about another of Tamora Pierce's beloved heroines and one of her early quartets. This is also the quartet that--in my entirely subjective experience--catches a lot of guff for its romance subplot. But we'll get to that. These are some of my favorite books of Pierce's, and I'm pretty sure that I read these after the Alanna and Kel books, although they were her second published quartet, coming before Kel. Let's talk The Immortals Quartet.

Veralidaine Sarrasri, unlike Alanna and Kel, is not originally Tortallen. Our girl is Gallan, and when we first meet her in Wild Magic, she is recovering from bandits sacking her village, burning down her house, and killing her family and all their animals. She's also desperate to hide what she thinks is a form of madness from every human she runs across, which gets really complicated when Numair starts teaching her how to harness her wild magic. And for just a hot second, can I say how much I love Numair in this series? He has just as much character as Daine and I am never NOT here for phenonemally powerful mages who are also basically oversized puppies.

Getting to watch Daine develop relationships with Numair, Onua, Alanna and George, the royal family, and the Queen's Riders is such fun, and so well done that when Daine finally feels safe enough to explain why she sometimes seems recalcitrant about her magic lessons it feels immensely earned. These relationships also become immensely foundational to the rest of the series, as does Daine's b-plot but still really compelling arc about hating Stormwings.

The Stormwing arc really finds traction in Wolf Speaker. In my experience, most people say that In the Realms of the Gods is their least favorite Immortals book, but for me, Wolf Speaker takes that prize. Not at all because it's a bad book, but for me it's the most forgettable of the four. Daine and Numair are investigating sus nonsense in Fief Dunlath, and there are blood rain and shape shifting/mind riding shenanagins and Daine begins to have holes poked in her Stormwing prejudice courtesy of Rikash Moonsword. It's a fine book, and the subplots with the wolves and ogres are compelling, but for whatever reason this book does not stick in my head.

The book that does stick in my head and is unequivocally my favorite of this quartet is Emperor Mage. This book follows the Tortallen peace delegation to Carthak, and geopolitical and divine shenanagins ensue. Dain's relationships with Kaddar and Ozorne--and particularly how Numair and Ozorne's history colors both those relationships--are again central to the plot. The Graveyard Hag is also actively throwing broom handles between the spokes of Daine's wheels by giving Daine the power to bring skeletons to a seeming of life.

That gets absolutely amazing because the Graveyard Hag wants Daine to reanimate human skeletons, but Daine makes the PHENOMENAL point that humans forget literal walking nightmares really fast. What humans don't recover fast from is when you literally raze their centers of government to the ground, including food stores, records of all kinds, and the freaking treasury. So instead of making human skeletons dance through the streets, Daine reanimates DINOSAUR SKELETONS and wrecks absolute shop. It's amazing, I wouldn't change a thing.

The other thing I love about this book is Numair yo-yoing between being an experienced intelligence operative and black robe mage and a complete idiot. He is tangled up in plans to free slaves and overthrow Ozorne and yet he still somehow manages to forget all of that and swing at Ozorne when he suggests that Numair is banging Daine. Numair. Honey, sweetie, friend, you cannot be THAT much of an idiot. And the best part is, at least three other characters call him on that idiocy. This book is fantastic.

In the Realms of the Gods is the book that, in my experience, gets the most flak from fans. My experience has been that people object to the student/teacher dynamic between Daine and Numair deveoping into a romance and the significant age gap between the two characters as the romance develops. People also seem to feel that this book is too long and drags in places. I don't tend to find that the book is draggy and long, but that tends to be a very "your mileage may vary" thing for readers.

In terms of the age gap and student teacher dynamics, I want to start off very clear: In real life, student-teacher relationships are never ok, are always predatory, and I do not support. However, to paraphrase Red from OSP, not every book that shows things that aren't unequivocally morally good do not need a "Do Not Try This At Home" sticker on the cover. Books don't have to be morally instructive, they don't have to show the best possible healthy relationships, they just have to be interesting. And honestly? I find Daine and Numair interesting. On top of that, Tamora Pierce is aware enough as an author that Daine and Numair actually do (however briefly) discuss the potential pitfalls of the age gap between them. They don't address the student/teacher thing, but then I wouldn't expect them to because that's not the relationship they have in this book. They are more partners than student/teacher. All this to say, I can understand why people dislike this romance, but I'm not here to throw shade, because honestly I enjoyed it.

I also enjoyed meeting and learning about Daine's parents, exploring the literal Realm of the Gods and all the wibbly wobbly timey wimey chaos shenanagins, and the conclusion of Daine's Stormwing arc. (And how dare Pierce make me cry that hard over Rikash. That was uncalled for.)

Overall, I deeply loved this quartet, and Daine is a welcome change from the very martial Alanna and Kel. She also represents an evolution of the magic systems in Tortall, which was really compelling and refreshing.

[elderflowergin]

Hello, hi. I hope that you are well and I hope you don't mind me kinda rambling in your inbox. I see that you've watched The Double! May I just say as great as the show was, I think I have one niggling issue with it, maybe two. The og Jiang Li was forgotten in the end and not even her father mourned her for real - as much as I love that Xue FF got her justice, that poor girl died not knowing that she was loved. It would have been nice to see her father, at least stand by her grave or something to remember her. Then Wanning(poor girl best girl mean girl)! I hate that she died like that. There was no way she was ever going to concede power to man after the treatment she received in that other kingdom, I don't even think that she wanted to corrupt Sheng Yurong, but her trauma will not allow her to trust or yield to man for any reason and I am so curious as to why she trusted her brother to be emperor knowing that she detests men in high positions. Lastly Jiang Li's fake pregnancy ploy was beyond cruel, of course she had no context, but to Wanning, it was everything. I cried for her. My heart broke her. Despised by her own people after what she endured for them, maybe a a little madness is not unrealistic. I cried when she cried. Wept with her. I hope this makes sense. Anyway, wish the show had more space for all three of them. That's all.

hello hi anon! I’m good! And I completely agree with you - I didn’t write my concluding thoughts on the show here (I did it on twitter) but yes, real-Jiang Li never got her due, and XFF’s reveal to Jiang Li’s father gave short shrift to the girl who suffered for ten abusive, lonely years. And I don’t think redeeming Jiang Yuanbai was fair to Jiang Li’s righteous rage at her total abandonment - Ji Shuran may have been the agent of destruction, but she managed to commit all these horrors because Jiang Yuanbai was a lousy father and husband. This man’s negligence led to the deaths of two wives and two children! Crying for thirty seconds of screen time is not enough imho.

Wanning’s end was indeed gutting to watch, and the only point at which I was weeping too. She’s sacrificed so much for her kingdom and suffered far more than anyone can imagine, and yet these grand old men turn up their noses and avoid her because she didn’t wield a bow and arrow. No wonder Shen Yurong’s meagre gesture meant so much to her. My guess is Wanning did not have enough power to drive succession - the men around her don’t trust her or think of her as smart, including Lord Cheng and yes, the emperor, and she’s nothing more than an inconvenience to be handled. I think Lord Cheng only pretended better than their younger brother does, and I guess being full siblings close in age helped them build a bond.

The fake pregnancy broke my heart as well, and I know it was aimed at saving the Yan, but it was so cruel considering Wanning’s backstory. How much indignity did she suffer, my god, and for LI JING to loudly mourn her! Blech!

I have to admit that all things considered this was an incredibly entertaining show! I enjoyed so much of it, and I was especially surprised that I enjoyed watching Shen Yurong. I find TV misogynists to be very boring - how many different ways can you hate women, after all? - but he was a compelling character till the end, like layers of a rotting onion. I’m hoping someone picks up Wanning’s plot and writes something that does her justice.

Thanks Anon, for giving me an opportunity to talk about this inexplicably compelling show!

[splatooshy]

a peek into my notes app.

file: 🧛‍♀️😜

tvdu oneshots mixed with opinions. completely different from my ‘tvdu opinions’ file and my ‘bloody hell! silly oneshots’ files. this is only 1/4 of the file.

damon in guyliner

y’all the witches go on about how vampire evil vampire must be stopped and then they take away someone’s magic for stopping said vampire

Damon just licked his lips in anticipation. "Oh, you know how I like having things pushed inside me, don't you?"

“You can’t avoid me forever, Damon!” Elena warned. “Maybe so,” he admitted, “but I’m still gonna try.” He darted around her, blurring towards the staircase and sliding down the banister, mentally shouting ‘parkour’ in his head. Damn. He’d been spending too much time around the little Gilbert. And teenagers in general. “Parkour!” Jeremy cheered from the couch, cradling a bowl of cereal like it was a newborn. Yup. Too much time around teenagers, Damon thought as he rolled his eyes.

“I just don’t get it,” Matt grumbled confusedly as Caroline walked away. She wanted to talk to him. Now she was walking away? First Stefan yanked Elena from him and now Tyler had taken Caroline. He and Elena had been on the verge of getting back together until Stefan showed up and stole her away. And just when he was seriously reconsidering his breakup with Caroline, Tyler was suddenly swooping in and taking her from Matt. It wasn’t fair.

ok but the locker rooms at the batting cages in denver 🤭

“Pretty boy?” Stefan spluttered. “Well, you are kinda pretty.” Elena shrugged into the mirror as she applied eyeshadow. “She's not wrong, brother.” Damon piped up from the doorway. “You’re a little bit pretty.” He patted his brother on the cheek and went to join Elena at the mirror, snatching her eyeliner with a triumphant grin. “I'm not pretty!” Stefan denied with a small whine. “Not compared to me, no.” Damon smiled sweetly, turning to reveal those blue eyes, now rimmed with black kohl.

s1 damon / eternal teenager verse: “Why is it she’s always telling you to leave her alone when she’s the one seeking you out?”

damon: “My father used to say I had the devil in me, but really it was just my riding instructor.”

someone (jeremy) gets runic tattoos with elena’s doppelganger blood because they want to be the avatar.

“Oh my god, it’s a room full of Elijah’s.” “I had that exact same nightmare once.” OKAY but put that line in tvd and Damon then goes “Really? I had a sex dream about that.”

“you really are quite the little slut, aren’t you, Damon?” The velvety croon of Elijah’s cultured voice makes it sound all the more dirty, and Damon can’t help but let out a small moan as he nods. “Very good,” the Original murmurs, and oh fuck. Elijah can do whatever he wants with Damon as long as he keeps talking like that.

“That’s so hot.” - Damon, every day. Alternatively: “Anyone else a little turned on right now?” // any time he gets pinned to a wall, he whispers “traitor” to his dick.

sassy elijah vs sassy damon except they kiss.

“Now, what am I going to do with you?” “Something terribly naughty, I hope.” delijah.

dabekah are essentially cats. very sassy ones. like a slinky black cat and a fluffy white one

idk some wedding, kol gets confused with american accents and brings a bear trained to carry rings

compel the president to make random holidays

kol and rebekah watch the hunger games and decide to do a real life version, compelling the tributes

“Klaus and Stefan pulling another devious act,” Klaus gleefully mumbles, high on the wolfsvain(™️) joints Damon and Kol had invented. Stefan just stares at him for a minute, silence filling the room as they blink in tandem.

 elijah walks into the boarding house, kisses the girls on their hands. damon holds out his expectantly, and smiles deviously when elijah actually kisses it.

[scaly-freaks]

Kind of going off your post about how brown and black characters in HOTD and GOT are completely wasted or demolished or turned into a crude caricature.

Ummmm the HATE that is thrown towards Elia Martell is absolutely absurd. The way they hate the idea of this character and are honestly happy with how her character was destroyed is so telling and disgusting.

The hatred and discontent is so real and frightening and we saw a glimpse of that with those leaked texts from some random discord. I guess what I’m just trying to say is racism is far from dead and it’s seen in this fandom.

And yes the entirety of Arianne Martell’s character being a seductress is insane.

Also wanted to mention that the only other time I’ve seen brown characters in the show are as brothel workers. Of course nothing wrong with that sort of work. But it’s the sexualization that’s creepy.

Yeah. Yep. It's just depressing. Sometimes I find myself accepting it because it's so normal at this point, but then I'm like...no???? I hesitated making Amara Dornish and visibly non-white because my own self doubt made me want to . I thought eh I'll just make her from the Riverlands or something, it's less complicated. But then I make her, and people love her and it's not an issue (it's just stuff I've internalised over the years thanks to how society is set up). Which obviously goes to show the people who create our media are deliberately fucking up representation so that we just stop asking. They can create compelling characters that are centred they just don't want to a lot of the time.

That being said, British TV that specifically isn't popular outside of the UK, represents non-white characters quite well and doesn't turn them into caricatures of their culture/ethnicity (at least most of the time). In this case I am talking about American productions and non-British audiences.

On the note of Elia Martell...a lot of the times she is fancasted as Indian. Stereotypes about Dorne are also stereotypes used against Indians ('she smells Dornish' - no two guesses on what Aerys meant). I've seen Indians be used as punching bags for racism by every other race as if it's a free-for-all, to the point where very horrible and very real issues like misogyny in India are treated frivolously and with 'oh well they're all just like that.'

The mistreatment and racism against Elia has real life parallels because of the otherness of Dorne, and since Dorne brings to mind South and Western Asia so much (the way they hid in caves when the dragons came is very reminiscent of Afghan guerilla tactics and their tough terrain that invaders can't adjust to) that's usually the area of the world I associate it with.

It's all very other other other and now pair that up with snow-white daddy Rhaegar and his lily-white, dark-haired Stark girl (because mind you, I understand white blondes have had issues with how they're represented as slutty caricatures onscreen and brunettes as more clever and by extension more desirable in the long-term).

Elia didn't stand a chance against two white people pairing up, and that is honestly the only time when I'm like "you know what, stop fan casting her as desi." The woman is raped in front of her children and watches those same kids die in front of her, and even that isn't enough to stop the cruel jokes.

And yes, absolutely, there's nothing wrong with being a brothel worker. I adore stories about people in the grassroots, brothel workers especially, just trying to survive and get by in the world. But watch the brown workers be immediately depicted as more "comfortable" with this lifestyle, and just naturally promiscuous as compared to their white counterparts.

Meanwhile irl, if the brown person in question is a Muslim for example, their values in terms of modesty are mocked and derided and deemed an extremist 'other'. And then I guess you can be a Mormon in Utah and be just fine.

I honestly don't know if any of this made sense, or if I articulated without room for misunderstanding. Trust me, I do think about this a lot. I'm Kashmiri, and I've lived in England all my life, and my dating pool has mostly been white because that is what's more available. I've dealt with fetishisation/sexualisation (never for the ethnicity I am which most people couldn't even guess...uhhh hilarious) and it's forefront on my mind despite my active decision to leave it out of my fics as much as I can.

It can be very cathartic to talk about, but sometimes I'm like, you know what Amara, I'll take this extra little bit of suffering away from you bc girl you're already dealing with a lot (Aegon)

[yellowocaballero]

obito fic 👀?

HELL YEAH BABY. HELL YEAH. I HAVE JUST POSTED THE 70K OBITO FIC GO READ IT.

Naruto. Man. Very treasured aspect of my childhood. I've written a few fics now that are about an influential childhood media or character, and they always have such a unique quality about them. But I love my BAMF!Sakura fics so much. You Call This A Utopia is for her.

I talk a little bit about the specialness of that useless little girl in the author's note, but #justiceforSakura has always compelled me - on one level, just such wasted potential as a character, but on another level, it was one of my very early frustrations with sexism in writing. I wanted to live vicariously through her, to use her as a self-insert power fantasy like all the boys got to do with all the male Naruto characters, but even if she's a chakra master (!) and genius doctor (!!) who can wreck mountains with her fists (!!!) she was never quite able to make the tween girl readers feel special, because she was never valued. BAMF!Sakura fics were how I was able to have my little kid power fantasies in my favorite good-bad shonen. Today, if I'm reading BAMF!Sakura fic I am spiritually watching Saturday morning cartoons and eating sugar cereal and crying.

I didn't have very strong feelings Obito until I read butter_peanut and realized that one could hypothetically make him the most fascinating fucking character. Naruto fic writers are so creative and magnificent and better than Naruto. I do vaguely remember Tobi being my favorite Akatsuki character, because he had so much personality and was a lot of fun after Naruto got kinda serious. butter_peanut having Tobi say the word "bestie" truly inspired me. After writing him I now understand them completely, because I have happened to discover that he is the funnest fucking character.

I feel insane. Like a precious few people know and understand that Obito is so much fun to write. I love writing insane people and we know this but Obito is truly on another level (he is a villain in Naruto and you cannot match that level in any other fucking series). He is genuinely so unhinged and he genuinely believes that he is a normal person. He is so fundamentally broken and it is so funny.

What caught me about Naruto villains - because this is Naruto, it is interesting in theory and so stupid in practice - is that they are almost all, fundamentally, good people. The goal of most Naruto villains is "create a better world with no war and only love and peace". Which means that you have to be a special kind of nuts to be a Naruto villain, because you are a good person who got so incredibly fucked up and twisted by your incredibly violent life that you are now an evil schemer who is trying to blow up half the continent. The evil in Naruto is on a systemic level, not a person one. You Call This A Utopia?! is fundamentally about this. Except stupid.

Tobi is also one of the most challenging but rewarding characters I've written. FUN FUN FUN. Lots more to say about literally all of this. For now I'll just say that I'm an adult, so these days I gravitate to adult POVs. Obito is the adult's window into a kid's world. But Obito is honestly an overgrown kid himself. Let's see how that all plays out.

[c2-eh]

Oh my god I'm so so sorry eva. It completely slipped my mind. I was going to follow up with what I wanted. I was trying to be dramatic. Girl (gn) I'm terribly sorry. But I was going to ask you to please give me your entire versainz thesis cause oh my god "after the battles comes the reward" was such an amazing fic. I was just going to ask you not to gatekeep your versainz brain and give me all the thoughts you had about them. I'm reading to read essays. The fic was amazing. The personalities were so contrasting to each other and at the end when Charles and max see each inherent and that whole moment was so guckin spectacular. I loved the whole thing. That's all I wanted to ask. Once again really sorry for leaving you hanging like that.

<3<3

i'm so so sorry anon for leaving you hanging like that, but i was not in the right place to answer and i wanted to answer this properly!! also don't apologize so much it's fineee!! :)) i should be the one apologizing because of how long this took 😭

okay so first of all thank you so much, i'm so happy you liked the fic!! <3 i have to put it under "keep reading" because i went kinda insane with it hehe

so my versainz thesis is partly reflected in the fic. i don't think it is appreciated enough how great their relationship is after all these years – even after all the "alleged" bullshit and toxic atmosphere that was going on in toro rosso (the toxic versainz was jos and sr, no one is changing my mind). they were each others' first teammates, they kinda eased into the whole f1 world together – young and eager and trying so so hard to beat each other because that is what you do, no? they tried to prove themselves (especially in the team that would get them to RBR) and still managed to be friends, to respect each other and that stayed with them till today. they both are sons of famous fathers so the expectations and pressure was even worse (from public? NO, from their own fathers) so that is another thing to bond on. why? one understood what the other was going through and he got why the mood was swinging here and there every day, and why the mood depend on if "he" was at the race.

another thing is that i am sure carlos was max' gay awakening (max wasn't carlos' because carlos was dense and way too convinced his dad is the god (iykwim)). they might not have been bestest of friends (they still kept their distance because they did not know having friends in this sport is ok), but you can see by every single of their interactions how much they respect each other. they have very contrasting personalities as well, which is so very compelling to me. as i portrayed it in my fic, max is all "no bullshit guy" when it comes to racing and he is not afraid to be blunt and tell how things are. all while carlos is calmer and more well spoken. if we combine them, it is perfect balance. i see max as the one that is overprotective - when he talked about how carlos felt in vegas 2023? that moment is integrated into my brain forever. on the other hand, carlos is the one that is calm, stands for what's right and protects his loved ones, but does it with more grace and peace. they just fit so well, because they are the definiton of thunder (but not really) vs calm (but also not really) (but for that we would need another convo lmao).

i just think these two are the definition of "right person at the very wrong time" because they understood each other (and still do), but the time was not right – too young, too soon, so much responsibility, distraction and so on... there are SO many things that speak so loudly about these two. like, they are not even "getting back together" trope, but "finding someone you loved again and it is finally a right time". also max is soft – soft and giggly but not many know it, but carlos does. and carlos loves it, which makes max even more soft.

the fact they started together and saw each other win – carlos even was right there (literally next to max, might i add) when max won his first wdc. the hug is so personal to me to this day. they just love each other, thank uuu

i would pay good money to have these two as teammates again to see the relationship and the dynamic and how it shifted now they are older and more experienced <3

so sorry it is so long actually haha, love u anon ! sequel to that versainz fic will come in the summer!

[railingsofsorrow]

hi maybe do a klaus mikaelson x daughter!reader angst. reader and hope are the same age older pls!! maybe that reader! and hope get into a fight physically and use their powers against each other and maybe the reader or hope gets hurt. and we get blamed at and screaming and maybe daggered by our father. by our cruel actions against each-other . but our uncles and aunts prevent it from happening. ^idk im bad at storyline plot XD. reader daughter is a witch you decide :p

Always and Forever

A/N: hope is a bit of a dick in the beginning, just a heads up.

A/N²: thank you for this request I loved writing it! sorry for taking so long to post it, university is burying me alive.

summary: you and hope have a quarrel. there's spilled blood and a few apologies.

pairing: none.

w.c: 3K

warnings/content: mentions of a major character death; lucien castle (I fucking hate him so it's a warning); mention of minor characters death; siblings arguments; description of violence; blood; injuries; gore; lots of angst; happy ending.

navi

masterpost

[requested]

.ˏ⸉ˋ‿̩͙‿̩̩̥͙̽‿̩͙.ˏ⸉ˋ‿̩͙‿̩̩̥͙̽‿̩͙.ˏ⸉ˋ‿̩͙‿̩̩̥͙̽‿̩͙ ˏ⸉ˋ‿̩͙‿̩̩̥͙̽‿̩͙

“I am so done with you, Hope.”

The storm your feet were causing against the wood of the compound reached your family's sensitive ears quickly.

“Oh, you're done with me?” Your sister followed your harsh steps, earning a glare from you that you didn't need to look back at her for her to see it. “Is there anything else you'd like to tell me? Like how stupid I am for making a decision? Isn't that what you always say anyway?”

“And you still don't listen!”

Rebekah was the first one to protest from the living room where a bunch of compelled men were being ordered around to redecorate the place.

“Girls, pitch it down. I'm trying to do some redecorating here,” her unhelpful jab was promptly ignored as you yanked the door open, the sound echoing through the room. “Hey!” Rebekah stared at your angry breeze in indignation. “Do not ignore me—”

“Come back. We're not done talking.”

Then, just as you were in the middle of the street, you went back inside the compound. Or rather, pulled back by an invisible force.

Did Hope just used her magic on you? Did she just—

“Say it. Say what you think. What you have always thought about me. Go ahead.”

“Hope.” Warned Elijah.

Your eyes narrowed into slits as your fists clenched, “Do not manhandle me with your stupid magic, Hope—”

“What on Earth is going on here?” Kol peaked below from the bannister. He could hear the screaming from ten miles away and he was trying to take a nap for goodness sake. “I thought we didn't have children in this family anymore? You know,” he starts to descend the stairs slowly. “It was the best day of my entire life when you both quit the shrieking phase—”

“Then don't turn your back on me when I'm speaking.” Hope said, completely ignoring Kol's irrelevant input in your argument.

“You sound just like Dad. Maybe that's why you bond so well. The reckless and the paranoid.”

Hope scoffed.

“Is that jealousy I hear? What, the second child couldn't accept the scrapes of left-over love?”

Finn arrived in the living room just as your whole demeanor switched from angry to numb in less than a second. The workers had vanished, Rebekah's doing because she read the situation previous to the outburst.

And she did not want an outburst. Less alone from you, a witch-in-learning since your powers had gotten out of hand due to the Mikaelson's last inconvenience — Lucian Castle.

He had done a number on you. The magic that used to run free and controlled through your fingers now felt like electric currents burning inside your veins. Not in a good way. Long story short, your abilities were in time-out. Until your emotions take over and you lose control.

Which was what was happening in that moment.

“Hope,” Rebekah walked towards your pair carefully as Kol and Finn watched from afar. “That's enough. Why don't you take a walk—”

“Why do you never stay on my side?” Hope snapped at her aunt, finally breaking your stare.

Rebekah let out a sigh, “I'm not taking any sides here. You both have got to take a minute and discuss this later.”

You could feel the slight twitch on the tip of your fingers.

“Do you remember how many people I've lost because of her, Aunt Beks?” You asked, the corner of your lips raising. Hope gave you a roll of eyes. “Some by choice, because I chose her above anyone else. Blood is thicker than water, right? Then, some because they were collateral damage. Why? Because the fucking world revolves around Hope Mikaelson?”

Hope's expression morphs into annoyance, “It was not my fault they died!”

“Of course, not. Who would've thought there would be consequences for your actions, Hope?”

“You're unbeleavible. You told me it wasn't my fault. You!”

“Well, I lied!” You marveled, taking a step foward as anger seeped within your body. “I lied when I said that it wasn't your fault. I lied when I covered for you all of those times. In fact, I lied when I said I'd always be on your side. I'm so done with your selfishness, Hope. Because although you're my sister, you've hurt me more than any other being has hurt me!”

A warm hand attempt to tug you a few steps back. You barely acknowledge it.

“I never asked you to do anything, you've made your own choices. Don't come blame me for it. If the people you care about were hurt, that's on you. Not me.”

“Enough.”

Your father's voice caused the both of you to freeze in your spot. Hope shoulders sagged as she let out a huff.

“She started it. I'm just telling the truth.”

“Shut up, Hope,” you exclaimed in exasperation. Your patience wearing thin. Everyone could feel your powers praying to be unleashed.

“I said enough!” Klaus's tone might have been final but your argument was far from the end.

Elijah said your name when he noticed the your eyes darkening lightly.

“You know what?” Hope took a few steps towards you. She, too, could feel your magic and a little sly smile grew in the corner of her lips. “If it weren't for you, mom might still be here,” even though she whispered, every vampire heard the affirmation and tensed.

They should've acted sooner. But now it had gone too far.

Just as she had moved you like a marionette previously, you raised your hand and threw her body next to the closest wall. The force created a ruptured in the outline of your sister, who let out a groan.

Your name was called in warning. You couldn't hear if it was your Dad or one of your uncles. You knew it wasn't Rebekah because she was already helping her dear niece out of the mess you made.

Too late.

“Say it again.”

Before she could use her own magic, you used your vampire speed to push Rebekah away and grab your older sister by the neck.

“Go on, Hope,” you shoved her in the adjacent wall. Why did no one was trying to stop you? Well. They were busy being held thrown in different areas of the house by your out-of-control stupor. “Tell me how I'm to blame for her death. Tell me how I have scrapes of our family's love. You got it all first, didn't you? I arrived to take it away? Is that what you thought? Is that what I am? A leftover?”

Hope's groans of pain didn't phaze your unstoppable strength, nor did her beaten-up face or her bleeding nose. You smirked upon seeing the glint of annoyance in her bright blue eyes. The color shifting towards yellow slightly. You were practically taunting her wolf.

“A leftover daughter, right, Dad?” the jab directed at your father wasn't unnoticed. “I'm sure he'd agree with you on that, sis.”

“Bitch.” Hope let out a sneer and kicked you on the stomach.

“For fuck's sake!” Kol used his vampire speed to push Hope out of your reach as Finn grabbed you by the shoulders. “That's enough. Both of you, stop.”

Ripping out a piece of a chair, you grabbed the pointed wood and stuck in his heart. His shocked expression didn't brought guilt to your chest, not when anger was still the bigger emotion gripping you wholly. You created an invisible barrier to keep anyone but Hope away. And when your sister is about to sink her hybrid teeth into your arm, you lift her from the ground with your powers.

You drowned out all the protests and focused on squeezing her neck with your mind.

“I'm so sick of you.” She struggled to breath. “I'm sick of being left out. I'm sick of being on the receiving end of your problems. I wish you weren't my sister!”

It was all too fast. Hope's body was released and she fell to the floor like a ragdoll. You walked slowly towards her. She wasn't completely weak, just recovering from being cut out of breath for a few minutes. At any moment, she could surprise you with the little souvenir of a deadly warewolf bite, one you didn't have the cure of because your warewolf gene was never activated.

You weren't scared of her. No. You didn't feel anything. Just frustration. All anger anger anger anger.

As your hand sinked into her chest and she screamed out in agony, satisfaction slipped through your fingers. Your sister's blood in your hands may have been the prettiest art you had seen till today.

Then, a gasp echoed throughout the room.

You blinked in surprise as you felt a cold, thin metal etched into your back. The stinging of the blade made you let go of your sister's heart and stumble back. Your vision blurring slightly.

“Shh, shh, it's okay,” your dad's arms were the ones you fell into as you moaned in pain. “You'll be fine.”

“What are you doing?!” Rebekah exclaimed. “Pull the dagger out, Nik. Now!”

“This is your daughter, Niklaus!” Finn took her side as he helped Kol to his feet. He had been the one to take out the stake out of his chest.

Hope stared at your unconscious body as her own healed. It was turning gray little by little, the blood from her chest painted in both of your hands. The lifeless expression should've brought her relief. It did for a glimpse of second. Then the guilt arrived like a bucket of cold water.

She didn't particularly like you at that moment. She wanted you dead, quiet, unmoving. But the images of your daggered family through decades flashed in her mind. Their unfamiliarity with reality. Their numbness with life all together.

Hope didn't want that for you. You were her sister. Even if you tried to kill each other occasionally, even if she hates you some times.

It was her fault.

“Dad,” she croaked out, “Dad, pull it out,” her tone had an edge of desperation, the situation sinking in.

Has it gotten that bad that their father thought this would be the only solution? “Dad.”

“We have to find a way to control her.” He said calmly, caressing a few strands out of your bloodied face.

“You're not protecting her like this, Niklaus. You know this isn't what this is.” Elijah attempted to step closer. “We can handle the matter,”

“Don't say that.” Kol gazed up at him with bitterness. “Don't call my niece a matter because you can't admit the truth.” He didn't care that you had just literally stabbed him through his chest. You weren't aware of your surroundings, of what you were doing. He knew how that feels like. Not being in control was an all-too-familiar place he had been before. “We can help her without inflicting pain. She's struggling. She was tortured, Nik. The girl is traumatized. Do you think it will help if you keep her away for— what, how long this time? Three, seven years? She's your daughter. Snap out of it.”

“She'll regret you for the rest of her life if you do this.” Rebekah let out. Everyone turned to her. “I almost did.”

Klaus's eyes flickered to your peaceful demeanor for a moment, hand pressed against your cheek softly. He looked up at Hope, her desperate matching blue irises silently begging him.

A leftover daughter, right, Dad? Had he made you feel like that? He couldn't tell. Ever since Hayley died, he crawled into a wheel of uncertainty. He was buried underneath the earth of mistakes and enemies he had acquired. His own mind being the mastermind of it all.

One thing he was sure, the two of you were always and would always be equal in his heart. He'd have to make sure that you understood that. The last thing he could do as he lived was fail you.

Hayley would be so disappointed.

Just like Kol requested him to, he snapped out of it. The fear of facing your uncontrolled abilities materialised in the image of numbness in your eyes. He couldn't lose you. And he wouldn't. But his brother was right, inserting a dagger in your heart wouldn't make the situation better.

He had to learn from his mistakes at some point.

Your gasp as you returned to reality sent guilt right into his chest. Hope cradled your body in an embrace, mumbling I'm sorry's repeatedly. Everybody watched in expectation of your reaction. The furrow in your eyebrows as you studied your surroundings were a small indication that you were coming back.

Blinking slowly, you looked down at your sister with widened eyes, “Did I hurt you?” the question slipped as you noticed the blood in her clothes and the hole in her blouse.

Hope's tear-stricken expression switched to an amused one, “What do you think?” then, she started crying again. “I'm sorry, I didn't mean to say those things, I—”

The pang in your head made you wince slightly. The memories coming back.

You squeezed her arm, shaking your head, “It's fine. I don't know why I lost it. I'm sorry.” a frown etched into your forehead. “I didn't mean it, Hope.”

Meeting your eyes, she knew what you were talking about, “No, I am. I shouldn't have pushed you. You were right. I'm reckless and irresponsible and paranoid and I never put your first. I'm sorry. I love you, I'll try, okay? I never meant to hurt you.”

You sighed, a sad smile pulling at your lips, “Yeah, okay. I love you too.”

She hugged you again and a grimace twitched your face, “Uh, you've got blood all over you, can you...”

“And whose fault is that? That was my favourite blouse!”

“That was not your favourite blouse. Your favourite is a red one with a sweetheart neckline—”

“And they're back.” Kol rolled his eyes fondly, leaving to go back to his room. He needed to get you form his bloody clothes, thanks to you.

“Should we stay?” Finn queried Elijah, watching you bicker over a blouse. Elijah smiled faintly.

“No. It's all dealt with.” His eyes caught his half brother's across the room before he and Finn left. Get rid of the dagger or I'll get rid of you. He knew Klaus could read his mind — not literally — as no one else were able to do. He hoped he would at least listen to this advice.

Or else.

“Did you dagger me?”

He blinked caught of guard by your sudden appearance in front of him. Face emotionless.

Hope and Rebekah had left as well. Probably understanding that you need to talk privately.

“I did.” He said, eyes softening. “Sweetheart, I—” he was cut off by your arms wrapping around him in an awkward movement.

You weren't the closest pair of father and daughter out there. You've had your disagreements, there was a lot in which the both of you were different. Hayley was the one that you clinged to. Ever since you were a child. He knew you missed her warmth, her words, her. One could never move on fully after losing a mother. It's heart-wrecking. If he had any say on it, he would've never let Hayley go. He'd surrender in a heartbeat.

“Thanks for bringing me back, Dad.”

Klaus let out a shaky breath, caressing the back of your neck. And still, with Hayley gone, there was so much of you that brought her back constantly. Your eyes. Your compassion, mostly. “Do not thank me. I shouldn't have done that. It was wrong. Once again I have let myself be taken my selfish reasons. Sweetheart,” he cupped your cheeks, and you looked up at him. “I'm sorry.” That was the sentence Klaus found more difficult in saying out loud. This turned on his back quickly when you and Hope were born. It wasn't a matter of ego, anymore. It was about not hurting you the way he had been hurt by the people that gave him life. He'd rather die than disapoint his daughters. “If you need time away, I understand. That was wrong—”

“Will you let me speak or I'm supposed to stay quiet the whole time?”

Klaus snapped his mouth shut.

You smiled, “Alright. Yes, that was wrong and selfish. But so was I. I was out of me, Dad. Honestly, I don't know what would have happened if you hadn't done that. Hope, she— I can't even think—”

“Don't think. Nothing bad happened.”

“It might have!” You cried out. “I'm not okay. I don't know how to be okay. And I don't want to hurt anyone else in this process. What if the next time I snap it's you? Or uncle Elijah? Or anyone else?”

Klaus pressed a kiss against your forehead and brought you closer again, your shoulders slumped as you let you a sob. “I'm scared, Dad.”

“I know, I know.” He whispered, tightening his hold on you so you would calm down. “We'll get you help. You've been hurt, sweetheart. It's not going to be easy, it never is. But you'll get better. We'll be there.” He paused. “But first and foremost, don't ever think you are not loved by me. Or any of us. Is that clear? You come first. You always have and you always will. You and Hope.”

Hayley would've worded it out better.

You nodded weekly, averting his eyes.

“I'm going to make sure you don't feel like that anymore, alright?” He tipped your chin so you would meet his eyes. “You're not alone, honey,” the sniffles slipped from you against your will and soon the tears arrived. He dried one by one to then cradle your head against his chest.

Letting out a shaky breath, you buried your face deep into his shoulder. You were tired, but your family could give you strength. Even your mother — especially your mother — who might not be present but she was still there. You could feel it.

Your father smiled down at your bloodshot features, bopping your nose which made you crack a laugh. “Always and forever,” he whispered.

A promise.

“Always and forever,” you mumbled back, smiling in response.