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aion-rsa · 4 years ago

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Psych 2: Lassie Come Home Easter Egg and Reference Guide

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The following contains spoilers for Psych 2: Lassie Come Home.

As fun as 2017’s Psych: The Movie was, its 2020 sequel Psych 2: Lassie Come Home will likely supplant it in Psych-Os’ hearts, because it’s got 500% more Carlton Lassiter (Timothy Omundson). But how does it stack up to its predecessor in terms of Psych callbacks and pop culture homages? Using our Spencer powers of observation, we’ve tried to catch every recurring inside joke between Shawn (James Roday Rodriguez) and Gus (Dulé Hill), plus all the episodic-specific bits. It’s a feature-length Hitchcock homage, but it’s also the toughest Easter egg hunt of your life. C’mon, son!

Psych 2: Lassie Come Home Easter Eggs and References

The title is a reference to Lassie Come Home, the 1943 Lassie movie about the beloved dog making her way home from Scotland. A German-language remake came out early in 2020.

It’s always a treat to hear the Psych theme song “I Know, You Know,” performed by creator Steve Franks and his band The Friendly Indians.

Lassiter wakes up to Shawn and Gus hovering above him at the recovery clinic is a throwback to when they kidnapped him for his bachelor party in “Deez Nups” and he came to with them screaming “Surpriiise!”

Morrissey the rescue dog reprises his role from Psych: The Movie in being adorable, incredibly nosy, and oblivious to Shawn’s hissing commands.

Sarah Chalke’s nurse character Dolores is most likely a nod to San Francisco’s Mission Dolores church and cemetery, the location for Carlotta Valdes’ grave in Vertigo.

Right out the gate, Dolores is treated to the requisite Gus nickname: “My name is Shawn Spencer, and this is my partner Bill Poopingtons.” However, Shawn and Gus take a sidebar for a very meta argument about their ongoing bit (while fitting in another bit):

“Gus, don’t be the night your dad fell asleep inside your mom. We can’t just stop doing bits we’ve been doing for ten years. We have fans, they have expectations, there’ll be a huge backlash.”

“Shawn, we are two dumbasses, we do not have fans.”

Compromise: Gus gets right of refusal until they land on a nickname he prefers. And so:

Bill Poopingtons > All the Pips in One

Ding-Dong Ditch > Claude O’Dern > Big Poppa Pump > Lemon-a Lemon-a Lemon-a Liiime

Leggo My Eggo > Norman Brown Butter > Dijon Hounsou

Gus also calls himself Jermajesty, channeling some Jackson Five energy.

“Black Jello” was Gus’ nickname in their adult dodgeball league.

The Herschel House is likely a nod to Herschel Daugherty, who directed over two dozen episodes of Alfred Hitchcock Presents…

Gus and Shawn are still bickering over driving the drivers ed car, even if we don’t see it in the movie. They do manage to be just as bad at turning the right direction when riding a motorcycle together.

“Now I know this ‘goofy little white guy/sexy black dude’ routine the two of you have going like the back of my scrubs.” Sarah Chalke played Elliot on Scrubs, whose JD/Turk bromance walked so that Shawn/Gus could run.

Shawn calls Dolores “the nurse from Color of Night,” the 1994 Bruce Willis erotic mystery thriller that won a Golden Raspberry for Worst Picture.

The boys get Jamba Juice because you never turn down an opportunity for a Jamba.

Shawn likens Gus’ pubic hair to Eddie Murphy’s mustache in his 1987 stand-up film Raw.

Shawn offers the dismembered hand to Gus to “knuck it up softly,” per their penchant for fist-bumping.

They later do fist-bump outside the old Psych offices, but not before channeling Han Solo and Chewbacca in Star Wars: The Force Awakens: “Gus, we’re home.” “[Wookiee sound]”

Psych has become a French-themed cat café… for now, at least. It’s not an alternative universe from Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse, but the current subletter’s pop-up business. The proprietor (not the girl from Orphan) is played by Allison Miller, James Roday Rodriguez’s co-star in A Million Little Things.

“I am a psychic. He is a sympathetic pooper.” Poor Gus’ intestinal system gets called out again.

Henry’s (Corbin Bernsen) put-on voice gets compared to Tom Waits, Kathleen Turner, Harvey Fierstein, and Diedrich Bader.

Shawn neglected to tell his landlord that he’d moved, which tracks with his behavior in the series finale “The Break-Up.”

Henry reveals that in addition to telenovelas, he enjoys zeitgeist-y sobfests: “You left behind a slow cooker with a three-pound roast in it. You nearly This Is Us-ed the entire block.”

“This Is Us—Dad, why are you watching that show? They have the same show on ABC but newer”: Shawn’s shoutout to A Million Little Things.

Lassiter mistakes Reese Kessler, his supposed shooter, for country music singer Conway Twitty.

Lassiter’s to-do list includes “tape Galavant,” the short-lived musical comedy fantasy series created by Dan Fogelman (This Is Us), in which Timothy Omundson played King Richard. It also includes items poking fun at Lassiter’s crankiness (“yell at nature,” “chirping bird d-day plan”) and tenacity (“solve black dahlia”), and heartstring-tugging items (“pre-register for ironman” as in the triathlon). He also has written down Shawn’s S.E.I.Z.E. mantra from his short-lived career as Lassiter’s life coach in “S.E.I.Z.E. the Day”: Seize Eggs I don’t know Zebra Eighties.

Juliet (Maggie Lawson) lying to Shawn sounds strange, though not as strange as Lupita Nyong’o—the Tethered Lupita—in Jordan Peele’s Us.

Shawn’s “romantic dinner” for Jules is the menu from A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving (jelly beans, pretzels, buttered toast, popcorn, and ice cream sundaes) because it’s all they had at the gas station on the way home.

That prompts an iconic “C’mon, son!” from Gus.

Gus’ ringtone is “I’m Mr. Bootyman,” which is both Henry’s ringtone and the song featured in Buzz McNab’s bachelorette party stripper routine in “Deez Nups.”

Gus’ (technically Jules’) green snuggie bears a striking resemblance to official Psych contest merch.

Lassiter spotting mysterious bleeding figures out his window is an homage to Rear Window.

Richard Schiff (as Dr. Herschel) was Dulé Hill’s co-star in The West Wing.

Potterhead Gus wants to know if there are any people hiding in the pipes of the Herschel House, “speaking in their own tongue, perhaps Parsel.”

The Psych boys’ map of suspects briefly includes the Hell Hag from Gus’ dreams in “A Nightmare on State Street.”

Shawn has only been to Norway once with his brother-in-law Ewan O’Hara (John Cena), but they don’t talk about that… Maybe that’s where Psych: The Movie went after its cliffhanger ending?

Ova’s Norwegian song/chant toast at the Viking’s Ice Den is very similar to the Swedish toast in “Right Turn or Left for Dead.”

Ova’s violent son Per is first described as “the bearded Daryl Hannah.”

Shawn’s excuse to Detective Buzz McNab (Sage Brocklebank) for being in Santa Barbara is that he forgot a frisbee signed by German writer/director Florian Henckel von Donnersmarck.

Shawn’s first reaction to Jules potentially being pregnant: “You know the windows in the loft don’t even fully close, right? I’m gonna have to replace them, otherwise this is Baby’s Day Out all over again.” As Gus reassures him, he always did get worked up over John Hughes’ worst idea.

At the old Psych offices, Shawn pulls out the jousting lance from “100 Clues”—as well as a pineapple! He looks about to ask, “Should we cut this up for the road?” (his question during the pineapple’s first appearance in the pilot, plus at the end of Psych: The Movie) but stops himself.

When Lassie believes that fellow patient Mr. Wilkerson (Kadeem Hardison) has been walking around, Shawn and Gus have to go “full Dirty Rotten Scoundrels” to interrogate the supposedly catatonic patient.

Shoutout to Jessie Spano’s infamous “I’m so excited, I’m so excited, I’m so scared!” speed speech from Saved by the Bell.

If it’s not Scrubs, the boys are getting compared to Ren and Stimpy.

Mary Lightly (Jimmi Simpson) returns in another incredible, extra-hallucinatory look into Shawn’s brain… this time as a baby, since Shawn’s got fatherhood on the brain.

“We got jackaled!” Gus shouts upon learning that Wilkerson can walk—a reference to “hitting the jackal switch,” or going into stealth mode.

Shawn has always had a thing for singer Jewel, even after the Civil War movie (1999’s Ride with the Devil) and the Bollywood song.

Of course there’s a nasty dance when Shawn and Gus figure out who they think is behind everything.

Gus declares that “I am not going to let you shoot Shules’ baby!” only for the Chief (Kirsten Nelson) to ask, “What’s a Shules?” That’s the fans’ name for Shawn/Jules, a cute nod to a series OTP.

And of course, we can’t forget the fact that Jazmyn Simon, who plays Selene, is Dulé Hill’s real-life wife.

More than once, Shawn quotes The Handmaid’s Tale in reference to Gus and Selene’s baby: “Praise be” and “Blessed is the fruit.”

Dolores compliments Lassiter’s “chest of hair plentiful enough to wake all of Destiny’s Child.”

Shawn comes up with possible names for Gus’ child: Shaft, Shaftie, or D’Shaft—just like Gus’ nickname Sh’Dynasty (with a “God’s comma,” or apostrophe) from “Santabarbaratown.”

They also both coo “c’mon son” to Selene’s womb.

Selene’s proposal to Gus includes his negotiation that he and Shawn have adjacent homes with connecting pools, a callback to Shawn and Gus talking about their dream setup in “The Break-Up”; as well as Pluto! She asks, “Will you make me the happiest woman on this planet, on Eres, and Pluto?”

Shawn tells Juliet that “you’re my person,” the iconic Grey’s Anatomy line (though one would argue that Gus more accurately is his person).

When Lassiter stands (shut up, you’re crying) to meet Marlowe (Kristy Swanson), they place their palms together—like they did when he would visit her in jail, like they did at their wedding. My heart.

Join us on the Easter egg hunt—let us know what references we missed!

The post Psych 2: Lassie Come Home Easter Egg and Reference Guide appeared first on Den of Geek.

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bubblet-ea · 7 years ago

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something foreign but altogether completely familiar

“the fuck?”

“please?” jimin all but whined, head tucked comfortably atop yoongi’s lap as both sets of fingers moved rapid-fire against his ps4 game controller.

“no,” yoongi’s green humanoid blob managed to shove jimin’s blue twerky thing to go plunging to his doom off a rotating blimp.

”hah!” taehyung’s screech could be heard through his headset. “team taegi wildin’ out!”

“come on, just one time,” jimin’s eyes remained glued to the tv screen where he adamantly tried to body flop his way over taehyung’s yellow goop man that tried to throw him off again ”hoseok! you fuckin’ suck! you’re supposed to have my back!”

the only response received was a high pitched cackle-scream hybrid that had jimin flinching, probably bursting one of his eardrums as well. hoseok’s little red floppy dude went plummeting to his doom all on his own at the opposite end of the screen far from the melee going on between the other three players.

“yoongi please,” jimin was just that close of chucking his controller at the tv, nostrils flaring with annoyance at how crap he was at this game. “three hours, tops.”

“fuck no,” yoongi effectively managed to nudge both jimin’s and taehyung’s characters off the blimp, sacrificing his own partner with no remorse. (”hey! what the heck!”). “what part of no don’t you understand?”

“but i said please,” jimin finally tossed his controller and waved his metaphoric white flag of surrender. he opted for rolling flat on his back and lifting his gaze to stare up at the underside of yoongi’s chin with the softest puppy pout he could muster. “i thought we were bros.”

“no,” yoongi somehow managed to continue playing with a single hand, freeing the other to produce a swift flick on jimin’s forehead (”ow.”). “i am your elder, and you are a pint-sized peanut stuffed full of teenage gay angst and i don’t know why i put up with you.”

granted, jimin supposed that was true. yoongi was technically two years his senior. but they’d been practically biffles for life since childhood because their dads were fishing buddies. and jimin would rather have every last one of his teeth pulled out with steel pliers than to actually admit, but he picked this university for the sole purpose that it contained one min yoongi.

because.

best bros.

“but i thought you were my fam,” jimin plopped his body like deadweight and stretched his full height across the couch. “my homie for life, piña to my colada, the half to my whole, soy to my latte-”

“you can fuck right off with that.”

“and after all i’ve done for you,” jimin swooned, arm tossed over his eyes in a dramatic effect. he snuck a peak to glance up at the pointy end of yoongi’s nose.

the elder’s eyebrow was in serious danger of shooting up and out through the roof. if jimin didn’t know any better, and he liked to think he knew better than most, yoongi’s expression was definitely in danger of being permanently fixed the way it was, what with yoongi’s constant skepticism and no-fucking-nonsense-stick-up-his-ass-you-mess-with-me-i-will-shove-this-lamp-pole-up-your-fucking-dickhole attitude.

“pray tell, what exactly have you done for me?”

“like that one time,” jimin started, straightening out from his maiden’s swoon and poking up at yoongi’s left piercing. “you were thirsting over taehyung hardcore like the dehydrated prune ass bitch you are. and i had to step in and play cupid so you could finally man up the courage to tap dat.”

“damn boiiiii!” hoseok screeched.

“exposed!” taehyung followed. “i know i’m hot shit and all but daaaaang!”

“i will literally set your hair on fire, you oversized carrot top,” yoongi gritted through clenched teeth where jimin caught a muscle twitch. (”you love my glorious orange hair, don’t lie.”)

jimin could truly say that episode had been one helluva fuckin’ ride, an experience. to be honest, yoongi seemed to be hellbent on pretending the entirety of last winter holidays had never happened, it was that embarrassing. in the end, jimin’s efforts had been in vain and yoongi snapped right the fuck out of it when he realized taehyung was not the soft, sweet cotton fluff he thought and a whole lot of nasty, panty dropping extra that could not be contained.

yoongi shot him a brief, tight lipped smile that looked more constipated than anything else.

“it’s true though,” hoseok’s mirth was clearly visible even through the shitty wifi connection. “jimin did do you a solid.”

“the sex was really good though, you gotta admit.”

“first of all, you piece of shit,” yoongi’s game controller went to join jimin’s across the coffee table. “i did not thirst after taehyung-”

“you were so thirsty your skin was flaking,” jimin smirked, shortly before he was shoved off the couch to land in a puddle at yoongi’s feet. “ow, fuck that really hurt.”

“i am the king of gang beasts!” taehyung’s shrill deep voice echoed in jimin’s ears. “all hail king tae! bow, peasants, and kiss my feet!”

“the fucking disrespect,” yoongi’s toe nudge into jimin’s side, making him jerk sideways half under the table. “it was mid winter and i have eczema you snot rag. second of all,” yoongi continued on his tirade and jimin wheezed with laughter. “what you managed to do was set everyone up for fuckin’ centuries of cringeworthy humiliation that is bound to have my descendants curling in misery.”

“you’re so dramatic,” jimin smiled fondly, rolling back out from under the table and sitting himself up. he rested his chin along his arms crossed on the edge of the sofa by yoongi’s knees. “i totally helped you get dat ass. i am the best wingman.”

“you are a fucking nightmare, is what you are,” yoongi deadpanned, ruffling jimin’s already mussed up, pitch black hair.

“i know, but please,” jimin tried again, throwing on his best sulk face and capitalizing on the best asset god bequeathed him with. his plush, pouty lips. “just this one time,” he bat his lashes, just for good measure. “how often do i ask for favors?”

“all the fuckin’ time!”

“like when do you not?”

“did i ask for your opinion?! i think the fuck not!” jimin straightened out like a snapped spring and bellowed into his headset mic. through his peripheral vision, he saw yoongi take of his own headset and slowly rub at his temples.

“why do i put up with all of you,” yoongi let out a long suffering sigh.

“because you lo-”

jimin turned off the tv, remote arm out, cutting hoseok off mid-sentence. yoongi looked at him like he might kiss him. or not. with a shrug, jimin tossed the remote on the carpet by his feet.

“back to the subject,” he licked his lips, settling against the coffee table with his knees drawn to his chest. yoongi let out another heavy sigh, but that didn’t deter jimin. “just one time please. one date,” he attempted the most forlorn look, like stepped on flowers, run over a dog’s tail, cookies got burnt disconsolate. “taemin is gonna be there.”

“how do you even know this,” yoongi sighed. again.

“with jongin.”

jimin pouted extra hard.

“who the fuck is jongin,” yoongi rubbed his temples with his middle and forefinger, as if he was warding off an oncoming migraine. which is nonsense. because jimin is the light of yoongi’s life. he could attest to this.

“who is,” jimin's face crumpled. “who the fuck. jongin!” his arms shot up into the air. “kim jongin! the third year ballet twink with the good ass thighs and facial structure crafted by the gods! dance prodigy jongin!” jimin’s voice escalated with every syllable, in speed, pitch, and volume.

“that kim jongin. the one taemin dumped me for,” jimin was now truly feeling really sad. this was not how he’d anticipated this conversation to go down.

it still hurt. three weeks had passed since the evening that shall not be spoken of. and jimin’s chest still throbbed with an empty longing at the memories of how taemin had broken up with him at their favorite mom-and-pop cafe that had been the center point of almost a year’s worth of happy memories. the sacrilege, how dare?

“i found someone else,” taemin had said.

“well good riddance! ‘cause i was gonna break up with you first!” jimin’s brain to mouth filter completely went on vacation, leaving him with utter regret and despair. but why stop there? “i found someone else too!”

the look of surprise on taemin’s face had almost been worth it.

almost.

now jimin was stuck with empty words and no boyfriend to show for it.

“please,” jimin tried again, clutching at yoongi’s artfully ripped jeans, which was saying something as they were so tight they clung to the elder’s very legs like second skin. “i just gotta prove to him that i do have somebody else and i’m not like desperate-taylor-swift-binge-eating-sobfest-heartbroken.”

“you are heartbroken,” yoongi muttered, pulling off his headset and running a hand through his soft brown hair. “there’s nothing wrong with that. the asshole literally broke your heart. i’m pretty sure that’s the definition of heartbroken.”

“just to prove i have a boyfriend,” jimin could sense victory in the soft sigh leaving yoongi’s lips.

“but you don't.”

“minor detail,” jimin waved a nonchalant hand.

“i’d say that’s a big fucking detail,” yoongi replied gruffly, rubbing his face with his open hand.

“i’ll buy you dinner,” jimin enticed, coming up to his knees and peering up into yoongi’s face.

“it better be a good fucking dinner,” yoongi sighed, finally relenting.

success.

“i can't believe i let you talk me into this,” yoongi shook his head, jimin chancing furtive glances over his menu to look for that familiar face.

“just,” jimin finally caught taemin and his new boyfriend at the far side of the cafe, tucked away in a discreet corner booth. “pick something to eat while i do some recon.”

“fucking ridiculous,” yoongi released a long, deep breath but picked up his own menu and began to look through the list of foods. “recon,” yoongi snorted, a crease forming in between jimin’s brows as he tried to subtly, not so subtly, crane his neck as if he could actually catch what the other two were talking about if he stretched far enough.

he didn’t even notice as the waitress stopped by to take their order, squinting as he attempted to lipread what taemin was saying to jongin.

damn, it was hard to see exactly what words were being exchanged from this angle and distance.

but what wasn't too difficult to see, even for jimin from this length of space between, was the brilliant laughter playing on taemin’s lips and the way his eyes curved into that precious moon smile that was jimin’s favorite and had always been reserved for him and him only.

the dull thud in his chest echoed like a bucket dropped all the way to the bottom of an empty well.

he watched, breath held, as taemin pulled the other’s hand and pressed butterfly kisses along every knuckle. something he used to do for jimin too.

it felt as if he’d fallen into that empty well along with the bucket.

it hurt.

like a fucking bitch, it hurt.

he really thought he could do this. but he couldn't. not when taemin looked for all the world like a man completely smitten. and the other person wasn't jimin.

a sharp kick to the shin finally jolted his attention away from the other couple, a startled whine escaping through his parted lips as a bright hot pain traveled up his leg from the point of abuse.

“what the fuck,” jimin’s expression puckered, rubbing at the sore spot on his shin that was very likely to bruise. yoongi’s brow quirked, arms crossed over his chest looking bored as hell while jimin’s world came crashing down around his feet for what was probably the thousandth time since he’d been dumped.

“you’re supposed to be having a good time,” yoongi’s face softened when jimin bit down on his lower lip that had started to quiver. he blinked repeatedly, forcing back the burn that had begun to emerge around the corners of his eyes. it was becoming somewhat hard to breathe.

“do you want me to take you home?” the elder asked gently, and jimin shook his head faintly. “then what do you want to do?” yoongi enquired, head tilted to the side.

inhaling a shaky breath, jimin willed himself to calm. “can you just,” he answered after a moment of silence. “talk. just talk. about anything, i don't care. just please,” jimin didn’t really know what he was begging for. he just needed the pain in his chest to stop.

so yoongi began talking.

he started with a teacher aide in his music comp class that none of the students liked because he was a total pompous bitch. he talked about his latest assignment that was due in a few day’s time, but he’d procrastinated up until now because who fuck care anyways? he commented on the weather, about Pokémon GO, about a new movie that had come out, about the upcoming spring break and how their mothers expected them back home because yoongi’s older brother wanted him to meet his fiancé’s family and how jimin was going to come with him or else he’d die of boredom and the younger owed him a favor after this anyway.

the words flowed freely, and jimin was content to just listen to that deep silken voice wrap him softly like a bandaid over a wound.

he listened and he ate as yoongi talked, gradually forgetting the reason that he was here in the first place and began to actually engage in the conversation.

“do i get a free meal out of it?” jimin tipped his head to the side, popping a french fry in his mouth and licking the bit of ketchup off the end of his middle finger. at that, he thought he caught a near imperceptible dip in the elder’s adam’s apple. but he waved it off as just his imagination.

“freeloader,” a hand leaned over the table to ruffle jimin’s hair before he could swing out of yoongi’s reach.

“knock it off,” jimin huffed, batting the hand away. “and no i’m not.”

“you are soft as fuck,” yoongi laughed at the excitement that lit up jimin’s face. “yes, you’re getting a free meal out of my brother so you’re ass is coming.”

“okay.”

“and you act like you never get a free meal whenever you come banging on my doorstep anyway,” yoongi said in a deadpan tone, sliding his credit card into the check folder the waitress brought over. “you know how much my mom loves you.”

“i can’t wait to play with holly,” jimin hummed with a content smile, sipping on his watered down coke zero.

“thanks for, you know,” jimin stared down at his feet, scuffing the point of his right shoe against the concrete. he glanced up to see yoongi shrug, hands tucked away into the pockets of his jeans while they stood outside of jimin’s dorm.

they’d done this a million and trillion times before in the past. but why did jimin feel somewhat nervous?

yoongi was as familiar to him as his own right arm, or his favorite blanket back home.

there was something different though, hanging in the crisp night air between them... something that was never there before.

“thank you for being the best fucking bro in the whole fucking world?” yoongi prompted when he’d paused for long enough, jimin snorting with amusement and retuning somewhat back to planet earth.

“yeah, that,” he conceded, fingers clasped behind his back for lack of anything better to do with them. “thank you.”

something warmed inside jimin’s chest at the soft grin that spread across yoongi’s face, eyes traveling down his side profile as the elder looked up into the starry deep sky above.

when their eyes met again, it was as if jimin hadn’t known yoongi his entire life, since toddlerhood, something foreign yet altogether completely familiar thrumming in his chest.

“’night.”

“good night,” jimin licked his suddenly dry lips. he watched as yoongi turned, breaking into a light jog as he moved back towards his car parked in the no-parking zone with the emergency lights flashing.

what the hell?

“i’ve been doing some thinking.”

silence.

“can i ask you something?”

the only response jimin received was a muted grunt.

“and hear me out, okay? don’t just completely write this off,” jimin continued, staring at yoongi’s back from his current position of lying perpendicular across the elder’s bed, head hanging upside down over the edge.

yoongi didn’t even glance up from the composition project he was working on. the one he’d procrastinated on for weeks now. the one that was due within the next twenty-four hours, holy fucking shit rest in pieces.

“i think we should try kissing a go,” jimin blurted out, body tensed, as he watched for yoongi’s response.

there was the briefest of pause in his constantly moving hand, the soft pen scratches going even quieter still until it had completely stopped.

jimin held his breath, if only to not break the utter silence. the room was so thick with it, he thought he could put a knife right through it and cut a slice straight out of the air.

cricket cricket bitch.

after several minutes had passed, jimin was about to laugh it off as a joke when yoongi finally responded, “don’t be stupid,” and resumed his work once again as if jimin hadn’t said anything at all.

“but i’m being serious,” jimin rolled over onto his front, chin propped up on his clasped fingers and boring holes in the elder’s back between his shoulder blades.

yoongi finally turned, shooting jimin a long, searching look that had him squirming to the very tips of his toes.

without another word, the elder lobbed a crumbled up composition sheet that landed squarely in the center of jimin’s forehead.

“ow what the fuck?!”

“i cannot believe,” yoongi exhaled a sigh of resignation, glaring up at the ceiling flashing technicolor strobe lights as if it had done him some personal great injustice.

“is that jongin over there? can y’see him? i can’t tell if it’s him or not,” jimin was just this close to overbalancing and tipping over the barstool with how far he was stretching his neck to catch a glance of the familiar looking couple dancing amongst the drunken crowd.

he’d lost count of how many shots of tito’s he’d downed in the past few hours they’d been camped out at the congested bar. jimin was a man on a mission. and yoongi’s palm was warm against the small of his back, propped there to prevent his fall, made all the warmer by the inebriating flush that spread across his cheeks.

nibbling on his parched lips, jimin leaned even further out to squint at the blond haired man that looked kind of like taemin and kind of didn’t, only breaking his stare when taehyung dipped by to pass him another shot of something or other.

“drink bitch!”

“i think not,” yoongi swooped in before jimin could reach to intercept the small glass rimmed with salt.

“ooh tequila?” jimin pivoted on the stool without warning, nearly knocking the drink out of yoongi’s hand and quite suddenly placing the elder to stand in between his legs.

“but i have limes!” taehyung’s boxy smile stretched so wide, jimin couldn’t help but grin back as he tried to grab the shot.

“i think you’ve had enough,” yoongi stretched his arm away from jimin’s circumference of reach.

“but i have limes!” taehyung repeated as if that tidbit of fact made it even more important. and quite frankly, jimin couldn't help but agree.

“give it,” he pouted, one hand grasping onto yoongi’s shoulder and the other reaching out making grabby hands at the glass.

“why you gotta cock block?” taehyung whined, having already downed his own and cramming the lime wedge into his mouth.

“no,” yoongi said in a no-nonsense tone that should've brooked no argument.

but jimin was buzzed and had no shits to give at the moment, completely forgetting that his best bro for life had promised to please, please, please play designated let’s-not-let-jimin-do-anything-utterly-stupid-whilst-in-his-intoxicated-state.

however, that was besides the point.

what was the point again?

instead, jimin opted for wrapping his legs around yoongi’s waist to bring him even closer, extending his wiggling arm to the best of its somewhat stunted abilities to reach, reach, reach...

oh.

“shit!”

“ow.”

“y’okay?”

the stool ended up tipping over, both of them landing in a puddle of confused limbs and pained grunts. but jimin’s fall had been miraculously cushioned by yoongi’s chest, the elder having fallen flat on his back against what jimin could only imagine was the disgustingly alcohol-sticky tiled floor. gross.

yoongi groaned, his voice barely audible over the pounding bass intermixed with taehyung’s loud shrieking.

“hey,” jimin rested his chin on yoongi’s chest, his already muddled brain just a tiny bit overwhelmed by the stale and bitter scent of beer that lingered on the other’s lips. “you’re kinda cute, how did i never notice before.”

yoongi snorted, groaned, jimin couldn't tell which.

“i’m gonna kiss you,” jimin said before his consciousness could actually catch up with his brain. “y’know, not because we’re best bros or anything, but like because you’re kinda cute right now and i’m kinda drunk and i couldn't think about anything but this for the past few days since-”

“just fucking shut up,” yoongi leaned up and pressed his lips onto jimin’s.

it tasted bitter, but it was warm and soft. and it tasted like something foreign but altogether completely familiar, like a promise of the past and present and future.

it tasted like home.

“literally you are such a piece of shit,” yoongi smiled fondly when they finally came up for air.

yup, definitely felt like home.

#yoonmin #bts fic #pre-relationship #fluff #mini mini mini angst #slice of life #literally have no idea what this is #there's a lot of cursing involved #past 2min

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livinonaflyingcarpet · 7 years ago

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Sorry Sana (a Skam fanfic)

My entry for Skam Month week 3 day 4 - a missing scene from any season.

Title: Sorry Sana

Characters: Sana, Vilde, Chris, Noora, Eva

Summary: A short fic set in season 4 episode 8, after Haper du har plass.

The Girl Squad spend the afternoon at Eva’s, where they talk about what happened those past weeks and end up crying and apologizing, because Sana deserves to get some apologies too.

AO3 link: here

—

Eva’s mom was on a business trip again, so after driving around Oslo in the brand new Los Losers van the girls decided to go there and chill. They spread around Eva’s couch, a giggling mess. In the very center was Sana, with Vilde playing with the loose hem of her hijab and Chris resting her head on Sana’s shoulder. On the other side of Chris was Noora just laughing and beaming, and Eva sat on the floor near Sana’s legs searching for some music to play on her phone.

“Guys… I’m so happy we’re okay again. I’m so sorry for all that I’ve done,” said Sana gently after a little silence. “I know I’ve acted a little weird lately. I just… I’m not the best in communicating, and it all just piled up, and the Instagram thing…”

“Stop talking about it.” Eva jumped into Sana’s solemn speech firmly. “It’s done. Yeah it was a shitty thing to do, but it’s not like you’ve actually meant any harm to any of us. I’ll seriously never forgive Ingrid for the other account, I couldn’t believe she would be so cruel. So let’s leave the past in the past.”

“Yeah stop apologizing Sana. Actually, I hope that you will be able to forgive us too.”

Sana looked with bewilderment at Chris. “What do you mean by that?”

“Sorry for not being there for you when you were down.” Vilde looked into Sana’s eyes seriously.

“Sorry for always being so dumb about your religion and things you can or can’t do.” Chris squeezed Sana’s hand while Eva nodded sadly.

“Sorry for not trying enough to draw you out. I’ve noticed that something was wrong with you, but I shouldn’t have given up so easily when you told me off.” It was Noora’s turn to look at Sana with guilty eyes.

“And sorry for making it difficult for you to come clean to us,” said Eva. “I had no idea it could’ve been you and now I realize I said some pretty awful stuff.”

“Girls –“ Sana piped, but Eva didn’t let her finish.

“When you said that the Sara hate account was yours, I really overreacted. All of us. We couldn’t believe you would do that or why would you do it. Plus the way you’ve been so distant lately…”

“Yeah, we didn’t understand and needed some time to think. Then you sent that letter, and… I’m just so sorry Sana, for not understanding shit.” Noora’s voice actually broke at the last sentence.

“Noora, stop!” Sana looked at her alarmingly. “It was my fault really. I just shut myself in…”

“Yeah but we should’ve been there for you.” Vilde pressed her shoulder affectionately. “We should’ve realized that something was wrong. We don’t judge our friends; and we stick up to them no matter what.”

Hearing her own words said back to her Sana laughed with tears in her eyes and hugged Vilde, who hugged her back tightly.

“I’m sorry for the hate Vilde,” Sana said softly into her ear. “Me too, and for other things also.” Vide replied just as gently.

“Oh my god,” Eva exclaimed suddenly while wiping her eyes. “What the fuck? Look at us! Stop that sobfest right now! Who wants to watch a movie or something?”

All girls laughed half-heartily. Eva was right, they were a huge mess. But they were a mess together, and as long as they remained together they knew that everything will be okay. Fuck all those haters, cyberbullies and typical Norwegian partygirls – Los Losers are there and have decided to stop caring what do other people think. As long as they are together and have an epic time, nothing can ever separate or hurt them, ever again.

#skammonth #skam #skam fanfic #sana #the girl squad #i hope you like it!#and whether you do or not comments are VERY much appreciated!#i'm so nervous! this is my first posted fanfic ever #this was more of a therapy for me to write it #julie made it so fking hard for me to forgive girls for mistreating sana

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blacklionshiro-backup · 7 years ago

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Episode Prompto spoilers

I’m so frustrated, the whole DLC is like a woobie sobfest for Prompto, like don’t get me wrong I love Prompto, but this whole “woe is me” and him trying to fight sadness with forced self depreciation humor is so…. unnecessary and ridiculous.

And even if it wasn’t, it’s not even well done? Prompto starts out sad, but okay, then finds out about his past and there isn’t even a transition, he just goes from that to “I’m worthless and can’t face my friends ever again” in 0.5 second, then after moping and feeling sorry for himself for half an hour, again he suddenly recovers as if nothing happened in the first place because he very suddenly remembered what he wanted in the first place and I’m

I’m so disappointed with this DLC. Worst part is that gameplay isn’t even good, he’s terrible to control in battle and the shooter aspects of the game are very awkward.

On top of that the whole thing is just one big prom/ptis fest, I really don’t like the ship so I’m just mostly :/ at it but oh well.

#very negative

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merydenrr · 8 years ago

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The ridiculous and contradictory crap she says on the podcast

1) That social media is the ‘worst thing’ to happen to relationships because people use it to be 'flashy’ with their lives. When the only reason this con has gone on so long is because she relies on social media to troll and flash her 'relationship’ around.

2) That she can’t imagine asking 'Jon’ to pose for a cute couple pic to post online because he finds it 'ridiculous.’ So now we have our reason for why they don’t have couple pictures outside of work: 'Jon’ doesn’t like it and put his foot down. Now I’m not saying they should blitz her IG with pictures, but how does one little picture hurt anyone? Is he so anti-social media and private that he can’t go out of his way to show his girl off?

3) Saying she’s 'not obsessed with her phone.’ I think that speaks for itself.

4) Claiming that she and 'Jon’ once again fought because of her doing her eyebrows in L.A. I wonder what he thought about the make-up she wore on the Vegas 7 shoot. And she beats the 'Jon doesn’t like me improving my looks in any way’ drum and says she doesn’t go off on him for 'wearing the same jeans three weeks in a row.’ One, way to make your man sound like an unwashed slob. Two: goals, everyone! He hates it when she grooms herself for her self-confidence, and she hates the way he wears jeans all the time! Yay Deanee!

5) Advising people not to be 'psychopaths’ when trying to text someone and for dating in general. Again: this speaks for itself.

6) Saying that aside from one weirdo, she’s 'still friendly’ with all her exes. So I guess she never stopped communicating with Norm.

7) Whining about how nobody stays faithful in relationships anymore. This from the same woman who, going by her timeline, cheated on her fiancé with Dean for two years before they broke up.

8) Calling herself a 'basic bitch.’ Still the little racist, ignorant white girl appropriating AAVE without knowing what it means.

9) STILL maintaining the lie that it’s hard to make friends in Vegas and she doesn’t know anyone. And I think she might have thrown the 'beer yoga’ girl who trolled for her once under the bus by claiming they just did 'business.’

10) Claiming that she and 'Jon’ were in Ft Lauderdale for New Year’s, and how he was complaining and berating her for wanting to dress up and wear her fake lashes and heels and cute dress. Reminder that she claims he bought her fake eyelashes in an earlier podcast.

11) Claiming that she likes 'Jon’ not liking her to feel girlied up because she doesn’t have to make an effort to look nice because 'he doesn’t care.’ Considering how she herself likes make-up and flies out to L.A to get her hair done, I doubt this. Also this might just be me, but why is she still 'dating’ him when he makes it clear that he doesn’t want to show her off or do the things that make her feel pretty?

12) Claiming that 'Jon’ loses every clothing she buys for him so much that she’s given up on trying to change his style. I’m sure there’s a Goodwill in Vegas that’s received nothing but ugly men’s clothes.

13) 'Conveniently’ getting a phone call when Stacey wanted to talk about her watching Nashville. Y'know, after she posted a post-sobfest pic that looked like somebody clocked her in the eye, where even her brain dead fans thought Dean was beating her.

14) Closing the podcast by saying she LOVES talking about her relationship, after saying how 'private’ they are earlier in the episode, to the point where 'Jon’ won’t pose with her for a cute couple picture.

This podcast did a nice job dismantling the fairytale she keeps spinning about her life with Dean. For a couple that’s 'sacred’, she makes it sound like they don’t even like or know each other. When she wasn’t talking about the same-old same-old they do (lying about being homebodies when Dean likes being outdoors), she complains about him and vice versa. What’s goals about these two?

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azhaneeothman · 8 years ago

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Dokkaebi: The Closest Thing to Magic Anyone Could Possibly Experience

This is a personal rant, so spoilers abound.

At around 3 AM on the 22nd of January 2017, I completed Dokkaebi with one of the biggest emotional breakdowns (read: world-shattering cryfest) caused by any form of writing I had ever loved - be it a book, a play or a drama script. My whole face was covered in tears and I couldn’t even see the screen clearly anymore when Ji Eun Tak greeted Kim Shin in Quebec after being gone for at least 70 long years. I was sobbing - almost unable to breathe - into Memilgun (thank God I had the sense to cover him in a towel - he was expensive and my tears would have spoiled him) like a mad woman. I’m not exaggerating, I have no reason to. The final episode was definitely one of the most fantastically shot finales of a TV drama anyone could have ever written, and I can promise you this - I have taken everything into consideration before saying so; writing, direction, acting, cinematography, score and transitions. But then again, I would say the same thing about the previous fifteen episodes – at least for ten more years.

So yes, that marks the possible end of the roller coaster ride of extreme emotions I had never thought a drama could make me feel, and I am deeply saddened by it. No more sleepless weekends with the Dokkaebi Squad - discussing, fangirling and theorizing plot development. No more refreshing six different streaming sites every 10 seconds to watch the next episode. No more yelling, ‘Dah keluaq!!!’ in the Dokkaebi Squad group every time an episode is out. No more waiting for every week’s releases to download the OSTs. No more getting all emotional about unexpected plot twists. No more suffering 5 days like 5 months every single week. And no more misleading previews to wreck the group into smithereens of feels until the next episode airs. *sigh* This drama came into my life and brought with it so many things I am not willing to let go as it ends, even now and I really don’t know how to deal with this so I’ll just write my heart out. Basically, I trust that this whole production team must have given everything they had and traded a few really pure souls to the devil in exchange for one of the strongest line-ups of cast in the history of Korean dramas. I have to hand it to both Gong Yoo and Kim Go Eun, though. Their slow-burn chemistry is pure on-screen conflagration - so addictive, so engaging, so raw and real and thank God for their amazing abilities to deliver convincing emotions through their voices, eyes and facial expressions – your success as the Dokkaebi couple are a gift to humanity, hands down.

Let me tell you that I am a well-read person (most of my friends know this), I go for every genre I could in my reading and writing (but I do have favorites, though) so all these excessively destructive feels I am currently suffering are as legit as your very existence. You don’t have to agree with me, or even believe it but yes they are as real as you. This rant will be long and personal and very honest from my heart so if you hate the drama for any reason, I would really appreciate it if you leave now - there is nothing for you here. And if you have loved everything about Dokkaebi and are experiencing withdrawals - I am happy to invite you to stay and let’s do this together.

At a glance, if you have a bit of knowledge in literature, Dokkaebi is a TV drama that has rich poetic content and sky high standards of visual production; you don’t have to wait long to see these, they are in every frame of every episode for you to appreciate and gape at. I do that; gaping and covering my mouth and staring in awe and gaping again, LOL. Every episode is show-offish and spectacular on so many levels, every actor is perfect for their roles, the impressive score is always on point and every scene was gorgeously shot it felt like I was watching a series of 16 art films, instead of an on-going cable TV drama. The first few seconds of the first episode definitely stole every possible amount of emotional and intellectual investment I could ever offer to a literary work and hooked me to it until the last moment of episode 16. The plot is laced with light-hearted comedy and heart-wrenching drama, which are the stuff I live for so it was a heartbreakingly incredible journey, but it was worth it. And I never knew that it was possible to be so dedicated to a TV drama like that – I have only been this obsessed with books my entire life. So this was a new experience for me. It was refreshing. It felt great.

The cast and characters are a pool of polished talents, which was the major reason I went out of my mind every single week waiting for the next episodes to air. The chemistry – either slow burn or violent lightning bolts trapped in a glass bottle – were some of the best I’ve seen in any production. And the line deliveries, God, it’ll be difficult for future dramas to top the ones in Dokkaebi. Everyone went all out for this particular production – and no effort went to waste. No one fell short behind anyone in leaving a memorable performance, and no one will be forgotten. Because every moment spent watching each and every one of them, shined. However, it’s the Dokkaebi couple that made everything work for me. Both of them are in their own leagues, it was electrifying to watch them on screen together because:

Kim Shin is the dokkaebi who set hearts of women on (blue) fire. Our lonely dokkaebi used to be a highly accomplished general of Goryeo, and he has spent 900 years existing and offering miracles to people who need them. He’s ancient and wise but he bullies his Joseung Saja housemate and Deok Hwa whenever he thinks he should, he is righteous and heroic but he summons gold bars to boast about them whenever he gets drunk – he has so many dimensions to his character that are amusing to watch and I enjoy every single one of them. I’ve written a whole post about him, so I won’t be ranting much about him here. But I will say that he’s the first representation of a dokkaebi I have ever seen so I have no one to compare him to, thus he becomes the benchmark for future dokkaebis if there will be any. He is the kindest, majestic though shattered immortal soul I have ever encountered in my entire reading career - he reminds me of the person I hope to one day meet and befriend, and that’s just magical. I love that Gong Yoo embodies the lonely gentleman that is Kim Shin – his physical approaches towards Ji Eun Tak are always pure and loving, never aggressive, never possessive, never lustful – unlike some of his previous roles. Hehe. Just when I thought nothing from Gong Yoo will ever surprise me anymore after Busanhaeng, he delivered a perfectly flawed Kim Shin and took my breath away. *sigh* And I also love his smitten face in this drama, LOL. Would you look at that?

And Ji Eun Tak is the heartbeat of Kim Shin’s eternal life. She is also the heartbeat of the whole story. I admit, one of the reasons I decided to watch Dokkaebi was writer Kim Eun Sook – I love how she wrote Descendants of the Sun, and the other reason was Gong Yoo; he was incredible in Busanhaeng. But I fell in love with Ji Eun Tak first before I fell for the story and the insane force that is Kim Shin, and I couldn’t even believe it. I love that her character is so wonderfully written – she is a breath of fresh air. When I saw a nine-year-old Eun Tak in episode 1 talking to the ghost of her mother, my heart swelled at how strong she was. There was no sobfest; and instead of comforting her with loving words of departure, her mother gave her instructions because she was smart enough to get over the loss, carry them out and mourn later. She was nine, people. Nine. When I was nine, the only thing I did on my own was my homework. My mother helped me with them occasionally, too. Pft. And ten years later, she surprised me again by being able to survive in such a toxic household – mentally and physically abusive aunt, downright stupid and evil cousins, I hate all of them and the rice bowl scene will forever be ingrained in my memories as one of the most insulting things anyone could ever do to another person. You would think she would be gloomy and depressed all the time, having to live with such vile creatures and not having a single friend at school; but she looks at life so positively that it’s hard to not adore her strength. She doesn’t let these side characters bring her down and continues to dream and hope for a better future, and she strives hard for it.

I’ve come across some hate on her character and even Kim Go Eun for no real reasons apart from the fact that Ji Eun Tak is too young compared to Kim Shin (WTH?). Look people, I really can’t comprehend this – if she is played by an 80-year-old halmoni, she would still be 800 years younger than our dokkaebi so what exactly is the issue here? Nothing. There is no issue and you people are just dirty-minded. The age gap is already addressed by Joseung Saja Kim Woo Bin in episode 6, which means the whole production team knows what they’re doing and it is irrelevant to the plot, so why exactly? LOL?

Some other haters thought they were being critical by saying she is childish and clingy, but I’m really waiting for at least an evidence to prove this claim though. So far no hater has come forth with any so I’m just going to brush this off because it’s just groundless hate. But if you’re referring to how playful and carefree she was around Kim Shin when they first went to Quebec, I’m going to have to call you psycho or just dangerously bitter and I suggest you get help - that’s one serious mental illness you got there. It’s disturbing how people find a way to hate on someone not deserving of hate. Some people just have so much time to waste. If you expect a friendless high school senior who had lived under constant abuse for ten years, been treated unfairly by her teacher and classmates, been told that she wasn’t supposed to be born when she was perfectly healthy at 9 right after her mum’s death to NOT be overwhelmed by excitement and brightly grinning around the first person who had shown her a bit of kindness (buckwheat flowers and a magical trip to Canada) - you have an unreasonable standard for how such a person should act. So playful and carefree, yes. Childish and clingy, no. This girl practically grew up on her own, dealt with all the shit the world had in store for her all by herself, never backed down despite being pressured by negativity from every possible aspect of her life and fiercely refused to give up on surviving despite knowing she was living on borrowed time. Like hello, she works hard at growing up and not getting corrupted by her surroundings and succeeds. How do you hate a character like that? How?

*sigh* Anyway, Eun Tak never fails to surprise me over and over again with her thoughtfulness, endearing quirks and impressive character development – helping the ghost girl to refill her fridge so that her mother deals with her departure easier, laminating the maple leaf as parting gift for the dokkaebi, sweet-talking the dokkaebi into telling her the lottery numbers to help the ghost ahjumma’s children, working out to pull out the sword in one go so as to not hurt our dokkaebi (even while knowing that he would have to leave) because that’s what he wanted and needed from her, picking up the pieces of his heart when Chairman Yoo passed away, defending her ghost unnie from being punished by Kim Shin because she already apologized, graduating college with a degree while battling clinical depression all on her own, becoming a radio PD who inspires her co-workers every day despite having to deal with unspeakable grief every night, suffering hard core abandonment issues for ten years and never really getting over it but still treating undeserving people with kindness, saving a whole group of kindergartners in a heartbeat because someone should and no one else could – I could write a whole paper on why Ji Eun Tak is one of the most inspiring women in literature and get an A+ for it, but I have another paper to finish so I will leave you with this: She is one of the most selfless, courageous, forgiving, loyal and unpredictable characters ever written, and I adore everything about her (and if you think otherwise, I will fight you because you’re wrong). She shines so dazzlingly and honestly all the time without even trying and that means a lot to me, who wishes to write better women in my own fictional works. For the magic that is Ji Eun Tak, I thank writer Kim Eun Sook. You’re inspirational, writer-nim, and Eun Tak is no less.

Alright. That should be it about the main leads. Let’s move on.

Now, one of the best things about Dokkaebi that I really appreciate is the fact that it does not spoon-feed the viewers the character and plot development, and major messages of the drama through straightforward line deliveries and scenes. It respects the viewers as people, who are thinkers, so they are instead done with genius transitions, stunning cinematography, precisely and symbolically placed props and elegant poetry in the multi-layered dialogues. You see all these in every episode but the one part that stunned me the most was when the two school girls were eating at Samshin Halmang’s fish cake stall.

The friend comments on the girl’s hairclip saying that she could just wear it when the father is around because it’s embarrassing. But the girl with the hairclip would not remove it, because she loves her dad and love isn’t something that exists just because the person is there with you. Following this scene was another in which our lonely Kim Shin walks by, wearing Ji Eun Tak’s red scarf around his neck – because his love for her does not fade just because she is not physically there with him. I choked back tears as I connected these two scenes because they were both disheartening and magnificent at the same time and I thanked God for the years I spent attending Literature classes in university. I would have missed half of these flashes of literature brilliance throughout the series if not for the classes. *sobs some more*

Right. In this production, literally no line is delivered for nothing, I promise. This is one of the most powerful conversations in the drama;

Kim Shin: There is no sadness that lasts for eternity. And there is no love that lasts for eternity. Eun Tak: I’m gonna vote that there is. Kim Shin: Which is it? Sadness or love? Eun Tak: Sad love.

and you have to wait until the end of episode 16 to witness the impact of this dialogue on the foreshadowed truth of their cruel yet beautiful destiny. What they had was pure, innocent love, and it was too sad to comprehend, let alone endure. It had and will always be true love, as it had and will always be too sad. But it lasts for eternity, and that’s the most important thing to them – and the rest of the fandom who actually gets it. Because God gave them such fate as a question, and their answer to Him was the best anyone under their circumstances could offer, that’s why they both win in the end. *wow, the feels*

Also, literally no prop is placed in a shot for nothing – buckwheat flowers that symbolize lovers, Joseung Saja’s brooch which hints who he was in his previous life, cotton flowers given to Ji Eun Tak by Samshin Halmang, Memilgun, laminated maple leaf, Eun Tak’s mother’s red scarf, Sunny-not-Sun Hee’s jade ring, star hairclip, candles, rose gold necklace with the word Destin as the locket, red scarf worn by Kim Shin; I could go on and on but let me just tell you that the writing of this drama is no joke. It calms me down a bit, knowing that our writer-nim took six years to complete the manuscript. If she had taken lesser, I will have no choice but to stop believing that she was ever human. So yes, the props. Just do a little research on what they mean and how they fit in each scene and you’ll realize how inventive the direction of this drama is. I’m really running out of adjectives here, people, so I really hope I’ve been making sense.

If you have read my rant up to this point, you would realize that I had been very attentive during the airing of every episode to the point that it’s almost psychotic and I am a rabid worshiper of the writing of this drama. I love it with my entire capacity of appreciating someone’s work and that is huge, even for me. I will defend everything and everyone fiercely so if you’re hating, you need to stay off my radar. And you would also realize that if you haven’t watched it, you really should and that if you already have but didn’t end up crazy, you’re cool. But in all honesty, the writing of this drama is on another level so if you’re the kind of viewer who needs to be told everything (like why didn’t Ji Eun Tak just summon Kim Shin instead of going to Quebec to find him? Or how did Kim Shin made it back? Or why did Ji Eun Tak so easily say ‘I love you’ in the first episode? Or how can this be her first life if Kim Shin first saw her in late Joseon? – I still can’t believe someone actually asked this in the comments section, but yes, I hope you get the idea), then this drama is not for you. You’ll get distracted by the loose ends you thought weren’t tied but were actually knotted in the decisions made by the characters, and that would definitely suck. So you stay happy, and watch another drama. I mean it. I’ve seen enough hate that was based on ignorance and lazy thinking so believe me you don’t wanna be a part of that. It’s really embarrassing to watch and it hurts the people who appreciate the production team’s hard work.

It’s not a difficult drama to revel in, it’s just very intricately and delicately written, the details could be overwhelming, which is why some lazy thinkers won’t and don’t get it thus ending up writing hate comments on both story and characters (although the only character they seem to hate for no obvious reason is Ji Eun Tak but yeah really whatever). I guess that’s the problem with non-thinking people, they go around writing shitty opinions about something they cannot even comprehend, instead of doing something about their disability (read: shallow-mindedness) and I swear to God I have yet to find a hate comment on Dokkaebi that’s not a personal attack on Kim Go Eun and Ji Eun Tak - because as hard as it is for them to accept, these haters have literally nothing on the show. No hate post has ever provided significant instances of the so-called flaws, non-existent chemistry and wonky execution they claim to have noticed in the episodes. They are just making empty claims with no substance or evidence and really, I don’t feel sorry for them at all. They don’t deserve it. I’m just glad I don’t belong to their group. Because honestly, I don’t think people who hate on fictional characters who are all around good and affectionate will ever be good friends to anyone. Seriously, if a person is helpful, brave, warm and compassionate and you still find it inside you to hate on him or her - what does that say about you and your mental state? Right. Exactly my point.

So I really hope that if you haven’t watched it, you would give it a shot. I can’t guarantee you would love it as much as I do, but from where I am, everything I have written about it up to this point is all true. So yes, think about it. I’ll wait. Heh.

OK, my rant is almost over so I’ll jump straight to the most powerful message in the drama that got through to me - selfless love always wins. In the beginning – both Eun Tak and Kim Shin desperately tried to keep each other alive because neither wanted either to die because they wanted to have each other for as long as possible; Kim Shin stopped a huge traffic collision because Eun Tak was on the bus, Eun Tak left the house and disappeared because she could never draw the sword knowing he would perish. This is selfishness, in the sense of wanting your life partner to always be with you at the expense of others (read: Joseung Saja working overtime and Kim Shin having to suffer his punishment longer). But as the drama draws to a close, they both came to realize that love isn’t about holding on to each other no matter what, it’s about returning to each other no matter how far you are separated, by time or distance.

Selflessly and surprising me yet again, Eun Tak decided that her time was up and she should leave the world of the living, but not before earning herself the title Cheonsa for taking the full impact of the crash and saving the lives of innocent children. She was 29, she was a Missing Soul – a Gita Nurakja (thank you, @bodashiri), she has lived long enough on the time that she wasn’t supposed to have and she has always had it coming – so she left because it was for the best. I can’t even begin to tell you how difficult it got from the moment of the crash to Kim Shin falling to his knees, crying out the agony of his most painful loss in 900 years (it must have destroyed him into unrecognizable pieces; being a god and not being able to reach her on time) – my tears wouldn’t stop falling, and my heart broke for both of them. The last time I cried this much was when Dumbledore died and it was so devastating. It wasn’t easy. But it helped a lot to have the Dokkaebi Squad and @supaliaxpress with me through it all, though it was still so overwhelming.

Yet my heart swelled with pride when she decided to not drink the tea of oblivion, because in her short life, she had no regret whatsoever. Most of her 29 borrowed years were filled with suffering and heartaches, but she chooses to keep all of the memories because somewhere among them, there is Kim Shin. And selflessly too, Kim Shin agreed to wait. He could have just accepted God’s forgiveness then and there, cross over and be granted peace, but he let go of that opportunity because he wanted to wait for her in her future reincarnations. He didn’t know if they would be reincarnated in the same lifetime. He didn’t know if they would be able to find each other and we didn’t know how many lives he still has. But she still has another three. So wait for her he did. *sobs OMG WTH* I couldn’t help but smiled tearfully at Eun Tak’s genuine happiness when told that it was her first death. She knew that she was coming back, and she promised to come back running. And came back she did, although it took her many years later. It was perfect. So perfect. So selfless and sad but magically eternal. I couldn’t have asked for a better conclusion. I wouldn’t.

However, some fans have been complaining and suggesting alternate endings all over the internet. I couldn’t bring myself to agree to any of them. An ending where the dokkaebi chooses to become a human and grow old with his bride is an absolute betrayal to the title of the drama and the entire premise the story was built on. And an ending where Eun Tak somehow becomes another dokkaebi and lives forever with Kim Shin would be an insult to the viewers’ intelligence because it was stated loud and clear in episode 4 - if any of them complainers were actually paying attention – that she believes in a love that’s sad but everlasting. And that kind of love wins everything, every single time. Because it is selfless.

Sure, she will grow old and will have to leave him again in the future, and he will have to wait for her again and again until she uses up all her lifetimes. But I’d like to believe that the white butterfly would be merciful towards both of them at the end of her fourth reincarnation, and let them cross over together. Besides, the white butterfly likes Kim Shin for his good looks, and his punishment was long over – so if he asks to go to the afterlife with her, I bet it’ll be granted. I believe that our Dokkaebi couple will get their happily ever after in the end, without either of them having to leave the other, ever again. It’s bittersweet, but it’s the most perfect ending for their story. *uglysobs* So, so perfect, God.

*breathes deeply*

Alright. Congrats upon making it here, if you did. And thank you for taking the time to revisit the story that we all love so much, with me. It’s been a pleasure writing this out. The chaos in my thoughts is now calm so I think I can go back to writing my thesis. But that doesn’t mean I’m moving on. I’ve seen some bloggers writing posts about not being ready to move on from Dokkaebi and I thought to myself, ‘Why should we? Why can’t we just love it forever, re-watch the episodes like we re-read our favorite books and re-live the wonderful memories over and over again?’ Right? So I’ll take my time. I’m in no rush. It’s a beautiful love story. We should let it live.

And finally, I would like to thank the entire production team, especially writer-nim Kim Eun Sook and director-nim Lee Eung-bok for everything that made Dokkaebi the masterpiece that it is. Everything and everyone was right for the drama in their own magical way and it’s an honor to be watching all 16 masterpieces as the rest of the world was. Writer-nim, I don’t know if you will ever see this, but you’re amazing and I hope you hear people telling you that every single day because you deserve it. Thanks for sharing your beautiful story with all of us; Dokkaebi could easily be the closest thing to magic anyone can ever experience, so from the bottom of my heart, thank you.

#naniwrytes #goblin #dokkaebi #gong yoo #kim go eun #lee dong wook #yoo in na #yook sung jae #goryeo #kim shin #ji eun tak #wang yeo #kim sun #sunny #destin #quebec #canada

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fastxandxtardy · 8 years ago

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///Out of Speed///

That promo is creepy.

Nuuuuu I want those people back in real life! Not in the Speed Force : ( Eddie, Lenny ; ;

Was that Zoom??? That’s Zoom! Because Barry hasn’t met Black Flash yet. And it’s ghosts of his past? I hope it’s Zoom, because I prefer his creepy mask a 100 times more than zombie Flash sdmkfjkdsqkjf

And of course... a time wraith. Awesome. This is going to be a great episode for me, isn’t it? *cries* I hate zombie type things! *cries some more*

Also, where the hell does Savitar get off telling Barry he’s cruel?! Pot calling kettle? If Savitar wasn’t such a raving lunatic, the Barry that trapped him wouldn’t have needed to do that to him.

I’m the “Future Flash / future, Flash”? Is it just me or did that sound more like the first possibility? When he said it the first time, I gave it the benefit of the doubt, but he’s said it that same way again. There’s not a significant enough break between the two words so it doesn’t sound like there’s a comma...

That makes me think there are two options: Barry or Wally. Since Wally is supposed to become the Flash after Barry in the comics, isn’t he?

Hence, if Barry gets Wally out of the Speed Force, then Savitar is likely another Barry? Or is it still possible that it’s another Wally... ? I don’t know, I’m confuuused!

One of my brothers thinks Eddie could be an option too. What?! To me that doesn’t have any credibility.

Even if it turns out to be a Barry, it’s not MY Barry. And the one that imprisoned him isn’t my Barry either! So he can call my Barry all he wants, he’s the cruel one, he’s the big bad! Hmpf. This reminds me once more of S1 Eo hating future Barry. Sooooo was the original timeline’s - before Eo messed with it - Flash really a bad asshole OR OR if Savitar does turn out to be a future Barry, was it THAT one that made Eobard hate him??? Hmmm...

Ever since the superflarrow of tomorrow (lol) crossover event I also didn’t have the feeling that the recording of old sounding Barry was about that invasion of the dominators only. Because old sounding Barry told them to not even trust him.

But gosh this is hurting my mind. I still don’t fully get how timelines and time travel works...

OH OH, btw, HR... am I the only one who has the feeling there’s still stuff we don’t know about him yet? Savitar called him a ‘pretender’ again. And he’s the only one who is supposedly going to escape his wrath? How is that?

EOBARD GOT MENTIONED AGAIN!

I’m still not over the moment of Wally getting destroyed and sucked into the Speed Force tbh. That was almost as painful as watching Barry being incinerated by Harry’s particle accelerator last year. Because at least this time, I immediately knew that he can still come back. Before I watched the promo of the Speed Force epi last year, I legit thought Barry was dead and gone omg. That was a complete sobfest. My brother had to calm me down on the phone. That was probably one of the silliest reasons I’ve ever had an anxiety attack for...

Can Barry stop blaming himself, please? Thanks.

Can people stop saying that he didn’t even want to save Wally? How about you try and stand there seeing someone you care about being ripped to shreds and sucked into a vortex fearing that you could get sucked in as well. And then who’s going to save the both of them? Jesse? While Jesse is super kickass awesome, she doesn’t have the same experience as he has. There was no saving Wally in that exact moment and trying it could have doomed them both and with them the rest of Team Flash (and maybe even the world). Don’t people get that he was afraid? Afraid that he could ruin everything. He even blames himself for it. What he said about fear didn’t only refer to Flashpoint, it refered to him trying to stop Iris’ possible death, and what kept him from trying But in the moment, it was his only safe option. Now, with the help of Cisco, he’ll do everything he can to bring Wally back. It won’t be without danger either but at least now he’ll have help on the outside, Cisco as a tether to the real world.

I really wish people could realize that if Barry did only care about himself and his own feelings or happiness, he would have stayed in Flashpoint and let that become the new reality.

#ooc #///Out of Speed///#The Flash #spoilers #speculation #theories

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helloworlddemo1122-yahoopar-blog · 7 years ago

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My 5: Cameron Esposito Picks Her Top Queer Movies for Every Taste (Exclusive)

Queery is more than a podcast for Cameron Esposito -- it's a way of life. If you've ever seen the 36-year-old comedian perform live, tuned into her and wife Rhea Butcher's Seeso show, Take My Wife, or listened to her podcasts (Esposito and Butcher also host a weekly show, Put Your Hands Together, at Los Angeles' UCB Theater, which is recorded for a podcast of the same name), it's obvious that Esposito loves chronicling queer culture. "Queer people are from and continue to live everywhere in this country, born into or raised within every type of family," she explains to ET. "We are your neighbors, co-workers and loved ones, but we are also ourselves. So often queer folks are approached as other, but for me and other queer folks, we experience the world through queerness. We have a culture and shared experience." Though her stand-up comedy is already focused on lesbianism and day-to-day life with her wife and friends, Esposito started Queery last August to dig deeper into her community and bring the LGBTQ+ fight for equality to the forefront through intellectual discussions and compelling stories.

"The queer community is experiencing the fastest civil rights movement of all time. Marriage equality didn’t fix things, but the shift in civil rights protections for LGBTQ+ folks in the last two decades has been huge," says Esposito, whose goal it is to create a safer and more inclusive space for the community. "Of course, we are also experiencing some backsliding under the current administration. We almost have these microgenerations going on, where every five to 10 years we've fought a different fight. From the AIDS epidemic to anti-trans bathroom bills, we've dealt with so much, and we are a truly diverse family, part of every demographic. I wanted to try to record in-group conversations between myself and other members of the community because we have the means to preserve this moment in time and better know our history."

Queery

Though Esposito is excited for upcoming guests like New York Times best-selling author Roxane Gay andDrag Race All-Stars winner Trixie Mattel, she's already learned a ton from the famous folks who've previously chatted with her, which included talking maternity clothes with Evan Rachel Wood, wedding prep with Master of None writer-actor Lena Waithe and what it's like to go to a gay bar in a wheelchair with Speechless consultant Eva Sweeney. So who's on her wish list for future episodes? The likes of Adam Rippon, Laverne Cox, kd lang and Cynthia Nixon. Since Esposito is a self-described "true expert when it comes to queer cinema" (not that we expected anything less), we tasked her with picking five queer movies that can suit anyone's tastes. She eschewed the ones she assumed the masses had seen, like Moonlight, Call Me by Your Name, Carol, Tangerine and Love, Simonfor a few lesser-known films that she says will help "round out your education."

For the History Buff: Paris Is Burning

Miramax Films

"This doc about the New York drag ball scene in the 1980s will break your heart, lift your spirits and give you a true sense of the folks who gave us the freedom and culture we have today, especially if you are under the misconception that queerness or transness is rooted in whiteness. And spoiler: people of color have always been leading the charge and creating space for community. Beyond queer culture, watch Paris Is Burning to get some perspective on the origin of voguing and 'yas queen.'"

For the Lovers: Weekend

Glendale Picture Company

"Perhaps you're familiar with Andrew Haigh's HBO series, Looking, which helped cement stardom for Jonathan Groff and led us all to Groff's amazing work starring in Netflix's Mindhunter, but if you missed Haigh's 2011 film, Weekend, and you're in the mood to really feel something for once in your life, Weekend is the movie for you. It's honestly one of the most romantic movies I've ever seen, and it's beautifully acted. Perfect for date night or a post-breakup sobfest."

For the True Indie Fan: Go Fish

The Samuel Goldwyn Company

"Sure, The L Word writer, director and co-executive producer Rose Troche gave us lesbians talking, laughing, loving, breathing and fighting, but if you want to see a much artier side of Troche's work, Go Fish is for you. Co-written and starring then-partner Guinevere Turner, this '90s indie flick is all the things we look for in a movie today: intersectional, real, raw and inclusive of many types of queer identity. The movie also made history as the first film sold to a distributor during the Sundance Film Festival. Watch it and you'll see why."

For Those Coming of Age and Coming Out: Pariah and But I'm a Cheerleader

Lionsgate

"I couldn't pick between these two films, which have very different tones, and I don't need to -- watch them both!" Before her film, Mudbound, director Dee Rees made Pariah. It's sweet and painful and features excellent dramatic performances by Adepero Oduye and Kim Wayans. But I'm a Cheerleader is a comedy and a lot lighter, but it still packs an emotional punch. Watch to see the first onscreen collaboration between Clea DuVall, Natasha Lyonne and Melanie Lynskey, then add a third movie to your evening and see that cast reconnect in DuVall's 2016 directorial debut, The Intervention."

For the Whole Family: Saving Face

Sony Pictures Entertainment

"If I had to pick just one movie that helped me when I was coming out, it'd be Saving Face. Set within the context of a close, traditional Chinese-American family, this is the movie I modeled when coming out to my close, traditional Italian-American family. Director Alice Wu is a software engineer by trade, took screenwriting classes outside of work and gave herself five years to try and get this movie made. I will always be grateful that she did." Queery is available on Stitcher, iTunes or wherever you listen to podcasts. RELATED CONTENT:

My 5: Julian McCullough's Biggest Pop Culture Soft Spots (Exclusive)

My 5: Hannah Hart's Favorite Books to Get Into the Self-Care Groove (Exclusive)

Laverne Cox Slays as 'Cosmopolitan's First-Ever Transgender Cover Star

#_revsp:new_provider_with_logo_342 #_uuid:74270119-1a38-3731-9286-acd0db95b593 #_lmsid:a0VK0000001yfWcMAI

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sophiajordan19-blog · 8 years ago

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Friends: Chandler version.

*What if a show with multiple main characters and points of view only had one point of view? What if it was only Chandler that told the story of the episode and we saw what happened in that episode through him? How might that go?

----

So I’m sitting at the coffeehouse right, and I’m sitting with my newspaper, sipping my coffee, because, you know, adults like me do that kind of thing. So Rachel is waiting tables (while asking customers for extra tips... weird) while Pheebs and Ross are sitting here with me and we are all kind of doing our own thing. “Only 98.50 to go” I hear Rachel behind me. Then Monica comes in.

“Hey” she greets us, “Did you know that mom and dad are going to Puerto Rico for Thanksgiving?”

She’s talking to Ross here, he goes “No, they’re not��.

But she’s like “Yes they are the Blymans invited them”.

Though he’s convinced that they are not so he calls his parents and it turns out that they are.

But while Ross is calling them, Joey walks in and oh my god his face… hah!get this, he’s wearing makeup! He sits down and he’s like, “as of today, I am Joey Tribbiani: actor slash model”.

And I’m just joking like “that’s so funny because ‘cause I was thinking you look more like Joey Tribbiani: man slash woman”. But it really turns out that he’s modeling to be on a poster for the city free clinic. He doesn’t know which health issue he’ll be advertising for so we’ll just have to see.

So Ross comes back and he’s mad because I’m guessing they go to Thanksgiving with their parents and this year obviously will not.

Then Monica comes up with this idea: “How about if I make [thanksgiving] dinner at my place?” then she goes “Joey you’re going home right?” which he is, “and I assume, Chandler, you’re still boycotting all the pilgrim holidays?”

“Yes. Every single one of them” I reply. I hate Thanksgiving.

She continues “and Phoebe, you’ll be with your grandma?”

Phoebe responds “Yeah, and her boyfriend, but we are celebrating Thanksgiving in December because he’s lunar” God, Pheebs is weird, but we love her. So she’s now going to spend Thanksgiving with Ross and Monica.

Then there’s Rachel, who now tells us that she’s trying to make a hundred bucks to get a flight to Vail to go skiing with her family for Thanksgiving. Oh�� that’s what the 98.50 was for.

“Only $102 to go” she says.

Hold on, “I thought it was 98.50?”

“It was, but I broke a cup”.

Then Ross got up to go to his ex wife, Carol’s house who is now a lesbian and is carrying Ross’s child. Very, VERY messed up relationship there.

After that, everyone just kind of left their separate things. I went back to Monica’s and sat on the couch for about 3 hours.

So Ross comes back from Carol’s and sits at the table and he’s sitting in front of this giant about-to-be-cooked turkey. Apparently his ex-wife’s girlfriend is speaking to their unborn child by talking to Carol’s stomach. Crazy lunatics parents are you know. That is the reason I am NEVER having kids ulghh! Once people have kids they become TOTALLY different people, they get all responsible and stuff. Just the thought of it freaks me out!

Then Rachel walks in and the rest of us thought it would be nice if each of us chipped in 20 bucks so she could get the money to go to Vail, because there was (haha) NO way that Rachel was ever going to get that much with her waitressing job. So she’s sitting on the couch having no idea that we have done this and she’s all like disappointed that she doesn’t have the money to go. And then Monica hands her the envelope. She opens it and she’s so grateful we all hug her and that’s that.

Then thank GOD Monica brings out my traditional holiday feast:

Tomato soup, grilled cheese fix-ins, and my very large family size bag of Funions. Could it GET any better than this?

I am handed this lovely bag of the healthiest foods and Rachel goes, “Wait, wait Chandler, this is what you're having for Thanksgiving? What is it with you and this holiday?” And ahhh my favorite story. She’s new and I think EVERYONE should know this, I mean they do so might as well tell it again:

“Alright I’m nine years old. We have just finished this magnificent Thanksgiving dinner, I have -and I remember this part vividly- a mouthful of pumpkin pie, and this is the moment my parents choose to tell me they’re getting divorced…. Yes, yes very difficult to enjoy Thanksgiving dinner when you’ve seen it in reverse”. So yes, that is the story of my life THANK YOU LADIES AND GENTLEMEN.

Anyway moving on, GUESS WHAT POSTER JOEY GOT PUT ON?! It was for, get this, SYPHILIS. And it’s all over New York, I mean literally everywhere. Everyone and their brother most likely seen it one hundred million times. Could this BE anymore embarrassing, I mean I almost feel bad about it. So the rest of us are sitting in the coffee shop the next morning just laughing our heads off about this when Joey walks in.

“So I guess you all saw it?” he says smiles, I can tell he’s just full of regret.

Now we are just all trying so hard not to laugh because he is our friend and it’s not cool but then Phoebe goes, “No we are just laughing, you know how laughter can be infectious” and after that the rest of us just lost it.

Then Ross went back to Carol’s to also talk to Carol’s stomach/his unborn child whichever sounds the most ridiculous. Rachel went to the airport to get her ticket for Vail. Monica and Pheebs cooked Thanksgiving dinner and I just kind of hung out in the apartment while they were doing that. There was no way I was going to help them. Too much Thanksgiving...ness.

Joey walks in, “Set another place for Thanksgiving. My entire family thinks I have VD” he says to Monica.

Ahh Thanksgiving, “Tonight on a very special blossom” I say. Gotta LOVE this holiday. And that was pretty much that day.

Now, today, is Thanksgiving.

Rachel comes in all cheerful. Ulghh why today? Anyway she’s like “Five minutes from now” now making skiing gestures with her hands, “Shoop, shoop, shoop”.

My GOD, “Oh, you must stop shooping” I say to her. Though it is nice that at least one of us actually had plans that worked for today (other than me). And my plan for today is to stay away from all the Thanksgiving... ness and merriment and sit in my self loathing of my parents divorce. Great.

Now Pheebs is just flying pies at me just to tease me with my hate of this holiday. Man, it’s just not funny anymore. So then I just kind of left to go watch the news because, you know, the news is depressing, like me now. So I’m flipping through the channels and I see the most INCREDIBLE THING EVER! I have to go back across the hall to tell them.

I burst through the door, “The most unbelievable thing has happened! Underdog, has gotten away”

“The balloon?” Joey says.

“No, no the actual cartoon character” pfft, I wish, “Of course the balloon! It’s all over the news, right before he reached Macy’s he broke free and was spotted flying over Washington Square park. I’m going to the roof, who’s with me?”

Everyone moving out the door but Rachel, “I can’t, I gotta go!”

“Come on an eighty-foot inflatable dog loose over the city how often does that happen?” I say back.

“Almost never” replies Phoebe and we all leave the apartment and run to the roof. And OH MY GOD it was HUGE! It was so funny to watch the multitude of police trying to catch the inflatable dog. They eventually had to shoot it down because it was “causing too much of a scene”. It was kind of sad really.

So we all are in front of the door of their apartment and Monica goes “Ok! Right about now the turkey should be crispy on the outside, juicy on the inside” I mean, not that I care. But now I’m just hungry. Then she says, “Why are we standing here?”

Rachel answers, “We’re waiting for you to open the door, you’ve got the keys”

“No I don’t”

“Yes you do, when we left you said ‘Got the keys’”

“No I didn’t, I asked, ‘Got the ke-eys?’”

“No you didn’t you said ‘Got the keys.’”

Ok now this is becoming ridiculous, “Either of you have the ke-eys?”

So apparently neither of them do and also apparently the stove is on with our fantastic Thanksgiving dinner and Rachel’s plane ticket is in there. Then Joey has the brilliant thought that we have an extra copy of their key in our apartment across the hall. In there, we apparently have a drawer with like a million extra keys we never use.

We bring the drawer out and Joey starts trying keys to find the one. I am holding the drawer and he’s doing the fitting. Long story short, we have been here trying keys for what feels like an ETERNITY.

Monica is getting impatient, “Can you go any faster with that?”

“Hey, I got one keyhole, and about a zillion keys. You do the math!” Oh my god, I think that’s the first time I have ever seen Joey ‘do math’ in my life.

Then I think I made some joke to Rachel and all of a sudden she just took me by my shirt and started whining about how she could have been on a plane at that moment as if she was blaming me for this incident. Pfft.

Then Rachel and Monica went on arguing about the damn keys. Man they were so loud, I don’t think that there was a man on Mars that didn’t quite hear them. Joey and I are just watching them argue like ‘whoa thank god we are much better roommates than them’. Then Monica goes on this whole spiel about how she’s making this dinner and how now it’s all ruined and whatever but the whole thing kind of just turned into this sobfest. So, I said something like “Hey Monica, only dogs can hear you now so look the door is open”.

We all walk in and it’s just smoke everywhere and it smells like burned potatoes.

This is the time that Ross just decides to walk in singing (perfect timing really).

Rachel is now angry because she missed her flight. She’s like “now I’m stuck here with you guys”. Then all of them get in this big argument about how this dinner wasn’t anyone’s first choice and now it’s all ruined and it sucks.

So while all this is going on I’m just sitting by the door like “now this feels like Thanksgiving”. Now everybody feels my pain of today. And I love it.

Now we are all just pissed. All of us sitting around the apartment thinking about how sucky this holiday is. As I always do and like how I am now.

I see Phoebe is sitting by the window, she says something “Ew! Ugly-naked-guy is taking his turkey out of the oven!” Eh, not important. She gasps, “Oh my god! He’s not alone. Ugly-naked-guy is having Thanksgiving dinner with ugly-naked-gal. We all rush to the window. It’s really nice, both of them look so happy and honestly grateful to just be with each other. We are all gushing at them and then Pheebs goes “It’s nice that he has someone”. So despite this sucky day, we all reconcile and have ‘Thanksgiving meal’ according to my big bag of goodies. So that means a fantastic grilled cheese meal, courtesy of the chef, myself.

“Shall I carve?” I say standing at the head of the table with the plate of stacked grilled cheeses.

And then Monica and Joey do the cheesy thing (pun intended) where they split a sandwich wishbone style. Then I figure I say something to the group like in most Thanksgiving tradition where the head of the table says something like that.

“I would like to propose a toast, I know this isn’t the kind of Thanksgiving you all planned, but for me this has been really great, you know. I think because it didn’t involve divorce or projectile vomiting. Anyway I was just thinking if you had gone to Vail, or you guys had been with your families, or if you didn’t have syphilis and stuff, that we wouldn’t be all together, you know. So I guess what I’m trying to say is that I’m very thankful that all of your Thanksgivings’ sucked”. So, again, THANK YOU LADIES AND GENTLEMEN GOOD NIGHT!

#thiswasfourpagesongoogledocs #hadsomuchfundoingthis #almostreverserashomoneffect

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