#what a nightmare sleep schedule
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witless-winion1 Ā· 8 days ago
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I imagine that at some point after he gets home Odysseus and Penelope talk about the kingdom and how she has been running it (with Telemachus’ help in recent years) but still mostly on her own and he immediately wants to lift that burden of hers and so he tries to immediately get back into politics but he is so hopelessly out of the loop that Penelope and Telemachus have to help ease him back into it anyway
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mer-se Ā· 2 months ago
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So much of anxiety is living in both the past and future and not being present so, I’m trying to make a conscious effort to stay in the present from now on because I literally don’t actually exist anywhere else. so whats that matter - we just have right now. Constant worrying doesn’t actually alter anything. If bad, shitty stressful things are going to happen they will, there’s no control in that. Just have to live. Just have to continue, adapt and do the best you can in the moment you’re actually fucking in and keep going. Gotta go through bad stuff to get to the cool shit. There’s always good stuff coming. Either way you gotta just keep going.
so presently I’m standing in my kitchen and it’s crazy foggy outside. I have the worlds most precious cat at my feet and i’m eating warmed homemade coffee cake.
#I also popped a b12 so that helps everything#my sleep schedules been really good lately too#I get up early and I'm busy until late so trying to slow my thoughts down to what's going on right in front of me#l tell everyone else to do that but don't always follow it myself because u know#the Disorders#haven't rly had my late night decompression I love but that's ok#I have that now in the morning for the moment#when I woke up my bedroom window was wide open and it felt and smelled like fall#felt cleansed and when I saw the fog immediately wanted to go to this little town near the beach that looks incredible foggy#but didn’t#went and made breakfast and lunches stupid early and been having a slow day since#I'm always fast and 5 steps ahead and I'm gonna ya know try not to do that anymore#I recognize that’s a survival instinct to be hypervigilant all the time I’ve been that way since childhood#and pair that with the last couple years health weirdness it's been a lot mentally#l've actually been thinking about checking out therapy especially for my ocd#I've gotten a handle on certain things but that's one thing that I still struggle with#especially because it latches onto real stressors and it can be a personal nightmare honestly#but with the right tools and time can get there#a therapist overall is probably a good idea too everyone needs one honestly lol#not me usually because I'm my own best therapist but maybe that's my problem#either way I'm a strong bitch it'll be fine#what’ll be will be#gonna drop the need for control on things I can't control and yeah! that's it#gonna look out the window about it#and take things as they come#and do scary and new shit#and push myself but also remember to be gentle with myself#and I'm gonna try not to be mean to anyone at work today but I can't make any promises#this coffee cake is the best thing in the world i'm sry you don't have it in your mouth too#wrote this hours ago but sentiment still stands and I haven’t been mean yet but there’s still time
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holyharpiess Ā· 6 months ago
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5am and I just made mac and cheese
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redspex Ā· 10 months ago
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making art save me. save me making art. making art.
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chiff0n-echz Ā· 2 years ago
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Jester passive Nightmare ✷
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kravchikfreak Ā· 8 months ago
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so... this is what i sacrificed my night's sleep for? i hate it here
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watermelinoe Ā· 1 year ago
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i think the circadian rhythm disorder has ruined my life more than the pain disorder tbh
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nightfayre Ā· 2 years ago
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things have been rough lately… tale as old as time
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underwhelmingalchemist Ā· 1 year ago
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Starting pride month with the pharmacy denying me my testosterone prescription until mid-June and my doctor saying she can't do anything about it because it's a controlled substance šŸ™ƒāœŒļø
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exopelagic Ā· 1 year ago
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okay I’m going insane I need to fix my sleep schedule now
#I cannot keep getting up at/after midday this is driving me crazy#SO. I’m gonna not do ice hockey for a little bit until I can get myself normal#I want to step away from ice hockey anyway bc the new committee are being annoying and I need them to stop making me do things#tonight I will go to bed at midnight. and I will stop everything to get ready for bed by 10 bc I need that time#and tomorrow I’m setting my alarm for 7:30#I’m going to have mornings again if it kills me bc this is making me feel like shit now#will also mean hopefully I’m less stressed about work and can schedule stuff with my friends bc oh my god everything has been a nightmare#this week. and it’s only Tuesday what the fuck#also going to make a sleep tracker again bc that worked in February#and I’m setting library times for weekdays as 9:30-12 and 2-5 because getting there is the problem and I normally stay longer once I’m ther#and that worked for exams AND there’s just less work to do now so if I can keep on top of it everything should be fine#just have to actually do it#like right now I rlly need to go get writing bc I need to figure out some title options and that needs to be done by tomorrow afternoon#otherwise there won’t be time to get feedback from my supervisor before the deadline#so while today might be a bit of a lost cause bc I need to shower go to the shop and cook which takes most of the free working time#I can do something and if I can make tomorrow morning work I’ll have enough time#I’m okay with having periodic getting my shit together days as long as I do use them to get my shit together#now pls. get your shit together <3#luke.txt
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arctic-hands Ā· 2 years ago
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My last bout of sleep paralysis (which was when I was recently hospitalized for nine days and getting no sleep because literally almost every half hour someone was waking me up for vitals or a blood drawl or to give me medicine or to prod my stomach or the attending bringing in the interns because I'm a great case study or because my infusion pump wanted to make obnoxious noises for no reason) was so horrific that when I told my therapist about it yesterday she visibly paled and freaked out on my behalf. Is that a good sign?
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dzozef Ā· 6 months ago
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im so sleep deprived im in that stage where i hit rem phase in less than 10 seconds
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akrz Ā· 11 months ago
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Tomorrow I have to wake up at like 6:30 so I think that going to sleep at 2am is an amazing idea
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glimpsesofeuterpe Ā· 1 year ago
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apparently i kinda switched from avoiding sleep bcs same stupid nightmare to avoiding sleep bcs lucid dreams are way too nice there must be a catch
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deepspace-scenarios Ā· 14 days ago
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[scenario/drabble] Resonance and first-aid
Summary: LIs react when they accidentally injure you during orbital trials- you brush it off, but you soon realise it makes them confront fears and their past. (All ends well, just with some fretting and worrying because the LIs have a very soft spot for you</3)
Genre: Fluff, hurt/comfort, mentions of injury (non-graphic), vague references to myths.
SYLUS
Most of the time, resonance is easy to achieve with Sylus. The familiar surge of energy ripples through you, and a powerful wave rushes towards the charging Wanderer.
And then something hits. You feel yourself getting knocked back several feet, a feeling of burning, twisting pain coursing through you. It's not even the ball of energy itself- just tendrils of black and red, gone astray.
The Wanderer dissolves into embers, its skeletal wings crumbling to ash. Sylus dusts off his hands, the red-black mist fading from his fingertips- until he sees you wince while sheathing your sword.
"Let me see." His voice is almost unnervingly calm, devoid of his typical casual smugness after victory.
You press a hand to the darkening bruise at your waist. "Just a bruise. Some ointment can fix it."
His fingers twitch. For a man who thrives on control, the mistake is unacceptable.
"Sylus," you murmur, catching his wrist. "It’s fine."
His jaw clenches. Somewhere in his ancient, draconic memories, he was doomed with a fate where his lover would be far from fine.
You pry open his closed fist and kiss his palm, breaking the spiral. "I won't get upset over a small accident. And you can patch me up, handsome.ā€
He shuts his eyes and pinches the bridge of his nose,
ā€œKitten,ā€
You decide to tease him- surely a little distraction wouldn't hurt. ā€œBesides… it's not the first time you've left bruises on my skin."
His laugh is rough, but he pulls you close, his touch too gentle.
ā€œI only take pleasure when I leave marks on you intentionally,ā€ he murmurs, his hand trailing down your arm and settling on your elbow. ā€œI hate the very idea of causing you pain,ā€
His gaze burns with an intense mix of raw, unfiltered pain- something that runs deeper than his strength and power. You reach up to stroke his cheek in consolation, eliciting a soft exhale from him as he leans into your touch.
ā€œAt least now I know how powerful your Evol is during battle,ā€ you say with a small smile.
ā€œIs this… your coping mechanism, sweetie? You've been doing nothing but flirting with me,ā€ He asks dryly.
ā€œI'm showing you there's no need to blame yourse- agh!ā€
Your world tilts as he sweeps you into his arms, carrying you. Mist swirls into a thick cloak, and you're back at his home in a blink.
He doesn't let you lift a single finger until he's sure your condition is stable, and until your bruise is dressed with sterile gauze above a thick layer of ointment.
ā€œI called in sick for you,ā€ he announces as he joins you under the covers, his warmth seeping into the shared space instantly. ā€œYou're not leaving until you're in a better condition,ā€
ā€œOr what? You're gonna tie me to the bed?ā€
ā€œYou sound too excited for that sort of thing, kitten.ā€
Little did you know, he's already cleared his entire night's schedule to watch over you as you rest, the weight in his chest lifting ever so slightly when he witnesses you sleeping peacefully until the first light of dawn filters through the curtains.
_____
ZAYNE
The Wanderer’s firey breath comes from behind- Zayne reacts instantly, ice erupting in a shield. But the frost spreads, searing your back with cold. Your knees almost buckle, but you force yourself to turn and grab Zayne to resonate with him- the Wanderer dissipates, splintering into embers in the air.
Before you can fall, Zayne catches you.
"Don’t move," he orders. His usual clinical tone is too sharp, his breaths too measured.
You know why. The nightmares where he loses control- where you freeze under his hands.
"Zayne," you say softly, reaching for his hand. "Look at me, love. I’m here. I'm not going anywhere."
His fingers tremble.
"I know," he grits out, then steadies himself with another measured inhale-exhale. ā€œLet me inspect the injury,ā€
You recognise this Zayne- right now, he's a combat medic, moving almost with tunnel vision to assess, diagnose and treat. You tug at the zipper of your gear, trying to shrug off the material to let him access the wound properly.
His hands stop you, ā€œDon't make unnecessary movements. Allow me to do it instead,ā€
You nod, feeling your cheeks grow warm as the fabric is removed - then draped modestly across your front again.
"Minor second-degree," he mutters, noting the reddened areas with faint swelling. "No necrosis. Fortunate.ā€
Once he rushes you home, he fills a basin with lukewarm water and adds a mild antiseptic before dabbing at the wound. You tense from the sensation, and Zayne pauses.
ā€œOn a scale of one to ten, how badly does it hurt?ā€ He asks, voice almost stern.
You gnaw at your lip, knowing not to hide your pain from him. It'll only deepen his guilt.
So you ramble, trying to be a compliant patient for him. ā€œMaybe… about six? Six point five? But keep going, I don't think I'll deteriorate. The antiseptic feels strange- prickly, but nothing too bad.ā€
He exhales quietly behind you, and you feel the warm, damp cotton dab lightly onto your skin again.
He's never talkative, but the silence is heavy with a dense web of tangled emotions that had you scrambling for ways to lessen the weight on Zayne's shoulders.
ā€œDr. Zayne? I have a question.ā€ You begin.
His hand pauses yet again, but he quickly recovers. ā€œHm?ā€
ā€œWill it be safe for me to give hugs after this treatment?ā€
You hear him swallow audibly, and he lets out a short sigh- the kind that's stuck between exasperation and amusement.
ā€œIf you move slowly and take extra care, then yes, you may. But cease any movement that causes the slightest discomfort,ā€
He bandages you like you’re glass.
Later on, you hug him, long enough to feel the tension ease just the slightest.
Nothing verbal can comfort him right now- no reassurances, no saccharine words- you know it all just gets pushed aside by the persistent, haunting nightmares that he has.
He doesn't move, doesn't try to reject the hug- and you know this is him telling you how much he needs this. So you wait, with your arms wrapped around his torso and your face pressed to his chest.
Seconds turn into minutes- then you feel the gentle, hesitant presence of his hand as he cradles the back of your head gingerly. You hug him tighter.
Your warmth and your heartbeat is enough to let him know- you're safe, and this is not a dream, and that you love him all the same.
_____
RAFAYEL
Your shoulder burns where Rafayel’s dagger grazes you- a misaimed throw meant for the Wanderer. The pain gets masked by adrenaline, but you can feel the difference when you move.
Rafayel doesn't notice the sluggishness in your movements just yet, the way you push yourself to keep up with him, hiding the crimson of your clothes within the chaotic blur of battle.
His dance is deadly and alluring, with flashes of his blade and twisting flames sending the Wanderer hurtling backwards.
It is only after the Wanderer bursts into fragments of ash and lingering crackles of energy, when he gasps.
"Don’t-" He’s there in an instant, hands hovering. No theatrics. No jokes. Just agitation.
You’ve never seen him like this.
"Raf, it’s just an accident-"
"No." His voice cracks. Eight hundred years ago, he inflicted a fatal wound- one he has never forgiven himself for.
He doesn't speak the entire way home, and dresses the cut with uncharacteristic silence, his fingers lingering as you sit and watch him work.
"You’re never, ever allowed to bleed for me again," he whispers when he's done, kneeling in front of you on the sofa like he's praying for forgiveness.
You cup his face, looking into his eyes- blue, pink, purple- flooded with an intense guilt that has you lost in the melacholy depths until you're blinking back tears yourself.
"Hey, accidents happen," You say softly, "-and I'm fine. So stop looking so guilty, fishie."
His laugh is watery, but he kisses your palm- like he’s reminding himself you’re real, and safe.
ā€œC'mon, Raf. Please?ā€ You ask, unsure of what you're requesting- for him to look less devastated? For him to trust you as his bodyguard?
He makes a muffled noise, avoiding your gaze now. ā€œI hurt you, and I can't even hug you now because that's gonna make you bleed-ā€
You poke his cheek, hoping it draws him out from his gloomy state.
ā€œJust because you're my bodyguard doesn't mean you can endanger yourself,ā€ he pouts, gently taking your hands and moving them to his chest.
He lets out a shaky sigh. ā€œJust- stay with me for a while longer.ā€
Later, he maneuvers you until your legs are draped sideways across his lap, and he holds you like the dearest treasure he's ever found.
(He tells you that your bodyguard duties are off for the next two months. ā€œYou're just my cutie now, Miss Bodyguard can go hibernate,ā€ he declares.)
_____
XAVIER
Xavier’s sword swings wide as he leaps to deliver the finishing blow. There's a rare misjudgment- and it nicks your calf.
He moves in a blur, and returns to your side before the remnants of the Wanderer disappear.
"We're going to the clinic," he says, sheathing his blade. Before you can protest, he’s lifting you into his arms.
"Xavier! I can walk-"
"Apologies aren't genuine without action," His grip tightens as he looks down at you, his eyes carrying the depth of stars lost to supernovas, and a rawness so far from his usual tenderness and calm that makes your breath stutter.
At your embarrassed squirming, his brows crease. "Are you rejecting my apology?"
You huff, thinking of showing up at the Hunter's clinic in his arms. "No- you’ll- you might get tired."
He holds you with soft desperation, careful yet with a grip tight like he fears you would slip between his fingers like stardust.
"My dear partner, this is the least I can do,ā€ he says, voice wavering. ā€œNow hold tight, we're taking a shortcut-ā€
Once your wound is dressed at the clinic and you are tucked into bed- he finally, finally allows himself to unravel and apologize to you, over and over again in hushed whispers.
He only stops when you press your lips to his, his eyes widening before he embraces you, exhaling a shaky breath.
His arms remain around you until you two fall asleep, with the moon bearing witness to his silent promise of everlasting protection over you.
______
CALEB
Caleb's gun kicks back harder than expected after resonating, and he slams into you.
You throw your arm out instinctively to break the fall, but the impact still sends you both crashing to the ground.
There's a tearing pain in your shoulder, and your breath is knocked straight out of you upon impact, leaving you dazed as you watch the crumbling Wanderer scatter in the wind.
"Oh, shit," Caleb's up instantly, scanning for injuries. "You alright, pips?"
You shift, forcing yourself to sit up despite the burn in your shoulder. "Just a strain.ā€
But he sees the way you wince, and his jaw is set. The man who vowed you’d always be safe at his side just failed.
"Caleb," you sigh, moving to pick up your weapon. ā€œI'm fine, I swear,ā€
Caleb stops you, an arm hooking around your waist from behind as he makes the weapon float back to you instead.
"Major threat was eliminated. We're safe." You protest at his sudden surge of protectiveness, catching the gun.
His laugh is rough, frayed with a sort of mirthless desperation that wrenches through you harder than moving your injured shoulder.
ā€œWe're safe,ā€ he begins, echoing you, ā€œbut you're staying with me to get your injury checked.ā€
Later, he sits you on the kitchen stool to inspect the injury with meticulous precision.
ā€œDon't bite your lips so hard,ā€ he orders, stopping his inspection and handing you a few unwrapped Hi-Chew candies of all things. ā€œHave these instead,ā€
You hum, popping the tiny eraser-shaped candies into your mouth and letting the fruity, chewy sweetness dull the pain.
When Caleb puts anti-inflammatory cream on your shoulders, you feel his touch linger.
"I'll do better next time. I'm not letting anything hurt you, Pips. And don't even think about doing any work- you'll be resting under my watch this week.ā€
Note: Pls protect Zayne and Rafayel poor bbs going through all that in the recnt updates make me so :(((( i love them ALSO this piece was inspired by an ask from an anon reader. thanks for reading <333
Click here for the opposite scenario
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olli-online Ā· 2 years ago
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i need to watch him play stray while i get ready to sleep
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