#what a dweeb omfg

[nymphomatique]

reader asking forcing. loser!miguel to tell her his desired fantasy and since she’s feeling a bit nice that day she decides she’ll indulge it for him <3 (i feel like he’d so be into roleplay hehe ><)

nonnie ur brain.. hold on.

cw: fem/dom reader, sub!miguel <3, slight mentions of shoe play, talks of punishment and like SLIGHT exhibitionism, miguel being a simp bit what’s new, a kiss 🤭, on da sweeter side, and as per usual: definitely not proof read lol enjoy 💋

a/n: i went tame for this but suggest what role play ideas u have bc miguel is DEFINITELY into that. like imagine him acting as readers maid.. in the maid outfit.. omfg.

“miguel?”

“ah! y-yes?” he answers between a moan. you’re currently sitting on your bed, miguel sitting upright facing you on your floor as you trail your heeled foot up his crotch.

“tell me something,” you start, cocking your head sideways and leaning forward to look at him a little closer. as you lean forwards your breasts spill over the the corset top you have on. you begin to use more friction with your foot, and his moans become more feverish. “what’s your fantasy? entertain me, i’m in a good mood tonight.”

and a good mood it was, you stumbled into your dorm at around 2 in the morning, miguel waiting patiently for you outside your door, kneeling in the empty hall just like you asked, when you texted him rather drunkenly from the club that you wanted to play with him.

miguel’s face flushes, his chocolate brown eyes hiding behind his glasses. “i- ah.. f-fuck. i don’t know..” he trails off, bucking lightly into your red bottom.

“you have one more time to lie to me before this turns into a ball busting session, dweeb,” you spit, halting your teasing and looking at him intensely. you can visually see him fold under your stare. “w-well..”

“go on,” you encourage, slowly starting your teasing with your heel back up.

“i’ve always wanted to- ah! to take someone on a dinner, all fancy. a-and in the middle of the restaurant, she starts to..” he halts, his lips tightening and his face going red.

“i said go on, miguel,” you say nonchalantly, but your heel applying pressure to miguel’s crotch. he lets out a sharp shudder and a string of curses under his breath, and then resumes.

“what we’re doing now.. tease me all dinner, and th-then punish me in the restroom for getting excited..” he sighs out, the pain and shame sending waves of pleasure to his pulsating clothed cock.

“yeah? punish you how? tell your mistress what you want,” he looks at you and moans, your foot increasing its speed and pressure.

“you- you’d make me beg to cum. i- i’d beg you to- fuck. to let me touch you. let me ache to please you, to serve you mistress,” he spill out from his lips, his eyes heavy and breathing shallow from your pleasuring.

“you really are pathetic miguel,” you laugh out. you stop teasing him and stand up, watching him look up at you from his place on the floor. you slowly saunter over to him and step each foot on either side of his legs, lowering yourself down until you’re sat on his lap, directly over his erection. you grab his hair and pull his head back, hovering your lips over his own. “but you know what?” you whisper, looking at his red face and tousled hair. “i like it.”

you go in for a kiss, your lipstick transferring to miguel’s perfectly shaped lips as you kiss him sensually. you pull apart from the kiss and look at him once more, him sitting there utterly dazed and confused, this being your first kiss. you get up and walk to sit back on your bed, looking straight at him, a small wet patch staining his pants. “get out of my room.”

he doesn’t hear from you until the following evening, a text message from you reading:

philemon at 8pm sharp. take a fucking shower and wear something other than hand me downs tonight.

[jqmalikhsgib]

insta blurb five

🍒🍒🍒🍒

harrystyles

15,673,883 Likes

harrystyles hayden james styles coming soon @ynstyles

view all 68,000 comments

harrynews no fucking way!

lizzo ah! congratulations again, h and yn!!

putapricestyles im—

ynrry yes!yes!yes!

zayn so happy for you both. can’t wait until my third god child is born!

annetwist this is so exciting! can’t wait to meet him.

gemmastyles happy for you little brother, always!

ynstyles can’t wait for hayden to be here.

corbstyles

1,000,000 Likes

corbstyles mom ‘n’ dad

view all 1,953 comments

harrystyles caught us in 4k. is that what the kids are saying now?

corbstyles @harrystyles i cannot believe you said that, dude!?!?

ynstyles your dads cute, too bad he’s not single :(

corbstyles @ynstyles how am i normal?!?

preston_p dude, i still can’t believe your dad somehow managed to bag your mom. like, how?!?!

harrystyles @preston_p excuse me, sir! i am a catch!

harrynews @preston_p im—

damndaniel your parents are literally sickening!

harrystyles @damndaniel if you ever wanna step foot into the styles household again, you will never call me and my lovely wife sickening. you dweeb!

harryeds harry such a dad! i can’t—

styleharry may i ask why their aren’t any photos of you, corbin?

corbstyles @stylesharry um—idk just never really posted my face. but i swear i look like my dad one thousand percent! i didn’t even inherit my moms skin tone. im as white as they come thanks to him 🫣

harrystyles @corbstyles this is true!

corbstyles should i do a face reveal?!?

corbstyles

4,673,000 Likes

corbstyles this is half of my face. as i said, im my fathers son one thousand percent. honestly, most times im not sure if im even my moms biological child 😂 if it weren’t for my hair, which in this photo its sorta straightened, i would question it every time!

view all 26,000 comments

harrynews you do look like h from what i could tell!

harrystyles sorry buddy, but your mom is your mom! no denying that.

ynstyles ha! tell that to the twelve hours i endured giving birth to you, kid!

harryeds wait, are those harry’s pearls?!?!

corbstyles @harryeds yep! stole a few from him!

unclejessieyln kid, you should see what your great grandmother looked like! trust me you definitely have yln genes in ya! 

corbstyles

4,880,000 Likes

corbstyles full face reveal. with the curls❗️

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stylesfamily okay, now i can see your mom! you look like her too!

ynstyles my beautiful boy!

harrystyles always jealous of the curls, kid. :(

annetwist ❤️

harrynews harry styles 2.0!!!!!

tpwkhstyles omfg!!! you totally look like h!

foreverharry1d i—

ynisoverparty 🧍‍♂️🧍‍♂️

[bigdsgirl]

Love Next Door Episode 12

look i had to watch sports and do chores (sigh), but I am HERE now. and i have THOUGHTS. because lovelies, we fucking MADE IT!!!!!!

these two dweebs, just kiss again. <3 with your banana milk <3

god these two are children i am cackling, they cannot admit what is happening!!!! lmfao!!!

seung-hyo is dying and i love it

not him offering her food. DEAD. I will not survive the episode.

and not her being like hey!!! only i get food offered by my man!!

WERE THERE ANY BUGS????? lol omfg.

the way they continue to revert back to their sassy selves each time they transition or deal with wild news 😭😭😭

"I've always been with you" BYE I AM DUST

not the going through their history through small touches. BYE.

okay now smooch. please for the love of god.

NO GIRL not the hair!!! KISS AGJLDGJAFGK

omg he is so happy with them cuddling <3 this man is over the moon.

i will be the using the shot of them on a bench as a background somewhere, mark my words. or it's going to be the center of a bullet journal spread because AHHH

omg mo-eum girl, rock the interview! you got this babe!

as a hiring manager at my work, girl you killlling it

oh hi mr. seung-hyo's dad! and other guy! are we about to brawl? kinda feels like it.

goodness that man is just... so fine. silver/grey hair is gorgeous.

this man is so confused lolw hat is happening

YEAH TELL HER YOU LOVE HER! AND HE CANNOT SWAY HER!

YEAH SHE IS SO PRETTY HOW CAN YOU NOT LIKE HER???

HAHA OMFG HES GAY! GO OFF KING!!!!!!!!!!!!!

this. is. a. comedy. i. love. it.

well this changes everything and i love it <3 just two queens that are besties who work together <3

bahaha he's so embarrassed. i'm dying. the GROAN ma'am i love it

finally communicating, i love that. also she has a point! it's not her secret to tell! omg. and he's like "i married a baddie my god" and boy you are right.

omg "mom I'm an influencer now" omg she called it an influenza. I am using that now. ☠️

omg no not the blind date for seok-ryu

i have a feeling it will be the journalist and i will lose it

omfg his FACE when mom asked about the blind date. i will fucking die this is a comedy of the highest tier

cowards!!! you tell your biggest fan!!!

oh she knows. and a superfan would know! go off queen!

WE ADMITTED IT LETS GOO!!!

"I feel like my body and soul is refreshed and massaged" GIRL SPEAK ON IT!!!!!!!!!!!

not the flashbacks with everyone being like YOU ARE IN LOVE!!!!! and Mo-eum just in the background 😭🤭

Not her saying she's out of his league and that's why people never put seung-hyo and mo-eum together I LOVE HER

dear god if yeon-du is not her step daughter by the end of this show, I will be committing crimes of revenge. they are a FAMILY.

HELL YEAH MOM! Yeon-du should be her daughter!!!

ALERT! ALERT! GORGEOUS GREEN SHIRT ON HIM!!!!!!! I AM LOSING IT!!!!!!

he was built to be a dad, i luv him.

"arizona si, chicago no", what in the sam heck are these shirts, hilarious

he says look, i want to scream this from the rooftops that we are together. <3 and boy, I get it.

oh no girl. girl he is planning forever with you. oh no oh no.

oh girl, seok-ryu looks so cute in those PJs!!!

hahah oh girl you are going to regret saying what you said. he says no one can know? got it, 12 feet apart at all times.

oh girl what the fuck why you do that!!!!! that's his phone!!!!

I am glad he is standing up for himself. because i agree, her behavior is not appropriate at all!!!!!!!

movie! date! making out at the movies! lets go!

adventure day with the fam let's freaking do it!!!!!!

are we CAMPING???? YAY! I love a good camping trip!

oh they are such a good team <3 cute cute!

Mo-eum is such a cool cat, i love her

jfc they are such a family already!!! barbecue! water gun fights!

did this show just say trans rights? I am electing yes with the umbrella shot 😎

we love a trip sponsored by electric cars. fancy!

the 🤌yearning🤌

omg the water spot on the shirt hot him bothered! ope! omfg not the giving her his FLANNEL!!!!!!!

my girl looks so good for her movie date!!!! eep!! oh goodie, time for her..... to experience the "no one can know". lol he's working on architecture project, of course. omg everyone is cuddling except them!!!!!!!! WAHH NOOOOOO

what a gorgeous sunset for these gorgeous people. ugh she is the cutest lil kiddo. omg. wait. wait. is it time??? are we gonna.... ya know, talk about it??

WAIT CAT I SAW A CAT!!!!!

god she loves this girl so much, how can you not want her as her step mom?????

holy shit. holy. shit. she said it. SHE SAID IT.

i am stunned. what a beautiful confession. MO-EUM MY GIRL.

yeah let's cancel the agreement!!!! it wasn't a mistake!!!

NEVER???????????? SIR????? 😔

No no no no please, you three deserve happiness and its with each other! please!

god damn it. Now she's gonna take the job in antartica so he doesn't feel bad.

HAHAH the hand reaching. girl just GRAB IT!

LOL the "you go in first"

oh no not the doc visit.

OH THANK GOD ITS NOT ALZHEIMERS! YESS!!!!!!! GOD BLESS!!!!

Due to stress and anxiety??? well I hope that is the case.... I am not a fan of this. hmm hmm hmm.

LOL HES SO HAPPY!!! My lil baby <3 he's such a drama queen.

like father like son :)

oh girl. oh girl. I laugh because you did this to yourself. you asked him not to bring it up!

ope a family dinner oh my goodness. my girl Tae-hui stirring the pot like the queen she is

omg seung-hyo is so nervous and she is SO JEALOUS

these two are children omfg, just communicate

PARENTS OVERNIGHT TRIP????? SO THEY WILL HAVE THE HOUSE TO THEMSELVES???? LETS FREAKING! GO!

love the fanny back good sir

lol them arguing and seok-ryu dying, i feel the same

OH BROTHER IS LEAVING TOO????

oh we about to fuck. shit. up! let's go!!!!!!!!!

the parents being so silly and jealous of each other

oh he GOT THE LENS -- that lens is way too big but i love the enthusiasm lmfao - he STUDIED

GIRL TIME! YAY!

boy call her she might kill you -- i hate to say it

omfg! bestie boy time too!! except these boys need to stop being awkward <3

God bless Mo-eum, she is the truly best friend to both Seok-ryu and Seung-hyo <3

Mo-eum baby you deserve the world <3 i hope he grovels so hard when he realizes how much he mucked up

god this show just nails friendships at all stages, acquaintances, work friends, new friends, new neighbors, long term besties as youth, young adults, later in life. just ALL OF IT!

NOT Tae-hui giving him WEDDING CUPS FOR THE TWO OF THEM??????? A QUEEEEEEEN.

omg he mad a pet house??? for the kitty?? the she saved??? that she is allergic to??? omfg. i am a mess. the baby house he made them, and the upgrade now!!!

WAIT THEY ARE THE BABIES OF THEM??? AHH!!!

SHE WAS HIS FIRST CLIENT!!!! HE MADE IT! FOR HER!!!! WAHHH

date night at the crib! screaming!

he is so happy she was jealous <3 h

he couldnt focus at work??? omfg girl you are wrecking him

"comic books in my room" ooooooo is that what we are calling it now??? heh!!!!

first time in here as a your BOYFRIENNND

he's admitting he went for HER! not the book!

omg he's admitting how nervous he was!!!!!!!

BOY IS IN PANIC MODE FROM DAY ONE!!!!!!!!! WAH!

YAY COMMUNICATION!!!!!!

she said, bad thoughts are fine 🤭 and approved bad deeds? boy we are in it NOW! the DOOR IS SHUT! EEK! THE LIGHT IS OFF? OH HELL YEAH! LFG!

[badtzbot]

sigh. go on then. drake.

i knew you cared about me....

How I feel about this character

my emotions about him are generally divided into 5 categories:

lust - not gonna get into it too much because this is tumblr not twt but uhhhh. he's 7 foot 8 inches. he's a dinosaur zoan.... he has a hybrid form. he has really good tits thighs and ass. all i'm saying is that i need him carnally

sobbing emojis - HIS FUCKING BACKSTORY OMFG. GODS. literally IM DEAD. i hope diez barrels is put through hell two billion times. i have extended headcanons about his time as an abused kid. i'm so so happy he was rescued. i can't believe he was nineteen there he was so small. im so glad that he's grown up now and (probably at least somewhat) recovered. i need the barrels pirates to be executed.

need to coddle him - i need to make him take a week off where he does nothing but experience joy. i want him to get over his trauma. i'm booking him a therapy session. im spooning him and washing his hair until he cries because he's never felt intimacy like that. i need him to be happy

need to bully him - his name is so stupid. "x drake" but it's pronounced "diez drake." he's a huge nerd about reptiles and ASTROPHYSICS. he's so large and so pathetic. he's a huge dweeb. he blushes and faints easily. he's weak to boobs. he's like if a mommas boy didnt have a momma. sengoku adopted him and he defected from the main marine force. he went undercover as a pirate and trafalgar clocked him in 0.2 secs as a narc. his pirate outfit is all leather which is both very distracting to me and very difficult to move in. he dual wields weapons that aren't normally dual wielded. his hair is the stupidest thing i've ever seen. he's a ginger. what is up with that weird ass pirate mask. his ship is literally just a painted over marine ship. i can't believe this guy he's such a dweeb

overwhelming love - i love him so much he's sweetie cutie of all time. i love him. he's 7'8. he's a dinosaur man. he faints when he sees boobs. i have only one figure and it's of him. he has such a strong moral compass. he's head of sword. he believes in real justice. he loves chicken and he hates eggs. he has two different birthdays. in the real world he would be a zookeeper. i LOVE HIM SO MUCH

he is my most specialest guy of all time.

All the people I ship romantically with this character

smoker, mostly. koby a little

My non-romantic OTP for this character

his relationship with the rest of SWORD in general is so cute. also putting drake and paulie in a room together has a lot of comedic potential because why are they Like That.

My unpopular opinion about this character

idk what the popular opinions about him are. that hes ugly? i agree tho he is a little bit ugly. but i still love him. ummmmm idk. the unpopular opinion is that i like him at all

oh also not a fan of drake and law? idk i just don't think law would fuck marines. except for One of them

also i don't think he's a daddy dom. he's my pathetic little princess

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon.

can i just get more of him in general. can we leave one piece and go to "life of diez drake" instead. that would be really good for me

[restlesschilled]

Tmag 6 thoughts

Note: Im a backer so this was done on Tuesday the 13th and set to post on Thursday the 15

Credits

omg thats the sweetest thing im gonna cry

Pre "statemen

[insert caffine patch gag from meet the robbinsons]

as some one who worked overnights YES SAM GET THE BLACK OUT CURTAINS

"the sun is the enemy" Alice dark avatar confirmed? /hj

new guy??

turn over rate is also high in general for overnight jobs because its hell

also i know this is overnight in the script because spooky and also jonny and alex worked a job like this and thats hoe they met but WHY IN GODS NAME WOULD A JOB LIKE THIS BE OVERNIGHT?(fear and paranoia obviously)

WHY WAS ALEX AND JONNY'S REAL LIFE JOB OVERNIGHT?

can someone get Sam some vitamin D as well hes got melanin hes gonna absorb it slower

sleepy man

"Statement"

MICHAEL CODED

VERY MICHAEL CODED

NEW SPIRAL AVATAR?

SCREAMING CRYING THROWING UP

(fun fact that's Giaus Octavius from Cry Havic!)

also looked at the cast (dont do it till you finish and HOLY FUCKING SHIT)

his name iss needles guys

Freaking out

porcupine man

pinhead

post statement

lol he was enjoying it

headcanon sam loves r/nosleep

also we've been called out

THIS IS WHY I WAS FREAKING OUT AT THE CAST LIST

HI CELIA

HI LOWRI

HERE SHE IS EVERYONE MY BIGGEST FUCKING QUESTION

also her last name is after Alex and Hannahs Dog which i love

"JUST ENSURE YOU EAT THEM ONSITE" LOL

CELIA WHAT A MOOD

LOWRI MY BELOVED

super weird interview

"and im both, the system work!"

love celia cant trust her but love her

"four weirdos in a basement reading scary stories" AFHGHLGSDALGELKRG

"AND I THOUGHT I HID IT BEHIND THE BUBBLY DEMEANOR" OMFG

HI IF YOU DONT REMBER CELIA FROM TMA GO BACK AND LISTEN TO MAG100 AND THEN MAG190 AND MAG194

freaking out

freaking the fuck out

GWEN REALLY JUST SAID DONT GET ATTACHED

shes already been to the break room?

hes got a crush on her

ALICE WHAT

“Would you like tea Celia? Coffee perchance? My heart carved from my chest and arranged on a little doily? Please, Celia, cut out my tongue so I can always be there to lick your stamps for you!”

"IF YOU KNEW ANYTHING ABOUT STAMPS" SAM YOU ABSOLUTE DWEEB.

the date on the statement is 3 days before the date it was accessed by Sam

CAT1RB4824-09022024-12022024

omfg

[siflshonen]

sifl hi! i can't believe how much you ve embraced your inner deku (I'm happy for u!! id personally deem this Character Development) that back and forth with this blue boy dash character tho (?????????) im pissing myself laughing pls omfg i lit read the stuff in izuku is dub voice you're SO GOOd xhdjosiwu

I’M NOTHING LIKE THAT GREEN-HAIRED DWEEB. YOU ARE DELUSIONAL. I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT.

[lustrumlane]

it was a LARPer all along | maya | re: ephemerael, mercury

When the rounded end of Ephemerael's ear is revealed to the court, from one end, a loud, howling laughter bursts out. Maya is cackling to herself, mouth wide in a toothy grin like a hyena. It's almost too much even for her -- doubled over in her amusement, she drops her pen onto the ground and has to scramble to pick it back up, unable to stop the entertained tears from forming at the corners of her eyes, face muscles strained. "OMFG! No, seriously! OMFG! I actually can't-- I literally cannot right now!" The reporter snickers. "My stomach hurts! BAHAHA! You're-- oh my god, Ephie, you're killing me. That's-- that's-- it's so pathetic!"

She's able to calm herself to a halt after a few moments, but it doesn't wipe the smug, judgemental smile off her face. "You pretended? This whole time, you were seriously pretending to be a fucking elf? What kind of a grade-A loser are you? Literally, that's so pathetic! You couldn't stand to be normal for just a second around us, so much so that you had to literally LARP! God, it's so funny I can't even stand it. You did fake little plaything magic, for christ's sake. It's hilarious! I fucking knew there was at least one nerdy-ass LARPer in this group! I knew it!

"You know, this kind of thing is exactly what I mean -- exactly what I mean when I say everyone has secrets. There isn't a single person on the planet, or in the universe or whatever, that can stand to be uneqivocally truthful and themselves. No one wants to do that. But, Ephie, there are literally better ways to go about doing it... Ones that don't involve your fucking--" She snorts, and doesn't even try to hold it back. "--elfsona. Oh my god, is Ephemerael even your real name? Is that just the name of your Dungeons & Dragons character? You have to tell us. It's not like you have anything else to lose."

When Matt speaks, she looks in his direction -- and is that a hint of... respect in her eyes? Just a little bit, but it's certainly there. The amused smile on her face only grows.

"Wait, dweeb, you faked the currency? No, shut up! Shut up right now! That's actually fucking hilarious! OMFG!"

[elsecrytt]

omfg i LOVE your demon culture headcanons, they're so fun and really make obey me so much more interesting than it already is. one hc ive always had of the devildom folk and culture is that in their courting rituals it's common to bring their mate fresh prey as a show of strength. imagine one of the brothers coming up to mc and straight up dropping the mangled body of a lesser demon at their feet and mc is just HORRIFIED but the brothers are like "what? im showing u i care and that im strong"

Adjkflshfgk oh no oH NO *OH NO* I’m so sorry but unfortunately this is exactly the kind of thing that awakens something inside of me so.

I'm gonna be real with you. Sure MC is horrified and all bc like, damn, dead body, but also... like... IDK I JUST THINK. THE IDEA'S PRETTY HOT.

I just find it narratively compelling and erotic and sexy if a character is wiling to kill for me. And you know Mammon would be like. A super cute excited puppy with a dead animal,, showing off his kill to his owner you hehe

So you’re walking around town with Mammon. All’s well in the Devildom. Maybe you stride into a cafe after a bit of a shopping spree (he says he’ll treat you, he really wanted to try the parfait here, you see - coincidentally, your date had been about to end…) and you’re sitting at your table, waiting for your order.

As you watch the nearby couples (you already know Mammon’s latest moneymaking scheme idea is stupid and you’re going to tell him no, but it would make him feel better if you didn’t shut him down right away), you come across one example in particular that looks… not so good.

Two incubi who’d come in together were starting to fight. One of them looks like he’s got tears in his eyes - you see him gesture to his phone.

You can’t hear the exact words but you can imagine already what they are by the flush of embarrassment on the other one’s face and the guilty looks, how he keeps glancing away and appears at a loss to explain himself.

Was he…?

“You cheating whore! I should have known - how could I be this stupid - " His voice starts to crack and you start to really feel bad for him, other people are watching now, "You’d just texted me last night and you were with him - ”

OOF. Big oof.

Mammon must have seen how sorry you felt for the guy written all over your face, because he caught on to where your attention was right away and whined at once.

“Heya!! I’m talking ta ya here, yer really gonna pay attention ta those dweebs over there over the Great Mammon?”

You roll your eyes (they’re shouting now). “Why don’t you watch, too? Something like this would never happen with us, it’s interesting.”

It’s like he’s got dog ears that perk right up, his attention immediately captured as you watch him blush and try to fight the urge to smile (he never won).

And when his gaze flicks over to the couple in question, a slap has gone out... but it's from the accused cheater, to his partner.

"Well maybe if you weren't absolute shit in bed, I wouldn't have to get it elsewhere!"

You actually wince at that. In public? Seriously? After he cheated...

"The audacity," You mutter, and Mammon nods.

"Yeah, you can't even compare a couple like that to us." His tone is unmissable, smug, a feeling he didn't often get to show.

(He's still blushing, but it's more of a smirk now, and if anyone can look cute while smirking it's your Mammon)

In the corner of your eye you watch Mammon's eyes gleam in the light as he gazes over the guilty party, and you remember that Lucifer is his favorite brother.

Guess they have something in common after all, hmm?

But you don't point it out, instead saying, "At least the dude is showing his true colors so the other guy dumps his worthless ass. It'd be worse if they got back together."

"Oh yeah?" He cocks his head at you.

"Well, imagine the dude apologized. Then that poor guy might take him back..."

"So what if he did, though? I mean, ya said yerself, the dude's trash. If he wants to take him back, then whatever."

You can't believe you're having this conversation. "Well, different people have different opinions. But I'd never take back a cheater. It's demeaning."

"Course you wouldn't! Ya have me, after all." He preens, and you want to smile at him again because he's just so cute.

"But what's this got to do with them?" He's genuinely confused, too, which makes you want to roll your eyes.

"It's just sad to think about someone getting less than they deserve, Mammon."

When this is met with yet more indifference, you switch up the tactics, "Look, scum belongs in the trash, doesn't it? I wouldn't take someone like that and I wouldn't expect anyone else to."

You're pretty sure Mammon would n e v e r but you give him a suspicious look anyways.

"Yeah. Yeah, you're right!" There's your boy, changing gears on the fly, "You wouldn't take somebody like that. They don't deserve anything!"

He's beaming, so you're sure you haven't gotten your point across. But you always did love that smile.

Plus he's holding out the spoon bashfully, hoping to feed you a really delicious looking scoop of his parfait that came during the conversation.

When you lean forward and close your mouth over the spoon he looks like he's about to explode from happiness... it he doesn't overheat from that massive flush, first.

Augh. He is just. Too cute.

[Warning: Listen. You read the ask at the beginning. You know what it said. GRAPHIC description of an injury/dead body ahead. They’re demons. It’s fucked up. You have been warned.

Also. It's kinda romance. Like it's kinda horror but. He's Mammon. He's your good boy. He's very sweet about it even if it's kinda horrifying. Also his tits are out in demon form, it would distract anyone - ]

>Mammon: Heya! C'mon over to my room, I gotcha somethin'

You get the text. And of course, you came at once.

Mammon is squatting on his heels, arms on his knees and his hand resting on his chin while he stares at his DDD (it looks like his messages app).

His clothes are as stylish as ever, spic and span, his bright white head of hair eye-catching as always until you meet his eyes, which light up even brighter.

You notice this especially because just in front of him, not two feet away, in a pool of blood, is a corpse.

The urge to hurl is instantaneous - even looking at it makes you wince and tear your eyes away, but you have to see - and a terrible recognition strikes you.

From - from the cafe? Oh god. Oh god. You remember him - he was standing up and moving, he was speaking, you'd heard him talk earlier today and he's - is he -

“We need to call - ”

Mammon cuts you off, for once. "Hey! I know I ain't the best at magic but even I can take care of a body."

Your heart thuds in your chest. There's a gaping hole in the center of his - it's? - chest. The ribs curve outwards as if something in his chest exploded, the bones exposed with tiny bits of flesh and redness clinging to them in stringy, thin webs.

And then your eyes follow down to its exposed crotch, where there's nothing but a bloody stump - if it could even be called that. Fuck, you can see the -

You have to look away again, back, over into Mammon's eyes.

"A body? Mammon, this is a lot more than just - just a fucking body!!"

He perks up at that, "Ya better believe it is! I wouldn'ta done this for anyone else! Look at him - he got what he deserved. Just like you said!"

Mammon smiles up at you, his eyes flickering, and -

And he looks just as sweet as he did offering you a parfait, just as bashful and unable to hide his delight. A trace of insecurity, as if you're not sure he'll accept his affections, when he's offering you a corpse.

"Mammon..." You trail off, not sure how to say it - just in that tone he knows to think twice about.

You watch him stand, eyes down and bashful like a chastened dog, and a dark aura engulfs his figure - in an instant.

And now you know where all the blood is. his chest is splattered with it; it's a good think his outfit is mostly leather because it's all over him. His boots are all red.

Mammon has never scared you before. And now...

...he still doesn't, because he's giving you puppy dog eyes.

"I gave him just what he deserved, and brought him here for you to see!" He tells you eagerly, fixing his eyes on yours.

Mammon kicks over the body, closer to your feet; its arm rolls out limply as it sags there, like a ragdoll made of flesh.

"I'm the second strongest of all my brothers! The Great Mammon! Not just anybody would do this for ya, and almost nobody could do it as fast!"

Every sentence feels like a new swerve. You look away from his eyes, down -

"It's all for you, ya know? Because... well... I like ya so much..."

- down - there's barely any of the white markings visible on his chest, splattered with redness that trails down in rivulets as you step forward to look at it -

"A-and ya said yourself! He deserved to be punished! So I... y'know. Did what ya wanted... I did your will, master..."

His voice lingers in your ears, high but keening, somehow, that longing you know buried deep inside always calling out -

the rise and fall of his chest, so perfectly defined even with red all over it -

"For you..." Mammons says your name and your heart jumps, "I brought him here for you, at your feet, on the ground, dead beneath you where he belongs..."

You stumble over it, the heavy mound of bone and muscle in the vague shape of a body, tumbling over at your touch, pallid from the loss of blood.

The skin is waxy, and before the massive gash in its chest can make itself known you draw your eyes back, back towards the magnetic pull of Mammon's plaintive words -

His eyes draw you in, in an instant, as you seem to step forward, right into his arms... even as he falls to his knees.

Mammon's face is beatific, adoring.

"Let me show ya... how much I can do for ya, all that I wanna do for ya, I can make ya feel so good.."

You lick your lips. The demon from earlier might be dead... but your heart is pounding - desperately, and something much lower along with it.

[pallas-cat]

stan cass or die

[feathersandstripes]

Not to sound like a dweeb asexual but I genuinely don’t understand why ppl like kissing??? Like what do y’all even do??? Fuckin suck face and breathe into each other’s mouths like EW what if you cough omfg I can’t 😂 I literally will never have a normal relationship bc if anyone tries to breathe on my fucking face I’ll bite them I’m fuckin serious rn

[gothtones]

🧸 for sal and leon, 👏 for frankie and steve >:) - blondie of girlghostface fame

!!!!!! AAAA

🧸 - something you'd see in the window of a shop and think "i have to buy that for them"

for sal literally anything emo. tripp pants. chokers. cute plaid skirts. ripped jeans. any t-shirt with a metal band….. omfg or anything for his guitar …. Or any jewelry…. i’d buy him the world is what im saying

for leon… i would def embarrass him & get him bath stuff & skincare stuff? idk why that’s the first thing that came into my head. i want that pretty boy to do face masks & i wanna make him use bath bombs. he would be like “haha what? 😅” but he would love it deep down.

👏 - something they lovingly make fun of you for

im genuinely not even kidding frank would make fun of me for having no tits. like point blank period he would make fun of the fact that im flat chested every fucking chance he gets. and it’s “loving” but he’s also a dick LMFAOOOOOO im in love w him

steve would probably make fun of me for being goth like straight up. he’s so preppy that he’s probably making all kinds of comments about how we look together/how i look in general LMFAO and it’s not mean it’s just bc he’s like “wow this is SO different!!!!” like a dweeb

[beidousbunny]

ITS A TERM OF ENDEARMENT??? omfg no wonder all those mfs want piggy back rides 🙄 man being tall is actually really easy lmfao like idk if uve seen the movie tall girl but the main character is literally 6 ft and gets treated like the plague??? like no honey i do not get asked whats the weather up like here everyday please -👽

hey giant 😡 what’s the weather like up there you dweeb 🤬

LIKE??? THAT IS THE MOST CHEESIEST LEAST THREATENING THING IVE EVER HEARD??

i enjoy being short 🤨 and i enjoy tall people 🤨 girl im telling you now if i knew you id be begging for piggy back rides every five seconds too 🤩 im so clingy with my taller friends cause they make me feel safe 🤲

[funfactory-moved]

fe3h anon again but damnnnn i applaud your gameplay👀 this is gonna sound even More like mental illness but i've only played blue lions and the ashen wolves routes so far skdmksdmsk i'm a fire emblem dweeb + completionist so i've focused on recruiting every character and maximizing their levels/stats/unlocking classes and getting all available support convos. honestly i think i just have an unhealthy attachment to the characters that i've Raised on My Back and don't want to start over 😩 i do plan on playing dimitri's route next tho lol i love this series so much i Will not shut up about it if prompted so i lovelovelove that you are enjoying this game so much too!!

omfg holy shit??? tht takes so much dedication i’m like. actually rly impressed 😵‍💫 i dnt even know how u have the time to get ppl all the way leveled up like i’ve tried every single time nd at the most i get someone to maybe 59 or 60 😭😭 so how are u doing that?? do u prioritize exploration days or do u mostly do battle days?? i’ve always kinda struggled w/ juggling which i wanna do bc i know i need 2 level up my dudes but also.. sharing meals is fun :((

what’s difficulty level have u been doing??

[azure-steel]

What brought Nemain to this blog? : So many things! 1.) Your writing is eloquent, and does his character justic. For a character like Cloud, who for the most part isnt much of a speaker, descriptive and often times intercontemplative writing helps him to feel real, consistent -even with his quirks- especially when Canon divergence is present. You do this so well. 2.) Dedication. Because of the last reason, it was instantly clear that you are a longtime fan. And for FF7 [which has been a life long obsession of mine heh] Cannon and divergent RPs, I personally prefer people who have some background and understanding. I guess I would have to say I lean toward passionate fans when looking for co-writers. Simply because I have been writing as Seph for 12ish years, and he is my most influential muse in/out of rp... SO A CLOUD IS VERY IMPORTANT TO HAVE 3.) Your beautiful personality, honestly, seeing you buzz around other blogs before I followed you.... was a treat. And I was very shyly ogling your writing from afar because i was a bit intimidated by your talent, but it was you (ooc post-wise) that made me realize we just might click as muns and all would be swell. <3

what about my portrayal attracted you to my blog? if you would like to be more specific – what made you stay?

Nemain!! 

Nemain, omfg I have no idea where I’m supposed to start with this... you made me cry, AGAIN ;A;

I’ll respond to this via the list, like you have: 1) Cloud is a man of very few words, and those he does speak are rarely anything positive in a sense. I will admit that I’ve taken some artistic liberties with how I deliver my portrayal considering his general demeanour and how he interacts with the world and the people around him. So I suppose that can make my version of Strifey a little canon divergent in that sense. But yes, a lot of my rp’s usually centre around his thought processes and his actions as opposed to him speaking given that very fact that, well... he ain’t much of a talker, but honestly that actually works so well for me and the style I use for roleplay. My favourite part of the development of a thread is establishing how muse is feeling, building the world around them and such, So Cloud, I feel sorta suits me that way. It makes me so SO happy that you enjoy my writing though, because in actual fact I found Cloud quite difficult to adapt into a muse, which I will explain further in the next bit 

2) Hahaha, yes, I am a long long loooooooong time fan of FFVII. It is my favourite game of the franchise even though it wasn’t the first that I played, it’s the one that really stuck with me. I’ve been madly in love with Cloud since he was made of blocks, bless him~ That being said however, I am actually relatively new to the FF RPC, regardless that I first played Final Fantasy VII about 20 years ago (showing my age here a lil bit lol! Just so you know, I’m OLDER THAN DIRT) Playing the remake is what prompted me into making Cloud into a muse, although I wasn’t even half way through the remake when I created the blog. And, I admit, I floundered... A LOT initially, because I’d forgotten a lot of the lore from the OG, hadn’t seen Advent Children in YEARS and hadn’t even finished the latest version of the game. So I was here just making shit up hoping against hope that it would just come back to me. A lot of my first days here were just me screaming I DON’T KNOW WHAT I’M DOING xD I ended up doing research for rp’s, looking up locations, character profiles and such just to remind myself of things and try and make myself fit into the RPC that already seemed so established already. I felt like a bit of an outsider for a while, but I kept trying and eventually Cloud became less of a stranger to me and he started to develop almost independently with every thread I worked on. Of course the longer I hung on to my dwindling hope that I could write Cloud well, the more I started to remember and I started to be able to relate more to my muse and to others. I know that it took us a while to really interact, and that first interaction was an OOC instance, but I’m so glad we left it that long because of the reasons stated above, lol. 

3) This is possibly the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me. You know I adore you right...? The fact that you were eyeing up MY writing fills me with so much joy, because, honey, the way you put Sephiroth into words is, in short, absolutely extraordinary. There’s no words I can use to describe how your writing makes me feel. I physically gasp and weep at your replies to Cloud, like you don’t even know. So I’ve no idea why you felt intimidated by my writing ability when you are just so much more superior in every way shape and form. And I’m not saying that as a disservice to myself. You really are so freaking talented, just... out of this world man. So good in fact that I’ve actually shown RL friends of mine your writing and they were just as blown away as I am each and every time I’m gifted with your amazing talents. And yeah, hahaha, we get on pretty well right? You should probably know that I am a massive dweeb IRL (ask @primalvessel who can defo verify this as fact) and I’m always so happy to see you in my IM’s. But you know this already~ <3

But I thank you, so so much for this, from the very bottom of my heart. You’ve no idea how happy you’ve made me today. I adore you, your writing, your muse. Just... all of it~

[miserelysia]

“I Watched the Artemis Fowl Movie and It Made Me Very Upset” Liveblog!

So I decided I had to subject myself to this movie despite being Extremely Aware that it’s a massive pile of firey garbage. It was about as painful as expected, so I liveblogged to keep my sanity. Here’s basically what happened in my head while I was watching:

Josh Diggums: I feel so bad for Josh Gad's voice because it's painfully obvious they just didn't want Olaf showing up so they forced him into some terrible Bale-Batman voice that keeps cracking

why is this movie taking itself so seriously

Book Artemis: eternally unathletic dweeb

Movie Artemis: SURFING MASTER

the fuck, Branagh

THIS VOICE IS SO DAMN BAD, JOSH PLEASE STOP TALKING

okay Artemis is appropriately a little shit for EXACTLY ONE SCENE

FUCK OFF WITH FRIDGING THE MOM, BRANAGH

"ur mom's dead and ur dad's gone so ur a little shit" WHAT A GREAT COUNSELOR

fuck's sake

Book Artemis: immediately falls off whatever this hover thing is

COLIN FARRELL. SEXY MAN.

I ALMOST FORGIVE THEM FOR BRINGING HIM BACK EARLY

AND..... KNOWING ABOUT MAGIC

SDJFKSDF

WHATEVER

I WAS PREPARED FOR THIS

this voice is still terrible, Josh. I'm sorry

this kid is a pretty good actor

"all i really want is to believe in you" that was actually well-delivered

"Arty"

<sobbing>

OKAY IT'S NOT ACCORDING TO THE BOOK BUT FUCK ME THEIR RELATIONSHIP IS WELL DONE

i desperately need Butler to show up soon tho

I SPOKE TOO SOON

"DOMOVOI" ??!!?? YOU FUCKS

why

are his eyes

fucking ELECTRIC BLUE

HIS LITERAL FUKDFSUCING NAME IN THE BOOKS IS 'BUTLER' IT'S PART OF BEING AN INSANELY GOOD SECRET AGENT GUARDIAN HE'S NOT AN ACTUFL FUCKING BUTLER AND LITERALLY NO ONE EVER CALLS HIM "THE BUTLER" BUT HIS NAME IS BUTLER BECAUSE HIS REAL NAME IS SECRET HE'S FUCKING SECURITY FUCKING DID YOU READ THIS FUCKING BOOK SERIES AT ALL BRANAGH OR DID YOU JUSTDSJFKLDSHFSD:LFSEFAGH

i'm sorry

Butler is my absolute favorite character of the entire damn series and they fucking

can't even get OOOONNNNNEEEEEEEEE CHARACTER CORRECT

SCREAMS

did they think calling him "Butler" would be weird because they cast a black guy?????

AGAIN WHY WITH THE FUCKING ELECTRIC BLUE CONTACTS THEY'RE SO OBVIOUSLY FAKE IT LOOKS SO BAD. IF YOU MAKE THE DECISION TO CAST AN AFRICAN AMERICAN MAN JUST FUCKING OWN THAT HE HAS DARK EYES DON'T DO THIS

THE "OWL STAR"???? REALLY???? WHY NOT FOWL STAR

WHY

NOT

IT'S JUST SUCH AN ARBITRARY DUMBASS CHANGE IT MAKES NO SENSE

PLEASE DID I JUST MISUNDERSTAND THE REPORTER MAN

DID THE CAPTIONS JUST MISUNDERSTAND HIM?????

NOPE IT'S LITERALLY THE  O W L  S T A R

fuck off

i'm sorry

stuff like that just bothers me a lot

it makes ABSOLUTELY no sense to change it

Fowl Star made sense bECAUSE IT'S OWNED BY ARTEMIS FOWL

artemis has a lot more emotions than i remember him having

i will not forgive them for destroying the Butler/Artemis relationship in favor of a Dad they fucking fridge in the first half hour of the movie

oh boy nursery rhymes as codes

GROUNDBREAKING

i think the fairies would have something to say about you hiding their own shit from them, MISTER SENIOR

it's still a bad voice, Josh, I'm so sorry

okay Haven is pretty nice

"Haven" not "Haven City"

pretty sure

holly being a 13 year old girl is disconcerting

that was mentioned in a review

they're supposed to be Child-Sized not ACTUAL CHILDREN

also "small person = higher pitched voice" is such a stupid trope please stop

i like the Being diversity around the city

like lots of different types of humanoids

josh desperately wants to do the Olaf voice

i'm so sorry Josh

okay aside from the shit voice Diggums is pretty good

lol Cudgeon's already in jail

i

okay then

i know this is Opal Koboi

meh

i hate her in the books so they can fuck her up all they want

judi dench is batman too i guess

how many cigs you smoke judi root

OH BOY HOLLY HAS MISSING DADDY ISSUES TOO

fucking shit

"you're 84" and you look like a fUCKING THIRTEEN YEAR OLD

such bad choices

every time they say "Domovoi" i--

HISDFHSDHFH

JULIET

SHE'S

HIS

FUCKING

NIECE?????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!??????????

SDFJLS:DKF FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKK YYYYYYYOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

FUCK YOU

FUCK

FUCK

FUCK YOU KENNETH BRANAGH

NO

NO

NO

NO

SHE'S

HIS

FUCKING

SISTER

HIS BABY SISTER HE LOVES AND CARES FOR EVEN MORE THAN ARTEMIS AND THAT'S A COMPLETELY DIFFERENT RELATIONSHIP THAN UNCLE AND NIECE

HOW COULD YOU LITERALLY DESTROY EVERYTHING ABOUT BUTLER AND STILL SLEEP AT NIGHT

<vomits into the sun>

eoin colfer i hope you made so much money off of this SHITSTACK

(genuinely tho that's literally the only consolation; now he can write more Good Books)

Juliet is cute but i know about all she does is make sandwiches

so fuck this

judi dench is Good

foaly is Okay

why's he wearing clothes tho

the chutes are a lot more... open than expected

BEECHWOOD SHORT THE TRAITOR

FUCK OFF

WHY IS HOLLY’S CHARACTER DEFINED BY HER FUCKING FATHER

THIS IS SO MUCH WORSE AN OUTCOME THAN I EVEN EXPECTED GIVEN THEY EVISCERATED HER CHARACTER'S DRIVE BY MAKING THE L.E.P. ALREADY HAVE FEMALE OFFICERS AND COMMANDERS

"get out cudgeon before i throw you out" okay they got Root completely right at least

aside from making him a her

but that's okay

because it's Judi Dench

awwwww happy flying scene bUT HOLLY YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE SHIELDED GOt DAMN

“any update?” "yes. i'm freezing" amazing, Butler

i mean dOmOvOi

HOLLY YOU'RE STILL NOT SHIELDED

CGI isn't too bad in this but honestly that's not impressive anymore

awwwww cute wedding scene

troll is about as ugly as possible

LOL JUST FUCKING THROW TIME FREEZE UP LIKE IT'S NOTHING

OKAY

LOL HOLLY GO DEAL WITH THE TROLL DON'T FOCUS ON ONE SMALL CHILD

THAT'S NOT HOW A TIME FREEZE WORKS

I

i mean it's COOL

i love the little Men in Green zipping around

but it doesn't make ANY sense

LOL SO WHY DO THE PEOPLE THINK THE PLACE IS TRASHED

lol gently floating troll

Hollyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

Judi Root continues to be amazing

ok tbf Opal Koboi would be after the Aculos if it existed

OP MacGuffin plots are so tired tho like really Branagh

i love the wings on her suit

ARTEMIS WHEN DID YOU GET TO THE TREE

holly ur a bad 84-year-old officer

LOL CUDGEON IS RIGHT ON

AND JUDI ROOT CONTINUES TO BE

"Not Happy!" lol wat

who wrote that bit of dialogue and said "yes this a perfectly good thing to have her say when she wakes up in a cage"

"mesmerism"

boy i love these exposition dump convos between Mr. Sr. and Arty

LOL "most human beings are afraid of gluten, how do you think they'd handle goblins" is a great line

out of touch, but still funny

...why does the time freeze take forever to generate now when you did it in TWO SECONDS BEFORE

calm down holly damn

foaly's very pretty

sO DID THEY FREEZE THE *ENTIRE WORLD*????????

I THOUGHT THE POINT WAS TO FREEZE THINGS INSIDE SO YOU HAVE MOONLIGHT LONGER

AND

AND

whatever

i love this fucking ARMY coming out of literally everywhere

"TOP OF THE MORNIN'" OH MY FUCKING GOODNESS

whole movie is worth it

for that line

i love that they're entirely in green

and no one ever Shields

ever

they mentioned Shields once but NO ONE IS SHIELDED

BUTLER WOULD NEVER LET ARTEMIS INTO A FIGHT

SCREAMS

"TAKE THE SHOT"

WHY IS THE TIME FREEZE SO EASILY DESTABILIZED

FOALY

ARE YOU TELLING ME NO ONE HAS EVER SHOT YOUR FUCKING ENORMOUS DEVICE

omg no U GAVE OPAL KOBOI LEGITIMATE REASONS FOR DOING WHAT SHE'S DOING

YOU GAVE HER A SAD FRUSTRATING BACKSTORY

SHE'S SUPPOSED TO BE AN ARROGANT SELF-SERVING BITCH AND NOTHING ELSE

TWENTY SEVEN MINUTES??????

hOW DID ARTEMIS KNOW ABOUT MULCH DIGGUMS SPECIFICALLY

lol that is 100% a completely inhumane prison what the fuck, fairies

why does Holly have human music

well i'm glad we didn't have to watch mulch almost eat a dude's head

"My father was kidnapped."

"My father is dead."

"Can I trust you?"

"You'll have to."

BUT WHY

WHAT IS THIS DIALOGUE

WHAT IS THIS CHARACTER PROGRESSION

THERE's NO REASON TO TRUST HER

OR TO NEED TO TRUST HER

THIS IS COMPLETELY UNEARNED AND STUPID

glad holly's entire character REVOLVES AROUND A MAN NOW, BRANAGH

LOL THEY JUST DIDN'T GIVE ROOT A FIRST NAME???

JUDI ROOT CONFIRMED

"listen to us, grunting at each other like a pair of hippos with a throat infection" LMAO

i hope that was Josh Gad improv

LOL HE JUST FUCKING DESTROYS EVERYTHING IN HIS WAY WHILE TUNNELING

YOU DIDN'T EVEN REALLY TUNNEL IN, MULCH

HOW DID YOU COME OUT OF A PAINTING

DO THEY HAVE PAINTINGS IN A BASEMENT???

WHAT HAPPENED TO THE SHEETROCK OR WHATEVER

IT WOULD HAVE BEEN SO EASY TO JUST

UGH

FOLLOW THE BOOK

COME ON

MULCH YOU ARE THE WORST BURGLAR

"what would your parents be" THEY'D BE CENTAURS MULCH

is... is Mulch on the second floor

HE TUNNELED THROUGH THE WALL ONTO THE SECOND FLOOR

artemis... just.. lets holly out

ok cool

LOL HIS NOSE HAIRS GROW AND MOVE LIKE TENTACLES

stupid and... funny? i guess

at least Cudgeon is the piece of shit he is in the book lol

oh boy troll time

BUTER WOULD NEVER LET MULCH DIGGUMS PICKPOCKET HIM

"jam all magic" OMFG THAT'S NOT POSSIBLE

BUTLER WOULD NEVER LET ARTEMIS FACE DOWN A FUCKING TROLL

LOL THEY JUST FIRE THE TROLL LIKE A BULLET

A TROLL-ET

DOMOVOI YOU ARE COMPLETELY USELESS WHAT THE FUCK

i wonder if kids even like this movie

omg butler couldn't even jump

i

i don't understand

he literally DOESN'T HELP AT ALL

IT'S HIS WHOLE THING

IS BEING ABLE TO KICK ASS

FUCKING COME ON BRANAGH

yeah fuck you branagh

are... are the fairies just DYING TO THE TIME FREEZE COLLAPSE???

"goodbye my friend. i'm sorry i was FUCKING USELESS"

branagh you're trying to activate my feelings with this Sad Death Scene(TM) but i am IMPERVIOUS because artemis has had NO RELATIONSHIP WHATSOEVER WITH THIS """DOMOVOI"""

COOL HE'S BACK NOW I’M SO GLAD ACTUAL FULL ON DEATH HAS ZERO CONSEQUENCES NOW THANKS TO OP FAIRY MAGIC

WHAT GREAT WRITING THIS IS

"i didn't cry did i" FUCK OFF

WHY IS IT SO DANGEROUS WHEN THE TIME FREEZE ENDS

WHY IS YOUR TECH SO SHITTY, FOALY

TIME FREEZES AREN'T SUPPOSED TO BE DANGEROUS TO THE OCCUPANTS

THAT GOES AGAINST ALL OF FAIRY RULES

...okay and then it just ends..........?

Domovoi: "you have to try!"

Artemis: "i can't, tho"

Domovoi: "it's too dangerous!"

WHAT IS THIS DIALOGUE

WHO WROTE THIS ABSOLUTE DRIVEL

"the aculos for my father"

THE L.E.P. DOESN'T EVEN HAVE YOUR FATHER YOU ABSOLUTE DOOF

holly how do u know how to do this

the... the aculos is just the fucking Book?

i feel slapped in the face

she just recites the words and. and.

whatever

whatever

i'm done

GO FIND YOUR DAD WHO'S MAGICALLY BACK

WHY WOULD HE BE IN THE BED ARTEMIS

YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE A GENIUS

this girl who plays Holly cannot act

i'm sorry girl

MAGICALLY BACK DAD

HOORAY HOLLY'S CHARACTER CONTINUES TO BE DEFINED BY HER FATHER

FUCK

YOU

WRITERS

AND BRANAGH

BUTLER WOULD NEVER CRY, DOMOVOI

i like the cool earpiece they gave Judi Root to maybe? disguise her hearing aid?

Haven does look pretty cool

too much water above tho it’s not Atlantis guys come on

"i'm a criminal mastermind" LITERALLY WHEN DID YOU SHOW ANY SORT OF MASTERMIND BEHAVIOR OR CRIMINAL BEHAVIOR

BESIDES BRIEFLY KIDNAPPING HOLLY AND THEN IMMEDIATELY LETTING HER OUT

LMAO THAT LAST SHOT OF JULIET JUST LOOKING EXCITEDLY OUT OF THE WINDOW AT THE HELICOPTER WHILE EVERYONE LEAVES HER BEHIND

WHAT'S THE POINT OF THAT EVEN

THIS POOR GIRL YOU’RE JUST LEAVING HER ALONE

WOW THIS PRISON/INTERROGATION PLACE HAS LIKE

NO SECURITY

HI HOLLY WHY ARE YOU HERE??????

THIS WHOLE ENDING IS JUST THE STUPID CAP ON TOP OF A STUPID SUNDAE

i need to go listen to the books again now

[the-nysh]

Reporting back from seeing the opm dub ep3, and I can happily confirm that yes, Garou actually curses! 8D

A lot of the language used this ep is pretty fun too, actually. Genos calls Charanko a ‘pissant’ explaining who he is to Saitama, gosh. Bang refers to Garou as ‘that wretch’ when talking about him with Bomb. (Bang’s voice sounds a bit younger than expected.) Just little things I happened to notice.

Anyway, this is a fun Garou-centric ep in general (one of my favs, the other one being ep11), and I pretty much had the same amount of fun as I did when watching the subs. :D

Garou says ‘hey numb-nuts’ to alert Mumen’s attention. Pfft. :P He does the happy whoop ‘I’m friggen stoked!’ when Tank Top Master arrives, heh omg what a dork.

For his fake out apology, he turns around with the counter, ‘Like hell! I’ll slaughter every last one of you bitches!’ Like whoa, didn’t expect that particular word choice! :O But ayy nice.

The fight is fun cause he keeps the energy going with just the right amount of comeuppance, cockiness, and trash talking. Good stuff.

Meeting Tareo! Oh yes I was waiting for it. X3 Instead of the ‘old dude’ translation for ‘ojisan,’ Tareo calls him the more neutral ‘Mister,’ which is totally fine! :D Tareo’s voice sounds pretty cute and cheery, simply excited to talk to him about heroes, aww. :’)

My FAVORITE line in the whole ep is when Garou says, ‘Catch ya later, turd!’ when he pats Tareo’s head. Omfg I burst out laughing, that was just hilarious. (It’s precisely what my sister and I used to call each other, so oh man, that’s perfect. X’D Esp cause Garou kinda becomes like an older bro to Tareo, so ahh I love it, ahaha.) He also says, ‘don’t call me “mister,” got it? I’m not some old Grandpa. It’s like that, huh? Go home, runt.’ So omg, even more fun. Yeah, I love their dub interactions already.

Golden Ball says stuff like ‘kick rocks’ ‘dweebs’ and ‘jerk off’ as insults (along with some punny ‘ball’ innuendos), but also calls Garou a ‘cocky dirtbag’ to his face, ahaha. (To which Garou replies he’ll stay as cocky as he wants. :P)

Punching out the sleazy HA guy with the ‘kiss’ to the cheek, Garou muses he felt like he just ‘stepped in shit.’ Ooooh REALLY!!! 8D Combine that with his use of ‘bitches’ above, and he actually says shit out loud without getting censored, oh man I’m so glad. (Obviously no explicit f-bombs or anything yet, but I’m both relieved and happy with this amount at least, yay.)

Saitama chopping him out (esp after Garou refers to himself as a ‘big fish,’ heh) is just as funny to see this time again, too. Saitama is also a delight when he passes out bananas to everyone in the hospital; it’s just so cute and charming with a good chuckle every time he does it. :’D Mumen’s a good lad as well, both when he takes a punch from TTM standing up for Garou, and then when talking with Saitama in the hospital later. 

Overall a fun dub ep I’ll probably end up rewatching sometime again too. Metal Bat’s teased in the next ep preview, and I like the attitude I can hear from him already.

For my mom’s reception of the ep (cause yep she was following along pretty intently too, even whining with another ‘aw that’s it??’ again when the ep ended), aha she definitely called me weird (in a tongue in cheek way) for laughing so hard at Garou calling Tareo a ‘turd.’ X’D Buaha, classic. But she mainly wondered about why Garou was fighting heroes, with her question, ‘Is the silver haired guy trying to knock out the competition?’ Following the previous ep with Fubuki’s obsession over hero ranks and all (which my mother didn’t approve of), this is actually a pretty interesting thing for her to think about Garou, in response to that. :O She’s still on the assumption describing him as evil (as he’s presented), so I had to stay cryptic about it and remind her of how he acts around the kid (doesn’t steal the hero book when he could have), and how he doesn’t actually ‘kill’ anyone either, only beating them to the hospital. So he has his reasons, but is he really as evil as he seems?? ;D Oho, she’s all, ‘ahhh it’s too confusing!’ so ahah, I’m really curious what she’ll think about him later in the upcoming eps.