#what a daaaaaay

[navybluetriangles]

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[delicateartisantrash]

A Dangerous Still-Life

it’s dangerous because I almost died putting things back. Turns out breaking in a second time is much harder than the first.

Also, everyone who has stolen and worn trooper armor in the movies never talks about how smelly those helmets are when you take it from a guard that’s been on duty for several hours. My hair still smells like sweaty soldier. Lesson learned.

@imperial-tracker sincerely sorry that took so long, but I am rather attached to living.

[cry4mina]

Changing Lenses

(Momo x fem!reader)

Word Count: 12.3k

Slightly Angsty (but for like 2 minutes) Fluff/Smut

Summary: Your ex girlfriend’s best friend transfers to your school and you’re forced to complete a photography project with her. In time you realize that maybe she’s not who you thought she was…maybe even way better than you hoped.

TW: drinking, food, eating, camping, sex, oral, a lil degradation, a little choking, a little this and that. Taking a picture mid-sex, uhhhhh talks of abusive moments in past relationships. There’s a bear.

AN: Happy Early Momo daaaaaay! Thank you to @psylocke142 for yapping with me about this and helping fuel my delusion!

Please enjoy and drink some water today! Ask are always open and feedback is always welcome! :)🖤

“I’m actually kind of excited for this project! I’m really hoping whoever I’m paired with wants to get the nature prompt too. Especially because the mountains are literally right there.” pointing out the window to show an array of different hilltops that you and your friends frequented for the trails.

“I hope I get the ocean.” Tzuyu, your best friend, flips her hair and checks out the girl who sat in the corner of the study hall.

“You just want to work with Chaeyoung…and she wants the ocean prompt…you can’t even swim.” smirking and giving a light chuckle while shaking your head no in a half hearted tease.

Tzuyu whips her head around, gawking at you while giving her classic “oh my god shut up” look before giving up and swooning over Son Chaeyoung again.

“Well…maybe she will teach me.” sighing as she rests her head on her palm and daydreams about getting partnered with her crush.

“I truly don’t even care who I get partnered with, I just want the mountains. It would be fun to go explore and find animals in their natural habitats, don’t you think?” excitedly leaving your lips as Tzuyu is lost in her delusion.

“Alright everyone!” the professor calms everyone down, bringing their attention to the front of the room.

“We will be doing the pairings for the project shortly, but before we do, I’ve got a new student want to introduce you to!” ushering them into the class room.

Bright blonde hair in a bob style was the first thing you noticed, a red polo that’s cropped and had white stripes across the shirt horizontally was second, the pants were brown and high waisted and her sneakers tied all the colors together.

The girl turns to face the class and immediately your stomach drops, a small gasp follows the dip in your stomach when you realize who she is and why you know her.

“Everyone! This is Momo. She just transferred here from across town. Momo is a very talented photographer, some of her pictures have been featured on the schools website! We are very excited to have you here Momo.” the professor nods her head at Momo and then looks at the class.

“And I’m sure everyone is going to make you feel welcome, right class?” a glare from the teacher and everyone is nodding their head.

Momo finds a seat in the back of the class room next to Chaeyoung and makes small talk with her and you try not to freak out.

“Damn, did you see blondie? She’s kinda cute.” biting her lip and making her eyebrows dance at you continuing her normal playful antics.

“Tzu…I hate to break this to you but no way in HELL am I speaking to that woman.” the distain in your voice could’ve been picked up a mile away.

“Why not? What’s wrong with her? She’s got a fashion sense, the blonde bob is working for her AND she’s a good photogra-”

“That’s Sana’s best friend, Tzuyu.” cutting her off mid sentence so she could understand the gravity of this.

“Sana’s best friend?? Oh, shit.” her typical doe-eyed expression molted into a stunned appearance as she brings her full attention to you for the first time today.

“Yeah, oh shit is right.” rolling your eyes and crossing your arms before laying your head on the desk.

Sana….Minatozaki Sana, your ex-girlfriend. The relationship between the two of you was…well, it wasn’t great.

Hence, the ex part.

You dated for a few years and she was always busy with everyone but you, including Momo. Prioritizing everything but you and your relationship, it hurt you. Of course, it hurt you. At the drop of a hat, you would’ve done anything for her but it wasn’t a shared sentiment.

Not that you and Momo didn’t get along but she always kept to herself when you were around, not wanting to partake in conversations, even small talk, seemingly keeping a distance.

Getting over Sana wasn’t easy by any means. The way she made you feel altered your brain chemistry, and not for the better. Feeling like an accessory to her, only really calling you when she wanted you around her arm, was excruciating every single time.

Still trying to heal from the open wound Sana left you with, you remember the times that didn’t seem so bad. The memories flashing before your eyes before settling coldly in your chest, you weren’t going to crucify Sana but you did still hold some anger towards her.

“Y/n!” professor shouting your name to get your attention.

Startled by this, you jump in your seat - causing a small wave of laughter through the classroom.

“You’ll be paired with Momo. I trust that you will teach her anything she might be behind on, should there be anything.”

The fakest smile you can muster graces your face, even if you were internally screaming - hellfire, blood and brimstone in your lungs because of course this is your luck.

“I’d be happy to.” through clenched teeth.

The professor gives you a strange look and then carries on with pairing people. Tzu and Chae got paired together, Tzuyu almost fell out of her seat when the professor partnered them up.

“You will be responsible for taking pictures of animals and their natural habitats in order to capture unique moments in nature as if it’s for national geographic. Due to to safety concerns, we will be excepting shots from farther away than normal. If any of you see a larger animal that can cause harm, DO NOT APPROACH IT. I’m looking at you, Chaeyoung. That’s why you and Tzuyu are paired up so she can keep you out of trouble…and why you got the ocean prompt you wanted…I don’t want another replay of last time, do you understand?” the tone of her voice is somehow stern, yet playful.

Last project, Chaeyoung befriended the raccoons behind the school, bringing them into class to show them off with the pictures she took of them. They created a massive mess in the classroom and have been trying to sneak back into the building sense.

“I wouldn’t be able to bring a shark in here anyways…” Chaeyoung rolled her eyes at the professor before making eye contact with Tzuyu and offering a wink to her.

Chae has to know, especially with the shade of red that Tzuyu turned when she saw the wink, along with the little gasp - she turned away and proceeded to gay panic to you about it.

Too lost in thought and worried about how this project was going to go, unable to think about anything else. You even considered not participating in it, despite how excited you were moments ago.

It was too big of a grade to skip out on, unfortunately.

The bell rings and you are out the door so quickly, leaving Tzuyu behind and practically running to your car.

“Hey! Wait!” a voice calls from behind you.

Stopping dead in your tracks, you knew exactly who it was.

Tensing up, you take a deep breath and turn around slowly to see Momo jogging towards you, trying to catch up to you with a sheepish smile on her face.

“Hey.” offered to her only out of wanting to be polite.

“Hi.” she offers the same fake niceties back to you.

Both of you shuffle your feet around, not really knowing what to say before she breaks the silence.

“I know this is going to be a little weird considering…but I know you’re very creative and I did always admire the pictures that you took so maybe we can put all the weirdness aside and just do the project?” there’s something genuine about this that peaks your interest.

Hirai Momo, best friend of Minatozaki Sana was being nice to you…?

“I can put my anger aside to work together in this sense.” Momo squints her eyes at you.

There it is.

“HA! Your anger? What could you possibly be angry about Momo? Me breaking up with your best friend because she treated me like shit and decided to only be my girlfriend when she wanted to? Or was it something else?” the sharpness of your tone and remarks catch her off guard, not expecting you to react the way you did.

“Wow, Sana was right…you really are a bitch.”

“Wow, you really are Sana’s best friend…can’t even think of a proper comeback, can you? Do you get mad when people stand up to you too?” rolling your eyes and sighing.

“You have my number. Text me when you’re less…whatever this weird defensive thing is.” turning and walking away for this weird situation you found yourself in.

Very happy to find your car, you slip into the drivers seat and take a deep breath. Unable to believe this was happening to you. She was pissed about what exactly?

“I guess it doesn’t matter.” said to yourself as you turn the key, sparking the ignition and driving off of campus to your apartment.

—

“I can’t fucking believe her.” pacing around your small shared apartment on the northside while Tzuyu is checked out and scribbling hearts with and initials, T+C to be exact.

Stopping in your tracks, you turn to face Tzuyu who is laying down on her stomach on the couch, kicking her feet and humming to herself.

“Tzu…are you even listening?” snarky in your question because you knew the answer was no.

“Of course! Momo sucks and Sana sucks. That’s the tldr.” going back to doodling her hearts in her notebook.

Scoffing at her, you plop next to her on the couch and turn on the TV. Grabbing your back pack and pulling out your laptop.

Time to make a list of the animals that you’d try to take pictures of, depending on what was out at the time. I was close to fall so the odds of a few different animals being visible was high.

The national park website was a nightmare to navigate, you click on a few different links and compile a list of what you should be looking for.

-***Otters*** (prevalent in national parks, should be able to find them easily- in or around the rivers)

-***Deer*** (also prevalent in parks, kind of everywhere so just…look?)

-***Black Bears*** (omnivores and should get picture from distance if seen)

-***Barn Owl*** (Not rare, but cute)

-***Maybe a leopard..?*** (super rare, less that 100 but what a dream that would be)

-***Whatever else we see***

Focused on your research, your phone startles you when it goes off. Looking down to see her name just the way you typed it when you first met.

***Momo:*** Hey, I’m sorry about today. [4:12pm]

***Momo:*** I know that this is awkward and I’m sorry for being passive aggressive. [4:13pm]

***You:*** It’s fine. [4:15pm]

***Momo:*** So…how do you want to do this project? [4:17pm]

***You:*** Well, I’m going to go camping in the mountains that we have our assignment in this weekend. Friday to Sunday. [4:20pm]

***Momo:*** Great, I’m coming with you. I’ll pick you up at 3pm on Friday. [4:23pm]

***You:*** Fine. [4:25pm]

Tossing your phone on the couch, you look over at Tzuyu who is still in her own little world, texting who you can only assume is Chaeyoung.

“Oh my god, Chaeyoung just asked me if I wanted to go to the beach with her!” screeched out over the movie playing in the background.

“…For the project?” coming across as bitter in the moment, stress getting to you more than usual.

“Well…I mean, yes. But think about what you wear to the beach…and also it’s the beach!” jumping out of her previous position to hop up and down in place.

Rolling your eyes, you stand up and gather your things, backpack, laptop, and phone before making your way to your room.

“I’m happy for you, Tzu” trying not to sound dismissive as you close the door behind you and put your stuff down next to your desk in the corner.

Taking a deep breath- you try to forget. Not just the Momo situation but what it brings up for you. All the thoughts about Sana rush back into your mind’s eye, remembering all of what she put you through and the harsh words exchanged when the unhealthy relationship was brought to a point.

A single tear falls from your eye, though this was a year ago…it still bothered you. It rewired the way you thought about relationships and life with others. It made you want to isolate as she would say some horrific things to you subtly and wore you down until you thought she was the only person who could truly love you for you.

It was heavy to carry on your shoulders.

Plopping down on the bed, you try to decompress a little bit. A few deep breaths just to try and focus yourself back on the present, but it failed.

Dissociating for the rest of the night seemed to be your body’s plan, trying not to hurt your own feelings by reliving the memories with Sana and the future anxieties about having to work closely with Hirai Momo.

—

“I think that is everything.” whispered to yourself, sifting through the few changes of clothes and the camping equipment you decided to bring with you.

Most of the bigger things were in the truck of your car. The small grill, the wood for the fire, and a a cooler for some food you were going to bring with you. The tents you were bringing are currently tangled in your back seat but you would sort that out while you wait for Momo to arrive.

Not putting it past her to just leave you high and dry, you wonder if she will actually show up. Besides, her best friend was flaky, why wouldn’t she be?

Bringing down your bags to the car, you see Tzuyu is already gone. Chaeyoung and her went to the beach about an hour down south and rented an Air B&B so they could stay the weekend and complete their project.

A smirk on your face, you wonder how much of the project they will actually do considering Tzuyu is head over heels for Chaeng and Chaeyoung seemed interested enough to pay for the rental on the beach, which wasn’t exactly cheap for a broke college student.

Looking at your phone, the time reads 2:17pm. Momo said she would be here at 3pm so you’ve got 45-ish minutes to untangle these tents. Arguably the most important part of camping.

Not even bothering to ask Momo if she was going to bring anything, you just assumed she wouldn’t so you packed just about everything you would need - she would probably be unbearable the entire time and just complain like a certain someone she was close to.

Rolling your eyes at this scenario, you keep tugging at the ropes and trying to undo the massive knots that built up and strengthened over the years of sitting in storage.

A honk startles you out of concentration.

Looking up, you see a black SUV in the parking lot behind you. Blonde bob in the driver’s seat subtly waving at you. Waving her to come over to you, you say nothing. Just point at the pile of supplies that will sustain you for the next few days.

“Do you want me to load this up while you…uh, untangle that?” shouted out the window of the car.

“No, I’ll help you.” putting the tent back in the back seat of the car and closing the door, planning on returning to that after everything was packed up in the car.

Momo turns the car off and gets out. She’s wearing a crop top and some cargo pants, a little out of character for her but okay…we are camping, after all.

She walks around the car to open the trunk, you can’t help but notice how toned she is. Her abs and arms are muscular…No, no. You can’t have those thoughts about her. This is Sana’s best friend, snap out of it.

Bringing a few duffle bags to the trunk, you toss them in the back. Momo grabs the cooler full of ice and various food items and puts it in the trunk without even wincing….damn, she’s strong.

Once everything was done, Momo closed the trunk and you both got in the car.

“Alright, are you ready?” looking over at you, she was trying to be polite though you had a hard time believing that.

“Yeah.” softly as you turn your attention to your phone and try to tune her out.

“Are you sure? Because we are going to be out in the middle of a national forest so I just want to make sure everything you want, you have.” the tone this comes with is more caring that snarky, which surprises you.

“I’m sure.” Looking up from your phone to give her the smallest smile you could, she returns the gesture and starts driving towards the park where you would spend the next few days together.

—

The drive was long with no talking between the two of you, grateful she had good taste in music at least, you can’t help but wonder if this is as awkward for her as it is for you. 2 hours of music you both enjoyed was a better start to this adventure than you anticipated.

You didn’t know Momo well, but you knew her well enough to know that you had a few things in common. Photography being the biggest one, but you’re now discovering that music taste is also something that you shared.

“I love this song.” softly to her as she turns into the park.

“Me too.” as she pulled up to the small building that blocks off the entrance and rolls her window down.

“Good Evening! Do you have a reservation?” the man dressed in all khaki cheerfully asks as you pull out your ID.

“Yes, it should be under L/n Y/n.” chiming in from the seat over and passing your ID to him.

“Great, give me one moment.” the man walks back to the office and does something on his computer before returning with a tag for the rearview mirror of the car.

“You ladies will be on lot 64! Please remember to throw away your trash and leave the site how you found it! Here is a can of bear mace, just in case as it is the season where they are preparing to go into hibernation. Please also remember to not leave any food out as that attracts them! Enjoy your stay!” the man taps the car lightly and waves you off.

Find the spot was tricky, the numbers were not in order at all but you managed. Happy to see the spot was a little deeper in the woods and closer to the trails than you thought it would be - you could take better pictures this way and it was secluded, which was always nice.

Momo put the car in park and hopped out. You took your time, putting the bear mace in the glove box, taking a deep breath and closing your eyes before getting out.

She’s already in the trunk, unloading things and putting them where she thought they would go.

Helping her in this task, you start setting up.

Placing the wood to the side and gathering some of the dry leaves from the trees around you, being sure to push them away from the fire pit before building up the wood so it would catch easier.

The silence between the two of you is awkward, wondering if there would be any reprieve to the tension of being out here with someone you only saw in a negative light.

“Hey Y/n…” the tone takes you off guard, it sounds concerned.

“Yes, Momo?”

“Did you remember to pack the tents you were untangling?” her brows are furrowed, glaring at you because she already knows the answer.

“…Shit.”

“Shit is right… Don’t worry, that’s why I told you I was driving.” turning around to face the trunk of her car, before crawling inside.

“What do you mean?” confusion paints a picture on your face as you walk over and watch her pull a latch on the back seats and push them down, they hit the front and end up at an angle.

“Well, your car is a car. This being an SUV, if it rained or got too cold or anything, we could just sleep in the back. Like a back up plan, you know?” jumping out, she walks over to the driver’s seat and scoots it all the way up, doing the same for the passenger seat.

The back seats slip down past the front seats and land flatly, creating a somewhat spacious area. There is a small handle located on the floor of trunk in the SUV, Momo tugs on the latch and you hear the bulky plastic click, opening up her spare tire compartment.

“Can you toss me the sleeping bags?” a hand reaching out to catch them while she holds the door open.

Doing as she says, you bring her the sleeping bags and watch as she tugs a massive king sized fleece blanket out from the compartment and close it.

“I’m going to get a fire going…” quietly as she rustles around with the bags, linking them together and getting tangled in them.

“K!” shouted back to you as she starts to lay them flat and spread them out to fit the entire back of her car and partially up the sides of the back doors.

Walking over to the fire pit that previously had your attention, shoving more of the dried leaves into the bottom and stacking them against the wood that was holding itself up. Sparking your lighter, you put the flame to the kindling and let it catch before backing up.

The fire took no time to roar in front of you, catching the logs quickly and creating a lovely source of heat.

“Wow, I didn’t know you were a boy scout.” Momo walked over and nudged you playfully.

Smirking at the comment, you catch yourself before she sees the pleasant reaction from you. Brows furrowing before a monotonous dry “whatever,” leaves your lips.

“I’m going to walk down this trail and see what we are working with…stay with the fire.” before grabbing your backpack with your camera equipment and scurrying away from her.

There was little daylight left but you needed some time away from her, you were going to follow the path so it’s not like you would get lost. You just wanted a breather and to scout the area that you were in for potential spots to get the pictures you needed for this project.

It was astounding to you that she was being so…civil, especially considering the interaction you had with her on campus just a few days earlier. Deep in thought with this, you walk down the path, leaves crunching under your feet.

Some how the deep thoughts turned into you remembering her abs…how chiseled they were…and her arm muscles and the way she carried all that equipment without even breaking a sweat. Unable to remove her from your mind, you were frustrated with yourself.

Of course she was attractive, she always was but you can’t help but see her in a different light now. Not even knowing if she resented you for the past, it seems like she’s willing to let go of whatever grudge she might have been holding onto and that settled your mind more than you anticipated.

The crisp fall air was lovely this time of year, just nice enough to wear a hoodie and some jeans and be comfortable.

Perfect for this adventure, even if it was with Momo…but was Momo who you thought she was?

Rustling behind you startles you, freezing in place as you try to gauge where the sound was coming from. Rotating your back pack, you pull your camera out of it very slowly so whatever was behind you didn’t hear or run away as it might be an opportunity to snag a picture.

The sounds of the twigs snapping behind you was light, nothing that would’ve been a threat to you, thankfully. Quietly turning in place, a deer reveals itself to you from behind the shrubs of the path you had just walked past.

Looking over at you, you stand very very still, not wanting to frighten the deer…thought it was definitely a buck, big points on the antlers that were velvety, typical for this time of year, though you had never seen it yourself.

Lifting your camera to angle the shot properly, you are sure to zoom in on his face and click. Capturing the stillness of him in a millisecond. He hears the camera go off and looks directly at you.

A bit of nervousness shivers through you as you make eye contact with the buck, not too sure about the temperament when they’re in this part of their natural cycle.

Despite this, you take a few more shots of him. He decides you are not a threat and simply carries on his way.

Flipping through the pictures you just took, there is one in particular of him looking directly at you that you fall in love with. Starting to walk back towards camp as the evening turns into night, you reach camp right as the last drop of sun sulks behind the hills.

“Hey, Momo. Look at this.” walking over to where she placed the chairs in front of the fire without looking up from your camera.

Being so proud of this picture, you feel an excitement to show someone who also loves this hobby as much as you do.

“Oh, wow! That’s an amazing picture! Especially with the colors, the balance of them across the screen is fantastic.” Momo looks up at you, catching your eyes in the process and offers a smile.

Smiling back at her for the first time without hesitation, a warm feeling bubbles in your stomach. Quickly realize that maybe she wasn’t so bad after all…but you were still apprehensive on getting close to her.

There is no harm in a little kindness, right?

“While you were gone, I made you some dinner.” Momo turns her attention back to the fire that had a metal grate with four legs placed on top of it that she must have brought with her because it was not in what you packed.

A pan set on top of it, using a utensil she flipped over a piece of meat that she took upon herself to cook for you.

“You…cooked me dinner?” sitting down in the chair next to her before she offers you a fresh plate of veggies and steak with gravy drenching both.

“Well…yeah, I know that we haven’t exactly gotten off on the right foot…so I thought this might be a nice peace offering?” shying away from you as you start to slice the perfectly cooked beef.

“I will say…This is very gourmet for camping.” laughing as you took a bite of what she offered you, it was delicious.

Eyes widened and then close, humming into the mixture of flavors that paired so well. Immediately digging into another bite as soon as you swallow the first.

“Yeah, well I like to eat good food so you have to know how to cook at least a little bit for that to be consistent.” giggling at your reaction to your first bite.

“Peace offering accepted!” shouted while goofily pointing your fork in the air before taking another huge bite.

“I had no idea…” speaking with your mouth full because it’s just that good.

“That you could cook…” chopping down and enjoying the flavors thoroughly.

“Like THIS.” pointing down to the plate and swallowing your second bite.

“I think there might be a lot of things you don’t know about me, Y/n…” softly spoken to you over the chewing of your food and the crackling of the fire.

“You’re probably right…it’s not like she would ever let us get close enough to learn personal stuff about each other…and you did keep to yourself a lot when I was around.” thinking back, it was always weird how Sana kept you to herself.

Sure, you went to parties with her and out to dinner with her and friends, but anytime you struck up a conversation with anyone that wasn’t her, she would interject and try to get your attention.

Being blinded by her love bombing, you didn’t think it was for any reason in particular but you were now realizing that it might have been to keep you separate from those she held close so she could warp the narrative in her favor…

“She told me you broke up with her because you fell in love with someone else.” Momo recalled timidly.

“Sana said that you basically told her to fuck off because you wanted to sleep around and be with other people…she called me crying the night you broke up with her about it.” tensing at the memory, you freeze at the false claim spoken to you bashfully.

Blinking multiple times, you look at Momo in confusion.

“What?” the infliction of your words showed that they were essentially false, but you felt the need to defend yourself.

“That’s not true at all…I told her that I wanted to feel like a priority and not an accessory and if she couldn’t do that then I wanted to end things. She tried to justify the way she treated me but she couldn’t because she knew I wasn’t asking for too much. So I ended things. There wasn’t anyone else involved at all.” a single tear rolls down your cheek, reflecting Momo’s shock at the way you had been painted to her.

All this time, Momo assumed that you were just a shit person, without knowing your side of the story. Why wouldn’t she believe Sana? After all, she was her best friend. There was no reason to question her story until now.

“I’m so sorry…I shouldn’t have assumed that what she said was the truth…” A genuine apology, a nervous one, but real care was placed in those words she gave to you.

“It’s okay…it’s not like you knew what was going on behind the scenes…” reassuring her that you didn’t blame her for reacting the way she did.

“I should’ve known something was up though, especially with the way you reacted to me talking about being angry with you when we first spoke on campus. That’s why I’ve been trying to be nice because I don’t think the person that she described would have reacted that way or said what you did.” Her eyes shift to the ground, seemingly lost in thoughts about the stories that Sana told you about her, a twinkle of something else shined through but she was still too unfamiliar to tell what that was.

“Hey, Momo.” standing up and placing the rest of your food down on the small table between the chairs you both sat in.

“Hi, I’m Y/n” sticking your hand out to offer her a handshake.

Momo giggles and stands with you, placing her hand in yours and shaking it firmly.

“I’m Momo, it’s nice to officially meet the real you.”

“The feeling is mutual. Fresh start?” offered to her to see if maybe there was a friendship that could be built with her.

“Fresh start.”

—

Spending the next few hours taking about life and finding common interests was surprisingly easy for both of you.

Photography and dance were her main passions, she transferred to the college you both attended due to moving over in the area and the photography program.

Telling her about your experience with Sana and why you moved out here, the photography program of course, and to just get away from your home town where everything was tainted with the lavender flavor of Sana.

“Everything reminded me of her, so I left to get away from it all. There was too much history there for me so I decided I wanted a clean slate.” nodding your head and yawning as midnight approached.

“I can understand that.” Momo stands up and starts burning the paper plates you had eaten off of in attempts to clean up a little bit.

“I think it’s about time we head to bed, no? It’s getting late and we should get up early tomorrow and explore.” kicking some dirt into the fire that was dying down to kill it faster as you stood up and stretched.

“It’s cold tonight, I’m glad you drove.” chattered through your teeth while grabbing a lantern and a charger to plug into the car so you could charge your phone.

“Go get comfortable, I’ll be there in a moment.” straightening up the camp site some more as you made your way to the trunk, hanging the lantern by the handle on a hook that was attached to the ceiling for some light.

Momo laid out the sleeping bags in an interesting way, connecting the two via a zipper a the bottom and still allowing them to over lap at the top, creating one queen sized sleeping bag. The big fleece blanket was folded over the top of the connected wind breaker like material to add an extra layer of warmth.

Crawling in, you took off your hoodie, folding it up and using it as a pillow. Laying your head down made your eyes heavy, wrapped in the warmth of the woman-made cocoon. Fighting your eyes to try and stay awake, you wanted to wait for Momo but it seemed the full stomach, the chirping of the crickets, and calmness of the night got to you quickly.

Dozing off for a moment, you sleep softly before the REM cycle hits. The SUV’s suspension gives Momo away no matter how quiet she was trying to be to not disturb you.

Shifting in your spot, you open your eyes halfway to see her crawl under the covers after closing the trunk and locking the car from the inside. She’s brought your camera and hers with her into the car.

“While you were sleeping, I saw a barn owl and got a really cool shot of it. I’ll show you in the morning.” yawning as she finishes her sentence, turning the electric lantern off and you both drift off to sleep.

—

The sun shining through the back window wakes you up, checking your phone- it’s 7:15am and Momo is sound asleep next to you looking peaceful and delicate while she rests.

Admiring her for a moment, you take in her visage and wonder how you could ever assume this person could be anything other than what she showed you she was last night.

Sitting up, you stretch - cracking your back and taking a deep breath in before sneaking the keys away from her silently and opening the trunk to try and slip out without waking her.

Successful in this, you leave the trunk open and make your way to the fire pit to start a fire and make some coffee. Bringing a metal pitcher with you, filling it with two bottles of water and some instant coffee, you let it simmer on the fire and take in the morning air.

It was crisp outside, you wondered if it was going to warm up any today when you remembered what Momo said while you were half asleep last night about the picture she took.

Sneaking over to the car, you grabbed both your camera and hers so you could see the shot of the barn owl that she had taken.

Going back to the seat in front of the fire and turning the camera on, you come across a few shots of the bird in a tree with pitch blackness in the background. The owl being a little over exposed but still a very detailed picture that was worth some praise.

Flipping through, it looks like Momo took a few different shots of this owl from different angles. Hitting the button several times, you find a candid picture of yourself in what seems to be mid-laughter with the fire in front of you.

When did she take this…? Last night while you were talking?

The camera is suddenly snatched out of your hands aggressively. Looking up to see an annoyed Momo plopping down in the chair and glaring at you.

“I never told you that you could look through my pictures. I could’ve had private things on here!” the irritation she was feeling reverberated off every rib in the cage of your chest, worried that you might have just ruined the friendship you just cultivated with her.

“Momo…I didn’t mean to violate your privacy, I’m sorry. I was interested in the photo of the owl…” not mentioning the candid picture she took of you when you weren’t paying attention, not wanting to make the situation worse.

“Please don’t do that again.” pouring herself a cup of coffee and standing up, she starts walking down the trail by herself.

Time for her to get away from you for a moment, just like you took your space yesterday. Not chasing after her, just allowing her to take the time she needed to cool off - no matter how much you wanted to fix things.

While you watch as she walks down the trail and around the bend, your mind wanders back to that picture. The one of you laughing and smiling at her, the way your eyes sparkled…

Physically shaking your head and trying to knock the thoughts out of your brain, you decide to just focus on the nature around you to escape the thoughts of Momo and the picture…even if it was only for a moment.

—

Momo returned within the hour, camera in hand and excitement on her face. Running over to you and crouching down next to the chair you were relaxing in, too thrilled with the contents of her camera for pleasantries.

“LOOK!” shouted with pure enthusiasm as she flips through her camera so you could see the screen.

The picture showed of a leopard sleeping in a tall tree. The shot was perfectly exposed, no over saturation or awkward angles. Just a perfect picture of a very large and very rare cat snoozing on a branch.

“Holy shit!” loudly exclaiming as your eye widened in surprise.

There were less than 100 of those leopards out in the wild and this picture was immaculate.

“Right?!” Momo is bouncing up and down like a child who just got ice cream, shimmying goofily in place and waving her camera above her head in sheer joy.

Admiring her with her guard down, you admitted to yourself that she was more than pleasant to be around - her authentic self was lovely.

“That’s an incredible picture…I think you actually should submit that to national geographic…not even as a joke.” happy that she wasn’t angry at you anymore.

Just being around her when she’s beaming like this was a treat in itself…the warmth returns in your stomach, the bubbling up of something you now recognized but didn’t want to admit.

“You think I should?” Stoping her victory dance and looking to you for some direction in the matter.

“Absolutely! Look at it, I mean they could use this in texts books and so many different things…Momo, you have to submit this. No question.” Looking at the picture of the camera in her hand again, but you could feel her eyes on you.

“But do me a favor…be careful, please. I know you can probably fend for yourself but there are very dangerous animals around here and I don’t want you to get hurt…okay?” Gently spoken to her with care that had never threaded your words before.

Looking up, your eyes lock - there’s a bit of tension but it wasn’t the resentful tension that previously laid between the two of you a few days prior.

This was very different.

Momo’s eyes soften, half lidded in the way that she held your gaze.

Heart thumping in your chest when you realize what the tension is - this has sparked some panic in you.

Feeling the tips of your fingers quiver, you break the eye contact and kick the fire out. Grabbing your own camera that hung off the side of your chair, you walk up to Momo and smile.

“Well, we’ve got another full day here, why not explore a little together?” cocking an eyebrow at her before starting off down the trail with great haste, trying to out run the sparkling shiny feelings that would soon catch up to you.

“I think there’s a river up north a ways, why don’t we go see what we can find over there?” looking back to see her hurrying after you, blushing as she catches up.

There’s something here…you both feel it, right?

—

After walking and snapping pictures of the different flora in the area, you finally found what you had been looking for. 30 minutes of beautiful nature down the trail to find a crystal clear, calm river and the bridge that went over it where the trail continued on.

You and Momo walk down to the edge of the bank, looking over the water to see the fish swimming around along with a few otters underneath the bridge, holding hands to not get separated.

Nudging Momo with your elbow, she looks up at you in confusion. Putting your finger to your lips to keep her from speaking too loudly, you point over at the otters that were heading towards you - floating down stream lazily together, fast asleep.

Both of you grabbing your cameras, you snap pictures together. Both getting different angles and then making whisper suggestions to the other, ensuring not to wake up the sleeping water puppies - but then you get an idea.

“Hold this a second” hushed toned, handing her your camera before removing your shoes and socks.

Stripping your pants and shirt off so you’re just in your underwear, you take a step into the water and shiver for a moment.

Momo is beat red, trying not to look you up and down as you snatch your camera back from her and wade into the cold water to get a closer look at the otters and get a better shot of them.

Flush red, speechless, and completely taken off guard would be a very mild way to put what was currently happening to Momo. Her jaw was on the floor, her hands were sweating and she was shaking to take pictures of the otters from the bank.

Turning around and giggling at her, you wave to her to get her to come into the water with you. Waist deep and already snapping shot, she joins you in her sports bra and underwear, sheepishly.

“Don’t be so shy.” whispered to herself as she tries to get a clean shot of the otters, you find this to be adorable.

Unaware that you heard her, you look at her and realize that maybe that’s what the tension was. Maybe she just found you attractive and was unsure how to express it. Maybe it’s because you were Sana’s ex…maybe she didn’t want to cross boundaries… or maybe she didn’t care what you used to be and only really cared about who you are now.

But were you bold enough to make a move?

Was she bold enough for that? Seems like she might need a little encouragement.

That’s the question you asked yourself when your eyes lifted from your camera and you saw what could potentially be the scariest thing you have ever seen.

A massive black bear.

Not just any black bear though, a mama bear and her two cubs - seemingly having the same idea that you had.

Taking a dip on a nice day.

Stepping back slowly, you don’t think that they had seen you yet. Grabbing Momo’s arm you pull her, trying to get her to move without causing a panic.

“One second, I think I’m getting close to the shot I want.” whispered at you, completely oblivious to what was going on around the two of you.

“Momo, there isn’t time…take a step back. Now.” sternly breathed back to her.

“What are you tal- oh shit.” finally realizing the danger you both were in as she followed your movements backwards cautiously, without arguing further.

Slowly getting out of the water and making as little sound as possible, you grabbed your shoes and clothes, not bothering to put them on and crept back to the trail.

Momo slipped her pants and shoes back on while you snuck over to the bridge to see what the bears were doing and if they caught on to the fact that you were so close to them.

The cubs were playing around and splashing in the water and it looks like mama bear was just wading in the shallows, looking for some food - no doubt.

Utilizing the camera, you zoom into the cubs, framing them as best you could and snap a few pictures of them playing.

“They’re so cute.” coming from behind you, startling you.

Turning around to face the voice, you watch as she stands next to you. That’s when you fully realize how stunning Momo actually is.

The water that soaked her bra was dripping down her stomach, following the curves of her abs in a way that made you swallow every rude moment you ever said to her, the guilt weighing heavy in your stomach.

Momo was too distracted by the bears to even notice you gawking at her, so you took a step back and slipped your clothes on again, leaving your shirt off to try and dry out your bra.

She leans against the wood of the bridge with her head resting in her palm, admiring the cubs playful demeanor and sighing at the cuteness that they displayed, splashing around without a care in the world while mom kept watch.

Pointing your camera at her, you took a photo.

One single photo.

You’d argue it was the most perfect one.

“Are you ready to head back to camp?” inquired without looking in your direction, still looking in adoration at the creatures dancing in the water.

“I’d say so. I think we have all the pictures we need for the project too…so we could leave tonight if you want…” even with the suggestion, you could feel the knot of regret in your stomach.

Not really wanting to leave, you were enjoying this time with her - even if you didn’t want to admit it to yourself, let alone her.

“No, we should stay. You did pay for the two nights so we might as well use them! Plus, who knows what else we can see while we are here.” looking to you and offering a soft smile.

On the way back to camp, you are lost in your thoughts. Trying to organize your brain about this situation you find yourself in. Your ex girlfriends best friend…who you’re spending time with and actually enjoying spending time with…who can cook and likes to take pictures…who is adventurous…and also wildly attractive…

Oh boy.

It snaps into your mind like a rubber band shot across the room, a flash of lightening igniting your entire nervous system into flames and disintegrating you into a complete pile of chemically compounded dust.

You like her.

You romantically like her.

“Well, shit.” unintentionally out loud for the entire forest to hear, Momo included.

“Is everything okay?” stopping in her tracks and checking in with you.

“Yes, yes. Everything is fine. I was just lost in thought.” trying to avoid the conversation entirely as you weren’t really sure if you were ready to tell her your new intel about this crush you now have on her.

“Are you sure? I’m here for you…if you want me to be.” turning to face you and placing her hand on your upper arm.

Swooning was an understatement.

Her touch was like that of a thousand suns burning your skin all at once, the warmth, the care and the undivided attention of her left you wondering what it would’ve been like if you actually got the chance to get to know her before Sana.

If you would’ve dated, or had more positive interactions.

If her judgement of you wouldn’t have been warped by someone else’s lies.

“Thanks Momo…that means a lot coming from you.”

She offers a smile and you both continue walking back to camp with you still completely lost in the “What ifs”

—

This night was similar to the last, Momo made dinner again, similar to the night before but with a little twist. You broke out a bottle of tequila and some pineapple juice you had tucked away and you drank with her and shared some of your fondest memories from your childhood.

She shared with you the asperations of her life, how she wanted to be a professional photographer and that she actually would prefer to shoot models and fashion but really enjoyed the photography you guys did together on the trip.

The drinks were working on you, loosening you up and making you more carefree. Allowing her to know the real you was not as tough are you thought, thank you tequila.

Building up the courage, you finally ask her a question that had been burning on your mind since you saw the proof this morning.

“Hey, Momo? Can I ask you something?” apprehensive even with the alcohol in your system.

“Of course, you can ask me anything.” taking a swig of her drink and a bite of the meal she made for the two of you.

“Why did you take that picture of me last night?”

Momo freezes, it was very obvious that she was not expecting that to be the question you were going to ask.

Taking another big swig of her drink, polishing the glass off before looking at you and placing her elbows on her knees, clasping her hands together - she took a deep breath and what came next, shocked you.

“Do you want the truth?” voice shaky while she builds up her courage.

Unable to help but admire how adorable she is when she’s nervous, you try to break the tension she’s holding within herself.

“Lie to me.” laughing as you say it.

Momo cracks a smile and then takes one more deep breath.

“I’ve had a crush on you since before you and Sana dated.”

“What?”

“Yeah, I saw you in the halls at school and thought you were so beautiful…I stupidly pointed that out to her and she decided to go after you. That’s why she never let us get close…that’s also why her and I are no longer close…” exhaling after the sentence to relieve the stress.

Everything now makes sense, the dinner, the way she made the bed in the trunk, the making sure she spent time with you on this project and the most important thing being that comment she made about her anger…she was never angry at you, only angry at the situation and the judgement you placed on her because of Sana.

“…I had no idea…I thought you hated me because of what happened between Sana and I…I didn’t realize…”

“I know you didn’t…but don’t beat yourself up about it…It’s not like she told you and it’s also not like I told you either.” There was a comforting shift in her voice, no longer shaking as she tried to sooth you for the information you hadn’t previously had.

Grabbing your camera that was hanging on the side of your chair, you turned it on quickly and went to the gallery, finding that picture you took of her and passing her the camera.

Momo’s jaw dropped, staring at the picture and realizing when you took it.

“Can I tell you something?” offered to her in exchange for the vulnerability shared to you previous.

“Of course,” another deep breath as she braces for the truth.

“Remember when I said “well, shit” earlier?”

Her eyes perk up.

“Yeah?”

“It’s because I realized that I like you…”

Even you’re shocked by what just came out of your mouth.

Did you really just admit that?

“…really?” inquired in the smallest voice, never thinking Momo could sound so timid, despite seeing some moments of it previously.

“Yes…once I lost the image that Sana put in my head of you, and stopped assuming you would be like her…Once I really got to know parts of you, I realized that I wanted to learn more and more about you.” shying away from her gaze on you as you carried on with your statement.

“I…don’t know what to do with myself.” Momo blurted out between nervous glances at you.

She’s so cute like this, you really can’t help yourself.

Standing up and taking a big step so you were in front of her you reach down to cup her face. Leaning in, you taste the drink you made for her off her lips.

Drunk from alcohol or Momo’s soft lips against yours, you were not sure but you were feeling dizzy at the touch of her mouth on yours. Soft pecks that were laced in sweet subtle movements and the pinning for more of her in everyway, already addicted to the feeling of her skin on yours.

Breaking apart from the kiss, you watch her lick her lips and that releases something within you that you hadn’t felt in a long time.

Yearning, wasn’t the word.

It was a violent want.

An aggressive need.

Though you both had been drinking, would it be a silly idea to see if she was interested in pushing this way past a kiss?

Maybe it was better to wait?

“If you kiss me like that again…there might be an issue.” Momo finally speaks up between your inner monologue, standing up and getting so close to your face that your noses touch.

“Oh yeah? How so, Ms. Hirai?” poking a little fun at her, giggling as she wraps her arms around you, and leans into you.

“Maybe I’ll show you on a night where we haven’t been drinking.” whispered in a sultry tone into your ear making you melt in every single way possible.

“Fine!” scrunching your nose in protest and stomping off playfully back to your seat.

Momo chuckles and follows you, sitting on your lap like it’s always been her seat and resting her body against yours.

“I’m getting sleepy, the anxiety of today was a lot.” yawning in confirmation that it was a shared tired.

“Why don’t you go and get comfortable? I’ll take care of everything out here.”

“Let me help.” in a half asleep argument.

“No, go get cozy! It’s cold so you have to warm up the sleeping bag.” rubbing her back gently to further her sleepiness.

Mindlessly getting up, she starts walking over to the trunk and strips her shirt off on the way. You’re, of course, watching her as she walks. She reaches behind her and unclips her bra, exposing her bare back to you.

Turning her head back to you and winking before crawling into the trunk.

This brings a need to do everything as hastily as possible so you can go a lay down with her, wondering if you would be able to even sleep next to her now that she was completely bare from the waist up.

Kicking dirt over the fire to put it out, you notice the sheer coldness that had crept in while you were sitting next to the blaze.

Scanning the site to make sure everything was put away well enough to go to sleep, you grab the keys and the cameras before heading to the trunk where Momo was laying under the covers with the lantern on and shivering.

“I-it’s s-so c-c-cold!” Teeth chattering as she watches you crawl in and close the door.

Slipping the cameras and keys into the front seat, you take off your shirt and crawl under the covers with her, flicking the light off and getting comfortable.

“Come here.” Pulling her closer to you so your body heat would help warm the two of you up.

Scooting into her, she rolled over and lay her head against your chest. The sting of her iced touch lingers for a moment before you feel her thawing out. Running your hand over her back a few times to try to conduct friction to bring her temperature up faster so she can be more comfortable.

Very quick to realize she still wasn't wearing a shirt, you tugged the sleeping bag over her shoulders as well as the fleece blanket to trap the heat, and to save yourself from the tipsy mindset of wanting more than just a kiss.

“Did you just cover my shoulders more?” Laughing into your chest as she realized what you did.

“I’m simply preserving your warmth, Momo!” Kicked back to her but she already knew you were lying.

Heart beating a million miles a minute as her chest was pressed against your stomach, feeling her nipple against your skin and her fingers tracing lightly on your back sent you into a spiral of trying not to go completely feral.

Laying with each other in the back of Momo’s SUV was not something that you thought would ever happen, but you’re very very glad it was happening.

Leaning down, you kiss the top of her head and try to pull her ever closer.

“Feeling warmer?” cooed to her.

“Yes, now I’m cozy.” Nuzzling into you and holding you tighter.

“Good”

Momo tilts her head back and extend her lips out to you, asking for a good night kiss to seal the deal on everything that had happened in the past few hours.

You quickly comply and play with her hair as she falls asleep in your arms.

—

Birds chirping loudly in the trees nearby tug you out of your dreams and into the Sunday morning that was upon you.

Rolling over you notice that the trunk is open and you can smell the campfire going.

Momo is awake already.

Sitting up and stretching your arms out, you rub your eyes before scooting out of the cabin and letting your feet hang outside the trunk, sitting up while you take in the autumn morning.

“Good Morning, sunshine.” Momo walks over with a cup of coffee and a smile, offering you the cup and kissing your cheeks.

Taking a sip of the warmth in a mug, you notice that Momo is wearing your shirt.

“Cute shirt, where’d you get it?” Pointing at it before sipping the coffee again.

“Oh you know, this girl I have a major crush on…I stole it from her. But don’t tell her! It’s a secret.” Lifting her finger up to shush you lightheartedly.

“Is this girl your girlfriend? Should I tell her that we kissed? She won’t be happy about that!” Winking at her and matching her silliness.

“She is not my girlfriend, but she should be…Maybe I should take it off then? So she doesn’t get jealous?” Lifting the hem of her shirt up slowly over her stomach before tugging up and taking it off, revealing her breasts to you with barely any warning.

Stunned at the sight you have practically woken up to, you scan her up and down and watch as she brings herself closer to you, placing one hand on each of you knee and spreading them apart so she can get in between them.

“We are sober now…” kissing your cheeks before lifting your face to meet hers.

“No one’s around, I haven’t seen anyone drive by since we’ve been here…” another kiss, this one on the lips and deeper than any one you had shared before.

Hands finding their way to her waist as you pull her closer to you, trying to fill in the space between your bodies as any space between you was too much.

Tongues starting to dance with each other as things picked up, Momo reaches behind you, unhooking your bra and throwing it to the front of the car.

Guiding you onto your back by pushing your shoulders, she ushers you up and gets you to scoot inside farther so she could have more space to crawl on top of you.

“I’ve waited for this…” a kiss to your neck renders you incapable of focusing on anything but her.

“…For so fucking long…” dragging her mouth down to your chest and a tongue flick to your nipple make you arch your back and whine softly, hand trailing up and gripping her hair as she descends the length of your body.

“…and I will have you…” kissing down your stomach and to the waistline of the shorts you wore, tugging on them, removing your underwear with them, and placing them to the side.

“Are you going to be a good girl for me?” Dragging her mouth down your hips, grazing her teeth against your skin so gently but it ignites the hostile craving that was put on the back burner last night.

Never in a million years did you think you’d be in this position with Hirai Momo but here you were with her now wrapping her arms around your thighs and laying gentle soft pecks down until finally her tongue swipes your slit causing a jolt from your hips and a guttural moan from your lungs.

“So what do you say, baby? You gonna be good for me and let me eat my breakfast in peace?” Seductively before another tender lick from your entrance to your clit renders you in capable of formulating any words other from “fuck” and “yes please.”

“Good girl.”

Momo kept her tongue against you, writing unspoken poems of the care and attraction she had for you for all these years against the most sensitive parts of you, taking her time and making sure to lick every single drop of slick off your folds.

Though she was slow in her movements, every ounce of pleasure she gave you was so divine and delicious, it left you yearning and pinning for more like you had finally quenched your thirst after years without a single drink.

Unable to keep still underneath her as she spells out how much she’s wanted this with her mouth, you mewl and whine for her, thrusting your lower body up while your hands wandered to the back of her head in attempts to pull her closer to you.

A finger teases your entrance, dipping the first knuckle of her pointer finger inside of you causing you to rock your hips softly, showing her exactly what she was looking for.

“You want my fingers inside you, don’t you?” Only removing her mouth for a second to tease you with the thought.

Only being able to hum in agreeance, you try to say yes with thrusting your hips down. She brings her left arm up and across your pelvis, pinning you done into place to keep you still.

“Beg.” stern in tone but somehow still drenched in need for you as she removes her finger and waits.

“Momo, *please.* I *need* to feel you insi-”

Before you could even finish the sentence, her fingers spread your folds apart and her tongue dips into you.

One.

Two.

Three times, before returning back to gradually circling your clit, her lips visibly coated in your essence and her eyes hungry for more.

Bringing her finger back to where you wanted it, she slowly glides it inside of you and presses up against your G-spot while gently building up the pace of her tongue around your most sensitive area.

“*Momo… oh, fuck..uhngh”* moaning for her and only for her, you would be happy to exist in this context for as long as possible but you need and wanted more.

Leaning up on your elbows, she sees you look at her and makes half lidded eye contact with you while her tongue does all the talking. Allowing her to taste you for a moment longer before you slip a hand under her chin and detach her mouth from you.

Momo reaches over to her camera without removing her finger from inside you. Turning it on with one hand and angling herself for the perfect shot, her thumb graces over you lightly, causing you to squirm.

“Is this okay?” Before focusing the camera on your body.

Nodding your head, you spread your legs wider for her so she can get the full image of how your body reacts to her.

A few clicks and she turns her camera off, placing it back where it was on the bed and tries to lean back into you.

You had other plans.

Taking her finger out of you, she has the look of confusion on her face. Lifting her finger up to your mouth, you suck your own slick off of it and pull her fully into the trunk.

“Close the door.” quietly and seductively, you hand other plans for her.

Already so weak for you that she immediately does what she’s told, you smile and cock an eyebrow at her, wondering how far you could get her to go with such requests.

“Take your pants off.” orders given and followed, she strips her pants off quickly, leaving her in a black thong.

Watching and she tugs on her black stringed waist band, you can see a string of her slick attached to the fabric and she removes it.

Clenching at the sight of her being just as aroused as you, you’re quick to maneuver yourself to sit on her thighs and wrap your legs around her.

Dripping onto her legs from how badly you want her, she smirks at you before her hand descends and returns to your pussy, thrusting two fingers in this time and pressing upwards.

Hissing out of pure pleasure, you drape one arm around her neck and the other slips between her legs so you can rub her clit while she’s inside you.

Eye contact between your mutual grunts of pleasure rattle the car windows, feeling the suspensions bouncing and help you with the rocking of your own hips, you bring your face so close to hers - noses touching and rubbing against each other before you bring your hand to the back of her head and pull her into you for an open mouthed kiss.

Being able to taste yourself off her tongue sent you reeling, moaning into her mouth while her free hand trails up your sides and slithers over to your stomach before ascending up to your neck, wrapping her fingers around your throat and gripping it tightly.

“Such a slut for me…” growling into your mouth as you gasp against her lips.

“Look how fucking wet you got when I started choking you…would you drip this way if I tied your hands behind your back too?”

*Oh fuck.*

Her fingers are moving faster now, palm against your clit as you buck your hips into her creating a mess of her entire hand and her legs beneath you.

Barely even cognoscente from the knot rapidly building in your stomach, you slip two fingers into her and begin giving her the same speed and pressure she was giving to you.

Momo’s moans did you under, the gratification of her losing her “mean domme” demeanor by your touch was enough to put you right at the edge.

All you needed was a little push.

Clenching around her fingers, moaning into her with your fingers tangle in her hair and soaked from her pussy - you whimper at her and she knows.

“Is my good girl going to- *fuck, baby -*cum for me?” fingers picking up momentum when she feels her own climax creeping up on her.

Nodding your head before placing your face into her neck and biting down hard as you release all the tension that had built up in the few days that you spent with her, coming completely undone around her fingers.

The bite from you has her blissed out while your fingers piston haphazardly inside her, you clenching around her fingers and moaning into her causes Momo’s own ecstasy to drown her in a paradise that she had never felt before.

Both of you riding out your own orgasms on each other’s fingers, thrusting your hips into each other and causing the car to rock back and forth rhythmically.

Both of you slowing down your movements and sharing a few soft pecks, she lays down flat on her back with you on top of her - both of you panting and gasping for air.

Tucking a piece of your hair behind your ear, she kisses you again before removing her fingers from you and slipping her pants back on but remaining shirtless while you just held each other for a while and enjoyed the moment.

“So…what happens when we get back?” there’s fear in Momo’s voice when the question slips between her teeth.

“What do you mean?” brows furrowed like you weren’t naked in the back of her SUV after having fucked in the middle of no where.

“I mean…I don’t know, are you looking for something with this?” voice shaking and reminding you of earlier, the nervousness of rejection is very loud in her.

“I mean…are you?”

“With you, yes.” no hesitation on her end at all.

Smiling at her, you sit up and tug her with you.

“Momo…”

“Yeah?”

“Do you want to be my girlfriend?”

“Oh…I uhm….yes.”

Tackling her to the floor and peppering her face with kisses - you didn’t even need to think about what you wanted - her.

Giggling at your actions, you both sigh and just lay with each other for another moment.

“Not to break this lovely moment we are having, but what time is check out?” sitting up and throwing your shirt on to cover up, leaning down to kiss your cheek before opening the door.

“Uhm….noon, I think?” rolling over and grabbing the hoodie you had been using as a pillow and tossing it on before slipping your own bottoms back on.

“Okay, I’ll start packing up.” grabbing the stuff she brought to cook with and packing it away in the bag she must have brought them in.

“Hey Momo?”

“Yeah?”

“Would you…want to stay the night at my house tonight?” eyes shifting as you ask from sheer nervousness.

Already having spent so much time together this weekend, you weren’t really ready to separate just yet. You truly hoped she would share that sentiment.

Momo places the bag of cooking equipment into the truck, walks over to you and faces you. Grabbing your hands and raising them up to kiss your knuckles and then your lips and smiles.

“I would love to…plus I want to know what happened between Tzuyu and Chaeyoung this weekend, Chae’s got the biggest crush on her so hopefully it went well.”

“No way…Tzuyu has been crushing on Chae the entire year!” exclaimed as you started gathering the chairs and moving the left over wood to the back of the campsite for another camper to use when they arrived.

“Seriously?!” gasped at the statement you just made.

“Yes!”

“Well we better pick up a bottle of wine before we get back to your house then!” grabbing the bag of trash you had compiled over the weekend and bringing it to the SUV so you could dispose of it before leaving.

Hopping in the car after packing everything up, you start the drive home with your new girlfriend, hand in hand. The two hour ride felt like 10 minutes, just talking about life and classes, the project and how you both wanted to set everything up for it.

Looking over at her as she pulls into your complex, you realize how excited you are about this new phase of life you’re about to embark on, with her intertwined in all aspects.

Who knew that this unexpected weekend would turn out to be something so absolutely pleasant.

[love-bitesx]

im word vomiting my headcanon list and id love to hear what you think!

*hobie gifting things that he finds to his partner like a crow. i can imagine they'd just randomly turn up, either on a desk or like they'll just find it in their bag or pocket, or that he'd just walk of and just hand it to them with no word *hobie fell for his partner hard, though he kept it pretty well hidden from everyone except pav starts calling his 'loverboy', eventually the nickname catches on to the point his future partner starts using it as well(either b/c they like it and thay're oblivious or they know exactly whats going on and are teasing him about it) *loves playful banter *nicknames for daaaaaays with his partner *hobie getting serious with a partner would be him gifting them something important, first thoughts are either a guitar pick of his or one of his favorite rings (its the most worn one he has, a simple metal one that you can literally feel the love thats gone into it. somehow it fits his partners finger perfectly)



i may be back with more, until then i salute you!

i agree with ur hc’s so much!! this is how i hc & tend to write hobie so, 100%! pls don’t hesitate if u think of anymore hehe

i’d love to expand! ~

- giving you gifts, to him, is like the ideal expression of love.

- because basically all of them are stolen, it’s a combination of his favourite things; stealing from big corporations, and seeing the beaming, heart-warming smile on your face when you open your bag and see a tiny trinket wrapped in newspaper.

- everytime you would come home, you’d find a new little addition to the house somewhere – notably: necklaces, rings, tiny ceramic statues or wooden decorations, pens, music (cd’s, vinyls, etc.) – especially if he’s been to camden market that day, his pockets would be full for you.

- when he started to fall for you, he low-key thought he was coming down with the flu.

- whenever you were around, his heart would flutter, his head dizzy and palms sweating – he considered getting medicine, until pavitr pointed something out.

- “how are you, loverboy?”

- “eh? you talking to me, pav?”

- “of course, hobie! little loverboy”

- “did you hit your head, bro?”

- pavitr would explain that he’d noticed hobie’s eyes glued to you whenever you spoke, hanging onto every word like gospel, and the way he flustered when you touched him, how he’d do anything in his power to be in your personal space.

- “shit.”

- “no! this is a good thing, my friend! love is the most bea—”

- “shit.”

- days went past of hobie avoiding you, he’d never been in love before, and it was scary to him

- his brain was only thinking of you, and he hated that he liked it. he hated that he wished for every thought to be of you.

- and he hated that he could see your body deflate when he avoided you, hated that your eyes looked sad when he turned away

- he hated that he liked loving you

- until, you caught him on his own one day, he was minding his business, relaxing on his lonesome whilst the others hung out in different dimensions.

- “hey, loverboy”

- a deer in headlights wouldn’t even come close to the shock on his face

- “loverboy?”

- loverboy? you were calling him loverboy?

- “yeah, loverboy, that’s you, isn’t it?”

- in all fairness, you were completely oblivious to the reason behind it – pav had simply just started calling him it when hobie wasn’t around, and it stuck

- “i-i guess so”

- clearing his throat, he willed his confidence back to the surface

- “you can call me anything you want, sweetheart”

- it wasn’t long before you were together, a gentle, but spontaneous kiss after a particularly dangerous mission one day sealing the deal between you both

- he was obsessed with you

- now he could be obvious about his feelings, he took that and ran with it

- his arm was essentially glued to your side, or over your shoulders, or anywhere where he could pull you in close to him

- he’d grab you by the belt buckles, dragging you towards him and welcoming you with a soft peck on the lips

- even in public, almost especially in public

- always have his hands in your back pockets, he says he hates the cliché-ness of it but he likes that he can hold you close whilst respecting your personal space – and he can feel your ass, but he doesn’t admit that outloud

- THE NICKNAMES.

- THE. NICKNAMES.

- this man is born and bred british, and over here we use nicknames more than actual names

- darling, sweetheart, love, lovely, all of those AND more are natural to him, anyway

- but he adds a special little “my” before them all now, now that you actually are his, and so “my darling”, “my love”, etc. are like a second name to you

- in bed, the nicknames would be even better, but i’ll leave that to your imagination…

- when things started getting a little serious, you’d been dating for months, all your friends and colleagues knew about him, your family as well (if you decide to tell them)

- you’re relaxing in hobie’s dimension, laying on his bed with your head on his shoulder, reading a book whilst he strums at his guitar softly. he’s humming a song you don’t recognise, but the sound of his deep melody was enough to lull you.

- “hey, love?”

- you hum in response

- “i wanna give you something.”

- sitting you up, he’d lay his guitar down and face you, grabbing your hand and bringing it to him

- “what are you—”

- he’d fiddle with his own hands for a second, before twisting his favourite ring off his index finger

- “here.”

- “hobie, are you—”

- “i’m not proposing, don’t worry. weddings are just a social nuisance that give us one more way to control each other. no. this is better.”

- you tilt your head and watch him, as he slides his ring onto your middle finger

- “it’s just a promise.”

- “a promise?”

- “a promise that i love you, and that i’m yours, innit.”

- “oh, hobie.”

- you cry a tiny bit

- and he hugs you tightly, kissing your forehead

- that’s when he knew it was serious with you, not only because of how he was so obsessed with you, and his heart melted at your touch, but because when he saw you with the ring on, his ring, his person, it just felt right. he didn’t ever wanna see you without it, or without him.

- “hey, hobie, did you mean what you said about marriage? you don’t wanna marry me one day?”

- “hey, i said i hate weddings. nothing about marriage. not if we do it our own way, you know?”

i love him so much. also pls stick around, couple of one shots & fics will be out this week!!! sorry they’re taking ages hehe

[piggybennet]

Since my panties don't fit anymore I got this new bad boys 😌💞. Took me a while to find my size though 😂. But yeah I found them haha.

Thick thighs for daaaaaays 💚

And what do you guys thinks there room for more growth on my tummy right,? 🌚🌚

[ticklygiggles]

Titillatio | Xiao x Aether

A/N: Happy birthday to my birthday twin @eliankrios! I hope you have the loveliest of days, Elian! I'm happy to be friends with you ❤️❤️❤️ *boop paw* I hope you enjoy these babies and I hope they're not too ooc! Enjoy your daaaaaay 💕💕💕💕💕

Summary: Xiao rediscovers something he had long forgotten.

Words: 2k

Xiao never thought that a kiss could make him feel so many things: butterflies fluttering from his throat to his lower belly. In his mouth, the taste of the other person was sweet against his tongue and made him feel light in the head, as if he had drunk too much alcohol. His hands trembled and he always tried to hold on to something so the other wouldn't notice. His knees were weak, as if they were going to fail him at any moment; and a strange heat gathered in his insides and spread to his neck, traveling to his cheeks and ears, making them turn as red as an apple. 

His mind went blank, any thoughts that could have been floating around in his head vanished, and he could only focus on the tingling he felt on his lips and the burning pain at the edges of his lungs due to lack of air… but now that he thought about it, maybe it wasn't the kiss itself, but the person who seemed to be trying to devour his lips every time. 

“Aether-!” He gasped, his hands on Aether's shoulders, pulling him closer instead of pushing him away. 

The traveler had his arms around his waist, pressing him against his warm body while he kissed Xiao desperately and frantically. Xiao could barely keep up with him; Aether's tongue writhed inside his mouth, tickling the roof of his mouth as he seemed to try to suck on Xiao's tongue. Xiao couldn't deny that, although he felt a little dizzy from lack of air, he had missed Aether's kisses deeply. 

The traveler had been away from Liyue for a long time, and even when he returned, Xiao could not meet him right away, as he was busy doing things that a yaksha had to do. Their meeting had happened no more than ten minutes ago, but as soon as they exchanged glances, their bodies were already pressed against each other. 

However, Aether really seemed hungry for Xiao. It was no longer enough for him to just kiss Xiao's mouth, Aether's kisses moved down his jaw, seeking the warmth of his neck to sink his teeth in. 

“A-Aether, h-hold on. Someone will- haa!” 

It was useless, Aether simply wasn't listening and Xiao's nervousness only increased when he felt one of Aether's hands sneaking under the hem of his skin-tight shirt, the other finding that opening on the upper part of his back. Gentle fingertips followed the edge of his shoulder blades, making him gasp and squirm. Aether touched Xiao's skin lighty, tenderly, just like a feather. His soft fingers brushed against the curve on his lower back and something fuzzy started to build in Xaio’s throat. 

“Tra-Traveler! You're n-not listening to me, I really- ack?! W-Wahait! That spot-!” 

Before he could stop himself, an airy giggle escaped his lips and they both stood still. Aether finally deigned to lift his face from Xiao's blushing neck and Xiao quickly found his golden eyes, his own wide open. 

“Wha- what did you just do?” He asked, feeling that almost uncomfortable sensation near his side that made him want to scratch the spot. 

His eyes danced from left to right, looking into Aether's, and something funny rose in his stomach when he noticed a glint of playful malice in Aether's amber pupils. 

“Are you ticklish Xiao?” A mischievous smile spread across Aether's lips and Xiao frowned.

“Ticklish?” He said the word slowly, as if savoring each letter and listening to how the two syllables sounded together. It was a funny word, if he had to admit it. “What is ‘ticklish’?” 

His question only made Aether's smile widen even more and Xiao jumped slightly when Aether's warm hands closed on his waist, making him blush even more. His own hands closed around Aether's wrists and he made an absurd attempt to push those hands away from his body. Aether giggled sweetly and that was enough to distract Xiao and let out a laugh when Aether squeezed his waist. Every hair on his body stood up as he felt that sensation run through him like electric shocks. Even though he really didn't want to, his hands pushed Aether's wrists away from his body and he looked at him with his eyes wide open and his lips trembling with a silly little smile. 

“Aether… what are you doing right now- no! N-Nohoho!” 

Xiao didn't know how, but Aether had broken free of his grip and his hands latched onto his waist again and he let out embarrassed and uncontrollable giggles as the traveler squeezed the spot over and over. The sensation made Xiao want to crawl out of his skin, those fingers woke up his nerve endings in a weird way, and Xiao couldn't make it stop. 

He wasn't sure he had ever felt this kind of sensation in his many years of existence. He was almost sure that he would remember this feeling, and yet, there was some feeling of longing swirling in his chest the more Aether did this… ‘ticklish’ thing on him. It was as if a part of his memory was under a haze, and he certainly couldn't concentrate with Aether's fingers running up his sides until they reached his ribs. 

Xiao's giggles turned into more panicked laughter and his knees could no longer support his weight and squirming. He fell into the grass beneath him and Aether followed him, still making him laugh out of his mind as he straddled Xiao's waist. Aether's fingers gently but firmly dug into each of his ribs and a second later, he felt the tips of his fingers vibrating between the spaces of each bone. 

Xiao threw his head back and his body shook with the force of his laugh. He desperately gripped Aether's arms, but he felt powerless, his strength had been drained from his body and he could only shriek between laughter what he thought Aether was doing to him: 

“W-Witchcrahahaft!” 

Aether laughed so hard, he actually had to stop tickling Xiao to hold onto his tummy. “This is not witchcraft! I'm just tickling you, Xiao!” 

Didn't he say ‘ticklish’ earlier? Xiao shook his head, breathless. He tried to crawl away, but Aether giggled and grabbed him by the hips, dragging him back and sitting on his lower back. Xiao groaned and laughter poured from his lips again when the tickling started once more, this time Aether's fingers wiggling against his lower back and the window of his shirt. Xiao cackled, arching back and clawing at the ground, trying, in vain, to escape this torment. 

Should he call it torment? It really wasn't that bad. The feeling was overwhelming, it numbed his brain and he felt like lightning was rushing through his body with every touch, also his laughter was embarrassingly loud and his tummy and sides were starting to hurt. However, Xiao couldn't say that he was hating it, on the contrary, he was ashamed to admit it to himself, but he was having fun. Although his stomach and sides hurt, it wasn't because of the force that Aether was tickling him with, his fingers were light and skillful, touching places that he didn't know could make him squeal and cackle like that. 

It was also nice to hear Aether giggling along him, his laughter was light and happy, like an excited child. To think just a couple of minutes ago he was almost eating him alive. 

“How come I didn't know you are so ticklish, Xiao? Hmm? Tell me please.”

“I cahaHAHAn’t!” 

He really couldn't. If he dared to speak, he felt like he was going to choke with his own laughter, besides, he really couldn't form any coherent thought at that moment.

“Your back is very ticklish,” Aether giggled and Xiao felt alarmed. There was something in Aether's voice, a tone that made him feel terribly nervous. “I wonder if you're also very ticklish here?” 

The sound that escaped from Xiao's mouth did not sound like him, in fact, he had no idea that he was capable of screeching like that, but when Aether pushed his warm hands under his arms and his fingers started to wiggle against his armpits– he just couldn't control himself. 

Sweet yet hysterical laughter bloomed past his lips. That maddening sensation felt incredibly intense, and Xiao could only laugh and laugh as his body became useless, his arms glued to his sides in a futile attempt to make the tickling stop or at least, slow down, but it had the opposite effect, for Aether's hands had been trapped and he moved his fingers incessantly. 

“Ah, I think I found your most ticklish spot, Xiao!” Aether chuckled above him, speaking fondly. “Your laughter is so cute! I want to listen to more!” 

‘Your laughter is so cute… I want to listen to more.’ 

Oh, now he remembered. As Aether's fingers dug under his arms, a memory came to Xiao's mind: the eldest and leader of the Yakshas, Bosacius, holding both Xiao's wrists with two pair of hands while the other pair nestled into his exposed underarms, tickling him until Xiao was crying with hysterical laughter. Xiao could hear Bosacius' voice teasing him while he mercilessly tickled his armpits, his boisterous laughter almost louder than Xiao's. Xiao remembered looking at his bright smiles and shining eyes through his teary sight. Bosacius was happy and so was Xiao. 

A wave of warmth flooded his chest and as he laughed wildly, he finally was able to remember just what this whole thing was. 

“Tihihitillahahatio!” 

“What?”

“This ihihis, eek, t-tihihitilahatio!” 

The tickling slowly came to a stop and Xiao went limp onto the soft grass, breathing heavily and feeling little tears falling down the side of his face. A silly smile pulled at the corners of his lips and he giggled brightly when Aether started poking his back and sides, causing him to roll on his back again. 

“What is titillatio, Xiao?” Aether asked, his head tilted to the side like a confused bird. Xiao's eyes looked at Aether fondly, his fingers gently brushing the other's flushed cheek. Aether nuzzled into his hand like a kitten and Xiao smiled warmly.

“Titillatio is… tickling, I guess. That was the name years ago.” Centuries ago. “I didn't know the name had changed. It had been a long while since titilatio was done to me.” 

Xiao didn't even remember the feeling, let alone the name. He had spent so many years alone, there was no way his mind was busy remembering insignificant things like that; there was also the issue of erosion in the mind… but be tried to ignore that as much as possible. 

Lost in his thoughts, he barely noticed Aether was looking at him intently and frowning. “Was that person… your partner?*

Xiao blinked a couple of times, astonished. Did he hear correctly? “What?” 

Xiao raised his eyebrows when Aether rolled his eyes. “The person that tickled you in the past! Were they your partner?” 

“What? N-No, of course not. It was just- wait… are you mad about it?” Aether looked away. “Oh, are you jealous?”

Xiao had learned about jealousy the hard way, he now recognized the emotion even in other people and to his eyes, Aether seemed really jealous at that moment. The blonde blushed up to his ears and crossed his arms over his chest, avoiding Xiao's gaze at all costs. He really was jealous, huh? 

Xiao chuckled, his hands gently holding Aether's bare waist. “Didn't you say jealousy is bad?” 

Aether made an indignant sound and Xiao let out a soft chuckle through his teeth. Feeling a weird wave of playfulness rushing through him, Xiao quickly changed their positions. It was adorably funny to see Aether's confused expression turn into one of pure laughter as Xiao started to pinch and prod his exposed waist. 

“X-Xiahaho! Dohohon't!” 

Xiao smiled lovingly, thumbs rubbing against the sides of Aether's tummy. The traveler giggled and laughed and squirmed under him and Xiao understood why people liked to tickle others. It was fun to see another laughing because of your gentle touch and if that person was Aether, it was all even better.

“I'm nohohot jehehealous! I prohohomise!” Despite his pleading, Aether didn't seem to do much to make Xiao stop.

“I do believe you're not jealous.” That was a lie. “But I actually have never tried doing titillatio to someone. How is that? Do you like it?” Aether threw his head back with bright giggles and Xiao couldn't help but also chuckle. “Am I doing it right?” 

“S-Stohohop teheasing meHE!”

Xiao laughed. Genuinely laughed. He had spent so many years alone, he had forgotten how good it felt to be with someone as kind and bright as Aether. He got to experiment a lot for the first time: having a partner, kisses, jealousy. Tickling... Even love.

Xiao smiled warmly down at Aether's laughing face, his hands weakly pawing at Xiao's hands. All those years of loneliness... perhaps they were just a small punishment to be able to enjoy the happy company of this wonderful traveler.

"You want me to tickle you more?"

"Noho! I'm s-sohohorry!"

Yes, this definitely was his reward.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ELIAN! 🎂🎈🎉🥳

[thenyoumightaswellwrestleangels]

Is it death who comes knocking? (is it a curse to always know?)

Day 1 of The Long Halloween - event masterlist here

pairing: damian wayne x reader (gender neutral)

length: 7.5k

genre: horror, fluff kinda, hurt/comfort

warnings: mothman damian, crime scenes, lots of vague / symbolic mentions of death, this is kinda a monsterfucker fic but it's sfw as always, reader gets a little stressy a little hysterical

a/n: daaaaaay one I hope we all like it <3 kiss kiss enjoy

"What are you staring at? Come on, move along -"

"What, am I not allowed to gawk?" you snap, making the young police officer in front of you freeze and blink owlishly. "God knows everyone else is." He glances around at your words, letting his eyes flick frantically over the growing crowds that surround the crime scene as the police lights bathe their stricken faces in red, then blue, and then red again.

The officer keeps speaking, trying his best to bark orders and demand that everyone move along and find something else to do other than stand and stare and poke around a crime scene. But you're not particularly listening anymore. Your head, instead, tips back so that you can look up at the night sky and the towering buildings of Gotham.

A shadow flickers somewhere overhead, as black as the darkened sky. You wonder, for just a moment, if it's him.

The Mothman.

"Go on, really," the officer's defeated sigh makes you snap your head back down to look at him. He arches a brow wearily and, after glancing around to confirm that most of the crowd is still gathered, you narrow your eyes at him. "Get lost."

"I'm just standing here," you press. "Just like everybody else."

"No," he crossed his arms. "I've seen you before. Anytime, anywhere some freak accident happens, anytime somebody dies, you're always here, nosing around." You take a step back at his words, pressing your lips together in annoyance. "Maybe," he says pointedly. "Maybe we should bring you in for questioning."

"For a freak accident?" you quip back. "Incredible use of police resources." You hope that he doesn't notice the way that you sweat at his comment, hope that he can't see the way that your heart hammers and lurches as you spin on your heel and march away, knocking shoulders with people in the crowd.

You hope that he can't see the flickering shadow overhead, and hear the faint sound of wings beating over the breeze.

The Mothman. 

If you ask anyone, he's a myth, a scary story that you tell when you're out in the dark with your friends and you want to give them a good fright.

He's the omen of death, it's believed, and if you see him, you're sure to die. When tragedy is about to strike, when death is about to reign down, the Mothman will appear on the scene, dark and wild and ready to see it through.

As you begin the long walk back to your apartment, you shove your hands into your pockets to ward off the oncoming chill of night, watching as your breath fogs out in front of your face. Flashes of the crime scene that you'd just left play over and over in your mind, the accident and the death and the Mothman, large and looming and deadly as he stares. 

You were so sure… you were so sure that this time, you'd get there quick enough, that this time you'd stop him from killing again. 

You go to step out onto a crosswalk, but an oncoming car honks and the sound makes you jerk back as you blink, stepping back onto the safety of the sidewalk as you shake your head and squeeze your eyes shut.

As if it will help.

As if anything will make you stop seeing the things that you see.

They're visions, you suppose - nightmares of the creature and his killings, vivid, painful flashes and glimpses of the myth and the havoc that he wreaks. 

But the nightmares keep coming true and there's nothing that you can do to stop them. There is never anything that you can do to stop them. You're always just a bit too late, just a minute too slow.

It's crazy, you tell yourself. It's a coincidence. But you keep your lips pressed firmly together, even now as you cautiously peer both ways before hastening across the busy Gotham streets, your feet surer and quicker than the rest of you has ever been. You keep your mouth shut, because the threat of being thrown somewhere like Arkham is too real and terrifying for you to do anything other than spend your days scrambling, running and running and running and falling just short of anything.

You keep your mouth shut, even at night when the visions creep up and you find yourself plagued with images of things that haven't happened yet - deaths that are soon to occur.

And in every one of these visions, it's the Mothman who appears to carry out the killing. You're sure of it. It's always him.

As you step back into your apartment, flicking on the dull, yellow-hued light and standing in the silent entryway with windswept hair and frozen fingers, you think that surely… surely next time you'll get there fast enough. Next time you'll save a life.

But when you wake the next morning, there have been no visions. No twisting and turning agony, no spiralling panic and gasping, sweating fear. There's just… nothing. 

And when you wake the next day, there's nothing. 

And the day after that, and after that, and after that. Just… nothing. You think, sort of hesitantly, like a prey animal spotting food in a trap, that perhaps you've found some sort of freedom. Perhaps you've found a way out.

But then you wake, one day, when the sun is just barely cresting over the horizon and beginning to spill golden light onto the twisted, frantic city below, and your heart hammers in your chest as your lungs burn. Images of the dreams that you'd had, of the twisted visions that haunted you come to the surface, flashing through your mind over and over and -

And you grip your blanket with one hand while the other flies over your mouth so that you can muffle your own panicked breathing, so that you can smother any sound that you make. 

Because this vision was different. This time… this time you saw him, with clawed hands and feathered wings, climbing through your open window and stepping onto your faded, wooden floors. This time, the Mothman is in your home, and he is going to come to kill you, you're sure.

It's a panicked sort of thing, the way that you rip the blankets off of your frame so that you can launch out of bed and stumble into your living room to reach for the open window. You think frantically back to the visions and remember only the window, wide open like a maw, and spilled water on the hardwood floor, as if something was knocked over on his way in.

This has to be the window, you think to yourself as you slam it shut, locking the latch roughly. This has to be it, you think as you glance at the vase of flowers on the window ledge, the water reflecting the early morning light and shining through the glass.

And then surely, you think as you step back, twisting your hands nervously in front of you, surely he can't get in. Surely death cannot come for me today.

But perhaps you should've learned, by now, that not even you can stop death.

The way that you creep back to your bedroom is careful, and you stop in every other room to close and latch the windows shut - just as a precaution, just as a final safeguard.

The tension that sits in your shoulders and keeps your body taut has begun to ease a bit, and you've begun to feel like you can breathe again for the first time all morning, when you step back into the doorway of your bedroom.

That's when you see it. Your bedroom window has been opened, and the glass of water on your nightstand, right next to the window, has been knocked over, spilling onto the hardwood floor.

So it's then that you realize… you'd gotten the window wrong. He slinks through the shadows, you know, only appearing right before the death. If you'd just stayed in your room… he never would've just climbed into your home right in front of you.

Your hands begin to tremble and your breath freezes in your lungs as you realize that you only thought that you were closing him out, while you were really just letting him in.

And then it really hits you. 

There's something in your home, and it's here to kill you. 

You stand, frozen, your breath stuttering in and out as you stare at the open window and the cool morning breeze that wafts in, blowing your curtains out into billowing waves. You stand and you wait and you consider all of the places he could be hiding, all of the ways that he could climb out of the shadows and drain the life from you.

But time ticks by… seconds into minutes and nothing… happens. There's no sight of him, no noise of him. It's like he's not even really there. You begin to think, in a rather hysterical sort of way, that perhaps you really have just gone crazy, perhaps there's never been anything here at all. 

When your doorbell rings and the sound echoes shrilly through your home, it's enough to make you jump, your heart clenching painfully as you spin around to peer down your hallway and eye your front door. It's not real, you think. He's not real. You go to step out of your bedroom, chanting the mantra over and over in your head, but it's not quite loud enough to distract from the noise that can be heard from somewhere behind you - a rustling, soft sort of thing. 

By the time you've spun around to face the window again, it's been… shut. The window's shut and your glass is placed carefully back in its rightful place on your nightstand. And you swear… you swear that you see a blur of bluish-black feathers zipping away out of the corner of your eye.

The days begin to crawl on after that, the city curling in on itself and crushing you in a way that it never has before. You start sleeping with your windows locked, of course, circling the interior of your home day after day to make sure that every latch is secure and every curtain is drawn. But try as you might, there is nowhere for you to run from the visions, and they morph into spiralling images of his large, clawed hands tapping and scraping at the glass of your windows, begging to be let in. 

"Look, you really can't be here," the officer's voice is dull in your mind, somewhere far off and vacant.

"Hm?" you acknowledge as you crane your neck to look past him, staring at the yellow tape circling the newest crime scene in a tangled maze-like pattern. 

"Just… go home. You shouldn't see this. No one should." That makes you pause, makes you look at the officer and blink and stare until he sighs and wanders off.

No one should have to see this, you think, his words ringing through your mind. But you do see it, nonetheless. 

Go home, he says, the weight of it all echoing through you. How could you? When the Mothman haunts your dreams and threatens to claw his way into your home at night? You see it still, every time that you close your eyes  - countless swirling images of him in your apartment. They confuse you, and it makes you groan and rub your temples with your fingers as the officer glances back at you where you stand on the sidewalk, ever the onlooker, ever the bystander.

This accident… you'd seen this one too, of course. And you'd seen him, the Mothman. It's the same every time. He appears in your visions, looming like a towering symbol, and then someone dies. Every time. Every time except…

You clear your throat, rubbing a hand over the back of your neck as you stare out through the city, the moon beginning to arch high in the night sky as stars blink in and out overhead. 

These visions of the two of you are different. He never kills you, he never hurts you. He comes into your home, time and time again, but it's… gentle. A vicious, clawed hand smoothing delicately over your cheek. Lips pressed against your forehead. His wings wrapping around you as he pulls you close. The two of you in your bed and he -

A car honks somewhere near you, another one of Gotham's near-constant scuffles as tires swerve down the darkened, busy street. It's enough to make you jump, though, ripping you from the daydream that you'd found yourself in.

"Are you alright?"

"What?" you snap, flinching as you find the young officer standing next to you again.

"You look flushed," he points out. "It's like - are you blushing?"

"No!" you all but shout. "I'm going home." He might have responded to you, then. He may have shouted after you, some comment about how that's what he's been trying to get you to do the whole time. But you're not listening, too busy stomping away as images of the hulking, feathered creature plague your mind.

It's that night, of course, that you get a new vision. It's just as confusing as they always are, a tangled mess of images and objects jumbling together in your mind. You catch glimpses of your window - and you're sure that it really is the living room now. You see his clawed, feathered hand slamming against the glass of a window pane. You see the broken shards and the opening that's left behind. You see… a trail of blood on some of the sharp edges and you know that it must be yours.

Fortunately, it's Gotham, so it's not really out of the ordinary to want to install metal bars on your window. When you stumble out of bed just as the sun is beginning to climb up beyond the impossible wall of fog, it's with the intent of sealing your apartment off, closing your home off from the outside world. 

The city outside has begun to crush you, and you realize it, in a far-off, unfazed kind of way, when you begin installing bars onto the windows in your home. It's a cursed, entangled sort of place, and you can feel it start to ensnare you, getting tighter and tighter and tighter. 

First, it's your bedroom that's sealed off, then your kitchen, then your bathroom. One by one, every opening that you have to something beyond yourself is closed off, shut out, put away, until it's nothing but you and the nightfall and the large, looming presence of your living room window.

Easy to buy, yes, but difficult to install, you realize, as you struggle to wield the hefty metal. It shouldn't be a surprise, really, that one of the bars slips from your grasp and topples into the window. You should've seen it coming, you think ruefully, as you lunge to catch it just a moment too late, watching as it shatters through the glass, instead. 

But there's a panic in you now, as the cold night air comes swirling into your home, the window now a gaping maw letting in the city outside and below. You scramble a bit, the alarm of it all making you hazy as you reach for the metal bar, missing it to instead cut your palm on the broken glass of the window. 

You find yourself reeling, then, as you stare at the jagged edge that's now glistening with your blood, as you look down to your palm, oozing red and dripping down your arm and onto your floor, and you realize that this is what you'd seen in your vision.

But it's then that you hear it - that eerie, familiar tapping and scratching at the glass. The air freezes a bit more, it feels, as your breath catches in your lungs and your heart stutters. There's a part of you that thinks that perhaps, if you don't look up, it won't be real.

So it's against your better judgement, then, that you lift your head in a slow, shaky movement, letting your eyes trail up and up and up until -

Until you're faced with a huge, feathered hand, blackened claws curling around the broken glass and reaching into your home from the opening that you'd created. Night has truly fallen outside, rendering the world invisible as it's shrouded in darkness. You can't see him, can't make out anything other than the hand stretching out from the impossibly endless night. 

But the lamp on your living room end table flickers out a dull, yellow light, illuminating your figure for him. You may not be able to see him, but he can see you, and he reaches with a sharp, curling movement toward you. 

It hits you again, in that moment, terrified as you are. In all of your efforts to keep him away, you've let the Mothman right into your home. The further you pushed, the clearer the way in became.

There's some sort of commotion on the road below, then, it seems - some kind of accident, most likely, as there are shouts and honking horns and screeching tires. The noise of it all jerks you into action, makes you jerk back and stumble away as blood drips down your arm and your vision swims with panic. 

But it makes the Mothman startle, too, it would appear, as he pulls his arm back to slam his hand against the glass, just like he had in your vision. By the time you've scrambled forward to stare out the window, he's just… gone. 

You peer down towards the street from your window and see some sort of situation on the road below, people already gathered around what you're sure has to be a body lying on the sidewalk as police sirens wail in the distance.

It hits you, then, like a cold, dead hand clamping down on your heart. You brought the Mothman here. You gave him a reason to be here, and surely he's killed again right here because of you. The thought makes your knees buckle, and you slide down toward your floor until you're sitting on the cold hardwood as the epiphany of it all slams into you. 

No matter what you do, no matter where you go, he finds you. All of the effort that you're putting into keeping him away, all of the walls you're building up and the defences that you're crafting - you seem to actually just be bringing him closer. Somehow, in this twisted, tangled city, you've found a way to spiral around each other endlessly, your hands around each other's throats and doom carved into each other's hearts.

Instead of you haunting him, he's haunting you, now. You can't fight it. You can't stop it. You can't change fate. So you decide, as you sit on your floor with your palm oozing blood and the sounds of Gotham's chaos rolling in through your broken window - you decide, then, that you'll just run away. Surely, you think. Surely, there's only so far that he can chase you. 

"Look, really, are you alright?" the officer speaking to you squints at you a bit, eyeing you through the haze of dusk as the sun sets on another accident, another crime scene, another death. "Are you… ok?" 

You're trying to listen to him, really, you're trying to nod and smile and tell him that everything's fine. You want everything to be fine. But the problem is the vision that you'd woken up with, the one that had left you gasping and gripping your chest and tearing at your hair. 

It was a vision of him, of the young, green officer in front of you who'd spent these past months watching you spiral into nothing. You'd seen him, in vague, spinning flashes, getting into his car and driving home late into the night.

You'd seen the collision somewhere downtown, on one of the large main roads. You'd seen his car, crumpled and smoking as sirens wailed in the distance.

You'd seen him die, you're sure of it. 

"There's been an accident," you blurt out, and he raises his brows and glances around.

"Yes," he says slowly. "I know. That's… why we're here. You don't need to be, though."

"No, I -" you pause, searching frantically for something to say, some kind of lifeline to grab onto in this endless, gnawing place. "I mean - a different one. I hear that, uh, a couple of the main roads have been blocked off. Horrible traffic, it would take forever to get through."

"Oh," he says slowly, his hands a bit outstretched towards you, as if he's afraid that you'll suddenly keel over from whatever's afflicting you, whatever is giving you those shifting, panicked eyes and making you shuffle on your feet. "What, in this area?"

"Hm?"

"The accident," he reminds patiently.

"Yes!" you say, snapping your fingers. "Yea, uh, right… right up in, uh, that direction." He turns to follow your pointed finger, glancing down the street as you clear your throat and look at him expectantly.

"Huh," he says, a bit of understanding dawning on him. "Another Tim Drake problem, then."

"What?" 

"Drake. You know, he's that guy everyone around here talks about. More money than morals, works near here."

"I don't know what you're talking about," you say bluntly before you bite your tongue, cursing yourself as the shadows spiral overhead and the city leers at you, the buildings closing in around you. 

"That… must have been what the accident was about, right?" the officer continues, suspicion creeping back into his voice. "You know… you know they say he's trying to find a way to bring back the dead."

"Beg your pardon?" you ask weakly.

"Yea," he responds easily, and you can tell from the sigh in his voice that he doesn't actually believe it. They never do. "He's a real mad scientist."

"You can't," you falter. "That's impossible. What's dead… stays dead."

"Apparently not," he quips back, but at your ashen face and swaying posture, he places a gentle hand onto your shoulder. "Hey, I'm - I'm only joking. He just causes a lot of problems for us, is all."

"Right," you respond shortly, forcing out a laugh that has his concern growing. "It's just, uh, it's just a normal accident up there tonight. Car crash, I heard. You know."

"Hm," he shrugs, pulling his hand away from you to cross his arms over his chest. "Yea, there's a few too many of those these days."

"I just think that, uh," you continue on, your eyes darting around the street, glancing at the towering buildings that loom high up above you. You rub a hand over your forehead roughly when you catch, or you think you catch the flickering shadow of a wing out of the corner of your eye. "I just think that the bridge is a better route to take tonight. If, you know, you - I mean… it's - it's the way that I'll be going… because of, uh, the accident, remember?"

"No," he says gently, his voice slow and a bit halting as he watches you with concern. "I… I don't remember that, because I don't even know… well… uh, thank you. You, um, you be careful out there, alright? Get home safely."

"Hey," you laugh, a hysterical sort of thing as a shadow flashes overhead and you duck a bit. "You be careful, you know?"

"What?" he asks, the bewilderment creeping up on him a bit too much, the unease of it all crawling up his arms and beginning to wrap around his throat as the city curls inward and casts darkness onto the two of you and the sun dips far enough below the horizon that its precious light is lost once more. "No, I - do you need a ride home?"

"No!" you all but shout. "No, sorry, uh, no, my car is just parked around the corner… and I'm leaving now." You spin around at that, walking swiftly down the winding, cracked sidewalk until you find your car, all but ripping open the door to climb in as the officer watches, bewilderment and concern carved onto his face. 

You're not sure how long you sit in your car after that, your hands gripping the steering wheel as you place your forehead against your knuckles and force deep breaths in and out of your lungs. Time drips on and you see, out of the corner of your eye, the city continues to darken as night wears on and the crime scene is wrapped up, police leaving in flashes of blue and red and blue again. 

But you've done it this time, you're sure. You've been quicker, you've been smarter. You've cheated death of another victim - held back the Mothman, if only for a single night. 

It makes sense to you, of course, for you to take the bridge home, yourself. The threat of the Mothman is an ever-present weight bearing down on your shoulders and you can feel yourself scrambling, like a prey animal finally caught in a trap, to try to get away from him. With the memories of your visions still rolling through your mind endlessly, it feels only right to finally settle yourself in the driver's seat and begin to turn away, away from the main roads and the locations of your nightmares and the looming, hulking, shadow of the Mothman.

Surely, you think. Surely, this time, I'll rewrite fate just enough to make it matter. Surely, this time, something will change.

There's a sort of anguish in you, then, when you arrive at the bridge and have to slam on your brakes and bring your car to a screeching halt. It's a misery that burns you, that crawls up your throat and strangles you as the tangled web of the city closes in further. 

The police are already there, illuminating the depths of the night with their lights as they circle a car crash. It's a cop car, in fact, that's part of the collision, crumpled and smoking and warped under the endless darkness of night. 

And it's his car, that lovely young officer that you'd spoken to so many times. It's his licence plate, as clear as it had been in your visions. 

Sirens wail through the foggy air and water rushes under the bridge and your heart hammers so loudly that you swear to god it could beat out of your chest in a minute. 

Beyond the accident, beyond the cars and the police that swarm the scene, beyond the death that permeates the air and rots the ground beneath you… beyond all of that stands the Mothman, huge and terrifying and staring straight at you. 

No one else can see him, you assume - the idea that you'd toyed with for so long finally coming to life. No one can see him but you. He stands still, unmoving, unbreathing, unflinching, his feet solid on the dark asphalt as his wings spread so wide that they brush against the sides of the bridge.

He stands, like an omen of death, like a symbol of your neverending failures, and he stares at you with glowing, yellow, unblinking eyes. 

An officer knocks on your car window and you scream, a short, shrieking noise until you snap your head around to look at him and sigh. He says something as he shines his flashlight into your car, but you just shake your head and roll down the window.

"Pardon?" you ask, your voice cracking. You're not looking at him, though. Your eyes are still trained, instead, on the presence of the Mothman, the mass of black feathers and razor-sharp claws and bright, yellow eyes boring into you. 

"You've got to move along," the officer repeats. "We're trying to get the ambulances through here, those drivers need medical attention."

"Medical attention?" you all but shout, ripping your eyes away from the Mothman to stare at the cop who's leaning down to talk through your window. "They're alive?"

"Yes…" he says slowly. "It wasn't a terrible accident. But - please, we really need you to move along. If you need to cross the bridge, that's fine. Just go now and go quickly, will you?" When you look ahead of you again, the Mothman is still there, standing like a statue guarding the tightrope between life and death.

It doesn't make sense, you think as you roll up your window without another word, driving ever so slowly past the officer and across the bridge. It doesn't make sense. If he's not here to kill someone else, then who…

Your hands grip the steering wheel tightly enough that the leather creeks as you pass the scene of the accident, staring at the creature right ahead of you the entire time. You're going slowly, practically crawling over the bridge as the Mothman stares down at you, still unmoving. 

It's not until you're close enough to almost hit him that he finally shifts ever so slowly, stepping to the side so that he can watch as you drive past him. You don't look, of course, your breath stuttering as you keep your head facing forward, knowing that his yellow eyes are fixed on you as you drive past. When his wings, still outstretched and menacing, scrape their feathers across the side of your car, you suck in a shaky breath and wonder what it's like to die.

But nothing… happens. You drive on, over the bridge and away from the scene, and the Mothman simply stares, fixed in his spot, as you disappear down the winding, twisting road. Here, on the outskirts of Gotham, the large manor houses loom over you as the city retreats behind you and disappears in the thick, foggy night and the rolling tides of the water. It's greener here, trees sprouting up into forests in tangled, maze-like patterns, and there's something in you that makes you take a sharp turn, heading toward the woods. 

He's been following you, you know, trailing after you this entire time. You catch glimpses of him out of the corner of your eye as you drive, seeing the flicker of his shadow overhead, hearing the flutter of his feathered wings. It makes a sort of desperation begin to swirl in you, a panic begin to fester in your mind as you begin to drive into the shadowed forest.

When the trees are too densely packed for your car, you merely park and throw open your door, stumbling as you continue on foot. Any other time, any other person would say that this is crazy, that you're some poor, lost soul stumbling to their death, likely to freeze or starve somewhere in the woods after straying too far from home. 

But you've been far too lost for far too long to stop now, and running away, you're beginning to realize, might be all that you really know how to do. 

Perhaps you shouldn't be surprised, really, that you run directly into the creature, somewhere deep in the depths of this impossible forest. Perhaps coming face-to-face with him really was always going to happen, and none of the erratic twists and turns you took could have ever prevented it.

Perhaps, you think as he stands in front of you, huge and terrifying and dark as the night, his eyes shining in the haze, perhaps there is really nothing that you can do against fate.

You think that maybe you should run, maybe you should try endlessly to scramble away from this… to defy the inevitable. You're shifting on your feet, bracing yourself to bolt away from him, when he speaks, and the sound makes you freeze. 

"You cannot run from this any more than I can," he says clearly, and his voice is a low, smooth rumble. You stare at him, eyes wide as the air leaves your lungs in a punched-out gasp, and he continues. "That is the curse. You cannot run, you cannot hide… you cannot break it."

"Who are you?" you ask weakly.

"You know what I am," is his only response.

"Who are you?" you repeat, your voice louder this time as you step forward. He blinks, his yellow eyes glowing through the night, as you squint at him. "Or is your only name Death?"

"I… am not death," he says slowly, a frown tugging on his lips as you continue to walk toward him. When you get close enough and crane your head back to look up at him, you can even see his face under all of the feathers and shadows, and he looks… he looks almost human underneath it all. "My name is Damian… and I am nothing more than an omen."

You're not sure what possesses you to reach up, leaning onto your toes so that you can reach for his face, brushing feathers away until you can see him clearly. Smooth skin and downturned lips, furrowed brows and his eyes, his bright yellow eyes staring at you through the darkness. 

"An omen?" you repeat questioningly. He hums in affirmation, his knees slightly bent and his shoulders and back hunched so that you can let one of your hands smooth across his face. 

"I see them, these deaths," he continues in his low, rumbling voice. "I watch, but I cannot change. You… you understand this, do you not?" You huff out a surprised breath at his words, jerking back like you've just remembered yourself and stumbling to create distance between the two of you. He straightens at your actions, watching you carefully as you twist your hands together and feel, as if for the first time, the biting cold of the night. 

"You're killing those people," you say harshly, but he merely stares.

"I am not… any more than you are."

"What?" you say, and you feel the air freeze in your lungs. "I'm not - I didn't kill anyone. I just - I keep seeing it and I'm… I'm trying to stop it, I'm trying to save people but I don't -"

"You are not responsible," he speaks over you, and you swear that you hear an exasperated sigh from somewhere deep within him. "That is our curse… you must watch, but you cannot change. It does not ever change."

"Then why…" you falter, searching frantically for some sort of answer, some sort of way out of this tangled snare. "Why were you there? Why are you here?"

"I am an omen," he repeats. "Where death trails through, I am to appear."

"That's it?" you say weakly. "You just… you stand and you watch? Over and over again?"

"You…" he says slowly, "would understand that, I think." You laugh at that, a high-pitched, hysterical sort of noise that makes a bird somewhere nearby squawk.

"Yea, uh, I guess - I guess I would," you say as you rub a hand over your forehead in a harsh way, squeezing your eyes shut. You try to breathe deeply for a moment, try desperately to move the freezing air through your lungs, but there's something in you that's strangling you, that's tugging at your heart and making it beat strangely in your chest.

You're just starting to consider that maybe you really should just be thrown into Arkham when a hand, huge and clawed and ever so gentle, wraps around your wrist and brings your palm away from your face. When you look up at him with wide eyes, he's staring down at you, hunched over so that he can be close to your face.

"Why are you hunting me like this?" you ask quietly, your voice a tired whisper. His brows furrow together and he frowns again.

"I'm… courting you."

"…Pardon?"

"We understand each other, I think," he explains, straightening to look down at you while he keeps his fingers wrapped loosely around your wrist. His wings arc out behind him, blocking out the moon and the small sliver of brightness that it had blessed you with. 

"I don't… think we do," you respond hesitantly, but he just shakes his head.

"It is a curse, this life… to see but not speak, watch but not move. It is… lonely, this life. It is lonely to be us."

"So what, we…" you let your eyes dart around as his words wrap around you and make your head spin. "We just… I don't know, what, we're not alone when we're together, I suppose?"

"It is true," he says simply. "We are not alone in this place… you are not alone with me by your side."

"I thought you were trying to kill me!" you shout, pulling your arm away from his grip. He lets you, much to your shock, making a low, panicked sort of sound when he can't loosen his grip fast enough and his claws scrape against his skin. Your hand's already bandaged from the incident with your broken window, and now long, angry, red lines curl across your skin from him. 

"I have never killed anyone," he says quickly - firmly. "I have not."

"I thought -," but you cut yourself off, burying your face into your hands to let out choppy, shuttering breaths. The creature makes another pained, whining sort of sound and when you peek between your fingers, he's kneeling in front of you so that you're face-to-face, and his eyes… his eyes look so human as he stares at you with agony.

"I would never hurt you," he says firmly, but then his eyes glance down at the scrapes on your hand and he shrinks back. "Not - not on purpose. I would never lay a hand on you like that." You take a deep, shaky breath and look at him, your breath coming out in foggy gasps from the cold.

"What were you doing on the bridge tonight, then?" you ask firmly. "Why didn't that cop die?"

"I was not there for him," he says simply, frowning at you. "I was there for you."

"Then why did I see it? I saw him die -"

"Did you?" the creature cuts you off gently. "Or did you just… see him crash?"

"Well, I -," you falter, squeezing your eyes shut for a moment as if to try to see the visions again before looking at Damian once more. "I… the visions are always of death. Always except for that one and -"

"And?" he prompts. You just press your lips together, flashes of your visions with Damian running through your mind. 

"How can you think that something like this could ever work?" you ask tiredly, a weak distraction as you let your forehead thump against his feathered shoulder and revel in the warmth that radiates from him. He rumbles somewhere deep in his chest and he spreads his wings further to wrap around the two of you, cocooning you in heat and darkness as his eyes bathe you in a yellow glow. 

"Is there a reason why it should not?" he asks in return, letting one of his hands find your waist while the other lifts to your cheek so that he can stroke a knuckle across your skin. You huff a bit at his easy demeanour, but with your eyes closed all that you can think of are those visions.

"I - I've seen you," you admit.

"You have?" he asks mildly.

"Yes. I've seen you - us. I've seen…" but you trail off, thankful that the darkness can hide the heat raging in your cheeks.

"You're blushing, beloved," he points out, though, and you curse yourself for not thinking that of course he can see through the impossible darkness of the night. 

"Shut up," you respond quickly.

"Not… death visions, then, I suppose?" he asks, and your eyes narrow at the playful, near-smug way that he speaks. 

"Not quite," you grit out. 

"Well, that is delightful, is it not?" he says smoothly, his voice keeping that deep, low, rumble as he leans back to look at you more clearly. "That you've accepted me?"

"I have not," you say stubbornly, but you bury your face into his feathers again, hiding your face from view while he laughs. 

"Well, that is alright," he says soothingly, brushing a hand over the back of your head. "Is this a rejection? If it is not, I'll keep trying." You grumble something under your breath, turning his words over and over and over in your mind. Would it be so bad, you think, to not be alone?

"It's… it's not. It's not a rejection," you say weakly, and when you lift your head to look at him once more, you learn that monsters can still smile. 

It's several months later, past the time of year when the cold fully sets in, and then even further past when it begins to thaw - it's then, when the ground shifts as warmth rolls in and fog begins to get muggy and sticks to your skin, that you find yourself curled up on a little fold out chair on your fire escape. You're sitting with your legs propped up on the chair with the rest of you so that you can lean your chin on your knee and stare up at the stars, at the endless pricks of light that sit just beyond the reach of this terrible, cursed city. 

It's been one of those nights, where the visions just won't leave and they wrap around you and squeeze until you're tossing and turning and gasping for breath. It's one of those nights where you wonder why it's you who's cursed, why it's you who feels so caught in the tangled thread of life and death that runs through this city. 

It's one of those nights where you think, rather desperately, that there must be some way to change what you are and what's laid out ahead of you. 

But it is a bit different already, you suppose, as a fluttering shadow stretches overhead and you glance up to see the outstretched wings of the Mothman as he swoops and dives through the darkened night sky.

It is different, because there's a new routine that you and Damian have now, where you catch each other when one of you stumbles and falls. 

It is different, if for nothing other than the fact that neither of you face death alone. 

"What's wrong, my love?" Damian's voice rings down from somewhere above you, deep and smooth as you feel the warm night air swirling while his wings beat. He's rather graceful as he lands, perched on the railing of your fire escape, the weight of him making the metal groan and creak underneath him.

"What are you doing here?" you quip, but there's no real bite in your voice as you stand and lean into him, letting him wrap an arm around your waist while you press a gentle kiss to his lips. 

"Can't you sleep?" he asks in lieu of answering. When you sigh heavily and shake your head, a frown tugs at his lips and his yellow eyes blink down at you.

"Not tonight," you answer quietly, and you shrink in on yourself just a bit. The action is enough to make an empathetic whine sound from his chest before he wraps you fully in his arms and lifts you off of your feet.

"I'll stay with you," he says simply, but you huff a bit in his arms as he settles where you'd been sitting before, letting you curl into his lap while he wraps his wings around the two of you, sealing you into a little hold of safety against the looming horror of the city beyond the two of you. 

"Damian, you don't have to…" you trail off, and he looks at you pointedly when you sink into the warmth of his embrace, relaxing in his hold. 

"But why wouldn't I?" he asks simply. You do nothing but squirm and shrug a bit, toying with some of the feathers that cover his chest. 

"Isn't there somewhere else to be?" you ask quietly. A laugh rumbles from him as you press your face into his neck and bury your hands into the soft, bluish-black feathers. 

"Like where?" he asks, a hint of mirth in his voice. "Out there? Staring death in the face? What a thing to do when I have you right here." He says it so simply, always. And you suppose that, really, he's right.

Sometimes life, you suppose, just… is what it is. Sometimes there is no fighting what you are. But why do it alone? Why not do it right here, in the arms of a monster who's learned how to love?

[i-is-surrounded-by-idjits]

I love the GoT series, especially for its historical accuracies (I could talk about them for daaaaaays), but I get really annoyed with the age gap debate with ships without taking into account the historical setting (especially Sansa Stark and Sandor Clegane). this has annoyed me to the point where I am writing a book to address the social construct just to tear it down.

In the past noble girls were married early. Not usually as soon as they had their first period (although legal), this was usually delayed until 16-18 years due to negotiations (it was a trade deal). However, most nobles would be married before they turned 20, unless they were undesirable for some reason (this could be appearance, family scandal, illness, physical health, disability, or personality), and they would quickly become known as spinsters - we think of spinsters being unmarried woman past middle age, but in the past, this could be used for an unmarried 25 y/o. Reminder that 'paedophile' refers to the attraction of prepubescent children (by UK law this is under 13).

Women married early for biological reasons; they have a short fertility period (while some men can keep fathering sons for decades; think Walder Frey). From first blood to menopause, a woman had to be married off as quickly as possible to ensure they had the best chance of providing as many children as possible. Menopause is currently between 45-50 yrs (with some biological variation), but in the past, this could be as early as 35 - unclear due to natural variation, but health and hygiene contribute to fertile health and the decline would be noted as the end for many noble women.

Men sometimes married later, usually for education, status, or military reasons. So one could expect a man not to marry until in their 20s (of higher social standing). Commoners skew the statistics, as they would marry at any age, and usually more love-matches (no need for social staus debates and political marriages), however, common men would be expected to have a job in order to provide for a wife and family, and so would sometimes be older, but the

If a man needed a wife, say windowed at 30. Guess what, they'd start at the beginning looking for a teenager. There was no point marrying an older woman (if there were any that were unmarried, that is). Widows were often off the cards if they had children as they would still belong to their dead spouse's family, and the social 'undesirables' would still be undesired by a man seeking their second or third wife. For example, Æthelred the Unready first married Ælfgifu - she was 4 years younger and perfectly normal. She died aged 32. His second wife Emma, was 18 years younger (aged 18 at the time) - a much larger age gap and unseemly by modern standards, but Æthelred would not have married a woman in her 30s whose fertility could decline shortly after marriage simply to marry someone closer to his own age.

Childhood and teenagers are relatively new terms. In the past, they were better defined as prepubescent and of marital age (postpubescent). Meaning you were considered almost adult once you could reproduce. To view historical fiction by modern standards, laws, and norms, is a mistake. One should understand the history to better understand the subject material and fictional writings it has inspired.

The best way to understand this is to understand why marriage was invented: to produce legitimate heirs. This is why infidelity was viewed differently for men and women - a man is unfaithful, it is a distraction and a sin, but bastards have no claim. A woman is unfaithful, this brings into question the legitimacy of her existing children, and she has wasted almost a year providing someone else a child. Not such a big deal now, but childbirth was also dangerous; they could literally die due to an affair... even before the husband found out about it. Therefore, ensuring the bride had enough time to produce children was essential. Bear in mind that during the Middle Ages, one could get an annulment for infertility in many countries (and still can) - as this is a breach of the marriage contract.

P.S. - This is historical thinking. I am pro same-sex marriage and believe this should have been legalised when marriage changed the definition to a declaration of love (circa 18th century)... but that's a religious debate for another time.

Back to the topic; Sansa Stark would not see age as an issue really. Although she hoped for a love match (and thus naturally inclined to someone near her own age), socially, she would see nothing wrong with Sandor Clegane based on age. Clegane would have had issues with any attraction until she reached 'adulthood' (before her first period) as this would have been considered immoral, however, once deemed an adult, this no longer poses an issue legally. Lysa was 21 years younger than Jon when they married - she protested this based on age, but realistically she only protested as she had hoped to marry Petyr.

[sekhithefops]

So for everything I'm seeing for Warcraft 10.2, Guardians of the Dream, it just feels like one huge love letter to druids in general and Night Elves in particular.

Really hoping this one is out soon... though knowing how it usually goes we'll know the same day we know when the next FFXIV patch drops and oh what a co-inky-dink its the same daaaaaay~ >w>

[mindingmybidness12]

Hump Day [Wednesday X Troll GN!Reader]

Summary: Wednesday Hates GEICO and it's all your fault.

"Hey... mike..."

Wednesday paused her typing for only millisecond before continuing on to write again without so much as a word.

"Mike! Mike! Mike!"

"...."

"Guess what day its."

"...."

"Guess what day it is!"

"For the love-- will you please-!" whatever Wednesday was gonna say was promptly ignored.

"It's HUMP DAAAAAAY!!"

She finally deemed it necessary to turn around and give you what would be her signature look of utter disdain reserved only for you when your shenanigans had drove her up a wall yet again. But when she turned around she came face to face with you. In fact, your face was only a hair's breath away when...

"MMMMMMMMMUAAAHH!"

You landed a big wet one right on her lips. You observed her face and reaction. Her pale cheeks where bright red with the blush that you gave her. Her eyes were bugged out of her head and her lips were parted in shock. Yup she was sufficiently shell shocked.

Now it was to make your way out like a bat outta hell before she regained her senses.

"AlrightGottagobye!"

You slammed the door right behind you as you heard a horrifying furious scream right behind you.

"YYYYYYYYYYYYYY/NNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

A/N: A short little one shot. Enjoy!

[tommyshelby87]

Sooooo everybody tell me about your daaaaaay what have you been up to???? i miss you all very very much and also i made too many pancakes so if someone wants some theyre in the kitchen i love you all and you r all so hot xoxoxoxoxoxoxo call me

- 🦢

Thomas: I've been doing work. Had a few drinks, busted a few faces. Pancakes huh? That sounds nice.

Jackson: Found myself a new target. No thank you, not in the mood for sweets. I need something that burns on the way down.

Jonathan: I saw a few patients, condemned a few criminals to Arkham. I'd like a pancake, thank you for sharing.

Robert: I've been working, as always.

Neil: I sorted out some stock for the store and I'm running a special on horror movies until Sunday. I'd love some pancakes, thanks!

[marengogo]

Love your posts! why do you think Jikook are the real deal and not say, vmin or yoomin etc?

Dear Anon …

I will admit that I decided to reply to your ASK because I thought I was gonna be short and quick with it 🤡. 

BUT, GOSH DARN IT, IT WASN’T AS SHORT, NOR AS QUICK, AS I THOUGHT BRO!

So I apologise for all the Anons I’ve been respectfully “neglecting” for the time being 🙏🏾. Thing is, some of y’all send me ASKS which would really take me daaaaaays to reply, cause I’m big on receipts, so I MUST do my thorough research on EVERYTHING. Hence, as you’ll see below, I obviously underestimated this ASK I was actually thinking it would take me a quick afternoon, but it took me muuuuuch longer, between IRL schedules and me continuously reminiscing adorable jikook details 🥹🥹🥹 but, by the time I realised what I got myself into, I had already started it … AND … it kinda came as such a cute subconscient surprise, during a rather shitty week, that I couldn't stop. 

So … Why do I think Jikook Is the real deal? Mmmhmmm, let first start with a little correction to that question:

Why do I think Jikook could be the real deal? Let’s please never forget that they are not confirmed 🙏🏾

If you’ve been around long enough to watch a good amount of the boys original content, you might be probably familiar with the fact that the boys are all very affectionate with each other, in fact, they’ve all had “moments” and by moment I mean situations that are commonly shippable with each other, and if you’ve been around enough shipper spaces you would have read/heard that “x-member only does this with x-member”. Now, even though there are a few known things that JK & JM have done just for each other, that isn’t what I mainly base my speculations on.

What really makes me raise my eyebrow, JK-style, are the amount of times they’ve braved to test some boundaries, as well as the times they’ve allowed their impulses to momentarily take over, and, last but not least, the amount of concessions, understanding, and wake-up-calls that their members provide them with. All in all ⚠️IN MY OPINION LIKE EVERYTHING IN THIS POST⚠️ JK & JM have come really far, faltered quite a bit, dared a lot and have also matured as couple, just the right amount, given their circumstances. 

“Uuuuh, so … What do you mean by alla dat?”

Well, for example ...

It’s the way they publicly “argue”

The only time we’ve had a public display of an argument in bangtan was Jin and Tae for that stage disagreement, which they all sat down and discussed. Other than that, we know that the members have had many private arguments, some which they discussed as a group (HopeKook banana-fight … kinda … JK really didn’t give the members a chance, he told them and hobi reacted LOL) and some which they solved solely with the parties involved (VMIN dumpling incident). YET, JK & JM seem to have the need to solve many of their could-easily-become-an-argument-for-no-reason arguments in a very  let’s-do-this-right-here-right-now way, and perhaps because they are aware that they are very passionate during their discussions, they do make a conscious effort to at least sound playful at the beginning  🤡…

In addition, if JM is the one to start the whole thing, JK will try his best and so far he’s never failed to keep calm while at the same time try to divert the attention to something else, but in this type of situations JM is a bull and JK is, metaphorically, the only one drenched in red, so eventually, the members do chime in, trying to help JK, because I can imagine that facing a whole JM, int that state, can be something 😬 JM takes petty, and give-me-what-I’m-asking for-right-now, to a whole new level. If it is JK to start it, he knows he will get an apology, at some point, but he also knows that it is the most he will get at least publicly, because once again, facing a whole JM can be something.

Afterall, Let’s not forget they both chose B, during the scenario in the image below, so in a way, their little bickering is just not avoidable … 🤡

It’s the way that for example, in the recent years, the 94s have been “taunting” them and the way VHope know more than they let on, and 2Seok play along ... basically Hobi is everywhere  🤡

By now we should be very familiar with the support that the Tannies in general have for the LGBTQIA+ community, and between 2022 and last year, the 94s were very on point with reminding us about that. From collaborating with Balming Tiger to posting the lesbian scene in Wheel of Fortune and Fantasy during pride month (Joonie) or from being a close friend to Jo Kwon to having his Listening Party’s afterparty at a gay bar (Hobi), the 94s have been present (The Gay Bar → Trunk Seoul).

The Tannies have inside jokes to no end. If you ask me, this is one of the few ways they have in order to keep a couple of things just for themselves. For example, a reference from a movie/drama they won’t specify but ARMY will find anyways, because we on top of business like that 😎 … so time too much so  🤡, laughing about a picture on a phone they won’t show us and perhaps… the playful taunting of a couple they can’t out?

But why do that? Won’t it out them?! … It hasn’t thus far has it? Because I do believe it is part of the things which, for now, they are keeping just for them, for obvious reasons but also because I think that in a way the 94s are trying to create normality in their environment, and the universe only knows how important it is to know that your close ones perceive you as you always were, regardless of coming out etc, particularly in a society that tries so fucking hard to make you think otherwise. 

It’s the way we keep spotting random oh-I-didn’t-know details and the way in which we are made privy of non-requested good-for-you-bro! type of TMI

In the 1st screenshot (ss) JK wanted more pizza, but the boys finished literally within minutes I kinda wanna say second really, they inhaled it but this are the same people who gave away their album for some meat 🤡 and JM just let him have a bite of his, like it was it was expected of him to do so. During this same live, JM pointed out to JK that the champagne they were drinking is the only one he can drink or that he likes; and JK took note of that. How do I know?

In the 4th ss JK got champagne for everyone to cheer with, but didn’t prepare anything for JM. Eventually, Hobi would ask JM if he wanted a glass and Tae would try to make him drink from his glass, but JM would refuse on both occasions. This is the same live where we find out that JK’s mom prepared seaweed soup traditional soup made on a family member’s birthday in South Korea because it was JM’s birthday. So many details, so freaking useless to me as I will never be with either JK or JM in that capacity; but good to know I guess.

Also, JM is going to be your boxing partner? JK comes to your room very often? GOOD FOR YOU BROS. Like … When’s my turn?! That’s what I really want to know … 😑… 😩

… and so on and so forth.

I could go on further, but I really don’t have that type of time as of recently, but I hope you can see that what I am trying to say is that the proof is in the pudding, so to say. There isn’t a one ultimate defining moment, if there were, I would guess that only JM and JK would know what did it for them, what made JK think “Ah, yes, he is the one …” which i am 85.13% sure it is going to be a different moment in time for JM, in the same way they get irritated with each other for different reason eccetera eccetera eccetera.

Anyways Anon, hope I was able to answer your questions somewhat and that I wasn’t just confusing. Thank you for stopping by and have a safe and serene day!

Always respectfully yours 💜🫰🏾,

Marengo.

[cry4mina]

Pomegranate

(Jeongyeon x fem!reader)

Word Count: 6.3k

Angst/Smallest drop of fluff

Summary: Jeongyeon was coming home from tour and you were going to propose but she comes home later than expected and throws a wrench in your plans.

TW: ANGST. Alcohol and lots of it, throwing up, sad, big sads, panic attacks, the big sads, screaming, mentions of blood (it's in once sentence), food, uh...yeah angst.

A/N: Me 3 days ago: i'm not doing birthday fics. Me right now, HAPPY EARLY JEONGYEON DAAAAAAY! Have a not so happy moment to celebrate! I decided I was going to attempt to do one for her and Momo before I moved soooo ta daaaaa (it's been so long since i've written angst, i'm rusty pls forgive me) @psylocke142 helped me find pictures and let me yap about this (also read it before I posted it to make sure it wasn't ass) <33 thank u fren!

Everyone pls stay safe and have a lovely daaaaay<3

After weeks of preparation and consulting with Jihyo virtually, you were finally ready to ask your girlfriend of 4 years to marry you. Picking up all the components, you rushed home to get ready for what was going to be one of the best days of your life.

Tonight’s the night!

The house is set up perfectly, rose petals from the front door to the living room, a bouquet of roses on the table that are blooming, candles everywhere, and you’re in a brand new fully tailored suit that fits you like a glove.

Preparing dinner was the most tedious part of this. While Jeongyeon was on tour for a few months, you took it upon yourself to take some classes to master her favorite dish so you could make it from scratch for tonight. Even taking it a step further and asking her mother for the recipe she used when Jeong was a child.

Dinner is ready in the kitchen, you check your watch to see it’s 7:13pm. Jeongyeon should be walking through the door any minute, flight having landed an hour ago- she texted you when she landed saying that she was dropping Jihyo off and heading home.

Time sludges on, 7:45pm, still no sign of her.

Then it’s suddenly 8:30pm.

Every minute feels like an hour of nothingness.

No call

No text.

Nothing.

You: I hope everything is okay…let me know when you’ll be home. [9:01pm]

You: I love you. [9:01pm]

Walking into the kitchen, you decide to pack dinner up. Putting all the food in Tupperware and stacking it in the fridge in portions for when your girlfriend got home.

Hopefully, your soon to be fiancé would hurry back to you.

Reaching into your pocket, you pull out the suede box and pop it open, revealing a classic square shaped diamond on a gold band.

Taking in the sparkle of the gem, you reminisce on your favorite memories together. All the soft, tender, silly moments you had with your loving girlfriend and wishing she was here so you could just ask her to spend forever with you.

Checking your phone to see no response from Jeongyeon, you sigh and frown. She usually updated you with what she was up to, so this was out of character for her.

Especially, under the circumstances, she usually hurried home to you.

It had been months since you’d seen her, since the tour was taking up most of her time. It was easy to be impatient. Even with FaceTime dates, phone calls, texts - it wasn’t the same as having her with you. Being able to hear her laugh outside of a speaker and feeling her warmth against you as you slept instead of falling asleep together through a screen.

Taking a seat on the couch and kicking your feet up on the table, you lull off into a peaceful sleep with happy memories of the two of you replaying in your mind's eye.

—

The latching of the door rings in your ears, you hear light footsteps through the hall and into the kitchen.

A deep sigh seeps tension into the atmosphere of your home. The tapping of nails on the counter makes your eyes slingshot open.

She’s home.

Jumping up and almost losing your balance, you grab the roses and bolt into the kitchen to see a teary-eyed Jeongyeon standing there, leaning against the counter.

“Baby? What’s wrong?” immediately putting the flowers on the counter and walking out to hold her.

Jeongyeon halts your movements with a single hand up, palm facing you to stop you in your tracks. Her eyes never leave the floor. Confusion tenses your shoulders and back, concerned at not only the gesture but her demeanor and emotional state.

��Jeongyeon…what’s going on?” the soft nervousness of your tone makes her wince at the words spoken.

“We need to talk.” she’s still unable to look at you. Eyes tracing the grout on the tile, looking for literally anything but you to focus on. Tears trailing down her cheeks, she’s trying to collect herself.

“Okay..?” hopping up onto the counter and placing your hands within themselves, you patiently wait for her to say what she needs to.

“I’m…not happy.” stumbles its way off her tongue and into the air.

The flavor is putrid and sour.

There’s an ache building in your chest, brain and heart trying to process the words you just heard her say.

“…what do you mean?” Unable to grasp what she’s just spoken.

Unhappy?

“I…don’t want to do this anymore. I feel bad being away for so long and it really hurts both of us when you say how much you miss me. I can’t expect for you to just wait around for me to come home all the time. It’s not fair to either of us.” Voice shaking as she explains herself.

Weighed down by a devastating ton of bricks that build the foundation of this relationship, you slide off the counter. Your eyes not leaving her face for the time it takes to approach her.

Watching as your stability crumbles underneath you. You can’t believe this is what she’s saying…

“Jeongyeon…baby, I’d take missing you over being with anyone else…any day. In any life. You’re my everything…” hands now on her forearms, trying to make eye contact so she can see how much care you have for her.

“I’m sorry.” whispered to you through tears.

She still can’t even look at you.

The cracks through your chest are loud enough to make the earth shatter. Lightning shoots through your veins, flashes of heat that immediately run cold inside you.

Trying to make sense of all this as fight, flight or freeze kicks in, you leave the room.

Walking into the living room, you sit on the couch you had just dozed off on. Head in your hands, sobbing into them violently, a physical reaction to your heart being ripped from your chest.

Not even noticing her stepping into the room, you continue to let out the devastating wail, trying to ease the emptiness in your chest from the abrupt pain it was now experiencing.

Her sniffling pulls you out of your hands.

Looking up to see her with matching tears flowing down her cheeks.

Standing up, you pick up the box of tissues on your shared coffee table and hand them to her. She offers a half smile before taking one, you don’t return the gesture.

“Can you tell me what I did?” Through the shivering as you try to regulate your emotions.

“What? What you did?” Jeongyeon is confused by this question, dabbing her tears from under her eyes and trying to compose herself.

“Yes, what did I do to make you want to leave?” Looking her in the eyes and waiting for the reasoning.

“I…I’m sorry, I have to go.” Grabbing her keys and bolting for the door.

Never offering a response, or even a glance back. She left you to your own devices that night in your once shared apartment.

—

3 months later and you can still hardly take care of yourself. The agony of her not being with you, completely ruining every day you’ve had.

Work was always slow and dreadful, not offering any reprieve from the weighted down linger of what was no longer in your life. Leaving you all the time in the world to ruminate and try to make sense of everything that happened.

The scene of her leaving the house that night played in your head over and over again, like a nightmare that never stopped. A broken record that continued to spin, playing the same tune until your ears bled.

Getting mail for her everyday ruined you. Seeing her name on the letters was just detrimental, a reminder around every corner - the entire house coated in the same layer of hopeless despair you found yourself in.

You didn’t even know where she was staying or what her day to day was like. Always wondering if she was feeling these aftershocks of your split.

Turing to alcohol to ease the feelings, you drank alone until you passed out every single night. Blaring music and singing at the top of your lungs while heavily intoxicated was an escape, but it was only temporary.

Isolating was something you did well, never really wanting to let the world know how you were suffering. Jeongyeon was good at pulling you out of that but…she wasn’t here anymore.

Turning down every picture in the house of the two of you together, you were no where near ready to get rid of them no matter how much they hurt to see.

They were little glimpses into the past…tiny portals into a happier time and it was devastating to think she might not share that sentiment. Most of you free time spent on the questions of whether or not she ever actually loved you and whether or not you would see her again.

—

One drunken night, your phone rang. The vibrating against the table startled you out of your dissociated drunken state that was practically slumber.

Picking it up without being bothered to read who was calling, you put your half empty bottle of whiskey down on the table and answer the phone.

“H- hiccup-hello?”

“Hey Y/n! It’s been so long since I’ve seen you. How are you doing?” The voice is immediately recognizable.

“I’m alive, Jihyo. If that’s what you’re wondering.” The sulking was dripped off your tone, knowing this was your ex girlfriend’s best friend brought up too many feelings for you, very aware that whatever you told Jihyo would be passed on to…her.

“I was wondering…but I wanted to check in with you.” Her tone seems saddened, worried and hesitant to ask what she really wanted to.

Knowing she was aware of the plan to propose and encouraged you to do it, helping you organize everything - including getting Jeongyeon to the house when you needed her there for the perfect surprise, you had a bond with Jihyo that was strong and she knew that you were not okay.

She couldn’t have known the internal workings of Jeongyeon’s mind, though she did tell her everything. No one expected you two to ever break up in their wildest dreams.

You were meant to together.

Or so you and everyone else thought.

“I’m alive. That’s really all I have to shhay.” Slurring your responses to her, unintentionally.

“Y/n…are you drunk?” Concern now lacing her voice even stronger than before, she knows you’re not much of a drinker so this was worrisome to her.

Hearing keys rattling on the other side of the phone, assuming that Jihyo was about to head over to your house - you shut that down, quickly. Not wanting to see her or even entertain the thought of pretending like you weren’t in the depths of your own dejection.

“I’m fine, Jihyo. Just let me shhuffer in peace.” Hanging up and putting the phone back down on the table.

It vibrates for at least 15 minutes, you choose to ignore the buzzing and take another long swig from the bottle of whiskey. Who needs a glass when you’re just going to drown in your own tears anyway?

Your world lost it’s light. There’s no reason to pretend like you gave a shit about anything, nothing was worth caring about now that she was gone. Yourself included.

A hard knock on the door startles you out of your thoughts.

Looking at the clock, it’s 1:27am.

Who the fuck is at your door?

“Go -hiccup- away!” followed by another swing from the bottle, stinging your throat as it slips down to your stomach.

“Y/n, open the door or I’m coming in!” A stern tone comes through the solid wood that is all too familiar for all the right reasons.

“You and -hiccup- what army?” Standing up and almost falling over but catching your balance on the arm of the couch.

The lock clicks open, knob turning quickly and the door flew open, smacking against the wall to reveal…

Her…

Jeongyeon.

Steppping in to see the house in shambles, she takes in the empty bottles of alcohol everywhere, garbage and empty plates and cups all over the coffee table and the mess that was you, standing next to the wreck with your bottle gripped tightly.

Sighing at the sight, she closes the door behind her and sets her stuff down on the counter in the kitchen. Jeongyeon scans the house, looking around to find any semblance of your old happy life. Seeing the picture frames turned down stops her in her tracks, flipping her favorite on up and leaving it.

“What -hiccup- are YOU doing here?” Slurring and pointing at her before plopping down on the couch, glaring at her for fixing the pictures, not wanting to remember the good times because there wasn’t a light at the end of this tunnel, as far as you’re concerned.

Trying to take a swing from your whiskey, she runs over and snatches the bottle out of your hand.

“HEY! -hiccup- That’s mine! Get your own! I don’t want to share with -hiccup- you.” Reaching for the container again, only for her to push you down by your chest back to the couch, brows furrowed in a mix of confusion and disgust.

“Sit down! I can’t believe the mess this place is…what’s gotten into you?” The anger in her voice shakes the frame of your soul, snapping you as far sober as your body would allow.

“I…don’t think you care anymore.” Tears fall unstoppably, coating your eyes and cheeks with pure grief and misery.

Jeongyeon’s face is made of stone, stoic in nature and unmoving as you cry. This causes you to break completely. Maybe she never really cared…

Laying down on the couch and rolling over to face the back of it, trying to hide your descent into the pit of despair that you were trying to pull yourself out of everyday but with her reactions, she pushed you deeper unknowingly.

You lacked the will to keep up your strength, yet you persisted in your attempts, even if they were futile. Refusing to showcase how thoroughly this had devastated you. It consumed you entirely.

The experience gnawed at your bones, turning your world upside down, leaving behind only a hollow shell of what once was—every trace of love you held for her and for yourself, devoured in its wake.

“Y/n…” the tinge of sadness in the way she said your name caught your attention but you were still stuck in the void and didn’t want to turn over to look at her.

“Y/n…come on…” sitting down at the bend of your legs, rubbing your back in a familiar act of comfort.

“Don’t do that.” Harshly spat at her through gritted teeth, scooting closer to the inside of the couch and farther away from her so she would get the hint and taker her hand off you.

“Y/n…look, I’m sorry okay…I know I shouldn’t have come…I was just worried about you. I heard you slurring and I know you don’t really like to dri-“

“You HEARD me?” Rolling over with fury leaching from your eye to see the shock on her face. She had given herself up and the realization already set in, even though you were inebriated.

“…did you make Jihyo call me to check up on me?” Glaring at her in disbelief, anger boiling in your chest as you waited for her to say something.

Jeongyeon stammers, looking for a good excuse as her eyes shift from left to right. She opens her mouth to try and but ends up just looking at the ground…unwilling to tell the truth even having been caught.

“Get out.” Standing up too quickly and almost falling to open the door for her.

“Y/n, please just let me explain.” Begging for a moment of your time so she can try to fix this.

“You have 2 minutes -hiccup- and then I never want to shhee you again.” Voice cracking as you try to stand by yourself, wobbling and stumbling over to the door, gripping the knob to steady yourself.

“Can we please talk about this when you’re sober? I think that would be better than trying to have a conversation when you’re like this…” Jeongyeon motions her hands at you, tears welling up in her eyes at the disheveled state she found you in.

Taking your hand off the door, you turn around and face her. Letting the tears fall freely from your eyes, taking off the mask you wore to try and hide the suffering. Trying to wipe the destress from your face as you formulate your sentence.

“What’s wrong, Jeongyeon?” stepping up close to her with a frigid demeanor and a spiteful scowl that contradicts the droplets of emotion that fall from your eyes as you step closer to her, inches from her face, giving the final blow.

“Having trouble facing me? Or do you just not like the way you found me?” sniffling through the ending of that sentence, you stumble off to your once shared bedroom, leaving Jeongyeon in the living room by herself.

Falling onto the bed, you rip off your shirt, bra and pants and curl up on her side of the bed. The room starts to spin as you finally laid still and the alcohol took over again. Moaning and groaning to yourself as the minutes pass.

It hits you all at once, the overwhelming sensation of being wasted, the fact that your ex was in the house and the anxiety that ran your life all clashing to create a wave of nausea that you could not escape.

You struggle to get to the bathroom, knocking stuff over on the way before finally sitting down in front of the toilet and purging your stomach.

Retching all the toxic fluid out of your body takes an hour or so. Dizzied by your drunken state, dehydration, and sorrow, you’re unable to stand so you just sit and wait for it to pass like a bad thunder storm.

A small knock at the door, startles you out of a sleep that you hasn’t realized you slipped into while waiting for the room to stop spinning against your will.

“Y/n?…Are you alright?” softly spoken from behind the door, the pit of your stomach falls and you start to cry again.

Not because she left, not because you couldn’t control it but it was the act of her checking in on you that tugged on your oxytocin, giving you another hit of Jeongyeon that you so desperately craved.

Lifting your chin up barely removing it from the porcelain, you muster all the strength you have to produce one malicious, guttural scream.

“GO AWAY!” the words rip from your throat like the sharp blade of a chainsaw, slicing haphazardly through hard wood, splintering and shattering every millisecond it touches your vocal chords and leaves a blood stain of regret and hatred behind.

Not for her.

Never for her.

For yourself.

You hate that she left, but you never blamed her. It’s not like it was unheard of, a break up before a proposal but you never understood why. Always assuming you were the problem there was no solution for.

Jeongyeon cracks the door, peaking in side and seeing you just your underwear hunched over and collapsing to the floor. Rushing over to you, stabilizing you with her hands- she forces you up on your feet.

You are dead weight at this point, leaning on her because your legs just won’t function underneath you. Pulling your arm around her, she practically drags you to the shower and makes you sit in the bathtub with your head against the wall.

Turning the water on you, it’s ice cold. Yelping at the sheer shock of the frozen water hitting you, complaints slurring out of your mouth instantly hushed when she gets into the shower with you. Sitting behind you and letting the faucet soak her with all her clothes on.

Positioning herself sitting with you between her legs, she brushes your hair off your forehead as the water crashed down on you both and shushes the spewing of your sadness and conquers your anger just by her touch.

The peace her presence brings you in this state has soothed the crashing waves of your heart that drenched every fiber of your being. The broken state of your soul was nothing more then a scratch on the surface while she was holding you and soothing you through this horrific break down of grief that was misguiding you to lash out.

Calmly rocking you back and forth with her, you finally gained some sobriety. Jeongyeon stands to turn the shower off and offers you a towel, while grabbing the matching one you didn’t bother to put away.

Taking your underwear off, now completely naked with a towel barely wrapped around you, attempting to dry off and failing miserably, dropping the towel and whining out of frustration. Picking up the towel, you give it another sloppy attempt.

Jeongyeon is just watching you, the smile in her eyes and smirk on her face feels so condescending considering everything that has happened between the two of you.

“What?” snapped at her while you wrap the towel around your body again and make your way to the bedroom to get something to wear.

“Nothing…it’s nothing.” Jeongyeon removes her shirt and pants, standing there in her shower soaked underwear and bra.

“Did you…uhm…are my clo-” softly uttered before hanging the clothes she was wearing on the shower rod for them to dry.

“Yes. They’re still here. I haven’t gotten rid of…anything.” choking on the words as the tears threaten to spill again.

This beautiful woman, standing in front of you had not only gone out of her way to make sure that you were okay and took care of you knowing that you weren’t…

The nurturing nature of her was what sparked the initial fire that set your heart aflame. The gasoline was how sweet she was, and how much she cared about everyone around her.

Her habits of focusing on everyone but herself was to her detriment- always checking in on others and not really checking in with herself…but that was what made your relationship so pure. She was worried about everyone and you were worried about her.

Given the opportunity, Jeongyeon would move the world for those she loved. Fitting herself in a box so small that she would be uncomfortable to make others feel comfortable. The details of her were never lost on you, always letting her express whatever she needed to and making sure that she knew that you would never judge her in anyway. It was so comfortable and perfect, that’s why it stung so much.

When she dropped that bomb on you those weeks ago, it was like a nuke - scorching every single atom that you ever had and what was happening right now was the fallout.

“Y/n…Can we ple-”

“Not tonight…please…no more tonight.” cutting her off again, not to hurt her but you just couldn’t handle another moment of discourse between the two of you, especially while you’re still drunk.

“Tomorrow.” stated to her, not offered to her.

The conversation you had been needing would happen tomorrow…finally. The closure, the end…whatever you want to call it, would be tomorrow.

The anxiety building in your stomach brought on a different kind of nausea. One that wouldn’t go away from just throwing up the contents of your body but only with comfort that you were too nervous to ask for.

Throwing on a big shirt that was hers and a fresh pair of underwear, you crawled into bed and got comfortable. Letting out a big sigh of relief that your sheets were finally consuming you again instead of the alcohol or complete and utter sadness.

Jeongyeon puts on some of the clothes she left behind, a shirt you got her, underwear and a pair of her sweats that she usually only wore around the house.

“I’m going to sleep on the couch…just so I can be here…if you need me…” timid, almost as if she was asking permission to sleep in the house that had her name on the mortgage.

“No.” calm and steady leaves your mouth.

Sitting up in your bed, you look her in the eyes before throwing the comforter off her side of the bed that you had been sleeping in, patting the sheets as a signal for her to come and lay with you.

Even if it was for the last time.

“Are you sure?” her voice is so gentle and lovely.

“Please, Jeongyeon…” throat clenching around the words as you pleaded for what you assumed to be one more sleep together.

Just one more.

Her eyes soften further, the familiar puppy eyed love you had always known crawls into your shared bed and gets comfortable on her side, like she always did.

Fuck, you missed this so much.

Laying on separate sides of the bed, you just take in the feeling of her warmth in the sheets next to you. The sigh she lets out was one of relaxation and ease. It was very hard to miss.

“Jeongie?” breathed so soft it was barely a whisper as you roll from your back to your side to face her. It was what you always called her when you wanted something, she knew what was coming without even asking.

“Yeah?” worry laces her words as she follows your movement and faces you.

“…I miss you.” the cracks in your voice shatter and sprawl out like lightening, cascading down your chest, through the sheets and up to her.

Not the words, not the tone, but the crack of your voice that let the misery you had experienced the three months she’s been gone…

Silence.

Jeongyeon just looks at you, eyes coated in despair as her own emotions display for what you feel like is the first time. Wondering if it’s her own distress or if it’s just pity for you.

A hand comes out of the darkness, placing itself on the small of your back and dragging you into Jeongyeon, so close you can feel her heart beat and feel her breathing - pressed up against her chest in the hug that you needed from her.

Nuzzling into her neck, you silently sob as you take in the smell of her skin and in the comfort of your bed no less. The peace it brings you brings happiness, even if it’s temporary.

Jeongyeon just holds you, rubbing your back and sniffling. Leaning down to kiss your forehead, she coos and sighs as the tension of her back decreases while holding you. Feeling her harms relax and her back unclench was worth every second of devastation that would follow, knowing you could be this for her…one last time.

“I miss you too. So much.” Whispered to you as you finally drift off to sleep in the comfort her arms, finally getting the safety that you had been missing.

—

Throbbing behind your eyes and a massive wave of nausea wakes you up from the deep sleep you were in. The most sleep you had since she left.

Groaning as you rolled over, you reach out to her side of the bed, hoping and praying that she would still be asleep next to you.

She wasn’t.

Sighing at the empty and cold sheets, you wonder if this is all a dream or if she was actually here last night.

Did she really shower with you?

Was it all just…a drunken daydream?

Slowly sitting up, you grab your head as it pounds into your skull. This hangover was the worst one you’d ever had, like a whip cracking against your brain at every movement you made, no matter how slight.

Taking a second to charge your movements and build up the courage to get up out of bed, you sigh again and give up. Rolling over to Jeongyeon’s side and shoving your face in her pillow, just to take in her smell again.

“Good morning” a familiar voice so angelic breaks your concentration on the memories you were reliving before you could fully immerse in them.

Sling-shotting up, you grab your head and let out a wince and a huff at how dizzy you got with the movement, the pounding continued as Jeongyeon giggles.

“With how drunk you were last night, I knew you would not feel great today…” lifting up a brown paper bag, shaking it at you before plopping it in front of you.

The smell of the burger nauseates you thoroughly.

Flinging a hand over your mouth, you jump off the bed and bolt to the bathroom - immediately regurgitating the toxins left inside you until there was nothing left but bile.

“Are you alright?” through the door, you get a flash back from last night and shiver at the unease of her seeing you this way.

Quietly gasping and trying to catch your breath, you spit. An attempt to rid your mouth of the acidic taste that burns from your stomach all the way to your lips.

“Yeah…” winded replies that feed her worry, unintentionally.

“I’ll meet you in the kitchen in a minute” the sentence stole the air from your lungs, still trying to get back to some sense of the word normal and slowly catching your bearings again.

Standing up, you head to the sink, leaving with your palms on the edge of the counter, with your hair in your eyes. Turning on the faucet, you reach into the stream of cold water. Cupping your hand and splashing it on your face trying to wash your hungover sleep filled eyes and bring some self back to you.

The chill of the water wakes you up, the headache not easing but the nausea was dissipating quickly, you were very grateful for that.

By the time you got to the kitchen, the nausea was replaced by hunger. Looking to see Jeongyeon at the kitchen table, already set out the greasy burger and fries, with a tall glass of water and some medicine next to it.

Sitting down with her, you take the meds first and drink half the glass of water. Placing it back down on the table, you look over at her. Jeongyeon’s food is untouched, sitting in front of her still wrapped up on the foil to keep it warm.

“Are you alright?” reaching over to grab her hand, remembering that she is your ex before you touch her, stopping yourself from the intimate contact.

Jeongyeon watched your hand in motion, seeing you stop from touching her and she swallows harshly. You could hear it from across the table.

“Are you ready to talk now?” asked in faint whispers while she toys with her fingers.

Looking down at your own hands, the nervousness returns back to you from the night she left. Rattling every heartstring you had in a vibration that could’ve made angels cry.

“…Yeah…I think it would be best if we did…” immediately biting the inside of your cheek after the statement, drawing a small amount of blood out of the soft flesh.

“I’m sorry.” Jeongyeon is looking up at you, her eyes glazed over in melancholy grief and regret.

“I’m sorry I left. I was scared that you were going to leave me first. I thought you missing me all the time was hard on our relationship and I was worried it was too much for you. I left because I didn’t want you to leave first…I thought you were unhappy.” her voice is cracking and she’s sniffling, panic interweaved in her words as she continues on with her admission.

“That night I came back…and you asked me what you did to make me want to leave…” a deep breath in and back out, trying to self soothe but having a difficult time regulating.

Her hand reaches up to hold your face, her palm on your cheek and the warmth of her on your skin makes you instinctively lean into her, closing your eyes as your body relaxes.

“Nothing. You didn’t do anything except love me so well that I thought I didn’t deserve it…” Jeongyeon is practically having a panic attack at this point, choking on her own sadness and attempting to even out her breathing, blink her tears away, talk to you- overwhelming herself and it’s sending her into a spiral.

Without hesitation, you get up from your chair and sit on her lap. Wrapping your arms around her and pulling her into your chest while running one of your hands down her back, then back up again. Continuing this repeatedly as it’s the fastest way to quell her anxiety.

“Shh Shh Shh…don’t worry, I’ve got you. You’re safe here.” cooed at her while you squeeze her just a little tighter as she choked on her overstimulation.

“I love you. I’ve always loved you. I will always love you.” through the breath violently hitching and the tenseness of her body.

A long beat of silence.

Your heart stops.

She still loves you…?

“Jeong…” lifting her head so she can see the hangover that was glazing your eyes.

“You really hurt me when you left. I didn’t understand what was going on…I didn’t even know that was a fear you had.” Hand continuing to rub her back.

“I would’ve told you how untrue that was…” brushing a lock of hair from her face.

Her face contorts, holding in her sobs as she lets out the cold, hard truth.

“I don’t think I would’ve believed you…”

That one stung. Though you know it was never anything that you did now that she’s told you. Patting her back lightly, you hatch an idea.

The perfect way to prove it to her.

Getting up from Jeongyeon’s lap, you run into the bedroom and go to your side of the bed. Pulling open the nightstand drawer, you grab the little black box that held the ring you were going to propose to her with that night and make your way back to the kitchen.

Watching you closely as you make your way back to the table and sit down, she doesn’t really know what to expect.

Taking a deep breath and exhaling rapidly, your nerves get to you a moment. Never knowing what her reaction would be to this, you built up as much courage as you could and places the box carefully in front of her.

“I think this might be all the proof you need.” swallowing hard as her shaky hand reaches for the box, popping it open and seeing the ring for the first time.

A gasp echo’s off the walls of your home, the same walls that heard your wails of misery and the same walls that watch you drink away the last three months.

“It’s perfect…”

Every emotion that Jeongyeon has ever felt is displayed on her face for you to see. The heart ache, the love, the regret, and the grief.

“I have so many regrets about that night, Y/n…I would have n-never left if I would have known-” Letting all of her pain flow.

She gathers herself, you look her in the eyes and boldly say:

“You could still say yes, you know?” eyes never leaving her face, trying to judge how that statement blew over.

Frozen in shock as boils over her as she processes what you just said.

“We would have to work on things, of course…that betrayal cut deep…but” taking another deep breath and admitting the truth.

“I’m willing to try and fix this, if you are.” the anxiety in the room was shared between the two of you.

“Really?” disbelief on her lips, the tears sitting on the water line of her eyes threatening to flood down the tracks her previous tears already laid in place for them.

“Really.” nodding your head in reassurance.

Jeongyeon places the box down in front of you, ring facing you and lifts her left hand up with her fingers splayed out, hand shaking from the intensity of the conversation you were having.

Pulling the ring out of the box, you slip it on her finger and admire how it looks on her. Kissing every knuckle she has before releasing her hand and sighing in relief.

“I’m so sorry about leaving…” toying with her ring, looking up at you through her bangs.

“We will get through it…” standing up to sit on her lap again and hug her.

Missing her was an understatement. Being in her arms again made you feel whole in a way that you couldn’t explain, a way you thought was impossible.

It was just her…it was always her.

“…and we will get through it together.” cupping her face and stroking her cheeks with your thumbs.

Leaning in, you kiss her. Soaking up all the love you missed in those three months apart, her lips heal almost every crack in your soul - rejuvenation of your heart in full effect as you lay a few more soft pecks on her lips and then her forehead.

“Together.”

[ratsummer]

💌⭐️ Send this to your emotional support mutuals, who make your day brighter ⭐️💌

Van this for real made my entire daaaaaay I am weeping and smooching youuuu 😭

I am also going to hijack this ask as an opportunity to confess that just yesterday I started drafting a post in my head to all my ghesties here on Tumblr because I have not been as active as I want to and I feel bad! I have been wanting to apologize! I think you are all some of the coolest, funniest, kindest, silliest people and I adore sharing this space with you and I always want to be here to gas you up! YOU guys make MY day brighter literally all of the time!!! And I don't want you all to feel like I am ignoring things you've put time and effort into :c

Also, you all are the ones who have put stories back in my heart <3 I have been so inspired and feeling so creative, I am just the busiest person on earth through summer/early fall so I haven't had the time to dedicate to sharing things with you lovely people c: I try to send little things here or there when I see that one of you need it, but I'd eventually like to be one of the people who has an open ask box for writing little ficlets (what IS a ficlet? vs fic?? vs oneshot??? I'm so old and I've read so much fanfiction and I STILL don't know the differences!!!) on request c:

I feel bad because I really feel like I've been missing out on a lot of what you all have been doing! For real, NEVER hesitate to tag me or send me a message or an ask if you want me to see something/think there's something I'd like!

Anyway thank you again for thinking of me Van and I am thinking of you so much even when I am not being particularly active on here!! Much love from a silly, weepy lil rat <3

[tiger-atlantis]

moja monster

I drew Moja, I don't know what to call it… I decided to make them look like scary monsters that devour civilians

HAPPY APRIL FOOL DAAAAAAY! and happy birthday my cat!

[ageless-aislynn]

Okay, I’ve made myself whittle my Mass Effect: Andromeda Playthrough #1 Romance Options down to three:

Jaal. ZOMG, Jaal has joined the crew and he’s even more my type Sara’s type than I was expecting! He gives off slightly tortured soul vibes to me, kinda blunt, funny but reserved, not the sort to give his trust easily but once you have it? Woooooo boy, he is There For You™ no matter what. Also? Shoulders for daaaaaays. 🔥🔥🔥

Suvi. Only an option for Sara, not Scott. Honestly, I think she’ll get a playthrough of her own with Sara even if it doesn’t turn out to be this one. I just like her, what can I say? I love that she’s managed to reconcile being both a woman of faith and of science at the time. There’s a slightly sad sweetness to her, like she’s been waiting for somebody to really see her for a while now and that she has a lot of love to give to the right person.

Peebee. Sassy and funny but i get the feeling there’s a lot more to her than what she likes to show on the surface. Also an option for Scott, so if she doesn’t get a Sara playthrough, then she’ll probably get one for him. However, every time she and Sara interact, I feel like Sara goes

(imagine screechy dial-up noises to really sell the feeling, lol) when she looks at her, so there’s that. 😂

Also, did you notice? Ya gal got her game capture working! This weirdly wasn’t as easy as it’s been to capture Halo footage. 🤔 The fact that Andromeda is more like ONE GIANT MASS of a game instead of having levels like each of the Halo games makes it much more difficult to note what scenes are coming up or to go back and get cutscenes again. And for some reason, it’s recording in a HUGE size, much bigger than Halo’s, so there’s no way I can just capture the whole game without needing TBs of storage space. 😬 So I doubt I can capture enough to make a ton of GIFs, much less to vid it. Though once I’ve played it through a few times, I may know when to target capturing for certain scenes. 🤷‍♀️

You know, I tell myself that I don’t HAVE to vid every fandom I love but, well, I’m a vidder at heart, what can I say? I like to have the option open at least! 😁👍

Oh, before I forget, I’m about 99% certain that Vetra is going to end up with Scott, so my Turian sweetie WILL get a romance, if not with Sara, then with her bro. Cora is also definitely getting a whirl with Scott. Oh and I thought Liam was an option for either but nope, just for Sara, so I’ve got to give him a playthrough, too! I’m hoping that what I’ve heard is correct, that if you just basically stick to the main missions, you can get through the game in about 10 hours, so that’s not a huge time commitment and will let me get my romance options on both as Sara and Scott a couple of times!

1,000+ hours on the MCC makes 10 hours sound like not a huge time commitment, yep, lol! I’m at 18 hours or so now for Andromeda and while I wasn’t expecting to do much if any of the side quests, I’m actually really enjoying them! It’s nice to have something I can tackle and resolve in a much shorter time than, you know, finishing the entire game. 👀😉

[/end mass effect andromeda update of updateyness] 😛😂💖