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[miracleonice87]

new heights, new news, new baby

part of the kissing kelce universe

a/n: I've come to the conclusion that I will never be organized enough to make this a well-planned, thought-out, sequential series, so I've decided I'm just gonna post things hella outta order and then reorganize them into a chronological masterlist. deal? deal. 🤝 enjoy more daddy-to-be trav and, introducing, supportive uncle jason. takes place the day travis leaves for chiefs training camp.

warnings: mention of pregnancy / babies, mention of anxiety / sadness / loneliness, plenty of crying both happy and sad teras, swearing, I think that's it

word count: ~4,400+

___

July 22, 2023

“Now, before we get into our training camp preview and talk about some expectations for the season, Travis, you had a little something you wanted to say to the good folks at home?” Jason prompted, teeing up his brother on this week’s New Heights episode – the last they’d record before they both left for their respective camps. 

Travis nodded, his blue eyes sparkling. “A little something, indeed, my brother,” he teased. “We have an announcement today, y’all! Alright nah!”

“Some new news, one might say!” Jason added, referencing the beloved segment of their podcast. 

“NEW NEWS!” Travis shouted excitedly. “Yo, can I get a drumroll please?”

Jason immediately started rolling his tongue, pretending like he had drumsticks in his hand. Travis continued, speaking over the sound. 

“This is like, the biggest announcement of my whole entire life. There were points where I never thought I’d be sharing news like this. It’s so crazy that I even get to do this right now. Gah dang. But, uh, anyway, I know we joke around here a lot, but this is a big one, folks, and I-”

Jason interrupted his brother’s emotional rambling, as well as his own sound effects. “Get to the point, please, my mouth is getting tired!” Jason picked his drumroll back up seamlessly as Travis giggled like a schoolboy. 

“Alright, y’all… here we go,” Travis said, rubbing his hands together mischievously. “Mrs. Kelce, would you please come over here, sweetness?” he requested, his voice syrupy smooth as he extended a hand, inviting you into the camera shot. 

Instead of crouching to put your face into frame as you normally would for your occasional brief pop-ins to the podcast, you stood next to Travis’s chair so that only your middle was showing, your stance perpendicular to the camera so the now-round profile of your belly was clearly visible. Jason gasped as if he hadn’t already known the news for months. You rested a hand on the top of your stomach, making it unmistakable what you and Travis were announcing, and he reached his own hand out to palm your bump, which at this point he could still easily do thanks to his impossibly big hands.

He held your free hand in his, beaming up at you, then looked back to the camera. 

“We’re havin’ a baby, y’all!” he shouted, before letting out a “wooooo-eee!”

On the other end of the Zoom, Jason was clapping and whooping excitedly, matching his brother’s energy. 

Travis then patted his lap, inviting you to sit down to, one, get you off your feet and, two, make it so your face was also visible in frame. 

“This is the moment we’ve been waiting for, folks!” you heard Jason boom theatrically as you put on the AirPods Max that Travis had set aside for you ahead of the recording. “Wyatt and Elliotte have been asking every day since they found out what a ‘cousin’ was when they were gonna get one, asking why Uncle Travvy and Auntie don’t have babies like me and mommy, telling them they can take Bennett home with them if they wanted…”

Travis cackled, throwing his head back. “That is a true statement,” he said as he held your hips firmly. 

“1000%, can confirm,” you added, wrapping your own hands around your husband’s. He squeezed your fingers a few times, and you threw him an adoring smile over your shoulder as his brother continued. 

“And we all know Mama Kelce has been hoping for this for years now. So this is obviously something the whole extended Kelce family has been anticipating for a long time, and it’s finally here, and we couldn’t be happier for you guys,” Jason said, tone more serious now. 

“Aww, thank you, my brother,” Travis said fondly, pressing a reverent kiss to your shoulder. 

“Yeah, thank you, Jase, so much. We’re so excited to finally give the girls a cousin!” you said. 

“Now, tell us how this happened,” Jason began. 

Travis cleared his throat. “Well, you see, Jason, when two people love each other very much-”

The older brother rolled his eyes and interrupted. 

“You know what I mean!” he insisted. “Just tell the people however much you wanna tell ‘em.” 

Travis looked to you as if silently asking for permission, and you simply gestured toward the camera. 

“Go ahead, Trav,” you said, a jesting tone to your voice. “I know it’s something you’re very proud of, so please share with the class.”

With that, Travis turned back toward the camera and waggled his eyebrows, getting as close to the mic as possible. 

“Well, folks… we made us a Super Bowl baby,” he said dramatically before letting out his signature cackle. You simply deadpanned to the camera, Jim Halpert-style, and shrugged.

Jason nodded emphatically. “You suuure did,” he said with a knowing laugh. “You knew I was having a kid right after the Super Bowl and you wanted to jump on the train.” 

You and Travis exchanged a devilish glance.

“Yeah, something like that,” you joked, knowing that jumping on Jason and Kylie’s train by conceiving a baby mere days before she gave birth to their third was certainly not your original plan. “I mean, what better Super Bowl souvenir could you ask for than a baby?!” you said wryly, causing Travis to look into the camera haughtily. 

“A Lombardi, a ring, and a kid,” he said, counting off on his fingers. “Alright nah,” he repeated, far too pleased with himself. 

“That’s awesome,” Jason said, still smiling. “Now, how are you feeling? I know it was a tough road there at first.” 

You nodded, and you felt Travis’s hold on your waist tighten protectively, maybe even subconsciously. “Yeah, I was pretty sick there for a few months, couldn’t get ‘out of the house’ a whole lot, much to this podcast’s dismay, but thankfully, that mostly passed when my first trimester ended,” you explained. “We don’t wanna necessarily share our exact due date, but I’ll say I’m well into my second trimester now and I’m feeling good. I’ve gotten to enjoy not only just the relief of feeling better but also the excitement of sharing this with friends and family – obviously, Mama and Papa Kelce, you and Kylie, all my family, and we just started telling the team, too, which has been really fun.” 

“Aww, that’s the best,” Jason remarked. “What was Big Red’s reaction?”

Travis piped up at the mention of his head coach. “Uh, to no one’s surprise, he looked me dead in the eye with the most serious fucking look on his face and said, ‘surprised it took ya this long, son,’” he revealed in his best Andy Reid voice, making you shake your head in amusement. 

“Yep, nope, does not surprise me one bit,” Jason said, giggling. “And what about your boy Mahomes?”

“Aw, man, Pat was so pumped up, and Brittany, too,” Travis replied. “Pat just started runnin’ laps around his kitchen yellin’ ‘let’s go! let’s fucking go!’ He ‘bout knocked me over!” 

“Yeah, those two have tagged us with babysitting duty on the regular for a couple years now, ever since Sterling was born, hoping that we would catch that baby fever and give her a playmate,” you added, laughing as you looked down at Travis. “I can’t say that’s necessarily what happened, but, um, either way, Sterling and Bronze will have another little team buddy to play with here soon which will be so fun to see. Brittany and Patrick have both been so great for both of us, just letting us know kind of what to expect, things that you might not learn in all the books or from your parents who did this a few decades ago. Especially with us all being on the same team, even just getting the lowdown on the logistical stuff, those two are just the best. They’re super excited for us which is just a really great feeling.” 

“No doubt – I’ve got a feeling this will bring you guys even closer,” Jason mused.

“Absolutely – already has,” Travis said. “So, yeah! That’s the big ‘New News’ for today, everybody. We’ve been keeping this on the DL for quite some time, and we just wanted to be able to share this ourselves in the way we choose, because obviously with camp starting tomorrow and the season just right around the corner, cameras might catch some footage of Mrs. Kelce visiting camp, in the stands, whatever, and we didn’t want people to be weird, so… y’all heard it here first!”

“Damn straight,” Jason asserted. “And just one more thing… I wanted to say, before our mom-to-be hops off here. I, uh… aw, fuck, I swore to Kylie I wasn’t gonna cry,” he said, sniffling as he fixed his eyes toward the ceiling, blinking repeatedly. 

“Aww, Jase!” you murmured as you watched him tear up. 

“I’m good, I’m good,” he assured, still sniffling as he continued. In the corner of the screen, you could see your husband beginning to well up, too, and you caressed his thigh soothingly as he sat in poignant silence. “I just wanted to say that when Travis told us the news, that was truly the happiest I have ever seen my brother – and this dude has been drafted to the NFL, he’s been a Pro Bowler, All-Pro, broken so many records, won two Super Bowls. But by far, the happiest and most excited I’ve ever seen this guy is telling us that you’re having a baby. And as his big brother, that just makes me so fuckin’ proud.” 

You and Travis were both pawing at fallen tears by now, and Travis could only manage a quiet “thank you.” You patted his knee and, after a deep breath, shared your own thoughts. 

“Thank you, Jase, and while we’re making each other cry–” both brothers chuckled at that, “–I’ll say that I know Travis is going to be the best dad, not only because of the incredible man and husband that already he is, and the way you both were raised by your own amazing parents, but also because of the example you have set for him, Jason, by being such an awesome dad to your three girls.” You paused and took a deep, shuddering breath, and Travis rubbed your back to calm you. Jason was nodding, tears streaking his face. “So thank you for that, and for all your love and support through everything, and Kylie’s, too. You guys are gonna be the greatest aunt and uncle this kid could ever ask for, and Travis and I can’t wait to watch that.” 

Travis let out a whistle, cheeks, nose, and eyes pink from crying. “Uh, I will never make it through this episode if I add anything more to that, so I will just say, here here, baby girl,” he offered with a laugh. “We love you, brother.” 

“I love you guys, too,” Jason said as he finally regained his composure. “Whew! Yeah, how the fuck are we supposed to keep recording after all that?! Can we just be done? I am emotionally exhausted. I need a nap.” 

As Travis giggled boyishly, you agreed, “I do, too, so I’m gonna leave you guys to it. Thanks for having me, guys; thanks for giving me a baby, Trav; and good luck at camp, Jase. We’ll talk soon.” 

Travis tapped the outside of your thigh pointedly, his frequent way of silently requesting a kiss. You grasped his chin to peck his lips as Jason thanked you and said a final goodbye. 

“Have a good nap, mama,” Travis cooed as you took off your headphones and returned them to their original spot. “Daddy’ll be up as soon as we’re done,” he added playfully.

You laughed and rolled your eyes, shoving his shoulder as you stood up and exited the frame. 

“Oh, Jesus, he’s already calling himself ‘Daddy,’” Jason complained with a weary sigh.

___

Normally, after wrapping an episode, Travis would bound up the stairs and infuse your home with all the leftover energy he had built up during the podcast recording with his brother. One of your favorite things about him co-hosting the podcast, in addition to loving the scheduled opportunity it created for him to connect with his brother, was how buoyant of a mood he was always in after a recording.

But today, the feeling that settled over your household when he wrapped the episode about an hour after your surprise guest appearance was much less chipper.

Today, Travis trudged upstairs to do the one thing he’d been dreading all summer – say his goodbyes to you before leaving for training camp. Though camp at Missouri Western State University was only about an hour from your home in the outskirts of Kansas City, he wouldn’t be home again for five days; instead, he’d be staying on campus with the team and bunking in a dorm. Normally, departing for camp and knowing he’d be spending days on end with his teammates focusing on making themselves better football players excited him, save for a hint of sadness about being away from you, but this particular camp, having to leave his five months pregnant wife at home, he was not looking forward to by any stretch of the imagination. 

When Travis pushed open the basement door, he found you lounging on the couch with your back to him, legs outstretched on the plush cushions as you cradled your bump, some version of the Housewives franchise playing on the TV in front of you. You tipped your head back onto the arm of the couch in order to see him and asked, “how’d it go?” 

He took advantage of your position to rest his thumbs on your cheekbones and give you an upside-down “Spider-Man kiss.” 

“Went great,” he answered curtly, a vastly different response than the pumped-up recap you normally received. “That was the easy part of today,” he added, gazing down at you with his brow furrowed. Even upside-down, he was struck by your captivating beauty, which only tightened the lump already forming in his throat. 

Did he really have to fucking do this?

You groaned, drowning in your own feelings of dread, and sat up, signaling the dogs at your feet to follow your lead. You reached out your hands in order to allow Travis to help you up from the couch and gave him your bravest face as he did so. 

“I’ll walk you out,” you said, feigning confidence. But the crack in your voice when you added “can’t have you showing up late” revealed the crack in your armor, and you watched Travis’s chin drop to his chest, his eyes fixed on his shoes as he forced himself to take one… step… at a time closer to the front door. 

One foot in front of the other, Travis.

You led the way, fluttering your eyelashes repeatedly in an attempt to keep the tears at bay. The dogs circled your feet as you attempted to walk out the front door, and Travis, fearing a fall, whistled and called them back into the house, patting both their heads as he passed.

When the two of you reached Travis’s Range Rover, already packed with all he needed for camp – duffels full of clothes and shoes, an array of video game consoles, deck of cards and set of pong balls for the inevitable team drinking games, and all his favorite snacks, along with a secret handwritten note you’d tucked into his toiletry kit in order to surprise him upon his unpacking – you stood a couple of feet apart, quiet, your husband shuffling his feet beneath him as you shifted your weight uncomfortably from side to side. You gazed up at him helplessly, a rigid, lips-only smile fixed on your face, and he took this moment for yet another reveal, sifting through his shorts pockets to find what he’d grabbed on the way out the door.

“I know this sucks, sweetness, but… I do have a surprise for you…” He dangled a set of keys in front of you which you noticed were not his. 

“New car?” you teased halfheartedly, recognizing the worn key fob to your Porsche after a moment. 

“Mm, not quite, we got a baby on the way, ya know? Gotta save that coin,” Travis teased right back. “I think it’s better than a new car.” 

You raised your eyebrows, staring at him expectantly. He let it marinate in your brain for a few more moments, finally breaking when you threw your arms around his waist, pressing your baby bump to his torso, and whined his name. He beamed. 

“Alright, alright, you know that’s gonna work every time now,” he admitted, giggling. He caressed your jaw with his knuckles and you noticed the glimmer in his eyes. “Listen, I know you’re sad because I’m leavin’, but you gotta get on the road, too… because you gotta go pick up your mama from the airport.” 

You gasped, covering your mouth with both hands. 

“Really?” you whispered after a stunned pause. 

“Really,” he confirmed, nodding. 

You’d only seen your mom once since finding out you were having a baby, and Travis had noticed that your pregnancy had you feeling more homesick than usual. Especially with so many of the Chiefs better halves, who would best understand this phase of your life, having scattered for the offseason, and with Travis’s own mom and sister-in-law living halfway across the country, he felt awful that you didn’t have your mom nearby during this exciting, but unsettling, time. Knowing, too, that you always struggled being apart from him in those first few days of training camp, he had preemptively arranged for his mother-in-law to arrive in Kansas City just as he departed for St. Joseph, hoping that that would alleviate at least some of your loneliness at this delicate time when you were already feeling unusually vulnerable. 

Travis melted when you threw your arms around him again, this time desperately, not jokingly. He rubbed your back, beaming when he heard you whimper, “thank you.”

“Of course, sweetness,” he replied warmly, burying a kiss in your hair. “Anything to keep baby mama happy.”

You giggled, resting your chin on his sternum and tipping your head up to look at him. 

“Yeah, you’re pretty good at that,” you praised, fondness thick in your tone as you rested a hand against his neck. “When does she land?” 

Travis glanced at his watch. “Just over an hour,” he informed you. “So don’t rush. You got plenty of time.” A proud smile slowly stretched across his face as he added, “I got a lot of fun stuff planned for y’all this week.”

Your eyebrows lifted, your excitement building by the minute, and Travis watched your face light up with each word as he continued. 

“You guys are gonna do a spa day tomorrow, got you a suite at the Royals game the next night, then you’re gonna come see me at camp, obviously, because I wanna see Mama, too. And then you’re gonna go run around and do your registry for your baby shower, because she knows all the stuff we’re gonna need, and weeee… do not,” he admitted, laughing. 

The corners of your mouth pulled down as your face contorted, eyes welling with tears, and Travis could see that you were overwhelmed with emotion, humming a laugh as he guided the side of your head to rest against his chest. 

“And that’s why I waited to tell you – because I knew you’d cry every other hour ‘til she got here,” he told you, only half joking, as he hugged you tight.

A giggle bubbled forth from your lips. “You were right, like always,” you said, voice tight, so appreciative of how well this man knew and cared for you. “You’re so thoughtful, Trav, thank you so much.” 

“I mean it when I say literally an-y-thing for you,” he repeated, emphasizing each syllable. “I love you so much,” he said as he pressed a kiss to your forehead. And after a deep sigh, he regretfully mumbled, “And now I gotta go.” 

You pushed away from him slowly, your left hand lingering on his broad chest as he looked down at you with what had to be the saddest expression you’d ever seen him wear. He gathered your hand in his and pressed a lengthy kiss to your wedding rings, then the skin around them. 

“Go be great,” you whispered, smoothing your other hand over his stubbly cheek.

Travis’s eyes closed and he drew a deep breath, committing the feeling of your touch to his memory. With a final squeeze of your fingers, he forced himself to back away and open his driver’s side door. 

As he climbed into the seat, he pointed at you and said firmly, “You and that baby stay safe while I’m gone, alright?” 

You nodded weakly, trailing a hand from the top of your bump to the underside. “We’ll do our best, Daddy,” you promised as he shut his door, the window rolled down. 

At that, Travis’s eyes filled with tears – he had known it was only a matter of time until it would hit him, leaving you for the first time for more than a day since you’d found out you were expecting. And seeing you, hand on your belly, standing in the driveway alone as he started his car and prepared to pull away for the better part of a week… yeah, that did it. 

He blew out a controlled breath through pursed lips, putting every ounce of his will into putting the car in drive and coasting toward the front gate to leave. 

He could see your lower lip quivering even from afar, and it sent a zing of anxiety through his entire being — though he’d never enjoyed saying goodbye, he’d never once felt anxious leaving you for camp. Until today.

“I love you, Mama,” he called out the window, inching slowly toward the gate. “I’ll see you in a few days.”

You nodded. “Okay,” came out in a croak. “I love you, too.” 

“Be good,” he forced out. 

You nodded again, but didn’t trust your voice to allow you to respond with words. You simply waved one last goodbye as he did the same, forcing a signature Travis Kelce smile and wink while simultaneously trying to keep his shit together in front of you.

But as he passed through the gate and down the drive, watching you shrink into the rearview mirror and finally disappear as he turned toward the freeway, his breath caught in his throat and he broke down, tears blurring his vision as he pressed ahead down the familiar route. For a minute or two, he simply let the sobs wrack his body as he swiped at the ever-flowing tears with the back of his hand, letting out the occasional frustrated growl, usually saved for a missed ball in the end zone. As he attempted to calm himself down, he glanced at the recent calls list on his car’s hands-free device.

And, moments later, in suburban Philadelphia… 

Jason hadn’t been off Zoom for more than twenty minutes when his phone rang with a call from his kid brother. Smirking knowingly at the screen, he situated five-month-old baby Bennett in her bouncy seat and tapped the green button.

“Figured I might be hearing from ya,” Jason answered the call.

Sniffling and confused, Travis blinked a few times. 

“You did?”

Jason let out a chuckle. “Yeah, you just said goodbye to her and now you’re, what, three miles down the road to camp?” 

Travis was quiet and rubbed a heavy hand over his face. 

“Five, but… yeah,” Travis mumbled.

Jason hummed as if impressed, gazing at his oldest two daughters who he swore just yesterday could barely hold their own heads up and were now talking animatedly amongst themselves as they dressed and posed Barbie dolls in their prized pink Dreamhouse. “Well, then, you made it two miles further than I did before I called Mom my first training camp when Kylie was pregnant with Wy, so, props.”

“Really?” Travis inquired.

“Hell yeah, dude. It’s the worst fuckin’ feeling,” Jason responded, the sensation still visceral. “Leaving your wife and unborn baby to go live in a dorm with a bunch of sweaty dudes… it goes against every instinct in your body.” 

“Yeah, for real… And I used to love camp, too,” Travis sighed. “I just feel so guilty, man.” 

“I know. But you’re doing it to provide a sick ass life for her and that baby — you’re making sure they’re set for life,” Jason reminded him. “You just gotta focus on that as best you can.” 

The smallest of smiles pulled at Travis’s lips. “That what Mom said to you?”

“Of course — you think I came up with that on my own?” 

Travis giggled at that — the way only a big brother could make you do, even in the midst of misery. 

“It’s gonna be okay, Trav. I promise you,” Jason told him firmly. “You did the right thing flying her mom in; she knows who to call in the off-chance something does go wrong; and… uh… and she knows she’s got our support because she’s calling Kylie right now,” Jason finished, handing his wife’s phone to her as she approached the coffee table where she’d heard it ringing. 

“Is she really?” Travis asked, both relieved and more upset knowing that you, too, were seeking comfort from his brother’s experience with Kylie. 

Jason and Kylie shared a sympathetic glance before she answered your call, and as he walked down the hall out of her earshot to allow you both privacy, Jason replied, “Sure is. And as you know, she couldn’t have picked a more perfect person to lean on right now. This isn’t easy by any means, but we’re here for you guys. So are Mom and Dad, Brittany and Pat, so many others. Remember, this is day one — it does get easier from here.”

Travis trilled his lips as he exhaled, his body already relaxing thanks to his brother’s encouraging words. 

“As much as I hate to admit it, that’s a great point,” Travis conceded. “Thank you, bro. I appreciate you more than you know.”

“Anytime, Trav. Always in your corner. Love you, brother. I’ll check in when I’m back at camp too.”

“I’ll hold you to it. Love you, Jase. Bye.”

[rosemariad]

THE BITTER END | SPN 15x18 DESPAIR: About that Destiel moment in 15x18

Oh boy…the scene that sailed a thousand memes (and counting)…the scene that made us all go feral in the midst of a contentious presidential elections in one of the most disruptive, chaotic years in recent memory (2020 you son of a bitch)

Now i am super late with this since it’s nearly been 4 years since this was aired live on TV and posted like crazy all over the internet BUT…y’all Destiel shippers got robbed. Not just with this scene but the whole Destiel ship in general - just done so dirty.

I started watching this show on and off back in 2021 and I finally got to finish over the summer this year (2024) taking my sweet time, even rewatching certain episodes (for some fanfic writing 😁). I went into this to settle the debate for myself - is this Destiel stuff legit? Or was it taken out of context? Misconstrued.

No. It really wasn’t. They (the powers behind SPN) tried it, tried to pull the wool over people’s heads, with certain fans chiming in (the destiel haters, the homophobes, the anti-mishas, etc.) but no. The SPN showrunners fucked all this up.

From the beginning….

So it’s 15x18 despair - we’re in the last act - shit’s popping off, everything’s going tits up - Billie is trying to hunt Dean down, calling him chaos incarnate. Dean & Cas get trapped in a room with no apparent means of escape or defense - probably should’ve headed for the exit - but I guess since it’s the 3rd to last episode and the execs clearly want things to go back to the status quo 🙄 now’s as good a time as any to cash in on that plot thread from last season and kill Castiel once and for all 😭 (as 1 person pointed out, given the prior context they probably could've just waited Billie out, since them being trapped in that room - Cas was the one that blocked the door anyhow - but I get it SPN showrunners you wanted to get rid of Cas somehow - what a mess)

If you haven’t watched it - here’s where I gasp and scoff in disbelief - please watch it https://youtu.be/l_r9GZeQl1w?si=uVox8PlXByYEYKci

Basically Cas tells Dean he’s the greatest guy he’s ever known, that he fights for love and that Cas lurves Dean 😭 and he’s not the bad things enemies say Dean is. That he’s more than the worst parts of himself - oh Cas.

This was Castiel’s one moment of true happiness - telling the one person whom he adores more than anyone or anything else in the entire universe - that he is loved by Castiel himself.

The confession that triggers Castiel’s demise to go with the empty, takes Billie with him and before Dean can process the massive TRUTH BOMB Castiel just dumped on him, Castiel is gone.

Despair indeed.

They made too many fucking cuts to this scene, at least for Jensen’s coverage. Like if you don’t want Dean to reciprocate…fine. Don’t. But let him fucking respond! Let him use his words. Castiel just told Dean he was in love with him, that is one of the BIGGEST things you can say to somebody in your life. EVER. Especially on TV. And yes it was in love, like romantically. Not platonically because why make such a fucking fuss over fucking platonic friendship! There’s always been a tension between these 2 characters, it hung over between them since season 4. They just made it into a joke, never expecting to get the traction it did over the years. They even tried writing Cas off the show for good back in season 7. But they got stuck with Cas and never really made proper use of him. They literally just waited until the last minute to get rid of him in a way that couldn’t get the show cancelled until that decision had already been made by the network. to make things worse - COVID happened

So don’t tell me the confession doesn’t merit a response, either for or against on Dean’s part - whether he returns Castiel’s affection or not is another story but dammit let Dean speak! How could you not? Cowards!

And Would it be so terrible if Dean did feel something MORE than friendship for the only other individual that has stood by him for so many years? Like really? A relationship doesn’t demand sex (but let’s be honest, Cas probably wanted to fuck the shit outta Dean 🤣) it’s whatever the people in the relationship want! Dean isn’t young by the time s15 rolls around. Older people tend to just want someone to come home to, settle down with. Companionship. Cas fits that to a fucking T. When Dean dreamed of a future, Cas was right there with him (and Sam, cuz Dean always wants his family close as much as he can, given how he grew up).

Couldn’t find a gif of Dean talking about taking some time off after all the craziness of the hunting they do but I’m not crazy I know he wanted it.

The team behind SPN could have finished Dean’s narrative beautifully as man who was driven by fear all his life and opens himself up to a relationship he never saw coming but when the time came he didn’t run because he grew to love more than fear (and choose to live a life of peace after stuck in one of violence for so many years).

This is why Hollywood is shit! Great beginnings, shitty endings. But in this case, it was because they consistently chose NOT to indulge in queer-like narratives with enough care (aside from some other problematic stuff like the treatment towards women being more negative than positive, the inconsistent writing for characters and plot, etc.)

BUT not when it’s the main character 😡 Charlie can be gay AF but not Dean, seriously? That’s fucked. Like at least let him fucking explore/consider it. So people stop watching it who gives AF?! I never even watched the show when it was on air for 15 years, tons of people didn’t. There are still people out there watching SPN for the first time today! People who started but stopped because it’s a show that ran WAAAY longer than any other normally does.

Idk who made it so that Dean couldn’t explore his sexuality or fucked up the Destiel of it all but they SUUUUUUUUCK! You really shat the bed! at least explore it cuz at the end of the day, it may not work out. Gay relationships aren’t that different from straight relationships in that sometimes it just doesn’t work out BECAUSE we’re ALL people. And who knows maybe they could’ve been happy but we’re not allowed to know that canonically because Destiel was never given a CHANCE!

I mean if it was REALLY that big a deal – why introduce it? By making these little suggestions that (in a way that's funny but why would Dean be queer be haha funny - no that's not okay, queerness shouldn't be a joke) furthermore we’re talking about a show on basic cable - all it would’ve taken was fucking hand-holding or the same routine of staring into each other’s eyes like they’d been doing for 12 fucking years already! Just not shying away from the queerness that time. Legend of Korra did it. That 1 Disney show did it (i don’t remember the name). No kissing would’ve been necessary - nice, wishful thinking but not necessary if the kissing became an issue (but seriously it was 2020 man but ofc - that is a year where a pandemic that required social distancing decided to kick in during the final arc of this show) - just so we’re all clear COVID cock blocked Destiel lol jk 🤣

All those times they had Dean & Cas stare into each other's eyes – the forces at work – showrunners, writers, directors AND editors & the network who is showing this to audiences – if its such a big fucking deal - Don't leave it in. By leaving it in, you're allowing people to make assumptions about the relationship – it happens literally every time in every story ever told. You put 2 people in a scene and they're not family (though not always the case) or JUST friends (explicitly proven) there's a chance SOMEONE is gonna wanna ship them no matter how likely it is (OR NOT) they'll hookup or become a couple. That's just how it is. So don't fan the flames and then turn it around on fans that they're wrong, crazy or misinterpreting. If Wincest can exist, so can Destiel and any other ship. That being said, y’all Destiel shippers were ROBBED but I don’t need to tell you that.

I don’t think the relationship would’ve been perfect or smooth sailing - their friendship as it was on the show sure wasn’t. And Dean wasn’t the only one with issues - Cas had some bad qualities too - the angel liked to lie and for a while there he was extremely averse to conflict. And Dean…he gets real fucking angry 😬 not a good mix for a relationship- hell even a friendship.

But the two had a profound bond, with a great deal of affection for one another and that’s what got them through betrayal, fights, amnesia, curses, apocalypses, and all the ugliness in between. They could’ve made it. Or they could’ve just had Cas and Dean stay friends - but we’ll never know since Cas was pretty much omitted after 15x18 - there were references - like only 2 though 😒

Really SPN? 😒😔 so lazy. But sure, go ahead, blame COVID. It’s not like phones exist. It’s not like the actor couldn’t have just recorded Castiel’s voice nope. Totally not an option 🤦🏾‍♀️ same goes for the other characters - Jody, Donna, Eileen - you know all the other characters Sam & Dean cared about but sure - fuck ‘em too. Status quo is the only thing that matters - SMH.

[the-real-aku]

Note: Posting because i kinda like it atm and while I'm not happy with it I'm trying-

~~~

"We deserve a good story before we get too fuckin' pissed to walk straight," Johnny whined.

"Couldn't walk straight even if we held your 'and while sober, MacTavish. I got one, but mnot gonna repeat it after this. Got it?" Ghost stared at Gaz and Soap who gave him a mock salute before leaning on closer to their lieutenant.

"Couple years into the start of 141, was just me n' Price, you and Gaz hadn’t even been born yet-  We got sent to some base in Colorado...Colorado or somewhere around there.  It doesn't matter.  We were doing some glorified hide and seek for a training exercise. Easy enough, good at hidin'." Ghost paused, taking another sip of his glass of whiskey. 

"People forget to look up.  Holed myself up in some sturdy tree, held my weight, and kept me out of sight.  Probably too well.  Had groups of hunting parties pass me looking for others.

"Still,  no one ever looked up.  Got a few good hours of peace and fucking quiet up there.  Even had a book with me.  Dime novel or some shit I picked outta the trash.  It was nice for a shit training exercise.  Until the sun started setting, that's when more of the nocturnal beasts came out.

 "So color me surprised when a half-decent buck bursts out of the bush and slams head-first into my tree. Horns don't stick, doesn't care, it backs up and does the same thing. Over and over. I've seen heads splatter, I've done the splattering. I don't understand what it was trying to do because it kept going until brain matter splattered against the tree and an eyeball popped under the pressure.

"Then it stopped.  Not stopped 'cause it died, not just stopped and stood there before sniffing the ground. I had been holding my breath the whole time. Don't know why, everything told me this was wrong and that I needed to shut up and stay still.  But eventually, it stopped sniffin' and twisted its damn fucking broken neck to look up.  It was quiet but clear, not like anything else was moving anymore not even the wind, and whispered "I know you're there", then ran off.  

“I stayed in that tree the whole night. Pissed myself too.  Didn't care. I wasn't coming down or moving unless someone or thing dragged me down.  They found me there in the morning.  Thought I froze to death.

"They had to get Price to get me to come down from my spot.  Wouldn't say a word to them, which didn't help my situation.  They thought I was 'avin an 'episode', went crazy during the training event, and killed something or maybe even someone from the mess they found around my tree. Who was going to believe that I watched the deer do it to itself?  So I kept quiet as Price and the others escorted me back to base.  Never found it.  But no one ever said anything about it seeing as how I was clean of blood."  

Gaz and Soap turned to their Captain, eyes weary and expectant.  Price huffed, shaking his head. "Yeah, I remember. We had searched for this twat almost all night before some private found'em. He thought it was weird, the tree, and looked up to investigate and came face to face with Ghost's blank stare under his hard plate skull mask. We had two sets of pissed pants after that. When Ghost wouldn't talk about why his hiding place was a fucking mess of bone and meat he had mandatory psych evals for the next month."

[safety-frog]

Froggy Two here!

It has been a minute!

Froggy One and I have been hit with a condition called life… we’re both grad students and time simply slipped away. Hence, the lack of posting and just being around on social media/Tumblr in general. A few comments on one of my stories was the random sign that I realized neither of us has been around in over a year or so. It made me miss Thunderbirds and the Thunderfam like crazy, and when I brought it up to Froggy One, she had the same reaction. I even baked and decorated some Thunderbirds cookies to celebrate having the energy to do more than rewatch old episodes! I ended up colvered in food coloring and frosting so all designs were off of memory.

And so we have returned! Well, at least I have… Life is still hectic and if the past year or two is anything to go by, will result in sporadic updates. Froggy One will probably still be hibernating throughout this upcoming winter but breaks might prove beneficial to getting her active again in the fandom. To ease myself back into writing as a whole, I went through and did a mass cleanup of old Thunderbirds stories and fixed what errors/typos could find. It made me itching to write more the longer I went through my old works. Idea after idea kept popping into my head and so, here I am!

(Also, apparently there were two more playlist posts that never crawled their way out of drafts, so expect those upcoming soon to finish out the playlist series!)

Enough about us, any exciting updates from the Thunderfam we missed out on? Any new faces? Much love to all! 🐸

[negobeauriva]

New Music Analysis Part 1: Souvenir Pop - From Music for Children to Burnt-out Ballads

Last Friday I got to listen to both Joker Out and Käärijä's new albums, and I enjoyed them throughly. I loved the new experiments in music in the case of Joker Out, and the perfect mix of feeling and party music in Käärijä's case.

My friends pointed out some theories as to what stories were being told in each case, and I've decided to write this kind of critic/storytelling post to tell you both my opinions about the songs, the story I think the albums want to tell and how they relate to each other.

This post is about Souvenir Pop, because if I do a single post for everything I want to touch, I'll be here for like a thousand years. I based myself off the translations of @jokeroutsubs to do my interpretations.

People's Champion review will be [here] when I post it, and then the analysis of both [here], when I post it too. Stay tuned and follow me if you want the rest!

Without further ado, enjoy my yapping. And if you are Joker Out or any of their components - you guys are insane for reading all this but I love you.

This album has "discovery" written all over it. Joker Out know who they are - Balkan rockstars that go with their own flow, in a scene where passion is loved only if it's presented in the most marketable way. They are disruptive and unapologetic about it, which is why I love them in the first place. After Eurovision Song Contest, they gained a bunch of fans and started experimentating the hard punches of musical stardom, something that was fairly foreign to them, given the fact that they had never gone out of the Balkan zone.

It speaks about them adjusting themselves to the changes, about how the excitement for the music world became some sort of bittersweet grief they now live with. Let's be honest, they love what they do, and it shows in their music. But there is a hint of sadness, of heaviness to some songs, that I would like to explore a bit further.

I'll also add a "Souvenir" (which I'm also taking in it's literal sense, from the French word for Memory) associated to each song, because I discovered that all the songs in both Umazane Misli and Demoni talk about the theme of their title - let me know if you'd like me to elaborate on that too.

Let's go track by track!

Muzika Za Decu - This ain't rock and roll, this is music for children

A very strong start to the album that's sure to sweep you off your feet. I remember listening to this the first time and headbanging like crazy. In their last album, Demoni, Joker Out had a song called Novi Val (New Wave) in which they described the "Generation of Love" that would change the world and seek for what seemed to be lost. Muzika Za Decu takes this message again, as a "where we left off", and talks about the other side of it. No revolution is made without disruption, after all. It perfectly encapsulates the chaos, the naivety of being young and revolutionary, and of course, how great their music is.

This is the prologue of the story: Joker Out, the disruptive children of Balkan music that lead a revolution, who don't care about what others say and go forward with their ideas. This is their presentation card.

Souvenir: Revolutionary hearts tend to remember the lost values. This souvenir is about remembering good times and keeping them alive with music.

Šta Bih Ja - What would I do in this black night without you?

I'm going to be completely honest, and you all can judge me, but I don't really like this song. It's okay if you do, I see why you like it, but it's not for me. The change of pace at the end is strange for me and the vibe of the lyrics is completely different to what I expected the instrumental to be. Still, I must say that this song is the perfect power anthem when you need a pick-me-up. The guitars are immaculate as usual, and Bojan's voice adds an extra layer of unpredictability and flavor. It's a mini-storm inside a song, packed-full with flavors, like popping candy.

Chapter one of the story tells us about these heartbreakers. Bojan is Slovenia's sweetheart, the boyfriend of the Balkans. The city they might be referencing might be Liverpool, or even every city they've been for the pre-parties. But this paints the picture of the band: Pure rock music, party vibes, and vague love song lyrics. These boys are here to play and have fun.

Souvenir: This song is about the memory of someone who you love at long distance. You take their memory with you to get on by.

Carpe Diem - Let's dance and play until the stars fade

This is a classic. This song was a surprise for me when I saw it in Eurovision, and it struck me like lightning. Admittedly, I did not watch the semifinals last year because I was busy with my admission to law school (which requires you to do a previous course), but when I saw them in the final? I was sold. This is a perfect party song. It deserved so much more than it did. It's fun, it's catchy, it's everything.

Chapter two is about the Eurovision chapter of their life. How they conquered Europe and took it by storm, and how they gained most of their worldwide popularity thanks to the exposure.

Souvenir: The Eurovision Song Contest, the most important night of their lives.

Stephanie - Love ain't built for people like me

This is one of my favorite songs in the album. Bojan's English pronounciation has matured a lot and now it has deep, rich layers of tonality. This song is about finding and losing the love of your life and the despair that you'll never be able to make that connection again. After listening to it a couple times, I realized there's a subtle detail that makes me love the commitment to this song even more - Bojan mentions drinking to forget he lost Stephanie, and through all the song, his voice sounds slurred. His voice inflections make him sound drunk. Pair this with the vintage guitar sounds and the 80's pop beat, and you have the perfect "crying on the dancefloor" anthem for when you've gotten your heart broken.

Chapter Three is about the heartbreakers realizing how ephemeral love truly is, and how you don't know what you have until you lose it. Their switch to fame is bringing things in, sure, but it's also costing them some others.

Souvenir: That feeling of love at first sight, the memory of someone you loved for one night, but wasn't meant to be.

Ako Toga Više Neće Biti - If that won't exist anymore, love is nothing but a lie

A slow song, both beautiful and sad at the same time. Bojan has said that it's easier for him to talk about love in Serbian, and it's completely true. In this song, we can hear the process of a withering relationship, when you realize that you've lost something precious and it's not coming back, no matter how much you want it to. This song beautifully walks you through the five stages of grief and makes you feel like you're floating in the Dead Sea, wondering where all you used to love has gone.

Chapter Four of this story is about wanting to keep everything under control, but ultimately failing. It's realizing that things change inevitably, and dealing with the loss and the grief of things you love. It's wanting to keep it together, but being unable to.

Souvenir: The memories of a relationship you've had for years and now you have to let go.

Bluza - If the sun rises, I'll be alone

I don't know what kind of sorcery Bluza has, but everytime it comes on my random player, I have to stop and listen to it in its entirety (what kind of drugs did they put to that song, really?) and I inevitably cry. This song is just what falling in love feels like. I personally covered this song in my native language (Spanish) and got a nice feedback from Bojan, but that's a story for another time. This song was paired up with a great MV that also told a story of not wanting to lose something precious. I'd say that Bluza is a dream that happens right after Ako Toga ends, coincidentally, those two songs are in the same key and on a similar beat, so they could well be twin sisters. It's dreaming about that person you love, that for a moment you are back where you wanted to be, but knowing that it's just a dream and it won't last. It might seem like a love song, but the final lyrics seal the deal on this only being a fantasy, a place where you find comfort, but aren't meant to stay.

Chapter Five is about ephemeral dreams, and about finding those small pieces of comfort you want to keep but know you can't. This is about them falling in love with cities, crowds, places, but deep down knowing that once the party is over, it's time to go back to the grind, to planning concerts, protecting themselves and trying not to die in the attempt. You can notice the exhaustion on Bojan's voice in some points of the song (which can also be a nice nod to Ako Toga where he says he hasn't slept well).

Souvenir: A dream from which you don't want to wake up from, the warmth and comfort of a place you know you're not meant to stay in.

Lips - True love and pain go hand in hand

The first time I heard Lips, I was overwhelmed. Too much noise, the reverberation of Bojan's voice was more than I could take, and I remember texting my friend "this song needs drums" halfway through. This song has received mixed criticism, and with due reason. Nace was the mind behind this song and I have to say I am impressed. He is a through musician indeed. I've given this song a fresh new listen for this review, and I have to say that I don't dislike it as much as I did the first time, I'm getting used to it. Lips feels like a fever dream, like an overdose with lyrics that try to be about love, but somehow are about tragedy. This is the song I'm the most excited to talk about for some reason. Props to the bass and guitars in this song, by the way. Unsung heros, that paired with Bojan's breathy, silky voice, build a sensual, toxic and dangerous feeling.

Chapter Six is the fall of the rockstars. If I had to pair this song with another, I'd definetely go with Padam (Falling) from Demoni. This song is what comes to mind if you ask me to think about that fatidic Ptuj concert in August 2023, where Bojan had his biggest mental breakdown that forced him off the stages for some time. This is burnout catching up to them and making them realize that they aren't indestructible. The fact that the lyrics try to be about love, but ultimately end up being about despair, makes me think of Bojan making everyone believe he's okay and he can go on, but knowing deep down he can't.

Souvenir: Ptuj concert in 2023, and all the incidents that sent Bojan to the hospital before that.

Mesto Duhov - Music has died, laughter has gone out

This song feels like the opening to a beloved shonen anime. It's a fast paced song, which comes witht he added element of the slow portion that serves as a chorus, which sounds like a funeral march, very adequate for a song called City of Ghosts. The lyrics talk about a town where everything has died and there is nothing left. Where once stood a beautiful city, now there is sorrow and grief, just memories of what once used to be. The themes of loss in this album are pretty strong after you get past the initial euphoria Carpe Diem gave us. The mixture of rock and the haunting funeral song is one of those strange combinations you're gonna crave as a midnight snack. Definetely one of the best songs of the album.

Chapter Seven is reflection on the overdose that Lips put us through. The attempt at rock at moments is the rockstars trying to get back on their feet and give their fans that sound they crave, but when they get back to the funeral sounds, is when they know they can't ignore the pain anymore. The City of Ghosts is not a town, it's a heart, it's a mind, it's the enthusiasm that died out and is starting to fade away and disappear. It's almost like they're questioning if it's worth it to try again. Is the pain superior to the joy, or the other way around?

Souvenir: I associate this with Sunny Side of London. A cheery song that was released right after the storm. There is some sense of recovery, but it isn't quite there yet. At the same time, this is about memories of a familiar place that used to bring comfort but now has dread associated to it.

Sonce - I've lost everything that you called the sun

This is a gorgeous song. I am a pianist myself, so hearing Jan at the keys was very touching. This song reminded me a whole lot of a popular Argentinian song called "Alfonsina y El Mar" (Alfonsina and The Sea) which talks about poet writer Alfonsina Storni and how she left this world by jumping into the sea. This song feels like an elegy, and it ceirtainly is one. As far as I know, this song was inspired by "current social events", and I can see why. This is a song about despair, pure and unfiltered, with no more attempts at rock or love. This song is about fear of darkness, of feeling helpless and worthless in a world that keeps being violent and wild, and being a bystander, unable to do anything beyond singing to bring comfort. This world, this society we live in, is a chaos far beyond what we could imagine or control. The Generation of Love seems to lower their head, cover their ears and ask themselves "When did it get like this?".

Final Chapter is about the rockstars sulking and seeing how everything around them is crumbling down inevitably. The band has had it share of incidents and backlash, and it's been a particularly rough road, mentally and physically. There is a need for musicians to be involved in the world they live in, and when they don't speak up, there is backlash. This is a song where they arrive to a dead point. It seems like this story is not bound to have a happy ending.

Souvenir: Memories of easier times, when everything was a bit less terrible, and the feeling of familiarity that's lost in an everchanging world.

Everybody's Waiting - No one's ever gonna make it easier, you're the only one who can

The perfect final touch for an album that talks about changing world perceptions. The first time I heard this song, I cried, after knowing all that was behind it. Bojan's story with music and balance is not an easy one, not after all that he's been through. A kid who thought he could have the entire world in his hands but ultimately lost balance, tripped and fell. Luckily, Bojan has a support network composed by friends, family and even music producers, who wouldn't let him fall further and did everything in their power to bring him back up. Everybody's Waiting is a cathartic song that gives perfect closure to a cycle of self-torture and doubt. While it might not seem like a victorious or happy song, it's definetely a way to celebrate you made it out alive. By acknowledging the feelings of loss and the pressure he is in, Bojan was able to finally get it off his chet and realize he's not alone. And with this release, he sent a message to all of us who are in the dark and feel like they are lost - You are not alone. If he can make it out alive, you can. And there is no shame in asking for help.

This Epilogue is about finding balance, and the rockstars realizing that this world isn't perfect, nor is how they expected it to be. Everybody is waiting for them to do something good or bad, because anything goes in a world where talk runs cheap and fast. Everyone wants them to always shine and be perfect. But as much as they try, they can't always be perfect. This song is them embracing the fact that there might be expectations, but it's okay to take a break if necessary even if you don't meet them. The only one who can make your life easier is yourself. If you choose to hold out that hand and let someone reach it, if you choose to set boundaries and keep what's worth close to your chest, you'll be making your life easier. Just like that. It doesn't have to be a long journey. Just a step is enough.

Souvenir: Everybody's Waiting release. I also want to add Ptuj 2 because I feel that was the real moment where Bojan closed that chapter, by returning to that stage he once was frightened in, and now being able to be himself to a crowd that would not judge him. This is about closure, about accepting memories as they are.

Final words

Overall, this album has a great storytelling pace. It tells a story beautifully in very well told chapters, and it sums up perfectly the rollercoaster Joker Out has been through. It's very notorious that they have grown up as musicians, and the variety of music styles is proof of that. This is a perfect CD to show to someone who wants to see a newer face of the Slovenian boys who conquered Eurovision, even though they did not touch top 10. Not all losses are defeats, definetely speaking. I cannot wait to see what else these boys have in store, and I definetely want the album release tour to start already because I am very, very sure that the live performance will add just the perfect touch to cement these songs as masterpieces.

Overall rating score of the album: 8.5/10.

[grimmylover7]

Tag: 5 Songs: 3 Outfits

The lovely @skoll-sun-eater tagged me in this and it was way more difficult than I expected it to be!!??!

I'm not even sure who to tag so i'm just gonna throw some random @'s all over the place and if you see yourself pop up, and you've already done it, just tag me on that post. I'm an idiot XD

@duskvivie @thehautecouturewhore @capriskunk @imgnnafurgf

Rules: Post 5 songs associated with your OC(s), followed by 3 outfits they would wear.

First up:

Eden "Rook" Davis:

"Can't Tame Her" by Zara Larsson

"And you can't tie her down When the night comes around Said she gonna party all night (all night) And you can't change her Can't blame her, can't tame her Can't tame her magic energy She's so magnetic, pulls you in every time (every time)"

______________________________________________

Take Me Back To Eden by Sleep Token

"My, my, those eyes like fire I'm a winged insect, you're a funeral pyre Come now, bite through these wires I'm a waking hell and the gods grow tired Reset my patient violence along both lines of a pathway higher Grow back your sharpest teeth, you know my desire

I will travel far beyond the path of reason Take me back to Eden"

______________________________

Cherry Wine by Hozier

"Her fight and fury is fiery Oh but she loves Like sleep to the freezing Sweet and right and merciful I'm all but washed In the tide of her breathing

And it's worth it, it's divine I have this some of the time"

________________________________

FREAK by Demi Lovato

"Pinch me, singe me, inch me to the edge Prod me, laud me, ungodly but heaven sent

Get your tickets to the freak show, baby Step right up to watch the freak go crazy

I am what I am and what I am is a piece of meat Take a bite just to watch me bleed, freak"

____________________________________

Wasteland by Seether

"I remember the way you left me broken Don't shed a tear for me Nobody seems to be willing to save me from purgatory Nobody seems to be able to shed the treadwheel"

Outfit ideas/Inspiration (Not mine btw, all found on pinterest)

She prefers to cover up because of the scarring. Tight fit clothes if possible. Head to toe. Maybe bare arms but even that's pushing it. She likes rough material too, something to scratch at her skin to bring sensation back in places were nerve damage left her numb.

ALRIGHT NOW:

Victor Cain:

Just Pretend by Bad Omens

"I'm not afraid of the war you've come to wage against my sins I'm not okay, but I can try my best to just pretend

I can wait for you at the bottom I can stay away if you want me to I can wait for years if I gotta Heaven knows I ain't getting over you I know the pain that you hide behind the smile on your face And not a day goes by where I don't think I feel the same"

__________________________________________________

The Summoning by Sleep Token

"Oh, and my love Did I mistake you for a sign from God? Or are you really here to cut me off? Or maybe just to turn me on 'Cause these days I would be lying if I told you that I didn't wish that I could be your man"

__________________________________________________

Just A Cloud Away by Pharrell Williams

"So What? You've blown a fuse? Well that happens to us all. Well, I come with great news. The day could change, change, change, change. We've all, of course, been there before Been there, crying, fighting, the dark. Let good energy be your strong - Wont get away-way-way-way This rainy day is temporary."

____________________________________________

Lighthouse Keeper by Sam Smith

"Yeah, I see you looking, Looking for a sign Praying for a beacon, So here's the light My arms will be wide open For the moment you arrive, arrive When you set sail on your journey And happiness is far away Love will guide you 'til the morning Lead your heart down to the bay Don't resist the rain and storm I'll never leave you lost at sea"

_________________________________________

How Far We've Come by Matchbox Twenty

"I'm waking up at the start of the end of the world, But its feeling just like every other morning before, Now I wonder what my life is going to mean if it's gone,

Well I, believe, it all, is coming to an end Oh well, I guess, we're gonna pretend, Let's see how far we've come"

Outfit Ideas/Inspiration:

Victor is a layers kind of dude unless he's in gear. Then it's bulky enough for his tastes as is. He likes feeling weighted down. Definitely owns a weighted blanket somewhere lol

So yeah, here my Deputies, I hope this is informative to my precious babies in Chokehold because they are both dweebs and in need of loves <3 Thank @skoll-sun-eater for the tag!!!!

[mcyoosungau]

Intro Post!

Heyyy! I’m a MysticMessenger fan and like most I somehow got obsessed with it since December of 2018, 5 years! (Almost 6 soon!) Somehow despite being a bit crazy about this game for a long while I haven’t really interacted with the fandom that much. Yes I liked art of it and followed the Cheritz accounts but never really posted art I’ve made or rants about the characters. I’ve only really talked to my one close friend about the game.

Which led to me coming up with this idea, what if Yoosung was the MysticMessneger Mc? This idea popped into my head randomly when talking to my friend and I had said that out of everyone Yoosung would’ve made the best Mc replacement!

So, what is Mc Yoosung au? It’s right in the title! Essentially it’s an au where Mc doesn’t really exist and Yoosung takes up the title of Mc! I know you prob have so many questions but this is just the intro post. I will be posting about the general idea and story lay out soon and I maybe already have when you’re reading this! (Make sure to check the Mc Yoosung au tags for all posts relating to the au!)

As for me you can just call me Sky (He/Him), won’t say too much about me personally but I am an artist sooo expect art for this au! For example the pfp for this account I made and is based off the generic built in pfps in the game!

Thats all for now, will be posting about the general info for this au soon!

[aihoshiino]

how did you get into Oshi no Ko? just by the anime?

I think I might've told this story on Tumblr before but I don't remember to what extent so I'll just retell it from the start: insane as it's going to sound coming from fucking tumblr user ai "oshi no posting" hoshiino, I originally got into the series pretty much when it first started and bounced off it really hard!

I have a surprisingly clear memory of how I first found it, too – it was by total coincidence, I was on Bato reading something else and I saw the volume 1 cover pop up and even on a thumbnail level, it just caught my eye and really intrigued me and I went in totally blind. I tore through that entire first volume over the course of like an hour and came staggering out like... the hell did I just read???

The funny thing is, I accidentally fucking documented my first exposure to the series totally by coincidence, not really expecting it to be something I stuck with but just wanting to share this baffling curiosity with my friends so I can literally tell you down to the date when I first came across it

August 7th, 2020!!!! Like, weeks after volume 1 dropped in Japan, lol. And yes, it is extremely fucking funny to see this three year old post from me talking about not being into the series with my current day Oshi no Brainrotted screenname and pfp. We call that growth, baby!

I won't share the rest of the post because it's basically just me recapping volume 1 to the bafflement and confusion of my friends (some of whom themselves went along to become Oshi no Sickos with me lol) but it is again really funny and jarring to see my past self talk so dismissively about a piece of media that has come to be so deeply important to me, but there are definitely some burgeoning signs of me being an Ai Wife Guy in the future with the way I completely slowed down and so lovingly and tenderly talked about her baggage... you've got a big storm coming, bitch!!!

Like I said up top though, I didn't really click with the series even though I followed the fanscans for a surprisingly long time considering I felt really 'eh' about it. In hindsight, I was going in expecting the series to be completely off the wall crazy, constant twists and turns and status quo fucks and when it pointedly wasn't and was never intended to be that, I got kind of confused. Honestly, I think fucking Shonen Abyss is basically what I was expecting Oshi no Ko to be and it was never intended to be that!

I have another weirdly vivid memory of when I dropped it, too, though I don't remember the date exactly – I do remember the chapter, though and it was chapter 60! I wasn't clicking with Tokyo Blade at all and felt like it was kind of plodding and while I dropped it then, I really distinctly remember that final panel of Akane's all-consuming performance and commenting on the chapter that I felt like the story had gotten really boring and getting my ass absolutely thrashed in the Mangadex comments as a result LOL.

The series kind of faded out of my head after I dropped it and I lightly followed the news of the anime premiere when it was announced but I didn't really think anything else of it until I saw the positive buzz and saw friends I thought would be dismissive of it check episode one out, I went "eh, sure, I'll give it a try"

... Uh, I guess the results speak for themselves...

So while I technically didn't get in via the anime, the anime was really important in getting me invested in it! The anime's rendering of Ai and Rie Takahashi's absolutely godlike performance as her were sort of the extra pieces I needed to make things click in my brain and for me to get into the right headspace to get fully fucking engulfed by the series. It's funny how you really do have no idea what sort of things will end up touching you and how deeply at the end of the day, huh?

[500days-of-autumn]

11:22 pm, 21st of dec ‘24

Years have already passed since my first blog post. It’s crazy how fast time has flown, and yet, I can still remember the exact moment I decided to start this account — with the help of a friend I’ve never even met in real life (missing her extra today!). And here I am, still writing, still reflecting, still moving forward.

It's odd to think how something as simple as starting a blog could turn into a marker of time in itself.

I also just finished watching Lovely Runner, a series centered around the idea of time and the beauty that lies within it. It made me realize how our actions revolve around the idea of making the most out of everything because we’ve been told to believe that, although time is infinite in itself, our time isn’t.

We often label ourselves as productive or lazy based on a simple measure: what time we wake up. A productive day is one where we get up early, check everything off our to-do list, and squeeze in as much as possible. If we sleep in until 11 AM, we feel like we’ve somehow failed. We pack our days so full, as if time is a resource to be hoarded, used up efficiently. Even in pop culture, movies often revolve around the idea of having limited time, with the protagonist making extra efforts to stop it from running out.

The idea of time as something fleeting and irreplaceable does feel like a heavy weight at times, urging us to rush through life, as if we’re running out of it. Time has always been associated with the idea of beginnings and endings. We measure our lives in moments: the start of a race, the sound of an alarm clock, the countdown before a big event. We record time, marking its passage with every new second. Even this post of mine is tethered to a moment in time — it’s a record, a snapshot of where I am right now, in this fleeting instant.

Minutes ago, I found myself reading old letters for me from people who were once, and still are, part of my life. I admit that it made me tear up, reading how they saw me six years ago, and how, even now, I still relate to their words. Most of them are people I’m not close with anymore, and some have been completely cut off from my life. In fact, I can count the number of people remaining in my life on my own hands.

Just thinking about it now, I don’t think that the 16-year-old me would have ever imagined how much I would value those letters post-teenage years. I don’t think she even thought about how grave the changes in her life would be, or how time would fly so fast that she wouldn’t even realize the changes until she stumbled upon these half-decade-old letters to remind her of how quickly time went by.

One common theme that stood out in the letters was how many of my friends didn’t expect to be close to me, just like the people I’m with now. They expressed their love for me, often saying how selfless I was — that I put others first, even at the expense of myself. Maybe it’s just who I am, a people-pleaser who always does more than what’s expected. But reading these words now, I can’t ignore how much I've become aware of this pattern.

I see it, I feel it, but that awareness hasn’t led me to take action. It feels like I’m stuck in a loop of self-awareness that doesn’t quite translate into change.

Sometimes, being aware doesn’t equate with wanting to do anything about it.

For some reason, I thought: Have I always been like this ever since?

I’m trying to work on it, though. It’s a strange realization to be reading these words at a point in my life where I am consciously distancing myself from others, wanting to prioritize myself now. It’s like the very things I was praised for back then — my selflessness, my ability to care — have now become the things I need to work on changing.

The irony isn’t lost on me: I’ve gone from being the person who gave everything to everyone else to someone who is now actively pulling away, trying to find balance. And it feels a little crazy to think about how much I’ve shifted.

What’s even more jarring is how much comfort I found in those letters, though they come from people who no longer walk through my life. If someone were to ask me how I feel now, I’d say I feel self-pity. The person they admired back then, the one they believed in, is now stuck in a place where she doesn’t feel the same way about herself.

I find it ironic that I’m holding on to words from people who aren’t even part of my life anymore, but it’s as if I’m grasping at any remnants of validation I can find. My avoidance of others has left me with no one to talk to, and I feel the weight of that loneliness.

And I find it crazy that those letters are evidence that, although changes happened around me, they still didn’t happen within me. Everything changed, but I didn’t.

Maybe that’s the deeper truth we tend to ignore: in the end, time is an invisible force that will pass, no matter how hard we try to hold onto it. The real beauty lies in accepting that it’s fleeting, embracing the uncertainty, and allowing ourselves to experience those moments fully — not just trying to make them “worth it,” but letting them shape us in ways we don’t always expect.

[crimsun-n-clover]

the dalia chronicles continue

this is gonna kill me. this is gonna fucking kill me.

there are these random private personal accounts following me now that are followed by her. by the looks of it, they’re her friends. like i said, they’re private and i’m not risking that shit no matter how much the curiosity is eating me alive.

seeing as i’ve had to hold mickey by the scruff of her neck about all of this, i’m adding this to the evidence pile. if i’ve got feral meddling friends trying to find her, maybe she’s got feral meddling friends trying to find me. not that it’s for sure or even totally likely, but that’s just the impression i’m getting.

dalia is so interesting to me. i’ve just been staring at her posts and the things she says, studying her for my own amusement, and i feel like she’s doing it back. this has never happened before.

is she fucking with me? i feel like she’s fucking with me. i’m fucking with her a little ngl but what do you expect from me yk. i’m used to fucking with people and waiting for a reaction, but she’s not reacting. she’s pushing back. i feel like a bug in a jar what the FUCK DUDE

but at least there’s sticks and leaves n shit in the jar. so i can like. stalk her spotify and pinterest and all that.

i’m so CONFUSED. if i knew her irl this would be so much easier but i would also be fucking insane yk? i’m glad there’s not another weird freak pretty girl in my vicinity because that doesn’t end well for me, but i wish i could interact with her in more ways. why can’t i just stand around looking hot? that’s what i usually do. and it seems like what she does too. and it’s working but we’re not fuckin getting anywhere.

i’m trying to drop hints and push her into saying something. i don’t know what i’m waiting for but i’ll know when it happens. i keep posting on my note stuff about her without saying it’s about her. currently it’s “wtf is wrong with her (i need her so bad)” bc she posted this morning that she bought a blowtorch. i stand by that statement. i’ve posted songs too. it was mechanix by megadeth a couple days back and i can always write that off as a bangin song about sex and cars but i posted the later verse. so. hopefully that fucked with her significantly.

i called my nana for her birthday a couple weeks back and she was on me about not having a girlfriend. 68 year old country baptist woman. up my ass about getting bitches. posted about it and dalia liked it immediately. two hit KO right fuckin there man.

she keeps posting photo sets of herself to songs i like and it’s driving me insane. most gorgeous woman in the world regularly posts these little spreads of artfully done photos. like. amazing lighting and composition. to songs I LIKE. and i have to reply “omg i love this song” or “the contrast on these is so cool” instead of asking her if she wants me on one knee or both because i’m down for whatever she wants

i think she’s mainly into me physically so i’m leaning toward both knees. not that i mind. we don’t know each other well enough for me to be offended by her probable lack of attraction to my personality. plus, i have friends with great personalities i would hook up with and i still don’t want to be anything more than friends. but doesn’t that make this even more confusing??

look. she maybe said that she wanted to make out with me. i’m happy to just be a mouth to her honestly. fine by me. i’d like to think she’s a bit more than that to me, but i know it’s just fascination causing the infatuation. we’re not even friends really. she’s someone my friend put in a group chat because of a shared interest and i had to go off and act like this over it. it could’ve been anyone. i’m just fucking bored and this is the most amusement i’ve gotten in ages and it’s messing with my head.

in fact, im so fuckin bored that when those batshit crazy tarot readings pop up i watch them and sigh dreamily.

bro. if this keeps going im begging that someone sends me to the glue factory

“STOP IT THIS ISNT YOU” —me looking in the mirror after thinking thee most pathetic gay thought imaginable

[yessadirichards]

Grammy Awards host Trevor Noah on why to tune in, being nominated and his post 'Daily Show' life

NEW YORK

Trevor Noah is ready to face one of the toughest audiences of his career — the millions watching as he once again hosts the Grammy Awards.

“It is easily the most nerve-wracking thing that I do, but I love it every single time," Noah tells The Associated Press ahead of Sunday's telecast. "Each year there’s a new highlight and a new moment that is embedded into my memory.”

The 2024 Grammy Awards will air live on CBS and Paramount+ from the Crypto.com Arena in Los Angeles. The telecast — with SZA having a leading nine nominations — will be Noah's fourth consecutive hosting gig for the awards.

He said he's looking forward to the live performances, especially ones by nominated artists Burna Boy, Billie Eilish, Dua Lipa and Travis Scott.

“I always love seeing artists who have an innate understanding of how different and powerful the live experience is, and I think Burna Boy is one of those artists,” Noah said. “He really excels in transforming live energy into a special moment in time.

“Billie Eilish has never given a half-hearted performance. Every time she’s on stage, it feels like watching a vignette from a classic film. It’s really thought-out and beautiful. I think Dua Lipa is one of the best pop performers of our lifetime. She does a fantastic job for this generation. Travis Scott is definitely going to be doing something crazy, so we should get ready for that. I would tune in because I think it’s a good mix of predictably amazing and then unpredictably amazing as well.”

The comedian, best known for hosting Comedy Central’s “The Daily Show” from 2015-22, just won an Emmy Award for best talk series for the last season of the show. He previously won one in 2017 for hosting a spin-off show, “The Daily Show — Behind the Scenes,” which was voted outstanding short-form variety series.

Noah is not only a host this year — he's also a nominee, with his comedy album “I Wish You Would” up against “I’m an Entertainer” by Wanda Sykes, “Selective Outrage” by Chris Rock, “Someone You Love” by Sarah Silverman and “What’s in a Name?” by Dave Chappelle.

“I’ve looked into all the Grammy bylaws, and there’s nothing that says being the host will give you any leg up in winning the award,” Noah jokes. “I think Dave Chappelle is the favorite because he’s always the favorite, and rightfully so.”

If that happens, don't expect Noah to be complaining that he lost the Grammy to Chappelle or that it's the second time he's lost a best comedy album Grammy to Chappelle.

“I’ve looked into all the Grammy bylaws, and there’s nothing that says being the host will give you any leg up in winning the award,” Noah jokes. “I think Dave Chappelle is the favorite because he’s always the favorite, and rightfully so.”

If that happens, don't expect Noah to be complaining that he lost the Grammy to Chappelle or that it's the second time he's lost a best comedy album Grammy to Chappelle.

“I don’t understand how people live in a world where you can lose something that you never had. I’ve never won a Grammy. I don’t have a Grammy. Unless Dave Chappelle comes to my house and takes my Grammy. I can never lose the Grammy to him,” he says.

Award show hosts have had a rough few years, with The Slap marring the Oscars in 2022 and comedian Jo Koy getting critically panned at the Golden Globes earlier this year.

“In my head, it was always hard being a host. I always assumed anything could happen. I guess the very nature of comedy has always felt like that for me,” says Noah. “I never blame an audience. I might not enjoy an audience, but I never blame an audience.”

Harvey Mason Jr., president and CEO of the Recording Academy, has got Noah's back, calling the comedian “a total pro” as host.

“There’s never a hesitation, never a hiccup. There’s never a stumble. Second of all, he relates so well to the artists and to the music community in my mind, because he’s a fan and he’s an appreciator and a lover of music,” says Mason.

Noah says he's enjoying his life post-"The Daily Show," which includes hosting the interview podcast “What Now? with Trevor Noah” which has attracted the likes of Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson, Bill Gates, Kerry Washington and DaBaby.

“I’m trying to build a platform where I get really comfortable and people get really comfortable having honest and open conversations with each other,” says Noah. “We’re in a little short supply of that compassion for each other as human beings."

[hav-vok]

cross posting from the wrong blog.

Oct 5

I'm not okay with my body image right now because I have to pack for Disney and the weather is warmer than I expected so I can't just hide in a big hoodie and I wanted to look cute but I just don't think I'll look cute or nice or anything other than a big fat blob of awful and I really don't want to ruin this with a fucking breakdown about how fat I am and how none of my clothes fit.

and the worst thing is I have no one but S to talk to this about. I have no girl friends I can't just pop up and say I feel like crap hype me up and help me find something fun to wear. I've never understood those scenes in coming of age films where the girls are all sat around in one room trying on each others clothes and doing each others hair. I never got that. I've never had anyone like that. I've never had a best friend that way. I've never even had a friend that way. not for 15 years.

half my life. half my fucking life I've not had friends to confind it and talk about this with and work through the trauma of societies expectations with. half my life. the half where it's mattered. no one cares as a kid. a little kid. but man as soon as you're aware of what this fucking world has its eyes on and what it deems is good and right and everything is it banishes as wrongs it's just traumatic trying to do anything else with that .

and now somehow I'm meant to have dinnerrmmmmmmsurbdn

I broke and nearly threw my phone so I dropped it and punched my leg lots instead.

I'm great. I'm good. I'm doing absolutely fine. about to go on the holiday of a lifetime apparently. what a delight.

Oct 6?

I keep opening and closing social media. like someone opening the fridge again to see if new food has magically appeared.

I realised that when I say friend, in most cases I think I should say acquaintance. because they're not friends. we were tied by a common place and most of our conversation rotated around that common place. maybe all I get are acquaintances. and I need to be okay with that level of relationship somehow.

Oct 8

so today I get on a plane for the first time ever and no matter how much I try I can't freak myself out about it which is good I guess. everything will be fine and it'll be so much fun and such a delight ✨

I'm sat in an airport waiting for a plane to arrive. it's ten minutes late which is wild but hey ho.

security was stressful and wild but nevermind I got through with only one misshap which for my first time isn't too bad.

getting random pain in my left toes though and knees hurt occasionally, and a slight headache which I blame on stress and stimulation.

Oct 12

so we'll Disney was a big ball of surreal crazy

idk why but mornings were not good for me. next time we go away like that I need to prepare for mornings better.

yesterday I felt quite bad, waves of sickness if I stood for too long, sharp pains in my stomach and guts. felt better if I sat for a while. didn't feel good enough to eat so I had a small yogurt, a few mouthfuls of lunch (cauliflower and pork mostly) and an apple when I got home. not lots of water either but I just didn't feel good. also got to experience a wheelchair for the first time ever, useful but not hugely.

feel a little icky today still but I'll try and eat nice plain foods here and see how it goes. Sam is out to work all afternoon so if I end up sitting in the bathroom then that's what happenes.

Oct 15

bs: weak+tingly hands, sore feet, achy hip R, little snotty, sleepy, weepy eyes, sore L shoulder

ms: flat, concerned about money this month

went to bed about 11ish last night, don't remember taking the hoodie off, don't remember S coming to bed, woke up a couple times during the night, once where the roof of my mouth was intensely itchy so I had some CBD , went back to sleep till S alarm at 8.40. 9.5 hours ish maybe ? obviously still tired from travel and Disney. but back at work today.

Oct 16

bs: mild cramps, can't tell if ovaries or intestines. L hand bad pins and needles during night, especially 3rd finger. sleepy

I was very snotty yesterday, and a bit coughy and had several long sneezing fits. I took some meds and went to work and it seemed to clear up. wondering if there's some dust or mould or something that affects me in my studio room. but it's so small and compact I don't really know how to go about changing that, since I have so much stuff. and things in this house get mouldy even in the warmer months let alone over winter when it's damp. oh to have central heating.

[nikonladyz4]

I agree with both Anonymous and Not-goldy. I started a post last night about this situation (I fell asleep and my draft disappeared 😩). I posted how JK searches TikTok and watches videos on himself, Jimin, Jikook, Minkook, Vkook. There was no way he accidentally saw the Jimin/jikook site he followed. Now he may have accidentally followed, but I don’t think so. I think he did so intentionally for a short period like he posted the tictok I go the other way video and then deleted.

First off, I want to say I am a staunch Jikook supporter. I believe they have been telling us they are together for years. The have been more bold in past years, but had plausible deniability because of the k-pop methodology of using fanservice, skinship and shipping as a marketing strategy. The ultimate clue to their commitment was enlisting together.

However, if one notices, I think all three play up the shipping wars, especially every time one of them has a promo or release of new content.

To Anonymous’ point, JK and Tae really seem to stir the pot, with each other and with Jimin (vmin-Friends/Fri(end)s). Yet, Jimin plays up the shipping of JK and Tae as well. When he released the golden listening party photo of Tae hanging all over JK, tkkr’s swore Jimin supported their ship. On JK’s birthday when he lamented not seeing or speaking with JK on his birthday, he set the tkks on fire. Jimin emphasized he lived alone and went weeks not leaving the house except for work. Now, we know better (JM and JK spent plenty of time with each other at home, when not promoting), but he says that giving hope to the tkks. He seldom played up his relationship or the ship with JK except during his infamous live with JK after NY and releasing the bare back photos of both of them on JK’s birthday. He goes to Tae’s fanmeet and is all huggy/lovey dovey (but, he did support ALL members in person) and feeling Tae up during the last live all four did in December. So yeah, they all play the shipping game. Unfortunately Jimin seems to catch the most hate.

I also agree with Not-goldy’s response to Anonymous. I don’t think any of them really care about the shipper’s fighting each other or the hate Jimin receives and to a lesser extent Tae and JK. They are all friends and don’t control what fans do. Fan reaction and behavior is on the fans. The fan wars have no bearing on their personal life. Jimin and JK more than proved this when they went to Japan together in spite of the death threats and concerted effort from antis to harm their reputations with the military. They did not care what the fans would say when they decided to enlist as companions.

Bottom line, Jimin and JK appear to be partners. We will never know 100% unless they announce they are in a relationship. We all know they can’t do so while in or when military service was pending, and they really can’t until BTS finishes their major comeback in 2025. Because of the conservative society they live in, they most likely will never announce they are partners, but they may openly, but quietly live together. Why would we expect more when heterosexual celebrity couples seldom announce when they are in relationships? For example, Tae and Jeannie’s soft announcement with their stroll in Paris. We see how bad that went and Tae does not acknowledge her publicly while Jennie continues to hint things on her IG page. So Tae plays to the ships and him being queer. We all know the fan culture is crazy about Korean celebrities dating.

I circle back to all three play into the soap opera of shipping with each other to PROTECT their private relationships. A side benefit is the money the company makes behind it.

I am interested in your thoughts about my opinion. Could I be on the right track or completely veering off course?

Why do I feel we're being played? Like these grown men get bored, hop online, decide to cause chaos & dip just to watch the timeline burn. SIGH And when it happens here go shippers arguing the same thing. My ship is real. No mine is. Jk's telling us something. No he's telling us something. Tae's telling us something. No he's telling us something. Same copy/paste argument. Tae drops a song Friends knowing he has Friends with Jimin with his sus obsession writing songs for Jimin in the past, while posting a Tk account to his IG and its Vmin vs Tkk. Not to be outdone by Jk who likes a Tk edit, while simping over Jimin in comments and its Jkk vs Tkk. And everyone knows they're fighting the same argument but don't care. What are you doing? Stop it. And I hate to call them out, but its Tae and Jk the ones for several months specifically engaging with shippers on both sides.

All I gotta say is Jimin baby, keep minding your business, you're doing amazing, sweetie. Now because of that follow & unfollow from Jk on an account with Jimin's name, he is the one being mocked. Not even 2 seconds after they realized Jk unfollowed that account, the mocking & name calling started. If I were Jimin I'd snatch that damn phone outta Jk's hands and tell him to start paying closer attention to stuff regarding me. That man is just trying to serve his time in peace & Jk caused him to catch a stray cause he can't stay off Jimin pages. Lord have mercy.

Fascinating

Wish I was bothered😩😩😩😩😩😩🤣💀

Jikook do worst things than this.

If he unfollowed its cos someone made him aware he'd followed and was creating a mess in the Fandom. To that person I say- snitches get stitches 🔪

But if it's content he's consuming does it even matter?? Bro watching himself gawk at Jimin while Jimin bringing him to edge of nutting- does it matter if he likes or follows the account?

We've been saying for years those two a very much aware of the shipping narratives the gay expose and they don't care- unlike straight celebs who get so offended they start staying away from eachother and roasting eachother.

Watch Jungkook knowing damn well just how gay we think he and JM are with eachother come out and say his favorite moment from MS was a night he and JM slept arm in arm naked to keep themselves warm. Watch him come out to say he's limping cos JM manhandled his balls.

When I tell yall he knows what he's doing when he says things like this bite mark on my neck is from Jimin or let's eat Ramen or Jimin can handle all this.

He can't stay off JM pages sounds about right.

Let me not catch anyone throwing Jimin in the mix dude drinking water staying hydrated and working out his glutes

Hold on brb

[bl6ckr0s3]

Updates on Drama

So what I was thinking about earlier today was about how Wilma told me she didn't have the heart to leave my son. Well, good for my son, but bad for her. It's not right to stay in a toxic relationship because of the children. Wilma thinks that Ricky has changed and is treating her better. Yeah, for how long before he starts doing the same shit all over again? When Ricky was gone for 2 weeks, she was going crazy and venting to me. Since he came back, she's back to being quiet again. I'm relieved that my son still has a great person taking care of him while I won't be there for awhile. I'm just concerned when Ricky is going to pull the same shit again. He's been cheating on her at least twice majorly. We shall see how much longer she can handle until he hurts her again. I have no faith that he can ever change. Many people would call her a weak or a dumbass for staying in such a bad relationship. Even with Cait's readings, she see's that they won't last very long. When he ends up hurting her again, and she comes back crying to me for advice or to vent to again, I'm going to be like, well you already know what he's capable of, what he has already done to hurt her and the others in the past, but she made the choice to still stay with him. It's on her......

Another drama I want to bring up was the drama between Lex Wolfe and her drummer girlfriend, Shaina. Right when Josh & I left Cali, they got pissed off about it. Lex acted like Josh fucked her over because she seem to have enjoyed being part of his band, but the thing is that she's got plenty of work going on as a hired gun. She can basically play in any kind of band that she wants and be paid, but she never wanted to practice whenever Josh asked her to. She's not committed as she should be as Joshua said. They never even made an official agreement about paying Shaina a set amount. After Lex found out about us moving out of state on his post on social media, that's when she came out and said that she expected Shaina and Skumlove to be paid. She doesn't even know Skumlove long, I think they just barely met from that day they streamed their online competition. Skumlove even has been bugging Josh for money just like majority of the people would that he owes. Me and Josh agree that if you agree to help somebody, just help them. If you're sitting there expecting the money back right away, it ain't gonna happen so these people could've said NO and refused to help and move on with their lives. It's dumb how humans can be. If I can't help anybody, I don't help. Plain & simple....

I never even did anything wrong to Lex and this was between her and Josh, but she had the audacity to post a comment under my personal post about moving out of state and about missing my family & son about moving to a better environment and then owing her friend and Skum some money. What a disrespectful bitch....I blocked all of her and her gf's social media on all platforms right away, at least I thought I did. Just yesterday, I noticed somebody reported one of my museum photos on Facebook as a nudity/sexual content and you can see clearly that it's all vintage photos of musicians. Lex Wolfe popped into my head and I immediately blocked both her public & private accounts from my public page. We weren't able to do that before, but i am glad that Facebook allows you to do that now. Of all the 6.5 years I been doing my work, nobody has ever reported my shit until yesterday at 9pm. I knew it has to be Lex. Hopefully that will fix the problem now that she or Shaina can't see any of my pages or Joshua's pages at all now. I'll have to do another curse on her. We paid her ass her money before we left California, too so it's fucked up that she's coming after Josh by trying to harass my fucking social media. It's all good, i'll have to fuck her up spiritually.