#what a character. i still remember crying my eyes out in a support where he talks about this more openly

[thegreeninyoureyes]

ah, yes, the so called sylvain-coping-mechanism where you belittle yourself in front of others and have to act like the dictionary definition of an idiot so no one expects anything good from you! caused and probably also followed by:

fear of disappointing others and not being able to live up to their expectations

self-loathing and self-worth issues

get your sylvain-coping-mechanism today! or not

[anundyingfidelity]

TRAINING SEASON — Jensen Ackles

Summary: After a tumultuous relationship and a hard break up, you get trapped in between your co-star and a casual one night stand. But there's nothing you regret about.

Pairing: Jensen Ackles x female reader, actress!reader.

Word count: 1,076.

Warnings: implied sex like the morning-after-sex, nudity, some sexy time but no full smut, friends to lovers, language, idk just wrote this quickly.

Notes: AU where Jensen is obviously single, and reader is like 38 in my head don't asky why I like this number, I still have no idea. And I just love, and I mean, loooveeee getting obsessed with hot men over 40, can you tell?

>> disclaimer: i totally respect the private lifes of the actors and celebrities i use for my fanfictions, and of course their personal relationships. this is only fiction written for fun and nothing more.

☕ if you like my writing, support me with a ko-fi !

GEN MASTERLIST!

Opening your eyes, you stirred on the soft bed and noticed your sorroundings. This wasn't your hotel room. Your bare body hidden under the blank, messy bed sheets reminded you of yesterday's events. You smiled.

The other side of the bed was warm. His body pressing against yours felt perfect, and you wrapped your hand on his own, which was laying on your waist, like if he didn't want to let go of you. Your mind started remembering his touch on your skin, the way he would kiss every inch of your stomach, the trail of kisses he left all over you, and his love bites around your neck and chest. The burning between your thighs and the soreness let you notice it was as good as you imagined it to be, even before it happened.

"Whatcha thinking?" he asked, raspy and soft voice booming in your ears.

"Mmm... Nothing, just how great you felt last night," you teased, turning your head to see his face directly. Bare skin, disheveled hair, and tired but loving eyes met you. God, he was beautiful. He looked so fucked out in the best way possible one could describe it.

Jensen chuckled and kissed your cheek. Still, he never let go his embrace on you. He looked at you vividly for a long time, scanning every feature of your face, like he wanted to save all of you in just an instant. Your brows furrowed for a moment.

"What?" you whispered.

"We didn't fuck this up, did we?"

A sigh left your lips, your hand ran on his hair softly. You knew what he meant. You had a bad relationship and an even worse break up months before you started working together, and Jensen became a great friend as you tried to overcome it. And it was so hard not to fall for him when it felt like you knew each other for decades. He was someone you could trust your deepest secrets, pain and thoughts. A part of you did not want to cry on his shoulder for days once you got comfortable around him, nor letting him know how terrible you felt at the time. But he never judged you. He just was there, listening and offering a helping hand expecting nothing back.

But your feelings changed in the course. As months went by, an amazing, caring and loving friendship bloomed between both of you. Since the project was a long new TV series, you used to spend a huge amount of time together as your characters appeared to be in a slow building relationship. And now, the premiere was done, but the press tour barely started, so that meant you were not getting away from each other in a good time now.

"No," you finally answered. "Of course no."

"I mean, I know what you been through, and I- I don't wanna ruin anything-"

"Jensen, is fine," you cut him off. His eyes locked on yours, concern washed all over his handsome face. "I am fine with this, are you?"

"Absolutely," he said. "I always was. I mean, I liked you for a long time now," he laughed a little, making you smile. One of his hands now carressing your bare thigh, feeling the heat of your skin.

Jensen leaned down and pecked your lips softly, his lips slowly found its way to your neck, kissing and biting the flesh, exactly how he did last night. He groaned, tasting the saltiness, and you let out a soft moan as he flipped you around. You laid on your back, him on top. His tongue tracing your skin, stopping right before your breats. God, you were getting wet again.

Unlucky for you, your phone started ringing, breaking the moment and Jensen, with a disappointed look on his face, gave you the space to run and answer. By the way you were talking, he figured it was your manager, so he hid behind the covers, admiring you from afar. When you ended the phone call, you walked to him. His eyes kept lusting over your naked figure as you looked for your clothes all over the room. He sadly knew you were postponing until you had enough alone time together.

"I keep forgetting we're still on press tour," you kissed his cheek softly once you put on your underwear and grabbed your clothes to get decent to leave. "I'll be going now, sorry."

"It's fine," Jensen smiled, standing up and putting up some pants. He followed you before you crossed the door. "I'll see you later tonight then, how about dinner?" he casually asked, leaning down. "And then we could probably take care of some other things," he whispered in your ear. You bit your lip, eager to know what he had in mind.

"That'll be amazing, surprise me!"

You gave him a playful wink, and taking your purse you left his room with a wide grin on your face. You were so glad you stopped dating trainees to build a relationship with. Jensen was a self-confident, expert man, and you were more than happy to give it a shot.

[byunpum]

Experiment 56 [part 4]

Neteyam x Human reader ( like a mix of human and Navi )

and sullyFAM x human reader, spider x reader , and quaritch x reader (dont blame me )

Tw: mmm neteyam baby, reader being mutant, neytiri being a sweetheart-mother, jealousy, My daddy issues with jake, spider being spider,Watch out for quaritch, all the characters are aged up 20's.

POV: Y/N is surprised that it is an indispensable piece for the human race. Her family will do everything possible to keep her hidden and safe…

PART 1 | PART 2 | PART 3 | PART 4 | PART 5 | PART 6 | PART 7

Experiment 56 masterlist | Experiment 56 sequel Masterlist

Note: I wanted to write a lot of things in this part, but I didn't want it to be so long. But I still hope you like it. I am really enjoying making this series, soon I will be posting a masterlist of this series to make it easier to find all the parts. Thank you very much for your support. And remember that if you want me to do more stuff about other characters, go ahead, the request is open. From now on I warn you that I am not very expert in this Navi culture, but I did my best. And I'll be using events that happened in the movie, but they won't be exactly the same. And sorry for the spelling. English is not my mother tongue.

The drive was long and very exhausting. It was two nights of travel, jake was already worried about spider and you. You were more fragile than the others, so he decided to take a break, it was 2:00 a.m. on the third night. Jake signaled with his hand for them to land on a small islet. Everyone following jake and they landed.

"Let's get some rest, at sunrise we will be leaving. We are very close to our destination" said jake, as he took some things down from his ikran. Neteyam got off his ikran and helped you down. Neteyam looked down and gave you a small smile. Everyone needed this rest, the exhausted face of the group was visible. Neytiri called you to help her with tuk, tuk might be taller than you, but she was still your little sister. And you knew she was a little uncomfortable, so you sat down on the floor and held tuk in your arms while she was still asleep. Neytiri and Jake were making a improvised shelter, it wasn't the best, but it would give them warmth and a dry place to rest. While from the others, they were taking some things out of their pack.

"Are you okay?" loak sat down next to you. "Yeah, I just…I miss home that's all." Loak put his head on your shoulder, he didn't have to talk to answer you. That's why he was your best friend. A memory comes to your mind, you remember when loak was born you were so impressed, he was your baby, your little brother. You helped neytiri with his food, to walk, to talk. Even kiri and neteyam got jealous, because you didn't want to play with them anymore, you just wanted to take care of loak. When you two were growing up you had many arguments, but you always solved them by hugging and taking a nap. You laughed a little at the memory of those times. "What are you thinking?" Loak looks up." I'm thinking how much I love this family, they are so important to me. Look at what they are doing for me. They could have left me or given me up. But no…they're sacrificing everything…everything" You hadn't noticed that everyone was listening to you. Jake comes over to you, and settles in behind you, so that your back is against his chest. He gives you a big hug "How many times do we have to tell you…you're our girl. No matter what, what you look like, or where you come from. Look" you look up, as jake keeps talking " mama loves you, and kiri, loak, spider, tuk and neteyam love you. And we will do whatever it takes to protect you." Says jake, while kiri hugs you, she was already crying. Everyone comes over to give you a hug. Between tears and sobs, everyone breaks up laughing a little." Ok, everything is ready, let's rest" jake looks you in the eyes, and arranges a little bit your hair.

All the boys including you went to sleep, the order was as follows: tuk, loak, spider and kiri were together. Then a little further apart from the group were you and neteyam. Your back was to him, but neteyam was right behind her, with her tail wrapped around your leg. And one of her hands was on your waist. From the distance, jake and neytiri were watching the scene.

"don't you think… you know?" says neytiri while looking at her partner. "Are you talking about neteyam and y/n?" jake looks at the scene again and sees how you and neteyam are further apart from the group. As they are cozying up. A very common behavior in couples. " jake… I noticed the behavior that neteyam has towards y/n. It seems like they are…. Couple." Jake doesn't know what to say back to neytiri. "we can't blame him love." "but ma jake, they have grown up together. How is it possible" neytiri is looking with confusion at her partner. She couldn't understand how you two could have fallen in love. "love, you know the relationship that neteyam and y/n was never the same as with the other kids, I know neteyam likes y/n since his 8 years old. Yes they grew up together, but we have always paired them up".

"what? now it's my fault?" neytiri slaps jake on the shoulder," hey hehehe remember that time, you said that y/n was the determined partner for neteyam".

"yeah, but it was to get ninat's mom off my back. That woman is crazy" defended neytiri. There was a short silence until neytiri spoke, "I'm not worried about them being together…I prefer it that way. But how will they mate. Y/N will be able to give birth to a navi child?" jake didn't know how to answer this to neytiri. "I don't know, we'll have to wait. Besides…we are assuming they are in a relationship" jake joked with neytiri. "I'm his mother, I know there's something. I know everything." Jake laughed a little, and got up, took neytiri's hand and led her to the makeshift planter to rest for a bit.

At sunrise they all fly to their destination, it wasn't far away. So the trip went quickly. As they got closer, you could notice the whole ecosystem of this new clan, wow… it was beautiful. Crystal clear waters, warm air. Norm had told you several things, about the different clans that were in Pandora. But this was more than you had imagined, it was beautiful. You were landing on the sand, as you watched the locals approaching. You were next to neteyam, his hand was holding yours. You were a little scared, how was he going to ration. After all you and spider were human. You felt someone take your other hand and saw that it was spider. Spider looked you in the eye, he was scared, just like you. I said "calm down…we will be fine". You saw two large figures walking towards you, you knew one of them was Tonowari, but the female figure next to him you didn't know.

"I see you, Ronal, I see you, Tonowari," said Jake as he greeted him. "I see you, jake sully…. What brings you here?" asked tonowari, as ronal examined the family and noticed two small figures." We are here to… ask for shelter" ronal interrupts jake, as he walks over to spider and you. "You have demons near your family" said ronal, while examining spider. "I promise you, they are innocent. The girl is our daughter, and the boy is a friend of the family. They are good, I promise." jake was trying to convince the metkayina clan leaders. "And what is this?" Ronal looks at your braid, she can't believe her eyes. A navi braid, how is that possible? "this is a monst…" before she could finish, Neytiri stepped in front of her, pulling you away from Ronal. Neteyam pulled you close to him, while your other siblings went into defense mode. Oh no, thought jake, he didn't want this to become a problem.

"don't you dare say anything about my DAUGHTER. She is so navi, just like everyone here. You respect her" neytiri and ronal were furious. "calm down everyone…" tonowari said, while jake calmed neytiri down. You were holding neteyam's hand, loak was next to you making a wall style. "We just want shelter… we will learn their ways and adapt" jake looks at ronal and tonowari. They have a little staring match, until the man turns and looks at jake, "it's okay. You can stay, you will learn our culture and you will adapt. All of you" Tonowari looked at the two of you, you and spider swallowed. "yes, thank you very very much".

"my sons, tsireya and aonung will help you adapt" you could see the boy's displeased face. Although the girl looked very happy about her father's comment.

Ronal took another look and looked at the couple in front of him "later we will talk…and they will explain to us how she got that…and where she came from" Ronal pointed at you, while Jake just nodded. Neytiri had had enough of everything and they had just arrived. "Come with me, I'll show you to your new home" tsireya commented to them, she was the only one who was listening to them. You knew her kindness was genuine, you could feel it.

Tsireya guided them to their new home, she told us that the correct name was "marui". You found the differences between you and them interesting. You were behind neytiri, tuk was jumping behind you, while neteyam, spider, loak and kiri followed. "Here is your home, I hope it is to your liking, anything you need let us know" tsireya informs us, "thank you" we all say. You can see how loak and tsireya look at each other and then exchange looks." Heeee easy…we just got here" you joke with loak," shut up!!!" loak wants to die of embarrassment. "oh, one other thing…after you settle in, we'll wait for you on the coast. You'd better start your classes right away. See you" tsireya said goodbye.

"ok, family all together" jake said, neteyam drags loak to his side, kiri sits next to him. You settle next to tuk, sitting her on your lap, while she plays with your hair. Spider stays in the corner. He didn't want to interrupt. "spider I said everyone!!!" jake stated, spider came over and sat next to loak. "well… we're very lucky to have been accepted. i want you to behave yourselves, is that clear?" jake pointed to loak, spider, and you. Believe it or not, you guys were the trouble trio. And you always got neteyam involved. Kiri wasn't a troublemaker, but sometimes she would join them on adventures. "Yes, sir," they all said.

"mom, I want to go home" said tuk, while neytiri stroked her cheek, "hey, what does your father always say?" neytiri looks at them all." The sully's are always united." Jake claps a little." Cheers guys!!!! "jake tries to cheer up the situation, he takes tuk in his arms and carries her outside the marui, so she could see the view. Neytiri accompanies them, after all this was going to be their new home.

"Wow, I'm dying" you say, as you lie down on the ground. Spider laughs at you and imitates your movements. "I keep forgetting you two are a couple of lazy bums." Loak complains, "but yeah, I'm exhausted" he lays down next to you. Kiri laughs a little." Believe it or not, I'm happy…we're all here…together" kiri joins them on the floor and lies down. Neteyam sighs a little," hey come…come here." You wave your arms, inviting him to join the loose group. "come on!!! I know what you want, just for a moment." You tell him winking at him, neteyam laughs and walks over to where you are. He literally lies down on top of you. You scream a little, but you hug him. "yaaa…don't start with your lovers stuff." Says loak, as he tries to get neteyam off of you. Spider looks at the scene a little serious, even though he didn't want to admit it he was a little jealous, your relationship with neteyam.

"You're jealous" said neteyam, fighting with his brother." jealous!!!??? Of what?" loak, keep pushing him " of me not hugging you" neteyam slides down and ends up on top of loak and hugs him." Yaaaaaaaa let me go!!!" you laugh as you watch them play. You had your differences, but you knew they loved each other. You turn your eyes to see spider, "is something wrong?" you ask him, his face was very serious. "no, it's nothing" spider changes his expression. You knew something was wrong with him, he was usually happy, he was the most cheerful of them all. You assume his change is because they were in a new place, that must be it.

Jake and Neytiri come back in, and notice that Neteyam and Loak were already fighting. Kiri was laughing and you and spider were trying to get things out of the boxes. "hey guys!!" jake looked at them" sorry" neteyam looked at him sideways. There was silence, until jake jumps on top of the boys. Neytiri sighed and let them play, there were few times when Jake was not so strict with the boys. Neytiri walked over to where you and spider were setting things up. "Thanks for helping…spider" said neytiri, you don't comment anything, your mother naturally isn't nice to spider, but you see she is trying.

Later, you all go out to look for tsireya and her brother aonung. "hey, we're here, come on !!!!" shouts tsireya, as everyone jumps in and jumps into the water. You were frozen on the edge. "come on, it's okay. It's safe here" tsireya tries to convince you, but what she didn't know is that you weren't a big fan of the deep, you knew how to swim, but you didn't like it. Neteyam knew that, so she went to the edge and raised her arms, "come on, come down calmly and I'll hold you". "but I'm going to drown!!!" you say as you try to calmly lower yourself into his arms, aonung laughs at you "you guys seem to be very good in the trees, but here…" tsireya gives him a smack, and looks at him telling him to get a grip. You finally enter the water, you were holding neteyam's neck. "Don't worry, you'll get used to it," said tsireya, and you did. A week had passed and you were already competing with loak and spider to see who could hold their breath the longest. Spider got used to it very quickly, you didn't know how he did it… but he learned everything so fast. You admired that about him, you could barely swim.

It wasn't until it was time to ride an ilu, you were so excited. Aonung had told you that there were some smaller ones, and they were the perfect size for you. For Jake this wasn't enough though, he was right next to Aonung, making sure everything was okay. As soon as you saw the ilus, you fell in love with one in particular, it was very pretty. The creature came up to you, and nuzzled its face into your stomach. You laughed a little. Aonung indicated that you could now join her, you took your braid and connected it to the ilu. Aonung was surprised, because the creature remained calm. You pulled the creature up, and it began to swim. Wow…this was so new to you and you loved it. A smile came out of jake's face, it was the first time he saw you bond with a creature, and you had no problems, he was so proud of you.

You loved it all, they had never questioned your appearance, neither yours nor spider's. You had heard some comments from the younger metkayina, though. But even Ronal was accepting of you…you liked to go where she would teach the other clan girls how to prepare medicines. She even prepared a special cream, for you and spider to put on and protect you from the sun. You loved spending time with tsireya, tuk and kiri, and discovering places with loak and spider. But most of all, you loved meeting neteyam in a secret place. According to neteyam, he found it by accident and realized that no one went there. So, in the evenings, you two would meet there. To spend some time alone.

It was in the afternoon, everyone was finishing their tasks, neytiri had told you to look for some shells on the beach, you weren't complaining. You weren't a big fan of swimming all day, so you went without a problem. Besides, your snail collection needed new pieces. You were walking along the beach, until you heard someone approaching, you looked to see who it was and saw spider coming up.

"hello!!!" said spider, as he runs towards you," hello…Are you done with your tasks?" you ask, as you continue collecting snails. " Yes, actually there wasn't much to do. So everyone went home" replied spider, while trying to tell you something else.

" Is something wrong, I've noticed you're acting a little strange?" you ask, as you sit down on the sand. Spider takes a seat next to you. "Well yes" you knew spider was nervous because he started playing with one of the decorations on his loincloth. "You and neteyam are a couple, right?" says spider, you knew how this was going to end. "Well, we're a couple…we haven't bonded before eywa yet. But…" spider interrupts you." You can't do that…. y/n, you and neteyam are totally different", you couldn't believe what spider was telling you. "wait what????" you question him.

" Yeah, what will your parents say, and everyone else. You guys are different in everything. Don't take this the wrong way, but you must be with someone just like you." Says spider, very confident. You take a deep breath, you get up from the floor. "Listen to me spider, you had your chance… and what did you do to me? You humiliated me, you said I was weird, that you wouldn't be with someone like me. And now when I'm happy, when I finally find someone to love me. You come to claim me?" you say annoyed.

After the first reject that spider gave you, at 17 years old you two decided to go out. It was not for a long time, but it was long enough to hear how spider talked to other navi guys, that he was only dating you because he felt sorry for you. You remember how it hurt, and how neteyam was always by your side. Still, you forgive spider, and you continued to be friends.

Spider stands up, "wait no, I don't want you to be annoyed with me…I just." Spider looks down, "you nothing!!!! I've given my neck for you…I had you brought to us. And here you are claiming me who I want." You yell at spider," And I thank you, but he doesn't deserve you. y/n" spider tries to grab your arm, but you break free from his grip and keep walking to the house. You hear spider shouting from far away.

Neteyam was on his way to the beach to check on you, but he saw you walking in disgust. As you were getting closer, you stopped "hey, what's up?" asks neteyam as he gets down to your level. You walk over and hug him. "Ma neteyam, they keep hurting me. They keep doing it…and I can't shake this feeling of guilt" you say, as tears stream down your face. "what are you talking about?" neteyam caresses your back and takes your face in her hands, to give you a kiss. "Hey, why don't we give these snails to mom and then go to our place, okay?" Neteyam says as he adjusts your hair a little. You nod your head, as you go ahead to go to the house. Neteyam gets up and walks behind you, but looks back. He notices how Spider is walking in the same direction you were coming from. Spider was already getting on Neteyam's nerves.

On the other side of Pandora…

"It's been two weeks already…two" screams General Ardmore . "I know general, but we didn't find anything. They're missing" says Quaritch, trying to defend himself. Lyle was at his side, and gave him a worried look. "Colonel, I need you to bring that girl to me. And I don't care if she's still alive. I want her in the facility in a week. That's a damn order" Quaritch nodded with his face. He lifted himself from the seat, and walked out of the briefing room. Lyle followed him, not daring to say anything. Quaritch stops dead in his track "you know what the problem is, Lyle" said Quaritch "what is it, sir?" Lyle walks forward, "I don't want to catch her…something in me tells me to leave her alone. It's like a force telling me to leave her." Quaritch brings his hand to his chest, as he looks at Lyle with concern," it won't be…that thing the navi say. what is it? mmm eywa?" Quaritch laughs a little at Lyle," you're really crazy, you don't believe in that stuff?" miles wanted to think Lyle was crazy, but inside he was thinking the same thing. " I don't know, you know that these….. points to his body are connected and blah blah blah blah with that spirit stuff. And who knows, if they're telling you something." There was a silence between the two men. Quaritch gave Lyle's shoulder a squeeze, "who knows, who knows? But if so…whatever it is is talking to me. It's telling me I should have her…to myself." Miles chuckled a little to himself. As he kept walking to get everything ready.

p.s: I wanted to focus more on the relationship of the characters, than on how they lived together in the Metkayina clan. The good stuff is coming soon ahhh. I hope that between today or tomorrow chapter 5 will be ready. Kisses!!!

Neytiri babies: @st4rrry @valeriinee @inutheangel @gielrmn @sloppierjewel @purple7theparty @itscheybaby @ssc7514 @namorslit @ducks118 @tpwkstiles @elli-aesthetics @nao-cchi @uselessbutinteresting @msjae @austynparksandpizza @gamorxa @andyyy4444 @itssomeonereading @meivap @barbii04 @mm-nope @dorck26 @nessrin @purple7theparty @ssc7514 @sloppierjewel @yeosxxx @legendleopard100 @pandoragalora @jayzes-blog @ducks118 @laylasbunbunny @kyriekurokami @heesoftiefreak @teamanime @d4rno @dumb-fawkin-bitch-bitch @burdeningbitch @allsouls-emma @aceofheartzzz @famousbagelhandspurse @fanficblogs @lilyofthetigers @mjnij

@cherrywinesab @sloppierjewel @bubbleguppy0315 @ellielovesrobinarellano @mrs-sullys-blog @lovekeeho @vectoriscommitingcrimes @kimtaehussy @bimbotinkerbell  @aceofheartzzz

If there is any problem with the tags, let me know. I have had many people asking me to be on the tag list, if you are not on the list yet you can send me a message.

[the-s1lly-corner]

TADC characters x reader crying and the characters are trying to calm the reader down

TADC cast finding the reader crying!

WOOOOOO so sorry for not getting to requests sooner, i was busy today and caught up in doing a bunch of baking orders! yahoo! i made a buncha scones today and churros :)! i might make pretzels tomorrow for myself also ive never watched one piece but im absolutely obsessed with chopper VV

CAINE:

"now now my dear, what's wrong?" immediately takes you off to a private area away from prying eyes and ears. surprisingly a good listener, i mean he cares about you so so much, youre like. his number one, so of course hes going to be looking out for you. tries his best to cheer you up, regardless of whats making you so upset; another circus member, being overwhelmed, or your brain just being mean... this man would literally carry the world for you.. well a digital world, but the sentiment still stands i think..! just say the word and hes going to do whatever it takes to cheer you up!

POMNI:

very awkward comforter, i think i might have said this somewhere; in fact i may have had a similar request to this a while ago but i truly do not remember and i cant be bothered to look through the sea of TADC stuff ive written... but she would be SO bad at comforting people; like she just stands there before awkwardly patting your back. and thats assuming she goes through with the action, theres a solid chance she just. asks outright if youre okay in this nervous voice trying to be gentle. its not her fault i prommy, shes just bad at comforting people. offers to take you to her room so you have some privacy, kind of just lets you let it all out

RAGATHA:

again i might be biased for ragatha because ive really fallen in love with her since i opened up requests but she would be the absolute queen of comfort. speaks in a really soft voice as she takes you off to yours or her room, sets you down on the bed and lets you lean on her for support (metaphorically and literally!). gives you the softest blankets and pillows, and simply lets you pour your heart out. asks if you want comfort or solutions; because both have their time and place i think. sometimes you want solutions, and sometimes you just want pure comfort. ragatha gets it. and whichever one you want, shes going to deliver on it! will likely take it upon herself to try to solve the issue if its an external thing that made you upset. 10/10 love her

JAX:

believe or not i think he would be the type to try to confront the thing upsetting you yourself, especially if it was someone who had upset you. best way i can explain it is like. you know that one pizza episode of spongebob where squidward stands up for spongebob to that rude customer who made him cry? it would have the same energy, i think. asshole who actually has a heart stepping in to defend someone when there needs to be justice type deal. now if he was the one who made you upset, say by one of his pranks, then it might take him a minute for the guilt to kick in but it would be there... eventually. does feel bad, tries to cheer you up and does try to apologize, i think

KINGER:

oddly enough i think he would be up there in terms of how good he is with comforting people! i say odd because he seems so out of it a lot of the time. but i think the second he sees your tears hes just laser focused. very similar to ragatha in terms that he takes you away and lets you speak. to the pillow fort! lets you cry into the fur of his robe, too... rubs circles into your back. this man carries the same level of comfort that sweet old people carry, if that makes sense. the type of person so say "ive got you" when comforting someone, i think

ZOOBLE:

has to do a double take when they see you crying. like pomni i think theyre bad at comforting... but not as much, if that makes sense. if it was someone who had made you upset, they probably try to tell you that they arent worth the time of day and that youre better than them. strikes them with the curse of them also giving you awkward back and shoulder pats, but its even more awkward and uncomfortable because they have weird hard plastic hands. look, ok. theyre trying, theyre likely trying their best too- honestly i think their main form of comfort is talking shit about the person or thing that made you feel bad

GANGLE:

honestly she might cry with you. admittedly i dont see gangle herself being the best comforter when someone is crying; especially if its someone she cares so deeply about. i think like everyone else, she would gently take her hands in yours and guide you off to the side so you can have some privacy and decency. she does try her best to try to cheer you up; and i think that she would have better luck with it if her comedy mask isnt broken! but if it is, its likely that shes going to cry with you. probably leads to vent sesh between the two of you where you vent to one another and cry. hey, that works too, i think! not to say that she is trying to purposefully trying to make it about herself too, but like. her way of empathizing with you. "oh hey we're both having a bad day, let me show how i can relate to you so you feel less alone" type deal

[malarkgirlypop]

MEDIC! Part 41 (Donald Malarkey x Fem!OC)

It's been a year since I started this story. I posted last year on my birthday and I do the same again today. I want to thank everyone who has stuck with me while I write this, all your love and support is greatly appreciated, I love you all so much. So here's a birthday present from me. Thank you all again!

Based on the HBO show and the actors who portray the characters, not hate to anyone involved.

Tag list: @imusicaddict, @b00ks1ut, @mstiemountainhop, @awaterfalls, @lovememadly92, @lucyfromtheoldhouse, @blueberry-ovaries, @next-autopsy, @saintmalosunsets, @anaso12 anyone else please let me know.

I rubbed my eyes, blinking hard and then staring at the shimmer that mocked me. After everything that had happened, now it was back. 

It glimmered in the sunlight. The oil slick transparent film didn’t move as I approached it. It was just as I had remembered. I stopped a metre away, too scared I would be sucked in if I walked any closer. The whole time my heart never stilled, it thumped in my ears as I glared at the film. 

“Really you’re back after all this time?” I chastised the insentient object. 

“Fuck you!” I screamed, I was far enough away from the base that no one would hear me. I picked up handfuls of stones and hurled them at the shimmer. 

“Why did you do this to me? I didn’t ask for this!” My voice cracked as I yelled. 

“I never asked for any of this! You brought me here, why are you back?” Tears slipped down my cheeks. 

I didn’t know what I expected, that someone would magically pop out from inside the portal and explain to me why on earth it was me that was taken. That they would say it’s fine if you want to stay, this is just an offer, or, if you do not come back through the shimmer life as you know it would cease to exist. 

But no, no one was here to answer my question. It was only the shimmer that sat perfectly still as I screamed at it, as I launched stones and debris its way. It didn’t cry out and ask me to stop, only mocked me with its silence.   

“I hate you!” I screamed before I turned on my heel and sprinted away from the provoking portal. 

—------------------------------

I sat on the floor packing and unpacking my bag for hours. Each time I packed the bag an overwhelming panic took hold of my chest and only eased when I took everything out of my medic bag. 

“What are you doing?” I heard from behind me. I swivelled around in panic. 

Don stood in the entrance, his brows knitted together in concern. 

“How long have you been standing there?” I asked, swallowing the lump in my throat. 

“Long enough to know you’re leaving. Why?” He started forward to where I sat criss-cross on the floor.

“Where are you going?” Don demanded when I didn’t answer. 

“It’s back.” I uttered, not knowing what else to say. 

“What’s back?” He stood looking down at me. 

“The shimmer.” My voice was so quiet as I told him the truth. I watched his face fall and then his eyes flicked over my belongings that were scattered in front of me. 

“You’re leaving.” It was a realisation that fell from his lips. “You can’t!” 

“Don please don’t make this harder than it already is.” I begged, feeling tears spring to my eyes. It was hard enough to make this decision myself but for Don to beg me to stay was going to make it impossible. 

“Why are you leaving?” Don genuinely asked. 

“Because I have to!” 

“Said who? The shimmer police?” His tone was serious. 

“No. But why would it show up again if I was supposed to stay?” I was out of answers for him, I was just as confused as him about this. My heart was torn, I wanted to stay but I didn’t know the cost of that decision. 

“What if I don’t leave and then everyone dies ‘cause I fucked it all up?” I let him into the thoughts that had been racing through my mind even before the shimmer had shown up again. 

“If I stay and the world falls apart because of me and people die. I could never forgive myself.” I didn’t need to be the cause of anymore death, and if that meant giving up the one thing that made me happy then it was a sacrifice I would have to make. 

“You know what I would do?” He asked joining me on the floor and taking my hands in his. “I would say fuck everyone else and choose you.” 

“That’s easy for you to say you're not the one with this decision. I can’t say fuck everyone, that’s not me!” Don nodded he knew it wasn’t in my nature to put myself first. 

“Why are you making this decision based on other people?” Don’s thumb rubbed absentmindedly over the back of my hand. 

“Are you running because of what happened?” His eyes flicked up to meet mine. 

I shook my head, my mouth twisting at the thought of what had happened only last night. The scars were still fresh, literally. 

“No, I am doing what’s right, and that means I can’t stay, even though I want to!” I was already at my wits end without the appearance of the shimmer. Tears fell down my cheeks. 

“Be selfish, for once in your life Em! Choose you!” Don pleaded, his hands tightly wrapped around mine as if I would disappear in a blink of an eye. 

“I can’t!” I yelled, rising to my feet and pacing back and forward across the small room. 

But Don continued, standing up as well to grab me as I passed by him. His hands firmly gripped on my shoulders. Don shook me as he spoke, as if trying to shake his words into me. 

“Because other people would choose themselves, in your position they would choose to stay, not because of the greater good, but because they wanted to.” He was right, a lot of people would choose the outcome that would better accommodate them. But when have I ever put myself first? 

“You deserve to be happy.” I wanted to be happy, after everything I had been through in life all I wished for was to be happy.

“I can’t be the cause of other people’s deaths.” I couldn’t have that weight on my shoulders, I couldn’t live my life knowing other people suffered for me. It just didn’t seem fair. 

“Fuck everyone else Em. If you staying meant the world was going to end tomorrow, you know what I would choose, you I would choose you, because I love you.” 

“That’s not fair Don!” 

“I would die for you. I would choose my demise to spend one more day with you.” I choked back my sobs. 

“So I would die for you, but you wouldn't die for me?” Don questioned. I understood why he was wandering. From his point of view I seemed to care about everyone else more than him. 

“No, I am. If I go, I’m dying. I don’t think I could ever be happy again. But if that meant that you got to have a long and prosperous life, then I would die a million times over for you. And going home and living my life will be that.” 

“Then live for me!” Don bargained. “What are you going back to there anyway, you have a family here!” 

“Doesn’t mean I belong.” 

“Emily, ever since you have arrived all you have done is belong. You fit right in, you were meant to be here. The shimmer brought you here for a reason, fate itself!” Don was right I may have been brought back to this time for a reason, but then it could've been random all the same.    

“But what if it was only for a moment, only for a short while. What if I stay and everything falls apart because of me?” The lingering doom haunted me.  

“There are so many what ifs, but what ifs don't answer your question. Where would you rather be?” Don gazed down at me with his intense brown eyes. 

“Don’t make me answer Don, this is already so hard.” I hiccuped, I shook my head as I pushed away from him, turning my back on the man I loved.  

“Which would you pick if there were no consequences?” His voice strained as emotions flooded through his soft tone.  

“Here.” I whispered, still not facing him.  

“So stay, there are no consequences, you can’t think of the what ifs that will only haunt you. If you go back and regret your decision, don’t you think that will tear you apart?” Don rounded me so he stood in front of me again, his hand finding the underside of my chin and tilting it up to look into his eyes. They shimmered with unshed tears. 

“Yeah but what if I stay and the world ends and everyone I love dies! That would be even worse.” I emphasised my point over and over again, but still he fought against me.  

“It wouldn’t matter if we were together!”

It would be an agree to disagree.  

“I hate to break it to you Em, but everyone you love will die eventually. You can either be here for it or not.” 

“The difference is I don’t want to be the cause.” I stood my ground. I would not be the reason for the world turning to fire and ash. 

“I can’t face that. It will fucking kill me.” I would become a shell of myself if that was to happen. There would be no one for him to love anyway.  

“So I can’t talk you out of it? After all this time you are going to choose everyone else over me?” Don’s hurt radiated down his body, his hand fell away from my face as he took a step back. 

“Please Don don’t say it like that.” I begged stepping forward into his space but he kept his distance.  

“It’s fine you have made your decision, I clearly can’t stop you. Even though I hate you right now, just know that I love you and I hope that haunts you till the day you die!” Don’s bitter tone was harsh as he stomped out of the room.  

“Don!” I called after him as I chased him down. “I can’t leave with you hating me. If you love me you will let me go. You will respect my choice.” 

He only looked down at me, anger and pain etched into his features. 

“I will let you process this, while I say my goodbyes.” I kissed him gently on the cheek before turning to head back inside to pack my bag for the final time. 

—---------------------------------------

I took a shaky breath before entering the mess hall. The men noticed my arrival waving me over to the table. I kept my own emotions at bay as they all smiled at me. This would be the last time I saw their faces. 

“Hey boys!” I cooed to the men. They all stood from their seats as I rounded the table. 

“Em, are you alright?” Lieb asked me as I sat beside him. I resisted the urge to reach up and brush my fingers through his hair. 

“I’m ok.” I uttered softly. 

A small smile tugged at the corner of his lips. I leant into him, my hands coming around his bicep as I lent my head against his shoulder. 

“Em?” Lieb asked, craning his head to look down at me. “Why do you look like you have bad news?” 

“Because I do.” A sombre tone fell over the table. I straightened myself from my position and stood. 

“They have ordered me back home. Due to the events of last night, they don’t feel I am fit to continue my service.” I broke my lie to the men. Their faces fell as a groan of protest rippled through the group of my fellow Easy men. 

“It’s ok Em, we’ll see you when we get back home.” Babe chirped as he grinned at me. 

I could feel my heart ripping in my chest. He wouldn’t see me again. None of them would. 

“Yeah!” My voice cracked as sadness seeped into my tone. I quickly righted the mistake. “We will all have a big party when you guys get home.” Lieb reached up, taking my hand in his, giving me a reassuring squeeze. 

“But I’m going to miss all of you-” I had to pause to take a shaky breath before continuing. I laughed as the men looked up at me with concern on their faces. 

“I’m ok, just sad that I won’t be able to see you guys for a while.” My other hand was taken by Bull. The man who had saved me right at the beginning of this mess. 

“I want to come and give each one of you a hug goodbye. And then I’ll be off!” Complaints and offeres to were raised by the Easy men.  

“Don said he wanted to have me all to himself before I left, so you all have to do as he wishes!” Malarkey hadn’t agreed to anything yet, but I couldn’t have the men sending me off through the portal. 

The men thankfully agreed to my terms. 

I went around the table taking each man into my arms. Tightly squeezing them one last time. 

Lipton pulled me into his embrace as he whispered into my ear. “Be safe, Em.” I pulled back and his hands cupped my cheeks, brushing away the tears that slipped down them. 

Perco grinned widely at me as I stood blubbering in front of him. “Hey, don’t cry! I’ll make you eggs anytime, and we won’t even have to get it from the source.” His arms wrapped around me rocking me side to side in a boisterous manner. 

Martin hugged me like the dad I never had, pressing a soft kiss to my hair. 

Luz opened his arms, tears glimmering in his own eyes. “Don’t cry George or you’ll make me cry more!” 

“Who’s gonna laugh at my jokes?” His voice broke as he tried to be funny. I didn’t answer his question, only holding him closer. 

Webster and Tab both gave me kisses to the cheeks, wishing me safely on my journey. 

“Thank you for fixing me up Gene.” A bittersweet smile formed on his lips as he pulled me close. 

“Thank you for being the best medic Em. I didn’t tell you enough but I think you make a wonderful nurse.” I buried my face into his shoulder as his hand stroked down my back. 

Babe and I didn’t utter a word to each other, he only crushed me to his chest. We both quietly cried into each other's shoulders.

I pulled back, using my palm to wipe his face clean. “You’ll see me again Em.” He promised as I nodded tearfully.  

Bull enveloped me into his arms like I was a small child who had curled into his lap. He pressed kisses to the top of my head. I listened to his thick twang as he spoke, “I’ll miss you little lady. Don’t be a stranger.” 

Finally it was Lieb left. Only once in my life had I seen the man cry, but here he was looking up at me with tears in his eyes. 

“Can’t believe you’re going.” He said as he rocked us back and forward. “What am I gonna do without you?” 

“You’ll be fine Lieb.” I pulled back so I could memorise his face. He shook his head and took me into his embrace once again. 

I waved goodbye to them all as I left the mess facility. I still had to find the rest of the officers. 

I found Nix and Winters first. “Em are you doing alright?” Dick took in my appearance, my blotchy cheeks and bloodshot eyes. 

“I came to take up your offer. I would like to leave.” The men looked shocked, glancing from me to each other. 

“When would you like to leave?” Nix asked. 

“As soon as possible.” 

The men again looked even more flabbergasted. 

“We have one at 1300hrs, a jeep can take you to the port and then you ship back home.” Dick reported, checking his watch. It was 1130am, I had a couple hours before my departure. 

“Is that soon enough for you?” Dick’s eyes flicked up from his wrist. 

I nodded. “Thank you both for all that you have done for me. Richard, thank you for taking me in, and trusting me. Lew, thank you for caring for me and keeping me safe.” 

“You guys don’t know how much you mean to me. I never really had a male figure in my life. The love and support you have shown me in this small amount of time we have known each other, will fill up the rest of my lifetime and even after my death.” The men looked even more confused than before. 

“Emily you’re only going home, we will see you again I’m sure.” Dick surged forward to bring me into his arms. His hand smoothed down my curls soothingly.  

“I hope so.” I whispered into his jacket, latching my hands around his waist. 

Pulling back I found Nix now at our side, I went from one man to the other. I flung my arms around Lew's neck as he nuzzled into me.

“Gonna miss ya kid.” Nix said softly into my hair. I could hear the thickness of emotion in his voice, as if he somehow knew that this was inevitably the end. 

I finally stepped back from the embrace, sniffing and wiping away my tears that seemed endless. 

“I don’t mean to be forward, but I love you both, so very dearly.” Both the men chuckled. 

“We love you too Em.” Dick’s charming smile appeared on his lips. 

“I’ve already said goodbye to all of the men, but there is just one more person I need to see.” 

Dick nodded pointing back over his shoulder, “Should be somewhere in the office.” 

I gave a thank you before scurrying off to find the said man. 

My fist knocked on the wooden frame of the door that stood open. Speirs sat at his desk with his head down filing through papers. 

“Come in.” Ron called without glancing to see who it was. 

“Sir.” I started, but the sound of my voice caused the man to look up. 

“Em!” He smiled at me. “What’s the occasion?” 

Ron set aside the task he was working on to give me his full attention. 

“I came to say goodbye. I’m leaving in a few hours, I’m gonna go home. I think it’s my time.” 

Speirs sighed but smiled still. “I can’t say I’m surprised. You need the rest, after-” He paused, having to look away as he continued to speak. “After everything you’ve been through.”

“We’ll miss you. But I’m glad you won’t be coming to the Pacific, it’s not something you should be exposed to.” 

I hummed in agreement. “Yeah, I think I just need to go home and relax. And don’t worry about giving me your treasures, I’ve got it all sorted out.” His brow pinched. 

“It’s a gift.” Ron assured me. 

“And I thank you for the kindness, but it isn’t necessary anymore.” I held my ground, there would be no one for him to send it to. I would rather he keep it. 

“Oh, so you’re going, going.” Ron corrected. 

“I’m sorry?” I asked, confused by his comment. 

“You think I didn’t notice?” Speirs peered up at me, confusion lined my face. 

“What?” My heart drummed in my ears. 

“I’m a smart man, Emily. I have done my research on you. I have done my research on everyone. But you stood out. No records, nothing. I have been watching you, I notice things.” The more he spoke the more confused I became. 

“You aren’t from here. I don’t know why or how, but I know you weren’t born during this time. And you’ve made the decision to go home.” Speirs stood from his chair and rounded the desk to stand in front of me. 

“You’ve come to say goodbye for good. Haven’t you?” He bent down slightly so that he was looking me in the eyes. 

I was speechless, all I could do was nod. 

“How? How did you even come to that conclusion?” 

“It doesn’t matter. It never mattered. But for some reason I assumed you would stay.” Speirs’ arms drew me in. 

“What does Don think?” He asked as I laid my head on his chest. 

“He hates me for it.” I admitted sourly. 

“I’m sure he’ll come round.” Speirs reassured me as he cradled my face to his heart. 

“I wanted you to walk me down the aisle.” My thoughts surged from my mouth before I could hold them back. I had thought about it when I was planning to stay. If I was to be wed to Don, Ron was the one I wanted to give me away. 

“Good. No one else would be allowed but me.” Speirs chuckled.  

My laughs turned into sobs as I clutched him closer. “Am I making a huge mistake?” 

“You are doing what you think is best Em, and I trust you.” He pulled me back to look down at me. “Follow your heart.” 

“Thank you for everything-” 

“You don’t need to give me a big speech Em. I know how you feel about me and you know how I feel about you. Let’s just have this moment.” 

I think I spent two hours with Ron. Most of it I spent sobbing, but to have those last few hours together before I left filled me with so much joy it hurt. 

I tried to find Don, but he was nowhere to be seen and it was getting closer to when I would have to be out of sight. 

Sobbing, I walked back to where I had found the shimmer. I walked faster before my selfishness got the best of me and I turned and walked the other way.     

“Stop!” Don called from behind me. 

“Don!” I pleaded, if he was here to stop me he was wasting his breath. 

“I thought about it. And you’re right. If you love something, let it go. I hope you do the same Em. I want you to live a happy life, and even though I hate the idea, find someone who will make you happy. I will think about you everyday, you will forever be in my heart."

"I wanted to do a lot of things with you Em. I wanted to marry you and take you home to meet my family who would love you so much, by the way. I wanted you to be the mother of my kids, and the grandmother to their kids and hell even a great grandmother! I wanted to get old with you and live a quiet life, just me and you, sitting on the porch drinking ice tea."

"And we would argue and bicker, but only because we loved each other so much. You will forever be the love of my life, even if I can’t have you. You will be in my dreams every night, until the day I die. And when I die, I hope to find you again in every lifetime, if only just to know you. And even when you’re gone I will look for you in every woman I pass on the street and in the stores."

"You will have my heart now and forever. I love you so much, you are the best thing that has ever happened to me.” His speech was broken by his cries, but it was the most beautiful thing anyone has ever said to me. 

“I love you Don. I wish I could choose to stay. I wish all those things could come true. You have captured my heart and I fear I will never love the same again. I will never love someone as deeply and as fiercely as I love you. I will never forget your laugh, the way you smile at me, the way you kiss me."

"You have seared yourself into my soul and I will carry you with me through every lifetime. I believe you are my one true love, and I will never find someone who makes me as happy as you do. Don’t think of this as goodbye, but see you again. I will find you, even if it’s only in my dreams. Thank you for coming.” I sobbed as he kissed my cheeks, then my lips. 

The most tender goodbye kiss. One that left me breathless for more but broken hearted at the same time. We stayed wrapped in each other's arms, head pressed together as our breaths mingled. 

I kissed him for the last time. “I love you.” I whispered softly. 

I turned and walked towards the shimmer. I stood in front of the portal as it shone in the sunlight. I didn’t look back, I couldn’t, it would stop me. 

Taking one last breath I stepped forward into the shimmer, before everything went black.

-----------------------------------------

Chapter 42

[jumpywhumpywriter]

Bleed out, Black Out part 2

Warnings: sad character death, whipping, torture, Whumper beating Whumpee

He picked up the bucket and dumped the bloody water completely on Whumpee, who didn't even have the energy to scream as the cleaning chemicals worked into his open wounds, burning like fire.

"Caretaker isn't coming for you. You failed her, and you failed me. Can't you do anything right with your life?!" Whumper's words added a whole new layer of hurt to Whumpee, and Whumpee's heart twisted with sudden guilt.

The last time Whumpee had seen Caretaker was when they had been fighting over something stupid he couldn't even remember, and he'd stormed off alone in his rage, where Whumper pounced on the opportunity to capture him. Whumpee's last words to Caretaker were 'I wish I'd never met you, because then you wouldn't have been such a burden on my life like you're being right now.' But he wished with all his heart he could take it back. Caretaker hadn't found him yet because she wasn't looking for him, he'd hurt her worse than any blade ever could. He still remembered how her face had looked the instant he'd said it, the sheer devastation that washed over her.

'Fine then, I hate you too!' she'd shouted after him as he left. 'The world is going to forget you one day, and so will I. Good riddance!'

Whumpee realized just how achingly true her words were now. No one would know he died. No one would find his body. He was going to die right here on the cold floor at Whumper's hands, and no one would care, no one would mourn him.

"What's wrong, Whumpee?" Whumper cooed mockingly. "You look so... crushed." His cruel laughter rattled in Whumpee's skull, and Whumpee could feel himself being dragged down, vision going fuzzy as the blood loss and physical weakness started to take its toll.

He coughed wetly, blood flooding and pooling in the back of his throat from his broken nose, choking him. But he couldn't even find the energy to roll over so he could spit it out, he just stayed staring up at the ceiling as it became harder and harder to breath, slowly drowning.

The world came back into sharp focus for a single heartbeat when three distinct gunshots rang out, before it all went blurry again. Whumper had screamed. Why did he scream? A shadow suddenly appeared above Whumpee's face, and Whumpee squinted, trying to focus his tired eyes.

"No... nonono... Whumpee..."

That voice... Where did he know that voice? He had to be hallucinating. Because... Caretaker hated him. She couldn't be here. Wouldn't chose to be here. Maybe this was his final memory replaying before his death.

"Whumpee? Whumpee!" The voice was muffled and warped to his ears, but he could feel someone shaking him, someone that pulled him into their lap and turned him onto his side so he could heave the blood in his throat and stomach out onto the floor.

"I can't believe I let this happen... I tried so hard to find you!" Someone was crying loudly, turning him over so that he was face-up again. Whumpee could now make out the distinct outline of his friend. He wasn't hallucinating. Caretaker was here. She'd come for him.

"M'... so... rry..." He mumbled weakly, head lolling in her gentle arms -- oh how he'd missed her kind touch.

"I'm sorry too, Whumpee." Caretaker's voice cracked, her tears falling onto Whumpee's bloodless cheeks.

"W-Why... c-come?" Whumpee managed to croak. He hadn't realized how hard he was shivering, his teeth chattering with the effort to speak.

"Because I care about you, Whumpee, and all those awful things I said -- I didn't mean any of it! I said them impulsively without thinking. Once I realized you were missing I did everything I could to find you, and now--" Caretaker burst out in another bout of body-wracking sobs. "I'm so sorry Whumpee, for all of it. I should have supported you, not pushed you away." Caretaker pressed her forehead to his, face twisted with anguish.

"I love you, Whumpee," she suddenly blurted. It was the first time she'd said it out loud. They'd been friends for so long... and then dated for even longer, but they'd never actually admitted their feelings.

"M' luv... you... tooooo..." Whumpee's raspy voice slurred badly, and he put every last ounce of energy he had into a shaky smile, one meant just for her...

...And then Whumpee took a deep breath, taking in Caretaker's familiar scent and warmth, and let it out in one final trembling sigh, before closing his eyes and finally letting go.

He was safe. He was loved. And that was enough for him to be happy... for eternity.

⏪️ Back

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[wheredafandomat]

I know who you pretend I am

Loki x Female Reader (Thor x reader)

18+ | contains character death, mourning, smut, angst - it’s literally like 3 in the morning but I just had this idea and HAD to get it out so I could sleep peacefully 😂 apologies in advance for my grammar or anything, it’s late.

“It should have been you.” You wept, tears blurring your vision as you stormed towards Loki, digging your finger into his chest. “It should have been you.” You continued to cry, your fists clenching before you nudged him backwards, Loki unwavering as you took your frustrations out on him. It should have been him, he agreed. Given the chance he would have switched places with Thor, he had so much more to live for, he had you and now you were alone, he was alone. “You promised” you sniffled against Loki’s chest, his hand ghosting your back as he contemplated whether you’d find the gesture comforting or smoldering if he was to place it there “you said he’d come back safe.” You almost whispered, your cries silent now as your shoulders shook. Making his mind up, Loki placed his hand on your back, pulling you into him as he fought down his own emotions allowing you to grieve.

It wasn’t long before you grew tired, body limp in Loki’s grip as he supported you, almost carrying you to your bedroom. Once you both reached, he pulled the duvet back, stepping away from you as you got into the bed. Standing at the door, Loki’s gaze lingered on you for a moment as he imagined how you’d cope from now on. He knew you felt alone now but he was certain you weren’t. He promised he’d look after you, regardless of how much you pushed him away; it was his final promise to his brother and he was intent on keeping this one.

Going into his own room, Loki almost collapsed onto his bed as the emotions he had been keeping down began bubbling to the surface. When it first happened, he felt shocked, angered, an anger that turned into a bloodbath of revenge as he took it from every hopeless soul that stood in his way before coming face to face with the one who took Thor’s life. He brought death to the wicked creature slowly, leisurely, the act almost making him smile as he began to feel relief before it dissipated. He had gotten his revenge but Thor was still dead. At least he’d be able to tell you that Thor’s death had been avenged. He knew you wouldn’t ask straight away but the question would come eventually, now he’d be able to tell you exactly how he got his revenge. For now, he could all but cry and keep his promise to Thor.

“Promise me you will not leave her.”

“Thor I—”

“Brother, promise me you’ll look after her.”

“I promise.”

The next day came however you didn’t move. You remained still, in bed, silent tears running down your cheeks as you begged to be awoken from this nightmare. You didn’t speak, nor did you the next day, or the next. By the end of the week, your voice was hoarse as you told a concerned Loki to leave you alone.

The following week was a little bit kinder to you. The sun shone for what felt like the first time, warming your cheeks and covering them with a new sensation, hope. You stood up and walked towards the window allowing more of the sun to stroke your face. You smiled, it was almost painful, the muscles in your face not remembering the gesture. Just as you were about to close your eyes and bask in the yellow glow, the door knocked.

“Can I come in?” Loki spoke from outside, holding a tray of food like he had been doing the past two weeks however this time, you allowed him in. Loki pushed the door open, gaze focused on your bedside table where he sat the tray down before realising you weren't in bed. Glancing up, he saw you standing at the window, eyes closed as the sun cast an ethereal glow around you. Cautiously he approached you, unable to stop the small smile that formed on his lips as he saw your face. He realised he had almost forgotten what you looked like, it had been so long since he had seen you. The mission he embarked on with Thor was a long one and the only time he saw your face when he came back was when there was fury and desolation painted across it unlike now. Now he was looking at a different you, a healed you, a new you. He could see the sadness lurking beneath your smile, the heartbreak, the woe but he could also see the determination of your tense body trying to keep those emotions at bay.

“It’s a nice day.” You spoke, the first normal sentence you had said in what felt like forever.

“Yes.” Loki agreed, turning his focus to outside as he stood next to you.

“I think I’m going to take a walk.” You said evenly, opening your eyes and glancing at Loki who had his eyes closed.

“I could come with you, if you’d like.” He suggested, unsure of how you’d respond. A thick silence settled between you both as Loki awaited your answer. You wanted to say no, you wanted to hate him, blame him, hit him but you knew he mourned too. You could hear him sometimes, in the silence of the night, sleep plagued with terror before he’d wake up gasping or more painfully, calling out for Thor. It was those times you remembered that you may have lost your beau but Loki had lost his brother. He was hurting too. No doubt feeling alone too. So you said yes and soon, the two of you went on a walk.

The walk was quiet, both of you silent as you wandered through the local park letting the sun coat your skin. It felt nice to be outside. The sound of people around you drew you out of the recluse part of your mind and you let yourself forget about your own life for a moment as you focused instead on the sound of laughter. It was blissful. You were content in this new reality until Loki quickly spun you around causing you to snap back to reality.

“Let’s go this way.” He insisted.

“What are you doing?” You huffed, moving out of his grip and turning around before you were met by a large poster advertising Rogers which was seemingly a new musical. You instantly teared up as you looked at the depiction of Thor, Loki placing his hand on your shoulder. “Stop!” You snapped, moving out of his grip and towards the poster. Reaching it, you ran your fingers across his name as tears began brimming in the corners of your eyes.

“Y/n I’m sorry.” Loki apologised, standing next to you.

“It’s not your fault” you replied, Loki’s eyes rounding as he heard your words. He knew you only meant the poster but it was comforting nonetheless. “None of it is your fault.” You added, Loki’s gaze turning to yours as he heard you. He couldn’t help himself as his lip began to tremble before he cleared his throat, composing himself. “I’m sorry for how I’ve treated you.”

“You don’t need to apologise.” He insisted.

“I’m so sorry” you whispered, turning to face him as a tear rolled down your cheek “I just—I miss him and I feel so alone.”

“Y/n” Loki began, wiping the tear from your cheek “you are not alone.” He insisted, pulling you against him as he hugged you and for once since it happened, you didn’t feel alone.

The next few months were slow as you and Loki began building a friendship, seeking company in one another’s presence. Occasionally he’d cook and the two of you would eat together. The first time was awkward, neither of you knowing what to say but now it was almost routine. You began looking forward to dinner with Loki.

More months passed and the both of you grew more comfortable around eachother in the sense that neither of you hid your emotions anymore. There were times you woke up in a good mood and others you woke up feeling as if Thor had just been taken away from you. Those mornings, the teary ones, Loki was always there to calm you, to reassure you, to hold you. You returned the favour, aiding him at night when he’d awake gasping for air. You’d sometimes tell him a short story about something you had experienced, he liked those, they soothed him. Both of you often shared your memories about Thor, both of you finding solace in them.

As it approached the anniversary of Thor’s death, the two of you grew quiet again, neither of you wanting to face the fact that it had been a whole year without him. You almost felt guilty remembering all the times you had smiled since his passing, the times you had laughed, the short moments where you had forgotten him all together and allowed yourself to simply exist. They made you feel peccant. You knew Loki felt the same; he stopped cooking, he stopped speaking to you. You missed him. Before, it seemed impossible to live in the same place as someone and to almost forget their face yet that’s how you felt about Loki, you had forgotten his face, his smile, his warming company. You had to fix this so you decided you’d cook for a change.

Smelling something burning from his room, Loki quickly rushed to the kitchen, grabbing the fire blanket and tossing it over the small fire you had started on the stove.

“I’m such an idiot” you scolded yourself “I just wanted to make something for us to eat but I’ve ruined it.” You continued. Loki could tell you were growing very upset.

“Calm down.” He tried to soothe you.

“No!” You exclaimed, throwing the utensil you had in your hand at the wall “I just wanted to—to surprise you. I wanted us to eat together and n—now I’ve—” you stuttered, beginning to cry.

“Its okay” Loki smiled, holding your cheeks in his hands as he got your attention “how about I clean up and you can order food?” He suggested.

“Where have you been Loki?” You murmured, looking into his eyes “I’ve missed you, where have you been?”

“I’ve been right here.” He answered.

“No” you sniveled, “you haven’t.”

Loki had to blink back his own tears as he looked down at you, you looked so forlorn, he had abandoned you. He had unknowingly pushed you away so much and he regretted it, deeply.

“Loki” you uttered “I need you.”

Your words reverberated through his body as he tried to process the meaning behind them. Before he could stop himself, he was leaning into you, pressing his lips softly against yours. He hated himself, he knew that you were going to push him backwards and maybe even slap him or at least he thought you would. He was shocked when you pulled away for a moment before standing on your tiptoes and capturing his lips in a passionate kiss. His hands found your back as he pulled you against him, deepening the kiss. Your hands flew up to his hair, running your fingers through the tame, obsidian tendrils causing Loki to almost shiver. You felt perfect underneath his hands. Pushing you backwards, Loki sat you on the dining table, standing between your legs as he continued kissing you. His lips ventured to your neck, your chin tilting up towards the ceiling granting him further access as he pulled at your shirt, wanting to kiss more of your skin.

His lips met yours again with a newfound ferocity as your fingers worked his belt buckle before undoing it. Loki pushed your legs further apart as you lifted your skirt after pulling your panties down your legs. He was quick with pulling his cock out of his boxers and guiding it straight to your moist centre.

Both of you exhaled as he pushed inside, your tight walls clenching around him already; it had been so long. He moved in and out of you at a steady pace, both of you reveling in the feeling of something as habitual as sex. Your eyes were closed tightly, Loki’s were open. He regarded you with laudation in his eyes, it made him feel iniquitous. He had to stop himself from moaning your name as your hands found his back, traveling underneath his shirt where your nails drew harsh lines. Your legs wrapped around his, holding him in place, inviting him further inside. In this moment, for the first time, he felt whole. You completed him.

“Fuckk” you moaned, Loki speeding his thrusts as he heard you. You sounded seraphic in this moment. “Right theree” you mewled, nails digging into his shoulders; it was a thrilling pain “just like that” he was certain your voice alone could drive him to completion “Thorrr” you whimpered, your voice sounding unmelodious to him now.

Your eyes flew open as you realised your blunder. Your gaze met Loki’s as he paused his movements.

“I’m sor—” you began.

“No, I’m sorry” he quickly apologised, pulling out of you “I got carried away.”

“Loki wait.” You called after him, pulling your skirt down as you stood. “Don’t leave me.” You added worriedly causing Loki to stop in his tracks.

“Y/n, you’ve always got me.” He assured, turning around to face you. “Just not like that” he added quietly “it was too soon, I’m sorry.” He apologised again before leaving you standing horrified in the middle of the kitchen.

Loki’s in his Mitski era 🥺

Tags:

@lokisgoodgirl @thenotoriouserg @chantsdemarins @donaweasley @xorpsbane @mcufan72 @loz-3 @evelyn-kingsley @sailorholly @lovingchoices14 @lokiedokiee @noideakitten @mochie85 @mischief2sarawr @lokiprompts @lulubelle814 @fictive-sl0th @peaches1958 @gigglingtiggerv2 @tmilover1993 @lyds247 @dustychinchilla74 @lokis-dark-queen @november-rayne @12-pm-510 @vickie5546 @newtomofgods @eyesbluelikethetitanic @lokiestorch @somewhereinthegalaxi @beautyb1ade @angelilacsworld @lokidokieokie @mushypork

[hollowed-theory-hall]

The Riddle of Tom Riddle: Part 4/7

(Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, part 5, part 6, Part 7)

Home Sweet Hogwarts

Continuing with Tom's life at Hogwarts. He learns magic, makes Horcruxes, and is still as lonely as in the orphanage but probably isn't yet as evil as Dumbledore likes to make him out to be.

This is the post where I finally explain why Tom would ask Slughorn how to make a Horcrux after he already made 2 of them.

This turned out a little longer than I was expecting, but... 🤷‍♀️

Slytherin's Legacy and the Chamber of Secrets

We know Tom opened the Chamber of Secrets and we know Myrtle Warren died. But I want to ask why he opened the chamber? I mean, if he really wanted to kill muggleborns, I'd expect someone competent and intelligent like him to kill more than one.

“To ask you how you died,” said Harry. Myrtle’s whole aspect changed at once. She looked as though she had never been asked such a flattering question. “Ooooh, it was dreadful,” she said with relish. “It happened right in here. I died in this very stall. I remember it so well. I’d hidden because Olive Hornby was teasing me about my glasses. The door was locked, and I was crying, and then I heard somebody come in. They said something funny. A different language, I think it must have been. Anyway, what really got me was that it was a boy speaking. So I unlocked the door, to tell him to go and use his own toilet, and then —” Myrtle swelled importantly, her face shining. “I died.” “How?” said Harry. “No idea,” said Myrtle in hushed tones. “I just remember seeing a pair of great, big, yellow eyes. My whole body sort of seized up, and then I was floating away. . . .”

(Chamber of Secrets, pages 276-277)

Myrtle graciously describes her death for us. And all in all, this doesn't sound planned. Far from it. She was crying in a locked stall and went out becouse she heard a boy and wanted to tell him to leave. She saw the eyes of the basilisk the moment she left the stall.

I'd hardly call this well planned or intended. And the fact Tom doesn't kill anyone else supports this even more.

“Sit down,” said Dippet. “I’ve just been reading the letter you sent me.” “Oh,” said Riddle. He sat down, gripping his hands together very tightly. “My dear boy,” said Dippet kindly, “I cannot possibly let you stay at school over the summer. Surely you want to go home for the holidays?” “No,” said Riddle at once. “I’d much rather stay at Hogwarts than go back to that — to that —” “You live in a Muggle orphanage during the holidays, I believe?” said Dippet curiously. “Yes, sir,” said Riddle, reddening slightly. “You are Muggle-born?” “Half-blood, sir,” said Riddle. “Muggle father, witch mother.” “And are both your parents — ?” “My mother died just after I was born, sir. They told me at the orphanage she lived just long enough to name me — Tom after my father, Marvolo after my grandfather.” Dippet clucked his tongue sympathetically. “The thing is, Tom,” he sighed, “special arrangements might have been made for you, but in the current circumstances. . . .” “You mean all these attacks, sir?” said Riddle, and Harry’s heart leapt, and he moved closer, scared of missing anything. “Precisely,” said the headmaster. “My dear boy, you must see how foolish it would be of me to allow you to remain at the castle when term ends. Particularly in light of the recent tragedy . . . the death of that poor little girl. . . . You will be safer by far at your orphanage. As a matter of fact, the Ministry of Magic is even now talking about closing the school. We are no nearer locating the — er — source of all this unpleasantness. . . .”

(Chamber of Secrets, page 227)

This isn't exactly regarding Slytherin's legacy, but I found it important nonetheless for Tom's character. Tom really hates the orphanage. And for good reason, not just what I mentioned in the previous post, but WW2 started by this point.

For context, Tom opened the chamber in his fifth year, which was in 1942. 1942 was at the height of World War II. In the past two summers (1940 and 1941) Tom was in London during the Blitz. He was there in the rubble and the bomb shelters and he is quite rightfully pissed that Dippet calls that being "safe".

It's not exactly related but Dippet even asked if he was muggleborn, to tell if the monster of the chamber would go after him. Which I find curious. It is relevant for something I mention later in this post, but it generally means most of everyone assumed him to be muggleborn during his school years and treated him as such.

The point is, Tom is unsafe in the orphanage, we're now it not only ridicule and loneliness that awaited him, but starvation, death, and air raids. This helplessness against death he faced in the two years leading up to his first Horcrux was probably the final push for him to try and search for a way to be immortal.

Becouse all his magic does no good against the bombs.

“It was my word against Hagrid’s, Harry. Well, you can imagine how it looked to old Armando Dippet. On the one hand, Tom Riddle, poor but brilliant, parentless but so brave, school prefect, model student . . . on the other hand, big, blundering Hagrid, in trouble every other week, trying to raise werewolf cubs under his bed, sneaking off to the Forbidden Forest to wrestle trolls . . . but I admit, even I was surprised how well the plan worked. I thought someone must realize that Hagrid couldn’t possibly be the Heir of Slytherin. It had taken me five whole years to find out everything I could about the Chamber of Secrets and discover the secret entrance . . . as though Hagrid had the brains, or the power! “Only the Transfiguration teacher, Dumbledore, seemed to think Hagrid was innocent. He persuaded Dippet to keep Hagrid and train him as gamekeeper. Yes, I think Dumbledore might have guessed. . . . Dumbledore never seemed to like me as much as the other teachers did. . . .”

(Chamber of Secrets, page 288)

Here I mostly want to note 2 main things.

The first, Tom mentions how the teachers saw him. Remember the act of politeness I mentioned in my previous post, this is it. Tom became so comfortable in his mask thanks to Dumbledore's lack of empathy. Brilliant, perfect, and polite.

The second is that he mentioned he searched for the Chamber for five years. As this is his fifth year, it means he searched for it during all his Hogwarts years. It means that eleven-year-old, young Tom Riddle discovered his parseltongue is related to Salazar Slytherin and he became obsessed with finding more of its legacy.

And, it's easy to see why. He knew nothing about his family besides his own name, he, like any orphan, was curious. And when he realizes how important his family, and by extension he, is he becomes obsessed with learning more.

He searched for the Chamber of Secrets not just to gain power or to kill muggleborns, he just wanted to know about his family. To feel part of a legacy. He also wanted power, he likes being powerful and being able to defend himself from those who scorn him. But even when he had the power — he didn't use it to kill anyone. Only by accident. And once the accident happened, he made use of it.

We'll keep seeing this crop up in Tom's life. He wants to be special and important. He wants to be treated like he's better, becouse that's what he always told himself. Him being special validates all the hate he got growing up and his beliefs that jealousy motivated it.

The other thing we're seeing crop up here and later is Tom's sentimentality. Dumbledore may say Tom lacks the capacity for love, but I think Dumbledore is bullshit. Tom is an incredibly sentimental person (he even calls himself out on it in GOF). There's a reason he chose the Founders Artifacts as his Horcruxrs, there's a reason he hid them all in Britain even when they could have been safer abroad — he's incredibly sentimental.

He loves Hogwarts. He loved that first place that ever felt like a home to him so much that he placed pieces of his soul in artifacts related to it, even if simpler items like a coin would've been safer and easier to hide.

Now, to further proof, it's never been about muggleborns for Tom:

“Haven’t I already told you,” said Riddle quietly, “that killing Mudbloods doesn’t matter to me anymore? For many months now, my new target has been — you.” Harry stared at him

(Chamber of Secrets, page 289)

The final note from this section is about the diary Horcrux less than about Tom. But this is important because we see Tom follow that same behavior pattern later in during the second Wizarding War.

Harry tells Tom he failed to kill any muggleborns and Tom agrees with him. During the second book, the diary didn't care about muggleborns, the same as the real Voldemort, he only cared about killing Harry.

Throughout the series Voldemort is obsessed with killing Harry Potter. Less becouse of who he is and more what he represents.

Becouse young Tom searched for validation and found it in academics at Hogwarts. The teachers loved brilliant prefect Tom Riddle, so he put all his effort into that. Into being the perfect model student.

This perfectionism is seen in his obsession with Harry, too. Diary Tom is interested in Harry because he failed to kill him. Harry is his one failure on his perfect record — and that is why he must die. To rectify his failing.

I'll expand on this more in the future, but the fact this obsession with correcting his failiur named Harry Potter is true for both Voldemort and Diary Tom just strengthens this point.

Horcruxes and Immortality

Moving ahead in Tom's life, I want to talk about Horcruxes again. Honestly, I'll probably keep coming back to this becouse it's a big part of Tom's character. Specifically, I want to talk about Slughorn's conversation with Tom about them.

Half a dozen boys were sitting around Slughorn, all on harder or lower seats than his, and all in their mid-teens. Harry recognized Voldemort at once. His was the most handsome face and he looked the most relaxed of all the boys. His right hand lay negligently upon the arm of his chair; with a jolt, Harry saw that he was wearing Marvolo’s goldand-black ring; he had already killed his father. “Sir, is it true that Professor Merrythought is retiring?” he asked. “Tom, Tom, if I knew I couldn’t tell you,” said Slughorn, wagging a reproving, sugar-covered finger at Riddle, though ruining the effect slightly by winking. “I must say, I’d like to know where you get your information, boy, more knowledgeable than half the staff, you are.” Riddle smiled; the other boys laughed and cast him admiring looks.

(Half-Blood Prince, page 369)

You know what's weird about this conversation? That a lot of fans speak of it as if that's when Tom learned how to make Horcruxes when in fact, Harry notices the Gaunt family ring and comes to the currect conclusion — Tom already killed his father.

It means this talk with Slughorn happened after Tom already made 2 Horcruxes. It means he knows how to make one and knows it's possible to make more than one. So why ask?

Why potentially implement himself in dangerous illegal magic? Why hint he might be a murderer? Why risk it all for something he already knows?

Well, let's look at that conversation:

“Sir, I wondered what you know about . . . about Horcruxes?” Slughorn stared at him, his thick fingers absentmindedly caressing the stem of his wine glass. “Project for Defense Against the Dark Arts, is it?” But Harry could tell that Slughorn knew perfectly well that this was not schoolwork. “Not exactly, sir,” said Riddle. “I came across the term while reading and I didn’t fully understand it.” “No . . . well . . . you’d be hard-pushed to find a book at Hogwarts that’ll give you details on Horcruxes, Tom, that’s very Dark stuff, very Dark indeed,” said Slughorn. “But you obviously know all about them, sir? I mean, a wizard like you — sorry, I mean, if you can’t tell me, obviously — I just knew if anyone could tell me, you could — so I just thought I’d ask —” It was very well done, thought Harry, the hesitancy, the casual tone, the careful flattery, none of it overdone. He, Harry, had had too much experience of trying to wheedle information out of reluctant people not to recognize a master at work. He could tell that Riddle wanted the information very, very much; perhaps had been working toward this moment for weeks. “Well,” said Slughorn, not looking at Riddle, but fiddling with the ribbon on top of his box of crystalized pineapple, “well, it can’t hurt to give you an overview, of course. Just so that you understand the term. A Horcrux is the word used for an object in which a person has concealed part of their soul.” “I don’t quite understand how that works, though, sir,” said Riddle. His voice was carefully controlled, but Harry could sense his excitement.

...

“. . . few would want it, Tom, very few. Death would be preferable.” But Riddle’s hunger was now apparent; his expression was greedy, he could no longer hide his longing. “How do you split your soul?” “Well,” said Slughorn uncomfortably, “you must understand that the soul is supposed to remain intact and whole. Splitting it is an act of violation, it is against nature.” “But how do you do it?” “By an act of evil — the supreme act of evil. By committing murder. Killing rips the soul apart. The wizard intent upon creating a Horcrux would use the damage to his advantage: He would encase the torn portion —” “Encase? But how — ?” “There is a spell, do not ask me, I don’t know!” said Slughorn, shaking his head like an old elephant bothered by mosquitoes. “Do I look as though I have tried it — do I look like a killer?” “No, sir, of course not,” said Riddle quickly. “I’m sorry . . . I didn’t mean to offend . . .”

...

“Yes, sir,” said Riddle. “What I don’t understand, though — just out of curiosity — I mean, would one Horcrux be much use? Can you only split your soul once? Wouldn’t it be better, make you stronger, to have your soul in more pieces, I mean, for instance, isn’t seven the most powerfully magical number, wouldn’t seven — ?” “Merlin’s beard, Tom!” yelped Slughorn. “Seven! Isn’t it bad enough to think of killing one person? And in any case . . . bad enough to divide the soul . . . but to rip it into seven pieces . . .” Slughorn looked deeply troubled now: He was gazing at Riddle as though he had never seen him plainly before, and Harry could tell that he was regretting entering into the conversation at all. “Of course,” he muttered, “this is all hypothetical, what we’re discussing, isn’t it? All academic . . .” “Yes, sir, of course,” said Riddle quickly.

(Half-Blood Prince, pages 496-499)

So, let's recap this conversation:

Tom asks about Horcruxes and gets excited when Slughorn seems to know about them, the moment Slughorn starts speaking of how vile and evil Horcruxes are though, Tom changes his demeanor, more apologetic, hesitant, and polite. The mask is back. Tom continued and prodded a bit further, but not with the same hunger and excitement as before.

So, what does that tell us? Why is Tom having this conversation? What does he stand to gain? Not new information obviously...

In my former post, I mentioned Tom is looking for connections as he never really had any.

He's excited at the possibility of talking about magic he is interested in with someone, specifically — a teacher. Tom, who was scorned all his life in the Orphanage gets to Hogwarts and the teachers love him because he's polite and brilliant. And he loves all that positive attention. He boasts about it to Harry in the Chamber in an earlier quote I mentioned.

This is him seeking that attention and validation again, from Slughin, a person who praised his magical academic accomplishments often before. Tom is trying to open up and connect with Slughorn over another magical accomplishment.

But Slughorn shuts him down, and so he retreats from the conversation. Making it seem like he doesn't know how Horcruxes are made so as to not raise suspicions after he saw Slughorn didn't really know much about Horcruxes.

This scene isn't a future Dark Lord trying to learn how to become immortal — this is a sixteen-year-old boy, who was only ever recognized for academic magical accomplishment trying to gain praise for figuring out the impossible — how to become immortal. That's what he built up to, he mentioned the number so he could tell Slughorn how he figured out you could make more, how he went farther in magic than anyone else.

On the same note...

Tom doesn't really mention friends often, and I want to talk about that a bit about why he is so desperate for connection.

Think about it, he came poor, an orphan, and seemingly a muggleborn into Slytherin, the house of blood purism, during the height of Grindelwald's blood purity war against muggles. I can imagine the first few years until he proved he was the heir of Slytherin and incredibly magically powerful were not pleasant to him, and that's an understatement.

So afterward, when he does interact positively with his housemates, yes, he calls them friends, but it isn't friendship.

It was a name I was already using at Hogwarts, to my most intimate friends only, of course

(Chamber of Secrets, page 290)

“Listen to me, reliving family history . . .” he said quietly, “why, I am growing quite sentimental. . . . But look, Harry! My true family returns. . . .”

(Goblet of Fire, page 646)

“My friends,” he said, after a moment’s pause, “will carry on without me, I am sure.” “I am glad to hear that you consider them friends,” said Dumbledore. “I was under the impression that they are more in the order of servants.”

(Half-Blood Prince, page 444)

He refers to his followers as friends and family repeatedly, even after graduating from Hogwarts. Now, I don't think Tom actually considers them real friends or family, but he never really had either, not in any deep sense.

I'll delve more in a later post about how he does feel affection and does have some bounds he cares more for (like Bellatrix, whom he does care for), but none of them is an example of a healthy meaningful relationship. So no wonder a sixteen-year-old Tom Riddle is so desperate for connection that he almost implicates himself in murder — because he never had any real meaningful connection.

[isabeauwolf]

Alright.

Since it's been days since we've gotten to see our beloved birdman Kai Chisaki one more time in the manga, we've all let our feelings out about his ending, either you hated it or not. Felts depressed and sad.

I gotta ask all of my fellow Overhaul, Kai Chisaki stans and fans: What made you pick Overhaul as your favorite character/ Villain in MHA?

What made him draw you in?

Fascinate you?

Fall for him so hard, he drew you away from your previous anime/manga husband or wifu?

Where you a manga or anime only before his handsome villainous yakuza birdman came into your life?

Was it is character design? Mannerisms? His powerful quirk? His plan to erase quirks, his serum and determination to restore the Shie Hassaikai into power? His godly voice by both Kenjiro Tsuda and Kellen Goff?

(Pst, honestly, I love it all ;) His man's got my heart is a death grip; even if, he's competing with Trafalgar Law for my attention and affection, and now Dabi.)

Instead of throwing around all the hate surrounding this man. Let's send him off with a bang! Love, support, the whole she-bang, even if, you still high disagree with his actions towards Pops and Eri.

-------------------------------------------------------------

(If every seems out of order or all over the place, I'm sorry! Please be, patient with me, and thank you!)

I've give my personal thoughts on Kai Chisaki, Overhaul. My yakuza birdman husband here! (huge breakdown/ summary, rant about this man; spoilers ahead!) Not like, I haven't been doing that the whole time, I've been on here XD I've talked with other Overhaul/Kai stans and fans on here, giving my two cents, which I love and appreciate to everyone who's talked and fangirled/boyed with me!

Be warned that I might to ramble, and this whole thing might now make sense, or is all over the place, again, I'm sorry! But if you don't mind, I thank you!

I started off as an anime only, and watched on my own time. Even if I heard AFO's introduction, and All For One's and All Might's battle at Kamino Ward and All Might saying goodbye One For All in subbed first; my husband was watching it the living room while I was on my laptop watching a different series. The music drew me in and I couldn't look away, watching the whole battle with baited breath until it was over.

Then I watched the series by myself since I couldn't sleep months after. Cheering for Deku, smiling and crying with hm.

I watch in dubbed first, since it's hard to focus on subbed while having a toddler running around. XD Then rewatch it in subbed form.

Anyways, at the end of season 3 we get a tease of Overhaul's introduction. His voice, golden eyes drew me in, hook line and sinker.

I've always been a sucker for bad boys and I love a man that wears a suit. lol So it gave Overhaul some brownie points. I know it isn't just me! Don't lie, haha.

The fact that Overhaul straight up challenged Shigaraki for the spot as the next King of the Underworld, pointing out his mistakes and lack of motivation once more; the same as Stain had in the previous hard, showing that Overhaul himself had been in the game a bit longer than Shiggy.

Overhaul while insulting the younger villain was indeed asking the right questions. Shiggy had misused and lost his powerful NPC's during the Training Camp attack with the Vanguard Action Squad, Muscular and Moonfish.

He had every right to question his motives.

Overhaul is blunt and spoke the truth about Shiggy's leadership skills, even if it ending with Magne's death. As sad as it was she did attack him first when if she was defending her belief's and the league, she didn't have to die. Compress didn't have to lose an arm.

The confrontation and damage done on both side makes you see that Overhaul is a dangerous man, with an equally dangerous quirk on top of being able to bring someone back to life if he wanted to, showcasing the quirk erasing bullets. We hadn't really seen an onscreen death before then, or at least, not that I remember.

Overhaul is cold blooded and driven, but calm and calculated; he's a man who's not afraid to get his hands dirty when he needs to, despite his quirks drawback and hate of the aftermath.

When we meet him again with Shigaraki at the Shie Hassaikai underground meeting room, and the bits given by Sir Nighteye, it's clear that Overhaul has the means to til the scales of Villain and Hero society, if he was given more time and wasn't fighting against the clock. He still needed more funding and man power to mass product both sets of bullets.

Had he succeeded and gotten away with his arms still intact, despite losing Eri to the Heroes, we might have seen him and the right bullets again down the line, but it wasn't in the cards.

(We finally get to see Kai, our birdman unmasked and his poor man get's done soooo dirty! First it's his stoic and impressive, criminally handsome face, then Shiggy took his hard work, him and Mr Compress tag-teamed taking his hands away, leaving him quirkless, helpless, in despair and he's terrified! Not for himself, but because without his quirk he can't reverse the damage he's done to pop's, he can't wake him up or talk to him again.)

Underestimating the Heroes, The League, and being overly cocky and arrogant played a major part of his own fall. His isolation from others and seeing his subordinates and closest friend as pawns to be used and thrown away didn't help, yet the men closest to his inner circle were indeed the most loyal of his followers.

It wasn't outright said, but shown that Overhaul himself was forgiving and understanding when Chrono or Nemoto made mistakes, he didn't scold them or yell at them.

( If I missed anything in this summary, let me know. XD )

He's a well written character and villain. A man possessed and obsessed with fulfilling his goals, repaying Pops, the man who took him in and gave him a home, a place to be himself.

The way Pops found Chisaki as a boy, alone, covered in filth and I imagine he was hungry, always made me feel as if we were missing something from his past. He wanted more than anything to replay the man who saved him and rebuilding the Shie Hassaikai's former glory and reputation along with returning people quirkless.

Might have saved so many lives who were eventually lost, but at the end of the day, he still choose the darkest route and solution.

If the Quirk Doomsday theory we've heard about and snippets we've seen so far. Different combinations of quirks are getting stronger and stronger, people like Touya who's bodies destroys itself while using his fire. There may come a time where not even support items could save a person from their overly strong and destructive quirk.

Could you imagine what he could have done with his quirk, if he was a doctor?! He could have replaced recovery girl's position as UA's school nurse or even a Doctor since healing quirks are so rare.

Of course, I'm not saying what he did was justified by any means.

Kai Chisaki, Overhaul is practically The Fullmetal Alchemist in MHA without the use of Equivalent Exchange! Yes, he threw away his human name, becoming, "a demon with no heart" as Pops says.

As we see him fuse with Nemoto and Rikiya Katsukame, each fusion he becomes more monstrous, a much more darker version of himself; fulling giving into "Overhaul," his villain persona, not carrying who he has to hurt to get his way.

I will admit that I'm down bad for Kai/Overhaul and his Monsterhaul form, Nemoto version, but the giant monster form, lol

Now, let's get down to the nitty gritty.

Knowing about him being in Dr Garaki's/AFO's orphanage and that Shigaraki has a copy of his quirk. They more they parallel each other so much more after that reveal.

It explains so much about his character!

Kai Chisaki won't flat out say it or address it, neither has Horikoshi but its clear that he was heavily traumatized and abused as a kid before Pops found him.

Oh yes, the trauma bucket! Like our beloved characters in the series doesn't have enough trauma as it is. Let's see how far that habit hole goes for Kai? -_-

The lack of remorse for his victims, justifies his action, manipulative, lack of physical response to violence, deception, and hostel, his acts are usually well planned in advance, irritability and aggressive behavior when provoked, reckless disregard for safety of others - antisocial and sociopathic tendencies.

Lack of empathy, believes he's special and the only one who can cure the world, need for admiration from Pops, his abandonment and self-worth issues go hand-in-hand with his fear of his father figure throwing him out of the Shie Hassaikai with his final ultimatum of dropping his plan.

Out of everything, we only get sprinkles here and there that Kai had done before snapping.

You can see it, the way he tenses and his hands ball into a fists, no doubt, surprised, shocked, hurt even before redirected into anger and violence.

Putting his father figure into a coma, and taking matters into his own hands. Become the villain, we all know and love, adore, praise, however you see him as.

Before becoming "Overhaul," Kai used to get into brawls with anyone who dared disrespect the Shie Hassaikai, and wants to help the boss; protecting the honor of the yakuza and protecting them from being called, "Villains." (Classic delinquent behavior, I imagine he did it in high school since we've seen him do it as an adult.)

We see him wear normal clothes: black dress pants, blazer and purple dress shirt, no gloves and a black duster mask over his face. (I'd honestly, love to see Kai in more civilian, classy outfits! More unbuttoned shirts and all, please!)

Even if Pops scolding him and explaining that they must protect civilians instead of hurting them, the old man still affectionately pets the top of his head and praises him for protecting their honor. Which in itself is a kind gesture, but something I think he took a little too much into his heart.

The scolding for doing something dishonorable, but praised for his intentions has overtime been taken form into the most cold and logical extreme actions.

Nobody can deny that Overhaul's got drip! XD

Overhaul's more professional outfits: the red and gold plague doctor's mask, and white gloves. Borrowing inspiration from All For One, he uses his quirks name as his alias, his Villain name and quirk ability, the idea for his quirk erasing and serum, as "Overhaul", he can kill and wants to change the world.

To preserve the past, he must engage with the present and became a villain out of necessity.

What's the difference?

The differences between a young Kai standing up for his father's honor and the snarling demon he has become. All of it against a world that had clearly outgrown him and the old ways of the Yakuza, but he refused to accept it and to protect his only family and most precious person, Pops.

As we've been in the latest chapter of MHA, without his quirk, without his arms and plague mask, and the last time we saw him. Kai Chisaki, inside is still a boy who wants to make his father figure proud and wants attention and praise.

As Pop's said before he took things too far again, shoving the older man's wisdom and wishes aside, taking action into his own hands, not only crossing the line between the gray that Pop's held against the Villains' and Heroes, Black and White, Kai instead, erased the line and jumped over it, making his own line and walked into a dangerous and dishonorable path.

======= What I missed last minute, sorry guy's.... I'm almost done, I swear! =======

It's clear, that he's smart and well educated, he could have studied as a medical student, read medical journals during his free time or just because he was a huge science and medical geek, we will never know.

My bet's on the ladder, practicing how to control his quirk and for the fun of it. He's the type of person to obssess with something and run away with it, a concerting amount.

You can't tell me that Pop's didn't walk in to Kai's room or living room, seeing Kai asleep on the couch or floor with a book either on his face or on his chest! Or Kai geeking out over a first edition or rare medical journal he found or Pop's and Hari had given him as a birthday present!

The birdman is such a workaholic that he's no doubt forgotten about his birthday, if Pop's or Hari didn't plan something for him!

If Kai is such a health nut and germ, wash your hands after every speck of dusk lands on your hands, then I need to know his skincare routine!

Do you think his hands is soft?

We know he works out from how jacked he is from his back and abs, fuck, I'd gladly claim him like a tree X////////////x

I'm not the only one who wanted him to have those traditional tatts, right? Of course, it's optional and traditional, but come on! I excepted to see the Shie Hassaikai's embalm, sakura or at least, a raven something! Anything! Hell, all three! Well, in my fanfic he does.

Also, Lady Nagant, you lucky woman, getting to touch and dress Kai!

Wish, I could trade places to pamper and comfort this man.

Screw you, AFO, Kai comes first.

I don't care if Kai comes off as stuck-up, spoiled rich brat, a bubble bath princess, narcissist and a asshole. If given the change to rock this man's world and fuck his brains out, you bet your ass I would!

If he could put up with my ditzy, clumsy, sassy, way too honest and smart-ass mouth, then fine. Baby needs to laugh more! I wanna see him smile!

--------------------

Well, it's almost 2am and I'm going to be. XD If you've had to through my rant/rambling of Kai. Share your thoughts with me... again, sorry for it being too long and wayyyyy all over the place.

Of course, I always forget something...... XD

[lavandaea]

*inhales deeply*

There's spoilers ahead so, yeah, be careful.

This weekend episodes have actually broken my soul.

He didn't even need his feelings to be reciprocate, HE JUST WANTED TO BE WITH HER.

Dear writers, some things to ask, why so much screen time to second male lead? Why create such chemistry? Such backstory? (Spoiler alert: that will make us sympathize with the supposed villain) To just fuck*ing rip his heart out and pulverize it like Grandma with the cow bones, yes, just like that.

Let me get this straight, after having been raised in an environment of violence, pain and God knows what else for God knows how long, he falls in love. He experiences ✨feelings✨ ,he puts all his trust in her like never before, he shares his past and then he gets betrayed.

I swear I never seen someone cry so with so much meaning, feeling, with so much back there.

We made progress for the last (at least) five episodes TO JUST END IT IN A SINGLE ONE.

This could have been handled a lot better in a lot of ways and about a lot of topics that I could actually write an essay.

Let's begin the the main leads.

So, in order to have some sort of feeling about ML and FL loving eachother you need to put screen time ON them. Yeah, they support eachother, they have known far before Si Oh, they are funny and a lot of things more. They even kissed and very passionately, wow.

Just one thing, Why didn't I even blink during that scene but found myself hitting the pillow and blushing when Si Oh did such mundane things as taking her home, opening doors for her, fixing her purse, hair, looking at her with those "I love you" eyes,👏feeling👏guilty👏about👏making👏her👏uncomfortable👏 with👏his👏feelings👏for👏her HELLO??, WAVING HER BACK WHILE HE WATCHED HER GO, SMILE EVERY DAMN TIME HE SAW HER?

I´ll tell you why. Because I know, thanks to you, that Si Oh was experiencing for the very first time what it's like to have human interaction that doesn't involve violence or having to be wary of everything and everyone all the time.

Even after having lived a life of shit, even after still living a life of absolute shit he still wanted to be connect, to be happy, to make her happy, to love and be loved. Moreover, I couldn't help just to feel happy for him, sad, angry, fucking rageous (not more than him, obviously).

Meanwhile, I barely know Hee Sik aka the male lead.

I remember seeing his mother once and I think that's what I understood about his private life. Sorry, I forgot about his deceased brother, that could have been a good topic to develop if it wasn't just mentioned once somewhere in the sixth chapter and left there to rot. Other than that, I know he is a cop, loves his cops friends and loves Nam Soon, also he is really loyal and good person.

Nice👍, very nice. But that's not personality or backstory, that's a job and some general traits everyone should have to live in a society and have a job where you usually do the teamwork thingy.

So, what else??

Or does the man just exist for his job and girlfriend?

It is just I simply don't understand it, you create a seriously complex character that has all kinds of potential and you want us to root for...Yeah, no. He literally could be an extra with how little and simple information we receive about him.

Even Shi Oh had some time to box being a drug dealer and full time whipped for her.

I'm just saying that you want me to suddenly dislike someone you took a considerable amount of time explaining but I have to like this good guy because you just pointed at him 👉🧍, and said, "here's the good guy, please love him"

Sorry, I cant do that.

If you haven't noticed, you just made a character I fell obliged to sympathize.

If you wanted to make him evil and hot you should have just made him evil and hot.

It worked just as well with Jang Han Seok from Vincenzo.

Not have him have "REDEMPTION" written all over him just to go with "Actually, no. He has no chance. 😃". It is for lack of a better term, frustrating. (Pointless)

Instead, maybe you should have dedicated that screen time for the construction of the main leads relationship.

Oh, yes. Another thing since we are talking about the matter.

ML and FL relationship progress got weaker and weaker since she had started to spy on Si Oh. And then one episode it was like "Oh, yeah, forgot to tell you, they are actually dating by now" Bom, a kiss. If I need a kiss to know they are in love, there's something going on back there. If a great amount of people are rooting for a couple that is not the main one, something is going on there.

Something lacking.

Scenes of them in love: well acted, nice, cute, cool, okay. But it is like picking a random romance book and start reading it ten chapters ahead, they are in love, but how did this happen??? Last time I check, they were in a friends-catching-fealings-zone.

Where's their development?

I know where is it. In the fake relationship, that it was being used just to turn Si Oh into a complete monster with probably not chance of going back.

"You have suffered a lot, yeah, I see. Anyway here's more pain. Suffer more and go cause some trouble because if not, there's, apparently, no plot"

Nice job.

I have been saying this and I will say it again, kdrama writers/directors are not ready for traumatized villains. They are afraid of them.

[samantha-and-her-chaotic-desires]

My perspective on Alastor from Hazbin Hotel, and my ideas on how else to present him: writing AND art.

Hi guys! As y'all know, Alastor is my favorite Hazbin Hotel character. He's one of the main focuses in most of my fanfics, series, side blogs, art, etc. etc.. However, there's a certain way I write/draw/see him. This is gonna be rambly so beware!! <3 (side note: I still don't support Vivziepop's actions xx)

Under the cut I'll be giving personal portrayal, critiques, gripes, issues, compliments, and even rewrites/"redesigns". I do NOT belong Hazbin Hotel nor Alastor (created by Vivziepop). This is an interpretation of what has been produced, how I look at it, and what I can do to rewrite. I am NOT fixing anything, so please do not say that I am.

DISCLAIMER: DO NOT COME AND HARASS ME. This is MY personal interpretation of him. I have issues with Hazbin Hotel despite still being a fan, and I will address them. Any future anon hate will result in me immediately turning off anon, or the inbox itself: that is a PRIVILEGE, NOT A RIGHT.

also this might be messy and all over the place, but bare with me :) The writing portion is in more so personal portrayal rather than the redesign, so heads up!

Without further adieu, let's get into it! :D

1) Personal Portrayal:

For the longest time, I've pictured Al as the "laughing on the outside, crying on the inside" type guy. This was in the glory days of the pilot. I remember the winters where I would read fanfic and draw fanart of any potential Alastor angst. Along with this, I would slowly have him go through character development. The Hazbin pilot was a complete eye opener for creativity, and a break for me. Of course the deer overlord caught my eye, and he led me to where I am today.

To me, he is complex: not revealing motives at first, but slowly guiding us into false hope, then a betrayal. Possible redemption, but he wouldn't be a goody two-shoes after it. He'd still be a dick, he'd still make mistakes, but he's slightly softer than before. Considerate might be a stretch, but it's a start that he is working on...albeit begrudgingly. He grows to love the Hazbins, then after a while supports the hotel.

Him and Husk are more rivals/buddies than what the show portrays. Yes they bicker, but it's lighthearted instead of harmful. There would be moments where hurtful things were said/done, but after reconciliation and consequences of actions, things would get better. Yet with Husk, Alastor is soft: platonically, as I still interpret him as aro-ace. Even during shitty days//arguments, there would still be a time where they could have a drink together, play poker/whatever card game, laugh their asses off, and enjoy the company.

Nifty and Alastor would be a father/daughter duo. He took her under his wing after a mishap, and she's been loyal to him since. He cares for her and is the only one out of two he allows himself to be soft with at first. (The second would be Husk). She cleans up after Alastor's mess when need be, and it never goes unappreciated. He helps her clean some days, and it could serve as a bonding moment. Jazz music in the background, cracking jokes, and things just feeling homey.

Alastor would break the smile when comfortable: it takes a while as someone who would mask emotions, but when he occurs, he feels lighter afterwards. Crying is another story: that'll take a longer time for him to overcome. He bottles it up until it unleashes at the wrong person. After some talking it out with Charlie, he finally lets go. This all happens very slowly, not in the same episode.

He's still a cannibalistic serial killer: he will have to own up to his sins. There's no glorifying them or babying him, he's a grown ass man that needs to own up for his actions. When he does, he probably won't be redeemed for a long while. That's okay though: he needs the development.

Also haha my sona is adopted by Alastor haha /hj (but seriously, he has become one of the closest comfort characters mainly due to my own portrayal. It's fiction after all! Everyone interprets things differently!) Now, moving onto the next topic.

2) The Pilot's Alastor:

My opinion: the pilot is better than the show. Sure I still like the show, but the pilot has more charm to it, y'know?

Ed Bosco's voice for Alastor in the pilot was perfect. It was devious, menacing, dare I even say intimidating. It accommodated the radio effect well, cutting in and out. It had a drawl, yet somewhat of a light tone in certain words. He felt like a radio host that happened to be a serial killer. The laugh. The smugness. It was just amazing. We didn't know anything about him, aside from the story Vaggie told. His motive was unknown (and still kinda is). But it showed us, not told us. It was solid and quite frankly, well done.

Black Gryph0n's singing voice for him was phenomenal! It was and still is one of my favorite voices of all time. It screamed 1920s and 30s. It was witty, smooth, yet eccentric and almost booming. Insane, Inside of Every Demon Is A Lost Cause, Heaven 2 Hell, Thank You and Goodnight: those were songs I had looped for months, even years. Inside Of Every Demon Is A Lost Cause was my alarm for a whole year, then Insane.

Design wise: too red. I still love him, but he's too red. The darker shades of brown/maroon on his lapel and tie were helpful though. Somewhat. Still, he blends into the setting of Hell itself: it's not as intense in the pilot, if I can remember correctly: it was still too much, but it wasn't an eye sore to me. Continuing, I never understood the hair (and it was a struggle to draw the first time around) but I liked the ears. It was overall a cute factor to a menacing character.

We knew from streams and old pieces of work that Alastor was a momma's boy, he's mixe Creole, he's aro-ace (while asexual in canon, I still see him as aro-ace), he has a dislike for dogs, the list goes on. In the pilot days, those were the only notes of info we had, and the fans made our own spin out of it. It was a fun time, reading fanfics during the winter while it snowed. I had popcorn and my iPad out to draw, and I was simply just...enjoying the content.

Moving onto the actual, set-in-stone Alastor.

3) The Show's Alastor:

Amir Talai's voice, while pleasant, is just...lacking something. I commend his work and still think he's awesome at what he does, don't get me wrong! But the way Alastor is presented just lacks what Pilot!Alastor had. While Pilot!Alastor was mysterious and menacing voice-wise, Show!Alastor feels more mischievous and playful, more than anything. An anti-hero instead of an opposing force, per say. It's not that I have a problem with it: it just doesn't fit with what his character is supposed to be. A deeper voice does him justice.

The design, although barely changing, is still too red. Nothing against it, but I have a slight gripe with the white border of the lapel. It feels out of place, plus a frustration to remember when I'm drawing. Same thing with the monocle, but the monocle is bearable.

Alastor's writing in the show is.....I dunno how to put it. Don't get me wrong: I loved when he has screentime! It would've been completely fine...but he's supposed to be mysterious. He was too open, too pushy, and it felt like it was shoved in our faces constantly. "hAhA lOoK aT tHiS sCaWy OvErLoRd OvEr HeRe DoN't YoU sEe HiM hAhA lOoK sEe?" to put it as nicely as possible. It just feels like his potential was butchered.

Him having a feud with Vox? Still clever! Video killed the radio star after all! While Stayed Gone is one of, if not my favorite Hazbin song, it could've had more potential. More banter, more singing than "rapping"/talking (I'm not quite sure if him and Alastor's talking was rapping, but eh, who knows).

His and Lucifer's beef is entertaining but unnecessary. What was the reason? Just for shits and giggles? It might have been, but it could've been done better in a filler episode. The way the banter was and how Lucifer didn't kick Alastor's ass, despite being the literal King of Hell AND the Devil, he didn't do shit. Lucifer could've smited him in an instant, yet he didn't. Because he's a soft uwu baby. /s Though we're talking about Alastor, not Luci.

Adding on, when the scene of him and Husk came to light, I was left conflicted. We're supposed to fear him, yeah? Well, why have him around 24/7? He should be lurking in the shadows, barely participating in hotel activities yet he is always in the background just watching. This would add the mystery factor. It would make the viewers go "wait, where's Alastor?" and have them guessing. With him being shoved in our faces, it feels useless. (deadass that scene where he tortured Husk made me feel a lot of hate towards Alastor. Genuinely: I was not happy. I don't fuck with that scene).

His full demon form in Episode Five is not great. I'm sorry. I preferred the form to be similar to Episode Two, where Vox pissed him off so much. With his [Alastor's] demon form, it should be slowly morphing. Also...maybe no voodoo? Because the show hasn't done actual research into voodoo. I have a book from New Orleans about the subject, and it's so fascinating.

Now: time for more of my creative side (kinda).

4) Redesigns/Overall Ideas:

I'm probably going to get some hate here, but eh. It don't bother me, I'm just a gal providing my own thoughts. ANYWAYS with my redesign/rewrite, it's gonna be a mixture of notes and paragraphs, so please bare with me.

I. Episode Two/Stayed Gone:

The song (as much as it's one of my favs) could've been wiped out completely and we could've had shenanigans with the two! Bickering, bantering, even fighting in the streets: causing Alastor to lose his cool and transform into the demon form he had at the end of the song. Perhaps Sir Pentious was a secret aid all along, tag teaming with Vox to try and take down Alastor. Charlie intervenes, Alastor is humiliated with himself, and there could be a bonding moment between them. Scolding and glaring from Vaggie, but bonding nonetheless.

I don't have many critiques for Episode Two, so let's slide into the next one.

II. Episode Five: Dad Beat Dad:

Yikes....okay. This episode isn't my favorite, but it's somewhat still enjoyable. The Lucifer/Alastor thing though? Entertaining but useless. Also still annoyed Lucifer didn't smite Alastor's ballsy ass. The gall you have to have: then again, it was to get a rise out of Lucifer. HOWEVER: Lucifer is the literal Devil, and we could've seen his potential.

Subtle glares and comments could've been arranged in Episode Five, yet Alastor has to be courteous. It's the King of Hell, the literal Devil. While it's okay for a character to be ballsy, there has to be limits...unless the aim is for the overly smug character to get their shit rocked: in that case hell yeah!

Then, something happens to the hotel: a greater threat, possibly because of Mimzy still, but they could work together to stop it. They still hate each other, but there's still enough respect to not kill the other.

III. Design Changes (Redesigns)

Give this man curly hair, first of all. While I'm not a POC myself, I have scene human!Alastor fanart, or even some canon design Alastor fanart where they made his hair curly! I would like to see more of it, so with my personal redesign, he has curly hair. I don't have my iPad on me (alive) right now, but once I sketch out the possible redesign, I'll share it!

There's also sometimes, with redesigns of Alastor, green added into the color palette. I personally love it, but with the red I don't want him to turn out Christmas-y lmao

I feel like black pants paired with white and black 1920s/30s tap shoes could cause the red to pop out. Maybe no red tuxedo coat.

^ BUT if there was a cold winter option, a red and maroon winter coat (ironically could be made out of deer pelt/skin) could do. The color scheme would be 2019 Alastor color palette.

His ears...OUGH. I would draw out the deer ears on the side of the head, and have the curly hair. Maybe hair tufts in the ears? Optional, but again, when everything is drawn out, it'll make more sense.

I do love the cunty red eyelids and the eyelashes. Keep those. Yesyesyes.

The antlers can stay black, but I'm just more worried about them blending with the hair or not. Design reasonings and such. Also maybe different shaping? Make them look bigger, more intimidating.

OH. MY GOD. Give him radio dial eyes 24/7 instead, but in that genuine look of fear/desperation/vulnerability, the normal eyes can pop out. That's just optional though.

5) Conclusion:

That's all I really have for Alastor. As much as I love him, he's flawed. This is a post that took me a few months to complete, I had it cooking up in here but life got in the way. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE do not harass me. But I hope you enjoyed my rambles!! <3

[irisintheafterglow]

More Than It Seams (Chapter 4)

summary: you're a hero costume tech working for one of the biggest fashion companies in quirk society, and the days until the most important fashion event of the year are dwindling fast. if you weren't stressed enough, a certain half-and-half hero keeps appearing with rips in his suit. (pro!todoroki x reader)

word count: 2.8k

cw/tags: swearing, mentions of needles, probably inaccurate fashion design vocabulary, strangers to lovers, no specified pronouns for reader, mentions of food/eating, mention of character death/disappearance, descriptions of wounds and blood, grief with happy ending

note: second to last chapter let's gooooo !!! in theory this could be considered the "last chapter," but don't you wanna know how the ball goes??? and maybe shoto and reader have their first kiss ;). thank you for all the support you've given this series!!

likes/reblogs/feedback are appreciated :)

New Voicemail Message [11:32 A.M]

“Hey! Just checking in; I just finished the whole flame side and I’m about to start the shading for the ice side. If you’re able, I’d love for you to come see it and maybe I can buy you lunch this time. No pressure, just let me know. Alright, bye!” 

New Voicemail Message [5:36 P.M] 

“Hi, hi, hi. I picked up Soba takeout for dinner if you’re free. I have both of our usuals, and I can drop them at your agency too if you’re busy. Oh, also, the lady behind the counter was so confused that it was me by myself; you should’ve seen her face. Anyway, just wanna make sure you’re doing okay. Bye!” 

New Voicemail Message [8:24 P.M] 

“Hey Shoto, it’s me, again. I’m sorry for spamming you with voicemails and shit. I just, honestly? I’m kinda worried, haha. I know it’s dumb. Like, I know you can handle yourself and everything, but part of me still wants to make sure you’re good, you know? Just, uh, let me know. If–when you’re home. I miss your stupid voice. Okay, bye.” 

New Voicemail Message [11:56 P.M] 

“Hey. I’m aware that I keep bothering you. If I did something to make you upset, I’m really sorry…I’m about to go to bed, but I’ll see you tomorrow? Obviously, you can’t see it, but uh, I’m sticking my thumb up, haha. Call me when you can, please.”

[2] Missed Calls: Big D(esigner)🧵👑💖 

New Messages: Big D(esigner)🧵👑💖 

12:00 A.M hey  12:00 A.M idk if you’re awake 12:00 A.M but if you are 12:01 A.M please check the news 

The incessant buzzing phone in your hand woke you from your position on the couch. You don’t remember falling asleep, but you assume you passed out after eating a late dinner, waiting for Shoto to call. His food was in the fridge, untouched, while yours was only half-eaten, plastic bowls and utensils messily scattered across your coffee table. The notifications at the top of your phone made your heart drop into your stomach, and you prayed that the thought hiding in the back of your mind wasn’t true. 

You stood as the TV clicked on, only for your legs to give out beneath you as the reporter detailed where he was last seen, what he was wearing, possible suspects, and the statement from his manager. There was no substance in the public statement, only reassurances that efforts are being made to find him. You shut down the TV after they got into the part of the statement that sounded like a fucking eulogy, talking about how he was a loyal friend, devoted hero, and embodiment of a good person. You didn’t need to be told that. You’d seen it firsthand for the past two weeks. Anger, confusion, worry, and grief came in waves, crashing against each other as you curled into yourself. Your eyes welled to alleviate the burn after staring at the screen, your forehead throbbing from the flashing reds and whites of the “BREAKING NEWS” title screen. Your lungs and throat felt empty, consciousness detached from the body. 

No sobs rang out in the darkness of your apartment that night, and it terrified you how silent you were. There was no crying, no convulsing, no thrown objects across the room to create dents in the walls. It was just…silence. You couldn’t tell if you’d slept or not, hours passing as you stared wide-eyed at the ceiling after dragging yourself back onto the couch. It was an effort to breathe, to force yourself to inhale and exhale like it was opening and closing your fists. 

As sunlight permeated through the lightly swinging shades, your phone alarm went off. You stared at it, the musical sound seeming to be coming from underwater. The notifications at the top of your phone once you finally turned it off were like reading in a dream, with letters blurring and rearranging until you didn’t know what the original message was. Hey, thinking about you, they said. We understand if you can’t make it in today, they promised. Hello, you were one of the people last seen with Todoroki Shoto. Our news outlet would like to interview you. Fingers gripping the phone so hard you wanted to snap it, you slammed it onto the coffee table. Flashes of white-hot rage took over your body, directed at no one in particular. You pulled a pillow into your chest, fighting back the impulse to scream, scream, scream until either your voice or your lungs give out. 

“Hey.” It was your roommate, and she held her cat in her arms like a newborn baby. Your empty eyes stared back at them. “I won’t ask if you’re doing okay because that’s a bullshit question. I just wanted to tell you that I’m here for you if you need anything. Just call me, yeah?” You barely nod your assent, and her gentle fingers brush away the tears that had broken through your resolve. “I know it’s hard, and I know you’re grieving,” she said as she rose from the crouch she took to be eye-level with you. She takes your hand, giving it a squeeze. “But I also know that you’re one of the strongest people I know. We both know it’s Friday, and we both know those assholes in the commission aren’t going to postpone the one event that brings them money.” She doesn’t say it, but you know what she means. You need to get up and finish your pieces. “Do your best, okay?” 

Just do your best. 

It’s what you repeated to yourself as you struggled from the couch to your bedroom, then to the bathroom, then finally out the door and through the gate in your office. Your other designer, the one who had told you to check the news, runs over from his station. Shaking your head decisively before he could speak, you brush past him with an understanding hand on his shoulder. Your aching throat didn’t have the voice to give one last round of encouragement to your staff, but they looked to you anyway as you took your spot at the front of the room. 

“Just do your best,” you said before turning to the embroidery thread shelves and picking out the most vibrant shades of blue and light purple you could find. The rest of the office worked with a fervor you’d never seen before, and you gave them a sad smile whenever they’d glance up to check on you. All the other heroes’ ball looks were finalized, ready to be handed off to their stylists who would do the final dressing and accessorizing. Seven mannequins lined up in front of a window: Cellophane’s intricately beaded suit, Momo’s sweeping velvet ball gown, Deku’s sleek three-piece, Red Riot’s fiery matching set, Pinky’s princess-like mermaid dress, and Bakugo’s sheer-paneled, explosive applique-covered denim jacket. 

Everyone’s looks were finished, except one. His tailored leather pants were complete as well as the simple white button-up, and the silver pocket chain rested around the headless neck of the mannequin. All that was left to do was finish the design covering the back of the coat, which you worked on tirelessly far past when your staff had left the building. It should have been a day of celebration with champagne, balloons, and cake to commemorate another successful Hero Ball; but, 11:30 and 5:00 passed with no trace of him, and you couldn’t find it in your mind to participate in festivities. Whispered goodbyes and “see you tomorrow” floated around you, and it took more energy than it should have to smile and nod. 

Time ran away from you again, and the coat was finished at midnight on the dot, embellished with small buckles, two rows of buttons, shoulder pads, pockets, and the stunning ice and flame embroidery on the back panel. It truly was the greatest piece you had imagined and created, your quirk allowing the thread to almost act like paint as you added subtle nuance to the two opposing cranes. The fire crane rose from the bottom corner of one of the front panels, forming a circle with the ice crane that descended from the shoulder pad of the opposite front panel. Draping the finished piece on the mannequin and attaching the pocket chain for good measure, you stepped back with your hands on your hips to admire your work. He was gonna love it, when he saw it. If he saw it, the pessimistic demon in your mind whispered. With a deep breath that you didn’t know you needed, you turned to pack your stuff and head home. 

And that’s when something large slammed into M’s office window. 

The thud startled you, the dull noise of something hitting the glass bouncing off the empty cavern of the room. Your fingers wrapped around a pair of scissors as you approached the half-open door, cautiously guiding it open and squinting at the distorted figure behind the dark glass. Your eyes widened when you realized the object was huge, the size of at least two very tall people. One hand tightly gripping the scissors, the other slowly slid into your pocket to call the police when you heard a voice call from the other side. 

“Needle! Needle…wait, what? Needle, uh, sprouting from…Needle sprouting from thumb? Jesus, Todoroki, who would ever say such a thing–” You threw the window open, sending it flying upward as you took in the people set precariously on the ledge. You recognized one as Deku, the number one hero who sometimes visited your office to implement support tech into his costume. His gloved hand grabbed the edge of the window, easing him and the person he was carrying into M’s office and collapsing onto the couch. Deku quickly stood, closing the window and scanning the surroundings for threats. Your hand unconsciously rose to brush the matted red hair from the other person’s face, and the oxygen left your lungs as you zeroed in on the scar barely visible around the blood splattered on the person’s left eye.

Shoto. 

His body was in tatters, with scrapes and cuts and punctures covering his body like some zombie Halloween. The white of his hair was covered in so much blood that his entire head was red. His suit had burnt off on his fire side, and his ice side was nearly blue from discoloration. Your body moved on its own when you took in the most significant wound, a large gash cutting diagonally across his abdomen. Mind empty except for the battered man on M’s couch, you shoved your hands into the fabric scraps box and brought them back to Deku, who pressed them against Shoto’s gash to stop the bleeding. Fingers pressed under his chin, you felt a faint heartbeat and could see his chest rising and falling in shallow breaths. He was dying, and you needed to do something to stop the blood loss. 

“I tried to get him to go to a hospital, but he said it wasn’t safe,” Deku said to you, eyes clouded with concern. “He was barely able to tell me your building’s address before he passed out. I trust his judgment, but I really need you to know that, if Todoroki doesn’t get stitches, he will die. Do you have some way of stitching this up?” The fabric in his hands was soaked a dark red and the realization of what Shoto wanted you to do hit you like a train. 

He wanted you to give him stitches. 

You’d never tried your quirk on any actual humans, only textiles. Your parents had suggested becoming a medic because of your quirk, but the idea of manipulating something to enter a human body was an idea that you couldn’t stomach. There were others with more efficient quirks who could do that, but none of them were with you now. An idea dawned on you, and you reminded yourself to applaud your planning skills later. 

“Deku?”

“Yeah?”

“I need the sutures from your toolbelt.” His eyes widened in understanding, and he frantically pushed aside objects in his belt to find the roll of medical-grade nylon you’d placed there as a part of upgrading his first-aid kit. “Sorry, I added…more items,” he muttered apologetically, finally handing you the unused spool and the box containing the sterilized needle. Like clockwork, you threaded the needle just as you had millions of times before. Averting your gaze as Shoto groaned in pain from Deku cleaning the wound with alcohol pads that you’d also put in his belt, your hand soon hovered over Shoto’s wound in preparation to close it. 

You squeezed your eyes shut, ignoring the image of the sewing machine and instead opting for a simple knot at select intervals. Fighting down the bile in your throat as the needle pinched Shoto’s skin together, you shakily guided the thread through the skin layers and tied it into a tight knot. You felt Deku’s eyes watch you in amazement as you worked, delicately patching Shoto back together as you had with his suit the first day he’d walked through your elevator doors. Slowly but steadily, you moved your hand and the thread across the wound, sewing it shut like you’d attached his trenchcoat panels. They were, by no means, medical-grade stitches, but you believed they got the job done as the color slowly returned to Shoto’s face. When you finished stitching the large wound, you helped Deku wrap the lower half of his chest and his arms with gauze. With more scraps of fabric, you gently scrubbed off the blood and dirt, combing through his tangled hair with wet fingers. 

“Thank you, Deku,” you said quietly to him as you threw used fabric scraps into a trash bag. “For bringing Shoto to me. I was really worried.” 

“Of course,” he replied, smiling warmly. “I only wish that I’d met Todoroki’s partner under different circumstances.”

“Partner? I mean, yeah, we’re business partners, but–”

“Oh, no. I’m so sorry, then. I, uh, meant romantically.” Your face began to burn from Deku’s assumption. “He just talked about you a lot, you know. How much he liked being around you, how you seemed to know exactly what he was thinking. He told me about all your soba dates and how he didn’t want them to be considered dates since he wants to take you somewhere much nicer when you’re done with all the ball stuff, but I still think they’re dates.” Holy shit, Deku was rambling. “I teased him about it since I don’t think he’s ever been in love before, but–” 

“Midoriya, I implore you to stop talking.” You both gasped, turning to look at a barely-conscious Shoto, who was trying to sit up from the couch. 

“Todoroki, you’re awake! Wait, no, no–you can’t sit up yet,” Deku stutters out as he rushes over to carefully push Shoto’s shoulders back down, moving the hair from his forehead as his head falls back against the armrest. You feel out of your body again as you kneel next to him, fingers brushing his cheek in relief. “I’ll uh, give you two some space,” Deku declares as he scrambles to pick up the trash bags and exit M’s office, leaving you alone with Shoto. 

His gentle eyes find yours. “Hey, pretty.”

“Hi, handsome,” you whisper, reciprocating the weak smile he gives you as he takes in your exhausted face. “What the hell were you thinking, coming here? You needed a hospital. It wasn’t safe risking your life to come here, Sho,” the shortened version of his name slips from your mouth before you could stop it, but the even softer look he gives you sends any regret or embarrassment running. “What would you have done if I wasn’t in the office?”

“I just knew you would be.” 

“That’s a terrible plan.” 

“But it worked out.”

“That it did.” You press your lips to his forehead and relish in the way his eyes shut in contentment. “I finished your coat.”

“You did?” 

“I did, but you can’t see it right now. If you lift a single finger off that couch, I’m going to reopen your stitches.” He lets out a pained laugh, wincing at the pain shooting across his chest. A thoughtful look crosses his face again, and you adore the way you could see him working things out in his mind. What those things are, you’d never know, but his pure intellect was enough to admire. 

“Do you still plan on attending the ball tomorrow?”

“Not if you’re still hurt.”

“In that case, I am no longer hurt.” He smirks at you, with an immature, boyish, attractive smile. “And I still haven’t…chosen a plus one.” 

You feel your heart cease racing in your chest. “Yeah? And who’s the lucky winner?” Your voice shakes slightly as you attempt to relieve the tension with a joke. 

He looks at you again with that expression that makes you want to kiss him. 

“It’s you. It’s always been you.” 

As you finally drift off to sleep slumped against the couch, your face close enough to his to feel him breathe, you know in your mind that it’d always been him, too.

[1] Missed Call - Midoriya Izuku

New Voicemail Message [2:04 A.M]

"Hi Yaomomo! Hope you're doing well. I need a favor..."

[fbfh]

Dave Lizewski relationship and intimacy hcs

wc: 1.1k

genre: smut

pairing: dave x afab reader

warnings: subby dave, minor dacryphilia/dave crying, dave is both a simp and a munch for you, lot lot lot of grinding, oral (reader recieving), quickies, metric fuckton of begging whining and whimpering

a/n: I need a dave right tf now.

tags: @yesv01 @magcon7280

As with all nsfw works, all characters are aged up to 18+

With that being said, let’s get the fuck into it 

Because Dave is such a chronic hornball

First and foremost

Dave loves making out with you

He will absolutely start humping your thigh within minutes

95% of the time he’s going to be a total subby wreck for you

So wield this power wisely 

You tell him to bark and he will

He is wrapped your little finger so fucking tight

He is the epitome of a whipped boyfriend

Someone replied to one of my Dave drabbles calling him a munch over and over and yeah

Yeah he’s a much

An irreversible simp

A stage 4 clinger if you will

For real though Dave thinks you’re the hottest fucking person to ever exist

And not only are you in his real life

But you know he exists???

And you actually want him??????? 

He doesn’t get it

Todd doesn’t either

Or Marty

Or anyone really 

But you do

You want him a lot

Once he has that boyfriend material scent on him, you’ll need to start fighting off all the girls who used to ignore him

Dave has no idea what’s going on

To him it just sounds like you two complimenting each other for a minute before you drag him away

(At some point you explain that those types of compliments are basically secret code and there is war waging between you, like when Ashley told you you “rock a lot of polka dots”. He doesn’t really get it but he’s still supportive of you.) 

But when you drag him away it’s usually into some closet or quiet little spot to makeout with him

And if I’m being honest, making out will turn into quickies every time you can possibly get away with it

Dave is really easy to condition

So now when girls come up and talk to either of you, you notice him start to get all squirmy and excited

And now the perfect opportunity has presented itself to you

Now you get to tease the living shit out of him

You get to make him squirm even more by running your hand up and down his arm or sitting on his lap and shifting around while he tries to suppress his pretty whimpers and whines and hide his raging boner

Dave is packing by the way

He’s a classic nerd boy with a huge dick who doesn’t know what to do with it

Luckily for him, you do know what to do with it 

He’s really fucking loud too

It’s totally unintentional, but GOD you will have him whining and moaning and babbling out incomprehensible words that just turns into begging 

And it sounds so nice to hear 

It really is one of your favorite sounds 

Dave is really really into overstimulation by the way

Like he’s spent so long dreaming about being exactly where he is right now

Slotted between your legs while you squeeze around his cock with a mouthful of tiddy 

That it almost doesn’t matter how many times both of you have cum

He’s going to want to keep going

Dave will go down on you for hours

He won’t stop until you finally manage to push his head away for the millionth time

All the other times you did he started begging you so sweetly 

“Please,” his voice cracks and desperate tears start to well up in the corners of his eyes, “please let me touch you, just a little more. I’ll be good, I promise…” 

And how can you say no to that?????

His eyes are glazed over and he’s so drunk on you that you don’t stand a chance 

He’s already made himself cum so many times just from eating you out like this

Like there’s literally a puddle of cum pooling in his jeans or on your sheets or wherever

Remember that drabble about Dave needing to get himself off while eating you out??????? 

It’s still completely true

He’ll jerk himself off or hump whatever he can while he makes out with your sticky sweet cunt

It’s so warm and wet, so soft and squishy that he can’t get enough

Yk that tiktok trend of people describing their s/os like rescue dogs?? like “oh this one is really nervous and has attachment issues are you sure you want them?” “yes I do” then cute footage of their s/o

And how some people kept describing their boyfriends as “are you sure you want this one?? he humps a lot”

Like this

OR that audio from that doggy daycare that was like “he’s overstimulated and he’s a real humper. he’s humping everything in sight.” 

…

that’s Dave

I hate to be the one to break this news to you but Dave will start grinding against you or humping your leg or palming himself if you so much as kiss him

sometimes he just looks at you and gets hard

like he gets hard and needy really fucking easily

which of course leads to more whimpering and whining and begging you to take care of him

which is just music to your fucking ears

he has literally never been more excited in his life than whenever you push him onto the nearest flat surface 

and you both discover very quickly how much he loves when you take control 

emphasis on the subby wreck for you thing

because he is

he’s a whiny desperate subby mess just for you

you were undoubtedly his first time 

and he got so fucking attached to you after that

like you’re so welded into his brain chemistry that he can’t be with anyone else

he’s mated to you for life

he’s completely and totally yours

whatever you want, he’ll do

you can walk him like a fuckin dog and he’ll love every minute of it

he just wants your attention

and maybe some hand stuff

on the rare occasions you have to be apart, he’ll douse his pillows in your perfume or body spray or whatever and spend the whole night cuddling it and smelling it

and quickly end up grinding against it

chances are if he can, he’ll call you so you can talk him through it

because even if he can’t be near you, he still needs you

he needs you so so badly all the time

and you’re always there

you’re always there to kiss him and pull his hair and tell him what to do

and hold his hand and patch him up after a fight and tell him to be careful

you’re so far beyond the complete package

he has no idea how in the world he got you

he just knows he never ever ever wants to be without you

[sjsmith56]

Drawing the Line - A Private Man, Chapter 11

Summary: A phone call sends Tracey to rescue her mother from her abusive marriage. John Walker talks to Bucky. An encounter with Val de Fontaine angers Tracey.

Length: 4.8 K

Characters: Bucky, Tracey, Rebecca, Janice Harris (Tracey’s mother), John Walker, Val de Fontaine.

Warnings: Description of physical and emotional abuse. Attempt at blackmail.

Author notes: Tracey may be calm and appear docile in her manner but she has a strong belief system in what is right and wrong. Val de Fontaine just messed with the wrong person. Divider by vecteezy.com.

<<Chapter 10

It had been a few weeks since all of Tracey's furniture was brought to the house.   After setting up Bucky's bedroom set downstairs again, they put her queen-sized set in their bedroom.  Everything from both households that they planned to sell was piled together in the basement for a yard sale to be held in a few days.  After that disturbing weekend where Tracey found out about her former neighbour her emotions had settled down especially after she took advantage of seeing a psychologist that her employee health plan provided.  Even though Tracey felt supported by Bucky and Rebecca she wanted to be sure that she dealt with everything in an objective environment.   There had still been several nights with nightmares where she woke up crying and Bucky held her until she felt safe enough to close her eyes again.

When the weekend of the yard sale came up it was a warm autumn day in early October.  The leaves had already started turning providing a picturesque scene for the people that came to view the furniture, knick-knacks, and other bits and pieces that all three felt they could do without.  Rebecca proved to be a shrewd negotiator, not allowing the buyers to take advantage of her advanced age to drive the price below what she felt was fair.  By the middle of Sunday afternoon they sold many of the bigger furniture pieces, including the vintage ones Bucky found in the basement earlier in the summer.  Their "rainy day" fund had a healthy start.  Tracey's cell phone rang and she answered it without looking at the call display.  As soon as the person on the other end spoke her face dropped and Bucky watched, concerned.

"When?" she asked the other person.  "Where is she?"  There was a pause.  "Okay, I'm on my way.  Don't let her go back to him."

She hung up and for a moment Bucky wondered if she would be alright.  Then she looked up at him and jerked her head for him to follow her to just inside the back door.

"That was my sister Wendy," she said.  "My Dad assaulted my Mom.  They're at the emergency department.  Didn't want to trouble me.  My sister phoned the police on my Dad but she's afraid he's going to come to the hospital to talk my Mom out of the charges."

"Do you want to bring her here?" he asked, his face serious.  "She's more than welcome."

"You don't mind?" asked Tracey.  "He doesn't know where I live now."

"Go get her," said Bucky.  "Bring her here.  She can stay here as long as she needs to."

Tracey put her hand on his arm then pulled his face down for a quick kiss.  "I love you," she said quickly, then she was gone.

By the time she returned several hours later they had shut the yard sale down, Bucky had carried the few remaining pieces back down into the basement and dinner was almost ready.  He wasn't sure what he was expecting when Tracey brought her mother in but when he saw the broken wrist that the older woman sported he was ready to seek out Tracey's father himself and give him a lesson to remember.  The two women stopped at her parent's house to pick up a suitcase of clothes for her mother while her father was still at the police station, having only enough time to grab what they could and stuff it inside.  Bucky took the suitcase from Tracey when she walked into the house leading the tired and timid looking woman.

"This is my mother, Janice Harris," she said to Bucky and Rebecca, before naming them in turn. 

"You can stay here as long as you need to," said Rebecca, kindly.  "Come sit, and Bucky will make us some tea.  Dinner is almost ready, and you must be famished."

Janice just nodded and looked down at her hands.  She was still a beautiful woman but years of abuse had taken its toll on her.  "I'm sorry to impose on you," she said, in a small voice.  "I'll only stay a few days, I'm sure."

Bucky took the suitcase downstairs and came up to see Tracey putting the kettle on.  He hugged her, holding her for a moment. 

"Your Dad did that to her?" he asked in a low voice.  "This isn't the first time, is it?"

Tracey shook her head.  "It's happened often and he always talked her into dropping the charges.  Not this time if I have anything to say about it.  One of these days he'll hurt her so bad she won't survive.  I'm sure of it."

"Well, we'll just have to make sure she doesn't go back to him," he replied.

Together they made the tea and took a couple of mugs out to Rebecca and Janice.  Grasping her mug tightly in her hand Janice smiled grimly at her daughter.

"I'm not going back to him, not this time," she stated.  "He accused me of sleeping with one of his friends, only because he came out to change a flat tire when your Dad wouldn't answer his phone."  Her mother's cell phone rang and she took it out of her purse, looked at it then gave it to Tracey.  "How do I block his number?"

Tracey did it and put the phone down then heard her own cell phone ring.  Looking ominously at Bucky she picked it up and saw by the call display that it was her Dad.  As she walked outdoors she answered it and listened to the tirade on the other end.  Bucky could hear the man's invective even though the phone wasn't on speaker.  Then Tracey waited until he exhausted himself before responding to her father.

"Dad, she's done with you.  I've blocked your number on her phone and I'm doing the same to my phone.  Tomorrow, I'm taking her to a lawyer.  We'll file a restraining order against you and begin divorce proceedings."  There was a whole new round of screaming and swearing at Tracey, which made her wince and Bucky put his hand out for the phone.

"Mr. Harris?  No, this isn't your mother's boyfriend.  But I'll tell you right now that she has my full support to keep her safe from you."  There was swearing at Bucky but he just smirked.  "Say what you want.  I've dealt with bullies like you my whole life.  Leave your wife and kids alone.  Your abuse days are over."

Bucky hung up and Tracey blocked her Dad's phone number.  With a sigh she wrapped her arms around Bucky's middle and held him tightly. 

"I'm sorry," she whispered.

"For what?" he asked.  "Having a messy family?  You've stood up for me.  I have no issues standing up for you, or your mother.  She can stay as long as she needs to.  Does she know about me?"

"Not the details.  Just that we met when I was Rebecca's nurse and we connected.  I'll tell her everything, if you want me to."

"No secrets," he replied.  "We'll tell her together."

They went inside to get supper on the table while Rebecca kept Janice occupied.  When the two older women came to the dining room table Janice smiled at the spread of food.

"Bucky, you made all of this?" she asked, as she sat.  "I've never known a man who did the cooking."

"I had to learn when I became my sister's caregiver," he said.  "It relaxes me."

"So, there is a big age difference between you and your sister," said Janice.  "Are you from a second marriage for your father?"

Tracey's face coloured but Bucky and Rebecca just smiled.  "Bucky is my older brother," said the older woman.  "I'm 94 and he's 107.  He ages slower because he's a super soldier."

"Plus I was put into cryogenic sleep often when I was the Winter Soldier," added Bucky.

Janice looked confused for a moment then her face went pale.  "You were him?  Oh my, I didn't know.  You're not still ...."

"Mom, of course he isn't," stated Tracey.  "Once he got away from them he spent two years regaining his memories then another two years being treated by the doctors in Wakanda so that no one could force him to be that again.  Not to mention being one of the blipped."

"I'm so sorry," said Janice.  "I remember when it came on the news but you're so calm and nice.  I guess I just never stopped to think what you must have been through."

"I still have PTSD and some anxiety over it," replied Bucky.  "But, looking after Rebecca has been good for both of us.  I have a growing circle of friends who help me keep on an even keel, and now that I'm in love with Tracey I look forward to living a normal life."

"You love my daughter?" asked Janice, surprised to hear such a frank admission.  "By normal life do you mean marriage and a family?"

This time Bucky's face coloured.  "We've talked a little about it.  It's what I wanted when I was a young man in the 1940s.  I work as a supervisor at the docks and do alright, enough to support a family."

He put some food onto his fork and ate it, not wanting to say anything more in case he said too much. 

"Does Bucky make you happy?" Janice looked intently at her daughter.  "Does he treat you right?"

With a loving smile, Tracey put her hand on Bucky's arm.  "He makes me very happy, and I feel very loved and supported."

"Well, if he does that, and is a good cook, then you keep him," said Janice, with a huge smile.  "He's a much nicer man than Geoff ever was.  But if you ever hurt my daughter, you'll have me to deal with, super soldier or not.  I'm not the pushover that Marty thinks he married anymore."

Once she voiced that Bucky knew it would be okay between them.  Dinner ended up being very enjoyable as she felt relaxed enough to tell some good stories about Tracey as a girl while Rebecca shared some of him as a young man.  When bedtime came Janice paused at the basement stairs and looked emotionally at Bucky and Rebecca.

"Thank you for taking me in," she said, as Tracey took her hands.  "I was afraid to reach out to any of my kids because I've always let Marty talk me into taking him back.  Not anymore.  I've had enough of being hurt by him."

"You know that I can deal with him if it comes to that," answered Bucky, firmly.  "Stay as long as you need to get back on your feet."

After getting Rebecca to bed Bucky and Tracey laid in their bed in the dark.  With her head laying on his shoulder and her hand on his chest Bucky gently stroked Tracey's arm before placing his hand on hers. 

"You okay?" he asked.  "That must have been hard seeing your mother with a broken wrist."

"It wasn't the first time he injured her.  It was the first time she ever admitted he hurt her.  Before she would always blame her own clumsiness.  Gives me hope that she means it this time."

"Are you taking tomorrow off to get her settled with a lawyer?"

"Yeah, I called Foggy from the hospital and he gave me the name of a good divorce lawyer," she replied. 

"If you need me just call," he said.  "I'm there for both of you. I won't let your Dad touch either of you."

Lifting her head Tracey moved closer to kiss him before lowering her head back down to his chest, taking comfort in the warmth of his skin.  Part of her still didn't believe how secure this man made her feel with just a touch or a soft word.  Even with all that was still happening with him he still managed to make her feel like she was the most important thing in his life, next to Rebecca, which made her smile.  James Buchanan Barnes was an incredible man, and he was hers.

On the following day Bucky was up early as always, getting coffee ready for everyone, and reading the newspaper quickly while he ate his breakfast.  Janice got up, hearing him in the kitchen and he put a cup of the hot liquid in front of her, which almost made her cry because it was something her husband never did.  Bucky touched her arm in support.

"I took a look on my tablet after I got up about things you should do after leaving an abusive relationship," he said gently.  "Seeing a lawyer is the first thing but they also said to set up a new bank account for yourself, so that you can separate your finances.  You can ask the police to escort you to the house to get the rest of your possessions safely but if they can't I can go with you.  I won't let your husband hurt you."

"Thank you, I appreciate the offer," she said, smiling slightly.  "I'm going through with a divorce this time."  She didn't say anything for a moment then took a sip of her coffee before speaking.  "How is it that with all you've been through, the violence you've been part of, that you seem to be a very kind man?"

"I do have a violent past," he admitted, "but other than going to war in 1943, and then fighting against Thanos or the Flag Smashers, none of it was my choice.  It was forced on me against my will.  I was angry about it once I got away from HYDRA although I found peace in Wakanda, for a time.  When I learned Rebecca was still alive I knew that if I wanted to be part of her life that I had to let the anger go.  She didn't need an angry man to be there for her.  She needed her big brother, who always looked out for her when she was younger.  Tracey needs a kind man, and I think you do as well.  I feel much better as a kind man than I ever did as an angry one."

Janice smiled at him again, accepting his words.  Excusing himself to get ready for work Bucky returned to the bedroom and got dressed, waking Tracey up to kiss her goodbye for the day.  When he came out Janice was making herself some breakfast.  Bucky unlocked the front door, asking Janice to leave it unlocked for Amina, explaining she was his sister's personal care aide and due to arrive any moment.  He introduced the two women when she did arrive then left for the docks, feeling the coolness of the early October morning air. 

As he easily ran the couple of miles he waved at several people who were regularly out that early in the morning.  Checking in at the security checkpoint gate at the docks he made small talk with the guard on duty before clocking in at the office and getting ready for the quick meeting with the other supervisors.  Once the incoming ships had been assigned to the different crews he went over the manifest of the cargo ship he was responsible for and gathered his crew together, going over with the crane operator where they would start, then assigning who was on forklift, who was on safety protocols, etc.  The morning went quickly and when they took their lunch break he clocked out and headed out the gate, surprised to see John Walker there, seemingly waiting for him.

"I'm on my lunch break," said Bucky.  "You can join me but I only have so long to eat."

"Yeah, sure," said Walker, falling into step beside him.  "Just wanted to touch base with you again."  They quickly got a table in the longshoremen's bar where Bucky ordered his usual club house sandwich with fries.  John ordered the same.  "I think they're going to try something with you very soon.  Make sure you don't engage physically with them.  It seems like Ross is trying to make you angry and lose your cool so that he can make a case to the President that you shouldn't have been pardoned."

"You've got to be kidding me," replied Bucky, shaking his head in disgust.  "Do you know if they have anything to do with my POW back pay claim being challenged?"

Walker coloured a little.  "Seriously?  Someone's objected to that?  You're a vet who was held prisoner for what, 70 years?"  His lip curled.  "Just as an Afghanistan vet that disgusts me but I wouldn't be surprised.  Listen, I did some snooping around on my own.  You know that Ross was in charge of the super soldier program when Bruce Banner was part of the research?  How much you want to bet he knew about you during that time?  That was at least 10 years before you broke away from HYDRA."  He reached inside a pocket and took out a slip of paper, sliding it across to Bucky.  "That's the name of a guy who was there, when Banner first became the Hulk and Ross started hunting him.  The guy's been out for a while but he might have some information that can put Ross into a bad light.  You didn't hear it from me."

Their food arrived and both men dug into their meals with gusto.  Bucky paid for both their meals, a gesture that wasn't lost on Walker.  He walked Bucky back to the security gate and stood awkwardly as if he had something more to say.

"Your lawyer, do you think he could help me get out of my contract?" he asked.  "I wasn't in a good place when I signed it and I've done some barely legal things for Val.  Combined with what they're trying to force you to do I'm not sure I want to be associated with her anymore."

"I'll talk to him," promised Bucky.  "Thanks for the update and I'll keep my eyes and ears open.  You take care, John."

As soon as Bucky was inside the gate he pulled out his cell phone and relayed John's request to Foggy, then gave him the name and phone number of the man who had worked under Ross in the early 2000s.  It was worth a shot.  He didn't think anything of it for the rest of the day as work took up his attention.

While Bucky worked Tracey called the lawyer that Foggy recommended, setting up an appointment for that afternoon.  Like Bucky she had done some research on everything her mother needed to do to divest herself of her husband's influence and they set up a bank account at another bank, using money she took out of the joint account she shared with her husband, which fortunately was still active.  The divorce lawyer was very informative and also helped file the paperwork for a protection order against Marty Harris.  They would have to appear before a judge the following morning for it to be granted.  At that point a police officer would be assigned to accompany Janice to her home to pick up any remaining personal property.  After leaving the lawyer's office the two women stood on the sidewalk.  Janice looked at her daughter and impulsively hugged her.

"Thank you for helping me with this," she said.  "I feel good about everything, like it's finally sunny out, you know?"

"I know, Mom," replied Tracey.  "Let's get a coffee and a muffin.  We didn't have lunch and I'm a bit hungry."

She took her to the coffee place where she had first met up with Bucky.  That had been the start of the best thing in her life and part of her thought they could duplicate it for her mother.  As they sat and sipped their drinks Tracey glanced outside and noticed a man leaning against a wall across the street, smoking a cigarette, looking at her and her mother every so often.  It bothered her, and set off warning bells in her head.  She was going to phone Bucky, but something stopped her and instead she looked at her mother. 

"There's a guy out on the street that I have to talk to," she said.  "I'll be right back but if he does anything phone Bucky."

She gave her mother Bucky's phone number then stepped out the café and walked right up to the smoker.  He watched her without reaction until she stood right in front of him.

"Why are you following me?" she asked.

"I'm not," he answered, blowing out some cigarette smoke.

Tracey looked down at the sidewalk noticing the butt on the ground that he had discarded looked like the butts that had been left on the sidewalk near the house.

"You've been watching the house," she said.  "I recognize the cigarette butt as it's a different brand, not an American one.  So, I'm going to ask you again why you're following me."

He smirked then looked towards a dark SUV with tinted windows that was parked nearby as if he needed instructions.  After taking one more drag off of his cigarette he butted it out and walked away from her getting into the SUV which drove away.  It perplexed her but she returned to the café. 

"What was that about?" asked her mother.

"Someone wants Bucky to be a killer again," replied Tracey.  "They've been making life difficult for him, delaying his application for back pay while he was a POW, trying to arrest him for breaking the Sokovia Accords, even though he hasn't signed them.  That guy I just spoke to has been watching the house.  He smokes a specific brand of cigarettes and leaves the butts on the sidewalk."

"You're not being a little paranoid?"

"No, there's something going on and the fact they would follow you and me makes me wonder how far they would go," replied Tracy. 

After finishing up at the café they returned back to the house and together they phoned the different numbers needed to get Janice's financial obligations transferred to the new bank account.  Tracey phoned her supervisor and requested the following day off to accompany her mother to the court for her protection order hearing.  She was told to take as much time as she needed to help her mother transition.  Since she was already home Tracey decided to do a grocery run and went through the fridge and pantry, making a list of what they needed. 

"Oh, Miss Tracey, could you pick up some coriander, green cumin and black cumin?" asked Amina.  "If you pay for it separately I will pay you for it.  I need it for the weekend but I'm not sure I'll have time to pick it up before we take Kafeel to indoor soccer practice."

"Sure, coriander, green cumin, and black cumin," repeated Tracey.  

Leaving her mother, Rebecca, and Amina behind Tracey drove to the supermarket, pulled out a cart and went to the spices section first, not wanting to forget them.  Then she began her route through the store, picking out items and checking them off the shopping list on her phone.  As she was in the produce section, checking the tomatoes another woman, dark haired and well dressed, stopped her cart nearby and leaned in close to Tracey.

"These look good today," said the other woman, touching one of the tomatoes.

Tracey glanced at her and moved over politely, allowing the woman better access. 

"It must be hard to keep enough food on the table to feed a super soldier," said the woman, in a friendly manner.  "Barnes needs what, 10,000 calories per day?  That's a lot of money to feed one man."  Tracey backed away, looking at the woman with suspicion.  The other woman glanced at her, smiling.  "Just stating a fact, Miss Harris."

"Who are you?" asked Tracey, looking around for what she assumed would be the smoking man.  "Why are you doing this?"

"What, picking out tomatoes?" laughed the dark haired woman.  "I still need to eat."  She faced Tracey and offered her hand which was not accepted. She tilted her head as she looked critically at Tracey.  "Hmm, that's not really a good way to greet someone who only has your best interests at heart."

"You're Val de Fontaine," said Tracey, with a sudden realization.  "I doubt very much you have anyone's best interest in mind, other than your own."

"I just want Bucky to be in a position to support his family in a manner that makes everyone happy," said Val, continuing to examine the tomatoes.  "He has a very specific skill set that we need and we're willing to compensate him in a way that he deserves."

"He's not a killer," stated Tracey.  "He's left that behind.  If you knew him, really knew him, you would accept that and leave him alone."

Val smiled smugly.  "If that's what he tells himself to sleep through the night ...."  She turned again and faced Tracey.  "You know what he did before he found you, right?  What do you think the public would say if they knew Bucky Barnes was picking up random men for sex?"

"Who the hell do you think you are?" asked Tracey with a raised voice, that caused other people nearby to raise their heads at look at the two women.  "What gives you the right to spy on people and interfere with their lives?  I would slap you but I'm not going to lower myself to your level."

A flash of anger crossed Val's face then she smiled a fake smile at another customer who saw the interaction.  Out of the corner of her eye Tracey could see the man who had been smoking cigarettes appear but Val waved him back and looked at Tracey.

"Alright, I know whose side you're on," she stated with barely disguised hostility.  "Tell Bucky the gloves come off.  He either works for us or he's ruined, along with his sister and you."  Val turned to leave then turned back for one last word.  "It would be a pity if your father found out where your mother was staying."

Tracey watched the woman leave, followed by the smoking man.  As she did a grounding exercise to calm herself she looked at the phone in her hand.  Matt Murdock had suggested making a shortcut to the Voice Memo function in case they were approached by anyone.  Turning the recording off she started it again, listening to what Val said.  Then she stopped it and phoned Matt, telling him what just happened.

"Are you alright?" he asked.  "That was a big thing to drop on you."

"I already knew," replied Tracey.  "The way she threatened to use it ...."  She took a tortured breath.  "It would destroy Bucky.  You know how private he is."

She could hear Matt take a deep breath.  "Do you want me to tell him?  I guess John Walker warned him at lunch today that they were going to turn up the heat."

"No, I'll pick him up from work and replay it for him," said Tracey.  "Matt, how do people like her get into positions of power?"

"I wish I had an answer that made sense," replied the lawyer.  "Send me the voice file and I'll add it to the documentation of the harassment.  As for her threat to tell your father where your mother is ... I think I can prevent that from happening.  Leave it with me.  Tracey, he's worth it, you know that, right?"

She smiled as she stood in the middle of the produce department.  "I do know it," she said emphatically.  "He's the best man I ever met and I'll be damned if I'm going to let that smug bitch get her way with him."

Matt laughed and told her she was a formidable adversary before hanging up.  Quickly, Tracey finished grocery shopping and loaded the trunk.  She had enough time to go pick up Bucky so she texted Rebecca and told her she was doing just that.  If Val was taking the gloves off so was she because Bucky was worth it.  In 1945 someone decided he wasn't a person or an individual any more, turning him into a weapon, their tool for death and destruction.  Now, in 2024 she wasn't going to allow anyone to turn him back into a weapon, not on her watch.  She had fought for health care clients before, now she was willing to fight for the man she loved, the man she wanted to be father to her children, the man she would grow old with.  Val de Fontaine just threatened the wrong person.

Chapter 12>>

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[shalscumbunny]

Safe place | Yandere Shalnark returning home after the death of his friends

Summary: Shalnark is tired after everything that happened in Yorkshin and just wants to be in your arms

Pairing: Shalnark X GN.Reader

Warnings: Kidnapped reader, mention of canonical character death in HxH (Possible spoiler), Slight change in the chronology and original story in HxH

Author’s note: I always mention it in all my writings in English, but better safe than sorry, English is not my native language so it is very likely to find many mistakes and also that I know practically nothing about writing “X character and Y / n”

Sites: AO3

It was late at night when you were resting, out of nowhere you got up, you took it as a bad omen instantly but you tried not to think about it, you just went to the bathroom and got a glass of water from the kitchen before going back to bed.

Shalnark had been gone for a week, you hated to admit it, but you even missed him, maybe because you hadn't spoken to a human being in a week, but you enjoyed that he wasn't harassing you as usual.

Just as you were beginning to fall asleep again, the bedroom door opened, however, it took at least a minute until footsteps were heard inside the room, shortly after you felt Shalnark's weight on the bed, his body for the first time shook. felt cold.

You were turning your back on him, you couldn't see him, but there was another type of atmosphere, one that you had never experienced with him, however, you didn't say anything, until you felt how his arms were around your waist and you were attached to him, supporting his chin in the crook of your neck.

"Shalnark, I'm not in the mood right now" You said with an annoyed tone, trying to get out of his arms.

"If you want, we can fight in the morning, please, not now" Shalnark said, hugging you tighter.

You froze at the moment you heard him, in the first place, you didn't remember that Shalnark had ever said "please" to you in a genuine way, much less had you heard that tone of voice, was it... Sadness?

"Shalnark?" You called him worried

He didn't answer, he was quiet, you just felt his breath on your neck, it was slow and tired in a certain way.

"Shalnark" You called him again

Again silence to your call.

Shalnark left your neck and hid in your nape, you felt strange, you had never experienced this with him.

You didn't want to turn around, it wasn't that Shalnark was scaring you right now, but it was something new and you didn't know how to react.

"Y/n" Shalnark called to you in a whisper

Before you could answer, you felt some moisture begin to form on the back of your neck, perhaps... Is he crying?

"Y/n?" He called you again

"I'm here, what happened?" You asked in an expressionless tone.

"Look at me, please"

"Since when do you ask me for things?" You asked with the same tone of voice

"Don't make me beg" He told you, hugging you tighter

You were silent, you're upset, but not with him this time, you're upset with you, it disgusted you to feel sorry for him, you felt sorry for someone despicable like Shalnark, you felt sorry for the man who kidnapped you, he took away your freedom, your dignity and several other things without any kind of contemplation.

"You've never begged me for anything, what's wrong with you?"

"I'm tired, please..."

You turned annoyed when you heard it, but you didn't look at it, you just started screaming.

"Tired of? You're not like that, you don't ask for things, you don't feel empathy for anyone, you're a monster that forces me to be with him, why would I have to do you some kind of favor!?"

You let out all your annoyance by saying that, you didn't even know where so much anger came from, and it was the first time you told him what you thought out loud.

You opened your eyes to see him, expecting some kind of typical reaction from him, but... He was still, motionless, just looking at you in silence with blurred eyes and an expression of sadness.

You were stunned to see him, the one who was next to you on the bed wasn't Shalnark, it couldn't be him.

"You finished?" He asked you in a soft tone.

You didn't answer him, your head was processing Shalnark's state and while it was happening he pulled you, hugging your chest and wrapping his arms around your waist.

"You always make everything difficult, how annoying you are" He blurted out, resting his ear on your chest.

You looked at him surprised, you didn't understand what was happening, you didn't touch him, you just stayed there.

"What happened?" You dared to ask him

"They are no longer..." Shalnark answered with a tired voice.

"Who?"

"Uvo and Paku"

You remembered them, once they came to see Shalnark, but you ignored them, from what he told you, they were friends for years, members of the Gen'ei Ryodan too.

But you didn't ask him more, you understood what he meant, but you didn't touch him, you just looked at him in silence, you wanted to enjoy seeing him sad, but, you couldn't.

"You will not say anything?" Shalnark asked, hugging your waist.

"I have nothing to say to you"

"Do you enjoy seeing me like this?"

"No, I'm not like you, I don't delight in other people's pain"

Shalnark was silent, he just continued hugging you, he wanted to calm down, even if you didn't comfort him, your mere presence managed to clear his mind of the pain of losing his friends, after all, even against your will, for him you were his girlfriend , your duty was to be there.

When he listen your heart he felt calm, now he beat calmly, his body relaxed when he felt your warmth and your smell, he loved you so much no matter what.

He was like a child when it came to you, you were his safe place, even if you hated and despised him, he loved you, he loved your mere existence near him.

For you, he was also like a child too, omitting the long list of crimes, many times, he just wanted your attention, he loved being on top of you, kissing you, hugging you and keeping you only for him, you knew you were precious to him.

But now, he was not the capricious and selfish child that always hovered around you, now he was a child in search of comfort.

You just sighed before wrapping your arms around him, pulling him to your chest.

"I'm here" you said with a calming tone.

You weren't like him, that's why you do that, you weren't a monster. You felt sorry, just that.

Shalnark only held you closer, relaxed in your arms, he loved you, he loved you so much now, it didn't matter if your comfort was a lie, he loved you so much more now, he was sure now that he would never let you go from his side.

You were born for him, you existed to belong to him, your body, your soul, your life, all of that was his and as long as he lived he wouldn't let anyone else have you.

"Shalnark?" You called him

He didn't answer you, when you saw him, he was fast asleep, with a smile on his lips and the trace of a couple of tears in his eyes. He was clinging to you, like a child to his stuffed animal and like so many times, you knew he wouldn't let you go until he woke up.

You sighed before calmly caressing his hair and resting your head on his, falling asleep little by little, although, for the first time, you didn't feel like you were sleeping with your enemy, you felt like you were sleeping with someone you wanted to take care of, no matter how inexplicable it was, at least seeing him vulnerable made you hate him a little less.

Thank you so much for reading my shit 🖤

[dervaaas]

You broke up, but you still attend his matches

Character: Rin Itoshi

wn: Hint at moments before blue lock, match with U-20, The guy's name is not mentioned! F!Reader!

Part 2 with Rin Itoshi!

the following: Hyoma Chigiri, Yo Hiori, Meguru Bachira, Shoei Baro

p.s And three years have not passed. It was so fucked up that I didn't want to release it. I've rewritten it so many times, but nothing good came out.. I used a translator, so I'm sorry if you don't understand anything at all! I haven't studied English since March, so I couldn't translate even one sentence on my own.. I hope I'll be back soon. I also need to change a lot of information about requests.

Broke up simply because there was not what can be called a relationship. It was more like hanging out when they were still friends, that's all. We broke up behind the scenes, but also because all the "romance" was gone. The only thing the girls said about them was that she was dating a football player and it was unrealistically cool. But is that so? Once upon a time, Rin was really more open towards her, even when they were just acquaintances. But now, when the breakup has already happened in words and it's really worth going your own ways and realizing that nothing will work out together... It hurts to give up at least a simple friendship.

But it could have been said more mildly? Sae's arrival was like oil on fire. Rin, of course, had been thinking about it for a long time, but he wasn't going to say it that way either. This is quite difficult to accept, especially if it was a heart-to-heart conversation, but just a splash of emotions. Y/N was there, for the simple reason that it was routine to watch him train on the field and no matter what the weather, he has to play a certain time. But Sae... Not only did Rin suffer morally, but she also heard unwanted words in her address. Not with everything she remembered Sae, but what can she say to him, she can't object because of the fear of looking into those eyes at all. Will support be important? So she thought it would be better to support him, but everything turned out to be complete bullshit:

— Rin, I want to help you, don't they do that in a relationship?

"Like I'm interested in all this shit, and how long are you going to call it a relationship?" The way you run after me like a dog on a leash, do you call this a relationship?! — Y/N am a little shocked by such aggression, which was not peculiar to Rin at all. But when the words reach her, she turns around and leaves his room. Heading to the kitchen from which she will be able to go out into the corridor and finally leave, at least somewhere just to cope with the tears that are accumulating. That's just where his parents are sitting now and... Sae.

— Y/N, do you want to have dinner with us? Rin needs to be called, too. I just wanted to do it myself. — The woman smiled when she saw the girl.

— No, thanks. I'm in a hurry, — Y/N looks at her apologetically, to show that she really wants to cry now, she can't, just because she makes a woman worry.

"Is something wrong?" — Sae with a note of interest, looks over his shoulder at the girl getting dressed. Maybe he doesn't remember much about her character, but in his memory if she was in a hurry, but not like that.

—None of your damn business," she says through gritted teeth. Leaving their house leaving them in a complete misunderstanding of what is happening. The door doesn't close as roughly as I would like, but I couldn't get angry either. It's not their business to show their character, he needed to show it.

If the snow was beautiful, now it is not as pleasant as before. The city is enveloped by snowfall in large, cold flakes. It sticks to my cheeks and burns, either from the snow, or from freezing tears. There is no point in shouting, people will not understand this, and in principle everything has been leading to this for a long time.. But who refuses to kick something next to him and throw a phrase that he will no longer meet with athletes.

It's probably been two years, more or less, just an approximate figure. Everything goes on as usual, snow begins to envelop the cities again. So are stadiums. The recent news spread quickly and this news could not get around her boyfriend, who was still a football fan. As strange as it may be, but she is still interested in people who have connected their lives with football. Actually to the news: the guy Y/N bought tickets to VIP places and a meeting with one of the players of their choice. Quite a decent amount. And quirks have their rich.

— Amazing composition, right? — the guy smiles at the girl when he saw the field and recognized all the players.

— I didn't think I'd see how Sae and Rin are playing against each other.

— You mean Itoshi? Although you know it's not uncommon in sports," he looks into the girl's eyes with interest.

"That's not the point.. The match will be tense, at least they will bite each other's throats. — the girl bit her tongue when she realized that this was exactly what would happen.

— Let's go, our business is just to watch, — the guy smiles at her, and takes her by the hand, leads her out of the place in the stands.

And now the match is over. Victory Blue Lock with a margin of one goal. And it wasn't Rin who scored it.

The same meeting. The young man Y/N really wanted to meet many, but the problem was that with only one player. They chose from the most beloved ones by counting.. Well, Rin so Rin, ten minutes to talk, and the guy decided to share with Y/N five minutes. To be honest and have something to brag about in front of other people.

After a short break, while some were being interviewed, Rin was called to a separate room to talk to VIP clients. Y/N and her boyfriend were also standing outside the doors of this room, waiting to be let in. We decided that Y/N goes first, there is no reason, just "ladies first", that's all. And so she walks into the room and the first thing she hears is:

—  And why did you come?

— Honestly, I was dragged by force, I didn't know that you were going to play. And besides, I didn't choose it," Y/N shrugged her shoulders.

— If I knew, wouldn't go? Rin raised an eyebrow, with the same deadpan look she remembered all along.

— Well, yes.. Perhaps — the girl nods slightly at her words. — We don't have much time to talk, if that's all I'll call him.

— I wanted to apologize, — he says. Y/N blinks at his words, not really understanding what he just said. Apologizing? A joke or something.

— Has Rin Itoshi gone crazy?! — Y/N jumps away from him in horror. He had no problems with apologies before his arrival Sae, but to hear from him now, when he can only be compared to ice, is shocking.

— Five minutes are up, call your boyfriend. Rin nods towards the door.

— I didn't say he was my boyfriend.

"I saw everything," Rin rolls his eyes at her words. — If he wasn't your boyfriend, you wouldn't behave like this. Even with time, your manner has remained. And don't make an indifferent monster out of me, I can see it in your eyes.

The girl mumbles only "okay" and goes out the door. After her, her boyfriend comes in, she does not hear what they are talking about, but this gives her a reason to think about his words. What is this manner? Did Rin really regret his actions? Although what difference does it make, time has passed, his words have not gone anywhere and sometimes torment, even if he knows perfectly well that he has not been washed away in this for a long time.

— Rin, I remember your game much more today. It was unexpected that you would be playing against your brother. — The guy holds out his hand Itoshi, which he looks at with skepticism and is not even going to shake it with him. A small wave of awkwardness has come over the guy and he chuckles a little.

— Thank you?

— Okay, Y/N said that you once met. Why are you doing this to her? — His gaze darkens, then the former awkwardness has disappeared, instead there is a tension in the room, even more hostile.

— And what, are you going to tell me off? — Rin takes the guy by the collar and presses him against the wall and says through his teeth: — Do you think it was easy for me? I already know very well what kind of person I've lost.

— If I regretted it, I would have corrected the mistake long ago, right?

— Fixed it? Yes, even if so, there is from one relationship, only the name. Do you think she would forgive me for the words I said to her? She doesn't forgive such words, and she certainly doesn't forgive me. Rin squeezed his collar even harder. Outside the door, they heard knocking on the door and talking about the end of time. Itoshi lets the guy go. — Just try to do as I do..

— I'm definitely not going to do it, — the guy spat words and left the room.

— What were they talking about?

— Yes, he praised the game.

"And how did he receive her?" — Y/N took the guy by the hand, and together they walked down the corridor to the large hall, where the press was still standing.

— That's enough.. In cold blood.

— Oh, well, that's his style, — the guy smiles at her words. — Sae is still here, surprisingly, can he do a dirty trick?

— What are you going to do? — the guy darted a wary glance at her, as if he hadn't found her at his side. And now she is already standing behind Sae Itoshi is trying to reach him.

— Hey, Sae! It 's better Sae! Sae, the devil picked you up! — Y/N still managed to attract the senior Itoshi, when he turns to her, he is slightly surprised that she is here, and then his face contorts when she shows him two middle fingers while smiling. Oh, she's definitely the cover star of sports magazines and newspapers.