#what I wouldn’t give for another shot at Secret Avengers

[age-of-moonknight]

“A Systemic Approach (Part One),” Avengers Unlimited (Vol. 1/2022), Infinity Comic, #63.

Writer: Mat Groom; Penciler and Inker: Caio Majado; Colorist: Pete Pantazis; Letterer: Joe Sabino

[scoonsalicious]

Unreadable

Pairing: Bucky x Avenger!Fem!Reader

Summary: Bucky catches you doing something on your phone that you really, really wish he hadn't, and your biggest secret puts your relationship at risk.

Warnings: Language, adult themes, mentions of sex, mentions of masturbation.

Word Count: 2.1k

A/N: Why write Hunted when I can write more Bucket? I swear to God, these two write themselves.

I've missed them. I've missed writing. I miss you, besties! New job is kicking my ass mentally, but the money is good so I try not to complain too much. Just doesn't leave a lot of bandwidth left for writing, which sucks, but I'm doing my best. I've not forgotten you, I swear!

Unwanted's now up at Ao3 and I'm slowly adding all the Unoshots when I have the time; come find me @ PocketStark!

If you ever feel so inclined to support my work, hop on over to buy me a coffee; it's much appreciated! <3

The heat in your cheeks was almost unbearable as you stared at your phone, rubbing your thighs together in a desperate attempt to alleviate the burning at your core. You couldn’t believe you were getting so worked up over some text, but there was no denying the way the words turned you on, getting you all hot and bothered. You absentmindedly traced a hand across your collarbone and down between your breasts, hitching in a breath as your cool fingertips snaked across the heated skin of your stomach.

You imagined they were a different set of fingers, entirely, as you slid them beneath the waistband of your shorts while you read, biting your lip as you ghosted over your plump mound and inched ever closer to the warm epicenter of your need…

“Hey, Sweets.” 

Shit. You threw your phone down on the coffee table and shot up from where you were lying on the living room couch, pulling your hand almost comically from your pants. The absolute last thing you wanted was for Bucky to see what you had just been doing. You didn’t want to imagine how angry he would be at you if he found out you were… well…

“Baby!” you exclaimed, trying to mask the shaking in your voice as you stood up on tiptoe to give him an over-eager kiss. “What are you doing here?!”

“Last I checked, this was where I lived,” he said, giving you a curious look. “Should I not be here?”

“What? No! It’s just… I mean… I didn’t expect you home so soon. Thought you’d be at least another hour with Sam.”

Bucky rested his hands on your hips. “He got called out on a mission,” he told you. His eyes narrowed when he took in the sight of you. “Doll,” he said slowly, “everything alright?”

“Of course!” you said, too quickly and too cheerfully to be fully convincing. “Why wouldn’t it be?”

“You’re looking a little… flustered,” he said warily. 

“I am?” Your voice came out in a guilty squeak, and you could mentally kick yourself for your inability to keep your shit together in the moment. “Can’t imagine why,” you added with an anxious laugh as you stepped awkwardly away from him.

Bucky studied you as you moved away from him, and you knew– you just knew– he was picking up on the evidence of your heightened state of arousal; the way your pupils were slightly blown, the increased rhythm of your heart, the flush of your face, the light sheen of perspiration that coated your skin. He flared his nostrils and inhaled. Fuck. He could smell you. He tilted his head, his face displaying his evident confusion.

“What are you up to, pretty girl?” he asked. 

“Nothing!” Again, your answer came too quickly, the sound of your voice too high and too loud against your own ears, and you shoved your offending hand deep into the pocket of your shorts. Not that it mattered–not anymore. You’d been discovered, and he was going to find out the truth. You just hoped he didn’t hate you once he did. Though, you had to admit, you wouldn’t blame him.

“Pocket,” he grumbled, his voice a low warning. “What’s going on?”

Subconsciously, your eyes darted to your phone, checking quickly to ensure the screen was still off, leaving no evidence for Bucky’s gaze as to what you’d just been engaging in. You’d hoped to complete the action unnoticed, but Bucky was nothing if not observant, and he clocked your movements and intentions just as clearly as if you’d broadcasted them live on TV. 

With a superhuman speed that always surprised you, he bent down and snatched your phone from the coffee table, holding it just out of reach as you stretched your arms up to make a grab for it.

“That’s not funny!” you said, your voice now betraying a hint of desperation. “Gimme my phone, Barnes!”

Bucky held the device aloft above his head and looked down at you, his expression a strange combination of playful, but guarded. “What have you been looking at, doll?” he asked. 

He grunted when you climbed up onto the couch cushion in an attempt to get some extra height and leaned into him to reach for the phone. “Nothing!” you protested weakly. “I just… I just want it back!”

Bucky took a step back, putting some distance between you so you could no longer use your position on the couch to your advantage. “Come on, sweets– tell me what you’ve been looking at that’s got you all worked up.”

“Bucky,” you said, your voice losing any trace of humor. “Bucky, give me the phone back and drop it. Please.” 

At your tone, Bucky stopped and turned to look at you, something hardening in his expression. “I’d really like you to show me what you were looking at, Pocket,” he said, his voice now fully serious.

You shook your head. God; if he saw what had captured your attention so thoroughly, it could destroy everything the two of you had built. You didn’t know if you could survive the mortification. If he could survive the betrayal. 

“Sweetheart,” he began slowly, “you’re scaring me. What’s on this phone that you don’t want me to see?”

His words broke you– he deserved to know the truth, and if he decided he was disgusted with you once he did… well, that was your own damn fault, wasn’t it? For not being able to control yourself. 

He noticed the instant you accepted your fate by the way your expression shattered and he swallowed thickly. “How bad is it?” he asked.

You gnawed on your lip. “Before you look,” you began, wringing your hands together, “you gotta know that I never intended for it to get this far.” You couldn’t even look at him, you were so ashamed of what you’d done. 

“Let what get this far?” Bucky asked slowly, nervously.

“I swear, I started out only doing it when you were away on missions,” you rushed, wanting to get everything you could out in the open before he saw for himself. “Because I missed you and… and I was so lonely.” Bucky opened his mouth to speak, but you pushed on. 

“I know that’s not an excuse!” you exclaimed, beginning to pace in front of him. “I just… You need to know that, when it started, I was thinking about you the entire time!” You were rambling now, but you couldn’t stop. “I just… I got addicted to it, to the way it made me feel, and soon it was happening whenever you weren’t around, and the last thing I wanted was for you to find out like this!”

Bucky’s face had gone pale at your confession, the muscles in his jaw twitching as he took in everything you had to say.

“But you gotta believe me, baby,” you continued, “none of it means anything– none of it’s real. I swear– I just… I just got weak.” You hung your head as you finished speaking, your shame too much for you to bare as you laid it all out before him. “I love you,” you added meekly. “I love you so much, and I never meant to hurt you.”

Bucky was silent as you dropped to the couch, head in your hands. Slowly, he sunk into the empty armchair beside you, looking completely shell shocked and at a loss for words, unable to process your betrayal. 

“You may as well look at it,” you said forlornly. “Learn the entire truth.”

“I’m not so sure I want to, anymore,” Bucky admitted.

“It’s the only way we can move forward, Buck,” you said sadly. “I don’t see any other way.”

You heard him sigh as he entered your passcode– the last digits of his military ID, and you hid your face in your hands, feeling even worse for what you’d done. 

The silence stretched on for what felt like an eternity as Bucky scrolled through your phone, reading through all the words that had gotten you through the long, lonely nights of missing him, that had caused you to cry out in pleasure when he wasn’t there, and your face burned with mortification, imagining what he must be thinking. You’d never wanted him to find out, and certainly not like this. He’d never be able to look at you the same way again.

Eventually, after who knew how long, you felt the weight of him fall down next to you on the couch, and heard him let out a long, tired sigh. You lifted your head up to steal a glance at him, wiping at the tears that had fallen while he uncovered the depth of your betrayal.

“So,” he said, his voice heavy, “Tumblr.”

“I’m so sorry!” you cried, turning away from him. “I told you, I never meant for it to go this far!”

Bucky let loose a low chuckle and brought a hand up to rub comforting circles on your back. “Doll,” he said, his voice so gentle that it almost physically hurt you. Where did you get off receiving his comfort, after what you’d done? “Do you have any idea how much worse I thought this was going to be?”

Your head snapped toward him. “Worse?” you exclaimed. “Bucky, I’ve been getting myself off while reading fan fiction about my own fucking boyfriend! How could it possibly get any worse?!”

Bucky started laughing at you then, and for a brief moment, you almost wanted to punch him. “Sweetheart, I thought you were tryna hide that you were having an affair!”

You looked back at him incredulously, eyes wide. “Baby!” you exclaimed, shocked and hurt at the insinuation. “I would never! I… I would rather die!”

He leaned forward and kissed the crown of your head. “I know, love,” he said with a grin. “You just scared me with the way you were acting, is all. Like it was some horrible, dirty secret.”

“But it was!” you said. “Like, how messed up is it that when you’re not here, I’m touching myself reading stories that random strangers wrote about you until I cum? You have to admit, that’s not normal!”

Bucky quirked an eyebrow. “Until you cum, huh? Might need you to go into some detail about that for me, doll.”

You swatted his shoulder. “Bucky, it’s not funny! I don’t know how you can be so okay with this– I’ve been beating myself up over it for ages! I’m a freak!”

Wrapping an arm around your shoulders, Bucky pulled you into him. “You’re not a freak, sweets,” he said. “My girl misses me so much, she looks for dirty stories about me on the internet to keep her company until I can be with her again. How can a guy be anything but flattered by that? If that makes you a ‘freak,’ then so be it– you’re my freak, and I’m a lucky man to have you.”

You eyed him skeptically, a pout ghosting your lips. “You mean that?”

“Mmm,” he leaned forward and rubbed his cheek against yours, his stubble gently scratching your skin and sending a thrill through you. “I do,” he said. He caught your lips with his own, the kiss gentle, yet promising something more. “It’s actually kinda hot.”

You snorted at his declaration, not fully believing him for a second. “Hot,” you reiterated skeptically. 

“Absolutely.” His nose brushed against yours, and you felt your eyelids flutter closed at the contact. “Incredibly hot, imaging you lying there with your hands buried in your cunt while you read about all sorts of dirty things I could do to you.”

“Yeah?” you asked in a breathy whisper. “You like thinking about that?”

“I sure do,” he said, his flesh hand snaking up your thigh to caress your skin. “But you know what I’d like even better?” His hand slipped up the leg of your shorts, his fingers tracing patterns near the apex of your inner thigh. “What’s that?” you gasped.

“If you and I went upstairs to bed and read some of these filthy fantasies, together,” he said, ghosting his fingertips over your core. “Who knows, maybe we can find some good ones for the two of us to act out. Might be fun.”

You were moving from the couch to the stairs so quickly that Bucky couldn’t help but laugh. “I take it you like that idea, huh, doll?”

“Fuck, Barnes,” you said as you practically dragged him up the stairs by the hand, “if I’d know you’d react like this, I’d have confessed about my smut addiction to you months ago!”

[naferty]

It's been a minute, but I'm happy to say I wrote something stony! And avac stony to boot.

This was heavily inspired by an old BL manga I read many years ago.

~~~

Tony wouldn’t say his time in Avengers Academy was bad. He wouldn’t say it was good either. As the son of a SHIELD agent and a HYDRA double agent, it was hard to find people to hang out with, let alone have any friends. What with the whole ‘he could be a double agent waiting to reveal secrets for his own benefit,’ thing looming over him thanks to his father. 

It didn’t matter that his mother had been a dedicated agent who left his father the moment she learned he was double-crossing and raised him herself to be a good person. All her efforts were ignored and Tony was lucky to be called a backstabber at worst and a turncoat at best. 

At least this school accepted him with minimal difficulty. Granted, he was ignored by the two main affiliates he was associated with, but at least he was able to study and hey! He was given permission to use the engineering room. He had that going for him.

It wasn’t all doom and gloom though. Sure, the one individual who managed to overlook his whole conflicted birth was not exactly a person to write home about, but Loki had a sense of fashion compared to most and always made sure Tony looked his best. 

“No Asgardian prince will share common space with a pauper,” were Loki’s everyday words when he found Tony wearing his admittedly cheap outfits. Conveniently forgetting Tony wasn’t exactly carrying a nation’s treasury in his back pocket like the prince. 

All in all, it wasn’t so bad. He had a sort-of friend but really an acquaintance who found his presence less annoying than most. He was given permission to tinker and experiment with tech and invent whatever he wanted. Within reason. He was given his education. He even managed to share space with some of the greatest names known! Both on Earth and from space. 

Captain Marvel, the Hulk, Falcon, heck, he even managed to catch a glimpse of Moon Girl and had Iron Woman look at him once! The last one had made Tony’s entire day. What he would give to share, like, ten minutes with Iron Woman and pick at her brain. See how she worked. A dream come true. 

Often, he would daydream of one day joining any of their groups. Just once. Even if it was only a minute or two. He would daydream of perhaps making a difference somewhere, even if small. Invent life-changing tech. Maybe even become a hero in his own right? Anything to show he wasn’t just a simple agent who was ready to turn their friends over at a moment’s notice.

What he would give for just a glimpse of what that would feel. Not having everyone watch your every move. 

Well, not much to be done there. He just had to buckle down and work harder than most to go against the whole school’s expectations of him. Every day he attended his classes, completed his extracurricular activities, worked on his shabby attempt at an AI and daydreamed about what-ifs.

“Yo, Clint, hurry up. You’re already late!” 

Tony turned to look behind him where the Hawkeye and the Falcon were casually waving at each other. Going about their day like usual and walking around as if they didn’t carry big names on them. 

He sighed and went back to his work. He was finishing up his coding for another attempt at Friday’s calculating. He was alone at Club A. The engineering room having been taken up in its entirety by up-and-coming SHIELD agents wanting to be the next big shot. As Tony was not in the mood to be constantly stared or pointed at, he decided to finish his coding in the one building devoid of bodies this time of day. 

However, even if alone with nothing to distract him, he couldn’t help his mind wandering around the place. In particular, a rumor that had begun circulating around the Academy recently. A rumor involving the golden boy. Captain America himself. 

What was the rumor? Why, apparently Captain America had a crush. In the grand scheme of things, it wasn’t exactly something worth talking about, but if one was following Captain America’s career closely, it was big news. 

Captain America was a big name, and the person responsible for it wasn’t someone to ignore. Steve Rogers was kind, respectful, brave and a very, very private person. Especially with his romantic aspect of it. It was rare to ever see the guy go on dates or show even a lick of interest to anyone. One could say if he ever found love again the person lucky enough wouldn’t have to ever worry about his eyes straying. 

Peggy Carter was a very lucky woman, or had been lucky, he would say. If the rumor held any truth, the founder of SHIELD was no longer the one holding the Captain’s heart. 

According to hearsay, Steve Rogers had a crush on someone in the engineering club, and while Peggy Carter was a genius in her own right, she wasn’t exactly tech savy for the club. This left a few possible contenders. Excluding the SHIELD agents – because come on, why would Captain America go for a lowly SHIELD agent? – the heroes at the top of the list were Moon Girl, Ironheart, Shuri, Spider-Gwen and, of course, Iron Woman. There were more, sure, but the rumor listed these specifically. 

Tony sighed again, tapping the end of his pen against the wooden surface he was working on top of. He should probably stop thinking about this particular rumor, but he couldn’t help it. Ever since growing up, he looked up to the idea of Captain America. Going against all odds to be the hero he was today. Tony couldn’t help but compare himself and his hardships with the guy, and somewhere along the way he kind of, sort of, maybe had gained a little bit of a crush on the hero, so hearing about the hero liking someone was a little painful. 

If he had to guess, the one the Captain was crushing on was probably Iron Woman. The one and only Natasha Stark. He often saw the two hanging out with each other. Always together with their ‘click.’ It was only natural Steve would catch some feelings if they hung out every day. 

Didn’t hurt any less though. 

“Okay,” he said to no one. “Focus. Focus.” He couldn’t waste his hour of free time away thinking about this. He had coding to finish and nobody was going to help him with it. Loki was useless when it came to tech and didn’t exactly make for encouraging company, so it was now or never. 

He slammed his pen down, harder than necessary, but the paper had no feelings to hurt so he didn’t particularly care, but he did utter a soft ‘sorry’ for disrespecting the code. 

He got to work and made good progress. His calculations might be a little off but he could hammer it down once he had access to the engineering labs again. The important thing was he had the base to work with. 

He decided to stop when he got stuck. He needed to test out his idea, but with no access right now to the computers at the labs, it was pointless to continue. He shuffled the papers together and stuffed them in his backpack. He still had twenty minutes left to kill time before his next class, meaning his next destination was the park. There, he was left alone and he could sit with his thoughts.

Ah, perhaps that wasn’t the best idea. The last thing he needed was time to think about the rumor again. Then again, he was thinking about it now as he attempted not to think about it. A vicious cycle.

As he was busy with his inner turmoil, he failed to notice someone getting closer from behind and by the time they caught his attention, Tony was left staring blankly at a flower in his face. 

It was a rose. Very red and very much smelling of a rose. It was jammed right in front of Tony’s nose and he went a little cockeyed looking at it. The person at the other end of the rose was none other than Steve Rogers. 

Whoa, Tony thought. He had never seen the Captain America standing so close before. Had his eyes always been that blue? 

So enraptured by those eyes, Tony could do nothing as the Captain reached out to cup the side of his face and pulled him forward. Tony went wide-eyed when the hero placed a small kiss on his mouth. A peck, really. Tony barely felt it. 

The hero pulled back and gave a blinding smile. Then, just as quickly as he appeared, he left the rose on his lap and disappeared, leaving Tony alone once more in Club A. 

Tony placed his good hand over his mouth unconsciously, and as his thoughts started catching up he went bright red. 

He just – he just – he – k-kissed -

A squeak he would deny for the rest of his life escaped him and Tony quickly scrambled to run back to his dorm to hide. 

[stephenjaymorrisblog]

Bibi Goes to Washington

Stephen Jay Morris

7/26/2024

©Scientific Morality

Not many people are going to read this article. I might as well be preaching to a basket of kittens. It certainly wouldn’t hurt my feeling to engage in that type of activity.  The concept of bad Jew and good Jew has not penetrated with non-Jews comprehension. There is this politically correct notion that you can’t say anything negative about Jews, even though some Jews do negative things. Well, as a Jew myself, I give you permission to criticize any Jew that does wrong.

I have stated before about Jews who were gangsters or serial killers. Though the late Bugsy Siegal, Jewish gangster, was a handsome dude, he was an evil asshole. Prime Minister Netanyahu is a 74-year-old, ugly, fat, old man that looks more like Bela Lugosi than Bugsy Siegal. He is a stereotype of evil. Yes, Virgina, there are evil Jews. The problem with real antisemites is that they think all Jews are evil. On the other hand, American liberals think all Jews are saints. Both are wrong. The old trope that Jews are either Communists or greedy money-grubbers. Is too dualistic to be true. The old-time Hollywood studios’ owners were registered Republicans and were happy to assist the anti-Communist campaign to rid America of Communists. Just remember, anticommunism and antisemitism walk hand in hand, together, down Desolation Row.

So? Who in the fuck is this Netanyahu character anyway?  He thinks he was anointed by God to lead the Jewish people. No, really—he does. He has a solemn disposition like someone suffering from a sociopathology disorder. The only time he smiles is when he is cavorting with Donald Trump, another nut case. No matter how much video tape that’s been shot of it, he will not cop to killing women and children. It’s all Hamas’ fault. He told house Republicans that the reason the Palestinians are starving is because Hamas is stealing their food. No matter how much evidence to the contrary there is, the Likud flunkies will lie with intransient vigor. That is like saying the reason Black people are starving is because the Black Panther Party is stealing their food. Likud propaganda is not just sophistic, it’s outright, fucking retarded! There are also non-Jews who believe it!

Bibi came to Washington to appear in the Peoples’ House and excoriate American politicians like an angry school master. He acted like he was going to give each member a caning. Not a bad idea. He stood up there at the podium, like an ancient, avenging angel, lecturing the House about not doing enough for Israel. And after every declaration, he was interrupted with a standing ovation by these sycophantic Democrats and Conservatives who, otherwise, wouldn’t know anything about the Jewish people—at all!

Then came the cherry on top: he condemned the American anti-war movement of being paid agitators of Iran. Oh Yeah? Do you have the receipts, Bibi? Or did you pull that one out of your tush?

The idea that Bibi came to America to criticize American lawmakers of not doing much and accusing the pro-Palestinian movement of being financed by a foreign country—an Israeli enemy, by the way—would make one think he is some type of courageous warrior. No, he is not. He was protected by the secret service and—get this—he was staying at the Watergate hotel! Why there?

Funny, my generation was accused by these same creeps of being financed by the former Soviet Union for our anti-war demonstrations. Nothing ever changes but the names. I wished to God that somebody had handed him a subpoena and handcuffed his fat hands! The only time I would support Hamas would be if they kidnaped him, took him to the World Court, and put him on trial. He would probably ask for a public defender; he’s too cheap to get a lawyer! What? Too antisemitic? Good!

[andydrysdalerogers]

Yours Submissively ~ Consequences

Steve Rogers X OFC Isabella Davis

Summary: Five Years after the events of Civil War, Steve Rogers has moved on from avenging and has started his own business, Grant Inc. He has a secret that would turn his world upside down. And he's good at keep that secret. Until he meets the woman with violet eyes that could bring him to his knees. Now his mission is to make her, his. But she is the key that could bring the world into balance... or chaos.

And she has no idea.

Series Warnings: slow burn at the beginning, smut, angst, sexual themes of BDSM, dom/sub dynamics, kidnapping, loss of virginity, (and a bunch of others that will come up)

A/N: I was guilt tripped into posting this. For the record, I wasn't going to abandon you on the last part. But after this post, we have just four parts left. Eek!

Dividers by @firefly-graphics

Banners by me!

I do NOT give permission for my work to be translated or reposted on here or any other site, even if you give me credit. DO NOT REPOST MY FICS. Reblogs, comments, likes, and feedback ALWAYS appreciated

Previous: Devious

Series Masterlist ~ Main Masterlist

Four months later… 

Steve walked down to the cells, lost in thought. He looked tired, deep in his emotions. Dressed in all black as he had been for months, he brought down a small package with him, a gift for an old friend.  As he walked through the empty cells, he thought back through his life.  How one person changed his life.  As he approached the final cell, he sighed.  “Hello Sharon.”  

“Steve!  I didn’t think you would visit me.”  Sharon Carter looked dirty, tired, her blonde hair dull and flat.  She had been in the cell for four months, stood trial and found guilty of treason and attempted murder.  She had planned Belle’s demise and now she would pay for it tomorrow with her life.  

Beck had left details of his plans and the players, all but sealing their fate when they were captured. It was the little solace that Steve found that justice had somewhat been served.  This was the final piece.  This person, not even a woman, had ended his hopes of a peaceful life. “I brought you something.”  

“A present for my execution. How curious.” Sharon looked at the man she loved with sorrow.  He was in pain, mourning.  “I could help you feel good,” she said with a sly smile.  

“Only my wife could do that,” Steve snarled at her.  “You are getting what you deserve.”  

“I wouldn’t have done it if I knew she was pregnant Steve.”  

“You’re a liar! You wanted Belle gone!” 

“I loved you!”  

“And I hate you,” he growled.  He threw the box through the slot in the glass.  

“What is it?” 

“Open it and see.” He stood in front of her, arms crossed.  

Sharon opened the box carefully.  She looked in saw a blue cloth. She pulled it out.  It was a blue onesie.  A tear formed in her eye when she spotted the pink color in the box.  Another onesie.  “Steve, I am…” 

“Save it!” Steve thought back to the day his life was turned upside down… 

He jumped onto the jet with Belle and he and Bucky immediately started pressure on her as Tony flew, Wanda started IVs.  Peter, Nat, Sam and Clint stayed behind to gather intel and clear the scene.  As soon as the gauze was in place, Steve held Belle’s hand and the other on her belly.  “Please baby, please, don’t leave me,” he wept.  

“Two minutes Cap,” Tony called out.  “Where is she shot?” 

“The abdomen,” Bucky called back. “Its slowing but I don’t know about…” he trailed off.  

“I love you,” Steve whispered to Belle, kissing her knuckles.  “I need you.  I need our family, baby please, just stay alive.”  

Tony landed the jet at the hospital and Steve picked up Belle and ran her in.  “Please help, my wife, she’s pregnant and she’s been shot. Please.”  The doctors and nurses ran forward with a gurney and started to run her back.  Steve made to follow but a nurse stopped him.  

“We need to work on your wife.  Please wait here.”  

“Please, just do whatever you need to save them.”  

“We’ll do everything we can.” She turned to run after the gurney and Steve felt Bucky and Tony’s hands on his shoulders. His shoulders shagged and he began to sob.  The guys moved him to the chairs to wait.  Steve became quiet, staring at a spot on the floor.  Time felt like it was moving so slow.  The rest of the team showed up, sitting around. Tony began to pace as Pepper brought in coffee and snacks.  

“Captain Rogers?” 

Steve’s head snapped up to look at a tired looking doctor. He stood up with Bucky right next to him.  “Belle?” 

“Mrs. Rogers lost a significant amount of blood.  The bullet entered her side and nicked her liver.  We stopped the bleeding but luckily the liver is regenerative, and she will make a full recovery.”  Bucky sagged and clapped his back.  The rest of the team exhaled but Steve needed one more piece of information.  

“And the baby?” 

“Your babies are perfect.  The amniotic sac was not affected at all since she is only eight or so weeks pregnant.”  

Steve looked at the doctor, his face shocked.  “Babies?” 

“Oh.” The doctor looked embarrassed.  “I assumed you were aware.  Yes, twins. Your wife is carrying twins. As I said, she’s between eight to nine weeks.  They have strong heartbeats and are perfect for their age.” The doctor smiles.  “She is still unconscious after the emergency surgery but if you would like to see her, I can take you up?” 

“Yes, yes please.”  Steve headed to follow the doctor but turned.  “Buck?” 

“Yeah, I’m right behind you.”  

Steve looked at the team.  “Thank you, guys.”  

“We’ll be here Steve,” Sam said.  The team nodded and Steve and Bucky followed the doctor.  

“Captain, because of the blood loss it may take some time for Mrs. Rogers to come around.  We checked for any injuries to her head to be sure, but we didn’t see any.  Her body may just need time to recover from the shock. We have her hooked up to monitors and two fetal monitors, one for each baby so don’t be alarms by the amount of equipment.”  

“But she’ll be ok?”  

“Yes, like I stated, we expect her to make a full recovery. My recommendation is to relax, hold her hand and talk to her. We’ll keep checking on her until she is awake and discharged.”  

“Thank you doctor.”  

“Ok, right in here.”  He pointed to a door and Steve walked in.  Belle looked smaller than normal in the bed.  She skin was pale, a startling contrast to her black hair. She looked peaceful except for the noises of the monitors.  But what truly shocked him with the twin heartbeats coming from the fetal monitors.  

Steve froze.  The sounds stunned him.  His babies, his children, were real and alive inside of their momma. Bucky nudged him forward and Steve took shaky steps towards the bed.  He pulled a chair close and took Belle’s hand.  “I’m here, sweet pea.”  He kissed it gently.  “We’re all here waiting for you to wake up. I love you. I love you all so much and you are going to be so surprise.”  

Bucky came to the other side.  “Hey sweetheart. You rest ok.  You’re growing my nieces or nephews.”  

“God Buck. Two of them.”  

“I know punk. I can’t believe it.”  

Steve kept vigil at Belle’s bedside for the next twenty-four hours. Her heartbeat got stronger with time. The team rotated in with Steve with Nat and Bucky finally convincing him to change out of his suit and shower in the ensuite. As the warm water ran over his body, Steve took the moment lose himself in his feelings. He almost lost her. He almost ruined the best thing in his life.  He almost lost his children. He grew angry, thinking of the people who tried to take her away.  He climbed out of the shower and dressed.  He walked out to see Sam and Bucky sitting by Belle’s head.  “Any updates?” 

“Vision has Sharon in a cell in the tower.  I took all we found there for FRIDAY to analyze,” Sam replied.  

“They also have Lila there as well,” Bucky said with a hard voice. “Tony and Nat will begin their interrogation of her within the hour.”  

“Bucky, I’m sorry about Lila.”  

“Don’t be.  She used me and my love for her to take my best friend. I can’t forgive that.”  

Steve pulled Bucky in for a hug and held his best friend as he finally let some emotion shows. They talked quietly, with Steve never letting go of Belle’s hand.  A couple of hours later, Steve was leaning against the bed when he felt a movement in his hand. He blinked his eyes open and looked at Belle.  Her violet eyes open, still struggling but open. “Hi.” 

He cuts Sharon off. “Jealous should be the word that comes out of your mouth.” Steve smirked at her.  “Belle is having twins. My boy and my girl.” He leaned forward to the glass.  “What? You think she died in that attack?” 

Sharon blinked. They never mentioned Belle’s status during the trial.  She just assumed she was dead. Sharon began screaming in rage, slamming her fist to the unbreakable glass. “You son of a bitch!” 

“I won’t be in the gallery tomorrow, Sharon. Enjoy death.”  Steve walked out of the cells, the sounds of Sharon’s screams fading with every step.  

“Was that necessary amore mio?” 

Steve spun to see Belle standing next to the doorway to the cells. “After what she tried to do to you and my children, absolutely.”  Steve placed his hand over Belle’s six-month bump.  “How are they today?” 

“Just flutters.  Should feel them any day.”  Belle smiled up at her husband.  

“I can’t wait. Wanna feel my princess and my boy.  

Belle smiled. “I wanna feel them too.” 

“Hi sweet pea.”  He leaned forward to press his forehead to hers and then placed a gentle kiss to her lips. “I’m so happy you’re awake my love.”  He kissed her forehead and pulled back to look at her.  

“What happened?” 

“When you elbowed Beck, the gun went off and you were shot.  It was a through and through, but it nicked your liver.  You’re gonna be fine.”  

Belle nodded in understanding but suddenly gasped and sat up.  “The baby?” 

“Shh. Easy love. Everything is ok.  They are ok.  The babies are perfectly healthy and safe.”  

“Babies?  What do you mean babies?”  Belle reached for her stomach.  Steve laid his hand on top of hers.  

“Lay back Belle.  Its ok”. He laid her down and sat on the edge of the bed.  “You are pregnant with twins, my love.  They checked when they took you to surgery.”  

“Twins?  Oh my god, twins!” 

Steve lifted her hand and kissed her palmed and then placed her small hand on his face. The beard tickled her hand, and she smiled but Steve frowned. “I’m so sorry Belle.”   

“Baby…” 

“No let me finish.  I am so sorry for keeping the truth from you.  I’m sorry for lying.  I am so sorry that I put you here. Please don’t leave me.” Belle felt a few tears escape her eyes.  Steve cupped her face and used his thumb to clear the tears. “Please don’t cry love. Please, I am so…” 

“I’m sorry too,” she blurted out.  “I’m sorry I ran.  I’m sorry I didn’t listen. Please don’t hate me.”  

Steve climbed into bed with her as she clung to his shirt and cried. “I could never hate you.  You saved me from a life of solitude and darkness.  You brought color back into my life.  And all at once… 

You were the one I was waiting for,” she finished. “I love you.”  

“I love you. My baby momma.”  

Belle spent the day of the execution in the nursery with Nat, Wanda, MJ and Hope, planning out the room. Mrs. Lewis was taking notes with Belle’s new assistant, Ava.  “I think we need to put the cribs here,” Belle pointed, “and the changing table and dresser here.  I would like to have twin rocking chairs because I know Steve will want to be in here with me when he can.”  

“Of course, Mrs. Rogers,” Ava said as she consulted measurements with Mrs. Lewis.  

“Oh Ava, before I forget, we have a dinner with the alumni association on Friday and I will need to attend with Steve. Bucky and Clint will also be attended but Clint is bringing Laura, so I need you to attend with Bucky.”  

“S-sure,” Ava stuttered, a flash of pink on her cheeks as she looked down at her tablet.  Belle noticed the flush but did not give it any attention but filing it for future use.  

“We need to make sure you have a formal dress, Ava.  So, we have a fitting at Vera Wang tomorrow.” She looked over the girl.  She was a strawberry blonde with green eyes. Petite but curvy. “Red, I think,” she said.  

“Oh, Mrs. Rogers…” 

“Nope, its Belle.”  She turned to Mrs. Lewis.  “Please make sure that Marco and Marie know it’s for three ladies.  Laura will be joining us unless of course Nat and Wanda are joining us as well.”  

“We can make an afternoon of it,” Nat said, understanding what she was trying to do with Ava and Bucky.  

“Perfect.” Belle clapped with glee until a look of shock crossed her face.  Her hand flew to her belly.  

“Belle?” Wanda looked at her.  Her eyes flashed red for a moment.  “Nat, we need Steve.”  Nat picked up her phone and called while the rest of the women crowded her. “Ok, let’s give her a moment alone,” Wanda said with a smile.  Steve and Bucky came running in.  

“Sweet pea?  What’s wrong?”  

Wanda approached Ava.  “Bucky, can you take Ava outside please?”  Bucky flushed slightly at the young woman and offered his arm.  He looked back at his best friends as they waited for the room to clear.  

“Baby, what’s wrong?” Steve looked at his wife.  

“Nothing,” she smiled.  She took his hand and placed it on the side of her belly.  

“Love, what…” 

“Just a second.”  They waited and then Steve’s eyes widen as Belle felt a kick to her side. He looked down at her belly and then back to her eyes.  “I think your son is saying hello.”  

“Oh…” he kneeled before his wife.  “Hello son.  Hey princess.  I’m your dad.”  A tear formed in his eye.  “I love you and your momma so much little ones.”  He stayed there a while, caressing her belly and talking to his children.  They were interrupted when Bucky walked in.  

“I’m sorry to interrupt but it’s done.” He looked down.  

Steve stood up and held Belle from behind, his hands on her belly.  “Did she say anything?” 

“Only professing her love for you and then Hail HYDRA.”  

Steve nodded. “Ok, well that’s that.  Come love, you should rest.”  

“Ok.”  No emotion crossed Belle’s face.  “Oh Bucky, since you will be attending the gala with us, I’ve asked Ava to be your escort for the evening.”  She watched as Bucky’s ears turned red as he patted the back of his head.  

“Oh, yes, well, ok, if you want, I guess I’m ok with that…” he stammered.  

Belle giggled.  Steve looked at her curiously before leading her to their room.  He laid her down on her sided and then climbed behind her, holding her to his chest.  “What do you know, sweet pea?” 

“I know that Bucky and Ava are crushing on each other,” she smirked.  “And I know that I love you.”  

“I love you more my queen.” He kissed her head and smiled.  “What about Clint?” 

“He’s bringing Laura.” She looked back at Steve, who had a shocked face.  “I think seeing what we went through, he didn’t want to be away from the love of his life anymore.  I know they divorced because he was an Avenger and thought he was protecting her.  I’m just glad he figured out that he couldn’t live without her.”  

“My little matchmaker,” Steve chuckled. “You need to rest love.”  

“I’m trying; I’m just so tense.  Carrying your children is tough.”  

“Hmm, well maybe something to help you with that.” Steve got a wicked look on his face as he reaches under her sundress and pulled her panties down.  He stroked between her folds. “Already so wet, love,” he whispered in her ear, pressing kisses to her neck.  

“Stevie,” she moaned.  He was aware of how sensitive she was so he went gentle and slow. He sank a finger into her and arched her back, her belly sticking out more. 

“Easy baby,” Steve held her close, letting her feel how turned on he was. He grasped her chin with his free hand to kiss her softly as he added another finger. She moaned into his lips.  

“Stevie, I need more.”  

Steve smiled as he eased her onto her back.  He snaked down as pushed her knees up. He kissed between her thighs and gently licked her folds.  She jolted up and Steve chuckled. “Feel good baby?” 

“Amore please,” she pleaded. Steve went in, tasting, sucking, drawing out unnatural noises from his wife.  Being pregnant made every touch be like a lightning through her. He could feel her starting to reach her peak.  

“Cum for me, my queen. Let me taste you.” With a silent scream, her body spasmed, making her see stars.  Steve coaxed her down before rolling her to her side again and he removed his jeans and boxers.  He got behind her again and lifted a leg, hooking it around his hip, opening her to him from behind.  Steve carefully slid into her heat.  She moaned loudly as Steve peppered her neck and cheek with kisses.  “You feel amazing as ever love.”  

“Stevie,” she cried quietly. He was gentle, not wanting to hurt or disturb his children.  

“You are a goddess, my love.  So warm and tight. Carrying my children.  You are even more beautiful now than before,” he whispered as he thrusted softly into her. She keened at the praise, placing her hands over his on her hips. She began to tighten again. “That’s my good girl, let go.” He wrapped his arms around her as she came again and he rutted two more times before spilling into her.  He could feel her body relax and she fell asleep with him still inside her.  He didn’t dare move, knowing sleep was hard to find for her now. But he was ok, in his happy place, inside his wife, holding his unborn children.  

See... I can end a chapter on a nice note...

NEXT

Taglist:

@patzammit

@texmexdarling

@slutforchrisjamalevans

@firephotogrl74

@tinkerbelle67

@before-we-get-started

@bunnyforhim

@alexakeyloveloki

@sunnyhummingbee

@whiskeytangofoxtrot555

@peaceinourtime82

@kmc1989

@lokislady82

@saucy-sassy-sparkly

[areiton]

Cap-IM Rec Week - Day 7

Today’s list is short--it’s highlighting work you wouldn’t normally give a chance to, and that’s pretty rare for me. I give everything a shot because I’m a greedy whore when it comes to Stevetony. But here are two works that standout and that I thoroughly loved. I’ve really enjoyed @cap-ironman Rec Week--if you’re looking for more recs, check out @stevetonyweekly where I post all the Stevetony content I read each week. 

Tiny Spy Assassin Steve by copperbadge

An AU in which Steve Rogers was born into the modern day and never received the Serum, but managed to make it into SHIELD as a handpicked protege of senior field agent Abraham Erskine. Along with Phil Coulson, Clint Barton, Natasha Romanoff, Peggy Carter, and eventually Sam Wilson and Bucky Barnes, Steve still tries to make a difference.

Particularly in the life of Tony Stark, who picked up what he thought was an art student in a bar, and ended up dating one of SHIELD's top agents...

I am EXTREMELY picky about pre-serum Steve fics and this one is just--fan-fucking-tastic. 

[Podfic] Straight on till Morning by Sineala by M_Samro

Tony Stark resigned his commission in Starfleet five years ago, after a disastrous away mission, and he swore he'd never go back. He just wants to be left alone to build warp engines in peace. But the universe has more in store for him than that, as he discovers when Admiral Fury comes to him with an offer he could never have expected and cannot possibly refuse: first officer and chief engineer aboard the all-new USS Avenger, a starship of Tony's own design. What's more, the Avenger's captain is Steve Rogers, hero of the Earth-Romulan War. Believed dead for over a century, Steve is miraculously alive... and very, very attractive.

But nothing is ever easy for Tony. As he wrestles with his secret desire for his new captain and his not-so-dormant fears, another mission starts to go wrong, and Tony becomes aware that Steve has secrets of his own -- and the truth could change everything.

So this fic--podfic--deserves two spots on the list. First because I almost didn’t read it. Star Trek was the first media I can remember watching as a child (dear god, the nightmares from those fucking ear bugs) and it remains one of the nearest and dearest to my heart, so I’m extremely picky about crossovers--but I trusted Sine and it quickly became one of my favorite Trek fics, in or out of the fandom. I’m ALSO picky about podfic--I get very very little time for podfic and I’m super picky narrators on these kinds of things--audiobooks/podfics/podcasts--so I wasn’t sold on the idea, but I had a house to paint and a friend rec’ed it and omg, best decision ever. As emotional as the reading the fic made me, listening to the podfic was even more so. I love it to an unhealthy degree, honestly. 

[artificialqueens]

🎁 Game Night (UK4) for VioletSchiffer - Winter

SECRET QUEEN 2022 by @winterboxx, for VioletSchiffer

a/n: apologies for the late post but i hope my giftee enjoys, tried my best to make something silly and fluffy for you :))) 

—

“Oh you slag!” Danny shouted boisterously, Sminty looking at them smugly as they won another round, everyone snickering at the intense reaction. 

“It’s not my fault you got hit by a blue shell, just get better.” She ducked as Danny threw a cushion her way, snickering at their dramatic reaction. 

“Maybe we should play something else?” Dakota grimaced at the rowdiness of her friends, glancing to Cheddar for help, who just shrugged in response “I don’t know, I’m finding this pretty entertaining.” Starlet piped up, her smile enough to calm Dakota into a sense of amusement at the chaos unfolding in front of them. Getting everyone in a room with video games sure was a decision but she’d be lying if she said this wasn’t fun. It was loud, a bit hot with so many of them squished into the flat’s front room but she felt comfortable for the first time in years. 

By the time she focused back on what was happening around her, Cheddar had convinced Danny to stop trying to beat Sminty after she’d won every game she’d played against them and passed one controller to Baby who seemed confident in their abilities and dangled the other in the air for whoever volunteered. 

“Dakota, use your nerd skills to beat her!” Danny prodded the blonde’s shoulder, tossing her the controller from Cheddar’s hand. In an ideal world she would have caught it, not making a fool out of herself in front of her friends. Unfortunately not everything could be so perfect, the small controller smacking her in the face with a loud thwack. That caught everyone’s attention, great. 

Starlet couldn’t hold back her laughter by Dakota’s side, getting gently elbowed in response for laughing and their misery. Danny looked half apologetic and half as if they were trying not to burst out laughing. Only Cheddar cared to actually inquire about how she felt.

“Are you okay?” They asked, crouching to the floor where Dakota sat and staring at her face as she covered it with one hand, the other picking up the joycon from where it had landed on the floor.  “…That hurt.” Her muffled whine of a  response was enough to crack the rest of Danny’s composure, bursting into a cacophony of laughter that soon spread around the room.  “I can see that.”

“Sorry ‘kota, didn’t mean to hit you. Was kinda funny though.” She knew the apology was genuine but still, Dakota shot the most annoyed look she could muster at Danny before breaking into a grin. All seriousness gone within a second as the fun of the atmosphere got to her. This was new, feeling such comfort in a group of people even if she knew and liked all of them. A few months ago she wouldn’t have dreamed of being in a group larger than 5 and only then because she wanted to spend time with Starlet and just happened to be in the front room while the rest of her flatmates were. 

Times like this were a good reminder, no matter how much things felt suffocating with exams and assignment after assignment at least going to uni gave her these people, no matter how obnoxious some of them could be, they were family now. 

Dakota focused her attention back to the screen, deciding to avenge Danny just to irk Sminty. It was funny seeing her get riled up and super competitive, picking pink gold Peach like it would give her some innate advantage over the rest of them. 

The first track was easy enough, the cheer Danny let out at her sniping Sminty out of first with a red shell made it hard to keep focus but she managed, placing first with Sminty second, Baby third and Cheddar somehow in 7th. They truly were an enigma sometimes. 

“Kick her ass.” Starlet whispered into her ear as the results came in for the second track, a mirror of the previous one. 

The streak continued onto the third track, Sminty getting more perturbed by the minute and Danny taking great joy in their retribution. Baby managed to outplace her that time, coming in second once again behind Dakota. Everyone had turned their attention to the screen by that point, enjoying the competition and the playful insults being thrown around, mostly Sminty unable to admit defeat. No one was surprised when she lost the fourth track but watching her huff when admitting to the loss was the fun part. 

Even among all this chaos, she felt something bubbling up. A warmth that enveloped her whole being. Maybe this was what it was like to finally feel understood.  

Maybe she wasn’t alone anymore, they all had each other in a mismatched chaotic little family. It felt right. 

[alwaysmarveling]

Milestones

Pairing: Natasha Romanoff x fem!Reader

Warnings: None that I can think of, but please let me know if you think I’m forgetting any!

Word Count: 3.9k

Summary: You and Nat are starting a family. It’s challenging, but you wouldn’t have it any other way.

A/N: Welcome to the first series I’ve ever finished! I was a bit hesitant to publish this because, it being my first series, I’m not too sure how good it is and it does hold a special place in my heart, but if just one of you ends up liking it too, it’ll be worth it. This part is all fluff, but there will be angst in future parts. If you’re not a fan of that, this can just be read as a fluffy one-shot :) And big thanks to @vancityfire13 for talking this through with me, I really appreciate it <3

“He’s beautiful,” you sniffed, tears swelling in your eyes and spilling over the edge as they built up. Your wife squeezed your shoulder, and a drop landing just shy of your collarbone told you that she was crying too.

“He’s ours.” You cradled the baby boy—your baby boy—in your arms as he drank from your breast. “I still can’t believe they did it.” You let out a watery chuckle in response.

-

When Fury approached the two of you after he “accidentally” overheard your and Natasha’s conversation about having kids, you weren’t sure how to react. It was no secret among SHIELD that the two of you were together. In fact, you two had become somewhat of the organization’s power couple immediately after the many rumors claiming you were together were proven to be true. Still, the thought of all their best scientists working together just to give you two a biological child seemed a bit extreme, especially since the two of you did want to adopt someday. Nat, being the overprotective partner she was, was ready to launch herself at Fury, but you managed to pull her back before any real harm was done (Nat later got her revenge, and she made sure Fury didn’t tell you about it; she ended up confessing when you caught her looking just a bit too happy the next day though). The two of you had many long nights of talking over his offer, and before you knew it, you were pregnant with your first child, a child that would be biologically related to you and Natasha.

You guys had spent many nights talking about what your baby might look like, whether they’d have your laugh or her athleticism, your humor or her determination. Nat hoped they would be all you, while you could easily say the opposite.

When it came time to find out the baby’s sex, it took some serious convincing on Natasha’s part to get you to agree. In her mind, having a baby was surprise enough; she had to remind herself everyday that you really were pregnant with your child, her child. She did not need another surprise when the baby came. She wanted to be prepared, and who could blame her? You, on the other hand, wanted to wait. It was just the sex, after all. That didn’t change the preparations much. Nevertheless, after some bribery and more talking, you reluctantly agreed to learn the sex before the baby was born.

Hearing the words “it’s a boy” sent both of you into a tizzy. Nat wasn’t expecting it, and neither were you. Sure, there was a 50% chance of having a boy, but both of you were just so sure that it was a girl. After getting the doctor to check for the third time, you finally accepted that you were wrong.

Then came the discussion of names. What to name him, should he have a nickname, what would he call your friends and family?

One night, you took Natasha out for a walk around the park (this was before you got so big you couldn’t see your own feet) and a nice dinner on the waterfront. With the lights forming a halo around her already glowing face, you told her what you wanted the baby to be named: Igor. The minute you found the name, you knew it was perfect, and when you found out it was Russian and meant “warrior,” well, that was just icing on the cake.

“I’ve already got one Russian warrior who I love and adore more than words can express, and I can’t wait to have another. You’re everything I love and everything I want him to be. I think that’s what his name should be. And I know that, with a mom as perfect as you, he’ll live up to it.” You barely had time to get those last few words out before Natasha leaped over the table, silverware clinking and glasses wobbling as she lunged to pull your face into her hands, the two of you melting at the lips and forgetting about all the other patrons eating around you.

“I love you more than you know,” Natasha let out between breaths, finally letting you go.

“I have a feeling I do,” you giggled, “because I love you more.”

“Impossible.”

“Nuh uh.”

“Yeah huh.” You two “argued” about that for the rest of the night.

Then came the nursery. Nat insisted that you only be allowed to help in designing. You were already seven months along, she said, and that was seven too many. Plus, she pointed out with a not-so-subtle wink, she didn’t need help when she had “guns as big as these.” With some not-so-gentle persuasion from Clint, you settled on a farm-themed nursery. Less than a week later, Clint had gone out to god-knows-how-many stores and came back with more than enough decorations and furniture to fill the baby’s room, the many leftovers spilling out into the hallways and even your bedroom (much to his dismay, you made him return more than half of what he bought). The nursery was completed within weeks, and then all the two of you had to do was wait for your little bundle of joy to arrive.

-

Insistent ringing from Natasha’s phone pulled the two of you out of your peaceful moment.

“It’s Fury,” Natasha huffed playfully. “He’s asking if ‘the gross part is over yet.’ You ready to show him off to the world?”

“My world is all right here,” you murmured, fully sincere in what you were saying.

“As is mine.” The redhead’s finger lifted your chin up, your gaze shifting from your little boy to the prettiest woman in the universe. “I’m the luckiest woman in the world.”

“I tell myself that every day,” you smiled, meeting her lips in a sweet kiss.

---

“Nat! Come quick! Hurry! I think he’s going to do it!”

“I’m coming, I’m coming,” your wife responded with equal urgency. “You going to do it, Igoryok? You going to walk for Mamas?” The baby boy giggled, nothing but pure glee on his face as he pushed himself to stand. You held out your arms to your son, cooing words of encouragement as he stumbled his way towards you. He started maybe only four feet away, but when he finally made it to you, you swung him into the air and you and Nat cheered like he had just finished first in the 400 metres at the Olympics. You could’ve sworn your life couldn’t get any better than it was at that point, safe, happy, and healthy with the two people you loved most in the world right by your side.

“Did you get it on video, Natty?”

“Of course, malyshka. Such a big milestone needs to be kept forever, isn’t that right, Igoryok?” Igor laughed when the redhead reached over and tickled him just under his chin. The two of you soon joined in, his joyous giggles impossible to resist.

-

“You’re an amazing mother,” Nat murmured to you that night as the two of you laid in bed. “And you’re raising an amazing son. I love you.” She tilted her head down to meet your lips.

“I love you too, Nat, but you’re also raising an amazing son. I couldn’t have done any of this without you.” She nodded slowly, reluctantly. “What is it?”

“I just… Being here today with you and Igor, it was perfect. Everything was perfect. And I hate how I have to throw us out of that every time I leave.” You frowned as you turned onto your stomach, pushing yourself up on one arm and using the other hand to cup Nat’s face.

“You’re not the only one working, you know. I feel that way too, every time I have to go on a mission or even just leave for the office.”

“I know,” she sighed. “But I’m gone so much more often than you are. Especially now that you’ve switched to mostly training others.”

“Just because you’re not here all the time doesn’t make you a bad mom, Tash. You’re the best mom because you love him with all of your heart and you’ll do anything for him. And-“

“I want to retire.”

“What?” Out of all the things that could’ve come out of Nat’s mouth, that was not the one you were expecting or prepared for.

“I wanna be there when he says his first words and when he loses his first tooth and when he goes to school for the first time. I want to be here.”

“But… you love your job.”

“I know,” she whispered, her eyes shining. “But I love Igor more.”

“And Igor will know that. Igor already knows that. Sweetheart, part of doing anything for Igor includes protecting him from bad guys. You do that every day you go to work. You show him you love him by fighting to give him the best life possible. If you want to retire,” your hand finally slid down from her cheek to hold her hand, “then I will support you every step of the way. But if you’re doing this because you think you’re a bad mother if you don’t, then you need to know that that is not true at all.” Natasha bit her lip as she thought over what you said. You gave her the time she needed, rubbing small circles into the back of her hand.

You would be lying if you said you never had those same thoughts. Both of you felt awful every time you had to hand Igor over to one of the nanny or even one of the Avengers or their families. The two of you loved them and Igor loved them, and they always took amazing care of him, but it was hard to not feel bad knowing your child wanted nothing more than to be in your arms. The first time Igor wailed as you handed him over to Laura, you filled out all the retirement paperwork the next day, keeping it on your desk for weeks before you eventually talked yourself out of it.

Just as Natasha was opening her mouth to respond, she was interrupted by Igor’s cries from the baby monitor.

“I’ll get him,” your wife reassured you. You nodded reluctantly, not wanting to stop the conversation but knowing you’d have to regardless of who left.

---

“Guess who’s coming home today, buddy?” Igor babbled random syllables back at you, grabbing onto your hair as you lifted him out of his crib. “Gentle, Igor, gentle,” you winced, slowly pulling his hands away from your locks. Sounds from downstairs had you looking away from Igor and towards the hallway.

“That must be Mama!” You weren’t too sure if he understood you, but he definitely fed off of your excitement, letting out another string of syllables and clapping his hands together.

“Hellooo! Anybody home?” Natasha’s red hair was the first thing you saw as you rounded the corner to see the front door. “Hi, rybka! How are you doing?” Your boy held his hands out to Natasha, obviously excited to see her. She grinned back at the two of you, but both of your eyes grew wide when he opened his mouth.

“Mama!” With that one word, you could’ve sworn your heart stopped beating. Nat’s eyes met yours, the love she felt for you and your son overflowing in the form of crystal droplets that filled her green orbs.

“That’s right, Igor, Mama. Can you give Mama a kiss?” You smiled as you handed Igor to Nat, your little boy puckering his lips dramatically to plant a wet kiss on her cheek.

“Thank you, Igoryok,” the redhead laughed. “He said ‘Mama,’ Y/N. His first word! He called me ‘mama.’” She was smiling so hard her cheeks were practically trembling.

“Because you are his mama. The best mama in the whole wide world,” you murmured, kissing her other cheek.

“No one could ever be as good as you. I love you so much, malyshka.”

“I love you too.”

“Mama!” The two of you laughed once again, your intimate moment interrupted but neither of you could complain.

“How was the mission?” you asked, both of you somewhat preoccupied with the bouncing babe in Nat’s arms.

“Good. Clean.”

“No injuries?”

“Not even a bruise.” You scanned her face and body to see if she was lying, and eventually nodded once you were satisfied.

“Good. Now, I believe it is someone’s dinner time.”

---

“Hi, Igoryok, how was school?”

“Hi, Mama. It was good. We learned about the letter ‘m’ today. Mama, did you know ‘m’ goes ‘mm’?”

“It does? I thought it sounded different.”

“No, Mama, you’re silly. Your name starts with an ‘m.’”

“Huh, I think you’re right. Did you know that, babe? Mama starts with an ‘m,’” Natasha winked at you.

“No, I didn’t know that, but thank you for sharing that with me,” you smiled back. “You're not going to say hi to me, Iggy?”

“Hi, Mom. Your name starts with ‘m’ too.” Igor bent over the center console in between the two of you. “Can we get ice cream? Please?” Your wife laughed before turning to you.

“I’m not too sure what that has to do with letters, but what do you say, Mom?” Nat asked, a smirk on her face as she emphasized the first letter.

“Um, it does because…” The two of you watched, amused, as Igor’s face scrunched up in concentration. Suddenly, he lit up, a grin overtaking his expression. “It does because ice cream starts with an “i”! And my name starts with an “i” too, Mamas. Which means I should get some ice cream.” He paused for a moment upon seeing the two of you glance at him expectantly. “Please?”

“You’re very right, Ig,” you smiled. “And for that, we can go get ice cream. But I thought you would’ve wanted to go to the park. We brought your bike.”

“You did?” His baby-tooth grin only grew when he turned to see the lime green metal and black handlebars peeking out of the trunk. “Yes! Mama, c’mon, let’s go!”

“You need to buckle up, Igoryok, or we’re not going anywhere.” The four-year-old rushed to his car seat. The minute he was settled, he began squirming again.

“Can we still get ice cream after?”

“Sure, Iggy,” you laughed. Nat removed her right hand from the steering wheel and rested it on your thigh.

“Alright, let’s go.”

-

“Mama, you took the training wheels off, right?”

“Yep,” your wife grunted, lifting the bike out of the car and placing it on the pavement.

“Mom, watch me! I’m going to ride it all by myself! Today’s the day, I can feel it!” You managed to grab him by the shoulders just before he could hop on the bike.

“Not so fast, what are you forgetting, buddy?”

“Uh, a positive attitude?”

“That’s important, but I think you have plenty of that right now,” you smiled. “Try again.” Igor bit his lip as he thought about what he could possibly be missing.

“I love you?”

“I love you too, but still not it. You remember this?” He groaned when he saw the helmet in your hands.

“I don’t need it, Mom. I won’t fall, I promise!”

“I like that promise, but I still need you to promise to wear this. Okay?”

“But I don’t want to,” he pouted, crossing his arms over his chest. Your wife bent down to reach Igor’s eye level.

“Igoryok, can I tell you a secret?” Igor’s tresses bounced as he turned his gaze to Nat, his eyes filled with skepticism. “Well, you know how Mama wears her helmet whenever she goes out on her bike? You wanna know why I do it?”

“Why?” he asked, his skepticism fading into intrigue.

“It helps me balance and makes me go faster. I can’t ride as well as I do without it. In fact, I think I might even fall off.”

“Really? But you’re so good, Mama!” Eyes closed, Nat shook her head.

“Only with my helmet. And only when I wear it correctly. Otherwise I’d fall right off and get hurt. So can you promise to wear your helmet correctly so that you go faster and don’t fall off?”

“Okay, Mama. Can you put it on for me though? I think you’ll do it better.”

“I’d love to, Igoryok.” You flashed Nat a grateful smile as she took the helmet from you to secure it on his head. “Alright, all set. You go get warmed up, yeah?”

“Okay, Mama, but hurry up!”

“I’ll be there in a second, rybka.” Natasha stood up and wrapped an arm around your waist. “Don’t let him see me riding the motorcycle when I’m on a mission.” You stifled a laugh, letting your head rest on her shoulder as you watched Igor waddle around on his bike, his sneakers lighting up every time they hit the pavement.

“I’ll try my best. Have I told you how good of a mother you are?”

“Yes, you have. Multiple times.” You didn’t have to look at Nat to know her cheeks were quickly becoming the same shade as her hair. “I just hope he’ll be this easy to convince when he’s not four.”

“We’ll, uh, cross that bridge when we get to it. Besides, it’s a little easier to convince him when he sees you as his hero.”

“Stop with the flattery,” the spy groaned, now extremely flustered.

“But you make it so easy. And so fun.” You squealed immediately after the last word and pulled yourself away from your wife. “Why’d you poke me?”

“Don’t act all innocent, you know exactly what you did.”

“I’m not acting innocent, I am innocent.”

“Are you now?” Natasha stalked towards you, a smirk on her lips and a mischievous glint in her eye. Before she could reach you, though, Igor pushed his way in between the two of you with his bike.

“C’mon, Mama! I warmed up!” With one last glance at you, Natasha sighed.

“Alright, let’s go, Igoryok. You just watch your back, babe. I’ll get you.”

“Ooo, Mom’s in troubleee,” Igor chanted, and with that, they were off.

-

“Mom! Look at me! I’m going to get it on this one, I can feel it!”

“I’m watching!” you promised despite having never taken your eyes off of Igor and Natasha the whole time. Igor flashed you a grin in response before putting his feet on the pedals. Natasha murmured something in his ear as he started pedaling. She had one hand on the handlebars and one on his back to keep him steady. The pair moved together for a few seconds until Igor began to speed up. Half-running, half-jogging, your wife finally let go of the bike with a firm push to your son’s back, and much to everyone’s delight, he kept going.

“Mom! I’m doing it! I’m really doing it!”

“Pay attention to what’s in front of you, Igoryok!” Natasha called when he began to swerve. Eyes wide, Igor managed to correct himself before he crashed into a tree. You got up from the bench and ran to meet the former assassin, but you kept your eyes on Igor the whole time.

“I guess this family has two biker babes now.”

“I guess we do. Look at him go, malyshka.” Her chest was puffed out, obviously proud of her son, his tongue poking out of his mouth slightly as he concentrated on turning around. Your eyes shot open when it seemed like he was going to fall, but he regained his balance and increased his speed twofold on his return to you. “Maybe we should try for another.”

“What?”

“Another, uh, what’d you call it? A biker babe?” Natasha barked out a laugh as you moved to slap her shoulder. “I mean, Igor’s been asking for a sibling for a while now. Maybe it’s time.” Natasha maintained her glance on your son, too nervous to meet your eyes.

“Another biker babe, huh? Or maybe another little fish?”

“Another rybka, yes,” Nat chuckled.

“Maybe it is time.” The former assassin’s shoulders relaxed as you slipped your hand into hers. “A girl this time?”

“We’ll see. It is what Igor’s been asking for, but...” A smirk played on your wife’s face as she remembered when you two first learned you’d be having a son.

“Natasha Jr.?”

“Oh god, no!” your wife laughed.

“Natalia? Natalie?” Natasha buried her face in your neck so that her lips were pressed to your shoulder. She still peeked out slightly to keep an eye on your son.

“Babe, we are not naming the baby after me.”

“What about for her middle name?” Your wife groaned as she hit your arm, but you could feel her lips curving upward.

“No.” Natasha paused, her lower lip stuck between her teeth. “What do you think about Karolina? It means ‘free man.’”

“Karolina,” you repeated. You would’ve teased her about already having a name picked out, but the constant shifting of her right foot told you this maybe wasn’t the right time. “I like it.”

With Igor quickly approaching, you ended the conversation with a peck to Nat’s cheek and bent down to greet your son. When he made it to the two of you, he immediately hopped off of the bike and ran into your open arms.

“I did it, Mom! Did you see me? I turned around too!”

“I did, Iggy! You did so, so good!” You pulled the boy onto your hip. “Don’t tell Mama, but I think you might’ve gone even faster than her.” Igor giggled, wrapping his arms around your neck.

“You think so?” he whispered.

“I know so.”

“Ahem, what are you two saying?” Nat had her hands on her hips as her foot tapped the ground, this time out of fake anger rather than nerves.

“Nothing, Mama. Did you see me? I did good, right? And my helmet helped me stay on!”

“I’m very proud of you, Igoryok. Both Mom and I are,” she murmured, tilting her head to avoid the helmet and kiss his cheek. “So now that you know your helmet is good, you have to promise us to wear it whenever you go on your bike, you got it?”

“Got it.” His locks bounced as he nodded his head. “I’m going to go again, okay, Mamas? And then later we can get ice cream?”

“You got it, bud.” You let him down, his legs wiggling before he reached the ground. The second he hit the surface, he was off.

---

You cherished every time you got to see Igor hit a milestone. You and Nat had each missed some—like you being away the day he scored his first soccer goal or Nat going on a mission during his first Halloween—but when you did, the other made sure to talk about it in so much detail you felt like you were there.

And when you were all there together… Your heart filled with pride whenever Igor did something new, but that feeling was nothing in comparison to seeing your son’s pride in himself and having Nat there next to you to experience it. Each milestone of Igor’s was so much better than you could’ve ever imagined because, with each one, you got to see your little boy growing, thriving. For each new accomplishment, you could feel the love between the three of you, practically pull it out of the air, make a cocoon out of it, and wrap yourself in it for weeks on end. Your little boy’s milestones weren’t just for himself, but it was for your family as a whole, the three of you growing closer and stronger with each step. You couldn’t wait to see what he would do next.

-----

Read Chapter 2 here

[just-another-blog-of-fluff]

A Difficult Question

Word count: 3000

Warnings: continued second-hand embarrassment? 😉 tickling, fluff as always

This is in response to a prompt from @sigyn-laufeyson0609 for a sequel to An Embarrassing Secret. Thanks for the idea friend! 😊 I snuck in a little soft Loki toward the end, just to switch things up a little!

* * *

You had avoided Loki for a solid week after he had revealed he knew about your blog. Although he didn’t seem to find it as strange as you’d have expected him to, you couldn’t help but feel a little exposed. Your writing wasn’t something you’d intended to show anyone, much less the tall, handsome, alien god who made you feel giddy every time he said your name.

Despite your concern that he would tell the others, no one else so much as breathed a word about your little secret. Either they were too kind to say anything for fear of embarrassing you, or he truly hadn’t told anyone else. You hoped it was the latter, although you supposed it couldn’t get any worse than Loki finding out.

You couldn’t avoid him forever, though. The first time you ran into him, other than those brief moments in passing where you ducked your head or turned the other way, you were sitting in the library again, this time actually reading something rather than typing on your laptop. (No way were you risking leaving that out in public again…) Loki had entered the library without your knowledge, having been engrossed in the novel you were reading while sitting in one of the comfortable armchairs. A sudden squeeze to your side alerted you to his presence, causing you to jolt and whip your head around to find the god smirking down at you. He shot you a wink before continuing on to browse the shelves.

Somehow, that brief interaction had eased your anxiety around him. You didn’t really want to stay away from him, after all. And it seemed like he was going to treat the whole situation as a game, which in a strange way made you feel better about the whole situation. You would much rather he use this little secret for some lighthearted flirting versus making a big show about it.

So, you went back to your usual routines, no longer trying to shy away from him. He rewarded you with the occasional poke to the side while passing by you in the hallway, or a quick pinch to the soft skin above your knee during movie night with the team. And, maybe, you started trying to provoke him a little more. Doing little irritating things like stealing the last cookie right from under his nose or changing the channel during one of the rare moments he was actually watching something on the television usually earned you a couple extra scribbles to the belly, or a fluttering of fingers to the neck.

It never lasted longer than a couple seconds at most, though. Most of the time that was plenty for you, just long enough to make your heart beat faster with adrenaline and for heat to prickle in your cheeks.

But not today.

No, today you were really in the mood to be tickled senseless. You were even making sarcastic comments to some of the other Avengers, hoping that someone might just decide they’d had enough of your sass. Although no one else knew you actually enjoyed it, everyone was aware that you were more ticklish than the average person. It was uncommon for the others to take advantage of it, but on rare occasions Thor or Tony would dig their fingers into your ribs to get you to stop talking if you were being particularly annoying. Today, though, no one was getting the hint.

You didn’t see Loki until later that evening, when you stumbled across him in the common room. He was alone, sitting on the couch with his back leaned up against the cushions and his feet up on the coffee table. He had a book in his hand, which he seemed pretty focused on, turning a page every few seconds as his eyes skimmed across the aging pages.

“You’re hovering again,” he observed suddenly, never once lifting his gaze from his book. Startled, you left your position from the doorway and entered the room, taking a seat on the other side of the couch.

“I’ll never understand how you know people are there without even seeing them,” you marveled.

“I’ve told you before – it’s impossible to sneak up on me.”

“Well maybe I’ll be the first someday.” You sat back against the couch, and silence blanketed the room, save for the occasional crinkling of the pages of Loki’s book as he continued to read. You realized that this would be the perfect opportunity to try to provoke the Asgardian to tickle you – you were alone in the common room, and he seemed to be in a state of focus where he would be pretty irritated if you broke his concentration.

You wanted to be subtle, though. You wouldn’t want him to think you were asking for it, after all, and as he was the only person who knew about your secret, you figured he would see through you pretty quickly if you tried too hard. So, you started simple by leaning forward and picking up the remote from the coffee table, turning on the television. You found a program he had previously expressed disinterest in and set the channel to that, settling back against the couch cushions, and turning up the volume.

Loki was silent despite all of this, so you stole a glance in his direction. His brow was furrowed a little, but his gaze was still fixed on the pages of his novel. Need to try harder, you thought to yourself. You cranked up the volume a little more and laughed a little extra loud at every joke. After trying this for a few minutes, you risked another glance in his direction.

Nothing. Not even a flinch.

You were starting to get a little desperate. The desire for someone to tickle you had settled itself like a flame in your belly, and it had been slowly building all day long. But you were too proud, too embarrassed to just come out and ask for it. You had to find another way.

You turned your body so you were leaning back against the arm of the couch and stretched your legs out across the couch cushions, your feet only inches away from Loki’s leg. This time, you didn’t even chance looking over at him, knowing he wouldn’t try anything if he thought you were expecting it. You sat still for a maddening amount of time without finding any success in your attempts. You stretched one leg out a little further and tapped his leg with your foot.

Nothing.

You tried again, this time with a little more force. At long last, the trickster looked up from his book to glare at you.

“Can I help you?” he asked, his tone flat.

“Uhh… no, sorry,” you replied quickly. He turned his attention back to his book, and you turned back to the TV, feeling a bit deflated. Your mood was still gnawing at your insides, though, and you weren’t quite ready to give up just yet.

You waited a few moments, trying to think of another way to get on his nerves. Maybe you just needed to try a different angle.

“So… watcha reading?” you inquired.

“Shakespeare,” he stated without looking up.

“Oh. That’s really old though, isn’t it?”

“’Old’ is a relative term. What you consider ‘old’ is actually quite new for someone my age.”

“Right. Because you’re old too,” you snickered. This got him to look up at you again finally.

“Pardon?” he asked, his eyes narrowing.

“Well, like you said, ‘old’ is relative. So, compared to me, you’re really old.” You held his gaze, a triumphant grin threatening to spread across your face.

“Yes, I am ‘old’ compared to you I suppose. And yet, you still seem to like what you see.”

Your face flushed hot.

“I- well- that’s not… never mind,�� you huffed, turning away from him once again. You heard his book snap shut, the cover making a small thumping sound as he set it down on the table.

“You seem a bit off today. Is there something with which you require assistance?” You glanced up to find his blue-green eyes fixed on you. It was difficult to read his expression – he wasn’t annoyed, but he wasn’t overtly amused, either.

“What? No. Why do you ask?”

“Well, you’re watching a television show you and I both know you hate, laughing loudly and turning the volume up, and just generally trying to capture my attention,” he listed. “If I didn’t know any better, I would assume you were trying to get me to tickle you.”

“W-what!? Pshh. That’s… that’s ridiculous,” you stammered, folding your arms defiantly across your chest. “Just because I don’t mind it doesn’t mean I would ask for it.”

“I see.” Loki sat back against the couch again, picking up his novel and reopening it to his bookmarked page. “So, you won’t mind if I go back to reading in peace, then?”

“Nope,” you affirmed, popping the P for emphasis. You leaned back into your seat once again, your arms still crossed. You changed the channel to another show you were more interested in so you could try to forget about this whole thing by distracting yourself.

Once again, the room fell silent, with the exception of the voices on the television and the flipping of Loki’s book pages. Your heart sank deeper in your chest in disappointment. You almost had him there – why did he have to go and ruin it by observing out loud that you wanted to be tickled?

“Honestly, y/n, you look as if someone put something sour in your drink,” Loki said finally, placing his book back on the coffee table.

“I’m fine,” you insisted flatly, refusing to look at him.

“I’ve told you before – if you want me to tickle you, all you have to do is ask.” You observed him in your peripheral vision, your stomach swooping at the mischievous gleam in his eyes.

“No,” you stated.

“No? No what? No, you don’t want me to tickle you? Or no, you refuse to ask?”

“Just… no.” You pulled your feet closer to your body, sitting crisscross on the couch with your arms still folded across your torso. Loki chuckled, a smirk tugging at his lips.

“You sound like a petulant child.”

“Do not!” you argued. Loki didn’t respond – he merely held his hand out at you, silently noting that you’d proven his point. You huffed and turned away from him, pretending to turn your focus back to the television.

“I know exactly what you’re trying to do, darling,” he sang, scooting closer to you on the couch. “You are hoping to provoke me sufficiently to make me retaliate and tickle you. You’ve been doing so since you saw me from the doorway. Don’t try to deny it.”

Heat was crawling up your neck into your cheeks again, and you squeezed your mouth shut, shaking your head defiantly. He shuffled a bit closer, now only inches away from you. “I’m sorry to tell you, dear, but you’re going to have to ask me properly.” You let out an involuntary groan at that, your heart pounding at the sheer proximity of the god beside you. “Use your words, darling. What is it that you want?”

Your resolve was breaking. This whole exchange was only enhancing your lee mood, and he’d made it clear that you wouldn’t get anything out of him without actually coming out and asking for it bluntly. It was difficult to form the words in your mouth.

“I… erm… could you… uh…”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t quite catch that,” he teased, his smirk broadening.

“Could you… would you, maybe… couldyoutickleme?” The words finally came tumbling out of your mouth, and as soon as you said it you found yourself pinned down on the couch, the god of mischief hovering over you with a victorious smirk on his face.

“Now, y/n, was that really so difficult?” Before you had the chance to tell him exactly how difficult it was, he cut you off by digging his fingers into your ribcage. He knew it was a weaker spot, drawing rambunctious laughter from you as you grasped his wrists. You weren’t really making any effort to try to push him away, of course, but it gave you something to do with your hands. “For someone who wanted this so badly, you’re making it exceedingly difficult with your incessant squirming.”

“I cahahan’t help ihihit!!” you exclaimed, arching your back as his fingers darted down to your belly. He wouldn’t give you the chance to get accustomed to one spot, quickly moving to scribble into your sides or drill his thumbs into your hips. It was exactly what you’d been hoping would happen all day today, and yet still you could barely handle it as ticklish shocks wracked through your body.

“Let’s see, now – where else are you ticklish? I don’t have your little narratives open for reference this time, so I suppose I’m going to have to find out for myself,” he pondered aloud, tone laced with mischief. “Ah! How about here?” Loki slipped his fingers under your arms, causing you to clamp them down to your sides. That didn’t stop him, though, continuing to vibrate his fingers into your uppermost ribs. The sensation made you shriek, throwing your head back and laughing with abandon.

“Nohoho Loki! Not there!” you cried, feebly pulling at his wrists as much as you could with your arms pressed to your sides.

“No? On the contrary, dear, I think it’s a perfectly effective spot.” You twisted involuntarily, accidentally rolling off the couch and face first onto the floor with a thud. Loki was at your side in a flash, kneeling beside you with a hand on your shoulder. “Are you alright?”

“Y-yehehes,” you giggled, heart fluttering at the idea that he was so concerned about you possibly being hurt. You turned to roll onto your back to look up at him, but he pressed down on your shoulder, holding you in place.

“Where do you think you’re going?” he asked ominously, his fingers moving to dig into your ribcage with renewed vigor. Not being able to see his hands was so much better worse. You tried desperately to roll onto your side but each time he would shift both hands to the newly exposed side, forcing you to roll back onto your stomach to protect the sensitive skin there. “Shall I ‘go in for the kill’ as they say?”

“No! Don’t! Anything but that!” you pleaded, although you both knew your heart wasn’t really in it.

“Sorry, darling, but as I recall, you did ask for this.” With that, his fingertips scribbled into that wretched spot on the back of your upper ribs. You kicked your feet against the floor in ticklish agony, your laughter pitching up an octave. Before long, your laughter grew silent, prompting him to ease up on you and scratch lightly at your sides. You turned to roll onto your back, and he allowed it this time, chuckling at your disheveled state. You took a moment to catch your breath, chest heaving with exertion, and you twitched occasionally when his fingertips found an extra sensitive spot on your side.

Loki’s fingers stilled against your sides, and you frowned up at him, feeling a sense of loss without his touch. He laughed heartily at that, a genuine smile spreading across his lips.

“Silly girl, was that not enough for you? Do you need me to continue?” Before waiting for your answer, he reached down and fluttered his fingers behind both knees. You squealed in surprise, giggles spilling from your lips. Loki sat on your shins to avoid any accidental kicks to the face, shifting to knead at the soft skin just above your knee on your inner thigh. You hadn’t anticipated just how unbearably ticklish that spot could be.

“Wait wait wahahait!! Stahahap!!” you cried, trying desperately to yank your legs out from under the Asgardian.

“Ah, I see I’ve identified a new– what do you call it? ‘Death spot’?”

Your laughter was growing hoarse, and Loki took this as his cue to let up again, getting up off your legs and kneeling beside you. You were exhausted, but the endorphins coursing through your veins made you feel giddy.

“That… that was mean,” you said breathlessly.

“I’ll remind you once again, you asked for it,” he retorted.

Loki stood up and offered you a hand to help you off the floor, which you gratefully accepted. You stood there awkwardly for a moment, not certain what to say. For the first time, you noticed Loki was also at a loss for words; his hand moved to the back of his neck, and he glanced around the room, uncertainty in his eyes.

On a whim (or maybe it was just the residual adrenaline, you’ll never know) you leaned forward and wrapped your arms around the bewildered god in front of you.

“Thanks, Loki,” you whispered into his shoulder. He stood frozen for a moment before finally sliding his arms around you as well, squeezing you tight.

“Anytime, love,” he replied, his voice low and gruff, softer than you’d ever heard him speak. You hugged him for another moment before releasing the trickster and hurrying off to your room, hoping to hide away before you could say anything to ruin things.

And, you can bet, you would be doing some more writing tonight.

Part 3: A Cozy Evening

[repressedqueen]

New Year’s Secret

Paring: Bucky Barnes x reader

Word count:  ~4.300

Warnings: sickening floofy fluff, drinking, the tiniest of angst, drunk Bucky is super dorky and adorable you’ve been warned

Summary: Bucky attends his first New Year’s party in modern times. He gets drunk for the first time post serum which had some rather unexpected consequences.

A/N: Who else would post a New Year fic in April but me? :’D I blame working shifts during the pandemic and totally not my procrastinative nature! This came out of nowhere one of the last days of December and was supposed to be a quick one-shot, but the words kept coming and coming. I’ve never written a bigger one shot! I hope you guys give it chance, it’s real cute I’m telling you. This is the softest Bucky, I have him protected in a special place in my heart forever. <3

Recommended to read in AO3 for way less typos.

“This is so weird.” Sam said when Bucky threw his head back laughing at yet another one of his jokes. Bucky never laughed at his jokes, not even the ones he knew he actually found funny. The best he got out of him was an eye roll. Turns out all that was needed was a little bit of Thor’s Asgardian beverage.

This wasn’t your first New Year party at the Avengers compound, but it was the first time Thor was around and he didn’t forget to bring some of special drinks for his two super soldier friends who couldn’t get drunk with good old Earth alcohol. Steve was ecstatic about his best friend finally trying it and let loose, have actual fan. Bucky hardly ever came to parties, they made him anxious. Even when he did, he always kept to himself, barely interacting with anyone but Steve, at first, you and Sam as time went by and you got closer.

However you were a little hesitant about the whole alien drink thing. Yes, alcohol usually helps one let their guards down and relax but it has different effects on different people. Some become moody, irritable or even depressed. And Bucky’s mind was very unpredictable for obvious reasons...

Turns out your worries were for nothing, since Bucky was having the time of his life. It was rather unexpected. Drunk Steve was still Steve with less Cap in him; more carefree and smiley. Bucky on the other hand was like a whole new person. 

He no longer seemed to want to disappear from the crowd; he talked to everyone he knew, he cracked jokes, even played pool with the guys (and got super frustrated when he lost from Sam. It was hilarious!).  It was so nice to see him have actual fan without constantly worrying that something could go wrong. You caught Steve looking at his best friend with the most tender expressiom on his face more than once that night; you knew it was because this was probably the closest Bucky has ever been to his pre-war self.

The most pleasant side effect however was that for most of the party he wouldn’t leave your side. He kept his metal hand around his fourth drink and his flesh one on you. The small of your back, your hand, around your shoulder... No matter what he did, he made sure you were somehow connected and, you couldn’t lie, it really was endearing. You tried so hard to not let it give you false hope though. We are friends. Just friends. you kept repeating in your head anytime your heart skipped a bit thanks to the continuous physical contact.

You and Bucky came really close really fast, but despite what most of the people thought, you were never more than friends. Yes, you had a strong bond, but never crossed the line of platonic.

You weren’t sure how and why that bond was formed. Maybe because you were already very close to Steve when Bucky came along? I mean, it was like you knew him before you even met him, through Steve’s stories. Maybe that is why you never truly feared him, unlike the other avengers…

So you kind of knew him, but he didn’t know you at all. Yet he trusted you. Maybe because Steve trusted you? You were the one who stayed with Bucky in Wakanda after he came out of cryo. You were the only person Steve trusted to stay with his very fragile friend while he adjusted to his new life, since he couldn’t constantly be there, being on the run and all. You already had experience dealing with one struggling super soldier from the 40s. Even though Bucky’s case was vastly different from Steve’s, he still believed you were the best for the job.

Those few months in Wakanda were some of the most difficult of your life. Constantly worrying about your closest friends being fugitives, not being able to talk to most of your other closest friends because you were hiding yourself and they were supposed to hunt you down, all while trying to be strong for Bucky.

You saw him at his absolute worst; in pain, in agony, dealing with ptsd, nightmares, anxiety, depression, memories consuming his mind and crushing his soul. So many things that would destroy the strongest person; yet Bucky survived. Thus you two came truly close, by being there for each other.

It was no easy task. But you wanted to do it. You wanted to help him more than anything, since you knew deep in your heart he deserved a second chance. So much were taken from him, a man who did nothing all his life but help those in need.

It had nothing to do with the fact that you liked him.

Yes, obviously you liked him! It took you a while to realize, and when you did, you assumed it was just a crush. He was extremely attractive, incredibly powerful yet very gentle and caring; who wouldn’t have a crush on him?

After two years of interacting you were fairly certain you were in love with him. The irony was that now you couldn’t do much about it. Bucky had become one of the most important people in your life and there is no way you would risk losing him.

Bucky loved you; you were certain about that. He was always there for you, even when you didn’t know you needed him. Super protective, very tender and remarkably sweet. Even at his worst days, he would never be harsh to you, ever.

Bucky also hated being touched, but you were the exception. Even Steve would hug him less frequently. It was so hard, because Bucky was touched starved and physically abused at the same time. He craved it and hated it all at once. You’ve developed this instinct of knowing when he needed the contact and when not. It mesmerized him.

You were definitely special to him, but was he in love with you? That you couldn’t tell. You weren’t even sure Bucky would let himself fall in love ever again. It is such a vulnerable place to be. You had decided to stop wondering, it only brought pain. Friends was what you had and it was beautiful.

You felt a pretty aggressive tap on your shoulder out of nowhere and you turn to find none other than Natasha looking at you, an enigmatic look on her face. “Emergency girls’ meeting. Get off your ass y/n.” You made an effort to, but in the mean time Bucky had decided to turn you into his personal pillow, resting half of his upper body on your lap making impossible for you to move.  

“Buck? Can you move a little bit for me please?” Hearing that, Bucky pushed himself up as quickly as his state allowed. You were fast to stand but he was faster to grab your hand. “Hey hey! Where do you think you are going doll?”

“The girls need me. I’ll see you soon.” You reassured him.

He made a pout and he looked at you like a disappointed puppy. “But you promised you wouldn’t leave my side all night...”

Wanda was waiting for you with a huge smile on her face.  They must have some good news you assumed. “So? What’s the emergency?” you asked.

You let out a defeated sigh. Truth was you had promised that in your attempt to convince him to attend this New Year’s party, unlike the previous ones.

"What if I promise I won’t be gone for long?"

“Hm... No." Bucky shook his head like a five-year old kid. It was freaking adorable.

"Buuuuck come oooon..." you begged.

"Hmmmm...Nope."

"I think I'm gonna throw up" Clint shamelessly mocked the corny scene taking place in front of him and you couldn't help but laugh.

"Just for two minutes? Pretty please?" your last attempt.

"Uhm, okay. But no more than that." he finally backed out.

"No more than that." you smiled reassuringly.

"You promise?" those puppy eyes were back and you melted on the inside.

"I promise Buck." You turned to leave but his strong grip on your hand kept you in the same spot.

"Bucky. The hand."

"What hand?" He tilted his head, puzzled.

"MY hand!” You shook it trying to get his attention there. “You are still holding it."

"Oh right. Your hand..." his thumb drew small circles on your skin. "So soft..." he was talking more to himself than you.

"Thank you honey, but you have to let it go now..."

"Right." and he did, but not before leaving a chaste kiss on your knuckles.

You followed Nat, ignoring your heart nearly jumping out of your chest.

“It’s you who needs to tell us.” Nat lifted an eyebrow.

“Spill the beans y/n!” Wanda nearly hopped in excitement.

“What beans? What are you two talking about?” you were utterly confused.

“Y/n. Stop playing dam.” Nat was now serious.

“I’m not playing anything! I just don’t understand what you mean.” The two girls shared a look and Wanda nodded for some reason.

Nat looked you dead in the eyes. “Did you sleep with Barnes?”

“WHAT?!” your jaw dropped. “No! The fuck are you talking about?”

Nat just rolled her eyes. “He has been all over you all night. Something must have changed.” Wanda explained, the hopeful bright smile never leaving her face.

The girls knew about your feelings for Bucky. Nat was great at reading people and Wanda, well she could literally read minds.  Although she tried to avoid it, sometimes it just slipped. They were your closest friends, so you didn’t mind. They were extremely supportive, always there for you. In fact, they were positive Bucky felt the same way and spent the last few months encouraging you to make a move, even though you made it pretty clear it would never happen.

“Nothing changed girls. He is just super drunk, that’s all.”

“Most of us are drunk y/n.” Nat pointed out.

“Well not for the first time in 70 years we aren’t.”

“He may be drunk but he is wrapped around you, nobody else, just saying...” she insisted and Wanda winked at you.

“Nat!” you cut her off so abruptly they both seemed a little taken aback. You took a slow deep breath to keep yourself calm. “Look girls… I know you are only trying to help and I appreciate that, I really do. But giving me false hope isn’t the way. Bucky and I are just friends and this is all we gonna be. I have accepted that. So let’s just not turn this into something that it isn’t, okay? Bucky got drunk, his need for affection came through. That’s all.”

“That doesn’t mean anything; we are just closer I guess.” you shrugged.

“How closer is the question-”

Wanda nodded, her previously jazzed smile was now a sympathetic one. Nat wasn’t looking at you as much as at someone behind you and the corner of her mouth moved upwards before mumbling an  “Okay.” in a tone you couldn’t read.

At that moment you felt a pair of  arms, one warm, the other icy cold, wrapping around your waste and a head resting on your shoulder. You instinctively enveloped his fore arms in yours.

“Time is up doll.” Bucky announced.  The girls shared a sneaky look but neither of them said a word. You just rolled your eyes and turned around to Bucky.

“Uh oh... Am I in trouble?” you asked playfully.

“Very much so.” he nodded once trying to look very serious but that goofy smile wouldn’t leave his face.

“Oops. Should I be scared Sergeant Barnes?”

“You should. Nobody gets away with lying to me. Not even the most beautiful girl in the room.” Bucky smirked and you felt all the blood rushing to your cheeks.

“Ooookay I think someone had too much to drink. Vision is clearly compromised.” you chuckled.

“Sh sh sh!” Bucky rested his index finger on your lips shushing you and his eyes wondered upwards as if listening to something.

The cheerful holiday songs had been replaced by retro 40’s music, something Tony did every year in honor of the two oldest Avengers. His whole face lit up when he realized. “Let’s dance! Nat, go grab Stevie.”

“On it.” the redhead complied, shooting you with one last playful wink.

Bucky took a step towards the dance floor but you stopped him. “Bucky no! We never dance, remember? It’s our thing.” It was true, Bucky hated the attention and you… Well you were terrible at it! Despite your friends telling you that was an overstatement, you only danced in your bathrobe in the privacy of your bedroom.

“Not tonight doll. Bucky Barnes was the best dancer in Brooklyn! Time to prove it.” He raised a brow cockily. “And I know you got some good moves yourself.”

Bucky had once sneaked into your room after hearing loud music and enjoyed a good two minutes of you going at it with Uptown Funk playing in the background, before you realized he was there. To say you were pissed was an understatement.

You didn’t move so he had to drag you to the dance floor. “But I don’t know how to swing Buck!” You searched for a savior in the crown to only meet Steve’s eyes having the same desperate expression as yours.

“That’s okay doll, I’ll show you.”

And he did.

At first you were all wobbly and insecure, second guessing your every move, but Bucky’s excitement was infectious. He was indeed a great dancer! Music flowed through his movements perfectly. He twisted you around and lifted you effortlessly. What really got you though was the sheer joy in his eyes; it lifted your spirit and gave you confidence to try new things. At some point you even tried the jumping over his shoulders thing, which had the crowd cheering.

You couldn’t remember the last time you had so much fan at a party. In the end you were all sweaty and punting, yet you didn’t wanna stop.

That was the perfect moment for the playlist to turn into blues.  Everybody stopped to their feet and pairs started forming. Bucky offered his hand; your palm rested on his and he drew you close to him, wrapping his metal arm around your waste, and you swayed to the music.

“Told you you have some good moves.” Bucky pointed out but you shook your head.

“You are lucky I am as drunk as you because that is never happening again.”

“Wasn’t it worth it though? Getting over you shy ass and dancing with me?” he teased and you couldn’t lie. “Yes Bucky, it was definitely worth it.” His lips spread to a blissful smile that warmed your insides.

The music kept going and Bucky wouldn’t take his eyes off your face. He studied your every feature as if he was looking at you for the first time. “You are you know.” he mattered.

You tilted your head in confusion. “I’m what?”

“The most beautiful girl.” You instantly groaned hiding your flustered face in the crook of his neck and he laughed out loud. “Always so bad at taking compliments!”

“Shut up!” you muffled against his chest.

Yes you were bad at taking compliments, especially when they came from him!

When you lifted your head again, all the front strands of hair that escaped thanks to the crazy dancing were now stuck on your cheek. Bucky delicately tucked them behind you ear, caressing your cheek with his thump. You suddenly became aware of how close you were. This should feel weird was your first thought but the opposite was true. It felt like the most natural thing in the world. You could tell by Bucky’s calm demeanor he felt the same way.

He let your hand rest on his chest and his right arm joined the left on your waist, drawing you even closer than before.

You found yourself unable to look away from him. Everything else disappeared, it was only you, him and the music. His big blue eyes had captured your soul, a prison you didn’t want to escape from. The look on his face was something you hadn’t seen before.

You watched as the corners of his mouth slowly moved upwards. “Y/n… I’m gonna tell you something” he leaned in with a sneaky smirk “but you can’t tell anyone.”

“Is it a secret?” You matched his sneaky tone. Bucky nodded. “Biiiiiig one.” You giggled, his goofy drunk voice didn’t help to take him seriously. “What is it about?”

“You.”

That’s when you realized. The sweetness in his voice, the tenderness on his face, the adoration in his eyes, all the things you felt for him were now projected by every piece of him.

“Then you can’t tell me.”

Bucky’s face fell. “But why?”

“Sharing secrets while drunk isn’t a good idea. Never ends well.”

If he had feelings for you, you didn’t wanna find out that way. You wanted him to be fully aware of his actions and the consequences.

“But I want to tell you.” that puppy pout was back and it was killing you.

“You can always tell me tomorrow.”

“What if I forget?”

“If it’s truly important you won’t forget.”

Bucky seemed to consider your words for a second. “Is that how it works?”

“That’s how it works.” you smiled and he seemed convinced. A relieved grin made it’s way back to his lips. “Okay then.”

Your heart went back to it’s place. Even though this was probably all in your head, it was better not to risk a drunk confession only for it to be taken back the next day. You knew you couldn’t get over that.

You decided to push every anxious thought away and enjoy the rest of that beautiful night. And that is exactly what you did for the next 30 seconds, until your legs suddenly went numb and your vision blurred. “Oh crap!” you immediately stopped moving.

“What’s wrong?” Bucky’s voice sounded from afar.

“I think I had too much to drink...” you batted your eyelids in an attempt to clear your vision.

“Oh god, are you okay? Come on let’s sit down.” He helped you to the nearest sofa. “I’m okay, just a little dizzy.”

“Shit.” he sounded panicked. “Let me bring you some water sweetheart.” he practically sprinted to the bar and was back in no time with a full glass.

People noticed and before you knew it Nat was next to you in full mam mode, while a circle started forming around you making you even worse.

“People, she needs some space here, please.” Steve’s Cap voice cleared the space. “We should get her to her room Buck, she probably needs sleep.”

Somehow, between numbness, nausea and a splitting headache, you ended up in the comfort of your bed. You didn’t know how long you were there, it was a blur. After a lot of hydration, a mix of Banner made pills and a lot of patience, you finally started feeling like yourself again.

“You sure you don’t wanna go to a hospital?” Wanda insisted.

“Yeah guys, I’m a lot better now, I swear.” you moved to a sitting position to prove your point. “I’ll take a shower and sleep for like 12 hours. You go back to the party.”

“Are you sure?” Steve always double checked. “Yes Steve, no need to worry.” you reassure him. “Don’t lose anymore fun because of me people, come on now, move!”

Finally convinced, your friends said their good nights and head back. Bucky hadn’t said a word the whole time; he only held your hand tightly, drawing reassuring circles with his thump on your skin. You squeezed his hand  as a cue for him to leave with the other. “I’m not going anywhere until you fall asleep you know.” was his response.

“Buck, you don’t have to, honestly! Those were just signs of exhaustion. Sleep deprivation and alcohol combined can do that to a person.” Bucky let out a heavy breath and you noticed the carefree glow that decorated his face the whole night was now gone.

“I’m sorry I ruined your night...” you stared at your palms, guilt evident in your voice.

“Hey hey...” Bucky reach for your chin and lifted your head to look you right in the eyes. “You have nothing to be sorry about! Tonight was the most fun night of my life, all thanks to you.”

“Me?” you chuckled. “ I ‘m pretty sure it’s Thor and his alien cocktails you should be thankful to.” 

Bucky scoffed softly as if he found your words funny. “y/n... you do so much more than you realize.”

You tried to decipher the meaning of his words but you were so lost in his gentle expression at that moment...

“Okay, now it’s sleepy time!” He snapped you out of it.

“You seriously gonna put me to bed like a baby?” you cocked an eyebrow at him.

“Pretty much.” he nodded firmly.

“Fine I guess.” you sighed getting up. “I’m gonna take my shower first, so make your self comfortable!” you gestured towards the bed.

Bucky’s satisfied grin was ear to ear as he laid back on your pillows, arms behind his head and placed one foot on the bed. “Shoes off my sheets Barnes!” you shouted before shutting the bathroom door and he instantly kicked his shoes off like a child caught doing mischief.

You hopped into the shower and let the warm water wash every last feeling of sickness away. You stepped out all relaxed and ready for your long night sleep.

“You can’t say I kept you waiting for long.” you said walking out the bathroom. Hearing no answer from Bucky, you checked if he was still there only to find him sound asleep.

You tiptoed your way around the bed to reach your side. Sleep wasn’t something that came easily to Bucky, you weren’t about to wake him simply because he was in the wrong bed. There was plenty of room for both after all.

Carefully, you cover both of you with the blanket and you laid to your side facing him. You couldn’t help but stare at his handsome face. With all the pressure, the constant worries lifted off his shoulders, he seemed so peaceful. He looked younger, softer, the way he would look if all those horrifying things hadn’t happened to him.

Your heart ached at the thought of this beeing most certainly an one night thing. That in the morning, all the terror would come crushing down on him all over again…

Your emotions took over and before you knew it, your lips were leaving a chaste kiss on his cheek. Bucky shifted and you panicked assuming you awakened him. Still asleep, Bucky turned to his side and wrapped you in his arms, holding you tight against him.

At first you tensed up, but as soon as his familiar cent enveloped you, you melted in his embrace, feeling safe and relaxed.

If the first night of the year was the night you get to sleep in Bucky’s arms, then so be it.

…………………………………..

The first rays of the morning sunshine hit your eyelids, slowly bringing you out of your deep sleep. Considering it was the coldest period of winter, you woke up feeling unusually warm. In your attempt to get rid of the covers you realized why.

It wasn’t the blanket that kept you warm. It was Bucky.

You wondered how you ended up waking up with him hugging you from behind. Memories of the night before started hitting you one by one, from the moment you stepped out of your room to the moment you ended up with Bucky sleeping next to you. You were becoming more and more worried about what his reaction would be to the two of you coming so close last night. You knew he didn’t deal well with closeness, mental or physical.

His grip around you loosened. “Good morning.” the lack of sleepiness in his voice gave away that he was awake before you.

“Good morning...” you mattered a bit hesitantly.

“How are you feeling?” he asked. “Good.” You couldn’t tell from his tone if he was cool with this or not. He hadn’t gotten up and run away; a good sign. “What about you?”

“I remember.” was his response. At first you were confused, but then you realized...

“Remember what?”

“The secret.” there was the exact answer you expected.

You had to turn around and face him for this. He seemed calm and at ease, much like last night, which surprised you. But you knew him very well. You could see fear hidden in his eyes.

You rested your hands on his chest, hoping that would help him feel you were together in this. Your inviting gaze let him know you were expecting him to finally share that secret with you.

“I love you.” 

Time stopped. Those three words were all you wanted to hear for so long, it now felt like an illusion. You searched his eyes for any sign of doubt, but you found nothing else but hope and fear. Hope for something more than you already had. Fear that his feelings may not be reciprocated. You could feel his heart beating against your palms as fast as yours.

You dragged your hand from his stern to his cheek, delicately caressing his sweet face. “I love you too Bucky. More than anything.”

The smile that appeared on his lips was the purest and most beautiful thing you had ever seen. Without spending one more second, Bucky reached forward and pressed his lips against yours.

 For the first time in a long time everything felt like it was in the right place.

“Happy New Year Bucky.”

He hugged you impossibly tight, resting his chin on top of you head.

“I have a feeling it will be.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Thanks for reading! Never forget, feedback is balsam to creative lonely souls like my ass!  Maybe share if you think it’s worth it? Hit me with an ask/dm if you wanna be tagged or for anything else, always happy to talk. byeeeeeee <3

MASTERLIST

[haileygarciasunshine]

Widow Maker

Pairing: Loki Laufeyson x Fem!Ex-Widow!Reader

Written: I’ve actually been working on this for a few days lololololol someone help me. Writers block is a BITCH so is life lol.

Posted: July 12th, 2021

Warning: Some swears, Violence

Word Count: 1,605

Author's Note: Contains Spoilers (Ish? Idk) For Black Widow. Also, I made some cool ass spacers. Feel free to use them I just ask you tag me if you do!

Movie and TV Show Masterlist

Before Civil War.

“You do realize you aren’t the only one with a tragic past, right?” You questioned, feeling heat bubbling up inside, while you felt a flush feeling dancing along your cheeks.

Out of your peripheral vision, you were able to see Loki roll his eyes.

“If you keep rolling your eyes, they‘re going to get stuck up there.” You spat, turning around and leaning against the counter.

A chorus of ’Ooo’s’ sounded through the kitchen, followed by snickers.

Glancing up, you locked eyes with Natasha who in turn, raised a questioning eyebrow at you. Rolling your eyes, you scoffed silently to yourself. Without her verbally questioning, you knew she was asking why the sudden need to confront the Asgardian God.

Shaking your head, you pushed the fluttering feeling down that had begun bubbling up.

It was no secret that Loki was on his redemption tour. In fact, word around the office had been that all the females along with some men, had began fawning over him. Naturally, the sudden lustful gazes and sultry conversations had gone to his head.

Loki was quick to develop a sudden arrogance after he had found out the new chatter around him. Being with the Avengers since the beginning along with being a friend of Thor, you knew all the up’s and down’s that surrounded him. Keeping your opinion to yourself, you had been on his side since you could remember. However, with everyone on his bandwagon, you felt jealous bubble up inside.

“Does your head ever get tired of all the hot air that comes out of your mouth?” Loki shot back, earning a sharp elbow from Thor.

Snapping your head in his direction, you glared at him. “You know what? Fuck you.”

Frowning you furrowed your eyebrows together, before turning on the balls of your feet and storming out of the kitchen. Feeling tears welling up in yours, you rapidly made your way to your room. Just in time for the tears to begin cascading down your cheeks. Whenever Loki attacked someone, he knew their weaknesses and made sure to do the most damage. After a while, you situated yourself on your bed and letting sleep overwhelm you.

Jolting awake, your heart rapidly beated out of your chest as the sound of knocking on your door, captured your attention.

Gasping, you turned to face your door before steadily getting to your feet. Opening your door, your jaw fell slack as you stared at the person before you. Opening and closing your mouth a few times, you decided it would be better to step aside and allow them in.

Loki stood awkwardly in the middle of your room. His hands firm by his side. Shutting the door, you leaned against it as you stared at Loki with disbelief. Neither of you wanted to be the first to break the silence.

Standing before you, he glanced around your room, seemly taking in your belongings. Clearing his throat, he turned around to face you.

”I… I uh…” His voice trailed off as he began his light blueberry eyes capturing Y/E/C ones. As you gazed at each other, you were able to see an underlying emotion, that you weren’t sure he was able to express until now.

Coming to your senses, you felt your walls hold steadily as you began fearing letting them down.

”If…If you’ve come here to apologize..” Your voice trailed off. Gazing down at your hands, you began picking at your cuticle bed. One of your many habits you had. “Save it.”

Dropping his gaze to his feet, his head hung low. The air began holding silent cries that neither would feel. Lost words that would never be spoken. All emotion evaporing into nothingness.

“I think you should go.” You mumbled at Loki. Not daring to glance at him, you rushed towards the bathroom before shutting the door without another word. Putting the toilet seat down, you perched yourself on it. Placing your elbows on your knees, you lowered your head into your hands. Tears began welling up in yours at your loss of emotions.

——

After Civil War. Cue Black Widow Era, also cue spoilers.

”Nat.” You hissed as you stood before Natasha.

Responding with hum she placed the phone she had just been talking into on the ledge. Glancing around she subtly slide it off the ledge and into the water.

”Natasha!” You demanded.

”What!” She grumbled.

“Why do you insist on taunting them?”

Scoffing, she rolled her eyes. “The same reason, you and reindeer games keep dancing around your feelings for one another.” She shrugged.

”We don’t have feelings for-“

Cutting you off she let out a humorless chuckle. “Whatever helps you sleep at night.”

Letting your jaw hang open slightly, any argument you had thought of, instantly dying in your throat. Scrunching your eyebrows together you were at a loss for words.

”We…We don’t like each other.” Your attempted to argue.

”Right.” She spoke in disbelief. Turning to gaze at the mountains, you heard her mumbled something in Russian under her breath.

”What-“

”If that’s true,” Natasha turned her attention back towards you. “Then why is he here?”

Reflecting on her question, you were able to respond when you sensed a presence approaching you from behind. Turning on your heels, you faced the perpetrator.

”Hello, love.” Loki greeted, his eyes sparkling as he spoke. A grin making it’s way to his lips.

A fluttering feeling bubbled inside your stomach. Your palms rapidly growing damp. Without much thought, you propelled yourself into his arms. Your arms wrapping around his shoulders gently yanking him into you. It wasn’t long before you felt a rumble in his chest from his chuckling. Loki wrapped his arms around your waist, holding you closer than normal. He nuzzled his face into the crook of your neck, catching the scent of your shampoo that he longed to smell again.

”It’s been too long.”

Moving to pull away, Loki tightened his arms preventing from the slight distance between you. “That it has.” You responded with a nod.

After the events of that night in your room, Loki had gone above and beyond to prove he was worthy of your forgiveness. After awhile his attempts at forgiveness, lead to a blossom in friendship.

”How is space?” You questioned after he reluctantly allowed you to pull away.

”Space…Space is good.” He spoke nodding his head.

Grinning at him, you couldn’t stop thinking that it was all a dream. One that was sweet, the kind that you don’t want to wake up from because it seems too good to be true, especially because it usually is.

“What are you doing here?” You regretted asking as soon as you spoke.

”I…” His voice trailed off as he seemed to reflect on the question.

Cutting him off, Natasha made her way beside you both. “We have to go.” She spoke, her voice holding back a slight panic that you could see bubbling up behind her strong demeanor.

Snapping your head in Loki’s direction you were about to saying your goodbye, when she cut you off.

”All of us.”

Nodding your head, you ahout to question her when she cut you off once again.

”No time. Come on!”

——

After finding Yelena, the four of you set off on a venture to search for their so called, mother and father. Both girls held twenty years worth of anger and bitterness, especially aimed at each other.

Yelena was the helicopter pilot for the mission, while Natasha was the muscle and brains. More often than not settling in the shot gun rider seat. Thus, leaving you and Loki alone in the back.

Sitting side by side, you were jostled together before you were thrown against his side.

Sending you a grin, he silently let you know he didn’t much mind the non existent proximity between you. Neither of you spoke much on the flight, however you often witnessed the cringeworthy interaction between Alexei and both girls.

——

After arriving at Melina’s little farm, you had begun to feel awkward. There was a sense of family as well as anger. Rightfully so, both girls had been subjected to torture and used as weapons forgoing most of their lives.

Standing idly in the kitchen, Natasha appeared beside you. Jumping at her sudden presence you placed a hand over your heart.

”Geez, Nat! Don’t do that!“ You cautioned. “You scared me!”

Natasha giggled at your reaction. After the moment quickly died down, she mirrored your stance of leaning against the counters.

Nudging your shoulder with hers, she had a smirk plastered upon the seams of her lips.

”Do you believe me now?”

Tilting your head, you gazed at her with question. “About?”

Rolling her eyes, she let out a groan. “About Loki sharing the feelings you have for him.”

Scoffing you shook your head. “I don’t really need a monologue on that.”

“Seems to me that you do.”

Standing together, you allowed a blanket of silence to overwhelm you.

”You should give him a chance.” She muttered quietly.

If it hadn’t been eerily quiet in the kitchen, you wouldn’t have heard her.

“I…What?” You gasped.

“Don’t make me say it.” She moaned.

“Say what?”

Letting out a defeated sigh, she shook her head. “I think he’s a good guy.”

”What do you-“

Before you had the chance to question her, Loki rushed into the kitchen. His eyes filled with bewilderment. He came off frazzled.

”Are you okay?” You questioned suddenly forgetting about the question you had partially spoke to Natasha.

”They’re here-“

Luminescent lights from outside suddenly shone inside. Turning to face the lights, you and Natasha held a startling gaze.

Something you hadn’t felt since reclaiming your freedom from the Widow program washed over you. Judging by Natasha‘s features that seemed to be mirroring yours, you knew she had the same feeling.

Fear.

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[tomcats-fandom-blog]

“So let’s circle back to my old favourite punching bag: Age Of Ultron. Specifically the bit where Quicksilver dies. See, Age Of Ultron spends basically the whole movie trying to convince us that Hawkeye's going to die. He gets injured early on, sarcastically announces that he's going to live forever, and we learn he's got a secret family with a loving pregnant wife and two adorable kids and he stares at a picture of them before heading into the final battle. Then, when he runs into danger to rescue a kid and gets attacked by a gunship, Quicksilver zips in behind a car, gets riddled with bullets, says "you didn't see that coming,” and dies.

Couple of problems, and by a couple I mean... WOW.

So, category one, "the twist makes no sense." The movie shows us that Quicksilver is fast as Hell. I have NO trouble believing he could get Hawkeye to safety. But I do have trouble believing he couldn't ALSO get himself to safety. Like, did he... Carry Hawkeye most of the way to the car and then push him while he was still in the open? That seems kind of unsafe at those speeds. It makes more sense that he carried him behind the car, but then why was Quicksilver still out in the open to get shot? The movie doesn't convince me that Quicksilver had to die, and in fact gives me reason to believe he's absolutely fast enough to NOT die in this specific situation. We've seen what bullets look like to him! And it's pretty embarrassing for him to go out like a punk when barely a year earlier Days Of Future Past showcased exactly what a speedster like Quicksilver was capable of. Not a great look.

Category two, "the twist isn't as clever as it thinks it is." When your plot twist looks directly into the camera and cheekily says "you didn't say that coming,” please just... Stop. And maybe fire your writers. More importantly, I did see it coming and so did a lot of people. See, when you give us a lot of really obvious death flags on an important character but then introduce a bunch of disposable new characters, it's not hard to assume that you're faking us out. Vision and Wanda are famous for their relationship in the comics so they were both out of the death running, which just leaves us with Quicksilver, who's arcs are mostly centred in things like Magneto and the X-Men, AKA stuff Marvel doesn't have the rights to. Yeah, it wasn't hard to see that one coming.

Category three, "the twist is less interesting than not having the twist." I want you to picture for a moment, a world where Quicksilver existed for the events of Civil War, Infinity War and Endgame. He'd already started outgrowing his angry, jaded personality and had begun recognising the Avengers as heroes, seeing them do their absolute damndest to save Sokovia from a problem he indirectly helped cause. He started off hating Tony but changed his mind to side with him instead, recognising that all Tony wanted to do was fix the problems he caused. So, if Quicksilver survives Age Of Ultron he becomes an Avenger, most likely as fiercely loyal to them as he was to Ultron, just in time for them to tear themselves apart in Civil War. Say he sides with Tony, seeing the accords as just another step in Tony's journey away from being a weapons dealer he hated. It puts him in opposition with his sister, the first time they've really fought, and would be cool to see them fight! Even if it... Probably wouldn't last very long.

Say he survives the snap in Infinity War, the first time he's separated from his sister. The way they played out Endgame, during those five years there were almost no active supers on the planet. Thor was getting drunk and Hulk was getting therapy, but I don't see Quicksilver taking armageddon lying down. He could be doing his damnedest to keep the peace Flash-style, maybe even clashing with Hawkeye's one man vigilante crusade, a narrative foil situation, each of them responding to the loss of their family in very different ways. Maybe he's doing for Earth what Captain Marvel is doing for the rest of the galaxy, desperately running around keeping things working while the rest of the team searches for a real solution because he's the only one with the powers to do it. Then Wanda comes back after the snap and suddenly there's a five year age difference between these twins. Wanda's still mourning Vision, Pietro's just happy she's alive, and- My God! The emotional baggage they could unpack there. There is SO much potential here, but Age Of Ultron wanted a death and Pietro was available so... Sucks to be him. Bad twist.

Category four, "the twist has no meaningful impact." You guys notice nobody liked Quicksilver? Literally nobody but Wanda. And his death just made her kill Ultron-bots slightly faster than she already was. Quicksilver dies, Hawkeye lives, the cast expands by two instead of three, nobody mourns, nobody gets a funeral, nobody cares. Hawkeye grimaces sadly for a couple of minutes and then everyone puts on their Dark Serious Pants for Civil War. (And I'm pretty sure they don't even mention him in Civil War.)”

-Red from Overly Sarcastic Productions on “Why The Quicksilver Twist In AOU Is Poorly Written.” (Trope Talk: Plot Twists)

[cjsinkythoughts]

FATWS One Shot #7 - Revels

Word Count: 2921

Warnings: Cursing, That’s All, it’s a Really Tame One Shot

Setting/Characters: Party Scene in Avengers: Age of Ultron; Lots of Characters so I’m Not Gonna Name Them All

A/N: I know…it’s very late. I wanted to have it out on Friday, but I dunno, guys. My motivation as of late has been very low. I finally decided to just sit down and write tonight. So here it finally is!

This one is pretty mild compared to others. There’s a few feeling things in here, but it’s mainly just the reader hanging out with the team. The ending’s written a bit weird, but I didn’t know what to cut it off because the writers did a nice job of making the Mjolnir scene flow into the scene with Ultron’s appearance, but I didn’t want to write the whole fight with Ultron, I just wanted the lifting scene.

Listen here, though! Prepare yourselves to be conflicted even more with Steve! I made it a lot more…touchy than I was planning on. Don’t come at me! It needs to be done! This’ll be one of the last ones focused on Steve like that though. The next one is reader and Wanda bonding and then after that I don’t have any more planned for AoU, so we’ll be going to Civil War, which is where reader meets Bucky officially. So Bucky’s coming soon!

I’m gonna update my WIP List and - maybe - my One Shot list and post those later, along with a poll because I dunno which series I wanna start on next.

Thank you all so much for your patience, understanding, and support! As always, not beta’d, so please excuse the mistakes, all are mine! Be kind to yourselves and others! Enjoy and stay tuned!

FATWS Series Masterlist

cjsinkythoughts Masterlist

*******

Buzz. Buzz. Buzz.

You set your bag down and looked at your phone, vibrating from where you just left it on the counter. You looked at the time and squinted. Seven. You supposed it wasn’t too late, but you weren’t expecting any calls. 

Tired, your feet dragged as you moved across the room to get your phone. You were helping Fury set up the Helicarrier again while still remaining “dead” to everyone. It was the last thing you were doing before joining the Avengers full time. You were a bit hesitant to be in the spotlight after all these years, but after much pressuring from your team, especially a certain blonde, you finally caved. It was time for a change anyways. It might even be good for you.

Speaking of blondes, Bubba flashed across your screen, a picture of him with some scruff that you took one day in spite of his protests because you’d never seen him with a beard before lighting up behind the contact name.

You answered it, rubbing your eyes with the heel of your hands as you did so. “Hi, bubs. What’s-”

“Where are you? I miss you. Are you coming soon?”

You chuckled at his whines, an eyebrow raising as you processed his words. “Whaddya mean? I’m at my place. Where am I supposed to be?”

“Honey!” You giggled at his groan, finding it amusing how childish he could be at times. “The party? Tonight? Remember? You promised you’d come. I don’t wanna be here without you.”

“Oh shit,” you hiss out. “That’s tonight?” Moving across the kitchen to check your calendar, you scrunch up your face when you see ‘Avenger’s Tower 6 pm’ written in the square. “It’s Saturday. Aw, Stevie. I totally forgot.”

“Oh. So…are you - are you not coming, then?”

Frowning at his fallen tone, you shake your head. “I’ll be there. Just…give me a bit.”

“No, no. It’s okay. You sound tired. You don’t have to-”

“I’m on my way, Steve. I did promise after all. I’m an hour out.”

You could hear his surprise in his voice. “An hour? You’re not in D.C.?”

“I’m a little bit upstate. Just in a safehouse while I help Fury work on something.”

He let out a contemplative hum from the other side of the line. “That secret project you still won’t tell me anything about?”

A smile appeared across your lips as you walked to the bedroom to change into something a little more appropriate, settling for a comfortable romper instead of dealing with a dress. “You know I can’t, bubs. You haven’t told anyone, right?”

“No ma’am.”

You giggle softly. “Alright. Thank you. You’ll find out soon, probably. It’s almost done. Promise.”

“Then you’ll come live here? With me - the team, I mean? I miss you. The team missed you. On the raid.”

“Oh yeah. How was it?”

“Get here and I’ll tell you.”

You laughed, shaking your head. “I’m coming, I’m coming. See you then, bubba.”

“Okay, honey. See ya then.”

*****************

It was nearly nine when you got to the Tower, but any party thrown by Stark didn’t end until at least ten, so you knew you were fine. Just…fashionably late. A concept you knew Tony understood and you wouldn’t hesitate to remind him if he brought it up.

You were pleasantly surprised by how tame the party was. Sure there were a hundred people you doubted even Tony knew, but no flashing lights, the music wasn’t blaring, and no one was grinding on anyone. Everyone was just talking, drinking, and having a good time.

“Hey! There you are! Capsicle said he called you, but that was hours ago!”

Speak of the devil. You grinned and let Tony pull you into a hug before taking the drink he offered. “Yeah, well, I had a few things to do today.”

His eyebrow quirked up. “A few things, huh? Anything I should know about?”

“Nope!” You popped your lips and gave him a smirk. “Not everything’s about you, Mr. Stark.”

“Yeah, well, we missed you this week. Fun raid.” He looked you up and down and nodded, gesturing to your outfit. “Alright, you know what? I accept this. This is okay. Not what I had in mind, but you pull it off.”

You laughed, shoving his shoulder playfully. “It’s comfortable, okay? Where’s Steve?”

The billionaire rolled his eyes and gave you a look. “Don’t worry your pretty little head. He’s over playing pool with Wilson. C’mon! I wanna get you drunk and complain about my perfect, heroic, billionaire life to my favorite teammate!”

“I just need to tell him I’m here.” You snicker. “And don’t let anyone here you say that. I don’t want my rep to become Tony’s favorite.”

He chuckled with you and gave you another squeeze. “Alright, alright. Come find me later, though. I do have something I need to show you.”

You shook your head, already knowing where the conversation was heading. “Tony! No! I don’t need a suit! Thank you, I appreciate it, but I’m really okay. I like fighting in sweatpants.”

“Fine!” He huffed out. “But at least let me show you some designs I came up with. I put a lot of hard work into them, you know.”

Tapping his chest, you nodded. “I’m sure you did. I’ll come find you and you can show me, but that’s it.”

He smirked, drawing an ‘x’ over his heart with his finger. “Cross my heart.”

“I’m serious, Tony!” You point at him as he started walking away. He just blew a kiss towards you, making you laugh and roll your eyes again.

Turning, you scanned the room for the pool table where, supposedly, Steve was playing with Sam, who you had no idea was gonna be here. You’d been helping him out with the whole James - Bucky, you reminded yourself - Barnes thing during your free time. No such luck yet. The man was literally a ghost, even for you.

You couldn’t stop the smile on your lips when you finally caught sight of him, his brown leather jacket hugging his shoulders a grin on his face as Sam talked to him about something. Quickly making your way over, your arms wrapped around that ridiculously tiny waist, crossing over his stomach. You felt him tense at the sudden contact, before he relaxed at a kiss to the nape of his neck and spun around.

The beam he gave you made your heart flip, his muscled arms winding around your neck. “Y/N! You made it!”

His boyish excitement made you laugh. “I told you I’d come. Hi, Sam.”

Sam nodded and waved. “What’s good, Y/N?”

“Who’s winning?” Slipping out of Steve’s hold, you leaned over the table to study the games process.

“We just started a new one.” Steve informed you. “Wanna join?”

You raised an eyebrow at him. “You sure you wanna be embarrassed in front of all these nice people?”

“Oooh!” Sam winced. “Smack! Alright. Put your money where your mouth is, Y/L/N. Ten bucks says I win.”

“You’re on, Wilson.”

A few more drinks, a couple games, and thirty extra bucks later, Tony called you over impatiently. Steve gave you a questioning look as you heated up, Tony waving his arms dramatically and shouting your name. God, he’s so embarrassing.

“He wants me to look at suit designs.”

Steve frowned at your explanation. “I thought you told him no?”

You chuckled. “I did. I’ll be right back, bubs.” After kissing his cheek, you head over to Tony. From there, you end up bouncing around from teammate to teammate, laughing and joking around with them.

Until Steve dragged you back with him again. “Excuse me.” He interrupted you, Clint, and Natasha’s chatter, grabbing your elbow and taking the drink you had in your hand. “I’m stealing you.”

“C’mon, man! It’s called sharing!”

Natasha laughed and nodded in agreement with Clint’s statement. “Everyone’s gotta have a turn, Rogers.”

Steve hummed, walking backwards and pulling you as you giggled in amusement. “You just had your turn, Romanoff.”

“Sorry guys.” You shrugged when the two looked at you incredulously. “Captain’s orders.”

“Damn right.” Steve nodded firmly.

“Watch your language!” Clint shouted with a pointed finger.

You raised an amused eyebrow at Steve’s groan. “Your language? They do know that you have, quite possibly, the worst mouth on the planet, right?”

He sighed, pulling you to the side of the room and wrapping his arms around your waist. “It’s something that happened on the mission. Which you would know if you were there.”

“Steven.”

He blinked innocently at you. “What?” At your pointed look, he let out a sigh, dropping his forehead to your shoulder. “Did I do something wrong? Is that why you’re avoiding me?”

“Who said I’m avoiding you?”

“C’mon, honey.” He lifted his head, his eyebrows furrowed together. “Don’t hurt me even more. I know you have.”

You shook your head, lips turning down and hand raising to cup his cheek. “Stevie, I’m not. I promise. I’ve just…I’ve just been busy.”

He pouted. “With Fury?”

Giving him a weird look you shook your head. “No. I mean, yes, but I’ve also been helping Sam out with your friend while you help the team with the rest of the HYDRA bases. You know that. What’s going on with you?”

“I’m sorry.” He sighed, ducking his head to your shoulder again. “I’ve just missed you.”

“I know, bubba. I’ve missed you too.”

The real truth was you had been avoiding him. Not on purpose. Kinda. You just felt something different around him. Something you’d never dealt with before. And you didn’t want to deal with it now, so you haven’t been. It was why you were so hesitant about becoming a full time Avenger. Well, that and the fact that you’d been in the shadows for a decade and you weren’t sure how well you’d do in the light.

“Where’s Sam?”

“He had to head home. Long drive. His excuse, not mine.”

You gasped in offense. “And he didn’t even say bye?! Rude!”

Steve chuckled, his nose brushing against the skin of your throat, breath tickling your collarbone. “I’m sure he’ll call you in the morning or something. Apologize for leaving so abruptly.”

You hummed, swallowing the lump that suddenly appeared in your throat. “Tell me about the language thing. What happened?”

He groaned, but straightened and told you about him accidentally scolding Tony, before he proceeded to tell you about the rest of the mission, including the Maximoff twins. 

“Why is it that war always seems to breed more war?” You asked with a sigh.

“They’re just kids trying to do what’s right.”

“We all start out that way, don’t we?” You shook your head. Kids. they shouldn’t be fighting in a war. They shouldn’t have to deal with that. “It’s just a shame.” Your voice is muffled by his shirt after you pressed against his chest.

“Yeah.” He sighed out. “Wanna go get a drink?”

Pulling back from him and looking around, you noted that most guests had already gone and it was dwindling down to just the Avengers and a couple allies. “Yeah. Wanna sit down too. I’m kinda tired.”

“Alright, honey. Let’s go sit down.”

It wasn’t even half an hour later when you were all sitting around the middle of the room, everyone else having gone, but Dr. Helen Cho, Rhodey, Maria, and the team. You were in the same boat as Helen, who was basically passed out on an armchair. You’re legs thrown over Steve’s lap, stretched out to let your feet rest on Thor’s thigh, who was on the chair on the other side of the captain. You were hugging Steve’s arm, your head resting against his shoulder, a small smile of content across your features as you listened to the team banter and tease.

You started laughing at Clint’s comments towards Thor’s hammer while spinning the drumstick he had for whatever reason. “Ah, whosoever be he worthy shall haveth the power! Whatever, man! It’s a trick!”

You and Steve exchanged amused grins as Thor challenged Clint, who stood up with no hesitation and headed to the hammer.

“This is gonna be good.” You chirped, taking the bottle Steve handed you as the archer stopped in front of where it was placed on the table.

Clint stuck his tongue out at you, before turning back to Thor and gripping the handle. He tugged for a moment, grunting, before laughing in slight embarrassment. Chuckling, you snuggled closer to Steve’s side, your eyes feeling heavy. He turned his head to nose your temple and kiss your cheek.

“Oh brother.” You giggled, sitting up with interest as Tony stood up and unbuttoned his suit jacket.

“Alright, so if I lift it, I-I then rule Asgard?” Tony asked in clarification, slipping his hand through the strap.

“Yes, of course.” Thor confirmed with an amused smirk, shooting you a wink when you nudged his knee with your foot.

Tony braced himself, setting his foot on the table. “I will be reinstituting prima nocta.”

You rolled your eyes, scoffing. “Oh God, Tony.” Steve squeezed your knee with a slight chuckle as the billionaire tried lifting it to no avail. You gave him a weird look, watching him leave the room, before turning to Steve. “What’s he-?”

“Alright! Let’s try this again!”

Another fit of laughter left you and the team when Tony strutted back in with his Iron Man glove on. And when that didn’t work, Rhodey joined him with his War Machine glove. 

Your eyes were watering and you tried holding in your laughter, but you couldn’t help it, pressing your face into Steve’s arm to muffle the sounds. You felt his shoulders shake with silent chuckles, which didn’t help your own.

When Bruce went up, an awkward silence filled the air after he tried Hulking out, but then you started laughing again.

“Your turn, bubba.” You nudged the blonde, who gave you a look, before shrugging and patting your thigh. 

“You gotta get off then, honey.”

You rolled your eyes but swung your legs off him, letting him stand up. He rolled his sleeves up, stepping up to Mjolnir, a few encouragements from the team, before pulling on the hammer. You thought you saw it shake a little, but Steve yanked some more and it didn’t move, so you figured you were imagining it.

Steve sighed and let go, putting his hands up in surrender with a grin like the good sport he was. Thor laughed. “Nothing.”

You shrugged at the super soldier who plopped back down besides you as the others tried getting Natasha to go up. “You tried.” 

He raised an eyebrow, crossing his arms and leaning back. “Well if Romanoff isn’t going…your turn.”

“Wh-what?” Your eyes went wide.

“I did it.” He gestured to the hammer. “Now you gotta.”

“Hold on, hold on. We didn’t agree on th-”

“Honey.” He gave you a little pout, cocking his head to the hammer. “C’mon. Just a tug.”

You narrowed your eyes, but your lips turned up and you straightened off the couch. “This is peer pressure. Captain America, everyone.” He chuckled as you stepped over to Mjolnir. “It’s not gonna work.”

Tony snorted. “Not with that attitude.”

“C’mon, Tones. If none of you could.”

The billionaire shrugged with a grin. “Never know if you don’t try.”

You deadpanned at him, gripping the handle and trying, in vain, to pull it. You didn’t put nearly as much effort as everyone else. “Wow. Look at that. What a surprise.”

“What was that?! You barely touched it!”

Giving a shrug, you started back to your seat. “I’m guessing if you’re worthy or whatever, it wouldn’t take that much to lift it.” You fell onto the couch, your head landing in Steve’s lap as you looked upside down at Thor and pointed at him. “But I do have a question for you.” The god looked at you in interest, gesturing for you to continue. “What does worthy mean? Like, what makes a person worthy to lift it? You couldn’t lift it a while back - I know, I read the files. SHIELD agent, remember?” You added when you saw him open his mouth to question you.

You blinked at him curiously, tilting your head, watching as his brow furrowed. Tony cackled and clapped at the silence in answer. “Oooh! She got you! All difference to the Man Who Wouldn’t Be King, but it’s rigged. And the lack of response to Y/N’s question just makes it more obvious.”

“That’s not what I meant-”

“You bet your ass.”

You rolled your eyes, letting it go as Maria teased Steve about Clint’s foul language. “Did you tell everyone about that?” Tony ignored Steve’s question and continued to ride on Thor and his hammer.

“Why are they trying to make sense of it?” You questioned, highly entertained, but also very tired, turning to press against Steve’s stomach.

“It’s Tony. I couldn’t tell you. C’mere.” Steve shifted you so that you were sitting up, but he was holding you more comfortably. “Try getting some sleep.”

You hummed and nodded against him, but a high pitched whine made you wince and stand up, Steve unconsciously standing a bit in front of you. A suit of Tony’s, damaged with wires hanging down and oil leaking out or places that didn’t have metal keeping them in, came in and you inwardly sighed at the bad feeling tugging at your gut.

So much for sleep.

***********

***********

***********

All Works Taglist (Open):

@happygoreading @bibliophilewednesday @breadqueen95 @marvelettesassemble @w-wolfhxrd @the-larry-romance​ @abitofeverythinggg

[mypalbuck]

HE LOVES ME, HE LOVES ME NOT. 

↳ In which sometimes loving people from afar has dire consequences. (hanahaki au)

pairing: bucky barnes x fem!reader

warnings: angst, slight panic attack, mentions of coughing petals and trouble breathing. 

word count: 3k 

You and Bucky have been friends since you were little. He was your special person and you were his. Your friends always used to joke that the two of you would end up getting married considering how joint at the hip you were, and for a while you truly believed it. No matter what life had thrown at you, your paths always seemed to cross. You were his special person and he was yours, until one day she came into his life.

She was radiant.

The kind of girl you always aspired to be like, long beautiful hair, a smile that could outshine the sun and the worst trait of all... a genuinely nice person. You think it was this quality that made you hate her the most, she was perfect for Bucky and you couldn’t deny it one bit. That's why you shut your mouth and held back your tears when Bucky came to you one day and handed you an envelope.

You are invited to the wedding of Bucky Barnes and…

Your first instinct was to pinch yourself which earned you a strange look from Bucky. Your second instinct was the laugh, how ironic. Your third instinct was to cry, to beg him not to get married. The fourth was the sudden urge to cough, strange but you would soon realise that you would suffer greatly from a love lost. As you looked back up at Bucky who was eagerly waiting for your approval, you decided it was best to smile as genuinely as you could and congratulate him on getting someone as perfect as her to be his wife. Little did Bucky know that you went home that night and began to cough up the petals of a striped carnation.

The day had finally arrived, from today onwards Bucky would officially be yours no longer. You could no longer call him anymore in the middle of the night when you felt anxious and needed someone with you to lull you to sleep. You could no longer ask him to be your date to Tony’s parties where all your colleagues would showcase their happy relationships. You could no longer be even the tiniest bit selfish and just want to be around him. He no longer needed you, so you had to learn to no longer need him.

You decided to quickly grab some more concealer to cover up your puffy eyes, from your room at the Avenger’s Facility or Home as you like to call it. The previous night Wanda and Natasha decided to rent a hotel room for you all to have a girl’s night, a fun night to try and calm your nerves and prepare yourself physically and mentally for the day you would never be ready for. It helped for a bit you had to give it to your best friends, but once the two drifted to sleep, the overwhelming sadness crept back up to you and you spent another lonely night coughing. 

Grabbing the handle you swung your bedroom door open only to hear movement already coming from your room. “Nat, did you find the shoes? I think they were in the shoebox up the top…” looking up you expected to see your red-haired friend, but instead met the eyes of the one person you didn’t want to see right now.

“Hey…” Bucky spoke sheepishly having been caught getting dressed in a room that isn’t his. You tried to hold your tears back, your chest began to tighten. The fates have such sick and twisted humour. Out of all the rooms he could have chosen to get dressed in, it had to be yours. The room where you two would have secret movie nights. The room that served as Bucky’s oasis when he first moved in with the Avengers, the only room he felt comfortable enough to sleep in because you were there to hold him when he had a nightmare. The room which you would cry yourself to sleep in every night after the blip happened, hoping and praying that one day Bucky would come home to you and he did.

But you waited too long, double guessing if he liked you or not instead of just ripping the bandaid off and confessing. 

“Sorry for taking over your room, Doll. I just needed some space from everyone to think.” the nickname sending shivers down your spine, in response you nodded your head and waved your hand afraid of what might come out of your mouth if you spoke. Quickly you moved to your bed and took a seat, your eyes hungrily trying to take a mental note of every little feature of Bucky’s you had grown to love, as after today there would be no more longing gazes. A cough left your mouth as he reached over to put his suit jacket on, of course you always thought he was attractive but there was just something about him today that left you speechless.

Bucky caught you staring at him from the mirror and moved to sit next to you “Y/N, you’re here.” he spoke almost breathlessly, which confused you slightly. “Of course I'm here, I couldn’t miss my best friend’s wedding.” That was the first lie of the day. You had been pondering all night as to whether or not you went, but you know that by not going Bucky would have a lot of questions.

“Still can’t tie a tie?” you laughed softly, moving over to help the man out. After a moment of silence you decided to distract yourself from the close proximity that you sat to him. “Are you nervous?” Bucky let out a shaky laugh at this as you finished his tie and took a step back.”It’s totally normal to be nervous you know, Buck. You’re getting married!” moving back to your previous spot, you let him keep getting ready as you watched him begin to pace.

“Am I making the right decision, Y/N?” eyes wide, tears begin to brim your eyes as you prepare yourself for the second lie of the day. “Yes, Bucky. You’re making the right decision.” Suddenly the bed dipped next to you and Bucky’s head was on your shoulder, face burrowed into your neck. An action Bucky had grown fond of over time, slowly you began to stroke his hair, trying to calm him down as you felt him starting to panic. His head quickly shot off your shoulder as he turned his body to face you. “I don’t think I can marry her. I-I love you, Doll!”  

“W-what?!” you yelped, quickly standing up and beginning to pace around your bedroom, breathing becoming ragged as you could feel more petals coming up your throat. You moved back over to Bucky and whacked the back of his head. “WHAT THE HECK Y/N?” he rubbed the back of his head which had begun to throb. You turned around fuming and pointed angrily at him “WHAT THE HECK? BUCKY, YOU’RE ABOUT TO GET MARRIED!” breaths starting to become short you rushed out of your room and into the bathroom, locking the door. Luckily you had made it into the bathroom coughing into the sink before Bucky could see the petals. “Y/N, let me in…” Bucky spoke from the other side of the door as rinse your mouth under the tap.

“Y/N… You know I can just break the door down.” Bucky spoke softly, you could hear him moving to sit with his back against the other side of the door. “Jarvis, make sure Bucky doesn’t get into this bathroom” You spoke shakily to the AI. “I’m sorry Miss L/N, but protocol will not allow me to do so unless the facility is under attack. “Dammit” you spoke, moving to sit against the door in case Bucky tried to pick the lock. “Do you really love me Bucky?�� you spoke wearily, trying not to get your hopes up. You knew it was just his nerves talking but a small part of you was hopeful that he really did return the intense feelings you had for him, it would solve a lot of problems for you. A soft chuckle could be heard before Bucky replied “Why are you questioning it? We’ve been friends since we were kids. You stuck by me even after Hydra turned me into a monster, instead of running you stayed. You always stay. For that I will always love you.” You let out a bitter laugh at this “I’ve seen love in different forms, Bucky. What you feel towards me is familiar love, I’m the safe option…” more tears left your eyes as you began to grasp what was happening.

You sat in the bathroom in silence for a few minutes, silent tears falling as you tried to muffle your sobs. “Do you love me?” Bucky spoke breaking the silence, his voice evidently sad. Here came the third lie you would tell today “I loved you. Loved, past tense.” you only hoped that he wouldn’t pick up on you lying through your teeth, but you knew better than that.

“Maybe if you looked me in the eyes when you said that, I’d actually believe you.” hurt evident in his voice. Moving towards the door, you learnt your ear against it. Bucky at this point had moved away from the door which was your cue to quickly leave the bathroom. Slowly you move your hand towards the handle and open it, but before you could escape Bucky had pulled you into a tight hug which you couldn’t break free of. “B-Bucky, let me go.” you pleaded, trying to push at his chest to separate the two of you. “Do you love me, Y/N?” Bucky asked again, this time he loosened his grip to look at you. 

Mustering as much courage as you could, you look at him with a serious expression “I loved you. Loved, past tense.” the fourth lie of the day. A single tear slipped down Bucky’s cheek. Sighing deeply, you pull one of the flowers you had neatly placed in your hair and pinned it to his jacket pocket. “Good luck, I’ll see you out there.” smiling weakly you move out the door. Looking over your shoulder, you watch as Bucky inspects the flower. 

A striped carnation.

I’m sorry I can’t be with you, I wish I could. This is what a striped carnation symbolises, the regret that a love cannot be shared.

Quickly walking out of the bathroom and down the hallway, you take a moment to support yourself against the wall, “I do love you, Bucky. So damn much.”

“Y/N! There you are!” a voice spoke from down the hall as the figure rushed towards you. Quickly wiping your eyes, you came face to face with Steve, your other best friend. Noticing your tears, he spoke knowingly “He told you didn’t he?” with the single nod of your head, he pulled you into a tight hug. “I love him, Steve.” you begin to sob into his chest as he pulls you down the hallway to somewhere more private, which ended up being his car. “So he told you, huh…” Steve spoke, before running a hand through his hair and sighing. “You told him you loved him back right?” Steve asked as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. Shaking your head no you begin to cry more, prompting Steve to take his handkerchief out of his jacket pocket and hand it to you. “No. Just- just please get me out of here.” nodding his head, Steve put his seatbelt on. 

“Y/N!” The front door slammed open as Bucky yelled after you. “Steve, please start the car.” Steve looked between you and Bucky before sighing sadly and starting the car. You slump back into the seat, eyes flickering over to the side mirror of the car, heart shattering as you spot Bucky standing in the driveway, shoulders slumped and eyes staring longingly in your direction.

“I can turn the car around...” Steve spoke softly. You open your mouth about to cave in but were cut off by the buzzing of my phone. 

Sarge 💘

I have so much I need to say, please, please come back.

More tears ran down your face as you read the pleading message. “Why’d you do it?” Steve spoke up, eyes never leaving the road. “Why’d I do what?” you responded, locking your phone and putting it in the cupholder. Ignoring the continuous flash of your screen which you assumed to be new messages from Bucky. “Everyone knows you love him back, Why’d you tell him that you don’t?” Taking a deep breath, you close your eyes. “I never intended to hurt him... but I will not be a homewrecker. I thought that I’d be alright, that I could handle being around Bucky. But I underestimated how strong my feelings were… Steve, I’m coughing flower petals.”

“I saw it. The carnation, Y/N. I know what it means...” Steve spoke sadly. “What do I do Steve? Am I going to die?” Steve quickly turned the car around and began driving back to the house. “Steve, what are you doing?” You panicked, hoping that Steve wasn’t driving back to Bucky like you thought he was. “You are going to speak to Bucky, I know he loves you back.” Steve spoke firmly, not allowing himself to be swayed as you began to cough again. “I’m not going to watch you die Y/N, especially not when it’s an easy fix. Your love isn’t unrequited!” laughing bitterly you picked up some of the petals from your lap and held them out to the super soldier “Then why all the petals?” Steve grabbed a napkin from the glovebox and took the flowers from you “I will take those to Bruce to look at while you talk to Bucky”. 

“I’m not doing this Steve!” you spoke ready to open the door of the moving car, but before you realised it you were parked in front of the facility and your door was being opened by Steve who was dragging you inside and back into your bedroom. The door was slammed shut and you could hear it being locked from the outside. “Jarvis, unlock my door please.” you commanded but there was no response. Sighing, you closed your eyes and slid down onto the floor. “Y/N?...” a soft voice spoke which made you open your eyes again hastily. Bucky was now crouching in front of you with a worried expression on his face. Your chest began to tighten and you could feel petals inching up your throat. “No, no, no, no!” you stood up and began tugging on the door handle as you began to cough excessively. “Y/N, what is going on?” Bucky swiftly picked you up bridal style and carried you to the bed as struggled to breathe.

“Y/N! Y/N! Doll! Just look at me okay, look at me and match my breaths.” Looking at Bucky you breathed in and out copying his breathing pattern, allowing you to slowly catch your breath again. Stroking your hair comforting, Bucky physically relaxed for a second before a sad expression formed on his face. Standing up, Bucky examined the petals on the floor before turning back to you “You’re sick.” you opened your mouth to disagree but you couldn’t. “I’m- I…” You let out a defeated sigh and moved to try unlocking the door again but Bucky grabbed your arm and pulled you into a hug. You began to cry. 

There was no place you would rather be than in the arms of the man you loved but you knew deep in your heart he was meant for another. “I love you, Bucky.” Your sudden words made Bucky’s eyes go wide. He couldn’t believe what he was hearing. You took a deep breath savouring the moment before pushing yourself from his grasp.

“But I shouldn’t be here…”

Closing his eyes, a single tear slipped down his cheek as he gingerly interlaced his fingers with yours. “I know.” he spoke, taking off his wedding band and twirling it between his fingers. “Our timing was off.” you spoke, looking down at all the flower petals that had scattered the floor. “Yeah.” he replied letting out a bitter chuckle and squeezing your hand. 

You knew the answer to the next question would break your heart, but you still asked it anyway. “Do you love her?” there was a moment of silence before Bucky nodded his head yes. You knew deep down that you weren’t fated to be together and there was nothing you could do about it. “Then that’s all that matters.” you spoke calmly before taking the ring out of Bucky’s hand and sliding it back onto his ring finger.

“But I love you too-” Bucky interjected, grabbing your face in his hands. Tears brimming his eyes as he gently caressed your face. Smiling sadly you removed his hands from your face and moved over a bit. “You can’t love us both”. The two of you stood there in silence, hands still interlocked. “I know what you have, Y/N. You’ll die.” Bucky’s voice cracked, making things so much harder for you. Turning to face him, you smile as genuinely as you could “Or maybe I won’t, I’m a healer Buck. Maybe I can heal myself.” Bucky smiled sadly down at you before kissing your head and moving to sit on the bed. He was torn, you could tell and it broke your heart that you were the reason for his internal conflict.

He wanted to save you, because in all truth he did love you. But suddenly a thought crossed his mind. Before he knew of your feelings for him, why was he not coughing petals over the thought of you not returning his feelings. Was it because he moved on with her? Was he really in love with you? Or was it familiar love like you had said? Only time could tell, but time is something you didn’t have.

Deep down you both knew nothing but love could save you. 

Oh what luck some must have. To love and to be loved in returned. 

[peterbparkerth]

My Experience Shifting to MCU Part 1 it’s really long sorry

Okay the first time I shifted was in January so I will summarise what happened till now.

Steve gives the best piggy backs rides, he’s also gay and loves Bucky but when Bucky and I got together he moved on. Steve is also the one who introduced me to everyone. He makes great pancakes and has the infinity war beard. He’s also very good in training and god his body 😏

Tony on the other hand loves Peter like his own son 🥺🥺. I annoy him a lot by either stealing his suits or by pranking him with Loki. He is exactly like what you think he would be but he is also hella caring

Natasha is so scary at first but I made her get used to me and my pranks and stuff, she has so much love for Bruce and vice versa. She also becomes my training partner when Steve isn’t around. And she gives best life advice. Also her combat skills 😍

Bruce Banner is always at the lab and if not then he is fonduing with Nat 👀. And if that’s not the case he’s helping Tony and Peter. I haven’t interacted with him that much.

Peter Parker! This boy is so not what y’all think (well maybe in only in my DR he is like this). He is so kinky and naughty, boi I don’t know how can he be so innocent around others. Yes he and I dated at one point, but we broke up cause of some drama(he hugged MJ the way he hugs me and wouldn’t apologise to me), he is so caring and possessive like boi he won’t leave you alone at all and boy cuddles and kisses with him🥺🥺 i fondued with him first 😏. He also did some dances with Scott Lang and Peter quill 😭(if you want the whole relationship story of Parker and I let me know, it’s kinda adorable and kinda naughty) he still loves me and I do too but

I’m dating Bucky Barnes now 😏 okay so this dude was in love with me way before Peter and I dated and he had kissed me when the rest of the avengers and I played truth and dare, he made Peter so angry that Peter fondued with me😏. Oh god and his hands 🥺. (Now I will type down how Bucky and I got together and what are relationship is like now).

Okay so we got together when Bucky was sitting with Sam and I came up to Bucky with sad face since Peter broke up with me and I hugged Bucky and told him everything that happened And buck was like “be with me if I make you feel happy” so I kissed him And then we got together .so when I shifted again I walked out of my room and Bucky was like “doll I have been searching for you everywhere I thought something happened to you” and he looked at me like 🥺.I gave him a kiss and he was like “oof! Doll I have missed that”🙈.Bucky and I also 👉🏻👌🏻we went on a mission and I was partnered with Nat and when we came back I went to injured Bucky and tried to give him aid and I took him to my room and while I was aiding him he looked at me and leaned in and gave me such a passionate kiss 🥺🥺🥺.So I sat on his lap and said “I’m ready to give you my heart” .And he looked at me like “Are you sure sweet cheeks?” And I nodded so he then placed me on the bed and locked the door.And then he took of his shirt, left the metal arm on since I told him to.And then he got next to me and then slowly took of my clothes.He then laid me under him and kissed me first then my neck.And then went down on me first.He was so careful not to hurt me. Omg when I told him I love him 😭.He looked like a lost kitten that just found his home.Anyway the day after I and Bucky had fondued I woke up and made him breakfast only to have him hug me from behind and hum a song in my ear I was like “Bucky what are you doing” and he said “serenading my girl” and Wanda coughed and we turned around to see everyone look at us and Peter looked so heartbroken that he pulled me in to a room .And tbh he said “so you’re with Bucky now? The same one I told you to say away..” he said some other rude stuff (Peter was heart broken) making me cry so Bucky came and stood in front of Peter and said “if you make my girl cry ever again, I swear I’ll take her to another apartment building and marry her right in front of you making you hate yourself for eternity” and I looked at him like 🥵👀.Bucky and I kiss all the time making Tony say “stop snogging each other and listen to the mission updates”.Once John called me to meet him alone in a place so I went and I didn’t know Bucky was following me secretly so when I got there John Walker kissed me after a while of talking and Bucky was like “so you came here for kissing another guy” and I looked at him and kept repeating the truth and Bucky said “he knows the truth” and he starts beating up Walker .While he was beating up John I got kidnapped by hydra and when Bucky heard me screaming he ran towards the vehicle I was in but he was too late.I was taken to hydra’s secret place and tortured there and when the avengers came to find me Peter found me first and was like “what the hell darling, you’re okay I’m here, everyone’s here for you” and took me out of constrains only to get kissed by me just then Bucky saw me and looked so heart broken but I ran to him to tell him that I choose him but he said that till he doesn’t sort out this hydra situation he has to go away. And I looked at him like “ I want to come with you”.I said “don’t break my heart like Peter did, I don’t know why I kissed him, I just want to be with you, you make me so happy and so loved, please don’t break up with me, with you i feel alive” and I cried as I said this,He pushed me against the wall and said that he will never break up with me but He need to make sure I’m giving this relationship my everything and I looked at him and kissed him with so much love and passion that showing him how vulnerable I am with him .The way he looked at me when I got really vulnerable with him and the way his held my cheek with his real hand as I did him 🥺 The way he said “I would do anything for you doll” 😭 (these things happened just recently so I will keep you guys updated if you want me to)

Wanda Maximoff and Vision along with Tommy and Billy. Yes they all are alive and together in my DR!. Wanda is so sweet and just a momma bear🥺 she is the first one to know about the drama and tea that happens to me and I’m like her younger sister 😭. She is such a great wife and mother and I’m so proud of her she treats everyone with yummy food every lunch time. Vision on the other hand is annoying af because he keeps asking me if I fondued with Peter or Bucky so I warn Wanda to tell him to shut up about it. Their kids play with me and Pietro so much

Pietro Maximoff is such a flirt but he doesn’t go that far because I tell Wanda to keep him in check as well, he’s also really fast obviously and boi training with him is fun and how he and I along with Loki prank Bucky 😂😂😂😂. Boi I need to spend more time with him too

Loki is my homie, my best friend and my partner in crime!. He took to me Asgard and the way I greeted Odin made Loki laugh so bad 😂. He gives me the best prank ideas and also always tried to keep me away from Peter and Bucky at first. He also always get thrown away by Tony I have no idea why but Thor brings him back to the compound. He��s so caring towards me and tbh I tried kissing him once he said “no thanks, I’d rather kiss a corpse” 👁👄👁.

Thor is exactly like that in the gif, goofy and so hilarious like oh god if humor was a person Thor would be it. He is soft and makes great pop tarts which I steal because why not 🤷🏻‍♀️. Thor trains with Loki and Wanda since Clint is not around cuz clints on fam duty vision is partnered with Tony and Peter. I can lift his hammer which pissed him off so much that he broke the lounge table 👀

Sam Wilson the only time I interacted with Sam a lot was when Bucky and I had to go to hydra facility and he was fun to be around. When I’m cuddling with Bucky or sitting on his lap Sam teases us so much that I tell him stfu 😂

T’Challa ,Shuri, Scott Lang and Peter quill have visited only once so I haven’t spend time with them I only remember t’challa and shuri bringing biscuits and Scott Lang being all so adorable and giving me a piggyback ride, quill accidentally shot me with his gun so yeah he isn’t allowed anymore. Strange hasn’t made any entrance yet but I’m thinking about bringing him to my DR

I have erased some explicit details if you want them DM me cuz i don’t want to scar anyone young here

[nightingaelic]

Fallout new vegas companions taking the courier's place in lonesome road (+ cut companions if that's cool with u) (thanks!!)

The problem with trying to adapt Lonesome Road to another character's experience is that so much of its story hinges on the courier's missing past and the former Frumentarius' struggle to make them understand what happened, why it caused a shockwave across multiple lives, locations and generations, and whether to avenge or let go of the harm that was unknowingly done to the Divide. So if you bring the companions into the mix instead of Courier Six, you either have a long-running story of mistaken identity (a hilarious concept, Ulysses being absolutely positive that the companion is the one who wrecked his dream home while they have no idea who this angry, verbose man is), or a drastically different history for the companions themselves. I say let's give that second option a shot, it seems fun and headcanon-y.

Arcade Gannon: While I don't think Arcade would be directly responsible for the destruction of the Divide, I think he would pale at hearing Ulysses' message searching for Enclave agents and would set out to confront the angry courier on behalf of his hidden family. The Enclave remnants are already hunted by the NCR and the Brotherhood of Steel, and the last thing they need is to be chased out of yet another home over something they didn't personally do. He'd accept ED-E's help wholeheartedly and consider turning back every time he ran into marked men or tunnelers, but his own resolve to save his loved ones would urge him to persevere. I think his determination would intrigue Ulysses, enough to engage the young research scientist in conversation if he arrived at the end of the road in one piece, and the courier might even let go of his vendetta if Arcade revealed that he was doing this out of the goodness of his heart rather than a sense of duty. Arcade would cancel the nuke launch, but would seriously consider blowing up the Legion.

Craig Boone: We know the NCR and Legion were fighting over the Divide before the ICBMs leveled the area. But what if that was by design, rather than by accident? Maybe Boone has more skeletons in his closet than just Bitter Springs, and he was part of a strike team that used old Enclave technology to surprise the Legion forces and seal off an access route, a decision based on math and made by men who had never met the people of Hopeville and Ashton that they sentenced to death. It's yet another weight on the sniper's conscience, and yet another debt he feels obligated to pay, so when Ulysses' call goes out, he answers. The usual dangers of the Divide wouldn't slow him down, but the turbulent weather would irritate him to no end. Upon arrival at the temple, Boone wouldn't mince words because he already knows he's guilty of the charge and he knows Ulysses used to walk for the Legion. If he survived the encounter, Boone would take the opportunity to rain the same destruction down on Caesar's troops.

Lily Bowen: There are about 119 years of Lily's life as a super mutant that are unaccounted-for, and we know she suffers from schizophrenia like many other nightkin. Perhaps it was Lily who discovered the Enclave package and unwittingly left it in the home of America's missiles: Perhaps it was Leo. I'm inclined to think it was Leo, who was probably searching for a cache of Stealth Boys in the old military installations across the desert, and who simply didn't care when a new hole in the earth opened up behind him. Lily, on the other hand, cares deeply, and would set out after Ulysses in the interest of making amends where she could. More so than any other companion, I think Lily would be disturbed by the tunnelers and would go out of her way to crush them wherever they popped up. The marked men would earn her sympathy and she would do her best to knock them out without killing them. After doing the same to Ulysses, Lily would cancel the launch and weep over the subsequent loss of ED-E. She would likely bring the little eyebot back to the Mojave and search for a way to fix it.

Raul Alfonso Tejada: We already know that Raul goes to extreme lengths to avenge the people he cares about, so it wouldn't be too much of a stretch to mix his backstory into the story of the Divide. Following the murder of Claudia in Tucson/Two Sun, Raul chased Dirty Dave and his brothers across Arizona and into the town of Ashton before killing them. Unbeknownst to him, Dirty Dave had a package with him that could speak to the nuclear missile silos hidden in the Divide, and the earth crumbled behind the vaquero as he made his way back home. Though he'd heard of the devastation, Raul didn't put two and two together until Ulysses sent out his summons, and because he didn't have anything planned that week, the old mechanic decided to answer the call. He would put up with Ulysses' messages like a good sport until he encountered the man in the temple, where he would refuse to fight until the two talked things out like civil people. I think Ulysses would be surprised at the revelation that the ghoul he had cast as a villain was following his own quest for vengeance and unaware of the package, and would come away somewhat amused by the situation. They would most likely team up to fight off the marked men, and Raul would cancel the launch and take a wrench to the machines to prevent any more "misunderstandings."

Rose of Sharon Cassidy: Let's say one of Cass' caravans delivered a package back in the day. Let's say that package accidentally buried the caravan crew and an entire community along with it. Let's say Cass knows, and that's one of the reasons she drinks. While Courier Six walks the Divide out of curiosity about their missing past, I think Cass would do it as a form of penance in and of itself, with a little desire for self-destruction thrown into the mix. The journey would start out as a bender fueled by self-loathing and the fanciful notion of giving her missing caravan a proper funeral, and by the time Cass runs out of whiskey she's already halfway through the Cave of the Abaddon and punching holes through the tunnelers with her shotgun. She would largely ignore Ulysses' cryptic messages and holotapes, but she'd grow fond of the little eyebot that took a shine to her and would tear after it once the mysterious courier repossessed it. Following the final battle, Cass would cancel the launch, but only at the very last second, just to revel in the fleeting feeling of control.

Veronica Santangelo: I just can't see Veronica knowingly or unknowingly waking up a nuclear arsenal with a careless application of tech, but I can totally see her stumbling upon the aftermath of something her old mentor is responsible for. Father Elijah already has a tenuous grasp on the consequences of his own actions, and we know that the prototype tech that controls the Divide's weather is a Big MT project. Maybe Elijah paid Hopeville a visit to check it out and took his investigation a little too far when he discovered the nukes. This would explain Ulysses' directions to the old man to find the Sierra Madre, sealing his doom inside the casino. But where does that leave Ulysses? Along comes Veronica, following her mentor's trail of destruction, and the courier can't help but guide her along the path, show her the meaning of the wreckage and the danger of pre-war technology when left to the discretion of those with old-world values, like the Brotherhood. Along that line, I think Ulysses would try to test her like he does Courier Six, and would schedule a launch to see what she does. Veronica would cancel the launch and resolve to never tell her brothers and sisters in Steel about the secrets of the Divide. She might dump some water on the consoles for good measure. More importantly, I think she might finally realize that the unchanging family she clings to can only die out, or go down the same path that Elijah did.

ED-E: Given that ED-E is a robot, I think Ulysses would be hell-bent on finding whoever sent the little guy rather than consider that the eyebot saw a package with Enclave markings on it, picked it up of its own accord, and deposited it wherever it next encountered old American symbols. Through its communication with the other eyebots in the Divide, I think ED-E would get the picture about the courier's quest for the responsible party and play dumb for as long as possible. The other ED-E would help conceal the mistake to save its new friend, but Ulysses isn't stupid and would eventually figure it out. But how do you effectively punish a robot? Maybe he would set the nukes to target the Divide again, to send any remaining eyebots to the scrapyard for good, but it's a long shot. If he did, ED-E would cancel the launch, but would join its override system capabilities to its counterpart's and use the combined decryption power to ensure that both eyebots make it through the ordeal unharmed.

Rex: This good boy would never even consider entering the Divide. Seriously, what dog in their right mind would go in there? What cyberdog? No thank you. Still, the idea of a dog being responsible for the nukes and Ulysses continuing to hold a grudge is beyond funny. Maybe Rex was part of a mission for the Legion when he still belonged to Caesar, part of the group that leveled the Divide on behalf of the Bull. Maybe that's why Antony says he was "lost in battle," and maybe he's the only surviving member of that squad. I don't see why Ulysses would hang around the Divide waiting for the dog to look upon the hell he'd wrought, and he would more than likely seek the canine out himself as soon as he heard about the King's new pet. From there, the story turns into Courier Six investigating an assassination attempt on a goddamned dog, and the events of Lonesome Road play out pretty much the same way they were written - plus plenty of asides about how Ulysses is going to way too much effort over a creature that can't comprehend what nukes are.

Benny Gecko: Few people know that Yes Man was actually one of two securitrons that Benny managed to incapacitate and reprogram, and while the head of the Chairmen hid his favorite in the Tops for safekeeping, he sent the other out into the world for some recon and experimentation. Imagine his surprise when Yes Man was able to remotely hack into a nuclear missile silo and wipe out a budding trade community. And who would've thought that test run was going to come back to bite him in the ass, right after he was sprung from the Legion camp? I think Benny would do everything in his power to avoid entering the Divide, but I also think Ulysses would have little patience for him and would actively force the disgraced city boy into walking the Courier's Mile by blocking any other path out of the Mojave. Benny would form an attachment to ED-E, similar to Yes Man, but would complain the whole way and confront his tormenter with little remorse. He would also nuke both the NCR and the Legion if he came away alive, probably with some snarky one-liner about "letting the chips fall where they may."

Vulpes Inculta: Vulpes already has a few scorched-earth badges on his Pioneer Scouts belt (Nipton, Camp Searchlight, etc.), so eliminating the Divide is just another tactic in the grand strategy playing out between the Bull and the Bear. All he needed to do was leave a certain package in town, and the problem basically solved itself. Unfortunately, that deserter of his wasn't buried under the wreckage, and now Caesar has ordered him to assassinate the renegade. The fool keeps announcing his whereabouts every few hours or so, making tracking an easy task, but by the third time he feels eyes on the back of his neck and turns to find nothing there, Vulpes can't help but wonder whether the student has surpassed the teacher. The final showdown of Frumentarii would be something for the ages, a clash of philosophies and loyalties with plenty of verbal sparring between the bullets. If he survived the encounter with Ulysses, Vulpes would definitely nuke the NCR.

Ulysses: This cut companion can't very well face off against himself, can he? Unless... he was the courier who accidentally brought the Enclave detonator that sealed the Divide's doom. Given the weight of this grief, I think Ulysses would similarly force himself to walk the length of the Divide, take in the utter destruction that his own actions had wrought, and reflect on the meaning of one man changing the course of history. When it came down to the final room, the final decision, our disillusioned courier would activate the launch as a way of testing himself, testing his own resolve. Like Cass, he would stare at the machines shuddering to life around him until the very last moment, before shutting the system down for good, smiling under his breathing mask and walking away forever.

Victor: The robot cowboy doesn't really know what the angry man on the eyebot keeps talking about. He certainly doesn't remember delivering a package to a place called Hopeville or Ashton. Why would he? Mr. House is very good about covering his tracks, particularly when it comes to eliminating business rivals. Really, it could have been any old securitron. Nevertheless, Victor rolls merrily along in search of the courier who summoned his master, letting his own optics passively take in the devastated wasteland left behind by bombs that launched 200 years too late. Because of his robotic nature, I think it'd be a lot easier for Ulysses to get the drop on Victor and disable him at the temple, then wait until House sent another envoy or came himself. House would probably lose interest as soon as he got his data, which I don't think would stall Ulysses much: Once he figured out the Strip's owner isn't coming, he'd find some way to get inside the Lucky 38. If, however, Victor prevailed in the final struggle, he would nuke both the NCR and the Legion on behalf of Mr. House.