#what I was going for

[xerith-42]

XER

Ik this isn't like- blurbs but uuh

Could you maybe possibly message your favoritest laurance simp [@shaddow-reblogz ] some good food?? If not, that is perfectly ok! Just want food

Darling @shaddow-reblogz, food for Laurance simps is something I am always happy to provide. How about we do a little self shipping silliness? That is to say this is me taking a daydream and putting it to paper for you sillies to enjoy. Happy Valentine's Day (no I didn't post this late shut up)

Reader insert doesn't have a directly spoken name and uses they/them pronouns.

Waking up on Laurance's chest has to be one of the best feelings someone can wake up to. Maybe it's because Laurance actually getting a nights sleep is a rarity, but honestly, it's seeing his peaceful expression that eases my worries the most. Such a peaceful smile on his face is one of the greatest reliefs I've experienced recently. I can hear his gentle heartbeat in his chest, and in spite of the cold nature of his skin, his hands wrapped around me provide an irreplaceable feeling of warmth.

It's as if he can hear that I'm awake, hear that I'm staring at him, because moments later his body stirs. His chest rises higher with his renewed breathing, and his heart rate picks up ever so slightly. His peaceful expression breaks into one of mild discomfort as his eyes slowly open. Even if they aren't the emerald green I fell in love with, the pale blue suits him. And I can see the way his relaxed expression breaks out into a soft smile, highlighting his dimples. It's almost unfair how cute he is. Almost.

"Good morning, my love," Laurance whispered softly.

"Morning," I whisper back, snuggling into his chest. I can feel him breathe in the moment, his hands pulling me in closer as he presses a kiss to the crown of my head.

"I don't recall falling asleep with you in my bed, but I'll never complain about such a thing." I couldn't help but laugh.

"That's because you got completely wasted last night and I had to drag your stumbling drunk ass back to the guard station." Laurance's chest moved with the gentle sound of his laughter. A quiet sound only meant for me to hear in this moment.

"My apologies for letting you see me in such a sorry state."

"Don't apologize. I found it quite amusing."

"Oh really?" A cheeky grin spread across my face as I pulled myself over so I was lying on top of him instead of on his side.

"It was cute to hear you go on and on about how enchantingly beautiful I am. Just with less grace than you usually have."

"Good to know I'm still a romantic when I'm drunk."

"You were quite the romantic. I wouldn't be surprised if you managed to flirt with every person in Phoenix Drop before the night was over." An embarrassed blush started to grow on his face.

"I-I didn't."

"You sure did." He slapped a hand against his forehead.

"Everyone?"

"Any pretty person who walked in front of you was subjected to your endless musings. It only got worse the more you and Dale drank." Laurance laughed again, still covering his face.

"Oh my Irene... Remind me to never get drunk again."

"Well that's no fun. Surely you can't swear it off entirely."

"If it means I don't make a fool of myself." I sat up and pried his hand away from his face, now close enough to kiss him as my head hovered above his.

"Laurance, darling, you're going to do that anyway."

"Thank you." Despite his tone dripping with sarcasm I still giggled and threw back a;

"You're welcome." Before leaning down and pressing a kiss to his lips. One kiss became another, and then another, and then he was bringing his arms around me and pulling me back into bed. And I almost let him. Laurance was addictive, just so much fun to kiss, especially when he wanted to get me to shut up.

I managed to push back and still sit above him, but that dazed look in his eyes made me want to go back for more. It is seriously unfair how attractive he is.

"I will say, it's the most relaxed I've seen you in a while. So don't throw it away yet, okay?" I begged gently, though with Laurance I knew it was never necessary. He was a complete softie, and always listened when I spoke to him in a voice this soft. I could see it in those lovestruck eyes before I was even done saying it. I could practically say the next words with him.

"Of course, my love," He replied.

[blabberoo]

Idk what au im cooking.. but Im cooking..

[never-quite-buried]

Nope now it’s at the point that i’m shocked that people off tt don’t know what’s going down. I have no reach but i’ll sum it up anyway.

SCOTUS is hearing on the constitutionality of the ban as tiktok and creators are arguing that it is a violation of our first amendment rights to free speech, freedom of the press and freedom to assemble.

SCOTUS: tiktok bad, big security concern because china bad!

Tiktok lawyers: if china is such a concern why are you singling us out? Why not SHEIN or temu which collect far more information and are less transparent with their users?

SCOTUS (out loud): well you see we don’t like how users are communicating with each other, it’s making them more anti-american and china could disseminate pro china propaganda (get it? They literally said they do not like how we Speak or how we Assemble. Independent journalists reach their audience on tt meaning they have Press they want to suppress)

Tiktok users: this is fucking bullshit i don’t want to lose this community what should we do? We don’t want to go to meta or x because they both lobbied congress to ban tiktok (free market capitalism amirite? Paying off your local congressmen to suppress the competition is totally what the free market is about) but nothing else is like TikTok

A few users: what about xiaohongshu? It’s the Chinese version of tiktok (not quite, douyin is the chinese tiktok but it’s primarily for younger users so xiaohongshu was chosen)

16 hours later:

Tiktok as a community has chosen to collectively migrate TO a chinese owned app that is purely in Chinese out of utter spite and contempt for meta/x and the gov that is backing them.

My fyp is a mix of “i would rather mail memes to my friends than ever return to instagram reels” and “i will xerox my data to xi jinping myself i do not care i share my ss# with 5 other people anyway” and “im just getting ready for my day with my chinese made coffee maker and my Chinese made blowdryer and my chinese made clothing and listening to a podcast on my chinese made phone and get in my car running on chinese manufactured microchips but logging into a chinese social media? Too much for our gov!” etc.

So the government was scared that tiktok was creating a sense of class consciousness and tried to kill it but by doing so they sent us all to xiaohongshu. And now? Oh it’s adorable seeing this gov-manufactured divide be crossed in such a way.

This is adorable and so not what they were expecting. Im sure they were expecting a reluctant return to reels and shorts to fill the void but tiktokers said fuck that, we will forge connections across the world. Who you tell me is my enemy i will make my friend. That’s pretty damn cool.

[inbabylontheywept]

so once me and my wife were watching a documentary where a snake ate like a million eggs. that snake just went to fucking town on eggs. and the snake made the eggs look so good that i kept thinking about it, and thinking about it, and thinking about it, and eventually it was 11pm and i ran out of willpower and decided to eat one (1) singular raw egg just to prove to myself that the snake was surely a liar.

the snake was not a liar. texture is like, super important to me and raw eggs are very Texture so i had another one, and then another one, and then another one, and eventually i ran out of eggs.

i had like, fifteen raw eggs.

i didnt really know how to explain this momentary madness to my wife, so my Plan was to put all the eggshells into a grocey bag, and then throw that grocery bag in the dumpster, and if she never noticed that would be Excellent and if she noticed immediately i could lie and say that the eggs went bad.

except i cant lie very good, and of course with murphys law being such, i got salmonella.

so i threw up a lot and my wife asked me what poisoned me so and i tried very hard to dodge the question but i was oozing shame like oil from a room temperature cheese and eventaully i gave in and told her everything and to her enormous credit she was more flabbergasted than actually upset. she did make me promise to not eat any more raw eggs, which i have stuck to, and she gives me weird looks during nature documentaries now as if desire was the only thing keeping me from eating thousands of pounds of krill anyway i made a joke earlier about being able to eat my age in eggs and my sister in law in law made a drawing to comemorate the moment and also because it was my birthday. she's excellent. thank you 10000000% @cintailed. you should all visit her page and admire her work.

[riacte]

not romantic not platonic but a secret third thing [what would happen between earth and the moon if the earth stopped spinning as illustrated by xkcd randall munroe]

[oidheadh-con-culainn]

as an aroace person with limited sexual experience, no interest in watching porn, and poor sex ed as a teen, there IS something simultaneously funny and vaguely tragic about being 28 adult years old and realising how extremely tiny your frame of reference is for genitalia and deciding you should expand this to better understand bodies (yours and others). and then you're just there like "okay so what the fuck do I even google right now, anyway"

[demaparbat-hp]

He's never happy

[vulpinesaint]

quiz enjoyers! i am now inviting you to come create something in my workshop❕

[cowboysmp3]

there’s something sooo sickening about how dunmeshis whole energy is like sometimes something terrible and awful happens to you and it changes you forever and nothing can make you the person you were before but there’s still love and there’s still sharing a meal together and there’s still living

[oldbutchdanielcraig]

hey guys if you’re planning on making a vaguepost on the dashboard can you message me with the details and some of the lore behind the vague post you’re making. a vaguepost for the dash and a detailedpost for me. because i like to know what’s going on. if you do this i will automatically take your side because you’ve done the right thing by letting me know what’s up. thanks in advance ❤️

[perrieedwards]

i feel like people are skimming over the uk riots in a way that makes me want to tear my hair out. muslims in the uk are in active danger. immigrants in the uk are in active danger. refugees in the uk are in active danger. people of colour in the uk are in active danger. asian communities in the uk are in active danger. black communities in the uk are in active danger.

there are massive far right riots throughout the country right now and people like fucking elon musk and nigel farage are inciting it and still have a platform to speak. people have used three young girls deaths, people's genuine grief in southport, to try and gain traction for their own racist bullshit and it's working.

a lot of refugee charities have been forced to close leaving many people without support, homes, funding, food, etc. if you aren't able to donate please consider sending a message via the conversation over borders campaign! it will send a hopeful, welcoming letter to a refugee in the uk. there is also a guide to staying safe here.

please do your own research and donate to refugee charities, anti-islamophobia charities, mosques who are trying to rebuild after being destroyed, counter protesters, here are some i've heard positive things about but the list is extensive; southport strong together (support for the southport victims and their families), southport mosque rebuilding, riot repair fund, middlesbrough vulnerable residents, nasir mosque rebuilding, hull help for refugees, bristol welcomes migrants,

[pangur-and-grim]

one thing that took me embarrassingly long to learn is "sometimes when people say things, they will not be true."

I used to tell people about this revelation and they'd be like yeah.....duh.....but like, why wouldn't my base assumption be that you're communicating to me in a straightforward manner. anyway, I get scammed a lot.

[frankierotwinkdeath]

Y’all want Taylor Swift to be gay so bad but you won’t even write femslash about her

[obsob]

i am a being capable of immeasurable love and whimsy

[pigswithwings]

the angel staying over at my house asked for a nightlight in their room and i told them buddy, don't you produce your own light? what're you gonna do with more? and they said they wanted to see why people like it so much. and also that the nightlight i own is blue and they've been trying to understand color. anyways i think they've stared at it for an hour now