#what I love the most in it through years is their dramatic perspective and also contact gestures

[piastrinorris]

An Unambiguous Love [3/10]: An Invitation

1 :: 2 :: 3 :: 4 :: 5 :: 6 :: 7 :: 8 :: 9 :: 10 ::

alternate AO3 link

Pairing: Steve Harrington x Eddie Munson x f!Reader

Genre: fluff

Summary: Your favourite customers really make it easier returning to the town you never went to school in. If only your friends at work would stop trying to play matchmaker between you.

Chapter 3 word count: 2655

A/N: This chapter introduces the use of a meta-narrative of events that happen outside of reader's perspective, it's different to what I usually do for reader inserts but I actually had a lot of fun fleshing out other characters in the story! I hope y'all like it, too!

As the days go by, you develop quite a presence within your team. Your colleagues all seem especially abuzz when they get to work with you, and they certainly seem interested in getting to know you - but there’s an ulterior motive within all of them.

Every time Steve visits - which seems to be most days - they’re all on high alert, especially Tiffany. She even keeps lookout around noon to watch him leave Family Video on his lunch break, and rushes to make sure you’re out on the shop floor every time. She’s not the only one, though. Most of your colleagues will come and find you if Steve comes in, though not as eagerly as Tiff might. You have noticed on occasion when you’ve been working in the back, if the doorbell dings around noon, you can poke your head out and almost guarantee that Steve will act as though he’s looking through the comics, but will crane his neck around as though he’s looking for something - or someone - else in particular. You think it’s quite sweet that he’s that interested in being your friend, though you wonder why he hasn’t simply asked you to hang out outside of work.

This isn’t the only person you’re having this problem with. Eddie also loves to visit, though his are later in the afternoon. You know from Tiffany that he’s still at the school, having been held back until he can graduate this year, so he obviously visits once he’s done there. Usually either Ralph’s around, or he’s been told about it by the time you next work with him. But where Steve will act more nonchalant - probably because his “reputation” likely doesn’t fit here - and tell everyone who asks that he’s simply been sent to pick up a comic or two, Eddie has been nesting himself quite happily in the D&D corner, flicking through campaign books for ideas, helping others who come through with questions about the game, making it clear that he’s here as more than just an ordinary customer.

Eddie certainly does love to play along to other people’s dramatics. On the one hand, it’s fun to watch him leap across the store, helping people come up with ideas for campaigns, sessions, backstories. You just wish he wouldn’t entertain the very silly notion that he’s here to partake in some kind of sordid affair with you. You’re sure it’s very clear that he is exaggerating as a way to show everyone he doesn’t really feel that way, but you do admit it takes you a good week or so to get used to not swooning whenever he drapes himself over the counter just to look up at you with fake adoration as he talks to you. And the time you overheard him ask Ralph to, “Bring me my girl.” still gives you goosebumps if you think about it for even a second.

You wonder how to invite either of them to do something outside of work, without any of your colleagues catching on and making it a big thing. Ideally, you’d like to invite them both to hang out at the same time, since you’re sure they must be fairly good friends due to them constantly referencing each other, though they’ve never visited the store at the same time.

One Saturday, Steve comes in at his usual time, still in his uniform so you’re sure he’s been working, but he’s tailed by that Dustin kid. You guess he’s been hanging around the Family Video all morning. You nod in greeting to him, "Henderson, right? You good?"

He grins, "Oh yeah, I'm real good right now. Hey, thanks for having my back the other day. Getting me issue 200 early was cool enough of you, but helping me shove it into my friends' faces? Priceless."

"Well, if I've learned anything while working here so far, it's how nerds like to one-up each other all the time,” you nod with a chuckle.

Steve raises his eyebrows, tilting his head slightly towards you and scoffing. “‘Nerds’? Like, in the third person?”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” you ask, folding your arms. There are two speeds to Steve - his awkward bumbling, which seems to come along whenever you’re not automatically there for him to find and/or others are hanging around; and straight-talking, sassy Steve. While the former may be… Sweet, in its own way, you certainly prefer the latter.

“Well, I just think that’s a bit rich coming from the person selling nerd rags and nerd rocks,” Steve points to a rack of comics and then a jar of dice. “At least embrace who you are, too.”

“Is there a reason you came all this way, other than just to heckle me?” you ask before pointing at Dustin. “Since you’re usually his delivery pigeon and, well, he’s here too, so…”

Steve glances over at Dustin, who looks up at him expectantly, and then looks back over to you. “Uh, well, see, this weekend my friend Nance - Nancy, her parents are out of town. A-and so, usually we all hang out - well, I say we all, us older kids tend to group together, and then the younger ones do, but they’re super chill, you’ll barely notice ’em, it’s just we all stay under the same roof so the Wheelers don’t freak out. Uh, anyway, if you wanted to come hang out with us, too, that’d be cool. Totally up to you, though.”

You suddenly grow very shy. A party sounds like a whole lot of people you don’t even know… You rub your arm anxiously. “Uh, that’s a great offer and all, but I wouldn’t know anyone else, and I wouldn’t expect you to have me joined at your hip all night…”

Steve’s expression freezes as he racks his brain, until Dustin is the one to swing the back of his hand into Steve’s torso and suggest, “Eddie! He’s in here all the time, you gotta know him, right?” You nod. “Yeah, we can just -”

Steve sucks the air in through his teeth. “Yeeeah, no dice, buddy.” You and Dustin both cackle quietly at each other as you make the same joke of pointing at the jar full of them right next to you. Steve ignores you both, “No, I’ve been trying to talk him into coming, Nancy did invite him, but he’s… I dunno,” he shrugs.

“But maybe knowing he has another friend there too might help persuade him to come,” Dustin explains slowly to Steve, moving his hands around in circles.

Steve nods just as slowly. “Got it, got it. I’ll get him there.”

You scrunch your face up in thought. “I dunno, you guys, it’s very sweet of you, but I don’t know if Eddie would want to go somewhere he’s already turned down just for me to be basically attached to him all night, eith-”

“You wouldn’t be just attached to him, either,” Steve’s answer is quick and sharp, and his expression is the most stern you’ve seen. If your colleagues were watching, they might mistake it for jealousy. Actually, you wonder why you don’t feel multiple pairs of eyes prying on you from “secret” locations. Steve then softens up, “We’ll both help you get used to the group. Trust me, you’re gonna love ’em.”

Well, you had been wanting to see more of your two new friends outside of work. And perhaps you’ll make some more friends, too. “Alright, what do I have to wear?”

A grin breaks out across Steve’s face. “Uh, just whatever you’re comfortable with. It’s just a bunch of us hanging out at the Wheelers’ house. Um, if you wanted, I could come pick you up?”

“That would be nice! Uh… Hang on,” you scramble around for a scrap of paper and scrawl your address onto it. “What time?”

“I mean, I was hoping to get there for 8, so I’ll come for you around 7:30?” Steve asks, and you nod, handing him the paper.

Dustin is bouncing on the balls of his feet. “Yes! Awesome! See you soon!”

As both of them turn to leave, Steve frowns. “Huh. Weird. Can’t see Robin in the window.”

—[ meta ]—

Robin and Steve hear the door open to see - of course. Like every Saturday. The Henderson Roundup. If you’d have told Robin just two years ago, that she’d be spending her weekends mostly hanging out with a teenager, she’d have never believed you. But, it’s kinda sweet, watching her best friend Steve get to play big brother. And she gets a kick out of getting to team up with Dustin to make Steve’s life hell.

The second the clock strikes noon, Dustin cheers, “Yesss! Now you can take your lunch and come to the comic book store with me!”

“You know you can go there… yourself, right?” Steve asks, furrowing his brow. “You’re a big boy now, Mister Freshman.”

Dustin puts on a mimicking voice, “‘Ooh, you’re a big boy now, miste-’ Shut up,” his tone returns to normal, and Robin snorts with laughter. “C’mon, there’s a new issue of this one comic I’ve been getting into that I really wanna get.”

Opening a packet of chips that she clearly took in front of her manager with absolutely zero consequence, Robin puts one in her mouth slowly. “Huh. So, you couldn’t have asked Steve to pick it up on the multiple trips he’s made over there for you this week?”

Dustin looks at Steve, confused. “When have I asked you to -” Dustin’s whole face widens with glee. Steve’s does with horror.

Hurriedly, Steve hops over the counter to stand behind Dustin. “Hey, guess what, Henderson, it’s your lucky day, I will be wasting my precious lunch break with you after all.” Holding Dustin’s head, he swivels the boy around entirely and quickly herds him out of the store. 

When they’re in the parking lot, they huddle close as they walk away from the store, then start shoving each other until they’re basically play-fighting. They do that until they get to Steve’s car, where he makes a detour to lean against it to talk to Dustin. Robin’s known Steve long enough to know that he’s standing in his ‘game plan’ stance. That, plus him not wanting Robin to know why they’re out there, spells it out in plain English for her: he’s got a crush on someone over there. A real one, the kind he always teases Robin for.

She’s not mad, not by any means. He’s totally right, her first reaction is to seek revenge for how he treats her every time she crushes on someone. But, she contemplates as she continues to eat her chips, she wouldn’t be a good friend to do that behind his back. At least every time he gave her grief, it was because she felt safe enough around Steve to not be subtle about it.

Perhaps she could help, instead. Looking over at the comic book store, she notices that a group has congregated near the dumpster. Making no attempt to sneak past their manager, but every one at making sure Steve and Dustin don’t see her, she manages to evade detection all the way up until crashing into the dumpster, causing the group to jump.

“Oh my god, I’m so… Sorry, I’m so clumsy! I was just…. Um…” She flounders, realising she never came up with an alibi for coming over.

Thankfully, a girl who Robin vaguely recognises as someone she can place seeing in the school hallways, pipes up, “Wait! You work at Family Video, right?”

“Yeah! Just learned that my colleague is quite an esteemed customer,” Robin smirks, leaning casually against the wall of the store. 

“Do… You know the full story?” the girl asks, and Robin shakes her head. “Okay, so, I’m so sure that Steve and Y/N - have you met her?”

“Name doesn’t ring a bell,” Robin shakes her head.

“Well, anyway, they’re so in love, but they just don’t know it yet,” the girl continues wistfully.

Her male colleague snorts behind her, “You’re such a kid. You can’t just dictate how two people feel about each other without discussing it with both of them at length.”

“Oh, so you’ve talked to both Y/N and that Munson guy about their feelings, then? That’s how you’re so sure?” The young girl retaliates.

Robin holds her head. “Hold on, hold on, rewind. You’re saying Eddie’s part of this, too?”

The girl squeals with excitement, “You know him, too?! This changes everything! We’ve got someone on the inside!” She finally introduces herself as Tiffany, the other speaker as Ralph, and a third party, silent so far, known as Cameron. Robin introduces herself, too.

“Alright, yes, this is good, we can use this,” Ralph leans in. “So, how can we try and get Robin in good enough to assess the situation?”

They all think for a second before Robin snaps her fingers. “Oh my god, tonight. There’s - one of our friends, she’s having a party. And she knows Eddie, too, if he isn’t already invited I can totally talk them into it.”

“If we can somehow get Y/N invited…” Ralph conspires, tapping his chin.

Robin laughs, “Well, if I know Steve and his little… Sidekick as well as I think I do, they might be on that, already.” Her face falls. “I should get back before they realise I’m gone. Uhh, when are you guys next working?”

After some deliberation, the gang decides to regroup on Wednesday before closing time, to debrief about whatever happens tonight. Robin manages to rush back in enough time for her to recompose herself enough to look bored, picking up the rest of her bag of chips.

When Steve and Dustin return, they both look excited. They stop in their tracks when they see Robin, though. “Oh! Hey.”

“Uh, hi?” Robin ironically puts all her energy into looking nonchalant.

Steve frowns, “Could’a sworn you were… Doesn’t matter, I’m gonna need the phone.”

Robin steps aside, and Steve looks through the customer database before punching in a phone number. After a couple of beats, Steve grins, “Munson! My main man! How’s it going, buddy, I’ve missed you! How come I don’t see you anymore?”

Robin has to duck away to avoid him seeing her laughter. Looks like everything might just fall into place without any effort from her at all.

“Well, you know, I’m working full-time now, you’re almost out of school … Come on, I know you’re happy coasting at the bare minimum, you don’t need to spend your weekends studying … Oh, you’re helping Will write his campaign? Not sure what he’s running for, but boy, do I have a deal for you! … I know you know that, but I have another proposition as to why you should come … Well, we have a mutual friend at the comic book store, right? … Yeah, that’s her! Yeah, I thought it can’t hurt her to have more friends in the area, but she seemed a little nervous when I brought it up to her … Well, I - I may have told her that you’ll be there to help me help her mingle … Come on, you know you can’t stay mad at me … Yes, I’ll supply enough beer for the both of us … You are the best! I’ll see you later, man!”

As he flicks through to find another phone number, a girl around Steve’s age walks in. Usually no matter what, even if he’s actually busy with work-related stuff, he would drop anything to test out his latest pick-up lines. And yet, Robin isn’t at all surprised when Steve looks up at her, phone handset wedged between his ear and shoulder, hand covering the mouthpiece, and asks in a hushed tone, “Hey, would you mind helping her - Heeeey Nance, so I have some updates for you about the party you’re planning…”

[missglass]

2022, the year of great books

i had a fantastic reading year in 2022. these were some highlights in no particular order:

Susanna Clarke, Piranesi. What a peculiar little book. A man lives in a gigantic ruinous house - a kind of castle with grand halls and statues - where life is dominated by the tides of an ocean in the lower levels of the building. The protagonist is a kind man with almost child-like curiosity, he seems like a monk living with the utmost worship for this strange place. Like the house, the story unfolds like a labyrinth and as a reader you only slowly discover what exactly is going on. Best read in January by the sea.

Jonathan Franzen, Crossroads. I mean, yes, guys like Franzen rewrite the same kind of book again and again, but man, are they good at it. I'm a sucker for the same story told from multiple perspectives, and who doesn't love to think about God and a complicated relationship with faith through the eyes of one of the most pathetic protagonists I have read about in the past years, a housewife with the most unhinged backstory, and a bunch of unnecessarily dramatic children.

Kamila Shamsie, Home Fire. One of my absolute favourites. A retelling of Antigone set in modern Great Britain about three siblings - a set of twins and their older sister - whose father was a jihadist. I found the classic themes of Antigone - struggles with family, duty, sacrifice - really well updated to reflect more contemporary struggles with identity, faith, as well as political issues like immigration and the toll it can take to be pulled into two different directions: tradition/modernity, fitting in/staying connected to your roots, conforming/preserving some form of inherited cultural identity.

And yes, you obviously know how the story ends from the start, but the ending is still so heartwrenching. As we know from Fleabag, the greatest love stories are still between siblings ("the only person i'd run through an airport for is you" and such).

Ali Smith, Autumn and Summer. I have been a fan of Smith since reading "How to Be Both" and I am now three quarters through her beautiful Seasonal Quartet. I hardly know another author who writes about our contemporary times with such ease. i love how art is always present in her works and how her prose is playing sly tricks on the reader. she is sometimes so literal in her imagery that you can only think something is meant poetically or metaphorically, only to find out two sentences later how it was indeed meant literally.

Rachel Cusk, Transit and Kudos. One of my favourite discoveries of 2022. I loved reading about Faye's encounters and her conversations with friends and strangers alike. It reminds me a bit of Salinger's "Nine Stories" in the best way, enough love and squalor to please Esmé. Especially Transit was so full of great stories; Cusk really is able to capture that uncomfortable, liminal space in between two situations, to describe what it means to go through upheaval, to not know how something will turn out. To know something old - a relationship, a flat, a homecountry - was not the right fit, but not knowing at all that what will come will be any better.

Maggie O'Farrell, Hamnet and The Marriage Portrait. "Hamnet" is a fictional account of Shakespeare's youngest (real) children - insightful, inutitive twins Hamnet and Judith - as well as of their mother, Agnes (the secret protagonist). O'Farrell's descriptions of grief and quiet domesticity are very lovely. The scenery is a bit mystic or unsettling at times, especially chapters about Agnes' life, and I found the novel generally beautifully written. (As the Guardian put's it: "read it and weep").

The Marriage Portrait takes place in Renaissance Florence and also features a very insightful, inutitive child, Lucretia de' Medici, the smart and rebellious daughter of the Duke of Florence. This story is about her arranged marriage at 15 to the Duke of Ferrara, and - as stated on the first page of the book - about the rumour that her husband killed her less than a year after their wedding.

I found the book quite suspenseful, but also very tender, poetic and loving. Also, I love books about artists and seeing through their eyes how they approach their art, which was a big part of TMP.

Honorable mentions:

Stine Pilgaard, Meter pro Sekunde - features my personal favourite, most fun protagonist of 2022.

Katja Oskamp, Marzahn Mon Amour - tales of a pedicurist/podiatrist and her clients.

[punkpandapatrixk]

Lion's Gate Special for 🐞🐍⛲🐝ALL SIGNS

With the elements/signs of the zodiac, you can freely use your Sun, Moon, Rising/Ascendant, or even your Stellium (❗️)

[Back to Masterlist]

We’re past Leo season now😅and you may have known that I wasn’t having an easy transformational period👻but I’ve got to redeem myself, so instead of doing a season overview reading, I’m presenting this Lion’s Gate Special. May this reading open you up to the blessings and prosperity that come with this massively transformational era—yeah, era; not just year.

Many of us are going through multiple cycles of spiritual purge, upgrades and transformations as the consciousness of Mankind is being elevated to a higher understanding of light, love and abundance. Gotta let those stale definitions of working hard and living humbly out the window, honey. SLIVING IS THE NEW CURRENCY OF LIVING!🫀

It’s Leo energy—it’s still with you—so don’t be afraid of being a bitch, dramatic or extra if that’s what’s necessary to get your money (liberation from physical limitations & societal restrictions). Are you ambitchious enough to get your way in the world? If you ain’t that, you’re gonna get stepped by everyone. Then, what are you gonna do about that? Cry like a little bitch?

Pssst… All bonus content open for Public. Happy Lion’s Gate~✨

Paradigm Reset for 🐞Fire Signs

🐏Aries – XIII Death

Whoop whoop! Look who’s the only one who’s got a Major Arcana? Go die, bitch—to allllll stale notions that are causing you stress and a sense of limitation. Like, any belief or activity or attachment to duty that are making you feel like your real identity, creativity, divinity must take a backseat. Die to all of that. Give birth to an upgraded version of yourself—you know, like Gandalf the Grey needed to die and got reborn as the all-powerful and wiser Gandalf the White? Yeah, before you could sparkle like that the grey dude in rags needed to die first, aight? Don’t be afraid of losing anything, if anything, you need to lose those things cause they’re only chaining you to a mediocre lifestyle. A mediocre Life. A simple existence. Whatchu born a Fire Sign for if you gonna die a nobody? Kill that nobody now yourself and run towards your Destiny as something larger than Life, bitch. Life is your bitch.

🦁Leo – 3 of Pentacles

Okay this is funny because this is like saying: ‘Bitch, learn to be humble and listen to what others have to say before you repulse their opinions!’😂Cuz you gotta learn how to work with others if you wanna live a more enjoyable Life. I guess that’s about the gist. This card is trying to point out your penchant for thinking that you’re better than everyone else because most of the time, you’re not. Unless you’ve matured enough to take in a lot of your environment, for the most part you’re just a narcissistic selfish asshole in rehab. Gotta take care of that small mindset so you become a match to your fabulous lion’s mane, hon. Gotta learn to take care of your self-esteem because the real deal healthy self-esteem comes from real skills, talents and contribution to your community. You’re Leo, of course you wanna be acknowledged for your contribution! So get learning by listening to what everyone else has to say about their perspectives, priorities, and methods!

🎠Sagittarius – Knight of Cups

Despite being a Fire Sign, you’re actually super down to earth and practical—in the way you think. Yeah, not your persona at all, but your anima is wise beyond your years. In this manner, you vibe similarly to Capricorn. But bitch, you’re so attached to observing just your physical reality sometimes you forget to seek guidance from the stars. You also forget the romantic and dreamy nature that comes with being Human. Bro! Living ain’t just about determining what’s right and wrong on a minute-to-minute basis, OK? Let yourself live, for fuck’s sake. Others may see you as a reckless daredevil, but if they got to dive into your head for a day, they’d know just what level of analytical anxiety—is that even a thing?—you’re suffering from because you’re damn afraid of things going wrong! Chile babe. What can go wrong if you’ve got the right attitude? ATTITUDE. That’s the key. Are you boss or what? Command the universal forces to work in your favour.

Lion’s Gate Prosperity Transmutation🔻❤️🦁

Access full reading + cards on Patreon🌸

☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.

Paradigm Reset for 🐍Earth Signs

🐂Taurus – Page of Swords

Wow look at that—esp if you look at the image of the card—your paradigm reset is all about mustering the courage to get out of your coward zone. Yup, coward zone; not comfort zone. Comfort zone is good, it’s what we all strive to be. But cowardice is an entirely different concept. We’ve all accepted this notion of Taurus being bullishly stubborn and to be honest with you, because I hate Taurus energy anyway, I’d say go do whatever you like, but if that prevents you from growing up mentally, spiritually, even intellectually, then you can go and fuck yourself. Nobody likes a bullishly selfish and stupid person. The infamous Taurus stubbornness is really the stupid type because it gives the individual self-justification for the way they’re sabotaging their own character development. Aries is famously stubborn, too, but they’re flexible and can alternate lines real quickly when they’ve been awakened to what’s better. Underdeveloped Taurus, especially women, are literally the bitterest fuckos on the Planet. Are you OK with being that? I know you don’t care anyway so fuck me for trying🙄

🧘🏻‍♀️Virgo – 6 of Cups Rx

Virgo peeps are those who grow up real quickly. It’s the sense of responsibility, as well as the desire to care for others that cause this. Sometimes, you miss your old self, wondering when you became a grownup. Sometimes, when you’re quite sober, you even wonder why you’ve had to act grownup so much when you’re actually still so young! All things considered. And you’re left wondering if things could get any easier for you because you’re often exhausted from just thinking and boy o boy those responsibilities. Well, here’s a secret: you’re the master of your own Reality, so if you decide today that things must change to become easier, things can and will get easier. Easier said than done though. Because at the end of the day, your subconscious beliefs rule some 90% of your reality-creation. So what to do? Me being me, I’d suggest subliminals that can change your mindset to favour an easy existence, but if it ain’t your thing… Well, you’re fucked coz there’ll be no end to your analysis-paralysis trying to figure this out😂

🐐Capricorn – Page of Wands Rx

OK, sucker, listen up, and I don’t care if you’re gonna be able to open your eyes or what: your mega enterprising ideas are strangling your creative ambitions. Does that ring a bell? You’re smart and you’re the farthest thing from lazy, but you’re also a pathetic people pleaser. You want to be seen as responsible and capable by everyone else, and you have the capacity to work really hard to provide for others. But that’s a fucking lie, you’re not altruistic, you’re only working hard to provide for others because you’re a coward who doesn’t believe you could establish your own kingdom of passionate, creative living. If you’re gonna work hard at all, why not use all of that Life Force on your own actual dreams and passions? Oh, of course, you don’t know what they are; you never thought that because you haven’t explored the possibilities!

Lion’s Gate Prosperity Transmutation🔻💚🦁

Access full reading + cards on Patreon🌸

☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.

Paradigm Reset for ⛲Air Signs

👯Gemini – 8 of Wands Rx

Chile, babe. First of all, you’ve got to chill. You know you tend to be hasty when making decisions, but that’s mostly because you’re high-strung like a chipmunk. You’re dead afraid of missing out on opportunities, but also, you’re afraid of being seen as boring by others. That’s kinda stupid, all things considered. Why make decisions based on other people’s view of your personality? Where’s your integrity? Second of all, when deciding on your own Life Path, the decision has to be yours, authentically and honourably. And please stop lying so much; think before you say anything out of your ass. Because as much as you’ve told white lies just to please/appease others, at the end of the day, people aren’t so stupid and when they’ve seen how unreliable your words are, you’ll only rack up more disrespect from them. And those of you who are pathological liars, please just shut up and stop ruining other people’s lives.

⚖️Libra – 9 of Wands Rx

Can you ever say ‘no’, like, in a genuine way? No? What’s the matter with you? You aren’t responsible for creating heaven on earth for other people! What about yourself?! Do you think others show you the kind of care you’ve given them? You’re like everybody’s good luck charm, but when you need some care, nobody steps up to give you the comfort you need. BUT, this isn’t entirely other people’s fault, either. Most other people are indeed preoccupied with creating their own heaven on earth, that’s why most of the time, most people can’t extend the kind of help or attention you’re craving. Perhaps you need to learn to give all of that to yourself first, how about that? Like, give 70% to yourself and the rest for others; not the other way around. You’d be surprised with just how many people you’re gonna lose if you maintain this ATTITUDE. But you’ll end up a lot happier that way because… let’s continue in the bonus content.

🏺Aquarius – 7 of Cups Rx

I don’t know what you’ve been doing recently, but if you’re reading this, you’re totally on the brink of manifesting something real big. Something important to your spiritual and emotional health. Something that brings clarity to all other areas of your Life. And here’s the thing: you manifested this because you’re finally clear about what’s truly important in your Life; and you’ve remained devoted to manifesting only that desired result. That’s super and I congratulate you on whatever big changes you’ve manifested!🥳If you’re only vaguely resonating with this, because you know you haven’t put in the work, the reading still applies in a different way. You’re being asked to make a final decision and then stick to it until you make manifest that desired result. Time to quit being wishy washy, choose a fucking priority and put in some work into getting the gears moving. Grow some spine and whatever empire you’re building, you’ve got this!🦾

Lion’s Gate Prosperity Transmutation🔻💙🦁

Access full reading + cards on Patreon🌸

☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.

Paradigm Reset for 🐝Water Signs

🦀Cancer – 3 of Cups Rx

Honey, you sure your friendships aren’t fake? Your friends, family, co-workers, whatever… if interacting with them drains your spiritual energy, especially because you aren’t allowed the space to be authentic, you sure you alright? Get out of that environment! Immediately! Expediently! If not physically just yet, at least interpersonally🌸You gotta protect your own energy because I think you’re often drained from trying to fit in so much. All that focus and energy wasted on trying to behave or look like someone you’re not. Then, when you’re in the company of no one else but yourself, you don’t even know anymore your true identity. This could lead you to a really bitter life ahead, so consider yourself warned🦩Trust this: there are healthy, respectful friendships out there in the world. And you’re totally capable of accessing that pool of consciousness if you stop giving yourself away to the entertainment of fake bitches!🦑

🦂Scorpio – 3 of Wands

Well, what can I say? Scorpios are enterprising peeps who know how to navigate the challenges of the world with S A S S🦚You have both the patience and the tenacity to endure the world’s darkness, and then you get going with whatever you wanna achieve in this world. You don’t even care what others have to say. I don't think I need to tell you how to reset your own paradigm because that shit already comes naturally to you🍂Perhaps I need only commend you on such amazing traits?🦂If there’s anything else to say, since your oracle is the Priestess of Purity, all I can say is that you must always remember the kindness that comes with being you. No matter what you’ve seen in this world and how that makes you feel, always remember that you’re not darkness itself just because you’re comfortable navigating it. Scorpios are actually the Light in the dark. Not many astrologers give you enough credit for that☄️

🎏Pisces – 7 of Pentacles

I always say: ‘If you a Pisces but you ain’t a bitch, what are you doing with your Life?!’ You’re just so fucking sensitive and quite literally, literally the zodiac’s biggest coward. You’re your own biggest saboteur because you think it’s bad to be bad. NO! The world’s bad. So you gotta be strong enough to persist and have your way in the world, even if that risks getting yourself called a bitch by others. At least you know why you’re persisting and you know you ain’t in the wrong. So when people accuse you of bad things you ain’t responsible for, you go up to them and tell ‘em straight in their face: you can go and fuck yourself. Thanks for coming to my TED Talk🦈Now go put on some nice makeup and feel like that bad bitch and take pictures😎You know my point is that you should stop being a pushover hahah If you only defend yourself when you’re near a point of breaking, that ain’t pretty because you’re showing those bastards that they’ve upset you. You don’t wanna let them have their way with your emotions like that, bitch.

Lion’s Gate Prosperity Transmutation🔻💛🦁

Access full reading + cards on Patreon🌸

☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.

Feel free to support me on Patreon if you love this kind of content🍑I create stories and tarot readings that calm the mind & heal from within🍒

[Back to Masterlist]

[greatunironic]

ok i know youre probably sick of these and im sorry in advance but i have a "most remarkable thing" question: does wanjeri ever get over her one sided blood feud with steve? bc on one hand like, totally get where she's coming from bc its super easy to be ride or die for one person and distrust the other when you only know a limited perspective of the whole story and with how dramatic eddie is i have zero doubt it's easy to get swept up in his heartache but on the other hand i'm like, damn, steve really can't win here! cut him some slack c'mon the man was also Going Through It he just wasn't singing about it!! + also how does eddie himself feel about the whole situation? bc i feel like having a close friend act like that about the love of your life without even really knowing them, even if it's because they want to protect you, probably wouldn't feel good or be good for your relationship in the long run. Anyways so sorry for the rambling, love this fic and can't wait to see more of this universe you've created! ♥♥

we will turn to alejandro for the short answer, which is “she’s gonna get over it if she knows what’s good for her.”

the longer answer: it takes her much shorter than she thinks it will. she’s prepared to hold this hurt in her heart for both her + ed, but the minute she sees them together —

shit, she thinks, watching steve watch ed across a crowded room at some party in the hollywoods hills, circa winter ‘03, surrounded by beautiful people hitting on steve (himself objectively movie star handsome even in his dorky ass sweater vest). and then eddie realizes he’s being watched? and eddie just — this smile on his fucking face, soft and gentle and shy — you know the scene in the film version of “tinker, tailor” where mark strong realizes colin firth is looking at him? that’s the shit i’m talking about. romancé!!!!!

wanjeri is watching them watch each other, and she’s seen ed make eyes at people, pick up dudes at bars, she’s watched him write lyric after lyric, rip his own heart from his chest on stage night after night —

but when she thinks about it, she doesn’t know if she’s ever seen him look happy, really + truly happy, and this, this moment right here?

if time travel was real, if she could, wanjeri would go back to 1989, when she’s wondering (not for the first time) who broke this poor boy’s heart — and she’d take young ed’s face in her hands and she’d tell him, “i get it now, i’m sorry i won’t for the longest time, but i get it — he’s worth it, you’re both worth it.”

(she tells ed later that she’s happy for him, and he hugs her, thanks her, tells her he knows how hard this is for her because she’s a big sister at heart, she only wants to keep him safe, and they both cry a little. then she says, “you know i have to dunk on you both for the rest of your lives though right? you wrote ballads for that asshole,” and ed’s like “oh no i know, i gotta give you our friend robin’s email, she’s been emotionally managing steve for years, the two of you can start a support group and also plan our roast.”)

[redrobin-detective]

but where have we come and where shall we end?

“Welcome students,” Wirt grinned as he dramatically underlined the class name on the chalkboard, “to Introduction to Folklore & Mythology! I will be your teacher, Wirt Palmer but please call me Wirt. Dr. Palmer makes me feel like one of those colorful comic book heroes.”

Scattered, awkward laughter in the crowd but Wirt wouldn’t let the tepid reaction get to him. He only got to teach F&M when there was an open spot both in his busy schedule and the college’s class electives. While he loved teaching his various other classes, this material really was his passion.

It’s a small group this year, only 9 students total. Wirt wasn’t surprised, after teaching for almost a decade he knows that the study of old fables seemed boring compared to the other electives offered. And while most of these students likely only ended up here because Modern Social Lit or Transformative Science Fiction was full, he still planned on making the most of it.

“We’ll go around and introduce ourselves to get started. Please note, this will be primarily a discussion based course so this will get you used to speaking up,” Wirt announced, leaning against the side of his desk. A goth dressed girl with purple streaked hair groaned and leaned over on her desk. “You already know my name. I’ve been teaching for 9 years total and here at the college for about 5. I’m married with two children and a younger brother who sometimes feels like a third kid.” More obligatory, bored smiles but Wirt pressed on.

“I believe I’ve taught most of the poetry and creative writing classes here at some point though I do teach early American history in the spring, the Monday, Wednesday, Friday 5-7pm class if you all aren’t sick to death of me come winter. I also am one of the overseers of marching band, as a few of you probably already know,” he winked at some of the band kids who fondly rolled their eyes. They probably took this class thinking he’d go easy on them but they had no idea.

“I double majored in history and creative writing, you know, back in the dinosaur ages. My historical area of expertise is American History with specialties in, you guessed it,” he tapped at the chalkboard where the class name was still written, “Folklore and mythology.”

“My thesis revolved around death in American and some European folk tales, on how it’s viewed and what it symbolizes. I bet that sounds pretty boring to you all,” he shrugged taking in the 9 vacant faces before him. “So here’s a fun fact to put things into perspective, when I was 14 and my brother 6, we almost died on Halloween night.”

A few students raised their eyebrows, sat a little straighter in their seats. He could almost feel their attention pulling more towards him and he rode it like a river into the night. “Yes, you heard me right. I was a foolish young kid once myself, we hopped over a graveyard wall, nearly missed getting hit by an oncoming train only to roll roughly down a steep hill and hit the nearby lake so hard that we were both unconscious instantly.” Cherie, trombone player, gulped and tugged at her turtleneck sympathetically.

“My brother, Greg, miraculously made it through the whole thing mostly unscathed, just some scratches and bruises. I broke two ribs and got enough water in my lungs to catch a bad case of pneumonia that kept me out of school for almost 3 weeks.” Wirt let his memories pull him back, just for a moment, thinking of the constant dull ache in his side he still felt on chilly days, especially around October. He thought of the choking water, the creeping shadows and death that almost claimed him and Greg both.

“We were under the water for about 10 or so minutes. Now 10 minutes is both an instant and an eternity when your life is hanging in the balance. And when your body is caught in between, both clinging to life and in the process of shutting down, sometimes we see things we can’t explain.”

Wirt turned and drew on the board a bit, he wasn’t half the artist Greg was but he’d been drawing these faces and figures for most of his life that it was almost rote. The pumpkin covered skeletons and their leader, Enoch. A schoolhouse of animals playing music. A sweet, shy girl who became a monster. His fingers trembled as they always did when he drew the Beast’s branching antlers and clawed hand reaching out, as if still hoping to coax Wirt into a hellish deal. He turned back to his students but he wasn’t really seeing them.

“My brother and I had something most people would call a shared hallucination. The details don’t match up entirely, Greg’s version slightly differs from my own but we experienced something under that water that logic and reason has yet to explain.” He cleared his throat, forcing himself back to the present and out of the dark, dark wood that always lingered on the periphery of his vision. 

“Death is the Unknown,” Wirt smiled at his own private joke. “It’s the one thing people of every era and culture have yet to fully understand. But sometimes we get glimpses, little echoes of something bigger than ourselves and when confronted something so incomprehensible, we do what humans have always done: we tell stories. The folktales and myths we will be reading and discussing this semester are our ancestors trying to put into words something that doesn’t fully exist, something that lies over the garden wall and into...” mansions so big they were connected, a cottage in the field lying in wait as a spider’s web, an old abandoned mill where nightmares lived. But those memories were for the past and perhaps the far future, for now he only cared for the present.

“The point of this class will not be memorizing passages or anything like that. It will be about finding the people and their stories behind the tales they left behind for us. What were they trying to say? What were they warning us about? What stories do we have now that wish to use to guide our great-great grandchildren?” His class stared at him with wide eyes, “if that doesn’t suit your tastes I’m pretty sure Ms. Michelson's Romantic Lit still has a few open spots. I’ll fill out the class transfer form myself, so, any takers?” Not one student stood to go, they hardly seemed to move, as if frozen to their seats. But they looked interested, if a bit unnerved. Just how Wirt wanted them.

He clapped his hands and broke the heavy pall that had fallen over the classroom. “Well that’s more than enough about me and my trauma, we’ll go in alphabetical order. Tell me your name, current major, astrology sign, favorite author and what sort of stories you would wish to pass on.” 

Wirt listened attentively to the answers as they slowly opened up and soon he wasn’t even commenting much anymore as the students began their own enthusiastic discussion. This was going to be a good class, a good semester. His attention was drawn towards the window where a cold front was blowing in. It was only September but October would be upon them soon enough. And with the changing seasons came old aches, older fears and shadows that seemed to grow larger every year.

He and Greg may have escaped the Unknown but they brought a little bit of it back with them. One day, they would find themselves drowning once more in that inky blackness but with no surface to escape to. Wirt wasn’t afraid, anxious perhaps but not afraid. It would be good to see Beatrice again. But before he went back to that unending forest, hopefully a long, long time from now, he had work to do here on Earth. 

He had a wife and two sons to spoil, a younger brother to try and corral and be inspired by. Wirt had his unfinished book about that fateful Halloween night he never could seem to finish and he had students to teach. He couldn’t teach about what it meant to live or die or exist somewhere in between on a paddlewheel boat driven by frogs. But he could teach the stories that touched just a shadow of those impossible concepts and maybe they could learn the things it took death and rebirth for him to understand. 

“Rebecca, back up a second, we’re going to cover the origins of many of these tales and we will get into what inspired certain stories. On that note, open up your books to page 12. We’re going to dive right in folks, I sure hope you know how to swim because the water is deeper than it looks.”

[cloudmancy]

you guys sent in SO MANY asks and I physically cannot respond to all of them so I’ll post (most) of them at once. I am like a little messaging service an anonymous ruehob confessions blog of a sort... you are welcome... discussion goes in the reblogs/comments

[ID: anon ask reading “ruehob isnt really a like concept of acutal partners to me its just an exploration of regency tropes and dynamics... like i dont understand making like fluff post-canon stuff for them because it feels like the relationship is intentionally pretty shallow because its more about the narrative tension than either of them as Real People in a Real Relationship. theyre here to check the boxes of a dramatic regency romance and that is very fun like i love it but its also not really ABOUT if theyre gonna have a good life after the show”]

[ID: anon ask reading “personally i like ruehob but its true its literally because people hate women and wuvvy deserves so so so much better... i was kinda sad that aabria didn't address wuvvy's side in the AP and just made it out to be like a "ooh fun and drama" thing but maybe it's bc she didn't want to dive deep into it yet and i REALLY hope wuvvy will like. get to make a statement to rue or smth because she deserves FAR better at this point. i know the wuvvy neglect from rue's side might be because the player's have way too many interactions to go through but LORD!!!!!!! its not even supporting womens wrongs at this point bc like wuvvy DESERVES to do at least that much if she's been treated like this :| anyway people will stay hating women and prioritising ~ romance ~ over all else its maddening to see”]

[ID: anon ask reading “could be my years of reading fanfiction but the miscommunication trope are the reason that ruehob are acting like middle schoolers with a crush who they have only talked to twice and saying "they love them" is why they feel like an unfulfilling ship”]

[ID: anon ask reading “not to join the crowd but thank you for putting words to my inarticulate dissatisfaction w ruehob 😭😭 it felt very sudden and maneuvered into place and narratively dissatisfying, like they were trying to hit tropes rather than craft a satisfying romance into the story. there was no buildup!! there was one scene that led to contrived drama for several episodes and now they love each other. it could have been a really fun narrative about an infatuation between two powerful fey and the hearts they trample on in the process, but it's not being framed like that (or, y'know, they could've given their characters a history together). you're right about wuvvy/binx though, i'm a simple lesbian ready to get deeply invested in this”]

[ID: anon ask reading “i gotta thank you homie, after scrolling through your blog it's helped me put my finger on why i'm not as about ruehobb as everyone else seems to be and also that wuvvy can destroy folks, as a treat tbh”]

[ID: anon ask reading “insane take maybe but the ruehob of it all isn't about the long-term relationship- it's about the experience of one person making you reconsider everything. rue and hob do fall fast and hard and their relationship is a catalyst for self-growth more than it is sustainable, which I kind of like tbh and find relevant to at least my queer experience. we don't know what hob (and rue to an extent) would actually be Like because he doesn't know that, because he's never given himself the chance. wuvvy is stable and confident in her identity in a way that rue and hob aren't, and so their dumpster fire mess of longing and repression looks insane and unappealing to her, but I do think it's compelling to watch from our perspective. the issue comes in when every fan acts like they are soulmates who are going to be together 4ever and it's like. we don't know! these people haven't been themselves ever, really, we don't know! I think in AP7 brennan said that he intentionally put a seed of growth in hob that he needed to confront his relationship with his court and duty, etc, and rue just happened to slot perfectly in. it's not about it being rue specifically, it's about the self-discovery of realizing you can be loved, that there is something deeper than orders, as he says. same goes for rue: it's not about the specifics of hob, it's about wanting something and Not putting cordiality and safety and appearances first”]

[ID: anon ask reading “remember when hob was like rue doesn’t actually love me i was just there at a good time. i was sitting here thinking man…i WISH, that’d be way more interesting. anyway to each their own but ruewuvvy rights”]

[horsesarecreatures]

Book review: Guardians of the Gate by Vincent N. Parrillo

I really didn't like this one. It’s primarily about immigrant exploitation and the politics that shaped Ellis Island.  My grandma had this copy signed by the author, who was the writer/narrator/executive producer of the famous PBS documentary Ellis Island: Gateway to America, and passed it along to me. I’d tried reading it a couple of years ago but abandoned it after about 30 pages because I found it quite boring. I tried again and finished it solely because other books I ordered hadn't come in yet and the library was closed.

It takes place shortly after 1881, when immigration in the US shifted from primarily protestant working families and the Irish to single unskilled Italian and Jewish men. It’s based on real people who worked at Ellis Island. It started with the commissioner Joseph Henry Senner, who was hard working and made some improvements like improving fire safety. He failed, however, to get a lot of corruption under control even though he didn’t condone it. Then he was replaced by Thomas Fitchie, who was just a figurehead and had little involvement with the day to day operations. Corruption and immigrant exploitation abounded under him. Finally, William Williams replaced Fitchie and fired a lot of staff members, finally getting things more under control.

The main character in the book was a doctor called Matt Stafford. He worked under all 3 commissioners. He was more or less an ally of the immigrants and took the job because he found working with people of all different backgrounds interesting, but for a supposedly smart man he was oblivious to things like the rapes and blackmailing for money under threat of deportation that other staff members were perpetrating.

Matt had an ailing wife named Peg that he supposedly loved. Then he had an affair with a nurse named Nicole and kept it up even as Peg was dying (insisting that he still loved Peg as well). The synopsis of the book is misleading because it says, “After an Ellis Island doctor becomes entangled in a passionate affair, he witnesses crime and corruption among immigration officials that lead to dramatic changes.” But the reality is that in the book he was completely oblivious to what was going on, and never suspected some of the main predators on the island. He also reported no one and had nothing to do with the political changes; that was all Williams. It was hard to understand why he was the main character, to be honest.

Here are other reasons why I did not like this book:

- Horrible portrayal of women for a book published in 2011. They were all so beautiful and feminine and slim and demure and young and petite. Not one that was mentioned for more than a page did not sleep with one of the male characters. The author insists that the nurse Nicole Devereaux was based on a real person and he only took some liberties for dramatic purposes, but the fact of the matter is that I read more about her nipples than her personality or anything she did. I could tell that in real life Parillo must not see women as useful for anything other than sex.

- The narration was really boring. 3rd person with not a ton of dialogue, and when there was dialogue, it was mostly small talk.

- Lots of incidents that could have been interesting, like several immigrants throughout the book attacking Dr. Stafford (possibly mistaking him for one of the corrupt officials?), being randomly mentioned then not explored. 

- Even though it was about immigrants, it could have focused on their perspective  a lot more. None of the main characters other than Senner were immigrants, and he was different from most that went through the island because he had come to the US already appointed to a high position. Also, none of the immigrants that passed through the island and met the main characters were reoccurring characters.

[blackswaneuroparedux]

Wolfpackdueno asked: Interested to read your thoughts / perspectives on Russia’s (or rather Putin’s) moves in Ukraine if you care to share. In your view Where might this lead? How is the EU as a bloc and NATO as an alliance likely to respond in the coming months or perhaps years? Might Putin have over extended himself at home?

Of course since the time lapse between you asking this question and me (finally) getting around to answering it a lot has happened obviously. To try and predict the outcome is a fool’s game as we all know. Working in the corporate world now I have peers and colleagues scrambling to get ahead of the curve of the chaos in the money, energy, and commodity markets as well as divesting out of any business in Russia itself. It’s scary what’s going on currently. Uncertainty is making many piss in their pants.

Remembering my Thucydides he said Αμαθία μεν θράσος, λογισμός δε όκνον φέρει. (ignorance is bold, knowledge is reserved) I can only speculate because there are so many moving parts to this and of course things can change dramatically on a daily basis as we are seeing. 

May I get something off my chest first?

I see a lot of people online who love to be armchair generals and indulge in what the Americans say ‘Monday morning quarterbacking’. To them it’s a meme war or an opportunity to show what they learned from playing grand strategy games like ‘Risk’. Many also commit the cardinal sin of seeing the Ukrainian crisis through their own domestic political lens and can only understand it in those myopic terms. The danger here is that the war isn’t real for them as it doesn’t really touch them on a deeply human level. We can’t be cavalier about the human toll of war. Some of the scenes destruction and of fleeing refugees in fear of their lives have been heart breaking to see.

Vladimir Putin’s pointless war has already led to thousands of people losing their lives, suffering from life-changing injuries or left traumatised by their experiences, along with the destruction of Ukrainian homes and infrastructure. Throughout Europe refugees wonder about when they will be able to return home and what they will find when they get there. There is more tragedy to come. This is why the search for some sort of cease-fire is growing, though it is still hard to see the form it can take so long as President Putin sticks to his most ambitious objectives; despite his forces being further away than they were at the start of the war from being able to meet them.

Speaking as an ex-army veteran of the Afghan war with frontline battlefield experience, there is a tendency to neglect these costs of war when seeking to make sense of the strategies adopted by both sides, for this does require dispassionate analysis, putting aside wishful thinking and emotion. Unless we are personally confronted with the human suffering of war, we have to work extra hard to always understand that the human dimension must always be kept in mind. We are not looking down on a chessboard with otherwise inanimate pieces being moved by some strategic grandmaster according to some clever plan. Those being moved have their own perspectives and agency, their own motives and anxieties.

The decisions of numerous individuals will determine how this war ends. Can Ukrainian civilians remain steadfast in the face of merciless Russian bombardment? Can the apparently high Ukrainian morale be sustained through a major setback? Can they keep the arms supply corridor of Javelin anti-tank missiles open from neighbouring countries such as Poland to arm the resistance and fight the bogged down Russian army? And on the Russian side, what happens as people realise that they have been misled about the war’s purpose and that their young men have died in an exercise in futility? How are soldiers, many conscripts, responding to the frightening and unexpected situation in which they find themselves? What about officers, alarmed about their lost men and equipment and lack of reserves, unable either to fulfil their orders or to retreat? How do Putin’s courtiers, aware that the war is going badly, explain to their leaders the dire consequences of the current strategy? And then there is Putin. At some point will it dawn on him that he has failed in the greatest gamble of his career?

Distant observers should be cautious when seeking to predict the responses of those caught up in these events, but these intangible considerations are already influencing events and will continue to do so, along with the more tangible considerations of force levels, firepower, mobility and logistics.

At this moment, the most likely outcome of the war is a pyrrhic Russian victory. I wish it were otherwise.

I’ve been reading much nonsense in the MSM that Ukraine can actually win. Hmm, no. If by ‘win’ they mean a complete reversal with Russians running back to Moscow with the Ukrainians militarily handing their arse on a plate then no, that’s just wishful nonsense. Putin has the weapons to prevail militarily in the initial conflict and also beyond.

Even if the Ukrainian government loses control of the capital and is forced to flee, and the command systems for Ukrainian forces start to break down, that does not mean that Russia has won the war. It is only a mind-set that fails to understand the wellsprings of Ukraine’s national identity that could believe that a compliant figure could be installed as Ukrainian president and expect to last for very long without the backing of an occupation force. Russia simply does not have the numbers and capacity to sustain such a force for any length of time. One would have thought that with the memories of the Orange Revolution of 2004-5 and the Euromaidan of 2013-14 that Putin would have some appreciation of the role that ‘people power’ can play in this country, unless again he believes his own propaganda that these movements were manipulated into existence by the Americans and their allies.

Ukraine shares a land border with NATO and equipment can pass through to Ukrainian regular forces so long as they are fighting - and then to an anti-Russian insurgency should this conflict move to that stage. This is why it is important not to focus solely on whether Russia achieves it military objectives.

The real question is how Russia holds what it can seize against civilian resistance and insurgency. But also how Putin plans to build a remotely stable or legitimate puppet government atop the rubble is hard to see. Russia cannot win this war in any meaningful sense. A protracted occupation of a vengeful Ukraine will weaken Russia economically and geopolitically (it already has).

The invasion itself has already inspired heightened interest in both NATO and EU membership among Russia’s unaligned neighbours. So far Nato has played it well. There is a danger of escalation of the fighting to direct clashes between Nato and Russia as calls mount for a “no-fly” zone by the Ukrainians. Nato has resisted for the very good reason that it would play into Putin’s hands. Putin would have the perfect excuse to decry to his own people that he is defending Ukraine from Nato forces as a justification for continued hostilities.

Nato then has emerged stronger than ever, with Finland and Sweden now thinking of joining. The most remarkable change has occurred in Germany, which previously had been Russia’s biggest friend in Europe. By announcing a doubling of the German defence budget and willingness to supply arms to Ukraine, Chancellor Olaf Scholz has reversed decades of German foreign policy and thrown his country wholeheartedly into the struggle against Putin’s imperialism. The three traditional powerhouses of Europe, Great Britain, France and Germany will work together to reassert themselves militarily, politically, and economically against future Russian intransigence. 

Putin is already facing an extraordinary amount of domestic dissent, given how aggressively his regime punishes subversion. Multiple Russian celebrities have criticised the war. Last week, a municipality in central Moscow condemned it as a source of “shame” that “cannot be washed away.” In an apparent sign of the regime’s insecurity, Russian authorities took Moscow’s leading radio station off the air Tuesday while restricting access to the website of a major television station. Meanwhile, there are scattered reports of Russian soldiers surrendering en masse or sabotaging their vehicles to avoid combat.

It is therefore conceivable that a combination of mass infantry defections and domestic unrest might lead Putin to accept a negotiated settlement that leaves the bulk of Ukrainian territory under Kyiv’s wholly independent authority.

Yet precisely because Putin’s strategic interests have been so thoroughly degraded over recent events, this endgame seems less likely than not. After this war, a genuinely sovereign Ukraine - especially one shorn of its most pro-Russian, eastern provinces — is certain to be more hostile to Russia and more closely aligned with the West than it was before the conflict commenced. In other words, a truly independent Ukraine has never been a more threatening prospect to the Kremlin than it is now. So long as Putin remains in power, and Russia retains overwhelming military dominance over Ukraine, it’s hard to see Putin granting Ukrainians’ anything more than a heavily circumscribed sovereignty. Perhaps, if Russian forces are sufficiently bloodied, Putin might be willing to countenance an independent Kyiv that is formally committed to “neutrality” between Russia and the West. Should Ukraine make that concession, however, they will have suffered a form of defeat.

The other route to Ukraine’s triumph would be for the present crisis to trigger Putin’s overthrow. If this is the best-case scenario, from a liberal internationalist perspective, it lies in close proximity to the worst-case scenario; dictators who feel their grip on power slipping are not known for their martial restraint. How a tyrant with access to a large nuclear arsenal might behave with his back against the wall is not a fun question to contemplate.

Regardless, this scenario strikes me as extremely unlikely. Two decades into Putin’s reign, Russia’s oligarchic elite is now dominated by men who owe their wealth to state-run banks and energy concerns rather than to independent fortunes. Their dependence on Putin’s good graces and the stability of his kleptocratic regime is overwhelming. According to close associates of the oligarchs any form of dissent among the Russian business elite has become a distant prospect as Putin’s power becomes near-absolute. Meanwhile, ordinary Russians are so thoroughly disenfranchised by Putin’s repressive state, it would be extremely difficult for them to foment the leader’s ouster, even if he didn’t enjoy a significant degree of popular support.

It is possible for Putin to slide away from defeat by claiming victory against more realistic goals. After all Saddam Hussein led Iraq into two disastrous wars – when he invaded Iran in 1980 and seized Kuwait a decade later. At the end of both, with nothing to show for all the consequential death and destruction, he nonetheless claimed victory because somehow, he had personally managed to survive in power. As Putin is forced to move away from his maximum aims will that minimum one also come to be his priority? If so, then expect that when parties are forced to the negotiating table Russia will secure for itself the Crimea and take home the consolation prize of the two rebel republics of Donetsk and Luhansk in Ukraine’s eastern rust belt. He may even get Ukraine to guarantee that it would never join either the EU or NATO. In other words to be a little like Finland as a buffer between Western Europe and Russia. In the here and now, Putin can deliver a defeat to the Ukrainians, but not a victory to his own people.

If both Russia and Ukraine appear poised to lose this war, the same holds true of the world at large. One can perhaps find silver linings if one squints. It is possible that the West’s demonstrable willingness to subordinate prosperity to the defence of a democracy will reduce the probability of a Chinese invasion of Taiwan.

In the immediate term, though, the cost of food and energy is set to surge for consumers worldwide. In the world’s poorest regions, such inflation is liable to have a body count. Russia and Ukraine are collectively responsible for roughly 30 percent of the world’s wheat and 19 percent of its corn. They are also major suppliers of fertiliser at a time when global crop production is already suffering for a lack of that critical input. In Afghanistan, millions were already at risk of famine before the current spike in food prices. Sanctions and warfare are all but certain to depress Russian and Ukrainian agricultural production for some time to come.

For Russia thought it’s even more bad news. People forget that Russia is a small country. From an economic perspective, that is. According to the IMF the gross domestic product (GDP) of Russia amounted to $1,648 billion in 2021. This is about the same size as the combined GDP of Belgium ($582 billion) and the Netherlands ($1,008 billion) in the same year. Even if you add those two countries together, you still have a small country. Russia’s GDP represents barely 10% of the EU’s GDP. Russia is an economic dwarf in Europe. Can such a small country win an intense war against a country that is resisting tooth and nail and that will have to be occupied for a long time? My answer is no. Russia does not have the resources to do so.

To win such a war, Russia will have to drastically increase its military spending. Russia today spends about $62 billion (about 4% of its GDP) on the military. That’s 8% of US military spending. Such a military budget will not be sufficient to continue waging an intense and protracted war. More military spending will have to be made. But military spending is economically wasted. The tanks and combat aircraft that must be produced to wage the war are investments that are economically useless. This contrasts with investments in machines (and other production factors) that make it possible to produce more in the future. Tanks and fighters will not allow one extra ruble of production in the future. They will, however, crowd out productive investment. The economically small country that Russia is today will therefore become even smaller in the future.

Instead of cutting back on productive investment, the Russian dictator could cut consumption in Russia to make way for more military spending. The fact that Russia has such a small GDP while the country has 146 million inhabitants (more than 5 times the population of Belgium plus the Netherlands) hides the fact that most Russians live in relative poverty. Putin will have to push them even further into poverty to realise his megalomaniac ambitions. It is doubtful whether this policy will strengthen his dictatorship.

There are other effects to be expected from a policy that pushes a country into a war economy. The incomes earned in the war industry will not be able to be spent on consumer goods because these are in short supply. As a result, inflation will rise sharply. The temptation will be great to introduce price controls. The result is known: rationing and scarcity. Paradoxically, this will fulfil Putin’s ambition: a return to the Soviet Union with its long waiting lines in front of the shops.

Russia is economically a small country; it is also an underdeveloped country. It has a production structure of a typical African country. The country mainly exports raw materials and energy (gas and crude oil). They make up 80% of Russian exports. Imports are concentrated in manufacturing products (machinery, transport equipment, electronics, chemicals, pharmaceuticals). Those products represent more than three quarters of total Russian imports.

The problem with such an underdeveloped country is that export earnings are subject to large fluctuations. Today, energy and commodity prices are very high. That has allowed Russia to pile up more than $600 billion in international reserves (dollars, euros, pounds, gold). It has also boosted the budgetary revenues of the Russian government. But those are temporary effects. They have created the illusion that Russia has the resources to wage a protracted war.

It is already clear that this is an illusion. About half of these international reserves are now being frozen by the punitive measures imposed by Western countries. This also makes clear how dependent an underdeveloped country is on the Western powers that control the international financial system. The vast stock of international reserves now available to Russia is not a source of power, but its Achilles heel.

Western nations unprecedented financial sanctions on Russia, include the country’s central bank, which have the potential to decimate its economy. Experts say they amount to full-scale financial warfare of an unheard-of nature and scope. At the same time, it has orchestrated a cultural and sporting boycott, imposing a broad-based sense of isolation on Russian society.

Weary of its own endless wars, the Anglo-European West is now pioneering a new kind of ‘hybrid’ war. ‘Hybrid war’ or the ‘grey zone’ is a much debated concept beloved in some Western military strategic circles. Western governments are now trying to turn that interconnectedness against Putin, making use of their control over the international financial system and the ability of their societies to create powerful narratives that are spread on social media. The impact of the financial sanctions has been swift and severe. Russians have now started queueing outside banks to withdraw their money and the rouble has gone into freefall, forcing the Russian central bank to more than double interest rates to 20 per cent to buttress the local banking industry. The Russian currency has lost over 30 per cent of its value, falling to near record lows against the US dollar. JPMorgan is forecasting that Russian gross domestic product will collapse by 35 per cent in the second quarter of this year. The sanctions are so draconian that they could even push Russia into its first government debt default since the country’s ruinous 1998 crisis - largely due to the West in practice “weaponising” its dominance over the world’s financial architecture.

Up to now the west has seemed careful to carve energy supplies out of sanctions. But that will change I am sure once the US takes the lead on banning oil imports and the rest will follow. 

Oil and gas receipts are vital to Russia, which is the world’s largest energy exporter. It ships about 5mn barrels a day of crude oil - about half of which goes to Europe - and a further 2.7mn barrels of petroleum products, according to traders. In total, energy export receipts were more than $235bn in 2021, according to the Institute of International Finance, generating close to half of Russia’s export revenue. So sanctions on Russian oil would threaten this source of income for Moscow, even if it were able to continue to sell cargoes to China and other countries that are yet to take a clear stance on the invasion of Ukraine. Putin and China’s leader Xi Jinping unveiled $118bn of new oil and gas deals when they met at the Beijing Winter Olympics last month, just weeks before Russia’s invasion of Ukraine began. However, some analysts argued that given that about two-thirds of crude buyers appear to be boycotting Russia, a formal embargo would have a limited immediate impact. In effect corporates are already self-sanctioning because they don’t want to be on the US naughty list and be open to sanction breaking reprisals. In other words they are already behaving as if Russian oil is being sanctioned. Indeed roughly 70 per cent of Russian crude was struggling to find buyers.

Russian slaughter of Ukrainian civilians obliges the West to intensify sanctions as well as to arm the resistance. The US is right to threaten Russia with an oil export embargo and I hope they do announce it this week. The US of course would be less affected than the European , especially Germany and so any blanket ban will hurt Europe more. One option would be for western countries to ratchet down oil imports rather than ban them immediately. This is better than simply imposing a stoppage on all energy exports without warning. The case is different to freezing the assets of the Russian central bank. The Western allies needed to move on this immediately to reduce Russia’s capacity to make precautionary sales of its assets. Gold and bonds represent a stock of value. Oil exports, in contrast, are a continuous flow of income. The Anglo-European West can impose sanctions if Russia refuses to de-escalate and negotiate. This might also lead Russia to the negotiating table.

This is the hidden power of hybrid warfare - financial warfare in an increasingly interconnected world. And it will play a major part in any future war against any other aggressor, such as China - although the effects will be vastly different to what Russia is being subjected to. But this is a discussion for another time.

Russia’s invasion of Ukraine has turned the Kremlin into a global pariah. Russia’s isolation from Europe will not be easily done without massive concessions from Russia. Evictions from global sport and European competitions add to the internal cost on Putin by wounding Russian pride, which will not be so easy to undo. When the war eventually drifts away from the headlines, Russia will lobby to reduce its isolation and may make some progress. Russia will certainly seek to turn to China and other autocratic states. Indeed, some Middle East states, such as the United Arab Emirates, have already resisted isolating Russia. But Russia’s diplomatic desperation and the reputational costs of partnering with the country means that other nations will seek significant concessions. After 2014, Russia cut gas deals with China, but found that China drove a very hard bargain. Russia can expect China and others to do the same.

The war has caused a dramatic shift in Europe that will lead its leading powers becoming major military power. From the Kremlin’s perspective, it has significantly worsened its security environment. Every country will up its defence budget and this increase in spending will enable countries like France and Britain, but Germany especially, to increase the woeful readiness of its forces and critically acquire new advanced military capabilities. Germany will, in just a few years, likely become a major global military power. As for the European Union I doubt it will be a major player. The European Union’s provision of 500 million euros of lethal security assistance - an astonishing amount - is not something to be sniffy about. But I firmly believe in realpolitik and I expect the real power will always reside in Berlin, Paris, and London as they will drive any co-ordinated response to the Russian bear on its borders.

Perhaps this is an unfashionable opinion but it’s fair to say that western democracies have stood up and taken incredibly strong and unprecedented steps, including sanctions, military aid, boycotts, and admitting refugees. The world has made clear that reckless, unprovoked invasions of a sovereign state will come with tremendous costs and will backfire. This response will make other countries think long and hard before taking on similar imperial wars of conquest. I hope for us who enjoy the freedom and privileges of living in a western civilised country it is a wake up call for us too. I hope we come to value all that is best in our society. I hope we learn the valuable lesson that hostile powers are always prowling at the door and if they perceive our society to be weak, divided, and conflict-ridden with our petulant culture wars then we deserve to come under the jack boot. The Ukrainians, more than any other people, have shown what true courage is.

War can produce breathtaking heroism and heartbreaking solidarity. But it primarily generates waste and suffering. Vladimir Putin has committed a grave crime against the entire world. The near certainty that he will lose this war is cold comfort, given the probability that everyone else will too.

Thanks for your question.

[lazyyogi]

Do you fear death brother and how can one enjoy life when you know the inevitable for your dear ones and yourself, not forgetting the uncertainty?

Can it be said that you are enjoying life if you are willfully ignorant of one of its most essential and defining features?

The fear of death is what inspired my entrance into spirituality.

From the fourth grade up until the end of high school, I was enthralled by the supernatural. All things occult and esoteric captured my fascination. I practiced many different magical arts.

The summer before my senior year of high school, my father died from melanoma. And while it devastated me in many ways, one of the most profound problems with which it left me was that of mortality. My father's early death forced me to meet impermanence and mortality.

That's when I began seeking. I wasn't interested in answers; I wanted direct insight and understanding. By some grace this led me to meditation.

Even before my father died, as a child I would sometimes lay in bed at night contemplating death and feeling a great terror.

That fear continued to fuel my spiritual practice with intensity and urgency. There was no time to figure these things out later because later is death.

All of this came to a climax during a shroom trip in college. I had heard the term "unborn" used to describe awareness before yet never really thought much of it. However, it was during the shroom trip while staring at a bush for a solid three hours that I had a sudden insight into that teaching. Consciousness relates to the brain and therefore has a beginning and ending in relation to the brain--at least as far as I can tell. But awareness, that which knows consciousness and its different states, was never born. What is never born will never die.

After this experience, my fear of death dramatically decompressed.

It came as no surprise, therefore, when I later saw research articles about psilocybin being studied for its therapeutic value in providing terminally ill patients a sense of relief and ease. It is not that I recommend doing shrooms; that is for the individual to decide after careful consideration. But I can tell you that when I first did shrooms, I was quite surprised by how similar it felt to meditation. Granted, I had been a meditator for years at that time. Not all or even most people who try such substances have the same experience with it.

The fact of death is a central teaching in every spiritual tradition. Buddhism in particular emphasizes that it is by contemplating death that the mind and heart will turn towards seeking truth. This is what the Buddha experienced and what I too experienced. Death provides authentic perspective.

"In a world where death is the hunter, my friend, there is no time for regrets or doubts. There is only time for decisions." ~ Castaneda

"Death is the only wise advisor that we have. Whenever you feel, as you always do, that everything is going wrong and you're about to be annihilated, turn to your death and ask if that is so. Your death will tell you that you're wrong; that nothing really matters outside its touch. Your death will tell you, 'I haven't touched you yet.” ~ Castaneda

"The real does not die the unreal never lived." ~ Nisargadatta

It is when we willfully ignore death and think we have endless amounts of time that we allow pettiness, division, indolence, distraction, and entertainment to shape our daily moments. It is also how we allow the ongoing destruction of this planet.

If you feel okay about death, if it doesn't make you sad at times, then you are likely fooling yourself. The reality of death should always keep us sharp and prod our heart-minds awake. It should make us feel tender sad love for those dear to us.

I always tell someone who is lacking motivation to practice meditation that they need to visit a hospital, an old age home, and a graveyard. They need to get it through their thick heads that this is going to be them, and much sooner than they may think.

Don't wait for later. Practice now, today. Practice spirituality, practice love, practice until every profound realization spoken of by all buddhas throughout history become your own direct knowing.

LY

[ariesjupiter]

Mitski Birth Chart Reading

This is just my interpretation based on Mitski’s birth chart and what I know of her music. Let me know if you have any suggestions of someone I should make a post on next! If you’re interested, I offer natal chart readings, just check my pinned post!

Libra sun: In terms of basic personality and ego, Mitski is focused on creating balanced, harmonic relationships. Intimate, one-on-one relationships are a major part of her identity. Libra is ruled by venus which represents love and beauty. After all, she is known for her lyrics relating to her romantic relationships. The lyric “I love everybody because I love you” is so profoundly Libra to me. She is friendly and charming. She sees herself reflected and other people and people see themselves reflected in her (for better or worse). Venus also rules the arts and Mitski is a natural artist in every sense of the word. Her music sonically is very unique, inventive, and creative as she experiments with mixing different genres. This is influenced by her sun in the 11th house. Sun in the 11th house also indicates an emphasis on friendships and memberships of certain groups and communities. It also indicates an importance of her hopes and dreams. Her sun in 3° explains why she is such a talented writer, communicator, and lyricist. Peak libra sun culture: “Young adult romance is the shit” (a real quote from the queen herself). And let’s not forget her iconic quote from 2016: “I’m a libra so my sexuality is essentially “you can really be any gender as long as you treat me like a princes.” Truer words have never been spoken.

Capricorn moon: Despite how personal her music is, Mitski is a rather private and reserved person, particularly when it comes to expressing her emotions. Also, Capricorn is associated with the father and she has been known to be especially private regarding her dad’s career. She is serious and intense with emotions but can sometimes get detached. The emphasis is on having control over her feelings. She is ambitious and a practical person. Her emotions are connected to her career. Those who do not know her well may see her as cold. In temperament she tends to be melancholic. Emotionally mature and wise beyond her years. Straightforward and honest with her expression. She is dependable, loyal, hard working, & realistic. Emotional fulfillment is often tied to achievement and success. Her moon in the 2nd house and 2° suggests material comforts make her feel safe. With the 2nd house being associated with venus, she is able to express her emotions in an artistic way. Could be protective over material objects. Sentimental. Music has a big impact on her emotions and mood. Peak capricorn moon culture: “I didn’t really feel anything. I’ve stopped feeling things for a long time” - Mitski, The Fader Interview, 2017. In all seriousness, I hope my capricorn moons are doing good.

Virgo mercury: Mitski is practical and detail oriented when it comes to communication and matters of learning. She takes the time to choose the right words to convey her thoughts. She is clear and concise. Mercury is in its sign of rulership here. Her mercury in the 10th house suggests that she will be known for her communication style. Has a lot of thoughts but is also organized. Analytical. Mitski likes making lists. Loves to give advice. Mercury is in 16° (cancer degree) and she has a soft spoken voice. Talks about the past and her roots (cancerian themes).

Virgo venus: In love, Mitski will assume a caretaking role and will gladly help her partner finish mundane tasks and chores. A devoted and faithful lover. Love is about the mundane and routine details of life. Love is about service. Acts of service tend to be virgo venus’ main love language. She wants to help improve her partner’s life. She is patient and observant. Values love that is simple and authentic. Appreciates a partner with whom she can have intellectual conversations. May have a tendency to be too critical on herself when it comes to love. Venus rules aesthetics & style and she tends to have a modest fashion sense. Mitski has voiced her interest in astrology and how she has asked people she’s interested for their birth times lmao. Her venus is in the 11th house, she treats a lover like she would treat a friend. In fact, romantic love probably equates to platonic love in her book. She has her venus in 24° which is a pisces degree, which explains this natural interest in astrology.

Gemini mars: Could be impatient because she moves quickly. Efficient. Has a lot of goals and likes to keep busy. She thrives when she talks to others and exchanged ideas. Likes to multitask. Very versatile. Probably has a flirty, bubbly energy when she’s attracted to someone. Attracted to intellect. Desire to see things from multiple perspectives. Gemini rules the hands so she’s skilled with playing instruments and writing. Likes to try new things. Witty and humorous. Could have nervous energy or fidget often.

Leo jupiter: The planet of luck and expansion in Leo is a big indicator of fame. Her jupiter is also in the 9th house and in 7°. Jupiter in the 9th indicates being born in a different country from where you reside now. Mitski is biracial and has lived in multiple countries growing up. She loves to learn, particularly about other cultures and ways of life. She is open minded, philosophical and values freedom and being independent. She attracts good fortune when she travels (touring!) and also when she focuses on partnerships/intimate relationships (7°). Combining this energy, Mitski attracts luck when she acts dramatically, demonstrates/teaches her knowledge, expresses herself artistically, shows her warm hearted and sometimes stubborn side, & takes chances, shows her bravery, and takes the lead. Be the Cowboy is big leo energy 🤠

Capricorn saturn: Mitski is responsible, practical, goal-oriented, and cautious. With saturn in the 3rd house, she probably had to grow up quickly and become mature at a young age. Capricorn saturn people tend to be very successful people. Strong willed. Tendency to be quiet and is a good listener. Could also be outspoken. With saturn in 18° (virgo degree), she’s very hard working but she may need to learn how to take a break and let herself rest and recharge.

Capricorn uranus: This placement also indicates that she goes after her goals and is efficient and practical in achieving them. Uranus being in the 2nd house shows that she could make money from being unique and groundbreaking. 2nd house also rules the voice! Her values are unique and she could be resistant to change them. Her self esteem could be in a constant state of flux and be tied to money. Her income could rapidly change, like maybe she did not get paid much but then suddenly she starts making a lot of money. Uranus is in 5° which is a fame degree. She’s famous for being authentically herself and very much an individual in the industry that can’t be compared.

Capricorn neptune: Capricorn neptunes are most likely realists. She is skilled at going after her dreams. Her dreams are practical and connected to themes of wealth, power, and control. Neptune in 3rd house shows a dreamy, poetic way of communicating. A very creative placement. Dreamy vibes. Could be elusive in communication, open for interpretation. Neptune is in 11° so this gives aquarian energy. Idealistic with friends and always searching for ways to achieve her dreams.

Scorpio pluto: Her power lies in her ability to analayze human interactions and be introspective with herself since it’s in the 1st house. She is very self aware. Mitski understands that life is about going through changes and she welcomes the ability to grow and rebuild. She has intense, deep emotions but has control over them and how she expresses them. Pluto in 16° adds a cancerian energy. Her strength lies in her ability to nurture and be empathetic.

Scorpio rising: First impressions of Mitski can be that she’s mysterious and secretive. A powerful and intimidating presence. This explains to me why she loves dressing in black. She probably has a strong dislike for anything superficial. She likes to get to know people on a deeper level and connect with them. She likes honesty and is probably very perceptive and intuitive. Privacy is so important to her! She has a lot of layers and wants people to unpack them, but it may take her a while to open up. She is powerful and has endurance. Her presence leaves an impact on people. Loyalty and intimacy is important. She’s not afraid to talk about taboo topics or scary, heavier emotions. Passionate and even a tendency to get fixed on or obsessed with something or someone. Her rising is in 15° (gemini degree) so she’s clever, curious, and thinks quickly. a little more flexible than a regular Scorpio rising would be.

Leo midheaven: People might see her as dramatic or arrogant. In the public eye, she was meant to be a performer. At her concerts she’s known for putting on a good show & includes interpretive dance and choreography. She becomes herself more when she’s on stage. The stage is where she shines. Has a lot of pride connected to her career. Reputation for creatively expressing herself and being brave and taking risks. Wants to be admired, especially regarding her career. Her purpose is to become a leader. Mc in 22° (capricorn degree) shows that she is a very hard worker when it comes to her career. She won’t let anyone stop her when it comes to achievement and success in her field. Another indicator of being at the top of her career and being publicly recognized for it!

TLDR: Mitski is a natural born singer, performer and artist. She is unique, talented, and an introspective writer. Being earth and water dominant, she balances practicality & stability with sentimentality & raw emotion. With all of her Capricorn placements, she is grounded and doesn’t let fame get to her head. Her chart ruler is Scorpio pluto in the 1st which means that major transformations will be a big theme in her life, especially regarding herself & her identity. She is always reflecting and looking at herself on a deep level.

[innocentsshounenjuujigun]

Back when I read the manga, I interpreted Christian as a closeted gay desiring to become a woman in order to be with Etienne.

Since the story is framed in a time in history where gays were not well-liked and Christian is presented as a super logical person, I thought it was reasonable for him to want to be a female, because this would make his love for Etienne more acceptable and overall easier.

I know you write Christian as a trans girl and I think it's a totally valid take because the manga is a bit unclear, but I would love to hear your opinions on this other interpretation.

(Also English is not my first language, but I hope I could convey my ideas just fine >.<).

Alright, so, I may have taken this ask a little more seriously than I should have. >w> As in, I'm currently in an Arthurian Legends class with a professor who specializes in the Medieval period and its history, culture, and stories... and I had a meeting with her specifically to discuss this topic.

That means you're about to get an essay in response here, anon. Most of the following paragraphs are based on my own opinions developed in the years I've been invested in Innocents, but there are a good few of my professor's opinions also taken into account.

I have a lot of feelings about Christian's gender identity and how Furuya crafted her story, so I hope I can do those feelings justice!

. . .

(They/them pronouns are used for Christian here for neutrality.)

The core point of this is that for Christian, changing their gender identity would have been far from the most logical choice. There's nothing about becoming a woman that would have made their life easier— or made it easier to be with Etienne from a social perspective. It would have been far more "logical" to stay a gay man than go to such extremes, for reasons such as...

Homosexual acts were common enough to be in the manual priests had to guide people through repentance (called a Penitential). Beyond that, "sodomy" happened often enough that it was a recognized issue, particularly in monasteries and among knights. While it was still a "sinful" and punishable offense, it happened, and it happened often enough that Christian, well-read as they are, would have almost definitely been aware of both the existence of those acts and exactly what would have been done to "punish" them. (Source)

In comparison, trying to become a woman would have been a major problem socially. That's not just a single sin to repent for; it's an attempt to alter their entire lifestyle into something that would have been highly socially unacceptable. A couple of acts of "sodomy", in comparison, if they were even found out, would have been much less punishable than trying to live as a woman.

Going from that, it would have been far easier for Christian to live with Etienne somewhere remote enough that the chances of being found out would be next to zero, and have their "sinful" relationship as it was— not embark on a dangerous, potentially years-long quest to undergo a dangerous surgery and change their entire life to do something that would have been less socially acceptable than a few acts of sodomy that may or may not have ever been discovered.

And of course, Hugo! He, a member of the Knights Templar, was very obviously engaging in sodomy on the regular. While we may not be sure of exactly how aware of this behavior his superiors were, the fact that half of the prostitutes shown in the scene with Nicolas and Guy are male says a lot about how easy that was to get away with. (Ch. 10)

As you can see, Hugo was sleeping with plenty of men, and he didn't suffer any dramatic punishment for it (that we know of) until what happens in the actual story.

Next, in terms of logic, undergoing surgery to "become a woman" would have been an incredibly reckless, risky choice. We see an illustration of the procedure in Christian's textbook (Ch. 20), and it's pretty grotesque. Definitely not the kind of thing that would have had a high survival rate in the era before germs were common knowledge. Going by the picture, it does not look like something that a rational man would willingly undergo, especially not when considering the information stated in the previous paragraphs.

Yeah. That does not look like something many people would have survived, nor a very logical choice to undergo if you're not desperate.

This leads to my most significant point— the utter loss of any kind of social advantage. In this time and place, women didn't have much in the means of rights. By becoming a woman, even if the procedure was 100% successful, if they survived, and if they were able to seamlessly live their new life without anyone ever knowing that they started out male, Christian would have lost every bit of status, power, and safety they had in the process. As a man, they still had some form of agency; submitting to life as a woman would have put them in a terribly vulnerable position, even without the risk of being found out for who they previously were.

With Christian indeed being a logical, rational person (for the most part), it doesn't make sense to me that they'd resort to such desperate, dangerous measures in the hopes that it would somehow make their relationship with Etienne easier. The matter of attraction is the only advantage I can think of that they'd gain, and even that idea doesn't exactly work out— since Etienne would have been fully aware that they started out as male, the aftermath of the procedure wouldn't have changed what he knew about them.

Christian's desire to become a woman is highly illogical. It's desperate. And the consequences of such a choice, the overwhelming risks with very little reward, indicate to me that there was a lot more going on in their head than just wanting to justify their feelings for Etienne. In this setting, changing their sex and gender would have been a far too dramatic choice to solve that problem.

There's additional evidence, in my opinion, in Christian's behavior in the story, but since this post is meant to cover only the potential logic/non-logic of the choice, I'll stop here for now.

Thank you for the ask! :D

[davyjoneslockr]

ship ask!! fugio w/ 20, 21, and 27 :0

(From this ask game)

20 - What do family/friends think of their relationship?

I imagine they'd get together a while after PHF, so if we're being canon-compliant, it's... complicated. Neither of them have any family, exactly, and the people that are close to them are kinda split. Lowkey wrote a whole fic about Mista's perspective, but TLDR I see him struggling with jealousy and a sense that it's unfair (why do they get to be happy after all the shit they've done, especially when the people that did the right thing didn't get to have a happy ending and the love of his own life was killed senselessly?), but he eventually comes to terms with it, and is at least glad that they're good for each other. Sheila was just waiting in agony for it to happen. Hearing Fugo endlessly ranting about his feelings for Giorno every time they hung out was starting to wear on her. But she's super supportive, and is stoked that her terrible pathetic bff gets to date someone she admires as much as Giorno. I think Murolo would be like. Totally unaware. Like Fugo's talking about Valentine's Day plans or something and Murolo's like "oooh, who's the lucky person?" And Fugo's like. "Uh. Giorno. Obviously." "GIORNO??? OUR BOSS???" "Murolo we've been married for 10 years." He probably thought Fugo and Sheila were dating or something because he has no gaydar.

Also also because I like to think about Everyone Lives AUs. Things would be way different and I think they'd actually start dating sooner. Still after PHF but not *years* after like in canon. And you know Mista and Narancia would be the most aggressive wingmen. As a whole, the Bucci Gang would be happy for them. Abbacchio would pretend to be mad ("I can't believe my favorite kid is dating my least favorite kid. This is the worst thing that has happened to me ever actually"), but deep down, he sees how happy Fugo is with Giorno, and acknowledges it more as he comes to terms with the insecurities that made him "hate" Giorno. I think he and Bucciarati would walk them down the aisle at their wedding. hehe evil little found family things

If there's one thing everyone would complain about, though, it's how sappy they are. Not in a constant PDA, corny nicknames, etc kind of way, but they're just like. So weird and dramatic about each other. Romeo and Juliet type beat (and actually I always conceptualize Fugio through what I call the Romeo and Juliet factor. but that's a talk for another time). Does that even make sense. Idk

21 - Who is more likely to start dancing with the other?

!!!!! OKAY IVE WRITTEN ABOUT FUGIO DANCING AT LEAST TWICE BC ITS SO IMPORTANT TO ME. Giorno is a terrible dancer, so I'd say Fugo would initiate more often. He'd try to teach Giorno stuff like ballroom dancing, maybe even the silly little dances he makes up with Mista and Narancia, but more often than not, if they're dancing together, they're slow dancing. A little scene I've imagined, but is probably too small for a fic, is like. The first time Giorno cries in front of Fugo is when they're slow-dancing together late one night, and Fugo sings quietly along to whatever song is playing - Giorno just gets overwhelmed over how much he loves him.

27 - Who would sing to their child back to sleep?

Fugo 100%. If he had a kid, he'd try his hardest to be super gentle with them - his biggest fear, as with all his relationships, is that he'll hurt them - so, when they're a baby and they wake up at night, he slowly rocks them back to sleep and sings very quietly, between reassurances that they're safe and loved. Giorno wouldn't sing, just because i headcanon that his singing voice is godawful lol but the second he hears the baby wake up? He's rushing to their side. He doesn't want his child to ever feel abandoned like he did, so he'll sit with them, carry them around for a while, talk to them - whatever it takes to let them know that their father's there. Fugo has definitely walked into the living room in the morning to find Giorno fast asleep on the couch, cradling their child, because he didn't want to leave them until he was certain they were asleep again. Anyhow. Domestic Fugios :]

[lady-layton]

hi! so I was combing thru ur PL tag, and I noticed u have a large collection of dvds/cds. i hope this doesnt come across as rude or imposing, but do you think it would be possible for you to "burn" and upload the videos/audio to youtube? highest priority has to be the interviews, esp with the seiyu, i don't think i've ever seen that ANYWHERE. even if most people can't understand the japanese, having an archive of this content allows us to archive the games, their development, and the fandom. second priority would probably be any commercials featuring cutscenes from the 3ds games, as they were never released in HD to this day. besides that, i have been able to find most of the CD releases online, but i was curious about the premium cd layton theme cover song. if you are worried about copyright law or just don't want to, that is understandable 👍 but as it stands, there is more and more layton content completely lost to time (like the flip phone exclusive official art and games) and without its preservation, the less and less there will be to celebrate as the anniversaries continue... i hope that's not too dramatic. as far as i can tell when it comes to copyright strikes, i uploaded layton game content to YouTube and never got any (i got one immediately over the utena anime) so i believe it is safe, but there are alternatives like gdrive etc. "burning" (copying) dvds is also very simple if you have a computer.

I REALLY really hope I don't come off as demanding. Ultimately it is 100% your decision. But the layton fandom of today (in its tiny size) would thank you. It also would be a nice way to look back in time, as I personally played all the games only in 2020. I'd love to know more about the process behind the development of the games in general, but as the fandom even at its peak was never huge (and bc its been 15 years...) very little of that has been recorded in western fandom, vs big IPs like Zelda or even Fire Emblem. It'd also be really cool to hear the thoughts of someone who was there when things WERE happening!

Regardless, I will respect whatever decision you make. Game (and game-adjacent) preservation matters a lot to me, but I do know how to take a "No". I hope you can understand my perspective however. 😔 While I don't think the fandom will ever fully revive (unless maybe we got a switch port of each trilogy like Ace Attorney), I hope the new generations of Layton lovers can appreciate each other as well as the old fandom they built upon. Thank you for hearing me out!

Hello!

First of all thank you so much for this ask (o´∀`o) To be honest my plan with buying these commercial DVDs in the beginning was to preserve a part of Professor Layton history. There is so much about Professor Layton that have disappeared over the years, since some fansites and blogs have shut down long ago. So I really want to save as much as I can of what is left.

I've been looking into transferring the trailers, interviews and such to some online archive in some way. Sadly I have not had the time to properly sit down and research how to do it more exactly, but I do have a close friend of mine who is willing to help. If I get them uploaded somewhere I will absolutely share the links through this blog! It would be even more fun if a subgroup would be willing to help out with texting some of the clips as well. I have managed to collect quite a lot of these DVD's since I last updated my collection, but I should have the following:

3 different DVDs for Curious Village

4 different DVDs for Pandora's Box

2 different DVDs for Lost Future

1 promotional DVD for Eternal Diva

3 different DVDs for Spectre's Call

3 different DVDs for Professor Layton VS Ace Attorney

1 DVD for Layton Brothers Mystery Room

1 DVD for Professor Layton and the Phantom Thief

1 for Professor Layton and the Azran Legacy

1 for Layton's Mystery Journey: Katrielle and the Millionaires' Conspiracy

1 for Layton's Mystery Journey: Katrielle and the Millionaires' Conspiracy DX

I also have this one DVD from Code NEO from 2007 that I remember purchasing because it said to have some Layton content. But it got to me just now that I have never checked it out. Perhaps I should do so, so I know what is on that disc haha.

About the premium CD I have been pondering over uploading it as well. I'm not so sure how comfortable I am with sharing MP3s online, but since it's from quite an old era by now and not released outside of the premium disc I could perhaps make an exception.

[interact-if]

Day 4 of the Game Jam Winners Months Featured Author Interviews, starting with Franzynite!

Franzinyte, author of In Auctorem Credimus

Feeling purposeless and unfulfilled after your story has ended, you stumble upon an organization dealing with the same problem as you: the Custodians of Authorial Narrative Foundation (CANon). With nothing else to do but hope for your story’s sequel or (hopefully not horrible) movie adaptation to come, the main character of your story (and canonical love interest) invites you to join the foundation and work as a biblio-anthropologist, traveling through various story worlds without the need to stay in-character.

So when your dream finally came true a few years later and people in your neighborhood start forgetting about you, you immediately grab your plot armor and prepare to defeat the villains once again. You’ve done it before, and you’ll make sure they’ll never do it again. At least, that’s how sequels are supposed to go, right?

But when the main character and the villains turn out to be missing, you decide to take on the mantle of ‘main character’, join the CANon Timeline Anomaly Removal Department Intervention Squad (TARDIS), and write the sequel to your own story yourself.

Read more about In Auctorem Credimus [here]

In Auctorem Credimus Demo | Dev Blog

Tags: Fantasy, Sci-fi.

[INTERVIEW TRANSCRIPT UNDER THE CUT!]

Q1 . Tell us about the story you made for the Jam!

In Auctorem Credimus (Latin for “In the Author We Trust”) is a metafictional sci-fantasy adventure story where you play as the main character's love interest, who takes over the MC's role after the story has ended.

You work as a biblio-anthropologist for the Custodians of Authorial Narrative Foundation (CANon), and join the Timeline Anomaly Removal Department Intervention Squad (TARDIS). In the story, you'll explore story worlds of different genres, as you try to capture anomalous characters responsible for creating plot holes. It's a light-hearted story as a whole, but it also explores, deconstructs, and reconstructs the tropes from the perspective of the characters themselves. Breaking the fourth wall is an integral part of the story's worldbuilding, not just a quirk of the narrator.

I made IAC as a spin-off/sidequel for my main project, "Dear Diary, We Created a Plot Hole!" (DDWCaPH!), both to try out Twine and to write in a different POV than I'm used to. It spoils the first half of the story, but I think the resulting dramatic irony makes it more fun to read and introduces a different form of interactivity.

While it ends in a cliffhanger, I designed IAC as if it was a full-length story, complete with romance options as well as plenty of customization options for the MC. It's something I definitely want to expand on in the future.

Q2. What was the biggest challenge in creating a game in such a short time span? How did you manage it?

Learning a new coding language! Although I already have experience with coding and interactive fiction, Twine isn't very intuitive to learn, especially on the formatting side. I had to copy and paste most of the coding syntax, as I found typing them manually very clumsy and prone to errors.

The hardest part in particular was the UI customization. I wanted to make the UI slightly different for each chapter to fit the current setting, but unfortunately I didn't have enough time to play around with the template.

Q3. What was your inspiration for your entry?

I've always wanted to write a short story as a spin-off for DDWCaPH!, and with the jam's theme being 'cliffhanger', I took it as a sign to finally write it.

It'd take me a long time to list all of my inspirations—both stories are filled with references to classic literature, pop culture, and even my Filipino heritage influenced part of the worldbuilding.

But I'd say the main inspiration for both stories as a whole, is the game "Bookworm Adventures". In the game, you have to spell words to defeat monsters from various literature (which also inspired The Nautilus's word-powered tractor beam). The final boss of the series is where I got the idea of plot holes being portals to other stories. I just loved the idea of characters going on adventures to different story worlds. You know how writers tend to have a million story ideas? This was my solution to the problem.

As for CANon, it was inspired by the SCP Foundation—the idea of a secret organization hidden in plain sight is always a very fun concept. They may be the good guys, but they're also hiding an entire graveyard in the proverbial closet.

Q4. Is this your first time working on a game like this? What do you like (or not like) about working in this format?

This is my second IF project, but this is my first time joining a game jam.

As for what I like and not like, it's the same thing: the deadline. It caused me a lot of stress and other problems, but I can't deny that this has been the most productive and the most excited I've ever been writing-wise, that I continued writing even while I was sick. It also prompted me into learning something new, which is also a plus.

Q5. What is your favorite part about your entry? What have you enjoyed most doing during the Jam?

My favorite part both story-wise and development-wise, is the climactic battle in the penultimate chapter. It's one of the first scenes I planned, and I’m honestly surprised by how easily everything clicked together, and that I managed to make the battle both fun and not one-sided. It was fun discovering my characters' powers and abilities as I went along.

Due to the nature of the jam, I didn't want to have complex branching paths for the battle. During this time, I was also watching a video about "invisible" choices in video games by making it a non-obvious part of the gameplay, which led me to think of adding another layer of interactivity throughout the story via the cycling links.

Initially it's there mostly for customization, then later you realize you can change minor details in the background, and near the end, you gain the ability to have limited control of other characters and even the narrative itself. It's fun to play with the possibilities—you never know if something simple as changing someone else's eye color will have a butterfly effect later on. But also, just because you can change it, doesn't mean you shouldn't.

Special mention also goes to the “wear my PJs” choice during the final battle. I really wanted to make it an achievement!

As for what I've enjoyed the most, it would be the brainstorming phase at the beginning. I had these character ideas sitting in my notes for years now, and suddenly they all sprung to life in just a day. It's funny too, considering the backstories the characters ended up having are similar to their backstories in real life: abandoned and forgotten characters who decided to go on their own adventures without their author.

I also had a lot of fun finding the appropriate background music for each scene.

Q6. What is your advice for sprint projects like this one?

I'm guessing my fellow jammers would say something about time management, but since I'm horrible with that, as a bit of a perfectionist, I'll say:

Don't be afraid to cut down. "Kill your darlings" as the writers say, but maybe just injure them in this case so you can still incorporate those ideas later down the line.

Focus on the essentials first. Scope creep is a real thing, and it's easy to keep on adding new features, even if it seems doable. I had to cut down a lot of choices and features to make the work manageable, and even then I barely managed to finish in time.

Q7. Do you have any other works you’d like to promote?

I've already linked to Dear Diary, We Created a Plot Hole! (Demo, Blog) at the end of IAC, but here's the summary again for those who are interested:

The day after you and your twin sibling rewrote your mother’s unfinished bedtime story, you quickly find out why she never finished it. You have unleashed a plot hole—a portal to different story worlds—and now the villains from the stories you’ve written have become real. They’re here to crash your school fieldtrip, and they’re here to finish your mother’s story for good.

Grab your plot armor and join your twin and friends in a meta-fictional adventure! Explore different story worlds—from fantasy and sci-fi, to mythology and mystery. Will you discover the truth behind your mother’s story? Or will villains, plot twists, and character development prevent you from getting your happily ever after?

DDWCaPH! is written as a love letter to all the kids-at-heart out there, who’d like to revisit their childhood and reimagine it as one big fantasy adventure. If you liked reading IAC, then you will also love DDWCaPH! It's much more character-driven, and explores the same themes in even more detail. I'm hoping to turn it into a visual novel in the future!

[mediaevalmusereads]

Wuthering Heights. By Emily Bronte. Dover Thrift Editions, 1996 (originally published 1847).

Rating: 4.5/5 stars

Genre: literary fiction, 19th century English literature

Part of a Series? No

Summary: Considered lurid and shocking by mid-19th-century standards, Wuthering Heights was initially thought to be such a publishing risk that its author, Emily Brontë, was asked to pay some of the publication costs. A somber tale of consuming passions and vengeance played out against the lonely moors of northern England, the book proved to be one of the most enduring classics of English literature.

The turbulent and tempestuous love story of Cathy and Heathcliff spans two generations — from the time Heathcliff, a strange, coarse young boy, is brought to live on the Earnshaws' windswept estate, through Cathy's marriage to Edgar Linton and Heathcliff's plans for revenge, to Cathy's death years later and the eventual union of the surviving Earnshaw and Linton heirs.

***Full review below***

Content Warnings: domestic violence/abuse, animal torture/death, misogynistic language, incest

Overview: I first read this book... oh... more than 15 years ago, so I decided it was time for a re-read. It’s hard to rate “a classic,” but there really is something special about the Bronte sisters, including Emily. I love the way she crafts a dark, twisted narrative, using the remote setting of the Yorkshire moors to bring out the “apartness” of characters I love to hate (yet also pity). While 19th century prose might not be for everyone, this is definitely a book to check out if you’re someone who can’t look away from unhealthy relationships, unlikeable protagonists, and decades-long obsession with revenge, and I can’t praise the author enough for doing so with such mastery.

Writing: Bronte’s prose is extremely evocative, utilizing the atmosphere of the wilderness and the forceful, dramatic declarations in the dialogue to make this book feel almost wild and untamed. I adored the descriptions of the settings, from Wuthering Heights (the home of the Earnshaw family) to the surrounding wilderness to the haven-like bubble around Thrushcross Grange (the home of the Linton family). I also very much enjoyed the way Bronte evoked certain regionalisms in her characters’ speech as well as the tiny details that made a scene feel... not quite right. Combined, all of these things came together to produce a novel with a stunning sense of place - albeit a place away from the balls and tea rooms of your typical Victorian upper-class society.

Plot: The plot of this novel can be broken into two parts; the first follows Heathcliff and Catherine Earnshaw from childhood to marriage, as they grow up together and eventually part, only to reunite years later. The second part follows Catherine’s daughter, Cathy, as she is tormented by Heathcliff as well as her cousins Hareton and Linton. Both parts are told from the perspective of Nelly Dean, a servant who has worked for the family since her childhood, and Mr. Lockwood, a tenant who rents out the property of Thrushcross Grange from Heathcliff.

Part one was perhaps the most entrancing for me because of the strong connection between Catherine and Heathcliff. Bronte describes Heathcliff as being brought to Wuthering Heights as an orphan child, and from the outset, everyone takes a disliking to him except for Catherine. As a result, the two form a relationship that is almost obsessive, and by no means serves as an example of a healthy, romantic tale. What made this compelling was not just the heightened emotion around the relationship, but the complex feelings it evokes in the reader. As I was reading, I found myself sometimes pitying Heathcliff, but then he would do something completely unforgiveable, which made me contemplate things like cycles of violence, nature vs nurture, and the like. Being so remote, the characters have little chance to experience the wider world, so these questions become even more interesting the more variables are eliminated.

Part two was likewise entrancing, though personally, I missed the relationship between Heathcliff and Catherine. Part two does follow Catherine’s daughter, however, and continues to put Heathcliff’s obsession on full display, further prompting me to think about generational trauma and cycles of violence. Because Cathy is a little more likable than her mother, her plight evokes a little more sympathy, and I felt distressed whenever Heathcliff would do something horrid to her. I did read the ending as somewhat bittersweet; though there is a promise of hope and escape, I had a hard time getting on board with Cathy’s relationship with Hareton, especially after how they treated one another.

Characters: The most famous characters in this book are Heathcliff and Catherine Earnshaw, though Catherine only appears in part one. Heathcliff is extremely compelling as an unlikeable character; it’s easy to waffle back and forth on whether he should be pitied, though I 100% disagree with any assessment that positions him as a romantic hero. I liked that Heathcliff was presented as simultaneously tormenter and tormented, and his antics were so wild that it was difficult to anticipate what he’d do next. Of course, none of this means his actions are good, per se - some readers might have a lot of problems with his physical abuse, but I’d argue that Bronte doesn’t glorify it in the slightest. Instead, she asks us to contemplate how Heathcliff came to be, though she never settles on a definite answer (much to my delight).

Catherine Earnshaw is likewise deeply flawed, and I loved watching her antics with an almost perverse enjoyment. From a young age, Catherine is a terror to everyone around her, acting selfishly yet is charming enough to ensnare the affections of both Heathcliff and Edgar Linton. I liked the way Bronte walked the line between making Catherine utterly unbearable and utterly captivating; though there were many times where I wanted to see Catherine reaps what she sowed, she never did anything as extreme as Heathcliff (re: violence, abuse, etc), which meant that I always wanted to see what she would do next and how the people around her would react.

Cathy, Catherine’s daughter, is a little calmer and more kind-hearted than her mother. I enjoyed the balance of passion and compassion in her character, and I found it admirable that Cathy would go to such lengths to care for people she loved. This is not to say Cathy is a saint; there are definitely moments in which she does the wrong thing and creates problems because she does not check her passions, but I found her story more interesting than if she had been a perfect angel, and her character was another useful tool for examining questions like whether evil in people is inherent or created through circumstance.

Supporting characters were varied and well-realized, and most of them were memorable in their own way. Nelly, our narrator, was a good storyteller, and I liked that she had a personality of her own, interjecting her own thoughts and feelings while also talking back to her employers, rather than just serving as a kind of faceless mouthpiece for Bronte. Hareton, Cathy’s older cousin, is interesting for his genuine devotion to Heathcliff, despite the fact that he was essentially robbed of his birthright and was mistreated by everyone around him. Linton, Cathy’s younger, sickly cousin, is both infuriating and pitiable in that he never really had a chance to become anything other than a sad, scared boy, and I thought he was yet another interesting example of the dialogue between nature and nurture in the book. The only character I feel like I can’t comment on fully is Joseph, the servant with the thick Yorkshire accent. To be honest, I had some trouble reading and understanding his lines, though I did get the sense that his zealous Christianity was hypocritical, since he hated just about everyone else. Perhaps he’s also some kind of commentary, but I didn’t grow accustomed to his dialect.

TL;DR: Wuthering Heights is a tale about how “evil” is made, yet does so without really offering any definitive answers. Featuring a cast of deeply flawed characters and a setting that evokes a sense of remoteness and wildness, this book is sure to prompt readers to reflect on things like class, nature vs nurture, obsession, and cycles of violence while also thrilling them with dramatic narrative twists and memorable declarations of love and hate.

[danpuff-ao3]

23 and 43 for the ask game thingy please and thank u

Hello there! Thanks for the ask! :D

23. What’s a trope, AU, or concept you’ve never written, but would like to?

Answered here!

43. If you take/write prompts: what’s your favorite prompt fic that you’ve written?

Ooh this is hard! Why must I choose between my babies?? I've participated in many a fest and prompt event. Orange Blossoms was an indulgence of flowers and poetry (for HP Flowers AND my birthday!) Lover Boy At Play is to this day the most self-indulgent bit of hotness I ever wrote, written for Kinktober 2021. In fact, I'm very fond of most of my Kinkuary & Kinktober works!

But in the end I think it really comes down to 2 fest works.

Collateral Damage was written for Draco-Ron Fest 2021. It was a headache and a half to create. (In fact my first draft got to 10k words before I scrapped the whole thing and started fresh.) (Version 2, which is what is posted, ended up at 16k!) It was such a struggle to get through, but in the end I had a product I was beyond proud of!

The prompt was great. Probably my favorite prompt I've ever seen. I won't share it here since the prompt itself spoils the story a bit, but if you're very curious you can find it at the bottom of the fic itself. A friend of mine left that prompt, actually! And the moment I saw it I knew it had to be mine. It helped that, because I was friends with the prompter, they'd be thrilled with certain plot points I had in mind. I'd never had a prompt inspire me to quite that level before. Self-prompts, sure. Prompts from others? Never! I am to this day incredibly in love with that fic. Which is pretty big considering it's not my OTP!

It was a great indulgence of angst and miscommunication and inner turmoil. While also having fun with the characters. They're such a mess! Draco super bratty and dramatic, and a fun blend of insecure and vain. Then Ron this charming and funny guy who is also very oblivious and temperamental. It's a more lighthearted, fun version of the enemies to lovers dynamic that I don't often get with Snarry. Much as I love it, my OTP can be much too much sometimes!

It does make me unsure if I should write Dron again, though. I did it so well already! I'm not sure anything I write can ever compare. (Though it's not stopped me with a certain other ship, so...maybe I'll get over that hesitance one day!)

A Matter of Time was written for Snarry Adopt-a-Prompt and was posted early January 2022. While Collateral Damage was a fun spot of drama, this was a tragedy. And while the prompt for Dron spoke to me right away, I had a harder time narrowing down AAP prompts, and even once I did I had to tinker around with what, exactly, I wanted to do.

It was a different sort of structure than I normally write. Alternating POVs as well as reverse chronology. And I had it open-ended on top of that! I got to indulge in a bit of outsider perspective, and a secret (taboo) romance. It sort of delved into this awful situation without ever really resolving it. Also, I am dang proud of how it ended. Wow. Talk about a knife to the heart. (Of course I'd be proud of that, haha!)

Also...can we talk about the smut???? Very hot. Few people talk about that. Probably because on the whole it's a very depressing fic and most people are caught up in how depressing it is, but gosh dang it, that smut was good!

Anyway...it was another challenge to write, though it feels less oppressive than certain other fics. If only because I took breaks to write a comedy at the same time (Welcome to the Family for Rare Pair Fest.) It lightened my spirits enough to be able to reach the end without too much of a migraine. And in the end, I had a story I was stupidly proud of. And I considered it my best work until I posted Contempt later that same year!

(Also, I know I was supposed to stop signing up for fests, but...my best works came out of fests!!!! I did not need that to click in my brain now, oh no.)

questions for fic writers