#what I do not exaggerate on is that you do need to learn how the world works and where the stuff you use daily comes from
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weirdglassthing · 9 months ago
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ouaw doodle dump!!
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elbiotipo · 7 months ago
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Every day I get comments on my worldbuilding posts that aren't worth getting angry about but they're boring stuff like "I mostly agree with you OP that worldbuilding is important but It Depends on the Kind Of Story you want to tell and it shouldn't get in the way of The Plot and The Characters and you should Write What You Want" can you stop being such a centrist and write the ethnobotany paper I told you to
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ichorblossoms · 8 days ago
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this Thing is almost fucking done there's a chance i might actually have it done by sunday (internal deadline for this bc that marks two years of brainrot) i'm so fucking close. i am almost done
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bmpmp3 · 7 months ago
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My sudden onset and inexplicable obsession with genbu in the past year is really fun because I'm developing a lot of tuning skills that apply to literally no other voicebank and will never apply to any others again
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depresseddepot · 1 month ago
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uh oh!!!! starting to feel unqualified for the opportunities I have been given!!!!
#one of my references told my other ref in ''secret'' that he is waiting for an opening in his office to recruit me#and he works with Very Important Government Documents in the Very Important Governmental Office he works at#i cant get more specific than that but like. girl i know how to write essays#thats all my fucking degree has taught me hello#like yes i know how to research and fact check but i feel like handling and giving academic support for GOV DOCUMENTS#is maybe a little above my abilities lmfao#and yeah i know stupider people than me have and will continue to do it#but. what if i DO get a good job working with him and he's disappointed in my abilities#fuck what he thinks yes but that means i lose a VERY powerful reference lmfao that mf knows everybody in my field#and im not exaggerating that at all#:(#if someone is willing to TEACH me i am so willing to learn#and im trying to remember that in the past all of my references have loved me BECAUSE of my questions#for some reason my deadly specific worst case scenario autism questions have bewitched them into thinking im smart#but i need to be TAUGHT#i can force people to answer my questions. i WILL force people to answer my questions#but sometimes it feels like higher up positions don't get any training at all? like theyre just expected to hit the ground running#ahhh idk i would love to work with him (and my other ref technically) truly and if he offers i WILL take it no matter how freaky i am abt it#but im just so confused about how training works lol#ive been at the same place in different positions for almost 10 years#do they train you like fully? or do they expect you to Know the exact softwares they use?#do you think i can make all of them want to adopt me the way i have at my current job LMFAO#maybe if they work with a fresh 24 year old theyll just see a baby and let me make mistakes without wanting me fired idk#ugh. i want a good full time position with them really badly though#please please it is such a perfect opportunity for me its even RIGHT in the place i wanted it to be AND with people i know and like#he literally said to me ''it may take a while but we will get you a good job'' VERBATIM#LIKE THATS GOTTA BE GOOD RIGHT? LIKE THAT MEANS HE REALLY DOES WANT ME IN HIS OFFICE AND THAT HE ISNT JUST SAYING THAT TO PEOPLE#god. networking is scary#i just happen to know this guy. and we just so happened to be similarly politically radical in a conservative area
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forrome · 10 months ago
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#cryptic post except not really#I just need to yell my feelings into the void because I need a blank sheet of paper to be on my side#I am so tired of being told no when I ask for help#It takes SO much for me to ask and when I don't get the help of course I don't want to ask again??#But I am going to keep doing it because that is what is expected of me whereas I would say 'you touch a pot and get burned? guess what...'#'... you don't touch the pot again.'#And I'm just so angry and frustrated that I am being seen as a problem because I asked for another week of orientation and YES! I have#received pushback on getting help and YES I was not kind about it#My reaction was exaggerated and I don't appreciate 1) them being a little narc because I just said 'it's a no? okay#thank you.' and closed the door in their face#it was not slammed you fucking wet goober#I don't want management to know my name and now they're going to think I'm a problem when I'm apparently expected to be 200% outgoing while#I am struggling to learn a new system and feel confident doing my job#I can do the job but I feel like it is so much harder here because I don't know THEIR system yet and I don't have a community here#why can't the universe let me be petty and small for once??#I just want to focus on me and do well#'you have resources here you just have to know what they are and how to use them'#well it doesn't fuckin feel that way when I get multiple 'no'#I guess I'll keep burning my hands touching the pot#but I need a space to voice that yeah bro I resent it#I will fake care about what you did on the weekend FINE IF THAT'S WHAT IT TAKES#I am so fucking real when I say I don't give a damn if we get along but I will support you when shit gets real#That's the kind of trust we need to have as a team and I certainly don't feel it#...#thanks for listening void
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salmoncakepls · 11 months ago
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...🦌?
#i also find performance in the show so interesting#the ppl sometimes misinterpret is what exactly performance is rather than seeing it as this range of xyz elements that go into it that may#still have a connection to your self they see it as this black and white framing to perform is not necessarily to lie but to lie is not#necessarily to perform#like we see louis' perform over and over and over and over again in different decades in different areas of his life and part of his story#is this lack of identity itself#hes so interesting bc of the layered up part of him like you see these layers (of self and performance--which can intertwine) and you come#closer and closer to it to find something even newer yeah so#its so obvious#w/ him how he cant tell that direct lie like...in past-in modern same-same and if he happens to tell a good lie best believe he believe it#to so its not technically a lie it is his own truth your own truth does not have to be factual but the sentiments still stands ala what JA#said soo i find it interesting performing together but the performance is not a lie but an exaggeration or a replication of the love itself#i still stand by my initial sentiment when theyre away a mile apart but together they are in each other and in each other (performance-love-#falling back into it etc etc etc) i find it interesting where A stands in this#because i learn more abt him sooo i was like with him with his statement 'never harmed you' not direct i believe not direct still if we're#going by this is your truth type thing and maybe convincing himself that this is his truth then it's yeah my interpretation is still in 'the#twins' type of look into them so the mirror mirror but the awareness is different (?) IDK guys i saw their lovestory its cute then they hit#u with the underlying horrors and boy do i love getting into it i just need to learn moree 77 years so much so much time vampires is cool#random thoughts#V#i cant wait to write my video essay give me the whole show noww if i messed up on this disregard or whatever armand says#talking myself through stuff i need to rewatch the episode in full
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dappermouth · 7 months ago
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What animals do you enjoy drawing the most? Which ones are easiest to draw and which ones are the hardest? Love your art btw!
Good question! I like drawing even-toed ungulates (esp. deer and goats), my brain kind of 'gets' how their faces/bodies work and their features are easy to exaggerate to neat effect.
The easiest animals to draw are housecats (maybe because I've lived with them my whole life and gazed long into their perfect faces).
For me the toughest animals to draw are canines of all kinds. Dogs, foxes, wolves. I put them in my work frequently because I like them and I need to, but it's really hard, every time. Comically difficult for me.
— ok side note but while answering this ask i have just learned that orcas are even-toed ungulates and it has me very fucked up — i didn't know where to cram this info but i can't be alone with it rn
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inkandapex · 13 days ago
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everytime
Lando Norris x Y/N
Summary: Lando never learns, no matter how many times he says 'never again,' he somehow always ends up in the middle of his girlfriend’s pranks.
Words: 3.1k
Warnings: swearing
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Excuse me
The phone was propped up just right, hidden in plain sight, quietly recording as Y/N lounged on the couch, bundled in a blanket, remote in hand, eyes fixed on the TV like nothing was out of the ordinary.
She fought to keep a straight face. A few nights ago, mid-doom scroll while waiting for Lando to come back from a night out, she stumbled across a TikTok trend that instantly caught her attention: girlfriends wiping away kisses from their boyfriends. The dramatic reactions were hilarious, and knowing just how pouty Lando could get, she had to try it for herself.
It was the perfect setup. Lando was getting ready to head out for a padel game with a few friends, and like clockwork, their usual goodbye ritual included a quick kiss before either of them left.
“Baby, I’m about to head out,”
Right on cue, Lando walked into the frame—duffle bag slung over his shoulder, eyes glued to his phone. He strolled over to the couch, plopping down beside Y/N without looking up.
“Do you wanna grab dinner tonight after I get back?” he asked, finally setting his phone aside to look at her. “Or should I just bring something home?”
She tilted her head, pretending to think it over as casually as she could.
“I don’t mind grabbing food if you’re not too tired,” she replied with a soft smile.
“Perfect.” He leaned in and pressed a quick kiss to her cheek. “Alright, I’m gonna go. Text me if you need anything.”
As soon as he stood, she slowly reached up and wiped her cheek with her sweater, just noticeably enough.
“Excuse me?”
Lando froze mid-step, his mouth hanging open in dramatic disbelief.
She looked up at him innocently, barely holding back a laugh at how deeply offended he already looked.
“What?”
“What do you mean what? You just wiped off my kiss!”
“I didn’t! I was just itchy,” she said, barely containing her grin.
With an exaggerated eye roll, Lando leaned in again, this time pressing a slower, more deliberate kiss to her cheek.
He pulled back, eyes locked on her, waiting.
And, just like before, she reached for her cheek and wiped it off.
“Baby!” he groaned, collapsing back onto the couch, completely betrayed.
Y/N burst out laughing.
“Lan, go! You’re gonna be late!”
“Are you mad at me? What—was it the stubble? I can shave it off,” he said dramatically, grabbing her hand.
“Oh my god…” she shook her head, completely amused.
“Do you not want me to leave? I can cancel. I’ll stay, we can talk—”
“Lando!” she laughed, cutting him off. “It’s a joke, my love. It’s a prank.”
“You muppet,” Lando said, giving her a gentle shove before grabbing a pillow and swatting her side with it. “You actually had me worried for a minute.”
Y/N was still doubled over, breathless from laughter, clutching her stomach as tears formed in the corners of her eyes. The prank had worked way better than she expected.
She was mid-wipe, dabbing at her tears, when she saw him heading for the door, bag slung over his shoulder, keys in hand.
“Wait! You’re really leaving? No goodbye kiss for me?” she called out with a grin.
Lando scoffed, shaking his head as he slid his shoes on. “Already gave you two and you wiped both of them off. You’ll survive a couple hours without one.”
And with that, he stepped out, the door clicking shut behind him.
Still giggling, Y/N pushed herself up and made her way over to the hidden phone. She was just about to stop the recording when the door suddenly swung open again.
“Back so soon?” she teased.
Without a word, Lando strode toward her, gently took her face in his hands, and kissed her. Soft, warm, and lingering just long enough to make her melt.
“I’m still mad at you,” he muttered with a chuckle, shaking his head before finally heading out for real this time.
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Say it back
It was the end of a triple header, and Y/N had flown back to their Monaco apartment after the second weekend. She hadn’t seen Lando in a full week, which meant nightly FaceTime calls as soon as he wrapped up his post-race responsibilities.
It was the night before Lando’s flight home. He was lying on his side in his hotel bed, phone in hand, laptop propped up on the bedside table, camera angled perfectly for their usual call. He was casually scrolling through his phone, waiting on a text from Carlos to head out for dinner. Y/N was doing the same, her iPad balanced nearby as she sorted through the closet.
She wasn’t just passing time—she had a prank planned, and she needed Lando to hang up first so she could pull it off.
She finally heard the ping from his phone. Lando sat up and glanced at the screen.
“Just got the text from Carlos, baby. I’ll call you when I get back,” he said, moving closer to his laptop.
Y/N mirrored him, pulling her iPad closer and giving a small wave. “Have fun! Tell Carlos I said hi.”
“I will,” he smiled. “I love you, I’ll call you later.”
She immediately taps the screen, ending their call.
She stared at the now-black iPad screen, biting her lip to keep from grinning too hard. Not even thirty seconds passed before it started ringing again—Lando’s contact flashing across the screen. The hidden camera on the shelf beside her caught the whole thing.
“Watch him whine,” she mumbled to herself, quickly schooling her expression before picking up.
“Yes, Lan—”
“—I think the call cut off, baby,” he interrupted. This time, he was on his phone, holding it close. “I said I love you and that I was gonna call you as soon as I’m back from dinner.”
“I heard you, Lan,” she said sweetly. “I’ll probably still be up when you call. Don’t worry. Go have fun, alright?”
He gave her a soft smile, now walking down the hotel hallway. “Alright, my love. I love you.”
“Okay, bye,” she replied with the same gentle smile—and ended the call again.
She let out a quiet laugh, fully expecting the phone to ring again.
And, as predicted, it did.
When she picked up this time, Lando was in the elevator, now wearing a dramatic pout.
“I love you,” he said, deadpan.
She laughed, finally letting her composure crack. “Okay, Lan, I heard you the first time.”
“Then say it back!” he whined, full puppy mode engaged.
She was full-on laughing now. “This is one of your pranks again, isn’t it?” he asked, eyebrows furrowed in mock irritation.
“I’m glad at least one of us is having fun,” he muttered with a playful scoff.
“Alright, you big baby. I love you too,” she said, grinning.
“Yeah, yeah, whatever. You’re lucky you’re cute,” he mumbled with a smirk, finally ending the call.
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Come to bed
The apartment was dim, lit only by the soft glow of the TV as the two of them laid tangled together on the couch. The sound of their show played quietly in the background, but Lando had already yawned more than once in the last few minutes, his fingers twitching slightly where they were resting against her arm.
“You wanna move to the bedroom, love?” he mumbled, pulling away slightly to stretch, his voice thick with sleep. “We can keep watching there, I’m getting kinda tired.”
She hummed in acknowledgment but stayed exactly where she was, not budging an inch. That yawn? The perfect cue. Her mind was already spinning with mischief.
“I think I’ll sleep here tonight,” she said casually, eyes still fixed on the screen.
Lando’s head snapped toward her so fast it was a miracle he didn’t give himself whiplash. “…On the couch?”
“Yeah.” She kept her tone light, expression unreadable, fully committed to the bit.
He blinked at her, confusion furrowing across his face. Then, without another word, he grabbed the remote and turned the volume down until the room was almost silent.
“Wait, hold on—why?” he asked, his brows drawn together now, voice softer. “Did something happen?”
She shrugged nonchalantly, like it wasn’t that deep. “I just feel like sleeping out here.”
Lando stood up slowly, still watching her. She stared at the TV like she was completely serious.
She expected him to push back, maybe pout, or try to guilt her into coming to bed. But instead, he turned and walked off toward their bedroom.
She blinked, sitting up slightly. Had she actually taken it too far this time?
A minute later, she heard footsteps padding back down the hallway. Lando returned with an armful of pillows and the big blanket from their bed, dragging it all toward the couch like it was the most natural thing in the world.
“What are you doing?” she asked, trying not to laugh as he started arranging everything.
“Making up our bed,” he replied, fluffing a pillow and placing it at one end of the couch. “Since you’re set on sleeping here, I guess this is where we’re sleeping.”
She stared at him, completely caught off guard.
“You don’t have to do that,” she said through a small laugh. “You can go sleep in the bed, Lan. I didn’t say you had to sleep out here with me.”
“I know,” he said, shrugging as he smoothed out the blanket. “But I don’t want to sleep without you. So either we move to the bedroom, or I’m staying here.”
He looked up at her, eyes a little tired, a little soft. “Unless… are you mad at me? Did I do something?”
That was it. The guilt hit her instantly, followed by a wave of affection.
She sat up and grabbed his hand, pulling him into a hug, burying her face into his shoulder as she smiled. “It was a joke, baby. I was just messing with you,” she murmured. “But you’re so sweet, it actually hurts.”
Lando groaned dramatically, wrapping his arms around her like he was melting into her. “I hate you sometimes,” he muttered, but he was already smiling.
She pulled back just enough to kiss his cheek. “You love me.”
He sighed like it was the most obvious truth in the world. “Yeah. Yeah, I really do.”
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Rent is due
Ever since moving in together, Lando had made one thing painfully clear—Y/N was not to worry about rent. No matter how many times she offered, no matter how many spreadsheets she pulled up with her “budget breakdown,” he stood firm, arms crossed, shaking his head with a smug little grin. Her only job? Groceries. And even then, he often tried to sneakily pay for those too, claiming he “accidentally” tapped his card first.
That particular afternoon, she was elbows deep in flour and chocolate chips, humming to herself as she shaped the final batch of cookies. The apartment smelled like warm sugar and vanilla, and her camera was cleverly hidden behind a canister of flour, angled perfectly to catch his reaction.
She had seen the trend on TikTok a few days earlier: partners telling their significant others they couldn’t pay their half of the rent. And while technically she didn’t pay any rent to begin with, she knew Lando would absolutely fall for it.
The moment she got his text, “Be home in 5. Want 3 cookies. Minimum.”, she put her plan into motion.
As if on cue, the door clicked open and she heard the familiar sound of keys hitting the entryway bowl.
“In the kitchen!” she called out, casually sliding a warm cookie onto a plate like she hadn’t been plotting for days.
Lando walked in seconds later, still in his hoodie and cap, hair a little messy from his sim session. His eyes lit up the second he saw the cookies, practically tossing his keys onto the counter.
“They’re still warm,” she said sweetly, offering him one. “I’m about to put the last batch in.”
He took a bite, groaning dramatically as he leaned over the counter, melting like he hadn’t eaten in weeks. “You’re actually a witch,” he mumbled through the cookie. “A dangerous, cookie-making sorceress.”
She giggled and kept scooping dough onto the tray, timing her moment perfectly.
“I do have to tell you something though,” she said, lowering her voice just a touch and furrowing her brows for maximum effect.
Lando glanced up, still chewing, immediately on alert. “Okay… what’s up?”
She hesitated, pretending to avoid his eyes, fingers fiddling with the cookie dough scoop. “I, um… I don’t think I can pay rent this month.”
He blinked. “What?”
“I had to use the money for something else. It was urgent. I’m really sorry.”
“Baby… baby.” Lando sets his half-eaten cookie down slowly, like he’s afraid any sudden movements might make things worse. He gently takes the spoon from her hand, brows drawn together in full confusion.
“What are you talking about? Since when do you pay rent?” he asks, voice calm but clearly alarmed.
She looks him straight in the eye, her expression painfully serious. “Since I moved in. I’ve just… been sending my half directly to the landlord.”
Lando stares at her, blinking slowly. “What do you mean the landlord?”
She shrugs, like it's the most obvious thing in the world. “I messaged her when I first moved in, asked for her payment details. Been paying her every month since.”
His jaw drops, cookie forgotten in his hand. “Wait. Elodie? Elodie from downstairs? Our Elodie?!”
She nods casually, scooping more cookie dough like she didn’t just drop a bomb.
“Babe…” He drags a hand down his face, the kind of motion that screams I’m too pretty to be this stressed. “I pay her. I’ve been paying her. Full rent. On autopay. Every month.”
“Well,” she says with a shrug, “so have I.”
He groans, pulling his phone out of his pocket. “Okay. Nope. I’m messaging her right now. She’s either been robbing us blind or you’ve been sending money to some random woman impersonating our landlord.”
Her eyes widen. “Wait—Lando. Lando, I was joking. It’s a prank, baby. A TikTok thing! Don’t message her!”
He freezes, thumb hovering over his screen. He slowly lifts his eyes to hers, blinking like he’s buffering. “You’re kidding?”
She nods, bursting into laughter. “Yes! Oh my god, you looked like you were about to write an angry landlord Yelp review.”
Lando tosses his phone onto the counter like it personally betrayed him. “Fuck me,” he mutters, picking up his half-eaten cookie and dramatically biting into it. “I genuinely thought we were bankrolling a secret apartment downstairs.”
She’s still laughing when he points the cookie at her. “You owe me. I want another dozen of these. For emotional damages.”
“Done,” she giggles, walking over to kiss his cheek. “Sorry for the stress, landlord.”
He groans again. “I swear, if I ever hear the word rent come out of your mouth again, I'm billing you in cookies.”
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Watch it
After weeks of watching Lando get relentlessly pranked by his girlfriend, and loving every second of it, Max Fewtrell finally slid into her messages with a proposal.
“Tag me in for the next one. I’ve got ideas.”
They landed on a viral couple's prank: the partner’s best friend acts rude to the girlfriend to see how the boyfriend reacts. Simple. Effective. Potentially explosive.
The perfect setup unfolded one chill evening in Lando’s gaming room. All three were squeezed into frame on Max’s Twitch stream, headsets on, fingers flying over their keyboards as they played a chaotic round of Repo together.
Midway through a match, Max dramatically slammed his headset on the desk. “Fucking hell, mate, can we take five? My ears are bleeding from the strategic nonsense I’m hearing.”
He and Y/N exchanged a quick smirk. Game on.
“I’m gonna get some water,” Max said, standing up with a loud stretch.
“Could you get me some too?” she asked sweetly.
Max scoffed like she’d just asked him to run a marathon. “What do I look like, your butler? Get it yourself.”
Lando looked up so fast he nearly dropped his phone. His eyes flicked from Max to Y/N, brows furrowing. “I’ll get you water, baby,” he said immediately, standing and brushing past Max with a suspicious glance.
Max bit his lip to stop from laughing. Phase one: complete.
Back at their seats, they dove into another match. That’s when Max really turned it up.
“Christ, are you even trying?” he snapped at her mid-round. “It’s like playing with a blindfolded hamster.”
Y/N bit her cheek to keep from laughing.
Lando didn’t even blink. “Nah, she’s doing great. You just suck at support, mate.”
Max rolled his eyes so hard it was a miracle they didn’t pop out. “Support? I’m carrying this team!”
Still no reaction.
So Max went nuclear.
Another loss. Another dramatic sigh. “Right. I’m done. Y/N, Fuck You’re like deadweight”
Lando froze. His entire vibe shifted.
“Max.”
His voice was low. Too low.
Max blinked innocently. “What? She knows she’s bad.”
“No, mate,” Lando said, leaning forward, elbows on the desk, stare locked on Max like he was calculating how long it would take to physically throw him out. “Don’t talk to her like that. Seriously. You've been a dick the whole stream.”
Max tried to hold it together. “Mate, relax. I’m just saying—”
“I don’t care,” Lando snapped, slamming the mute button on the mic. “You don’t get to act like a complete twat just because we’re on stream. You think it’s funny to shit on her all night? Grow the fuck up.”
Max’s eyes widened as he looked over to Y/N for a lifeline.
Lando caught that too. “Don’t look at her! Apologize. Now.”
At that, Max and Y/N burst into uncontrollable laughter.
Lando’s mouth fell open. “You’re joking.”
Max clutched his stomach, wheezing. “Mate. I thought you were about to physically eject me from the chair. Like WWE style.”
Y/N was doubled over laughing, wiping tears from her eyes.
Lando just leaned back in his chair, arms crossed, jaw tight. “I can’t believe I fell for that. You two are insufferable”
Max unmuted the mic, letting the stream hear their chaotic laughter. The chat was already spamming “PRANKED” and “protective Lando mode”
“I’m still sweating,” Max panted. “That vein in your forehead? It had its own heartbeat.”
Lando groaned. “You know what? Next time you both prank me, I’m calling your mum, Max. I swear.”
Y/N giggled, wrapping her arm around Lando. “You’re cute when you’re mad.”
“I was ready to throw him out the apartment” Lando smirked, finally cracking.
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miiilowo · 1 month ago
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Help an audhd + disabled trans dude move out and get away from his violent unstable mother (please)
pre-tldr: i need help with funds for moving into a new place, my mom is very violent and irrational, constantly yelling/stomping, i feel very unsafe and uncomfortable, we have over 15 cats she refuses to get rid of and its a huge drain on my mental health. its filthy here and i NEED to get out. ok full post now
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Hi 👋 my name is Milo. I'm 19, american, transmasc, audhd, got severe chronic pain and no medication for any of it. makes finding suitable jobs very difficult unfortunately
I currently live in an RV with my mom and have for around a year and a half after being homeless for about a year before that. We have a genuinely ABSURD number of cats (over 15 couped up in this tiny space), which is not only terrible for the cats, its terrible for my mental health, my moms, and is a big drain on our funds. We can barely afford to take care of them and no matter how much I plead with her to take some of them to a shelter or do SOMETHING she refuses to, so that should start painting a picture of the type of person I'm dealing with here.
Her temper is incredibly, INCREDIBLY short. She's impossible to be around, refuses to improve, is physically violent to our general surroundings / herself / occasionally the cats. She has thrown things at me before and threatened me. I generally dont feel safe or comfortable, and most times Ive tried getting her to stop any of the aforementioned behavior, she guilt trips me and things never change. Literally as I'm typing this she's been caterwauling, stomping and throwing things. What prompted this? No idea! This happens genuinely every single day. This is not an exaggeration. It's destroying my brain and I can't handle it anymore. This is going to sound particularly pitiful (sorry) but I do have capital T Trauma related to someone breaking into our house when I was home and loud noises / stomping / yelling does make me INCREDIBLY anxious, and no matter how many times I tell her this she doesn't give a shit. or if she does give a shit she doesnt give enough of a shit to change her attitude
She won't let me learn how to drive and (whether intentionally or not) obstructs any attempts I make to function as an adult. I'm currently self-employed on commissions, but it's not a living wage or something I could make into one (and remain sane. or keep up with). I'm actively searching for a job and have applied to several (fingers crossed) (will update this post when I get one) and, ideally, will be moving in with a friend of mine sometime in the late summer, but I need help with funds for moving in/covering rent for a bit/etc.
Since I do take commissions, if you want one of those and want to help with funds that way, that'll be an avenue for giving me money. I won't have them open 24/7 just to make things more manageable, but that'll be an option some of the time at least.
COMMISSION INFO (tumblr post link). Currently closed!
Otherwise, if you just wanna chip in (it would be VERY. VERY VERY VERY APPRECIATED):
Payp4l: millowo <- preferred
Venm0: miiilowo
GOAL: 720/4,000
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see this ^^^ ? thats my art im gonna have comms open soon ooh ahh HERES A BUNCH MORE TO LOOK AT IF YOURE INTERESTED BELOW THE CUT
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seumyo · 24 days ago
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how easy it would be to forge itoshi rin’s signature.
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“What’re you doing?”
Rin sat on your bed, his back pressed against the headboard, legs stretched out in front of him. Your dorm was decent, neat in some areas, and cluttered in others—nothing too bad to the point where it was concerning. The desk was stacked with books and loose papers, a mug of half-finished tea sat forgotten on the little kitchen counter, and the walls were decorated with a mix of posters that he remembered you saying that you liked, candid polaroids, and lots of memorabilia.
You sat cross-legged beside him, practically bouncing as you shoved your scrapbook into his lap, your excitement bubbling over like always. Rin had long since learned that when you got like this, there was no stopping you—only surviving.
Surviving meant just going with whatever it is that you wanted.
“You have to sign this page,” you said, pointing eagerly at a newly decorated spread.
“It’s for today, so I don’t forget it.”
Rin glanced down.
The page was filled with doodles—some of him, some of a soccer ball, and what seemed to be a very lopsided drawing of a goalpost. You’d also glued a small Polaroid of you two together from earlier, where you had ambushed him for a selfie after his practice.
Without a word, he picked up the pen (a glittery navy blue one, if he may add) you handed him and flipped to the empty space at the bottom of the page. He’d done this enough times that he didn’t need to think about it. With fluid, precise strokes, he wrote his full name: Itoshi Rin.
No embellishments, no fancy loops, just his name.
As soon as he finished, you leaned over to inspect it.
You blinked.
Then blinked again.
“That’s it?” you asked, tilting your head.
Rin frowned. “What?”
“I mean…” You pursed your lips, squinting at his handwriting like you were analyzing a piece of evidence. “Your signature is so simple. I could probably forge it.”
Rin immediately shot you a warning look, as if already giving you an internal monologue. “Don’t.”
“But it’s so easy,” you said, dragging out the last word as you grinned. “Like, I could totally get away with it.”
He sighed, running a hand down his face.
“Why would you want to?”
“Well,” you hummed, tapping your chin in exaggerated thought. “What if I need to sign something important on your behalf? Like, let’s say you’re too busy being a famous soccer player, and I need to approve some official documents for you.”
“You don’t.”
“But what if?” You smiled, leaning closer, eyes gleaming with mischief. “What if a brand deal needs your signature, and you’re not around, and the deadline is right now? I could save the day.”
“You’d get arrested for fraud.”
“Would I, though?” You poked his arm, and Rin shrugged with a quick, quiet sigh. “Because I’m pretty sure your manager would just be like, ‘Wow, what a responsible lover! Always taking care of Rin!’”
Rin’s face fell flat.
“No, they’d be like, ‘Wow, what a criminal. Get them arrested immediately.’”
You laughed, completely unbothered. “Okay, fine, I won’t forge your signature for business deals. But, hypothetically speaking, what if I had to? Like, say I get kidnapped—”
Rin groaned, already regretting engaging in this conversation.
“Why are you kidnapped now?”
“Because!” You gestured dramatically.
“Some rival team wants to use me as leverage against you. They tell me, ‘If Rin doesn’t throw his next match, we’ll make you disappear!’”
He let out a slow breath. “Then I’d just find you.”
“Oh?” You awed, tilting your head. “You’d come rescue me?”
Rin didn’t even hesitate.
Why would he?
“Obviously.”
For a brief moment, you paused, your playful demeanor faltering as you stared at him. Then, just as quickly, you shook off the thought and cheekily smiled.
“Okay, okay, new scenario,” you continued. “What if you get kidnapped—”
“Why am I getting kidnapped now?”
“Because you’re Rin Itoshi! Maybe some crazy fan takes you hostage, or a rival team wants to sabotage you, or, I don’t know, some billionaire wants to add you to their private collection of elite soccer players.”
“That’s not how people work.”
“Well, whatever the reason,” you said, waving a hand, “you’re held captive, and they demand that you sign a fake retirement letter so you can never play soccer again. But! You refuse because you’re stubborn, so they bring me in and tell me, ‘Forge his signature, or else!’”
Rin leaned his head back against the headboard, closing his eyes. He could feel you draping your legs over his, and he made no move to try to move them away. “I hate that you put this much thought into these things.”
“Come on, it’s fun.”
“No, it’s exhausting.”
“Well, since you refuse to make your signature harder to copy, you better hope no one actually tries to forge it.”
He cracked an eye open to give you a skeptical look. “Are you planning to?”
You gasped, placing a hand over your heart like he had just accused you of the worst crime imaginable. “Me? Your beloved? I would never commit fraud against you.”
Rin didn’t look convinced.
“Okay, okay,” you relented, leaning back against the pillows. “I won’t forge your signature. But you should really think about making it cooler. Maybe add a little flourish?”
“No.”
“An underline?”
“No.”
“A small soccer ball doodle at the end?”
“No.”
You pouted. “You have no fun.”
“And you have too much.”
You laughed again before turning your attention back to the scrapbook. Running a finger over his signature, you muttered, “Still, I bet I could copy it.”
Rin reached over and flicked your forehead.
“Ow!” You swatted at him, though there was no real force behind it.
He clicked his tongue, though softly. “Try it, and I’ll make sure you never get to hold my autograph again.”
You gasped dramatically. “You wouldn’t!”
“Try me.”
You huffed before flopping onto your stomach, burying your face into the bed. “You’re so mean.”
“And you’re ridiculous.”
“Yeah, but you like me anyway.”
Rin rolled his eyes but didn’t argue. Instead, he reached for your scrapbook, flipping through the pages filled with their memories. His name was already scrawled across several of them, marking the proof of your time together.
“Next time,” you said, peeking at him, “I’m making you sign in cursive.”
“No, you’re not.”
“Yes, I am.”
“No.”
“Just wait and see, Rin. I’ll wear you down eventually.”
Rin exhaled slowly. If it were anyone else, he would have dismissed the idea entirely. But this was you. If there was one thing he had learned about you, it was that you were relentless.
And, somehow, he didn’t really mind.
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SEUMYO © 2025. PLEASE DO NOT REPOST, PLAGIARIZE, MODIFY OR TRANSLATE.
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vetyr · 1 year ago
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hi, i ireally love your work and i don't know if you've answered this before but, what kinds of studies do you do or how did you learn color theory? i wanna get better at rendering and anatomy but im having trouble TT TT
Hi! Long answer alert. Once a chatterbox, always a chatterbox.
When I started actively learning how to draw about 10 1/2 years ago, I exclusively did graphite studies in sketchbooks. Here's a few examples—I mostly stuck to doing line drawings to drill basic shapes/contours and proportions into my brain. The more rendered sketches helped me practice edge control & basic values, and they were REALLY good for learning the actual 3D structure behind what I was drawing.
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I'd use reference images that I grabbed from fitness forums, Instagram, Tumblr, Pinterest, and some NSFW places, but you could find adequate ref material from figure drawing sites like Line of Action. LoA has refs for people (you can filter by clothed/unclothed, age, & gender), animals, expressions, hands/feet, and a few other useful things as well. Love them.
Learning how to render digitally was a similar story; it helped a lot that I had a pretty strong foundation for value/anatomy going in. I basically didn't touch color at all for ~2 years (except for a few attempts at bad digital or acrylic paint studies), which may not have been the best idea. I learned color from a lot of trial and error, honestly, and I'm pretty sure this process involved a lot of imitation—there were a number of digital/traditional painters whose styles I really wanted to emulate (notably their edge control, color choices, value distributions, and shape design), so I kiiind of did a mixture of that + my own experimentation.
For example, I really found Benjamin Björklund's style appealing, especially his softened/lost edges & vibrant pops of saturated color, so here's a study I did from some photograph that I'm *pretty* sure was painted with him in mind.
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Learning how to detail was definitely a slow process, and like all the aforementioned things (anatomy/color/edge control/values/etc.) I'm still figuring it out. Focusing on edge control first (that is, deciding on where to place hard/soft edges for emphasizing/de-emphasizing certain areas of the image) is super useful, because you can honestly fool a viewer into thinking there's more detail in a piece than there actually is if you're very economical about where you place your hard edges.
The most important part, to me, is probably just doing this stuff over and over again. You're likely not going to see improvement in a few weeks or even a few months, so don't fret about not getting the exact results you want and just keep studying + making art. I like to think about learning art as a process where you *need* to fail and make crappy art/studies—there's literally no way around it—so you might as well fail right now. See, by making bad art you're actually moving forward—isn't that a fun prospect!!
It's useful to have a folder with art you admire, especially if you can dissect the pieces and understand why you like them so much. You can study those aspects (like, you can redraw or repaint that person's work) and break down whether this is art that you just like to look at, or if it's the kind of art that you want to *make.* There's a LOT of art out there that I love looking at, probably tens of thousands of styles/mediums, but there's a very narrow range that I want to make myself.
I've mentioned it in some ask reply in the past, but I really do think looking at other artist's work is such a cheat code for improving your own skills—the other artist does the work to filter reality/ideas for you, and this sort of allows you to contact the subject matter more directly. I can think of so many examples where an artist I admired exaggerated, like, the way sunlight rested on a face and created that orange fringe around its edge, or the greys/dull blues in a wheat field, or the bright indigo in a cast shadow, or the red along the outside of a person's eye, and it just clicked for me that this was a very available & observable aspect of reality, which had up until that point gone completely unnoticed! If you're really perceptive about the art you look at, it's shocking how much it can teach you about how to see the world (in this particular case I mean this literally, in that the art I looked at fully changed the way I visually processed the world, but of course it has had a strong effect on my worldviews/relationships/beliefs).
Thanks so much for sending in a question (& for reading, if you got this far)! I read every single ask I receive, including the kind words & compliments, which I genuinely always appreciate. Best of luck with learning, my friend :)
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catbolt · 1 month ago
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— SYLUS HEADCANONS PT 3.
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part 1, part 2 - more headcanons for the loml (fluff)
drinks his morning coffee standing out on the porch like a dad
this man will 100% leave messages for you in the condensation on the mirror after he takes a shower. whether it's a "you look beautiful", a cat drawing, or a smiley face with "have a good day", he makes sure to leave a silly little doodle to put a smile on your face in the morning
always back hugs you and rests his chin on top of your head, which is easy to do because he's so much taller (i headcanon he's 6'4/193cm and istg i am right about that)
i think sylus is an EXPERT flower purchaser. the bouquets he pulls together are genuinely works of art. no supermarket flowers from this guy considering he has a florist on retainer to provide regular fresh flowers for his house and for your weekly bouquets that always incorporate your favorite flower.
he's so self-assured. he literally has no doubt about exactly how and when he can get something done and he's right every single time. it's not cockiness or arrogance exactly, except when he's joking around, just a calm and deep-seated confidence that exudes in everything he does. he also just knows himself really, really well, and if he can't do something he admits so easily, never over-exaggerating his capabilities. "i don't know how, but i'll learn" is his attitude— especially when you're the one asking.
sylus has a modest little wood cabin in the forest outside the city for private vacations whenever he needs a break from being the leader of onychinus. he brings mephisto so he can play with the wild crows and birds for enrichment. it's his most private space, so it took a long time for him to bring you there, but now you spend weekends there together regularly.
despite having a refined palate and infinite opportunities to experience fine dining, sylus 100% has a junk food guilty pleasure and will absolutely never say no to a late night drive thru run
always says he's not interested in reality tv but consistently ends up standing behind the couch when you're watching *insert trashy reality show* intensely invested. acts like he doesn't care but then later that night he's lying in bed ranting to you like "i can't believe brad is going to the altar with veronica after he led britney on for the past four episodes"
he honestly just loves staring at you. not in a creepy way, but he does love to watch whatever you do, whether it be working, getting ready for a night out, sleeping, even just sitting around scrolling on your phone. he isn't a chatty guy and truly enjoys the moments where he gets to silently admire you in your natural state.
he always ensures you feel genuinely comfortable with whatever you two are doing. he's good at reading you and is exceptionally aware of when you're placating or people-pleasing: "tell me what you really want," "i can tell when you're lying, sweetheart," "i need you to be honest with me, baby. it doesn't make me happy when you try to tell me what you think i want to hear." whether you like it or not, he always knows when you're lying and pushes you to speak your mind.
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violetrainbow412-blog · 1 year ago
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A fair payment [W. W.]
Willy Wonka x fem!reader
word count: 1.5k
People who might be interested: @strugglingwriterwattpad @cattail5 [Timothée masterlist]
some minor Wonka spoilers I guess! If you like it, tell me in the comments, that will make me happy :)
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“Can you mend it?” Willy asked, carefully holding his emerald green jacket that had the sleeve seam torn.
The boy had arrived a couple of weeks ago to turn the world of everyone present in the laundry upside down and, honestly, you were already beginning to enjoy his presence. You looked in the background at the blackboard that Noodle used at night to give him lessons in the hope that he would learn to read because, according to the girl's words, because of that he was almost eaten by a tiger. But in the man's words, what was important was the almost part. 
However, tonight he had asked you especially to go to his room, because he had a problem that he thought only you could solve.
“I think so, I just have to pass the needle a couple of times” you smiled.
Since your arrival Mrs. Scrubbit had used your sewing skills for her own benefit, because after all you had ended up in that mess trying to save a little to be able to buy the necessary materials to make a pretty dress that would be worth enough to advance in the business. Although, obviously, that had not been possible.
"Thank you! I'm afraid that's my only jacket."
“It will be ready in no time. I’ll just go to my room and come back, okay?” you said kindly, placing the garment in the boy's lap and earning a sweet smile from the aforementioned.
Just as Willy had his little briefcase for his chocolates, you had your own, full of threads, needles, and buttons, which you just had to grab from the floor to get everything you needed. When you arrived back you settled at the little table and he remained attentive to your every movement, pulling out a chair so he could observe what you were about to do.
“There was a boy on the ship who helped me with these things,” he began to tell you, keeping his curious nose on your shoulder “But I never thought about learning. You know, for when I had to be alone”
“Well, it's lucky you ended up here. We are a curious collection of workers,” you murmured ironically, referring to all the people gathered there against their will by the work of fate "What did you do on the ship?"
"Cook. Mostly sweet things, but I also know a couple of useful non-chocolate-related recipes. I was the chef,” he said, and you laughed at the exaggerated way he pronounced the last bit.
Willy began to tell you about some of the adventures he had had on the high seas and you listened attentively as the tip of the needle went in and out to join the fabric. It only took a few minutes to get his clothes looking like new, taking the liberty of repairing other places that also needed it.
“Put it on,” you asked, trying not to look at him too much when he did so or pay attention to the way the jacket fit him perfectly.
"It is perfect! You can't even tell it was torn, huh?” he said with emotion, feeling with his hands as much as he could. “How much do I owe you?”
“Oh, it's nothing.”
“I insist,” the man murmured. His curly hair bounced across his cheeks as he sat next to you and he lifted his small briefcase off the floor, opening it to reveal all the little bottles of ingredients. “Your talent for mine. It's a fair exchange."
You had to admit that the chocolates you had eaten were a complete delicacy, but a part of you didn't want to get used to that luxury or you knew that when Willy was gone you would miss his sweetness. In the literal and figurative sense.
Locked in that laundry it was impossible to meet many people your age and Noodle was your greatest company, as if he were a little sister to you. But now that he was there, there was a certain happiness in chatting with him, much more now that his ingenious mind had devised a way to get you out of there even if it was just for a few hours to see the light of day and get coins from the sale of the chocolates to free you of the enormous debt to Mrs. Scrubbit.
“What flavor do you want to try today? Do you want me to add some unicorn skin glitter? Rays of sunlight from a twilight on the seashore? Tears of an African crocodile?”
“Just give me something you think I need,” you replied softly.
Willy thought about it for a moment, because it wasn't the kind of answer he would have expected. What was he supposed to give you that night? A little hope? Happiness? Nostalgia? It was difficult to decide.
Through his bright eyes you watched him reflect and just a second later his hands began to work. You noticed there was a hint of mischief in his smile as he poured milk, chocolate, and the contents of a couple of jars into the processor, glancing at you from the corner of his eye from time to time.
“What are you going to do when we get out of here?” he asked suddenly, not neglecting the tasks.
“Working in a sewing workshop, I guess.”
“Why don't you open your own fashion house?” Willy suggested carefreely, as if it were a very easy thing to do, “You are a great dressmaker.”
“And you are a great dreamer”
“It's my best quality,” he exclaimed, almost offended. You waited a moment before answering.
“I just don't think it's that simple. It requires effort, time, and a lot of money…”
“We will have everything,” he interrupted you, with that optimism that characterized him. Suddenly he stopped what he was doing and one of his hands traveled to take yours. “When I open my factory, we will all be able to fulfill our dreams. And you are going to have a fashion house, I promise you.”
“You make a lot of promises,” you responded, blushing.
“And he planned to fulfill them all. I always do it"
Maybe there was something about the softness of his grip on your hand or perhaps the sparkle in his eyes that made you look away out of sheer nervousness. He seemed to be good and innocent, to the point that he probably didn't even realize how close he was to you or how inappropriate the position would be if Noodle ever walked in.
A tap interrupted your moment and then he abruptly pulled away, excited to show you the product he had just made. It was a pretty circular candy that was bright pink and seemed to be emanating smoke from the inside.
"What's that?"
“You'll have to try it to find out,” he murmured, as he extended the treat in your direction.
You had to admit that you were somewhat curious to discover what the man was offering you, so you took it between your fingers carefully, and even under his watchful gaze you took a bite.
At first it tasted like ordinary chocolate, but then it took on a strange tone, which made you feel a certain warmth in your chest that spread to your cheeks. It was a most pleasant feeling, like bubbly joy combined with the embarrassment of a hug.
You thought for a moment about what flavor that could be, without any success, until after a few seconds you realized that it wasn’t a flavor in itself, but a feeling, an experience... Was it love that Willy had given you?
“How does it taste?”
“Yummy,” you responded, covering your mouth so he wouldn’t see the wet chocolate on your tongue, but also to hide your smile “Delicious, actually. What does it contain?”
“A special and secret ingredient”
"Oh, come on! Aren’t you going to tell me?”
“I just want to know if I got it right,” he murmured and you frowned slightly, not understanding him “About what you asked for. Did I give you something you needed?”
You had to bite your lip to keep from smiling again, your cheeks feeling hot from the simple fact that he was looking at you. You thought that this could even be a love potion that you had consumed without thinking about it, just because he was the one who was offering it to you.
“We could say yes”
“We're even, then,” he exclaimed as he waved the sleeve of his jacket and you nodded in amusement, eating the rest of the chocolate he had made for you.
A yawn leaving your lips made you aware of how exhausted you were and although you didn't love the idea, you knew it was time to leave.
“It's late, I should go to sleep before we wake anyone up.”
“Yes, yes, of course,” Willy said quickly, getting up from his seat to accompany you to the exit. “I'll see you tomorrow.”
“Rest,” you said kindly, and, gathering courage, you leaned forward a little to say goodbye with a hug that he gladly returned.
As you walked down the hall to your shabby, damp room, you thought that it probably wouldn't have even taken a love potion to fall for the charms of the pleasant chocolatier. You just needed one of his smiles.
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creatingblackcharacters · 6 months ago
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“The bulging eyes and the twisted mouth” - Violence, Violent Imagery & Black Horror
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TRIGGER WARNING: mentions of death, violence, blood, hate crimes, antiblackness, police violence, rape
Note! I am going to be speaking from a Black American point of view, as my identity informs my experience. That said, antiblackness itself is international. The idea of my Blackness as a threat, as a source of fear and violence to repress and to destroy, is something every Black person in the world that has ever dealt with white supremacy has experienced.
There are two things, I think, that are important to note as we start this conversation.
One: there is a long history of violence towards Black bodies that is due to our dehumanization. People do not care for the killing of a mouse in the way they care about a human. But if you think the people you are dealing with are not people, but animals- more particularly, pests, something distasteful- then you will be able to rationalize treating them as such.
Two: even though we live in a time period where that overt belief of Blackness as inhuman is less likely, we must recognize that there are centuries of belief behind this concept; centuries of arguments and actions that cement in our minds that a certain amount of violence towards Blackness is normal. That subconscious belief you may hold is steeped in centuries of effort to convince you of it without even questioning it. And because of this very real re-enforcement of desensitization, naturally another place this will manifest itself is in how we tell and comprehend stories.
There are also three points I'm about to make first- not the only three that can ever be made, but the ones that stand out the most to me when we talk about violence with Black characters:
One: Your Black readers may experience that scene you wrote differently than you meant anyone to, just because our history may change our perspective on what’s happening.
Two: The idea that Black characters and people deserve the pain they are experiencing.
Three: The disbelief or dismissal of the pain of Black characters and people.
You Better Start Believing In Ghost Stories- You’re In One
I don’t need to tell Black viewers scary fairytales of sadists, body snatchers and noncoincidental disappearances, cannibals, monsters appearing in the night, and dystopian, unjust systems that bury people alive- real life suffices! We recognize the symbolism because we’ve seen real demons.
Some real examples of familiar, terrifying stories that feel like drama, but are real experiences:
12 Years a Slave: “This is no fiction, no exaggeration. If I have failed in anything, it has been in presenting to the reader too prominently the bright side of the picture. I doubt not hundreds have been as unfortunate as myself; that hundreds of free citizens have been kidnapped and sold into slavery, and are at this moment wearing out their lives on plantations in Texas and Louisiana.” – Solomon Northup
When They See Us: I can’t get myself to watch When They See Us, because I learned about the actual trial of the Central Park Five- now the Exonerated Five- in my undergrad program. Five teen Black and brown boys, subjected to racist and cruel policing and vilification in the media- from Donald Trump calling for their deaths in the newspaper, to being imprisoned under what the Clintons deemed a generation of “superpredators” during a “tough on crime” administration. And as audacious as it is to say, as Solomon Northup explained, they were fortunate. The average Black person funneled into the prison system doesn’t get the opportunity to make it back out redeemed or exonerated, because the system is designed to capture and keep them there regardless of their innocence or guilt. Their lives are irreparably changed; they are forever trapped.
Jasper, Texas: Learning about the vicious, gruesome murder of James Byrd Jr, was horrific- and that was just the movie. No matter how “community comes together” everyone tells that story, the reality is that there are people who will beat you, drag you chained down a gravel road for three miles as your body shreds away until you are decapitated, and leave your mangled body in front of a Black church to send a message… Because you’re Black and they hate you. To date I am scared when I’m walking and I see trucks passing me, and don’t let them have the American or the Confederate flag on them. Even Ahmaud Arbery, all he was doing was jogging in his hometown, and white men from out of town decided he should be murdered for that.
Do you want to know what all of these men and boys, from 1841 to 2020, had in common? What they did to warrant what happened to them? Being outside while Black. Some might call it “wrong place wrong time”, but the reality is that there is no “right place”. Sonya Massey, Breonna Taylor- murdered inside their home. Where else can you be, if the danger has every right to barge inside? There is no “safe”.
It is already Frightening to live while Black- not because being Black is inherently frightening, but because our society has made it horrific to do so. But that leads into my next point:
“They Shouldn’t Have Resisted”
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Think of all the videos of assaulted and murdered Black people from police violence. If you can stomach going into the comments- which I don’t, anymore- you’ll see this classic comment of hate in the thousands, twisting your stomach into knots:
“if they obeyed the officer, if they didn’t resist, this wouldn’t have happened”
Another way our punitive society normalizes itself is via the idea of respectability politics; the idea that “if you are Good, if you do what you are Supposed to do, you will not be hurt- I will not have to hurt you”. Therefore, if my people are always suffering violence, it must be because we are Bad. And in a society that is already less gracious to Black people, that is more likely to think we are less human, that we are innately bad and must earn the right to be exceptional… the use of excessive violence towards me must be the natural outcome. “If your people weren’t more likely to be criminals, there wouldn’t be the need to be suspicious of you”- that is the way our society has taught us to frame these interactions, placing the blame for our own victimization on us.
Sidebar: I would highly suggest reading The New Jim Crow, written in 2010 by Michelle Alexander, to see how this mentality helps tie into large scale criminalization and mass incarceration, and how the cycle is purposely perpetuated.
You have to constantly be aware of how you look, walk and talk- and even then, that won’t be enough to save you if the time comes. The turning point for me, personally, was the murder of Sandra Bland. If she could be educated, beautiful, a beacon of her community, be everything a “Good” Black person is supposed to be… and still be murdered via police violence, they can kill any of us. And that’s a very terrifying thought- that anything at any point can be the reason for your death, and it will be validated because someone thinks you shouldn’t have “been that way”. And that way has far less to do with what you did, than it does who you are. Being “that way” is Black.
My point is, if this belief is so normalized in real life about violence on Black bodies- that somehow, we must have done something to deserve this- what makes you think that this belief does not affect how you comprehend Black people suffering in stories?
Hippocratic Oath
Human experimentation? Vivisection? Organ stealing? Begging for medicine? Dramatically bleeding out? Not trusting just anyone to see that you are hurt, because they might take advantage? All very real fears. The idea that pain is normal for Black people is especially rampant in the healthcare field, where ideas like our melanin making our skin thick enough to feel less pain (no), an overblown fear of ‘drug misuse’, and believing we are overexaggerating our pain makes many Black people being unwilling to trust the healthcare system. And it comes down to this thought:
If you think that I feel less pain, you will allow me to suffer long before you believe that I am in pain.
I was psychologically spiraling I was in so much pain after my wisdom teeth removal, and my surgeon was more concerned about “addiction to the medication”. Only because Hot Chocolate’s mom is a nurse, did I get an effective medicine schedule. My mother ended up with jaw rot because her surgeon outright claimed that she didn’t believe that she was in more than the ‘healing’ pain after her wisdom teeth were removed. She also has a gigantic, macabre (and awesome fr) scar on her stomach from a c-section she received after four days of labor attempting to have me… all because she was too poor and too Black to afford better doctors who wouldn’t have dismissed her struggles to push.
As a major example of dismissed Black pain: let’s discuss the mortality rate of Black women during childbirth, as well as the likelihood of our children to die. When we say “they will let you bleed to death”, we mean it.
“Black women have the highest maternal mortality rate in the United States — 69.9 per 100,000 live births for 2021, almost three times the rate for white women, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. Black babies are more likely to die, and also far more likely to be born prematurely, setting the stage for health issues that could follow them through their lives.”
Even gynecology roots in dismissal (and taking brutal advantage of) Black women's pain:
“The history of this particular medical branch … it begins on a slave farm in Alabama,” Owens said. “The advancement of obstetrics and gynecology had such an intimate relationship with slavery, and was literally built on the wounds of Black women.” Reproductive surgeries that were experimental at the time, like cesarean sections, were commonly performed on enslaved Black women. Physicians like the once-heralded J. Marion Sims, an Alabama doctor many call the “father of gynecology,” performed torturous surgical experiments on enslaved Black women in the 1840s without anesthesia. And well after the abolition of slavery, hospitals performed unnecessary hysterectomies on Black women, and eugenics programs sterilized them.”
If you think Black characters are not in pain, or that they’re overexaggerating, you’re more likely to be okay with them suffering more in comparison to those whose pain you take more seriously- to those you believe.
What’s My Point?
My point is that whatever terrifying scene you think you’re writing, whatever violent whump scenario you think you’re about to put your Black characters through, there’s a chance it has probably happened and was treated as nonimportant (damn shame, right?) And when those terrifying scenes are both written and read, the way their suffering will be felt depends on how much you as a reader care, how much you believe they are suffering.
There’s a joke amongst readers of color that many dystopian tales are tales of “what happened if white people experienced things that the rest of us have already been put through?” Think concepts like alien invasion and mass eradication of the existing population- you may think of that as an action flick, meanwhile peoples globally have suffered colonization for centuries. The Handmaid’s Tale- forced birthing and raising of “someone else’s” children, always subject to sexual harassment by the Master while subject to hate from the Mistress- that’s just being a Mammy.
There’s nothing wrong with having Black characters be violent or deal with violence, especially in a story where every character is going through shit. That is not the problem! What I am trying to tell you, though, is to be aware that certain violent imagery is going to evoke familiarity in Black viewers. And if I as a Black viewer see my very real traumas treated as entertainment fodder- or worse, dismissed- by the narrative and other viewers, I will probably not want to consume that piece of media anymore. I will also question the intentions and the beliefs of the people who treat said traumas so callously. Now, if that’s not something you care about, that’s on you! But for people who do care, it is something we need to make sure we are catching before we do it.
“So I just can’t write anything?!”
Stop that. There are plenty of examples of stories containing horror and violence with Black characters. There’s an entire genre of us telling our own stories, using the same violence as symbolism. I’m not telling you “no” (least not always). I’m telling you to take some consideration when you write the things that you do. There’s nothing wrong about writing your Black characters being violent or experiencing violence. But there is a difference between making it narratively relevant, and thoughtlessly using them as a “spook”, a stereotypical scary Black person, or a punching bag, especially in a way that may invoke certain trauma.
The Black Guy Dies First
The joke is that we never survive these horror movies because we either wouldn’t be there to begin with, or because we would make better decisions and the narrative can’t have that. But the reality is just that a lot of writers find Black characters- Black people- expendable in comparison to their white counterparts, and it shows. More of a “here, damn” sort of character, not worth investment and easy to shrug off. The book itself I haven’t read, just because it’s pretty new, but I’m looking forward to doing so. But from the summaries, it goes into horror media history and how Black characters have fared in these stories, as well as how that connects to the society those characters were written in. I.e., a thorough version of this lesson.
Instead, I wrote an entire list of questions you could possibly ask yourself involving violence or villainy involving a Black character. Feel free to print it and put it on your wall where you write if you have to! I cannot stress enough that asking yourself questions like these are good both for your creation and just… being less antiblack in general when you consume media.
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Black Horror/Black Thriller
We, too, have turned our violent experiences into stories. I continue to highly suggest watching our films and reading our stories to see how we convey our fear, our terror, our violence and our pain. There are plenty of stories that work- Get Out, The Angry Black Girl and her Monster, Candyman, Lovecraft Country (the show) and Nanny are some examples. There’s even a blog by the co-writer of The Black Guy Dies First who runs BlackHorrorMovies where he reviews horror movies from throughout the decades.
Desiree Evans has a great essay, We Need Black Horror More Than Ever, that gets into why this genre is so creative and effective, that I think says what I have to say better than I could.
“Even before Peele, Black horror had a rich literary lineage going back to the folklore of Africa and its Diaspora. Stories of haints, witches, curses, and magic of all kinds can be found in the folktales collected by author and anthropologist Zora Neale Hurston and in the folktales retold by acclaimed children’s book author Virginia Hamilton. One of my earliest childhood literary memories is being entranced by Hamilton’s The House of Dies Drear and Patricia McKissack’s children’s book classic The Dark-Thirty: Southern Tales of the Supernatural, both examples of the ways Black authors have tapped into Black history along with our rich ghostlore.” “Black horror can be clever and subversive, allowing Black writers to move against racist tropes, to reconfigure who stands at the center of a story, and to shift the focus from the dominant narrative to that which is hidden, submerged. To ask: what happens when the group that was Othered, gets to tell their side of the story?”
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For on the nose simplicity, I’m going to use hood classic Tales From The Hood (1994) as an example of how violence can be integrated into Black horror tales. Tales From The Hood is like… The Twilight Zone by Black people. Messages discussing issues in our community, done through a mystical twist. Free on Tubi! If you want to stop here before some spoilers, it’s an hour and a half. A great time!
In the first story, a Black political activist is murdered by the cops. The scene is reflective of the real-world efforts to discredit and even murder activists speaking out against police violence, as well as the types of things done to criminalize Black citizens for capture. The song Strange Fruit plays in the background, to drive the point home that this is a lynching.
The second story deals with a Black little boy experiencing abuse in the home, drawing a green monster to show his teacher why he’s covered in wounds and is lashing out at school.
The fourth story is about a gangbanger who undergoes “behavioral modification” to be released from prison early. Think of the classic scene from A Clockwork Orange. He must watch as imagery of the Klan and of happy whites lynching Black bodies (real-life pictures and video, mind you!) play into his mind alongside gang violence.
Isn’t Violence Stereotypical or antiblack?
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That last story from Tales From The Hood leads into a good point. It can be! But it does not have to be! Violence is a human experience. By suggesting we don’t experience it or commit it, you would be denying everything I’ve just spoken about. We don’t have to be racist to write our Black characters in violent situations. We also don’t have to comprehend those situations through a racist lens.
Even experiences that seem “stereotypical” do not have to be comprehended that way. I get a LOT of questions about if something is stereotypical, and my response is always that it depends on the writing!!! You could give me a harmless prompt and it becomes the most racist story ever once you leave my inbox. But you could give me a “stereotypical” prompt and it be genuine writing.
Let’s take the movie Juice for example. Juice in my honest to God opinion becomes a thriller about halfway in. On its surface, Juice looks like bad Black boys shooting and cursing and doing things they aren’t supposed to be doing! Incredibly stereotypical- violent young thugs. You might think, “you shouldn’t write something like this- you’re telling everyone this is what your community is like”. First- there’s that respectability politics again! Just because something is not a “respectable” story does not mean it doesn’t need to be told!
But if we’re actually paying attention, what we’re looking at is four young boys dealing with their environment in different ways. All four of them originally stick together to feel power amongst their brotherhood as they all act tough and discover their own identities. They are not perfect, but they are still kids. In this environment, to be tough, to be strong, you do the things that they are doing. You run from cops, you steal from stores, you mess with all the girls and talk shit and wave weapons. That’s what makes you “big”. That’s what gives you the “juice”- and the “juice” can make you untouchable.
I want to focus particularly on Bishop, yes, played by Tupac. Bishop, the antagonist of Juice, is particularly powerless, angry, and scared of the world around him. He puts on a big front of bravado, yelling, cursing, and talking big because he’s tired of being afraid, and he doesn’t know how to deal with it otherwise. So when he gets access to a gun- to power- he quickly spirals out of control. His response to his fear is to wave around a tool that makes him feel stronger, that stops the things that scare him from scaring him.
Now, that is not a unique tale! That is a tale that any race could write about, particularly young white men with gun violence! If you ever cared for Fairuza Balk’s character in The Craft, it is a similar fall from grace. But because it is on a young, Black man in the hood, audiences are less likely to empathize with Bishop. And granted, Bishop is unhinged! But many a white character has been, and is not shoved into a stereotype that white people cannot escape from!
Now would I be comfortable if a nonblack person attempted to write a narrative like Juice? Yes, because I’d worry about the tendency to lose the messaging and just fall into stereotype outright. But it can be done! The story can be told!
“But if Black violence bad, why rap?”
The short answer:
“In order for me to write poetry that isn’t political, I must listen to the birds, and in order to hear the birds, the warplanes must be silent.”
Marwhan Makhoul, Palestinian Poet
First, rap is not “only violence and misogyny”. Step your understanding of the genre up; there are plenty of options outside of the mainstream that don’t discuss those things. Second, every genre of music has mainstream popular songs about vice and sin. The idea that Black rappers have to be held to a higher standard is yet another example of how we are seen as inherently bad and must prove ourselves good. We could speak about nothing but drugs and alcohol and 1) there would still be white artists who do the very same and 2) we would still deserve to be treated like humans.
That said, many- not all- rappers rap about violence for the same reason Billy Joel wrote We Didn’t Start the Fire, the same reason Homer first spoke The Iliad- because they have something to say about it! They stand in a long tradition of people using poetry and rhythm to tell stories. Rap is an art of storytelling!
Rap is often used as an expression of frustration and righteous anger against a system built to keep us trapped within it. I’m not allowed to be angry? Why wouldn’t I be angry? Anger is a protective emotion, often when one feels helpless. Young Black people also began to reclaim and glorify the violence they lived in within their music, to take pride in their survival and in their success in a world that otherwise wanted them to fail. If I think the world fights against me no matter what I do, I’d rather live in pride than in shame with a bent head. Is it right? Maybe, maybe not. But if you don’t want them to rap about violence, why not alleviate the things leading to the violence in their environment?
Whether you choose to listen to their words, because the delivery scares you- and trust, angry Black men scared the music industry and society- doesn’t make the story any less valid!
Conclusion
I am going to drop a classic by Slick Rick called Children’s Story. I think listening to it- and I mean genuinely listening- summarizes what I’ve said here about how Black creators can tell stories, even violent ones, and how even the delivery through Blackness can change how you perceive them. Please take the time to listen before continuing.
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I’ve been alive for 28 years and have known this song my whole life, and it just hit me tonight: not once is the kid in this story identified as Black! My perception of this story was completely altered by my own experiences, who told the story, and how it was told.
That’s what I’m trying to tell you. You can tell stories of violence that involve Black characters. I love and adore a good hurt/comfort myself! But you need to be cognizant of your audience and how they’ll perceive the story you’re telling, and that includes the types of imagery you include. It’s not effective catharsis via hurt/comfort for the audience if your Black readers are being completely left out of the comfort. “I wrote this for myself” that’s cool, but… if you wrote racism for yourself, and you’re willing to admit that to yourself, that’s on you. I’d like to think that’s not your intention! You can write these stories of woe and pain without mistreating your Black characters- but that requires knowing and acknowledging when and how you’re doing that!
@afropiscesism makes a solid point in this post: our horror stories are not just fairytales full of amorphous boogiemen meant to teach lessons. Racial violence is very real, very alive, and we cannot act like the things we write can be dismissed outright as “oh well it’s not real”. Sure, those characters aren’t real. But the way you feel about Black bodies and violence is, and often it can slip into your writing as a pattern without you even realizing it. Be willing to get uncomfortable and check yourself on this as you write, as well as noticing it in other works!
If you’re constantly thinking “I would never do this”, you’ll never stop yourself when you inevitably do! If you know what violent imagery can be evoked, you can utilize it or avoid it altogether- but only if you’re willing to get honest about it. You might not intend to do any of this, but it doesn’t matter if you don’t change the pattern, because as always, it’s the thought that counts, but the action that delivers!
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lxvsiick · 7 months ago
Text
KISS ME RIGHT | MYUNG JAEHYUN
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PAIRING: down bad! frat boy! myung jaehyun x library worker! fem! reader 
SUMMARY: Jaehyung goes to the library everyday to see Y/n even though he's never touched a book in his life.
GENRE: fluff, imagine, frat boy
WORDCOUNT: 2k
WARNING: kissing scene towards the end!
A/N: Inspired by KISS ME RIGHT by Keshi -- the song is finally out! i've been waiting ever since his last tour ,, this song reminds of jaehyun’s flirty personality so ENJOY!
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The double doors of the library swung open with an exaggerated flair, and every head inside turned like it was a reflex. There he was again—Jaehyun, in all his glory. Hair tousled like he'd just come from the gym, a hoodie slung over his shoulder, and that ridiculous smile that could charm the paint off the walls. He strutted into the library like it was the hottest club on campus, and not the quietest place within a ten-mile radius.
Whispers buzzed through the aisles.
"Is that Jaehyun again?"
"Does he even know what a book is?"
"Bro, he’s here every day now. Do you think he lost a bet?"
But Jaehyun didn’t care. He barely noticed the stares anymore. All he cared about was making his way to the front desk, where Y/n sat. She looked calm, focused, her fingers flying over the keyboard, the glow from her computer screen highlighting her face. She didn’t even look up as he approached.
Jaehyun cleared his throat a little too loudly, startling a student reading in the corner.
"Yo, uh... hey," he said, trying to sound casual, like he hadn’t spent the last twenty minutes rehearsing those two words in his head.
She finally glanced up, her brow furrowed in mild confusion. It was like she was wondering why this human embodiment of a golden retriever was trying to infiltrate her serene library world.
"You’re here again?" she asked, her voice neutral but with a hint of amusement.
Jaehyun rubbed the back of his neck, his usual swagger deflating slightly under her gaze. But he quickly recovered, flashing that winning smile that got him into any party, out of any trouble, and, hopefully, into her good graces.
"Yeah, you know... studying and stuff."
She raised an eyebrow, glancing at the completely empty table he had staked out for himself behind her. No books. No laptop. Not even a notebook. Just him, spinning a pen between his fingers like he was preparing for the next big test in... nothing.
"Studying?" she echoed, clearly unconvinced.
"Yeah, you know... brushing up on... the Dewey Decimal System." He threw in a dramatic wink, like it was the cleverest thing anyone had ever said about libraries.
She didn’t laugh, but there was a tiny, almost imperceptible quirk of her lips. Success.
"Right. Well, let me know if you need help finding a book... or learning how to read." Her voice was dry, and Jaehyun's grin widened.
"Ouch, brutal," he chuckled, his face lighting up like she had just complimented him.
She turned back to her screen, though he could tell she wasn’t entirely brushing him off. That was all the encouragement he needed. Without another word, he made his way to his usual table—smack in the middle of her line of sight. He didn’t sit like a regular person. He flopped down with a dramatic sigh, then spread out across the chair like he was getting ready for a nap, not a study session.
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From her seat, Y/n could feel his presence, like a beam of sunshine she wasn’t sure she needed right now. Every time she glanced up, there he was, pretending to flip through the pages of some random book he’d grabbed. Every few minutes, he'd peek over the top of the pages to check if she was looking.
At one point, Taesan and Leehan walked by and nearly stopped in their tracks when they saw Jaehyun actually holding a book. Leehan nudged Taesan, eyes wide in disbelief.
"Dude, I think he’s... reading?"
Taesan snorted. "Nah, he's definitely planning something. Probably trying to get out of doing chores at the frat house."
Jaehyun pretended not to hear them, but he couldn’t help shooting a quick grin their way. Let them talk. He was on a mission—a mission that involved far more staring at Y/n than reading anything resembling words.
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As the library’s closing time approached, the once-crowded space thinned out. Y/n was busy packing up her things behind the desk, when she noticed Jaehyun still lounging in his seat, scrolling through his phone. Everyone else had left, but he lingered like he had all the time in the world.
She walked over, standing at his table, crossing her arms with a bemused expression. "You know we’re closing, right?"
He glanced up, his puppy-like enthusiasm returning as if she’d just thrown him a bone. "Oh, yeah, totally. Just waiting for the right moment to—" He glanced down at the book in front of him and then looked back up, suddenly sheepish. "—check this out. For... studying. You know, tomorrow."
She shook her head, but this time, the smile she’d been holding back all day finally broke through.
"You’re hopeless."
He stood up, grinning ear-to-ear. "Nah, just... committed."
She raised an eyebrow, a challenge in her eyes. "To studying?"
He stepped closer, playful but serious. "To you."
For a second, there was nothing but the sound of the quiet, empty library around them. Then she laughed—soft, real. And in that moment, he knew every second of pretending to study had been worth it.
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The bass from the speakers thumped through the walls of the frat house as Jaehyun stood near the kitchen, laughing with his friends. Red Solo cups in hand, they exchanged stories from the week, loud banter filling the air. Jaehyun was mid-sentence when something—or rather, someone—caught his eye.
Out of the corner of his vision, Y/n stepped through the front door, her figure silhouetted against the dim lights of the hallway. She was wearing a sleek black dress that hugged her frame just right, her hair falling in waves over her shoulders. The noise of the party seemed to dull in his ears. He froze, his eyes locked onto her as if the world had slowed down just for a moment.
His friends continued chatting around him, oblivious to his trance.
"Yo, bro... hello?" Sungho waved a hand in front of his face. Jaehyun blinked but didn’t move.
"Earth to Jaehyun! What are you staring at, man?" Sohee nudged him, noticing where his eyes were glued.
His heart pounded in his chest, his mind still trying to process how she—Y/n—was here, in this chaos of beer pong and blaring music. She didn’t belong here, but she looked so effortlessly out of place, it was almost unfair.
"Bro, you good?" Hanbin laughed, realizing why he was distracted. "Dude’s done for, he’s totally smitten."
Jaehyun shook his head, snapping out of it. He chuckled awkwardly, trying to act nonchalant. "Yeah, uh, I’ll catch you guys later." He set his cup down on the counter and started weaving his way through the crowd toward her, his pulse quickening with every step.
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As he neared her, she looked around the room, clearly unfamiliar with the party vibe. Her eyes landed on him, and she smiled, though it didn’t quite reach her eyes. He stopped a few feet away, his voice unsteady.
"What are you doing here?" he asked, more confused than anything. "Who invited you?"
She raised an eyebrow at his tone, folding her arms over her chest. "Jake invited me. I thought it might be fun." Her voice was cool, as if his question wasn’t welcome.
A flare of jealousy twisted in his gut, and he frowned, glancing around the room, wondering why Jake had to ask her. "You should’ve said no to him. This isn't your scene." His voice came out sharper than he intended, his frustration laced in every word.
Y/n scoffed, clearly annoyed. "Excuse me? You don’t get to tell me what I should or shouldn’t do." She took a step closer, her gaze hardening. "I didn’t come here for Jake. I came because I wanted to see you. But if this is how you're gonna act, maybe it was a mistake." Her voice cut through the noise, her disappointment evident.
Before he could even respond, she turned on her heel, moving deeper into the house, disappearing into the crowd of bodies and flashing lights. He stood there, dumbfounded, replaying her words in his head. She came to see him.
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His heart sank. He felt like an idiot. Without wasting another second, he pushed his way through the throng of people, his mind racing. How could he have messed up so badly in just one conversation?
"Hey, have you seen—" he asked one person, cutting himself off as he realized they didn’t know who he was talking about. He scanned the dance floor, the kitchen, even outside by the keg, but she was nowhere in sight. His frustration grew with every passing second.
He was a guy who could read a room, crack a joke, keep the vibe light. But right now? He was frantic. His friends slapped him on the back as he passed, asking him what was up, but he brushed them off. He couldn’t let her leave thinking that was all he had to say—that she wasn’t welcome here, when in reality, she was the only person he wanted to be around.
Finally, after what felt like hours but was really just a few intense minutes, he spotted her standing near the back patio, her arms crossed as she talked with a couple of people. She looked frustrated, her foot tapping lightly against the ground.
Jaehyun took a deep breath, steeling himself, and made his way over to her, determined to make things right.
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Jaehyun took a deep breath, steeling himself, and made his way over to her, determined to make things right. 
As he approached, the people around her seemed to sense the tension, exchanging glances before slowly stepping back, leaving the two of them alone in the middle of the patio. The noise around them faded into the background.
Jaehyun opened his mouth, but nothing came out at first. Then the words just spilled out.
"I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to freak out earlier. I was just... I don’t know, I saw you in that dress and... and then when you said you came to see me and not because of Jake, I just—" He paused, his hands gesturing wildly as he tried to find the right words. "I got jealous. It was dumb. I shouldn’t have said you shouldn’t be here, because I want you here. Like, I always want you here, not just at parties, but anywhere, and I—" He was rambling now, his thoughts tripping over each other in his rush to explain.
"—I just, I like you. A lot. And I don’t know how to deal with that sometimes. You’re... you’re like this amazing person, and I’m just the guy who’s pretending to study just so I can see you, and that probably sounds stupid, but—" He was talking faster, his words stumbling over each other. His heart was pounding in his chest, and he wasn’t even sure if he was making sense anymore.
Suddenly, Y/n stepped closer, cutting him off mid-sentence. Without saying a word, she stood on her tiptoes, leaning in.
Before he could process what was happening, her lips met his.
Time seemed to stop. His heart did a somersault, and his thoughts went blank. Her kiss was soft, brief, but it left him utterly frozen, like his brain couldn’t catch up with what just happened.
When she pulled back, Jaehyun stood there, completely stunned, his eyes wide and mouth slightly open as he tried to make sense of reality. For a moment, it was as though his whole world had paused.
Y/n looked at him and burst into laughter—an easy, melodic sound that broke through the tension. "You should see your face right now," she teased.
Her laughter snapped him out of his trance. His shocked expression melted into a grin, his heart racing for an entirely different reason now.
"Wait, you—" he started, his voice trailing off in disbelief.
She smiled, stepping closer again, her gaze soft but teasing. "Yeah, I like you too. Even if you pretend to read at the library every day." She gave him a playful nudge.
A flood of relief and pure happiness washed over him, and without thinking, he closed the gap between them, gently cupping her face and bringing his lips to hers once more. This time, the kiss was slower, more deliberate, like he wanted to savor every second of it. He could feel the smile on her lips, and it made him grin into the kiss.
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MASTERLIST
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