#whacko wares

[ask-whacko-wares]

We here at Whacko’ Wares wish you a HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! We’d also like to thank those of you who stuck around despite the IMMENSE lack of posts! We plan to post more in 2024, but no promises ;)

[ out of character for a sec, I seriously thank those who still stuck around and I do intend to post more this year. It’s hard because I have an Instagram to run and life does it’s thing sometimes, but I’ll try to be more active on here. I'm excited to see where things go and I hope you’ll still be here to join me 💙 ]

[fred-n-franks-blog]

Hello Fred and Frank!!1 This is less of a question and more of an offer, but would you like this free mug?

courtesy of Whacko' Wares ™ #notanad...

Just DONT BREAK IT.

[coldpsychiccreatorpainter]

If only she knew how that bird could fly (draft)

Alice wanted something new and her mother knew it. She always had known it. It was part of her intuition as a mother.

"I know, honey." Elora wiped the sweat from her own forehead. A cigarette hung morosely from her bottom lip. "I will give you better. So much more than you can comprehend. I promise it'll be good, something new."

It wasn't until Elora was struggling for another breath from her cancer-ridden lungs, that Alice had fully understood what she had meant. Elora had passed away, not as peacefully as most would pray for. She writhed and coughed and cried and hurt until the lifeless eyes became most certainly dead.

It was strange not having a mother around anymore. Alice didn't have anyone to care for, nothing to do. It was quiet. Unchanging. But she didn't hurt. Not like she had when her mother was still alive.

Elora had a way about her that managed to suck up all the life around her. It was draining, but Alice couldn't do anything about it. Even if she really was a terrible person. Her mother is sick—was sick. And you can't cut off a dying person—a dead person. And now she was free. That was good, right?

The morning that Elora has finally been put to rest, Alice spent the hours of the early morning baking cupcakes for her extended family that ware attending the wake in the evening. It was ironic that the wake was being held after the funeral. Her mother's request. Some whacko version of a reception.

It was even more ironic that something called a 'wake' was happening after the sun had set. Especially because the dead are eternally asleep.

Or maybe not.

Maybe when you die, you finally wake up to the real sky. This thought hadn't occurred to Alice until she had finished icing her fifth and final batch of sweets.

[ask-whacko-wares]

OHOHOHO RICH IS A CHEESE-LOVING FELLOW HMM??

GET CHEESE-TRAPPED!!!

🪤🪤🪤🪤🪤🪤🪤🪤🪤🪤🪤🪤🪤🪤🪤🪤🪤🪤🪤🪤🪤🪤🪤🪤🪤🪤🪤🪤🪤🪤🪤🪤🪤🪤🪤🪤🪤🪤🪤🪤🪤🪤🪤🪤🪤🪤🪤🪤🪤🪤🪤🪤🪤🪤🪤🪤🪤🪤🪤🪤🪤🪤🪤🪤🪤🪤🪤🪤🪤🪤🪤🪤

OH NO! RICH HAS BEEN CHEESE TRAPPED!!! We knew this day would come, but we were too late to stop it! How will he get out of this one?

At least while he's in there he'll still have the cheese.

[ask-whacko-wares]

Oh look! There's our star employees, uh, wrapped in some ... Christmas lights? How ... how did they even get like that?

[ask-whacko-wares]

Ooo :0

Is this an physical store or an online store type-of-thing?

Whacko' now delivers to the BaCkRoOmS!!

Whacko' now delivers to the BaCkRoOmS

Get your Whacko' order in any universe today :))

We did not tell Rich to say any of this #notanad

[ask-whacko-wares]

A large cat in a pointy hat stomps in. It has a little note.

The note reads "Do you sell swords :)"

[ask-whacko-wares]

Here are our other 2 employees!! Carl and Bridgett.

Don't tell the other employees, but ... Carl is the company's favorite.

[ask-whacko-wares]

Welcome to the company new employees and customers!!!

Ask our FLOURISHING staff of ONLY 4 PEOPLE whatever you have in that pink, fleshy brain of yours!!!

Our ask box is WIDE OPEN and ready to receive your letters. Dont be shy, we don't bite :)

PROPER INTRO'S COMMING SOON!!!

maybe...

[ask-whacko-wares]

UH OH! WE FORGOT TO POST :0. Uhhhhh, how do we distract from the point, uhmmmmm?

OH! HERE! Look at this! CHEESE LOVING MAN!

[ask-whacko-wares]

What dose the company do?

Definitely not dangerous at all :)

[ask-whacko-wares]

Is there a boss of the company?

Who knows who he is? He could be ANYBODY!

[ask-whacko-wares]

What are the names of the employees?