#whaaaatever. sorry

[toastytrusty]

saw someone on twitter yesterday say that the "you could have just joined up" line was meant to show us that hickey lies and murders because he wants to and finds it fun and i am still SO pissed off about it. literally no. not in the slightest what that means. that line showed us many things, yes. like the inherent irrationality of his disordered, mentally ill thinking. like his abandonment and discarding of his former self and former experiences in favor of a career navy man, which is very tied to the show's themes of imperialism and how lower class/downtrodden people appeal to the system that oppresses them thinking it will give them some power over somebody else. it did Not tell us hickey Enjoys the vague concept of Being Evil. it is genuinely so irritating and LAME when he is flattened down to the insane apathetic machiavellian egotist archetype and it does such disservice to the nuanced intricacies of his character. i do think that the one singular thing in terror that feels poorly constructed Is the reveal that hickey killed someone prior to the show, because a Large Part of his arc Within the show is about how scared and unfamiliar he is, and him very Gradually coming to terms with killing people, believing himself a saviour for doing so. But like that was done to protect the sanctity of the Real Life Guy and to not slander the Real Life Guy so who even cares. it shouldn't be weighed against the rest of his character. you Cannot watch the carnivale fire scene and truly believes he just finds such glee in killing people for the sake of it. that line is imo most directly related to the themes of imperialism in the show, but also tells us so much about the Actual Depth of his character. his fear. his conflict. he wants to be recognized by these people, and yet he has been lying to them about who he is. he finally reveals the truth because he can't live with it anymore and he is immediately shut down and called irrational. because he is irrational. he doesn't know how to get what he wants because he is in such conflict with himself. not that he. just loves being evil so much. whatever

[nguyenfinity]

Presenting EnSeason, a monthly release magazine featuring ES idols! This inaugural January issue is Trickstar following the announcement of their TRIP album :]

Image without text below the cut:

rendering got my ass on this one

[nitroglycerin666]

sorry for being inactive i’ve been going thru a really bad depressive episode bc the girl i like still ignoring me and it sent me into a binge/purge cycle for a few days but whaaaatever i’m over it i’m just gonna focus on myself and my goals 🤷‍♀️

also i’m gonna make an april calorie tracker calendar thing and post it later

i love all my mutuals i hope u guys are all doing ok 💞

[kpopboysreact]

Wonpil - Stars (Fluff)

Commissioned by @holdmyheart01 I can't thank you enough ❤��❤️

They say that soulmates exist. That the stars in one person’s eyes form constellations with those in the eyes of the one they’re destined for.

He saw her from across the empty coffee shop and felt his heart begin to quicken its beat. A heartbeat, amplified by the silence of the café’s echo off the four small walls. Silence, broken by the faint clinking noise of a dainty metal teaspoon circling a porcelain mug. The mug, steaming hot, lifted slowly to her lips. Her lips, formed into a perfect “o” to blow on her latté, which he had styled into a heart. A heart, how could such emotion be confined into such a small space? Wonpil’s thoughts betrayed him as he leaned a little too far down on the counter and stumbled, catching the nearby napkin holder before it hit the ground. I don’t think she noticed… He thought to himself, feeling relieved as she hadn’t looked up from her drink.

-

You held in a giggle, having noticed the cute barista trip out of the corner of your eye. You hadn’t seen him before around here, the café you frequent, but there was something about the air around him that drew you to him. You looked up at the counter and the two of you made eye contact. The barista nodded towards you quickly and blushed, then turned his head away and disappeared into the back room.

-

Wonpil quickly looked out the far window to make sure no patrons were coming up to the café doors, then he took out his phone. He opened a group chat titled “Day6”, and sent a quick message. “It’s her.” “Again?” Sungjin responded right away. “Yeah. She…she saw me this time. Looked in my eyes…” “And??” Jae joined the conversation.

Wonpil smiled at his phone, then tucked it back in his pocket. He took a breath, and exited the room. He casually walked back to the counter, straightening the napkin holder he’d knocked over earlier, then dared another look at you. Wonpil’s phone buzzed in his pocket, undetectable compared to the pounding in his chest. He took a deep breath, then walked up to you.

For some reason, the closer he got, the less anxious he felt. And when he stood across from where you were seated, the smile on his face was entirely genuine.

“Hello.” He greeted you, comfortingly rubbing his right hand with his left.

“Hi!” You smiled back. “Are you a new employee? I haven’t seen you around here before.”

“Ah, kind of. I started a little while ago actually, but I…” I was too shy to make any of your drinks, or to even look in your direction, really... “I work in the back a lot, taking inventory and stock of everything.” You took a sip of your drink and waited for him to continue. “Today, it’s just me, though. So I’m working the front of the house.”

“Well, you’re really good at making coffee!”

“Thanks!” Wonpil looked down and fiddled with his feet awkwardly. “Do you want to sit for a little while?” You asked him. “At least until another customer comes? It doesn’t really look so comfortable standing behind that counter.”

“Oh, um-“

“Plus, I bet it’s kinda slippery back there.” You finally let out the giggle you were holding in. She DID notice…Ugh, sh- “Thank you.” He smiled again and pulled out the chair across from you. His gaze met yours, and slowly you saw both corners of his lips curl into a larger smile.

“D-did I do something?” “You…” Wonpil let out a breath of air, a tiny chuckle. “You have stars.” “I’m sorry?”

“In your eyes.” Wonpil’s gaze held nothing but affection entirely directed towards you. “There are stars.”

You blushed. “Thank you…” A customer entered the café, and you quickly brought it to Wonpil’s attention.

“Oh, thanks.” He half-smiled. “Can you, uh…” Wonpil quickly took an old receipt off the counter along with a pen, and scribbled something on it. “Can you call me sometime? I mean, only if you want to! I work all day today, but I have tomorrow off…” Wonpil bowed to you and before you could respond, he quickly ran off to serve the other customer. You looked down at your coffee and continued to spin it in circles with your teaspoon, watching your reflection ripple as you stirred. You clutched the receipt in your hand and smiled.

-

That night, Wonpil’s nerves kept him awake. Bathed in moon’s kiss, singing with the stars, Wonpil dedicated his moonlit sonata to you. The buzz of his phone broke him out of his trance, and he turned to check it immediately.

You

“Hey!” You texted him. “This is y/n, from the café.” Y/N…Wonpil thought to himself. I…didn’t even know your name…

He marveled at the text for a few seconds, picturing your beautiful eyes focusing on the numbers he wrote, your lovely hands typing your message to him into your phone, your star-laced eyes checking your phone to see if he had responded…then his eyes checked the time.

“What are you doing awake at 3 am??” He replied, full of worry.

“Tomorrow’s the weekend! I have nothing to do…nothing wrong with savoring the night.” He smiled at your sincerity. “So, you know my name. What’s yours?” Wonpil smiled.

“Wonpil.” He grinned and imagined you saying his name as you read the text.

“Well…it’s nice to technically meet you.” You sent him another text. “So maybe it’s the sleep deprivation or maybe it’s the fact that you seem really sweet…but do you want to maybe see each other some time soon?”

“Wonpil?” Wonpil whipped his head around, to find Brian staring at him wearing nothing but boxers.

“Ah, Younghyun…”

“Is it her?”

Wonpil blushed. “W-who?” “That girl from the café. You know, the one.”

“I-I…” Wonpil stuttered. “Maybe…” Brian walked up to Wonpil and snatched the phone from his hands. “Hey!”

“Relax, I’m doing you a favor…” Brian quickly read your conversation before typing a reply and sending it, avoiding Wonpil’s flailing attempts to retrieve his phone as he did so.

“Yah! What did you do??” Wonpil read Brian’s text to you aloud. “Must be the sleep deprivation…because I was actually wondering if I could see you right now.” Wonpil’s eyes burst out of his head. “What?!” Then his phone buzzed with your reply.

“Ah, I’d be down for that! As long as the time doesn't bother you. What were you thinking of doing?” Brian laughed at Wonpil as he stared at his phone, jaw wide open. “You’re lucky I responded for you! As smart as you are, hyung, I think you missed the class on talking to girls…”

“She’s not just some girl, Younghyun…”

“Oh come on, you’ve known her for what, a day?”

Wonpil smiled sincerely at Brian. “She has the stars.”

Brian rolled his eyes. “Whaaaatever, bro.”

Wonpil nodded. “Now, if you’ll excuse me…” He smiled and got back to responding to your text.

“Oh, I see how it is.” Brian sighed and stated mockingly, “Chicks before di-”

“GoodNIGHT Younghyun ah!”

Brian rolled his eyes and returned to his bedroom.

-

Wonpil waited outside your apartment patiently, checking his reflection in the mirror a good hundred times. It was now 3:30 am, and he honestly felt guilty for keeping you up so late.

A knock on the window snapped him out of it. Wonpil smiled at you and unlocked the door. “I wish I looked that good at 3:30 in the morning.”

-

You giggled, playing it off naturally, not mentioning how you were fussing over every detail of your appearance for the past half hour. “So, what did you have planned?” You asked, looking at Wonpil in anticipation.

He laughed. “You texted me first!”

“But you’re the one who wanted to go out tonight!”

“Well…what are you into?” You felt the same intensity coming from Wonpil that you felt earlier in the café. You had his full attention, and little did you know, in that moment, nothing else in the world mattered.

“Well…maybe we could get some bubble tea or something? Just a little sugar to kick the night off, keep us from falling asleep.”

“Sounds good. What’s your favorite flavor?”

“Hmmm…I guess chocolate!” “Oh, really? That’s mine too!”

“We should get two really big ones, because we want them to last.” “And...because I’m paying?”

“Well, since you offered…”

Wonpil laughed. “Get the biggest one they have. And a cookie or something, too! It’s not every night you get to have a 3 am date.”

“Well…maybe it’ll be a more regular thing.”

You could’ve sworn you heard Wonpil’s breath catch in his throat, and you’d convinced yourself it was just the wind whipping against the car, until his voice was hoarse when he spoke again.

“Maybe…”

-

It was 8 am.

You and Wonpil, drunk on sleep deprivation and high off the thrill of connecting with each other, spent the hours conversing on a bench at a park close to the all-hours bubble tea shop. You’d ended up each getting a bubble tea, then the two of you went back every hour or so to replenish your supply of cookies. Now, you sat next to each other on the bench, your heavy, tired head falling to Wonpil’s shoulder as he sang a slow song. Your eyes drifted shut to the soft tune, and you kept them closed when the melody came to an end. “Are you asleep?” Wonpil asked you.

You mumbled. “No…”

Wonpil brushed his nose against the top of your head, then lazily kissed your forehead. You shot up, eyes wide. Realizing what he had done, Wonpil looked at you, m.o.r.t.i.f.i.e.d.

“I-I am SO SORRY! I just-You looked so cute and I-and it felt natural and-and then I-“ Wonpil stopped stammering when you started laughing.

“It’s okay! That was…really sweet.” Wonpil’s cheeks were tinted pink, more vibrant than the rising sun behind him. “Plus…” Now, it was your turn to blush. “I liked it…” You rested your head on Wonpil’s shoulder again, then looked up at him. “Can you answer something for me?”

Wonpil was too embarrassed to make eye contact with you. “Of course.”

“Earlier, at the café, you said…” You sat up and got yourself more comfortable in the bench. “You said something about stars in my eyes.”

“Oh…”

“That was really beautiful.”

Finally, Wonpil looked in your eyes again. “I meant it. I…” I know you…Wonpil wanted to say. I know just from the stars in your eyes that you’re the person I want to give the world to… “I think your eyes are beautiful.” “Really? I always thought they were kinda plain.” “No way…” There was a loaded silence between the two of you. Birds chirped their good morning songs, cars began their morning commute, yet with everything around you, it seemed as though there was nothing but you two in the world. “Y/N…?” “Hmmm?”

Wonpil turned his body to face yours. “I want to…can I kiss you?”

You laughed and nodded, closing your eyes as you felt Wonpil’s nose brush against yours. Slowly, your lips met. The birds’ songs drowned out, the cars’ horns muted, and the world itself seemed to just pause for a minute. As if there were an unknown energy at play, you seemed locked in that moment, only released when Wonpil pulled away.

You took in a breath, a sudden shock away from the moment. “Wonpil, I…” His lips met yours again, this time, more passionate. One of his hands made its way into your hair, twirling it between his fingers while the other found your cheek, his thumb tracing circles on your skin. He pulled back for air, then pushed himself against you again.

The next time he pulled away, he kissed both of your eyelids before pecking you once more on your lips.

“I don’t want you to kiss anyone else like that.”

“Well, that works out because I’ve never been kissed like that by anyone.”

Wonpil chuckled. “You know what I mean…I want to be with you.”

You giggled, keeping Wonpil in nervous anticipation. “Hmmm…” You smiled at his nervousness. “I…” Wonpil sat up at the edge of the bench. “I…don’t even know your last name.”

Wonpil stuttered, “K-Kim! It’s Kim. Kim Wonpil.” You laughed again and planted a tiny kiss on Wonpil’s nose. “Okay, Kim Wonpil. I want to be with you, too.”

-

Months Later

Sunlight filtered in through your dusty blinds, welcoming you into the aurora of the day. Obscuring your vision was your boyfriend, Wonpil, though he felt like more than that as this point. It seemed weird to awake in your apartment on a Saturday morning, as it had become your couple’s tradition to spend each Friday night awake and sipping bubble tea in the park, sharing earbuds as you binged whatever show peaked your interest. But as time went by, you were beginning to wonder if that was too mundane, too routine for Wonpil. It’s not like he seemed to be getting bored of your weekends together, but you still had that creeping suspicion at the bottom of your gut that you had to do more to satisfy his needs in your relationship. While you remained lost in your thoughts, Wonpil stirred awake, a smile coming to his face the moment he saw yours in front of him.

“Jagiya…” He groaned, burying his face in the crook of your neck. His messy hair brushed against your cheek, and the warmth of his breath sent a shiver down your spine. He snaked an arm over your waist and pulled you closer to him. “How did you sleep?” He mumbled against your skin, voice heavy with groggy awakening.

“Well.” You kissed the top of his head, and he returned with a kiss against your collar bone. “How about you?” “I’m not used to sleeping much on the weekends.” He chuckled and looked up at you, pulling you into a sweet morning kiss.

“Mmm…you should brush your teeth.” You joked.

“Huh, too bad, you’re stuck with me like this.” In a swift movement, Wonpil moved on top of you and pinned your hands down, then hovered his face right above yours.

“I could think of worse things…” You laughed.

Wonpil smiled. “Meeee too.” He kissed the top of your head, then lied down next to you, pulling you closer to him again. “But if my morning breath really does bother you so much, maybe we should crash at my place next time so I can brush up.”

“Actually…” You bit your lip and Wonpil looked at you curiously. “I, um…” Before Wonpil could react, you hopped out of bed and dashed to the bathroom. When you returned, you were holding a brand-new toothbrush in-hand, still protected by plastic.

“What’s this?” He asked, sitting up on his elbows.

“I just figured, if you’re going to be around here more often…maybe you should have a toothbrush here…” Wonpil looked at you in silence, which you took as a sign to continue. “I, uh…I’ve also been working on clearing out the top drawer…” You pointed to your dresser. “So you can keep some clothes or stuff here…Only if you want to!!!!”

Wonpil smiled and shook his head. “How on earth…” He held out a hand, gesturing for you to climb back in bed with him. “How on earth did I get so lucky?”

You joined Wonpil, instantly warmed by his loving embrace. “Is this okay? You’re not getting bored of anything, are you?”

“Bored?” Wonpil asked.

“Well, I just mean…we always go to the same park and sit on the same bench…drink the same drinks and watch the same shows…”

“Bored?” He repeated, then kissed you. “Love, that’s the only part of my week that keeps me going.”

“Is it?” “Being with you…in any way, whether we’re at the park or if you’re in my arms like this…” Wonpil was silent for a moment. “Nothing could be more perfect than this.”

“Well…If you promi-“

“I promise.” Wonpil held you tighter. “I promise I will never get bored of you, of this, of us…” He paused. “How could I? After all…” Wonpil kissed you again, a sign of his promise to you and commitment to your life together, a life that was just beginning. “You’re all I need. You’re my now and forever…and you have the most beautiful stars in your eyes.”

[luxraylauren]

a (bad) Queen Battlewinner for anon.

[thebeautyis]

HELLO

ok so to be very honest with you I actually don’t have a whole lot to write about??? I can give you like bullet points and if you want pictures, my twitter is here. I do have videos. I'll be uploading that tomorrow if things haven’t already been uploaded. 

THIS GOT LONG AGAIN IM SORRY

- Caitriona looked FUCKING HOT. I was unsure of the outfit when I saw it on twitter but GODFUCKINGDAMN.  -I honestly cannot believe how un-organized this event was and then how little actually happened. Like there was absolutely no barrier between the press and the fans. just like...a couple big beefy dudes on the red carpet and some poles separating everyone from the carpet. so we managed to sneak in dead center right behind a bunch of press people and one of the camera guys literally took Lauren’s phone to take pictures for her. I had a clear shot of Cait mostly and then Sam and I’ll post those either here or on twitter tomorrow probably.  -Sam and Cait came together around 6:30 I wanna say? They stood for MAYBE  a minute to take pictures together and then worked their way down the line separately but always like one behind the other.  -Caitriona looked so goddamn hot I will never get over it ok -I was like 2-3 feet from her for a solid 30 minutes and could not stop staring. and yes those tweets of mine that Jess posted about the sex scenes and Sam being Cait’s fave coworker were legit direct quotes from her.  -they were coordinating, in case you couldn’t tell. -the girl who runs the OL twitter was standing right next to us. hi shipper! also I’ll be shocked if I’m not in one of the like selfie videos Sam and Cait took of the fans. peekaboo! -as the red carpet was winding down, I made my way to the end of the press line (and met some other shippers!! hi!!)  to see if I could MAYBE get a selfie w Cait because that was literally my entire goal for the night (spoiler alert: I failed) but they dragged her and Sam into some other room for the screening.  -THE EPISODE WAS REALLY GOOD. I don’t want to say more bc honestly I’m not good at ep recaps but I really really liked it. Sam was honestly amazing and I don’t say that lightly. and Cait. guhghglghrega. It kind of got me back on board for this season. fucking hell.  -ok the q&a. I have videos, I have pictures. It was kind of weird, ngl. Thank god nobody asked any personal questions. actually a lot of the questions were really good. including one about who they picture as Jamie and Claire when they read the books and the entire video is just me and Lauren in the background holding each other and laughing hysterically because THEY WERE SO AWKWARD and flirty???? but like...it was hysterical. I don’t know if I’ll be posting that tbh -SPEAKING OF AWKWARD. Sam. Heughan. I don’t know if he was tired, nervous or drunk off his butt or some combination of the 3. I have never seen him so mellow and so tongue tied and just....awkward???? Like he genuinely could NOT answer questions and when he did I feel like he was fumbling through them and kept looking at Cait to help him. the poor guy was a mess. also when he doesn’t know what else to say, he bites his finger and stares at Cait. I’m not shitting you he spent like multiple minutes like this:

like what the actual fuck are you doing/thinking about, sir. 

-I didn’t notice this until I was looking at my pictures but the entire first 10 minutes they sat EXA CTLY the same way. Legs crossed the same way, arms resting on the chair the same way. 

-Cait was flirting with him a LOT. like hair playing, arm touching, she called him both darling and babe.  -Sam really wants to be in that Pinter play called The Lovers with her. LIKE REALLY. WANTS. TO. DO IT. SOMEONE. HELP. HIM. OUT. -anyway they took a group selfie at the end you 100% can’t see me bc everyone stood up and they stupidly stood like in the front row????  -on our way out though we left the building and ran into Cait signing autographs. she was SO patient I could not believe it. and of course took a picture with literally everyone around us except us. but whaaaatever. and then Sam came out and apparently it got nuts??? but we peaced the hell out of there bc noooo fucking way. and then went to a bar and straight up cried about some of the pictures that have come out.  -if Sam isn’t fucking Caitriona then he’s gay. there’s no other options. and I’m like 99% sure he’s fucking Caitriona. BECAUSE IF HE ISNT I WILL. (and also idc who the fuck you are if my boyfriend or fuck buddy or whoever looked at another woman the way Sam looked at Caitriona tonight I’d dump his ass so fast. no even slightly self respecting woman would take that kind of shit dont @ me)

ok the end. tonight was great. I was honestly terrified and stressed the fuck out about all of it beforehand but it was a lot of fun and alcohol is gr8. anyway I’m sure I missed some things so maybe I’ll make another post??? probably not. let me know if you have any questions xoxoxox

(ps I’m sure I’m gonna see these pics all over twitter but....can you at least attempt to credit me???? maybe???? is it even worth asking??? idk please ily guys.)

[ibblescribbles-archive]

Heeeeeey! Well, sorry if I write something wrong XO, I'm insecure about my english, but whaaaatever. I would like to make you a aesthetic!! ;v; if you let me

dont worry!! your english is great! aaa thats so sweet of you to offer! by aesthetic do you mean something similar to a mood board? ive seen those around and they’re so cute!! my oc tag is #ibbleoc if you’d like to look in there for art of my characters! one of my favorite colors is pink and it shows predominantly in a lot of my art so!! thank you again and hugs from the US

[stronger-than-yesterdayy]

Hey, it's a real good stunt you pulled the other day, sending me a picture of you guys all out having fun with the text "we miss you". How about y'all just stay the fuck out of my life like you have been for the past year ever since Kyle and I broke up? I have literally blocked all of you on everything, do you not know how to take a hint? I do miss you guys, a lot. But you all are shitty as fuck. Miss me? Yeah? WHERE THE FUCK HAVE YOU BEEN, THEN? instead of sending a picture saying you miss me, why didn't you just invite me, then? Instead of just lying to me for whatever reason you felt was necessary to do so. I mean, it's a great gesture, really, I'm suuuper flattered that y'all thought of me one day out of the year! I know I'll never have answers. I know I'll never know why it was so easy for all of you to just leave me behind like I was never anything important to begin with. I guess I shouldn't be hurt by it, you guys were only my friends cuz of Kyle. I should only be hurt by one of you. But for some reason I just let every single one of you get way too close to my heart, and I legit considered all of you my best friends, when none of you were my friend to begin with. Friends don't leave friends behind. If you guys actually missed me, you would prove it. You wouldn't have ditched me to begin with. I wish I didn't care at all. Lately I've been thinking about this shit a lot and it's really been putting a damper on my mood, and then you send me that bullshit picture text and pissed me off even more. I SHOULD NOT CARE. I'll stop caring eventually. Some day it won't even hurt anymore. I mean I've dealt with it on my own for over a year now, right? It can only get easier from here. Fuck all of you, I cared so much about you guys and all I got in return was being stabbed in the fucking back. Especially by someone who was suppose to be my BEST FRIEND since fucking kindergarten??? It goes to show that time really does not mean shit, at all. And I'm sure you're thinking "it's a two way street krisy, you don't make an effort anymore either." That's because when I DID make the effort, I got rejected. Or ditched. Or some lame excuses every time. Or simply the fact that Kyle didn't want you guys around me lmfao. Whaaaatever. I tried. I really did, for awhile, too! So I dont even feel bad anymore for how it is. I put so much effort into keeping us together, and the second I stopped being the only one trying, y'all were nowhere to be found. So don't text me with this "we miss you" bullshit when you guys don't miss me at all. All you've done is make me wonder what I did so bad that made me deserve all of this pain from you all. I truly am sorry for whatever I did to you guys that made me not deserve your friendship the way I thought I did...

[chrisdarebashfulsmiles]

Sorry have to share the wonderful tags... I'm not them but I think should find and compliment who left a review about the bar.

Beard that's you? ;) I don't know what I find more sad: the possibility it's beard wasting time harassing us or the fact that a fan could be this level of brainwashed.

Whaaaatever :) cc if you don't want to be harassed just block the blog.

Aww, look. A Miarren found a post of ours and just HAD to reblog it and call us all kinds of names and use nasty hashtags. Sounds about right for that fandom. CAN’T STAY IN THEIR OWN FUCKING LANE. Oh, and they’re just as charming as their “queen.”