#whaaaat were you basing this on??? i have never tried to be the center of attention at ANYTHING ive EVER done

[k1ngj0ve]

(bitching about the same thing again, dont mind me)

im still so mad about my old roommate being such a spoilsport about dnd. him and my (at the time) boyfriend were the only people i had to interact with (except my ex, also a roommate, who i was literally worried would murder me if i was around him) for the first few months of the pandemic, it was just those two 24/7, we even shared a bed

and they were in a dnd campaign together online every week and i didnt know anything about dnd really, made clear i didnt want to play with them because of anxiety reasons, but at a few points they would be talking about the game they were in

and just... i could NOT interact with them when they talked about DnD without my roommate being like 'no, you cant do that, everyone would hate you if you did that'

i was looking through one of the books, mostly just at the art, commenting on how pretty the stuff was. 'oh it says a player race is these raven things? thats so cool, and they cant talk? thats really neat! i didnt know it had stuff like this'

him: you cant be that. they cant talk so you have to make noises or hand gestures, all the other players would hate it

me: i mean im not gonna play personally, im just saying it sounds fun, but it says here its a player race so i COULD be that if i wanted, maybe with a group that thought it was fun

him: no, its so annoying, no group would like that

a while later

me: oh neat it says drow can become big spider centaurs! thats so cool, can a player drow do that?

him: no, you arent allowed to do that

me: (reads a little more)...it says you can around like... level 60

him: youll never get to level 60, it takes years to get to level 10, and it would break the game if you tried to do it, there is a 50% chance furign the ritual you just become a dead zombie

me: i mean if i got to level 60 i think i could kill my character off this way if i wanted to. if you die dont you just reroll a new character

him: that would be so annoying

same day

me: aww this flying mantaray thing is cool, i want it as a pet

him: you cant have it as a pet, its evil alligned

me: i meant i want it in real life, im not going to play this game i keep telling you, but for the record it says you can have it as a pet at level 15

him: its evil, only an evil character can have it as a pet

me: thats not very fun. isnt alignment a thing? can you not play as an evil character?

him: i mean you can technically but everyone would hate that its so annoying

same fucking day again

me: oh hey they have khajiit as player characters, thats so funny

him: pff the furries ALWAYS pick them, its just like 'look at me i want attention im a special horny little cat person'

me: it seems like you sort of cant be anything. whats the point of having all these races if youre only allowed to be a human without pissing everyone off?

him: there is lots of things you can be, you can do whatever you want, some of them are just red flags for annoying players and if you picked them everyone at the table would be instantly annoyed by you

me: (irritated) it says you can be a big hyena person. can i do that?

him: no

me: it says you cAN

him: it breaks the game, because any time you go into a town they will think youre a crazy marauding monster!

me: its not a computer game though! Its not pre-written! cant the DM just say people DONT freak out? if he knows before we play that im gonna be a big hyena-orc cant he preemptively decide people arent immediately afraid of me?

him: if you want him to completely bend the world around you and ruin his and everyone elses fun, then yeah he can do that, but its selfish

me: i just like hyenas! they are my favourite animal! arent you like a half-god fire genie or something in your game? dont people think thats weird when you walk into town??

him: i mean thats because im careful about how i treat it and make sure i dont get on anyone elses nerves

i just

god it was SO ANNOYING?

he sure got on MY nerves and i wasnt even playing with him!

why was he so sure id be the most insufferable person in the world??

i wasnt even like.. planning to join a game or making up a character sheet, he was just demanding i not be interested in it or get any fun ideas, basically. Id sort of understand if he was trying to give advice while i picked a race for a game he was in, but i was just enjoying the book!

ive never played SPECIFICALLY because the only people i knew that played were all from a really... intense... and not really MY friends, just my exes, you know? i never wanted to play with these people, but he was just snapping like 'no you would be annoying' when i was just ENJOYING THE WORLD BUILDING

its not like this experience kept me away from dungeons and dragons-- this was like the first couple months, before lockdown, right before the mask mandates, i obviously couldnt have played if i wanted to during this time, but like

man he was so unfun??? not even letting me enjoy reading tHE BOOK

nvm the whole thing he did when i tried to talk to the two of them about the monster thing in their campaign and how intense and nasty he got. i admit im not socially adept but he really seemed to expect the worst from me??

[ororowrites]

Erik Stevens and OC-  Could’ve Been - just friends (chap. 2)

Characters: Erik Stevens and Essence Jones

Warnings: drugs and language

Word Count:  3,671

Based on the song: Just Friends by Musiq

Prelude - Chapter 1

It had been seven years since Erik and Essence witnessed the murder of N’Darius Stevens. That single moment changed their lives forever. Erik was sent through the system, bouncing from foster home to foster home until he landed with an aunt he barely knew. For two years, Essence didn’t even hear from him, causing them to grow a part. They used to talk everyday, even when they had arguments. Now it seemed like they were strangers getting to know each other all over again.

By the time Essence and Erik reached 9th grade, Erik moved in with his aunt and began attending high school with Essence. Occasionally they would talk, or hang out to do homework but Erik was best friends with another group of people. Some days he missed school without explanation and would come back decked out in the latest Jordan gear. He hung out with people like Big Chucky, the neighborhood dope dealer. Anyone else wouldn’t be shocked by Erik’s behavior or the people he hung around on a daily basis, but Essence. Her childhood best friend was rough around the edges, but he never seemed like the type to be a gang banger.

Watching after her troubled friend wasn’t Essence’s only dilemma. Tyra Lennox, her mother, had returned home from her latest stint in prison. Grandma Hazel watched after Essence as long as she could, until she passed away from lung cancer two years after Tyra was released. That sent Essence back to live with her mother, a woman that barely deserved that title. Tyra had four children, Essence being the only child living with her. The other three children lived with their father.

“Essence, get your little ass down here. Now,” Tyra yelled up the stairs. Essence was in the middle of studying for an exam. The teenager rolled her eyes and followed the order. “Girl thinks she can do whatever the fuck she wants,” Tyra was mumbling under her breath when Essence appeared in front of her. “What the fuck is this?”

Confused, Essence didn’t answer right away.

“Little girl, what is this,” Tyra questioned again, holding up a wad of cash she had found. “You hiding money from me for a reason?”

Truth be told, Essence was saving money to move out and away from Chicago. Her mother was toxic and negligent. Nothing good was ever going to come from her living with the woman and Essence was counting her days.

“No,” Essence lied, eyeing the cash as Tyra counted it. Three hundred dollars. “I can barely pay bills around here and you hiding all this money? I should slap you, get outta my face.”

So much for saving to move away from the hellhole she called home. To keep Tyra from lifting a hand, she swiftly turned and ran up the steps. When she reached her bedroom, Essence threw herself on the bed and screamed into a pillow.

At school, Essence was usually the standout student when it came to subjects she loved. She enjoyed history and mathematics because it challenged her more than the likes of science and language arts. Science had always been her least favorite unless they were learning about space and the planets.

In her last semester, they were required to take advanced chemistry which was her least favorite class of the day. It was the only class she had with Erik, who could do the work with his eyes closed.

“Whaaaat, you decided to come to class today,” Essence said to Erik as he drug his feet across the floor and to his desk. “Long time, no see.”

Erik grunted under his breath, throwing his bag to the side and taking his seat. He didn’t even look her direction. Maybe he was tired. Big Chucky kept his dealers up all throughout the night doing his dirty work.

As class went on, Erik was on his phone when the teacher wasn't looking. He typed quickly, sending multiple texts to Chucky and the boys that worked under him. Not paying attention herself, Essence kept her eyes on Erik’s screen, hoping to catch a peek into his new life. With no luck, she went back to taking notes until they had to pair up for classwork.

Erik had been quite distant lately and their friendship had never truly recovered from the two years they lost touch. Essence attributed it to them getting older and simply growing apart but she knew if Big Chucky wasn’t in the picture, they’d be close. Since Erik was rarely around, Essence didn’t get the chance to talk to him much and decided to take advantage of the opportunity.

“You going to prom,” she asked, peeking up through her long lashes.

“Yeah probably. You,” Erik replied, working out three formulas in record time. “Who you going with?”

The nerve. Erik had been acting funny all this time only to question her about a date to prom. “With Gregg Patrick,” Essence muttered, staring at the next question on her classwork. What the fuck was this shit? Erik explained the answer and then went on to question her choice to go with Gregg Patrick, captain of the basketball team. “Because I’m grown and can do that. Do I questions your choices in hoes?”

“Dude is wack, that’s all I’m saying,” he explained, a tinge of jealousy present in his statement. “And I don’t have time for hoes. I’m getting this money.”

“What makes him wack, Erik?” Essence propped her chin on her hand, giving Erik her undivided attention. “Exactly, you can’t even give me a reason.”

Truth be told, Erik and Gregg didn’t see eye to eye because Gregg was an enemy on the streets. Essence tried to keep her street knowledge to a minimum because it was easy to get trapped in that life. So many times she was close to jumping in with some of the other kids in her neighborhood that got trapped. Whatever could get her out of the life she lived, she would do to escape to a life she had yearned for.

“Whatever, E. Do you,” Erik shot back. “I’m going with Linda though.”

“Linda? Linda Franklin? What the fuck,” Essence gagged. “Hasn’t that girl been with 10 different dudes in our class?”

“Oh, so you get to go with that punk ass Gregg, but I can’t go with Linda? You are something else, Essence.”

“Your nosey ass was in my business. You act all funny with me but wanna know everything,” Essence argued back with a bit of bite in her voice.

“Act funny? What the hell you talkin’ about,” Erik bit, putting his pen down. Oh, that struck a chord.

“We barely even talk like that anymore because you act funny. Ever since you started hanging with Big Chucky and ‘em,” Essence explained. “Don’t try to act like I’m not telling the truth.”

Erik attempted to act like he was shocked but it quickly turned into him getting defensive, “Man, I been busy. Ain’t nobody acting funny with you, E.”

“Mmmm okay. If lying helps you sleep at night.”

They spent the rest of the class working alone until they heard a commotion outside the door. Students ran to the window, peeking through the blinds and ignoring their teacher’s plea to sit  down.

“The police are out there,” DaMia yelled at her classmates, causing everyone to push to get a better look through the small window. “And they got dogs!”

“Shit, I bet they lookin’ for drugs,” Marcus added, pushing Essence to the side. “Ohhhh, somebody is going to jail.”

Somehow Erik and Essence’s eyes met. She said a silent prayer for him and hoped he wasn’t dumb enough to bring drugs to school. He had to be smarter than that right? Erik didn’t appear to be phased by the commotion in the hall. He simply shrugged his shoulders when she mouthed ‘you carrying?’.

Fifteen minutes later, the police were escorting three students down the hall. Essence recognized them as boys that hung around Big Chucky in the neighborhood.

“Damn, I didn’t know Harry was selling,” one of the students mumbled.

Erik glanced at Essence again before returning to his seat in the back of the class. The one day he didn’t bring anything to school, his boys got busted. He wasn’t worried about getting snitched on because no one in the hood snitched. There was an unspoken rule in the streets about snitching on your brothers.

Even though his friends’ lips were most likely zipped, Erik had somewhat of a reality check. That could have easily been him.

Prom. That time of the year where everyone was trying to outdo their peers and spending way too much money to achieve that task. Essence had saved up enough money to buy a prom dress from one of the local thrift shops. One of her friends did small alterations that were good enough to hide the fact that the dress was too large. She rode the bus to the event center where her date, Gregg, was waiting outside. Neither one of them had a car or money to rent one but Essence was fine with how things were. Just as long as she got to attend her senior prom, she was happy with whatever transportation got her there.

“You look beautiful, Essence,” Gregg was in awe of his date. She looked radiant in the hot pink satin. Against her skin, the color popped, making her stand out in the crowd of high schoolers.

“Thank you. I love this tie. Matches my dresses perfectly,” Essence replied, moving her hand along the silk fabric. “You got our tickets?”

“Oh shit,” Gregg’s eyes widened. “I’m kiddin’, I got them.”

Essence slapped his arm, “Don’t play like that. I would have found a way inside, anyway.”

“I’m sure your bad ass would have,” he shook his head in return and led Essence into the event hall.

Their school district didn’t have a large budget when it came to dances and events, but they made sure their students could enjoy things like the other children on the opposite side of town. The hall was decorated to match the deep blue sea. Blue lights made the room resemble the ocean. Fake fish hung from the ceiling and the photobooth resembled a submarine. For a group of children who could barely afford to get into an aquarium, they were excited about the decorations.

For the most part, the night ran smoothly. The food was decent for food served at a high school prom, the DJ was good and people appeared to be enjoying themselves. Essence was sure she sweated her relaxer out from all the dancing she was doing. When it came time for the slow dance, Gregg found his date and pulled her to the middle of the floor. As she wrapped her arms around Gregg’s neck, she caught the eye of Erik who was dancing with Linda’s hoe ass.

Essence smiled slightly and rested her chin on Gregg’s shoulder when he pulled her close. Erik stared a few more seconds before looking away. Essence could feel the tension without him even saying a word. Their relationship had been weird and she still didn’t understand why. They had experienced a tragedy together and instead of staying close, the once best friends barely hung out when they weren’t in class.

“You good,” Gregg asked a zoned out Essence. The song had changed and she was moving offbeat in her own little world. “Essy?”

“Huh….oh yeah, I’m good,” she answered, still thinking about the past few years of her life. High school was about to be over and she wasn’t sure what was next. She had been accepted into a few schools but leaving Chicago was scary. Even when she didn’t have anyone besides her mother who half the time acted as if she didn’t love her. If she left, would she ever return? What about Erik?

“You sure? You keep stepping on my toes,” Gregg chuckled, pulling back to get a good look at Essence. “Don’t tell me you’re falling asleep standing up.”

“No, just enjoying our time,” she answered, returning to Gregg’s shoulder. They weren’t dating but Gregg was a good friend to her the past couple of years. He was moving to Baltimore with his father after graduation.

After their dance, the two separated for the remainder of the night. Gregg went to hang out with his boys and Essence with her two best friends. When the night was over, Gregg said his goodbye and got on a bus to head home while Essence went with a group of girls to a hotel afterparty. Unlike Gregg, Essence didn’t have a curfew because her mother more than likely wasn’t home anyway.

The party wasn’t too wild but Essence kept to herself. She didn’t want to be involved if the cops got called on a bunch of kids drinking underage and using fake ids to get a room. Erik was at the party without his date but Essence still kept her distance. Instead, they watched each other from their corners until Erik sent her a text.

I need to talk to you. Meet me in the room next door.

They had two connecting rooms for the party and everyone was crowded on one side until someone wanted to get freaky. Essence followed Erik into the next room, watching him lock the door behind them.

“What the hell is your problem,” he asked Essence.

Confusion set in because from her experience, he was the one acting an ass. “Huh? What you mean?”

“You’ve been watching me all night like we got beef. What’s up?” Erik settled on the bed while Essence stood by the door. “We not cool anymore or something?”

Was he being serious? Tonight wasn’t the night to argue with Erik over their friendship when he was the distant one. Essence wasn’t going to beg for his attention either. “Are you for real? You wouldn’t have noticed me watching if you weren’t watching me yourself. I told you already. You’ve been acting hella weird with me for no reason. I know we aren’t as close as we used to be but you completely cut me off to hang out with those knucklehead ass boys. So before you come at me for acting a certain way, check your damn self, Stevens.”

That was the second time he had been called out and honestly, he didn’t know how to respond. Time had its impact on their relationship on top of Erik being consumed in what he thought was bettering his life.

Essence sensed his inner turmoil and joined him on the bed. “What’s going on with you, Erik. For real.”

Since his father’s death, Erik had been angry and lonely. Instead of leaning on those who loved him, he took to the streets and made connections there. “I gotta get out of here. There ain’t nothing left here. Done seen two of my boys get popped, some of them in jail… I have a  feeling I’m next. Ya know?” Erik kept his eyes on his hands, speaking on his feelings made him uncomfortable. But, he trusted Essence enough to know she wouldn’t judge him. “After my dad got...got killed, I been fucked up. Seeing that shit did something to me and I feel bad because you had to see it too.”

There it was. The main reason he tried to keep his distance was due to guilt. Seeing someone die right in front of her had created anxiety and fear that Essence tried her best to suppress. Erik saw right through her though. It was hard enough on him but he had seen some pretty fucked up things. Essence on the other hand was shielded by her grandmother’s love and promise to keep her safe.

“That wasn’t your fault. You didn’t know your uncle-”

“And what if he would have killed you? He was cruel enough to kill his own brother. He could have easily turned the gun on one of us next. I made a promise to protect you and didn’t keep it,” Erik explained. “You see where I’m coming from, E? That shit still messes with me. I’m getting out of here after graduation. Got myself into school and I’m not coming back.”

“You did protect me. You always have and I don’t understand why you couldn’t talk to me about how you felt. All this time I just thought you were being an ass,” Essence replied, placing a comforting hand on his knee. “I mean that shit, Erik. I’ve always felt safe with you.”

His eyes finally shot up as the mood shifted. The wall that had formed between them was beginning to crumble and the air didn’t feel as thick. “Really?”

“Yeah. Really,” she whispered.

Erik stared down at Essence’s lips as if he wanted to kiss her. That urge had never been there before and it felt odd. Going against the voice in his head, he leaned over and placed a gentle kiss on her lips to test the waters. It took Essence by surprise because Erik had never shown interest in her. Maybe he was simply thanking her for being a good friend.

“What was that for,” she asked completely dumbfounded by his actions.

Before he could answer, a banging on the door pulled them away from each other. “Ya’ll fuckin,” one of Erik’s boys yelled. If Essence were lighter, he would see the red rising to her cheeks.

“Dude, shut the fuck up,” Erik growled, pushing his nosey friend away from the door.

They didn’t speak on that kiss for the rest of the night...or ever again.

Two Years Later

After high school graduation, Erik headed to California while Essence headed South to Texas. Not too long after graduation, her mother Tyra was back in jail for fraud, leaving Essence motherless once again. That gave Essence an opportunity to leave her life in Chicago behind to start a new one on her own. For the most part, she was on the right track with a few bumps in the road. To put herself through community college, Essence worked two jobs. Her relationship with Erik was still on the mend, as he navigated school himself. Leaving Illinois was the best decision he had made due to the type of life he was living. Big Chucky still had a hold on the community, forming gangs and selling dope around the neighborhood.

For Spring break, Essence decided to visit Erik in sunny California. She had never been to the west side of the country and was excited about the adventures Erik had planned for the week.

“Boy, open this damn door,” Essence yelled, slapping the door to Erik’s off campus apartment. He opened up, his big Kool-Aid grin on full display. “I think I got the wrong place. My bestie is kinda skinny and can’t grow a beard that connects to save his life. Who are you,” she teased, taking in all the differences in Erik’s appearance. Mini dreads, a full beard and bulging muscles. Under all that, he was still the Erik Stevens she knew from Chi Town.

“Well I’ve never seen you drool over me so maybe you do have the wrong spot,” Erik leaned against the door, looking for any differences in Essence since he last seen her in person two years ago. She was still slim, but her face had matured slightly, her cheeks not as chubby.

“Trust me, I’m not drooling, ugly,” she lied. The two friends fell silent for a short second before bursting out into laughter. “Hey crazy. So good to see you.”

“Likewise, E. It’s been forever,” Erik added, pulling Essence into a tight hug.

Being in each other’s presence made them both feel at home. Home before the tragedy took place and everything changed. They were free to do whatever they wanted. They rode around town blasting their favorite songs and just enjoyed each other’s company. Erik even took Essence to In-N-Out even though it was breaking his strict diet.

After roaming the town for the day, they settled in that night to watch Iron Man, which Essence had seen one too many times already. They were in Erik’s room, with the only television in the apartment. Like old times, they had their movie snacks and were spread out across the bed.

“You bet not touch my candy,” Essence exclaimed, slapping Erik’s hand away.

“Nigga, you been eating my popcorn though,” he argued, taking a few more despite Essence’s protest.

Thirty minutes into the movie, Essence was already leaning on Erik’s shoulder as he sat against the headboard. Usually this meant she was on her way to sleep and he wouldn’t be able to hear the rest of the movie over snores.

“Aye, don’t be falling asleep over there,” he gently tapped Essence with his elbow, interrupting her mini-nap.

“I’m not,” Essence groaned, resting her chin on Erik’s thick shoulder and peering up at him through her lashes. The big difference between now and when they were children was the innocence they held as kids. Now as adults, hormones and the weight of the world was on them. She knew she should have pulled away because they were crossing a line they would never be able to uncross. Essence hated to think that it was impossible to be friends with the opposite sex without being sexually attracted to each other. But it wasn’t all about Erik’s appearance. The way he always wanted to protect her and the genuine love he had for her was what pulled them closer.

This time it wasn’t just a peck and they had no interruptions. Iron Man continued in the background while Erik and Essence began making their own movie….

*record scratches* Oh, you all thought I was going to just give you the full thing right here? We will pick up right where we left off in the next chapter!

Gregg Patrick Faceclaim 

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