#were horrible people in the relationship and it needed to end.

[supergraphicultramoderngirl]

aaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

[medicinemane]

At least I could disable the suggestions but just... I'm sick of it, I'm sick of companies trying to think for me

I'd rather be miserable but doing shit my own way than placid and glass eyed and just taking whatever companies tell me to

Like... literally just asking what I get out of writing a post on tumblr... zero suggestions, just letting me say whatever dumb stuff comes to my head

[musical-chick-13]

I'm the LAST person to suggest that you have to preface every single comment you make about a character/fictional relationship/etc. you like with a reminder that you Know™ it's pRoBLeMaTiC, but I DO question what the point of acting genuinely for real like there were no problems is.

[selenoplexia]

logging back in just bc this is my only private diary

[neverendingford]

.

[gremlingottoosilly]

I met a guy in the Summer (dilf!Konig x fem!Reader)

Your boyfriend is an asshole. Luckily, his hot dad just returned from deployment. CW and Tags: Cheating, dub-con, size kink, daddy kink, age gap(reader in 20s, Konig is early 40s), Konig is a pervert, slightly obsessive Konig, love(and lust) at first sight, fingering, dom!Konig Word count: 3713 AO3

“Just one more game, babe, don’t be a buzzkill. I don’t want to end at a loss.” You didn’t want to be a buzzkill, of course. You simply wanted to be a good girlfriend, have some domestically cozy date, and for your boyfriend to at least try to put an effort into being with you. It wasn’t much to ask for, really. You hoped so, at least. You didn’t want to be an annoying, nagging girlfriend who only ever waits for another reason to yell at him, but your patience started to run thin. 

You spend the past three hours either listening to his apathetic rambling about the shows he watched – really, you wanted to invest in stuff he liked, but an abnormally large amount of animes he talked about had 1000-year-old girls who looked like they were 10, wearing inappropriate outfits, and you started to raise the alarm. 

You also watched him play – and also listened to his rage quitting and angry voice messages to his team that, honestly, made you slightly anxious. You never liked loud people, people who were so easy to rage about something as silly as some colorful video game with too many characters to look after. 

So, like a good girlfriend would – you wanted to be a good girlfriend, he was such a nice guy before you started dating, and you need something to think about besides the tremendous amount of study work you are doing for college – you decided to go and look for snacks. Maybe bring something for him as well. 

— I’ll find something to eat, alright? 

He didn’t respond at first, so you shook his shoulder. Your boyfriend took off his headphones with annoying look on his face, half-turning to look at you. You gulped, suddenly feeling like a child in front of the principal – not a feeling that you were supposed to feel around your partner, but with him, you somehow constantly felt like you were being judged. 

— Nah, stay here. I don’t want my father to see you. 

— Ah…your father is at home? 

You never heard anyone else being at the house – big house, you must admit, and it’s embarrassing almost how you never thought about his family. He lives with his dad, apparently, and the depth of your relationships can only be judged by the fact you literally didn’t know what his father’s name was. 

— Returned from his fucking deployment. He’d ask too many questions about you. 

— You didn’t tell him about me? 

Ah, now you’re hurt a little bit. You knew it wasn’t anything serious or too committed yet, but you intended to make this work. To try and fix all the problems you can without ending things abruptly. 

— He never asked. Not like he cares too much, but…

An apathetic dad, huh. 

You started to slowly piece together the puzzle that was your boyfriend’s horrible boyfriend skills. Now, you want to meet the man who conceived him and kick him in the nuts for creating such an unlovable human being who somehow captivated your chronically lonely heart. 

— If you don’t want me to come and meet him, I can go home. 

He doesn’t answer because his queue is finally coming to another match – you simply nod, knowing everything you need to. You can grab a little snack for yourself, fuck off to your dorm and rethink your life choices while your roommate is getting pounded by some gruss British bloke with an accent that makes your ears bleed. 

You have dignity, and right now, it has asked you to get some snacks from the kitchen. 

*** Now, the only thing König wanted after returning from deployment was to take as many hot showers as he could, shut his bastard of a son up, and get some delicious food waiting for him in the freezer. He was already home for a few days, but adjusting is always hard when you basically fucking hate living at your own house. Of-fucking-course, his son was watching the house while he was away – and now he can’t even think of a good excuse to set him off to his mother. Too old to do this, and split custody never really worked when not even one part of the relationship wanted to take care of the kid. 

König closes the door of the refrigerator – of course, his son took every good thing that he stashed for himself. With a groan, the colonel fights the urge to finally throw him out of the house – a thing he needed to do a few years ago, just when he celebrated his 18th, but some sentimental part of his heart instead promised to help with finding a place close to the college. No good deed goes unpunished. 

With a groan, he takes a few steps from the fridge – and then he almost stumbles across an angel. 

Scheisse

Now, König never thought of himself as a predator who prefers running after college girls who might as well be his daughters. He never thought of himself as a gut who liked them young – his wife, god forsake her name, was his age when they started dating, and he hardly had any sexual encounters with a person under 25 in the past few years. Well, not like he had any sexual encounters in the past years, but…

The thing is – he never thought he liked girls with wide eyes, pouty faces, and trembling hands who were holding a bag of his cookies that he carefully stashed away from his son. 

You are wearing something cute, a nice skirt and an adorable pink cardigan that looks so cozy and warm and soft, and he fights the urge to grab your skirt and simply lift it, You’re dressed up for a cute coffee date, and König has to double check if he isn’t dreaming and no one has decided to play a prank on him and send him a cute callgirl. 

— Oh! Sorry. It’s yours, isn’t it? 

You give him his cookies back – but not before your fingers fished another salty caramel goodness out of the bag, and you bit it. He looks at your teeth, at your lips, and glimpses of your tongue – god, he is an old, dirty bastard because even his baggy pants aren’t enough to hide his boner. You have no right to look this pretty for a man who hasn’t seen a woman in three months and hasn’t had sex in the past few years. 

You lick the crumbs from your fingers – it’s such a deliberate action that he can’t believe he actually sees it, and it’s not even something from porn he used to like. 

— Ja. You can have it. 

He would give you the code to his bank account if you asked for it. 

— Thank you, sir. I’m…well, I assume if Paul didn’t introduce me to you…I’m his girlfriend. Nice to meet you. 

You lick your lips and take a step back, pressed against the counter. He looks at the sway of your hips, a bit of crumbs on your shirt, and almost brushes it away with his hands. It would be a good excuse to touch your chest – but he can’t be like this, he has to keep his urges under control, or else his son will never forgive him. 

Yeah, like he needs a better reason to throw his useless son from his home. 

— Girlfriend? He never spoke about you. 

You look sad, and he immediately curses under his breath. For a moment, you look too fragile – too real. He can’t handle this look on a woman, especially as pretty and young as you are. You bat your eyelashes, even involuntarily, and he already prepares to give you the keys to his home just so you’d stop with such miserable expressions. He has a spare bedroom. 

He has his bedroom with a bed that would be enough for both of you. 

— Ah. Um. We’re…I guess we’re not at this stage yet. 

— Knowing him, you’ll never be, Schatz. 

You look at him immediately – you’re offended, angry, and sad at the same time. There is a certain stubbornness in your eyes that immediately makes him want to simply scoop you in his arms, lift you, and drag you straight to the altar – and here he thought that his impulses over getting married would be over after his first divorce. 

— What do you mean by this, sir? 

You look uncertain now, he can see this in your eyes – and really, knowing his asshole of a child, he is almost sure that Paul never once got you off, either physically or emotionally. 

Now, König never once considered himself to be a good man. He has killed countless people, overthrown many governments, and made shitty jobs for shitty people way more than saving hostages to help the good guys – and in the romantic field, it’s even worse. Wife, unsatisfied with his controlling tendencies and inability to feel normal love for a human being – and a son who hates him because, in fact, he never once wanted to have a kid. 

He looks at you and sees a pretty young thing, still in college or freshly out of, probably without a stable job and normal social standing – a good girl won’t be with his son if she isn’t stupid or extremely desperate for a relationship. 

The thing is, König is also extremely desperate for another warm body next to his, to feel a woman beside him, to love and obsess over someone – he looks at your pouty lips and shaky hands, at the way you bite the corner of your glossy mouth, and he almost wants to drop you on this very table and fuck you until you’re crying under him. He can’t do just that, of course. It would probably make you extremely uncomfortable and scared, but…well, quite frankly, his son doesn’t deserve you. 

König is. 

— I won’t sugarcoat it, Schatz. My son is a Scheiß Arschloch…fucking asshole, that is. I’m surprised he brought home someone as cute as you. 

You feel embarrassment collecting in your body. Paul’s dad is a…interesting man. 

Tall, broad, very muscular – even his baggy house clothes aren’t really concealing his extremely interesting physique from your eyes. He looks yummy and tasty, and you fight the urge to eye the bulge in his pants because you’re a good girl, you don’t look at your boyfriend’s dad like this. 

König has greying ginger hair, locks already curling slightly at the lack of cutting, and you fight the urge to sit on the counter and get your palm in his scalp, massage his head gently, and pull him closer for a kiss. You feel like a dirty, horrible woman – your boyfriend is in his room, probably enjoying his time on your “date” while you’re lusting over his father. 

Then again, this date already felt like a disaster. This relationship, too. 

— Paul isn’t all that bad, sir. 

“He at least has a nice dick,” you wanted to add but stopped yourself. Paul is tall and somewhat strong – if he weren’t sitting at his computer all day, you would call him even muscular. And he has a nice dick, yes, even though he had no idea how to use it. You liked the idea of laying with him, of spraying your jaw trying to fit all of this in your mouth, but his kinks and his sex skills being directly taken from porn…not really your thing. 

You look at König and wonder if they are similar in all of the places. He is his father, after all. 

König catches your gaze locked on his bulge and smirks. 

God, if he knew his son had such a cute girl, he would ask her to come earlier. He is two weeks off deployment and probably won’t take another long contract for a few months because they just upped his retirement payings, and he can afford to slack off a little bit, only visiting the home base for some training and instructions for rookies. 

He can afford to retire and never worry about money again – but he needs someone to make his days less boring, right? 

You look like a good candidate. 

— I’m sure my son was convincing, but I know him better than anyone. He doesn’t deserve you, Schatz. 

He is shitty at flirting, it’s not his forte – he can flaunt his money, maybe, show you in his wallet and bank account face first. He can just straight up ask you to be his sugar baby and suck his cock instead of doing your studies, but he can’t flirt and manipulate to save his life. Lying isn’t something he is good for, this is why his wife has left. 

— I…not sure we should be having this conversation here. 

You’re a good girl, and it’s infuriating. He knows that having someone in his bed shouldn’t be the end goal for his leave, but he wants you, and by the look on your face, you aren’t opposed to the idea. König doesn’t understand if he likes that you’re so reserved about it or if he wants you to be a bit more slutty – but he captures you in the space between the kitchen counter and presses you with his body. 

— You want to see the bedroom then?

Pushes you so close his knee gets between your legs – it might look involuntary like he didn’t exactly want for it to be placed here, but you aren’t dumb, you know what he wants from you. Like a good fucking girl, you’re too shy to give it to him right about now. God, sometimes he hates being so nice to people around him. 

— Sir, this is very…

He got you caged in his hands, body trapped in his embrace – you jerk your head upwards a little bit, staring at him like a small bird in the hands of a predator. He isn’t a strong man in regard of morals, he doesn’t see anything wrong with fucking his son’s girlfriend – if the girl is up to it. And if she isn’t…well, he better make sure she is. 

— What is it, Schatz? Paul won’t hear us in his headphones.

You know just how wrong it is, and you almost want to escape – his dick grinds on your pelvis through his pants, and you’re horrified to see how big it is. Excited too, of course, he is bigger than your boyfriend ever could be, and you don’t want to be a slut, but, oh well, not like you were in a committed and serious relationship anyway. 

Paul was seeing your friends more than you ever saw them – it’s probably a sign that you should settle for someone older. You did enjoy Lana Del Rey's songs, after all. 

— I don’t want to break his heart. 

— He doesn’t have one. 

You’re lost when he pushes his lips to kiss you over and over again – a surprisingly good kisser, and you give in because it was the first time in forever a kiss made you feel this good. His lips are sending electricity down your spine, you want to moan just from his knee, pushing on the softness of your cunt through that adorable skirt you liked so much – you feel so small like this, so tiny in his hands, you…

God, you feel like a slut, and you like it. 

Soon enough, you answered the kiss, your lips meeting his in a dance that made you feel hot, that made you feel like your boyfriend never could. Never thinking of yourself as someone who can fall so easily into the hands of an older man, now you know that he got you right where he wanted. 

You push your hand on his pants, trying to get the control back – but he stops you, a giant hand enveloping your wrist and pushing you back. With a surprise on your face, König just wants to kiss you all over. God, you’re adorable, and he knows that you deserve way more than being fucked on the rough kitchen counter while your so-called boyfriend is too busy dickriding his friends in some useless online game. 

— Not now, princess. You deserve better than being fucked on the kitchen counter, ja? It can come later. 

“Later” sounds like a promise, and you bite back your moan when he keeps pushing his knee against your cunt, making you throb and clench on nothing. He is such a gentleman, you can’t help but compare him to his son – and his fabulous ability to make you feel dirty after fucking you in the backseat of his car and tossing you to your dorm with your pussy still wet and messy after you didn’t cum. 

You sob, not from sadness, but from pleasure mixed with some weird, unnatural for you emotions – you feel weird, strained here like this, but you hug his neck and whisper something in his ear. Something, dangerously sounding just like “daddy, please” 

König is blushing, and he looks fucking adorable. 

— Daddy, ja? God, you’re dangerous, liebling. Going to get me in trouble with my son later. 

He laughs when he kisses you again, his hand slipping in your panties only to find them completely soaked – he knows you deserve a nice pillow and soft sheets under your body, and he pushes you up so you can hug his waist with your legs. You rely on him like a cute pet, and you’re so perfect in his hands he curses himself for not seeing you before. 

He is going to ruin you for anyone but him. Put so much cum in you, it will make your tummy bulge – make you his precious sugar baby, pay for your dumb college and make you move to his bedroom instead of some shitty dorm you probably share with four other people. 

He can be good for you – but he will ruin you for anyone else, anyone appropriate, every guy your age who clearly doesn’t know how to treat a lady right. 

— So wet for me…such a filthy thing, I didn’t know my son dated a whore. 

— N…not a whore, please…

He kisses you on your forehead, silently apologizing. You feel his crooked, scarred smile, and you push your face up to kiss him – you want to touch him so badly it makes you feel stupid. 

— Sorry, Schatzen. Not a whore, a good girl for her daddy, ja? So nice for me, too fucking young…

— W…we really shouldn’t… — Tshhh, don’t think about it. Thinking will only hurt your pretty dumb head. — I’m not…

— Quiet, little one. Let daddy handle everything.

He kisses you over and over, his fingers playing with your pussy – meaty digits digging in your hole, making you whimper from sudden intrusion. He is big, bigger than anyone else, just two of his fingers are enough to spread you as much as normal cock would, and even though you’re used to taking Paul’s size, you just know that his dad would be much, much bigger. He is going to split you open, and you will love every fucking second. 

It feels so wrong, you still aren’t sure if you want him to touch you like this. 

It feels so right, he is experienced and eager, pushing every button to make you squirm in his grasp. Your orgasm comes embarrassingly quick – maybe because you haven’t gotten off in ages, only miserable masturbation sessions and poor attempts at faking your orgasm made it feel real. Paul never cared enough to actually get you off – but now…

You aren’t ready for him. You squirm in his grasp when the pressure becomes too much, and he soothes you, two fingers still buried in your soaked cunt. You feel so dirty, so wrong right now – you are cumming on the fingers of your boyfriend’s absent father, and you love every second of it. 

Post-orgasm clarity makes you whiny and sobby, and you whimper in his shoulder when he gently lifts you in his hands. God, you’re adorable, and he knows that he just scrambled your brain with that orgasm – it’s good, really, he might just want to keep your pretty head nice and empty for him. Not like you would ever need to think in his presence, the colonel can handle everything in- and out- of bed. 

König holds you close, not allowing you to scramble away no matter how embarrassed you are. You are his precious thing, with a pouty face, and he will do everything in his power to make you squirm on his fingers again and again before he makes you his wife for good. 

So impulsive, maybe this is why his son is such an asshole – taking the worst traits of his father. 

— Don’t cry, Schatzen. You’re okay, it felt good, didn’t it? 

— W…we shouldn’t have. Shit. I’m sorry, it was a m…god, I need to tell Paul. 

— I’ll tell him. 

— No! — I will tell my asshole of a son that you’re my girl now, ja? And then I will take you to the bedroom, so we can fuck. 

— I need to return to my dorm. 

— And then I will dine you properly, okay? Sorry, Liebling, I know I should court you before all of this…but we can afford to go a bit off board, ja? 

He is smiling, so smitten and obsessed over just having you cum on his fingers once – you don’t have the heart to say no. Never did. You’re a good, proper girl, and Paul was never treating you right anyway. You feel dirty, yes, but somehow, it is almost right. 

He peppers your face with kisses, like a dog lapping its tongue all over your skin – you’re so concentrated on the warmth of his strong, seasoned body that you don’t even look in the direction of the doorway to the kitchen. 

Paul, however, looks straight at you, disheartened and shocked. 

— W…what the fuck, dad?! König laughs, kissing you once again – deep, hot, with tongue and loud, sloppy sounds of your mouth pressing into one another. You’re stuck in place, still caged in his arms like a precious little pet you are. 

— She’ll make a good step mom, ja? 

You don’t even register his hands slowly caressing your fingers as if he already tries to check the ring sizes. 

[cheyisagirlkisser]

݁ ˖ ◜You're Vi's prison wife: 18+ HCs

•Vi who was never quiet in prison. She loved mouthing off, especially to the guys who had egos 20 times the size of their dicks. She usually stuck to using people for her own gain in Stillwater. Men were her entertainment, and women her pleasure. Anything between could serve as both, depending on how annoying they were.

•Vi who was sent to share your cell after she tortured some poor guy in the cell next to hers. The warden's orders were final, and she was banned from even stepping foot in that floor. You resided in the third floor for petty crimes, but you were a Zaunite, so of course you were given more time than necessary.

•Vi who was always either punching the walls of your cell or making sarcastic comments. It was honestly entertaining for you, a blessing in a place like Stillwater. She warmed up to you quickly, probably out of pure boredom and loneliness, but she didn't mind sharing a cell if it meant with a pretty undercity girl. She was starting to get...ansty, though.

•Vi who (mostly) jokingly asked you to be her prison wife. You laughed in her face at first, confused as to what the term 'prison wife' even meant. She explained to you, in great detail, that prison wives are like short-term relationships without the actual love. It was just a way to combat the loneliness that set in with the environment and to have a physical stress-reliever. Then she asked you forreal, and you ended up agreeing with the pathetic but desperate feelings that swarmed you. Everyone had the need to feel loved, even if it was pretend. It was just human nature.

•Vi who liked sneaking over to your bed at night when the guards didn't really care to do rounds after midnight. At first, it was for cheeky reasons such as talking to you, sometimes flirting around. Then, she'd plop down onto your bed and pull you in for late-night make-out sessions. Her lips felt so warm against yours, even if they were chapped and she was rather brash. Her kisses felt desperate in a sense, as she always sought out your tongue with hers, and after the first few times, quiet laughs and small sessions turned into her mouth finding its way down your body, her eyes remaining on yours as she ate you out like you were a Michelin-level meal in a world of canned beans.

•Vi who was a MUNCH. She loved taking her time, smothering her wet, sloppy kisses all over your thighs in the late hours until you cursed under your breath and only encouraged more. Fuck, she loved taking care of her prison wife. She'd finally slide her tongue between your slick folds, dipping deeper into your hole and letting her nose brush up against your swollen bud. Soon, she'd attend the mass that was your clit, her tongue swirling around it as she used her heavy hands to pry your legs further apart. You would be dumbed down to absolutely nothing, a blabbering slut for her to mold however she wanted. You would beg for mercy after the third orgasm, and Vi would feign sweetness, climbing up your body to clamp a hand over your mouth. When you finally began to relax, she gave you a shit-eating grin and slid two(or three if you can handle it) digits into your cunt, loving the way your whines created vibrations through her other hand that muffled your sounds.

•Vi who was more than just pleasure for you. Being a wife and all is always more than what you get from simply fucking. For instance: the prison food in Stillwater was unbelievably horrible, but you did like the peaches they'd serve. Vi, like clockwork, would shuffle over to you and hold out her tray to you, peaches the only uneaten food. In return, you had her back. If a guard asked you if Vi had anything to do with the guy with a broken nose? You didn't see a thing.

•Vi who was obsessed with your tits. Sometimes, she'd spend what felt like hours with her mouth latched onto one of your nipples, your breathing heavy from the pure intensity of her touch. She wouldn't even need to fuck you on those nights, and if she did she'd still have a hand groping a tit while she had her head buried between your thighs, or leave hickies on both as her fingers sought deep inside you.

•Vi who noticed you had a huge problem with not being able to shut up during sex, so she opted for slipping her fingers into your mouth. That choice turned out much different than she had even hoped for, because the feeling of your soft, wet tongue swirling around and tasting her skin? God, it’d send jolts straight to her core. It became a routine to practically finger-fuck your mouth while she was actually finger-fucking you.

•Vi who fell much harder for you than she should've. She wasn't immune to feelings, but at least tried to keep everything impersonal in prison. You, however, wrecked any efforts she made. You were addictive and made her weak in the knees with a smile. You were somehow so soft and sweet, and you didn't truly belong in a cell. Still, she was grateful you were, so she could have you all to herself for as long as possible.

•Vi who got out a few months before you, and when you finally returned to the under-city, she didn't hesitate to stake a claim on you forreal. You were hers, inside or outside of that fucked up prison. Just now, she could have you moan as loudly as she could possibly cause, and she could fuck you in her own bed.

[autisticlee]

I hate when I tell people that something they tell me to do/try doesn't work for me, I tried it and it didn't work, it won't work for me because it doesn't consider my particular circumstances, i'm unable to do it because X reason, or i'm uncomfortable doing something, and their response is that i'm ~not even trying! just giving up! making excuses! complaining too much! being negative! ignoring their advice! dismissing them when they're just trying to help!~

why don't you listen to me????? if you truly want to help, you will listen to me, consider my circumstances, needs, boundaries, etc, and not make it all about YOU. especially when I don't even want advice and just want support/comfort.

[baldursgate3tempobsessed]

Soft Astarion Jealousy

Now with part 2!

I love Ascended Astarion because he's horrible but the sweetness of the other end of the spectrum is impossible to deny. He's just so in love and grateful I can't 🥺🥺

So here's some jealousy that isn't psychotic. Well it is but not as bad:

Astarion never expected to be the jealous type. He always thought...well. In all honesty he never thought about the reality of having a relationship. He didn't even think it was possible for him, let alone the idea that he would actually want it. Even with you, even after he admitted a fraction of his own feelings to himself, he never thought that he would be so... possessive. Though admittedly, he had very good cause for it.

Because you were frustrating. So, so frustrating. For some idiotic reason, you simply didn't understand how alluring to others you really were. You were a pretty little thing, yes but that wasn't the problem. It was so much more than that. And he knew that the others wanted you. Every last one of them. Lae'zel, Shadowheart, Wyll, Karlach, Gale, Halsin. All of them like moths to a flame. And that wasn't even counting all of the strangers you had met on your journey, the extras that thought they had a shot with your greatness. They all wanted you in ways that made Astarion seethe. And the desire from others wasn't even the kind that he was used to, the kind he understood like the back of his hand. Because you didn't need to seduce to cultivate desire. All you needed to stoke the flames was merely your presence. Experiencing you was all that was required for people to know they wanted more.

Astarion knew that the others weren't just looking for a bedmate, they wanted you for the same reasons he had grown to. Your empathy, your desire to understand those around you. Your fearlessness, your infuriating habit of always trying to do the right thing. They wanted you for your laugh, the way your eyes would crinkle in the corners when your smile was too wide. Your silly jokes, your endless hopefulness for a future. It felt as though everyone around saw you for the gem that you were and it was... concerning. Extremely concerning.

Astarion hated thinking about things like this. He loathed admitting the truth to himself even more. But he was...terrified of losing you to someone else. Especially since it could so easily be done. He was so very lucky that you weren't the brightest, or at least not when it came to matters of the heart. You could do so much better than him, a fact that was incredibly obvious to everyone around you. Everyone but you, a luck that Astarion did not take lightly. But how much time did he have before it ran out? Would it ever?

Perhaps it was delusional, but he was starting to think when all of this was over, assuming neither of you perished anyway, that...it could just be the two of you. Living together, exploring the world, even if it had to be under the cloak of night. Maybe... maybe the two of you could even find a cure for his unsavory condition. The thought itself was incredibly stupid, but then again, it was just as idiotic to believe that there was a cure to the Mind Flayer parasite. But here they were, closer then ever. And if that was such an impossibility turned into reality, perhaps a vampiric cure wasn't so impossible. Or maybe even finding an alternative method for immortality for you, without the downsides of his own. Anything that could just keep you both together, for as long as possible. It was an unrealistic dream, that would never come into fruition. If anything it was dangerous, so very dangerous to even entertain the thought of forever. Especially when your connection was so tenuous.

Astarion would never be stupid enough to thank Cazador for anything but...he'd be lying if he said he wasn't appreciative for his own lack of subtly when it came to seducing you. Even if it originally was for distasteful reasons, it still got him ahead of the pack. If he had been less calculating, less astute, there was a sincere chance that you would be warming someone else's bed at night. Callousness would never be without it's uses, even if it led to uncomfortable situations like his current infatuation.

What would he do when you inevitably wanted to leave? How could he survive after having something so...good. Someone so caring, someone who for some very horrifying reason liked being around him. And the sex... it was fabulous. He was a massive fan of your intimacy, when he was capable of participating in it. He adored it, he adored you, your beauty, the sweet noises he could coax from your mouth, the europhia of being inside of you. Then there was the fact that you could be intimate without any traces of it devolving into lovemaking. He had never been gifted with the ability to say no before, so often and so freely without a single fear of punishment. If anything, it felt like he was rewarded when he was honest with you, when he would share his sudden fits of discomfort in his own body, the memories that plagued him and doomed him to staying stubbornly soft. You would never get angry, never even disappointed. You would just listen and smile, always adorable when you would ask, "But I can stay for a cuddle, can't I?"

An extremely silly question, considering the two of you hadn't spent a night apart from each other since you'd made it to the Shadowlands. Yet it never failed to make him melt.

It was getting worse, these feelings. He just wanted you around, by his side, constantly. Constant enough for him to get the ridiculous urge to hiss at anyone else who dared to come near you. He felt an intense need to protect the closeness the both of you had cultivated, the kind that he had never been allowed before. He had no interest in sharing you with your own friends when it came down to it, let alone another lover.

Which is precisely why his original, mild distaste for Halsin turned into a full-blown hatred the night he had the gall to proposition you.

It had felt like a shard of ice going through his chest when you bounded over to him, laughing about one of his greatest fears coming much too close to reality, "You won't believe the conversation Halsin and I just had-"

"Ah, I was wondering when you were going to ask me about that," Astarion laughed, purposefully interrupting you. He had no desire to hear the specifics of that conversation. He didn't even want to be having this conversation, where you were inevitably going to ask if it was okay to explore someone else.

The answer was no. Never would he be okay with it, allowing someone else to be close to what should have been his. But he needed to think strategically here. To say no could be disasterous. If it became a game of choice between him and Halsin... he's almost certain he would lose. Halsin was everything he wasn't; caring, giving, sharing in your worldviews in a way that Astarion never could. He couldn't risk it, he wouldn't. Having you at all was better than nothing.

"But I'd never even consider something like that-"

"It's fine," Astarion interrupts again, the fakest smile he can muster plastered on his face. The pain was worth the risk mitigation, he was sure of that. But... he still had to ask, "But is this because we haven't...y'know, in awhile?"

A sick part of him prays that you'll say yes. Because if that's the reason, he could do something about it. He could force himself if need be to always tend to your needs. Especially if it meant keeping you to himself. It was such a small sacrifice in comparison to the rest of his life. He would do it in a heartbeat if you demanded, anything to just make you stay.

But that was not the answer he received. Instead you frowned, looking him up and down, "What? No, I-Astarion no. Please don't think that. What we have together is so special to me. The physical part of it is lovely, perfect even. But...it's not what we are."

It's almost comforting to hear you say that. But then why did that make the situation feel so much worse? If it wasn't sex you were after then that certainly meant you wanted more with Halsin as well, did it not? But it was too late to rescind it now.

Astarion nodded, a confused mixture of hurt and gratefulness swirling through him, "I just needed to know. But if you're satisfied with me and just want to explore, go right ahead. I'll be here when you're done."

You nodded slowly, brow furrowed when you asked, "So...we aren't exclusive then?"

"No, of course not," Astarion confirmed, ignoring everything inside of him that was screaming for him to take it all back, "We can be as open as you'd like."

"I see..." You said, trailing off with a frown. You coughed into your hand, looking up at him sharply. Sharp enough for him to be sincerely confused, "Does this mean that you'll be speaking to me before you explore your other options?"

"I-yes? If you want?" Astarion answered, a new type of unease settling in his chest. You didn't seem very happy with this conversation, despite his best attempts to give you what you wanted. Where had he gone wrong? Was he already working to throw you into the arm's of another man, without even trying?

You were still frowning at him, your look cold in a way that made him feel particularly ill, "Please do. I'd like to know everything. I'm going to speak to Halsin, get this all sorted. We can talk later."

And then you were spinning on your heel and marching away, like Astarion was the offensive party here. It made no sense. He had done it all right, hadn't he? Agreed to it immediately, didn't make you feel guilty, had tried to be what you wanted. How had he failed?

He didn't wait around to see you go to Halsin. Instead he went straight back to his tent, closing the flap as he laid down. Great. Fantastic. Now he would have to be aware, perhaps even hear you being with another, while simultaneously reliving that horrid conversation in his head for the entire night. The hurt and worry was making his mind wander to uncomfortable places. Perhaps...Halsin could be dealt with in another way if things became too serious between the two of you.

Would poisoning the man be too extreme?

But before Astarion had the time to start thinking of a more detailed plan he was interrupted. Suddnely, moonlight was filling his tent, with your silleoute shining in the darkness.

He blinked up at you, confused, "What are you doing here?"

You frowned at him, looking hesitant in the entry way, "Should I not be? I thought-I can go if you'd like."

"No!" Astarion blurted out, loud and desperate enough to make him cringe. He cleared his throat, trying again, his voice still a touch too pitiful for his liking, "No, no, come here darling. Of course you're always welcome. I just assumed you would be busy."

To his relief you listened, crawling into the bedroll next to him. Astarion didn't waste any time in wrapping his arms around you, relieved to humiliating degrees that you had chosen to come back after the deed. Though...you didn't quite smell as he had thought you would. There were no traces of the floral, woodsy smell of the druid on your skin. Just the sweet, pleasant scent that he had grown so fond of.

You sighed as he tucked you against him, the warmth of you enough to make him relax for the first time that night. You laid together in a pleasant quiet, one that Astarion was actually scared to disturb. Despite the fact that he desperately wanted to know what happened between the two of you.

But you broke the silence for him, muttering into his chest after the two of you were settled, "I'm...sorry for being snappish earlier. I shouldn't have been. You didn't do anything wrong, and I know I don't own you. I shouldn't have assumed."

Astarion frowned, pulling back to get a proper look at your face. You looked hurt, sad even. Like you were the one who had gotten their heart broken. He could feel a curl of distaste settling in his stomach, annoyed that this felt as though the situation was being placed back to him. He had played his part, perfectly. What more could you ask for? What was there to assume?

"I'm not sure I understand what you mean," Astarion carefully said, his eyes fixed on every micro expression on your face, "What did I do that could have been construed as incorrect?"

"Nothing!" You rushed to say, shame coloring your cheeks, "I was being stupid. You never promised me anything. I just...assumed. Wrongly that we were something we aren't."

That didn't-he-what? Astarion frowned at her, his confusion evident on his face, "What did you think we were?"

You looked uncomfortable, avoiding his gaze when you answered, "I thought that we were...together. Alone. Just us. But if that's not what you want I understand. It's fine-"

"What in the hells are you talking about?" Astarion blurted out, his anger and pain bubbling to the surface, "I haven't done a thing. And we were just us before you decided to galivant off with a bear of a man!"

He regretted the words as soon as they were out of his mouth. So much for playing things safely. No, he couldn't even have the self-control to stay quiet. He always had to ruin everything.

But surprisingly, you didn't look angry. If anything you seemed just as confused as he felt, "What? I didn't-we didn't do anything! When did I say I wanted to do anything with Halsin? You were the one saying you didn't care!"

You weren't making any damn sense, "Well why else would you ask me about it?"

"I didn't!" You huffed, glaring at him, "All I was going to say was that he asked me. And I wanted your help on how to best turn him down! And then you jumped at the chance to push me onto someone else-"

"I did nothing of the sort!" Astarion seethed back, "If it was up to me you would never look at another man again! Or woman for that matter!"

It was an odd feeling, to be arguing while holding each other so closely. But Astarion had no intention of letting you go anytime soon, even if he could feel you squirming against his ironclad grip when you fumed at him, "Then why would you say it was okay?!"

"Because I don't want you to leave me!" He shouted back, loud enough to snap him out of his own anger. All of his fury was instantly replaced with fear. Gods, why had he felt the need to say that? To lay his biggest insecurity out on the line. Why not just hand you a stake while he was at it, since he was so eager to give you the tools to destroy him.

But you were still seething, hissing back at him, "Why praytell, would I leave the man I've been in love with for months? Hm? Please, explain it to me!"

Astarion couldn't. He was too busy being shell-shocked at the confession, feeling too many emotions at once. Joy, relief, somehow even more fear than before. You so freely said the words that he had done his damndest to bury, to ignore. But now they were out there, filling him with a horrifying joy.

He wanted to say it back. He did. But he couldn't get the wrecthed words out. Instead he was just staring at you like an imbeicle, his mouth hanging opening at the confession.

But his silence didn't make you falter. Instead you looked determined, near fierce as you grasped his face into your warm hands, "I love you Astarion. You don't have to say it back. That's not what this is about. But I want you. And only you. If you want the same of me then you must tell me. Now."

Astarion let his hands flutter over your wrists, humiliating tears prickling at his eyes. But at least his vocal chords allowed him to answer you this time, "I do. So much more than you know. I want us. Just us. No one else."

The words were flowing out of him, too fast and sincere for him to make the appropriate edits in his head. He was saying too much, feeling too much, giving too much. But the way your eyes brightened at his words, the way you grinned at him before pulling him in for a sweet kiss made it suddenly feel like he wasn't giving anything up at all.

As much as he loathed to admit it, Astarion was exceedingly grateful for Halsin's existence after that night. He would never have had the gall to demand you to himself without a trigger, without the anger you both shared at being misunderstood. Because now, you were his. His alone, the proclamation coming from your own lips. And he was free to stop hiding how much he had wanted it. How willing he was to do anything to keep it. He let himself off his own leash after that, leaning completely into the mutual ownership you had of each other. No more would he silently sit back and seethe as a stranger flirted with you. No, now he'd be upfront and center, with a possessive hand around your waist as he glared them down, more than prepared with a confidence-shattering quip on his tongue.

He started to let all of his urges seep through, taking full advantage of your willingness. If Wyll looked at you for too long at the fire, with a touch of something that Astarion didn't like in his eyes, he'd effortlessly pull you into his lap onlookers be damned as breathed you in. If Gale suddenly had a suspect offer to teach you some new magic in a secluded location, Astarion would invite himself, impervious to any glares sent his way. And when he felt as though all of them were being a bit too flirtaious, he was more than happy to put them in their places at night. Spending hours upon hours making you scream his name in bed from pleasure, loud enough for everyone to hear and know exactly who you belonged to.

He couldn't care less if it added to his own unpopularity amongst their merry-band of rejects. Their opinions didn't matter. Not when you were eating all of the sudden attention up.

You let him do it all because you understood him, in ways that no one else had bothered to before. You knew who he was, what he wanted, the extent to how much he craved your attention. And you let it all happened, reveled in it even. The intense shows of affection. Because you loved him. And he loved you. And one of these days he'd allow himself to admit the obvious.

But for now, he had what he wanted. What he needed. And in the first time in his life, even with disgusting tadpoles squirming his his brain, Astarion was actually...happy.

[prettyboykatsuki]

there is such a trauma to daughterhood. it comes from the lack of agency - not only from being born as a woman but existing in the world as a child. an oppression on top of an oppression. people make jokes about girls with daddy issues but nothing compares to the kind of trauma you recieve from having a complicated relationship with your mother. people talk about it so often. and it's one thing to have a mother who hates you which is always awful, but often it feels worse to have a mother who doesn't. to have a mother who is simply exhausted by the fact you were born. a mother who doesn't hate you, but loves her men more. a mother who maybe wanted to be a mom, once, and then came to realize what a thankless job it was. and she didn't want to hate you, but it was hard to love you and even harder to like you. a mother who doesn't hate you exactly, but never outgrows her desire to be attractive and beautiful and makes you her enemy in that way. or a mother who has nothing more to her than being a mother and clings to coddling you in a way thats suffocating. so many daughters develop deep empathy for the mothers because they were women, daughters, girls once. everyone deals with it differently. but at the end of it, you still need a mother and that is the most horrible and wretched part of all. the trauma of being alive, of being a woman, and of having a mother but still needing one. such a uniquely miserable feeling

[witchesverse]

life & death

pairing: agathario x reader

summary/request: the oldest deities, life and death, fall in love with a human but everything falls apart when her child dies. centuries later, you meet your past lovers on the witches' road.

content: angst without a happy ending, mention of death, crying, agatha being angry and hurt.

masterlist

You have been around since the start of life and since then, you have only managed to fall in love with two witches.

One of the witches was your complete opposite and not in a personality or aesthetic way, but in a way that she took life whilst you gave life. She was Death and you were Life. You would think that Death and Life would not be able to stand each other, but you craved each other.

For a very, very long time, she and you were each other's only lovers. Until you met Agatha Harkness. It was unbelievable that two of the oldest deities fell in love with a human, but it had happened.

Alas, it fell apart.

You had breathed life into the child growing in Agatha's stomach and all was good. His heartbeat was strong and you could feel his life churning through his body. Then, you felt nothing.

For the first time in existence, Life had fought Death.

It was wrong. It went against the natural order of life and death. But you could not bear to watch Death take away one of your most precious creations.

So, the boy lived for six years.

When Death came back for a second time, you couldn't fight her. It broke both of your hearts to watch Agatha cry and beg.

But even love cannot stop the natural order.

Once he was taken by Death, your relationship with the witches' was killed.

There was deep hatred in Agatha's heart for Life and Death. She hated how you did not keep the life in him and she hated how Death took the life. After that, everyone went their separate ways. The only connection you had with Death was feeling her take the life from your creations.

But centuries later, you met your lovers on The Witches' Road.

A grin was plastered across Rio's face as Agatha clawed at her and screamed in anguish.

"I hate you!" Agatha practically growled.

Rio turned to you with a dramatic surprised look on her face. "Do you hear that, my love? Agatha hates me! That's news I haven't heard before."

You stared at her, unsure of how to reply. Rio had always been the more sarcastic and cruel one, but her sarcasm seemed too cruel.

Agatha grunted, turned away and walked hastily down the Road.

Her coven glanced between the three of you with a look of confusion on their face.

You sighed. This was going to be horrible.

And so it was.

Rio continued to make comments towards Agatha, which only angered her. There were a few times you thought Agatha was going to slap her across the face.

You hadn't said much. Being Life, you preferred to watch people interact. You have done your job by breathing life into them, and now you can watch them use that life to their own liking.

It was as you all sat around a campfire you found yourself talking.

"I have a scar." Rio abruptly spoke.

Agatha laughed. "No, you don't."

Yes, I do." She insisted, glancing over at you and locked eyes. You shifted awkwardly under her gaze.

"A long time ago, Y/n and I had to do something we really didn't want to do, but it was my job and I had to do it."

Agatha stiffened.

"And in the process, we deeply hurt someone who we both love." You continued as you understood who she was talking about.

"And she is my scar," Rio concluded.

You wanted to say more, but Agatha stood and muttered something about needing fresh air. Naturally, Rio and you followed her.

Agatha stood in the middle of a deeper part of the forest. Now, that you were further away from the coven, you could feel how strong her life was and that made you smile.

You brushed your hand against Agatha's arm but she pulled away. "Don't."

"Agatha, you know we couldn't control it."

Wrong words. There were unshed tears in Agatha's eyes and her brow furrowed. You watched as pure anger filled her eyes before sadness washed over.

"Couldn't control it?" Her voice wavered with emotion. "You are Life and she is Death. What the hell do you mean you couldn't control it?"

She dug her finger accusingly into your chest.

Rio grabbed her finger and stepped into her personal space. Agatha tried to pull away but Rio kept a tight grip on her.

"I understand you are angry, but-"

"Angry? Are you fucking serious, right now?" Agatha made a noise of disbelief. "I feel furious, hurt, abandoned, heartbroken, and lost. You both took my boy away from me and expect me to just be angry? You are unbelievable."

You swallowed roughly. You had imagined this exact situation millions of times in your head, but now that it was actually happening, you didn't know how to react.

"Agatha, I loved Nicky dearly and taking his soul was the last thing I wanted to do. I gave you something that has never been given in all existence because I love you and him." Rio spoke calmly and sincerely, completely different from how she spoke sarcastically earlier.

"If you really loved me, you wouldn't have taken his life away." Her eyes flicked over to you. "And if you really loved me, you would've kept feeding him life."

"You're both monsters."

Those words stung. You bit your lip and held back tears from forming in your eyes. You didn't want to cry, not in front of them.

Being Life, you weren't used to being called cruel names. People praised and worshipped you. But being called such a cruel name by a person you loved broke your heart.

Agatha scoffed at the silence and walked back to the coven, leaving Rio and you alone.

Rio didn't seem as bothered by Agatha's words. Being Death, she was constantly called cruel names, therefore, she was used to it.

"It's okay to cry."

"I'm not going to cry." Your voice broke with emotion as you said that.

Rio sighed, pulling you into her embrace. You buried your face in the crook of her neck and you cried softly.

"Why can't she understand that we couldn't stop it?"

"Nobody will ever understand it. Humans think life and death are simple but don't realise how complicated it is."

Rio kissed your neck before pulling your face out of her neck and cupping it lovingly. She wiped your tears away with her thumb and sadly smiled.

It broke her heart that you were upset.

"I miss her." You sniffled. "I miss us."

Rio's brows furrowed and she wiped her own tears away. "I know."

You wrapped your arms around her neck and kissed her softly. Your heart fluttered and you relaxed in her hold. Kissing Rio was one of the most magical feelings.

When you broke apart, you rested your forehead against hers.

"Do you think she will ever forgive us?"

"No, I don't," Rio answered honestly.

You sniffled. Her answer broke you but it was the truth.

No matter what, Agatha would never forgive you for what you did. You will always be considered a monster to her.

[jeonginsleftcheek]

Sweet Reunion

pairing: hwang hyunjin x afab!reader

genre: fluff, smut, high school crushes to lovers au

description: your best friend since high school is getting married, throwing a lavish wedding in a private resort on the bahamas. a week of having fun, drinking cocktails, eating nice food and enjoying the luxurious resort await for you. the only problem is, you don't have a plus one. your friend has an idea that just might light up some old forgotten flames.

word count: 14.4k

warnings: switch!reader and switch!hyunjin, multiple sex scenes, semi-public sex, unprotected p in v (wrap it up), smut with feelings, fingering, creampies, oral (f and m receiving), shower sex, lots of praise and pet names, reader and Hyunjin are in love fr, squirting, face fucking, brief foot job and foot massage (lmk if i missed something)

important: for people with thalassophobia there's a scene of a night swim in the ocean

a/n: reader is depicted as chubby and with tan skin but you can imagine yourself however you want to!

i wanted to write romantic and infatuated hyune, hope you enjoy!🫶🏻

also sorry if the ending seems rushed asjksls

~check out my: Masterlist

"Look how pretty they came out!"- your best friend Nicki practically vibrates with happiness as she hands you her wedding invitation, wrapped in a baby blue envelope, gold details etched into the expensive material.

"It's beautiful, Nicki."- you smile.

"Open it, open it!"- she almost knocks the table over with how jumpy her legs are.

You chuckle at her giddiness and carefully open up the sealed envelope. The paper inside is also nice and feels expensive under your fingers, and golden letters are engraved into it, inviting you to witness the happiest day for Nicki and Josh, who've been high school sweethearts and your best friends for years.

You were more than happy to be a part of their beautiful love story, but you can't lie and say you weren't at least a little bit jelaous. You were still single, a few of your relationships never too serious, never growing into something more. Coming home to an empty apartment wasn't horrible since you didn't mind being alone but sometimes you needed comfort and arms wrapped around you, someone to be there for you and tell you that feeling sad and lonely sometimes is okay and normal.

But, you didn't want to wallow in your loneliness and bring down Nicki, even though you were pretty sure almost nothing could bring her down in this moment, in fact, you felt like you have to hold onto her so she doesn't fly up into the sky like a helium balloon with how excited she is.

"They really came out beautiful. You always had an eye for aesthetic stuff like this."- you smile at your friend.

"Thank you. For everything, you know. You helped me a lot with the wedding, and in general. I'm happy to have you as my maid of honor and I wouldn't dream of choosing anyone else for that."- she says as she holds your hand.

"God damn it Nicki, don't make me cry now."- you chuckle squeezing her hand.

"Sorry, but you already know the both of us will be like waterworks on my wedding. Better to get a head start already, hm?"- she jokes and both of you laugh.

"Also, I know you were worried about your plus one and not wanting to be dateless at the wedding."- she adds after your fit of laughter. "But you don't have to worry anymore."

"What? What did you do?"- you narrow your eyes at her.

"Well... I might've invited Hyunjin to be your plus one."- she smirks.

"Hwang Hyunjin?! The Hwang Hyunjin from high school?"- you start freaking out immediately.

"You're still in contact, right?"- she asks.

"Well, we text sometimes for birthdays and Christmas, and like each other's posts on Insta. You do know I had the biggest crush on him, right?"

"I do, that's why I asked him."- your friend wiggles her eyebrows.

"And he's okay with that?"- you swallow, butterflies swarming in your stomach at the thought of Hyunjin, something you haven't felt for years.

"He sounded happy to me."- Nicki keeps smirking.

"You actually called him?"- you chuckle in disbelief.

"Josh and I still talk to him sometimes too. I was gonna invite him anyway. So why not as your plus one?"

"I will literally faint when I see him in person."- you say.

"Oh, I hope you don't because he's walking towards us right now."- your friend announces, waving as the door of the diner open.

"He- what?!"- you snap your head towards the sound and see Josh walking with Hyunjin, both of them laughing.

Your jaw collides with the floor as you stare at your high school crush, you can't believe that he looks even more beautiful than he did back then. You're suddenly self-aware, cursing Nicki in your mind for bringing him without telling you first because you didn't even put on any makeup and it's unfair that he looks so good effortlessly, like it's normal and casual to roll out of bed looking like a god. Nothing is normal and casual about that. You also hate your choice for an outfit, only wearing some stupid old t-shirt and a pair of jeans you deemed clean, running out of your apartment this morning to what you thought was just a coffee with your best friend.

"Oh, hello Hyunjin!"- Nicki stands up and hugs him, patting his back.

"Hi, darling."- Josh smiles and Nicki gets instant heart eyes, even after so many years they were still in love with each other like they've literally just met.

"Hi, baby."- she cooes at him as they peck each other's lips shortly.

You stand up awkwardly, ready to shake Hyunjin's hand but he smiles sweetly at you and pulls you into a hug.

"It's so nice to see you, y/n."- he says as he wraps his arms around you and you swear you've stopped functioning. You barely register lifting your arms up and returning the hug. Hyunjin smells so nice, and despite the cologne he wears you can smell that distinct scent of him that made you feel drunk whenever he got closer to you in high school.

It's like you're 16 again, stealing glances at your crush during class, hoping he'll say hello to you in the halls, hoping you'll sit next to him during lunch. The nights you spent daydreaming about holding his hand, kissing his lips, the diary you kept that's full of Hyunjin's name and little hearts around it, all the memories flood back to you so vividly and you feel giddy and embarassed as you lean back.

Hyunjin still wears the sweet smile he always does, and you can see the tips of his ears reddening as his eyes take you in.

"It's nice to see you too."- you manage, your voice almost breaking from nervousness.

"This feels like high school, doesn't it?"- Nicki claps excitedly as the four of you sit down.

"Except I don't have the embarassing bangs I thought were the coolest shit ever back then."- you sigh, your cheeks warming up under Hyunjin's gaze that hasn't left you since he walked in.

"I thought they were cute."- Hyunjin says and you chuckle, your heart fluttering.

"And I got rid of my braces. Those were a pain in the ass."- Nicki sighs.

You spend at least an hour reminscing together, about your teachers, the shenanigans you got into, the first time you got drunk, gossip about people you knew from back then and you can't believe just how much of those memories somehow involve Hyunjin.

You're thankful for your friends as they made your high school experience less hard and embarassing, and more fun and filled with positive memories you can always think back on with fondness.

"Well, you two feel free to stay here but Josh and I have some more wedding stuff to get to. So, I'll text you later y/n."- Nicki winks at you and you wish you could convey through your eyes just how panicked you are to be left alone with Hyunjin already.

You feel awkward when they leave, and as you look up at Hyunjin he suddenly seems shy too as his eyes flutter away and then back to you again multiple times, his cheeks rosy.

"So, we didn't really manage to catch up."- he starts. "What do you do?"- he asks.

"Oh, I'm a veterinarian."- you say and Hyunjin smiles.

"You always wanted that. I'm glad you made your dream come true. Although, I had no doubts that you wouldn't."- he says, looking at you fondly and you melt into the chair you're sitting on.

"Thank you, really."- your face is warm again. "What about you?"

"I'm a painter. And a photographer. Mostly doing comissions and sometimes events."- he says shyly, like he's cautious not to sound like he's bragging.

"Look at you! You also made your dreams come true."- you say, smiling at him.

"Eh, I'm far from that. I still need to make a name for myself. I wish to own a gallery one day too."- Hyunjin says.

"You're being modest. Not many artists can say they live from their art. Plus, I believe you'll make it. I always did."- you confess, your heart hammering in your chest.

"T-thanks for believing in me."- Hyunjin smiles sheepishly. The tension between the two of you feels tangible, like you can cut through it with a knife.

"Thanks for agreeing to be my plus one."- you chuckle embarassingly.

"Oh, well it's my pleasure."- Hyunjin shifts in his chair, a slight smirk playing on his lips.

This is going to be interesting.

-

Nicki calls you that afternoon excitedly asking for details of your "date" with Hyunjin.

You tell her it wasn't a date, and after you tell her what the two of you talked about you almost shriek loudly into the receiver when she informs you that Hyunjin and you would be sharing a suite at the resort.

Nicki invited around 200 guests to her wedding which you thought was too much, but it's not your place to comment on it. If she wants to throw a big lavish wedding, she should do what her heart desires. But only about 20 of the guests, including hers and Josh's immediate family and closest friends were invited to come a few days earlier and enjoy the pre-wedding activities and the luxurious resort fully.

This ofcourse includes you and your plus one, with whom you'd be sharing the suite.

"And you didn't tell me this earlier because?"- you pace around your living room.

"Because I knew you'd be freaking out."- she laughs.

"I'm not freaking out."- you say, trying to sound calm.

"Yes, you are."- Nicki chuckles.

"Yes, I am! You want me to basically live with Hyunjin for almost a week?!"

"Y/n, this is a great chance for igniting some old flames. Obviously everyone knows you two were head over heels for each other except the two of you. Which is so funny in retrospect. Like how you'd stare at Hyunjin and sigh dreamily. And then he would stare at you every time you looked away. We actually had bets on who'll make the first move."- Nicki tells you and you can't help the chuckle that escapes your lips at the silliness from high school.

"I guess all of you lost because neither of us made a move. I didn't think he ever saw me that way. He's you know... Hyunjin. And I'm me."- you sigh, sitting down on your couch.

"What is that even supposed to mean bestie? Don't start with the pity party because Hyunjin would literally kiss the ground you walk on even now. Didn't you see the way he was looking at you?"- Nicki says.

"Don't exaggerate! I did see it but maybe he was looking at me like that because he didn't see me in a long time and-"

"Y/n, face it. Hyunjin and you have some feelings left from high school that need to be explored. Don't feel nervous and trust me. As soon as we come to the beautiful resort, as soon as you drink your first cocktail and take a swim in the ocean, you'll be seeing things differently. You need to loosen up. We all do."- Nicki sighs happily.

"I hope you're right. I'm honestly kinda excited."

"You better be more than kinda excited for my wedding!"- Nicki threatens you jokingly.

"I'm beyond estatic for you."- you chuckle, shaking your head even though she can't see you.

-

You can't sleep the night before the flight to the Bahamas. You checked your suitcase like a hundred times, making sure you packed everything you'd need for the trip.

You decided to also pack some cute lingerie just in case and since it was the Bahamas and you were basically gonna let loose as your best friend said, you packed the skimpiest bathing suits and the shortest dresses you had. Hoping in your mind, Hyunjin would be the one to take them off of you.

You slap yourself internally, annoyed at how far you're already thinking about Hyunjin in all kind of unholy scenarios when the two of you had barely just begun hanging out again.

You toss and turn in bed in anticipation, unable to sleep almost all night, your alarm blasting at 6am. You arrive at the airport feeling like a truck ran you over and meet up with Nicki and Josh, and their family.

Hyunjin joined you not too long after you came and again he looked like a model for a luxury brand who just woke up looking perfect. You felt a bit embarassed but what was making you even more nervous is that he hasn't taken his eyes off you yet again.

You made small talk while waiting for the plane, like there wasn't a break in your communication since high school ended. Being next to Hyunjin and talking to him felt so natural and weirdly normal.

Sitting in the plane next to Nicki and a few other close friends, you listened to music and daydreamed about all the possible romantic scenarios that could happen between you and your high school crush.

You were ready for almost anything.

-

As soon as you leave the airport and arrive at the resort, you already start feeling like another person. The air is different, better, more fresh. Everything looks more vibrant than the dull city and the resort looks expensive as fuck and you feel excited to be at a place like that, knowing that even with your decent pay you could never afford something like this, especially for a huge wedding.

Not that you wanted a huge wedding like your friend did, on the contrary, you'd rather have a small and intimate ceremony with just a few people who matter the most to you.

You scoff at yourself, thinking about a wedding when you can't even have a serious relationship.

"What is it?"- Hyunjin appears next to you with a smile and you shake your head quickly, cheeks heating up from how close to you he's standing, his shoulder brushing yours.

"Nothing, just thinking how expensive this place looks."

"Probably costs an arm and a leg."- Hyunjin nods, looking around.

The staff welcomes you, taking your luggage and bringing it to your rooms, with Nicki and Josh at the front, probably making sure that everything is okay with the reservations.

"Your suite is number 14."- Nicki strides towards you with a keycard, a smirk on her face as she looks between you and Hyunjin.

"Thanks."- you chuckle at her expression as you grab the keycard.

"We're gonna have so much fun! We should all freshen up and then meet up for lunch."- Nicki smiles at you and Hyunjin, and your other friends who are all couples.

Everyone agrees to meet up in the lobby in an hour and you make your way to the suite with Hyunjin.

The walk is comfortably silent but your heart is beating loudly in your ears. Being alone with Hyunjin and a bed brings all kinds of dirty thoughts to your mind.

As soon as you walk in, both you and Hyunjin gasp. The suite isn't just a room, it's like a small apartment. There's a huge bathroom, kitchen, living room, balcony and a jacuzzi in the yard.

"This is insane."- you whisper in disbelief.

"I've always wanted to go to a place like this."- Hyunjin admits.

"Me too, honestly. Like I'm not that fancy as a person but just sometimes you wanna drink expensive champagne and sit in a jacuzzi, you know?"- you say and Hyunjin laughs.

"Ah, to be rich and without worries."- he sighs dramatically as you two look around, finding your luggage neatly placed next to the closet in the bedroom.

"Well, we can pretend we're that while were here."- you say and Hyunjin agrees with you.

Both of you start unpacking as you glance at the bed, it's a decent size to where both of you would fit and it makes something stir in your gut. Hyunjin notices you staring at the bed.

"If you're uncomfortable, I will sleep on the couch, I really don't mind."- he smiles at you.

"What? No way, I'll sleep on the couch."- you say and he snorts.

"There's no way I'd let you do that. I wouldn't be able to sleep knowing you're cramped on that couch, no matter how soft it looks."- he says and you feel your face heating up again.

You can't believe the words that come out of your mouth next.

"We can share the bed."

Hyunjin looks surprised, his eyes widdening and lips falling open silently as he tries to answer. His cheeks are pink as he smiles.

"Alright. If you're okay with that, I'm okay with it too."- he says.

Both of you continue unpacking and talking and Hyunjin insists you take a shower first while he waits like the gentleman he is.

You grab your shower stuff and a change of clothes and head for the bathroom.

As soon as you walk into the huge shower, you're confused. The shower looks more like a spaceship with buttons you don't understand, it's fancier than any shower you ever used you have no idea how to turn it on.

You play on luck and press a button, making hot water spray over you and you shriek as it burns your skin, quickly turning it off by pressing the same button.

"Y/n, are you okay?!"- you hear Hyunjin's muffled voice on the other side of the door.

"Ugh, yeah, just a sec!"- you call out, walking out of the shower and grabbing the robe that the resort staff left in the bathroom.

You quickly put it on, tying it and trying to cover up as much as you can before you open the door.

Hyunjin's face becomes deeply red as he gives you the elevator eyes, taking your appearance in.

"This is embarassing but I don't know how to turn on that shower."- you say quietly as Hyunjin stands there, catching flies with his mouth open, eyes lingering on your cleavage.

"Oh. I'll- I'll check it out."- he says and you step aside, letting him come in.

It's awkward as he fiddles with the buttons while you peer at what he's doing, standing behind him on your tippy toes.

He presses a few buttons and both of you scream as soon as the water starts spraying from the ceiling, bursting out in laughter the moment you lock eyes with each other.

"This is a shower running on quantum physics."- Hyunjin says as he fiddles with the buttons again. "But I think I get it."- he finally manages to adjust the water.

You step in closer and Hyunjin explains which buttons he pressed and how to control the temperature.

"Thank you."- you say, embarassment seeping into you once again.

"Yeah, no problem. I'll... leave you to it."- he steps out, and you try to calm your breathing, with the prospect of having Hyunjin in the shower with you dancing around in your mind.

The shower is big enough to fit two people, especially if they wanna do certain activities. You scold yourself as you do your skincare, thinking that you must be really touch deprived to be this horny. Or maybe it's just Hyunjin's fault, for looking that good and being so sweet.

-

By the time lunch comes around, you are so hungry you can barely think.

You meet up with Nicki and Josh on the terrace of one of the resort's restaurants, and the view is simply breathtaking.

The ocean kissing the sand looks alluring and it invites you to dive in and find out all the secrets it hides. You briefly forget about your call to the ocean as Hyunjin brings out your chair and smiles cutely at you, his dimples showing as he looks at you through his sunglasses.

"Thanks."- you mutter and sit down.

Two other couples join you and everyone starts conversing about how beautiful the resort is. Nicki asks about the rooms and you tell her about the confusing shower to which she laughs, saying that it's some new technology and that she would love to have a shower like that installed at home.

You order your food, ready to even eat the plate with how your stomach is growling.

"So, how long have you and Hyunjin been together?"- Sophia, Nicki's friend from work, asks you as you eat the delicious food and you almost choke on the bite in your mouth.

"W-were not together. Were just... friends."- you say hesitantly, unable to look at Hyunjin, missing the look of embarassment and disappointment on his face.

"Oh, sorry."- Sophia makes an awkward face.

"Friends. For now."- Nicki smirks.

"Nicki!"- you smack her arm and she laughs like she just said the funniest joke.

Josh reads the awkwardness between you and Hyunjin and quickly changes the theme to all the things the resort offers.

You steal a glance at Hyujin and he seems to be contemplating something, deep in thought as he stares at the ocean. You wonder if it calls to him too.

"I wanna swim in the ocean."- Hyunjin says suddenly, like he can read your mind.

"Me too."- you agree immediately and he looks at you like he didn't realize he said that out loud.

"We should all go swim-" - Sophia starts but Nicki kicks her under the table making her gasp.

"No, no. There's a thing I wanna show you, Soph. You know."- Nicki nods towards the two of you as you talk quietly and Sophia realizes Nicki's plans.

"Oh. Yeah, I know."- she nods quickly.

-

"So, should we go to the beach?"- you ask Hyunjin after you get back to your room from the lunch, feeling a pleasant buzz from the good food and a few drinks you had.

"I was thinking more of a night swim."- he smiles mischieviously.

"A night swim? Isn't that kinda scary?"- you ask.

"I think it's exciting."- he says, looking at your every move as you take the bottle of wine in the kitchen and take out two glasses.

"Have you ever tried it?"- you ask him, struggling to open the wine.

"A few times. You?"- Hyunjin asks as he makes his way towards you.

"No, never."

"Do you want to?"- Hyunjin's breath hits the back of your neck as he suddenly appears behind you.

Shivers run down your spine as his arms wrap around you but his hands reach for the wine bottle you're holding.

"Let me help."- he whispers.

"I want to. I mean go on a night swim. But, I'd like to try the jacuzzi first."- you swallow as Hyunjin manages to open up the bottle with a pop.

"Sure, I'd like that too."- he smiles as he steps away from you, like he wasn't just all up in your private space leaving you hot and bothered. "We can do whatever we want to, really."- he adds, and you look at him trying to read his mind but all you get is him looking at you warmly, like you're the most beautiful and precious thing he's ever seen, you can even swear there's a twinkle in his eyes as he smiles at you.

Is he flirting with you?

You're sure at this point that you're feeding into your delusions and you turn around to pour two wine glasses.

"Here. To Nicki and Josh."- you say and Hyunjin chuckles as he takes the glass from your hand.

"To Nicki and Josh."-your glasses clink together. "And to us."- he adds and your chest flutters.

"To... us."- you nod and both of you take a sip.

-

The sun is just starting to set as Hyujin lowers himself into the jacuzzi, waiting for you to join him.

You're in the bathroom, trying on your third bathing suit and checking yourself out in the mirror.

You're usually not this self-aware but you saw how toned and lean Hyunjin's body is and looking at your slightly chubby figure, you wonder if he'll like the way you look. You always said you'd be damned if you ever let a man's opinion on your body change the way you see yourself but Hyunjin looks at you with such intensity that you're scared he will see all the flaws clearly.

Ultimately, you decide on the first one, a white bathing suit with gold details that compliments your tan skin, and you finally gather the courage to actually walk out of the bathroom. As soon as you step out into the private yard, Hyunjin looks up at you. You catch the quiet gasp that leaves his lips, redness spreading on his cheeks all the way to the tips of his ears and down his neck. He barely conceals the smile that breaks out on his face.

"I like your bathing suit."- he says as you step into the jacuzzi slowly, and he mentally slaps himself for saying that instead of telling you that you look like the most beautiful goddess he has ever seen.

"T-thank you."- you chuckle as you quickly sit down into the water. Hyunjin turns away from you, a smile still playing on his lips as he grabs your wine glass from before and passes it to you.

For a few moments, all that can be heard is the sounds of the swirling water in the jacuzzi and the light jazz that Hyunjin probably put on coming from the room, as the two of you admire the orange and pink hues painting the sky above the ocean.

"So, do you still dance?"- you ask him, after taking a few sips of the wine.

"Oh yeah, in my free time. What about you? You used to like dancing too."- Hyunjin tilts his head at you.

"I did. I mean, I do like it, I just don't have that much time anymore. Plus, I wasn't really good."

"That's such a lie!"- Hyunjin chuckles. "You're a great dancer. Almost as good as me."- he jokes with a smirk.

"Yeah, almost."- you chuckle with him.

"So, what takes up all your time except work?"- Hyunjin asks, and you notice he's sitting closer to you now.

"I do volunteer work too, I help out at animal shelters and such. It's hard for me to resist helping animals in need. I don't have the heart to turn the blind eye."

"That's really sweet of you."- Hyunjin smiles. "So, basically you work all the time."- he chuckles. "No significant other?"

"If there was, they'd be here with me now."- you say and feel Hyunjin's thigh slightly press against yours under the water, making your core throb immediately. "W-what about you?"

"Still waiting for the one."- he smiles at you, his arm sneaking behind your upper back.

"Forever the romantic soul, huh?"- you chuckle nervously, he's so close to you.

"Do you believe in love?"- his eyes roam all over your face like he's analyzing it and it's hard to focus and not be on edge when you can literally count his eyelashes and when he's asking questions like that.

"Ofcourse I do. Honestly, I'm just a little disappointed with love right now."- you sigh.

"Bad experiences?"- he asks.

"More so bland than bad."- you answer, and Hyunjin goes silent for a few moments.

The sun has almost completely gone down, leaving your faces illuminated by the fairy lights in the garden.

"You know... I have something to confess."- Hyunjin says suddenly, his knee resting on yours and he's even closer now.

"Y-yeah?"- your voice trembles.

"I had the biggest crush on you in high school."- Hyunjin says, his eyes softening.

Your brain short circuits as you try to process what he just said. The biggest crush of your life, the one you pined over for years, the most beautiful and sweet man you've ever met felt the same way about you?

"Y/n?"- Hyunjin says unsurely as you stay quiet.

"Oh, sorry. I didn't... I never knew you felt the same way as me."- you accidentally say and Hyunjin looks at you, before he realizes what you said and his eyes widden as he gasps.

"You had a crush on me too?!"- he asks, seemingly excited.

"Come on, Hyun. Everyone had a crush on you in high school. People called you Prince. It's not exactly news."- you chuckle awkwardly, trying to ignore the way your heart is beating fast.

"I don't care about everyone. I care about you."- he says, his cheeks rosy. "I never thought you'd feel the same though."

"Me either. Actually, Nicki told me that everyone knew. And that they made bets on which one of us will make the first move."- you chuckle and Hyunjin laughs.

"Our friends really are something."- he says. He looks like he's about to say something again but you feel so nervous that you get up abruptly.

"I feel like I'll melt into the water if I keep sitting in the hot tub. I think I'm gonna take a shower and go to bed. I need to catch up on some sleep."- you talk quickly as Hyunjin looks at you, the look on his face slightly confused and a little bit dejected.

You basically run away from him and lock yourself in the bathroom. You try to catch your breath first, thinking what the fuck just happened in there?

Hyunjin's confession coupled with his body so close to yours intoxicated you more than the expensive wine ever could. You needed a cold shower.

-

You leave the bathroom on your tippy toes, dressed in your night gown and ready for bed.

You hope you can avoid Hyunjin at least for tonight, while you gather courage to face him again tomorrow and your plan is to get into bed and act like you're asleep if he asks you something or tries to talk to you.

You know it's childish but the figurative butterflies in your stomach are making you nauseous each time Hyunjin smiles at you.

"I'll go get ready for bed."- your plan is interrupted as Hyunjin appears seemingly from out of nowhere, grabbing his clothes.

You sigh and sit in bed, grabbing your phone and checking your messages. You see that Nicki had texted you asking how's it going with your 'lover' and if you're getting any 'action'.

You snort at your phone, quickly typing out an answer that he isn't your lover and that there is no action whatsoever.

You toss your phone aside and lay down, your muscles instantly relaxing into the bed, and you think how it's definitely the most comfortable bed you've ever touched.

You hear Hyunjin shuffling towards the room and he walks in wearing only his boxers, his hair damp from the shower and you swear your heart skips a beat or two.

"I'm actually feeling tired now. I think the plane and change of scenery are finally catching up to me."- Hyunjin talks as he gets under the covers and you wonder why this feels so casual like it happens every single night, like you're a couple that has been sleeping next to each other for years.

"Yeah. I'm barely awake."- you answer, your eyelids becoming heavy despite the fact that Hyunjin is laying next to you half naked and you can feel the heat radiating off of his body, inviting you closer to him, making you wish you could melt into his arms.

"I wanted to show you some of my recent art but we can save that for tomorrow. I'd also like for us to continue our talk."- he whispers the last sentence.

"What talk?"- you ask, already falling asleep.

"About our feelings."- you think you hear him say, but you can't fight the sleep anymore.

-

There is an arm around you. There is an arm around you.

Your eyes snap open and trail down towards your waist.

There is an arm around it, holding you tightly and there is a warm body attached to your backside.

You panic and then you remember where you are and who you're with and then you panic even more.

"Hyun?"- you whisper, trying to look back at him. "Hyunjin?"- you try again.

"Mmh?"- his voice is muffled, half of his face smushed into your pillow.

"I think Nicki wanted to see us for brunch or something."- you say awkwardly.

"Mm yeah, I'm awake."- he says, moving away and then you hear him gasp. "Oh my god, I am so sorry for getting all into your space and practically sleeping on you."- his face is red when you turn to look at him finally, and he looks even more embarassed than you are.

"I'm used to hugging my pillow every night."- he says sheepishly and you chuckle, deciding to tease him.

"Am I the equivalent to your pillow? Is that what you're saying?"- you smirk.

"No, no! You're way better than a pillow. I mean... you know what I mean... Nevermind, I'm gonna go get dressed."- Hyunjin rambles as he gets up clumsily, almost tripping over nothing as you stare at him and chuckle under your breath.

You can't believe you actually have that effect on him, and you also can't believe he looks so good when he just wakes up. It's like his lips look even more pouty than usual and you wish you could kiss those pretty lips until they're bruising.

And with the morning sun rays peeking through the window, you can see Hyunjin in all his glory and the sight makes your mouth water.

He grabs some clothes and you quickly look away as he turns around, busying yourself with your phone. There are a few texts from Nicki asking if you're up, and to come down to the restaurant you ate yesterday at for brunch. You quickly text her that you'll be there soon as the two of you get ready.

-

You didn't expect for Nicki to drag you and her other friends away from the guys claiming the girls need to go shopping and have some fun on their own. You're actually thankful for that because with the way your heart's beating fast the whole time Hyunjin is near you, you think you're seriously gonna have a heart attack.

"So, tell me, what happened last night with Hyunjin?"- she lowers her voice as she hooks her arm with yours, while you walk through the mall.

"Nothing happened. We talked."- you shrug.

"Boo! Boring! Give me some juicy details."- she shoves you a little and you laugh, shoving her back playfully.

"Well, we sat in the hot tub. Like real close."- you say and Nicki gasps. "And then Hyunjin told me he had the biggest crush on me in high school."

"Y/n!!! That is huge! I knew it, oh my god! What did you do?"- Nicki asks excitedly and you chuckle at her.

"I basically ran away and went to sleep."

She shakes her head looking like a disappointed mother as she narrows her eyes at you.

"You should've kissed him."

"Yeah, right."- you scoff.

"I'm telling you, don't miss out on a good thing."

-

You had a fun time with the girls, getting to know some of Nicki's other friends more, ofcourse with a cocktail or two in your hands because who cares, you're practically on vacation.

But your mind wanders to Hyunjin the whole time and you can't wait to be alone with him again.

He texts you telling you he came back to your shared room and asking if you're hungry to which you answer that you're starving. It's somewhere around dinner time as you walk into the suite, leaving the bags from your shopping trip in the living room.

A nice smell spreads from the kitchen making your stomach growl as you walk towards it.

You didn't expect to see Hyunjin in an apron, actually making dinner.

"Oh hey, you're back just in time. Dinner's almost done."- he turns towards you and smiles.

Your heart flutters when you see that the table is set, and there's flowers in the middle of it and a few candles and it all looks so romantic.

"I hope you like what I made. I'm not the best cook but I tried. I know we could go to any expensive restaurant here but honestly, I wanted it to be just the two of us."- Hyunjin rambles.

"Oh, it already smells really nice. I'm sure it'll be delicious."- you say, finally snapping out of your trance as you come closer to him. "Thank you."

"It's my pleasure."

The food is actually delicious, and the expensive wine adds to it, and the fact that Hyunjin cooked for you just makes everything much better and tastier. You both share how you spent the afternoon, agreeing that this is probably the most relaxed you've ever felt in your life.

Hyunjin remembers the night swim you promised him and you glance out the window at the almost completely dark sky.

"Let's do it."

Both of you get ready for the beach, giggling like little kids as you make your way towards it. You feel giddy and adventurous, like you're having an out of body experience cause there is no way you would do something like this usually.

You find a quiet part of the beach and sit down on your towels first, Hyunjin sitting close to you again, leaning on his arm that's placed behind your back.

He turns towards you and you can barely make out his features in the almost complete darkness while his eyes roam all over your face illuminated by the distant lights of a beach bar.

"I have to say, I'm so happy to be here with you. I'm happy that Nicki's and Josh's wedding brought us together again."- Hyunjin says quietly and you swallow as butterflies rise up to your throat.

"Me too."- you whisper.

"You have no idea how many times I wanted to just dm you on Insta and ask you to meet up."- he confesses.

"Really?"- you chuckle.

"Yeah. But I always chickened out, I don't know why. I guess it's because of the same reason I never asked you out in high school."

"Which is?"

"Which is that I always thought you could do better than me."- Hyunjin sighs and you can't help the scoff that leaves your lips. The Hwang Hyunjin was insecure next to you? What dimension did you fall into?

"That's absurd. I thought the same thing for you though."- you add and he laughs.

"We were dumb, both of us. But I hope we've grown and we know better now, hm?"- Hyunjin asks, his hand resting on your lower back, his eyes landing on your lips as he slowly leans in closer.

"I would hope so too."- your voice trembles as his leg presses against yours.

"Can I kiss you?"- he asks and you don't even answer verbally, you close the gap and your lips land on his.

He reciprocates immediately, his hand wrapping around you as yours tangles in his hair. Kissing his soft lips feels even better than you could ever imagine. You can't believe you're finally kissing your high school love, you feel like you're actually floating on clouds and also exploding at the same time.

Hyunjin's kiss is slow, purposeful and sensual until he gets drunk on you and then his kisses become more passionate and desperate, tongue prodding at your mouth. Your lips part to let him in, his free hand is on your cheek now as he angles your head to push his tongue in deeper and explore your mouth. You grip at his arm and his hair and Hyunjin grunts into you, the sound going straight down to your core.

"H-Hyunjin..."- you whisper as you part for air. He chuckles and then full on laughs as he leans his forehead on yours.

"You've no idea how long I wanted to do that."- he licks his lips.

"Same."- you say and he leans back and smirks.

"How about that night swim, hm?"- he wiggles his eyebrows as he takes off his t-shirt. You gulp and look around before taking your dress off.

You're in your bathing suit, but Hyunjin doesn't stop at his shirt. His fingers hook into his swim trunks as he stands up and slides them down, his dick in front of your face and your body feels hot as you gasp and turn away.

"W-what are you doing?"- you almost shriek and Hyunjin laughs.

"Swimming naked. Your turn."- he says and you look up at him. "I mean, don't feel pressured, you don't have to if you feel uncomfortable."

"I want to."- you bite your lip, your hands behind your back as you untie your bathing suit, letting it fall down. Your breasts spill out of it and Hyunjin's eyes are full of lust as he stares at them, wishing he could bury his face between them in that moment. You stand up and slide your panties down, now completely naked in front of Hyunjin.

Your heart hammers in your chest as he looks at you and you feel a little self-conscious.

"You're beautiful."- he smiles sincerely and you think you're gonna have that heart attack right about now.

"So are you."- you say and Hyunjin laughs sweetly as he grabs your hand, fingers intertwining with yours.

"Are you ready?"- he asks.

"I'm a little scared."- you say as you look at the dark ocean in front of you.

"I'll keep you safe, darling."- Hyunjin looks at you softly.

"Okay."- you say and the two of you get into the water, both of you screaming because it's cold but you're already in it so you wanna go all the way.

"Oh my god!"- you shriek as Hyunjin laughs and screams at the same time, his arms flapping around funnily.

"It's cold as fuck!"- you say.

"We'll warm up."- he swims closer to you, winking at you and you roll your eyes at him playfully.

"Something- something's touching my leg."- Hyunjin's serious suddenly and you panic a little.

"Don't joke around."- you warn him but he shakes his head.

"I'm not, I can feel something-" - he says and then screams as something tugs on his leg, almost pulling him under water.

"Hyunjin!"- you panic, trying to swim closer to him as he flaps around.

You're scared until you come close to him and he suddenly stops the dramatic flapping and gives you a dumb smirk.

"There's nothing, I was joking."- he says calmly and you smack his shoulder.

"You asshole! I was really scared for a sec! Why would you do that?"- you whine at him and he pouts at you, arms wrapping around your waist as he pulls you into his body.

"I'm sorry, I just wanted to joke around a little. I wont do that again, I promise. I'll make it up to you, please don't be mad."- he continues pouting as you try to ignore him, even though your arms are wrapped around his shoulders.

"Start making up for it now and I'll think about forgiving you."- you smirk and Hyunjin presses himself closer to you, your breasts pressed against his chest. He leans in and you make out in the water, forgetting about the cold and the fact that someone could catch you in that moment. You don't care about any of that, you only care about Hyunjin's arms around you and his tongue licking into your mouth.

"Let's get out of here."- you smirk and both of you swim back to the beach and get out of the water, still holding hands.

You sit on your towel and Hyunjin grabs his, wrapping it around the both of you. You start kissing immediately, feeling like you're finally making up for all the years of pining over each other.

Your limbs tangle together, hands roaming all over each other's bodies and both of you heat up again after cooling down in the water. Hyunjin's hands come up to cup your breasts and you moan into his mouth as he runs his thumbs on your perky nipples.

"Hyun..."- you moan, arching into his touch.

"I want you."- he whispers on your lips.

"Here?"- you giggle, caressing the back of his neck.

"Mhm. Here. I can't wait anymore."- he whines.

"Ah, me either. I want you too."- you say, your hands tangling in his wet hair.

"I have a condom in my pocket somewhere."- he tries to find his pants but you grab his hand.

"I want to feel you completely."- you say, your voice low as you look at him with eyes full of lust.

"Fuck... Okay darling, whatever you want."- Hyunjin says, his pupils blown.

He can't wait anymore as he lays you down, plump lips attaching to your neck, his hands massaging your breasts and you feel arousal drip between your legs, you need him more than you've needed anything in your life ever.

He bites down into your skin, sucking on it and you moan, gripping his bicep. Your hand slides to his wrist and you guide his hand between your legs.

"Touch me, please."- you whimper.

"Gladly."- Hyunjin whispers, his fingers on your clit immediately, massaging the bundle of nerves in circles as he kisses you again, his tongue playing with yours. He swallows every moan you release, your hips lifting up into his touch as he runs his fingers over your wet folds.

"So wet. All this for me?"- he asks as he leans back and looks at you, caressing your hair.

"Only for you."- you answer and he presses two of his fingers on your entrance, silently asking for permission as he looks into your eyes. You nod and he bites on his lip, slowly pushing his digits into you.

"Ah!"- you moan, nails digging into the towel below you as he pushes in deeply, curling his fingers to find that gummy spot that drives you crazy.

You spread your legs for him, his hand speeding up, the tips of his fingers hitting that sweet spot over and over again making you see stars. He scissors his fingers inside you, the wet sounds of your arousal melting into the sound of the waves crashing together in front of your heated bodies.

You spill your juices over his fingers as you arch you back and grip his wrist, pushing him deeper into you as you ride out your orgasm.

"Fuck, you're so hot babygirl."- Hyunjin groans before pulling his fingers out of you and putting them in his mouth.

"Mm."- he moans around them. "Taste so sweet."

"Please Hyun, I need you."- you whimper, grabbing at him and pulling him closer to you.

"You don't have to beg, sweet girl. I'll give you anything you want."- he smirks at you, stroking his cock before pushing between your folds slowly, his eyes staring into yours intensely.

You moan loudly, the stretch is delicious as he fills you up, sliding himself slowly into you so you feel every inch of his hard cock opening up your pussy.

"Mm you're so tight."- Hyunjin moans into your ear as he leans down closer to you, his hands resting on your hips. "Feels so good to finally be inside you."

"Ah, Hyun- move, please."- you whine, burning up for him and him only.

He starts slowly fucking into you as you wrap your legs and arms around him bringing him even closer to you, wanting your bodies to melt into each other like the sea foam melting over the sand. Everything disappears around you except the ocean and Hyunjin. He's deep inside you, his tip kissing your cervix repeatedly as your pussy stretches to take him perfectly, like it was made just for his cock. And as you rock together, you realize you love him, you've loved him for years and even though you never had a taste of him before tonight, none of the people you tasted before made you this hungry for them. No one could compare to Hyunjin, nothing could compare to the feelings running deep inside you, deeper than the dark ocean murmuring before you.

"Y/n, are you okay? Am I hurting you?!"- Hyunjin looks panicked and just then you feel the tears sliding down your cheeks.

"No, no. You're perfect."- you say and his eyes soften as he slowly starts moving his hips again.

"Then what's wrong, darling?"- he asks.

"I... I love you, Hyunjin."- you say with all your heart and Hyunjin practically melts, his face breaking into the happiest smile you've ever seen.

"I love you too, y/n. I've loved you for years. Don't cry, my darling."- he wipes your tears away.

"Make me yours, Hyunjin. Fuck me and make me yours."- you plead as you grab onto him desperately and he grips your hips, eyes rolling back as he starts fucking you faster.

The feeling of his cock splitting you apart, his hips slapping into yours, your mixed breaths and moans makes the sea inside you rise, the waves crashing over you as your hearts wild inside your chests, the ocean wilding together with the two of you, almost tickling at your feet.

"I'll make you mine, darling. Only mine."- Hyunjin groans, one of his hands on your breast and his mouth busy with your nipple as he fucks his cock into you harshly. You can't take anymore and with the crashing wave you snap and explode, squirting on his pulsating cock.

"Mm Hyunjin!"- you moan his name as he fucks you through your high, hips becoming sloppier before he twitches inside you, and then paints your insides with his warm cum, pushing as deep as he can to make you only his.

"Wow."- he breathes hard, leaning his forehead on your shoulder as you wrap your arms around him and hold him tightly.

"Wow indeed."- you say and he lifts his head up, giving you the cutest smile that reaches his eyes.

"I love you."- he whispers.

"I love you."- you whisper back and he pecks your lips gently, sweetly.

"Let's get out of here before we freeze our asses off."- you add and he chuckles, kissing your forehead.

-

"I really needed that warm shower."- you shiver under the blanket that Hyunjin found in the wardrobe.

"Same."- he says, sliding under the cover with you. "Are you still cold?"

"Mhm."- you nod.

"Come here, we'll warm each other up."- he says as he opens his arms and you roll into his embrace lazily making him giggle. You wrap around each other, limbs and hearts tangled together as you breathe each other in.

"I feel like I'm in high school."- you giggle, your fingers playing with the hair on the nape of his neck. His hand rests on your waist as he caresses you gently.

"Yeah, like were sneaking around from our parents after our curfew."- Hyunjin chuckles. "Oh, would you let me sketch you? Or maybe paint you even?"- he asks, his hand coming up to caress your cheek.

"You brought your supplies with you?"- you ask.

"I don't go anywhere without them. Just in case inspiration hits, you know?"- he smiles, wiggling his eyebrows.

"Okay, I'll be your inspiration then."- you smirk and lean in to kiss his soft lips.

"Remind me... to show you... some art tomorrow."- Hyunjin mumbles between kisses.

"Mhm."- you mutter against his lips, unable to detach yourself away from him. You wish you could stay like this forever, close to your Hyunjin, your lips attached to his like he was giving you air.

You have no idea how long you kissed each other like that before the two of you fell asleep, holding each other as close as you could.

-

The sunlight is almost blinding as it comes through the window, the warmness of it and of your lover's body so close to yours make you wanna spend the whole day in bed, wrapped in the blanket and wrapped up in Hyunjin.

His face is smushed into your chest, his arm and leg around you holding you tightly. You chuckle quietly, lips pressed to his forehead as you comb your fingers through his soft hair.

"Mm."- he mutters, nuzzling between your breasts.

"You having fun there?"- you poke at him and he chuckles quietly before rubbing his face on your skin gently.

"I don't wanna move."- his voice is slightly muffled and you giggle, knuckles brushing his cheek.

"Me either but we kinda have to get up."- you say.

"Says who?"- Hyunjin mumbles, leaving little kisses on the valley of your breast.

"Nicki. She wants us girls to go to the beach and then have a spa day."- Hyunjin groans at that, holding you tighter.

"So, you're leaving me again?"- he finally looks up at you and you chuckle at his squinty eyes and pouty lips.

"You'll have me later again."- you smirk.

"Okay, deal."- he nods, pouting at you cutely like he's begging for a kiss. You lean in, still smirking, so close to his lips but you stop there, waiting for him to react to your teasing.

Hyunjin whines and opens his eyes.

"Kiss me."- he pouts again and you chuckle, pressing your lips on his, both of you melting into each other instantly.

"I'll miss you until later."- Hyunjin whispers and your heart flutters as he caresses you everywhere he can reach, his lips on your skin.

"I'll miss you too."

-

"You what?!"- Nicki screams when you tell her the details of last night.

"Lower your voice, please."- you smack her arm as you look around the beach.

"You fucked on this beach?! You guys are more adventurous than I thought."- she wiggles her eyebrows with a sly smirk, pushing you playfully.

"We couldn't wait to get to our room so..."- you smirk and she almost screams again, both of you giggling like crazy.

"What else?"- she asks.

You thought about telling her how you've already confessed love to each other, but for some reason that felt so intimate to you that for now you wanted to keep that between you and Hyunjin.

You told her some other details and Nicki was estatic for you, as happy as you are for her and Josh. You talked about the bachelorette and the wedding, Nicki being so excited about all of it that she was practically walking on water.

You had a fun time actually swimming during the day, when you can see how clear the ocean is, the sun reflecting off of the water making everything look a hundred times more special and wondrous.

After the beach, you and the girls hit the spa, needing a self-care day and you tried all the different massages you had no idea even existed.

Feeling extraordinarily relaxed after the spa and yummy lunch, you were basically ready for a nap.

As you walk back into your suite, you hear some faint music coming from the balcony.

You follow the sound and peek out of the door, Hyunjin's sitting on one of the chairs, a sketchbook in his hands as he draws.

You lean on the door frame, staring at him fondly as his hand glides expertly over the rough paper.

"You can admire me from afar, but I think you'd like me better up front."- he smirks, eyes not leaving the sketch he's working on.

"Haha, very funny, Prince."- you say mockingly and he chuckles, looking up at you.

"I mean it, pretty. Come closer."- he wiggles his finger at you, you roll your eyes playfully but make your way to him.

"Closer."- he tugs on your arm gently as you stand in front of him.

"A little bit closer."- he adds as you start leaning in.

You smirk and tease him, your hands coming up to cup his cheeks.

"Almost there."- he whispers, your lips close to his and you give in and kiss him with a smile on your lips. His free hand comes up to hold the back of your neck as he deepens the kiss, breathing you in like you're his oxygen.

"What are you sketching?"- you ask when you part.

"I was sketching the sky but now that you're here, I'd like to sketch you."- he smiles.

"Alright."- you nod, sitting down on the other chair. Hyunjin pours you some lemonade, flipping his page as he gets back into his drawing.

You talk about anything and everything, he lets you look through his other sketchbooks and you admire how far he's come with his work. The drawings and paintings are more intricate, more heavy and emotional, deeper than the doodles he made in high school.

He seems proud of his work but also bashful, the paintings bare the artists soul to the world after all.

"Here."- Hyunjin gives you the sketchbook so you can look at his sketch of you.

"Oh wow, you made me so beautiful."- you say and he laughs sweetly.

"I draw what I see."- he smiles.

"Stop that."- you say embarassingly, your cheeks heating up.

"Never."- Hyunjin smirks and you shake your head at him.

"No, but really, all of your work is so beautiful. You really deserve to have it hung in a gallery so the whole world can admire it."- you say and Hyunjin's cheeks are pink as he leans towards you, his hands resting on your thighs.

"You're so sweet, you know that?"- his eyes fill with something you recognize as desire, the same look he gave you on the beach last night.

The nap you needed is long forgotten as Hyunjin starts massaging your bare thighs.

"Let's get inside."- you whisper and he smirks.

Teeth clashing and fingers digging into your skin, you clumsily make your way to the bed, kissing and bumping into furniture on the way.

Your hands slide under Hyunjin's shirt and you explore his waist and abs, fingers coming up to play with his nipples, your lips attaching to his neck. He groans, gripping at your dress as you suck on his skin, just below his ear.

"Mm, darling."- he moans and you slide his shirt up, signaling him to lift up his arms so you can take it off. You throw it somewhere on the side and push Hyunjin down on the bed.

He falls with a thud and a giggle, his face red as he looks at you like you're the sun itself.

You straddle him, leaning down to attach your lips on his skin again, worship his beautiful body as you kiss him everywhere you can reach, the sweet scent of him filling up your nose and taking over your brain.

Little grunts and moans leave Hyunjin's pink plump lips and you keep sliding lower, your fingers hooking into his pants as you kiss his abs.

He looks down at you with lust, lifting his hips off the bed and you slide his pants and boxers down, throwing them aside carelessly too.

Your hand wraps around his length, his pretty pink tip glistening with precum and you lean in and lick at it, making Hyunjin's eyes roll in the back of his head.

"B-baby..."- he whines quietly, legs spreading subtly and you smirk, wrapping your lips around him, your tongue playing with the sensitive underside.

Your hand is still wrapped around the base of his cock as you keep teasing him, moving slowly and only concentrating on his tip.

"Darling, more, please!"- Hyunjin whines, pushing his hips towards your face desperately and you oblige, gripping his hips to hold him still as you slowly slide down to take more of him.

"Mm, fuck!"- he whimpers as you start bobbing your head up and down, your hand working what doesn't fit in your mouth, your other hand fondling his balls, squeezing them gently.

Pretty moans and grunts keep spilling out of his lips as he struggles not to fuck up into your mouth harshly. You keep speeding up and trying to take as much of him as you can, you eyes watering when he almost hits the back of your throat, making you gag.

"Fuck, darling you look so pretty like that."- Hyunjin moans as you give it your all, sucking on his dick like it's the tastiest lollipop ever.

Hyunjin buzzes with arousal, legs shaking as his fingers tangle into your hair. You moan around him, sending vibrations through his cock. Hyunjin looks down at you with so much lust in his eyes that it makes you shiver.

You're almost sore but you don't wanna stop, not until you make him cum and it doesn't take Hyunjin too long to explode, his cum hitting the back of your throat, making you choke on it as you swallow as quickly as you can.

Hyunjin gasps and whimpers, his hand gripping your hair harder as you milk him dry. He shakes from oversensitivity and gently tugs at your hair.

"P-please... sensitive..."- he whines and you lift off of him, licking at your lips.

He leans on his elbows, his eyes fluttering as he shakes his head slightly.

"Let me return the favor, darling."- he says and you crawl closer to him, your lips on his, making him taste himself on your tongue.

"Can we- can we continue in the shower? I've always wanted to try that."- you say shyly, your face warm, your cunt wet and throbbing for Hyunjin.

"You're so naughty, babygirl."- Hyunjin smirks, hands wrapping around you and gripping your ass. You moan in arousal and embarassment as you accidentally grind against his thigh.

"Can we?"- you ask again.

"Ofcourse baby. Your wish is my command."- Hyunjin kisses you and you make your way to the bathroom, peeling your clothes off on the way there.

Both of you step into the shower, Hyunjin attaching his body to your back, his semi hard cock pressing into your plush ass as you fiddle with the buttons on the shower.

He gently moves your hair to one side, his lips on the back of your neck as he kisses you slowly and gently, his hands coming up to cup your breasts as he runs his fingers on your nipples.

You moan, relaxing into him as your eyes flutter closed, the warm water from the shower spraying on your legs.

Hyunjin slides one of his hands down between your legs, his fingertips finding your sensitive clit as he starts playing with it, pressing it in circling motions.

"Mm, Hyunjin please!"- you moan, leaning into his touch. He's all over you, playing your body like an instrument and you can't get enough of him, you just want more and more.

You grab his hands and turn around.

"You still wanna return the favor?"- you smirk.

"Yeah, yeah."- Hyunjin nods eagerly.

"Get on your knees."- you say and he looks surprised before he chuckles.

"Alright, I don't mind kneeling for you."- he smirks and kneels in front of you. A gush of arousal drips between your legs when you see such a pretty man looking up at you like you're everything to him and waiting eagerly to please you.

You hook your leg around him, your foot resting on his back as you bring him closer to your dripping cunt.

Hyunjin whines and buries his face into you, his tongue lapping at your sweet pussy greedily. His eyes are closed, long eyelashes fluttering, his nose massaging your clit in the right way as he buries his tongue deep inside you and fucks you with it.

"Oh my god- Hyune, ah!"- you moan, gripping his hair harshly and pushing his face further into you.

He moans and whines as he keeps moving his tongue expertly inside you, his eyes opened and staring up at you. The look in his eyes as he grips your ass makes you almost double over and you're sure you would slip and fall if he wasn't holding onto you. Your moans echo in the small space of the shower but in that moment you don't give a flying fuck about anyone hearing you. You can't help it as your hips start grinding on Hyunjin's face and his eyes flutter shut again as he lets you use him until you're almost screaming, the coil inside you snapping as you squirt on his face and lips. Hyunjin moans with you, cleaning you up with his tongue as you whimper, your legs shaking and ears ringing.

He leans back, smirking at you and you see that his dick is fully hard now again.

"So good, Hyune. So good."- you whine, grabbing at him as he slowly lifts up.

He leans his forehead on yours, his cock slotting between your hips, dragging against your wet pussy.

"I can't get enough of you."- he whispers.

"Me too. I need you, I need you inside me."- you gasp, rubbing your pussy against his heavy cock.

"I'll give it to you, babygirl."- Hyunjin smirks, eyes glazed over with lust as he grips the underside of your hips and lifts you up. You squeal and wrap your legs around his waist, the tip of his cock pressed against your entrance.

You move your hips towards his and he wastes no more time, lining up with you and pushing his cock in.

You groan, nails digging into his shoulders as he slowly pushes in until he bottoms out, his tip kissing your cervix, his cock stretching you deliciously again.

"So big."- you whine, throwing your head back and he chuckles.

"Hold onto me, darling."- he grips your ass, lifting you up slightly and then pushing you down on his cock again. You moan loudly, your arms wrapping around his shoulders as he keeps ramming you on his hard cock, hips fucking up into you at the same time, making your brain turn into mush.

He kisses your neck and grunts into your ear as you surrender completely, your head thrown back, eyes shut tightly, limbs completely wrapped around him, pussy stuffed with his cock.

You've gone delirious at this point and you can't even think or form coherent words, and you can see that Hyunjin's in the same state of disarray.

"Cum. Need to cum."- you whimper.

"Let go, babygirl."- he whispers into your ear and you release your juices all over his cock, making everything even more wet and slippery as you clench around him.

"Shit, ah!"- Hyunjin keeps pushing his cock harshly into you, burying himself as deep as he can and making a home inside you as he groans your name and spills his cum into you.

Both of you hold onto each other as you slowly move, riding out your high. Hyunjin's legs tremble for a second and he slowly pulls out and puts you down, his arms wrapped around you.

Your arms are wrapped around his waist, your bodies pressed together, your face buried in his neck as he caresses your head and you find comfort in his embrace and in the warmth radiating from his body and his heart.

-

You're sitting on your side of the bed, texting Nicki about some details for the bachelorette party tomorrow when Hyunjin joins you.

He slides on the bed comically, laying his head in your lap and poking at your arm to get your attention. You put your phone aside and chuckle at him.

"It's almost over."- you sigh.

"What is?"- he asks.

You put your hand in his hair and caress him gently and his eyes flutter, lips pouty.

"This wonderful dream. Soon, we have to go back to the real world."- you say wistfully.

"The good feeling doesn't have to end. We can carry it back with us."- Hyunjin smiles at you, grabbing your other hand and kissing your knuckles gently.

"You think so?"

"Mhm. Especially if... if you wanna give us a chance."- he looks at you hopefully, his cheeks rosy.

"Ofcourse I do. It's all I've wanted for years."- you smile and he chuckles in relief.

"Then we can continue dreaming together."- he sits up, hands cupping your cheeks as he kisses you lovingly, pouring his emotions from his lips to yours.

"You know, I have sketchbooks from high school that are full of drawings of you."- Hyunjin smiles bashfully as you lay down and hold each other.

"I have like 4 diaries worth of simping over you. Oof, that was so cringy!"- you cover your face in embarassment and Hyunjin laughs.

"Oh my god, that's so adorable!"- he says, pulling your hands away so he can look at you and you feel your face burning.

"Nooo, it's embarassing!"- you whine.

"You gotta show them to me."

"God, no!"

"Yes, please y/n! It's cute, we can laugh at it together!"- he pouts, batting his eyelashes at you.

"Alright, alright. You know I can't say no to that face."- you sigh and he smirks.

"Hehe, fun."- Hyunjin mocks and you roll your eyes.

"You're lucky I love you."- you say.

"Damn right I am."- he kisses you.

Between all the sweet kisses and the whispered words of love, you know this is what you were waiting for.

-

You and Hyunjin decide to wake up early the next morning so you can go to the beach before Nicki snatches you away for some girl time.

You cut up some fruit to take with you with Hyunjin hovering behind you the whole time, his hands roaming all over your body, pulling you into him.

You grab your towels and some other things you need before you skip down to the beach, holding hands.

It's pretty early when you arrive and the beach is not crowded, making it all feel more intimate as Hyunjin and you strip to your bathing suits and make your way to the water.

It all feels like a dream you don't wanna wake up from, the two of you relaxed and playful with each other, splashing around and racing each other.

You feel partly like a kid again, just enjoying the simple moments in life, that veil of wonder covering your eyes and making everything look beautiful and mystical again. And partly you feel like the luckiest woman alive when Hyunjin pulls you into his loving embrace, your heart giddy as electricity runs through you waking up every neuron inside your brain. If this is what being in love is like, and having your feelings reciprocated, you never want it to stop.

-

"Bestie, you don't understand how happy I am for you!"- Nicki squeals excitedly, throwing her arms around you and almost throwing you off balance.

You and the other girls are gathered in her suite, getting ready for her party, and you finally told her how you and Hyunjin already said 'I love you' to each other.

"You don't think it's kinda going too fast?"- you ask, biting on your lip nervously.

"God, no! You've been crazy for each other for years. It's about time you came clean with your feelings."

"I'm just worried, something that goes up fast usually crashes and burns down fast too."- you sigh.

"Don't be ridiculous. Those are years worth of feelings. You and Hyunjin were made for each other, and deep down you know that. Don't let any bad thoughts or insecurities make you believe otherwise."

"You always know what to say."- you chuckle at your friend. "But enough about me, let's get ready for your party!"- you add excitedly.

You decide to wear one of the lingerie sets you brought, lacy and almost see through, your mind already making up scenarios of Hyunjin taking it off of you. You put on a sparkly short dress that accentuates all your curves perfectly, your make up is sultry and smoky. When you finish with the final touches, you look into the mirror and feel so happy that the whole outfit looks even better on you than you've imagined.

The party is held in one of the resort's 'dance rooms', and there is so much food and alcohol around that you have no idea where to start.

It starts off with all of you taking shots and congratulating Nicki and as the night goes on, more alcohol is being poured into your glasses, there's laughter, tears and dancing as all of you celebrate Nicki's last 'free' night and the beginning of a new chapter in her relationship.

By the time you stumble back into your suite, you're a bit tipsy and not expecting Hyunjin to already be there. He peers from the kitchen as you shut the door too loudly on accident.

"Oh, Hyune. You're back already."- you make your way to him and he chuckles as he takes your hands in his.

"Are you a bit drunk, baby?"- he asks as you face plant into his chest and whine.

"Just a little bit."- you say, your voice muffled.

"Luckily for you, I just made some coffee."- he smiles and you lean back, wearing a stupid smile on your face, making him laugh.

"You're cute."- you coo at him, your palms on his cheeks, squishing them together and making his lips pop out.

"I think that's you."- he manages to say and you chuckle and kiss him.

"Drink some coffee."- he adds when you part.

The coffee is warm and just how you like it, the two of you sharing the love for the bitter taste of the dark liquid.

You end up on the couch as you sip on your coffee, some light music playing in the background as the two of you talk. Hyunjin's hand ends up on your bare thigh as he squeezes it.

"You look sexy."- he says, always so forward with his compliments and you feel arousal pool between your legs, already under his spell just from the way he looks at you and gently massages your thigh.

"Oh yeah? Are you gonna do something about that?"- you smirk, now sobered up.

"As a matter of fact I will."- he smirks back at you, grabbing your face and crashing his lips on yours, making you whimper as he bites on your bottom lip, his tongue licking at it. You open your mouth and your tongues dance together, battling for dominance until you let him have it and moan into his mouth. The muffled sounds and the shared kisses make you both throb for each other.

But Hyunjin has other plans in his mind, no matter how much he just wants to lift up your dress and fuck you into oblivion.

He leans back, his eyes dark and narrowing at you. You gulp as he slowly kneels in front of you, the carpet giving some relief to his bare knees.

"Your feet must hurt in these."- his hand covers the top of your foot in your strappy heels.

"Actually, they do."- you nod, catching your lip between your teeth in anticipation.

"Let me."- he whispers as he starts undoing your heel. He slowly takes it off of your foot, before his hands wrap around you and he starts massaging you. You gasp, having no idea how much your feet were actually hurting until Hyunjin started pressing his fingers into them.

You relax, leaning back on the couch as he takes off your other heel, his hands kneading your feet. You've never had a man touch your feet like that but the fact that it was Hyunjin, made your head float. You throw your head back, little grunts and moans of relief leaving your lips, as you spread your legs subtly, your panties now soaking wet.

Hyunjin notices your legs opening up and your body shivering a little and he leans in, one of his hands on your thigh and the other still holding your foot. You look down at him as he leans in, leaving kisses on your inner thigh and you whimper as he keeps touching you and kissing you. Your foot reaches down to press his erection through his shorts and Hyunjin jerks his hips up, gasping in surprise.

"Y/n!"- he whines and you smirk, massaging his hard cock with your foot, moving it up and down until you feel his shorts dampen with pre cum. Hyunjin has a death grip on your thighs, his nails digging into your flesh as his eyes close, brows furrowed and lips parted. Pretty groans and whines spill from his lips as you start circling his wet head with your toes.

"Fuck!"- he grips you harder, glassy eyes looking up at you.

"I didn't know you were into feet this much."- you smirk.

"P-please don't judge me."- he whines, his hips moving up into your touch involuntarily.

"I'm not judging you, baby. I think you look so pretty right now, Hyune."- you coo at him, your hand cupping his chin and making him look up at you.

"Mm darling..."- he whimpers as you speed up. "You better stop now cause I'm gonna cum."- he licks his lips and you chuckle, pressing into his cock harder before you move your foot completely.

Hyunjin seems on edge already and you feel proud that you can make him unravel with just your foot on his clothed dick. He slides his hands to the hem of your dress and slowly rolls it up, revealing your lacy panties.

"Fuck, sweetheart."- Hyunjin chuckles darkly. Before you can even say anything, his hands hook under your thighs and he pulls you closer to his face harshly, his nose and lips pressed into your lace covered cunt immediately.

"H-Hyunjin!"- you gasp as you grip at the couch, your heart leaping out your chest for a moment. He licks over your damp panties, making them even more wet. Your legs rest on his shoulders and you tangle your hands in his hair as he grips your ass, pushing his face into you.

"M-more, please!"- you beg and Hyunjin sneaks his hands between your thighs, spreading them apart before he grips your panties and rips them apart.

"Oh my god!"- you whimper as you peer down at his lustful face.

"I'll buy you new ones."- he chuckles and dives back in, tongue lapping at your juices.

"Mm. Don't care."- you moan, gripping his hair and holding him in place. Hyunjin closes his eyes and eats you out like a man starved as your legs close around his head, pressing him between your thighs.

You're going crazy for him, grinding on his face and he lets you take control as you keep fucking his face faster, chasing your release.

Hyunjin thinks his head is gonna explode with the strength you squeeze him with as you get closer, your moans getting more high pitched, movements getting more erratic and desperate.

"Ah, ah, fuck Hyune!"- you scream out as you cum, squirting all over his face.

Hyunjin seems surprised for a second and you feel a little embarassed.

"Shit, I'm sorry! I kinda lost myself in it."- you say, your cheeks heating up.

"God y/n, don't apologize. That was the hottest fucking thing ever."- Hyunjin licks around his lips and you feel your pussy clench around nothing.

"Really?"- you ask and instead of answering, Hyunjin stands up, taking his clothes off fast before he hovers over you and starts slowly sliding your dress off.

He loves the lacy bra you wore but he doesn't want any obstacles in his way so he snaps it open and takes it off of you, tossing it aside.

He leans down to kiss you, his lips pressing hard into you, bruising and making you taste yourself on his tongue. You grab at him desperately and he slides his arms under your thighs again but this time he lifts you up like you're as light as a feather. You whine and he sits down on the couch with you on top of him.

"I want you to ride me, darling."- he smirks at you, hands on your breasts, playing with your perky nipples.

"As you wish, Hyune."- your lips tremble as you grab his painfully hard cock, he gasps and pushes up into you, his lips parting as he stares at you.

You move his tip against your wet cunt making both of you moan as you lean in to kiss him and bite his pretty plump lips. You can't wait anymore and by the twitching of his cock against you, you know he can't wait anymore either so you sink down on him slowly.

He looks down at where the two of you are connected and groans.

"You take me so well, baby."- he praises and you mewl, slowly moving your hips in circles.

"Your cock was made for me, Hyune."- you lean your forehead on his and he breathes out a shaky breath.

"Mm yes baby, only for you."- he whimpers as you grab onto his shoulders and start slowly sliding up and down on him.

Hyunjin lets you set the pace as his hands roam all over your body, mapping you out, sketching you in his mind already.

You press your chest into his and the two of you kiss as he starts slowly fucking up into you, matching your movement. You fuck on each other slowly for some time before you need more, your cunt stretching more and more to adjust his length and girth and you need him harder, deeper.

You lean back and start bouncing faster on him, fucking yourself on his hard cock as he hits you so deeply, where no one has ever reached before. Your nails dig into his shoulders, and you throw your head back as you keep rocking on him faster and faster. Hyunjin looks at you mesmerized, his cock twitching inside you and he knows he wont be able to last much longer. The way you lose yourself in pleasure, your tits bouncing as your pussy takes him in deeply, keeping him wet and warm, clenching around him in a deathly grip has him counting stars.

He grips your hips and starts fucking up into you relentlessly, hitting your sweet spot with every strong thrust. You almost scream out in pleasure as you cum hard, squirting on his cock, the pleasure spreading through your body, from your head all the way to your toes.

Hyunjin grunts and moans your name as he throbs inside you, his cock twitching as he explodes, the warm cum spurting inside you and hitting your cervix pushing you over the edge again.

You collapse into his opened arms and you hold each other tightly as you come down from your high.

"You're gonna be the death of me."- Hyunjin whispers into your hair. "I don't mind it, though."- he adds and you chuckle, still trying to get yourself together. You slowly lift off of him and feel his cum drip out of you.

Hyunjin looks down and whines, his hand coming between your legs as he gathers some of his and your cum mixed together, and then brings his fingers to your lips. Your eyes flutter as your wrap them around the tips of his fingers and lick them clean, slowly and sensually, never breaking eye contact with him. You slide down taking more of his fingers in and sucking on them.

Hyunjin bites on his lips before slowly pulling his fingers away from you.

"I think we should sleep now, if we want to be awake for the wedding tomorrow."- he chuckles at your pouty face.

"What time is it even?"- you ask.

Hyunjin looks around for his phone that's also the source of music you've completely forgotten while the two of you were intertwined with each other.

"Oh wow, it's almost 4am."- he laughs and you gasp.

"Okay, you're right, we really need to sleep."- you say and the two of you clean up and get ready for bed.

"Tomorrow's the big day."- Hyunjin mumbles as you melt into his arms.

"Mhm. And basically our last day here."- you say, pressing your lips on his neck.

"We gotta use that to our advantage."- he wiggles his eyebrows, making you giggle as you look up at him.

"Sure, we will."

"I love you."- Hyunjin whispers, lips brushing your forehead.

"I love you."

-

Immediately after breakfast the next morning, you and Hyunjin had to start getting ready for the actual wedding.

He offered to help you style your hair and you helped him with his tie.

Your hands tremble in excitement as you tie it, Hyunjin's eyes never leaving your face.

"Too tight?"- you ask and look up at him.

"No, it's perfect."- he smiles, seeing you in the beautiful dress you had on makes his heart beat wildly in his chest.

You look him up and down, the sight of him looking so freaking handsome in a suit has you folding for him.

"You look unreal."- you say and Hyunjin laughs, throwing his head back a little.

"Really? Have you seen yourself, baby?"- he asks.

"Just take my compliment, okay?"- you chuckle.

"Okay."- he shakes his head, smiling fondly.

The setting of the actual wedding on the beach is ethereal, even though there were so many people and you feel a little overwhelmed, Hyunjin is there to hold your hand.

Both of you are glued to each other, you being a little anxious and him being an introvert, and you feel like you're still in this bubble where it's just the two of you there and no one else.

Nicki looks absolutely breathtaking, the smile gracing her face is probably the happiest one you've ever seen.

You and Hyunjin stand together on her side as she exchanges vows with her soon to be husband. Ofcourse, you can't help but start crying and Hyunjin puts his arms around you, comforting you with his gentle touch and whispers of love.

"Fyi, I want a small wedding."- you say between sobs.

"Oh?"- Hyunjin chuckles and you gasp.

"Ignore that. I don't know why I said that."- your face heats up as you wipe your tears away.

"Good to know. For the future."- he smirks, leaning into you and kissing your cheek.

Everything seems absolutely perfect, the weather, the food, the music, the overall vibe feels impeccable. Especially after the first dance of the newlyweds, when the dancefloor opens for everyone else, and Hyunjin takes your hand in his leading you out to dance under the stars.

It's cliche but you feel like your feet aren't even touching the ground as you glide with your lover, it's like you're floating on air and the rest of the world doesn't exist.

"What happens when we go back?"- you ask, a sudden nervousness washing through you.

"I was hoping you'd be my girlfriend and we can continue loving each other just like this."- Hyunjin smiles, his eyes shiny.

"I love the sound of that."- you smile back at him and lean up to kiss his lips.

You hope the feeling of weightlessness with Hyunjin lasts forever.

(Hyunjin accidentally catches the bouquet later on and everyone teases you that you're next.)

Taglist: @moonchild9350 @janepg @velvetmoonlght

[lucimaaie]

missed you ✧.* tlou

pairings - ellie williams x fem!reader

summary - ellie was just missing you when you showed up at her doorstep

warning - short & not proofread as always

being ellie's ex was no doubt awkward. more at the beginning when everything's fresh and you just have to get used to not being together anymore. seeing something that reminds you of her or not being able to knock on her door and say. "i just need you right now."

then a couple months pass, a year, then three and things were normal. relatively normal for exes, ellie guessed. you didn't talk much besides what was needed or when you happened to end up together.

ellie wasn’t going to admit that she missed you. you were her first relationship, sure. that mattered, she knew that, but something in her head told her she needed to not need you. that that was the mature thing to do: not needing your ex-girlfriend. that’s not what she wanted to call you.

she couldn’t rekindle things again, could she? what if she fucked everything up again and everyone in the town found out? she rolled her eyes at the thought and tried to fix the mess she’d made of her sketch. she’d gotten your nose all wrong and it just didn’t look like you.

the thought that she was forgetting what you look like made her want to knock on your door at..3am in the morning. “damn,” ellie rubbed her eye as she realized the time. she shut her book and walked over to her bed when a quiet rapping on the door stopped her. she waited for it to continue and it did. in that familiar beat that was meant for the two of you when sneaking out to see each other was a big no-no.

ellie realizing it was you, cursed as she searched for pants to put on and a jacket to throw on. she scrambled around to get dressed before opening the door with a startled expression. "hi."

"hi." you sung, swaying from side to side like a child.

ellie tilted her head at your behavior before replying. "are you okay?"

"m'finee. why does everyone keep asking that?" you stepped forward to lean against the doorframe but you ended up leaning and missing the frame altogether.

"woah," ellie barely caught you when it hit her. you were drunk. or high off your ass. or both. either way it was concerning how you got like this and decided to come to her of all people. "you're drunk. like really drunk." her hands wrapped around your waist moved to your arms, pulling you inside before closing the door behind you. "drunk." ellie laughed in disbelief as she looked at you.

she'd wanted to see you, but this wasn't exactly the way she imagined it. regardless, she was happy to see you not so tense around her. "staring." you sang again, flopping back onto the bed.

"shit, sorry. let's get you sober." she grabbed the cup on her desk and walked to the bathroom, but not before taking a glance at you. "ish." it wasn't long before she sat next to you. "here."

you sat up and gulped down the water, something you'd probably regret later, and handed her the cup. "ah," you laid back down.

"ah-ah" ellie pulled you back up. "you are not gonna throw up on my bed. please don't do that."

you opened your mouth in offense. "I wouldn't-" you hiccuped. "do that. I wouldn't do that, el. I promise." you said as if it was the most serious thing on earth.

"i believe you." ellie couldn't help but laugh.

she let out a deep breath as she looked at you in your own world. it was good seeing you be you again. it reminded of her of the nights she'd force you into watching some shitty 80s movie for movie night and listen to you complain about it the whole time. or patrols when you'd gift her some random thing you found who knows where saying "it reminds me of you." with a horrible attempt at a wink. days when there was less to worry about.

"missed you, you know." she said quietly. "a lot actually." the confession didn't come off her chest easily but you wouldn't remember later anyway. call it a test run.

"I missed you too, e." you said so naturally she questioned the truth of it. though it seems she was given her answer when you patted around for her hand. she quickly gave it to you. "we shouldn't have broke up." you slurred.

ellie froze. "don't say that."

"why not?" you pouted, leaning your head onto your shoulder. you looked up at her with slightly glossy eyes.

"cause i'm gonna think it's true.” she disconnected her hand from yours to put her arm around your shoulder. “and you’re drunk which meant i shouldn’t take anything you say to heart.”

“that’s just mean. you should take everything i say to heart.” you nuzzled your head into her neck, making her let out a strained hum. you knew she was touch-starved and was probably doing this to tease her. goddamn you.

“that’s very credible.” she got up. “c’mon, you’re gonna sit up in bed till you fall asleep.” ellie squatted down to take off your boots and set them by the bed.

“will you lay down with me?”

her eyes flicked back up to you at the question. she shut them for a while, trying to keep her head on a straight. “you’re not laying down, remember?”

“fine. will you sit up with me?”

“in bed?”

“yup.” you popped the p like this was some casual occurrence. like the last time you’d been this close wasn’t three years ago.

“okay.” ellie said slowly.

“yay.”

“just like a kid.” ellie smiled as she pulled back the covers and patted the spot. you glared at her for the comment and she matched the energy with a smile in her eyes. “get in, kid.”

“only cause i want to.”

after you slid in, ellie did the same. she looked at the ceiling as you scooted closer to her and laid your head on her shoulder again. this time your hands snuck around her waist. “had no idea you were a cuddly drunk.” ellie smiled as you giggled.

“i’ve grown up.”

“i see.” ellie grabbed on your hands from her waist, feeling brave enough to lace your fingers together. she’d enjoy the closeness for the moment. in the morning, you’d awkwardly apologize and scamper off. probably not talk to her for a while.

“missed you.” you mumbled sleepily before closing your eyes. “missed this.”

“me too,” ellie looked at you in this relaxed state. thankful for the opportunity to see this before the morning hit. but she didn’t want to think about that now. she wanted to think of how cute you looked sleepy. how much you enjoyed her touch. how much she was enjoying your touch. “me too.” she laid her head on yours.

thank you for reading!

[ineffectualdemon]

I've been thinking about it

And I don't think what's needed to actually fix Shen Jiu and Yue Qingyuan's relationship is Yue Qingyuan confessing why he didn't make it in time unless it was immediately when they met at the conference

Because that's not what sets Shen Jiu on his path.

What set Shen Jiu down the road he traveled and ruined all his interpersonal relationships was that he briefly wished Yue Qingyuan had died rather then forgot him

And he was so horrified by having that thought that he decided he was born rotten and was a monster from birth. Because only a monster would think like that.

Some people were rotten from birth. Shen Jiu thought of himself in exactly this way - someone vile and poisonous from the start. Because, at that instant, he came to a crystal -clear realization:

That he's rather have met a Yue Qi who'd died in some unknown corner, his remains unsightly and forgotten, then a Yue Qingyuan who was elegant and powerful, his prospects and future boundless."

SVSSS English translation Vol 4 Pg 95

Later when Yue Qingyuan talks to Shen Jiu in the water prison they have this moment:

"Has Shidi ever considered that, if you hadn't treated Luo Binghe like that in the beginning, everything that unfolded today would never have happened?"

Shen Qingqiu burst into laughter. "Why does Zhangmen-shixiong say such ludicrous things? What's happened has happened! I've already 'considered' it hundreds and thousands of times! There is no 'if', no 'in the beginning' —there was never any chance of redemption!"

SVSSS English translation Vol 4 Pg 111

He doesn't see this going in any other way because how could it if he was "rotten from birth" he was always a monster in his mind so to him suggesting there were other options is silly.

When he sees how this breaks Yue Qingyuan's heart he accepts that Yue Qingyuan had done all he could and any debt had long been repaid. But it's what he says next that really says a lot about himself

"You should go," said Shen Qingqiu. "I'll tell you this: Even if all of this could be redone from the beginning, in the end, the conclusion would remain the same. My heart is full of malice, my insides hatred and resentment. Today Luo Binghe wishes for me to die horribly, and I have only myself to blame."

SVSSS English translation Vol 4 Pg 112

He's saying it this way to push Yue Qingyuan to give up on him. Shen Jiu knows he's been cruel and abusive and feels he earned his fate. Which of course he would. He killed his own abusers with his own two hands. He understands Luo Binghe's motivations and reasons and doesn't see how it could have gone any different.

Because he sees himself as an inherent monster from birth and he was projecting that same monstrosity onto Luo Binghe from the beginning.

Yue Qingyuan confessing wouldn't have fixed their relationship unless it had been in the first instant when they met again. If he had said "I was too late" instead of "Qi-ge let you down" that might have changed things. But once Shen Jiu thinks he would have preferred Yue Qi to have died then become Yue Qingyuan and soar above him Shen Jiu was doomed.

The only way to fix their relationship from that point is for Shen Jiu to confess and confront the fact that the person he is angry with and hates is himself and that he's trying to push Yue Qingyuan away for that reason.

Unfortunately in PIDW canon he was only able to do this in the water prison and he still tried to push away Yue Qingyuan (who offered to let Shen Jiu kill him??? I had forgotten that bit) to save him from Luo Binghe.

I was thinking about this because I remembered a post that someone wrote about Shen Qingqiu getting truth serumed but it exposing his real feelings not like hidden identities. Like he insults Airplane and then says "I actually enjoy your company and your writing when you focus on your world building and plot but I had how you squander your potential."

And that was obviously talking about Shen Yuan

But I think that sort of thing would actually fix a lot of Shen Jiu's interpersonal relationships but he'd be mad as hell about it. Again it would have to happen before Luo Binghe hit the sect but if he could voice and confront those self beliefs then there is the slightest chance he could be persuaded that he's wrong by the right person

But yes. The thing about Shen Jiu is by the time Luo Binghe meets him he is well and truly a monster. But he's a monster because he decided he was one inherently and that he was incapable of changing that fact about himself.

Shen Jiu was right. Going back wouldn't have changed anything because Shen Jiu doesn't believe himself capable of change.

Something would have to break through that self hatred and make him believe he can be better. That he doesn't have to live like that.

And Yue Qingyuan confessing wouldn't do that. It would just make the self hatred worse.

[kaveehs]

Not So Secret — Gojo Satoru

gn!reader, wc 0.8k, fluff, established relationship, high school au, jealous!gojo cuz he’s silly

synopsis: Gojo was not a “jealous” guy, but he also wasn’t the best at keeping your relationship a secret.

a/n: JJK 2 IS HERE SO I HAD TO WRITE MY SILLY <333

In his own eyes, Gojo was not the jealous type.

He hated the title more than anything. Although it without a doubt summed up the tight feeling he would get in his chest when other guys approached you, or the ever growing need he felt to tell the world you were his, he would never call himself jealous.

In part, he blamed his feelings on the fact your relationship with him was a secret. After all, that bit was your idea, but he can’t put you at fault for the reasoning. You wished to keep your relationship with him a secret because of how different you both were.

You were a quiet, straight laced student— you always kept to yourself despite being at the top of your class. He was the exact opposite, infamously known as a troublemaker around school, as well as being dubbed as some kind of “player” by your classmates. You knew the types of comments people would say about your relationship if it were to ever go public.

Gojo understood this completely, but there was just one small factor you overlooked— you were incredibly pretty. You were beautiful and he wasn’t the only one who recognized it. He wasn’t the only one to be intrigued by your personality. Gojo told himself that he was ok with this fact, and he wasn’t insecure either— far from it. His heart always knew in the end, you would choose him over the people that would try to pursue you with romantic interest.

When he saw one of your classmates attempting to drop subtle hints to you today, he couldn’t help but feel something had to change. He knew you would probably make some cute excuse as to why you can’t take the guy’s number, or how you’re focused on your studies rather than relationships, and how you would wonder if they would be convinced or still persist, he couldn’t take it anymore.

“I’ve been looking everywhere for you,” he let out a sigh of synthetic relief as he snaked his arms around you from behind. He already knew where you would be— seeing as you texted him which classroom you were in and to come find you later. You were shocked by his actions, smiling meekly at your classmate who was also in dismay.

“Satoru, hi,” you muttered quietly, but Gojo was able to sense the annoyance in your tone. He laughed cheekily, squeezing you harder, fully knowing you would probably kill him for this later. “I thought I told you to come find me later,” you spoke with your jaw fully clenched.

“No could do. Missed you too much,” he sighed dramatically, rocking you back and forth. You could tell your classmate wanted to say something, but bit his tongue and kept quiet.

“Excuse us for a minute,” you said sweetly but apologetically as you dragged Satoru out of the classroom and to an empty one. He could practically see an aura of fire radiating off your body as you let go of his arm and shut the door.

“What was that about?” You crossed your arms, glaring straight at Satoru who’d made himself comfortable on one of the desks.

“What was what about?” He nonchalantly replied to your question. Him pretending to be oblivious set you off even more.

“You know exactly what I’m talking about. You’re a horrible actor Satoru,” you marched over to his desk. “What happened to keeping us a secret?”

“Oh, so that’s what you mean,” he nodded in understanding as he sat up. “It’s really hard to do that,” Satoru shrugged, patting the empty space next to him for you to sit. Although annoyed, you complied, arms still crossed and all.

“I know I promised to keep us a secret,” he admitted. “But I can’t stand the thought of someone else trying to flirt with you.”

“So you’re jealous.”

“No, not jealous,” he scoffed, looking at your usual smile slowly creeping back to your lips. “I just think we shouldn’t care about what others think about us.”

“I know,” you relaxed a bit too as you felt Satoru lean his head on your shoulder. “I guess I’m kinda scared.”

He let out a small chuckle, taking your own hand into his. He understood your fears all too well, and wanted nothing more than for you to be confident.

“You don’t have to be,” he shook his head softly against you, interlocking your hands together. “No one’s words can make me think less of you.”

“You don’t have to be jealous either,” you affirmed, sarcasm heavy in your tone. He pouted, pretending to be dramatically hurt by your comment.

“I don’t get jealous,” he clicked his tongue, as if he was correcting you. “But you know, you get really angry. Even though you’re subtle about it, you have such a cute angry face.” He knew exactly how to bring light into your mood, attempting to recreate your so-called ‘angry face’.

“I really can’t stand you,” you exaggerated as you leaned into him, stroking the back of his hand with your thumb. “You really are the jealous type, Satoru.”

[supercutszns]

bitter to the taste; luke castellan

series masterlist

wc + pairing: 5.5k, luke castellan x f!reader

synopsis: a sharp blade, a black eye, and (more than) two kisses.

warnings: this is even sluttier than the last one, language, sword fighting, sharp objects, blood/injuries, reader is still a horrible person and so is luke but he's also a loooser, making out, allusions/mentions of sex but no super explicit descriptions, kind of fluffy at the end

notes: i’m starting to hate this bc i think i’ve been staring at it too long sorry if this is not as good as pt.1 but i have plans for this series ok. also READER AND LUKE ARE NOT GOOD PEOPLE!!! THEIR RELATIONSHIP WILL NOT ALWAYS BE GOOD!!! THEY SUCK!! they are also not real but keep that in mind :) synopsis inspired by crush by ethel cain; designated song for this fic is unpunishable by ethel cain (i’ve got a whole chronological playlist for these freaks like it’s serious)

You’ve always had a taste for violence. And an equally powerful penchant for sloth. 

You prefer to watch the carnage, not participate. It satisfies something inside you that you know, if it wasn’t for your laziness, could cause something irrevocable. Who the hell has time for that?. You’d rather lie back and watch instead.

This flaw of yours is the only reason you haven’t stirred more trouble, you think. It’s the reason you never attend camp games or sparring lessons. Sometimes, when you do, a dark muscle flexes inside your heart to curl out of its slumber, forming a hunger you don’t have otherwise. The second it starts to pry you have to rear yourself back and tuck the monster in. Banish the need for something more.

You don’t want to feed it. You don’t know what happens if you do. So you let other people do the feeding for you.

Luke cuts through two dummy heads in one swoop. It’s fucking gorgeous. The moon reflects off his sword, a silver sheen casting his face when he’s in the right spot. His brows are set, eyes so dark they blend with the night. Every motion is ruthless. Satisfying. 

You don’t know how many times you’ve watched him like this. He called you out for it last night, but you’re sure he doesn’t know the half of it. The shadows are a sacred cloak to you, and you wait inside them until you want your presence known. 

Meet me tomorrow. 

It runs through your head like a broken record. You can still feel his breath on your lips and your neck is still tender—had to wear a sweater in the blazing heat to hide the marks. Since you were created you’ve accepted a universal truth about yourself: you don’t harbour affection for anyone or anything. There’s not a single thing you’ve felt drawn to or protective over but yourself. It’s solitary, yes, and lonely, yes, but that’s the way you’re supposed to be. 

But you think about last night. You think about the moments between the kisses and the rush. When he teased you against your ear. When his hand brushed a certain spot on your back and something much lighter fluttered inside of you. When you crawled into sleep and thought about him, those were the moments that struck you the strangest. 

His gaze pans over the treeline every once in a while, the anger diluted. Then it comes back twice as hard as he shreds another dummy to pieces. 

He’s waiting for you. Oh, this is rich! A better person would probably turn around and go spoon their offerings into the bonfire the second they understand what they’re doing is incredibly destructive. But who are we kidding? You wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t. 

So you take a step forward, slip out of the comfort of the dark, and the next time he looks to the treeline he knows you’re there. He can’t see you, but he knows. 

You wait. His strikes are less tenuous, much smoother. It almost makes you laugh. Some fucking showman he is. 

Eventually, he buries his blade in the dirt and wipes his brow. “Are you gonna come talk to me or are you gonna stare at me all night like an owl?”

You relish in the feeling of shedding the darkness, coming into the light of the moon. “Hi,” you say flatly, but there’s a tiny smile on his face when he sees you that almost puts you off. 

“Hello, rotten.” He tries to lean on the hilt of his sword but it isn’t quite tall enough so he stumbles. It’s so pathetic it almost makes you laugh. 

“Don’t call me that,” you grimace.

“Okay, back to heathen?”

“Don’t call me that either.”

“Well, you don’t seem too happy when people call you by your name so pick your poison here.” 

You don’t say anything, your mouth set in a scowl. “All right, both it is,” Luke shrugs.

He’s different from last night. Less impatient. You hope it’s not because he thinks he has you now—he’s got another thing coming. “I almost thought you weren’t gonna come,” he says with a crooked grin, neither bashful nor ashamed. 

You’ve made your way closer to him, the soft grass turning to dusty earth. “Don’t know why I did,” you mutter crassly. 

Having abandoned his sword, Luke chuckles wryly. “Yes, you do.”

That bitterness he hides from everyone else pierces through. He tilts your face up like he did yesterday, the press of his fingers beneath your chin almost burning you. You know he’s peering at the marks on your neck. 

“If you made me come here just to hook up with me you’re delusional,” you glare. 

“What, like that’s not why you’re here?” He pushes your face up a little higher, grinning a little when you add resistance. “I’m a gentleman, you know. I can be patient.”

This guy is full of fucking shit.

“I’ll believe it when I see it,” you snipe. The only point of contact you have is his hand on your chin, but you’re a hair’s breadth away from having everything else. The air drifting between you is almost palpable, shrinking smaller and smaller like it’s terrified of being trapped between you.

He keeps your face still. He’s studying you, and you’re suddenly curious about what he sees. You remember all those looks you’d share at the dinner tables that made this happen in the first place. What did he see then? 

“You wanna fight?”

It takes you a second to react. “What?”

“You want to fight. Pick up a sword, let’s go.” He smiles as he finally lets you go, waltzing away from you to unbury his sword from the dirt. His touch permeates through your skin and you hate it. 

“What the fuck are you talking about? I can’t fight.”

“Sure you can,” he replies, grabbing another sword from the training rack. “You need to burn off a little steam.”

You laugh sharply. “And you think me waving a sword around is gonna do that?”

“Uh, yeah,” he grins. “It’s the method that lets us keep the most clothes on.” 

You glare at him. His smirk is a mile wide. The way your stomach is simmering almost makes you sick; it’s like gorging yourself on candy except this time the candy has a sword and maybe wants to fuck you. 

You just watch as he hands you his sword, and the moonlight glinting off the metal has you believing it’s not the kind used for training. “I’ll use the dull one,” he assures. “C’mon, heathen. I know you’ve used a sword before, they force us to.”

“I usually skip those classes.”

He laughs. You can’t tell if it’s at you or with you. “Of course you do.”

You don’t like following orders, but oh, what the hell. Luke knows something about you, just like you know something about him. You’re only a little curious about it. 

“Straighten your back,” is the first thing he says once you’ve taken your stance across from him. The blunt of his sword reaches out to tap your hip. 

You begrudgingly do as you’re told. He watches you mirthfully, and the press of his sword against you starts to feel like a substitute for his hand. All the closeness you’re hungry for, dampened by cold steel. It still makes you buzz. 

He gives you the barebones—the right grip, how to maneuver, the proper balance. But long gone is his easy disposition. The motor inside him that powered all those dummy beheadings and disembowelments is running again, except this time it’s for you. He wants a fight. This is his battlefield. All right, you’ll bite.

You start to spar with the skill of an overgrown toddler. The sword feels like an unnatural ligament hanging off your body. Luke is precise, convicting, far more enthusiastic than you. “You can do better than that,” he prods after your swords clash lazily for the billionth time. “Stop going easy.”

“You’re going easy,” you shoot back. 

“Yeah, but I’d really rather not. Come on.” 

There’s a moment of hesitation. You think about that dark thing you keep harboured. A muscle aching to be used. 

“Come on,” he says again, and he almost sounds pissed. “All of a sudden you’re playing nice? What are you afraid of?”

Something flares inside you. “Nothing!”

“Then pick up the sword and fight me.”

You huff and roll your eyes, but your next swing is far more inspired. Luke blocks it easily, but you don’t care. “There we go,” he nods. “Again.”

This is more than you bargained for when you decided to come see him. All you want is to make out with this hot, awful person and have him tell you hot, awful things about yourself you probably already know. Why do you have to fight to get it? 

He keeps provoking you no matter how hard you try. Your temper picks up the more you swing, discordant clangs bruising the air, but it’s still not enough. Luke doesn’t let up. Of course the one time you try to be nice, you’re not allowed to. On second thought, why are you reigning yourself in for Luke? The only other person in camp with a real, consuming viciousness? If anything you should hit him twice as hard, since he’s so sure he can take it. 

“No wonder you’re so angry all the time,” Luke heaves out, and it gives you a swell of satisfaction. “You don’t have a proper outlet. Maybe you’d be nicer if you didn’t sit around and complain all day.”

“Shut up,” you gnash your teeth. 

“Just saying, maybe you should do something about it.”

You’re getting lost in the rhythm of the swords, the adrenaline, the sweat passing the scar on his cheek. Every swing you think less and less, and that dark muscle flexes more and more. It feels like home to you. Like a good meal. Your bones ache and the world has darkened, but that rotten pit inside you cracks open in full bloom. 

Luke keeps egging you on but you can’t hear him. Not like he still needs to. You think you’re smiling, or huffing furiously, or both. The sharpness of the sword intrigues you. A million terrible things reflect off its blade and you imagine them, all at once, until you are out of your body and the black hole inside you has properly wedged itself open. 

Luke jabs at you and you bring your sword down with a vengeance. But it’s a little too low. You only notice when he drops his weapon to the side and staggers back.

The fog of violence falters. It fades almost completely when he hisses long and hard, eyes screwed shut, and you see the tear in his shirt. In his skin. 

“Shit,” you say. “Fuck.”

You don’t sound sorry, you don’t think you are sorry, especially when he laughs. It’s a wheezy one through his teeth as you come up to him, but a laugh nonetheless. “Knew you were going easy,” he remarks through a wince. 

You ignore him, looking down at the injury. A  gash across his abdomen. It’s bleeding a little, but not enough for it to drip. You did that. Just looking at the blood, you feel the bitter taste of it in your mouth, the reward a temporary hunger for carnage brought you. This is why you don’t play camp games. 

“I’ve got thick skin. I’m fine,” Luke says casually. “I’ve got a medical kit under that tree over there in case I beat myself up too bad.” He’s no longer scrunched in pain, and you’ve got a feeling he’s telling the truth. So you go fetch the kit where he said it was. You need to wrap that slash. Not because you’re sorry for him, but because looking at it makes you angry. 

You kneel and pop the lid of the small tin kit, covered in dirt. It’s mostly gauze and bandages. Rubbing alcohol too. “Just give me the gauze, that’s all I need,” Luke gestures. 

“Shut the fuck up, I’m doing it myself.” You’ve already torn off some gauze, sitting all the way up on your knees. 

“Most people just say sorry.”

“You pushed me,” you spit back, surprisingly forceful. Luke’s smile drops. You take a deep breath, adjusting yourself to get eye level with the injury. “I told you I don’t fight.”

You’re not sure what makes Luke give in, but he doesn’t say a word as you lift the hem of his torn shirt and he holds it up. There’s no proud remark about your eyes lingering on his stomach, or the hesitation in your hands. You stare at the wound. It really is shallow. Your thumb presses at the skin around it and he winces. “My bad,” you mutter. 

As you sterilize the cut and wrap the gauze around his torso, you try not to let your fingertips cling to the warmth on his skin. You try not to notice the other scars littered there, most faded to the point they should be impossible to pick up even in the sun. It’s obvious he’s staring at you. Your neck is crawling with warmth. But you don’t engage, you just wrap the gauze a few times and do your best not to notice the rise and fall beneath his muscles as he breathes. Then you fasten things neatly and put everything away so you can get up. Any second. Come on. 

“Good?” You ask instead, exhaling. 

“Good,” he affirms. He slides a hand under your forearm and gets you up. It stays there once you’re standing. The night stills. 

“I’m guessing you’re adding ‘attempted killer’ to your list of horrible qualities,” you go on to break the silence.

He holds your gaze unyieldingly. “I’d consider that a pro, actually.” 

You are entirely fed up with this drawn out evening, but you can’t bring yourself to speed anything up any more than stepping closer so your chests brush. “I will give you one, though,” he continues, craning down to your ear. You smell his skin and it sends you back to the position you were in yesterday. 

He finally kisses your jaw, just once, then your neck. You shiver. “You’re too tense.” Another kiss behind your ear. It’s not enough. “Do you even know how to have fun?”

“I don’t want to have fun,” you reply bitterly. I just want to make out with you, asshat.

Luke’s breath frosts over your face when he chuckles, but before he can get any further away you catch his mouth with yours. Almost instinctively his arm winds around you to pull you in closer, your hand looping through his curls. It's a relief, knowing last night wasn't some freak accident. This does feel good, actually, and it can happen. Everything you felt yesterday is only more urgent now, hungrier, and you're pretty sure the way you kiss him gives that away.

He indulges you, squeezing the base of your hips as his other hand thumbs across the marks on your neck. This is so fucking embarassing—you think you whine when he bites down on your bottom lip. You’ve never needed something this bad, you’ve never needed anything. But you press yourself as close to him as you can manage and his hand runs lower, slips against your inner thighs, and it’s difficult to worry about anything else. 

Until he pulls away. Like a dick. 

He doesn’t go far, his forehead pressed to yours, but you feel like pulling out all his hair. It’s a muddling mix of frustration and longing you’re starting to associate with him. “Dude,” you groan, an inner coil only starting to unwind begrudgingly compressing. 

“Let’s go for a swim,” he says. The enthusiasm is almost alarming. Almost makes him look younger.

You’re homicidal. “Are you fucking serious?”

“Yes, heathen. Let’s go for a swim, come on.”

He’s rubbing circles on your thigh, which only makes you want to strangle him. “But I—I don’t have my bathing suit,” you string out. 

The smile gets more boyish. “Wow, whatever shall we do?”

It’s another challenge. Another dare. And he knows what you want, fucking jerk. You’re going to kill him. 

“Fine,” you grunt, and the second the words leave your lips you’re pulled to the lake. 

It’s a warm, sticky evening, only made worse with the sweat and the half-assed kissing, so the water doesn’t seem all that bad. Unfortunately, you don’t like giving into demands. So you stare ghoulishly at your fingernails as Luke tosses off his ripped shirt and his shorts so he can plunge into the lake. “Aren’t you going to at least come in?” He asks, but you don’t look at him. 

“I don’t like swimming,” you lie. 

“At least your feet. It’s nice, I swear!”

A splash, like smoke moving through wind chimes. You look up and Luke has completely submerged, popping his head up closer to the mouth of the dock. “Please,” he says with such conviction your resolve turns to butter. Gods, what is happening to you? You still need that lobotomy! 

You sigh, roll your eyes, turn your back to him. “Fuck this,” you mutter under your breath. You undress to your undergarments and you’re not sure if you want Luke to be watching or not. The moon touches your bare skin and a chill trickles through you. 

You take a seat at the edge of the dock, knees tucked to your chest. Luke swims over for you right away. His hair is dripping against his skin, and you hate how beautiful it looks. The waterline is high tonight, almost ridiculously so, so he props his elbows up on the dock with no problem. “Come in,” he urges. 

“No.”

“Just your legs?”

“No.”

“Gods, I’ll make it worth it, just throw your damn legs in!” 

Your eyebrows shoot up. His face is stubbornly pink. Oh, so now he wants something. You take your time uncurling yourself and Luke wades away from the dock so you can put your feet in. The water goes up to your calves, and you shiver. “So fucking difficult,” he mutters, and your pulse flickers. 

“Sorry, what was that?” You let yourself grin for the first time all night. 

“Nothing,” he hums. This time when he comes to the dock, he wraps his hands around your calves. You’re pretty sure he can stand here because he stops treading. The warmth of the water seems to spread further, long past the threshold of your knees. 

He rests his chin just above your knee, water pooling on your skin. “Stop dripping on me,” you complain. 

“Sorry.” He fake pouts when he kisses the damp spot. You see, ever so faintly, a diabolic shift in his expression. He nudges your leg with the point of his nose, then kisses it, then starts to move it aside. “Feel bad about teasing you all night,” he murmurs, still with an edge. He presses more kisses on your legs. “I really did want to see you.”

The irony that he’s still teasing is not lost on you. You’re not loving how desperately warm you’re starting to feel. “Why’s that?” You lean back on your palms. 

“You’re a very interesting person,” he quips innocently. His hands are cupping the backs of your calves. He’s pulled you a lot closer to the water, and somehow you’ve just noticed. Another blistering kiss on the inside of your thigh. 

“You’re fucking evil,” you scathe. 

He looks up at you from between your legs. “You have literally done nothing but berate and injure me this whole evening.”

“Yeah, and right after I patch you up you jump in the water for shits. You’re playing infection roulette, Castellan.”

“See? You’re so mean.” He sighs, and in a move that almost surprises you to death, he hoists both your legs over his shoulders and they dangle into the river behind him. “And here I am anyway, making it up to you.”

You are suddenly illuminated on the purpose of this situation. Why Luke is between your legs. Your heart jolts. “Luke, you can’t be serious.” 

“Mmhm.” He leans forward to kiss right under your navel. 

You hate how much you want him to do it again, how your body burns, but you avert your eyes. “Someone’s gonna—someone’s gonna hear us.”

He snorts, “No they won’t. Either this or you come in the water with me. Or both. We’ll see.”

A huge smile cracks across your face before you push it back down. You’re going to spend a lot of time coming back to this moment, this night, wondering why. “What is wrong with you.”

It comes out like a compliment when it leaves you. You want to vanish. Luke chuckles, and something foreign to the both of you buzzes through the air. 

“Are you going to be nice?” He asks against your skin. 

“Are you going to be quick?”

His mouth finds your hip bones and yeah, why the hell would you say no to this? He nods, “Swear.” 

That’s all you need. You let your eyes slide shut and your head tilts towards the sky. Luke takes your permission and runs with it, pries you open with his mouth until the stars soak through the black of your eyelids. 

You discover pretty quickly neither of you are good at keeping promises. 

The next time you need Luke’s med kit, he’s already awake. 

It’s been happening more and more often. You lurking around camp past moonrise and finding Luke outside his cabin, going for a walk or a stretch or a … something with you. 

“Do you ever sleep?” You ask him sometimes between flurries of kisses with your back against a tree. 

“Could ask you the same thing, heathen,” he squeezes your hips and nips at your neck, but never answers the question. And neither do you, so you’re both okay with it. You’d hate to give up this feeling, but he doesn’t need to know that.

This is the first time in your punitive life you have felt alive. Like a person, with bones and flesh and soul, a real presence. Not a ghost of smoke and shadow. You are real. 

Fooling around makes you feel like an actual teenager. You’re young, you remember when Luke joins you in the dark. You’re having fun. His hands under your shirt and his mouth on your collarbone, the way he bites down and winces when you do something a little too well, when you string out his name and he rewards you for it. You’re both greedy, insatiable people, so there’s a push and pull only the two of you would ever be able to handle. And nobody has to know. Despite all the bruises, the sleepless nights, the swollen lips, all you and Luke share in the daylight are noxious looks, and that's only if he can find you. A perfect crime. Camp Half-Blood’s angel and the vice that lives in the shadows. But in the dark, it’s hard to tell which is which. 

“Luke,” you whisper. “Luke.”

“I’m up,” he grumbles, peering up at you. “You shouldn’t sneak into my cabin.” He was already sitting up in his bed when you slipped in, and he didn’t notice you were there till you were right in front of him.

“Worried someone will catch me? You should know better.” 

He follows you outside so you don’t wake the other campers. There’s a thrill knowing just one interaction between the two of you could ruin both your reputations forever. 

“What is it, heathen?” He asks as the door closes behind him. It���s so dark and your back is turned to him, but his voice is drenched in smugness. “You don’t usually want to put up with me more than once a night.”

“Don’t have a choice,” you mutter, staring out at the camp. You go to chew on your bottom lip, but you wince immediately. “Where’s your kit thingy? The one we used after I impaled you.” 

“You mean after you lightly grazed me?” 

“Just tell me where it is, Luke.”

Your sharpness could cut through any sleepy daze he possibly has. He’s silent behind you for a second. “Why?” He asks.

“Because I need it.”

His hand curls around your shoulder and before you can think to submerge yourself in darkness, he turns you around. When he sees you, his face breaks from something proud to something … you’re not sure you like. “Oh, heathen,” he murmurs. “What happened to you?”

You guess it’s a semi-appropriate reaction, although you expected at least a grimace. To put it lightly, your face looks gnarly as fuck. There’s a bruise on your cheekbone and your lip is split. But what really draws attention is the half-formed, garish black eye swelling up your right side. 

“Just the usual. Pissed someone off.” It hurts the skin on your lip that’s caked with blood. 

He rests his thumb on your unbruised cheek, but somehow it still stings. You know he can’t see much of you in the dark but he tries. The prolonged eye contact without the imminent promise of a kiss feels foreign. “You need to go to the Apollo cabin,” he concludes, brows pushed together. 

A laugh slips past your broken lips. “No fucking shot. They would not help me.”

“Why not?”

“Because one of their shit-eaters did this!”

The words take a moment to register. You see them filtering through Luke’s brain. He blinks absurdly. “An Apollo guy beat you up?”

“Not beat up. Just … tussled.”

“How much tussling earns you a black eye, exactly? From Apollo kids.”

“Gods, just tell me where your kit is so you can go back to fucking sleep.”

His fingertips inch around the back of your neck, thumb still against your face. “Already wasn’t sleeping. I might as well help you,” he shrugs. “I move the kit every once in a while so some other campers don’t ravage it.”

“I don’t need help.”

Luke opens his mouth, then sighs deeply. He takes a firm hold of your arm and starts to tug you along. “Hey, what—” you swat at his arm. 

“You’re ridiculous,” he huffs. “Come on.”

It’s strange. Luke’s never done you a favour before. At least not one like this. You’re disgruntled enough that you had to go ask him in the first place and now he’s dragging you around? “This isn’t such a big deal, Luke,” you badger. “I’m fine.”

“Sure, whatever. Wait right here.” He lets go of you and only then you realize you’re in front of the Apollo cabin. You grimace, and Luke must have noticed because he says, “Don’t worry, I’m just gonna go inside and grab some things. No one’s gonna jump you.”

You scowl at him, and he just laughs. A part of you hopes he hits his head on the way in. You hide anyway. 

It’s a few minutes of waiting in the oppressive summer heat, until Luke emerges from the cabin with his hands full. He looks around, hesitantly calling, “Heathen?” Then again. You move out of your hiding spot and he jogs over to greet you. 

“Nice haul,” you comment. There’s an ice pack, cotton pads, a few miscellaneous items. “How’d you get them?”

He smiles widely. “Everyone loves me, heathen. It’s not hard.”

“…So you stole them.”

“Yes, but only because I’m too tired to talk to people and I’m protesting for your sake,” he rattles off. “Now hold this ice pack before it gives me frostbite.”

The two of you make your way down to the docks again. It’s morphed into your usual meeting place, since the waves lapping at the shore mask when Luke gets a little too noisy just to piss you off. (At least that’s what he tells you.)

He’s stashed his little tin in a different tree this time. After he retrieves it he sets everything out like a chef preparing to make a meal out of gauze and rubbing alcohol. 

Your head has been throbbing for the past few hours. You’re not proud that you antagonized the wrong Apollo kid and got a shiner for it. You’re less proud that you came to Luke for help. Just like everyone else does.

“Come,” he gestures, tugging at the waistband of your pants. You scoot closer to him and swallow the weight of your pulse when he touches you. 

Luke slowly presses the ice pack to your black eye, letting you hold it. “What did you do to earn this, anyway?” He asks, head tilted to the side. 

You’re hissing because of the ice, half-consciously shifting into him. “The usual. Spat at him. Made fun of his daddy a little too much. Tripped him so he landed face-first in his offerings.”

“You did not,” Luke laments as he dots alcohol onto a cotton pad. 

“You’re allowed to say you’re proud of me, Saint Castellan. I won’t tell. You can be mean.” Your voice drips with irony, and you hope it bothers him. The flex in his jaw gives it away. 

“You’re always gonna be meaner,” is all he says back. “This is gonna hurt.”

It’s all the warning he gives before he presses the pad against your lip. The sting envelops you immediately, and your good eye squeezes shut. “Shit, ow!” 

“Stop moving your mouth.”

“Fuck,” you swear anyway. Your lip burns so hard you can feel it in your teeth. 

Luke holds your jaw with his other hand so you can’t shy away. “I’ll kiss it better,” he teases. “Almost done.”

You roll your eyes, but Luke takes the pad off a few moments later. “Serious question. How are you so awful to people all the time?”

A groan tears through your throat with such force your head tilts back. “Not you too! I don’t need a fucking reason, there is no reason. Why doesn’t anyone get that?” 

“I’m not asking why. I’m asking how.”

He’s oddly serious, the caress of his thumb on your cheek far slower. You hate it when people want a reason why you’re like this, just to help them sleep at night. But from the bags lining Luke’s eyes, sleep doesn’t seem to be on his radar. 

“I just don’t care,” you admit, shrugging. “I don’t care about any of them. I don’t care about what they can do to me. I don’t care about anything.”

“…What about the Gods?”

It makes you cock your head. “Huh?”

“You wouldn’t care about them, either?”

You think, but only about which words to use. “No,” you decide, “They don’t scare me. They’re nothing. What are they gonna do to me?”

Luke snorts, almost nervously. “Uh, punish you for saying that, for one.”

You turn back to him, ice pack leaving your eye as you gesture. “How? By killing me? Pecking out my eyeballs? Burning me alive? I’m telling you, I don’t care. I don’t care about anything. It’s all just nothing to me. I’m fucking unpunishable, I’d like to see them try.” 

Huffing, you look back up at the firmament of stars. Luke says nothing. 

The grass rustles as he shifts, and his mouth ghosts over the bruise on your eye. “Unpunishable,” he murmurs, like he’s testing it out. Then he places an uncharacteristically gentle kiss just beneath your eye. And another just above. “We’ll see about that.”

You get that feeling again, the unbearable lightness in a place it shouldn’t be. Mixed with the poison lodged in your heart. 

Luke kisses you, still so delicate that you wonder if he’s been body-snatched. If anything, your bleeding lip feels soothed against his. His hands cradle your face with no ferocity at all. It seems wrong. 

“How do you feel?” He asks after pulling away, dark eyes nebulous and wide. The night usually sharpens his features. Now, they’ve been hushed.

“Um, better,” you reply. 

He hums, laying a slow trail of kisses on your jaw. “Did you at least get the other guy?” He asks between kisses. “Like, did you hurt him?”

“Not really,” you divulge, wondering if you should feel shame. 

“Why?” He’s made his way to your neck now, nudging your jaw up so he can kiss behind your ear. 

“I’m not a fighter.” And, without warning, for a reason you will never, ever be able to explain, your tongue adds, “I’m a killer.”

Your own brows furrow. Luke pauses for a moment, but knocks his nose against your neck. “Guess one of us has to be.”

There’s no more fooling around. No snappy insults, no feverish kisses, no hunger to be satiated. Luke just checks you over a few more times, hides his med kit, and you both get up to sleep. But his hand wraps around your wrist, far less firm than when he dragged you here. “Stay in my bunk, heathen,” he offers. “Leave in the morning.”

You think you’re making a mistake when you agree, but it doesn’t feel like one. 

The next day, after you’ve left Luke’s bunk, rumours float around camp that Luke Castellan accidentally butted some Apollo kid in the face with his sword during training. Caused a bloody, broken nose. Luke was very sorry, apologized profusely. 

But you know, by the way he takes you behind the stables that night, that he didn’t mean a single damn word.

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