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extremelyblackandwhite · 4 years

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losing my mind

pairing: endings, beginnings! frank x reader

warnings: swearing, mentions of drinking, sex, drugs, cheating, creative liberties with endings, beginnings plot, time jumps, angst, accidents, wounds

based off “losing my mind” from bernadette peters/or follies

sequel to “always hate me”

The sun comes up, I think about you. The coffee cup, I think about you. I want you so it’s like I’m losing my mind. The morning ends I think about you, I talk to friends I think about you and no one knows it’s like I’m losing my mind. All afternoon doing every little chore, the thought of you stays bright, sometimes I stand in the middle of the floor not going left not going right ...

The sounds of the night infiltrated Frank’s mind like a drug, probably the only one he could take. Life seemed bleaker and this time he just couldn’t deal with it the was he normally did. Somehow drinking seemed to have no effect on him, drugs were just childish things and girls didn’t matter to him. He just roamed the Earth like a doomed soul with heavy metal spheres shackled to his ankle. Even his house no longer felt like home, every small thing reminding him of Y/N. From the little Beanie baby in the fireplace to the lingering scent of the laundry detergent she had swore to him was the best thing he could ever get and would make his clothes as soft as ever. It hurt him more not to have her on his side rather than Jack, Jack who he had known since he was a kid. No, he missed her and how she would drag him to watch Gossip Girl with her as Jack merely sneered at the idea or how she would eat only sweet and salty popcorn believing it tasted better.

The only thing that seemed to take his mind off was driving. He couldn’t sleep so driving was the only thing he could do. Just drive. Anywhere, for hours and hours on end with sleep weighting his eyelids and regret on his mind.

- Where are we going? - he turned his head to the side, Y/N sat on the passenger seat, burgundy dress on and feet up on the car console. She had a sassy look to her, hair pushed back with a gaze that almost mocked him. Slowly, he blinked his eyes wondering if his mind was playing a trick on him, which it definitely was. - Don’t worry, darling. I’m just a personification of guilt and lack of sleep.

- Go away. - he steered the wheel of his car, hoping the hallucination of Y/N would just disappear.

- I wouldn’t be here if you didn’t feel so guilty. - the corners of her lips were pushed upwards. - How long did you think I took to sleep with Jack, huh? Think we’re doing it right now?

- Shut up.

- He was always much more interesting than you. Smarter, sophisticated, the type of guy I’d take to my parents. You know my parents, right? You know they love Jack, they’re always talking about him and how smart he is. Do you wanna know what they say about you?

- Shut up. - he screamed but what was he screaming at? His own guilt, screaming at the personification, the realisation of his guilt standing there in that damned burgundy dress, the same dress he had met her. She was not there, she was not real, she was just a vision. Guilt and regret personified. - Go away.

- I can go away whenever you want, darling. Go on and do what you always do, go get high, overdose even and maybe I’ll disappear or maybe I won’t. We all know you’re gonna end up like that, dead, just a bit too much and I’m not gonna be there. Jack’s not gonna be there when you’re gone and we won’t care. You wanna know why? Because you push people away, you push them away because you know you’re a mess and being next to you is like dying from radiation poisoning. Slow and painful, side effects lasting forever.

- SHUT UP! - the lights of his car got brighter and brighter until he realised it wasn’t the light of his car that were shining at him. In a flash of second, his forehead hit the wheel of the thud and everything went black. The last thing he heard, his heart still beating and seemingly breaking out.

I dim the lights and think about you spent sleepless nights to think about you. You said you loved me or where you just being kind? Or am I losing my mind? I want you so it’s like I’m losing my mind. Does no one know? It’s like I’m losing my mind.

The sizzling of the pan was everything that was heard on Y/N’s very small apartment just on the outskirts of town yet still with an unbelievable rent price tag. As she moved the pan, she looked up to the clock shining 4:04 AM. She sensed something was wrong yet she couldn’t pin point what is was. Had she forgotten rent? No, rent was surely paid. Were all bills paid? She didn’t know but something was deeply unsettling to her and as Jack, who had come over for a small dinner and catch up, spoke to her the tragedy-like feeling just rose out of her chest.

- Y/N? - he touched her wrist, noticing how still she was. - Hey, are you alright?

- Something’s wrong.

- What? Do you feel a disturbance in the Force? - he joked, trying to lighten the mood but Y/N was much to distressed to even get the joke. - Please tell me it’s not about Frank. It’s been two months.

- Frank? No. I’m just .. I’m just tired. - she sighed, grabbing the pan from the stove and placing it on the table, a perfect frittata. Jack merely raised an eyebrow, setting down his cutlery as she sat. - What?

- Normally if you don’t sleep that’s what happens. At this point I’m not entirely sure if stopping communication with Frank is hurting him or you more.

- It’s not about Frank, Jack. Cut it off, please. - she rolled her eyes, slicing half the dish for her and half for Jack. Of course that deep down she knew she was lying to herself, of course it was about Frank. Half of her didn’t want to admit it that she hadn’t caught a wink of sleep ever since Frank professed himself to her as that half knew what he was. She knew the type of guy he was, she had picked him up from one night stands houses, from the curb of sleazy bars and strip clubs. He wasn’t exactly what one would consider a partner yet at the same time she knew he could be good. He would always make sure to buy some sweet and salty popcorn despite hating them, even having a quarter of a shelf filled with them. Or when her engagement broke off and he sent her a care basket with the whole box collection of Friends and Gossip Girl.

- C’mon, Y/N. Spit it out, what is it? Have you also been in love with Frank for all these years? - it came out as more of a joke, a tiny yet full laugh coming from his throat yet Y/N remained still. - Oh my god. You’re in love with Frank.

10 YEARS AGO

Y/N walked into the Valentines’ Day party thrown by Jack, barely holding herself up in her pair of new heels and burgundy long sleeve fit and flare dress which at the time she had thought was very appropriate. The mood was mellow with low lights and pink and red helium balloons suspended into the air while a very slow and almost melodic version of “Can’t Take my Eyes off You” played.

Jack quickly noticed her, waving at her to come join him and his friends. In all honesty, she didn’t know any of the people here. She knew Jack from her English class as they had been paired together at the beginning but other than that it was mostly frat boys and their boyfriends.

- Hey, Y/N. I’m so happy you came. - he gave her a friendly hug before turning to his friends, or rather, one friend as the other men around seemed much more interested with their dates than him. His friend however quickly caught her attention. He was much more casually dressed than the other boys, wearing a button up shirt with a worn out coat and slightly ripped jeans. - This is my friend, Frank. Frank this is Y/N, we go to English class together.

- Nice to meet you Y/N from English class. - he raised his glass at her as she took a seat in the middle of the two boys. - What’s your poison?

- Oh, I’m really not in the mood for alcohol tonight. - she gave him a shy smile, feeling like a school girl talking to the jock.

- Ah, that bad? - he questioned, bringing the cup up to his lips. - Don’t feel bad. Valentine’s is a commercial invention and the break up rate is usually higher around it.

- Sounds like you’re the one who’s not dealing well with it. - he raised an eyebrow at her statement, amused look in his face. - Statistics quotes and all? Who broke your heart?

- No one breaks my heart, I don’t have one.

- Everyone has a heart no matter how hidden it is. That is just how anatomy works and you can choose to ignore that you have one or you can chose to accept you have one.

- You speak like an English student.

- You speak like a Law student. - she noted.

- How did you know? - he was amused by her, mostly how cut throat yet somehow soft she was about the information she was giving out.

- Law is reason free from passion. - she quoted, leaning her head against her own shoulder. - You seem to be void of it.

PRESENT

- You know Jack just because you’re very happy in a new relationship doesn’t mean I need one. - she was protective but she knew. She knew she loved Frank, she had loved him from the very moment they had known each other, she loved him through the recounts of his night stands, she loved him when she accepted a marriage proposal and she loved him when she left his life months ago. However, just because you love someone doesn’t mean you should be together.

- I’m gonna ask you this only one time and whatever answer you give we won’t speak about it ever again. - his hand went to rest on top of hers, a caring look of that of a parent that Jack somehow always carried. She just stared at his hand, softly and safely on top of hers as he let the question go. - Are you in love with Frank?

The truth is not always kind or reassuring, it’s not always soft or climatic and in this case it was just ... freeing in a painful sort of way. The pain of holding it in for ages, pretending it would just disappear, the pain of leaning her head against his shoulder whenever they had show marathons and knowing it was just that, just a momentaneously second of paradise which would never come to fruition. The truth that she knew, that she had always known, coming out scared her more than her words could ever describe them. There’s knowing and there’s saying and sometimes speaking is harder that acknowledging.

- Yes and I really don’t ... - her phone ring interrupted her. Her gaze moved slowly across the room, sensing something in the air that felt like tragedy in the end. Without much thought, she grabbed her phone from the kitchen island, putting it up to her ears.

There are moments that the words don’t reach, you hear something but it just doesn’t register, it just doesn’t reach your senses and for Y/N this was one of those moments. The grip on her phone grew lose causing the device to slide off her hand and into the ground which in turn made Jack get up to notice how every single thread of joy seemed to have left her face. Before he could even question what was happening, she rushed up to her door, grabbing her jacket and keys. Jack followed behind the crazed woman who pretty much pulled the door of her car open.

- Where are we going? - Jack asked her but she continued to drive. The short ten minute drive seemed to take hours and hours and as the emergency unit of the hospital became clear to Jack, he understood what that call was about.

She parked the car like a crazy person, immediately jumping off the car, still wearing her pyjamas and slippers which were hidden by her black trench coat. Her heart was beating like a drum as she hit the front desk where a less than bothered nurse was filling her nails and having small talk with her colleagues.

- Hi? Sorry, hi. - Y/N knew she sounded desperate but she was. - I got a call about a car crash. I’m Y/N Y/L/N.

- Follow me.

All afternoon doing every little chore the thought of you stays bright. Sometimes I stand in the middle of the floor not going left, not going right. I dim the lights and think about you, spend sleepless nights to think about you. You said you loved me or were you just being kind? Or am I losing my mind?

The small noise of beeping woke him from his transe. All around white, nothing but white and if people were right than maybe he was in heaven however as his eyes got accustomed he could see the machines but more than machines, what really frightened him was the vision of Y/N.

- Hey, darling. - her hand came to caress his face making him wonder if he was seeing her or if she was one of his tired mind’s inventions.

- Are you real? - his words were slow and droopy, caused by the high amount of morphine they had injected him with.

- Yeah, I’m afraid so. - she gave him a kind smile, hand pushing his messy hair away from his forehead. - Me and Jack were so worried.

- I wasn’t high, Y/N. I promise. - he didn’t know what was wrong with him, maybe he didn’t want her to be even more disappointed than she already was with him.

- I know, you just had a car crash, darling. You probably have enough morphine in you to put down an elephant.

- No, Y/N. I, I got distracted in the road I wasn’t using or drinking or with a girl, you have to believe me.

- Frank, darling, I know. You’re in the hospital, you don’t need to apologise to me. I was so worried about you and so was Jack.

- Jack’s here?

The girl nodded, pushing the hair away from his forehead once again, leaning to kiss his forehead. He was covered in small cuts caused by small shards of his car’s broken windows and a few gashes which she just couldn’t look at without feeling the tears submerge to her eyes. A sea of guilt was storming in her chest and although her subconcious kept telling her this would never be her fault, it was merely a car crash, her heart told her something else. Friday night. Gossip Girl night when Frank would bake the only thing he could without setting the kitchen on fire, mozarella and tomato pesto salad, and the two of them would sit down and watch two seasons in one night. If she hadn’t ... She didn’t even wanted to think about it.

Frank on the other hand could see the distinct pain on her features. The pressure of her muscles creasing her soft features, lines by her eyes and lips quivering. It hurt, it just hurt more than he could phantom something would hurt, it hurt more than his wounds, it hurt more than knowing he’d hurt her several times, it hurt to see her so hurt and being able to do absolutely nothing yet that seemed to be a pattern. Frank always did nothing.

9 YEARS AGO

Valentine’s Day. Again. And Y/N was once again at the same party, the same decorations, the same slow version of “Can’t Take my Eyes off You” playing in the background, the only thing missing being Jack and Frank. Jack was on a date with a girl named Catherine whom he gushed about all the way through first until last period and Frank, well, Frank was out with a girl named Mandy. Oh Mandy, where to start with Mandy? Y/N hated Mandy. They had been housemates during the first year of university and if there was someone who could get her on her last nerve and consider murder it was her. Not only had she been a nightmare to live with, constantly refusing to clean or do any house chores, eating the food Y/N bought for herself. God, she was an absolute nightmare but Frank was interested in her and therefore Y/N held herself back.

She sighed ordering a virgin mojito, wanting to remain sober and not get drunk and end up in bed with one of the various frat boys around. Looking at her phone she noticed the hour, 23:20, only forty more minutes of this painful holiday and she could be free from her feeling of loneliness. As she was about to turn off her phone to enjoy her drink, a message fell. Frank.

“How’s commercial holiday? Found a suitable partner yet?”

She smiled faintly at the text, finger lingering over his name on the phone.

“I guess it’s alone commercial holiday for me once again”

She turned off her phone, not wanting to see another text from him, afraid it would be about how well his date was going with the housemate from Hell. Staring at her glass, she mixed the drink using the little heart shaped wood pick. As she took the first sip, the slow version of the song ceased to play and in its place “At Last” started to play because why play actual upbeat songs on a holiday where 50% of the population was miserable.

On that moment she decided she was better off alone in her room rather than in the middle of various single people expecting their fantasy of coupleness to occur. As she picked her clutch and looked for the door, she found Frank coming him, same old beat jacket that had become a trademark over the years. He gave her a little grin, walking towards her.

- Couldn’t let you spend Valentine’s alone. - he said before she could even question his appearence at this party. - C’mon, I have some red velvet cupcakes, wine and a blanket. Let’s go to the beach.

PRESENT

Y/N had remained at the hospital for the two days he had been in, barely catching a second of sleep until tiredness finally beat her and had her sleeping against the uncomfortable hospital chair. The moment she went to sleep was the moment he woke up from his morphine induced sleep, eyes immediately focusing on her and how her hair fell in front of her face as she rested for the first time in two days. He moved slightly in his bed to better stare at her which led her to wake her up with the noise, moving her head upright immediately.

- You’re awake. - she gave him a sleepy grin, straightening her back. - The doctor said you should be free to go home today.

- You should go home, Y/N. - his voice was still somewhat raspy from all the medication they’d been giving him. - I’m really not worth this.

- I have nothing better to do besides my neighbours are renovating, so it’s awfully noisy.

- Y/N, you really don’t need to be here.

- I think that’s the thing, Frank. - she gave him a soft smile, raising from her couch to go stand near him. - I think ... no, I know, I know I’m always gonna be here.

You said you loved me or were you just being kind or am I losing my ... mind?

everything taglist: @connie326 @lookiamtrying

#sebastian stan #sebastian stan/reader #sebastian stan x reader #sebastian stan x you #sebastian stan/you #sebastian stan x y/n #sebastian stan/y/n #sebastian stan drabble #sebastian stan fanfic #sebastian stan imagine #frank imagine #eb!frank #endings beginnings

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flightfoot · 4 years

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Tower of Nero quotes

So since I’m planning on writing some analyses for Tower of Nero, I decided to assemble my usual catalogue of quotes, so I won’t have to constantly flip through looking for them and typing them up hopefully. This is based on the kinds of analyses and things I want to talk about or just found interesting, but hey, I figure other people may find this useful as well.

Beware of spoilers, because no duh.

It was a silly thing to say, but some stubborn part of me insisted that Percy Jackson must be here somewhere, waiting to do dangerous tasks for me. That was his job!

But no. That was the old Apollo’s way of thinking - the Apollo I’d been the last time I was in this apartment. Percy was entitled to his own life. He was trying to have one, and - oh, the bitter truth! - it had nothing to do with me. (TON 37)

“Paul...” I ventured. “Aren’t you worried about having us here? We might endanger your family.”

The corners of his mouth tightened. “I was at the Battle of Manhattan. I’ve heard about some of the horrible things Sally went through - fighting the Minotaur, being imprisoned in the Underworld. And Percy’s adventures?” He shook his head in respect. “Percy has put himself on the line for us, for his friends, for the world, plenty of times. So, can I risk giving you a place to catch your breath, some fresh clothes, and a hot meal? Yeah, how could I not?” (TON 40-41)

What was it about kindness? In my time as Lester Papadopoulos, I had learned to stand up under horrendous verbal abuse and constant life-threatening violence, but the smallest act of generosity could ninja-kick me right in the heart and break me into a blubbering mess of emotions.

Damn you, Paul and Sally, and your cute baby too!

How could I repay them for providing me with this temporary refuge? I felt like I owed them the same thing I owed Camp Jupiter and Camp Half-Blood, the Waystation and the Cistern, Piper and Frank and Hazel and Leo and, yes, especially Jason Grace. I owed them everything.

How could I not? (TON 41)

Sally Jackson crossed her arms. In spite of the grim matters we were discussing, she smiled. “You’ve grown up.”

I assumed she was talking about Meg. Over the last few months, my young friend had indeed gotten taller and- Wait. Was Sally referring to me?

My first thought: Preposterous! I was four thousand years old. I didn’t grow up.

She reached across the table and squeezed my hand. “The last time you were here, you were so lost. So... well, if you don’t mind me saying-”

“Pathetic,” I blurted out. “Whiny, entitled, selfish. I felt terribly sorry for myself.”

Meg nodded along with my words as if listening to her favorite song. “You still feel sorry for yourself.”

“But now,” Sally said, sitting back again, “you’re more... human, I suppose.”

There was that word again: human, which not long ago I would’ve considered a terrible insult. Now, every time I heard it, I thought of Jason Grace’s admonition: Remember what it’s like to be human.

He hadn’t meant all the terrible things about being human, of which there were plenty. He meant the best things: standing up for a just cause, putting others first, having stubborn faith that you could make a difference, even if it meant you had to die to protect your friends and what you believed it. These were not the kinds of feelings gods had... well, ever.

Sally Jackson meant the term in the same way Jason had - as something worth aspiring to. (TON 45-46)

And are you any better? taunted a small voice in my brain. How many times have you stood up to Zeus?

Okay, small voice. Fair point. Tyrants are not easy to oppose or walk away from, especially when you depend on them for everything. (TON 57)

I already felt disconnected from reality. I couldn’t concentrate. I didn’t know who I was, who I was supposed to be, or even who I wanted to be. I was getting emotional whiplash from my exhilarating surges of godlike power, my depressing crashes back into mortal frailty, and my adrenaline-charged bouts of terror. In such a condition, approaching Dionysus was asking for trouble. Just being near him could widen the cracks in anyone’s psyche. (TON 76-77)

Dionysus eyed me with a mixture of shock and horror, much the same way I looked at myself in the mirror these days. (TON 77)

In retaliation, Dionysus decided to look and act as ungodly as possible. He was like a child refusing to tuck in his shirt, comb his hair, or brush his teeth, just to show his parents how little he cared. (TON 78)

“Dad!” Will shot to his feet. He ran down the steps and tackled me in a hug.

That’s when I lost it. I wept openly.

My beautiful son, with his kind eyes, his healer’s hands, his sun-warm demeanour. Somehow, he had inherited all my best qualities and none of the worst. (TON 80)

“I figured you’d come back to camp eventually,” he said. “I hoped you would, anyway. I wanted you to feel at home.”

It was enough to start me crying again. Gods, I was an emotional wreck. Will hadn’t inherited his thoughtfulness from me. That was all his mother, Naomi, bless her kind heart. (TON 87-88)

“You’ve grown up!” Kayla gripped my shoulders with her archery-strong hands. The June sunlight made her freckles more pronounced. The green tinted tips of her orange hair made me think of Halloween-pumpkin candy. “You’re two inches taller at least! Isn’t he, Austin?” (TON 88)

I wanted to tell them that they were all so young. Their lifespans were a blink of an eye compared to my four millennia. I should be wrapping them all in warm blankets and giving them cookies rather than expecting them to be heroes, slay monsters, and buy me clothes. (TON 90)

“Nico has been having... I guess you’d call it post-traumatic stress disorder. He gets flashbacks. He has waking dreams. Dionysus has been trying to help him make sense of it all. The worst part is the voices.” (TON 93)

I frowned at Dionysus. “You could always, oh, I don’t know, decide to help.”

He scoffed. “You know as well as I do, Apollo, that quests like this are demigod business. As for advising, guiding, helping... that’s really more Chiron’s job.” (TON 99)

I wondered, bitterly, if there was anyone I hadn’t neglected, hurt, or overlooked during my time as a mortal - strike that - during my four thousand years of existence, period. I could only be grateful that my shoes were not sentient. Or my underwear. Gods, I would never be able to stop apologizing. (TON 110)

“I betrayed you once,” she said. “Right here in these woods.” She didn’t sound sad or ashamed about it, the way she once might have. She spoke with a sort of dreamy disbelief, as if trying to recall the person she’d been six months ago. That was a problem I could relate to. (TON 114)

“I have to go back,” Meg insisted. “I have to see if I’m strong enough.”

Peaches cuddled up next to her as if he had no such concerns.

Meg patted his leafy wings. “Maybe I’ve gotten stronger. But when I go back to the palace, will it be enough? Can I remember to be who I am now and not... who I was then?”

I didn’t think she expected an answer. But it occurred to me that perhaps I should be asking myself that same question.

Since Jason Grace’s death, I’d spent sleepless nights wondering if I could keep my promise to him. Assuming I made it back to Mount Olympus, could I remember what it was like to be human, or would I slip back into being the self-centered god I used to be?

Change is a fragile thing. It requires time and distance. Survivors of abuse, like Meg, have to get away from their abusers. Going back to that toxic environment was the worst thing she could do. And former arrogant gods like me couldn’t hang around other arrogant gods and expect to stay unsullied.

But I supposed Meg was right. Going back was the only way to see how strong we’d gotten, even if it meant risking everything. (TON 114-115)

“So now you believe the Trogs exist?” Nico asked.

“I am learning to believe in all sorts of things that can kill me!” (TON 136)

If my trials as a mortal had done anything, they had shown me how many times I’d abandoned, forgotten, and failed my Oracle over the centuries. I could not abandon Rachel in the same way. I’d neglected the basic truth that they did not serve me; I was supposed to serve them. (TON 158)

Nico smirked. “Friends, meet my glow-in-the-dark boyfriend.”

“Could you not make a big deal about it?” Will asked. (TON 163)

“Rachel, I’m scared,” I admitted. “It was one thing thinking about putting myself in danger. But the entire camp? Everyone?”

Strangely, this comment seemed to please her.

She took my hand. “I know, Apollo. And the fact that you’re worried about other people? That’s beautiful. But you’ll have to trust me.” (TON 175)

When he’d told me to remember being human, he’d meant building on pain and tragedy, overcoming it, learning from it. That was something gods never did. We just complained.

To be human is to move forward, adapt, to believe in your ability to make things better. That is the only way to make the pain and sacrifice mean something.

I met Rachel’s gaze.”I trust you. I’ll make things right. Or I will die trying.”

The strange thing was, I meant it. A world in which the future was controlled by a giant reptile, where hope was suffocated, where heroes sacrificed their lives for nothing, and pain and hardship could not yield a better life... that seemed much worse than a world without Apollo. (TON 176-177)

Not one deserved to be snuffed out by Nero’s cruelty. The revelation stunned me. I had become a human-life hoarder! (TON 182)

“I’m so sorry”, I managed at last.

“No, no,” Jason said. “I made my choice. You’re not to blame. You don’t owe me anything except to remember what I said. Remember what’s important.”

“You’re important,” I said. “Your life!”

Jason tilted his head. “I mean... sure. But if a hero isn’t ready to lose everything for a greater cause, is that person really a hero?”

He weighted the word person subtly, as if to stress it could mean a human, a faun, a dryad, a griffin, a pandos... even a god. (TON 218-219)

As a god of healing, I knew something about psychology and mental health, though I’ll admit I did not always best practices to myself. (TON 225)

I knew my anxiety about my own weakness was getting mixed up with my anxiety about Meg. Even if I somehow made my way back to Mount Olympus, I didn’t trust myself to hold onto the important things I’d learned as a mortal. That made me doubt Meg’s ability to stay strong in her old toxic home.

The similarities between Nero’s household and my family on Mount Olympus made me increasingly uneasy. The idea that we gods were just as manipulative, just as abusive as the worst Roman emperor... Surely that couldn’t be true.

Oh, wait. Yes, it could. Ugh. I hated clarity. (TON 225-226)

I found myself back in the caverns of Delphi, volcanic gasses layering the air, the dark shape of Python moving heavily in the background.

“So, I have you again,” he gloated. “You shall perish-”

“I don’t have time for you right now.” My voice surprised me almost as mush as it did the reptile.

“What?”

“Gotta go.” I lashed the reins of my dream.

“How dare you! You cannot-”

I rocketed into reverse like I was tied to a rubber band. (TON 233)

We both knew that, under most circumstances, Meg was fully capable of rescuing herself. But with Nero... I suspected Lu, like me, wanted Meg to be strong enough to save herself. We couldn’t make the hard choices for her. Yet it was excruciating to stand by while Meg’s sense of independence was tested. (TON 244)

But now, after knowing Lu, I wondered how many of these Germani really wanted to serve Nero, and how many had been conscripted into his service with no choice. Enough people had died. My grudge was with only one person, Nero, and one reptile, Python. (TON 250)

“Well, no, not Mr. D,” Nico said. “You know how it is. Gods don’t fight demigod battles. Present company excepted.” (TON 263)

Austin and I had gotten to know each other - not just as god and mortal, or father and son, but as two people working side by side, helping each other get through our often messed-up lives. (TON 273)

My heart broke. Meg looked elegant, older, and quite beautiful. She also looked utterly, completely no longer herself. Nero had tried to strip way everything she had been, every choice she’d made, and replace her with someone else - a proper young lady of the Imperial Household. (TON 285-286)

I tried to contain my horror. “Meg,” I said. “There’s only one person you need to listen to here: yourself. Trust yourself.”

I meant it, despite all my doubts and fears, despite all my complaints over the months about Meg being my master. She had chosen me, but I had also chosen her. I did trust her - not in spite of her past with Nero, but because of it. I had seen her struggle. I’d admired her hard-won progress. I had to believe in her for my own sake. She was - gods help me - my role model. (TON 293)

“I didn’t kill my father,” she said, her voice small and hard. “I didn’t cut off Lu’s hands or enslave those dryads or twist us all up inside.” She swept a hand towards the other demigods of the household. “You did that, Nero. I hate you.” (TON 295)

“Lu has immortality,” I said, “because you’re immortal. The two of you have been connected for centuries.”

Nero’s eye twitched. “But that’s my eternal life! You can’t trade my life for my life!” (TON 309)

Python had always been the real power behind the throne - a bigger puppet master than Nero’s mother ever had been. Like most bullies, Nero had been shaped and manipulated by an even stronger abuser. (TON 310)

Nero hissed. “Ungrateful child. The Beast-”

“The Beast is dead.” Meg tapped the side of her head. “I killed it.” (TON 311)

Rachel pulled out a blue plastic hairbrush and threw it at the nearest barbarian, beaning him in the eye and making him howl.

Sorry I underestimated you, Rachel, I thought distantly. You’re actually kind of a hairbrush ninja. (TON 313)

"You - cannot - take - it - Lester!” Nero said through clenched teeth, pulling with all his might.

“I am Apollo,” I said, tugging the opposite direction. “And I - revoke - your - divinity!” (TON 317)

“Hasn’t he proved himself already?” Artemis demanded. My heart ached, seeing my sister again. “He’s suffered more in these last few months than even you could have expected! Whatever lesson you were trying to teach him, dear Father, he’s learned it!” (TON 319)

“This has gone on long enough. Too much loss. Too much pain. But if my husband insists on seeing it through, the least you all can do is not talk about Apollo as if he’s already dead!” (TON 320)

Then I was back in my mortal form, looking up not at the Olympians, but at the faces of my friends (TON 320)

I alternated drinking my nectar and Mountain Dew, which was sort of like alternating between premium gasoline and regular gasoline. (TON 323)

Meg had thrown away her sandals, braving bare feet despite the arrows, rubble, bones, and discarded blades that littered the floor. Someone had given her an orange Camp Half-Blood shirt, which she’d put on over her dress, making her allegiance clear. She still looked older and more sophisticated, but she also looked like my Meg. (TON 323)

I considered that perhaps courage was a self-perpetuating cycle, like abuse. Nero had hoped to create miniature, tortured versions of himself because that made him feel stronger. Meg had found the strength to oppose him because she saw how much her foster siblings needed her to succeed, to show them another way.

There were no guarantees. The imperial demigods had dealt with so much for so long, some of them might never be able to come back from the darkness. Then again, there had been no guarantees for Meg, either. There were still no guarantees that I would come back from the caverns of Delphi. All any of us could do was try, and hope that in the end, the virtuous cycle would break the vicious one. (TON 324)

Even if I survived, I would not be the same. The best I could hope for was to emerge from Delphi with my godhood restored, which was what I had wanted and dreamed about for the past half a year. So why did I feel so reluctant about leaving behind the broken, battered form of Lester Papadopolous?

“Just come back to me dummy, that’s an order.” Meg gave me a gentle hug, conscious of my injuries. Then she got to her feet and ran off to check on the imperial demigods - her former family, and possibly her family yet to be. (TON 327)

“We all have a duty to rescue each other, wouldn’t you say?”

I nodded, wondering how the centaur had become so wise over the centuries, and why that same wisdom had escaped me until I had been Lesterized. (TON 328)

I felt a tingly sensation of power building just under my skin - perhaps my divine self, trying to reassert itself in the proximity of my old arch-enemy. I hoped it was that and not just my mortal body combusting (TON 332)

Deep breath. This was for Meg. This was for Jason. This was for everyone who had fought and sacrificed to drag my sorry mortal butt from quest to quest for the last six months, just to get me this chance at redemption (TON 333)

And yet, along with humility, I’d learned something else: getting humiliated is the beginning, not the end. Sometimes you need a second shot, and a third, and a fourth. (TON 335)

“YOU CAN’T HIDE!” Python bellowed. “YOU ARE NO GOD!”

This pronouncement hit me like a bucket of ice water. It didn’t carry the weight of prophecy, but it was true nonetheless. At the moment, I wasn’t sure what I was. I certainly wasn’t my old godly self. I wasn’t exactly Lester Papadopolous either. My flesh steamed. Pulses of light flickered under my skin, like the sun trying to break through storm clouds. When had that started?

I was between states, morphing as rapidly as Python himself. I was no god. I would never be the same old Apollo again. But in this moment, I had the chance to decide what I would become, even if that new existence only lasted a few seconds.

The realization burned away my delirium.

“I won’t hide,” I muttered. “I won’t cower. That’s not who I will be.” (TON 339-340)

I had done my best. Surely, Zeus would see that and be proud. Maybe he would send down a lightning bolt, blast Python into tiny pieces, and save me!

As soon as I thought this, I realized how foolish it was. Zeus didn’t work that way. He would not save me anymore than Nero had saved Meg. I had to let go of that fantasy. I had to save myself. (TON 341)

The prophecy came true. Apollo fell, and Python fell with me. (TON 346)

The river sapped my memories, my emotions, my will. It pried open the burning cracks in my Lester Papadopoulos shell, making me feel raw and unmade like a molting dragonfly. (TON 348)

I held onto my purpose. I remembered Meg McCaffrey’s last order: Come back to me, my dummy. Her face remained clear in my mind. She had been abandoned so many times, used so cruelly. I would not be another cause of grief for her. I knew who I was. I was her dummy. (TON 348)

Wow, Apollo, you marvel. How did you survive?

I didn’t.

But at that point I was no longer Lester Papadopoulos. I was not Apollo. I was not sure who or what I was (TON 349)

“Have you learned?” she asked.

If I hadn’t felt so weak, I might have laughed. I had learned, all right. I was still learning.

At that moment, I realized I’d been thinking of the Styx the wrong way all these months. She hadn’t put destruction in my path. I’d caused it myself. She hadn’t gotten me into trouble. I was the trouble. She had merely called out my recklessness. (TON 353)

Why couldn’t I let go, then? I kept clinging to the edge with stubborn determination. My wayward pinky found its grip again. I had promised Meg I would return to her. I hadn’t sworn it as an oath, but that didn’t matter. If I said I would do it, I had to follow through.

Perhaps that was what Styx had been trying to teach me: it wasn’t about how loudly you swore your oath, or what sacred words you used. It was about whether or not you meant it. And whether your promise was worth making.

Hold on, I told myself, to both the rock and the lesson.

My arms seemed to become more substantial. My body felt more real. The lines of light wove together until my form was a mesh of solid gold.

Was it just a last hopeful hallucination, or did I just pull myself up? (TON 354)

I rose with a sob and hugged her tight. All my pain was gone. I felt perfect. I felt... I almost thought, like myself again, but I wasn’t even sure what that meant anymore.

I was a god again. For so long, my deepest desire was to be restored. But instead of feeling elated, I wept on my sister’s shoulder. I felt like if I let go of Artemis, I would fall back into Chaos. Huge parts of my identity would shake loose, and I would never be able to find all the puzzle pieces. (TON 355)

My chest was bronze and perfectly sculpted. My muscular arms bore no scars or fiery lines glowing beneath the surface. I was gorgeous, which made me feel melancholy. I had worked hard for those scars and bruises. All the suffering my friends and I had been through... (TON 355)

I felt awkward and uncomfortable in this form, as if I’d been given a Rolls-Royce to drive but no car insurance to go with it. I’d felt so much more comfortable in my economy-compact Lester. (TON 357)

I remembered my dream of the throne room - the other Olympians gambling on my success or failure. I wondered how much money they’d lost.

What could I possibly say to them? I no longer felt like one of them. I wasn’t one of them. (TON 358)

My poor Hyacinthus. Had I really created these flowers to commemorate him, or to wallow in my own grief and guilt? I found myself questioning many things I had done over the centuries. Strangely enough, this uneasiness felt somewhat reassuring.

I studied my smooth tan arms, wishing again that I had retained a few scars. Lester Papadopoulos had earned his cuts, bruises, broken ribs, blistered feet, acne... Well perhaps not the acne. No one deserves that. But the rest had felt more like symbols of victory than laurels, And better commemorations of loss than hyacinths. (TON 358-359)

I turned and strode out of my room, trying to recall how the god Apollo walked (TON 359)

As much as we pretended to be a council of twelve, in truth we were a tyranny. Zeus was less a benevolent father and more an iron-fisted leader with the biggest weapons and the ability to strip us of our immortality if we offended him. (TON 366)

My father coughed into his fist. “ I know you think your punishment was harsh, Apollo.”

I did not answer. I tried my best to keep my expression polite and neutral.

“But you must understand,” Zeus continued, “only you could have overthrown Python. Only you could have freed the Oracles. And you did it, as I expected. The suffering, the pain along the way... regrettable, but necessary. You have done me proud.”

Interesting how he put that: I had done him proud. I had been useful in making him look good. My heart did not melt. I did not feel that this was a warm-and-fuzzy reconciliation with my father. Let’s be honest: some fathers don’t deserve that. Some fathers aren’t capable of it.

I suppose I could have raged at him and called him bad names. We were alone. He probably expected it. Given his awkward self-consciousness at the moment, he might even have let me get away with it unpunished.

But it would not have changed him. It would not have made anything different between us.

You cannot change a tyrant by trying to out-ugly him. Meg could never have changed Nero, any more than I could change Zeus. I could only try to be different than him. Better. More... human. And to limit the time I spent around him to as little as possible. (TON 367-368)

I still didn’t feel like my old self. I didn’t want to feel like my old self. (TON 371)

When I’d first met Meg, she’d assured me that Lester’s appearance was perfectly normal. At the time, the notion had horrified me. Now I found it reassuring. (TON 371)

Ugly weeping would not have been appropriate for a major Olympian god, so that’s exactly what I did. (TON 372)

To be honest, though, I could no longer consider my time on Earth a punishment. Terrible, tragic, nearly impossible... yes. But calling it a punishment gave Zeus too much credit. It had been a journey - an important one I made for myself, with the help of my friends. I hoped... I believed that the grief and pain had shaped me into a better person. I had forged a more perfect Lester from the dregs of Apollo. I would not trade those experiences for anything. And if I had been told I had to be Lester for another hundred years... Well, I could think of worse things. At least I wouldn’t be expected to show up at the Olympian solstice meetings. (TON 373)

She laid her hand on my arm. “You haven’t forgotten. I can tell.”

She meant about being human, about honoring the sacrifices that had been made.

“No,” I said. “I won’t forget. The memory is part of me now.” (TON 390)

It would have been inconceivable to the old Apollo, but the idea of aging in this lovely desert tree house, watching Meg grow into a strong and powerful woman... that didn’t sound bad at all. (TON 394)

Call on me. I will be there for you. (TON 396)

#trials of apollo #ton spoilers #tower of nero #the tower of nero #tower of nero spoilers #the trials of apollo

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park-chim-chim-fan · 4 years

Text

Coffee ☕️

Jeon Jungkook x Reader

Genre: Fluff, college student!jk

Warnings: None really, mentions of sex

A/N: This was inspired by two pictures from @/btsarmy2018x on Twitter! This was a totally spur of the moment thing. I originally made this a thread au on my Twitter account so you can check it out there as well!

@/jimi_hobi_iz

• • •

He had just been sitting in the corner booth sipping his drink and doing his English project when he saw movement out of the corner of his eye.

He looked up and there she was.

Someone who he considered to be the most adorable person to ever grace this planet.

You.

He didn’t know much about you, just that your name was y/n, you were in his English class, you kept to yourself, and you were incredibly shy.

He saw you sit down about a table away from him and start to read a book. To him, you could do the bare minimum and he’d think it was cute.

He loved how invested you were in your school work. When your professor assigned this most recent project, (everyone reads the same book and makes a presentation which are all pretty much going to be exactly the same) your entire class groaned (including himself). But your eyes lit up, mind already racing with a million ideas.

So when you started to read with a slight smile on your face, eyes shining bright, his heart couldn’t help but do flips and cause the dorkiest, most schoolboy crush, head over heels, smile to fall upon his face.

Without thinking, he let out a small, but still very audible, “cute” slip out of his mouth. It was then that he saw you look up from your book.

Right.

At.

Him.

This time, keeping his thoughts to himself, he cursed himself in his head. “Did I just say that out loud?”

He had been caught.

• • •

It was a relatively quiet day at the campus cafe, no one was usually up this early Saturday mornings. They were all recovering from Friday night hookups and hangovers. One of which was your roommate, Sasha.

Sasha was your best friend, despite being polar opposites. You were shy, reserved, and organized, while Sasha was more outgoing and wild. The thing that was the most different about you two was your approach to guys.

If Sasha thought a guy was cute, she’d walk right up and talk to him. Her self-esteem was bursting through the roof. You on the other hand, couldn’t even make eye contact with a guy close to your age. You’d stumble over your words and inevitably end up running away out of awkwardness. You hated it.

Last night, Sasha had brought home her most recent fling and of course, kept you from getting any sleep.

So you went out at 6:30 in the morning after a sleepless night for a walk in the park. You always enjoyed seeing the sunrise, never failing to capture it with your camera. You had arrived back at your dorm 2 hours later to see your roommate and her guy ogling each other. Right in the middle of the kitchen. So you grabbed your bag and headed to the cafe to hopefully get some class work done.

When you’d entered you saw some students here and there, the barista who obviously had no aspiration for their job, and a nice quiet table in the back.

You ordered your drink, some extra espresso today due to the lack of sleep, and sat down to start reading. You were happy to do something you actually enjoyed, a small smile appearing on your face as you began.

Since it wasn’t busy at all you were able to hear patrons conversations. But one thing caught your attention, barely audible, coming from a couple feet to your left.

It was a simple one word phrase. A short, quiet sound, like it wasn’t meant to be said out loud.

The word ”cute” reached your ears, causing your attention to be directed to where it came from. You look up to see him.

The boy who had made you flustered the moment you saw him in your lecture hall. And here he was looking like a deer in headlights, frozen in shock.

Your eyes locked. It seemed he was already looking at you before you looked up, his head not moving an inch.

Was it aimed at you? There was no way. Jeon Jungkook couldn’t possibly think you were “cute”. A very noticeable blush formed on his cheeks, making it clear that it was in fact you he was talking about. You gave him a shy smile, feeling heat rush to your cheeks as well.

There was NO way. You were definitely telling Sasha about this. You can imagine the look on her face as you tell her that Jeon Jungkook called you, never mind accidentally, cute.

You quickly turned your eyes back to your book, not being able to withstand more than 5 seconds of eye contact with him. The smile you gave him never left your face. You felt like you looked like an idiot, sitting there smiling while trying to calm down to focus on your book again. But no matter what you did you could not concentrate.

You could practically hear Sasha screaming in your ear to go talk to him. And you decided that if you were gonna tell her about this, she’d get a real story.

So, you mustered up every ounce of confidence you had and looked back up to him

“It’s Jungkook, right?”

He looked up from his computer, surprised etched over his face

“Y-yes, u-um, y/n?”

A confident smile broke out on your face

“Yup, that’s me”

Never in a million years did you think you’d make Jungkook stutter over his words. This helped you gain confidence, gathering your things and joining him on the comfy booth seat.

“You working on the English project?”

“Uh, yeah trying to get it done before I forget”

He let out a sheepish laugh and you could’ve sworn it was the cutest thing you’d ever heard. However, all confidence was lost when he looked back at you with his piercing eyes. While they were big and doe-like, they seemed to pierce into your soul. You deflated, losing most of your confidence. This only seemed to egg him on. He gave you the kindest, warmest, most adorable smile, making you break eye contact and blush profusely, a bit overwhelmed by everything that had just happened in the span of 10 seconds.

What can you say, at least you tried. Sasha would be proud.

And while he seemed cool and confident on the outside, on the inside Jungkook couldn’t contain himself.

• • •

“Shit” he thought to himself. He had really said that out loud. In front of you.

After being caught, he was scared you’d get flustered and run away. And while you did get flustered, you stayed right where you were.

After you looked away,he had never rushed to open a laptop so fast.

But when he glanced back over at you again you were still smiling, an obvious blush covering your cheeks. He turned back to his work and tried to focus but he just couldn’t.

That was when it happened. He heard your voice for the first time ever. And it was so so soft he could melt.

“It’s Jungkook right?”

Wait. WHAT?!

As far as he knew, you never really talked to people you didn’t know.

His brain stopped working for a second. He couldn’t process everything at once. Your voice, the way you looked at him so shyly, your sweater sleeves bunched in your small fists. It was the most adorable sight to him. He wished he could just sit there and look and you for a couple minutes, but quickly realized he had to reply.

He tried his best to sound normal but he couldn’t help but stutter at your cuteness

“Y-yes, u-um y/n?”

“Yup that’s me!”

He had never expected you to be so...

Bubbly.

In a way he was disappointed. He liked the cute, shy y/n who kept to herself and sat in the corner reading books. But his thoughts were cut short when you grabbed your things and sat right down next to him, a comfortable smile coming across your face.

But he could tell.

Your confidence, while visible, was very thin. You were obviously trying very hard to keep up this act.

“You working on the English project?” You went on with the confidence act but he believed he could break you

“Uh, yeah just trying to get it done before I forget” he laughed a little at how cute you were, trying to be confident but your small mannerisms showing just how shy you are.

He then turned his head to look straight at you, and only one word came to his mind when he was looking in your eyes.

Beautiful

And cute. But man, did he think you were gorgeous.

He involuntarily smiled at you, everything all at once being too much to contain.

He saw you look away and he realized that he had done it.

You were back.

Not wanting the conversation to end there, he continued.

“So I usually don’t see you here Saturday mornings. What brought you here today?”

He saw a look of disgust fall across your face as you explained.

“My roommate brought home her man and kept me awake all night. So, I decided to take a walk around the park at 6:30 only to come back two hours later to them making out in the middle of the kitchen. So I came here instead”

He saw you take another sip of coffee, like telling the story was just as exhausting as living it. You were in the middle of taking a drink when he replied.

“Yeah I get that my roommate Taehyung and his girl-“

You choked on your coffee almost spitting it across the table

“Wait wait wait, did you say Taehyung is your roommate?”

“Uh yeah why?”

“That just so happens to be the name that kept me up all night” you explained, a slight grin gracing your lips.

Complete and utter shock came across his face.

“Wait Sasha is your roommate?!” He asked in shock

“Sadly, yes”

You both let out a laugh, finding the whole situation hilarious. You got a couple stares from the students around you who were actually trying to work, but you didn’t care. This moment was too good to waste.

“How have we never bumped into each other? I’ve definitely had to come pick Tae up from your dorm because he was so shitfaced”

“I don’t know, but I do remember laughing when Sasha came into my room and said a friend of Tae’s was going to come pick him up because, and I quote, ‘His dick wasn’t working’”

He let out another laugh and without thinking, grabbed your hand off the table out of gratitude.

“Y/n, you have no idea what valuable information you just gave me, thank you so much”

Your brain stopped functioning when he took your hand in his, feeling his warm skin against yours.

His hands were so warm and soft, cradling your small hand in his enormous ones.

He seemed to think nothing of it, quickly letting go and picking up his drink

You felt your cheeks heat up for the millionth time that morning.

• • •

He had just held your hand. And he was going insane

He could barely contain himself when he saw how small your hands were compared to his. Now that he thought about it, you were much smaller than him in general.

Every aspect of you was adorable. And not only that, but beautiful too.

He let go of your hand quickly, afraid that he’d scare you off if he did it for too long

The air was tense again, awkwardness consuming the both of you

“D-do you like photography?” You stuttered out from beside him

His eyes lit up.

“I love photography, it’s what I’m majoring in”

“Really?! I love it too,I even took some pictures on my walk this morning. W-would you maybe want to see them?”

He was taken aback at your response, mainly because all shyness had left you body. For real this time

Just when he thought you couldn’t get any better. But now you were a photographer?

“I’d love to see them, we can look at them on my computer”

You smiled bashfully, rubbing the back of your neck

“My camera is a little old so it doesn’t really work with a normal computer”

“That’s ok, we can just look at them on the camera then”

You pulled out your camera and turned it on, the pictures from that morning showing up on the small screen. He took the camera from your hands carefully and started to scroll through the pictures of the sunrise and the patrons in the park, the cherry blossom trees starting to bloom.

“Y/n these are amazing,why haven’t I seen any of your stuff in the student exhibits?”

You blushed at the compliment, not thinking they were really that good.

“I just didn’t think they belonged there. There’s no deep meaning or anything like that. Its just a bunch of trees and people.”

“There is meaning though! I mean look at this one,”

He showed you a picture you took of a little girl playing in the fallen cherry blossoms. You remember seeing it and thinking that it was the most adorable thing ever

“You could easily title this ‘The Innocence of Childhood’”

You looked at him, confusion etched across your face.

“See, this little girl sees these blossoms as beautiful and lively. She thinks that it’s just where they belong. In trees on the ground, it doesn’t matter. But what she doesn’t realize is that as soon as those blossoms fall off that tree, they die. She has no idea that these beautiful blossoms aren’t going to stay beautiful forever. She doesn’t know that in that moment, those blossoms are the prettiest they’re ever going to be.”

You couldn’t believe what he had just said. It was so unbelievable and deep, and...

True.

“Well there’s definitely a reason why you’re the photography major and I’m not” you laughed

He looked a little embarrassed and shy. He had no reason to be, but it was cute

“Sorry I guess I kind of got carried away”

“Don’t be sorry it’s-“

You were interrupted by a large yawn.

“Hey you seem pretty tired. Maybe you should go back to your dorm and get some sleep. I’m sure they’ve put clothes on by now”

“Please, you know them. It’s only 9:00, the clothes don’t come on til about 11:30. But it’s fine let’s just keep going through the pictures”

“Whatever you say” His response seemed skeptical. But you didn’t notice it.

You continued to scroll through the pictures together, but your exhaustion was catching up to you. Your head started to fall, your eyelids becoming heavy. Before you knew it you were knocked out cold.

Right on Jungkook’s shoulder.

In the middle of the campus cafe.

• • •

He didn’t know what to do. One second you were laughing at a picture you took of a skateboarder falling, the next your head was on his shoulder, breaths even and lips parted.

He didn’t want to wake you up. You were too cute and precious.

He let you sleep for a good half hour.

The entire time he was smiling like an idiot. The cafe filled with students, people both of you weird looks.

But he didn’t care. Becaus he had the most perfect girl ever sleeping cutely on his shoulder.

He went back to focus on his project and was making progress.

Until...

• • •

All your friends knew you to be a cuddly person. While you didn’t want to admit it, you loved hugs and cuddles, and hand holding. You just had no one to do it with. And even if you did, you were way too shy to initiate it.

But Jungkook knew none of this. So the moment you readjusted yourself and put your arms around his torso, he froze. Every bone in his body went stiff.

He couldn’t do anything but sit there and accept the fact that you were in the middle of the campus cafe and you were cuddling him like your life depended on it.

Your arms were around his waist, your head was buried in his neck, and your legs were draped across his thighs.

If anyone saw you they’d think you were a couple. Not that he would mind that.

When his heart finally calmed down a little bit, a big bunny smile overtook his face.

The girl he’d been pining over all semester now had her arms around him. HIM. No one else.

He never thought he’d ever even talk to you and here you were, all nestled into him and sleeping soundly.

He was about to wrap up his project early just so he could fall asleep then and there with you but then the worst just had to happen

The 6 loudest, rowdiest, boys on campus walked through the door. His best friends.

They came walking in, talking animatedly, looking for Jungkook, but all froze when they saw you curled up on his lap.

They’d all heard Jungkook talk and talk about the cute girl in his English class. So naturally, they were all interested in what said girl looked like.

As an advocate for the group, his friend Namjoon mouthed to him across the cafe, “Is that her?”

Jungkook gave a gentle nod and held a finger up to his mouth to tell them to be quiet, he didn’t want them to wake you. Most snickered at seeing him be so gentle and soft, but his best friends, Jimin and Taehyung, awwed and gave him a thumbs up.

He blushed profusely, embarrassed that he’d been caught being all soft in front of his friends.

He still wanted to let you sleep but he had plans with his friends. He had to wake you, no matter how much he hated it.

He let out a long, deep sigh, disappointed that he had to leave

He nudged your leg to try and wake you up

Nothing.

He shook your shoulder softly

Nothing.

He didn’t want to have to do this but this is what it came down to.

He talked slowly and softly into your ear,

“Hey y/n, you need to wake up. I’m sure your plans for today weren’t sleeping in the cafe all day”

Your eyes fluttered open, slowly taking in your surroundings.

You were face to face with Jungkook.

And your arms were wrapped around his waist. Still not awake enough to realize you should probably release yourself from him, you stayed that way.

“Good morning sunshine. I’ve got plans so I have to go, but why don’t you go sleep in a real bed” he smiled at you again. Your eyes were still puffy and half open, your hair a bit disheveled where it was buried in his chest.

“Right, s-sorry about this. I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.”

“I wasn’t uncomfortable at all. I happen to love cuddles. Especially with someone as cute as you” he ran his fingers through your hair as he spoke, taming the stray strands. Before you had time to appreciate it though, it was over.

He booped your nose with his finger, giving you another adorable smile.

You reluctantly released him and started to gather your things. You couldn’t help but to smile stupidly like a highschool girl who just saw her crush. Even though that’s essentially what just happened.

He got up first, flinging his bag on his shoulder. He was about to walk away, but he stopped and leaned back down to you.

“You’re cute when your sleeping by the way. I want to see how cute you look on a date as well”

You froze, mouth open in shock.

D-did he just, ask you out?!

“But, I got to go so we’ll talk about that later” he leaned back and started to walk to his group of friends. Halfway there he turned back to you and said, “See you in class Monday”

He threw in a wink as well.

And that was enough to leave you speechless and as red as a tomato.

When he finally got to his friend group, they patted him on the back and yelled all at once

“WHIPPED!!”

You giggled at him and gave him a sympathetic look, hanging his head under the torture of his friends. He gave you one last look and a wave, clearly not denying the accusations from his friends.

There was no way he could deny it. He was 100% head over heels for the cute girl from his English class, who two days ago seemed like merely a dream.

But now it was real, and he couldn’t be happier.

You had thought they left but were proved wrong when you had heard all of them groan.

All but one.

Taehyung was busy arguing with someone, you couldn’t see who since his frame was blocking them. You soon found out it was your best friend, Sasha, when she pushed her way past him and said, “I’m sorry but I need to go talk to my best friend. I’ll be back in a sec”

Tae was in pure shock that his best friends crush was his girls best friend.

But Sasha was soon running over to you and giving you the biggest hug ever.

“Oh my god y/n!! I’m so proud of you! You finally talked to him!”

You managed to squeeze out a thanks, struggling to breathe from her hug. When she finally let go you gave her a smile, that showed that you were proud of yourself too.

“So, what happened? Do you have a date? Did you exchange numbers?”

“You obviously have places to be so I’ll answer quick. One, I’ll explain later, two and three, not yet.”

“Wait you didn’t even get his number? Go ask!”

“Are you kidding I can’t do that. I’m not you Sasha”

You folded your arms across your chest, mad at yourself for being too awkward to even give a guy your number.

“Ok sweetie, I’m sorry. I really should get going now. I’ll see you at home later though?”

You gave her a small nod and a quick hug, sending her off with a ‘have fun’ as you usually did.

She was about halfway back to the guys when you made a decision. Starting today you didn’t want to be the girl who was always just ‘too shy’ for everything.

So you quickly grabbed a napkin and a pen and scribbled down your number. Sasha and the guys were about to head out the door when you quickly shuffled up beside them, napkin in hand.

You froze when everyone’s eyes turned to you. You searched their faces, all their heights so intimidating, making you shrink a little. But you soon found Sasha’s eyes, mouthing a, ‘you got this’. You turned to your right to find Jungkook staring at you. But not in a way that made you shrink like everyone else. His eyes were soft and gentle, reminding what you came here for.

You cleared your throat before talking hoping to give your voice a little strength. Despite your efforts your words still came out a little quieter and soft.

“U-um, I-I’m not very good at this so I’ll just get to the point,” You handed him the napkin with your number scribbled messily across it.

“I hope we can hang out more. I really enjoyed talking with you”

He took the napkin and tucked it in his front pocket.

And of course he smiled at you again.

Making you blush. Again. But this time in front of his friends, which made it a little worse. You looked down at your feet and twiddled your thumbs, waiting for a response. But you got none.

You thought you had struck out. Maybe it was a joke. This was exactly why you didn’t do things like this...

You were taken out of your thoughts when you heard Sasha’s voice

“Hey,” she smacked Jungkook’s chest, who was too busy appreciating your cuteness to respond.

“Respond dude. Don’t just stand there, you’re killing the poor girl she just-“

“Hey Sash, it’s okay” you stopped her before she got too fired up.

You understood why Jungkook didn’t respond when you looked back to see him blushing and rubbing the back of his neck. He was just too cute.

He finally responded when he looked back at you.

“Sorry. I enjoyed spending time with you too. I’ll text you”

“Ok” you shyly replied “I’ll be waiting”

You started to walk away but you turned back around and said one more thing to him.

“You’re not too bad yourself, Jungkook”

You turned back around, but still caught sight of Jungkook blushing and Sasha applauding you.

You gave them one last wave and that was it.

The start of something you’d definitely never forget.

172 notes · View notes

bearseokie · 4 years

Text

Working Other Occupations 2 | GOT7

got7 m.list | navi.

Mark: Professional Skateboarder;

learned how to skateboard young, went to parks and gained attention fast

didn't get into competitions until he graduated high school

won his local competition and got signed within a year

all of the kids look up to him, and he helps give them lessons when he has free time

is the quietest in his skate group, but is also a firecracker with jokes

formed a competition that was sponsored, one of the kids he taught won and they were able to donate the money to a charity

used his competition money to open up a skate shop, gifting jobs to some local kids and helping start more skate groups around town

got branded his own line of skateboards

restaurants offer him and the kids free food because of how much he's helped support his community

oversized clothes. baggy jeans he almost trips over. huge sweatshirts. hightops that are tied under the flap instead of out because that's "safer"

dyes strips of colors into his hair instead of dying his entire head

"snapbacks are helmets!"

forces the kids to wear gear and tries to wear it too so they don't get upset he isn't listening to his own rules

always had the coolest art on the bottom of his boards, with bright wheels and reflectors for night rides

gets frustrated easily, but doesn't like breaking boards

got a friend to weld him a beam to grind on, which he later gifted to his students to use to practice

clean rap songs around the kids, og rap songs when it's the older skateboarders

everyone thinks he's cool and sweet

drinks Gatorade and water like crazy

giggles

Jaebeom: Detective;

takes his job Very seriously

people's lives are usually on the line, so he stays focused

yells at interns and then buys them food

everyone in forensics adores him

has so many connections, barely anything ever gets past him

takes very neat notes in his little notebook.

suit + tie every day

hates when he gets cases that involve kids, always tries to care for them best he can and get them somewhere safe

loves stakeouts because he gets to space out until he sees something

thinks driving fast in his car is the hottest thing he gets to do during the job

is always the bad guy during interrogations, jaw clenched and stern stares as he attempts to get answers

always breaks them

drinks more coffee than a human being should

breakfast + lunch + dinner at diners

got put into one of the biggest cases in his bureau's history

a man had gotten away with murder and managed to escape. after lots of sleepless nights and research, jaebeom found him hiding in a motel holding evidence that made him guilty. he was arrested along with two other men that played a part in the murder

jaebeom was labeled a hero, but he explained he was just doing his job

his mean demeanor lifts when he is off duty, always smiling

people are convinced he's two seperate people

hates when he has time off work because he loves his job so much

Jackson: Firefighter;

the main muscle of the group

always gets called to save kittens out of trees

thinks the uniform doesn't show off his muscles enough

is the best at calming people down / distracting them during a fire in order to get them out safely

smashes through a window at least once a week

his firehouse is his family

gets handed a kid even if the person isn't involved in the fire / emergency

hates driving the truck because it's too big for him to control and he doesn't want to endanger anyone

befriended the house's canine and always sneaks it treats

goes into a fire first

puts his gear on others even though he's not supposed to

loves when his house gets to invite local schools for career days, always gives out snacks and smiles when he gets the help the kids slide down the poles

is always in the firehouse's gym

has such a disorganized locker that every time he opens it, a pile of stuff falls on him

walks around with his helmet on because he thinks he looks like a bobble-head

the captain messes with him all the time

some of the walls in the firehouse are glass, he's busted through two on accident because he wasn't paying attention

second fastest time during practice

refuses to see himself as a hero

cries with families he saves, hugs them and doesn't let them go

Jinyoung: Professor;

always looks pissed

gives out hard assignments but half-ass grades them

can and will fail you for no reason

only talks for half of the class, the rest of the time is sat in silence as he glares over everyone doing their own thing

plays movies on Fridays instead of teaching

thinks Mondays are great test days

slams things on his desk to get student's attention

aggressively circles things in the board to make his point

no phones

all the girls flirt with him, he just sighs and gives more work until they stop

licks his fingers before he hands out papers

will kick you out of you disturb his lesson

never teaches about one subject, everything includes knowledge about other things and if you don't know it you're screwed

always gets forced to sub for other professors

will get up and leave without telling anyone class is dismissed so everyone just sits there until they can go

if you smile at him he will stare you down the rest of the class

always has his index finger and thumb clasped against his nose in frustration

gives extra long holiday breaks just because he doesn't want to show up

eats food when no one else is allowed to

button ups with tight pants and pushed back hair that makes everyone attracted to him to the point where no one can focus

Youngjae: Teaching Assistant;

is louder than the kids

best at coming up with fun learning ideas for his students

is very glad he is only an assistant

wears jeans and dark shirts because the kids are messy

sings every day

helps with choir

works with all grades because he believes every kid is different and he wants to experience them all before he becomes an official teacher

makes the best snacks

loves going to older grades and giving them easy work so they can actually have a break

everyone loves him

loves putting random things on the white boards, drawings, quotes, morse code so no one understands what he's saying

eavesdrops on the teachers drama, but isn't included in the gossip circle directly

loves physical activities with the students because he thinks it helps them learn better

tries to end lessons early so they can play games

always has to help students with homework the main teacher assigned

all of the students agree he would make a better teacher than their own

never has to discipline anyone because everyone respects him and enjoys his teaching tactics

will argue against a teacher if the teacher tells a student they aren't allowed a bathroom break, will let the student go anyways

gets sad when he has to fill out nurse passes

hands out stickers

BamBam: Animator;

used to not draw as often as he does for his job

now can't go a day without drawing something

has the smoothest animations for talking characters

started animating for fun, got to do it as a full time job

does all of his work alone, and though it's a process, he loves it

won an award for his details in backgrounds

created a short film

spends most of his days in baggy clothing, hunched over his graphics tablet

everything he owns has some type of drawing / sketch on it

was able to start up his own animation company

takes long breaks to gain inspiration

screams a lot because he wants everything to be perfect, no matter how long it takes

is less stressed when he has his team to help

chews a lot of gum while working

got lines of plushies for his drawn characters, collects all of them for his office

was able to write his own tutorial book on how to start animating, the profits from it was donated to animation programs in schools around the country

chugs water

hates animating series, prefers movies with solid plots

isn't confident in his animating abilities, can't handle praise

bites his tongue when he draws

Yugyeom: Paramedic;

didn't think he'd do well as a paramedic because he's squeamish, but he really enjoys it

passed out the first time he had to draw blood, concerned the patient

fastest runner

can get in and out of his uniform in less than ten seconds, he knows because he timed it

wishes he was the driver of the ambulance so he could go over the speed limit and not get a ticket

quickest to help someone that's choking, performs a perfect Heimlich or tracheotomy every time

hates that he has to leave the patients with other doctors when they arrive at the hospital

will put himself in danger if it means saving someone

thinks medical gloves are sexy

talks about extra terrestrial theories when they are in the back of the ambulance without a patient

fibbed to a patient that he went to Harvard, they found out he didn't and sent him flowers thanking him for getting their mind off their wound, even if he did lie

always gifts kids teddy bears for their bravery

is friends with all of the first responders so he knows who's who during an emergency

craziest patient he had to save was inside of an elevator, he had to walk them through a procedure to save their arm after it was cut open. even he couldn't believe he managed that

is always around the ambulance even when he's off duty, just in case

works out while studying

has fruit around him at all times, offers them to others constantly

witty toward his coworkers, soft with his patients

keeps a tab on the people he helped just so he can ask the hospital how they are

make his own gift baskets

103 notes · View notes

jeonggukkiepabo · 5 years

Text

LONELY CHRISTMAS [MIN YOONGI] | FAMILY GATHERINGS

SUMMARY: Christmas has always been your second favorite holiday of the year, especially since you and your boyfriend Yoongi were literally inseperatable. Well, usually you were. But BTS gets more and more famous - world tours, award shows and other idol priorities making it almost impossible to spend this year’s Christmas with your second family.

WARNINGS: so much fluff, but also the dirty kind of smut. fingering, oral (male and female receiving), choking, spitting, raw sex (i dont need to say anything, do i?), switch!yoongi, switch!reader, fighting for dominance, Yoongi being meow meow but also rawr.

QUOTES USED: 2. “That’s the eggnog talking. I’m cutting you off.” 4. “Don’t be such a Scrooge.” 6. “It’s snowing.” 7. “Open it.” 9. “I’m just happy you’re here.” 24. “Is this the part where we kiss?” 31. “Help me decorate.”

Now; Merry (early) Christmas, celebrate well & enjoy this filthy ride to hell.

Also, a big thanks to @holyfluffly, who spent her precious time reading through this & checking for any mistakes. ♥

Since December started to come around – and you finally decided that it was time to stop binging on your favorite Halloween movies -, your house changed from spoopy graveyard to Rudolph’s shed. Fairy lights and beautiful garlands were hung up everywhere and once you plugged all your Christmas lights in, your house was lighter than “Son Goku in his final form”. At least that’s what Jungkook used to describe it when he first stepped into your winter wonderland. It was a tradition your boys always teased you with, but it was a tradition you brought with you from your home country that you wouldn’t want to miss. Your mother used to hang up lights everywhere, different Christmas shapes (you once had this weird reindeer light that looked more like a stabbed donkey, but… well) on every window and your balcony while she said “No matter how far apart we are, your light shines on me” – and 2 years after her death, was your most favorite thing to do once the calendar hit December. That, and ordering a shit ton of products from the LUSH and Bath and Body Works Christmas range. Jimin really loved the welcoming smell of cotton candy and gingerbread men, but Jin would sneeze when you sprayed all their pillows with the Snow Fairy body spray.

Usually, it was Taehyung’s favorite task to pick out a Christmas tree with you, decorating it with the entire family (that obviously consisted of all his band mates, their dogs and you), but this time it was just you, Tannie and Holly walking around the tree field and picking a random one, much smaller than what you’d usually get. There won’t be any presents underneath it anyway. Decorating wasn’t any fun, your Christmas playlist wasn’t helping, the smell of cotton candy wasn’t sweet enough. You made way too many Christmas cookies that wouldn’t be eaten. Your favorite pair of fuzzy socks had a huge hole in them and, oh well, your boyfriend wouldn’t be there for this year’s Christmas.

“Don’t be such a Scrooge, Y/N! It’s festive season!”, Jungkook yelled from somewhere behind Yoongi, energetic as always. “I wouldn’t be a Scrooge if my boyfriend and my friends would be here, celebrating the fest of love with me.” You mumbled quietly, a heavy sigh leaving your chest. It was currently the 17th of December, the first snow has fallen over Seoul, your fireplace crackling softly in the background. Yet, you were freezing. “Jagi, come on. It’s just another day of the year, we’ll be fine. We have New Year’s together, what’s the deal?” Your boyfriend didn’t care that much about festive traditions, hating the thought of Valentine’s Day or Halloween, not even speaking about the stress he always has around the Christmas season. For them, worldwide superstars, it was just another workday.

“You’re just happy you don’t need to wear one of our Christmas sweaters, huh?”, you scolded him, knowing his hate for the scratchy sweaters with the ugly patterns that you always made him and the boys wear for photos and your Christmas dinner at home. “Yeah, I won’t even start talking about those Rudolph ears you bought for our photo last year…”, Yoongi smirked. “I loved those!”, you vaguely heard the voice of Jimin in the background, Taehyung agreeing him on that. “I still wear those whenever I wash my face, thank you Y/N!” Sighing, you wished you were right there, with your loud and energetic boys, instead you were suffering on your own, the pout never leaving your lips.

“Boys, you’ve got 10 Minutes left!”, their tour manager interrupted your sulking, Yoongi nodding at him. “We’ll be right there.” He smiles at your pout, sticking out his bottom lip as well. “I’ll call you after the show, okay? Will you be still awake?” BTS was currently on world tour, playing somewhere in Europe and the time differences made it rougher than ever to talk to your boyfriend every day. You shrug, shivering under the thought of another sleepless night without your love, without the sounds of Taehyung and Jungkook fighting over some videogame and without the thought of Jin’s delicious breakfast to wake up to. “I guess I will, see you later, Yoongs. Bye Tae, bye Jungkook, bye Jiminie!”, you wave to the boys you considered family before smiling sadly at Yoongi. “Good luck, I’m sure you guys will rock that country! I love you.” “I love you too, Jagi. I’ll text you before I’m going to call you, okay? Try and rest.” “Bye, Noona!” Then the screen went black, all you could see was your own sad appearance in one of Yoongi’s oversized Hoodies.

Days went by, you didn’t have the chance to talk very much to Yoongi because of yours and their working schedule, they were currently in the States to record another hit song with some famous American singer that would explode on the Charts the second it comes out. Sure, you loved your boy’s music, you could listen to them sing and rap for hours, they worked hard and deserved all their success – but you didn’t wonder that all of them weren’t in a relationship. Tour life was hard, not only for their girlfriends but for them, too. A simple picture from across the world with a random girl could ruin relationships, just because of a misunderstanding. When you and Yoongi started dating a couple of years ago, Jin had a long-distance relationship – which already sucks for ‘normal’ human beings, but for worldwide superstars? A catastrophe because you couldn’t just come home to your significant other. It was over for them after a few months because she met a nice guy from her apartment complex, because he was there while Jin wasn’t. It was sad, especially for the Maknaes, because they needed affection, they needed their experience, they needed love. Instead, they had to have One Night Stands, making sure that those girls wouldn’t talk about their “night with BTS”. Truth be told it was too much work to find a girl to get laid, so they’d simply refuse, giving into their frustration and suffer from loneliness.

With Yoongi, things were easy. He didn’t get jealous whenever you hung out with other guys, but he also didn’t give you any reason to be jealous as well. People always describe him as “cold”, “depressed” or “weird guy that’s always quiet”, but once he warmed up to you, he was even funnier than Jin, his dry humor and loving gestures winning over your heart immediately. He was a family person, loving to be in a cozy home surrounded by his bandmates and you, even if he’d never say that out loud, all of them knew it. Yoongi was a loving person, whether he was showing it or not.

The 20th December rolled around quicker than you thought, last minute presents were bought, the house completely decorated and one Christmas movie after the other was playing on TV – but you were still sulking. “You didn’t even help me decorate! I had to do all of that by myself!”, you switched your phone camera so you could show Jimin how beautiful the living room looked, smiling at his little pout. “Noona!”, he whined, “Don’t be angry, okay? I promise you I’ll decorate for New Year’s all by myself.” “Don’t worry, Jiminie, it’s not your fault you can’t be here. Where’s Hobi? I’m watching his favorite Christmas movie, but I can’t get in the mood without my sunshine.” Jimin looks around, his lips twitching, but he remained quiet. “Jimin?” “He’s… uhhhh… He’s doing stuff with Yoongi and Tae?” You raise an eyebrow at him, taking another sip of the creamy eggnog you ordered online because it was nowhere to be found in Seoul. “Are you lying, Jiminie?” “No, but… Oh, Jungkook calls for me, bye Noona!” Sighing, you dropped your phone aside, head tilting towards the window while a soft smile appeared on your lips. It’s snowing.

On the 24th December, the boys had their last official concert of the year – in Australia. A 13-hour flight away, plus the two-hour time difference that made your heart sink, because whenever you were ready to call Yoongi, he was already too tired because of the concert and travel exhaustion. As one of the idol’s girlfriend, it was basically your job to watch their performances, you streamed all of them, no matter what time it was in your time zone, but it wasn’t as good as it would be when you were there. You loved going to their concerts, not standing backstage to watch the show, no. You preferred going into the crowd, singing and dancing along with ARMYs from around the world and watching your family from down there, enjoying their glow and sensual performances from a fan’s perspective. But today, it was just you and your laptop, watching the stream in your bed, a cup of your favorite tea beside you, Tannie on your lap and Holly somewhere besides you under the blanket, asleep like always. A smile was plastered on your face as you saw that all of them were wearing those “stupid Rudolph ears” – even if Yoongi looked grumpier than ever. You were fascinated as always – how could those cute little boys turn into Korean gods within two seconds? Of course, the Maknaes were the center of attention, fans chanting for them, dancing and screaming – you couldn’t deny the fact that they looked great, but exhaustion was plastered on all of their faces. Your eyes were plastered on the smol bean that caught your heart and as if he knew, he smiled into the camera, giving it a finger heart.

The 25th December was rough, you didn’t even want to get out of bed, staying under the covers for several hours after waking up. There was no reason so get up if there wasn’t anyone to give presents to. You didn’t use your phone, watching The Nightmare before Christmas again because if you acted like it was still Halloween, you wouldn’t be as sad that you were alone on your second favorite holiday of the year. It was around 12pm when the two dogs came into your room, whimpering because you didn’t take them out yet. “Ugh, fine, fine. Let me grab my shoes and we’ll go out”, you mumbled groggily while heaving your tired body out of bed. Pulling your slippers over your cold toes as you tied your hair out of your face. You didn’t plan to go out for too long, so you didn’t even try to make yourself look good. Humming the movie’s soundtrack, you made your way downstairs, surprised by the warm scent of cinnamon and vanilla that filled the house. “Huh, did I leave my candles on?” With furrowed eyebrows you check the living room, not wanting to burn the entire house down on Christmas, but you stood still in shock when you realized why it smelled just the way it did.

Jimin and Jin were busy in the kitchen, baking cookies and cooking up your Christmas dinner. Jungkook and Taehyung were building a giant gingerbread house while Namjoon sat besides them, frustrated over his own ruined house laying in broken pieces. Hobi placing all of the presents underneath the Christmas tree while Yoongi sat on the couch, Holly on his lap and a loving smile on his face as he saw you in your sleepy state with a frown on your face. “Merry Christmas, babe.”

Suddenly, seven pairs of eyes were on you, smiles beaming across the entire room and seconds later you were caught in a warm, cozy group hug. “Surprise, Noona!”, Jungkook beamed as he pressed a kiss on your cheek, receiving a flip against his forehead from Yoongi. “Lips away, you can kiss Taehyung, not my girl.” Taehyung’s cheeks burned a bright red, Jungkook looked away while biting his lips and Jimin just smirked but pressed you tight against his body. “We’re glad to be back.” Jin groaned, pulling you out of the hug. “Let that poor girl alone, she needs to collect her thoughts first. Look at her”, he pointed towards your face, shock still written across it as you looked into each of your boys’ faces. “You… I mean, how… You were… Australia?” Your boyfriend laughed, now pulling you into a tight hug while burying his nose in your hair, inhaling the familiar scent that always calmed him down. “We’re here, that’s all that matters.” “We took the first plane back home, but we’ve been waiting for you to get up since 9AM, what did you do? It’s Christmas, usually you’d set an alarm at 6AM to run and check your presents”, Hobi pouted, pointing towards the tree.

“I didn’t have a reason to be up, so I watched The Nightmare before Christmas. But now, I’m just happy you’re here”, you smiled fondly at all of them, “Open your presents. Especially you, Babe. Open it!” You clap your hands excitedly, jumping up and down as you hand them their presents: a big, soft blanket for Jimin, so he can roll himself up in it and be cozy the entire holidays. A new Japanese knife for Jin, because Namjoon broke his favorite knife when he tried to cut through a book – don’t ask, nobody knows why he did that. Namjoon got a new KAWs figure he didn’t have the chance to buy yet while Hoseok got a new Palm Angels hoodie. Taehyung and Jungkook got some games for their PlayStation and a set of new controllers, because… well, Jungkook tends to destroy them when he’s in a rage. Yoongi’s present was hard to find because he basically has everything he wants and you weren’t too familiar with all those high end music technologies that you could give him, so you decided on a spa weekend over the holidays, just the two of you in a fancy wellness resort. Exactly what he needed after that tour. “Y/N, you must be poor by now! I should have gotten you a gift card or something”, Taehyung pouted, “You spent way too much on our presents!” You smiled, shaking your head and pressed a soft kiss on his cheeks. “Everything for my family. You’re all that I have left.”

The day went by way too fast; a fabulous Christmas buffet was set up by Jin, eggnog and wine handpicked by the youngest Maknae and Christmas movies of Jimin’s choice made up for all the days you spent sulking in your room. “I love you guys so much. I can’t believe you surprised me like that! Ugh, I really thought I had to spend Christmas with just the dogs.” You placed your head on Yoongi’s shoulder, cuddling deeper into the soft material of his hoodie while he rubbed your shoulder. “That’s the eggnog talking, love. You’re the anchor of our little family, we couldn’t be apart from you over the holidays, Jungkook would’ve driven us crazy and Namjoon would set the hotel on fire while trying to light a Christmas candle”, Yoongi mumbled. “A Christmas wonder! Yoongi confessed his feelings! Tweet that, Namjoon!”, Hoseok yelled while earning a slap on the back of his head from Jimin. “Don’t scare him, he’s like a deer right now, if we just ignore it, maybe he’ll say something nice about us too!” Yoongi just rolled his eyes, pulling you closer toward his small frame while mumbling “Idiots”.

It was past midnight, your tummies filled with delicious snacks and desserts, brain fogged because of the amount of alcohol all of you drank that day – and you were just happy to finally be in bed with your boyfriend again. “You know how lonely the nights were without you? Not just you, but also the boys. I even missed Jungkook’s animal imitations”, you sighed, “I missed breakfast, without Jin all I ate was toast and cucumbers. I’m lucky to be part of your family.” Yoongi smiled, a precious, rare smile that showed all his love for you.

“I had time to think on tour, you know. It’s rough, you not being there with me, I saw all those places, cities and famous buildings, but didn’t have you to share those moments with. I had dinner with Taehyung right in front of the Eiffel Tower, I shared a Pizza in Venice with Jungkook, had beer with Hoseok in Berlin, but I wish I had all those moments with you, love. So, I’m bad at this stuff, you know that. The entire world knows that, but you also know that I love you. And I wish you could be the person by my side on tour, on every tour. I wish you could be my +1 at events, dinner parties or during award shows. I even talked to our management, because an ‘official girlfriend’ is dangerous for all of us. But I didn’t want the world to meet you as my girlfriend, Y/N. I want them to finally meet you as my wife, the woman that won’t ever leave my side. This is probably trashy and I could use better opportunities for that, but… Y/N, my love, my flower, my angel, would you marry me?” Yoongi, the smooth guy he was, pulled out a simple yet beautiful rosé gold ring – without a box – from the pocket of his sweats, sitting in front of you on your bed, crossed legs and a nervous smile on his face. You couldn’t hide the pout on your face, lips quivering and tears dwelling in your eyes while you looked at the beautiful man in front of you, the beautiful ring in his hands and outside, snowflakes fall from the sky. Everything was perfect. “Yoongi… Yes! Fuck, of course!”, you jumped into his lap, not caring about the pling your engagement ring made when it fell to the floor, because right now, your fiancé was more important. You showered his face in kisses, not caring the slightest about the grumpy noises he made – even if they were fake, because he was just as happy as you were. His smile was beautiful, something you didn’t see that much because he seldom smiled so brightly even his bottom teeth were showing. “Is that the part where we kiss?”

You didn’t hesitate to press your lips onto his, soft and loving, sweet and tender. “Min Yoongi, is that the part where you turn into the sweet little kitten your fandom thinks you are?” Smirking, Yoongi growls at you, showing you his teeth once more. “Oh baby, I’m going to show you that nothing on my body is little.” His lips were back on yours, his hands buried in your hair as he made his way between your legs, almost crushing you with the comfortable weight of his body on yours. Whatever loving, sweet innocent kiss you shared before, this one was completely different. It gave way to heated passion as you both continue the lustful, erotic exchange. Yoongi’s shaking but skilled hands started to peel off your ugly Christmas sweater and the rest of your clothes, falling to the floor forgotten, before he gently bites along your jaw and the nape of your neck, leaving a trail of love bites on the way down there. Your moans fill the room that still smells like cinnamon and cotton candy, combined with Yoongi’s musky scent and the sweet scent of a heated make-out session. With his lips still attached to your soft skin, you take the opportunity to catch him off guard and flip both your bodies into a new position; you now straddling his slim waist. Yoongi’s lips widened in shock, then turned into a bright smirk. “Someone’s feisty.” You just smile at him sweetly, cutting off his words as you wrap your hands around his beautiful throat, leaning your face towards his ear. “I wouldn’t speak like that in such a position, Babe.”

Yoongi’s voice hitched, “Y/N”, he whined. The same hand that restricted his airways comes up to slightly slap his scruffed cheek, but it had still enough force to leave a sting that reminded him not to speak up anymore. “Aren’t you going to be a good boy? Or should I call you a good little kitten? Would you like that?” He shakes his head quickly, baring his teeth once more. “Shut that, love. You won’t be able to tame a lion. I’m not a small kitten.” He knows he could switch positions any time, hell, you knew that too. But you also knew that he enjoyed that position too much to change anything now. Shaking your head in displeasure, you crawl down the bed to be at eye level with his beautiful cock. The cock that had you limping almost every night, that never fails to give you pleasure, that already sends tingles to your core. Your hands were cold against the prominent vine that ran from his shaft to his leaking tip, red and sensitive as you licked your finger to circle around it. Tiny moans – mewls – left his mouth, causing you to giggle. You knew it. His balls were tight, full and hurting. He was away for so long, having almost no time to pleasure himself. You cooed, the other hand coming up to gently play with them, rolling them around as you kept applying pressure to his tip. Yoongi’s groans got louder and louder once your mouth was finally working its magic on him, his hands buried inside the loose strands of your hair, trying to shove you down deeper. Much to your displeasure.

You hissed, letting go of his length as you crawled up to sit on his toned chest. Smiling, you slid your fingers through your soaked folds, holding them in front of his sweaty face. “Suck.” Oh, and how he sucks. His tongue working circles around your digit, collecting your sweet juices as he hums happily. “You’re my toy. A fucking toy, do you understand that? You don’t get to make rules here, Yoongi. If I want to suck your cock, I’ll do it how I want, not how you want it. Or did I miss something?” You made sure his eyes never left yours, fingers still inside his mouth – and you just decided to shove them down a bit deeper, making him gag around them just like he wants you to gag around his cock. “I asked you something, pretty babe. Mind answering?” Yoongi hums again, not able to speak with your fingers down his throat, but it was good enough of a try for you. It wasn’t every day you got the chance to dominate Min Yoongi, you were sure to getting everything out of it. You pulled your now wet digits out of his mouth, wiping away his spit somewhere in his mint colored hair, as you turned around to sit on his face, just like he loves you to do. By now, his only problem was holding back his load, eating your pussy wouldn’t help with that though. “Now, are you going to cum for me, precious? While devouring my pussy? I bet you’d like that, huh?” Yoongi hums again, his hands already on your ass to spread your cheeks, allowing him to dive deep into your pussy, drinking your juices, slurping them down like a fine, ripe wine. Teasingly, you continued to jerk him off, enjoying the tension in his body, his concentration on your pussy rather than his own orgasm. “Mh, wait. I changed my mind. Hold it, you don’t have my permission just yet”, you laughed as you squeezed his balls – but he wasn’t able to control it or hold it back. His cock twitched uncontrollably, one small rope of cum leaving the tip. “Ugh, look at that”, you sighed while shaking your head, sitting down deeper on his face – your ass now flat against his forehead as his tongue, the oh so famous rapper tongue, worked its wonders.

If Yoongi was frustrated, he didn’t show it. He knew better. Even though it was his first real orgasm in weeks, his first ruined orgasm in weeks, he stood up the man he was and continued what he was here for. Pleasuring his fiancé. Just before your orgasm arrived, you crawled down again, collecting the small puddle of cum with your tongue and fed it to your soon to be husband. You let him taste himself, he swallowed greedily. “Such a good boy”, you purr while wiping the sweat from his forehead. “Now, I hope you know who you belong to.” Yoongi just nods, licking his lips to still taste you. “Tell me who you belong to, Yoongi”, you command.

“You, babe. Only you. I belong to you”, Yoongi moans out as you started to grind against his smooth thigh, picking up your desired pace as you used him to satisfy your own desire. His hands were on your hips, guiding you and helping you to speed up, but just before your orgasm reached his peak, just one little rock of your hips missing, he turned you around, leaving you with a ruined orgasm as well. “Fucking son of a bi-“, your frustration interrupted by Yoongi’s teeth biting into your nipple, his hand smacking your other tit. “Oh, that’s not a nice word, baby”, he pouts while pinching both of your erect buds with a bit too much force. A sharp stinging sensation radiating through your body. “Fuck, Yoongi”, you moaned, desperate for release. “Now, now”, he tzed as he looked down at your trembling body. “Sucks to be played with, huh?” Elegant fingers started to rub circles into your swollen nub, your body rising from the mattress just to be pushed back by your fiancé. “Still”, he orders, plunging two of his long, delicate fingers into your dripping hole. Yet, you needed more. “Yoongi”, you whined. “Are you going to be a good girl now? Instead of a fucking brat?” “Yes!”, you cried out, tears running down your cheeks, hoping he’d just do something. “Good, because bad girls disgust me”, he spoke through clenched teeth as he pulled out his fingers and shoved his cock inside you within seconds. “Fuck fuck fuck, yes!”

“Shut up! Or do you want the boys to come in and join you, huh? You want our little Maknae see how stuffed you are?” Yoongi always knew about your affection for Jungkook, the way his doe eyes always make your heart jump, leaving it impossible to deny whatever he wanted from you while addressing you as his ‘favorite Noona’. You were weak for him, but you wouldn’t want him to see you in such a situation. Shaking your head in shame, you pout as you dig your heels into his ass to get him to move faster. “Make me cum, please. I love you”, you whine, word for word leaving your lips as he thrusts deep and powerful into your clenching hole. Just before another beg could leave your lips, Yoongi’s index finger slipped past them, your chin securely trapped between his thumb and middle finger. His other hand slowly found its place on your neck. “Look at you”, he smiles. “Such a good girl, knowing how to beg like a big girl.” You whimper again, squeezing around him as he slowed his pace with a devilish smirk. Your lips played with the tip of his finger while the thumb of his other hand came down to circle your clit painfully slow, spitting onto it and watching his finger mixing it with your arousal. Your eyes rolled into the back of your head, both of your hands gripping the wrist that was choking you. “Tighter, please”, you gasped out, enjoying the feeling of almost no air coming to your lungs. Oh, how Yoongi loved to see you struggle for air, just as much as you loved to be on the receiving end. “You gonna come for me, angel?”, he growled as he tightened his grip, already feeling his own orgasm approaching. “Going to cum around my thick cock, huh?” You nod, already seeing spots in your vision, your orgasm shooting through your body just like a firework as soon as Yoongi released you, allowing the blood to shoot back into your head. You couldn’t control your body anymore, gushing against him as you rode out your high with closed eyes. That alone triggered Yoongi’s orgasm, a loud scream leaving his lips as he finally released inside you. “Fuck, you squirted all over me”, he groaned while looking at the mess you made, his stomach glistering in your juices. “I don’t care, I want to snuggle my Grinch now”, you pouted with grabby hands, smiling happily as Yoongi obeyed.

“I think we lost the ring somewhere between our clothes”, Yoongi mumbles with his sleepy voice, “I hope Taehyung won’t find it, he was the one that chose it – ‘If Y/N says no, I’ll wear that one happily’.” Suddenly you’re wide awake, knees on the floor and digging through your clothes to find the symbol of your love. “Got it!”, you yelled as you threw it to Yoongi, holding your left hand in front of his face. “You’ve got the honor, babe.” Smiling, he slid the ring over your finger. The black diamonds sparkling in the dim light of your room, the rosé gold complimenting your skin tone perfectly, just like the man in front of you does. Your fiancé, soon to be husband, the love of your life. “Merry Christmas, love.”

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ehyeh-joshua · 3 years

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Understanding the coming 2021 Economic Crisis.

TL;DR - the banks and hedgefunds have been screwing the US economy over and merely repeating what happened in 2008 is a good outcome at this point, with the worst case scenario being the complete collapse of the United States Dollar, and with it the entire global economy.

It's not an accident that Bank of America and JPMorgan have both issued Bonds totalling $15 billion and $13 billion dollars - both record breaking amounts - at the same time Warren Buffet has sold 100% of his JPMorgan stock.

To explain why goes back into the history of Wall Street greed; for decades they have been targeting companies to short-sell their stock (where a share is borrowed and sold, and replaced later at the lower price, causing a profit of the sale of the original share minus the cost of the replacement share and the interest fees on the borrowed share, which can be more profitable than holding the share for the person being borrowed from) on a massive scale; the goal is to make the victim company into a worthless penny-stock, and then force the company into bankruptcy by not having enough liquidity to pay off things like toxic debt, default on issued bonds.

They will even do it to their own; this behaviour was what truly killed Lehmann Brothers and Bear Sterns - Wall Street made hundreds of millions of dollars shorting those two all the way to the ground. In total, they made well over a trillion dollars shorting businesses that went bankrupt as a result of 2008.

There are hundreds of public companies - especially brick and concrete building based companies - that are affected by this, right now, on the stock exchanges; they've been hit hard during the last year, and Wall Street is betting that they will fail between Covid and the shift to online retail.

Then the second side of the attack comes in - they will replace the old leadership with their own team and blame the previous team for all the problems, ride the short term boost in confidence, then control the collapse of the business.

And knowing that the business will go bankrupt makes it safe to do a much more risky and profitable version of short-selling - counterfeit short-selling.

The difference between the two is that in a normal short sell, there is a share that is actually borrowed from someone else in order to be sold; in a counterfeit short-sale, they get a friendly market-maker - a company with the authority to create counterfeit shares as a normal part of trading (make a million of these IOU shares, and fill them with a million real shares milliseconds later in order to create liquidity in a stock, which is hedged by the sale of calls and puts options) to create these counterfeit IOU shares.

They can do this because in the actual transaction, although the money transfers instantly the actual shares transfer on a T+2 settlement system (day of the trade, plus two days) - it's a relic of the old days when physical share certificates had to be moved around.

The IOU share is treated as a legal share - to all legal purposes, you own the share. This is not a "Contract for difference" arrangement, in which you are just betting on the stock going up; this IOU, this synthetic share, is a legal share that is meant to be replaced by the real share during the T+2 system. When it doesn't deliver, it is called an FTD; a 'Fail to deliver".

But it is a fake share - instead of there only being X shares in existence, there are now X+Y shares in existence. This devalues the stock due to increasing the supply.

This is why the news media is going on about meme-stocks - a bunch of 4Chan and Reddit "retarded apes" figured it out and YOLOed their savings on these stocks, and because they refuse to sell the stocks and have bought as many of these counterfeit shares as they can afford (and a few actual retards have bought more than they can afford) and now Wall Street has been caught counterfeiting at least 140% of the shares (the absolute minimum, based on SEC fillings for institutional ownership of GME stock, which necessarily does not include the retail investors) ever issued by GameStop. If you go through the SEC's published data on FTDs, you see that typically hundreds of thousands of shares have failed to deliver each day in the case of GameStop. Hundreds of thousands of fake shares that have been sold and are now trading on the market, in dark pools or sat in some Ape's account.

Now, GME is not going to crash the economy, and this is from someone who fully believes the hype about a million dollars a share not being a meme; there aren't nearly enough retarded apes to make it so big that the dollar will crash, although I do think that GME will temporarily cause the dollar to halve or drop to a third of present value before it all gets spent as apes pay taxes and buy Lambos and houses and continue to make the badly judged options bets that made r/WallStreetBets famous.

The real big nuke is that Wall Street has been shorting the US Treasury Bonds market. Worst case scenario is seven times more Treasury Bonds - especially the ten year Bond - are trading than were ever issued by the Federal Reserve. Best case scenario they've only managed to double the Bonds in existence.

To explain just how terrifying this is:

Imagine that you are a major bank. You need liquidity - you have customers in so many sectors that you have departments to track what departments you have covering different sectors of finance.

So, you use the Treasury Bond; they are backed by the government so they can't go wrong. You buy them when you have money, sell them when you need cash; these things trade typically in total values of trillions of dollars each day. The whole system works because Bank A borrows from Bank B to pay Bank C who owe a Bond to Bank D who need a Bond for Bank E who owe Bank A a Bond; all the time all the members stay afloat, they can play hot potato with the Bonds.

As soon as one goes down, the dominoes fall.

"But what on earth could take out a Bank?"

The Mother Of All Short Squeezes.

GameStop going boom to a thousand dollars a share might take out a single hedgefund, but the damage stops there. And back in January, $1k per share was a meme amount even to the most dedicated autistic retard ape. These days, the apes realise that the economy is as screwed as it was in 2008, and they are using GME to hedge against another global financial crash, which contributes to why they want millions - it's no longer about Lambos and YOLO options bets, but about making sure their families don't lose their homes when banks go boom and the housing market crashes because the bubble pops. Its about having support systems for people who will be left with nothing.

Back in January, apes thought that it was just Melvin Capital - a single, not particularly big hedgefund only worth ~$20 billion in Assets Under Management. Subsequently, they discovered how deep in this Citadel group are; a group of companies that is ultimately worth a trillion dollars and handles 46% of all trades on the New York Stock Exchange.

Citadel are backed by Goldman Sachs and JPMorgan. Bank of America is involved as part of their own short-selling position on GME.

When GME squeezes, the US stock market will crash as the Depository Trust Clearing Corporation margin call small fry like Melvin Capital, large players like Citadel and eventually major banks like Bank of America and JPMorgan. (Goldman Sachs have hedged their short position and will survive, the other two however...)

How do I know this?

Last week, the Biden administration appointed Gary Gensler - who oversaw the fallout from 2008 - to being the head of the Securities Exchange Commission; the organisation who regulates the US securities markets.

Six months ago, the Trump administration gave the US markets a respite on collateral to be deposited to be held to cover investments on margin.

The SEC has been kept up to date with the situation - once apes figured out that this was going to cause a 2008 style collapse they started sending it all in to the SEC; sure, they want Lambo and tendies, but they also want the economy to survive. They've watched The Big Short, and serveral times a day you'll see the Don't ****ing dance" quote cited because they've realised that they have discovered what Michael Burry found out back in 2005. They are terrified. I've had sleepless nights over the last month, and I'm long GME because I think it is the only hedge against the economic collapse that could be on it's way. I don't want to imagine what someone who knows about this stuff and isn't long GME is thinking.

What gives me hope is that the SEC are rapidly changing the rules - there have been three massive legal developments since I started following the situation - in order to contain the damage that can be done from GME going off. I believe that the SEC is coordinating with long institutional investors - particularly BlackRock and Fidelity - GameStop's leadership (who are pushing to turn the company around and need this dealt with so that they can move forward) crypto-currencies experts and the Federal government to ensure a situation where retail gets paid (roughly a hundred thousand Chinese people and a Chinese investment fund are long GME - the US government cannot afford to give the CCP the propaganda coup of betraying the principle of free markets, the US economy would never recover from the blow) and the system has a systemic crash this year and rebuilds much better now that a decades old criminal practice is gotten rid of and the shares system is converted to blockchain and instant settlement to make sure the factors that led to this disaster aren't repeated. I.e. I become a millionaire and retire at 28, buy the dip knowing that things are going to recover from a massive but temporary crisis.

A "normal" bad situation, where this does not completely worst nightmare wrong? I walk away from GME a billionaire, but a loaf of bread costs a million dollars.

Worst case? Well, the bit before Jesus' return in glorious victory is seven years of hell on earth, under an economy where no one can buy or sell without the beasts involvement. How you get that is you arrange a global financial crisis to bankrupt nations all over the world and make your centralised one world economy look like the saviour.

Whatever you do, don't rush to pull money out the banks - that only screws everything over guaranteed because if everyone has a run on the banks you immediately get a short squeeze on the Treasury Bonds, which nukes everything. If everyone pretends that life goes on as normal and the Fed gets away with giving Treasury Bonds to those who need them to complete their chains then only GME goes boom, and the economy survives, and therefore hundreds of thousands of people will not lose their jobs and houses. But they need GME to go boom so that they can use it as a cover story so that they can get away with covering up the Treasury Bonds problem.

As always, none of this is financial advice, and while I'm not a cat, I'm also not a financial advisor, and this is written by a guy who has 19 tickets on rocket built by self-proclaimed retarded apes knowing he only knows of one actual physicist among them, having YOLOed his savings on hope that his affordable investment won't lose value even in the event of 10,000% inflation.

This is going to be my last post on the subject, because frankly, I'm scared. I've seen the Cthulhuoid monster lurking in the depths, and I hope and pray I'm wrong.

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valkyriesryde · 5 years

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Beautiful Soul

Pairing: Bucky x Reader

Summary: The team decides to let loose after a rough few months with some singing and some alcohol, what could possibly happen ;)

Warnings: swearing, alcohol consumption, bit of fluff and pining

A/N: it took me so long to decide if I wanted this to be emotional or fun and light but every karaoke au i read the songs are slow and sad and I wanted a bit of a change and my friends and I decided Beautiful Soul by Jesse McCartney. ENJOY

Masterlist

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

It’d been an emotionally and physically draining few months for the Avengers. Everyone had missions up to their eyeballs and if they weren’t out in the field they were stuck under piles of research or surveillance work. Finally, after the long sleepless nights the overall objective was complete, and the team could relax. Everyone was exhausted, one more week and they would have been down each other’s throats.

There had already been several examples of members lashing out. The most recent was when Natasha threw a cup of yogurt at Tony because he happened to walk in and start talking to her while she was in the kitchen. Was it too much to ask for some time to yourself for once in this godforsaken place?!?

It was safe to say that the Avengers needed some sort of release. Ideas had been bouncing about on how they should celebrate the end of the gruesome missions however nothing stuck.

The most common came from people like Sam, Thor and Tony…get absolutely sloshed and have a party. They were always shot down, the rest of the team not wanting to deal with the clean up or other people for that matter.

Another common suggestion came from Wanda and Bruce, they suggested a horror movie marathon with snacks and drinks (alcoholic optional). Bruce’s reasoning was that horror movies had been proven to provide a cathartic release most efficiently compared to other genres of movies. Wanda also made sure to mention that everyone would be too busy belittling the characters to think about how exhausted they were. It was a good idea, but there were too many PTSD ridden people in the building to create a safe enough list for them watch so it was quickly pushed aside.

It wasn’t until the day after their target had been eliminated that a decision had finally been made and Tony was quick to get everything in order so the team could celebrate as soon as possible.

It had just been a passing comment, in fact, Tony couldn’t actually remember who had said it and no one would confess. Someone had mentioned to him in the midst of everything that they just needed to pick something fun. That’s when the spark went off in Tony’s mind and as soon as he had settled back at the compound, he was booking out an entire bar for the following week. He refused to tell anyone what his plan was, only Rhodey knew and that was only because they had a deal that Tony would keep no secrets from him.

The team had specific instructions before they set off. They were to dress nicely, but comfortably. They had to attend. They had to take part.

Tony’s plans were the talk of the week as everyone took the chance to relax and get back some time to themselves that had previously been lost. Soon enough though the night came around and the team were piling into the three separate cars and making their way into town.

As they pulled up to the bar in the city no one thought much of it. There had been a couple comments here and there amongst the group, Thor suggested maybe Tony had decided to go with their original idea, Natasha warned him that surely there was something more going on, they weren’t just here to get drunk and party.

Her warning was proved somewhat wrong when they all filed into the bar one after another, it was a small bar, worn out booths with a few tables scattered around the place. They noted the lack of staff around almost as soon as they walked in, seemingly looking over what Tony and told Rhodey was his masterpiece.

“We’ve got the place to ourselves!” he exclaimed jumping onto the small stage and gesturing his arms out towards the room, “you’re all also looking over our entertainment for the evening.” There was a sparkle in his eye and a smirk on his face as he caught everyone’s attention.

“It’s not you is it?” Steve yelled out as he followed Sam behind the bar to start handing out drinks.

“No, it’s no - that’s not very nice you know Captain,” Steve just shook his head in response. “Our entertainment is this!” Tony pointed towards the machine that stood to his side on the stage, the large machine, from the back, looked like nothing special, a metal box really, the noteworthy feature of this metal box was the two microphones that sat on each side of it.

“Karaoke?” Clint raised his brow, “I’m gonna need a stronger drink than this,” he shoved the beer back to Sam who quickly replaced it with a line of tequila shots along the bar.

“Mate we all are.”

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

The party was in full swing, it took a few rounds of shots and pestering for the karaoke to begin but soon enough the music was turned off and the machine was started up. Sam and Clint belted out Bohemian Rhapsody together, Wanda, Clint and Natasha decided that they couldn’t NOT sing We Are the Champions. After about four rounds of Asgardian alcohol Steve was pushed onto the stage to sing his heart out to Party in the USA.

Everybody was singing and dancing and having a fabulously buzzed time. Then there was Bucky. Bucky was not a party man, with or without the mounds of strangers Tony would bring to his parties he just couldn’t find himself enjoying them. Bucky would much rather be at home drinking and chatting with his friends than dancing and singing in this sticky bar. That’s why he was sat in the booth at the back of the bar facing the stage, watching his friends sing along to whoever was on stage off key and out of sync.

He slumped back into the booth, sipping on his drink as he watched Tony serenade Pepper with some song he didn’t know. His peace was interrupted when Sam and Y/N came crashing into the booth on either side of him.

“Hey Bucko,” beamed Sam.

“Buckaroo” laughed Y/N. Bucky rolled his eyes, but he couldn’t hold back a smile or the laugh that escaped him as his drunk friends doubled over in laughter at the nickname.

“I’m glad you two are having so much fun,” he shook his head as Sam took a swig of his drink and Y/N leaned closer to him.

“We’re playing a game Buck,” Sam smiled at Y/N as she shot up from her spot on Bucky’s shoulder, as soon as she moved he felt a chill sweep through him.

“It is not we, it is you,” she turned her attention to Bucky and threw an accusing finger at Sam, “he’s trying to get me drunk Bucky!”

“Doll, I’m afraid you’re already drunk,” Bucky looked at the girl who sat next to him with a shocked expression on her face, her body turned completely towards him.

“I can’t believe you would say that,” she turned back to Sam, “it’s your fault isn’t it!”

“Hey! I merely offered the drink, you’re the one that took it!” Sam slurred out matter-of-factly. Y/N nodded and hummed in reluctant agreement, she relaxed back down into the booth and leaned her head back on Bucky’s shoulder.

Bucky looked down at the girl on her shoulder who was softly singing along to whoever was on stage now, a small smile found its way onto his face until he thought about what they were actually talking about and his eyebrows furrowed slightly.

“Was the whole game to get her drunk? Dude,” Bucky looked at Sam with a disappointed face, you don’t just go around getting girls drunk for the fun of it.

“No,” Sam’s eyes darted to Bucky and back to the stage, “well maybe but she challenged me to it!”

“Please do tell me more.”

“I asked what drunk Y/N was like because none of us have ever met her and Y/N said, and I quote, ‘if you can get me drunk I’ll gladly introduce you’” he put on his best impression of Y/N and shrugged his shoulders like it was no big deal. Bucky couldn’t help but laugh, it was kinda funny okay, he had to admit that.

“And what did you find out you idiot?”

“Yea Sam, what’d you find,” Y/N slurred out softly, sitting up again and raising her eyebrows at Sam who stuck his tongue out towards her.

“You’re you, but like, times ten and giggly,” this caused an eruption of giggles from Y/N in her drunken state and a laugh from both the men, he wasn’t wrong. “Now if you excuse me, I have a song to sing” Sam jumped up from his seat and ran towards the stage.

“You don’t want to go join him?” Bucky asked twirling the glass in his hands as he avoided her eye.

“Nah, I’m good here,” Y/N smiled sweetly at him before leaning her elbows in the desk and watching Sam get the dance floor’s attention.

“I would like to dedicate this song to my main man!” Sam pointed towards Steve, “this ones for you spangled man with a plan!” The whole room started cheering and laughing, even Steve laughed as they all started singing along with Sam.

“Why are mopping back here Bucky?” The pair turned their attention away from Sam dragging Steve onto stage to finish the song and to each other, Y/N leaned forward on her elbows towards Bucky, he tried not to lean further towards her, he tried to push the feeling of wanted to be as close to her as possible deep down.

“Not a fan of parties,” he shrugged. She thought for a minute, eyeing him skeptically before humming.

“Not a fan of karaoke?” She smiled at him with the playful look in her eyes that he couldn’t resist, and Bucky could only swallow down a mouthful of his drink and nod. “Is it because you haven’t had a song dedicated to you yet Buck? There’s no need to be moping because of that,” Bucky rolled his eyes and opened his mouth to talk but the sudden applause interrupted him, and they looked over to see Sam and Steve bowing and leaping off the stage.

“I call next!” Y/N called out as she stood up but quickly leaned down to Bucky, “don’t worry Buck, I’ll dedicate my song to ya,” she winked and skipped off towards the stage. Bucky watched her jump on and select the song, she didn’t even have to think about what she was picking she already knew the perfect song to sing.

Bucky didn’t have enough time to process what she was on about. He wasn’t quite sure why it was such a bad thing that he hadn’t had a song dedicated to him. He didn’t mind it. He was more focused on the fact that she’d run away just as fast as she’d arrived at his booth and he hadn’t wanted her to leave. He knew though, as was with all of his friends, there’s no way to control them when there’s alcohol in their systems. As long as their safe, and happy, which they were.

Y/N wasn’t quite thinking as clearly as she would have liked when she ran up to the stage and selected the song she wanted. Her one thought process, the conclusion she had come to all by herself, was that Bucky was moping because no one had sung for him and he wasn’t enjoying himself. So she was determined to make a change of that. Y/N looked out to the other end of the room and meet Bucky’s eye. He had a wide smile on his face as he watched her, and he raised an eyebrow as the music began. All she could do was give him a smirk and bring the microphone up towards her.

“This is for my favourite super soldier with the long hair and the bright blue eyes!” she winked at him.

As soon as the music started everyone in the room began whooping and cheering. Y/N stepped to the edge of the stage and held her hand up towards the crowd.

“I don’t want another pretty face,” she screwed her eyes shut and brought her fist towards her stomach dramatically, “I don’t want just anyone to hold,” she opened her eyes and scanned the room, Sam and Clint were wrapped in each other’s arms serenading one another, Tony was pulling Pepper towards the dance floor and giving her a spin. “I don’t want my love to go to waste,” she looked towards Bucky, her movements and her voice getting more and more dramatic with every movement, but her eyes were locked with his as she sang the next line, pointing a finger directly at him.

“I JUST WANT YOU AND YOUR BEAUTIFUL SOUL!!!” the room all shouted in unison.

The song continued and everybody got louder and louder as it went. Y/N felt like she was back in her childhood bedroom, jumping on her bed with a hairbrush microphone with her friends all singing along with over dramatic gestures and their entire soul going into the performance. This really was just the adult version of that.

Bucky watched Y/N dance around the stage singing the song he’d never heard before but deciding it was his new favourite. He laughed every time she pointed towards him, singing just for him. He listened to the lyrics, oh he wanted so badly for there to be truth behind those lyrics she sung to him. He watched her movements slow as she pushed her tangled her back from her face and then held the microphone with both her hands, her eyes not once leaving him as she beamed.

“Am I crazy for wanting you? Baby do you think you could want me too?” he wanted so badly for her to mean those words, he wanted so badly to run up to her on that stage and kiss her like his life depended on it because he did want her too.

Y/N’s eyes darted away from Bucky when she started the chorus again, she tried to push back the butterflies in her stomach from having his eyes glued so tightly to her. She tried to ignore what the song actually meant, this was just fun, it was a throwback song that was just a little bit of fun at a karaoke party. Right? Right?!?

As she came to the end of the song Y/N tried to immerse herself in it, she felt the music flow through her, she felt the alcohol running through her veins, she pushed back any feelings for Bucky that sat in her mind and focused completely on the song and her friends dancing and singing with her.

The song came to an end everybody burst into cheers and applause. Bucky stood up from his seat in the booth and moved to stand in front of it, joining in on the applause smiling at the girl he was so head over heels for. He watched her jump off the stage and stumble before catching herself and being enveloped by Natasha and Rhodey, he watched her high five Wanda and Clint as she made her way through the crowd and he watched her as she stepped up to him giggling.

“Did you enjoy your song Bucky?” Y/N mirrored his stance, arms crossed, shoulders back, smile sitting ear to ear.

“You put on quite a show Y/N” Bucky dropped his arms and stepped closer towards her, stuffing his hands in his pockets.

“Well,” she placed her hands on her hips and looked up at Bucky who flicked his tongue along his bottom lip, “I do aim to please.”

Bucky let out a deep chuckle, he pulled her by the wrist back to the booth before walking towards the bar and getting them both another drink.

“You gonna get out there before the nights over?” Y/N bumped her shoulder against Bucky’s after a few minutes of comfortable silence between the two.

“No way in hell,” he laughed looking back at her.

“Damn, was hoping you’d dedicate one to me,” she gave Bucky a smirk over the brim of her glass, “it’s the least you could do.”

“I can thank you in other ways,” Bucky mustered up whatever confidence he had in him, Y/N put her glass down and turned her body so she faced him fully.

“And how are you going to do that?” she leaned on her head on the booth, waiting for Bucky to make a move, any move.

He didn’t give her an answer, not a vocal one and not at first. Bucky chuckled softly and reached up to place his hand on her cheek, moving it across her skin to the back of her neck. He leaned in closer to her as she stayed in place biting her lip. Bucky brushed his nose against the side of Y/N’s, he had a small smile on his face when he noticed her cheeks turn pink at such a small action.

“I’ve got a few things up my sleeve,” he whispered before closing the gap between them. Their kiss was gentle and quick. She could taste the mixture of Asgardian liquor and the bitterness of beer on his lips but it wasn’t long enough or deep enough for her to remember the taste or feel it on her tongue. When he pulled back he didn’t move far and opted to rest his head on the booth next to hers.

“If that’s how I’m thanked after one song I wonder what another will get me,” she whispered, they kept their voices quiet, no one else needed to hear them.

“Guess you’ll have to sing me another one to find out,” he smiled, he kept his hand at the back of her neck, his fingers tangling themselves in her hair.

“I’ll need to finish my drink before you get another song out of me Buckaroo,” Y/N laughed and sat up, Bucky’s hand fell from her hair and he picked up his own drink, his other hand moved to wrap around her waist lightly.

“I think I’m starting to enjoy this whole karaoke thing,” he smiled at her from behind his drink. He’d let her sing every song under the sun for him up on that godforsaken stage if it meant getting to kiss her again.

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Thank you for reading, I hope you enjoyed it and requests are open!

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movedvalkyriesryde · 5 years

Text

Beautiful Soul

Pairing: Bucky x Reader

Summary: The team decides to let loose after a rough few months with some singing and some alcohol, what could possibly happen ;)

Warnings: swearing, alcohol consumption, bit of fluff and pining

Requested by @turquoisekokiri

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It was safe to say that the Avengers needed some sort of release. Ideas had been bouncing about on how they should celebrate the end of the gruesome missions however nothing stuck.

The most common came from people like Sam, Thor and Tony...get absolutely sloshed and have a party. They were always shot down, the rest of the team not wanting to deal with the clean up or other people for that matter.