#well. it's really nub's audio
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Fun fact: when the prologue for Bringer of Darkness is finished, it's being dubbed by @blud3vi1! Blu is a close friend of mine and was interested in dubbing the comic when I showed it to him! :3
The voice for Exnic is "Mr. Nub Productions" on YouTube, a different friend of ours who is a VERY talented individual. We spent a couple hours yesterday talking and pinning it down, and this is what we got!
This clip was recorded after our little discussion so I could test how the filter would sound on it — and as you can tell, Exnic's accent is staying! (I asked Blu if I could handle editing Exnic/Nub's audio when it actually gets dubbed. From what I remember, he agreed. :3)
(though, tbh, everyone working on this dub is talented and knows what they're doing, blu especially. i'm happy he's letting me help out in some ways, and that this dub for BoD is in good hands :D)
Whenever I read dialogue for Exnic in my @bringerofdarkness-fancomic out loud, this is the voice I apparently use for him. I was also futzing about with filters/effects, so hope you can tolerate it and the accent i was pulling for him <:3
(I also have one clip where I read all his lines in the comic and it'd probably give you a better idea of his range, but it naturally contains spoilers so I can't share it for now <':D)
#personal reblog#zeisty's audio#well. it's really nub's audio#but that's a tag for any audio I post so. yeh! :D#nub asked me if it was okay to record a jokey clip. I was losing my mind while listening to it with the filter on /pos#it was the pissing on the moon monologue#y'know. i've come to make an announcement: shadow the hedgehog is a bitchass motherfucker-#bringer of darkness fancomic#bringer of darkness au#sonic.exe au#dude I was SO PLEASED when we actually pinned this down#I was genuinely like ''THAT'S HIM!! THAT'S HIS VOICE!!!"#so I'm really happy I get to help out with this dub in some way#kinda my way of thanking blu and everyone else for dubbing some of my murder drones comics :3
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i am 24 and want the same life style... how did u do it?
I started very young with a porn addiction, and realized I found it very hot that I was addicted. I eventually stumbled across gooner porn! I would recommend getting into that first, getting used to gooning for hours on end, every single day, edging yourself stupid. Make sure to watch as much hypno as possible as well, and some JOIs (jerk off intructions, in case you're unaware) for good measure. Shibby is one of my favorites for hypnosis, but for gooner hypno specifically there's plenty of sites. Goon constantly and listen to lewd hypno audio files in public, until all you think about at all times is porn. (Stay safe with this, only do these things in public if you know it will be safe, and you won't actually be disturbing others. It's about the risk, not the exposure itself!) Learn to cum from anal too, buy some buttplugs, dildos, prostate massagers, some good lube, (I recommend Passion numbing lube,) and maybe a douche for cleaning yourself out beforehand. Eventually I would discover chastity on accident, but it doesn't have to be for you. Buy a nice cage, start bigger and slowly work your way to cute little nub cages. Anti pullouts are important! You can get spiked ones if you're into that as well, though I personally wouldn't recommend wearing them for very long periods of time. The smaller your endgame, the better, but don't make it permanent until you're truly comfortable with the one you choose. No pinching or anything like that. Make sure it's easy to piss though it too. I think being locked up after you're used to constantly gooning is one of the sweetest forms of denial you could possible feel. But that doesn't need to stop you! Get a nice vibrator, any will do, and learn to cum in chastity! It can hurt a bit, but I find there to be no better feeling! I broke my keys and have been permalocked for as long as I've had this account, and I've loved every second! I've come to prefer being in chastity personally. If you prefer, you can find yourself a keyholder, but it's not entirely necessary. It just makes things easier to not cheat. Keep watching porn, but instead of stroking, you're gooning with a vibrator! That's the locked gooner side, the findom stuff is optional and usually reserved for wealthier crowds, and the sissy stuff, you just have to find your own style and tastes really. I wanted to wear girly clothes before I even knew about any of this, and later discovered myself to be nonbinary, but all of that boils down to searching deep within yourself and knowing who you truly want to be. Shave, go thrifting for clothes, learn to sound and act however makes you feel happiest. One more thing, weed makes everything better! But don't get in trouble over it, make sure it's legal, or at least that you don't get in trouble over it. The most important rule of all though, is to always love yourself before anything else, and NEVER, EVER do anything you don't want to do. Hope this helps!
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[AUDIO RECORDING ATTACHED TO REPORT SUBMTED BY MATRON GATE COMMUNICATIONS TOWER]
RECEIVED BY: Matron Gate
SENT BY: UNKNOWN
DATE: 143/73 NC
TIME: Ert- 3:17AM UTC
[START TRANSCRIPTION]
> Sender (S): *Static* -work? *Static* Light? But - *Prolonged static*
> Operator 1 (O1): Hey, someone’s on your channel. Pick it up, the static drives me nuts.
> Operator 2 (O2): Who could possibly be trying to reach us right now? *Chair squeaks and machine clicks* This is Matron Gate under the authority of the EUC, identify yourself.
> S: *Static* All it does is -*Static*
> O2: I repeat, this is Matron Gate. Under the authority of the EUC, identify yourself.
> S: *Static* -it? Oh. There we go. Uh - hello! This is - um. [distant:] Hey! What am I supposed to say?... “Anything” doesn’t help! [clear:] Well whatever, here we go. Hello, this is an audio diary. The jackass over there said keeping records is important, so we will be chronicling whatever needs... chronicling. Though I’m not -
> O2: Hello? Can you hear me? This is an official channel. Disconnect from -
> S: - sure what would be worthwhile. Uh, lets see... we are currently in a room. And it is dark. I’m doing this wrong, aren’t I?
> O2: - this channel immediately. I repeat this is an -
> S: Mmm... I guess you aren’t wrong. Wait no - was that recorded? No no no how do you delete? *Metal hitting metal*
> O2: -official channel, switch - Hey? Hello? Can you hear me? Boss, I need a little help here. I don’t think these guys can hear me.
> S: *metal hitting metal continues, indistinct shouting in the background.*
> O1: Just close the channel, it isn’t even that important.
> O2: You sure? I’m not going to take responsibility for that.
> O1: What? It’s your channel, of course it’s your responsibility.
> O2: Nope. No way. There’s no way I am telling the Chief that I turned off an official channel.
> S: *Arguing gets clearer* I will not have the first words of this journal be, “you’re right!”
> O1: She isn’t that scary kid. Put on your holster and tell it to her straight.
> O2: She definitely is that scary. Tell her yourself. You put on your holster.
> S: *Arguing and hitting stops* From the top. This is a record of a couple of morons in the Drifting City.
> O1: Fine, keep it open. Turn the volume down and run a trace on them, file a report it after you get a location.
>O2: Alright, I’ll do that. Starting trace.
> S: We found this recording device in a storage room near the bridge, where we currently are. The bridge that is. Jackass over here is acting like a smartass now, saying there’s probably important stuff here but all we’ve found is broken, unidentifiable or both. It’s not like we’re engineers. Hmmm... what else? What’s even worth talking about? My shoes suck. Worn through the soles ages ago, I think I’m going to wear through my feet next. Walking around with nubs like one of those V-Models. Jackass hasn’t had shoes for a while now. Oh right. My left arm is busted, so that is something we’re looking out for though there isn’t going to a fix anywhere around here. There’s gotta be a place that could help but it’s not like we know where we’re going. Of course there’s the chance that place is busted up too. We can worry about that later, it’s not -
> O2: How far out are they? The trace hasn’t come back with anything yet.
> O1: They said they’re at the Drifting City. Maybe that’s an orbiter? Or one of those caravan groups?
> S: a problem really. It’s been years so I’ve basically adapted. Having two arms might actually throw me off. [Distant voice] That doesn’t mean we’re gonna stop looking! Jackass is heartless by the way. All he cares about are ships. He was a pilot once or something. Next time he want’s to tell that story I’m just gonna hand over the recorder, if I hear it one more time I’ll have to remove my own ears. Sorry, but you guys are the suckers that’ll deal with it. And well... I suppose that’s it for now. I don’t have much to say at the moment so I guess I’ll make another recording when something interesting happens. Uhhhmmm... yeah. The end. [Sender leaves the channel]
> O1: Whelp, there they go, did the trace finish? ... Hello? Did you find out where they are?
> O2: Boss...
> O1: You’re freaking me out, kid.
> O2: ...They aren’t anywhere in the Belt.
> O1: What?
> O2: They are further out than... any settlement I know of.
> O1: Maybe they’re at some kind of outpost? There are a couple small ones as far out as Titan. Or what about some kind of jammer hiding their location?
> O2: ... I don’t know. Jammers can hide their location but it’s pretty obvious when one is being used and I am not getting any signs of that here.
> O1: An outpost then?
> O2: It would have to be, but why would their contact be here and not a closer orbiter or city or something?
> O1: What do you think it is then?
> O2: ... I’m going to report this, someone from the Expedition Department might be more familiar with long range communications.
> O1: Eh, suit yourself. Don’t forget to take the room recording with you.
> O2: Right, will do... wait, the entire room recording? Even when we we talking about the Chief?
> O1: You can cut out those parts, that isn’t necessary for a report.
[END TRANSCRIPTION]
[REMINDER: All recordings submitted with a report and/or with a request must be unedited for the report and/or request to be considered valid.]
#story#write#writer#writing#writer on tumblr#fiction#scifi#sci fi#science fiction#mystery#dialogue#character dialogue#comedic dialogue#funny dialogue#transcription#audio transcription#audio log#funny characters
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what is slow, gentle, romantic sex like with the blue lock guys? gotta combine that fluff + smut
contains kunigami rensuke, chigiri hyoma, nagi seichiro, raichi jingo, baro shoei, kira ryousuke
tw overstimulation, minors dni
✰ KUNIGAMI has his fingers tangled with yours as he gives you slow, deep thrusts, making sure to give as much pressure to your clit as he can each time he bottoms out. he loves sucking your tits and mouthing at them, pinching your nipples, having them rub against his pecs as he gets as close as possible. has your ass on a pillow so he can really fuck you with all his body weight, switching out the slow and deep for shallow thrusts every once in a while to watch you cry yourself hoarse calling his name, begging him to be deeper. "'s it, pretty baby, beg like you mean it. gon' make you feel good."
✰ CHIGIRI loves letting you lay on your stomach and him on top, leaning over you. he leans down to nudge your cheek and kiss you deeply, swallowing your noises perfectly. the slow and precise pap, pap, pap of his hips against your ass, pulling out sometimes to push his thumb into you and rub two fingers hard and fast over your clit, just to watch your pussy drool all over his hand. could cum just seeing your cunny flutter as you whine for him. "you look like you're gonna cum. should i make you, angel?"
✰ NAGI will fuck you gentle and slow a lot, loves having you in his lap and needing his attention. he'll get you to rub yourself against his hard cock yourself though, only helping your hips along a little as you bump the swollen head against your clit again and again, moaning desperately. a hand in your hair and tugging your head back so he can watch your tits bounce as you get more and more desperate to have his cock inside you before either of you come. "keep going, doll, hng-t-that's a good baby. keep going."
✰ RAICHI gets his slow moments when he has your back to his chest and is holding you up against him, grunting softly and kissing all along the stretch of your neck. it's all noises, very little words as he fucks up into you, feeling you drip down his cock and balls, down his thighs. loves getting you messy, definitely when you cry his name in that soft, desperate little tone. it's the rolls of his hips against you and the shallow breathing focussing on giving you all the pleasure. "so good, s'good. like that, hm?"
✰ BARO has his mouth locked around that sensitive nub and two fingers curling so deep inside you, one arm locked over your hips to keep you right up against that wet, swift tongue. loves making you get loud and messy, coaches noise out of you so easily. he loves making you watch him as he slides into you too, thumbing your clit. but most of all, he loves when you dig your nails into his shoulders so he can whisper how good you look. "look at me, princess. you're taking me so fucking well- ah."
✰ KIRA adores missionary where he can watch the expressions you make as he slowly bottoms out, caressing every part of you. he'll let you sniffle into the crook of his neck, moan his name again and again and again with the rhythm he sets. he can keep going for so long too, overstimulating himself just for your pleasure. when he starts getting close his thrusts become faster and harder, chasing that high for a bit longer, a bit more inside your warmth, folding up your legs so he can rub your clit. "ah, baby, baby- gonna cum. cum for me, bunny, cum on my cock."
All Rights Reserved © KUNIGAMIIS 2021, Works are exclusive to kunigamiis on Tumblr. No replication consisting of copying, extracting, translating, audio fanfics etc. permitted.
#blue lock smut#kunigami#chigiri#nagi#raichi#baro#kira ryousuke#kunigami smut#chigiri smut#nagi smut#bllk#bllk.txt
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This was a request you can find here. It was meant to be a shorter 1k drabble but it ran away from me since i liked the idea so much.
Rating: E
Hizashi x F! Reader
Word Count: 2.3K
Warnings for: audio exhibitionism, dubcon, slight regular exhibitionism, piercings galore, unprotected sex, oral sex (female receiving), as always if I missed something please let me know!
Hizashi always had such a way with words.
Ever since you’d met him way back in high school- he was so smooth talking, so very confident in himself and what he was saying that it was almost too easy to find yourself wrapped up in whatever he was saying. It’s how you now found yourself naked on the small couch that resides in the recording studio inside his home. He’s got three long fingers inside of you already, assuring you that you’ll need to be this prepared to take his cock.
He strips himself once he’s wrung two orgasms out of you already, and once you get an eyeful of how long his cock is, in all it’s pierced glory, you think two might still not be enough. He sits down on the couch, letting you straddle him with shaky legs. One of his hands holds you steady on your waist, the other lines himself up with your weeping slit. You can feel the head of him rub through your juices, nudge at your clit, causing you to jump. He rubs himself around it once, until you finally break and beg for him.
“‘Zashi, please, fuck me,” Your words trail off into a whine as he suddenly thrusts himself up into you. Your legs give out, but he doesn’t seem to mind. He uses the wiry muscles he keeps hidden in his hero outfit to manhandle you the way he wants. He bounces you up and down and you can feel the once cold mental of his piercing stimulating you. His noises are minimum, save for a couple of soft moans. You, on the other hand, can’t seem to shut up- haven’t been able to all night, not with the way Hizashi has been pleasuring you.
“Oh god, oh god, please, right there,” You babble, hands gripping onto his shoulders tightly. “You feel so good, Hizashi!”
“Call me by my hero name, baby,” He says. It throws you for a loop for a brief moment but you continue on anyways. Some heroes like that, you figure, though you’re not quite sure why.
“Present Mic!” His hero name leaves your mouth in nearly a scream, and you can see the smile on his face now. He grinds himself up into you, feeling larger than life in so many ways. You think the tip of his cock might brush your cervix, but his long, nimble fingers find your clit before you can spare too many thoughts. He rubs a circle around it one, two, three times, and then it’s all over for you. You’re cumming around him, pussy squeezing him so tightly it’s almost painful for the both of you. You keep moaning out his hero name though, just as he requested.
His fingers stop moving around your clit, though they don’t leave it yet. He waits for a moment, still buried inside of you, for you to stop trembling in his arms. Once you seem well enough to continue you he does just that, moving you down underneath him and continuing to fuck you until you’re squirting around him. Only then does he finally, finally pull out and cum himself, all over you.
Through it all you never notice the red light on the recording station.
Truth be told, you hadn’t really thought you’d hear from Hizashi again.
It’s not as if he was the type to hit it and quit it, as some might say, but you had barely spoken to him in high school. You had only occasionally spoken after it. You figured the night you spent together was just him trying to get some sort of itch out of his system, perhaps a small crush he wanted to explore but didn’t really have the time for.
It’s why his text message to you is so shocking. He’s having a party, he tells you, to celebrate the release of his new song (you hadn’t realized he had put one out recently). Not only are you invited, no he wants you to be the guest of honor! You’re not the type to look a gift horse in the mouth, especially not when it comes to an infamous Present Mic party. You dutifully clear your schedule for the next day at work even, having heard enough stories to make you realize you might need to sleep it off.
The night rolls around, and you go all out when you doll yourself up for it. A nice, skin tight dress in your favorite color, heels to match. You take extra care with your makeup, though you know the lights will be too dim to truly appreciate it. Hizashi is even so nice to send a car for you, something that makes you feel truly like a celebrity. You get there with ease, grabbing a drink from the bar as soon as you arrive for some liquid courage. You don’t know a lot of the people there- or, well, anybody besides Hizashi, you realize as you look around the packed venue.
There’s posters all around with the single’s cover art. Just a woman’s lips, painted red and open in the most obscene way, with Present Mic written in cursive script on the tongue. Not your usual sort of thing, but apparently it’s Hizashi’s. You awkwardly down your first drink and are halfway through the second when he finally finds you.
“Sorry to keep you waiting little listener!” His arms wrap around you easily, like you two were the closest of friends. He pulls you close, pressing a kiss to your cheek, which you can feel heat up. “Come on, I wanted to give you a private listen first!” Something about it nagged in the back of your mind but you allowed yourself to be drug away, to the back of the venue. There’s a small private room there, what you thought at first glance might be a security booth. There was one glass wall, darkened so you couldn’t see into the room but you could easily see out.
It was almost too lush in the room for you. Despite it being in the back of what was essentially a club, it looked like it was made for sin. There was an overly large couch pushed to the back, all dark red velvet and big enough for multiple people to lay down on. The room was barely lit, and there was a stripper pole on a raised platform in the middle of it. You shot a questioning glance back to Hizashi but he just ushered you in and closed the door behind him, locking it when your back was turned.
“This is certainly fancier than the last room you had me in,” You blame the alcohol you’ve consumed for the poor phrasing of it all but if Hizashi notices anything weird he doesn’t mention it. He sits next to you on the couch, so close your bodies are pressed together- thigh to thigh, arm to arm. You can feel yourself heat up in other places when you feel his skin on yours. He’s pulling his phone out though, along with tugging a pair of little earbuds out. He offers them both to you, and without question you place them both into your ears. They block out the world immediately, until you can only hear your own breathing.
Slowly the music starts to trickle in through them, first the low rumble of the bass before a voice breaks through it. It was a female voice, distorted but still recognizable to you. The woman was screaming Present Mic over and over, and there was just enough of noise in the background to let the listener know exactly why she was screaming it.
It was your voice.
Despite the embarrassment that slammed into you like a truck, you could feel yourself growing wet between your thighs. This was apparently what Hizashi had wanted from you- to hear you in your most intimate moments so he could use it for his music. Part of you felt violated, he hadn’t even asked if you would be okay with this! You yanked one ear bud out, hearing the music out of it still. Before you could open your mouth to argue his mouth was on yours, his hands pressing you back against the couch.
Your hands come up to curl around his shoulders, trying hard to push him off of you, but his arms hold you close to him. His mouth leaves yours to kiss and suck down your neck. You can’t seem to twist away from him, not at this angle. He’s pressed you back all the way now, laying you down flat.
“Stop, Hizashi!” Your words lack bite when he sucks a hickey onto your collarbone, drawing a moan out of you as well. “This is serious! You should have asked me!” Your words seem to have no effect on him, and how could they? Your body is reacting against you, writhing underneath him, legs spreading as much as they can to accommodate him. Your hands are pulling him closer rather than pushing him away.
“Let me make it up to you, then,” He mumbles against your skin, and moves so quickly you miss what he does. He’s down between your legs in a flash, hiking your skirt up and yanking your underwear down. Your eyes dart nervously over to the glass wall but nobody seems to be looking at you. You bite your lip, lost in thought as Hizashi stares up at you. He waits, though you watch his tongue flash out to lick his lips. You push aside any of your doubts, knowing you can bring them up later. One deep inhale and you spread your legs for him.
It’s all the consent he needs, diving into your cunt like a man starved. He used his fingers to spread you open for him, pressing his lips to your clit, his tongue rolling the sensitive nub around, letting you feel the piercing as you had before. Your legs kick out in pleasure, as it runs through you like a lightning bolt. It was hard to be mad at him when he was able to draw you to orgasm so quickly. The knot that you felt forming in your stomach was already beginning to fray.
And, once he slid his tongue into you, pressing u p with that little metal ball right over your sweet spot, you’re gone. Your back arches, hands scrambling for purchase on the couch, in his hair, in your own, wherever you can grip. Distantly, you can still hear the one earbud still playing the music, but it’s unintelligible to you now. Your own moans are increasing in volume, as Hizashi doesn’t stop moving his tongue inside of you. Your hand finds its way to cover your mouth, trying to hold it all in but Hizashi doesn’t let you.
“Take your hand away from your mouth, now,” It’s a demand, and the coldest you’ve ever heard his voice. It’s intense, and sends a shiver down your spine. You hesitate to obey him, eyes flicking over again to the people just outside the room but he doesn’t back down, “Let me hear your noises. They’ll think it’s the song.” Once both your hands are tangled into his hair he returns to what he was doing, letting you grind down on his face. You feel his mouth move back up your clit, pulling it between his lips again and then there’s… a sensation of vibration. You feel the small piercing pressed up against you but it seems to be shaking, and all rational thought flees your head as it does. You can feel this orgasm rush out of you, juices covering his face, your thighs, the couch beneath you. He keeps it up until you beg for him to stop.
He barely gives you a breather, pulling his cock out before crawling over you. He grabs the back of your knees, pushing your legs forward until they meet your chest. He’s able to slide into you with no resistance, your tight heat sucking him in as he does. He grunts when he bottoms out, holding himself there for a moment before pulling back out to slam into you. He keeps this pace up for longer than you thought, pulling out so just the tip is in before splitting you open once more. You think someone might try to find him, but nobody comes looking. He continues like this, ruining you for any other man like it’s just a casual night out for him.
His fingers find your clit, his pace never faltering. As he rubs your clit you tighten impossibly more around him, finding your last orgasm of the night. He pushes himself all the way into you, feeling the way your walls squeeze and contract around him, milking his cock for everything. You cum with a screaming, hearing already how hoarse your voice has become. He moans loudly, filling you with cum. Both of you are panting by the end of it, your legs shaking in his arms.
Hizashi groans when he pulls out of you, setting your legs down gently on the couch. He goes so far as to help you into your underwear again, like that will stop the cum leaking out of you. You know you’re going to have to find some way to leave the party now, unsteady legs be damned. You push yourself up into a seated position, finally meeting his eyes to speak.
“You know, you can’t just fuck your way out of this,” Your throat is raw and scratchy as you speak, and you take a sip of your now watered down drink. The burn of the alcohol hardly helps but it makes you feel better anyways. “Why didn’t you just ask me?”
“Didn’t want to put pressure on you,” He replies as he tucks himself away, “Wanted to hear your moans baby, alllll you.” You don’t want to admit that he has a point. Had you known he was recording you would have been quieter, more aware of how loud you were being. He takes your silence as agreement, leaning down to kiss you once more.
“How about I take you back to my place and we work on another collaboration?”
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Nova Ch 11
AN: This is gonna be the last of the set-up chapters. The story will start snowballing (see what I did there? Heehee) from the next chapter on.
This chapter includes an art piece I requested from the talented @plutonis, and I’m so glad I can finally show this off because it contains some very gorgeous colors.
AO3 Link
Ch 11: Spectrum
Terran Date 2015.4.28
Yesterday, Pinky showed me one of his favorite pieces of media to thank me for the story of Heikro var Silda, even though he cried for fifteen minutes because of the tragic ending. While indeed sad, I’m proud to say I remained steadfast and controlled my emotions upon revisiting the story. And while I told him it wasn’t necessary, he insisted and I acquiesced to his demands.
That’s how Pinky introduced me to The Lion King. Once again, I remained strong even when the emotional distress threatened to override my logical mind. It was...rather difficult, I’ll admit. We watched the sequel afterward, and though I’ve created five different charts that list the plot points in order, I cannot come up with a satisfactory sequence of events that connects both movies into a cohesive narrative.
Moving onto real life matters...Pinky seems to be under the impression that I will be a permanent resident of the lab.
Celestial bodies above, what use is my intelligence if I’m trapped among heathen, dimwitted fools who can’t tell the difference between left and right! I refuse to be a lab rat, made to do the so-called dominant species’ bidding. Snowball and I shall be taking over this planet and progressing their backwards society far beyond their wildest dreams! That’s what we came here for, and I will not be sidetracked again.
As for Pinky...well, his imagination can make up some personalities for his inanimate object friends once I leave. He doesn’t have any shortage of those. The newest addition to the crew is an eraser nub with the moniker of ‘Gummy’.
Signing off for now,
The Brain
o-o-o-o-o
Brain saved the new transmission to an encrypted, password-protected file. None of the scientists were technical experts, so the odds of discovery were miniscule or nonexistent. He only had five audio files in total, a meager amount compared to the hundreds of transmissions he’d made back on New Selene. The pointer hovered over the Delete All button. He didn’t have a reason to keep making transmissions when he was leaving the lab behind in just a few days.
Still, he hesitated.
Maybe he could leave it as a memento for Pinky. But even a basic level of encryption and case-sensitive password would remain far beyond Pinky’s capabilities.
Perhaps it was best to leave the issue for another night.
He logged off the computer and joined Pinky, who’d surrounded himself with Gummy and the rest of his inanimate object friends as he played a board game called Monopoly. Though Brain had looked up the rules and goals of the game during his online session out of curiosity, he didn’t really understand the appeal or mass marketability of such an unbalanced game.
Although, given the number of different versions of Monopoly out there, creating and selling his own version of the game with the title of Brainopoly could prove to be a viable plan.
Pinky was playing as if there were four players and not just a free-for-all against a nickel, button, and eraser. It became disturbingly obvious that Pinky was either overly generous or just woefully terrible at mental math, because he continually doled out the wrong amount of money from the bank or his own meager cash pile.
And Pinky was far better off if Brain cut in now, because there was no chance that anyone else was catching up to Gummy, who owned the most lucrative properties and had the largest amount of money.
He had to stop anthropomorphizing these objects. He was starting to think like Pinky, and that was an extremely distressing thought.
“You’re losing to an eraser,” Brain said. Pinky only had a few fives in currency, and the three properties he owned were all flipped over and mortgaged.
“Yeah, Gummy’s just very good at this game! Narf!” Pinky said as he rolled the dice for Mr. Button. “It’s so nice of him to let us sleep in his Marvin Garden Apartments though. Otherwise we’d be homeless!”
“Nice indeed,” Brain replied. For his peace of mind, he didn’t dare press for more details.
Pinky threw the dice, then moved the bucket token seven spaces, landing on the Luxury Tax space. “That’ll be seventy-five dollars, Mr. Button,” Pinky said as he gathered the money, which only totaled sixty. And Mr. Button’s four properties were all mortgaged. Pinky realized this too. “Oh...you don’t have enough. Poit.”
Any normal player would’ve tossed in the towel right there, but Pinky wasn’t a conventional player by any means. He frowned, scratched his head, then picked up his own pile of fives and tossed them onto the sixty, bringing the amount to seventy-five, with two leftover fives for Mr. Button.
“You can have that, Mr. Button!” Pinky chirped as he dumped the luxury tax money in the middle of the board. “With a little more for the bus!”
Pinky had completely knocked himself out of the game.
This was supposed to be an extremely competitive game for families and seasoned professionals, right? Though the rules of Monopoly appeared confusing and controversial to most players, he was certain that nobody would willingly lose with such a reckless method.
Well...maybe it was just a fluke. Pinky was only playing against himself, so if he wanted to give up the money to something he was making the decisions for, that was his choice.
Besides, he couldn’t watch this game much longer.
“I’ll be your next opponent,” Brain announced. He’d never played before, but the basics seemed simple enough. And the math involved was basic arithmetic he could do in his sleep. “Reset the board at once, Pinky.”
Pinky’s tail wagged as he gathered up the houses and hotels and tossed them back into the box, then settled down as he skillfully shuffled the Community Chest and Chance cards. From the way he hummed and twirled around, an outsider could easily mistake Brain for a playmate instead of an opponent.
Brain quickly read over the instruction sheet, then divided the game currency into a starting amount for himself, Pinky, and the bank.
“Can I be in charge of the property cards, Brain?” Pinky asked as he organized them by color.
“Yes, but I shall handle all other banker duties,” Brain said. “Listen closely, Pinky. I’ve looked up stories about Monopoly games going on for a long time with no definitive winner, so we’ll stop the game when one of us runs out of money, or if chance has favored you or I enough that we can place a hotel on the board.”
“Chance always has a problem with favoritism,” Pinky said as he moved the horse token to the Go space. Indeed, chance hasn’t always favored members of either of their species, but it could stand to be more merciful during a board game. He hugged the horse token to his chest. “Anyways, Pharfigtwoton is always my choice! What’s yours?”
Brain didn’t understand how anyone in their right mind would want to play as a wheelbarrow or bucket, and the only pieces that interested him at all were the ones that resembled modes of Terran transportation. In the end, he chose the battleship.
He was tempted to call it the Conquistador Two, but he didn’t want to follow the trend of naming random objects.
“Good one!” Pinky said as he pushed the ship over to the horse token. “A gorgeous ship like this needs a name...so I hereby dub thee Battley McBattleface!”
“We’re calling it the Conquistador Two, and that’s final,” Brain snapped.
“The Conquesodor Two,” Pinky agreed.
They tossed the dice to decide turn order, and Pinky won that battle easily since Brain had the misfortune to roll double ones.
On his first turn, Pinky managed to land on St. Charles Place with a high roll. He happily shelled out the money required to buy the property. “I’m putting a nice dog park here!” he declared, placing the unused dog token in the magenta space above the property. “Now Pharfigtwoton can give rides to all the puppies!”
Brain didn’t know if Monopoly required players to create their own storyline, but it certainly made the game more interesting and baffling at the same time. He rolled the dice, sighing when he could only advance to Reading Railroad.
He hoped it wouldn’t be a trend for Pinky to receive high rolls while he was stuck in the first half of the board.
But he quickly changed his mind once he paid up for Reading Railroad and read through the card information. Just like any real life war or corporate strategy, the key to his victory would lie in controlling the flow of transportation and goods!
Pinky landed on New York on his next turn, rambling about taking all the puppies to New York for a double decker bus tour of the city as he slid a stack of bills to Brain. Brain sighed and tossed an extra twenty bill back at Pinky. He wished Pinky would pay more attention to adding properly than the make-believe puppies.
Brain rolled the dice and moved his battleship to Virginia, claiming the property so Pinky couldn’t control one-fourth of the board this early in the game.
“Brain, can I have a house?” Pinky asked as he drew a Community Chest card. He read through the card and grinned. “Awww, I got second in a beauty pageant! Thank you, everyone! It’s such an honor! Oh, and it says I also won ten dollars.”
“You don’t meet the conditions required for a house, Pinky,” Brain said, giving Pinky a ten. He didn’t care about the fake beauty pageant, just that money was either gained or lost depending on luck of the draw.
“Oh, I’ll keep them off the board,” Pinky promised. “I just want a house for Terry to live in.”
He held up the dog token, who was now apparently called Terry.
“Fine, but don’t mix your ridiculous fantasies with the board,” Brain sighed and tossed a green house at Pinky, which smacked him in the head when he didn’t catch it in time. Pinky laughed it off and coaxed Terry to stand next to the house.
Houses and hotels. His Internet searches on the Clarkes led to tons of websites on the Terran real estate market and hotel industry.
Which reminded Brain that he hadn’t shared his research into the Clarkes with Pinky yet. There hadn’t been enough time during the day, where the incompetent scientists poked and prodded them. And in Brain’s case, tried to figure out where the antennae came from.
Their hypotheses, and he was being exceedingly generous when he described their speculation and conspiracy theories as hypotheses, amounted to claiming a Terran mouse and insect had reproduced together.
“I’ve brushed up on the Clarkes so we can properly impersonate them at the party. According to-scrik!” Brain hissed under his breath when he landed on New York and had to pay Pinky.
“Sixteen please!” Pinky chirped. “All proceeds will go to buying toys and treats for good dogs in need!”
Brain grudgingly gave up the sixteen. Probability was not on his side tonight. “As I was saying before cruel fate reared its ugly head, the man I shall impersonate, Anthony Clarke, is an esteemed real estate and luxury hotel mogul, with a net worth in the billions. His success is rooted in savvy, ruthless business against competitors. It appears that he and Lamont are old college acquaintances, which we can spin to our advantage. And...yes! B&O Railroad!”
He claimed the B&O Railroad for himself, and Pinky wrinkled his nose. “I wouldn’t ride on the Body Odor Railroad even if you pay me in cheese,” he said.
Brain rolled his eyes. “The temptation for cheese is too powerful for your empty mind and bottomless stomach.”
“You’re right, Brain. It’s too yummy.” Pinky licked his lips. “So does that make me Mrs. Zoey Clarke then? Unless he divorced her already. I haven’t kept up with them in a while.” The butler on the phone had made a similar comment, thoroughly expecting ‘Mr. Clarke’ to divorce his spouse by the end of the week.
“So you’re aware of the Clarkes,” Brain said. He rolled the dice, and chance immediately sentenced him to jail. He had to push his battleship all the way to the jail space.
But all of this divorcing nonsense was trivial to his goals. Hardly worth a footnote.
The objective was to infiltrate the party, mingle with the guests to throw off suspicion, then steal the military weapon and take over the world, not involve himself in a Terran’s relationship drama.
“Ooh, tough.” Pinky clicked his tongue in sympathy as he bought Waterworks. “But everyone knows who the Clarkes are. Didn’t you see anything about all those divorces when you looked them up?”
“I’m more interested in his business ventures than his messy personal life,” Brain replied. “All this talk about divorce is simply incidental. But now I digress. Escaping jail so I may continue my conquering campaign is of utmost priority.”
“Doubles! Doubles!” Pinky chanted as Brain threw the dice. A two and three faced up, but no doubles. Pinky deflated, but only for a moment. Then he picked up a fifty. “Here, Brain. I’ll bail you out.”
From Brain’s brief skim over the rules, he didn’t recall a single one that allowed players to bail each other out of jail. He wanted to refuse and tell Pinky to focus on winning for himself, but obtaining Pennsylvania Railroad, which he’d missed the first time he’d passed through this section of the board, was just too tempting.
Brain took the fifty from Pinky, put it in the bank, then moved his battleship out of jail and used his draining resources to buy Pennsylvania Railroad. Only afterward did he realize that he’d been steadily losing money every turn and hadn’t gained anything since the beginning of the game.
Contrast to Pinky, who rolled a twelve and skipped over the last fourth of the board, placing him squarely on the Go space and guaranteeing himself a free two hundred. Then he rolled a low number and bought Mediterranean.
A poor investment, given that it was hardly worth anything. But Pinky didn’t think so.
And he wouldn’t stop cooking up new fantasies either. “Now we can host a beach jubilee for your welcome home from jail party! With hot dogs and beach balls and those big umbrellas and-”
Brain lobbed the dice at Pinky so he’d quiet down and allow Brain to formulate a strategy in peace.
Perhaps a pass around the board without purchasing anything would be necessary. He had to rebuild his financial resources again. The downside was that Pinky could potentially take the spaces for himself, but it was entirely possible that he’d miss some of the open spaces too.
So he did just that, finally lucking out when a Community Chest card sent Pinky to Reading Railroad.
But Pinky was incapable of keeping his mouth shut, and soon he was back on the topic of the infamous Clarke divorces.
“-so I think Zoey is number eleven, and I know they all blend together, so when I confuse them I just remember divorce, beheaded, died, divorce, beheaded, survived!”
Brain stared at Pinky, praying to all the ancient Selenian gods nobody believed in anymore that Snowball didn’t have him take the identity of a murderer.
“Oh wait no, no...that’s King Henry, not Clarke. Must’ve mixed them up, poit. Sorry.”
Brain threw another green house at Pinky, nailing him in the shoulder. Pinky yelped, but once he realized he had another house he immediately thanked Brain because that meant Terry’s friend could move next door.
Since there was little point to dissuading Pinky entirely, Brain focused on his game strategy instead.
It was mostly repetition anyway. Roll dice, move piece, board event, repeat. Perhaps it would be considered tedious and monotonous, but the storylines Pinky improvised were what truly made it fascinating, even though Brain could only follow about half of it since Pinky created plotholes within the fantastical yet mundane place named Monopoly City faster than the speed of light.
According to Pinky, he and his sister co-ran an enormous pet supply shop attached to a humane animal shelter next door to the dog park. Meanwhile, Brain was conductor of a magical train and seeking the mayorship because the corrupt mayor was involved with an evil cigarette corporation who wanted to diabolically sell their products to innocent children.
And while Pinky certainly had a knack for improvisation, the matter at hand was that Brain couldn’t resist buying Boardwalk, but he’d used up a third of his money and Pinky wasn’t landing there to make up for the deficit. But Brain also had Baltic, the least valuable property, and Pinky had Park Place, which Brain desperately needed since neither of them had houses on the board yet.
This wasn’t going to be a fair trade for Pinky, but it was the best chance Brain had to etch out a victory. He was going for it.
“Park for Baltic so we can finally build some residences,” Brain said, sliding the card over to Pinky.
And to his surprise, Pinky jumped at the opportunity. “Sure, Brain! If you’ll trade me Oriental for Marvin Gardens. We’re gonna open a Chinatown district!”
He’d be giving Pinky control of the first quarter of the board, but the allure of the most expensive properties was far too tempting to pass up.
They swapped properties, then paused the game to set up their houses. Brain didn’t have enough money to buy houses for all his properties, so he set two houses on Boardwalk and hoped he could deal a staggering blow to Pinky’s finances. And even this decision was costly, for he only had $180 left.
Pinky set four houses on Baltic and clapped his hands together. “They’re beach houses,” he explained, and didn’t bother putting houses on the rest of his properties even though he could afford it.
Brain kept his mouth shut. Best not to give Pinky ideas. So he rolled the dice and got doubles.
Luxury Tax.
Scrik.
Now he was down to $105. But he’d pass Go on his next turn, so he could obtain an extra two hundred and hopefully skip this portion of the board.
Then he landed on Baltic.
He slowly looked at Pinky, and Brain couldn’t tell if Pinky was being perfectly innocent or just very, very good at pretending to be perfectly innocent. “That’ll be $320 please,” Pinky said.
Including the two hundred from passing Go, he’d only have a grand total of $305.
And according to the conditions he’d set, he’d lost the game through losing all his money.
“Can’t pay it,” Brain sighed. “Congratulations, Pinky. You’ve bested me.”
Pinky giggled and threw his play money in the air in celebration. “Aw, thanks for playing with me! I’ve never played Monopoly with anyone before. Never been able to get the board to Pharfignewton’s stable without the play money flying all over the street. It took me a long time to pick it all up. We should definitely do this again, Brain! Troz!”
But there wouldn’t be a next time. No matter how much he wanted to be victorious in another match against Pinky.
“Yes, we should,” Brain forced out, willing his racing heart to calm down so he wasn’t caught in his lie.
Pinky beamed, and Brain only wished it wasn’t so difficult to explain.
o-o-o-o-o
Terran Date 4.29.2015
Tonight, we shall seek appropriate outfits for the masquerade ball. I have been informed that my jumpsuit is not considered formal attire and that we will need to shop for proper clothing. However, I will be bringing my jumpsuit along since I will not return to the lab, and I require my conquering outfit to carry out our plans.
Pinky knows a place that may contain what we need. He’s spent the last two hours finishing his hat for the Kentucky Derby and has proudly shown off the finished product to me. Though I’ll admit that the result can only be considered a hat if one is generous with their definition.
I have not been able to contact Snowball. I can only assume he’s making the necessary preparations on his end.
Signing off for now,
The Brain
o-o-o-o-o
They stood in front of an enormous building with bright neon letters, impossible to miss even with his direction-challenged companion. Thankfully, it was only a few blocks from the lab. After the scientists strapped him to a machine that tested centrifugal force, he didn’t have the energy to walk much further.
“Welcome to Toyz ‘B’ We, Brain!” Pinky exclaimed, and Brain cringed at the horrendous grammar of that name. “It's the most wonderfulest toy shop ever!”
Wonderfulest wasn’t a word, but Brain was given no time to inform Pinky of that fact before Pinky dragged him to the entrance, where a large, cartoonish statue of a Terran bee stood off to the side, greeting customers with a cheerful wave of her magic wand.
“So that’s the mascot, Becky Bee,...let’s see, those are the shopping carts and the baskets and those machines that give you washable tattoos-”
“Focus on the clothing, Pinky. Not all the extraneous material,” Brain reminded him as they entered the store. Unlike their disastrous mall trip, Brain had brought along a source of money, an ACME credit card one of the scientists had carelessly left at their desk after purchasing a chair online.
They had a right to use the card as ACME employees who never got paid for their hard labor in experiments. And he promised Pinky he’d give it back once they were through purchasing the necessary items, so it didn’t catch on that pesky ‘no stealing’ radar.
Based on Pinky’s descriptions of the store, he expected an interior full of wonder, excitement, and interesting objects designed for enjoyment for young Terrans.
Instead, everything was a sterile white, yellow, or black. Rectangular kits of building blocks of all shapes and sizes sat neatly in a row, their price tags dusty as if they hadn’t been moved or cleaned in some time.
Dozens of bee models hung from the ceiling rafters, all of them sharing the exact same dead stare and pose. The whole setup was rather unnerving, and Brain averted his eyes.
He spotted two workers at the registers. They scrolled through their phones, not noticing Pinky’s cheerful greeting as he skipped past them. A third worker called out in alarm to them, and they suddenly dropped their phones and picked up rags, repetitively wiping their counters in circles in a poor attempt to appear busy.
The only one who acted like they were in a store meant for entertainment was Pinky, who oohed and ahhed and zigzagged all over the place to get a look at all the toys.
“Brain, look at this Barbie convertible! It’s so sparkly!” Pinky exclaimed before darting off to admire the box art on five-hundred piece jigsaw puzzles, then crawled onto the lowest shelf to hug a life-sized chihuahua plushie. “Narf! This one’s a cutie! And I also like the polka-dotted lizard, that green unicorn, and that rainbow koala looks really soft too-”
Brain grabbed Pinky’s tail, yanking him out of the shelf and onto the floor.
“This store’s already eroding whatever’s left of your mind,” Brain said, dragging Pinky away from the stuffed animals.
Pinky propped himself up on his elbows, humming as they passed aisle upon aisle of action figures, balls, and building blocks.
It was strange how they seemed to be the only customers here. Shouldn’t there be more snot-nosed brats running amok or haggard parents corralling them so they didn’t destroy everything with their grubby hands?
Still, perhaps he shouldn’t complain.
It was a relief that he didn’t have to worry about people trampling him underfoot for now.
But the peace didn’t last long, since Pinky suddenly peeled away in a completely different direction, forgetting that Brain was hanging onto his tail. Though he tried to dig his heels in, Pinky was too fast and the floor too slippery for Brain to bring them to a halt.
Then Pinky stopped on his own, and Brain only caught a glimpse of a metallic table leg before he crashed face-first into it, his nose smarting from the impact.
“Sorry, Brain,” Pinky said sheepishly, and there were five upside-down images of him. Brain swatted at the one in the middle, but his hand hit empty air instead. He shook his head to clear his vision, and all but the Pinky on the far left vanished.
Pinky didn’t stay put for long, darting past Brain. He hauled himself up the table leg and onto a light blue tablecloth. “You have to come up and see this, Brain!” Pinky squealed, peering over the edge of the table, his tail wagging beside him. “There’s an entire fence made of Legos here!”
Brain sighed, wondering if it was an exercise in futility to get Pinky to focus on the task at hand. “This is the last time I’ll repeat myself!” Brain shouted as he climbed up to retrieve Pinky. “We’re here for the clothes and-”
Though Brain only took fifteen seconds to ascend, Pinky managed to don a cropped, checkered top that showed off his slender stomach and a very short blue skirt in that short timeframe.
“Well, what do you think?” Pinky giggled and twirled in circles, the skirt flying in a graceful arc around his waist. “I could go square dancin’ in this, pardner! Yee-narf!”
Realizing he’d been staring at Pinky’s exposed stomach rather than making proper eye contact, Brain quickly turned away and pretended to find a row of small toy cars interesting. Next to the toy cars, there was a menagerie of small, plastic animals penned in by a colorful fence.
Part of a garden themed jigsaw puzzle served as a lawn under his feet, the pieces leading up to an enormous pink dollhouse.
Pinky took off the clothes he’d tried on, neatly threading a bent wire through the crop top and skirt and hanging them on a piece of string that served as a makeshift clothesline. There were five different clotheslines, each stocked to the brim with a variety of colorful articles.
Brain thumbed through the selection, though he didn’t feel an attachment to any of these pieces. While these clothes were designed for toys, most of them were still too big for him.
Finding something that would fit would be more difficult than he realized.
There was a large empty space past all the clotheslines, but it seemed it would be filled in soon enough. The display had all the signs of being a work in progress, and Brain couldn’t help but wonder who had the patience to put all this together. Certainly not the bored workers at the registers.
It was a welcome splash of creativity from the rest of the dull store.
“Poit. This is exactly how I imagined my dream home to be,” Pinky said in awe. He walked up to the front door and popped it open, revealing a spacious interior. Brain followed Pinky inside and they explored the first floor together, which contained a kitchen, living room, and a playroom.
“I really like the coloring on those kitchen cabinets, and the fireplace is a great touch! Very retro. And the kiddies will have a grand ol’ time in the playroom,” Pinky said as they climbed the staircase to the second floor and walked through two bedrooms and a bathroom.
“Marble countertops would make the kitchen and bathroom more refined,” Brain argued. Really, did Pinky want any visitors to think uncivilized brutes owned the house? “But the fireplace is a welcome touch.”
Pinky shrugged as they entered the master bedroom. “It’s fine as is. Now if the backyard was bigger with a dolphin-shaped swimming pool, that would be really, really amazing!”
And Brain preferred marble countertops, but since he wouldn’t be getting everything he wanted, neither would Pinky.
Brain sat on the large bed that took up half the room, the fluffy covers soft and welcoming. But they were on a mission, and future world rulers didn’t roll around on beds in an undignified manner, no matter how tempting it was.
Pinky threw open the closet doors, revealing more clothing inside. “Oh, these pajamas are lovely!” he said, pressing a yellow nightgown close to his body.
“Anything that would suit our purposes?” Brain asked. In hindsight, doing some research into what people wore for masquerade balls would’ve been helpful. He didn’t know why it slipped his mind. Perhaps Pinky’s scatterbrained traits were contagious.
“Hmmm, it’s all pajamas and casual wear,” Pinky said, flicking through the different articles. He closed the doors and reopened them, as if the formal wear would magically appear if they were out of sight. “No suits for you or the porpoises, Brain.” And he’d been so hopeful too.
“Maybe we can find something in the aisles,” Pinky said.
A sensible suggestion, for once.
Brain tried not to appear reluctant to leave the bed, but necessity demanded it. As he stood up, the fur on his neck pricked, his ears twitching towards the large window in the bedroom.
An odd sense that he was being watched came over him, and when he turned to look at the window, he saw a Terran’s eye peering into the balcony.
They stared at each other.
Then the eye blinked.
And Brain was suddenly very, very glad Snowball wasn’t here to bear witness, or he’d never hear the end of how he’d leapt onto Pinky’s back in his moment of panic.
Pinky yelped, and so did the Terran outside the window. There were several loud thuds, followed by a frantic apology.
Brain released Pinky, rubbing his face to get rid of the blush as he ran down the staircase and out the front door.
“S-sorry!” a young woman stammered as she bent down to pick up several packages of toys, only to lose her large glasses on the floor in the process. She wore the standard uniform of the store. “I didn’t think anyone would be inside! I thought one of the furniture pieces fell over, that’s all!”
Pinky hopped down from the table, picking up the woman’s glasses and pressing them into her hand. “It’s okay!” he chirped. “You scared us good, but now we can laugh about it! Oh, your name tag says Sharon! What a lovely name! I’m Pinky, that chubby alien up there is Brain, and we’re going to a party this weekend where we’ll raise awareness for the plight of frosted animal crackers!”
“That’s not the event’s objective,” Brain corrected, and he had no choice but to let Pinky come to his own conclusions. Stealing the secret weapon on Lamont property would remain classified information as promised. “And if you call me chubby again, I shall have to hurt you.”
Sharon took her glasses from Pinky with a tentative smile, then let him climb up her arm and onto her shoulder. “Zort! You have very good taste in Polly Pocket dolls!” Pinky said, peering down at the packages in her hands. “Do you collect?”
Sharon blushed. “I, um, have a lot of Beanie Babies at home. I’m not really interested in Polly Pockets, but they’d fit much better in this display than a standard Barbie.” She glanced at Brain. “I’m sorry, could you please move? I’m putting a few things in that area.”
Brain moved out of the way as Sharon carefully opened the packages. Then she placed several small tables and chairs in the empty space next to the clotheslines, bending the dolls’ legs into sitting positions and placing them on the chairs. She worked slowly and diligently, taking great caution to not knock anything over or break the items.
“Did you make all this?” Pinky asked. “It’s amazing!”
“Y-yeah, I did. The display, I mean. Not the toys.” Sharon didn’t look at Pinky as she straightened one of the Lego fences. “Store’s been on the decline, and because there’s not really much to do, I’m trying to create a few displays to generate some interest. The toys in this one were supposed to be thrown away since nobody’s buying them, even on clearance, but it just seemed so wasteful.”
She was resourceful. It was a valuable trait, but she seemed more embarrassed than anything.
“Take pride, Sharon. It’s an excellent use of parts,” Brain advised.
Pinky nodded eagerly. “And you’re saving the toys from the evil furnace! I’m sure they’re very grateful to you when you’re not looking!”
“You...you really like it?” Sharon lifted her glasses and wiped a tear from her eye. “Nobody’s ever really noticed my efforts around here.”
“Well, they should!” Pinky declared. “I’ll tell them so myself!”
Sharon smiled as Pinky hugged her face, then rejoined Brain on the table. “Thanks, but I don’t think you came to this store just to invade a toy home.”
“No, we didn’t,” Brain said, seeing his opportunity and seizing it. “We require formal clothes for a masquerade ball, and unfortunately, we haven’t seen anything of interest yet.”
“There’s plenty of interesting things in here, Brain,” Pinky said. “Like the busybody bees up on the ceiling!”
Apparently they had two very different definitions of interesting.
“Well, I can bring out some items from the back,” Sharon offered. “We had to pull the entire line of formal Zuma Ben accessories last week. Some parents found the outfits a little scandalous for their kids, so now the accessories are just going in the trash. But maybe you’ll find something to wear from the pile. Be right back, guys!” She walked away, her steps growing slightly more confident.
“Real Zuma Ben accessories?” Pinky clasped his hands to his cheek. “I’ve never worn anything like that before!”
“It’s just a name,” Brain said. He didn’t see why Pinky was treating Zuma Ben’s name like a sacred object. “As long as we’re dressed to impress, the name doesn’t matter.”
“I just think they’re pretty,” Pinky replied. “And I like looking at them, even if I can’t buy anything. Still, I’m really happy with the clothes I have now.”
But Pinky had a sizable wardrobe. Those clothes had to come from somewhere.
“So how did you obtain your clothes if you never bought them?” Brain asked.
Pinky smiled. “The scientists. They’ll drop clothes into my cage, which is really nice of them! One time, I put on this pretty sundress they gave me and I started itching really bad. I was jumping around like a tiny monkey and I managed to make them all laugh! I must’ve been quite the sight!”
Pinky laughed at the memory, but Brain was more disturbed at how the blatant act of humiliation didn’t affect him in the slightest. Then the laugh faltered and restarted at a higher pitch.
No, that initial assessment was wrong. True, Pinky could withstand many things, but not even the most resilient being could tolerate the sound of mockery for long.
Should he say something? Was an ‘I’m sorry’ sufficient? Was there any act of comfort that didn’t involve unnecessary physical contact?
Brain wanted to be decisive, but dozens of scenarios played out in his head, and none of them led to a satisfactory outcome. Tell Pinky to cease his laughter, embrace him, talk about the weather. He didn’t know.
Emotions led to nothing but trouble.
“Quit staring,” Brain snapped when Pinky wouldn’t stop watching him like he wanted something.
Pinky’s ears fell, but Sharon came back before the pang of guilt could fully settle in Brain’s stomach.
“Thanks for waiting, guys,” Sharon said as she dumped the accessory packages onto the table. “See anything you like?”
“All of them!” Pinky declared, happily tossing a three-pack of formal dresses into the air. He tried tearing it open, but the packaging wouldn’t give. Sharon helpfully tore it open for him, and Pinky made a happy, grateful sound before pulling a sparkly purple dress over his body. He twirled around. “So how do I look?”
“Lovely,” Sharon giggled as she pulled out her phone. She set it against the Lego fence, allowing Pinky to see himself in the camera app.
“I’ll put this as a maybe,” Pinky said. “But I have to give all the dresses a chance too!”
He tried four other dresses on in quick succession, and all of them went into the maybe pile.
Meanwhile, Brain searched through his choices of men’s formal wear. He wanted the best possible option for successful infiltration, but he didn’t know much about Terran fashion. His nose wrinkled at a powdered blue suit with far too many ruffles. He was fairly certain that wouldn’t garner respect on any planet, so he pushed the offending pack away from his other options.
The pure white suit would get stained too easily. He needed something darker. That one was out.
“Hey Brain, what about this one?” Pinky asked. He now wore a long sleeved lime green dress, which Brain found extremely tacky and unappealing to the eyes. Not even Pinky could salvage that monstrosity. Yet in Pinky’s hands, there was a black suit with a white shirt underneath. Not extravagant by any means, but since the coloration was similar to his conquering attire, it was the most probable choice by far.
But while Pinky was comfortable with changing in front of others, Brain wasn’t so keen on the idea.
“I require privacy,” Brain said. He took the suit from Pinky and went inside the house, shutting the door behind him and ensuring the shutters were closed.
Then he removed his gloves and jumpsuit, shivering from the cold air as he laid the items over a chair. He put on the new set of pants first, then the white collared shirt, and finally buttoned the jacket over his abdomen.
Well, it was comfortable. And it hid most of his stomach too, which was also a positive. But he needed to see how it looked in the light before making a judgment call, so he rejoined Pinky and Sharon, who were playing with different filters on her phone while Pinky wore a magnificent feathery pink dress.
“Now you really look like a flamingo,” Sharon laughed as Pinky changed the filter to sepia, the image now different shades of tan. Pinky blew a kiss to the camera. “This one’s my favorite so far,” Pinky declared with a graceful curtsey.
And the sleeveless feathery dress did seem to match his personality much better than all the other dresses. Flamboyant and quirky, but inviting and friendly as well. A darker pink feather boa was draped over his shoulders, and purple feathers fanned out from the back of his neck. A light green choker was wrapped around his neck. Then Pinky added a matching headband with a light pink tuft to complete the ensemble.
“That will certainly make an excellent first impression on the partygoers,” Brain said.
Pinky changed the phone filter back to normal with one hand, playing with the feather boa in his other. “Egad, you really think so?” he exclaimed. “Hold on a sec, Brain. Where’s the rest of your outfit?”
“Rest of?” Brain echoed. “This doesn’t require anything else.”
Pinky shook his head and dug a red bow and matching sash out of the clothes pile. “You need a few splashes of color, Brain! Or you’ll just end up a sad wilty wallflower!”
“They’d really match your circles,” Sharon added.
Well, he’d always looked good in red. It was a bold, attention-grabbing color.
Brain draped the sash over his shoulder and fastened the bow around his ear, checking himself over in Sharon’s phone. Then Pinky and Sharon started giggling for some odd reason.
“What?” Brain asked. He was presentable at a formal event now, wasn’t he?
“You’re kinda wearing it wrong,” Sharon admitted.
His ears flattened from embarrassment. Selenians typically wore practical jumpsuits with minimal accessories, and none of their databanks ever mentioned Terran outfits. They must’ve found it unimportant.
“Don’t worry, Brain. It’s an easy fix! May I?” Pinky exclaimed.
Brain nodded his permission, and Pinky removed the bow from Brain’s ear and carefully fastened it underneath his collar, taking great care to not pull the bow too tightly around his neck.
“So this isn’t a sash. It’s a cummerbund and you wear it around your stomach,” Pinky explained as he demonstrated the proper way to wear it. It was relieving to know Terrans made accessories that would hide the slight bulge, and Brain donned the cummerbund correctly.
The accessories really did match his orbs. For the first time, he was dressed to the nines and it was a glorious feeling indeed.
“Aw, you’re both so spiffy!” Sharon exclaimed. “Mind if I put a photo of this on the Twitter page to boost some interest?”
“We’ll return the favor,” Brain said. She deserved some reward for helping them out anyway.
Sharon turned her phone around, ready to snap the picture when Pinky suddenly darted out of frame. “Hold on! Narf!” he cried, shoving a small blue butterfly-themed mask into Brain’s hands and flipping a pink feathery mask over his face. “It’s a masquerade ball, you know!”
While Brain’s mask only covered the area around his eyes, Pinky’s face was mostly hidden by his birdlike mask, leaving only his bright blue eyes exposed.
“Doesn’t that tickle?” Brain inquired as Pinky stretched his boa out for a picture.
Pinky shrugged. “A little. But I don’t mind!”
“Smile for the camera, you guys!” Sharon grinned.
Brain didn’t smile, but he stood in front of the toy house while Sharon snapped pictures and Pinky struck a different pose with every shot.
Pinky’s laughter rang joyously in Brain’s ears.
He would leave that sound behind in just a few days. But it was a small price to pay for the world.
End AN: Maybe this chapter is a little disjointed, but oh well. Sharon is based off the toy store worker who helps the mice in Brain’s Night Off.
I tried to do the math for the Monopoly game and even pulled out my Monopoly property cards so I could get the amounts correct, but if anything is inaccurate I am hereby excused from responsibility because I am a writer and not a mathematician. Yes i use that excuse every time but it’s true.
Brain's outfit comes from the tuxedo he wore in the reboot's Future Brain episode. Pluto designed Pinky's outfit herself (somehow we both were thinking lots of pink feathers for Pinky) and deserves all the credit for it cause it's so beautiful. I chose a butterfly mask for Brain and a flamingo theme for Pinky.
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Requested by: No one.
A/N: Based on a, I guess you can call it a daydream I had this morning... but when writing this I didn’t use a certain name, so it can be fore anyone, you can imagine whoever you want with this.
Also, this was my piece after not writing for 3 weeks, so I hope I didn’t disappoint.
Warnings: Teasing, slight clit stimulation, her wetness leaking onto the couch, he calls her a naughty girl, cum play?, she begs for him to touch her, messy?, fingering, unprotected sex (This is fiction, please make sure to be safe), he releases inside her, aftercare mention.
W/C: 2 887
Sitting on the couch scrolling through her phone, in such a manner, her legs were spread and the only thing she wore was a t-shirt and a pair of thin panties.
He wasn’t expecting that when he entered the sitting area and saw the sight, he couldn’t help but let out a groan as he could only imagine how it would have looked if she was sitting there without a pair covering her heat.
She hadn’t noticed or heard him, too engrossed with whatever was on her screen, he makes his way to the couch and placed a hand on her knee, getting her attention.
She looks past her screen and softly smiles at him, not realizing what was about to happen, what she was doing to him with the position she was sitting in, he could feel his cock twitching as it hardens
What was she thinking when she sat down? Gosh, his eyes move over her, the t-shirt she wore was his, and he could see that she decided to go braless.
“Are you enjoying yourself?” He asks, his voice barely even as he spoke, he was trying to focus on her and not on her heat, that was being covered with a thin layer of panties “What’s got your attention?”
She exits the app she had open and locks her phone, putting it down on her cover stomach, she wasn’t about to tell him what she had been actually doing, but he could have guessed and guessed correctly, judging from the wet patch forming on her panties, she was either reading something explicit or watching something, and seeing as she didn’t have any earbuds in, he would go with reading.
“Nothing, just found something interesting while I was waiting for you.” She says, an innocent smile on her lips, but her eyes held something else, they were clouded with lust, her lips swollen as she licked and bit them during the story she had read, he nods his head, licking his lips.
“And you don’t wish to share that something with me?” He asks, his hand begins trailing to the inside of her thigh, rubbing soft circles there.
“Not really, I don’t think that you will find it interesting.” She says, he sinks down to his knees beside the couch, his hand moving lower and closer to her soaking heat, her eyes visibly widen for a few seconds before she recovers, hoping he didn’t see, but he did, which only confirmed what she had been doing.
“Are you sure?” He asks, his voice becoming deep as he spoke, his eyes visibly darkening with lust as he stares at her. “Because I think differently, I think I would find it very interesting.” Her tongue darts out past her lips, licking them, his hand inching closer to her soaking heat, the wet patch had grown since he approached her. “Should I guess the genre?”
“I could have been watching something,” she whispers, audio and video’s were out of the question, but if she had been looking at gifs, she would have locked her phone faster, that he knew all too well about her.
“But you weren’t, you were reading.” He says. “I know how you react when you’re reading or watching something.” His hand trails over her heat, cupping her happening panties, feeling the wet patch had spread. “Was it at least good?” She could feel his fingers ghostly stroking over her pussy lips through her panty. “The smut you were reading.” Her lips part, she had been caught. “Did you enjoy it?”
“I.. um, uh.” She stuttered, trying to form words, sentences in her mind to answer him, but to no avail, how was she supposed to answer him.
“Read it to me, maybe then I will know what I’m doing wrong.” He says. “Then I can do it correctly, and you won’t have to resort to reading about it and fantasising about it.” She swallows, suddenly feeling thirsty. “Isn’t that why you read it?” She shakes her head, rapidly.
“No, no.” She quickly spits out. “No, that’s not… that’s not it, not why.” He cocks his head to the side, a finger pushing her panties between her soaking folds, she takes her bottom lip between her teeth, feeling the rough fabric rubbing against her swollen clit.
“Then why do you read it?” He asks. “Am I not enough?” That definitely wasn’t the case, he was more than enough, but for the days when she didn’t want to disturb him when he was busy she retorted to reading about it, and just earlier he had been focusing on something on his computer screen, and she didn’t want to bother him in case it was important.
“No, that’s not it, not why....” She whimpers out, feeling him rub her needy swollen clit through her panties. “I didn’t w— oh oh my…” She breathes out, wanting to throw her head back and close her eyes. “Didn’t want to bother you, oh my… oh gosh.” Just feeling him teasing her clit was drying her insane, she had become so wet from the story she had read, she was sure that he didn’t need to toy with her like this, he could easily just slip in.
“You didn’t want to bother me, so you decided to read about it… does it satisfy you?” He asks, he pulls his finger away from her swollen clit, making her whimper at the loss of contact. “Did it make you have an orgasm or did it just make you this wet?” His words caused something to stir in her abdomen, something to build, she could feel her skin heating up.
“No, no, I didn’t… it doesn’t, not the way you do.” Her voice sounded so needy, so begging as she spoke. “It didn’t make me…” He pushes the t-shirt she wore upward, exposing her lower tummy, his finger wrap around the thin fabric of her panties and pulled at it, pulling it away from her pussy, the fabric that had been between her lips grazed her clit a final time, causing her to softly moan as it was removed.
“Your panties are soaked.” He says watching as they reach her ankles, his gaze moves to her heat. “Look how soaked you are.” Her muscles twitch underneath his gaze. “Maybe you should read it to me, let me hear the words that made you this soaked.” She grips her phone, thinking about it for a second before moving it away from her tummy, she placed it on the small table near the couch, his eyes follow her movements. “Tsk.” He clicks his tongue, he lifts one of her feet and pulls the panty over her foot before lifting the other one and removes the panties completely. “I was looking forward to the story.”
“Make your own.” She breathes out, he placed the thin fabric on the table next to her phone before looking at her.
“Make my own?” He questions. “How will I ever know if mine was as good as the one you were reading?” He took hold of her ankle and pulled it off from the couch. “I want you spread.” She shifts on the couch, slightly turning towards him, her legs spreading wider, his eyes fall to her sopping heat, he closed his eyes at the sight, the mess her wetness was creating on the couch as it leaked from her. “It must have been good if you’re making a mess on the couch.” She could feel her cheeks heating up, his hand slides up her leg to her heat as his eyes open, his fingers scoops up her wetness. “Oh.” He spreads her folds with his fingers and smears her wetness over her heat, brushing his fingers over her clit, drawing a moan from her. “Oh, you naughty girl.” His fingers slide along her folds, avoiding the spot where she wanted it the most.
“Please.” She breathes out, sweat starting to coat her skin. “Please, please, touch me, please.” He moves his fingers towards her clit, but stops before touching the sensitive nub, he looks up at her, a teasing smirk on his lips.
“Why should I give you what you want?” He asks. “You didn’t want to read the story to me, so why should I listen to you?” She could feel her blood rushing through her veins, her muscles twitching, his dark lust-filled eyes staring at her.
“Please, I’ll read it to you another time, but please touch me.” she pleaded, she had been aching for his touch for hours. “Please.” Needing him for hours, and now that he wasn’t working or focusing on anything else he wanted to tease her, any other day it would have been okay, but today, today she needed him to either touch her or bury himself deep inside her wanting entrance. “Either touch me, or fuck me, or…” She trails off, stopping before she could finish the sentence, he moves closer to her, moving to his feet to hover above her.
“Or what?” He asks, his voice dangerously low. “Go ahead, finish what you were about to say.” He challenged, she takes in a shaky breath, licking her lips.
“Or get lost, so I can use my hands.” She whispers, her eyes not leaving him, he would never dare leave her and let her touch herself.
“Oh, are you going to satisfy yourself?” He asks. “If you could, why did you read in the first place when you could have just used your own hand?” He takes hold of her hand, guiding it between her legs, he pressed her hand against her soaking heat. “Go ahead, satisfy yourself, I’ll watch.” He moves away from her, releasing her hand, her face falls.
“Wait!” She quickly says, he freezes in place. “Please don’t… you know I’ll never be able to…” He leans lower, his lips come in contact with her abdomen. “Please… please, touch me.” He moves lower, taking hold of her hand that was still against her soaking heat, he brought it to his face.
“Since you ask so nicely my naughty girl.” He says, he stares at her glistening hand covered in her own wetness. “But you have to promise me that you will read it to me… tonight.” He looks past her hand and at her, she nods her head.
“I will, tonight.” She says. “I promise.” He nods his head, moving her soaked hand closer to his face, he takes one of her fingers into his mouth, swirling his tongue around it before pulling it out of his mouth.
“Hm, delicious.” He placed her hand on her lower exposed tummy, causing her wetness to stick to her skin. “I’ll take your word for it then.” He placed his hand over her heat, a soft whimper escapes from her lips, he uses his fingers to spread her folds, slipping his middle finger in, sliding it over her swollen clit, the slightest touch to the sensitive swollen nub felt euphoric, her lips part at his touch. “Look at you, look at how you’re responding, you’re so damn sensitive.” His fingers move away from her folds and slip down to her soaking entrance, his fingers were coated with her wetness within seconds. “I bet I can just slip into you without needing to touch you like this.”
“Mh— oh.” She whimpers out, agreeing with him, he could, but he would rather be sure that she was ready before attempting to slide his length into her soaked walls.
“Let’s go with two…” He mutters to himself before slipping two fingers inside her, he moves them around, twisting and turning them before pulling them out and adding a third. “You’re so fucking soaked, fuck.” Foreplay was unneeded at that moment, but just to be sure she was ready, to be sure he wouldn’t hurt her, he stretched her walls using his fingers, using a scissoring motion as he turns his fingers inside her.
“FUCK OH MY—“ She gasps out feeling his fingers rubbing against her walls, he looks up at her face, her eyes were squeezed shut, her lips were parted, her chest moving up and down as she gasped each time he twisted and turned his fingers inside her, he moves his gaze back down to her heat, watching as his fingers dip in and out of her.
He pulls his fingers from her, a whimper leaving her lips at the loss of contact, he stood up and discarded his shirt and his pants along with his underwear, she lifts her head, looking at him as he got rid of his clothes, she pushes herself into a sitting position, only for him to stop her halfway, he grabs the hem of her shirt and pulls it up, she lifts her arms, and he removes the shirt, tossing it onto the ground.
“Do you want me to suck you?” She asks, even though he had pushed her to lay back down, his hand wraps around his length, spreading the clear liquid leaking from the head of his hard cock over his length, pumping himself and making sure his cock was lubed up, he moves to the couch, moving onto his knees on it.
“Later, definitely later my naughty girl.” He says, he moves the head of his cock through her folds, collecting her wetness onto himself, moving it over her clit several times.
“Oh, oh, fuck, oh, please... oh my.” She breathes out, he moves himself to her soaking entrance and slowly slipped the head inside her, her eyes fall close and her lips part as she felt him stretch her, he unwraps his hand from his length and placed his hand on her hips, moving his hands until he had a proper grip on her, he lifts her hips, his cock sliding into her, stretching her walls. "Oh oh gosh, oh my fucking hell!” The feeling of him filling and stretching her felt blissful, once his length and size was completely inside her, he comes to a halt, giving her a few moments to adjust.
“Fuck, you’re so fucking soaked.” He mutters. “You take me so fucking well.” He pulls his hips back, slipping out until just the head remained inside her before rolling his hips back with a fast pace. “You feel so fucking good, You should have fucking interrupted me earlier.” His fingers grip her hips as he rolls his hips into her, his length brushing against her walls, the sound of her wetness filled the room each time he snapped his hips into her.
The room felt warm as sweat formed on them, their grunts filling the sitting room, she could feel her skin beginning to stick to the couch, he lowers her hips as he lowers himself over her, their skin feeling sticky and slippery, his cock continued to fill her with each snap of his hips, and with each snap, she could feel the tension building in her lower abdomen as she edged closer to her release, his lips brush over her shoulders, licking and nibbling at the skin while groaning into her ear.
“You feel so damn good, why didn’t you come and disturb me?” He mumbles next to her ear. “Next time you should, fuck you’re doing that thing, keeping clenching around me.” Her walls clamp down around him at his words, he moves one hand between them and pressed his fingers against her clit. “Come on, go to that place, reach your high for me, cum around my cock.” Her clit twitched at his words, his fingers rub the sensitive nub, edging her closer and closer. “Cum for me, make a mess on the couch.” His lips were now brushing against her earlobe. "Fall apart beneath me."
“Go— fuck, oh my fuck.” She breathes out, she felt his cock twitching inside her, her muscles contracted, her mind fell blank as the euphoric pleasure washed over her, she wrapped her arms around him, her nails gripping his shoulder blades as she releases around his cock, the feeling of her wet warm walls clamping around him and her fingers digging into his skin sent him over the edge his thrusts became irregular before sinking deep into her and releasing, the energy drained from him as he released himself inside, the sound of their breathing filled the room as they laid on the couch.
It took a few moments for him to regain his strength, to push himself upwards before slowly slipping himself out of her, the mixture of their release flooded out of her, leaking onto the couch, he sits on the other end of the couch, his eyes falling to her entrance, licking his lips before his eyes move up to her face.
“Fuck…” He mutters, he stood from the couch and moves closer to her, he pulls her into a sitting position, making more of a mess on the couch, he pulls her onto her feet before pulling her into his arms, their sticky naked bodies touching each other. “Do you have enough energy to wrap your legs around me?” She hums into his shoulder, her arms wrap around his neck, using every bit of energy and strength to jump and wrap her legs around his torso. “Let’s get you cleaned up and then the couch.”
#imagine#imagines#smut imagine#smut imagines#f1 imagine#f1 imagines#kpop imagines#kpop imagine#kpop smut#kpop smuts#smut#smuts
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Hello! I really liked your posessive chuuya scenario! 🙈 Is it alright if I request a NSFW scenario with a possesive Dazai and him being slightly rough and dirty talking while doing it? Maybe he gets a bit jealous when he saw someone checking reader out and making a move on reader not aware dazai is their bf? And if you're still comfortable writing it can you include some breeding kink please? (No daddy kink pls) thank you so much! 🥺💖
Genre: NSFW
Tags: Breeding kink, Dirty talking
A/N: Your wish is my command, anon! I researched for the dirty talking for this one and I used a lot of dialogue from a writing prompt I found on Pinterest and also, I listened to an audio. I hope my sinning was worth it and that you’ll find this satisfactory haha enjooooy~ (*•̀ᴗ•́*)و ̑̑
˚ * . ⊹ • ꒰꒱ • ⊹. * ˚
You never had a problem keeping your relationship with Dazai on the low. You never saw the point of parading it for everyone to see. The both of you agreed to just keep your private lives, well, private. Your dynamic is almost professional, your love life being completely separate from any other aspects of your life. You and he never even had an argument yet. No fights over what to have for dinner, whether someone forgot an anniversary and most of all, no fights over jealousy. It's like there is an unspoken agreement between the two of you that despite being together, you'll still keep your own personal freedom and frankly, you’re both satisfied with that.
A rhythmic knock on your door made you look up from your laptop and giddily run towards the door. Dazai stood outside, food in hand and a warm smile on his face. You stood on your tiptoes and greeted him with a kiss. Dazai's lips curled into a smirk as he made his way inside your room. You shared a few conversations about your day and lounged on the couch while watching a movie and finishing the food Dazai brought over. You were just done putting away the take-out boxes into the trash when slender arms slithered around your waist.
"Mmm, you smell so good," Dazai's smoky voice rumbled deep inside his chest as he nuzzled his face on your neck. "I've always loved the way you smell."
Dazai's hands gingerly moved down to your waist and settled on your hips. You sighed and leaned back against his toned form, your whole body relaxing on his touch. Dazai pulled you closer and pressed your butt against his crotch as he started to place tickling kisses on your neck. He's being a little bit more affectionate today and it made you wonder what's going on his mind.
"You're so beautiful, you know that?" He crooned on your ear, "I feel so lucky to have a goddess like you to love a mere mortal like me.” You giggled as Dazai playfully snuggled his face on your neck and give it a few tiny kisses. Wow, he’s really being sweet tonight. “Let me worship you, my goddess.”
With that, Dazai spun you around and intertwined his lips unto yours. His kiss was deep and sensual, like he tastes your lips for the first time. Your hands immediately reached up to tangle your fingers on his soft hair and you moaned as Dazai sucked ever so gently on your bottom lip before pulling away.
“Oh, what am I doing?” He sighed dramatically, “A gorgeous being like you should be delivered to an altar.” Dazai lifted you off of your feet with a grunt and carried you on his arms like a child. You squealed and laughed as Dazai walked into the bedroom, humming a tune of some sort; the playful scene almost reminding of you of some cheesy romcom movie.
He laid your body gently on the mattress and hovered above you shortly. Usually, your sexual encounters are hot and rough but you figured that perhaps he’s in the mood to switch things up a little bit and have a night of slow love-making, in which you don’t have any objections. It wasn’t long until Dazai’s lips crashed against yours once again but this time; a little bit hungrier. You arched your back and wrapped your arms around his neck as you crave for more of him. You pulled him closer, letting both of your tongues danced sloppily around each other’s mouth. Your mind started to drown on the feeling of desire just from Dazai’s passionate kiss, your moan of satisfaction vibrated on his lips as one of his hand started to fondle your breast. Dazai chuckled darkly on your sensitivity and proceeded to slide his hand under your shirt to pinch your hardened nipples. You cried wantonly as he rolled it between his fingers while languidly licking your exposed neck, goose bumps rising as Dazai’s hot breath fanned on your skin. His fingers trailed down from your breast, to your stomach and slipped beneath your underwear, the pad of Dazai’s index rubbing circles on your clit as soon as he felt the protruding nub of flesh. At this point, you are completely overtaken by Dazai’s actions that his low whisper on your ear didn’t register on your mind immediately.
“You’re being too friendly with that man, aren’t you?” He asked in a cool tone, “I don’t like you talking to them like that because you belong to me, right?”
“Dazai, what are you talking about?” You questioned him back, not knowing exactly what he’s asking you. However, instead of a response, he just bit harshly on a spot on the base of your neck, eliciting a gasp from you.
“I see the way they look at you, you know,” he said in a chuckle, “and I can’t stand it. You’re not allowed to wear that top anymore, alright? Your body is for my eyes only.”
Thoughts floated in your heavy head as you try to figure out what Dazai was referring to and somehow, through the haziness veiling your mind, you finally remembered how the top you chose for today’s outfit was a little bit low-hanging. You have to adjust it every now and then to prevent it from slipping down and revealing more of your cleavage. How did he know about that? Did he follow you to work?
“That’s right, I watched you today,” Dazai cut off your thoughts by answering your unspoken question, “I saw everything. I even saw how you let that man touch you. Should I teach him a lesson to not fucking touch what’s not his?”
You responded with a cry as Dazai plunged his finger inside you, pumping it in and out as soon as your walls wrapped up on him. Confusion enveloped you the more you try to make sense of the sudden change in his behavior. If he watched you today, is he talking about one of your co-workers? You’ll admit that you’re pretty close to a couple of male friends but whether they were hitting on you or not, you never really bothered to notice. Perhaps it’s because of the fact that you never really bring up your status with Dazai unless somebody asks, so it would make sense if people would just assume that you’re single. Your mouth opened to rebut his accusation but your words melted into a moan as Dazai inserted a second finger inside you and only with just a few pumps, he inserted a third one. Your muscles ached and burned as Dazai’s fingers stretched you up, your core getting warmer and growing more sensitive with the way he’s stirring you up inside.
“You’re mine to own, understand? Maybe if I branded you, other people wouldn’t be such a nuisance,” Dazai mumbled, his lips still on your neck and leaving dark purple marks on its wake.
“You’re overreacting, Dazai.” You whined, “There’s nothing going on.” You didn’t understand why he’s being like this all of a sudden when mingling with other people never really bothered him before.
“I’m overreacting?” He chortled, “Oh, sweetheart. If you only know how cruel I can truly be. If anything, I’m going easy on you.” Dazai smirked on your skin before resuming his assault on your abused neck with more power. Squelching noises bounced off of the walls of your bedroom as Dazai’s fingers diligently worked on your plumped muscles.
“I know you cover my bite marks,” Dazai licked the freshly added bruise on your neck, “so maybe I might just have to give you something more obvious; something that you can’t hide. How about I breed you? What do you say?”
Not being genuinely interested to hear your answer, Dazai pressed his thumb down on your clit and watched with dark eyes while you squirm and scream his name as he spread his fingers wider to stretch you even more. “Look at you being so needy. You’re my little brood, aren’t you? Your hole is just aching for my cock, isn’t it? Don’t worry, I’ll make sure to fuck my cum into you and fill you up to your womb.”
Dazai’s vulgar declarations made you tighten around him and you whined as your mind argued with you on how wrong it is but the tingles rippling down your body became too overwhelmingly good to resist. Your pussy throbbed when Dazai violently removed his soaked fingers and shifted on the bed to tower over your limp body. You opened your heavy eyes to see him unbuttoning his shirt with a devilish smile on his face, causing a hitch on your already labored breathing. He didn’t bother to pull his pants all the way down before leaning down to position and rub his erection on your entrance.
“Look what you’ve done to me, my little brood,” he cooed, “I’ve practically cummed on my pants. I still have more to pump into you, though. So, be careful not to spill a single drop, okay?”
Dazai’s honeyed voice trembled as he roughly slammed his cock into you. The sweet burn that his length caused on your insides made you crumpled the sheets below you as you arched your back and your mouth flung open in a pleasured scream. It only took a millisecond before Dazai started ramming himself into you in a brutal pace you’ve never experienced with him before. It was deep and rough, air was knocked out of your lungs and you can almost feel the tip of his hard cock hit your stomach with each forceful blow he gives you. The bed creaked in time with your wobbling moans as Dazai penetrates you mercilessly, every push of his cock wiping out every kind of reasoning out of your head.
“Always so tight for me,” Dazai growled, “If you keep milking me like that, it won’t be too long until I get to flood your cunt. You want it that bad, huh? You want my seed that much, brood?”
The big change from being worshipped as a goddess to being addressed like a hen that’s being kept for his breeding made you felt so dirty and degraded but you’ll be lying to yourself if you say that it doesn’t arouse you immensely. Your fluids flowed out of you as you let Dazai use your body for his pleasure, his nails sinking on your hips as he angled himself to bury his cock into you as deep as he can.
Electric current of pleasure zapped on your nerve endings, the tension on your lower abdomen building up atop of each other. The rest of your limbs lay numb and weak against the mattress as every blood pumping out of your racing heart rushed to your pulsating core. Your walls convulsed under Dazai’s aggressive attacks but you wanted more, no matter how much your muscles started to sting.
“That’s it, my brood. Your little hole is just here for me, okay? You’re only mine,” Dazai’s voice became almost guttural despite his stable tone. “I want you to have the reminder every single second of the day that you’re mine. I’ll watch as your body change once I release my seed on your hungry little womb.”
You were only able to answer his lewd intentions by more moaning and screaming out his name over and over again in broken syllables. He pressed his body down against yours to lean closer to your face, making sure that you’ll hear his words loud and clear. “I will knock you up tonight and you’ll be mine forever. Just you and me. Forever.”
With that, Dazai lifted your legs up and hooked it on his shoulders. His thrusts became even rougher, the incredible impact of his pelvis shaking your whole body off of the bed. Your head hanged at the edge of the mattress and you grasped on Dazai’s forearms for support. He then took this opportunity to place more of his bruising kisses on your chest as proof that he was truly here. The pressure of his fingers on your hips increased along with his ongoing onslaught on your core and your eyes rolled back at the back of your head as your vision started to turn white and the built up pleasure on your stomach began to slowly unravel.
“That’s good, my brood, squeeze your pussy just like that,” Dazai growled upon feeling you clamp on him. “I will fill you up to the brim. I gotta make sure I’ll breed you properly, don’t I? That way, you’ll be marked by me from the inside, too. How wonderful is that, huh?”
The cheeriness of Dazai’s voice made you shiver and caused your walls to tense more around his cock which in return, made him groan and curse under his breath. Dazai’s hips started to buck erratically and his cock twitched as a warning for his impending climax. He pushed your legs further back, angled his pelvis and thrusts upwards, hitting that little spot above your walls that just made you lose your senses altogether.
“You turn me on with just how much you want to be bred,” he chuckled breathlessly, “I’ll give you what you want, my brood. I’ll claim you now so no one else would ever can.”
With a loud grunt, Dazai planted his cock somewhere deep inside your vagina and started a faster pace. The new sensation made you see stars exploding at the back of your eyelids and you once again screamed out his name as your own orgasm came rushing in while the lewd sound of skin slapping against skin thundered throughout the whole room. Dazai grabbed you by the throat and forced his tongue inside your mouth, kissing you fervently. You felt like your whole body caught a fever as sweat dripped down from your flushed skin and your face beet red from the intensity of Dazai’s actions.
“Here it comes, brood,” he said in sonorous voice, “Squeeze your dirty little pussy and take all of my cum. Don’t you dare let one drop of it go to waste. I want it all to go deep inside your pussy and keep it there until it made its way up to your womb, understand?”
“Y-yes,” you mindlessly answered. Whether it was for his question or just an expression on how good you’re feeling right now, it made Dazai chuckled in amusement.
“What a good little breeding tool you are,” he praised in a singsong manner before moaning out as he feels his fluids seeping out of his cock. “It’s coming out. I’m spilling it all out inside you- ugh!”
True to his words, Dazai buried his cock deep into you as spurts of hot cum covered your walls inside and like a domino effect, your own orgasm came in shortly. Dazai’s hard thrusts as he climaxed made the pressure on your abdomen snap and implode throughout your whole body. Breathing was forgotten for a moment as you ride your highs together, frozen in place and your body fluids mixing in.
Dazai collapsed on top of you; his cock still plunged in deep in your pussy and his ragged breathing being in tune with yours. You haven’t completely recovered from your strong release when you felt Dazai’s supple lips on your face. His kisses were back to being loving and gentle like he didn’t just made you a mess. Oh, the extreme duality of this man.
“Are you done being jealous?” You teased him through your heaving chest.
“I wasn’t jealous,” he replied as breathless as you are, “If you can still use your legs tomorrow, I’m not being jealous. Believe me.”
You scoffed and took a deep breath as your lungs started to settle in. You lied there with him for a few minutes, letting his body heat warm you up against the cold breeze of the night.
“I guess I never really cared until I saw you with that guy.” Dazai casually confessed. “Maybe I should thank him for making me realize how much I don’t want to lose you. But I swear, if he ever touches you again, I’ll cut off his arms.”
A laugh vibrated on your throat as his sudden possessiveness amused you to a degree and you thought that maybe you like him more like this instead of being an apathetic lover. Maybe you’ll wear the bright colorful marks he left all over your body with pride to ward off anyone who will think you’re not completely taken by this mystery of a man. Through your fleeting thoughts, you wondered if anything would really be formed from Dazai’s invidious act. Perhaps you’ll just have to find out some other time.
#dazai osamu x reader#bsd dazai#osamu dazai#dazai osamu#bungou stray dogs dazai#dazaimw#bungou stray dogs#bungo stray dogs#bsd#bsd scenario#bsd scenarios#bsd imagines#bsd hcs#bsd x reader#bungou stray dogs imagines#bungou stray dogs scenarios#bungou stray dogs x reader
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So I was on PornHub(tmi) and I was watching this video from feelgoodfilth i think and it was this audio titled Daddy overstimulates your clit and I just thought of Tease!JK. Like tbh, I didn't find the audio sexy just cause of the fact that if it is not steamy, sensual, and in the moment, i'm just •_•. But if you listen to it, the words were ff worthy to me. So getting to the point ᶜᵒᵘˡᵈ ʸᵒᵘ ʷᵃᵗᶜʰ ᵗʰᵉ ᵛᶦᵈ ᵐᵃᵏᵉ ᵃ ᵈʳᵃᵇᵇˡᵉ ᶠᵒʳ ᵀᵉᵃˢᵉᵎᴶᴷ ᵃⁿᵈ ᴹᶜ ᵇᵃˢᵉᵈ ᵒᶠᶠ ᵗʰᵉ ᵃᵘᵈᶦᵒ ᶦᶠ ⁿᵒᵗ ᶦᵗ'ˢ ᶜᵒᵒˡ ᵐʸ ᵈᵘᵈᵉ ᴷ ᵗʰᵃⁿᵏˢ⁻
I really just searched pornhub like it was youtube all in the name of writing, if this ain’t thriving Chief then idk what is- also his words were highly ff worthy but the growling??? he sounded a little possessed at one point??? I fucking CRACKED up when he started growling at the end HAHAHA
Unedited like I was sleep deprived and theres probably a lot of typos but it’s straight up filth so-
Pairing: tease!Jungkook/Reader
Genre: S M U T
1 or 2k ish??? srry a drabble just wasn’t gonna cut it chief
Tags: heavy daddy kink OwO, toys, edging, orgasm denial, lots of teasing, overstimulation, forced orgasm, a little breath play, slight sir kink, and a whole lot of filthy talk
——
You swallowed thickly at the pastel pink silks Jungkook held in his hands, his legs straddled over your body, cheeks red and unable to fully look at him making a laugh bubble in his lips, “Why the scared look babydoll? You’ve been such a good girl you wanted this, right?”
With quivering lips you parted them briefly, eyes meeting his wolfish gaze that store down at you as if ready to eat his prey alive. No words could escape your lips making another confident laugh escape his lips, grabbing your wrists delicately as he pulled them over your head, “You know your safe word babygirl don’t act like an innocent angel when you were begging for my cock earlier.”
His words made you squeeze your thighs together, previous arousal already sliding down your thighs as he expertly wrapped the silk around your wrists, “And you’re already so wet again, you’re making a mess all over the sheets. Did daddy’s cock feel that good?” Your breath hitched as he finished tying your wrists to the bedpost, your body completely bare and on display.
Your nipples were perked from the cold air of the room and your body was beginning to burn from new arousal and anticipation, what you didn’t expect was the harsh sting of a slap against your thigh making you whimper as Jungkook pressed his tongue into his cheek, “I asked you a question babydoll, did you like daddy’s cock?”
Letting out a whine you felt embarrassment wash over you as you wiggled, another harsh slap stung over your skin making you yelp, fresh arousal slipping from your already wet cunt at the throb of pain as Jungkook chided, “You’ve been such a good baby all night, don’t ruin it now princess-“ He grabbed your chin forcing you to look at him, “Do you enjoy daddy’s cock? Do you like the way it splits that pretty pussy open?”
Your cheeks were bright red and your lips were quivering at the way his lips twisted into a sadistic smirk, eating up the way your timidity showed, “I-I love daddy’s cock…” You finally whimpered out, thighs rubbing together as the pout twisted on your lips, having been edged all night making you more needy then ever. Jungkook licked his lips, his smirk furrowing at how good his little girl was.
Jungkook grabbed your knees making you jump at the hot touch of his hands, “What a good girl,” his praise was enough to making you wet all over again, his hands pulled open your thighs making you let out a breathy gasp, cunt spread open and on display, glossy and wet just for him. His eyes feasted on the pretty sight making your face burn all over again as you shifted nervously.
“Shh don’t worry babygirl, daddy’s gonna take good care of that little clit,” Noticing your apprehension he gently petted down your sides, calming down your nerves a little as you obediently kept your thighs open, excitement burning in your stomach as he pulled out the vibrator. It was your favorite wand and he knew that all too well, in fact you loved it even more when he was the one using it on you.
Clacking his lips he could sense the change in your demeanor, Jungkook couldn’t keep the small smile from tugging on his lips as he clicked the vibrator on, “Someones a little excited,” he teased, letting the gentle thrum of the wand start at your neck, trailing your throat as he hummed, “Does baby wanna cum?”
Your lips quivered once more as you finally let out a small whine, “Please…”
Snorting a laugh Jungkook trailed the wand down your sternum, patiently circling your breasts as he curved a brow, “You’re gonna have to do more then that to convince me babydoll.”
Feeling him click the vibrator up a setting it consistently thrummed into your stomach, the anticipation nearly killing your body as your back began to arch a little, letting out a breathy plea, “Daddy please…! Please!” Jungkook was teasing your hips now making them buck into the air, your thighs rubbing harshly together at you squirmed.
Licking his lips Jungkook let the wolfish sadism set in his eyes, enjoying the increasingly desperation your voice cracked with and the way your body was beginning to react to his merciless teasing, “You sure you want it on that pretty little clit babygirl?” He asked, a playful tone in his voice making you kick your feet as you nodded.
“F-fuck please!” Your back was beginning to ache from arching and your eyes had snapped shut at the feeling of the wand vibrating so close to your clit, but just far enough away to not feel it, “Please! Please daddy I’ll be good girl- please!” Your hips kept rolling up to meet the wand he cruelly kept away from your soaked cunt.
“Oh I know you will babydoll,” Jungkook chuckled lightly, your eyes were nearly rolling to the back of your head as he lightly placed the vibrator over your clit, pleasure quickly thrumming into your body, “My good little baby, look at that needy little cunt wanting more.” You couldn’t keep your hips still as the rode against the wand.
Your arousal coating it’s silicon surface as you slid so easily against it, friction building in your clit as you let out a shaky moan, “D-daddy- mmm! Feels so good-“ you could hardly form a coherent sentence as he began to move the wand in rhythm with your hips, moving it slightly to hit closer to your sweet spot.
Your body was nearly burning from pleasure as your moans became shaky and cracked, wetness gleaming from the wand as Jungkook turned up its setting once more, a more powerful vibration drilling into your clit as you let out a gasp, “Are you gonna be a good girl and wait for me to let you cum?” Jungkook cooed out watching your hips desperate dragged against the wand, pressing it harsher against your sensitive bud making you yelp.
Your orgasm was ready to wash over your whole body was your eyes began to gloss, trying to keep yourself from cumming, “D-daddy! Please! Please I’m so close let me cum! Daddy please!” Your hips were beginning to shake as you tried to keep them still, Jungkook continued to rub the wand against your little bud making you pull at the silk with a cry.
“Not yet babydoll,” Jungkook purred, his smirk widening at the way your body withered beneath him, little tears dripping down your cheeks at being edged so ruthlessly, moans continually escaped your lips and you couldn’t hold it anymore, just as your orgasm came close to rolling through your body Jungkook pulled the vibrator away, “What did I say babydoll? You don’t cum until I say so.”
A sob had already escaped your lips as tears blurred your vision, apologies escaping your lips left and right as your hips continually bucked into the air in desperate search for a release that would not be found, “Daddy! Please! My clit needs it so bad! So bad! Please.” You babbled out with a sob, body aching in pain for your pleasure.
Jungkook wiped your tears as he cooed out, “I know babydoll but you have to be a good girl if you wanna cum,” You nearly cried again as he placed the shaft of the wand back over your clit, pleasure throbbing more intensely into your abused nub as moans ushered from your lips, “Now be a good girl and wait.” Your body was already intensely burning again, excitement building too quickly and you wanted nothing more then to just let go and cum all over the toy.
“Daddy please…!” you croaked out with a whine, eyes shutting as you tried to keep yourself from making a mess, Jungkook ignored your whines though as he turned the toy up to its last setting, the vibraton almost painfully drilling into your clit making a near scream escape your lips as he pressed it harsher into your clit.
“Go on babygirl, cum.” Your back instantly arched and your breathing became rapidly as your hips stuttered against the toy, moans escaping you left and right as you obediently came, your clit burning in pleasure Jungkook skillfully guided you through your orgasm, your mind nearly numb from the blissful pleasure you had been denied all evening.
Your wrists were beginning to ache at your continual tugging at the silks, your back arched as you whimpered, “Mmm! Fuck- fuck! Fuck! Daddy! Mmm!”
“Good girl baby, such a good girl,” His praise was enough to make you let out another string of moans, body coming down from its high and quickly becoming over sensitive, “Now can you be an even better girl for daddy and keep going?” You nearly whimpered at him quickly rubbing the shaft of the vibratior against your clit making you let out a yelp, the thrumming in your little nub making your eyes nearly gloss.
“Daddy…! I- I can’t,” You instantly cried out in objection, your hips only continued in his hands rhythm, unable to stop at your second orgasm quickly building in your body, “It hurts!”
Jungkook let the smirk coil back on his lips, ignoring your pleas and whines as he continued rocking the toy against your clit making you let out another sob, “Well daddy’s gonna make you then, I think that little clit can handle it. So be a good girl and cum,” His voice held a low growl making you whine, your mind becoming hazy as pleasure began to overwhelm your body, “I said cum you slut.” He growled once more, his free hand slapping down against the side of your thigh.
Pressing the wand roughly into your clit making you jump as you strangled out a cry, the orgasm forcing its way into your body as your thighs began to shake, tears rolling down your cheeks as a moaned sob bubbles in your lips, “That’s right baby, keep cumming for daddy,” Jungkook rasped out, his eyes dark and hungry as he pressed the vibrator further into your clit.
“Please! Daddy I can’t! I-I-“ You wheezed at the feeling of his large hand squeezing around your throat, his lips twitching with annoyance as he dragged the toy against your overstimulated nub.
“I don’t care babydoll,” Jungkook growled, his grip on your throat tightening with a squeeze making you gag, your body in complete hazy euphoria as he snapped, “You’re gonna be a good girl and cum for daddy again.” You nearly yelped at the pressure releasing from your clit only for Jungkook to push it inside you, “How about how baby? No more excuses you’re gonna cum.”
The wet noises were obscene as your walls clenched over the toy, his hand expertly pumping it inside of you dragging it along the spongy sensitive wall of your g-spot as you let out a cracked moan, yanking against your restraints as you gasped, “I- fuck! Jungkook!”
His hand suddenly squeezed tightly against your throat, “That’s not how you address your daddy is it you little brat.” He pressed the toy into your g-spot harshly as you clenched around it, shaky legged as the orgasm forced its way into your body.
Crying you wheezed, “No sir! No sir! Fuck…!” Your mind was completely overwhelmed as you let out another sob, body hyper sensitive to every little movement as Jungkook turned off the vibrator, letting it slip out of you before setting it down. Squeezing your legs shut you let the tears slip from your eyes as you weeped.
Jungkook laughed softly as he undid your restraints, “Shhh, you did so well babygirl,” he wiped your tears before scooping up your body, laying down as he tucked you against him, needly you curled against him as you let the tears drip down your cheeks, still overwhelmed by so many sensations, “You were such a good girl for me,” he cooed out softly, pressing a kiss against your head as he tenderly stroked your back, “Do you want me to put on a cartoon?”
A small, delicate ‘please’ bubbled from your lips but as soon as he shifted to get up you squeezed onto him tighter, frightened of letting go, Jungkook managed to pull out your laptop, typing in its password before putting something on and laying back down. Crawling on top of him completely you let out a sniffle as you buried down against his neck, “Was I really a good girl?” You murmured into his skin.
Jungkook couldn’t help the smile that pulled onto his lip as he looked down at his little crybaby, “You’re always a good girl for me babydoll.” Pressing a chaste kiss against your head once more before he let you unwind eventually falling asleep. You would always be his good babygirl.
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A recent situation has left me insanely pissed off, so I’m gonna lay down a few things about ink fam au before I lose my damn mind
Before I get into that tho, if you’re not gonna respect the established lore of ink fam au in the media you create, then make up your own fucking au. Don’t use the same goddamn names and ideas as me, come up with your own shit >:(
With that out of the way, let’s dive in:
1.) Mama is NOT a female
This is such a pet peeve of mine; Mama’s a fucking ink demon, he doesn’t conform to human biology, he can do whatever he damn well pleases. He wants to yeet out beans?? He’s gonna fuckin yeet out some gotdamn beans. I mean he conceived his first child by himself, no second party involved. And just because I draw him with his weight carried in his hips rather than a pot belly like the actual beta model doesn’t make him female either.
His name is Mama because in established lore I never actually posted here yet but did discuss with others, Shawn Flynn is the one who named him cuz Mama hoarded defective Bendy dolls like his own children. Shawn is one of the two humans Mama was actually friendly to while the studio was still open (Wally Franks being the second); Bean isn’t born until long after the studio has already fallen into ruin.
tl;dr - if you refer to Mama as a “she”, I’m drop kicking you into the sun
2.) The demons in the family CANNOT speak in the human tongue
Even though I make a lot of gags and the like with them talking (like my animatics), in the core of the au, they’re unable to communicate in English. They have their own language that friends and I conveniently refer to as “demon speak”; the audio clip I threw together a good while ago is a good indication of how they sound when speaking, but the range of sounds they’re capable of can be boiled down to:
- canon ink demon audio from the games
- Toothless from httyd
- baby goats
- birds
- dogs/cats (to a degree)
- guinea pigs
The only exception would be Inky mimicking human words much like a bird can, but you wouldn’t be able to have a fluent, coherent, meaningful conversation with him in English; Inky’s vocabulary is extremely limited.
Delving more into “demon speak”, Henry is the only one who can understand them fluently, seeing as he’s their creator and has that special connection with them. When translated, “demon speak” is a short, clipped sort of language. Their sentences aren’t as complex and they cut out unnecessary words, leaving in only the important stuff.
3.) Mama and Inky DID NOT fuck to make beans
This au is staying wholesome, y’all. When it comes to conceiving beans with a partner, Mama is bitten in the neck/shoulder area by Inky, and Inky transfers his ink through the bite, which he then grooms afterward to close up the wound. The transferred ink flows down and pools in Mama’s belly, where it begins to form into a bean. The ink starts out as a comfortable warmth that makes Mama drowsy, then the next day is when the bean really starts to grow and takes a toll on Mama. Gestation only lasts a month, so the bean grows rapidly and the pregnancy is rough to get through due to amplified symptoms.
4.) The beans are capable of both quadrupedal and bipedal movement
Despite me frequently drawing them as blobby lil baby loafs, the beans can shift smoothly between forms. Granted, they’re wobblier/less coordinated on two limbs since they’re babies, but they can still get around. The only exception is Alpha; he was born limbless, so he has to exert effort to form his lil nubbies in loaf mode, and nubs are the closest he can get to having any sort of limbs. He’s unable to keep them out if he’s expended too much energy. Alpha spends the most time as a turbo loaf out of all the beans since it’s the most effective way for him to get around; otherwise he has to struggle to push himself around or get someone to carry him.
5.) Early artwork from the original ink mama au- specifically Mama’s body type- does not correlate to current ink fam au content
It’s gonna be difficult to properly explain why this set me off without getting too lengthy, but all I can say is that part of this recent situation that prompted this post got super weird because it seemed to take body type into account when it came to character roles (aka Inky was pegged as Mama when Mama was just drawn skinny when I was first starting out).
I started off with the current Bendy model when I first came up with the original ink mama au because that was the canon, finalized version of him in the game. For anyone who’s followed the progression, you can see how I shifted to a chunkier build for him; it wasn’t until ink fam au kicked off did I start moving away from “canon ink demon but chunkier” and settle on basing Mama off of the beta model while keeping Inky with the current model. Mama has always been Mama, it’s just that his appearance has changed the more I got comfortable with how I wanted to handle the au. Ink mama au doesn’t exist on its own anymore, it’s been assimilated into ink fam lore as a stepping stone for current content.
I feel like there’s more I wanna add, but it’s almost 3am as I wrap up and I’m fading fast lmao
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reMarkable 2 Review
I had some requests for a review of this device, and I am glad to oblige in this case. I've been closely following digital pen stylus tech for about eight years. I'm just old enough that I still need to handwrite a lot of things to tap into my creativity, but greatly dislike clutter in my life.
The reMarkable is for the person that writes enough by hand to fill several notebooks a year. For someone that wants the tactile and somatic component of writing on paper to associate with their process. The new reMarkable 2 does basically what the reMarkable 1 did; faster, better, and with a much improved piece of hardware.
If you've read my previous review from May 2018, you know I basically raved about the first generation reMarkable. I had a few criticisms of the Gen 1, and a lot of that has been addressed with the Gen 2.
Support & User Experience
I've used a reMarkable tablet continuously for almost three years. I've never had a support issue with one. The software is updated regularly, features added, and user experience improved with each iteration.
There is really no comparisons to be made with that kind of uninterrupted usage. No smartphone, tablet, or computer you ever own will be that reliable. A 3-4 year old Thinkpad, running Linux, is about as close as it gets to that level of, switch-on-and-use, every day, without fail feeling.
The reason is that the reMarkable 2 is leveraging the most reliable hardware, user input methods, stylus technology, and operating system basis available. My fear has always been that my reMarkable wouldn't be as reliable as a regular piece of paper, and a good pen. So far, that fear has never been realized with the reMarkable 1, or 2.
Pen Stylus Input
The majority of what one picks up and uses will be Microsoft Pen Protocol (MPP) stylus tech, with Microsoft Surface Products, or Wacom AES (Active Electrostatic) like that found in a lot of Asus, Dell, Lenovo, and so forth. The older Wacom EMR (Electromagnetic Resonance) is used less frequently, and usually only with their own products, or a version thereof with Samsung Phones and Tablets.
Of the three options, Wacom's EMR is still the best.
That's what you'll find on the reMarkable Tablet, and if you get their Marker Plus (it's the black one) it has the magical EMR eraser tip opposite the drawing point. There is no better pen stylus experience, for general use, sketching, handwriting capture, tilt sensitivity, and so forth.
The Marker Plus is $50 more than the regular Marker. It is worth it.
What if you're like me, and you have a drawer full of pen stylus products? Products that include the legendary Excalibur stylus pen that came with the Thinkpad Tablet 10 Gen 1, and worked with the EMR capable Thinkpad Yoga S1 from 2013? The one with the eraser tip, and sweet felt tip point? Will that stylus work?
Yes. Yes, yes it will.
However, the reMarkable Marker Plus just feels better. It's heft (19g) is perfect, eraser tip rounded to feel like the real thing, and tips that degrade gracefully without marking up the screen. Buy. The. Marker. Plus.
The Hardware
The manufacturer says that the reMarkable 2 gets 3 times the battery life of the 1, is 2 times as responsive (relative to rendering digital ink), and is the world's thinnest tablet at 0.19". Mostly, this is all of this seems to be true. Also, as mentioned before all the new Marker Plus has a built in eraser, all the new accessories snap together with magnets, and it charges with USB-c.
The screen is capacitive touch capable now. No more page turning buttons, and you can swipe down from the top to back out of a document or folder. You can turn pages with the swipe of a finger now. It takes a second to get the gestures down, but they're crisp and reliable once you do.
The tablet runs off of a dual core ARM process (a good thing, in my opinion).
My only quibble is that it is supposed to be able to connect to both 2.4GHz and 5.0GHz WiFi, but so far I've only gotten it to connect to 2.4. It might be something with my specific router, and I'm not sure if my experience is typical.
On the lower left hand side of the tablet there are 5 connection points. This suggests that the tablet may have the ability to connect to other accessories in the future. If reMarkable added a Plain Text Editor, and a keyboard cover to the reMarkable, I would be over the moon.
There is no evidence that they will do this, but a guy can dream. Having what's basically an e Ink Typewriter this thin and light would be the ultimate for this writer.
The Software
It is much the same experience as the reMarkable 1 with a few new additions.
You can convert your handwritten notes into text, cursive or block letters, and share by email. There is support for 33 languages.
With a Google Chrome plug-in, you can read web articles and pages on your reMarkable. If you're already battling with eye strain from looking at glowing screens all day, this is a nice feature.
Reading large PDFs and eBooks is still not crisp and snappy, but it is a vastly improved experience when compared to the reMarkable 1. Large graphically intense documents can be navigated without it taxing your patience. What I store on my reMarkable is vastly different now because of how much improved document handling has become.
I find the small sacrifice in speed rendering pages worth it, compared to the eye strain I get reading on other screens.
More pens, features, page templates, and ease of organizing have been added incrementally over time. With regard to the core functioning (Linux Based Codex OS) of the device, the manufacturer has only ever improved and supported the reMarkable.
Aesthetics
The reMarkable 1 was good for what it could do. It wasn't a bad looking product, but compared to the reMarkable 2, it was a rough prototype. Most tablets do not feel as nice in the hand as the reMarkable 2.
Rubber no-slip nubs on the back, rounded edges, satin finished glass and aluminum, make the tablet itself feel like it's from the future. I bought the Polymer Weave Book Folio, a step up from the regular Folio. A close friend got the same device and marker options as I did, but opted for the Premium Leather Folio.
Definitely, get the Book Folio, and if you can scrabble together the extra money, get the premium leather. That's my only regret is that I didn't spring for the best accessory offered. Is the Polymer Weave good? Absolutely, worth the $99. It is rigid, will protect your investment, and it's very classy looking.
My friend who picked up the Leather Folio is a graphic designer, and has greatly informed my sense of aesthetics over the years. She says the Leather Book Folio is well worth the extra. She is, most certainly, correct.
So, yeah, if you're going to get a reMarkable 2 and want a slightly used Polymer Weave Book Folio (mine), I'll let it go for cheap (so I can atone, and get the leather version, ha ha).
Value
The reMarkable 2 doesn't have a web browser, app store, Merge Dragons, audio player, or other third party applications. It won't replace your iPad, or Android Tablet. It will replace all the paper, notebooks, and pens in your life. This is especially true if you have a small scanner (like a Doxie), and leverage reMarkable's Smartphone app and cloud sync feature.
This tablet is for people that like paper, a lot, but don't want to carry it around or keep track of it. It is for people that fill 8-12 Moleskines a year, and mark up hundreds of pages of documents, for themselves, and others. It is for people that tap into their creativity by writing things down, sketching diagrams, and making lists.
The act of holding a pen or pencil against paper is a cognitive trigger, built into their implicit memory, every day, for years, that allows them to do their things.
$399 will buy a decent Samsung or Apple branded tablet, but neither of those is designed to emulate the experience of writing on paper like the reMarkable 2 tablet is. The reMarkable 2 will run you $399, a Marker Plus $99, and a Polymer Weave Folio $99, bringing it all to almost $600.
Unless you lurk reMarkable's website, and wait for a promotion. They did run a promotion for their pre-order, and will likely do something similar within a year of release. It is my recollection that the manufacturer ran at least two promotions for the Remarkable 1, and the savings were significant.
If you don't need one right this minute, check the website every week or so, their Amazon Store edifice, and whatever other options they have for your region.
Competitors
In the last few years, reMarkable has only acquired more competition in the e ink Tablet market. That competition varies depending on where you live in the world. In the US, no one makes a thing that directly competes. I looked at other products, didn't see anything that made me pull out my reMarkable 1 and make a list of pros and cons for comparison.
That isn't to say there isn't a better thing for your use case, but there wasn't for mine.
Final Thoughts
If I didn't drive this point home earlier, I'm going to make it now. The reMarkable 2 will not replace your laptop, mobile OS (iOS/Android) Tablet Device (meant to replace your laptop), or Smartphone. There isn't even a calculator app on the reMarkable 2.
The Remarkable 2 will replace the pens, pencils, highlighters, notebooks, and print outs cluttering up your daily carry bag, desk, and life. It's a digital paper option, not a personal computing option. When used for that purpose, it is exceptional, and well worth the investment.
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Kinktober day 3 Prompt: Tribadism Other notes: Multiple Orgasms, Sensitivity/Premature, Oral Ship:Megatron/Rodimus
Megatron had had his doubts going into this. Of course he did, he had his doubts doing anything with Rodimus, but the potential benefits always did outweigh them. Not this time though.
He couldn't see any justification for Rodimus wanting to do anything that involved Megatron using his own valve. He had believed that Rodimus enjoyed his spike, it was easy to tell that he did, but Megatron really should have expected the adventurous young prime to want to try something new eventually.
"Well, I don't have to spike you if that's what you're worried about," Rodimus had shot back when Megatron expressed a little bit of discomfort with the idea, "I'm pretty good with my glossa, anyways."
"Can-" Megatron didn't know where he was going with that, "... Fine." He said, trying to mask his hesitance.
And that's what led up to it. No mention of what Megatron was even so nervous about. The truth was, he hadn't used his valve in quite some time. There were a few reasons for that. Firstly, he was usually the bigger partner in his relationships and the occasional tryst, which meant that whoever he was with would usually assume that he wanted to use his spike, and it wasn't as if he minded that. That wasn't what he was concerned about now, though. He was concerned about how sensitive his valve tended to be. Those occasional times that he would get to use his valve always had him overloading much too quickly for his liking, or being far too loud.
Rodimus took the initiative now, kissing at Megatron’s jawline and working his way down his neck, occasionally leaving a little nip or bite just to hear the stutter in Megatron’s cooling system. Large, gray servos held Rodimus’ aft, their usual spot, but that wasn’t exactly enough to convince Rodimus that he was enthusiastic.
“Okay, what’s wrong?” Rodimus asked with a huff, pulling back and sitting back on his legs. Megatron knew that he couldn’t get out of it,
“My valve can be... sensitive.” Megatron murmured. How uncharacteristic.
“Is...” Rodimus’ brow creased and a near incredulous smile grew on his lips, “Is that it?” His words were almost a laugh. Surprising the speedster, Megatron’s cheeks flushed. “Do you think that... You think I care about that?”
“I might not la-”
“I don’t give a scrap about how long you last, Megs,” Rodimus said, leaning back over Megatron now that he knew that he hadn’t done anything wrong earlier. “I just wanna make you feel good. And from what you’re saying,” His servo skated down Megatron’s front to land at his hip plating, “This’ll make you feel really good.”
Megatron’s engine purred at that, what a rare sound. With a quick “May I?” Rodimus continued where he’d left off, kissing down Megatron’s frame, stopping at his chest markings, then proceeding down his abdominal plating before-
“Open up for me,” Rodimus growled upon arriving at Megatron’s sealed valve paneling. Glancing off to the side with half lidded optics and tinted cheeks, Megatron sent through the command to disengage his panel.
He was ashamed of how wet his valve was. His lubricant freely dripped and pooled beneath his hips. Rodimus immediately dived to press his lips to Megatron’s valve, glossa licking up his soaked valve petals. He moaned against the mesh, only for Megatron to respond in kind, bringing up his servo to bite down on his knuckles.
“Rodim- Agh!” He gasped when Rodimus sealed his lips over his anterior node and sucked, laving his glossa over the sensitive nub. Megatron’s hips jumped in Rodimus’ grasp. The stimulation almost hurt, it was so, so much, where Megatron rarely ever received.
He wasn’t going to whimper or cry out if he could help it, but he really couldn’t keep back the gasps and moans and growls that left him. His breath was labored, his vents worked overtime to keep him from overheating, and his grip on the berth was almost enough to tear the berthsheets even though his other servo holding Rodimus’ helm was far more lenient.
“Rodimus, Rodimus, frag!” Megatron snarled, his hips rolling up and grinding against Rodimus’ mouth of their own will. “I’m...!”
He didn’t get out much more before Rodimus pushed the full length of two of his digits into Megatron, sending the larger mech crashing into his overload. His vocalizer sobbed static and he rutted and humped against Rodimus’ lips.
As soon as his overload ebbed, Rodimus was pulling away. Megatron had just enough time to catch a glimpse of his lubricant coated lips before he licked them clean and switched his position.
He slipped one leg under one of Megatron’s, and the other over then, in one quick move, disengaged his valve panel and pushed himself down, thrusting his valve up against Megatron’s.
Megatron shouted in surprise and the sudden shock of stimulation, his legs instinctively trying to close only to be kept apart by Rodimus’. With a devilish grin, the speedster immediately started canting his hips, rubbing his valve against Megatron’s.
Red optics flickering, charge leaping through his frame, Megatron could do nothing but reciprocate and mirror Rodimus’ motions. He rolled his hips, jostling Rodimus with the force of his movement. Megatron couldn’t think, he barely knew what he was doing. All he knew was to chase the pleasure that Rodimus so graciously gave him.
It didn’t take much more to have his back arching and frame quivering in another powerful overload, one that had lubricant jetting from his valve and making a mess at the join of their frames.
Megatron couldn’t register the shaky moans that left him, the sharp notes of static and the roaring of his engine, but Rodimus did. Rodimus did, and it was a symphony to his audio receptors, and he’d do anything to hear it again.
Rodimus lost count of how many times Megatron must have overloaded before he got his first. When that heat washed over him, Megatron was shuddering but he didn’t stop the grind of his hips, not until Rodimus did. And when he finally did stop, he collapsed back onto the berth, chest heaving with his venting. His legs trembled, but he couldn’t tell if it was from the exertion or the remnants of his charge.
Tired too, Rodimus crawled up to the top of the berth and flopped down next to Megatron, immediately getting as close to him as he could.
“Heh, you’re all messy,” Rodimus sung, eyeing the streaks of lubricant that covered the inside of Megatron’s thighs.
All the other mech did was sigh and pull his partner closer.
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A Stranger’s Kindness
It’s Friday again! Thanks to @cawolters‘s flash fiction Friday prompts, I find myself looking forward to it all week XD I hope you enjoy this late night drive! Feedback is appreciated ^u^
Prompt: Midnight Drive
Words: 1142 (Oh deer <.<;;)
Audio Version: Here Part: 2, 3, 4, 5
Characters: Stranger and Kid
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I’m not a good person. I’ve never claimed the title. A con artist, a thief, a stain on the family tree. Not a good person. Now, I’m in trouble.
I’ve been driving for hours. My vision is blurring at the edges, eyes dry from the heat blasting through the car. Or was it the persistent wakefulness still staggering along from yesterday? I’ll have to stop soon. Pull over and try to catch a few winks. Sleep won’t come. Not until I’m safe, or at least, less exposed. Glancing at the passenger seat, the kid’s nodding off again. He’s been alternating dozing and sitting quietly, hands in his lap, trying not the be a hassle. It’s a bit late for that now kid. Does it count as kidnapping if they want to come? Whatever way you swing it, I stole a child. My mind’s wandering. I have to keep focus on the road.
It’s got to be midnight by now. The clock in this old car is long dead. It looks like midnight. Like I’m driving into nothingness, following the white lines and hoping they take us where we need to go. There’s no-one else on the road. It’s been like that all night. I guess everyone else has somewhere to be and here’s not it. I bite into another piece of jerky. Saves me from worrying my gums. Terrible habit. It used to scare me, when I was little, seeing a lone set of headlights was always worse than seeing none. Even before I had reason to be, I was paranoid about being followed. The radio is on. No-one’s really listening. I keep an idle ear out for news reports but it’s mostly just awful country music. The tinny noise is really just a distraction. It’s barely louder than the gentle lull of the car. I don’t know what the kid is thinking about. I wonder if he regrets it. Is he scared I’m gonna take him to some backwater cabin and do away with him? Hack him into little pieces and scatter him in a river? I wouldn’t blame him. It’s not every day you’re stolen away by some strange person with nothing but their word ‘it’ll be better with me’. I sigh, drumming my fingers against the wheel. Reminding my hands to stay awake. The little vanilla air freshener sways, dancing around at every bump in the road. I’ve been meaning to replace it. It hasn’t smelled like vanilla since before the clock stopped.
The kid shifts again, half trying to wake himself up, half trying to get comfortable enough not to. Radio light catches on the tiny scales smattered across his skin. Freckles, if you weren’t paying attention. His hair is stuck in every direction like a chestnut bird’s nest. Twin horn nubs poke beyond the mess. His shirt doesn’t fit well over the fleshy wings furled tightly to his back. Am I going to have to learn to sew? My coat covers him well enough, trailing after his heels as he walks, but how long is that going to last? Kids grow fast. My fingers drum faster. What have I gotten myself into? Even my own mother would laugh at the thought of me being a caretaker. There isn’t a parental bone in my body. I’d never have even seen him if I wasn’t casing his house for crying out loud! How’s a kid supposed to turn out decent if that’s their role model? I don’t know what I’m doing. This seemed like a good idea before. How things change. But, I couldn’t do nothing. If you’d seen what his folks were like … . I almost don’t notice how tightly I’ve clamped onto the steering wheel. One week. I was watching their house for one week and I couldn’t just leave it alone. Kids don’t get hurt that often. I have to consciously unclench my jaw. Last thing the kid needs is to wake up to see murder written across my face. Deep breath. Hold it. Slow release. I’ve heard about Tainted people. We all have. But a kid is just a kid. Worse, he was their kid. They weren’t just some negligent owners, they were his parents for gods’ sake. So, I took him. Very much a thief in the night, I broke in, picked him up, and left. They can keep all of their useless junk. They can rot with it for all I care. I thought he was going to scream, fight back, do anything you’d expect someone to do. He didn’t. Even though he was trembling, he didn’t make a fuss as I buckled him in, telling him I was going to make things better. Somehow, that made me feel worse. It should go without saying, but I’ve never stolen a child before. Cash, jewellery, priceless heirlooms, it’s all fair game. I left it all. Left it to sit in the car with someone else’s kid, my kid now, I guess, driving into the night. God damn me.
That was yesterday. I’ve only made a food stop since then. Hopefully the distance will be enough to keep everyone off our, now literal, tail. Honestly, I don’t even know if they’ll get the police involved. Horrible as it sounds, I hope they don’t care that much. Regardless, we should be okay. There’s no connection between me and them. Just chance that I took interest in their possessions. Even if my … endeavours are known, I’m no kidnapper. Well, I wasn’t. This is really just a one-time thing. Hopefully. No, I think we’ll be okay. I’ve got a little place by the coast. I’ll take him there until I can work out the next step.
“STOP!”
Breaks slam. I throw my arm out. He’s shoved back against the seat. The wheel punches my chest, acquainting my ribs with my lungs. The radio murmurs, indifferent. Curses and static play tag in my skull. When my mind catches up to my body, I look around. Piece together what the heck happened. Check the kid first. He seems okay. He catches my puzzled look, pointing a shaking finger into the darkness. I follow. Squinting as though that will make my night vision better. Black against black, a form shifts ahead, barely touched by the high beams. Its shape registers in increments. First the body, it may as well be a wall to my car. Then the legs. Then the head. A cow, of all things. It’d wandered straight onto the road. I would have never seen it in time. Heart hammering my chest and nerves appropriately shot, I restart the engine. I kind of feel like giggling. I do not. We crawl past the cow, finding a place to pull over. The adrenaline drains, leaving a shuddering tiredness. I think I can sleep now. Just a few hours.
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Next week I’ve got exams Wednesday through Friday so I’m not sure I’ll have enough brain power to do the prompt, but I’ll certainly try!
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Tag list
@inkovert, @snobbysnekboi, and @cawolters
#flash fiction friday#fff15#original story#short story#one shot#implied abuse#writing#writblr#animation#gif
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Chapter 34: Come fly with me.
Pairing: Drake x (MC) Kate Darling
Travelling home on the royal jet, Drake shows Kate the King's private suite after dinner.
Rated: Mature, Explicit Sexual Content
Approx: 3000 words
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After dinner Kate and Drake are sitting together in a comfortable silence. Jerry, the steward, has collected their empty plates, and refilled their wine and whiskey glasses. As they continue to travel east they lose the sunset glow and the aircraft lighting takes over. Because they were seated so close together, legroom was limited and Drake's long legs kept invading Kate's personal space. A situation that was annoying at first, but soon Kate turned this around to her advantage. As she sipped her wine she would sneakily stick her toes up into Drake's pantleg. Whenever he would flinch it resulted in him banging his knee under the table and he'd scowl at her.
"Stop that." He warned her.
"Well then put your big feet somewhere else." She said with a grin.
"I sorta can't. Now keep your toes to yourself Darling."
Kate smirks at him as she finishes her wine. "Sorry, can't do it. It's nice and warm up that pantleg. And I happen to like the place where that leg leads to. "
Drake sucks in a breath to protest her torture tactics. Each time she tickled his ankle with her toe it was sending a jolt of sensation up into his groin. The knee jerk reaction was totally involuntary and was making his knee hurt. Soon he was going to have a significant tent in his pants and a sore knee to go along with it.
Shooting her another warning glance, he says. "Well if you're trying to get a rise out of me it's working so now you can stop. Besides now my knee hurts."
Kate grins at him from across the table, "Ok fine I'll stop. Do you want me to kiss your booboos and make them all better?"
Drake finishes his whiskey, "Kinda, sorta, maybe. Just not here."
Kate nods, "Ok then let's go."
Taking Kate by the hand Drake leads her back through the darkened seating area where Hana and Maxwell are sleeping.
He grins mischievously, stopping in the aisle to give her a kiss. She giggles as his hand roams down her back and then gives her ass a squeeze.
Holding a finger up to his lips he says "sssh"..
Hana stirs in her sleep, and Kate reaches up to cover his mouth whispering. "Come on, let's move on before we wake someone."
Taking her hand again he tiptoes to the back of the plane and twists the locking mechanism on the door and then opens it.
The King's chamber is dark, only lit by emergency light strips down on the floor. After they're inside Drake closes the door and locks it.
A touch pad on the wall by the door glows, displaying comfort controls for the room: Temperature, lighting level, and a call button for the wait staff.
Drake taps the panel, bringing up lighting controls. "So what should we go for, dark and romantic, bright and dazzling or somewhere in between."
Kate smiles, "Somewhere in between, I don't want to trip over stuff in the dark. I've never been in here before remember?"
Drake slides up on the lightbar to turn on the recessed lighting in the ceiling. For the first time the opulence of the space is revealed to Kate. Two overstuffed leather airplane seats are to the left, with a table in between. To the right is a large leather sofa and a mini bar. At the back of room there are two doors, one on the left and one to the right.
Drake points in the direction of the two doors, "One's a toilet the other is the shower." On the wall behind Kate is a large flatscreen TV with audio and video components built into the wall underneath.
Kate walks over and sits down on the sofa, sinking into the soft leather cushions. "Mmm, this is nice."
Drake takes off his jacket, tossing it onto one of the seats. Keeping eye contact with Kate he starts to unbutton his shirt. Her eyes travel down with his fingers as he undoes each button, and then she bites her lip when he reaches into his pants to untuck his t-shirt.
He undoes his pants, unzipping slowly. Kate can barely stand it, because his dark eyes are still on her and he's not saying anything. Shrugging out of his long sleeve shirt he lets it drop. He gives her a mischievous grin as he slowly pulls his t-shirt off over his head.
Standing there in his unbuttoned jeans and no shirt he crooks a finger and beckons her over, "Come here.." he says quietly.
Kate looks him up and down, biting her lip again, "No you come to me."
Drake walks over stopping a foot away, holding out his hand. Kate grabs his hand and yanks him down onto the sofa next to her, climbing on top of him and pushing him back against the cushions. Mashing her lips hungrily into his and grabbing handfuls of his hair, she moans against his mouth. He groans deep in his throat, pulling up at her shirt and sliding his hands up to unhook her bra. Sitting back she lets him pull her shirt and bra off over her head. Staring up into her eyes he slides his hands up her torso and grabs each breast, trapping both nipples roughly with his thumbs and giving them a squeeze. Kate moans and throws her head back with a hiss, grinding her hips against his lap. "Oh yes.."
Drake sits up, licking and suckling at her nipples, his hands going down to grip her ass firmly. "Kate.." he whispers against her skin as he kisses along her collarbone and licks and bites at her shoulder. She slides one hand up to grip the back of his hair, the other raking down the muscles of his back. Gasping at the sting of her nails, he growls, grabbing her and pushing her down on the couch. His eyes dark with passion he undoes her jeans and struggles to get them off. Grunting with frustration. "Damnit help me," he says. Kate lifts her hips and shoves her jeans down so he can peel them off. Her panties get pushed askew in the process, and Drake slides back up her body and grabs her by the hips, licking broadly across her belly and snagging the edge of her panties in his teeth. Kate arches her back grabbing for the end of the couch as he starts to drag down her panties, first with his teeth, and then his thumbs as he places kisses along her quivering inner thighs. They can both smell the moist heat of her sex as she begins to drip, throbbing to be touched. Drake pulls her panties off the rest of the way, taking a moment to gaze upon her wanton desperate state. Her chest heaving, eyes closed and her thighs spread. Fuck yes he'd seen nothing more beautiful in his life. She whimpers as he slides his thumbs up the inside of her ankles, then he tucks his hands up behind her knees, and bends then up toward her chest. Leaning in he appreciates how swollen and engorged her wet pussy looks. He licks the wetness off the inside of her thigh, and Kate jumps in surprise. Aching for his mouth to move just a few inches to the right and touch her where she really wanted him so badly. Using his thumbs he spreads her open and flicks her swollen clit with his tongue and she cries out. "Oh Fuck, yess..Drake."
Closing his eyes he laps up her juices, sucking at her swollen lips and continuing to lavish the nub of her clit with his tongue. Grabbing at his hair, Kate screams as she cums hard, spurting onto his face. He licks her up all over again. Sitting back with a smile he wipes his face. Standing up, Drake pushes down his pants and underwear and steps out of them. Heart pounding, her pulse throbbing in her ears, gasping for breath, Kate drinks him in with her eyes. She needed his cock so badly just looking at him naked made her want to weep.
Kneeling on the couch he takes Kate's hands and brings her forward. She wraps her arms around his neck and he lifts her up onto his lap. Rocking her hips, trapping his hard cock up against his belly, she rubs up against him. Enjoying the feel of his rough balls, and smooth shaft as they stroke against her swollen lips, fueling the ache, stimulating her to open up and accept him. Drake groans as she teases him, each time she rocked her hips he got closer to penetration but then she'd slide too far. The way she was clutching his neck and shoulders caused her hard nipples and soft breasts to bounce into his face. Damn this must be what heaven and hell must feel like.
"Kate.." he whispers. Grabbing her ass. "Tell me how you want it..how you want me."
Biting her lip she looks into his eyes and moans, "Fuck me hard, like a dog, stuff me solid with that magnificent cock."
Drake raises an eyebrow, her words sending a thrill down his spine and landing in the vicinity of his prostate. Damn he fucking loved it when she talked dirty.
Helping her off his lap he got off the couch. "Turn around and hug the end of the couch, put your delicious ass in the air."
Turning around and getting into position, Kate arched her back and wagged her ass in the air. "Come and get it Drake."
Chuckling at her amused expression and lifted eyebrow, he moves in behind her, one knee on the sofa the other foot on the floor. Slapping her ass firmly, Drake is pleasantly surprised when it makes her laugh. The pink handprint he leaves behind feels warm against his hip as he presses up against her, massaging her other ass cheek as he guides the head of his cock into her hungry swollen opening. Damn she was so hot and tight. With a moan of pleasure she pushes back with her hips and he pushes forward to make the connection. When she tries to wiggle her hips, he slaps her other ass cheek. Damn if that didn't just make her wetter. "Hold still, and let me fuck you." He says gruffly.
"Yes Drake." She says.
Holding onto her hips he starts off slowly, giving her long full thrusts each one feeling better than the last. Then he moves a little faster shortening each motion so he can add more force. The wet slap of his balls hitting her pussy stung him but excited him just the same. Her gasps and sighs of pleasure with each forward and backward motion fueling his desire to go even harder. The head of his cock was throbbing intensely but he wasn't ready to stop yet.
Outside in the darkened passenger cabin Maxwell is roused from his sleep. At first he's disoriented not realizing where he was, then he remembers he's on a plane. The white noise of the distant muffled whine of the jet engines and the sound of the ventilation system are all he hears at first, and he wonders what woke him. Suddenly he hears a slapping sound, and laughter. What the heck? Then he hears the muffled sound of Drake's voice. Maxwell sits up in his seat, listening. He hears Kate say something and then he can make out the rhythmic sound of creaking leather. His eyes fly open wide, and he covers his mouth, not daring to make a sound. Although he really wanted to laugh out loud. Shooting a glance over at Hana he wonders if she's hearing what's going on nearby. She's awake too, and can see his reaction despite the darkness. Shaking her head she just rolls her eyes and puts her earbuds back in her ears. Maxwell's phone vibrates and he blinks at the harsh brightness of his screen as he picks it up. Hana has sent him a text.
H: Don't worry I know what they're up to.
Maxwell snickers and then texts back.
M: How long have you been awake?
H: Since they walked through all giggling and smooching on their way to the other room.
M: OMG, really? What did I miss?
H: MAXWELL! Seriously, grow up.
M: Ok, Ok never mind. Doesn't it bother you?
H: A little, but they are consenting adults.
M: I know, I know but to me Kate is practically my sister. We do consider her to be an honorary Beaumont afterall. She's my 'little blossom' and to hear her next door with Big Bad Drake getting her petals plucked it makes me a little sad.
H: Sad? Based on your immediate reaction I thought otherwise.
M: Ok, it's funny and a little arousing too. It's like free porn.
Hana's gasp across the room, and sound of disapproval ends the conversation. "Oh Maxwell."
Meanwhile over in the King's suite, Drake and Kate are still busy with their amorous activities. Tucked balls deep into Kate, Drake is stroking her back, contemplating his next move. Kate sighs with pleasure, enjoying being full of Drake and the stimulating sensation of his warm hands massaging her skin. Looking back at him over her shoulder she smiles and says, "I love it when you do that. It's relaxing and stimulating at the same time. So tell me Drake, as you slide that hard cock of yours in and out of me what do I feel like to you, talk to me..tell me what pleases you most about it."
Drake smirks back at Kate, "You really want to know? It's agonizing and pleasurable at the same time. Like for example.."
He slowly pulls back out, leaving the head just tucked inside. "I so want to cum right now, and if I pull all the way out I probably would, all over your ass. But the hot tightness of you is squeezing the head of my cock in such a way that it feels so nice that I don't want to end it. Each time I..."
Drake pushes forward, stretching her to fit around him. "Oh God it's just like the sensation of your mouth on me, and when you orgasm around me it ripples along my shaft drawing the hot cum out of me like a rocket, the same kind of pleasing blast as a really good sneeze, that kinda tickles my asshole instead of my nose."
Kate can't help but laugh at his description. "So when I do this.." Kate focuses her vaginal muscles to undulate around him, and she can feel the nub of her clit twitch.
Drake gasps, "Geez, it's like getting sucked..and squeezed at the same time. Fuck it feels good, like a blowjob."
"Well then stay right where you are and let me blow your ass." She says.
Drake closes his eyes and groans loudly, "Speaking of ass."
Licking his thumb, he massages Kate's asshole as he continues to stroke her back. She moans and gasps at the sensation. With a smirk he asks, "You requested to be stuffed solid, May I?"
Kate giggles, "Keep rubbing my back and that's a yes."
Grinning, Drake pushes her right cheek to the side and pokes the end of his thumb in her ass. Continuing to stroke her back, he slowly begins thrusting in and out of her with his cock.
Kate moans and whimpers with pleasure, whispering his name. "Oh Drake, yes."
Shoving his thumb in a little further to the first knuckle, he notices Kate growing wetter, allowing his cock to glide in and out with ease. He changes his angle of thrust, pushing his thumb in all the way. Kate moans louder, "Oh fuck yes Drake, harder..harder.."
Drake pounds into Kate, giving up on the massage and holds onto her left hip while he clutches her right ass cheek, his fingers digging in. Sucking in a deep breath he groans loudly in his throat, his face wearing a grimace of shear determination. Goddamn he no longer cared who heard them, he wanted to make Kate scream out his name when he finally emptied his nuts into her. Grunting he whispers, "Cum for me baby, soak me with it. I wanna hear you say my name like you really mean it."
Kate grips the sofa, the intense pleasure of each thrust bringing her closer to totally unravelling. Closing her eyes, she sees stars, starting at a whisper and ending with a shout she says. "Drake.....Drake....Drake..DRAKE!!"
With one last thrust he goes deep, his ass clenching and he cries out "Ahh Fuck!!", as he slumps over her back and explodes, breathing heavily and holding her around the middle as he rides the wave of each spasm of his body. Kate collapses beneath him, her legs like jelly, as she struggles to catch her breath as well. Both drenched in sweat, they stay this way until their racing heartbeats slow down to normal.
Sitting back on his heels, Drake pulls Kate back with him, cradling her in his arms. "I bet you've never done that on a plane before my love." He says, kissing her on the cheek with a smile.
Kate grins, stroking his arm. "Definitely not. Nor on the ground either, you're a Wildman Mr. Walker."
Drake laughs, "You bring out the animal in me Darling."
Suddenly there's a frantic knocking on the door.
"Are you two Okay in there? Do we need to call the porno-medics?" Maxwell laughs.
Drake shakes his head, rolling his eyes, "Yes Maxwell we're fine."
Continue on>>
Tagging:
@fluffy-marshmallow-heart @debramcg1106 @drakewalkerwhipped @moneyfordiamonds @confessionsofabrokegirl @livschoices @drakesfiance @drakewalkerdrunk @jovialyouthmusic @wickedgypsymoon
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Chapter 30 Honeymoon Outlander AU
“ A real bed! Now the honeymoon can really start.” Claire exclaims when they enter the room that Mrs Fritz leads them too. It has stone walls, a stone floor, and a stone fireplace. But the bed looked soft enough.
“ What is a honeymoon?” Jamie asks as he kneels down to start the fire.
“ A honeymoon is where newly married people spend time alone together to get to know each other as husband and wife.” Claire explains as she takes her hair down.
“ Ah. Well that is a good idea.”
He gets the fire started and turns back towards her.
“ Can you help with my laces Jamie?”
“ Aye.”
He loosens the ones running down her back. The heavy skirt falls to the floor. She then turns to face him and he unlaces the front of her shirt. Within minutes, she stands in just her shift.
“ Now you,” she says her voice a bit hoarse. She reaches out and undoes his belt. It falls to the stone floor with a clatter. She then removes his kilt. Now they both are just in their shirts.
“ Claire,” he groans as he pulls her to him. His hands are hot through the thin material of her shift. She feels how much he wants her as he presses her close. She wants him too but also wants to teach him as much as she can before she leaves. A thought she can barely allow herself.
“ I want to show you something Jamie.” she breathlessly says as his hands work down to her arse.
“ Hmmm, and what would that be Sassanech?” As he talks, he leads them towards the bed.
“ I will show you.” She guides him to the bed. “ Lay on your back.”
“ Aye Claire.”
She climbs up beside him and lifts up the bottom of his shirt. He is very ready but instead of mounting him, she bends down and takes him in her mouth.
“ Claire! What are ye doing?”
She doesn’t bother to answer with words. Her actions are enough to tell him. She sucks and nibbles. Licks and kneads his very tight testicles. He gives up speaking in words she can understand. His moans and groans and broken by unfamiliar Gaelic words. It doesn’t take long before Claire feels him twitching against the roof of her mouth and the drawing of his testicles as they prepare to release their load. She swallows, pulling him deeper inside as she does.
“ What…what was that Sassanech?” he asks after catching his breath.
“ You darling just had your first blow job.”
“ Blow..blow job. I never knew, never expected such a thing.”
She grins up at him from his belly where she rests.
“ I want to teach you all I know.”
“ Ye are sure doing that. But ye couldn’t have received pleasure from that act?”
“ Well no. It is about giving not receiving.”
“ Then it be your turn to receive. Will it feel the same if I do that to you?”
“ Yes, if you take your time and pay attention.”
“ Show me what to do. I wish to make ye feel as good as ye made me.”
“ Okay Jamie.” She pulls the shift off and he follows suit pulling his shirt off.
“ Okay Jamie. Start at my breasts and work your way down. Do to me what you felt me do to you.”
“ Aye.”
He is gentle but determined. He suckles and kneads her breast until she is breathless and so turned on she feels like she might burst into flames.
“ Move down now Jamie. Please.”
He does. He nibbles on her belly and licks and sucks her belly button. She hadn’t realized that it was an erragenous zone until now.
“ Oh Jamie. I need.”
“ I ken Claire.”
And he does. He wastes no time parting her other lips and diving in. He licks and sucks as she withers and moans. When he finds her clit and draws it deep in his mouth, she yells out his name. She could care not if the whole castle hears.
“ Jamie, Jamie, Jamie.” She gets louder with every repition.
He fills the small nod of flesh in his mouth get harder and kens that this was where her pleasure would come from. He licks it up and down as her cries get louder.
“ Yes Jamie. Yes!”
As she yells, he fills his mouth fill with fluid and the little nub of flesh jump against his tongue.
Claire came apart. Her orgasm took over her whole body. Her arms and legs to heavy to move. Her heartrate and respiration was fast. She couldn’t take a deep breath. Her breasts so exquisitely sensitive that she feels she would not be able to handle them being touched. And her pelvis was pure sensation. She has never had an orgasm this powerful.
“ Ye feel good Sassanech?” he inquires from between her legs where he still lays. She can her the smile in his voice.
“ Beyond good Jamie. That was indescribably good.”
“ I always want ye to feel that way. Tis me job as your husband.”
“ Come here my husband. I want to hold you.”
They fall asleep in each others arms. Neither are aware that their was an audio witness to their lovemaking. That trouble lurks outside their door.
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SAMSUNG’S ODYSSEY G9 DOES THE WORK OF THREE MONITORS
I have been a technology cheapskate most of my life. I’ve rarely bought a monitor brand-new; I’m pleased to say I pieced together my current three-screen articulating swing-arm setup primarily from Craigslist and hand-me-downs. But this fall, I had an opportunity to temporarily replace my three aging displays with the most ridiculous, most advanced gaming monitor ever made: the super-ultrawide, super-curved, ultra-high resolution 49-inch Samsung Odyssey G9.
The Samsung Odyssey G9 is a monitor so big, so wide, so curved, it can fill a midsized desk and wrap around your entire field of view. It’s also simply a phenomenal screen: speedy (240Hz, 1ms, G-Sync, and FreeSync 2), high resolution (5120 x 1440-pixel), and bursting with brilliant color thanks to a QLED panel that tops out at an eye-searing 1,000 nits of brightness. I’m not kidding when I say I have to avert my eyes when I launch Destiny 2 in HDR, and I could swear I felt the flames the first few times my Star Wars: Squadrons’ TIE Bomber blasted an X-Wing into oblivion.
As they say on Reddit, I have ascended — and the past few weeks have been a gaming and productivity experience like few I’ve had before.
But gradually, I’ve been coming back down to Earth.
DESIGN
The Odyssey G9 is a showstopper, and I don’t just mean that figuratively: last January, attendees of the world’s biggest technology show were dazzled by its unprecedented curvature and sci-fi inspired frame.
When I put that same monitor on my humble IKEA sit-stand desk, the effect is otherworldly. Compared to my old hodgepodge of screens and rat’s nest of cabling, this G9 looks like a terminal aboard a Star Trek spaceship... even if my physical keyboard and its long braided cable ruin the illusion a bit.
The sheer size of the Odyssey G9 and its broad-shouldered stand do limit your options. I’m lucky that my small-form-factor Ncase M1 can fit behind the screen, and there’s just enough clearance (a little over six inches) for my Audioengine A2+ speakers to fit underneath the monitor at the stand’s highest position. But if I had a bigger PC or bigger speakers, I might have also needed a bigger desk — or else had to use the included 100mm x 100mm VESA adapter to mount the nearly four-feet wide, one-foot deep, 31-pound screen to the wall. My current monitor arms can’t carry nearly that much weight, though you can buy some TV arms that do.
As it is, I’m a fan of the way this monitor brings my whole desk together. Two DisplayPorts and an HDMI 2.0 port let me switch between three video sources easily, including a side-by-side mode which lets me display two at once, effectively giving my PC and game console (or a second computer) each their own 24.5-inch, 2560 x 1440 displays.
There’s also a two-port USB-A 3.0 hub and a 3.5mm audio output, which worked perfectly with my keyboard’s USB and 3.5mm audio passthrough. As you can see from my photos, I can do a lot with only a single visible cable thanks to those ports. And while the narrow V-shaped stand might seem a little minimal for a monitor this hefty, it takes a decent shove to get it to tip forward even at its highest position.
You can adjust the monitor’s settings using a tiny five-way control nub underneath the power LED, and it’s remarkable how much you can tweak — including the ability to crop the entire panel to 4:3, 16:9, or 21:9 aspect ratios instead of stretching out the image. You can effectively have a 27-inch HDR panel for your game console or TV whenever you need. It’s just a shame that the monitor’s biggest benefits don’t necessarily translate to its side-by-side mode, where your 240Hz HDR screen generally becomes a pair of 60Hz SDR ones.
PRODUCTIVITY
My first big test for Samsung’s Odyssey G9 wasn’t a console or even PC gaming — last month, I co-hosted The Verge’s industry-famous Apple event live blog, capturing every screenshot you saw. I normally run three monitors because I switch tasks like mad, and if there’s a better multitasking test than an Apple event, I haven’t met it yet.
At first, I wasn’t sure this epic screen would work. Most apps and websites aren’t designed to display across the vast expanse of a single 32:9 monitor, so you have to live in windows. I couldn’t simply toss one or two apps onto each monitor like I usually do. But while Samsung doesn’t ship the G9 with any good windowing software and Windows 10’s default Snap is woefully insufficient, Microsoft’s free downloadable FancyZones windowing manager worked wonders.
l built my own set of dedicated snappable spots for the Apple live stream; The Verge’s live-blogging tool; Slack; a browser window to keep track of any Apple press releases that might pop during the show; and even a narrow strip of Windows Explorer so I could see which images I’d already captured and weed them out as necessary. The only other wrinkle was the additional Chrome extension I had to download to ensure YouTube could launch “full screen” in a browser window, instead of taking over my entire ultrawide monitor.
In general, while I did occasionally miss my two vertically oriented monitors for scrolling long webpages, Google Docs, and Tweetdeck, I found the G9’s gigantic horizontal expanse of real estate nearly as effective for most tasks. Where I could only squeeze four narrow columns of Tweetdeck onto my old portrait-orientation screens, the G9 would comfortably fit five, plus a 30-tab web browser, a nice vertical strip of Evernote for note-taking, and our Slack newsroom alongside.
I wouldn’t say it’s better than having three screens for work, but it seems like a sufficient substitute — except maybe that toast notifications now pop up in the corner of my eye where they’re pretty easy to miss. Still, it’s nice not to have to match color, contrast, and brightness across three screens at a time, or adjust how my mouse crosses from one monitor to the next. Having a single, vast, unbroken expanse of real estate that’s always the same distance from my face (as I spin in my chair) is an absolute treat. And while the Odyssey G9’s unprecedented curve does tend to catch ambient light, the matte screen does a great job of diffusing any glare.
The ultrawide aspect ratio didn’t work as well for video as I hoped, though. While you might imagine 32:9 being great for movies, I had a hard time finding anything I could play in ultra high definition that wasn’t 16:9. Most streaming platforms won’t easily let you access their 4K and HDR content on a Windows machine to begin with — YouTube’s the primary exception, though Netflix works if you’ve got a recent Intel processor and use Microsoft Edge or the native app — and you’ll want 4K to take advantage of a screen this high-res and this close to your face. The 4K YouTube videos I played were definitely clearer than 1080p — I could really peep these pixels in Dieter’s iPhone 12 video review. And while standard 16:9, 1080p content does display just fine full-screen with black borders on the sides, it feels like I’m wasting a lot of screen real estate that way. Plus, the blacks are a bit gray, not the deep inky black you’d get from an OLED screen — particularly with HDR on and Samsung’s iffy local dimming enabled.
GAMING
The first thing you should know about gaming on the Odyssey G9 is that you’ll want a serious graphics card to go with it. Technically, 5120 x 1440 resolution isn’t quite as many pixels as a 3840 x 2160 4K UHD screen... but remember we’re also talking about a monitor that goes up to 240Hz. To properly review the Odyssey G9, I borrowed an Nvidia GeForce RTX 3080 to get enough horsepower, since my GTX 1080 couldn’t even run games like Death Stranding or Destiny 2 at 60fps smoothly at that resolution.
The second thing you should know about gaming on the Odyssey G9 is that it may not be quite as immersive as you’re imagining.
Don’t get me wrong: having an X-Wing cockpit wrapped all around you is an epic experience, and it feels like a true advantage to be able to use my peripheral vision in competitive shooters like PUBG and CS:GO. But it wasn’t long until I noticed something weird going on.
Look carefully at these images: notice how the sides are warped? Imperial deck officers and Novigrad Temple Guards aren’t generally this pudgy.
I tried game after game after game on the Odyssey G9, digging into my Steam, Epic, and Uplay libraries and tweaking a variety of settings, and this is simply the reality: every 3D game gets warped when you’re viewing it in a 32:9 aspect ratio, and there’s not much you can do about it. Changing your field of view in a game doesn’t get rid of the effect; it simply changes how much of the game world appears in the center of your screen (where things look normal) and at the edges (where they look stretched and zoomed). I actually pulled out a tape measure and checked: video game content that measures 4.75 inches at the center of the display can get stretched to a full 12 inches at the edges.
Now, this isn’t Samsung’s fault; it’s just the way games are built. Most games have a single virtual camera that exists at a single point in space, and while Nvidia once proposed changing that (see link above), the company’s Simultaneous Multi-Projection doesn’t seem to have made it into any of the games I tested. And in games with pre-rendered cutscenes, like Final Fantasy XV, you’ll be watching them at their original aspect ratio.
But before you write off 32:9 ultrawides right now, there are three things I’d like you to consider:
You might get used to it.
It’s not that distracting in some games!
2D games aren’t affected at all.
Let me give you some examples.
CS:GO and PUBG are incredibly competitive, nail-biting games where focus is everything, where you always need to have your gun at the ready and be scanning for any sign of movement. I don’t have time to turn my head left and right to appreciate the scenery or think about whether it’s warped. The G9 simply gives me enhanced peripheral vision, and it helps — not hurts — that things which appear in the corner of my eye are zoomed in by default. I got used to treating it as my peripheral vision and nothing else. (The 240Hz also comes in pretty handy in games like CS:GO where you can actually hit that frame rate.)
Genshin Impact, Abzû, Rocket League, and BioShock Infinite are games with gorgeous, colorful worlds whose proportions aren’t “normal” to begin with, and I love having them wrapped around me.
In Destiny 2 and XCOM 2, I found I could forgive the warping because of the enhanced field of view and the ability to easily zoom whenever you want. It’s nice to see more of the battlefield at once in XCOM while planning out how my soldiers will move each turn, and it’s pretty cool to aim down the sights in Destiny without the typical claustrophobia that comes with zooming in, since you’re still able to see what’s going on around you.
2D / 2.5D games like Worms W.M.D and Disco Elysium do look fantastic on the G9 — when you can find ones that actually support an ultrawide screen. That’s not a given: I managed to launch Soldat at 5120 x 1440 resolution, but it didn’t stretch across my monitor. Games with fixed widths like Streets of Rage 4 and Hyper Light Drifter won’t either. Even Disco Elysium only offers 21:9 support, not 32:9, unless you apply a hack.
And for every one of the 3D games that worked, I also found a Borderlands 3 or The Witness or Goat of Duty or The Witcher 3 where the warped geometry really bugged me, either because I wanted to sit back and look at the beautiful vista or because the edges of my screen were moving faster than the center.
In games like the hack-and-slash Mordhau or the road-tripping Final Fantasy XV, the distraction can also be when a piece of geometry that’s critical to the game constantly looks wrong. (Your Mordhau sword or axe often extends into the warped area of the screen; the road itself in FFXV looks curved instead of flat!)
Frankly, the most annoying game I played on the Odyssey G9 was figuring out which games would work in the first place. Here, I have to shout out Rock Paper Shotgun’s Katharine Castle, whose brilliant example-filled guide showcases nearly three dozen titles that do work, complete with GIFs so you can see for yourself. But if you’re willing to work at it (and understand the risks), a community at the Widescreen Gaming Forum (WSGF) and PCGamingWiki can help you hack and patch many existing titles to work at 32:9, too.
For instance, I installed a trainer that let me run Death Stranding at full-resolution 32:9, with an infinitely adjustable field of view, instead of the 21:9 that designer Hideo Kojima and company shipped.
Using a common tutorial, I hex-edited my Persona 4 Golden .exe and remarkably wound up playing what was originally a 480p PlayStation 2 game — and later a 720p, 16:9 PlayStation Vita game — at a glorious 3840 x 1080 at 32:9. (I do still need to figure out how to un-stretch the UI.) And there’s an old, unmaintained program called Widescreen Fixer that helped me revisit an old favorite:
I wouldn’t say the community is robust enough that you could necessarily find a fix for any game in your library. But the WSGF does now have a Discord you might want to check out.
THE ULTIMATE ULTRAWIDE, BUT THE BEST MONITOR?
The Samsung Odyssey G9 costs $1,479.99 — a premium price for a premium monitor like nothing else on the market. You can find other 49-inch 32:9 panels for less, but none with this combination of resolution, brightness, curvature, and refresh rate. The closest you can come is last year’s $1,200 Samsung CRG9 which maintains the resolution and brightness but with half the refresh rate at 120Hz and a notably less pronounced 1800R curvature — which, I imagine, wouldn’t be as good at giving you convincing peripheral vision in games.
If you’re looking for the ultimate ultrawide, this is currently it. I’m just not convinced that I am, personally, even if I had that much money earmarked for a new screen. For $1,500 and the enormous amount of space the Odyssey G9 consumes, I could buy a 48-inch LG OLED TV instead. I’d get a screen just as gigantic for my multitasking, but taller, with 120Hz G-Sync and FreeSync support, incredibly deep blacks, HDMI 2.1 for variable refresh rate for the PS5 and Xbox Series X, and no need to troubleshoot aspect ratios for my videos and games. Linus Tech Tips has a video that dives deep into the pros and cons of that LG screen, and I came away fairly convinced.
It wouldn’t be the same experience that the G9 offers, of course, and I might regret it if Nvidia and AMD ever dust off Simultaneous Multi-Projection for real. The TV might also cut off access to a large portion of my desk, and I might not be able to place my PC and speakers within easy reach without blocking a bit of the screen. But I’d have a more obviously future-proof setup; an equally, if not more gorgeous image; and a lot less ambient annoyance when I want to game. At the very least, here’s hoping Samsung adds HDMI 2.1 to this epic monitor next year.
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