#well. i'm gonna do nothing and change none of my habits

[pride-of-storm]

i have Seven library holds ready to pick up and that is So Many to carry home

[luvfy0dor]

"You Are In Love!!" - BSD x GN!Reader ੈ✩‧₊˚

╰┈➤ Fyodor Dostoevsky, Chuuya Nakahara ♡

Warnings; none pure fluff and sweetness

Description; Drabbles (I actively attempted to make these shorter than the timeless ones but I clearly have a yapping issue) of Chuuya and Fyodor based off of You Are in Love by Taylor Swift in honor of 1989 (Taylor's Version) today. This one had a lot of cute little prompts for small scenarios so I thought I'd take the opportunity.

A/n; yawning is contagious you guys I proved it because I wrote about yawning and then I yawned, also I have so many 1989 TV thoughts now so im gonna write them while writing asks at the same time, so im sorry for those of you guys who dont like Taylor, that's totally valid. Hmu w/ music themed requests if you wanna see a different song.

Fyodor Dostoevsky ੈ♡

“Coffee at midnight”

You sat on your boyfriends lap, facing him while he typed away, working on God knows what. You didn't ask what it was at that very moment, too sleepy care. You breathed in his scent, your arms tightly hugged around his torso. Any time he took a break from typing, his left hand immediately went to stroke your back, his lips moving and ghosts of whispers slip out from between them as he read over the text. You nuzzled into his neck, pressing sweet, chaste kisses to his pale skin every now and again.

You were playing with his hair softly when you could hear him yawn. "My dear, do you mind getting up? I'm going to make some coffee for myself." He murmurs, his head turned a bit in your direction. You nod and get off of his lap, standing up and rubbing your eyes a bit. "Yeah, sure, but coffee? It's midnight.." now you were yawning. He nods, standing up and heading straight for the kitchen. You trail behind him, drowsily following along. Luckily, the lights of your kitchen were dimmed rather than being at full brightness. He stood against the counter, starting the coffee machine and grabbing a mug for himself while the drink started to brew.

"Do you want some too?" He asks, noticing your stare before you yourself even could. You shook your head, holding your upper arms for the warmth that Fyodors body had previously been providing to you. You yawned again, making him smile ever so slightly in amusement. You leaned against the counter with your eyes closed, almost starting to nod off. The two minutes it took to make the coffee passed within the blink of an eye, you being woken from your sleepy and dazed state by Fyodors thumb caressing your cheekbone.

"Moya Lyubov, you don't have to stay up with me. I appreciate it, but if you're tired you should sleep." He softly murmurs while looking into your eyes. "No, no, it's fine, don't worry." You say, standing straight up and walking with him back to his little work space. He sat right back down on the chair, opening his arms for you to crawl right back onto him. He sipped on his coffee, and the aroma made you regret your decision to reject a cup for yourself. You moved your head to rest on his shoulder sideways instead of upright so you could get a better look at him while he drank from the ceramic mug.

He glanced at you while he did so, sighing into the glass and handing it to you without even needing to hear anything from your mouth; he just knew you that well. Perhaps it was your predictably, or maybe it was his attentive habits regarding your body language and every expression. You took the mug, bringing it to your lips and drinking a small amount, making sure that you didn't chug it and leave nothing for him. You handed him back the glass, wiping your top lip off before you pressed a kiss to his cheek, making him smile a bit.

"So much for not wanting any, hm?" He teases quietly, leaning his head against yours. You just roll your eyes at him. "Well I changed my mind a little." You mumbled, your hands rubbing up and down his sides gently. Your eyelids felt as if they had weights attached to them as it became harder to keep yourself awake. Fyodor had taken notice of this numerous times, before getting coffee, while getting coffee, and even after you had taken a sip. If the caffeine had any effect on you it clearly was not immediate.

"That's alright, I don't mind sharing it with you." He says quietly. You hum in response as a thank you while you drifted off into a calming sleep. Fyodor noticed you fully knocked out after about a minute or two. He smiled and kissed the side of your head, whispering to you. "Goodnight, my love, sleep well."

Chuuya Nakahara ੈ♡

“You kiss on sidewalks”

You looked up at the stars in the night sky while you walked down the streets of Yokohama with Chuuya. Late night walks were never something you found enjoyment in before Chuuyas presence in your life. Not only did Chuuyas ability and profession absolutely make you feel safer, but he was someone to talk to while you walked. It wasn't silent, but filled with conversation about your day, passions, etc.

His hand was holding yours while he listened to you rambled on about a book you had started reading, explaining the plot to him. Chuuya wasn't an absent listener, he didn't just nod and "ohhh" every now and again, he actually asked questions about it and commented on the actions of characters and what not. Chuuya didn't ramble much, but when he did you offered the same undivided attention. You loved watching his eyes light up whenever he talked about something that excited him; he specifically got riled up about his missions, explaining what he did with as much detail as he was allowed to.

And that's what was happening. You walked along the path, holding your boyfriends hand while he told you about how he acquired a new small cut on his cheek. You asked him about it and he got so worked up, it was almost funny. The amount of slandering he put on the name of some random guy he had to fight was a little much, but it was his opponent and enemy, so you didn't comment on it. His other hand was moving around very quickly while he passionately told you about the encounter, annunciating every word and speaking clearly.

"He was so annoying. Obviously I dealt with him real fast, but now I've got this cut on my face." He says while rolling his eyes. You snicker a little. "Oh yeah, I totally get that. He sounds like he sucks, but I think the scar is kinda hot, to be honest." You laugh, standing in front of him and brushing his bangs out of his eyes. He scoffs and places his hands on your arms. "Ofcourse you do, doll, you're...well, you're you." He says, rubbing your shoulders a bit.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Your eyebrows were furrowed as you stare him down. "I know you like the back of my hand, I knew you'd find somethin' like that attractive. It's like, your thing." He says, the street light you stood under casting a yellow glow overtop the two of you. The shadows that projected onto his skin because of the angle hid the blush on his face relatively well. "I pay attention to you, ya know.." he murmurs, making you grin and gently cup his face.

"Oh I know you pay attention to me; everytime you bring up some random small detail about me it makes my heart flutter." You say, looking down at his lips through the black veil of darkness on his face. "I'm glad I can make ya swoon, darlin'.." he mutters, both of you leaning into each other, your hands interlocked and giving each other soft squeezes as your lips gently collided with one another. You pulled away after a couple seconds, but you felt yourself pulled right back in as the two of you softly giggled with one another, his gloved hand pressed against the back of your neck.

Your lips moved against his, soft hums of approval coming from his throat. When you did finally part, the both of you looked into the other's eyes for a second before breaking the stare and grinning. "I love you a whole lot, y'know?" He says, sliding his arm around your waist. You did the same and nodded. "I know, I know. I love you a whole lot, too." You say, kissing his cheek while the two of you walk home to retreat for the night.

A/n; I have a couple of things to say; 1- this is not a theme switch, it's only blue and white for 1989 TV, 2- I know these aren't the most obviously related to the song, but I felt inspired. 3- I was gonna do more characters for this but I don't wanna in this moment, would y'all wanna see that?

[strangemaleswaps]

Strange Cop Dad Swap

I made my way to the kitchen, expecting some good alcohol since Brittney was rich. Holy shit! There was a huge variety of everything! Now THIS is what I expected at a college party! Who fucking cared if I wasn't even in college yet, or old enough to drink? This shit is crazy!

"What would you like my good sir?" asked some random guy at the table. I didn't think he was an actual bartender, since he was wearing normal clothes. Probably just some weirdo.

"Oh I dunn-" I didn't even finish my sentence when he put something into a shaker and poured it into a red plastic cup. He then handed it to me. Well, I guess if I'm at a college party, I gotta act like a college party guy. I chugged it all down in a second. Suddenly my throat burned like hell.

"Fuck man, one step at a time! Save the chugging for cheap beer. These drinks are classier." He poured me another. "This time baby steps my man."

I was kinda mad, but accepted the drink anyway. I walked back into the living room where people were on the dance floor. I saw my buddy Trent dancing with yet another random girl he just met. I swear that dude solely exists to break hearts.

"Hey! Garrett! Did you get the drinks?

"I got one. If you want one, go get it yourself."

"Ah fuck you! But seriously though aren't you scared your dad's gonna show up? I mean he IS a cop around here."

"Probably not. I'm sure there's lots of parties going on right now. What are the chances that he'd come to this one?” I noticed someone started talking to Brittney. It must've been bad because she widened her eyes and turned the music off. With the new silence in the room, we could hear the blaring police sirens outside.

"Shit who called the cops?" Someone said. The door opened and none other than my stupid dad appeared. His ugly bald head reflected the multicolored lights and he looked around at everyone, while I tried to hide myself behind the crowd. Beside him was the sheriff, Marty. My dad may have been good friends with Marty but he didn’t have to bring the fucking sheriff for something as simple as this.

"Allright allright, party's over. Nobody's getting arrested as long as you cooperate." Everyone started walking out the door and I was exposed. My dad widened his eyes when he noticed me.

"Garrett?! What the fuck are you doing? You know better than that!" He just HAD to start the lecture NOW out of all times, embarrassing me in front of everyone.

"What? I can't come to a party now?"

"Don't try excuses on me! I saw that cup in your hand. What? You expect me to believe that's water? Get in the car. Everybody else move it!” We both started walking outside while Marty stayed to lead the others.

Inside the police car, we were silent for a while until he blew up on me once again.

"I can't believe you were fucking underage drinking! Do you have any idea how irresponsible you are?! You're in your senior year of high school. Do you really think that’s going to be a good habit when you go to college?! You're grounded until graduation. I don't care how harsh that sounds. Graduation you hear?” I knew that nothing I said would change anything so I kept my mouth shut the rest of the car ride. 

Back at home, we said nothing to each other as I walked up to my room and slammed the door. About an hour went by and I heard a knock, followed by my dad coming in.

"Hey."

"Go away."

"I just wanted to say that I overreacted a bit back there. It made me so angry seeing the type of person you might’ve ended up as." He was fumbling with his wedding ring. I don't know why he keeps it on anyway. I never knew my mom, and it's clear my dad is divorced so why does he wear a damn wedding ring? He needs to find a girlfriend or something!

“You have no idea how stressful it is! Why can’t I go to some little party just to unwind?”

“I was young once too! I just don’t want you to go down a bad path. You have so much more to learn. This isn’t a good habit to form when you go to college.” It was then that I blew up on him.

“Hey at least I am going to college! Unlike a certain dumbass cop…” His eyes widened and I saw nothing but pure anger on his face,

"I was going to shorten your grounding sentence, but after that attitude not anymore!" He then slammed the door once again.

Trent texted me a bit later, asking if I was going to be able to go to Brittney’s homecoming party. Shit! I forgot about that! There was no way I was going to miss it so we devised a plan for me to sneak out.

The night arrived and I had my plan all set. Trent was going to call the cops on some other party to lure my dad away. When he leaves, Trent will come and pick me up and it's party time! I was in my room pretending to be bored, when right on schedule, my dad came in.

"I got another dumbass party to shut down so stay here, and don't even think about leaving this room. You're still grounded." He had a serious look in his eye.

"Sure sure. I'll be good," I said sarcastically. I looked out the window and as soon as his car was out of sight, I texted Trent. Within minutes he arrived. I quickly got dressed and he picked me up.

"Dude, you're either the bravest guy ever, or the stupidest."

"Hey, I won't stay too long. Just enough to see what it's like really. And then I'll be back in my room before he comes home."

The house was easily twice as packed as the last party, it was incredible. Brittney came down the stairs and approached me with a confused look on her face.

"Hey, wait I thought you were grounded or something. Aren't you afraid your dad is gonna come back? He better not."

"Nah, relax. He's doing some other stupid police work. I won't stay too long anyway."

"Allright, if you say so."

I went to the kitchen, like last time, to find an even bigger variety of drinks! Nobody else was in there so I thought I'd experiment myself this time. I picked up the shaker and started pouring drinks, even though I didn't know what the hell they were. But I didn't care! I'm just glad I was able to sneak away from my dad. I tried the drink and…well it was actually awful. Oh well. I headed to the dance floor and started showing off my moves. I could hear everyone cheering me on until I felt a bit faint. The last thing I remembered was falling over and a couple people looking at me concerned.

When I opened my eyes, I was outside in the dark. What happened? Was I that drunk and they kicked me out? I felt pretty normal though. I walked back up to the door. When I closed it, a draft flew in, which was especially cold on my head for some reason. I let out a deep breath and when I turned around, everyone was staring at me. But it wasn't the type of confused stare I expected; it was a terrified stare. The music stopped and it felt like they were staring into my soul.

"Uh, I'm ok now.” My voice sounded really weird. There was an awkward silence until someone shouted in the back.

"Well party's over…AGAIN!" As everyone started walking out, I noticed Brittney was yelling at someone on the floor.

"Nah, fuck you Garrett. You're not allowed here again. Get up!" Weird coincidence that there was a guy with the same name as me on the dance floor too. As the crowd cleared, I felt a chill down my back as I found “Garrett” looked exactly like me! He seemed to be unconscious. When I approached him and Brittney, she looked up at me…which was weird because we were the same height. Did she get shorter or something?

"Oh uh, he didn't get beat up or anything bad. Just had a few drinks I guess." She spoke so compliantly, unlike the normal way she gives me attitude with every sentence. I noticed the guy on the floor was wearing my clothes too. He didn't just look like me, he WAS me! Was he a clone or something? What's going on? A breeze came through the still-opened door and hit my head again. Why is it so cold up there? I touched the back of my head, and felt a smooth spot. What the fuck? I searched around for my hair…for ANY hair! But all I could find was a smooth bald head. It couldn't be…I looked down at myself and found I was wearing a police officer's uniform, complete with the badge and full utility belt. Brittney stared at me, concerned.

"Is uh everything all right, officer?" No no! Don't call me that!

"I uh, can I use your bathroom?"

"Uh yeah, it's up the stairs and to the left."

As I made my way up and through the hallway, I stared down at my hands, noticing eerily similar things - a wedding ring and a watch that looked exactly like the one my dad wore. I opened the bathroom door and quickly locked it. I gazed into the mirror to find my fears had come true. I turned into my dad!

I grabbed my cheeks and tried pinching them, to make sure it wasn't all a prank and I was just wearing a mask, but nope. I could feel it all. It was real. Fuck! I saw how smooth and shiny my head was; I knew he shaved his head every morning, but I didn't realize how smooth doing that actually made it. It's like a fuckin bowling ball. I hate this! I had long hair before and now it's just all gone! It was freezing up there! I hated cops, so it was really uncomfortable wearing an officer's uniform too.

"Hey are you ok in there?" It was Brittney. I faked a flush and washed my hands.

"Is Garrett still asleep?" It felt weird referring to myself in the 3rd person.

"Yeah he won't wake up."

"I'll just carry him to the car."

Brittany walked to the kitchen, probably to clean up the alcohol before I saw the amount of it. When I got to the living room, I found Marty standing there. He looked up when he approached me and pointed at me. 

“Hey you! What do you think you’re doing?” Shit. Does he know?! 

“I’m sorry I-” He turned his fake frown into a smile.

“Don’t be. Sometimes we just can’t let anything else come before our duty. Even me.” He leaned over to kiss me. What?! What’s going on? “I guess we’ll have to reschedule that date to some other time.”

A date? Does this mean the whole time, my dad was gay? And for Marty? Was the whole wedding ring thing a facade? Marty actually had one too so maybe they both did it to prevent a scandal within the police department or something? I snapped back to reality when I noticed Marty was still waiting for an answer.

“Uh yeah, sure. Of course!”

“Good! Let me know!” He rubbed my bald head. It was then that I started getting hard …my dad's cock was getting hard. Marty wasn’t my type though! But suddenly the thought of him was making me feel good. Is this because I'm in my dad's body or because he's flirting with me? 

I picked up..myself..off the dance floor and put him over my shoulder. I walked over to my dad's police car, and reached into my pocket for the keys to open it. I placed…myself inside, buckled him in, took my phone out of his pocket, and sat down in the driver's seat. I always hated my dad and hated cops in general but it felt pretty awesome actually sitting in the driver's seat of a police car. Like one of those movies where they have to steal one to save the world or something. The flashing lights were still on, but luckily I knew how to turn them off. I pressed the button and began driving home.

When I got home, I picked up my body once again, and carried him. It didn't really occur to me earlier, but if I'm in my dad's body, does this mean he's in my body? Fuck, I can't stand the thought of my dad going around embarrassing me in front of everyone! But he still hadn't woken up yet. What if whatever magical spell made us swap was keeping him asleep? But if he does wake up I need somewhere to put him at least. I walked upstairs and towards his room, and placed him on his own bed. I guess that'll do. I went over to my own room and plopped onto my bed, the pillow feeling extra comfy touching my bare head. I rubbed it again, actually kinda enjoying how it felt. Even though the body belongs to my dad, I'm still borrowing it right now. So I guess I have the freedom to touch myself anywhere. Not that I would want to go…down there. That's my dad's cock, gross! But I'm gonna need to jerk off eventually; I'm already feeling kinda horny now…but why? The thought of Marty crossed my mind and I suddenly was imagining him naked. Shit, not this again. He kinda was cute though, in like a lame cop kinda way. Man, I honestly wanna fuck him now.

At this point my cock was getting so stiff that I could barely take it. I started stripping, taking the heavy utility belt off first. Each garment came off until I was just in my dad's boxers.

I can't believe I was about to do this. I felt around my new dad bod, then peeled the underwear down to see my dad's cock. It was actually pretty big, maybe like 10 inches or so! So nasty…but I had to focus on the thought of Marty to stay hard. I took the underwear off so I was fully nude, laid down on my bed and started jerking it. I imagined Marty cornering me against the wall, kissing me until he grabbed my cock. He then got down on his knees and started sucking it until…I was pulled out of my fantasy and came. The white load shot all over my bed, much further than I could ever do in my body! After the climax wore off, I realized how gross it was that my dad's cum was all over my bed. But it felt so good! Actually, I have no clue how long I'm gonna be like this, or how long my dad is going to stay asleep so I could definitely take over his life for a bit. I'm not grounded anymore! Even better, I guess I'm a cop now so I have power and authority! I took my dad's phone - I mean MY phone - and called up Marty.

"Hey Marty, I have an idea…”

[silvvermst]

BAD HABIT

SYNOPSIS :: getting high with Warren on your prom night was not what you planned to spend your evening.

NOTE :: yep, I've been listening to Steve Lacy a bit too much. Might even create a part two for this.

TYPE :: fluff

You were with your boyfriend when the prom started, you and your friends immediately went for the free photo booths. Of course, there were buffets and stuffing your face with your food while maintaining not to get any stains on your gown was ridiculously hard. Until you bumped into someone, wearing a black tuxedo and slacks paired with a... black converse.

The stain on your dress was what made you snapped from your trance, “No! Ugh. Not my dress, I've been careful all night.”

“I am so, so, sorry. I, I'll get some napkins.” He was about to move but you stopped him, “It's fine, if we wipe it now it'll just smudge.”

“Is there anything I can do?”

“No, just go.” Well, a stain won't be enough to ruin your night. It's fine, so you decide to walk away wanting nothing more than comfort from your boyfriend.

The slow dances were already finished, most of the teachers had gone home but the band and the students were still here. It only means one thing, the bright fluorescent lights were turned off and replaced with party lights flashing different colors, while the music was blaring loudly from the speakers that even outside the venue, you can lightly hear the music. The juice that was on the bowl was immediately replaced with booze creating cocktail shots for everyone. And of course, the party turned into a completely different vibe. Everyone was dancing left and right, out of their minds for the night.

You found your friends already at the dancefloor, while your boyfriend is MIA. Deciding to go to the bathroom and wipe the stain as fast as possible to join your friends. That was your plan but the moment you opened the comfort room, lo and behold, your boyfriend was making out with another girl at the sink. Didn't even think to at least do it inside of the stalls. You clutched your purse close to you, fingers gripping harshly at the edge as you hold in your emotions.

“I knew it! I'm such an idiot to believe you actually changed. Fuck you, now you absolutely ruined my mind. Thanks, we're done.”

“Wait, hey, this was just a misunderstanding.” He tries to catch up with you but you are already out of the bathroom.

You weren't even thinking about where you were going, your feet moved on their own. Are you gonna go home and cry yourself to sleep, or get drunk and sleep with the next person you see? Wait, you're not that kind of person, maybe just drink a lot with your friends until you pass out.

As if your night couldn't get any worse, you bumped into someone again! Your head hung low rubbing the throb on your left arm, until you saw that same pair of converse again.

“Oh! There you are, here I have some napkins with water, I looked it up and they said we can remove the stain with water.” All you heard was the music being played, none of what he just said.

“What?!” You asked loudly, trying to be louder than the sounds bouncing off the walls.

“I said! I! Brought!” Ge stopped mid-sentence. Instead, he holds up napkins and points at the stain on your dress. “Go! To! The! Bathroom!”

This time you heard him clearly, then instantly shook your head, looking back at the bathroom, coincidentally, you saw your ex and the girl walk out of the bathroom. You didn't have the strength to face him and instead, dragged the boy you bumped into the rooftop of the building. Practically running to the staircase leading to the rooftop.

You heard his protests and tried to stabilize himself from being dragged by you, and finally you saw the door to the rooftop and opened it. The cool, air breeze through your body and breathe in, then letting out an exhausted sigh.

“I'm sorry for dragging you here, I just can't stand my, the lights.” You quickly changed the words you were going to say, “The lights hurt my eyes.”

“Okay, weird.” He mumbles but you catch his every word, yet instead of feeling offended, you snickered.

“Thanks for fetching me napkins, even though I didn't ask for it.” You said, finally being able to look at him from head to toe. His hair was disheveled from all the running you did.

“I just felt guilty, you look so beautiful and I ruined your dress. I felt bad for ruining your look.” He confessed, handing you the napkins. “Do you want me to remove it for you?”

You didn't even process what he asked, the compliment he gave has your brain fried. All night, your boyfriend, ex, didn't even say that to you. Fuck, you're really bad at picking guys.

“You good?” He asks, stepping a little closer. All you did was nod before finally answering his question.

The stain was behind you, you weren't sure if you'd even be able to reach it since it was near your lower back, “Yes, please. I'm sorry for putting you through this.”

He took a step closer and waited for you to turn around. Putting your hair to the side and hanging it from your shoulders to avoid it being tangled, which exposes your neck and your shoulder blades that were sprinkled with little moles since your gown had a low cut on the back.

“Uhm, then, uh, stay still.” You nodded and waited for him. The dampness of the napkin seeped through the gown and he started to wipe it down, slowly the stain came off of your dress. “There, all done.”

“Really?” You looked back, and the stain was really gone. “Thank you, so much!”

He shrugs, “It's the least I can do.” You were about to tell him something when your phone began to ring.

BOYFRIEND is calling...

Right, you haven't changed his nickname on your phone, well, it's understandable since you two just broke up on your prom night! You immediately slide down the red button that's been blinking, then turning off your phone.

“I'm gonna stay here for a little longer. You should enjoy the party. But, I'm really thankful for turning my night around.” You smiled sweetly even though there was bitterness hidden behind it. When he didn't budge, you poked him on his side.

“I'll stay here too, the, uh, lights!” He says as if it was the first thing his mind mustered up to use as an excuse. “It hurts my eyes, as well.” He says before smiling as if to mock your blatant lie as an excuse.

“Oh, shut up.” You rolled your eyes and yet you laughed at his words. Then, upon realizing how quickly the night becomes so peaceful when he's in your presence, he makes you safer than you ever did when you were with your friends, with a reminder that he is a literal stranger!

You shifted your weight from your feet when you felt his stare, then he looked down at your gown. “Wanna take off those heels? It looks like a pain.”

“You know what? Fuck it, I'm tired as fuck, so why the fuck not.” You quickly remove your heels and thankfully, the floor was dry.

“Here.” He took off his coat and set it down on the floor. “Sit here if you like.”

You smiled in return, sitting at his coat placed on the floor. Looking at the starless night, but the crescent moon is the only source of light the two of you had. Grabbing your purse beside you, you took out a silver, rectangular case, it's so thin that you'd think it's almost a locket if not for its height.

“What are you doing?” He asked, you can hear the curiosity in his voice, as well as the way his eyes focused on the case.

“Just my cigarette case. Want to get high? Although, there's only one left, we can share.” You offered, and you can tell he hasn't done this before nor had any plans to do so.

“Uh, sure. Just one.” His voice was filled with uncertainty, Jesus, he doesn't even know why he stayed here or why he went along with you to the rooftop. He could've stopped it, but he didn't.

Complying with his request, you opened the case and took the last remaining blunt. As you lit up the cigarette, you saw how the flame flickered in his eyes and how his gaze pierced through you which made you quickly break eye contact.

“Just breathe in, but not too deep since it might be your first time. It'll fill your lungs and you'll be a coughing mess.” You bring the lit up cigarette to his lips waiting for him to take it.

“I, I don't know. What if I, I don't know, you do it first. I'm a visual learner.” You can't help but laugh at the adorable expressions he made. Gosh, such a cutie pie.

“Okay, okay.” You hold the cigarette between your pointer and middle finger, bringing it to your lips, then breathing in the smoke from the cigar. Letting the smoke fill your lungs and the haziness in your mind. Before blowing the smoke out from your mouth away from his direction.

“Did that felt good?” He asks, like a curious puppy afraid of the new experience yet cannot hide the excitement of trying it.

“From my first time, nope. But once I got used to it, I found myself looking for it from time to time.” You flicked the ash that was built up from the cigar, “Do you still wanna try?”

He nodded before he spoke, “But I don't want to breathe in too much.”

You thought for a second before coming to a conclusion, “We can shotgun, if you want. I'll be the one to take in the smoke and control how much of it I'll intake, then when I breathe it out, you take it.”

“Huh?” Confusion was written all over his face, and it's not an exaggeration with how his brows seem to be furrowed together.

“Just watch, I'll signal you to come closer.” Again, you breathed in the smoke from the cigar but this time, you cut it short. Your put your cigar to the side as the smoke swirled in your lungs, relishing the feeling of it as you moved closer to him. Almost skin to skin.

You can sense him tense up, putting your hands to the sides of his cheeks, closing your eyes, then breathing out the smoke slowly. “Breathe in the smoke.” You opened your eyes while he quickly did what you asked, you saw the smoke that was coming out of your mouth to transfer to his.

“Now, exhale.” Again, he did what you said. As he opens his eyes, looking at yours once again.

“Damn, that was.”

“Fucking good.” You finished his sentence before pulling away from him, you can see that he wanted more skinship. He craves more for it, whether for the cigarette or to feel your touch once again.

“Let's finish this, then let's go out.” You said, and just like that, he asked for it again, he wanted your hands on him–to feel your touch again. He didn't want to smoke from the cigar itself, he wanted what you did earlier. So for the rest of the night, or until the cigarette burns out, it's what the two of you did. Conversing each other as the two of you get high out of your minds.

It was a wonder, really, how you ended up in his bed the next morning with your dress on the floor and how snugged the unfamiliar sweater you're wearing right now. Or the unfamiliar arms that are wrapped around you.

[writtenbychris]

Toyota Corolla

A/N: i don't know if any of this turns out weird, im tired of proofreading 😭✋️ also how do you make text gray, I'm sick of tumblr only giving me 7 generic ass text colors

warnings: none if you're okay with weirdos in a car

Chris x reader

(Name) had a habit of holding Chris’ hand when she was scared. Sure, she did it with everyone she was comfortable with, but since Chris was her boyfriend, he was mostly on the receiving end of it.

Today was supposed to be a chill car video day. Matt had parked at a convenience store where they got snacks after buying McDonald's. (Name) was excited, she rarely ever got to be in a video with her boyfriend, especially not in the car videos. She was sat in Chris’ lap (his idea, not hers) in the front seat, right in front of the camera.

“Do we even know what we’re gonna talk about?” Chris asked, ketchup all over his fingers from his burger.

“We can talk about the fact that you eat like a fuckin’ two-year-old.” Nick retorted.

“We can talk about the fact that you’re a fuckin’ bitch,” Chris shot back as a gray Toyota Corolla that nobody noticed rolled past them in the back window.

“We can talk about the fact that your forehead is so greasy that you could probably cook that burger you’re eating on it!”

“We can talk about the fact that you always make fun of the way I look even though we’re triplets and we all look the exact same! We can talk about the fact that I can actually pull and you can’t, we can talk about the fact that you’re always so fuckin’ loud that I can hear you from 5 states away, We can talk about–”

“So how was your day, Matthew?” (Name) asked in an attempt to tune out Chris and Nick, stifling a laugh as she ate more of the chicken nuggets she was sharing with Chris.

Matt simply just shook his head and continued to stare ahead, his small smirk and slightly trembling lips indicating that he knew if he opened his mouth the only thing that would come out is a big ol’ laugh. The sight of him fighting for his life made it that much harder for her to do the same.

(Name) absentmindedly looked into the camera’s viewfinder, only to see a gray Toyota Corolla roll past again.

“Another gray Toyota? Must be popular in this part of LA,” she noted in thought before quickly forgetting about it.

By now, Nick and Chris were done with their argument, it was Matt’s turn to speak, and the topic had changed to something else. (Name) just kept on eating, not necessarily adding much to the conversation.

“Well I feel like if I were to do that people would say it’s weird or *air quotes* ‘out of character’ *end air quotes* but everyone just expects Chris to be a protective boyfriend I guess?”

“Oh fuck yeah, don’t touch my girlfriend.” Chris said nonchalantly, taking a long sip of his Pepsi.

“Oh wow, how tough are you? Watch out everybody, we got fuckin’ Mike Tyson the second on our hands,” Matt mocked.

"Oh you think I'm tryin' to act tough? Come fuck with my girlfriend and find out."

Before Matt could even respond, the gray Toyota rolled past again. And (Name) was sure it was the same one. She immediately grabbed and squeezed Chris’ hand, and he clocked her fear just as fast.

“What’s wrong, (Nickname)?” he announced, rather than asked, all the attention in the van now on her.

“That gray car drove past us like three times..”

“Are you sure it’s not a diff–”

“No, it’s the same one!”

Matt tried dismissing her concerns, “Maybe they’re just lost, don’t overrea–”

“Matt I love you, but do not piss me off. Nothing grinds my gears more than when I’m scared, worried, or concerned and somebody tries to tell me that I’m overreacting.”

As she was finishing up her rant, the car came back, but instead of lazily rolling away like it did the past three times, it came to a full stop right behind the van for a split second before speeding off.

Matt turns back to (Name), his expression now mirroring her fearful one.

“You were right, that was so fucking weird..”

Nick was still staring out the back window and was the first one to see the gray Toyota coming back into the parking lot and as soon as he did, he immediately flipped off all the interior lights.

“Is it coming back?” Chris asked.

“Yes dummy, that’s why I turned off the lights.”

“Guys, not right now, please.” (Name) said, stopping them before they could start.

The car stopped right behind the van again and for a longer period, 10 seconds, and then parked right next to the van, triggering the fight, flight, or freeze response from everyone.

Nick immediately pulled (Name) off Chris’ lap and into the middle row with him. In the process, he knocked multiple things over, including the camera, prompting Matt, Chris, and (Name) to yell his name in irritation.

“Yeah fuck no, that’s it for tonight, I love you all so much, thank you for watching– Matt kiss the camera, (Name) get back in your seat–”

“Why did you do that?!” (Name) yelled, still on the floor.

Matt started the car, kissed the camera, ended the video, and peeled out of the parking lot before anyone was even buckled in and before (Name) was even seated.

“Matt what the fuck are you doing I’m still on the floor!”

“Well then you’re either stayin’ there or gettin’ up cuz I’m not slowin’ down!”

“Hey, stop!” Chris exclaimed. “And besides, you’re goin’ like 42,000 in a 55 so you’re gonna slow the fuck down unless you wanna get pulled over or get us all wrapped around a fuckin’ tree.”

Matt slowed down without saying a word, clearly annoyed.

“Yeah, that’s what I fuckin’ thought.”

“Shut up, Chris.”

Chris ignored his Mattitude (heehee) and turned around to make sure his girlfriend was seated and buckled in and as soon as she was, he took her hand and turned back to the road ahead, kissing it ever so often.

“(Name), I pulled you up because I didn't think it was safe for you to get out of the car with that weirdo creeping around,” Nick finally answered the question that she forgot she even asked.

“Oh, thank you Nick..”

There was a long period of silence as everybody mentally processed whatever had just happened. How did things turn sour so quickly?

“Do you guys think we should stop doing car videos for now?” Matt asked after a while.

“Stop??? Bro, they’re our best videos our fans are gonna–”

“Chris, our well-being is more important than whatever the fuck our fans are gonna think. And if they really care about us then they'd rather see us be safe and comfortable.” Nick said, knowing he was absolutely correct.

“Yo you're right,” Chris smacked Nick's hand because the latter didn't open up his hand for a dap up. “Yes Matt, I think we should take a break.”

“Guys, make sure they're not following us,” (Name) said, all of them now scanning the rearview mirror to see if the van was being followed.

“There is a gray car, but it's an SUV so I think we're good,” she reassured.

The tension eased slightly as they spotted the SUV in the mirror, but no one fully relaxed. The memory of the Corolla’s strange behavior stayed with them.

“I never thought I'd be so happy to see a fucking SUV,” Nick said, causing everyone to laugh.

Chris turned around to look at (Name).

“You and I are having a self-care night.”

(Name) smiled softly. “What’s the plan?” she asked, the edge in her voice starting to dissipate.

“Anything you want. Face masks, movies, snacks, video games, literally anything”

Nick piped up immediately, “Can I join?”

Chris chuckled and took his girlfriend's hand once more.

“Ask your boyfriend.”

Taglist:

@ariestrxsh

@chaeryeos gets the credit for these dividers.

[sealofarchives]

Oneshot scenario: Pocky Game

Prompt: The scenario of a pocky game at the lair. (separate)

This was one of my prompts from wattpad while struggling with writer's block. And its a drastic change from the early drafts.

Warnings: None. Just mostly towards light teasing fluff

Cookies & Cream

You placed your pencil down, somewhat satisfied with the current progress of your assignment from class. Well, mostly due to a certain softshell turtle's help as you sat in one of the rolling chairs inside the lab.

Donnie made a slight exception to the usual rule of 'no food or drinks' just only for today. Since you brought over a pocky box to share with him. With your additional reason of a snack for in between breaks. You briefly glanced over his shoulder as he lightly bit into the treat. Still checking on the turtle tank's cameras from his laptop. Making sure there's no technical issues that could jeopardize everyone's safety.

It only took him a few seconds to notice one of the monitor screens' reflection. Catching a glimpse of you staring at him.

"Is there something on my face-"

You pulled your seat, grabbing the pocky box and held it out towards him as you spoke.

"N-no, just wondering if you wanted another one?!"

You immediately froze.

.

..

...

Seeing how there was only one piece left in the box.

Your heart fluttered as Donnie slowly smirked.

"I'm willing to assist you on future assignments for the next few months. That is, if you win at a pocky game."

Donnie taking the sweet treat out of the box. As his mouth held on to one side of the pocky stick. He patiently waited while you internally let out a defeated sigh. Your mouth now on the other side of the biscuit treat.

He silently observed you taking small bites barely inching towards him. Along with the blush beginning to deepen on your face as you tried to focus on something behind him.

Your shoulders tensed up, startled at him moving close to your face.

.

..

...

The pocky stick softly snapped as his lips lightly pressed onto yours. Donnie pulled away chewing his half of the treat as he spoke.

"You sure you didn't lose on purpose." He couldn't help saying that in a teasing tone perching his elbow on the chair's armrest.

You shrank in your seat with a gulp of what remains of the dessert. The blush on your face quickly turning to embarrassment while you gently tugged the hem of your jacket.

"Well, I wasn't expecting that you were going to tease me over the last pocky stick."

"Or are you just gonna ignore that kiss as if nothing ever happened..."

The realization dawned on Donnie as he recognized them looking away with a glare holding back tears in their eyes.

"(Y/N)... I had no ill intention regarding the pocky game. I was just curious how you would react to me. Initiating said game in a manner that would help contribute to my inner bad boy image."

"But seeing how it did the opposite, with the results of hurting your feelings. Close to the point of tears, I am genuinely sorry..."

Donnie heard them breathe out through their nose. Now finally looking at him in the eyes.

"You're actually serious about the kiss..."

Blush began to appear his face as the image of his lips pulling away and briefly brushing against their soft face haunted him.

"Yes, its more of the fact that you take the time to listen to my sometimes inane rambling. And if I accidentally push you away because of my stubborn habits, I would deeply regret it..."

He caught sight of your eyes soften at his words. As a half smile from you eased his beating heart.

"I'll sort of take that apology. You never really mentioned what you get for winning the pocky game."

Donnie grumbled as you readjusted a few papers then clipping it to a stapler.

"You'll be on lab assistant duty whenever you visit the lair for the following next month. I'll be nice enough to only proofread a few of your papers in the first week. And only that first week.

"That's fair."

You softly kissing his face almost made him do a double take as you went out to refill your cup. Lightly touching it until you got back.

Strawberry

"Come on (Y/N), there's an extra five bucks with your name on it. If you play the pocky game with me." Leo waved the five one dollar bills in front of your face as you went back to scroll on your phone.

"I don't accept bribes from someone who's gonna be a sore loser about winning." Leo immediately scoffed at your statement as he put away the cash back in his fanny pack.

"I'm past the whole 'winning at any cost' phase. And I'll prove it to you with a pinky swear. As a solemn promise of no cheating."

You were almost surprised at him as he sat across from you. Doing said gesture as his other hand held the pink pocky box.

"Fine, but only one game. No redos or last minute changes."

"Deal!"

After a few seconds, the game began as both of you concentrated on the pocky stick.

However, Leo spotted three turtles with mischievous grins from a safe distance behind you. A tiny bit of sweat trailed down his light blue bandana while trying to keep his laid back demeanor around you.

Part of you slightly kept your guard up but still raised an eyebrow at Leo's sudden contorted smile. He replied through shrugging both of his shoulders. But lost his balance after hearing the sound of a phone camera going off. You instantly caught Leo by grasping his forearms before his shell could hit the floor.

.

..

...

At the cost of an accidental kiss on the lips and both of your faces close together.

Donnie, Raph, and Mikey rushed out of the room just as you pulled away. But, still sat beside the red slider turtle who facepalmed muttering about getting back at his brothers under his breath.

"Do you want to count that as a draw? Or do you want to get back at your brothers for ruining the game?"

Leo shifted his focus on to you as he rubbed the back of his neck.

"You're not gonna question how you accidentally kissed me?" As you shrugged back at him.

"I would have ask if you were okay but knowing you, you would obviously deny it. Still you kept to your promise of no cheating so, I am a bit happy about that."

A tiny bit of blush from your face instantly made Leo smile as he sidehugged you.

"So if any chance we do the pocky game at your place, you'll let me win, right?"

"Don't push your luck."

You lightly tapped his beak taking away the pocky box and munched on a few sticks as your victory prize. He wouldn't admit it but slowly liked it when you tease him.

Chocolate

"Donnie already triple checked that the pocky sticks were safe for you to eat. Even before starting the mini competition of who would eat the most under an hour. Why are you so worried about doing the pocky game with me?"

"Its not that, its just... Raph doesn't want to accidentally bite (Y/N)'s mouth off."

"Raph, you're always careful around me. Almost to the same level of you taking care of your teddy bear plushies." You mentioned 'no offense' as Raph crossed his arms with a defensive reply of 'none taken'.

Donnie pulled a holographic video from his tech wrist.

Surveillance footage of Raph sneaking a box out of the four tin containers.

"There were only thirty five boxes instead of thirty six. I had to replay said footage after seeing this video a few minutes before the competition started."

"And since I won the competition fair and square, you can avoid chore duty only if you play the pocky game with them. Also neither Mikey, Leo, or I will utter a teasing remark until one of you wins."

Before Leo say could say anything, the turtle insignia on his belt instantly activated a sci fi helmet that silenced his words. As he now tried to get the helmet off of his head.

Raph sighed ignoring the startled reactions from both you and Mikey.

A few minutes into the pocky game, the alligator snapping turtle's thoughts were all over the place. The worry of his snaggletooth cutting your lip. Along with Mind Raph at a loss for words just watching the scene play out in a panicked expression.

Despite that, blush began to surface near his red bandana. Now that he got a closer look at your face.

He often hesitated trying to find the right words to compliment your face. Which usually ends with an excuse to avoid an awkward atmosphere. But, your eyes sometimes leaving him speechless.

A sort of comforting presence. Especially not being afraid of a big guy like him.

However, fear took over as he broke the pocky stick before you were a couple inches away from winning.

"I guess Raph lost this one-"

The audible gasps from the two brothers was their response to you kissing Raph. While Leo merely rolled his eyes holding the helmet under his arm.

"You still have a bit of melted chocolate by your lips."

You were carefully holding his face with one of your fingers removing the leftover chocolate. And pulled Raph in to give him another kiss.

Banana

"I didn't know there was banana flavored pocky." Mikey said taking the yellowed colored box from the tin container.

"I mostly see chocolate or strawberry whenever I go grocery shopping. Its probably the fan favorites since there's a day dedicated to it."

"It wouldn't hurt to try a new flavor. After all in some parts of the world, its someone's favorite flavor!"

Mikey was about to bite into the pocky stick but stopped, thinking about something.

"Have you ever tried playing a pocky game?"

"I don't think so but, I'm not a fan of being teased into doing it."

"Most of the anime has a real bad habit of making the pocky game being too close to peer pressure. Like almost trying to make some drama out of it..."

"I remember April skipping part of an anime that did that. She immediately went back to studying because it was that embarrassing to sit through." You heard Mikey replying with a yikes as the conversation came to a halt.

But, you heard a faint whisper from him saying.

("I still think it would be cute just playing the game with you...")

"Cute?" Mikey almost hid half of his head into his shell now with widen eyes.

"H-hey, I would be a terrible friend if I lied about you not being cute! The guilt would absolutely crush me!" You chuckled taking the pocky stick out of his hand.

"Well, since you're always honest about your feelings. I'm willing to try the game with you."

Mikey instantly blushed at the sight of you winking with the pocky stick in your mouth.

It only took a few seconds for the biscuit treat to disappear. As you sent a quick smooch to the box shell turtle before pulling away to chew your end of the pocky stick.

"I wouldn't eat this flavor all the time. But, at least Mikey is sweet." You placed one side of your head by his shoulder as he slowly melted by your touch with a happy sigh.

[password-door-lock]

“Don't you ever get tired, boss?” You ask, peering over Unknown's shoulder at his screen.

He turns around to scowl at you. Yes, of course he gets fucking tired. That's by no means something he's proud of, and it's by no means something he wants to hear you prattling on about. Unknown has discovered that he likes having you around— it's nice to have someone to talk to, and even better that you're usually able to entertain him, at least to some degree— but he could do without the constant questions. You always want to know what he's working on (which is classified), what you can do to help (nothing whatsoever, unless you're sitting on a bunch of useful skills that have somehow managed to escape Unknown’s notice thus far), and, worst of all, how he's feeling (which is none of your goddamn business, actually). Unknown has no interest in anything even remotely resembling a conversation about emotions with you, let alone one about his physical state. 

“Hm,” he says eventually, not caring how you interpret the sound. It's none of his business how you interpret things, at least as long as you're keeping those interpretations to yourself and staying out of trouble.

“Then you should sleep,” you suggest, “I'm sure that it'll help you work better.”

“Oh, is that so?” Unknown hums, still not looking up from his screen— truth be told, he's barely listening to you. He couldn't care less what you think about his methods, though that certainly doesn't stop you from peppering him with moral qualms and concerns about his health under these working conditions— as if Unknown has any control over that, anyway. Why do you want to make him feel so powerless? Can't you just stay securely under his thumb and let him go about his business? 

“Yeah,” you reply, “It is. If you're tired, you should sleep. That’s kind of, like, basic knowledge 101, you know?”

“I can't sleep, prince(ss),” Unknown grits out. He’s annoyed that this is even a discussion. 

“Oh, you mean you can’t fall asleep?” You ask, probably trying to be helpful. Normally, Unknown wouldn't give a shit about anybody's intentions but his own or his Savior's... however, lately, he's begun to pick up on the fact that people can mean very well while somehow managing to remain insufferably annoying. He wouldn't have thought that this combination was possible until he met you— you should be proud of yourself, Unknown supposes, though not too proud— that would be a bit much. “Then that might be because of all the monitors. Maybe you’d be able to rest better if you turned a couple of them off.” 

“No,” he growls before you can give him another useless suggestion. Just because Unknown understands your motivations doesn't mean he's going to entertain any more nonsense from you. After all, he's your boss, not your friend— and honestly, boss isn't the term he originally would have selected, but it would be too much of a hassle to change anything now that you seem married to the idea. “I can't sleep unless that redhead sleeps, get it? He’ll attack and undo all my progress while I’m wasting time in dreamland.” And if that redhead is sleeping, then Unknown isn't going to sleep, either, because it'll give him an opportunity to get a leg up. If he rests only when his exhaustible body forces him to do so, then eventually, he’ll arrive at his revenge. 

“Well, if you're not sleeping, I'm not sleeping,” you declare, “And if you think I'm annoying now, you're just gonna love me when I'm sleep deprived.”

Unknown rolls his eyes at your sheer audacity. “Aw, do you think you're being clever?” He coos. “You can't control me that easily, assistant.” Lately, Unknown has gotten into the habit of calling you by your title as if it were a pet name of some kind. He likes the reaction that it gets from you, though he doesn’t understand it— if you’re so proud to be his assistant, then why do you constantly question him? Can’t you just leave well enough alone? 

“I’m just showing you how ridiculous and stubborn you’re being, boss. What are you gonna do about it?” You ask.

You’re challenging him, trusting that he’ll humor you as you test him in a vain attempt to prove a really useless point. Unknown isn’t sure why you couldn’t have applied this determination to chatting with the RFA, or at least going into that apartment. Maybe you would have been happier there, with people who would accept and embrace your affection and concern. But there’s no point in thinking about that now— you’re stuck with Unknown, and for all intents and purposes, he is equally stuck with you. 

Unknown just rolls his eyes at you again. Honestly, maybe he is starting to get tired, if you've managed to get under his skin so easily— but it doesn't matter whether he's tired or not. Unknown will get his work done regardless of his physical condition, and you should get that through your head as soon as possible. “You're gonna go lay down on the couch and shut your mouth,” he intones, “Or else I'll send you to your room, and you can stay there alone. How does that sound, cutie?”

Even if you insist on staying awake to prove some useless point to him, eventually, you’ll drift off if you’re laying there not doing anything. That way, Unknown won’t have to worry about you while he’s working— of course, he isn’t at all concerned with your well being, he reminds himself. He just doesn’t want to have to waste time thinking about what kind of trouble you might be causing behind the scenes. 

“Wow, so cruel,” you pretend to lament with a pouting expression as you throw yourself onto the couch. You’re just joking, of course— you don’t actually think that about him. If you did, you wouldn't be able to say it so flippantly. You’re convinced that he’s a good person somewhere deep down, but Unknown might very well be cruel— no, scratch that. He knows for a fact that he's a bad guy to his core, a monster in every sense of the word. Unknown is by no means a nice person, but he knows how to get what he wants. That’s got to count for something, right? “But just promise me you’ll rest eventually, okay?” Your concern is evident in your voice, even if you try to hide it behind that playful tone. 

“Mhm. Maybe I’ll be able to rest when my assistant isn’t causing me so many problems,” he hums. It’s best to just humor you, to keep you from wasting time worrying when you could be helping Unknown with his revenge. Besides, he’s not even really lying— he’ll have to sleep eventually. No matter how many times he pushes his body to its limits, it never seems to get any stronger or better at staying awake when he needs it to.  “But if you want to stay with me, then you should start being quiet now.”

You don't respond, and for his part, Unknown counts it as a win.

[blue-moonjelly]

Quiet Fears

Demon Brothers x NB reader

{angst and later comfort, mental health insecurities, discussion of anxiety and depression, reassuring and comforting}

*note: I’m admittedly not used to writing this type of thing, but lately I’ve been finding myself in the similar position regarding mental health and I just thought it was something many others could relate to, it’s a little choppy but I hope someone can find a little bit of comfort in it*

For weeks now, everyone in the house of lamentation could sense something in the air when it came to you.

First noticing the small changes, the way your smiles made fewer appearances, the manner in which you chose to spend time alone more often, and the odd habit of spacing out during conversations that once elicited thousands of words from you.

Though everyone was quick to take notice of these changes, it had been mutually decided among them that no one would speak of it unless it came from you, and that each of them would give you your space and be patient in their concerns.

Even if it did kill them.

"Hey has anyone seen MC" Mammon asked as he made his way through the kitchen, catching the attention of the twins who had been in the midst of taking out a freshly baked cake from the oven, "I wanna show them this new plushie I bought today, thinking it might be their thing, y'know"?

"No, we haven't" Belphie answered first.

"We've been baking their favorite" Beel continued "A devil's dark chocolate cake, and I haven't had a single bite yet"

"MC" Levi called out while also stumbling into the kitchen with Satan right at his side, "Oh, we were looking for MC, I wanna show them the new game we've been waiting months for to release, it has music with Ruri-chan's backing vocals" he practically squealed.

"And I wanted to show them this new blanket I got for us to share when we do our daily readings by the fireplace" Satan explained as he hold up the softest blanket any of them had ever seen, he blushed while explaining himself, "none of our blankets keep them warm enough".

"MC, oh my darling MC" Asmodeus hummed as he skipped past the kitchen, only stopping when he caught a glance at the formed group from the corner of his eye, "oh you're all here, I was looking for MC so I could show them this new set of press on nails I made them, I wanted to make the perfect ones just for my little darling"

"Yeah well get in line Asmo, 'cause I'm gonna be the first one who gets to give MC a present" Mammon spoke up first as he broke from the group and began to run straight to MC's room, yelling over his brothers who protested as they quickly followed from behind.

"Nothing is wrong" your voice suddenly boomed out from the common room, quickly stopping the brothers in their tracks as they turned to see you lash out at Lucifer in front of the fireplace.

The brothers all stood within the entrance, crowding next to one another as they looked between their eldest brother and MC, both of them staring down the other with a glare.

"that's not very convincing" Lucifer responded, his voice and body language both seemingly calm, but anyone could tell the blood inside of him was boiling.

Lucifer, the one who was usually the most logical of the bunch was now going against the unsaid rules they all had written, his emotions leading him into a heated search for MC.

"What do you want me to say Lucifer" you continued to yell, "seriously, since you seem to know my emotions better than I do, tell me, what is it exactly that you're waiting for me to admit. Do you want me to bother everyone with my problems? You want me to be a burden in saying that I'm sad without even having a valid reason? That I'm sad when everything in my life seems to be going so well, that I'm anxious it will all break away just as quickly as it came, that I'm scared all of you will one day wake up and realize I'm just a mere human who can't even handle their own shit? is that what you want me to say Lucifer?"

You finally managed to notice the rest of the brothers crowding the entrance of the common room, each of them staring back at you.

"MC" Lucifer's voice trailed off as he called your name in a delicate whisper.

“This is just the way my brain works Lucifer, it’s sad it’s scary and it’s shitty. The truth is that there's never just one thing that's really wrong, I wish there was and I could just give you all a simple explanation" you began to speak in a less heated tone. You had been dreading ever having this conversation, you were scared of ever having to explain yourself and deep inside you hoped that it never would have to be addressed. You were happy, the happiest you could ever remember being, surely your mind could just accept that.

"I've just always been like this for as long as I can remember, my fears and emotions are heightened so much more than other humans. I take medication to help and do things to keep me busy and for the most part it helps, but there are other times when nothing or no one can, and I'm simply just in a dark pit that I need to rest in for a moment" you then took a careful breath as you tried to remain some composure, "I just never wanted you all to see this part of me, the person who can't even save themself from their own mind”.

It was silent, you didn’t dare try to make eye contact with anyone, fear that you scared them off was enough to nibble you into a cowering submission, fiddling with your fingers as you stared off into the fire place that flickered before you.

Suddenly, you were being scooped into Lucifer’s familiar grip and carried off of your feet before being placed on the couch. A large soft blanket being draped around you and Satan who sat to your left, Mammon tucking himself to your right side as he patted a plushie you both cuddled between, Levi scooting himself to one knee as he brought out his console to show you the game you both had been waiting months for, Asmo grabbing your left hand and leaning close to your other knee as he prepped your nails for a press on set, the twins joyfully talking between themselves at the front of your legs while they both began to cut pieces from a cake they had.

“There is nothing you have to explain” Lucifer said from above your head as he brushed his fingers between the strands of your hair, “you just have to know and remember that we love you MC, all of you” he ended with a kiss to the top of your head.

None of them were questioning you, no awkward glances or tip toeing over you in silence, they simply accepted what you had to say and treated you as you always wished others would. They comforted you in the best way they knew how, by being present and loving you as their selves.

You couldn’t help it, the tears rushed down your cheeks as you felt an inexplicable rush of warmth and love from the demons you knew adored you. A relief like nothing you had ever felt before, washed over you as everyone continued to unconditionally accept and love you.

You didn’t try to hide these tears though, in fact you were thankful for them, for there were no better words you could use to describe the amount of adoration you had for these boys.

[miuszn]

Hi! I love ur writing sm and was wondering if you could do some,thing with Ellie where reader is maybe a little chubby (cause I relate😭) and gets a little insecure about herself or her body? Just Ellie comforting her but ofc if you don’t want to that’s fine!

hiii anon <3 first of all tysm im so happy to hear u like my writing 🥹🩷 n of course i can do that lovely !! just a heads up tho , since i don’t know what it’s like to be chubby this is just going to be a short drabble i hope u don’t mind 😭🩷 i’m just not rlly good at writing about stuff i haven’t experienced or struggled with ( i do have an idea of what it’s like to struggle w insecurities but due to diff reasons ) and i’m scared i’ll portray it inaccurately so i hope u get that hehe <33 that said , pls enjoy !!

— 𓆩♥︎𓆪 —

ellie and you loved taking walks together. that was sort of your thing. walking through the overgrown fields, enjoying the fresh air and the warm sunshine. that day, however, you weren’t exactly feeling the best. you struggled a lot with your self-esteem due to the fact you didn’t exactly fit society’s standard of skinny, but most importantly, you were thinking about how a lot of the girls ellie had been with before didn’t look a lot like you. thin, fit, whatever way you wanna describe it. it had been in the back of your mind for a few weeks, but it was a thought you could mostly overlook. but you couldn’t ignore it any longer once you went out with some friends to grab lunch and one of them made the god forsaken “should you really be eating all that?” comment despite your meal being a completely normal size. the insecurities you r thought were now behind you were all coming back at once.

ellie noticed the change in your demeanor and looked at you with concern. "hey, what's going on? you seem a little down."

“it’s nothing,” you shrugged, not wanting to burden ellie with your troubles. but she could always read you like a book.

"hey,” she stopped and held your hand, looking into your eyes. “i know there’s something that’s troubling you. what’s wrong?”

you looked down, feeling embarrassed. "well.. i know i'm not exactly.. thin. it’s just i know all the girls you dated before were all so fit and skinny and i’m not and it’s just-“

“hey, look at me,” ellie cut you off. “you don’t need to compare yourself to them. you’re beautiful and i love you regardless of whether you fit some stupid standard or not. besides, it didn’t work out despite all that. i’m with you because i love you no matter what you look like, okay?”

although her words did make you feel a little bit better, at least with that specific issue, you were still feeling mostly down from the comment your friend made and the fact no one else stood up for you then. still, you tried not to show it, but as always, ellie could always tell.

“i know there’s something else on your mind, babe. spit it out.”

you sighed and explained to her what had happened the day prior and how none of your other friends said anything about it, some even laughed but tried to hold it in to not hurt your feelings.

“let’s sit down for a bit,” she said, and you could see her eyes full of anger. “listen to me, i love you just the way you are. i wouldn’t change anything about you. who do those fuckers even think they are anyway? as soon as i find them i’m gonna beat the shit out of all of the-“

“ellie, stop,” you cut her off. “you don’t have to do that. i won’t hang out with them anymore and i don’t want to cause any issues.”

“they caused the issue the second they thought they had the right to comment on what you were eating.”

“i know that but- please. it’s not worth it.”

she sighed in disappointment, but understood. although you were sometimes grateful for her habit of beating up anyone who crosses you, often times it could just cause even more issues and you didn’t want to drag her into anything else.

she wrapped her arms around you and held you close. “you know you can always talk to me about anything. and you don’t have to think about what anyone has to say. i love you no matter what. never forget that, okay?”

you nodded, and that’s when it hit you. she truly loves you unconditionally. a few tears welled up in your eyes but you hid it out of embarrassment. you so felt safe and happy in her arms, especially now that you know for sure you don’t have to worry about her leaving you for the way you look, and that she won’t hold you up to any standards. you weren’t exactly sure what you’d do with your friends when you got back, but all that mattered to you in that moment was that you had her, no matter what.

[thegravityblog]

Fading Frequencies

I named my first album this, and there's reason behind it, obviously. The whole concept of the album is how I endured such a painful heartbreak and got over it. The day I will be completely over it, I will know I won one of the biggest fights of my life. Some people really walk into your life to teach you things about yourself, you were not aware of, qualities that you possess. I am so tough, that I would just suddenly stop feeling anything but sheer hate for this person is surprising because of the way I loved them, but this didn't develop. Their actions compounded for months and blasted today. I will be really fortunate to win this battle because I honestly invested myself into it, I worshipped them and surrendered myself, and now I feel such a fool for doing it. They didn't even deserve so much that I wasted on them, I was never respected, never appreciated or loved. Everything that happened was fake and just an act put by them. No one who loves you honestly can go ahead and sleep with other people immediately, and do things that broke the relationship in the first place - so what did they learn from it? Nothing. They didn't care to stop or to understand anything for them their own loser behavior was important and later on come out and pretend so much of healing and self-care while being a fucking pornstar. Really impressive progress made.

I can finally feel the frequencies fading, and all of their stupid actions that they are so desperately attempting to mentally break down doesn't even affect me at all. I laugh and ignore it all the time, they didn't realize I'm made up of experiences that have shaped me ina way that none of their crap can break me down. All her moans and crap are doing nothing more than progressing my hatred towards her. I swear, I hate her already so much and I don't know how boldly this is gonna progress. I did everything I could, and I feel I should have cut this off even before the first trip, or I should have not picked up her call on the second trip and ended it forever. She showed me time and again that she is not worthy of the love, care, and admiration I so freely gave her, while she couldn't offer the bare minimum or even tried to reconcile. I embarrassed myself in the process of putting in efforts that were supposed to come from their end. I even found out the number and texted them and the way they ignored me - more progress to my hate. "People who understand my silence love me", Heck no I don't understand your silence anymore because even if you're silent your actions tell otherwise." Not anymore. You do you, you showed me what you care about more. And I got my answer and I will forever hate you till I die. I swear I will because that's what you deserve from me at least. You have done everything to push me to this point otherwise I don't think so I would have ever stopped loving you. You made me feel how easy I was to just let go without any explanation. You showed me I am not worthy of taking a chance on - well for you. Someone who will see my worth will swim oceans for me. I will wait, but not loiter around everywhere like you. My soul, heart, body, and mind is intact and only focused on growth. I changed my habits for you and made a vow to myself that i will never lay a hand on you again, and heal all your trauma with my love, but well I have my answer now and its deeply engraved in my heart. I hope you see me everywhere and never be able to find because for you your nymphomania, pride, ego, selfishness and lack of self control mattered more than me. And that's what I needed to hate you forever because I did the exact opposite, to an extent where I wasn't even myself. You deserve all the pain, misery and tears. You have inflicted endless pain to me and I will stand firm and fly higher in my life, not affected from you at all. Goodbye and good riddance.

[love-love-evol]

songs i see redacted characters as 👍

read more cause this is a long post

Darlin:

Real men don't need other people / And real men suck it in / Real men don't flinch or bleed in public / Oh, I think I'm a real man

…

Though honestly sir, all I wanna do/ Is get naked in front of you / So you can look me up and down / And tell me, "Well done girl, you're looking good"

Real men keep cool in the face of a fire / Go down with the ship / And real men don't eat, 'cause they're above that, damn it / Oh, I'm gonna be a real man

Though honestly sir, all I wanna do / Is get naked in front of you / So you can look me up and down / And give me your love for being so good

…

(real men by mitski)

Sam:

…

And say I wear my sorrow like a crown / And throw your arms around my head, and see it there in gold and red and brown

As heavy as a history book can be / I will carry it with me, oh Lord / And maybe when the bitterness has gone / There'll be sweetness on our tongues once more

We'll soon forget our parents' names / Like dogs will drive the wolves away / And weep with fingertips opposed / Like a church where nobody congregates

But sweetness sings in the pasture / We throw ourselves on the mercy of the earth / If sand and salt have the answer / Then the act itself will be louder than the word

And I'll be on your side

…

(history book by dry the river)

Both Sam and Darlin:

…

And I haven't left the house in 100 years / And you haven't left yours in 100 hours / And we can't keep our hands out of our own mouths / See the horrible habits we acquire

…

And how my stomach burns, but only at night/ When the moon is bright / And I have dreams about bears / With the reddest mouths / But your arms are warm / And your legs are wrapped around / And the sound of your heart

The unsteady sound, I will slow it down

(nervous rex by laura stevenson)

Lovely:

Sun, we have not been friends / We have not spoke in months / Or even made amends

Time, you can have your way / And if you take my nights / Would you leave me my days /

If I, I can't see myself / As the lights go down / I won't see no one else

…

Sun, oh, you do me no good / None of my plans work out / The way I thought they would

If I, I can't be myself / And if the lights won't shine / I'll become someone else

…

So none of my dreams come true / So now I miss you

…

(neon lights by dancing years)

Vincent:

…

Mirror mirror on the wall / What's the meaning of it all?

Wasted all the time / Nothing lasts forever / Maybe I should give up the good fight / Change my image overnight

One thing that I know is that / You don't know a thing about me / I am the young, dumb, chosen one / Losing in the loveliest way / Kids these days

…

(kids these days by shakey graves)

Asset:

Wake me up / Remind me brother, / of who I am / I'm made up, / If I am in pieces we'd be together again

Let's go / To where you remember, hand in hand

I am nothing / I was a hitch / in your program / I was waitin', / watchin', / You held in your hands

…

(hand in hand by makeup and vanity set)

[infinityactual]

Ngl, being (apparently exactly) half your age is fun because making people about my mom's age feel Old is enrichment for me (love u, have a nice day)

Hey man I love feelin old.

It's funny, growing up undiagnosed autistic and adhd in an abusive, authoritarian household really messed up my perception of what growing up is like. I have since officially cut contact with my abusive family (they didn't even react aside from signing the registered mail receipt lolololol) but even before that, I often thought a lot about what its like being in my thirties.

(Brief mentions of assault and abuse below he cut, nothing detailed just mentions as examples for context. This got a little rambly, I've had a lot on my mind regarding age the last few years.)

And being that old? It's. Not different. The phrase 'the more things change, the more they stay the same' never really made sense to me as a kid, but it hits home nowadays. I'm still me, but between growing and learning as I age and the realization that I'm probably not who I was told I was, it makes sense. I change. But I stay the same. It's like adding extra paint to a canvas. It's still a canvas, but there's more to it now. It will always be a canvas, but it's a canvas that is also different than it was before. It's changed, but it's the same.

My mom is one of those people who (literally at times) beat into me that if you got assaulted or raped or murdered, it was somehow YOUR fault for being too stupid or dressing too provocative or some other bullshit reason, and that I was sooo trusting and sooo stupid that I would probably end up dead before I hit 25.

And being on the spectrum and adhd and...well, a fuckin CHILD, I believed it.

It took three therapists and a psychiatrist, plus pretty much everyone I talk to going "Uh hey [x] isn't normal, that's abuse and you probably have [y] issues" for it to really sink in that my mother was wrong. That happened in 2020, right at the start of lockdown. Almost 5 years later and I still get kicked in the head with past traumas. I'm still sorting everything out. It's gonna take a while.

But I'm 38. Over a decade past the age when I thought I'd be dead. And only this year after deciding not to let the trauma and bad memories surrounding my birthday did I really understand how fucked up it is to fully expect to be dead at a young age without any sort of preexisting issues going on (it's also not a good way to live if you DO have medical issues that could kill you, but that is not what I'm getting into today).

I still feel like I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop. And it's not a 'my death could happen any second' feeling, it's a more insidious 'what if my death comes from my spouse, whom I love and trust implicitly?' thing, with an added feeling of anxiety because on bad brain days I try to look for red flags where there are none.

And the real kicker: that sort of trust was already violated when I was a toddler, possibly younger, and kept being violated till I left home.

It's a lot to think about. Like several boxes of puzzles all dumped on the floor at once. I pick through the pieces, sometimes things click, but mostly it's just a mess.

But I am glad I lived. I'm glad that I am still here to prove that I'm not 'too stupid' to survive. I like being the server dinosaur on Discord. I like being there for younger folks who went through or still are in the shit. Cos I'm proof it gets better. I'm proof that abusers are liars and so are the mental problems abuse instills in a mind. They're liars that tell you horrible things. I argue back. I have gotten into the habit of responding to the thoughts in my mother's voice yelling at me by telling her she can fuck off.

She can fuck off and I'll still be here loving the same shit I did in school. In fact, things I loved have been coming back to me. I'm still me, but I've changed. The only thing adult about me is my age and that I have bills and taxes. I've cultivated patience. Learned that I was never wrong to give kindness and expect it in return. I've grown. And I love being old.

[secretlywritingstories]

Future's gonna be okay | BTS one shot

Summary: Yoongi never thought he’d get a tattoo, but then again, he never anticipated that BTS would mean this much to him and so many others. He wore the tattoo with pride, and he was finally ready to share it with ARMY.

Word count: 3.9k

Tags: 2023!BTS, getting his 7 tattoo, introspection, shoulder injury, Agust D Tour, AMYGDALA mv, he loves BTS so much, you guys

Warnings: Talk about Yoongi's shoulder injury and his surgery (not graphic), and the scars on his shoulder, thoughts of the impending enlistment.

A/N: This is how I'm dealing with the Agust D tour ending. Gotta get my feelings out somehow <3

Read on AO3 or below

Yoongi wasn’t entirely sure when it turned from a loose idea, almost like a joke, into a tangible thing that they wanted to do. The idea of a shared tattoo had been floated around among them before, but it had never quite taken hold until they announced hiatus on group activities.

The last few years had been strange. Ever since the pandemic had slowed everything to a grinding halt, it had felt like they were caught in some weird type of limbo. Releasing singles in English and a few scattered concert dates without a live audience. The concerts came back eventually, they made an album that was supposed to be bye for now, but then plans changed again.

The will-they-won’t-they about the exemption of military enlistment had been hanging over their heads for entirely too long. Yoongi was happy that they finally decided to just go along and do the enlistment on their own terms. Even if it hurt to say goodbye to Seokjin hyung and Hoseok, to rub their shaved heads and send them off for more than a year. Into a world none of them had any experience with.

They’d done well. Of course, they’d done well because they were BTS, and the BTS members were nothing if not stubborn and determined. Gritting their teeth through pain and struggle to chase the dream.

Yoongi knew he was like that too. Back when they’d been trainees who refused to leave the dorm and give up on the idea of debuting. How he’d hid his shoulder injury in fear that it would rip away the future that he’d worked so hard for. A split second, a crash, and pain exploding through his body. How it could take away so much more than his mobility if he couldn’t keep dancing and performing. He had to keep going.

“We’ll be with you in a moment,” the receptionist told Yoongi with a polite smile. Their arms were covered in beautiful tattoos, sleeves that reminded Yoongi of Jungkook’s arm.

He nodded and tried not to feel nervous. Maybe he should have taken up offer from the members to get the tattoos done together. Seokjin, Hoseok, Namjoon and Taehyung had never tried to get tattooed before either, but they had also easily agreed to the special tattoo. After all, this wasn’t really a tattoo as such. It was something much more. A mark to connect the seven of them forever.

Yoongi could never have anticipated how deeply he’d care for those six boys, most of whom he’d met for the first time only wearing underwear in the dorm. How far they had come since then.

He twisted his shoulder a little, an old habit that had never quite gone away. It was one good thing to come from the pandemic halting their activities for so long. It gave a space for Yoongi to finally acknowledge that he couldn’t keep the pain in check with the injections anymore. It had been getting a lot worse, he still remembered the burning anger at himself when he had to skip part of the Black Swan choreography because he couldn’t do the required movement.  

The surgery and the subsequent recovery had been painful. He’d been ready to curse out his physical therapy trainer more than once, but he’d always just clenched his teeth and obeyed. He’d do anything to get better, to get back into shape for performing. While the rest of his members performed at the end of year shows, he watched from home and did the work on his damn shoulder.

It was never going to be like before the injury. So many years of delaying surgery and relying on injections hadn’t benefitted him either. He knew that, but he wouldn’t have changed it. He would never want to change anything about their journey, as hard as it had been.

Not if it would risk them not getting here again.

“Min Yoongi-ssi?” the tattooist asked, coming out to greet him.

Yoongi rose from his seat and tried to keep his breathing steady. It was just a tattoo. Jungkook had a whole damn arm of them, and he’d even gotten some of them coloured in and shaded. This was a small number, just two lines. Easy to do.

Even if the meaning of that small number was massive.

He was the last one who needed to get it. He’d been dragging his feet for long enough.

Yoongi followed the tattoo artist into his work space, and he tried not to fidget too much. When they’d talked to HYBE about how they wanted to get a group tattoo, the company had provided them with a list of tattoo artists in Seoul, including the ones that had worked on Jimin and Jungkook before. They’d also provided a portfolio for each artist, even if they were just getting a small little thing done.

Yoongi had saved all of his members’ tattoos to show this artist. Most of them had been revealed on social media already, but he had asked everyone to take photos for him, up close and clear. The members had teased him that he was going to chicken out and not do it.

As if he would ever go back on a promise made to the members.  

“Want to show me a reference for what you want?” the tattoo artist asked with a warm smile. He must have seen Yoongi fiddle with his phone.

He nodded and showed the photos. He waited for some kind of comment about seeing the infamous BTS group tattoos. It was strange to think about how almost everyone in the country knew him and his members. If not by name or face, then they’d still have heard of them. It was the kind of fame that was suffocating at times, when he just wanted to be Min Yoongi.

But without it, he wouldn’t be producer and BTS member SUGA, and he didn’t want to give that rush up for anything.

“I’m going to draw up some options for you, okay? And if you don’t like any of them, we’ll try something else,” he said, not making any comment about the photos, and went to get his sketch book.

Yoongi nodded and listened to the sound of pencil on paper while he looked at collection of the tattoos on his screen. Even the members who’d never thought that they’d get a tattoo had jumped in willingly. The tattoos were small and discreet, quite easy to conceal. Jimin and Jungkook’s were the only ones that couldn’t easily be concealed by clothing but even so, they’d been placed somewhere they wouldn’t be obvious on a first glance.

Yoongi was handed a whole page of 7s all skilfully written. When he’d booked this appointment, the tattoo artist had asked if he wanted to see options beforehand to decide. Yoongi knew that Namjoon had done that, and it had delayed his process a whole lot while he was agonising over which lettering to get.

And then he’d been disappointed that it had been over in just a handful of minutes. The 7 forever etched into his skin.

Yoongi chose on a whim. He decided against having a slash over it like the maknae line had. He picked the one that seemed simple, straightforward and neat.

“This one,” he said, and wondered if it was a bad sign that he could pick one out so easily.

Or maybe it was a good sign. It was not really about the tattoo itself. It was about what it represented.

And even more where it would be placed.

“Good, I’ll just get that ready up for you. Where do you want it?”

Yoongi had been thinking about this a whole lot more than about the design of the number. He’d considered where he could put it. He didn’t want it obviously visible, but he would like to be able to see it with his own eyes.

And then it had hit him exactly where it should be placed. There was only really one option. It seemed a little too much like fate to ignore it.

“Left shoulder,” Yoongi said.

He had a lot of scars on his shoulder. From the original crash, but also newer ones from the surgery. His struggle was literally carved into his flesh, bright and ugly. The ones from the crash hadn’t healed well. He’d never even gone to the hospital. He’d been young and desperate and hanging on by his fingertips. Debut was within reach and he was going to make it. He had to make it.

And he did.

He had a few small injection scars too. Too many years of relying on shots lubricate his joints and manage the pain and to be able to perform. It had never been a permanent solution; it had just been all they had to keep him going. Being stabbed over and over with a needle hadn’t been fun, and now he was getting a tattoo.

At least he had practice.

The surgery scars were subtle and clean. They had been minimised as much as possible, and Yoongi knew that the doctors had probably taken extra care to put him back together as beautifully as possible. He’d almost wanted to tell them that it didn’t matter. He wasn’t afraid of scars.

He carried them with pride.

But he was excited for his shoulder to bear the mark of something else. Not trauma, not pain management, not repair. BTS. His members. The love he felt for them living on his skin.

He’d thought his life and dream was done when he injured his shoulder. Now he’d mark that era with the proof that he had survived and thrived. He’d lived by one of his lyrics quite literally for years: If you feel like you're going to crash, then accelerate more.

He’d put his foot on the gas, pressing down and down, and he’d kept going. It had been so fast, almost too fast, but he’d continued to do it. And then BTS was flying. Taken off in a way he’d never been able to anticipate.

He was so fucking glad that he’d kept going.

Yoongi pulled the sleeve of his oversized T-shirt back, freeing his whole arm and most of his shoulder. Together with the tattoo artist he decided on the placement. The stencil was pressed into his skin.  

When Yoongi turned his head and moved his shoulder forward, he could see it himself. It looked quite small on the wide expanse of his skin, but it matched the members’ tattoos in size. All of them had decided that the design and placement could vary, but they had to be roughly the same size.

Something small but impactful.

He stepped in front of the mirror to take a better look. It was strange to watch his shoulder and see how the tattoo would fit against his skin. He knew he was just staring at it, but the tattoo artist seemed content to give him space to just take it all in.

“I like it,” Yoongi said eventually.

“First tattoo?” the tattoo artist asked, and readied the station for Yoongi to sit down.

“Yeah, and probably only,” Yoongi answered honestly.

He didn’t quite foresee that he’d want a whole bunch like Jungkook, or even Jimin who had a few select pieces scattered across his body. Yoongi could appreciate that art and he thought that the two of them picked stuff that suited their bodies and style, but it wasn’t really for him.

He was too perfectionistic and indecisive to decide on anything to be inked into his skin forever. Except for this. Because this choice of tattoo was not just his. It was theirs. And they were in this together.

They had withstood so, so much. The road to debut, how they struggled to make an impact as rookies, how they started to get attention only to experience backlash from their own industry, how they had been catapulted into a form of stardom that no group before them had done, how they had almost disbanded because it was all too much. They’d not had seniors to guide them, or an experience company to back them up. It had all been figured out along the way, paving the way, and it had nearly fractured them more than once.

But they had clung onto each other. The one source of stability in everything going on was the love and respect they had for each other. They all continued to give it their all, and if even just one of them had given up, Yoongi wasn’t sure they would have made it today.

They were seven. They had always been meant to be seven. He was proud to wear the mark of the seven of them on his skin.

It was a familiar practice to breathe through the pain as a needle touched his shoulder. It was something else to feel the buzzing of the tattoo machine and the small little pinches, but he was surprised that it didn’t really hurt that much.

Maybe his shoulder had just gone a bit numb. He wouldn’t be surprised if that was the case. It was a small price to pay. These days it was mostly pain free, if he kept up with his exercises, and he had recovered a majority of his movement too.

It was easy to zone out to the steady sound of the tattoo gun. Sink into the feeling of it. He was surprised when the gun was lifted off his skin, and the buzzing stopped. It felt like no time had passed at all.

“Done?” he asked, almost a bit baffled.

“Yes,” the tattoo artist confirmed, and he sounded slightly amused. “It’s only a little one.”

Yoongi huffed out a laugh. Yeah. He’d known that. But it was something else to feel it on his skin.

He twisted his shoulder forward to look at the tattoo. His new tattoo. It looked good. The skin was a bit raised and red under the black lines but it looked nice already. Yoongi got the tattoo artist to help him snap a photo to the group chat before it was covered up.

He was given extensive instructions on how to take care of it, and he promised to follow them. When he’d booked the appointment, Yoongi knew that HYBE had the tattoo artist sign an NDA or something to make sure that he couldn’t share any information about the tattoo. He wasn’t worried about it leaking.

“Thank you,” Yoongi told the tattoo artist, turning his shoulder to look at the tattoo once more.

It felt right that he had it now. He’d not felt pressured at the start when they’d decided on this, but now that he was the last one to get it done, the rest of the boys had teased him quite fiercely. It had been deserved.

It was the reason that he sent the photo to the group chat before he even walked out of the studio. Their group chat could either be several hundred messages a day to crickets for weeks at a time. But ever since they didn’t have as many group activities right now, it seemed that most of them made an effort to use it more.

Yoongi knew that he did. It was strange not to see each other most days. He missed the members and while texting didn’t really solve that ache, it did soothe it a little.

It would take a couple of days before all of them had reacted, with Jungkook being the last, but their reactions were very similar. They were excited, and happy and also still teasing Yoongi for dragging his feet so much.

Whenever he ran into the members in the coming months, all of them would ask to see his tattoo in the flesh. They all found it hilarious that he didn’t want to reveal it to ARMY and that there seemed to be a conspiracy that he’d gotten the tattoo on his butt.

He got asked about it every time he went live, but he kept elegantly dodging the questions. He wanted the reveal to be something special, and until then he was having quite a lot of fun with AMRY making a big deal of his tattoo. He promised himself that he’d at least show it before he enlisted, so they wouldn’t have to wait for while he went away. A bit of a parting gift.

He'd been working on the D-DAY ever since he finished up D-2, and he’d been so excited to finally get it out there. He was very proud of the songs, and he worked hard for all of the promotions and videos that he did along with the launch.

The music video for AMYGDALA had been particularly hard, diving into a trauma that he’d never really shown so openly. He’d sat down with Lumpens and told him what he wanted to achieve. The storytelling had come together beautifully and he loved that he had something so visual to accompany his music.

It had been hell to shoot, digging into emotions that he normally left be in the past behind him where they belonged. But it was almost cathartic to go through this. To capture it, so he could put it behind him. It was how writing the song had felt too.

All the while he shot it, he thought of the tattoo under his shirt, the mark that he and BTS had made it. He’d been healing, he’d been putting himself together. The door was still out of reach, but he didn’t stop fighting. He would never stop accelerating and fighting.

It was an insane idea to do a solo tour, but the other boys and HYBE had supported him. He’d been blown away by the support from ARMY, and how the tickets had been ripped away just as if it was a BTS concert. He knew he had a big legacy to carry all on his own and he worked his butt off for it.

He poured his heart and soul into the tour and up on stage every night, he sang from Agust D, D-2, D-DAY as well as BTS’s catalogue. The setlist and performance was carefully crafted and ARMY loved it.

They loved it so much that he was given a second chance to have tour dates in Seoul. Three more days. The finale. Six weeks after the tour was meant to end, he got a second chance to go again. And if he’d placed the tour dates so that Hoseok and Seokjin could take their leave and attend it, and so that Jungkook, Jimin and Namjoon could join him on stage, then that was just his business.

Jimin, Taehyung and Jungkook had been in the audience cheering him on the original final date, and Seokjin, Hoseok and Namjoon were in the audience on the new final date. All of his boys had come to see him, and he even got to pull some of them up on stage with him.

At every concert, ARMYs chanted their full fan chant as he geared up to play Life Goes On, the song that was originally meant to be their goodbye for now before they’d started to enlist. Plans had changed, but now Yoongi could play it before he had to go himself.

Life worked out funny sometimes.

He’d prepared a few special things for that night. The last final tour date. He had promised himself not to get overwhelmed with emotions, but he should have guessed that it was inevitable. Crying had been unfortunate, but ARMYs’ voices had come surrounded him, helping carry him through the songs. Seeing their faces and hearing their voices was why he was an artist, so it felt only fitting.

He loved creating music, but it would never have felt complete without getting to come out onto stage and share it. Music was meant to be played out loud and shared.

While he was rushing to get changed for the encore, Namjoon, Seokjin and Hoseok appeared backstage. Yoongi had been surprised to see them since they were meant to leave the concert early to get out safely, but instead they’d come to see him. To pull him into a hug after his tears on stage.

He’d protested, telling them to get off and just leave, but he’d still melted into the embraces and held on too tightly. They’d almost made him cry again. These men that he’d shared his life with could move past his barriers in a way no one else could.

During the encore, he finally revealed his tattoo. He played it off like it wasn’t a big thing, like he hadn’t been hiding the tattoo for several months and seen ARMY all spiral out trying to guess where it might be.

He wondered how many of them had figured out that he’d put it right on the shoulder that had almost cost him this life. He wore a smug smile as he pulled his jacket off to show it. The screams echoed inside of his skull, as he put the jacket back on and got on with the show.

He knew the members would tease him for how dramatic he was being with the reveal, but it felt right. Standing in front of ARMY. The 7 was for BTS, but they also wouldn’t have been BTS without ARMY. So, it felt right to show it here in Seoul, the city that had become his home, while knowing the concert was also being streamed to thousands more who couldn’t be with him physically but who was with him in spirit.

He was fighting back emotions as he walked around waving goodbye for the final time. The last time he’d stand on the stage before his enlistment. He hadn’t said it, but he didn’t need to. His time was coming soon, but he was ready now.

And he would come back. They would come back. He truly believed that the next time he’d stand on the stage in Seoul, it would be with all of his members. They’d be a little older, but that would be all. He trusted in the power of 7.

He ended with the white door. The one he had never managed to make it through in the AMYGDALA video. His shoulder ached, like it always did after a long concert, but Yoongi felt too elated to mind it. He reached for the handle, opened the door and walked through.

Turning around, he waved goodbye to ARMY, proud to have reached this part of his life. He closed the door, and he was rushed back to HYBE.

He did a quick Weverse live to check in with ARMY, and officially mark the end of the tour, and then he would go have dinner and drinks with his boys. He’d listen to their teasing and feel their love.

Maybe they’d take a photo of their matching tattoos now that his wasn’t secret anymore.

Even in this period of uncertainty where they would all be split up for more than a year, he truly believed in the message he’d left up on the screen at the concert.

As long as he had BTS, the future was going to be okay.

[waterhorseyblues-ao3]

FrostHawk for 7, 10, 13 or 22 👀 whatever you think its. That's as narrowed down as I could get since "all" isn't an option 😂

tumblr fuckign ATE MY POST the first time i answered these and i NEARLY CRIED

anyway you can game the system and just send me manageable chunks of the full list over a long period of time and then you get "all"

***

(…to shut them up.)

Loki loved to talk. He could talk the sun down and the moon to waning. He could talk circles around an orbiting planet. He could talk his way out of a Chinese puzzle box. Loki could talk when there was nothing to talk about.

Clint had got into the habit of switching his hearing aid off, and enjoying an hour's peace before his frequent visitor even noticed. Loki would then sulk up a storm until sulking got boring, and he would talk again.

Clint hated to admit it, but when he did listen to Loki, he thought he was funny. Between the bullshit and exaggerations, there were also kernels of truth in there that betrayed his true intelligence. Also, when he did shut up, he was pretty attractive.

Attractive enough.

Loki was midway through rambling about some journey he and Thor had gone on as kids when Clint interrupted by leaning in and covering his mouth with his own. Loki kissed back, surprised but pleased by the development. When Clint pulled away, he opened his mouth to speak.

"Hey, shut up," Clint told him. "You got better uses for that mouth."

Loki grinned and pulled him into another kiss.

***

(…desperately.)

"Sir?"

Clint had found him tucked away in a quiet corner where he had been trying to get his thoughts together. His whole body hurt and his head was full of fuzz. The archer had removed most of his usual gear, likely to keep it in good condition. He seemed softer this way.

He reached out to grab him by the arm and pulled him close. "You'd do exactly as I told you, am I right?"

"Yes. Of course." Clint's brow furrowed.

Things were going bad. Very bad. He'd thoroughly underestimated who he was up against and everything was a lot more complicated to figure out. They were running out of time.

His head hurt so much.

"Kiss me."

"Sir?"

Loki yanked Clint close to him, arms tight around his waist as he kissed him harder than he'd ever kissed anyone. Clint flinched at first, grabbing his arm to stop him, thinking he was under attack. Then he froze. Loki's mouth on his was not what he'd expected at all.

But Loki was shaking, like the rumble of a volcano about to errupt.

Clint closed his blue eyes and did as he was told, kissing Loki with all he had, offering the god the only solace he could.

***

(…discreetly.) (or not so)

They weren't official yet. Or, rather, not officially official. They were official between them, but they hadn't said anything yet. Loki wanted to, Clint wanted to hold off. It wasn't that he was embarrassed or ashamed - except maybe he was a bit embarrassed - but more he knew he wouldn't be able to stand what everyone would have to say about it.

They'd both changed a lot since New York, things were different, they'd sorted their shit out and now... Now he and Loki got sloppy on his couch sometimes. That was no one else's business!

Thor was with them at the bar, talking very animatedly about something that Clint was only half paying to. It was hard to give it his attention when his preferred Asgardian god was playing footsie under the table.

"Another round!" Thor proclaimed. "This one's on me. I was able to aquire some Midgardian money on a recent trip!"

"Ah, you can get the one after as well, then, as I carry none of that," Loki told him sweetly.

"You will pay me back later?

"Oh, yes, I'll make sure to remind you of what I owe," Loki lied.

Thor left them alone.

"He's gonna find out if you're not careful," Clint warned.

"And if he does?"

"I'm not ready!"

"But I'm so bored of this." Loki slumped in his seat, woefully hard done by. "Thor's not looking our way. Quick. Give me a kiss."

Clint glanced over. He was right. They were in the clear. He leaned across the table to kiss Loki quickly, but the god caught him by the collar and held him there as he pressed a fierce kiss to his lips, staying until Clint made a sound of protest. When they broke apart, he looked immensely smug. Clint frowned and glanced over at Thor once more.

The oldest brother, made a big show of pretending not to have seen.

Clint buried his face in his hands.

***

(…in a rush of adrenaline.)

Hawkeye was not just a code name, it was an earned title. Clint's aim was dead centre every time, and he was fast in his aim. Even in armed combat he was proficient, able to swap to close-range weapons and hand-to-hand with ease, approaching each fight with a fearless aggression.

Loki found it fiercely attractive.

The fight was brutal, and Loki was on the ground using magic and weapons to hold his enemies off. His limbs burned with exertion and sweat beaded on his skin.

He turned, seeing someone behind him, and tensed up, ready to take a blow he couldn't block. But then the arrow hit, and his enemy dropped to the ground. Clint stood behind him, bow raised.

"Barton!"

Loki hurried over to him, crossing the space between them in the time it took Clint to lower the bow. He gripped him by the shoulders and yanked him into a crushing kiss, open-mouthed and heated. Clint moaned against his mouth, wobbling as his knees went weak. Loki pulled away as suddenly as he'd come close, grinning down at him.

"Very good work. You'll be rewarded later."

Clint nodded, heart in his throat, and hoped he'd get a chance to do that again.

[elprupneerg]

it sucks, enjoying seeing my family and yet having everything that surrounds seeing them be filled with pain and stress and discomfort. especially since half the discomfort and stress could be taken out if i didn't have to deal with my mom's bullshit. putting in a readmore cuz i'm trying to get better about my vents being too visible/triggering for people that don't wanna see that shit. warning for unsanitary stuff, bodily fluids (both animal and human), abuse/neglect of a disabled elder, very long explanation of events because nothing in my life is simple and i don't know how to cut things down very well

so my parents headed down to iowa for the family reunion a day early. we all met at a restaurant at noon, and in order to get there in time those of us who left the same day had to leave between 7am and 8am. my parents wanted to avoid that, so they left friday night and stayed in a hotel.

however, this meant they needed someone at the house at 7pm friday night and 7am saturday morning to give 2 of the dogs meds (one is every 24 hours, the other is every 12 hours. the third doesn't need meds but gets a piece of hotdog anyway because otherwise she feels left out). none of my younger siblings were willing/able to do it, and picking me up from my parents house instead of from my apartment shaved about 45 minutes of drive time off the trip. so i slept over.

last time i slept over was on the night of the 4th since i'd thought everyone would be drinking on the holiday and didn't wanna worry about people getting into trouble with holiday traffic. my old room got turned into a guest room (and oohhhhhhh boy do i still have thoughts on how that went down, but that's another story) and there's now 2 beds in it. my mom warned me on the 4th that one of the cats used to sleep on one of the beds, but she kept him shut out of the room after she realized he was peeing on the bed. once he got out of the habit of being in the room, she'd started leaving the door open and the dogs had taken to sleeping on the other bed. so she recommended that i sleep on the bed that the cat had previously claimed and now none of the dogs laid on. i was very very very stupid and took her at her word.

the blankets and sheets had been cleaned (several months ago) and had some hair from being generally Around the dogs (expected) and a spider living between the sheets (unexpected and upsetting). however there was an odd and very very very very very strong smell of cat piss. i'd thought it was something wrong with the large teddy bear sitting on the bed (stuffed animals soak up smells very easy and are hard to clean) and brushed it off. i didn't sleep much, but i survived.

i knew that i was gonna have the house to myself for several hours before i would be anywhere close to sleeping, and i knew that i didn't want anything to smell that strongly of piss again. so the first thing i did when i got dropped off at the house was take the blankets and sheets off the bed to take them to the laundry. the blankets and sheets were clean and smelled fine. no stains or anything.

the mattress pad underneath the bottom sheet had a giant piss stain. we're talking "if i laid down on the bed with my head at the top, the other end of the stain reached my elbows" size. gross. nasty. explains why i smelled piss the entire night last time. i start trying to get the mattress pad off, with the thought that i would wash it and then put it back on the bed with the stained side towards the foot of the bed so it wouldn't smell so strongly.

there was a second mattress pad underneath. it was also stained in the exact same spot. "how odd" i'd thought "that they'd change the sheets and wash everything post-cat-pissing, and just happen to put the stained parts lining up together". but i was starting to get a very bad feeling about this.

everything was machine washable and dryable, so i did 2 loads of laundry to get everything done before bed. i pulled things out, used a basket to take everything upstairs, and started examining things so i could find the stained parts and put those at the foot of the bed.

the stains were almost entirely gone. there was still a faint smell of cat piss if you shoved your face too close and the slightest bit of off-white coloring if you knew what to look for, but otherwise? completely gone.

after realizing that the cat was peeing on the bed, my mother had taken the blanket, top sheet, and bottom sheet off the bed and washed them. she had then put them back on the bed, Directly On Top Of The Piss Soaked And Stinking Mattress Pads, and then called it a day.

i was hurt and disgusted and sore (partly from having to lift up a mattress to get sheets on it while having joint problems, but tis the nature) but i was able to get over my anger and hurt and go to sleep. after all, my mom doesn't always think things through, and she doesn't always notice smells and things like that, so its. well its not Fine, but its fine. i guess.

the next day we're all at the reunion, we've gone out to eat and then gone to my cousins' house to hang out and chat. and mom starts telling a story about work.

my mom drives for uber and lyft. sometimes they get contracted out for medical transport without getting told, and while she's not Sure this is what happened here, she was getting offered 3 times the normal rate for the distance she was driving and there was a "do not deviate from this route" warning when she was told what directions to take. so while she's kinda confused she ends up taking the ride.

mom gave too many personal details so i'm gonna try and cut that shit out. the relevant parts are that the guy who scheduled the ride seemed high off his gourd, and he'd scheduled it for his elderly relative who uses a wheelchair. high guy carried his relative down to the car, and leaves him to get himself in while saying weird and mean shit to my mom. relative has trouble controling his bladder, and ended up putting mom's floor mats on the seat so when he had an accident it wouldn't soak into the seats (dude was obviously doing his best with a crap situation, i hope the elderly relative gets better supplies/caretaker soon because jesus christ). high guy eventually wanders off to grab his relative's wheelchair and blankets, which were also soaked in piss. mom noticed the smell, and when she commented on it high guy started screaming awful things at her and his relative. they're eventually able to get the chair in the car and the high guy away from the car so they could drive off. rest of ride goes without a hitch, but mom notices the smell the whole way there.

she then goes on to explain how she cleaned out her car, and how much effort it took, and how she was so so so careful with it to make sure the back of her car and her car's trunk were nice for her and her passengers.

so like. she's able to notice the (honestly not that strong) smell of pee from this poor guy, but not the ammonia heavy Stench of cat piss on the bed she told her kid to sleep on? she's willing to go to all that effort to clean and detail her car but can't even do a 2nd load of laundry to clean off the cat pee on the mattress pads?

she's gone on and on and ON about how sad she is that none of us want to spend any time in the guest bedroom sleeping over by her. but she hasn't thought that maybe the fact that the room is decorated kinda weird, or that one of the beds has been claimed by the dogs, or that the other bed was literally fucking soaked in cat piss, could have anything to do with it?

she's perfectly willing to moan and complain about how none of her kids want to sleep over in this room that she worked soooooooooooo fucking hard to clean out all the "junk" (my belongings, which she had a lot of fun looking through and then gossiping about with my siblings) and redecorate to make it look "nice and welcoming". but she can't put in the energy to Wash Some Fucking Sheets? she made a big deal about how she made a diamond art picture for me that she thought fit my aesthetic (it doesn't, it fits the vibe she Wants me to have). but she Can't Make Sure That When I Sleep Over There I'm Not Sleeping On Top Of Cat Piss.

not sure how to end this. just like. fuck. goddammit. what the fuck. jesus fucking christ. i hate that house and i hate that room. i should've taken a picture of how nasty those fucking mattress pads looked before i washed them so i'd have proof to show her cuz i know she won't believe me if i tell her. and she'll Still wonder why none of her kids want to sleep over. and it'll be all her fault

[dfnkt]

So the "green revolution" is just gonna be neolibs destroying South America for lithium as it becomes increasingly uninhabitable huh. It looks like the game plan is basically, fuck those mountains and those forests and the HUGE carbon sink potential it has if we'd stop deforesting it. The Panama canal is gonna dry up? Guess we'll just build a highway across the fucking continent like we always wanted to anyway.

Can't wait to see how America treats all the climate refugees at our southern border that WE created. 10k people a day or more some days at present. Picture hundreds of thousands and then millions as crisis looms and remember how our government handles people in need, regardless of whether its the red dictator or the blue dictator. Consider how both parties already weaponize fears about immigration using "displacement" or "loss of culture" or lack of available resources aka artificial scarcity. And then fucktuple that and tell me that genocide Joe is gonna make things better. Tell me that the American nation can get exponentially more radical and survive. We will be at full scale war and brazen occupation of South America probably by 2040 if I had to ballpark it, but we'll see. South America will basically resemble USNATO prison camps and military states. I can already imagine the justifications we'll offer about making trade possible in the region, curbing "terrorism" et cetera. Basically we'll do exactly what we did and are still doing to the middle east.

Gonna be fascinating. I get more sure that I'm going to witness the fall of modern civilization in my lifetime every year considering we cannot survive a 2C+ climate, but we can't avoid that climate without such extremely rapid degrowth and rewilding that it is only theoretically possible in human manpower. Like, our best case scenario is basically "if the whole global economy shifted overnight and everything was severely kneecapped especially for the most gluttonous capitalists corporations by a really huge factor then we have the *chance* at having a habitable planet for humans by 2100, albeit at a reduced population and with a smaller habitable zone for the foreseeable hundreds of thousands of years." And every single day is a case of "we should have done this a day/year/decade/century ago". Meanwhile emissions are rapidly increasing at exponential rates. The political will does not exist to save the planet. Even if we made all the right changes now, we are already locked in to changes that will reduce the quality of life of everyone on this fucking planet in the lifetime of every Gen Z and younger, and most millennials, even in wealthy nations. We may well already have signed the commitment for as much as 4C or more degrees of warming by 2050. Guess what doesn't exist at +4C? The global capitalist economy. New iPhones. Oh, or vertebrate mammals. That's you. Your mom. Your dad. Your best friends and future children. All the food you eat and everything you've ever loved. Why are we not acknowledging that we are being thrown off the cliff like Disney's lemmings?

I feel like I'm insane, living in a parallel reality. We should be shutting everything down. Nothing matters more than this. We should, quite literally, be shutting the world down in order to save it. Nothing else will. You can thank neoliberals for pushing this disaster off of capitalism and onto people's "personal carbon footprint". None of my friends can talk about this subject because they are just all too afraid, which I always respect. I don't know anyone else familiar with the science of things either, so I have no one really to commiserate with about the profound grief of watching the world end. Even if I get to live out my natural lifespan, I will witness some of the most horrible atrocities that mankind has to offer. We all are witnessing that right now. If you don't think climate change could be an extinction level event in your lifetime, then you should really seriously evaluate what kind of life you want to live and then live it while you can. That is all any of us can do anymore.