#well. apart from the fact that i sometimes go mia for days at a time and dont reply to messages

[mlm-blues]

godh i am just. completely hopeless at friendships lol i just cannot seem to keep them idk what im doing wrong

[lovecla]

© property of lovecla, nhl masterlist, nico hischier x you.

FAKE IT ‘TILL YOU MAKE IT, phase six:

<last chapter>

➴ chapter warnings: none.

➴ word count: 2.5k

💌 from me to you: as i wrote this, i thought to myself “is this too soon? can you really fall in love with someone in three months?” and then i laughed out loud because i’ve fallen in love with people in three days. so three months’s basically a year to me. also, em and nico are too precious to suffer. and so are y’all. ♡

𖧷

𖧷

“I AM not letting you see her, how many times do I have to tell you that?”

“Mia, it will be just five minutes, I swear.”

“Nico, you know I like you a lot but she doesn’t want to see you—”

“You didn’t even ask her—”

“In fact, I didn’t ask because she’s not here.”

“She told me she sleeps at your place sometimes, especially when she’s upset. And I went to her house to check if she was there, and she wasn’t.”

“Well, she obviously lied to you because she’s not here—”

“You posted a picture of her yesterday.”

“You won’t believe me but I was actually hacked—”

You sigh, listening to Mia and Nico’s bickering while you rest your body on Mia’s bed. You and Mia had just woken up twenty minutes ago with your phone ringing, and when you picked it up, you saw that you had one missed call from Nico and some messages he left for you.

“It’s Nico.” You mumbled, still half-asleep.

Mia grunts. “Tell him to go away. We’re sleeping.”

You chuckle lightly and turn your phone off, turning to the side and hugging Mia again, resuming your sleep.

It seems like ignoring him was the wrong choice, since he had just arrived at Mia’s apartment (and you can only try to imagine how he even got her address in the first place). You could hear Mia trying to convince him that her Instagram account had gotten hacked and how frustrated Nico was getting with her obvious lie.

You get up, put on the slippers you borrowed from her last night, and you leave the room while you rub your eyes— they were still puffy and swollen from all of your sobbing but if Nico wanted to see you, then it’d have to be like this.

“Nico, can you just leave?” Mia is standing by her front door, and you can see how tired of arguing she is. But it looks like Nico can be a persistent, little guy when he wants to. “You’re, like, one hundred and seventy five pounds of muscle so please, I don’t want to fight you at ten in the morning—”

“You want to fight me?” Nico scoffs.

“I just told you I don’t want to—”

You cough, making both of them look at you.

“Emma.”

And of course that hearing Nico call your name with that breathy, sweet voice of his makes your heart stop inside your chest. It’s like your own body is doing its hardest to make you hurt, but, at the end, you know it’s all your head.

You wish you could be mad at him. Like, really mad at him. With reasons to. Reasons like you shouldn’t be this handsome or you shouldn’t be this kind, reasons that would make him stay away from you.

You wish you could say that, if you had the chance, you’d go back in time and never do any of this. You’d never propose this crazy ass idea, you’d never tell him that Nora would notice him if you were both dating. You’d never kiss him, or sleep on his chest, or chat with his family like you’re his bride to be.

You also wish he was a bad person. Someone unpleasant, someone boring, someone rude. You wish he didn’t text you daily to know how you’re doing, you wish he didn’t ask your boss to give you the day off on your birthday, you wish he didn’t give you his jacket whenever he sensed you were feeling cold.

You wish Nico Hischier wasn’t himself.

But on top of it all, you wish he was yours.

“Baby,” Mia says, letting go of the door and walking towards you. “I can handle him. I still haven’t used my ‘I’m on my period’ excuse so—”

You chuckle, lifting your hand and putting a strand of her hair behind her ear, kissing her cheek carefully. “It’s okay,” Your voice cracks, still a little bit hoarse from all the crying, but you continue talking nonetheless. “I’ll take it from here.”

“Are you sure?” She furrows her brows, staring at you with worried eyes. “You don’t have to. It’s okay if you need time.” She whispers and you smile, nodding once.

“I’ll be fine,” you whisper back, kissing her cheek again before watching her leave her living room. You turn your head toward the door again, and you can see Nico leaning against it, watching you with attentive eyes. You try to smile, but it doesn’t exactly reach your eyes or make your face glow. It’s just there. “Hi, Nico. I’m sorry about all of this.”

“Are you okay?” it’s the first thing he asks, entering the house and closing the door behind him with his left hand. He takes tentative steps towards you, and stops right in front of you.

You bite your lip, thinking of what to say. “I think I caught a cold. I’m not really in my best shape right now, I’m sorry.”

Nico shakes his head and clicks his tongue, muttering something in German before looking at you again.

“I know you’re lying.”

You stutter. “I-I’m not—”

“I’ve known you for years, Em,” he chuckles, humourlessly. “It seems like you’ve forgotten that I’ve seen the good, the bad, and the in-between. And that I know how you look when you’re sick and I also happen to know when you’re lying. And you,” he steps forward, his crossed arms touching your body. “Are lying right now.”

“Nico—”

“But what I can’t understand is why. I’m trying to come up with a reason but I just… can’t.”

The look on his face alone is enough to make you want to cry. You can tell he’s being genuine and it hurts so bad.

“So, I’m here, Em, to ask you to explain to me what’s wrong,” he uncrosses his arms and places both of his hands on your waist, on top of the pyjama set you were wearing. You hold in a whine, and then want to kiss him again. “Tell me what’s wrong. I’ll try to make it right.”

He sounds hopeful and optimistic. He sounds like he’d try anything to make you happy, to make your worries go away.

Lord.

“Nothing’s wrong, I promise you,” you lie, but it’s useless: the tears gathering in your eyes give you away.

“Stop lying,” he pleads, brown eyes so full of worries and fears. You want to slap yourself. “Just… Tell me what’s wrong.”

You look around, biting your bottom lip, while you try to think of what to do. One thing’s for sure, you don’t want to do this, whatever this is, at Mia’s place.

“Can we go to my house? I don’t want to bother Mia anymore.” You ask, only to hear Mia’s loud voice:

“You’re not bothering me, baby!” she says, entering her living room again, and walking directly towards you. She places her hands on your shoulder and smiles at you. “You know you’re always welcomed here. You don’t need to leave.”

You smile back, hoping she’ll see the amount of love you have for her in your eyes. “It’s okay. I’ll be fine,” you repeat once again. “It’s Sunday and you should rest. I love you.”

She stares at you for two more seconds before kissing your temple and sighing. “I love you too. And if that’s what you really want, then I guess it’s alright. Call me if you need anything.”

“I will, I promise.”

After gathering your things and promising to give Mia’s clothes back once you had them washed, you and Nico went to your place, both in silence inside his car.

You couldn’t stop braiding your hair, something you’d always do whenever you were anxious. In the short car ride from Mia’s house to yours, you had probably braided your hair over twenty times, but your heart still felt heavy in your chest.

You knew what you had to do. You knew that this time you’d have to be the bigger person, and you’d have to be honest with yourself and Nico, for the sake of your friendship. You couldn’t just pretend you weren’t upset with the entire situation and move on— Nico doesn’t deserve that.

Nico deserves the truth and honesty. Lying more won’t get you anywhere.

You open your apartment’s door and let out a relieved sigh to be in your safe space again. Nico gets inside and removes his boots, leaving them by the door, with your shoes as well.

“Will you talk to me now?” He asks, and you hum, gathering courage to tell him the truth. “Em?”

“Nico—”

“What’s wrong?” He’s so close to you and you can feel his body’s heat against yours. He has a sad expression on his face and you want to take it away, make him smile again. “Tell me what’s wrong, Em.”

“If I—” you inhale, regretting immediately after since all you could smell was his scent. The same scent that has been haunting you for the past three months. “If I show you what’s wrong, promise me things won’t change between us.”

He looks at you like you’re insane. “Of course things won’t change between us, Em, what are you talking ab—”

“Nico,” your voice cracks, and you look up, holding eye contact with his cinnamon eyes. “Promise me.”

“I promise you,” he nods his head up and down. “I promise you nothing will change between us. You’re still Emma and I’m still Nico.”

You don’t answer him, at least not with words. You stand on the tip of your toes before gently placing your hands on his chest, and kissing him on the lips.

It’s just a peck, nothing like the two previous kisses you’ve shared before, but it holds meaning and it holds feelings. Your eyes are wet with tears, but you manage to blink them away before you pull back.

Nico’s eyes are still closed when you start speaking again. “This is what’s wrong. I fell in love with you.”

His eyes fly open, and his face is flushed.

“Emma.”

“I’m sorry,” you whisper, now looking at your hands on his chest, silently memorizing each one of his heartbeats. “I didn’t mean to and I promise you I’m telling the truth. When I proposed the whole fake-dating idea, the only thing I wanted was to see you happy with Nora but now I’m the one who cannot stop thinking about you.”

It’s clear that Nico wants to say something, but you don’t let him; if you take too long to say what you have been keeping to yourself these past ninety days, you will end up not saying anything at all.

“But when you told me Nora had kissed you…” you close your eyes, trying to erase that night from your head. “That’s when I realised that what I feel for you goes beyond the friendship appropriate feelings.”

“Emma, let me—” he tries again, and you shake your head, feeling your hair move out of your face, the braid you had just done slowly falling apart.

“I’m not telling you this because I want you to tell me you feel the same, I don’t need your pity nor your lies,” you shrug, opening your eyes again, losing yourself inside him. “And I know we can’t be together. It’s fine, and—”

“Why?” He asks, grabbing your right wrist, caressing it with his thumb. You wanted to tell him not to do that because you’re weak, so weak.

“Why what?” You tilt your head.

“Why can’t we be together? You just told me you are in love with me.”

You chuckle. “And you’re in love with Nora,” her name made you want to puke. Preferably on her. “So of course we can’t be together.”

“I’m not in love with Nora.”

His affirmation makes you take a step back, confusion and hope running around your body, making your insides twist. It makes you think—

“What do you mean you’re not in love with Nora Ellis?” you ask, marveled. “Nico, you’ve been in love with this girl for ages.”

He shrugs, like what he said is just another casualty. “I realised I was being naive. And pathetic.”

“Don’t say that,” you reply. “You’re not pathetic.”

He smiles for the first time since you last saw him, and it does wonders to your heart. It makes you want to kiss him again and again until your lips are swollen and carmesim.

“I’ve always thought that, when we kissed, it’d feel like those Disney movies, with fireworks and romantic music,” he starts. “But it just… sucked. It wasn’t nice, we didn’t fit. And I couldn’t stop comparing her lips to yours, which wasn’t really nice of me.”

Your heart stops for a second inside your chest.

“Kissing Nora didn’t feel as good as kissing you, Em.”

You’re sure that you would’ve never imagined Nico would say something like this to you, out of all people. You can feel your palms getting sweaty so you just rub them on Mia’s pants, hoping that it’d distract you from the bomb Nico just threw at your arms, hoping you’d know how to disarm it.

“Nico,” you say, stuttering a few times before you manage to finish your sentence. “You… you can’t just say things like this and expect me to act normal.”

“I don’t expect you to act normal,” he laughs. “I expect you to kiss me again.”

“Pardon me?!” You gasp.

You’re confused. So freaking confused. Your heart is racing, your eyes are popping out and your mouth is dry.

But Nico doesn’t even care. Not when he steps closer to you again, closing the distance between the two of you and kissing you on the lips.

You whimper inside his mouth, more surprised than anything, and it would’ve been comic if it wasn’t so tragic. His right hand finds the back of your neck almost immediately, while his left one grips your waist with strength.

His mouth tastes like a very specific Swiss candy that he eats all the time but you can’t really remember its name, you just know it’s his favorite— and it makes you love him even more.

He opens your lips with his tongue, and when your own touches his, it’s like magic. It fits so well.

“I want you,” he confesses against your lips, both of you breathing hard. “You’re the one I want, Emma.”

“What about Nora?” you whisper.

“She’s not you,” he kisses your cheek, loving and sweet. “I am sorry it took me this long to realize she isn’t the one for me and I’m sorry I made you cry. If you want me, I’m yours.”

If you want me, I am yours.

You kiss him again, fervently and with ardor. Smiling against his lips, you want to tell him he’s being an idiot because—

“Then you’re mine.”

𖧷

emma.priv

liked by tmeier96 and 39 others

emma.priv hi nico and i are dating

View all 19 comments

notmiaturner yall are straight up crazy

notmiaturner nico istg u better sleep with an eye open

nicohischier notmiaturner :(

notmiaturner nicohischier stop being fucking cute i mean it

jackhughes Emma take care of him for me… #sad #destroyed #grieving

emma.priv jackhughes you’re unbelievable

_quinnhughes Why are you announcing it like we didn’t know it already

priv.nat I feel like there’s a hidden lore in this but congratulations I guess??

ellamariepriv priv.nat i second this… somethings up

notmiaturner ellamariepriv priv.nat group chat rn

jackhughes notmiaturner let me in real quick

notmiaturner jackhughes FUCKING WEIRDO

emma.priv jackhughes notmiaturner no arguing in my comment section. yall take this whole situation of yours somewhere else

<next chapter>

[koiiiji]

windbreaker characters as parents ༘⋆🌷🫧💭 ⋆˙

tw ; cuteness overload, contains character x character and character x reader

pairings ; min u x mia, shelly x jay jo, dom x reader, monster x reader, vinny x reader

౨ৎ let's start from min u and mia! proud parents of a girl and boy who are three years apart. girl is the older sister and goes along with her brother super well even through his puberty. mia is a great mother and her kids never hide anything from her as they know that they can trust her. mia and her daughter have their own "girls secrets" and side jokes, while min u and his son are super annoyed by it and tried to make their own side jokes, but girls always know its context. also, their grandad and auntie yuna spoil them so much!!! and also min u father are so proud of his son and he really likes mia. all in all 10/10 highly recommended to be born in this family.

౨ৎ shelly and jay. here things are more complicated because shelly parents insisted on them move in the UK during her pregnancy, but they decided to stay in Korea simply because shelly likes weather more and feel more comfortable there. life blessed them with a boy - a copy of his father. but he is a mummy's boy and he gets along with shelly more, even their son's first word was "mama!" when he happily squished shelly’s cheek with his small hands. with time, he builds more interests with jay’s hobbies, so till he hit his puberty he was such a sweet child. but when he turned 14? monster that going through "nobody understands me" era. sometimes jay wonders maybe he need to send his son to his mother so she will teach him some discipline, but then jay remembers that he doesn't want to give his child such trauma. by the way jay family calmed down the moment jay was accepted on the really well paid job and even his mother was proud that her son has international family. all in all 7/10 bc both jay and shelly parents would have a beef over who is better grandparents.

౨ৎ so i can imagine that dom would accept his father's business even tho he didn't insist. so you two were gifted with three daughters each with year apart. dom honestly wished his first would be a boy so he can grow up and protect his sisters, but fate had her own ideas. through your second pregnancy dom repeated that he would be happy for girl or boy, just healthy, strong child (he prayed for a boy), and you decided not to find out who you were going to have until the baby was born. and it was sweet, super calm girl. on third pregnancy dom really tried to have a boy (yes, he scrolled all that weird mums forums to find out in which pose you can conceive a boy). he has genuinely been surprised when doctor said you will have a girl. who was the happiest over the fact that he surrounded by girls? his father!! he loves all four of you, and dom suspect that his father loves you more than him. he definitely would call you daughter and generally he is super granddad and father-in-law. your daughters loves their granddad too!! imagine them cling to him from all sides, hanginig on his neck, arms and legs. generally girls goes along super good, but oldest and youngest are more close to their father as they share extrovert personality, while middle girl gets super along with you. dom are scared that they are growing up too fast and that in one day they will start dating b̴̨̢̰͖̂ͫͨ̒ͦͩơ̷̧̢̛̤̠̻͔̤̖̳͖̥̼̲̮̥̣̼̮̂̽̓ͮ͆̉ͩ͆ͣͧ̿ͫ́͋ͩ̏̚̕̚͜͞y̶̢͎̜̬͖̩̰̬̞̓͌̽͆̈́̉̑ͨ̂ͧ͌̌̇̅͗͌͘͜͟s̶̸̢͉͙͈̳̻̣̲͔̜̩ͮ̌̃̄̄̓̍̽͌̈́͑́͑ͩ͟͠͝ 💀☠️ all in all 9/10 dom vibes with his favourite girls but one one stingy male tear drops when he sees fathers play baseball with their sons (he was hitted in the nose with a ball from his youngest daughter)

౨ৎ when you and deokbong announced that you will have a child, people were... curious - how?? how you would be able to carry his child since you look so small in comparison to him. and you know what? it was twin boys... the birth was difficult but you did it and then you faced new challenge - both boys was copy of their father and they was heavy. you prayed for your back, seriously, but deokbong is super supportive husband and father so he was always there to help you. thankfully your boys were calm. like literally they always had serious faces, fists clenched and almost never cried. with time your younger one maintained your character and more of your features showed, like brows and nose form, cheeks, and face shape. all in all 10/10 you four would be happy simple sport family!!

౨ৎ vinny hong refuse to have children. end of headcanon.

but seriously, vinny had huge trauma from his father and from bulling in school, he will never be sure that he is enough as financially and emotionally for kids, so you two are proud parents of one big dog, maybe doberman or cane corso and lazy cat. all in all 7/10 just because there are too much wool at home and vinny refuse to go on a walk with dog in the early morning.

[fragmentfantacy18]

Just a Crush

Mia stood in front of the mirror in her trailer, adjusting her hair for what felt like the hundredth time. The first day of shooting Outer Banks was still a blur in her mind, but now, months later, she felt like she had settled into the rhythm of the show. She had grown close with the cast—Chase, Madelyn, JD, and of course, Drew Starkey. Drew, with his quiet confidence and that easy-going smile, had quickly become someone Mia couldn’t help but think about.

It had all started innocently. From the moment they met, Drew had been warm and welcoming, cracking jokes and making her feel at ease in what was otherwise a nerve-wracking situation. The cast bonded quickly, spending nearly every waking hour together between shoots, script readings, and long days on set. They were a family now, and Drew—well, Drew had this way of making her laugh, of making her feel seen.

But the more time Mia spent with Drew, the more she realized that the casual camaraderie had begun to morph into something else, at least for her. She’d catch herself thinking about him after they wrapped for the day or finding excuses to sit next to him during lunch. And then there was that smile—the one that made her heart skip a beat every time he flashed it her way.

It was a crush, plain and simple. And it was hers to keep secret.

No one knew. Not Madelyn, who was her closest friend on set, and definitely not Drew. Mia was good at playing it off, acting like nothing was out of the ordinary. They were just castmates—friends who happened to work well together. The fact that Drew didn’t seem to notice anything made it both easier and harder. Sometimes, he’d flash her a grin during a scene or throw a sarcastic comment her way, and she’d feel that jolt of excitement. Other times, she’d wonder if he saw her as nothing more than just another coworker.

Then season one came out.

The show blew up overnight, their Instagram accounts flooded with comments, fan theories, and excitement for what was to come. Suddenly, the group was doing press, interviews, and all sorts of social media promotions to keep up with the growing fan base.

That’s how Mia found herself sitting on a couch in one of their shared apartments, phone propped up on a stand, ready to go live on Instagram to promote Outer Banks with the rest of the cast.

“Alright, we’re live!” JD announced, hitting the button on his phone as everyone piled into the frame.

“Hey, guys!” Madelyn said, waving at the screen. “What’s up, OBX family?!”

Chase jumped in next. “We’re here to answer all your questions, talk about the show, and just hang out for a bit.”

Drew slid onto the couch beside Mia, his shoulder brushing hers as he leaned in to get into the shot. She stiffened slightly at the contact, but quickly masked it with a smile. She could already see the comments scrolling up on the screen, fans flooding the live chat with excitement.

“Hey, everyone!” Drew said with that signature grin, waving at the screen. “What’s up? What’s everyone doing?”

Mia let out a laugh, leaning closer to the camera. “Probably watching Outer Banks for the third time,” she teased, and the group laughed along with her.

“Or plotting our next disaster,” JD added, winking at the camera.

The comments were already pouring in, but one caught Mia’s attention.

“OMG, Drew and Mia! The chemistry!” one fan wrote.

Another comment followed: “They’re so cute together!”

Mia felt her cheeks heat up, but she played it off, shooting a glance at Drew, who was scrolling through the comments on his own phone.

“Oh no,” she muttered under her breath, catching sight of the same comment. “The fans are already shipping us.”

Drew smirked and leaned in closer, so his face was inches from hers, his expression teasing. “Shipping us? Mia and I? Please. I think we’re more of a disaster duo.”

Mia raised an eyebrow, fighting the smile that threatened to break through. “Oh, really? You think you could handle being in a ship with me?”

Drew chuckled, shaking his head. “Oh, I could handle it, alright. The real question is—could you?”

JD cut in, grinning as he nudged them both. “Oh, come on, you two. The banter is killing me.”

Chase laughed from the other side of the couch. “They’re like an old married couple already!”

“Exactly!” Madelyn chimed in, her eyes wide with fake seriousness. “Just bickering all the time.”

Mia laughed along with everyone, but she couldn’t deny the warmth spreading through her. Drew’s sarcasm always had a way of making her laugh, even when it was directed at her.

“Alright, alright,” Drew said, holding his hands up in mock surrender. “I’m not saying we’d be a bad couple. But come on, look at her,” he said, gesturing toward Mia with a dramatic flourish. “She’d destroy me with that wit.”

Mia rolled her eyes but played along, leaning back into the couch with a grin. “You’d deserve it.”

More comments poured in, fans loving the back-and-forth between them.

“They’re totally flirting!”

“Drew and Mia HAVE to date, no question.”

“Look at the way he’s looking at her!”

Mia tried not to let it get to her, but she couldn’t stop the small smile tugging at the corners of her mouth as she glanced at Drew. He caught her eye, and for a moment, something unspoken passed between them. It was just a fleeting look, but it made Mia’s heart race.

“Okay, back to the questions, people,” Chase said, waving at the camera. “We’ve got, like, ten minutes left, so hit us with your best.”

JD read out one of the questions. “Alright, this one’s for Mia—what was your favorite scene to film in season one?”

Mia sat up, thinking for a moment. “Ooh, that’s tough,” she said. “I loved filming the scenes with the Pogues, obviously, but I think my favorite was that big group scene on the boat. The energy was just so high, and we were all in it together.”

“And Drew?” JD asked, turning the question to him. “Favorite scene?”

Drew scratched the back of his head, thinking it over. “Honestly, the scenes where Rafe is just completely losing it,” he said, laughing. “I got to tap into some real crazy energy there.”

Mia shot him a sideways glance. “I don’t know, Drew. You were too good at playing unhinged. Should we be concerned?”

Drew gasped, pretending to be offended. “Excuse me? I’m an actor, Mia. It’s called range.”

“Oh, sure,” Mia said, her tone dripping with sarcasm. “Because you’re so different from Rafe in real life.”

“Hey, I’m not a psycho in real life,” Drew shot back, grinning. “Though you do bring out a certain side of me.”

Mia laughed, shaking her head as she leaned back into the couch. “I’m not even going to ask what that means.”

The fans in the comments were eating it up, flooding the chat with heart-eye emojis and comments about how “cute” they were together. Mia tried not to think too much about it, but she couldn’t help but notice how natural it felt—this banter, this back-and-forth with Drew. It was easy, fun, and it felt like they were the only two people in the room, even with the entire cast there.

As the Instagram Live started to wrap up, Chase turned to the camera, thanking the fans for all their support.

“Alright, guys, that’s all the time we’ve got for today,” he said, waving at the screen. “But keep watching Outer Banks, and we’ll see you soon!”

The cast waved as JD ended the live, and the room immediately burst into laughter.

“Man, they love you two together,” JD said, still scrolling through the comments.

Drew smirked, leaning back on the couch. “What can I say? Mia and I have great chemistry.”

Mia shot him a teasing glare. “Don’t let it go to your head, Starkey.”

“Too late,” Drew said with a wink, making the rest of the cast laugh.

As the group started to disperse, heading off to their trailers or making plans for dinner, Mia found herself standing in the corner of the room, Drew beside her. He was still scrolling through the fan comments on his phone, a small smile playing on his lips.

“They’re really into this whole ‘Drew and Mia’ thing,” he said, glancing at her. “What do you think?”

Mia shrugged, trying to play it cool. “I think they’re bored and need something to talk about.”

Drew chuckled. “Maybe. Or maybe they just see something we don’t.”

For a moment, their eyes met, and Mia felt that familiar flutter in her chest. She forced herself to smile, to act like it didn’t matter, like this was just another casual conversation between friends. But deep down, she wondered if maybe—just maybe—the fans weren’t completely off base.

Maybe they did see something between her and Drew.

But for now, Mia would keep her crush to herself, just like she always had.

[ljnsdump]

Everything in Time (Lee Jeno x F!reader)

Jeno x Female reader

MINORS DO NOT INTERACT

Sometimes, two people have to fall apart to realize how much they need to fall back together.

Genre: M/F, best friends to lovers, fluff, smut, tiny angst, late 20s established career setting

Warnings: Smut hehe, light edging, daddy kink and everything but no borderline mean and abusive tings, heart break

Word Count: 4,573

This is my nth story, excited for you to read this just because! I loooooove Jeno and I was really excited when I started writing this in my notepad. Hope you enjoy reding it as much as I enjoyed writing it!

Read at your own risk!

------

Jeno had just ended a relationship. It was bad, well not so much for him but for his ex. He loved her so much and they've been together for 2 years but Jeno just can't see his future with her. And by future meaning making a family with her, growing old together.

He's overworked himself for this exact reason. He just wants to forget the fact that the pressure of having a family of his own is eating him alive. Jeno spent his nights finishing his papers in his company building. It would just be him who'll be left and the security guards, not even his own assistant. He's constantly being reminded that he's almost 30 now and he's still in young, playful relationships.

That's the time his best friends came in. Jaemin and Y/N.

Jaemin is a surgeon in the making, he's just finishing up his internship as of the moment. He contacted Y/N who was outside the country because he knew that Jeno just needed to relieve his stress.

The three have been best friends ever since grade school up until now and they're the strongest trio everyone has ever seen. At some point in high school the three tied in top 1, their teachers had to verify it again and again to make sure.

"I'm gonna be arriving at around 2 PM on Friday. I have no one to pick me up, can you?" She asks Jaemin on the phone.

He frowns. "That's unfortunately within my shift. I'll just tell Jeno to pick you up. He should be available, he's the only one forcing himself with those schedules trying to be busy."

"Alright. I'll try to call him too."

Y/N packed two large suitcases for this two-day weekend vacation. They rented a small island that has a villa, and of course an amazing beach.

While she's boarding the plane, she calls up Jeno. Oh, and they didn't tell him yet about this vacation nor about her going back home.

He picks up after three rings. "Jeno-ya." She calls him.

"Hmm?"

"I need you to pick me up at the airport at 2 PM. I'm already boarding right now."

Jeno stops everything he's doing. "You're coming here?"

"Yeah, me and Jaem planned a weekend getaway for us. I don't want you to decline because I rarely go home."

"Why didn't you tell me earlier? I could've helped out with the preparations. You know how busy and stressful Jaemin's work can be."

She just loves how her friends are concerned with each other and they always offer each other help without hesitations. "Well, this is somewhat of a surprise for you, you've been MIA and now you're heartbroken. And also a break for Jaemin, you know his work and his fiancee can be bitches sometimes. Don't tell him that I told you that."

Jeno just laughs. "Alright, I'll pick you up. See you soon."

"Thanks, bye."

As soon as the plane lands, she can't contain her excitement. She immediately restarts her phone to refresh the service then texts Jeno.

To: The Unfunny Lee

Plane just landed, can't wait to see you!

She chuckles as she reads the name she saved for his contact number. They used to tease Jeno as the unfunny one before because he gets sulky and pouty right away.

From: The Unfunny Lee

I'm already here waiting for you. See you soon.

And did she ever mention that she's always had the attraction towards him. Jeno always made her feel like a woman. The way he smiles, the lingering stares, the way he talks, it's just different. He's so soft and could never resist her. That's why the attraction just builds up.

Soon enough she got out of the plane and already got her stuff done, she pushes the big baggage cart as she tries to look for Jeno.

She sees her phone ring and Jeno's face pops up on the screen. "Jeno-ya."

"You look smaller than the cart you're pushing." He teases and she immediately turns around to look for him.

"Where are you?" Y/N sees a familiar tall guy wearing black jeans and white pullover walking towards her with his phone on his ear. "Oh, there. Found you." She said and hung up the phone before running to give him a hug. She definitely feels his hard chest and strong arms wrapping around her.

He pats her and says, "Welcome back, shorty. You've grown but not the height." Laughing and pinching her cheek. "How are you? You haven't contacted me for so long." He goes to push her cart for her going out.

"Well, I'm doing good. Business is also good. I kinda distanced myself from you guys because I know you had girlfriends and we wouldn't want them to misunderstand, right?"

Jeno admiringly glances at her. She's always been so considerate and respectful. "Right. But how about you? Relationships?"

She snorts. "I could only wish."

"Why not?"

"They're not for me."

Jeno offered his place for her which she gladly accepted. She hasn't booked any hotel yet actually just because she was lowkey hoping that Jeno would just let her crash for a night before they depart early in the morning.

At night, Jeno, Jaemin, Y.N and Winter, Jaemin's fiance, just decided to meet up at Jeno's place. They ordered a lot of take-outs and bought a couple bottles of beer.

Y/N walks around Jeno's house while waiting for the two. It's just him and a security guard on the compound actually and it's pretty big. She stops by the pool, watching the reflection of the stars on the water.

"How's my place so far?" Jeno asks.

She nods. "Pretty cool. Can't believe it's just you living in a house this big."

"Well, it makes me feel good, you know. It makes me feel that I've succeeded and I can get whatever I want, well most of them."

"Why not all?"

He sighs and stares at her a little longer before saying, "Some are just too hard to reach."

She pretends like she didn't just feel hopeful for a second that she's who he's pertaining to. Jeno just received a text from Jaemin saying they're there already.

"They're here." He says.

"Let's go." They walk together back to the dining area. "You okay? I heard a lot, you know." She asks.

He just crosses his arms and shrugs. "I'm okay."

"I hope you know that it's okay to still be confused and unsure at this age we are in right now. There's really no need to rush, Jeno."

"I wish I could say that to my parents."

"I'll say that to your parents if you can't."

And she's always been strong-minded, and firm. She always knows what she's doing.

When they see Jaemin and Winter in the kitchen preparing the food they bought, Y/N runs to them and gives both a hug. "Hi! OMG, I'm finally seeing you both!"

Jaemin hugs her back. "How was the flight?"

"Tiring. I can't wait to pass out."

"Then just stay here for good so you don't have to fly back and forth."

Her lips purse as her eyes squints in doubt. "There's a lot to consider, not to mention the amount of work. But I've been thinking of it."

"Jeno-ya, talk to her about it. You're the one who knows more about business than me."

Jeno just sits on the table before them. "If she wants to stay, she'll stay."

She turns to him with a knowing smile. "You want me to stay?" But he just shrugs.

"When is this thick cloud of sexual tension between you two ever gonna end?" Jaemin shakes his head.

The night got deeper and it was time to go for Jaemin and Winter. They watched the two get in their car before they head in.

"You wanna watch a movie?" Jeno asks invitingly.

Y/N smiles and looks up to him. "With wine and chocolates?"

"Hell, yeah."

While Y/N picks the movie, Jeno goes to the kitchen to grab a bottle of wine and two glasses then he gathers different kinds of chocolates on a board and brings all of them to the center table in the living room.

She runs to her room and grabs her blanket then goes back to the couch with Jeno. She puts it over both of them and leans to him as the movie starts.

"Thought you were tired?" He asks with a low voice.

"I am." She replies. "I'm probably gonna sleep before the movie ends."

Just a few minutes in, silence filled the room. But it's a tense silence, it's like they're just waiting for each other to say something.

Jeno sighs. "Are you not gonna tell me why you stopped contacting me?"

"You know me, Jeno. I distanced myself from you and Jaem because you guys were already in your own relationships. I just don't want your girlfriends to misunderstand." She explains.

"Why would you lie?"

She turns to him. "What do you mean?"

"You never stopped your contact with Jaemin. I asked multiple times."

Busted. She knows she's busted. "Okay, fine. I stopped contacting you like 4 years ago? That was when you started that casual relationship you had even before Lia." She pauses trying to remember the name. "That girl, was that Karina? Because I knew you'd never see me like how you see her or any other girls in your life. I was so into you and you were too dumb and oblivious to notice. Maybe you were blinded by her or whatever but it doesn't matter anymore. I don't feel that way for you anymore." Her voice shakes at her last statement. That's a lie.

His jaw clenches. "Why didn't you tell me? Everyone fucking knew that I had a thing for you. I was just waiting for you to tell me that you wanted me too."

"I-- I thought that was a joke! You never made it clear, you always smiled or laughed whenever someone mentions it, how am I supposed to know?! You were always flirty with everyone."

"It was true. I was only into you and I only started seeing Karina when you stopped replying or answering my calls."

Her breathing is ragged. She doesn't know what to do, and she's very upset. Why didn't he tell her before? "Whatever."

"Can you feel that it's still you though?" He asks all of a sudden.

But Y/N shakes her head. "It's not that simple anymore, Jeno. I've got someone waiting for my answer in Chicago, I agreed for this vacation because I needed space. I needed time to think."

Jeno couldn't get past the part where she said she has someone waiting for her answer in Chicago. Is he too late? "Y--You have a boyfriend?"

Y/N sighs. "Let's stop talking about this."

They stopped talking but Jeno can't stop thinking about it. He suddenly got so nervous, what if her boyfriend is already proposing to her? What if she says yes? He always thought that his endgame would be her because he honestly can't imagine life with a family without her. Jeno fills his glass with wine and drinks all of it at once.

She slept in his arms, and he just watched her unsure of what to do. He was not able to focus on the movie, all he thought about was her and the missed opportunities. He could've had her without a doubt. He could've.

"Fuck my life." He murmured before picking her up bridal style to bring her to her room. He didn't want to close the door but he had to.

Y/N wears a pair of denim shorts and her dark blue bikini top while Jeno wears white muscle tanks and board shorts. A van comes to pick them up early in the morning, Jaemin is already there.

"Hi!" Y/N greets him excitedly when she enters the vehicle and he fist bumps with Jeno.

They had to travel for 2 hours going to the dock because they had to stop to get groceries and it just felt like minutes because they were just talking and jamming the whole time.

Jeno set his feelings aside because he knew the two set this up for him.

They then ride a speedboat going to the island and it just took them like 10 minutes to get there. Their guide did his job, walking them around, guiding and telling them about some things and guidelines about the island that they have to know.

It's a good thing that they did their shopping because it's literally just them on the island but of course, they can still call if they need something.

"Hey!" Y/N calls the two from the beach. "Let's swim! The water is so pretty! I wanna cry! Ahhh! Ya! Na Jaemin! Lee Jeno!"

The two were arranging their things inside the villa but just laughed, so done while looking at each other when they heard her yell. When they came out, she's already climbing the rocks because there's a big slide on it going to the waters.

"Hey, be careful." Jeno calls out to her.

"Don't worry." She yells at him. Then sat on the edge of the slide, sliding her way down, screaming and waving her hands up high. She splashed on the waters and she's never felt so alive. "Oh my god, what are you two doing, just standing there?!"

Jaemin runs to the waters right away while Jeno took off his shirt first, exposing his let me just say fucking gorgeous, unbelievably hot body that made Y/N look away and blush. But of course they didn't notice.

They just float on their backs for several minutes as they talk and watch the clear skies.

"Can we buy this island so that we can just come here whenever we want?" Y/N jokes.

The sun is setting, they're also preparing for their outdoor barbeque. Y/N is inside, preparing the meats, Jaemin is preparing the fire while Jeno is digging the sand to form a round table and seats for them.

Jeno eventually goes into the kitchen where Y/N is. "You good?"

"Yeah, can you put iced water on the cooler then add the bottle of beer so it'll cool?"

"We have ice?"

"There's a big freezer at the back, they have a lot here."

When Jeno came back he was in a hurry. "Y/N! Y/n, the sky outside is really beautiful because of the sunset, wanna see?"

"Yeah." She immediately washes her hands on the sink before wiping it on her apron. "Lemme grab my phone and camera first."

"Jaemin-ah! We're going to the other side to watch the sunset! Let's go!" Jeno yells at his other friend.

"Yup, coming!"

Y/N sets up her tripod and they take a couple of shots together. "Let's stay for a few minutes." She sits on the sand and the two follow.

"We don't see this everyday." Jaemin says.

"We could." Jeno rebels. "But we're too busy."

Night came, they're a little tipsy, cheeks flushed and they're laughing their asses off as they eat and cook at the same time because of Jaemin's antics.

"We've always been a trio." He says. "Jeno plays the guitar, you sing, and I dance."

"A trio with different talents."

"Yeah, so while you both are doing your things, I just dance beside you. Even interpretative dance if needed." He flares his hands out mimicking a ballerina.

"Remember when we signed up for the homecoming party committee just so we can get free food?" Jeno looks back, laughing. "Y/N ate a lot."

Y/N slaps his bare arm. "Ya! It's not like you didn't. It's not my fault they had so much food."

"And during graduation practice, do you remember? Y/N fell--" Jaemin couldn't continue what he's saying because Y/N tackles him.

"Shut up!" Trying to cover his mouth. "Don't talk about that."

"You rolled down the stairs." Jeno continues while laughing. "Good thing it was just us."

"We just finished lunch and they kept texting us saying the practice had already started. We were in a hurry!" She tries to defend herself.

"It was so funny but we didn't have time to laugh enough."

Later on, Jeno's playing the guitar and they're singing to old songs that they used to play together. He looks at her fondly as she tries to reach the high note and does it flawlessly.

"You've gotten so good." He says and she just smiles in response.

It's past midnight, Jeno and Y/N are cleaning up because Jaemin passed out. His alcohol tolerance really decreased after a long time since he hasn't drank a lot.

"Jeno-ya." Y/N calls Jeno from outside.

He goes out to her. "Hmm?"

"How about Jaemin?"

"I'll help him through the stairs later." He reassures her. "How about you, are you good?"

"Yup, pretty good. Happy. Sleepy."

"Don't forget to change, brush your teeth, wash off the sea water."

She nods. "Yeah, I'll do that right now."

When she was done in the bathroom, she went upstairs to their shared bedroom. It's a big room with a big customized bed for an entire family, it can fit up to 6 people. Jaemin is already sleeping on it while Jeno is on his phone, waiting for her to finish so he could use the bathroom too.

"I'm done, Jen."

He looks up cutely like a puppy, obviously looks sleepy already. He goes downstairs with his things. Later on, when he comes back, Y/N and Jaemin are on each side of the bed which means he has to be in the center. He crawls in slowly, Y/N turns to look at him.

"I thought you were sleeping already." He whisper-yells.

She whispers back to him, "You look like a puppy."

"What does that mean?"

"You look cute." She notices that he's so far from her. Not that she minds, the bed is big so they get to sleep however they want but he's really far. "Why are you so far away? Wouldn't Winter be jealous to see you too close to Jaemin?" She jokes.

He just shrugs. "If we're close together, I may not stop myself from cuddling with you."

"I wanna cuddle with you though." She pouts.

"Stop that." He says authoritatively.

She whines, "Why?"

"You said you have a boyfriend."

Her eyebrows furrow. "I never said that."

"Yesterday, you said you have someone in Chicago waiting for your answer."

Y/N laughs. "Idiot. He's just a casual partner, just like how you and Karina were." Indirectly explaining that they're fuckbuddies. "He said he's developing feelings for me, I can't reciprocate that."

And suddenly his chest loosens up. He was able to breathe a little better now. "Casual partners? For how long?"

"Two years. I have needs too, Jeno Lee."

"Well, you made it sound like he's proposing to you so that's why I thought about it."

"Stop talking and just cuddle with me." His warmth hovers over her and she smiled when she felt his arm scoop her close to him. "You've been waiting for this, haven't you?" She mumbles and she snuggles as well.

Jeno buries his head on her neck. "Since fucking high school."

"Stop lying."

But he tickles her tummy lightly making her giggle and squirm. Jaemin who was sleeping mumbles, "Can you two fuck somewhere else? I want to sleep."

"Ya! We're just talking!" Y/N immediately defends.

"He's asleep, he doesn't know what he's saying." Jeno whispers, holding her down. "Sleep, Aya."

Her eyes beamed. He's never called her that ever since she left for Chicago. She turns around to see him with excitement on her face. "You're calling me Aya again." She mentions.

Jeno looks down at her sparkling eyes, holding the urge to kiss her forehead. "You've always been my ligaya."

"You keep saying those things but you actually had other girls before me."

"Remember during college, I don't ever allow you to enter my room."

"Yes, because you hid your drugs there?" She grumpily whines but he just smiled.

"I never wanted you in my room because when I saw you once sitting on the edge of my bed like an innocent girl, I almost couldn't stop myself." He groaned in her ear that gave her goosebumps. "Seeing you in my bed, fuck I'd die for that."

She nibbles on her lip as her eyes widen. "I'll sleep." Then she turns her back on him, now feeling his hard on against her ass.

"Yeah."

Jaemin was the one to wake up first, he sees the two spooning and quickly snaps a pic and sends it to their own group chat before he leaves the room and goes to the kitchen to make breakfast.

Jeno was the first one to wake up, he just let his arm drape around her, hugging her like a pillow. And just minutes later, she wakes up too.

"Do you like that guy from Chicago?" He asks half-asleep.

Y/N rubs her eyes and looks at him with squinted eyes to make sure he's not sleep talking only to find out that the man beside her is topless.

Then sighs. "I can't. I could never imagine myself being his girlfriend, but I am just scared to reject him. We've been in that kind of casual, non-committal relationship for a long time and he's always there when I need him."

"Good."

She chuckles. "Why?"

"You said you have needs, right?" He whispers. "I'm pretty sure I can satisfy you better than anyone else."

"You can talk the talk but can you walk the walk?" Jeno didn't say anything. He just stood up and went to lock the door. "I was just kidding." She laughs and stands up immediately but he grabs her before she could run away.

He held her with both her arms tightly, planting feathery kisses on her jaw. "You smell so good, baby." Then his kisses go down to her neck and she just wants to melt into a puddle.

She just loves how his warmth wraps around her. "Jaemin might come."

"You'll tell him." Jeno picks her up and traps her against the wall as their lips crash with each other, turning and twisting their tongues together. His kisses then left her mouth, to her cheeks, then to her ear. "I'm gonna satisfy the fuck out of your needs, baby." She feels the smirk on his face that gives her chills.

Then he brings her to the bed. She takes off her top revealing her perked up mounds. Y/N looks up to him, batting her eyelashes like an innocent girl and it drives him crazy. His neck is all red, he's so ready to ruin her but just holding himself back. She slowly removes her pajama shorts and cotton thongs as well. Y/N lays back with her arms supporting her weight while not breaking their eye contact. "All yours, Lee."

He could've sworn his cock throbbed after hearing that. Jeno's jaw twitched a little as he ran his fingers through his locks. "Good." He replies then grabs her ankle pushing her to turn and now she's on her back, ass up. Jeno is getting the best view of her ass and glistening pussy. His hand caresses her inner thigh for a few seconds before redirecting his fingers to her very wet core making her squirm and whimper in pleasure.

Rubbing circles, now she's helpless. He feels how needy she is because he hasn't even done anything aside from rubbing her and now she's looking so fucked out and a moaning mess for him, rubbing herself against his fingers too. "I-- I need y--your fingers. Please. Jeno. Please." He can't help but lick his bottom lip, he just wants to devour her right now, he wants to own her, he wants to be in her, he wants to feel her, he wants to be the only one who can make her feel this way.

"As you wish, love." He inserts two fingers, pumping it fast in her and she's moaning uncontrollably. "Shh. Jaemin might hear." Y/N tries to bite her bottom lip to suppress the moans. She pulls her own hair and massages her tits.

Jaemin goes up the stairs, trying the door knob a couple of times but it's locked. "Jeno-ya, Y/N, breakfast is ready."

"Answer him." He growls on to her ears without stopping his fingers from fucking her. Y/N's eyes widen, Jaemin will know for sure. But he stops. "I said, answer him."

"Jae--" His cock suddenly slips into her, making her moan and Jaemin definitely heard it. "Jaem, I-- we-- you can eat ahead!" Then she dunks her face on to the soft pillows biting them hard.  "Jeno, please." Consecutive moans came out from her lips and that was Jaemin's cue to leave.

"You're so fucking warm, Aya." He pulls her hair hard, making her lookup as he pounds hard into her. "No one will ever satisfy you the way that I do. Not even your Chicago boy."

It was too much for her, he was relentless and powerful. All the sexual frustrations that were pent up for years are finally revealed. And he's literally tearing her in half with his size.

"I've been imagining this day, me drilling into your dripping pussy and it's even better than what I have imagined."

She couldn't respond or say anything, she likes how he's fucking her dumb.

"Jen, cumming. I'm cumming." She pants, grasping into the sheets tighter while he rubs her clit with his free hand.

"Not until I cum. Fuck--- Aya, you're so fucking gorgeous."

"Please. Please. Please. Fill me up, daddy. I need you to fill me up." It's like Jeno got possessed with some kind of devil, he's pounding into her harder than before like she pushed a button.

"I'm gonna fuck you full of my cum. Let go, babygirl." Strings of white liquid spurts out from his tip in her as her orgasm also washes through her. And when he pulled out, white liquid came flowing out of her pussy. "Next time I'm buying you a plug."

Y/N drops to the bed, tired and weak. Her cheeks are flushed, sweating and breathless, just like how Jeno imagined and it gave him an assurance that he definitely fucked her real good.

Jeno plops on the bed beside her, she smiles weakly at him, covering her body with the sheets. They stay looking at each other's eyes.

"Stay." He mumbles. "I want you to stay. I don't want to keep missing you." She feels her heart inflating and her stomach being filled with butterflies. The fact that he's being vocal about this right now and not just staying quiet like how he usually is when it comes to his feelings. "But if you don't want t--"

"I'll do everything I can so I can stay." She cuts him off. "You're gonna be mine this time." She promises.

Jeno smiles and pulls himself close to her then plants a kiss on her forehead. "I'm all yours, Aya. You know how obsessed I am with you, I'm going nowhere without you."

"Jaemin is never talking to us again."

"He'll just need a night with Winter."

[titanicfreija]

Talents

"Do they awaken knowing how to use their Light?"

"Kiiiiind of? Most wake up with some awareness of it, all of them are naturally stronger and faster than normal humans, but things like Freija's accidental barricade are unusual. From what I heard, before I found Freija, what I expected, was a slow growth from finding her Light and growing it into something she could learn to manipulate. That's what I understood to be normal."

"You sound annoyed. You are normally quite proud of this."

"Oh I'm proud. It really does just irritate me. And it goes back to something you said, where she's strong enough to get into real trouble before it catches up to her. She woke up knowing her barricade, she woke up knowing her grenades and her sunspots. I did have to teach her the hammer, she preferred keeping it in her fists. She still does."

"So your understanding of the typical experience was that a Guardian would begin with… you may use your Freija as an example. What did you expect her to do?"

"Well. Going by what she does now, I expected something like… oh, her thing where she heats up, I expected that to be where it started. And then I figured maybe her fiery punch, because that makes sense, to collect into your hands and push it into something else. I did expect the hammer to be hard, she did struggle with that like I expected, but her grenades only took a day to learn and two to master. And three to pick her favorite one. She's never used anything else."

"I believe I have borne witness. Waves of fire will burst forth over a short time. She frequently throws it at her feet as she leaps away. I have seen many burn at her touch. How do you believe it would manifest in others? The void and arc?"

"Oh, things like, causing sparks to jump or minor shocks for arc that grows into a thrown bolt that grows into a ball lightning. Void would probably start with…. I don't know. I'll have to ask someone else. I think Three? Our Hunter roommate."

"For some reason, I assumed you would board with your fireteam."

"Sometimes. Usually, in fact. But there's also a lot of cases where the Guardians will start with their fireteam and filter off or fight and split up, or will be a pair with a third assigned to theirs. Thomas had his first, Three got assigned to it, and he's apparently had third singles come and go over the years as they join found fireteams.

"There's also at least a few barracks that are occupied in name only, marked as belonging to people who are never there, are MIA, and a couple that got turned into shrines for the dead. Though at one point, there were so many of those that they had to create a memorial and open them back up."

"Interesting. I had not previously considered the living situation."

"General communal living space, pods with apartments in the barracks inside the walls. The lowest floors…. I'll have to show you at some point, a layout."

"Hmph."

"We've got a kitchen in ours, and a wash room. The kitchen is Thomas's work, half scrap and half cryptarch commissions. The washroom has a shower in it, but he said he had to get a few permits to put it and the water heater in. Freija's been tinkering with the kitchen little by little."

"Hmph. Do they use their Light in small ways around their homes? I have always wondered."

"Sometimes. Freija's learning how to use her hand as a burner as a way to focus her energy when she can't focus her mind. Thomas struggles with his Light, so he doesn't. I've seen more than a few people spot-weld, pull things from across the room. Things like that."

"Interesting."

@wolvereaux @annieruok94

[glassbxttless]

Anything with Maurizio

Her Love is my Religion

Maurizio Gucci x f!Reader

summary: Even after four years of marriage, Maurizio still loves you like it’s Day One.

word count: 1.0k+

warnings: 18+ (no sexual themes, but i DO NOT want minors interacting with my content in any capacity), this is a short one! just fluff, alcohol mention

He can see you from across the room, that dress that dips so low— shows just the perfect amount of skin. Your hair is perfectly in place, a wine glass in your hand. You’ve got the prettiest smile on your face, legs crossed at the ankle. You’re speaking to his mother. He orders himself another drink, eyes drifting from the woman he loves to the hoard of men— including his father— sitting at a table a few paces to the left. One day he’ll be at that table, discussing the future of Gucci. But for now, he stands at the bar. He admires his wife from afar. Thinks he couldn’t possibly have gotten this lucky. Like all of the stars aligned just for him.

He thanks the bartender, pushing himself off of the counter. He smoothed his jacket just a bit, hand curled around his glass as he walked over to where you stand. His free arm curls around your waist, head dipping down to press a kiss against your temple. His mother smiles warmly, hand pressed against her chest. “Mio figlio.” She sighs happily, her heart bursting. She’s so proud of where Maurizio is in his life. Of how happy he is with you on his arm. She takes a moment to admire the protective hold he has on you, before she’s looking over for her own husband— excusing herself quietly.

Maurizio smiles, giving your hip a squeeze. “Let’s head out, mia piccola colomba.” He’s tipping your chin up, making you look him in the eye before he’s kissing you. He’s not got a care in the world as he does. Doesn’t pay any mind that there are people around or the fact that you’re at an event. The way your dress hugs your body in all of his favorite places reminds him of your wedding. It reminds him of your bodies pressed close, his hands on your hips and your head on his chest as you swayed to the live music his mother insisted on for your reception. The gleam of your ring under the flashing light reminds him of that night— laying you down in the bed you’ve shared for four years now, how the lamp shone directly onto the gold, letting him know you were officially a Gucci. His wife.

You pull away from his kiss, pressing a hand against his chest with a smile. “lead the way.” you tell him, eager to slip away from the conversations you’ve had to be keeping up on. His hand, large and heavy, wraps around yours. He can feel your fingers twist and tangle into his, something you’ve always done. Ever since that fateful meeting. You’d hold his hand so tightly, let him know you weren’t going anywhere. He brings your hand to his lips as he places both his glass and yours down on an empty tray. He kisses your skin gently, using his free hand to push the door open. His mother and father spot your departure and he just gives them a subtle wave. He’s getting the night with his wife whether anyone likes it or not.

It’s not a long walk, back to your apartment. But Maurizio slips his jacket off and wraps it around your shoulders just as he had so many times before. Your heels are the next thing to leave and he reaches for them, holding them in the opposite hand he’s holding yours in. “Have fun tonight?” he asks softly.

And the truth was, yes. You did have a nice time, believe it or not. You watched Maurizio mingle with those he hasn’t seen in years. Watched him light up because of jokes, smile at ideas he hadn’t thought of, and get praised by others. You watched deep blushes set in on his cheeks at times, you saw him even hug his father. “Yeah, I had a nice time.” You admit, savoring the details for yourself. He doesn’t need to know just how closely you have been watching him tonight, he might as well have an idea already with how closely he was watching you. “We should do it again sometime.” That causes a laugh to rumble out of Maurizio’s chest. “Oh, come on Mau. It wasn’t that bad!” You laugh at yourself. Maurizio had never enjoyed these kinds of things.

Maurizio makes quick work of letting you into your home, flipping the first light switch by the door. “Let’s take a bath?” He suggests. You watch as he disappears into the bedroom off the hall, untying his tie. The ruffling of clothes followed by the sound of the tub in the master bathroom filling up. There’s a large garden tub in there, fortunately big enough for you and Maurizio. And maybe that’s exactly how Mau loves to unwind after these kinds of things. Loves soaking in the hot water, relieving all the tension in his sore muscles— as he holds you close and thanks the moon for bringing you to him.

You’re quick to discard the jacket from your shoulders, leaving it in a messy pile of fabric at the end of your sofa. When you enter your bedroom, the master bathroom door is open wide and you can see Maurizio bent over the side of the tub to adjust the temperature of the water. You let your dress fall from your body. It again, forms a small pile at the end of your bed, just as the jacket had. You smile lovingly, Maurizio has a heart of gold. Just for you. Your underwear forms another small pile at the entrance of the bathroom, your arms wrapping around his waist from behind. His hand covers where yours are locked in place and he smiles, letting you lean against his back. He loves these moments with you more than anything, the ones he can just relax into and not have to worry about the world around you. He stands up straight once the bath has settled in fully, bubbles climbing up the sides of the tub. He’s turning, pulling you into his arms. He smiles down at you, glasses still perched high on your nose. “Four years of loving you and my feelings have never changed.”

You can feel yourself growing hot, unsure if it’s from Maurizio sharing his sentiments or just how exposed you are in front of him while he’s standing in his boxers and t-shirt. His arms tighten his grip around your waist and you sigh lovingly, leaning into his chest. “Mine have never changed either, amore.”

tags ;; @peachyproserpina @eeopxlt

[hello-there-world]

so. thought about the MCI's families in the Rewrite. so have my fun headcanons!

Naomi's Family:

hardworking upper-middle class family.

her parents work a lot, so they seem rather distant. they do love their daughters, though.

Susie and Samantha are her younger sisters. Samantha was born a couple of years after Naomi died, though.

they kept promising to get Naomi a dog, but kept putting it off due to not having much time. they were, however, planning to get Naomi a dog before school started back up.

her parents didn't talk about her too often after she died, mostly because it was a sore subject for them.

they did get Susie and Samantha a dog, though! a golden retriever :]

if the girls ever went somewhere without their parents post-MCI, they'd usually make sure that Susie and Sam stayed together. a bit annoying for Susie, but she didn't mind too much.

the girls didn't learn about Naomi and what happened to her until sometime in the mid-90s to early 2000's. they barely even knew she existed.

i mean...technically they met her ghost in the Fnaf 2 location...but still. they didn't know who she was, much less that she was their sister.

Gabrielle/"Gabi's" Family:

not...the wealthiest. they're getting by just fine, but they don't have a lot of extra income or anything.

her mother is Mexican and her father is black. they had gotten together sometime in college, and they had twins first. several years later, they had Gabi.

alongside the twins (Mia and Martin, who were around 14-15 when Gabi was murdered), Gabi has a baby brother (Leo) who was around 4 when she died.

most of Gabi's more feminine clothing came from Mia as hand-me-downs.

the Franklin-Martinez family were close to the Aftons because of how close Gabi and Liz were.

they tried to tell William "hey, uh we think two of your sons might (cough definitely) have severe anxiety issues, and maybe getting them medicated for that?? would be good actually?? i mean, we did it for Gabi, and while nothing's perfect, it's made a drastic difference in her life, so maybe it'll help Mike and Cass??" and William went "Nah, I think they're fine, but I appreciate the concern 😊"

so yeah, Rewrite Fun Fact: Gabi had anxiety meds. it's one of the reasons she gets along with Cass so well (both have horrible anxiety).

they were fucking devastated when Gabi disappeared. on her birthday no less.

the family never really recovered from it. when Martin finally had a family of his own, he named his daughter after her.

final fun fact: Mia and Martin were some of Alex's classmates, but they kinda. Fucking Hated him. understandable. they only tolerated him for three reasons: 1) for Liz and Gabi's sakes, 2) he's one of the few people that didn't deadname/misgender Gabi, and 3) They Aren't Getting On The Bad Side Of The Afton Family. They Just Ain't.

Baker (+ Jeremy)'s Family:

pretty well off! not exactly middle class, but not really struggling, either.

both Jeremy and Baker are AuDHD, but...to put it one way, it was much more obvious with Baker.

their parents were very loving, even if their dad had to work a lot.

Jeremy and Baker were really close, despite how far apart they were in age (Jeremy being in middle school and Baker not even starting kindergarten yet).

since Jere's mom had asked him to look after Baker due to the disappearances of Naomi and Gabi the day before, Jeremy blames himself for Baker going missing. he'd been playing in the arcade and told Baker to stay in the area in front of the stage and to not follow any strangers (unfortunately, "O'Hare" didn't count as a "stranger" to Baker). his parents, however, don't blame Jere for what happened.

Jeremy is of course our good old boy Mr. Fitzgerald, so...he has a Lot of plot things that i can't put here because then it'll be LONG, but have a few: Fnaf 2 Main Guard, Bite of '87 Victim, Beloved Husband of one Michael Afton, Father of two lovely boys (Cameron and Gregory), you get the gist.

Jeremy struggled with the guilt of what happened his whole life. i'd say he made peace with it around Pizzeria Sim, though.

Felix's Family:

he and his Dad...they're doing their best!

Felix's mom left when he was young. he's doing fine, though! (...kinda)

he and his dad are both Irish. he uses the accent to make his "pirate accent" sound more accurate.

Fritz drank a lot, but he was never abusive. he loved his son dearly, and he was trying his absolute best. sometimes, though, that...wasn't really enough for Felix (mostly because it meant Fritz was never there as much as Felix would've liked).

their relationship was a bit...strained. but they still loved each other.

Fritz actually witnessed Felix being taken and tried to go after him and William, but there were too many kids in the place, and he couldn't get around them in time.

(he knows it was William. there's no way in hell it wasn't. it doesn't matter if he claims to have an alibi, or if he claims that someone else could've fit in a suit that size using stilts; it's all bullshit. as far as Fritz cares, the bastard can rot.)

so...yeah. Fritz Smith and William fucking hate each other.

Kelsey (+ Andrew)'s Family:

uh...not doing so hot in the money department.

their parents are divorced, but they live with their dad (because their mom wanted to make some more money before she tried taking the kids).

their dad Fucking Sucks. physically abusive to Andy, verbally abusive to both, and he throws his empty beer bottles at either one of them.

Kelsey was technically "the favorite," but...that ain't saying much. it's pretty much code for "Mr. Schmidt tolerates this kid more than the other one."

Andrew stayed over at the Afton Household pretty often due to this. the longest he stayed over there for any prolonged period of time was for like. a month.

due to the concerns over the other missing children, and Mr. Schmidt wanting to at least pretend he was a good father, he pretty much sprung Babysitting Duty onto Andrew last minute. Andy wanted to go help comfort Jeremy after Baker's disappearance, but since Kelsey wanted to go spend time at Fredbear's, their dad forced him to take him to Fredbear's.

in Andrew's eyes, it wasn't fair. this always happened; he'd make plans, clearly state those plans, and then his dad would just! fuck them up last minute!

besides...it's not like anyone had gone missing at Fredbear's. only Freddy's. why would the killer suddenly switch it up?

so, they leave. Kelsey stays behind, drawing at one of the tables. he promises to draw a picture for Andrew when he gets back.

he was only gone for a couple of hours.

they were only gone for a couple of hours.

they find Kelsey's sketchbook and crayons, the promised drawing being on the open page. Andrew searched the diner top to bottom...nothing. Kelsey fucking vanished.

their father blamed them for what happened to Kelsey. he was supposed to watch him, after all.

and Andy internalized it. it was his fault. he blamed himself for it hard.

(Kelsey never did, though)

Andrew also inherited the alcoholism issues. so. Fun (sarcasm).

Mr. Schmidt tried to eventually reconcile with Andy later on, but...well, Andy was hesitant to fully let him back into their life after all of that (which included some homophobia and transphobia. Andrew is a demiboy and aroace, for context). but Andy was willing to give him that second chance.

Andy eventually gets better and starts going to therapy. good for them <3

Andy also lives with Mike and Jeremy and the kids. just thought i'd mention that. :]

anyway, my beloveds <3

Oh, god. The families are suffering. Poor Andrew, too. It's not his fault. Andy couldn't have saved him...

[todayisawthewhxlewxrld]

Someone anyone pls. My boyfriend has unfortunately had his phone broken so I haven't been talking with him, and I feel so lonely 😞 Also ALL OF MY FRIENDS LIVES ARE CRUMBLING APART?? My friend just broke up with her boyfriend, because of her mental health, but I suspect that it might be because of the boy she's been flirting with on the side. My other friends sibling is breaking up with their douche of a man, thank goodness. Two OTHER friends, who are literally bestfriend and have been for years, have been fighting eith eachother amd separating from our little group?? Also my dads been talking about death and I find myself looking at baby pictures of me and him with my grandma and great grandma, crying about thinkinf that I'm gonna be the only one alive in that picture some day. It also dawned on me that he's like the only person that I KNOW I'll have until we perish. We were watching mamma mia, and the whole time I kept thinking that I wished my mom loved me like Donna loved her daughter, and mentioned how I'd like to move into a little island or something. I guess my dad saw me holding back tears during the "slipping through my fingers" song, because he told me we could move to Alaska just he and I. (That's his dream place) PLEASE IM SOBBING THINKING ABT THE FACT HES NEVER BEEN.

Anyways, it made me think of my goal in life, and its to someday bring my dad to Alaska with me. Regardless if hes with me, just inside an urn. (I'm being so dead serious, I love my dad even if I went through some shit for most of my childhood. He's like the only person in my life who has stepped up, and made an actual change in his behavior for MY sake. It's admirable, and I've always been my fathers daughter. I'm just more proud to say it now after everything hes been through, and the changes hes gone through for my well being.)

I apologize about the rant, I fear that I've been holding that within me for so long. My friends don't really care about my personal life, and sometimes I'm glad that I keep it that way. ANYWAYS.

I realize that I haven't been in your asks, but I did follow through with that strike. Stayed off my phone unless it was to check about the updates for Palestine, and reposting. Didn't buy groceries, I even stopped going to classes for the time being. I'm sad to know that it's not getting any better, and I'm ashamed to say that my little town has very little businesses that DON'T support Israel. So I can't really avoid buying things from those places :(

Been keeping up with your writing though, for the most part. I'm very sad that it will come to an end, but I'm excited to see the ending. I'm ALSO EXCITED FOR INUMAKI 😻😻😻😻😻

Anyways, gonna go shower because I feel like a dirty corndog that was dropped at a fair. Wish me luck that I don't run out of warmish water, I always seem to do so because my hair is so hard to manage and I have like 10 different products that I have to put in it. (I'm being dramatic, I usually sit and let it do it's thing while I sing the weekend and deftones. 😞)

GOODNIGHT STAY WARM!!!!

Xoxo 👽

don’t wanna be mean but i’m glad ur bf broke his phone 😊 BUT JESUS WHY R ALL UR FRIENDS LIVES SIMULTANEOUSLY IN SHAMBLES ??? LIKE WHAT IS GOING ON HERE ???😭😭 that’s crazy… hopefully the two that have been friends for years figure their stuff out…

mamma mia will get u… it always will… (i’ve never seen it) BUT HE SAID U COULD MOVE TO ALASKA JUST U N HIM STOP IM SOBBING OH MY GOD??? that sounds like a very good life goal bae!! i’m sure he’d love that whether he’s actually with u or in an urn like u said!! and i’m super glad you have him and that he stepped out to make a change in himself for u i love that for u bae :( DONT APOLOGIZE FOR THE RANT ITS OKAY I DONT MIND !!

u haven’t but it’s okay!! i know you’ll pop up eventually LMFAO and yay for following through with the strike!! i really hope a lot of other people did as well.

YAY SO GLAD YOUVE BEEN KEEPING UP WITH MY WRITING N ARE EXCITED BAE🤞🤞🤞

A DIRTY CORNDOG THAT WAS DROPPED AT A FAIR HELEOEMEME LMFOAOA ENJOY UR SHOWER!! (whats ur favorite the weekend and deftones song…)

[bagelbun333]

Writing WIP

I've never done this before but thanks for the tag @tanaleth

Idk who to tag but anyone can feel free to join in ^-^

I happened to have this Wrightdot fic WIP that’s just been collecting dust for more than a year, so I might as well use this as an opportunity to share what I have so far c:

Major spoilers for aa3, minor spoilers for aa4, aa5, and aa6.

For context, this takes place after aa6.

Diego Armando is a man who had far from an ordinary life. From being poisoned in a courthouse cafeteria, to being comatose, to waking up alone, to taking a life of another person, then to rotting in jail… alone. But his life didn’t end there — no, far from it. His sentence was lessened down to 10 years due to his circumstances. But that’s not to say it wasn’t a long time, it’s still a whole decade out of his life after all. Five years in a coma and ten years in prison, a third of his life just… gone.

He was a broken shell of the man he used to be — he still is to be honest — but there was one man who saved him, a certain spiky headed idiot, who goes by the name of Phoenix Wright. He’s the one who put him in prison in the first place, but that didn’t matter to him. Phoenix saved him from further descending into madness, into Hell. Even though he still killed a person, he deserved to be saved. He had to be saved from the vengeful persona that was ‘Godot’, because he wasn’t the man that he truly was — Godot was an inner demon that was slowly but surely taking over his mind and body, something that Mia would’ve hated to see.

Once his prison sentence was finally over, he actually had someone waiting for him… several people in fact. More than he ever had in his life. Some people he recognised and others he had never even seen before. Of course, there was Phoenix, Maya and Pearl… but who was the little magician, the horn headed boy and the futuristic space girl? Turns out, they were Phoenix’s subordinates and family. It was strange to be welcomed back with open arms. He never thought he would have anyone waiting for him ever again, especially not after that unforgettable crime he’d committed.

He eventually settled into the Wright Anything Agency as an assistant — and with Phoenix and Edgeworth pulling a few strings, he was actually allowed to be a prosecutor again. If Blackquill was allowed to prosecute while serving his sentence, so could he. Phoenix even let Diego live in the same house with him, because he had nowhere else to go.

After months of taking cases, Diego was slowly getting his swing back. He often took cases against his colleagues — including Phoenix himself. Diego was so good at handling cases that he even gave Phoenix a hard time, he was a tough guy to beat. Even though they’re not enemies anymore, Diego still loved making Phoenix fall apart like a house of cards — but not in a vengeful way, more like in a playful way. He was happy that he still had that fire in him and could still embarrass Phoenix in a tease.

His new life wasn’t 100% perfect though, he still has his drawbacks. His health was far from stable. He still relies on his visor for vision of course. Not only that, but he needs to take a concerning amount of medicine every day. Medicine such as blood pressure control, cardiac pills, pain relief, antidepressants, and anti hallucination pills — his hallucinations worsened during his time in prison. Only Phoenix knows about the amount of medicine he needs to take, and it does concern him quite a bit. Diego doesn’t want anybody else to know about it so Phoenix promised to keep quiet. Maya and Pearl already know about his broken down body because of the poisoning incident and why he had to wear a mask, but they didn’t know the extent of how bad his health actually was — especially not his hallucination problems.

He also has a lot of trouble remembering things sometimes. Like random memory lapses that just hit him out of nowhere. Most of the time they aren’t too bad, like sometimes he just loses his train of thought. But other times he forgets too much. Trucy witnesses this at home every now and then. She notices Diego stressing out, forgetting where he puts things, and even forgetting things that happened five minutes prior. Sometimes Trucy would ask her dad about it. “What’s wrong with him? Is he okay?” She would ask, but Phoenix could only respond with “We all have days like these, it happens…” then later he said “It’s a long story…” Trucy was just left confused and a little worried, but she decided not to question it further.

While living with Phoenix and his daughter, Diego felt like he was part of a new family. It felt like he belonged somewhere. When he first found out that Phoenix had a daughter, he couldn’t believe it. He was so shocked. People younger than himself were already moving on with life much faster than he was. Everyone else was moving forward while he was just frozen in time. He was like a human artefact, for everyone to gawk at. It made him feel much more inferior to everyone else.

But even so, Trucy treated Diego as if he were her other dad, she even started calling him Papa. This wasn’t a position that he thought he would ever experience, but he greatly appreciated it nonetheless. Trucy loves showing Diego her magic tricks. He was genuinely entertained each time he watched, although he was very confused and concerned when she first showed him her magic panties — he wondered if Phoenix raised her right.

Eventually, one day, during a trial… a scary and unforgettable event took place. Phoenix and Diego were working on a case against each other. Diego had the upper hand on this case as usual, he was making compelling arguments and had hard evidence… but something unexpected happened while he was in the middle of explaining something.

The judge banged his gavel. “Prosecutor Armando, please explain to the court the significance of this evidence.”

“The footprints left at the crime scene only belonged to the defendant and the victim. There were no other traces found at the-” Suddenly Diego went completely out of it and lost his train of thought. He stared blankly at his desk for a solid minute until someone snapped him out of his thoughts.

“Prosecutor Armando? Your evidence?” The Judge asked with a confused expression on his face.

Phoenix looked across at him and immediately knew that something was wrong. Diego was clearly becoming more and more stressed. “Your Honour! I humbly request for a recess! Just for ten minutes. I think… he needs a quick break.”

The Judge nodded. “Very well. The court will now take a ten minute recess.” He banged his gavel.

Diego sat in the prosecutor’s lobby, still clearly out of it. Phoenix and Trucy decided to check up on him while they had the time. Phoenix sat next to him on the sofa. “Hey, are you alright?” He asked, holding his hand.

Diego was rapidly losing his memory. He was so confused when Phoenix sat so close to him. In his head he thought “Why… why is he sitting so close to me?” Then when he suddenly felt Phoenix’s hand on his own, he flinched and hissed at him aggressively. “Don’t fucking touch me, Trite!”

Phoenix gasped at his sudden bitter remark. He covered Trucy’s ears because his fatherly instincts told him to. “Diego… what’s wrong? Why are you acting like this?”

“H-How…?”

“Huh?”

“How do you know my name…?”

Phoenix looked heavily concerned. “W-What?”

“I never told you about- Why do you know this??”

“Arman- Godot! Calm down…”

Trucy moved Phoenix’s hands away from her ears. “Daddy? Papa? Is everything alright?” She asked as she looked at Phoenix and Diego.

The prosecutor was completely baffled by Trucy’s question. It felt like she was referring to him as her “papa”, but how could that be? He had no idea who she was, at least that’s what he thought at the moment anyway.

Phoenix got up and whispered to her. “Ah… I think he’s having another one of those brain farts again. Let me handle this.” Trucy nodded and stepped back while Phoenix tried to sort this problem out.

Diego was looking around the lobby being completely confused. Himself, Phoenix and Trucy were the only ones in the room so that could only mean that Phoenix and himself were Daddy and Papa. “I… I don’t understand… what did you just call me?”

“Papa?” Trucy tilted her head with a bit of worry.

“I-I’m not your Papa…”

“Well… I guess not… but…”

“Godot…” Phoenix interrupted. “Don’t you remember? It’s been six months since you and Trucy met…”

“What are you talking about? Who’s Trucy?”

Phoenix stared at him for a second and then sighed. “Okay, this is worse than I thought…”

Suddenly Gumshoe entered the room, wondering if everything is okay. Unfortunately it wasn’t, so Phoenix asked Gumshoe to ask the Judge for another trial day. Diego wasn’t in any state to prosecute in this trial and a ten minute recess just wasn’t enough time to sort this out.

“Alright, we have an extra trial day. So let’s head home, you need some rest.” Phoenix said, holding his hand out for Diego.

The prosecutor just slapped his hand away as he kept getting more and more confused. “You… But you don’t know where I live??”

“You live with us, Papa…” Trucy said, becoming more concerned.

Diego’s heart sank. He felt ill. He felt like he was in a completely different world. The only familiar face he recognised was Phoenix, but he wasn’t someone he wanted to be on friendly terms with — not to his knowledge anyway. Diego hates him, he wants to humiliate him. So why is Phoenix being so friendly and openly concerned about him? Why is there suddenly a little girl who sees him as a father? So many unanswered questions. It’s making his head spin.

Suddenly, Diego stood up and tried leaving the room. His mind was racing with thoughts and he didn’t know what to do about it. Phoenix followed behind him. “Hey! Where are you going?”

“I’m going home! I don’t want you near me!” He hissed.

“But… you live with us now…”

“In what world would I live with you? I hate your guts!”

“Godot, just please listen to me! This is serious.” Phoenix shut the door before Diego could leave.

“And why should I listen to a lowly, worthless scum of a lawyer like you?”

“Because… you’re a different person now. You have a new life.”

“What?”

Trucy took out her phone and showed Diego her lock screen. It was a picture of the three of them at a zoo together. It also pictured Diego carrying her on his shoulders. Once Diego saw this image, he was at a loss for words.

“I…I don’t understand… When did this happen?”

“Just last week, Papa…”

“Huh…?”

“Diego… let us take you home. You’re clearly not well. We’ll try explain everything once we’re there.” Phoenix explained and led the way. Diego sighed and slowly nodded and then followed behind them until Phoenix remembered something. “Ah! Actually, I left some things back at my office. We should go there first before I forget again.”

The three of them headed back to Phoenix’s office, or as it’s now known as The Wright Anything Agency. Once Phoenix opened the door, they were greeted by none other than Apollo and Athena.

“Oh hey, you guys are back early!” Apollo said as he was watering Charley.

“So, who won the case? I’m placing my bet on Mr. Godot!” Athena said in her usual high-spirited attitude.

Diego just became more and more confused as they continued talking. He felt so uncomfortable by everyone acting overfamiliar with him. He’s never seen these people in his life. Why are there so many people being so friendly and close to him? He was becoming overwhelmed. Not only does he not know who these people are, he is also far from used to talking to this many people at once. He’s so adapted to his crippling loneliness, he has no idea how to react to this kind of attention.

Phoenix could tell that Diego was quickly getting stressed. He kept giving confused glances around the room and was nervously sweating. “Not now guys, he’s not feeling too good…” The blue lawyer said as he dragged Diego into the other room and switched the lights off before he quickly shut the door behind him.

Apollo and Athena just gave each other worried glances as they watched their boss pull Godot into the other room. They could hear him breathing heavily, almost as if he was about to have a nervous breakdown. Trucy understands what was going on, but she had never seen it get this bad.

“Ehh… what’s going on?” Athena asked with obvious concern all over her face.

“Papa is… having one of those… hard times again…” Trucy suddenly said.

“Again? This isn’t the first time?” Apollo asked.

“No… well… not exactly. You see, he has these… memory lapses from time to time. Although it’s over small things like forgetting where he puts things and where he was going. And in the trial today, he was in the middle of talking until he suddenly stopped. I thought he lost his train of thought like he usually does but… it got much worse than that.” Trucy obviously didn’t like talking about this particular subject.

“Wait! Don’t tell me…” Athena gasped.

Trucy nodded. “He forgot who I was. He forgot what happened during these past six months. He forgot a lot of things. And I guess seeing you two made him lose it even more…”

“I see. That’s very… unfortunate. That would explain the overwhelming shock and sadness I heard inside his heart.”

“Isn’t there anything we can do?” Apollo asked, determined to help.

Trucy just averted her eyes, looking concerned. “I think… we just have to hope that this will all pass soon.”

“I know! When Boss lets him out of the room, I can give him a quick therapy session with Widget!”

“Of course! That little toy has worked wonders in the past!”

Athena pouted. “It’s not a toy, Apollo! It’s my trusty partner!”

Eventually, Phoenix and Godot came back out of the room. Both of them looked exhausted. “Okay, this isn’t working…” Phoenix sighed.

“Is everything alright?” Apollo asked.

“Simply put… no. Everything is not alright.” Phoenix said bluntly.

“What isn’t working, Boss?”

“This is hard to explain… but Mr. Godot isn’t well today. He needs to go home.”

“I sense a lot of discord in his heart. How about I try using Widget on him?”

“Widget…?” Diego mumbled.

“Well, no harm in trying I guess. Go ahead.”

“Wait… what are you doing…?” Diego nervously asked, still trembling.

“I’m going to give you a little therapy session, Mr. Godot.”

“Therapy? I don’t need therapy! Leave me alone!”

“I-It’s okay! It will only take a moment.”

“No! I refuse!”

“We’re only trying to help you…”

“Please! Leave me alone! I don’t know who any of you are!” He yelled desperately.

Phoenix sighed. “Perhaps we should do this another time. He’s being very uncooperative right now.”

“Alright… fine.” Athena sighed and put away Widget.

Phoenix grabbed the case file that was left on the desk and headed for the door with Diego.

Apollo tilted his head. “Mr. Wright? Where are you going?”

“Well I said we’re going home, didn’t I? We came back here because I left one of the files behind. I wasn’t planning on staying long.”

“So you’re staying home for the rest of the day too? What about the trial?” Apollo asked.

“The trial will resume tomorrow. I’m going to prepare for it of course. You two stay here and take care of the office and other errands.” Phoenix said. “Oh, and Trucy? Are you coming with us or are you staying here?”

“Oh! I’ll stay here actually. I can help Polly and Athena out with stuff. You go on ahead with Mr. Godot and sort his problems out.”

Phoenix smiled softly. “Alright, I’ll see you all tomorrow.”

The esteemed lawyer waved goodbye to his little family as he left the premises with his confused and agitated adversary. The three youths were still very concerned about the unusual man’s circumstances, so they hoped that things will blow over without any dire consequences.

[miafeystits]

ace attorney (obv) & let's say run with the wind

wooo thank u!!!

ace attorney: (im gonna focus on the mainline series i think but if tgaa shows up well. that's to be expected considering everything about me.)

Favourite character: for the main series honestly its SO hard to decide, i'm constantly going back and forth between trucy, franziska, edgeworth and mia depending on the day. for tgaa well. obviously it's kazuma lmao.

Funniest character: this is so hard because literally every ace attorney character is so funny in their own way i literally don't know how to choose. i guess ill just use this answer to shout out godot & van zieks who, despite both being characters i'm at best kind of eh on, are redeemed in my eyes on account of being the funniest motherfuckers alive in the courtroom.

Best-looking character: look at my url. who do you fucking think.

3 favourite ships: EXTREMELY boring answer sorry but for the main series wrightworth klapollo & franmaya (lanamia coming in a very close 4th), and for tgaa its asoryuu, [redacted on account of spoilers you don't know yet], and susahao/susarei/whatever we're calling it

Least favourite character: the entire cast of turnabout big top lmao. if we're narrowing it down to just major and/or recurring characters though uhhhhhhhhh. larry probably. he has his moments but i'd be perfectly happy never seeing him in an ace attorney game again.

Least favourite ship: i know some are pretty popular but i honestly don't really like almost any ship including van zieks because i simply do not care about him as a person. also i'm personally not comfortable shipping him with people he's like. actively racist towards for large portions of the game lmao.

Reason why I play it: i love mystery/puzzle games!!!!! and also something about this game series permanently altered my brain chemistry and made it so i can never fucking shut up about these games ever. something about how the characters and their relationships in particular are written just really resonates for me i think and that's why i keep coming back--- so much of these games is deeply, deeply silly but that doesn't stop the characters from feeling very very human, idk.

Why I started playing it: honestly i don't fully remember! i think i played the trilogy + apollo justice on my ds around 18/19 ish, and i was just generally going thru a mystery/puzzle/visual novel ds game phase around this time (i also was playing the zero escape series) but i think i'd probably heard about this game via tumblr. and fast forward years later and i have a whole corner of my brain exclusively devoted to ace attorney trivia, thanks shu takumi

run with the wind:

Favourite character: despite the fact that i am fully obsessed with haiji's whole deal my favorite is probably kakeru tbh!

Funniest character: 100% haiji. mansplain manipulate malewife icon. literally who is doing it like him.

Best-looking character: i can't believe i, a lesbian, and being forced to make this call but also. like obviously it's haiji.

3 favourite ships: kakehai is of COURSE number one on account of being the mostly insanely stupidly in love pair of weirdos ever, and to a much lesser extent i'm also fond of musa/shindou. and for a third one idk if this is a ship exactly but i do really like the idea that fujioka & haiji had a Thing when they were younger and are currently something along the lines of amicable exes

Least favourite character: i dont think there's any character i actively dislike (who i'm not Supposed to dislike) but the twins are kind of annoying sometimes. also. hana honey i'm sorry its not your fault that this show can't write women but her character is really flat :/ but that's sports anime for you i guess

Least favourite ship: akane/kakeru is like. Fine i Guess but i much prefer them as friends and really don't understand the popularity of this pairing. kakehai is literally right there guys.

Reason why I watch it: apart from the normal reasons i get into sports anime, run with the wind really resonated with me because it's about young adulthood & the ups and downs that come along with trying to figure out your life at that age. especially since most of the characters don't have lives entirely centered on running and sports, it makes their stories not only enjoyable & charming but also deeply relatable in a lot of ways, esp when you're around that age yourself. i watched the show as it was coming out during my last year of undergrad, and it really captures the anxieties of that stage in life and sticks with me because of that. ALSO. haiji is there and im obsessed with him.

Why I started watching it: once again i don't fully remember but i think it might have been your fault. we definitely watched the show together as it was airing so this is what i'm choosing to believe

[our-time-is-now]

September 13, 2019 (2): Surgery-playlist (part 3/5)

(previous play)

You can find more information about the authors, translators, content warning and additional information about the plays in the pinned post on our blog.  

Attention! This play includes transgender topics. For more details see our interjection.

PART 3/5

(...)

Matteo: *listens to the song and thinks about how nice it was to come back to the flatshare after Heidesee and being completely alone with David* *but also thinks that the dinner afterwards was really great and that the mix is probably really good* *but also thinks that they have really hit the jackpot because their friends are soo good at accepting that they also need time for themselves*

ca. 11:06 am: David: Alright… since we were just talking about it… *he sounds slightly annoyed* That was my sister. She wanted to remind me that I still wanted to go shopping… okay, that’s really a thing… Would you consider me unreliable? Or unreasonable!?

Matteo: *shakes his head*

David: Okay, apart from the binder situation on our holiday… I mean, I usually manage everything quite well, don’t I? I was - apart from my blackout after the outing - always at school regularly and on time, I took care of applying to uni in time, I managed to get through all the crap with the applications for the mastectomy and the official name change. I somehow manage to get by with the money I have at my disposal… I’m usually polite and punctual and reliable and attentive. And sometimes I’m really annoyed when Laura treats me like a toddler! And sorry, but I think that it got worse since we’ve had the prospect of moving in here and since we’ve been living here. As if she’s scared that I somehow wouldn’t fulfill my duties or that I’d somehow be noticed in a negative way in some form… *sighs* Or do you remember Mia’s party when she stole the alcohol!? I mean, even if it /wasn’t/ about the fact that I’m not supposed to drink so much because of the testo and instead about the fact that I shouldn’t drink so much in general… is it her job to remind me? She’s only 23 herself. Shouldn’t she also have fun and be young and do stupid things every now and then instead of patronizing me!? I know she doesn’t mean it in a bad way, but it’s really annoying! Sometimes she acts more like a mother than a sister. And then I’m also annoyed at myself. Because I have to pull myself together so much to not actually act like an annoyed teenager toward his mother! It used to be completely different in the past. We had a completely different relationship. And I also understand that she somehow felt responsible when I suddenly showed up in Berlin at her doorstep. And I’m really grateful for everything that she did for me during that time. But I’m doing better! And I can manage! And I feel like she somehow doesn’t really see any of that because she’s so focused on her role. And the thing is: She can be different! Do you remember when she came in the day before yesterday and said she’ll only check in with me on Sunday because I’ll surely be insufferable all weekend long when you’re not there!? Last night she was completely different again. Then she really asked me how I was doing and that she can understand that it’s unusual and hard for me and said that she’s actually happy for us that we feel the same about that and that it’s not one of us that’s suffering from yearning while the other is partying… And this morning she was also okay… And then from one minute to the next she’s somehow stupid again. *you can hear him sigh and being quiet for a moment* Oh man… I’m sorry that I’m taking it out on you now. That’s somehow not a really good topic for a recording like that. We should actually talk about that in person… But sometimes I really wonder how us living together will work in the future… *a brief pause again and a sigh* I just want us to go back to being normal siblings again… and that she doesn’t feel responsible for me. After all, I don’t constantly meddle with her life, either… *you can hear him grumble* I think one day, I really have to talk about this with her properly… one day… when I’m not mad anymore… *you can hear him taking a deep breath* Well, I’ll go to the bathroom now, and then it’s almost time for you to call me. *you can hear him smile* And then I’ll go shopping, so that I have it over with and Laura won’t have anything to complain about and then I’ll talk to you here again. And tonight the boys will be there, but you already know that. Consider yourself hugged very tightly - right now during your seminar but also in the park on your bench! I’m thinking about you! Later! Oh - almost forgot: You should have finished the cocoa by now and you might still be thirsty… Time for package number 7… but now I’ll really leave! Have a good one, tesorino! (there’s a small bottle of apple juice in the package)

The more or the less - When we happen to collide Selig - Ich fall in deine Arme

Matteo: *unpacks the juice and smiles* *opens it and takes a sip while he thinks about the Laura-problem* *thinks that as an only child he might not be able to judge it very well and that they should really talk about it* *picks up his phone and texts David* Memo to ourselves: Talk about Laura… I think it sucks that she annoys you so much, that’s not how it’s supposed to be

ca. 11:20 am: David: Hey, na? I’ve had a shower by now… and we talked on the phone… that was very nice… *you can hear him smile* ...and I went shopping. Now it’s almost 3:30 and you’re still busy all afternoon. I’m not… because the boys will only arrive around 7. I hope that they won’t forcefully try to cheer me up or anything… then this surely will be embarrassing. *sighs quietly* And now I’m sitting here missing you and so that missing you won’t be so bad I’ll better tell you a few more things… I really just made the effort and sorted the songs I picked a little bit and put them into an order with the tracks I recorded and realized that we’re almost at half-time now. So if you’ve reached this spot, then we’ve already managed to get past 2 hours and about 20 minutes - which on the one hand is pretty cool, but on the other hand also means that I still need 2 hours and 40 minutes recording and I therefore have to hurry a little.

Matteo: *checks the time and sees that he’s pretty much correct and that it’s almost 11:30* *takes a deep breath because this basically means half-time*

David: *you can hear silence for a moment and then hear him change the topic* Hmmm… over the last few days, actually the closer the surgery got, I have been thinking a little bit about first times… because I’m looking forward to so many first times after the surgery… going outside without a binder for the first time, for example… the first time not having to think about how much longer I can wear it without it being unhealthy… *laughs quietly and murmurs* And, of course, also about the first time having sex without a condom… *a short pause again* I’m looking forward to all the new first times with you… but I haven’t only been thinking about the time after the surgery, but also about the past… Do you even realize how many first times we’ve already had together, Matteo? I don’t only mean first times each couple has together, like the first kiss or the first time… we had a few very special first times, I think. Although I actually think that every first time with you is special - no matter if it’s the first time that I woke up in the morning and you made me coffee. Or the first time that we fell asleep arm in arm - we even had that twice. The first time after our kiss and the second time in the pool. No, that’s not true… almost 3 times… well, 2.5 times… there was also that one time when I came to your place in the evening and I actually wanted to tell you that I’m transgender… and then didn’t manage to get a word out. *you can hear him swallow* Somehow I keep suppressing that evening… it was so damn difficult. And you were so great and understanding that I wasn’t able to say anything and that only made it more difficult. *you can hear him sigh quietly*

Matteo: *didn’t really notice tears welling up in his eyes and quickly wipes them away* *thinks that he wasn’t really that great, but that it’s typically David that he already found him great even though he hadn’t done anything*

David: Well, but I think this first time only counts half. We didn’t fall asleep arm in arm, but I woke up in your arms… And somehow all of those first times of falling asleep and waking up together were all different. During the first one, I was so nervous and at the same time I felt so comfortable. During the second one I was just desperate and thought I’d lose you if you knew. And during the third one you finally knew. You knew that I am transgender and you didn’t care and nothing was between us any longer. That was so incredible. And then there’s also the first time when we fell asleep together in /my/ bed… and the first time in a tent… and the first time on the beach… and in the car… in your grandmother’s house… in a hotel room… *laughs* There are so many first times just falling asleep… how sick! I’m sure I forgot a few… but you know what I mean. *brief pause*

Matteo: *thinks about which ones he forgot* *remembers the time when they were at Bea’s and David’s parents and the first time falling asleep on the sofa and then stumbling into bed overtired* *smiles slightly when he remembers David clinging onto his neck*

David: I’m trying to remember what my very favorite first time falling asleep together was… although all of them were nice… even the time in this weird hotel in Genoa… but I think my very favorite one was the one after our first time. Because that was when I somehow really realized it… *laughs* ...yes, I’m a little slow… I know, we’ve already been together for a day at that point. But in the pool… no idea, that was also great… but somehow still so unreal. We… or I… I don’t even know if you felt the same… somehow I was still in this kind of safety bubble… like in a hiding spot after a natural catastrophe, you know?

Matteo: *thinks about how at first, David didn’t want to leave and also about how strange it was afterwards in the flatshare, how insecure he was, and also about how hurt he was when David was so insecure about them* *but also remembers what David has said about him and all the things he did and how good it felt to hear it* *thinks that this was actually also a first time* *pulls his phone out again and texts David* I remember that you didn’t want to leave the pool and how insecure you were at the flatshare. But you know what else I remember? Your awesome speech to me about what it was that I did for you. That was somehow also a first time, wasn’t it? The first compliment-speech you gave me or something. Regardless, it’s a nice memory <3

David: Back then, I didn’t really realize this thing with the two of us… only once we were outside again… in reality, where everything somehow went on as usual and when we saw other people… and when we were at the flatshare and afterwards when you were in my room with me… then all of this slowly got real… and then as a culmination the sex with you… that was another thing that made me realize: All of this is really happening! You really want me! In every way, you now? You want to be close to me in every way… You’ll stay with me even if I show weakness. You’ll stay with me even though my body doesn’t look the way I want it to… You won’t just stay with me only in this safety bubble at the pool but also here in reality… I think I only understood and realized this that night, and I think I’ve never fallen asleep this happy in my entire life! *sighs and clears his throat*

Matteo: *thinks that he always wants to be with him, that he always wants to give him this feeling of safety* *smiles slightly when he realizes that this thought doesn’t scare him at all*

David: And with our first kiss it’s similar. Only that both our first kisses happened in the pool. The first first kiss was exciting and sizzling and… somehow also some kind of risk for me, because I had no idea where it would lead to. And the second first kiss was… just wow. Somehow unreal, but then also so real. I remember that I could hardly believe it that this was happening to me. I could hardly believe that you still wanted me - and still want me after all the crap that I did… This kiss was also exciting, but very different from the first one. Much… more safe and… somehow more hopeful, because I knew that we can build onto this first kiss… because I was able to look forward to what’s to come and no longer had to be afraid that you don’t want me, after all. *smiles lightly and you can hear his smile while he continues* If I think about this now, then we didn’t only have two first kisses, but quite a lot of them. Just like with falling asleep… We also had a first kiss in front of others - first in front of my sister and then in front of your friends… *laughs quietly* ...and then in front of the entire year… We had a first kiss in public in front of strangers… and the first kiss in a huge crowd in Venice… the first kiss on St. Mark’s Square… the first kiss on the other side of the Canal Grande and so on. And a first kiss after our first… “semi-fight” - back then on this old playground after I learned of the thing with Jonas - and the first kiss after our first “real fight” in Heidesee… Oh and of course our first kiss in the lake… *laughs quietly* and under water. And in the ocean! And in the rain. Do you remember? During that crazy thunderstorm in summer? Wasn’t that our one-month-sex-anniversary? Now we’ll already have our 4-month-anniversary this week! Wow… so many first kisses… *laughs quietly* ...and we had a first kiss in the snow! And in August, to boot! I don’t think that there are many couples who had their first snowkiss in August… Well, I guess we’re special! *sighs quietly*

Matteo: *smiles when he thinks about all the kisses* *briefly has this idea of making a list of their first kisses, the ones they already had and the ones they still want to have* *but isn’t really in the right headspace for that right now and postpones that*

David: And I don’t really have a favorite kiss! I like all of our kisses! *you can hear him drink something and then continue* Okay… what other first times did we have? The first time I met your mother… and the first time you met my parents - although I really would have loved to spare you from meeting my father… oh man, I never would have thought that I’d introduce them my boyfriend… and the first time you met Bea, of course. And I met your grandmother and Philippo… Those first times were also somehow pretty special. I don’t know, but somehow meeting the people that mean something to the other person makes you feel a little bit like you’re a part of their life, right? *hesitates*

Matteo: *nods slightly and briefly has to think about his father and how he might have reacted to his outing and to David* *thinks that his reaction might even have been pretty cool* *but also thinks that his father has given up on him, that he didn’t fight and that therefore he doesn’t want him to still be a part of his life*

David: Well, if we leave my father out of it - but even that was somehow important, wasn’t it? I thought it was important for my parents to see… oh man, this sounds really stupid now… but that they see that someone other than my sister and Bea can love me the way I am… and I also thought it was important that you meet them so that you can understand a little better why I haven’t tried to have more contact with them so far… and why I left. Somehow… I don’t know… I like stories from your past, anyways… but I also like it when you learn more from my past… somehow that explains quite a lot… why we are the way we are, doesn’t it? So this is why I like those first times… because with that, we basically let each other a little bit further into each other’s life… and in our pasts. *is quiet for a moment and then laughs quietly* Oh man, I could go on like that forever… with our first times… do you even care? If not, then it’s too late now, anyways, because I somehow still have to fill 2.5 hours. You’ll just have to suck it up… *laughs* But so that it won’t get too boring, you’ll get one or two songs now, okay? See you later…

Tom Odell - Grow Old with Me Bright Eyes - First day of my Life

Matteo: *has to grin a little when he hears the second song, because that’s actually Jonas and Hanna’s song* *but thinks that it suits them, as well*

ca. 11:40 am: David: And I’m back… You know which first time I found pretty special? Although… no, actually it was more than one first time… *laughs again* No, well actually all first times were pretty special… but some of them were more special than others. *gets a little more serious again* What I found special were all the first times that not every couples has… like the first night at your place without a binder. I remember how nervous I was and how uncomfortable I felt at first. And that’s another time where there were two first times… the first first time I took it off at night in the bathroom and didn’t tell you about it. To be honest, now in hindsight I haven’t go the slightest idea what I was thinking… why I didn’t just talk to you… *laughs quietly* Okay, we’ve only been together for such a short time and maybe back then I simply thought that we might also spend nights apart from each other and that somehow I could still postpone talking about it… I actually only remember being in pain and that I just wanted to get rid of the thing. And you know me - that’s saying something, if I voluntarily want to take it off in the presence of others. What was going on then? It was definitely an exhausting day… Oh, I remember… it was the day I had my PE exam in the morning, and then there was the Abi-prank and then the party… and on the days before, I was wearing the binder almost non-stop, as well… anyways, I still remember that I felt embarrassed and awkward and I was really yearning for you to hug me, but that at the same time, I couldn’t allow that. Then I pretended to be really tired and to already be asleep when you came back from the bathroom… *sights quietly* And youuu… of course you noticed and you asked google and you asked me about it. And that’s how it led to my second first night without a binder and this time, you knew about it. And I still felt embarrassed and awkward, at least at first… but somehow it was so important for all the nights that followed and for everything else that followed. *laughs quietly* Well, and actually there was also a third first night without binder… and without shirt. At that point I already felt a little less embarrassed, but still pretty nervous. Do your remember? That was this really hot day where you could somehow barely move without being soaked in sweat. And we put up Hans’ kiddy pool on your balcony. And at night, when we were lying in bed, I was really yearning to be close to you, but it was still so warm. *laughs quietly* And you suggested cutting holes in my shirt so that I wouldn’t be so hot…

Matteo: *laughs slightly* *still thinks that it was a pretty smart idea he had*

David: *you can hear him smile* I still remember what a sick feeling it was that there wasn’t anything between us anymore, no shirt or binder… and because of this feeling and because you always were so great and understanding, I could forget about this stupid dysphoria a little bit… And with each time it got a little better and a little less embarrassing and uncomfortable. I only have that with you, Matteo. That it feels normal to be the way I am. That nothing has to be embarrassing or uncomfortable… *smiles again slightly* ...not only when it comes to the trans stuff… but also with everything else. On Thursday night, when I was almost about to cry because we were facing this stupid Voluntary Year weekend, I knew that it would have been okay… somehow… oh man, okay, I’ve never cried in front of you… and actually… I always want to be strong… but I also know that I’m allowed to be weak in front of you. And that is… no idea. Good somehow, isn’t it? But that’s also one of those things that has developed. I still remember when I got the letter from the insurance that they will cover the costs for the mastectomy… back then you also said something along the lines that I’ll definitely have to tell you when I’m in pain. Well, that I should relax and don’t overdo it afterwards. And I agreed, of course… but on the inside there still was this feeling… that I don’t want you to worry unnecessarily… okay, I still don’t want that… but back then, I also still thought to some extent, that I have to be strong and want to be strong and that I… no idea… don’t want to be a burden to anyone. *sighs quietly*

Matteo: *really hopes that David has put this behind him, at least to some extent* *doesn't think that it’s good if he’s always strong or if he feels like he always has to be strong* *hopes that David really means it and that he knows that he can also be weak in front of him*

David: And the other day, when we talked about the mastectomy again and you said once again that you want to know when I’m in pain, then I promised you and I knew that I would be able to keep that promise. Because you don’t think I’m weak… and because you want me to be honest with you. And sure… I don’t want you to worry… But I also want for you to be able to trust me. I don’t want you to ask yourself if I might be putting on an act… because that would also cause you worry. And I think… well, if I should be in pain then the fact that we’ll talk about it might already make it better. That I’ll tell you instead of pulling myself together, I mean… and that you can be sure that I’d be honest with you if I really couldn’t bear it anymore and if I needed a doctor or something like that. *pauses for a second to remember how he even got to that topic and then says*

Matteo: *nods at everything he says and really hopes that David knows that he can tell him and that he only wants him to feel good and that he wants to contribute to that*

David: And it’s just the same vice versa… at least I hope so. I think it’s pretty nice that you trust me enough to talk about your fears with me… or about things that bother you… Well at least partly… I think… I hope… *laughs quietly* Oh man, I just feel like you trust me. And I want you to know that you can trust me. That there’s nothing that you think or feel that would lead to you being any less important to me, okay? Or that I’d think worse about you because of anything that bothers you… or that I’d think you’re weak or anything… on the contrary. To me, you always are and will be the best…

Matteo: *swallows slightly and briefly considers texting him that he doesn’t trust anyone as much as he trusts David* *but then thinks that this is something that you should say in person when the situation fits* *still hopes that David knows and feels that this is the case*

David: *you can hear him grin while he says* This is somehow really unstructured… I hope you won’t mind. I was actually talking about our first times… the special ones… the ones that not every couple has… For example, one shouldn’t think that for a couple it’s something special to go swimming in the lake for the first time… but for us it somehow was. Because before that, I hadn’t been swimming for such a long time. And because I never would have thought that I’d ever be brave enough before I had the surgery… Well… and then you came along… and I really urgently wanted to really be underwater with you… really in the water… and somehow it was another first time where you were more important than the dysphoria… *grins again slightly* ...and even without a binder… and later even without a shirt. And of course the first time swimming with the swim binder in Heidesee - and the first time swimming with others… I probably never would have dared without you. And all our first conversations… about the surgery, about testosteron, about dysphoria, about us as a couple. *laughs quietly* And the first time you got me a pillow after the testo shot so that my butt wouldn’t hurt as much. The first time I realized that you’ll go all this way together with me, back when I received the letter from the health insurance.

Matteo: *grins slightly when he remembers the pillow* *also thinks that this is something that will still be there after the surgery* *but hopes that his care in this situation is good and that it makes it a little easier for David*

David: Sometimes I still can’t believe it that in a week from now, I’ll already have the surgery behind me… or from your point of view in probably two hours’ time… Unbelievable! And when I think back, then it still seems unreal to me that you’ve been there the entire time… the entire rest of the journey since May… it’s so nice that I didn’t have to go this last stretch of the journey on my own. And I’m already looking forward to the moment when I wake up after the surgery and you will be there. And to the moment when the bandages will come off for the first time. This will also one day be a part of the list of our first times: The moment we see my chest the way it’s supposed to be for the first time. I’m so looking forward to all the other first times with you… I think there will be plenty ahead…

Matteo: *tries to imagine what David might look like after the surgery* *has seen photos on the internet, but somehow has trouble applying it to David* *thinks that for him, it doesn’t really matter and that he simply hopes that everything will go well and that David will feel comfortable with it*

David: *you can hear him smile* ...our first Christmas… our first New Year’s Eve… *you can hear him grin slightly* ...our first plant that we buy together… and… everything that’s part of it. *you can hear him exhale* Okay, what other first times did we have that not every couple has… *laughs quietly* Me coming out to your mother, for example. What other couple has to come out to their future mother-in-law… And of course sex. *you can hear him grin slightly* I mean, okay, each couple has sex for the first time, eventually, but our first time was still special! *laughs again quietly* That’s probably also something that every couple says about their first sex… but… *gets serious again and takes a deep breath* I don’t know, I think what I found so special was the fact that you didn’t turn it into anything special… that sounds stupid somehow, because I know that it was also special for you, but for you, it was special because of /me/. And not because I’m trans. Do you know what I mean? I worried so much beforehand. Not only when I met you and fell for you, but also before that. What it might be like. If I’d even find someone who accepts me the way I am. Who will also accept my body even though it’s so hard for myself to accept it. And then you came along. And you didn’t question anything whatsoever, you just accepted everything and acted as if all of this were normal, or that my body was normal.

Matteo: *thinks that David really is absolutely normal in his eyes* *hates it that society has any standards for what a body is supposed to look like and that so many people feel bad because of it* *plans on telling David how hot he is more often*

David: *is quiet for a moment and then says quieter* I think I’ve never been as happy in my entire life as I was in that moment. You… somehow made all my doubts just disappear. Well not all of them… but really a lot of them. *sighs quietly* And I think you can generally say that all of those first times that not every couple encounters were so special for me because you made them so special because of /me/ and that the fact that I’m trans was entirely secondary. And before all of those first times I was so insecure and scared and nervous. Back then, I somehow couldn’t really understand that you really don’t care. We haven’t been together for that long at that point… and I kept being a little scared that you might eventually realize that this isn’t what you want… that you… I don’t know, either… That it might get too much for you and too complicated with me. And even though in our everyday life it somehow felt as if we had already been together for an eternity, because we were so familiar with each other and so many things were so easy and natural for us, I was still really dead afraid in such moments. *hesitates briefly* I was scared that you might eventually realize that you’d rather have… I don’t know… a boyfriend with a… more manly body. That it might suddenly bother you, after all, that I don’t have a flat chest or that I’m missing something down there between my legs. That all of this will get too complicated for you… with my doctor visits, my dysphoria… sometimes I’m still a little scared. But really very rarely… *pauses for a moment and then quickly adds*

Matteo: *only shakes his head and really hopes that he no longer has those doubts*

David: I hope you know that this had nothing to do with you. You did the right thing so many times back then… and you still do… with everything, really. I really couldn’t have wished for better reactions. You never urged me. You gave me time. You went even the tiniest step with me. All this insecurity that I felt, it never had anything to do with you, and only with myself. And all those first times that the two of us had together, they weren’t just first times between us - for me, they were first times in general. No one’s ever seen me without a binder before. No one’s ever touched my like you. No one’s ever been as close to me like you! And I realized only much later that all of this was also new for you! That surely you must have been just as insecure as I was. That maybe you didn’t know how to act with me, either. And now, when I think about it in hindsight, then I realize that back then, we might not have been as familiar with each other as we thought we were… there really were still a lot of insecurities back then - which is somehow logical, because for both of us all of this was completely new. But if I compare “back then” with “now”, then we’re definitely a lot more secure… also with new topics… *laughs quietly* Although it’s somehow sick to talk about /back then/… oh man, it’s only been four months… four months, Matteo… and it’s so sick how much my life has changed since then - how much /our/ life has changed. How much you have changed my life… now we even live together here in this room. You have started your Voluntary Year, I’m having my surgery and then I’ll start university. Soon we’ll have something like a real everyday-life together. I mean, of course it sucks that we’ll see each other less because of that. And that then there will also be things such as the seminars for the Voluntary Year or the surgery and the hospital stay that separate us for longer than necessary… but I don’t know… right now, I’m quite optimistic about all of that… *laughs quietly* Maybe because I have talked so much about us and because that made me realize once again how lucky we are that it’s going so well between us… *gets serious again*

Matteo: *swallows slightly but thinks that he’s right* *also thinks that it’s gotten more secure because of their holiday and them living together, and that it’s somehow more natural in a good way* *really hopes that it will stay that way and that they’ll just keep growing closer*

David: But right now I just think that we can do all of that. I mean, sure, I was already aware before this that we can do that. But that we won’t just manage it somehow and instead we’ll manage it really well. And to some extent I’m already looking forward to everyday life with you… to the messages that we’ll send each other in between and the moments when we finally see each other again in the evening after work or after uni… when we can be close to each other again and tell each other about our days. That will be a big change… but… I know that it’ll be good. And even though our lives will somehow change I still hope that we’ll never change. That it’ll always stay like this between us. I’ll take a short break and get myself something to drink… and you’ll get a few songs again. I hope you’re doing good! Later!

The Fray - You found me Mikroboy - Solang der Mut den Zweifel schlägt

ca. 12:08 pm: David: Alright… well according to my calculations it should now be a little after 12… we still have a few more minutes and I’d like to use them to conclude talking about the first times… *laughs quietly*

Matteo: *also laughs quietly and checks his phone* *can see that he’s right and that it’s 10 past 12*

...to be continued...

(next play)

[the-rejected-princess]

The scent of her darling hit her nose before he made himself known to her. His scent filled her senses almost driving her crazy; peppermint and ash cologne. Her heart tightened and fluttered behind her breast once the sound of his voice hit her ears. Oh, how she adored this man. She sometimes wished she could just fastforward time and skip school; where they are married. Morticia knew she would be with Gomez for the rest of their days, that was a fact. She couldn't wait to wake up beside her Cara Mia for the rest of her days.

"Mon Chéri. . ." The voluptuous witch hummed her voice soft, and seducive almost soundly as sooth as silk; turning she came to face her lover. Feasting on his aura and features she drank him up. Gomez was her everything, her soleil (sun), her l'amour vrai (true love), nothing could change that. The hungry gaze didn't go unseen by the young witch. In fact Tish had hunger in her honey orbs as well, hunger only for the devil that stood before only inches shorter than her. One that didn't know Tish well might confuse her gaze for lust, but Tish truely did love the youngest Addams brother. Her gaze became hooded with an almost seductive allure to it as she started at the handsome devil before her. "Should you not be studying doux (sweet)?"

"Cara Mia. . ." The Raven beauty purred her gaze still hooded as she stared at the shorter male. She craved him with her whole being, even when away from the dashing man she yearned for him, his stare, his touch, his lips, his aura, his body heat, his being. . . Would Tish tell the young Addams? Probably not, but her actions always showed just how much she cared for the male. Her purely white teeth bit into her bottom ruby red lip her honey gaze lingering on his attire for just a moment longer as she admired the suit he adorned today. "The dress. . . it is lovely, yes. . . however, I can not ask for that it from you mon amour. . . Or, correction, will not. . ." The mysterious beauty argued, Tish wasn't one to accept things so easily from others. Even her own mother had to threaten her with breaking a bone or two for her to accept letting her pay for her apartment. Though Morticia would be lying if she said the sound of a broken bone or two didn't sound quit nice.

@thewxnderer || Morticia Starter Call ||

Raven black locks flowed flawlessly down a slender back, swollen bust would rise and fall calmly as breath was taken in and let out, long legs that seemed to go on forever with full round hips moved and swayed as the figure moved along. Morticia Frump: was a mysterious being, just a glance from the seductress could give you chills, either good, or bad, depending on emotion was behind the look. The mysterious woman that dressed in black with eyes a warm honey brown attended Nevermore College, where much like her years at Nevermore Academy she was a social butterfly.

The Raven haired beauty was taking a quiet walk along through the town that her college was home too. Getting some well needed shopping done for the week. No longer was she living on campus at College. Only recently had she moved into an appartment of her own, all thanks to her mother. Tish had to admit, she rather liked not living on campus. Sure, at first it was lonely having the whole spacious apartment to herself. In no time however, she was enjoying no roommate, decorating how she wanted, the whole nine. Honey brown orbs lingered on a beautiful black dress that was on display in the window of the shop.

"Lovely..." She sighed her long slender fingers and black long nails rested gently against the glass as she stared longingly at the garment. Her perfectly white teeth biting down on her ruby red bottom lip. The only splash of color apart of her attire.

[blossom-hwa]

taking care | k.th

I was... inspired. yes. let’s just call it that. definitely not me projecting my idiot brain into a fic. Definitely Not.

Pairing: Taehyun x gender neutral!reader

Genre: fluff, slice of life!au, sick fic, editor!taehyun, writer!reader

Triggers: cursing, mentions of medication (prescribed), panic attacks are mentioned once but no one actually has one

Word Count: 12.6k

When Taehyun goes missing from work, you hunt him down to his apartment where you find him sick. Attempts to take care of him ensue. It doesn’t all go as expected.

Seungcheol (SVT) Ver. | TXT Masterlist

It is two am on a Friday morning when you finally emerge from your little den of sadness and misery to actually attempt to be somewhat of a functional human being.

(The little voice in the back of your head that sounds annoyingly like Beomgyu reminds you that no one is ever able to actually function at two am like a normal human being, and the fact that you are only able to attempt functionality at this hour speaks to something deeply, deeply wrong with your sleep schedule and mental psyche. You swat it away.)

Switching on a light, you blink into the brightness. For a moment it feels like your eyes are burning. Sometime over the past five days, you became a vampire, probably. Minus the bites and fangs and sexy undead creatures.

Wait.

Five days?

You pat your pockets for your phone, which does not seem to be on you. Ah. Yes. You often shove it away when you're in gremlin writer mode so that the bright light won't distract you from your empty word documents. Shuffling back into your study, you flip on the light there too and start throwing things around.

“Beautiful,” you mutter, finally dragging the device out from under a pile of scribbled-on papers. “Please turn on, please turn on—”

It turns on. Bless, so it isn't dead. Squinting at the tiny screen, you check the date and time. Two oh seven in the morning on Friday, November seventeenth.

(The tiny rational voice in your brain that sometimes sounds like Soobin and sometimes sounds like Taehyun reminds you that you could have easily checked your still open laptop for the date and time instead of rooting around for your own. You swat it away, too.)

Hm. So it has been five days. That's... interesting. And mildly concerning. Not because of your fucked up sleep schedule which isn't even a sleep schedule at this point, but because this means Taehyun is off schedule. And by that you mean he didn't show up on the third day of your writer gremlin-induced madness to bring you coffee.

It happens like clockwork. You get sucked in by a deadline, ergo you go MIA. You ignore all texts and messages for two days, ergo Taehyun deduces you have spiraled into deadline induced writer gremlin madness. Coffee is the only thing that sustains you on a day to day basis, ergo Taehyun shows up at your apartment on day three, your favorite coffee in hand and not the bitter unsweetened shit you make yourself at home, and forces you to take a nap while he cooks.

It's a neat little syllogism. Or something. You don't quite remember the names of all the literary devices your writing teachers tried to shove into your head in high school. It all became irrelevant anyway in college when you could have arguments with your professors over the merits of the Oxford comma (it has many merits, but sometimes you just like to be contrary and your professors grew to know this very well). But now the syllogism has been broken because it's been five days since you sank into your little black hole of word documents and black coffee and Taehyun has not shown up once.

Ergo, concerning.

Your fingers have pulled up Taehyun's contact before you realize what you're doing at this time of the night—well, morning. You cannot call Taehyun right now. He's most definitely asleep because he's an actual functioning human being who goes to the gym, eats semi healthy food, and has a sleep schedule. And also happens to be ridiculously good at editing every anxiety-infused chapter you send him of your in progress novel. Therefore you cannot bother him before six in the morning, which is when he actually wakes up. It would be unholy. An even greater transgression upon the gods, assuming they exist.

You close your laptop, making sure to double and then triple save your work because accidents happen and you don't need any of them at two am on Friday when something's already wrong with Taehyun, then shut off the light before shuffling back into the room where you're actually supposed to sleep. The bed looks extremely inviting all of a sudden, what with all the nice little blankets and pillows that you haven't seen in days because you've just been taking cat naps in your office, and it's all you can do to force yourself to brush your teeth first and attempt to wash your face before plugging your phone into its charger and falling onto the bed.

In minutes, you're fast asleep.

. . . . .

When you wake up twelve hours later, at first you don't really remember why there's anxiety buzzing in your chest.

Your eyes feel crusty. So does your mouth. It feels like something died on your tongue. And your entire body feels grimy, probably because you haven't showered in a couple of days, so you ignore the little flutter of anxiety for now, just for now, and head to the bathroom.

One shower and a set of fully brushed teeth later, you stand in front of the bathroom mirror and attempt coherent thought.

Fact 1: You feel somewhat anxious.

Fact 2: It is true that you can sometimes feel anxious for no reason. It's called anxiety and it's the reason you see a therapist.

Fact 3: You're finally on track to meet your deadline in several days thanks to the past five days of gremlin behavior.

Conjecture 1: The deadline is not the source of your anxiety.

Conjecture 2: Something else is the source of your anxiety.

You blink. Wait. How many days has it been since you went into writer gremlin mode?

Five. It has been five days.

Your final thoughts from two in the morning come rushing back. Right. Taehyun didn't come by on the three day mark to bring you coffee, make you food, and force you to nap.

Somehow in the light of day, this realization seems more concerning than ever.

You head back into your room to check your phone, which is now happily and fully charged at your bedside. Several new text messages, but none of them from Taehyun.

Concerning has now become worrying.

You flick through the other texts. One from Beomgyu that's just a weird meme, one from Chaewon reminding you to take a break at some point. Nothing from Taehyun at all.

You call the office.

“Hello?”

“Is Taehyun there?”

A pause. “... Y/N?”

“Yes, it's me, I'm incredibly offended that you don't remember my voice,” you rattle off. “Is Taehyun there?”

Soobin pauses again on the other end. The sound of shuffling papers fills the phone. “Greetings to you too,” he snarks, and you really want to hit him. So much. But he's several miles away in an office building and your only connection is through like... electrical wires. Or waves. Or something. Science wasn't your strongest suit in school. Point is, you can't hit him. “Glad to see you've dragged yourself out of your writer gremlin induced stupor. And no, before you ask again, I don't think he came in today.”

This is more worrying than you thought it would be. Taehyun doesn't miss work. He's always on time, if not early—the one time he came in late and you were on time, you thought the world was going to end.

“Cute, thanks. Have a good—” you check the time— “four more hours of work!” You hang up before you can hear his reply.

So not only has Taehyun not texted you or called you at all in the past few days, but he isn't at work either. These levels of worrying are starting to get dizzying. Which means only one thing:

You need to find him.

Luckily, you've been to Taehyun's place several times for both work and social purposes, like when Yeonjun and Beomgyu convinced him to host a little Christmas party that ended with almost everyone tipsy or drunk and passed out in his living room by morning. You were on your meds so you couldn't drink, so you got saddled with the fun responsibility of bullying everyone into drinking hangover cures when they woke up.

It was actually kind of fun getting to record them doing and saying stupid shit, though. You were able to stock up on at least a year's worth of blackmail material in just one night. Efficient.

Not the point. You know where Taehyun lives. Now you need to go there and ascertain whether or not he's alive. And if he isn't alive, see if his cat is doing okay before you go have a mental breakdown because Taehyun can't die. It's like, impossible. He's pretty much invincible. Anyone who goes to the gym every day like it's his religion can't die.

You throw several things into your beaten up bag, then on second thought shove your laptop into its case to bring it too. Another voice that sounds ridiculously like Yeonjun chirps something like you bring that everywhere.

“It's called separation anxiety,” you say out loud.

No one replies. Which is good, because if someone did, you’d have a whole new problem on your hands.

With that, you grab your laptop charger, shove it in the bag, and head out the front door. You only almost forget to lock it on your way out.

. . . . .

It only hits you that you might be overreacting when you're right outside Taehyun's apartment. When you've literally raised your fist to knock on the door.

Because maybe he's... fine. Maybe he's perfectly fine and he's just tired of coddling you like a child. It would be valid. He shouldn't need to bring you coffee every third day of your gremlin life. He shouldn't need to learn to cook for you just so you can actually eat a fresh vegetable every so often. He shouldn't need to make you take naps like a toddler because you forget to take care of yourself a little too often to be acceptable as a full grown adult.

Maybe you should have called him beforehand and seen if he actually needed you before coming here.

Okay, no. A voice that sounds suspiciously like your therapist cuts through your spiral of negativity. Taehyun is your editor. He is also your friend. Friends check on each other and make sure they're doing okay.

Yes, but friends don't usually do... all of that. Taehyun's cooking has actually improved in the process of attempting to make you eat. That's dedication you aren't sure you deserve.

That's the effort he's putting into your friendship, your mind therapist says. And you put your own effort into the friendship. It's not like he's doing this all alone.  

Right. You look at the door. You've shown up to his apartment unannounced because you were worried about him. That has to count for something, right?

Yes! your mind therapist cheers.

No, says the bitch ass part of your brain.

This hurts, says the arm that is still raised in the air, ready to knock on the door but unable to because anxiety.

Whatever. You sigh. You've already made the entire subway ride and walk to his apartment and are standing outside his door. Might as well check on him while you're here.

You knock.

No one answers.

You frown. Maybe he's not home, in which case finding him will be considerably more difficult. Or maybe he just didn't hear you. That would be the better option. Maybe you should knock again.

You knock again.

This time, to your relief, something does sound behind the door. To your concern, however, it sounds like a groan mixed with a crash, which is not something you ever thought you'd hear from Kang Taehyun's apartment. You did not prepare yourself for a possible horror story on this bright Friday afternoon.

“... Taehyun?” you call through the door.

Another sound follows, more like a thump this time. There's also a meow that sounds like Hobak, which is reassuring. “Coming,” you make out very faintly.

Well, it sounds... vaguely like Taehyun. You frown. You could kind of hear the undercurrents of his tone in the garbled mess that you made out as coming. Maybe it's not a horror movie monster in his apartment, then.

Awkwardly, you shift from one foot to the other as you wait for what is presumably Taehyun or some sort of Taehyun-esque form to open the door. Someone is staring at you out of the corner of your eye at the end of the hall and you really don't want to be out here for longer than is necessary.

Finally, you hear something click in the door. You have about one second to prepare yourself for something ghastly and horror movie-like before it swings open.

You blink. So does Taehyun.

“... Y/N?”

Okay, so not a horror movie monster. At least not one that's possessed him. But honestly, if Taehyun had told you such a monster had ransacked his apartment and left him to die, you'd have believed him because this is the worst you've ever seen him.

His eyes are red. So is his nose. He's got this huge fluffy blanket wrapped around him and—is he shivering? You have to look again. The Taehyun you know would never look like this. He always looks so put together, even when he's just come from the gym—which is ungodly because you always look like shit after you've gotten off the treadmill—and even when he's wading through your little writer gremlin cave he never looks out of place, but right now...

“You aren't, like...” You gesture vaguely. “You are Taehyun, right?”

Taehyun blinks. That's how you know he’s really in bad shape—it's taking him a full one, two, three seconds to actually buffer and process the bullshit that's coming out of your mouth when it normally takes him less than one. “Yes, I'm Taehyun,” he mumbles, all congested and muffled, and if you weren't so shocked you might actually laugh because it's kind of cute.

“Oh. Okay.” You blink again. “You're sick.”

Taehyun's face flushes redder, which you thought would’ve been impossible. “I'm not that sick.”

“Taehyun, you are very, very sick.” You push your way into the apartment and shut the door. “As in I've never seen anyone this sick before, even myself. Which is weird because I thought you could never get sick, given that you're actually a healthy human being with a functional eating and sleeping and exercising schedule that you actually keep to on the regular.” You dump your bag on a nearby chair—how is he still so neat even when he's probably a mess on the inside? “Where were you before I came? On the couch?”

He nods feebly.

“Go back to the couch and sleep.” You steer him toward it and push him lightly onto the cushions. He does it without much protest, which is highly worrying considering Taehyun is made of many pounds of pure muscle and you shouldn't be able to maneuver him this easily. “I'm going to make you soup. Or something.”

“You shouldn't be here,” he mumbles, though his eyes are already closing. You might coo if you weren't half worried he'd spring up and kill you for it. “You'll get sick.”

“Lucky for you, I have an immune system of steel.” Which is kind of a lie, but you'll take your chances while Taehyun is too conked out by his own shit immune system to counter you with facts. “And I can make a mean fucking bowl of soup. Do you have masks?”

“By the door,” he mumbles, even softer than before. “Thanks.”

“You're very welcome.” You pat his head. “Now go to bed. There'll be soup and meds for you when you wake up.”

He's knocked out before you finish your sentence. Which is just as well, you think as you locate the masks and pull one over your nose. He shouldn't be exerting himself at the moment, and you need to concentrate on making some soup.

. . . . .

An hour later, you have made one trip to the grocery store and convenience store and returned with a variety of things with which to make soup and some pills that you think Taehyun might need. You're not a doctor—the universe should thank you for that—so you're not sure what exactly he's come down with, but you checked his forehead and it was hot, so fever pills are probably a safe bet. Hopefully. As for the soup, you've made this so many times you could do it in your sleep. Mostly because when your mom made it the first time you were sick, you liked it so much that you kept bugging her to make it again and eventually she taught you to make it on your own so you'd stop bothering her.

Good memories.

It takes a while to locate everything you need in Taehyun's kitchen because he's not an organized mess like you are, he's just organized, therefore because there's no chaos in the kitchen you can't really find anything at first. This is not made better by Hobak attempting to climb up your leg every five minutes, but eventually he goes to his refilled food bowl, which gives you time to get together all the things you need and can start cooking. Taehyun doesn’t make a sound in the background, which worries you several times, but each time you check on him to change the wet cloth you've draped across his forehead, he's just sleeping. Very, very soundly.

According to Google, that's a good thing. Because he needs rest. So you leave him be.

Soon, the soup is done, and you can smell its wonderful aroma even through your mask. Probably because you're standing right in front of it. But the point is, it smells wonderful, and Hobak clearly likes the smell too since he keeps sniffing your fingers, so hopefully Taehyun will also be able to smell it being wonderful if his nose isn't too congested. Maybe then he will also be able to appreciate its taste. Something in an intro psych class you took in college said smell and taste are very much related. You also didn't need an intro psych class to tell you that because you have experienced the connection several times in real life firsthand.

Like when you were sick.

Luckily for you, Taehyun's eyes are beginning to flutter open when you check on him after ladling half the soup into a bowl. He kind of blinks when he sees you like he doesn't really believe you're there, so you wave a hand in front of his face. “Hi.”

“... Hi,” he says. “You're actually here.”

“What, did you think I was just a dream?”

He nods, then winces. “Yeah.”

“Fortunately for you, I'm not a dream. And to prove it, I made soup.” You point to the kitchen. “Can you smell it?”

Taehyun blinks blearily. “Vaguely.”

“Oh, great.” You breathe a sigh of relief. “Your nose isn't completely shot then. Do you think you can eat it?”

“... Maybe?”

“All right, I'll go get it for you.” Bustling back into the kitchen, you return with a hot bowl of soup and a glass of water. “You should take some of these meds before you eat, probably,” you say, indicating the bottles you dumped on the table before.

Obediently, Taehyun swallows the pills you give him and drinks the full glass of water. When you hold up the soup bowl, however, he grimaces.

“What's wrong?” You put it down. “Does it smell bad? I promise even if your sense of smell has been completely corrupted by whatever illness you have, it tastes good.”

“No, no, it smells good.” He coughs. “I just... don't know if I can hold it. The bowl.”

“Ah.” You look at the soup, then at him. That might be something of a problem. Hm.

Oh, simple solution. You pick up the spoon yourself. “I'll feed you, then.”

For some reason, Taehyun seems to balk at this. For the entire world you can't understand why. “Do you want the soup?” you ask. “If you can't eat it, I can just store it away for later.”

“I want it,” he mumbles, looking very put out and very childish in a way you never thought you'd see on the one and only sturdy, steady, reliable, healthy Kang Taehyun. “You just shouldn't have to feed me.”

“Well, I don't see why not.” You wave the spoon in the air. “You're sick. You want soup. You can't hold the bowl without dropping it and I am here. Ergo, I will help you drink the soup. By feeding you.”

Bam. That's a good syllogism. If that's even what a syllogism is. You still haven't checked the definition.

Taehyun finally relents, nodding slightly. “Okay.”

You pat his head. “Good boy,” you smile before dipping the spoon in the soup. Blowing on it softly, you extend your hand. “Open wide.”

“I'm not a child,” he mutters, but he follows your instructions anyway. You feed him the soup. “Good, isn't it?”

“I think so,” he says, swallowing.

You blink. “You think so?”

“I can't fully taste anything,” Taehyun complains. “My nose is stuffed.”

“I can't believe you're missing out on my mom's famous soup,” you say, shaking your head. “You know the first time she made it, I bothered her into making it so many times after that she just taught me how to make it myself at some point so I wouldn't keep asking her.”

Taehyun swallows the second spoonful. He coughs and you hand him a second glass of water. “You kept asking her, didn't you.”

You grin beatifically. “Well, when I'm at home with a mother who's willing to cook, I'm going to try and take advantage of that. Otherwise, I will go into my messy kitchen and cook it for myself.” You poke another spoonful into his face. “Drink.”

Sip by sip, Taehyun empties half the bowl before he decides he's had enough. You carefully push the rest of the soup away so that you won't accidentally spill it before handing him the glass of water. “Drink the rest of that,” you say, “and then you should probably sleep some more.”

He grumbles, but he finishes the glass. You pat his head again. “Go to sleep, now.”

“Don't wanna sleep,” he mumbles. “I slept so much earlier.”

“I'm pretty sure you slept like—” you check the microwave clock, which now reads five in the afternoon. “Two hours since I got here. At most.”

“I slept a lot before you came,” he mutters. “Why did you come, anyway?”

Oh. You blink. That's a question you weren't exactly expecting to have to answer. “Uh. Well. I kind of, uh, emerged from my den yesterday. Well, this morning. At like, two am.”

Taehyun makes a noise that sounds suspiciously like a snort. Out of the kindness of your own heart and mercy for his sick little body, you ignore it.

“And I realized five days had passed since I spiraled into my deadline anxiety, and then I realized you hadn't come by on the third day to bully me into halfway taking care of myself, and then I checked my phone and saw that you hadn't texted or called me at all, and then I kind of passed out because I was going to call you but then I saw the time and thought no reasonable person should actually ever call anyone at this time of the morning and especially not you, so I passed out for like twelve hours and then I woke up and called Soobin and he said you weren't in the office. Which is extremely worrying because you always go to work on time. So I kind of panicked and decided to find you and then I showed up at your front door.” You scratch the back of your neck sheepishly. “I realize I probably should have called before coming, but I only came to that conclusion when I was like... right outside.”

Taehyun blinks about five times before he actually says anything in response. “I got like... half of that.”

“Oh.” You shrug. “Sorry.”

“It was enough,” he reassures you, and you feel kind of bad because even sick he's still having to reassure you about dumb things like talking too fast for his sick brain to keep up with, but then he coughs again and you have to go fill up the glass a third time and the thought flies away. “Anyway, if you'd called, I probably wouldn't have answered,” he admits after drinking more water. “I was kind of dead to the world for a while.”

“Why didn't you call anyone?” you ask, raising an eyebrow. “I'd have thought of all people, you'd be the reasonable type to actually call someone for help, you know. Like Kai. Or Yeonjun. Or Beomgyu or Soobin. They would've brought you meds.”

“None of them can cook,” Taehyun says.

You pause. “Yeonjun can cook.”

“He has the ability to put things in a pan and not burn them,” Taehyun corrects, and you have to admit that he's right. “That's not exactly cooking.”

“It's cooking. Just not cooking well,” you say, and Taehyun grumbles a little but nods in the end. “And anyway, they could've brought you convenience store soup or something. Doesn't need to be home cooked.”

“Home cooked is best,” he says.

“Taehyun, you could barely taste what I made for you.”

“Still.” He pouts, and this time you actually coo. “What?”

“You're cute when you're pouting.” You pat his cheek, which is still worryingly warm. “Hang on, I'm going to change the cloth on your head.”

You half expect Taehyun to have gone to sleep in the time it takes to wet a new cloth with cold water, but when you come back, his eyes are still open. “You really aren't sleepy, are you,” you say, draping the new cloth over his forehead.

“No, I'm not,” he says, like a petulant child.

“Sleeping will help the sickness pass faster,” you point out. “I don't really know what you were thinking, keeping this from everyone for what—five days? Were you sick this entire time?”

“I wasn't. I started feeling kind of off on... Tuesday, I think.” Taehyun screws his eyes shut, as though trying to remember, which is ridiculously cute but you manage to keep yourself from cooing this time. “On Wednesday I still went in to work but then I was coughing by the end of the day so I didn't go in on Thursday and just slept like the whole day and now it's apparently Friday, I guess.”

“Aw, look at you. You're the one figuring out the days of the week this time, not me.” You giggle at Taehyun's death glare expression as you pat his head again. “Seriously, though, why didn't you call anyone? All of the people I mentioned before would've helped if you'd just said something.”

“Why didn't you mention yourself?”

Okay, another weird question you weren't expecting to get asked. It actually takes a moment to formulate your answer because you don't even know it. It doesn't rely on undebatable facts the way your previous answer did. Just stupid personal opinions.

“Uh, probably because I'm a mess?” you finally say, raising an eyebrow. “Like a certified, grade A mess, Taehyun. I'm like one of those grade A eggs at the supermarket that are expensive, but a mess. Not an egg.”

“Yeah, I figured you weren't an egg.” Taehyun goes into another coughing fit and you pat his hair through it—which he seems to like, at least unconsciously, by the way that he keeps sort of leaning into your hand. “That's what snark will do to you,” you say seriously as he drinks the rest of the glass of water. “It'll throw you into a coughing fit. Better watch your mouth, Taehyun.”

He puts down the glass of water with a withering glare that gives you hope he might fully recover, because that's a normal Taehyun expression. Not the weird, sick one he's been sporting for most of the past few hours. “Be quiet,” he mutters. “Anyway, you're not—that much of a mess.”

You laugh, loud and sharp in the silence. “I'm very much a mess, Taehyun. There's no need to sugarcoat it for me. I've accepted it.”

“Y/N—” he starts, but you cut him off. “I go into like... hibernation, but more messed up because I'm not a bear for like. A week in a row. Sometimes. Because I have spiraling anxiety about deadlines and stuff and like, yeah, I'm going to therapy, but it still happens so you have to bring me coffee and cook for me and make me nap and shower because I can't really take care of myself like a normal human being sometimes, Taehyun. I'm like... a certified mess. By anyone's standards.”

Taehyun stays quiet for a moment. You realize then how much you dumped on him and how you really didn't mean to do that at all.

“That sounded kinda like trauma dumping, right?” You try to laugh. “Sorry. Didn't mean to. Just ignore everything—”

“I don't do any of that because I have to,” Taehyun says quietly. “I do it because I care about you and I worry about you sometimes. Not because I have to.”

You blink once. Twice. How do you respond to that?

“And like, you kind of are a mess,” he continues, “but it's not like the most destructive mess in the world. You realize what's up and you get help for the things you need help with. I think that's pretty commendable.”

Your heart is beating a little faster. This is not what you needed. Or expected. But for some reason you're getting it anyway.

“You're the one who came to me when you thought something was up,” he says. “The others didn't. They probably will, at some point, but you're the one who came first.”

Now you really don't know how to respond. Like even saying supercalifragilisticexpialidocious wouldn't cut it. Or whatever the fuck that word is.

“Y/N?” Taehyun's looking up at you now with a very strange expression on his face—not the sick one, not really, but very... earnest. And honest. It's how you know he wasn't lying with his words, not the way the fucked up part of your brain would try to have you believe.

“Huh? Yeah, I'm still here.” You smile. “I just—thanks, Taehyun.” Your voice drops a little. “I appreciate it. Really.”

“I appreciate you a lot,” Taehyun murmurs. “A lot of people appreciate you too. You just don't see it, sometimes.”

That's probably true, if you operate under the assumption that Taehyun's second statement is true. His first statement too. Which is a logical loophole because the veracity of the third statement relies on the truthfulness of the first two but your brain is a little fried from Taehyun's compliments so you decide to just take them at face value. He's probably right about all three things, as hard as it is for your little fucked up brain to believe. If people do appreciate you as much as he says, you have a hard time noticing it. But hey, that's what therapy's for.

“Maybe,” is what you eventually settle on as an answer. Ambiguous enough to not fully agree, but also to not fully disagree. Taehyun will understand. He always does. “Are you sleepy now?”

He frowns. “No.”

“Well, uh.” You check the time. Wow, you've been talking a while—it's almost six. “Do you want to try drinking the rest of your soup? I can heat it up again.”

Taehyun blinks. Coughs. Eyes the bowl of soup at the end of the table where you can't accidentally knock it over. Hobak might have a chance at it if he weren't asleep in the corner by now. “I can try,” he says warily. “I don't know if I'll be able to finish it, though.”

“Don't force yourself,” you say. “If you don't want to drink it, we can save it for like, tomorrow.”

Taehyun looks up at you with a strangely hopeful expression. “Are you going to stay until tomorrow?”

You pause. Well, it's more like you were planning to go home, fuck around with your word documents for several hours, pass out, and then come back. But with the way Taehyun is looking at you... “Do you want me to stay?” you ask.

He burrows into his blankets even more, like he's shy. If you weren't sure that Taehyun would find some terrible blackmail on you and leak it to all your good for nothing friends, you'd take a picture. “Kinda,” he mumbles.

“I mean, uh...” You think. You have your laptop with you and there's another bowl of soup for yourself waiting on the stove. “I'd probably have to go home and get a few things. But if you really want, I could stay the night...?”

“Please,” he mumbles into the blankets. “I don't really want to be alone.”

“You're so cute when you're sick,” you coo, patting his head. The look on his face would be more menacing if he wasn't curled up in a blanket burrito with a very red nose sticking out. You tell him as much.

“Stop being mean to me when I'm sick,” he mutters.

“I'm not being mean. I'm telling the truth.” You point at the half empty bowl of soup. “Now do you want to try and drink the rest of it, or no?”

He does end up finishing about a third of the remaining soup before he decides his stomach can't handle more. You get another glass of water into him before pulling your own soup out from its spot on the stove, and then you put on some random white noise Netflix drama on Taehyun's laptop as you eat your own dinner. Taehyun makes interesting commentary on the characters and you shit on the plot. At some point, Hobak wanders into your lap, and Taehyun complains about his cat liking you more than him. It's like things are back to normal, except for his sniffling and coughing and you periodically helping him sip water from his glass.

Eventually he does doze off and only then does Hobak decide it's time to snuggle with his owner, so you take the opportunity to clean up the living room table a little, sweeping a few tissues into the trash can and wiping down the table itself. His place is still annoyingly clean even though he's sick—if you were in his position in your apartment, it'd be even more of a shiftiest than it is now—and when you're done washing the dishes and throwing things away, you finally check your phone.

More memes from Beomgyu, a cat picture from Kai, a missed call from Soobin and a following text. You open that up first.

did u find taehyun? is he ok?

You rattle off a quick message in reply.

he's sick at his apartmnt. dw I made him soup and he's sleeping now sorry didn't se ur call earlir

Immediately your phone buzzes with some sort of response, but your brain is already headed in a different direction. Namely trying to decide whether or not you should change the towel on Taehyun's head again. You end up changing it because he still feels pretty warm, but his nose is dotted with sweat. Maybe his fever will break soon.

Settling back down on the floor, you scroll through your phone for a bit and answer Soobin's ensuing text as well as the other meme messages before remembering that you're staying the night, which means you need to head back home and get a few things.

Taehyun's still asleep, though. And you feel kind of bad leaving him here without any notice, even if you know you'll be coming back within an hour. You debate between waking him up and just leaving a note, but in the end you decide to shake him awake a little. He wouldn't want to wake up to just a note, you know that much.

“Taehyun.” You nudge his shoulder lightly. “Taehyun.”

He mumbles a little, eyes blinking open slowly. “Wha…”

“Don't move, you'll disturb Hobak.” You hold him in place. “I'm going to go back to my place to get a few things,” you whisper. “I'll be back within an hour.”

You turn to leave, but something's tugging you back. You look behind you to see one of Taehyun's hands gripping your sleeve.

“... Taehyun?”

“Don't go,” he murmurs adorably, and your heart nearly breaks at the sight. “I have stuff. Spare toothbrush under sink. Sleep on my bed.”

“Taehyun, as much as I appreciate it, I need clothes,” you say. “Not just a toothbrush. Probably a towel too, I'd like to shower. Remember?” You wiggle your fingers. “You're all germy and gross and I've been here for several hours.”

“I have extra towels,” he protests, his eyes blinking awake further. Damn it, this is ruining all your plans to just shake him awake and be on your way in a minute. “And you can wear my clothes. I have stuff that'll fit.”

You have to buffer for a minute to make sure you're hearing this correctly. “Me. Wear your clothes.”

Taehyun nods.

So you weren't hallucinating sounds. You shake your head. “Taehyun, seriously.”

“I'm being serious,” he whines. And he looks so very heartbroken at the thought of you leaving, even if it's just for an hour, that you actually find yourself reconsidering. Kang Taehyun, a full grown man with muscles and a sleep schedule, is acting like a child and melting your heart in the process. “You can use my shampoo and soap too.”

Oh, God. He's being so ridiculously convincing. What is his problem. You sigh. “I'm going to make a mess, probably.”

“I don't care.” Taehyun pouts and it's even more ridiculously convincing. “Everything's already messy.”

You look around. That's a blatant fucking lie. Everything is still in very much spotless condition. But when you look back at him with a raised eyebrow, Taehyun's eyes are already fluttering shut like a cute little baby and you find your heart melting again. “You can't deny me my dying request,” he mumbles.

“I never thought you'd be this dramatic when you were sick,” you mutter. “All right, all right, I'll stay. On one condition.” You point at him. “Go back to sleep.”

His eyes narrow. “Promise you won't leave?”

You sigh again. “I promise.”

He goes quiet, then, his eyes fluttering shut. You turn toward the bathroom, ready to take stock of whatever he's got in his unnecessarily neat cabinets, but a little noise makes you look back once more. “Hm?”

“Can you pat my hair,” Taehyun mumbles, so quietly you can barely hear. He looks half asleep—his eyes aren't even open as he speaks. “'s soothing.”

That's it. Sick Taehyun is actually going to kill you because of cuteness overload. You settle on the edge of the table like you did when you were feeding him, not even bothering to hide the smile on your face anymore. “Sure, Taehyun,” you say, stroking through his messy hair. “Feel better?”

“Mm.” He snuggles deeper into the blankets. Your heart is melting more than you thought it could. “Thanks.”

“No problem,” you murmur. “Sleep now, okay?”

“Mm,” he mumbles. He's already half gone.

You smile wider as his breath evens into sleep.

. . . . .

One shower and requisite cleanup later, you've settled on the small armchair by the couch and set up your laptop to write. No longer does a blank word document stare back at you menacingly when you open the application, which is encouraging, and for some reason, the soft sound of Taehyun's sleeping breaths is good background noise as you try to get into this final chapter.

Once you've lost yourself in the writing, it can take anywhere from a few hours to like, a day, or maybe three or five days, for you to pull yourself out of the daze. When you look up from your laptop, eyes burning with the need to look at something that isn't a screen and throat parched for water, the clock says it's a few minutes past midnight.

Time for a break, then. You sneak a glance at Taehyun, who's still fast asleep. If he were awake he'd be forcing you to drink water right about now, anyway.

You down a glass of water in the kitchen, then bring another back into the living room only to see that Taehyun has since shifted in his sleep and is about to kick off all his blankets. Probably half due to Hobak, who has made a nest right on top of him and clawed off several sheets.

That can't be a good thing. You go to pull them back up around him but he shifts again, this time actually kicking half the blanket burrito off of him. Hobak does not help matters by waking up and skittering his way off the couch, taking the other half of the burrito with him. In the process, he also manages to drag Taehyun's shirt... up.

Oh. Okay. This is—totally fine. So, super, totally fine. You put down your glass of water before you can do something like drop it and shatter it and make a huge mess that you're unqualified to clean. Like, logically, you know that Taehyun goes to the gym every day he can, but somehow you did... not make the connection between gym every day and abs.  

Because Taehyun has abs. Very nice ones, in fact. The intrusive thoughts are telling you to touch them but you have just enough sense at ten minutes past midnight to abstain, which is something you should earn an award for. Instead, you avert your gaze and pull the blankets back over him as much as possible, swatting away the image of abs abs abs abs abs whenever it comes up. Which is too many times for a single minute.

You sigh, looking back at your abandoned laptop. Part of you wants to go back to writing but another part of you still wants a break (aka time to think about abs abs abs abs—shut the fuck up), so you pull out your phone and settle on the ground. If it's past midnight, that means the new day's wordle is up.

Sure enough, a blank puzzle greets you when you pull up the site. You try a random first guess—grief, it's got two vowels so it can't be too bad—and come up with some decent clues. Hm...

Your second guess goes without much luck. So does your third, though at least all the letters that are confirmed to be in the word are in the correct place. You scan the rest of the keyboard that isn't completely blacked out. What makes sense? Is there even a word that makes sense? What if it's something stupid and contrived, or even worse, a word with a repeating letter—

“Merit.”

You shriek.

Taehyun blinks owlishly from above on his perch on the couch, staring at you heaving on the floor. “Y/N?”

“Jesus Christ,” you gasp. “Taehyun, don't scare me like that—I thought you were asleep—”

“I was. Then I woke up.” He blinks. “I feel better, I think.”

“Let me check your fever.” You place a hand to his head. Even under the lingering coolness coming from the mostly warmed over cloth, you can tell he's come down a few degrees. “Oh, good. It looks like you aren't lying.”

Taehyun scowls. It almost looks like a normal expression for him. “Of course I wasn't lying.”

“Uh uh.” You shake your head. “I'm ninety nine percent sure you'd probably lie to me so that you could end up going to work tomorrow. Don't try to refute me.”

He grumbles, but in the end says nothing. You take that as a win. “Give me a second, I'm going to change the towel.”

With a new towel on his forehead and the sweat wiped away from the rest of his face, Taehyun actually looks somewhat better than the death warmed over look you saw on him when you first arrived earlier today. Or yesterday, since it's past midnight. Wow, your schedule is seriously fucked.

You sit back on your heels. “Okay, what were you saying before? Something about merit?”

Taehyun blinks. “Your wordle. Try merit.”

You look down at your phone where it's lying on the floor, your incorrect wordle guesses staring back up at you, taunting you like you're a fucking imbecile who can't guess the correct word in three tries or less. You blink, picking up your phone. Merit might actually work... You tap it in.

“Shut the fuck up,” you whisper, staring at the screen in horror.

It's the correct answer. It's the correct fucking answer. You glare at Taehyun, who glances back at you innocently from his little burrito on the couch. “Was it correct?”

“Yes, it was, you—argh.” You put your phone down before you can do something stupid like throw it across the room. “Why the fuck are you being my editor when you're sick as a dog?”

Taehyun blinks. “I'm not being your editor.”

“STOP EDITING MY GUESSES!” you screech.

“I didn't edit anything,” he replies in a matter of fact tone that makes you want to scream even louder. “I just found the correct answer.”

You groan, flopping to the floor. “I hate you.”

“If you hated me, you wouldn't still be here.”

You glare at him. “Bet. I'll leave right now.”

“You wouldn't.” Taehyun stares back at you, steady, resolute, but...

Aw. There was a little tremble of uncertainty in his voice.

Instantly your heart melts, but you have too much pride (you shouldn't, your dignity was flushed down the drain at birth) to give in completely. “Yeah, I won't leave,” you say, rolling your eyes. “I'm staying until you get better, doofus. Now go back to sleep. I don't know why you woke up.”

Taehyun pouts. “Can I get some water?”

“Anything for you, Your Majesty.”

He successfully drinks half of the glass you bring back to him, and then you have to help him shuffle to the bathroom. When he comes out, you shuffle him back to the couch, where he collapses into a blanket burrito once more. “Sleepy,” he mumbles. “Pat my head.”

“What a demanding little child you are.” You start patting his head anyway. “Go to bed, Taehyun. You'll feel better in the morning.”

“Mm.” He snuggles closer to your hand, and you have to fight back a coo for the umpteenth time today. Or in the past twenty four hours, because it's Saturday. Allegedly. “Goodnight.”

You laugh a little, stroking his hair. “Goodnight, Taehyun.”

. . . . .

In the morning, Taehyun's fever has mostly broken, and by midafternoon, he's able to get up and walk around. Soobin and Yeonjun show up at lunch with some convenience store soup that he can actually taste, and then for dinner, when Beomgyu and Kai come around, you make your mom's famous soup and all of them say it tastes better than convenience store anything. You beam with pride.

All this is to say that when evening comes, you're mostly convinced that Taehyun is actively getting better (he hasn't had a coughing fit in five hours, you were counting) and he probably won't die if you don't spend the night. Taehyun doesn't seem as convinced, but when you show him the reading on the thermometer that Beomgyu brought along, he kind of acquiesces. At least that's what you think he does when he sinks back into the couch.

“Look, your nose isn't even that red anymore.” You show him a picture you took when he was sleeping, then snap another picture right now before he can protest. “See the difference? Before and after. It's evidence.” Taehyun likes evidence.  

So eventually, after washing your clothes from yesterday and changing from the t-shirt and sweatpants Taehyun lent you, you head back to your apartment. It's dark and Taehyun-less and Hobak-less and for a moment, standing in the doorway, you feel a little lonely, but then you remember you have a deadline to meet in three days and half a chapter left to write and your mind decides to latch onto that.

Which is to say when Taehyun calls two days later, demanding you open your door, you're mostly a mess. Not entirely, because it's only half a chapter and you have probably just a few paragraphs left, but you've written the ending three different times and each time it just sucked more. You'd probably start biting things if it weren't for Taehyun's call.

Stumbling out of your little writer cave, you throw open your apartment door. “Hi. Why did you ask if I had a mask.”

“I forgot one from home and I thought you might possibly be sick. Also, I might have leftover germs.” Taehyun pushes into the door, vaguely reminiscent of when you shoved yourself into his apartment the day you found out he was sick. “Have you eaten? And do you have one?”

You blink. He looks... mostly normal. There's a little sparkle back in his eyes, and even though you can't see his nose under the mask to tell how red it is, he doesn't sound nearly as congested anymore as he used to be. He actually came all the way to your apartment so he can't be feeling too bad.

But there's still something kind of... off. You're not sure what it is. Maybe it's the remnants of sickness still clinging to his body, but while the conjecture makes sense, it doesn't feel right.

He looks at you. “Are you listening to me?”

“… No.”

Taehyun sighs. “I asked if you've eaten. And if you have a mask.”

“I ran out of masks like two weeks ago and forgot to restock.” Ignoring Taehyun’s groan, you purse your lips. “I... think I ate a cup of ramen last night.” A memory returns of you dumping an empty ramen cup into the wastebasket by your desk. “Yeah, I definitely ate ramen last night.”

“So maybe you aren't sick.” Taehyun sighs, and it sounds kind of relieved. “What were you thinking, coming over and staying the night when I was sick?”

“I—what?” You poke his forehead. “You were the one insisting that I stay over! Do you remember yourself? You were literally begging me to stay, you wouldn’t let me leave to even get clothes—”

“You shouldn't have agreed!” Taehyun snaps, and that's when you see the anxiety buzzing around his figure. Ah. That's what was off about him. He looks a little jumpy. “You should have gone home and not worried, Y/N, I would've been fine.”

“No, you wouldn't have.” You wish you hadn’t left your phone in the office, you could show him pictures—evidence—that he was sick as a fucking dog for the day you were there. “You were dead and dying on your couch. Who was going to take care of you? Hobak?”

Taehyun looks at you for a very long moment, almost tensed to spring. Then, all of a sudden, he deflates. “I didn't want you to get sick too,” he mumbles. “You already overwork yourself.”

“Says you.” You snort. “And you’re forgetting, I have an immune system made of steel.”

All Taehyun does is raise an eyebrow.

Damn, you forgot that he's mostly back to normal, which means you can't get away with speaking outrageous untruths because he'll catch you in them immediately. “Well, that means you're better,” you mutter.

“Huh?”

“You're judging me with that raised eyebrow.” You point. “It took you a whole three or five seconds or something to process my bullshit when I came over. Now you're back to dealing with it in one.”

“I feel like your standards for determining whether or not I'm sick are kind of concerning,” Taehyun replies. “Whether or not I'm able to judge you.”

“Well, it's that, and also you look considerably better than when you were burritoed on the couch with Hobak sitting on you like a fluffy hat. In addition to the fact that you were able to get on the subway and walk here like a normal human being.” You blink. “Anyway, why are you here? I have a deadline. I feel like I probably mentioned this to you. Actually wait, you're my editor. Don't you have my deadlines memorized better than I do?”

Suddenly, Taehyun looks very... embarrassed. Which is interesting and concerning because he rarely looks embarrassed. You've seen shy Taehyun, giggly Taehyun, cute Taehyun, but never really embarrassed Taehyun.

“Just...” He shrugs slightly, then doesn't say anything else.

You put your hand to his forehead and he jumps. It's not feverish, but you still narrow your eyes. “Are you still sick? You're weirdly jumpy today.”

“I'm not sick,” he mumbles. “I just... thanks.” He swallows very visibly. “For taking care of me.”

You blink once. Twice. It's like when he complimented you when he was ill—how the fuck do you respond to that?

“It's fine,” you eventually say, feeling like something is definitely not fine because there's still tension in the air except you don't know how to resolve it. “I mean, you're always taking care of me. It was the least I could do for you.”

For some reason, that seems to upset Taehyun more. His eyebrows knit together like he's worried and you have no idea why anything you said could have made him more jumpy or nervous or upset. “... Taehyun? Are you mad?”

“It's not a negotiation,” he says, and now you're more confused than ever. Negotiation?

“It's not like... a tradeoff.” He blinks and this time you can't look away from his big eyes looking at you like the saddest, most worried puppy in the world. “I take care of you because I like taking care of you.”

Vaguely, a memory starts to re-form from when Taehyun was sick and you were sitting by him on the couch and you were probably patting his head while talking. Or maybe not. You're not entirely sure. But you do very much remember talking about how he shouldn't need to make you take care of yourself because you should be able to do it on your own, but your brain has made it clear that one some days you can't, and then he said something very akin to what he just said...

I don't do any of that because I have to. I do it because I care about you and I worry about you sometimes. Not because I have to.

You didn't know how to respond then. You still don't know how to respond now.

“Uh.” You blink. “Is this about, like. What I said when you were conked out on the couch.”

Taehyun sighs. “Kind of, yeah.”

“Okay, we can probably move past that.” You try to smile. “I mean, like. I'm getting help. I'm figuring things out. At some point I'll actually be able to deal with my own shit, hopefully.”

“That's the point,” Taehyun snaps, looking even more upset. “I don't take care of you because it's an obligation, Y/N.”

You're starting to get a little annoyed now, too. “Okay, you've said that several times. It's not as if I don't believe it at all, Taehyun. I don’t really get what you’re trying to say.”

“God.” He puts his face into his hands and stays there for one very awkward, charged moment. When he lifts his head again, though, he looks a little calmer. “You just... act, sometimes, like me taking care of you is this huge burden on me. It isn't.” He takes a deep breath. “I like taking care of you, Y/N. Seriously.”

He's said that twice now. That means, logically, that it's probably true. Logically. But mentally, your brain has decided not to compute it properly. “Uh.” You try your best to hold his very intense gaze. “I gotta ask—why would you ever enjoy taking care of my bitch ass?”

Taehyun almost laughs. You can see it. You can fucking see it and it's more of a relief than anything else, honestly, to see him able to laugh.

“Do I really have to spell it out for you?” he asks, now smiling slightly.

You blink. “Spell what out?”

“Y/N.” He steps closer, and suddenly you become much more aware of the very short distance between the two of you. You were already cutting it kind of close before in this little entryway, and now you're even closer. “I like taking care of you because I like you.”

I like you.

Oh. Oh wow. Okay. That's certainly—a statement. A very strange one. One that could be taken—in a myriad of ways, certainly. Probably he meant it in a friendly way. Like, as in he likes you as a good friend and likes taking care of you that way.

But even the idiot part of your brain knows you'd be stupid to think that with the way he's looking at you right now.

“Uh.” Your voice is a lot squeakier than you'd like it to be. “You don't, uh, mean it, like, in, um, a friend way. Right?”

Taehyun shakes his head. “No, I don't.”

Holy shit. Holy shit. You're probably going to have an aneurysm. Okay, he confirmed it which means your brain can stop being a fucking stupid idiot now, he confirmed it and there is literally no reason for him to lie.

Okay, but what if—

“You're not lying to me, right?”

Taehyun blinks. “Why would I lie to you about this?”

Exactly. Shut up, brain. You smile. It probably looks somewhat insane. “Sorry. Brain being stupid. But. Uh. Let me get this straight.” You take a deep breath that feels a little too shaky when it comes out. “You like me.”

Taehyun doesn't even bat an eye. “Yes.”

Oh. Okay. Wow. You close your eyes for a long moment. Maybe this is a dream. But when you open them, Taehyun is still there.

Probably not a dream, then.

You take a deep breath. “Okay, so—you, Kang Taehyun of the gym bros—”

“I'm not a gym bro.”

“—You go to the gym every day, you're definitely a gym bro—of the men who own cats, of perfect abs and bringing me coffee when I haven't seen the light of day for a week, like me, Y/N, writer gremlin extraordinaire and stupid bitch supreme.” You pause. “Did I get that right?”

“You're not stupid.” Taehyun frowns. “Also, when did you see my abs?”

Your mind chooses then to very conveniently place the memory of Hobak dragging several sheets to the floor while clawing Taehyun's shirt up at the forefront of your memory. Horrible. Terrible. You're going to have to have your therapist order you a brain transplant sometime soon.

“You kinda rolled over in your sleep at one point and dropped half the blankets to the floor.” It's kind of funny watching Taehyun's face redden with embarrassment. Or at least it would be if you weren't internally screaming as much as you currently are. “And then Hobak was sleeping on top of you but woke up so he dragged the rest of them with him and in the process he kinda rolled your shirt up and you flashed me.”

Taehyun is very red. Redder than you've ever seen him. And you've seen him drunk. Also very sick.

Before your brain can tell you to shut the fuck up, your mouth decides to speak again. “I covered you with the blanket. Promise.”

“Oh God.” Taehyun puts his face back in his hands. “This is…”

“Look, you just said that you liked me,” you protest. “I feel like this is a fair trade. Or something.”

He looks up at you, deadpan. “A confession for... what exactly? The reveal of an ab reveal?”

“Oh come on, you go to the gym every day and anyone can see the results. You having abs would probably be the least surprising thing ever.” You scoff, very blatantly ignoring the fact that you were extremely surprised for zero reason about him having ridiculously sculpted abdominal muscles.

Taehyun groans. “This is a terrible conversation.”

“As I'm pretty sure most conversations with me are.” You smile widely. It definitely looks insane because you don't know what else to do and when that happens all you end up able to do is smile like a serial killer. “Are you rethinking your past words?”

“No!”

You jump. Taehyun also seems to realize the volume of his words because he kind of cringes into himself. “Sorry. But no, I'm not.”

This is terrible. Not even a ridiculously horrible conversation with you and your over caffeinated, sleep deprived brain is deterring him. You ignore the therapist voice part of your brain that asks why you want to deter him and look him straight in the eye. “Why?”

Taehyun blinks. “What?”

“Why.” You gesture vaguely to the air. “Why do you like me, even now?”

“What do you mean, even now?” Taehyun raises an eyebrow and oooh, this is terrible, he's taking another step closer and there's probably like two feet of distance at most separating your bodies. Vaguely you remember that you haven't even stepped out of the entryway, that you're both still standing right in front of the door. “Your conversations are a very physical manifestation of you, and I like you. So why would talking with you change my mind?”

“Okay, when you put it like that, it makes sense.” You huff. “But also, my brain can't exactly wrap its mind around the fact that someone with their life so put together at almost all times likes me, a...” A meme gif that Beomgyu once sent you pops into mind. It was a blue dumpster set on fire floating down what you presumed was a flooded street. It seems to fit the situation. “A certified dumpster fire that’s floating down a flooded street.”

Taehyun laughs. He actually laughs and you don't know what to do with it. He looks ridiculously cute and it's doing unhealthy things to your heart—like making it skip beats or some shit. “Where do you keep getting these things?”

“Beomgyu.”

“Figures.” He shakes his head. “You may be a certified dumpster fire, but you're also very much... Y/N. A kind, wonderful, amazing person who writes extremely well and has a way with words that makes me cry, who always tries their best in everything they set out to do, who makes a really amazing sick person soup that I would eat even if I wasn't sick.”

He's smiling now and it's doing even worse things to your heart. You never liked the metaphor of someone's heart beating out of their chest because it reminded you a little too much of panic attacks, but now you kind of feel like you need to use it because there's nothing else to explain this feeling. At least it's being used in a situation where you are very much not about to have a panic attack.

Taehyun's continuing. He's continuing with no regard for your sanity and you can't even stop him because your throat is refusing to allow you to speak. “I like that you're self-aware, Y/N, and I like that you're honest. But I also think that you never really understand that you're capable of a lot more than you give yourself credit for.” His smile softens.

That’s it. You're going to need him to pay your hospital bills. And therapy bills. Actually, your therapist might need to bill him because he's all you’re going to be able to talk about for several sessions straight, just your really hot editor and his really cute smile.

“You're brilliant, you're smart, and you're funny and kind, and really, I don't see how anyone couldn't like you.” Taehyun looks a little nervous now but he keeps going. “Honestly.”

You open your mouth. And then close it, mostly because you think if you try to say anything you're going to make some noise that is extremely reminiscent of a dying whale. It takes you a second to compose yourself and get rid of the stupid lump growing in your throat but finally, you've convinced your brain that you are sane enough to speak—

“My therapist is going to hear about you.”

Oh God. Oh fucking God. You really just said that. And you've scared Taehyun, look at his big eyes, what the fuck is wrong with you why are you such a monster—

“Uh.” He blinks. “Why?”

You blink too and it surprises you to realize that there are tears beginning to form behind your eyes. This is worse than you thought it would be.

“Because you're hot and sweet and kind and you always take care of me even though technically you're just my editor and like I've talked to my therapist about the hot gym bro editor in the office before but that was mostly because we were like, friends or something, and I was worried that you were doing too much for me and I wasn't doing enough for you so then she told me about friendships being a two way street and that I'm definitely not the one forcing you into taking care of me so you're probably doing it of your own volition. And we worked on enforcing that for my brain for a while but that was in a friend context and I never told her that I had a kind of dumb stupid kid crush on you but now you're telling me you actually like me as something that is not a friend and you are complimenting me and holy shit I have so much to unpack.” You take a deep, shaky breath. “My therapist is going to hear about this for the next twenty sessions and she's going to get sick of hearing me talk about you and your smile so she's going to have to bill you because you’re the one who did this to me.”

Great, you're really crying now. Shoving the heels of your palms into your eyes in a botched attempt to stop the tears, you try to breathe. “Pay my fucking hospital bills, dipshit, you're going to send me into cardiac arrest.”

“How about I try something else instead of paying your hospital bills?” Taehyun's voice sounds above you, light, amused, entirely too sweet for your brain to handle. And then—as if that wasn't fucking enough—two warm arms begin to encircle your body, slow, slow, and you know this is Taehyun's way of reminding you that you could back away at any point and he won't take offense, but it feels really fucking good to be hugged right now so you let him wrap you up tight against his chest, your head knocking against his shoulder. “Is this okay?”

“... I'm going to cry into your shirt.”

Taehyun laughs. His chest kind of rumbles with the sound and it feels ridiculously soothing to your still rapidly beating heart. “That's fine,” he says. “I think I coughed on your clothes a lot more when you were taking care of me.”

“Yeah. About that.” You swallow, choking back another round of tears. “Why were you so pissed about me taking care of you? You'd do the exact same thing for me. You already do the exact same thing for me.”

“... I don't think I've ever taken care of you when you were sick to oblivion, Y/N.”

“You bring me coffee like clockwork every three days when I descend into writer gremlin oblivion and force me to eat, sleep, and shower.” You gulp. “That's how I knew something was wrong with you. Five days passed and you didn't come.” You blink. “Oh, also Soobin said you didn't come in to work that day.”

“Yeah, I know. You told me, remember?” And vaguely you do remember, which should probably make you feel embarrassed at having repeated knowledge to Taehyun who apparently still retains information even when his brain is working at twenty five percent capacity, but now he's patting the back of your head and you kind of just want to space out into the void. “And... I just, I know how you are sometimes. I know how you try to take care of yourself, but even then, I know your immune system can be kind of shit.” Taehyun sighs. “I got worried that you got sick because of me, and I really hated that, and then you weren’t answering my texts for a while...”

“I had a deadline.” You blink. “I still have it.”

“I know. But I also wasn't thinking properly.” He pulls you a bit closer and it makes you want to cry harder. This is too sweet. Too nice. Too comfortable. Too much Taehyun, you’re drowning in him. “It's kind of hard to think properly around you, you know.”

“I live in my own brain, Taehyun.” You let out a very wet laugh. “I don't think properly around me. Ever.”

“Touché.” He joins your laugh. “But in my case, it's because you're sometimes a little too brilliant.”

“Or because I talk a little too fast,” you reply in an effort to deflect because if you let yourself process how sweet that was you’re going to probably die right here and now.

“That too.” He pats your back. “But mostly the first reason.”

His admission forces you to process it, which brings a fresh round of tears to your eyes and now you're getting snot on his shirt instead of just saltwater. “Sorry,” you mumble. “I'm feeling a lot of emotions right now.”

“I can tell.” You can't bring yourself to look up at him just yet, but you're certain you hear a smile in Taehyun's voice. “It's okay. I'm feeling a lot of emotions too.”

“You're not crying, though.”

“Just because I'm crying doesn't mean I'm not feeling anything.” He pulls back just enough that you look up again to whine about why, but then you lock eyes with him and every word in your throat dies. “Remember? You're the one who said crying was an overused tool to make characters show emotion.”

Fuck. You did say that. You said that on like your second time meeting him when you went off on a rant about cliches and tropes and ended with the caveat that while they can be done well, some people just overuse them for the heck of it and you hate it. “I can't believe you remember that fucking rant,” you mutter.

“I remember a lot of things about you.” Taehyun smiles. Your heart is on its way to beating out of your chest again. “Sorry, was that too cheesy?”

“Yes,” you snap, but Taehyun's smile only widens. “Stop it. You're going to send me into cardiac arrest for the second time.”

He raises an eyebrow. “Second time?”

“Yeah, the first was when I saw your abs.”

That was a terrible thing to say. Horrible. For you and for Taehyun. You because you can't get the image out of your brain for the nth time, and Taehyun because his ears are turning red again.

“… Sorry.”

“It's... fine.” Taehyun coughs a little, but it doesn't sound like a sick cough. More like a clearing his throat cough. It sounds kind of shy, which is very cute. “Sorry. I'm just kind of... shy about it.”

You blink. “Why are you shy about your fucking abs?”

“I just am.” Taehyun pouts and you kind of want to slap it off. Or kiss it. Or both. None of those choices are probably a good idea at the moment.

Silence kind of falls for a moment. It's not that uncomfortable. The tension from before is gone, at least. But then Taehyun has to ruin it with his sweet little voice and sweet little smile. Bastard.

“I don't think you ever responded to my confession,” he says, once again trapping you with his dark eyes that you can't seem to look away from in times like these.

You make a very intelligent noise. It sounds something like 'uh.'

“I said I like you.” Taehyun is taking no prisoners now. Actually, he'll have your heart soon if he keeps looking at you like this. “Do you have anything to say to that?”

“... I told you already that I had a dumb kid crush on you.”

Taehyun shrugs. “Does that dumb kid crush mean you still like me too?”

You stare at him for a moment. “Are you really going to make me say it?”

He grins. “Yeah.”

“You're a terrible human being, Kang Taehyun.” You jab a finger into his chest, which was absolutely the wrong thing to do because it is hard and muscled and now you're having bad thoughts again. About abs. “I feel like a fucking middle schooler,” you mutter. “I like you.”

“Could you say it again?” Your jaw drops as Taehyun looks at you, all doe-eyed and innocent with so much evil brimming behind that sweet expression. A true demon in disguise. “I didn't really hear you.”

You stare at him for one second. Two. Three.

It's like it happens in slow motion. You watch your arm shoot out, fingers grabbing a fistful of the front of Taehyun's shirt. You watch yourself jerk the arm back, see Taehyun's eyes widen for a just a moment before—

You're kissing him. You're kissing Kang Taehyun, your editor, your good friend, the boy you just nursed back to health like three days ago, the guy you've had a dumb idiot crush on for longer than is probably healthy and who apparently has a dumb idiot crush on you too.

Taehyun makes this small noise into your mouth and your brain promptly goes blank.

When you come to, you've both pulled away, somehow, and you're trying to breathe properly. Which is an ordeal, considering you just kissed Taehyun—you just kissed Taehyun—and remembering that in and of itself is taking all of your brainpower. There's none left for air.

“I like you, Taehyun,” you say too loudly and too clearly, but it's worth it for the sparkly doe-eyed look that burst full force into Taehyun's expression. Yeah. The imminent cardiac arrest is totally worth it.

Wait. Cardiac arrest. Your mind whirls. Hospital. Sick.

Taehyun was sick two days ago.

“Oh, shit.”

Taehyun blinks like he's just come back to Earth. “What?”

You try for a sheepish smile. “So, uh. What are the chances of me getting sick, now that I've kissed you?”

(You succumb to chills, snot, and a light fever exactly one day after your deadline has passed. Taehyun arrives with an overnight bag, plenty of disinfecting wipes, and several surgical masks that he wears the entire time he's here. Which is nice because he shouldn't get sick a second time, but also terrible because you can't kiss him.

It's okay, though. Because when you're finally feeling well once more, the two of you go to meet your publisher at the office, and Taehyun doesn't let go of your hand the whole way there. And when you leave, in full view of the entire lobby and all of your friends parked at various angles around it—

He kisses you. Once, soft, light, gentle.

Someone gasps. Someone else screams.

Grinning widely, you pull him in for a second one immediately after.)

If you enjoyed, please don’t forget to reblog and leave a comment to tell me what you thought! Thank you for reading and have a lovely day <3

(1 reblog = 1 flower over my fucking casket I'm so down bad for taehyun it’s a problem)

[holy-weak]

i distinctly remember you liking snarry. do you happen to be in possession of any fic recs you'd be willing to share? if not, i totally understand and hope you're having a nice day

Dear god do I love snarry. It's been my otp for well over a decade, despite the fact that I've never written a single word for it. (Maybe someday that will change? I hope so.)

Sometimes I feel like I've read everything there is to read, but eventually there always comes more. Suffice it to say, I've read a lot of snarry. My favorites, though, are pretty popular, and they've changed as I've aged. (Adolescent me was ready to die for SnapesFavorite to finish In This World For You.) Now, however, my top 5 in no particular order...

⚡@perverse-idyll , The White Road.

One day, comfortably set up in the afterlife, Lily Evans Potter switches on the telly and gets hooked on the Harry Potter show.

I read this again very recently and everytime it tears me apart. I also very much enjoyed listening to perverse_idyll talk about this work on the @fanficmaverickpodcast . She speaks just as brilliantly as she writes, and having more insight into this treasure of a fic was so cool to hear.

⚡@liladiurne , Brighter Than Bright.

England, 1814. At twenty years old, Harry Weasley is a clever, if somewhat sheltered Omega who has hardly ever left the small town of Hogsmeade, where he grew up. He would not say that he is lonely, just that the days are too long. Now that most of his siblings have moved on, Harry occupies his time the best he can while dreaming of London high society. Nothing much interests him apart from his books and the letters he receives from his brothers, so when the news arrives that the Longbottom heir has returned to take ownership of his father’s estate, Harry doesn’t make much of it. After all, it couldn’t possibly affect him. Nor could the arrival of a certain Mr Snape, the rude and arrogant Alpha who deems Harry “barely tolerable.” No, none of that could possibly affect Harry’s life, could it?

Why yes, this is the Pride and Prejudice inspired a/b/o snarry fic you’ve all been secretly craving!

I'm not usually one for a/b/o fics, but I do love a good Pride & Prejudice AU, so it won me over immediately. Currently a WIP, but don't let that discourage you. LilaDiurne is a master and she'll surely deliver. (It does have a fun little spot of Harry/Lucius, which I'm almost sorry wasn't the main pairing for this fic!)

⚡mia_ugly's entire collection of work... but okay I want to talk about However I Fall.

In one timeline, Severus lives. In the other, he dies.

In both, he falls in love.

So. This fic was originally published in 2015 and I have been thinking of it ever since. It is, unfortunately, a WIP, but any shred of a sentence written by mia_ugly is worth experiencing at least a dozen times. I know the phrase is cliché, but she's genuinely one of those writers where I'd read her grocery list. I read her entire HP collection at least once a year. Like all of her work, However I Fall is devastating and gorgeous and so full of heart.... God I wish it was finished.

⚡@mia-ugly , Rapture.

Snape sees the man, for the first time, on his twenty-fifth birthday.

It was a hard call between this one and Night Watch, which I love with a similar passion. This was the first fic I ever read of mia_ugly's and it's one of those works that reminds me how important and fantastic it is to be a writer. The skill with which she writes pulls emotions from me that any fiction rarely can. This is a favorite of so many snarry fans for a reason. (That very first scene hits me so hard every time. I have to brace myself for it. Please read Rapture.)

⚡@chickenpets', Pacify.

He would do his duty. He would save Draco, if he could. He would protect the students, if and when the school fell to the Deatheaters. And Potter. As far as he was concerned, Potter could have whatever he wanted, now. What was the point of trying to tell him no if he was going to be sacrificed on the pyre of the greater good? If Potter wanted to learn, Severus would be his teacher. If he wanted a master, then Severus would make him submit. And if he wanted a lover... well. Severus would love him. And that was it. Anything else was a waste of time. And there was so little of that.

This fic, although relatively new, has already become a classic for the ship. It's a WIP but there is so much to read already, it won't feel so painful to catch up. It has so much of what I enjoy - student/teacher, wartime, an absurdly powerful Harry, weird sex - that I think it'll be in my top 5 for the rest of time, come what may. Chickenpets, conveniently, was also interviewed on the Fanfic Maverick Podcast, and her comments on not only Pacify but the characters in general were so interesting to hear. I'll probably listen to it again soon. I hesitate to say this is THE snarry to read if you've never read any, but then again... I'm saying it.

All this being said, anon, please let me know which ones you decide to read and how you like them! 💓

[r3almellow]

Trust Me (Gavin x Mia!OC Commission Fic)

I was commissioned to do a jealousy fic for Gavin and MC with our favorite CEO being the root of the problem! So glad that I finally have this piece done! When it comes to Gavin, you guys know I think he’s the KING OF JEALOUSY. Like I feel like he’d be so petty towards whoever he thinks is trying to still his girl away. This was a welcomed challenge for me because I get to kind of tap into Gavin and his relationship with MC in a more angsty filled way! Thank you my precious anon for commissioning this fic to be done. I truly hope its to your liking. 

Words: 4K

Notes: MC’s name in this fic will be Mia per the request of my dear anon. Because this story is kinda long I put most of it under the cut. 

Warning: NSFW 

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Gavin scowled at his phone, reading the text message he had just received for what felt like the tenth time. 

Mia @ 6:16: Working late tonight. I’ll call you on my way home! Love you!

This wasn’t the first time Mia, Gavin’s girlfriend, had sent a text like this in a span of three weeks. She had been working a lot lately, spending most of her time at the office. It was only recently she had gotten promoted which meant she would be working very closely with the CEO of LFG, Victor Li. Gavin would be a liar if he said he wasn’t feeling a little jealous, but could anyone blame him? Victor Li was a man who built an empire at a young age, had the money, the accomplishments, and sex appeal most in his field dreamed of having. Any woman would be lucky to have him. 

Gavin wasn’t the type to compare himself to other men. He was content with how he lived his life and while he wasn’t as well off as the prestigious investor, Gavin lived in a nice apartment with his plants and girlfriend. A simple and humble lifestyle for a simple and humble guy.  His only hope was that what he had was enough for Mia. Of course, he wanted to pamper her and give her the world because that’s the kind of love she deserved, but that was sometimes easier said than done. 

“You might burn a hole in your phone if you keep glaring at it like that.” Gavin’s expression didn’t change as he looked up at the person who dared to interrupt him when he was supposed to be working.

Eli, who was immune to Gavin’s deadly gaze after years of working together, casually sat in the chair across from him with a knowing smirk.

“Let me guess…your girl working another late night with her boss?” 

Gavin didn’t answer, only tossing his phone to the side to resume filling out the mission report he had ignored for the past twenty minutes. 

“Isn’t this like the third time this week?” Gavin couldn’t help but grip the pen in his hand tightly at the question. More like the 8th time in almost a month. Gavin hated feeling this way, but the fact that he hasn’t spent any quality time with his girlfriend was starting to eat at him. 

It’s been two months since they had moved in together and yet they had barely had time for one another. He knew how demanding her job was with this new promotion and he was barely home as it is with his own job, but the moments they actually spent together these days felt nonexistent. He’d come home to her already fast asleep or on days he had off she’d be gone for most of the day swamped with paperwork and meetings. Now he was getting “I’ll be late” texts from her more often than he would like. 

Eli leaned back in his chair to observe his friend. “You remember that one woman I was talking to? The cute barista? Ah..she was really cute. The dates were great and the sex? Let me tell you the sex wa-”

“Your point?” Gavin really wasn’t in the mood to hear Eli go down memory lane about one of the many women he had taken to bed. Eli was a good guy, but his taste in women was sometimes questionable to say the least. 

“Patience, my dear agent. Anyways, remember she broke things off with me a few months back, claiming that she wasn’t ‘looking for a relationship’? Just the other day I found out she’s engaged to some Italian businessman! Can you believe that?” 

Gavin wasn’t a fool to misunderstand the implications behind Eli’s story, but before he reacted he wanted Eli to explain himself. 

“What are you saying?” Gavin leaned back in his chair with folded arms, his voice seeping venom. Eli knew better than to speak ill of Mia in any way, especially in Gavin’s presence. Whatever was about to come out of Eli’s mouth next would determine whether or not he would leave this room with all his teeth intact. 

Eli sat there unphased.

“Relax! Mia’s a total sweetheart, but a single rich businessman like him might want to take advantage of that fact. I’m just saying a cute innocent office worker willing to do anything they can to help their company might be right up his alley.” 

If this was Eli’s way of soothing the raging beast that was slipping through the cracks of the wall Gavin strategicly built to prevent himself from ending up in jail for murder then his so called friend was doing a really crappy job. 

Gavin didn’t doubt that Mia loved him with every fiber of her being, but he couldn’t stop that nagging feeling that the time she spent with the super successful businessman would entice her in some way. She’d never cheat. No. But…her leaving Gavin for someone who could probably pull Rolls-Royce out of their ass and take her on expensive trips every week if she desired, could be a possibility. 

As if Eli could feel the dread radiating off his unhappy partner he spoke again this time with a little more compassion.

“Hey, don’t beat yourself up over it! I’m sure Mia’s not being charmed by her crazy rich and super hot boss.” It was official, Eli sucked at pep-talks.

“I swear I’m going to punch you if you say one mor-” Eli put his hands up signifying he was backing off from the subject.

“No need to be so violent! Come on, why don’t we go grab a few drinks and hang! Meet you outside the locker room in ten minutes?” Gavin was ready to decline the offer not wanting to be in Eli’s presence at the moment, but he also didn’t want to go home to an empty apartment reminded of the fact that Mia was spending more time with her boss than she was with him.

Maybe a drink wouldn’t hurt.

~

One drink quickly turned into five so by the end of his night out with Eli it was safe to say Gavin was a little buzzed. He was good enough to make his way home, but two more bottles of beer would’ve definitely sealed his fate.

The journey home wasn’t too bad aside from the rain he had to deal with halfway into his trip. That was probably one of the downsides to using his trusty motorcycle, Sparky, on a daily basis. There was always a possibility of rain and with rain it sometimes led to him being completely drenched. Luckily he was sheltered by his leather jacket and biker helmet. He was even luckier when the pouring rain turned into a light drizzle by the time he got home. 

Parking his motorcycle he pulled out his phone to check it. He hoped Mia had gotten home before the rain started, but the five missed calls and three text messages from Mia might have proven otherwise.

Mia @ 9:30pm: Hey! I’m not sure if you’re still working, but it looks like it's going to rain! I’m going to run to the store to pick up a few things and head home before the rain starts. Be safe!

Mia @ 10:15: Totally missed the bus and now I’m soaking wet! I’m going to try to get a taxi!

Mia @ 10:45: Made it home safely! I hope you’re okay! Please, call me when you can! 

Gavin checked the time realizing her last message was sent a few minutes ago. He mentally kicked himself for having his phone on silent. He didn’t even remember turning the ringer off on the stupid thing. 

He sent back a quick text confirming his arrival and heaved out a frustrated sigh. He shoved the phone into his pocket and made his way to the doors of the apartment building. When the front doors came into view a well dressed figure standing in the way caught his attention. 

A tall man with jet black hair who was holding an umbrella, stood by the entrance completely engrossed with his phone, texting whosoever at rapid speed. The slightly open long black coat he wore gave Gavin just enough view of the business suit that laid underneath. He looked important. Too important to be waiting outside an apartment building in the rain. 

As if feeling the impending presence the man looked up and their eyes locked for a few seconds. The raven haired man’s expression was filled with annoyance. But he quickly relaxed, probably realizing Gavin wasn’t the type to be intimidated by his stare.

“My apologies.” Was all the man said before stepping to the side to give Gavin passage, holding up the phone he was aggressively tapping against, to his ear.

“Goldman, I see the Milan meeting was rescheduled to tomorrow morning instead of the 15th. Who approved this change?” His voice was almost authoritarian like as he gave whoever this “Goldman” was an earful. Yeah, he was definitely important. 

Gavin didn’t spend too much time thinking about the brief encounter. The person who was actually worth his time was waiting for him and she was more important. 

When he got into the apartment he found Mia coming out of the bathroom in only a large tshirt and a towel on her shoulders.  

“Baby!” Mia happily walked up to him with a huge smile on her face. Gavin smiled back as he shrugged off his jacket just in time to catch her in a tight hug. Gavin breathed in the sweet scent of the soap she used and sighed happily. There was something rewarding about coming home to Mia after almost a full day of working. He was able to leave all the stress behind the minute he had her in his arms.

“I was starting to get worried when you didn’t answer my calls.” Mia pouted. He loved when she pouted like that. She looked so adorable and it made her lips look extremely kissable. 

He planted a quick kiss against her lips and gave her an apologetic look. 

“Sorry, my ringer was off. I would’ve been home sooner if Eli didn’t drag me out for drinks. You didn’t have too much trouble getting home, did you?” 

Mia shook her head, removing herself from his arms. He watched as she made her way into the kitchen most likely trying to find something to eat. 

“Aside from missing the bus? Nope! My boss just so happened to be in the area and took me home.” Gavin was halfway through taking off his shoes when her words forced him to stop. 

“Your boss took you home?” He didn’t mean for his question to be filled with so much irritation, he really tried to mask it but the thought of Mia having to rely on someone else to insure her safety made his blood boil. 

“Yeah! He saw me trying to hail a taxi and offered me a ride!” Gavin’s body tensed. Was that the guy he saw outside? 

His expression grew dark. Why did that guy feel the need to take her home? Was it the gentlemanly thing to do? Or did he have other intentions for his precious Mia? Whatever the reason it left a bad taste in Gavin’s mouth. 

“I should’ve picked you up.” Gavin responded flatly.

Mia only smiled as if trying to cheer him up.

“It’s okay! Victor insisted on taking me home. I thought it was going to be super awkward but we had a pretty nice conversation. He thanked me for all my hardwork and even joked that my Christmas bonus would be enough to get me a car.” She laughed. Gavin didn’t laugh, not even a smile graced his lips. 

“You two are on a first name basis now?” 

She laughed sheepishly completely unaware of the ticking time bomb before her. “Oh! I-I…well since we’ve been spending so much time together we…” 

Mia trailed off, probably noticing the muscles in Gavin’s jaw tensing up and how his face became completely unreadable. In a matter of seconds she was in front of him again, lightly touching his arm.

“Hey, honey, are you okay?” She was worried about him and even so, Gavin didn’t feel at ease at all. 

“I just don’t understand why you have to spend all this time with him.” He probably sounded like a jealous child craving his mother’s attention but at that moment he didn’t care. 

Mia only shrugged, still not understanding what had gotten Gavin so riled up.

“Well with my current position I kind of have to.”

Gavin’s lips twisted into a deep frown. “Doesn’t he have an assistant for all this? All these late night hours and for what?” 

Mia crossed her arms, a confused look highlighting her face as if realizing this was becoming an issue. 

“Gavin, his assistant can’t do what I can.” 

“I bet they can’t…” Gavin mumbled. There was a part of him that hoped she didn’t hear him, but luck was not on his side. 

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Her eyes narrowed. He debated for a split second on saying anything, wondering if it made sense to disclose what’s been plaguing his mind for weeks.  

“It doesn’t matter. Not like things are going to change anyway.” He tried to walk past her, the couch in the living room calling out to him like it was a safe haven, but she blocked his path. He should’ve known her stubbornness wasn’t going to let this go. 

“What’s the problem? Your attitude changes the minute I start talking about work and suddenly you want to brush thi-” 

“The problem is, you’ve been spending so much time at work that I can’t help but think that…” Gavin stopped himself. What exactly did he think? He never really thought it out completely. 

It didn’t take Mia long to figure out what he was implying. Her expression turned serious as she took a few steps back to look at him.

“That what? That I’m cheating on you with my boss?” When she spoke it was like pounds of guilt fell on top of him. Just the idea of his Mia being in the arms of some well-off pompous jerk pissed him off, but what did that say about Mia? Not once did Gavin think so lowly of Mia to do such a thing, but it would take two to tango. However, he would never….fuck… This wasn’t Gavin’s intention at all.  

“I-I didn’t say that.” 

“No, but that’s what you’re thinking. You’ve been thinking that I’d rather spend my nights screwing my boss than being with my boyfriend who, let us not forget, spends days or sometimes weeks at a time away from home.” 

She had a point there, but it wasn’t his fault that his job was so demanding.

“Mia, that’s not fair. I-” Poor choice of words. Gavin could see the building anger in Mia’s eyes. 

“Fair? You want to talk about fair? Every time you left on some dangerous mission, not once did I ever think that another person would come along and take you away from me. Some bad guy with a thirst for violence, maybe. Or someone with itchy trigger fingers get..getting you right between…the eyes.” Her voice broke towards the end and it was at that moment Gavin realized just how much of an idiot he was. 

If there was one thing he hated in this world it was to see Mia cry and to know that he was the reason for her tears, absolutely devastated him. He reached out to touch her to let her know that it wasn't his intention to hurt her like this, but she immediately pulled away. His hand shrinked back to his side.

“Since we’ve been living together, I’ve spent countless nights in bed alone, worried out of my mind because the person I love more than anything was out there risking his life almost everyday! But I supported you and I will always support you… Why? Because I love you. I love you so damn much! And for you to…to even insinuate that I would ever…” The tears she had fought back now streamed down her cheeks, her lips quivering and face fighting to stop itself from contorting into something that would rip Gavin’s heart a part. 

“Mia…” He tried again, but she held up a hand to stop him. 

“I’m going to bed.” Her voice was monotonous as if all the life had been sucked out of her. She turned away from him, marching right into their shared bedroom. The door closed with a soft click. Not even a slam. This was bad. 

Gavin was left standing there unsure of what to do. Maybe waiting until tomorrow to talk was a better idea. He could take the couch to give her space, but Gavin knew in his heart that he couldn’t let this sit until morning. He didn’t like the idea of going to bed with issues unresolved and he sure as hell didn’t like knowing that Mia was crying her eyes out because of how much of an idiot he was. 

He had to make this right. 

When Gavin entered the room he found Mia curled up in bed, her back facing the door. The sound of her sniffles were so hard to hear and he had no one to blame but himself for that.

Carefully, he got into bed and slowly inched his way over to her side. When she made no effort to move away he took it as an opportunity to hold her, not too tight in case she wanted to get away from him, but tight enough for her to know that he wasn’t going anywhere. He honestly didn’t think he’d make it this far, but he wasn’t going to count his blessings just yet. 

As the seconds ticked by Gavin grew hesitant in the deafening silence, unsure of how to express his sincerest apology. Expressing himself through words really wasn’t his strong suit, but he had to try. 

With a soft sigh he began speaking. 

“Mia, I’m sorry…I…” He paused, trying to piece together the right words. 

“I didn’t mean to accuse you of anything. I swear to you that I would never suggest that you would ever do something like that. I…” He stopped himself for a second and tightened his hold on her, burying his face in her hair. He inhaled and let out a shaky breath before continuing.

“I should’ve realized that this is just as hard on you as it is on me and I know I’m a complete asshole and I just…I just want to be good enough for you. I want to do everything I can to make you happy and I don’t want to screw this up. Having you in my life means more to me than you’ll ever know and I know I don’t show it often, but I’m grateful that you’re with me. I really am. I don’t want this to be what separates us. So please…talk to me.” There was so much more he wanted to say, but if he continued any further he was sure he’d be a rambling mess. 

Mia shifted slightly in his hold before abruptly sitting up and looking at him with puffy red eyes. It took everything in his power for Gavin to not reach out to touch her for fear that it would make matters worse. 

He made an effort to sit up with her, but was immediately stopped by Mia burying her face into his chest. Gavin laid there stunned for a brief moment before finally putting his arms around her. 

“You’re an idiot.” He heard her muffled words and released a breath he didn’t know he was holding. This was a step in the right direction. 

“I know…” He chuckled bitterly.

Mia sighed heavily and looked up at him. Gavin took this as an opportunity to gently stroke her cheek, wiping away the stray tears. Mia leaned into his touch impulsively. 

“I need you to trust me like I trust you.” Her voice was hoarse but firm. 

“I do! I trust you with everything! With my life and with...with my heart.” It was true. He’d trust Mia with his very soul if it were possible. 

“Then trust me when I say you’re all I’ve ever wanted and this life we share together is one I would never give up for anything in the world. You’re all I need. And if I’m doing something that ever makes you feel less than enough then I need you to tell me.” 

He was ready to refute her words, wanting to assure her that she could never make him feel that way, but she wasn’t going to let that happen.

“Promise me.” She said sternly.

“I promise.” 

She seemed pleased with his answer and lightly brushed her lips against his. Not exactly giving him the satisfaction of feeling her lips against his own, but Gavin was in no position to complain. 

“I’m still mad at you…” She repeated her affectionate touch this time giving him a firm but quick kiss. 

“That’s okay. I deserve it.” Another kiss lasting seconds longer than the first. Mia skillfully slid her hand under his shirt, the pads of her fingertips immediately coming into contact with his toned abs. It was clear exactly what she wanted and who was Gavin to deny the unspoken request? 

“You do.” 

This time it was he who initiated the kiss, their lips molding together perfectly. 

It was only a matter of time before Gavin had her under him, clothes discarded, their bodies finally surrounding themselves in each other's warmth. Gavin lost count of how many kisses he left along Mia’s beautiful body, but no matter the number he wanted her to know-to feel how much he wanted to worship her. 

His calloused hands glided along every dip and curve, already having his favorites spots etched to memory. His lips latched onto one of her nipples lightly sucking on the sensitive bud. Mia instinctively arched her back wanting more of her lover’s ministrations. 

Gavin teasingly tugged on her hardened nipple with his teeth, which earned him a surprised gasp, before kissing down her torso. Lower and lower his lips went until he found himself in between her legs. 

He was so close. 

The heat radiating from her was so inviting, like it was a place he could see himself nuzzled up against for the rest of his days in pure comfort. To be perfectly honest, if he could spend the rest of his life with his face buried between her legs he’d never complain and take on the task of pleasuring her as an honor. 

Mia’s hands gripped his hair gently, tugging at his messy tresses, coaxing him to continue. 

That was all he needed to descend upon her waiting heat like a man yearning for the only thing that could quench his thirst. 

He firmly gripped her hips to keep her still as he gingerly sucked on her clit. Mia tried to roll her hips begging for more contact but his hold on her made it difficult. He was hellbent on selfishly having his fill undisturbed.

With the flick of his tongue she sang for him a tune so lewd, so intoxicating, so mesmerizing, he couldn’t help but want to hear more. 

“Gav, I…I-ah!” Her thighs closed around his head, trapping him as if he would ever escape. He could practically taste how close she was. 

She was trembling. 

So close. 

“Ba-baby…” She moaned for him.

He groaned into her as a response, his focus never leaving his meal. Seconds later he felt her hand rest upon the top of his head, pushing him away. But why? Was she really going to deny him the pleasure of making her reach an orgasm? Was this punishment?

He rose from his position and blinked back a questionable look. He must’ve looked so disheveled with his face covered in her juices and hair tossed in different directions, but he honestly didn’t care. He was starving. He needed to have her. 

Mia sat up and beckoned for him to come forward with a finger, drawing him into a kiss so passionate it almost left him breathless. 

“Let me ride you…” She whispered against his lips. 

Gavin could barely think to answer; he was more focused on her hand that snuck their way down his chest inching closer and closer to his throbbing shaft. 

“But this is about yo-” His breath hitched at the feeling of Mia’s hands firmly gripping his cock. She stroked him once before giving him a chaste kiss. 

“Exactly and I…wanna ride you.”

She was toying with him now and like a lovestruck puppy he let her. 

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AND SCENE! What did you guys think? I really hope everyone likes the story! If you would like to commission me please send me a message and we can talk! If you want to read more of my MLQC stuff please check out my masterpost!