#well that just happened

[megahorous]

Milk Can:  Lammy vs. Rammy !

[dutchysasscheek]

Ok so this happened a while ago but I need you guys to hear this shit.

I was camping somewhere near the creepy ranch (I forgot how it’s called), I wanted to quick travel to the camp since I had a lot of good pelts and I didn’t wanted to risk getting killed from bounty hunters.

This bitch just came up, yapped a whole 5 minutes about herself and her miserable life, SCARING MY BOY ARTHUR. Arthur didn’t say a WORD, HE WAS JUST SITTING THERE LIKE „bitch tf do you want from me????😭“, then she stood up and run away because „SIR WHY DO YOU LOOK LIKE THAT? YOURE A CREEP! LEAVE ME ALONE!?“ like girl…….

[yummycrummy]

*gives you a cereal bar and scurries away before getting hit by a car and exploding*

[cuteteacakes]

{🗡️} - "STAY AWAY FROM MY PRINCESS, YOU!!"

{🐗} - "????????"

[topbottomswitchblade]

t4t sex includes

suck dick during horror movie

frot strap and packer

lay next to each other afterwards and massage top surgery scars

[gatoburr0]

Imagine crying on your way home because of a heavy discussion with your mom and then hear a loud bang and look up to someone crashing your side mirror

[aceofjades-16billion]

[potato756]

All hail the fish king as our new overlord

[ezekiel13]

Every now and then I think of that one time my English teacher mixed up the two world wars when doing an Inspector Calls analysis for a solid ~5 minutes until I interrupted them and was like “that’s the wrong world war”

[6-nerd]

*dissapears as a tree symbol flashes*

The fuck?

[norrussells]

Lawrence Stroll is pimping out his son fr… DILFs lining up around the block

Aston Martin Ltd. were forced to go into liquidation last year after an unsuccessful gamble during the Las Vegas Grand Prix caused Lawrence to cut wages and disobey safety regulations in the factory, which resulted in enough insurance claims to fill the centrally heated swimming pool in their backyard. Anyway, one Managing Director embezzlement scandal led to another employee put on redundancy, and soon the Stroll family were forced to sell their assets. As in, the entire house.

Lawrence is not a landlord, which should've been brought into consideration when he signed their estate as collateral. He was 27 then, what did he know at that age? His heir, Lance, barely attended private school. He always snuck out to play hockey with his gang. Of course this was known whenever he got a call from the Headmaster to confirm that unless he achieves As on a repetitive basis for all his subjects henceforth, it was expulsion. Lawrence gives a haughty laugh at the thought now.

"Dad... why are you laughing?" Lance enquires. It was a strange time to be positive.

"Well, we need some semblance of happiness in these times, and I'm sure these men here in front of us will make you very happy, yes?"

A semblance. This is what we've come to.

Lance perishes the thought and disguises his face into one of assumable joy, plastering a grin with the hope that his pearls can intice the men in front of him.

Fernando and Flavio are their names. Lance will have to remember them. He'll be living in their house as an escort indefinitely.

[grollow]

Well alright

I feel like I've been sucker punched right now

I'm gonna just sit here and stare off into space

[mikeellee]

And now...I posted officially 100 posts in this hellhole (ok. To be exact 101)

Meh. Wont buy anything but thanks Tumblr

[ximerose]

yeah if poseidon could chill the fuck out that'd be Great no one wants an earthquake AND a tropical storm smh

[builder051]

You know you’re old when…

you’re putting on tunes and almost jump out of your skin when Jason Derulo isn’t censored…😳

Ah, jk, I’m really just in here to wave a flag as sign of life. I’ve been doing things at home and at the ballet school. I am jazzed to write (probably some one-shot humor h/c sickfic stuff). I just need a moment to find a notebook and concentrate. Apparently not while enjoying background music. :)

[bloodmoon24]

Oh, wow. Ain’t that a coincidence?