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lovestuckyhatemarvel · 1 year ago

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Oh hello, episode 4. Let’s see if you have more memorable things than the first three episodes did.

1.) It’s hard for Max to see that Billy is wrong ‘cause he’s always a kind of a jerk.

2.) I love Max telling El about comic books, especially Wonder Woman.

3.) I forgot how crazy the old woman is acting when they take her away in an ambulance.

4.) I can’t remember if Heather survives this season, but she’s gonna need a lot of therapy if she does survive and does remember it, because leaving her begging, sobbing parents in a basement to be possessed isn’t something you really get over.

5.) Real shitty of the mindflayer for making people be awake for the possession. Like c’mon.

6.) Why is Hopper not in a hospital?

7.) The boys are terrible at communication.

8.) Robin has a plan and took all the tips.

9.) I had thought that Heather’s dad looked familiar and had already forgotten until I saw him again that he’s the douchebag head of the paper.

10.) Is Mrs. Driscoll actually a paranoid schizophrenic or were they just having this man be weird?

11.) Nancy and Jonathan got fired.

12.) We gotta get El on a roller coaster.

13.) Learning about hosts for the Mind Flayer.

14.) Larry is a terrible liar. You’d think a politician would be a better liar. Actually scratch that, that makes sense.

15.) It is very hard to blackmail someone who has blackmail on you too.

16.) “Don’t give me that dead daughter sob story, because I just don’t care.” Shocked Hopper only broke his nose and not killed him.

17.) Ohhhhh. I forgot Hopper threatens to chop the man’s finger off with a cigar cutter.

18.) “Oliver Twist routine” Nancy really is classist. Also if Ted Wheeler really did make 6 figures in the 1980s, they really really were well off.

19.) Dustin is like Gumbo.

20.) I didn’t know Billy even owned a shirt. Did the Mind Flayer have to go shopping?

21.) ‘Boys only’? You’re being dumb, Mike.

22.) Having Erica be a huge fan of capitalism sucks. Bare minimum I need someone to have her eventually grow out of this immature phase and be like, “yeah, no, that was stupid. Capitalism sucks.” Because kids, capitalism sucks. It hurts everyone but the ultra rich.

23.) I forgot the mayor keeps the papers in his ugly house.

24.) I really do like to see Hopper outside of his work uniform. I also like to see JOyce putting stuff together.

25.) Aw, Nancy actually went to her mom.

26.) Like this is really a surface level reading of feminism to think ‘I am a woman and therefore damn the fallout and consequences because I am woman, hear me roar’ is the end all to be all. Like I love Nancy and Karen talking and loving each other but she did still blow up Jonathan’s spot and refer to him talking about his economic circumstances as ‘Oliver twist routine’. Like that was fucked up.

27.) I forgot how genuinely worried Max was about Billy. She really really hoped it wasn’t Billy that was the new host.

28.) Operation Child Endangerment is a great name, don’t let anyone tell you otherwise, Erica.

29.) You’d think a guy like a mayor would have handcuff keys by his bed.

30.) Steve is so fucking worried up until Erica walks through those doors.

31.) The wild thing is I’ve thought Billy’s actor, Dacre, is attractive in other things, but I do not think he’s attractive at all as Billy. Like both because of the hair and the attitude. He’s just terminally unfuckable to me. And it’s one of the many reasons I hate Steve/Billy. I also hate Eddie/Billy.

32.) Billy hit the back wall hard enough to break tiles. Either that or they’re shitty tiles.

33.) Fun fact, HIPAA didn’t exist until the 90s so the only thing stopping Nancy from just being a concerned neighbor getting answers would be hospital policy and how willing to talk the front desk woman is.

34.) “If you die, I die.” “…Okay.”

35.) I forgot that the fucking elevator plummets like it’s a goddamn roller coaster ride.

36.) I had blocked out Billy sobbing in the sauna and saying ‘he made me do it’ entirely.

37.) Max is so sad and so worried about Max.

38.) if Will didn’t have Spidey senses, Max would have gotten stabbed with broken tile and sauna glass.

39.) I forgot Billy gets pinned to the wall with weights and it keeps cutting back to Mrs. Driscoll looking horrifying.

40.) I also forgot that Billy’s body is forced to choke El. Also that Mike is the one who takes a bat to possessed Billy to save her.

41.) And then Billy got thrown through a brick wall before getting up and walking off.

42.) There’s so many people in that abandoned factory.

#stranger things #stranger things rewatch #s3e4 #stranger things s3e4

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stillbandofbrothersthirsty · 4 years ago

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As Far As Friends Go

Chapter 9 (Chapter 1; Chapter 2; Chapter 3; Chapter 4; Chapter 5; Chapter 6; Chapter 7; Chapter 8)

****TW: Please beware that this chapter mentions miscarriages and may be triggering.

Emily - March 1944

The world seemed to narrow in around them. The black sky felt heavy, draping them in a blanket of privacy where all time seemed to stop. Nixon looked frozen staring at her.

“What?” Nixon sounded gobsmacked.

She could only imagine what she looked like standing there in front of him. Her hair was down - he rarely saw it down since she was always in uniform. The icy breeze blew wild strands of auburn across her rosy nose and cheeks. Emily had rushed out of the hospital and had spent the entire train ride back crying and doing her best to make sense of her emotions. She hadn’t thought once about checking her compact to fix her complexion or hair as her body brought her back to the base that had become her home.

All that ran through her mind was the vision of John’s hospital bed and the woman who sat beside him. As soon as she had seen that woman turn, her profile punctuated by her bulging stomach, it dawned on Emily that nothing but opportunity lay before her. She was no longer tied to this man. Everything Emily had ever wanted began with her returning to the airborne division of the United States army, so she immediately did just that.

“I’m free,” she repeated. She smiled up at him as tears filled her eyes, giving her a manic look.

“What do you mean? Why aren’t you in Worcestershire?” Emily shook her head as if in awe and Nixon wondered if she had gone mad.

“When I got there he had another woman at his bedside.” A tear ran down her cheek. Nixon stepped forward with an outstretched hand as if to comfort her. Emily quickly wiped the tear away, “no I’m okay, it’s okay.” Nixon stopped just in front of her. His eyebrows wove together in confusion and Emily knew she had to go on, “John was involved with another woman,” Emily swallowed as she felt her face grow red. She couldn’t help but feel a little embarrassed that she had been usurped by another woman. “They met in Liverpool when he first docked over two years ago, before Italy. Almost immediately after he left the states actually,” Emily laughed a bitter laugh. “And she’s pregnant, with their second child.”

Nixon let out a low whistle. This caused Emily to burst into a fit of giggles. She didn’t know why- she wasn’t sure why she was responding this way at all. The entire train ride back to Aldbourne her mind had gone in circles trying to make sense of everything that had happened in the short morning she had spent at the convalescent hospital. The plan she had when she first arrived in England was completely shot to dust. What would her parents think? What would they say? Who cares what they had to say, Emily reminded herself. That was her new mantra. The end of her relationship hadn’t been her doing, she had done everything right. If anyone was at fault now it was John. Now free from guilt, Emily was free to make her future anything she wanted it to be.

Nixon was looking at her as if she was crazy when she finally recovered herself. “It’s fine, I’m fine.” She pressed two fingers against her temple and exhaled.

“Are you?” Nixon’s eyes were wide with bewilderment, “Emily that is.. that is fucked up. And you didn’t know?’’

“No! Didn’t even suspect,” Emily said almost laughing again, “although, a lot does make sense now. I may have accidentally received a few letters meant for her over the past couple years.”

“What did you mean you’re free?” Nixon was nearly a silhouette in the darkness though they were only standing inches away from each other. The gears were turning in Emily’s mind. She wasn’t sure how much she should reveal to him, but at this point did it matter?

His eyes narrowed. “What?” he asked.

“Can we go inside to talk? It’s cold.” Emily shivered for effect.

 Nixon took her suitcase and led her inside. By habit, they ended up back by their desks in the intelligence room. Officers filled every other comfortable room in the manor house but even so this work room was where they both felt comfortable.

“Coffee? Tea?” Nixon asked going over to the coffee station.

“Tea sounds lovely,” Emily said.

“You really like that stuff? It tastes like brown water to me.” Nixon disappeared to fill the kettle. When he returned he placed the piping hot pot on a crochet pad and set to preparing Emily’s mug with a strain of herbal tea leaves. It was sweet, Emily thought. He had such a look of concentration for such a simple task. Emily felt too restless to sit down so she leaned against Nixon’s desk as she waited for him to finish.

Eventually, Nixon handed her a well-steeped cup. He leaned against her own desk across from where she stood, a cup of steaming coffee in his hand.

“So what did you mean you’re free?” he asked. So much in Emily’s world had changed in the last twelve hours but Nixon was still his impetuous self.

Emily inhaled deeply, trying to think of how to best explain herself. “What I meant was, I finally feel free without a fiancee. My life, my career here, was on a timer and each day it ticked closer to the buzzer. Now that I’m not engaged I could do anything.”

“Sure, but free is an awfully dramatic word to use.”

Emily shrugged but Nixon didn’t miss her withholding smile. “It’s not like you were trapped, being engaged isn’t a death sentence,” Nixon cocked his head, “well, not complete death.”

“It wasn’t the end of the world, no,” Emily conceded, “but it wasn’t what I really wanted.”

“Then why were you engaged to him in the first place?”   Emily eyed Nixon wearily. “You can tell me,” he said soothingly, “I promise Em, you can trust me.”

Emily sipped her tea meditatively. Could she trust him? He had teased her over what she had confessed to him in the past.

 “Fine, you don’t have to tell me,” Nixon said, “but just know that I regret embarrassing you back then.” Nixon nudged his shoulder, gesturing back in time. “I shouldn’t have teased you about something sensitive, especially in front of Harry.”

Emily flushed hot at the mention of Harry. She had thought of him on the train. Then she had thought of Kitty. The woman she had only briefly seen in a little black and white photo, and a character that seemed further away the more she and Harry spent time together. If Emily had learned anything today it was that not all men were as noble as they seemed. A very deep-set, shameful part of Emily wondered if Harry weren’t as noble as he seemed.

“You have to promise, Lewis. If I tell you anything it stays here, between you and me.”

“Between you and me.”

Emily cleared her throat in preparation and took another sip of tea. “I met John at a Notre Dame social. I liked him enough at first. He was cute, still a boy, but entertaining enough. I was so bored at school and happy to have a distraction. And, I have to admit, I didn’t hate the other girls envy that I was on the arm of a Notre Dame football player.”

Nixon snorted, he couldn’t stand jocks. Emily glared at him. “Continue,” Nixon prompted with a wave of his hand.

“Anyway, things were fun, casual. And we began…” Emily circled her finger in a propelling movement, “ya know.”

“What?”

“We began having relations.”

“You slept together?”  

“Yes,” Emily said curtly, “which again was just fun and casual.” She paused, “but then I got pregnant.”

Nixon’s eyes widened. His expression said what everyone’s did; so where’s the baby? A steel hand clenched around Emily’s heart.   

“Obviously, it was a disaster when I found out. I wasn’t married, hadn’t graduated yet, but at least I had a guy on the hook. I didn’t know who was devastated more, me or my parents.” Emily’s gaze was far away now. She was falling away into the land of memory. The only thing anchoring her to the room was the hot mug clutched tightly between her hands. “I felt like my life was over. The best I could hope for was that John would make a decent woman out of me, which he did. He proposed. My parents, my mom, was thrilled and the wedding was rushed ahead. The hope was that we could be married before anyone realized this baby was conceived out of wedlock,” it was Emily’s turn to snort.

“But a few weeks before the big day I began bleeding,” Emily tried to swallow past the rock that had formed in her throat. The sorrow that had overwhelmed her then was edging itself back into her chest. “I lost the baby,” her voice was barely a whisper, it was all she could manage. “my mom thought John would cut and run. He had no reason to be with me anymore. She told me I was spoiled goods. She was terrified no other man would want me. I asked her why did anyone have to know? But in a town like ours, the size of ours, it was unavoidable. Everyone knew about the wedding and suspected the reason. Luckily, John didn’t cut and run. He honored our engagement. The wedding was pushed back but then Pearl Harbor happened, and John enlisted.” Reaching the end of her sad story, Emily finally looked at Nixon. His eyes were darker then she had ever seen them. His mouth was fixed in a taught line across his face. She couldn’t read him at all. He was probably disgusted by her - her recklessness, her lack of backbone and desperation for any man who would take her. “So, now you’re all caught up,” she said quietly.

“Emily,” when he finally spoke his voice was raspy, “I’m so sorry.”

Emily fought against the sobs that were forming in her chest, her throat and eyes. If she let the tears fall they wouldn’t be out of relief like before but tears of utter grief. A grief she didn’t have the energy to touch tonight. She shrugged, “yeah, well, apparently I was just an obligation to John. But that’s fine, he was only meant to be a fun time for me. We weren’t each others forever.”

The corner of Nixon’s mouth turned up, “careful, one may say you’re a romantic Miss Rooney.”

Emily smiled, “maybe one day. Not today, I’ve got a job to do.”

“Come here,” Nixon pulled her into a tight hug and Emily let him. She allowed her body to melt into him and allowed herself to, in that moment, be completely dependent on him. She exhaled her suppressed sadness gratefully into his broad chest. The lump in her throat grew stronger but she fought against it by concentrating on Nixon’s warm embrace, the smell of his aftershave and the roughness of his uniform against her cheek. All was well with the world, she reminded herself. Her future had never seemed more hopeful.

Finally, Nixon released her. “Ya know, George Luz is going to be thrilled to hear you’re single again.”

 Emily laughed a true laugh and punched him on the shoulder. “Leave it alone, Lew.”

#band of brothers #hbo band of brothers #fanfiction #as far as friends go #lewis nixon #lewis nixon x oc #original character #harry welsh #george luz #george luz x oc #harry welsh x oc #hbo war

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tenthgrove · 4 years ago

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L'inizio- A La Squadra Backstory Collection

Chapter 3: Due Cuori (Sorbet & Gelato Part 1)

Word Count: ~3800

Warnings: parental abandonment, homelessness, mildly-suggestive behaviour

The young boy sobs into the bag he’s carrying as he flees down the dark, damp street. The quick-paced footsteps of his pursuer sound loudly as they smack against the wet concrete. The boy prays for some rain to cover the sounds of his panting and running, but he knows such luck will not be afforded to him.

He is out of his depth in this part of Naples. Not yet 14, he’s one of many such young fools who thought it would be easy to snatch a little money from one of the smaller street gangs that roam this part of the town, making the crucial mistake of thinking ‘smaller’ was synonymous with less relentless. The boy has barely a moment to comprehend the dead end ahead of him before he is knocked sharply around the back of his head and sent reeling to the floor.

“Where the hell is my money, you shit?!” the angered man interrogates him sharply. He rears a clenched fist ready to strike him again, and the boy cowers against the wall.

“It’s there! Right there!” he shrieks desperately, pointing at the back dropped at his side. The man spits. He reaches into his pocket and pulls out a gun. “I swear Signor! The money’s there!” the boy pleads, his voice hitching in mortal terror. The man scoffs venomously.

“Yeah, I heard.”

Two shots ring out, but they aren’t aimed at the boy. The man’s blood splashes over him as he chokes on it, falling to the ground without a word. The boy counts two wounds on the man’s back.

The figure at the end of the alleyway lowers his gun and begins to approach. He is somewhere on the boundary between boyhood and manhood, perhaps about 18, at a first guess. He is darkly dressed, with hair to match, and he returns his weapon to his pocket with a detached smoothness that suggests great experience with the murderous act. He leans over the boy and picks up his bag, smiling in satisfaction at the wad of cash crudely jammed inside. He zips the bag up and hauls it over his shoulder.

“Grazie,” he thanks him, turning away and beginning his journey back down the alleyway.

He does not walk far before he reaches his destination- a small house in a densely packed row just a street away. He knocks calmly, and the door soon opens.

“Ah, Sorbet,” the responder answers. “I thought I’d heard gunfire.”

“’Evening Gabriele,” he greets him, sorting off some of the money in his hands. “20,000 lire says I can stay the night.”

“Can’t argue with that,” Gabriele agrees with a small chuckle. “Come right in, friend.”

Sorbet removes his jacket and seats himself down on the sofa, shuffling the bag protectively behind his legs. He takes off his own bag as well and pilfers through to find the chewing gum he’s been saving for this evening.

“May I ask how you still haven’t found a place of your own? Surely you must be rolling in it from all that blood money you’ve got lately. Hell,” he remarks, eyeing the money poking out from behind Sorbet’s lap. “You could probably sort yourself out for a couple months on that alone.”

“You can certainly ask,” Sorbet answers apathetically.

“Well?”

Sorbet looks at him contemplatively before deciding he’s in the mood for compliance tonight. He leans back.

“To put it simply I’ve just been out of it too long. ‘Don’t have my birth certificate, ‘don’t have any documents of that sort. I left home at 14 and frankly I’d be shocked if I wasn’t legally dead by now. Well, assuming my mum was ever lucid enough to do the paperwork, that is.”

“You could rent a flat from the gang. They’d hardly say no to you,” Gabriele suggests.

“Not really a fan of that sort of obligation, Gabe,” Sorbet refutes him. “Besides, the quote on quote ‘buildings’ the gang owns get busted by the cops all the time. I hardly wanna deal with that at 1 in the morning.”

“True,” Gabriele snorts. A knock sounds at the door. “Who the fuck at this time of night?” he gripes.

“No idea, but have fun with them,” Sorbet says, getting to his feet. “I’m off to help myself to your shower,” he announces, departing up the stairs. Gabriele answers the door.

“H-Hello,” the newcomer greets. It’s another teenager, with messy blond hair and a sky of freckles. He shivers into his thin jacket, hand red-raw from clutching his heavy bag. “Are you Gabriele?” he asks.

“Who’s asking?” Gabriele says with scrutiny.

“My name is Gelato, sir. You don’t know me, but I know a friend of yours from Florence, well, small village outside of Florence, I’m sure you know which one I mean. I heard from him you wanted to get someone to do errands for you and well, I was wondering if I could do that for you,” the boy offers. There’s a wild look in his desperate green eyes, and Gabriele knows this won’t end quickly for him.

“Kid, that was weeks ago! What the hell took you so long?” he asks.

“It’s not my fault I had to walk here!” Gelato protests. “Look, I got kicked out by my parents, I’m only 17 and if you don’t help me I’ll have nowhere to go!” he pleads.

“That’s rough and all, but the job’s closed. Go find a shelter or something.”

“PLEASE!” Gelato begs. He’s trembling, but there’s a touch of anger in his eyes as he glares at him that makes Gabriele mildly scared to turn him down.

“Look, I have neither the need nor the money for another errand boy right now. But, now I think of it I do know a guy who needs someone to manage a bar for him. Make no mistake, it’s nothing more than a meet-up spot for the gang so don’t expect anything fancy, but I think it has a flat upstairs. Maybe you can ask to move into the place as your pay.”

“A bar? That’s perfect!” Gelato enthuses. “Thank you thank you so much!”

“Yeah, yeah, okay, I’m happy for you. Now If I go give the guy a call will you please piss off?” Gabriele entreats him.

“Anything you say sir! Thank you!” Gelato agrees. Gabriele heads for his phone with a sigh.

::::::::::::

An hour later, Gelato finds himself in the staff-only section of what was once a fully functioning bar.

“Look kid, it’s not hard stuff,” his guide tells him. “Just keep ‘em drunk enough they can’t kill each other and ring me up if you hear any talk the boss ought to here,” he explains.

“Yes sir, I will,” Gelato answers dutifully. The man opens a rickety door leading to a thin, steep staircase. Gelato follows him up.

“And, this is the flat you were so eager about,” the man announces, looking over the dark, dust-filled space of the bare-bones apartment. There’s a frightful stain on the sofa, and one of the kitchen cabinet doors is hanging on one hinge. “Consider yourself lucky I’m letting you have it when I could be giving it to someone who pays. Don’t expect a penny more from me, this is your full payment,” he continues.

“But how will I eat?” Gelato protests.

“I guess you better hope they tip you good,” the man answers apathetically. “Look, if you do a good job and don’t piss me off, maybe I can spare a few thousand lire a night later on, but until then, you’re getting no more help from me,” he maintains. “Maybe you should learn to pickpocket. ‘Useful skill to have around here.”

Gelato growls inwardly. Of course he knows how to pickpocket! Well- how to pickpocket 13 year olds outside a school gate. Grown men might be a different matter, but he’ll figure it out. Getting caught can’t be much worse than what happened when his parents found out.

“Alright. Thanks,” Gelato forces himself to say. The man gives a satisfied nod and exits.

“Make sure you know where everything is before you open at 9,” he says.

Gelato seeks out the bedroom and lies down, not caring how musty the frayed sheets smell. He grabs the pillow and hugs it close to him like a stuffed toy. It occurs to him that he’s scared.

::::::::::::

It takes him a month to accept his parents aren’t taking him back, two to stop fucking up every day of his life and three to feel some sense of normalcy in his new life at the bar. That’s not to say he’s happy, by any means, simply that he holds onto his current existence with a vice-grip, for fear that things could only get worse if he shook the boat too much.

He sleeps until noon, usually, leaves the house as soon as he’s awake enough to do so and just walks. Anywhere. Sometimes he tries to pickpocket but ever since that beating he earned from a poorly chosen victim, he saves it for his most desperate days. After lunch, if he has any, he sometimes goes to the library. He was never much of a scholar and rarely reads, but he finds the place more pleasant to dissociate in than his apartment.

Should he feel like treating himself, he occasionally visits the arcade when he has the change to spare. After it became clear letting him waste away was not in the landlord’s best interests if he wanted his bar to stay running, he began to help a little with food costs but nowhere near enough for such frivolous outings to be frequently affordable.

Around 3pm, Gelato goes home and sleeps until his hunger forces him to get up and eat. He likes to make a start early on setting up the bar, and cleaning it from the messes of its previous nights patrons, so he tries to begin by 7. It opens at 9 and closes at 2, after which Gelato will shower, and spend a short stretch of time watching the old, boxy TV he pulled out of the attic in bed, before sleeping.

As he exits the cellar, he receives a few apathetic glances from some of the patrons but ultimately nothing much. His eyes are on the far corner of the bar where, to perhaps less of his concern than it should be, two men are engaged in a heated argument. It’s a sight he’s well used to now, but he keeps a keen watch on the men, since the landlord insisted he de-escalate anything that looks like it may prove fatal.

“I don’t care what your excuses are! We had a deal and you’re going to fucking pay me!” The first man shouts. He is one of the younger ones, probably little older than Gelato but with an air of authority more akin to some of the older individuals in the mob. He has heard whispers about this man- his name is Sorbet and he is an enforcer. The mobsters are cautious about the word ‘assassin’, it makes them sound like a more ambitious group than they truly are, one that could be deemed a threat by the larger syndicates that truly control this city. Yet, Gelato reads between the lines when they talk about the things Sorbet has done. As Gelato approaches Sorbet’s eyes flick towards him momentarily. Gelato shies away from the eye contact and feels an odd feeling inside him. Seeing Sorbet always makes him feel odd. He doesn’t dare speak to him directly.

“Whatever. It ain’t on me if you misread what we were talking about. You did me a favour, nothing more,” the second man retorts. He’s another regular, as familiar to Gelato, if not more, than Sorbet is, even if he doesn’t know him by name. He is a cruel man, impatient and aggressive whenever he visits. Gelato always tremors a little when he comes through the door.

Still, he scares him less than Sorbet.

Gelato forces a smile as he approaches the second man.

“Pardon me, could I get you any more-” he inhales sharply as the half-full bottle of wine is chucked over him.

“Yes, one more of these,” the man orders coldly. Gelato wipes his eyes.

“Right away,” he nods, turning back towards the cellar and fighting every fibre of his being telling him not to let this slide.

Gelato descends into the cellar, shaking from the cold of his wet clothes and anger. As he pulls a new bottle off the shelf he wonders briefly if he ought to piss in it, but decides the best result that could come of that is having it thrown over him again. He pats down his shirt and takes the bottle back up to the bar.

He knows what has happened before the door is even open. The sound of shouting is familiar to him, and if the past few minutes is anything to go by, it’s Sorbet and that petulant man’s feud which has turned violent. Opening the door proves his theory, as a small crowd has formed around Sorbet and his opponent as they engage in a relentless match of fists.

Gelato debates to himself. He could put down the bottle and run, he could try and calm the men down and risk one or both of them turning their anger on him, or he could use this opportunity to finally get back at that bastard’s disrespect. Gelato’s never been much of a thinking sort. His mind doesn’t take long to settle on the third option. He rears the bottle above his head and charges.

There’s a collective gasp of shock as Gelato suddenly crashes into the man, smashing the bottle over the back of his skull with full strength. It shatters, and the man falls to the floor with a groan. Gelato looks up at Sorbet, briefly fearing his interference may have provoked anger but, Sorbet only smiles.

Gelato rushes to his feet just in time to join his new ally in kicking the man, again and again until he starts to spit blood. Gelato picks up the remains of the bottle’s base and pours out the remaining liquid onto his enemy’s face in one, final insult. The crowd cheers. Evidently this man was not so popular with the gang after all.

Gelato sits down, whoozy from exhaustion and adrenaline. He finds himself laughing. He cannot recall the last time he’s done that. Sorbet leans down and pulls a stack of cash from the unconscious man’s pocket.

“Lying bastard,” he scoffs. “He did have the money. Probably a lot more than I asked for, but I can hardly complain about that.” Sorbet turns to Gelato with a look of deliberation. He pulls out one of the 50,000 lire bills and hands it to him with a smile.

“For your trouble,” he declares. He withdraws his hand with a slow deliberateness, their fingertips touching for just the briefest of seconds. The odd feeling Gelato has felt since laying eyes on Sorbet returns with a vengeance, and yet, Gelato can feel nothing but awe as it begins to eat his heart.

Oh dear. Gelato might have a crush.

::::::::::::

It is three days later to the hour, that Gelato finds himself hauled into the cellar and pinned against the wall, mouth agape in shock as Sorbet digs his fingers into his neck. It occurs to Gelato he might have gone about this the wrong way.

“Alright, spit it out,” Sorbet demands. “What the hell was that up there?”

“Pardon?” Gelato pleads fearfully.

“Did you think I would let you get away with mocking me like that?” Sorbet asks through gritted teeth. Gelato’s mind turns to the myriad of weapons no doubt hidden in Sorbet’s clothes. That thought shouldn’t endear him as much as it does.

“Mocking?”

“Oh? Is there another explanation for why you would behave like that around me? Humiliate me in front of half my gang? Well?!” Sorbet entreats him. His grip around his neck tightens

“Flirting! It was flirting!” Gelato confesses desperately. Sorbet’s grip lessens.

“What?”

“Look. I think I like guys, you like guys or at least everyone says you do. And- I think I might like you a lot so- I wanted your attention. I wanted to talk to you again,” Gelato admits sheepishly. His cheeks start to burn, and it isn’t from the lack of oxygen any more.

Sorbet looks like something in his brain must have just blown a fuse. Perhaps Gelato should take this opportunity to run, since this half-assed attempt at seduction is clearly a resounding failure.

But then Sorbet starts to laugh. It’s a low, quiet laugh but nonetheless genuine as he fixes his eyes warmly on the floor.

“Oh you dear thing. That isnot how this works,” he says. Gelato breathes out in relief, as well as a little disappointment.

“Yeah, I’m sorry. This was stupid I should- probably just go back to my work,” he apologises. His body goes still as Sorbet touches a hand to his cheek.

“Though if you ever want my attention again,” he leans in and presses his lips lightly against Gelato’s. “You should just ask.”

Sorbet lets out a little hum of amusement at the sight of Gelato’s shock. He caresses his face once more, touching his finger to a little curl of hair as he does so, before finally freeing Gelato from his hold.

“See you later,” he promises, before leaving him alone in the cellar. Above him, Gelato hears Sorbet walk out in the direction of the front door. Gelato collects himself, and calmly wanders over to the sink, waiting patiently for it to fill with water.

He sticks his head in and screams.

::::::::::::

Sorbet visits the bar twice weekly, no different from before. But he starts visiting Gelato more often. Barely a week from their first kiss, they are in bed together, Gelato clinging onto his new love tightly as he reads. This touch is alien to him and in spite of his joy, he cannot help but quiver as Sorbet pets his hair. He wonders how he ever lived his life without knowing joy this strong.

Their second week is easier. They both start to become accustomed to this newfound love and no longer think of each other as strangers. Gelato knows Sorbet’s full name now, he knows which street he grew up on and the names and ages of each of his siblings. Sorbet knows what Gelato’s parents did for a living. He knows the name of the boy he had his first real fight with, and the therapist who tried and failed to relieve him of the ‘learning disabilities’ that made his parents despise him so deeply. Sorbet tries to at least drop in on most days, but when he can’t, he calls Gelato to tell him where he’s staying for the night. Gelato thinks of him as he falls asleep, hugging his pillow close.

By week three, the pair have found a new normal together. Sorbet sleeps over more often than not, and the bar patrons now know full well not to cause Gelato trouble when Sorbet is in the building. Sorbet has made every aspect of Gelato’s life more enjoyable, and he can see in Sorbet’s eyes that the feeling goes both ways. Gelato knows why Sorbet left home four years ago, and Sorbet knows how Gelato really wants to get revenge of his parents for abandoning him. On precisely day 19 of their affair, Gelato asked Sorbet if he planned to keep doing this with him forever. Sorbet did not hesitate in saying yes.

It’s a few days later that Sorbet comes to the bar with an especially warm smile on his usually cold face. Gelato thought little of putting down his current orders to rush over and greet him at the door.

“Sorbet, you’re here early!” Gelato enthuses. Sorbet pecks his cheek.

“I thought we might spend a night to ourselves. I think you need it, Caro.”

“But Sorbet, the bar doesn’t close for three more hours yet!” Gelato reminds him.

“Not if I can help it.”

Sorbet raises his gun and fires it twice at the ceiling. The patrons look up in fear. “Alright, everyone out. Bar’s closed,” he announces. The patrons sheepishly get to their feet and file out.

“But, the landlord!” Gelato protests.

“Fuck the landlord. If he has a problem with this, he goes through me,” Sorbet maintains. Gelato’s breath escapes him with a laugh and he follows him upstairs.

“Really, tell me,” Gelato insists light-heartedly. “What’s brought this on?” He turns around and his face falls to see that Sorbet is looking saddened.

“I- saw my siblings today,” he announces.

“Are they… okay?” Gelato asks worriedly.

“Oh, they’re fine. I saw them down at the cafe, they didn’t notice me. Taking a look at the other ones, I’m assuming the older ones are getting better at taking care of them. It makes sense, given the ages they’re getting to. The issue is… there was another baby, this time, who wasn’t there before,” Sorbet reveals. “Probably just a month or so old, from the looks of her.”

“Sorbet…”

“My sister,” Sorbet says, bringing his head into his hands. “And I don’t even know her name!”

“Sorbet,” Gelato says, taking his head in his own hands. “It isn’t your fault the way your mother is. Looking after them isn’t your responsibility.”

“It was,” Sorbet reminds him. “Then I left.”

“Look, I’m sure they’re fine,” Gelato reiterates. “Believe me when I say there are many worse things older siblings can do than just not look after you. Now,” he begins. “How about that night we were going to have together,” he smiles.

“Right,” Sorbet recalls, pecking him on the nose. “It’s you I came to see.”

Sorbet leans forward and kisses him deeply. Gelato, so recently a stranger to the sensation, leans in further to the kiss, pawing teasingly at Sorbet’s chest to urge him on. Sorbet groans to the kiss, hooking a hand around Gelato’s collar. Downstairs, something crashes loudly.

Sorbet pulls back. He sees Gelato’s eyes widen in fear as a parade of footsteps stumble into the building. Sorbet presses a kiss to his cheek reassuringly.

“Stay calm,” he urges him. “Not a sound.”

Sorbet stands up and, watching his feet on the old floorboards, moves over to the window to peer outside.

“Shit!” he exclaims, ducking away out of view.

“What is it?” Gelato whispers.

“The police. Two cars.”

“Are they here for us?” Gelato asks, voice hitching in fear. Sorbet shakes his head quickly.

“Unlikely. They most likely thought the place was empty. If we are quick, we can still leave without them seeing us,” he promises. Gelato shrinks back.

“I’m scared,” he admits. Sorbet takes his hand in his.

“Just stay with me okay? I’ll protect you.”

#la squadra #la squadra di esecuzione #Sorbet and Gelato #sorbet jojo #gelato jojo #l'inizio

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bruh-haikyuu · 5 years ago

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REQUEST: Can you do a scenario where lev meets his s/o because she playing the piano or singing. Thank you. Love your writing.❤️

A/N: Thank you for requesting!! Ok Sasha storytime 😳😳 I used to be in a piano class since I was 5 (I quit, but I still play just for fun). And I joined this competition when I was 9 and got selected as one of the finalists - and I was so fucking surprised bc jesus, I play averagely for all I can say... I’m not the best, but I’m definitely not the worst. But there was this messed up system where more familiar faces/winners would definitely be chosen. And despite some other kids messing up a lot, the MCs removed me first bc “Sorry, no one knows you around here. You played better than some others, but maybe if you talked more, you could win. No one really wants a winner they’re not familiar with.” I couldn’t really say anything. I knew they were right. So I left with a Certificate of Participation and not even proof that the judges chose me as a finalist. THIS particular event got me so fucked up for so long that I tried to get myself sick/injured so that I wouldn’t have to go to my piano classes for 4 weeks straight. Eventually, I pulled out after my exam and started playing for myself, with the songs that I enjoy, whenever I want. So,,, fuck those MCs and my teacher, I’m a bad bitch you can’t kill me 😎 *plays Superbass by Nicki Minaj* FEM!READER BELOW

duende. | haiba lev

summary: in which lev has no sense of direction, but finds a lone sugarplum fairy along the way.

word count: 2438

warnings: none

(n.) the feeling of profound awe experienced when viewing a piece of art, watching a performance or listening to music that has deeply moved a person

It’s difficult to tell precisely... but Lev was definitely lost.

It wasn’t his fault the school had to be so large! What’s the point of having so much staircases when they weren’t going to lead to one conjoined hallway? It was like a maze, except Lev knew he wasn’t getting anywhere near a familiar area.

Crap! he cursed, pawing nervously at his empty pant pocket. I left my phone in the clubroom.

Light was already fading from the west-side window and he hadn’t come across anyone for the past 15 minutes. He recalled something Taketora said about a part of the school being dead deserted. Was this that place? He couldn’t tell.

He was getting impatient. If Lev didn’t hurry up and submit his additional worksheets to Sakamatsu-sensei before sundown, it was over. Goodbye to the club’s training camp. Goodbye to becoming the greatest ace Nekoma has ever had. Goodbye to everything he ever cared about.

Instinct taking over, he ran as fast as his legs could carry him and called out to the empty hallways for someone. Anyone. “Hello?! Sakamatsu-sensei...?!”

And when the vacant corridors replied back to him, Lev stilled, frozen.

“...Piano?”

Alisa had told him something about ghosts once. It was right after she’d gone out to watch some horror movie with her friends. Lev couldn’t remember exactly her words, but his sister had “slept” with her eyes open that night and he wondered if he should be taking her advice seriously.

But this didn’t sound like a ghost. Something that sounded so beautiful wouldn’t have any murderous intention behind it... right?

The melody reminded Lev of those old ballets his grandmother would play on TV when she visited. Every glissando a delicate spin by one of the performers, and every perky note a tiny leap. He could almost see them, those beautiful dancers, and Lev wondered—if he were to trace the music to its source, would he find a charming sugarplum fairy waiting for him?

His feet were already ahead of his thoughts. Lev couldn’t even tell where he was in the gallery of clubrooms. His senses of direction numbed, he relied on his ears and the sweet, sweet melody of the piano that was getting warmer. And warmer. Warmer.

Hot.

“Or...chestra Club?” he read out, the placard’s kanji wrapping itself around his head. Peering through the rectangular window of the doors, Lev zeroed in on the bareness of the room, save for the large grand piano settled in the center.

This is the place... right? he thought, retreating slowly. No one’s here.

Looking around for good measure, Lev scratched his head. Ah, geez, I don’t even know where I am anymore. He reconsidered throwing away his curiosity and return to his quest for the third year’s Teacher’s Room before his Biology teacher could scold him for his incompetence. But the little fluff of hair peeking out from behind the piano swayed him over and he didn’t even stop to think when he barged through the doors.

“Fairy!”

The girl who squeaked in shock really did convince Lev for a millisecond that she was a fairy. Straight out of that stage his TV had replayed for him. Tiny in stature, eyes shining like morning dewdrops and fingers pressed again the white keys, thin and graceful as if you were producing magic. All excluding the lack of a pair of shimmering wings sprouted on her back, you were an enigma in this barren universe.

“I’m human,” you said, voice like air. Breezing and pushing like wind.

Lev approached the center of the room, speculating if your glamour would disappear if he were to come closer. “T-That song you played. That was from a ballet, right?”

“It’s Tchaikovsky,” you replied bluntly, grinning. “I feel like I’ve seen you somewhere before, can’t recall... We’re not too familiar, but you’re awfully rude for a first year, aren’t you? At least address me with the proper suffixes if you’re going to assume my species like that, Giant-kun.”

Speak for yourself! he thought, becoming more and more amused by this fanciful person. “I mean, you don’t look like a high school student either—”

You, completely ignoring him, returned your attention the piano, playing another song. This one faster, more fluid. Seeing your hands up-close, Lev eyed the muted details of your hand. A gentle blush on its skin, illuminated by the sunlight from the large window sitting ajar. His sister would kill to have a hint at your manicure routine.

So this is what a pianist’s hands looks like.

“Oh, I remember now,” hands coming to a rest on your skirt, the fairy girl turned to him, as elegant as ever. Now that the room was silent, there was a nervousness that lingered in the air. “You’re one of Kuroo’s boys, aren’t you?”

Hearing the familiar name of the no-nonsense captain of the Volleyball Club, Lev perked up, “You know Kuroo-san?”

“Of course, we’re in the same class after all.”

Same class. That would mean—no way!

“Y-you’re older than me?!”

You gave him a bright smile. Added to your fairy-like personage, Lev couldn’t help but to notice that this upperclassman of his was aware of his existence. There was actually a girl—who was awfully cute and just his type if he thought about it—in this godforsaken school who knew about Nekoma’s ‘ace’, Haiba Lev.

This was a dream, right? No, he shouldn’t be saying such a thing. In fact, Lev had gotten so engrossed in this reality that he didn’t realize how much he was staring into your beautiful face before you piped up again.

“Oh, it’s almost time for me to lock up. I forgot to ask, did you need anything when you came in here?”

Wait, what time is it?!

Lev let out a strangled noise between a dying boar and a tearful sob. Collapsing on the floor before his worried senpai, he squeezed the papers in his hand. Oh, it was over now. Over, over, over. Hello wretched make-up exam, goodbye glorious training camp...

Kneeling down next to him, you peeked at his wincing face. “H-hey, are you okay? Is there anything I can do to help?”

Raising his head to look into your swirling eyes, Lev pursed his lips. Damn, you were totally going to think he was uncool after this. Grabbing you by the shoulders, he lowered his head in a bow.

“Senpai, could you show me the way to the third year’s teacher’s room? I’ve got an assignment to submit before 5 pm and I don’t know where I am! Please, senpai, I need to—”

No more words were exchanged when you grabbed Lev’s collosal hands in your delicate ones and dragged him through the door. You sped and hurtled down the corridors, bringing him along with you in this strange joyride. It was a funny sensation, similar to being towed around a park by a wild dog on a leash—except you weren’t a dog, but simply a shorter person whose size reminded him a bit of Yaku-san...

“S-Senpai—?!” he wheezed out, long legs pedalling in front of him. For someone nearly half his height, you were really fast; he wondered if you should’ve went for the Track and Field Club instead of the Orchestra Club.

Just as he had thought of letting go before you became a physical hazard to him, you skid to a halt in front of a door. Panting, you smiled up at him. “Here we are. Y-You’re not late, right?”

Eyes darting between the doors to the teacher’s office and you, the burning intention of a hug fuzzed out Lev’s brain—unfortunately, that would have to wait until later. Shoving the door open, he dashed inside the near-empty office and handed over his pile of crumpled assignments to the jaded Sakamatsu-sensei, face red.

Filing through the papers, the Biology teacher griped. “Well, all the assignments I asked for you to do are here... I’ll inform the Volleyball Club supervisor that you’ll be able to join the training camp this weekend.”

Saved. He was saved.

Exiting the office, he bowed before you—his fairy godmother—and murmured. “Thank you, senpai! You saved my life... ”

“Y-You’re welcome,” you said. “But I don’t think I went as far as “saving your life”, um... what was your name?”

“Haiba! Haiba Lev. Thank you so much!”

When you giggled, Lev heard the choirs of angels fill his head. God, he really wanted to hug you, stuff you in his pocket and bring you home with him to coo at and cuddle.

“The pleasure is mine, Haiba-kun. You’re an interesting person, you know? I’m glad we met.”

Lev really felt like he’d won the lottery. Was this finally his chance? Was he going to get a super cute, older girlfriend before his intolerable seniors? Unthinkable! Yet here he was, indulging in the soft smile of Nekoma’s resident sugarplum fairy, as if his entire gag reel of clumsy flukes never existed.

“Ah! I forgot to lock the doors to the clubroom!” you yelped. Even in panic, Lev thought you looked cute. “It was nice getting to know you, Haiba-kun. The main staircase is right over there, so you’ll be able to get back without getting lost. Be safe!”

Before he could offer his hand in accompanying you—at least being next to you for as long as possible—you had already sped off into an indistinct corner, the amber light of sundown fading with your shadow. And once again, Lev was alone.

Damn. He didn’t even ask for your name.

══════ ⋆★⋆ ══════

“You’re asking me... if I know a girl in my class called ‘Fairy-senpai’?”

The gaze in Lev’s green eyes were resolute. “Yes.”

Kuroo sighed, wiping off his sweat with a towel. Day by day, he swore, the first-years were getting more and more difficult to deal with. “Someone named Fairy who hangs around in that derelict part of the third floor sounds shady as hell. And what club did you say she was from?”

“Orchestra Club.”

“We have an Orchestra Club?”

Lev was getting nowhere with the rooster-headed captain; it was either that, or Kuroo was intentionally leading him to a dead-end out of sheer mischief. Anything could happen with him.

It had been a total of 18 hours since he’d last seen you, and Lev’s head had never felt any emptier. He’d startled his parents and Alisa enough by playing one of his grandmother’s ballet DVDs once he’d arrived home. But it wasn’t the same. Even the visual movements of the ballerinas and the skill of the ensemble didn’t amount to your solo rendition.

Yours was more natural, more sturdy. Something he could feel and see without opening his eyes or reaching out to it. Smitten with your performance, Lev slept that night, head filled with the thought of seeing you again, his little sugarplum fairy in the maze of doors and desolation. And maybe, he’d even get your number this time.

“She’s really good at the piano and has a twinkly smile. Fairy-senpai is a bit short too, really tiny,” Lev hesitated to continue, looking around for safety “... A bit like Yaku-san’s height.”

“What’s this I hear about my height? Hey, Lev! Why aren’t you practicing your digging receives?!”

Wincing at the stinging kick thrown at his back, Lev pouted miserably. Watching the poor behemoth being dragged away by the demonic upperclassman, an implausible feeling of pity struck through Kuroo, and he called out for the libero.

“A cute girl who looks like a fairy, can play the piano and is in the Orchestra Club? In our class?” Yaku repeated after Lev and Kuroo’s explanation. Tapping his chin in deep thought, he replied dubiously. “Doesn’t that sound a bit like L/N-san to you?”

“Ehh? L/N-chan can play the piano? I never knew that.”

Yaku clicked his tongue indignantly. “That’s because you barely talk to her. Maybe if you attended cleaning duty properly, you would’ve realized that when you’re paired up with her.”

The sound of his seniors bickering was already white noise to him. L/N. Repeating the syllables on his tongue, Lev tasted a sugary relish linger in his mouth. What a beautiful name. A fitting name, and suddenly, he already sensed that your first name would be just as wonderful.

“Though I’m impressed that you managed to get a full conversation out of L/N-san. Did you scare her or something?” Yaku snickered at Lev’s unappreciative scowl. “It’s just that L/N-san only says something when she’s required to. Otherwise... she’s really quiet. I’ve only heard her say ‘thank you’, ‘I’m sorry’, ‘yes’ and ‘no’ for the past three years, everything else we know about her comes from gossip.”

Lev’s chest swelled up and he smirked. “Maybe she likes younger guys like me.”

“I think she likes you because you’ve got nothing going on in your head at all,” the team captain scoffed attracting the giggles of his surrounding teammates. “You are right though, Lev. L/N-chan is a really cute person... I might get interested one of these days.”

“H-Huh?! C’mon, Kuroo-san! I’ve got dibs on her first!”

Nearly there, the captain thought. Lev’s ears were already burning red, a clear sign of his impulsive outburst. And when the timing was right, the Volleyball Club loved to use his recklessness for profit.

Crossing his arms in faux doubt, Kuroo shrugged. “I don’t know... I highly doubt you’ll attract her attention if you’re not even a regular on the team...”

Furrowing his brows deeply, Lev snatched a ball from the ground and stared deeply into the captain’s lacklustre eyes. “I-I’ll show you! I’ll become a regular on the team and the ace! That’s why I’m going to go practice right now, right, Yaku-san?!”

Even Yaku, completely amused and alarmed, had to do a double take. “R-Right... Do your best then.”

“I will!”

Chuckling at Lev’s shrinking back, Kuroo patted himself on the back for a job well done. Kenma, who had watched the entire nasty exchange go down, was stuck between a rock and a hard place.

Weakly punching his childhood friend on his shoulder, he grumbled. “Great... Now that he’s fired up about some girl, he’ll keep asking me for more tosses. Kuroo, if I pass out because of your ‘encouragement’, you’re paying for my health insurance.”

Lev couldn’t hear the new conversation happening between the team’s setter and the captain, but that didn’t matter right now. He was going to practice, become better, then the best. Then ask you out, his sugarplum fairy in the third floor’s Orchestra Club clubroom. Lev felt invincible.

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yandere-mha-blog · 4 years ago

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Chapter 9: A boys’ best friend

Words:1218

Once again you and Hiromi were at lunch as you were slurping down some ramen

“Well, thanks to you my brother has agreed to go back to school.” She said

“So soon, that's a big step,” you said

“Well my brother said talking to you really helped so thanks,” she said

“I'm glad I could help, and I'm glad you are able to understand why my job means so much to me,” you said

“Hmmm I sorta understand it, but well I'm still worried, I mean that's my brother I know him.”

“The people I help are someone's brother or someone's sons,” you said

“Well I, you know what I mean, I read a report where they came into one of their rooms and he attacked the person,” she said

“I've read a few stories like that, it usually happens when the person isn't well known or trusted and they barge into their space and they get defensive, they see it as more of guarding a space spot.”

“Again that just seems weird, like you get so antisocial you attack people like a wild animal,” she said and you were trying really hard not to break your chopstick in half.

“Hiromi imagine if you felt the entire world was out to get you, and you have one spot where you feel safe, and all of a sudden that dangerous tries to enter, wouldn't you try to protect it.”

“But they can be unstable,” she said, as you watch beeped, thank god your next appointment was soon and your break was over

“Sorry Hiromi, my next appointment is up, I'm going to go buy some Ohagi,” you said

“So soon, stay safe,” she said

“I will,” you said grabbing an order of Ohagi and leaving waving her off

“She is a good person but why can't people understand.” you thought as you hailed a cab to get to Tomuras place and walked up the steps and knocked on his door

“What,” he said

“Tomura it's me, I brought your favorite.” you said, and you heard the door lock click open, and him reaching his hand out “Gimmie.”

“Here you go,” you said taking one out and he pulled his hand back in

“This isn't homemade.” he said as you heard the wrapper crinkle “also you smell like ramen.”

“I had some for lunch, what did you have for lunch?” you asked

“Some chips,” he said

“Just chips, next time I'm bringing you a meal,” you said

“Doesn't mean I will eat it.” he said, placing his hand out “Another one. “Well I can't keep filling your intake for Ohagi forever Tomura.” you said, “what have you done today?”

“Woke up, took a shower, ate some chips, and hunched over the computer.” he said “Boring shit, the shower hurt.”

“The shower hurt”?” you asked

“...no,” he said correcting himself and wanting to put his shoe in his mouth to shut him up

“Tomura, why did the shower hurt?” you asked him

“I..have a tendency to scratch myself and not even notice it, so I have a lot of cuts and the water stings.”

“I see.” you said “When do you notice the new marks appear from scratching?”

“When I feel stressed and I'm lost in thought I just feel itchy like something is on me and I need to scratch, I've gotten used to it. I barely notice, scary huh.” “I’m more worried that it's interfering with your ability to shower properly without pain.” you said “How long has this been going on?”

“Since i can remember.” Tomura said, “I can barely wash my face with water now it stings so much.”

“Nao, Tenko keeps scratching his face,” Kator said to his wife

“I know, I've asked the doctors they said it's allergies but the cream isn't working, and the medication is just making him sleepy” Nao said as she looked outside to see Tenko itching his arm, she opened the window

“Tenko stop scratching your arm,” she said

“Huh?” Tenko said looking down at his arm “huh didn't notice.”

“It's okay just stop itching or it will just make you itchier.” She said

“Okay mom,” she said as Hana kicked the ball near him

“Tenko stop being distracted and kick the ball back, Monchan is playing more than you!” she said

“Sorry! Tenko said kicking the ball, and Nao looked back at her husband.

“Something isn't right with that boy,” Kotaro said

“How can you say that about your own son!” Nao said

“Nao, look at him, he scratches his eyes in his sleep the scars are getting worse around his arm no matter how many times you tell him to stop, he just does it five minutes later.”

“He says he is mostly itchy in the house at night.” She said

“Something is wrong with him,” Kotaro said as Tenko was under the window seal his eyes still itchy, was there something wrong with him.

“Tomura you okay you went quiet?” you said, and Tomura snapped out of it again, ugh why did he have to remember that

“I'm just thinking.” He said

“It's the dog isn't it?” Kotaro said holding MOnchan by the collar, “I need to make a dog house and they need to stay outside from now on.”

MOn chan was barking at him, as Tenko was crying

“NO DON'T TAKE MONCHAN AWAY, THEY ARE MY BEST FRIEND!” Tenko sobbed

“Monchan is having you tear up your face, have you looked at your face in the mirror lately, look at what you are doing to your face!”

“IT'S NOT MONCHAN!” Tenko said wrapping his arms around Monchan “DON'T MAKE MONCHAN LIVE OUTSIDE!”

“Kotaro.” Nao said, “The doctors said it was allergies but I don't think it's the dog, Tenko said it only happens at night anyway!”

“HE IS DOING IT RIGHT NOW!” Kotaro yelled, seeing Tenko crying and scratching his eyes, continuing to sob to not put his dog outside, Nao leaned down holding her son close as he continued to sob

“THE DOG IS STAYING OUTSIDE AND THAT IS FINAL,” Kotaro yelled placing monchan outside and closing the door and heard monchan whining and scratching at the door to be let in, Tenko wondering why the other adults were not doing anything, you all loved monchan right why were you letting him do this to them.

That night Tenko walked down to the door and went outside in his pajamas and monchan happily hopped up

“Shhh monchan don't let father know I'm out here.” he said hugging monchan “you don't make me itchy, father makes me itchy.”

“Woof” And Tenko decided to fall asleep outside hugging his dog so when, His father saw this the next morning, he had to explain to the teacher that day why he had a bruise on his face again.

“I ran into a door.”

“You need to be more careful.”

“Tomura, what are you thinking about?” you asked snapping him out of it

“Oh my...my childhood dog.” He said scratching the back of his neck

“What type of dog were they?” you asked

“A corgi,” he said

“Oh so that's why you wanted photos of Panchan.” you said, “what was your dog's name?”

“Monchan.” he said

“Wow, very similar,” you said

“To similar.” Tomura thought

#yandere tomura shigaraki #yandere tomura #yandere shigaraki #yandere tenko shimura #yadere shimura #yandere my hero academia #yandere boku no hero academia

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musingsofanunorgainizedmind · 4 years ago

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Top 10 Things I Love About Supernatural

It’s been almost half a year since the show ended and now that the dust has settlIed, I just want to list ten reasons I love this show. Despite it’s flaws, it’s been quite the ride.

1. Team Free Will

When I first got the idea to make this list, I originally planned on doing entirely separate entries for “Sam & Dean” and “Destiel”. Except then I wanted to pay tribute to “Sastiel”. And then I wanted to do an entry for “Team Free Dads”. By that point, I was already halfway through the list and I hadn’t even moved on from the main characters. A few months ago, I made a post about why I love every single pairing in this group. Obviously, Sam and Dean are a legendary duo. Obviously, Dean and Cas have an unparalleled story. Obviously, Sam and Cas are an underrated team. As for Team Free Dads, I’ve always had a soft spot for father/mentor figure characters and and all three tackle the role in different ways. I love Jack, too. I love how everyone in this bizarro family is “broken” in some way. We’ve got the Allistair’s prized pupil, the spawn of satan, the boy with demon blood, and the angel who nearly obliterated all of heaven. But they help each other heal by being supportive and seeing the good in each other. They all love each other so deeply and when together, nothing can stand in their way. Not Michael, not Lucifer, and not God himself. They tore up the book and wrote their own story. And it was a pleasure to watch it all unfold.

2. The Suppporting Characters

To list every single supporting character I have loved and lost in this show would take way too long. I don’t know if it’s the writing or acting performances, but I love pretty much every single supporting character on this show. Even villains like Azazel or Allistair are top-notch villains. Hell, I even like characters like Metatron, Lucifer, Mary, and John! Characters like Rufus, Charlie, Crowley, Rowena, Kevin, Ellen, Jo, Bobby, Gabriel, Balthazar, Mick...how am I not supposed to love them??? All of their stories were cut so short. I’d watch a show about any of these characters. The Wayward Sisters were robbed. So many ships were gone too soon (Sam/Rowena, Dean/Jo, Cas/Meg, Etc.). So many heartbreaking deaths. I want to be best friends with all these characters. Why be a “dean-girl” or a “sam-girl” when you can be a garth-girl? A kevin-girl? A claire-girl? A bela-girl? There are so many great characters with interesting and compelling backstories and so much untapped potential. I could go on forever on this, but I digress.This show has one of the best supporting casts I have ever had the pleasure of watching.

3. The Themes

It’s no accident that I got addicted to this show at the time that I did. Namely, my Senior Year of College and 2020. Graduating college and entering the “real world” felt like it’s own sort of apocalypse. 2020 definitely exacerbated my worst tendencies. Messages like “family don’t end in blood”, “you can write your own story”, and “always keep fighting” really resonated with me. I could definitely relate to the feelings of insecurity these character’s felt and the ways they suppressed/repressed their issues instead of facing them. I could relate to the feelings of not fitting in and I could definitely relate to the loneliness. This show helped remind me that I’m not alone. That it’s okay if my values and identity don’t line up with the what I envisioned for myself. And, most importantly, that there is a light at the end of the tunnel and that I should never give up. If Dean, Sam, and Cas can keep moving forward despite their demons and despite how bad it gets, so can I. Regardless of how the story ended, these themes resonated with me and I’ll still hold them with me. A single episode can’t take that away.

4. The Fun Episodes

This show has so many legendary standalone episodes. Changing Channels. Ghostfacers. The French Mistake. Fan Fiction. Tall Tales. Bad Day at Black Rock. When this show goes for the absurd, it goes all-in. It takes the risks it needs to take, it gets completely insane, and it pulls it off. So many of these episodes could have easily been the moment that the show “jumped the shark”. Yet, time after time, the show delivered on it’s potential. I don’t know how much I can say about these episodes except that they made me laugh out loud, made me fall even harder for these characters, and that they’re the episodes I remember best. If I were to rewatch any episode, it would be one of the fun ones. This show knew how to not take itself too seriously and how to poke fun at itself. I’ve always had a soft spot for shows that can make me laugh and cry (X-Files, Buffy the Vampire Slayer/Angel, Doctor Who, etc.), and this show definitely nails the fun part.

5. The Sad Episodes

Death’s Door. Hammer of the Gods. Despair. Carry On. Abandon All Hope. In My Time of Dying. Swan Song. When this show wants you to cry, it doesn’t pull the punches. It gets downright devastating. No character is safe. Literally every character you love will either be forgotten or will die. Or both. The amount of trauma Sam and Dean have to go through is insane. Both have literally been to hell and back. Both have killed countless people, including innocents. When this show decides it wants to wreck you, it’s overwhelming. I sobbed when Bobby died. I sobbed when every single member of Team Free Will died for the final time (I still can’t watch any of those scenes). I still wish Jo, Ellen, Charlie, Kevin, Mick, and Gabriel had been given more time to tell their stories. Being a hunter means a life of endless angst. Being an angel or demon doesn’t get you off the hook, either. I remember going into this show thinking it couldn’t hurt me. My favorite character type is “mentor/father figure”. But holy hell...I don’t think every single sad moment was necessarily good writing, but when it was? Damn.

6. The Biblical Themes

I’m not a relgious person. But, despite this show being steeped in Christian mythology, it really touched on my feelings about the Old Testament in a profound way. Well, really just Ben Edlund and Robbie Thompson did. I’ve never seen a show really hit the overall feel of the bible the way this show does. The idea of Angels as mystical and terrifying creatures. The idea of God as a flawed father figure with a penchant for wrath. The sheer epicness of the biblical stories. The idea of family members constantly being turned on each other. Cain and Abel. Jacob and Essau. Moses and Ramses. Moses and Aaron. Abraham and Isaac. The bible is full of stories of family drama. This show doesn’t always give angels and demons weight. Sometimes it’s silly and stupid and cheesy. But when it hits right? It’s epic. This is more of a personal thing I love about the show, but definitely a plus!

7. The Music

The early seasons music is so good. I really miss the classic rock of the golden era of the show. I mean, there are still some great musical moments later on, but damn. I loved hearing songs I recognized and I loved learning new songs. I loved when the song and the scene hit perfectly in time (Death’s intro. Cas’s return in Season 13.). Also Supernatural wouldn’t be Supernatural without the ‘Carry On My Wayward Son’ song at the end of every season. Even at the end of a season I didn’t love, that recap would always get me pumped. Also Chuck singing Fare Thee Well? Dean and Lee singing together? Fan Fiction? All great.

8. The Cast & Crew

I never care about the actors or actresses in a show. I definitely don’t bother with the names of specific writers and directors or their styles of writing/directing. They’re just random people who happen to write for or play these characters I love. They’re not actually the characters. But these guys? Well, for one, I’m pretty sure half this cast actually is their character. At least to some degree. They’re also just...really cool people? Who are all friends? They make a point to do community service, to interact with fans, and to promote positive ideas. Jared’s Always Keep Fighting campaign. Misha and GISH. The fact that they all participate in fundraising opportunities and encourage fan engagement. Do they all have issues? Definitely. Have they said stupid things? Yes. But the good far outweighs the bad. They’re an entertaining bunch whether onscreen or not and I hope they all do well in whatever their future endeavors may be.

9. The Fandom

I joined this fandom late. To be honest, I thought this fandom was obnoxious before I found myself a part of it. Now that I’ve been in the trenches? It’s got it’s ups and downs like any fandom. There are some parts that are more toxic than others. A lot of people yelling that their opinion is the only opinion. But overall? The good outweighs the bad. And the good? The good is great. Some fanfictions I’ve read are better than actual books I’ve read and just as moving. The fanart? Incredible. I love reading all the metas about random aspects of the show I never would have noticed. I love the music videos and I love the analytical videos. In real life, I’ve made many friends through our mutual love of this show. Hell, even getting sucked into GISH once or twice has given me some solid memories and brought me closer to friends. I wish all fandoms were this much like family. I’m so glad I got to be a part of this fandom and I can’t wait to continue being a fan. After all, nothing ever stays dead in Supernatural.

10. The Chaos & Insanity

Season 16 has been a time. First, Destiel went canon. Then suddenly Sherlock was having a 5th season, Putin was retiring, and Georgia was going blue. Destiel going “canon” and Joe Biden winning the presidency will always be correlated in my mind now. Things in the fandom went from quiet to blaringly loud real fast. Carry On happened. The fandom went into a civil war. I can’t even remember half of what happened in Season 16, but it’s been a wild ride. There’s been ups (my personal favorite being the french dub and the Saileen wedding). There’s been downs (Jared’s controversial statements and the original scripts being leaked). At one point Misha Collins had sex with Bill Clinton???? It’s been a wild time. It’s honestly gotten me through the end of this pandemic. At least it’s entertaining. I would say that at least all the craziness is over, but is it ever really over? Every time I say that something else completely insane happens. But it’s been fun. I’m glad I started watching this show despite my reservations and here’s to whatever happens next.

#team free will #team free will 2.0 #castiel #jack kline #sam winchester #dean winchester #sam and dean #destiel #wayward sisters #supernatural #spn #misha collins #jared padalecki #jensen ackles

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gffa · 5 years ago

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Tagged by @generallkenobi Rules: name ten favorite characters from ten things, then tag ten people. 1. Star Wars - Obi-Wan Kenobi & Anakin Skywalker - mmffffmmmfffff, no, you can’t make me choose! I know it seems like I’m probably a bigger fan of Obi-Wan’s, but honestly as much time as I spend thinking about and yelling about Anakin Skywalker, I’m pretty sure they’re tied. I LOVE THEM SO MUCH, sobs. I love Obi-Wan because he’s what I aspire to be, someone who is reserved but shows a depth of feeling at the same time, who has his shit together even when the worst happens, he still finds a way to keep getting back up, and still is kind to the galaxy, finds the good in people. Meanwhile, Anakin Skywalker is someone I see so much of myself in, all that messy noise in my head, the anxiety and depression that I read into his character, the fear of rejection that I’ve experienced on a bone-deep level, the disastrous choices he makes are ones that I feel come from a place where I understand what led him to them, and the fear of how hard it is to look within myself and really face myself, that I avoided it for a lot of years because it was too terrifying. I trash talk him a lot and I yell about the shitty choices he made, but it’s never without the understanding that I feel I understand why he made them and why they resonate so powerfully with me. 2. Sailor Moon - Tsukino Usagi - My forever girl! Usagi’s journey, especially in the manga, as someone who was emotionally fragile and would rather die than live without her special people, to someone who stands up and says, no, this time I’ll be the one to save them! That her journey being told, from that fragile person to that strong person, was worth the telling, that her starting point was worthwhile, not something to be derided, that the journey itself, the back and forth progress of it, that it wasn’t just a straight line, is one that has incredible meaning to me, as someone who has struggled with similar things. 3. Tolkien’s Legendarium - Thranduil - I was totally won over by Lee Pace’s portrayal in the movies, despite my frustration with the way he was written. Part of it is that I’ve always loved the Elves (let me yell about how much I love Thingol, it’s ridiculous) and I love the connections he has to my favorite groups (I love the Sindarin Elves so muuuuuuch, I cry, even as I love the Noldor and Vanyar, too, like, I will fight a man for Finrod, okay, oh, and Fingolfin deserves the world!! and my problematic fave Maedhros ;__;) and I love his relationship with Legolas (or the potential of it that fandom runs with much better than the movies did), but mostly it’s that he’s a king who loves his people and chose them and they loved him in return for it. 4. Bleach - Inoue Orihime - I have a weakness for characters who doubt themselves, but find a core of strength in being kind and loving. That Orihime has this tremendous power, that she could have been the most OP of the entire cast, but thoroughly rejected the idea of using it for violence, and instead only for healing, for kindness, cemented her as one of my forever loves. She can be so silly and loopy and ridiculous, she can be “weak” in the way she cries and reaches out for people, she has trouble letting other people see the truth of her sometimes, but when it counted, she refused to break and instead chose to be kind. I love her so very much. 5. Marvel - Thor - Thor is one of my favorites because the galaxy dumped a whole lot of shit on him and he refused to let it make him be less than he was. Well, at least until Endgame, but we don’t talk about that movie. (And even then it wasn’t that he stumbled, it was how they treated his depression, as one long joke, that makes me RRrrhhhaaggghh about it.) He grieved for everything he lost, including his brother, but he also refused to let Loki walk all over him, that he missed his brother, wished he could trust him, but wouldn’t let Loki’s pain rewrite what actually happened. The conversation on the skiff in Svartalfheim alone is why The Dark World is a movie I will always defend, “Who put me there [in the cell]!?” "You damn well know who!” YOU TELL HIM, THOR. That care + refusing to be budged on what was right, yes, that’s my guy right there. 6. Gravitation - Yuki Eiri - As dumb as this show was (and the manga even more so, but I enjoy the show more), as much as it was a silly BL show, I loved this character for being there for me when I needed him. Someone who had all this anger and hurt inside him, this depression that constantly ate at him, that he pushed people away because he couldn’t stand to let go of it, and it didn’t matter that there were people who loved him who wanted to help him, that a simple hug didn’t fix him, that it could help, but it couldn’t make him magically better--that was something I really needed when I watched the show. That depression and the rage it could cause wasn’t something a hug could fix. That he had to be willing to start opening up to people again, to risking more hurt, and that it wouldn’t be easy--I really, really needed that message at the time I got it, and I will always be thankful to that dumb show for giving it to me. 7. Steven Universe - Pink Diamond - Did you know that one of my favorite things in the world is hot mess lady characters? I love them sooooooo much, like, you give me a lady who did questionable things but we’re still meant to find her sympathetic and her story worth telling? I AM THERE. And Pink just slammed her way into my heart with everything she’d faced, the terrible things the other Diamonds put her through, that she had to change on her own, that she never had a Steven there to help her, she had to realize everything by herself, and that she wasn’t perfect at it, that she hurt people in the way she stumbled forward, yet there was a person there who loved and cared deeply? I love her forever. 8. Adventure Time - Princess Bubblegum - Nerdy science princess who is the sole possessor of a single braincell on the show and yet is just as batshit as the rest of them? The one character who looked at all the wild shit that happened in Ooo and said, sometimes you gotta prepare for the worst or do things that aren’t nice because otherwise we’ll all die? But never stopped caring about her people or the rest of the world and listened to others and tried her best to help? And had this complicated, fraught relationship with Marceline which is one of the best “f/f doesn’t always have to be nice” relationships that I’ve gotten to consume? I LOVE HERRRRR. 9. Mo Dao Zu Shi/The Untamed - Lan Wangji - I am weak to his character type, okay! Reserved, talented, driven up the wall by the genius brat that bugs the shit out of him but also he loves them the most in the world, and utterly devoted to them? YEAH THAT SOUNDS LIKE MY TYPE. Also, Wang Yibo is so good-looking in the drama, oh my god. 10. Fruits Basket - Honda Tohru - Another character who refused to let the crap piled on her make her any less kind to the world. She goes through so much and yet never stops loving people and finding sympathy for them, she never stops reaching out her hand. While she’s never expected to do this, she’s never obligated to do so, there are plenty of characters in the series that are understandably angry and closed off that aren’t judged for being that way, that Tohru chooses to be open and loving, no matter how much she’s hurt for it, is a wonderful counterbalance. And I am forever grateful that she got the family she wanted, she got the guy she wanted to fall in love with, she got to meet all these people she cared about and they cared about her in return, and she was stronger in her love than any of them were in their fear, anger, or hate. I LOVE HER FOREVER. Tagging: DON’T MAKE ME CHOOSE sobs

#lumi.txt

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waywardangel-13 · 5 years ago

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So here's my thing with Season 15 (mostly 15x03, but oh well):

I have mixed feelings.

Every Friday, I set an early alarm so I have time to watch the latest SPN episode before I need to start my day. Today, at 5:26 in the morning, I found myself sobbing in bed because the writers [SPOILER] killed Rowena.

I love Rowena. She is, honest to Chuck, one of my favorite characters. They sent her off really well; she sacrificed herself for the Winchesters. That "Goodbye boys" killed me; I knew she was going to say it, I was expecting it, but DAMN. It got me. I was devastated. She was introduced a queen and she died a queen. I fucking love her so much.

Ketch also died. I wasn't horribly devastated. However, I was really proud of him. When he said "Not for any price" (I don't remember exactly what he said), I was like damn. That..that is what we call character development. And then he got his heart ripped out.

For this next part, I'm sorry. Some people may disagree with me on this but I do not care, this is what I believe: Dean is being a "great big bag of dicks".

Like, seriously. My dude. Don't be pissed at Cas. There was something wrong with Jack; you need to understand that Cas was trying to figure out a way to save him. Yes, it was shitty of him to not tell you, but he is trying to reconcile, and you keep spitting in his face. That's not cool. Remember, yes, you just lost your mom, but he also was just betrayed by his dad. At least Dean knows Mary is at peace; Cas has to deal with the ultimate shit storm that his dad started. He's hurting too.

However, no matter how pissed at Dean I am right now, I really, really hope he comes to his senses quickly. Because, and, sorry for those who don't ship them, Destiel needs to happy. I don't fucking care if all we see is Dean grab Cas' hand or if there's like, I don't know, AN ACTUAL CONVERSATION ABOUT TRUE FEELINGS, it just needs to happen.

That said, I am actually really happy that Castiel stood up for himself. I literally was just like "YEAH, THAT'S MY BABY" when he said he was leaving....but I was also watching in horror because Dean has been such an asshole that the angel that fell (in this case I mean literally fell) for him leaves. You know, and it's funny, cuz I watch Supernatural, but one of my biggest pet peeves in media is when one character takes their anger and grief out on everyone around them and there ends up being a huge misunderstanding which kills the audience. (It's ironic because that's basically every other episode of SPN, but still.)

I did like Belphegor, I do admit. But, honestly, everyone could see his betrayal coming. I still like him though, even though he did end up a crappy guy.

(Also, Cas having to smite Jack's body was DEVASTATING. I wanted to hug him the whole time. Poor baby.)

Sam is legit the sanest one of the bunch right now. I'm really worried about his "God-Bullet-Connection". Like he needs a hug. I'm worried. Also, Jared's performance when Rowena was convincing Sam to kill her gave me chills. Sam crying=me crying=my mom thinking that I'm nuts and very masochistic (I mean like the entire SPN fandom is, sooo...)

It made me very happy to meet Kevin, and I laughed my ass off at the fact that he was considered a "bad boy" in Hell. That is so funny to me, because when he said that I pictured his haircut from way back in Season 7. Speaking of Season 7 Kevin (haha that rhymed), look how far he has come! He was a smol prophet bean and then he became a smol-er ghost prophet bean, not to mention a badass. I'm so proud. (Wipes tear). But I'm not happy he was gone so quickly. It was like "Look guys! There's a wild Kevin! Haven't seen him in a while!" and then it was like "Oh..he's leaving...bye Kevin." [Looks down sadly]....But I was glad to see him while it lasted. I'm also really happy Osric got that role on Legends of Tomorrow. Haven't seen him on TV in a while.

I want original Charlie back even though she probably won't be. But Eileen is coming back and I'm happy with that.

I'm curious about Michael and Adam and when they're showing up.

AMARA KILLS ME. Okay, sue me, I've always liked her, even though she basically stalked Dean for the entirety of Season 11. But I've always liked her. And you know what? Emily Swallow is GREAT in Season 15. Chuck came in and was like "Hey sis I did something" and she shut him DOWN. I also love how she's living it up in Vegas. That shit's funny. She walked out on Chuck and I love that.

I have nothing to say about Chuck. To put it lightly, I'm upset with him right now.

All that said, I am really excited for the rest of Season 15. Dean needs to get his shit together and apologize to Cas, Sam...I hope you're gonna be okay, like seriously, Cas...good luck on the Dean front and good luck with your dad. Kevin, I miss you, Rowena, you are a QUEEN, Ketch, I am proud, Belphegor flirted with Dean, I NEED MY GIRLS BACK, Michael and Adam, congrats on being topside, Amara slays, and Chuck....stop.

(I'm sorry if you read this. I'm on a 9 hour car ride with my brother and he's listening to an audiobook on streetfighting in the 1940s and I needed to rant. Sorry for any spelling errors.)

Edit: My brother just asked me what I was doing for the past hour and I showed him this post and he said, "YOU COULD'VE DONE YOUR HOMEWORK THREE TIMES OVER AND INSTEAD YOU DID THIS?!" And then I was like, "YES." lmao

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hazzabeeforlou · 6 years ago

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11/11/11

Oh my gosh so my lovely friends @halosboat @helloamhere and @haztobegood all tagged me in this so I’m going to answer a few from each of them I hope that’s okay!!

1. Do you prefer to write in past or present tense?

I mostly use past tense. Present squeaks me out a bit, not sure why, perhaps my anxiety can’t deal with things happening in the moment! I have an irrational fear of the word ‘was,’ though, which is eliminated in present by ‘is’ so, one would think I’d like present more but I *don’t*

2. Is there any story you want to write but feel like you won’t manage?

My story The Garden is going to be... hard. It’s a soulmate fic set in three time periods, a Biblical AU following the reincarnation of lovers David+Johnathan but in the middle ages, Jesus+Judas in the 1960s, and Adam+Eve in the present day, all obviously portrayed by Harry and Louis. It stems from the evangelical idea that Adam, David, and Jesus were the three ‘Christs,’ or rather that Adam and David were imperfect Saviors. Anyways. I want it to explore divinity and fate and religion and politics and loss and violence and love, and the blurring between good and evil and if there even is a distinction, and it’s so clear in my mind that I can almost taste it, but because of that I’m very daunted by the prospect. It would also be very LONG. And idk who would read a biblical gay love story AU so... I’ve even considered just doing a novel, not a fan fic *shrugs*

3. Which one of your fics do you think deserves more love?

OH BOY. Well I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again. My RUDOLPH THE RED NOSED REINDEER AU. Like. Harry is a shapeshifting reindeer. He pulls Santa’s sleigh. He love Christmas more than anything in this whole damn world. Louis is one of Santa’s elves and Harry’s best friend and he wants nothing more than to run away and explore the world. There’s all the mutual idiotic oblivious pining. There’s Christmas shit. SO much Christmas shit. There’s smut. There’s magic. Peppermint dildos. Need I say more?

4. Are the fictional characters you like to read/write similar to the people you like in real life?

I unfortunately read about the people in my real life quite enough in the news *trump voters cough cough* so no, I try to fill my fictional life with witches and warlocks and fairies and intellectuals and scientists and the occasional damsel wandering the moors. As for the characters I write, I have noticed that I tend to make them all very emotionally prone, which I think is more a reflection of myself than the people I’m around. I honestly base most of my characters, or at least their inner issues, on myself, not in an egotistical way, but in an ‘I know myself better than anyone else in my life’ way. Now. Do I like myself? Haha. Um. Ya there’s a reason I solve my self-based character’s problems in fics, I usually need to learn those lessons in my real life.

5. What is your biggest fear about your writing?

My biggest fear has always been failure. As a musician, I’m constantly fearing my art. It’s my profession, and it has to be perfect, and it’s a constant strain. So when it comes to writing, I just don’t let myself care. That’s not to say I don’t edit obsessively and let my perfectionist side play, but because writing is for fun, I don’t fear failing at it. So what if no one reads a story I wrote? I wrote it for me. I wanted to read that story, so I did, and if people hate it, so what. If writing ever became my profession I would likely attach my self worth to it like I do with music, and that’s part of the reason I shy away from that path... I want writing to always be my safe place. Now mechanically, I admit freely that I am the world’s WORST speller. Above that, I also am slightly dyslexic when it comes to right/left, music staff lines, and some words, so I’ll often use the wrong word that sounds the same, you know. Believe it or not my vocab score on the GRE was fucking PERFECT. I just can’t remember how to spell anything, I will legit SPEAK the word I want into Siri and hope she can save my ass. The spelling rules of English are my worse enemy.

6. What is the least “you” story that you like, what was something you really thought you wouldn’t like but ended up loving?

This is so hard because I’m super picky and usually don’t have the patience to wait out things that initially fail to grab my interest. Perhaps... dare I say, the Great British Baking show? I eat none of the things they make. I usually don’t like reality tv or competition shows, they’re too anxiety inducing. But I LOVE this show. I will binge watch it while curled up in bed drinking tea. I now know what a proving drawer is.

7. How do you think about places, locations, settings for your fics?

Usually my plots come ready-made with places. The two are pretty inseparable. I knew PITS would happen in a place like my hometown, that was integral to the story. I knew Until You Remember would be a coastal British village like I’d seen on BBC shows. I knew Flawless would be in NYC, and same with Reindeer Games (apart from the North Pole of course). For Kiss the Girl I did debate between Miami and St. Pete, but having been to both I just... Miami is so wild. I needed a slow, tired place that felt old and forgotten. I guess the real answer to this question is that I set fics mostly in places where I’ve spent time in real life!

8. Give me an example of a scene or plot point in a fic of yours that changed a lot from what you thought it would be

I struggled a lot with the end of Flawless. I’d written this fic and posed all these problems and questions about the nature of love and passion and art and they were all questions I’d been dealing with in my real life and hence I just didn’t have the answers. So I sat on the fic for a while and spent lots of time just thinking, thinking while I put makeup on in the morning, during rehearsal, as I drove places, etc. I remember when the answer “art never needs to be flawless to merit love/people don’t need to be flawless to merit love” hit me, I was sitting on the bathroom counter flossing my teeth or something, and I just jumped up and ran to my notebook. Because that’s a super obvious answer, isn’t it? But I hadn’t been able to find it amidst all the clutter of my questions.

9. Do you consider tags necessary for fics or are they just spoiling the content?

100% necessary. I was super conscious of this for PITS, as the last thing I ever wanted to do was trigger people trying to avoid trauma. Also, as someone who will actively stop movies or shows if I don’t know the ending is happy, I always am clear about that as well. Spoilers and proper tagging aren’t mutually exclusive, in my opinion.

10. Is there any author that inspired you to start writing?

Well... I’ve been writing stories since I was very little, so I’m sure many of my influences have been subconscious ones. However! When Christopher Paolini wrote Eragon, I remember thinking ‘hey if one homeschooled weirdo can do it so can I!”

11. Was there a fic that made you cry?

Pretty sure everything soft and magical that Phoenix @alienfuckeronmain has ever written has made me cry. Including her recent girl direction fic that I had the absolute honor of cheerleading for. I think about that underpass scene all the goddamn time. Um... Nina @pattern-pals wrote this STUNNING girl direction serpent fic that left me a fucking mess, like it was HOLY and I wanted to run to the nearest cathedral and jump in a vat of holy water and scream into stained glass windows, that type of holy. I *sobbed* myself to sleep reading the end of the world fic (I forget the name, I’ll never read it again, it hurt too badly) you know the classic one. God. Ya. Um, but in the GOOD tears category I absolutely bawled at @crinkle-eyed-boo ‘s While You Were Sleeping AU, and I am usually not a rom com sappy type of person but it hit ALL the right notes and I loved it so fucking much.

HOLY SHIT THIS IS SO LONG I’M SORRY! Okay 11 Questions.

1. If you could crawl inside one of your stories and live, which one would it be and why?

2. Is there any imagery you return to again and again?

3. Do descriptions of characters’ clothing factor into your fics a lot, why or why not?

4. Which of your fics would you want adapted to the big screen and why?

5. Are there any place you won’t go with your writing that other’s might think is an usual trigger, i.e. how Indiana Jones hates snakes?

6. Which composer would score your favorite fic and why?

7. Have you ever fallen in love with one of your characters or written a character as a wish-fulfillment perfect partner for yourself?

8. How do you write accents/dialect differences in your fics?

9. Do you ever find yourself re-using words/sentences for kissing or smut? How do you avoid repetition?

10. Which fic author has most touched your soul?

11. If you had to pick only one fic to read over and over again for the rest of your life, what would it be?

@always-aqua @metal-eye @newleafover @lesbianiconharrystyles @pattern-pals @alienfuckeronmain I’m not sure if you’ve all been tagged yet but I think pretty much EVERYONE else has been, however if you haven’t been consider this your tag and please @ me!!!

#11/11/11 #about me #wow this got long so sorry

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justmochi · 6 years ago

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11:53

Pairing┊Jenn x Mother

Word Count┊0.7k

Summary┊It only gets harder from here

A/N┊This post contains sensitive subjects that may not be suitable for everyone. Read at your own risk.

January 9, 2010

Jenn woke up, not only to excessive amounts of pain but with an oxygen cannula on her face. Her lungs weren't behaving as well after her surgery. She had a minor operation to place her infusion port, the device that she would get chemotherapy through. There was not much to reduce the pain and stinging sensation on her chest. The surgeons cut through a muscle, so she was surely going to be in pain for a while.

Coming off the effects of anesthesia, she whined to the nurse in the post-anesthesia unit about her pain. The nurse was nice to her, telling her it was okay, that she would give the meds to her and her parents would be back to see her soon.

Jenn was very tired, but seeing her mom and dad made her cry. Not because of the pain, but the anesthesia made her a bit affectionate. Her mom kissed her temple while wiping her tears.

"Don't cry, you're just fine" She reassured her daughter.

January 11, 2010

Two days and the pain was starting to wear off. Not all the way, but tolerable. The night before, Jenn hadn't been out of bed since the surgery, except to go to the bathroom. She was motivated to get out of bed and walk the unit halls. The nurses at the station smiled brightly after her. The nurse on night-shift, who had been taking care of her for the past two days especially felt proud.

Later that night, the nurse came in with chocolate ice cream and Jenn had found her favorite nurse. She was always a night owl so when she would come in every hour. The nurse would sigh and shake her head seeing her awake late. They would whisper and giggle quietly because Jenn's mom was fast asleep on a cot.

The nurse said goodbye to the two as they were about to head for another scan, with the intentions of starting chemotherapy later during the day.

January 12, 2010

Chemo was delayed due to Jenn not being hydrated enough. They gave all their patients tons of fluids because the chemicals would make everyone nauseous, and to deal with nausea, the nurses would put the patients into a medically induced coma. But she'd wake up on her own whenever she needed to go to the bathroom, or the effects wore off. Jenn would have to be super hydrated before she was unable to eat or drink for days.

The night shift nurse came in with tons of equipment. "The doctor gave us the cue to start"

The realization hit her and she told herself, this is really happening. Jenn's nerves were running wild as they arranged everything together.

"It is 11:53 PM. The drugs are going" The nurse nodded in her direction.

Jenn was surprised to not feel anything different. But less than an hour after receiving the chemicals, she could feel her eyes start to water and burn.

"Is this a side effect?" Jenn asked her mom.

"Possibly," She sat up in her seat, observing Jenn. Thankfully for her children, she was a nurse, and a good one to be specific. "I don't think I've ever seen kids react like this"

Jenn fell asleep not long after that. The chemicals were finally kicking in when she woke up suddenly. She felt extremely nauseous like she could throw chunks any second. She tapped on the bed rail to try to wake her mother up. The sound just barely woke her up, she was quite out of it.

"I feel sick" Jenn whined.

Her mother was quick to get a bucket from the closet in the room, placing it on her daughter's lap. Jenn felt her entire body go hot, and then suddenly cold. The next thing she knows, she's throwing up anything and everything in her stomach. It was harsh for her mother to watch, holding her hair out of her face and rubbing her back. So harsh that tears were falling from Jenn's eyes.

Her mother quickly called the nurse in and once her heaving came to a stop, Jenn sobbed into her mom's arms.

"I don't want to do this anymore"

Jenn thought she was prepared and ready to go. She wasn't

#justmochi: jenn #8th member of got7 #jenn.backstory #kpop female addition #oc!kpop #oc!idol

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theepitomeofamess · 6 years ago

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*yeets this at you from within the void*

Strictly for Convenience pt. 10 (aka the finale)

word count: 3276

Ao3 link

Previous parts: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9

taglist: @shattered-raine @insert-epic-blogger-name-here @ilylogan@reallyanextrovertipromise @ladynightmare12 @allsortsofgeekery@awkwardangie410 @th3okamid3mon@shattereddreamsamongotherthings @februaryfun @izlaria@keeshy-ekho @a-ghosts @virge-of-a-breakdown @doepuffsss@lyre-lyre-numb-desire @vexation-virgil @detective-lemon@nightwhisker17 @shadycomputerduck @randomfanderfriend@ab-artist @penguinkool @another-sandersidesblog@iamdefinitelynotanalien @spectralheartt @aroundofaceapplesauce@downrightdanny @rainfallen9 @theunoriginaldaisy @izzynuggets

y’all i honestly don’t know how to thank you for reading along and enjoying this, it means so much and I wish it wouldn’t end (i also wish that any of the endings i came up with would do you guys justice but that just wasn’t possible) so without further ado, enjoy the final chapter!

They spent that night together. They shared a bed, never left each other’s arms, did everything short of actual intercourse - Logan held that barrier firm, and though Patton couldn’t see why, he respected it. He was too happy to question Logan’s motives. He was too fully engulfed in blissful warmth, strong arms and lips that had worked themselves soft. Patton learned every hair on Logan’s head and Logan could name each and every one of Patton’s freckles. Patton fell asleep in Logan’s arms, Logan to the smell of Patton’s hair, and neither of them could think of anything they’d experienced - anything they’d ever heard of - that was more perfect.

And Patton, for the second morning in a row, woke up smiling until he realized that he was alone.

A letter sat on the pillow next to him in place of Logan, there sat a letter addressed to “My Beloved.”

Patton tore it open to read, but he couldn’t read it without his glasses. He shoved his glasses in front of his eyes, but it was too dark to make out the words. He stumbled over himself getting to the window, throwing open the curtain, and though it was too bright to be comfortable for his still sleeping eyes, he could finally read Logan’s neat script.

I’m sorry. I’m sorry for last night, I was not in my right mind. I’m sorry that you were forced to spend this portion of your life with me, though I am sure you’ll forget it soon enough. I’m sorry for loving you and for making you think you love me in return. I’m sorry.

I made a promise, though, and I am keeping it. I promised that I would ensure that you are safe and happy and loved as you should be, and I am keeping that promise. I wish that I could keep that promise by staying with you, but there is no way that I could ever love you as you should be loved. It is killing me to leave you this morning, but I swore that I would keep this promise if it killed me, and so I am keeping it. I know that it may hurt at first - Heaven and Hell only know how much it hurts me to keep writing this - but you will get past it. I have left you in the safe arms of your family, and I know for a fact that you will be far happier with them and whoever you choose to replace me than you could have ever been with me. I hope that you will respect my decision, and that the only time we meet again will be to split the fortune that is owed you. By then, I will be a hollow shell of a man, and you will be glad that I left you to find your true love.

Yours entirely, yours eternally,

Logan Foster.

Patton didn’t know if he burst into tears because of anger or sadness or frustration or despair or something in the middle, but he was crying before he got halfway through the letter. By the time he was reading the name, he was on his knees, bawling. The letter was on the floor in front of him, he was crumpled in on himself, hugging himself close as he tried to keep himself together so he didn’t fall apart as he felt his insides shredding to pieces. His tears rained down onto the letter in front of him, staining it with sorrow.

He knew that it was Virgil who found him while he was still sobbing. He knew the gentle touch well, especially in combination with the sobs that made him feel like he was going to be sick. Virgil was always the one that found him and held him when he had a breakdown. There wasn’t usually a big reason.

He heard the paper shift as Virgil picked it up to read it, sighing to himself before passing it off to Roman, who had just come in. Patton just barely heard Roman curse Logan as he bent further over himself, arms gripped around his midsection as he felt his chin against his knees, his forehead against the carpet. He heard Roman shut and lock the door, keeping everybody else out. He and Virgil were the only ones who knew both Logan and Patton well enough to figure something out, and they could go and find Dexter if they needed his help.

“I thought that everything was okay,” Virgil sighed, still gently holding Patton, hand drawing soothing circles on his back. When he’d seen the two of them going upstairs last night, holding hands and Patton unable to stop smiling, he’d thought that they’d finally worked things out. He thought that Patton was finally going to be truly happy.

Virgil liked Logan - he did - and he could hear in the letter that he thought he was doing the right thing. That didn’t stop him from swearing that if the moron didn’t make amends, then he would kill him the next time he saw him.

Patton wasn’t sure when his sobbing turned to shaken breaths, how long it took for the shaking to stop and for the lack of any feeling to take over. He had no idea what he was planning to do when he got up and got dressed. There was still something burning in the pit of his stomach, but it was quiet now. It wasn’t lashing out. I just needed to move, to go.

Patton didn’t quite remember Virgil and Roman asking where he was going when they heard him asking for a car to be brought around. He didn’t quite remember telling them that he was “going to find my moron” and that if he couldn’t be found he’d be back before midnight. Neither of them tried to stop him, instead offering to go with him for moral support. Patton denied with a slight smile. He couldn’t remember what exactly made him smile - maybe it was habit, maybe it was Virgil and Roman, two of the most important and loved people in his world, maybe it was something else. Either way, he smiled as he got into the car and rode away from his childhood home.

Roman stood outside, watching the drive for longer than he probably should have, thinking back to the last day he and Virgil stayed at Foster house, the night that Logan had pulled him aside.

“Listen,” he’d started, leaning forward toward Logan. “I like you. I can’t believe I’m admitting it, but I do. That being said, if you ever turn, if you ever do anything to hurt him-”

“You’ll kill me,” Logan smirked, obviously just tipsy enough on wine and whiskey to be open. “You and your husband and your brother and his husband. Yes, I’ve heard this speech before, and from a much more intimidating source. Don’t worry, I can’t exactly outrun you.” Roman winced as Logan pulled up the leg of his pants to reveal his prosthetic. “You have nothing to worry about, anyway. I don’t think I’ll ever mean enough to him to hurt him. Not in any permanent way.”

“I don’t know if I’d go that far,” Roman tilted his head. “You seem to be growing on him.”

“It’s easier to act that way when he has people that he loves around, namely you and Virgil.” Logan took a deep breath, his gaze shifting slightly to stare at something behind Roman where nothing existed. “Your brother… is everything good about this world. Aphrodite couldn’t dream of being so beautiful, Apollo himself couldn’t begin to shine as brightly. I knew that the minute I saw him. I’ll never deserve him. I’ll keep him safe for as long as he needs, but only until he finds someone much closer to being worthy of him. Something as cold hearted as me…” Logan took another deep breath and another swig from his glass of whiskey. “You won’t have me in your hair for long. I promise.” Logan finished his glass and marched for the door to the others before Roman could get in another word.

It was that exchange that made Roman’s big brother instincts kick in and start worrying not only about his precious Patton, but Logan as well. Now, watching the road Logan had snuck down like a thief in the night, the road Patton was taking to track him down, Roman could only wish for them to work something out, for them to be happy.

It didn’t take long for Patton to reach Foster house. Nothing much had changed - everything was still in bloom, saturated with color and life as the sun shone bright in the clear sky. The only thing that seemed out of place was the taxi pulled up in front of the door. It didn’t stay, though. It started away as Patton approached, revealing an obviously frustrated Dexter standing on the other side of it.

“Finally. I knew you’d show up,” he called out as Patton got out of the car.

“How long have you been here? I thought you were-”

“I heard him leaving and knew that somebody had to keep him where he could be found. I was only a few minutes behind him.” Dexter led Patton inside to the library as he explained, the sound of someone talking to himself echoing into the hall.

“I dreamt last night our love return’d,” Logan muttered to himself as Dexter led Patton to the open door to the library. He was shelving books, reciting to himself absentmindedly. “And, sooth to say, that very dream/ was sweeter than its phantasy,/ Than if for other hearts I burn’d,/ For eyes that ne’er like thine could beam/ In Rapture’s wild reality.”

“I tried talking to him,” Dexter whispered to Patton, “but he doesn’t listen to me. Good luck.” Patton stepped forward into the library, Logan’s back still to him as he kept stacking, kept reciting from memory.

“Then tell me not, remind me not,/ Of hours which, though for ever gone,/ Can still a pleasing dream restore,/ Till Thou and I shall be forgot,/ And senseless, as the mouldering stone/ Which tells that we shall be no more.” Logan bent over his desk, fingernails finding their way to his lip as he looked over something.

“I think I remember that one,” Patton announced, stepping closer into the library. Logan nearly jumped out of his skin. “You read that to me once. You thought I was asleep.”

“I thought that you were going to do as I said,” Logan muttered, wiping the blood from his lip with a bandaged hand.

“When have I ever done that? Also, what did you do to your hand?”

“It’s no-”

“He punched the wall,” Dexter interrupted, leaning against the doorway.

“You punched a wall?”

“It’s the only way he’ll let himself have any sort of emotional release. You wouldn’t believe how many times he’s broken-”

“Dexter,” Logan’s voice cracked, edging on a shout. “Do you mind?” Dexter shrugged, silently wishing Patton good luck one last time before closing the door behind him. “You should have stayed with your family.”

“Did you honestly think that after what we’ve been through, that after last night, I’d just let you go that easily?”

“You’re not bound to me,” Logan reminded him. “I made sure of that, that we weren’t ever properly together so you can leave without feeling obligated to stay.”

“I know that I’m not obligated, but I am going to stay because it’s what I want.”

“I thought that we both knew that this was strictly for convenience, that it wouldn’t-”

“What about this is convenient, Logan?” Patton’s voice was steadier than he’d imagined it would be. He thought that he would be screaming already. “What has happened that you imagine is convenient?”

“I was trying to make it convenient for you by giving you a safe place to stay that was acceptable to your parents until you found a person and place that you loved. I was trying to make everything convenient for you, not me.”

“And by trying to do that, you’ve only made things more complicated. You could have made everything easier for both of us if you would just accept that we love each other and make each other happy. Why can’t you just accept that?”

“Because I know that I don’t - I could never deserve you. You wouldn’t stay happy - I could never make you as happy as you can possibly be. I’ve seen you at your happiest, and I couldn’t-”

“You don’t know that! When do you think you’ve seen me at my happiest when you weren’t-”

“Two years ago, Christmas at Hemingway Manor.” Patton shut his mouth, taken aback by the answer. He hardly remembered that night. “We were only introduced, I doubted that you’d remember. In fact, I counted on it. I saw you, though. I fell for you that night. I saw you dance the night away, watched as you laughed and twirled and glowed brighter than all the thousands of candles that lit the place. I saw you and I loved you, and when I realized it was you that I was engaged to, I made a plan to ensure your happiness. I can’t make you happy like that - I never could - but I could make you comfortable until you found a way out. And I still stand by that plan. It’s hit some bumps in the road, but I still believe that someone else will be so much better for you. I never wanted to hurt you, but while I was trying to stay away you were...” Patton sighed as Logan pressed his palm to his forehead.

“Okay,” Patton thought out loud. Shouting wasn’t going to work with Logan - all it did was get him more worked up which led to more shutting down. “Here’s what we’re going to do. You and I will stay together, live together like none of this mess ever happened, like a normal married couple would, until our one year anniversary. That gives us, what, nine or ten months to live together? If by then one of us has fallen out of love with the other, then we’ll separate. If not, then we won’t, and you’ll have to accept that we’re happy. Deal?” Patton put out his hand for Logan to shake, smiling only enough for Logan to know that there were no hard feelings.

Logan couldn’t find it in him to say no. He went over Patton’s proposition again and again in his head, but he couldn’t find a way that it wouldn’t work out. He knew that Patton would come to his senses sooner or later, and sure, he would always feel guilty for taking up a year of his life when he could have been anywhere else, but if Patton was so determined to have his way…

“All right. Deal,” Logan conceded, taking Patton’s hand to shake. He only wondered for an instant why Patton’s grip was so strong until he was yanked forward, Patton’s lips pressing to his to seal the deal. Patton wasn’t a fan of the metallic taste of anxiety on his lip, but he was too glad to have him close to care. He would find a way to help him with that - he had time. He wasn’t going anywhere any time soon.

Patton couldn’t stop smiling. The evening air of Spring was light in his lungs, warm on his skin. In the field in front of him, he could see all five of his brothers, his parents, a few of Logan’s friends standing in the field. Logan was standing in front of the same priest that had married them, his light grey suit and blue tie matching Patton’s perfectly. They stood just at the edge of the forest, and the bluebells were in full bloom.

Renewing their vows had been Logan’s idea. He’d brought it up the night of their anniversary when they got back from what was deemed Patton’s victory dinner. They were just at the front door when it started snowing and Patton stopped to watch. The suggestion had barely processed in Patton’s mind when he turned to see Logan down on one knee, enveloping Logan’s fingers in both of his hands.

“Will you allow me to be yours forever, for us this time?” He didn’t get a verbal answer like he’d been anticipating, instead immediately tackled into the snow by an ecstatic Patton, crying and kissing him and hugging him close. Flakes of snow crowned his curls and Logan swore for the hundredth time in his life that he had never seen anything so exquisite.

He swore the same thing for the two-hundredth time when he saw Patton settle beside him in front of the priest.

“Logan,” Patton smiled up at Logan, recalling the vows that he’d worked out days earlier, “you did everything that you could to get me to leave you. You challenged me, tested my resolve, and swore that it was all for my happiness. A year ago, I was at my happiest when you agreed to my deal. I grew happier every day after that, I got to see you every day, I got to make you happy, and I fell more and more in love with you. I am never going to leave you, I will never let you think that you’re not enough because it’s you that has made me the happiest man on the face of the earth, and I will spend every second of my life trying to make you feel something close to how you make me feel.” Logan reached out, taking Patton’s hand in his, cheeks dusted a glorious shade of red. He straightened his back when the priest told him it was his turn.

“I am not often wrong. Ask anyone who knows me, I don’t make mistakes and am usually right about things. I still think that I am right in that I will never deserve you. However, you have proven yourself right. Every day for the past year you’ve proven yourself right because every day I swore to myself that you would come to your senses and be gone by the next day. I still think that you should have, that I should have stayed away from you so you could find someone that deserves you. Nonetheless, allow me to admit for the first and hopefully last time: You’re right, I was wrong, and I acted like an idiot. And yes, you do have permission to hold that over my head for the rest of our lives now that we’re stuck together by choice.” Patton laughed, causing Logan to break into the widest grin Patton had ever seen on his face. “I love you, Patton Foster. I love you, and I cannot imagine my life without you in it.”

“You may-” Patton already had his arms around Logan’s neck, their lips pressed together before the priest could finish the line. He felt lighter than air, Logan’s bear hug the only thing keeping him from floating away on cloud nine. The small audience cheered, Dexter and Remy both whistled, but Patton was already long gone. Pulling away only slightly, all that Patton saw was eyes glittering with endless galaxies and a smile that could cure any disease. All he heart was the tempo of Logan’s heart and the slight chuckle of disbelief that rose in his throat. Engulfed in the scent of ink and bluebells, Patton giggled as Logan hugged him closer, picking him up off the ground to twirl him around.

Nothing could be better.

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felixthekoala · 6 years ago

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I Can Be Your Hero ~ Chapter 13

Group: Stray Kids

Pairing: Stray Kids x Reader

Description: One night you get sucked into your favorite superhero comic, Stray Kids. What will happen when you get swept up in their battle against evil?

a/n: I’m sorry this took so long to update!! The final chapter will (hopefully) be released in the near future. Thank you to those who have stuck along so far for this wild mess of a ride :)

Read the previous chapters here: {1}{2}{3}{4}{5}{6}{7}{8}{9}{10}{11}{12}

The five of you walked back to Chan's house in silence, the boys too stunned to say anything. Hyunjin kept looking at you with hurt and confused eyes, then sighed and looked away. You felt like shit. Minho had just exposed the one secret that could tear you away from the boys, and it looks like he was succeeding. No, Minho didn't do this. Minho had known for a while. Shade was the one who did this. Shade needed to go.

When you returned to the house, Chan called everyone down for a meeting. Sleep in everyone's eyes, they begrudgingly made their way down and onto the couches.

"I feel I owe you all an explanation. Hyunjin, Jisung, and Changbin heard something tonight that I have to explain. God, how do I explain this?" He looked absolutely lost. Standing up, you walked over to him, taking over while he collected himself.

"First off, I'm not actually a family friend of Chan's. When you all found me, I had just arrived in this… well… in this world." You ignored the confused chatter and forged on. "You see, in the world I come from, you are all characters in a comic book. I explained this to Chan when I first arrived, and he worked hard to first find a way for me to return, but he also discovered more about my world and your world." It was your turn to be at a loss for words. You had no idea how to explain what he had discovered, it still confused you somewhat. Chan stepped forward again, proceeding to explain for you.

"In short, we are not actually in a comic book, we are our own people, however, in her world we appear that way. It's hard for me to explain, but basically we live in two different worlds, and hers happens to have a comic book about us that we alter through our actions. But our world is just as real as hers. Are you guys following?" They responded with slow nods. "I am truly sorry we did not tell you, please don't blame y/n at all, I was the one who forced her to keep it a secret from you all, so if anyone is to blame, it's me."

They boys looked between you and Chan, before hopping up and pulling you both into a group hug.

"Wherever you came from, we're glad you're here, y/n," Seungmin reassured you, hugging you tightly.

"I'm glad I'm here too. And I'm not going anywhere," you admitted.

Chan chuckled, then cleared his throat. “I’m glad we’ve cleared all this up, but we have some other things we need to discuss too. Like Hyunjin. He seems to have new “light” powers like Seungmin. It’s almost as if his blue lightning gives people an energy boost or something. When he did that to Jisung, he was able to eliminate the darkness in Minho for a second. I think that’s our best bet at defeating Shade.”

“Really?” Jisung asked. “So you think it’s possible for me to help Minho with my powers?”

Chan nodded and Jisung cracked a smile, a rare occurrence nowadays. The rest of the boys were listening intently, a hint of a smile on their face at the prospect of getting their friend back.

"Uh, y/n, may I speak to you for a second?" Chan asked.

You looked up to face him and nodded, following him into his room.

He closed the door behind you and sat nervously on his bed.

"I wanted to apologize to you for the other night, I don't know what came over me. Well, that's a lie. I- you were right," he stumbled through his apology. You sat next to him on the bed.

"Chan, you don't have to-"

"No, I do. I need you to know you can snap some sense into me, the team needs that. I was not going about things properly the other night, and I took it out on you. And for that I am so so sorry. You were right, I can't just bottle up my emotions. God, you have no idea how much I've needed to just let it out and cry."

"Then do it," you spoke up, placing a reassuring hand on his shoulder. "I'm here for you, and I promise I won't think less of you if you cry."

He turned to face you, tears already brimming his eyes. "Thanks, y/n, I don't know what I'd do without you." He wrapped his arms around you sobbing into your shoulder. When you hugged him back, you found it impossible to stop the tears from flowing out of your eyes. A broken sob escaped his lips, and you rubbed circles in his back, hugging him tighter.

This had to end. Shade had to stop hurting the people you loved.

You made your way downstairs, stopping when you saw only one person left in the living room.

"Where are the boys?" you asked Jisung. He jumped when he heard your voice. Recovering quickly, he cleared his throat.

"They went to bed." You noticed he had one shoe on and was tying the other.

"And where might you be going?"

"You know where I'm going. And don't bother trying to stop me, okay? I'm going to get Minho back or die trying."

You sighed.

"Let me get my coat. I'm coming too."

His shoulders visibly relaxed when he realized he wouldn't have to fight you on this, and nodded. When you pulled your coat on, you realized you needed a plan.

"Jisung, remember how Hyunjin boosted you and you were able to get through to Minho?"

"Yeah…?"

"What if we did that again?"

A smile spread across his face. "I like the way you think, y/n."

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qveenofthorns · 7 years ago

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Brave, gentle, strong: there is only one (no really—I checked)

“When you’re old enough, I will make you a match with a high lord who’s worthy of you, someone brave and gentle and strong.” – Eddard Stark, Sansa III, AGOT

I’ve seen a lot of metas about textual evidence for Sandor being the BGS That Was Promised™, and I started wondering if there are any other candidates. What if we’re all so ~blinded~ by our ship that we missed something else right in front of us? I used A Search of Ice and Fire to check every single Sansa/Alayne chapter for these words (and variations of them) to see if she thinks of anyone else using all of these terms.

Here are all of the of the uses sorted by character/chronologically (excluding the times she tells Sweetrobin that he’s brave and strong or she tells herself to be brave like Robb):

Joffrey

1. “It was a great honor to ride with the queen, and besides, Prince Joffrey might be there. Her betrothed. Just thinking it made her feel a strange fluttering inside, even though they were not to marry for years and years. Sansa did not really know Joffrey yet, but she was already in love with him. He was all she ever dreamt her prince should be, tall and handsome and strong, with hair like gold.” Sansa I, AGOT

Okay, so I think we can discount this one given the context of Ned’s “brave and gentle and strong” quote, but I really wanted to cover all the bases. It’s also a pretty superficial assessment, moulding him to fit the part in which she’s cast him based on the songs.

Barristan Selmy

1. “One knight wore an intricate suit of white enameled scales, brilliant as a field of new-fallen snow, with silver chasings and clasps that glittered in the sun. When he removed his helm, Sansa saw that he was an old man with hair as pale as his armor, yet he seemed strong and graceful for all that. From his shoulders hung the pure white cloak of the Kingsguard.” Sansa I, AGOT

This one is also an extremely obvious no, though it is still interesting. Despite being old, he seems like a knight from the songs and we see the Kingsguard cloak for the first time in a Sansa POV.

Sandor

1. “She stepped backward and bumped into someone. Strong hands grasped her by the shoulders, and for a moment Sansa thought it was her father, but when she turned, it was the burned face of Sandor Clegane looking down at her, his mouth twisted in a terrible mockery of a smile.” Sansa I, AGOT

This is after she first sees Ser Ilyn Payne, whom she finds terrifying. Her initial response to Sandor’s touch is positive and this won’t be the last time she backs into him when she’s afraid.

2. “Sandor Clegane scooped her up around the waist and lifted her off the featherbed as she struggled feebly. Her blanket fell to the floor. Underneath she only had a thin bed gown to cover her nakedness. ‘Do as you’re bid, child,’ Clegane said. ‘Dress.’ He pushed her toward her wardrobe, almost gently.” Sansa VI, AGOT

This is the first BGS occurrence since her conversation with Ned. She’s depressed and suicidal and hasn’t bathed in who-knows-how-long after his death. Joffrey has demanded she get dressed and bathe or else “his Hound” will do it for her. She still asks that Joff leave her alone and doesn’t move, at which point he orders Sandor to get her out of bed.

3. “‘Here, girl.’ Sandor Clegane knelt before her, between her and Joffrey. With a delicacy surprising in such a big man, he dabbed at the blood welling from her broken lip.” Sansa VI, AGOT

Not only is he being gentle with her here, he also just prevented her from committing a murder/suicide.

4. “‘True knights,’ he mocked. ‘And I’m no lord, no more than I’m a knight. Do I need to beat that into you?’ Clegane reeled and almost fell. ‘Gods,’ he swore, ‘too much wine. Do you like wine, little bird? True wine? A flagon of sour red, dark as blood, all a man needs. Or a woman.’ He laughed, shook his head. ‘Drunk as a dog, damn me. You come now. Back to your cage, little bird. I’ll take you there. Keep you safe for the king.’ The Hound gave her a push, oddly gentle, and followed her down the steps. By the time they reached the bottom, he had lapsed into a brooding silence, as if he had forgotten she was there.” Sansa II, ACOK

The serpentine encounter is the perfect example of the walking, talking dichotomy that is Sandor Clegane. “Iron fingers” catch her wrist and prevent her from falling down the steps and he makes a joke about how she’s trying to kill them both (something to consider for the future, Sandor: you’re the one lurching out of hidden doorways in the middle of the night, so maybe that’s part of the problem). She says he’s hurting her but he doesn’t let go of her wrist. Then he makes some inappropriate comments about her body and asks her to sing him a song about knights and fair maidens (because he’s a closet sappy romantic like that) because she likes knights. She says she likes true knights and then we come in at the quote. So we go from scary drunk who’s holding her wrist too tight and coming on to her sexually (the only time he ever does) to immediately realizing he’s way out of line, going back to gentle touches and promises to keep her safe. He also lies to protect her from Boros Blount on the very next page. I think it’s fairly safe to say his brooding is primarily about two things: kicking himself over how he just acted, and the “keep you safe for the king” part (he knows Joff well enough to realize that the king is the biggest threat to her safety). In a Daenerys ACOK chapter, she says of Jorah, “Sometimes he thinks of me as a child he must protect, and sometimes as a woman he would like to bed….” I reread that chapter the other day and couldn’t help but think of SanSan and this scene in particular.

5. “The Hound pulled her to her feet, not ungently.” Sansa III, ACOK

This is at the beginning of the scene where she’s beaten and stripped by Boros Blount. While he’s gentle with her in that moment and does tell Joffrey to stop later, his inaction on this occasion is the biggest regret of his life and he cries about it on his “deathbed.”

6. “A stab went through her, so sharp that Sansa sobbed and clutched at her belly. She might have fallen, but a shadow moved suddenly, and strong fingers grabbed her arm and steadied her.” Sansa IV, ACOK

Okay, so I’m kind of convinced that Sandor spends all of his free time stalking her (because he doesn’t know how to handle the fact that he has positive feelings for another human being?). He’s always lurking in shadows, only to pop out to save her from falling. How often does he hide in the shadows near her that we just never see?

7. “She made herself look at that face now, really look. It was only courteous, and a lady must never forget her courtesies. The scars were not the worst part, nor even the way his mouth twitches. It’s his eyes. She had never seen eyes so full of anger. ‘I… I should have come to you after,’ she said haltingly. ‘To thank you, for… for saving me… you were so brave.’” Sansa IV, ACOK

Ugh, I just have so many feels about this interaction. Between these two quotes, Sandor bb gets sad because she’s scared of him and “still can’t bear to look,” so he lashes out. “He is a dog, just as he says. A half-wild, mean-tempered dog that bites any hand that tries to pet him, and yet will savage any man who tries to hurt his master.” Yes, because he is an ABUSED dog and no one has every tried to pet him before so he’s getting very confused. I’m getting side-tracked by the feels so I’ll stop myself here.

8. “Of late Ser Osmund had taken Sandor Clegane’s place by Joffrey’s side, and Sansa had heard the women at the washing well saying that he was as strong as the Hound, only younger and faster. If that was so, she wondered why she had never once heard of these Kettleblacks before Ser Osmund was named to the Kingsguard.” Sansa VI, ACOK

I considered also including this under the Kettleblacks, but decided against it because she’s not the one saying they’re strong. Her attitude here feels similar to her attitude during the first unkiss mention (“these other girls/women are so silly—I have the Hound and what they have is inferior”).

9. “He yanked her closer, and for a moment she thought he meant to kiss her. He was too strong to fight. She closed her eyes, wanting it to be over, but nothing happened.” Sansa VII, ACOK

This one typically gets left out because it doesn’t exactly portray him in a positive light, but I’m trying to include everything, good and bad. I have some thoughts on this re: the unkiss, but this isn’t the place for that. Short version: it would have been very easy for GRRM to write something like “she wished he wouldn’t,” but instead he wrote “wanting it to be over.” I’m not saying she wanted him to kiss her in that moment, but she didn’t not want him to kiss her either (or it could be a “just get it over with” scenario).

Tyrion

1. “Sansa watched him walk off, his body swaying heavily from side to side, like something from a grotesquerie. He speaks more gently than Joffrey, she thought, but the queen spoke to me gently too. He’s still a Lannister, her brother and Joff’s uncle, and no friend. Once she had loved Prince Joffrey with all her heart, and admired and trusted his mother, the queen. They had repaid that love and trust with her father’s head. Sansa would never make that mistake again.” Sansa I, ACOK

“More gently than Joffrey” is a pretty low bar. Overall, not a very glowing review of Tyrion: he’s not a monster, but he’s grotesque, can’t be trusted, and could turn into a monster later.

Osmund Kettleblack

1. “Sansa tried to run, but Cersei’s handmaiden caught her before she’d gone a yard. Ser Meryn Trant gave her a look that made her cringe, but Kettleblack touched her almost gently and said, “Do as you’re told, sweetling, it won’t be so bad. Wolves are supposed to be brave, aren’t they?” Sansa III, ASOS

If you didn’t have déjà vu while reading this, something is wrong because this is almost EXACTLY the same as a Sandor moment included on this list. (“‘Do as you’re bid, child,’ Clegane said. ‘Dress.’ He pushed her toward her wardrobe, almost gently.”) HOWEVER, I don’t think Sandor would have been so chill in this particular situation. This is as she’s being dragged off to marry Tyrion and seeing as finding out Sansa had married Tyrion made Sandor suicidal, well, that’s a thought for another day. Between this and Sandor #8, I feel like there’s potential for a SanSan meta solely comparing Sandor and the Kettleblacks. (Someone else please write that—I’m only even doing this because I have mild writer’s block on a fic and needed a break.)

Ser Dontos

1. “‘Not far.’ Ser Dontos took her hand in his own and rubbed it gently. “Your friend is near, waiting for you.’” Sansa V, ASOS

This is while she and Dontos are escaping after Joffrey’s murder. It’s mentioned that they take the serpentine steps at one point. See Sandor #4 for another important interaction there.

Petyr Baelish

1. “He saved Alayne, his daughter, a voice within her whispered. But she was Sansa too… and sometimes it seemed to her that the Lord Protector was two people as well. He was Petyr, her protector, warm and funny and gentle… but he was also Littlefinger, the lord she’d known at King’s Landing, smiling slyly and stroking his beard as he whispered in Queen Cersei’s ear. And Littlefinger was no friend of hers. When Joff had her beaten, the Imp defended her, not Littlefinger. When the mob sought to rape her, the Hound carried her to safety, not Littlefinger. When the Lannisters we’d her to Tyrion against her will, Ser Garlan the Gallant gave her comfort, not Littlefinger. Littlefinger never lifted so much as his little finger for her.” Sansa I, AFFC

Wow, so there’s a lot to unpack here but most of it isn’t relevant to this post. However, this is one of the many times she compares Sandor favorably to other men.

2. “‘Forgive her, my lords,’ Petyr Baelish said softly. ‘She still has nightmares of that day. Small wonder if she cannot bear to speak of it.’ He came up behind her and put his hands gently on her shoulders. ‘I know how hard this is for you, Alayne, but our friends must hear the truth.’ Her throat felt so dry and tight it almost hurt to speak.” Sansa I, AFFC

I see two SanSan parallels in this brief passage. Putting his hands on her shoulders from behind reminds me of her first interaction with Sandor and her throat hasn’t been “dry and tight” since the Blackwater. All of the language in the Blackwater scene is highly sexual, but here, those are the only words that stand out and I only noticed them because they’ve been used before.

Lothor Brune

1. “Sober, he was a quiet man, but a strong one. And Petyr says he’s loyal.” Alayne II, AFFC

The only thing I’ll say about Lothor is that Sansa also compares him to Sandor/he triggers memories about Sandor (ex: the incident with Marillion where she thinks it might be the Hound saving her for a moment before she realizes that’s impossible).

Here’s a chart for the visual learners

Conclusion: Sandor is the only man worthy of Sansa, as per her father’s parameters

While, just like Sansa, “I knew the Hound would win,” I didn’t expect the results to be this conclusive. He hits all three points while no one else scores above a two. SANDOR BB IS THE ONLY ONE WHO MEETS MORE THAN ONE CRITERIA. SHE NEVER DESCRIBES ANOTHER MAN AS BRAVE. NOT ONCE. ONLY HIM. She talks about brave men in general, but he is the only specific man she ever calls brave.* And it’s not internal monologue like all of the other instances I’ve outlined—she’s saying it aloud, thanking him to his face. And it’s also worth noting that several of the occasions she describes another man as gentle or strong are callbacks to interactions with Sandor. Knowing GRRM, there’s no way that’s an accident. So SanSan is endgame or GRRM is the world’s biggest troll. Either way, my heart hurts.

*While bravery only shows up once in this analysis, Sansa does frequently describe women (herself included) as being brave and also reminds herself to be brave a lot (that whole weird thing where GRRM writes female characters like actual people instead of accessories to the men in their lives).

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jocy-diaries · 3 years ago

Text

02.08.2022

I slept (´；ω；`) I swear most people don’t feel as guilty for sleeping as I do. At least it was agreed that our 9am would be pushed to 9:30 from now on. Small victories~ So I’ve got to make up for my homework today, and I can’t ignore movie night again. I’m going to undo that ban on coffee and drink as much as I damn well please to keep functioning. And the sun was really weird today, I’m not used to it being so bright at this hour even though it always is? I guess I haven’t had 9am sunshine in a while. And I feel like I’ve been saying this everyday, but shrinkage at the 6 months mark is not something I was expecting.

Ohmygod that is so funny. I’ve been low key worried about wether or not my contract would be renewed right? And you know the meme with the whole ‘I’ve never done this before!’ Sobbing kid and the lady responding ‘it’s alright I’m not a cop’ and suddenly they’re very confident??? I just had that moment.

I’M NOT EVEN SURE IF MY CONTRACT WILL BE RENEWED ヽ(●ﾟ´Д｀ﾟ●)ﾉﾟ

Well I need you to focus on this while I’m on leave (her leave is after my contract ends)

Me:

I think I’m gonna awsk fow mowe mowney >:3c One thing tho, is that I legit cannot tell who likes me at work, who doesn’t like me, and who thinks I’m incompetent. I have NO idea and my understanding of it switches constantly. So maybe I’m reading too much into it and my contract isn’t getting renewed after all lol

When your mutual start following your side blogs it’s like “What are ya doin in ma swamp??” Okay I got tired of making cup after cup of coffee so I used Sad’s big coffee pot to make a bunch. We need more vanilla creamer… Also, I told Dad about what was going on at work and the new job offer. I’m glad he’s proud. And I don’t want to say it’s a hollow victory, because it’s not. If things work out I definitely want to get a townhouse by my library. No matter what. It’s amazing how talking with my therapist shifted my whole perception of stuff lol Thank goodness for therapy.

Ohmygod. We just went from like, 0.6 to 95 on this project at work. This is amazing. It happened so quickly and effortlessly I thought I misheard it at first lol. All we needed was this team’s buy in and we got it! After so long of going at a snail’s pace. We now get to legit get on with things. Fantastic.

This is so funny, I’m SO curious to where this leads. I got a wrong number who was looking for an immigration officer, and since I’m a librarian in training I gave her some resources that she could use to reach the correct party. Then we started chatting, she asked about my schooling and spoke about her brother and his schooling, and half of me is like “Ma’am, you can’t share personal information to strangers” while the other half of me is like “Ma’am, are you trying to set me up with your brother for immigration purposes??” At this point I am just curious and this kitty might get killed BUT she Will be satisfied. Oh she has a small business importing goods and she’s into crypto. Interesting. Well, curious to see if we text later but that was neat!

I just had to read the most boring cataloging article of my life and now I have to write about it but I retained nothing so I might have to reread it…. Pain. Also, I want to make a rice and egg dish. It’s my sisters birthday this Friday so hopefully I can make it over the weekend. Gotta make sure I finish all of my homework so I can plan the weekend with her!!! COME ON!!!! (╬◣д◢)!!

Also, I’m thinking of changing my Sorcerer-Artificer into a Sorcerer-Rogue. It might fit better into his talents? He’s still a tinkerer extraordinaire who got struck by wild lightning as a kid, but now he also steals stuff on the side which is SO fitting to his character. And his twin brother is the family favorite Artificer~ I can’t believe Trinn is a legit character now, that is so funny to me.

Aaah pain. I asked an artist for a commission because I knew I didn’t want to use a character that wasn’t mine for an RP but they declined which is FINE but now I don’t know what to do? Like, getting a commission was my way out of this but now that’s not gonna work? I felt like I had changed the character enough to make it my own since I had searched for something that closely enough resembled my vision, but I guess it doesn’t work like that. Aaaargh I feel so stuck. I legit DONT want to keep using a rando’s character but like. What *can* I use at this point?? Pain. Guess I better get very good at drawing very soon… And I can’t just be like ‘What would you recommend I do?’ Because then I’m a dumbass. And it’s not like I can approach this artist with any other commissions now. Even if I do revamp my character to make her all mine. Uuuurgh.

Okay. Had a small breakdown. Now I’m better. Will finish week 3 assignment, maybe read week 2 then go to bed. I’m behind. I know. Maybe I’ll take a nap after work so I feel refreshed for class and homework. Ugh. Tough day. I’m taking my medicine. Some good things tho. Some not so good. As days go. Okay. Bye.

#dear diary #february 2022 #02.08.2022

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