#well not explicitly per say but that's what it always is lol

[abyssalzones]

to this day i think the best part of journal 3 was definitely just these two going hiking in the pacific northwest, both ill-equipped in different ways but clearly having a lot of fun.

[vivalas-vega]

late / jake 'hangman' seresin x reader

hiii - feels like a long time since I've actually posted anything. this fic idea came to me kind of randomly - I've been seeing a lot of fics lately centered around making/having babies and I thought it'd be nice to write something angsty and fluffy catered to those of us who are childless and want to remain that way lol - as always, lmk what you think!

late / jake 'hangman' seresin x reader

word count: 3.5k

I do not have a taglist - if you'd like to be notified of future works please follow @vegaslibrary and turn on post notifications

warnings: mentions of periods, hints at termination (not said explicitly but it's there), talk of kids/pregnancy, angst and fluff !!

You shut the dishwasher before continuing to move about the kitchen as you cleaned up from dinner, one you would say was one of your best if you were going to toot your own horn, and your sights were set on the freezer for a little ice cream to go along with your movie before bed. You thought you should hold out, you’d left an invite open to your boyfriend to come here after his plans, but you decided against it. Ben and Jerry’s waits for no one.

You set it out to soften for a minute, pulling your planner from your bag to skim through your plans for the next day to make sure all your ducks were in a row and you were about to close it when you fixated on the date. “There’s no way,” you muttered to yourself, genuinely baffled by how far into the month you were. Your brow furrowed as you tried to comb through your memory but things had been so busy lately you were falling short so you switched to your phone and tapped on the pink app icon, eyes widening as you realized your first thought was true.

“No, no, no,” you sighed, walking to the bathroom with a quicker pace than normal and dropping down to look beneath your sink. “Don’t be expired,” you pleaded. To whom you were pleading you had no idea, but you breathed out a sigh of relief when the tiny text on the box confirmed you still had a while to use them. 

You checked the app again, scrolling back through the month and confirming what you’d hoped you’d misinterpreted the first time… but you hadn’t, you were in fact late. Ten days late. You had always considered yourself quite lucky, your period ran like a well oiled machine and your cycle was always twenty-nine days on the dot. Every so often you’d fluctuate, but only by a day, and for that you were grateful. You were always prepared, and you always knew if you ever fluctuated by more than a day it was cause for concern…

Ten days was more than cause for concern in your book, frankly as you stared at the test you thought you didn’t even really need to take it. You only kept them on hand because you were known for missing a pill here and there and you’d rather have to run to your bathroom in a panic than to your closest mini-mart, but you’d never truly had a scare before. You always assumed they’d expire before you got to use them. Oh, how wrong you were. 

Pregnancy was never on the docket for you. You knew from a young age you had no interest and frankly it scared you more than anything. You knew it was reckless not to switch to a more effective birth control, one that was foolproof and long-lasting but the pill you’d been on since high school hadn’t failed you yet so you’d put it off despite the fact that it had been on your to-do list. Right about now you were wishing you’d just booked the appointment and gotten it over with. 

You did the only thing you really knew to do at this moment and fired off a text to Natasha, your best friend for almost two decades. All it read was three simple numbers: 911. 

You heaved a sigh as you ran your fingers through your hair and chastised yourself for being so flippant. You knew you didn’t want this, and you knew the pill wasn’t perfect, especially not when you missed at least one per pack. Really, you’d just gotten lucky your whole adult life, and the fact that this hadn’t happened sooner was beginning to feel like a miracle as you really let the situation wash over you. You were broken from your thoughts by the sound of your phone vibrating harshly against the tile and you answered it before it even got through its first ring.

“What’s going on?” Natasha asked in lieu of a hello. This was one of the many reasons you loved her and why she was still your best friend after all this time. Unless she was in the air or on the other side of the world, a 911 text was responded to in the form of a call in five minutes or less. You also decided to forgo a greeting and simply held up the box and her eyes widened, “no, are you serious?” 

“Unfortunately,” you sighed and she considered her next question carefully.

“Have you taken one yet?” You shook your head. “Okay, so it’s just a suspicion, maybe there’s not even anything to worry about.” 

“Ten days, Nat,” you replied.

“Oh shit,” was all she said for a moment. “Hey, you’ve been eerily regular your entire life, maybe your uterus taking a hard earned break,” she tried and you chuckled at the attempt to lighten the situation with humor. 

“Or maybe it’s growing a person,” you said and she rolled her eyes.

“You haven’t even taken it, you can’t get all doom and gloom yet. Have you talked to Jake?” 

“Should I?” you shot back and she just gave you a deadpan look through the screen.

“Should you talk to your boyfriend, the one who may or may not have impregnated you, about the fact that he may or may not have impregnated you?” she asked rhetorically. 

“I just… it’s not like it’s going to go anywhere if it’s positive,” you sighed. “We haven’t talked about it, Nat. He doesn’t know how I feel and I have a feeling it’s going to ruin everything.” 

“How could you know that if you haven’t talked about it?” she replied with that face that told you she knew she was right, because she always was, not that you’d tell her that. “If this was some random hookup I’d say absolutely don’t talk to them about it, but this is Jake… you guys are getting serious and I think you’ll feel better if you do.” 

“That’s the thing, we’re getting serious. This is still so new, what if I lose him as soon as I tell him ‘yeah if you stay with me you’ll never have a family’?” 

“First of all, I feel like I shouldn’t have to say this but definitely don’t say it like that. Second of all, if you lose him because your goals for the future don’t align then he was never really yours to begin with. It just means your person is still out there and so is his.” 

“I know that was meant to be comforting but the thought of him having a person out there that isn’t me is making me nauseous.” 

“Sure it’s not morning sickness?” she teased and you scowled at your phone screen. 

“I’m serious, Nat… I know it’s early and we’re just starting to settle into a groove but I feel like he’s it, you know?”

“No, I really don’t know how my beautiful and smart best friend winds up being it for Hangman, but you know I love and support you and all your choices… including whatever you decide to do if the test is positive. At the end of the day the final say is yours, but I think you should at least include him in the conversation.” 

“I know, I just… shit,” you were cut off by the sound of your front door and Jake’s voice letting you know it was him. “I completely forgot he was coming over.”

“Talk to him, even if it doesn’t go well it’s better to know now, it’ll only hurt worse later… and for what it’s worth, I don’t think it’ll be whatever worst case scenario you’ve concocted,” she said before you hung up and Jake was just walking into to bedroom as you exited the bathroom.

“Hey, there you are sweetheart,” he said with that famous smirk of his that was now only reserved for you. He leaned in to press a kiss to your lips that you easily reciprocated, “you on the phone?” 

“I was, with Nat,” you answered and he chuckled.

“Swear you two can’t go four hours without checking in. I have no idea how you make it through deployments.” He’d tease but he loved how close you were, if you weren’t he’d never have met you. You would have never been dragged into the Hard Deck and he’d never have the opportunity to spend two long months trying to win you over. She’d swear until her dying breath it had been the opposite of her intentions, but Jake would always consider himself indebted to Natasha for bringing you into his life.

“Yeah well, she had to tell me all about your epic failure at the pool table,” you said and he laughed. It absolutely had not been the topic of your call, but you were glad she had been texting you about your boyfriend’s terrible game against Bradley as it was happening so you had something to say while you worked up the nerve to tell him what you were really talking about. 

“Okay, it was not an epic failure,” he said as he pulled his spare clothes from your dresser and began working on the buttons of his khakis, “but if it was, it was only because I didn’t have my good luck charm.” 

“She said you’d use some cop out like that,” you replied and he playfully rolled his eyes. He quickly pulled on his sweats and became acutely aware of how you hadn’t moved an inch since he arrived, and the way you were picking at a hangnail on your thumb. Normally, you’d have already jumped into bed and launched into a rundown of everything that happened during the day but you were silent, unmoving, and about to hit bone on your thumb. 

“Everything okay?” he asked as he shrugged his shirt on and you nodded, suddenly realizing how off you were being as well. 

“Just a long day at work,” you answered, moving to sit on the edge of the bed and you should have known he’d see right through you. He always did, even before you were officially together. Jake had learned you and all your cues in record time and nothing got under his skin more than when you tried to pretend he hadn’t… like you were right now. 

“Wanna try that again?” He sat beside you and put a reassuring hand on your thigh, and the simple action had you letting out a sigh. 

“I’m late,” you said and Jake just nodded. Most men would have asked late for what? but as you’d learned over the past several months, Jake wasn’t most men and he didn’t need to prod to realize what you meant, especially when you were this visibly anxious.

“Okay, have you taken a test yet? Do we need to go get one?” He kept his tone even and measured, not wanting to add any more stress onto your plate.

You shook your head, “there’s one in the bathroom,” you answered. He hated the way you were avoiding his eyes and the way you hadn’t stopped picking at your hands.

“Let’s take the test so we know exactly what we’re dealing with, and then regardless of the result we’ll sit right here and talk it all out… how does that sound?” he asked and you smiled softly but it didn’t reach your eyes. He was always proactive, any time something came up he immediately sought out a solution and you weren’t at all surprised this was his response.

“I think that sounds good,” you said as you stood, “I’ll be right back.”

“I’ll be right here,” he replied and you knew from the look in his eyes he meant that in more ways than one. Seeing you stressed or overwhelmed wasn’t new for him, but this was something else entirely… normally you’d be frazzled over something work related and you’d vent to him and snap back to normal but you were completely withdrawn. He knew you were scared, frankly he was a little scared too, but he was suddenly worried he hadn’t made his feelings clear enough. There really wasn’t anything you could do at this point to send him running, and especially not this; he desperately wanted to know what was nagging at you so he could reassure it away.

You returned from the bathroom and took up your previous spot beside him, stick in hand, “two minutes.” you said softly and he leaned over to press a kiss to your temple.

“Hey, whatever it is we’ll figure it out. Everything will be okay,” he said and you nodded but he could tell his words just rolled right off you, not sticking in the slightest. He thought it’d be best to stay silent while you waited, he’d be able to get to the root of it once you both knew exactly what was going on.

The timer on your phone startled you and you silenced it as you took a deep breath. Jake slid his hand through your free one and intertwined your fingers, squeezing reassuringly as you flipped the test over. Negative. You exhaled in relief and dropped your head against his shoulder and he quickly lifted his arm to pull you into his chest. Emotion tugged at you despite how you tried to keep it at arm's length, and eventually you succumbed to the tears trying to break free.

“It’s okay, everything’s okay,” Jake whispered, kissing the top of your head and drawing soothing patterns along your back. He continued to talk, low reassurances that weren’t quite registering but the tenor of his voice eventually calmed you down and when the emotions finally ran their course he hooked a finger under your chin and tilted your head up to look at him. “Talk to me, what had you so worried?” he asked gently, wiping away the tears on your cheeks.

You considered your options: you could say you were just terrified by an unplanned pregnancy and push past it, or you could do what you knew you needed to and be honest despite the fact you were somehow convinced it’d bring the end of your relationship. “I don’t want kids,” you blurted out and he was nearly as surprised by the sudden confession as you were.

“I- I never have, I… never envisioned that life for myself and I’ve never felt that thing people feel that makes them want kids. I know I’m like… broken or something, I know it literally goes against my biological nature to not want kids, I just don’t and I know that can be a deal breaker so I understand if you don’t want to stay-"

“I’m gonna stop you right there,” he interrupted, his tone still gentle but not as soft as it had been earlier. “You are not broken. It’s perfectly normal to not want kids and you don’t need to justify that, to me or anyone else. This isn’t a deal breaker, sweetheart, I’m pretty convinced nothing is at this point,” he said and this reassured you slightly, loosened the knot in your stomach slightly.

“You don’t want kids?” you asked, your voice still timid and small. You didn’t want to ask but you needed to know, this was your one shot to get everything out in the open and make sure you were on the same page.

He thought carefully for a moment before answering. “I honestly haven’t given it a lot of thought. My life is so up in the air, literally and figuratively, I don’t think I’ve ever been able to picture slowing down enough to factor kids in. That’s not to say I’ve never wanted them, but I’ve never been attached to the idea.”

“Is it disappointing to know that if you stay with me you’ll never have that option? I don’t want you to have regrets or end up resenting me because I never gave you a family.” Jake’s heart cracked at the look on your face and the emotion thinly veiled in your eyes. In the back of his mind he knew this was coming from somewhere specific… At some point someone had made you feel like you were broken, had either said or made you feel like a life with you wouldn’t be enough without kids and he hated that. He hated that right now it seemed like you were just waiting for him to echo the sentiment and leave you stranded. 

“Sweetheart, if that test had been positive and you wanted to keep it I’d be thrilled to start a family with you, just as thrilled as I am to build a life just the two of us. I don’t love you because of your ability to provide me with a hypothetical family… I love you because you’re you, that’s always going to be enough for me.” Your breathing hitched as you processed his words, you literally felt the weight lift off your chest at the reassurance he really wasn’t going anywhere and it gave your heart the room to thud wildly against your rib cage.

“You love me?” you asked, a small smile tugging at the corners of your lips and his eyes widened. In the heat of the moment he hadn’t realized what he’d confessed and he felt himself flush.

“Yeah, I- I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to say it just now, or so soon- I do love you but this night has been emotionally overwhelming enough, please don’t feel like you have-“ he was rambling, and you were having a hard time keeping your enjoyment in check. 

Jake was a confident and assured man, it’s part of what drew you to him at first, but now he was a stumbling mess with crimson cheeks because he’d just confessed he loved you and you were sure he’d never been more attractive to you. Not when he sidled up beside you and bought every drink you ordered every time you were in the Hard Deck with that cocky smirk and those sparkling eyes, not when he boldly flirted with you every time he saw you despite Natasha threatening to have him shot out of the sky, and not when he threw an arm around your shoulder and called you his girlfriend with no real confirmation, he just knew you were his and he was yours. None of those moments of the smooth and charismatic Jake you knew compared to this sweet and bashful one in front of you.

You cut him off by pressing your lips to his in a searing kiss, knowing he wouldn’t stop unless you did it for him. He responded instantly and you couldn’t help but giggle as you pulled back. “I love you, too.” you said and in the blink of an eye he regained his confidence, pulling you back into him and kissing you like a man starved. 

“You just made me the happiest man on earth, darlin’,” he said, pecking your lips once more. “A life with you is everything I ever dreamed of. We don’t have to talk about this ever again unless you want to… I just need you to know that I’ll remain the happiest man on earth so long as I’ve got you, no hypothetical children could ever make me regret or resent you.” 

You felt the need to be closer to him and crawled into his lap to wrap around him like a koala, squeezing so tight he let out a strained laugh. “I love you,” you said again as he held you close.

“I love you too, sweetheart… Now what do you say we get some snacks and ice cream and decompress with a movie night?” he asked and your eyes widened as you pulled back, suddenly remembering what you’d left on the counter. 

“My ice cream!” you yelled, disentangling yourself from him and sprinting down the hallway to assess the damage and he trailed behind you chuckling the whole way… he watched you frown as you looked at what had turned into soup and you pulled out your phone, mumbling something about getting it delivered because there was no way you’d go without a sweet treat tonight. He was paying attention, because of course he was, but as he stood leaning against the doorframe looking at you with a lovesick expression on his face he was thinking about the future. 

He saw nights at the bar, you heckling his friends better than he ever could and getting away with it in a way he never did. He saw travel at every opportunity and nights-in just like you were about to have. He saw romantic dinners and fights and nights of endless passion — and maybe he saw a dog down the line. He saw himself putting a big rock on your finger and buying you a house with a porch swing out back because he knew that’s all you really wanted, and it’s there on that swing you’d watch the sun rise and set over the ocean and truly start to grow old together. He saw it all, the good and the bad, in a split second while watching you lean over the kitchen counter, eyes glued to your phone as you scrolled through your options, and he couldn’t help but beam. ‘As if I could ever regret a life with you,’ he thought.

[bigahhhhhhhh]

A quick analysis that I thought about on Akusuya based on Leo and Suya's chapters...

It's something that I forgot to mention is that, whenever it is a Leo chapter, Leo has the worst impressions of himself, and says he has done something wrong, even though either he regrets them and tries to improve and or has quite the good reasons for that; while Suya is literally just behaving the same way he just inquired wrong without any reason and or trying to stop herself whatsoever. Like in chapter 111 and 112 where he thought of himself as a stalker (even though he did that for justifiable reasons considering he has to keep her in check lol), while it was revealed in chapter 71 and more explicitly in chapter 143 that Suya's stalks him all the time just because she likes his smell and his room's smell; and or in this chapter when she gives him the wrong idea of what she actually wanted to do... I think that's a neat detail, and actually might be quite the hint that maybe, just maybe Leo internalized hate might be just a way he views himself that is completely different from the way Suya views himself... Notice that whenever somebody makes a mistake Suya is able to point it out, and is quite snarky; while when Leo does it she quickly tries to help him out and or justifies it, such like in the chapter where he interrogates Zastur, chapter 209, and, 153, 350 and 351 and others… 

One example of those behaviors are chapter 99 and 350-51.

(Notice how Leo is afraid of creatina a misunderstanding between the two of them, and right after Suya is the one that does that; and in chapter 351 he is afraid of touching her body or violating her autonomy or thinks that she is having the worst time of her life while she is playing in his tail and literally dresses in his body, once again DOING EXACTLY what he was afraid of doing).

Also, she is always saying how nice he is with her and many other things and in many instances seems to be extremely jealous of him too lol, also not caring much about personal boundaries, etc.

Chapter 112 and 281

In my opinion she has probably somewhat already realized she likes Leo very early on in the series... More specifically before chapter 71, like maybe around 48 - 55 around that time, maybe even before considering we have no idea when exactly she started going to his room, like if it's around chapters 48-55 to 143 than MAYBE she has been stalking him for more than a year or even like maybe 2 years; 

71 and 143, and 42. Considering Suya know exactly the MOMENT to catch Leonard's clothes, and she can actually mimick some of his behaviors really well as shown in 26? It might be fair to think she is been stalking him for a very long while now...

But notice how her behaviors in chapter 70, 71, and in another one where they actually have a pajama party, are very, and I mean very odd for her… (I can't find this chapter, but there is a chapter where Bussy?? And Harpy are in a pajama party with Suya and she is acting truly weird whenever they mention the Cleric incident, though notice that she never corrects herself when mentioning sleeping with somebody again, or ever stops coming to his room; if somebody knows what chapter it is to back up my evidence I would be glad lol).

Like, as if idk, she was really bothered by the thought that others might think she likes the Cleric? Who knows??

Also, considering Tumblr only accepts 10 photos per post, I will just say the chapters to notice things about and then you guys reread and pay attention to Suya's behaviors, and patterns and there is a lot going on in the background... Leo's narration is an UNRELIABLE ONE so it's not a good idea to go listening to him considering that every time he is proven to be wrong about Suya's feelings towards him...

Considering chapters like 310, 337, and many more and also chapter 71 as my one and most powerful proof of this Shipp to be canon in the end, I supposed that maybe Suya feels the same way towards Leo, whoever her being... You know, Suya... She doesn't quite know how to express it, I honestly think that Leo's feelings aren't exactly unrequited, just... You know... He is more going through somewhat of a 5 stages of grief regarding his love life, he is now, at this very moment going through the stages of denial to acceptance considering he is starting to have the courage to ask her out, etc... So yeah... Probably..?? But idk…

Besides if you guys notice it too in chapters such as 234, you might notice another interesting detail, Suya realizes that Kamosh is not Leo the moment he is around... Only stopping the act at the end, at least that's the impression I got, considering she is able to notice who he is quite quickly in per example the chapter where she is selling stuff lol; and in that chapter 234 Kamosh is very critical of Suya, saying she isn't quite the girl for Leo because she doesn't like him, and most likely sees him just as a friend or something of sorts... HOWEVER as soon as she says that he can't touch her hair because he isn't Leo, he suddenly changes his mind, and remember that besides not liking the idea of Leo liking Suya because she apparently doesn't seem to understand how he feels he also doesn't like the idea of him dating a human too.

Whoever that quickly changes once he views them together... Another thing is that Hypnos might be aware that Suya likes Leo too, considering chapter 221, Suya looks extremely happy in giving him a massage while also happy that he is giving her one, Hypnos told her that if she wanted one she needed to be quiet, and even though it wasn't quite the long massage she really appreciated it; AND in chapter 337 Midnight suddenly appears in the sky and helps Kamosh and Suya so, maybe he also knows what's up??... Anyways... I love to overanalyze stuff.

 

See chapter 234, 221 and 337 (for better understanding and notice Suya's and also the others reactions.

So logic comes this way: both Suya and Leo like each other but are afraid of rejection, Suya according to the chapters is mostly rejected no matter what she does, only in the end after she pushes his boundaries she is actually able to get closer to him, while whenever LEO is the one to invite her over or when something is for him she stops absolutely everything she is doing EVEN SLEEPING just for him, notice that pattern such like in chapters 79, 337, 55, 48, 289, and many, many more.

And some characters like Midnight, Hypnos and Kamosh already realized that, but aren't going to interfere much, mostly Kamosh and Hypnos will but only when they feel like it or if they notice that Leo needs their help somewhat.

Also, also another thing important to infer; Leo is the one that is mostly on his own mind, and is more aloof to the whole thing while Syalis is the one pursuing him; the chapters are mostly from Leo's perspective whoever if we analyze them correctly they come CLOSER to Syalis behaviors and thought process... So according to what we can infer from the manga…

So yeah, that's my case. Suya likes him back but is afraid of going after him because she probably thinks he is going to turn her down no matter what she does... Which kind of is true considering Leo's behavior of wanting everything under control and also in need of explanations for things that don't actually need one lol; which honestly also if that's the case, Suya isn't as wrong to think that way considering what happened at chapter 310, which was basically her wanting to go on a date with him, only for him to misinterpret her actions as herself wanting something in the human world dragging him alone and giving him more work lol (which honestly also understandable because she is INDEED a walking mass of destruction see chapter 130 for reference, he must’ve remembered that to be more specific.); at least that's how I see, if that's where it keeps on going, maybe the ending will be them together after all…

[deaf-solitude]

Bloodsucker Pt. 2 (Vampire!Frenchie x GN!Reader)

Takes place post-season 1, pre-season 2 once again!

Pairing: Vampire!Frenchie x GN!Reader

Word Count: 3.8k

Warnings: Blood, death, detailed violence, vampire feeding, fluff???, they’re goofy your honour

((Oh my god I’m SO sorry for how long I’ve been gone, writer's block hit me like a mf but I’M FINALLY BACK!! Back with pt 2 of the vampire!Frenchie fic B). I took some liberties on the mechanics/weaknesses of vampires in this part (i.e. they can go out in the sun (but are prone to sunburns), how they act when they haven’t been able to feed in a while, etc), which I hope doesn’t screw up anything too much. If anyone would like an explanation of how vampires work in this AU, lmk and I’ll make a more detailed post about it. Also this came out a lot more platonic than i intended I’m so sorry lol. ALSO ALSO i probably wont write a part 3 unless it’s explicitly asked for, and if you guys do want a pt 3, let me know what you’d like to see in it and maybe i'll get around to it :D anyway, enjoy!))

To say you were now incredibly worried was an understatement.

Over the few days since the whole vampire accusation, things had only looked worse and worse for Frenchie. The opportunities to feed on bodies after raids were practically nonexistent because of the newly implemented rules and the crew had gotten annoyingly creative in their attempts to “ward off” the suspected vampire among them. You were afraid you were never going to be able to get the smell of garlic out of your nose after this all blew over since they had been hanging up bulbs and cloves everywhere you could imagine; you had even found a bulb stashed away in the storage closet you usually napped in, which you were quick to throw out of the nearest porthole.

Despite the crew’s valiant efforts, Frenchie had informed you that garlic didn’t actually repel vampires, but it did cause what you chalked up to be a minor allergic reaction in them. This was good news since Jim had forced every person on the ship to eat a raw clove shortly after the initial incident. You were never fond of garlic, so the experience was less than pleasant, but having to deal with a bleary-eyed and runny-nosed Frenchie afterward might’ve been worse.

But what really had you worried was the raids. Blackbeard’s strict schedule of at least one raid per day didn’t let up in the slightest with the discovery of a vampire on board, and as time went on, you noticed Frenchie acting… weirder than normal.

The exhaustion came first, which was one of the symptoms you expected from him not being able to feed. It started with him getting more tired than usual as the day went on, and then taking longer to wake up in the mornings. Next thing you knew, he started joining you on your cat naps in the closet, where you’d have to practically drag him out while he was still half asleep to avoid getting caught. Now, even in the middle of the day, he fought to keep his eyes open, and you had often caught him falling asleep standing up while leaning against a post.

Then there was the weakness. You had never been a particularly strong person before being forced into Blackbeard’s crew, but you knew Frenchie was at least a bit stronger than you due to his height. He had always been able to handle larger crates of treasure easily with the help of Jim, but now he could hardly keep himself on two feet, let alone transport cargo. There were several times when you’d send Frenchie down with a crate, you’d hear a loud clunk shortly after, and when you rushed down to check on him, the crate would be tipped over on the floor with Frenchie standing out of breath next to it and complaining that his arms hurt. It was even easier to tackle and drag him around now since he had little strength to pull away.

This didn’t prove useful in raids, both for his well-being and your mental health.

You had practically adopted the role of his bodyguard, having to save his ass from combatants on multiple occasions. In one particular instance, the raid had started fine. Sure, Frenchie was a bit drowsy, but it was nothing too concerning to you at the time. A few minutes later you were desperately trying to yank an enraged man off of Frenchie, who was pinned underneath him and screaming for you to do something. Jim eventually stomped over and repeatedly stabbed the attacker in the back, causing him to crumple over right on top of Frenchie. After Jim quickly returned to their combat, you then spent another minute trying to haul the now dead man off of Frenchie, who could barely lift the body an inch off of his chest.

Today, you decided to keep a keener eye on your companion as you boarded a new ship. While Blackbeard did his usual drawn-out and dramatic entrance, you were already watching Frenchie out of the corner of your eye, who was standing beside you. Well, standing the best he could. He was swaying slightly in place, his eyes repeatedly fluttering shut and jolting open again once he realized they had closed. You bit your cheek and turned your attention back to Blackbeard. He was fucked.

It wasn’t long before Blackbeard finished his spiel and the crew leapt into action, eager to slaughter any adversary they could get their hands on. You took a breath to try and calm your nerves before lightly slapping Frenchie on the back in an attempt to wake him up a bit more, rushing forward to join your crewmates soon after. He jumped at the contact and swivelled his head to see who had hit him, when he very suddenly realized that they were, in fact, in the middle of raiding a ship. He cursed under his breath before sluggishly following after you, clumsily setting up his “claws” in his hands.

As blood started to spill, you saw Frenchie perk up, whirling around to stare at a man who had just recently been felled by Fang. What he failed to notice was another man coming up behind him, sword drawn and ready to strike. You were quick to cross the deck towards the two, slicing a gash into the man’s chest without hesitation before turning to Frenchie. He was about to lunge for the body when you caught the scruff of his jacket, yanking him back. “Are you fuckin’ mental?” You hissed, struggling to keep Frenchie in place.

“Wh-huh? No, no, I’m good,” he slurred, his eyes locked onto the body as his tongue darted out to wet his lips. You groaned, slapping his face lightly. That caught his attention and his head snapped back to look at you with a glare. You paid the nasty look no mind, pulling Frenchie slightly closer to you as your face darkened with annoyance.

“Behave,” you growled before letting go of his jacket to twirl around and deflect an oncoming sword with your own. Frenchie rolled his eyes, mumbling something about how he wasn’t a dog and that he could control himself, gracelessly lunging at another poor sailor soon after.

You had just knocked the sword out of your opponent's hand when you heard the tear of flesh and the choked scream that could only be accredited to Frenchie’s handy work. When you turned around to check on him, he was salivating above the bleeding man with wide, unfocused eyes. He almost got a bite in had you not immediately abandoned your own scuffle to drag him away from the dying man once again.

The raid turned into one big game of keep away between you and Frenchie, much to your dismay. You’d turn your back on him for a second to focus on not being killed, and when you looked back at him a moment later, he’d be hovering over another dead or dying body that you inevitably had to yank him back from, and the process would repeat. You were starting to worry that it looked far too suspicious to be normal, but not much was normal about the crew anyway with the way they ripped apart seamen and pirates alike.

Speaking of, the crew had torn this ship’s crew to shreds in record time, and soon everyone was standing in piles of blood, guts, and gore of their own making. Not a single soul was left alive aboard that ship.

You stopped your fretting over Frenchie for a second as you took in the sight of both the countless bodies that littered the bloodied deck, and the numb faces of your crewmates. Your heart sunk in your chest for a brief moment; the crew couldn’t keep doing this for much longer. The heavy footsteps of Blackbeard spurred you from your grief, instinctively yanking Frenchie back to your side after he had tried (and failed) to sneak over to another body.

Blackbeard’s cold gaze studied the crew, tilting his head slightly before speaking: “Alright, collect the plunder and let’s move on, lads.” His nonchalant voice cut through the melancholy mood of the crew like a hot knife, everyone flinching slightly before being quickly propelled into action. You huffed as you watched Blackbeard retreat to the confines of the Revenge, slowly turning to look at Frenchie with an agitated glare. He faltered under your gaze, taking on the expression and posture of a kicked puppy.

“You owe me big time,” you grumbled, poking an accusing finger into Frenchie’s chest. Before he could get a single apology or excuse in, you practically dragged Frenchie–who had started frequently stumbling as he walked–off of the raided ship and onto the Revenge. Despite your annoyance, you were quick to offer your support to him, letting him lean on you as the two of you trudged off that damned ship. He had protested, saying that you two had to haul treasure, but you knew he’d drop it anyway and kept walking.

It was hard to stay mad at Frenchie, it really was. The longer you walked in silence, the more guilty you felt about the whole situation.

You brought him down to his room and sat him on the bed, eying him warily as he flopped over onto the mattress and groggily blinked up at the ceiling. “So what exactly happens if you don’t drink blood for a long time?” You started, nervously wringing your hands out as you sat on the other end of the bed.

“Umm, I d-don’t know for sure,” he muttered, his head lolling from side to side as he struggled to keep himself awake, “I th-think I dry up and die or something.” You weren’t sure about the dying part, but you had noticed his cheeks becoming increasingly hollow over the past couple of days.

Again, you couldn’t help but feel like this was your fault. If you had just ignored that stupid gap in the wall, the crew never would have found out. You sighed, bouncing your knee nervously as you thought of what to do.

…Well, you did have an idea in mind, but you weren’t sure about going through with it.

Your mouth started moving on its own before you could really think the idea through: “What if I…” you paused, biting your lip with uncertainty. When Frenchie looked up at you with big eyes and that stupid pout, you knew you’d lost.

“What if I let you… feed on me?” You mumbled, your words hardly above a whisper, but Frenchie heard them loud and clear. He nearly jumped you, actually, taking hold of your shoulders and leaning forward with dizzying speed.

“Really? Like right now?” He exclaimed suddenly, sounding more energetic than he had in days. You grimaced, averting your gaze before sighing in defeat.

“I suppose. Can’t have my napping buddy shrivelling up on me now, can I?” You joked nervously, but it went right over Frenchie’s head as he grinned brightly.

“Oh my God, you’re the best!” He praised, engulfing you in a tight embrace. You wheezed, patting his back with a strained smile on your face.

“Yep. No problem,” you huffed, struggling to breathe, “just, uh, give me a sec to gather myself, yeah?” Frenchie nodded, willing to go along with anything to let him feed on you at this point. You sighed heavily, scooting backwards on the bed and leaning up against the wall, unbuttoning a few of your shirt’s top buttons to expose more of your shoulder.

“N-nothing too obvious, okay? Below the neck, preferably,” you stammered, watching warily as Frenchie practically foamed at the mouth. You straightened your back slightly, your fingers digging nervously into the tattered sheets of Frenchie’s bed as he slowly crawled on after you. It was… extremely creepy, with the way his eyes were blown wide and his lethargic movements mimicking that of a cat stalking its prey.

“Yeah, yep, ‘course,” he replied mindlessly, drawing closer and closer to you. He positioned himself dangerously close to the junction between your neck and shoulder, his warm breath fanning against your skin sending a shiver up your spine.

“How much do you think this is gonna hurt?” You questioned to give yourself a distraction, unable to stop yourself from shaking as Frenchie grabbed your shoulders to keep you still. You figured the answer was obvious, but maybe you were overestimating how painful it would be in your mind.

“A lot,” Frenchie stated bluntly before suddenly sinking his fangs into the flesh between your neck and shoulder.

You were not overestimating it.

If anything, you were severely underestimating how much it would hurt, and Frenchie’s blunt statement did nothing to describe the pain you felt.

You had to stop yourself from screaming, quickly slapping your hand over your mouth after a sharp inhale. It felt like two giant needles had just been stabbed into your shoulder, stinging like hell and almost making you queasy enough to pass out. Despite that, you clung to your consciousness, fighting to keep yourself quiet as Frenchie started to drink your blood properly. A cold creeping feeling crawled its way down your spine from your shoulder: it was excruciatingly painful and uncomfortable as you got colder and colder, but you held out for Frenchie’s sake.

Speaking of Frenchie, you couldn’t help but notice how incredibly… intimate this seemed on his part. Forget the location of the bite, Frenchie was making some questionable noises and hums as he continued to feed on you, pushing his body against yours and feverishly grasping at the other side of your neck. You could’ve sworn you saw his eyes roll back, but it was difficult to tell from this angle.

Before you could ponder that thought any longer, you started to get woozy, feeling unnaturally cold. “Frenchie,” you whined weakly, attempting to gently nudge him away. He didn’t budge, pressing himself against you further. You sighed, and with the little strength you had left, pushed against him with all your might. “Frenchie, get off!” You hissed, finally spurring him out of his daze as his fangs withdrew from your flesh. He stumbled backwards from the force, but managed to land on his feet as he was shoved off of the bed.

His breathing was heavy as he stared at you for a few seconds, his mouth parted slightly and his pupils still blown wide. It took a moment for him to process your sorry state before his skittish demeanor returned, gulping in what seemed like awe as he dragged his hands down the back of his neck to try and ground himself. He wasn’t really sure what to do now; usually his “meals” were already dead or dying. Not sure if he should move closer to you again, he could only quietly apologize: “S-sorry, sorry. God, that was…”

“Good?” You heaved, bracing yourself with your hands against your knees while your head was bowed in exhaustion. You stared up at Frenchie through bleary eyes, who had your blood smeared all over his face, looking very pleased with himself because of it.

“Oh, better than good. I haven’t had fresh blood in ages, and yours tasted heavenly.” Frenchie marveled, freezing after his unintentional hushed statement as he stared at you with wide eyes. You did unfortunately hear him, raising a brow at his mortified expression while your lips quirked into a small, teasing smile. His face flushed but he didn’t comment any further on the notion, looking away as his tongue darted out to nervously lick away some of the blood still left on his lips.

Before you could unpack all of that, a splitting migraine invaded your skull, causing your vision to go blurry as you made a strained sound of pain. You tried to hold yourself upright, but you could feel yourself quickly tipping forward from the sudden wave of dizziness that hit you.

Before you could fall far, Frenchie had swiftly caught you in his arms with a concerned cry of your name. “Oh Jesus fucking Christ, I haven’t killed you, have I?” You could faintly hear as you clung to your consciousness, trying your best to right yourself to no avail. You could feel yourself being gently picked up and moved slightly, and then placed back down on a soft surface.

“Fuck, fuck, I’ve killed them. What am I gonna tell the crew? Where am I gonna hide the body?” You could hear Frenchie fretting, the guilt finally kicking in for him. You groaned hearing his outlandish thoughts spoken aloud, weakly reaching your hand in his direction.

“I’m not dead, you fucker,” you croaked, trying to blink your heavy eyelids open.

You could hear Frenchie gasp, and a sound that vaguely sounded like something falling to the floor beside you. “I’m so sorry! I don’t know what came over me! I-I got carried away,” he apologized profusely, taking one of your hands in both of his own like you were on your deathbed. You snorted softly, a wobbly smile spreading across your face at the action.

“Relax. I don’t think you could kill me if you tried,” you teased in a weak voice, finally managing to get your eyes open to give him a look. You had expected him to be standing above you, but after a second of your eyes searching the room, you found that he had kneeled down on the floor next to the bed. You had to stop yourself from bursting into laughter at the sight.

Frenchie’s face scrunched up in confusion at your comment before a look of confusion and slight offence overtook it. “What the fuck’s that s’posed to mean? And why are you… giggling?” You managed to laugh weakly at his reaction as you turned your head away, bringing a small smile to Frenchie’s face in the process.

“N-nothing, it’s-” you cut yourself off with more hushed laughter as you looked at him again, bringing your free hand up to cover your mouth in an attempt to stifle your outburst.

“Is it because I’m kneeling? Because I’m worried that I killed my closest friend?” Frenchie taunted, though it was obvious that his words were all playful by the huge grin that spread across his face. You couldn’t stop laughing as he continued to speak, turning away from him to try and hide your face. You had no coherent answer for him, and that only encouraged Frenchie’s teasing.

“Wow. I just… this is unbelievable. I never thought you’d stoop so low, laughing at my… my concern for you,” he snarked, putting a hand on his chest in mock offence.

“Stop, stop! God, it hurts,” you exclaimed through strained giggles, clutching your stomach in pain with a wide grin on your face as your constant laughter started to give you a cramp.

Frenchie hadn’t taken your exclamation the right way initially, thinking that he actually did something to hurt you. His expression dropped almost immediately, trying to figure out what he had done as he started to withdraw his hand from yours. “O-oh, I-”

You were just as quick to snatch his hand back up when you noticed that he had started to pull away, nearly gasping as you did so. “N-no, no! You’re fine, Frenchie. It just hurts to laugh so much,” you explained hastily with a warm smile, easing his concerns.

It had been so long since you’d laughed that hard.

Frenchie’s face lit up with relief, and then quickly turned red with embarrassment. He smiled sheepishly, quite thankful that you had kept his hand in yours as he gave yours a soft squeeze. “Ah, right…”

A comfortable silence fell over the two of you as you laid on his bed, your eyes drifting down to where your hands interlocked. You had taken to idly running your thumb over Frenchie’s knuckles, a soothing gesture that you were focused on.

“B-but seriously; thank you. I, uhm… I needed that.” He mumbled, watching you run your thumbs over his knuckles with a soft expression.

“Yeah, clearly. I mean, fuck, do I even need to mention what just took place during the raid?” You ragged, playfully rolling your eyes as the lightheadedness slowly dissipated from your body. You sat up slowly with Frenchie’s help, hissing quietly as the puncture wounds on between your neck and shoulder were jostled.

Frenchie scoffed exasperatedly, slapping your arm lightly as a light blush spread across his face again. “Will you shut up? It wasn’t that bad.”

You gave Frenchie an unimpressed look, raising your eyebrows. You opened your mouth to rebuke him, but he was quick to shush you before a single sound could come from you.

“I don’t need you to recount it, thank you.”

You laughed again, hesitantly cupping one side of Frenchie’s face with your hand, who was still kneeling on the floor. “You're welcome,” you smiled, pressing a quick kiss to Frenchie’s forehead. He blinked in surprise, inhaling sharply at the soft gesture of affection. A conflicted expression crossed his face as he looked up at you with wide eyes.

”Why… why are you doing this for me, anyways?” He questioned quietly, pouting slightly. You pursed your lips, not exactly sure why you were going to such lengths for him in the first place; you had barely known him for more than a few months, and yet here you were, risking your life for him.

”…Because you’re my friend, and that’s what friends do,” you answered hesitantly, still not totally confident in your reasoning.

Frenchie seemed to catch onto this, looking amused as he raised a brow at you: “Yeah, because normal people are always letting their vampire friends feed on them.”

You groaned, dragging a hand down your face. “Shut up. I just care about you, okay? Is that illegal now? Am I going to be arrested?” You argued playfully, rolling your eyes.

Frenchie chuckled, still not quite content with your answer. “You care about a vampire? A monster?”

”I do. Shoot me,” you snapped sarcastically, choosing not to comment on his monster classification just yet. That seemed like a completely different problem to unpack, and you were too exhausted—both physically and mentally—to properly address it just yet.

Frenchie barked out another laugh, finally dragging himself off of the floor to sit next to you on the bed. “Okay, whatever you say, you weirdo,” he finally caved, dropping the subject for now. You snorted at his name calling, shaking your head with a smile.

Frenchie’s eyes drifted back to the puncture wounds at the base of your neck, wincing at how deep they were. They weren’t bleeding, but there was blood smeared around the area from how hurriedly he was feeding. Heat rose to his face again at the thought, but he quickly tried to distract himself from it by getting up to get a rag and some bandages.

”Let’s get you patched up, yeah?” He smiled bashfully at you, nervously wiping at his mouth again in case there was any blood left behind. You chuckled at the gesture, bringing your legs up onto the bed to sit criss crossed.

”That’d be appreciated, yes.”

[sungbeam]

𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐨𝐧𝐥𝐲 𝐰𝐞 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰 — act I, scene ii

nonidol!hwang intak x f!reader

when summit poster boy hwang intak's car breaks down in the school parking lot, it sets off a chain of events that leads to you, someone he was perhaps always meant to find. the only problem is that the two of you are far from the ideal couple, and your peers are apt to keep that status quo.

▷ genre, chapter warnings. s2f2l, grief and mentions of death and terminal illness, classism and discrimination, forbidden romance au, minimal swearing, angst, humor

▷ word count. 2.3k

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a/n: there's quite a bit of texting in this one so i apologize 😭

SUMMER (RISING JUNIORS).

INTAK wasn't one to give up easily. A couple weeks after school had been dismissed for the much-anticipated summer break, he was still in town while the rest of his friends were off traveling the world with their families. His dad had left the house early, as per usual, to head to the company building for work, so he enjoyed the serenity of an empty house as he took his time rolling out of bed and making himself breakfast.

As he sat on one of the breakfast bar stools in the kitchen with a bowl of cereal before him, he pulled out his brother's phone and opened up one of the text threads. The last thing he had texted Yn was about properly working out a stain—he'd received a very (albeit amusing) passionate lecture from her about drinking or consuming anything in the car, because if he spilled anything on the seats, she would risk her own identity to come and beat him up.

He'd had a very good laugh at that.

jae's phone: bored

Not even a minute later, he received a reply.

yer a wizard yn!: why r u still using his phone?

jae's phone: well do u want someone to find your contact on *my* phone, miss secrecy?

yer a wizard yn!: fair enough

jae's phone: hey how old r u

yer a wizard yn!: wow it never occurred to u that i could just be some old pervert?

jae's phone: r u??

yer a wizard yn!: lucky for u, no

jae's phone: lucky for me? 👀

jae's phone: before u virtually threaten to hit me again

jae's phone: r u my brother's age then? u must be

yer a wizard yn!: nope

jae's phone: my age then? idk if u know my age actually

yer a wizard yn!: am i 5 years old? no

jae's phone: i will , hit u

yer a wizard yn!: LMAO

In spite of his texts, Intak laughed down at the counter and set aside the phone for a second so he could spoon some more of the sweet cereal milk into his mouth. He and this Yn person had been trading texts these past couple of weeks. All of the conversations had been brief and harmless at most; it was all just his attempts at holding a conversation while Yn deflected anything that would expose who she was. Except for this conversation and their first one, he had no inkling of her identity.

yer a wizard yn!: okay, fine yes, i'm ur age i think

yer a wizard yn!: at least that's what jae said

Intak leaned into the conversation. Do u go to the academy too?

yer a wizard yn!: my friends say that's confidential

jae's phone: ur friends knew my brother too??

yer a wizard yn!: mhm

jae's phone: okay well,,, wait tf they're READING THESE??

He could hear her laughing at him now, even if he didn't know what her laugh sounded like. Did Jaehyuk know all these people in secret? He felt like a right idiot now.

yer a wizard yn!: now they're not, i just shooed them away

yer a wizard yn!: i can't tell u explicitly, but if u figure it out on ur own per se,,,,

jae's phone: ahhhh i see

jae's phone: don't say anything if u go to the academy

jae's phone: LETS GOOOO !! 😩

yer a wizard yn!: u r so…

jae's phone: handsome, smart, funny, etc lots to choose from

yer a wizard yn!: *crickets*

jae's phone: rude 😔

jae's phone: doing anything for the summer?

yer a wizard yn!: nah just working and hanging out w friends. u?

jae's phone: ignoring my responsibilities lol

It wasn't exactly a lie. After Jaehyuk had passed away, his father had made it incredibly clear that Intak was now to step into his shoes. No more second child privileges. Plus, how could he find the energy to get away when that was all he did last summer to forget the pain of Jaehyuk leaving?

yer a wizard yn!: once when jae (well ig *you*) and his family went on vacation, he left the car w me. it was kind of weird having that thing just sitting in my garage

jae's phone: really? huh. what year was that

yer a wizard yn!: i think he said u guys were going to jeju or sumn

Ah, that must have been the last vacation Intak could remember enjoying with Jae.

jae's phone: oh yeah, i remember that holiday

jae's phone: he must've really trusted u then

yer a wizard yn!: yeah ig so… couldn’t even drive it then, so maybe that’s why lol

Minutes passed of silence in the text chain. Intak wanted to know what she was thinking on the other side of the phone, if she was even as sad as he was. He'd figured out that his brother and Yn had been really close, so she must have gone through some type of grieving process like he had? He didn't know anyone else as heartbroken as he was. His dad didn't really care, only that his number one heir was now six feet under. Intak was still bitter that his father didn't even stay after the funeral, but he supposed everyone grieved in different ways.

Intak picked up the phone again and began typing. My brother didn't trust a lot of people, he admitted. Idk why I feel the need to but thanks for being there for him.

yer a wizard yn!: wish i had been there for him better to be honest

Yeah, that one hurt. I get that. I blame myself too.

yer a wizard yn!: ur brother loved u a lot tho, intak. that's why he left u the car

yer a wizard yn!: it was something to remember him by

Intak swiped at the warm tears trailing down his face. He wished he didn't have the dumb car. He wished his brother was here instead.

yer a wizard yn!: i'm sorry if i made u upset, but just remember that he loved u so much

yer a wizard yn!: if u ever need someone to talk to who knew him as u did or close to how u did, then come find me

jae's phone: thanks yn

jae's phone: i wish he had trusted me enough to introduce me to u tbh

Somehow, she had figured out that he wasn't saying this as a joke like all the other times.

yer a wizard yn!: he did trust u. he was just trying to protect me

jae's phone: it worries me when u say that

yer a wizard yn!: it's okay just,,, forget i said anything

As if he could just forget that speaking to her could jeopardize her. He didn't even know how this could get her in trouble, if he was interpreting what she was saying correctly. If only Jae had left him a note explaining who Yn was, but he supposed it wasn't … safe to?

jae's phone: how did my brother even find u lol

Great segue, he shoveled a spoon of cereal into his mouth so he didn't have to look at his gross attempt at a subject change.

yer a wizard yn!: strangely enough, just like this

jae's phone: ??

yer a wizard yn!: he texted my number thinking it was this auto repair helpline he found online w his problems and i fixed his car haha

jae's phone: oh yo that's kinda cool tho

yer a wizard yn!: ur both really bad w cars

jae's phone: oUT OF POCKET 😭

jae's phone: wait so u go to the academy

yer a wizard yn!: bye intak

jae's phone: NOOOO WAIT COME BACCCK

It was late, that much he knew, but sleep would not bless his eyes and body and mind. Intak stared up at the dark ceiling of his bedroom with moonlight streaming through the curtains by his bedside. There were too many things in his head to even think about a peaceful night of sleep.

"You could just look her up in the yearbook," he said aloud into the darkness. "But that would be invading her privacy." And Yn had made it so very clear that she was against him finding out her identity. But she had pretty much confirmed that she went to the academy, that she was in his year, and that her name was actually Yn—

Wait. Okay, so maybe she hadn't confirmed the latter yet, but Intak assumed his brother didn't make contact names that didn't make sense.

He sighed. He wished Jaehyuk could have given him some sort of sign.

Intak reached for his phone sitting on the nightstand, but instead of going to YouTube or some other streaming service he opened up her text messages.

Just as he was about to type a greeting, she beat him to it.

yer a wizard yn!: can't sleep either?

jae's phone: yeah ig not

jae's phone: wbu?

yer a wizard yn!: yeah no same

jae's phone: i wanna ask u stuff, but i don't wanna make u uncomfortable. it's not abt u personally, it's just abt ur connection w my brother. idk really

yer a wizard yn!: this is closure for u, i get it

yer a wizard yn!: ask to ur heart's content

jae's phone: did u know… that he was sick?

There was a long pause, and Intak waited patiently while laying on his side.

yer a wizard yn!: i found out really late

yer a wizard yn!: i knew something was wrong, but he was good at hiding it

yer a wizard yn!: i didn't get to say goodbye to him tho

jae's phone: i'm sorry yn

yer a wizard yn!: don't be, it's okay

yer a wizard yn!: were ur friends close to him too?

jae's phone: they thought he was cool and they got along, but they weren't super close. ig i can say ur one of the very few people who prob grieved like i did

yer a wizard yn!: that's… god, that's really sad. everyone at school liked him tho

jae's phone: tch yeah, but yk our school's full of fake shitheads

yer a wizard yn!: yeah fs… i think ur wrong in one aspect tho

jae's phone: what's that?

yer a wizard yn!: *grieves not grieved, i think we're both still grieving

jae's phone: would u be uncomfortable if i sent a voice message?

As soon as he sent the text, he grimaced. Oh no, he was going to be faced with immediate rejection. Intak scrambled onto his stomach and elbows to get in a better position to text faster and beat the three moving dots at the bottom of the screen.

yer a wizard yn!: sure go ahead

jae's phone: WAITWAIT

He wanted to slap himself.

jae's phone: okay uhm gimme a second

jae's phone: didn't actually think u would agree

Good going, idiot. Now what?

Intak sat up against his headboard. He didn't know why he asked in the first place, but maybe he just wanted to voice his thoughts aloud for once. He licked his lips, gathered his thoughts—

"Hey—" he cleared his throat, coughing and wishing he didn't just voice crack. "Sorry, hi. I thought this was gonna be a lot less awkward, but here goes nothing." He paused, then continued on, "Do you ever… miss him? Just miss him a lot. Sometimes I watch movies and they're always like—sometimes I feel them sitting next to me or hear their laughter—and I don't. I don't feel him next to me, I don't hear his voice or his laugh, Yn. I wish I did though. I wish I could miss him like that. Do you think it would hurt less if I did?"

Intak hit the send button, then exited out of the app so he could look for the right kind of music to listen to. The room was just too quiet right now.

To his surprise, when she replied, it was not in the form of a text message, but in the form of her own voice message. He was about to hear her voice. That had to mean something right?

"Hey Intak." His heart thumped. Woah… "Yeah, I was unsure of replying in a voice message, but I thought it was fair. Don't worry; I've gaslit myself enough to feel comfortable," she laughed to herself. "That was a joke, by the way. Yeah, I laugh at my own jokes."

Intak snorted.

The sound of laughter faded slightly as she continued on though. "Yeah, I miss him a lot. I think… I think this past year, I've been trying to ignore the fact that I miss him, but I do. When I saw the convertible steaming that one day, I just couldn't stop myself from texting his number, I guess. Force of habit. I don't really feel those sensations either, but I don't think it would hurt any less if you did feel that way. I think any way you grieve is valid, really." Her voice went quiet at the end. "You're not alone, y'know?"

His cheeks were warm again and his breathing trembled. Intak hugged his knees to his chest, wondering why his head hurt when he was crying, but maybe it was because he had not cried fully in a long time. He sniffled, collecting himself to reply.

"Thanks Yn," he said, voice slightly hoarse from his crying. "You have a nice voice, by the way." Nice was an understatement. His heart was beating a little too fast at the moment.

She replied with, "Thanks Intak. You, too."

jae's phone: u said ur friends knew him too

jae's phone: were they close?

yer a wizard yn!: yeah, i'd say they had gotten to know him almost as well as i did. they hung out w us at the garage

jae's phone: like an auto repair shop?

yer a wizard yn!: yeah

jae's phone: this feels illegal to know

yer a wizard yn!: maybe u deserve a taste of the forbidden for once tho

And for some reason, that engraved itself in his head and right above his heart. He wouldn't know that from here on out, he would wear that phrase like a crown.

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permanent taglist: @flwoie @vatterie @seomisaho @hqrana @ja4hyvn @kaaimins @shakalakaboomboo @sodafy @leaz-kpop-life @pxppxrminty @fluorescentloves @mosviqu @haechansbbg @kflixnet

[dreamsndmadness]

hellooo!!!(sorry in advance for all of the rambling)

first of all, im absolutely gushing from all of the soft moments in ch9: feyd nearly crying from being cared for, paul helping feyd with his nightmares, and feyd being protective/caring in both the breakfast scene and throughout the spice field inspections :333. It was all VERY adorable and paul finally being unhesitating about his sexual relationship with feyd and them communicating (both implicitly with paul reading feyds body language and explicitly with paul making feyd ask for what he wants), it's all very rewarding in general :)

Also, ive just been thinking nonstop about all the stuff going on with paul. so, my first theory about pauls exhaustion was because he was staying up because of feyds nightmares waking up but then i re-read it and saw paul was tired even before they shared a bed, and then i remembered that lack of sleep is a common symptom of pregnancy so thats my leading theory rn, that OR paul is staying up late reading lol. im also so interested in what paul and lady jessica are plotting, they mentioned controlling feyd and learning more about him in the beginning and then theres the date palm scene. I remember in the movies that date palms are definitely on arrakis so my first thought was that feyd was being a paranoid little freak about it but then i thought lady jessica might be trying to assess pauls health or something?? its safe to say im super hyped for the paul POV

sorry about the length and INCREDIBLY half formed theories

( •̀ - •́ ) ₊˚⊹ ᰔ

The wonderful bowl100!!

I love your questions ☺️. Omg yay!!! I’m so glad you liked the chapter. I always have a crisis of confidence when I post new chapters 🙃. Yesss. The softness. Feyd cutting the fruit and making sure Paul eats was one of my favorite moments from the chapter. It’s so hard to write moments of tenderness from him without it seeming out of character. And then he can never be honest with himself about why he’s doing things or why certain things are making him feel certain ways. Man. This guy. Feyd used his words FINALLY!!! And yes!! I’m so happy for Paul. Starting to enjoy himself. It’s so important.

Okee so here’s what I can say. You aren’t wrong about any of your guesses per say. It’s been such a joy to write from Paul’s pov because he’s a much more emotionally evolved person so I can write him being like “ah yes. This is making me feel this way!”. So one of the biggest reasons for Paul’s exhaustion is that he has been having dreams. Some of them good, some of them pretty disturbing. And yes, we will be seeing them in the next chapter. He is also (not really a spoiler cause it’s in the tags) pregnant! Another big reason! That’s going to be a plot point of the next chapter as well.

Lol the date palm scene!! You’re right on both counts. Feyd is being a paranoid little freak. He’s like “they are speaking in code!!” No you weirdo, they are talking about date palms. However, I am going to give him a little credit because he did pick up on the weird energy of the scene which is basically due to Jessica trying to draw Paul out of his funk. She’s worried about him and thinks he’s not doing well, and she’s trying to cheer him up and also trying to subtly (probably too subtly) signal to Feyd to do the same. Which he kinda gets! Cause he then invites Paul to come with him on inspection and Jessica is like “thank fucking god you are so fucking dense”. To Feyd. Not Paul. Paul can do no wrong in Jessica’s eyes lol.

Anyway! All of your theories were pretty spot on and perceptive!!! Sorry it took so long for me to respond 😔. I’ve been sick this week and it’s been a struggle. I have most of Paul’s chapter finished (it’s sitting at 5,500 words right now 😀). And I hope to edit and post tomorrow!!

Thank you as always for your lovely questions. I look at your wonderful art every day 🥹.

All the best 🫶.

[theconstitutionisgayculture]

Heya!

Honestly I agree with many of your points and generally enjoy your blog!

But honestly there are a few that make me go... "yeah I should probably unfollow you"

I am a gun toting, gay, freedom loving man in my heart but some of your views seem to be explicitly against true freedom.

Pro-life is the opposite of freedom and as a libertarian I think you, and I, should strive for the utmost freedom possible, not advocating for a system which encourages coat hanger abortions and represses women in such a meaningless way.

Honestly. I personally find abortion to be not really... Up my alley. I dislike it. I find it gross and I think it is snuffing out the light and beauty of life but at the same time, I believe it is in every American's right to make that decision themselves.

God bless. (Sorry for having to make this an anon ask, I have good friends who wouldn't want to see me on this page lol)

Yeah, I've addressed this nonsense before. But libertarianism isn't about no rules or no government. It's about limited government. You can be libertarian and still support a moral rule of law. Do you think laws against murder are anti-freedom? What about human rights? Do you support the right to life? Or do you think "freedom" means "everyone should be able to do whatever they want at all times for any reason"?

I support human rights. I support protecting innocent life. Abortion violates both of those principals by killing innocent children. Banning abortion doesn't "oppress woman". You're not supporting freedom or women by saying "yeah I don't really like abortion and I do think it's killing a child, but it shouldn't be banned because freedom". Where do you draw the line? When is it not okay to kill a child because of "freedom"?

As for "coat hanger abortions", there is no evidence of them ever happening. Illegal "back alley abortions" use the same methods as abortions you can get now at any Planned Parenthood in the country. They happen in clinics and are performed by the same people who would perform a legal abortion. The number of deaths from "illegal abortions" are also wildly exaggerated. Bernard Nathanson, the co-founder of NARAL who helped abortion get legalized in the first place, admits that

[I]t was always "5,000 to 10,000 deaths a year." I confess that I knew the figures were totally false, and I suppose the others did too if they stopped to think of it. But in the "morality" of our revolution, it was a useful figure, widely accepted, so why go out of our way to correct it with honest statistics? The overriding concern was to get the laws eliminated, and anything within reason that had to be done was permissible.

In reality, if you look at the data, there are the same number of deaths per year from legal abortion as there were from illegal ones, 15-35 per year.

I would recommend actually looking into these things, as well as what actually happens during an abortion and the reasons why women get them (hint: almost all abortions are elective, not for any health related reason), but I fear you conveniently unfollowed me before I could post anything that might get you to reexamine your beliefs. Which is a shame, because you're almost there. You already understand that abortion is "snuffing out the light and beauty of life", but you still need that extra push to realize that banning or restricting immoral acts to protect human rights--in this case the right to life--is not contradictory to believing in and supporting freedom. It is, in fact, necessary.

[silver-wield]

hmm in the premise that SE is definitely set out to be killing a non existent ship in the trilogy (preferably in part 2 already), I just don't understand how anyone can think the story would go astray from it's array of chekhov's guns. Tbh, when I first watched AC, as a kid, in my mind I just assumed tifa was his gf and z and a were like his comrades who died. The part where he called him "mother" did help tons for me to think of it this way. It was only after 15 years? That I discovered there was even a debate? So I spoiled myself and by the principles of storytelling, FF7 seems to have the trope of quite literally any amnesia tropy kdrama plot I've ever seen that also exist in jp media. Aka, anything that happened during his amnesia phase does not count after finding out who he is, because he was most party manipulated to not remember things by the narrative and its character. Mind you, this is just me spoiling myself for a small context of a game i haven't played yet and only have superficial understanding of the characters. Also, the part in lifestream really sells it lol, he gets himself back? Because he was false before? It's so weird why this is even confusing.

So, I had a conversation with my bro about this and he's a debater, I told everything about the "LTD" and it's a long talk but he says, it's a non-debate. Since cloti is sourced explicitly in the game and sources, answering cloud's feelings as the main question.. the ltd asks "what does he feel for a?" But the thing is, it can also be asked "what does he feel for z?" Easily can be romantic IF we base thier "logic" of ca on zack + cloud. Canon wise both are stated as friends to him. But romantic? For both, it LITERALLY doesn't exist. It's not as to make it vague per say, but that the writers, story, and characters have no idea that it's even needed to be answered. Aka it is by default platonic. Not vague, it's platonic as stated by canon sources as it's the only one that exists. The LTD is a cult like idea that continued to persist in the fandom of FF7. But never in the mind of it's creator. This is their mistake. They find this as an activity of the fandom, but reality is, it undermines their work greatly. Destroying all the characters, and story they've made and for what? Cheap pity fan service? That's lazy. This isn't a charm of the game, but a mistake of its delivery. I mean as evident as how many pitied tifa in AC. Essentially it's like 1+1=2 (canon) but someone says it's 3. In short it's BS, but a lot are biting on "maybe it is 3" and ignoring all the proof for the sake of negating. Hence a non-debate because canon has already won and will always win.

Now, I saw a zerith point out how they're so happy they're even getting anything. Tbh I found this strange, a good story would utilize the successful built up if zack and they are thank god. But why do I see this as a random person? And they don't? I feel there's trauma in this fandom, and I hate that for all of you and a story that has intense potential. Which leads me to a "funny" thought. It seems for so long, cas have been going on about their way to misinform everyone, thus encouraging incels, dudebros, bandwagoners alike. This does not seem to sit well with devs, I sure hope so. I feel like the fact that they've been this toxic, is the reason why SE is extra mean to them and is even planning to finally give them an answer to the "what does c feel for a?" After all these time? A question that was never important to begin with because it's already platonic by default but copers want more. It is because of this desire, most likely "he doesn't feel romantically inclinde, even if you as a player did, he does not, never will, never did" would be the answer. SE could have let them have their merry way, but they've been pos. So they made the compilation, imperfect, but there's Zack, now Zerith is coming around and with closure, Cloti is being emphasized. They added stuff for cloti and more important, reduced what was "theirs". Had cloud's mocap actor emphasize cloti and downplay ca. We even had a trailer quite literally exposing to the whole world how disgusting the idea of ca is, and if you liked it? Lol get help , your morals are astray. There's so much much more, and for some reason if this is successful, if SE actually gives a shit for art and not cheap money? Then lmao, cas made all of this happen just because they can't stop fcking things up. The existence of a problem, that needs to be fixed. Because of that, ZA will be pushed on their faces, and they will definitely not like CT more with all the sexual built up in part 1. I'm obviously joking to " thank them", of course, the devs who lost their patience are to be thanked as they've been inspired to take responsibility for their shortcomings as well. But yeah, if everyone understood OG on the get go? And AC didn't get much shit? Nobody pitied tifa? doubt we would be even getting this much content for cloti, maybe cloud, and quite especially tifa.

It's a strange journey, but I hope I'm right about them having integrity. I sure hope so. I hope they don't leave room for pity, I hope they are ruthless with it. I don't think I ship anyone but I am a sucker for a masterpiece, and I very much want this to be one.

None of the devs have ever thought about that ship, and even when asked point blank Nojima was all "idk" and had to come up with something on the spot but even that was negative because he stated Aerith cares more about the planet than she would Cloud

Which is obvious from how she has zero respect for him

[autobot-ratchet]

MTMTE 7-8 (plus the 2012 Annual)

MTMTE 7

oh it's fucking cringelord time lmfAO I know we saw Tarn in the Hoist spotlight but here he is for the first time for real and I am going to roast this man alive every time I see him

oh my gooooOOOD, bro, I am immediately rolling my eyes just at the way he talks, this dude thinks he's a fuckin Bond villain, wine glass in one hand, petting his fancy cat with the other. I cannot believe how many people wanted to fuck this, could not POSSIBLY be me I could never be that embarrassing

aww poor Swerve, he never meant for Rung to get hurt

eeyyy it's the Scavengers, hell of a way for them to meet Fulcrum lmAO

I like how the person who's taking the thumb drive Red Alert left with Rung's body is definitely Drift but they made his shadow look more generic and didn't give it his giant thighs because then it would be too recognizable

I wonder, are all the weird, organic/machine hybrid experiments on this symbol ship, like, prototypes of Skorponok's organic decepticon he ends up making? I don't remember if that's ever explicitly stated but like. What else could all this weird shit be

eyyyyy it's Grimlock, I forgot that the Scavengers pick him up this early

MTMTE 8

honestly, good for the Scavengers for deciding “fuck the DJD, let's fight 'em” they're right and they should say it

first thing Grimlock does upon waking up is punch Tarn in the dick, attaboy lmAO

ooouughfgg I forgot that Chomedome learns what Skids's traumatic memory is this early in the story. Honestly, I forgot that a ton of things get set up way early in the story, hell, Skids starts asking people if they like music almost immediately after showing up

fucking GOOD for Fulcrum, telling Tarn to shut up and listen to his speech, god knows we've had to sit through at least two of Tarn's pretentious speeches so far, one per the two issues he's been in

ngl I kinda forgot about Flywheels entirely lmAO when he first showed up, I was like “I don't remember this guy being one of the Scavengers” but now I know it's because he fucking dies after one issue

MTMTE Annual 2012

I love how casually we're just shrinking down and fighting microscopic bad guys in Ultra Magnus's mouth. I also love how he has to smile to save himself from death. We're less than 10 pages in

aww Tailgate... he tries so hard to be friends with Cyclonus

poor Drift is so excited to see the Circle of Light again... he really does just never see any of them again, save for Axe's body way later on

fgdsjks and poor Magnus getting bullied by the crew, leave him alone he's sensitive

Poor Tailgate too, his little graduation ceremony gets all fucked. At least Cyclonus was there in secret

and poor Swerve as well, he feels so bad about accidentally shooting Rung

honestly I love this insight on Ore, I love when this comic gets to delve into characters who aren't part of the main squad, especially posthumously, it always makes me wonder what could've been if they got to stick around

ah yes, this was the issue that got me genuinely interested in Drift lmAO straight up, him getting angry enough to punch out Whirl had me like “Ooh? Spicy? Pretty boy's got some spice to him? Tell me more” and then he went on to become my favorite lmfAO

“Primus- Warrior God!” lol. Lmao even

oof oh Skids don't say those things..... it's so fucked how even though he does not remember The Traumatic Event, it's still pretty clearly coloring his perception of things on a subconscious level

ooh, interesting that Drift's the one who stops Chromedome from finding proof of god. Because he believes faith is more important or because he's scared of there being a definitive answer?

“you don't have to believe in a higher power to be overawed by the world around you” I love that, that's how I feel about it too. More than any kind of god, I believe in nature, this world, and the people on it. I think there's definitely something out there that's beyond our comprehension that made us, that made the universe as we know it, but that thing being an old bearded white man??? not so much that lmAO I don't know what the fuck made us and neither does anyone else, and in the meantime, we're stuck here on this planet with each other so we should focus on making life not completely miserable and worry about what comes after later

fuckin good for Swerve, telling Rodimus “No”

god this annual is so good lmAO it's about humanity! Yeah, yeah, they're robots but you get it! It's about choosing kindness, despite everything! It's about understanding, or at least making the effort to understand! It's about faith, in god, in the people around you, in everything! FUCK!!!!!!!!

I gotta admit, I'd been a bit worried bc throughout this re-read I haven't felt much strong emotion. That was always something I was worried about before finally reading the comic again, that fandom had drained me so much that I was no longer capable of feeling genuine enthusiasm for things I used to love, especially once I started going through my MTMTE tag chronologically and seeing how intensely I used to feel about it. I was genuinely worried that those feelings were gone forever but nah, this issue made me feel at least a fraction of that passion again, and while I don't know if it'll ever get as strong as it used to be, at least it's not gone and I know it'll grow the more I re-read

[whatsyourcolor]

I watched PPP in theaters and now I understand why Kougami apologized to Akane at the end of First Inspector. Kinda bittersweet and it brought things full circle. Aside that, I thoroughly enjoyed the movie and I feel like it progressed the plot of the series even further than the original movie did and sets up the stakes for the final showdown against the Sybil System.

I am curious to learn your thoughts on the movie plot wise and how you feel about the interactions between Frederica and Akane as it relates to Kougami.

I liked the movie too. I thought the animation was excellent and seeing the original magical trio working together is awesome. It is bittersweet. The plot is heavy, sometimes too heavy, but I thought at least it was more congruent than the plot of S3. There are still parts I didn't get, such as why would Sybil decide to give the Stroyanka papers to Tomami. No idea.

As per Frederica and Kogami, I think they care about each other and are frank with each other. Kogami calling her out on lying to Saiga was hilarious to me. It leads me to believe that they speak to each other informally and honestly. It seems like they spend a lot of time together and there's trust between them. Both Kogami and Akane call Frederica by her first name. I wonder if it is because she's half British or something?

Akane and Kogami...it seems like the writers purposefully made the relationship awkward. I didn't quite understand why Kogami had to apologize to Akane specifically. In that case he should've apologized to Ginoza as well. Although, you could say he kinda does when they have that conversation in the boat. I wish there had been more emotion between Akane and Kogami, not only the professional dialogue they have, always related to work. I guess the call that got cut short could've been a possibility for that kind of dialogue. Oh, well. A lot of people see shinkane in this movie, and I don't explicitly find it to be there, but seeing them together stirred me and inspired me and it made me more shinkane fanatic than I was before. Sad. I'm pathetic, lol.

I found Kogami mostly indifferent, though as @jediofbooksandsnacks pointed out to me, he shows emotion when he's reading Akane's letter. A little too late, if you ask me.

What were your thoughts about those two relationships? I'm curious. I see some people shipping Frederica and Kogami too. Just like Akane and Homura, I don't see it. But to each their own!

[oswaldsleftbicep]

basic relationship hcs + moodboards

none of the photos are mine.

genre: other

cw: suggestive/mature photos, feminine bodied people/hetero implied relationships in some photos sorry blame pinterest

Lucia

❧ fun dates!! whenever he gets free time, almost always will he choose to go out and do something fun, like arcades or carnivals

❧ he does love a night in as well, curling up in bed with a few snacks, watching a movie or show (also i say night in, but he would also be down to do this at like 1 pm)

❧ he's shameless with how much he loves you; he'll go all out with the flowers and presents, wear matching clothes/accessories and show them off, wear funny shirts that explicitly state he's in a relationship

❧ and don't get me started on the staring; this man looks at you like you hung the moon in the sky, any basic onlooker will be able to tell he's head over heels for you

❧ loves a good creative session, whether it's doing a silly craft or building legos! he'd make the two of you race to build things

❧ this man is goofy!! teases you like crazy!! and it seems to increase tenfold when you're in public smh. but he does it out of love <3

Levy

❧ this man is all about books, so expect there to be lots of reading together and bookstore dates

❧ he's quite the scholar, so if you also happen to be studying something, there will be study dates!! if not, he's more than okay with you helping him, or if you're just nearby doing your own thing

❧ loves to take you to quiet, scenic places for dates; there's something calming about being alone with you in a location almost as beautiful as you

❧ and at these special spots, he's fond of bringing along a picnic basket and blanket!

❧ he loves to learn, and seems to be especially fond of history, so museum dates are a must! you both make it a point to visit one museum per month, trying to find the lesser known ones

Mefy

❧ he's the perfect balance between chaos and calm; he gets his bursts of mischievousness and you already know you're in for a fun night

❧ his secret guilty pleasure is going to arcades and absolutely demolishing kids in multiplayer games; he shows them absolutely no mercy, and he expects you to join in lol

❧ he's also not above messing with people's belongings and property, trying to stick to the whole "confuse, don't abuse" way of pranking

❧ you're not safe from his torment, either, not even in public; as soon as you have your back turned, he's already in the middle of doing something odd to you, just to see a reaction

❧ on the more gentler side, he adores your quiet nights in together, how the two of you can unwind with some skin and nail care, a bottle of champagne, and the latest gossip

❧ he's a bully and unpredictable, but he adores you more than anything and values all time you spent with him

Oswald

❧ a true nature boy, probably grew up as a granola kid, so spending time outdoors is a given

❧ everything hozier sings about, this man embodies <3 his vibe is just tea and whiskey

❧ absolutely gives you little flowers everyday, sometimes paired with a quick love note sprawled out in messy writing

❧ no matter what your size is, this man towers over you and makes you look minuscule, which makes for fun opportunities where he picks you up and carries you around or holds you in different manners

❧ wants to be more domestic with you, so the two of you will often have baking attempts, which more often than not turn out messy as flour covers every available surface, including yourselves

❧ soso gentle with you; he absolutely adores your whole existence and handles you like one of his flowers

Kaim

❧ classy. this man is a gentleman at its finest, so expect him to be very formal and traditional with you

❧ prefers to go out at night, mostly to fancy restaurants, but because of his work schedule, date nights are maybe once a week

❧ his love language is most definitely acts of service: he'll get you a beverage in the morning, make you breakfast in bed, cook dinner for you, massage your body; anything you ask, he'll do it

❧ he can play a few instruments, and if you play one too, great! time for a duet!! if not, he loves having you just sit and watch him play

❧ random slow dances are a must; he's not great with his words, so whenever he invites you to dance, think of it as a declaration of his love and adoration <3

Mikael

❧ y'all are definitely that couple that shit talks and thinks knows they're better than everyone else

❧ most of your days together are spent in ease and relaxation, nothing fast paced, just calm and gentle moments together

❧ hates cooking for himself, but you can badger him into cooking with you as a way to spend time together

❧ definitely a wine guy; if you drink, the two of you more often than not end your days with a small glass to unwind and talk about everything that happened during the day, and anything else that comes to mind

❧ loves a good mind game to pass the time, i'm talking chess, scrabble, even clue; they're fun and a good way to exercise logic

❧ soft intimacy is a must, it's nothing too extreme, just cuddle time, soft caresses, and a shared bath here and there to reconnect with each other

Ricardo

❧ oh boy,,,it's the relationship that to outsiders seems incredibly toxic, but the two of you know that it's not, and more than anything else you both value the consent and trust you've built together

❧ he's sososo touchy in public, and out of public too; pda and physical touch is his thing, both giving and receiving

❧ another fan of late night dates! he likes going to the movies, seeing what's out there and making fun of trailers, and he also likes the thrill of sneaking in food even tho staff doesn't care

❧ his cool, rebellious attitude hides the fact that he adores you, and he treats you like a precious, fine china doll; he wouldn't let anything hurt you

❧ loves to give you piggy back rides and carry you around, which usually leads to him throwing you on the bed repeatedly like a cat lol

Noel

❧ you're definitely his first relationship, and he appreciates you going slow and taking the time to try new things with you

❧ a foodie at heart, he loves dates that involve eating: diners, ice cream shops, homemade pizza, decorating gingerbread houses

❧ he also keeps a small garden, and loves when you help him prune and weed; he'll even pick the prettiest flowers to give to you and let you put in his hair

❧ sleepy sleepy soft boy, loves to take naps with you, and enjoys making your bed as soft and cozy as possible with plush toys, blankets, and pillows; essentially, he wants to make a nest lol

❧ this man is clingy, always has to at least be near you or touching you in some way, so that he knows you're there. he also appreciates the little milestones the two of you share and loves making couples crafts to commemorate them

Lucas

❧ another outdoorsy guy, but in less of a granola way and more of a cottagecore way

❧ loves to go traveling with you and renting quaint air bnb's that are surrounded by plenty of nature for the two of you to explore

❧ especially fond of the little moments, he likes to take the time to smell the flowers with you, dance in the rain, and just take a minute to breathe with nature

❧ he's a big baker and enjoys making sweet treats for you; he'll often have you taste test them, and he values your opinion on recipes more than his own

❧ when it comes to cooking tho, he prefers to do that with you as he finds it more domestic

❧ loves dates where the two of you can make things to display in your home: bob ross tutorial paintings, pottery making, even those diy couples crafts; anything to commemorate and display your love for each other

[touchlikethesun]

okay i actually am going to elaborate.

so to get it out of the way, there is the very obvious textual reference. the cattons are literally shown reading the harry potter books multiple times, and they even have a "discussion" about the characters (i use the word discussion loosely but yknow). as far as i can remember, this is the only book that we ever see anyone actually reading and discussing (they reference other authors but not their works; in oli and farleigh's english tutorial they make a point that farleigh avoids talking about the book that the tute is supposed to be on and oli implies that farleigh hasn't read it).

then there are the secondary references, still quite obvious imo, but i can see how they might go over some people's heads (not everyone is as obsessed with hp as i am lol). oxford itself could be seen as a harry potter reference. oxford is quite well-known for being the inspiration behind hogwarts, and a few scenes of the movies were literally filmed on location there. none of the scenes in saltburn were filmed in the same places as harry potter was, whether this was on purpose or whether this was just because those colleges wouldn't let them, i couldn't say (technically i think they do film on the outside of one of the rooms that was in the film but i'm not counting that), but the library that we see them study in does look a lot like the duke humphrey's library, which was the library in the first film, and the inspiration for the library set in the other films. also, felix and venetia have matching 6-star tattoos, which, this could just be a coincidence, but the stars look suspiciously like the stars at the top of harry potter pages,

and (as someone on tiktok pointed out to me) at the time the film was set, only 6 of the 7 books had been released... one star per book, perhaps?

the only other bit of imagery i can think of is oliver and the stag motif, but i think that's relatively weak. it bears mentioning, but it's not the most important.

what these references do tho is they quite explicitly tie harry potter to saltburn in a way that is impossible to just be coincidence. but why would emerald fennell choose to link her aesthetic dark tale about obsession and the british upper class with something as low brow as a children's fantasy series like harry potter? excellent question, excellent question indeed (i tell myself and you the reader, we are very smart to ask this yknow)...

there are a few reasons the director might have made this choice which more or less tie together, but i want to start by replying to the claim that saltburn is disqualified from being "dark academia" because of the prevalence of harry potter. i personally am on the fence whether or not saltburn qualifies as dark academia, but were i to argue for its inclusion, the references to harry potter would be one of the first points i brought up. a misconception about dark academia is that its main focus is on the exaltation of knowledge; dark academia, for me and from my readings, is much more about the critique of elite institutions and how aesthetics and reputation mask an emptiness and a darkness (it's literally in the name, dark academia).

to this point, harry potter in saltburn works as a perfect critique. these are all oxford students, they are "supposed" to be incredibly cultured and knowledgeable, and yet, the only book they discuss is a popular children's book, and they only seem to talk about the ships, not the themes. felix and farleigh are students at oxford, but they spend their summer, not in intellectual pursuits, but faffing about reading hp. there's nothing inherently wrong with enjoying a bit of light reading, but this purposefully highlights that students at oxford do not always live up to the expectations and stereotypes of outsiders (and fennell being an alum herself, i'd say, she knows what she's doing). i think its also of note that its the aristocratic students that get away with this, not oliver, even though i wouldn't say he's that much better. (there are other media that further this theme, that the wealthy elites are not actually more cultured than any of the rest of us, the karaoke, the shitty films, the top 40 pop music, etc. etc. despite being "elites" in their free time they choose to indulge in "low brow" media all the time.)

the second (much larger) reason i want to talk about here is harry potter's connection with britishness. the good bad and ugly of harry potter is that it is so incredibly british, steeped in british mannerisms, culture, references, outlooks, and i think emerald fennell is aware of this. since i'm not british myself, i don't want to say too much on this at the risk of leaning too hard on stereotypes (if someone from the uk has something to add or correct please by all means, be my guest), but i think harry potter, like dark academia and like saltburn, relies very heavily on aesthetics and on keeping up appearances to mask a sinister and pessimistic world view where, there is no dismantling of horrible systems, there is only working within them and gaming them to your favour. there is nothing more british than harry potter and there is likewise nothing more british than emotional repression and an obsession with wealth.

i don't know i think the effect wouldn't have been the same with other ionic bits of british pop culture. i think the choice to have the characters focus so much on harry potter was a very careful and calculated one, and i think emerald fennell should be applauded for her shrewdness in that choice.

now when are we going to pull out the literary analysis big guns and talk about how important harry potter is to saltburn’s story and aesthetic???

[huggybug]

better together - matt boldy

word count: 4.6k words

requested?/inspired by this! my first time writing for boldy🫣 i hope it’s good enough lol and if it is.. i officially write for matt boldy!

You had gone through a lot in your life. A statement your brothers would call you dramatic for saying but you always argued that you had a point. It was tough enough growing up with three brothers, two older and one being your twin, but with all of them being top prospects, you seemed to fall through the cracks.

The Hughes family was America’s favourite. They adored your brothers, of course, and your parents as well. You stayed out of most interviews, only ever being mentioned but not for long, not before it was forgotten in favour of Jack’s newest record.

Growing up, Quinn was always the one who stuck up for you. He made sure you were included or that Jack and Luke weren’t teasing you too much. Quinn was the one who helped clean up the scrape you got on your knee when Jack pushed you aside in order to get the ball in whatever silly game you were playing, he was also the one who wiped away your tears when Johnny, your grade 6 boyfriend, found a new girlfriend at his summer camp, leaving you in the dust.

And it wasn’t that Jack and Luke weren’t good brothers per say, they just didn’t exactly realize that you were different since you were a girl. You wanted to play dress up and barbie’s while they wanted to play hockey and wrestle. It didn’t even matter though because eventually, once you all grew up, it was much easier to hang out and be friends with each other.

However, that wasn’t the case until a couple years ago, things actually shifted when Jack started playing in New Jersey. Before that, things were just different, you were just Jack Hughes’ little sister and that’s exactly how everyone treated you.

2018

“Can I come?” You asked hopefully.

“Uh no… you’re too young” Jack said, leaving you out of plans as per usual. It wasn’t like you desperately needed to join in on their plans. They were going to a movie, one that you could just watch at home but… you hated to be left out.

“But Luke is going, we’re literally twins” Jack just shrugged and you looked around helplessly at the group, hoping one of them would feel bad for you and coax Jack into letting you come. Trevor and Cole just looked at you, smiling pitifully before grabbing their coats. You whined as the left with Luke following after, not even sparing you a glance.

“I’ll bring you back some sour patch kids” Alex smiled, patting your head as he left. Alex was definitely your favourite.

And if Alex was your favourite, Matt Boldy was your least. He was actually the person who came closest to you despising. Matt was supposedly a nice guy, that’s what your mom said at least. ‘He’s such a sweet kid’ if only you had a dollar for every time you heard that.

If Matt was a nice kid, he sure liked to fool you. He laughed at every joke made at your expense, usually by Jack. For the most part, Jack’s friends were nice. Cole would always say hi to you, even ask how you day was sometimes. Patrick and Trevor would talk to you whenever they came over and you appreciated it, even if they were only doing it to be polite. Alex was the only one who spent time with you, probably since he actually lived in your house. The two of you would have movie nights and you were working your way through Brooklyn 99 together; Alex was your friend, maybe not as much as he was Jack’s but you still claimed him as a friend anyway.

Every memory you had of Matt Boldy was a sour one, he had never explicitly talked to you, maybe the odd comment but he usually just ignored you which you used to hate but now, you considered yourself lucky.

“Y/n’s going out with a boy” Luke laughed as he clamoured down the stairs while you chased after him, yelling for him to keep it quiet. It was bad enough that he found out about your date but now he was running his mouth to Jack? It was so against your twin code.

“No she’s not” Jack snickered and you crossed your arms when you rounded the corner to find him and his friends sprawled out on the couches.

“Oh yeah, that Max guy from my team. They’re going to the movies” Luke sang, teasing you while you pouted, marching over to sit next to Alex who shoved Trevor over to make room for you.

“Baby Hughes got a date?” Matt asked in a tone that made it sound absurd that you actually found someone to go out on a date with you. I mean, if you could even call it that, you were only 15 so your mom still had to drive you there, it was hardly a date.

“Baby Hughes is all grown up” Trevor says despite only knowing you for a few months.

“Is this some sort of bet or something? Emma was telling me about a book where they made a bet that he couldn’t make the weird girl fall in love with him…” Matt asked but was cut off when Alex threw a pillow at his head.

“Dude are you still talking?” Alex Turcotte, everyone. You smiled gratefully at Alex who patted your head in response, he reminded you of Quinn, that’s definitely why you stuck around him.

Long story short, Matt Boldy hated you and you hated him for it. Sorry, you strongly disliked him, your mom didn’t appreciate you saying you hated people.

2019

When Jack’s friends all returned to Michigan for their second year of the program, you had vowed to be a changed woman. You still spent time with Alex and when Luke was busy with hockey, you found yourself spending more time with Jack, something you hadn’t expected. However, Quinn told you that it was because Jack realized he would be leaving soon so he was trying to get all his ‘baby sister time’ in now.

You didn’t mind, you loved it actually. More time with Jack meant more time with his friends and you weren’t upset about that either; Cole and Trevor were actually nice and you accredited it to you being older but they seemed to want to talk to you now. In spite of that, your relationship with Matt didn’t change , not that you wanted it to. He didn’t make the jokes anymore but that was probably because you were closer with the rest of the boys now so they wouldn’t laugh, only tell him to knock it off which ruined the fun for him.

“I don’t understand how you don’t like him, he’s so nice” Quinn said one day over lunch. You went to Ann Arbor with Luke and your mom. They went to look around the campus or something but you decided to go see your oldest brother instead.

“Not to me” You huffed.

“Maybe he has a crush on you” Quinn was laughing before he even finished your sentence. You weren’t sure if it was because of the twisted face you pulled or just the sheer idea of Matt Boldy liking you… both were equally ridiculous to you.

“Quintin please, I’m trying to eat here”

2020

The first year that Jack played in the NHL was weird. It was weird that it was only you and Luke left in the house, Quinn had been gone for a while and even if he was only in Ann Arbor, he was still out of the house. The only sense of normality in 2020 was when everyone gathered at the Hughes lake house.

After being quarantined and many, many tests, everyone was finally able to fly in and since they all arranged for their training to be together, the lake house was full again.

This summer, you got even closer with some of the boys but Matt didn’t let up, especially when he found out about Josh.

“Quinn met Josh last week” You told Alex.

“And? Did he get Huggy’s stamp of approval?” He asked a bit louder than you would’ve liked.

“Did who get my stamp of approval?” Quinn asked as he sat down next to you.

“Josh, ‘boyfriend Josh’” Alex used air quotes, making sure Quinn, and everyone else sitting around the fire, know exactly who he was talking about.

“Ohhh yeah boyfriend Josh is quite the guy” Quinn nodded, taking a long sip of his beer.

“You said you liked him!”

“Wait… who’s boyfriend Josh?” Jack asked.

“Well I think… I think he’s Y/n’s new boyfriend” Trevor grinned before Jack smacked the back of his head.

“Y/n has a boyfriend?” Matt smirked and you rolled your eyes, huffing as you fall back into the couch, annoyed that your relationship has now become a point of conversation with your older brother’s friends.

“Jealous?” You smile smugly which makes Matt grimace.

“Anyways… why haven’t I met boyfriend Josh?” Jack turns to you.

“Can we stop calling him boyfriend Josh?” You groan.

“No pouting!” Luke yells at you as he walks into the room and you roll your eyes, wiggling out from under Alex’s arm to sit up straight.

“No we can’t because then Josh will get confused and think we’re talking about him” Trevor pointed out, motioning over to Josh Norris who’s head raises from looking at his phone.

“I think Josh can pick up on context clues”

“Hold on… our Josh or boyfriend Josh? See? This is already confusing” Trevor shook his head and his question made all the boys start laughing.

“I hate you all” You groan and Quinn throws his arm around you, pulling you into his side.

“Boyfriend Josh is very nice and he’s good for Y/n/n… let’s drop it so that Trev doesn’t strain his brain from thinking too hard”

Jack met your boyfriend later that summer, everyone did actually. You had a few friends come to the lake house for your birthday in August.

“So he is real” You were already regretting this decision and Josh had only been here for five minutes.

“Guys, this is Josh” You took a deep breath, as soon as you uttered the words to Jack and Luke, you head ten sets of steps coming down the hallway.

“Boyfriend Josh!” Trevor exclaimed.

“I didn’t think he was real” Matt mumbled and Patrick elbowed him in the ribs.

“I’m sorry in advance” Alex stepped forward and gave Josh a little bro handshake. They met over facetime a few times, only because you were too scared to tell your brothers at that point.

“Josh, good to see you man” Quinn gave him a little handshake as well and you smiled, it made you happy that Quinn liked him.

The rest of the guys introduced themselves and you only rolled your eyes once when Matt made an off handed comment but Josh squeezed your hand to insure you that it didn’t bother him in the slightest which did help you relax. Other than the pest, the guys were more than welcoming to Josh and despite still calling him ‘boyfriend Josh’ throughout the week, they actually seemed to like him.

2021

This year, you were fresh off a graduation and there was nothing standing in the way of your last summer before college. You were going to the University of Michigan, of course, and you finally didn’t feel like you were that much younger than the rest of your friends.

Josh came back to the lake house this summer, a year into your relationship and it was stronger than ever. The guys welcomed him back and you were glad it seemed to work effortlessly. There were a few girlfriends in attendance this year which you loved, more girls to hang out with was always fun and it also helped keep some of the boys in check.

You spent most of the summer laying around in Josh’s arms, talking about your futures. It was the perfect summer of doing absolutely nothing.

“We should just stay here forever” Josh mumbled and you smiled.

“I’m sure Quinn would love that” Your group had now migrated from your family’s lake house to the new one Quinn and Jack bought together in Michigan. It was much bigger and much fancier, making it obvious that it was the product of two NHL salaries.

Josh laughed, “But seriously, I don’t want to leave you” He was going to Duke for basketball, something you both knew was happening but had chosen to ignore for the past year.

“I know, I don’t want to either” You sigh loudly.

“But we’ll always have this right? This summer was just for us” Josh mumbled and you nodded. This year was the first summer that wasn’t ruined by Matt.

2022

“So, where’s boyfriend Josh?” Trevor asked as he shoved Mackie’s arm away from your shoulders and replaced it with his own. This year, you and Luke’s friends (aka his hockey team) made it to the house and it was definitely a change of pace for you compared to your last two summers.

“Ex-boyfriend Josh” You said quietly.

“EX?” Trevor yelled and all heads turned your way. “When we’re you planning on telling us?”

“I didn’t realize I had to send out a notification to half the league that my boyfriend dumped me” You scoffed.

Eddy came up and pulled you away from Trevor, putting his arms around you protectively. “Y/n/n is better off without him” You smiled while patting his arms. Eddy was your best friend at school which meant he practically went through the break up with you.

“Did he hurt you? Because I swear-” Cole started but Jack’s laughter cut him off.

“Dude what are you going to do?” Patrick asked, “Plus I don’t think Y/n/n needs even more guys to defend her” He motioned to Eddy who smiled happily.

“Nothing happened. He’s at Duke and… I don’t know, long distance sucks” You shrugged. There wasn’t a sad, terrible story. That was it, he moved away and as hard as you tried to make it work, it just wasn’t in the cards for you two.

“Well fuck that guy!” Trevor yelled.

“Yeah, hot girl summer, right?” Alex asked, sending you a smile.

“Don’t ever talk about my baby sister having a hot girl summer, Turcs” Quinn said, a shiver going down his spine.

“He’s not saying she has to fu-”

“Nope! We’re done, let’s go Y/n/n” Quinn pulls you away and you’re laughing loudly.

…

“Where’s… what’s his name? Boyfriend John?” Matt asked as he sat in the lounger next to you, looking at you instead of the lakefront view that your brother’s house offered.

“What is everyone’s obsession with Josh?” You groaned. To be fair, he did just get here a couple hours ago, clearly missing the whole boyfriend update conversation.

“God… sorry for asking” Matt huffed sarcastically.

“No it’s fine… we just broke up so no more boyfriend Josh” You were too busy staring down at your hands to notice Matt’s eyes flicker over to you quickly.

“Oh uh sorry”

“It’s fine, you don’t have to do that” You brushed it off, “I’m not heartbroken or anything”

“I know” He said simply, “You’re not the type to be heartbroken over some guy, let alone a basketball player” Matt made himself laugh and while you weren’t exactly laughing as well, you’d be lying if you said you didn’t chuckle.

“Hey there’s nothing wrong with basketball players” You defended weakly, not like there was any reason to put up a fight anymore.

“Yeah okay” Matt snickered. You weren’t even sure why he was sitting out here and talking to you since all of his friends, that he hadn’t seen in months, were inside but yet he chose to sit out here with you, the girl he’s hated for years now.

“Are you going to stay out here and make fun of me all night or..?”

Matt laughed, “Nah I’m going don’t worry” You watched as he got up and grabbed his phone off the chair, “Just to be clear, I’m not making fun of you, I never was” You didn’t have time to answer because as soon as his words registered he was gone, the door already sliding closed behind him.

The energy shifted over the next few days, Matt was a lot more tolerable and even though his teasing had lessened over the past year or so, it was odd. He would stay quiet, even passing up the easy chirps that would wouldn’t necessarily mind. He also started talking to you more, although anything more than a sentence would be considered ‘more’.

It didn’t go unnoticed either. When Matt chose the seat near you during the fire, Alex raised an eyebrow at you, questioning what was going on. When you were the one who was ordered to grab more drinks, Matt offered to help which made almost everyone wonder what was going on. Luckily, no one said anything.

Everything was going fine. You and Matt weren’t friends but you also weren’t fighting, something Quinn and Alex claimed was a good thing.

Maybe it would’ve been, if you didn’t go and screw it all up during his last week in Michigan. He was one of the first ones to leave, having to be back in Minnesota earlier than usual. The boys weren’t going to let him go without a party though so the whole week leading up to his departure was spent getting absolutely shitfaced every night, not like that was different from any other week.

You should’ve turned away the tequila shots Trevor was bringing around, or maybe the concoction Eddy mixed for you was the thing you couldn’t recover from but whatever it was, you should’ve stopped long before you did.

“Matthew!” You drunkenly shouted, pointing at Matt who was smiling carelessly.

“Don’t call me Matthew, Y/n”

“I’ll do what I want” You pouted dramatically.

Matt laughed, “What’s up?” He fell down onto the patio couch beside you, landing a little closer than originally planned but he blamed it on the alcohol.

“Why do you hate me?” Alcohol made you very forward.

“I don’t hate you”

“Okay… why did you hate me”

“I never hated you” He smiled, “I don’t think anyone could ever hate you”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” You’re pretty sure your words were running into each other, coming out as a slurred mess but Matt still understood.

“You’re Y/n Hughes, that’s what that means” It didn’t make sense but he was too drunk to try and explain it any further.

“You’re so stupid” You laugh, throwing your head back onto the back of the couch but it actually ends up on Matt’s arm since it’s extended behind you.

“Let’s go be stupid together” Matt whispered, almost quiet enough that you didn’t hear him. You weren’t sure how the conversation went from 0-100 so quickly but you also didn’t really mind.

A beat of silence passes before you think of anything to say, “Fine… but you’re making me breakfast tomorrow” It was your drunken compromise but Matt accepted it without hesitation.

“Yep, let’s go”

…

You woke up in the morning with the alcohol gone from your body, as were your clothes. Well, the clothes weren’t exactly gone, they were just strewed around Matt’s bedroom along with his.

You weren’t sure what your plan of attack would be. If you should pretend to be sleeping or just sneak out of the room. Although you weren’t exactly sure what happened last night so staying ‘asleep’ might be your best option; you didn’t exactly feel like getting chirped non-stop at 9 in the morning while Matt slept soundly.

You felt him move and then his arm tightened around your waist, pulling you into him which made your eyes bulge. You squirmed which must have been enough to wake him up because you could feel him moving around more now.

“Oh fuck me” He groaned as you winced.

“Pretty sure I took care of that already” You whispered and you heard him sigh. “So…”

“Ugh Jack’s gonna kill me” Matt moved around some more and his voice sounded muffled so you assumed his face was shoved into the pillow.

“Seriously? We’re in bed and the first thing you think of is my brother?” You scoff, rolling away from Matt but he pulls you back even faster.

“Sorry, hi how’s it going” You twisted around to face him just to find his little smirk present and it made you want to roll your eyes.

“How’s it going? Really?”

“You’re a pain in my ass” Matt groaned and you smiled.

“That’s not very nice Matthew”

“Don’t call me Matthew” He said quickly which made you grin.

“I believe I was promised breakfast Matthew” You flipped around, moving away from him. He said something under his breath but got up anyway. You reached for your phone, scrolling through some notifications while you waited for him to come back. You weren’t even hungry really, you just didn’t want to be the first one to leave the room and… you wanted to see if he’d actually bring you breakfast.

Matt returned a while later with two bowls in his hands. He kicked the door closed and jumped onto the bed, passing you a bowl of scrambled eggs.

“I hope you enjoy those, I went through a lot for them” You raise an eyebrow at him, silently prompting him to explain. “Alex and Trevor were in the kitchen… they had some questions”

“Ew please don’t tell me you told them” The thought of Jack’s friends knowing about your night with Matt was so gross.

“Well no… I-” He was interrupted by the door banging open.

“Yo lovebirds, we’re leaving in 5 let’s go” You glared at Trevor who was grinning at the door. “Oh and Jack wants to talk to you” Trevor skipped away, skillfully dodging the pillow you threw at him.

“I’m dead, totally dead” Matt groaned.

“I can handle Jack, don’t worry” You took your time getting ready before pulling Matt downstairs with you.

“Jack is going to kill you” Alex said when he saw the two of you entering the kitchen.

“Dude, I was drunk” Matt complained and it made you freeze.

“Is that all it was?”

“Well… yeah, isn’t it?” Your mind blanked as heat flushed your entire body.

You backed away, feeling your heart pounding harder with each passing second. “You know what? I’m not gonna go out today, I’m not feeling great” Your eyes darted from Matt to Alex who was now giving you a sympathetic look. You couldn’t stand it so you spun around and sped out of the kitchen and back upstairs, locking yourself in your room, leaving a confused Matt and furious Alex alone in the kitchen.

“What the hell was that?” Matt asked, looking to Alex for answers.

“Bro…” Alex trailed off, leaving the kitchen while shaking his head.

…

Matt spent all day thinking about it. About you, about what he said. It wasn’t just a drunken hookup, he liked you. He had liked you for years now and he finally thought it was time that things could work out for the two of you. At first, you were too young, you weren’t looking for a boyfriend, let alone your brother’s friend who was two years older than you. Then you started dating boyfriend Jason… John… Josh! Yeah boyfriend Josh was a problem for a couple years and now that you were finally single, Matt thought it was perfect timing.

But then he opened his big stupid mouth and ruined everything. You were still in your room when they got back from the lake and you didn’t come out for dinner. Quinn went up to check on you and deliver some food but nobody else had seen you.

“What happened?” Quinn asked when he came to sit next to you on you bed.

“I slept with Matt”

“Okay…” Quinn was still waiting for the details that made you spend a perfectly good day of summer locked inside.

“You’re not mad?”

“Why would I be? You’re an adult, you can do what you want”

You laughed, “Barely, I’m not even legal”

“You’re 19, that’s how old Jack was when he moved out and you’re way more responsible than he was” You wanted to correct him and remind him that Jack was only 18 but you didn’t think it was important.

“True”

“So what happened? Did he do something?”

“No, nothing like that” You could see Quinn visibly relax, “I just… I thought it meant something, I don’t know. Then he told Alex this morning that it was just because he was drunk but really I only have myself to blame because it’s not like he even liked me, it was just in my head and now I feel stupid” Quinn let you ramble, patiently waiting for you to finish before starting his lecture.

“Don’t feel stupid, I understand what you’re saying but also think about it from his side. I’ve been in this type of situation and after I hooked up with this girl-” You interrupt him quickly.

“Ew, Quintin!” You equaled, covering your ears in attempt to shut out his gross hook up stories.

“Shut up, let me finish” He laughed, pulling your hands down. “As I was saying, we had a bit of a miscommunication after and it ended up that we wanted the same thing so really it was all for no reason” Quinn tried to explain as best he could without sharing too much. “I think you should talk to him, have a grown up conversation about it and see what he has to say”

“Okay” Quinn was always right. You trusted him with anything really so when he gave you advice, you always followed it.

You went down to find Matt later that night, slipping out of the house to grab him from the patio where he was sitting with Cole. “Hey” You lightly touched his arm to get his attention and his head whipped around to look at you.

“Hey, are you okay?” He asked with concern filling his eyes.

“Yeah… can we talk?” He nodded and got up, following you back inside to the empty living room, sitting down next to you on the couch.

“I’m sorry” You both said and the same time which made you laugh quietly.

“You first” Matt motioned for you to go ahead.

“I freaked out when you said that it meant nothing to you because… I thought it did but I should’ve asked you and not just assumed you felt the same way. I’m sorry, it wasn’t really fair and it was really immature”

“It did mean something to me. I just said that it didn’t because I didn’t think you wanted it…” Ugh why was Quinn always right?

“Really?” You asked, wanting to make sure he was telling the truth.

“I’ve been crazy about you for a few years now so yeah, really” You bit back a smile when Matt grinned widely at you.

“A few years?” You ask and he nods, “Cradle robber” Matt laughs loudly. “I’m kidding Matthew, don’t worry”

“Stop calling me Matthew” He complained which made you smirk.

“Never” You leaned forward to kiss him quickly but his hands found your waist and held you there for longer.

“Gross, get a room” Quinn teased as he walked into the house. Matt’s eyes went wide, scared of what your brother would say or do. Quinn noticed his expression and laughed, “I don’t care Boldy, just worry about Jack” Quinn walked to the kitchen and returned with a new beer, “But don’t hurt my baby sister…”

“Don’t plan on it” Matt smirks, kissing you again when Quinn leaves.

[heartsgallery]

ricky’s development and how is connected to gina

long post sorryyy

let’s talk! hottest topics on the hsmtmts fandom right now: “ricky liking gina ruins his character development” and “the feelings came out of nowhere”

so i wasn’t really gonna involve in the discussion because i’m sure ep 5 and the rest to come will speak for themselves but it’s been repetitive and i just like to talk

claiming ricky liking gina is character regression might be the craziest thing to say. ever. and SPECIALLY if you ship rini of all things. ricky’s character arc has been build up throughout the seasons and it has always been focused on one thing: ricky is scared of change. this is a fact. ricky’s life in s1 start to crumble when two pivotal things in his life change: he’s not with nini anymore, and his parents are divorcing. this is how the show presents his struggle. that is the thing he is put to overcome throughout the show: accept and embrace change. and in the middle of this, nini is presented as stability.

gina, on the other hand, is the embodiment of change. not only from ricky’s perspective but her persona and history in general. gina is the opposite of stability. gina is always on the move. gina is unexpected, and new and different to what he’s known. gina changes everything. that’s the show’s words, not mine. now with this description… sounds very fitting to the arc we just mentioned for ricky, doesn’t it? doesn’t that sound like the perfect character to help ricky overcome the struggle the show has presented for him? and not to make all about ricky even tho it’s about his character the statement i’m trying to refute, but ricky’s also the person gina needs and wishes at that point of the show. someone that stays the same.

so let’s do a recap because it looks like it’s needed. eventually, red tells ricky to put himself out there. to change, to stop being stuck. because ricky insisting with nini meant for him being stuck. and that night gina kisses him on the cheek and it changes everything. this is interesting to remark but after that kiss, and between the moment gina finds out she’s leaving, rini stops interacting. they end up only having two one on one scenes: after rehearsal, where ricky ends up checking if gina is upset and goes running to sit next to her after, and the next time, they talk on thanksgiving, and the second gina walks through the door after him his focus turns back to her. ricky is moving on. ricky is with someone new and doesn’t hate it. ricky starts to think that maybe not all change is a bad thing. he’s probably the happiest we’ve seen him in that season because he is one step closer to the goal the show has for him.

“and just when you’re used to things changing, they change again”. and suddenly gina leaves, and the only thing ricky thought it could give him hope change wasn’t that bad is gone. and change is THAT bad again. gina is not there anymore. gina is officially out of the equation. not because ricky decided to take her out, because the situation did. they thought they wouldn’t see each other ever again, and even if ricky tries to reach out, gina is the one to shut him down. so a new door opens with nini and he takes it because he needs it. because he needs to go back to how things were. because he tried change and ended up hurting again. THIS is when, purposely, ricky’s character regresses. because he gets further and further away from the goal that has been, plot wise, presented for him in the first episodes. he is as far away from embracing change as he has ever been. the main purpose of his character arc. his regression is explicitly said in the show under the words: “maybe i’m back to who i always was”. he was back to his old self the second gina left. gina means per se character development for ricky. he doesn’t see it by then, but we as the audience do (well only some of us looks like lol). but ricky needs to hit himself against a wall to understand😭 and that wall will be the failure his relationship with nini is gonna be, because, as said in the last ep of s1, “not all couples are meant to be together, sometimes people change”.

rini breaking up shouldn’t have come as a surprise to anyone. it did wonders for nini’s character too but since we’re on the topic of ricky, the storyline basically showcased everything i’ve said before. rini was a product of ricky holding on to the past. i’m sure they loved each other while it lasted but just not in the way it had to. rini was more something they needed that something they WANTED. ricky is away from gina, the most important person on his life to help him accept change, and he basically goes 90 steps back. he is as reluctant to change as he’s ever been, to a point it basically asphyxiates nini and that he doesn’t recognize who he’s becoming. if you want to talk about character regression the first thing you want to talk about is THAT. but let’s think about it a little more… guess who pushed him away from her life (and she was in the right tho) when ricky started going downhill? guess who wasn’t in his life when he split as far away from his main goal as a character? may i say,,,,,,, gina? not a coincidence at all. if you think it is that’s your issue but the show’s been giving you the signs. gina is PIVOTAL in ricky’s development.

gina doesn’t understand what made ricky change like that, she can’t understand his behavior because she’s the other side of the coin, and it ends up in misunderstanding and hurting and what we all know that went down in s2. the showrunner of the show said it himself: ricky was not ready to show his feelings back because he was clinging to the past. because his character development was STUCK. because he was in a stage of regression. he couldn’t be with gina or show feelings for her at that point of the show because his state of mind was far far away from what gina represented in his life.

he breaks up with nini, slowly shows signs of progressing again but still by the end of the season he’s just “getting there”. but in the first episode of season 3, he sings about being free of the old things that haunted him, he shows he’s progressed and that he is once again closer to the goal that has been planted for him since the start, the goal where the figure of gina was always closer to. and now, his feelings showing up when he is so much better personally and emotionally absolutely makes sense. because now, his headspace aligns with the position and what gina means in his life. because now again, he finally sees forward and not back. and gina means moving forward to ricky. always has, since the very first season, and always will, as seen in s3.

so yes, ricky showing his feelings for gina is absolutely not a sign of character regression but the completely opposite, based on the character arc that the show canonly gave ricky since the very first day. the feelings were always there, ricky just needed to be standing in the right place to embrace them, in which he is now. and please don’t come to me saying it’s character regression because he is doing what he did to ej/nini in s1 when he’s not. he’s not making absolutely any moves on gina. every time he feels bad or jealous (he’s allowed to feel like??? he can’t avoid that) he leaves the room and keeps it to himself. the only thing he’s doing right now is wanting the girl he likes/loves to be happy and to have the opportunity to have her moment. he isn’t going behind gina talking shit about ej or begging her to take him like he did with nini. he’s trying to be as dedicated as he’s ever been only so she can shine. that is not a crime, that is not homewrecking, that’s not making moves folks, that’s just being purely in love. and no one can helps what one feels.

hope this cleared out some things and we’re all start being more serious bc 😭 the takes i’ve seen. sorry for this long post if ur reading this bc you read all of this you’re amazing and ily

[rebeccccccaaa]

𝚃𝚠𝚘 𝚔𝚒𝚗𝚍𝚜 𝚘𝚏 𝙳𝚊𝚍𝚍𝚢

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𝙱𝚞𝚌𝚔𝚢 𝙱𝚊𝚛𝚗𝚎𝚜 𝚡 𝚁𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚎𝚛

𝚁𝚎𝚚𝚞𝚎𝚜𝚝𝚎𝚍: ANON Hey you ❤️ Could I request an imagine with Bucky where you are his non-avenger girlfriend but you got really distant towards him lately as you found out you're pregnant and you're scared of his reaction? But then he finds out and is all happy and all other avengers are happy for you and insist on taking care of you and it's just all fluffy ? Thank you a lot ❤️

𝚆𝚊𝚛𝚗𝚒𝚗𝚐𝚜: really fluff smut 18+ (praise, daddy kink, slight mommy kink?, breeding kink, oral fem!rec, age gap, etc), slight angst, cw: mentions of eating disorders (no one has one but bucky thinks this)

𝙰𝚞𝚝𝚑𝚘𝚛’𝚜 𝙽𝚘𝚝𝚎𝚜: listen…. The idea of kids and having kids getting pregnant all that jazz, yeah. It fucking terrifies me! LOL! But nonetheless I really do see the appeal and sometimes i catch myself reading these kinds of fics so i really hope you like it anon! :)

PS: updates are going to slow down cuz i don’t have any drafts ready for upload and also things are a little crazy personally so yeah hope y’all understand :)

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“You like that baby?” Bucky groaned in your ear.

“Yes daddy! Oh my god,” you moaned.

“You’re being such a good little girl for your daddy. Fuck, daddy. You're gonna make me a daddy. I’m gonna come inside you and you’re gonna get all swollen and round with my baby. You want that? You wanna be a mommy; make me a daddy?” 

Bucky and you both expressed in the past that kids were something you both wanted but with Bucky still heavily involved with missions and the avengers, and you were in college studying to get a PhD in biomechanics and computer engineering, something that would let you understand and work with Bucky specifically very closely. You were too young to have a baby but that didn’t stop you from playing into fantasies of having a family with the man you were so in love with. 

“Daddy,” you moaned.

“Give it to me, baby,” you looked him into his eyes.

Bucky kissed you hard as you both came and after cleaning yourselves up you had showered together, ate dinner quickly, and soon went to bed. 

That was two months ago. 

Three weeks after that night, Bucky was gone for about two weeks on a mission with Steve. You and the girls were drinking wine but you opted out for the tempting glasses feeling nauseous that entire week. 

As a joke, the girls were saying you were pregnant but you were sure that you and Bucky were always cautious when having sex. It wasn’t a good time to have a baby. So you joked that all three of you should take a pregnancy test and when yours came out positive you freaked out. 

“Oh my god! Bucky’s gonna kill me!” you panicked.

“Hey, relax. It’s ok,” Nat comforted you.

“We can get through this. Now did Bucky explicitly say he doesn’t want kids?” Wanda asked.

“No, we both want kids it’s just, ugh, life is so fucking crazy right now and I’m still in school, Bucky’s going on missions all the time. It’s just not a good time to have a baby.”

“Ok think about it this; if life for us was normal, as boring as that is, would Bucky be upset if you were pregnant?” Nat reasoned.

“No, he would be so happy. He wants to be a dad, it’s just so sudden,” you said in distress.

“It’s always sudden with this situation. But what’s more important is that you have support. Whatever your decision is in the end we'll all support you, even Bucky,” Nat told you.

Bucky came back home and immediately knew that there was something that was upsetting you. You promised him that you were alright but you were conflicted. You tried to tell him, you really did, but there wasn’t a good time. 

One night Bucky tried to initiate sex when you two had the tower to yourselves. You were instantly distant with him afraid he’d take one look at your naked body and know you were pregnant and that freak you out. 

“Baby, are you ok?” Bucky asked that night.

“Yeah, I just don’t feel good,” you didn’t actually lie, the pregnancy did affect your appetite drastically and many foods you used to adore before were repulsive to you. 

“Oh ok, do you need anything?” he was concerned.

“No, I think I’m ok.”

Now present day, you and Bucky hadn’t had sex since. It’s been a little over two months and Bucky wasn’t frustrated per say but he missed you; he missed having his hands on your warm and soft skin. He missed the way you squirmed under him and the little whimpers you made. How good your walls felt as he thrusted in and out of you torturously slow. 

You two were in the kitchen sitting with some of the other team members. So far only Nat and Wanda knew about your pregnancy as hard as it was to not tell Vision or Steve or literally anyone. You stared at the breakfast sitting in front of you; it used to be your favorite but looking at it and smelling it was making you extremely nauseous. 

“Baby?” Bucky rubbed your back.

“Hm?”

“Why aren’t you eating? It’s your favorite,” he said.

“I’m not too hungry,” you said.

Bucky wasn’t convinced but because you were in front of other people he didn’t want you to feel embarrassed like a father scolding a teenager. His hand rested on your thigh and immediately felt your leg tense up. 

You retracted and stood up walking away without saying a word and Bucky was confused and followed you quickly shoving as much food in his mouth as he could and tossed his plate in the sink. 

“What’s going on with them?” Steve asked.

“Oh no are they gonna break up?” Sam asked with genuine concern, as much as he fucked around with Buck he did admire your relationship. You are really good for him and he loved you unconditionally.

“No, it’s just-” Wanda started.

“Wanda,” Nat warned. 

“I wasn’t going to say anything,” she rolled her eyes, “There fine. Y/n’s just not feeling well and she doesn’t want to be bothered.”

Bucky walked into your shared room and found you changing into yet another hoodie. That’s when he started piecing things together; or at least he thought. You were always wearing very big clothing and covering your body; that he thought was the most beautiful he’d ever laid eyes on. You were constantly nauseous and refused to eat even some of your favorites dishes and meals. You wouldn’t let him touch even though he’s initiated a couple of times.

“Y/n?” Bucky asked.

“What?” you played dumb.

“Y/n, what’s going on?”

“Nothing, I told you I don’t feel good.”

“That seems to be your excuse a lot.”

“What does that mean?” you asked.

“Y/n, be honest with me. Are you starving yourself?” he had tears in his eyes; he couldn’t even think about you doing this to yourself.

“What! Bucky no! I’m not, ugh, just,” you stuttered.

“What is going on, please tell me, baby?”

“I’m pregnant!”

Silence. Bucky was shocked. You were pregnant? How long? Why didn’t you tell him? 

“I’m so sorry, Buck,” you started crying.

“No, no, no, no, don’t cry babygirl,” Bucky hugged you tightly while you sobbed into his chest.

“I’m happy, I’m really happy and excited for us. We’re gonna be a family,” he smiled.

“You’re not mad?”

“Why would I be mad?”

“I don’t know, I know we talk about this and having a family but not now. I thought you’d be mad at me.”

“Well, I’m a bit bummed that you didn’t tell when you found out but no; I’m so happy. I love you from the bottom of my heart and I would do anything for you. I’m gonna be here every step of the way and we’re gonna get through this together, ok?”

“Ok,” you sniffled. 

“Are you ok? Do you need anything?” Bucky already started going into protective dad mode and he just found out.

“No I just need you,” you whispered. 

“God, I love you,” Bucky picked you up and laid you on the bed littering your face in kisses.

“Does anyone else know?” he asked you.

“Well, uh, the girls,” you said.

“You told the girls?”

“Well, they were drinking and i declined because I was feeling sick and they joked that I was pregnant so we all took pregnancy tests as a joke but mine came out positive. I took two more and they were all positive,” you started tearing up.

“Hey don’t cry, it’s ok.”

“Sorry,” you laughed.

“We’re gonna be ok, right baby?” he whispered.

“Yeah, I love you.”

Bucky leaned down again and pressed kisses to your neck making you giggle. His warm hands trailed under your shirt making your skin burst into chills. Bucky’s lips continued their assault on your neck and before you knew Bucky started lifting your sweater over your head.

You did the same to Bucky and your chests were pressed against each other instantly as he kissed you hard. Bucky trailed kisses down your body slowly, hands rubbing your skin softly, lips staying longer than usual around your stomach for obvious reasons. 

Bucky peeled your sweats from your body and didn’t hesitate to dive in. His tongue licking a long strip against your pussy. You moan softly and your hips wiggled under him. He pressed down on you to keep you from squirming but you were getting very close to your orgasm and it just felt too good. 

Bucky brought his fingers and circled your entrance before inserting a finger slowly. He looked up at you moaning at his fingers and this encouraged Bucky to insert another one. His fingers slipped in and out with ease with your arousal practically dripping from you. 

Bucky leaned forward and circled his tongue around your clit. The obsecene sounds of Bucky finger fucking you echoed in the room and you finallly climax, cumming all over his finger. Bucky crawled up your tired body after taking his pants and boxers off. 

Bucky didn’t bother putting a condom considering you’ve been his only partner the past couple years and he got you pregnant. He pumped his cock a few times before grabbing your legs to wrap around his waist and easily slipped between your folds. 

“Fuck, baby girl. You feel so good,” Bucky moaned in your ear.

“Oh shit, yes,” you whimpered.

“Oh you’re gonna be so beautiful when you're all big and swollen, shit. You’re gonna be the sexiest mommy in this whole fucking world.”

“Ugh! And you’re gonna be such a sexy daddy,” you smirked and cupped his face.

He leaned down and kissed you passionately. He thrusted into you harder and your back arched into his chest, moaning high pitched and loudly. Your hands tugged on his hair and Bucky groaned in your mouth. 

“Oh Buck, I’m gonna come,”you said against his lips.

“Let go, baby. Come for me, mommy,” Bucky said. 

You came hard; your body contracted and trembled, your stomach tightened, your toes curled, and your legs pulled Bucky deep inside you, hot spurts of his cum coating your walls. Bucky settled on you but bounced back afraid he was crushing the baby.

He went to the bathroom, well practically sprinted, and returned with a warm towel to clean you up. Your body laid still while you were cleaned and you just watched Bucky with adoration. He left again and returned wearing boxers and held a bottle of your favorite lotion that you usually saved for special nights or for Tony’s parties.

You smiled and got comfortable as Bucky poured some lotion in his hand. His hands spread the lotion evenly on your body; thumbs skimming your sensitive nipples, gently caresses all over your stomach, teasing grazes along your inner thighs. You closed your eyes and felt euphoria. 

The love of your life was really pampering you and you felt so good. 

“I love you,” you whispered.

“I love you, too,” Bucky kissed your forehead, crawling into the bed with you.

“Let’s stay in all day. My girl is pregnant and she’s gonna need all the rest she can get,” Bucky joked.

“But what about-”

“No, who cares,” bucky interrupted.

“But-”

“No buts.”

“What are we gonna tell the rest of the team?”

“Oh, well. It’s your body, your comfort. You tell them when you feel it’s best. But I do hope it’s soon because I’m so happy and I don’t think i'd be able to keep this a secret for long,” Bucky dived his head in your neck making you laugh.

“Ok,” you whispered.

“Man, I’m gonna be a dad,” Bucky sighed happily.

“You’re gonna be daddy,” you said innocently.

“I’m already your daddy,” he playfully growled.

“Then you’re gonna be two types of daddy,” you smirked.

“Two types of daddy.”

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TAGLIST:

@mathletemadison 

[notaclassicist]

hmm interesting... yeah i get what you mean with the roman thing -- as far as i know the greeks were a little more accepting of homosexual relationships than the romans (i've done a LOT more research on the roman side, wherein all extramarital affairs are forbidden except in the case of like slave abuse), so it's definitely possible that ganymede's image was older in the greek style -- which would also make sense considering the romans for some reason love to make their gods into babies (see cupid and occasionally bacchus). whereas hyacinthus isn't really "worshipped" per se by the romans so that could be why his statues/paintings are usually depicting an older guy? it definitely also helps that apollo himself presents as a young man (beardless, etc.), so it's not *really* an erastes/eromenos couple in the traditional sense, whereas zeus always looks like a 40 year old man in his statues. apollo very well may have been the same physical age as hyacinthus. obviously there's still a power dynamic, but it's not really based in age.

even without considering the age thing, i have to say i still prefer hyacinthus's myth to ganymede and think that zeus deserves to be "attacked"/villainized more in this myth because, like you said, ganymede is explicitly kidnapped by zeus and is unable to see his family pretty much ever again. therefore, even if he isn't a child, the relationship is explicitly nonconsensual. i also really dislike how so many people glorify persephone and hades because no matter how you slice it, he did kidnap her. whereas with hyacinthus he seems to have some degree of free will in the relationship.

either way, i'm curious to see what you're cooking up in your version! it seems you'll be changing some things around so i'm excited to see the possibilities of how you're going to present zeus's character :)))

(also sorry if my first reblog sounded sarcastic lol i didn't mean any offense to OP in particular)

If you hate how looked the tatoos in your Apollo's design, then don't let them... Is your design, don't need to convince others people...

i love how he looks, i found it very interesting and i glad you focused more in his "light and art" aspect (and the detail of the blood for the medicine).

Is your design, you don't need to add things or details that you don't like just because of some asks...

KKKKKKKKKKKKKK sorry sorry, its hard to say what I want in english!! I like how he looks, but I dislike how many times people was asking me to just draw him (they never asked for the tatoos!!).

The thing is: I hate characters with tatoos like this, that is a hole body pattern, its tiring to draw. I just put it bc looks nice and have propose, but mostly because is my way to make him less apealling to me to draw him oftem. Its just me being imature and playing with him.

I also have a big pride problem, so I totally dont do aything I dont want to. In the end Apolo is a god I want to explore, but bc of how people re kinda hypocrate to be mad at Zeus and Ganimedes but not as much with Apolo and Jacinto(Hyacinthus), I'm on a fase dont like Apolo that much, I decide to do him good but with a detail that will make me remember how I'm now.