#well no one besides me of course because of my 3am brain laughing at literally everything lmaooo

[mrs-gauche]

Since BioWare pretty much confirmed that they won't be at the Game Awards this year, I guess I'm now watching this show for one thing and one thing only

[moondustis]

perfect crime (m)

pairing: jung jaehyun + reader / seo johnny + reader genre: smut, angst word count: 6,8k summary:  There’s two rules when you start a no-strings kind of relationship: 1. Don’t fall in love and 2. Don’t make it into something bigger than it is. And well, let’s just say you were not the best at following rules. song recs: perfect crime - tinashe / triggered - jhené aiko / break my heart - dua lipa 

Here’s the thing, you and Jung Jaehyun are not dating.

It’s actually far from that. The two of you just happened to hook up one night, then that became another night and now his number on your phone is what you call when you need a little body heat sometimes. So there, you both are just friends with benefits, if you will. Maybe not even friends, acquaintances with benefits would be a better way to describe it.

And here’s another thing. Maybe, just maybe. Like really, hypothetically speaking, you are falling in love with Jaehyun. Which is the number one rule not to break when you get involved in things like that, but it seems like your brain doesn’t work very well when Jaehyun is fucking you and it just mistakes his caring way of eating you out with something else.

But it’s fine, you’re a big girl, who knows how to deal and conceal your big girl feelings. It’s not like you’re going to do something drastic like confess to him or dye your hair pink at 3AM while listening to Beyonce sing about her cheating husband and feel like you too have been cheated.

It’s fine.

☾

“Your hair looks good like this.” Jaehyun whispers on your ear, sending shivers all over your body. “Pink suits you.”

Weird thing to say when he’s balls deep inside of you, but your heart and pussy seem to enjoy it because it makes you clench around him. “Oh.” You dumbly say, fingers gripping the sheets on his bed as he gives you a nice thrust. “T-Thanks.”

He’s good at this, like really good. And it helps that he has the biggest cock you had ever seen. He moves his hips faster, and the sounds of skin slapping makes your head spin. “Fuck. You feel so good, baby. Taking me so well.” His voice is raspy as he nuzzles at your jaw, pressing open mouthed kisses all over it.

“Yes — Yes. Please” You pant as his hands move down your sides, one just lingering on your chest. “Feel so full.”

He likes when you say shit like that because he knows how big he is. Has asked you to say it many times before. “Yeah?” One hand moves down, pressing at your navel and he gives you an insane look. “Feel me here? On your tummy?”

You nod, feeling so close to your high and it just gets better when he presses his thumb to your clit, circling fast on it. He seems close too, by the way his thrusts are getting erratic.

“Fuck, fuck. I’m gonna cum.” He moans and you raise your hips, chasing your own release. You’re so close, so close. Almost there. “Fuck, Yerim.”

It’s like a bucket of cold water has been dropped on you. You watch as Jaehyun comes inside the condom, his eyes shutting closing and lips parting. You just stand there, frozen and feeling extremely small.

“What the fuck.” You whisper, slowly getting out of the shock of what just happened. “What the FUCK?”

“What?” He asks just as he pulls out of you, pulling his underwear up like he has no clue that he just said someone else’s name while fucking you.

You get up, now angry with the blood in your system just starting to boil. “Are you fucking kidding me?” You search for your underwear on the floor, pulling it up, followed by your pants. “Who the fuck is Yerim?”

“What the fuck are you - Oh.” He finally realizes what he’s done, giving you a pathetic look that makes you livid. “Shit. I’m sorr-“

“Yeah, shit.” You roll your eyes. Is he dumb? Does he really think this is something a simple sorry can fix? You put on your shirt and move to grab your purse and keys. “This — Whatever this is — It’s over now.

He finally takes action, getting up from the bed and trying to touch you but you walk away. “Wait —“

“You’re an asshole, you know that? I don’t care that you are fucking other people.” Yes, you do. “But saying their name while you’re fucking me is a bit too much.”

He looks like a fish out of water, mouth opening and closing as he looks for the right words to say.

“Don’t fucking call me again.” Is the last thing you say before you are slamming the door shut.

Maybe this time you’ll just shave off your head completely.

☾

You don’t actually end up shaving your head. In fact, you get over the whole thing pretty fast. And Jaehyun, being such a nice guy, helps by not calling you even once just as you asked him to. Probably because he was too busy fucking Yerim, or whatever her name was.

Ok, maybe you weren’t that over it yet, but you were getting there.

“Aaaaargh.” You grunt out of nowhere, throwing yourself in the couch both your roommates are lounging around. Anne, a girl you had met on your first year of college and instantly clicked with, looks at you like you are crazy.

“Can you stop doing that? It’s the third time today you just make an weird noise out of nowhere.” She points out and Jisoo, the other roommate and biggest scorpio you had ever met, hums in agreement.

Your whine is childish and you would feel bad for bothering your friends, but right now what you need is for them to feel bad for you. “Please have some respect for my suffering. Your fake sniffles does nothing to them. “I just really need someone to dick me down, okay? Or else I’ll go crazy.”

“Dickpression.” Jisoo says and you almost laugh. She was right. “You need to stop being dramatic, for starters.”

“Why don’t you just call Jaehyun or whatever his name was?” Anne says and you gasp at the same time Jisoo lets out a hiss. Anne wasn't present when you had went on a little spiral about how he was the worst guy in the planet and how you never wanted anything to do with him ever again.

“Oh my god, Anne! Are you dumb?” A great friend, Jisoo was. “He cheated on her, let’s not say his name in our sacred space ever again.”

“He didn’t cheat on me.” It sure felt like it to you but you knew it was far from the reality. You weren’t dating or anything, he just happened to make a mistake that broke your heart. Things like this happened.

“Girl, he said someone else’s name while fucking you.” Jisoo says. “That’s cheating to me.”

You just shrug, not really wanting to have this conversation anymore. Just after the whole thing had happened, you had took some time to do some internal thinking and realized that your feelings for Jaehyun were stupid and you should just move on already. Easier said than done, of course. But so far you hadn’t cried once and you sure didn’t want to because your friends were validating your feelings.

“Well, whatever. That’s the past now.” That earns you a little ‘yes, girl’ from your friends. “We need to focus on my present situation and how I’m going to go crazy if I don’t get some action.”

You really were being dramatic. It had only been what, two weeks or so, and you and your roommates knew well enough that you had gone longer than that without it. You were not horny but you were bored, and that was dangerous enough by itself. But you were also heartbroken and a little thirsty for revenge, so that was just key for making bad decisions.

Anne bites on her nail, forehead a little creased as if she's in deep thought. That probably won't go well. “I think that what you really need is not dick. What you need is to go out with your friends and have some fun. ” She starts and you raise one eyebrow at her. “Get a little crazy, ya know? Put on a slutty dress and maybe flash your ass a bit in a sketchy club with your girlfriends.” 

She says the whole thing in a weird voice, making you laugh. “What’s this, some sort of intervention?” 

Jisoo laughs too, throwing a pillow at Anne. “Please don't start going on about how friends are more important than sex.” 

“First of all, they are. Gals before balls, or whatever.” She laughs at her own jokes. “But, for real. We could really go out. And if you still want some action I can hook you up with someone.”

Now that could go very wrong. Your past experiences with any of Anne’s friends had been awful, for starters. She just had some weird dudes on her friend circle and you weren't trying to get with a weird guy with a foot fetish again. “Like who?” You ask, skeptically. 

Jisoo watches the whole conversation, amusement on her face like she’s watching a soap opera. “I don't know, man.” Anne throws her hands around. “Johnny is a nice guy, mayb-”

“Oh my god, no fucking way.” You exclaim just as Jisoo jumps in excitement and yells her agreement. 

“That would be so good.” She says and you get a pillow to muffle your screams. 

“Why? What am I missing?” Anne asks.

“Johnny is literally Jae -- He’s the cheater’s best friend. That’s such a good idea.” That makes Anne clap excitedly like a child and you sigh loudly. 

“Is it? Is it really a good idea? Like, I’m sure I would be a really bad person if I used that poor guy like that.” You really would. Things were not messy right now but they sure would be if you started involving people that had nothing to do with it into the situation. On the other hand, you really would like to make Jaehyun at least a little bit upset.

You eye Anne as she grabs her phone and starts typing at ii suspiciously. “It wouldn’t, babe. You’ll just go to a party with a nice guy, have some fun and maybe make out with him a bit.” Jisoo says, moving closer to you to rub your arm affectionately. If you hadn't mentioned before, she was a really good friend. “Besides, you don’t have to do anything with him if you don’t absolutely want to. And if you do, then it will be for yourself not because you want to make some guy jealous.” 

She made a point. “And I just texted Johnny and he said he’s down for it, so there’s no going back now.” Anne deadpans and you let out a mini scream. 

“What the fuck, are you crazy? What did you say to him?” Snatching the phone out of her hand, you read the conversation she just had with him.

Anne: 

hey johnny

what’s up?

Johnny (from Chemistry 101):

heyyy 

nothing much wbu?

this text was a lil unexpected lmao

Anne: 

i know lol sorry

i just wanted to talk to you abt something

theres this friend of mine, ___. 

shes really down lately and i just want her to have some fun, u know?

You playfully punch her in the arm. “You asshole, I’m not down. You made me sound sad and desperate.”

“You were literally screaming about dick not ten minutes ago.”

You scoff. “Whatever.”

Anne: 

so i was wondering if you would like to meet her and take her out this weekend

i heard lee taeyong is throwing a party

Johnny (from Chemistry 101): 

okay...

that really came out of nowhere lol

Anne: 

lol ik 

but i promise you shes really cool

heres a picture for reference ;)

*attached picture*

Your friend was really selling you out like that. And that wasn't even a good picture. 

Johnny (from Chemistry 101): 

oooh damn

lmao

ok, give me her number :) 

“That was awful.” You hand her the phone back, throwing yourself back onto the couch with a deep whine. How would you even face this poor dude, you had no clue. Maybe you were a little fucked. 

“Stop being ungrateful, I just got you a hot date.” Anne says getting up and high fiving Jisoo. “Now who wants to order some pizza rolls?” 

What can you do but raise your hand in defeat. 

☾

When friday comes all you want to do is hide yourself inside your room and never come out again. 

Johnny had texted you that same day and, for your complete agony, he was really nice. Like, really nice. The type of people that within a week of texting already made you comfortable enough to share an inside joke with. And that would be great, amazing, fantastic, because you had a date with this man that was funny, nice and looked extremely hot. And was probably packing, but that’s beside the point. That would all be great if you didn’t feel like complete shit for using him. 

And yes, ok, you weren't exactly using him. Maybe just a little. But it still made you feel bad. 

But you were a big girl, you could do this even if you had to listen to your girl power playlist while you put on your ‘slutty dress’ and applied gemstones to the end of your liner, like you were about to star in Euphoria or some shit. And your friends hype you up, giving you that extra confidence you were lacking so that when you walk out the house you feel like you truly are the hot girl Megan Thee Stallion was talking about. 

Well, that lasts for about 20 minutes, which was the duration of the drive to Taeyong’s house. You go literally weak in the knees when you see Johnny standing outside the house where you both agreed to meet up. 

“I can’t do this.” You say because he looks so good, even looking down at his phone to entertain himself while you didn't arrive. And he was so tall, like probably a good head taller than you and if that wasn't the hottest thing you didn't know what it was.  

“Yes, you can.” Anne says, patting your butt and giving you a sweet smile. “Now go get him and make that bitch pay.” 

So you go, legs shaking a bit when Johnny gives you a big smile as he spots you. How long would it take for you to fuck this up, you wonder.

He hugs you like you were long time friends when you come close enough and you almost sigh from how good he smells. “You look good.” He compliments and you almost melt, head going a bit blank when you feel his hand on your waist. 

“Oh, thank you.” The laugh you let out could only be described as awkward but he doesn't seem to notice. “You don’t look so bad yourself.” That was good. Smooth, carefree even. You let him lead you inside the party, hand still in your lower back as he basically towers over you. 

You feel overwhelmed the moment you step inside the house. There’s not many people, but enough to make it feel like the place is almost too crowded and the song playing is so loud that you cringe. You run your eyes through the room and when you spot the kitchen you drag Johnny by the hand, wanting to get there as fast as possible. You don't notice you haven't even thought about Jaehyun for that short amount of time. 

“Let’s get drunk!” You exclaim when you both enter the kitchen and that makes Johnny laugh.

“Alright.” You feel his eyes on the back of your head as you pour the two of you not one, not two, but three shots of tequila each. “Not wasting any time are you?”

“Nope.” You emphasize the ‘p’, dipping your hand in the salt bowl and licking it before you offer the bowl for him and he does the same. His eyes don't leave yours as he licks the white substance and that makes you nervous for some reason. You shake the thoughts by grabbing your shot and raising one eyebrow at him. “Ready?” 

“Let’s do this.” Is his answer and then you are both downing the first shot, grimacing before moving to the next and by the third one you are already laughing, barely being able to bite onto the lemon Johnny holds out for you. 

You look directly at him, mischief in your eyes, when you finally bite the lemon, sucking of it before the sour taste fills your mouth. He laughs when you let go and your face contorts. “Stop laughing at me.” You playfully laugh, poking  your tongue out at him. 

“I’m sorry, I just thought you would handle it better.” He teases. “Suggested doing three shots right away, after all. 

“I just wanted us to let loose, that’s all.” You justify and he hums in agreement. “Want tonight to be really fun.” 

“It will be.” Then he’s holding your hand and pulling you out the kitchen.

It turns out to really be fun. You get drunk pretty fast after the tequila shots and Johnny is so funny that you laugh at almost everything he says. He talks about what he’s studying, about how he detests chemistry and how he almost lost his hair when he tried to bleach it. And he doesn’t mind when you interrupt him when a song you love starts playing and you have to dance to it. 

You let yourself go when you two start dancing, his hands on your waist as you do whatever your drunk body wants to. It’s nice, not thinking about anything but the song that is playing and you enjoy it, swaying your hips and even singing some of the lyrics. It’s really fun, until your eyes focus on something you really didn’t want to see. 

Jung Jaehyun, standing on a wall with some friends that you don’t know around him. He’s wearing a black t-shirt and you can see the silver of his necklace from how low the neckline is. He has a drink on his hand and his friend seems to be excitedly talking about something, but he’s paying him no mind because his eyes are on you. His eyes are on you and your head suddenly starts spinning. 

How long had he been there for? Did he see you basically grinding against Johnny, who happened to be his best friend? Was he jealous? Was he angry? If he did and if he was, that meant your plan worked. You gotten your sweet revenge. But why didn’t you feel happy?

“You okay?” Johnny’s voice snaps you out of your little trance and just then you realize you had stopped dancing. 

You nod your head maybe too fast. “Yeah, sure. I’m peachy.” He gives you a puzzled look, hand brushing a strand of your hair that had fallen into your eyes. You hate how sweet the gesture was. “What about you?”

He smiles at that. It’s easy to make him do that, you realize. “I’m good. Want to drink something?” 

“No, it’s fine.” You reply, speaking your next words without really thinking. “I actually gotta find my friend, Jisoo. To make sure she’s okay and all.” 

Johnny’s probably too understanding for his own good. He lets you go that easily, saying he too will go find his friends and that the two of you can meet later on. It’s so easy it’s pathetic. 

You move from the dancing and drunk bodies until you’re standing in an empty corridor and you let your back hit the wall as you try your hardest not to sink to the floor in frustration. You were dumb, that’s what you really were because you knew exactly what would happen now. 

He finds you easily, probably had been watching you from the moment you walked away. “Fancy seeing you here.” His voice is low as he approaches you, eyes searching for yours and you want to slap his face when they meet.

You snort. “Is it really?”

He just shrugs, offering you his cup and you eye it suspiciously. “Want some?” He asks and you shake your head. 

“What is it?” What you really want to ask is why he’s being so nice and why is he acting like everything is fine between the two of you.

 “Orange juice.” Is the clever reply he gives you and you would laugh in other circumstances, you really would. Because you liked boosting his ego, liked seeing his smile when someone appreciates his jokes.

“You’re not funny.” Is what you decide to say.

He raises his eyebrows, probably not expecting that reaction. “Damn, okay.” He looks uncomfortable, uncertain and that is a high contrast to the bubble of confidence he usually appears to be. The first time he met you, he talked to you like he knew you would fuck him by the end of the night. Not in a cocky way, but in a way that made you actually want to do it more. That’s gone now.

“What do you want, Jaehyun?” It’s a genuine question. He had followed you for a reason, you both knew that.

He looks down, almost in a shy manner and it makes you feel inadequate for some reason. “Just wanted to talk to you, I guess. it's been a while.” He mutters lowly. “Kinda miss you.”

Lies. What does he miss exactly? Talking to you? Unlikely because of all the things you did together, talking was not on top of the list. Your body? Sex? Couldn't be, because apparently he could get it  with plenty other people.

“Well, that's too bad.” You reply bitterly. “Besides, I don’t really feel like talking to you right now.” 

He looks genuinely hurt at that but only for a moment and you almost feel bad for it. Almost. “Come on, don’t be so mean to me. Im sorry, okay?” His voice drops even lower as he comes closer to you. Risky thing to do, in your opinion. “What I did was stupid. But you can be mad at me forever, we weren't even dating.”

“Thank god.” You mutter and he rolls his eyes at that. He’s standing very close to you know, hovering above you as you can see every detail of his face. Can smell the perfume you like so much and it makes your head spin.

“It's not like I cheated on you.” His voice is completely defeated. That’s far from the right thing to say and he knows that too. 

“You really are an asshole. I told you before i don't — didn't — care if you fuck other girls.” You hiss, avoiding his eyes. “But what you did was the awful. You made me — You broke my heart“

“I know and I'm sorry, how many times do i have to say it?” He does sound sorry, you’ll give him that. “Come on, can’t we just be good again, baby?” 

Maybe that’s the moment it all goes down. Maybe it was already over from the moment you saw him staring at you. 

“I don't know, Jaehyun.” But you do know and for a moment you just stare at him like he’s staring at you, wonder if there’s want in your eyes like there is in his. You stare at his lips before he talks again. 

“I like these things on your eyes.” He always hits you with the most random compliments that make you go weak in the knee.

“Please don’t say things like that.” You whine and hit him lightly on the chest. That makes him smile and you wish it didn’t. 

“Why not?” He asks teasingly. 

“You know why.” He knows, he really knows. That’s why he moves his head down just a little so that he can press at kiss at your cheek. 

You should push him away right now. That would be the smart thing to do. The right thing to do. Johnny was probably somewhere looking for you right now, and here you were, letting Jung Jaehyun make you a fool out of yourself again. You should be angry, mad, not putty in his hand. 

“Tell me this, baby.” He whispers against your ear and you feel small. So small he could just grab you in his hand. “Did you come with Johnny to make me mad? Huh? Don't lie to me.”

“I didn’t.” Yes you did and your plan had worked apparently. But not in the way you expected. “The world doesn't revolve around your dick, you know.” 

He laughs lowly. “Really? Because I think you did. Dancing all around him like you knew I would be watching.” He tsks, voice is smug and you wish he would just end your suffering. “You don't have to do that baby. I already want you enough.”

“You’re evil, Jaehyun.” Is all you manage to say, voice slurred. “I can’t think straight when I’m around you.” 

All you can think about is how you want to kiss him right now, and he seems to be thinking the same thing. “You know you don’t have to think at all. I got you.” He murmurs against your skins, lips pressing on your jaw, kissing your face until he stops at your lips and they immediately part for them. 

One of your hands slips to the back of his hair then, closing the distance between you two. It’s a slow, languid kiss and you can taste the alcohol from his lips. Or maybe it’s from yours, but you couldn’t care less right now.  His hand holding your face is what keeps you grounded, because the feels of his tongue sliding against yours in opened mouth kisses could kill you right now. 

When you part from the kiss you’re both breathing heavily and his hands stay in your cheeks. “I want you so bad. Always want you.” He says, voice raspy. And who were you to deny him of that when you wanted him just as much. 

☾

He was onto you the moment you stepped inside his room. Lips attached to your neck as you kept a vice grip on his hair, letting him know how much you were liking it. Usually Jaehyun took his time, building you up until you were begging, but tonight he seems to be the desperate one, with the way he grips your thighs, trying to push you closer to him and onto the bed at the same time.

You fall into the bed with a huff, him right on top of you and he continued his work on your neck. Tilting your head to give him more access, you feel the slide of his teeth on your sensitive skin and it makes you let out a moan. He continues doing that for a while, pressing kisses all over your and removing your dress while at it for better access. You give in easily, of course you do. 

“Do you want me?” He asks suddenly, voice muffled on your neck and you nod desperately.

“Yes. Yes, please.” You sound needy, pathetic. You are sure he loves it. He bites your neck after your reply, hands holding your thighs so he could scoop you up in the bed and your legs curl around his waist. 

You watch as he moves to remove his shirt and unbutton his jeans and you follow his lead by removing your own bra, biting your lips after throwing it somewhere in the room. 

He wastes no time in diving in your chest, licking one of your nipples before he starts sucking on it, making you arch your back underneath him like you’re asking for more. When his teeth close around it you let out a loud whine that makes him smirk against your skin. “Always so fucking loud for me.” He mutters and you can only reply with incoherent words. 

He kisses you again then, this time slower, with your mouths parting as he slides his tongue against your teeth before he’s sucking on your bottom lip. He moves his hips against yours in a slow grind, as if to test the waters, and your mind goes blank at the feeling of him hard against you. Fingers raking on his back, you try to bring him closer to you, as if that was possible. 

“Are you wet? Hmm?” He whispers against your jaw and you can only nod. As if to check, he presses two fingers on your clothed core. The way you have soaked through the cotton of your panties seems to be confirmation enough because he removes them, followed by his own underwear. 

Back on you, he drags his middle finger to your slit to your clit, circling it in a torturing way. He inhales deep when you whine against his lips. “Jaehyun.” His name falls from your lips in complete surrender. 

He presses one last fervent kiss to your lips? “Do you want it? — Fuck — Please, tell me.” His voice is strained as his hardness slides through your lower lips and you try to press him closer with your calves on his hips. “Please.”

“I want it - Jesus, I want it so bad.” Is all he needs to hear. In a blur, you watch him reach for his bedside table and retrieve a condom. You watch as he slides it on and then squeezes his cock in his fist trying to calm himself down.

He guides himself to your entrance, pushing the tip inside and your head spins, making you moan loudly. “That’s it. Take me, Baby — Fucking hell — That’s it.” 

it’s pure bliss when he bottoms out, you sighing from how full you feel and him grunting deeply in his chest. His hands immediately grips at your hips and he gives you the first thrust, hard and deep. 

He only gets rougher, each trust hitting you deeper than the last as his hips moves against yours. It’s when he whines against your mouth and brings a thumb to your clit that you know he won’t last long. “So fucking tight, god.” He hisses. “Taking me so well. You always take me well.” 

You bask in the praise, and with another thrust you’re coming all over him, squeezing him in and legs pushing him even deeper. “Oh, fuck.” You almost yell and he swallows it with his lips.

In a moment he’s coming too, with a low grunt and what you think is your name falling from his lips. You can feel him pulsing inside you when his forehead knocks against yours. This was probably the fastest any of you had ever reached your release with each other and you weren’t sure what that meant. 

Closing your eyes as he pulls out, you try not to think about it.

☾

You wake up with a headache and an ache between your legs. When you open your eyes, the surroundings are familiar and it only makes your head hurts even more. You remember every single thing that happened. 

Just as you sit up in the bed, Jaehyun walks in with a plate of what you think is sliced fruit and a glass of water that he hands you. “Morning.” His voice is raspy and his face is puffy, meaning he hasn't been awake for long. 

“Morning.” You reply, voice barely coming out so you down the glass of water before speaking again. “What time is it?” 

“It’s almost 3pm. We slept a lot” You mutter a little ‘fuck’ as he sits next to you in the bed and it feels weird to be here, unnatural. You had never stayed over before and it shows on how neither of you know how to act. “Here, I cut some apple for you. Might help if you’re feeling sick.”

Now that’s sweet. Too sweet for the occasion. “Thanks.” You take the plate from him, picking one slice and biting into it. It’s silence for a minute, only your chewing and the fan sound filling the room. You try not to think about anything, or else you would have a panic attack right away.

He clears his throat suddenly and you brace yourself. “About what you said in the party. I didn't mean to.” His voice is barely a whisper as he stares at you. “Break your heart I mean.”

You mutter a little oh, slice of apple falling from your grip. There’s nothing you think of saying, so you just stare back at him. He’s really beautiful, and you had noticed before of course, but right now fresh out of bed and unguarded he looks almost angelic. 

“But I can't give you what you want.” He continues and each word feels like a punch in your chest. “I'm not ready to be anyone's boyfriend.”

“Okay. I can understand that.” Your response is flat, dry.

His eyes soften at that. “It’s okay if you hate me.” 

“I don't.” That’s a lie at the same time it’s not and he gives you a look because he knows that too.” Okay, maybe a little bit.” 

He gives you a sweet smile that only makes you heart ache more and you place the plate he gave you on the bedside table before getting up.

“We can still be friends.” He says while you’re getting dressed.

You cringe at his words. How naive of him to think like that. “We are not friends, Jaehyun.” Your voice is small, not wanting to hurt him even though he just did that to you. “ And… I don't think I want us to be.” 

“Ok.” Is the only thing he says.

“Ok.” You mimic, before you’re walking away.

☾

The walk of shame is, thankfully, better than the rest of it all. You walk the whole way from Jaehyun’s dorm to yours in complete silence and without a thought in your head. It’s nice not thinking about anything, because these days it seems like your mind won’t let you catch a break. There’s always something in your head, how you need to raise your GPA and how you might fail a class or two, the uncertain thought of maybe not being able to find a job after you graduate. And finally, the one that makes you stay up at night, the excruciating thought of not being good enough for anything or anyone. That’s the one that makes you stay up at night staring at the ceiling as your insides eat you alive and the one that makes it hurt just a little more that Jung Jaehyun doesn't want you. 

But you don’t think about that at all. Not until you reach your house.

When you open the door you are met with emptiness and silence, and for now you’re thankful for it. You check your phone just in case, as you drop your things in the kitchen counter, and are not surprised to be met with 10 phone calls, 2 of them being from Johnny and a crazy amount of texts. 

You only open the chat with your roomates, quickly going through their messages of worry and sending them one back reassuring you were ok and had just gotten home. After that you shut your phone down, moving silently to the bathroom. 

The cold water of the shower manages to wake you up from your daze. Taking a deep breath as the water streams hit your back, you think back to the conversation. If that could be called a conversation at all. He did most of the talking, like he had it all planned out on his head. And it was so sudden, so quick that you think he probably wanted it to be over fast, like ripping off a bandaid. 

But it was better like this. You wonder if you would have said anything you regretted if you had stayed longer. You shut your eyes tightly. 

You hadn’t cried about it yet. You probably wouldn’t, didn’t really feel like it. This isn't even heartbreak, if you are being honest with yourself, this is just a bruise to your ego, that the target of your infatuation didn't reciprocate your shallow feelings. And it hurts, of course it does but there’s ways to fix it. 

When you get out of the shower and finish drying yourself you realize that you don’t want to be alone at the moment. You think of calling your friends, but they wouldn’t rest until you had spilled every single detail and you weren't ready to do that yet. 

Your thumb hovers the number that had texted you five times yesterday. The first two asking of your whereabouts and the last ones asking if you were okay, and to text him. You don’t hesitate before pressing on the call button. 

It rings three times before he picks up. “___. Hi.” His voice is sweet, even after what you did. 

“Hi, Johnny. I’m sorry for not calling earlier, I just passed out when I got home.” You give a little chuckle, trying to hide your nervousness. 

“Oh, that’s fine. Are you okay, thought? You disappeared last night and then Anne texted me asking if I knew where you were.” It’s an awful feeling knowing you made your friends worried, but you would fix it. You always did.

“Yeah, I’m okay. Sorry about all that.” Your clear your throat before asking the next question. “I was kinda wondering If I could come over… I can bring food, to make it up to you.” 

And he says yes, of course he does. So you get ready, buy the chinese takeout he said he liked and in an hour you’re standing outside his house. 

“Hey, there.” He greets you with the same warmth he did yesterday. Only this time he looks more laid back, with a white t-shirt and sweatpants. It’s a good look. “You’re a savior, I was starving.” 

He takes the food from your hands and you laugh, walking inside his dorm and taking it in. It looks nice and you wish you were here in different circumstances, that you had taken time to actually get to know him instead of rushing everything to fulfill your own ego. “Are you hangover?” You try and make small talk while he gets the utensils he needs before gesturing to the couch in the middle of the room, and you take a seat. 

“Not really. Didn’t drink much after you left.” He places the food on the small table in front of you, opening the lids and you suddenly realize how hungry you were. “Are you?” 

“Nope.” You reply. You only had a headache, but you doubt that was from a hangover. 

“Then one beer won’t kill us.” He jokes, placing the beers he had retrieved from the fridge before finally sitting beside you on the couch. 

You start eating after that, both of you too hungry to talk about anything but Johnny keeps you entertained and you are not surprised to see he’s just as nice as he was yesterday. 

Only when the food is gone and Johnny is cracking open his second beer you decide to say something about what happened. 

“Listen, I’m sorry about last night. I got caught up with a friend and you know, had to help her out.” The lies comes easy and you feel bad, but the truth would be far worst. “I really did have a good time, though. Before I left.” 

He takes a sip before he’s smiling at you. “It’s fine, don’t worry. Shit like this happens.” You stare at his face. It’s impossible that he’s real, with his pretty face and understanding words. “And I had a good time too, was just a bit sad that I didn’t get to even kiss you.” 

That surprises you and you blush at his words. You knew he was at least a bit attracted to you and in the end, wasn't this the reason you had called him asking to come over in the first place? Isn't this what you wanted, a bit company? But you didn't expect him to be the one initiating it. 

You gulp down the lump on your throat. “W-We have time now, though. Don’t we?” 

He just laughs, nodding before he’s kissing you. It’s a slow, tentative kiss and he holds you by the back of your neck. He pressed his lips against yours, before he’s pulling at your bottom lip and you grip at his t-shirt. You’re impatient, trying to lick at his lips to get him to part them but doesn't let you have your fun. 

He just moves your head to his liking, kissing you deeper and your grip on his t-shirt gets tighter as your try to get him closer to you. 

He chuckles from your desperate ministrations, and you wonder when you had become this person, that is greedy and pathetically needy. That wants things to move fast so you don’t have time to think about Jaehyun. “Easy, angel.” Johnny mutters against your lips. “We have time, remember?” 

You just nod, trying to wrap your mind around that fact. You take a deep breath and start again. 

Maybe this time you would get things right.

----

a/n: thank you so much for reading! i hope you enjoyed it and if you did you can tell me here or support me by buying me a coffee here! 

[solange-lol]

i don't need three bars to tell me we're meant to connect

words: 1,997

AUctober day 21: academia

read on ao3

—

There’s a boy in Will’s Intro to Writing class, and Will is in love with him.

Maybe love isn’t the right word, but he’s definitely encased by this guy. He has dark hair, dark eyes, and he’s way smarter than everyone in the class which is something Will can seriously respect.

Every day at 2pm he logs on, never really quite sure what’s going on in the class because he’s too curious about what he’s wearing or if Will can get some sort of idea as to who his roommate is. 

In a normal circumstance, Will would consider maybe introducing himself, or at least trying to catch this kid at the dining hall. For now, though, he’s stuck staring at him through his tiny computer screen.

This whole Zoom class thing limits what he can learn about this kid, especially since he only has two things hung up in the background of his call: a pride flag and a poster for a card game Will has never seen.

All Will can know about him, for now, is his name is Nico, he’s gay, and he’s really, really hot. 

Which is enough for him to already be falling.

And by some ungodly power, his friends already knew, too.

Will’s roommate, Connor Stoll, probably figured out the day he just so happened to walk past Will’s desk just as the blonde had pinned Nico’s screen to his computer (he was just trying to get a better look at what his shirt said.)

“Stalker much?” had been the only thing he remarked. Of course, less than a week later and he was already getting advice on how to ask Nico out from Connor and his boyfriend, Mitchell.

“I don’t even know him,” Will points out, to which Connor responds with, “You know him enough to care about what’s written on his shirt.”

He rolls his eyes. “That was a one time thing.”

“Trust me, Will. If I managed to get this one to ask me out, I think you can ask out someone,” Mitchell said, slugging Connor lightly in the shoulder who only nods proudly.

When that hadn’t turned out to be much helpful (Will isn’t exactly the best at just doing things,) he opts to ask Lou Ellen and Cecil, the two kids he had met in the first week of classes

They had been introduced when the teacher put them in breakout rooms to get to know each other in small groups. Will knew both already vaguely: Lou was also in his Chemistry class, and Cecil lived on his floor.

The three ended up bonding over their shared love of Star Wars and inevitably made a group chat together to share homework answers for the class or discuss whatever the weekly drama was that they were able to catch bits and pieces of. Turns out life is just as eventful even when everybody is stuck to their own dorms.

Will had barely been able to get two words out to them on FaceTime before Lou interrupts him.

“You need help asking out Nico from our writing class, don’t you?”

Will just blinks. “How did you know?”

“Because you mention every day what he talked about in class today.”

“I do?”

“Yeah, and you asked me if I knew what floor he lived on,” Cecil adds. “I was betting on murder, maybe, but once Lou Ellen told me it was probably a crush it made a little more sense.”

Will shakes his head. “I’m gonna choose to ignore the murder part.”

“I sent Mitchell after you. Isn’t he supposed to be a love expert or something?” Lou Ellen asks.

“That was you? I thought that was just Connor oversharing his roommate drama with his boyfriend!”

“You really think Connor has enough brain cells to do all that? The kid can barely remember what he has for breakfast most days,” Lou rolls her eyes. “Look, the best case scenario, he’s your soulmate and you guys get married and have a million kids.”

“I don’t even know if I want kids-”

“Fine, dogs, whatever. Worst case scenario, classes are all online this semester and you literally just don’t look at his face for the rest of the year.”

It’s a good point, and Will really is seriously considering it now, but there’s still one thing standing in the way.

“Okay, well, it’s not like I can really ask him out,” Will points out. “We’re barely allowed to leave our dorms, and I don’t know if a Zoom first date is the best idea.”

“Then just figure out a way to get his number. That way, you two can talk, and when this whole quarantine thing is over then you’ll be close enough that you can finally go on a date,” Cecil suggests.

Both Will and Lou Ellen nod enthusiastically.

“Cecil, that might be the smartest thing I’ve ever heard you say,” Lou says dreamily. 

“Now we just have to figure out a way for Will to get the balls to actually do it.”

Will gasps, fake hurt. “I’ll figure it out, thank you very much.”

They continue discussing their plan before Lou Ellen inevitably notices that they’re in fact, 15 minutes late to Intro to Writing.

As the three scramble into the Zoom meeting at the same time, Will may or may not notice Nico bite back a laugh. He decides being late was worth it.

—

When Will’s teacher put him and Nico in a breakout room together, Will knew this was probably his chance.

That is until he has to go and make a fool of himself.

“I like your duck tree,” is the first thing Nico says when they enter the room, referencing the mini fake Christmas tree (even though both him and Connor are Jewish) that’s covered in all sorts of rubber ducks behind him. It was their 3am creation after moving into the dorm, which featured a midnight run to the dollar store and two noise complaints from their neighbors.

And, because Will can’t take anything seriously, he makes the mistake of talking.

“Thanks,” he says, then before he can stop himself, “Did you know they have curly dicks?”

Nico snorts. “What?”

Realizing what he said, Will just has to push through. “The ducks. It’s like a corkscrew shape.”

“Ah, gotcha,” Nico nods. “Is that your topic for your paper?”

Maybe explaining himself wasn’t a good idea.

“Nope, just, uh, something I learned in Biology when I was a freshman.”

Nico nods again. “Cool. So what is everyone’s topic?”

Yup, he blew it. Asking Nico out might take another decade now, or however long it takes for Will to regain his dignity after that interaction.

—

It’s another few weeks before Will actually sees Nico in person for the first time.

Ever since their breakout room conversation, he had only interacted with the boy if it was for class. Slowly but surely, he was healing from that mess of a first introduction.

That, of course, all went out the window after Will nearly ran straight into him on the way to his dorm after spending the weekend with Lou Ellen at her parent’s house. Meanwhile, Nico must have been on his way out.

Will almost didn’t recognize him when they bumped into each other, too panicked about running straight into someone he didn’t know. Once he recognized the wavy black hair and olive-toned skin, he knew immediately who it was.

Nico was shorter than he had thought he would be, almost a whole half foot smaller than Will, but that didn’t make him any less attractive. In fact, he was so, so much cuter in person than over a screen.

“Hey,” Nico grins. “Duck penis kid.”

Will ran straight into that one.

“I have a name, you know,” he narrows his eyes. “And like, actual interests.”

“Besides ducks and their breeding habits?”

“Yes, besides that. I wouldn’t exactly consider that an interest.”

Nico raises an eyebrow as if he’s skeptical, but his smile gives it all away.

“Well, I do know your name, William,” he says, and Will nearly passes out right then and there. “Do you know mine?”

“It says your name on Zoom, Nico,” he responds as casually as he possibly can. “And it’s- it’s just Will, actually.”

“That’s not what it says on your Zoom name.”

“Well, that’s-” Will flushes. “That’s because I don’t know how to change it.”

“Well, I guess you'll have to remind me to teach you if we’re ever in a breakout room together again,” Nico laughs. “I’ll see you around, Will.”

He heads off, and before he can stop himself, Will calls after him.

“Wait!”

Nico spins on his heel at the bottom of the next staircase, looking up at him with those dark eyes. For a moment, Will completely forgets what he wants to say.

“Um, would you want to, uh, play GamePigeon sometime over iMessage?” he offers. It was the ‘foolproof’ invitation that Lou Ellen had come up with, considering it’s something they did on a near-daily basis.

“Intro to Writing isn’t the most interesting class— well, maybe you think it is, I don’t know— but maybe, if you want a distraction one day…?” he continues, trailing off hopefully at the end.

Nico winces. “Oh, uh, I don’t have an iPhone, sorry,” he says, holding up his Samsung as proof. There are two little charms hanging off the phone case: a small rainbow and a skull, which makes Will melt a bit. Unfortunately, it doesn’t help his case at all.

“Oh, okay, then can I maybe get your number? Just… in general?”

Nico grins, raising his eyebrow again. “Are you asking me out, Solace?”

Will fights the heat creeping to his cheeks at the use of his last name. “Um, yes? If you want? We can’t really go out right now, Nit we could just talk? See if we work as friends and then maybe reconsider that date thing if you’re up for it? Because, uh, I think you’re cute, and we’re both queer, and I noticed your Ramones shirt the other day which is super cool because my dad introduced me to that band, so there’s something we have in common. And, uh, we can talk about whatever else you’re into, but I just thought I would take my chance because I’m into… you,” he rambles out.

Nico just blinks, and Will wonders if this was the best or dumbest decision he’s ever made.

“Or… or not,” he adds on, just in case.

Nico laughs, which is totally adorable, but also totally activates Will’s fight or flight. Before he can escape to his dorm, though, Nico holds out his hand.

“Solace, please,” he says, still in the same light, laugh-y tone. It takes a second to activate in Will’s brain that he’s asking for his phone to put his number in.

Oh.

Will steps down the staircase until he’s at the same level as Nico, pulling his phone out of his bag and handing it to the boy.

Nico stares at it. “Uh, you might want to put your passcode in first.”

“Right, right, sorry,” Will takes it back, unlocking his phone and finding the contacts app so Nico can put in his number.

This time when he hands it back, he’s smiling again. 

“See you in the Zoom call,” he tells Will, before turning the corner around the staircase, and Will realizes he should probably get back to his dorm if he wants to make his 7:00 Chem class.

It isn’t until he’s back in his room, listening to his professor drone on about chemical properties when he finally opens his phone. He taps on the contacts app, just checking to make sure the entire interaction wasn’t a fever dream.

Just as he expected, a new number is embedded in his contacts. Nido di Angelo. Next to the name, the duck emoji and the eggplant emoji.

Yeah, he was never going to live that down.

—

solangelo tag list (message to be added/removed): @unicornsgomooo @anxiouswinter @soulangelou @number-of-fucks-i-give-0 @underworldystuff @theeloquentsnake @solangelover@thefandomsaretakingover @internallyexplodingrainbows​ @hairasuntouchedaspartoftheamazon​ @motivatedcryptidtamer @emilyfairchild @wherethewildthingsare-nt @hetapeep41 @blavk-dahlia

[meganshinsou-tm]

Vermilion. (m)

↳ chapter ten: always something more to reach for

❧ genre:  pro-hero’s bakugou/kirishima, poly, happy ending

❧ chapter warnings: none

[multi-chap masterlist] [previous chapter - next chapter]

You were woken up to strong arms cradling you and pulling you from the soft warm bed, making your eyes flutter open lazily.

"Suki, what are you doing?" Your voice was groggy and tired.

The man stood from the bed with you in his arms as he groaned and stumbled a little gripping you tightly. "We're going to my bed before I murder the fucking sun!"

His voice was raspier than usual, it was extremely sexy and made a lazy smile form at your lips. After a short walk you were in Bakugou’s room, it was darker in there for sure because he seemed to have his windows covered with black out curtains, but a small amount of light still shone through. Since he was still half asleep he stumbled and bumped into a few things but he never once dropped you. He finally got to his bed and just tossed you onto it, making you giggle and it took you no time to crawl under his covers and snuggle up into them. You inhaled the scent of his covers and pillows, it smelled warm and spicy just like him. You sigh as you breathed out and smiled.

Katsuki's body was soon next to yours again, your back flushed against his chest. It was also a lot warmer in his room and with the literal hot head being so close and cuddled up, you knew you would be sweating in no time. So you slowly slipped out of your shirt, leaving you in just your panties; the both of you were too tired to make any smart remarks about it. Once your bare back flushed against his chest again you could feel just how heated Bakugou’s body really was, you'd definitely be sleeping with him in the colder months for sure! One of his arms rested under your head as his fingers played with your hair and his other arm wrapped around your waist tightly. He kissed your shoulder and hummed happily as the two of you drifted back off to sleep.

A few hours later Bakugou stirred awake again, turning his head to look at the clock, it was now two in the afternoon. He groaned, knowing he needed to get up at some point and be productive and not sleep all day or else he wouldn't be able to sleep that night. He quietly and slowly left the bed for a minute to at least go pee before his bladder burst, then he came back and pulled the curtains from his window just a bit more to let some light shine in so he wouldn't have to turn on the actual lights. 

Katsuki turned back around to crawl into bed and wake you but he stopped as he took in the sight before him. Your bare back was to him as you peacefully slept, one of your legs was stretched out and the other was hiked up, showcasing your legs, the curve of your ass and hips perfectly. Your hair flowed across the pillow and he could see the rise and fall as you breathed, but what caught his attention was a tattoo underneath your right shoulder blade. It was a jumble of words in red ink that his still sleepy eyes couldn't make out, so he laid back next to you and let his fingertips trace the mark as his eyes adjusted.

The touch seemed to make you flinch unconsciously and grunt, making him chuckle, as he flattened his hand under the tattoo and brushed his thumb against it. "Because there is always something more to reach for," the vermilion ink read. The blonde wanted to know more about the meaning behind the words that permanently marked your skin. You always seemed so happy and bubbly, so he expected something colorful and cutesy but this was deep. 

You started to stir from him touching your skin as you stretched your body. Bakugou smiled and kissed the tattoo on your back making a purr escape your lips then wrapped his arm back around your waist and nuzzled the crook of your neck, kissing and nipping it.

"Wake up princess.”

Katsuki's raspy voice was in your ear as he peppered your skin with soft kisses and bites.

"Mmm, if I wake up will you feed me,” you whined and rubbed your now empty stomach as it growled.

The blonde chuckled and propped his head on his hand, looking down at you as your head turned to face him. "You really are a fucking gremlin huh? How about if I fed you, then you'll tell me about your tattoo that you've never mentioned to us."

You sat up still facing away from him and stretched out your arms.

"That sounds simple enough, what do you want to know,” you asked as you searched the bed for your shirt and found it.

Bakugou sat up pulling you between his legs as he kissed your back while it was still bare. He asked you the normal cliche questions that any other person would ask, what is it and what meaning does it have behind it. You smiled and covered your chest with your shirt and let him adorn your back with more kisses and the brushing of his nose, enjoying every second of the Sweet Suki as long as you could.

"Uhm, its lyrics. This certain lyric has always stuck with me, although I've never seen myself as perfect, it reminds that it's okay not to be and to stay humble, and if I do start to pride myself too much then that there is always something more to reach for and achieve."

Katsuki listened to you as his head rested on your shoulder and you asked him if that answer satisfied him enough. He hummed a reply and you finally put your shirt back on and turned to face him.

"Now, food please! I'm so hungry I'm gonna die!" You whined and fell into his chest, looking up at him with your tongue hanging out.

Bakugou chuckled and pushed your tongue back into your mouth and placed a sweet kiss on your lips, "Okay princess. Go see if Hair for Brains is up yet, and if he isn't then wake his ass up. I'll go make all of us some food."

You smiled and kissed him back before leaving his room and made your way down the hall, knocking on Kiri's door.

"Red are you awake?"

You heard groaning from the other side of the door and decided to crack it open and peered inside. You could see a tuft of red hair peeking out from under the blanket, making you smile as you tiptoed in and pounced on top of the sleeping red-head. He groaned and tried to hide more.

"Kiri wake up, I missed you, didn't you miss me?" You whined and finally found a break in the blanket, letting you nuzzle your face into his hair.

"Of course I did Mama, but it's so early!"

Kirishima finally rolled over onto his back making you fall off of him. He apologized as he rubbed his tired eyes and grabbed your hand to pull you back on top of him. You straddled his bare chest and admired his sleepy sharp toothed grin that made your heart melt.

"It's almost three in the afternoon sleeping beauty. When did you get home?"

"Uh, 3AM or so." 

Kiri sat up and cracked his neck, stretching out his arms, making his shoulders pop as well and making him sigh in relief.

"Damn you sound pretty beat, I'm sorry Kiri. If tomorrow wasn't Monday I'd let you sleep in, but if you sleep all day today then you'll be groggy tomorrow. Come on, Suki is making us some food. How about each of you choose one of your favorite movies, and we'll all just relax today on the couch with snacks and the cake I made!"

Kirishima gleamed at your suggestion and hugged you close to him, placing lots of kisses all over your face. "That sounds perfect baby girl, but there isn't much cake left. I kind of ate half of it when I got home. It was so good and I couldn't stop myself, I'm sorry!"

You giggled and told him it was fine before kissing his smiling lips, making him happily kiss back. The two of you got out of the bed and he slipped on some sweats. As you walked to the door to head out the red-head tugged at your hand and blushed as he rubbed the back of his neck and asked if you would sleep with him that night.

"Aww, of course Red. Between you and Suki, I feel like I won't be sleeping in my own bed very much."

Kirishima smiled and shook his head agreeing, "We'll just have to share you I guess!"

Kirishima and Bakugou were both in the locker room getting dressed in their hero outfits. They made small talk with each other until they could vaguely hear someone screaming and it got louder the closer it came.

"Kiri! Suki!"

Both of the men looked at each other and decided to walk out of the locker room and look down the hall to see what was going on. Someone was running towards them, wearing a dark red hooded trench coat with a black chest harness underneath that had straps forming a pentagram. They also wore shredded black shorts and knee high boots, exposing their thighs, showing one adorned with two garters that held a blade.

"Is that (Y/N)?" Kiri asked as he squinted his eyes and looked closer.

You continued running towards them with everything you had, screaming and flinging your arms.

"She looks like a fucking corgi running with those short legs of hers!" Katsuki snickered to Kiri.

Once the blonde went to look back towards you, your body collided with Kirishima's, tackling him to the ground as you straddled his chest. The red-head went to sit up and groaned as he rubbed his head, until he felt your hands gripping his shirt, violently shaking him back and forth giving him whiplash.

"They. Are. Letting. Me. Go. Out. Today!"

"Stop fucking shaking him, you'll make him more stupid than he already is!" Katsuki growled as he crouched down beside the two of you.

You did as instructed, but didn't let go of Kiri's shirt, giving him time to get centered again as his eyes focused back and he chuckled.

"Alright, mama. Now breathe, and calmly repeat that,” Kiri said as he touched your cheek and grinned.

A massive pearly white smile was plastered on your face as you tried to calm down and looked back and forth between your red-eyed roommates. "They're letting me go on a mission today for the first time as a side-kick! I'm finally going to get some action!"

"If you wanted some action all you had to do was ask princess!"

Katsuki joked and squeezed your inner thigh. You rolled your eyes and pushed him back, making him fall onto his rear and laugh.

"You fucking wish!"

The blonde smirked and stood to his feet, "Tch, and you don't?"

You narrowed your eyes at his smug face, but before you could lunge at him Kirishima grabbed your hips to hold you back.

"Alright children that's enough! Bakugou just say you're happy for her, it's that simple,” Kirishima ordered holding you to his chest as he stood to his feet and placed you on yours.

Katsuki rolled his eyes and crossed his arms, "I'm happy for you brat! Now we really get to put your ass to work!"

You stuck out your tongue to him and he did the same. Kiri shook his head.

"That's not exactly what I meant, but good job bro! I on the other hand am pumped for you mama, I told you you'd get your shot soon! And by the way, your costume looks badass, it really suits you!"

You smiled and clapped your hands together while twirling around.

"Thanks Red, I know it's nothing."

As you and Kiri talked about your costume, Bakugou watched as you smiled and were full of excitement. He hated to admit how much that smile got to him and could reduce him to nothing but putty in your hands. Even if he was vague, he really was excited about your first day out on a real job and not being stuck in the office anymore. Now he just wanted to know who you'd be with so he could make sure they kept an eye on you or else they'd have to answer to him and Kiri if anything happened.

"Alright ladies, that's enough, you can talk more about this at home. Let's go to the boss and see what our assignments are for the day!"

The blonde cut through you and Kiri as he made his way to the briefing room. You giggled and placed a kiss on Kiri's cheek before bolting towards Katsuki and jumped on his back, wrapping your arms around his neck and your legs around his waist.

"I hope I get to work with you guys soon,” you quipped and kissed his cheek.

Katsuki and Kiri smiled at each other and the blonde grabbed your thighs as he carried you.

"Me too gremlin!"

However though, as the three of you would soon find out, that wasn’t exactly what the agency had in mind for the day.

"Over my dead body! I request to take her spot, send her with Red for the day!"

You glared at Bakugou as he yelled at the boss and elbowed him in the stomach.

"That can be arranged, now shut up Katsuki! That's our boss, you can't talk to him like that!"

The blonde looked down on you with his scorching red eyes and started to retaliate until the boss cut him off.

"You'd be wise to listen to her Bakugou. You and Kirishima are needed somewhere else. (Y/N) was asked for specifically along with Todoroki for this case. It's a simple infiltration mission, and they could use someone with their long range skills. None of this is up for discussion, now go and do your jobs!"

Without another word you were the first to storm out of the room, Bakugou and Kirishima following right behind you. Katsuki went to grab your arm until he felt someone grabbing him by the back of his shirt and slamming him against the wall. Kirishima was glaring at him with a look that could kill.

"You need to calm the fuck down man, I know you don't like him but Shouto is a good guy. She's getting a huge break here for her first day, both of us got stuck on city patrol for our first! I won't let you ruin her big day, now put your petty jealousy aside, suck it the fuck up and go apologize to her before she gets it in her mind that she can't do this!"

Katsuki was shocked, he had never had his friend get this mad at him before. He didn't want to admit it but the idiot was right, he should've just kept his mouth shut about it and went on. He knows that you only value his and Kirishima's opinions about you above anyone else's and to suddenly make it sound like you weren't ready for such a task was probably eating away at you that very second.

"Fuck,” he finally sighed and pushed Kiri out of the way as he ran towards you.

It didn’t take him long to sprint down the hall and find you, still obviously pissed off.

"Oi - fucking wait up!"

You could hear Katsuki running after you but you didn't listen to him. Hot tears were starting to form at the corners of your eyes and you'd die before letting him see you cry.

"Fuck off Bakugou!"

Shit - back to being formal? 

Bakugou realized he was in deep shit, however it didn’t change the way he tried to talk to you.

"Will you stop and let me talk you brat," he yelled and grabbed you by the shoulders, but you kept your face turned away.

"Why? So you can tell me how unprepared for this I am or how I'm not ready?" You hissed at him, your voice slowly breaking.

At that moment, his hand was on your chin, forcing you to look at him. His red eyes widened and Bakugou tightened his jaw. Guilt and regret blooming in his gut as he saw the corners of your eyes watering. His lips parted and he sighed.

"(Y/N), that's not it at all! Look, I'm sor –"

You shook your head, making him stop as you glared back at him.

"If you've come to apologize, I don't fucking want it,” you spoke with a strained voice, trying to stand your ground. “I'll prove it that I can be just as strong and capable as you and Kiri, if not stronger! I'll make sure that after today, you'll never doubt me but always believe in me, just like I believe in you Suki!"

With that you jerked your face away from his grip and started walking towards the door, "Tell Kiri I'll call when I'm done. Please be careful today!"

[stupid-jeans]

how to return home ch4 (Jalton)

Sunday night update: So, I lied. AO3 lied to me. What it told me was chapter 4 (unpublished) was actually just a duplicate of 3. I’m so sorry for the confusion and those who thought they had two chapters to read! :( Thank you all for the amazing feedback, as always. I’m so glad you’re enjoying! Off to work on the next chapter of madness game and then I assume the next chapter of this will be up sometime midweek.

Over on AO3

Chapter summary/Notes: Gavin and Jaz reflect on Elijah. Jaz and Adam have a few late night chats. This chapter is solidly in "T" territory. My lovely beta, @undercoverwatermoon's first comment on this was "Oh my GOD" so take that as you wish.

After dinner, the melancholy sets in. Not really for her, but it's coming off of Gavin in waves. Jaz leads him out onto the porch and sinks down in the swing, leaning against his side.

"You know he'd be really proud of you,” she murmurs. "It would've been so damn easy for us to give up without him."

"He would've been pissed. Can you imagine?" Gavin asks, laughing through tears.

"Yeah, he would've," Jaz agrees, pressing closer to him. "You know that song was the first one we ever sang together?" It's been a while since she revisited this particular memory, but it feels appropriate now, even with the lump it brings to her throat.

"I did know that," Gavin says, sliding his arm around her shoulders. "But you should tell me again."

Though she’s told it multiple times, the story never fails to lift her spirits. She tells him about the first day in Incirlik. Adam had met her at the airstrip and driven her back to their little hut on the base's edge. Elijah had been dancing around with McG in his arms, serenading him and expecting McG to sing his part, which he had zero apparent interest in doing. Begrudgingly, McG had sung, but he'd screwed up all the words causing Jaz to casually remark, "That's not how it goes." Elijah had looked at her like she was his long lost soulmate. They'd never looked back.

"He called me the next day," Gavin says. "To tell me all about this amazing girl. Almost made me jealous."

"You never had a damn thing to worry about. He loved you more than anything. I never even knew something like that was possible," Jaz admits, smiling despite the threat of tears.

"But now you know.” He kisses the top of her head, just like Elijah used to do and lets the quiet settle a bit before speaking again. “So, you think that's something you could have with Adam?"

"That's jumping, like, so many steps ahead," Jaz groans.

"Well, that's not exactly a 'no', so I'll take it," Gavin laughs. "Just do me a favor and don't let this pass you by without some serious thought, okay? I know it’s not a clear cut situation, but that's love, you know?"

Under any other circumstances, coming from literally anyone else, she would balk at the word. But she's safe here and it's not entirely wrong, so she just sighs.

"Yeah, okay."

**

It's nearly 3am when her phone goes off, just a quiet buzz under her pillow, but Jaz startles awake with a racing heart. The remnants of the nightmare still linger as she glances at her phone, squinting against the light.

Adam. You up?

I am now she nearly shoots back sarcastically, but he’s reaching out to her and it’s kind of a big deal. She just calls him instead.

"Hey. You didn't have to call."

"You say that like it's a chore. Last I checked, we're on leave and you can't boss me around. Maybe I just missed talking to you," she murmurs, the cold edge of her nightmare fading at the familiar warmth of his voice.

"I am not bossy. You want bossy, I'll put McG in charge for a week and you can see how that goes," he chuckles. He still sounds tired.

"Mmm, no, I think I'll keep you. Devil you know and all that," she says, stifling a yawn and rolling onto her back. The stars on the ceiling aren't anywhere near as brilliant or as vast as the ones outside, but they're comforting all the same.

"Aw, shucks. You really know how to make a guy feel special. Sorry I woke you."

"You didn't." Of course he would know.

"Liar," he says, mocking their earlier conversation.

"It was a nightmare anyway. So I should be thanking you." Admitting it feels easier than keeping up the lie.

"Wanna talk about it?" he offers.

Jaz knows she can turn him down and he'll drop it. But sharing with him has become almost second nature.

"I was back in Tehran...and he told me you were dead- showed me - and I didn't believe him. And then they brought me Elijah's head." Just saying it makes her queasy, and the words sour on her tongue. "God."

"You're alright," he promises, calm and steady like always. "Just breathe a second, yeah?"

Jaz does, in through her nose and out through her mouth, until the nausea subsides.

"You with me?" Adam asks and she nods before realizing he can't see her.

"Yeah, I'm here. Talk to me? How's Patton?" The dog is a safe topic for both of them.

"He's having the time of his life. I have no idea how I'm gonna bring him back to Turkey after this," Adam says. "Hang on."

She waits, wondering what the hell she's waiting for until her phone goes off in her hand and there's a picture of Patton passed out on Adam's chest; Adam's bare chest. Jaz swallows. It's not like she hasn't seen him shirtless a thousand times, but somehow having a picture makes it seem considerably more intimate.

"You're spoiling him. At this rate, we're gonna have to get him his own bed," she teases, impressed with herself for not letting on.

"Probably. But I'm a sucker."

"You are. It's kind of adorable," Jaz says, and then promptly smacks herself in the forehead because what kind of stupid fucking comment was that? "I mean he's adorable."

"You know, I don't think anyone's called me adorable since I was a kid," he laughs, ignoring her attempt at a save.

"Yeah, well, don't get used to it. This is what happens when you wake me up in the middle of the night," she mutters.

"You have no filter? I'll have to wake you up more often, then," Adam says. "I'm sorry. I should let you go."

The rapid backtrack takes Jaz a second to process.

"No, don't. Why'd you text me, anyway?"

"Couldn't sleep. That's all."

Jaz knows, without asking, exactly the kind of demons keeping him awake. She also knows that he's not ready to talk about them yet. These particular demons are fresh; too close to the surface to risk putting them into words just now. Instead, she hums and curls up on her side, figuring there's exactly one thing that might help.

"Stay on the phone with me?" she asks.

The relief is tangible in his voice when he agrees. She doesn't let herself drift off again until Adam's breathing evens out. It’s comforting to know he’s there, even through the tinny echo of the call.

**

In the morning, the call is still going. It hasn't been that long since they fell asleep (the counter on her phone says it's been 4 hours and 37 minutes), and Adam's still sound asleep. Jaz disconnects the call and slips out of bed to go for a run.

Like yesterday, there's breakfast and Gavin is waiting when she comes home. The predictability and the routine of it all set her at ease in a way nothing else has in a long time. She figures maybe this is what home is supposed to feel like. She’s so grateful to Elijah for giving this to her.

**

The routine starts to include Adam, somehow. Instead of falling asleep and waiting for him to cave at 3am, Jaz starts calling Adam when she goes to bed for the night. They talk about his day; boating, fishing and hiking with Patton. They also talk about hers. The ridiculous Walmart fashion shows - courtesy of Gavin- gardening and cooking with Connie; going shooting with Dale.

"Family looks good on you, Jazzy," he says. It’s been a week of bedtime chats that end with them falling asleep together, hundreds of miles apart.

"You can't even see me," she points out, teasing. "Besides, I have a family already. With the team."

"You know what I mean. I can tell you're happy there, is all. And I'm glad. You deserve it. But I do miss seeing you."

She feels her cheeks warm.

"I miss seeing you too," she murmurs.

"But see, you have a picture of me, and I don't have one of you," he says. It’s the closest thing to flirting he's said all week.

"Um, last I checked, I had a picture of the damn dog, not you," Jaz scoffs at him.

"That can be fixed."

"Why don't you just ask me what I'm wearing?" she challenges, not sure where the bravery is coming from. Maybe it's all of Gavin's goading.

"What're you wearing?" She's heard him in all kinds of situations, but not like this. Even as an exaggerated tease, his voice is dizzying and warm. Suddenly all she can think about is kissing him. She can still taste his mouth; still feel the faint tickle of his beard. She must make some kind of sound, because she hears his breathing go a little ragged in her ear. It's enough to bring her back from memory land.

"Nothing," she purrs, intentionally seductive in a way she reserves purely for playing a part and nothing more. And it's a total lie. But it'll get Adam back just a little bit.

"Jaz," he says, clearly amused but a little flustered.

"You asked."

"Pics or it didn't happen. Isn't that what the kids are saying these days?" he asks, and that he's not backing down has her a little rattled herself.

She's not a selfie person. To the best of her knowledge, she's never taken one. But she poses sort of awkwardly in the warm light of the bedside table lamp, stretched out on the bed in her wife beater and shorts; something he's seen her in a million times before. Jaz sends the picture before she can change her mind. Self-conscious isn't something she does, but right now, things feel different. Intimate, like the shirtless picture of him with the dog. The one she's looked at more than a few times.

"Liar," he murmurs again, and it takes a few seconds for her brain to catch up.

"Sorry to disappoint you," she laughs softly, trying to remember the last time she felt like this; flirty and carefree.

"You have never disappointed me," he says, suddenly serious.

"I know."

That night, she dreams about waking up in his bed, in his arms, with his lips on her neck. She wakes up flushed and panting, blankets in a heap on the floor. The phone is discarded next to her with the call already disconnected. Jaz can't help but wonder if he dreamed of her, too. She really, really hopes so.

[phan-of-the-pen]

I Dare You To Stay: Chapter 6

Hello!!! This chapter is later than I hoped to get it out, but it got much much longer than I planned, and I decided to cut the chapter into two so I could get this chapter out now. Enjoy!

Tags for chapter: fluff, very faint themes of unwanted flirting, protective!phil

Words for chapter: ~4k

Fic Summary: Dan Howell is a barista working a shitty job, frequenting his shitty apartment, and living a shitty existence, hiding his asexuality and going for a PHD in self-depreciation and depression. Phil Lester is a part-time intern, part-time employee at a local weather station, trying to get experience in his field and make a name for himself, while juggling a second job at the nearby Tesco’s to give him some financial breathing room. Their paths were never supposed to meet, but what happens when they do anyways, one rainy day in Manchester?

(ao3!)

<-- Previous chapter Next chapter -->

~~~~~~~~~~

Dan and Jaime had both played hookie and taken off the next day, on Sunday. They ended up going to the movies like they had originally planned the day before, and walked around Manchester after, buying way too many snacks from street vendors and whirling through stores, sometimes purchasing things, sometimes not. Dan ended up with a new jumper and a pair of ripped jeans that actually made his legs look good and not just like he'd robbed his trousers off of a homeless man.

However, Dan couldn't just afford to take days off on his schedule whenever he wanted, and he was right back in that caffeine-saturated building bright and early Monday morning. Jaime wasn't with him—she was scheduled for a later shift and would arrive sometime this afternoon—so it was quieter than normal, and a perfect recreation of last Monday's morning.

Hopefully I won't dance in front of any strangers, then, if this is Last Monday Pt 2.

With that thought, Dan's brain immediately switched to thinking about the downright mysterious man who had found his way, literally, stumbling into Dan's life.

Phil had very obviously been in last Monday, and the Wednesday after, but he had also ended up showing up this past Friday as well, and god, Dan wished that that encounter hadn't happened. He had been in the bathroom only to come back and find Jaime talking with Phil as if they were the closest of old friends, laughing together, Jaime's hand close to her mouth as if she was telling him a secret. Dan still didn't know what they had talked to each other about, but when Jaime went to go "see about something in the back" when she noticed Dan, she had given him a wink. Phil's face had also been flushed, and he had had what Dan could only equate to a slightly embarrassed, slightly pleased smile.

Dan flicked his eyes to the glass door. He had opened the store all of four minutes ago, but there was still a little part of him that was wondering…

Maybe he'll come back today?

Dan wasn't sure if he wanted to get his hopes up, not really. Sure, Phil was entertaining, a really fun guy to be around, the fucking weatherman, mind you, and he was really damn attractive, but Jaime had told him a lot that Phil had been flirting with him, and the thought that Phil wanted a romantic relationship with him turned his stomach. Dan didn't date people because of his horrid-at-best history with significant others, and he really didn't want to have to go into anything like that with Phil. He was content to try a friendship with the guy if it happened, but other than that, sign him the fuck out.

Thankfully, the day didn't start out completely just like last Monday. The shop was anything but dead, and Dan would think that it was a holiday or something with the stream of people that wouldn't stop coming in. It was a bit much for just Dan to manage, and if he hadn't been working for as long as he had as a barista, he was certain that it would have been hell to deal with so many people in such a short time. The good thing was that all of the traffic kept him busy. He was making lattes and espressos and dinks with little foam designs, and before he knew it, time was flying by. It was no longer early morning, but a little past one in the afternoon and the past six-ish hours felt like a blink, but Dan was glad for the lull. He had been on his feet rushing around to fill orders all morning, and it kind of sucked, so Dan just slumped against the counter, exhaling for what seemed like the first time all day.

Dan's stomach grumbled angrily and he pressed his palm to his abdomen, the corner of his lip pulling down. He'd forgotten about breakfast this morning.

He looked around the coffee shop. There were about a half dozen people besides himself, and none of them were paying Dan any attention, nor did they seem like they were going to need his assistance anytime soon.

Dan made himself a coffee because after six hours of non-stop labor he deserved it, and picked out one of the wrapped sandwiches that they sold. He couldn't take a full on lunch break like he may have wanted to because there was no one too cover the store while he ate and took a half an hour to relax, so Dan just dragged a chair up next to the counter and sat down, letting out a deep sigh.

Working a double shift all alone sucked ass, but Dan didn't mind too much in the instance that the only other person who would be able to work a shift like this with him besides Jaime was Steve. And fuck, that guy was an asshole. So really, Dan would take working himself harder than normal then having to subject him to shitty company when he didn't have to.

He ate quicker than normal, the hunger in his stomach multiplying once he started eating. God, he should never skip breakfast. It only fucked him over later. Oh you're hungry? You skipped a meal? Well you better eat twice your weight if you want any chance of feeling full ever again.

Dan's sandwich was gone from his hands before he knew it, so he sipped his coffee, too lazy to get up and grab another. He'd eat something small later when he had a moment while working. The caffeine was starting to work through his system now too, and he could feel a bit of his lost energy coming back.

His break didn't last all that long, though—barely fifteen minutes—before the crowds were back and he had to help his fellow human beings get their caffeine fix.

Over the course of the next hour or so, Dan was back to working just like he had this morning with the amount of people walking into the store. He had to have sold a record amount of coffee for a single day, and he still had several hours left to his shift when Jaime would take over. It was kind of incredible, and if Dan maybe wasn't the one behind the counter, he might have found it a little impressive.

The next lull he had was some time later, at about four-thirty, and once the girl he had just served walked away, Dan had his hand in the opened bag of crisps behind the counter. He was starving and really wished that he had eaten something more than a medium coffee and a small sandwich.

Dan had his face full, mid-chew when someone walked up to the counter. He had the undeniable air of a uni student, a bag slung over his shoulder and wearing some sort of combination of pajamas and street clothes that only broke and in-debt twenty-something university college students would deem acceptable.

Not that Dan really had any room to talk. He looked like a hobo at the best of times as well.

"Hi, could I bother you for another shot of espresso? Or two, actually? I have a late shift tonight that I've got to get to, and I won't be able to study for my test until like, 3AM. I need all of the caffeine I can get right now." he said sheepishly, holding out his drink. Dan raised his eyebrows. He remembered this guy the first time he had served him, and Dan had already put three shots of espresso in initially at his request.

"You sure?" He asked, taking the cup. It was about half empty. "I mean I get it crash studying is pretty important but jeez that sounds like a death wish. Not to mention pretty tasteless."

The guy laughed, a wide smile on his face. He looked a lot nicer when he was smiling. Less glum and like he was about to keel over.

"Yeah, I guess you're right. The sacrifices we take for a degree, huh?" He yawned before he could add anything past that, a hand covering his mouth. "You know what? Make it two, please. You don't have to bother refilling the drink, I'll just take the espresso. Pray for me, I might not make it out of this alive."

Dan snorted as he popped the lid off of the cup and put it under the espresso maker. Two shots. Dan used one of the little straws to mix up the still-steaming contents of the cup. He looked over at the guy standing there, watching Dan work. He had about the same build as Dan did and if just being able to smell the drink seemed to alert Dan's senses, this guy was definitely going to not be sleeping for quite a while. Dan pitied him for the caffeine crash that was going to fuck this guy's ass like a speeding truck. Dan reached out for a new lid for the cup—company policy—but there weren't any more large-sized lids and his hand grazed the bare table-top. Fuck, he must have run out.

"Here, one sec," Dan said, passing the open coffee cup to the guy. Dan dropped down, opening the cabinet under the counter and moving aside. He heard the glass door open, the little bell ringing for the millionth time today, and internally groaned. Can't even get a fucking break.

He came back up, a stack of the little plastic lids in his hands, grabbing one and depositing the rest off to the side where the medium and small lids were. Dan noticed the guy's eyes following his body, and it rolled his stomach and tied it into knots simultaneously, but he tried to ignore it and handed the lid over. The guy clicked it on.

"Do I owe you anything for that..?" He asked. Dan could feel his skin crawling, but he didn't try to kill the friendly smile on his face even if it was strained.

"Nah, no need to pay your executioner," he joked, silently hoping that this guy would go away. He laughed, but Dan didn't, just still choosing to stand there with that god-awful feeling rising in his chest.

"Thanks. My name's Jon, but my friends call me Jonny." He bit his lip, and while Dan might have been oblivious, even he knew that this guy was now flirting with him. He had had his suspicions when he noticed Jon's gaze on his ass, but Dan's hopes that this guy would stop at blind lust were apparently in vain.

Dan gave him a strangled smile. Walk away walk away walk away-

Jon opened his mouth to say something else, but behind him someone cleared his throat. Jon jumped a little, clearly expecting it just as little as Dan had, and gave Dan a nervous smile, but stepped away.

"Sorry, I'll let you get back to work. Maybe I'll see you around, then-" he said, dragging out the 'n' and squinting at the nametag on Dan's shirt, "-Dan."

Jon gave Dan one last toothy grin and a wave, turning on his heel and walking towards the exit. Dan still felt uncomfortable, still had the lump in his chest, still wanted to duck behind the counter and hide, but he tore his gaze away from Jon. Dan had a job to do and apparently Jon's flirting had pissed off the person behind him, so Dan would be better off not adding fuel to that fire. He didn't want to deal with a miserable customer on top of it all.

"Uh, hi how can I-Phil?" Dan sputtered, his eyes going wide as he saw Phil standing there, head turned towards Jon's retreating form, a frown on his face, something fiery in his eye. Phil was the one that was behind Jon? Oh fuck that means he saw him flirting with me. Shit what if he thinks I'm okay with that and he tried something shit shit shi-

Phil's attention flicked to Dan's and god those blue blue eyes were stormy. His shoulders were tense and his face wasn't anywhere close to how open it always was. It was closed off behind what seemed like a brick wall.

In short, Phil looked pissed at best, ready to deck someone at worst.

"I-are you...okay?"

Phil let out a breath—a massive sigh, really—and let his eyes close for a moment. When they opened they weren't as dark, and the lines of his body weren't as sharp, but it still seemed strikingly obvious to Dan that something was up with him.

"Yeah, I'm fine, just, ah, just tired, that's all."

Bullshit. It wasn't even a convincing lie. Dan opened his mouth to call Phil out on it and ask what was really wrong and why he looked like he had just been thirty seconds from fighting someone (that someone who was yet to be determined) but he stopped himself. He and Phil didn't really know each other—not really—and they certainly didn't know each other enough for Dan to call BS, right? That was something that friends did. Were they even friends?

Dan didn't know, and he didn't know if that was a question that someone just asked another person, so he just dropped it, nodding a little robotically and giving a non-committal hum that could mean either "I know exactly what you mean, very relatable" or "we both know you're lying" and decided to let Phil figure it out.

"Okay. Would you, uh, like a coffee?" Dan asked. His voice sounded all wrong in his ears and his entire mind seemed to just be screaming the same thing: Why are you so damn awkward?

And to that, Dan didn't have an answer.

"Yeah, a caramel macchiato, if you wouldn't mind."

And like every other drink he's made today, Dan's hands almost flew on their own accord, but his mind was elsewhere, entirely.

Phil certainly had quite the ability to appear out of nowhere when Dan was the least prepared for dealing with him. No, that wasn't right, that made it sound as if Phil was a problem. And he wasn't, not at all, not even close, he just...was so different. It was as if Dan didn't know how to act around the guy, and could anyone really blame him? Dan's run into him mid-sink into a depressive episode, been caught dancing—which he didn't do—to Muse by the guy, and just now, too, when Dan was uncomfortable as fuck and being flirted with, Phil was there.

And fuck, why did it matter so much to Dan? Why in hell was it apparently important enough for Dan to stress himself over it while he was making Phil's coffee.

Phil looked much more relaxed when Dan handed him the coffee, and the faint smile on his lips was enough to assure Dan that whatever had angered Phil wasn't too bad, if he was smiling already.

"This is probably going to sound weird, but do you not work Sundays?"

Dan looked up from the register where he was ringing up Phil's order. He felt a little bit of heat crawl up his face. Jaime saying he's flirting with you seemed to bounce around in Dan's skull, but he prayed that it didn't show, just letting a little smirk on his face and throwing up the first defense mechanism that he used when he wasn't sure if he was reading a situation wrong: sarcasm and humor.

"You haven't even told me your last name yet but you're asking me for my work schedule?" Dan cocked an eyebrow to make the ruse work. He was still feeling a bit off, and he didn't need Phil to know that.

Phil's eyes went wide and if he had been drinking at the moment, Dan was sure that he would have spit it out.

"What no, no! I didn't—I mean—not like, I-"

Dan laughed and waved away Phil's panic.

"Phil, I'm joking, it's okay. I work everyday except for Saturday, more times than not. Every once in awhile my schedule will get altered or something, but I pretty much am in day in and day out." Dan said, giggling uncontrollably, trying in vain to calm his laughter because frankly, Phil freaking out over possibly offending Dan or something like that was funny as shit.

(and adorable, but that thought didn't even have to be acknowledged by Dan himself)

"Wait a minute, did you come in yesterday to come see me or something?" Dan said, stopping himself. Phil's face went bright red and his eyes went wider, and Dan couldn't help the grin from spreading across his face as Phil tried to find some excuse. He seemed to give up, however, after a moment.

"Uh, yeah, I might have," Phi squeaked out, rubbing the back of his head. He looked like a goddamn little kid admitting to stealing biscuits before dinner for fuck's sake.

Dan didn't really know how to respond to that—did anyone?—so all he did was keep the smile on his face and roll his eyes a little.

"And, it's Lester."

"Excuse me?"

"You mentioned that you didn't know my last name, and it's Lester."

"Oh. Phil Lester. It has a nice ring to it." Dan seemed to be rambling, but he doubted that he could stop himself at this point.

"What about you? Or should I keep think of you as Dan The Guy Who Makes My Coffees?"

"It's Howell." Dan muttered, breaking their eye contact.

"Dan Howell?" Phil asked, a sudden serious glint in his eye. Dan gulped.

"Yeah?" Fuck there goes his anxiety. Off the charts once again.

"Can I have a donut?"

"Oh fuck you!" Dan whined, poking Phil in the shoulder, who was giggling like a mad man, a hand in front of his mouth. "Here I was, thinking you were going to ask me something all serious and all that, and you ask me for a fucking donut? The nerve!"

Phil was laughing hard enough that almost no sound was coming out, and his eyes got all squinty. His hand had dropped away to lay on his chest and Dan could see the tip of his tongue poking out of his mouth as he giggled.

"You should have seen your face!" Phil breathed, and Dan poked him again, but it wasn't with malice. He was smiling himself. Widely, in fact.

This shithead…

When Phil stopped laughing, he looked up back at Dan, a grin splitting his face.

"I hate you." "No you don't. At least, you do a really bad job at showing it, Dan."

"Mhm. You say that like we're friends. True friends would tell each other things like the fact that they're the weatherman, or not try and lowkey stalk them at work, or-"

"Wait a minute, how do you know that I'm the weatherman?"

This time, it was Dan's turn to blush, and he did, heavily, the events of Saturday jumping to the front of his consciousness.

"Saturday I was hanging out with Jaime, and we uh, wanted to know when it would stop raining? So she must have found the local channel, and low and behold you were on it, broadcasting the fucking weather."

Phil blushed, a nervous little laugh bubbling out from his chest.

"I wouldn't give myself that much credit, really. I'm just a part-time unpaid intern part-time employee trying to earn some experience out there and put my name out. I wasn't supposed to actually be telling the weather, but turns out the camera must, ah, love me. At least that's what my boss says."

"Still, Phil, I quite literally choked on a piece of popcorn when you're smiling face just appeared on Jaime's TV with a cloud themed tie."

"You what?"

"Yeah, I wouldn't believe it myself. But there you were, and there I was, like, dying. I should demand compensation for the trauma I've been through."

"What are you going to do, take me to court?"

"Hmm, maybe. You'll hear from my attorney, certainly. Or, probably. I dunno, I've still got to think about what kinds of charges I'm going to press against you. And get an attorney." Dan said, and really, the levels of sarcasm they were single-handedly projecting were astounding.

"Okay, here," Phil said, reaching over and easily picking Dan's phone out of his jeans pocket the sides of his fingers brushing up against the black denim. The action so casual and Phil was so damn confident about it, that Dan just sucked in his breath and watched, open mouthed, as Phil clicked the phone screen on.

"Password?" he asked, turning the phone around. Dan reached out, typed it in, but it was like he was in a daze. Was this really happening?

Phil started typing something, and then snapped a photo of his coffee. He handed Dan his phone back, and bright and new on Dan's screen was a contact titled Phil Lester (is amazing!!). The icon was a picture of the top of Phil's caramel macchiato, only his pale hand visible.

"There you go, let me know when you figure it out, okay? I've got to get to my part-time at Tesco's, but I'll see you around?"

"Uh, yeah. Yes. See you, Phil."

Phil smiled, and Dan smiled back before he even realized he was completing the action. Phil smiled so he smiled back. It was that simple.

He turned and walked away, and Dan's eyes followed his lanky frame the entire time. He watched as Phil opened the door—that tiny bell sounding—and stepped outside. And when Phil passed by the huge floor-to-ceiling window that made up the majority of the one wall and waved to Dan, that big grin still on his face, Dan couldn't help the laugh that spilled from his lips just as much as he couldn't stop his hand waving back.

~~~~~

Twenty minutes later, Dan was serving two girls when he caught sight of a forgotten pastry, pushed off to the side of the counter. It took him a moment, but the dots connected almost simultaneously, and as soon as the two girls were gone, Dan was whipping out his phone, scrolling through his contacts to the newest one. He typed out a message and his thumb hesitated over the send button, but Dan shook his head and pressed it. Too late to go back now.

>> To: Phil Lester (is amazing!!)

I still havent figured out the charges

but

you forgot ur donut you spork

[Multimedia message]

>> From: Phil Lester (is amazing!!)

D:

I'm at work rn, what time do you close?

>> To: Phil Lester (is amazing!!)

um real late, like 10

but my shift's over at 6

so it'll be jaime and some teenager probs

>> From: Phil Lester (is amazing!!)

:'(((

fiiiiinnnnneeeee

I'll have to pick up my donut later won't I?

>> To: Phil Lester (is amazing!!)

uh yeah, i guess

or u can come in tomorrow or smth if like

u dont want to be wandering into a coffee

shop at 10 at night

>> From: Phil Lester (is amazing!!)

what, you would like save the donut or smth?

>> To: Phil Lester (is amazing!!)

lester if u think if ur coming back tomorrow

im not going to eat this donut u are gravely

mistaken

>> From: Phil Lester (is amazing!!)

wow dan I cant believe you dan

actually no I can

I've got to get back to work

see you tomorrow?

>> To: Phil Lester (is amazing!!)

have fun

and yeah i'll still be here in this caffeinated

hell, so, see you, lester

Dan looked up from his phone as a trio walked in, chatting among themselves. He slipped his phone in his pocket (his back pocket this time, thanks a lot Phil) and threw a smile on his face. It was the easiest he had smiled all day.

[writers-leir]

college!wonwoo

there’s not much “college” in this sorry ;;

college!wonwoo

he majors in classical literature

and most people don’t know but he actually really loves his minor (which is music)

he seems super cold and distant but he’s just tired 99% of the time

Seungcheol’s asked him a few times why he doesn’t change majors if he loves his minor so much

but wonwoo just????doesn’t really have an answer to that he likes both equally and he finds the courses he took for his major pretty easy

you actually don’t have any classes with him (unfortunately )))))))):) but you see him in the library every single day

like you’ve started to question if he lives there because??????he’s always there even at the most,,,,,,bizarre times

you’re pretty sure you saw him wandering around at 3am as if he forgot that the library wasn’t open,,,,,,,,,,,,

but anyways

one day when you and your friends are studying in the library

you notice that wonwoo’s fallen asleep

and he has like seven books open around him with his earphones plugged into his computer and a highlighter still in his hands

and you’re like aklsdjgalksdgasdg did the idiot really,,,,,,forget to bring a jacket it’s the middle of fall he’s gonna catch a cold

and without even realizing it you’ve stood up, walked towards his table, and left your coat over him hoping he wouldn’t catch a cold

and all your friends are like ooooooOOOOoo,,,,,,,,,,is there something,,,,,,we should know??????

and you’re like aklsdjgkasdg no???????????? he just looks so cold he’s wearing a shirt in 10 degrees weather

when you’re walking back to your dorm with your best friend they’re like smiling suspiciously at you and you’re like omg what

“that was like something out of a drama”

you’re about to retort when they cut you off again, asking you how you’re gonna get the coat back and you’re like i,,,,,,,,,frankly did not think that far,,,,,,,,,,it’d be awkward to ask for it back right?

your best friend honestly finds it really funny they’re like lowkey laughing internally at you but you’re just like aksjdgklasdg stoppPppPpppppPPPPp help me figure out how to get my coat back

your friend shrugs and goes like “you could just say that,,,,,,it’s your friends? and that you’re asking it back for them?”

and it’s a really dumb plan but you’re like oK let’s DO THIS

your friend is internally screaming like omg no please don’t do that i was joking

the next day when you get to the library you notice that wonwoo has the coat on the chair next to him

and you’re like oK let’s do this

your friends notice you walking towards wonwoo and they’re like what is that idIOT DOING

you tap his shoulder to get his attention but as soon as he turns to look at you, you’re like abORT MISSION

because he looks?????????????so good?????????????

like he’s wearing those round glasses and his hair is messy and oh no you’re totally attracted to him

and unfortunately, because your brain has gone into a frenzy you accidentally blurt out “can i take my coat back?”

and wonwoo looks really confused until he realizes you’re pointing at the coat sitting in the chair beside him and he’s like “oh, is this yours?”

and you’re like ajksdhgalskjdg wHY did i TELL HIM THAT

you can barely manage a feeble nod because omg you idiot you had oNE JOB

wonwoo doesn’t say anything if he notices how embarrassed you are

he just hands you the coat back and gives you a super small smile while thanking you

you give him a nod back and start speed walking back to your friends and they’re like so????????what happened?????????????

they start howling with laughter when you tell them and you all get kicked out of the library and you feel as if you can’t get ANY more embarrassed because wonwoo definitely heard that

apparently you can because wonwoo starts avoiding you even though you never hung out????? like if you see each other on campus he turns and walks the other way even if it makes him late for class

and you notice that he leaves the library every time your friends and you go to study and returns only when you’ve all left

the worst part is that you know he’s avoiding you and not any of your friends because one time when you were covering a coworker’s shift your friends sent you a picture of wonwoo sitting at his usual table in the library

and it,,,,,,,hurts,,,,,,,,even though you don’t know him and he doesn’t know you

you actually stop going to the library because it upsets you so much to see him pack up his things as soon as you enter

and your friends all notice that you’ve stopped wearing the coat even though it was your favorite and the only other thing you had for winter was your bomber jacket which,,,,,,,,really does not help against the cold

half of your friends are like “you don’t know him though, so you shouldn’t feel so bad about it :/“ while the other half are like “just go talk to him? it’s not like you seriously offended him or something, right?”

and you really do want to talk to him but he disappears into thin air the second you see him

one of your friends one day goes to you and tells you that they can help and you’re like !!!!!!!!thank you!!!!!!!!!! but how?

turns out they have a course on basic public relations with boo seungkwan

and you’re like oh,,,i’ve seen him around a lot,,,,,,,is he a friend of wonwoo?

your friend shrugs

“i’ve seen them hanging sometimes, so i assumed that seungkwan would be his friend”

you agree to ask seungkwan for help

“careful what you tell him. seungkwan has a big mouth and a loud voice”

at first you’re like whATever as long as he can help

soon enough though you realize what a terrible idea that was

because somehow seungkwan also recruited the help of seokmin, vernon and soonyoung

(vernon claims he was recruited by force but everyone knows he just wants something to tease wonwoo about)

you actually become friends with vernon because he’s the only one actually relaying information to you

like seungkwan and seokmin and soonyoung just end up goofing off but vernon’s like i will find something

and one day as you’re walking to the library you run into vernon

and he’s like !!!!!!!!!!!!!where’s your coat!!!it’s hailing!!!!!!!!!!!!

and you’re standing in the hail/rain/wind with your bomber jacket and you’re like i,,,,,,,,forgot?

vernon rolls his eyes and uses his coat to cover you two as he rushes you to the library and you’re like thANK YOu my savior

he rolls his eyes at your silliness as you two sit down at one of the empty tables

and you don’t notice but wonwoo’s actually????????sitting near your table

and his eyes narrow when he sees you and vernon rush into the library laughing as quietly as you could

bUT vernon notices!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

and he also notices the way his hyung is staring at the back of your head

and occasionally sending him glares

and he’s like rip me wonwoo’s gonna kill me

he takes off his jacket and wraps it around you because your jacket is soaked it’s not helping you keep warm at all

and you’re like vernon,,,,are you,,,,,,,,,fALLING for me,,,,,,,,,

“psH no never-doN’T glare at me like that-nO i’m not insulting you-oh my gOD you’ll understand why in like five seconds-stOP GLARing at me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

only then do you notice wonwoo literally,,,,,,,towering behind you and you’re like asjdhgkasdjgaKJSAHDGLSDG WHAT

wonwoo literally doesn’t even acknowledge you though he’s just staring at vernon until the younger goes like oK geez i’m leaving

and you’re still so confused like what

wonwoo sits down next to you and you’re like hi??? do you need something?

“seungkwan told me that you think i’m avoiding you”

you’re cursing seungkwan in your head like that TRAITOR

obviously you try to play it off cool

“we don’t even know each other that well, so you can’t really be avoiding me”

“i was”

you stop your rant like,,,,,,,,,are you,,,,,,,,,,,,were you seriously avoiding me,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

wonwoo starts talking as soon as you stop and he’s like “i just thought you were really cute and i like you and it was embarrassing when your friends started laughing because of me and-“

you cut him off like “wait you thought my friends were laughing at you?????????omg i’m sorry no they were laughing at me”

and wonwoo’s kinda sitting there like,,,,,,,did you really miss the most important part of that sentence,,,,,,,,,,,,,

you’re staring back at him until you realize what he’s waiting for and you’re like o h!!!!!!!!!!!!

and suddenly you’re turning red like ajsdhglakjsdgasd “i like you too????????even though i don’t know you”

wonwoo gives you a smile and you’re like akshgdlakjsdg he’s so soft,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

“i know a cafe nearby that has discounts for couples,,,,,,,,would you like to go with me?”

and you’re like akldsjgklasdg yES? i would love to

as you and wonwoo rush to the cafe in the rain, wonwoo offers you his jacket but you’re like nah it’s fine i have vernon’s

“no as in don’t wear vernon’s. wear mine”

“but vernon's fits me better???”

“wear mine.”

“okay geez!”

when you return vernon’s jacket the next day a note falls out of the pocket

my girlfriend no longer requires your services

vernon honestly didn’t know how to feel like he wants to laugh but at the same time he knows that wonwoo will stab him if he didn't take the threat seriously

of course you get privileges so you burst out laughing and vernon’s like,,,,,help,,,,,,,,,

[nicodiangelbaby]

Happy Birthday Philly

Dan sat on his bed, impatiently looking at the clock every ten seconds to check the time. It was currently 11:40pm and there were only 20 minutes left until Phil's 30th birthday.  Phil was asleep in their shared bedroom, while Dan sat on his bed mindlessly scrolling through tumblr, looking at the 'happy birthday phil' posts that had already started appearing. Beside him sat the cup cake he had bought for Phil, because the other boy had insisted that they did not need a cake. Dan had not told him of his plan (it was meant to be a surprise) but had already warned him that if Dan ate most of it, Phil would only have himself to blame. Dan looked at the clock again, only 10 minutes were left until the clock struck 12. He got up from his position, his left pocket heavy with Phil's birthday gift, grabbed the  red velvet cupcake and some candles. He lit the candles, and grabbed the party popper he had kept especially for this very occasion. He walked to their shared bedroom, where Phil lay asleep unaware of Dan's presence. Dan looked at the time in his phone again, and saw that it was now 11:59pm. He sat on the bed beside Phil, careful to not move too much. Gently placing his hands on the older boy's shoulders, Dan shook him lightly. A small groan erupted from the soft pink lips whose taste and feel Dan knew all too well. The room was dark and the only source of light was the candles on the cupcake. Dan shook Phil again and whispered in a soft voice "get up Phil!". When Phil continued to ignore his labours, Dan promptly decided to take the matter into his own hands. He leaned against the bed, hands right near Phil's face, and suddenly burst the party popper in his face. Phil woke up with a start and a shrill shriek erupted from his lips. He quickly got up so that he was sitting on the bed, leaning against the bed frame. Rubbing his eyes in a languid manner now that he had visibly relaxed seeing that Dan was the cause of the noise, he asked in a husky voice, "What is it bear?". He didn't sound upset, only a bit tired and worried. He was used to getting woken up in the middle of the night by the sound of Dan's feet padding against the hall carpet as he paced the hallway at 3am, but Dan rarely woke Phil up on purpose at such an odd time of the night. "PHILLY!" Dan practically shrieked, his whole body emanating energy and happiness "It's your birthday!" He finished with a smile, shoving the cake (which had until now been hidden from his view behind Dan's back) in Phil's eyesight. Phil audibly gasped. Sure Dan did this every year and sure Dan was always the first one to wish him and shower him with love and kisses, but he had always saved the cake and presents for the next morning. It must be something special this year Phil thought. And his guess could not have been more accurate. Of course it was something special. But we'll get to that later. "Happy birthday philly" Dan repeated,  a huge smile plastered on his face, as though he was the one who was to receive presents. Phil's usual smile was so bright it could grow flowers, Dan had said so himself on many occasions, but the smile Phil gave him now was enough assurance that what he was about to do, what he had been planning to do for almost 3 months, was not a mistake. Phil blew out the candles, and darkness fell, for neither of these dorks had thought of switching on the light before. Phil laughed at their stupidity and got up to switch on the light. A gentle touch to the arm stopped him, and Dan got up, slinging his arms around Phil's waist. The moonlight shone through the window, just enough to illuminate their faces. Dan slowly leaned in to kiss his boyfriend, and just before their lips met he breathed out a "may I?". Phil smiled and close the gap between them, his answer clear from his actions. Their lips met in a slow and loving kiss, one that was not rushed or passionate, as if to say "I'm here. I'll always be here." Their tongues danced in beautiful harmony, tasting each other slowly. Dan's hands found their way to Phil's hair, and he curled his fingers around the ebony locks at the base of his neck. Phil arms hung losely around Dan's hips, and he pulled the younger boy closer. They broke away to breathe, and a crimson blush covered Dan's soft features. Phil smirked lightly, relishing in the fact that even after 7 years he still had the ability to reduce the brown haired boy to a blushing mess with just a kiss. He proceeded towards the switch board  (is that what they're called?) and turned on the light. The room was instantly illuminated by the florescent  light, and as Phil turned around, he was greeted by a sight the most fortunate people are greeted by only once in their lifetime. Dan crouched in front of him, a box in  his left hand, open, revealing the ring that lay inside it. Phil gasped, overcome with so many feelings, he didn't know what to say. Waves and waves of happiness and excitement crashed over him, and in no time he began to tear up. Before he could say something, Dan spoke up. "Phil, ever since the day I met you on the train station, I knew you were the one I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. Hell! I realised it before we even met. You have always been my inspiration, my protector, the love of my life. I was a depressed teenager with zero friends and no future, but you changed all of that Phil. You are the only reason I am where I am today. I'm not going to go into the details of how much you've helped me and cared for me because let's be honest I don't want to be sitting in this  painful position until 5am." Dan breathed out a soft chuckle. His voice was quivering, like it always did when he wasn't sure of what he was doing, or was nervous. Phil just stood there, frozen, a million thoughts rushing through his mind, and more than half of them were just his brain screaming "YES". Nevertheless, he let the the younger boy continue his speech- which- from living with him for 5 years, Phil knew was not a prepared speech. The boy was speaking straight from his heart and that was what touched Phil the most. "I have known you for 7 years, and there isn't one moment of those seven years that I regret. Sure I joke about regretting everything I do, but the one thing I don't regret - I will never regret- is messaging you on twitter. Because it got me a beautiful friend, and the best boyfriend. I love you Phil.  I love you so much. I love your stupid animal facts. I love your warm and welcoming hugs, I love your inability to cook without setting the whole flat on fire- because it gives me a reason to cook for you- I love your smile and your weird raps about Dil. I love loving with you. I love that you are a part of my life. I love EVERYTHING about you Phil. I love the way your tongue pokes out when you laugh. I love your ability to make me feel better about myself. I love you for your beautiful soul and I love your entire existence. The last year has made me realise how important you are to me and what an integral part of my life you are. I don't want to spend even a day of my life without you. If you say yes to the question I'm about to ask you, I will be more than happy to spend the rest of my life with you. So Phillip Michael Lester, will you marry me?" Dan ended his long speech with a breathless sigh as he usually did when he finished something he was nervous about. Phil said nothing. He stood there for a good 2 minutes just staring at Dan, his eyes glistening with tears and his lower lip quivering. His mind screamed "YES YES YES HOLY HELL YES" But his body seemed to have gone limp. Finally he found his tongue, and breathed out "yes". Dan's eyes lit up with a twinkle and a smile formed on his lips, one that showed his deep dimples that Phil loved. "Yes". Phil said again, in a more confident tone, a huge smile forming on his lips as well. Dan began to get up from the floor, but before he could stand up straight, Phil jumped onto him, hugging him tight, making them both fall to the ground in a giggling, blushing mess. The ring was still clutched in Dan's left hand, and Phil turned his gaze to it once, before smiling again and lightly pressing his lips to Dan's.  They broke apart after a few seconds, their cheeks flushed and breathing ragged. Dan sat up, sitting across from Phil. He quickly took the ring out of the box, taking Phil's left hand and quickly slipping the ring on. They just sat there, looking into each others eyes, sharp icy blue mixing with warm, inviting brown. They didn't have to say anything more, soft kisses were shared between them, ones that said "I'm here. And now it's definite that I'll always be here." After a few minutes Phil spoke,"So, you love me huh?" He proceeded to grab the cupcake from the bed, taking a small bite out of it. "Shut up you spork. I literally say that everyday." Dan took the cupcake from Phil, stuffing his face with a large bite. "But still" Dan giggled, his cheeks tinted pink and chapped lips stretched in a smile. "How did you decide you were going to do this?" Phil asked gently, nodding towards the ring. "I've wanted to do this for 2 years now, but I was always to scared to ask first. But then I figured... You're turning thirty, definitely you'd want something permanent right? And if you didn't want me we wouldn't be together after 7 years, so I just figured, I should ask you. " "Well you proved all the fanfiction writers wrong" Phil chuckled, referring to how most of their fans were certain that Phil would be the one to propose. "Don't laugh." Dan said with a chuckle, ruining the meaning of his statement. "I have been worrying about this for 3 months" "You really do overthink things" Phil mused. Dan just shoved him playfully. Phil looked at his ring again, it felt weird on his finger, but good weird. The weight felt reassuring to him, a physical promise to remind him that what Dan and he had was real. It was a platinum love band, and upon closer inspection one could see the words "this is the most fun I've ever had" engraved on it (because Dan was a cheesy little shit) "You're so cheesy Dan" Phil exclaimed, referring to the engraved words. He couldn't help but smile and feel greatful to have such a beautiful man in his life. "Shut up you love it", Dan retorted, and before Phil could manage another sassy remark, Dan had smothered him with a kiss. As they broke away from the kiss, Dan once again repeated, a cheeky grin evident on his face "Happy birthday you spork" "Thank you for the best birthday gift ever bear. " And neither of them regretted the promise they had made to each other on the night of the 30th of January, 2017. A/N so I usually post my stuff on wattpad (my wattpad is @/ fandomsarespooky) and this is my first time posting a fic on tumblr. My blog isn't really popular but I'd really appreciate feedback and reblogs. If you want me to write something then feel free to send in prompts!💕

[analizroses]

Not mine :This was written by nicodigaybaby from twitter. But it gave me major feels so I must share.

Dan sat on his bed, impatiently looking at the clock every ten seconds to check the time. It was currently 11:40pm and there were only 20 minutes left until Phil’s 30th birthday. Phil was asleep in their shared bedroom, while Dan sat on his bed mindlessly scrolling through tumblr, looking at the ‘happy birthday phil’ posts that had already started appearing. Beside him sat the cup cake he had bought for Phil, because the other boy had insisted that they did not need a cake. Dan had not told him of his plan (it was meant to be a surprise) but had already warned him that if Dan ate most of it, Phil would only have himself to blame. Dan looked at the clock again, only 10 minutes were left until the clock struck 12. He got up from his position, his left pocket heavy with Phil’s birthday gift, grabbed the red velvet cupcake and some candles. He lit the candles, and grabbed the party popper he had kept especially for this very occasion. He walked to their shared bedroom, where Phil lay asleep unaware of Dan’s presence. Dan looked at the time in his phone again, and saw that it was now 11:59pm. He sat on the bed beside Phil, careful to not move too much. Gently placing his hands on the older boy’s shoulders, Dan shook him lightly. A small groan erupted from the soft pink lips whose taste and feel Dan knew all too well. The room was dark and the only source of light was the candles on the cupcake. Dan shook Phil again and whispered in a soft voice “get up Phil!”. When Phil continued to ignore his labours, Dan promptly decided to take the matter into his own hands. He leaned against the bed, hands right near Phil’s face, and suddenly burst the party popper in his face. Phil woke up with a start and a shrill shriek erupted from his lips. �He quickly got up so that he was sitting on the bed, leaning against the bed frame. Rubbing his eyes in a languid manner now that he had visibly relaxed seeing that Dan was the cause of the noise, he asked in a husky voice, “What is it bear?”. He didn’t sound upset, only a bit tired and worried. He was used to getting woken up in the middle of the night by the sound of Dan’s feet padding against the hall carpet as he paced the hallway at 3am, but Dan rarely woke Phil up on purpose at such an odd time of the night. “PHILLY!” Dan practically shrieked, his whole body emanating energy and happiness “It’s your birthday!” He finished with a smile, shoving the cake (which had until now been hidden from his view behind Dan’s back) in Phil’s eyesight. Phil audibly gasped. Sure Dan did this every year and sure Dan was always the first one to wish him and shower him with love and kisses, but he had always saved the cake and presents for the next morning. It must be something special this year Phil thought. And his guess could not have been more accurate. Of course it was something special. But we’ll get to that later. “Happy birthday philly” Dan repeated, a huge smile plastered on his face, as though he was the one who was to receive presents. Phil’s usual smile was so bright it could grow flowers, Dan had said so himself on many occasions, but the smile Phil gave him now was enough assurance that what he was about to do, what he had been planning to do for almost 3 months, was not a mistake. Phil blew out the candles, and darkness fell, for neither of these dorks had thought of switching on the light before. �Phil laughed at their stupidity and got up to switch on the light. A gentle touch to the arm stopped him, and Dan got up, slinging his arms around Phil’s waist. The moonlight shone through the window, just enough to illuminate their faces. Dan slowly leaned in to kiss his boyfriend, and just before their lips met he breathed out a “may I?”. Phil smiled and close the gap between them, his answer clear from his actions. Their lips met in a slow and loving kiss, one that was not rushed or passionate, as if to say “I’m here. I’ll always be here.” �Their tongues danced in beautiful harmony, tasting each other slowly. Dan’s hands found their way to Phil’s hair, and he curled his fingers around the ebony locks at the base of his neck. Phil arms hung losely around Dan’s hips, and he pulled the younger boy closer. They broke away to breathe, and a crimson blush covered Dan’s soft features. Phil smirked lightly, relishing in the fact that even after 7 years he still had the ability to reduce the brown haired boy to a blushing mess with just a kiss. He proceeded towards the switch board (is that what they’re called?)�and turned on the light. The room was instantly illuminated by the florescent light, and as Phil turned around, he was greeted by a sight the most fortunate people are greeted by only once in their lifetime. Dan crouched in front of him, a box in his left hand, open, revealing the ring that lay inside it. Phil gasped, overcome with so many feelings, he didn’t know what to say. Waves and waves of happiness and excitement crashed over him, and in no time he began to tear up. Before he could say something, Dan spoke up. “Phil, ever since the day I met you on the train station, I knew you were the one I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. Hell! I realised it before we even met. You have always been my inspiration, my protector, the love of my life. I was a depressed teenager with zero friends and no future, but you changed all of that Phil. You are the only reason I am where I am today. I’m not going to go into the details of how much you’ve helped me and cared for me because let’s be honest I don’t want to be sitting in this painful position until 5am.” Dan breathed out a soft chuckle. His voice was quivering, like it always did when he wasn’t sure of what he was doing, or was nervous. �Phil just stood there, frozen, a million thoughts rushing through his mind, and more than half of them were just his brain screaming “YES”. Nevertheless, he let the the younger boy continue his speech- which- from living with him for 5 years, Phil knew was not a prepared speech. The boy was speaking straight from his heart and that was what touched Phil the most. “I have known you for 7 years, and there isn’t one moment of those seven years that I regret. Sure I joke about regretting everything I do, but the one thing I don’t regret - I will never regret- is messaging you on twitter. Because it got me a beautiful friend, and the best boyfriend. �I love you Phil. I love you so much. I love your stupid animal facts. I love your warm and welcoming hugs, I love your inability to cook without setting the whole flat on fire- because it gives me a reason to cook for you- I love your smile and your weird raps about Dil. I love loving with you. I love that you are a part of my life. I love EVERYTHING about you Phil. I love the way your tongue pokes out when you laugh. I love your ability to make me feel better about myself. I love you for your beautiful soul and I love your entire existence. The last year has made me realise how important you are to me and what an integral part of my life you are. I don’t want to spend even a day of my life without you. If you say yes to the question I’m about to ask you, I will be more than happy to spend the rest of my life with you. So Phillip Michael Lester, will you marry me?” Dan ended his long speech with a breathless sigh as he usually did when he finished something he was nervous about. Phil said nothing. He stood there for a good 2 minutes just staring at Dan, his eyes glistening with tears and his lower lip quivering. His mind screamed “YES YES YES HOLY HELL YES” But his body seemed to have gone limp. Finally he found his tongue, and breathed out “yes”. Dan’s eyes lit up with a twinkle and a smile formed on his lips, one that showed his deep dimples that Phil loved. “Yes”. Phil said again, in a more confident tone, a huge smile forming on his lips as well. Dan began to get up from the floor, but before he could stand up straight, Phil jumped onto him, hugging him tight, making them both fall to the ground in a giggling, blushing mess. The ring was still clutched in Dan’s left hand, and Phil turned his gaze to it once, before smiling again and lightly pressing his lips to Dan’s. They broke apart after a few seconds, their cheeks flushed and breathing ragged. Dan sat up, sitting across from Phil. He quickly took the ring out of the box, taking Phil’s left hand and quickly slipping the ring on. They just sat there, looking into each others eyes, sharp icy blue mixing with warm, inviting brown. They didn’t have to say anything more, soft kisses were shared between them, ones that said “I’m here. And now it’s definite that I’ll always be here.” After a few minutes Phil spoke,“So, you love me huh?” He proceeded to grab the cupcake from the bed, taking a small bite out of it.�“Shut up you spork. I literally say that everyday.” Dan took the cupcake from Phil, stuffing his face with a large bite.�“But still”�Dan giggled, his cheeks tinted pink and chapped lips stretched in a smile. “How did you decide you were going to do this?” Phil asked gently, nodding towards the ring.�“I’ve wanted to do this for 2 years now, but I was always to scared to ask first. But then I figured… You’re turning thirty, definitely you’d want something permanent right? And if you didn’t want me we wouldn’t be together after 7 years, so I just figured, I should ask you. ” “Well you proved all the fanfiction writers wrong” Phil chuckled, referring to how most of their fans were certain that Phil would be the one to propose. “Don’t laugh.” Dan said with a chuckle, ruining the meaning of his statement. “I have been worrying about this for 3 months” “You really do overthink things” Phil mused.�Dan just shoved him playfully. Phil looked at his ring again, it felt weird on his finger, but good weird. The weight felt reassuring to him, a physical promise to remind him that what Dan and he had was real. It was a platinum love band, and upon closer inspection one could see the words “this is the most fun I’ve ever had” engraved on it (because Dan was a cheesy little shit)�“You’re so cheesy Dan” Phil exclaimed, referring to the engraved words. He couldn’t help but smile and feel greatful to have such a beautiful man in his life.�“Shut up you love it”, Dan retorted, and before Phil could manage another sassy remark, Dan had smothered him with a kiss.�As they broke away from the kiss, Dan once again repeated, a cheeky grin evident on his face “Happy birthday you spork”�“Thank you for the best birthday gift ever bear. ”�And neither of them regretted the promise they had made to each other on the night of the 30th of January, 2017.