#well its hard to even say shes the god of justice when she seems to prioritize being cool or smthhh

[jils-things]

fontaine stuff blahblah

before the trial even started i was like. "watch. the twins are going to be not what they seem." AND I WAS RIGHTTTTTT OUUHHHHHH I DIDN'T THINK THEY'RE FATUI BRUHHHHH‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️ I KNEW THEY HAD SOMETHING TO DO WITH THE KNAVE BUT NOT LIKE THISSSSSS

THE WHOLE COURT GIMMICK IS MY FAV FOREVER. IT GIVES ME SO MUCH ACE ATTORNEY AND DNGRNP VIBES ITS SOOOO 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

LIKE THISSSS FUCKS SEVERELY UGHHH the court record thing reminds me of aa so much and then the CRIME RECAP (SEE IMAGE) IS DEFINITELY THE CLOSING REMARKS FROM DNGRNP LIKE DHHDHFHDHDSS MY GOOUYDGHH I LOVE IT SO MUCH

MY HUMSS ASS IS SHAKING ‼️‼️‼️‼️

[that1geek06]

Hello!

Could you write something with teen!reader and the Avengers where reader got in a fight with his sibling, says something he regrets, and then the Avengers encourage him to apologize and tell reader that he's not a horrible person?

That would be awesome. If you can't, no worries! I'm excited to see what your writing style is like.

Have a good day/night

-V

AHHHH OMG YESS I love this idea, I had a big fight with my sibling not to long ago so lets see how this goes, I hope I do your daydream justice, this is my first one so I'm sorry if its absolute garbago 😭 ANYWAYS enjoyy

-SIBLING RIVALRY-

Avengers X Teen! Male! Reader (Platonic)

Warnings- Angst (I'm not entirely sure how warnings go so pls lmk if I missed one)

Y/N sat at the dining room table, the sound of the ticking clock seeming to make his nerves even more on edge then they were. He grips the roots of his hair tightly as he stared at all the study guides and previous home work assignments, hoping that it will all be engraved into his brain by this coming Monday.

He sighs heavily, finals week was always the worst especially since he has his internship on the line with these scores. Now don't get it wrong Y/N wasn't like Peter Parker, using the internship as a cover for the teen hero to help and slowly join the Avengers. No, Y/N was just a normal kid, sure he was smarter than most but he wish he could just focus on training and hacking rather than why Avogadros number was still accurate when being used in modern day chemistry.

While sitting there the front door opens, and his older sister walks in. Y/N pays no attention his head not even moving up to see who entered which he knows Nat would say is an ignorant move.

"Its nice to see you too Y/N, and thanks for asking, my day was just fantastic, how about you?" Sarah said sarcastically, standing on the other side of the table and watching with a raised brow as she waited for a response.

He mumbled a fine in response, eyes never wavering from their focus on the many papers. In which his sister scoffs, "I get your stressing about these tests but you could show a bit of respect you know."

"Please stop bothering me Sarah I'm trying to focus.." Y/N says dryly, ignoring the oldest comment.

"I would just like to actually get some attention from you, I barely see you because of our schedules and your always to busy now a days-"

"Oh my god, what is so hard to understand about the words Stop. Bothering. Me. I'm trying to focus." He snaps back, finally looking up at her with an annoyed glare. To which Sarah gives one back.

"Well sorry if I come home and I want to talk to the only family I have." Y/N scoffs at her words, "Oh so now your trying to guilt trip me."

She straightens her stance and takes a deep breath, "I just want-"

"No, just shut up, SHUT UP FOR ONCE IN YOUR LIFE! GODDAMN CAN'T YOU SEE I'M TRYING TO SEE I HAVE A GOOD LIFE INSTEAD OF ENDING UP WITH SOME WAITRESS JOB AND IN A SHITTY APARTMENT! I NEVER ASK YOU TO TAKE ME IN AND HONESTLY I WISH YOU NEVER DID!" He looks up and sees his sister just staring at the ground and he scoffs, "You're not even going to listen to a word I say like normal! Whatever I'm wasting my breath. I'm going to the tower where people know how to leave me alone when I'm busy."

He quickly grabs his papers, stuffing them into his bag and storming out of the apartment, slamming the door behind him.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Y/N finally makes it to the Avenger tower and heads straight to the elevator, using his keycard to get to the upper floors.

You see, while he wasn't a hero he was still close to the team, his talent made him stand out in the lad and Tony Stark himself took an interest and introduced him to the team. Since then he's been surprisingly close the Earth's mightiest hero's.

The elevator opens to the Avengers living area, Bucky and Steve sitting on the long couch watching an old 80s movie that was still on the list of things to catch up on.

He stomps through the room, going to the empty kitchen area and taking a seat, dropping his book bag and immediately going back to studying.

Bucky and Steve share a questioning look with each other. But before they could say anything Tony and Nat walk in, both were somehow roped into the binging with the super soldiers.

"What's up with sour face over there?" Tony teases, eating a handful of freshly popped popcorn as he takes a seat on the couch.

Steve shrugs, "He just walked in like that, we aren't sure what's wrong."

The 4 of them watch as Y/N's face slowly changes from anger to guilt. His attention seeming to not even be on his work.

Bucky pauses the show and stands, walking over to the sulking teen as the others follow. They all take a seat at the table, concerned and wondering what was the matter.

"You alright kid?" Bucky asks with a worried expression.

Y/N looks away, feeling his eyes start to water as he shook his head. "I think I screwed up, big time." He says in a wobbly voice.

Natasha gives a small encouraging smile, "I'm sure it can't be that bad, why don't you tell us, maybe something can be worked out."

The rest nod in agreement but Y/N just keeps shaking his head. "No, there's no fixing this, I...I was really stressing about my studies and my sister came home. She didn't even do anything wrong she just wanted to talk."

He takes a deep breath, voice shaking as he tries to hold in his emotion, "I wasn't thinking straight and I yelled at her. I told her to shut up, how I wanted a better life than her and I wished she didn't take me in. I didn't mean it at all...I'm such a shitty brother."

Y/N's shoulders slump as he sits there, regretting everything he did.

"Listen kid, I know you think nothing will make what you did better but she's your sister for a reason, sure you made her feel bad-" Steve hits Tony's shoulder at those words, glaring at him before he goes on, "But she'll forgive you in the end, you just have to tell her your sorry."

The 4 look at Tony in surprise and he rolls his eyes, "I get I don't a lot but is me giving this advice really that unbelievable?" Y/N smiles at that, looking at them all while thinking.

"...Do you really think she won't hate me for it?"

He asks softly. Steve smiles and puts a comforting hand on the teens shoulder. "We know she won't."

With a new sense of determination, Y/N stands and grabs his things. Swinging his bag onto his shoulder, "Then I'll go do it now." He heads to the elevator and calls it up. While waiting he looks over at the 4 Avengers, a grateful look in his eyes.

"Thank you, for the advice and everything." He says, and Natasha smirks at him, "They call us hero's for a reason." Y/N laughs, and enters the elevator, the doors slowly close as he starts heading down. Ready to make things right.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Bucky looks over at Tony, an angered look on his face. "So are you going to take your own advice and apologize for turning my shampoo into pink hair dye?"

Steve and Natasha starts laughing as Tony groans, "Number one it was temporary so don't get those super soldier panties of yours in a twist, and number two, I'm not apologizing for something as funny as that."

Bucky lunges at Tony who quickly jumps out of his seat and starts running. He was determined to get that apology, even if he had to squeeze it out of the cocky bastard.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I HOPED YOU LIKED IT, I enjoyed how it came out, let me know what you goobers thoughtt,

[bonefall]

What are the four seasonal gods like generally? Sol seems to just be A Little Bit Chaotic, Midnight is said to be benevolent, but what about Rock and One Eye? (I know One Eye requires sacrifices? But ig that wouldn't necessarily make him malicious? Idk fsgcghdfj)

I'd like to learn more in general! Gods and mythology go brrrrr

ALL of them can actually take sacrifices, it just so happens that only Sol and One Eye have actually done it in the timeframe of BB.

It doesn't HAVE to be blood either, it can be anything of value. Sol and One Eye are just like that.

SOL

He gets bored easily.

It's not that he's evil, he's just self-absorbed. Everything is about having fun.

He really was a pretty terrible god, though. Fallenleaf comes to learn his services are in high demand, and he was really needed.

You might think he's vengeful, but he's not. If you beat him according to the rules they agreed on, that's winning fair and square.

I feel like he feels kind of bad he abandoned Harry so quickly, like he knows it was a dick move and he kiiiiinda doesn't want to think about it.

Something about him is more mortal than anyone realizes, but even I'm not sure how. He's strange compared to other gods, as if he didn't lose himself in the ascension to godhood.

Ironic for a God of Change.

MIDNIGHT

Is lonely. So lonely.

She can give you eternal life, but no one ever takes it. Why does no one ever take it?

But she's too nice to overstay her welcome or defy a request. And too cowardly to explore the world and find more people who leave eventually.

So she just stays in her den by the ocean, hosting all who pass through.

Minds her own business and draws cats to her as visitors.

Fallenleaf liked her at first, but has actually grown a negative view of her. Midnight wants something and won't go get it, using her immense power to just stare at the ocean.

What a waste!

I feel like she keeps a distance from mortals because she feels like she has some kind of obligation to not interfere. Besides, what good is a god no one wants to visit?

Shouldn't people WANT to go out of their way to seek her wisdom??

(And then she drags them towards her anyway lmao. Actually a very funny character. I have thoughts about her)

ONE EYE

He likes to see what words people use for him.

He likes to see what people call upon him, too.

This entity is not one who forces himself upon the land. He simply comes when he is called and they call him evil. Another one of his many names, he says.

At leaaaast... that's what he says. He is a VERY vindictive being when he feels slighted. If you declare war upon him, he will finish it.

"Scorched Earth" translates directly.

He can be incredibly cordial though. Surprisingly so. I actually have been thinking of having him visit each Clan in Thunderstar's Justice, meeting with its leaders, testing who would be his greatest partner.

During Hollyleaf's Century, Lion's Roar summoned him with a certain number of sacrifices.

But once One Eye moved into his body as a vessel, he didn't let go.

He was still using Lion's Roar as a vessel in DOTC. Lion's Roar had lost all control of his body, practically hollowed out.

I have a really clear feeling of his personality but it's hard to put into words. He's charming. He's well-spoken. His words smell like roses and sound like trickling blood. He asks to be invited and refuses to leave. If you offend him he will destroy you. He is interested in you. He watches hungrily like a snake.

And he ate Tom, partially because he was delicious, but primarily because he was a disobedient and disrespectful rat who did not know his place.

Star Flower is expected to know her place, too. She serves him. He is kind to her, and she loves him, but if she has to give up her life for him-- he expects her service.

As a god of war, sun, and fire, he's every bit as dangerous as you think he is.

You don't kill Gods. You trick them. Sun Shadow tricked him, seeing his body was unstable, and challenged,

"You are not the sun. Behold the sun that shines above us! It is there and you are here!"

"Haa. Your taunt shall not work. I am the sun and I shine just as bright."

"You do not shine now. I see no shine."

"Then behold!"

And that's how Sun Shadow got the guy to explode himself inside his shitty battered vessel LMAO

I have this full story in my head I just need to write it out tbh.

AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST

ROCK

He wants to be left alone. He does not like you

He wasn't always this way. He is a god of measurement, archival, the night sky, memory. Quintessence and moonbeams, that which subsisteth, and what seems.

And once upon a time, he hosted a trial for those who wished to be his temporary vessels. Going down into the tunnels wasn't a trial for ALL warriors, just those who sought his ancient knowledge.

Once upon a time, he believed that the purpose of knowledge was to be shared, but only to those who would do right with it. He chose his vessels carefully and benevolently.

But what happened in Hollyleaf's Century changed him. It killed him. A selfish tyrant, the actions of her opposition, the senseless destruction of the victorians humans...

And then his vessel, Jay's Wing, was murdered. He felt him die and he couldn't save him; he's just a god of truth. Not of affecting it.

He's kinda got Sotha Sil vibes. His last big action was burying his vessel and casting a great spell upon a patch of Old Growth forest in what's now ThunderClan; the humans did not see it for many years, as if it simply wasn't important.

When the illusion faded, the humans simply believed they had not noticed it, or had underestimated its size.

Funfact: humans have big brains and lots of meat and are easy to disorient. That patch has a reputation for confusing people, hikers get lost there a lot.

Doesn't like people. Especially doesn't like Sol or Fallenleaf, refusing to distinguish that they are two different entities.

"You won't be, eventually. No I won't help you avoid that fate. Fuck you"

Has a softness for Jayfeather in particular and no one else. He would have let Hollypaw and those kits drown if he wasn't part of the group, that day.

But also Jay knows how to annoy him. If it wasn't for the fact he was the reincarnation of his beloved and tragically killed Final Vessel, he would have let him drown long ago.

Lightly malicious, in a way. Doesn't value mortal life. Mean.

Kinda ironic that Jay's reincarnation is more like Rock in this life than he is to Jay's Wing. Rock would lament that his influence has ruined him.

[nyxnephilim]

Time for a bit of FFXIV speculation :

I realize that a bulk of FFXIV players have already completed the whole of the story arc ( probably more than one time ) so please don't hold it against this 🌱 while I think-out-loud about my feelings towards the story so far even if I'm still experiencing ARR.

( also pls no spoilers, but I appreciate encouragement and assurance my questions will get answered. Lol )

Somethings have been picking at my brain since I encountered them. One of which is when the Amal'Jaa are surprised we do not fall to tempering stating our "soul must belong to another" and then Ifrit himself says that while he can see we do not already serve a primal that the paragons warned the Primals about the godless-blessed one's aborrent existence. Does that mean that while we may or may not be tempered by a primal we are controlled/ guided by some 'other' thing outside the paragons or the 12. If we are being Guided/controlled by what we don't quite understand but is big enough or strong enough for the paragons & primals to worry about —- should we be worried about its overall motive & can it truly be benevolent and omniscient with that much power? Does it seek to follow through with its own agenda regardless of the plight of others.

The reason I say this is because of another encounter that seems to stick in my mind. A point in which Y'stola chastises Merlwyb for breaking the treaty with the Kolbolds. She basically says and has a solid point (that I had already thought of before this scene) when she tells Merlwyb that this constant war with the Kobolds was of her own doing in letting Lominsans break the treaty. The kolbolds are just defending themselves. Or course there is an a back and forth that ensues but the point being both Merlwyb and the Kobolds are doing what they believe to be right for justice sake and for the sake & safety of their people.

I extrapolated this further. What makes us, the scions, so sure that what WE are doing is right? Because a giant crystal says so? We kill gods/primals and move against another society that perhaps (outside of their military) could possibly be wanting freedom and peace like those of Eorzea do. What of the Garlemald society? They can't be all military. Its not hard to believe that there are some suffering at our hands because of what their military decided to do, not them. I guess essentially what I'm saying is, how are we so certain we are not falsely lead to believe what we do is just and right when what we do is kill gods/primals, murder tribes on sight because of who they are and pushing our agenda on them. There is point where there is a kobold says that those of their community at war with us do not represent the whole of their society. … and I hear that the crafting questline with the different tribes show us that not all of the their race want to fight. So is it hard to reason that perhaps not all Ishgardians hate dragons? That not all dragons hate the elezen. That not all Garleans follow their military and that perhaps what we perceive as right may only be a perspective of one cosmologic being with enough power to have us believe in what they want?

on top of the fact that the Ascians say ' if we knew more, that we wouldn't be fighting with them.... that we would basically understand’ ... leaves me feeling 🤯

What the hell is going on? I know mother crystal is our main guide... but tbh I'm feeling pretty sus about things and honestly the motives of Hydaelyn. I realize they are presenting her as a mothering ‘goddess’ but I’ve always been the type of kid to ask “why”

The answer of ‘just because’ … ‘because I said so’….. ‘because this is how it’s always been done’ ….. ‘because I’m the boss’…..

Has NEVER sat well with me. As a kid or now. With my parents, with teachers, with management or upper level bosses. I need to know the why, the motives, the implications or consequences, the benefits. I need this information because the end does not always justify the means. Especially if on a core level I disagree with it and feel there is an alternate route.

That probably says more about me then I intended but yeah… lol

... anyhow.... thank you for letting me just babble on about the beginning of this ( I'm sure to be ) wild ride we all know and love called FFXIV.

:::: Newbie rant over ::::

[imauthicktic]

Just read the Leo one and OHOHOHOHO love your style!! If it's ok, could I request an oneshot for dbd Wesker with a kinda new survivor reader who is very persistent. No matter how many times they die or get tunneled they always try to save everyone or try to give a hard time to Wesker (even if they dont really know how to do that yet) and the match where they finally manage to escape, but insteand of being mean they smile and say how well Wesker did before going back to the camp.

OMG thank youuuu <333

I've never followed Wesker much so I hope I did him some justice!! I've seen the movies but its been a while lol.

Anyways... Here's the short scenario I made for you!!

Made this a gender-neutral reader as well.

Description: the reader is super persistent in trying to help their friends and always manages to best Wesker.

Wesker x gn!reader

Again… again… and again. You constantly try to be one step ahead of Wesker during trials. He’s tired of you always managing to be out of reach even when you’re grabbing someone off a hook, you slip right between his fingers. He’s losing his patience and you never seem to grow tired of always playing the hero. He sees how often you take care of the other survivors and most of them return the favor, but there’s always the select few that are too much of a coward to help you when you do so much for them. If he didn’t find you so annoyingly admirable he would do his best to torture you outside of trials. 

You were in your third consecutive trial at the moment and quite frankly you’re getting tired. You weren’t here for very long. Only recently being brought to this realm. You were always a caring person before the Entity grabbed you. You were a trauma nurse in the military before you were here. Being brought here didn’t change the way you care for others in the trial. 

You were helping Adam with a generator when all of a sudden it exploded. You jumped back with a yelp. Going around the generator you grab Adam and start running.Hearing a scream in the distance and without a moment of hesitation you run towards it. “(Y/N), go ahead and grab them. I'm going to try and find another generator and fix it so we can get out of here.” Adam yelled behind you. You turned and waved your hand in acknowledgement and continued towards the scream. You turn the corner and see Jane on the hook. She sees you and sighs in relief and then winces the next second. “Thank god (Y/N), get me off this thing.” You quickly get to work and grab her off the hook. 

Little did you know Wesker was waiting for you to grab her, giving him enough time to grab you once she runs off. His plan worked out a little too well, because here you were, in his grasp. “It’s about time I get my hands on you, rat.” Wesker spit out. You’re turned around in his grasp and you’re face-to-face with him. “Well… if it isn’t my favorite person.” You chuckle with a little tremble in your voice. He sneered and threw you over his shoulder. You’re kicking trying to get off. You always thought about what you would do if you were finally caught by him. 

You thought he was a bit handsome and always wondered what was under those glasses of his… Looks like it’s time to find out. You pushed yourself up quickly and toppled over onto the ground. There was no way he was going to try and struggle with you. He can just grab you again. What he didn’t expect was for you to grab him by his shoulders and take him to the ground with you rolling on top of him with strength he didn’t know you possessed. You quickly grabbed his glasses and ran off with a giggle and a loud “Gotchya glasses.” 

You heard the hatch open as you were running away at top speed. You dropped a palette, which you knew got Wesker as he nearly roared in anger. You kept pushing forward and as soon you saw the gate you powered through and pushed forward. You had to hurry, the gate was about to close… so close, you let out a little yell as you slide underneath the gate as it closes, just to look up and see Wesker on the other side. You stand up and put your hands up as you face him.

“Good run today, Wesker. You got my blood pumping in just the right way.” you wink. He has the smallest smirk on his face as you walk closer to the gate and look him in the eyes. You grab his glasses and reach over to put them back on his face. For some reason, he let you. Not before grabbing your wrist with a firm hand, his tentacles wrapping around your arm and gently poking your cheek. “I won’t let what happened today happen again, little mouse.” You gave a small laugh, “Sure thing, hot stuff.” He had already unwrapped himself from your arm and walked back into the fog. 

You look forward to dealing with him again, you smiled and walked towards the survivors camp. Little did you know you are marked territory after that match.

I hope you liked it! Lmk what yall think!!

Requests are open!!

[thecameronchronicles]

Blow My Mind

TW: Smut. Oral sex. Language.

SUMMARY: You give JJ his first blowjob. 

WORD COUNT:

*Requested*

Anonymous asked:

Request🤍 reader blowing jj for the first time (not her first ever just the first w jj) and he’s all you don’t have to if you don’t want to but she does it and jj finds out she doesn’t have a gag reflex and he just loses his mind

((Maybe also from jj pov)) love your writing btw

*HI! I’M SO EXCITED FOR THIS ONE! HOPE I DO IT JUSTICE! THANKS FOR THE SUPPORT! XO*

Blow My Mind

How could I not think about it when her kiss alone made my head spin? Naturally, my mind conjured the idea of those lips traveling lower, those beautiful and full eyes keeping to my reactions as she’d take me to the extent of her reflex. My fingers wrapped in her hair as her cheeks hollowed and she gagged-nope, I didn’t think about it at all…or at least, I tried not to. But every time she straddled me, rising and falling enough to bring that adorable and innocent giggle from behind a contradictingly sinful smirk, the need for more always made me almost desperate. The things I would do for this girl, all for her touch. Even something as stupid as a brush of her fingers running through my hair. Yep…I’m so goddamn whipped…

“JJ?” She called breathlessly from my neck, my eyes having fallen closed in basking in how those small pecks that had begun on my skin were now leaving hickies for everyone to see tomorrow. My lids came open with hesitance as I found her playing with the belt separating me from her, my cock already begging for attention that it seemed she was considering giving. 

“Can you take these off-”

“Can I..” I tried to repeat her question for validation as she nodded, my arm lifting her high enough to keep her close while obeying her request. Immediately, her eyes illuminated with eager enlightenment as she would grind against me, her lips returning to my neck, but softer this time, clearly doing so for a purpose while her fingers moved beneath my shirt, gently clawing at my chest. And no matter how hard I tried, those damned groans escaped from my attempts to keep them caged, worsening as she would smirk against my skin, well aware of her affect on me. 

When she pulled away, however, there was a specific mischief behind her eyes I’d never seen before. And I was naive enough to believe it still came from a place of such innocence. How could you blame me? The girl blushed whenever sex was mentioned in any other setting, but the second she was alone with me, she was working out every single one of her daddy issues on my body. And me? The willing participant, all too eager to allow her whatever rush she needed. 

But this-THIS was too much. The positioning of her to her knees was enough to make me come, my cock twitching at the sight of her preparing for what I’d imagined a thousand times over. Because this was more than sex, there wasn’t anything in it for her. She was doing this for me and I had to repress every natural response my body had long enough for it to be worth my while as I wasn’t sure how often of an occurrence this would be. 

“You-you don’t have to, you know…” I spoke with chivalry as she would position her elbows on my knees before pulling me from my boxers. 

“I want to, JJ…I want to make you come…” My eyes fought to stay open to her words. Hearing her say them felt so wrong as my body reacted to the breath on my dick, already tearing up for her. 

“You’re always so good to me…” She pressed a kiss on its tip, my body jolting forward to the tongue that made this a French kiss, sliding across my slit and forcing more precum to her palate. 

“I wanna be good to you…”

“Shit…” I breathed deeply as he rhand came to a wrap at my base, removing this grip long enough to make me naked from the waist down, where she returned to pin my legs with her elbows, with a new flicker of enthusiasm behind her eyes. 

“I just want to ask one thing-”

“Oh my God, anything-” I offered, truly willing to go to any lengths necessary for whatever it was she was about to ask for. Even if it would be illegal-which if I was honest, wouldn’t exactly stop me without the promise of what she was offering. But for her, I would do it without a care of what came after. All for her…

She chuckled to my quick and desperate response before explaining her condition. 

“I want you to tell me when you come…I want to know that I’m doing a good job…” She ran her fingers up my thighs as I tensed beneath her, my eyes somewhere between closed and in a glare as I could only nod. 

The second that she took me between her lips my mind went blank of anything but the sensation. Warm. Wet. A slow succession that quickened as I groaned in approval. Then the most innocent of moans to leave her innocent litlt elips tainted by this action-and I fucking lived for it. I didn’t know what my purpose was in life as the philosophical shit was saved more for Kie and Pope, but at this moment, I know SHE was made for this-for me, and I was made to live in this moment with her. 

Her eyes never leaving me as she took me to the depth of her throat, my own gaze waiting for that retching of a gag I had come to expect. But it never came. She didn’t have a goddamn gag reflex! When she saw the surprise on my face when realizing this, she moved faster, taking me completely to my base, only labored breathing and a teary gaze having shown the effect I had on her as I repressed the urge to spill down her throat with every pump. 

“Shit…” She nodded, her nails eating into my naked thigh as she didn’t even use her hands. Fuck, she WAS trying to kill me, I was certain of it…But if I were to die…It would be happily, if this were the means to my end. 

But I wanted it to last. I needed it to last. To prove something silently between us. But as I attempted to think of the least sexual things I could, every time my cock would be met with a lack of a gag had only taken my fingers harshly against the fabric of the couch. When noticing how I struggled, trying to keep my curses at bay as I groaned into my shoulder, she would lead my hand through your hair. 

“Pull it…” She breathed as I was quick to allow my tension to come through this way, still careful to not hurt her, but holding her firm enough to keep the strands from her face. 

“Fuck, princess, I’m not gonna last-”

“Good…I want you to come JJ…For me…” Those two words ‘for me’ were always enough to make me risk and relinquish anything if it meant making her happy. But while she was on her knees for me, my cock returned to her throat, I was a man on a mission. Whatever she wanted, she would have. No matter the consequences. 

“FUCKING SHIT!” I belted as her mouth suddenly retracted and her tongue ran  lines at my balls, painfully heavy and the cock above flexing for the sensation it allowed. A massage of sorts that felt electric to my core. She would retreat when I had begun to tremble, looking up at me with pride, as I pulled her to my lips, needing to thank her, if this had been the only means I could without reciprocation due to my own desperation for continuation. 

“Are you close?” I nodded, ashamed as she would stroke me slowly, no need for lubrication as I was weeping for her touch, for mouth, shit, she could probably just look at my cock at this point and I would’ve come for her. 

“You don’t have to uhm…I can use my hand to finish-”

“You think I’m done?” She bit her bottom lip, lowering back to my head. 

“I’m not done until I swallow, J…I’m thorough…for you…” My eyes rolled as she took me again, this time, relentless and almost angrily as my moans and curses fell in the same accordance to each breath. My fingers held her hair tight as I bucked into her, my head bowing in submission to the rush taking me over. No matter the thoughts I attempted to pull forward to prolong this release, it was rushing too quickly to object. 

“I’m gonna-I’m gonna come…It’s right-FUCK!” This was heaven. This release. Her capturing it. And me hovering above her to watch her lift with teary eyes made possible by her own ambition made me certain this was heaven. The sound of her swallowing me only added to this, forcing my cock to twitch once again, as she would remain on her knees, an innocent expression now looking up at me as if waiting for me to speak. 

“So?”

“What the fuck was that?” She chuckled. 

“Did you like it? Was I…okay?”

“Okay?! There isn’t a word for what you are…I’m sure Pope has one but…He’s never gonna find out for himself…” I spoke quickly, not wanting anybody else to know how she felt or looked on her knees. Damn, just the thought made me need her again. But not for my own release, but to give her her own. 

“But now…it’s my turn-”

“J!”

“It’s only fair, sweetheart…” And she was laid onto her back, my own task clear, as I revealed her to me and made my own imprint on her memory, and the couch as it was stained in her release in record time…

Taglist: @hopebaker @iovdrew @penny4yourthoughts @magnificantmermaid @pickingviolets @lovedetlost @trikigirl271 @maybankslover @slut4starkey @slvtherinseeker @obxiskewl @obxxrxfes @bluesongbird @slut-era @ailee-celeste @rafesbae @pankhoeforlife

[tokyogruel]

For the milgram ask game, Kotoko for 6, 8, 12, and 19!!! :3

6. favorite relationships with another character in the prison?

its so cliche to say mahiru i think but truly- mahiru. theyve got such a playful relationship and the way mahiru talks so sweetly to/about kotoko makes my heart melt.

and ive been thinking a lot more about her with shidou... they dont directly interact, but theyre fun to think about... shidou "im left to clean up the aftermath of your actions" vs kotoko "i dont care if youve been overly-forgiven by the warden, i will not let you get in the way of justice" also... 5 + 10? YELLS

what is your theory for their crime? if there is general consensus on it in the fandom, do you have any other, not-so-widely-accepted thoughts on it?

i feel like kotokos crime is pretty straight forward: vigilante justice carried out as vigilante justice usually is; poorly and with grave consequence

and hm... my thoughts on it.. well, i definitely dont think vigilante justice is good, ever. one person should never be judge, jury, and executioner. but with kotoko... i want to know more about WHY she is driven towards vigilante justice.. what has driven her so far to the point where she is willing to burn all her bridges, distance herself from others, spend her hard-earned money and drop out of school for the chance to kill someone she deems to be a bad person- even though she risks going to prison after the first time she ever draws blood? why is she risking so much, for so little?

12. what do you wish would be discussed more often about them in the fandom?

god. anything and everything. kotoko is very widely ignored by fans unless they are interested in her, specifically. and it sucks! she is such a weird character, but such a good character. you say you dont care about others, yet you claim you want to protect the weak, but if they get in your way regardless you will crush them. what drives you? what happened to you to make you think like this? why are you so back-and-forth?? i also want to see more people talk about how she potentially has DID, its one of my favorite theories. i want to see more discussion on the wolf-theming, and why her headspace seems to be a barren desert. i want people to talk about how, even if she does terrible things- she is not beyond saving, there is a kind and gentle heart hidden away under her layers of fear and trauma.

but i do wanna ask a few questions to the audience, and let you all take a moment to stew on her character before deep cover...

what do you think happened in her past to push her to believe vigilante justice should be her path?

what do you think drives her to focus on the specific targets she has in harrow?

why do you think kotokos victim looks so much like fuuta?

who do you think the 3 different girls are in harrow? do you believe one of them may be kotoko herself?

what could she possibly gain from draining her life savings on a false sense of justice?

why do you think she actively pushes away any sense of connection in her life?

in regards to her family members, why do you think she mentions these specific people, in this specific order? (for your reference, her family interrogation answer is thus: (taken from the milgram wiki)

19. what do you think their childhood/teenage years were like?

bad. LMAO. i think she went through a majorly traumatic event as a child, and she's largely blocked it out of her memory, but it still drives her actions today. i wont go into detail on it now, because i fear it would be very very triggering for others (and deserves its own, carefully-written post), but i believe her past may consist of the following: child abuse, sexual assault, and trafficking

edit: as for her teenage years, i think this is when she really started to self-isolate. she probably didnt have many friends to begin with, and pushed the remaining ones away at this point. she probably dove head-first into her vigilante research first, and her studies second, and everything else beyond that was just noise to her

[factorialsotherfandoms]

RIght back at ya with the ordem ask game! :D

Carente - Which is your favourite relationship (platonic OR romantic) and why?

Magistrada - If you had to choose a character to tell something to, who and what would they be?

Parasita da culpa - Which moment or concept would you change if you could, and how?

<3

hehehe hi! spoilers up to and including osni 3 ahead

Carente - Which is your favourite relationship (platonic OR romantic) and why?

So, I did answer this here, but I know for sure you've seen the relevant parts so I saved this one for you. Because Johnny, my boy, my absolute fucking moron <3

I guess on screen relationship has to be him and Rubens, because its most of what we see, you know? And it's sweet, and its fun, and watching the two pairs dance around each other and just how much Johnny and Rubens *trust* each other *and not the others* is very pleasing.

However

HOWEVER

I am utterly and entirely and extremely *fascinated* by the team he used to be on. Both in a historical Johnny & Luciano & Antonio & Arnaldo sense, and in a current time (well slightly ahead) just Johnny & Balu being left at the end of it. Or even!!!! Johnny & Anfitrião, the being with Arnaldo's memories. We haven't seen any of him and Kian so eh yeah, but the potential!!! They're not things I've especially poked, but these are all things I rotate in my brain constantly. I just... Don't have the time to write them rn, and can't even pick a singular version anyway. The man who used to be his mentor, perhaps saviour perhaps sponsor, becoming the thing that near killed him. The last two people at the end. Four people working together without names but, from what Balu said, seems there were frictions in the group from clashing personalities and people being stubborn. Not serious ones, but ones where they'd work together but not *like* each other much. There's a lot of lines from the Johnny, Balu, and Rubens scene (mostly from Rubens because *fuck* Felps pulled it out of the park that scene [and many of the earlier ones but I've repeated the Host information frip ones less]) that live rent free in my brain, but this -

Johnny, I'm Balu. We already met on another occasion, but I think… I was a bit of a fool when you met me. Anyway… I think… If we were on some mission nowadays, we would be- I would have done better.

I am so fascinated by this line. This fucking line. I am completely fascinated by a relationship I'll never get any god-damned answers to, and it's this line's fault.

(I'm also 80% convinced that where Balu cut himself off? The next would would have been 'friends')

Magistrada - If you had to choose a character to tell something to, who and what would they be?

Hmmmmmmmm that's.... real fucking hard, huh. Though fuck it. I've got two, both osni, and do remember I'm only episode 3 so I've no idea how things will fo (and probably why I feel the need) but... I've two, in order of importance. I just think you'd enjoy both.

Milo - you are who you say you are, and nobody and nothing can or should take that from you. It does not matter if you did not exist before you both turned ten or not. What matters is that you are here, and you are just as valuable as anybody else.

Olivier - your father might not love you, and your mother might overlook you for your sister, and your sister might be a bit of a bitch sometimes, but never doubt she and your mother love you. You are loved so much, I promise.

Parasita da culpa - Which moment or concept would you change if you could, and how?

Hmmm let me see... I mean I kinda talked about this with the last one and headcanons so...

IDK something small. I don't want to destabalise things too hard. I think, perhaps, let Fernando find out what Luciano did and agreed to with the child. Just because I'm curious to his reaction, and think he deserved to know. There's no good way for him to find out, but... him dying not knowing just kinda sucks.

Like sure there's big things with deaths or rules mistakes or whatever (Justice For Artemis) but without messing anything up too hard? I think that.

[cookinguptales]

OH right, Blue Beetle!

I really enjoyed it! I've been a fan of Jaime Reyes for a long time and I honestly never believed he'd get his own movie. And?? Such a good one???

I worried going into it that he looked too cool in the trailers. Is that weird to say? I loved dorky baby teenager Jaime when I was a kid. He felt like One Of Us, y'know? And then I watched the trailers and I was like "hmmmmmm."

But even though he's a bit older in this movie and has his shit together a little more, he's still very much Jaime Reyes at heart. 💙 Love that weird little dork of a man that always means so well, even if he doesn't always know what to do. And I found myself rooting for him so hard!

The movie was overall just really charming and fun and occasionally emotionally devastating. A good mixture of action, character relationships, humor, and politics, imo. The characters were so endearing, and I'm really looking forward to seeing how things develop going forward.

A few more thoughts (with spoilers) beneath the cut.

I was actually a little surprised by how sad parts of the movie were, but it felt right, too. The heart of the movie really was the simultaneous power of familial love and horror of family separation. Family separation really seemed to affect all the characters in their own ways, whether that was due to corporate greed, politics, war, racism, or just good-old-fashioned horrific US policy.

Like... You come to realize that it really permeated every part of the movie. Alberto's devotion to his family, the years he put into bringing them all to Palmera City. The very real fear that going to the cops would invite an unfair immigration investigation into their household. Jenny losing her parents at such a young age, and the sharp divide between her and her aunt. Jaime's family loss as well. Carapax's truly fucked-up backstory. Hell, even divisions being sown between Victoria Kord and her brother when her father gave the company to Ted instead of the person who'd built it.

(Don't get me wrong, Victoria Kord was truly evil, child soldiers and all. I was not rooting for her. But lbr, that doesn't seem to be why her equally war-mongering father cut her out of the company. You have to wonder if she would have done quite so much damage in the end if she hadn't felt such a virulent need to prove herself and destroy her brother's pacifistic legacy. But! Who knows? She might have been even worse if she'd had all that power from the beginning.)

And, y'know, all of the characters deal with the horror of family separation in different ways. Carapax became weaponized by an imperialistic power that didn't give one shit about him. Victoria became embittered, violent, and downright brutal. And Jaime could have gone the same way, so furious over the loss of his own family that he gave into wanton destruction as well -- but Khaji Da didn't let him. (WAILING.) Instead, he managed to take the same route as Jenny: transmuting his rage into a need for justice, into a passion for making the world better so no one else would lose their loved ones the same way.

Y'all, I was in there crying at a superhero movie!!! IT'S FINE, I'm FINE.

I heard that the creator of the movie hadn't actually initially intended for Alberto to die (which I understand, tbh) but I did think it was really beautiful the way it was incorporated into the movie. Bringing Mexican culture to the foreground yet again in its discussions about and attitudes toward death. God, those candles were beautiful. ;;

I mean -- as someone who literally dropped all of my DC subs the day they "fixed" Oracle and never gave DC another cent until this movie came out, I really am passionate about the need for diverse heroes. Part of the reason I felt like I was getting emotional in that theater was because I remembered how much Oracle meant to me as a young disabled teen who couldn't make sense of her trauma or her disability or her inherent power. I remember how much losing the only positive role model I had devastated me.

And like... I want kids with the same background as Jaime to see themselves in him. I want them to be able to feel the way I felt back then. Honestly, that was a lot of why I finally broke my boycott. I think characters like Jaime, while brilliant in their own right, are also important, and I want to support them.

So when I realized how raucously, joyously, passionately this movie was gonna depict Latino culture and its own diversity within the US, I was thrilled! And I cried lmao.

(What can I say, I've been kind of weepy lately lmao.)

But yeah, honestly I cheered in the theater when Khaji Da switched to Spanish. I was like YEAH GIRL.

Other times I was actively fangirling in the theater:

Nana Reyes gunning down imperialists

Ted Kord reveal(s)!!!

"Batman's a fascist. Blue Beetle knew how to have fun." :')

Khaji Da stopping Jaime from killing that man

Milagro and Rudy having no such compunctions

Dr. "Sanchez" standing up for himself and his name reveal (which is a very fun easter egg for WWDITS fans, lmao. I wasn't expecting it and I had to stifle a little shout of laughter.)

Honestly, as a former DC fan I really loved how much thought and care was put into incorporating the really messy canonical history of the Scarab. Obviously they deviated from existing canon, but in ways that I thought were really fun and interesting. I'm excited to see what happens with the Kords going forward, y'know? I hope that Jenny, too, isn't cut out of her own family legacy. I'd never want to separate Khaji Da and Jaime, obviously, but there has to be something for that woman to do to follow in her father's (secret) footsteps.

I realize that this review is kind of all over the place (like my mind the past few days), but I really, really enjoyed it. I was feeling pretty out of sorts the day I saw it and it really raised my spirits a lot. It turns out that after all these years, I still really love Jaime Reyes! And I love his family! And I love Jenny, too!

even dr. de la cruz a little bit, even if he sure did take his sweet time to find a backbone

The movie was just super fun (as well as unexpectedly thought-provoking) and I really enjoyed it!

[feyhunter78]

The Dowager Queen (3/?)

Description: Aemond claims Vhagar and both he and Lucerys are injured in the process. Justice must be served, and Rhaenyra fears her reign will be one of never-ending death.

Previous chapter

Alicent kneeled before Aemond, holding his hand tightly. “My son, my love, what happened?” His cheek was horribly slashed, a curved jagged line, his left eye a mangled mess, and bleeding profusely as the maester attempted to stitch up the wound.

Aemond was trying hard not to cry but his good eye flickered to Rhaena and Baela who stood with their grandparents.

She could hear Lucerys, who stood beside Aemond’s chair, talking quietly to his mother. Rhaenyra’s shoulders brushing Alicent’s own as they both tended to their youngest sons.

 He was sobbing, his face slashed as well was though the wound was less severe and ran above his right eye.

“I tried to stop them; I swear. I told them Vhagar was his, he claimed her.” He told Rhaenyra, who was gently dabbing at the wound with Sir Harwin’s handkerchief. Waiting for another maester to arrive.

“You have claimed a dragon?” Alicent asked Aemond, excitement coursing through her veins. This was all her son had wanted since he was old enough to understand the bond that was possible.

“Yes, Vhagar, the late Lady Laena’s dragon.” He said quietly.

“She was my mother’s dragon.” Rhaena protested, her chin held high in defiance. “You stole her.”

Yelling erupted from the children, as they hurled accusations back and forth across the room.

Alicent saw Helaena appear, her small hand held tightly by Jacaerys as he led her through the crowd.

“Everyone quiet.” Rhaenyra called, Lucerys clinging to her skirts. “I will hear from both parties what has occurred.”

“My son should speak first; he is the one who is most injured.” Alicent said, standing up swiftly, keeping Aemond’s hand within hers.

Rhaenyra nodded, her eyes flickering towards Daemon who leaned against the wall, hand on his sword.

“Go on, Aemond.” Alicent urged him, squeezing his hand as a guard dragged Aegon in from gods know where.

Aemond cleared his throat. “I heard the call, and I answered it. Lucerys accompanied me, and when we returned Ladies Rhaena and Balea were in the hall. They accused me of stealing Vhagar, and when I told them she had chosen me, they attacked me. Lucerys tried to help, but one of them pulled out a knife and—” He winced as the maester finished the final stitch.

“Rhaena had a knife, the one Uncle Daemon uses. She tried to take Aemond’s eye and I—” Lucerys flinched as the maester attending him began his stitching.

“Lucerys pushed me out of the way and when we fell the knife slashed him as well.” Aemond finished for his nephew, sending Lucerys a small smile of gratitude.

Her fury rose until she felt it would boil over inside her and she turned to Corlys and Rhaenys. “Your granddaughters attacked my son, they intended to take his eye, what say you?”

“The queen decreed both parties would be allowed to speak, Alicent.” Daemon said, pushing off from the wall and going to stand beside his daughters.

“That is Dowager Queen Alicent to you.” Criston said firmly, taking his own place beside Alicent and Aemond.

Daemon made a show of half-bowing, a mock apologetic expression on his face.

“Do not let him bait you Sir Criston.” She said quietly, glancing over at her steadfast protector.

“Yes, my queen.” He said, bowing his head, and subtly placing his hand on Aemond’s shoulder.

Alicent didn’t miss the way Aemond seemed to draw strength from Criston’s silent support.

“I will allow the girls to speak.” Rhaenyra said, standing now, her hand still in Lucerys.

“He stole our mother’s dragon, Vhagar was mine to claim.” Rhaena said, a defiant look in her eyes.

Alicent felt for the poor girl. Until tonight Aemond had felt that same desperation, that same insecurity, but he had not lashed out in such violent ways even when his brother and nephews taunted him so cruelly.

“A dragon cannot be stolen, only its eggs.” Aegon said, surprising almost all who were gathered.

“Aegon is right, Vhagar is not a slave, nor is she a mindless beast. She will choose a rider out of her own desire.” Rhaenyra said, passing Lucerys’ hand to Jacaerys who carefully ruffled his brother’s hair. “And it seems she has chosen Aemond. That cannot be undone.”

“But he crept to her in the middle of the night, Rhaena did not even have a chance to attempt to claim her.” Balea said, taking her sister’s hand.

Alicent saw the way Rhaenyra softened, and a kindling of fear began to crackle within her chest. She left Aemond’s side and stood beside Rhaenyra.

“Rhaenyra, they have maimed Aemond, and Lucerys.” She reminded her softly.

Rhaenyra pursed her lips, her eyes on Daemon.

“Maester, how is the wound on my son?”

“It will scar, but besides that, the prince will recover with no injuries.” Maester Rickaen informed her. “But Prince Aemond’s eye is lost, and it will scar greatly.”

“The girls were defending their last memory of their mother, surely you would not punish them for such an act.” Daemon said, his voice smooth as he stepped forward joining Rhaenyra and Alicent in the center of the room.

“I cannot deny that I understand their motivation.” Rhaenyra said quietly, as Daemon toyed with the pendent that hung around her neck.

Alicent grabbed Rhaenyra’s hand pulling her attention to her. “Your son will be healed, and I thank The Seven for that, but Aemond has lost his eye.” She looked up at Rhaenyra, blinking away tears. “He is your brother Rhaenyra, your blood.”

She watched as Rhaenyra looked over at Aemond whose head was bowed, as he talked quietly with a sniffling Lucerys.

“He is my blood.” Rhaenyra said, stepping back from Daemon. “But Rhaena and Baela are my nieces, so I will not call for their eyes as well.”

“They must be punished, they harmed both our sons.” Alicent pleaded, squeezing Rhaenyra’s hand.

She would not let this act of violence towards her son go unpunished, even if she must deal out the consequences herself.

“The girls will be confined to Driftmark until they turn six and ten. After that they may roam the realm, but they are forever banished from King’s Landing.” Rhaenyra announced, head held high, the voice of a queen echoing around the room.

Corlys and Rhaenys protested, and Daemon hissed something in Valyrian.

Quick as a snake, Daemon had his hands around Rhaenyra’s throat, crushing her windpipe as he spat curses at her. Everyone panicked, and Alicent heard Sir Harwin’s shouts, and the cries of the children around them.

Without thinking she grabbed the dagger from Daemon’s hip and plunged it into the exposed flesh of his neck, driving it forward until she felt it pierce the other side and Daemon went limp.

She released the dagger as Daemon fell, eyes wide with shock.

“Alicent.” Rhaenyra breathed gratefully; her voice raspy.

“I—” She didn’t know what to say, or what to do, her mind had reverted to some primal fight or flight mode, in which her only thought was to protect her friend, her other half.

Rhaenyra crushed her to her chest. “The gods have given me the most loyal of Hands.”

Rhaenyra feared her reign would be one of death. She confessed this much to Harwin in a near silent whisper as Lucerys lay between them. She had given up the charade this night. Her son wished to be sheltered between his parents and she no longer had the strength to deny him, to hide what she knew was clear to her sons.

“The deaths will end Nyra; I swear to you. Your reign has only just begun, do not let despair darken your future. You will be a good queen, a glorious one.” Harwin reassured her, his large hand resting on her hip, keeping Lucerys safe between them.

It was the screams that awoke her, that caused her to push Harwin from the bed, and bolt up. Flying to the door she cracked it open and asked a nearby servant what was going on.

Sir Laenor had been found dead, his body charred, and his lover Sir Quarl gone.

Was this his plan? The one Daemon had set in motion to allow Laenor to be free?

Even with the sight of the body she couldn’t tell if it was Laenor or not, but she mourned him all the same. Alive in Pethos or dead at the bottom of the sea, she had lost a dear friend, and her nieces had lost the last true link to their mother.

She did not retract their banishment, even at the request of Rhaenys, at the threat of removing Lucerys from Driftmark’s line of succession. In fact she told her aunt to name one of Laena’s daughters heir. Lucerys would not return to this place, not as long as those who had attacked him remained.

Harwin’s comment that the girls would live better under the care of their grandparents eased her guilt a small amount. Her Uncle Daemon was many things, both good and bad, but it was clear that he had not been a father to the girls.

As she flew on Syrax’s back, the wind rushing through her hair, she made up her mind. She would apologize to Rhaela and Baela when they were older, when they could understand why she had made the decision she had. But now she had a brother she must congratulate.

Rhaenyra directed Syrax closer to Vhagar and called out to Aemond. “You are doing wonderfully Aemond, father would have been proud.”

Aemond looked up in surprise, as if he hadn’t known that the only reason, he was allowed to fly Vhagar so quickly after his injury is because Rhaenyra had offered to fly with him. “Thank you.” He called back.

“We shall reach the Keep soon, remember you must land her outside the city then you will ride back to the Dragonpit with me.”

Aemond nodded and leaned closer to Vhagar as if the great dragon had been unable to hear the words exchanged.

They both looked up as Vermax and Dreamfyre sailed above them, the carefree laughter of their riders echoing on the wind.

“Helaena is happy with him.” Aemond said, as Rhaenyra drew closer, her eyes on her son’s dragon.

“That is good.” She said, giving him a soft smile.

They flew in silence until Vhagar had landed and Aemond joined her on Syrax.

“I speak truly, Helaena is quite fond of Jacaerys.”

Rhaenyra made sure he was safely strapped in then urged Syrax into the skies once more. “He is fond of her as well.”

Aemond hummed in response, and she remembered the way she’d caught him watching some of the girls of the court that were around his age, as they frolicked through the gardens.

“Is there anyone you may be fond of?” She asked lightly, biting back a smile.

Aemond shook his head, and she could see his ears turning bright red. “No, no one.”

“Do tell me if you wish to choose a betrothed, though you are young still, there is no need for haste.”

He mumbled something that sounded like an expression of gratitude, and she smiled.

So long had she mourned her brothers who had not drawn breath, neglecting the ones who lived and breathed merely a few halls away from her.

“I am sorry Aemond. I have not been the sister I should have been.” She said, once they dismounted and the dragonkeepers lead Syrax away.

Aemond looked down at the ground, his scar still an angry red. “I have not expected much, father did not care for me, why should you?”

Her heart broke and she kneeled in front of him, brushing his hair back gently. “Father did care for you; he was simply too ill to show it.”

Aemond looked unconvinced.

“I will send my personal maester to check on your wound. Perhaps you and Lucerys would like him to come attend you both at the same time?”

“I am not scared.” Aemond said, though his shoulders were tense.

She gave her a soft smile. “I know you are not, but Luc is.”

Aemond gave her a surprised look and she put one finger to her lips. “Do not tell him I told you, but it would make him feel braver if you were there as well.”

He shifted his weight from one foot to the other. “If it will help, then I will sit with him.”

“Perfect.” She kissed his unscarred cheek gently. “Thank you, brother.”

He nodded, his cheeks a light pink. “Of course, sister.”

Tag list: @nyctophilic0vitnir, @svtansdaddyx, @fan-goddess, @dc-marvel-girl96, @shintax-error, @bellameshipper, @the141bandicoot, @the-phantom-of-arda, @haydee5010, @partypoison00, @serrhaewin, @issshhh, @pax-2735, @malfoytargaryen, @sahanna, @dellalyra, @mxrgodsstuff, @jkhomes, @unusual-raccoon, @boofy1998, @kravitzwhore, @caribbeangel, @krispold, @issshh, @afro-hispwriter, @ryswritingrecord, @prettykinkysoul, @elissanatok, @sahvlren, @its-sam-allgood, @happinessinthbeing, @8e-h-e8, @feyres-fireheart, @just-emmaaaa, @crazylokonugget, @hedahobbit98, @devils-blackrose, @mercedesdecorazon, @snh96, @imjustboredso, @izzicle, @hiatuswhore, @aslanvez, @devils-blackrose, @yentroucnagol, @queenofshinigamis, @partyposion00

[good-morning-czernobog]

Necrozma, Light, and Divinity: A Very Weird Sun and Moon Theory.

I don't think the alchemical connections in Sun and Moon were ever really discussed in-depth enough for my satisfaction. There's no god damn way they'd just base the starter's first forms off the 3 primes and name one of the factions the Aether Foundation just not go anywhere else with that. Sun and Moon were pretty wild games, and I think maybe we got distracted with all the other bells and whistles, like Lusamine's bullshit, the UBs, and ya boy Guzma. Buckle up.

Before we get onto the main bit, I wanna talk a little about Mesopotamian deities. Observe this boundary stone from 12th century BC.

It's Wikimedia Commons details are as follows: Kudurru (stele) of King Melishipak I (1186–1172 BC): the king presents his daughter to the goddess Nannaya. The crescent moon represents the god Sin, the sun the Shamash and the star the goddess Ishtar. Kassite period, taken to Susa in the 12th century BC as war booty.

We've seen this 8-pointed star before, right on Necrozma's back

The star, as the description says, represents Inanna (called that by the Sumerians, and Ishtar by the Babylonians). She is a deity of love, war, fertility, and divine justice. She is associated with the planet Venus (we'll talk about Venus more in a bit). Inanna is referred to as the "Queen of Heaven", described as powerful but capricious.

She is also described as having some ambiguity to her gender, even having the power to alter people's gender, especially in relation to her cult. This ties into another figure Necrozma may be based on, as well as it's alchemical ties. But before I talk about that I wanna walk about the time Inanna died.

Gods die all the time in mythology. Inanna is one of the few who came back. For a time, she was trapped in the underworld by her sister Ereshkigal. Similarly, it's Sun dex entry reads "Reminiscent of the Ultra Beasts, this life-form, apparently asleep underground, is thought to have come from another world in ancient times." Whole it's entry in Sword for gen 8 is "It survives by absorbing light. After a long time spent slumbering underground, impurities accumulated within it, causing its body to darken.". Inanna is eventually saved when "sexless" or androgynous beings are sent to rescue her.

Bulbapedia's trivia section for Necrozma offers a different idea: Lucifer.

Ultra Necrozma, a being of light, four wings, draconic yet angelic, who's battle music begins with a fucking organ absolutely invokes imagery of Lucifer.

In this form, its head becomes the 8-pointed star.

Lucifer, who's name means "light bringer". Lucifer the morning star, associated with Venus. This figure is eventually absorbed into Christianity as a name for the devil, a being who himself was once an angel. It's not uncommon for media to depict him with a mixture of secondary sexual characteristics, though most are male. It's entirely possible this is because of confusion between Satan and the figure Baphomet, though I had a harder time finding info on this one. If that were the case I wouldn't entirely fault Gamefreak for it. Even I have a hard time separating the two. Also probably worth noticing that dragons come up several times in the Bible, usually in relation to Satan. Ultra Necrozma does gain the dragon type after all.

Two figures, sometimes of ambiguous gender, both associated with the 3rd brightest object in the sky? Interesting. Very interesting.

If you're still reading, congrats, we're talking about alchemy now.

It was pretty hard to understand where they were going with this until we got USUM. USUM introduced Team Rainbow Rocket, Giovanni's attempt to gather past evil the leaders into a league of supervillains (who you demolish). Seemed simple enough. Haha, Necrozma is a light god. Z-Crystals are shards of its light because it's a prism. Cool.

But maybe not the whole story. I introduce to you: The Prima Materia.

In alchemy, Prima Materia is a substance that acts as the base form of all matter. It is similar to aether. a book called the Theatrum Chemicum contains the following passage about it.

"They have compared the "prima materia" to everything, to male and female, to the [redacted]*, to heaven and earth, to body and spirit, chaos, microcosm, and the confused mass; it contains in itself all colors and potentially all metals; there is nothing more wonderful in the world, for it begets itself, conceives itself, and gives birth to itself.

*the word used here is considered a slur against intersex people, so I excluded it

Furthermore, the Lexicon Alchemaie (which i would have checked more in depth but I don't speak Latin), lists names alchemists have used for the Prima Materia. Ones that stand out to me are: heaven, the dragon, heart of the sun, spittle of the moon, Venus, the rainbow. The Prima Materia is required in the creation of the Philosopher's Stone.

In USUM, instead of Nihilego, Lusamine beings forth Necrozma. The Aether Foundation's name comes full circle here. Aether as an alchemical element is frequently associated with light and gravity.

What I'm saying is, Necrozma isn't just light. it's alchemical light. it is the Prima Materia. The energy it emits becomes other things (in this case, the Pokemon types).

Now let's take this a step further, with Type: Null and Silvally. They don't directly relate to Necrozma, but I do believe they have an alchemical inspiration that ties them to Necrozma's mythological position in comparison to Arceus.

According to Bulbapedia, Type: Null was created using cells from all known pokemon types. It was supposed to be able to change types with RKS system, inspired by tales of Arceus. There were complications with them going berserk and the project was deemed a failure.

Type: Null is a failed Philosopher's Stone, until the power of love completed it.

With high friendship, Type: Null evolves into Silvally. It breaks free of the limiter attached to its head and regains use of the RKS system, this time without going berserk. Gladion, a kid, achieves what a bunch of detached adult scientists could not.

It seems love and light are very similar concepts, at least in the Pokemon world. The fairy types are heavily associated with light, super effective against dark types, and a certain pokemon repping them when they first got revealed evolves when it loves you (and has a fairy type move).

Now, it's still difficult to say where Necrozma stands in Pokemon's mythology. It's from another world entirely. The question is whether or not Arceus has influence in those worlds. It's God. It should, right? I think there's a few possibilities, but I don't have enough information to decide for sure

-Necrozma is equivalent to Arceus in its own world. Ultra Beasts may not be described as pokemon, but they have types and use moves like them, so they must be something similar but adapted to a different environment. This one's a bit of a stretch.

-Necrozma is a creation of Arceus like everything else and plays an important function, it just made a home in a different area of time and space, or much like Giratina (another Satan inspired pokemon who is dragon type) it was sent there for some reason.

-Less likely, Necrozma is above Arceus, not as a god but a primal energy gained beast-like sentience, the divine Chaos from which Arceus came

One potential hint at this relation may lie in Arceus' name. It's likely this is a coincidence, and they didn't intend this from the get-go, but it did just happen to fit the alchemy theme. There is another concept: Archeus. Archeus is, according to Wiktionary: "The vital principle or force believed by the Paracelsians to be responsible for alchemical reactions within living bodies, and hence for the growth and continuation of life." It is another name for Anima Mundi, the soul of the world. The divine spark. Archeus has four aspects: Life, Light, Chemical, and Reflective.

I haven't worked out yet what this means, unfortunately. I could be connecting a bunch of weird mythological coincidences. But it was very fun. I would like to discuss some less grand alchemical connections in Alola sometime. Those would require a bit more research and milling over however. I genuinely wish I could give you a more satisfying conclusion here.

Altogether, I hope this gives you food for thought.

UPDATE: more thoughts

there's something I wanted to talk about that I forgot when previously writing this, and I've had more time to mull over previous thoughts.

This next section will start with the elements of gender ambiguity with Inanna and Lucifer, and how that connects to alchemy. Rebis.

An end product of the Magnum Opus (creation of the Philosopher's Stone), the Rebis is a fusion of spirit and matter, imbued with male and female qualities. (Lot of the use of that word I omitted earlier here so be advised if you look into it more). While lacking in the two heads, that certainly lines up with the element of gender ambiguity. Ultra Necrozma is the being at its strongest, when it is full of the much needed light its body had been starving for.

Another interesting bit regarding the Rebis is it is considered the result of "reconciliation of opposites", and imagery around it is called a chemical wedding. This is symbolized by the coming together of a king and queen, the king in red and the queen in white, each symbolizing the sun and moon respectively.

While Solgaleo and Lunala do not fit so neatly into the references to mesopotamian myth (Shamash and Sin are both male, Shamash is Ishtar's brother and Sin their father), this might add some ideas for how Solgaleo and Lunala connect to Necrozma. They are all beings of light after all, and Necrozma is able to siphon it from them when fusing with them in USUM.

I believe Necrozma may be a possible evolution of Cosmog. Bear with me, please.

Obviously, this isn't reflected in gameplay. What Cosmog evolves into depends on your version of the game. But Solgaleo and Lunala are framed as mates. You can get a second Cosmog in both games, and when you do, the other game's legendary appears. They are also referred as appearing to be male and female respectively in their Pokedex entries despite having no gender in the actual game data.

But what is Cosmog and Cosmoem in this case then? Well besides being based on nebulas, I think it may be another concept called filius philosophorum, "Philosopher's Child". One of the Filius' ways of being represented is by the Rebis, as well as a direct child of the red king and white queen. Many sites mention an egg as a symbol but don't elaborate further (like baby name websites they often feed off each other indefinitely).

Now Cosmog's name is the same in all languages, but Cosmoem's is not. It's Japanese name is Cosmovum. Cosmos and ovum. Ovum as in egg. The -em in Cosmoem's name may also be for embryo. whoever wrote the trivia section for it's Bulbapedia stage thinks it has elements of both the sun and moon in its design, and I'm inclined to agree. It also mentions something called the world egg.

The world egg is a mythological concept that spans across multiple cosmologies, but because alchemy often takes from the Greek cosmology I'll stick to that. Within Greek myth we are given the Orphic Egg, from which the primordial deity Phanes is born. Phanes' name meaning "to light, or to shine". He is described bearing a helmet and golden wings, largely referred to as male but sometimes as androgynous. His parentage varies, with having no parents at all, to Chronos (time), to Chaos, to Nyx (night). He is described as creating all other gods, or creating the day depending on the telling.

Necrozma is also Phanes, a being of light, born from a divine egg. Necrozma is a more perfect path of evolution than it's parents, but this is likely triggered by something far beyond the control of the player.

(Addendum: If you think this also sounds similar to books about Arceus in the Canalave library, you'd be right. That myth was applied to Arceus first, which makes some interesting implications.)

Now you may be thinking "wow a lot of these concepts sound like ways to talk about the Philosopher's Stone", and you'd probably be right. The Magnum Opus had many names and many ways of representing it visually, mostly alchemists wanted to keep their trade secrets. But there is an interesting one.

The ouroboros. A symbol of unity, eternity, and endless cycles. The beginning and the end are intrinsically connected.

What is Necrozma doing when you meet it in USUM? it's desperately looking for light. It can't make it on its own anymore. It's base form dex entries describe it as craving light, going dormant when it can't find it.

Ultra Sun: It looks somehow pained as it rages around in search of light, which serves as its energy. It's apparently from another world.

Ultra Moon: Light is the source of its energy. If it isn't devouring light, impurities build up in it and on it, and Necrozma darkens and stops moving.

Necrozma is burning out like an old star. Necros, death.

The Philosopher's Stone is often visualized in modern media as a gem, much like it's body in this form. When the power is expended, Necrozma will be just another rock. It is a transient being. Much like the Great Work, perfection is not sustainable in practice.

But it's not all bad. Phanes, again, is also described as creating other gods. In time, it's body will break down and may become a new Cosmog. The end begets the beginning. The Prima Materia is after all, important in the Great Work's culmination.

There is another being described as creating all else though, in Pokemon. Once again it rolls back around to Arceus.

In Platinum and HGSS Pokedex entries, Arceus' goes as follows: It is said to have emerged from an egg in a place where there was nothing, then shaped the world.

These beings are connected somehow, but after more research from my first version of this I've come to the conclusion that while Necrozma and Arceus are similar (remember, Arceus can be any type, Necrozma's light becomes the differently typed Z-Crystals), Necrozma is inherently more flawed and impermanent.

It's important also to remember that the Philosopher's Stone is the work of humans. It's not divine but comes from a desire to come close to it. I can't say the same about Solgaleo and Lunala, but it's possible that Necrozma isn't natural. Necrozma was made. By whom? Who knows, but probably someone from the Ultra Recon Squad's dimension. This is merely a guess. It could just be a natural but rare occurrence. From what we've been given, this anyone's guess. Maybe were not even meant to know. Whatever the case, Necrozma is a transient being, Arceus-like but ultimately imperfect. The cycle continues eternally.

BONUS ROUND: tria prima

In the very introduction of this post I mentioned the 3 primes, and the starters's first forms having similarities to their symbols. I'm aware there are likely many alchemical connections in the story that I haven't noticed yet but I wanted to discuss something more with that.

Paracelsus described the primes (sulphur, mercury, and salt) as materials from which all things are made. This is not entirely literal. Alchemy wasn't just chemistry, it was spiritual. Each prime has a different quality.

Sulphur is combustibility, soul, the divine spark

Mercury is volatility, spirit (mind), consciousness

Salt is neither, it is the body that holds them

One of the biggest examples for this is that in say, burning a piece of wood. The fire was sulphur, the smoke was mercury, and the ash was salt.

The tria prima sound a lot like prima materia don't they? It's kind of poetic the way this is implemented in USUM. You begin your journey with a prime material and it's biggest climax is with another prime material. Just as the end begets the beginning, the beginning begets the end.

~

Note for potential future update: Two substances were added to this later on: phlegm and caput mortuum (Latin for "dead head"). Caput Mortuum was waste product in a reaction. Phlegm, in the alchemical sense is "A watery distillation, especially one obtained from plant matter; an aqueous solution.", to quote Wiktionary. Phlegm was also considered a waste product. CM was produced by sublimation, and Phlegm by distillation. Phlegm doesn't appear to have a symbol but CM does: a skull.

[mouseratz]

on tragedy.

(cw: child death)

"For sale: Baby shoes, never worn." That was the "saddest" single sentence story our teachers taught us. I remember thinking how awful it must be, to lose a child so early, before they had lived enough life to even wear a shoe. And it still is, I guess, but it's only a fraction as horrific as what I've seen now.

When I was a kid, sometimes, I would sleep in my grandmother's bed, and when I couldn't sleep, I'd talk to her, and she'd respond, half-alseep as she was. I don't remember what I asked, but at some point, she told me about the most awful thing she ever saw: A little boy had been run over by a car. She never saw the boy, but she had seen the little shoe fly away on impact, across the street. She said it was stuck in her mind forever. It must've been decades since she'd first seen that little boy's shoe when she told me this. That boy was a stranger to her, herself only a random passerby. I still remember thinking it was properly awful. Now, I wonder, for how long I'll remember what I've seen, for a child I held so dear.

My grandpa, her husband, worked at a morgue in the 70s, before my father had been born. They lived in a big Florida city, Miami, then. He kept odd hours, and my grandmother hated them. He liked the job well enough, though, so he kept it, and the morbidity never bothered him. That is, til he got a baby's corpse. He did his work, and he quit shortly after. His wife had never convinced him that his job was too grim and strange, but that dead child had, resembling too closely to the kids waiting for him at home. Reminding him that he could lose them. I guess that child's death was one of the things that led to my father's existence- if he'd kept that job, would they have ever moved away? I wonder if my brother's corpse broke any hearts I didn't know, made anybody quit their job.

What did I see? Too much, too much that's fair to say, things I don't want in anyone's mind, much less my own- but I'll share this much:

A bright orange shoe floating aimlessly in the sickly, still, dark green water. I remember picking out those shoes at the store. They were so colorful, I knew he would like them. And he stomped so happily the first time he wore them. And earlier that day, I remember slipping them on his feet, despite his grumbling at being held down that long; he never seemed to understand the point of shoes other than stomping. I hadn't taken them off when he got home, because I knew he liked to stomp around the hard floors of our new house, so I found no harm in leaving them on for a bit- if he wanted them off badly, he knew how to do that himself. And now, I think to the garishly orange shoe in the midst of his death-place. He must've flailed them off while he was seizing, however brief that was. I know why people say they feel god laughing at them. The cruelest things can and do happen here, and maybe it's some comfort to imagine someone enjoying a sick irony from it.

We like to imagine evil, to imagine something to push back against, to make it feel like a story, too- tragedy is when evil wins. But there wasn't an evil here. There was only a little accident, and the agony it caused. Tragedy evades rhyme and reason, it evades your best efforts, it evades any justice, even when there's no evil at all. Only the wrong place, the wrong time, the wrong domino falling.

It doesn't matter whether I believe in a god or not. For the record, I still do, but I believe in chaos as well. Swirling around and around, in something incomprehensible even to him, even as his own creation. Nothing is controlled, orderly, tamed. The world is strange, and wild, and terrible, and that's how your baby brother drowns in your backyard. No one will ever understand why, because there isn't a why. It is reason-less, it is tragedy at its finest. It happened simply because sometimes these things do, because sometimes the world is horribly wrong and twisted into a terrible imitation of itself without any intent at all.

Evil is real, there are evil people, evil actions, some of the greatest cruelties are from human hands, don't mistake me there- but sometimes, it isn't here. Sometimes, there's only tragedy, naturally sprung from the turning and turning madness that is everything. Sometimes, there's so much love and goodness, and it can't save you from a little accident.

[baddieladdie]

You are my Best High - Part 1

The mineral taste of blood hung in my mouth as I panted so hard my throat ached. I flattened myself firmly against the wall adjacent to the doorway, out of sight of any gunners’ that may walk down the hall. Pulling some shells from a pocket in my fatigues,  I reloaded Justice - my favorite combat shotgun, affectionately named by Penny from Covenant. 

tink tink tink tink

The sound of the gunners’ boots echoed on the metal vault floors - louder and louder - as they approached the doorframe I hide behind. I willed my racing heart to still, my breathing to silent.

“Where’d that little bitch go?” A man’s voice. Pissed and murderous. “You are seriously fucked! You know that? You’re fucking DEAD!” 

Good, at least he’s alone. I breathed in, mustering what courage I had, and jumped from the cover of the wall, facing the mercenaries - V.A.T.S. primed on the pip-boy on my wrist, Justice drawn and loaded. The V.A.T.S program inflated and deflated the bladders of my pip-boy, contorting my wrist until my gun was pointed directly at its target. The gunshots echoing down the hall. The body hitting the cold ground with a heavy thud.

“Whew, I could use some jet after that.” The familiar raspy voice emitted from the room we took cover in. 

“From how I saw it, I was the one who did the shooting," I chuckled, holstering Justice.

“I didn’t need to.” Hancock shrugged, his hands stuffed in his pockets, a shy smile broke as his glossy black eyes scanned her figure. “Handled yourself pretty well, sister.”

“If you want a drug break...” I spoke softly, flirtatiously, picking up on his hint.

“That’s all you have to say, sunshine." Hancock pushed himself off the wall, stumbling slightly, his red frock cloak brushing past me. His smell, that of moss & patchouli lingered near ever so briefly. "Now there’s gotta be some Chems around here somewhere"

“I’ll read that terminal, you check the gunner for anything useful,” I jerked my head towards the terminal in the room we used for cover. 

“Yeah, I can do that” He shot me a wink and waved fingers guns at me. I snorted out a laugh. 

“Oh my god, just GO Hancock” I pushed him gently towards the body. He submitted, throwing his hands up in the air, turning away from me.

His smiles always felt slightly insincere. He rarely shared a true smile, the kind that causes wrinkles. The kind that you feel across your lips and share with your eyes. Surely, the mayor of Goodneigher, who created a safe haven for the lost, forgotten, and cast out would have plenty of reasons to smile.

With little effort, I hacked my way into Vault 95 terminal. There was a single folder saved to the desktop - “Observation Log”. 

================================================

PRIVATE TERMINAL- IF NOT RGUTTIEREZ, LOG OFF IMMEDIATELY

================================================

**Observation Log**

Today marks the fifth calendar year since the residents of Vault 95 and I have moved into the Vault. This will be my first entry.

Today I will sneak out when all are asleep and open the stash of addictive substances that has lay hidden for the last five years. Isolation seems to have proved helpful when addictive stimuli are absent; now to see what such stimuli do the the social order we have created over the previous years.

================================================

“Hey Hancock,” I shouted, listening to the sound of his approach, “That closet the Overseer’s terminal referenced is REAL. And it’s fully stocked with untouched pre-war chems. You down for a treasure hunt?”

“Like you even have to ask, Damn right I’m interested. Let’s find ourselves the high of a lifetime.”

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hancock admired her toned features that filled out the army fatigues she wore. She picked it off the body of a gunner that was the same size as her. He promised to look away when she had changed, but he’d be lyin’ if he said he didn’t catch a glimpse of her perky breasts. She was, to him, the most beautiful creature of the wasteland. ‘Could be ‘case she had a pre-war physique, undamaged by a lifetime of radiation exposure. 

But it wasn’t worth thinking about. Not unless she wanted to act on those flirty comments she dropped now and again during perhaps more-than friendly banter.

“Has to be just down here,” Her eyes were fixed on the glowing green map displayed on her pip-boy as she led the way deeper inside the Vault. That little piece of tech on her wrist made her a target anywhere. Vault dwellers were often naive, especially in understanding the value of the pip-boy. It was the difference between life and death. He couldn’t count how many times they were jumped during while  traveling together. But she always managed to impress him with her skill in combat.

“Imagine us, here, in a place like this. Pretty sure the Vaults were built to keep riff-raff like us out. And look at us now.” He smirked, pride swelling in his chest.

They walked past the vault quarters and into the large, openness of the cafeteria. From there, stepping over debris and junk, she made her way to a blue-metal door across from a flipped over bench. She kneeled before the door, pulling a bobby pin from her hair, the stand falling to frame her face. Her features were smooth and delicate. Nothing like the course and scarred features his face had been reduced to. In fact, there was little out here in the post-nuclear wasteland that could compare to her.

“Keep an eye out, I’m gonna try to pick this thing.” He nodded, scanning the room for movement. In the shadows, he could hear the scurrying sound of radroaches against tile.

“Alright, just make it quick. I don’t think we’re alone,” He drew his sharpened knife.

Finally, the roach ran into the light. "HA! There you are!" Hancock lunged forward, thrusting the blade into its neck with a satisfying CRUNCH 

 “How’s that lock coming?” He asked, the flag tied around his narrow hips swayed with him as he turned to observe her work the lock.

“Almost….” Her face frowned as she focused.Cute as a button, that one. “Got it!” She smiled, springing to her feet.

“Someone knows their way around a bobby pin.”

“Let's see this infamous Vault 95 stash!”

“Heh, Alright! After you, doll”

The shelves upon shelves were stocked full with a staggering variety of chems and booze. Enough to keep the Goodneighbor Storeroom stocked for years.

“Well, I’ll be,” Hancock admired the dazzling display, a variety of drugs he recognized and few he had yet to try. He rubbed the dust off a barely legible vodka label. “Some of this could scrub the skin off a synth”

“Well, we might as well get comfortable. Care to join me in the dweller quarters?" 

“Lead the way, princess”

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Part 2: Lover's High

Authors Note: This work may get some more edits, but I am satisfied with the progress made thus far. This is part of my Fallout 4 Companion One-shots (Romance <3 )

Thank you for much for your support, it means so much to me!

[firstumcschenectady]

“Yearning for Joy” based on Micah 6:6-8 and Luke 1:67-80

I was in a “non-violent communication” workshop one time, which is a place that teaches about human emotions and how to have them without judging yourself for them. So, we're in this workshop and someone takes the MOST obvious of teaching moments, something that would almost make you groan except that in this case, I didn't KNOW the thing she was teaching so I was grateful that she made it so obvious.

We'd just come back from lunch and we were asked how we were doing, with the request that we respond with how we were feeling. It was practice with using feeling words. The co-teacher responded, “I'm feeling torn. I'm excited to be teaching this group, and at the same time I'm concerned about the two students who aren't back yet.” There I was, in my 30s, and I'd just learned that it was VALID to hold MORE THAN ONE EMOTION at the same time. Which was helpful, because I'd done that plenty, but somehow I hadn't known it was OK.

(This is why I often share really simple stuff about emotions with the rest of you – it was late in life learning for me and its been really significant. I dearly hope most of you already knew this, but when I look around at our society, I'm not sure who would have taught you.)

So I learned that when I take my feelings seriously, both on their own, and as flags pointing me to things I care about and value, I am allowed to feel more than one emotion – even seemingly contradictory ones. This knowledge has been very helpful for me, particularly in moments in my life when my life and the world as a whole were doing really differently. Like when Trump was elected and there was fear of what his presidency would look like – and I was newly in love and wedding planning at the same time. Or when there was a global pandemic and the country was locked down and everything was hard and confusing and – oh – I finally got to become a parent.

Which is all a long introduction to say: this is Joy Sunday, and heavens that can be confusing in the midst of sadness, anger, fear, and exhaustion. There seem to be plenty of reasons to skip joy – grief and heartache, violence and injustice for example.

And yet, none of that negates joy. In fact, oddly enough, making space for any emotion can make space for others too. It is possible to be deeply sad and deeply joyful at the same time. They don't cancel each other out, sometimes they even harmonize.

Micah 6:6-8 is one of my favorite texts, and I know that's true for many of you. “What does the Lord require of you but to do justice, and to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God?” We try, really hard, to live this. But sometimes, I can get off kilter. I can get so focused on trying to do justice, that I forget to notice I'm also supposed to love and savor kindness. I also can forget that God is God and I'm not, and the responsibility for the whole world is NOT on my shoulders.

In recent months I've been hearing nudges from God to make more space for joy. It has been interesting to notice my own resistance to it. There are biases in me that worry about making space for joy. They tell me that I was born with rose colored glasses, and being an adult member of society requires me to see the injustices of the world clearly. They tell me that joy is trite, and not very serious, and I should be serious. They remind me of the things that break my heart, and suggest I worry more about those and less about trivial stuff. Basically, there is this whole narrative within me that says I'm supposed to be a mature, responsible human, and that means I should just attend to the hard stuff of life.

And that's all really interesting because I KNOW BETTER. I believe that God wants all people to be well, to survive and thrive, to experience joy and wonder. I don't think that anyone is excluded from that, so I believe we are honoring creation and connecting with the Divine when we experience joy.

I know that joy is resistance, that there are parts of our society that try to create anxiety, and sadness for personal gain, and it is useful have joy to repel that. I also know that joy creates internal resistance, making it possible to do the hard things when they come because they aren't the only thing.

I know a God who calls us to Sabbath- away from consumption and productively and into connection- and I know connection to be a great source of joy. That is, I believe God sets aside time for just joy so that we don't get confused into thinking life is just about work and hardship.

I also have the honor of being with people at the end of their life, and being with loved ones after a person has died. I know which memories are savored, which things are regretted, and how meaning is made of a life – and it all ends up calling us towards joy.

Finally, and this one may seem backwards – when we mourn unfair and early deaths, a lot of what we grief is the lack of space for the person to continue to have joy in their lives. That would seem to tell us that those who love us want us to life and find joy and savor it! JUST LIKE GOD DOES.

I know all that, I can expound on it for a lot longer than this, and I still find it hard to let myself do it. Some people are better at this than others, and maybe some roles in life hold emotions differently than other roles. I don't know. I kind of hope this is one of those sermons that doesn't resonate easily.

Some of the ones who are wise about God suggest that goodness, wonder, and joy lie at the heart of all things, and if you can just see them at the right angle, everything positively sparkles with joy. Other wise ones about God say that it is a mark of true faith to have deep joy.

Which is all to say, if there is some resistance to joy in you – be it your own struggles, or seemingly conflicting emotions, or some narratives that tell you that joy isn't right for you – I invite you to push back. God wants joy for you, and requests that you stop squelching it. Joy is for everyone, that's actually the thing we're doing. We're working with God to build the kin-dom of God, and one of the ways we'll know when we get there will be the abundance of joy. And one of the ways we get there is to stop getting in the way of joy!

So, a final story. When I was in college, I had a fairly significant fight with a friend because I'd shared that cookie cutters brought me joy and he maintained that was simply ridiculous. I argued I had a right to feel how I felt, he maintained that … well, basically it seems he said all the stuff I internalized as a narrative about what it means to be a mature adult. Hmmm, I thought I won that fight!! Anyway, there are sugar cookies available with coffee hour today, cut with cookie cutters and decorated with too many sprinkles, and I hope they bring you joy – you deserve it. Thanks be to God for that, amen.

Rev. Sara E. Baron  First United Methodist Church of Schenectady  603 State St. Schenectady, NY 12305  Pronouns: she/her/hers  http://fumcschenectady.org/  https://www.facebook.com/FUMCSchenectady

December 17, 2023

[popopretty]

BSD Chapter 102

Chapter’s name is Jingaimakyou – The first part (roughly translated to “mysterious place out of the human world”). Not sure if it is done on purpose but author Oguri Mushitarou wrote a novel of the same name.

We have a change of pov this month, so we will have to wait at least another month to know what happened in the prison, but instead we get to learn a lot about Bram in this new chapter, and also Bram and Aya interactions are the cutest <3

Please note that neither English nor Japanese is my mother tongue, and Bram’s speech is so hard to understand so I may make mistakes. Please let me know if there is anything you want to correct.

SPOILERS AHEAD

Aya takes Bram to a parking lot and both of them get into a truck of a laundry service. (Bram is like oh this wagon doesn’t have any horses XD). Aya explains to him that besides passengers, there are many other people working in airport service who go in and out of the airport every day. And the securities will not have enough time to check through everything here, so if they get in one of these vehicles and wait, they will be able to get out of the airport once someone drives it out. Bram praises her and Aya is like of course I am the ally of justice.

Aya looks at the sword piercing into Bram and tells him they can look for a way to pull it out together if it hurts. Bram says that it is stupid because once the sword is pulled out, it will release the devil inside him and bring and darkness to earth blah blah blah. Aya then asks him what exactly that sword is, and Bram tells her that the sword used to be human. Hundreds of years ago, when a skill user died, his physical body was turned into metal by the skill, from which this Holy Sword was made. That skill that remains even after the user’s death was the skill to fuse a “physical body” with an “ability”.

We get a quick change of scene here, where Atsushi hears Dazai’s voice calling out for him, telling him to wake up because there is no time. Then he opens his eyes to find himself being tied up in a (supposedly) torture room with Teruko staring at him.

Back to Bram and Aya, Bram continues to explain that the sword has the power to connect the “physical/material” and the “mental” aspect of things, granting the power to control “skills” like a part of the “body”, a skill that goes against the law of this world. When stabbed by the sword, it will take its roots into your brain, and it will craves a holy mark on the person holding the sword. Right now, the mark is on Fukuchi’s hand, which means only Fukuchi can use his power.

Aya says that Bram seems to know about the sword very well, to which Bram tells her that is because he has been stabbed by this sword not once, but twice. There is a flashback of Bram from long ago when he and his kins’ heads were hanged on stakes, in front of a big army who are cheering to “kill the enemy of God”. And Bram was asking the soldiers to have mercy and spare the members of his fief, when one of them called him a demon and slashed his head with the sword.

Back to present, Aya asks why Bram is making such a sad face, Bram says that it’s the worry of the lord that the underlings can never understand. Aya stops him there, asking him if he is calling her an underling, and Bram tells her she is more like a horse because she carries him on his back and takes him around (xD). Aya says she would drown him in a bathtub and Bram somehow acknowledges that it is the way people nowadays worship their lord. Aya says no one can beat him at being a natural airhead.

Suddenly the top of the truck they are sitting are cut off and vampire!Akutagawa appears in front of them. Bram urges Aya to run away as quickly as she can.

The chapter ends here. Next chapter will be out on July 4 (JST). Thank you for reading till the end ^^

[writingwithcolor]

Gingerbread man as golem

@yaronata asked:

I would like to write a character who is Jewish and uses a Golem. She's based on the D&D class of the artificer which looks magic but isn't, because they produce all their effects with inventions, like the "any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic" quote. Her story is that her very Jewish town was under attack from a terrible monster when she was little. Her Rabbis made a Golem to protect the town, and it succeeded but was torn to pieces in the process. She was fascinated by the Golem and as a kid didn't see a big difference between it's sentience and person's so was really thankful for its sacrifice like you would a person's sacrificing their life for you. They thought all the pieces had been devoured by the monster before it died, but she went looking and found the piece used to animate the Golem, which she, kinda misunderstanding called its "heart". She kept the piece and grew up to be an incredibly skilled cook, specialising as a baker in the town. I imagine she would make a lot of really good food for the Jewish holidays, or to break fasts on ones like Yom Kippur or Tish'abav. But she also made a town specific holiday to honour the Golem's sacrifice and the town still being alive, because I feel "we are not dead woo" is a big theme for Jewish holidays from my research, so it could fit, for which she invented ginger bread men to be the golem, and gave them little "hearts" of fruit or honey, and you're meant to eat them limb by limb like the beast did before eating the heart. This would be the inspiration for using the "heart" piece later to make her own giant gingerbread Golem to help her save the world.

These are my questions 1) would it be considered bad or disrespectful for someone who isn't a Rabbi to make a Golem, or is this method of taking an animating piece someone else made disrespectful? 2) Her journey will take her far from her town and her Jewish family and friends and she will likely travel with gentiles. Would it be disrespectful for a Golem to be used to protect a lot of gentiles and one Jew in the course of saving the world? I don't want to fall into the stereotype of someone putting all their effort into valuing and protecting very specifically the group that in real life is oppressive to them. 3) While she is not using magic and is actually mimicking its effects with technology she invents, is this drawing too close to the line of "magical Jew"? 4) I like to "play test" my characters in ttrpgs to really get a feel for them before I write. Would it be disrespectful to play a Jewish character when I am a gentile, and would it be disrespectful to play a Jewish character in a setting where there are demonstrably real gods other than the one of Judaism?

I really like this character idea and I think it's cute and fun and rooted in Jewish culture but I really want to make sure it's respectful and as good as I, a gentile researching on the internet, thinks it is. Thanks so much! Have a nice day!

My answer to this is very complicated because there are things I both like and do not like about this premise. First of all, I love the idea of a cookie golem, and I'm even imagining the magic word that brings him to life (EMET/truth) would be written in icing. And I'm okay with the part about how she found a piece of the old golem and used it to build a new golem, because that makes sense for a golem made from a baked good when you think about how people use sourdough starter to make a new batch of sourdough.

However, here are the thing that make me cock my head to the side like my little sister's German shepherd:

1. re: "magical Jew" - that's not a trope I've ever heard of. Remember, marginalized groups don't receive identical disrespect across the board. It is indeed a trope to use Black people or disabled people as supernatural plot devices who exist only to further the stories of white main characters or able-bodied main characters. But I can't say as I've ever seen anyone using Jewishness that way. Usually if we are someone's one-dimensional plot device it's as someone's lawyer, fixer, "money guy", etc, not a supernatural force. So this isn't something you have to worry about.

2. I have a certain level of discomfort with you playing as a Jewish character just because playacting as a marginalized culture you're not part of strikes me as off, but I understand that that's how you gain insight into a character you're about to write so it's more of a writing exercise than anything else. (I wonder if D&D regulars from marginalized groups have written about this -- I've only played a few times casually with family so if I did run into this type of discussion in my social justice reading I wouldn't have absorbed it. If anyone is curious I played first as Captain Werewolf, and then switched to playing as Cinnamon Blade because lawful good was too hard. :P )

3. I would prefer you omit the detail about eating the cookies piece by piece symbolically, for two reasons: a. it unintentionally evokes Communion by having appreciative people consume a baked good symbolic of an entity who sacrificed his life for theirs, and b. focusing on the details of flesh consumption reminds me too much of Blood Libel (yes, a gingerbread man is in the shape of a person but how many of us actually think about it literally, the way this act would cause?)

As to your first question: I'm fine with her making a golem even though she's just a rando. Second question: I see what you're saying and maybe it could be more okay if it's really clear how well these gentile folks are treating her? And questions three and four are answered above.

I really do love the idea of a giant gingerbread man golem. Cookie golem T_T <3

--Shira

I would like to second Shira’s point about not ripping apart the gingerbread cookies. I honestly would prefer they were used as decoration, and other cookies eaten instead, since that part just feels so not-Jewish to me, but I don’t have golem-specific issues other than that. It seems like you have already been doing a lot of research, which is appreciated.

As far as the ttrpg/DnD aspect… I bounce back and forth on the topic of playing characters that are so very different from our experiences, other than in fantasy-related ways. However, I am aware that a lot of people will play with, and experiment with gender in game, and learn something about themselves in the process (the number of trans players of ttrpgs who tried out their gender in game before they were out is high). It’s different with Judaism, and even more significantly different when it comes to things you can’t convert into, like various actual, real-world races. But because people do sometimes experience growth from experiences like this, I’m hesitant to dissuade players completely. I do urge you to, at a minimum, bring the same care, research, and willingness to learn, that you brought to this question.

--Dierdra

This sounds like a creative storyline that you could have lots of fun with 😊

At first I was confused by this part:

She also made a town specific holiday to honour the Golem's sacrifice

But then you really got me thinking about different types of Jewish holidays and how they come about, so thank you for that!

Because it’s often the little details that either make a story super powerful or kind of nonsensical, I think it would be a good idea to decide what type of holiday is being created here:

A full-blown chag with restrictions on labour and halachic obligations? These are commanded in Torah and new ones can’t be added.

A minor yom tov with halachic obligations but no restrictions? These were instituted by the rabbis prior to the destruction of the Temple, so again new ones can’t be added.

A public holiday or equivalent? This would usually be declared by the Knesset in Israel, and filter to the rest of the Jewish world from there.

A community-based yom tov with specific customs only for people in the know, such as certain Chasidic groups celebrating the birthdays of their deceased leaders? I asked around, but no one can really tell me how these holidays get started, which is probably a good indication that they arise quite organically from a group of people who all just feel that it should be celebrated. Probably not created by a single person, as such.

Something she runs from her bakery, not religion-based, but more like a day of doing special products and deals the way many small businesses do on their anniversary?

Now, if the people of a modern-day town were actually saved by a real live Golem, that would arguably be the most overt miracle for many generations, so there would be a decent chance of options 3 and/or 4 happening. It’s entirely plausible that there could be special foods for this day that become a tradition, including Golem cookies. People who directly benefited might also return to the site where the Golem fought the monster and recite the prayer, ‘Blessed is Hashem, Master of the Universe, Who performed a miracle for me in this place.’

Alternatively, if it’s important that your MC created the holiday, something like option 5 might be the best. Hopefully this will still fulfil what you need: you describe her as incredibly skilled, so I can imagine the day when she goes all out on the Golem cookies being one of the most exciting events of the year for the townspeople, just because her baking is that good. Plus, they already have a personal stake in the Golem’s sacrifice, so I definitely think it could be a thing without being an official holiday. Also, if she is outside of an all-Jewish environment, don’t forget that she would have to decide whether to commemorate the anniversary in the Hebrew calendar or the local one.

Coming back to the cookies, sorry if we’re getting a little repetitive on this point! But I don’t see the cookies being torn limb from limb as part of a celebration. First of all, this doesn’t sound like a very celebratory thing to do, to say the least. Can you imagine explaining that to a three-year-old on their first Yom HaGolem? They would be terrified! (I don’t read this suggestion as accidental anti-Semitism so much as getting carried away with a metaphor, which I’m sure as writers we have all done!)

But also, it’s worth pointing out that our commemorative foods aren’t usually that literal. If you think about hamantaschen, maror, or apple in honey, they’re all symbols. That’s not to say that having Golem-shaped cookies is a problem, as this sounds like just a bit of fun that the MC is having and not something that is directly at odds with Judaism or Jewish culture. But it’s worth bearing in mind that the more literal you go from there in terms of tying the cookies to the event they commemorate, the less culturally aligned your holiday food becomes.

Finally, about the Golem protecting non-Jewish people: I like this idea! There’s a stereotype that we only use whatever is at our disposal to help ourselves and other Jewish people, so a Golem being created by Jews but helping others as well is a big plus for me. Of course, as has already been pointed out, this would be an odd choice if her Saving The World team were anti-Semitic or otherwise disrespectful to her/her community, but I don’t think you were headed that way!

-Shoshi

I have to come back in here just to squee over the phrase “Yom HaGolem.” Well done :D

--Shira