#well it’s actually noon now but yk

[bethiewhimsy]

hello little friends in my phone how are y’all today

[outivv]

— Flower crowns :) —

Synopsis: making a flower crown for wanderer

Warnings: not proofread

Character: wanderer

Pronouns for reader: gender neutral/ not mentioned

A/n: hello hello!! I’m writing this as a… sorta to comfort to myself, and because wanderer releases today!! Wooooo!! I’m so excited I’m gonna be whaling for him in a couple of days, and I really hope to get him and his weapon!! To anyone else who’s pulling I hope c6 wanderer is in your future (even if you’re f2p)!! Anyways, I hope you enjoy, it’s just some nice romantic fluff for you :]!!

“This is ridiculous.” Wanderer Said as you wrap a measuring band around his head “why are you measuring anyways? It’s just a flower crown.” His harsh tone rung through your ears, but you knew he didn’t mean any harm. “It may be just a flower crown, but I like putting a lot of time and effort into these things.” Your bright smile made Scaramouche’s heart pound.

“Well, it’ll wither anyways.” He said going back to his super-tough-mean-and-cold(!!) attitude. “Then… I’ll just made another one!!” How can you be on the bright side so much? It doesn’t matter what happens to the flower crown in the end, you’ll always just keep making more, which wanderer knows. “There, looks like I got you measured, and now-“ you open up a picnic basket full of flowers, that you brought with you “to actually make the flower crown!!” Wanderer let out a groan.

When you started the flower crown it was noon, and when you finished, it was a little past three (He’s got a built in clock yk yk). “Here you are!!” You placed the flower crown onto his head, and it fit. Perfectly. It was a beautiful flower crown, with purple, blue, cyan, and yellow flowers weaved into it. It was a little messy in some areas but wanderer didn’t care, he was gonna cherish it. He was going to hold onto it until it withered, burned, or blew away. He was going to cherish you, until you withered, burned, or left him. Scaramouche would keep both, close to his heart for all of eternity.

[messrsrarchives]

hii just wanted to know your thoughts on regulus/mary in choices. ik its a very controversial topic in the fandom but fir me personally i love how it shows regulus' character. i feel like i'm putting this badly but i think obliviating mary after doesn't really show him wanting her to be happy or smth without her trauma but more regulus still protectinh his own in a way or not wantinh any plans in place to be ruined. like it just shows that regulus is more than someone pretending or trying to do better, but more how complex he is, and how he cares more about things that may come back to him rather than someone elses feelings. i have sm thoughts on this but it's alr so long so i'll leave it here. also mary after it happened!! i love the characterisation in choices omg.

UGH i could yap about this so much,,,

oh wait ! i have ! my main choices yaps: lily mary (i yap a lot so it's at the 1:30 mark)

BUT TO SUMMARISE:

IT'S DONE SO SO WELL!! "i dont think regulus was a very good person" "no, he wasn't. but he wanted to be. and that has to count for something right?"

IT'S RIGHT THERE !!! and i'm 99.9% sure that soph said at one point that the whole reason regulus is involved is to highlight the fact that he is Not a good person! he's not a good person and with a fic focused on morality and how the choices we make turn us into the person we are? SO important that regulus is involved here. and nope, definitely not to protect mary (though i do think there's a part of him that wanted to, but that wasn't the part controlling his actions), it's to cover his back. it's to make sure his plan isn't messed up because he's NOT a very good person, but he wanted to be. and that HAS to count for something.

even just,,, dumbledore and mary. the fact that she doesn't get justice? yes. YES. she wouldn't have. not just because irl hardly anyone ever gets justice for things like this, but because she's (1) a woc who are disproportionately affected and left behind and (2) a muggleborn in a time of drastic conflict - noone would have been on her side even if she DID press charges. mulciber and co would have won, and justice wouldn't have been served either way. BUT - dumbledore doesn't do that. he utilises this event for his own gain, he tries to get regulus to help him and he uses what happened to mary to do that. it's not just regulus whose character is devloped by this, but dumbledore's too. which,,, yk people argue and say that it's just there to DeEpEn ThE mAlE cHaRaCtErS and it's like,,, wow. because irl men have neverrrrrr made it about themselves. because irl men have neverrrrrrr used stuff like this to their own advantage nuh uhhhhh (said as sarcastically as possible)

it's a "controversial topic" because they don't GET IT!!! they don't GET that it's not "oh women shouldn't have justice!!! i hate women!!!" it's actually "hey, this world is going through a lot right now and noone is getting justice for anything and people's lives are being used as chess pieces on a board that doesn't even factor in their existence and even if it did, there's far too many choices to potentially be made that good is so hard to come by"

choices ily. soph ily.

[geee-three]

okay being serious about the hamilton x prsk au now

its not an au theres just. a production of hamilton. hosted by emu ootori who convinced (wonderhoy'd) lin manuel miranda into giving her the rights

wxs puts on a production of hamilton (rui painstakingly teaches tsukasa the entire thing line-by-line and is on the verge of pulling a nightcord by the end SLASH SILLY) and kidnaps other people (i.e. their fans) to help out (take on major roles) with the only pre-requisite being "please speak english and also know your part. we've spent a month trying to drill this into tsukasa's head and we think rui will actually jump off a cliff if we ask him to do it again".

so, with no further ado: the cast list. alexander hamilton - kohane azusawa. while you would expect tsukasa to demand the titular character he did not want to learn that much english (rui refused to teach him) and so he adorned it on his number three fan. who was thrilled. everyone knows my kohane hamilstan agenda by now. she kills it. an does not understand a word but is cheering the entire time. noone tells her that kohane is singing about adultery and tax fraud. aaron burr - toya aoyagi. once again, as a majorly important character, you'd expect this role to be filled by a member of wonderlandsxshowtime. no. toya :D. he knows english he can sing he gets along well with all the other cast members. its perfect! kohane dramatically brings up the fact he shot her on a daily basis from here on out and he dramatically apologises every time. eliza schuyler - nene kusanagi. we finally get to a wandashow member (we'll speedrun them all in a minute). "izza, why do you always give nene, a character allergic to romance, the first love interest?" i think im funny. no yeah i think she would KILL burn. like its dead on the floor. stabbed. perhaps even burnt. (also. nene beatboxing.) angelica schuyler - mizuki akiyama. "izza you said wandashow-" shut. its mizooking time. she mizooks all over the place. some men say that im intense or im insane. you want a revolution i want a revolation so listen to my decloration. george washington - tsukasa tenma. "izza this is still a very major character your excuses make no sense" shush my hamilton production i want kohane as lead. go away. i think blond bitch should be washington. if it works it works yk. king george iii - emu ootori. shes just here to have fun idk man. shes having fun. leave her be. john laurens/phillip hamilton - minori hanasato. i dont have an explaination beyond minokoha queerbait and also i think minori doing the. my name is phillip. i am a poet. and i wrote this poem just to show it. sequence would be amazing. imagine a version of phillip where hes delivering it as normal but with an idol dance routine. yeah. lafayette/thomas jefferson - rui kamishiro. i was actually really stumped on where to put rui. yes i considered maria. i did not do that (evidently). this is just because jefferson is really gay like in the way he dresses and such and i think rui can get on board with that hercules mulligan/james madison - airi momoi. she has officially ruined her idol reputation and haruka has clipped her making sex jokes on stage and turned it into a nightcord emote for the mmj server. ena never lets her live this down and has printed a screenshot of the sex jokes and stuck it to the shinonomefridge. she still stands by her decicion to participate. peggy schuyler/maria reynolds - saki tenma. this one is one of the more streched ones. i couldve put emu here. i couldve put rui here. but no i put saki. why? i simply think shed enjoy it. enrichment. leo/need casually dies in the audience. samuel seabury - ichika hoshino. she has just the right level of seriousness and whimsy to pull this off. phillup schuyler - keisuke ootori. i think im so funny. well? im not. james reynolds - shiho hinomori. she does NOT want to be here but apparently shes married to saki so everythign is okay. what do you mean saki cheated on her with kohane. my bestie you are gettign SHOT. (she gets very in character.) charles lee - mafuyu asahina. mizuki is laughing her ass off. basically mafumom found out that someone mafuyu knew (emu) was putting on a historical play and was all "go on join in!!" and so she did.

yaysies. honami and shizuku and haruka and an and akito and kotaro and tatsuya and hinata and ena and kanade and yuuki (and mafumom i guess) all go to see it and have a variety of reactions ranging from homosexuality to omg look thats my sister!!! to oh my fucking god airis making sex jokes on stage to why didnt my daughter get a bigger part

...@vivid-street i am ashamed of myself but its here now.

[strwbwoo]

| attached; vamp!jun x reader \__________________

cw: vamp!jun, mean jun, pet names, suggestive, fluff, 4.5k words

ready for the most mind blowing one night stand you were about to have, “can i bite you?” leaving you chest wet and branded with darker red hickeys, displaying confusion on your face he elaborates, “..like a vampire” looking away from you for a second, almost embarrassed “a roleplay?” you question. “sure” he sounded hesitant but you didnt care, you were quite needy in the moment. quickly nodding.

“ready pretty girl?” silky velvet eyes looking up at you while peppering sweet kisses on your baby smooth skin, “mhmm” humming as an affirmative but it came out so whiney and impatient, which was true. with that a sharp pain grows in your neck, his teeth. you start to get weaker but it’s intoxicating, addicting, succumbing to something truly sweet inside..

☆

waking up in his bed was not your intention, you went through a process of leaving dead of night while the poor guy was snoring right by you in hopes to wake up next to you and maybe another date but you opposed that idea everytime. you dont like getting attached.

your shirt was big… your shirt was big? it was a soft graphic tee, but it was definitely not yours. looking around, the other side of the bed was messy and empty but the curtains were open, sun giving light to the room and a perfect view of the mountains. a growing smell catching your attention. getting up only to fall back down, good sex but you can’t remember..?

getting out the bedroom was a struggle but as soon as the door opens the voice of such a cunning man fills the room, “some one slept well” taking a seat at the dining table, giving him a small, quiet hum; good sex makes you tired. you find the source of the smell, “breakfast” he states. finding your oh so delicious meal not so pleasing paired witht the thoughts flooding your head as of now..

“what?” you were caught off guard “hm?” looking dead into your eyes, you couldn’t tell if he was serious or not with that smirk and death glare; not a common combination. “how did we-“ its hard to remember when youre bit by a vampire, but how would you know? “what did we… did we do it..?” but he went with it, “ofcourse we did, yk how loud you were?” clearing his throat, “fu- uck! more, more, more! mmm’ so good!” mocking your moans all while contorting his face to further mock you and rightfully so recieving a grimacing look, “you were saying my name like a mantra” chuckling and teasing, “your name…” some how you cant even remember that, “my name” nodding to you, pondering, “jun?” “good job sweet heart” praising you the first time this morning

☆

“i- uh implants..” “implants.?” you question. he nods while avoiding eye contact with a not so cocky attitude now “for a kink?” his teeth and the bite in general gave you such a euphoric sensation so you werent mad about those implants but you werent going to admit it

realizing the time, jus past noon, “fuck” catching juns attention, “what is it darling?” that petname made you want to gush but this wasnt the right time, “i think i better it going” converting the attention to the 3 big numbers on your lockscreen. scrambling to collect all of your stuff; jun right behind you now chuckling, “i dont mind if you stayed” leaning against the door frame with that charming smirk that would get you wild if you were still a freshman in college. but this year your graduating. but still it was like you were on pause, clarifying what he meant, “i have nothing to do i mean” in response, “ohhh” with a complimentary nod

jus the creeping thought of accepting his offer you know youve gone too deep, you needed to get out of this love trap immediately, “id like that” you were getting attached. his smile contagious and your cheeks reddish pink as if you were actually sick.

☆

while spending the afternoon with him you noticed some of his habits hes very well kepts his nails clean, bare but the shine on his nail tell you hes gotten a manicure recently. he doesnt bite the inside of his cheek nor leaving his lips chapped but maybe it wasnt jus noticing one of his habits per se..

less intoxicated than the previous night sharing a bottle of red wine, ended up on his kitchen counter, not realizing his body practically caging you against whatever surface until now, your giggles die down when you notice this.. situation; he was defined. his sultry yet at time course voice helped or maybe it was his vinyls of this certain genre that helped the mood..

“yk you like this” flickering his eyes back up to your doe like eyes but only to be captivatedby your lips again “what? getting attached?” his lips look soft, plump and pink; did he put his chapstick on again? “me”

[zzl0z3rxx]

Intro <3

Hii!! Erm this is my first time doing a into so pls bare with me here😭 This isn’t my 1st time on here or first acc. I was jus getting bored of my old acc so yaur

Erm so ig i’ll tell u some basic info

Im black 😭(so erm if ur racist pls stay like 6 ft away/jk but if u r racist I could care less bc I hate black ppl too 🥰/its giving uncle ruckus)

My fav emojis r:😭😔😛🥰😝💀🤓😼🙁

My fav colour is blue but I have more like sage green, red(all kinda tbh)/ any pastel colours/ and ermm I actually forgot 🙁

I draw erm yeah lol

Im problematic if u couldn’t tell 😭 but guys I promise im nice

My bday:6/26

Ermm i dont rlly have any preference for pronouns but im rlly jus used to she/her(not that im comfortable with those it’s just what my family uses bc ofc they would) but u can use any pronouns(actually no i do prefer he-him-they-them BUT ITS UP TO U GUYS BC IM A PPL PLEASER 😁😁😁😁😁😁)

Also u can call me by my real name Ari or some stupid nickname(pls make one for me) ALSO i have multiple little sonas like idk how to explain it like they’re all me/ for example:Adora Alex, Alex, Riri, Ri, Ira, Adora, and Axel and I think its more. Idk but like all them r the same person but in one IDK BC IDK IF ITS LIKE A DID THING OR NOT😭

I love-hate bugs like I made these lil comics with human designs for bugs and I love researching them but I hate seeing them irl😭 erm well im fine with grasshoppers and ants etc but others NO

Songs I like/love(NOT ALL BC WHO FINNA PUT ALL THAT)

(i love steve lacy/frank ocean/odd future/tyler, the creator/Dazey and the scouts/Destroy boys/AND LOITER SQUAD 😛😛)

ALSO IM NOT SHARING MY AGE ON HERE BC I DONT FEEL COMFORTABLE WITH DOING SO 🥰🥰🥰

My interests

Proships

Eddsworld

Among us(okay guys dont bully me but erm I used to draw among us nsfw/ IT WAS LIKE 2 MONTHS AGO DAWG😭)

Dead plate

Mitski

Tyler, the Creator(im literally getting audio cd’s for Christmas of his albums and I already have his vinyls except for bastard and goblin 😛)

Melanie Martinez

Incredibox Sprunki

Countryhumans(unfortunately 🙁/im a victim fr😔)

Countryballs ig

Ybf/your bf game(okay guys im just joking 😭)

Dick figures(I love this fandom so much, also unrelated but literally NOONE OR NOTHING CAN GET ME TO LIKE HOMESTUCK😭)

Fnf

Fnaf

My oc’s 😛

Pasta(like I rlly like pasta)

Ao3-Archive of our own

Scp

Htf-Happy tree friends

Oddbods(ik they literally don’t say shit and it’s cringe BUT I DONT GIVE A FLYING erm flip i was gonna say flip, but yeah jeff is my pookie fr 🥰🥰)

Necrophilia-other philia’s ig(idk if thats how u even spell it)

Mr. Circus Papa:Ghost eyes/The finger game/and the rest of his comics-art(some of his comics r on webtoon and other apps and u can see some art on patreon)(also bc i dont feel like putting it anywhere else, I DO NOT SUPPORT IRL INCEST OR OTHER STUFF THAT I SAID I ONLY LIKE FICTIONAL THINGS)

Erm im running out of things so MOVING ON

Also a lil not so fun fact/ I wear glasses 🥲

OKAY SO ERM I DONT RLLY HAVE A DNI BUTT(lol “butt”) I WILL SAY THIS IF YOU R LIKE 20-54(okay thats not even a possible scenario) DO NOT INTERACT PLSS but other than that ily guys :3

ALSO PLS DO DONT COME LEAVING DEATH THREATS OR HATE COMMENTS BC I WILL RECORD ME KMS/jk❤️🩷💕💕

Also this blog will be so boring and depressing 😭 like yk SH and vents and ED stuff ig but erm some other stuff this stuff will have ig(i dont wanna actually say bc yk digital footprint/lil bit too late for that bud)but like yk incest shotac0n and other crap idk im rlly lazy so I might not post at all(prob jus reblogs) OH WAIT ALSO I LIKE INVADER ZIM 🥰 forgot to mention that lol also I prob do have other interests too but idk oh I like coryxkenshin(idk how to spell his name😭) aphmau/SSSniperwolf/laurenzside and i kinda used to like inquisitor master(well I liked everyone besides her like yk sora, jaxx and etc.)

But erm guys I think that concludes this intro- OH MY OHIO SKIBIDI GYATT i forgot to tell yall, i know German 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰 but erm yeah thx for reading like fr tho bc not even my friends read the stuff I write for them 🙁 but yaur (i dont think im ever doing a intro again I rather just yap irl-I hate texting 😭)

ALSO IF U WANNA BMF PLSSSSS SAY SOMETHING IM SO LONELY LIKE PLS ASK TO BE MY FRIEND IM SO FREAKING DEPRESSED( I promise im cool :३) (Also if u need to vent my DM’S r always opened! Even tho I may reply late)

I made this at 1:00-2:46 am listening to loyalty by Kendrick im going to be so tired tomorrow 😭🙏(I gotta get up at 5:00 😁)

[themonotonysyndrome]

Good morning/noon/night lady

I had this question in mind for about 2 days now so:How would celica react to being called a war prize? Image this:celica is walking through the gardens when suddenly a group of immature intacians or imperials say that she was just a small gift for Castin for winning the war.That he doesn’t actually care about her and he could get a new prize anytime he wants from Rhett.

Or Yk how Castin promised to give the baroness everything like:his money,army etc (first audio before the wedding)Maybe they will bring that up and assume that the baroness was bought(they assume she is a gold digger lollll)

-Z🐬

Hello again Z🐬Anon! I appreciate that you asked about Celica instead of the Baroness because it makes it easier for me to answer this ask~

I've fleshed out my Baroness - Celica's background to make writing fics about Castin easier. So, let's tackle your question:

How would Celica react to being called a war prize?

It depends, actually! If it's by a bunch of immature Imperials or Intacians (nobodies, really), saying that she'll just ignore them. She's a very secure woman - after all, her House is the second richest in the Empire, just below the Imperial royalty. She has her own empire of networks and businesses across the world. She is very well aware of how beautiful she is, and when you're a woman who has it all, any insults thrown at you would be taken as jealousy from other people. They can't be you, so they are your haters. Gold digger? Please. She's the goldmine. The ego on Celica, I swear 😂

Plus, the only reason she agreed to help the Queen Ascendant (Isolde) with the whole arranged marriage thing was because she was worried about her. Falling in love with Castin became a bonus!

But if the insults of being a war prize came from the higher Imperial nobilities and those with serious influence in Intacia? Yeah, Celica has to retaliate lest people think that she's weak. And thus, retaliation usually comes in the form of public humiliation. Case in point, what happened in that latest fic I posted on AO3.

[easy-revenge]

hey!! idk if tumblr ate my ask, the himeno brainrot has faded or if you just didn’t feel like it (which is so valid lmao no worries) but i would love to hear your headcanons for her!! xx

hiii so sorry !! i actually started answering ur ask when i was on vacation a couple weeks back and then i didnt have enough ideas and put it in my drafts....and to no one's surprise i forgot about it lmao so thank u for reminding me !!

also i can't NOT have himeno brainrot atp don't worry heheh

however im afraid I won't deliver too much on this bc instead of like individual headcanons ive mostly just filled in the blanks that canon left with my own things (often self-indulgent) and made up a life for himeno which i now basically treat as canon lmao (yes this is delusion central)

i will attempt this though but fair warning that a lot of the behaviors and things i associate with her aren't very wholesome or a jolly good time (i suffer daily with this brain)

(cw for mentions of addiction and a lil bit of drugs, i promise it gets more lighthearted after the first few ones lmao)

so, starting off strong, I don't think himeno spends a lot of her time sober. namely, i headcanon her almost always running on some kind of buzz. i think it's established that she handles her liquor well so i dont think it would be noticeable at work, but considering she trained under kishibe for a long time, i can see her having a flask of her own and sipping at it throughout the day.

in the same spirit, i think she would also take any opportunity to properly get wasted. friday nights with aki at her apartment, outings with the people from work etc, especially if she doesn't have work in the morning. i think maybe she believes she's more fun to be around when drunk.

i don't think these behaviors are about entertainment, but rather a way she's found to be more "functional" and able to keep doing what she does and uphold the carefree persona she's established, hence incorporating them into her life to the point of very rarely being stone cold sober.

i think she also doesn't like the idea of her family knowing about how she copes. maybe she doesn't answer her father's phonecalls sometimes, scared of sounding too noticeably drunk at noon on a tuesday. or she's often stressed about her sister's occasional surprise visits in case she comes over and finds himeno's place in disarray and her in a similar state.

apart from alcohol, which is basically canon, i once had a thought about himeno occasionally abusing pills. pain meds prescribed for recovering from a work injury hitting just right paired with some beer on the side one evening and boom yk. i bet it wouldn't be too hard for her, considering her line of work, to get her hands on opioids regularly enough, especially since the story is set in the 90s and doctors used to prescribe them left and right before the amount of patients getting dependent skyrocketed.

to complete the holy trinity of vices, again based on things mentioned in canon, i think himeno is also the type of person to sleep around a lot with distraction being the objective. she has a reputation for getting flirty and handsy with ppl from public safety when drunk and i think that speaks for itself. this is not inherently a vice ofc, but in her case I don't think she engages in this behavior being sound of mind. it almost never happens when she's sober and i headcanon her often regretting it at least briefly the next day.

oof that was a lot lmao. um chill anyways, on a lighter note i have a couple thoughts about her relationship with aki !!

i think it's a habit for them to take care of each other's injuries after missions. im actually writing a fic about aki showing up at himeno's doorstep, bleeding and expecting to be taken care of in his own begrudging, stuck up way lmao. i think himeno is less likely to straight up go to his house for that, but i see them leaving public safety and going home together to shower and bandage their wounds in companionable silence.

additionally to that whole thing, i personally do believe that their relationship could've had a non-platonic side to it, albeit still casual in its nature. leaving that aside, i think they share quite a bit of affection and physical touch regardless, considering how casually we see them invading each other's personal space in canon. so i think they sleep in the same bed a lot, after tending to each other's wounds, or getting too drunk in himeno's living room. i think it took a while for aki to stop being tense and relax into it, but they settled into a comfortable zone and it was sth they both needed more than they would ever admit.

fujimoto once talked about himeno and said that she is the type to leave a lot of her stuff behind at aki's place and u better believe i ran with it. clothes, hair brushes, a spare toothbrush in the bathroom, you can't change my mind. i also think that to some extent it goes both ways. himeno has a shitload of aki's tupperware at her place, from all the food he brings her weekly, and she never washes them unless aki comes over to do it himself and by the time he decides to take some back, there's always more. black hair ties are often littered in her bathroom cabinets and on one of her night stands. a book on her windowsill that aki brought to read before bed once and then never took home.

not to get dark again, but talking about them is bound to make me sad sooner or later :) based on the way she thinks about aki's death in canon, i think she would often panic when thinking about aki's shrivelling lifespan, especially at the beginning when aki had a lot of years to spare and surely used the sword more freely. i imagine her being restless in her bed with aki sleeping next to her, feeling compelled to check on his breathing or his pulse. reach over and touch his hand to feel him alive and warm, hoping it would soothe her to sleep.

i also think she's there a lot of the times aki cries. i bet the first time she saw him was accidental, or at least not a conscious decision on aki's part. i also bet himeno didn't really know what to think of it initially, but soon looked at aki under a different light bc of it. i think aki finds comfort in himeno being in the same room as the tears spill from his eyes after a day of watching people die. and i think himeno loves giving him that, even though it tugs at her chest in uncomfortable ways she can't quite point out.

i feel compelled to but i won't go into the whole being in love with aki situation, because first of all its not even a headcanon but very much there and secondly i will ramble indefinitely about how i think her pining for him would manifest and this is already a huge post god bless

on a slightly different note before i bring this to a close, i like thinking about her bond with kishibe a lot as well. it's not shown enough in the anime or manga, but i imagine them being friends. i think they would go out for drinks but more to talk than get wasted. i think they'd have the capacity to talk about very real things but also nothing at all. kishibe might be the only person himeno talks to properly about aki, aside from her letters to her sister, because he shares the same life as her and inevitably has more space tl understand. maybe kishibe gets to talk a bit about quanxi too.

haha oh well :D that's all i have for now. if u read this far thank you and also im sorry lmao. hadn't sat down to microwave himeno like this in a hot minute i loved getting the opportunity to do it so thanks for the ask anon !! till next time ~

[yykins]

camping? no way! | kim jiwoong

summary: to celebrate the university's 48th anniversary, you and all of the students went camping.

pairing: kim jiwoong x fem!reader

genre: fluff

warning:  curse (sh*t)

note: the story is a little too fast, cuz my brain isn't working while making this anyways i hope y'all enjoy/like it!

First of all

I hate camping. yes. i do.

Especially when it's a school activity.. there's this BAD part of it where yk people doing some shit together at the tent while the teachers is away, not minding other people who is just there trying to sleep or relaxed. OR all of your classmates sitting together in a circle while the campfire is on the middle, and they be playing truth or dare omg ykyk doing some nasty shit eh, IHATETHATGAMESOMUCH!

Now for the GOOD part. The only good part on here is i'm with my best friend, we're just here to enjoy and most importantly appreciate the nature YES, we gonna appreciate it everyone cuz if we didn't we will be doomed.

~~~

“ i hate this ” i mutter while building my own personal tent. I didn't actually agreed to be in here, my friend just keeps telling me to come with her and she said it will be so boring if i'm not in there, she has no one to talk to.

My friend scoff in response. “ c'mon this is your first time going on a camping, why don't you just enjoy the presence of the nature around you hm ” she said while smiling at me.

I just looked at her blankly, how i am supposed to be enjoying this. i'm an indoor person trying out outdoor activities, the heck.

"don't worry, he also agreed to be in here" she said smirking. i quickly looked at her. "girl don't tell me.." i said while trying to stop myself from smiling.

"Yes. he agree-" i jumped happily and quickly hugged her. “ THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU SO MUCH!! AHH" bro, now i know how am i gonna enjoy this.

~~~

Today is the day where i'm gonna die.

Getting lost in the woods is definitely a very common situation, right. well guess what?

Yep that's a great guess. i'm lost! unfortunately, i'm unlucky today, it's been an hour since i'm in here. I'm starting to feel a little hungry and also the sun is on the middle which means it's only noon.

My friend and i was planning to take a stroll on the forest, which is stupid for both of us to agree. Now i'm all alone because my idiot friend just left me in this stupid forest.

I've been walking around and i feel like i'm walking in circles, my legs is starting to feel like giving up, so i sat at the stone for awhile and look around, haven't seen any suspicious in here, it's just full of giant trees and big stones.

"This is not a great timing on getting lost, WHY?"

After i said that, i hear something, i quickly look at my right which is where i heard it, this is so fucking creepy, c'mon man, i hope it's just an animal that's not deadly. I was literally hugging myself because of the fear, bro. I don't know what to do, i'm not prepared in this kind of situation.

My feet is starting to come to where the sound was, dude my curiosity can't handle this. Oh my god i hope it's just a deer or maybe a bear that is friendly?? cuz if it's not, i'm so dead.

"Wait hold up- a bear that is friendly have you lost your mind?!"

I faced palm myself.

I moved the bushes away and peek slowly, i sigh in relief, there is no one, oh my god, thank you lord! Praise the lord everyone!

Someone tapped my shoulder which make me screamed in fear. I look behind me, omg it's him... wait- IT'S HIM !? Yow wait- Bro, it's him, what am i supposed to do?! shit i'm panicking. I quickly cleared my throat and fix myself.

"hey jiwoong.." help i'm shitting on my pants right now, my man was lookin' fine today eh.

"hey.. what are you doing in here? are you somehow taking stroll? or..?"

"yeah, i AM taking a stroll.. heh, what about you? what are you doing in here?"

"you know just fishing.. i was about to go on that way, when i see you slowly peeking on the bushes, it was quite funny tho" He said while trying to hold his laugh. dang man that was cute- i mean.

"oh HAHAHAHAH, yeah, i mean it's you.. you know the person that i've been longing to.. sh*t." I quickly ran out in scene. That was so embarrassing!

It's been an hour since that happened, and it still lingers in my mind. after that i finally found my way back and went straight in to my tent.

"wow man, what a day.. i just wanna go home"  i stretch my back and untie my shoes putting them in my bag, i change in to one of my t-shirt and gray sweatpants. I unzip my tent's zipper and sat. "it's indeed cold today no?" i look at my left and yep, my man is already here.

"oh- yeah it is, they didn't lie eh, how did you get in here so fast?"

"ahh, i don't know.."

"oh k" i just nodded in response 'this is awkard as hell'. "you know what? your quite an interesting one.. might also consider your comfession earlier, hm?" he said as he plastered a smile on me.

Damn, my prayers have been answered.

[my-castles-crumbling]

im really sorry to dump this here but im actually so upset and i need to get this out and i have noone else to say it to

(just a note though that religion and homophobia is discussed so its okay if you dont want to talk about this)

i just found out my best friend (like, sirius and james kind of friend) is massively homophobic. weve been friends for years snd years now and he knows im a lesbian and he never said anything outwardly bad about it before now, but last night he had a few drinks in him and started talking about how he doesnt support the lgbt+ community and firmly believes anyone in it is going to hell, and that he hopes one day we'll 'see the light'

he then went on to say that hes not going to actively hate on queer people because what we do doesnt affect him or his life, and as far as ive seen thats completely true, hes never done or said anything hateful towards the community besides what he'd just said about going to hell etc.

i really dont know how im supposed to feel about all this. i felt like crying last night when he was talking because this is like, my platonic soulmate yk? and hes not actively or directly saying/doing anything against the community, but it also feels like what he said was hateful and all, but again hes never discouraged my own sexuality (in fact, hes actively encouraged and supported me when ive tried to date girls) so i almost feel id be wrong to be angry about what hes now said after hes still supported me anyway, even though he feels so strongly that its wrong

i just feel so lost and i really dont know what im supposed to do or feel about it

(sorry again to dump this on you aha)

Hi!!! <3

Ugh, this is so hard. Friends are so important, especially friends like you described. But a friend that doesn't support your identity? Honestly for me, this would be a BIG red flag. Because..idk I'm not a super trusting person to begin with, and to hear that would break my trust.

To me, at this point in history, if you're not actively being an ally for someone, then you might as well be fucking them over. I mean, does this person vote for policies that could hurt the lgbtqia+ community, and you by extension? Does he associate with people who are actively doing things to harm that community or other marginalized identities?

It seems like an excuse. "Oh, I don't shout my hatred from the rooftops, so it's okay." No. No, it's not.

And, to add to that, how will it feel now, to talk to him once you begin dating someone? Will it feel fake, even if he supports you? What about, down the road, if you ever get married? Will he want to be in your wedding? Will he refuse to go?

I guess, to me, this is a huge problem. But I'm also different than you. It may be, to you, he means enough to you that it's worth looking past. But I don't think I could do that.

The reality is, this sucks either way. And you have every right to feel upset and hurt. But I guess now you have to decide how you want to be upset and hurt by this.

I am so, so sorry that you're going through this.

<3

[loufi8iepuff]

Cd - Lee Felix (part 1/?)

Warnings and/or tropes: Unrequited love (for now), Bestfriends to lovers, Angst-ish? Cheating (Not Felix though) There is no food, other than mentions of hot coco.. There is some swearing, but thats it(:

Summary: You and felix had been friends since childhood and were still best friends to this day. Your moms were best friends and you lived next-door to each other, so it just naturally happened. Felix had been hiding his feelings for years, but one day you found a cd with your name on it, listened to it and his secret got spilled... dun dun dun!!

(This is kinda old.. don’t know how I feel about it.)

Word count: 4280

Stray Kids Masterlist - where you will also find my main!

-

The rain is hitting the window hard. I'm sitting in clean warm clothes and my wet ones are drying. Me and Felix are the only people in the dorm and we're currently watching a movie in his room.

When the rain started, I ran outside immediately. And Felix came outside right after. We ran and danced out in the rain for ten minutes before Felix got too cold and we had to go back inside.

"I want hot cocoa" Felix suddenly exclaims.

"Girl, relax. You scared the shit out of me."

"Sorry" He says not looking sorry at all. Felix stands up, or rather jumps and then runs into the kitchen.

"Ay Sonic, wait for me"

I follow him into the kitchen and he turns around to look at me with a weird mixture of disappointment and.. I don't even know. the face of a shocked toddler, slapped across his face.

"There's no more cocoa powder."

"Well if you want it; there's some in stores, Einstein. Aaand if you don't, can we go back to the movie now, please?"

"i definitely want it"

"Aw cmon.. Do you want me to come with you?" Please say no, please say no, plea-

"No it's okay.."

"Thank you, Lexi. Thank you! That's why i love you, yk" I hug felix and hurry him out the door, while he just looks at me amused.

It really is why I love him. Not because he went to the store alone, but because he really knows me. He knew that I didn't actually want to go even though I didn't show it. Which i am really good at, not to brag.. -Not showing my feelings, that is.

No one has ever known me as well as he does. I feel like he really understands me. He sees me. So I feel care-free around him and i dont give a fvck how I act around him: he still sees the real me no matter what I do.

He is my safe-space, in a way..

The dorm is now really quiet. Other than the rain, the only thing I can hear is my own thoughts. And i'm bored.

I stand up and walk around the room. Felix had gotten a new lamp. And new curtains. Finally! I've for months tried to get him to buy some.

My eyes are slowly scanning the room. I'm not sure what for.. But then they stop, on a cd. In the left corner, with my name written on it.

I stare at it. For what feels like forever. I really, really, really, really want to find out what's on it, but I can't.

Right? It's his property. But it has my name on it... it's not really mine, though. And he'll probably show it to me when he's ready. It's probably a surprise?..

Mmm I don't think so; He knows I don't really care for surprises...

And before I know it, the cd is in my laptop, loading.

And then it's ready. I click play.

"Hi (y/n)... This is your best friend, Felix.

I just... i uh.. I wanted to te-.. I can't do this. What am I even supposed to say?

I don't think I've ever been more confused than I am right now.

Just tell her how you feel.

That voice wasn't Felix'.

Yeah, I can't do that. I don't know how to.. This feels awkward.

Just imagine that she is right in front of you...

No, that's definitely Lee Know. Then there was a pause. Noone said anything.

And then talk.

Well, (y/n); I'm in love with you. yeah.. that's something.

What? ...

Why are you so stiff?

I try to react; but nothing. It's like im parralized.

I don't know. How aren't you? Do you do this often, or something?

I-... Don't try to change the subject. You wanted to do this.

You said that (y/n) likes long, genuine confessions, so do that!

I don't know how to start.

And I don't know what to think. Felix is in love with me. I can't think. So i don't. I just listen.

Just start with.. when did you fall for her? And how? Describe it.. in detail.

Well.. (y/n) and i wer-

Don't tell me; tell her.

Okay..

(y/n), you were fourteen and I was fifteen. We were two young, dumb teenagers running around on the beach. The warm sand burning under our feet. The music was loud and our voices even louder, when you looked at me.

Oh, how you looked at me.

Your smile was brighter than the sun, so bright it started a fire in me when you stood close to me. The flames spread across my cheeks and into my soul.

It felt like your eyes were talking to me. Telling me everything I wanted to hear. About how much you cared about me, that I was precious and important and unique and yours.

That last one was true. I was yours. I am yours. No matter how much I wanted to avoid or ignore it, it was the truth.

That day, on a warm summer day six years ago was the day I realized that I loved you. I was deeply, unconditionally and utterly, completely in love with you.

Well done.. Now yo-

*beep*

And it stopped and I immediately started the next clip.

*Click*

It was your fifteenth birthday. We decided to throw a party ourselves. We baked a cake together. The cake was big and yellow, with daisies as decoration. You told me you wanted to add my favorite flower too, because I was a part of you anyways. I told you that I didn't have one.

I lied. I loved daisies.

You made me love daisies. Everytime i see them I think of you smiling, laughing even and I smile too. I smile until my cheeks go numb and it feels like my heart is about to burst.

We decorated my house in everything rainbow-colored we could find. Originally we were going to have the party in your house, but your mom's plans got canceled and she'd be home. So you begged me to let it be in my house.

You didn't beg for a long time. you didn't have too, because i agreed after barely a minute had passed. I couldn't say no to you, and I probably will never be able to do so.

When the first guest came you ran over and welcomed them. You hugged every single one of them.

Sometimes I hate how you get along with everyone. And that you become all overly comfortable, so you are touchy and share everything with everyone. It's probably pretty dumb that small things like that make me jealous.

We put music on and had been dancing for about an hour when it happened. I was looking at you and you were looking at me, but for a second your eyes wandered across the room, back to me and away again. This time your eyes stayed behind me.

Your eyes changed from your normal happy self to one of someone that was being hypnotized.

I turned around confused and you were looking at a guy I had never seen before. by the looks of it you hadn't either. He was tall, with flowy hair and had a charming smile, or smirk, plastered across his face.

Just your type and I hated it.

You walked over with your back straightened, hips swaying slightly and your stomach flexed. You introduced yourself using the same voice you always do when you flirt with people.

But this time it was different, I knew it was. You had never looked twice at anyone, except him. I stupidly thought It was because you might be looking at me, that you might've liked me.

For the rest of the night you talked and flirted and danced and flirted a little more with him, while I sat in a corner looking at you.

The next day you asked him out on the phone. In front of me. You held my hand, because you were nervous.

I hated this.

I hated how he was the one that made you nervous. You, the person that never gets nervous. I hated how I had to stand there and watch everything unfold. I hated how he took all of your attention away, not leaving one bit for me. That day or the day before was probably the first time you didn't notice that something was wrong with me. And it wasn't because I was good at hiding it. You just didn't look at me.

*beep*

*Click*

The next year on your birthday, you didn't want to celebrate it. You were too busy blabbing about your one year anniversary.

We baked a cake again. like we had done every year, but this time it was for him. It was black and white and in a weird minimalistic design.

After you had started dating him you stopped wearing your necklaces. The ones that look like it was made in a kindergarten. You never wore colorful makeup anymore. You never skipped along beside me, you walked. You stopped smiling as much as you used to.

He took you away from me, and all there was left was a pretty bad imitator.

A day before your anniversary, I came home, tired, from school. I walked in the door, through the hallway and into the kitchen. You were sitting on the counter, with his face attached to yours. He looked like a starving hound. His hand was running up and down your thigh. Way too far up. So far that you showed visible signs of uncomfortability.

My bag fell to the ground and you immediately stopped to look at me. When you saw me you pushed him off of you and hurried him out the door.

I just stood there. -looking like an idiot.

You came back and started apologizing over and over again. I think you told me that you didn't think I'd be home and you couldn't go to your house because your anniversary gift wasn't hidden. I can't be sure though, because I started yelling at you.

At first you didn't react, thinking that I was just tired and frustrated. -which i was. Just not from school.

I was so tired of seeing you with him, when I knew he didn't deserve you. It wasn't that he was a particularly bad boyfriend, -on paper anyways. He just didn't know you and he didn't try too. You were the one putting in the hard work and you hid it from him to not hurt his feelings or to not seem desperate or clingy. He didn't even lift a finger and you deserve someone who would move mountains for you like you do for everyone else.

You tried to calm me down. To make sure I didn't say anything I'd regret.

Surprise, surprise; it didn't work.

I yelled at you for not being more stubborn about your boundaries. I told you that you were clingy and desperate and obsessive.

It didn't even make sense. Those two are like opposites and none of it was true. I was just mad and jealous that I wasn't the one you spend all your days and time on.

The day after, when I called, you told me that it was okay, that you knew I didn't mean it and that I should stop worrying about it. I couldn't, because I knew that you were hurt. So I jumped over the fence and into your backyard. I could see you in the window. You had a big bouquet of roses in your hand and carefully smiled.

I walked back to my house looking down at my feet. It was a weird feeling. I couldn't decide whether I was mad or sad or happy or disappointed. All, maybe?

*beep*

*Click*

Two months later, a little before my eighteenth birthday, it was my last day in Australia. I packed yesterday, because you told me that you wanted to spend the whole day with me.

We took the bus because none of us could drive yet. We went to an amusement park. I went on every ride you wanted to go on, mostly just so I could see you smile like you used to.

We went for a walk in the park and later on, we went to the beach. You immediately ran into the water. Fully clothed. You yelled at me to come and join you. My flight was in a few hours and I really didn't want to be soaked while waiting in line, but I still followed you. Like I always do.

Time flew by and before we knew it my mom called me, ready to pick us up. We ran to the closest store to get some dry clothes and took turns changing in the bathroom.

The car ride was quiet. You followed me inside the airport to stay with me as long as possible and when it was time to say goodbye you hugged me and wouldn't let go of me.

"Don't leave me, Felix. Please?"

That's what you said to me. You sounded desperate and tired. I didn't really want to leave you, but I knew I couldn't stay.

"Stay, Felix"

You said my name again. It makes me nervous. I love the way my name sounds coming from your lips. You usually call my some dumb nickname. The dumber the better, apparently. But right then you didn't talk to me the way you usually do. You wanted to convince me that you needed me to stay.

I don't think you lied to me on purpose, but I was sure it was a lie. You could live without me. It would hurt, sure, but you would survive. I couldn't. I couldn't live without you. Nor could I live with you. Not with him around.

So I ran. I ran to a whole other country. Maybe that makes me a coward, but it was the only option I could see back then. If i moved away, i could still talk to you and have you in my life, and either forget he existed, which probably wouldn't work, since you always talk about him, or i could move on.

I hugged you one last time. I promised that I would call everyday, no matter what. And then I left.

*beep*

*Click*

I kept my promise. I called everyday and even on the days where I was extremely busy I still called, later at night.

Even though we called every night you felt so far away. I missed hugging you so much. I missed seeing you jump around, do really dumb stuff and then get hurt.

Not the last part! I don't like seeing you get hurt. But uhh...

You missed...?

Minho again.

I.. uh missed seeing you smile and laugh. In real life and not just on camera. I missed playing card games with you. -even though I always lost. I missed those times where you'd kiss my cheek to make me flustered, when you were losing in Mario Kart. I missed your dumb nicknames and all your random complements.

I missed you. So much.

You always told me how you really wanted to come visit me, that you would move here when you turned eighteen. I honestly thought you were joking, but knowing you; I should've known better.

You also always told me that you were so proud of me, even, especially when I got eliminated. And then when I debuted you seemed even more excited about it than I did. You ran around telling everyone that your best friend was a famous idol.

Time to time you send me gifts. Like a million bracelets you made for me or a drawing you made of me. It made me so happy. I'd be running around, grinning like an idiot for a week after you gave me something. I still wear your bracelets everyday.

You stopped talking about your boyfriend as much. Actually nearly never. It happened so little I actually forgot he exited sometimes. I really wished he didn't.

The other members teased me about you all the time. I told them that I didn't feel anything for you, but none of them believed me. Noone talks about a friend, the way I talk about you. It was incredibly obvious, you'd be an idiot if you didn't notice.

You're an idiot, (y/n).

Maybe you weren't. Or maybe you're still not one. Maybe you did notice, you just didn't want to believe it or you didn't want to hurt my feelings.

I hope that's not the truth. I hope that you are just really oblivious.

(y/n), if you hear this and don't have any feelings for me; please, just reject me. If you do, I might be able to move on. I don't think you'll hear this, though. I'm way too scared to confess.

*beep*

*Click*

The month before your birthday you started talking more and more about how you wanted to go to Korea. So much that you actually started planning it and started saving up for it. And before I knew it you were sending me to look at a new apartment for you in the area, since you couldn't go yourself.

Not too long after we found a small, inexpensive apartment just around the corner.

And then you were here. You were standing right in front of me, smiling widely. You hugged me and I could actually feel your arms around me. It felt so surreal.

You started handing me some gifts from my family and friends back home, and you made me help you carry some of the bags.

I introduced you to Chan, who drove me to the airport, and you hitted off immediately. Later that night, when I took you to meet the rest of them, you also got along just as quickly. Maybe you got along a bit too well.

I wasn't really jealous. I knew none of them would ever get with you. They wouldn't do that to me. I was just annoyed about how much the boys teased me about you. In front of you. If it already wasn't obvious it sure was now.

But you didn't notice. -or didn't care. You just laughed. Sometimes you even played along.

They just kept doing it. They still do it now.

I think it took me a week or so to realize that you were actually here. With me.

It didn't take you long to get used to this, though. In a month you probably knew the area better than I did. You always hung around in the dorm.

At first you didn't stay there for too long at a time, because you didn't want to intrude, but after I finally convinced you that the other members really liked having you there; you stayed longer.

It was really nice having you there. Most of the time. That christmas, we wanted a small celebration with just us in the dorm, but your boyfriend had planned a surprise visit for you.

So christmas evening you came over hand in hand with your precious boyfriend. You were wearing his jacket, even though you were never cold. You went around the room and introduced him to everyone. None of them liked him. Mostly, well only because I didn't. Some of them hid it well, but others, Specifically Hyunjin and Lee Know, weren't even trying to.

I felt bad, because you felt bad. I think it was worse for you than it was for him.

When you guys left the others tried to comfort me. They told me that I was so much better than him, that he wasn't all that, but it didn't really help. It made it so much worse that I thought he was a good person.

He was charming and smart and good-looking and really good at nearly everything.

And you liked him. A lot. That's what you told me. Even after two years you hadn't even told each other that you loved each other. It gave me a bit of hope. i shouldn't have, but it did.

It shouldn't have, because I knew why you hadn't. You didn't know whether you actually did or not. I thought you did. I mean you care about him, you had feelings for him, you had been with him for two whole years. Why wouldn't you love him?

I asked you about it and you told me that you knew that you knew you could live without him. You would definitely be really hurt if he left, but it would be okay. You told me that you loved me and you couldn't live without me and you just didn't feel that way about him.

I remember that night so clearly.

We had just watched some romantic comedy with Sungmin, Hyunjin and I.N, it was about a girl and her best friend. She had a boyfriend, but later realized that she didn't love him and only loved her best friend.

It was a good movie. I imagined that it was me and you. Even though you were nothing like the main character. She was shy, closed off and maybe a little whiny. You're definitely not like that.

I.N, Hyunjin and Sungmin left after the movie and we started talking. You weren't a big fan of the movie. You actually said you hated the boyfriend simply because he didn't like books and jokingly judged the main character for loving them.

We kept talking and I jokingly compared you, me and him to the plot. And you just said:

"I don't think i love him, Felix"

"I love you felix, but i dont trust him the way i trust you. And, I don't care about him as much."

I had no idea what to say, so I just stayed quiet and listened. I closed my eyes and kept listening. For just a second I let myself imagine that, when you said you loved me, you meant it like that. That you felt the same way about me. Only for a second.

At the end of the day you were with him and not me.

*beep*

*Click*

You were going back to Australia to surprise your boyfriend on your third anniversary.

It felt weird, because even though I was still in love with you, I had kind of just accepted that you were with him. It didn't really hurt anymore. He loved you, you loved him and I loved you. That was just simply how it was. I honestly thought you were going to be together forever.

So imagine my surprise, when you called me, absolutely pissed and asked me if I could book a new flight for you.

I was so confused and when I asked you what happened, you simply told me he cheated. Just like that.

You stayed with your parents for the night and flew back early in the morning. I had Chan drive me there again and we picked you up. You didn't say anything the whole way home. Chan dropped us off at your apartment.

The second we walked through the door you hugged me, you clung to me like a magnet. And you started crying, probably for the first time since it happened.

You told me everything that night. How you were so excited and barged in, just to find him with another woman.

At first he tried denying it, then he promised it was a one the thing and that it would never happen again, then he started blaming you.

He accused you of cheating with me.

Which is absolutely ridiculous because: One; you would never in your life cheat. Two; you had never even looked at me like that. Three; you really cared about him.

He probably only said it to feel less guilty. He knew that nothing was going on between us, he was just a dick.

I felt really guilty that I let him hurt you. I thought i had excused everything with me just not liking him because of my feelings, but i now see that he was just a good actor.

I promised myself that I would never let anyone hurt you ever again. That's why I became so cautious with who I "let" you go out with.

*beep*

*Click*

It took you a while to get over him. Not any longer than I thought it would, but a while.

After a few months you started going outside again. Mostly just to shop for groceries or to see me, but that's still progress.

On my birthday we remade your fifteenth birthday cake. It was obviously a bit better than the first try, but other than that it was identical.

You slept over at the dorms for the first time, since your ex-boyfriend hadn't let you over before. You slept in my arms that night. It was the first day since the break up you hadn't talked, and probably, thought about your ex.

By Christmas you barely ever thought about him, so you decided that you wanted to start dating again. And then you went on dates.. a lot. You went out every weekend, but none of them became a second date.

It felt like playing the slowest game of russian roulette ever. Or waiting for a grade on an exam you already know you failed, but you need to pass to get into college.

I was preparing for that one time where you are gonna call me, -or even run to the dorms, just to tell me about how (in great detail) someone else was the most amazing person ever and how well they treated you. Even though we'd both know that it was just minimal effort and basic human respect.

That hasn't happened yet, though.

This felt worse than when you were with him, because even though he's a dick, I knew he wouldn't hurt you. Physically that is. But when you go on dates with all of these strange people you met online or through friends, I have no idea of what they might do to you.

I tried to tell you this, but you just get annoyed. You tell me, everytime, that you know and remind me how you have been a woman for long enough to know. And then I can't really say anything more. What would I even say?

"I, a cis man, know way better than you and you should listen to me" or i could just confess and you'll stop for a short while and then just do it again in secret to not hurt my feelings. Yeah, that would make it so much safer, wouldn't it?

I do know that you know, (y/n). I just also know that you've never cared about your own health, to give a sh*t.

*beep*

*Click*

So... yeah.

(y/n), I love you. A lot more than you think.

But please don't feel guilty about anything that happened that might've hurt me... And please don't give me a chance because you feel guilty.

If you do -give me a chance; let it be because you actually have feelings for me.

I'll be okay. I just really don't wanna ruin our friendship. (y/n), I can't lose you.

If you hear this and you don't feel anything for me, please just tell me and then pretend you never heard this. Don't even hide anything to spare anything to spare my feelings, just pretend it never happened..

Please run to me and rant about this new person you met, ask me for relationship advice when you need it and let me be your best-man to your wedding. I just want you to be happy, and then I'll be happy too.

So.. goodbye, (y/n). I'll see you later, I guess... Bye."

*beep*

Wow.

Honestly now that I think about it, it was very obvious.

I think I didn't see it because; i have my whole life avoided thinking about Felix in that way.

I hate this. I feel nauseous. Like someone just punched all my guts out of me.

Felix loves me and I don't love him. He has felt like this for years. And I didn't notice, even though it was so dang obvious.

If i'd ju-

*SLAM*

That was the door. Felix is back.

"Honey, I'm home!"

Well, sh*t.

- 

Here is part 2. 

[taintedtort]

oooohhh~ myyyy~ i dont even one to ask it, but characters reaction on older sibling is just so damn good. absolutely sweetest parts are Xiao's ofc and Kazuha's.boy can u imagine this reliefed sigh adeptus would let out when readers sib finally starts coming around?but another thing, how fun it would be since someone for a change felt brave enough to bully damn yaksha???id imagin3 Xiao's face at their first interaction would be priceless.("if i thought that y/n was strange human, her sibling is even more so" kind of tjoughts id imagine). Poor man would probably be so so surprised someone dared to act so harsh around an immortal being..oh well, at least they are not afraid of him, thats probably for the better.and damn u showed Xiao so cute like this, being happy his partners sib finally stops being such a meanie and now he can breath freely..

Kazuha is so sweet trying to win this person over with his natural calm friendly nature and poetic charms.how sweet of him to try and keep being nice even tho readers sib obviously acted unreasonably rude.true sweatheart.and Wanderer,im always happy when authors do not bend characters just for the sake of the sorry, i always feel like saying thank you honestly.because yes, there is no way Wanderer would just play a role (at least not after it doesnt work first time) and be sweet to obviously just as annoyed sibling of readers.he would treat them the same way they treat him, but still he loves his oartner and tries to uphold facade along with the sib as long as it needed.and ofc i love that u showed that Wanderer still not just illogicaly rude, he just blant and perfectly capable to hold a normal conversation.as long as other dont gets on his nerves so much..

Childe probably would be the fastest to actually bond with readers sibling, i agree with your vision on him.i mean, two grown ups gushing about their orecious sibs.tho i still think Ajax would act cautious not to anger the sib, since how dare he touch u too much when they re around?the audacity..noone wants sweet relationship they were building so hard to blow up again.

aand~ im happy u enjoy my feedback!u certainly deserve it, i adore reading your works even when i dont make a request.but honestly i get so exited when i see you post my requests.i hope ill find more ideas to send them to you again.

(btw if you dont mind im curious, how did you call your Wanderer in the game?do u prefer Kabukimono, Scara or Wanderer?aaand do you feel like ever writing for Kabukimono, Wanderers old innocent self, in platonic way ofc?)

- 🦊 anon.

OMG 🦊 ANON THIS IS SO LONG HAHA (not negative, i don’t mind it i think it’s funny)

you’re the sweetest istg 😭🫶🫶 i’ll be honest i wrote the older sibling thing when i was half delirious so i don’t even remember what it was about, BUT IM GLAD IT WAS ENJOYABLE EVEN THO I WAS SO HAZY WHILE WRITING (i didn’t even remember writing childe until you mentioned him)

to answer your questions, i did not get wanderer in game bcus the devil overtook me and i pulled for childe, didn’t have enough wishes for my babygirl.

overall i prefer wanderer i think, especially for writing purposes. i reallyyyy like character development as well, so wanderer is top for me. however, i still call him scara regardless because that’s just his name in my head yk??

i also know little to nothing about kabukimono because i don’t pay attention to lore, i’m so sorry i have terrible memory (i also never do quests if i’m being honest) so i wouldn’t know HOW to write about him, so probably not just bcus it wouldn’t be accurate 🤷‍♀️ (im not up to date on scara stuff AT ALL. literally everything i write about wanderer is purely knowledge from other fics i’ve read)

[espritdediamant]

TREY FORGOES THE USUAL SONG AND DANCE: a note left with a surprise treat, a quick stop before classes, all his usual MO for delivering a gift. He hates being the center of attention on a normal day, never mind the pomp and circumstance and—enthusiastic extra efforts Heartslabyul goes for.

For Cater, though, he can make an exception.

Not that Trey has ever ambushed anyone, or plans to make a habit of it, but he’s already haunting the kitchen for the greater part of the weekend, if nothing else is necessary to see to. Cater’s a late sleeper when left to his own devices, and he adapts, no need to barge in first thing but laying in wait.

“Well, well. Good morning! You’re a sight for sore eyes.” (Just because he sees no need to rouse him doesn’t mean he can’t comment. It's well past one in the afternoon.) “I almost offered to give your lunch away to the freshmen.”

Sitting on the counter, a repurposed glass pastry cover keeps lunch from cooling too much. Trey can’t say he’s a plating expert by any means, but he does his best, a mock-up of a dish from a restaurant they end up haunting on a rare night into town. Sweet and spicy pork over rice, with the most eye-catching feature being the decorations on top. Tri-colored letters that would typically be reserved for the topping of cakes spells his name, staked into the pork somewhat cheekily.

Next to it, a rather small wrapped gift. Nothing thrilling, but practical, and—well, expected. The electric toothbrush is molded with the frankly terrifying card suit mascots of Cater’s favorite skate brand. It might be a knockoff. Trey doesn’t particularly care, and for the laugh alone, he’s sure Cater won’t mind, either.

“Happy Birthday, Cater—ha, well, whatever’s left of it.”

YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO MAKE THE most of each and every birthday—and it’s easy to, living on a flashy campus with even flashier traditions. Cater loved birthdays even before entering the fray of NRU’s social scene. Now? They’re unparalleled.

So, like, he means to make the most of it. It’s an accident that he ends up scrolling through his video feed until noon.

—An honest accident! He really had great intentions of making it an early morning, and really soaking up all of the goods that come with being the day’s centrepiece. But, alas, the gods that rule benevolently (mostly) over his algorithms were good today, and yeah, NGL, maybe it was just a touch too difficult to pry himself out of bed even without blaming the algo-gods.

Point is, at least, he does get up eventually, and the hour makes the first-stop an obvious one. Destination, kitchen. Not quite a detour, but Cater does have grander ambitions than lingering in the dorm all day, and he’s already eaten up lots of it, and—

❝ Oh, sup, Trey ♪ ❞

(The greeting’s a bit blearily made with a yawn. Like, Cater’s awake and up-and-at-’em like the best of ‘em, but, you know, just now adjusting to the people in front of him, not on a screen thing that happens once you get up.)

More importantly, what follows! Cater looks to the counter that Trey’s so casually lingering around—which is super normal for him, YK, so nothing new there—but in lieu of baked goods… ❝ Oh. Em. Gee. ❞

Yeah, that looks soooo good. Cater’s phone is back in his hand so quick he thinks that he summons it, actually, rather than reaches for it. ❝ Trey, CUTEEE! ♡ You seriously stepped up the plating game— ❞ The little letters. LOL. ❝ Ugh, okay, this is so fun. Totally could start a new trend for birthday meals, this lowkey looks better than any cake—no offense, you know your cakes are gorge, but… ❞

Much, much better. To say nothing of the toothbrush sitting just beside. He’s literally never seen this before, and he has HAUNTED those new collection drops like no one else. It has to be some sort of weird, niche side hustle knock off. Who wants toothbrush merch, anyway? Seriously a strange move to collab with, like, Colgate, and one he’s super sure doesn’t even exist.

It's so weird. He’s gonna find a way to fit this into the grid too. Cater loves it.

❝ Literally outsold, as always, ❞ he insists, a cheesed smile tossed across to Trey. ❝ Thank youuu. I need to get a good pic for the B-Day photodump and I’m starving AND I'm actually right on time for lunch, TYSM, so don’t threaten to give it away— ❞

(It’s a good foot to start this solar return, even if he’s only stepping out into it halfway through the day. For all intents and purposes?

His timing's pretty good.)

[taegularities]

Hey lovely author :) hope you are doing good ..i actually wanted to share some fics of your that i really love and which are somehow close to my heart ☺️ your writing is so good that one cant help but fall in love with the each character that you create.. especially changes in b/w,bewitching ,begin and ofcourse my favorite cmi couple 💗 .. i was going to read some other fics of yours but yeah life is not fair to me as always ..it has been hectic these past months and i have been high on caffiene ..my sleep routine is unhealthy i have to turn in my assigments soon but i am stuck here in hospital ,taking care of my granny cuz i dont live with my parents and i have spent my entire childhood with granny and pa so i am really attached to her and i am scared of losing her cuz i dont know what i would do ..praying for her to get better soon ..sorry i — went too overboard haha ..it is just i miss my mom and i really dont have any friends so there is noone with whom i can share this ..i usually prefer being away from people and at times like this i really wish there was someone who can give me a shoulder to cry on ..and today my cellphone broke while i was running like a maniac to the medical store cuz i needed medicines urgently so i didnot even realise how it fell off ..i really dont share my problems yk cuz i know that people out there are struggling with a hell lot of major problems and mine are not even close to that so it just doesnot feel fair to rant ny own but today was my last straw and i cant help but breakdown ..i have been going strong for my family cuz if i lose my strength who's gonna take care of them ...Thankyou i feel better now that i shared it with someone 😊 you really are one of the most humble and thoughtful writer ..please be healthy and i hope your family is doing great as well ..i know better days are coming and i cant wait for my granny to comeback cuz it is her birthday (18feb) and i want her to spend this with her whole family happily😚 ..not really imp though but she is turning 60 soon 😭 i miss you so much grangran 💔

hi sweetheart !! awwwh your picks have me smiling.. i enjoyed writing all of those a lot, especially begin and cmi, so it's good to know that you liked them. and don't worry about reading my other stuff !! i know life's a bitch sometimes, so your priority should definitely be you !!

as for the things happening in your life right now, i'm so sorry you're this stressed. i hope things get a little less hectic soon, and that you get to do things you genuinely enjoy; don't forget to take breaks. and please remember that pain is subjective !! if you've read all of cmi, i do mention there a lot, too, that your pain is your pain and you can't compare it to anyone else's sorrow. your feelings are valid <3

i understand loneliness... it's absolutely okay that you choose to vent here! i know i can't say or do much here, but i truly hope things get better, as well as your grandma. happy birthday to her btw 🥺 i hope my fics help you find a bit of peace at times; i'm thinking of you and sending hugs

[essiekuko]

i loveeee those 2000s photos where the filter is so warm

i fear i may be rb too many 4n4 jokes on my main cause my followers might not be 4n4 and are just there for coquette, not expecting to see anything 4n4 related on main. and even tho i might not get termed for just rbs, i feel like it could happen, so i try not to rb too many 4n4 jokes in one day

i ♡ ruslana sm

some ppl are just easily born with the model features. tall, sl1m and pretty <33 its like there's no other perfect job for them

HOLD ON HOLD ONNNNN...soundcloud replay is a thing?!!

i solely use apple music and soundcloud for music, i use apple podcasts for unreleased ldr too. im so excited to see my overall apple music & souncloud replays at the end of this year <33

my secret tumblr acc is not even a secret anymore. its more like my twt is my secret social media lmfao tumblr is tame compared to twt

also how do i ALREADY have followers on twt when i swear i made it once and then didnt even interact or anything after that

HOW TF IS THE ONLY COUNTRY TWT IS CHARGING THE NEW USER ANNUAL FEE TO THE COUNTRY I LIVE IN????!?!?!?AAAAAA

when u 3at, u lose ur her01n ch1c beauty, and a face that nobody could tell what to do

i did 3at today, after a 43hr f4st, and for once i dont feel bad. its like my st0m4ch was crying for this food, and i just know its all going to burn off. usually by 5pm i lose my senses and 3at, like when i walked past the slow cooker and mindlessly picked up a chicken piece. and then i had the urge to c/s, but i didnt i just 4te it. and i 4te my cravings that i'd been having, like all those fries on the bench, and the toast that i burnt for my sister and knew noone else was gonna eat, and the pringles my brother brought home that i initially ignored, and the porridge my sister didn't want anymore. and i don't feel anything. and now im going to 3at din for like the 1st time in a week, and restart my fast without caring. b1ng1ng after a 43h f4st is way better than b1ng1ng in a row. my wl cals (yk, if i actually did 3at everyday) is 1000cal a day, but i barely eat up to that a day like wtf that’s insane. and that’s when i’m not f4st1ng, now look i’m fasting, and i pretty much can expect steady wl with it. i had 1860 cal right after a 43h f4st, and yk at least its lower than my maintenance c4l0r13s so im defs not going to gain after it. especially not after that high score i just set for myself, so next time i 3at it's gotta be after 43hrs, where i might as well reach 2 days. and we'll see, i jst gotta avoid the kitchen at din time (5-6pm) so i dont just mindlessly pick food up. obv my longest f4st was 74h, and i might just beat it with this next f4st

how could someone lose only 1kg a week. i remember when i once did a 3 day f4st i lost 2kg in those 3 days. imagine if i went for like a week/7 days. i'd lose 4kg in a week. and 2 weeks? boom, 10kg down on the clock. literally how is 70kg a good w8 for 5'6. like how is that even bmi 25. i get how, but it doesn't feel right to be over 100lb/45kg. even if being 5'6 and 154lb is normal, its just not normal to me, and i want to be my kind of normal. like wdym when i was 70kg i was normal. helllll noooo b1tch i still felt fvcking f4t. and i wanna go especially lower yk. like, my first gw is 70 (to come off 73 after i g41n3d back up huhu), and then to 65, and then to 50. and from 50, we'd go lowerrrr and reach that fabled 45 :)

i miss mid 2010's/por vida era kali uchis smmm 😢 i could tell she had a major influence from 50's-70's, and she said so herself, and it connects her to lana del ray sm more especially since she opened for her during her honeymoon tour <3 i'll drop my fav pics of her soon

i want those strappy, ribbony heels so bad, like silvermist's shoes. i used to have this huge tinkerbell poster over my bed when i was younger, and silvermist's outfit looked the best to me, especially her shoes, and they were so fun to draw. im definitely recreating this outfit when i find some ribbon heels

i love soft summer sm <33 layla from buffalo 66 made light blue my favorite color

my fav color used to be mauve, after colorpop's mauve palette

thissss <//3 thankfully this is my last skl year, hopefully it'd be less awkward in uni. my quietest class

omg wait guys hold on. laufey just came on and now i have to drop to my knees and bash the floor

laufey's vocals are so crunchy and crispy and ouugghhhh

okay anyway, so yea, my quietest class this year (and possibly in my entire life) was biology. it didn't make things any better that my assigned seat was in the 2nd row to the front. every time my st0m4ch gr0wls in a quiet room i fear that ppl will know that im st4rv1ng and obv to the normal mind thats bad, but to me i love it yk, and im probably the best i could be when u hear my st0m4ch gr0wl lmfao, way happier than if i 4te

BAHAHAH THIS. i shouldnt be laughing, bc theres ppl out there who genuinely feel this. if u want it so bad, just become ur own rockstar bf. courtney love says not to mangle urself trying to get the school football captain - become the school football captain. become ur own rockstar bf, its tht simple love

saying this after my heavy liking kurt cobain phase lmfao. now i like courtney love and my whole life changed

LMFAOO i used to have this friend in y9 who lied abt her life all the damn time it was so obv. but lowk so entertaining hihi just knowing how many fake stories she was pouring out and playing along and OMFG asking questions to further expand the story and she answers so confidently with her whole chest. sm fun

[cherry-casino]

todays been wack already but holy fucking shit vent ig

im actually shaking as i write this so ignore any misspellings/punctuation (i wont be proofreading or fixing shit)

the day started off fine, i sat in bed on my phone n shit, and then my cousins walked in and one of them screamed DIRECTLY INTO MY FUCKING EAR which hurt and pissed me off but oh well. Then i got bored and decided to draw, so i was drawing yk and my uncle walks in, and i assume hes gonna talk to me, so i shut my sketchbook and then he started asking what i was drawing and telling me to show him? And then another cousin threw a toy at me and when i threw it back my mom saw it and got pissed at ME. Alright, thats fine, i can handle it. Around lunch/noon i played basketball with another one of my cousins who then proceeded to bully me for the sun knows what and bodyshame me. Okay, now im getting a bit more ticked off, but at this point im still (barely) hanging in there. Nighttime rolls around and we had my cake sang happy birthday yadayadayada (we celebrated early this year since my cousins were here) and i got my drawing tablet, which is all cool. I got on my computer to hook it up and i was in vc with one of my friends cause they were helping me (you know who you are, you did great dw) and then my mom walked in on me checking my notifications and said i "wasnt doing what i was supposed to" and that "i wasnt supposed to be playing games when i had more important stuff to do"" and then accused me of not even trying to connect my tablet when i told her i was working on it (i WAS trying, it wouldnt work.) and then my dad walked in and started messing with stuff and was going through my files which was freaking me out because "hey, the fucking file you need that ive pointed at 15 fucking times is OVER THERE WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU LOOKING AT MY SCREENSHOTS" and the strawberry cheesecake ice cream cake was NOT sitting well with my anxiety so i LOCKED MYSELF in my parents bathroom and had a full blown meltdown in the mirror, which helped none but oh fucking well. And so here i am, laying in my sisters bed since my aunt and uncle took my room, desperately holding onto my bodypillow and shaking and rocking myself back and forth trying not to cry infront of all these fuckin people as im typing this. Yeah, great fuckin day. The best.