#well it may have more chapters
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rox-of-iu · 1 year ago
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ayoo guess who finally sat down and caught up with cultivate B)
is me. so you know what that means.
spoiler warning for cultivate ch 30-37
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there was actually.... more things i wanted to draw but I already did so many I had to physically restrain myself hfsjkkdh anyway yes can you tell i love this fic very much
yet once again. cultivate by the wonderful @neonghostcat
#liushen#cultivate#cultivate: slow life on a monster infested mountain#mu qingfang#tagging him as well since theres lot of focus on him lol#and shen jiu as well u have to excuse me I love them they're meow meows#there was gonna be more sj content also but he ended up being cut in the end#wait- hdfdfhkj probably shouldnt talk about cutting something and SJ in the same sentence lmao jhfksdhfk ok bad joke sorry#anyway aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa absolutely deceased with all that has been revealed and covered in the past few chapter#actually dead wonderful powerful talented incredible showstopping never seen before#my most favourite part of cultive is its mysteries without a shadow of a doubt they're so intriguing and the reveal is ALWAYS sooo satisfyi#so the chain reaction of so many answers of the big ones tm? chefs kiss MWA#speaking of mysteries i never mentioned it before because I didn't know how to incorporate it without it being awkward but#for the longest time one particular piece of info has been rotting in my brain#and it was the off-hand comment on of the aqueduct by LQG#it is SO SILLY but THATS the one that has been just spinning in my brain FROM THEN ON ALL THE TIME it is indeed not the actually much coole#checkovs guns that have been setup nooo it was THIS hjkjsdfhksd I HAD TO KNOW where that was going AND NOW I KNOW I CAN REST EASY jsdhfkd#so yeah absolutely wonderful chapters indeed beautiful powerful#also some of you may noticed that time and time again I keep switching up the seniority between bai zhan and qian cao#and i have to formally apologize for that it is in fact not out of lack of attention to the text I'm just shdjkas#if im not mistaken qian caos position is not set in stone in canon so its free for grabs to put it in any of the free spots on the list#so i should respect neonghostcats (beloved i am so sorry) list in this case but i physically couldn't bring myself to write mqf as shidi#HSAJHS im sorry i am so biased and from doctors family i cannot put him in my head in peak seniority so low I'm sry i am legally not allowe#so lets just pretend i wrote it correctly ok sadhkas eyes closed xD#OOF th etags got long this time but im just SOOOO EXCITED WITH THIS FIC AND GOT FEELINGS OK BYE#anyway neonghostcat godspeed recovery buddy!!#also i hope using neonghostcat isnt like....calling u by your full name hdkfh but no idea to which parts i should shorten it either so hah
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spookyxsprinkles · 12 days ago
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if there’s no one beside you when your soul embarks, then i’ll follow you into the dark [chapter 1/?]
hayakawa aki × shy fiend f!reader
-> safe for work (for now) // 4.9k words // AO3. -> warnings: smoking, blood, cheesy, friendship, romance, discrimination, fluff, angst, pining that may or may not be mutual, soft aki, protective aki, eventual smut, eventual romance, canon divergent, fic will get into darker topics as the story progresses but i'll update the warnings as i go, chainsaw man part 1 spoilers.
Devil hunters use devils to kill devils.
The irony was never lost on you. This was a use or get used world, after all.
In the distance, your ears picked up the sounds of a fight. Explosions, rubble falling, metal crunching. It sounded far enough away for you not to worry about closing the convenience store early (not that your boss would’ve let you), but it was still close enough for you to stay alert as you stood on a flipped milk crate, stocking the fridge. The situation seemed to have settled by the time you finished and you allowed yourself to relax.
You were behind the counter reading a romance novel when the smell of dust and blood assaulted your nose, making you look up at the source. The sliding doors let out a melodic chime as a tall man with a top knot dressed in a black suit entered the store, walking straight for the freezers in the back. Your eyes stayed glued to the sword strapped to his back until he was no longer visible from where you stood.
You took a sip from your water bottle before returning your attention back to the book in front of you. Two pages later, you realize you weren’t actually processing the words on the page and, with a sigh, you flip back to try again. You struggled reading the same paragraph over and over until the sound of aluminum cans clanking against the counter top startled you. The man with a top knot (with a sword strapped to his back) had placed canned coffees and an apple in front of you.
“Cigarettes, too.”
Before he could finish pulling out his wallet, you set a white box down on the counter between the two of you. He stared down at the box of Mevius One KS cigarettes with a furrow in his brow and his eyes moved to meet your own.
“I-I have a good nose.” You anxiously look away from him and quickly scan his items, placing them neatly in a plastic bag. “That’ll be ¥4,570.74.”
The man eyed you for a moment, as if studying you, then pulled out his card to insert it into the machine until he noticed a sign with messy handwriting stating that the card machine was out of order. He returned his card back into it’s place in his wallet before pulling out cash and placing it into your outreached hand, his cold fingers brushing against yours as he did so.
“You’re good,” he says quietly.
You suck in a breath at his comment and nod, feeling unsure of how else to respond so you simply thank him for shopping at the convenience store and to have a nice day. You watch his dark form disappear down the street before letting out a sigh of relief as you adjusted the crochet beanie on your head.
+
Two or three times a week, he would come in to buy canned coffee and cigarettes. The two of you never spoke much beyond pleasantries. (“hello,” “good afternoon,” “have a nice day,” “you too.”)
Currently, he was in the back of the store by the freezers. You tried to keep your attention on your book as you absent-mindedly fidgeted with the sleeve of your over-sized cardigan.
It had been a few short months since you started working here, since you first noticed him. The convenience store wasn’t the closest one to the Public Safety office in Tokyo, but it was still frequented daily by people who worked there, including other devil hunters.
Every now and then you’d stop seeing a face come by the shop and determined that they must have been killed on the job. It wasn’t a secret that devil hunters didn’t have very long lifespans, it was the nature of the job. However, you recently found yourself feeling relieved whenever he stepped over the threshold of the sliding glass doors and greeted you in return.
You weren’t entirely sure why you felt that way. He was obviously attractive, though you doubted that was reason for your feelings.
Still, relieved as you may be, you found it difficult to focus whenever the two of you shared the same four walls.
To you, devils had an acrid smell. The stronger the devil, the more offensive the smell was. You were sure the devil hunter was human, but the scents that lingered on him were the strongest you had smelled in quite a while. The smell was stronger on him than it was on most of the devil hunters you encountered.
He must have worked closely with strong devils and the thought of that frightened you. You once heard a group of devil hunters mention a special division in Public Safety that made devils work for them without free will.
You cautiously cast glance his way as he flipped through a magazine, and you wondered if this devil hunter (your devil hunter) was involved with something as awful as that.
+
By now, he must have noticed the way you always avoided eye contact with him. You're sure of it.
You try to read but you simply could not focus and you found yourself looking in his direction every few minutes. He walked around the shop, aimlessly browsing, rather than going straight for what he came for like he usually did. You’re tempted by the opportunity to strike up a conversation with him, to get to know him a little (for better or worse), but you bite your tongue.
You wouldn’t know what to say. The majority of your social skills were learnt through reading books.
You notice that sometimes, when the store gets empty, he stares at you for a few moments, as if he wants to say something, before thinking better of it and exiting the store, leaving you to watch him from behind.
+
You felt your hands shaking more than they usually did whenever he was around. You hoped he didn't notice, though when you looked up at him, you could see him watching you. Your eyes briefly look over at the sword on his back before returning your attention back to the monitor and reading him his total.
You took his money and shakily hand him the receipt, which he takes. You quickly look away and feel his lingering gaze, followed by the small intake of breath. You get the impression that he's about to say something.
You do your best to look busy organizing your space behind the counter. Your hands were trembling, causing you to knock over a candy display. Rolls of mints clattered around your boots and you bend over to pick them up.
You hear the chiming of the sliding doors as they opened and closed and you peeked over the counter to see that he was gone.
+
A few days later, you’re stocking the freezer with drinks. Despite wearing your cardigan and beanie, you shivered as you struggled to reach the top shelves. You forgot to grab the milk crate from behind the counter to help you reach higher, but with the devil hunter in the store earlier than usual, you decided to quickly wrap up stocking so that you could get back to the counter.
Large, pale hands grasp the can from your hand, making you flinch in surprise. You look over your shoulder and see the devil hunter helping you place the remaining drinks on the top shelf. You swallow hard and avert your eyes from him.
“Thank you...” He nodded then went on his way to continued his shopping. You walk back to the register to wait for him. You felt his gaze on you but you didn’t dare look up away from the register you were pretending to clean. Your head hurt from overthinking.
You checked out his items when he brought them over to you, faster than you usually did. You were eager for him to leave so that you could focus on anything other than him right now.
"A box of Mevius One KS, please."
You were too distracted with your own thoughts that you forgot to give him his cigarettes. You apologize and turn in a hurry to reach for them on the shelf, stepping onto the milk crate, but in your haste you lost your balance. You yelped as you fell onto the cold tile, boxes of cigarettes raining down on your head.
The next thing you knew, he’s behind the counter kneeling beside you, scanning you for any injuries before returning his gaze to yours.
“Are you okay?”
You couldn’t help but notice the concern in his voice. It was a stark contrast to the stoicism he usually exuded whenever he was in the store.
You nod, feeling your cheeks heat up with embarrassment as you looked up at him. You look away again, sitting up despite your butt aching from the fall. You ran a nervous hand through your hair and realized your beanie had fallen off and the devil hunter was staring—right at the pair of fluffy ears on your head.
“You’re…” he pauses, looking at you in a way that was hard to read.
You panicked. You grabbed your beanie from the floor, clumsily hopped over the counter, knocking over the candy display in the process as you ran out of the store.
“Wait! Come back!”
He continued to call out after you, his voice growing more and more distant until you could no longer make out the individual words. Your feet feel like they’re going to give out from underneath you as you sprint along the sidewalk hoping to never see him away.
+
The following day was your day off, but your boss called you in. He fired you for leaving the store unattended and withheld your final paycheck. When you timidly tried to stand up for yourself, telling him that he couldn’t do that, he said he could because you had no human rights as a fiend.
There was nothing you could do about it.
You managed to find another job in a grocery store on the other side of town. It was farther away from your home, but safer since it lessened the risk of running into the same devil hunter again.
A few weeks later, you were working the register when you recognized his scent. Your eyes widened in horror when you realized he had found you. The two of you stared at each other.
His expression was stern and focused. There’s no trace of the gentleness he’d shown last time. A depressing reminder that this man wasn’t just a man and you weren’t just a woman.
He was here to kill you, or worse.
You were frozen in place. It’s only when he begins to approach you that you remember to breathe. You trembled fearfully as he stood in front of you.
“Hey—”
“P-Please don’t hurt me,” you sputtered out from behind the register.
His expression softens, but his eyes are steady, resolute. You can tell by the look in his eyes that he’s trying to convey some sort of message to you.
“I’m not going to kill you, don’t worry,” he replies calmly. “I’m not here to harm you in any way.”
"But you're a devil hunter... are you here to capture me and force me to work for Public Safety?"
"No."
You don’t believe him and flinch away when he pulls something from his inner suit pocket.
An envelope.
"I realized you were probably scared of being hunted, so I didn’t chase you. I went looking for you back at the convenience store the next day. Your boss said you were fired. I found out he illegally withheld your final paycheck, so I've been searching for you to return it."
Your brows furrow as he places the envelope on the counter. You weren't sure if you could trust him or not. His eyes never left your face as you looked down at the envelope then back up at him. You're not sure what to say or do, but his quiet, patient composure is a stark contrast to his intimidating presence earlier.
He gestures towards the envelope. “You can open it. I’m not trying to force you to join Public Safety. I’m simply making sure you get what’s rightfully yours. You can’t exactly sue him.”
The fact that he seemed so confident that this was going to change everything, that you're going to trust him, sends your brain into overdrive. You don't know what to do.
“Open it," he says quietly. Gently.
You hesitantly reach for the envelope and open it, finding the money your former boss denied you of. You expect him to demand something from you in return, but he quietly walked out of the store.
+
A couple of weeks later, you pick up his scent again as you’re stacking a table with cans on sale. You noticed he was accompanied by two others with inhuman scents. Both strong and familiar smells that you’ve smelled on him in the past. Devils. In the grocery store? Their casual-wear made it seem like they weren’t on official business and based on the way they were acting, the three of them seemed close.
You were nearly finished with stacking the can display, when the devils accidentally ran their cart into the table, knocking over the cans. The devil hunter turned at the sound and came over.
You’re on your knees, picking up cans and placing them back on the table to get them off the floor. The devils snickered, until the devil hunter scolded them.
"Can you two knock it off and help pick those up?"
For some reason that makes you feel embarrassed and you tell him that it’s okay. “It was an accident. Don’t worry, it’s my job to do this...”
His gaze meets yours.
“Hey," he says quietly as he approaches the knocked over cans. After taking a quick glance at you, he begins to clean up the mess while the devils continued to bicker and argue as they stacked, making a competition out of it. The way they carried themselves, like bickering siblings. Not that you would know personally, but it reminded you of siblings in the stories you’ve read. You were wondering how old they were when you realized just how tall the devil hunter actually is; he seems to dwarf the other two.
"Are you alright?" He asked, looking at the fallen cans lying on the floor. You could feel his eyes on you, looking over you as though checking to see any sign of injuries. You sneak a peek at him, noticing his eyes glancing at the beanie on your head. The beanie that covered your devil ears.
You nod, your timid and nervous nature getting in the way of the moment. He scolds the others and eventually gives them the task of doing the rest of the shopping and offering them a snack reward. They run off excitedly with the cart as he helped you stack the cans. The two of you worked quietly.
He continued helping you for a bit longer, his presence soothing rather than intimidating like before. Then, once you finish stacking the cans on the shelf, he steps back for a moment as though hesitating.
You glance at him nervously, nodding as you chewed on your bottom lip. You wondered if it’d be rude to walk away right now. Probably.
"Are you busy after work?"
Your eyes widen, and you can feel your heart beginning to beat faster. You can hear the others laughing in the distance, clearly not paying attention to the conversation taking place.
"Yes," you lied.
He made a face, as if he could easily tell that you had just lied from your tone and nervous body language, but nodded anyways. He offered to buy you something to eat as an apology for the cans and for being the reason you lost your previous job at the convenience store.
"Will I... owe you?"
"No."
You weren’t sure whether or not you should trust him. So far, he seemed to have your best interests in mind, though you knew that could also be a trick. You decided to take a leap of faith.
"Apples. I like apples."
His expression remained stoic and you felt vulnerable under his watchful gaze. People who knew you were not human treated you differently, saw you differently. To them, you felt invisible and disposable. Like something to be used and tossed away when it became too much trouble. The way this devil hunter looked at you now was different than how he used to look at you when he thought you were a human like him, but it also didn’t feel like he thought of you as something less than him. The way he was looking at you right now made you feel like your heart was in your throat. You try to swallow it back down.
“Apples?” He gives a small nod. "Then I'll buy you some.”
+
He buys you a bag of apples.
It becomes routine.
Whenever he stops by the grocery store, he would leave you with a bag of apples.
It was the kindest thing a human had ever done for you.
You craved speaking with him, not really getting much positive attention from others. You felt lonely and wondered if he could tell. You didn't trust humans but you wanted to trust him. You really wanted to trust him.
So, you tried talking to him a little bit. It was awkward and you were as clumsy with your words as you were with your body but in a few months, the two of you were able to have casual small talk. You were so happy to be able to joke with him, even just a little bit.
Your relationship with him grew over time with these simple interactions, these little moments of kindness that he showed you.
This is a stark contrast to the way devil hunters and civilians had treated you in the past. Their disdain for devils would get in the way of your interactions, but you didn’t have that problem with your devil hunter. Seeing him with his devil friends gave you hope.
You looked forward to his visits. His presence is a quiet one. He doesn't expect anything from you, nor does he ask much about you yet here you are, talking almost like... friends.
"Th-Thank you, Mr. Hayakawa." You speak his name for the first time, a bit timidly. You learned it a couple of months ago when he asked to be signed up for the grocery store’s rewards program, but you never said it out loud until now. He had just bought you apples again and you wanted to thank him.
His expression was as gentle as his voice. "Just Aki is fine."
The way he holds himself seems to have loosened up considerably. His shoulders, once stiff and tense, now hang loosely by his sides. He no longer seems quite as intimidating. And you're not sure how exactly, but it almost seems as if his presence becomes... softer.
You nod, feeling your face heat up. "Sorry, th-thank you, Mr. A-Aki..!"
You can't tell if there's a small hint of amusement in his eyes, but then again, he's hard to read.
"Why 'Mr. Aki'?" He asks you curiously.
"Did I say something wrong? Would you prefer a different title?" You nervously fiddle with your fingers.
His eyebrows knit together slightly, as though thinking. “It’s not really needed, I guess. You don't need to call me by any title or honorific. Aki's enough..." He trails off.
"O-Okay... A-Aki..."
You felt your face heat even more from being allowed to refer to him so informally. You have never spoken someone's name so casually before. You distract yourself by stiffly scanning the rest of his items.
He eyes the bag of apples sitting at the end of the register’s moving belt. "Did you want anything else?" He asks, his eyes looking back to you. Your eyes widen and you shake your head furiously, knocking your beanie off balance, slightly revealing the bottom of one of your fluffy ears. Aki eyes it, wondering if you’d notice it in time to fix it before anyone else saw it.
"No, no I'm okay! Really! The apples are good. I love apples. I-I... Thank you, Aki."
"Are you sure?" He asks and from the way his eyes were staring at your cheeks you knew he was aware you were feeling very flustered right now.
Aki’s eyes return to your visible ear. You were beginning to feel self-conscious when he leaned over the counter of the register and adjusted your beanie. “Your ear was showing. Sorry.”
You flinched at the sudden contact and as he pulled away, you grabbed his wrists without thinking. You hold onto him for a moment.
The air around you seems to heat up slightly, the intensity of your gaze rather palpable. You feel a shiver run down your spine at the closeness of the situation and notice his eyebrow raising in confusion. He seemed a little surprised by how close you are to him, but he doesn't back away. The sound of someone sneezing snapped you out of your daze and you released him.
You back away from the register, avoiding his eyes and mumbling a series of apologies before making up some excuse about needing to unclog a toilet.
(Aki watched you run off towards the back. He could still feel the warmth of your hands around his wrists as he left the store).
+
The next few times Aki went to the store, you weren’t around. He asks the manager about you and she said that you took a few weeks off.
Aki wondered why and if it had anything to do with what happened.
+
As the days passed, his curiosity over why you weren’t around grew. He doesn’t know if your last encounter with him had anything to do with that, but he hoped that it didn’t.
Your absence brought about a certain sense of loneliness, and though he’s never admitted it to himself, he starts to miss you and the moments that you’d shared with one another.
+
You return a month later, avoiding Aki's eyes as you scanned his items. You were quiet today.
As you return to your old routine, you feel Aki’s eyes trailing you. He keeps to himself and gives you space, but he’s still observant as you worked. Something had changed in your demeanor. You're being polite but distant, keeping your distance from him and not speaking unless absolutely necessary. You’re not like yourself at all. He doesn’t know why and it makes his curiosity grow even more.
"Is something wrong?" He leans forward a bit, wondering if he'd done something wrong.
"No..." You say quietly as you handed him his change, careful not to touch him.
The way that you speak makes him certain that there is something wrong; he's known you long enough to tell. Your avoidance is what catches his attention however.
You bag his items and another customer sets their items down on the belt for you to scan. There are plenty of people lining up behind Aki, so you turn your attention to the next customer as you bag his items.
“Is this about me?” He asks, once the customers have cleared the line-up. He’d been watching you interact with the other customers and noticed that you weren't behaving this way with them. Only with him.
"Yes," you say hesitantly, "But you didn't do anything wrong. It's me that's the problem..." Your face burns red. "Please don't worry about it."
"Well, now you've got me worried," he replies, his usual stoic expression giving way to genuine concern. "You've been acting a bit strange. Like something happened."
"It-It doesn't feel appropriate to say, so I'd really rather we didn't get into it." You say as you fiddled with your fingers. "It's nothing worth worrying about. Nothing bad happened and I don't think ill of you, Mr- I mean, Aki."
If he wasn’t so worried, he would've quietly laughed at your little slip up. Aki watches you as you fiddle with your fingers, a bit more concerned now. He doesn’t like not being able to figure out what’s been on your mind this entire time.
You’re keeping things vague, and it’s driving him crazy.
"So, this has nothing to do with our last interaction?" he asks you, genuinely curious.
Your face reddens even more, "It... it may have something to do with that..." You look at the clock on the wall before timidly looking at Aki. "If it's okay with you, can we talk about it after my shift ends in 20 minutes..?"
He nods, still trying not to let any emotion appear on his face.
"That’s fine. I'll be waiting for you outside if that’s okay.”
+
Fifty minutes later, you run outside, panting heavily.
"S-Sorry for taking so long. You didn't have to wait." Your hands squeezed at the strap of your cross body bag.
"I don't mind," he tells you. You notice the way his eyes scan your face, as if he's looking for something in particular. Like he's trying to figure something out. "Are you okay?"
"I'll be okay. Thank you, Aki." You chew on your bottom lip as you look at him. It all suddenly feels too real and you look down at the ground again. "I-I'm not being weird because you did something wrong. I've been acting strangely because I've recently realized my... my feelings. I'm sorry." You say quietly.
"Ah..." Aki replies softly, his attention glued to you as you nervously chew on your lip. "Can I ask you something?"
You nod. (In your head, you were mentally preparing for him to tell you to work at a different store so that he never has to see your devil face ever again.)
"You said that you've recently realized your feelings, but..." he pauses. "How long have you actually liked me?" There's a teasing smile playing on his lips.
Your ears perk up on your head, shifting your beanie slightly. "Not long! I swear, I promise it's only recent. It wasn't until I went home after the last time I saw you, when you were fixing my hat, that I realized there might be some feelings from my end. I promise I had no ulterior motives during the last ten months."
"Just how recent are we talking?"
"...Actually, maybe I did have an ulterior motive. No, not maybe. I did have one."
Your ears moved under the beanie, knocking it off of your head. Your ears lay flat against your head, like if you did something wrong.
“Really?” Aki raises an eyebrow, "What was your ulterior motive?"
"I…” You spoke quietly while staring down at his shoes. “I wanted to be your friend."
There’s a long moment of silence.
“...That’s an ulterior motive?” he asks, a hint of amusement returning to his voice. “I wasn’t expecting that.”
"Of course it is..! It was something I wanted that you didn't know I wanted. That's the definition, right?" Your face is red and your ears twitch but remain flat. "You were always so kind to me and whenever I saw you and Power and Denji behaving so familiar with each other I-I wanted that too." Your voice cracked and your eyes welled with tears.
Aki’s kindness meant the world to you and you wanted to be a part of his world, too.
He picked your beanie up off of the ground and dusted it off before placing it back on your head, carefully covering your ears for you.
“It is technically an ulterior motive,” Aki admits. He looks away from your eyes, to the ground between the two of you. “Is that really the main reason you kept talking to me?”
You nodded while trying to make yourself look at his face,
"I like you, in both senses of the word, but the platonic meaning is what I value the most. You've treated me with kindness and patience, even when I pretended to act like I was bad at my job just so I could have a few extra seconds of time with you."
Aki's expression softens.
“Do you want to come over my place for dinner?”
“Huh!?” Your eyes nearly pop out of your head at his sudden question, “Where did that come from?”
“Denji and Power will be there, too...” He trailed off.
“No, it’s okay. Thank you for the offer, though. I appreciate it but I don’t want to impose.”
“You won’t be imposing.”
He walks you to his car and when he unlocks it, you open the door to the backseat. He says you could sit up front if you wanted to. So you do. He helps secure your seat belt since you weren’t doing it quite right.
“Sorry. I’ve never used a seat belt before.”
“Never?” He asks as he maneuvers the car around the parking lot.
“Never.”
He stops, waiting for a chance to safely enter the street and takes that moment to glance at you from the corner of his eye. “You can open the window, if you want.”
Your ears perk up, pushing the beanie off of your head and onto your lap. Aki tells you which button to press and soon enough, your window was all the way down.
“Thank you, Aki.”
He nods, making a noise of acknowledgment as he turned the car onto the street. You stuck your head out the window to feel the wind whipping at your grinning face. And as Aki drove the two of you to his home, he had a feeling that he wouldn’t mind getting used to this.
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fictionadventurer · 3 months ago
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Potential September Reading
The Hobbit by J.R.R. Tolkien (ideally in audio)
An English Squire by Christabel R. Coleridge
A Sherlock Holmes story (and/or a screen adaptation)
C.S. Lewis nonfiction
A sensation or mystery novel
A piece of one of the Psmith stories
Some kind of nonfiction book
#monthly reading lists#books#a nicely restrained list#mostly made up of my strong september associations#of course it's psmith pseptember so i must read at least a chapter or two#(i know too well that i don't have the discipline to expect more but i would like a taste)#sherlock holmes audiobooks made great commute reading during several septembers and now it's a vital part of the season#(i'll prob only read one or two short stories rather than try for a whole volume)#i've vaguely been feeling i'm due for a hobbit reread for a few months#but now it hit me strongly that i must read it in audio#(if i can't find a good audio version i'll have to skip that item)#i read 'surprised by joy' one september while my sister was in ireland and i was missing it#and now it feels right especially because there's an oxford academia vibe that's great for back-to-school#i want to read some kind of female-written mystery#but yet to decide if i want victorian sensation novel or agatha christie#or if i'll just try a vaguely gothic christian novel#an english squire gets on the list thanks to thatscarletflycatcher and it just feels right to have that be my next obscure classic#i wanted something for back-to-school but i didn't know if i wanted a non-psmith school story or what#so i just went with nonfiction because it's about me learning new things#also several things that didn't make the list but may be read#i was very close to putting the tenant of wildfell hall on the list#but i don't want the pressure#if i do read it it needs to be something i'm not required to do#i will probably try to finish chesterton's 'varied types'#and prob read more emma m lion#and maybe pride and prejudice on audio?
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poisonousquinzel · 10 months ago
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ngl real missed opportunity by DC to let Harley and Mr. Freeze become friends during her primary villain arc (btas or other) cause tbh I can't imagine he'd enjoy sitting in his cell listening to Joker brag about all the ways he's cruel, abusive and uncaring towards Harley, a woman who loves him, while Victor's entire goal is to save his wife who he loves dearly ya know ???? and it's not like all of them haven't been locked up together, the other rogues Know. Joker's not like most abusers who try to keep it behind closed doors, he's very public with his abuse.
And just that feeling of like "I am doing everything I can to save my wife, I have become a criminal and have done awful things in the name of love and I just want nothing more than to have her back and You Have Someone Who Loves You That Much, That Much To Become A Criminal As Well And You Repay That Love By ABUSING HER."
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fearandhatred · 10 months ago
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you knew it still hurts underneath my scars // from when they pulled me apart. - hoax, taylor swift
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piningpercussionist · 5 months ago
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transfem scott getting lots of support from ramona and kim in the early 2000's when shit's very taboo but they all 3 have a fire forged bond and lord if they aren't going to make sure they're all as happy as they can be because they've come this far and I dunno it just makes me happy all three of them
YES YES YES
It makes me very happy as well,,
Like I've said before. General Trans Scott enthusiast here- I love the idea of their little support network *violent coughing* I (we?) mean polycule *violent coughing* so fucking much.
Ramona I think has a bit of a more gentle hand with reassuring Scott with gender issues, but sometimes she just can't help herself from some pointed banter or teasing- how could you with someone so dense? (Said w affection)
And then Kim I think is more blunt. But like, in a good way mostly, you know? The kinda blunt that makes you snap to attention and go "Oh. Yeah that was silly of me." And if Ramona's started some sort of banter? Kim is SO piling on. Maybe sometimes she's a bit TOO blunt with it- but it's only because she's so firm in her support. She wants Scott to Get It Together- and be happier for it. So if some ribbing now and again is in order, then goddamnit she will do so! Anything to crack that shell.
And ohhh can you imagine how they would react to some transphobic bullshit?? Unholy terror would be driven into the offender before they walk off with an absurd amount of coins between them. I can feel it in my bones. Scott doesn't even have to lift a finger (if the transphobe is even noticed/processed at all, bc I honestly can see Scott just. Not realizing someone's being transphobic.) Kim giving someone a lashing with her tongue as distraction and then Ramona coming in with the hammer- BAM! Free Money! Paying literally with your life for your transphobia. A Better And Just World.
And of course (transfem Scott more specifically, here,) the way Scott would start to flourish under their support... cagey and maybe a little (perhaps a lot-) resistant to start- but Kim's blunt affirmations and no nonsense attitude for bullshit (which is what Scott insisting on "being cis" would be, c'mon now,) and Ramona's also low bullshit tolerance but less Stabby (bc I won't lie, that's probably how Kim's comments would feel,) assurances? Ough... My Heart... Be Still-
I would Kill for them, Your Honor-
(Ran out of tags so putting this in the body of the post- I am SO tired someone pls sound off if this isn't as coherent as I am hoping this is. I WAS trying to nap and get the extra sleep I desperately needed but the writing bug... it Bit Me.... only a little but enough to stop that process-)
#for my trans masc scott hcs I am actually so seriously and deeply fond of Kim having been SO supportive of Scott in HS. It's so important +#+to me. it also makes their whole relationship sting a little more but ohhh man. I can just see Kim hyping him up and helping him get more+#+comfortable in his skin. Lisa would definitely help there too imo but just. ahhhhhgshcksjdhg#i need to put some transmasc scott hs stuff on my fic docket. but I have so many wips rn x~x pray for me chat#(literally stopped writing something to answer this dhdjshdjdgw I Am Part Of The Problem-)#as always to people looking for transfem scott stuff I point you towards Scott Pilgrim's Precious Little Egg on AO3- as well as Amy +#+Pilgrim's Precious Little Life (also AO3)#the second has 2 chapters out currently but I believe the 3rd is definitely underway! and then the first has 22 chapters out currently and#+I believe part 3 has just kicked off w that latest one#you've seen some of the authors here before I'm like 99% certain- even if you may not have realized it lol#headcanons#scott pilgrim headcanons#sp comic#spto#spvtw#ramona flowers#kim pine#scott pilgrim#sckimona#(not putting it into ship stuff but like. Definitely what was on the mind)#trans headcanon#trans scott pilgrim#ooc#asks#anon#gmorning all btw. i am still So Tired. I'm gonna try and maybe make more icons today if anyone has any requests? or otherwise I do have +#+some shippy stuff I need to get done. ninjastar edits. vague lukim thing potentially. kinda wanna draw more furry kimona--#i could do furry sckimona..... h m m m m.....#we'll see what happens! admittedly i do also have some Gaming Plans later today and I am helpless but to allow the monopolization of my tim#(fellow lesbians out there will Understand /hj) (if the person i would prefer to have not read that read that Politely Ignore pls-)
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tinysnailtales · 5 months ago
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love the heroine having a moment of realization and frantically running around in search of the male lead (and not even in a romantic way!)
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robinfollies · 7 months ago
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you’re really special, you’re so next-level! ❤️‍🔥🌈💫
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burn pygmalion album art redraw featuring pandora and verity 🫶 the entire album is in my panderity playlist so!! twas inevitable, truly :3c
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jsdimensions · 9 months ago
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Error Of My Ways: Chapter 2
Words: 2,994
Rated T for multiple instances of swearing and heavily implied death.
Read the first chapter before reading this if you haven't already!!! There's a ton of important context there that you will miss out on if you don't.
<- Previous / Next ->
Fic is below the cut.
I felt my heart stop.
Or…soul. Whatever. That didn't matter. Yet.
Turning around slowly, my shoulders raised, and my posture became defensive as I braced myself for the worst-case scenario.
Looking down, however, all I saw was a child with short, brown hair, a yellow shirt with a blue stripe, matching blue overalls, and brown boots. Their eyes were brown, but I could see a hint of red close to their pupils. Rosy cheeks decorated their face.
They looked like a Chara to me. It seemed to me like my portal abilities were a little off. Oh well.
My posture loosened up for the most part, still a little tense and awkward due to my lack of mental preparation when it came to talking to anybody but the voices.
“Oh, uh, hello there…” I smiled anxiously. “What are you doing here?”
“Exploring.”
“Nice,” I responded plainly, trying my best to keep my tone from shifting outside that of casual small talk.
“Hey, you look kind of like somebody I know! His name is Sans.”
“Oh, do I?” I tried my best to feign surprise, but the child I assumed was a Chara variant didn't seem to fall for it.
“Yeah! Here,” the child grabbed one of my sleeves with their smaller hand, “We should go meet him! I bet you'd like him!”
“Well, I don't know, I'm kind of busy–”
They tugged at my sleeve. “C'mon…please? You don't look busy.”
I glanced in a random direction, hoping the voices could help.
“Hey, who knows? It could be fun. Give it a try.”
“don't make the kid sad!!”
“You can leave at any time if something goes wrong.”
I sighed. “Alright, alright…take me away, then.”
I let out a yelp as the child began to run, my sleeve still in their hand. I felt myself almost fall on my face, yet somehow I caught myself. “Hey! Slow down!” The kid didn't seem to hear me. Either that, or they ignored me. As we approached civilization, I quickly used my free hand to pull my hood over my head. Various houses, buildings, and people almost seemed to fly past us as we rushed by.
Finally, we stopped. I quickly saw the building next to us as I regained my composure.
It looked to be about two stories high, with bricks painted a light purple. It wasn't quite the wooden cabin that would usually be found in Snowdin. Despite the place’s seemingly cold atmosphere at first glance, I quickly discovered that it was given a warm sense of life with various decorations scattered about the house, like the colorful Christmas lights that outlined where the edges of the roof were and a sign hung on the door with “Bone Is Where The Heart Is” carved into it.
My posture shifted as I easily became uneasy by the second. The child seemed to notice this, as they quickly spoke up about it.
“What's wrong?”
“I don't know about this…wouldn't they be…well…suspicious of a stranger suddenly being at their house? I don't think the more serious brother would be so welcoming…”
The child looked like they were about to ask a question, but quickly decided against it as a skeleton, about my height, opened the door.
He appeared to be a Swap variant, wearing a large blue cape with constellation patterns littering its deep blue coloration. The rest of his outfit, including a t-shirt, gloves, pants, and boots, were all blue as well, with yellow accents that matched the cape.
“HELLO, HUMAN!” His voice was loud and booming, which caused me to flinch. “DID YOU MAKE A NEW FRIEND?” His eyelights scanned my form, seemingly making sure I meant no harm.
Chara nodded vigorously, a smile spreading across their face. “Yeah! This is…” They looked at me. “What's your name?”
Oh.
I glanced away, a hint to the voices. “Um…”
“go with error for now. you never know if youll decide to change your mind about acting like yourself later.”
“...Error.”
The Swap variant reached out to me, offering a handshake. I accepted tentatively, giving him a nervous smile.
“IT'S NICE TO MEET YOU! I'M SANS. SAY, I'VE NEVER SEEN YOU AROUND.”
I mentally scrambled to think of an excuse.
“Oh, yeah, um, you see, I just…don't go out much. Not really the most social person.”
“I SEE…IN THAT CASE, I COULD BE YOUR SECOND FRIEND!”
“Oh! …Really? I mean, we just met, and–”
“I MEAN IT. YOU SEEM LONELY. I BELIEVE THAT EVERYONE DESERVES A FRIEND OR TWO!”
I let out a short chuckle as I grabbed my scarf again. “Thanks.”
Sans stepped to the side, holding the door open for us. He used his free arm to motion us inside. “COME ON IN! I'M ALMOST DONE WITH SOME TACOS. FORTUNATELY, I MADE EXTRA THIS TIME!”
Chara eagerly entered the skeleton brothers’ home. I tagged along right behind them, scanning the area out of curiosity. As I sat down on a chair in the dining room, I tapped my fingers on the table in front of me.
After a series of noises from plates colliding with each other harshly to what sounded like plastic packaging being torn to shreds, Sans finally strutted into the room, holding two plates with tacos atop them, one in each hand, and carefully set them down in a smooth motion that would make a waiter at a restaurant blush. “BONE-APPETIT!” He punned, eliciting another smile from me.
As Chara began to dig into the taco, I reached towards it but froze.
…The tongues.
I shook my head, grabbing the taco. Why would those be a problem? I doubted they would act on instinct. If anything, I could use them to mess with people…
That final thought made my smile return as I took a small bite out of the taco. It had burger patty meat, cheddar cheese, lettuce, green onions, and sour cream inside its crunchy tortilla shell.
I let out a satisfied noise as the ingredients and flavors melted in my mouth, seemingly dissolving inside it and giving me a refreshing wave of energy that felt similar to the stuff I used for the portal or the bones. Magical energy, I promptly dubbed it. I knew the name wasn't that original, but I didn't really care.
“PAPS!! THE TACOS ARE READY!! GET OUT OF YOUR ROOM!!” Somehow, Sans yelled even louder than usual.
I continued to eat the taco, relishing in its flavor. It was quite similar to the tacos my dad used to make for me a few years ago, minus the green onions and lettuce.
A muffled “coming” could be heard from another part of the house, followed by a collection of soft footsteps. A taller skeleton shuffled into the room, wearing an outfit with the same colors as his brother's. He wore a blue hoodie with yellow sleeves and a fluffy hood, navy-blue shorts, and a pair of matching sneakers.
His relaxed demeanor momentarily faltered as he gave me a brief suspicious glare while I stuffed my face with another bite of taco. I gave him a nervous wave before his gaze shifted to his brother.
“who's this?” He stuffed over to the free seat on the table, which was on the other side of mine.
“A NEW FRIEND! THE HUMAN BROUGHT HIM HERE TO MEET US. HE'S VERY NICE!”
Papyrus scanned me one last time before his expression softened. “if ya say so, bro.” He took a bite out of the taco that sat in front of him. Oddly, Sans hadn't eaten any tacos–did he even make one for himself? I wasn't sure.
I thanked Sans for the food as I (swallowed? dissolved? consumed?) the final bite of the taco. He gave me a thumbs up and a “YOU'RE WELCOME!” in response. Soon after, I got up, pushing the chair I sat on back into the table.
“I'm sorry, but I really need to go. I have some things I need to do.”
Sans nodded understandingly as Papyrus continued to eat his taco.
“Aww, already? There's so much stuff left for us to do, though!” Chara complained, a slight pout on their face.
“Yeah…Again, I'm sorry. If things go well, though, I should be back soon!” I looked at Sans. “Thanks for the hospitality, I appreciate it.” He nodded, his huge smile not shifting in the slightest.
“YOU'RE WELCOME! IT'S THE LEAST I CAN DO FOR A NEW FRIEND.”
I walked over to the door, saying my goodbyes as I turned the doorknob and left. After a few minutes of walking, I found an alleyway where I was able to create a portal back to the Anti-Void from.
I stretched my arms contentedly as I walked through.
“Ahh…that went better than I expected it to.”
“Yeah!”
“Wait A Second…”
“jupiter? theres somebody behind you.”
“What–”
I turned around to see Chara once more. Deja-vu.
“…SH–”
The voices cried out in outrage.
“–HOOT. Shoot! What are you doing here!? It's not safe for you here!” Chara looked around, puzzled.
“It isn't? It doesn't look like anything's here to hurt me.”
“But that's the point! Oh, God, I don't know what'll happen if you stay here for too long…We need to get you back home as soon as possible!”
I frantically opened another portal, immediately noticing that it was an Underfell. Closing that portal, I tried again, only to see an Underground caked in monster dust.
Many attempts after were met with failure. Only once did I see the starry skies of an Outertale, and it was a regular variant, not an Outerswap.
Finally, I sighed loudly, my posture becoming a resigned slouch.
“What were those places? Other planets?”
My anxiety spiked further. My voice wavered and distorted more than usual, shifting in pitch at random. “…Yeah, let's just say that. It's…easier.”
My voice seemed to catch Chara off guard. “Sheesh, are you okay? You…”
“I'm fine. Just voice cracks.” I felt my glitches intensify slightly as I crossed my arms. I turned around, giving Chara a nervous smile and a thumbs up. I could practically see their thought process on their expressive face as they seemed to shrug it off.
“Well, if you say so.” They still remained a little suspicious, but it seemed like they didn't want to pry. Thank God for that…
“Okay, um, hold on–”
“Focus.”
“I'm trying. Shut up.” I waved with one of my hands dismissively, as if the voice was a bug.
“Who are you talking to?”
I felt another spike of glitches, a little more severe than the last, wrack my body before coming up with something on the spot.
“Uh, myself.”
I tried my best to focus once more, attempting to block out the voices until I could finally portal to the right AU. I opened another portal.
However…
“Chocolate?”
Wait, really?
I squinted.
Yup.
“Chocolate!?” Chara ran up to the portal. I stretched out my arm, a motion to stop them from going further.
“LOL???? THEY SOUND LIKE THE CHOCOLATE GUY FROM SPONGEBOB???”
…Oh my God. They did.
Wait, they could hear–
“Hey! We have to go there!”
“Well, I don't know–”
“C'mon! It's chocolate! I know it is! Who doesn't like chocolate!?”
I sigh. For whatever reason, chocolate sounded very good at that moment.
“Well, you got me there. Just make sure to be quiet, and stay hidden. Who knows what could be on the other side?”
They nodded vigorously, running through the portal. This place appeared to be a variant of the woods near Snowdin, made of chocolate. The ‘snow’ was made of tiny white chocolate pieces, the bark of trees was made of dark chocolate, the ground made of…perhaps cookie crumble..? Either way, this place looked delicious. Chara immediately started chowing down on a tree.
“huh never heard of this au before”
“me neither,” I mumbled, making sure I was quiet enough so Chara couldn't hear me as I scooped up a handful of ‘snow’, “but i'm not opposed to it…i explode if i don't have dessert after a meal, anyway.”
“Explode!?”
“r u ok, jupiter???”
“…metaphorically.” I specified before letting out a small, satisfied noise while I shoved some of the false snow into my mouth. “Hmm. This tastes better than I thought it would.”
I wondered if this meant a fragment of Error was still…there. Likely not, I concluded, as it could easily be a change in taste buds. An odd thought, indeed, but one I'd have to get used to along with everything else.
“I know, right!?” Chara yelled whilst chewing on bark. “This place is paradise…” They took another bite of the bark they tore off.
I wasn't sure how much time went by as Chara and I stuffed our faces with candy. The voices murmured to themselves as we did so, but I was too focused on how good everything tasted to listen to them. If I had spit, I was sure my mouth would be watering. The flavor was almost enchanting; a perfect balance of sweetness, bitterness, richness, and salt.
Suddenly, I heard an odd, melodic whistling noise. I could see Chara turn their head to stare at it at the same time I did. The sound of the voices was muffled, but they seemed panicked.
Was it a person making that noise? My vision of the whistling object was almost a strange blur, as if I didn't have my glasses on. I knew I did, however, when I reached up to feel them.
The whistling object looked…appetizing. Was it alive?
“JUPITER.”
I supposed I'd have to find out.
“JUPITER!!! SNAP OUT OF IT!!!”
“You need to leave right now, this place is dangerous.”
“open a portal below you before you two eat a person!”
Shit!
I leaped at Chara before quickly opening a portal below us. I had no time to think of a specific place to go to before we went through, landing in snow.
Real snow this time, thank God.
I had my arms wrapped around the child. Their pupils, which looked a little too dilated moments ago, returned to their regular size. I quickly let go of them, getting up and surveying our surroundings. They simply stayed on the ground, disoriented.
“...What was that.” I didn't know how to process what just happened. The glitches made themselves known once more.
“there was an enchantment of some sort on the candy. i think. idk.”
“Whatever It Was, It Seemed To Do Something Strange To You!”
“i'm glad you got out of there. ty, loud voice!”
“YOU'RE WELCOME!!!!!!”
“Bro you almost ate somebody”
The sound of the so-called ‘loud voice’ made me flinch. Well, it wasn't like the other voices were wrong…
Wait, hold on, I was getting distracted!
“Wait, WHAT!?” Ohhh, shit. Fuck. A person!?
“yea…”
“Shush! Don't attract attention! If even we had no clue what AU that was, then who knows what else could be out there!?”
Oh.
I heard a noise, followed by a groan. Chara was waking up. I didn't even know they were unconscious in the first place?
“Ow…” They held a hand to their forehead as they sat up.
“Let's…not do that again. Where are we, anyway?”
“It looks like a Fell AU”
“yup, red sky in snowdin.”
I turned around, the cold breeze sending a shiver up my spine as I came to a realization.
It's empty.
Abandoned. Particles of dust and snowflakes were almost indistinguishable from one another. Bones impaled various structures around the area.
Footsteps in the distance. I turned around.
A human child, covered in dust with a knife in hand.
I looked back at Chara. They looked frozen in fear, like a deer in headlights. They knew what the dust meant.
The footsteps, suddenly, became faster.
Faster.
I didn't waste any more time.
Once more, I ran to Chara, opening another portal and dragging them through it with me.
I tripped on my own foot. Right before the portal shut, I heard something fly right by where my head just was. It landed on the floor of the Anti-Void with a clatter.
Oh. We're back. Finally. Took me long enough. I rolled over onto my back before sitting up, eye sockets wide.
Chara stared at me in shock. Their expression alone told me everything I needed to know.
“I'm…so, so sorry! I didn't want to…put you in danger like that.” I hoped they would understand what I said, as my voice shook and stuttered at an almost-constant rate. They seemed to get the gist of it, nodding understandingly.
“It's okay! I…think I'm ready to go home. Are all other worlds that scary?”
“No, no…” I opened another portal, “We just got…unlucky, that's all.” The AU on the other side looked like Chara’s original home, but I couldn't know for sure yet. “Stay here, alright? I'll scout ahead and see if this is your world or not.” They nodded wordlessly as I stepped through the portal, finding myself back in the alleyway. A decently-sized group of monsters wandered about, calling Chara's name. Seemed like it was.
I let Chara follow me through the portal. They held out their hand, offering for me to hold it. I accepted their offer, wondering if they did so to comfort the both of us. Maybe, maybe not.
As we got to the end of the alleyway, I stopped.
“Are we still friends?”
They nodded, eliciting a small smile from me. “I know you didn't mean it. You said earlier that you're still learning.”
“Thank you. Go on ahead. I'll see you later. I gotta catch a break at home.”
They let go of my hand, walking away. They looked back at me and waved goodbye. I responded in kind, then went back into the Anti-Void. As soon as the portal closed, I let out a huge sigh.
What a long day, if it even was a full one. Time in the Multiverse was probably very strange.
“where are we headed next?”
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crustaceousfaggot · 3 months ago
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Honestly, I've never really had any interest in Undertale or Deltarune shipping in the past, and that still mostly holds true. That being said, I cannot stop thinking about the delicious psychological horror implications of Kris/Ralsei
#imagine if there was this guy you met who looked exactly like your brother did when he was younger#and like. He's fine. you get along with him fine. He's a bit annoying and cloying sometimes but whatever#and he's clearly attracted to you#like extremely clearly attracted to you. and he sees you as something you aren't.#he can't seem to see past this hero persona that you've been forced to play#and you are not attracted to him. no part of you is attracted to him#but you're being forced to reciprocate#you're hugging him and flirting with him and giving him presents and all you feel feel about it is dread#you can't even tell him you're not interested. because. well. apparently you are#you're being forced to act out this fluffy fairytale romance with someone who again may I remind you is basically your brother#because whoever is playing this sick fucking game you're in has decided that you're cute together#like. idk. i feel like it's old news to point out that both Undertale and Deltarune are Stories About Stories#with Deltarune being largely about control and about what it feels like to be trapped in a narrative that someone else has made for you#And hey. stories have romance. stories have fandoms and those fandoms demand ships where the stoic one is soft for the sunshine one#anyways. do I ship it? um. I'm not sure.#no im the sense that I very firmy believe Kris has absolutely no romantic feelings for Ralsei#yes in the sense that I think Ralsei is written as having feelings for Kris. and I think the dynamic there is INCREDIBLY interesting#and it's something I really really hope we get to see more of in later chapters#Doomed By The Narrative has been done. it's time for Shipped By The Narrative#deltarune#kralsei
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withthewindinherfootsteps · 5 months ago
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pov you’ve just reread the yi city arc… except that clearly wasn’t ENOUGH because of course your analysis brain had to take over and search for parallels, so you have to go and reread and save the most depressing WWX scenes right after…
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i’m fine :))
#catalyst was “at that momrnt wwx saw himself in xxc”#brain: but was there a specific moment on wwx’s end too (or was it more general)? which instant?#(the description made it seem more like a specific moment but it doesn’t ABSOLUTELY rule out the other option)#my money’s on nightless city just post jyl death but it’s not 1:1#of course seeing as it’s describing a feeling. it does NOT have to be 1:1#but you have the parallels between xxc finding out he killed the person he was closest to (sl)#and then wwx seeing i’d say the person he was closest to (jyl) die for his sake#while accusations from others are being thrown#and they’re currently not denying#i was wondering if it could be referring to some time during the siege as well but i’m not sure wwx would be-#unable to “do anything except silently acknowledge the critiques and accusations” then? since he does have sth he’s fighting for there#unlike nightless city#(though that specific wording is partly why i doubted nightless city as well…? since it doesn’t seem like he’s silently acknowledging them)#(instead “he could no longer hear any of them”)#not sure that’s a big enough point of contention though bc context around NC definitely fits the best#of course it could be right afterwards (when he came back to proper consciousness anyway) too and it’s thinking ABT the accusations???#but idk#i do think referring to that moment is most likely#…anyway pictured above is the brain that MADE ME REREAD NIGHTLESS CITY (and “what am i supposed to do now” + wn wq giving themselves in as-#(-other points of comparison)#so thank you very much for that brain….#i’ll probably write sth short about it when my thoughts are less scrambled#or i may keep it to chapter by chapter analysis when i do that#but right now it’s too late#skye rereads mdzs
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wonder-worker · 5 months ago
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are there any books you'd recommend for Isabelle of Angouleme?
Hi! I’m really not an expert on Isabella of Angouleme so I'm probably not the best person to ask for recommendations for her. Here are some I've heard of, though I haven't read all of them:
"Isabella of Angouleme: John's Jezebel" by Nicholas Vincent (King John: New Interpretations). I haven't read it myself but I've heard good things!
“Maternal Abandonment and Surrogate Caregivers: Isabella of Angoulême and Her Children by King John” by Louise J. Wilkinson (Virtuous or Villainess? The Image of the Royal Mother from the Early Medieval to the Early Modern Era). It focuses more-so on Isabella's tenure as queen, the period shortly after John's death, and her decision to leave England. Despite what the title may imply, it's sympathetic to Isabella and analyzes her situation in detail.
“Co-Operation, Co-Rulership and Competition: Queenship in the Angevin Domains 1135-1230” by Gabrielle Storey, her PHD thesis which collectively focuses on Isabella of Angouleme along with Empress Matilda, Eleanor of Aquitaine, and Berengaria of Navarre. You can read/download it here, it's an excellent piece for all four women.
Sally Spong has written/is writing:
Isabella of Angouleme: The Vanished Queen (Norman to Early Plantagenet Consorts). You can see her conclusion here. It's nuanced and sympathetic, though not without its issues and pre-conceived notions.
Isabella of Gloucester and Isabella of Angouleme: Female Lordship, Queenship, Power, and Authority 1189-1220 (PHD thesis University of East Anglia).
“Isabelle d’Angouleme, By the Grace of God, Queen” by William Chester Jordan. You can read it online here, though I will say that it's ... very very questionable, accepting the sensational claims of lot of unreliable sources (including the idea of John abducting Isabella in a fit of uncontrollable infatuation) entirely at face-value.
“The Marriage and Coronation of Isabelle of Angouleme” by H.G. Richardson, available here on JSTOR.
Isabella has also been the subject of two complete French biographies till date:
"Isabelle d’Angoulême, reine d’Angleterre" (Aquitaine: 1998) by Sophie Fougere.
"Isabelle d’Angoulême, comtesse-reine et son temps (1186-1246)" [Actes du colloque tenu à Lusignan, 8 au 10 novembre 1996] by Gabriel Biancotto, Robert Favreau and Piotr Skubiszewski.
There are also a few blog posts about her (here and here) which may help if you want a brief overview of her life, though they can get a little sensationalistic sometimes.
Hope this helps! If anyone knows any others, please feel free to add on!
#I'm so sorry it took so long to answer! I'll add more if I find them#ask#Isabella of Angouleme#angevins#Sally Spong's chapter on Isabella is...complicated#It's detailed and sympathetic and I think it highlights some interesting aspects of Isabella's life#But it's also dependent on her own very fixed pre-conceived notions re Isabella's role as queen#Spong takes issue with other historians' observations about Isabella but...doesn't actually try to debunk the views herself?#It ends up seeming as though she's deliberately missing the point#And I think by reading things in the best possible light she ends up downplaying what may have been complicated experiences for Isabella#For example she disagrees with the idea that John was constraining Isabella's role by highlighting her ceremonial presence at court#But historians like Wilkinson HAVE highlighted this as well and emphasized how the 'ceremonial importance of Isabella's position as queen#consort and the dynastic significance of her maternity' were recognized and honored#But that does not discount or nullify the way Isabella's role does seem to have been constrained elsewhere by John#Namely her lack of control over her lands (many of which were granted away by John) and probable lack of access to queen's gold#Along with her absence from charters and the notable lack of prayers for her welfare save a single exception in 1204#Spong also disagrees with the idea that Isabella was excluded from her son's governance after John's death by highlighting her#presence at his coronation and (months later) at the peace talks between England and France#Which is - again - sort of missing the point??#*Yes* - Isabella's presence in both those occasions is certainly interesting and important when talking about her life#But that does not change the fact that Isabella seems to have been either remote or excluded from central government#She was not directing or working with the council in terms of governance but seems to have been at a distance from power#Which is made even more clear when we look at her charters: her witness lists were comprised of more or less politically insignificant#figures and included no men associated with her son's regency council#It's a striking contrast to the former roles that Empress Matilda and Eleanor of Aquitaine had for their sons#With those very dynamic precedents in place I do think Isabella's remoteness from her son's government is very notable#And I feel like that's...very important when discussing her decision to return to Angouleme?#But because Spong is keen to view Isabella's circumstances in the best light possible she sort of dismisses these discussions#& potential difficulties#It got rather frustrating to read
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thefeastandthefast · 10 months ago
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"For the second time that day, Yang Ying moves closer to the target of her persuasion, gentling with a purposeful touch."
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caffeiiine · 5 months ago
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it’d be so cool to host a rewrite blog, but that requires much forethought and time
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aashiyancha · 1 year ago
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Adventures in the Capitol (part 37 on Masterpost)
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And here's the masterpost link if you would like to read the rest
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skrs-cats · 1 year ago
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have you read the lion blaze self harm scene? kinda sh ig he basically lets …ratscar i think like scratch him up bad by holding his powers back. interesting to me what’re ur thoughts? (idk if that’s the right definition, i’ve always defined it as having someone/yourself injure your body with the intent to hurt) sorry if this is a downer, i just know your a lion blaze enthusiast and wanted to know your thoughts
ohhh yes i do actually. its one of the few scenes i remember better bc i actually own the book where it happened.
to elaborate on the scene more, it happens after he has an argument with cinderheart, who claims they shouldnt be together since he's part of the prophecy, how his destiny is to save the clans (and coincidentally not get hurt) and them being mates would only be distractions
lion's rebuttal? instigate a fight w a patrol near the shadowclan border, disallow himself to fight back, and force the wounds to get inflicted on his body, as a show that he CAN choose to get hurt. that he CAN choose what kind of 'destiny' he should have. ive put my own thoughts about it under read more bc this got long (unsurprisingly jkhasdkjfhd)
i spent like a solid few minutes re-reading the chapter to gather my thoughts on it LOL i remember not thinking much about it when i was a kid, but i think its interesting to analyze now!
what was attempted to be written, at least, piques me bc its about lion trying to prove that they can exist outside of the narrative the prophecy has given them. which is funnily ironic, since the start of the chapter is of him having self doubts regarding saving the clans when they found out theres a fourth cat, how that basically means that the three of them wouldnt be enough, how his destiny might have changed. reading this chapter just gave me a new can of brainworms but ill try not to delve into it too much bc its gonna get way messier LMAOOO
to go back to lion purposely getting himself hurt, i dont think he's the type of person who would do that for the sake of it, unless as a really dumb way to prove a point. but it makes me think he really doesnt have much of a care of whether he'd get hurt or not. a severe lack of self-preservation, and all that. cats back at camp react to his wounds w all around shock, he's herded into the med den all the while he acts like he'll be fine. i dunno if the shock from the cats is just bc theyre just so used to seeing him NOT hurt, or if his wounds were really that bad. but either or both still pretty much gives me a lot to think about. homeboy doesnt know the limits of his body, and that makes for interesting scenarios of how he manages to deal w that after losing his powers
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