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eddiernunson · 11 months ago

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Selfish | Steddie x Fem!Reader | 18+

Summary: Reader is torn as she wants two people at once, and she figures it's impossible...in the sense that they would never want her. She is proven wrong after making an accidental audience with Eddie one night...

Warnings: voyeurism, perv!Eddie, public smut, masturbation (f + m), a little bit of Steve x reader, double penetration...and lots of self indulgent writing.

Authors' Note: Yeah this is just self indulgent. That's all. I'd want them both. <3

Word Count: 10.8k

Selfish.

On a regular day, it’s hard not to feel completely selfish. There’re a million different voices in your head telling you to make a damn choice. Not just telling, but begging.

Not just in your head, but in your life. Your friend and confidant, Robin is one of the many voices telling you so.

You can’t help it, it started so innocently. During the course of the school year, you happen to start thinking that Eddie Munson is damn fine. Your paths barely cross, only seeing him across the cafeteria at lunch or the occasional party to sell. Something about him drew you in. His hair, his hands, his strong forearms, his lust for life, that slutty little waist… He is enticing, hypnotising.

It’s not like you’re ever going to get with someone who you’ve never spoken to unless you somehow drag him into a hallway closet. Oh, isn’t that idea ever tempting?

It’s an uneventful day at school, save for the random graffiti anonymously placed on each class room door. There were several suspects, the perpetrator found but not announced, much to the entire school’s dismay.

When Robin meets you at your regular table, she has a litany of complaints up her sleeve. If you don’t stop her, she can talk for hours about any given subject that passes through her brain. At this point, from an entire summer and autumn working with her on top of spending many hours shooting the shit with her, you’re ridiculously used to it. You might even call it charming.

As usual, you listen with an empathetic, yet distracted ear. Your eyes flicker to Munson every now and then, appreciating the way his muscle shirt shows off his toned arms. Usually, they’re engulfed by his large leather jacket, but on this unusually hot autumn day he is taking advantage of the warmer weather.

Oh, and so am I, you think to yourself, eyeing him up and down appreciatively.

Your eyes flicker back to Robin, holding back a giggle at her expression. She knows about your crush of course, not that you’d tried to hide it. Robin would come up with schemes to set you up with him, but there’s one little obstacle.

“You’re shameless, you know that?” She accuses, a half smile on her face. She’s being playful, as always. “One of these days, you’re going to have to make up your mind.”

This conversation is repeated, always on replay. It’s one of your little games. “I mean,” you start cheekily, “who said anything about talking to them?”

She shakes her head, quiet laughter leaving her lips. “You are impossible.”

See, Robin knew your secret. Not only were you infatuated with Eddie, but with your coworker as well. Steve.

Steve is a bit more realistic; you suppose. After all, you work part time with him, up to 25 hours a week. Most of the job is spent moving tapes from place to place, categorizing, and talking shit. Lately, even more than normal, you’re hypnotized by him, your eyes sometimes glazing over as you take in just how pretty his brown eyes are.

Man, do you have a thing for brown eyes.

This usually eggs him on, thinking his words must mean something. They don't, really. You don’t take in a single word of what he’s saying. You’re just admiring him, his pretty lips, the freckles decorating his skin…

See, your problem is that you can’t decide on which one you’d want more…not that there’s any part of you that remotely thinks you would have that luxury. You’re not possibly conceited enough to believe that you would have a choice. Really, if it came down to it, (emphasis on if), it would be which one would choose you.

And they have so much better to choose from.

So, you let yourself imagine it. There’s certainly no harm in the what if.

“Not impossible, just horny.” You laugh, winking at the way she chokes on her water.

Steve pushes the cart of returns around, tapping his hands rhythmically on the plastic. You are on rewind duty, using a rewinder to go through each returned tape quickly and effectively. It’s a weekday, so business has been slow. Weekdays give more leeway on the display tvs, topics of discussion, and finally, to fuck around.

“Hey, Robin isn’t working today, right?” Steve asks, looking back at you.

You’re invested in the movie playing, leaning against the counter. “Hmm?” The question registers. “Oh, no she’s off on Wednesdays, remember? Band rehearsal after school.”

“Right, right.” He nods, something clearly on his mind.

“Something going on in that pretty little head of yours, Harrington?” You ask, switching the tape out for a new one.

He looks over his shoulder, licking his lips. “Pretty, huh?”

You roll your eyes, completely missing the way his eyes trail down your body. Your disregard of any possibility for a mutual attraction really is your blind spot. “You know you’re pretty, Harrington. Don’t play dumb.”

He shakes his head, pushing the cart along towards the romance section. “If you say so, sweets.”

You lick your lips, tasting the cherry ChapStick that deepens the shade of your lips into a darker red. Something about him is different today.

On the computer is a sticky note asking if the back room filled with unlabelled tapes could be organized and categorized. With the lack of customers, list of chores completed, and plenty of time left in your shift, you end up being bored enough to follow through. It won’t be done in one shift, but at least you’ll get it started. It’s a damn tedious process.

Not even twenty minutes pass by, a pile of marked and labeled tapes already to your left when the door to the back room shuts. You suspect for only a second that Steve needed to grab something, until you feel a pair of hands on your hips and hot breath on your neck. You freeze, gulping as you stare dead ahead at the tapes standing in a row. Your throat dries up like a drain unplugged, every limb freezing in place like you’re glued to the spot.

“Steve?” You ask after a moment passes.

He hums, thumb swaying up and down your hip, gently brushing past the hem of your shirt onto your bare skin. The other hand curtains your hair from your shoulder, trailing kisses down the curve of your neck. As a reflex you relax into it, sighing as you lean into his warm, wet, touch. The sensation flutters throughout your limbs, turning every bone, every muscle, into gelatin.

Your head falls back against his shoulder as his teeth scrape across your skin decorated with goosebumps. Your relaxed disposition is short lived, freezing up when your mind catches up to what the hell is happening. “Wait—” you protest, head snapping up in a frenzy.

He holds your face, turning it towards him. Eyes are hooded, looking tired, but from his dilated eyes you can tell he’s anything but. “What?”

“We-we’re at work, Steve, someone can come in at any moment…”

He listens, partially, barely. His eyes flicker down to your lips, all shiny and tugging him in. “Is that your only protest?” Your heart races, feeling as if someone is pulling at the corners of your mouth as you hesitantly nod. “No one has come in for over an hour, and I locked the door and turned the sign around. We won’t be bothered.”

“Oh.” A gasp leaves your lips as he leans in for a kiss, mouth deliciously open against yours. He demands full control, his fingers spreading across your neck. Your body turns to face him, grabbing onto the collar of the polo shirt he wears under his green vest. You can barely keep up with him, giggling out of pure, absolute, giddiness.

His hand runs up your torso, shaking yet demanding. Your vest is pulled down your arms, his hand pulling you against him. He starts kissing down your neck, pushing you so his arm and your back collide with the shelf behind you. A startled gasp fills the small room, your feet shuffling as the mixed sensations create a pool in the bottom of your stomach.

“Look at you, so pretty, you feelin’ good?” You nod, a hand twisting under his shirt and grabbing at his bare torso. His voice is dripping in husk, gorgeous in a way you’ve only ever pictured.

“Uh huh,” you manage to choke out.

He doesn't falter at his multitasking, his expert tongue working against yours as his hands work the button of your jeans open and the zipper down. “Let’s see how soaked you are...” The joints where your jaw is attached to your skull feels as if they vanish as your jaw drops open and Steve places his hand on your thin, cotton panties.

“Shit, honey, you are soaked.” He mutters, a sly half smile on his face.

“Jesus,” you whimper as he gently teases you.

He wastes no time, pushing your pants down your ass, watching as he exposes you with a stupid level of intrigue. “Baby, you know how pretty your pussy is, just dripping wet, jus ‘for me?”

He slips a finger in, reaching the deepest depths, somewhere yours never fucking could. He’s so fucking good at it too, watching your face as his thumb rotates on your clit, the pleasure from it more than you knew was possible. “S-Stevie,” you whimper, fingers clutching onto his shirt. “Oh, my god.”

“Wanted to see you like this for weeks, honey.” He adds another finger, his face watching and listening for every reaction you feed him. He eats them up like he’s been starving for you.

This information simply didn’t process, because there is no possibility this is true. None. “R-really?” You ask, leg moving up to get better access to your pussy.

Steve smirks, relishing in how you tighten around his digits. “Of course, honey.” His voice is like velvet, tender and smooth. He starts to move them faster, pumping them quickly, watching the breaths from your mouth grow shallower, your head falling back onto a shelf. “You think I don’t notice you watching me?”

Steve loves the reactions you give him, watching how you melt into putty in his hands. “You did?” It’s so close, he’s only started and you’re already being hurtled towards the edge.

“The way your thighs tense up, your eyes watching me, those pretty lips parted…” he explains, you have to give him credit for being much more observant than you had pegged him for. “Wanted to put my thumb in your mouth so many times, darling.”

“Why didn’t you?” You ask him, tensing up as you get close to your climax.

He laughs. You’re almost offended by his nonchalance. Is…is he not turned on, too? “We were surrounded by people, sweets. I have some self control, yunno.”

The reminder that you’re in the back room with him at work is on your mind, a hint of cockiness floods your head. “Evidently, not-not that much.”

He works his fingers harder, you’re not sure if it’s a reward or punishment for your words, but the orgasm is abrupt, overflowing your senses completely as you shake against the shelf. “There she is,” he mutters, fingers working you through every sensation he so expertly provides you.

He smirks as he watches the afterglow take over your face, biting his lip when your head finally lifts up to face him. Just when you think he couldn’t possibly get any hotter, he proves you wrong. You don’t doubt he will prove you wrong again. And again.

…and again.

You barely take a second to recover, hands fumbling down for his jeans button. “Kay, now I need you.” You urge him, grinning at the way his cock pops out against the fabric of his shirt. A hushed swear falls from your lips when you take in his size, bigger than you even thought he was.

And you thought he was huge.

“Yeah?” He asks, a droopy smile on his face when your eyes peer up at him.

You nod, wrapping your hand around him, jerking him off. He’s thick, the head flushed red and a vein wrapping around it. When his face crumples, a crease appearing between his eyes, you’ve already proven yourself right in your theory. “Please, Stevie.” You urge him, pulling his cock towards your entrance.

Your ass sits on an empty shelf, where it’s been resting since he fucked his fingers into you. When he slaps his cock, already leaking with precum, against your clit, you whine impatiently, silently begging for him. “I like when you ask so nicely. Do it s’more, will ya?”

“C’mon, Stevie, I want your cock, so fucking bad. I’ve pictured this so many times, I fucking need it. Please.” You don’t mention anything about a third party usually being present, but that could come up, maybe…

Steve grins, marveling in the way your voice is so pathetic for him. It’s even better than he imagined, by more than a million miles. A part of him is greedy for you, greedy for even more proof of how badly you’ve wanted him, despite the clear evidence from the first time he clocked it.

At the time, he wondered if he was picturing it, the way your eyes were unfocused and shifted down at his arms. He was barely flexing them, when he did experimentally, he watched your breath literally hitch, eyes hurriedly switching back to his face.

It took a few more days of experimentation, but he finally confirmed it when the evidence was too congruent to think otherwise.

He’s even more greedy for you, having spent many nights thinking about you bent over, on your knees, on your back, riding him, you name it, he’s thought of it.

He can ask you to continually beg for him another time, right now he’s just desperate for you, so he ignores the call to ask you to beg even more and pushes the head in.

The gasp, your jaw dropping, the swears that fall from your lips and invade the quiet room, the way your pussy sucks him in, everything about your reaction is perfect to him. The feeling is likewise, watching in real time as his eyes darken for you, and for you alone.

He’s huge in a way you can’t even comprehend, frighteningly so. Still, he starts thrusting, gently as he can muster, still stinging, regardless. He knows he should wait, he has to every time he’s with someone new, but god damn if your pussy wasn’t the best he’s ever felt in his life. His hips move wondrously, rolling them in a way that feels like magic.

You can’t help the yelps and the whines that fill the room, watching and combing your fingers through his famous locks. They’re so soft, despite the constant hairspray and hair products he uses. While the pain mostly overshadows the pleasure, the combination is beautifully laced together.

Boy, can he fuck better than you had imagined. While you have thought of some things while imagining him, nothing has ever even compared to all that he’s giving you.

The moans that pass through his mouth, the roll of his hips, the crumpled expression on his face…all things that your brain could never come up with. Sure, you thought he could talk dirty, imagined his long fingers instead of yours, maybe picturing the way you so desperately finger yourself; this wasn’t remotely close to what you imagined.

Hell, it wasn’t anywhere near what you had imagined.

It’s so much better.

You whimper, stuttering on the S of his name, unable to finish it, too blissed to care.

“S-s, what, honey? What’s that you were saying?” He chuckles deeply when you tighten around him. “Oh, you like being talked down to, huh? Like being put in your place?”

You nod, pulling him for a needy kiss, losing any sense of concentration when his hand lands on your clit, rubbing it in the exact way you needed him to.

“I fucking knew you would, little whore getting fucked at work, taking his big cock like you were made to, fuck.” His thrusts get stronger, harder, faster, gasping wordlessly at how fucking good he is at it.

“Fuck, Stevie, you gonna breed me? Gonna cum in my pussy? Need it so fucking bad, please, please, pleasepleasepleaseplease.”

The smile that invades his face is cocky, watching you crumble under him. “Listen to your pretty voice beg for me, you really want me that bad, huh?” You nod, wondering how his hips hit harder. How was that possible? “Gonna breed you, honey, just keep being a good girl f’me, and I’ll fill you up, mmkay?”

You nod, watching the beads of sweat slowly coat his reddened face. One hand curls itself into the hair by the crown of your head, gripping tightly and watching the intense pleasure that takes over your face. Your eyes roll into the back of your head, no longer aware of any existence outside of this room, you’re here, only here, and will only be here.

“Shit, gonna fill you up, honey, need to feel you cum all over my cock, won’t you, please, sweets, need it—” while he thinks your begging is beautiful, his is just the thing to put you over the edge. The fluttering of your tight walls around him pulling the cum that fills you up beautifully.

His cock thrusts through the collective orgasm you feel together, the force of it pushing his load out of your pussy, you watch it leak past his length and down your thighs. It’s a sight that almost makes you cum again.

He smirks, catching his breath in time with you. He places kisses up your throat, taking in the way you tighten around him. Finally, you come back down to earth, the smell of sex in the room from your tryst overwhelming it. How much febreeze would it take to hide it? Your jeans are barely down to your knees, shirt ruffled, and hair a mess. Man, did you get caught up in him, his kiss, his scent, his cock.

A shy grin cascades across your face, watching as a piece of hair curls its way into his eye. “Hi, beautiful.” He greets, hand plastering itself onto your cheek.

“Hi.” You whisper, still pulsing around him.

“Did you enjoy it as much as I did?” He asks, biting his lip as his eyes look bored into yours.

“Probably more.” You admit, grinning cheekily. “You did all the work.”

He laughs in answer, placing a kiss on your cheek as he pulls out. The loss is stark, you suddenly feel so empty.

Oh, he did manage his entire length. Fuck.

“Was it everything you wanted?”

You flick an eyebrow up at him, tilting your head. “I don’t know, Harrington. You tell me.”

He laughs, winking at you. “Yeah, whatever.”

You wouldn’t exactly call yourself his girlfriend at this point because that certainly didn’t feel like an invitation for such. In fact, when Steve mentions his date coming up that weekend you don’t exactly feel heartbreak, just jealousy.

Whatever weird relationship you just started with him, coworkers with benefits or whatever, you are down for it. You're immediately wondering how often you’ll be in the back room with him, sharing cheeky looks across the room when he winks at you.

When he’s that good, it’s hard not to be.

Despite the urge to, you actually don’t tell Robin over the phone about your hook up with Steve. Something about the secrecy just makes it that much hotter. You lie, telling her the night was boring with customers appearing for their late returns.

The store is reopened, Steve grinning at you manically as he continues with his work. Well, if you can call putting the returns away “work”.

Your mom is at work for the night, taking a double at the hospital. She left twenty bucks on the counter for supper, leaving a note to order some take out. Well, pizza it is. You order the vegetarian deluxe, rolling your eyes at the wait time; forty-five minutes to an hour. Apparently, they are very busy tonight. Whatever.

You decide to kill time, running up to your room and jumping on your bed, kicking your panties off, keeping the sweatshirt you wear on. Your fingers happily dance themselves onto your clit, using some of the gift Steve left you as lubricant.

Sometimes, the person you imagine takes over for you, sometimes they simply put their cock in you, disguised in the form of a dildo. This time, they merely watch.

“That’s right, let’s see those fingers touch your pretty clit.” You imagine his voice, Eddie, picturing him watching you. “Little slut can’t even be satisfied with Harrington’s cock, huh?” He asks, and yeah, maybe you are a desperate slut ready for either man to take advantage of you. But who fucking cares, at this point? Your hand moves up to touch your tit, sneaking past the hem of your shirt, when your own imagination stops you. “No, you can touch yourself over your sweater, I’m letting you touch your pussy, isn’t that enough?”

Somehow it makes you moan desperately, massaging it pathetically. You shake your head, feeling a bit like a brat for the moment.

“No? Feeling greedy, huh?” He asks, you picture his dark brown eyes fixated on your pussy, fingers itching to touch you, just able to prevent himself from doing so.

You grin, nodding. “Please let me, I’ll be so good.” You take full advantage of no one being home.

“Hmm. Don’t think you will be…” He muses, and man, did you know what you liked. You desperately hoped he would know, too. “You already had Harrington’s cock today, and now you want someone else?”

“Yeah, she is quite a slut, ain’t she?” Oh, there he is.

The idea of the two of them here, watching you with dark eyes, both breaking at the seams at resisting the want to touch you, creates a new stir in you that feels nearly impossible.

“Look at how greedy she is, desperate for us, ain’t she?” You picture Eddie agreeing, squatting right in front of your bed to get a closer look.

Suddenly you forget about the urge to beg them to let you touch your tit and move on to begging for them. Begging for one of them, at least, to finally take pity on you and just fuck you already. Why is this so enticing to you? Why does it draw you in so, like a moth to a flame?

Well, you suppose if the flame was two hot, gorgeous, capable men, you’d be drawn to it just as a moth is, despite how badly the heat burns you.

Your fingers grow faster, gasping more intensely as the scenario furthers in your mind. You’re about to push yourself over the edge, the whines from your throat loud and desperate, when the doorbell rings twice, one after the other. Fuck, the pizza’s here.

You completely forgot you even ordered food to begin with.

You rush to put a pair of sweats on, petting your hair down desperately as you pick up the 20 from the counter. The bell rings twice more, you yell “I’m coming, I’m coming!” at the impatient driver. Well, you would’ve been if they were just five minutes slower.

The door opens to face Eddie Munson, holding a pizza in his hand and wearing a dorky delivery driver visor. Huh, the last thing you ever expect him to wear is a bright yellow visor, the shade of American cheese, with a dripping piece of pizza on it, that’s for damn sure. Well, the last thing you expected was to see Eddie Munson, especially with what you were just doing, what you were just picturing. Well, this is awkward. For you it is, for him you guessed it was just another delivery.

You smile awkwardly, tossing him the 20 and trading for your pizza. He asks how much you want back as the order and the delivery fee only cost you 10 dollars in total. You insist he takes the ten-dollar tip, grinning when he blinks in disbelief.

As much as you want to stay and talk to him and get a better handle of his voice, you were so close, and you can feel it starting to drift away. You close the door with a frank thank you and slide the pizza on the counter, running up the stairs.

As the door slams in his face, Eddie’s eyebrows raise, finding the whole interaction peculiar. In fact, when you opened the door, he clocked the scent right away. With how wet you are, both your arousal and Steve’s cum dripping down your thighs, it flooded his nose. Eddie knows the smell of pussy and knows it well. You were in such a rush to get back to your own imagination, you didn’t notice the way his jeans started to tent at the crotch.

Eddie starts to shrug it off, accepting the tip and taking the hint that you wanted alone time, but a sound, enticing and wonderous, floats into his ears. He thought he was hallucinating, did…did he just hear his name?

He wanders past the gate to your backyard and looks up to an open window, not seeing you, but hearing the moans that leave your throat as you continue your mission. His jaw slacks open, listening to you beg for him, beg for his cock. God, now knowing he has such power over you is driving him insane.

His cock throbs in his jeans to the point of hurting, he grabs himself just for the tiniest bit of relief, slightly stroking himself to the sound of your voice. Eddie’s legs are restless, like he wants to go back to your front door and ask if you want his help. He nearly carries himself there, ready to devour you, his career as a delivery driver be damned.

He only makes two strides when the second thing that freezes him into place comes out of your mouth. The first was you openly begging for him, but the second one is hearing you add someone else’s name in the mix. Eddie mistakes it for the wrong name, but as you intertwine his with Steve’s, it becomes clear to him that he wasn’t the only one you were currently begging for.

Your voice gets higher, more urgent, the begging transitions from begging for them to fuck you, which, jesus, to letting you finish. Man, he loves the way your mind works. He slips his cock out, unable to resist relieving himself any further. His eyes flicker to your neighbors’ lights, he hopes no one would be nosey enough to peer into your backyard for the night.

Come to think of it, he’s actually not sure he would care all that much.

The symphony of strings of swears and whimpers that float down from your window only adds fuel to his fire. “Oh, baby, just letting anyone listen to you, if they really wanted to, huh?” Sometimes being vocal is his Achillies heel. He should shut up, especially perving like this, but it’s nearly impossible.

You beg his name, imagining him and Steve refusing again.

“Listen to you beg like a little slut, hmm?” He muses, regretting that there’s nothing for him to clutch on to.

“Eddie, m’ so close…”

“Not yet, doll.” He chides, hoping you’ll play along.

A miracle happens, as if you know exactly what his intentions would be. “Stevie, please?”

“Hmm, don’t you dare, Harrington.” Eddie threatens, and now he really does want to join you.

“Please, I’ve been so good…”

Your insistence, your sweet voice begging for him, God, Eddie’s already so damn close himself. “Let’s hear it, baby.”

The stars align, because from the sounds of your whines that come from your window are just enough for Eddie to spill over his fist, spurts of his cum dripping onto the grass beneath him. From the sounds of it, your orgasm is something that makes your every muscle spasm, the kind that lingers for minutes after. While your mewls, and whines, and whimpers are practically perfect, Eddie really wishes he could get the visuals.

He sees a shadow move; he wonders if you just remembered you have food waiting. He’d better move from your driveway before you realize he’s still there.

On his way to drop off a pizza that is also waiting to be delivered, one he knows he will have to pay for himself after the wait, (worth it), an idea forms in his head that is just too good for him to pass up or call it like it is…insane.

When you feel a repetitive tap on your forearm at lunch the following week, you believe Robin is trying to annoy you. You ignore her, focusing on the novel you’re reading while you shrug her off. At the clearing of someone’s throat, you finally look up.

Oh, shit.

Eddie stands in front of you, hands in his pockets as he nods to the seat right next to you. All you can do is nod, out of breath as he sits in the seat right next to you.

“I’ll uh, just get going.” Robin mutters, shooting you a smirk as she gathers her backpack and takes off.

You shoot daggers at her, anxiously twisting your hands under the table, gulping as your nerves flood your senses.

Eddie rests his jacket leather covered arms on the table, head turned towards you. “Enjoy your pizza?” He asks, a twinkle in his eyes you can’t quite place.

Your brows furrow, confused until it dawns on you. He was the one that delivered it. “Oh…it-it was good.” You smile, sighing nervously.

A lopsided smile takes over Eddie’s face, he watches as the wheels turn in your pretty noggin. Knowing what the confusion meant when they furrow until the realization hits you. It’s a breath of fresh air, really, knowing he didn’t need to worry about rejection, knowing how secretly desperate you are for him.

He nods, licking his lips. “Good, good.” The way you sit nervously, the subtle tensing of your thighs, you’re sweet, amusing, even. “You going to Harrington’s party this Saturday?”

You blink, taking in the sentence. “Huh?”

He chuckles, and the smile on his face is gorgeous. “Harrington. Know him?” You nod, eyes wide. “You going to his party?”

Steve literally invited you the day before, suggesting he might drag you into a closet or something. “Yeah, I am.”

“Wanna go with me?”

Yes. Yes, you do. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. “Sure.” You accept, leaning on your elbow, a shy smile on your face.

“Pick you up at 10?” Somehow, Eddie has the ability to make you feel breathless, and his skin hasn’t even grazed yours yet.

Hopelessly, desperately, you wait for Saturday. Over the week, Eddie has caught your eye across the cafeteria, shooting his cocky grin that continually melts you into a puddle.

That same cocky grin he gives you as he drives over to Steve’s. While Steve knows of your crush on him, he also was aware of how much you like Eddie. Honestly he’s just rooting for you, seeing the excited glint in your eye when you give him the news.

Every little part of you is wondering how it is possible that you might have the choice…when weeks ago you thought you had no possible chance with either of them. There’s a slight part of you wondering…wondering if you’d slipped into an alternate universe where the world is starting to work out in your favor. It feels plausible until you wondered why the hell you’d be going to work or doing homework in your perfect world.

Eddie’s hand rests on your shoulder as you enter, the music blaring from Steve’s living room. A crowd of sweaty teenagers jumping, grinding, dancing, filled to the brim with far too much alcohol. You’d barely said a word to him, stuck in your head as you accepted a red solo cup from him. He makes his own mix, a brown liquid you don’t recognize with some coke. Yours is a vodka-sprite mix, hoping the extra shot you pour will loosen you up a bit.

Or…a lot.

“Dance with me?” He asks, pointing to the living room as he takes a big swig.

You squint at him, already in the middle of taking a big gulp, wincing at the burn. “You dance?”

He shrugs, fingers tapping on the red plastic of his cup. “I do when pretty girls dance with me.”

You take another big gulp, already feeling the effects. What can I say, you are a lightweight. “Better go find one.”

Well, it seems the alcohol is doing its thing.

Eddie’s arm easily wraps around your waist, pulling you up against him. The look in his eye excites you, gulping as his hot breath is on your neck, enticing a shudder. “You little shit.” He mutters, a smug little grin on his face. “I was already asking a pretty girl for your information. I was giving you the privilege of asking, but now you have no choice.”

The cup nearly collides with your nose as he takes another swig, his eyes never leaving yours. His hand easily intertwines with yours as he tosses the cup over his shoulder, tugging you to the living room.

You follow him, hypnotized by his siren’s song. Eddie doesn’t have an inch of patience left in him, already antsy from the show you put on for him. He lets his hands wonder, holding you close to him and going everywhere, your hips, your thighs, your ass, even trailing under your tiny skirt. You don’t protest, inhaling his scent. The mix of body wash, cologne, and just him is mouthwatering.

He doesn’t ask, doesn’t need to from the way you melt in his arms when his lips finally land on yours. The reward of your moan vibrating into his mouth is just what he needs, the very reward he was looking for. You don’t have it in you to pretend you aren’t eager, your lips searching for his as soon as it registers. The kisses are urgent, fervent, and just the right amount of messy.

His knee makes its way between your legs, already mapping how easy it is to make you fall apart, even in the middle of a crowd. And do you ever fold in his arms even at the subtle touch of his hands on your skin, tongue on yours, the adrenaline in your veins… it’s enough to make you forget you’re in a crowd.

When his tongue lands on your throat, sending ripples of pure ecstasy down your spine. The moment he feels you start to grind on his thigh, he has you right where he wants you. His mouth dives into your ear, heated breaths sending a chill through you. “I’ll be right back.”

Confused, you catch his eye, faltering as his knee leaves where it’s stationed.

He winks, walking across the living room, feeling pretty smug at how he feels your eyes on the back of his head.

Now for his plan.

Steve invited a girl over for his party, deciding he’d do exactly what he had insisted he’d do with you. Instead, he’s mesmerized by how you and Eddie are grinding across the way from him. No matter how hard he tries, he couldn’t keep his eyes off the two of you, now wishing you were following through on said plans with him.

When Eddie’s lips met your neck, he feels entirely too restless, forcing himself not to place you in the middle of a sandwich he’d very much like to be a part of.

Now the girl is off with another dude having sought out a different sex buddy when Steve backed out, making out with some jock on his couch. Not that he cares, he’s barely noticed her. He’s far too busy being captivated by you and your date.

Speaking of your date, he attempts to look busy as soon as Eddie starts crossing the room, to where Steve assumed was the bathroom a few feet behind him. Boy, was he wrong. As Steve crowds into the wall, pretending to be staring off towards anywhere else, Eddie stops right next to him, observing Steve with a smirk.

Eddie started keeping track of Steve as soon as he got to the party, keeping mental tabs on him. It wasn’t hard, Steve’s eyes were glued the two of you, and it made Eddie’s plan ten times easier.

“Hi, Harrington.” He smirks, watching Steve’s shallow breathing and shifty eyes. Wasn’t very often he’s seen him lack confidence, and it’s almost too easy to get the two of you to dance how he wanted. “Enjoying the show?”

Steve falters, batting his pretty eyelashes as he processes it. “I-I’m not sure what you mean.”

Eddie rolls his eyes with his arms crossed. It certainly doesn’t help that Eddie had used every one of the tools in his belt. Shown off his arms, put some care into his hair, wore a shirt that was just a little too short for his torso…

As planned, it was working like a charm. “C’mon Steve, those pretty eyes of yours were burning a hole into the back of my head the entire time. Or…were you not watching the way she grinded on my leg?”

Steve’s eyes flicker to you, having now moved back into the kitchen to get another cup of alcohol. His eyes meet Eddie’s again, gulping, not able to find it in himself to deny any further. “Okay, so I was. It’s basically impossible not to.”

Eddie’s smile grows, his teeth just barely peeking through. “Isn’t it?” It really falls into Eddie’s favor that Steve was already against the wall, hand landing right next to his face. “Well, I gotta be honest, from the look on your face it almost looked like you wanted to join us.”

Oh god, is Steve hallucinating, or did Eddie just invite him to do the very thing he so desperately craved? “Don’t threaten me with a good time, Munson.”

Eddie rolls his eyes again, amused at the hesitance Steve displays. “I’m not. I’m inviting you to one.”

Steve’s breath hitches, Eddie affirming exactly what he was afraid of. “Think she’d be down for that?”

The genuine laughter that leaves Eddie’s lips is a bit startling, to say the least. “I can say, Steve, with 100% certainty, that she would be.”

“Well, shit, Eds.” Steve laughs, already hard from the mere thought of it. “Let’s go get our girl.”

A part of you starts to worry, tipsy as you stare into your drink while sitting next to who you thought was Steve’s date but is all over some football jock. Despite your date being Eddie, you were glad. Your jealousy can start simmering down. You catch Eddie’s jeans ripped at the knee, eyes raking up to his face, noting Steve trailing right behind him.

Eddie ignores your confused face, offering his hand for you to take. Yours lands in his, and it wraps around yours as he effortlessly tugs you up to him. “Come on, we’re going upstairs.” He waits for you to acknowledge Steve standing by you, eyebrow quirking up. “Oh, Steve’s joining us.”

You are not protesting. That's the last thing you'd be doing. If anything, it’s just sudden. All you can do is let out stuttered breaths, attempting to ask how, or why, before getting to the what.

Eddie pretends to falter, brow furrowing as he condescendingly tilts his head. “What, I thought this is what you wanted?”

Okay, how could he possibly know that? “Y-yes, yes, I do, but-but how--?”

“You should probably close your window next time you decide to order food and have a bit of fun, there, sweetheart.” Your eyes shoot open wide, immediately understanding why Eddie approached you when he did. Your window. He leans into Steve, laughter sitting under his voice. “Stevie, should’ve heard her, she was begging for us both, sweet thing had no idea I could hear.”

Steve’s mouth turns into a smirk, watching the many phases your sweet face goes through. “That true? You thinking of us both at the same time?”

By this point, your eyes haven’t even stopped switching between the two men as they leer over you. You wonder how many times this exact scenario has crossed your mind, giving you eyes as they proposition you to be the delicious middle of their sandwich. It’s everything you want, everything you crave.

Then why the fuck is it so damn terrifying?

“You got words, sweetheart?” Eddie asks, catching Steve’s eye, who has his hands on his hips, his eyes curtained by those glorious locks.

No words come to mind, except how fucking wet their gazes make you feel. You let your action speak for itself, turning on the spot to run up the stairs.

You’re halfway up when you hear the thumping of two sets of feet behind you vaguely over the loud music, giggles bubbling up your throat as you turn around the corner down the hall. Not panic, but pure excitement fills your chest as the sounds of footsteps invade the upstairs. A hand grabs yours, yanking you back to the door that Steve opens, his own room.

Sometimes it’s occupied by some random hook ups, he usually tries to lock it for a big party, but honestly if there were someone in his room, he would’ve kicked them out. He’s already hooked up in his mom and dad’s room, as barf inducing as it is, and he refuses to do so on this particular night.

Eddie is right behind you as you enter, hands already making their way under your shirt. He’s eager, his hand hooking under the hem and lifting it over your head and your arms. The cold air meets your skin, gifting it goosebumps. Your shirt hits the floor, you can hear it on Steve’s hardwood. The sound is minor in the grand scheme of things, currently focused on Steve’s lips on yours and Eddie’s hands making their way under the wire of your bra.

Steve’s hands grab at your shoulders, pulling you so you fall on top of him, Eddie giggling as he lands on the two of you. Eddie’s laughs weave with the kisses he scatters along your back, your neck, hands moving absentmindedly as he undoes the backing of your bra.

Under you, Steve’s hands delicately grab the straps of the bra and pull them off your arms. Your bra is flung across the room without a second thought, Steve palming your tits and playing with the nipples between his fingers, twisting and groping them as you mewl into his ear.

Eddie falls sideways onto the bed, the momentum knocking both you and Steve on your sides as well with him. You giggle, starting to grab at the edge of Steve’s shirt to lift over his head. Eddie flips your skirt up, his long fingers touching the fabric over your weeping pussy.

“Fuck, you’re soaked.” Eddie mumbles, sneaking under the waistband of your panties, touching you softly and moving his finger up and down. “Pretty baby must be turned on, hmm?”

Steve bends down to mouth at your nipples, his silk tongue hot and magical, gently nipping with his teeth in a way that makes your blood sing.

The marvelous mixture of sensation has your head flung back on Eddie’s shoulder, writhing in their holds as they work together. One of Eddie’s fingers slips in, long and deep within you. A loud gasp fills the room as Eddie’s thumb rotates your clit slowly and watches you fall apart.

His finger hooks, working perfectly against your g-spot. “F-fuck!”

Steve licks up the mound of your breast, dirtily licking all the way to your neck, nibbling bruises across your neck. “Gonna cum so quickly, sweets?” Steve asks, teasing you.

“Feels-feels so good!” You whimper, starting to grind helplessly on Eddie’s finger.

Steve’s eyes switch over to Eddie’s, who is already watching him. He grins, eyes switching from the metal-head’s eyes to his lips before licking his own. Both men are pressed against you as they lean in, their lips connecting as you lay in a true sandwich. Wet sounds of their kisses are loud in the room, and from their body language it gets heated fast as Eddie moans behind you, his fingers not resting for a second.

They’re fast and relentless, a heat in your pussy too hot, too much as you’re pushed over the edge like being pushed over a cliff. It hits you hard as you restlessly wither in-between them. Steve’s mouth moves from Eddie’s straight to yours, muffling the moans that leave your mouth.

The loss is sudden as Eddie removes his fingers to pull your skirt down your ass. “You want me to tell Stevie what I heard, or you wanna tell him?”

Your lips freeze against Steve’s, eyes opening, gulping as you back away from him.

“Ooh, I wanna know, what’d you hear, Eds?” Steve asks, getting the hint when Eddie helps move you on to your back.

“Well, from what I could tell she was picturing us watching her play with herself, begging for us to touch her, begging for our cocks, begging to cum…”

Shit, he did hear everything.

“Shit, when was this, honey?”

You bite on your pointer finger nervously as Eddie tugs on your thighs, giggles spilling from your mouth. “Wednesday.”

Steve shakes his head, unbuttoning his jeans as he grins at you, Eddie settling himself between your legs. “Oh, you greedy girl.”

Eddie finishes pulling your skirt down your legs, tossing it over his shoulder as he asks, “Why?”

“Oh, she didn’t tell you?” Steve asks, cockily grinning at Eddie as he pulls down his boxers, his cock springing free. “Yeah, she took my cock in the back of Family Video that day, didn’t ya, darlin’?”

Eddie quirks his eyebrow, staring up at you from in-between your legs, grinning intensely. “Oh, you are greedy aren’t ya? Maybe such a greedy girl doesn’t get her wildest fantasies coming true, hmm?”

He’s bluffing, but in your post-orgasm haze you can’t tell at all, you're just desperate for them. You protest it loudly, humming several no’s in a row.

“I dunno, maybe you can watch for tonight and we’ll let you join in another time, hmm?” Eddie taunts you, grabbing Steve’s cock and stroking it, Steve’s moan from final, sweet, relief filling the room.

You’re protesting more, resting on your forearms as you’re hypnotized by the way Eddie’s eyes are locked onto Steve’s. Okay, watching them isn’t all that terrible, but you’re already naked.

Eddie leans in, eyes still trained on Steve as he wraps his mouth around the head of Steve’s cock. You’re hypnotized by it, their constant eye contact creating an energy that is palpable. Eddie’s head tilts back, his tongue that he likes to show off so much at school lingering on Steve’s mushroom tip, reveling in the pearl of precum.

He kisses it, twisting his head to you. “Enjoying the show, sweetheart?”

You nod, grinning manically. “Very much.”

“Maybe we can take pity on her, hey, Eds?” Steve asks, also looking at you.

“Yeah, she can watch another time.” Eddie mumbles, pulling away from Steve to lean in back between your legs. “For now, I need to bury my nose in this sweet little cunt.”

That’s the only warning you get before Eddie’s long tongue slides itself against your wet folds, a hot, wet stripe sending shivers up your spine. You can’t help the whine that leaves your throat, desperate and all too happy to accept it.

Steve saunters over to your mouth, stroking himself as he observes your face. “Think you can be a good girl and take this cock down your throat?” You nod, reaching for him pathetically. You guide his cock to your mouth, the large head pushing into your mouth. His length fills your mouth, pushing right to the back of your throat. “Oh, that’s a good girl.”

A hum leaves your mouth around him, somehow dividing your attention between Steve’s cock in your mouth and Eddie’s tongue on your pussy.

Speaking of Eddie, his tongue has been slowly working, barely putting an ounce of pressure, focused on gathering up any arousal you feed him. His fingers are harsh against your thighs, the friction nearly burning as he grips you tightly. “Fuck, you taste…” he pauses, gasping and greedy, “so sweet.”

Your mouth is busy, too busy to tell Eddie how much he just needs to touch you harder, already. Your hips do it for you, grinding up as a silent question. Simultaneously, your hands move to Steve’s base, playing with his balls. Your mouth makes a wet plop, suddenly in the mood to have them up against your face. Your greedy tongue pokes out to lick at the patched hair that covers them, gasping at the sweaty musk they radiate.

Steve buckles, swearing loudly as his hand lands roughly next to your face. “Oh, my gooood, baby.”

As a reaction, Eddie digs in further, his tongue pushing into you, deliciously long and vibrating into you as he hums. The stench of sweat and your dribble fills your nose, your face slobbered and wet. Eddie places his thumb on your clit, rubbing in small circles as the more you give him, the more he takes.

He knows the smell of pussy, and your smell has driven him completely insane, like a pheromone that overwhelms any logic he once held and replaces it with you.

You gasp, taking Steve’s cock back in your mouth, the tip hitting the back of your throat. Steve’s hand curls into your hair, his thumb swaying against your cheek. You can barely focus on it, the overstimulation making that oh-so-funny feeling take over once more, swelling in your stomach.

“You gonna cum again, honey?” Steve asks, his hips moving slowly, yet picking up at an unprecedented rate. You nod around him, his cock hitting and forming a beautiful swell in your cheek, moaning around him. “Gonna fill this pretty little mouth, then we’ll pay attention to Eds over there, hmm? Bet he needs some help, hmm?”

“Might cum from her taste alone, honestly,” Eddie mumbles, working his tongue even faster, even more.

That single sentence does it for you, mouth tightening around Steve as you spill onto Eddie’s tongue, legs tightening around his ears. Steve feels as you moan around him, every part of you tensing, your mouth specifically tightening and pulling sticky ropes that jump down your throat.

It becomes too much, overflowing your mouth and drooling down your chin. Eddie kisses your thigh, lapping up the arousal that spilled to your thighs. Steve pulls out, watching with hooded and hazy eyes as your mouth stays open, tongue poking out covered in him, smiling as when his eyes drift to your throat gulping as he flows down your throat.

“Did I hear you say it was my turn?” Eddie asks, head poking out from between your legs. “Does that mean I get to feel this tight little pussy wrapped around my cock?”

Steve chuckles, his hand still wrapped in your hair. “If I’ve already had a turn, guess it only seems fair.” His thumb swipes across your chin, gathering the excess cum that gathered.

Out of nowhere Eddie pounces, grabbing Steve’s wrist and lapping the sticky substance with his tongue, making a show of it. Well, Eddie is nothing if not a performer.

Steve seems to think his turn is over, turning to the mess of clothes on the floor. “Stevie,” you whine, sitting up. Your legs feel like jelly, grabbing at the shirt on Eddie right next to you. How is Eddie still fully dressed? “Do you have lube?”

“You don’t need lube, sweets, you're soaked.”

You giggle, shaking your head. “Not what I meant, Ed.” You look back to Steve. “Hey, stop getting dressed! You got lube, right?”

“Uh…yes.” Steve startles, hands on his hips with his hips, eyebrows furrowed.

How have they not picked up on it yet? “Seriously?” You ask, switching between their confused glances. “Remember how Eddie said you’d make every fantasy come true?” They nod, you move onto your knees, undoing Eddie’s belt, and button quickly. “Well, when I pictured this, I pictured every hole being filled.”

Usually, a sentence like this would make you shy, embarrassingly so. However, the collective stare the two men give you is mind numbingly arousing.

“Shit,” Eddie mutters, sharing a bewildered look with Steve. “Well, go get the damn lube, Steve!”

Steve chuckles, moseying to the bedside table and grabbing a small bottle.

Your hands, frozen on Eddie’s half undone jeans, finally start moving again, pulling down his jeans and underpants. His cock springs out, the head an angry red. You lean forward, extending your legs backward as you lean forward to accept Eddie in the back of your throat.

Steve comes from behind him, lifting the loose black shirt he wears over his head, sprinkling kisses along Eddie’s skin.

Eddie groans, lifting his head up. “Fuck, ok, get up, need to feel that pussy right now.”

You smirk, getting off Eddie with a pop, standing up on weak legs. Eddie pulls you right against him, wrapping your lips in a sweet kiss. His tongue wastes no time to reach out to touch yours, connecting wonderfully. Eddie turns the two of you around, kicking off his jeans and stumbling over them. He falls backward onto the bed, you falling onto him and giggling like a madman.

A hand wraps around your cheeks, squishing them comically and pulling your face upward. “Kiss me, honey.”

You grin, locking lips with Steve as your body hitches up toward him. A pair of hands plant you back down, bare pussy connecting with Eddie’s gorgeous cock. The sensation makes you whine, thighs tensing around Eddies. Your hips grind helplessly, hoping it pushes him in. “Patience, sweets.”

You whine impatiently, petulantly groaning against Steve’s lips. You part from him, staring down at Eddie. “Stop teasing me, and—” your sentence cuts short, Eddie grinning in satisfaction as he shuts you up. A hushed swear leaves your throat, elongated and stuttered on the sh in shit.

Your impatience is the size of a teaspoon, hips rutting down to take more of him quicker, even though he’s at a size where you know you should take your time. “Take your time,” Eddie tuts, wrapping his hand in your hair.

“I can’t.” You whine, trying to pull him in more.

Impossibly, you manage to take in Eddie’s full length faster than you know you should. It’s still not fast enough.

A second pair of hands land on your ass, grabbing at the apples of your cheeks with harsh nails digging into the soft skin. Eddie’s hands are on your hips, fingertips under the edge of Steve’s. A cold, thick liquid lands where it needs to, a finger pushes it in, a mighty pressure added to the mix.

You whine, bucking into them and grinding on Eddie’s cock simultaneously. A mix of sounds ring out, Eddie moaning, Steve chuckling, you breathlessly gasping. “Fuck.”

Steve adds another finger, twisting and playing, watching how both your holes spasm together, how Eddie’s cock starts to move for you when your hips are jerking too much to really do anything.

Eddie gasps into your ear, groaning and border-line whimpering. “F-fuck, feel this tight fucking pussy…Jesus, Harrington, you planned on keeping this to yourself?”

Steve doesn’t answer right away, inserting a third finger and grinning at your high-pitched reaction. “With how good it feels, can you fucking blame me?”

“How many times you pictured fucking me, sweets? Good as you thought it’d be?” Eddie asks, voice guttural.

“S-s-s-so much better,” you stutter, whining in the crook of his neck.

Over your shoulder, Steve winks at Eddie, and it gives Eddie the warning to pause his movements to allow Steve to enter. The pressure of the head against the hole is so good. “Fuck,” you whimper, gasping desperately.

If there’s anything you’re willing to admit, it’s that you never knew you could feel this good, this full, it’s a shame it took this long, really. The stupid part is, Steve isn’t even halfway in. Your jaw drops, hands tensing and curling and toes twitching, so many little muscles moving instantaneously.

“You okay, sweets?” Eddie asks, whispering sweetly as your gasping grows in both depth and volume. You frantically nod, the sweat fierce and intense.

“More.” You beg, the only word that can possibly make sense to you.

However small, however faint, Steve heard the plea and pushed in more. Your jaw drops, leaning onto Eddie’s bare chest with your elbows and staring at Eddie’s darkened, brown eyes. He’s pretty, too pretty.

You adjust, and yeah, lube definitely needs to be used in this bullshit, it makes it feel so much better. “More,” you whimper, twisting your body to look back at Steve to see his reaction as he pushes in one last time.

The awkward twist of the body is worth it to see how his jaw drops and eyes close, followed by his head falling back in bliss. “Fuck, both your tight little holes are so good, honey.”

“What a good girl you are, love, god you take cock so well,” Eddie compliments you, whispering sweet nothings into your ear.

Steve’s strong hand sways across your ass, caressing it fiercely. “Like she was made to, isn’t it,” he adds, hunching over your build to kiss the bare skin.

Your toes are curled, your whole-body tense, eyes closed as you lie in the sandwich that contains the three of you. Good. God, it’s good. The goodness that it is starts to trail down your cheeks, trailing off your chin. “Good,” you whimper, trying to look at both of them at once. “G-good. Move. Move,” you act restlessly, hands moving without a destination in mind, hips bucking anxiously with no such success.

They work in tandem, their hips synchronously moving together, both rolling their hips perfectly. Steve twists his arm around your torso, extending as he wraps his hand around your neck, fingers beautifully spread, choking the little air you have out of your lungs. Eddie stares up at your face in awe, holding your hips fiercely while his hips buck up.

Steve’s hand awkwardly spiders up your jaw, letting go of your neck to hook a thumb in your mouth and rest his fingers on your chin.

As a reflex, you start to suck on it. “What a pretty slut we have, hey, Stevie?” Eddie asks, admiring your pretty mouth wrapped around Steve’s thumb.

“Thirsting over her little holes being filled, taking it so well, fucking right, she is.” Steve agrees. He yanks his thumb out, using the same hand to lightly slap your ass.

You moan, loud and stuttered, and guttural at the sting of pain that just adds more to the pleasure. “Fuck!” Steve chuckles doing it again, harsher this time.

Eddie’s arms wrap around you, pulling your tits against his chest. He pulls you in for a kiss, dirty, and filled with spit. Steve slaps another time, harder than the others, you yell into Eddie’s mouth as a direct response. Your lips stutter off Eddie, whining desperately at the marvel.

“Whore.” You whine out, desperate.

“Oh, she wants to be called a whore, does she? Well she certainly earned it, didn’t she?” Eddie mocks, voice only a little bit strained. Eddie surges forward, slapping your ass harshly, igniting a yelp from you from the unexpected sting. “Sorry, Stevie, I wanted in on the fun.”

Steve grunts out a moan, “Of course, after all, our whore loves it, doesn’t she?”

They start to move faster, Eddie’s hips more jagged, Steve’s hips in a rolling pattern, both cocks fucking you in a way that is simply too good to be true.

That seemed to be the common theme for the night, good. While fantastic, amazing, wonderful, beautiful, are much better synonyms, good is the only word simple enough to reach your brain. Maybe the stream of tears trailing down your face are stealing the strong words from your vocabulary, maybe it’s the cocky look that sits on both their faces. Maybe it’s the wandering hands.

“Gonna cum.”

“Oh, make a mess for us, sweetheart.” Eddie commands, planting wet lips all along your jaw, neck, shoulder, anywhere he can reach.

Steve slips his hand around your thigh, placing two fingers on your clit. “Wanna feel this tight little hole as you cum, yeah? Gonna see our baby make another fucking mess.”

The pleasure is overwhelming, consuming every nerve you have. Gasps leave your throat, high pitched and too much. “Cum all over me, baby.”

A feeling you’ve never had, a high you’ve never reached, comes into play, forcing you to push something you didn’t know you could. “Oh, I’m gonna—”

A gush overwhelms the heavy breaths that are coming from both Eddie and Steve. Your vision is flooded with stars, writhing in their collective hold.

It takes you a minute to recover from it, both men’s hips slowly bucking in, slowly hips rolling and swaying. You still look like you need time when you choke out, “Fuck me! Fill me up, please, please, please?”

“Of course, whatever the pretty girl wants.” Steve mutters, hands gripping onto your hips as he fucks into you, matching the relentless pace Eddie was already at.

“Jus’ like that, jus’ like that~”

“Oh fuck, keep begging like that, honey.” Steve encourages you, grabbing harshly against your scalp.

“You better be as close as I am, Harrington, or this will be embarrassing.” Eddie warns, only half joking with how desperate his moans sounded.

“Fill her up with me?”

“Thought you’d never ask,” Eddie answers, grinning manically. “J-j-jesus christ!”

The symphony of moans as they fill you up in both holes is music to your ears, something you never thought you’d hear. You do your best to memorize every note, every consonant, every vowel, to commit it to memory.

The world freezes as three sets of lungs attempt to catch their breath. Hands gracing over any skin they can touch for a gentle caress. Caresses lead into kisses on skin, wet and comforting in the best way.

You can’t tell how much time passes as the three of you fall over into a three way spoon, cocks still keeping you good and full.

“Did so good, honey.” Steve praises, petting your hair and skin.

“Good girl, such a good girl for us.” Eddie adds, unable to help his hand fluttering over to Steve’s hair, as well.

Your gasps turn from whimpers to hums, accepting every whisper of appraisal with an overly satisfied grin sitting on your face. They pull themselves out eventually, you moan at the loss as your spaghetti limbs sprawl on the bed. “Gonna grab you some water, honey,” Steve whispers, planting a kiss in your hair.

“You need a bath, sweetheart? I know for a fact it fits the three of us down the hall.” Eddie asks right after him, yanking a pair of his jeans on.

You nod, head feeling heavy on your neck.

Eddie scoops you up in his arms, carrying you down the hall. As the tub fills with hot, soapy water, Steve comes back up the steps with a cold glass of water to the bathroom. “Drink up.”

In Steve’s corner tub, you sit on Eddie’s lap, arms wrapped around him absentmindedly as Steve climbs in across the two of you. They spend their time washing your body, the hot water, and bubbles soothing and gentle as ever. It feels so good, so nice, it hurts to think it will end soon.

Your hormones must’ve been wild, because the tears fall down your face as you start to think about how badly you don’t want this to end. They’re worried, asking what’s wrong as they worriedly reach one another’s eyes. “’M selfish.”

“Why you selfish, sweets?” Eddie asks, tilting your chin up to him.

“Cause…cause I don’t want this to end…having both of you...it’s too good.”

Eddie and Steve share a glance, the both of them knew from the start it wasn’t just a one-time thing. “Who said this was going to end?” Attempting to reach your eyes with his.

“What?” You ask, a beautiful flicker of hope in you.

Eddie’s arms tighten around you, hand reaching in to kiss your cheek. “It’s nowhere near over, baby.”

“You’re too good for us to let you go, honey.”

“Really?” You ask, now a tad skeptical. “You’re going to let me be selfish enough to have both of you?”

“Please.” Steve chuckles, eyebrow furrowing at the crash down the stairs. “If anything, we’re the selfish ones, honey.”

Selfish.

On a regular day, it’s hard not to feel completely selfish. But when there’s two enticing and captivating voices telling you that’s not possible, you forget the word even exists.

Thank you so much for reading! I love to read comments and replies and tags and as always reblogging is the best way to support fic writers on tumblr

taglist: @pinkcowracing @yourthebrokengirl @skrzydlak @thirddeadlysin @sammararaven @bebe07011 @prettylovley @josephquinnschesthair @forget-you-morelike-fuck-you @names-were-taken @oddussy420

#eddie munson #steve harrington #steddie #steddie x reader #steve harrington x eddie munson x reader #steddie x reader smut #steve harrington x reader #eddie munson x reader #steddie x you #steddie x y/n

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simplymelnaie-blog · 3 months ago

Text

Risk //Benny cross // Part 2

The glow from the scattered neon lights and streetlights lit the sidewalks as you made your way to the bar, your heels making the familiar click on the concrete. The night air was refreshing and you felt a since of calm wash over you. You'd been stressed about the date all week and now that it was over with you could relax.

You didn't mind that it was dark, as you often worked the closing shift at the diner. In the summer, you would usually take the opportunity to walk home, that is unless one of the guys would get word and conveniently ride past and offer a ride. Of course you would take it, but only to avoid an argument with your uncle. Despite being twenty-three Johnny was still protective to a fault. You knew he meant well, but it sometimes felt suffocating.

After Gail drove off, leaving you standing in front of the restaurant Ray greeted you like a perfect gentleman. He held the door open for you, pulled your chair out and even ordered the food.

He talked a lot about his family and his schooling. He had recently graduated from Havard with a degree in business, just like his brother and father before him.

His father was well known businessman in Chicago and decided to raise his kids outside of the city, settling here in the sleepy town many years ago. By the time the food had come you had learned that when he was in town, he would hang around the country club or golf.

You cringed as you continued to walk, thinking back to when had asked you the first real question all night.

"Anyways, what's your family like Maggie?"

You nearly choked on your food.

"How much time do you have?" You joked, laughing slightly and then stifling it when you noticed he wasn't laughing. You swallowed the bite and took a sip of your wine.

"Well" You breathed, nervously playing with the hem of your dress under the table. "I never knew my father, not really, he left when I was little"

"My mother raised me on her own," Ray nodded quietly, intently listening so you continued, "But she died when I was around 15 so I moved in with my uncle and his wife"

You decided many years ago, that this version was much easier to tell. It was the short and simple. Nothing too hard to digest.

"Oh" He said quietly. And when you looked over at him he was staring at you with wide eyes, blank look on his face.

"I'm sorry," You laughed awkwardly, picking up your glass and taking another sip, "I didn't mean to-"

"No, I'm sorry I didn't know" He interrupted, reaching out and grabbing your hand that was sitting on the tablecloth. It was comforting gesture, but it took you by surprise.

"Oh please, no that was so long ago," You sighed, taking your necklace between the fingers of your free hand and moving it back and forth on the chain, "Enough about me, what was it you said your father did again?"

When the two of you walked out of the restaurant the sun was down and the streetlights were lighting the sidewalks. Ray held your hand while the two of you walked to his car and even offered to drive you home, but you lied and told him you were meeting a friend down the street for a late movie.

"I'd like to do this again" He said, pulling your hand closer to him and leaning forward to kiss you.

You didn't mind, in fact you were hoping he would kiss you. You were worried about halfway through the dinner that he didn't like you after all, especially after the sudden trauma dumping.

"I would like that"

You smiled to yourself you turned the block, feeling the ghost of his lips on yours. It made you giddy to think that a guy with such class would be interested in you.

"Hey there baby"

You were brought out your thoughts as you passed by an alley. A bald man stepped out into the light of the streetlight, holding a brown sack with some sort of liquor in it. You ignored him and kept walking, cursing yourself for making eye contest with him in the first place.

At this time of night there was always drunks hanging around the alleys or out front of the closed stores. You knew better than to acknowledge it.

In the distance, the Stoplight Bar sign was glowing bright above the door and an assortment of bikes were parked out front and along the side.

"What’s a pretty girl like you doing out here all alone?”

You could hear the voice behind you and the footsteps that followed, the man was close behind. You quickened your pace slightly as to not be obvious and tightened your grip on your purse. You kept your eyes trained on the sign as it got closer. The sound of heels along the empty street matched your heart thumping hard in your chest.

"Hey bitch, I'm talkin' to ya"

You tried to ignore the panic that grew in your chest. You were used to being cat-called occasionally or men getting too friendly, you were a woman after all. Those were easy to ignore, but not when you were alone in the dark and the man was hot on your heels.

You were close enough to the bar now to see a handful of guys out by the bikes smoking, you couldn't tell who they were. But you felt an ease seeing the familiar Vandals logo on the leathers and smelling the smoke.

You had just felt the ghost of the man's fingers grabbing for your arm as you reached for the door and hurried inside.

The bar was busy as always on a Friday night. There was a haze of smoke that made the low light seem to glow. Your pace never changed, as you made a beeline for the back of the bar, pushing through the crowd of bodies and finally coming into view of your uncle.

Johnny had a specific table near the back of the bar where he could be found every night. Usually, Brucie and Cal could be found sitting with him while the other guys played pool or socialized.

Benny was playing pool when he noticed you walking in. He couldn't miss that yellow dress anywhere. He clocked your panicked look and quick steps toward the back, he also clocked the bald guy walking in after you, hot on your heels. He couldn't ignore the way the guy kept his eyes on you as he walked to the bar and took a seat on the stool.

Benny took a long drag of his cigarette before setting his stick down.

"Where ya been?" Johnny sat up in his chair when he saw you. Cockroach, Cal and Brucie were sitting at the table, smoking and nursing their beers.

Your throat was completely dry and you reached out and grabbed a beer from the table, taking a quick drink. You tried to steady your breathing and heart rate.

Just as you were about to speak, a hand came up and touched your side, you nearly jumped out of your skin. It was Corky who showed himself to you with a lopsided tipsy smile, “We barely recognized you"

Johnny was standing up from his seat now, coming over and standing in front of you. “What’s wrong?”

You hid slightly beside Corky as you glanced back and scanned the room, looking to see if the man had followed you in.

"I was walking, and this guy started following me, tried to grab me on my way in here."

"What guy? Is he in here?”

There was a bald guy at the bar, sipping a beer and looking around toward the back. You knew it was him but hesitated for a minute to say anything. You hated fights and you knew that’s how this would end. The thought was pushed to the back of your mind as you thought how if he got the chance outside, he would not have spared you.

"The bald guy at the bar" You say quickly, and Johnny makes a motion with his head to the guys still sitting. They all stand up and start to disappear into the crowd, leaving you alone. You took a seat in Johnnys chair against the wall and took a breath, face in your hands.

Back at the bar, while you were talking with Johnny, Benny had made his way over and leaned up against the counter, elbows resting against the sticky wood. He stared at the bald guy, unabashedly, until the guy finally looked over at him. "You lookin' for someone?"

"Just having a drink man" He said, taking a sip from his beer and scanning the room again. It was clear who he was looking for. When the guy looked back at Benny and saw he was still staring at him, he got a hard look on his face, "You got a problem kid?"

"Yeah, I do" Benny took another drag of his cigarette before reaching over and dropping it in the guys full beer bottle. The guy stood up abruptly at the blatant disrespect and cocked his arm back. Benny was grabbing a beer bottle to the right of him and bringing it down on the guys head before he ever had a chance to swing. The empty glass shattered upon impact.

The commotion caught everyone's attention and even though they weren't sure the context of the fight they cheered and hollered. The guy collected himself faster than Benny would've thought and jumped up, managing to land a hard punch on Bennys mouth.

Everyone who knew Benny knew that he loved fights. This sucker never stood a chance once Benny got that look in his eye and lunged at him.

"Enough" Johnnys voice bellowed above the music. Benny stopped immediately, standing up straight with the guys shirt balled up in his fist and his other hand cocked back, mid punch. "Cockroach, Corky, get him out of here"

The two followed suit, grabbing the guy and hauling him away all but throwing him out of the bar doors. Benny wiped at his mouth and saw the blood smear on the back on his hand. A smile grew across his face as he made eye contact with Johnny.

"You're fuckin' crazy kid" Johnny chuckled, throwing his arm over Bennys shoulder and guiding him to the back to the table, boots crunching on the broken glass.

The bar came back to life as soon as Johnny and Benny were walking away, most people in the bar were used to brawls breaking out. The room filled with loud voices and the sound of the billiard balls smacking each other on the pool table in the corner.

You still had your head resting in your hands when you heard the bar resume, you knew whatever they did was done. When you did look up you couldn’t help but roll your eyes. Johnny and Benny were chuckling about something and when they got to the table you could see blood dripping from Bennys lip. It was surely split open, or at least it was bleeding enough to be. When Benny saw her staring, he gave a lopsided bloody smile.

You immediately pulled the chair out beside you and started gathering some of the napkins from the table, "Sit down"

Johnny laughed, dropping his arm and muttering something about getting him a drink, before heading back to the bar. Benny did as he was told, coming around the table and swiftly turning the chair to sit backwards on it. He straddled it, crossing his arms on the back of the chair and leaning toward you.

You huffed, taking one of the napkins and dabbing at his bottom lip, he had no reaction so you continued.

"You okay?" He asked after a minute of watching you silently, resting his chin on his folded arms. He saw a slight pout come across your lips.

"You're the one bleeding" You said simply, moving to a clean part of the napkin and dabbing the blood again. You could feel his eyes staring at you, combing over your expression so you sighed and answered honestly, "I'm fine"

"I saw you come in with him following you” He said after you moved the napkin away from his lips again.

"Typical Benny," You sighed, scooting your chair a little closer to him and held the napkin to his bottom lip again, "Swing first, ask questions never"

Benny wanted to say that he didn't need to ask questions when he saw you upset, but instead kept his mouth shut. It was a fact that both of you had known at this point.

You sometimes found it infuriating and even had a couple of times when you thought life would be easier if you hated Benny Cross but it was impossible. Especially since you had been mesmerized by him ever since you met him.

"You're gonna have a swollen lip" You said after a moment, pulling the napkin away and dabbing his lip a couple more times, satisfied when the bleeding was slowing. You tossed the bloody napkins on the table and crossed your arms across your chest and leaning back against the chair with a huff.

Benny didn't care. He would've just let it bleed but he knew if he didn't let you check it out, you would’ve been more pissed. At this point in your life you were used to cleaning up his injuries from fights or wrecks.

He once showed up to your house at 2 am with a knife wound to his side from a bar fight that got ugly. You had no idea what to do but he refused to go to the hospital. The guys joked you should become a nurse with the experience you had under your belt at this point.

He was still staring at you when Johnny brought back an arm full of beers and dropped them down on the table before sitting on the other side. He saw your arms crossed and the sour expression on your face, "What's your problem?"

"I don't like all the fightin'" You said simply as you picked up the beer and took a swig, deciding to finally look Benny in the eyes as you sat it back down on the table.

It was an annoyed, accusatory look, but you couldn't hold it for long, not when Benny smirked at you. “You know I like to get punched"

You uncrossed your arms and leaned forward toward Benny grabbing a handful of his messy blonde locks and shaking it softly, "Well maybe I should start punching you then, get it out of your system"

"You're probably the only one in town that could get away with it" Wahoo said suddenly joining the conversation and sitting down next to Johnny at the table, followed by Corky and Cockroach.

"You look different" Cockroach said, standing beside the table with his cigarette hanging from his lips.

Corky nodded, bumping him with his shoulder and drunkenly pointing his finger out at you. "I was just thinkin' that man"

You rolled your eyes, taking a look at the men around you, scoffing, "Would ya lay off? Can't a girl wear a nice dress or do something different with her hair every once in a while?"

"Ohhhhh" Corky and Wahoo had their hands up in fake surrender. Teasing you was one of their favorite pastimes. "Miss Margaret has an attitude tonight fellas"

You despised being called Margaret but you allowed the guys a free pass every now and then. It was typically reserved for Johnny and Betty, the only parental figures you had left.

"Maybe if you boys had yourself a lady, you wouldn't be so shocked"

This made the table erupt with laughter and you took it as a win, grabbing your beer again and taking another sip proudly. The group hung around, talking for a while before the guys started to disperse throughout the bar.

"I don't want you walkin' around down here at dark no more" Johnny said suddenly, taking a drag of his cigarette, "not unless you got someone with ya"

You had her elbows propped up on the table and was resting your chin in the palm of your hand absentmindedly swirling the beer left in your bottle. You thought for a minute, “I can’t give up my night shift at the diner, that’s when I make the best tips”

Benny was still sitting backward on the chair, looking down at his cigarette as he flicked the ashes into the glass tray. His tan arms flexing when he moved.

"Well," Johnny took a sip of his beer and looked off toward the juke box, "I'll figure it out"

"It’s fine, nothing happened and I know th-"

"What would you've done if you were 3 or 4 blocks from the bar?" Johnny said a little bit louder, clearly growing agitated at the thought and leaning up on the table, "What if the guys aren't around? You’re just like your mother, never thinkin’ about these things”

You knew he was going to pull that card, it was his most famous line when something went wrong in your life. You were going to respond, feeling liquid courage from the beer but when you opened your mouth, Benny's gruff voice was replacing it.

"Let's go play some pool"

He had stood up from his chair and was standing up beside you, looking down at you. You took at him, then back at Johnny. He took another drink and wiped at his mouth. It was clear he had been drinking all night and there was no point in fighting with him.

Benny waits for you to stand and grab your purse before leading the way to pool table in the corner by the front door.

"You didn't have to do that" You say once Benny stops. There was currently an intense game going on and by the looks of it, the table wasn’t going to be free for some time.

You follow Benny as he makes his way to the wall and leans against it. The two of you stare at colored pool balls on the green material.

"You shouldn't fight with him" He said simply looking over at you cooly, his arms crossed over his chest, tattoos and biceps on full display, "Doesn't do any good"

"You always take his side" You sighed, the skin of your arm brushing his as you scooted closer to him watching as one of the players made a hit and satisfying crack of the balls hitting rang out.

Benny shook his head and chuckled at your accusation. He glanced over at you. "He's right it's not safe to be walkin' around by yourself"

"I'm not a teenager anymore, he can't just tell me what I can and cannot do" You complain, having to talk louder with the juke box next to where the table was.

Benny listened as he always did even when it was about Johnny. A lot of the times he was the middleman between you two. It was the role he had taken on not long after you’d met. He could always see where you were both coming from, tried to stay neutral as much as possible.

There was a mirror hanging on the wall opposite of the one you were leaned on. It was dirty and old, but it was clear enough to make out the stark difference between you and Benny.

Benny with wearing his black cut off shirt and grease stained jeans. His hands still had stains on them from earlier in the shop. You thought about how you could see where the guys were coming from now with their comments. Your dress was vibrant in the dark bar and completely different from your usually attire.

"How was your date?" He asked, instead of continuing the conversation about Johnny.

You cursed under her breath and turned to where you could stare directly at him, propping your right shoulder against the wall you were sharing. You brought your fingers to your necklace, grabbing the pendant and moving it side to side on the chain absentmindedly, "I didn't go on a date"

Benny gave you look, looking you up and down before looking back at the pool table, "I can still tell when you're lying"

"So what?" You said suddenly, scoffing and dropping the necklace. "Maybe I did"

Benny looked down and laughed, amused by your defensive reaction. You pushed yourself off the wall, moving to stand in front of him and put your hands on your hips.

"And how was it?" Benny asked again, trying his best to hide his amusement.

You bit at the inside of your cheek, scanning his face, trying to read his expression. "It was nice."

"It was nice" Benny echoed back at you, adjusting his back on the wall and smirking at you.

"Yeah, it was real nice" You added, crossing your arms over your chest to mirror his stance.

"Nice guy huh?" Benny asked, causally.

"A real gentleman"

"Oh really" Benny said, raising his eyebrows with an expression of fake impressed, "and then he let you walk downtown in the dark?"

You could've said that you lied to him about how far you’d be walking, or that you were embarrassed to have him drop you off at a biker bar. But instead, you looked down at the sticky floor, taking the tip of your pretty white heel and tapping it against his dirty biker boots.

Benny thought he might have really pissed you off but after a minute you looked at him with your big blue eyes and cracked a smile, dimples appearing, "You're such an ass"

He surveyed the room behind you and when he saw a drunk guy stumbling by, he reached out and pulled you closer to him in quick motion.

You barely noticed, too busy yawning and looking up at the clock on the wall. It was nearly midnight and you felt the events of the day piling up and thought about how exhausted you were.

Your voice comes out quiet and he has to lean in to hear over the music, "You feel like giving me a ride home?"

"Sure" he replies, his voice easy and relaxed.

The summer night air was cool and crisp, a refreshing change from the smoky atmosphere inside the bar. The sky was clear, with a smattering of stars visible in the blackness. You took a deep breath, savoring the fresh air as you approached Benny's motorcycle, which was parked right outside the bar's front doors.

He easily slides onto the bike seat and kicks the engine to life with a smooth, experienced movement. The bike rumbles underneath him as he shifts his weight and puts the kickstand up with the heel of his boots.

You places a hand on his shoulder and about to lift yourself up and over the seat but stop suddenly, letting out a giggle, "This should be interesting in a dress"

"I won't look"

Your arms snake around his waist once your fully sat on the seat behind him. The bike takes off down the street, the wind rushes all around. The streetlights pass overhead in a bright blur, and you can't help but close your eyes, letting the cool air and the rumble of the engine wash over you. You lean against Benny's back, feeling the firm muscles of his torso against your cheek as you rest your head against him, hair flying wildly in the night air.

You’d ridden on the back of all the guys bikes over the years but felt the most comfortable with Benny, despite his reputation of recklessness. You knew when you were on the back of his bike that he wouldn't try anything crazy. It was a good way of keeping him out of trouble, sitting on the back of that bike.

The ride comes to an end, and Benny parks the bike in front of your house. He leaves the engine idling and keeps it steady, allowing you to slide off the back seat. As you climb off the bike, the dress rides up slightly, revealing a brief flash of skin but he keeps his word and still doesn't look until you come towards the front of the bike.

"You be careful" You warn, digging through the purse for your keys. When you finally fish them out of the bag and look at Benny you see he’s staring at you.

“You know I hate that” You say simply, reaching out and pushing at his shoulder.

"Go on, I'm not leaving until you're inside," He says, a smile playing on his lips. You make a note that when he smiles a faint line of blood appears from the split in his lip.

You nod and start walking up the porch and towards the front door. He waits until you’re inside and the light by the window comes on before he drives off. From inside you hear his bike's engine fading into the distance as he disappears into the night.

#benny cross #the bikeriders #austin butler #fanfic

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am-i-the-asshole-official · 1 year ago

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‼️ aita for looking out for a friend?

(all 17, pronouns provided for everyone included other than me)

so I have a relatively small friend group, including people who I'll call T (they/them, my best friend), G (he/him, the friend the title is referring to), and B (she/her, we don't get along). B and I have been on our high school theater team for 4-ish years together, right from the first show post-quarantine to (hopefully) our last senior show in April next year. Last year, my friends T and G joined for a murder mystery show and G LOVED it. we performed it, went into summer, and came back for our senior year. Now, it's important to note that B, T, and I are also on our school's robotics team and off season events typically fall around the same day of theater competitions (dont ask why there's theatr competitions, we mainly do them for fun). B has already said that theater is more important to her than robotics, so our theater director decided to do a two person show.

Our director had already said she wanted B and G to play the parts in the show, but we all asked for an audition anyway. Auditions come around, all four of us audition. We actually talked about doing a different show in our senior meeting a week before that had 5 roles, but everyone agreed that the two person show would be better. B decided to bring up a year old issue we had where I was venting about only getting minor supporting roles where I either die or spend half the show off stahe. I had said in that conversation that before roles were casted, I wanted B's roles. It was the biggest role in the show with no time off stage and I felt like I was at a point i could handle it, but B got the role and it was fine! I was chilling with my yelling role. Well, B heard this and interpreted it as me saying I could do her role better and stormed out of class after yelling at me about it.

This went unresolved for a YEAR because everytime I tried to talk about it she'd either yell at me or change the topic. And now she was using it as a petty argument to show that I'd be upset if I didn't get a role. This isn't even the worst thing that's happened between us, but let's get back to the aita.

So, as of the time I'm submitting this it's only the first week of rehearsals. B and G are both almost off book, which is impressive for G because this is only his second show. He's absolutely amazing at his role but has a habit of getting the idea of his lines and paraphrasing them (if that makes sense? like if that line is "it'll only be a second, let me check." he'll say "let me look ill only be a second"), but beyond that he's REALLY good at making you feel the proper emotion already. The Main issue with him already is he's missed two days of rehearsal, which wouldn't be bad if we weren't so late starting. He missed one day for a sport meet and one day for his sisters birthday, which was understandable to everyone other than B.

B lives, eats, and BREATHES theater at this point and if you don't take it as seriously as she does, she'll try to get you kicked off the team. Since G missed two days, B thought he wasn't taking it seriously enough and decided to tell our director. G was absolutely devastated, he was already misses an event that'd get him really good contacts for the field he wants to go into because B asked the director to make all of the rehearsals mandatory BECAUSE he wanted to do the event. He came to T and I to talk about it and I decided to go to rehearsal that night to warn the director B was trying to get G kicked off. B's full reasoning for trying to kick him off was that he wasn't prioritizing rehearsal and hadn't memorized his lines yet (again, first week).

Rehearsal went absolutely amazing, they were both almost completely off book for one of the longest scenes and did it so soso SO WELL. Once rehearsal ended after 3 hours and B left the room, I went to go tell the director. The director immediately shut me down and told me if B had something to say I don't have to warn her. G and I left trying to wrap our heads around what to do. I didn't want him to be kicked off and deal with the shame of not feeling good enough and he felt insulted that someone he thought was his friend would go through so many hoops just to pretty much sabotage a hobby of his. We agreed that if the director went through with kicking him off we wouldn't go down without a fight.

But, that was that, and I got home and joined a call with some other friends to decompress from how stressful the entire situation was. I would've been completely de-stressed if it weren't for the fact B texted me an hour after rehearsal ended with just "what happened between us?" Apparently, our director had told her that I was trying to warn her that B was gonna say something. I realized that B still thinks we're on good standing, friends even, when I absolutely do not.

I don't know how to go about telling her that any thread of friendship between was severed a long time ago, but I think me trying to protect G and keep him on the team was the final straw for her. I can't tell if I'm just blinded by my dislike of her or if I really fucked up in this situation.

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

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lucystark12 · 4 months ago

Text

i very very rarely listen to running up that hill but i am right now and it's just like holy shit YOU HAD TO BE THERE (weird reflection post that i just randomly started writing and couldn't stop for some reason about my depression lol that was supposed to be cute and lovey about my love for stranger things but ended up being really somber)

i didn't immediately watch season 4 when it came out on may 27th, because friday may 27th was the day that i came back from a week long class trip to the deep depths of northern washington (hell on earth, no mans land, if you will) and since my parents were out of town for my mom's 50th birthday, i was going straight to my best friend's house to stay over for the weekend. that i did. my best friend everly, whom i was staying with, always falls asleep really early, so at some point in the early hours of may 28th, probably around 1 am, i pulled out my phone and starting watching stranger things. i had spent the entire spring rewatching after all.

i got to where chrissy got possessed and immediately had to turn it off because i was in seventh grade and the bone cracking thing scared me to death (this was before i watched GOT for the first time, my tolerance for gore was not as high as it is now)

such began the first of many times where i'd neglect watching my favorite show for no reason. i did it with house of the dragon season 2 as well. so, a few days later i left everly's house and my grandma came to stay at my house with me while my parents were finishing out the rest of their trip.

at this point, the whole internet was already talking about running up that hill. it was that sunday when i decided i had to watch the show. who the fuck was i kidding? i loved stranger things. problem was, my grandma is and will always be the worst tv hog in the history of the world, so with a shitty disaster movie playing in the background, i put in one airpod and finally started watching stranger things season four.

this was a particularly rainy spring for portland, something that literally scarred me at the time because i was nearing the end of the worst depressive episode of my entire life, and the sun not being able to peek out of the trees like it had in late may last summer and every summer before that was something so insignificant yet something that really was sending me off the edge. i didn't realize how far off the edge i already was at the time. my other best friend had just started taking medication for her depression, which manifested very differently in ways that mine didn't. she was mad. she was resentful. between the few moments that she was the same laughing, loving girl i'd always known, she hated me and our other friends and hated herself more. my cousin likewise had depression so bad he couldn't get out of bed. he hadn't been to school in three months. i wasn't like that. i thought i was happy comparatively. i was diagnosed with OCD the year before and thought that was an explanation. it took getting a new therapist and unpacking my behavior back then to understand what was really happening. i never cried. when i did, it was violent. it came in bursts that lasted all afternoon. i started and i didn't stop until i fell asleep. i threw things, i refused to talk to anybody. i was failing math, which i've never done before. i couldn't understand a thing. i didn't even care to try. i hated myself. the only thing i ate was a bowl of craisins at school every day because i couldn't physically force myself to eat. i thought i was just tired even though i got ten hours of sleep every day. i was always exhausted. my therapist couldn't diagnose me because after years of being taught i had to be perfect, i refused to tell even her that there was something wrong. i thought i was stupid, i thought i was ugly, i thought i was worthless. i thought i was just experiencing what it's like to be twelve years old.

so, another rainy and overly misty sunday afternoon passed me by as i reached the ending of the fourth episode, and finally, the fated song that i'd been hearing all over tiktok and didn't quite understand yet started playing out of max's walkman. i watched the entire scene with my grandma barking questions at me about why i was tearing up.

running up that hill was my most played song of 2022, just ahead of africa by toto.

now i'm not going to say that stranger things brought me out of said depressive episode, because it didn't. the four months ahead of me were four of the hardest of my life still to this day, just as the six before them had already been. but i've grown a lot since then, and two years later when i was in spain alone, sick and crying, experiencing a little week long bout of similar feelings to the ones i felt when i first watched season four, the show weirdly managed to find me again.

the week before i had left to study abroad in spain i had learned that i got a B+ in math instead of an A- in math because my teacher wouldn't round up my 89.9%. it might seem trivial especially because a B+ is incredible process from the algebra i had nearly failed for the second time in the row the year before, but sometimes things like that can be enough to cause somebody to fall back into old habits and feelings. estranged from everybody and everything i'd turned into coping mechanisms for hard times like these when i was literally half the world away, i didn't know what to do. so, when i was in my dorm with food poisoning from a salad i'd eaten the night before, i decided to press on the byler analysis video that had popped up in my youtube feed. such began what i've been calling my "stranger things renaissance"- a second stranger things phase that's been going on since late june.

not to sound overly bylerish, but i've been seeing a lot of parallels between this summer and the summer season four came out. for reasons out of my control, i've been forced to spend a lot of time alone. this summer when i've started feeling lonely, i've taught myself that rather than overthink, to channel it into something else like writing, or doing something that will calm me down. now when i'm home alone and haven't seen a friend in a few days, i'm not sad anymore. i think "well damn" and then i move on with my night. i'm no longer depressed. with the help of my new therapist, i've gotten really close to growing out of my OCD. i no longer have to pray every night. i don't wake up in a cold sweat if i go to bed at 10:31 instead of a "perfect number" like 10:30 or 10:35. i rarely lock my bedroom door anymore. and no, it's not perfect yet. i'm not "cured"- i still have my crying episodes. i still have moments, even though they're few and far between now, where i feel the same way i did back when i was twelve.

but i'm moving on. things have shifted in my life. i've grown up and this show has with me. i started watching it on halloween of 2019 when i was in fifth grade and my friends and i did the "goodbye mike" trend in my basement. i watched the first three episodes that night and finished it for the first time during covid. it was with me through that hard time back in the day, and for some strange (haha) reason, it's with me now, and will probably continue to be with me until the show ends, because like as typically happens when i fall back into obsession with something i liked when i was a little younger, (the mcu, harry potter which remanifested in the marauders) it becomes more than a phase, but a part of me in some weird way.

stranger things may have its flaws and it might not end the way i wanted it to, but for the rest of my life it will be special to me regardless. i'm finally for the first time in my life older than the characters. i was seven when season one came out, eight when season two, ten during season three, 12-13 and season four, and will be 16 in season five.

so thanks, stranger things, for helping me, and thanks even more for showing her that there's nothing wrong with the many different aspects of her that she'd been led to believe were wrong. as corny as it sounds, she couldn't have done it without you 🫶

(say hi to baby lucy, because it's always more fun with pictures, and because depression can happen to anybody no matter what they might look or act like on the surface)

rip 2022 lucy, you would have loved the byler sunset pictures that you somehow would have found a way to relate to reddie and your best friend that you were highkey in love with. you also would have loved mike wheeler if i could explain who he really is to you because said in an EARLY analytical essay that "All I really gained from season four though was that I absolutely hate older Mike and that I wish he would’ve died instead of Max." in the same essay you say you wish you could throw mike of a cliff. oh the irony. (please laugh)

ps: if you ever find yourself feeling anything like what i described in this post, know that it gets better even if it seems like that's what everybody says and it seems like it never will. there were times back then when i didn't even know if i'd make it to the age i am right now, and now i'm at one of the happiest points ive ever been in my life. know that even if we've never talked before, i love you and i believe in you. my blog is always a safe place if anybody out there ever needs anybody to talk to.

#stranger things #depression #depression awareness #thank u duffer brothers u've reached ur target audience #the target audience is me #mike wheeler i am you if you were a girl

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melancholy-of-nadia · 1 year ago

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La La Lost You (m) (teaser) | cyj

title: La La Lost You (m) << one-shot prequel to love u lately >> pairing: choi yeonjun x f. reader feat. bits of yoongi x f. reader, namjoon x f. reader, jimin x f. reader rating/genre: m (18+) ; angst , fluff, smut ; fake dating au; post-high school au, lowkey tatbilb au summary: choi yeonjun was simply just your academic rival, competing for honors at graduation during your senior year. however, when one of your (distant) friends' brothers is getting married, your 3 guy best friends all have dates to the event except you. in order not to feel like a loser, you decide to call up the only other tolerable male you know: Yeonjun, to be your fake date. what will happen when a childish fake date scheme actually ends up turning into your first real relationship lasting an entire summer. it may ultimately.. not end well note: i KNOW i have yet to finish Love U Lately, but i wanted to present this prequel idea to you guys!! i know many of y'all may not be a txt moa, but this one shot will definitely add a lot more insight on previous events and character insight to other bts characters in LUL that don't get much of a spotlight note 2: you do not have to read LUL to understand this fic. honestly might be better if you haven't read it! it will heavily focused on the mentioned previous relationship reader had with yeonjun before starting college and well as the perspectives of yoonminjoon and their attitudes towards it as they were still struggling with their romantic feelings for reader warnings: language, sexual innuendo mentions, maybe some smut, underage drinking, yeonjun has a band, soobin appearance, jungkook has a small crush on reader, halsey shows up!, yoonminjoon being jealous and overprotective, typical things that happen in a summer romance, bonfire party, eventual breakup smut warnings: tba drop date: spring 2024 word count: 15k (projected)

"Look, Choi, I need you to-"

"Need me? Sounds kinda erotic." The taller boy chuckles, and your face scowls, turning a heavy shade of red.

"Huh? You're gross! As if I would EVER do anything trashy with you!" You cross your arms, feeling impatient. Jimin should be here any minute from his last class across campus so you can both go home together. This isn't gonna work, and you don't have any more time for this. "You know what, never mind. I don't even know why I bothered to think of asking you. I should've asked Mark instead." You turn around, deciding to walk away from the situation. You'll take the L! You'll go to Seokjin's dumb brother's wedding by yourself like the loser you are while everyone else has dates.

"Hey, wait!" Yeonjun pulls your arm toward him, making you turn back around. "Alright. Fine, princess, I'm listening. What is it?" He looks at you, finally with sincerity in his eyes.

God, I guess if he actually wants to listen, then you'll say it. What could go wrong?

You tiptoe and lean in close to his ear, catching Yeonjun slightly off guard. "Okay. I need you to be my fake date to my friend's brother's wedding."

Yeonjun blinks repeated, processing the request. After realizing he was frozen, he immediately goes back to his usual expression and smirks. "Well, well, well. Looks like someone couldn't resist the charm of Choi Yeonjun after all."

You roll your eyes, "Hell no. Please, I'd rather dance with a cactus."

He raises an eyebrow, "You sure about that? Cacti can be quite prickly, you know."

You huff, "Just shut up and play along. I need you to act like a decent human being for one evening. You owe me anyways., remember?"

Yeonjun smirks again, his eyes sparkling with mischief. "Decent human being? That's a stretch," he grins, clearly enjoying this. "But sure, why not? It's not every day someone gets to be in the presence of greatness."

You scoff, shaking your head, "Greatness? Please. Just don't embarrass me, okay?"

Yeonjun's grin widens, "No promises, sweetheart. But I'll do my best. After all, I owe you."

"Yeah, yeah. Just be ready to suffer through a night of pretending to like me," you retort with a wry smile.

"Oh, the sacrifices I make for you," he replies, sarcasm dripping from every word.

As you walk away, hoping to meet jimin halfway (where the hell is he?) you can't help but mutter under your breath, "This is gonna be a disaster."

Yeonjun's laughter follows you from a very short distance, "Oh, sweetheart, you have no idea."

➸ let me know what you think OR join the taglist! ➸ love u lately series masterlist

#yeonjun x reader #yeonjun #yeonjun smut #txt smut #yoonminjoon #love u lately #prequel #bts fic #txt fic #kpop smut #college au #tatbilb #la la lost you #txt imagines #txt hard hours #choi yeonjun x reader #yoonminjoon fic

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madsciencestudent · 4 months ago

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So, I recently learned that Summerween is catching on as a thing, and as a certified spooky gal and Gravity Falls fan I fully enjoy this.

So here's some thoughts I have on this and may start to implement if/when I get enough energy for it...

Summerween should and can be celebrated at any time during the summer. I get random slumps throughout the summer and know others do too, so it can be something to help with them.

Aesthetics should be different than those for Halloween. Halloween is about the transition from season of living and growing to season of harvest and dying. Summerween should have more focus on the living and bounty available in the summer, in my opinion. So like, more plant life, flowers, fruits that are in season for the summer, natural colors and pastels, stuff like that.

Bouncing off that, I'd say we should not put too much focus on pumpkins, but we can still have Jack'o'Lanterns since it's just using left over harvest as lanterns with faces carved in them for protection. Watermelons and pineapples obviously work well as a replacement!

Spiders probably can work for both Summerween and Halloween given they're actually alive and active in the summer with more species around, as well as being a good, go to symbol of death and decay given how abandoned houses and human built structures end up covered in them/cob webs. But other insects like moths and cicadas work just as well if not more so with Summerween given they're actually active in the season. (We should probably move those guys out of Halloween iconography, to be fair...)

A lot of witchy aesthetics could work with Summerween better than Halloween too. Like the swamp witch or forest witch aesthetics would work better given they seem to draw off more vibrant and living plant life than what's around in the Fall. Plus the fortune teller aesthetics work for any time of year, so those can be mixed in too.

More things I think work for excellent Summerween iconography are things like Bigfoot, Jackolopes, or other local cryptids. Less traditional big media monsters, more local entities that can be seen any time of year and are the kind you'd be worried about running into the woods when you were a kid.

Ghost stories are again any every time of year thing so throw in a bunch of those that you would swap around the fire at camp or at sleepovers!

Pastel colored skeletons just scream Summerween to me. I don't know why.

Songs and movies that somehow became associated with Halloween but don't really have anything to do with Halloween can/should be moved to Summerween instead! Songs like I Always Feel Like Somebody's Watching Me, Season of the Witch, Don't Fear the Reaper, Grim Grinning Ghosts (technically just about ghosts, not Halloween), even Thriller are good examples of some of these. Likewise, movies like Little Shop of Horrors, Beetlejuice, Coraline (takes place in Pacific Northwest summer before school I think), ParaNorman (late summer or early fall I think), Jaws, Nope, Evil Dead are just some examples I can think of.

Of course, things related to Gravity Falls can be mixed in based on how you feel. Same with the traditional Halloween iconography and aesthetics. But the above is mostly my thoughts on it, and may help me if/when I decide to throw a Summerween party.

#thoughts on Summerween #Summerween #Summerween vs Halloween; similar but different in my mind

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alrightbuckaroo · 2 years ago

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This Is What Falling In Love Feels Like: A collection of prompt fills for the 100 Ways To Say I Love list

your love is sweet like sugar - A prompt fill for "It's two sugars, right?"

TK wakes up to Carlos making breakfast. It's his first time waking up in Carlos' apartment, but he hopes it's not the last.

what is a promise if not your hand in mine? | tumblr - A prompt fill for "Can I hold your hand?"

TK might not wake up, and Carlos can’t even hold his hand. TK might not wake up, and all Carlos wants to do is hold his hand.

a shoulder to sigh on - A prompt fill for "I did the dishes"

Carlos has always carried it well; but that doesn't mean he has to carry it alone.

the music stopped but we went on dancing - A prompt fill for "Can I have this dance?"

Carlos has waited and waited for a day like today; but of course, something had to go oh so wrong.

you can count on me; i'll be there - A prompt fill for "I'll help you study"

Carlos is dealing with the stress of trying to become detective; TK becomes his biggest cheerleader any way that he can.

will you bee mine? - A prompt fill for "It reminded me of you"

Carlos is teaching his third grade class when he gets stung by a bee; now it seems he has no choice but to finally visit the new school nurse, TK Strand.

you drive me wild - A prompt fill for "Drive safely"

TK has to ask Carlos if he can borrow the thing most precious to him. His car.

our love’s a protective poison | tumblr - A prompt fill for "Call me if you need anything"

Gwyneth Morgan loves her son; that is an uncontested fact. Tyler Kennedy Stand is his father’s son; that is also, an uncontested fact. Gwyn loves her son, even though he has a tendency to act just like his father. Gwyn loves her son, even when he has a tendency to act just like his father.

i love you; i want us both to eat well - A prompt fill for "I don't mind"

Carlos finds out TK's not all that great at cooking.

you've made me so very happy - A prompt fill for "You didn't have to ask"

TK doesn't want to go to his high school reunion and Carlos kind of just wants to know why

the rest are listed under the cut

home is wherever i'm with you | tumblr - A prompt fill for "Call me when you get home"

Carlos says, “I love you” in so many different ways, and TK loves each and every one of them.

when life gives you lemons - A prompt fill for "I wan in the neighborhood"

TK is helping Jonah sell lemonade during a hot summer day. They're not having any luck with customers until Carlos decides to walk by.

this side of paradise - A prompt fill for "You might like this"

TK and Carlos can't pick decide on a place for their honeymoon and Carlos might be the reason as to why.

all my blood for the sweetness of his laugh | tumblr - A prompt fill for "I like your laugh"

TK laughs and it sounds genuine and true. Carlos can’t help but smile, he feels like the sun has cracked open inside him. He feels a warmth inside himself that’s hot to the touch.

hooked on you - A prompt fill for "Close your eyes, hold out your hands"

Carlos is hiding something from TK and that secret might just include crochet hooks.

i'd wait a million years for you - A prompt fill "Sorry I'm late"

TK loves love; he just don't know if love loves him back. Then he meets Carlos Reyes.

a little taste of love - A prompt fill for "I saved you a piece"

TK Strand, a florist working for the renowned flower shop, Bloom With a View, can't take his eyes off of Carlos Reyes, a baker working at Cake My Day, the bakery across the street.

as cute as a button | tumblr - A prompt fill for "I hope you like it"

Andrea is taking TK down memory lane and they come across a koala named Kique, who happens to be missing one button eye.

we're a batch made in heaven | tumblr - A prompt fill for "Try Some"

Carlos misses TK; so he does what he always does. Makes cookies.

all's fair in love and lizards | tumblr - A prompt fill for "Just because"

Love comes in many shapes and forms; and sometimes, that form is a stuffed novelty toy at a carnival game

it was love at first sight | tumblr - A prompt fill for "Wow"

Carlos thinks love at first sight is nonsensical. Then he locks eyes with TK Strand.

#if this pops up on your feed and the rest are NOT listed under a cut please don't be afraid to let me know tumblr is finicky #i'm not trying to overload your dash i promise lmao #series: this is what falling in love feels like #my writing #tk strand #carlos reyes #tarlos #tarlos fic #911 lone star

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in-the-undercroft · 2 years ago

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I wrote an OT3 first kiss scene! There's two, well, three, parts to this fic. The first chunk is in Hogsmeade. I'm not sure if I want to post it. This is the Undercroft part and while you don't have any build up and requires summarizing, it's alright to read on it's own and I'd much rather do it like that.

Basically: late Nov/early Dec of 6th year. Fig had left his estate to witch!MC. The trio spent summer there picking up the pieces there of Ranrok, Solomon, their broken relationship. By the end, they're very close and clearly all have feelings for each other. But then school started and MC started worrying that she just imagined the romance or that they'll find someone better or decide to be a conventional couple. And she stews in it instead of talking it out.

Everyone knows something is off during a Hogsmeade trip with Poppy, Natty, and Leander. She slips off at the 3 Broomsticks and Sirona gently assures her the boys loves her and won't give a crap about conventions and my favorite quote is "When just the three of you come in, they have eyes for only you. I have to wait half a minute for any of you to even notice that I approached your table because the world ceases to exist when it’s just you three. It’s very magical, the love that binds you three."

The boys find them upstairs and she runs into the safety of Sebastian's arms and begs them to take her to the safety of the Undercroft and away from the noise of society and that's where we pick up.

As soon as they were out of the carriage, they were racing through the castle to the Defense Against the Dark Arts Tower and the Undercroft entrance. And then-then all that existed was just them.

They had transfigured some boxes in the corner into blankets and pillows a while back. Ominis stretched out on the blanket, reclined against the wall and she crawled up into his arms and rested her head on his chest, listening to his heartbeat.

She was so focused on him and the sounds of Sebastian coming up next to them that her first sob took her by surprise.

“We’ve got you. Shhh, we’re safe now,” Ominis said and they walked her through her anxious tears. Eventually, though, she quieted.

“What’s going on? Is it Fig? Or a Keeper thing?” Sebastian asked gently. A pang ran through her at Fig’s name, and Ominis held her a bit tighter as if he knew.

“No, I just… ever since September I’ve been overthinking us three. It was so simple in August, but now that we’re around other people, I’m… terrified… you see me for who I am. And how amazing Natty and Poppy and everyone else are. And there’s someone so much better for you guys. Or you guys will decide to be a conventional couple. Or what if it was all in my mind? But I’m so in love with you both that losing you both would kill me but I don’t want to guilt you into staying with me,” She said.

“No,” Sebastian said loudly. No? “That’s not true, none of it is true. That’s a ton of rubbish. We’re not thinking of anyone else but each other and you. We don’t want anything but the three of us.”

“What Sebastian means is… With my blindness, I hear a lot better and a lot more than you do. And that was the single stupidest thing I have ever heard,” Ominis said and she giggled. “Beloved, you are the half of my heart Sebastian is not, the half of Sebastian’s heart I am not. There is no one better because there is no one else. I don’t want to ever think about anyone else ever again after last summer. You are brave and smart and caring and cheerful and everything. I’m in love with you. And I’m in love with Sebastian. Had I known there was any anxiety in your mind, I would be telling you daily. I thought we made it entirely clear that we were romantically a trio before we left home.”

“We did but then life got busy and we reentered society where the conventions are couples and I’ve done horrible things and you like Poppy and Sebastian likes Natty and they’re so much better than me-”

“I’ve done horrible things,” Ominis said, “Sebastian has done the worst out of all of us. You killed a dark wizard who was actively shooting the killing curse at you and a goblin that was going to destroy the entire school. Your actions were the only ones with justifications. You are the one who should be looking at better options. But you’re not.”

“Of course not. How could I? That’s rubbish-”

“Then how, my beloved, could you think we would ever dream to? Why would I even think of it when everything I never knew I wanted is on this blanket with me?” Ominis said. She went to answer then closed her mouth.

“A part of me dies,” Sebastian said and she looked over at him, “Everytime you tell me goodnight. I know I’ll see you in the morning, but I die every night you leave. Every Tuesday when you two go off to Arithmancy. When I leave Ominis to go off to Beasts class. I’m not whole if I don’t have you two like this. I would’ve gone crazy without you two. I love you both so much. Fuck if society doesn’t deem us conventional. All I want are you two. Emily, I’m in love with you. If I knew you were doubting, much less stewing in anxiety… I would’ve been doing everything differently.”

“You two…” She murmured.

“Other than Ominis, no one is even close to being on your level. The girls are friends but you are… so much more. You are… Half of everything,” Sebastian said.

“You two are my everything. My best friends, my safety. I always want to be right here because here with you is the home I always dreamed of. The idea the one or both of you didn’t feel that way terrified me. But I trust you both,” She said.

“We told each other in August we loved each other and I knew we were all certain it was romantic. Why didn’t you just tell us?” Ominis asked.

“Because I didn’t want to guilt you two… But you two never changed. It was all in my head,” She said and it was beautiful.

“Yes, my beloved. It was all in your head. We would spend an eternity with you,” Ominis said and she loved him. She loved Sebastian.

“I don’t know how I would live without this now that I’ve had it,” She said and gently traced his face with her fingers. “If just a few months without this kind of emotional intimacy has me an anxious wreck.”

“We’ll work on things for next term,” Sebastian assured. “Because I need it too. I want to kiss you. Both of you. I was going to save asking if I could kiss you both for home but I can’t wait. I love you both.”

“Yes. Sebastian,” Ominis said and Sebastian smiled.

“Em?” He sounded so hopeful. Like a sixteen-year-old boy. This was what they should be worrying about. Not being able to wait to kiss each other.

“Is it even a question?” She asked with a smile and sat up, straddling Ominis’ lap. Ominis smiled, his hands finding her waist to steady her. Sebastian readjusted himself and then leaned forward to kiss her. It was tentative, cautious, his bravado fading for the broken boy he had become.

She loved him so much. His vulnerability, his trust, his love. The way he smiled when he pulled away and she opened her eyes and saw his smile and knew his was the one she had wanted since that first class-and would want until the very last day of her life.

“Sebastian,” She whispered. “Ominis, it feels perfect.”

“I wish I could see you two,” He said.

“She is beautiful,” Sebastian said and with a bit more confidence, kissed her again, and she felt his hands tangle with Ominis’ on her waist. It stayed very chaste-but lasted a bit longer.

“Wow,” She whispered.

“I love you. You are half of my entire world,” He told her and she knew it was the truth. “Ominis.”

He shifted under her, sat up straighter and then Sebastian was swooping in between them to kiss Ominis. Unlike with her, there was no hesitation. There was just confidence that came from five years of friendship. They were gorgeous, kissing. Ominis snaked a hand into Sebastian’s hair, pulling him closer. She heard a gasp.

“Bloody hell, where’d you learn to kiss like that?” Sebastian asked and she giggled.

“Nowhere. I just almost lost you once. I’m not losing this chance,” Ominis said. Sebastian dropped his forehead into his shoulder.

“I’m sorry. I love you,” He whispered.

“I love you. So much. I still remember our first summer together. Sleeping in your twin bed was the first true safety I’ve ever known,” Ominis said.

“I complained all summer long. Too small…” Sebastian said and they laughed at some joke. “I’ll never leave you again.”

This kiss was deep and long, like a promise and a vow. It was their summer in a kiss. She loved watching it. When it was over, Sebastian looked over at her.

“We have an audience. She’s blushing, and so sweet. I’m going to kiss her again if you don’t,” He said and Ominis pushed him away and Sebastian laughed. And then Ominis was staring at her with tenderness and warmth.

“What did you learn from tonight?” He asked.

“That my anxiety was stupid,” She said.

“Wrong,” He said.

“That I never should’ve doubted the feelings we felt over the summer just because other people were around. That you and Sebastian love and need me as much as I love and need you,” She said and he drew closer as she said the correct words and she felt his smile.

“Beloved,” He breathed against her lips and then he was kissing her. It was soft, yet less hesitant than Sebastian’s. When she pulled back, he was grinning and she could no more go a day in her life without Sebastian than him.

“I’d be getting over the two of you my whole life and it terrified me,” She whispered.

“No need to. Please don’t,” Ominis said, “Cause my plan is to never let you go.” She smiled.

“I know,” She said and leaned down to kiss him. He was a good kisser. She knew muggles and some wizards thought kisses should only truly be indulged in after marriage, but when they went home, well, they’d have two weeks.

“What are you thinking about?” Ominis asked.

“Home. What we could do there,” She hummed.

“My plan for the first three days is to take over some room and only part to use the bathroom,” Sebastian said.

“No arguments there,” Ominis said. She made a noise of agreement, everything so much better with the three of them alone. She shifted off of Ominis and giggled at his pout.

They spent hours talking and exchanging kisses and talking more. Sebastian left the Undercroft to go down to the kitchens to get food for a late dinner. She fell asleep tucked into Sebastian’s side, Ominis on his other side. All she had ever wanted was right here.

#Sebastian sallow #ominis gaunt #mc #ot3 #hogwarts legacy fanfic #ominis calling mc beloved is my favorite thing #I need to decide on a petname sebastian uses #there's so much i love here

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brbabcseu · 11 months ago

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ive been taking up the dashboard lately so please!! has anything specific about jesse and aj or mer been on ur mind recently??

I feel like I spend so much time talking about Jesse and AJ so I'm gonna make this a certified Meriwa & AJ-centric post!

Mer is a good relative. Not necessarily a conventionally good PARENT, but you could also argue the same for Jesse. The situation w/ these three is so nuanced but that's besides the point lmao. She curses a lot and thinks her omelets are better than Jesse's. She also thinks it's not a crime to put cheese and bacon into a pancake, they can be savory too "if you open your tiny mind". She hates the PTA moms of Skagway. She's thinking of going back to school. She's so good at being Jesse's friend and so annoyed abt that. She proclaims she's straight edge but gets scolded by AJ for smoking cigarettes. She has a strained relationship with her youngest sister and a relationship she's greatly missing with her oldest sister, who died not long before AJ was born. She loves her little sister Amlliq (pronounced um-sh-k; most just call her Billie) despite their struggles, because family is family. That, family being family, is a little part of the reason she comes back AJ's freshman year of high school.

I've talked a bit about her return but I can't emphasize enough just how much of a catalyst it was for things to start falling like dominoes for AJ. Jesse very gently and very carefully makes him aware of her presence in town, and makes it very clear that he does NOT have to meet her, he has NO obligation to invite her into his life at this point, and whatever AJ needs of him, he'll be right there. AJ is just like ty I appreciate all of that, I don't really wanna meet her but I think I need to hear what she has to say anyway and then decide. He appreciates just how honest she is about why she gave him up, why she's here now, if it's just because it seems "easier" now that he's older. She's basically just like listen I was in my early 20's, I had a lot going on, I still gave your dad a choice, I didn't even know I was pregnant until I went into labor. And AJ's like um okay PAUSE on that last one lmaooo. At the end of it Mer is like "I wouldn't hold it against you if you told me to fuck off. Just figured I'd try reaching out and see if you're open to building some sort of... something."

He doesn't at first, but once things fall apart with Jesse he starts spending a lot of time around her-- in the grand scheme, knowing what he knows, she suddenly becomes the lesser of two evils lol. He does end up enjoying their time together, she's functionally a cool big sister at this early stage of their relationship.

She knows, by the way. Meriwa's known about Jesse for a good long while and it's the other reason she decides to come back. That part gnaws at her; she knows he'd been troubled, but not much more than that. Her continued inaction the longer she knew about this without checking on AJ led to a growing guilt, which kind of paralyzed her further into not checking in, and so the cycle went for several years. Mer's well aware she herself is not perfect, and she has a brain, so the nuance of the Heisenberg chronicles was not lost on her. And then actually meeting AJ, seeing how he turned out, how he and Jesse interact... it was very relieving. At the same time, she doesn't question or judge when AJ needs that space from Jesse to come to grips with everything.

I feel I've already piled on a LOT of information but I wanna touch briefly on their first mother-son trip that I've mentioned before as well!! Summer before sophomore year she bring him to Fairbanks to meet the rest of her family. He has a lot of cool aunts and uncles and cousins, there're two cousins in particular around his age and he really enjoys getting to know them. His family is so big now!! And frankly he needs it, sad as the reality of it is he needs that breathing room from Jesse; the two need time to repair separately before they can come back together. He feels great warmth at having more family to be a part of, but throughout the trip starts to feel dejected and a little jealous over how doting, affectionate, and playful an aunt Meriwa can be to her youngest nieces and nephews. The pendulum of AJ's grandfather clock of angst is never not in motion and it's just frequently swinging back and forth between these two forces in his life: one that used to represent stability but now belies unrest; and one that used to represent the opposite but now hold the promise of something more permanent, but that scares him!! And with his state of disillusionment he's convinced it'll all fall apart at any second.

One day I'll talk more abt the dynamic btwn Jesse, AJ's godmother Delilah, and Meriwa, but that's a whole can of worms loll and would also mean I need to actually Talk abt Delilah, bc I never do for some reason but she's SO important in the AJ Lore

Some lightning round fun facts to tie this up:

She's had a passing interest in journalism and so that's what she's thinking of majoring in when she goes back to school-- Jesse always says WHEN not IF bc he fully believes Mer can do it and she'll absolutely kill it

She's closest with her uncle and her mother :')

AJ and Mer bond over their love for Brand New Eyes by Paramore but disagree on whether Danger Days is MCR's best album

Her pancakes are stellar, both of the sweet and savory variety, but she'll only make chocolate chip pancakes for the former. She refuses to get cc pancakes from diners bc they never put it in the batter and you can't just slather it on top what's even the point--

Mer doesn't put a label on it but she's bisexual, and is definitely sure Jesse is too. She'll lean over to AJ sometimes and be like, "Does he know..?" and AJ's like "Not a clue"

Have a silly aj & mer doodle!!

#mutuals #ask #kylejsugarman #alaska crew #oc aj #oc meriwa #finally got around to this ask JDFSKJHKSD ty for your patience

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strawberrymosaic · 5 months ago

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7/20/2024 5:13pm

Didn't journal for the past 2 days, but I'm back with more little updates!!! On Thursday, I was in my lab from 9-4:30. I actually really enjoy the time I spend in my research lab. It truly feels like I'm not working when I'm there, because I enjoy what I do and I enjoy my colleagues. I haven't posted many specifics about my lab, but it's a molecular biology lab that focuses on studying pediatric brain cancer. I helped with some surgeries & got to practice my suturing techniques. Surgery days are really exciting to me because it feels like the most tangible application of our wet lab work. After I got out of my lab, I had some self growth wins. Despite enjoying my time in the lab, I do still tend to come home exhausted. Most of the summer, I've been coming back from my lab and crawling right into bed. However, some specific tasks I did Thursday morning helped pave the way for me to avoid that post-work crash. Before I left for work, I made sure my bed was made & my desk was tidy. I wanted to make it as easy as possible for me to sit at my desk instead of crashing into my bed. This was very successful because I did end up avoiding my bed! I sat at my desk & got right to work being productive. I made some calls that I had been dreading putting off. I need to get tested for sleep apnea (I'll write more about this later), but insurance has been such a hassle. I finally found a sleep testing center that takes my insurance & set up a consultation appointment! I also called my university's financial aid office to get some questions answered about the upcoming school year. I think I'm actually going to be set to pay my college tuition & housing without too much struggle, so I'm very happy with how that turned out. After those calls, I did scroll social media for a little bit, but not for too long because I had dinner with some friends afterwards. I ate dinner + went to get boba. I had to work a desk shift from 8-10pm. My friends are also employed by the university, so they came with me to my shift. Most of the time the desk shifts are DEAD so we just hung out and talked because there wasn't much for me to do. However, I was quite overstimulated by the end of the night, and lowkey I wished they would just go home so I could sit in silence. I love a good silent moment. After my shift, I had to go pick up the duty phone for the night, because I had an overnight on-call shift. I didn't get to bed until well after midnight because my second duty round doesn't end until then. Getting to bed late on Thursday night, in addition with my sleep problems made it super difficult for me to wake up Friday morning.

For Friday, my friends and I had planned to get lunch and then go to my college town's art fair. I guess they accidentally decided to get lunch at 12:30 without confirming the time for me. I knew we were going to head to the art fair at 2:00pm, so I had just assumed that we'd eat around 1:00 or 1:30. I texted at noon to confirm our lunch plans, and they both were like "oh 12:30!". I had JUST woken up at this point, and I had nothing to wear so I was lowkey freaking out. I also desperately needed to do laundry because the outfit I had planned in my head was dirty. I texted my friends that I'd just meet them later and quickly threw my clothes in the wash. I also got ready as quickly as I could. My friend (I'll call her L), always wears a full face of makeup, has beautiful hair, and always has super cute outfits. She also eats like a bird. I always feel super self-conscious around her, so I felt extra pressured as I got ready. My other friend (I'll call him B) is just a random male coworker I befriended, so I don't really care too much what he thinks. However, he does have a bad habit of commenting on other people's meals. I get a bit self-conscious when eating around him. Because I do get a little skittish when eating around B and L, I secretly hoped they'd just eat without me. However, they decided to just hold off on lunch until I was ready. We ended up eating around 1:10 and then headed to the art fair. The art fair was BEAUTIFUL. I really enjoyed seeing all the booths. I spent a bit too much on this gorgeous ceramic piece, but I justified it with the fact that I was supporting a small business. The art fair had a lot of booths to try free samples. We tried some delicious teas, got to test some new products for the Sharpie brand (and were even featured in a video!), and tested out these unique phone speakers. Around 3:30 we stopped at Panera bread to get some drinks. I ended up buying a sourdough bread bowl, and I ripped off chunks of bread for us all to share. We felt like medieval peasants. We ended up wandering the art fair for a few more hours until we headed back to another part of campus for dinner. I had a desk shift at 6pm, and L and B ended up following me to this shift as well. Once again I was starting to get really overstimulated, and I secretly hoped they would leave lol. I promise that they are good friends, I just also enjoy my quiet time. L has a crush on B, and I have been trying to set them up. After spending all of Thursday and Friday together, they really seem to have some chemistry, so I was quite happy. This also worked out well for me, because they were so interested in each other that I could sit quietly without having to interact much. We ended up playing Fireboy and Watergirl on CoolMathGames for the rest of my shift, and I enjoyed my time a lot. I got home around 10pm, bought two bags of cheese-its and called my family. Then I called my boyfriend (we are long distance right now). We ended up having L join the call so that we could give her advice about her developing relationship with B. After L left the call, I talked to my boyfriend a bit more. At this point I was really exhausted from my day, and instead of going to bed when him and I were done talking, I stayed up for another hour scrolling social media. This was definitely a bad move on my part, because it made it really difficult for me to wake up this morning.

This morning I didn't get up until almost noon. I got dressed & went to get brunch in the dining hall. Then I ended up texting my boyfriend & scrolling social media for like 2 hours. I also sorted a bit of dirty laundry so that I can do it later tonight. Around 2:45pm I started to get really tired, so I took a nap until 3:45. I had another desk shift at 4pm, so after my nap I headed over to the building I needed to be in. I am at my shift now, and not much has happened. I've put my work schedule into my Gcal for the rest of the summer, set up my electricity for my apartment this fall, and checked some emails. It is now 5:45 as I finish typing this, so I've been journaling for quite some time. I've found it very therapeutic to get all my thoughts out, so I don't mind at all that it's taken me so long. After my shift ends tonight, I'm going to try to get some laundry done and then go to bed early. I'll update again either tonight or tomorrow. If anyone has stuck around to read all of this, just know that I think you're amazing and I appreciate you being here. Even if nobody reads this, I find it really helpful to have an 'audience'. Maybe it's somehow related to the concept of ADHD body doubling. The thought of writing to someone really helps me get my thoughts out. Anyways, I'll update later. Byeeee!!

#diary entry #journal #self growth #adhd #anxiety recovery #depression recovery

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foreverpining · 9 months ago

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Backstory (10th Grade Part 1 [I'm sorry there's a lot this year])

So summer came and we spent quite a bit of that together as well. They even went to one of my therapy appointments with me and met my therapist. At this point things were starting to get a little more heated between us. They'd lost their virginity already although I had not. We came really close a couple times that summer at my aunt's house while everyone was busy, in my room when they'd got there but my mom didn't know yet to keep an eye on us. School came again and as always it comes with struggles. None so much as 9th grade brought our friendship tho. We'd sit in the afternoons after school discussing the future how we'd move out and get an apartment together as soon as we could. We even with the ever growing closer act of sexuality discussed possibilities for if a certain surprise were to happen even tho I was on birth control. We spent their birthday on the couch in the living room of my parents house I had made them cookies to take home as a birthday present. Just a few days later he was back over for Halloween but our planned event was cut short by my existential crisis about growing older so we decided instead to go trick or treating one final time. It was the last time I trick or treated and I'd honestly go so far as to say my favorite we wondered through neighborhoods going house to house until it was far too late and everyone was out of candy. They had braces so when we got back to my house to trade candy till their dad got there they ended up giving me pretty much everything they got and left with a left chocolate candies at my insistence. We at least one day together every week that whole year leading up to the big event of 2018 Christmas. The Christmas I'll never forget. We discussed it and both of our families celebrate Christmas on Christmas Eve so we decided we could spend the day together. Now I haven't actually noted this yet but a big barrier of us making it to third base was my mom was a helicopter mom and she was constantly checking in on every few minutes. Well she had agreed to my bestie spending Christmas with us rather far in advance but when the day actually came she ended up being sick. Since she'd already agreed she still let my bestie come over. When they got there the first thing we did was I excited gave them their presents. A T-Shirt from the show The Flash off the CW and a little Iron Man plush, because my bestie really loves comics. Actually side note years ago around this time they made a tumblr and most of what they posted on it was shower thoughts and Batman AUs. Back to the story my bestie didn't really have money to get me anything so they'd written me a note that I actually lost sadly so I can't show you but it was really sweet and gave me like a dollar and some change which I ended up taking to the dollar tree and buying a little teddy bear and told them that would be their gift to me. I let them name it and they named her Aurora. So we were sitting in there after that completely unsupervised and one thing lead to another and we went all the way on that fateful Christmas day. After we finished we cuddled on the couch ate some leftover Christmas foods from my family's celebration the day before. Then their dad got there to pick them up I expressed to them I was really sad for them to leave and since they'd changed into the shirt I'd gifted them they gave me the one they had came to my house wearing that day. I have taken that shirt to psych wards because it feels like it gives this comfort only their energy does. After that the rest of winter break seemed to fly by but something felt off. It felt like my bestie was trying to distance their self from me. I didn't think too much of it cause we would have a class together the next semester of school. Sadly my dear reader I do have to tell you this is where our story takes a dark path for a while, from the other side I will tell you it becomes lighter with time. Sorry have to make pt 2 10th grade was a lot.

#bestie #best friend #first time #10th grade #unrequited love #pining #love

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casspurrjoybell-30 · 11 months ago

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Howling Love - Chapter 5

*Warning Adult Content*

Camryn Summer

I couldn't stop smiling, I genuinely couldn't, talking to Amille had that effect on me.

I could be who ever I wanted when I was around him, he gave me peace, the space for me to feel like I was accepted, that I had no need to pretend, I just was, I wasn't the Alpha's son, the next Alpha in line, that I wasn't inheriting a pack.

He made me feel alright with everything, so in turn I smiled and seeing him flushed and unable to make out or type anything sassy to save himself after that really cute tirade to seem like he was shunning me, it was amusing, true he was embarrassed but it was cute, anyone could admit if they were in my position.

So I made my way to my dad's office, he was working from there today, apparently he had something for me to do other than file, type, take notes in his meetings and actually organize his meetings.

Yes, my dad was grooming me but that wasn't me, I just didn't have the heart to tell him, I liked cars, being oily, wearing oily overalls, that was me, I liked the purr or roar of an engine, I liked that but he'd never understand, things had to be done his way and no other.

Before I turned the block to where his office was I decided to get myself some sugar, don't judge me, I had a sweet tooth, it contributed to my physique but I could care less, I was large, larger than teens my age and some actual grown men but I didn't care, I wasn't the type to dwell on what people wanted my body to be like, I liked myself like this and whoever didn't share the same sentiment, well they had an open do to leave me alone.

The cafe I went to was a usual hang out for me and my friends and on occasion my boyfriend and I but lately, we hadn't even talked and that was during break, he was free, so was I but we barely talked, barely saw each other as if we had just drifted.

I had put the thoughts aside during break and into the start of the new year but now I couldn't ignore it, I needed clarity over where we were, Dean was right, I needed a solution to my complicated relationship.

I couldn't go about flirting and pining over Amille when he was still attached to me, I knew that was wrong and I couldn't do that to that sweet, sassy guy who made my wolf yip in happiness every time I thought about him.

I wouldn't... so one way or the other, I'd need to break things off.

The plan was formulating in my head as I walked into the café, it was slightly busy and buzzing with people but I couldn't miss him, even in a room full of people.

Fate was a really heavy hander and yet something in me felt alright, there he was, my complicated mess of a boyfriend Vinny, sitting with one of our best lacrosse players at school Kami, if only they were just sitting and not showing the world how well they kissed.

I made my way over silently.

"Cam," Vinny gasped as Kami turned to face me like a deer caught in headlights.

"I thought you two broke up," he exclaimed and I smiled.

"We are now," I asserted and turned on my heel to leave.

It hurt, it really hurt, this wasn't the first time he'd done this but I was committed, I was loyal, I wanted him and all he could do was want someone else.

"Camryn wait, it's not what it looks like."

Oh this was good.

"Not from where everyone in that café was seeing it. I'm not stupid enough to believe that classic overused line that you're telling me, it's exactly what it looked like," I growled out and he flinched back.

"He initiated it," he argued and I whipped around narrowing my eyes on him, he wasn't as tall as me but he was tall, green eyes and chestnut hair, darkened, he hated how it made his eyes seem more green.

"No. I know you Vincent, he didn't initiate anything, all throughout last year, school break, starting school, you've been distant, this what we had, it was bound to end because you're never satisfied, you want more and I can't give you more, you want me and you want Kami, Lane, Steph, all of those too and I won't be the guy whose taken your bullshit, we were bound to end and thank the Goddess you brought it on yourself, we are over, done with and I don't want to hear you claiming we aren't wherever you are," I growled out my words before turning around and speed walking into the crowd.

I made my way to my dad's office, thankfully everyone avoided me.

I wasn't in the mood to talk about it, I used the elevator to go up and headed straight for his office. I knocked once.

"Come in Camryn," he answered and I swung the door open.

"What's..." he began but I held up my hand.

"I don't want to talk about it. I'm not going to be your assistant for the day either dad. I'm going to the auto shop. I need to clear my head," I stated and he seemed surprised.

"Uncle Kyra says he'll be here later after he's dropped off his nephew Amille at home," I added and a skeptical look overcame his features.

"Kyra has a nephew?" he questioned and I nodded with a smile.

"Yeah, about yay high, 5'6/57, buzz-cut, vanilla skin with just a tinge of mocha. He started school today. I actually saw him in town today as well. I was surprised too," I explained and he still seemed perplexed.

"What's his surname?" he asked again.

"Uh, Laurent." I said and he gasped.

"Are you sure?"

I nodded and he nodded back.

"It's okay Camryn, you can go, I need to do something out of the office anyway," he suddenly accepted.

I found his behavior suspicious but I'd rather just accept the win.

"Okay, I'm off then," I told him and he nodded.

"Camryn, stay safe," he added and I nodded.

He was abrasive but he cared, I appreciated that about him.

I made my way out of the building, hailed a cab and told him where to go, walking to the auto shop would've taken way too much time and I was drained, turns out going from joyous and giddy to furious then calm and serene took a toll on you mentally and physically.

I just wanted to fix a car, that was my therapy as I processed what had happened in just one day of my life.

It was overwhelming and I needed to get through it without snapping at someone for it. The Auto Shop was actually mine.

I'd saved up a lot of my allowance, fixed a lot of cars at the pack until I bought the space, it had actually been renovated with my mother's help, she actually helped me run the place, it was a garage to fix any damage on cars, we also did upgrades from car seat accessories to base booster speakers, it was a cool job I had to admit, pimping a car.

I walked in through the back and headed to the office, my manager who was actually a pack member who shared my love for cars greeted me.

"Your mom had a meeting at the pack house. I did a restock and stocktake along with our monthly evaluation, it seems the renovation plus the services we now provide boosted business, you did good boss," he commented and I smiled.

"Thanks Kendra," I told him as I placed my stuff on the couch.

"So I'm gonna go down and get some work done, can you order me a pizza or something, if anyone and by anyone I mean Vinny or someone named Kami look for me tell them I'm not here and chase them away with our guard dogs if they refuse to go," I exclaimed and he chuckled.

"Got it boss." he accepted and I nodded gratefully.

The moment I was under the hood of a car everything just went away, I worried about nothing, just focused on my job but somehow the thought of licking him still came to mind and I chuckled to myself.

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reveries-and-radiance · 2 years ago

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Physical abuse TW

No one to talk to about this. So I'm just gonna tell my whole life story here before I decide to do anything drastic.

I grew up with an emotionally and physically abusive mother who financially depended on me in the last few years of my highschool life. I studied hard and got accepted at the only out of district school they'd let me leave to so I could be away from her. I lived with my grandmother and studied while working 2 part time jobs and volunteering up until the pandemic happened. At this point, my mother had come to my grandmother's house and had been living there with us since the winter. By mid-August, I was completely back in a traumatic and controlling environment filled with rage and violence, as my grandmother and mother did not get along. We all fought a lot daily. At this point, I was still volunteering and was helping doing covid related work for my volunteer organization. I started looking for work to get me out of the house and was lucky to find a well paying job. Coupled with my funds I'd gotten from being laid off, I figured I had enough resources to leave after a particularly violent altercation with my mother about me volunteering too late one night (at this point I was 20 years old)

I got all of my things together to leave the following day to stay with my friend and my mother and grandmother assaulted me. I was beaten with a wooden rod, a metal canister and slammed onto the ground and sat on. They even put their arms over my nose and mouth so that I couldn't scream for my friends outside. It was one of the most terrifying moments I've experienced in recent years.

I got out and the following day filed a restraining order and got the rest of my things. Those first few weeks were incredibly difficult. I had a friend who said that he'd move away with me to help with rent costs as he wanted to leave his home too, but he changed his mind.

I found a place to live, moved and worked for a few months until I experienced sexual harrassment and discrimination at my job and then my contract was not renewed. After losing that job, I burned through all my savings, tried to work at other places I wasn't suited for and then eventually got another temporary position. After that job ended, I was completely drained and in a very depressed state as my friends all moved on to do other things with their lives. I was isolated, broke and vulnerable. I couldn't even afford to continue studying so I just stopped taking classes. I lived off of unemployment for almost a year during this time while waiting for my lease to end so I could move away with a friend I reconnected with. When the unemployment was almost up, I got a summer job and worked to save up money for the move. The friend who said they'd move away with me changed their mind and bought themselves an in development condo so that they could become a landlord and rent it out. I was devastated and the plans I'd made fell apart again. By then my current lease was up but I couldn't afford to move into a new place on my own so I decided to rent a room. When I finally found a seemingly decent place in a nice neighbourhood, I thought that everything would be okay.

The landlord at that house was an awful person to me. The house and my room became infested with gnats due to her plants. She brought in other tenants so the house was full of men and I was the only girl. I wasn't even given a key to the door of my room. She used to listen to when I would go into the washroom and timed how long my showers were. The fridge I was allowed to use was a mini-fridge that I had to share between two other people. My food would always go bad and I lost a lot of meals and just eventually stopped eating. I lost a lot of weight over those months. While that was happening, I got a job but was then let go two weeks into my training because they thought my performance was inadequate. I then found another job but I wasn't trained there at all and got berated by clients for my mistakes. By Christmas, I had no money, food and I needed to leave as soon as possible for my safety and health. I broke my lease and moved but they lied about the room needing to be "deep-cleaned" and took my safety deposit. I was able to find another place but have had no luck in getting a job so I've been trying to make money off of art commissions. Every month has been a struggle. I can't move back in with my family, I don't have anywhere else I can go. I have tried over and over again but nothing is working. I own nothing, I have no one and I honestly don't even want to live anymore. Just years and years of misery. I feel like I was pushed to making so many decisions that I thought would help but kept making things worse and worse. I feel like I have no future.

Now, at 22 (23 next month if I make it till then), there is little opportunity for me to do anything anymore. I can't afford to go back to school, I can't find a stable job, I have no assets, no in-demand skills. I live with debilitating mental and physical conditions but can't even get the support I need to survive. I feel like I am a week away from homelessness. The only thing I can do is draw and sing but no one wants that from me. I'm mediocre at best and I'm a nobody. All this to say, I don't want anyone to be angry with me if I decide that I can't do this anymore. I tried to live with the circumstances I was given, but everything's fucked now and I'm tired. I'm tired of going hungry and being alone. I didn't deserve any of this. I didn't do anything to anyone to live this kind of pathetic life. I just wanted to draw comic books and make art. This is everything that's happened to me in the last 5 years. I am at the darkest point in my life and there's no one who wants to help me. I feel like such a waste.

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lazywonderlvnd · 4 years ago

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*hesitantly steps in the box* Umm.. soo.. I was listening to Cruel Summer by Taylor Swift again and that song (is awesome btw if you haven't listened to it already) just gives me such MAJOR drarry vibes .. like -

" And I screamed, 'for whatever it's worth I love you, ain't that the worst thing you ever heard?' He looks up grinning like a devil. "

Like if that's not drarry I'd chomp my pillows. So .. *twiddling thumbs* could you pls write something with that line as a prompt?? Pretty please 🥺🥺🥺❤️❤️❤️ maybe use the song as inspiration.. idk? Whatever you like. ALSO, don't forget I STILL LOVE YOU that ain't changing yet and you haven't seen the last of me! Imma tail after you for eternity and you better take that as the threat it is! *throws love at you* BYE!! ❤️❤️ *vaults outside the box*

my sweetest most loved angel!! thank u so much for this prompt based on a BOP i was obsessed w when the album first came out. it got sm longer than it was meant to be, so it can be found on ao3 as well!! i hope u like it ilysm ❤️❤️❤️❤️

warnings for minor drug use (weed) and implied suicide of a minor character (lucius, extremely vague reference but pls be aware!)

rating: e word count: ~5k

When Pansy asked him how it started, Draco discovered that he didn’t know what to tell her.

Technically, though, it had started at Ernie Macmillan’s party in the beginning of summer, with the cloying scent of Freesias and Freedom Roses (“Imported from the States,” Ernie told Draco pompously, when he asked) and all those string-lights dangling from the cedar pergola, perennial balls of fire inside their clear bubbles like tiny trapped suns. Cheap beer in plastic cups, Marlboro cigarettes, and some stupid Muggle game ... darts.

Technically.

* * *

“Get off me, Potter,” Draco says in a failed whisper. He’s laughing and drunk and fuzzy warm under a sprawling summer’s night sky that looks like black paint. Potter tastes like Guinness every time he kisses him, and his hands are surprisingly soft. In direct opposition to his own command he pulls Potter in by the face and glues their mouths back together ravenously. The alcohol makes him sloppy (he likes it, though — the sloppiness of it) and Potter’s skin is warm where Draco slides his hand under an ugly Muggle band T-shirt to touch.

Around the corner, he can hear music coming from the patio where nearly every single one of their former classmates are gathered, drinking and laughing and getting along famously with a much-needed buffer of five years between them and their Hogwarts days.

Much-needed for himself and Potter as well. Apparently.

He sees him sometimes, at get-togethers like this or around the Ministry, once or twice at a dinner party thrown by a mutual friend. They’re always cordial. He hasn’t insulted Potter to his face in five years.

Except for tonight, when he couldn’t help himself loudly drawing attention to the similarities between Potter’s hair and one of the shrubs in the garden. But they’re kissing now round the side of the house and because of that he’s quite glad for his slip. And it’s their five-year reunion, so. What would it be without some bickering between the two of them?

Potter presses him into the bricks and snogs him breathless, only he keeps grinning and laughing and ruining everything just when Draco starts losing himself in it.

“Quit laughing,” he scolds him. “You’re the worst, Potter. No etiquette at all.”

“That’s rude,” Potter says. His breath wafts across Draco’s mouth. His eyes are excessively green behind their round frames, which have not changed since their school days. The scar is mostly hidden beneath his wild fringe, save for the very bottom where it slashes neatly through a dark eyebrow and touches his eyelid. “I can’t help it, I’m pissed good and proper.”

His hand moves to Draco’s hip and even through the thickness of the alcohol coating his brain like a muffler he feels that touch clear and ripe as daybreak.

“So that’s why you’ve decided to snog me rather than …” He waves a hand vaguely, in lieu of the proper witticism with which he might normally have trounced Potter. “You know. Beat me to a pulp.”

“I only did that one time,” Potter says, grinning. Grinning and moving his thumb in circles on Draco’s hip. “And it was because you were being a twat. And I didn’t beat you to a pulp. You’re so dramatic.”

“Semantics,” Draco says. “I had a bloody nose.”

“And you deserved it.”

“Now who’s being rude?”

Potter kisses him again.

Guinness and Freesias.

* * *

“Macmillan’s party,” he told Pansy. “He kissed me.”

“So that’s where you disappeared to.” She looked smug. Her inch-long nails were sharpened to a point and painted a glossy black, and she drummed them against her cheek, the way a cat flicks its tail. “I’m surprised you kept it from me this whole time.”

“Well,” said Draco, lowering his gaze to his glass of wine and watching it flirt dangerously with the lip as he swirled it. His cheeks felt warm, but he wasn’t embarrassed. “We snuck around.”

Right, maybe a little embarrassed. Mostly conflicted.

“Oh?” For a single syllable the laughter underneath was remarkably transparent.

He looked up, eyebrows lifted. “Yes,” he said a little defensively. “For obvious reasons. At first it was just sex. A lot of it, so he usually came here. Apparently Granger and the Weasel are notorious for popping round his place unexpectedly.”

* * *

He feels opened up all over again every time Potter fucks into him, unhurried and so careful. His hand is hot on Draco’s thigh, both of them sticky with sweat and come. This has to be their third round at least, and Draco’s sluggish brain insists it might actually be four.

An open window lets in the late afternoon air, humid and drowsy and perfumed heavily with flowers (a la Macmillan, Draco planted Freesias and Freedom Roses outside his bedroom window and helped them along to full bloom with some careful magic). Potter’s hair is damp with sweat — from exertion and the relentless heat of July — and Draco slides his fingers into it, tangles them and pulls the way he’s learned Potter likes. If he’s honest, he’s harboured a very secret and very desperate yearning to touch Potter’s hair since he was quite young. He doesn’t know why.

Well, maybe he knows why.

Potter makes a quiet, whimpered noise that curls Draco’s toes. He speeds up his hips, closing in on his orgasm and putting his face in Draco’s neck even though it’s too fucking hot for it.

“Fuck,” Draco whines. He tries to lift his leg higher, wrap it around Potter’s waist to get that perfect angle, but they’re too slick with sweat and he lets out a frustrated noise when it falls back to the bed. “Potter,” he says helplessly, arching into each thrust and shaking with the effort. This third (fourth?) orgasm is building too slowly, sitting there hard and stubborn and heavy in his gut and refusing to be coaxed to completion. He’s dripping with the effort, muscles quivering. “Please — I need —”

But he seems to have figured it out for himself. He scoots forward, lifting Draco’s arse higher off the bed and bending him nearly in half. The angle helps him go deeper and he’s suddenly nudging Draco’s oversensitive prostate every time he fucks back in.

“Right there,” Draco gasps, tensing as this new angle lights a fire under his elusive orgasm. His cock is leaking but he doesn’t have the strength or energy to get a hand around it. Potter’s grunting with the effort of fucking him, sweat dripping down his temples and making his neck and torso gleam. “Right there, god, right there, please, I’m so close —”

Potter braces himself and redoubles his efforts, and it’s like he’s reached inside Draco and sunk his claws into that building storm in his belly because suddenly it’s ripped right out of him in a colossal wave of euphoria that approaches too much, cock spurting untouched between them . Potter keeps moving inside him while he rides it out, and at some point he feels the warm, wet explosion of Potter emptying in him, mumbling incoherent things that include Draco’s name.

They come down together too. Draco is clutching Potter’s arms and trying to catch his breath and Potter is trembling and clutching him back like an anchor in a veritable ocean of sensation.

It’s like this every time.

When Potter drops down onto the bed beside him Draco rolls over and kisses him, long and deep and satisfying, and Potter reciprocates with the kind of intensity that is completely unique to him as a person.

“That one was particularly good,” says Potter, and Draco laughs.

When he feels like moving, he knows that Potter will get up and go to Draco’s kitchen and make tea for both of them, and he won’t need to ask what Draco likes, because he remembered after the first time. They’ll drink it naked in bed as the sun sets on another endless summer day and transforms before their eyes into a humid and pungent summer night, in the midst of which they will fuck at least three more times, and Potter will keep smelling like sweat and bergamot and boy, and Draco will keep feeling starved for him.

And they won’t talk about it.

* * *

“And?” Pansy said.

“And what?”

“You said ‘at first,’” she pointed out, and arched a groomed eyebrow. “When did it turn into more than just sex?”

Draco tamped down on a smile, because that would have been more emotion than he cared to show at the moment. To Pansy or to himself.

He swirled his wine again and took a long sip, stalling. He wanted — needed, really — to talk this out with her, but he was becoming aware of an uncomfortable heaviness in his chest which was suggesting to him that he didn’t want to share everything. Not because he was embarrassed, but, well … it was private. It was between him and Harry.

“There was this one night he came over later than he was supposed to because of work,” Draco said. The memory stirred some emotion. He hadn’t thought of it in a while. “He had this bloody huge takeout bag of Thai food.”

* * *

He sets it down on Draco’s desk, takes out a container, and after toeing off his shoes drops sideways onto Draco’s bed with it and uses chopsticks to shovel in a mouthful of noodles. Draco watches this in awe.

“Want some?” Harry asks once he’s swallowed (small blessings). There’s grease around his mouth. “There’s a million other things in the bag but you have to get it yourself. I’m dead tired.”

Draco thinks of asking what the hell is going on, because they’re supposed to be fucking by now, but something stops him. Harry really does look exhausted but quite content eating his Thai food on Draco’s bed, and he doesn’t have the heart to berate him for it or remind him that they’re fuck buddies, not friends, and that if he’d wanted to eat and lounge about perhaps he should’ve stayed at home.

And the food really does smell good.

He gets up and fishes another container out of the bag that turns out to be some sort of heavenly-smelling marinated beef, which he brings back to the bed. Harry’s rolled onto his back and has the container of noodles balanced on his stomach.

“They thought they found a Horcrux on a raid,” he says. His voice is perfectly casual, but Draco thinks he can see something troubled in his eyes. He has one foot crossed over the other and it’s bouncing anxiously; he doesn’t think Harry’s aware of doing it. “Wasn’t. Obviously.”

“But they needed your expert advice to be sure.”

“Yeah.” Harry looks at him, then his food. “Is that the beef?”

“Yes it is.”

“Good?”

“Haven’t tried it yet.”

He opens the container and chooses a piece, but instead of lifting it to his mouth he follows some crazy impulse and hovers it over Harry’s instead.

“Open, Scarhead,” he says. Harry blinks but does it, and Draco drops it in. He smiles, then chews.

“Brilliant.”

* * *

“We ate it instead of fucking. It was the first time I realised something had shifted.”

“And you let it shift?”

The question gave him pause. He didn’t answer right away, mulling it over. It made it sound as if he’d had a choice, and that wasn’t quite right.

“It already had,” he said finally. “It wasn’t a matter of letting it; by the time I noticed, it had already happened. Otherwise he wouldn’t have come over with the food.”

“But you did let it continue,” said Pansy. She wasn’t antagonising him, nor accusing him of anything. She looked amused, but not in a way that was at his expense. Pansy was both a twat and a fiercely good friend, the combination of which meant she would do nothing more or less than hold up a mirror and force you to look at yourself, gruesome as the experience inevitably wound up being. “Even after you realised he had feelings for you.”

Draco swallowed. He’d not heard it said aloud before now.

“Yes,” he said. “It felt good. Knowing he fancied me.”

* * *

Harry’s shameless in his staring.

He stands in the doorway of the ensuite bathroom and watches Draco like he’s been invited to do so. Draco pretends not to notice, stretched out in a tub full of bubbles facing the opposite way. There’s incense burning, and candles. Harry is completely silent, but Draco could feel those eyes on him from across a crowded hall.

They fucked a few hours ago and fell asleep afterwards. Draco pretended not to think about it, but had actually made the conscious decision to let Harry continue sleeping when he woke up and decided he wanted a bath.

When he can’t take it anymore he opens his eyes and tilts his head back and a little to the side, just enough that he gets Potter in his peripherals.

“Well?” he says.

“Well what?”

“Join me, won’t you?”

Harry snorts. Then there’s a quiver of magic in the air, and a small, utilitarian chair appears out of thin air beside the tub. Harry sits down in it. He’s holding the joint they’d only gotten halfway through earlier.

He’s in his jeans and nothing else, all limbs and sparse chest hair, and when he crosses a leg over the other one, elbow resting on his knee as he hits the joint, Draco feels a bone-deep attraction to him that’s beyond physical.

“May I?” Draco asks. Harry hands it over and Draco inhales deeply before returning it. The humidity of the room mixes with the smoke and the smell of marijuana, pungent and cloying like the flowers.

After a length of silence, Draco says, “Will you read me something?”

“Will I what?”

He takes his wand from the floor and Summons a book from the shelf in his room — one of his poetry collections comes sweeping in through the cracked door and into Harry’s lap. Harry sticks the joint between his lips and starts rifling through it with his glasses all fogged up.

When he starts reading Byron (“I had a dream, which was not all a dream”) Draco smiles and sinks deeper into the hot water and bubbles, letting Harry’s voice lull him into a pleasant stupor.

* * *

“So you led him on,” said Pansy. “Because you liked his attention.”

He stared at her, then let his gaze drop to his wine again. Had he?

“It sounds bad when you say it like that.”

“Well,” she said, smiling wryly, “I’m only saying it as you’ve told it to me. Maybe if it sounds bad, it is bad. Some things are that simple, darling. Unless there’s more to it.”

“Like what?” he said, not looking at her. There was a touch of pouty defiance in his voice he knew Pansy would detect instantly. He heard her sigh.

“What exactly happened yesterday, Draco? You didn’t give me any context.”

“What context do you need?” he muttered. “He told me he loved me.”

* * *

They’ve finished an entire bottle of wine between them. He’s not drunk, but he’s pleasantly buzzed. Harry’s sprawled on his back, T-shirt rucked up just below his navel so Draco can see the dark trail of hair leading below his jeans. There’s something implicitly erotic about the movement of his chest when he breathes, his hands folded behind his head, one leg stretched the length of the bed and the other bent at the knee.

He opens his eyes suddenly and grins when he sees Draco looking at him.

“That wine just made me tired,” he says.

“So go to sleep,” says Draco. He takes a last swig, emptying it, and sets the bottle aside on his night table. He stretches his arms over his head and arches his back, yawning widely, thinking perhaps he’ll give into the tempting allure of sleep as well when Harry says, “I told Hermione about us.”

So he’s not sleeping, then. His stomach clenches hard and a completely irrational sense of panic rises in his throat.

“Us?” he says slowly, sitting up straighter. “What ‘us’?”

Harry looks at him upside-down, then rolls over and rises to his knees. He stares at Draco blankly.

“‘What us?’” he repeats.

“Yes,” says Draco. “What ‘us’?”

“Us,” Harry says. His voice is lower than usual. The word is starting to sound weird and lose meaning. “You and me, Draco.”

“‘You and me?’ Harry, there’s no you and me. We’re just fucking. What do you … what do you mean, you told Granger? Told her what?”

Harry looks … well, he looks fucking crushed. And angry. Draco forces himself not to look away.

“I told her I’d been seeing you,” he says quietly. There’s something … not threatening, but close to it, in his voice.

“Sure,” says Draco. “I see you three times a week, sometimes four. I s’pose if you feel the need to fill Granger in on everything you do with every second of your day —”

“Shut up, Draco,” Harry says. “You know what I meant.”

Draco glares at him. He gets off the bed, slightly lightheaded from the wine, horrified by the emotions welling up inside him right behind the panic, and he points at his bedroom door.

“Get out,” he says.

“Are you serious?”

“Go!” he says loudly, voice rising. “If you’re gonna start turning this into something it definitely is not then get out of my flat, Potter.” As usual the window is open, but it’s the third of September and getting chilly finally and Draco’s Freesias and Freedom Roses started wilting last week. There’s a chilly breeze coming into that room that is utterly barren of the sweet smells of summer he associates with Harry these days. “It’s time we ended this anyway,” he says. “Summer’s over.”

“So?” From his position kneeling on Draco’s bed Harry shouldn’t feel imposing at all, but he does. There’s no sparkle of humour in his eyes, none of the softness Draco’s gotten used to seeing there. He looks like someone who’s realised they’ve been betrayed.

Worse than that. Someone who’s been betrayed and realises they should have seen it coming.

“What the fuck does summer have to do with anything?”

“Ever heard of a summer fling, Potter? We’re not ‘seeing each other’.”

Harry finally gets off the bed. Draco’s stomach clenches again, more painfully this time. He doesn’t feel bad, he tells himself — this is Harry’s fault. His fault for making a big deal out of something easy and fun and, most of all, temporary. For ruining this with feelings.

“That’s not what this was,” Harry says. It’s not an argumentative tone; rather, he sounds disappointed. Devastated, and disappointed. And that look of betrayal, like he’s surprised but not … that surprised.

That hurts.

“This was as real as it gets, Draco,” he says matter-of-factly. “You and I don’t have the capability of doing anything as shallow as a fling.”

“Well, Potter,” says Draco, straining to maintain his level voice, “congratulations, because that is the most disgusting, romanticised, Gryffindorian piece of shit I’ve ever heard.”

“Yeah?” He grabs up his wand from the bedside table and stuffs it into his jeans pocket. “Well here’s another: I love you. You complete fucking prick.”

Draco stares after him as he leaves the room, cowed for the moment. He hears Harry take the Floo powder off his mantle, hears the fire start, and then the sound of Potter disappearing.

And he feels hollow suddenly.

* * *

“And he said it completely out of the blue?”

Draco set his wine aside. He was suddenly feeling too sick to put anything else in his body.

“Sort of,” he said quietly, avoiding her eyes. “He was trying to make something out of nothing. He was just making a point, trying to guilt me, I don’t even think he meant it.”

Pansy said nothing for so long that Draco finally looked up. She had an eyebrow raised.

“Do you really believe that?” she said.

Draco didn’t answer right away. He glanced at the bottle of wine on the table and thought about the way it always tasted a little sweeter on Harry’s lips.

“I don’t know,” he said. “No. But it doesn’t change anything. It was a summer thing, not a … a relationship, for crying out loud. Like I’d date Potter.”

“Why not?”

Draco scoffed. “Why not? Pansy, please. He’s a …”

“A …?”

“He’s an idiot! He’s Potter! He’s …” He couldn’t think of the right word, something bad enough to express the audacity, the gall , for Potter to think even for a second that they could …

“Draco Malfoy,” said Pansy. She was smirking. “You love him too.”

Had he felt sick before? Now he was going to be sick.

“I never would’ve imagined it,” she went on, seeming to take pleasure from his outrage and humiliation. The bint. “Look at you, you’re blushing! Oh my god,” she laughed. And then she stopped laughing, and instead the weight of her own words appeared to descend on her. “Oh my god. You do, don’t you? You are arse over tits for Harry Potter —”

He was up and out of his chair before she’d finished the last word, absurdly, embarrassingly on the verge of tears all of a sudden.

“Draco —”

“I’m glad this can serve as your entertainment for the week, Pansy,” he said. A tear rolled down his cheek — could he be any more histrionic? — and he brushed it away furiously.

“Draco, no —”

“Call Blaise, tell him!” he shouted. “You two can have a good laugh over it —”

“Draco —”

“Poor Draco’s fucked himself over again, what a stupid wanker!”

Pansy got up. He slapped her hand away when she reached for him, but she only came at him again and grabbed it this time when he swatted at her, enfolding it in both of hers. He closed his eyes and hiccoughed and two more tears came.

“Darling, will you please listen to me?” she said softly. It sounded eerily like his mother, which only made him feel young and childish. He tugged his arm away and she let him go, but he didn’t move any farther away. “I am not laughing at you,” she told him. “Blaise might, but that’s because Blaise has a black hole for a heart, Draco, the only emotion he’s ever felt is disdain.” Against his will, Draco chuckled wetly. Pansy smiled and took his hand again, tentatively. He allowed it. “ I think it’s lovely that you have feelings for him. I don’t understand what’s got you so upset, I mean … I know it’s Potter, but we’re not teenagers anymore, right? Who cares?”

Draco exhaled a long sigh.

“He let my father go to Azkaban,” he said softly, looking into her eyes. He saw comprehension dawning. “How can I be with someone who could’ve saved my father’s life and chose not to, Pansy?”

“No one could have saved your father, Draco,” said Pansy gravely. His throat was tight, swollen. He hated that he was hanging on her words, looking for truth in them, wanting to hear something that would make this okay. “He would have done the same thing if they’d let him go back to the manor. It’s not your fault or your mum’s or Potter’s.”

“But —”

“But what?” she cut him off sharply. “Draco, please don’t let your father keep controlling your life from the grave! My god, you deserve happiness, don’t you see that? Even if it’s Potter! In fact, I … I think that could be really good.”

“What, being with Potter?”

“Yes, being with Potter,” she said. “Darling, I say this because I love you: you need to grow a pair of bollocks and start taking control of your own life. I’m not finished!” she added when he opened his mouth to retort. “I understand that it feels like a betrayal of your father, I do, and I’m not saying you can’t have your cherished memories of him, but Draco … you cannot live your life in his shadow, doing things because it’s what he’d want or wouldn’t want. I think that choosing to explore these feelings you have for Potter is the bravest and healthiest thing you could possibly do for yourself.”

He stared at her for a long moment, eyes wet though the tears had stopped falling.

“What if it doesn’t last?” he said finally. “What if next week he realises it was a huge mistake?”

“First of all, I doubt that,” said Pansy with a roll of her eyes that was clearly meant to be teasing. “You said you’ve been seeing him all summer, that’s plenty of time to have gotten sick of you. And, even if that did happen, I still think it would be entirely worth that week of being disgustingly in love.”

“Do you?” he drawled.

“Yes! I do!” She picked up his discarded wine glass from before and held it up. “Does the effect of alcohol last forever?”

“No …”

“Of course not! And we don’t expect it to. We expect to have fun while we’re drunk and it’ll last as long as it lasts.”

“Dating someone isn’t like being drunk, Pansy,” Draco said sourly.

“Oh, that’s not the point ,” she huffed. “We don’t do things because we know they’ll last forever, we do them because we want to. In the moment.”

“Sounds irresponsible.”

“Well, of course it is,” she scoffed. “Love is completely irresponsible, that’s the fun of it, Draco. Now take this,” she shoved the glass of wine into his hand, almost spilling it. “Drink up, and then get your arse over to his flat and fix this.”

* * *

Granger opened the door. Draco sighed.

“Hello, Granger,” he said lamely. Her raised eyebrows said she was surprised and thoroughly unimpressed by his appearance.

“Malfoy,” she said.

“Is Potter in?”

“I guess that depends.”

“On?”

She looked at him, dark brown eyes impenetrable. Then she closed the front door behind her.

“What do you want?” she asked.

“To talk to him,” he said tightly. As if this whole thing wasn’t bad enough, now he had to pass a test to get past Granger the bridge troll. “I thought he told you —”

“He did,” she said flatly. “And about yesterday.”

“Well I’m here to apologise,” said Draco. Granger’s eyebrows lifted again. Still unimpressed. “And to tell him …” He sighed again and broke eye contact, willing himself not to give up, not to take this as a sign he should just go home and ream into Pansy for giving him such bad advice.

“Malfoy.” He looked up. Her voice was softer now, and her eyes seemed a little less hard. “What are you doing? You really hurt him, you know.”

“I know,” he said stiffly. “I said I’m here to apologise.”

“Well he doesn’t need an apology,” she said. “If you’re only going to let him down again —”

“I’m not.” He rubbed his forehead and looked at her again, exasperated, defeated. “I’ve … had some sense talked into me.”

She looked like it was the last thing she’d been expecting.

“Have you?”

“Yes,” he said. “So would you please get him for me before I lose my nerve?”

It was the right thing to say. Her expression melted into something much softer and he fancied he even saw the beginnings of a smile.

“Can I ask who affected this change of heart?”

“Pansy,” he said. And, when Granger seemed taken aback, “She’s very wise when she feels like it.”

“I see. Well …” She still looked a bit conflicted, eyeing him and then putting her hand on the doorknob. “All right. I’ll tell him you’re here, anyway, but he was really hurt, Malfoy. I don’t know if he’ll want to hear it.”

“I’ll take my chances,” he said.

Granger eyed him another moment and then went back inside, shutting the door behind her. Draco only had to wait a minute before it was opening again, and this time Harry came out. The sight of him made Draco’s heart feel tender and sore.

“Hi,” he said.

“Hi, Potter.”

He waited to see if Harry would say anything else but he didn’t. He only stared at Draco expectantly, arms folded, in all ways closed off.

“I came to apologise,” said Draco.

“Well you can keep it,” said Harry. “I don’t need an apology because you told me the truth.”

“It wasn’t the truth, Potter,” Draco said quietly. “Opposite, really.”

Harry was silent. Then, “You made me feel like shit, Draco.”

“I know. I’m sorry. You freaked me out, springing it on me like that.”

A beat, then two, and then suddenly Harry was dropping his arms and sighing and he looked at Draco with so much vulnerability he nearly had to turn away from it.

“I didn’t mean to tell you …” He licked his lips, scratched his arm. It reminded Draco that beneath everything, Harry was still the same awkward dorky leader-of-the-losers he’d always been, just with a bit more confidence now and the title of Official Saviour of the Wizarding World. “I wouldn’t have said that if … I was just angry.”

He didn’t need to ask what Harry was referring to.

“I know.”

“Not that I didn’t … I mean, I … I do —”

“Please don’t say it again,” Draco said. Harry laughed.

“Right. I just meant … I really do have feelings for you, Draco. Like … mad, crazy feelings, y’know? I don’t want it to be a fling.”

“It wasn’t a fling,” he said. He moved a little closer and Harry watched him carefully, eyes flickering once down to Draco’s mouth. “I didn’t even sleep with anyone else the whole time.”

“Well that’s good to know,” said Harry sardonically. But he was smiling, so Draco found himself smiling tentatively as well.

“I wanna be with you, Potter. Properly. I thought …” But he shakes his head, deciding that now isn’t the time to explain about his father. “I thought it was a stupid idea. Now I realise that it probably is, but that I don’t really care much. I’ve decided to ignore my better judgment this one time.”

“That’s quite Gryffindor of you,” Harry commented drily.

“Yes, well.”

“So I go against your better judgment, then?”

“Potter,” Draco sighed. “Please, I don’t mean it like —”

“I’m taking the piss, Draco,” Harry cut him off. He reached for Draco’s waist and pulled him close, and before Draco could get his breath back from a short, surprised intake of breath Harry’s mouth was on his, warm and familiar and soothing. He brought his hands to Harry’s face and kissed back without bothering to hide his overwhelming relief.

Harry chased his mouth when he pulled away and Draco breathed out a laugh, holding him at bay with a hand on his chest.

“We have plenty of time,” he said. “D’you wanna come over later tonight, after your friends leave?”

“What? No, come in.” He took Draco’s hand and gestured with his head towards the door. “Please. It’s just Ron and Hermione. They know everything.”

“Really?” Draco drawled. “And you think Weasley won’t try to kill me?”

“I promise not to let him,” Harry grinned. “Please, Draco. You said you wanted to do this properly, right?”

He thought of what Pansy said about being irresponsible, and decided it was worth a try at least.

“Okay,” he said. Harry beamed and tugged him inside.

Towards his ultimate downfall or towards the beginning of the rest of his life, he didn’t know. That, as Pansy would have said, was the fun of it.

#anna writes #answered #drarry fic #god i had sm fun writing this tysm for the prompt 😩

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latte-fairytaekwoon · 4 years ago

Text

𝑀𝑦 𝐺𝑖𝑟𝑙 𝑃𝑡.2 (𝑆𝑒𝑜𝑛𝑔ℎ𝑤𝑎×𝑅𝑒𝑎𝑑𝑒𝑟)

Part One/ Part Three / Part Four

Pairing: Badboy! Park Seonghwa (Ateez)/ Reader (Female)

Genre: Angst, Fluff, College Au.

Summary: Y/N has no idea what to make of the mysterious Park Seonghwa. Does he really like her or is he simply playing with her?

✿❯────「✿」───❮✿❯──「✿」────❮✿

Flipping the light switches off, Y/N typed in the security code into the pin pad before closing the door behind her, the faint beeping from inside letting her know that the alarm was functioning properly. She honestly wondered at times about if anyone would ever think about robbing a coffee shop. Granted it made a lot of money during certain seasons, but unless you actually work in one, you probably wouldn't think so. Yet it was surprising to know it could make as much money as any famous fast food restaurant. Well.....with those sky high prices, it made sense.

She stopped and checked to make sure she had everything in her bag, not wanting to risk having left her keys inside and find out until she reached her apartment. Satisfied by the confirmation, she began her walk home. If it had been fall or winter, she would have seriously considered taking a bus, even though it wasn't that far away. But it was summer and thankfully there was still an hour left before the sun finally set. She truly believed she was lucky to have found a place to live that was close not only to her workplace, but also her school, even if it was a tiny studio apartment. She felt proud to say it was hers.

Feeling something tug on her sneaker, she looked down and realized one of her shoes was untied. She bent down and began tying it up again, carelessly placing her bag right next to her on the street. She was so focused on her task in front of her, she failed to notice the looming figure in front of her.

"You know anybody could just whisk away your bag and run at this moment?"

She snapped her head back up and saw Seonghwa standing in front of her, an amused smile on his face. He bent down and picked up her bag, dusting off the dirt that had gotten on the bottom part of it in the process.

"Tsk. Tsk. And here I thought you were a more.... what's the word? Meticulous person."

Y/N gave him a questioning gaze before standing up, quickly grabbing her bag from him.

"Not even a thank you?" Seonghwa shook his head.

"What are you still doing here? I thought you went home." Y/N said, clearly confused as to why he'd be there still.

Seonghwa raised an eyebrow at her.

"I thought I told you back in the shop that I'd see you later?"

Y/N recalled the moment, it did seem weird to her that he'd say that.

"Well doll, it's later......and I wanted to see you." He explained, a slight smirk tugging on the corners of his lips.

Y/N let out a tiny scoff.

"Why?"

Seonghwa blinked at her response.

"I thought I made myself clear the other day Y/N. I like you."

Y/N blushed slightly at the memory of him confronting her back in school. She was hoping the shadow from the building in front of her casted enough to hide it from him.

"And I said there would be plenty of time to get to know each other.....well I'm free right now and obviously so are you. So why don't we get something to eat? My treat."

He grinned at her, obviously not expecting her to turn down his offer. Any other girl wouldn't say no to Seonghwa. But Y/N wasn't any girl, and she wasn't about to say yes to someone she hardly knew. Especially not when he acted so strange for her liking.

"No thank you."

She quickly responded and took a step to walk away from him, but his hand reached out and stopped her from moving any further.

"Why not?" He asked.

Y/N tried to think of an excuse, any quick excuse to get out of this.

"I'm not hungry." Was the best thing she could think of.

The loud grumbling of her stomach was a dead giveaway of her fat lie. After working 8 hours straight with only a bowl of cereal for breakfast and a muffin on her only break, of course she was borderline starving and needed something in her stomach before it began eating itself. Her hands clutched her stomach, hoping to silence the obnoxious noise, but ultimately just making it more obvious.

Seonghwa looked down at her figure and snorted softly.

"Seriously, I know a really good place here that sells burgers and shakes. Are you really going to say no to free food?"

At this point she could either tell him to fuck off and stomp away home, but ultimately she'd leave even more hungry and would still have to whip up something on the stove that would take approximately half an hour or more. Or she could accept his offer, but it'd mean interacting with him, not that it was necessarily a bad thing, but she honestly didn't know what to make of him. He's been straightforward with her all this time, but how was she to know he was being serious? For all she knew, he could just be playing with her. After all, isn't that what all bad boys are known for?

Guess there was only one way to find out.

✿❯────「✿」───❮✿❯──「✿」────❮✿

Y/N looked around at the 50's themed diner she was in:

Black and white tiled floor that was so clean it almost looked slippery. Cherry red leather seats, either in the form of booths, tables or chairs on the front white counter that stretched at least 40 feet. An array of old records hanged on the wall, whether or not you could actually play them on a record player or if they were just flimsy decorations would forever be a secret. An old juke box was stationed in one of the corners of the counter currently playing The Beatles, its color combination of yellow and blue not quite appealing to the eyes. And of course, a pinball machine was placed near the entrance for kids to waste their quarters on. They even had a light blue 1955 convertible Chevrolet Bel Air for people to go take pictures of or with. At this point it wouldn't have surprised Y/N if waitresses came out of the kitchen in roller skates and started singing songs from Grease or Hairspray.

It became an even more ironic thought when she saw Seonghwa walk back to her with their food. Dressed in a white shirt, distressed jeans, black combat boots and black leather jacket with his hair slicked back, he could almost be a modern day Danny Zuko and for some reason, that thought made her bust a tiny giggle.

"What's so funny?" Seonghwa asked as he sat the tray down in front of her.

"Oh....nothing." She was not about to get caught.

Seonghwa looked at her funny, but ultimately decided not to pry.

"Here you go."

He slipped her food in front of her: a burger the size of her two hands and a 32 ounce chocolate shake with whipped chocolate and a cherry on the top. A well sized platter with regular fries and curly fries made it obvious that they were going to share them. She didn't mind though, the portions were so big she doubted she'd even finish half of it.

She dug into the food, her stomach thanking her for finally putting something in her body. She was so hungry that she didn't care if she was eating like how she usually ate when she was at home, messy and slobbish. She was halfway through her burger, when she caught Seonghwa just staring at her. That's when she started to feel self conscious. She quickly swallowed what was currently in her mouth and grabbed a napkin to wipe the corners of her mouth.

Seonghwa giggled at her.

"Don't worry about it. It's pretty refreshing to see a girl not care about how she looks like when she eats, and to actually eat. You have no idea how many girls I've brought here who only get salads and nothing else."

He cringed slightly at past memories of awful dates that make him wanna kick himself for even thinking they were attractive. He blamed himself though. He tended to only look at pretty faces and end up regretting it when he found out they were all self-centered, shallow, and prissy girls that just made his blood boil.

"Maybe that's why I like you. You're different."

He didn't even realize he said that out loud until she whipped her head up at him. He was stunned that he accidentally let that slip, but he was able to play it off coolly.

"How......how can you..... we've never even..?" Y/N couldn't even completely form her question but Seonghwa knew what she was referring to.

Sighing softly, he began:

"Well I'm going to sound like a total creep now but that's inevitable. It was a few months back, when you had changed majors and had to be transferred to our class..."

Seonghwa ignored the usual reprimand of the professor, telling him he was late again. As if he didn't do it on purpose. He just hated this class. It was undoubtedly one of the most boring subjects one could possibly take. He began to stare off into space, not even bothering to listen to what was being said.

He looked around at the familiar faces he saw in class, the same people from last year. Until a head of (insert hair color) hair caught his eye. She was definitely not there before. Seonghwa tried to think if he had ever seen her around before, but couldn't quite remember.

Unknowingly, he found himself staring at her more and more each time they had class together. He found out she had a habit of tapping her pen against her cheek when she was trying to concentrate, she kept everything in her bag organized and hardly socialized with anybody.

One time he followed her to her locker, just to briefly see what was inside of it. You can always tell a lot about a person based on how they decorate their locker. But Seonghwa only saw a few pictures of what he assumed was her family, few friends and a lot of sticky notes with motivational quotes written on them in various sharpie colors, with either stars or diamonds as decorations.

That just peeked his curiosity even more in trying to decipher who the mysterious girl was, and his curiosity turned to fondness for the girl, so he had no choice but to admit that he was attracted to her and wanted to get close to her.

"Wait. Is that why you were staring at me in class the other day?" Y/N asked after he told her all that.

"Took you long enough to notice too. You were so oblivious to it that it was kinda funny." He chuckled.

Y/N looked back at that moment and realized she still had so many questions left.

"But then why did you look angry after I looked away?"

Seonghwa shifted his position, sitting up straighter so he could look at her.

"Why? Cause you looked at me with such a bitch face and even rolled your eyes at me. I was kinda angry and hurt that you did that given how I feel about you." He explained.

Y/N looked at him confused.

"I did not roll my eyes at you."

"Uh....yeah. You did. You looked at me as if I was a bug or something." He corrected her.

"Well..... I was tired and hungry! I'm not in control of my actions or emotions when I'm in that state." She tried defending herself, feeling somewhat embarrassed that she had no control over her facial expressions.

"Yeah, I've noticed. You weren't all that happy 25 minutes ago when I asked you out on this date." Now it was Seonghwa's turn to roll his eyes at her previous behavior.

"This....this isn't a date!" Y/N exclaimed.

Seonghwa raised an eyebrow and smiled.

"Oh no? Do enlighten me then. What is this?"

Y/N thought about it for a moment.

"We are just 2 individuals, having a meal together and conversing." She stated.

"Why are we conversing though?" Seonghwa continued to pry.

Y/N hummed.

"Because you said you wanted to get to know me better?"

Seonghwa smiled at that.

"Sounds to me like a date then."

Y/N mentally face palmed. She practically walked into that one herself. She sighed as she picked up one of the fries and dipped it into her milkshake before eating it.

"And now I've learnt one more thing about you: we have similar tastes in eating."

Y/N watched as he mirrored her actions and dipped his fries in his strawberry milkshake. Y/N decided to just finish eating as soon as possible so she could go home early. The sun was starting to set and she didn't like walking home in the dark, even if rarely any crime happened in this neighborhood. She was planning on not saying anything else, but then something popped in her mind that made her ask:

"Wait a minute! The day after the.....incident." She began.

"You mean when you were a total bitch?" Seonghwa teased.

"Haha, funny." She threw a fry at him, causing Seonghwa to laugh even harder.

She had to admit though, he had a cute laugh.

"Anyways, the day afterwards, I heard 2 girls talking in the bathroom about you. They said that you were pissed off at me-"

"I kinda was." He interrupted her again.

"Let me finish!" She cried out rather annoyed.

Seonghwa bit his lip as he stifled another laugh. He found it adorable when Y/N got agitated.

"They made it sound like you were going to beat me up. Something about 'giving it to me'" She held up her fingers in quoting signals.

Seonghwa furrowed his eyebrows in confusion, trying to decipher what she meant. Then it hit him.

"Oh! No. Trust me, I wasn't going to beat you up. As for 'giving it to you' "

He mimicked her quotation signs, causing Y/N to glare at him for teasing her again.

"I was referring to the notepad you dropped. Remember? I gave it back to you?"

Now she face palmed literally as she realized she hadn't thought about that. And here she thought she was dead meat for sure.

"Was that why you were avoiding me the rest of the week? You actually believed I was going to fight you?"

Y/N swirled her milkshake with her straw, unable to look at Seonghwa in the eyes anymore.

"Y/N? I'm talking to you. You really believed that?"

The authority in his voice made her look up at him, his expression showing offense and indignation at the thought that she actually believed him capable of such a thing.

"Why would you think that?" He continued his interrogation.

"Well..... I don't know! Ok? Maybe cause I've heard so many rumors about you. You don't exactly have the best of reputations at school. Everyone says how you're...."

Her voice trailed off, afraid to finish her sentence, afraid to offend or hurt him in anyway .

"That I'm a delinquent? A criminal?"

Y/N blinked when he said that, as if he could read her mind.

"I know what people say about me, I'm not blind nor deaf to their gossip." He stated, not at all unfazed by what he often heard.

"So does that mean none of it is true?" She couldn't help but want the answer to her question.

"Well depends. Have I gotten into a lot of fights with other guys? Yes. Do I have a temper at times that gets me in trouble? Yes. Have I fucked a bunch of girls just for fun? Definitely. Do I smoke or drink often? I'm not denying it."

Seonghwa reached into his pocket and took out his lighter, twirling it around in his hand a few times so Y/N could get a glance at it before putting it back in his pants.

"But have I ever vandalized, stolen or done anything remotely illegal? No. Have I beaten someone up for no good reason? No."

Y/N listened to his words very carefully. She was amazed how he was calmly telling her all of this.

"And I most certainly have never even thought about lifting a finger against a woman. Especially not one I'm interested in." He confessed abruptly, causing Y/N to gulp her drink a little fast, nearly making her choke.

"I'm sorry." She apologized.

Seonghwa chuckled softly.

"Don't be. I get why you'd be scared. I just wish you'd get to know the real me......"

He reached his hand out and lightly brushed his finger on the top of her knuckles.

"Kinda like how I want to know you..."

The physical contact sent a weird feeling down her body. It was chilly, yet warm at the same time. She wanted to reach out and lace her fingers in his, and she would have, until a high pitched voice interrupted them.

"Seonghwa! Is that you?!"

They looked over to see a purple haired boy waving his hand in the air, as if his loud voice didn't make his presence already known. A pink haired boy was standing next to him, looking embarrassed as his friend jumped up and down. Having had enough of that, he pulled the boy by his arm and ran over to Seonghwa and Y/N's table.

"Hi! What a coincidence to see you here! Why didn't you tell us you would be here? You could have joined Yeosang and I. He promised to take me out to eat." He pulled whom Y/N assumed to be Yeosang closer to him.

The purple haired boy spoke so loud and fast Y/N had a hard time understand what he was saying.

"Promised? I was threatened." Yeosang replied, causing the other boy to let out a loud laugh, making Y/N think of a hyena.

"Hyung, where are your manners? Aren't you going to introduce us to your girlfriend?"

Seonghwa blushed and cleared his throat. It was the first time Y/N saw him get flustered and it was definitely funny.

"Y/N isn't my girlfriend-"

"Oh really? Great! Cause she's cute."

The boy wasted no time and held his hand out to her.

"My name is Wooyoung, I'm single, Bi, and I have a driver's license." He winked at her.

"For a moped." Yeosang corrected him.

Wooyoung sent a glare towards his friend.

"Y/N, these are my friends: Wooyoung and Yeosang. They go to our school, but you've probably never seen them cause they're a grade below us."

Y/N nodded and waved awkwardly at them.

"Yeosang, Wooyoung, this is Y/N. She's not my girlfriend, but she's off limits. Ok?" Seonghwa made sure to lock eyes with Wooyoung, silently warning him not to step any further into his territory.

"So if she's not your girlfriend, does that mean she's a fuck bud-"

Yeosang stepped on Wooyoung's foot, causing him to bend over in pain. Yeosang however smiled sweetly as if nothing happened.

"Anyways, it was nice seeing you Hyung. We wouldn't want to take up more of your time. Besides, we'll be seeing you tomorrow at Hongjoong's party. Right?"

Seonghwa nodded.

"You know I never pass up an opportunity to party."

"Will you bring Y/N with you?" Wooyoung asked, hoping she'd come.

Seonghwa looked over to Y/N, who tried to think of an answer.

"Uh... no thanks. I wasn't invited so-"

"Who cares? No one needs an invitation these days. It's a frat party anyways, a bunch of strangers end up coming in the end." Wooyoung insisted.

"I'll....think about it." Y/N knew she wouldn't.

"Ok! I'll take it as a yes. I'll see you guys tomorrow."

Taking a hold of Yeosang's hand, Wooyoung made his way over to another table, the pink haired boy already looking exhausted at the thought of spending at least 2 more hours with his highly energetic friend.

Y/N smiled softly at them. They were definitely an odd pairing, but they seemed to compliment each other.

"It's getting late. Want me to take you home?" Seonghwa asked her.

"It's fine. I can walk. It's not that far." She refused.

"I insist. I want to make sure you get there safely." He insisted.

Y/N smirked at him.

"Are you really concerned for my safety or do you just wanna find out where I live?"

Seonghwa's mouth dropped at her insinuation.

"I don't..... ok you got me there."

She chuckled at his reaction, but ultimately got up.

"Ok. Fine. Take me home. The worst you can possibly do is murder me and throw my body in a lake."

Seonghwa shook his head and picked up his jacket. He made sure to hold the door open for her when they went out. Y/N didn't even notice he had stopped walking until she heard him whistle behind her. Turning around, she saw him standing next to a black Harley-Davidson motorcycle. She raised her hands and gestured him to explain.

"I told you I was taking you home."

He tapped the seat.

"So come on. Hop on doll."

He began taking out the spare helmet for her to put on. She walked back to him and placed her hands on her hips.

"You kept it parked here the entire time?" She asked him.

"Uh huh." He responded.

Her face was full of shock.

"Did you know that I would say yes to coming here with you?"

"Well not exactly 'knew'.......more like....hoped."

He winked at her before placing the helmet above her head, making sure to strap it tightly.

"Safety first."

After putting on his own helmet, he got on the motorcycle and waited for her to get on. She awkwardly threw her leg over the seat and hesitated to wrap her arms around him. Seonghwa huffed and simply grabbed her wrists to put them on his stomach.

As soon as he started revving up the motorcycle, Y/N tightened her grip around him. Even through his shirt, she could feel rock solid abs underneath it. It made her wonder what he looked like without a shirt. The thought temporarily distracted her from the worry of actually riding in a motorcycle for the first time.

Sensing her fear, Seonghwa grabbed one of her hands and gave it a light squeeze.

"Don't worry doll. I'll keep you safe."

✿❯────「✿」───❮✿❯──「✿」────❮✿

*part 3 coming soon*

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