#well i guess it shows since this didnt turn out as well as i imagined. but still i wanted t draw something for yibo

[theorphicforest]

i finished season 4 of the umbrella academy a few days ago, after re-watching my beloved season 2 i’ve come up with thinks i liked and disliked about the season

so here is my rant.

Liked/noticed:

- Both Brellie ben and Sparrow ben died Because of Jennifer. imagine no matter what timeline your in you die because of your heart, brellie ben wanted to save her and not blow her up, sparrow ben wanting to feel seen and belong to somthing/someone (i love brellie and sparrow ben so much ill rant about him later dw)

- LUTHERRR went from being a Luther disliked to a Luther lover- he’s so silly omg i can’t-

- KLAUS MY BELOVED (that’s it a just loved seeing klaus will rant about what i didn’t like soon)

- Jean & Gene- before you say anything. THEY MATCHED EACH OTHERS FREAKS SO WELL

(when will i find somone who match’s my freak they way they match each others?)

- KLAUS AND CLAIRE OMG MY BABYS I CANT- HES THE BEST UNCLE 😭

- DEIGO, I LOVE HIM SM I LOVED SEEING HIM BE A FAMILY MAN.

DISLIKES (THERE IS A LOT)

*ahem*

why did luther get his ape body back, its not connected to his powers at all. they just did it to make two bad jokes didn't they

HOW DID SHE GET IN THE SQUID

they said durango was supposed to be more powerful the all the brellie combined if she came in contact with them but all she did was turn into a fleshy blob monster?

how did five start the commission?

why didn’t reggie just kill jenifer inseatd of making an elaborate truman show around d her? we all know he would have no problem killing g her bc he already did in the brellie timeline

how could claire and grace and the twins still be alive when their parents never existed. that would've created another grandfather paradox according to this shows logic i guess not?

WHERE IS SLOANE? AND RAY? YOU EXPECT ME TO BELIVE THAT THE RAYMOND CHESTNUT WOUDL WALK OUT IN ALLISON? I THINK NOT! if the actor didn’t want to/couldn’t be in the show i understand but at least make a good reason.

when Five meets the other Fives in the diner he doesn't show any symptoms of Paradox Psychosis

Diego dies without saying goodbye to his children

Abigail's storyline made NO sense at all

WHY ARE THE ALIENS?

Klaus' new powers are shown for a second and then for the rest of the season he's basically reduced to a prostitute, ruining all the anticipation of seeing his true strength that has been building up since season 2 and he lost all of his self improvement

why in the hell was Lila shooting laser from her eyes? where did that power come from?

oh yeah! AND WHATS THE DEAL WITH LILA AND FIVE? IT HAD NOTHING TO SO WITH THE PLOT AT ALL

AND WHILE IM ON THIS TOPIC WHY DIDNT DEIGO STUTTER WHEN HE FOUND OUT?

AND HE SAID LILA HATED BRACELETS (and traded on he got her for a Dyson vacuum) BUT SHE KEPT THE ONE FORM THE ASYLUM AND WORE IT FOR THE WHOLE OF SEAOSN 2 (AND MAYBE 3?) MAYBE DEIGO JUST HAS BAD TASTE IN BUYING BRACLETS?

SOBIBNG

i will do i post on why i love ben and Klaus so much eventually:3

[jazzyblusnowflake]

Ooo, question just came to mind. How did the whole polycule come to be? I know you said they get together after everything and after N and Uzi are already dating, but how did they agree to the whole thing? Because I can imagine Uzi feeling quite conflicted about V's flirting and wanting to check in with N about the whole thing.

This was kinda a question I had for myself as well since I'm writing a fic with Nuziv in mind but I wanted to see how your version goes down, since the one I have planned has radically different timing.

to be fair you ask "how did they agree to the whole thing" when they hardly thought about anything at all 😭

V simply decided one day that if she was gonna be dealing with Uzi every day she might as well make it more enjoyable for herself too- the teasing and jabs became less and less coated in malice and they started to joke around more and even agree on things [never a good sign in Ns honest opinion 😭] and after a while it turned into playfights and joke flirting and then just flat out flirting.

this process didnt just happen with Uzi, it also went along with N. just a bit differently i guess, just like how i showed you in the previous snippet on N and V arguing lol. N started feeling jealous but not because of V STEALING Uzi or anything, V just silently challenges him to one up her all the time and they kinda got stuck in this loop of who could make Uzi more pleased.

after a while, im guessing maybe in a cuddle pile after N and Uzi forced V into, they all just kinda sorta thought like "wow, well shit. i really cant live without them..." and they unofficially decided they are all together. it didnt have a name for a long time until they were actually ready to be closer and admit they liked eachother romantically. but that was more of a thing to be said to set boundries and make it official. otherwise as far as flirting goes, they had been doing it subconciously for a long time lololololol-

[stuck-in-the-ghost-zone]

@intertexts okay before i answer the second trigger question i NEED to talk about the trickster/clarence/mal backstory. fuck . okay. you know the drill. nhw essay under the cut:

ok first off this is the required listening for reading this post bc ive imagined all of this in the form of an animatic (trickster pov). there was like a 4-hour span of time at work one day last week where i just had this song on repeat and zoned out thinking abt this while i did absent cleaning tasks. so thats how u KNOW im insane

ok so i still havent thought of a name for the city. but ive been thinking about this city as a parallel equivalent to the spirit world. ironically, its a city that doesnt have a huge parahuman population, so its relatively quiet. the cape presence is pretty small. the lead hero in the city is Whisperer (aka clarence albert), a striker/mover/stranger. he can fly, turn invisible (NOT intangible!!!!!!!!), and if he can get a hand on someone he can calm their emotions just by touching them. it's effectively like a tranquilizer, except theyre not asleep theyre just not feeling whatever strong emotions led them to causing trouble in the first place. (thinking abt this like a touch-based version of the calm emotions spell in dnd, its concentration so the effect is limited to when hes actually touching someone. when he lets go, theres a small window of time before they reorient themselves and are back to whatever they were feeling before) (this is to parallel the idea that the whisperer can pull chaos spirits out of possessed people like william did to atlas).

anyway. distracted. Whisperer's partner was originally a rogue named Ghoul, a huge hulking Brute cape who didnt really cause many serious problems but was a huge disturbance to the local people just beacuse of his monstrous appearance. Clarence confronted him and Ghoul dropped his changer form to reveal mallard conway, a man who had only recently triggered and was essentially.. lost. directionless. he didnt know what to do with his powers, since they were so... different. hes a master/changer/brute, with the ability to create strong illusions and influence people in his regular form, but can change forms to be a hulking monster with brute strength. essentially both brains and brawn in one guy. clarence asks him something along the lines of "well if you have nowhere else to go, why not come wiht me?" and basically. takes him under his wing? i guess? its not like he trains him, but just by being around clarence, mal learns what its like to be.. good. not selfish and heartless. clarence isnt much involved with capes from other cities since their own is pretty quiet, so his main focus is to just kind of keep the peace. keep the balance.

this goes on for... a long time. clarence and mal (whisperer and purgatory << mal's new hero name) are basically inseparable. call it love, call it brotherhood, call it a one-sided hero worship crush on mal's end. who knows. theyre secretive, not in the public eye much unless they need to be. UNTIL. some new villain triggers and is an IMMEDIATE s-class. now i have a couple different ideas for how and why exactly the trickster triggers and where he comes from but honestly im okay with leaving it a mystery for now. one day he shows up like a natural disaster. it becomes a situation VERY similar to nilbog- the prt forces get called in, they try to take him down with non-capes first since hes a high leveled master and they dont want him to immediately gain super powerful puppets to control. this,, does not work and basically just feeds him fodder to make his numbers grow VERY quickly. Whisperer and Purgatory (mostly whisperer) can't sit back and watch this Trickster guy just keep absorbing innocents into his masses and use them to do his dirty work anymore, so Whisperer wants to confront him. I think Purgatory tries to hold him back at first (mainly due to the fear of losing him, but he words it as "we're not supposed to, if either of us get caught it would be so much worse for everyone involved"). Whisperer does not listen to him and goes anyway; hes convinced that with his power, all he needs to do is touch Trickster and everything will be so much easier to handle once hes out of commission. the fight DOES NOT GO THIS WAY. clar and mal actually are able to fight their way up to the trickster, clarence gets a hand on him.. but his power doesnt work. theres this moment where the trickster freezes like maybe something did happen, but then clarence realizes like... he cant feel anything. i think usually he can tell what sort of emotion he's repressing when he uses his power; sort of innately understands what sort of effect hes having on a person, but with the trickster it jsut feels like. nothing. theres nothing there. and then he starts laughing and breaks the silence and turns around to grab clarence and hurt him in some way. mal is preoccupied; hes fighting off puppets as theyre sort of swarming the area, allowing clarence a moment to use his power... and then he sees whats happening.

i dont think trickster is particularly strong on his own. but. i mean. his name is trickster. i think he probably keeps some sort of secret weapon on him. knives in his coat to make the "ive got a trick up my sleeve" joke. he slashes clarences throat, doesnt even bother trying to control him. what would he want with a power like that anyway? clarence is basically his antithesis- calming instead of chaos. that sort of power is almost like an insult to him. so he kills him. clarence is laying there bleeding out, trickster is laughing over him, mal drops everything and runs over to clarences side, trying desperately to talk to him or stop the bleeding or ANYTHING. he dies in mals arms. mal fucking. fully snaps. instant brute form, he wants to tear the trickster limb from limb, kill anything that moves around him etc etc etc. in his rage, hes not really fighting very well, hes leaving himself vulnerable, theres a lot of openings etc etc. trickster fucks up his face pretty bad (this is how he gets those big scars like he has in canon).

however, MALS powers are more fun so he doesnt outright kill him. its harder to take control of him both because of his current rage state and also the fact that hes also a master and part of mals power kind of cancels out some of the tricksters control. so instead of puppeteering him right away, trickster forces him out of the city. he of course tries to keep going back in, but at that point the PRT has made the decision to put the city under quarantine and just let him take it. they keep mal from going back in. (clarence's body is still in there. he doesnt even get a burial.) . you know how mannequins main thing is that he was originally a hero that was driven crazy by the simurgh attack that killed his wife and daughter? yeah thats what happened to mal. he was just totally unreachable after this. clarence basically saved his life, was his best and only friend, was his mentor, was the person who taught him how to be good... and now hes gone. what else does mal have left. he goes back to being called Ghoul. he joins the s9. his rage and grief eventually settle into a manipulative calm, and he starts using his master powers more than his brute powers, to get what he wants from people.

aaaand then . years later. he sees the new wards team on tv, and theres a hero with a cape that looks achingly familiar. surely it cant be him, clarence is dead, has been dead for years... but there he is. theres his costume. this new hero is even ghost-themed. as smart and manipulative and greasy as mal is i think theres a fundamental piece of him thats just. really irreparably unhinged. seeing something that reminds him of clarence again drives all common sense out of his mind and he defaults to "thats him" even though he would logically know that its not. and thats why hes so obsessed with wibby. he knows this new cape calls himself Wraith, but like. capes change their names all the time! mal even did it himself once! maybe if he calls him Whisperer enough times, he'll remember who he is.

theres some more to this plotwise that mostly just deals with. the plot. but i feel like this is a good setup for mals whole thing :]

[miiilowo]

I've never really watched anything about Security Breach's cut content so I'm don't know much about it. Any specific things or moments that you wish the most were actually used?

And/or, could you tell us about your interpretation of Vanny :3c, I don't have any less vague questions off the top of my head so just in general I guess-

SHATTERED. FREDDY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FUCKING HELL SHATTERED FREDDY!

YOU SEE THIS ASSHOLE ?? ^^^^

there are voice lines and unused art for glamrock freddy that show vanny commanded to other glamrocks to disassemble him, and it would have turned him against gregory. Having your one failsafe source of protection and guidance (well. if you dont include him getting stuck on walls and railings) ripped out from underneath you, now hunting you? can you imagine how effective that would have been for most people?

this was the intention for the game. it wasnt an idea that was scrapped, it was cut because they didn't have enough time. this was SUPPOSED to happen. even if it wasnt scary, (which it might not have been accounting for how MONSTROUSLY BRIGHT THE PIZZAPLEX IS), it would've made the game much more memorable, the characters have more stakes, and made the game feel less empty. and can you IMAGINE the sexyman potential? Hot bear dad turns fucked up and evil??? you know the fandom would be all over this freak

like all silliness aside, one of my major complaints w SB is how empty it feels. It's fundamentally broken, and not just from a bugs perspective; The story does not work like it should, because most of the story was removed. You experience the most barebones version of the plot. The meat used to be there, but they hid it in the files never to be seen again. It's stuff LIKE shattered freddy that would've made this game more than it is, would've fleshed out the characters, the plot, and motivations. It injects some EMOTION in there, god forbid. Among the lines for shattered freddy related cut content is one of gregory crying!!!! come on man!!

They'll probably bring him back for Ruin, but it won't be the same, nor have the same plot or characterization. Just a skin slapped onto him, I imagine.

Before I get to vanny, i wanna touch on glamrock bonnie. I do think we were supposed to get more of him in general, seeing as a whole bonnie bowl minigame was cut out, but we really only got scraps hinting at a larger mystery. I'm not sure what all was cut, but it feels like it was building up to something much bigger and it simply never had the chance to be executed, which is a shame.

Moving away from him though, theres a bunch of stuff about Vanny/Vanessa (most of which i will not cover here). vanny my sweet lovely girl who was done so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO dirty

First of all, they completely made Vanessas personality do a 180 degree turn right before release. The version of her that we got is very mean, short tempered and cruel, whereas the version of her before actually cared about Gregory and helping him out of the pizzaplex; The reason Gregory wouldn't trust her, being that he knows she is also Vanny, but I'll get into that in a second. She seemed just as confused and scared as Gregory is, and while, yeah, having every female character be motherly and sweet is BAD i do have a point as to why that would have been better for her character, especially if it was a ruse she was putting on:

It makes the player want to trust her. Since Gregory never explains WHY we shouldn't trust Vanessa, it would make sense that we would want to doubt him, wouldn't it? There's cut lines that show Freddy didnt believe Gregory for a while either until he proves that something is up. The game was originally supposed to have a sort of "vanny meter"; I'm not sure how this would deplete, but whenever it did, Vanessas model itself would turn INTO Vanny, at which point she would start hunting you. Having the player witness one of these transitions after being led to believe that Vanessa has been genuinely trying to help us this whole time would be 1. scary in the same sense shattered freddy wouldve been 2. would explain why gregory doesn't trust her (he's seen this happen before, presumably) 3. would give freddy an actual reason to protect you instead of just doing it for the sake of protecting you, continuously going against his programming in rather inconsistent fashions

You can see how this was likely going to be incorporated through the trailers, (the line where shes saying she didnt want to hurt gregory, and it was 'just a glitch'), and it would also explain why shes NEVER IN THE FUCKING GAME DESPITE BEING ADVERTISED AS A MAIN CHARACTER AND VILLAIN

While I do think steel wool wouldn't have made her full evil (as much as i would love her to be) and would've made her genuinely a helpless wet rag whos scared and being puppeted around by afton, I do think this wouldve been better, because she wouldve been an effective threat and more sympathetic as a character. In the end game she still is just a helpless wet rag being puppeted around by afton but without any of the emotional impact. what fucking ever i guess

i still stand by the fact she should've been a copycat killer and afton's "i always come back" line would mean his INFLUENCE is eternal, not that HE HIMSELF is eternal, as we both know this would have been better in one thousand hundred million billion trillion ways forever

[castlebyersafterdark]

i really love your realisticness about what we could actually get in s5 when it comes to byler spice. lover's lake is a perfect set up, and i agree that peak romance being needed. although the reason i've always been in the spicy camp is because, to me, the more we see, the less explicit/dirty/spicy/lewd it will be?

cutting to black like jancy is too... dismissive, almost. it implies that the couple has found peace and simply needs to do the deed, and that the sex quality didnt matter, only that they did it. but surely the conflict for mike and will IS the question of hiccups and doubts even during? Can we, should we, do this? i think that what we DO need to see IS the fumbling, IS the constant glances at each other to make sure it's ok, IS the hand grabbing another hand and tentatively guiding it down to the crotch, probably over clothes, etc! i want to see their relationship literally transform before my eyes. and i think we need to see that hesitation and fear mixed with excitement in their eyes even during the act, that inexplicable oxymoron that is first desire and losing your virginity.

the first shadow REALLY plays up the idea of desire and intense emotion making electricity and lights go haywire, and it was sometimes done tongue in cheek as an obvious sex joke (the whole theatre laughed). its sooooo duffers to use this for will and mike. what better metaphor than the whole hawkins power grid sparking out because mike made will come so hard he literally BLACKED OUT?? and it doesnt need to be kinky or lewd! it could be over for will in 10 seconds as soon as mike touches him, but that doesnt make it less intense or hot - but the important thing is that will came because of the emotional intensity of them having sex, not just the physical sensation. i think this is the difference between gratuitous and meaningful movie sex.

and then the actual climax (lol) of that emotional arc will be their peace and contentment AFTER its done, so we also need to see the post-sex scene. you mentioned shy smiles and doing up a belt, but i think they deserve a whole night together. i would love love love to see them waking up together, maybe even accidentally thwarting a mission somewhat because they left their walkie talkies in another room? idk. something that ties it into the plot well.

a quick fumble can be sexy but i don't think byler need that - it keeps them too in the friends category, and the audience needs to know for sure that their relationship has transformed into something else and can never go back. THIS is a coming of age arc. their first time can't resemble a one night stand in any way. i also think will wouldn't be able to emotionally cope with sleeping with mike in a barn in the afternoon and then just going back about his day. i think he would need at least one business day and night to process it lol. will's sleep quality has also been a big theme of the show - imagine if he sleeps with mike and wakes up in his arms the next morning having slept soundly for the first time since he was 12???? literal perfection.

I AGREE WITH ALL OF THIS - I tried to be realistic in my assessment/predictions but I guess I'm just trying to set the bar low to either be happy with what we get or surprised if it exceeds expectations. But this ship deserves the world. They deserve care and peak romance and softness and it to be the moment. Truly, there is so much more going on in the show but I really do believe that byler is the heart of the show, a major turning point and overarching theme so I do hold out the hope that they get something really beautiful. What a waste, if not?

I compare to the 2 sex scenes we've gotten because that's the only frame of reference for that sort of romance we've really seen - but in actuality, yeah, it doesn't really make sense for a repeat or an homage. They'd get their own moment. Gosh, you've described some wonderful direction and context and potential imagery for the scene. I especially love "will's sleep quality has also been a big theme of the show - imagine if he sleeps with mike and wakes up in his arms the next morning having slept soundly for the first time since he was 12" LIKE??? Oh that's fantastic. Your brain. My heart ahhh. Wouldn't that just be the loveliest? How indicative of their relationship as a whole, and one of the classic pillars of romance - "find someone with whom you can rest." Ahh. That's what they are to each other, aren't they? Mike - running from himself, from society, from guilt, from his feelings, from danger. Will - plagued by nightmares, and hate, always looking over his shoulder for monsters and humans alike. Have them express their love not just emotionally, but physically, but then let them rest. With each other.

[ganeshpnf]

HI IM HERE TO RANT ABOUT CHALICE OF THE GODSSS

OKAY SO I KNOW A LOT OF PEOPLE HAVE SAID THAT THERE WASNT ENOUGH FIGHTING AND BATTLES AND ALL THAT BUT. THAT ISNT PERCYS LIFE RN SO I THINK IT MAKES SENSE?? AND HIS FIGHT WITH OLD AGE WAS KINDA LAME BUT I THINK THATS THE POINT...?

ALSO: GROVER NEEDS TO BE PART OF THE TRIO BETTER :( I FEEL LIKE HE DIDNT HAVE AS BIG OF A ROLE BECAUSE PERCY AND ANNABETH ARE DATING WHICH IS LIKE COOL AND ALL BUT THEIR FRIENDSHIP IS IMPORTANT TOO!!

and yeah! your thoughts? (sorry i know this is a lot to dump on you but i saw you reply to my post :D)

OMG HI!!!!

Missing fight scenes actually makes sense since they are older and more capable of taking down monsters. Also this was supposed to be more like a crack book, where they just hang out as teenagers, without more trauma XD

I agree on that old age thing, it was kind of cheesy? But still, made me smile. And tear up 👉👈 They are my kids, thinking of them getting old-

About Grover, I think it would link with the other books because on Read Riordan we know Grover is very sad because he thinks they gonna leave him- I think in next books Percy and Annabeth would realize this and show him that he is wrong :) In toa they left for college all together, Grovar was with them. I think like he would be left alone at Hecate's house since both of them would be in school and maybe we would see his feelings- They are all just guesses tho XD

Other than that, their dynamics were everything! I mean there was almost nothing serious about it and I laughed at every page. Percy's pov are everything and I MISSED it sooo much! The titles too! The new characters are very good too, minor gods( Hebe, Iris, that Lake god, GANYMADE) their were amazing! Them turning to 8 years old babies by Hebe! Omg I LOVED IT. Humor and fluff was everything. And my fav scene: Athena catching Percy XD Like I lost it! It was sooo good. Her helping her future son in law, finally accept him because her love for her daughter :) Love them. Zeus's Llama story... Well, lets say I kinda missed them too XD And of course, Sally, Paul, Annabeth, Percy acting as a family. Annabeth and Paul's interactions were adorable! Grover banging in for tofu was also hilarious lmao. And he was sad there because it was their last summer :( Sally and Annabeth being close, Sally giving THE NEWS. Baby Estelle is on the way! Percy's reaction, also being sad because he would miss many of her early life :(

I only had one problem with the book: Lack of physical decriptions. I didn't really understand the reason because like in every book we had at least one page of Percy gushing over Annabeth, talking about her gray eyes etc. Grover and the gods same too. I mean, this made me a little sad because I really wanted to know what they look like, I am into imagining while reading. I mean, Rick changing the descriptions with the show ones or something? Don't get me wrong I adore the show and the cast but I really think they should have their own canon timelines ❤

Other than that, I can easily say it was now my fav pjo book. I mean I teared up with happiness, nostalgia I felt... I love OG trio more than anything 🥲 I can't wait for the next book-

Thank you so much for the dump, it made me soooo happy ^^ I never miss a change to discuss my fav books with the fans ❤

[artinandwritin]

I dont think i ever mentioned it but ever since i started applying to art colleges I've been keeping up an art wall and since i just added some new illustrations to it, i thought it would be fun to explain some things on my wall and revisit some of my old favourites!

Going from left to right, we start with some more recent illustrations (featuring, ofc, gussiri, Niv, and a recent illustration of Cato from @otwdfanfic 's fic that i liked sm i just had to print and put up somewhere). Next to Cato, I put a gift i got from my dear friend @lt-catbolt of our bois Niv and Melatron and i cant remember if this was for my birthday or for fun, all i know is that i nearly cried when she gave it to me (go follow her now btw she's awesome and shes gonna become one of the most expressive storytellers of our generation i just know it)

Underneath Cato and Niv/Mel, we've got a huge pencil drawing I did 2 years ago to get accepted into an art college. It took me so. So long. I even begged my teachers from high school to let me follow classes online so i could continue working (they said yes lmao) and my mom even had to help. Worse, it wasnt the only assignment that particular art school had given me, no, they had given me a total of 6 assignments I had to complete. They all took a lot of time and didnt all turn out great haha. I didnt get accepted into that school (it was a fine arts study so im pretty sure i wouldnt have been happy there anyways) but that just makes me all the more happy i did get accepted into the one im currently attending

Anyway ive been too lazy to take it down so now itll be there until i find the willpower to take it down

The butterfly above it is a painting i did towards autumn of 2021 for my portfolio. I'm not the best painter (decent enough but its just not for me) but im still really happy with how this turned out. It was pretty fun!

Underneath that is an inkt print made from a stencil once again featuring Cato (i have. No idea why hes on my wall twice lmao i guess hes just a great muse). People who have been with me for long enough probably still remember this cuz i was superproud of how it turned out and plastered it all over my account (and my house. My mom wanted a copy as well)

Underneath the inkt print is a poster i got while visiting the Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe stage play when I was in London in autumn of 2022 (take me back London take me back take me back). The play was absolutely stunning and the way everything was staged left me (as a life long narnia enthusiast) ecstatic and super excited. One of the best plays ive ever seen even if i had one of the worst seats in the theatre <3

Next to the poster is another little gussiri drawing i printed lmao. The little goobers show up so much

Above the poster is more of gussiri!! And above that is another painting i made, this time of some mushrooms. I made this during a party i threw for my 18th birthday, we all did some painting together and i remember my lovely lovely friend @allilcat painting with watercolours so well. That memory is just etched into my brain <333

Above that is a painting i made of the night sky! I used it for my portfolio and it was really cool to paint since i, not knowing basic painting techniques, could only really throw my own imagination into it which gave a really cool result. Still really love it!

Lastly, we've got a Siri illustration made by a classmate of mine for a secret santa we did last christmas! I was so happy with it and ofc it deserved a really good spot on my wall <333

Thats been a bit about my wall, if youve made it this far thanks for listening to me rambling <333

[x3nnia]

X-02 Origins

First post!

Whole series is smut with plot + a whole lotta lore (don't worry this is just the lore part)

Still, even if theres no smexy stuff, minors DNI. Strong language, and depicted smoking (i ended up not adding it), be aware.

If you are used to tumblr smut stories, or just tumblr period, then you already know what youre getting into, I cant list all of that shit on here while half asleep.

Based on MCU

Some lore got lazy, so some of it sounds incorrect, just go along with it, its fiction.

This is the only part of the series with first person, since this one is only focused around the main character's backstory.

ENJOYEEEEE!!!!

Hello! My name is Lily, and I am a mutant! My powers are somewhat simple; regeneration, bone claws, and government wanting to experiment on you all the time! Whole shabang! But... its really hard to explain this, but... I am 18. 18, forever. It is VERY hard (thats what he said) to explain that to people... like, imagine someone telling you that theyre 123! But, for you to understand more, lets start BEFORE square one...

I was born in the US, Georgia, 1901. Once I discovered my power at 7, I ran away, and went from state to state, hiding, and afraid of what someone would do if my power was revealed. While I was on the run, at 16 I made it into an elite team, with people who were mutants like me! It seemed pretty cool, and there was this one strange teammate who would never really talk, and he was really handsome, but since we were on the job I never really interacted with him, I was too shy. I'm pretty sure his name was Logan, or Jimmy, one of the two. He was really good at his job though, and he communicated with the other members well, just not me, he probably thought I was too young to be doing a job like this.

On one particular mission though, we were asked to go to Nigeria and retrieve a newly discovered material, that could potentially change the world. Or atleast thats what we were told. We were asked during the mission to kill some innocent locals, Logan couldnt do it, he walked out, and a few weeks, so did almost everyone else. We were going after other mutants and capturing them, I couldnt be apart of something so horrible. I went farther into the states, and stayed in Colorado for a while. It was cold, I could go skiing, and it was private. No neighbors. No distractions. Just snow.

Finally, when I was about to turn 18, guess who showed up at my door? Stryker. After the incident in nigeria, I wanted nothing more to do with him, or the rest of the team that stayed with him. He gave me some bullshit lecture about "Your country needs you" and how someone was hunting down the old team... I didnt think I had anything to worry about, until Victor came. Logan's older brother. He was annoying, not to mention frightening, not his face, his nails. They scratched along my walls, making an ear-covering sound. I was thrown around like a ragdoll, and when I was too weak to get up and fight back, they bagged me up and took me to some nuclear reactor site...

As I woke up, I looked around, I was strapped to a table, with X-02 tattooed on my forearm. There was a huge tank of water underneath me, all I could hear parts of conversations from the scientists: "The last one was successful, hopefully this one doesnt escape." "Yeah, Im surprised that X even survived.". A doctor walked up to me, taking notice of my consiousness, they asked me: "Are you ready?" I replied with "What?" then asked "Who is X? What is X-02?". They answered "Oh, X was Logan, he was on your old team. You probably dont remember him. You are X-02, we are performing the same experiment we did on him, onto you. X didnt really fail, he just somehow managed to slip out of our fingers." "Enough with the chatting now, head down, stay still, this might hurt a bit." I looked at them with wide eyes "WAIT- BACK UP- WHAT?" she then says back "And be quiet." She walks off with her clipboard and pen, scribbling down notes.

As I was lowered into the water tank, I was infused with that metal we found in Nigeria, Adamantium. It would make me indestructible, strong, and obviously heavier, since its a metal. It did hurt like hell, I could feel it going into my bones, and the needles going through some bones aswell. I didnt mind it much, since I was just going to heal anyways.

When the procedure was done, god did I feel better. Not only better, different... I woke up in a cell, that looked more like a cage than a cell, really. There were other mutants in cells too, one of them was really pretty, her mutation was diamond skin. She was sort of a crush but I never got to talk to her, so I wasnt too interested. I popped out my claws to see if they looked any different, which they did, and I probably shouldve expected that. Having metal infused into my body.

They looked pretty sharp, like knives, maybe sharper than an average kitchen knife. I tried to test them out on the cell by swatting at it once, but since the cell wasnt made out of adamantium, my claws cut through it easily. I saw a scientist walking past, so I quickly went back to the other side of the cell, pretending like I didnt know that the cell was broken. They didnt seem to notice, as they were looking down at their clipboard while they were walking. As I saw them walk out of the room I tore apart the cell some more so I could squeeze out.

The only hard part now was getting past the guards and getting transportation...

I snuck around to one of the main exits, and it seemed to be unguarded... It was too easy. But as I got closer the sign on the door said "Fire alarm will sound when opened". So I just thought "You know what, this is probably the only one thats unguarded. Im getting the fuck outta here.". And youre probably wondering: "What about the other mutants? Arent you going to save them too?" Well, no, their powers can get them out and keep them safe- I guess they just dont have a plan on how to get out of the building, other than that im not sure why theyre still in those cells in the first place.

Anyways, back to me escaping. I push the door open and sprint out like a track star, hoping I can make it out without getting caught and taken back in. As the door shuts I hear the alarm go off inside, and Im almost long gone now. Im finally free.

almost a year later, im 18 now! I wasnt really able to celebrate on my birthday (as you know), so I just celebrated about a week later, when I was able to get an apartment in New York. I also got a new car, a new name (by which I introduced myself as at the start of the story), and a pet cat named Nyx (SHES SO CUTE OMG). So basically I just hit the restart button on life. Youre probably thinking again "What about your mutant abilities?" as for that... Since im not in danger, I dont use them in public, and rarely at home, because I changed my name and where I live, im not really being hunted down anymore by Stryker. Basically a happily ever after for me! Well- sort of....

Hehe cliffhanger.

If you enjoyed this, then check out my series! This is the origin story for the main character in the series, so people would understand more of the character before reading the main series.

By the way, Lily having a crush on Logan and then having a crush on the mutant girl in the cell, yes shes Bisexual lol.

[thornswoggled]

okay stream of consciousness thoughts about chapter 103 because that was. kind of a lot

we have to remind the reader that stella still exists

in fact lets remind them that chapter 97 happened at all

some confirmation that the new mage has a similarly aloof and misanthropic world view as other mages we already know. it doesnt matter if humans get eaten because its all toward a desirable end. reminds me very much of kyokos "the familiars eat the weak humans and turn into witches, then we eat those witches" speech. this coldness makes me think chise might be in a spot of trouble if they really earnestly try to recruit her again, or that elias may be able to have some self-satisfaction from knowing all along that their intentions are not pure

who is the "he" the apprentice wants to meet. the dragon???

this is the horniest title page weve gotten in like, a while

"dear chise. we will be running tests on you. <3" can one of them be an autism eval

okay so zoey was feeling bad because he was going birdmode. i guess when titania did whatever she did to him in chapter 99 it jumpstarted a sort of evolutionary process. strikes me as the sort of thing a creature like her would do. i imagine this will cause maximum ride-esque problems for him in public. he will have to wear a trench coat. you look like youre about to tell your friend not to come to school tomorrow. etc.

"atavism, atavism" ... the last time we heard that mentioned was from yori in 98. maybe warming us up for whatever this is? i have to wonder what the point of this small wing growth plot is. a result of heightened chaotic magic in the country?

this chapter takes place on my birthday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! seems fitting too, this chapter feels like "things are about to change, right fucking now," so having this all happen on the last day of the year feels right

a new scene!! pretty cool, and an allusion that the business with jasper is over and settled. it didnt occur to me until now that hes gone without any mention. gone as quickly as he showed up. SAD! well theres other guys

i dont think ill ever understand why chise is able to turn into a dragon unless its spelled out to me like im five. especially since the type of dragon that cursed her isnt even the same kind

"causes and factors attract and amplify each other" = "the shape goes into a shape press that presses the shape into a pressed shape"

elias is capable of bridal-carrying someone who isnt chise but hes tangentially linked to chise so it doesnt really count

a precious few pages dedicated to the fact that joseph may have at one point known how or why elias was "made." the type of creature he is is a "shadowborn," but this feels like a new translation of something that used to be called something different. elias notes that fae call him "shadowborn" as well. is this a reinterpretation of "half-made" or similar phrases?

also, i like elias' insistence that joseph cough up any information he has. yes, elias, id like to know too, keep shaking that boy

joseph bluntly demanding that chise carry him and her just being like. okay. your honor i love them they are total freaks of nature

confirmation that when chise said "priors...?" it means that she never found out that elias used to throw away her college recruitment letters. that was pretty damn funny

so theres a chance this "beyond the great wall" line did not mean what i thought it meant and now the egg is probably on my face. yamazaki listen to me very closely. what did you mean by that. besides yet another "well well well chise it looks like youre going to finally be cured of your lucky girl syndrome and bad shit will actually start happening to you for real now" line because we have GOTTEN that already

im gonna level with you i dont know who hilda is. are we supposed to know who hilda is? is she the st georges mom? she might be. she probably is. okay i just looked it up and she is

and shes flying to iceland! presumably to consult with lindel about all this dragon business. i wonder if this will be the event that prompts him to appear in london where he has that tense standoff with chise and elias

i have no idea what the bottom half of the last page is trying to communicate, who is speaking, etc

so yeah this all very much feels like a "things are ramping up and heres where all the respective parties we care about are right now" chapter. a lot to chew on

[my-mt-heart]

Hi MT

Im not gonna lie. I dont care if Carol comes back by saving Daryl,i just want her back with him. It is not such a used trope i think in media, the man saving his girl is still the overused one for me, even if its getting better. And yes, its a repetition of whats gonna happen in Summit, but its good, because it means that they (amc, the writers, gimple, whatever...) know, even if uncounsciously/unwillingly, that Carol is for Daryl the equivalent of Michonne for Rick. Unlike you, i dont consider their stories to be that different. The only difference is canon. Apart from that, for example, as soon as they arrived in Alexandria, Richonne lived together with Carl and Judith. And guess what? Caryl did the same. Until, for God knows why, they had her kind of move in with Tobin. But i disgress. And its ok to disagree.

But it never crossed Amc etc... minds, unlike some shippers would have wanted, to have a carzekiel spin off, or a donnie one. There ks a reason for that. Can u imagine a spin off centered on Rick and anyone else than Michonne? Same for Daryl. Its not Connie or whoever who is gonna save Daryl or whatever. Its Carol.

Caryl might stay forever platonic and never go canon, but i think its safe to assume that at the end of it all (either end of s2 or in another show once everybody reunited with Rick), they re gonna leave together. New Mexico on a bike could still happen.

As for CP character, i think its also safe to assume that they didnt kiss in s1 wich is done filming. If they had, we would have heard abt it by now (there have been a few spoiling photos for other spin offs.... without spoiling too much myself for u or ur readers, even if i think you dont care since you dont plan to watch).

I dont think we have to worry abt Isabel or Isobel or whatever. Yes, he's going to question his loyalty blablabla, but its not gonna last.Have a lot of other things to say, but its too long already. Will wait for another time!

Hi back. Just a heads up, you brought up a few points that I feel strongly about, so if it sounds like I'm yelling at you, I'm not. Like you said, we can disagree, and I look forward to hearing more of your thoughts.

Carol saving Daryl means she'll be active and she'll have a strong emotional drive, so I support that as well. There are still ways to distinguish Caryl's and Richonne's arcs, but I ultimately don't care if it turns out both shows have the women saving the men's asses which then lead to beautiful reunions. If that concerns AMC, then they probably should've stuck to the original premise for the Caryl spinoff. If there's a chance to circle back to the idea of Caryl going on a road trip together like fans wanted in the first place, that would be exciting. I'm all for it.

But just because we can draw parallels between the two couples, even though we can acknowledge that Daryl is in love with Carol just like Rick is in love with Michonne and vice versa, that doesn't mean their stories are the same. They're not. They don't share the same histories or the same experiences or the same traumas. They came together in different ways and they've grown together in different ways. Apples and oranges.

You're right that I won't watch S1 of le spinoff, and that's for a few reasons. One, because I don't condone how it came to exist in the first place. Two, because I want to close the significant pay gap between Norman and Melissa. Three, because it's obvious it won't respect Caryl's relationship or Daryl's character. It doesn't matter that he and CP's character won't actually get together or kiss, etc. What matters is the fact that AMC will tease the shit out of it like they did with Daryl's three other younger non love interests, which subjects Melissa to more ageism even if she's not involved in the story and subjects Caryl fans to more misery even if they don't watch. Melissa's/Carol's absence is going to hang over the show no matter what.

It's infuriating that AMC does so much for their male stars/EP's, more than most of them deserve, but they have no problem throwing the women to the wolves. It's infuriating if they still assume they can take advantage of Caryl/Carol fans' loyalty by playing the same manipulative games they have been for years without delivering on their promises, one of those promises being (unambiguous!) canon. Caryl were written to be romantic, whether their haters want to see that or not. It's important for story integrity, for Daryl's and Carol's character growth, and for onscreen representation. I can't give AMC my viewership/subscription if nothing changes.

[bridgyrose]

More of that divorced White Rose AU? How will Ruby and Ilia's date go?

(Probably as well as you'd expect)

Ruby sat in the cafe, tapping her coffee mug as she waited for Ilia to arrive. Her heart pounded in her chest as she glanced at her watch, a heavy sigh leaving her as she realized how early she had shown up. She never imagined Ilia would agree to a date like this, much less at a place like this. Her heart stopped for a moment when she saw Ilia walk in, slowly standing up and waving to her. “I-Ilia! Over here!” 

Ilia smiled and walked over, taking a chair across from Ruby. “Sorry I’m late, had a little trouble finding this place.” 

“No, its fine, I uh… I got here early.” Ruby sat back down and messed with her coffee, tapping on the side of her mug as she avoided looking at Ilia. “Thank you for meeting me here.” 

“I do have to admit, I was surprised Blake asked if I was okay with being set up on a blind date, but knowing that it’s you…” Ilia blushed a bit. “I think that’s worth it.” 

Ruby paused and looked up at her. “She didnt tell you it was with me?” 

“Not exactly, just that it was with someone who had recently divorced.” Ilia stopped and looked away, her skin starting to turn blue. “Sorry, I shouldnt have brought that up-” 

“No, its fine. Weiss and I… it should bother me, but it doesnt.” Ruby took a sip of her coffee and stared at her reflection as she sat the mug down, slowly remembering the conversation she and Weiss had before everything was final. She nervously moved in her seat, trying to get herself a bit more calm as she turned her gaze back to Ilia. “But enough about that. I want to know more about you. I’ll admit, I dont know enough and I… I want to see if we can make this work.” 

“Make this work?” 

“This… date.” Ruby sighed and leaned back. “Because I… have no idea what I’m doing right now.” 

Ilia smiled a bit. “Has it really been that long since you’ve been on a date?” 

“Weiss and I didnt so much as date as grow close due to circumstance. You spend four years training with someone, getting to know them, learning their deepest desires and darkest secrets… you tend to forgo dating and just sorta… get together.” 

“I get that.” Ilia said as she took a drink of water. “Its the same in the White Fang. You grow close to those you train with, make relationships that sometimes transcend friendship. But sometimes, those relationships just lead you deeper into mistakes.” 

“I… I guess you can say that.” 

“All you can do is move forward, right?” 

Ruby blushed as she felt Ilia’s hand on her own, her eyes glancing down and then to Ilia as her skin changed back to its normal shade. A smile started to cross her lips as she slowly pulled her hand back. “So… want to get out of here and find somewhere else to go?” 

“Where did you have in mind?” Ilia asked. 

“I know a quiet library we can go to. Small, secluded, quiet… a place that will let us be us.” 

“Or… we can go to my place.”

Ruby practically sputtered as she watched Ilia turn a bright shade of pink, her own blush deepening. “Y-your place?” 

“I know its a bit sudden-” 

“Yes!” Ruby cleared her throat and took a drink of her coffee, nearly choking when she forgot how hot it was and wincing as she swallowed. “Y-yes, I’d… I’d love to go with you to your place.”

“Really?” 

“Of course. It’ll give us a chance to get to know each other and figure things out.” 

Ilia smiled and stood up, taking Ruby’s hand. “Then I’ll show you a good time.”

[kissmetwicekissmedeadly]

✨ Napoleon's route in Run Away With Me story event (01/23-01/31) highlights ✨ -- boredom as a proof of peace

Ngl my first reaction was "of course, because his handwriting is such a mess she recognizes it right away..." which is.... something not canon as far as i know (?) but have you seen irl napo's handwriting? Disaster! Well, since his signature on the in-game letters is the same, i guess his handwriting is the same too 🤔 Lol now im imagining mc standing in front of the door for ages trying to read the note 😂

He's....even more of a bully in this event. Surprising her from behind is one thing, but he doesn't miss teasing her about being easy to surprise either 😭

he says that later on too! After successfully switching the key in her pocket with a brooch without her noticing

Her comment about him being like a magician 🤭 he truly outdid himself and it's quite cheesy... Im glad that he addressed that part. But he said it's not like himself to be cheesy...?! are you sure about that

As a whole in this event i noticed a lot of stuff brought up again later on and basically happening twice and I LOVE it, as strange as it is to be impressed by that. It's like, mc says she feels like a princess - i gawk, then towards the end napo picks her up "like a princess" - "OH he treats her REALLY like a princess!!!🥺" that way these things really make a strong impression and stay with you don't they.....

In that line of thought, what's with him and kidnapping all of a sudden?

Maybe the broke the fourth wall and started ironizing the overuse of kidnaping in the game fkkdfnkdkf next thing you know he claims to be under the influence of an aphrodisiac everytime youre are about to do it

I love how secretive he was about the whole thing, it's really his style ever since his route to organize surprise dates like that...and it gives him one too many opportunities to show his "cool" side (sudden fireworks? Dunno nunuche, it must be magic.) and to tease her endlessly.... In the end it turns out it's another of his heroic acts that lead to the villa being rented to him ...and he couldn't refuse when the owner suggested enjoying the fireworks to be shoot off with a lover 🥺❤️

Still the most important part of it is coming to the realization that boredom is a proof of peace. Coming from Napoleon who has long dreamed of peace and finally found it in MC, it's even more special. Who else is gonna see you doing mundane chores and bring out a positive side of it: being used to a life that once seemed so alien, and even dangerous 😭 he's good at seeing certain situations - even the most simple moments of everyday life- in depth and under different angles and interpreting them in a way so they have some sort of correlation to his deepest feelings. Nope, being cheesy surely isn't like him, nooo

His emotional maturity is always showing in such situations and it's part of what makes his character so great in my opinion. Being cool and romantic and thoughtful and charming and a dozen others is just a nice plus

And even after that, he's still ready to fight off her boredom in whatever way he can...hence the "I'll kidnap you anytime" part 🤭🤭 he's always so creative, i can't imagine feeling bored for long with him as a lover

----

I didnt get to see the other branch because someone forgot to log in and use her stamina 😭😭😭 maybe I'll find a way to see it, i also have the epilogue yet to see ( still emotionally and financially recovering from the 500 dia spent on it) but i can safely call it one of his best event stories so far... It felt of great importance about seeing their progress as a couple while still being a classy napo experience ™ 10/10

[iwillstealyoursalt]

Characters for a project I've been working on for a bit

Quick Note: There are two non-made characters, and also this project was originally supposed to be a fighting game but like i dont have the coding knowledge for that so it might be a comic or askblog or something idk the only thing ik for sure is that itll have multiple characters and that a certain character who i havent modeled yet has just been grabbing people from random worlds and putting them here. ik its not the most original plot but shush These are being shown from Oldest to Newest! also be warned these names are VERY bad since they were supposed to be placeholders but i got too attached ALSO ONE OF THE CHARACTERS IS MADE OF RAW MEAT, CARTOONY SIMPLIFIED BLOCKY RAW MEAT BUT BE AWARE STARTING WITH JEWELLE!

shes uh,,, there ig. her torso was supposed to be kinda like a ring but that didnt show too well in the final design. She'd probably be a fast character reliant on slowly chipping away her opponent's health if it ends up as a fighting game

Then theres this ghost who's both unnamed and not rigged since this is actually a redesign (the old design was BAD) so shes not posed

I imagine she'd have a gimmick where the lil statue inside her chest is the only thing that can be hit THEN THERES THE LEGALLY MANDATED JOKE CHARACTER SMOOCHITHA THE 9TH

yeah she uh,,,,,, she exists

Also there's Cadence (Also a remodel but i had the energy to rig & pose her)

She'd probably be tankier and rely more on status effects

Silica!

She'd probably be a glass cannon or something my brain is goopifying by the minute im sorry Salmonella

sje uhm,,,, she uh uhhmm she uhhhhhhhh Then there's Alexandria

Since I LOVE characters with symbol faces I tried to give her one but uhhhh it didnt turn out as intended. it was supposed to look like a scribble bc of his writing theme but it just looks like she has a line for a face aiosdaoisdioasd. anyways she'd mostly be a sorta trap-builder sorta character i guess idk how else to describe it

Then there's Gingersnap! (be warned she was modeled bc she was on the list of characters I said I would model but hadn't yet and I wanted that list to be smaller so she's a bit rushed. yes this makes a likely remodel candidate sorry)

she'd be a tankier heavy-hitter sorta character or something im tired

OHNO I WAS ABOUT TO GRAB SOMETHING FOR A BONUS IMAGE BEFORE REALISING I FORGOT ABOUT ANDROMEDA

yeah uhhhh i think her kit would be pretty funky and weird but if you use her right she could be pretty strong,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, yeah Anyways de-smooched smoochitha as a bonus

[celestie0]

ELLIEIEIEIEIE hi 💗💗

bae you should’ve HEARD the squeal i let out when you posted 😭 i like rolled around on my bed and kicked my feet for a good minute or two IM SO GLAD YOUR BACK BAEEE 💗

also bae omg im realizing how many mistakes i made on my most recent ask omg its so embarrassing 😭😭 im assuming you understood what i meant tho? 😭 IN MY DEFENSE I WAS ON THE TRAIN SO IT WAS BUMPY AND I DIDNT WANT PPL SEEING MY PHONE 🫠 like have you ever been in public and then someones looking over at your phone?? SHIT HAPPENS TOO OFTEN I SWEAR.

bae missing gojo so bad rn i turned to character ai 😓

anyway do u remember C?? yeah so i confessed and uh 🧍‍♀️he kinda just brushed it off and brought up another girl 😭 BUT GET THIS. THE OTHER GIRL IS ONE OF MY CLOSEST FRIENDS. like imagine you’re texting a girl who’s been your friend SINCE YOU WERE KIDS and KNOWING she has a crush on you and then you still bring up one of her closest friends relationship status. LIKE??? i’m being so fr when i say this i cried. i called my friend D in TEARS after i finished talking to C and D was just like “yo wait what happened?” and then i had to explain AND IT TURNS OUT C HAD BEEN ASKING ABOUT MY FRIEND FOR A WHILE. they danced together once at a party and apparently hes had a crush on her ever since??

okay but enough abt C,, hes an asshole and i never want to speak to him again (i still like him very much and i still need him but im tryna cope lolol) 💗 how’ve u been bae?? i hardly ever send in asks anymore so i feel like we don’t interact as often 😞 omg bae do u have any show recommendations?? i’ve been dying to watch something new lately but all the shows my friends recommend are ones i’ve seen already 😓😓

anyway bae thats all 💗 i hope you were doing well on your hiatus (even though it was short!) and i can’t wait for the next kickoff update ‼️ byebye and i love uuuu

-🦌

hiii my lovely <33 OMG you're too fucking sweet i swear you make me smile everytime i see you in my inbox. yes it's nice to be back i missed everyone lots :'') i still might take it a lil easy tho haha i realized during my hiatus i've gotta just spend less time on tumblr between my fic updates kdjfhsdkfjl

haha yes i hate when ppl look at screens. but i always used to look at people's screens during lectures in college to see what they're up to and what they're ordering on amazon HAHA i guess it's human nature to be nosey asf

omg NOOOO babe that's horrendous fuck C i'm so sorry you went through that :(( you deserve sm better than that. aww bb whatever helps you cope is valid, but i do think that maybe it's time to let C go...you confessed n did what you could, and even if he didn't like you back, he should've treated your confession w care n respect. the way he reacted is major red flag!! i'm sorry though, i know you've known him a long time, so that has to be really tough to go through :'') chin up bb, i promise you'll find better guys out there that will treat you w the care you deserve

i've been okay!! i had my last day of work on thursday which was kind of bittersweet, i cried in front of my PI LOL (he's an old german man and he's always been very sweet to me n i'm really gonna miss him aaa) i had social plans the past couple of days which was fun but i'm kind of an introvert so i spent today recharging my social batter haha.

ooo i've been watching bojack horseman recently!! i like it, it's funny and realistic, but i've heard it becomes a total shitshow (not as in it becomes a bad show, it's still a great show BUT the characters kinda stress you out)...i really like it, i've been recommending it to people! i like shows that are kind of cynical commentaries w an overlay of comedy though HAHA so if you're into that too, i'd recommend it. if you wanna watch a really good romance show, i'd recommend 'one day' on netflix!! it's like a slow burn friends to lovers, and the acting in it was phenomenal. no spoilers but i will give a heavy angst warning.

thanks bb!! yes my hiatus was good haha i appreciate you sm <33 love u tooooo darling

[vero-niche]

UNSURPRISING AND BORING??? HAZUGSÁG! TELL ME ABOUT IT ACTUALLY!!!

(context: this ask was sent by my dear mutual after i reblogged a post about what my special interest is, which is films and filmmaking that i called those things)

fjhfjvhnfkc im so sorry for not replying to this sooner, it's been haunting me since that day bc first i was like "i will answer from desktop bc this is gonna be a long one" and then... i didnt. anyway, im just gonna start rambling and hit post at some point when i run out of steam, enjoy 💞

edit: whoops better put All That under a read more lmao

note: by movie/film i also mean animation, tv shows, anime, etc

so, it all started when i was little.... we were living mostly in a small village in northern hungary, no access to cinemas or such but my dad started working at a tv station in the capital when i was like... idk. small

anyway, he had access to The Internet and pirated movies and brough home burned VHS tapes.... i loved fiction ever since i remember and movies were no different. saw a lot of disney and other stuff, mum says i rewatched a lot of them a lot of times.... as an undiagnosed adhd+autism kid these movies were my main source of obsession.

as many in my generation, i grew to love reading a bit later after i saw the first h*rry p*tter movie and read the book but even then and ever since as well my imagination works kinda like a movie. i imagine certain shots and angles, even tho for the most part my imagination is as fuzzy as my thoughts.

also on the part of the audhd, i was basically self medicating with movies. stressed? watch a movie. sensory overload? movie (or later on, music). feeling shit? movie. it kind of works like a factory reset of my brain if the film is good. i guess because for 1,5-2,5 hours i am completely focused on one thing in a way thats not exhausting to me.

during elementary, i was in a friend group that i got in because we were in the same not school related drawing group (rajzszakkör yknow) and basically all 4 of us were a bit too neurodivergent there i think 😄 anyway, somehow when i first got a phone with camera, we started doing little "sketches" (and me with my then best friend separately too). then two of those friends came up with a short movie idea, a mockumentary about the iconic "twin towers" of the town we lived in (and hated). the 4 of us filmed and played all parts, right there in the city, and one of us edited it. it turned out quite.... well, like a shitpost lmao. so, naturally, we got quite hooked but esp me and one other friend (who is now an acclaimed theatre director btw. lol)

anyway, so we did several of these short movies + i did several sketches and other stuff with all kinds of friends in the coming years, all through about mid-high school years...

for several reasons, despite it being the obvious choice, i didnt end up going to film major at uni but chose english studies. i don't regret it, but my place wouldve been at the film major tbh....

anyway, i decided to give up my filmmaking dreams... but yknow, special interests dont wotk that way lmao.

i kept watching movies with a critical mind, such as "oh this shot is good" or "this shot is too long, they should've cut it a few seconds earlier" or "oh, they are using xy technique here" and once you start looking at movies from a filmmaker point of view, theres just no turning back (or off). i think i majorly watch anime in my spare time now bc i analyze what i see less than with live action stuff.

so like. idk what my point here is. i listen to soundtracks of movies i loved, not just the ones with lyrics but the background music too. i love rewatching and dissecting parts. after seeing a new one that i loved i headstraight to imdb to the crew and trivia section, i watch/read interviews, check box office numbers even and stare in awe when they show a special technique or smg they used.

and i mainly always thought "well i just have a passion for it but its nothing that outstanding, right? people look these stuff up when then love smg, right?" well. 😶

then not too long ago i realized im not only adhd but autistic as well. and that the reason why this passion (and need to be involved in the making) never really left, even when i myself gave up on it, is bc its my special interest.

so now im slowly approaching crossroads bc on the one hand i have a stable corporate job with good routines at home. but on the other if i dont "give in" to my special interest i feel my soul will wither. but also im sososcared 👍

in summary:

[samejimamitsunari]

Hi! its anon again :,D I'm thinking about J&A again... as much as I hope for more material for them I wonder what they can really do story-wise... I've been pretty sad about them from jins birthday up until the cover song annoucement and while im deliriously happy that they're getting a cover song but it feels like everything we get about them is just out of pity or small font last minuite stuff, idk even the cards they use in the promo art is turning 5 yrs old this year.. sometimes i just think to myself "what can they really do with them storywise?" they've done the whole revival event thing and while i feel like theres a million and one things I want to learn about them I still cant help but feel a bit doomed about the future of their characters

hey anon! thank you for your ask!

i totally get you. all of your concerns have been mine as well for a pretty long time! and it’s so true that most of the things done for them are out of pity lol (they only got shinsekai cards because happyele didnt want sora to be the only 3* card). ever since es2 era, genuine relevancy has been scarce but there were Some good things that came out of this era.

personally, i believe theres still so much they can explore with jin and akiomi as characters and their past. some might argue that we already know so much about them, but really. i feel like thats only in the case of jin. and even then, there’s a lot we don’t know about what happens behind the scenes (see: good-for-nothing son and bad teacher 2).

there’s potential, especially with akiomi. portrait has provided so much insight of how she operated within the modeling industry, her perception of the entertainment industry as a whole, and her initial goals. as well as giving explicit information about her family and showing how she took care of model trio. but as far as the intricacies of akiomi’s idol career, we only have pretty vague information about it. yes, we know that akiomi’s career flopped horribly due to super idol sagami jin’s reign. we know that she wanted to stand by his side, but was swept away by the new unit system the idol industry adapted to. akiomi worked substantially hard to be where jin was at, but realized hard work was not the only factor that took into account of success.

but i think there’s more meat on the bones! what can we say about akiomi’s unit? what kind of unit were they? how did they treat each other? can we speculate that akiomi’s cold behavior towards her previous unit due to not only just it getting in the way of grasping the super idol status, but also because the other members outcasted her? resented her? that’s what i’ve been curious about the most. she also mentions a “friend” she has in the beginning of guilty of perjury. it’s most likely a detail that should be overlooked since it’s minor, but i wonder about akiomi’s social life or if she even has one that she has to balance with work.

i mean. they could still come up with some other shit for jin and akiomi, i believe they can. but, i’m focusing more on what’s been lacking for a while.

one thing i would like to point out though, before i talk about the next part, is regarding jin & akiomi as a unit. officially, jin & akiomi is listed as an unofficial unit. and this is easily notable that they have never performed with each other. “but what about in rainbow?” within project saga, jin and akiomi performed within rain-bows and ba-barrier, not as jin & akiomi. there were no mentions of the unit. and even though rainbow stairway IS the song associated with that event, sure we can assume that they performed it during project saga, but we all know that it’s merely for happyele’s real life marketing purposes. speaking of that, yeah. jin & akiomi is meant for real life marketing purposes considering they are the only adult characters with singing voices. therefore, happyele wants to capitalize off of what little fans they have. very… rarely i guess. anyways

here’s what i could imagine them doing if they wanted to do an event with jin and akiomi. firstly, i believe it would be extremely ideal to put them in a tour event. there wouldnt be a song happyele would have to worry about. this would also clear up anything about jin and akiomi not being an official unit within the canon enstars storyline. and typically, bloomed card illustrations for events show the characters in their idol outfits performing on stage right? they dont Have to make the bloomed illustration a current era jin/akiomi card. they Could use their younger selves. for instance maybe an illustration of young idol akiomi performing alone but the unbloomed is her current self. just like how the guilty of perjury cards are set up. it’s honestly not impossible. and not all tour events have to have paid mv outfits (ie. obbligato). they Could bring up things about their past still and give more commentary of how the previous system operated and how the transition affected hard-working idols like akiomi in more detail.

this is very akiomi-centric since its objectively fair for her to receive more content in this era. (i’m jinP) but in terms of uncovering more of jin’s story i mean. same would apply. don’t have too many thoughts about it. mainly because jin already has a 5*.

but in terms of a song event. actually. even if we have all these plot holes such as jin&akiomi unit inconsistencies, anything could happen. a song event theoretically could happen whether it be their current selves or younger selves. how? SSVRS. it’s a virtual reality system that was created by switch i believe. they used it in the SS story, shinsekai with valkyrie. in which young jin and akiomi showed up. but, it was only their avatar models and it wasn’t jin and akiomi operating it themselves. natsume speculated that jin was the one that gave permission to some strangers to use his old super idol sagami jin model, but only under the condition that idol era akiomi would perform alongside his avatar as well. he concluded that jin wanted to see them perform as their younger selves since they were never able to and found solace through the VR system.

a pretty OP system within the story would be good news for us senseiPs, but happyele obviously isnt that great with implementing the senseis in anything, aren’t they? and this isnt even the last time they used SSVRS because the mv for believe 4 leaves takes place in SSVRS. so obviously, they are capable of making something like that for jin and akiomi. given maybe they want to make models for their younger selves or new outfits for their current 3d models.

there was one last thing that was the most important factor for me that left me delusional for so long and it’s the main reason why i still believe an event could happen. i’ve mentioned this many times on twitter (though i feel like i’ve mentioned these things in general a lot on that site), but it’s the lack of accessibility to jin and akiomi’s homescreen winter outfits. these outfits were officially shown in antique legend around the end of january 2021. normally, if they werent going to have cards to unlock these outfits, homescreen outfits like these would be unlockable through the ES coin shop easily. however, after almost 2 years, we still can’t unlock them. this is why i believe that eventually, they’ll get cards within an event so we can unlock them through their idol roads. a former delusion was also the fact that fusionic stars and surprising thanks official unit covers were typically released with new unit song album cds. and i assumed that jin and akiomi would eventually get one so their official mixes would come out (like the ensemble taisou album). but it’s been 2 years. i don’t know. but yeah. it’s these outfits that have been dictating it all for me.

“it could be the fact that happyele could’ve forgot!” sure, they forget the senseis sometimes. but you have to remember that when jin and akiomi’s old es1 teacher outfits were displayed in a story, they were immediately released in the ES coin shop. when the shinsekai cards came out, only their idol era outfits were unlockable. when portrait akiomi was released, only middle school akiomi outfit was unlockable. therefore, what makes the winter outfits an exception? we even have birthday editions for their winter outfits (bc they were born in winter) but not even the original ones? it’s strange. it drives me nuts. but its one of the shreds of hope i have for anything jin and akiomi related.

anyways, yeah. these are crazy mental gymnastics i go through on a daily. i am somehow hopeful for this year though. for sure, we are getting a new jin card so i’m looking forward to that. and i don’t think this will happen but i hope jin and akiomi get their own personalized outfits and mv for their new cover song. did you see that the song they’re covering is a gay pride song? i cried

here’s to 2023 being the year we could probably get something as good as portrait again