#well all throughout but like when she finally wins drag queen of america

[loverboybrightsideghost]

to wong foo is the movie ever

[quokkacore]

LIBERALITY: starshine [oh sehun] (m)

part II of all your gods are fake

summary: sehun gives you what he can, but it’s never easy. you have to work for it as well, but effort pays off, and he rewards you so kindly.

pairing: freedomfighter!sehun x reader

genre: smut, angst, fluff, light horror towards the end?

warnings: language, descriptions of war, descriptions of cults, mentions of violence, shibari, thigh riding, handjobs, reader has nipple piercings, sensory deprivation (blindfolds and ties), seizures, knives

song rec: rosalia & ozuna - yo x ti, tu x mi ♡ taemin - never forever

word count: 4.3k

a/n: this was originally posted to my old writing blog on may 9th, 2020. if you would like to be on the taglist, pls send me an ask or a message! <3 

masterlist

He was getting agitated. You could tell this much.  

It was already bad enough that the meeting so far had lasted for over an hour and a half, but now the tension of the situation was finally settling in, as everyone realized that it was finally here.

The last stronghold. Or so they believed. Or so he believed.

The meeting was only for the highest ranking officials of the resistance, people who The Brotherhood knew they could trust—the plan was far too important to risk it falling into the hands of The Sect of Seven at the hands of double agents.

The plan that, if executed correctly, could turn the tides and cause the downfall of the Sect.

You watched, leaning against the wall as Junmyeon, leader of The Brotherhood and face of the resistance towered over the war table, talking about possible strategies to take the last major neutral city and also take control of the country.

The Sect of Seven had existed for years before the war began—its existence spanned across centuries, millenia, even; dating back to the year The Prophecy of Brothers Alike was first proclaimed in the late twelfth century, and remained strong even almost a whole century after The Great Collapse of 2050, when global society had collapsed due to war, famine and climate disasters.

Then the war broke out, some ten years ago, when the first two brothers of the Fated Fourteen first made themselves known, springing the Sect’s violent plans into action.

Since then, the resistance had been built up by The Brotherhood’s efforts, both capturing strategic cities and territories across North America. The Sect was based in the desert, with the Sanctuary based in what was once Los Angeles, their control spanning across what was western Mexico, the american south, and half of the northwest.

The resistance was based higher north, in the Citadel, which used to be Chicago, territories consisting of parts of southern Canada, the rockies, the northern midwest and what remained of the Peninsula of Yucatan. Places like Greenland, the southern east coast and northern canadian territories had either been destroyed during the collapse or had since been reclaimed by extreme climate and nature.

The only major territory that remained uncaptured by either sides, the place where many had fled to avoid getting caught in the crossfire, was the northern west coast, and that was controlled by Washington DC.

The very spot the resistance was now planning to take.

Your eyes floated up towards Sehun, who was standing right next to Junmyeon, who was now listening to Chanyeol and Baekhyun discuss the logistics of a peaceful invasion.

“Overall, I think we still need time to form a solid strategy,” Baekhyun said, “Jongdae needs to get in contact with The Agate Sisters for some more weapons—”

“Which is not very easy, might I add—” Jongdae interjected.

“And even before that…” Junmyeon’s voice was loud, taking command of the situation, “Sehun.”

All eyes in the room fell to the youngest member of The Brotherhood.

Oh Sehun. The Oracle.

Sehun had become known to the world two years after Suho and Junmyeon were proclaimed the first two brothers of the prophecy, the same time as his twin brother. Being so young, his ability of both interpreting and creating prophecies was a sight to behold, both terrifying and morbidly fascinating.

You’d known him since he and his brother were children, before the three of you realized what the future held in store—pain and suffering for Sehun and you, and nothing but pleasure and debauchery for Sehün.

“Do you think you could consult with the spirits for a minor prophecy? Or any other interpretations of the prophecy?”

Sehun shifted in his stance, leaning back and forth. “I need time.” His voice was firm and gravelly as he crossed his arms, immersed in thought. “My most recent auguries have revealed to me that DC is the last stronghold that the prophecy is talking about. But I can’t be a hundred percent sure. Prophecies love to play mind games. We all know that.”  

“Is there anything we have to be wary of when it comes to the prophecy? Double entendres, stuff like that?” Yixing asked, even though everyone in the room had heard the god-forsaken prophecy more than enough times throughout the past few years.

Sehun sighed, but closed his eyes and nodded anyway. A dramatic tension settled over the room, and Sehun began to speak.

“Cometh a day when seven sets of twins, be opposite ends of both virtue and sin—why am I going over this again, we all know this,” He huffed.

“Please just continue,” Baekhyun mumbled.

“Ugh, fine. Bearing eyes of blue and eyes of brown, cometh to tear the last stronghold down—” Sehun rolled his eyes, frustration evident in his expression. “The term stronghold has always been somewhat questionable. The prophecy was first declared in 1176, right? Early Modern English wouldn’t become a thing for another three hundred years, so most of this stems from Middle English. Some interpret stronghold as fort, or base, or holy land…”

Jongdae raised his hand before speaking, eyes flashing in alarm as he interrupted Sehun’s tangent. “Wait, wait, if others have translated it as holy land, then—”

“The Sanctuary.”

Junmyeon’s voice was quiet, but still commanded a heavy presence across the room, as a profound silence spread across the space.

“That means that the final battle could be in Los Angeles, on their turf. That would put us at a major disadvantage. We’re already at a major disadvantage.” The leader’s eyebrows were furrowed, using both hands to lean on the table as he made the connection.

The dread that followed was thick and suffocating, and you took the opportunity to speak up, wishing to rid the room of the anxiety gathering.

“But think about the implications of fighting the final battle in The Sanctuary. It would have to mean that we’ve managed to push them back sufficiently to the point where we feel confident invading their home base. Which we wouldn’t do unless we knew that we had a high possibility of winning.”

All eyes fell to you, and you crossed your arms, before meeting Sehun’s gaze. The look in his eyes was something akin to gratitude, being able to lift the sudden darkness. You lifted your hand to gesture back at Sehun. “Continue.”

He nodded, gaze stern. “Perhaps lovers lost to a most wicked brother, bringeth vengeance and hellfire upon one another… Loss could mean one of two things. Betrayal or death. But the rest of those two lines imply that the side that does the taking will suffer because of what they’ve done. That means that for now, none of us lay hands on any of the Sanctuary Queens, and those of us who have them, keep our partners close… Beware ye who heed this, for I warn thee now: suffer shall those who carelessly bow.”

“It has to be them,” A girl, Sasha, declared, “They’ve been lying to their followers for years—”

“That could mean anything. You know that.” Sehun’s voice was rough, eyes trained on the map that had been carved into the table.

A silence hung over the room, tension palpable as everyone remembered what the stakes were. These were lives and people’s free wills on the line, indescribable anguish promised by a prophecy written centuries ago to people who didn’t truly know their leaders. The end was near, but the outcome was nowhere near foreseeable.

“I’ll… I’ll try and do some more smoke readings.” It struck you how tired he sounded, watching as he rubbed his eyes with his thumb and index finger, “Maybe I’ll ask the spirit of the Oracle for a specific prophecy on DC. For now, we just have to be cautious. Watch for any suspicious activity here in the citadel and listen to intelligence reports. Jongin, you’ve got your moles at the Sanctuary, right?”

Jongin nodded, gaze dark. “Yeah. I’m meeting with Ren in two weeks. She’s the best of the best. I’ll see what she has for us.”

Junmyeon straightened his posture, everyone quieting when he opened his mouth to speak.

“I think that’s enough worrying about that for today,” He declared, sounding grim, “Before we go, you all know that not a single word is to leave this room. This is highly classified information. Meeting adjourned.”

You watched everyone file out of the room, hoping to speak to Sehun, yet somehow didn’t catch when he left. You got the feeling that that was what he intended.

So you left too, resolving to see him that night.

—

Sehun’s room was easy to find, seeing as how it was right across the hall from yours, in the large apartment building the heads of the resistance had settled into. You knocked on his door, sighing when you didn’t hear any response. You tried one more time, then another time, finally a third time, before letting your head fall frustratedly against the wood of the door.

“Hun, I know you’re in there… please let me in.”

You heard muffled sounds of shuffling from behind the door, pulling your head away to lean it against the doorframe. Waiting, you strained your ears for a noise, hearing the occasional sound.

Eventually, you heard the telltale sound of heavy footsteps being dragged across the floor. You pursed your lips, waiting for the door to open, wondering what you would see when it did.

The door swung open slowly, and you were met with a tall figure, hunched over as he peered down at you. The exhaustion in his gaze was palpable, and you felt your heart clench in sympathy.

Sehun was 25 now. He was made known to the public some nine years ago, and on top of it all, he was the Oracle. Interpretations of any and all prophecies were up to him, a sixteen year old boy who had just discovered he was destined to spend the rest of his life fighting against his own brother, something that tore his family apart.

He was a child.

And now, here he stood, looking too worn, too hopeless for someone so young. His eyes had seen horrors he was much too young to see. Life had eaten away at the glow he’d had when you were both younger. The dark circles underneath his eyes were so pronounced, you’d think he hadn’t slept since he was a baby. His short, dark hair was greasy. You wondered if he’d been taking care of himself properly.

“Do you need anything?” His voice was raspy, quiet. You looked at him, brown eyes met yours. Your heart clenched. Here he was, mentally exhausted, and the first thing he said to you wasn’t a hello, but rather, asking quietly if you needed anything.

“Can I come inside?” You asked sheepishly, and he blinked for a second, before nodding, opening the door more for you to pass. “Go ahead.”

You stepped past him, into the hallway of his small apartment. The smell of incense invaded your nose, and you frowned. He closed the door, and crossed his arms. “What’s going on, Y/N?”

“Are you okay? You looked so tired today, you look tired now.”

“I’m fine—"

“Are you sure?”

“Yes.”

You refused to let him keep it all to himself. “Sehun…”

He leaned against the wall, head bowed, and you mirrored his stance, standing against the wall as well, but you didn’t look away. “Y/N, I can’t deal with that right now. People need me.”

“Sehun, you can’t force yourself like this, you’ve told me that yourself—"

“I have to make this work. I can’t fail like last time, not if DC is what we think it is.”

You sighed, taking a step forward, resting a hand on his arm. He glanced at it briefly, then raised his head to look at you. You said nothing, but guided him to sit down on the couch, and you sat next to him.

“Sehun,” You said, voice quiet, “DC is nothing but puppets right now pretending they’re actually doing anything. We have our puppets, the sect have theirs. You can’t be sure that a place like that is what determines whether we’re doomed or not. You said it yourself, there are so many possibilities that DC isn’t the place we’re thinking about.”

He took a few deep breaths, nodding to your words before rubbing his eyes with his thumb and index finger. He looked strained, and you moved to sit closer to him.

“Everything is so fucked up,” Sehun whispered, and you nodded in agreement. “I feel like everything is out of control. Like I can’t do anything about it. Meanwhile, Sehün—"

“Sehün has people who think he’s a god obeying his every whim, just like the rest of those—those idiots.“ Your voice was quiet, but firm, refusing to allow him to compare himself to his brother, "The only reason they look so polished and seem to have everything under control is they only leave the Sanctuary when they absolutely need to, to save face. They feel like they’re above everyone else.”

You took Sehun’s hand, carefully removing his worn, black glove before cradling it in your smaller hand, as if it were incredibly fragile. His eyes met yours, and you gave him a sad smile.

“The Brotherhood, on the other hand… You only use that title for formality’s sake. Yes, you’re all the leaders, but you see yourselves as equal to the rest of us. All of you are out there with us, on the front lines. You’re tired because you give everything you have to serve this cause, my love. You feel that everything is out of control because… well, it is. Lady Fate is a tricky one, we all know that. But you feel it even more because you’re dealing with it head on, not from some sparkly throne on a golden pedestal.”

Sehun’s eyes glittered with several emotions you couldn’t pinpoint, but you could see fondness in them. He leaned forward, pressing a kiss to the top of your head. “Starshine,” He mumbled into your hair, before resting his chin on the crown of your head, “Where would I be without you.”

You hummed, before allowing your eyes to flutter shut, and the two of you sat in silence for what seemed like hours. You reflected back to when you and Sehun both realized your feelings for one another, after a devastating battle in Salt Lake City where Sehun had given his brother the now infamous scar running down the left side of his face, some six years ago. He’d come so close to dying that day, and you’d realized just how important he was to you.

You’d been joined by the hip since you were children, and when the revelation came that he and Sehün were the brothers of liberality and greed respectively, you didn’t hesitate in taking his side, vowing to follow him until the bitter end.

It all made sense to you when you came to Sehun’s sickbed, seeing him resting and bloodied, that you’d actually been in love with the boy for a long time, perhaps ever since you’d first met him. You wouldn’t ever be able to live without him, and apparently, he felt the same way.

In this moral crisis, you were his anchor, his tether to the corporeal plane when his world was on an ethereal one.

Upon all the doubts that everyone had, as to whether the Fated Fourteen were truly gods or if they were simply men with delusions of grandeur chosen by Lady Fate for her cruel entertainment, he felt that you were what reminded him that he was human, that past gods were never truly capable of love or real emotion.

To be capable of loving you was a humbling experience, one that he treasured dearly, especially in moments like this.

“Do you remember what we did the last time you felt like you had no control?” Your voice was a whisper, full of promise and anticipation, as the hand that wasn’t holding his own came to ghost over his thigh. Sehun’s breath hitched, recalling the experience. Roughness against soft, supple skin, restraint and control, you giving yourself entirely to him before he gave himself entirely to you.

“What exactly are you proposing?” He murmured, and you exhaled as one would when they found something amusing, the ghost of a laugh. “You know what I’m proposing, Sehun. Don’t act as if I haven’t seen you teaching Chanyeol to tie his knots when he’s getting ready to go out on a field mission.”

His hand tugged yours towards him, and you moved as he sat back, resting his back against the couch as he helped you straddle his waist. You faced him, realizing with a giggle that he’d turned slightly pink at your accusation.

“Do me a favor,” He said, and you nodded, letting your free hand rest on his shoulder. “Never talk about Chanyeol when you’re trying to get me into bed again. You are the sexiest thing I’ve ever laid my eyes on… Chanyeol, however, is the most unsexy person I’ve ever had the pleasure of knowing.”

Your head tipped back with laughter, and he joined in with you. Your heart, upon hearing this, skipped a beat. You had a hard time recalling when the last he’d laughed was. “I think Sasha would disagree.”

“Yeah, but Sasha isn’t here now, is she? It’s just you and me.” He leaned forward, trapping your waist with his hands and letting his face come close to yours. You watched his eyes flutter down to watch your lips, inches away from yours. You gulped when his lips parted, his tongue peeking out to lick the pink skin.

“So you want me to tie you up. Take control.”

Your hands wrapped around his neck, and you smiled. “Only if you want to tie me up. I want you to have at least one thing you feel you can control.”

Sehun licked his lips again, sighing in amusement as he considered the idea. “Y’know, a few weeks ago, some of the field officers came in with a bunch of fabric they managed to smuggle out of LA…” His tone was quiet, and his hands began trailing downwards, pulling you against him, voice filling you with anticipation. Comfortable fabric was so difficult to come by these days, given that the Sect had taken what were once lavish city districts.

You gasped slightly when your core came into contact with his lap, feeling he was already starting to get hard, and felt your face heat up.  

“I might’ve bought a silk tie or two off of ‘em,” He told you, eyes burning holes into your skin, “Wanted to see what my starshine would look like in pink.”

Your felt your hands tighten of their own volition against the fabric of his black t-shirt, your mind conjuring the mental image. “Fuck, Sehun. W-where’s the jute?”

He flashed a lopsided grin, and you felt the need to smack the smug look off of his face. How he could go from being so serious to this, was beyond you. You personally didn’t believe that The Brotherhood and The Lords of the Sect were gods, but Sehun’s duality, in situations like this, seemed to be supernatural at times, if you dared say so yourself.

He pressed his lips to yours briefly, before lightly nudging you to get off of his lap. “I’ll go get it, baby. Give me a second.”

He stood, catching his breath briefly, before walking down the hall, towards his closet. The hallway was slightly darker, and you stood, striding over to him as he pulled out the rope. He turned to face you, and he quickly cornered you against the wall.

“Shirt off. Bra, too.”

You grinned. “What are you gonna do this time?”

You could vaguely make out his features, but you knew his face was probably twisted up in smug satisfaction. Regardless, you obeyed silently, your chest rising and falling quickly with anticipation.

“Chest harness, for now,” He quipped, “Is that okay?”

You nodded, not breaking eye contact with him as you undressed yourself. You wanted him to realize that you weren’t backing down.

He seemed to read you perfectly, nodding in response to your answer as he watched you pull off the dark fabric, before reaching behind you to unclasp your bra. Even in the dim light of the corridor, you could see how his eyebrows raised and the way his lips parted slightly, lazy gaze falling down to your breasts. You knew what he was gawking at.

The studs embedded in your nipples were a dark stainless steel, glittering, alluring. You’d gotten them on a whim at nineteen from some clandestine tattoo artist on the way back from a field operation. He’d always had a bit of a fascination with them, the way they seemed to twinkle at him underneath the light.

"You gonna stare at me all night or will I have to tie myself up?”

Your playful jab snapped him out of his reverie, and he straightened his posture a few seconds later. “Go stand in front of the bed.” His voice was soft, but still commanding.

You stalked into the dark bedroom, standing in front of where you made the bed out to be. He followed you, before standing behind you. “Are you going to tie my hands up, too?"

"Not yet, starshine,” He declared quietly, into your left ear. You could tell he was untangling the jute, and you pursed your lips in anticipation. “You want to know what I’m about to do to you?”

“You know I do,” You whispered, a confession just for him, before lifting your arms and your hair for him to work.

“Too bad,” He sighed, ”Because I’m not telling you.”

You huffed, but didnt protest.

His arms began to wrap the rope below your ribcage, tightening the jute to the point where you could feel it digging into your skin, but enough to complicate your breathing. Taut, but not torturous. You closed your eyes, sighing quietly as he looped the jute higher up this time, just between your breasts and your collarbones, wrapping back to where he began, in the middle of your back.

The sensation of the rough fibers against your skin was by no means comfortable. It was scratchy and some stray fibers tickled at your chest. But its presence against your skin, the implications of its position and what was to come, was most definitely comforting. Intimacy with Sehun now was rare, you rarely even slept next to each other. But you knew that it wasn’t because of a strain in your relationship.

Sehun had always needed peace of mind and silence when it came to auguries and prophecy readings. Now, with the war coming so close to what seemed to be the end, he needed it more than ever, and the moments you shared with him came to a pause. You didn’t complain—the cause came before your emotions, now and always. But inside you were crying out for him; in concern, in longing, in yearning.

So maybe that’s why when he paused his ministrations and chuckled, tracing a finger down his spine, you whimpered quietly, thighs rubbing together in anticipation. “You have goosebumps,” He said, lips brushing against the shell of your ear.

“It’s been a while,” You answered, and he hummed in response, pressing a soft kiss to your nape. You sighed at the sensation.

“Drop your arms, and turn around to look at me,” Sehun whispered a few seconds later, and with some help from him to maneuver through the rope he was still trying to tie around you, you were able to complete his request.

“You’re so fucking gorgeous.” His voice was throaty, eyes scanning your body as you did the same, eyes landing on the growing bulge in his pants.

“Sehun, please just hurry.”

He shook his head, crooked smile still gracing his face. His hands worked quickly, looping the jute underneath the lowest rope, between your breasts.

“It’s not too tight, is it?” He asked, and you shook your head.

“It’s fine. Not too tight, not too loose.”

He nodded, eyebrows furrowing in concentration. “Okay. Let me know if it becomes too much at any point.”

“I know, Hun.”

Sehun’s dark eyes lifted their gaze from where his hands were working to meet your own, not saying anything. By now, the smile had faded, replaced by a stern look of concentration.

Be still, my heart, you thought, he is so beautiful.

“What?” You whispered, and he blinked.

His response was soft, gentle. “I would fucking die for you.”

You felt your face grow warm, and you lowered your gaze. “Sehun,” You murmured, “I—”

“Sh, sh,” He answered, continuing to tie the rope, “Listen to me, starshine. You’re it for me. There’s never been anyone else. A-and if anything happens, Lady Fate forbid it… There’ll never be anyone else.”

He finished his words as he tied off the final knot, and silently, you stood there, eyes shut as you pressed your forehead to his. For how long, you weren’t sure. Seconds, minutes, eons… Maybe no time had passed at all. You didn’t really care. Moments like these were never long enough, they always ended too soon. Sehun was your elixir of life, your lifeline, and in these moments, you felt immortal, invincible, powerful.

To be able to bring such a man like him to his knees, to be so ready to put himself on the line for you; you were sure it would be your ruin.

You surged forward, wrapping your arms around Sehun’s neck, and he caught you as you pressed your lips to his in a blazing kiss. His arms wrapped around your waist, pulling you impossibly closer. You whined into the kiss, the dark cotton of his t-shirt pressing against your sensitive nipples and their piercings.

“Sehun,” You moaned into the kiss, reaching down to tug at the hem of his shirt. “N-not fair, take it off.”

He hummed, pulling away to comply with your protests, revealing toned skin and the broad shoulders you so adored.

“Is it fair now?” He asked, grabbing your upper arms to pull you closer and press kisses to your collarbones and along your sternum. “I should tie your hands now, maybe then you’ll learn you’re not allowed to touch without my permission.”

“Shut up,” You said, ignoring his declaration as he pushed you onto the bed. You peered up at his broad form, towering over you in the darkness, almost trembling in anticipation, waiting for him to put his hands on you, to make a move.

A few moments later, he finally did, reaching down to pull your pants off, as well as your underwear. He pressed soft kisses to your stomach as he did. When both garments were finally tossed aside, he lifted himself up onto the bed, lips trailing up across your skin. His eyes met yours as he gazed up at you, through you, before pressing his lips to one of your breasts, your sensitive nipples hardening at the contact of his warm mouth against the cool steel embedded in it.

Your head tipped back, eyes fluttering shut, unable to keep eye contact with your lover. One of your hands came up to comb through his dark hair, whimpering as he alternated between your nipples.

“Sehun, mmph, baby…” You murmured, coming back to look at him when he let go and came back to kiss at your jawline.

“Up, starshine,” He ordered, leaving no room for protest, arms wrapping around your waist and hauling you up to sit on his lap. As you squirmed to get comfortable in his grip, one of his hands reached for his nightstand’s drawer, and he pulled out two pastel pink silk ties. Your heart leaped towards your throat in excitement when you registered what these were, hips subconsciously searching for friction against his.

“Sit still,” He huffed as he closed the drawer, before straightening his posture, dwarfing you even sitting beneath you.

Wordlessly, he brought the tie up to your eyes, covering them before tying it at the back of your head with one tie, quickly doing the same to your hands with the other, tying them tightly in front of you.

“Fuck, you’re so pretty,” He mumbled, hands raking from your hair to down your back.

His hands came to grasp at your thighs, propping them so they rested only atop one of his. You felt your core clench at what he was alluding to, inhaling sharply.

“Move your hips, baby,” He said, and you couldn’t bring it in you to deny him.

Another thing you couldn’t do was speak, you found, as you prayed you could maintain your balance and began to slowly rock your hips against the rough fabric of his dark pants and his toned thigh, your bare pussy rubbing listlessly against the coarse fabric. You didn’t mind however, perfectly content to let him speak, murmuring strange hybrids of dirty and sweet things in your ear.

The hot pleasure between your legs seemed to double at the restriction in your ribs and not being able to see or anticipate where his hands or mouth were. You buried your head into the crook of Sehun’s neck, peppering wet, opened kisses against his collarbones, your nails digging into your palms with a vengeance in hopes of anchoring yourself to something.

The movements of your hips soon became capricious, rhythmless, your whimpers becoming louder and louder as he switched between flexing his thigh and bouncing it like a restless child. In the darkness of the silk tie, you could feel the callousness of his fingertips as they dug into your hips, a guided meditation through your pleasure.

The room reeked of incense and sex, you realized as you attempted to delay your slowly building release by focusing on different things. Smells, sounds, and finally, Sehun.

This was the Sehun you loved most, the one you cherished most in your heart. The Sehun that was so willing to give, give, and give, but not to the point of recklessness, unlike the Sehun you had seen so often lately in the war room. This Sehun was yours, and yours only. And if the growing wet spot against his rough pants was any indication, then your body loved this Sehun as well.

“S-Sehun.”

“Hmm?”

“P-please let me touch you.”

“Alright, since you asked so nicely.”

You clumsily began to search for his hard bulge, and he grabbed your tied hands and guided them to something hard and hot. You jumped slightly in surprise, not realizing he had taken himself out of his pants while you were humping away at his thigh like a bitch in heat.

He laughed at your squirming, and you slowed the rhythm of your hips in annoyance, but not completely—your hips had stopped folding to you, subconsciously rutting, twitching gently against the rough, now ruined fabric, perpetually searching for release.

“S-shut up,” You panted, and he laughed again, pressing another kiss to your jawline.

“You shut up. I still have to make you come.”

His hands resumed their leisurely movement on your hips, your focus snapping back to the impending edge, thoughts blurring into incoherency as the pleasure against your core. Mindlessly, you let go of Sehun’s member to bring your hands up to your mouth, attempting to spit crudely in order to improvise lube.

Instead, your heart jumped into your throat in arousal when Sehun grabbed your free hand and did the same, keening at his actions, eyebrows furrowing. And, despite feeling a slight annoyance at the chafing of your thighs, a feral instinct took over, and your hips sped up against his thighs.

“You look perfect like this,” He told you, guiding your hand back to where he needed you most, and you began to pump him slowly. His hands moved to wrap around your waist, large hands splaying possessively across your back.

“Gods, I wish you could see how lovely you look, starshine,” He mumbled, seemingly in a daze, “All mine.”

You nodded. “Y-yours, Hunnie. Only yours.”

He pressed a kiss to your collarbone, his breath picking up as your hands did the same, pace speeding up. He groaned against your skin as you pressed your thumb into the slit of his cock. Your movements were harsh, jerking against him as you felt yourself losing yourself in his touch.

“S-Sehun, I’m gonna…”

“I’ve got you,” He whispered, his voice your only anchor, “Let go, Y/N, it’s okay.”

Finally, finally, you crested, head tipping back, mouth falling open in a silent scream, body stiffening in his arms as you were possessed by pleasure. In the dark, colors danced around you, sounds could be touched, Sehun’s hands on your body tasted exquisite.

You didn’t even realize that your display had tipped Sehun over the edge, spilling himself onto your hands while he gripped your shoulders like his life depended on it.

When you came down from your orgasm, your chest heaving, you reached up to pull the blindfold off of your face, struggling slightly as you were still restrained by the silk tie. You blinked a few times, eyes adjusting to the light of Sehun’s room, and found that he had fallen back onto the bed in the height of his orgasm.

His eyes had fluttered closed, panting furiously. He seemed loose, almost boneless, and you stifled a laugh at how much more relaxed he seemed now.

“I take it you had fun?” You asked, poking his stomach teasingly. After a moment of silence, of what you assumed to be Sehun trying to catch his breath, you furrowed your eyebrows.

“Hunnie, come on, get up. Can you untie me, please, baby?”

No response. If anything, Sehun’s pants seemed to be getting even heavier.

“Sehun?”

His eyes fluttered open, and your blood ran cold.

His eyes had rolled up into his head, mouth opening and closing as if he were trying to say something but he’d lost his voice. Around you, the temperature seemed to drop.Out of nowhere, the scent of incense returned, stronger than ever, and beneath you, Sehun tensed, muscles contracting as he began to seize.

You froze, momentarily unsure of what was happening. Here lay your lover, convulsing under you, and you were restrained to a point where it would be difficult to help him. Panic creeped into your stomach, eyes searching for something, anything, that would get you out of the grasp of the silk tie. You brought your wrists up to your teeth, frantically hoping to loosen the knot. Sehun was still convulsing. Your eyes drifted around the room, glancing at his stiff hands, gnarled into unrecognizable gestures. Your clothes were on the floor, but you had left your knife in your room.

Knife. Sehun’s knife.

You lunged for the nightstand, knowing that was where he kept his switchblade in case of an emergency, tumbling to the floor as your legs gave out, still wobbly from both panic and your previous orgasm. You managed to open the drawer, clumsily fumbling for the blade, before pulling it out, holding it between your teeth and bringing your wrists up to your mouth, beginning to saw away at the lovely, pale fabric, suddenly not caring about its softness or its illusion of luxury.

All you needed was to know that Sehun was okay.

Your eyes squeezed shut at the thought that he might be dying, and when the final strands of silk finally gave way, you practically spat out the knife, grabbing onto the nightstand for balance, turning to look at Sehun on your weak legs.

He wasn’t on the bed anymore. Your eyebrows furrowed, head spinning as you tried to figure out what was going on.

“Beware the master of tongues.”

You shrieked, eyes snapping up from where the deep, almost demonic voice had come from, and almost fainted then and there.

Because somehow, Sehun was floating above you, suspended in midair, eyes open wide but not a sliver of brown could be seen. In its place shone a bright silver, the holiest of metals for the unholiest sight.

“Beware the master of tongues,” The voice spoke again, speaking through Sehun, who was stiff as a board, face contorted into a sneer, and you realized with a chill that this wasn’t Sehun, but rather the Oracle.

“Beware the master of tongues,” He said once more, as his sneer morphed into a cruel grin, “But beware more the wrath of the faceless one.”

[mirkwoodshewolf]

Best gift of all, love; John Deacon x mute/deaf child reader (platonic)

*Author’*s note

Well guys I have yet another little Christmas gift for you all, this idea had been going around in my head for awhile now and I hope you all get fluffy Christmas/holiday feels with this one. Now in this fic as mentioned in the title you are deaf and mute so I am writing this as a non-deaf person so if there’s anything I might’ve incorrectly used PLEASE let me know so that I may make the edits necessary to fit the story, so not really any serious warnings except maybe jerky twin brothers, the word ‘handicapped’ is used, but overall some MAJOR DEACY FLUFF!!!

Taglist:

@psychosupernatural

@plethora-of-things

@waddles03

@ixchel-9275

@platawnic

@queendeakyy​

@geek-and-proud​

@simonedk​

@kairosfreddie​

___________________________________________________________

I was up in my room finally having some downtime from doing homework, and question who gives homework on Christmas? It’s just not right.  Anyways after finally getting it done, I can fully focus my attention to my gift for John Deacon.  Yep you heard right John Deacon of Queen, aka my mom’s boyfriend.

They met when Queen was touring America about two years ago when I was six years old.  My mom was their American techie and that’s how she and John hit it off. Because she was the only woman throughout the entire American team that could work the wires and know the difference between a closed and open circuit (whatever that means).

When she told us that her and John were dating, me and my twin brother Jensen were thrilled.  He was mostly thrilled at the fact that he could brag to his friends that his mom’s boyfriend was one of the members of Queen, I was just happy to have a father figure in my life because—well my real dad walked out on us when I was just 4 years.

The reason for him leaving was—well I’m not like other girls.  I was born mute and deaf.  It was hard for my dad because he thought it was just a phase, or that I was a birth defect out of my brother and I.  Not being able to take it, he just one night packed up and left, without even a goodbye.

It took mom awhile to trust guys again, but when she met John she started to loosen up a bit, especially when he took the time to learn sign language so that he could communicate with me.  So I figured this Christmas since he’s taken the time to try and communicate with me, I feel like I should communicate back to him, so I asked if I could have a few bass lessons with him.

He humbly gave me a few lessons and it was difficult because I couldn’t hear exactly what I was playing but if I had my foot against the AMP, I could feel the rhythm.  Plus I would turn to John every time and he’d either give me a wide, proud smile or sign off and adjust my fingers so that I could play the right key.

But he was patient with me and gave me a lesson whenever he had some downtime during rehearsals, or whenever he’d come over to visit us.

So here I was, practicing “Liar” which was one of my favorite songs because I could hear the bass shine throughout the song, especially on the solo.  I was sitting on the AMP John had gotten me for my birthday to practice with (that he also built from scratch might I add) so that I could feel what I was playing, when I felt something hit my head.

I looked down and saw a paper ball and when I looked at the door there stood my twin brother Jensen.

‘Why do you always do that?’ I signed.

“Cause it’s fun.” God I hated when he didn’t sign back to me, he knew that I struggled to read lips.

‘SIGN! You know I can’t read lips you idiot!’ he stuck his tongue at me before signing.

“What are you doing?” he said as he signed with an annoyed look on his face.

‘I’m practicing my present for John.’

“How exactly do you plan on doing that? You can’t hear.”

‘Just because I can’t hear doesn’t mean I can’t feel the rhythm. That’s why I’m sitting on the AMP he made me.’

“Yeah well I got a better gift for John.”

‘And just what are you doing for him?’

“Since he taught me about electronics, I’m making him a new AMP he can use. And a new AMP is way better than playing a song.” And with that he just walked away.  That’s typical Jensen for you, he always thinks he’s one step ahead just because he’s the normal one and I’m the freak of the family.

I continued to practice till mom came in and signed to me that it was time for dinner.  I put down my bass and followed her to the dinner table where the three of us sat down for some warm lasagna.

After dinner it was bath time and then into bed. Mom tucked me into bed and signed out.

‘Goodnight my world.’

‘Night mom. I love you.’

‘Love you too.’ She then kissed my forehead and turned off my lamp light before walking out my door.  I hugged the Japanese doll that Freddie had given me and soon fell fast asleep, and began to dream.

It was Christmas morning and I had my bass guitar ready to show John the song that I’ve been practicing really hard on.  I came to our living room and saw him with my brother. John was unwrapping his present and it revealed to be the AMP he was bragging about.

It looked absolutely flawless, like the ones John makes all the time.  And it seemed based off the wide smile on his face that he loved it.  I then started to grow nervous because if he loved Jensen’s gift so much, what would he think of mine?

“(Y/n), well don’t stand there all shy? What did you get me?” John spoke as he signed to me.  I gulped nervously and strapped my bass around my neck and walked up to him. I plugged the bass in and I signed.

‘I—I’ve been practicing really, really hard on this song. I—I hope you like it.’ I strummed a few notes and touched the AMP with my foot and I started playing the song.

However next thing I knew, I couldn’t feel the vibrations from the AMP anymore.  I grew scared as I tried to keep playing but since I couldn’t hear exactly what I was playing, or how I was playing it I trailed off and must’ve started playing something else.

All the while I just saw the disappointment on John’s face until finally he held his hand out which was a sign he used for me to stop playing.

“What was this?” he spoke as he signed.

‘I’m sorry John I…..I couldn’t feel the vibrations anymore. Did the AMP break?’

“No the AMP was fine. Nothing happened. It was just you. I thought I trained you better than that (y/n).”

‘I tried John really I did. I was just….’

“I don’t wanna hear it. This was the worst gift I could ever ask for. If only you could hear and not be a nuisance then I might have liked it.” What? No he—he would never say anything like that to me. Why was he saying this? “Guess I wasted my time teaching a handicapped how to play.”

Noooooo! He knows I hate that word. People always call me that and he knew how much it hurt. Why was he being mean? Why? Why! WHY!!!

I woke up in a sweat and felt my chest heaving. I looked around to still see that it was dark outside and that I was back in my bedroom.  Oh thank god it was only a dream. Or—was it? Could—could John really hate my gift to him?

I laid back down on my pillow and held onto my doll close to me and allowed a couple of tears to fall out.  Maybe I could think of something else for John, but what? Christmas was just 2 days away and there’s no way I could ask mom to go to the store to get something, and the only thing I can decorate is a card.

Guess I—need to think of something else to give John. I don’t want him to be disappointed in me and call me ‘handicapped’ again.

Soon enough it was Christmas eve and John was gonna come over tomorrow morning but tonight we were gonna watch him and Queen play at the Hammersmith Odeon theater live on TV.

“Okay kids, now that we’ve finished our dinner, are you both ready to watch Deacy and the others perform their Christmas concert?” mom both spoke and signed out.  

As I was watching my mom and brother speak back and forth between each other (god I wish I could read lips) it was then I felt my heart ache as I saw my brother sign.

“Wait mom, how is (y/n) gonna watch the concert if she can’t hear?” I saw Jensen sign with a smug look on his face as he looked right at me.  I saw mom spank him once on his bottom and she signed.

“She has as much right to watch it and enjoy watching them on TV. She doesn’t have to hear them.”

“But the point of a concert is to enjoy the music. And she can’t hear them. So she can’t watch it.”

“Alright that’s it. I’ve had it. You’re grounded Jensen.” I soon watched as my mom dragged Jensen by the ear and gestured for him to go upstairs.  I saw Jensen look at me with an angry face before he stormed up the stairs.  Mama came back and sat down beside me and signed.

‘Don’t listen to what your brother said.’

‘But he’s right mama. I don’t know what Queen sounds like, and since I can’t touch the television I won’t know what set they’re playing. Maybe I should just go to bed.’ As I started to get off the couch mama picked me up and placed me on her lap.

‘No lovie. You have just as much right to watch this concert. I know it would mean the world to John and your uncles if you did.’

‘But mom I won’t be able to hear the concert.’

‘I can sign it out to you if you’d like.’ Knowing that I could never win an argument with her, I nodded and told her I would stay and watch the concert.

And so she stood by the TV and as soon as the concert began to go on the air, she signed out everything for me. From the songs to Freddie’s speeches.  Then as Liar came on, she asked me just before the singing began.

‘You ready to give Deacy your present tomorrow morning?’ Yeah I didn’t tell her that I decided to change my mind about what to give John because I didn’t want to get into a debate with her.  So I just nodded to her and she smiled. ‘I’ve also been looking forward to hearing you play this song.’ It was then I saw her starting to sign the song to me.

And when John’s bass solo came on, I watched as the camera zoomed in on his skilled fingers. Pricking the strings as his left fingers lifted up and down on the first three fingers only doing that same 13-15th measure for the song that he once told me he did for this song. He then slide his fingers down the neck of the bass and the song continued.

The concert continued to go on with huge success as I watched the crowd mouth out lyrics to the songs and balloons bouncing up and down in the air as Freddie continued to dance around the stage in his own way while Brian played his guitar, Roger on the drums and John on the bass wearing that yellow hat of his.

As the credits were rolling, I grew tired and that’s when mom picked me up and took me to bed.  She tucked me in and she signed.

‘Did you enjoy the concert sweetie?’ I nodded.

‘It looked like fun.’ She smiled and tucked me into bed.

‘Alright sweetie better get some sleep before Santa clause comes. Otherwise he’ll just fly above our house in circles.’ We both smiled and that’s when I asked her.

‘Mom?’

‘Yes?’ she signed out.

‘Do—do you think for Christmas, Santa could give me the ability to hear?’ at that question mama just looked at me.

‘(Y/n) sweetie. That’s—that’s a big wish. Even for Santa.’

‘But I thought Santa could do anything. You said that good boys and girls are granted their deepest wishes by Santa, and that’s—all I really want for Christmas.’ She looked at me with sympathetic eyes before finally signing.

‘I’ll tell you what sweetheart. If that’s what you truly desire, then Santa’s gonna try his best to give you your wish. Now it may not come right away, but he’ll try his best to make it happen. Okay?’ I nodded.  She smiled and kissed me goodnight before tucking me in and turned out the light.

The next morning it was Christmas.  I opened my eyes but of course all I heard was silence. I solemnly sighed before getting out of bed and looked outside to see John’s car parked out front.  

Oh great, if I go down there he’ll—he’ll probably act like he did in my nightmare a few nights ago.

But if I don’t go down either him or mama will come up here and check on me and that’s something I don’t want to happen. Taking out John’s gift I quietly headed down the stairs.

But to my horror it was just like it was in my nightmare with Jensen on John’s lap showing him his newly designed AMP that he said he had made.  I hid in the corner and tried to be invisible so that John wouldn’t see me as I watched them interact with each other.

Just like in the nightmare, John seemed to be impressed by Jensen’s AMP but due to me not being able to hear I couldn’t understand what they were saying.  Suddenly John caught sight of me, I quickly ducked back into the corner of the stairs. It wasn’t until I saw John peek over and he grinned at me.

“I thought I saw you, what are you doing hiding here all by yourself?” he spoke as he signed to me.  I shrugged. “Is that for me?” he signed again as he gestured to his gift that I had behind my back.  I looked behind me then back to him and I presented it to him. ‘Thank you’. He signed.

As he slowly started to unwrap it, he paused and signed.

‘Your mum told me you both had a ladies night and watched the concert together. Did you enjoy it?’ I wanted to tell him I did but ow can someone enjoy something when they can’t even hear what’s going on? So I shrugged again.  John looked at me concerningly but chose not to push me.

Finally he unwrapped the gift to reveal the bass guitar my mom had gotten me when John first agreed to give me my bass lessons.

“Your bass. Do you wish for me to sign it?” he signed as he spoke. I shook my head no. “Okay well—did you want me to make any modifications to it? Is something wrong with it?” I shook my head again. “Then what is it love?” I looked down shamefully before feeling the tears coming.

I then quickly raced up the stairs and quickly shut the door and hid under the blankets and buried myself in them trying to hide as best I could.  It must’ve been a few moments later when I felt the dip on my bed and the blankets being lifted so that my head was free.  John’s eyes were filled with concern and worry.

‘What’s wrong poppet?’ he signed off.

‘Nothing.’

‘It didn’t look like nothing down there, you know you can tell me anything without me judging you right?’ I rubbed at my eyes trying to rid of the tears that refused to stop when I felt a gentle hand cup my chin forcing me to look up.  I then felt John’s calloused but gently fingers wipe away my tears.

He then leaned forward until his forehead rested against mine.  We stayed there for a minute till I finally gave in and moved from his forehead to his neck and buried myself into him.  I felt his arms gently surround me in a comforting embrace.  He allowed me to cry into his neck for as long as I needed and never once tried to rush me or make me feel insignificant.

Once I managed to calm down, he set me down in his lap and signed out.

‘Better?’

‘A little.’ The corner of his mouth turned up in a slight smile as he brushed and tucked my hair behind my ears.

‘Are you okay to tell me what all of this is about?’

‘Will you be mad if I tell you?’ he shook his head no and signed back to me.

‘You know there is absolutely nothing in this world that could ever make me mad at you.’ He stroked through my hair which always made me feel warm inside, especially when John did it.

‘I gave you my bass guitar because I want you to give it to someone else. Someone who is able to hear what it is they’re playing.’

‘(Y/n), why—why would you think that? You’re a wonderful bass player. You’re halfway to my speed with the lessons I’ve given you.’

‘But I can’t hear John! I’m deaf! What use do I have in playing an instrument that I can’t hear!? It’s like you said you wasted your time training a handicapped how to play.’ My gestures were frantic as I felt my chest clench in pure agony and heartbreak again, my vision flickering with tears once more.

It was during the middle of my rant that John took my hands in his and shook his head repeatedly.  Keeping both my hands in on hand and spelling repeatedly ‘no’ with the other, John kept his eyes locked with mine.

‘When did I ever say that?’

‘The other night, in a dream.’ He brushed aside my bangs from my forehead before planting a soft kiss right at the center of it.

‘(Y/n). It was nothing but a bad dream. A trick. I would never, ever, ever, ever call you that vile word or say that I wasted my time teaching you to play the bass.’

‘But how can I play when I can’t hear? Jensen says that what good am I to watching concerts or even learning how to play an instrument if I can’t hear?’ I saw him sigh and that’s when he told me.

‘Love, your brother he—he always seems to say what he wants to without thinking of the consequences of his words. I’ll be sure to set him straight. Because no brother should ever make their sister feel inferior just because of something that wasn’t in their control to have. Come here.’ He held his arms out and I leaned in against his chest.

If I could hear I probably would’ve heard his heartbeat since he made sure to adjust my head so that it was over on the left side of his chest.  He then tucked his finger under my chin so that I could look up at him again.  He wiped my tears away and signed off.

‘But my dear, please understand that you are a special fan of ours.’

‘Just because I’m deaf?’

‘No not because of that. It has nothing to do with you being deaf. Your specialness comes from how you view music. And how you view us.’

‘What do you mean?’ he stroked through my hair and smiled softly down at me.

‘Many people around the world see us in two ways; our looks, or our music. Most of our female fans just see us as four hot rockstars, mostly of them for Roger’s case.’ At that I couldn’t help but smile and laugh a little as did John. ‘And yes I say we do things that no other band has done with having all of us write the songs and not just one of us. But to someone like you, you feel us (y/n). Feel our music in a way that no one else can.’

‘How? It doesn’t make any sense.’

‘It may not now. When people hear our music they just hear all the different genres we try to put in. But you my dear, you feel every bit of the music that plays. From the rhythm that Roger and I do, to the melodies Brian and Fred perform. You feel it all. Every instrument, every beat, you feel it all. So in a way it’s a good thing that you can’t hear cause otherwise you’d just be like everyone else.’

‘But I’d still like to hear other things. Like Freddie’s singing, my mom’s voice, and your voice. Mummy always said you had an interesting accent compared to the others, and I always wanted to hear what it sounded like.’ He rubbed my back in circles and signed.

‘Just be thankful you’ll never hear my sing. Otherwise I would make you go deaf, it’s that terrible.’ I couldn’t help but giggle which made John smile. ‘Seems like your back to being that happy girl I love so much.’

‘Yeah. Thank you John.’

‘I’m always here for you poppet. No matter what.’ He then lightly bopped my nose which made me smile wider.  We sat there in comfortable silence as John proceeded to rock me back and forth when John told me. ‘Hey love?’ I looked up at him and signed.

‘Yes?’

‘Not to push you but I wanna know the truth. What was it you were really planning on doing with your bass before you chose to try and make me give it away?’ I got up out of his embrace and turned towards my AMP.

‘I—was actually gonna play you something.’

‘You were?’ I nodded. ‘Oh love that’s amazing. What song were you gonna do?’

‘L-I-A-R.’ I spelled out.

‘Liar, really? Wow that’s amazing. I would like to hear you play it, if that’s what you want.’ I debated long and hard as I looked between John and my AMP in the corner.

‘I’ll try.’

‘That’s all I ask of you poppet.’ He then grabbed my bass that he had put in the corner up and the two of us walked over to the AMP. He helped me turn it on and strummed the strings for me till the volume was just right for him.  Once he was done he nodded to me and I sat on top of the AMP so that I could feel the vibrations as he handed me my bass.

I breathed deeply and nervously looked towards John and he just looked at me with nothing but reassurance.

‘Just do your best. I’ll be proud no matter what.’ I adjusted my bass so that it sat in my lap and tried not to think back to my nightmare.

I felt the tune in my head before finally starting on the bass sections.  I tried my best to not think about the dream but since it was so similar to what happens, it started to effect my performance I just knew it.  It was then I saw John’s hand come over mine stopping me from picking the strings anymore.  I looked up and prepared for the exact speech he gave me in my dream.

‘You’re so tense love. Remember relax your arm against the bass and it’ll be easier to pick the strings.’ He signed.  I looked at him in awe.  He—he didn’t say that I was terrible, this—this wasn’t like my dream. This was real.

‘Sorry John.’

‘No need to apologize love. This is a hard song to try, you wanna start over or continue from where you left off?’

‘I can start over.’ He smiled and leaned back against my bed and I started over.  Gaining a little more confidence, I felt like I was playing with more passion and when I got to the solo I worked on my fingering along the neck to make sure I hit the three notes over and over again just like John did last night.

By the end of the song, I stopped and looked up at John and his expression was speechless.  Nervously I signed out.

‘How’d I do?’ he scooted up towards me and hugged me close.  He squeezed me tightly but not constricting and that’s when he signed to me.

‘You. Were. Amazing poppet. I mean there were some parts that were a little iffy but you did amazing. And the solo, I think if the boys heard you do that solo they’d replace me with you.’ I blushed and signed a thank you to him.  I took my bass off and ran up to him and the two of us hugged each other. ‘And thank you for giving me the greatest gift I ever gotten.’

‘I’m glad you loved it John. I wanted to do you proud.’

‘And you did poppet. I love you so much, and I’m so proud of you.’ I smiled and nuzzled myself into his chest while I felt him stroke down my hair.

[ploppythespaceship]

You knew it was coming. It was... inevitable.

Avengers: Endgame Review

Cause I gotta get it out of my head while it’s fresh.

Spoiler free version: I had a fantastic time in the theater and was on the edge of my seat. It was by no means a perfect film, and there are some ideas and some plot points that were just... stupid, honestly. But overall, I had a fucking blast and that’s the most important thing. So not quite two thumbs up? Maybe one and a half thumbs up?

And now the more detailed stuff... THERE ARE SO MANY SPOILERS UNDER THIS READ MORE. Like, sweet god. All of the spoilers. So this is your warning. If you don’t want the spoilers, skip this post and come back after you’ve seen it. Cool? Cool.

Good Things:

The effects of the snap feel so real. The first half hour of the film is so heavy. You actually believe that the entire universe is in grief. It’s tangible and gut wrenching and uncomfortable.

Thor beheading Thanos. One, it was awesome. Two, Thor’s quip “I went for the head” made me laugh so hard.

Just... the entire plot. Solid idea. I know it’s the thing everyone called already, going back in time to grab the Infinity Stones from their own past adventures, but it works so well. Using the throwback for a conclusion movie. And the integration into the first Avengers fight was pretty seamless.

Sort of weird? But I like that Scott actually got to be an Avenger and do important things. I like Scott, I feel like he’s underrated. So this was a nice change.

Steve fighting himself in the past. And then the remark, “that is America’s ass.” I just about died.

I like how the fights in this film are kept relatively small-scale until the final fight, which is just all out. It really builds everything up to that last moment.

And man oh man does that fight deliver. It’s long but it doesn’t feel like it’s dragging, because there’s just so much good stuff happening.

STEVE WITH MJOLNIR. HOOOOOOLY SHIT. The entire theater started cheering and we couldn’t stop. Captain America beat the shit out of Thanos with Thor’s Hammer, and it was amazing.

That moment when everyone who had been dead shows up to join the fight. You knew it was coming, they would all show up right when things felt the most hopeless, but it was still such a DAMN GOOD MOMENT.

“Avengers!!” *summons Mjolnir* “Assemble.”

Peter throughout the whole battle. He was just so charming. Tom Holland is perfect for the part.

That moment when every lady in the MCU teamed up to help Captain Marvel get across the battlefield?? YES QUEENS.

And that moment when Thanos punched Captain Marvel in the face and she didn’t even flinch?? GOD. (That was the only Captain Marvel moment I liked, ngl.)

So... of course, Tony died. I think we all guessed that going in. But I feel like he got a good death. His arc came full circle and it was a fitting end for the character. (And it’s a win-win! He got a good death that people can be satisfied with, and I still don’t have to see him in future movies.)

Though I have mixed feelings about Steve’s departure... I am so so glad he got his happy ending with Peggy. That actually got me a bit teary eyed.

I’m sad to see Steve go. But Sam Wilson is Captain America now, and I’m so excited for that chapter of the MCU to begin.

Bad Things:

My biggest complaint about this film is that it butchered Thor. To be fair, Ragnarok butchered him first, but this film just finished the job. Anything I once liked about the character is gone, replaced by this fat, drunken buffoon. Every single scene, I wanted him to shut up. Which sucks! Because he used to be great!

Also, Thor went back in time to Asgard. The planet he just lost. And yet there was no reaction?? At all??

And him noping out of his responsibilities as a ruler to go dick around with the Guardians seems like a step back in his character arc.

I’m also not a big fan of what they did with Hawkeye. Him going full vigilante just seemed sort of weird.

Captain Marvel still kinda sucks. I’m not sure how she got to Earth or met everyone else (was that in the Captain Marvel post-credits scene that I missed?) and she just didn’t mesh with any of the action. Brie Larson’s delivery was a bit better this time around, but she still felt like the wrong choice for the part.

Bruce being a mix of Bruce and the Hulk didn’t work for me either. He looked like a weird Shrek man and I didn’t know how to feel about it.

Clint and Natasha seemed very surprised that one of them would die getting the Soul Stone, which... I feel like they should have known about? Nebula clearly knew what had happened with Thanos and Gamora, wouldn’t she have mentioned...?

Also, the suspense of that scene, wondering which of them was going to die, dragged on too long. They should have just let Natasha throw herself from the cliff. Not added the extra exploding arrow, then Clint diving, then Nat diving after him, then the final release. Too much. Too much.

I’m not clear on how Tony got the stones from Thanos at the end. I feel like I missed something there.

That shot of everyone at Tony’s funeral, it was so obvious that they filmed the different groups at different times and stitched it together at the end. It was so weird.

Steve’s last scene felt very tacked onto the end. Like... I wish they’d had some kind of build up to it? Some lines about feeling like he’d missed out on a life, something like that? They had him see Peggy in the 70s, but... I dunno, still felt a bit odd. Almost like they weren’t sure they were going to go through with it but decided at the last minute. Not sure.

And it was weird that Bucky was just watching while Sam got the entire moment. I feel like they could have both gone to talk to him.

[ariannaj99]

Drag Race Season 12 Episode 5 “RuCap”

Drag Race returns for yet again in this week’s installment titled “Gay’s Anatomy.” The episode is the start of the Brita v. Aiden beef that can be seen throughout the next couple of episodes. With that being said, this episode opens with the remaining queens discussing Rock M.’s elimination. A few queens believe she didn’t deserve to go home, much less be in the bottom two. One of the more vocal queens is none other than Miss Brita Filter, and she makes it obvious that she believes Aiden should have sashayed away in Rock M.’s place. 

Ru finally makes his grand entrance into the Werk Room to lace the queens up on their maxi challenge for the week. They will be acting in yet another parody acting challenge, but this week it’s based on “Grey’s Anatomy” called “Gay’s Anatomy.” To decide who hand the roles for this week, the queens pull pills out of a jar and Gigi and Nicky were oh so fortunate to pull pink pills, meaning they’d be assigning the roles. Although they tried to be fair with the roles and listened to everyone’s top picks, Aiden and Widow ended up in roles that neither of them wanted. 

Unfortunately, there wasn’t a mini challenge this week (boo) because the queens need as much time as possible to rehearse. To make a long story short, Aiden is mad at Gigi and Nicky for casting her into the stereotypical ghost role (sis is pasty af), Brita is upset that she has to work Aiden again this week since she picked the role they had the majority of scenes with the ghost, Nicky underperformed severely in her scene, and many people, including Jaida, fumbled over their words. Honestly, judging from the rehearsal, I thought the challenge was going to be a hot mess, but it actually came out pretty funny and well-executed (somebody please give the editors a FAT raise). 

Here’s a clip of one of Heidi and Crystal’s scenes just to put into perspective how lackluster the rehearsals were.

For the mainstage, the category is Planet of the Capes. Yes, the queens must all wear a cape of some kind and style it to their liking. I personally really loved Brita’s sexy Red Riding Hood look, but the judges, specifically Michelle, didn’t like the chaps-looking skirt. To each their own I guess because Brita had the best look this week for me.

The worst was Heidi’s. She had on an all black leotard with a random rainbow cape? It just didn’t flow for me.

Normani was the guest judge of the week, so you can imagine my disappointment when the bottom two lip-synced to “Heart to Break” by Kim Petras. Heidi and Nicky landed themselves in the bottom, and it was clear from the start who would win. Nicky, like I predicted in my episode one and two reviews, used the language barrier as a crutch and excuse. Um, excuse me, but didn’t you know that you were competing to become America’s Next Drag Superstar? Nicky knew what she signed up for, and if she felt that she wasn’t given a level playing field to compete, then she should have never signed up. However, this isn’t true because plenty of queens with thick accents and native languages other than English have made it far in previous seasons. Either way, Heidi ended up staying and Nickysashayed away.

My final thoughts? It’s bittersweet seeing Nicky leave. She was one queen whose looks I looked forward to each and every week. However, her narrative that the language barrier prevented her from performing on the level of the other queens became tired and bored.

[minimin1993]

S/M 4 & B/L 4

Warning: Language. Drinking. Fondue.

After Joe called cut Min practically collapses on the floor next to the boys.

“I am pooped.” She said refusing to sit up. 

“Come on Princess, it’s not that bad.” Sebastian said pulling her up before bending in front of her for her daily piggy back ride back to her trailer.

“Sebastian this is your first time filming with her, trust me she only doing this for her piggy back ride. Don’t get tricked.” Chris said walking next to them.

“Hey don’t tell him my trade secret. I quite enjoy my piggyback rides.” Min pouted. 

“Anyways we going to the club tonight, wanna come?” Chris asked.

“Oooo, I would love to go clubbing. Haven’t tried my flirting skills out before.” Min said excitedly. 

“Oh no, no boys for you princess.” Sebastian said. 

“Who said they going to be boys? Last time I checked I am attracted to both boys and girls. Sorry boys but you got competition tonight.” Min said jumping off Sebastians’ back. “There is a lot of things you boys don’t know about me, I am going to go get ready then.” 

“Let’s see then, lets see who gets the most girls number tonight.” Sebastian said with a smug look on his face.

“Oh you’re on, loser does whatever the winner wants.” She said holding her hand out to shake on it which he gladly accepted. 

“Chris you want to join this bet?” Sebastian said turning to Chris. 

“No way, you can dig your own grave buddy. Don’t drag me into this.” Chris said holding his arms up already surrendering.

“See you at 11pm then.” Min said heading inside her trailer.

The moment the clock turned 11 she stepped out of her hotel room seeing the boys were already waiting for her. “You are fucked Sebastian” Chris whispered to Sebastian the moment they caught sight of Min outfit.

“Ready to go?” Min said with a knowing smirk on her face. 

When they walked inside the club Min was already swaying to the music while scoping out the place to find her victims for the night. 

“Get me ‘Sex on the Beach drink please, I already found my first target.” Min said to Sebastian giving him a wink before going toward a group of girls grabbing the sexiest one and starts to dance on her while another girl steps behind her leaving the boys stunned watching the scene in front of them. 

“I think you should just call it a loss now Sebastian, she didn’t even say anything and already 2 girls are already on her.” Chris said stepping to the bar and ordering their drinks.

By the end of the night of course Min had won by a landslide 23 to 7 

“I told you I will win.” Min said walking out back to their hotel room all giggly but surprisingly not stumbling at all from all the alcohol she had consumed throughout the night. “And the best part is I didn’t even kiss any of them other than someone here.” she said smirking looking in Sebastian direction while drunk Chris is still laughing his ass off at the situation. 

“Honestly I am surprised you didn’t even kiss anyone of them, that last girl really wanted to” Sebastian said looking at her after giving Chris a playful punch 

“You’re funny, I am not going to have my first kiss with some random girl.” Min said without thinking, stopping the boys from their tracks.

“What?” She said turning back to look at the boys. 

“You never even kissed anyone and you have more game then Sebastian. Where have you been all my life? You are now promoted to Queen.” Chris said proudly. 

“Chris, I think you are too drunk, come on let’s get you to bed.” Min said pulling Chris to his hotel room before helping him into his bed. 

“I am surprise you guys didn’t bring any girls home from the club.” Min said quietly seeing Chris slowly falling asleep already the moment he fell on his bed while Min was helping him remove his shoes before tucking him in. 

“Naw, I was having too much fun with our bet, plus look at Chris he’s passed out drunk you really think he could have handled a girl.” Sebastian said walking out the room with Min trailing behind him. 

“True that. Dam after all those drink I am really craving a cigarette with now.” Min said walking over to room.

“Wow, you smoke bud, cig, and drink is there anything you don’t do” Sebastian asked jokingly 

“Heroin, meth, anything hardcore drugs that get you addicted no thank you. And come on, I only do those things on occasion not everyday jerk.” Min pouted. 

“I was only joking jeez, but I may have cigarettes in my room if you want one” Sebastian offered. 

“Cool, I am going to go freshen up real quick be back in 5 mins.” She said before bolting into her room leaving Sebastian to chuckle to himself. 

 “So you really never kissed anyone before?” Sebastian asked taking a hit of his cigarette. 

“Are you surprised? I been working hard. Haven’t had time for anything fun until recently.” Min said taking a hit of hers as well.

“No not really, but you are aware that we have a kiss scene in the movie right?” 

“Yeah and? I trust you anyways to give me a great first kiss.” She said dropping the end of the cig and crushes it before picking it back up to dispose of it correctly. 

“You don’t mind it being with me?” 

“Naww, it's not everyday people can say their first kiss was with Sebastian Stan” Min said playfully but proudly. 

“I don’t think your first kiss should be a movie kiss though” 

“Well then we better fix that then” Min said stepping closer to Sebastian giving him a chaste kiss on the corner of his lips. 

When she was about to back away Sebastian pulls her flush to his body giving her a real kiss, their mouths move in sync with each other, Min trails her arms up to rest on his shoulder getting lost in the kiss feeling his hands trail up to cup her face in place nudging her lower lip with his tongue for access. The kiss was so intoxicating and lasted for what felt like forever that left both of them breathless when they part from each other resting their foreheads together. 

“Now you can remember that as you’re first kiss” Sebastian said staring into her eyes before she flashes him a bright smile 

“Thank you Sebastian, hope this doesn’t change anything between us.” She said stepping back. 

“Don’t worry princess, it was either now or on screen anyways, just didn’t feel right to have your first kiss be witnessed by a bunch of people.” He said tucking her hair behind ear. 

“Well it's late, we should probably go to bed.” She said in her playful voice as if the kiss didn’t just happened with a smile on her face. 

“True, goodnight Princess.” Sebastian said watching her walk to her room. 

“Nightynight Sebastian.” She said sending him a wink and blew him an air kiss making him chuckle before closing her door.

  “Come on Peggy get dressed we are going to be late for our dinner reservation.” Linda said putting the final touches on her hair. 

“I am almost done, our reservation is at 7 its only 5:30” Peggy said slipping into her tight red dress. “Zip me up?”

“Ooo La La, who you looking sexy for?” Linda said with a smirk on her face zipping her dress up making Peggy blush. “You know just because of this, we stopping at the pub to see Steve now. I honestly really want to see his response to this. You can ‘remind’ him about meeting tomorrow.”  

“You are something else you know that? Plus have you took a look at yourself, you look stunning in that dress.” Peggy said

“Yeah yeah yeah don’t try to change the subject. I don’t care how I look, tonight is all about you love. All the boys will have a heart attack seeing you. I think you might actually bring Captain America down to his knees.” 

“Sure Linda whatever helps you sleep at night. Then what are we waiting for let’s go.” Peggy said excitedly pulling Linda out the door making her laugh. 

  “I don’t think I can do this” Peggy said after arriving at the pub and got one glimpse of Steve inside. 

“Yes you can and you will come on” Linda said opening the door linking her arm with Peggy before walking inside. The moment girls stepped inside all chatter and singing stopped turning everyone’s head toward them. 

“Told ya” Linda whispering into Peggy ear feeling Peggy get more confidence heading over to Steve and Bucky.

“  Captain.” Peggy said.

“  Agent Carter. Linda.”

“  Ma’am.” Bucky said haven’t been able to take his eyes off Linda as she sends him a wink seeing a blush forming on his cheek making her smirk. 

“  Howard has some equipment for you to try. Tomorrow morning?” Peggy said. 

“  Sounds good.” Steve said looking Peggy up and down the moment she looks around the pub making Linda giggle catching Steve in the act.

“  I see you top squad is prepping for duty.” Peggy said. 

“  You don’t like music?” Bucky asked. 

“  I do, actually. I might even, when this is all over, go dancing.” 

“  Then what are we waiting for?” Bucky asked being ignored by Peggy who only have eyes for Steve making Linda giggle harder. 

“  The right partner. 0800, Captain.”

“  Yes, ma’m. I’ll be there.” Steve answered still can’t take his eyes off Peggy who turns and walks out. 

“Sorry Bucky, she only got eyes for one. Looks like your invisible now buddy.” Linda said smirking at Bucky patting his shoulder making Steve chuckle. “And Steve, I see those wondering eyes, see you tomorrow.” Linda said following Peggy.   

  “That dame is going to be the death of me.” Bucky said watching Linda walk away. 

“Careful of that one, she’s a lot to handle.” Steve said patting Bucky on the shoulder. 

  ----

“Come on Peggy you saw yesterday, he clearly is interested in you.” Linda said walking next to her into the base.

“Yes and what Linda. Not like we can do anything right now we all have a job to do. And don’t think I didn’t see how Barnes was staring at you last night.” 

“He’s a natural flirt, don’t be trick. I know his type a mile away.” Linda said with a smirk on her face. “Anyway don’t change the subject, maybe you and him can ‘fondue’ come on you’re not going to let this opportunity slip. You never know what might happen….” Linda said as they turn the corner to see Steve and the blond bimbo locking lips. “Oh jesus” Linda said rolling her eyes face palming her face. 

“Captain!” Peggy said as the pair separates “We’re ready for you. If you’re not otherwise occupied.” She said annoyed and walks away with Linda pissed off behind her. 

“Agent Carter, wait.” Steve said running after Peggy 

“  Looks like finding a partner wasn’t that hard after all.” 

“  Peggy, that’s not what you thought it was.” He said turning to look at Linda for help while wiping his lips and attempting to fix his tie making Linda scoff 

“  I don’t think anything, Captain. Not one thing. You always wanted to be a soldier and now you are. Just like all the rest.” Peggy said 

“Well, what about you and Stark? How do I know you two haven’t been… fonduing?” Steve said stopping Peggy from her tracks turning around to look at Steve 

“You still don’t know a bloody thing about women!” Peggy said walking to the door. 

“Oooo Steve, you imbecile. I tried all the past few days talking you up and you do that….. Really? Oooo I am so mad at you right now I swear I want to slap you silly…..” Linda said jamming her finger into Steve chest. “Fonduing? Really? You should ask Howard what that means. Idiot.” She said walking away leaving Steve there pondering in his thoughts.

[artificialqueens]

A Head, A Heart, & A Crown {Biadore} Chapter 17 -C*NT

A/N: This is the final chapter guys! I really can’t believe how much love this story has gotten so thank you so much. I’m going to be completley honest, I never pictured this story going on for so many chapters, but after awhile I became determined to finish it. So here we are at the end. I have gotten so much encouragment from the people of this community, and it’s really helped me out in real life as well so thank you. Thank you to trixies-padding for betaing, Splatt & Taurus for the kind words and encouragement, everyone who has messaged me on my side blog with praise and encouragment, and all of the others who have loved and enjoyed this story from begining to end. I dedicate this final chapter and epilogue to you ALL. I’m like getting emotional, this chapter has been done for a few days now and I’ve been holding off on posting because that means it’ll really be over. No real TW as far as I know, just fluff and a tiny bit of angst. Thank you so much again and please, without further aideu, enjoy the FINAL CHAPTER! ❤️ xoxo C*NT

Danny and Roy laid in bed intertwined in each other as they stared at the sunlight pouring in through the blinds. They were both avoiding the elephant in the room, lost in their thoughts.

“Danny…” Roy started.

Danny sighed and squeezed Roy closer to him.

“No.” Danny said into his chest.

Roy’s lips twitched in amusement.

“No?” Roy asked incredulously.

“I know what you’re going to ask.” Danny groaned.

“Do you? I could just be asking you what you want for breakfast.” Roy grinned.

Danny groaned again as he flipped over to face the other direction. He knew Roy was just trying his best to lighten the mood, before things had to go back to reality.

“I know you better than that.” Danny smiled.

The honeymoon is over, Roy thought grimly. It was now or never though, and he needed an answer now. He was too old to be wasting his time walking on eggshells around the obvious.

“What are we?” Roy asked, hesitantly. He didn’t want to ask the question, but he knew it was necessary, especially after last night’s show. Both of their phones had been blowing up with tweets all night long. Roy was afraid to even look at them, knowing he’d have to address everyone soon enough.

“I want to be with you…” Danny trailed off. He flipped back over to look at Roy and smiled faintly. He stared off into the distance, his green eyes still fogged over with fatigue.

“But…?” Roy asked, holding his breath.

“It’s so soon after Jaremi.”

“It is.” Roy nodded, agreeing.

He didn’t want to force Danny to be with him, but at the same time he didn’t want to waste any more time waiting either.

“I want to be with you though. I just need to take it slow. I think we can still be public about it, as long as you want to be anyway. I feel like everyone knows how I feel about you by now.” Danny shrugged.

Roy smiled wide and pulled him in for a soft kiss. He pulled Danny closer and propped his chin onto his hand, staring at him.

“Of course I want that Danny. We don’t have to jump into anything serious right away though. Let’s take it slow.”

“I’m okay with slow.” Danny winked.

Roy rolled his eyes playfully and slapped the younger man’s ass. It was tight and round, just the way he liked it, and boy did he like it…

However, it was 2:00 pm and he was in dire need of some food.

“Come on. Let’s get up.”

——————————————————–

One Week Later

“Promise you’ll call me as soon as you find out?”

“I promise.” Adore smiled.

“Okay, I’ll see you later. If you aren’t the winner I’m going to raise hell.” Roy grumbled.

Adore blushed and rolled her eyes. Roy was incredibly biased, but it was still very sweet how much he was rooting for her.

“Bye baby.”

“Bye.”

Adore hung up the phone and took her seat in between Katya and Alyssa. They were all dressed up for their gig immediately following the episode.

Adore had worn something simple, a black leotard thong with a sheer tulle dress layered over it and belted in the middle. Alyssa was in a short sequin cocktail dress, and Katya was wearing a long sleeve mini dress with a paisley pattern.

This was it. The day Adore would find out if she was America’s Next Drag Superstar or not.

It had felt like forever since this whole process had begun again. It had already been a year and some odd months since she had filmed the show with her drag race sisters.

She had realized that she had grown so much throughout the last year. She had gone from helping Roy get out of his toxic relationship, to being with him, to being without him and then ended up with Jaremi. Then she got engaged and now, here she was again with Roy.

She was grateful for everything that had happened to her, and would be happy no matter who won tonight.

But of course she wanted to win. She wanted to win so bad, just as much as the first time. But would it be the end of the world if she didn’t? Not necessarily.

“What are you gonna do with the money mama?” Alyssa asked as they watched the finale. It had just gotten to the part where Ru was asking the top 3 questions. Katya laughed as Adore struggled with the necklace Bianca had given her. It had gotten tangled in her hair all night while they were filming. Adore smiled at the memory and then thought about what she would do with the $100,000.

She had already thought about two possibilities: one would be to donate the majority of it and use the rest for another album. The other option was to buy a nice house in Seattle. When she had performed her show there, she had fallen in love with everything about it. The city was different than any other she had been to, a big city with more of a hipster vibe. Completely the opposite of LA where everyone was trying to be someone and impress each other.

“If I win, I’m most likely going to donate the money to like a youth charity. Maybe use the rest on an album. What about you guys?” Adore asked.

She decided that telling the queens about Seattle was too personal, especially since it most likely wouldn’t happen.

“I’d put it into my dance studio baby.” Alyssa replied.

“I’d invest in a new wig.” Katya shrugged. “I’m pretty sure the crown is yours though Adore.”

Adore smiled and shook her head.

“Don’t count yourself out just yet girl. It really could be any of us.”

It really, really could be. Alyssa and Adore were the fan favorites due to all of their catchphrases, but Adore had been sent home.

Katya had won a lot of challenges but didn’t get sent home at all. The final decision was Ru’s to make though, and she really could pick any one of them out of the three.

“Shh guys, it’s time!” Alyssa exclaimed grabbing Adore’s hand.

“The winner of All Stars 2, earning a spot in the coveted hall of fame and $100,000-”

“Bitch is the world about to see Bianca Del Rio crying or what?” Alyssa cackled. Adore smirked and rolled her eyes. Twitter would explode if Adore was the winner, the fans seeing Bianca cry would be the most shocking part of the finale to them.

“Is-”

“You bitch!” Katya laughed as they all squeezed each other’s hands.

“Katya!” Ru boomed through the TV.

Adore’s ears rang as she processed what Ru had said. She smiled

encouragingly at Katya, clapping her hands excitedly for her. This time, losing didn’t hurt as bad; but it still stung as she glanced at Violet and Chad crown Katya on TV. The room had gone from stunned silence, to screaming, to crying within 30 seconds. Phones were blaring and cameras were in their faces as Alyssa and Adore hugged and congratulated Katya. Adore had completely forgotten about the camera crew in the room with them.

“I can’t believe this.” Katya wiped a tear from the corner of her eye.

“Believe it bitch, and fix your makeup ‘cause we got to go.” Alyssa said as she attempted to wipe the smeared eyeliner off of Katya’s cheek.

Adore laughed and they all walked out of the hotel room, down the stairs towards the ballroom where Katya would be presented with the $100,000. Fans had lined up screaming as they watched them walk across the hotel, yelling congrats to Katya.

Adore glanced down at her phone and grinned.

BDR: I’m causing a riot this is BULLSHIT!

BDR: At least America will never know I have a soft spot.

BDR: I hope you’re okay. Call me when you get home.

Adore smiled and typed out a message.

Adore: I’m fine. Katya deserved it, I’ll call you when I get home- promise.

That wasn’t a lie, Adore really did feel fine. Of course she was disappointed, but it wasn’t a let down. She was just grateful she even had the oppurtunity to begin with.

They made their appearance and Katya was crowned again, this time just by Chad. The crowd was insane, the energy in the room was so happy and cheerful which made it easier on everyone involved.

After that, the three of them performed ‘Read U Wrote U’ and Alyssa and Adore were able to go home afterwards. They were about to leave the stage when Katya stopped them both.

“Adore, before you go.” Katya called.

“What is it?” Adore asked confused.

“Thank you for being so sweet to me tonight. I know how bad you wanted to win. So I’m dedicating my winning speech to you. Party!” Katya laughed and hugged Adore. The crowd applauded and laughed as Adore and Alyssa left the stage.

“You did good girl. Now you better keep in touch, because I adore you Adore.” Alyssa squeezed her close to her as they walked to her dressing room.

“Of course! Next time I’m in Texas I’ll text you.” Adore smiled and hugged her, walking to the end of the hallway after they finished saying their goodbyes.

Adore stepped into to her dressing room to get her things and she smiled to herself. She didn’t realize how much of an impact she had on Katya, and was touched that she was dedicating her speech to her.

Despite losing, she still felt like a winner.

——————————————————–

Adore turned the key into her apartment door and gasped when she saw her living room. There were big silver balloons spelling out Adore All Stars 2, and candles decorated the coffee table and bookshelves around the living room.

But then there was Roy, who was standing in the middle of the room with something behind his back, smiling ear to ear.

“I really did think you were going to win.” Roy blushed. “Is this too much?”

“No,” Adore breathed. “It’s beautiful. Thank you so much.”

God for losing $100,000 for the second time now, Adore really wasn’t feeling like a loser. Was that wrong?

“I need to ask you for a favor.” Roy said, stepping closer. He was looking exceptionally handsome tonight, wearing all black with his dark hair done up nicer than normal.

“What’s going on?” Adore asked nervously stepping backwards as she dropped her bag of things.

“I need you to close your eyes and follow me.” Roy held out one hand with a devilish grin. Adore looked down at his hand puzzled, and grabbed it hesitantly.

“Okay.”

Adore closed her eyes, and after a few steps she realized she was being lead into the bathroom.

“You’re going to feel something on your head, just go with it.” Roy instructed.

Adore cocked an eyebrow but kept her eyes shut as Roy placed the mystery item on her head. Whatever it was, it was heavy as fuck. Once it was secure, he put his hands on her shoulders and gave them a squeeze.

“Okay, open them.”

Adore opened her eyes and realized she was facing the wall of her bathroom. She felt her head trying to figure out what it was and spun around towards the mirror, gasping as she caught sight of her reflection.

“Roy, I can’t wear this-”

“Stop it. It was supposed to be ours 3 years ago and it was supposed to be yours tonight as far as I’m concerned. .” Roy snapped.

Adore knew how protective he was over his crown. Courtney tried it on one time and he had it sealed in glass after that happened. So for him to unseal it just for her was a huge gesture, especially when he wouldn’t even let Courtney wear it.

“Why am I wearing this?” Adore asked.

“Because, you need to know how I feel about you and well, about us. We share an empire now, even if we are just barely getting back together. Even if you decide that we are nothing, I believe we always shared that crown. You are my one and only queen, you need to see that you are worthy of wearing it and you were worthy of winning it, twice now. You were robbed.”

“No Roy. You deserved your win, and Katya deserved hers tonight. Don’t invalidate your win like that baby.” Adore looked at herself in the mirror and smiled. “But I really do love that you did this for me.”

“You really don’t feel like you need the crown? You’re not upset?” Roy asked bewildered.

“I’m a little upset.” Adore admitted. But I don’t need a crown to know that I’m special. You’ve shown me that it’s just a formality, the crown is something inside of you.“

“It is. Not everyone is a queen. But Adore, you were a winner both times and you didn’t even win.”

“I know that now.” Adore smiled at Roy.

“So tell me, what is it that I can do for my queen?” Roy asked.

“You can validate your win first off, because not one winner has been able to do what you did on our season. You can learn all about me all over again and support me no matter what. I love peanut butter sandwiches, and love, and helping the youth. But most of all, I love what we’ve created together Roy. I love that despite our crazy relationship with each other over the last few years we can pick up exactly where we left off and still be the same people.”

“What we have is so special Adore. I know it’s still so early, and we’re taking it slow but I wanted to play you a song.”

“A song?” Adore asked confused.

“Yes, a song. Since I’m not good with words I figured one of your favorite bands could do the honors. So we need to go, like now.” Roy checked his phone.

“Where are we going?” Adore asked confused, holding onto the heavy crown as Roy dragged her to her small patio.

“Look across the street.” Roy pointed.

On top of an old hotel building, was what appeared to be a band. Adore couldn’t see who it was, but she knew it must’ve cost Roy a fortune to get the band to perform on top of a roof.

The acoustics started and the singer began the song.

Love of mine, some day you will die

But I’ll be close behind

I’ll follow you into the dark

No blinding light or tunnels to gates of white

Just our hands clasped so tight

Waiting for the hint of a spark

“Oh my god, you fucking got Death Cab For Cutie?!” Adore exclaimed. Roy smiled excitedly and nodded, holding her in his arms.

If Heaven and Hell decide

That they both are satisfied

Illuminate the No’s on their vacancy signs

If there’s no one beside you

When your soul embarks

Then I’ll follow you into the dark

“This is the sweetest thing anyone’s ever done for me.” Adore said, wiping a tear from her eye.

“You’re a queen baby. You deserve the world.” Roy murmured.

In Catholic school as vicious as Roman rule

I got my knuckles bruised by a lady in black

And I held my tongue as she told me,

“Son, fear is the heart of love.”

So I never went back

Adore smiled as Roy pulled her closer to his chest.

“So do you get what I’m trying to say?” Roy asked.

“I do. I really do.” Adore whimpered.

If Heaven and Hell decide

That they both are satisfied

Illuminate the No’s on their vacancy signs

If there’s no one beside you

When your soul embarks

Then I’ll follow you into the dark

You and me have seen everything to see

From Bangkok to Calgary

And the soles of your shoes are all worn down

The time for sleep is now

It’s nothing to cry about

‘Cause we’ll hold each other soon

In the blackest of rooms

If Heaven and Hell decide

That they both are satisfied

Illuminate the No’s on their vacancy signs

If there’s no one beside you

When your soul embarks

Then I’ll follow you into the dark

Then I’ll follow you into the dark

“Roy?” Adore asked.

“Yes baby?” Roy smiled as he held her hand.

“I know it’s early and all, but I feel like we’ve been through so much throughout the years. I’m just gonna say it back; I love you too.”

“I love you, Danny.” Roy grabbed the back of the younger queen’s neck and pulled her in for a deep kiss. The moonlight danced on Adore’s pale skin as they embraced each other, Roy holding up the crown so it wouldn’t fall onto the ground.

The band started playing another song and the two finally parted, holding each other as they watched them sing underneath the stars.

Adore may not have won the crown, but she won in all of the ways that mattered. Now she had the love of her life by her side and there was absolutley nothing that could ruin this perfect moment.

For the first time in both of their lives, Roy and Danny were utterly and completely filled with happiness.

No matter what happened between them, Danny knew that he would never forget the way he felt about Roy tonight.

Together they shared an empire and a crown, one of which no drag race couple would ever match. No matter what happened between them, they would always share that experience.

Adore kissed Roy one last time before they decided to go inside.

“Adore, you look beautiful.”

“Only because you made me feel this way.” Adore smiled. “Thank you Roy.”

“For what?”

“For making my head and heart become in sync again.”

[rtawngs20815]

Last Words: Valentina Reflects On Her Time On ‘RuPaul’s Drag Race’

Throughout the ninth season of “RuPaul’s Drag Race,” Huffington Post Queer Voices will interview each departing queen on the Saturday following the air date of their elimination episode. Check HuffPost Queer Voices weekly to read about these queens’ reflections on their time on the show, as well as their legacies as queer artists and performers. Check out the previous interview with Jaymes Mansfield, Kimora Blac, Charlie Hides, Eureka O’Hara, Cynthia Lee Fontaine, Aja and Farrah Moan.

“RuPaul’s Drag Race” delivered a shocking blow this week when fan-favorite Valentina was sent packing ― largely because she didn’t know the words during her lip-sync.

Many people watching season nine thought that Valentina was a guaranteed top three finalist ― if not this season’s winner. The controversy surrounding her elimination spilled into the online Reddit community earlier in the week with the “Drag Race” subreddit melting down and former “Drag Race” contestant Phi Phi O’Hara somehow ending up at the center of the drama (head here to read more).

But, as with any season of “Drag Race,” fan favorites go home. In this interview with HuffPost, Valentina reflects on her sudden departure, Latinx representation on the show and what she wants people to take away from her contribution to the “Drag Race” world.

HuffPost: This came as quite a surprise for many fans of the show. Was it a surprise for you when it happened?

Valentina: Yes, it was a total surprise. I was in a state of shock and it’s a moment I don’t want to re-live ever again.

How did it feel to become the fan favorite of the season so quickly? Why do you think you resonated so strongly with fans?

I think I resonated with fans with my authenticity and my level of passion and love for my craft. I also have a really strong Latino fanbase and I think that I’ve been able to captivate them because they feel that they are finally represented and see a little of themselves in me.

As someone who entered the competition as such a young queen, do you feel like you changed and grew at all during your time on “Drag Race”? 

I did, definitely. There was so much that I learned about the craft of drag. I walked into the experience knowing that I wanted to elevate the art form of drag.

So much of the show’s fanbase now is young, teen and preteen girls. Why do you think “Drag Race” resonates so profoundly with them?

I think probably because they get to identify with our stories, and those young kids are at a point in their life where they still truly have their freedom in whatever they do. And those are the things that drag queens can do, by just living their truth unapologetically. There’s a lot of power behind that.

Why is it important to you to have your Latinx identity so visible and part of your identity as a queen? How can “Drag Race” help further understandings of Latinx culture?

It’s important because there isn’t a lot of Latino, or positive Latino, representation in the media ― let alone openly gay. I think it’s important for me to shed light onto my culture. It’s a huge responsibility, but walking onto “Drag Race,” I wanted to do this and show that [Latinx people are] more than a gardener, or a cleaner, or the butt of a joke. Being Latino is grand as well.

With “Drag Race” being on VH1 this season, do you see any important political implications of the show being on such a mainstream network at this specific moment in time?

It does have a political impact because I’m there to shed light to my culture when my community has been considered criminals and rapists. I’m there to show that we’re kind, and intellectual, and elegant and regal. It’s a rough political time, but I’m there to show that we’re fabulous and amazing. Just like any other American. 

What do you want to do with the platform “Drag Race” has given you?

This opportunity and platform that “Drag Race” has given me allows for me to continue achieving my goals and my dreams. And I hope to become the face of drag within all of Latin America.

Out of everyone left in the competition who are you rooting for?

I don’t know who’ll win yet, but if I were to watch as a fan I would probably be rooting for Nina Bo’Nina Brown. I really love her work.

What do you want people to understand about who Valentina is going forward?

That I’m very grateful to anybody who loves me, and that I love them back.

”RuPaul’s Drag Race” airs on Friday nights at 8 PM ET/PT on VH1. Check out “Untucked” below. Missed last week’s interview with Farrah Moan? Head here.

-- This feed and its contents are the property of The Huffington Post, and use is subject to our terms. It may be used for personal consumption, but may not be distributed on a website.

from DIYS http://ift.tt/2rouL7o

[grgedoors02142]

Last Words: Valentina Reflects On Her Time On ‘RuPaul’s Drag Race’

Throughout the ninth season of “RuPaul’s Drag Race,” Huffington Post Queer Voices will interview each departing queen on the Saturday following the air date of their elimination episode. Check HuffPost Queer Voices weekly to read about these queens’ reflections on their time on the show, as well as their legacies as queer artists and performers. Check out the previous interview with Jaymes Mansfield, Kimora Blac, Charlie Hides, Eureka O’Hara, Cynthia Lee Fontaine, Aja and Farrah Moan.

“RuPaul’s Drag Race” delivered a shocking blow this week when fan-favorite Valentina was sent packing ― largely because she didn’t know the words during her lip-sync.

Many people watching season nine thought that Valentina was a guaranteed top three finalist ― if not this season’s winner. The controversy surrounding her elimination spilled into the online Reddit community earlier in the week with the “Drag Race” subreddit melting down and former “Drag Race” contestant Phi Phi O’Hara somehow ending up at the center of the drama (head here to read more).

But, as with any season of “Drag Race,” fan favorites go home. In this interview with HuffPost, Valentina reflects on her sudden departure, Latinx representation on the show and what she wants people to take away from her contribution to the “Drag Race” world.

HuffPost: This came as quite a surprise for many fans of the show. Was it a surprise for you when it happened?

Valentina: Yes, it was a total surprise. I was in a state of shock and it’s a moment I don’t want to re-live ever again.

How did it feel to become the fan favorite of the season so quickly? Why do you think you resonated so strongly with fans?

I think I resonated with fans with my authenticity and my level of passion and love for my craft. I also have a really strong Latino fanbase and I think that I’ve been able to captivate them because they feel that they are finally represented and see a little of themselves in me.

As someone who entered the competition as such a young queen, do you feel like you changed and grew at all during your time on “Drag Race”? 

I did, definitely. There was so much that I learned about the craft of drag. I walked into the experience knowing that I wanted to elevate the art form of drag.

So much of the show’s fanbase now is young, teen and preteen girls. Why do you think “Drag Race” resonates so profoundly with them?

I think probably because they get to identify with our stories, and those young kids are at a point in their life where they still truly have their freedom in whatever they do. And those are the things that drag queens can do, by just living their truth unapologetically. There’s a lot of power behind that.

Why is it important to you to have your Latinx identity so visible and part of your identity as a queen? How can “Drag Race” help further understandings of Latinx culture?

It’s important because there isn’t a lot of Latino, or positive Latino, representation in the media ― let alone openly gay. I think it’s important for me to shed light onto my culture. It’s a huge responsibility, but walking onto “Drag Race,” I wanted to do this and show that [Latinx people are] more than a gardener, or a cleaner, or the butt of a joke. Being Latino is grand as well.

With “Drag Race” being on VH1 this season, do you see any important political implications of the show being on such a mainstream network at this specific moment in time?

It does have a political impact because I’m there to shed light to my culture when my community has been considered criminals and rapists. I’m there to show that we’re kind, and intellectual, and elegant and regal. It’s a rough political time, but I’m there to show that we’re fabulous and amazing. Just like any other American. 

What do you want to do with the platform “Drag Race” has given you?

This opportunity and platform that “Drag Race” has given me allows for me to continue achieving my goals and my dreams. And I hope to become the face of drag within all of Latin America.

Out of everyone left in the competition who are you rooting for?

I don’t know who’ll win yet, but if I were to watch as a fan I would probably be rooting for Nina Bo’Nina Brown. I really love her work.

What do you want people to understand about who Valentina is going forward?

That I’m very grateful to anybody who loves me, and that I love them back.

”RuPaul’s Drag Race” airs on Friday nights at 8 PM ET/PT on VH1. Check out “Untucked” below. Missed last week’s interview with Farrah Moan? Head here.

-- This feed and its contents are the property of The Huffington Post, and use is subject to our terms. It may be used for personal consumption, but may not be distributed on a website.

from DIYS http://ift.tt/2rouL7o

[chpatdoorsl3z0a1]

Last Words: Valentina Reflects On Her Time On ‘RuPaul’s Drag Race’

Throughout the ninth season of “RuPaul’s Drag Race,” Huffington Post Queer Voices will interview each departing queen on the Saturday following the air date of their elimination episode. Check HuffPost Queer Voices weekly to read about these queens’ reflections on their time on the show, as well as their legacies as queer artists and performers. Check out the previous interview with Jaymes Mansfield, Kimora Blac, Charlie Hides, Eureka O’Hara, Cynthia Lee Fontaine, Aja and Farrah Moan.

“RuPaul’s Drag Race” delivered a shocking blow this week when fan-favorite Valentina was sent packing ― largely because she didn’t know the words during her lip-sync.

Many people watching season nine thought that Valentina was a guaranteed top three finalist ― if not this season’s winner. The controversy surrounding her elimination spilled into the online Reddit community earlier in the week with the “Drag Race” subreddit melting down and former “Drag Race” contestant Phi Phi O’Hara somehow ending up at the center of the drama (head here to read more).

But, as with any season of “Drag Race,” fan favorites go home. In this interview with HuffPost, Valentina reflects on her sudden departure, Latinx representation on the show and what she wants people to take away from her contribution to the “Drag Race” world.

HuffPost: This came as quite a surprise for many fans of the show. Was it a surprise for you when it happened?

Valentina: Yes, it was a total surprise. I was in a state of shock and it’s a moment I don’t want to re-live ever again.

How did it feel to become the fan favorite of the season so quickly? Why do you think you resonated so strongly with fans?

I think I resonated with fans with my authenticity and my level of passion and love for my craft. I also have a really strong Latino fanbase and I think that I’ve been able to captivate them because they feel that they are finally represented and see a little of themselves in me.

As someone who entered the competition as such a young queen, do you feel like you changed and grew at all during your time on “Drag Race”? 

I did, definitely. There was so much that I learned about the craft of drag. I walked into the experience knowing that I wanted to elevate the art form of drag.

So much of the show’s fanbase now is young, teen and preteen girls. Why do you think “Drag Race” resonates so profoundly with them?

I think probably because they get to identify with our stories, and those young kids are at a point in their life where they still truly have their freedom in whatever they do. And those are the things that drag queens can do, by just living their truth unapologetically. There’s a lot of power behind that.

Why is it important to you to have your Latinx identity so visible and part of your identity as a queen? How can “Drag Race” help further understandings of Latinx culture?

It’s important because there isn’t a lot of Latino, or positive Latino, representation in the media ― let alone openly gay. I think it’s important for me to shed light onto my culture. It’s a huge responsibility, but walking onto “Drag Race,” I wanted to do this and show that [Latinx people are] more than a gardener, or a cleaner, or the butt of a joke. Being Latino is grand as well.

With “Drag Race” being on VH1 this season, do you see any important political implications of the show being on such a mainstream network at this specific moment in time?

It does have a political impact because I’m there to shed light to my culture when my community has been considered criminals and rapists. I’m there to show that we’re kind, and intellectual, and elegant and regal. It’s a rough political time, but I’m there to show that we’re fabulous and amazing. Just like any other American. 

What do you want to do with the platform “Drag Race” has given you?

This opportunity and platform that “Drag Race” has given me allows for me to continue achieving my goals and my dreams. And I hope to become the face of drag within all of Latin America.

Out of everyone left in the competition who are you rooting for?

I don’t know who’ll win yet, but if I were to watch as a fan I would probably be rooting for Nina Bo’Nina Brown. I really love her work.

What do you want people to understand about who Valentina is going forward?

That I’m very grateful to anybody who loves me, and that I love them back.

”RuPaul’s Drag Race” airs on Friday nights at 8 PM ET/PT on VH1. Check out “Untucked” below. Missed last week’s interview with Farrah Moan? Head here.

-- This feed and its contents are the property of The Huffington Post, and use is subject to our terms. It may be used for personal consumption, but may not be distributed on a website.

from DIYS http://ift.tt/2rouL7o

[mirkwoodshewolf]

That would be enough; Old!Roger Taylor x reader

*Author’s note*

Alright in honor of yet another Queen member’s bday this month one week after his friend and brother Brian, HAPPY 70TH BIRTHDAY ROGER MEDDOWS TAYLOR!! From all of us to you we hope you have a great birthday and always keep rocking and being your awesome self. Now this is my first time ever writing a current Roger Taylor fanfic so I hope I get it right and I hope you all enjoy this. So not really any warnings except swearing and a tad bit of angst but it’s all FLUFFY FEELS in the end. Enjoy my lovelies :)

Queen Taglist:

@psychosupernatural

@plethora-of-things

@ixchel-9275

@geek-and-proud

@queendeakyy

@waddles03

@coolcxt

_________________________________________________________

It all began in the winter 2016 when we were asked to perform live at the Grammy’s.  By we; I mean Adam Lambert, myself and Brian.  We were on the stage to wait the arrival of another artist we would be performing along with for the award show.  Apparently she’s a big name in America specifically on the Broadway spectrum. I would know because my daughters can’t stop listening to her recent musical she was in, “Hamilton.”

“Brian, Roger, Adam.” The producer called out to us. There walking beside him was a beautiful young woman around her early 30’s with (h/l) (h/c).  But what struck out to me was her eyes, she had the same blue eyes as I did, in fact she almost resembled me to a degree.  Hell looking back on all the times I dressed in drag, it was like looking at an exact copy. “I’d like the three of you to meet the performer you’ll be singing (y/n) (l/n).”

“Hello, I know you lot get told this a lot but—you guys were such an inspiration to me growing up. And Adam, you’ve got a range that I’ve never heard on any performer.”

“And what of you? Mrs. Eliza?” Adam vocalized which made her giggle.

“Hamilton fan I assume?”

“Girl are you kidding me? The second I heard about the album from a friend of mine I couldn’t stop listening to it. Your tickets are nearly impossible to get now.”

“I know. I never expected it to boom as it did. But as soon as Lin called me about the script and wanted me to be a part of it, I knew I had to get involved. It’s unlike any musical I’ve been in before.”

“I’ll admit my youngest daughter loves the show and couldn’t stop talking about it when we were in New York.” Brian spoke up.

“Oh wow I’m honored Mr. May.”

“Oh love, Mr. May was my father, please call me Brian.” The two shook hands with each other and she then turned to me. God she looked so familiar not just with my looks but she also had the looks of someone I once knew a long time ago.

“And the famous Roger Taylor. I must say it’s because of you I sought out the drums in my middle and high school band.” I snapped out of my daze and we shook hands with each other and said.

“I bet you were probably the best drummer there ever was.”

“Indeed, got my band to win Districts every year.” She said. “Would’ve gotten state champion my junior year of high school but unfortunately a few of the kids in the strings had to screw up the notes.”

“Been there before, mostly with this guy’s strings breaking.” I gestured toward Brian.

“Oh well forgive me but at least I wasn’t the one who forgot the lyrics to my own song.”

“I thought I told you to never mention that again!” I hissed leaving Adam and (y/n) to laugh.

“So shall we run some sound checks for a bit? I was told we’ll be performing after Pink.” (y/n) stated and we were all in agreement.

Throughout the day I couldn’t stop thinking about (y/n). Just the way she presented herself on stage just reminded me of someone but I just couldn’t figure it out.  After rehearsal one before the Grammys would begin in just 4 days, I sat in my dressing room when Brian came in and asked me.

“What is it mate? You’ve been out of sorts all day, what’s going on?”

“Brian, did…..did (y/n) look familiar to you?”

“You mean besides the fact she’s a Broadway star?”

“Brian I’m serious there was just something about her that just…..seemed familiar. Like I’ve seen her before.”

“You’re probably just overthinking this Rog, come and have a drink with Adam, (y/n) and I tonight. Adam’s buying this time after all.” I nodded and followed Brian to meet (y/n) and Adam outside.

We managed to find a nice restaurant pub nearby and as we ate a well earned late supper, Brian asked (y/n).

“So (y/n). How did you get involved with Broadway?”

“Well….it’s because of my mom. She was in Broadway, hell it’s been a tradition in my mom’s family. She was just a dancer but she was one of the best dancers according to critics.” At hearing that I choked on my water.

“Roger!” Adam exclaimed.

“Roger you okay?” asked (y/n).

“Yeah, yeah I’m fine just….went down the wrong pipe. Excuse me for a minute.” I raced out of the pub and into the fresh air as suddenly it occurred to me.

“Roger, what’s going on with you?” I heard Brian say.

“It all makes sense now. I should’ve remembered the last name, how could I be such an idiot?” I muttered to myself.

“Roger what are you talking about?”

“Do you remember when we did our last American tour at the start of the 80’s. And we performed at Madison Square Garden.”

“Yeah, where are you going with this?”

“Do you remember that Broadway show we saw? Umm West Side story I think it was? And I actually managed to hook up with one of the dancers.”

“Yeah (m/n). I remember you were crazy about her before you met Dominque.”

“I—I think the reason why she broke up with me was—because she was pregnant.”

“Hold on Rog. This is a serious allegation. You don’t think that (y/n) is…..”

“At first I didn’t get it but the more I look at her the more I see it. Brian she has my eyes, she’s almost like a reflection of me but with her mum’s hair. Brian I—I really think she’s my daughter.”

“So what are you going to do? You know you can’t just spring this up on (y/n) like this so suddenly.”

“I know, I know. I’ll….I’ll try to get alone with her and somehow slowly ease her into a conversation about her mum. Maybe I could even try to get reconnected with (m/n). To at least tell me why she never told me she was pregnant.”

“Now just be sure if you do get her contact information you don’t go off yelling at her. I’m sure she had her reasons…..”

“Reasons my arse Brian she kept my daughter away from me! I never even knew my first child would be a girl and I’ve missed so much….”

“Umm guys?” We turned to see (y/n) standing there. “Is everything okay?”

“No, I mean yes. Everything is fine love.” I assured her.  Her eyes gave off that same look her mum always made when she was concerned for my wellbeing.  God she really was my daughter.

“Okay, it’s just that you both were gone for a while and I got a little worried.”

“Don’t worry love, we’ll be just another minute.” She nodded before heading back inside.

“Just think about it carefully Rog. She seems to not know herself, so just proceed with caution.” Brian warned me one last time.

A couple days went by and it was just one more day till the Grammys.  I was now standing before (y/n)’s dressing room finally seeing a chance to talk to her in private.  I slowly reached my hand for the door and softly knocked on it and her voice rang out.

‘If it’s Debbie from the article fuck off I’m not giving you any dirt on Lin!’ God she really is my daughter.

“No love it’s Roger.” The door opened and she peeked out and said.

“Oh god I am so sorry about that Rog. I didn’t mean to do that I—”

“I get it, if you thought the press were bad today you should’ve seen them back in my day. God they literally camped outside your houses at the time.”

“Jesus, oh where are my manners please come in.” she said as she fully opened the door and allowed me inside.  I walked in and she closed her door and she said. “Can I get you anything? I’ve got water, champagne, some wine, beer.”

“I wouldn’t mind a beer.” I answered.

“Coming right up.” She went over to the minifridge and pulled out two bottles of beer and handed one over to me.  “So did you need anything?”

“Oh I just—see I feel like we haven’t really gotten the chance to really connect like you and Adam have, hell you even managed to spend some time with Brian and not get bored with him.” We both chuckled and I continued, “Only if you wish to. I don’t want to make you comfortable.”

“No, no it’s fine. I mean truthfully the reason why I never got to talk with you much is because…..well I’ve always been starstruck with you.”

“Me?”

“Yeah I know. All my friends had told me that out of every Queen member they’d be starstruck to meet it’d be Freddie. God rest his soul. I really am sorry about his death. I was just 11 years old when I heard the news. God I was depressed for weeks on end, couldn’t even listen to his voice without crying.”

“Yeah it—it was hard on all of us. I was actually on my way to see him. And I was just 300 yards away when I got the call….” I stopped as I felt tears fill my eyes.  Jesus retelling that day always makes me emotional.

“But he’d be proud of what you guys have done for the band. As well as everything else you all have accomplished. Even Deacy.” She said as she reached out and took my hand.  I smiled and placed my hand on top of hers.  It was then a picture caught my eye that stood on her makeup stand.

She turned around and smiled softly and said.

“That’s a picture of my mom and I at my first Broadway leading role. It was in Les Misérables when I got Fantine.” She reached over and grabbed it and handed it to me.  I took the picture in my hand and everything I had thought was officially confirmed.

There standing next to (y/n) was indeed (m/n) (l/n), the Broadway dancer I once fell in love with during our tour of America. She looked older than I last saw her, her hair was now a pixie cut short but she was still as beautiful as I remembered her being.

“Do you—still see her? I know life of a performer is tough and time constricting.” I asked her.

“I—visit her whenever I can. Bring her, her favorite flowers.”

“White lilies with baby’s breath.” We both said at the same time.  Oh bugger. “How did you know that?” she asked.

“She—she uhh….” C’mon Roger say something clever you old bastard! “She just looks like the type of woman who would love those flowers.” Oh please buy it please buy it please buy it.

“Okay.” She said a bit wearily.  “Well anyways I try to see her whenever I can. But it just gets harder and harder to visit her each time.” Huh? What did she mean by that? Is she sick? Was she abusive to her? Oh please tell me it wasn’t the latter.

“Whys that? If you don’t mind me asking?” I asked her.  She took back the picture from me and said.

“Well I’d like to clarify where she’s staying isn’t exactly a sunshiny place. It’s always hard to visit a cemetery.” What? Oh no.

“I’m so sorry dear. You don’t have to tell me the reason why…”

“No I feel like I should. After all you’re taking the time to getting to know me, might as well learn the whole package. Well this past year hasn’t been easy on me and my family. My mom was diagnosed with stage 3 breast cancer. We—thought we’d have more time, but just as I was about to tell her that I got the leading lady role in Hamilton…..” she trailed off and clasped her hand over her mouth.

I did the only thing that I could think of. I wrapped my arms around her and lay her head on my shoulder.

“Tell me…..how do you make the pain go away?” she whimpered out.  I squeezed her shoulder and rested my head on top of hers and answered her as honestly as I could.

“It’s hard, and it may never go away. But something that helps me cope with Freddie’s death is that I try to think of all the great times I had with him. I’ve been around the old bastard so much I know exactly what he would say to me if I allowed my grief to overcome me. He’d tell me; ‘oh stiff up a lip blondie! Stop feeling sorry for yourself, you tried your best and I know what you did. Now stop your whimpering you big softie’.” I soon heard a small laugh coming from her.

It was small but I at least got a smile from her, her mother’s smile just as I remembered it.

“Your mum knew you’d get the part, I’ll bet she had no doubt that you would. So I have a feeling she’d tell you to keep performing and don’t let her death stop you from your dreams.” I rubbed her arm comfortingly and kept her in my arms for a little bit longer until she finally calmed down.  She separated herself from me and said.

“God I probably look like a mess right now.”

“Not at all.” I replied as I wiped a few tears stains from her face.

“Thank you Roger, I—haven’t been able to cry like that since the funeral.”

“I’m always here whenever you need to vent your grief. It’s not healthy to keep it inside, especially for a long period of time.” I said as I rubbed her back.  She nodded and that’s when a knock was heard.

“Ms. (L/n), it’s time for final curtain rehearsal and discuss when you and Queen and Adam are going to perform.” One of the volunteers spoke out from the other side.

“Be right out just give me a few minutes.” She called back.  “Well I better clean myself up.”

“I’ll leave you to it then.” I stood up and prepared to leave her dressing room when I was suddenly hugged from behind.

“Thank you again Roger, really. You don’t know how much it meant to me.” I heard her voice say into my shoulder.  I smiled both with happiness but also grief as I turned and hugged her back.

“Anytime darling. Whenever you need to talk, I’ll be there.” She nodded then headed back over to her makeup chair and began cleaning herself up.  I stood there and watched her for a few minutes, just seeing her mother in her and remembering all the times I spent backstage on her shows seeing her get ready.

Soon the big day arrived, the Grammy awards 2016. Brian, Adam and I were in our car being driven to the award show where we would walk the carpet and do a couple of interviews.  Once we arrived, the crowd was already huge.

Hundreds of people screaming and cheering, hundreds of performers and nominees were strutting around getting their pictures taken. God what Fred would do if he were here right now, probably photobomb a few singers just to be cheeky.  After getting a few pictures in, we were stopped for an interview.

Much of it I barely paid attention to, that was until a question regarding to (y/n) came up.

“So singing along with famed Broadway singer of the American musical Hamilton, what was that like for you? Is working with a Broadway star different than other singers?”

“Oh (y/n) was a huge joy to work with. She and I are practically best friends right now and promised me tickets to the next show.” Adam laughed. “No, no she’s an amazing performer and it’s no different than working with any other singer. Less drama of course but no she was wonderful to rehearse with and I can’t wait to perform live with her.”

“And Brian, Roger? Did you guys feel out of sorts working with her? Like did she feel lower to you cause she’s just a Broadway performer?” What kind of question is that?

“No, not at all. As Adam said she was wonderful to get to know. She’s definitely got some surprises in store for us tonight as she sings with us.” Brian answered.

“Yeah Broadway performers are no different than any other singer. It’s all about just mixing in the differences each performer’s got and she was a wonderful mix into this performance.” I replied without wanting to ring the interviewers neck speaking so lowly about Broadway performers.

After the interview I then saw (y/n) talking with a female interviewer.  Wow and did she look beautiful.  She wore a spaghetti strapped royal blue backless dress which had a small train at the bottom of it.  Thinking it wouldn’t hurt to just go up and say a quick hello (after all I’ve seen actors and singers interrupt artists for a quick hello or greeting all the time).

“So yeah at first I was really nervous but then—Oh my god! Hey Rog!” She hugged me and I hugged her back saying.

“Hello love.”

“Also joining us is Queen’s drummer Roger Taylor, Roger how are you feeling?” the interviewer asked.

“Tired.” I answered which made us all laugh. “But also honored to be here, this is our first Grammy performance in like 20-30 years so it’ll be interesting to see how much has changed.”

“Don’t worry not a lot. I was just asking (y/n) how she felt singing with Queen and Adam.”

“Well I can tell you it’s been an honor to perform alongside a talented young woman like (y/n). She’s been an absolute pleasure to sing with and I can see why so many people love her in Hamilton.”

“Oh Rog stop you’re making me blush.” (y/n) groaned out as she tried to hide her face.

“Well I won’t keep you guys any longer. Good luck tonight and we’ll all be cheering for you.”

“Thank you.”

“Thank you so much.”

“No thank you. Cheers you two.”

“Bye.” We both walked away and as the press continued to holler and command more photos I said to (y/n).

“You look beautiful love.”

“Thanks, and you pretty handsome yourself.”

“Once a long time ago.” I stated.

“Hey now don’t say that.” She said as she playfully shoved me.

“Well then, shall I have the honor of escorting you inside milady?”

“Why of course you may.” She said in probably the most exaggerated British accent I had ever heard but I let it slide.  I hooked my arm out and she wrapped her arm around mine and the two of us walked inside.

“Well I’ll see you soon up on stage. My assigned seating is with my cast members since Hamilton is up for best musical album.” She said.

“Will do love, and good luck. I have a feeling you guys will win so many awards.” I told her.  She kissed my cheek and then headed out to meet with some of her cast members who were already there.  Seeing her with all her friends made me feel warm hearted.

“So you still gonna tell her after the show?” I heard Brian’s voice say.

“If I don’t I may never get a second chance. But there’s also something in me to not tell her. I mean what will she think of me when I do tell her?”

“I wish I could tell you what to do Rog, but only you can make that call. But whatever you choose, just make sure you don’t regret it.”  It was decided.

As the show went on, (y/n)’s first performance would be with her cast members singing the opening number of Hamilton. And hearing the song with my own ears, I was mesmerized, especially when she got to stand center stage singing the story of Alexander and his mother’s life after the father split.

Much like Queen, every voice blended so well together.  Even though there were so many of them, I could easily pick out each voice individually and hear it and their harmonizing just sent shivers up my spine.  By the end of the song, the audience roared in applause that I only heard in our concerts, but of course I was probably the loudest cheering for my girl.

As the show continued, we were now preparing to do our number.  I saw (y/n) take her spot by the piano and I walked up to her and said.

“You’re gonna do great love.”

“I know, I’m just nervous that I’ll mess up a key or note and end up messing you all up.”

“Don’t worry love, you’ll do great. I have faith in you.” I assured her as I placed my hand on her shoulder giving her a gentle squeeze.

“How do you always know what to say Roger Taylor?” she asked as he placed her hand on top of mine.

“It comes with being old.” I teased which made us laugh.

“Okay boys, Miss, we’ll be live in 2 minutes.” Said one of the producers.

“Well better get back up there.” I gestured towards my drum set.  She nodded and I walked away from the piano and sat down at my drum set twirling my drumstick in hand getting my head in the game.

“Welcome back to the 58th Grammy awards. And now for the long awaited performance of a lifetime. These guys have been kick butt in the music industry for years selling off millions of records since the 1970’s and joining them the runner up of American Idol as well as the leading lady of Hamilton. Here is (Y/n) (l/n), Queen and Adam Lambert.” The audience cheered and soon (y/n) began playing the piano as Adam began to sing “Don’t stop me now”.

Adam took the first verse of the song and as the song picked up Brian and I joined in with (y/n)’s piano playing as well as the bass player who was up on stage with us.  Lights flashing and Adam’s vice echoing through the speakers as he led the crowd in his own fashion.

By the second verse, the spotlight came onto (y/n) who kept playing the piano and I could hear the cast of Hamilton cheering for her.  Along with that soft soprano voice she used for her role as Eliza, for this song she unleashed such a raw, rock and roll alto range.  It was almost like if you could convert my rang into a woman’s voice, that’s (y/n).  

Also people suspect that most Broadway stars just sing and dance, well not this girl.  She’s told us that her mum taught her how to do the piano and guitar so she truly is a triple threat.

Along with playing and singing backup vocals on my cue, I couldn’t help but watch my daughter perform as at the instrumental break, her and Adam now stood side by side together and side stepped with each other like they practiced during rehearsal, she was a born performer. Whether Broadway or Rockstar, she was mine and her mother mixed together.

And that was enough for me to love her even more.

By the end of our piece, the audience was in a stadium sized cheer as we all came together at center stage, (y/n) standing between Adam and I as we waved of saluted to the audience in thanks.

More awards were given and soon it came time for award for ‘Best Musical theater album.’ An announcer read up all the musicals up for the award; Hamilton, An American in Paris, Fun Home, The King and I, and Something Rotten!

“And the winner of the best musical album goes to…..” all was silent and even I was tensed up with anxiety as I just wanted to race up there and rip the envelope myself.  I could do it much faster than this guy.  Finally it was open and he smiled and exclaimed into the microphone, “HAMILTON!!” I cheered out as loud as I could and whistled just as loud.

I could see (y/n) hugging her cast mates and everyone involved with the musical raced down the runway and up the stage as the audience roared with applause as the score of the opening number was playing and on the screen showed some shots of some of the actors in costume, including (y/n).

I wiped away the tears in my eyes as I kept cheering for (y/n).  She may think that no parent was there to see her get this award, but in truth she did have a father who was so proud of her and I just know (m/n) is cheering and crying in heaven.

Once the award show was finally over, I could see the entire cast of Hamilton all outside in a group huddle cheering and crying out as some of them including my girl holding a Grammy trophy.  Everyone was talking over each other in pure excitement that was until Lin’s proclaimed.

“Okay Hamilton cast, first round of drinks are on me tonight!” Everyone cheered and they all walked on ahead, that was until (y/n) spotted me.  She smiled and ran towards me and tackled me in a hug.

“Ohh I’m so happy you got to see it happen!” she exclaimed.

“Congratulations love. You and your castmates deserved to win.”

“Why don’t you come celebrate with us?” she offered.

“Oh no, no. You wouldn’t want an old grizzly man to cramp your style dear.”

“Hey what did I just tell you earlier?” she mocked.

“Besides; Brian, Adam and I need to be on the next flight out of here back to London to start planning our European tour.”

“So—this is it?” she asked sadly.  “Wow it…..it feels like this has all ended too fast.”

“I know what you mean. But you still got so many more awards to win love, you should be focused and celebrating every chance you get. Especially since rumor has it you’re up for a Tony award.”

“Yeah, never did I think I would ever get nominated for one. It’ll be my first nomination.”

“And I pray that they’ll call you Tony Award winner (y/n) (l/n) after you win it.” I said as I cupped her face and stroked her cheek.

“Thank you for everything Roger. And it was an honor to play alongside you. Give my love to Brian and Adam for me will you?”

“Of course.” We both kissed each other’s cheek and she went on ahead.

“Oh hey, next time you three are in New York, come see us. I can have security let you in backstage before and after the show!”

“We’ll take you up on that offer.” C’mon you old fool she’s walking away. You’ve got to tell her now. Do it! Do it! “(Y/n) wait!” she stopped and turned back around.

“Yeah Rog?” I walked up towards her and nervously stammered out.

“I—I uhh….Can we…..can we talk for a minute before you go? Privately.”

“Sure Rog, let me just text Leslie since he’s my ride to the bar.” She quickly sent a text to Leslie and once she saw the reply she said, “Okay he’s gonna wait for me in the parking garage and let the others know to wait for us. Where do you want to talk?”

“Mind if we go to my dressing room?” she shook her head and we both walked along to where Brian and I shared a dressing room before the performance.  Once we got in she immediately set herself down on the couch and took off her heels.

“God even though I wear heels every night on stage, I still don’t get used to stilettos. Whoever invented those heel brands must’ve had no skin whatsoever.”

“Yeah, they are a real pain in the arse.” I told her.

“So what do you want to talk about Roger?” she asked.

Here it was, the moment of truth.  It was either say it now or let it blow up in your face.

“You—you remember how I knew your mother’s favorite flowers?”

“Yeah.” She said wearily.

“Well, I was completely honest with you (y/n).”

“What are you talking about?”

“I—I knew your mother.” I saw her eyes slowly widen as she just stared at me.

“You knew my mother?”

“Yes. I first met her back in 1980. It was after a Madison Square Garden show, Freddie, John and I went to go see West Side Story at the time, and when I saw your mother on stage…..it was like I was looking at a true dancer on the stage. She outshined everyone.”

“Yeah she was known for that.” (y/n) reminisced.

“After the show I went up and talked to her. Of course she was feisty but I couldn’t help myself. I was drawn to her, and soon we eventually became friends. Very good friends.”

“But…..if you guys were so close, how come she never spoke to me about you?” I took a deep breath and slowly exhaled and I said.

“I’m sorry I have to tell you this, and you may hate me after I tell you. Maybe even think I’m a horrible person but I swear I didn’t know.”

“Didn’t know what? Roger please you’re scaring me. Just tell me what this is all about?”  I looked down at my feet for god knows how long before I finally looked up at her and told her straight up.

“I’m your father.”

All was silent as her face slowly turned from shock to absolute horror.

“At first I didn’t know when we first met. But there was something about you that just seemed familiar. Then the dinner when you said your mum was a Broadway dancer it got me freaked out thinking that it wasn’t possible, but then seeing a picture of your mum it only confirmed everything. I didn’t know she was pregnant I woke up one morning and she was just gone leaving a note telling me she was sorry. I don’t mean to spring this on you at once but I—”

“Stop! Stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop.” She muttered in haste as she held out her hand.

“(Y/n) I’m sorry I just……”

“Stay away from me.” She sneered.

“(Y/n) please I swear I…..” but she kept interrupting me as I kept trying to explain myself as gently as I could.  She kept muttering to herself till suddenly I felt this sharp pain across my face and I found myself down on the ground.

“Just stay away from me! You’re a crazy, senile old man. Just stay away from me or I’ll call the police!” she then raced out of the dressing room, but I could hear the sounds of her crying echoing through the hallway as she ran.

I blew it.  Now that all was said and done, I blew it.  She knew the truth and seeing her so upset just broke my heart.  I didn’t mean to confuse her or make her mad I just—maybe I was being selfish.  

It had been about four months since the Grammy’s and ever since I told (y/n) the truth, I just couldn’t think right.  Even during rehearsals with Brian and Adam my head just wasn’t in the game as it usually was and they could tell but they didn’t push.  Can’t say the same for the managers as well as the touring manager since we needed to prepare for our next upcoming tour.

“Roger?” I heard my wife Sarina call out to me.

“Please love I….I need a moment to myself.”

“Rog, I think you should really come to the living room. Someone came all this way to see you, and it’d be rude to just toss her out into the London streets.” I looked up at her and asked.

“Who is it?” she gestured with her finger to follow her.  We walked out of my basement studio and came to the living room to see Tiger Lilly, Rory, and Lola sitting with (y/n).

I couldn’t believe it, all my girls together and talking with each other.

“I—hope I’m not intruding or anything.” (y/n) answered nervously as she fiddled with her fingers.

“No not at all.” I replied.

“Girls why don’t we give them some privacy?” Sarina suggested and soon my three girls left us to chat.

“Didn’t feel the need to tell them quite yet.” She replied softly.

“Although I bet Tiger and Lola would flip knowing that Elizabeth Schuyler is their sister.” She softly smiled and then looked up at me.

“I—I made some calls to my uncle Bobby and aunt Jodie, my mom’s siblings and told them if they knew. And—turns out you weren’t some crazy old man. Apparently when my mom found out she was pregnant with me, she didn’t want to tell you. She claimed that Queen was finally getting the recognition that you guys deserved and she knew you weren’t the type to settle down. She thought you’d leave her or ask her to abort me. So she just decided to pack up her stuff and moved back to the states and never wanted to contact you again.”

“What?” I muttered in shock.

“That’s what my aunt and uncle said. And now that I think back, she always did step out of the room and never spoke when I would play a Queen record or when one of your songs came on the radio. She never said she hated you guys, just—couldn’t listen to your songs. And apparently she knew when it was a song written by you.” I smiled sadly and stated.

“(Y/n) I—I never wanted to confuse or hurt you.”

“I know you didn’t. I shouldn’t have acted like that.”

“No you had every right to act the way you did. I know I would.” I said as I sat in front of her.  Hesitantly I reached out and cupped her face in my hands and lifted her head up so that I could look into the blue eyes she inherited from me. “Listen (y/n); I have missed so much in your life. Your first steps, first word, the first show you got casted in, every important thing in your life. And I can understand if you don’t want me to be a part of it now. After all you’ve become successful on your own and have grown into such a beautiful young woman.”

“It was hard believe me.” She choked out.

“But you made it. Look at you now. And your mum would be so proud of you.” I saw tears drip down her face and she nodded.

“It’ll be hard, after all I never knew I had a dad. So I assumed it was just my mom and me, it’ll take some time to get used to having a dad but—will you be a part of my narrative?” I only smiled and quoted her character’s famed quote.

“That would be enough, love.” We immediately held each other.  I felt her bury her face into chest and I buried my face into her hair inhaling her scent.  I held her as tight as I could and couldn’t stop the tears falling down my face.

God I can’t believe this.  I had another baby girl, and at last I finally got the chance to hold her in my arms.  My eyes, attitude and looks along with her mother’s as well as her mother’s hair, we made a perfect Broadway angel.

About a week later it was the premiere of the London production of Hamilton.  As a first success, the American cast came to kick off the show and then auditions would begin here in London.  With the help of (y/n), she gave all of us tickets and the best seats for the show. Not just my family but Brian’s as well as Adam and his parents.  And seeing my angel in her element on stage in full costume and makeup, she reminded me of her mother but also had the front lady essence that Fred once had.

But the number that got me the most was the number ‘That would be enough’ when Eliza confirmed to Hamilton of her pregnancy after he was forced to be sent home from the war.  The lyrics hit me so hard and the chemistry between my daughter and Lin-Manuel Miranda made me think of me and (m/n).

I also saw how on certain parts of the lyrics especially towards the end of the song, I saw how she would look right at me. The way she evoked raw emotion and even allowed tears to fall down her face just shot some serious feels (at least I think that’s how Lola says people call it now) right in the heart.

I was proud of my Broadway baby, I’m glad that now we can be apart of each other’s lives now.  And that was enough.

[porchenclose10019]

Last Words: Valentina Reflects On Her Time On ‘RuPaul’s Drag Race’

Throughout the ninth season of “RuPaul’s Drag Race,” Huffington Post Queer Voices will interview each departing queen on the Saturday following the air date of their elimination episode. Check HuffPost Queer Voices weekly to read about these queens’ reflections on their time on the show, as well as their legacies as queer artists and performers. Check out the previous interview with Jaymes Mansfield, Kimora Blac, Charlie Hides, Eureka O’Hara, Cynthia Lee Fontaine, Aja and Farrah Moan.

“RuPaul’s Drag Race” delivered a shocking blow this week when fan-favorite Valentina was sent packing ― largely because she didn’t know the words during her lip-sync.

Many people watching season nine thought that Valentina was a guaranteed top three finalist ― if not this season’s winner. The controversy surrounding her elimination spilled into the online Reddit community earlier in the week with the “Drag Race” subreddit melting down and former “Drag Race” contestant Phi Phi O’Hara somehow ending up at the center of the drama (head here to read more).

But, as with any season of “Drag Race,” fan favorites go home. In this interview with HuffPost, Valentina reflects on her sudden departure, Latinx representation on the show and what she wants people to take away from her contribution to the “Drag Race” world.

HuffPost: This came as quite a surprise for many fans of the show. Was it a surprise for you when it happened?

Valentina: Yes, it was a total surprise. I was in a state of shock and it’s a moment I don’t want to re-live ever again.

How did it feel to become the fan favorite of the season so quickly? Why do you think you resonated so strongly with fans?

I think I resonated with fans with my authenticity and my level of passion and love for my craft. I also have a really strong Latino fanbase and I think that I’ve been able to captivate them because they feel that they are finally represented and see a little of themselves in me.

As someone who entered the competition as such a young queen, do you feel like you changed and grew at all during your time on “Drag Race”? 

I did, definitely. There was so much that I learned about the craft of drag. I walked into the experience knowing that I wanted to elevate the art form of drag.

So much of the show’s fanbase now is young, teen and preteen girls. Why do you think “Drag Race” resonates so profoundly with them?

I think probably because they get to identify with our stories, and those young kids are at a point in their life where they still truly have their freedom in whatever they do. And those are the things that drag queens can do, by just living their truth unapologetically. There’s a lot of power behind that.

Why is it important to you to have your Latinx identity so visible and part of your identity as a queen? How can “Drag Race” help further understandings of Latinx culture?

It’s important because there isn’t a lot of Latino, or positive Latino, representation in the media ― let alone openly gay. I think it’s important for me to shed light onto my culture. It’s a huge responsibility, but walking onto “Drag Race,” I wanted to do this and show that [Latinx people are] more than a gardener, or a cleaner, or the butt of a joke. Being Latino is grand as well.

With “Drag Race” being on VH1 this season, do you see any important political implications of the show being on such a mainstream network at this specific moment in time?

It does have a political impact because I’m there to shed light to my culture when my community has been considered criminals and rapists. I’m there to show that we’re kind, and intellectual, and elegant and regal. It’s a rough political time, but I’m there to show that we’re fabulous and amazing. Just like any other American. 

What do you want to do with the platform “Drag Race” has given you?

This opportunity and platform that “Drag Race” has given me allows for me to continue achieving my goals and my dreams. And I hope to become the face of drag within all of Latin America.

Out of everyone left in the competition who are you rooting for?

I don’t know who’ll win yet, but if I were to watch as a fan I would probably be rooting for Nina Bo’Nina Brown. I really love her work.

What do you want people to understand about who Valentina is going forward?

That I’m very grateful to anybody who loves me, and that I love them back.

”RuPaul’s Drag Race” airs on Friday nights at 8 PM ET/PT on VH1. Check out “Untucked” below. Missed last week’s interview with Farrah Moan? Head here.

-- This feed and its contents are the property of The Huffington Post, and use is subject to our terms. It may be used for personal consumption, but may not be distributed on a website.

from DIYS http://ift.tt/2rouL7o

[pat78701]

Last Words: Valentina Reflects On Her Time On ‘RuPaul’s Drag Race’

Throughout the ninth season of “RuPaul’s Drag Race,” Huffington Post Queer Voices will interview each departing queen on the Saturday following the air date of their elimination episode. Check HuffPost Queer Voices weekly to read about these queens’ reflections on their time on the show, as well as their legacies as queer artists and performers. Check out the previous interview with Jaymes Mansfield, Kimora Blac, Charlie Hides, Eureka O’Hara, Cynthia Lee Fontaine, Aja and Farrah Moan.

“RuPaul’s Drag Race” delivered a shocking blow this week when fan-favorite Valentina was sent packing ― largely because she didn’t know the words during her lip-sync.

Many people watching season nine thought that Valentina was a guaranteed top three finalist ― if not this season’s winner. The controversy surrounding her elimination spilled into the online Reddit community earlier in the week with the “Drag Race” subreddit melting down and former “Drag Race” contestant Phi Phi O’Hara somehow ending up at the center of the drama (head here to read more).

But, as with any season of “Drag Race,” fan favorites go home. In this interview with HuffPost, Valentina reflects on her sudden departure, Latinx representation on the show and what she wants people to take away from her contribution to the “Drag Race” world.

HuffPost: This came as quite a surprise for many fans of the show. Was it a surprise for you when it happened?

Valentina: Yes, it was a total surprise. I was in a state of shock and it’s a moment I don’t want to re-live ever again.

How did it feel to become the fan favorite of the season so quickly? Why do you think you resonated so strongly with fans?

I think I resonated with fans with my authenticity and my level of passion and love for my craft. I also have a really strong Latino fanbase and I think that I’ve been able to captivate them because they feel that they are finally represented and see a little of themselves in me.

As someone who entered the competition as such a young queen, do you feel like you changed and grew at all during your time on “Drag Race”? 

I did, definitely. There was so much that I learned about the craft of drag. I walked into the experience knowing that I wanted to elevate the art form of drag.

So much of the show’s fanbase now is young, teen and preteen girls. Why do you think “Drag Race” resonates so profoundly with them?

I think probably because they get to identify with our stories, and those young kids are at a point in their life where they still truly have their freedom in whatever they do. And those are the things that drag queens can do, by just living their truth unapologetically. There’s a lot of power behind that.

Why is it important to you to have your Latinx identity so visible and part of your identity as a queen? How can “Drag Race” help further understandings of Latinx culture?

It’s important because there isn’t a lot of Latino, or positive Latino, representation in the media ― let alone openly gay. I think it’s important for me to shed light onto my culture. It’s a huge responsibility, but walking onto “Drag Race,” I wanted to do this and show that [Latinx people are] more than a gardener, or a cleaner, or the butt of a joke. Being Latino is grand as well.

With “Drag Race” being on VH1 this season, do you see any important political implications of the show being on such a mainstream network at this specific moment in time?

It does have a political impact because I’m there to shed light to my culture when my community has been considered criminals and rapists. I’m there to show that we’re kind, and intellectual, and elegant and regal. It’s a rough political time, but I’m there to show that we’re fabulous and amazing. Just like any other American. 

What do you want to do with the platform “Drag Race” has given you?

This opportunity and platform that “Drag Race” has given me allows for me to continue achieving my goals and my dreams. And I hope to become the face of drag within all of Latin America.

Out of everyone left in the competition who are you rooting for?

I don’t know who’ll win yet, but if I were to watch as a fan I would probably be rooting for Nina Bo’Nina Brown. I really love her work.

What do you want people to understand about who Valentina is going forward?

That I’m very grateful to anybody who loves me, and that I love them back.

”RuPaul’s Drag Race” airs on Friday nights at 8 PM ET/PT on VH1. Check out “Untucked” below. Missed last week’s interview with Farrah Moan? Head here.

-- This feed and its contents are the property of The Huffington Post, and use is subject to our terms. It may be used for personal consumption, but may not be distributed on a website.

from DIYS http://ift.tt/2rouL7o

[repwincoml4a0a5]

Last Words: Valentina Reflects On Her Time On ‘RuPaul’s Drag Race’

Throughout the ninth season of “RuPaul’s Drag Race,” Huffington Post Queer Voices will interview each departing queen on the Saturday following the air date of their elimination episode. Check HuffPost Queer Voices weekly to read about these queens’ reflections on their time on the show, as well as their legacies as queer artists and performers. Check out the previous interview with Jaymes Mansfield, Kimora Blac, Charlie Hides, Eureka O’Hara, Cynthia Lee Fontaine, Aja and Farrah Moan.

“RuPaul’s Drag Race” delivered a shocking blow this week when fan-favorite Valentina was sent packing ― largely because she didn’t know the words during her lip-sync.

Many people watching season nine thought that Valentina was a guaranteed top three finalist ― if not this season’s winner. The controversy surrounding her elimination spilled into the online Reddit community earlier in the week with the “Drag Race” subreddit melting down and former “Drag Race” contestant Phi Phi O’Hara somehow ending up at the center of the drama (head here to read more).

But, as with any season of “Drag Race,” fan favorites go home. In this interview with HuffPost, Valentina reflects on her sudden departure, Latinx representation on the show and what she wants people to take away from her contribution to the “Drag Race” world.

HuffPost: This came as quite a surprise for many fans of the show. Was it a surprise for you when it happened?

Valentina: Yes, it was a total surprise. I was in a state of shock and it’s a moment I don’t want to re-live ever again.

How did it feel to become the fan favorite of the season so quickly? Why do you think you resonated so strongly with fans?

I think I resonated with fans with my authenticity and my level of passion and love for my craft. I also have a really strong Latino fanbase and I think that I’ve been able to captivate them because they feel that they are finally represented and see a little of themselves in me.

As someone who entered the competition as such a young queen, do you feel like you changed and grew at all during your time on “Drag Race”? 

I did, definitely. There was so much that I learned about the craft of drag. I walked into the experience knowing that I wanted to elevate the art form of drag.

So much of the show’s fanbase now is young, teen and preteen girls. Why do you think “Drag Race” resonates so profoundly with them?

I think probably because they get to identify with our stories, and those young kids are at a point in their life where they still truly have their freedom in whatever they do. And those are the things that drag queens can do, by just living their truth unapologetically. There’s a lot of power behind that.

Why is it important to you to have your Latinx identity so visible and part of your identity as a queen? How can “Drag Race” help further understandings of Latinx culture?

It’s important because there isn’t a lot of Latino, or positive Latino, representation in the media ― let alone openly gay. I think it’s important for me to shed light onto my culture. It’s a huge responsibility, but walking onto “Drag Race,” I wanted to do this and show that [Latinx people are] more than a gardener, or a cleaner, or the butt of a joke. Being Latino is grand as well.

With “Drag Race” being on VH1 this season, do you see any important political implications of the show being on such a mainstream network at this specific moment in time?

It does have a political impact because I’m there to shed light to my culture when my community has been considered criminals and rapists. I’m there to show that we’re kind, and intellectual, and elegant and regal. It’s a rough political time, but I’m there to show that we’re fabulous and amazing. Just like any other American. 

What do you want to do with the platform “Drag Race” has given you?

This opportunity and platform that “Drag Race” has given me allows for me to continue achieving my goals and my dreams. And I hope to become the face of drag within all of Latin America.

Out of everyone left in the competition who are you rooting for?

I don’t know who’ll win yet, but if I were to watch as a fan I would probably be rooting for Nina Bo’Nina Brown. I really love her work.

What do you want people to understand about who Valentina is going forward?

That I’m very grateful to anybody who loves me, and that I love them back.

”RuPaul’s Drag Race” airs on Friday nights at 8 PM ET/PT on VH1. Check out “Untucked” below. Missed last week’s interview with Farrah Moan? Head here.

-- This feed and its contents are the property of The Huffington Post, and use is subject to our terms. It may be used for personal consumption, but may not be distributed on a website.

from DIYS http://ift.tt/2rouL7o

[repwinpril9y0a1]

Last Words: Valentina Reflects On Her Time On ‘RuPaul’s Drag Race’

Throughout the ninth season of “RuPaul’s Drag Race,” Huffington Post Queer Voices will interview each departing queen on the Saturday following the air date of their elimination episode. Check HuffPost Queer Voices weekly to read about these queens’ reflections on their time on the show, as well as their legacies as queer artists and performers. Check out the previous interview with Jaymes Mansfield, Kimora Blac, Charlie Hides, Eureka O’Hara, Cynthia Lee Fontaine, Aja and Farrah Moan.

“RuPaul’s Drag Race” delivered a shocking blow this week when fan-favorite Valentina was sent packing ― largely because she didn’t know the words during her lip-sync.

Many people watching season nine thought that Valentina was a guaranteed top three finalist ― if not this season’s winner. The controversy surrounding her elimination spilled into the online Reddit community earlier in the week with the “Drag Race” subreddit melting down and former “Drag Race” contestant Phi Phi O’Hara somehow ending up at the center of the drama (head here to read more).

But, as with any season of “Drag Race,” fan favorites go home. In this interview with HuffPost, Valentina reflects on her sudden departure, Latinx representation on the show and what she wants people to take away from her contribution to the “Drag Race” world.

HuffPost: This came as quite a surprise for many fans of the show. Was it a surprise for you when it happened?

Valentina: Yes, it was a total surprise. I was in a state of shock and it’s a moment I don’t want to re-live ever again.

How did it feel to become the fan favorite of the season so quickly? Why do you think you resonated so strongly with fans?

I think I resonated with fans with my authenticity and my level of passion and love for my craft. I also have a really strong Latino fanbase and I think that I’ve been able to captivate them because they feel that they are finally represented and see a little of themselves in me.

As someone who entered the competition as such a young queen, do you feel like you changed and grew at all during your time on “Drag Race”? 

I did, definitely. There was so much that I learned about the craft of drag. I walked into the experience knowing that I wanted to elevate the art form of drag.

So much of the show’s fanbase now is young, teen and preteen girls. Why do you think “Drag Race” resonates so profoundly with them?

I think probably because they get to identify with our stories, and those young kids are at a point in their life where they still truly have their freedom in whatever they do. And those are the things that drag queens can do, by just living their truth unapologetically. There’s a lot of power behind that.

Why is it important to you to have your Latinx identity so visible and part of your identity as a queen? How can “Drag Race” help further understandings of Latinx culture?

It’s important because there isn’t a lot of Latino, or positive Latino, representation in the media ― let alone openly gay. I think it’s important for me to shed light onto my culture. It’s a huge responsibility, but walking onto “Drag Race,” I wanted to do this and show that [Latinx people are] more than a gardener, or a cleaner, or the butt of a joke. Being Latino is grand as well.

With “Drag Race” being on VH1 this season, do you see any important political implications of the show being on such a mainstream network at this specific moment in time?

It does have a political impact because I’m there to shed light to my culture when my community has been considered criminals and rapists. I’m there to show that we’re kind, and intellectual, and elegant and regal. It’s a rough political time, but I’m there to show that we’re fabulous and amazing. Just like any other American. 

What do you want to do with the platform “Drag Race” has given you?

This opportunity and platform that “Drag Race” has given me allows for me to continue achieving my goals and my dreams. And I hope to become the face of drag within all of Latin America.

Out of everyone left in the competition who are you rooting for?

I don’t know who’ll win yet, but if I were to watch as a fan I would probably be rooting for Nina Bo’Nina Brown. I really love her work.

What do you want people to understand about who Valentina is going forward?

That I’m very grateful to anybody who loves me, and that I love them back.

”RuPaul’s Drag Race” airs on Friday nights at 8 PM ET/PT on VH1. Check out “Untucked” below. Missed last week’s interview with Farrah Moan? Head here.

-- This feed and its contents are the property of The Huffington Post, and use is subject to our terms. It may be used for personal consumption, but may not be distributed on a website.

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Last Words: Valentina Reflects On Her Time On ‘RuPaul’s Drag Race’

Throughout the ninth season of “RuPaul’s Drag Race,” Huffington Post Queer Voices will interview each departing queen on the Saturday following the air date of their elimination episode. Check HuffPost Queer Voices weekly to read about these queens’ reflections on their time on the show, as well as their legacies as queer artists and performers. Check out the previous interview with Jaymes Mansfield, Kimora Blac, Charlie Hides, Eureka O’Hara, Cynthia Lee Fontaine, Aja and Farrah Moan.

“RuPaul’s Drag Race” delivered a shocking blow this week when fan-favorite Valentina was sent packing ― largely because she didn’t know the words during her lip-sync.

Many people watching season nine thought that Valentina was a guaranteed top three finalist ― if not this season’s winner. The controversy surrounding her elimination spilled into the online Reddit community earlier in the week with the “Drag Race” subreddit melting down and former “Drag Race” contestant Phi Phi O’Hara somehow ending up at the center of the drama (head here to read more).

But, as with any season of “Drag Race,” fan favorites go home. In this interview with HuffPost, Valentina reflects on her sudden departure, Latinx representation on the show and what she wants people to take away from her contribution to the “Drag Race” world.

HuffPost: This came as quite a surprise for many fans of the show. Was it a surprise for you when it happened?

Valentina: Yes, it was a total surprise. I was in a state of shock and it’s a moment I don’t want to re-live ever again.

How did it feel to become the fan favorite of the season so quickly? Why do you think you resonated so strongly with fans?

I think I resonated with fans with my authenticity and my level of passion and love for my craft. I also have a really strong Latino fanbase and I think that I’ve been able to captivate them because they feel that they are finally represented and see a little of themselves in me.

As someone who entered the competition as such a young queen, do you feel like you changed and grew at all during your time on “Drag Race”? 

I did, definitely. There was so much that I learned about the craft of drag. I walked into the experience knowing that I wanted to elevate the art form of drag.

So much of the show’s fanbase now is young, teen and preteen girls. Why do you think “Drag Race” resonates so profoundly with them?

I think probably because they get to identify with our stories, and those young kids are at a point in their life where they still truly have their freedom in whatever they do. And those are the things that drag queens can do, by just living their truth unapologetically. There’s a lot of power behind that.

Why is it important to you to have your Latinx identity so visible and part of your identity as a queen? How can “Drag Race” help further understandings of Latinx culture?

It’s important because there isn’t a lot of Latino, or positive Latino, representation in the media ― let alone openly gay. I think it’s important for me to shed light onto my culture. It’s a huge responsibility, but walking onto “Drag Race,” I wanted to do this and show that [Latinx people are] more than a gardener, or a cleaner, or the butt of a joke. Being Latino is grand as well.

With “Drag Race” being on VH1 this season, do you see any important political implications of the show being on such a mainstream network at this specific moment in time?

It does have a political impact because I’m there to shed light to my culture when my community has been considered criminals and rapists. I’m there to show that we’re kind, and intellectual, and elegant and regal. It’s a rough political time, but I’m there to show that we’re fabulous and amazing. Just like any other American. 

What do you want to do with the platform “Drag Race” has given you?

This opportunity and platform that “Drag Race” has given me allows for me to continue achieving my goals and my dreams. And I hope to become the face of drag within all of Latin America.

Out of everyone left in the competition who are you rooting for?

I don’t know who’ll win yet, but if I were to watch as a fan I would probably be rooting for Nina Bo’Nina Brown. I really love her work.

What do you want people to understand about who Valentina is going forward?

That I’m very grateful to anybody who loves me, and that I love them back.

”RuPaul’s Drag Race” airs on Friday nights at 8 PM ET/PT on VH1. Check out “Untucked” below. Missed last week’s interview with Farrah Moan? Head here.

-- This feed and its contents are the property of The Huffington Post, and use is subject to our terms. It may be used for personal consumption, but may not be distributed on a website.

from DIYS http://ift.tt/2rouL7o