#weird prompts this year

[asha-mage]

MDZS AU where Jiang Cheng realizes that Lan Sizhui is the Wen orphan that Wei Wuxian took care off during the Burial Mounds arc, decides that's close enough to qualify him as Nephew, declares that no Nephew of His (much less a surrogate son of Wei Wuxian's) is going to be raised in the Cloud Recedes, and immediately launches into a custody battle with Lan Wangji.

But since neither Jiang Cheng or Lan Wangji can acknowledge that Sizuhi has any connection to Wei Wuxian, both begin steadfastly and stubbornly insisting that he is a Cultivator of peerless potential and skill and he belongs in their sect thank you very much, and would clearly be very unhappy in the other's. This confuses the hell out of the already mystified Cultivation world, who had barely adjusted yet to gossiping about Sizhui being Wangji's illegitimate child by mysterious love affair.

(Eventually the common consensus in the rumor mills is that both JC and LW where in love with Sizhui's mother and both believe themselves to be Sizhui's real father.)

(LW couldn't care less what gossips say, but JC has to bite his tongue till it bleeds to avoid telling anyone the truth in a fit of anger.)

(It was Nie Huaisang who put that rumor out in the first place, partly to troll JC, partly because, in a way, it's a little true.)

[shummthechumm]

NICKELODEON/BACKYARDIGANS OFFICIAL HIRE ME I CAN HELP YOU!!!!

[puppetmaster13u]

Prompt 81

Danny blinked at the small children Ellie was holding the hand of, looking quite proud of herself. The small children- between ten and twelve so somewhere similar to Ellie’s age- who both practically stank of magic and Gods. 

He took a deep breath, pinching the bridge of his nose even as Dan cackled while opening the door more to let them inside. “Alright, what’s your name, kids?”

“B-billy…um, Billy Batson...” “‘m Percy! Percy Jackson.” 

“Nice to meet you two- any idea where in your family you have a god or two, because one of you definitely smells like Zeus and I’m pretty sure Poseidon and I am not dealing with either of my half-brothers.” 

[dragondawdles]

did an art sprint challenge thing tonight have a sub-2 hour deku link

[rillils]

🌸 post-catws stucky + hug

The first tendril of want shocks him like a splash of ice-cold water poured down his spine.

Bucky doesn’t know at first – doesn’t know what, doesn’t know how. But the want is there, curled up in his chest: small, and starving, like some trembling newborn thing whose first taste of life is hunger, crying to be fed and soothed.

There’s a half-remembered feeling in the back of his mind, something he reaches for when the want aches sharp and spark-bright inside him. The word for it is short and sweet in Bucky’s mouth, so gentle it barely touches his tongue at all, all throat and soft palate: ‘hug’.

It’s a simple concept. Two arms go around one body – that’s all it takes. One step, and there it is: a hug. And Bucky imagines it vividly: his own mismatched arms around Steve, and Steve’s arms folding around him, like a circle – the shape of the infinite, of timeless things like the two of them. A line that should end, but constantly finds one more beginning instead.

He tries to see it, Steve’s broad chest brushing against his as their bodies meet, the swell of Steve’s arms enveloping him, Steve’s big palms splayed wide against his back, touching him. Gentle. Like Steve’s eyes on him are gentle; like the clasp of his hand on Bucky’s shoulder is gentle, always. So gentle, perhaps, that Bucky would hardly even feel the hug around him.

But he would take it, gentle or no. Because the truth, where it lies in the empty pit of his stomach, is that he starves for it, day after day, the want pulsing inside him with every beat of his heart. He just doesn’t know how to ask for it.

So Steve does the asking for him.

His hair is ruffled, limned with copper and wisps of gold in the late afternoon light, and his hands are unsure, nervous. But his eyes. His eyes take Bucky in, searching, urgent – and for a moment, Bucky is sure that Steve, too, must have been starving for this.

“Can I hug you?” he says, and the word sounds especially sweet when it’s Steve pronouncing it. When there’s a ‘you’ attached to it, and that one syllable becomes two, joined seamlessly together, and the new word rolls smooth and honeyed down the curl of Steve’s tongue, hug you, hug you, hug you. “Would that be okay?”

Bucky wets his lips. ‘Yes,’ he means to say, but the word that slips out of his mouth in a rasp instead says, “Please.”

So Steve gathers him close, two arms and one body and his nose buried in Bucky’s dark mop of hair, and he carves a snug space out of himself to make room for Bucky right there, his hands fisted in the back of Bucky’s shirt, their chests pressed so tight together that his heartbeat pounds behind Bucky’s ribs.

It’s not a passing touch, the fluttering echo of a hug Bucky feared he might barely feel. It’s persistent. It’s desperate. It’s a hungry little thing, a creature to be fed tenderly, steadily, so it’ll grow and live, and live.

He wraps his own arms around Steve, and grasps at him just as fiercely as his want commands, a wet exhale shuddering out of his lips to land in the crook of Steve’s neck.

He was wrong, he realizes now, framed in Steve’s embrace like a timeless work of art. He was missing a step.

A hug is a simple concept: two arms go around one body, and they hold on.

[kastillia]

Truth is only an illusion.

[that-weird-thing-in-the-woods]

I have drink the brain juice again and just watched the haunted mansion so this is very much inspired by that

The Haunting of the RoseWall manner

So Danny leaves amity (you all know the drill at this point that I don’t really need to explain) and destroys the portal so his parents and the GIW can’t get to it and run or well flys away as fast as he can and flys for days straight without taking any breaks so he crashes into a giant garden and when he wakes up he is meet with the faces of two small children ( The little girl who well call Rosalyn and a little boy named Aspen they both look like their around 5-6 years old) and as they see that he is awake the leave the room that now that Danny looks at it looks like something you would find it a old victorian house that looks untouched anyway the two came back with a girl who introduces herself as Noa she looks to be around 9-10 and she introduces the two as her little siblings and that one of old Bobbie’s hounds found him and when Danny ask where he is Noa says that he is in the RoesWell manner and that it is inhabited by 99 spirits that’s when a very pretty woman who looks like she’s in her late 30s and wearing and introduces herself as Mother no name just Mother and asks Danny how he got into this situation and that’s when the water works start and Danny just tells this woman everything so let’s just say she has a healthy hatred of the Fentons and the GIW and her mothering instincts kick in and she just goes

Mother who just heard everything this poor child has gone through “Ok your my child now you have no choice in the matter”

Danny who’s freshly parentheses and newly traumatized “ uh ok just don’t shoot me pls”

And after that Mother along with his new siblings… he guesses leave the bedroom and make their way to the giant ballroom where there are all the ghost in the manner are to meet the new guy and Mother makes Danny and the siblings go with one of the teenagers to a different room/ and or the garden and tells the rest of the adults about what Danny has gone through and let’s just say Danny now has a army of aunts and uncles and grandparents who really want to murder the people who hurt him and after a few months of staying there it starts to change him but not in a bad way ( and also all the residents of the manner have a rose somewhere on their person or it is something on their clothes) and the younger ghosts of the manner like to play dress up with Danny so he most often hanging around some of the younger residents while wearing a dress or other outfits from different time periods that some of the older ghosts like giving him

And now to the JL but so Constantine gets a heads up about a place with 100 spirts and decides to go check it out and as he does he finds Danny and some of the younger residents first and that’s all I can think of for the DC part of this I might add more later

And I won’t be adding a design part because of the outfits the older ghosts give him and I’ll probably add more in later posts 

And that’s all I have for that the moment ( sorry if it’s a bit scatter brain this is really a last minute thing) byeee

[cucosbiggestfan]

gave up on goretober but heres all the artness of the days before (under this cut since theres gore (obv))

blehhjhrhhreh

[ilovereading5252]

DpxDc promt

Danny knows he can get a bit hyper focused. Especially if it concerns him personally. So maybe he didn’t notice that other places also had ghost problems. So what? He fixed it didn’t he. He even said sorry, all right. He will pay more attention from now on.

The Justice League, probably: It’s alright, we forgive you, but what did you do with them?

[lindamccartneysstrap]

I do think like at least half the reason I find mclennon so compelling is how insane Paul has been since John died. Like I know it makes me a bad person or whatever but it's just so fascinating to observe. Like you'd think he'd get normaler after literal decades but no he's literally just gotten worse...

[player1064]

kate for someone reason thinking jamie is homophobic not sure why or how but she does (sara has me obsessed with the idea that they can’t stand each other now lol) and then him introducing her to gary and she’s like 🤯 ft. micah in the corner like you didn’t know he never shuts up about him???

god Kate and Jamie literally CANNOT STAND EACH OTHER!!! I'm OBSESSED with that dynamic tbh!!!!!!! As always. this one is much longer than intended...

Also, don't need to have read it but this is technically intended to tie in to my fic Happy wife, happy life (but tldr Jamie regularly calls Gary his wife partly to keep their relationship under wraps but mostly bc. he finds it funny to call Gary his wife.)

---

“Obviously we’re done for the season right before pride month kicks off,” one of the CBS producers is saying, eyes darting over something on an iPad. “And since you four have been pretty popular we were thinking of including you in some of those ad campaigns, so if I could just get some dates off of all of you –”

“No,” Jamie says immediately.

All three of his colleagues snap their heads up to him, but only Kate looks at him coolly and says “no?”

Micah, because he’s Micah, chuckles and slaps Jamie in the shoulder, trying to diffuse some of the new tension in the air. “Not like you to turn down extra cash, Carra.”

Jamie rolls his eyes, pretends not to notice the way Kate’s eyes are burning into him. “Check my contract. Wish I could, honest,” he says to the producer, feeling very very glad that he had a clause added to his contract specifically so that he doesn’t have to take part in things like this, “But it just wouldn’t be do-able. You lot ‘ave fun, though, with yer rainbows and yer glitter.”

Kate just looks at him incredulously. “This is one thing you decide to take a stand on, mister ‘I don’t care about politics’?”

Rainbows just don’t really suit Jamie, is the thing. Nor does the extra scrutiny that comes from wearing rainbows.

Doesn’t really matter to him what Kate thinks of him, though, so he just shrugs and continues packing up his stuff for the day.

*

“Jamie – Jamie, I finally got onto Raya, can you have a look at my profile?”

Jamie looks up at Micah with a frown. “What the fuck is a Raya?”

“It’s a dating app,” Kate says from her end of the desk, in that unimpressed tone of hers that makes Jamie wonder why she’s bothering to insert herself into the conversation at all.

“An exclusive dating app,” Micah corrects, wiggling his phone in front of Jamie.

“Weren’t you already seeing someone?” asks Jamie, but he accepts the phone with a sigh and puts his glasses on. “I don’t – I’ve never used one of these things, what am I meant to be lookin’ at?”

Micah shrugs. “Didn’t work out,” he says breezily. “How have you never used a dating app, you’ve not been married that long. And look at yourself, you can’t tell me you weren’t a player before Mrs Carra came along.”

Jamie had got around a bit, in his playing days. Not much, mind, because he’d had to be careful, but he’d done alright. Unfortunately – and this is not something he’ll ever admit to anyone, even under duress – any thoughts of that had gone out the window the moment he’d walked onto the Sky campus after retiring.

“You’re right,” he says with a wink, “look at me. As if I’d need an app to find myself a bird. Why’d you want me to look at this, I’m not exactly your target audience. ‘less there’s somethin’ you’re not tellin’ us,” he adds, elbowing Micah and waggling his eyebrows.

Kate looks on unimpressed as the two of them double over in laughter. “Not that any of us would have a problem if you were, right Jamie?” she says haughtily.

Jamie catches Micah’s eye and has to fight back another bout of laughter. “Dunno,” he says, “I can think of one or two problems I’d ‘ave if Big Meeks here suddenly tried hittin’ on me.”

Micah bursts out laughing again, his hand clapping to Jamie’s forearm, and Jamie can’t help but join in – it’s infectious, okay?

“God,” Micah says, wiping a tear from his eye, “can you imagine how your missus would react. I’d never be able to work in television again.”

“Nah, she’d prob’ly send you a fruit basket, thank you for taking me off ‘er hands.”

Kate clears her throat and the two of them sober immediately at the sight of her raised eyebrow. “Maybe cool it with the outdated banter,” she says, “or do I need to remind you boys that you’re not in a dressing room anymore?”

She storms off, he heels click-clicking away as Jamie and Micah look at each other and try (and fail) not to start laughing again.  

*

“You didn’t want to bring your wife to the end of season party, then?” Kate asks politely, looking slowly around the room.

“Huh?” Jamie says eloquently, because he’s had a couple of glasses of prosecco and he’s not thinking as quickly as he usually might. “Oh, the missus. Yeah, she’s here but  – I dunno, she’s a bit shy, like. You didn’t invite Malik?”

Kate rolls her eyes, the way she always does when Jamie mentions her boyfriend. “Well, he lives in America. So.”

“Carra,” an annoying voice calls from just behind him, “Carra, come over ‘n meet Schmeichel? I’ve not seen ‘im in years, d’you know, I think I’d forgot how tall he was.”

Jamie puts a hand on the small of Gary’s back to keep him from bouncing around too much (the man is such a lightweight, it’s embarrassing), and says “I’ve already met Peter, you dolt. I work with ‘im, remember?”

Gary squints at him for a second. “You drag me all the way down to London, and then y’can’t even be bothered to –” he finally seems to realise that Jamie had been talking to someone, because he quickly shakes his head around a bit and holds a hand out to Kate with a smile. “You’re Kate, right? I love what you do on the show, honest, I’m always sayin’ people need to be meaner to James here.”

Jamie thinks he sees Kate blush a bit, like she hadn’t realised anyone else had noticed her dislike of Jamie, but she takes Gary’s offered hand anyway. “And of course you’re the famous Gary Neville, I’ve heard a lot about you,” she greets. “But aren't you still with Sky? What brings you to our little operation here?”

“Scopin’ out the competition,” he says with a wink, then turns back to Jamie. “Carra – Peter?”

“I said no! I’ll talk to him later, stop badgerin’ me.”

“Did you two travel down from Manchester together?” asks Kate, “You know, Jamie seems so invested in my relationship but none of us have ever met his wife, do you know where she’s got to?”

“Ah, his fuckin’ wife,” Gary mutters, smirking up at Jamie. Jamie winks in reply and slips his hand down a bit to pinch him on the arse.

Micah comes over, his tuxedo strained against his biceps, and he pulls Gary away from Jamie to throw an arm around his shoulder in a half-hug.

(Gary squirms a bit at the unexpected contact, but he still gives Micah a friendly pat on the chest.)

“Big Nev! It’s been ages, man – Jamie told us you were coming, but he’s promised that before and not delivered.”

“Been pretty busy, up in Manchester,” Gary says with a shrug, carefully extracting himself from under Micah’s arm and returning to Jamie’s side. “But I’m obliged to do the plus one thing at least two –” (“Three,” Jamie corrects,) “—fine, three times a year, and I figure there’re worse places to be.”

“Aw, you love it really,” Micah says. “I’ve always kind of wondered what it’s like to be a WAG.”

Gary rolls his eyes. “It’s a thankless job, to be fair.” He pokes Jamie in the bicep and adds “I’m going back to talk t' Peter, you miserable old twat. Honest, I’m always talkin' to Scousers fer you.”

“I already know –” Jamie starts to protest, but Gary’s already wandered off. “Ugh. Sorry about ‘im. You can’t take Mancs anywhere, can ya?”

The two Mancs he’s talking to look at him, unimpressed.

“He seemed nice,” Kate says carefully.

“He’s not,” Jamie replies.

*

“Good summer?” Micah asks, their first show back after the break.

“Brilliant,” Jamie replies with a grin. “It were my turn to choose the destination, so –”

“Ibiza?”

He nods. “Ibiza. The house was done just in time, too.”

“You know, I can’t really imagine Gary in Ibiza.”

“Oh, he hates it. Complained the whole time, but he does that wherever we go.”

He becomes aware that Kate is watching them from across the desk, not trying to hide that she’s listening to their conversation with curiosity. Jamie nods to her, all polite like. “Hows about you, Kate, good summer?”

“It was fine, I –” she shakes her head. “Sorry, you’re saying you go on holiday with Gary Neville?”

Micah scoffs. “Who else would he go with?” he asks, and Jamie points to him in agreement.

“I dunno, his wife?”

Jamie blinks.

He thought he’d got all this out the way, dragging Gary along to the party a couple of months ago. Apparently not.

“Gary is my wife,” he says, then suddenly feels very stupid saying that to someone who’s not already in on the joke, so he corrects to “my husband, I mean. Obviously he’s not – he’s a man. Obviously.”

Kate’s eyes are wide, unblinking. She looks between Jamie and Micah, lips pressed together while her brain seems to be buffering.

“You’re married to a man?” she says eventually. “But you’re not gay, I mean – you’re –”

Jamie, who last time he checked definitely was gay, raises an eyebrow, amused. “I’m what?”

“You’re a footballer,” she attempts, and oh, this is far too easy.

“Bit ‘omophobic, that, sayin’ footballers can’t be gay,” he replies, holding back a smirk.

“Oh shut up, you know what I – you’re a lad! You’re always with the banter, and the…”

Thierry wanders over, freshly brewed cup of tea in hand. “What have you two done this time?” he asks, looking pointedly at Jamie and Micah.

Jamie raises his hands to protest his innocence.

“Thierry,” Kate asks, reaching a hand out towards him, “did you know Jamie’s married to a man?”

Thierry rolls his eyes. “Ugh, fucking Neville,” he replies, and goes to sit down.

[pynkhues]

just came out if loustat ao3 tag... maaaaan it does look bleak for bottom lestat enjoyers. my feed is literally just "bottom louis bottom louis feminization mpreg abo bottom louis"... and so on ad nauseam

sophie you are my only hope :')

It's certainly a fandom with preferences, haha

[randomtheidiot]

You know, I’ve been mulling it over, and most “woke-ified” redesigns of popular characters could actually be good as an AU if you think about how X character would be affected by being in Y group, as well as the effects on the story they’re in. So long as you’re not claiming to “fix” the character, it’s harmless fun and it’s a neat thought experiment. People are just too easily offended these days.

[cyanidesymphoniesxylophones]

Hi! I'm new to both HASO and Tumblr, so sorry if I get anything wrong, but I'd really like to read about an alien finding about periods. Perhaps smelling someone's blood, and panicking, and Human-Flor is all like "chill, it's just one of the parts of my inner reproductive system falling down, happens all the time" Thanks!!

You found a good blog to ask this about, Anon. I studied medicine before highschool, and this is a very funny prompt. I wish I do your hopes justice.

--

"Why the hell are you big strong Lupis scared of Maria every so and so days?" Rhea, a galaacn, with her oozy body, doesn't understand why the wolflike crewmates (and most other Terrans) were afraid of the Terran Gunner, Maria. "It's not like she's from a predator race, she seems nice."

"You say that, Rhea, but you haven't seen Maria when she smells of war and violence." The youngish poetic Lupi that she liked, Vark, piped up. "She smells of blood and rage."

"So? Terrans sometimes cook for themselves--"

"Blood like that doesn't smell like food. It's Maria's blood."

"What?! You mean to say Maria bleeds enough for you to be scared of?!"

"N-no, see, Rhe--" Astal, an older Lupi, interrupted. "Female Terrans go through something called a menstruation. They shed their breeding organ's lining every once in a while, and that makes Maria scary."

"It's something natural?! For who, bludbecks?! And why would that alone scare you?!"

"Again, you haven't seen Maria when she's in her 'period', as the other Terrans call it. She becomes someone else, and extremely quick to fight."

"The only upside to Maria's rage is she's still Maria. Just a lot angrier." Vark says, further confusing Rhea. The galaacn doesn't have any concept of menstruation, and since most races breed whenever it's in season, they don't understand humans.

"We could ask Terrans, but they're averse to talking about it."

"Why?"

"Because Maria thrashed me and Vark when she found out we were snooping, saying that it's rude to ask sensitive things about a woman."

Humans are confusing, Rhea thought.

[suffercerebral]

me having gone to bed at 6 am every day for the past week and generally spiraling mentally while rotting in bed waking up this morning: a 4 mile hike in the heat is a really good idea right now, and while we're at it let's start like 3 art projects

[weirdstrangeandawful]

Whumper who makes a huge deal out of Whumpee's social mistakes.

Bumped into a neighbour on the sidewalk? They have to go over and over to do whatever work they need doing.

Spilled water at a restaurant? Have to show up and personally apologise and compensate them for the 'damage'.

Accidentally insulted a friend? Need to get them the most expensive wine and gifts possible and hand deliver it to their door.

Whumpee doesn't know whether they've just been raised a rude bastard and this is how the world is supposed to be or if Whumper is toying with them or if Whumper genuinely thinks this is what people have to do when they screw up.