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stay-mon-army · 4 years ago

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The Soccer Incident

Warnings: A couple swears

Word Count: 2,534 words

Pairing: Junhoe x female!reader

Koo Junhoe was a contradiction. He was an anomaly in the usual order of things, and everyone seemed to love him for it. He was one of the most popular people in his university because he didn’t quite fit into any one category. He was a physical education major, he was the star player on the lacrosse team, the most sought after male player in the intramural soccer club on campus, he was arguably the most attractive jock in the whole school, and he was the reason there was a Jiu Jitsu club on campus. You would think hearing all of these accomplishments that he was a total meat head jock- there’s no way any man this invested in physical activity could ever be interested in more stationary, softer intellects.

However, Junhoe was also a creative writing minor. He was a part of a small writers group that he had compiled of poetry writers (like him) and fiction writers (a passion he deeply admires but didn’t have the same calling for). He had a few poems published in the school’s English journal, and was never caught without his leather bound notebook for his poetry.

Junhoe was one of the most versatile students in his university- but this never seemed to cross Junhoe’s mind. He didn’t see any reason why people would expect anything else from him. Why were people always surprised when they learned that the star lacrosse player was also a poet? Why were his friends in Jiu Jitsu club always laughing when they saw him scribbling away in his journal before meeting started instead of stretching like the rest of them?

Not everyone judged Junhoe so harshly, and there’s no way he could miss the way girls watched him when he walked around campus. Like he could ever be oblivious when the girls in his writing group created love interests that could almost be his doppelganger. Junhoe’s gay-dar was also almost flawless- it wasn’t just the girls that gave him heart eyes in passing.

However, there was one girl that totally ignored Junhoe— (Y/N) was the conundrum that Junhoe couldn’t figure out. He knew she liked boys- he’d seen her at parties with boyfriends, but she didn’t seem to notice him at all. He’d only tried to talk to her once, and she’d been kind, but she’d been late to class and had to rush off. Of course, it was just Junhoe’s luck that the only girl that Junhoe had eyes for was also the one who looked right through him.

He didn’t know much about her— it wasn’t like he was some stalker. He did know, however, that she was also a creative writing minor and was a junior- just like Junhoe. They had previously been in two classes together, which was how she had managed to catch his eye. She would come to class either dressed to the nines- perfectly designed outfits that matched all the way to the jewelry- or looking like she’d just rolled out of bed- her hair in a messy bun, a pair of sweats baggy and hanging from her waist haphazardly. To him, she always looked beautiful.

The thing that really won his heart, though, wasn’t her look or their similarities; it was the way that she always gave him blunt, brutally honest feedback on his pieces. Most of their others in his creative writing classes either don’t know enough to give good feedback, or were so infatuated with him that they gave nothing but blind praise for everything he wrote. (Y/N) was the only person except the Professor who could give advice that Junhoe could use— ideas that sparked Junhoe’s mind to make even better, deeper poems that expressed exactly what he meant.

Her straightforward nature had won him over, but was also the thing that stopped him from shooting his shot. Nothing scared him quite like the idea of being rejected by her— he could imagine it now and it gave him chills. His mind paints the picture without his consent; asking her out the next time they pass, her blank face staring before it morphs into one of pity, her soft voice explaining she’s not interested, her turning away— scurrying off before he can make it more awkward.

No, he’s perfectly fine admiring from afar. It hurt less; he’d rather her not know he exists than to be another weird boy hitting on a classmate he barely knows.

Fate seemed to have other plans for Junhoe, however. Or, more accurately, his best friend, who happens to run the intramural club. He had shown up slightly early for the club meeting that day and was surprised to see Donghyuk with (Y/N) and her best friend, (Y/BF/N), who was the best female player on the intramural team. He really was contemplating running in the opposite direction as quickly as he could, but he was a second too slow.

“Yo, Jun, come here!” Donghyuk waves him over, a wide grin on his face, knowing exactly what he was doing to the poor man.

With a deep breath and a lot of internal cursing of Donghyuk’s existence, he slowly jogged towards the trio.

“Dong, what’s up, man?” Junhoe had no idea what was coming out of his mouth, or why he suddenly sounded like some of the more asshole boys in his sports classes, but he was too focused on remembering to breathe and not trip to care much. Donghyuk’s eyebrows bounce at the greeting, obviously making the same judgement that Junhoe did, before nodding at him, playing it off.

“You know (Y/B/F/N),” Donghyuk gestures to the two women beside him. “This is her best friend, (Y/N). She’s going to take up Miyoung’s spot while her wrist heals.”

Junhoe nods at (Y/B/F/N), who smiles at him. He doesn’t know where he gains the confidence, but he looks directly at you and says, “Don’t we have a creative writing class together?” The automatic look of confusion makes Junhoe’s heart freeze, then instantly knock impossibly fast against his rib cage.

But then your eyes burst with realization, a huge grin splitting your face. “You mean Dr. Scott’s class? God, I’m barely alive for that class; how are you awake enough that early to know the other kids in that class?” You were laughing with him— though it took him a second to laugh along because wow you were having a conversation.

“I just really like the class— I zone out in most other classes.” It wasn’t a lie, he just didn’t point out you were his favorite part of the class. All his other writing classes over the semesters without you had been almost torture with all the fawning, ass-kissing girls.

“Yeah, Jun is actually a pretty shit student because he’d rather write poems and join every sports club on campus than do his damn homework.” Donghyuk nudges Junhoe, laughing as Junhoe balks at his words.

“Well his poems are good so it must pay off a little! I’ll be the judge today if the same can be said about his sport skills.” You chuckle, and try to ignore the look that (Y/B/F/N) is shooting you that Junhoe thankfully doesn’t catch.

Junhoe is too busy having to physically restrain himself from fawning over your praise. Luckily your friend jumped in just before he could combust with the effort.

“We should go get ready. Let’s go stretch under the shade over there, (Y/N)!” She loops her arm around your bicep, lightly tugging you away from the boys. You wave at them, looking simultaneously absolutely adorable and like you were afraid your friend would kill you when you reached the aforementioned shade.

When you finally turned to look at (Y/B/F/N), Donghyuk whacks Junhoe’s bicep hard, making him wince and rub the abused spot. “Make a move already, idiot. Are you blind, or just stupid? Did someone put you in a particularly tight chokehold recently?”

“Wh-what?” Well that told Donghyuk all he needed to know and he sighed as he rubbed his face.

“She likes you too, dipshit. Just ask her out already.” Junhoe stared at his best friend for a solid minute before he burst out laughing.

His eyes welled with tears as he gasped around peals of laughter, holding his ribs as his sides spasmed from the force of his laughter. He couldn’t believe Donghyuk had said that when he’d just done so much to try not to seem like a crazy person.

“You’re hopeless, I swear.” Donghyuk shakes his head, leaving Junhoe’s still cackling figure to go greet a couple other students in the club who had arrived.

Although Junhoe is able to physically calm himself down and begin to stretch for the game, his mind wouldn’t stop thinking of Donghyuk’s words, and he repeatedly had to stop himself from looking over his shoulder at you to see if you were looking at him too. Finally Donghyuk called everyone to the side of the field to split into teams.

Just Junhoe’s luck that he was on the opposite team as you. He had wanted to work with you to win— the idea of you two playing soccer together and beating the other team made his heart race in a way that confused him. It was just a little passing crush on you, why was he so invested in doing things with you?

Get yourself together, Junhoe, and get your ass out there.

He took a deep breath and huddled up with his team, splitting up positions and delegating who would play when, since there were so many members on both teams that they would change out players. Junhoe was to be the first member in the goal, which he wasn’t ecstatic about, but he accepted it with a grin. He could play any position just as well as the next person, so he knew he could keep the goal safe from the other team. He really would’ve preferred to be out on the field to show off his skills though—especially with you out there. You had pulled your hair from your face and you had shed the light jacket you had on previously to show off a band t-shirt, a group he absolutely adored to listen to while writing that he never would have expected you to like as well.

As he took his place in the goal at their end of the field, he watched you stand next to your friend, laughing at something she said, pushing her lightly. He couldn’t help but smile wide at how happy you looked—totally at ease despite the fact you were about to play soccer with a group that you barely knew.

Donghyuk shouted out a “start game” from his position on the sidelines (he was sitting out this first half, but he would later take Junhoe’s position, as he preferred to stay on the side, watching the action instead of running around). Junhoe’s team was a surprisingly good mixture of members; while not the best players, they seemed to work together beautifully today, and Junhoe’s job was mind-numbingly easy.

The ball almost never came to their side of the field, except for a handful of close calls that Junhoe quickly dispatched with calculated ease. His team was winning 3-0 with only about 10 minutes left for this half before they switched out the members. Hearing this minute warning seemed to light a newfound fire under your ass, however, and you suddenly seemed to learn exactly how to play soccer like a pro. Your goalkeeper had kicked the ball at you after saving it from another goal. Seemingly in a matter of seconds you were one with the soccer ball as you effortlessly handled it all the way across the field to his goal until you were only a few feet from him. You made eye contact and he could see the fire and drive in your eyes for a goal, and he made a conscious decision in that second to let you make the goal. He would let the ball through—what was one small goal anyway, and it was only an intramural game.

However, his plans changed quickly when you punted the ball—hard. Instead of going into the goal cleanly, like he was expecting, it went straight for his forehead, knocking his head back with a sharp thwack sound. He fell to the ground with a harsh groan, his hands coming up to rest on his face as the world spun and warped, pain spreading across his whole head. He lay on his back, cradling his head in his hands, as he grunted out swears that would make his mother smack him harder than the soccer ball had.

“Oh my god, are you alright? Jesus, I’m so so sorry.” Your voice was high and anxious, and racing closer to him. He moved his hands and opened his eyes, squinting against the harsh sunlight to see your face looking down at him. You were sweaty from all the running, and your hair was starting to fall back into your face, but he still couldn’t help smiling.

“God, you’re beautiful, (Y/N).” He didn’t know what that ball did to his head, but he didn’t really mind the sudden courage it gave him.

Your face dropped into shock before you burst out into glorious laughter, your face lighting up into the widest and most adorable smile Junhoe had ever seen.

“You’re crazy, Junhoe.” You brush a strand on his hair from his face before pressing a hand softly to his cheek. He closes his eyes and leans into the touch softly. “No, no, don’t close your eyes. We don’t know if you have a concussion yet.”

His eyes flutter open and look at you with soft eyes. He gathers the last bit of pain-drunk courage to blurt out, “Go on a date with me?”

You nod, looking down at his splayed figure. “It is the least I can do after almost taking your head off with a soccer ball.”

“Good kick, by the way.”

You both laugh at that as you stand, slowly taking his hands and helping him to his feet as well. He winces and places the heel of his hand between his eyebrows, where the most pain is currently radiating.

“Let’s get you an icepack.” You chuckle, putting his arm around your shoulder and walking him towards the nurse’s office. Donghyuk didn’t seem to even ask if Junhoe was alright, he was well aware that he would be fine with some rest and ice. Instead, he just jumped into his place with an accomplished grin on his face, starting the game right back up.

You didn’t need to help Junhoe all the way to the nurse, or stay with him for the 20 minutes he sat there with an icepack to his forehead, but the conversation you had was funny and sweet. And truth be told, you had noticed Junhoe many times in the past and had been drawn to him. You were more than happy for any excuse to interact with him outside of class. And thanks to this upcoming date, you would finally get the chance to get to know him that much better.

#koo junhoe imagine #ikon imagine #ikon #koo junhoe #ikon imagines #koo junhoe imagines #ikon ju ne #ikon june #ikon june imagine #ikon june imagines #ikon fluff

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imacrowcawcaw · 5 years ago

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Eyes of Juniper Ch. 1 (A Metallica Fic)

Ao3 Link

Author (as known on Various sites): Lady Lover- Rockfic, Luluthechoosingcrow - AO3, theladylovingcrow - Deviantart and Wattpad, @sammy_bluebells - Instagram, @imacrowcawcaw - main Tumblr, @insannywestan - Sanny shipping Tumblr Pairing: Lars Ulrich/James Hetfield, Kirk Hammett/Cliff Burton, Lars/Female Character (briefly), Lars/Male Character (kinda, more just awkward one sided flirting then Lars gets rescued by his knight in a ratty Motorhead shirt) Fandom: Metallica Tags/warnings: Sex-swap AU, early 80s era 'tallica, smut, gay smut, also het smut since the whole gender switch thing, drinking and alcohol, lots of cussing and profanity, should warn that Lars goes into detail about taking a piss cuz ya know it's new to him, Idk I'll add tags per chapter as I think of shit

Notes:

1. Okay, so I spent like months thinking about whether to do this or not. On the one hand, yes this has so much potential to be fun (and I've seen some other sex swap stories i like). On the other hand, a lot of the whole sex/Gender swap thing is really stereotypical gender shit and goes against what I personally believe. But, creative juices won out and I'll try to keep true to character as much as possible while also making this funny and not too misogynistic (if that's possible).

2. This is a work in progress! I started it a year and a half ago, and now a friend is helping me continue

3. This story is inspired by the song 'Jewel of the Summertime' by Audioslave (on their album Revelations) I love this song and it is awesome you should totally go listen to it.

4. The witch-lady is inspired by Aine, Celtic goddess of love, summer, wealth, and sovereignty. I literally just googled 'goddess of love' then scrolled through a list to find someone other than Aphrodite (don't get me wrong I love Greek mythology but it just wasn't right for this fic) and came across this girl. I only did a quick Wikipedia read, I'm not planning on going too heavy into her myth and more just using her for the plot but.... If anybody is more well versed in Celtic mythology and I seem to get something wrong, please feel free to comment and I'll try my best to make it accurate!

5. Woo damn that was a lot of stuff, I don't blame you if you didn't bother reading it. Now, on with the show!

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1984 (Lars' POV)

The first thing I felt when I woke up was this odd sense of.... well, just something being fuckin' off. Like I was missing something, but also like I had gained something? I felt like a brand-new person, although in my gut I was still me.... Man, I must have had WAY too much Jager last night, it's fucking with my head.

I slowly peeled the itchy fleece blanket off of my body and rolled onto the floor, which was about a foot from the bare mattress. We really needed to invest in some sheets, especially if we wanted to keep bringing chicks back to the house. Apparently, most girls are not at all impressed by stained, lumpy mattresses with almost no bedding on them.

Speaking of girls and mattresses, didn't I bring one home last night? I raised my head slightly from its position from the threadbare carpet and looked at the bed, trying to see if Anna (Was that her name?) was still there. Yep, there was a naked hippy still passed out in my bed, sweet!

I groaned quietly as I stood and shuffled my way out the door and down the hall to the bathroom. It was then I noticed that I didn't really have the usual alcohol-and-early-morning-and-piss induced erection, but my bladder was still straining. Huh, weird.

Whatever. I just wanted to pee, get rid of that feeling in my gut, and get that dead possum taste out of my mouth. Pushing open the door and wincing as the creaky hinges screeched through my headache, I pulled down my boxers and reached for my dick.... What the fuck?

WHAT THE FUCK?

WHERE WAS MY MOTHERFUCKIN DICK?!

Trying not to panic, I looked down, squeezing my eyes shut for a moment so I wouldn't have to see right away. But, of course, that kind of defeated the purpose of looking down, so I opened them again. No dick. The hell was going on?

Taking a deep, calming breath, I tried to think through this rationally. My dick, for whatever reason, was not where it was supposed to be. But, my bladder was still full and begging to be released, so obviously my system or whatever was still working. That need to pee was turning into a burning pain, so I tried to come up with a solution. If I don't have a cock, then I can piss through....what, exactly? Is there anything down there at all? What is even going on!?

Pulling in another deep breath through my nose, I let it hiss out between clenched teeth as I slowly, so slowly, touched my fingers to my abdomen and moved them downwards, dreading what I would find. Annnnnd....... Yep, there it was.

Velvety soft lips, slick, pungent juices; anatomy I knew so well but never, EVER expected to feel on myself. My crisis would have to wait a minute, though, 'cause my bladder was going to explode and no dick be damned I needed to do something about it.

Gingerly sitting my ass down on the toilet (god, so weird sitting down just to piss) I tried to slowly let it out. The feeling was...well there was certainly relief of the pressure, but it also felt strange in a way I couldn't really describe. I could possibly get used to it, not that I'm planning on staying like this or anything.

Cringing as I wiped, I slowly pulled the boxers back up to my hips that I just now noticed were a little wider than usual. And my hands, were they smaller? Softer? My chest too....HOLY SHIT I HAVE BOOBS! That, I might be able to get used to.

I turned to the mirror, and was quite shocked at what I saw. There was a girl standing there, with large, doe-like green eyes staring back at me from underneath brown bangs. She had a nice tan on her upper body, although her breasts were still pale where she clutched at them, small rosy nipples poking through her fingers. A pair of black cotton boxers stretched tight around the small curve of her hips, but hung loose around her milky thighs that almost touched. And this...this chick was me. ME.

Shaking my head, I splashed some water onto my face and rubbed my eyes, hoping it was just a fucked up dream. No such luck.

I was considering hiding in the bathroom forever, because no way in hell could I let the guys see me like this, let alone figure out how to explain, when I heard a scream. It sounded a lot like Kirk's voice, so I pushed my problems to the back of my head and ran into the hallway, stopping dead in my tracks at what I saw.

Anna, or whatever her name was, stood at the top of the stairs, dressed in flowing black robes with green Celtic designs all over them. She had jewels and charms hanging from her waist, wrists, neck, and ears, each tinkling as she tossed some sort of... Powder onto a very shocked looking Kirk. Or at least, I was pretty sure it was Kirk. He (she?) seemed to be in the same boat as me as far as bodies were concerned at the moment.

With a final dusting of powder, witchy-chick turned to me and smirked. "I hope you learn your lesson, I'll be back in a week. And as for you...." She turned to Kirk, "Well, you're just too damn cute! I couldn't resist seeing what a pretty girl you'd make!"

"This is your fault? You bitch! " I yelled. "Why the hell did you do this to us? Who are you? Change us back, then get the fuck out! I don't wanna be a damn girl, and neither does Kirk!" God this was fucking insane, that chick was crazy!

She hissed at me, eyes flashing in a way that could not be human. "Now you listen, GIRL. You'll stay like this for as long as I deem fit. You need to learn some respect for women, and being one is the best way to do that. I suppose you don't remember what you did last night?" She asked, looking bored and ready lo go fuck up someone else's life.

I thought hard, then it came creeping back to me. The bar, the Jager, the flirting with a group of girls, copping a feel and getting slapped, then her changing her mind and coming home with me, talking dirty in her ear, then unworldly sex, her whispering what sounded like a spell in my ear as I came... Holy shit.

"Is this about me grabbing your ass? I'm sorry! Please don't do this!" I begged, finally starting to let the situation sink in and desperation set. This could not be happening.

"Hmph," she snorted, "Begging isn't going to get you anywhere. I've seen humans beg for much less, and they still didn't get it. No, you'll love your life as a woman for a week, both of you, and hopefully you'll come to realize the struggles and terror that comes with it. If you've learned your lessons and are truly sorry, then you will be turned back. If not... Well you'll just have to stay like this until you do."

And just like that, she turned with a flourish and disappeared into thin air. My morning could not get any crazier, I was sure if it. But, because I wasn't actually sure and was suddenly doubting all logical occurrences in the world, I knocked on the wooden railing. That done, I turned towards Kirk.

He (seriously, do I call us he's or she's now? This is so fucked up) was shaking like a leaf, looking like he'd fall over any moment. I went over to grab him, calm him down, something.

"Shh shh, it's all right, Kirk," I muttered in his ear, awkwardly patting his back. I never thought I'd need to, but it really fucking sucks I can't comfort him any better than this. It was like this sour feeling in my chest that nestled in right next to my heart, whispering how awful I was at this and how he's probably mad at me for getting him into this situation.

Before I could ask him if he wanted to punt me out of a window, though, I heard some shuffling and talking coming from downstairs. James and Cliff were headed up here. As much as I wanted to hide for a week until my fuckin' "lesson" was up, I couldn't exactly drag Kirk into the hall closet in his current state, so I stood my ground.

"Hey, ladies, we do appreciate the service you've done our ugly ass friends, but could you keep the cat fight down until you've left the house?"

Ah, James, the man still didn't know how to talk to women after all this time. He was either too shy to form a sentence, or he put on this macho bravado that turned him into a drink asshole. Either way, this lady was not pleased.

By now I guess the guys had reached the landing Kirk and I were at and saw me hugging him, because Cliff chimed in, "Aww, they've made up! Good! Now, can I ask what exactly you two were telling about so loudly that it woke me and my boy James up? Did Lars do something?"

My back straightened at that, and I turned my head to him indignantly. "I did fucking not!" I retorted, even though apparently this whole situation was my fault. No need for them to know that, though.

"Holy shit, Lars!?!" James screamed.

I sighed. "Hi, Jamie."

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Chapter 2

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blakelakebake · 5 years ago

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Normality (Prologue)

A Natasha Romanoff Story

Summary: Normality has never been in the Black Widow’s dictionary. All her life she was trained in rough conditions and kill from just an order, never having the time for a domestic and simple life. But when she stumbles across a cute guy working in a small coffee shop and her leaving with just a number and a name on a cup, Natasha slowly learns the true meaning of what being normal is like.

Warnings: Fluff, some painful slow burn, okay maybe A LOT of painful slow burn, a bit of angst, language, eventual smut, domestic Natasha (because why not) and some good ol’ wholesome love for the great assassin.

Pairings: Natasha Romanoff x (Trans)Male!Original Character.

Characters: Natasha Romanoff, Azriel Carmel (OC), Clint Barton, Laura Barton, and basically anybody else from the Avengers and some OCs of mine.

A/N: I’ve been reading so much Natasha fanfics to the point where I’m obsessed. This idea came to me a while back, like months ago, but due to being in quarantine with not much to do other than do homework and play club penguin at 2am with friends, I’ve decided - with some encouragement from this really good fanfic that I read - to start this series with high hopes that I’ll be able to not procrastinate on it and actually finish it. Please comment what you think and hope you enjoy!

A Year After The Battle Of New York

"One caramel latte?" The voice, deep and smooth, called out. A woman stood up from her seat near the counter, smiling at the barista while grabbing her small mug of coffee, a thank you leaving her lips. The man smiled back, nodding as he turns back to making a black coffee for another costumer. He grabbed a small mug from the side, putting it onto a white plate as he clicks the portafilter into place, allowing the coffee machine do its magic.

Checking his watch, he sighed, his free hand reaching up to adjust his round glasses. Just twenty more minutes, he thought as the time nears eight o'clock at night, when his shift finishes. He places the cup on the coffee machine, allowing the dark liquid to flow into it. His eyebrows furrowed from a realisation, who's having coffee at this time? Mentally shrugging off the thought, he took the mug once the machine beeped and placed it back on the plate, bringing it to the counter.

"One black coffee?" Just then, a redheaded woman saunters towards the barista, causing him to pause for a bit, taking her appearance in. She was wearing a full black outfit, which wrapped around her figure perfectly, a black leather jacket complementing her even more. He couldn't help it, after all, he is a guy with hormones. But instead of checking her out more, he stopped himself and smiled at her, sliding the mug forward to bring it closer to the woman.

She grabs her drink by the plate, a stiff smile plastered on her face. "Thanks." The man smiled back.

"No problem." She walked back to her table where an open book is placed on top of it. She sat down, sipping her mug before placing it down and picking up her book, her legs crossed and her eyes focused.

The barista couldn't help but stare at her for a bit longer, intrigued and curious about the woman. His head tilted to the side a bit, his light brown eyes taking in her appearance. The woman must've notice, since her own eyes diverted from her book to him, causing him to quickly look away and continue on with his work, his nerves taking over his body as he fidgets around with some equipments.

Natasha looked at him, an eyebrow raised before looking back at her book. She sipped her coffee again, frustration slowly creeping onto her skin as her eyes lose focus from the story she was invested in just ten minutes ago. Ignoring the random thoughts that were trying to invade her mind, she chugged down her cup of coffee, placing her book back down before walking back to the till, her mug and plate in hand.

From behind the till, she saw that the barista had his back to her, his short, curly black hair swishing around as he moved swiftly within the small area, the smell of chocolate making its way into Natasha's nose as he placed the takeaway cup in front of a young girl who smiled at him before rushing out of the cafe.

He exhaled, a crooked, tired smile plastered on his face, his brown eyes slowly moving their attention from the wooden counter to the redhead staring at him with piercing green orbs. Startled slightly, his eyes went wide for a bit before fazing back to normal, his smile never faltering, only lifting slightly.

The barista's feet moved his body quickly to the till with him now facing Natasha once again. He immediately noticed the empty mug, chuckling before he put his attention back onto the redhead.

"Isn't it bad for you to have black coffee late at night." He said with amusement written across his face. She responded with a raised eyebrow, challenging him to talk further. Unfortunately, the man was blissfully ignorant. "Seriously, you won't be able to have your beauty sleep if you drink too much."

Natasha hummed, the corners of her lips moving upwards slightly, but her face still emotionless. "And aren't you supposed to be serving your customer?" The black haired man chuckled nervously, his large hand - not that Natasha noticed, no - moved to scratch the back of his neck.

"Sorry," Embarrassment washes over his face, a slight tint of pink on his light-tanned skin. "D'you want another mug of black?" The redhead looked at him blankly for a second before nodding her head, her hand passing her mug to the barista while her other hand reached into her pocket to grab her wallet.

The man gladly took her mug placing it on the counter behind him quickly before he turned back to face the redhead once again. He saw her waller in hand, and for some odd reason, he shook his head. "You don't need to pay."

Natasha looked back up from her wallet, her eyebrows rising a bit in question. The brown-eyed man mentally winced, almost regretting saying that, but instead of backing out from what he blurted out, he continued on, with less confidence. "Um, it's on the house."

Her face stayed the same. "Since, you know, the cafe's about to close, and there isn't anyone here, and I thought why not make this pretty woman some nice coffee for fr-"

"So I'm just a pretty face?" The redhead cut him off, amused at him nervously ranting in front of her. He was lucky that no one was around to witness it.

"What? No! I mean," His eyes kept on diverting to everything around the cafe except for the woman in front of him. He eventually gave up on whatever he was going to say and instead sighed, his shoulders deflating and his head tilted down slightly. "I'll just go make your coffee."

Natasha smirked, enjoying the fact that she could make any man a stuttering mess. "Two things," She then said, causing the barista to snap his attention back to her. "One, your name."

"Oh, uh..." Surprise was slapped across his face for a moment before he recovered a bit. "It's Azriel. What about yo-"

"Two," She held up two fingers which made the man - Azriel - stop himself from talking any further. "Can I have my coffee to go?"

The black haired man blinked, speechless and confused at the same time. He slowly nodded, his feet twisting him around so that he could continue on doing his work. Azriel placed the mug into the sink as he reached for a take away cup, only to pause, hesitance in his stance.

"Uh..." His light brown eyes met her green ones again. "D'you want a small or medium?" She started at him for a moment, her mind calculating and observing.

"Small." With a nod, the barista went back to work with a small cup in hand. Whilst the black haired man was focused on making her coffee, Natasha began thinking over the conversation. It was weird, strange even, that somehow, out of all the coffee places she could go to and people she could talk to, she just had to stumble across this small, yet comfy, coffee shop where the barista just so happens to be a cute guy that the assassin herself can't help but check out from behind him.

His body was lean, but not too skinny to make him seem lanky. His shoulders were slightly broad, unlike Steve's shoulders, and although his arms were covered by his long-sleeve sweater, she could tell that he had a slight muscle build from the way the material fit perfectly around them.

As her eyes raked over his body, she didn't seem to notice the small detail of Azriel writing some numbers and a few words on her cup once the machine finished making the redhead's coffee. He turned around suddenly, smiling brightly - though his eyes held some bit of exhaustion - causing Natasha's eyes to quickly divert from watching his firm ass (I'm still a woman with desires, she told herself as she forced her eyes to look at the man's slightly round face.

"Here you go." He said, nervously handing her the hot drink. She took it, her lips curving upwards, a small smile plastered on her mouth as she grabbed her drink.

"Thanks."

"Anytime." Azriel nodded, his eyes suddenly interested on the counter in front of him, earning a chuckled from Natasha as she walked towards the door. She opened it, causing a chime to ring through the empty shop, her head twisting around so that she could see the cute barista over her shoulder.

With a grin, she spoke: "See you later, Azriel."

"Y-yeah, see you!" He replied with a wave, his voice sounding a little too enthusiastic for a response, causing him to wince visibly after. Fortunately for him, the redhead was already gone, allowing him to sigh in relief. A content smile graced his lips for a bit before it dropped once he saw the time.

8:22pm.

"Ah crap." Azriel huffed in frustration, knowing that he won't be able to sleep for another two hours if he doesn't close the cafe soon. Throughout the night, from when he was sweeping the floor clean to when he finally got back to his apartment, green eyes circled around his mind, never leaving for just a moment.

#natasha romanoff #natasha-romanoff-x-oc #male original character #male oc #fanfic #fanfiction #black widow #marvel #avengers fic #fanfiction series #natasha romanov #trans man #trans character #transgender

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neshabeingchildish · 5 years ago

Text

Poly Wanna? Ch. 08

Lemme know if I need to take you off the tag. Idk who’s actually reading because I’ve only heard from a couple of people, so idk if y’all still interested.

@adorkable-blackgirl @chenoahchantel @riebellion @woahjusttakeiteasy-man @up-the-tube @ciara-knightly @cactus-con @oof–musicals @lesbian-so-what @meadowstryingtobepretty @imma-sensitive-btch @okaygal21 @midernacht @divinereign4ever @xoxoemille @itsyaapollochild

Sleepover at Henry's

Charlotte woke up and was startled by the appearance of a couple of faces hovering above her. “She’s awake! Hellooo! It’s me, Schwoz, from where you used to work!”

She held her hand over her chest, catching her breath as told him, “I know who you are, Schwoz!”

Ray folded his arms and fussed, “Well, you sure don’t act like you know us. We haven’t seen you in YEARS!”

“I was busy,” she said and was grateful that she hadn’t been sleeping naked, like she generally did. “Why are you in here?”

“Well, Henry went to handle a little business,” Ray said winking at her.

“Yes, he had some work to do..” Schwoz added, also winking.

“You could say that he has some feel good work…” Ray said, winking even more and now he and Schwoz were just smiling and winking way too much.

“The crew knows,” she said and moved Schwoz so that she could climb out of bed. She groaned as she did.

“Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Where are you trying to go?” Ray asked. “You can’t leave. Look at how banged up you are! Schwoz, get the Bang Bang Bag!”

Schwoz rolled his eyes, “I don’t work for you. You get the Bang Bang Bag.” They bickered for a moment, then noticed that Charlotte had gotten up and began to mess with her own things, primarily, her phone. “Fine! Fine, I’LL get the Bang Bang Bag!” She heard in the background as she checked to see that she had multiple messages from people who Jasper must’ve told that she had gotten hurt, including both of her parents.

Piper: I saw what happened on Bianca’s TwitFlicks! WTF??? Henry told me that you’re okay, but for good measure, I called up our Bilsky bunch. It's not going down the way that it did, Bruh. Gang Gang!! Seriously, CALL ME if you need anything. I’m just a few hours away, less on a plane.

Ya Mama: Baby, call me when you get a chance. I’ve spoken with the family lawyer and already have contact information from the witnesses for what happened. Hopefully, you’re resting.

That Muffugga: Charlotte, I’ve tried to call you several times. I know that you’re still mad and processing things, but you need to let me know if you’re okay and what you need. No matter what, you’ll always be my little girl and I’ll always be here for you.

Jasper: Your dad stopped by. I didn’t even know that he knew where I lived, but anyway, I can’t sleep. I’m so sorry about everything that happened. I… I’ll call you. My hands are shaking. I don’t want to type this out.

She had other texts, but she immediately checked her voicemail. She went specifically to Jasper’s, ignoring ones from her parents and electing to check Piper’s afterwards (it was probably prior to her text, anyway). “Hey, Char… Look… I hope that you don’t hate me. I promise, I was just trying to do the right thing… “So, here I am panicking, like oh my God, please don’t let Jasper have gone looking for that guy, because he’s so protective and even though he’s a big cuddle bear, he can be as dangerous as a bear whenever he’s in protective mode…” “I know how it can go down when a fight breaks out. You know that I’ve been bartending for a while and I see it happen when people get too drunk and angry… I was so concerned with making sure that you got help and trying to make sure that I stayed with you…” He sighed. “I should have taken more action. I’m sorry. And, I understand if you don’t feel as safe with me now or if you need your recovery time away from me. I just wanted you to know, I was actually thinking about you and I made the decision to try to get you to a doctor instead of making sure he needed to see one. I don’t know if that was the right choice, but I’m gonna let you decide things. Hoping to hear from you…”

She was about to call him back when she heard a loud bang and screamed. She turned to look at Schwoz, holding a bottle that he had uncorked and he and Ray both cheered, “Bang Bang!” Schwoz poured some of whatever it was in that bottle into a glass that Ray was holding. “The doctors said healing would take a few weeks, but we have a Schwoz! And, we have the Bang Bang Bubbly!” He offered her the glass.

“What is this?” She asked, not taking it.

“It’s a sparkling brandywine with fast healing properties and stuff in it that tastes great, makes you feel invincible and bangs out all of your injuries from the inside out!” Ray cheered. “Doesn’t work for me, because I’m indestructible, but the results in a typical human body are way way great!”

“Schwoz, what is this?” Charlotte repeated, taking the glass and studying it. Schwoz explained it to her and they went back and forth with her asking about side effects of certain ingredients and statistics of the countermeasures for those risks and Ray lost interest, but at the end of it, she sighed and said. “I’m gonna call Jasper and talk to him. Then, I’m gonna tell him about this. I’m gonna let him know that if something happens to me, it was this and you can deal with whatever that’ll mean for you.”

Ray scoffed. “I’m not afraid of Jasper!”

“I’ve gotten him his own stash of Jolly beetle tears.”

Ray gasped, “Why would you even HAVE those???”

“I did a major global study using them to break down certain unstable molecules and other very important usages that don’t revolve around you, but definitely was an important time for me to stock up and also invest in them. I knew we’d meet again and you won’t catch me slipping, Ray Manchester.” She began to dial Jasper’s number while Ray folded his arms.

“Hey!” Jasper answered, excited, but tired sounding.

“Hey. So, I woke up to something truly weird…”

“Ray and Schwoz excitedly trying to convince you to drink their Bang Bang Bubbly?”

She looked at the two of them, waiting with anticipation of her drinking it and turned away from them, making a suspicious and confused face. “Yes, but something more weird. I got this message from my man, and he was all weirdly sounding like he was blaming himself for something that wasn’t his fault or thinking for some reason that I blamed him.”

She could hear the relief in his next words. “I just wanted to make sure that we’re okay. I wanted to give you your recovery time without me, because I wasn’t sure how you were gonna process that I didn’t help you.”

“You did, though. How would it have helped me for you to punch that guy?”

“It would have helped me.”

“Okay, I don’t know how, but thank you for putting my wellness above your ego.”

“I hate it. I’m glad that you’re okay, but I hate that I didn’t slam him just as hard to the ground…”

“So far, I’ve been alerted that the Bilskys, my family’s lawyers and that girl Karma that I fucks with are all gunning for him. I just want to stop being in pain and to…” She looked at Ray and Schwoz, nearly bursting with excitement. “... Be able to cuddle with my Booty Bear."

"Okay!" Ray said and promptly left. Schwoz smiled and was still waiting on her to try his stuff. She shot it and handed him the glass, then her eyes watered. Jasper was about to say something, but she began panting and whimpering.

"You tried the Bubbly," Jasper observed.

"Why does it feel like my mouth and insides are on fire???"

"That means it's working," Schwoz and Jasper said simultaneously, one next to her and the other on the phone.

She crept out of the room and went to explore, clad in one of Jasper’s shirts that she sometimes wore to bed/around the apartment. Now that Henry was out heroeing, she had a chance to explore his place without an obligatory tour. She loved all of the flowers! They had always had plenty of flowers when she lived with him, too, but never this much. Plus, he had an indoor herb garden that the naturalista in her was craving to get to know better. Every plant was so healthy and it was like she could feel the vibrations of them and sense the love that went into making them strong. The artwork on the walls were a mixture of styles. She could tell that Henry pretty much just got things that he liked, and wasn’t going with a theme. The biggest painting was the one of him with flowers. She wondered who was commissioned to do it, because the details were excellent.

Each room seemed like it was in a different home, because so many of the vibes differed. Like, the bedroom that she was staying in was natural colors, browns, greens, neutrals, warm shades, filled with green plants, and had large uncovered windows, with plants outside of them. It was the perfect kind of room for her. It made her feel extremely comfortable and relaxed. There was a room that sort of looked like it was a cabin on a ship and had a fountain, so water sounds and earthy tones that seemed like a man cave, but not a busy one - somewhere you might go to become grounded. His living room was white, near the stairway, with plants on the wall and hanging from the ceiling in white globes, and the couch was sleek and black. It looked like he never used this room. All over the place were different goddess statues, most of which Charlotte recognized from mythology lessons years ago, but a few unfamiliar. There were poignant paintings, like one that was of a dark skinned woman, bound in chains and engulfed in flames, like a Black anima sola. It made her feel troubled to see it. There was a Black Madonna, that she couldn’t lie… KINDA looked a lot like her, but with a golden halo and stars and stuff. Then, there were others that weren’t as emotional - a list of Scorpio Men Facts: “The Scorpio Male Is Intensely Sexual, He Needs Deep Intensity, He Has Great Stamina, You Get What You Give in Love With Scorpio Men… HA! Lying ass. You get lying asses with Scorpio men.” Then, there was a holographic photo of fish swimming, like in an aquarium simulation. She furrowed her eyebrows and explored on.

Outside of his bedroom was a hallway of framed photos of the three of them, of course, all outdated, since she hadn’t taken a photo with he and Jasper in years. She opened the door to the bedroom (that was how she realized it was the bedroom), and she saw a beautiful, elegant white and gold bedroom with white and yellow (she presumed fake) flowers sprinkled along the ground, and a bed with an ornate gold canopy adorned with sheer drapery.

Normally, she wouldn’t have walked into someone’s bedroom, but she was now invested in the absolute lavishness of it and stepped in to look at the detailing of the headboard, and noticed other things, like the mirrored wall behind the bed, and floral designs in the gold of the bed and lamps. There were flower petals in the bed and she picked up and few to touch, and saw that those were real. Then she heard him clear his throat. She yelped. “Sorry, I wasn’t snooping. I was just looking around…” She said, dropping the petals. She stood up and looked up at him, still in his Feel Good uniform, a dark burgundy and blue armored outfit with silver and black accents and tools. She hadn’t seen him in it before. He… looked really good… “I gave myself a tour and the room was so pretty, I just wanted a closer look.”

“It’s all good. Make yourself at home,” he said and blew a bubble, which transformed him back to his regular self, in a t-shirt and jeans. He still looked really good, to her. “Did you sleep well?” He asked.

“I did. But, Schwoz came in with Bang Bang Bubbly, and now, I’m restless.”

“Yeah, that stuff is something else. But, it gets you healed quickly.” He was standing, with his hands in his pockets and they were quiet for a moment, before he said, “Oh, damn. I’m so rude. Have you eaten? I can make you something.”

“I haven’t, but Jasper was on his way over, so I thought we might get something.”

“I’ll call him and let him know I’ll cook. The least that I can do is be a good host, after getting you slammed onto concrete.”

“Why is everybody trying to take credit for that? I’m certainly not about to blame myself because I got up and walked towards her. He made a choice, and I’m pressing charges.”

Henry’s face brightened, “Thank God. I thought you’d wake up hating me even more.”

“I don’t hate you. I hate that you hurt me. I hate that I trusted you. I hate how things ended. But, I’ve decided not to hate any person for being whoever they are. Trying that whole “hate the sin, not the sinner” trope.”

“How’s it working?”

“To be honest, I feel like I’m more upset to have learned about how much you hurt Jasper.” He winced. “I mean, I know I can be a bitch, and I know that a lot of the time, I was insufferable. I can easily look back on past me and think that cheating on me was not as criminal as it felt at the time. Not saying that I don’t blame you for your choices, just that I understand them better, the older that I get. You still should have been my friend enough to be honest with me where you weren’t happy or satisfied, but… what happened with Jasper? No vague shit, no sugar coding. Tell me what you did to him.”

“I’m feeling like at this point, if Henry REALLY wants us to love him again, or at least me, he’s gonna have to start just being straightforward and straight up with me. Jasper and I are on two very different wavelengths, so it takes something different to appease me. I’m tired of being kept in the dark about Jasper, when they both know everything about what happened between Henry and I.”

Henry sighed, ran a hand through his hair and held his hand out towards the bed. She sat down and he joined her and began to tell her the truth.

“It all just kinda happened. It started out as a fling, a rebound, after you left… Like… three months after you left, actually… Well, if I’m being honest, it began before that. Jasper and I experimented in school. Nothing major, just making out and handies and stuff. But, that was shut down automatically when you and I hooked up, then you and I got together and I never thought about Jasper that way, really. I still thought he was attractive and lovable, but for me, we were done. When you and me were together those 4 years, Jasper, I guess didn’t get over me as easily and so whenever you and me broke up, he was there for me in a way that I wasn’t expecting. But, I was hurting and I needed it, whether or not it occurred to me that I needed him.

About a year later, he started talking about our ‘anniversary,’ like… we were together or something, and don’t get me wrong, we had been going pretty hard and heavy for a year, at that point, but I hadn’t expected a year of that to pass by. Jasper was just so good to me and so easy to be with. A year in, I still wasn’t emotionally where I needed to be in order to be good back to him. So, I told him that I didn’t want to put any labels on us…” “I was pretty scared of being in a relationship after what happened with Char. I didn’t realize at the time that being involved with Jasper the way that I was, WAS being in a relationship with him. I felt like we were two dudes who loved each other, having a good time together.”

“So… Whenever he spoke about this one year anniversary, I chickened out. I self sabotaged. I would try to tell him, but I’d see his face and lose the nerve. I knew that I was gonna hurt him, and I figured that it was best just not to tell him, even though I wasn’t happy and the fact that I was doing stuff behind his back was a huge portion of why I wasn’t happy…”

“Why didn’t you just STOP? You had your degree by then, didn’t you?”

“I had studied psychology, but I don’t know. I hadn’t sorted through my own things and hadn’t become self aware yet. My mom went to a specialist for a sex addiction. She didn’t tell me until around that time, because she heard things about me and was worried that maybe I had her sickness.” He laughed and shook his head, “I wasn’t addicted to sex. I was addicted to doing something terrible that I could get caught doing, and the fact that someone could be hurt again if I got caught… I didn’t care in the moment. Jasper saw mw leaving somewhere with a woman and whenever he tried to get in touch with me, I didn’t answer. When I got home, I told him that I was doing hero stuff. He didn’t believe me and we wound up arguing and I told him that I had slipped up a little, because I missed women.” Henry looked so ashamed as he shook his head, “He said that he understood and just asked me to be more open with him, said that he was willing to open up our relationship if it meant that I didn’t lie to him about being with women. And… so… we tried that, and a little later, I met a new guy.”

Charlotte took a deep breath and clenched her fists. “And, what, you cheated on Jasper again, this time with a guy?”

“Yes, but the guilt was killing me, so a few months after we were seeing each other secretly, I told Jasper…”

*Flashback Sequence*

After two years of being involved with Jasper, and technically one year, as far as Henry was concerned, Jasper wanted to celebrate their 2 year anniversary. He cooked, baked, set the atmosphere, with music and candles and flowers. Henry just couldn’t stand to lie to him anymore. He stopped him mid-kiss and said, “Jasper, we have to stop this.” Jasper was rightfully confused. He picked up the remote and turned off the music, to hear whatever Henry had to say, “I… I… don’t think that I’m meant to be a monogamous person.”

“You haven’t been, though. We have an open relationship, because I understood that sometimes you don’t want a man…”

“I’ve been seeing a man.” Jasper’s heart sank.

“What do you mean “been seeing?” Like… regularly? Not some one off mistake, but like… SEEING someone?” He glanced around for something to hold on to, grabbed the wine bottle and took a swig.

“Yeah. I’ve been seeing him for like 4 months, almost…” Jasper started crying and chugging the bottle. “I never meant for it to happen, but I can’t keep doing this. I can’t keep being this person behind your back and then becoming someone else whenever I’m with you. I do love you and I never meant to hurt you, but being with you was never my intention and I shouldn’t have let it go this far.”

“Let it GO THIS FAR? What the fuck are you talking about right now?”

“I’m just letting you know that you don’t have to worry about me cheating anymore, if that’s how you see this. Because, it’s over. I can’t do “us,” anymore.”

Jasper huffed out a pained gust of air and dropped the wine bottle. Henry quickly caught it before it could hit the ground. He set it down and said, “Um… You don’t have to pack your own things. I’ll box it up and send it to your mom’s.”

“I’m not leaving here! YOU leave. You’re the one who cheated!”

“Cheated is a strong word. We never used labels. I just didn’t tell you right away when I moved on. And… You can’t afford this place on your own, Jasper. Come on.”

“I’m not leaving this goddamned apartment while my world is fucking falling apart, you complete and utter asshole!”

“Okay. We’ll give it some time. I’ll go stay in Man Cave, and pack up my things whenever I know that you aren’t here. That way, we don’t have to deal with each other, until we’re ready to try to get past this.”

Jasper stared at him, not crying now, just in awe of what kind of person he was looking at - this stranger that he thought was his forever love. Who the fuck was this man? “Can you at least PRETEND to be a good person right now?”

“I pretend to be a good person every time I blow a bubble. Every time I save someone’s life. Every time I help someone’s day. I’m TIRED of pretending to be a good person. I just want to be able to be a person! And have somebody love /that/ person, without all these rules and regulations and expectations that I never gave you! I’m human. I make mistakes. I forgive you your mistakes all of the time, you can’t forgive me mine?” He snapped. Jasper didn’t know where THIS was coming from, but it seemed like he was speaking to someone else. He was thinking about Charlotte. Because, there had never been anything that Jasper hadn’t forgiven him for, until now.

Jasper stood up, hovering over Henry with a desperate look on his face. He wanted so badly to forgive him this. To say it was okay and that they didn’t need to be together and Henry didn’t have to lose him, but this...hurt him. “Your mistakes break people’s hearts, Henry! They break people’s lives. Charlotte is not the same person, and I’m seeing that I never will be the same again, either.”

Now, Henry became wounded. He was feeling attacked and therefore defensive and lashed back at Jasper, like he hadn’t already hurt him enough. He stood up quickly and Jasper stepped back, unsure if this might get physical. But, Henry blurted, “Charlotte at least loved me. She took me seriously. She told me what she needed and wanted and I tried and fell short. Charlotte could be a raging bitch, but I never had to guess what she expected from me. I never had to wonder if she cared or if this was just for mutual enjoyment and comfort. We had something very different and you comparing what happened with us to what happened with me and you is trash, Jasper! You freely gave me whatever I wanted and we never agreed that I had to be your faithful one true love or anything for that matter. If you wanted more from me, was I supposed to read your mind? I was just supposed to figure it out by the way that you never told me? I never did anything to directly hurt or harm you. I kept my sidelife out of your business, just in case that made you uncomfortable, because I wouldn’t have known one way or another, from the way that you just agreed to whatever I gave you! So, the fact that you took us so seriously and made up in your head some type of future that I could have told you we’d never have seems like a lot to try to put on my shoulders, alone!”

Jasper stumbled backwards and caught himself, but he was now crying again, “I am telling you that you broke my heart and you’re telling me how it was my fault.”

“I’m explaining to you why I didn’t realize that you felt the way that you felt!”

“And now that you realize, what do you plan to do about it?”

“I’m gonna set you free, Dude. I can’t do what you need me to do. I can’t be who you need me to be. I can’t be the good person that you want me to pretend to be, because I use too much energy being the good person that being a superhero needs me to be. I love you too much to keep doing this to you, now that I know how you feel.”

“Couldn’t you just… stop? Am I not enough that you can’t just love and be in love with me?”

“I could. I would… But, I feel like I’ve already crossed too many lines for you to be able to believe it from me, at this point. You’d never trust me again, no matter what I did, and I’d see it and I’d act on it. I’m… not ready to fight for love. I have to fight for so many things… Myself just doesn’t seem like enough to me.”

“And I’m not enough either?”

“More than enough, Jasp. You’re so much better than what I’ve given you and what I ever will. So… I’m gonna go, and hopefully you’ll be able to forgive me enough to at least let me try to be your friend again someday. Hopefully, I haven’t broken you in the same way that I broke her.”

“No, you’ve broken me harder, because I’ve been in love with you since we were kids and you just…” He shook his head, “Go ahead. You can leave, now. I won’t beg you anymore. I won’t ask anything else of you.”

“The next thing I heard from, well about him was that he had called him mom and asked her if he needed to come back home, would he be able to. He told her that we broke up and he wasn’t sure if he could make it. He said later on that he was talking about the rent, and that makes sense, but when he said that he didn’t know if he could make it, she went over there to check on him and he’d taken a bunch of pills, drank all of the alcohol that we had in the place and collapsed. He says he didn’t do it on purpose, but Char… I’d never seen him so upset, and I knew that I did that, AGAIN, to somebody that I was supposed to love. I wanted to hurt myself, at that point. I was alone and it was my fault and I decided that I would never in my life let anybody get that close to me again. “I don;t want a relationship,” became the first words that I said to any interested parties. I picked my specialty and worked on my degree and enjoyed myself as much as I could, grateful that whenever I reached out to Jasper, he cautiously began speaking to me again, and not surprised that I couldn’t contact you, at all. Neither could he, at that point.”

“Yeah, I cut him off when he told me that you two were together. He said it apologetically, but I was still bothered. We hadn’t been apart long enough, to me. But… so… do you think that Jasper really would have tried to hurt himself?”

“I hope not. I wanna believe that he wouldn’t, but I don’t know. It was a really bad night for him.”

“Couldn’t wait until after the anniversary or not waste his time before?”

“I didn’t even realize that it had been the anniversary, or even consider it to be an anniversary.”

“When did you finally take accountability? Because, it just sounds like you apologized and Jasper forgave you, like he always does. But, did you ever actually say, “These are all the ways that I fucked up and I notice this and I hate this. I know that I can’t take it back, but I will never do anything like this again, to any human being, ever?”

“I unpack this in therapy.”

“You’re… You’re in therapy?”

“Don’t you think I need it?”

“Definitely, I just didn’t know that you were in it.”

“That little results, huh?”

“You’re definitely different than the dude that I punched in the face. I just hadn’t figured out if it were an act or not, until now.” He looked hopeful, like he was waiting on something. She rolled her eyes and shrugged her shoulders, “I guess, I believe that you’ve changed. I mean, I don’t know that I’ll ever consider you a friend again, but I can acknowledge that you seem to be a better person now.”

“That’s great! Can I hug you?” He asked. She hestitated and he said, “Sorry, that’s stupid.”

“No, it’s just that I’m still pretty sore.”

“Oh. I can be gentle with you?” She tentatively held her arms open and he eagerly, but slowly and gently took her into a hug and sat there for a while. It had been so long, but scents and sensations that he thought had died with time immediately were revived and he could recall so many moments of touching her before. “I’ve missed you every single day that we’ve been apart,” he whispered.

She pulled away and stood up. “I’d better go get ready for the day, for Jasper…”

He nodded, “I’ll start cooking.” She hurried away, flustered by his words and the close proximity of him, but not wanting to admit that. He knew it, though. There was no way that type of electricity had been one sided. He unlocked a drawer on his nightstand and opened it to look at a box that matched the room, and had her name scripted across the top and dressed with flowers. He opened it and looked at a stack of letters that he had written her… He had promised himself that if he ever got a chance to see her again, he’d give this to her… but… She was with Jasper. If she was with anyone else… And… he didn’t even know how he felt about Jasper. Well, he DID know. But, this must be his atonement, having to see the two of them together and happy in love, knowing that both of them had some feeling for him, whether or not they’d admit it, and experiencing everyone ignoring those, because the moral to the story was not to hurt people the way that he had, because the hurt would come back, tenfold. He slammed the box and the drawer and locked it back, right as he heard the doorbell. Henry got up and shuffled to the door, but Charlotte was there, already, peeking through the peep hole, with her little boy shorts peeking out of the bottom of Jasper’s shirt. She said, “It’s him,” and opened the door.

Jasper came in, picked her up into a hug and kissed her. She laughed and squeezed him. Henry tried not to point out that they had seen each other YESTERDAY, because, they had. But, also, he knew that Jasper was feeling guilty when he last saw her and that she had just learned about an ugly part of his past that he obviously couldn’t talk to her about. So… he just smiled and said, “Hopefully, you’re hungry. I’m gonna cook.”

Jasper nodded, “Cool! Hopefully, I can still stay over? I brought clothes.”

“Yeah! Of course. I’ll love having both of you…. NOT HAVING! But… both of you sleeping over. Your room is untouched.”

“Your room?” Charlotte asked. “You got a room here? Which one is it?”

“The one that looks like a ship, but no… I was just gonna sleep in Charlotte’s room, if that’s okay?” He looked down at her, “You’ve got a room too. The one that you stayed in last night.”

She furrowed her eyebrows, “Like.. that room was MADE for me?” They nodded. “What? Why?”

“Just in case you ever came back,” Henry said and smiled, softly. “Make yourselves comfortable and I shall be of service.”

Jasper smiled fondly at Henry and Charlotte felt a ping of jealousy, but then a bigger ping of guilt. How could she be jealous, when she’d just melted against Henry’s muscles like heated chocolate fondue? She just silently prayed that the camera wasn’t focused on her face… either of those moments.

#Poly Wanna #Nesha HD Fics #henry danger #henry hart #charlotte page #jasper dunlop #hd ot3

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yuckubus · 7 years ago

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disclaimer: i love all my mutuals and respect their opinions, y’all will be missed if you decide to unfollow after i pour my judgmental heart out

1. the most well-rounded member of bts, is hoseok. yall can argue that it’s jk, but i said what i said

2. minghao with a mullet is godtier; out of all the male idols with mullets, he is The king.

3. speaking of seventeen, a lot of their songs are very edm-inspired but it works really well for them

4. woozi deserves recognition for the songs he produces, like i really hope he gets an award for his production skills bc he’s amazing

5. i feel like most wonwoo stans, stan him for his beauty and not his talent (which, he’s not a bad rapper)

6. that being said, i wish he (wonwoo) played around a little more bc his flow is kinda predictable. not only that, but he can do more than just rap lowly and get loud.

7. seokmin/ dokyeom > jungkook, in terms of vocal ability. he’s just better

8. imo, in terms of like younger groups i guess? leader wise, namjoon is the best leader. im not saying other group leaders like scoups, for example, are bad at their abilities to lead, but i think nj really is.

9. spring day, don’t leave me, the truth untold, best of me, and whatever else yall try to advocate as good songs...are not good. they dont do anything for me. sorry

10. also just one day is the superior rnb bts song.

11. house of cards didn’t deserve all the hype it got. like, its good but it hasnt done anything for me since i heard the full version.

12. while im not as into got7 as i used to be, ya’ll took all the stuff that happened with got7 and RAN lol like yall really went in on them and still do and it’s sorta.. annoying? like i get why people do not like certain members (i really do!!) but its tired now. it has been for a while

13. speaking of got7, if they did more stuff like just right (since it worked so well for them) and the flight log trilogy, ESPECIALLY turbulence, it would be effective

14. I dont know why people think lucas from nct is so dumb, he just has moments

15. speaking of lucas, i dont see any purpose for him in nct. he doesn’t provide anything special or new except some personality and physical beauty.

16. sm either needs to get rid of some members of nct, or really talk to these niggas bc he doesnt seem to care about anyone but mark, taeyong, jaehyun, and doyoung...and sorta lucas

17. jungwoo is a product of taemin. either that man is his father, or he’s a relative.

18. in terms of like newer and young rappers, mark lee is the only one with some potential; sometimes, he lacks, but he really is the only one

19. jaemin and jeno ended and revived kpop with their verses in Go!

20. chanyeol and sehun go off in some exo songs, especially forever. they’re still not great rappers.

21. exo has the better vocal line and bts has the better rap line. i just ended every pointless, unnecessary fanwar.

22. the exo l x army beef is so..stupid like all of y’all look childish. deadass. it’s never that deep unless both sides really said some serious shit and, most cases they dont so literally shut up lol

23. astro’s danceline are amazing

24. JEALOUSY BY MONSTA X? SLAPS. HARD

25. kihyun’s voice is absolutely beautiful and deserves that recognition bc he really has such a beautiful voice

26. Pentagon’s first album is THAT first mini album. if you havent invested time in it, please do

27. like the wonwoo thing, mingyu and wonho stans only stan these boys for physical attractiveness. I see something all the time (on twitter) anout wonho’s body and not really much about just him. this sounds fake deep, but forreal

28. stan twitter in general has great memes and stuff, but they are quite literally, the worst set of fans i have ever seen. facebook fans and instagram fans are just evil too but stan twt is satan.

29. in terms of talent level in twice...there’s 9 girls and only 4/9 really do something. i do love them though

30. tzuyu is great and shes so pretty but that’s it. the personality and everything else, where is it

31. imma be honest, i think chaeyoung is the prettiest

32. kyla isnt coming back to pristin, we all know this. it’s just time to face it

33. people only care about like 5 members of pristin, and theyre all in pristin v...there was a reason for their creation lol

34. miss shannon, aka sungyeon, of pristin? she’s got lungs and deserves to be seen as more than just her round face

35. MISS JOY is That member of red velvet

36. i dont think this is unpopular, but all the good rapper idols would be so much better if they just didnt sink into a niggaboo phase

37. ALL MEN WHO RUN ENTERTAINMENT COMPANIES (I.E. JYP, SM, YG, HITMAN BANG, AND WHOMEVER ELSE) ARE EVIL. IDC

38. i dont,...really care for jennie; she overdoes the cuteness sometimes

39. rose would be so much more powerful if she dropped the sza syndrome (I hope this isnt offensive, if it is please let me know)

40. if wendy wasn’t the leader and main vocalist of red velvet, her ass would have already been gone for that crap she pulled again

41. girl groups? are just as low down and dirty with their racism and antiblackness but that stuff gets hidden really well unless you look it up...or are mamamoo

42. IOI SHOULD HAVE LIVED LONGER THAN WANNABE. no one wants to hear that shit, ioi was giving us bops but after that year was up, they couldnt wait to get rid of them...but wannaone still exists. ok

43. all the my idols are gay legends stuff is kinda annoying now... like...you dont know their actual sexuality, so stop trying to justify your weird ass argument with proof from 1997, it’s not cute (this could be said about yoongi, but i mean in general)

44. people dont see holland as more than his sexuality, and what i mean by that is, a lot of people dont care about him or wont until he starts interacting with male idols, so people can start shipping them with him

45. kpop stans do women involved with male groups so fucking dirty, like ya’ll cannot wait to tear them down due to your insecurities as a fan. You’re not marrying any of them, so pipe the fuck down

46.nonblack stans, especially on twitter, dont really care about black issues lol yall do that fake oh my god im so sorry :( then use some form of aave with ?????????? and then move on.

47. IF KPOP GROUPS WOULD JUST ACKNOWLEDGE AND PROPERLY APOLOGIZE ABOUT THEIR PAST ACTIONS, MAYBE WE CAN LEARN AND MOVE ON; BUT THEM AND THEIR COMPANIES REFUSE TO. it’s like trying to feed a baby who doesn’t wanna be fed

48. people are allowed to still be upset about an idol’s past actions. it is valid ESPECIALLY if you are a fan of color. You are also allowed to unstan and not explain yourself bc no one’s gonna beat your ass for it.

49. these idols and their companies dont really care about their fans as much as they want y’all to believe. i believe they care to a degree, but it’s exaggerated

50. none of yall are family; you can say it a million and six times, but you really only believe that if you are not a person of color.

51. ya’ll do not know these idols like you think you do; they choose what they want you to show, even in their “RAW” shows; they are not going to let you see them in their 100% real self, ya’ll are strangers to them

52. being on kpop social media is exhausting, and idk how any of yall are able to do it 24/7. kpop is not that interesting enough for me to be around all day and all night.

53. Idol groups that play instruments deserve the world

54. that being said, i hope that n.flying, day6, and the rose get recognition because they’re out here being multi-talented, funny, and good looking.

i have more opinions but these are ones i could think of. anyway, hope yall enjoyed my ranting.

#if i find this anywhere near twitter im fighting #mine #kpop

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innocent-thot-blog · 7 years ago

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How were chosen the Names for Super Mario

When I discovered that out I did 2 things. For starters, I whipped out the copy of mine (yes, I ensure that it stays which real/nerdy which I continue to have a well used NES hooked up in my room) and made positive I will be able to match the game at will. (I can. Childhood not wasted.)

Secondly, I initiated down a rabbit hole of looking at Mario internet sites as well as Articles and Wikis. In the procedure, I stumbled upon the etymologies of the labels of a number of the key players in the Mario universe. So, in honor of the video game which often changed the planet, right here they're, presented in handy 11 item describe form.

Mario.

When Mario debuted in the arcade game "Donkey Kong", he was simply known as Jumpman. (Which additionally is actually the generic name regarding that Michael Jordan dispersed leg Nike logo. 2 of the most legendary icons ever before each have generic versions of themselves called Jumpman. But simply at least one has today arrived at the effort of simply being very impressive that he shaved himself a Hitler mustache before filming a business and the balls were had by nobody to fix him.)

In 1980, as the Nintendo of America team brought in Jumpman to raise him straight into a franchise-leading star (Hayden Christensen style), somebody seen that he looked like their Seattle office building's landlord... a guy named Mario Segale.

Mario Segale didn't obtain a cent for being the namesake of one of the most famous video game persona perhaps, but he probably is not too concerned; in 1998 he sold the asphalt small business of his for around $60 million. (Or 600,000 increased lives.)

Luigi.

Luigi has one of the weakest name roots of all of the nintendo mario characters in the Mario universe (once again displaying precisely why, for life that is real, he would have a greater inferiority complicated compared to Frank Stallone, Abel or even that last Manning brother).

"Luigi" is simply the product of a group of Japanese males working to imagine an Italian brand to enhance "Mario." Why was the Italian name they went with? When they each moved from Japan to Seattle, the pizza area nearby to the Nintendo headquarters referred to as Mario & Luigi's. (It has since gone from business.)

Koopa.

Koopa is a transliterated variation of the Japanese rap for the opponent turtles, "Kuppa." Stick with me right here -- kuppa is the Japanese word for a Korean dish known as gukbap. Basically it's a cup of soup with grain. From what I surely explain to it is absolutely not related to turtles, particularly malicious ones.

In an interview, Mario's author, Shigeru Miyamoto, stated he was deciding between 3 names that are distinct due to the racing of evil turtles, each one of which were called after Korean foods. (The other 2 were yukhoe and bibimbap.) Which means one of 2 things: (one) Miyamoto loves Korean foods and was looking to provide it with a tribute or (two) Miyamoto thinks Koreans are evil and should be jumped on.

Wario.

I sort of overlooked the debut of Wario -- he debuted in 1992, right around when I was hitting the age just where I was way too awesome for cartoon y Nintendo games. (Me and the middle school buddies of mine were into Genesis only. I was back again on Nintendo within 4 years.)

Seems the title of his operates both in english and Japanese; I kinda assumed the English manner but did not know about the Japanese element. In English, he is an evil, bizarro community mirror image of Mario. The "M" turns to turn into a "W" and Wario is created. The name also operates in Japanese, where it's a combination of Mario and "warui," that means "bad."

That's a pretty good scenario, since, as I covered thoroughly in the list eleven Worst Japanese-To-English Translations In Nintendo History, don't assume all language distinction finesses back as well as forth very smoothly.

Waluigi.

When I initially seen "Waluigi" I assumed it was hilarious. While Wario was obviously a natural counterbalance to Mario, Waluigi felt extremely comically shoehorned (just tacking the "wa" prefix before Luigi) -- like a huge inside joke that somehow cleared every single bureaucratic phase and cracked the mainstream.

Well... based on the Nintendo folks, Waluigi isn't just a gloriously idle choice or perhaps an inside joke gone huge. They *say* it is based upon the Japanese word ijiwaru, which means "bad guy."

I do not know. I think that we would have to meet them much more than halfway to invest in that.

Toad.

Toad is designed to look like a mushroom (or maybe toadstool) because of the massive mushroom hat of his. It's a good thing the gaming systems debuted before the entire generation understood how you can earn penis jokes.

Anyway, in Japan, he's named Kinopio, which is a blend of the term for mushroom ("kinoko") as well as the Japanese variant of Pinocchio ("pinokio"). Those blend to be something along the collections of "A Real Mushroom Boy."

Goomba.

In Japanese, these men are referred to as kuribo, that results in "chestnut people." That seems sensible because, ya know, if another person asked you "what do chestnut folks appear to be like?" you'd most likely arrive at something nearly like the heroes.

When they had been imported for the American model, the staff tangled with the Italian initiative of theirs and also known as them Goombas... based off the Italian "goombah," that colloquially means something as "my fellow Italian friend." Furthermore, it type of evokes the picture of low-level mafia hooligans without too a lot of competencies -- such as individuals younger brothers and also cousins who they had to retain the services of or perhaps mom would yell at them. That also is true for the Mario Bros. goombas.

Birdo.

Birdo has nothing at all to do with this original Japanese name. Generally there, he's called Kyasarin, which translates to "Catherine."

In the training manual for Super Mario Bros. two, where Birdo debuted, the character explanation of his reads: "Birdo considers he's a girl and would like to be called Birdetta."

What I believe this all means? Nintendo shockingly decided to develop a character that struggles with his gender identity and then called him Catherine. When it was a bit of time to show up to America, they have cold feet so they decided at the last minute to phone him Birdo, even though he's a dinosaur. (And don't provide me the "birds are descended from dinosaurs" pop paleontology series. Not buying that connection.) In that way, we would only understand about his gender misunderstandings in case we have a look at mechanical, and the Japanese were convinced Americans were either way too idle or perhaps illiterate to do it en masse.

Princess Toadstool/Peach.

When everyone got released to the Princess, she was recognized as Princess Toadstool. I guess this made sense -- Mario was put in the Mushroom Kingdom, so why would not its monarch be called Princess Toadstool. Them inbreeding blue bloods are always naming their children after the country.

No person appears to be sure the reason they went the direction, however. In Japan, she was known as Princess Peach from day one. The term didn't debut here until 1993, when Yoshi's Safari became available for Super Nintendo. (By the way -- have you played Yoshi's Safari? In an unconventional twist it's a first-person shooter, the only person in the entire Mario history. It's like something like a country music superstar putting out a weird rock album.)

Bowser.

In Japan, there's certainly no Bowser. He is simply referred to as the King Koopa (or maybe similar variations, including Great Demon King Koopa). So where did Bowser come from?

During the import approach, there was a problem that the American crowd would not understand how the little turtles and big bad man might certainly be known as Koopa. Thus a marketing team developed a large number of choices for a title, they liked Bowser the very best, and slapped it on him.

In Japan, he's nonetheless rarely known as Bowser. Over here, the title of his has become so ubiquitous that he is even supplanted Sha Na Na's Bowzer as America's most famous Bowser.

Donkey Kong.

This's a far more literal interpretation than you think. "Kong" is based off King Kong. "Donkey" is a family friendly means of calling him an ass. That's right: The label of his is an useful variation of "Ass Ape."

#mario bros characters

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askpetethelibrarian · 5 years ago

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Why Don’t Men Read Romance

This article is a lot better than the title would indicate, speaking also about why women don’t read WWII books and the like. As a “men” of sorts, I feel uniquely qualified to talk about why I don’t read romances. Keep in mind, I’m going to tell you why I, an individual, don’t get down with romances, not why men, as a whole, avoid them. But if you want to take what I say and assume there are kernels of truth in there in regards to a large segment of the male population...I’d say you’re probably right to consider it.

By the way, blanket statement: This is my opinion, but I don’t necessarily recommend others live this way, and it’s not my opinion that romance is inferior or bad or whatever. I read books with titles like “Tumor Fruit,” so I’m the the transparent-est of glass houses. Just know that this is my opinion of the little bits of romance I’ve experienced, not a demand that anyone else change their reading habits.

1. They’re Boring

I find most romantic subplots in movies very boring. Creed? Terrible. Nobody should fall in love with their loud-ass neighbor. That person is rude and inconsiderate. Avengers? Why are Hulk and Black Widow in love all of a sudden? When did that happen? And is there not enough stuff going on that we really need that?

Usually, to me, the romance part of a movie is the most boring part, the piece I could do without, and I tend to like movies that have little to no romance. I just re-watched Beetlejuice for the 1000th time, and there’s very little romance. Army of Darkness? Not much romance.

I also find sex scenes boring. What can I say? The 80′s are over, and I think the most common nudity in movies these days is male butts. I find male butts boring, I find it mostly awkward to watch people on a screen have pretend sex. Sue me.

And I’m not really a fan of “how we met” stories, either. In real life, when I know the people. Once in awhile you get a good one, but most of them are same-y. I know they’re very exciting for the people who lived them, but for me, meh.

Being boring is no great sin, it’s just something that keeps me away from romance. I’ve been bored by the majority of romantic plots and subplots I’ve experienced, so taking a deeper dive seems antithetical.

2. Predictability

I hope I’m not saying something hurtful to people who like romances when I say they’re predictable. I mean, they’re sort of meant to be, right? The Happily Ever After and all.

I don’t really like reading a book or watching a movie and trying to predict what happens. I think it’s a weird way to experience something, honestly, because...it’s a fictional story being presented to you. OF COURSE you can make predictions. Because you’re not really predicting what happens, you’re predicting how someone would tell a story of this type. You’re predicting fiction writing. It’s not a huge achievement.

I know I’m wrong about this, but this is how I experience stuff. Most people love uncovering a mystery, and as far as I’m concerned, go for it.

That said, I find it hard not to read and predict with romance. I think you’re meant to think ahead of what you’re reading, wonder how the story goes from Point A to Point Happily Ever After. I feel similarly about mysteries, too. Predicting plot isn’t interesting to me, so plot contortions aren’t all that thrilling for me.

The things I like either tend to have very unusual, unpredictable plots, or tend to be less centered on plot, more on characters, writing style, and so on.

3. There’s Just Other Stuff I’d Prefer

I don’t know who these people are that don’t have a thousand books that they would really like to read. I have such a long list of books that I’d LOVE to read, and romance isn’t on that list. I suppose it could be, given the right options, but I’m just not looking to add a genre, honestly. If my reading habits were a marriage, I’d say that we’ve been pretty steady for a good decade now, I’m very happy, and I’m not really looking for anything else.

Point being, it’s not like I’m avoiding romance and reading nothing. I’m reading other things I’d prefer.

When I finished library school, one of the things I was most excited about was reading whatever the hell I wanted without a sense of obligation. This hasn’t always worked out, but I try to read things I like anymore, avoiding things that I feel like I “should” read.

Some might feel this makes me an inferior librarian, that I’m not able to make recommendations outside my taste, but I haven’t found that to be true. In 15 years, I don’t think I ever recommended books to anyone who I would say had remotely parallel tastes to my own (Tumor Fruit, remember?). Additionally, I think a better method, rather than trying to read everything out there, is to find go-to people you can rely on. Even if I read a couple romances a year, I’d never compare to my co-worker, who read these things by the dozens, spoke the lingo, and knew what was happening in the romance world.

What I’m doing is giving myself permission to read stuff I like, which is what I’m always trying to instill in other readers anyway.

Not a popular librarian opinion, but hey, I wasn’t blessed with a high tolerance for books I dislike, and I would be happy to test my skills against other random librarians in a random genre recommendation contest. I don’t think I’d be the champ, but I think I’d be comfortably in the middle.

4. That Stuff is For Girls

While I’m on unpopular opinions...

While I understand that gender lines are being blurred, moved, and erased, you have to understand, I didn’t grow up that way. I’m a guy. I wouldn’t call myself manly, but I tend to like more traditionally masculine things.

Hey, I have no problem with other people being wherever they find themselves on the gender spectrum, I’m happy to hang out and have a beer with whoever, and I certainly support efforts to make things like books more gender neutral in terms of their covers, marketing, and so on. If I had a dudebro friend who liked romances, I would probably be curious, but whatever!

But I’d be lying if I said romance doesn’t seem designed with a female audience in mind.

Yes, I’m aware that romance is often at the forefront of developing new authors, storylines with non-traditional romances of all stripes, and basically mixing it up and experimenting with narratives.

That said, most of the writers are women. Even of man/man romances. Most of the readers are women (between 85 and 90% it appears). So, most times, even a romance intended for a male reader (or, to move away from a binary, intended for anyone other than a traditional female reader), is very likely coming from a female writer working within a very female-influenced tradition. I don’t have a problem with women writing men, even straight women writing gay men. I just highly suspect these narratives aren’t created to please me and people like me.

We shouldn’t be surprised that men aren’t reading a ton of these. They’re not really intended for us. It’s the same way I feel about, I dunno, Frozen. That’s obviously not intended for me, so I don’t have much interest in it, and that’s fine. Would it expand my horizons to watch Frozen and sing along? Maybe. But most likely, I just wouldn’t enjoy it. Because that’s not the goal its creators had in mind.

5. Rejection or Passivity?

And keep in mind, this isn’t me refusing to watch Frozen. This is me, in a 2019 world of infinite streaming possibilities, choosing other things without Frozen even entering into the equation. As an adult man with no kids, I’m not really presented with the choice to watch Frozen or not. Likewise, I’m not really presented with the choice of a romance novel that I’m turning down.

This really is a key concept. There’s a world of difference between, say, refusing to take my son to watch Frozen because “it’s for girls” and me not going out of my way to watch Frozen because it’s for girls. Turning down a romance novel as opposed to just never picking one up.

I’d have to reach out to romance as opposed to romance reaching out to me, and that’s probably not going to happen. There are plenty of forms of entertainment designed with me in mind, and I’ll probably enjoy the (Tumor) Fruits of those labors. Because I have a higher chance of enjoying what I read.

It’s always a numbers game with books, always a gamble. I’ll invest X time in hopes of getting either Y enjoyment or Y+B enjoyment plus information. Or B-Y, information minus enjoyment. There’s a lot of equations at play here. It turns out this is a bad metaphor because it makes things more complicated instead of less.

Anyway, if a book isn’t designed to please me, it’s a lot less likely that it will. So, when I’m betting on a good return on my time investment, the likely winner is something that’s geared towards me. There, that was a lot simpler.

There ya go. That’s why I don’t read romance. Argue with me if you’d like, but you’re really arguing a matter of taste. Romance novels are not to my taste, and that’s why I don’t read them.

Whether you think what I’ve said applies to men in general, I’ll leave that to you.

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thehalfworld · 7 years ago

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Fanfic MST: Forbiden Fruit: The Tempation of Edward Cullen, a Twilight fanfic [part 2]

So it turns out I’m a dirty liar who can’t get his act together in a timely fashion. But at least I’m here now! And, boy, is this a chapter!

Just as a heads-up, things get a little sexual in this chapter, and consent isn’t established beforehand, so it does read as a bit iffy.

Recap: Sixteen-year-old Atlantiana Rebekah Loren, referred to by the nickname “Tiaa” with two As for some reason, has just started school in Forks. She’s living with new foster parents who we haven’t met yet. Also she is ethereal and smells like mint and cinnamon. The chapter ended with her bumping into Edward on the way to class.

Chapter 1

AN - VINCENT or watever ur name is thanx 4 the LAME reviw. u totall D*** no one is MAKIN u reed this fic if you dont like it then leave.

I actually really like this fic, so I shan’t be leaving. Also, Vincent’s review was actually fairly positive; he said it’s awful and he’d like to see more of it, please.

Clestal zodiac and brittany j - thanx for the advice on my character but shes not a marysue, she's not "perfect" look she has anger problems and she looks the way she does 4 a reason i will explain it as the story goes on.

Both of these reviewers called Tiaa a Mary Sue and one linked her to a Mary Sue litmus test.

I probably don’t need to say it, but Mary Sues don’t need to be perfect, just presented unrealistically. Sure, stereotypical examples are all gorgeous, multitalented teenage girls who steal the spotlight from the canon cast (Tiaa’s basically that stereotype, possibly minus the multitalented bit since that’s not been established yet), but there are loads of Mary Sue characters who don’t fit that mold exactly, or at all. I talked about the “anger problems” thing last time, and even if her looks are justified (spoilers: they aren’t, really) they’re still being dwelled on way too much. We don’t know much of anything about Forks, Tiaa’s peers, or even Edward, but we know Tiaa smells like mint and cinnamon. It’s a classic case of an author being so invested in a character that her priorities as a writer are completely off. Or it would be if this wasn’t a trollfic.

Chapter 2 - edward

The anger faded form my sapphire eyes

"whatevah" i said sweatily "I didnt mean to yell and to be ride”

My initial thought was that the author meant “sweetly” instead of “sweatily,” but I actually think “sweatily” works better because Tiaa’s probably perspiring over how hot the pale guy is. Also, come to think of it, you can totally say something sweatily and I think it’s an adverb we should all be using more often.

"thou are too beuatiful for that" he said, and for once I didnt feel like cockdropping the guy for paying me a compilement, instead I just smiled.

You see what I mean about how incredible this fic’s prose is? We just went from mangled Ye Olde English to “cockdropping” in the course of a single sentence.

No idea what “cockdropping” means but it definitely ought to be a word. BeckyMac666 is the next Shakespeare or Carroll, honestly. Voice of a generation right here.

"I'm Ewdard Cullen" he mermered "who are thee?”

Get used to that typo; Edward gets called “Ewdard” a hell of a lot in this story. Think Enoby from “My Immortal.”

"Altatntiana Loren but you can call me Tiana or mabye Tiaa" i said feeling shy at the way he was looking at me.

That typo, on the other hand, only happens once to my recollection.

I had seen THAT look in so many male eyes but never quite as intense or sexy! His eyes burned like hot gold velvet in the midday sun like peonix feathers and rainbows, so gold and magical.

There’s a lot happening in that simile. Possibly too much.

"thou reminds me of bygone times" he said, carefully retching out a shaking hand and brushing my cheek "thy face is like an old painting, thou is exceptional""

And thou art poorly written, Ewdard.

Not sure how I feel about the mental image of Edward vomiting up a hand and brushing Tiaa’s cheek with it, but it probably did improve the sentence.

"your not so shanky yourself but i couldn't help noticing you have a fricking GF, you ass! I saw u with her in the cafeteria!"

Shanky?

Just for fun, and in case anyone reading this avoided exposure to Twilight itself, let me talk a little about Edward’s portrayal so far. First off, the Ye Olde English makes no sense — Edward was bitten after falling ill during the 1918 swine flu pandemic, if memory serves, so his speech would be modern (albeit antiquated) English even assuming he didn’t pick up any phrases from being around modern teens. Second off, Edward is really disinterested in… well, everyone but Bella, and with Bella he initially freaks out because he doesn’t know how to deal with being attracted to a human. (Do I date her? Do I suck her blood?) Even if I go with the notion that he’s also into Tiaa, we know this isn’t how he behaves around someone he likes. And he’s a mind-reader, so presumably he knows what Tiaa’s thinking and could shift his behavior accordingly — except that I have a bad feeling Tiaa, like Bella, is immune from having her mind read.

The flowery descriptions are straight outta Twilight, though.

I notched his hand hard with my long black nails.

Sounds painful.

"thee DID notice me then?" he purred with a sly grin.

I mean… it’s a small school, it’s not weird that she saw you. Someone so pale he looks like printer paper tends to stand out. Also she never claimed not to have noticed him.

I was up against the wall with his face right close to me now. He wanted to sex me I could tell, and suddenly he was kissing me!

The boy wastes no time, I see. Be nice if he asked first, but… in a fic like this, I don’t know what I was expecting.

Side note: yes, this is incredibly out of character. Edward is a save-it-for-marriage kind of guy, and he’s got practical reasons — the strength difference between a vampire and a human means it’s easy for somebody (the human) to get accidentally hurt.

I felt like my slim legs would break in half and my heart expanded like a big balloon.

Can’t say that I either understand or relate to that.

I fell his hand sliding softly down my neck an underneath my top.

By this point I think we’ve moved beyond “tempation.”

He stoked my breasts for a few minutes and his man-carrot standing in action and hard as a rock against my legs.

His… man-carrot. What a fic this is!

And then he ripped my top and pulled it of me and doped it on the floor.

I can’t really say anything to make this sillier except that I think all this is still happening in the locker room of a public high school. Also they just met.

We made out for 10 minutes and then he tried to take of my bra but I pushed him away suddenly thinking WTF Tiaa are you just gonna let this total stranger take your cloths off in school where anyone could see you?

It took her ten minutes to think of this? I mean… I’ll cut her some slack, they are (presumably) alone, she’s only sixteen, and she’s very attracted to this guy. But c’mon, how did it take her this long to think “wait a minute, maybe it’s bad to engage in foreplay at school with a guy I just met who is dating somebody else”?

I'd never let a guy kiss me before or touch me and suddenly I was letting this cheating sicko with a FRICKIN GF grope me just cause he was uber hawt with sexoy hair and cold as death!

Why is his coldness being treated as a selling point here?

I was acting like a biatch and a slut and I was suddenly very ashamed of my actions.

To be fair, she didn’t really do anything. He instigated, and she just… went along with it, I guess. I wouldn’t be that ashamed. He’s the one with the girlfriend.

-BASTARD! Never touch me again!" i gapsed

"If thou thinks thou can keep thou hands of me!" he answered all smug, and I couldn't believe how he made me feel so angry and so aroosed at the same time.

I too think it’s hot when random boys start undressing me in public and then act like it’s my fault somehow while speaking in bad Ye Olde English! So aroosing!

(I’m joking. Please no one do this to me. I will call my lawyer.)

At that moment I'd never HATED anyboy more in my whole life and the worst part of it was he was SO FREAKIN HAWT I was totally creaming my panties and he NEW it, this was horible!

Really didn’t need to know the panties bit.

I felt disguised with myself and turned to leave.

"Wait! I need to speck to thee! I no your secret tiaa"he said in a quiet voce gassing into my eyes "your one of my kind. who made thee ?are you part of a coven or on thou own?

So Edward thinks Tiaa��s a vampire? While that could potentially explain some things, it also raises a hell of a lot more questions.

Like… maybe Edward felt justified in coming on strong thinking Tiaa was a vampire and therefore on equal footing with him (as opposed to how he acts with Bella). Doesn’t really fit with his character, but I’ll go with it. But Tiaa doesn’t appear to be a vampire, and so this… complicates things. A lot.

Vampires, in the Twilight world and in most myth, don’t age, yet Tiaa claims to have had a normal (albeit bad) childhood and to be only sixteen chronologically. Maybe she’s an unreliable narrator, but, if so, why is she pretending to be human, and why pull a reveal this early in the story? It also doesn’t explain her lack of other vampiric traits; she hasn’t talked about craving blood or even smelling it, her eyes are blue (Twilight vamps have black eyes when hungry, red after feeding on humans, or gold after feeding on animals), and she has no superhuman ability that we know of.

I guess Edward really can’t read her mind, or he’d know she’s not a vampire, but why isn’t he bothered at not being able to get a read on her? And are we really supposed to believe Tiaa is just so extraordinarily beautiful that a vampire assumed she was also a vampire? Because… wow.

"what-is said sharply -dude your insane! And you freakin SMELL! (he didnt really smell but I didnt no what else to say!)

Wow, owned.

"thy a CAMPIRE tia!

Gay vampire who’s into drag and musical theater?

a VAMPIRE!

Which is it?

BUT WHY CAN'T I READ THOU MIND?

Oh, he actually is bothered by that. Got it. I thought the author had forgotten Edward can read minds. Sorry, BeckyMac666, I don’t give you enough credit.

I THOUGHT BELLA WAS THE ONLY ONE BUT HERE THOU ARE! WHAT DOES THIS ALL MEEEEAN!"

He punched the wall with his buckly fist and shouted suddenly furious and his eyes flickered red.

Isn’t Buckly Fist the guy who writes Ctrl+Alt+Del?

I schlepped him hard across the face and tried to leave but he caught my waste and as I struggled and tried to hit him again he caught my hand in mid air and hammed me against the wall where his hand had already made a huge dint in the wall.

Good fight scene. I like that she schlepped (made a reluctant or arduous journey) him across the face rather than slapped him across the face. And that he hammed (overacted) her against the wall rather than slammed her against the wall. And… all the other typos.

His face was blunt and right heavy in mine.

Dunno what this means but it sounds a bit British.

My knee came up hard against his massive throbbing gigglestick between his legs and he drubbed over in pan.

Massive throbbing gigglestick.

Wow.

Good fic.

I broke free and goaded my books and started rugging away to math, but edward hand finished with me.

There’s a lot going on here and none of it makes sense but it’s all rather evocative.

"TIAAAAAAAAAAA NOOOOOOOOO!"he screamed after me tearing his shrit of himself in fury and throwing it over my eyes.

Why did he throw his shirt over her face? Dude’s superhumanly fast! He could have just grabbed her if he wanted! Also, he thinks she’s a vampire, and a shirt definitely wouldn’t slow her down if she was one!

I lost my sight and was behind me breathing into my ears.

Interesting mental image.

"i'm sorry tiaa" he wimpered sadly picking me up off the floor and gazing mutely into my eyes "i didnt mean to rut thee!

“Rut” as a verb refers to a mating ritual that deer and some other mammals engage in. It’s not actual mating, or anything similar to what Tiaa and Ewdard just did; it’s when males fight each other for access to females. So far as I know, this is not a Ye Olde Worde for Sex or Rape or Throwing Your Shirt Over Someone’s Head.

I'm so contemptuos! I APOLOGIZE! THIS IS JUST SO WEIRD!"

I mean… yeah, he’s not wrong.

"YOUR so frickin weird you mean!" I snaped whitely as he lay on the floor so hawt and crying with his shirt off with his pippling body.

Hoping that “snaped” is a “My Immortal” reference.

I wanted to forgive him for calling me a vampire(VAMPIRE! I'd heard that one before from preppy losers asking if I sleep in a coffin and suck blood like LETSAT just cause I like eyeliner and listen to Linken Park)and making fun of me and trying to force me against the wall and maybe plunder my crevises but i didnt.

I actually like the detail here. A goth girl assuming that she’s being called a vampire not in a literal sense but as a comment on her fashion is… kind of funny.

Not gonna comment on that innuendo because honestly I don’t think I can say anything to make it more absurd.

I left him crying on the floor and went to find my class. As I entered math class i suddenly droped my bocks again as a flashing pain burned in my left hand as my brithmark glinted gold for a second (NO JOKE!)then I fell over.

It’s a good thing you said “no joke.” I would have assumed you were joking otherwise. Y’know, the old “my scar is glowing gold!” gag.

The pain was suddenly gone and some weirdo blond freak called Eric was helping me up and staring at me like a pervo rapist. I kicked him in the sholder (kung fu babie!)as he gazed longingly after me.

I’d maybe be more inclined to side with Tiaa on this one if she hadn’t just went along with it when a strange boy made sexual advances towards her. This dude just helped her to her feet while looking at her weird. And, to be fair, she’s not wearing a shirt.

In his frickin dreams. I sat down at the back of the class unable to think about anythin but my weird enconter with edward cullen, wondering what it all could mean.

I think it means you’re in a badfic? Could be wrong.

AN what do u think PLEASE R n R?.BIG SHoutout 2 my friend abigail gud luk for 2moro!)did u see i put the man-carrot thing in!) LMAO! Also love 2 tiffi & rach(and zaccibaby of corse!) LOVE U GUYZ SO MUCH!X X X beckymac x x

If anyone knows what language this is PM me the translation.

Stay tuned for the next exciting installment! Will Edward give in to tempation? Oh, wait, he already did, never mind.

Next chapter

#forbidenfruit.mst #fandom:twilight #halfworld.mst

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