#wedding prep went a little different for these two

[thetangycheesemanwithaplan]

Chimney: Why can't you just be a person?

Buck: I ran 3 miles this weekend. It's not like I ran a half marathon

Chimney: You know what I did this weekend?

Chimney: I ate a burger. And then I had a rum bucket

Buck: Rum bucket?

Chimney: It's exactly what it sounds like. A bucket of rum

[melanated-writersblock]

Friends to lovers because THE STREETS NEED DAT!!!!😫 (me. I need dat. Expeditiously.) All Fluff! Blk Fem!Reader🫶🏾

Neighbor!Mingi who moved in next door to you over a year ago, and your first impression of him being him knocking on your door to introduce himself, SURE, but also to shazam the song you had playing on your TV.

Neighbor!Mingi who you got close to quick cause he’s just a cool guy. Weird? sure. A loser? Oh, absolutely. And you know what? Hell yeah.

Neighbor!Mingi who will enter your apartment through your fire escape window because “It makes life more exciting.” So whenever you host movie night you keep the window cracked so he doesn’t have to knock.

Neighbor!Mingi who will probably sleep through his alarms, so you wake him up so he’s not late for the subway to work (he misses it, you gotta drive him🥴).

Neighbor!Mingi who goes grocery shopping for HIS apartment but likes to cook in YOUR kitchen???? Then take the cooked food back to his apartment????? He shares and does the dishes, but damn?!?!??

Neighbor!Mingi who you force to watch all seasons of “Girlfriends”, “Living Single”, & “A Different World” with you, which wasn’t really forced cause he locks in on the drama quick. “The pizza guy is he-” “Wait! Wait! Dwayne is gonna crash Whitley’s wedding!”

Neighbor!Mingi who’ll rush over to kill a bug for you in an instant, BUT! He won’t leave unless you pay him in food or snacks. Every fucking time.

Neighbor!Mingi who keeps your company on wash day and will purposely take all day doing an intricate skincare routine out of solidarity.

Neighbor!Mingi who will hang out on your shared fire escape with burgers on Valentine’s Day because you both went on dates and they were terrible so now you have to debrief each other on your respective horror stories.

Neighbor!Mingi who buys two of everything so you can have one for your place as well.

Neighbor!Mingi who you invite to run errands with you because it got to a point where him just showing up at your window every now and again wasn’t enough.

Neighbor!Mingi who got drunk with you one night and got teary eyed hearing you sing your heart out to “Love and War” by Tamar Braxton.

Neighbor!Mingi who saw movers at your apartment and got sad that you were moving, so he wrote you a letter and left it on your fire escape window sill….

on a windy night….so it blew away…...🤦🏾‍♀️

Neighbor!Mingi who you actively watched attempt to pull off the sneaky letter delivery, and fail miserably in real time, but you couldn’t bring yourself to tell him that night so you just wait until you see him again.

Neighbor!Mingi who is relieved once you explain that the movers were at your place because you’re getting in a whole new living room set and needed to remove your old one…but embarrassed after you admit seeing the whole mail thing go down.

Neighbor!Mingi who thinks “Fuck it, if not now then when?” and confesses to you. And you smile and laugh because FINALLY. You thought YOU were gonna have to do a cryptic confession and that probably would’ve been worse or 3x more embarrassing.😭

Neighbor!Mingi who, now, doesn’t need a valid reason to just show up at your apartment. And neither do you!

Neighbor!Mingi who rubbed off on you BAD so now you enter his place through the fire escape window at 6am on Saturday mornings to finish sleeping in while hogging 75% of the blankets, and there’s nothing he can do about it💁🏾‍♀️.

Neighbor!Mingi who’ll try to repair or diy things around your place so you don’t have to pay to have it fixed (but he lowkey sucks so you end up having to get it fixed regardless, BUT he pays for it because girlfriend privileges🫶🏾✨)

Neighbor!Mingi that invites his and your friends over for game nights only to jokingly send them home when you’re both getting collectively smoked. Yes, he still preps food and snacks in your kitchen just to bring it next door.

Neighbor!Mingi who leaves little remnants of his at your place. An extra toothbrush here, a sweater and a pair of shoes there. Also has a silk pillowcase on the bed for you at his place.

Neighbor!Mingi who you kinda don’t want to be your neighbor anymore.

Neighbor!Mingi that you propose should become Roommate!Mingi once his lease is up at the end of the year, and he kisses you before you can even finish the suggestion.

Neighbor!Mingi that just so happens to be an amazing boyfriend and will be one hell of a roomie!❣️

⊹ ₊ ❤︎₊ ⊹ Hope you liked it! Lemme know your thoughts🫶🏾 ⊹ ₊ ❤︎₊ ⊹

⊹ ₊ ❤︎₊ ⊹.Masterlist.⊹ ₊ ❤︎₊ ⊹

⋆˙⟡♡₊˚⊹.Blacktiny Writers Hub.⊹˚₊♡⟡˙⋆

[baddestbittyontheblock]

ellie williams fic recs (2)

you are responsible for the content you consume‼️

✧*:·˚ hi everyone!! here is a list of all the fics that are my favs with tagged writers/authors ✧*:·˚

✧*:·˚ remember to like and reblog the works you enjoy in order to support each writer!! ✧*:·˚

✧*:·˚ however, make sure you read the information on each story themselves such as triggers & warnings ✧*:·˚

✧*:·˚ also, if you'd like me to remove your fic from this list, message me! ✧*:·˚

°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。

my absolute favs: 🌱

꒷꒦  affinity - part 1 by @whore-era ellie williams x fem!reader | angst, pining, best friends, unrequited love

-after being in love with your best friend for years, one drunken night changes everything.

꒷꒦  as sweet as the sound by @xo-cori ellie williams x fem!reader | smut (MDNI), fingersucking, ellie is a filthy bottom idc, they’re a lil high but who isn’t in this economy

-she’s undeniably talented, but your girlfriend is just a bit too self-critical of her work.

꒷꒦  "what would you do if i went to touch you now?" by @louswrld11 ellie williams x fem!reader | wlw relationship, moderndayau!, whiny ellie (dying), oral, fingering, ellie's a switch?? wow, face sitting (i literally screamed into my pillow), cuddling!!!, ellie begging??omg yes pls, reader being more of a dom, ellie being a bit of a brat. literally just lesbians i mean what more could you want.

-ellie hates it when you're not paying attention to her

꒷꒦  where it all begins by @ijtaimes ellie williams x reader | pinning , jealousy , awkward tension? , ellie being mean to a kid, ellie being awkward, banter (lots of it because i live laugh love banter!), mentions of c*m

-summer is back in full swing, which means you’re back to being a camp counselor for moody, grumpy and hormonal middle schoolers. this summer however, is different! camp harmony hills has been renovated and the group of kids this year seem slightly more pleasant. not to mention, you have not one but two girls crushing on you. whew! but…something still is different about this year…the rumors are back and things seem a little. odd.

꒷꒦  wedding blurb by @spaceshipellie top!ellie x femme!bottom!reader | tlou au, ellie and readers wedding, touching in public, bathroom sex, fingering + eating out (r receiving), MDNI

-“you wanna love me right now, you wanna get alone with me”

꒷꒦  ellie headcanons pt 4 by @inf3ct3dd loser!ellie x reader

-loves matching with you. keychains, shoes, outfits, literally anything. if you have dyed hair, she’d dye a piece of hers to match you.

꒷꒦  hot to go! by ^ ellie williams x reader

-you started prepping the coffee beans, pouring them into a large class container while you moved your head back and forth, music blasting through your headphones.

꒷꒦  ellie fic by @dinasfavslut ellie williams x fem!reader | 18+ mndi!, smoking, sexual thoughts, cussing, pet names, teasing, smut (oral, fingering, slight mention of strap, squirting)

-everyone is aware that ellie smokes; we have all seen it. of course, there are also the dealer ellie fics, picture ellie making the reader squirt for the first time while high!

꒷꒦  brothers bestfriend ellie; by @hhayden222 ellie williams x reader | {sfw}

꒷꒦  ellie drabble/blurb by @amourrs  ellie williams x fem!reader | smut 18+, ai audios

-one where you wear ellie’s flannel and neither of you actually end up leaving the house

꒷꒦  store owner! ellie by @dollyhao ellie williams x reader | smut, doggy, squirting, strap in use (r!recieving)

꒷꒦ sending nudes to a high ellie by ^ ellie williams x reader | high ellie, mutual masturbation, dirty talk

-“baby…” ellie says through the phone sounding desperate as ever. she missed her girl friend so bad. she went on a friends trip with jesse and dina. you couldn’t come because you had to work still.

꒷꒦ nothing's gonna hurt you baby... by @cottontears modern au established gf ellie williams x fem reader | slight angst, hurt reader, ellie comforts her, fluff ensues, shitty friends

-ellie comforts you and saves you from your shitty friends

꒷꒦ 𝐃𝐄𝐀𝐋𝐄𝐑 𝐄𝐋𝐋𝐈𝐄 𝐇𝐂𝐒 + 𝐟𝐞𝐦!reader. by @iactuallykissedsharawheeler ellie williams x reader | weed mention

꒷꒦ gf!ellie headcannons by @phantombriide ellie williams x reader | mdni, loser gf!ellie, annoying gf!ellie, mentions of head/sex, mentions of making out, ellie's a clown and you're sick of it but love it so much, swearing and fluff

-gf!ellie who you've been friends with since junior year of high school.

꒷꒦ sweet blurb by ^ ellie williams x fem!reader

-ellie who loves coming home from patrol to a messy house. usually it's the other way around because no one wants to come home from work to a mess to clean up, but it's not like that at all.

꒷꒦ smut blurb by @wrtinginblood  ellie williams x fem!reader | pregnancy mention, nsfw

-ellie fucking you when you’re, like, newly pregnant and she’s sooo feral and excited for you to get all swollen with her baby

꒷꒦ texts with gf!ellie pt.3!! by @bellaramslover ellie williams x reader | mentions of smoking/drinking, implied sex, a little arguing

-Part 1 here!, Part 2 here!

꒷꒦ ellie fic by @d3arapril ellie williams x reader | 18+ minors dni, smut(obviously), dom!ellie, language, ellie has a dirty mouth, an ass slap.

-“cover her mouth and make her listen to how wet she is” aka jackson!ellie putting in WORK.

꒷꒦ sub service top ellie blurb by @seattlesellie ellie williams x reader | smut

꒷꒦ groupchat with ellie, dina and jesse part 2 by @elsweetheart ellie williams x fem!reader

-trying to organise going out to eat, and jesse can’t seem to catch a break.

꒷꒦ being a menace to dealer!ellie in the night part two by ^ ellie williams x reader

-you tried everything to get to sleep. you’d counted sheep, you had tried counting back from one thousand, you’d sat up and read a book— nothing was working.

꒷꒦ texts with ellie by @ellieslaces ellie williams x reader | fem!reader, suggestive conversations, harsh language, mentions of dark humor, use of pet names (babe, baby, sweet girl, etc), mentions of college!dealer!ellie

-a collection of messages between ellie and the reader! made by me. essentially this is my idea of what some daily conversations would be like with ellie if she were your girlfriend <3

꒷꒦ types of kisses with ellie by @elliesprettygirl ellie williams x reader | pure fluff

-how ellie would kiss you

꒷꒦ ellie playing the sims headcanons by ^ ellie x gf!reader | loser!ellie if you squint

-ellie being adorable

꒷꒦ ellie with a breeding kink by ^ ellie williams x reader

-"slow and steady"

꒷꒦ ellie williams and her clingy-ness by @lillysbigwilly ellie williams x reader

꒷꒦ my sweet girl by @evera-era ellie williams x afab!reader | friends to lovers, virgin reader, ellie has a praise + innocence kink, fingering, oral r!receiving, facesitting, fondling, lots of kissing, you talk her through it, fluff !!!!

꒷꒦ ellie blurb by ^ ellie williams x reader

-reader has a dream where ellie liked someone else or something (you know how a lot of couples go through this😭) and gets mad at her and Ellie is like “it was just a dream babe” and it’s all fluffy and cute

꒷꒦ f**k you by ^ ellie williams x afab!reader | hate sex, ellie’s rude as shit in the first half, alcohol use, some name-calling, aggressive kissing, fingering, scissoring, brat taming, spanking, edging/overstim

-ellie couldn’t stand you. she found you so incredibly annoying, and yet you shared the same friends. which was the biggest problem, ever.

꒷꒦ adventure time blurb by @savannahsdeath ellie williams x reader

-ellie and reader lying down on the bed while they’re watching adventure time, and all the time that princess bubblegum and marceline shows off, ellie is like “omg look at us!!”

꒷꒦ lover girl!ellie headcanons by @itsbecomeblue ellie williams x reader | nsfw with warning near the end, swearing, basically fluff, ellie and reader play soccer, puppy love, slightly loser!ellie, not explicit if reader is fem or masc

-highschool romance with ellie

꒷꒦ there's two ways to squirt by @bambiesfics ellie williams x reader | water-sports, extreme overstimulation, graphic depictions of lesbian smut, r!receiving finger bang, sarcastic Ellie, fluff + loving at the end.

-reader has a full bladder and is trapped in ellie william’s hatchback.

꒷꒦ once again, for the first time (1/3) 🌱 by @lovelettersfromluna ellie williams x reader | ANGST!!!, ellie is an oblivious idiot, quiet!reader, momentary alternative love interest, jealous!ellie, possessive!ellie

-being in love with your best friend has got to be one of the most emotionally exhausting things someone can experience, so it’s time you put your foot down and moved on….at least, try to move on

꒷꒦ silver springs (2/3) 🌱 by ^ ellie williams x reader | SMUT!!! 18+, mdni, alcohol and marijuana usage, jealous!ellie, slight asshole!ellie, cheating, oral r!receiving, edging, fingering r!receiving, pet names, kissing

-a step by step guide on how not to get over ellie fucking williams

꒷꒦ linger (3/3) 🌱 by ^ ellie williams x reader | smut!! mdni!! 18+, ellie and reader are both very sad and very stubborn, angst, hurt/comfort, alcohol usage, mention of marijuana, making out, pet names, oral (ellie receiving), tribbing

-back home for the holidays after hooking up with your best friend, who you also happen to be madly in love with...what could possibly go wrong.

꒷꒦ blossom (1/2) 🌱 by ^ ellie williams x reader | 18+!! smut!! angst!! (is it a fic of mine if there isn’t angst at this point), small town!ellie, it’s summer time ofc hehe, fingering (r!receiving), nipple play (r!receiving), petnames, ellie hurt reader in the past but is extremely desperate for her now, lots of kissing

-ellie broke up with you in high school right before she left for college. At the time, it left you devastated….five years later, she’s back. And she’s back for you.

꒷꒦ 20 something (2/2) 🌱 by ^ ellie williams x reader | angst!! ellie is an idiot in this one, joel being a dad figure to reader, alcohol usage, reader gets a lil drunk, jealous!reader

-how you ain’t say you was movin’ forward? Honesty hurts when you’re gettin’ older, I gotta say I’ll miss the way you need me.

꒷꒦ the perfect girl (1/2) 🌱 by ^ ellie williams x reader | 18+!!, ANGST, eventual smut just not in this chapter, mentions of sex, mutual pining, ellie is sort of a dick but she isn’t necessarily mean (don’t worry you’ll see), lead singer!reader, use of alcohol and marijuana, rock star life style so lots of partying, reader is a badass

-the amount of tension between you and your guitarist is fucking ridiculous.

꒷꒦ sweet little lies (2/2) 🌱 by ^ ellie williams x reader | 18+!!! Eventual smut, ellie is selfish point blank period, reader is extremely sad, some making out but doesn't lead to much, ANGST!!!!

-being on tour with someone you’ve been ignoring for two months is hard…but doable

[esther-dot]

MODERN AUs

tis the damn season 5k by @wildflower-daydreamer

Every year, Sansa comes back to her small hometown of Winterfell for Christmas. And each year, she and Jon fall into their old routine for her short stay. This year would be no different. Okay, maybe a little different. Inspired by the song 'tis the damn season by Taylor Swift. corresponding gif

Mistletoe Merriment 4k by @geekprincess26

Theon Greyjoy loves kissing pretty girls, so naturally he loves breaking out the mistletoe and spiked punch every year at the Starks' annual Christmas party. And every year, the girl he kissed the prior year shows up with an awesome new boyfriend - every girl except for Sansa Stark, who ends up with slimy, pathetic gits. Theon will have to go to ridiculous lengths, not to mention risk the legendary wrath of Jon Snow, in order to get Sansa the boyfriend she deserves. But he'll do it, because Theon Greyjoy is a loyal friend - and he'll never let a stupid sprig of mistletoe get the better of him.

When the Grinch Met the Redhead 1k by @yenstarkofrivia

the one where Sansa likes to sing Christmas songs at 3am and Jon is a miserable Grinch

merry and bright 27k by @cellsshapedlikestars

ex-child star Sansa Stark is in desperate need of money and takes a role in a Hallmark Christmas movie, filming in the mountain resort town of Wintertown, Vermont. There, Fire Chief Jon Snow is on set to oversee safety regulations. Sansa hates Christmas and she hates small towns, but a casual fling with a rugged local fireman might be just what she needs.

four 5k by @cellsshapedlikestars (I've reread this fic many times)

She had never put Jon and Christmas together, but now she thinks she'll never be able to separate them. or, four Christmases, three midnight excursions, two angry siblings, and one boy at the center of it all

Be My +1 47k by @vivilove-jonsa

Seven months after she attended a wedding with her brother's work colleague (and gave him a tipsy, unrequited kiss when he walked her to the door), Sansa Stark finds herself in the unenviable situation of desperately needing a date for her prep school reunion at a ski resort which will also be attended by her ex-boyfriend/boss's son, Harry Hardyng and her Former-BFF/Frenemy, Margaery Tyrell.

The Best Christmas Present (Is You) 3k @foreverreadingbeautifulbooks

Every year the Starks and honorary Starks spent the week of Christmas in the most northern of the lodges they owned. No guests were allowed to visit the lodge during that week and it was the one time a year where no one in their family was allowed to work. Everyone hung out, played in the snow, skied, baked, ate lots of food, and simply enjoyed being together. It was refreshing to spend so much time with her family since she felt like she’d barely seen them this last year. But, if Sansa was honest, after five days of hanging out with them nonstop, she’d been looking forward to spending a little bit of time by herself. Every year on Christmas Eve, while her mom and dad picked out the tree, Bran would play chess with their neighbor’s son, Lyanna - who was notorious for buying gifts at the last minute - went shopping, Arya and the rest of the boys would challenge each other to skiing contests, and Sansa would take that opportunity to have her own private holiday celebration indoors. She would warm up some hot chocolate, turn up her Christmas playlist, and snuggle down in some blankets to wrap all of her Christmas presents. But not this year. This year she was stuck with Jon Snow and his broken ankle.

the perfect gift for christmas for me would be 5k

“Be my boyfriend,” Sansa says. Jon's eyebrows raise, and she amends, “My fake boyfriend." or, Sansa, Jon, and fake dating for the winter holidays.

Christmas Carriage Ride 1.5k

Jon Snow has grown tired of his holiday job driving a horse-drawn carriage around the streets of Chicago. Then Sansa shows up, and Jon sees the city through new eyes

#LockedinLovers 8k by @amymel86

the one where Sansa and Jon are locked in a big ol' department store over Christmas because of a convenient snow storm

The Nightmare Before Christmas 3k by @ladysalvatore3

Sansa Stark was far from being perfect; she occasionally forgot to put the lid back on the toothpaste, she was constantly arriving late to places, she didn’t know how to change a tire or had any idea of what path her life was going to take, but there were three things that Sansa was absolutely sure about. She loved to write. Christmas was the best holiday ever. She hated Jon Snow.

'Tis the Damn Season 4k by @justhereforfandomandfriends

Four times Jon doesn’t ask Sansa to stay, and the one time he does. Sansa Stark was sneaking out of her childhood bedroom to sleep in Jon Snow's bed. If you'd told teenage Sansa, she'd have laughed in scorn (but she’d have flushed too). Twenty-nine year old Sansa was almost used to it. By now, it was practically a tradition, and there was nothing Sansa loved more than holiday traditions. corresponding moodboard

when the snow falls and the white wind blows 10k

Sansa Stark and Jon Snow had never been particularly close, but since her brother died and the two moved to the same city they have been spending more time together. Sansa tells herself Jon sees her as the little girl who lived in the house beside his. Jon tells himself Sansa sees him as nothing more than her brother's best friend. But when the two are snowed in on the way back home for Christmas, their thoughts change.

Shamelessly Un-christmas 3k by @jade-masquerade

After Jon denied her a kiss under the mistletoe last Christmas, Sansa tries to make amends.

A Tale of Two Christmases 2k by @jade-masquerade

A Christmas gift mix-up involving a special sweater brings Sansa and Jon together. corresponding fanart by @grrmartin

all i want for christmas is you...to tell everyone we're together 2k by @ben-barnes-is-my-husband

It's Christmas and all Jon wants is for he and Sansa to be public with their relationship.

Who's coming to you tonight? 1k by @kissed-by-circe

“So you want me, me and no one else, to dress up as Nikolaus and bring wee-“ his mind scrambles as he tries to remember the boy’s name, because Arya only uses pet names for him, and he doubts that her sister named her child Woolfling, Dr Snuggles, or Baby-Bear, “wee… Ar- Artos some candy, and tell him that he’s been naughty?” Arya forces Jon to play Nikolaus for her lil nephew, and somehow forgets to mention that singlemom!Sansa is really really hot

Lights 7k by @charmtion

Two years ago, Arya turned up on Jon and Sansa’s doorstep and left after a single, soul-aching conversation. Now they are gathered back together for a Stark family Christmas, where old wounds and new secrets threaten to collide.

Door to Door Delivery 2k by @hilarychuff

A drabble inspired by my While You Were Sleeping (1995). Jon walks Sansa home during a Chicago winter.

The Spirit of Christmas Gifset by @aureliacamargo

All I Want for Christmas Jonsa vid by @aerishe

FOLGERSCEST INSPIRED

(yes, that commercial prompted Jonsa content which makes me laugh so it gets a special shout-out!)

Perks of the Queen 5k by @intothecest

After years in his exile in the Night's Watch, Jon Snow finally answers a summons to Winterfell from his sister, Queen in the North, just in time for a festival. Gifts are exchanged, long-simmering feelings percolate up, and, oh yes, coffee has come to Westeros.

The Best Part of Waking Up 5k @jillypups

After a long stint up in Alaska doing manly things, Jon Snow comes back to the Stark family home where he spent nearly all of his childhood, where he called the Stark kids brother and sister. But things change after a few years go by.

Gifset by @cindy-clawford

OTHER

Light in the Darkest Days of the Year Little Women AU/historical AU 9k by @sibyldisobedience

Winterfell was a handsome old house of modest proportions, that had once seen better days. Its green shutters and gables had faded to a dull grey. Its stone walls could use a new coat of whitewash. And its family, the Starks, had once been counted amongst the most distinguished in Wintertown — a small, sleepy hamlet, just north of the bustling port city of White Harbour, where it was as likely to snow in the summer as not. But despite this dreary description, Winterfell was the happiest little home in the neighbourhood.  Even on the darkest, coldest days of winter, the little grey house radiated warmth and light from its frosted-over windows, like a beacon. 

Fairy Lights and Mistletoe 3k Hogwarts AU, by @maybetwice

Sansa has every intention of going to the Yule Ball with Jon, even though he isn't sure why.

Shine Your Light on Me 2k canon verse @thatgirlnevershutsup

Let's celebrate a Northern holiday with Sansa and Jon! Think about a Hallmark Christmas movie set in Westeros, and you're on the right track.

A Stark Solstice 1.5k canon verse @ritzintherabbithole

It’s only fitting, she thought, that fresh snow should blanket the land around Winterfell today of all days. It is pristine, virgin white snow, seemingly pure, but Sansa know knows the kind of monsters that hide in the cold and her time spent in King’s Landing cured her of any instinct to trust appearances.

A midwinter night's dream 2k canon verse

After the Long Night, Sansa fears winter more than ever. How will her new born daughter survive a winter that might last for years? But magic is gone from Westeros, and soon it becomes clear that every season only lasts for a few moons. Though winters are still brutal, there is always an end in sight. And every year on the darkest day of them all, the Starks in Winterfell have a feast.

Festive Jonsa Edit

Christmas Is Here Gifset and Merry Christmas Gifset by @tiny-little-bird

PRE CANON - WESTERN - FAIRYTALE - REGENCY - LITTLE WOMEN - SEASON SIX - ANNE OF GREEN GABLES - THE GIRL IN GREY - FREE CITIES - FAIRYTALE PART II - POLITICAL MARRIAGE - SALTY TEENS - POST CANON - RICKON LIVES - JON X ALAYNE

[f1-disaster-bi]

Something about tattoo au?

Here we go

"Are you sure about this?" Lance looked nervous as he stopped pacing and looked down at Lando. It was cute to see how nervous Lance was but Lando knew the other needed the reassurance as he offered Lance his hand to hold. The other squeezed it softly before Lando tugged their joint hands to his lips to press a kiss to his knuckles. "I'm sure about this, Lance. I wouldn't have suggested it otherwise", Lando reassured the other as settled back in the chair with a smile, "If you don't want to do it, Max will do it all. I know you're worried but I want this. We can't get married, but I want to carry part of you two with me forever" "We could just get you rings Schatje", Max spoke up from where he was sitting beside Xander near Lando's bare chest, watching as Xander prepped the skin and stencil over Lando's left pec, "We don't have to do tattoo's" "I know", Lando grinned as he looked between his two loves, "Both of you are carrying my ink on you, and I want to do the same. If it's too much, Xander can do them, but I would like it if you guys did it. You've had practice, and even if they turn out a little wonky, I don't care. I just care that they came from you" "Lando...", Lance blushed, words getting lost under the sincerity of Lando's words before he finally settled beside Lando with his hand in his. The tattoo they had chosen was a small and simple one. It wasn't either of their names, or their names squished together. It was a simply three little stick figures, each in a different color that Lando associated with the three of them. A darkish green for Lance, orange for himself, and black for Max because they couldn't find a dark shade of blue enough to remind him of Max. Lando knew he'd have to touch the colors up over time but he didn't mind that thought. It was actually a little romantic in his mind because he could have them do it again almost like a vow renewal for marriage. It would be there little thing and Lando loved it. He barely registered Xander talking Max through the process. His eyes closed at the drag of the needle in his skin because at this point, it was relaxing and it had been a while since Lando had gotten work done himself. Although he was debating getting something tattooed around the fading scar from his stabbing for a while now. It was a surprise though, when Lance actually let go of his hand with a smile and kiss to his forehead to let Xander talk him through doing the last of the little stick figures, and Lando felt himself get emotional when it was all done because he had proof now. Lando had proof in his boyfriends styles that this thing between them went deeper than just dating or fooling around. He had proof that after five years, they still wanted him and wanted him for eternity and he couldn't help but kiss them both once it was wrapped and whisper softly. "Happy wedding day, my loves" The laughter and kisses he got in response were perfection, and Lando couldn't imagine ever doing this with anyone else but them.

[jules-has-notes]

2015 VoicePlay summer & fall round-up

In between a two-month tour in the spring, and a two-month Disney World residency in the winter, VoicePlay had a variety of shorter adventures, video shoots, and some very important time at home with friends and family.

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Can't stop, won't stop

The day after they got home, they released the music video for "Stay With Me" that they'd recorded and edited while on the road. Then just two days later they hit the stage again for a single show. Once they'd gotten a few more days of rest, they gathered at Layne's studio to tape an interview for the Behind the Mic podcast.

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Ahoy, moms

Then it was time to hop on the Royal Caribbean Oasis, the first of multiple gigs with multiple cruise lines they'd booked over the coming months. They disembarked for a week at home, during which they spent Mother's Day morning performing for the Disney Social Media Moms Celebration. A few days later, they set out again on a Disney Magic cruise up the east coast to Nova Scotia, which gave them a day off in NYC while the ship was in port.

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Family time

After that gig was complete, they took a couple well-deserved weeks off. Most of the guys flew straight home, but Layne went back to New York to meet up with his longtime girlfriend and her daughters for some family time. While they were on a bike ride in Central Park, he staged a fall and proposed. Yay, love!

[NOTE: I linked to the video and family photo of Layne and Cyndi's engagement rather than embedding them, because the kids were young and deserve to not have images that show their faces pulled into public spaces their parental units can't control. But do feel free to click through, because both are very cute.]

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On the seas again

Once the guys were rested up, VoicePlay climbed aboard their third ship of the summer, the Celebrity Summit, for a jaunt to Bermuda. On the way out, they crossed paths with Kathy and her band, Soul Funktion, who were performing on a different cruise.

On the downside, being in the Caribbean meant that they missed out on National Doughnut Day, which is something they generally enjoy, being the snack conoisseurs that they are. On the upside, they returned home to some exciting milestones on their YouTube channel — lucky sevens followed by many zeros.

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Long-term planning

They had two more weeks at home to do prep for their next video shoot. And then they spent a long night at a local pizza parlor with several family members and friends to create a characterisitically silly three-part saga as a promo for their upcoming Patreon launch. During the next few weeks, they started editing those videos while also preparing to hit the road again.

Meanwhile, Eli did a solid for their friends in The Edge Effect and hopped on yet another cruise with them. That favor would turn out to be rather fortuitous. The other guy subbing with the group for that trip was a talented baritone/bass named Jessie, who Eli would remember the next year when an opportunity arose. (Ooh, foreshadowing. 😉)

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Oh, Hi! Oh.

In mid-July, VoicePlay headed north once more for a pair of shows in Ohio, first at the Fraze Pavilion in Dayton, then at the Lake Chautauqua Auditorium in Port Clinton.

Dayton show — photos by Leslie Tidd

Port Clinton show

(On the way home, Geoff matched pitch with the airport security equipment in true music nerd fashion.)

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Homebodies

Then they dispersed for a couple weeks to do individual things. Earl spent some time doing "a little puppet show with friends" at Disney World. Geoff and Kathy worked on some home renovations. Eli and Ashley spent some time with his family in Pennsylvania, then swung through D.C. and New York City on their way home. Layne relaxed at home with some TV bingeing in between wedding planning. And Tony did mysterious Tony things. (His socials are all private.)

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Ready for their close-ups

At the end of the month, they took another trip to Bermuda on the Celebrity Summit before spending most of August and early September working on new music videos for "Cheerleader", "Summer Hits 2015", and the long-awaited "Phantom of the Opera". Not to mention the ongoing Patreon preparations.

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Quick jaunts

As fall rolled in, VoicePlay rolled out once more. They opened the performance season at Texas A&M, popped down to Florida's gulf coast for a show in Treasure Island, flew up to Baltimore to attend the Performing Arts Exchange conference, and then scooted into D.C. to perform for a Red Cross event at the Smithsonian. In between trips, Earl and Layne sat down to share some wisdom about keeping fueled on the road.

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Stein nuptials

And then it was time for Layne and Cyndi's wedding! The gang was all there to celebrate, complete with extended family and friends.

(Fun fact: Tony made Cyndi's wedding dress. She was the very first PattyCake princess.)

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While she was in town for the wedding, Emoni Wilkins spent a day at Disney World with Earl and Nick.

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Back at it

Once Layne was back from his honeymoon, the guys got on a plane to San Diego and boarded the Disney Wonder for a cruise down to Puerto Vallarta. A week after they got home from sea, they headed inland to give a concert and student workshop at the University of Wyoming.

In mid-November, they finally announced their Patreon, and proceeded to meet their first two goals in less than a week. Clearly, they timed that well.

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Happy (early) holidays

While they were celebrating that victory, though, their other projects kept going. In particular, they had started their first of three annual residencies at Disney World for Mickey's Very Merry Christmas Party, which kept them pretty busy for most of the end of the year.

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They did make time for a few other things, including some full holiday concerts, several more video shoots, their regular theme park shows, and visits from friends. Earl and Nick continued their tradition of hosting visitors by helping Tim Foust and Adam Chance speedrun the parks before Home Free's holiday show in Orlando. Layne got an exciting birthday present when he found out he was going to be a dad. And Geoff fulfilled a childhood dream by subbing in with Rockapella for their New Year's Eve show in Vegas.

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Once the end of the year whirlwind was finished, they took a few days to finally rest before they hit the road again. But that's a tale for another post.

[emptymanuscript]

I feel like this one has so much room to play around in.

Like, are we talking, I go back knowing everything I know and it's just, do you wanna do it again? Or are we talking I rewind time and only remember enough of the future to know that in some alternate timeline I had my current opinions about my education? Or... some other variable, like if you went and did this degree instead I know my life would be different in these particular ways? And how often can one redo and compare? And how big can the change fallout be, etc? Oh! and how far back are we talking? Like are we just going back to first day of class registrations or are we going younger to prep for a different major and things like that?

I know a lot of the stuff that I am most pleased with in my life are emergent effects from decisions that include my BA. So I would be EXTREMELY hesitant to seriously change it. I even met @coatntails specifically because of mutual school connections. We were both friends with findingsherlock and minion who were in my major with me. I'm even fairly certain we would never have gotten together if findingsherlock hadn't made it her freaking mission to get us together, which we finally did ON THEIR WEDDING DAY. @coatntails was one of the bridesmaids and I was the officiant. And findingsherlock and minion gave up their fourth wedding anniversary to return the favor and officiate for us. Come to think of it... pretty much all the people from college that I still talk to regularly, I met through my major. So... you know... I don't really want to give that up.

But I could certainly enjoy tweaking it. Like, I would absolutely send a very emphatic message back in time to my college age self looking sadly at statistics requirements and demanding that I buy myself a copy of excel and take the damn "Statistical Methods in Psychological & Brain Sciences" course because I really do regret how close I came to getting a minor in Psychology and giving up. If I went back with everything I know, I would abuse the hell out of my priveleges and aim hard for a dual major in Psychology instead of just a BA in Creative Studies with a literature emphasis. Get the damn double major.

I would also damn well send myself a message to NEVER take a break from the SBWC, that is a HUGE regret for me. It nourishes my soul. And, you know, it might offer some huge advantages.

Where I would seriously consider changing is actually my Masters. My Masters Degree was good. But I'm not sure I couldn't have done better with less pain by taking another path. And the easiest way to do that would be a very stern message to my past self to really go all out on language learning.

If I could go far enough back and really communicate or hold onto knowledge, I think I'd try to convince my former self to not just stick with but actually try significantly harder with Hebrew, Spanish, and Russian. Actually can I go back and talk to my parents? (Very Dangerous Idea) but like just to say, hey, start Hebrew REALLY early, like immediately, I'm gonna have a really hard time with it so I'm gonna need a lot more help a lot earlier if you want any possibility of me being able to work with any of it. Also, talk to your kid about Talmud and Kabbalah instead of... whatever we called Sunday School (Thursday school? Temple school? Can't remember). Religion and what passes for history isn't gonna work. Go with ethics and mysticism, those things your child actually cares about. Then I wouldn't have the impulse to choose the grad school I did because a decent chunk of my choice was based around finding a school that both offered a PhD (which I now know I do not actually want in writing or literature, at least not enough to do that much work for that little return) but also didn't require me to know two foreign languages (which I do not).

But you know, if you're going that far back and can communicate or even just remember everything, like can you just try and track down your people vastly early. Most of the people who are my primary attachements in my current life not only lived in my country but in my home state. Three not only lived in my state but in my county! Minion, even though I never met him until college, actually lived closer to me in time and mileage than I went to school in 4th, 5th, and 6th.

Of course then there's the convincing of people... hi, is ____ at home. Heuy, ____! Look, I know you've never met me but I have traveled back in time from a future where you are important to me and I miss you and don't want to wait until we actually enter each other's lives naturally. Might be a bit awkward.

...though I do wonder if I could save some friends pain. Like, could I interfere somehow with people who I know will be hurt if I kind of know where-ish, when-ish, and how-ish they were hurt? Would they then end up the same people? Hmmmm....

This is how we end up with alternate lives stories... huh.

If I can keep the people and what I know, though... then I wouldn't have to keep the places. Then, yeah, I'd probably change my major so I could have more knowledge because I LOVE being an insufferable know it all. Of course then I'd have to decide if I wanted psychology, education, or linguistics. Maybe religious studies but I'm always fascinated by religious studies UNTIL I'm actually taking classes and then I'm bored out of my mind, so probably not. There's also media studies :/ that would be useful.

Hmmph... I'd probably need to go back early enough to give some thought to what I'd actually want to study XD.

I think I'd still want the same ideal job that I ideally want now (and am not going to get). So... probably education, I guess. Yeah, there's a change I think I'd rather... just going so much harder after the job I wanted when there was time, energy, and momentum on my side.

Bleh... that sounds depressing.

Hmmmph.

[lindevi]

Running Your Best Convention One-Shot Part 2: Scenarios

At the 2021 Origins Game Fair, I experienced one of the best convention one-shot RPG sessions I’d ever played in—as well as the worst—back to back. This gave me a unique opportunity to compare and contrast what went well in the first session and what went awry in the second, especially in light of my experience as a tabletop RPG professional responsible for developing one-shots as well as demoing RPGs for convention play. Over the last ten years, I’ve run open and VIP tables at large flagship conventions like GenCon and Origins, regional cons such as AcadeCon and Con of the North, and local mini-cons on college campuses and at my own home. Over the years, I’ve also made my fair share of mistakes that I hope you can learn from.

Although there are many aspects to consider when planning and running an RPG one-shot at a convention, focusing on three elements of the session can give you a solid foundation and yield the best payoff per hour of prep spent. These three essential ingredients are: 1) exciting and accessible pre-generated character sheets, 2) a scenario that is optimized for one-off play, and 3) excellent player management at the table. In this second part of three, let’s take a deep dive into the next ingredient: the scenario.

The Purpose of One-Shot Scenarios

A one-shot is a roleplaying game session designed to offer an engaging play experience and tell a satisfying story within a single sitting. In most convention settings, a four-hour block of time is set aside for the game, but some “epic” sessions might last for six hours, while demos are typically designed to run for just one or two hours. With your regular gaming group, you might have a whole evening to play, without a hard cutoff point other than people’s energy levels.

I consider the play experience to be composed of two things: the GM’s primary motivation for running the one-shot, and what the players are expecting from the scenario. Are you trying to give players a taste of a game’s rules system? Are you looking to bring a set piece encounter to life with elaborate maps, minis, and terrain? Are you offering a chance to play a particular type of character that’s unusual, specialized, or high-powered? Are you trying to introduce or explore a particular setting, time period, or franchise? Or are you trying to entertain with an especially clever premise or mashup of different media properties? (“My Little Warhammer: Friendship is 40k,” I’m looking at you.) If you know what you’re trying to achieve, that can help you focus and prioritize your efforts.

Telling a satisfying story in a single sitting can be challenging, as it’s easy to try to cram too much plot or too many characters into the span of time available. There’s really only time to explore one main objective, a few obstacles, and a set of simplistic stakes. It might be helpful to treat your one-shot as if it were a single twenty-minute episode of a TV show—I often see folks try to cover the same amount of ground as a three-hou epic fantasy film, which just isn’t feasible. Here’s the basic formula I use when crafting scenarios:

When [a disruptive event happens], will a group of [adjective] [collective noun] be able to [adverb] [verb] the [noun] (to/from/at/in [noun]) before the [villain] [villain’s objective]?

And here’s that formula applied to a few different one-shots I’ve developed or written:

When a bounty hunter betrays a brutal crime syndicate, will a motley crew of scum and villains be able to capture or kill him before they become his next target? (“Under a Black Sun” for Star Wars: Edge of the Empire)

When a long-lost heir threatens to interrupt a politically crucial marriage, will a group of young samurai must choose see the match through, or call it off in the name of love? (“Wedding at Kyotei Castle” for Legend of the Five Rings Roleplaying)

After a rival underhive gang kidnaps their leader, will a group of Escher gangers be able to rescue their champion and get revenge before one of them reveals themselves to be a murder-cyborg? (“Fall of the House of Escher” for Dark Heresy 2nd Edition, unpublished con scenario)

Time Constraints and Pacing

In my opinion, the primary consideration for a one-shot is the time constraint. If the game runs longer than its allotted time, you won’t have a chance to pick up where you left off the following week or session—you’ll have to rush to the ending or worse, not offer a resolution at all.

My rule of thumb is to plan on roughly one encounter, dungeon room, or scene per hour (from here on, I’ll use the term “encounter” to refer to any of these discrete RPG session elements). For a four-hour one-shot, I try to stick to this schedule:

Introductions (30 minutes): Players choose characters and unpack dice/dice trays, GM introduces rules and setting, answers questions. I try to make sure that the PCs understand their goal going into the first encounter before we hit the 30 minute mark.

Encounter 1 (45 minutes): In pursuit of their goal, the PCs confront an obstacle that might be solved with combat, social interaction, exploration, or investigation.

Encounter 2 (45 minutes): The PCs encounter their next obstacle, one more challenging or with higher stakes than the first. There might be a major twist or reveal at the end of this encounter.

Break (15 minutes): Bio break—let people use the bathroom, get a drink/snack, check their phone, or simply stretch their legs.

Encounter 3 (45 minutes): The PCs encounter yet another obstacle, and they might glimpse opposing sides of the dilemma or fully grasp the stakes.

Final Encounter (1 hour): This is the climactic encounter in which the PCs make a decisive choice and/or face their hardest challenge yet.

I typically have an extra encounter or two in my back pocket in case the PCs breeze through one or more or the earlier encounters faster than anticipated, but these encounters can be left out without hurting the players’ enjoyment or understanding of the overall plot.

Pacing refers to the rate of movement or progress. In RPG terms, pacing refers to how quickly the PCs move from encounter to encounter or experience the story. Bad pacing can make for an unenjoyable game—players might grow bored if they are progressing through encounters too slowly, or they could feel dissatisfied or confused if they are moving through encounters too quickly. You can also affect pacing through variety: a one-shot that’s solely combat, investigation, or social encounters can blur together or feel repetitive, so include a mix of the different types of encounters that feature in the game’s rules, as well as emotional highs and lows (juxtaposing comedy with horror, for example). But take care when stringing vastly different kinds of encounters together. Not having appropriate transitions between encounters can feel jarring, so if there’s a little bit of travel or if time passes, make sure that’s communicated to the players. Give the players time to react to big events and talk among themselves, and once the conversation has run its course, that’s your cue to move on to the next encounter.

It takes some practice and experience to get pacing right, but you can look to your players for signs that the pacing is off—are they tuning out and checking their phones? Chatting among themselves trying to figure out what’s going on? Remember, you can always “fast forward” using narration to get to the next bit of action or excitement (but beware taking agency away from the PCs—you shouldn’t skip over any major decisions that could affect the story). From a logistical perspective, if one encounter runs long, you’ll need to shorten one of the subsequent encounters. If the encounters go by too quickly, however, the session will end early, which usually isn’t too big a deal at big conventions where there’s plenty to do and see (and eat), but it can be a bummer when players paid by the hour for an event.

Agency and Choice

To me, great one-shots are those with multiple possible endings, such that I can run it for different groups of players and have wildly different outcomes. This isn’t always feasible in organized play circumstances, where a shared experience is part of the point. When considering alternative resolutions, you might ask: Do the PCs pursue their original objective, or do they turn on the person who gave them the mission? Do the PCs side with one NPC or another in a dispute? Do the PCs achieve their goal by talking it out, using violence, or employing magic to solve their problems?

Agency is “the capacity, condition, or state of acting or of exerting power”—in games, that translates to the idea that the PCs can affect the game or the game world, whether for good or ill. Unlike most novels or TV shows, games are an interactive medium, so giving players some choices that matter will help them feel invested in the story.

The worst one-shots are those where the players don’t have agency and their actions don’t matter—the NPCs are too powerful or the PCs too weak to make a difference, or the PCs’ efforts turn out to be futile. One-shots that feature many long, scripted narratives in which the GM is basically telling the story without the players’ input can be indicative of one-shots with little player agency. In these moments, there’s no opportunity for the PCs to interject or act unless they—gasp—interrupt the GM, which many players will not feel comfortable doing. Cut scenes have become less popular in video games over time, and many players skip them altogether. Avoid cramming your one-shot full of cut scenes—think about where in your story would benefit the most from one deep, evocative description, and use it there.

When creating dilemmas and offering choices, one of the biggest considerations are stakes: what will or will not happen if the PCs fail, as well as what will or will not happen if they succeed? Choices should have consequences: rewards or punishments, treasure or injury, fame or infamy. Decisions don’t always have to be an either/or choice. They might be a question of methodology (how the PCs achieve the outcome), or a matter of degree. What matters is giving your players a say in how the story unfolds. Designing a scenario that takes player agency into account and offers meaningful choices and multiple resolutions are much more likely to engage players emotionally and make your one-shot a memorable one.

Let the Pre-Gens Shine

If you followed my advice and carefully crafted your pre-generated characters to suit the one-shot medium, those can be your guiding stars for designing your scenario. Try to match up the skills and capabilities of the PCs to the challenges offered, so that you have at least one sneaky character if the mission calls for stealth, one bruiser character for combat, one investigative character for discovering clues and solving mysteries, and so on. If the PCs come from different backgrounds in the world, try to make those backgrounds matter to the dilemma at hand or the choices offered. If your game features scheming and backstabbing among the PCs, those backgrounds can potentially put them at odds, as can conflicting motivations or agendas.

Once you’ve figured out what your four-plus encounters will be, return to your pre-gens and check whether they’re capable of tackling those challenges as a group. Ensure every PC will be able to contribute something to every encounter, and let them bring something extra to one encounter that can be their moment to shine.

Critical Hits and Fails

One spot your one-shot can crit fail is right at the beginning—if the players don’t know what they’re supposed to doing, they’ll flail around until they find something concrete to pursue, raising the risk that they’ll try to do something or go somewhere you haven’t prepared for. Create a strong and simple hook for why the player characters are involved and what they’re hoping to achieve—one that doesn’t require a ton of explanation or background knowledge. Such-and-such faction needs you to acquire the MacGuffin, rescue the princess, or eliminate the target (and in this case, yours not to reason why, yours but to do or die). You want to plunder the dungeon or raid the cultists’ lair for loot and glory. You need to get off this island/space station/planet because if you don’t, you’re all dead. If you need to provide a ton of context for players to understand the scenario, simplify the plot down to its essence or save that particular scenario for a mini-campaign, where you’ll have more time to get into the weeds.

Another area where your one-shot can go awry is if you’re trying to make the game system do something it wasn’t meant to do, or emphasize a part of the game rules that isn’t well supported. If chases are really challenging to arbitrate in that game, either simplify the chase rules (at the worst, narrating them instead of trying to mechanize them) or avoid chases altogether. If you want to include psionics in a game where psionics are rare and work totally differently from regular magic, either make sure players know that up front and study the rules ahead of time, or avoid psionics in the first place. More egregious examples would be using a game that’s mostly a combat simulation to run intricate social intrigues. If you find yourself homebrewing rules for your one-shot, ask whether you’re making the game more accessible or more complicated. Players typically need some reminding how the normal game system works, much less how something they’ve never encountered before should function.

One place where your scenario can roll a critical success is with physical props. If you prepare relevant handouts, print off maps or terrain, or provide standees or miniatures, you’re adding an extra tactile experience to your game, which can provide novelty and engagement. Handouts could be representations such as illustrations of certain rooms or NPCs, in-universe artifacts such as mission briefings or newspaper clippings, or even small trinkets from your local thrift store to represent important artifacts. If the MacGuffin is a special necklace that needs protecting, how cool would it be to have a physical representation of that necklace on hand for one of the players to wear? If the PCs will be attending a masquerade party, you can enhance the immersion by providing some cheap masks for them to wear while they roleplay. (If it’s something a little silly, dive into it with gusto, and your players will likely follow.) I always think of the enormous “Treasure Island” diorama that gets set up at Con of the North every year, complete with minis and pirate ship and resin water, which looks like an absolute delight to play on and is not something I get to do at home. And some of the clubs take over entire rooms and decorate their space to suit their games, creating an immersive and unforgettable experience.

A few caveats: Regarding text-based handouts, just make sure they’re brief and to the point (journals with multiple entries or a collection of letters are often too much for a one-shot). If hand-outs are going to need to be deciphered, figure in plenty of time for the PCs to work out the solution and discuss the implications among themselves. Along those lines, be sure to give yourself extra time to set up or tear down any maps or minis or terrain, and consider how you’ll transport them to the convention (including through airport security) and how you’ll store those items between sessions, if you’re running the one-shot multiple times.

Even if you aren’t writing a one-shot scenario from scratch, you can use these suggestions to improve how you run published adventures. If there are too many encounters, figure out what you can change to cut the scenario down to fit in the allotted time slot. Add choice points or dilemmas if the module is overly linear. Adjust the pre-gens to be more usable, and figure out ways you can make those lengthy read-aloud boxes part of the action.

Stay tuned for the third and final part of this series on managing players at the table! You can be notified of when they’re posted by subscribing to my email newsletter here.

[snifflesthemouse]

Harry’s the Problem. His wife is the symptom. He is the real Diana 2.0 Wannabe...

         Since the Oprah interview aired, my whole perspective regarding the spare and his spouse has shifted. It would seem that I’m not alone in my thought process as more and more media outlets start reporting similar stances. Just recently, there was an article suggesting Harry didn’t change; but rather, he is only finally revealing his true self. The more I think about it all, the more I’ve come to the realization #6 is the real culprit behind everything.

         I’m not saying that his wife doesn’t have her own agenda or shares responsibility for her part in all this. Her hands are far from clean. What I am saying is it’s finally time for all of us to consider the cold, hard truth. Harry is his mother’s child. Harry is the bad egg, and his wife is only a side effect of the real problem here.

         Had it not been for the Oprah interview, I would have never put it all together. The problem with oversharing is too much information gets put out in the public. Most assume PR firms would worry about oversaturation in the press, but the real problem comes from personal interviews they cannot control in real-time. Puff pieces can be edited before publishing so facts and statements align; live interviews cannot. Over time, one of two patterns form from this oversaturation. Consistencies, repetitions, and similarities can be found in oversaturated truth-telling. Inconsistencies, changes, and huge differences result from those like Harry who prefer their trousers scorching hot from bursting into flames from deception. When you consistently lie, the only constant is the inconsistencies. 

         Now, those of us who have been following these two already know by now inconsistencies and changing stories should be expected. But the Oprah interview really highlighted some interesting things I had previously missed. The interview with Dax Shephard only solidifies my theories. Up until lately, those two have been together through most everything. Very seldom have we seen Harry alone in an interview or speech. There’s never a time where the missus isn’t popping up. James Corden proved that. Then we have the Oprah interview where she was supposed to be the star of the show. But, that was the moment it all changed. That interview was the moment she became the understudy. 

          Think about it. Who is the one being used in the media lately? Most people would suggest that the impending delivery of child number dos is why the missus is absent. One would then argue the Apple + special with Oprah started production well before the second child was a topic for discussion. The missus is being used less and less on camera or in the media. Everything is all about Harry. Forget about when Harry met Sally; Harry Met Hollywood! 

         Harry is the one doing the interviews, dropping projects, and talking with big Hollywood names. Even their announced Netflix projects are focused on one of Harry’s pre-married concepts. All the wife has going for her is a book that’s only number one in the “Books written by ex-Royals who couldn’t hack it” category. Seriously though, as of this posting the Bench is #2130 on the Amazon Books list, #12 in Children’s Black and African American Story Books, #73 in Children’s Emotions Books, and #167 in Children’s Family Life Books. Being pregnant isn’t a disqualifier for being interviewed. But, apparently being just the wife is.

         So, if it was his wife’s plan from the beginning to marry Harry, get him to abandon his family, move to California, and become a big star with a Prince for a husband, her plans have been ruined. And if you think about what she said in the interview with Oprah, you can actually see the moments she told us all exactly that. She clearly tells Oprah Harry was her direct link and source to the Royal Family and everything she needed to know. She didn’t misspeak or misunderstand a thing; she was telling us that Harry’s next to be markled. In every weird answer or revelation where she gave her versions for why their child(ren) were without title, saying they wed three days before the chapel, or having to cry out to HR since Harry failed to help her while she was so depressed she wanted to kill herself and her unborn child... all of it. It was all just the beginning. It may seem like she is attacking her husband’s family, but Harry’s the real target now.

          In just a couple sentences, she managed to reveal who Harry really was. Harry, of all people, should (and does) know how to navigate the press. Clearly, he failed to not only help her acclimate to Royal life, but it could also even be argued he set her up for failure for the get go. Let me give you an example. When my husband introduced me to his family for the first time, he told me little tidbits of information he found important for me to know. He essentially prepped me for the meeting so things went well. He wanted his family to like me because he loved me. I wanted them to like me because I loved him, too. So, I took to heart everything he told me. Yet, Harry’s wife shared with the world how little Harry cared about that. She credits Fergie with teaching her to curtsey, google for teaching her the National Anthem, and even said Her Majesty made her feel especially welcomed. So how did Harry not do more? If they started seeing one another in the early Summer of 2016, how is it Harry failed to teach or explain anything to her prior to meeting his grandmother, the Queen, when he had months and months of time to do so? How is it he failed his wife so miserably, she didn’t even understand basic UK custom, laws, or protocols? Why might you ask?

         Simply put, Harry is so much like his mother, all he knows is how to play the victim narrative while using the link to the Royal family as a nonstop ATM machine. Many people aren’t honest with themselves when it comes to Diana. She wasn’t the Mother Theresa everyone makes her out to be. Mother Theresa wasn’t a Mother Theresa either, though. Did Diana do some great things? Absolutely. Did she do them only because they were nice or great? Absolutely… not. Diana’s PR team would even have her switch up her charity causes whenever they felt it was getting to martyrdom level. They’d refer to her PR stunts as flavors. Does that sound like an innocent woman?

         Not to me. This whole time we all have seen his wife as the root of all issues, but she’s the side effect. It’s becoming more clear by the day that Harry searched out her. He wanted someone with the basic Hollywood connections that he could capitalize. Someone that seemed so controlling and ambitious it would be easy to believe they were controlling him, too. Of course he knew she would invite all the celebs she did. He probably inspired that guest list. Instead of guiding her in the press and in British society, he leads her to slaughter. He hides behind her repeated gaffes and wokeness to keep on his own mission.

         You see, Harry is obsessed with his brother eventually becoming king, being the “Second Son of Diana” and being the misfit. He is obsessed with his brother and father. They are all he talks about. When you obsess on something like that, it is more revealing than anything you say. Harry’s true motives aren’t protecting his wife and children. His real motive is making a name for himself like his mother did. If he can manage to get some revenge by making the Firm feel some backlash, hey that’s a bonus. 

         While his wife may think in her mind she will be the next Diana 2.0, the truth is we all missed who really will be. Harry is the one wanting to be Diana 2.0. If that’s the case, then that means the much older spouse for whom there are two children with, aka the wife, would be his Charles. Remember, Diana lost her HRH and titles. And we have Harry being very aggressive and pushy, to the point it seems he is trying to get ahead of a Palace announcement of them losing their titles. But it makes sense now.

         They aren’t trying to lose anything, but instead Harry keeps opening his mouth to create pressure in the media. He knows his wife does not want to give those titles back. But if he himself keeps saying outrageous things, then it would put everyone in ultimatum mode. Either Harry will push hard enough that Parliament and the Queen will have enough, or the press will get so critical of the two, Harry will push his wife to agree to returning the titles.

         Harry is following the Diana business model. While in the Royal Family, they both were seen as rock stars who had more star power the the Sovereign, which was an issue. Then, they couldn’t take all the abuse, coldness, and inhumanity, so they bolted for freedom. Instead of putting the past behind them, they use the past to monetize grief and trauma in such a way, they become their own brand. Right now, the trauma being monetized comes from the past, but the problem will soon come when that trauma is tapped out. He will need a source of new pain or victimhood. Enters the wife stage left.

          The wife is a tool. She of course has her own plans and thinks she is the one in control or the genius. She thinks she is the one everyone wants to work with. But it’s becoming clear to her that isn’t the case and she’s been played by her elite buddies. They all want him, not her. They all duped her for him. If I can see it, and I can see her already finger pointing that Harry is the failure here, then she can see it. And that means paradise will soon be lost in those Montecito hills. His wife won’t go down without a serious fight here. I wouldn’t even be surprised if she eventually causes him to lose his special visa. 

         Overall, Harry hides behind his wife like a beard or shield protecting him from the press’s glaring lens. He lets her do and say whatever she thinks is great so he can keep plotting his own plans. He allows her to take the fall, look stupid, pull stunts people can see through, etc. for a reason. He isn’t completely sure he can make it in his new California life. He knows he can’t if he keeps her for too long, but he also knows he needs an exit strategy in case it blows up. So, he pins the press to attack her as the true culprit. If they split and he has to, he can return home and play the victim of her. If they split and he is doing okay in Hollywood, she can be the reason he plays victim to big named people like Oprah and Gayle. 

         I can see it now. An Oprah Special with Harry tonight on Apple +. Something cheesy or corny that is almost plagiarism. Like Narcissus and the Prince or something. Watch. Mark my words. Oprah talking to Harry about surviving the marriage while trying to rescue two small kids, being in the spotlight as a Royal while being gaslit by a narcissistic wife… yes I can see the green screen set up now.

         I know this is difficult to digest, but I do ask you to try. While his wife is not innocent, she clearly is guilty for her own part indeed, his wife isn’t the true problem. The true problem here is a man who has a serious issue with living in the shadow of his future-King father and future-King brother, and his future-King nephew, that he has chosen to use the same exact attack model his own mother used to merch and marginally disrupt the institution that made her a star. Harry and his mother both wanted the entire spotlight, but both knew they could never have it the way they wanted it. So, they wrote their own victimhood narrative.

         And here we are now. Mark my words. Harry will keep pushing until those remaining titles are removed by them forcing the hands of Parliament and the Queen. Or, they’ll push and push in the press so much the outrage and hypocrisy will leave them no other option but to renounce and re-gift those titles and rights to the line of succession. That is what he wants, even if his missus doesn’t. Also make no mistake about it. Harry is the real Diana 2.0 wannabe, not his wife. Keep an eye out. I have this gnawing feeling that soon enough, there will be plenty leaks from the wife about the husband. She won’t go quietly into the Beverly Hills… but neither will he.

[theworldbrewery]

over our last two sessions, I ran something a little different. Our cleric, Oggie, has a (complicated) relationship with this NPC, Elliot. Elliot is a gay half-elf man whose father is a politician and diplomat; Elliot’s father has decided that since Elliot has a criminal record (he was framed for treason) the best way to ensure he is provided for is to marry him off to another political family, neatly tucking him away where he can’t cause a scandal.

Now, his father isn’t too interested in Elliot’s desire for romance or attraction, so he’s arranged a marriage with a young woman from a prominent elven family. The party quickly decided that this cannot stand. They agreed to attend the wedding in order to prevent it from happening.

Upon arrival at the venue, however, a few key things were going to pop off. First, it turns out Oggie’s estranged family lives in the town. Second, the whole region is deeply haunted and extremely sinister. Third, messing up the bride’s life was a non-option, because when I introduced the character of the bride, a friend of ours came out of the bedroom where I’d stashed them and introduced themself as Gloria, the bride herself (an air genasi monk in a family of elves, another outsider).

this was already clearly a rousing success, but we still had to get through the wedding, and I had to run it in a way that felt dynamic and tense. People go from room to room and building to building, indoors and outdoors and making visits to the village. It’s the day of a wedding!

So I developed a method for running the Day of the Wedding, and I’m sharing it with you for any extended roleplay and intrigue encounters you want to tangle up in plot threads.

First things first: run it like a combat.

What I mean by that is when the party woke up on the day of the wedding, I asked them all to roll for initiative. Instead of a round taking six seconds, each round lasted one hour, enough time for a movement (go to 2 areas near one another or 1 place that’s a bit further away), an action (a primary roleplay scene or investigation), and a bonus action (a conversation with a fellow player character, a quick search of an area, etc.). As the DM, use your discretion to decide what constitutes a suitable bonus action vs action.

Now, unlike combat, this type of encounter should permit player characters to team up and act together. When a PC that is high in initiative order decides to do something, other PCs that rolled lower can opt to join them if they want to act in the same location or engage with the same NPCs. (This is a great option to keep the action moving and lets players work together more.)

In order to keep this situation rolling, I prepared a few key notes. I focused on regional effects; that is, the overall culture and vibe of the area. I decided early on that the region is haunted, and that the locals are suspicious, superstitious, and obsessed with cleanliness. These features are tied into the overall plot conflicts that would develop over time. I also chose to include the effects of the Haunted table from Tasha’s Cauldron to add some spiciness to my haunting. In essence, think of the tensions the NPCs in the region are already experiencing prior to the party getting involved. A recent assassination might make a court intrigue more complicated as they now distrust strangers, for instance, while a new trade war over tariffs can complicate a diplomatic mission.

Next, I considered my locations. In this instance, my locations included the inn where the party slept, various rooms in the manor house hosting the wedding, a handful of outdoor areas, and the chapel. I focused on creating detailed descriptions of the ambiance for each location.

Then, I wrote out a quick description of each major NPC - in this case, the wedding party, the family of the intended, and a few locals and guests. In a roleplay/intrigue scenario like this, it’s vital to include motivations, secrets, and goals for each of these NPCs, even if those goals are very simple. You’ll need them for the last step:

Create a round-by-round timeline. Write out your list of locations and pair them with the NPCs that will be there during each round (hour). In my notes, I added what the NPC was doing there or what they were thinking about--linking their motivation to their location. For example, a character in the garden was leaving an early-morning meeting with her lover, the new gardener, while the fathers of the bride and groom met in the library to discuss the cover-up they had just pulled off (a politician and wedding guest had died mysteriously at midnight, and to keep the wedding from being derailed, they had hidden the body and were intimidating the only witness).

Party members who arrived at each location were therefore entering existing scenes they didn’t have full context for. Each hour, the NPCs would move on to the next phase of their day, seek out other NPCs to interact with, etc. NPCs could still be influenced by the party’s actions, so each round you might adjust exactly what they’re doing or where they’ve gone--the beauty of improv!

Keep in mind that situations should still be developing when the party isn’t witnessing them. An NPC no one had spoken to yet turned out to have spent the morning searching for her missing father, which led the party to the gravesite that they’d spotted earlier in the game, while the gardener turned out to be a villain they’d met before who was acting in secret during the session! Use your best judgment, though. Just because you wrote content for an NPC doesn’t mean the party will engage with it, so follow their lead; sprinkle the clues, and then let the party’s focus drive which storylines get developed.

So long as every NPC has a goal or secret to influence their opinions and decisions, they will feel like nuanced actors within the roleplay scenario; the timeline you lay out in advance gives them a sort of “Artificial Intelligence” that can be influenced by the player’s actions.

Personally, I also recommend setting a natural deadline for the party. If my players didn’t stop the wedding by 1pm, for instance, the ceremony would go forward and they would either be forced to object in public or let the marriage take place. Thus, they only had 5 total “rounds” to disrupt things enough that the wedding would be called off.

You can create similar deadlines depending on the central goal of the party. A vote on whether to pass a controversial law could serve as one for a court intrigue arc, while a crime-solving arc might have a threatened time when a kidnapping victim will be murdered (”You have 24 hours to deliver the ransom”, for example). The sense of a ticking time-bomb gives the players a much-needed urgency. The round-by-round timeline also helps to ensure that you won’t have to continue prepping rounds ad infinitum; instead, you need only prepare up until shit pops off and the deadline is reached.

You may find you won’t reach the deadline, though. In this arc, the party discovered the corpse of a major politician who had died in the night and was secretly buried by the gardener. They used the cover-up as leverage to blackmail the parents of the bride and groom into calling off the marriage, which was helped along by the ranger revealing that Elliot’s father was concealing Elliot’s criminal record to keep the marriage arrangement intact. They managed to prevent the wedding with an hour to spare.

However, as Alice the sorcerer went downstairs to announce the cancellation, she spotted a person who looked just like her weaving through the crowd to leave the manor. She followed, and discovered that she was tracking the semi-villainous NPC who had crossed paths with the party a few times before, disguised as Alice. The NPC, Florian, had been playing the role of the gardener, and blackmailed the bride’s father into giving up a precious family heirloom in exchange for concealing the body; now that the cover-up has been revealed, they’re getting out of Dodge with their prize. This revelation serves as the plot hook for the next dungeon!

[reidingmelodies]

Dinos and Tigers and Donuts, Oh My!

Summary: Spencer wanted one thing this year: for your kids to plan his perfect Father’s Day Pairing: Spencer Reid x fem!Reader Includes: dad!Spencer, heavy mentions of Father’s Day, mentions and consumption of food Category: Fluff Word Count: 2.6k A/N: This isn’t my favorite, but it’s been sitting in my drafts for awhile all the same! Happy Sunday ♥️

 When Spencer was called away on cases your house seemed to lose a bit of its charm.  Mornings felt more tiring than ever before, the afternoon slumps dragged on for what seemed like years, and dinners, even with babbling five and seven-year-olds at your side, were a little too quiet.

This time around though, things were different.  You woke up to your five-year-old daughter sitting by your feet, her mind preoccupied by one of the search and find books Spencer had bought her the week prior.

The space next to you was empty, a piece of paper lying where your husband previously was, and you knew exactly what it was going to say before you even picked it up.

Good morning, love,

I got called on a case this morning, but it’s local and the team thinks we can wrap it up by tonight.  The kids both ate breakfast- and PSA that they were a little too excited I was going to be gone for the day.  I don’t know what they’re planning, but good luck.  I love you, and I’ll see you soon.

-Spencer

Unlike Spencer, you knew exactly what the kids were excited for, and it had everything to do with Father’s Day being tomorrow- you just hoped he would be home in time to celebrate like he predicted.

You folded the letter and placed it in your nightstand along with the others you’ve found gracing his pillow in years past when your bedroom door opened just the slightest amount.

In walked your seven-year-old son, comically exaggerating his tip toe motions as he stage whispered to his sister.  

“Is Mommy still sleeping?” He shifted his gaze in your direction, all effort to keep quiet out the window when he saw your eyes meet his.

“Mom! Guess what?” you opened your mouth to respond, but your daughter beat you to the punch.

“Daddy left for a work trip this morning!  So, we can make our plan today while he isn’t here!”

There was no denying that your kids loved their daddy, that was for sure.

“That’s so great!” you matched their enthusiasm with ease, getting ready for the day while they kept brainstorming in the background.  

Just last week, you had asked Spencer what he wanted to do for Father’s Day over dinner, and the children were as attentive as ever, eyes wide and lips pursed as they waited to hear the plans for the big day.

But, to their amusement, Spencer’s only plan was that they plan the entire day.  His reasoning was that they were the reason he was a dad so they should be the ones to decide what to do, but really you knew the truth was that he overheard their whispers about having the perfect plan for his day.

A plan you were finally going to be let in on, so it seemed.

The three of you made your way down to the kitchen where you settled down with your breakfast, eyebrows raised in enjoyment at your children.  They were sat across from you with a stash of markers and fresh index cards, and they had a few stacks of previously filled out index cards resting along the center of the table.

Ah- so that’s where they’re going with this.

It had become a bit of a family tradition to have a family scavenger hunt whenever you had a full weekend together.  You and Spencer were all too familiar with the concept of cherishing the time you have with your loved ones, and there were many a weekend where Spencer was called away, or you were busy with a million other plans ranging from extended family gatherings to birthday parties or weddings.

It was all the more reason to make the moments where it was just the four of you count even more- and thus, family scavenger hunts were born.

When they were toddlers, the scavenger hunts centered around finding certain shapes or colors, be it in the house or at the park.  Once every item was checked off you would have a family outing of their choice: the go to choice used to be another trip to the park (the one with the ‘fancier’ slides this time), but with the upgrade to slightly harder scavenger hunts centered on science and math they’ve upped their prize to ice cream.

What could you say? They were Spencer’s kids through and through.

“Wow!” you exclaimed, relishing in the beaming smiles on their faces, “do you guys want to make a scavenger hunt for daddy?”

Two enthusiastic faces nodded eagerly in your direction as your son grabbed one of the red markers.

“Yes! And we can have dino pancakes in the morning and get donuts after our scavenger hunt at the zoo- all of daddy’s favorite things!”

Dino pancakes were a Sunday morning staple in your home- you would use a cookie cutter to cut out a dinosaur shaped pancake, and the kids would eat those while you and Spencer would eat the ones with the dinosaur outline in them (and a few regular ones for good measure).  But donuts instead of ice cream?  That was new.

“That’s a great idea, I’m so proud of you guys for working together to plan this,” you praised, “but why donuts?”

Your daughter peered up from the index card she was drawing flowers on to answer your question, “because they’re daddy’s favorite and it’s daddy’s day!”

“And for our scavenger hunt we want all the animals to spell out ‘best dad ever’,” your son tacked on at the end, already beginning the task of writing numbers and circling them on the front of the card.

That was another newfound tradition for your family.  Now that the kids were learning to read, the two of you would try to have the first letter of each answer spell out a certain word or phrase.  Sometimes, it would be something like ‘I love you’ or ‘hello’, other times it would be the name of a special someone that would be joining you for ice cream afterwards (so far ‘Aunt Penny’ and ‘Uncle D’ were their favorite ones to come across).

You grinned once more, moving to grab your laptop and pulling the Smithsonian’s National Zoo site up to look at their list of animals.

“Alright, my loves- let’s do this”.

***

Three hours, eleven index cards, one snack break, and two very patient children later, your scavenger hunt was finished, index cards clipped and ready to go for the following morning.

Each index card had blank slots, the number of which corresponded to the name of the animal, on the front of the card with three fun facts written on the back.  In retrospect, Spencer wouldn’t even need the slots (or more than one fun fact, to be fair), but you knew he’d make a show of trying to think of each and every animal tomorrow afternoon.

Yet another reason you loved him.

The rest of the day passed by in a blur, all of your energy going into spending time with your kids. But once they went to bed, that energy was refocused into prepping for tomorrow to take your mind off the fact that it was nearing 10 PM and your husband wasn’t there.

You couldn’t bear to think of your kids disappointment if he didn’t make it home that night.

Outfits out and pancakes ready to be made, you made your way to the couch when the clock struck 11:30 PM, ready to settle in for a movie while you awaited his return but there was no need- as you walked into the room your husband made his way through the front door.  He looked as exhausted as ever, but the glimmer in his eyes proclaimed what you knew to be true.

He was happy to be home.

***

7 AM the next morning found you face to face with two wide eyed children gently shaking you awake, joy radiating from them as they saw that their father was fast asleep next to you.

With much persuasion in the form of puppy dog eyes, you made your way out of bed and into the kitchen to start the first task of the day: dino pancakes.  

Your little helpers set the table and brought Spencer’s gifts from the coat closet and into the dining room in the meantime, and as you placed the last pancake on a plate two arms wrapped around you and pulled you back tightly.

“Good morning, darling,” his raspy morning voice brought a soft smile to your face, and you leaned your head back to kiss his lips in greeting.

“Happy Father’s Day, Spence,” you laid another kiss against his lips, pulling back as the patter of little feet made their way into the kitchen.

“Daddy!  Happy Father’s Day!”

“Daddy!  Come see your gifts and eat pancakes!”

Two little voices fought for the spotlight, and Spencer kneeled to the ground to wrap the both of them in a hug.  You laughed at the scene, watching as they squeezed him just as hard before grabbing onto his arm and leading him to the dining room table.

“C’mon, Dad,” your son pulled his chair out and pushed his gifts closer to his seat, “let’s eat and open gifts!”

“Gifts?  You guys know I don’t want anything,” his brows furrowed as he looked at you, but you shrugged your eyes and took a bite of your pancakes in response.

“You always say that,” you rightly claimed, “and we always buy you gifts anyway- it’s practically tradition”.

You had a point, there.

Breakfast passed by in a blur of conversation, dad jokes, and present unwrapping.  And just like that, Spencer was the owner of new books to pass his time on the jet, a 5k puzzle you were sure he’d solve in an hour flat, and a homemade Father’s Day shirt with your children’s handprints decorating a globe, the words ’Best Dad in the WORLD!!!’ gracing the blank space.

His eyes sparkled when he saw the shirt, and you swore you’ve never been happier to call that man your husband and the father of your children.

Granted, that thought passed your mind no less than fifteen times a day, but still.

Within the hour, the four of you were out the door and on the way to the zoo, Spencer’s Father’s Day shirt proudly on display.

You drove with a grin, the radio turned off in favor of listening to your children explain today’s scavenger hunt to Spencer.  They were practically giving a word for word verbatim of what the two of you usually told them pre-scavenger hunt, all the more proof that your kids were sponges.

An equally exciting yet terrifying thought.

You were at the zoo within half an hour, your hand intertwined with your son’s while your daughter latched onto her father, everyone eager to start the scavenger hunt.

“Alright, guys,” Spencer began, “what’s our first clue?”

“Mommy can read it!” your daughter piped up and you nodded, grabbing the small pile from her hands before reading the first card of the day.

“Okay, so!  This animal has six letters in its name, and your three fun facts are: whiskers help this animal detect objects around them which helps them navigate the dark, they’re the largest rodents in North America, and when they’re in danger they slap their tail on the surface of the water” you finished your explanation and watched as Spencer’s eyes lit up in recognition, but just as you predicted he dragged the process out instead of guessing right away.

“Hm, it sounds like we should go to the rodent exhibit first!” He proclaimed, and your kids nodded, walking in a row like little ducklings to the exhibit.

The four of you took your time looking at each of the animals, until you came face to face with the animal in question.  “Aha! I think the animal we’re looking for is a beaver,” his answer was met with cheers from both of your children, and you wrote the answer in the blank slots before continuing with the hunt.

At the end of the hour you added an electric eel, sloth bear, tiger, dama gazelle, alpaca, and degu to the list.  Eight animals down, four to go.

Which was fantastic, considering that your kids were starting to get antsy for donuts.

“Okay, guys!  Are we ready for our next animal?” You were walking hand in hand with Spencer, your kids skipping directly in front of you and eagerly shouting in affirmation at your question.

The four of you stepped to the side, and you grabbed hold of the fourth to last index card before reciting the hints.

“Alright so!  This animal is two words, seven letters in the first word and seven in the second.  They have whiskers that look like mustaches, they’re native to the southwest Amazon Basin, and they have claws on each of their toes but the big one”.

“Hmm.. I don’t know guys, what do you think?” Spencer turned to your children, smiling wide when your son giggled in response.

“We can’t tell you, Dad! It’s a secret”.

Spencer laughed, sighing in defeat as your daughter gestured for him to come closer.  He did as asked, leaning down until she able to reach his ear, “I think we should go to the monkey exhibit!”

Her not so quiet whisper brought a smile to both yours and Spencer’s faces, and a grimace to your son’s but to the monkeys you went, where you came face to face with an Emperor Tamarin.

From there you crossed a Von der Decken’s Hornbill and an Eld’s Deer off your list until you had one animal left.

“Alright, my love- last one! This animal is two words, three letters in the first one and five in the second.  They mainly eat bamboo, their fur acts like a camouflage when they climb in trees, and they live in temperate forests in the Himalayas,” you finished your spiel with a quick eyebrow raise towards your children, both of which were not so discreetly pointing at the red panda exhibit just a few feet away.

“Is it a red panda?” Spencer asked, giving both your kids high fives when they jumped up and down in excitement.

“Yay Daddy, you got it! And guess what all of the first letters spell? Best dad ever!” your daughter jumped into his arms and Spencer chuckled, spinning her around and laying a gentle kiss on her head.

“Is that so?” he asked, “you three are too nice to me”.

Truthfully, you didn’t think it was possible to be too nice to Spencer.

“How about our last surprise for Daddy now, my loves?” your question was met with enthusiasm from your little family, and you were back in your car and on your way to Spencer’s favorite bakery in ten minutes flat.

As you pulled up to the bakery, two eager children and one extremely happy father made plans as to what donuts they were going to eat.

It was decided that Spencer would get a chocolate frosted donut with sprinkles, your son would get a glazed donut, and your daughter would get jelly.

And you? You had every intention to get your favorite too, but above all you were just happy that another amazing Father’s Day was in the books for Spencer.

The seventh of many.

***

thank you for reading!! if you’d like to join my taglist you can do so here 💕

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[bokutoslittlebird]

Haikyuu Characters as Husbands/Dads [Meian, Osamu]

Semi will be released at a later date (because I lost his and don’t know where it went 😥)

Meian - 2 sons

> I'd love for this man to be my husband, no lie. He's supportive and so attractive, like there is no downside. Plus, he's funny, but can be strict when he needs to be so kids actually like him.

> Husband Meian is one of the best because while he has his own responsibilities, he always makes time to spend with you. He takes care of you (so you don't have to work) and he's a great support system. Also, you visiting him at practice? You're like the team mom because everyone loves you.

> This man, oh my gosh. His dick is big, I know it is. He's one of the few who has to prep you heavily before he gets on with the main course, but it is so delicious when he does. Sex can sometimes be spontaneous, but he usually saves some energy to get back home and please you before bath time and then bed. On his days off, morning sex is common and sometimes he just gets so horny. It's like everything you do is so unbelievably hot.

> Now, children. Children, for him, is not something he necessarily needs in his life. If you don't want kids because you don't like them or you can't, that's fine. He won't push the issue. If you want kids and can't have them, he'll look into adoption places. You want him to get you pregnant? Congratulations, you unlocked the Breeding Kink badge. Collect it once you can walk again! But for real, with the consent to finish inside you, he is in heaven.

> The pregnancy process is a normal one, surprisingly. Once more your pillar, he is there when you feel sick or are in pain. He also promises to share in the responsibilities once the child is born, since he hears you getting up constantly because of the baby. He doesn't go to every doctor visit, but he does try to go to the ones that matter. Also, MSBY loves when you come around because they can fawn over you.

> Bokuto probably fawns over you the most, but Hinata's right there with him. Sometimes, Meian has to tell them to skedaddle because they forgot they're volleyball players and not daycare workers. Atsumu also fawns over you, but he doesn't do it as much. Sakusa.. he doesn't like babies that much. They're kind of gross, in his opinion, but he seems to understand the fuss once he feels the baby moving (after he's gotten used to it).

> The due date arrives and Meian is completely calm. He is aware that it would happen today and is prepared. He seems calm, but is actually panicking. He worries about any complications, but he tries to stay positive for you. When you're squeezing his hand and cursing him for putting a baby in you, he is actually sorry. He feels so guilty, but he kisses your hand and your forehead, telling you how proud he is and how much he loves you. Once the screams of a small child fill the room, you're both crying from happiness.

> You deal with the child most of the time, but you do take your kid to practices and matches. Once the kid can be taken to practices, it's over for organized practices. Everyone's cooing and looking at the baby, telling you how proud you must be and how they're so cute. Of course, Inunaki jokes that the only reason it's cute is because you're the mother, because Meian has no good features. Anyways, everyone does extra work that day.

> Meian can't be there as much as he wants to be, so he often makes up for it by holding his promise of helping out at night. He may be exhausted from the day, but he knows you'd be even more exhausted after dealing with his spawn after the day is over. It also helps the kid get used to him, seeing dad takes care of him as much as mom, you know?

> Meian is also not against a second child, as long as you're okay with it. You might get pregnant again on accident, but he can't say he's upset about the positive pregnancy test. He'll be there with you through thick and thin, no matter what.

Osamu - Twins, 1 boy and 1 girl

> This man is a godsend. I love him, you love him, it all works out. He is also one of the best husbands to have because of his fantastic cooking ability. 

> The wedding was almost as chaotic as Tendo’s, not gonna lie. With his brother there, it was chaos. Suna recorded the whole thing, so get togethers involve the wedding tape being displayed. Watching Atsumu shove an entire cake slice into Osamu’s face is funny, sure, but watching Osamu practically hurl the entire cake at Atsumu is even funnier. Aran picking up Kita before he gets trampled by cake-covered twins is so sweet, it’s the sweeter than the cake (Osamu had a spare in case).

> Now this man, this man will never let you starve. Oh, you're kind of hungry? Food. He's making you Onigiri. Oh, you want something new for dinner? He's whipping out three different cookbooks and his laptop to look up new recipes. Oh, need a midnight snack? He prepared something before bed, so you'd have a midnight snack. The best husband to marry.. if you love food.

> If you are not as crazy about food as him, that's okay, but he will bring food into the bedroom. Maybe once a week if you're okay with it, but if not then once a month. He loves licking things off your body, so food play. I also feel like he loves to feed you, so feederism, but he just enjoys seeing you in the sea of pleasure and enjoying his food. It fills him with so much love.

> Speaking of love, the children. He's gonna have twins if he pops a baby into you. If there is a bun in the oven, some baby batter in the baby factory, you're gonna be seeing double. However, children are not a necessity. He doesn't find joy in raising children like some people, but he isn't heavily against it, either. If you cannot have children or simply don't want to get pregnant, but want them, he will also be okay with that. Looking through options and settling on a decision together brings you guys closer, after all.

> If you choose to get pregnant, he is one of the best to be with you. While there's Kuroo, with big bucks, Osamu can make anything to sate cravings. He's willing to take time off from the shop and focus on you, and he's good at dealing with mood swings. He's lived this long after being around Atsumu, Suna, and Kita. He can handle mood swings. He is also always with you when you go to the doctor, with questions of what he can and cannot feed you. It's his love language, after all!

> The babies, aww. You guys get a set of twins, a boy and girl, who look a lot like Osamu and Atsumu from their baby pictures. Atsumu is there and he jokes that maybe they're his kids, but one look from Kita has him apologizing almost immediately. Yes, Inarizaki alumni have gathered in the hospital to look upon the children. Well, not the hospital, they visit Osamu and you at home, where you're well rested and recovering.

> Osamu is The Man. He is waking up in the middle of the night, either with or without you. If you wake up, he'll heat up some baby formula/milk for the children and also make some food for the two of you. Since it's double the trouble, he makes sure to not leave you to take care of them by yourself. If you don't wanna get up or don't wake up, he doesn't mind. This just means he can spend more time with the kids, since he's busy during the day.

> Atsumu babysits! He babysits with Kita and Aran, but he babysits! He loves being an uncle and loves to play with the twins. He also brings/buys them little toys to chew and drool over because he enjoys them enjoying things. Aran also helps Kita make food/milk for the babies, acting like an actual married couple as they feed the small spawns. Atsumu naps around this time, eventually joined by napping babies.

> When the kids get older, they'll never feel unloved. Between you and Osamu, they have two very loving parents. But then you add in Uncle 'Tsumu, Uncle Aran, Uncle Kita, Uncle Sakusa, Uncle Bokuto, Uncle Akaashi- the list never ends. Everyone that knows you guys is an uncle. Inarizaki alumnis are uncles. MSBY Black Jackals are uncles. Akaashi is always visiting Onigiri Miya and loves to interact with the kids, to the point you've asked if he plans on ever having children because he's so good with them. (He's good at taking care of kids because he's used to taking care of Bokuto).

> I have a feeling one of the kids is going to go into the culinary business. Maybe own a bakery when they're older, showing an interest for baking at such as young age. One of them is of course going to be loving volleyball, with all the volleyball "family" members around them, it's bound to happen. Both of them probably get into volleyball, becoming the new Infamous Miya Twins Duo.

[imgoingtohellsofuckit]

Baby Reid

Spencer Reid x Reader

Summary - Reader finds out she’s pregnant and has to tell Spencer. 

Warning - pregnancy

word count - 3.8k

I’ve been binge watching Criminal Minds and reading hella Spencer fics and I’ve been loving Dad Spencer so here ya go.

"Pregnant?" Y/n looks at the doctor in slight horror. The doctor nods.

"Seems so Miss L/n," The doctor says smiling lightly, "congratulations."

Y/n's eyes drift over to her sister.

"Yeah congrats," Her sister says softly. A light smirk covering her expression.

"How far along?" Y/n asks the doctor.

"8 weeks," The doctor shares, "it's not uncommon to find out around the 4-12 week mark. We recommend doing an ultrasound today. Just to make sure that everything is alright. Is that okay?"

"Sure," Y/n says softly. The doctor nods moving the machine towards the girl. Prepping her for the ultrasound. Y/n's sister takes the girl's hand gently. Trying to offer some sort of support.

"There is the little guy," The doctor says, "and that's the heartbeat."

The faces remain tense. The doctor sighs lightly.

"I can get the ultrasound pictures for you- I'll be right back," They tell the pair of girls before heading out. The second they leave the room Y/n's sister starts.

"Holy crap you're pregnant!"

"Kate shut the hell up," Y/n says harshly, "God you're such a bitch sometimes."

"I mean I'm right," Kate says chuckling lightly, "well how do you feel?"

"Terrified," Y/n sighs.

"How are you gonna tell him?"

"No clue yet," Y/n says softly, "he's supposed to be flying back tonight too. They finished their case earlier than they thought they would..." She fidgets with the edge of her jacket. "What am I even going to tell him?"

"'Hey Spencer turns out you knocked me up,'" Kate says chuckling lightly, "pretty boy couldn't keep his hands to himself. You think with all those FBI cases he'd be too busy to rail you huh?" Y/n rolls her eyes harshly. "Did you at least enjoy your last time with him before you split from hole to hole?"

"Are you really going there?" Y/n asks harshly.

"Always," She says smirking lightly. Y/n scoffs. "Are you okay?"

"Nervous," Y/n says moving her hand over her stomach, "I don't know how I'm going to speak to him about this ya know? We never really had that are we gonna have kids talk? Figured it was after we finished talking about the marriage thing."

"Which you still aren't done with huh?"

"Clearly not Kate considering we haven't gotten anywhere with that," Y/n huffs, "I mean we want to get married- that's as far as we got with looking into our future. I mean he's so busy. He's doing so much with his job right now that planning a wedding in all that is kind of a nightmare ya know." Kate nods lightly. "I mean we've been talking about getting engaged for like almost 8 months now and we haven't even started looking into the whole wedding part of the thing." Y/n looks to her sister at once. "If he can't even stay home long enough to talk to me about the wedding I highly doubt he'll have enough time to worry about a baby-"

"What about that Hotch guy? His boss he has a kid right?"

"Yeah- a kid he never sees and an ex-wife," Y/n says harshly. Kate raises a brow.

"Okay put Spencer isn't Hotch," Kate points out, "he's Spencer. He's different - In a good way. Obviously right."  Y/n's eyes fall to the ground. "He's Spencer he's not going to leave you. You two are joined at the hip."

"How do you talk to people about this stuff?" Y/n asks, "I mean how do you tell someone you've given them 18 years minimum of responsibility-"

"No not you've given him- it takes two," Kate starts at once, "and I'm sure he was all about it."

"You're disgusting."

"But?"

"Of course he's all about it," Y/n says smirking lightly. But it drops immediately. "That's not the point. Jesus, Kate -"

The door opening ends the conversation. The doctor hands over an envelope. "There are the ultrasound pictures and video. We recommend setting up a follow-up appointment at 12 weeks. There is a pamphlet in there that goes other recommended appointments and other tips like foods to avoid all the basics with pregnancy." Y/n nods. "You should be set to go."

The sisters use this to finally leave the hospital. When they reach Kate's car Y/n opens up the envelope to look over the ultrasound photos.

"That's inside of me?" Y/n asks.

"That's what she said-"

"Kate," She says harshly. The sister laughs loudly.

"Fine fine I'll stop," Kate says as she leans over to look at the pictures, "wow it's so small. Kind of blobby looking- I guess it takes time before they get cute huh?" Y/n gives her sister a harsh glance. "Maybe put the pictures in a card? Give him that."

"Yeah, I'm sure that'll go over great," Y/n says. She groans slightly. "What am I gonna do?"

~

"How's your fiancé?"

Spencer looks up from his book to meet the pressing eyes of JJ. She's not trying to push in any regard rather she's just curious. Wondering how the couple was doing with everything. The job is high stress and JJ knows how much that can weigh on the partners.

"Oh Y/n she's alright," Spencer tells his friend, "she hasn't been feeling great the last couple of days. She thinks flu- her symptoms match enough that it could make sense however there hasn't exactly been a fever. But she won't let me close enough to know. She says I get overbearing when she's sick- that I'm not exactly helpful."

"What? No way," Morgan says chuckling lightly looking up from his own book to join the conversation, "I don't believe that."

Spencer smiles lightly. JJ chuckles.

"I can understand what she means," JJ says brightly, "don't take what she said to heart. You know how girls get when they aren't feeling well-"

"Except I don't," Spencer says, "I only really have experience with Y/n I mean before her I never lived with a girl that wasn't related to me."

"Still you know enough from her and the girls here," Morgan says, "I think you've picked up on enough." Spencer disagrees but he doesn't argue. He's a little too busy in his own head to care about Morgan's remarks. He's worried about his girlfriend. He wants to be there for her- even if she wouldn't actually let him near her.

"You alright Spence?" JJ asks.

"I'm fine just worried about Y/n," Spencer admits, "If it's not the flu it could be something else- and she hates the hospital so she's not exactly trying to go to do anything about it. Despite how many facts I give her about how dangerous the flu could actually be." Spencer rambles on. Morgan and JJ exchange an amused look. "That's why she doesn't want me around when she's sick huh?"

"I'd imagine," JJ says.

"You stress her out," Morgan says, "in a time you don't need to stress her out."

"He's wording it harshly," JJ tells Spencer, "you just make it a little bit harder for her when she's already going through it. Don't worry plenty of people do that. It's just cause you are worried about her." JJ gives Spencer a soft smile. Trying to show some support.

"Her sister was supposed to take her to the hospital," Spencer tells them, "but knowing Kate I'm sure that they never actually went."

"Y/n doesn't like hospitals?"

"Not since her dad died," Spencer shares, "it's not the hospital itself but what it represents. It's common for people who lose parents in adolescence to have mild phobias of places like hospitals or police stations." They nod along. Spencer sighs.  "She made that face the first time I told her too. Her words were 'thank you for mansplaining my trauma Spence'." Morgan chuckles lightly.

"Yeah, I can imagine," Emily says, "I don't think anyone would exactly love that."

"Normally my rambling doesn't bother her it was just that time really," Spencer goes on, "her sister hates hospitals as well so I don't know why I let her talk me into letting Kate take her to the hospital."

"Because she's pretty and your whipped," Emily says with a big smirk.

"She's got you there," Morgan says. Spencer chuckles lightly.

He smiles lightly as he looks over to his phone.

"That her?" JJ asks. He moves flipping it open.

"Yeah, she wants to know if she should pick me up or if I'm taking the train," Spencer tells them.

"Anything about the hospital?"

"She didn't say anything about it," Spencer tells them, "how long until we land?"

"2 minutes," Hotch chimes in, "Reid you should make her go to the hospital if she hasn't yet. It could be more than just the flu. You know that."

"I know," Spencer says, "If she hasn't gone today I'll take her for sure." Hotch gives him a careful nod. They start gathering their things. Prepping for the landing.

The second Reid collects his things from the office he meets his fiancé at her car.

"You didn't have to pick me up," Spence says as he and his coworkers file out. His fiancé is leaning against the hood of her car smiling lightly at the man. "You should be in bed resting."

"I got my second wind," Y/n says simply.

"Go to the hospital like a normal person," Garcia says teasing the girl. Y/n chuckles.

"Kate took me to the hospital," Y/n informs the others, "it's just a minor bug. Don't let Spencer get you all worried." JJ exchanges a quick look with Garcia. It goes mostly unnoticed as the others watch as Spencer takes his partner's hand. He pecks her cheek. Making sure not to be too close or too touchy in front of the others. Y/n smiles at her partner. Moving to tuck a piece of his hair behind his ear. "I'm fine Spence."

"Look at how in love they are," Emily teases, "it's disgusting."

"Loverman," Morgan teases.

"Classy," Spencer says, "if you guys are done harassing me and my girlfriend I'll see you guys tomorrow."

"Bye Guys it was nice to see you again," Y/n says brightly. Hiding her nerves slightly. As they climb into the car she looks over to her partner. Her mood ever so slightly dropping. If Reid wasn't a profiler he wouldn't have picked up on it. However, in his line of work, he was able to read people like a book- even if he missed slight social cues.

"You alright?" He asks. Y/n keeps her eyes focused on the road. "Did I do something?"

"Spence you didn't do anything," She says softly, "I'm fine. Just a little stressed babe." His eyes don't move off of the girl. He's watching her so intently. Clearly using his work skills in an attempt to read the girl. "Stop profiling me, Spencer."

"I'm sorry," He says apologetically. She chuckles lightly. Moving to pull his hand into hers. Pecking it lightly.

"Spencer my love you didn't do anything," She says sweetly, "I'm simply working through some things. We all have our moments."

"We should work through things together," Spencer starts, "We're a couple."

"I'm aware we're a couple, Spencer," She says giving him a quick glance, "I know we should work through stuff together but you know sometimes we have things we aren't ready to talk about yet." He looks over nervously. "You didn't do anything... What do you think you did?"

"I don't know what I did," He says honestly, "I just didn't know if I said something wrong or did something wrong."

"No, you didn't do anything," Y/n assures him, "listen I've just been thinking today... Do you still want to get married?"

"Yes of course," He says, "I know we've had a problem planning everything but I still want to get married. Do you?"

"I want to get married," She says.

He nods.

"So what got you thinking about it?" He asks, "I mean you don't typically get worried about this stuff."

"I've been thinking a lot about the future-"

"Uh oh."

"It's nothing to be worried about Spencer," She says as she tries to focus her eyes on the road. "I'm just trying to think about things you know. You're in the FBI, you work a lot and I stay behind a lot. It works out fine now- but that kinda stress ruins relationships."

"What are you talking about?"

"50% of marriages end in divorce Spencer," She goes on, "do you ever think about that? I mean we both come from broken homes. Is there a point in all this?"

"What are you saying?" Spencer asks. Clear distress in his voice. "are you trying to break up with me?"

"NO no!" She exclaims, "I'm not trying to break up with you actually the complete opposite. I'm just being cynical because I'm scared."

"You aren't making any sense," Spencer says softly.

"I don't know how to say it, Spence," She says quietly. She sighs. Thankful to see their apartment. "Maybe we should have this conversation inside."

"Are we fighting?"

"We aren't fighting Spencer," She says as she climbs from the car, "come on."

"Seems like we are about to fight," Spencer says under his breath. She sighs taking his hand. Leading him through the hallway to get to their apartment. Once inside she moves into Spencer's arms. Helping him shove off his bag. "Woah that was a dramatic shift-"

"I want to spend the rest of my life with you," She says as she cups his cheek. He seems very clearly confused. "Don't twist my words. That's not me confessing to trying to run away or anything. Okay?" He nods lightly. "How was your day?"

"You're deflecting- how bad was the hospital?" Spencer starts. Worry filling his expression. "Are you okay?" She chuckles lightly.  "Why are you laughing?"

"Spencer, what are you thinking?"

"Somethings wrong- you're sick," He starts, "are you?"

"No," She says simply. She pulls her hands away from him. "I started thinking about our future today- because when I went to the hospital they realized my symptoms aren't flu. They ran a bunch of tests. Trying to figure it out." His face is coated in worry.

"Y/n?"

"Have you ever thought about having kids?" She asks. His eyes scan every inch of her face.

"No, not really," He admits, "why-" His eyes widen. "Are you?"

"Spencer I'm pregnant," She says softly. He seems scared. She moves to cup his cheeks. He looks like he's gonna pass out. He pulls back. Moving to sit on the couch. He's just staring past her. A whirlwind of emotions across his face.  "I'm pregnant... Spencer say something." He doesn't. He looks up at her. "Spencer how dare this be the time you are speechless."

"How-how far along?"

"8 weeks," She tells him.

"I'm gonna be a dad," He says softly. He meets her eyes. A slight smile across his face. "I'm gonna be a dad."

"Yeah," She chuckles. He moves to wrap his arms around her. Holding on carefully. As he pulls back he moves his hand down onto her stomach. As if he could already feel the baby. "We are gonna be parents." He chuckles. A big smile across their faces. "Is that okay?"

"Yes that's okay," He says brightly, "more than okay."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah," He says brightly.

She moves pulling the envelope from her purse. Handing the pictures over to Spencer. He looks over them brightly.

"Cool right?" She asks.

"Yeah- you know the ultrasound is actually sound waves the frequencies are higher than the upper audible limit of human hearing," Spencer starts, "Ultrasounds in this form is actually called acoustic microscopy-" He stops as he meets her eyes. "We're gonna have a baby."

"Kate says that we'll have really cute kids," She says as he looks back down to the pictures, "she wants them to have your eyes."

"Why?"

"She likes your eyes more than mine apparently," She shrugs, "I think the baby will be cute either way." He nods lightly. She moves beside him to look at the picture. "it's so little."

"Rough weights .04 ounces and measures about .63 inches," Spencer says, "about the size of a raspberry."

"A raspberry?" She says as she moves her hand down to her stomach. "That's so small. Kind of hard to believe." He chuckles. "Can I see your hand?" He nods. She moves to place his hand on her stomach. "When they did the ultrasound the baby was right here- I know we can't feel anything but-" He nods lightly. "Spencer?"

"Yeah baby?"

"Are you really happy about this?"

"Yes I'm actually happy about this- I mean I'm nervous sure terrified even but I'm happy," Spencer assures her, "am I not supposed to be?"

"No no that's not what I meant- I mean I was so scared to tell you I didn't want you to feel trapped or that I ruined your life-"

"Ruined my life?" Spencer asks, "you've made my life a hundred times better- and sure this wasn't planned but it doesn't mean I'm not excited... It brings up practical problems like we don't have the space here- so we'll have to look at new place. Child care when we both are working. Do we want to look at nannies or daycares? But I figured we could worry about the questions later. That now we should just be excited." She smiles lightly. "I don't feel trapped either- I mean kids is a natural progression of things and we've mentioned wanting them before."

"Yeah but out of nowhere like this it can make you feel a little trapped-"

"Around 9 out of 100 women would become pregnant in a year of taking the pill- it's only 91% effective," Spencer starts, "in general unplanned pregnancies' are fairly common in long term relationships where the women is on the pill. We knew it was possible."

"Possible and it happening are two separate things-"

"You were nervous so you created reasons on why I'd be upset," Spencer says, "you wanted me to be upset."

"No- Spencer stop profiling me," She says at once.

"It's not profiling," Spencer says, "I'm not mad- or upset. I'm happy. Stop trying to make that a bad thing."

"I'm not making it a bad things," She sighs, "I was just worried you'd be upset. I'm glad you aren't. Makes me feel a whole lot better." He nods. Moving to take his fiancés hands "This will be a fun change from looking at wedding things... Now we get to look at a new place... House or another apartment?"

"I enjoy apartment life but space wise it would make more sense to look at houses," Spencer says. Y/n nods clearly satisfied with that answer. She smiles as she drags her partner towards the couch. "You eat yet?"

"No not yet wanna order something?"

"Sure," Spencer says as he grabs his phone to dial one of the takeout places. "Got a preference?"

"No I'm sure you can pick for us," She says as she grabs her laptop, "3 bedroom?"

"3?"

"Office space maybe," She starts, "library space? Huge walk in closet- you could have a nice tie wall." Spencer chuckles loudly. "Extra space in general pretty boy." He chuckles. "I think I found a place- look at this cute huh?"

"You're getting a little ahead of yourself-"

"Always Dr. Reid," She says brightly. He smiles. "I hope the baby has your smile."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah you have a cute smile."

"You have a cute smile too," Spencer says as he moves his arm around his wife, "Thai sound good?"

"Thai sound great," She says, "and thanks love." He moves reciting their order like he's done hundreds of times. She moves looking through the houses.

Despite all her original fears. It went right. Spencer was happy to hear about a baby. Excited even. It was working out for her.

"Thanks," Spencer says, "40 minutes."

"We should hold off on telling anyone until I tell my mom," She says, "and we should plan to go see yours." Spencer tenses lightly. "I think she should hear this in person."

"Alright I'll look at weekends I can take off," Spencer starts, "we can fly out then."

"In the meantime I need you to keep this on the down low," Y/n tells him, "don't go sharing this around. I don't need the entire FBI to know before I even get to tell my mom." He nods lightly. "But I know they are your family- so you can tell them after Friday. That good enough for you?"

"Perfect with me," Spencer says.

She smiles pulling him into a quick kiss. She knew they would be fine.

Bonus

The next day Spencer could hardly keep the dopey smile off of his face. Everyone knew something was going on. They weren't trying to press too much. But ultimately Spencer let it out on his own.

"What is Reid over there reading?" JJ asks as she leans closer to Emily. The girls try looking over the desk to see the man holding his book. Clearly trying to be discreet. He placed the book on his desk hoping to cover the book's title.

"Here is the best way to find out," Emily says standing from her desk. She moves pulling the book from his hand.

"Hey give that back!" Spencer exclaims.

"'What to expect when you're expecting a guide for new parents' You're having a baby!"

"What?!" JJ exclaims rushing towards them, "you and Y/n are expecting! Oh, that's amazing!"

"We haven't told anyone yet so keep it quiet-"

"Why are you three screaming?" Morgan asks as he and Garcia gather, "it's way too early for that."

"Reid's gonna be a dad," Emily says with a smirk.

"You knocked her up!" Garcia exclaims, "awe genius babies!"

"My man I didn't think you had it in you," Morgan says with a cocky smirk, "nice one Pretty boy."

"We were supposed to be keeping it quiet," Spencer says clearly getting annoyed with the others. He reaches to grab the book from Emily. However, she yanks it back. "Well so much for waiting til friday- any chance we can at least keep this from Hotch and Rossi? Make it seem like I tried not to get it out."

"What are you hiding from us?" Hotch asks firmly. He and Rossi were walking down from their offices.

"Baby Reid is own it's way," Garcia announces.

"Or let's tell Hotch and Rossi," Spencer says, "why listen to me huh?"

"Sorry Reid," Garcia says, "it's just too exciting! A baby!"

"Congratulations Reid," Hotch says, "how far along is she?"

"8 months," Spencer tells them, "she just found out yesterday."

"Solved the mystery illness," Rossi says.

"Yeah," Spencer says, "like I was telling them Y/n and I were trying to keep it under wraps because she hasn't told her mom yet- Then Prentiss and JJ decided they needed to know what I was reading-"

"You were being suspicious Reid," Emily says in her own defense, "And I was curious." Reid rolls his eyes. "You know the gender yet?"

"I'm done talking about this," Reid says as he yanks the book away from Emily, "I've got reports to work on."

"He's right everyone should get back to work," Hotch says forcefully. Spencer sighs as he looks back to his book. He slips something from the page he left off on. The ultrasound picture. He smiles lightly.

[comfyswitcherblanketfort]

A Good Deal

lets not talk about what day it was bogizens... 👀 this is part of the hallmark june weddings event we did in the bog!  

it’s also on ao3 here!

Warnings: insecure eskel, stressed triss, honestly its pretty fluffy., could be classified as mild emotional whump.

_____________

Triss was frantic when Eskel trudged up the stairs to the back door in the kitchen. He paused for a moment, leaning against the railing where he could just see her through the window in the door, box braids falling out of her loose bun, some sort of sauce smudged on her forehead, her arm muscles standing out and furiously beating the ever-loving shit out of whatever was in her bowl. Fuck, he thought she was the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen. A little scary too, but that was his type.

“Afternoon, Gorgeous,” he called through the screen door, waiting for her to unlock it.

Instead of her normal ‘Afternoon, Handsome,’ he got a snappy, “If any bit of your clothing has been at the fire station, take it off out there. I just got the floors clean, and I don’t have time to do them again before the wedding.”

“If you wanted a striptease you could have just asked,” he chuckled, pulling his shirt over his head and kicking his boots off. All of him had just come from the station.

“Eskel, please,” her voice was about an octave higher than when he liked to hear those words normally, and the tightness at the end of her words made him worried.

“I’m clean, ish, can I come in?”

When she let him in she only gave him a quick peck before it was back to what Eskel could now see were egg whites.

“What’s wrong?”

That was apparently the wrong question. Triss dropped the bowl back onto the counter and braced herself against it, hanging her head. Her shoulders looked so tense Eskel thought the muscles might snap, “Fucking everything. Yen’s parents are getting in tomorrow and I only have the middle floor flipped because Annalee called in sick and Taylor is nowhere to be found, and I have to get this breakfast prepped because I have to make sure there’s food for the girls to eat while they get ready. Then I still have to call Jaskier and see when he’s bringing the cake and décor over and I have to run into the store to get the food for the next three days while they’re here and one of Yen’s aunt’s is allergic to everything under the fucking sun! Oh! And I also need to tell Jask to do everything last minute as far as the cake goes because I don’t have the fridge space and-and there’s still a goddamned molehill in the backyard where they’re having the ceremony and-“

Eskel wrapped his arms around her from behind, placing one hand over her sternum and one over her stomach, and held her tight while he whispered, “It’s gonna be okay. We’ll figure it out. Just take a minute to breathe for me?”

She took a shuddering deep breath and let it out as she rested her head back against his chest, brushing a stray braid out of her eyes, “…and I have a headache…”

“That,” Eskel mumbled, pausing to press a kiss to her forehead, “we can fix quickly.” He pulled them over to her medicine cabinet and handed her some ibuprofen and a large glass of water, also insisting she sit and eat something.

After a minute or two of Triss picking at some leftover pasta salad she groaned and shoved it away, “ and my mother called.”

“How’re Sheila and the dogs?”

“Fucking unbearable,” she grumbled, pitching her voice up and scrunching her nose to imitate her mother’s nasally voice, “ When are you settling down? I was so excited when you said wedding! Haven’t you hired an inn manager yet? Why do you still clean rooms? Did you read that diet book I sent you?”

Pushing her pasta back towards her after the last question, Eskel did his best to remain casual and calm, “I thought she hated me?”

“She hates all of my partners on principle, but you’ve made the top spot for ‘least hated’,” Triss shot him a little smirk as she aggressively stabbed some more pasta, “I told her I’m quite settled and we’re happy for now and to get her nose out of other people’s business- yes I see the irony .”

Eskel forced a bit of a laugh and tried not to bite his lip. He’d been thinking about this since Yen and Renfri’s engagement party. The way Triss looked at him while the couple gushed about how they were so excited to spend the rest of their lives together (and torment some relatives with making it official) had settled in the back of his mind and refused to leave. Every day, he flip-flopped on whether there was a little hope there or if she just thought it was sweet. And every day he berated himself for not bringing it up, but he had never even entertained the idea of marriage. Hell, his main relationship had been a friends-with-benefits arrangement with Geralt, and the few before that had been rocky at best. He wasn’t cut out to be a husband. Certainly not to someone so kind and gentle and fiercely loyal and sharp as Triss. What did he have to offer? A dangerous job and nasty burn scars for their wedding photos?

She must have sensed his hesitation and pushed her pasta over to him, “Eat. I need to keep cooking… and clean the top floor.”

He hooked an arm around her waist as she walked around the little kitchen island they sat at, pulling her close and stealing the keys out of her pocket, “I’ll go get groceries after I clean the top floor. Is the laundry started?”

“You’re too good to me, Teddy Bear,” she sighed, placing a kiss on his forehead.

“Not good enough.”

She frowned, resting her palm over his jaw and searching his eyes, “We’ll come back to that when the inn is ready.”

As he stood, he stole a quick kiss and darted up the stairs, “You’re taking a nap when the inn is ready!”

-

It had all come together in the end. Triss even got some impressed looks and glowing reviews from Yennefer’s family when they arrived. The periwinkle went beautifully with the gardenia Triss had woven through the lattice around the backyard and Eskel had managed to make the moles disappear and patch the grass so even she couldn’t tell where they’d been.

Eskel watched Triss dart around the property, even after her job was done, making sure everyone was comfortable and everything ran smoothly for the girls and as much as he tried to push it down, he was just reminded of how she deserved so much more. More than a scarred, overweight firefighter with a killer therapy bill and a studio apartment that looked more like a hotel room than a home.

As he was watching the different couples swooping around the tiny courtyard dance floor, hands materialized on his shoulders, immediately digging in right where he held tension.

“Now it’s really over,” Triss whispered in his ear.

“Oh? Will you take that nap now?” Eskel shot her a grin over his shoulder as he covered one of her hands with his.

She smiled at him as if he’d said something adorably cute and inaccurate, “I’ll take a dance ?”

Standing up and spinning Triss once before pulling her close to his side, Eskel sighed, “I guess I’ll have to settle for that then.”

Giggling a tad bit deliriously, they made their way onto the dance floor and snuck into a space between the other couples. Eskel did his best to relax and stay in the moment. He took deep breaths and mentally listed little observations about his surroundings, most of which revolved around Triss, and he even tried to distract himself by making some rather suggestive advances, but no matter what he tried, he was still thinking about what she deserved and how it was everything he wasn’t.

Triss rested her hand on his cheek and gave him her trademarked wide-eyed worried look, “Are you alright? Is your knee acting up?”

“M’fine,” he lied, “Just the champagne.”

“Bullshit.”

He should have known she’d call him on it, even in the middle of a wedding she wouldn’t let him get away with anything. Just another reason he wasn’t good enough for her.

Glancing around nervously, Eskel whispered in her ear, “Can we do this later?”

“Absolutely not. You’ve been acting strange for weeks now and it’s making me crazy,” Triss tapped on the point of his chin firmly, calling his attention back to her as they swayed and stepped in a small circle like everyone else.

“Been making me crazy too…” he mumbled, only receiving a furious glare that urged him to continue, “You’re… Triss you’re perfect. I love you more than anything and anyone I’ve ever loved before…”

Tears welled in her eyes as Triss brought them to a standstill, gripping his arms for dear life, “But?”

Eskel couldn’t help tucking her long thin braids behind her ear and caressing her cheek, “But I don’t know why you’re with me. Every time this wedding gets brought up I think about how you deserve someone so much more… whole than I am. Someone who can give you what you want and who doesn’t have a horribly dangerous job and doesn’t look like the Pillsbury doughboy…”

“First off,” Triss started, almost growling as she dragged him off the dance floor and in through the back door to the kitchen, “I thought you were breaking up with me so please lead with what you’re nervous about next time,” Eskel followed, absolutely dumbfounded as he was sat down on a stool like he was in trouble with the principal, “Second, I find your extra weight sexy as hell- no arguments! That is my opinion and it is final . Third- and this one is important- you are the most thoughtful, caring, kind, and gentle person I have ever had the absolute pleasure to share a room with, let alone sleep with. I decided you’re what I wanted a long time ago. No one else has ever told me to take a nap before” she giggled, pausing to hold his face between her hands, “You don’t need to be anything other than you for me to be happy.”

She wiped a tear from his cheek with her knuckles, a fond smile playing on her lips as she drew him in, hugging him tightly so his head rested on her shoulder. His arms wrapped around her waist and squeezed like he was scared she might disappear if he didn’t hold her tight enough.

“Thank you,” He whispered.

“You’re welcome,” Triss whispered back, trailing her nails over his scalp and through his soft hair, “Anytime you need a reminder you tell me. Deal?”

Eskel sniffed and pulled himself back together, leaning back to give Triss a quick kiss, “Deal.”

[stxrrywildflower]

can’t help falling in love (two)

pairing - george weasley x reader

summary - you invite george to be your date to your sisters wedding

warnings - mentions of family/home issues

word count - 1.9k

series masterlist

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

traveling by the floo was always a surprise.

you’ve only ever used the system twice in the past; both times being to get from your home to the weasley’s. you almost always ended up there during the different breaks scattered throughout the year.

it only took a few seconds for you to reach your desired destination, the floo usually worked okay with minimal issues.

you stepped out of the fireplace first, feet hitting the living room hard as you stumbled slightly.

george made his way out right after you. his lanky body made it a little more difficult for him to get out of the sizeably smaller fireplace than the one back at school.

“blimey love, you okay?”

“i’m here on one piece so i guess so,” you answered. “you?”

“same,” george replied.

it took a few moments for you and george to adjust to your surroundings before you could actually take in everything.

you were alone in your living room, no one occupying any of the various chairs or couches. the rest of the house was quiet as well. a wave of confusion washed over you. where was your entire family?

“what’s this?” george asked. your bags had been abandoned on the floor the second george had noticed the various muggle trinkets and machinery around the room.

“that’s a television georgie, we watch programs on it. i can show you later if you want,” you offered. george beamed at your response, already jumping up to look at the next item.

of course he still didn’t notice the very apparent lack of people.

but it was still pretty sweet to see him so excited over the things you grew up with. it was no secret arthur was into muggle tech but seeing the interest spark in george was something special.

“merlin, is this baby you?” george held up one of the framed photos that normally sat on the bookshelf. you snatched it away from him in an instant. “yeah no you aren’t seeing that,” you answered. george held his smile to himself. “i’m sure your mum will show me some later.”

commotion was clearly heard from the outside of your home just as you set the photo back down.

“come on, i think my family’s in the backyard,” you informed george. “but uh just be warned, they can be a bit much, my sister especially.”

george nodded. “i’ll be nice but if they say anything rude, i’ll slip them a puking pastille fred and i made.”

you smiled at that. “thanks georgie.”

“so, are you ready to head out? or do you want to see some more things in here?”

george took note right away of your stalling. there was a strong guarantee that the second he gave his answer, no matter yes or no, you would retaliate with something else   

“do you have a bathroom i can use really quick?” george figured that it would be most beneficial for you to go out alone before he was introduced, especially due to his affiliation as your date.

“yeah i can take you there now,” you spoke before adding a “someone’s got a weak bladder.” he rolled his eyes at your joke.

george followed you around the house like a lost puppy. he didn’t know where to go or the layout of the home and certainly didn’t want to leave your side. you promised him a tour later once everything calmed down.

“bathroom’s right here. meet me outside when your finished.”

you then maneuvered your way down the hallway until you reached the door leading to the outside.

“hello,” you spoke as you stepped out, already fiddling with your hands out of pure nervousness.

“y/n!” your family had exclaimed once they saw you.

you stepped out onto the deck alone, shifting slightly uncomfortably under all of their gazes.

your mum and dad were the first ones up. you accepted their only slightly awkward hugs before leaning back against the railing once more. your grandfather was next, his expression a lot more excited. he was always a lot more comfortable with the magic thing, he had married another witch after all.

“cressida, greet your sister,” your mum had spoken to your sister  

“of course she’s in her school uniform. couldn’t even change for the occasion could you?” your sister spat without warning.

“good to see you too cress,” you mumbled as you looked down at your attire. since you and george had come directly from school, you still had to use your uniforms when taking the floo. as much as you wanted to say her sudden words were a shock, they really weren’t.

“where’s grammy?” you questioned.

“out at the store,” your grandfather answered. “she’ll be back soon i’m sure. i know she’s buzzing to see you.”

a smile passed over your face at that just as the entire group outside went quiet once more. you were not about to start a conversation nor did anyone else make the first initiatation.

“so y/n,” your dad started. “how’s school going?”

“oh no dad i don’t think we should talk about-” you were cut off by the door opening. you let out a breath. ‘saved by the bell’ you thought to yourself.

george stepped out on the deck, greeting you with a warm smile before making his way over to where you stood. his hand snakes around you to rest on the railing.

“everyone, this is george,” you introduced, motioning for him to step forward. “george this is my mum, dad, grandfather, and then cressida or the bride-to-be.”

george shook each of their hands respectfully. you were already quirking your eyebrow at his sudden manners. usually by now someone had some prank played on them, especially when george met new people.

“so this is the boy you brought home. i’m so glad to meet my daughters boyfriend,” your mom beamed. “we don’t know a lot about her life at school but i’m glad to finally be meeting you. how long have you two been together?”

you paled. not once did you think your family would assume the two of you were together. you didn’t even prep or have time to make up a story.

george smirked at your near panicked expression. “since the beginning of this year. so that’s what, seven months? but we’ve been friends since first year,” he answered cooley.

you faked a yawn, wanting to get out of the conversation before your mum could come up with questions george couldn’t answer off the top of his head.

“oh dear, you two must be exhausted from your trip. you two are upstairs in your old bedroom. everything’s already ready with your bedsheets and setup. feel free to take a nap before dinner tonight.”

“thank you mrs. y/l/n,” george thanked before turning to you. “ready to go love?”

you nodded, “yeah let’s go.”

the two of you headed back inside. george stopped back in the living room to pick up your bags before meeting you again. he followed you up the stairs and down the hall towards you room which, thankfully, was away from the other rooms on the floor giving you at least a little bit of privacy.

“i hope you don’t mind sharing a bed,” you spoke as you twisted the doorknob.

“you’re joking,” george groaned when he saw the room. “how are we supposed to fit?”

“george come on, it’s fine. this bed is barely bigger than a twin, i’m sure we can squeeze. it’s not the first time we’ve shared anyway.”

“not the first time?”

you took your bag out of george’s hands and placed it in the corner. normally you wouldn’t unpack for such a short weekend but you abe clothes that needed to be hung up to prevent wrinkles.

“don’t you remember the burrow last break?” you questioned. “you and fred almost blew up your room and then molly kicked you out so your room could air out. take a guess where you ended up.”

george grinned at the memory. “ah yeah i remember that. we did make some really good whiz-bangs though. and hey, we only shared because you were sleeping in percy’s old room and he has a bigger bed. when was the second time?”

“after hogsmeade,” you answered. “you thought it would be so funny to push me into the snow only to realize way too late that it was a half-frozen puddle and i got soaked.”

“and then you sat in between fred and i by the fire to warm up,” george finished the story. “yeah that was funny.”

you rolled your eyes. “maybe you should unpack instead of dwelling on my suffering.”

“alright sounds good, girlfriend,” george made sure to add extra emphasis on the final word.

“don’t think you’re off the hook for what you did.”

“and what is that exactly?”

you let out a huff, throwing the shirt you were folding down. it was beyond annoying that george was completely going around the situation.

“george, what were you thinking? i didn’t even think my family would conclude that we were together. why would you say we were dating? seriously, in what world would that be a good idea to tell them that. merlin, everything’s already going wrong.”

“love it’s fine, trust me.”

“it really isn’t,” you groaned, moving your hands up to run through your hair.

“why is this such a problem to you? babes, you invited me to be your date.”

of course george was already starting on the pet names. “don’t you think this is a little weird? i mean what if there’s mistletoe?” you questioned.

george broke out in a short fit of laughter. you frowned, visibly upset at your friends approach to the situation.

“it’s the middle of april. i doubt there’s going to be any mistletoe. besides, we only have to play the part for less then three days. we won’t do anything that makes each other uncomfortable, okay?”

you nodded. you had to admit, george’s words did bring you some comfort. “alright fine, but don’t expect anything from me.”

“well what about cuddling? i mean we are sharing a bed after all.”

you threw a shirt at him. “we’ll talk later weasley. i still need to explain how a muggle wedding works.”

you and george unpacked in sync while you went over everything he would need to know for the weekend.

he seemed to get everything with minimal questions. george seemed especially excited about the wedding reception.

“wait so i need a suit?”

“yeah but i already have you covered. my dad has something that’s your size,” you explained. “what about your dress?” george asked.

“oh don’t worry about that, it’s a surprise,” you beamed. “cress and i aren’t close enough for me to be in her bridal party so i can pretty much wear what i want.”

george nodded. “sounds good. what’s the plan for today and tomorrow again?”

“we have dinner at eight with my entire family tonight. my sisters fiancé jasper will be there too. he’s a lot nicer than her and actually understands, to an extent, me being a witch,” you spoke. “and then we have to be at the wedding venue by four tomorrow and the reception starts at nine.”

“is your grandmother going to be at dinner tonight? i haven’t seen her in awhile.”

you hummed. “oh yeah she’ll be thrilled to see you. don’t be surprised if she mixes you up with fred though.”

george shrugged, a slight frown on his face. “eh it’s fine. it happens all the time.”

a genuine yawn escaped your lips after he finished his thought. “tired?” george inquired. “i didn’t really sleep well last night, too stressed,” you revealed.

“why don’t you lay down and rest for a bit. i have something to work on in the meantime,” george offered. you raised your eyebrows. “and what is that?”

“just a new prank. i don’t want to give too much away but it’s going to be really good.”

you shrugged. “okay, just don’t blow up my room please,” you added. you shrugged off your robes, folding them up to place in your suitcase as you grabbed a pair of more casual clothes.

“i’ll be right back, i’m going to get changed.”

you returned a moment later, tossing the rest of your uniform in your suitcase. “comfy?” george asked, motioning down to your new attire. “very,” you answered as you headed over to the bed.

george leaned down to press his lips to your temple after you got under the covers. “sleep well love.”

your cheeks flushed at the platonic gesture. “thank you.”

george waited a few minutes before he looked at you again, feeling an overwhelming sense of protectiveness as you slept. you were his best friend. it wasn’t strange to feel like that...right?

⌢⌢⌢⌢⌢⌢⌢⌢⌢⌢⌢⌢

tagging: @goldenxreid @wilburxpancakes @blakeprentiss @criminaly-supernatural @blakes-dictionxry @mrs-dr-reid @weasleytwinsfav

[omg-im-such-a-masochist]

A NEW EXPERIENCE

Prompt: You and Roman have been together for 7 years now,and on the night of your 5th year wedding anniversary,you have a new way to demonstrate your love for him

Word count: Uh girl,grab a snack ‘cuz this one is long!

Pairing: Roman Reigns x Reader

Warnings: +18 smut,cursing,slight self-degradation,fluff(at the end),a lot of intimacy and Tantric Massage(yes,you’ve heard it right 😉)

A little disclaimer,before we continue: Tantra is a middle eastern (more precisely Indian) philosophy and spiritual path,the tantric massage itself is a wonderful experience that DOES NOT involves any sort of sexual interaction such as penetration or masturbation!Yes it does involve yoni/lingam massage(vagina/penis massage) but the whole goal of it it’s not orgasm/ejaculation.It can happen of course,’cuz we’re humans but if it can it has to be delayed/controlled since that’s not a goal to be reached,it’s a full body experience and a deeper self connection and healing journey.So if someday you reach out a PROFESSIONAL for this especific massage,keep all this things in mind,please.The only reason I’ve included sex on this it’s because the characters in this story are married and got carried away(also because,it’s Roman I mean,who wouldn’t?). Also they don’t live the Tantra as a philosophy or spiritual path at all! It’s just a new way of working they intimacy together as a couple.It is NOT my intention to degrade ANY form of philosophy/spiritual path from anyone’s beliefs,this is for entertainment purposes only,and also a new way for me to write about new/different themes(or personal study topics of mine) for my stories. I have a deep love for middle eastern cultures and an even deeper love for studying different types of philosophy/spiritual paths.

Tag: My soul sister @ziasaph

Notes: Y’all know the drill loves,sorry for misspellings,english isn’t my first language (bla bla bla),check out my other stories if you’d like to(it would make your girl here very happy 😊) and if you’re comfortable with it,please let me know what you think? Some feedback is always welcomed and appreciated ❤️You can check out my other stories typing ‘masochist writes’ on the search bar on my page and my newest story as a fixed post.

Okay,now let’s get to the fun part,shall we? Hope you’ll enjoy 😉

Today’s my 5th year wedding anniversary with my lovely husband,Roman.We’ve been together for 7 years now.The first time I met him,I gotta say, I hated him! There was something about him that screamed trouble.He was too good to be true,I mean,he was incredibly handsome,polite,thoughtful,kind,loving,funny,intelligent,respectful(a true gentleman really),the best kiss I’ve ever had and don’t even get me started on this man’s bedroom skills...No man ever fucked me like that,no man ever cared much more about my pleasure than with he’s own,no man could make me feel like a goddess the way he could..you see what I mean?He couldn’t be an honest good man right?!And I knew better!Oh I really did..I’ve always had a “rotten finger” when it came to my men choices.If you putted me in a room with two guys,a truly good man and a shitty asshole,I would’ve had 100% chose the latter.Maybe for the “fun” of it or even just to prove my Freudian fate,who knows?

But when I decided to finally give in to the Samoan’s charm and accepted to finally officially date him,I discovered why he smelled like trouble,because as soon as I found out I was in love with him I knew I had lost my whole heart to that man!And if you came from a emocional troubled background,like I did,you know that that’s the worst case scenario one could ever have.But funny enough,despite my deepest fears,he changed my whole world,he dragged me out of the shit pit I’ve always lived in and pushed me into the light beside him,making me forget everything bad that ever happened to me,transforming my reality into the fairytale I could never had imagined.If you told me,7 years ago,that right now I would be here telling you this same story,I would have have bitterly laughed at your face and asked you to give me a hit of whatever it is that you had.

But here I am,finishing to set up one of our guests room for the surprise I had in mind for my husband.I’m sure that this will never repay him for the way he always made me feel,but at least I hope he can have a bit of a glimpse of how much I truly love and care for him.

I was lighting up the last pair of candles when I heard the front door open,his deep sigh and the loud thump of his bags dropping on the living room floor.

“Y/N,baby girl? You home?” That voice alone could bring the biggest,truthful smile upon my lips.I put the lighter on my jacket’s pocket,carefully closing the guest room door and I ran downstairs to meet my redemption in form of a man.

“Roman!” I squealed while I preceded to jump on his arms and wrap my legs around his waist,kissing him like I would never see him again.

“Wow!” He chuckled “I see someone missed me those 3 weeks,huh?!” Still laughing,he wrapped his big arms around my waist and retributed my kiss vigorously.

“Of course I missed you baby!You’re my Samoan Prince Charming,how could I not miss that?!”I laughed.

“Prince Charming,huh?!”He chuckled “You wait ‘til you see what I wanna do to you...I’m pretty sure you’re gonna change your mind from prince charming to tramp real quick!”He smirks and I can already feel my panties getting damp with excitement.

“Oh really,big guy?! Well I’m sorry,but I’m about to piss in your yard and ruin your dreams!’Cuz I already have a surprise for you,and that took a lot of prep time too,so as much as I would love to see what you have in mind that will have to wait,at least ‘til later.”

“Piss in my yard?!Oh baby girl,always so delicate with your words!”He laughed

“What? I’m expressive,you know that!Also if anyone here is the well mannered,polite and posh one that’s you,I’m just you know,rough street trash”.I bitterly said

“Hey!Don’t say that,please.You know that I don’t like when you degradate yourself like that.You’re not trash,you’re my everything!And let’s be honest here baby, I love your rough side..”He squeezed my ass,to prove his point.

“If you keep doing that, I’m gonna get all worked up,and you’re going to ruin my surprise...” I whispered

“Ok,ok.I stopped!”He chuckled,then gave me a light peck on the lips before lowering me down to the ground.”So what do you have planned?”

“You know it’s called surprise for a reason right?!”I said.

“Oh c’mon Y/N! Not even a little preview baby?” He gave me those beautiful puppy eyes,and the bastard knew that I would give in.

“Argh,you’re the worst!”I faked an annoyed face,but he knew I was pretending so he just smiled and I couldn’t help but smile back.”Ok the only,ONLY thing I will tell you is that it involves a large amount of intimacy..I’ve never done that to anyone before..and it’s an incredible experience.That’s all I’m saying!”I proudly huffed.He stared at my face for an eternity before he slowly smirked at me saying “You do realize that you said you were going to tell me just ONE thing about it,but you ended up telling me THREE instead,right?!” He started laughing when I poked his broad chest saying “Shut up! You know,you’re lucky I love you,because otherwise I would just kick your ass right now.”I tried to hold back my laugh,but that soon was forgotten when he kissed my lips so slowly and sweet and said “I don’t have a doubt you could kiss my ass at anytime baby.” He lazily smiled at me,before his expression turned more serious. “I love you Y/N so fucking much!” He caresses my face before continuing “I’m so happy I could take a few days off to be with you,to celebrate the 7 years we’ve been together..and the many more years yet to come” He pecked my lips lightly “I could never have asked for a better woman,wife,best friend,lover,supporter..my own personal safe harbor.” He shyly smiled at me and pressed our foreheads together,and I couldn’t help the tears escaping through my eyes.

“Oh baby girl, I didn’t meant to make you cry!” He said

“Those are happy tears I promise!” I sighed “Besides,I feel bad that I can’t say such beautiful things to you,I’m sorry baby,that you got the product made with a broken mold” I sadly sighed.

“Hey,I already told you to stop saying those bad things about yourself! Also you don’t have to apologize,I know everything you went through and it’s normal for someone in your position to be a little careful when showing your fellings,and trust me babe, I don’t need your words to know that you love me,your actions already do the job!” The smile he gave me was so sincere that reached his eyes.And I really hope that my actions tonight will prove his statement to be right.

“So,when do you plan on giving me my surprise?” He asked with a sparkle in his eyes.And I couldn’t help but chuckle.

“Well the first thing I need to know is if you’re already fed?”

“Yep! I stopped by a cafe on my way home and ate something light,like you asked me to”. He responded

“Good!Now I’m gonna need you to take a shower so you can wash away the tiredness of your flight,towel yourself dry,but don’t put any clothes on I’m gonna need you naked for this.” He maliciously smirked at me.

“You need me naked,huh?” He licked his lips “Ok,sounds like a great surprise so far..”

“Yes it is! And if I were you, I would hurry up..”

With that he ran off to the bathroom like a little boy,and a few seconds later I could hear the water running.

As soon as I finished stripping the last piece of clothing off my body,I heard the bathroom door open and Roman call for me.

“I’m in the guest room.The one near the stairs.” A few seconds later, I see him entering the room.

“Wow,this looks beautiful!” Since we never used that room as a guest room,it didn’t had a bed(which helped a lot) I just cleaned the hardwood floor,placed a big extra thick(about 40mm) yoga exercise mat in the center of the room,a lot of candles(some were sandalwood scented,but not many,so it doesn’t get too nauseating.Just enough to give that relaxing feeling),some rose petals around the floor, a few cozy cushions around the yoga mat and a little low table with one massage candle and a large thermical water bottle(to keep the water cold and fresh).It wasn’t much but it did look cozy and spa like.

“Did you like it?”

“If I like it?Baby girl it’s perfect!”Then he looked at my naked body and added “Perfect indeed” as he slowly lowered down to catch my lips in the most romantic kiss. When I broke the kiss(‘cuz if it was for him,we would stay there for hours) I begin to explain to him what my surprise was.

“I was thinking what I could give you for our 5th year anniversary that wasn’t bought from a store,but had more of a deep sentimental value” He slowly nodded

“I was talking to Sarah and she told me that Lisa,her new girlfriend is a Tantric massage therapist and had given her a tantric massage one day,she said it was the best experience she’s ever had.So I got curious and decided to make an appointment with her and babe” I sighed “I’ve never had in my life,such an amazing experience! The feeling is...I can’t describe,you have to feel it to understand it. My point is,Lisa told me that tantric massage can be used by couples as a form of bonding,like a deeper connection. It can be used to strengthen they’re intimacy.” When I saw the confused look on his face I said

“What I’m trying to say is that I love you so much” He smiles “I love you too baby girl” I smiled back,continuing my explanation “And I know that you’re the best man I could’ve ever had asked for myself!Even too good for me,but my point is that,it makes me upset that I don’t tell you as often as I would like to how much you mean to me,so I asked Lisa for some advice on how to perform a tantric massage on you and thought that,maybe it would be a nice way to show you how I truly feel,through this” I pointed out to the set up in front of us,smiling shyly.

“I-I..baby girl, I don’t even know what to say...This is all so beautiful, I mean, you didn’t need to make all this to show me that you care or love me babe,I know that regardless” he touched my face softly and quickly added “But that doesn’t mean I’m not curious about your surprise..In fact I’m quite excited to see what this is all about” He has a evil sparkle on his eyes and we both couldn’t help but laugh.

“Ok big dog,I gonna need you to lay down on your stomach for me,okay?”

He smiled and did as I asked.

I kneeled down on one of the cushions beside the yoga mat and said

“Alright baby,now,I need you to close your eyes,relax and just focus on my touch upon your skin ok?” When he nodded I grabbed the massage candle and started by dripping some of the wax into his ankles and calves,lightly spreading the melted wax up,until it reaches his back thighs.

I remembered that Lisa told me that this should not be a relaxing massage,in the sense of quizzing in the muscles to bring relief,but it was more focused on the touch it self,so I had to keep a very lightweight touch and make sure that only my finger tips(and occasionally my finger nails if I wanted to) touched his skin lightly.

When I reached his back thighs I notice Roman shifting his weight ever so slightly.

*Oh thank God,I’m doing this right!* I thought to myself relieved.

I dripped more wax,now,onto his perfect round ass and lower back.As I begin working out the wax and spreading it I heard a deep,low,almost inaudible,growl leave his lips and I couldn’t help but smile to myself.I let my finger nails just lightly roam his ass,lower back and side hips.I was so lost in the action that I was caught by surprise when a loud moan left Roman’s lips.

“Y/N..”

I grabbed the candle again and repeated the same process but now on his middle and upper back,shoulders,in the back of his arms and forearms,the palm of his hands,his fingers,neck and ears.

When I reached his head,I lightly dive my finger tips through his hair so I could reach his scalp and begin lightly massaging it,as if I was washing his hair,when I very lightly scratched his scalp I heard a very familiar sound

“Mmmmm fuck,oh shit...Mmmmm”

*Hold on..did he just? Oh I know THAT sound,I think he came!* I thought to myself

I lightly tapped his shoulder twice(a sign for him to turn onto his back) and when he did I could see that I was right,as there were evidences of his cum not only on his stomach but also on the yoga mat,and his deliciously thick erection resting on his belly.

I placed a cushion under his hips and one under the back of his head before I repeated the same previous actions.Starting from the soles of his feet,working my way up his shin,knees,thighs,lower abdomen,hips,abdomen,ribs,chest,nipples,side of the neck,face,front shoulders,biceps,forearm and the front of his hands.

Once I got up and placed myself on the mat,between his legs, I looked at him and I could swear that in 7 years,I’ve never seen that man with such a wild,primal,raw,luscious look on his face.

“Ro?”

“Hm?” I’ve never heard his voice so rough before

“We’re going to the last step now,ok?”

“Mhmm” was all he answered with his gaze glued to my face

I dripped some wax onto my hands and rub them together to spread it.

I took his length into my left hand,lightly squeezed the base of his cock and started to pull my hand up towards the head until my hand slides off,just so I could grabbed it with my right hand and repeat the same steps.

“Oh my fucking God” He rolled his eyes to the back of his head “ Sweet fucking Christ,Oohhh fuuuck” He moaned with a raspy voice.

I took the opportunity to massage the head of his cock in a orange juicer motion.

“Argh” He deeply growled,snapped his eyes open and look at me with a deadly look on his face “Fuck me Y/N! I need you to fuck me right now! Come here and ride me nice and hard baby”

“But Roman,I’m not done ye-“

“I don’t give a fuck!” He gritted “I need you,and I need you right now! Just come here,and put my cock inside that sweet tight pussy baby” He smirked in an almost demonic way and I immediately straddle his hips.

Once I lined his cock to my entrance he quickly thrusted inside of me,making me gasp.

While he gave sometime to adjust he said

“Oh it feels good to be home!” He chuckled

“Baby girl, I don’t know what you did or how,but we’re definitely gonna be doing this more often!” He smiled deviously before he holded my hips in place so he could fuck me like a maniac.

“Oh Ro,fuck”

I’ve never felt him so thick,so deep and so hard inside of me.He was fucking me at a pace so brutal that it was almost deliciously painful.

He grabbed my wrists from his chest and rapidly tugged me down so our chests were glued to each other’s,he took the opportunity to ferociously kiss my lips while he preceded to fuck me brutally.

“Ro,baby,I’m gonna-“

I couldn’t even finish my sentence,because my orgasm hit me so hard that I couldn’t even breathe properly.

“Oh fuck me baby! So fucking tight...so warm...” He gritted “So insanely wet”

With that I could feel his cock throbbing and the hot spurts of his cum inside of me.

When he released his last spurt,we look at each other’s eyes and shared the most passionate loving kiss.When we broke the kiss I said

“I love you Ro,so much”

“With your heart,body and soul?” He lightly smiled,remembering his own words said to me on our wedding vows.

I smiled back before answering without a doubt

“With all of my heart,my whole body and my only soul”

And it was in that moment that I knew I couldn’t have picked a better surprise for the owner and of my heart,body and soul.