#we've kidnapped the bard so now what

[thelostgirl21]

Somehow, I don't think I've ever truly taken the time to appreciate just how sort of... ridiculous Radovid's introduction scene is?

Not Radovid himself, he's adorable!

But it does make you wonder...

How often does King Vizimir just... randomly yell his name at the top of his lungs like that to get his attention, and then, just... basically lets him carry on, because turns out he didn't want anything from him?

He's like: "Nah, don't worry about it, 'bro! I just felt like loudly shouting your name in a crowd rather than simply telling Dijkstra that I'd decided you'd be leading the 'Princess Ciri finding efforts' from now on! Just reminding him of how adorable you are, you know? Look Dijkstra? Isn't he adorable? That's my baby brother with his little bottle making cute little "whoo! " sounds right there..."

Because, you know, once Radovid realises that his brother is calling him, he makes literally no effort to go see him, either!

I know he's playing dumb/drunk, but still!

"What's that?! Oh, okay! It's just Vizimir trying to locate me. Whoo!"

WHAT *IS* THAT?!

It's like a parent at a children's party suddenly going "SAMUEL!".

Child: *Stops playing to look at their parent.* "What?!"

Parent: "Oh, no worry, honey! I just wanted to make sure you hadn't run off, drowned in the pool, got kidnapped or something! But I see you've got your grape juice bottle and are having fun with your friends, everything's fine! Go on!" Child: "Yay!"

I mean, you might reasonably expect King Vizimir to shout Radovid's name in a crowd like that to get his attention so he can motion to him to come over, and then introduce him to someone he's never met before.

Which, on a meta level, is technically what he's doing: introducing Radovid to the audience.

But in Universe?!?!

It's Dijkstra. Dijkstra knows who the crown prince of Redania is, Vizimir! You could've just told him, and he'd have gotten it! No need to get all dramatic about it!

TL;DR: King Vizimir is a ridiculous drama queen that loves showing off his pet baby brother every chance he gets!

And Radovid's gotten so used to it by now, that he's totally stopped attempting to figure out what his big brother wants when he calls him.

What if it's not just Vizimir, though, and Radovid just has that reputation for constantly getting himself into trouble if left unsupervised for too long.

So, people at court have a habit of periodically shouting his name; just to get him to manifest himself in large crowds, or crawl out of whatever hole or tight space he's crammed himself into, make eye contact, and locate him.

Therefore, in my new personal headcanon, there's now a scene at the Thanedd Ball that pretty much goes:

- Dijkstra: "RADOVID!" - Philippa: *walking over to him* "I think I saw him leave earlier with his royal security detail. He's probably sniffed out the bard's scent..." - Dijkstra: "Oh, good! You made sure those guards understood their assignment, right?" Philippa: "Of course!"

***Meanwhile, in the nearby woods.***

- Captain of the guards: "RADOVID!" - Other guard: "It's no use sir, we've lost him! " - Captain: "Gods damnit! Dijkstra won't be pleased..." - Radovid: *having already put plenty of distance between them, on his way to go see Jaskier* "Whoo!"

It's a good thing Philippa wasn't with them, or what might have happened would have been something closer to:

- Philippa: "Don't worry! I've got this!" *in whispering tones* "Sabrina was right. Valdo Marx's compositions are far superior to Jask -" - Radovid: *instantly traveling across space and time to appear right before her* "Valdo Marx has NOTHING on Jaskier! His sublime ethereal melodies, and the poetry of his lyrics, elevate the bardic arts to -" - Philippa: "Oh. Look. There he is!"

[rosybetta]

Who’s your DnD character? And, did you defeat a dragon with the power of friendship??

I'M SO GLAD YOU ASKED

Okay so when I say "defeat", it was more like "she surrendered", but a win is a win!! I'll get to that in a second -

This is Pip! Short for Piperre, she's my houndfolk glamour bard!! I'm in the process of redrawing her to suit my current art style, so this is the best art I have of her right now lol. She's just a little ouppy that plays the harmonica and the banjo and I ADORE HERRRRRR.

Her backstory is a bit convoluted, but the major highlights are: She was kidnapped from her clan as a pup and sold to some drow royalty, where she was trained as an entertainer/handmaid/servant for the princess (yikes). She escaped with a gang of orc thieves who raided the drow castle. She acted as their "distraction" getaway person for a while, until she inevitably got caught while distracting the city watch, so she ended up in jail.

I'll put the rest under the cut bc I got kinda carried away lol

That's where this new campaign picks up! I'm a bit busier than the other players, so my character needed to be able to disappear occasionally. So I worked with the DM and we landed on this... While in jail, Pip was visited by "The Jester", the main antagonist(????) of our campaign (I think?? It's confusing). He offered to free her and set her up with a secure comfortable life far away from the people looking for her... she just had to agree to complete tasks for him on occasion. When she made the deal, she was told it would be "nothing that would weigh on your conscience", but it turns out that she just has no memory of what happens. Long story short, when the rest of the party meets her, she's an entertainer at the local inn, and disappears some nights, waking up in odd places with unexplained scrapes and bruises. But she's not gonna let that get her down!

Buncha other stuff happens that I can't easily summarize, but anyway. The green dragon stuff!! Long story short, we've found ourselves in an underground fighting competition thing, essentially a dungeon crawl where each room is another fight closer to the exit. This is the opening "qualifier" match, so we're allowed to pick our opponents, and Pip obviously chooses to face off against the other bard in the lineup. What ensues is a brief but spectacular...

BATTLE OF THE BARDS!!

Pip pulls some showstopping bardic ability shit and the crowd goes WILD, her opponent forfeits the match, and she's doing a victory lap around the ring with the rest of the party, when one of the competition organizers approaches her. Essentially, this woman "collects unique talent", and was very impressed by Pip's performance. Pip politely declines because "I don't do residencies, sorry! ^-^", and the woman is like "Oh, I Wasn't Asking". And that was the end of the session for the night.

SOOO before next session, we brainstorm a plan. Essentially, we challenge the green dragon to a fight using the terms of the competition - not to the death, but each party wagers something of equal value if they lose. We wager one of ours, for one of hers. (We suspected she was holding a beloved NPC hostage.)

She accepts, and the battle begins! Predictably, it's a TOUGH fight, but she's not in FULL dragon form, just partially-tranformed, so it's a bit easier. The turning point is when our aaracokra monk, who is kinda the glue holding our party together, gets targeted. He had just dealt some serious damage to her (thanks to my bardic buffs), but left himself vulnerable in the process. The dragon goes in for the kill, delivering a wicked slash that sends him across the ring, unconscious.

He's making death saves now. This is bad.

The dragon moves in for a killing blow, BUT that gives the rest of us a chance to make an opportunity attack against her! We had some really ulucky rolls, which we explain narratively by saying we're all in utter shock at our friend being taken down like that.

And then it's Pip's turn. She turns and makes eye contact with our aasimar paladin. The paladin nods. Pip turns back to the dragon, snarling. They've NEVER seen her this angry; it transforms her whole demeanor. That's her FRIEND, and she is ABSOLUTELY FURIOUS.

Now, some background here: When Pip first met the party, her nightly disappearances were linked to some bad shit that the rest of the party was there to investigate. There was a lot of suspicion initially, but once they filled her in on what had been happening, Pip was wracked with guilt, and swore she never knew she was a part of it all. The aaracokra monk was one of the last to put aside his distrust, but once he did, he became one of her strongest supporters. He ALWAYS had her back, assuring her that he wouldn't let anything take away her freedom again, even if they didn't know what was causing her disappearances (and apparently crimes). He was the first to run out into the ring to celebrate with her when she won the battle of the bards! He means A LOT to Pip.

So when he's taken down by the green dragon, our little supportive healer switches into fucking Attack Mode. And uhh I could just describe what I did mechanically, but it's more fun to make it a whole dramatic scene.

Pip plays the banjo, right? Well, I decided she can probably pull some bard magic bullshit to make it sound however she wants... Mostly so I could justify using a certain song for what she does next. Imagine the opening notes of this song in the following moments. >:)

She strums a sinister chord, then raises her banjo up as if it was a bow, pulling back a glowing magical bowstring. As she fires, an arc of magic shoots across the ring like an arrow. And in that split second, a deafening, discordant screech thunders from within the dragon's ribcage, shaking the earth, shattering nearby rocks, raising a cloud of dust in the air. The dragon's scales rattle, bones crack, muscles shudder as this wave of pure sound thunders all around her.

Pip cast the strongest spell she knows at the highest level she possibly could, dealing enough damage to send the dragon to her knees. This buys our paladin just enough time to slip past her and heal our monk, stabilizing him. But before the dragon can fully recover, the paladin is back on the offensive, going ALL OUT, sword blazing with divine fire, body radiating light in a way I can only describe as Going Nuclear. She tears through the dragon's wing, and that was the final nail in the coffin.

The dragon, grounded and badly hurt, cries out, "I yield!" Our monk rises to his feet and looks down at her, tired but triumphant.

And THAT, my friend, is how we defeated a green dragon with the power of friendship and incredible violence.

[thefringespod]

Okay I know I already reblogged @the-sassy-composer 's post about story inspiration but I would like to expand upon things because I went back to some of my earlier notes and I left off a major player in the original inspiration of this show

Starting with the more average inspirations, we've got The Adventure Zone and Dimension 20. I'm looping them together because a lot of my inspirations for this show are d&d based and my love of d&d comes from these shows. This show was originally set in a planar system like in d&d (specifically the one that features heavily in TAZ Balance). It also was originally going to have ttrpg elements to the creation and execution of the show (side note: if you wanna see a show that's actually *doing* that, check out @souloperatorpod) There's something about the way that TAZ and D20 weave magic and sci-fi (see TAZ: Balance and D20: A Starstruck Odyssey for the best examples, though most of my D20 inspo was actually The Unsleeping City) that has always really spoken to me and greatly influenced the magic systems I used on the Fringes

Like every depressed 15 year old on Tumblr, I watched a LOT of Doctor Who. It's a huge part of my sci-fi-ish inspirations (the multiple realities and ways to travel between them mostly. Yes in DW they travel through time but the feeling I'm trying to evoke is similar). Sci-fi that deals with traveling between worlds or time or realities has always been something I've loved and a lot of that fascination stems back to Doctor Who (and also Marvel comics but they're less of an actual inspiration and more of a fix for my multiverse needs)

And then there's Between the Lions

If you were not a USAmerican child watching PBS between 2000-2010, Between the Lions was a children's educational puppet show (more like Muppets than hand puppets but not official Muppets) that followed a family of lions who worked/lived in a library. It was like an anthology series for kids, each episode featuring a different children's story being read

The original drafts of the Fringes very heavily followed the idea "what if Between the Lions had a psychological horror element"

Before it was on the Fringes, this story took place in the Library. The Library (she/her) was a sentient and infinite library where our Storyteller (any) lived. The Storyteller would read stories from the lives of those living in the realities outside of the Library to the Wanderer. If you've listened to the Fringes, you can probably see that the Library became Minerva, the Storyteller became the Keeper, and the Wanderer has always been wandering. And if you've listened to the Fringes you can probably figure out what the Library had done in my original drafts. In addition to kidnapping, however, the Library also fully consumed anyone who came into the library by absorbing all of their stories and leaving them nothing but bones. Between the Lions! With kidnapping and horror implications!

I left the Library because I kept getting stuck there, eventually finding the room to breathe and create on the Fringes. That said, my first introduction to anthology was Between the Lions and it did still influence a lot my creative process and what ended up becoming the Fringes

I'm going to close this out by returning to The Adventure Zone and one of my favorite quotes of all time "See, there’s magic in a bard’s song. They call it inspiration, and it tells the listener what they need to hear right when they need to hear it. And right now, you hear it too." Inspiration is a form of magic. In d&d it helps you add to your roll. In real life, it helps you create things that you never thought possible until it *happened*. Seeing a bunch of other creators talking about their inspirations for their shows has been so much fun, especially when you know the stuff well enough to see it reflected in their work

[shadoedseptmbr]

Hello! I would like to hear about the campaign you’re in (if you’re willing to share here or privately)

what’s going on? are you playing one of the awesome lasses I was so lucky to draw?

What is your character worried about right now? What are they chasing? Do their true motives match what they say their motives are?

Hope you have an awesome weekend :)

I'm so sorry this took awhile to answer, my head's been in the clouds!

ANYWAY-

We have the beginning of a campaign with Rahn- the swamp druid you did for me. She's joined a group of assorted adventurers who have individually volunteered to look into a matter just outside a thriving city in a land where sudden technological advances have started to change the landscape and society- for the better or worse, we've yet to see. Anyway, several farm animals have gone missing and we were dispatched to the latest only to discover that a farmer's favorite horse had been dragged from it's field into the adjoining woods. We discovered that goblins were to blame- but they were feeding some slimy black creature in a pond about a half a day's travel. We managed to rescue the farmer's horse and defeat the creature and it's minions. And that was where we left that. Now, in the other campaign- you have *kind of* drawn my character, in another life :D. My half-elf ranger Caravel is the two legged embodiment of Fennan's wolf friend, Cara! :D She's also got purple hair and grey green eyes (as did Fenn before she became a shifter). However Caravel found herself a lowly ranger apprentice who'd taken up with a band of thieves and robbing the wrong wizard. She touched a thing she shouldn't have touched and got zapped into the Astral Plane. With a timely Intervention, she was rescued by a travelling autognome cleric by the name of Thuribel and delivered to the city of Brawn and introduced to a collector of lost things named Gaspar who took her under his wing and taught her the fine art of finding lost things- for a fee.

While training, she occasionally got sidetracked by impulses and intuition and outright dreams and discovered a few lost things that Thuribel's god Ptah seemed to have been missing and after a...time of indeterminate length (Caravel thinks maybe 6 years- but it's been 60) she got the urge to travel and took a leave of absence, her debt long repaid, to join the crew of one of the airships that travel the empty spans of stars in the Plane to other places.

The ship, and it's rather eclectic crew, was attacked and crashed, landing fortuitously on another bit of land where they encountered a sucking portal that some of them were drawn into and met a banished demigod who promised to send them home if they'd free her. Caravel lost the memory of Thuribel in service to this god and also the memory of why she'd decided to study as a cleric.

The little band- a paladin, a wizard, an artificer (all astral elves) a drow assassin and a human bard, besides Caravel- found themselves drawn in to far darker deeds than they were comfortable with- including corrupting a sacred tree as an altar to the demigod. It culminated in a mission in the Feywild when Caravel made a carving for a centaur foal whose herd they were camping with and it caused the foal to attack another, somehow possessed by Caravel's gift. They managed to find a druid, who helped them draw the demigod to the Feywild and killed her, but the druid was killed after by unknown forces. They're currently trekking into the Shadowfell, on a mission to rescue the one true love of the centaur leader's son, Plinko, who has been captured by the Raven Queen in return for a debt owed by the lover's father. Not long after they entered the Shadowfell, alas, Plinko was also kidnapped by the Raven Queen who told them he'd been banned from ever returning after the first time he'd tried a rescue and was now forfeit. The band has now found a guide, atop a tower library built in the antlers of a giant elk, who has offered to guide them to the one clue they have- a place called the Ruby Ibis and a person whose name Plinko called out before he disappeared.

[magic-multicolored-miracle]

The Witcher S3 EP 2: Unbound AKA Roll Call, Everyone's Here

I'll be honest, a good percentage of this just Bard Lust. And getting excited and/or concerned when characters first appear

Little do you know, she is trying to keep the royal peace...

But you and I agree on one thing, Madam Barkeep 👀

Hm. Ciri, has that been happening a lot?

"My Ugly One?" Is that...a term of endearment because I have Thoughts, Concerns, and Emotions if it is...

Shopping for what, Yen?

He's not wrong about the monsters

Is that...? It is! I now have a canonical crossover point! Codringher = Edwin the Magnificant. And they're both even a mysterious stranger type that our Adventuring Hero and his bestie go to for advice/assistance/information/etc.

Hello, who are you? Oh. Nevermind. It's Emperor CreepyDad

Damn Fringilla...you're in a sorry state

Oh wait, we've met them before. They were helping...someone last season. Why didn't I recognize him?

Aww, look at Jaskier looking so smug and proud. Not unlike a cat himself

I don't trust those noises outside...

Geralt "Oh I've got plenty of contempt, old man"

Aww look, they're growing. And sharing their feelings. But also, Jask, baby...💔

Ragamuffin gets used for a lot of magic-y things (ok, it was 2, but that's still a lot when there's So Many Words out there, even if we stick to English)

Ooh, I don't know who this woman is but I like her

I respect it Ciri but your impulses are going to get people killed. Rein it in girl

Triss? Teaching at Aretuza? Why does that feel...wrong?

Stregobitch. Glad you went off the rails there at the last minute because I was almost starting to think you were being sensible and it made me itchy.

Go Tissaia, putting Bitch in his place!

Blood on a wall is never good...

What...is happening and why do I feel like it might be a sex thing?

Ok so it's not a sex thing? Spies are weird

Sure Dijkstra, to "Redania." We can pretend this is a for king and country thing if it helps you sleep at night, but there are definitely personal ambitions at hand

This. Is. A. Look. and a Power. Stance. God I'm in love with him (also I'm really here for the varied florals. And the shapes that the fit creates. The costumer in me is thrilled)

"I don't do pretty." What a lie. An absolute lie. I have never heard a bigger lie

My guy, Princeling, whatever. Can we focus? I mean I too love when the bard is bard-ing, but this is important

Ooh, nice castle. Definitely a trap

Where's your other sword Geralt? Don't tell me you expected a trap and still left it on the horse...

Ouch. What a Mom answer, straight to the gut

Oh honey. Yennefer knows that fight better than most

Oh hey Cahir! It's been a while. What's up? Hallucinating Ciri? Neat

Ooh. Fringilla has an Idea (I bet I know what it is)

I already adore this song immediately (and the extended version on spotify is *chefs kiss*). Also 🥺

God, Jaskier proving he can play The Game is so sexy. Send help

If you break my Jaskier's heart, I will end you Princeling.

Oh good, you do have the other sword. I feel better now

Gross. What the fuck.

Oh, he's just kidnapping every girl that looks vaguely Ciri-esque. And apparently making them into nightmare fuel when they're not her

Elven? Who...?

Oh look live action Orsino-Harvester! Not something I wanted, but cool

Oh Jesus. They're still connected. This just keeps getting worse

That looked like it hurt, but it's a small price to pay for freedom probably. Now what Frin?

God Vizimir is obnoxious. And that was an...interesting look from his lady wife. The true power behind the throne perhaps? Or plotting a coup?

Well shit. Firefucker's going to kill these two, isn't he? Don't you dare hurt the kitty!! (I guess at least he listened to that...)

I don't trust you or your gift Vilgefortz. But at the same time, goddamn I like you, you smooth, pretty motherfucker

It's Yennefer. Of course she's bringing trouble. And, as noted, she is trouble

That's a lot to blame yourself for, Yen...

So you abandoned the search to save the girl? And she's...crazy? manipulated? the trap? I'm confused

[bounce-a-coin-off-your-witcher]

A Great Treasure

(Jaskier just constantly getting kidnapped by dragons and dressed real pretty? Yeah. I’m into it.)

tw: gratuitous, almost My Immortal levels of outfit description because I am A Ho For The Look, dragons being horny, Geralt being soft as fuck but also kinda horny

---

The next dragon that took Jaskier wasn’t nearly as sneaky. Nor was it green. The great, sapphire-blue reptile swooped down above the road in broad daylight and plucked the surprised bard up with its great talons, disappearing over the tops of the trees before Geralt could so much as think to pull his sword. The Witcher heard Jaskier’s startled cry echo out over the forest and urged Roach into a canter. He departed from the beaten path and took off in the same general direction the creature had been headed. “It hasn’t even been three full fucking weeks yet. Fuck.”

Hello, Jaskier! I’m a friend of Etheid’s, the dragon introduced herself. The draconic method of telepathic communication still bothered the bard a little but the blue dragon’s voice seemed more sing-song than Etheid’s had been. Certainly more feminine. Call me Lythos, or Lyth for short. 

“Nice to meet you, Lythos,” Jaskier muttered, clenching his eyes shut tightly. “Let’s talk more when we’re on solid ground, yeah?”

Afraid of heights, bardling?

“Just a smidgen of a little bit.”

Worry not, we’re nearly to my tower.

“Another tower?”

Whatever happened to talking on solid ground?

“I’ve been kidnapped by two dragons in one month. I’m curious.”

I doubt this will be the last time you’re kidnapped by a dragon, either. Not until one of my brethren gives up during their turn or loses the bet.

“Their turn? What bet?! What are you talking about?”

I will explain the situation to you more fully when we land. There is much to be discussed. Many things to plan. Many rules to be determined and recorded for the others. 

Jaskier sighed, glad he’d left his lute tied to Roach’s saddlebags today, and let himself be carried off to yet another strange adventure. “So you guys are just going to keep swooping in and stealing me away like this because it’s fun?”

Yes. And because Borch said that you and Geralt are kind-hearted and friendly mortals. We dragons don’t meet many such humans in our travels; we’d like to reward you somehow.

“So you’re rewarding me by kidnapping me?”

That’s why we included the second part of the deal, with the elaborately designed outfits. It’s not just because we enjoy collecting treasures from all over the Continent and squirreling them away to play with later; it’s also our form of payment to you. If you’re dressed from head to toe in silk and gold when Geralt rescues you then there’s no time to stop and take those items off before you ‘escape’. You can keep them or sell them; anything you are given by one of us should be considered payment for services rendered.

“And the service that Geralt and I are providing is...entertainment?”

Correct. It would be unfair to use up so much of a Witcher’s time without paying him.

“You’d be surprised how many people do that, actually,” Jaskier griped. “Village after village, turning him away without payment just because he’s a mutant and a freak. It’s horrible!”

Now you understand why my kin are so desperate for something good in the world. The love between you and Geralt is pure and strong, that is the other reason we chose the two of you.

Jaskier blushed. “We’re just a couple of flimsy mortals that happened to bump into each other and get along. Most of the time. It’s a very human thing to do. There are other couples in need of some emotional urging, if you’re looking to orchestrate a romance.”

No, we wish only to further yours. Now, would you care to look through the clothes I’ve gathered? We have at least another day before your Witcher finds us. 

“Less than a day if he chooses not to pause for meditation, the fool.”

He will not risk losing you, Lythos sighed happily. I checked in on him earlier; he is meditating and gathering his strength. He has admitted his love for you now and is determined to prove himself. How dreamy.

“That is absolutely precious! Ugh, I love him so much.” 

Then let us make you lovely, so that when he arrives he is doubly excited to see you.

“I can’t argue with that logic. Not from such an ancient and wise creature.”

Flattery gets you everywhere, bard, Lythos teased. She huffed out a thin cloud of steam and Jaskier chuckled in return. 

“I know.”

---

“Are you kidding me?”

Absolutely not, the dragon shook its snout. Try them on. Unless you don’t like it, of course; I have other options, too.

“No, it’s all very lovely. It’s just...I get to keep them?”

Of course. I don’t want to make you change your clothes in the middle of Geralt’s daring rescue. That would totally ruin the romance!

“I suppose that would be rather odd. Even Geralt might catch on to something like that.” Jaskier held clothes the dragon had preferred in his hands, glancing once more at the suggested shirt. “What exactly is this supposed to be?”

It’s a tunic, of course. What else could it possibly be?

The bard gesticulated towards the dragon, holding the apparent tunic out for inspection as if he was shocked or surprised by Lyth’s choice. “It’s completely sheer!”

Yes, and it will make you look so very delicate, Lythos urged. Just try it on with the pants. Just once. You can change if you don’t like it, like I said. There’s a whole closet of costumery at your disposal, Jaskier.

The bard sighed and pulled the pants on first. They were made of a deep, peacock blue silk and hugged him in all the right places. He turned back and forth, observing their fit in the full-length mirror Lythos had provided. His legs were defined but the material wasn’t overly tight; it hadn’t bunched up near his thighs or ass like silk of this kind usually did. “Were these tailored to fit me?”

Yes, they were. 

“How? I’ve only been here for a few hours and you pulled these directly from the armoire!”

Etheid passed along your measurements to the rest of us so that we could better prepare.

“Right, of course. Dragons. Bets. All that fun stuff,” the bard sighed. He tugged the gossamer shirt down over his head and tucked it neatly into the waistband of his high-waisted trousers. Jaskier glanced towards the mirror again and discovered that he looked...he looked amazing. 

The shirt had been designed with a low, swooping neckline that revealed both his collarbones and a good portion of his chest. The thin, almost translucent white material left whatever the shirt did cover still almost entirely visible. When he blushed it could be rather obviously traced all the way down to his mid-chest. The giddy bard mussed his hair a little and did his best pouting ‘rescue me’ face; oh yes, that’s the way to do it. 

Jaskier looked downright sinful. 

“You are absolutely brilliant, Lythos! Geralt is going to lose his mind when he sees me in this ensemble.”

So you’ll wear it?

“This particular outfit is my new favorite. I’ll have to wait until the next dragon shows up before we can turn a profit from this whole bard-napping melodrama venture.”

There is always the jewelry. I can give you a few extra pieces to sell since you love the clothes so much; I have too much of the stuff sitting around and collecting dust anyway.

“Would you like it if I let you choose all my jewelry? I’m afraid I tend to go a bit overboard.”

Yes, yes! The dragon huffed happily, filling the space briefly with a cloud of steam. I have temporary earrings and bracelets and necklaces. I even have anklets if you so desire. 

“Goody!” the bard rejoiced. “I love anklets! I never have good enough reason to wear them, though. This will be lovely. Do you mind if I roll the pants up to my knees? Geralt does so love the sight of my bare skin. I think it would drive him absolutely mad if we showed a little ankle for the Witcher.”

Please do whatever you see fit, my friend, Lythos insisted. You must sparkle for your White Wolf. You must look the part of the treasure he seeks to find!

“Ah, so I’m a treasure this time instead of a damsel?”

Hmm, yes. I think that makes it more interesting. What kind of treasure would you like to be?

“Geralt’s,” the bard breathed dreamily. The large, winged reptile rolled her eyes and huffed again.

Duh, that’s the point. I meant like...pirate treasure? A king’s treasure? I’ve never done roleplay before. Mostly just burning down the houses of rude nobles and kidnapping some princesses upon request. I’m not incredibly familiar with human treasure.

“Oh! I could be your hoard!”

You’re brilliant! Of course! This will be so fun. What if you laid in my tail when Geralt arrived? Like I was guarding you?

“Well then how would he get me away without hurting you?”

I could make him give a speech? Woo you away from me with your words?

“Oh, that’s very clever. Very dramatic. I love it!”

We do make a good team, I think.

“Do you have any makeup? This look would be excellent with some eyeliner.”

You are definitely as entertaining and fun as Etheid promised. I’m sure that Aramaris will enjoy you just as much.

“Wait, who’s Aramaris?”

They chose the next lot after me. Then, after Aramaris has their turn, Vertos would like a chance to partake. 

“Hold on a minute. There’s a waiting list of dragons who want to kidnap me?”

And see Geralt come running to your aid, yes. It is rather sweet to watch and we are all very bored. We’re going to see who can make you the prettiest and get Geralt the most worked up. 

“So this is just a game to you?”

As I said before, it is both a game and a legitimate matchmaking endeavor. Additionally, we’re compensating you for your time and trouble.

“I suppose,” Jaskier agreed. “Plus this outfit is absolutely to die for.”

Yes, and now to the makeup!

---

Geralt was very confused and very tired. He had tracked the dragon through the woods to yet another ancient, dilapidated tower. Jaskier was hidden at the top, no doubt, probably terrified out of his mind. This was the second dragon to capture his idiot bard in a fucking month, though the first time had been extremely unorthodox. Just plain odd, really, considering Geralt’s previous experiences. 

Oh well, nothing he could do now except climb the tower and rescue Jaskier.

---

Jaskier was waiting for his Witcher to arrive while reclining within the coil of Lythos’s enormous blue tail His pants were only a half-shade brighter than her scales and the contrast was remarkably artistic (perhaps by design). The bard was barefoot and his pants were rolled up to just below the knee. Lyth had insisted on decking him out in lots of jewelry since Jaskier was to be her supposed hoard. It will be more realistic and believable if you’re dripping with silver and sapphires, bard. He found himself unable to argue with her logic once again.

Jaskier had a handful of thin silver bands around one ankle, a silver cuff around his left wrist, and another bejeweled cuff at the top of his left bicep, beneath the shirt. Lythos had added a thin silver chain around his neck, which fell to just above his chest hair and ended with a teardrop shaped sapphire pendant. Some kind of crushed gemstone powder had been dusted atop his collarbones and into his hair, making him seem to sparkle in the midday sun. He’d added a light, smudged layer of kohl around his eyes to widen and darken them like he had once at court. The dragon had also demanded that he slide several rings of various styles and sizes onto his long, tapered fingers. It will draw his attention to your hands, she explained. You will thank me tonight, I’m sure.

That suggestion had Jaskier blushing brightly and Lythos had nearly snorted fire from laughing so hard at the young man’s reaction. 

Here he comes! She announced, bringing Jaskier’s back to the present. His blue eyes fixated on the thick wooden door that led from the chamber where Lythos lay curled and ‘guarding’ him to the bedchamber where he’d stayed the last two nights. Very shortly after her announcement there was a determined grunt, a heavy thud, and the door crashed open to reveal Geralt. 

The Witcher was breathing heavily and his nostrils were flared but he wasn’t wearing his armor. He hadn’t been wearing it last time, either, and Jaskier wondered if he was already onto their little charade. “You know I won’t win if we battle,” Geralt admitted, staring across the room at the lounging dragon.

His eyes flickered to Jaskier for a moment, widened when they took in the bard’s appearance, and then returned to staring down the monster. 

I don’t intend to fight you, Witcher, Lythos said, projecting her bored words into both of their minds. Jaskier knew that she was faking the cold disinterest but his heart still picked up speed when one of her large claws hooked beneath his chin and raised him into a slightly taller sitting position. Though I suspect that you’ve come to take back my newest treasure and I am loathe to let it go so soon.

The Witcher nodded, unable to form words. He was nervous for the life of his bard but he was also slightly distracted by the way Jaskier was being forced to arch his neck and tilt his head that way. The bard looked so fucking breakable and soft, surrounded by scales and held partially aloft by such a strong and pointed appendage. His eyes were wide and completely focused on the Witcher, his own peril seemingly irrelevant even as he gasped against the scraping claw. Geralt shook his head to clear it and narrowed his eyes even more. “Don’t hurt him.”

It’s my treasure, Lythos hummed dismissively. I will do with the human lad as I please. Go away, Witcher, and leave us to play.

“He’s not a toy,” Geralt growled. He reached for his sword and cursed when his hand swiped through empty air. He knew bringing a weapon up so many flights of stairs was pointless but he still should have kept it on him for safety. Jaskier made a gentle, nervous noise and the Wicher flinched. “Please don’t hurt him!”

You would barter for the human? For his safe return?

“Take me instead,” Geralt offered. He held his hands up in surrender and took a slow step forward. Lythos lowered Jaskier back down to his lazily reclined position and raised her scaly brow. The bard was shocked; he hadn’t been expecting the Witcher to do something so drastic right away. He’d anticipated some kind of argument first.

You would sacrifice yourself for him? Trade yourself to me in order to save him?

“Of course,” the Witcher scoffed. Lythos could hear his slow heartbeat starting to accelerate. “I love him. I’d do anything for him.”

Hmm. Little treasure, what do you think?

“I can’t let him do that for me. He’s a Witcher, I am merely a traveling bard. The world has more need for him than it does for me.”

“Jaskier,” Geralt half-whimpered. A pleading tone bled into his words as he took another step forward, this time towards the bard, “You foolish man. I know you. You’d grow bored here. You’d grow antsy to travel. You’d try to escape and you’d get yourself hurt or killed or...”

I protect what is mine, the dragon interrupted. He will be safe here. I will keep him happy and entertained.

“Please,” the Witcher sighed. He dropped to his knees and bowed his head forward, white hair falling in a curtain around his ridiculously attractive face. “Jaskier was the first good thing Destiny ever did for me. I can’t lose him.”

I have seen into your heart and know these feelings to be true, Lythos intoned. She spoke as if she was making a very difficult decision and not sticking to a vague pre-determined script. You may take the bard and go, but you must hurry. I may change my mind.

Jaskier clambered out from between the coils of her massive tail and allowed Geralt to sweep him up into those strong, stable arms. He clung to the Witcher’s neck and buried his face to hide his smile. Lythos said her final goodbye to the bard alone; I hope my kin treat you fairly. If they do not, let me know, and I shall take care of it. Thank you for the lovely time.

“Thank YOU,” Jaskier mouthed. 

And then they began to descend the winding tower staircase.

---

“I hope I never see another dragon again in my life except for maybe Borch,” Geralt panted, urging Roach into a slightly faster canter.

“Yeah,” Jaskier said, smiling a little to himself. “Running into another dragon so soon after two nearly identical kidnappings would be very strange.”

[bigender-titan]

Bard Magic Can Be Cool

Raine begins teaching Eda bard magic.

Word count: 563

Read on AO3

"So," Raine says, nudging Eda as she gathers her things from her lockers. "When we were doing that stupid competition, I heard you talking to some other 'coven witches' about me. You decided to defend bard magic, huh? Told those other witches it could be cool?"

"It can be cool! That thing you do with drinks, the whistle- and how you levitate your books around because you're too good for a backpack? That's awesome! Those witches had no idea what they were talking about. I wish I could learn bard magic, instead of being stuck with stupid potions." She rolls her eyes, thinking back to her lesson that morning. Her attempt at an elixir had exploded, and not in a fun way. She spent most of lunch washing green goop out of her hair.

Raine, apparently thinking of the same incident, swipes some residual goop off of her forehead. Eda's cheeks definitely aren't heating up, nope, not at all. "Want me to teach you?"

"I shouldn't. Mixing magic is bad, right?" She lowers her voice into a bad imitation of Emperor Belos. "It is the Titan's will to keep magic in separate, boring boxes."

They laugh. "Like you're going to obey that stupid law, Clawthorne. You like chaos too much to keep magic in 'separate, boring boxes.'"

"Hmm... I do like chaos."

"I know. That's why I like you." They make eye contact a little too long, and Raine coughs, and looks away. "So. Bard lessons. You in?"

"Only you could get me to do lessons outside of Hexside, Rainstorm. You're turning me into a nerd."

They extend a hand to her, and Eda takes it. This isn't special. We've held hands before. Calm down, Edalyn. For whatever reason, her inner critic sounds like Lillith. Her panicked musings are interrupted by Raine's voice, saying "Come on. I know a great place to practice." Half running, they pull her along, out of Hexside and down a winding path, through long grasses and flowers. 

"Raine, are you kidnapping me?"

"Maybe," they reply, stretching out the word. "We're here."

Here seems to be a small hill, surrounded by snapdragon flowers. It's nice, out of the way of the noise and business of Bonesborough. Raine sits down and pats the grass next to them. "Ready to become a cool bard?" She grins and sits. 

"Nice place."

"Yeah. I come here when I need to get away from... people. Ugh. They're the worst."

"You don't hate all people, right? I'm still here."

They shrug. "You're an exception." Eda scratches the back of her neck, trying not to say anything dumb in response to that. Raine makes her too dumb. She doesn't like it. "Here," they say, handing her a mandolin. She stared at it apprehensively.

"Raine. What do I do with this?"

"I'm gonna show you, Eda." They take her hand in theirs and position her fingers on the mandolin. "Now strum." She does. The hill and its surrounding flowers glow, and one floats over to the pair. Eda catches it and tucks it in Raine's hair, letting her hand linger for longer than is probably necessary. "That was great!"

"I had a great teacher." She leans her head on their shoulder and plays the note again, and again, until flowers swirl all around them. She'd been right, in that labyrinth. Bard magic can be very, very cool. 

[hybbat]

How about a story of Temel, the baby bard, and the black wyrmlings

Tyranny of Dragons spoilers, I don't know how much wss in the books and how much our amazing DM made up for us.

Since the other post is quick long now I'll make this new post for him, especially since this one spans a whole campaign.

Temel is a little baby tiefling bard. He was actually 19 when the adventure started but he was short and baby faced.

Temel was coddled his whole life by his rich grandma after his mum dumped him on her and dissapeared. His granny was very fearful he would be hated for being a tiefling so he stayed inside and learned music. The only outdoor adventures he had was with his music teacher but those ended soon enough. He has one horn because when his grandma's money was beginning to dry up he tried to find a way to help her which ended with him getting almost kidnapped, knocked out, and his horn being cut off to sell as a fake dragon horn. He eventually ran away from home to find qork to support his granmdma and after living as a theif briefly he joined a guild.

Temel was basically my Tyranny of Dragons PC from start to finish. He was heavy support/healer but rather quickly picked up a crossbow which became his main weapon. His signature spell was invisibility which he would use at the drop of a hat if anything scared him- EVERYTHING scares him. He cried at the drop of a hat too, nothing could go right in his mind.

Anyways, at one point our party find an enemy camp and we gotta get in there and we decide to be all sneaky (our party avoided as many fights as possible throughout the whole campaign. We had several armies worth of kobolds, lizardfolk, and giants at our side near the end, but thats a different story.) We get in pretending to be a travelling band; this would be the first time Temel utilizes his, by the end, many dresses to disguise himself as a girl to hide his identity.

It was successful, and this would be the only time Temel would perform the stereotypical seductor bard roll, though unwillingly and indirectly, via the party convincing a guard that the pretty leading lady wanted to see him in her tent. The second he entered we knocked him out and stole his clothes. I don't remember exactly how we cleared the camp I think after casing the joint we went back and got help to do it smoothly, but the important thing is that at the end of it we discovered they were protecting three black dragon eggs.

We debated what to do with them, no one in the party wanted to kill babies in their nest obviously, and eventually we settled on bringing them back with us against many NPCs wishes. We had them cared for while we tried to figure out what to do with them. Karv, our goliath tank, was particularly adamant on hatching them and raising them as ours. Temel, not so much. Too scared to get rid of them, too scared to hatch them.

Well, Karv got his way. A while later the party ran into a castle run by lizardfolk and after helping them with their problems and convincing them to work for us, turning the basement of their castle into a dragon egg nest, and brought in kobolds we also befriended to help care for the eggs. Not long after we were called back and informed they were hatching.

Temel. Wss. TERRIFIED. Of these babies. The other three immediately jumped on parenting them, and we spent weeks with them trying to raise them as good boys. Thanks to some really amazing rolls, we were successful, but Temel was still scared of them. We fought evil dragons by this point and as mentioned, he is scared by everything.

And so they were a subplot throughout our whole campaign. We stopped everything to raise them, we got some insight into dragons and weird things because of them, Temel only marginally became less afraid of them. There were a few incidences, one lizardfolk lost their tail but after a good scolding and Glim, our gnome wizard, built prosthetic things were set right.

Eventually, we met with a council of good dragons. We brought our three wyrmlings aling at their request, and the babies were both in awe and fear at these adult metalics. One, I believe it wss Stumpy, took particular interest in the gold dragon.

Well we fought Tiamat and won, Temel cried, our barbarian Karok got to keep the dragon mask and Temel was crowned the slayer of dragons for kill stealing the finishing blow.(another story for another time) With that the party built a castle where we brought the babies and started a small tax to help them begin their treasure horde.

Temel has to some extent come around by this point. He is still scared a bit but they've been successfully raised good. They're still chromatic dragons, however, and many of the people who come and go in the castle don't truat them.

At one point, Stumpy starts asking about how true polymorph and other shapeshift apells work. He wants us to turn him into a gold dragon, because gold dragons are good, and black dragons are evil, and he doesn't want to be evil.

Temel freaks out. He is a tiefling, and he was locked away fir years for his appearance, he may be a soft spoken type but this was close to home. He spends a good long bit assuring Stumpy that he and his brothers ARE good, and he doesn't need to change himself.

And then he finds out its because of what he has overheard people saying within the party's own castle. Karv and Temel are NOT having it. A castlewide meeting is held, attendance is MANDATORY. Temel essencially gets up on stage, holds Stumpy up to the crowd, gets held up by Karv so that he can actually hold Stumpy up the the crowd, and very directly tells the crowd that the wyrmlings are good boys and anyone who dissagrees can GTFO.

And thats how a 5' nothing ceybaby baby bard got three baby dragosn to respect themselves as individuals and forced an entire castle to not judge their dragons for things they can't help and the party collectively prooved nature over nurture. It was the closest thing to a pacifist capaign we've had and it was a lot of fun.