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Hi there! As a requestober request could you please draw something cute with Mob? I'm planning on rewatching Mob Psycho 100 and it would be great to see fanart of him in your style! :D
Day 17 - She loves me, she loves me not...
#My art#Requestober#MP100#Shigeo Kageyama#This uh. This was Intended to be cute it was Meant to be cute I swear I was Trying for this to be cute#It still could be???? Turned out way way moodier than I meant it to be lol it was just Such a strong image in my head#Like I haven't had literally Any MP100 images pop up since I last doodled them it has been dead silent#But as soon as they came into my inbox this image placed itself very very firmly and strongly in my mind and that like - never happens lol#So I followed it! For funsies! Please enjoy my unfiltered brain-to-hand lol#Mob really is just a boy - he has simple hopes and desires! For all the amazing things he's capable of he wants for such small things#So to be able to sit and Loves Me Not over his crush with a dandelion and find beauty and magic in that <3#Everyone is appreciating dandelions today yes? We're all caught up on our love of dandelions currently?#Glowing yellow center <3 Not quite a sunflower but he'll work his way up to it :)#It's a bit funny - I've been itching to rewatch a specific episode of MP100 myself despite it not having been all That long since#The Reigen episode specifically the one where he strikes out on his own and it's all ''fine'' - it's an interesting one#I wonder if I've watched enough anime in the meanwhile to appreciate any more subversions haha#I did take a crack at OPM but I ended up leaving partway through S2....#But MP100 kept my attention the whole way through!! Very good series <3 Very good boy ♥
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our next tumblr theme might be drawn by us!!! <- Shockingly an Artist!!!
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yeah sure that's how i'll [re]come out
#zymart#zymtalk#rant in the tags ->#okay listen to me this is really important and also i have a witness. this was not intentionally supposed to be posted on june 1st#the stars just aligned for this to be at its funniest. which means its also easier for me to dismiss LOL#i drew this like a week ago after trying to draw a whole like. 5 page comic about it and then stopping it mid-board#bc it was horrifying imagining being perceived that much. so i needed to make it into a joke instead and this was the funniest route#and then i was like 'UGH. UGH!!!! i can not be 20 and deal with this like im 13. if i dont post it by the end of the week#then [the witness to all my rants on this topic. shoutout to twig bc they got the most of it] can joke abt it as if i did anyway'#and now its the end of the week and i looked at the date and went 'oh my god didnt may just start what happened'#'WAIT ITS JUNE FIRST. GOD. THATS TOO FUNNY TO NOT SAY SOMETHING' and who am i if i dont prioritize the bit honestly#in all honesty. kinda hate it! not bc of internalized homophobia but actually bc of internalized arophobia that has somehow been emphasized#after having my brain shift from '1000% aromantic without a doubt no exceptions' to 'just arospec ig lol??'#but tragically as it turns out. you can not just try and self analyze yourself into speedrunning closure.#horrible news for the oscar zymstarz community frankly#SO i needed a way 2 justify shoving this off my plate and into the trash as fast as possible.#im impatient and cant acknowledge my own emotions. its a flaw im working on it#oh and for all the ppl who know the running gag abt 'my allegations' [i do not have any real allegations for anyone not in jems server]:#that was in fact just a running gag for like well over a year and a half. like that was just a long running bit COMPLETELY unrelated to thi#i only started having this weird sexuality shift or whatever not too long ago lol. like long enough to go through 4 of the 5 stages of grie#[evidently bc like. im posting this. i got close enough to 5 to throw in the towel ykwim]#but on 'oscar zymstarz emotional acknowledgement' time that is....... not long.#but yeah ig tldr like. still ace [thank god] just arospec [probably demiro? i hate trying to figure out my own labels] instead of Aro now#idk none of this is that deep but also like it kinda is unfortunately bc i have to actually talk abt it to be able to ignore it ykwim#but i did! we're done talking abt it now! and now i can act like i dont care and try to make jokes about it to speedrun the rest of it#anyway. Happy Pride everyone. Fukign kitty.#side message to jem. by no means does this mean im not still gonna bully you. its a sign of love but also it is you specific bullying 🫶#you are not safe#edit: this is karma for saying 'thank god'. might be demiace too. this is the worst month of my life /j
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have to go pick up a washing machine tomorrow a coworker snagged for $75 [!] and lug it all the way upstairs [....] to hook up before somehow draining the old one [...] because it broke mid-cycle washing sheets not once but twice thrown up on by cat [...] and we can't even get it to drain [....] 🙏 and hopefully finish putting together a 2 weeks late little birthday gift box for my sibling because i literally forgot until the night before and wanted to die. and get my axle looked at cause it might be bent. day off ❤️
#j.txt#like i am unfathomably fortunate to have found a replacement like 3 days after it broke before i had to think abt like#driving to the next town over to use their laundromat but#even when people help me i cannot describe to them how little energy reserves i have that my day off is supposed to help replenish#and the coworker's dad is who im buying it from and also a mechanic so he's like he can finally look at your axle while we're at it!#and i can help you drain the old one and take it to the dump!#and im like ur literally an it's a wonderful life angel to me rn. but i have the energy to do like 1 of those things. barely#and i am already forcing myself to add at least 1 of the add ons too like i can't do all of that on my day off#i mean i could but i would like to not feel like killing myself 🙏 i am very over dramatic but that's#what it feels like to be helped to solve a problem but like i still have to solve it#which i want to and am thankful i get to but it still requires Effort i barely have 🤘😔#and also all of this specifically after my first week in my life having pretty significant enough to be alarming back pain#seemingly spontaneous. and reconsidering opting in for medical insurance bc of it while open enrollment is still. open#even though it will take a significant chunk out of my paychecks which is why i've opted out for 4 years before now 🙏#but i can barely sit in a chair when it's bad let alone lift shit at work and not knowing what caused it is alarming 👍#wow i'm really chatty today god. why is life so Much Happening All the Time.......
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google how to not be sosososo anxious all the time. its not even like stress that motivates me to get things done it's just like. i make a mistake and misunderstood instructions in class and my teacher is like "you were supposed to figure out precisely where 180 was before taping the draft and punching your marks" when i like an idiot guesstimated it and after a moment of me going "oh..." bc its something i can't fix bc i've already punched in all the holes on the part he's like "i think you'll be okay" and goes back to what he's doing and then for three hours im like he's so annoyed with me i bring things to him too much and ask him too many questions and make the stupidest mistakes every day he hates me. i ask a friend something and they don't respond because they're busy or forget about it or don't see it or any number of other reasons and then a couple weeks later i send them something else and they don't respond for a few hours and its enough time for me to convince myself i said something a while ago that they took offense to without realizing and they're ignoring me and i send another message saying "are you mad at me did i do something can you tell me what i did so we can work it out" and he's like "what?". a friend posts about people treating them badly in a way that's clear they're talking about a specific phenomenon or person and im always like omg are they talking about me did i do something bad and not realize it... and its someone i talk to so infrequently and casually it obviously would not be a concern or someone i've known for so many years that they would obviously come to me if there was any conflict that arose. help
#alex talks#one time that friend from the second example had to rescind an invitation for me to come to shabbat dinner bc he said his parents were#hosting an important rabbi and didn't want their sons friends dicking around in the house and i was like ok i get it and then another friend#mentioned to me something that implied they were still going to the friend's house and i had 2 class periods to stew and get anxious and#paranoid and think like does he hate me? does he just not want to invite me specifically? do his parents not like me did they ask him not to#invite me specifically? and then in advisory we're both just sitting there and im like 'so do your parents hate me' and he's like 'what????'#and i'm like 'jakob said they were still going to your house' and he's like '????? my parents told jakobs parents they could come and stay#overnight bc their parents are out of town so jakob has to come over' and i was like 'oh. sorry' and felt so bad about it for the entire day#honestly? now that im thinking about it so many times i've been like manic in that friends dms about something they said that i've made 10#leaps of logic over so in my head they said a completely different thing but to them i just sound insane and like i'm taking them in the#most bad faith i possibly can. which i guess really i am but i just get so worried#hm i guess manic is a specific word for a mental health symptom idk how else to describe it like i call him and leave a voicemail where ive#worked myself to tears over something i can't even remember now. maybe hysteric?#nobody reads these right
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This is a niche post and mostly just me trying to put my feelings into words I think
But realizing that my gender feels facetious not in the unhealthy, imposter syndrome-adjacent "I'm cis and pretending to be a man" way but in the much more based "I'm non-human and pretending to have a palatable gender" way has changed things for me a lot. For the better I'm pretty sure 👍
#solar talks#I'm way happier for it#still figuring out some parts#mainly how the whole non-human part works for me specifically#but we're getting there
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Sometimes I feel like I'm going crazy
You have... very very very very very very very very smart people you know, and they're say something that not only isn't true, but literally is as opposite of the truth as it's possible to be... and you'll... gently inform them "hey, it's actually a bit more like this" and then they just kinda... go on saying literally the exact same thing
I'm not sure if it's just that... I often feel like I must be very bad at communicating, or people must just not notice/ignore a lot of what I say, but... I don't know
Like dearest friend, you've said something as absurd as... I don't know, it's hard to say without saying it, but honest to god about as absurd as saying the United States was a part of the USSR, that level of completely getting it backwards
...and it just doesn't seem to matter when I try to explain it... I legit don't even know if you read what I said
Really end up feeling like I'm going nuts sometimes
#to be clear; I don't mind people disagreeing with me (though that's not what's happened here... I don't think I came into it at all)#but all I need in order to be able to work with disagreement is just... knowing you at least heard and understood me#like if it's 'I get that you think that vanilla is a good flavor of icecream; but I really prefer chocolate'... ok; this works for me#it's that... a lot of the time it honest feels more like 'what are you talking about? vanilla isn't a flavor' where... huh?#let's take a real example; not everyone needs to agree with me on nuclear#but like... someone saying 'I get that it's way safer these days; but I still worry about waste storage'... well ok then#but if it's just like 'but it's dangerous and will explode' even after I've explained about the designs now#where there's a salt plug that with melt and drain before anything can happen; and these materials don't like to run away#...and it's not like they're asking me to back up the source; it's like I never said anything at all...#what am I supposed to do here? you feel me on that? do you start to get why I feel like I'm going crazy when that's how it often feels?#no one is obliged to agree with me but... literally just active listening would fix this... say you heard me and we're good#acknowledge that I voiced something and it's been noted#honestly... honestly my who life it's felt like I must somehow actually be invisible#...to an extent maybe I'm a figment of my own imagination; I might well be a ghost that's lonely and makes you all up#...for all the impact my actions have#or maybe literally everything I say just comes out garbled... is that it?#this post is about something very specific; but it's also about something that happens a lot with a lot of different people#on a broader scale; why is it no one else seems to be able to connect the dots#and these aren't like... conspiracy theory dots; these are like russia buys drones from Iran; therefore russia and Iran are partners#that's the kind of dots I'm talking about connecting; please tell me that's not a conspiracy theory to you... it seems plain to me#I don't know... I really don't... I don't think much I say will ever have any impact anywhere on anyone#...honestly a good 90% of the time people don't even respond to what I say#not like my posts here; I mean direct in dms or whatever; I'll say stuff and it's just silence or a new subject#again; across multiple people; it's common... it's... I think it happens more often than it doesn't#I can instantly name 4 conversations with 4 different people that's happened with lately#and that's not counting the 3 where I know the reason why it's happened#I really am something unfit to live; the evidence is endless#mm tag so i can find things later
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(( Call me Announcer because I'm tired and I want to go home-))
#out of the studio (ooc)#((So many hours at work.... OTL ))#((at least i have monday off but it's been very VERY long days for me recently because someone recently quit so we're shorthanded.))#((so apologies for not posting recently. hope everyone's having fun with totally-not-any-specific-events in particular :) ))#((am still looking whenever i get the chance to at least))
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aaaaaaaaaaaa my legs are sooooo sore
#prince's talk tag#i did a lot of walking‚ standing‚ squatting‚ kneeling and posing at the con but bc im not used to doing that much my legs are killing me lol#im glad i took off yesterday and today to rest but oof im still drained#i did have a lot of fun tho#oh! i cant remember if i said this but i actually saw a coworker at the con. we're in different depts so i dont think she knows me well#but she had this cute ita bag where it was an art program and the 'canvas' is the window where you show off your pins#it was really cute and i was gonna stop her and ask where she got it but i chickened out last minute bc we dont talk at work#i dont really talk to a lot of people at work because im in the back and im not the type to initiate#but this coworker has interested me for a while now bc this isnt the first time ive seen her at this con#tho i didnt recognize the characters on her ita bag so we might have similar general interests but not specific ones#i told my friends about it and they were like 'you HAVE to ask her about the con when you go back to work'#and i am interested but i am still shy about it
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everything is really wrecked by people not knowing themselves, and not respecting each other, and not being able to communicate (reciprocally).
need to inject the definition of intimacy into peoples' brains. how do we do this.
#you're at the dinner table at my house right now. let's go.#it's so hard. bc everyone is stuck in pain at the same time.#where do you put in the idea of 'I hold firm in the truth of what I know about myself BUT ALSO allow you to communicate your truth'#'and then we have a mutually respectful discussion or parting ways or whatever comes out of this interaction'#WHERE DO WE PUT THAT in this current setting#there are so many reasons why any given person cannot do that right now.#too much emphasis on being in control of other people. probably because of The Way that The Systems That Be Are#ugh ugh ugh it all comes back to capitalism y'know? - in the sense of prioritizing making money over everything else.#it turns people into commodities. it makes people think of themselves as commodities#it builds entire nations on the backs of specific groups of people and leverages that power over and over again#until people cannot access their own desires or self image or a sense of calm#control control there's bosses everywhere#this system doesn't care. it makes people not care because as long as there's control the system is 'working.'#if people weren't clawing for their basic needs they could actually have the energy to build intimacy with one another#so props to everyone who is still trying to carve a space for that despite the Everything around them#huge props actually#and to everyone else. we're gonna do this. we're gonna figure this out
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i finished the merry wives of windsor today btw. 4 shakespeare plays left to go
#tales from diana#i'm in a pickle bc i've been burning through the remainders in the last year or so in a way that makes me... melancholic#i didnt hate merry wives even though i wasn't looking forward to it for a very long time bc i knew it was mostly prose#im neither a big falstaff fan (im sorry) not do i get the most charm from shakespeare from his prose#but admittedly it was still rather enjoyable as a comedy. you dont get a lot of fake cuckoldry plots from shakespeare specifically#not in comedy certainly! so i enjoyed the trickery of it#not the worst shakespeare play as far as pure entertainment value at all. nothing's as boring as henry viii#that one was a big disappointment#i have one play in each category left (counting the romances as their own category) (and counting kinsmen as his work)#coriolanus. king john. measure for measure actually! and two noble kinsmen#i know a lot about measure for measure already i just have never read it in full. twelfth night was like that as a reading experience too#i wasn't in a rush to get to it but in the case of measure. i wanted to get merry wives out of the way first#and leave my last pure comedy to be something i would almost certainly enjoy more#now im kind of in a pickle bc i feel the ecstasy of being tempted to just finish the complete plays already#but i also wanna pace myself and read other things#i kinda have this idea of what if i saved the last 4 to read in 2025? but we're not even halfway through 2024#i dont have that kinda patience#maybe ill reread some old favorites in the meantime or something. idk#i dont think i mentioned it on here but i got the rsc complete works second edition from 2022#last month! bc my riverside is in delicate condition. but i switched back between the two when reading merry wives#i just couldnt help it. i miss my mother. it's always going to be the most personally comfortable book for me to read from#i read the majority of these plays in that volume. that book TAUGHT ME to read shakespeare#but i need to be strong and i also enjoy comparative literary studies and a more recent book has a lot to offer#im yammering on to myself incoherently im sure nobody really cares what im saying. even i dont! ok goodbye goodnight
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users 10 years ago: i will request gifs from this gifmaker cause i love their gifs!
users today: i will request gifs from this gifmaker so someone else does all the work for me because i don't know how to make them and i can repost them on all my socials!
#i miss 2012-2014 tumblr so much man i hate this#like yeah reposting has always been a thing (i remember weheartit)#but at least people were more appreciative of us back then#and they always reblogged our creations. so making gifs WAS worth it#and idk i feel like people who repost nowadays are more malicious?#i've seen my gifs on twitter with my watermark cropped out multiple times#funny how they don't know how to make gifs yet they know how to crop them#very convenient 💀#anyways. if you request a specific gifset and the gifmaker does all that work for you at the very least you should reblog it :)#i stopped taking requests from a certain game years ago cause i found out the girlie who kept requesting me did not even reblog or like#that's what being a gifmaker nowadays is like 💖#i always say this but the reason there are still gifmakers here is because making gifs is our hobby and we like it#if we made gifs for the notes (which some people claim we're obsessed with 💀 the audacity) NO ONE would make them anymore#i'm pissed i'm pisseddddddddddd the fact that we gotta deal with those kinda comments too makes me crazy#anyways. no está pagada esta mi3rda#i even got people talking sh1t about my coloring like lol. lmao even
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okay i think i have a game plan. this is good i'm feeling good about this.
#0.txt#school thing might work out really well actually#the only thing is they only take fall admissions so i need to figure out if there is something#viable to do between now and fall of 2024. preferably even take classes and forward those credits but idk if its feasible. will ask#if not ig i'll just do some traveling??? or some sort of vacation lmaoo#i also obviously need to get admitted first LMAO#on the other end my mom is trying to get me to consider super top schools like mit or carnegie mellon#bc to be frank i do have a shot. but i really. don't want to move lmao like i love this area i have a fucking house here#i don't want to have to deal with selling all that to what. pay rent on the east coast. the school i am targeting also is still very good#and if they require me to take the gre i'm absolutely out lol#also i'm not going so much for the degree but for this specific lab that focuses on AR/VR and just general networking#ofc you can find that kind of shit elsewhere as well but isn't it so nice and convenient that it's HERE#anyways. we're so back babes
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Sigh. Nikola why must you be one of the more interesting oni characters. I don't wanna think abt you with your stupid spiky blond hair and your unethical science that mostly just serves to make Jackie more shitty by proxy. But I do. Because you're kind of orbo blorbo. Fuck you Nikola I hope you explode again
#rat rambles#oni posting#hes just extremely fascinating in the scientist crowd because he has a weirdly large presence in the like. actual meat of the lore.#like he has an actual arc that relates to the quote unquote plot of oni#he made the field around earth he made the neural vaculators (presumably) he contributed to the teleporters and was also involved with#some of the other projects in the bioengineering department and is one of the two scientists that we know for sure knew abt and worked with#duplicants and all of that and almost every instant of nikola being relevant hes only seen second hand#the One thing that we have that is Maybe directly from him is an email that hes the most likely canidate for#and I mean it Im pretty sure outside of that hes only ever either mentioned second hand or doesnt talk in the case of that one ellie email#even the one time we see proper dialogue from him it isnt even a recording its a second hand retelling from ruby#its soooo fascinating I dont even know if this was on purpose but I love it regardless#now tbf theres other characters who are also mostly if not only mentioned second hand but none that have as much of a lore presence as him#nails was close but then 'a seed is planted' dropped and they became a part of the troubling second hand nikola info club#watch them finally add ashkan dialogue and its just him talking abt nikola being involved in the puppy ai incident too or smth#the thing is that isnt even that out there nikola Did work on the teleporters and worked on somw gravitas time travel shit too so who knows#Im trying to think of theres anyone else whos mentioned in the logs but doesnt actually talk and I know there's steve and ada but hmmm#this isnt counting artifact or news artical specific mentions tbc we're talking within character dialogue#sorry meep mae and pei#WAIT cant believe I forgot abt devon rip bestie my sincerest apologies#I think thats it tho everyone else whos mentioned in dialogue has dialogue Im pretty sure#well direct dialogue I mean#oh tbc ashkan is also in that club#hes probably in second place on the weirdness of his lack of dialogue due to his striking presence in several log list#now tbf hes mentioned like 3 times I think? not counting artifacts ofc. so he's not talked abt That frequently#but one of those is in a paradox and the others are in story traits so its still interesting#I had already loved ashkan before doing my full lore dive so finding out this mysterious dr.ali was my boy ashkan was a delight#now ofc technically ashkan could have secret dialogue that we just dont know is him since we dont know his work id but still#we dont know nikolas either but nikola is likely in engineering and ashkan is likely in robotics so theyre both not likely to be them#they Could be as they do likely work with the bioengineering department but nikola is fully crossed out as the fossil guy at least#ashkan Could be the fossil guy but its not likely imo as theyre also the guy in the husbandry log implying theyre fully a biologist
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ren save me. ren. save me ren.
#woke up to find my cc was stolen by a gamer (tm) who bought multiple xbox games. every doctor under the sun is calling me.#found out my cardio stress test is going to take multiple hours + i have to fast until it's done (so like... until 1-2pm?)#and i have blood sugar issues AND i can't take my heart meds that manage my POTS beforehand. having A Day.#distracting myself by making some ren moodboards tho... i just need ppl to stop calling me ARGH.#i was also able to work on more blog back-ups which is nice. still have a couple more old ones#to do + backing up specific tags on certain blogs so i have to figure out the syntax for that in tumblr utils#but. we're getting there. getting anxious thinking about backing up old gif-making blogs tho. how big are those going to be...? 😖#and lowkey freaking out abt the future of this site. but we stay silly... we stay silly...#📌 [ my posts. ]#💭 [ my thoughts. ]#vent -
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im still conflicted about my placements for the little shop of horrors at the moment
#talking#CLICK SEE ALL IF YOU DARE.#norman as seymour is like. accurate because Look At Him you cant tell me he wouldnt get himself into that mess.#but at the same time ramona would fit the role really well also [“strange plants are my hobby”]#but ramona ALSO works for mr. mushnik#and i want to cast vannie as audrey ii because i mean its just really good. you eat blood audrey ii how am i supposed to keep feeding you#but if ramona was seymour it would make sense for me to cast sunny as audrey ii because of the outer space aspect of its character#and dont even get me started on the placements for audrey. if norman was seymour my first thought is obviously gonna be trip as audrey#because like at first glance its like Yeah that makes sense#but at a further glance NO IT DOESNT!!! audrey is shown to be fantasizing about wanting to move to a suburbia which trip canonically HATES#BUT!! at a FURTHER glance theres that shared aspect of wanting to get out of that awful town with the person you love!#so that part does check out! however if trip was cast as audrey then who would orin be? my thought for that would be debbie and i would jus#change the part where theyre like romantic because. ew. AND that would make sense because of the fact she would get eaten#by vannie specifically in this scenario. HOWEVER#if we're gonna roll with that and just change their relationship to each other i would ALSO have to change the fact that at the end#of the musical where SPOILER audrey dies and shes like ��i want you to feed me to the plant” because trip would not take that shit lying dow#BUT!! if im okay with changing peoples relationships to each other then technically if i wanted the orin thing to still work how it was#intended to then TECHNICALLY fern could get cast as audrey as well and him and norman could be hashtag platonic#but outside of miranda being cast as orin it wouldnt actually fit at all#anyway the reason im leaning more towards the norman/vannie/trip iteration#other than the fact that im more focused on those characters at the moment#is that with the ramona/sunshine iteration i have no idea who audrey would be because i havent really explored ramonas relationships#with other people as much outside of sunny and mina#and while mina fits the audrey personality a whole lot it wouldnt really work with the way her and ramona's dynamic is canonically#sigh. its a hard life for me. sorry for typing about this in the tags so much
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