#we're reviving his mother

[makeitmingi]

When Flowers Bloom In The Dark [Chapter 2]

Genre: Romance, Mafia!AU, Violence, Angst, Slow burn

Pairing: Hongjoong x Reader (y/n)

Characters: Florist!Reader, Mafioso!Hongjoong, Mafioso!Seonghwa, Mafioso!Yunho, Mafioso!Yeosang, Mafioso!San, Mafioso!Mingi, Mafioso!Wooyoung, Mafioso!Jongho

Summary: When you appeared and wept at his mother's funeral, Hongjoong found himself wanting to find out more about you. A regular girl, who owns a flower shop in his territory and has a relationship with the mother that he hasn't spoken to in years, why hasn't he ever noticed you before?

[Warning(s): 18+ for violence, use of weapons, smoking, alcohol consumption, slight gore, gang affiliation, tattoos and character deaths. Minors DNI. This is a work of fiction and does not represent the Ateez members in real life.]

Word count: 3.2K

With an iced tea in hand, you unlocked the glass doors of your shop and entered. You turned on the lights, placing your tea on the counter and your bag in your locker. Since you were the only worker here, there was no one else to use the lockers but you.

"Roses, tulips, carnations..." You grabbed your notepad to check the incoming deliveries today. The first thing you did was check on your plants and water them.

"You're growing well." You smiled softly, seeing the plant that you sprout, moving the pot away from the direct sunlight.

"(y/n)?" You heard the familiar voice of your supplier at the back door and went over.

"Good morning, Mr Lee. Do you have any surprises for me?" You giggled. You had a good relationship with all your suppliers, they always helped you bring in quality products.

"Well, besides your usual orders, I have some hydrangeas if you would like." He climbed into his truck.

"Here." He pushed the bucket to show you.

"Oh, they're absolutely beautiful. I'll take them." You smiled. He nodded and helped you bring everything in, he usually knew where everything went.

"Sunflowers aren't selling too well." You shook your head in disappointment, seeing your sunflowers there.

"Sunflowers aren't trendy anymore. Have you seen what's on the internet? My daughter told me that girls are content with just bouquets of baby's breaths now. How times have truly changed, right?" He chuckled with a click of his tongue. You nodded and moved the roses into the refrigerated area.

"It's a minimalist thing, no? Bigger isn't better anymore. No one comes in for traditional bouquets anymore." You sighed, going to the cash register to get the money.

"Tell me about it... And this should be everything." Mr Lee said, glancing over the flowers that he brought in.

"Thank you, this is the payment." You handed the money to him. He nodded and placed it in his pouch.

"Also, Mr Lee. I remember you mentioning that Mrs Lee keep getting her hands burnt when she's working at her restaurant. I made her an aloe balm. This should help soothe the burns." You held the tin out.

"Oh, you're too kind, (y/n). Thank you so much for making this." He patted your shoulder.

"Have a nice day. See you next week." You walked him out.

"See you." The both of you bowed to each other and he jumped into his van before driving off. You returned to your counter and began your work for the day.

"Let's see..." You checked the online orders that you had and printed it out for reference.

Moving to your work bench, you began to prepare the flower preparations for each other. You trimmed the stems, removed the excess leaves and cut thorns away before wrapping them up with either cellophane or tissue paper.

"Hello? Are you open?" The bell above the door jingled. A girl walked into store, carrying a pot with her. You cleaned your hands and walked out to the front.

"Yes, we're open. How can I help you?" You smiled.

"My fern seems to be wilting and I can't seem to revive it. Can you help?" She asked.

"Let's see what's the issue." You escorted in. She placed the pot on your work table and you inspected it. The girl patiently waited, watching you as you checked it.

"From what I see, the soil isn't draining water properly. It's retaining too much water and suffocating the roots of the plant." You said.

"What? Can that happen?" She blinked.

"Yes, so that suffocation prevents the roots from absorbing the vitamins and minerals. You should mix a well drainage soil of this ratio and move your fern in." You wrote the ingredients down.

"And I can find this at the plant store?" She asked, reading through what you wrote down.

"You should be able to find the components. But if you don't mind waiting, I can mix some for you to take home." You offered. Hearing that, she let out a sigh of relief and nodded her head excitedly. You went to your storage area to grab the different soil components that you need.

"Peat moss, sand and potting soil." You mixed the components into a bag, adding some fertiliser as well since the fern currently lacked essential nutrients.

"For two weeks, put two drops of this plant reviver into the soil even if you are not watering it." You handed her a small vial.

"Thank you. Actually, do you mind repotting it into the new soil for me? I'll pay you." She requested.

"Alright." You took the fern out and got rid of the old soil. You poured the new soil in, creating a well to put the fern in. After that, you loosely covered the roots with the soil.

"Done." You smiled, removing your gloves.

"Thank you. This is actually my mum's plant and I'm helping her take care of it. I know nothing about plants." She said in embarrassment.

"No worries, the plant should be fine from here. If there are anymore issues, you can come back." You chuckled and rang up her bill. She nodded and paid.

"Thanks again." She bowed and walked out of the shop. After that, you went back to preparing your orders. There were some pick ups today so you wanted to make sure that everything was in order for a smoother pick up.

"Hi, I'm here for a pick up?" A guy walked into the store.

"Sure, can I see your order number?" You asked. He showed you the confirmation email and went to retrieve his order. It was a flower box instead of a bouquet.

"Just make sure everything is okay for you before paying." You said, rounding the counter to the cashier.

"Do you mind changing the ribbons to pink too? She really likes pink." He requested.

"Of course." You grabbed the ribbon. With pink flowers, you wanted to add contrast with a different coloured bow but since he wants it to be pink, there was no issue with changing it.

"That's better. Thanks." He handed you his card.

"I wrote the congratulatory message as you stated in request email but if you'd like to write your own message. This is a spare card, on the house." You handed him the blank card.

"Thank you, I don't know what else to write but if I come up with something I'll add it." He rubbed the back of his neck with a sheepish smile. You hummed and rang up his bill, writing the invoice and handing him a copy, along with his credit card. With a grateful bow of his head, he left the shop.

Before you knew it, the clock hit 1pm, with customers coming in to buy, place advance orders or collect orders they've placed.

'Closed for lunch.'

You sat behind the counter with a tired sigh, taking out your lunch box. Your meals usually consisted of sandwiches or leftovers from dinner the night before.

Which was why Mrs Kim would usually come with food for you, always disapproving of how your eating habits.

RING!

"Sorry, we're closed at the moment." You said from behind the counter, not looking at the door. But you didn't hear the second ring of the door opening again so you stood up.

"Oh!" Your eyes widened in surprised as Hongjoong stood there, looking around the shop.

"Hongjoong sshi..." You blinked, maybe you were dreaming. Maybe your guilt was too much that the male was appearing in your dreams.

"Good afternoon, (y/n) sshi. Is this a bad time? Should I come back at another time?" He asked with a slight tilt of his head, fingers resting on the buttons of his blazer. You shook your head, reaching to get a tissue to wipe your mouth.

"It's fine. What can I help you with?" You came out from behind the counter to properly greet him. He patiently waited as you pulled a chair for him to sit.

"Please, would you like something to drink?" You offered.

"No, I'm fine. Actually, (y/n) sshi, I came to apologise for my reaction during my mother's funeral." He stood back up.

"What? There's nothing for you to apologise for, Hongjoong sshi. I should be the one apologising, I overstepped and said too much. It wasn't appropriate of me." You bowed deeply.

"You didn't overstep at all. Your intentions were good, I reacted poorly." He bowed back.

"No, you're grieving, it's normal." You smiled softly.

"Thank you for understanding." Hongjoong held his hand out but remembered that it was bandaged and cursed under his breath, hiding it and putting his other hand out for you to shake. If you were phased by his injury, you didn't show it. You smiled and slipped your hand into his to shake.

"I should go and let you carry on with your meal." He said once you both let go.

"No, it's fine. You can stay if you'd like." You smiled softly. He let out a small hum and continued to look around your shop, observing all the plants around.

"So, this is where my mother hung out?" He asked, picking up a stalk of rose from your work bench and twirling it.

"Sometimes... She would come for lunch or tea. We would just chat over food." You replied awkwardly.

How much were you supposed to say about Mrs Kim to her own son? You didn't want to sound like you were boasting about your time with her either, that wouldn't do any good.

"I see." He said, placing the flower back down.

"Hongjoong sshi..." You rubbed your arm, unsure of how to continue this conversation.

"Sorry for making you uncomfortable. Just... The truth is, you know a lot about my mother that I don't. You've spent time with her while I didn't so I can't help but feel curious. My relationship with her wasn't as good as she made it out of be." He informed.

"Oh. Hongjoong sshi, it's not my place to judge you or your relationship with Mrs Kim. Whatever relationship I had with her is vastly different from your own." You said.

"You're very kind, (y/n) sshi." He complimented. Your cheeks heated up in embarrassment.

"I should go." He stood up.

"Wait before you go. Your bandage, do you want me to help you replace it?" You pointed. Hongjoong looked down and saw the blood beginning to seep through.

"It's fine, I shouldn't take up more of your time." He shook his head.

"Not at all. I can help if you'd like." You offered. With a soft sigh, Hongjoong sat back down.

"I'll go get my medical kit. Be right back." You told him and went to the back room to get what you needed. You also took a salve that you usually used for wound care.

"I'm not a doctor but I am first aid certified and I study medical plants in botany so you don't have to worry." You smiled and took a pair of cutters to cut away the bandages that Yeosang had wrapped around Hongjoong's hand. Hongjoong quietly observed you, not saying anything else while you focussed.

"I made this salve for wounds. It should help with soothing the wounds and healing." You explained, cleaning the blood.

"Do you always make your own medicine?" He asked.

"No, I just make simple stuff. I'm still learning." You giggled, tucking your hair behind your ear before applying a thin layer of the salve over the cuts and wounds.

"Does it hurt?" You looked up at him. He shook his head and you sighed in relief.

"You can bring that home with you to apply when you change bandages. I have some more." You explained.

"You do a better job than my brother." Hongjoong said after observing how you properly wrapped a new bandage around his hand and secured it in place.

"You should remove the bandage after 3 days to let the wounds breathe and dry." You said.

The entire time, you never once asked Hongjoong about how he got injured or acted differently. You treated it like any other scrapped knee and healed him. Usually, people would be scared or ask him how he got injured like that.

"Thanks." He looked at his newly bandaged hand.

"You're very welcome. If you see signs of infection or get a fever, go to a doctor." You advised. He nodded and took the small pot of salve, putting it into his pocket.

Will he use it? Probably not. But he saw how dedicated you were and for some reason, didn't want to disappoint you by not taking it.

"Bye, Hongjoong sshi. I'll see you around?" You blinked at your own words, uncertainty in your voice.

"Have a nice day, (y/n) sshi." He didn't address it, merely bowing his head and leaving your shop. You let out a long exhale, feeling like you've been holding your breath the entire time.

"Ah!" You suddenly remembered the silk handkerchief that you had washed and in your bag.

"Too distracted." You scratched your head and went to the counter to eat a few more bites of your lunch before you had to reopen.

You were not too bothered that you hadn't returned the handkerchief to Hongjoong. Even if you did feel guilty, you had an inkling that you would be seeing Hongjoong again soon. What ate at you more was how foreign Hongjoong spoke about his mother, like she was a stranger that he didn't know.

"Hongjoong, where are you?"

"I went out to run an errand, Seonghwa. Don't worry, I didn't drive. I got the driver." Hongjoong sighed, sinking into the backseat of the Rolls Royce he was in.

"I'm not worried about that. I just wanted to make sure you didn't do something dumb like blow up a building."

"Geez that happened ONCE, let it go... And I'm going to work, I have to go to my club." Hongjoong said, looking at his bandaged hand.

"You don't have to go back to work right away, Hongjoong. The boys and I can take over while you take a few days. You've needed to take a break for a while."

"I'm the leader of Ateez, Seonghwa. I don't need all of you to take over my work." Hongjoong replied.

"But..."

"Yes, my mother died. But sitting around isn't going to bring her back to life. I still have roles to fulfill, I'm not going to let anyone strike us just because I'm down. There are people counting on us, relying on us." He continued.

"Alright. Stay safe then, Hongjoong. I'll see you at the docks meeting at 5pm?"

"Yeah, thanks Seonghwa. I'll see you later." Hongjoong hummed and hung up. The car stopped before Hongjoong's club and the manager came out, opening the door for him.

"Good afternoon, Mr Kim." The manager bowed. The club wasn't open yet so Hongjoong could get some administrative work done.

"Get me a drink and come up to the office." Hongjoong said, walking into the club.

"Yes, sir." He bowed. Upon his entrance, all the workers stopped and bowed down to greet their boss This was the main club Hongjoong worked out of so they were used to seeing him around.

"Give me 10 minutes. No one is to enter." Hongjoong told the guard who stood by his office door.

"Yes, sir." The guard bowed.

Hongjoong entered his office and sat down in his chair. There were some things he needed to do and catch up on privately, without any interruptions. As the leader of Ateez, he had to keep track of the other Ateez members and their work, on top of his own. But the boys always did their work so it wasn't hard on him.

*KNOCK KNOCK*

"S-Sir?" Hongjoong heard the timid voice of the club manager outside his door, making him look up from his phone where he was sending messages to Yunho.

"Has it been 10 minutes?" Hongjoong asked back, tucking his phone into his blazer pocket.

"Yes, sir." The male on the other side replied.

"Come in." Hongjoong said. The door opened and the male came in with his iPad and Hongjoong's whiskey in hand. Hongjoong nodded over to the chair and the manager bowed, taking a seat opposite him.

"Update me." Hongjoong took a sip of his drink. The manager began to update Hongjoong on the business.

"We have been thinking of letting our bartending apprentice go. He had been drinking on the job and getting drunk." He informed.

"Who?" Hongjoong leaned forward.

"This is his profile. The next page has some employee complaints and customer complaints that were logged." The manager informed, pulling up the ex employee's profile and handing it over to Hongjoong to look it over.

"I won't read this, let him go. I won't let anyone be caught lacking in my business. One complaint is as good as ten. Make him compensate for what alcohol he took." Hongjoong instructed.

"Of course, sir." The manager nodded, taking back the iPad and going through the other updates.

"Continue to manage necessary manpower and suppliers to the club. Revenue is still good." Hongjoong told him.

"I will. Thank you for giving me this responsibility, sir." The manager bowed from his seat.

"This is the list of VIPs coming. As usual, make sure they are well taken care of." Hongjoong slid over the list of VIP names and the dates that they would be coming.

"Of course." The manager folded the paper and put it in his pocket.

"You can go." With that, Hongjoong waved him off and he left. Hongjoong may seem cold and merciless but he treats his employees right, at least those that do their job well. He is a perfectionist and always wants the best, there shouldn't be anything that's lacking when it came to his business.

"Send Wooyoung and San for that private poker game. That's wheret they'll meet our informant." Hongjoong said to those that were in the group call.

"Oooh, I can get a new suit done." Wooyoung's focus and excitement was obviously on other things.

"What about the governor meeting that's coming up, hyung? Are you going with Seonghwa hyung?" Jongho asked.

"Seonghwa should go with Yunho. They know how to work the charm. Plus the governor's wife seems to favour Yunho." Hongjoong thought out loud, making the other laugh.

"No one can resist that face." Seonghwa chuckled.

"Yunho's ears just turned bright red." Yeosang informed and the others could hear Yunho's yell of protest in the background.

"Wait, what time is Seonghwa hyung and Hongjoong hyung settling the issue at the docks? I want to tag along, I could use some action. It'll be fun." Mingi asked.

"Oh! Me too! If Mingi's going, I want to go!" San agreed. Hongjoong could hear Seonghwa wanting to interject but it was ignored. Hongjoong and Seonghwa could never fight the younger ones, they were simply outnumbered.

"You guys always make a mess when you get involved... This time, call your own clean up crew." Seonghwa hissed.

"You gave in way too easily, Seonghwa ah." Hongjoong laughed and leaned back into his seat.

"I already have enough to think about. I have to pick my battles. Plus, if they can handle it for us, I won't risk getting blood on my new coat." Seonghwa said.

~

Series masterlist

[iiiiiiis-things]

Y/N MAKES: PANCAKES

pairing: Duke Dennis x femblack!reader

cw: MENTIONS of fingering, kai being a dumbass, agent is your twin, that's it ??

blurb: soooo yeah i rmb watching markiplier makes literally all the time so this may or may not be a series.

a/n: ummm hey ?? 😂 yes ik i've been gone i'm gonna keep it real school is rlly taking over everything so i won't be posting as frequent i'll post like once or twice a month unless it's a reblog.. but in the summer i do intend to be more present !! (may or may not drop something in valentine's day we'll see 😗)

"duke get your ass in here" he walks infront of you and kai to get to his side of the table and you take the opportunity to smack his ass with the spatula

"bae."

*smack*

"dawg."

*smack*

"ouch! nigga stop!"

he turns around giving you a stank eye rubbing his ass cheek

________

"once upon a time, in New York City, the bronx. there was a woman who dreamed a dream. to take the previously made invention of pancakes and turn it into something incredibly new and interesting and zesty." before you could finish your intro kai cuts in from the back

"woah"

"kai shut the fuck up"

________

"i have decided that it should be up to me a fine ass black woman to revive the art of lost art...of pancake... art"

"you're doing great babe"

"duke."

rolling your eyes you take a deep breath and continue on to introduce your 'guest' "but as much as i wanted to, this fine ass black woman can't do it alone i present to you." you slam your hands down on the table creating a loud boom before lifting your hand up to your right

Duke walks into the frame and made the poor choice to get his revenge and smack the hell out of your ass with his spatula, which resulted in you smacking the hell out of the side of his fat ass head "known for his strong ass flipping capability, if he were to flip at 100% capacity he would annihilate the entire universe- and trust me. i know" a smile spreads across your face as you you make eye contact with him, he laughs before resuming his composure staring at the camera with an intense look "a lot of people may call him by his nick name 'duke dennis'" you use finger quotes around his name "but his legal name is actually my man. sooo"

"it is?"

"yes it is."

he sides eye you "ion-"

"NEXT! we have the crust nestor" you raise your left hand as Kai walks in rubbing his chin as if he fine or something "if you were to even question anybody who has the greatest, crispiest, goldenest crust" "i don't think that's a word" your brother leans over and whispers

"kai"

"my bad"

"as i was saying. the greatest, crispiest, goldenest crust in the world.. they would say my brother" you stretch your hands out as you describe him. kai brows furrows at his introductory "i have a name" you look over to him and there was just silence before the video was cut to the next clip

"and if you're wondering who I am, among the two negros standing next to me well, i can't believe you dont recognize me"

"your not that popular" Kai says shaking his head in denial and laying his palms flat on the table

"okay you know what, kai.. you getting on my last nerve" you turn your body around to fully face him lowering your tone as like your mother did anytime she was about to pop the shit out of him for asking to get something from the store "i'm sorry" his head hangs low and Duke turns his head to the side and brings a hand to cover his mouth, hiding his smile.

"like i let you be in my video" "i know, i know" Kai shakes his head "and you come in here disrespecting me like i won't slap the shit out of you" you make italian hands and cock your head to the side "ok sis, i'm sorry" rolling your eyes you wrap up your introduction.

"now let's get started and with this trio of perfection, how could anything go wrong?"

________

the next clips shows you slamming the bag of flour on the table in front of you as your boyfriend and brother line it up with everything else "we're going in RAW, unpro-" before you can finish your sentence Kai bursts outs laughing and Duke joins him causing you to roll your eyes.

"we're not using recipes! we're not using measuring cups! we've been doing this for hundreds of years" you side eye duke and point his way "him fasho- but uh we totally know EXACTLY, what to do with the ingredients on display on the table on th- here.. on the table.. displayed-here..." (i actually had a stroke writing this)

"it's ok, take your time baby"

"alright, whatever we're starting now. twin give us the count down" agent starts to count down from three and you immediately go for the flour "also i forgot to mention that someone-" you glare at Duke pouring at least 1 cup of flour in your bowl "forgot the buttermilk" for some reason the first thing Kai did was spray his bowl with pam which Duke notices "the fuck?" he stops pouring the sugar in his bowl to look at Kai because for some reason the next thing he decides to do is pour in the milk.

"see unlike these two idiots, i know that your supposed mix the dry ingredients first" you say glancing up at the camera "where are the spoons?" you look around the table as Kai lifts his head and winces "oh shitttttt- my bad yall"

"nigga"

"are you serious?"

you then smack your lips "fuck it" you start to mix the dry mix with your hands after doing that you grab the vegetable oil and pour just a little inside "ice spice is so fine" Kai grabs an egg cracking it inside "she wants me to be in her new music video" Duke furrows his eyebrows grabbing the oil from you "you?" you grab the carton of eggs from Kai's side of the table "yes. me nigga" kai smacks his lips as you accidentally bump into him knocking almost half his mixture out of his bowl "my bad"

"so as you can see my opponents being the dumbass they are used two eggs when your only supposed to used one" you use your white girl voice as you crack an egg into your bowl "yall this how I be in y/n pussy" you look at duke who holds up the bowl and starts to use his middle and ring finger to mix his pancake solution "boy stop lying you be like this" you lift your fingers creating a 'c' motion duke smacks his lips and stops you "girl no the fuck i don't, i be like-" before he could correct me kai yells at us with a face of disgust "OKAY we get it god damn"

_______

after playing around for a little bit time eventually runs out and the three of you attempt to create at least a few decent pancakes "we have syrup right?" Kai asks "duh why the fuck would we have pancakes and no syrup?" Duke responds to Kai. he smacks his lips and his brows come together as he starts to get irritated "bro didn't you forget the buttermilk?" "didn't u forget the spoons?" "okay but at least-"

"oh my god both of y'all shut the fuck up."

you all finish up your pancakes in separate rooms to create a little bit of suspense and to see who pancakes turned out the best and after setting the camera back up it was time to present.

"hey guys" agent waves at the camera as he fixes the flash "i'm going to be the judge of everyone waffles" you look up and fixes his statement "pancakes" "same difference"

______

"why the fuck is it hard?" agent tries to cut Kai black ass pancake with a knife but it doesn't budge "and black" Duke adds trying to get Kai eliminated but the way your twin was struggling to slice it was already enough. "you see it was a visual representation of my sister" Kai uses his arms to explain as you step forward "nigga u tryna be funny? alls i see is a black ass blob"

"it was supposed to be a monkey."

agent ends up picking up the mess with his hand, but it was so hard he couldn't even take a bite..

"alright next." he moves over next to you and removes the lid on top of your plate and he immediately begins laughing. Duke and Kai comes up to see what so funny as they soon realized what you created "i was inspired by the song peaches and eggplants featuring sexyy red and mulatto" your white girl voice comes back as you hold up the plate for the camera to see. obviously it was a peach and eggplant you even took the time to color your batter but what agent found so hilarious was the powdered sugar and whip cream spread across the peach and syrup leaking from the tip of the eggplant.

"alright, alright cmon lemme taste it" he grabs a fork and begins to slice through "hey!! i can cut through this one!" Duke laugh booms throughout the house as Kai rolls his eyes, after successfully cutting a nice piece of the peach he stuffs it into his mouth and begins chewing "mmm." you look at him with momma lips telling him he better say something good or he was gonna be fired "i mean yeah it's good. like real shit. but-" you whip your head to him seeing what else he has to say "wayyy to much whip cream, it makes the waffle extra sweet it would've been better with a drizzle of syrup" you once again correct him "pancakes" "shut up, tomato tomata"

"ok duke you ready?" "no" " to bad" he removes the lid exposing his pancake which didn't look bad at all but he forgot one thing "just normal waffles?" you scream from behind the camera "PANCAKES" "I KNOW WHAT I SAID" your boyfriend breaks up the small bickering "well shit how was i supposed to know we was making eggplants and monkeys? ain't nobody told me shit." he shrugs as agent cuts through his pancake and drowns it in syrup that spilt over on the plate before stuffing it in his mouth "mmm. it's not bad" you walk back into the camera frame wrapping your arms around Duke waist giving him a peck on the cheek which makes him grin "don't playyyy! see my baby can cook!" "but-" "damnit never mind" duke frowns as he catches an attitude and removes your arms from around him and agent continues "i don't know what the fuck u did but this is the chewiest waffle i ever tasted"

you walk over to the plate and you grab another fork to taste, cutting a small triangular piece you bite the tip off immediately realizing what twin was talking about "it's not necessarily chewy... it's like.. doughy" waving Duke over he walks up behind you wrapping one arm around your waist. lifting up the fork with leftover pancake on it you bring it to his mouth as he takes a big ass bite stuffing the rest in his mouth. Duke chews and chews soon swallowing "i don't see what yall talking 'bout that shit good" he points to his plate. Kai pops up out of nowhere with a fork squeezing inbetween you and agent trying to snag a piece he rolls his eyes and leaves back behind the camera to make sure it was still recording. "what the shit ?? this shit taste like ass" Kai immediately spits it out and Duek smacks his lips "nigga stop playing wimme that shit taste amazing!"

you move over grabbing your own plate over so the three of you can taste it. you and your brother both take a bite of the eggplant as Duke waits patiently for you to feed it to him "mmm. yeahh thats perfect. i don't even wanna taste the peach" kai shakes his head in disbelief that you actually made a decent pancake, rolling your eyes u feed duke a small piece of the eggplant, being a little nervous for his reaction "mmhm." he balls his fist bringing it to his mouth "oh yeah" he points towards your plate "that's the shit right there" you smile glad that he took a liking to your creation "thank you baby" you give him a kiss and Kai once again interrupts "ALRIGHT, my turn!"

"i'm not eating that shit."

[wilwheaton]

favorite goncharov character

Goncharov! Holy shit I haven't thought about Goncharov in YEARS!

I remember seeing it at the Vista theatre downtown in ... I want to say 1983? It was either 82 and I was 10, or 83 and I was 11. Now that I think about it, it must have been Spring of 83. I remember that Kimmy Mendini was my babysitter, and she drove my friend Ahmed and me all the way downtown to see Goncharov. She would have been at least 16, but I feel like she was a little older. I remember that she LOVED movies and just never stopped talking about European cinema.

Ha! I can still her her sort of roll "Cinema" out of her mouth. Movies were for the masses to watch, while sophisticated adults experienced Cinema. I'm just realizing now that she absolutely pronounced it with a capital C. She was like "you are so lucky to see a clean print of Goncharov!"

I had no idea what a clean print was, but I understood it was important and impressive.

She had read about this screening in the LA Weekly, which I didn't know at the time was TREMENDOUSLY subversive in our suburban part of Los Angeles County, and we were going to an old theatre in maybe not the greatest part of town, but Kimmy had been watching me since I was in second grade and was like my big sister. I knew we'd be safe with her.

That old theatre (which is now a fucking swap meet) was just so beautiful inside. 100 foot ceilings, box seats, gold paint and murals. It felt like a place you went to experience Cinema, but, like ... it had absolutely seen better days. I remember that I felt kind of bad for the place, a little embarrassed, like when I got a good grade and accidentally made eye contact with a friend who got a D.

Okay. This clearly hit a memory artery, and I appreciate you staying with me this far, when we finally get to the fireworks factory. We're walking up to the box office, and she tells Ahmed and me that we have to wait on the sidewalk, because *technically* it's rated R, and she's not our legal guardian, but what does this guy making two bucks an hour know about art anyway?

So we wait. She buys the tickets, and then we all walk in as casually as we can.

I remember how scared I was that we were going to get caught and they'd call the cops (that's how it worked in my anxiety-ridden brain), but literally nobody cared. The theatre wasn't even half full, and everyone there was a dude at least as old as my parents.

You know the story, so I don't have to recount all of it, but I can at this very moment remember how shocked I was when Bruno was shot. This was the first time, ever, I had felt an emotional connection to a character. I didn't cry when Bambi's mother was shot, I didn't cry when ET died, I didn't cry E V E R.

But when Bruno died? I didn't make a sound. I just silently wept. Tears just poured down my face and I wanted to roll back time, rewrite the movie, and get him out of that room.

I obviously understand now, all these years later why I connected to him and why his story meant and means so much to me, but at the time I had no idea. I just thought the actors were that good.

I can't believe that guy who played him died so young. I think he was like 40? I remember thinking that was old. Now I know different.

When the movie was over, Kimmy asked us how we liked it. Ahmed was obsessed with the photography (he grew up to be an illustrator), and I obviously had my Bruno Moment.

We got Thrifty ice cream on the way home and listened to Donna Summer in her Datsun.

I haven't thought about Goncharov or Cinema or Kimmy in FOREVER. Leave it to Tumblr to boost my nostalgia check to a natural 20.

tl;dr: Bruno. I know he's supposed to be that character we all hate, and there are so many valid reasons for that. But when I was 12 ... well, I was a different person.

Oh! And now that I know what a "clean print" is, having seen so many "dirty prints" in revival houses before they all turned into swap meets or churches (hey, two places where people sell you stuff and take your money!), I retroactively appreciate it in a way that would make Kimmy happy.

Thanks for the trip into the crumbling mall that is my childhood memories. I haven't been here in awhile and it was nice to visit.

[thewertsearch]

Anonymous asked: You: "Wow Homestuck is my favorite comic ever! Kanaya is the best :)" Hussie: "LOL, LMAO" @morganwick asked: (Try not to think about the idea that the conversation future Jade alluded to where Kanaya got the password was the one with past Jade that immediately followed that conversation, and that Jade is waiting for a password from Kanaya that'll never come…) @bladekindeyewear asked: [...] regarding the password Jade said earlier she had been patiently waiting for… unfortunately, I think we saw Jade give her said password just before the walkaround… and in hindsight, it’s quite a regrettable one. “GG: the password is…………… GG: CROOOOOOOOOOOAK”

I had the same chilling thought over the weekend.

Yes, it's very possible that Kanaya closed her password loop in her very next conversation, which means the timeline doesn't actually require her to be resurrected. This removes the main piece of evidence I had that she's coming back - but even so, I still don't think she's gone for good.

What it boils down to, basically, is that Kanaya still has a lot to do.

First of all, her arc surrounding the survival of her race is still unresolved. Sure, someone like Karkat or fellow Space girl Jade could pick up the baton, but this arc isn't theirs. Jade has no personal investment in it, and Karkat, while obviously motivated to save his species, isn't connected to the Matriorb or Mother Grub the way Kanaya is. This revival plotline is hers, and right now, it's dangling like a loose thread.

If that was the only narrative issue, I could look past it - but it's not.

Guys, this was her last conversation with Rose. And I'm sorry, but I just don't believe that one of the longest-running ships in the comic would end here. Kanaya's romantic arc with Rose is really just getting started, and their last conversation really doesn't scan as a goodbye, even in retrospect.

Like, sure, these last words would be kind of ironic, but is this really how you close the door on one of the most kickass compelling relationships we have? Rosemary deserves a better death than this.

Speaking of which...

This is how we're disposing of Kanaya? With an (admittedly kind of funny) SBaHJ reference?

Bro, a significantly less important character, gets a dramatic death pose, framed by one of Karkat's best lines, and Kanaya - Kanaya Fucking Maryam - gets a sparkly Hope wand and a meme? I'm calling bullshit.

Now, Homestuck is more than happy to give its characters undignified deaths. Tavros certainly got one - but Tavros also died at the end of an intense, dramatic flash animation, and his murder served as the culmination of the Vriska/Tavros arc we've been following since early Hivebent. Tavros died without dignity, but the narrative weight of his death was enormous.

Kanaya died in the middle of multiple character arcs, in a manner that lacked dignity or narrative weight. She was essentially collateral damage to an unrelated feud between Eridan and Feferi. She died like a secondary character, and she's not.

I'm self-aware enough to admit that this is partially wishful thinking. It's not like I'm an unbiased observer - Kanaya is my favorite character, and I dug deep into the comic for evidence that her death doesn't make sense. But, that said - her death doesn't make sense. My narrative instincts are telling me that Kanaya is coming back - I just don't know how.

[serymn31]

Here are Helaegon one-shot fics I've written for HotD for the course of season 2. Nothing like a show's bad writing and a hater to motivate me to be productive. I will be writing for other pairings soon and also focusing on a few multi-chapters.

shadow and dust

Aegon is with Helaena during their son’s funeral procession instead of their mother. He learns how to use the people's grief for him to his advantage. (warning: dead dove)

falling to our ruin

Aegon is brought home broken and burned, and only Helaena's touch brings him comfort. Post-Rook's Rest hurt/comfort

before we're gone

As Helaena loses herself in grief, Aegon tries to do what he can to save her. One night, she escapes on her dragon to end it all. Aegon has to find her and bring her back home, back to him.

your beautiful burning

Aegon and Helaena cannot comfort each other with words, so they deal with their grief in the only way they know how - in touches of pain.

~

I can't express what Helaegon means to me, it single-handedly revived me from years of writer's block and made me write again. I also continued a multi-chapter, hollow heart, which will be ending/wrapping up soon.

[azureandcrimson]

LMK Headcanons!!

Just some (a lot of) headcanons of mine I wanted to share! :] ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Wukong can sleep through a full on war, in any position any place. Macaque absolutely can not, he has to be somewhere safe, quiet, and he has to feel protected to get any sleep. Macaque and Redson have Sensory Issues.

Redson has gold blood. Macaque trained and/or adopted Spindrax (HER NAME TRANSLATES INTO PRINCESS SHADOWS IN JAPENSE AND INTO PHANTOM SPIDER IN TAIWANESE, HOW COULD I REFUSE THE CHANCE?!) And he also adopts or is a Mother/Father figure to Bai He (Mamacaque) Macaque, Redson and Mei all have burn scars, Macaque from Diyu, Redson from his fire powers and Mei from the Samadhi Fire. Wukongs ex's are Spider Queen and Azure, and, Macaques ex is Scorpion Queen. Mk is Trans Masc and Gay. Macaque is Trans Masc, Non-Bianary and Bisexual. Wukong is Trans Fem, Gender-Fluid and Pansexual. Redson is Gender-Fluid and Bisexual. Sandy is Pansexaul and Asexual. Mei is Lesbian. Spindrax is Lesbian. Pigsy is Bisexual. Tang is Gay. Bai he is Trans Fem. Macaque, Princess Iron Fan, Chang'e and Mei. They all meet up and gossip, have a texting group too (There going to go to jail for what they text to each other if it ever get's out to public) Macaque and Wukong got shoved into Sandys cat therapy by Mei, Chang'e, Mk and Princess Iron Fan after Season 4, (Then Mk also started to go after Season 5) Macaque has a pet Flerken named Estelle (I'M BREAKING THE MULTIVERSE, YOU CAN'T STOP ME) Macaque's a Pyromaniac and has burned himself on purpose has a record for Arson!! :3 After Macaques revival. He doesn't have a heartbeat anymore, and, he's always has a freezing cold temperature, he's cold no matter how hot it is outside, or how many blankets he has, he can only be warmed by other body heat (but he's touch averse) or fire (That's how he got obsession with fire). Then you have Wukong and Redson who are like personal heaters 24/7. After LBD. Macaques head was fuzzy, his memories we're all over the place, he didn't know real from fake, he eventually had breakdowns, trying to figure out right from wrong. Wukongs War Form. (WE NEED TO SEE IT HELLO??) I think it would have three tails, three heads, four arms, a gold color with red accents + White eyes and Claws. Mk also has four ears, three tails he can hide in his monkey form. Macaque can hide his emotions really well, but when he's feeling uneasy, nervous or panicked his Shadow Powers will swirl around him and flicker. Some Headcanons of their Favorite Songs!! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Macaque - Girl With One Eye, Contards Solution, Drunk-Dazed, Dead Girl Walking (HE'S THE ULTIMATE BILLIE ELISH AND AYESHA AND ISABEL LAROSA FAN!!) Mk - Mr Sunshine is dead, Juliet Redson - Alejandro Wukong - Ex's & Oh's, UNBELIVEABLE, Everybody Loves Me. Mei - HOT TO GO! Some Headcanon Fears!! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Wukong - Fear of Death. Fear of being Forgotten. Fear of Small Spaces. Macaque - Fear of Failure. Fear of Thunder/Lightning. A small fear of Small Spaces. Fear of being Abandoned. Fear of Losing Control (He's already lost control once. He can't afford to do it again.) Mk - Fear of Spiders. Fear of Abandoned. Tang - Fear of Women/jk, I'm joking I swear. Fear of being left behind. Redson - Fear of Failure. Fear of Imperfection. Fear of being Abandoned. He had a fear of Water that Mei and Mk helped him get over. Fear of Being Alone (Sense the Samadhi Fire when he was young) Mei - Fear of being Forgotten.

[vashtijoy]

I've been wondering about this since I played for the first time, but do you happen to know if in Ann's rank 9, is Joker's platonic dialogue option ("You have the others.") the same in Japanese? did a weird translation happen here or is this line strange no matter what? 😂

Sincerely, I ask you. Look at Ann crying, then look at this boy. What an insensitive clod. What a total muppet. Have you ever seen the like?

You won't be surprised to hear that this appears to be a translation boo-boo.

みんなが��る minna ga iru You have the others. We're all here for you.

minna means "everyone", and often excludes the speaker—but just like the English "everyone", it can also include the speaker, depending on context. Here are a few examples from the P5 script:

Futaba (telling Ryuji everyone present will tell Sojiro on him) ここにいるみんなが証人だ。 koko ni iru minna ga shounin da Everyone here is a witness. Maruki (after his awakening to Adam Kadmon) みんなが望む⋯現実を⋯ minna ga nozomu... genjitsu o... The reality… we wish for… Gentle-Looking Mother (in Maruki's reality, after the revival of Kotaro, their formerly-dead dog) 今のまま、みんなが幸せに暮らせるの。 ima no mama, minna ga shiawase ni kuraseru no All of us can live happily together here…

In the first example, Futaba uses minna to include herself, but exclude Ryuji. In the second, we know Maruki presumably wishes for his own reality, so his minna includes him. In the third, the Gentle Mother is talking about how their family can all live together now—including her.

So while minna ga doesn't always exclude the speaker, Joker's response has been translated as if it did. Of course he doesn't brush crying Ann off with "well, I can't stand you, but everyone else likes you just fine"! He was supposed to say that she had the whole group, their entire friend group, including him.

This is why Ann goes on to talk about that group—which certainly includes Joker:

Ann 今の私には、仲間がいる。 ima no watashi ni wa, nakama ga iru I have our team now.

How would I translate it? Probably, as up at the top, "we're all here for you". Joker's often not actually a dick, he's just translated that way. C'est la vie.

revision history

Click here for the latest version.

v1.0 (2023/10/20)—first published.

[projectcrimson]

Headcanons for WHB! MC

• Since we aren't normal (our bloodline is from a notorious man whore of a sorcerer and the game description said we're going to have God's powers) to begin with, let's lean into the flaws of being Asian. You know, competition to be the best, pressure, exceeding expectations, that jazz.

• Your mother, Lilian Alinoshka, is part of the underground crime syndicate. Once became the leader to slaughter others because of her hatred and anger towards her family until she met your father that she fought for love and protect her family from harm.

• Your father, Horimiya Haru, met Lilian when he accidentally walked by her disposing a social elite's body. When her knife was on his throat he fell in love and, long story short, that's how they got married and had you.

• She has her reasons to be strict with you, she still hasn't recovered from her past trauma from her parents did to her even though she denies it, she wants to keep her family safe from all harm and grant you a bright future.

• Minhyeok is the first friend, love, and person who helped you learn that your life doesn't have to revolve around studying or following your mother's plans for your future.

• And you know what? Since we're a Descentdant of a sorcerer, our father was the Descendant of Solomon and our mother was in the bloodline that's a part of a God. Which makes us a Demigod. That is also the reason why Gabriel killed both parents, one is a part of the bloodline of the person he hates while the other is a part of something that could go against the Seraphims cause of "reviving" God.

• Whenever MC is around Minhyeok, they would feel like a lovesick teenager and act like a fool. Which is the opposite to how much they were forced to grow up when their parents died.

• MC filled in the place of leader in the Syndicate after their mother passed at the age of 13.

• MC fell in love with Minhyeok further when he saved their life. (I will write MC's backstory soon so feel free to follow me to have an immediate update.)

• MC disbanded the Syndicate after eliminating anything that would harm their peaceful life with Minhyeok and their siblings.

• MC blushes at the mention of Minhyeok or recalling any memories with him. They write each other letters, occasionally with photos, twice a week to update on your own condition and to check on the twins in his care.

• MC keeps all the letters and photos in a drawer so you can read through them again whenever you are stressed with the war between the Demons and Angels. Sitri once opened the drawer and "accidentally" burnt two of the letters that contained a picture of Minhyeok, you ignored him for a week. He didn't regret it.

[amiti-art]

Cyrene, Apollo and Ares (and how it was actually only Cyrene and Apollo and Wikipedia is not always a reliable source)

Some of you might know the myth in which Apollo's lover - Cyrene met Ares and had a son named Diomedes (NOT the same guy as Diomedes from Iliad) with him.

Except... she didn't.

When I was researching Cyrene some time ago I realised that her article on Theoi (great source btw) doesn't mention Ares at all. I didn't pay that much attention to this back then, after all, most of the myths have many versions so I assumed that the one with Ares is just less popular one.

I was more preoccupied with the fact that Idmon who I always thought to be Apollo and Cyrene's son was not actually always listed as theirs and had like 5 different variants of parentage.

Let's start with Cyrene's children and why Wikipedia should not be used as a primary source.

Her Personal Information Section on Wikipedia lists 3 children: Aristaeus, Autuchus and Idmon. Later in the Family section it's said that she also had Diomedes with Ares.

For the life of me I could not find anything about Autuchus in the ancient sources BUT I found that Anthocus (which is kinda similar) was the title of Aristaeus and was sometimes mistaken for another son of the pair.

So likely it is the same mistake.

Aristaeus is also the one who is almost always said to be son of Apollo and Cyrene and both of his parents appear in his myths.

Idmon like I said had many different sets of parents: Apollo and Cyrene, Abas and Cyrene, Apollo and Asteria (NOT the sister of Leto), Apollo and Antianeira, Apollo and Abas (one is bio father, the other is foster father, I think????). He also doesn't have an article on Theoi so reserch on him is going to be a nightmer. 🙃

And now Diomedes

Wikipedia says this

But does not link any source for this story

What's more: there are sources describing Apollo changing Cyrene into a Nymph and they also don't mention Ares AT ALL. They are also written in a way that suggest that changing her into a Nymph was one of the first things Apollo did after meeting her.

This doesn't add up with this Ares thing at all.

So where did the Wikipedia article got this Cyrene-fighting-Ares story from? Well, I decided to look into edits history and this section was actually deleted a few months ago with this comment.

My honest reaction to this information: 😐

And then the section was revived for some reason.

But you know when it was first added? 2 years ago.

When did Rick's book about Greek heroes came out? 8 years ago.

So right now Cyrene's Wikipedia article is misleading and contains information from a RETELLING stated as facts.

The only thing I could find that was linking Cyrene with Ares was this:

and it doesn't even say if this is the same Cyrene. It could be, but we have to remember that in the myths there were like 14 dudes named Abas (and 5 named Idmon while we're at it.)

+this is a very late source compared to all the other Cyrene's myths.

Other source claims that Diomedes' mother was Asterie

I personaly think those are two different Cyrenes and here's why:

• Cyrene (Apollo's lover) when introduced in the myth is usually accompanied either by her parentage or by some other characteristic like "sheparderss" "huntress" "archeress" "lion slayer" and so on. Cyrene from Ares' myth has nothing to her name which makes me think she was just some random women.

• Non of Cyrene's own myths ever mention Ares (or I couldn't find any), while Apollo is mentioned often.

• Apollo's Cyrene was Thessalian and Diomedes (and therefor his mother likely as well) was Thracian

• There is literally nothing I could find that would suggest that Apollo's Cyrene and Cyrene from Ares myth are the same and since there are many characters in the mythology with the same names (again 14 Abas') labeling these two as one is irrational (Diomedes himself shares the name with one of the Iliad's characters).

Anyway, lesson for today: be careful while reading Wikipedia and always check the sources.

This kinda scares me tbh because how many more of those articles treat retellings as actual sources and were added by fans of the said retellings?

I hope somebody will fix this article because wtf

[sammaggs]

3x02 Eclipse | Nightmare

Stay with me on this one: I don’t think Marcus Ellory ever shows up to his mother's grave in Eclipse.

As truepenny points out in her typically-brilliant meta, Eclipse is written in the style of the Greek theatre's katabasis, a journey to the Underworld (followed by anabasis, the return to the world of the living). You've seen Hadestown? You've seen a katabasis.

This is another playwright John Krisanc joint, and as other people smarter than me have meta’d, Ray’s katabasis sees our hero venturing to the Underworld (a literal graveyard/crypt/grave); solving the riddle presented by the Underworld's guardian ("There. Now it's broken and it's working." "Good man."); learning a fundamental truth about the cyclical nature of life or undergoing a symbolic death of the past self; and then returning to the land of the living as a new or newly-knowledgeable person.

Ray Kowalski is tormented by Marcus Ellory as a symbol of his life up until this point. The two defining features of Ray Kowalski's life up until he meets Fraser are 1) Stella, and B) being a cop. "The point is, I mean, my whole life, it all starts and ends with this one guy."

But that part of Ray's life is over.

To make this a metaphor for queerness (as someone who personally married a man before coming out as a lesbian around Ray's age), in our mid-30s we're often forced to deconstruct the narratives of our lives that we've been so devoted to until this point. Have we been living for ourselves, or for other people? Has doing what society expects of us made us happy?

If you're closeted, the answer is usually going to be no. And that means you have to burn down your entire life to start fresh (the house, if you will). It means you have to grieve your past self—the one who had a heterosexual spouse and a house in the suburbs and did what society expected of you—in order to make room to rebirth your authentic self.

In the Underworld, and in the graveyard, Ray buries the man who wanted a wife; the man who wanted revenge on Ellory; the man who was a con job.

He's revived a man with a new partner, no longer motivated by vengeance, and who knows he's a damn good cop because he is.

So now that we've established all of that, let's get back to Ellory.

Ellory doesn't show up for his mother's funeral; by the time the mourners are leaving, he's still not there. "You know, Ray, I'm pretty sure he'll come," says Fraser, at 4:30PM. "We have time." But after Fraser gives Ray his own history back to him, Ellory still hasn't showed. They decide to leave, and Ray throws his dream catcher to the wind... where it's caught by Marcus Ellory.

"It's a dream catcher," says Fraser. "It tangles up bad dreams."

It tangles up bad dreams.

Ray puts on his glasses; he can't really see Ellory clearly. Then, once they end up together in the grave, no one else ever sees them. Fraser never sees Ellory. By the time Ray is reborn anew after the eclipse (literal darkness into light!), Ellory is nowhere to be seen. Suspicious!

I think the casting choice here, too, is deliberately made to make Ellory an allegorical figure as opposed to a literal one. Peter Bray, the actor, is 6'7". He's huge, and lying in the grave next to him, Ray looks even smaller than usual.

That's because we are seeing Marcus Ellory the way twelve-year-old Stan Kowalski would have. Huge, imposing, feet taller than him; essentially a cartoon villain. Ellory is exactly the same here as he is in Ray's memory, unchanged but for a little grey, even though twenty-three years have passed.

And then he disappears.

Ellory is the final boss of Ray's katabasis, his eclipse-fueled nightmare, tangled up in and cleansed by the dreamcatcher Fraser made him—just like Fraser's recitation of Ray's citations tangles up and cleanses Ray's own poor consideration of himself.

But it’s not about Ellory, y’know?? It has nothing to do with Ellory, not really, and everything to do with Ray’s own perception of himself and the story he tells himself about his own life. In this way, I think it’s more powerful a read if Ellory is not there; it’s all Ray. Just Ray, letting go of the man he thought he was and choosing to become the man he wants to be.

For me, Ellory’s just a bad dream. He’s a larger-than-life demon of Ray’s own making. He’s probably in hiding or dead, but Ray doesn’t actually need the real Ellory to exorcise that demon. He just needs the right angel.

Ray Kowalski dies and is reborn (like due South!), at the end of what I consider to be the two-part opener of Season 3.

Happy 27th birthday, Eclipse (Sept. X, 1997)! You're one of the all-timer episodes of TV.

[daysofyellowroses]

comfort

david von erich x reader | 3.3k |inspired by this absolutely wonderful request - apologies for the delay, i just loved writing this! | warnings: allusions to depression

this story is brought to you by my menstrual cycle, copious amounts of sweet treats & the music of neil young, enjoy 🌼

It was honestly a miracle that you didn't faint when you were told the news. The shock had you reeling, your head feeling light as your stomach felt tight and heavy. Part of you wished you had just passed out so you wouldn't have to process the information. 

Everything you'd worked for, trained for, given up, all for nothing. The blood, sweat and tears, hours upon hours of constant training, the deep bruises that marked your body, all just made pointless with one sentence.

“We're not going to the Olympics.”

Words had never stung so much. It felt like a horrible joke. You had been training since you were a little girl, being told to keep a vision in your mind of you on the platform accepting the gold medal in Moscow. 

Your entire life had been dedicated to gymnastics, it was what you knew, what you excelled at. When you'd left home to go train in Dallas it had been daunting, but at least you were only a few hours away, you didn't have to leave the state like some of your friends. 

When you would have low moments, missed your family, your friends, and particularly David, and it felt like you were missing out on the typical teenage experiences, you tried to remember it would all be worth it one day. 

Not anymore.

What did you have to show for all the years of sacrifice? You don't train for a race and then not run it. That gold medal was yours, you knew it. The thought of it had kept you going, that image of showing it to your loved ones, celebrating with them. Showing them all their sacrifices were worth it too.

All you wanted was to go home and curl up in your bed, forget the world existed. You just felt hollow inside, numbness had taken over your body. When you called home, you could tell your mom was trying not to cry. You couldn't cry, even if you wanted to, you just felt like you were on autopilot. You wanted to call David, but you couldn't bring yourself too. It wasn't like the two of you were in a relationship, it was..complicated. 

You insisted to your parents that you were fine getting the bus home, but your dad came to pick you up. When he hugged you it had you almost breaking down, but you had to stop yourself. You just clung to him and let him guide you into his truck.

When you arrived back home, you hugged your mom for what felt like hours. You finally broke down and cried when you went to your bedroom, laying in your bed and letting the tears flow freely. You wanted to be strong, to just accept your fate and keep going, but you couldn't. Not yet.

You stayed in bed for a couple of days, unable to face the world. Your mom would come in with a tray, try and get you to eat something. Your dad would come and read the newspaper aloud to you, the mundanity of life around town feeling soothing.

By the fourth day, you were starting to become one with your bed. You dragged yourself to the bathroom, taking a shower and trying to revive yourself. The whole thing kept playing over and over in your mind. It wasn't like you were disqualified or kicked off the team, forced to leave because of your own actions. It was a noble cause to withdraw, and you had no control over it. That being said, it didn't make you feel any better.

After you showered and dressed, you joined your parents for breakfast. You could see the relief in their eyes, the delight radiating from your mother. You didn't have much of an appetite but you forced yourself to eat something. Hell, you could eat whatever you wanted now. 

Your father informed you that he'd be going into town later, making the mildest of suggestions that you could join him. The thought of the pitying looks had you wanting to retreat back to your bed. Everyone in town would know. They would give you the look. The ‘poor you, what a shame’ look.

But they were going to look at you eventually, and you had nothing to hide. So you told your father you'd join him, wanting to rip the band aid off.

As it turned out, it wasn't the worst experience ever. You did indeed get the look, but people refrained from commenting. They knew the situation, you knew the situation, there was no need to rehash it. 

While your dad was in the hardware store, chatting to the owner, you wandered around, enjoying the peace. As you were wandering around an aisle you bumped into a very familiar blonde, craning your neck up and letting out a soft sigh as you met his eyes.

“You live two minutes down the road and I bump into you here?”

“The mysteries of life at work I guess.”

You smiled a little, glancing around before looking back to David. You could see the guilt in his eyes, tell he wanted to say it. Tell that he wanted to say it was a damn shame. But he didn't, and you found yourself wanting him to. 

“How've you been?” You asked, resting your hands on your hips. “My dad tells me you're involved with wrestling now?”

While you could tell David was a little caught off guard, he gave you a polite nod and cleared his throat. 

“Yeah, yeah I just kind of..fell into it.”

You knew for a fact that couldn't be true, but he hadn't pressed you, and you weren't going to press him. Not in the middle of Earl's hardware emporium anyway. 

“Enjoying it?” 

“So far so good.”

You nodded softly, taking a deep breath as you slowly folded your arms. 

“Could we..get together later? I feel like we need to catch up properly.”

The look of relief in David's eyes had you feeling at ease.

“Of course,” He nodded, giving you a small but reassuring smile. “Why don't I pick you up around six?”

“Sounds good,” You smiled, for what felt like the first time in weeks. “I'll see you then.”

As much as you had tried your best to look casual when David arrived at the house, you couldn't deny that you'd spent a fair amount of time perfecting the casual hair and makeup look, planned your outfit carefully to look as though you'd just thrown it together. 

“You look great,” David smiled as you hopped into his truck. “Where do you wanna go?”

“I'm pretty hungry, we could get something to eat?” You suggested, your appetite coming back to you. 

“Sounds like a plan,” David nodded. “Let's do it.”

Before you knew it you were in the diner you'd spent so many nights dreaming about while you were training. On your brief visits home, you and David would spend hours there, chatting and laughing and occasionally holding hands across the table. You'd feel guilty for ordering a milkshake and David would insist he'd take the blame, putting on a ridiculous accent and pretending to be a coach to make you laugh til the glass was empty. 

It was actually a nice feeling to order a burger and fries, along with a large milkshake you refused to feel guilty about. When you looked back at David and found him smiling at you, you rolled your eyes with a grin. 

“Something on my face?”

“Not yet.”

You laughed as he winked at you, shaking  your head.

“Your jokes ain't changed then.”

“Course not,” David shrugged, leaning back against the red leather booth. “have to remind you what attracted you to me in the first place. Aside from this,” He swept his hand down his body. “obviously.”

“Oh obviously,” You nodded, a serious look on your face for a moment before you both laughed. 

“Just feels nice being here with you again,” David sighed softly, resting his hand on the table. “We never really got much time before but..I'm glad we do now. Obviously it's not the best circumstances but..”

“But it's fine,” You smiled, sitting up and resting your arms on the table. “we’re here now.”

“Indeed we are,” David smiled, glancing around for a moment before looking back at you and clearing his throat. “listen, I don't know what your plans are but if you're sticking around then..I'd love to ask you on a date.”

“You..wow,” You raised a brow, looking over to David with a smile as you rested your head on your hand. “We're kinda just doing things in reverse I guess.”

“I guess so,” David nodded, a slight flushed red coloring his cheeks. “I want to do it right.”

You admired his sentiment, it was sweet. The two of you had never really had a real relationship, or been on dates, with you being away in Dallas it didn't make sense. But you always hung out when you were home, whether it was in the diner or driving around in David's truck. On more than one occasion he'd snuck into your room (at your encouragement) and the two of you would try to stay quiet as much as possible. 

You'd never really thought about how a relationship would look, that was supposed to be in the next chapter of your life. But the book was evidently going to be a little shorter, and a relationship with someone you truly cared about and loved was certainly a fair compromise. 

“I think you doing it right won't be a problem,” You grinned, sitting back as your drinks were brought over. You looked at the glass in front of you, the red and white straw poking out of the pink milkshake. 

“Thank you,” You smiled at the waitress, easing the glass closer to you. You lightly swirled the straw before taking a sip.

“Hm,” You sat back and glanced over to David, lightly tapping your glass. “You may have competition. This milkshake is close to stealing my heart.”

“Oh really?” David grinned, reaching across the table to gently touch your hand, your palm turning to touch his. “Bring it on.”

A couple of days later, you were starting to feel okay again. Your parents were incredibly supportive and loving, making life at home feel easier. David honored his promise and asked you out on a real date, which was very cute. He came and picked you up, took you to a nice restaurant, made you feel like nothing else in the world mattered but the two of you. After dinner he took you home, walking you to the door and kissing your cheek like a gentleman. You told him that he could come in, but he told you that he was leaving while you wanted more, and you knew where he was.

As it turned out, David's parents were away at a funeral, and you were able to walk in the front door rather than risk breaking your leg using the drain pipe. Kevin was out on a date, and Kerry and Mike were watching TV when you arrived.

You gave them both a hug, wanting to stay and chat but finding it adorable how many excuses David made to lure you away. In the end you grabbed his hand and led him upstairs, wanting to make the most of an almost empty house.

When you woke up in the middle of the night, you smiled as you realized where you were. David's arm was wrapped around your waist, his face buried in your neck. The need for water outweighed your need for comfort, so you carefully slipped out of bed, grateful you'd thrown on one of David's t-shirts before going to sleep. You found your discarded panties on the floor, slipping them on. Kevin's bed was empty, and you presumed his date had gone very well because none of the boys ever slept on the couch. 

Making your way down to the kitchen, you were surprised to find a light on. Kerry was sitting at the table, and you gave him a smile as you walked in.

“Couldn't sleep?” You asked, going to the cabinet to get a glass. 

“Nah, just tossing and turning,” Kerry sighed softly. “figured I may as well just get up. You?”

“Wanted water,” You explained, taking your glass to the sink and filling it with water. “I know I won't be able to sleep again now. Never can when I wake up in the middle of the night.”

“It's a pain in the ass,” Kerry nodded. “I'm the same. If I'm awake that's it.”

You took a sip of water, standing by the sink for a moment before walking over to the table and sitting across from Kerry.

“Can I ask you something?” You asked, your hand lightly gripping your glass.

“Of course,”  Kerry nodded. You suspected he knew what you were going to say but you felt the need to say it anyway.

“How have you been handling it?” You asked, your stomach feeling tight. “Since we were told?”

Kerry was quiet for a moment before he let out a breath and rested his arms on the table. 

“Better than I expected,” He told you. “At first I thought..this is it, the end of the road, what the hell am I supposed to do now you know? But since coming home it feels like the world opened up again. I got my family, a roof over my head, it could be a whole lot worse. How are you finding it?”

You took a sip of water, lightly pushing the glass away when you set it down on the table.

“I'm finding it easier now,” You nodded. “I really couldn't handle it at first, I just stayed in bed for days. I'm still amazed I managed to drag myself out, I was just miserable. But my family definitely helped too, and David,” You smiled, glancing up for a moment. “I don't know what I'd do without him. Without all of you,” You looked back to Kerry.

“You know this is the first time I've really talked about it, I've been avoiding the subject.”

“That's understandable,” Kerry sat back a little, lightly tapping his hand on the table. “Most people are sympathetic but they don't really understand how it felt. I just can't stand that look people give you, like you're a kicked puppy or something. I'd rather just not talk about it if they're gonna start pitying me.”

“Exactly,” You nodded. “Obviously it's normal for people to have sympathy but it just..feels different when it's actually happening to you.”

“Well you can talk to me about it anytime,” Kerry smiled. “About anything.”

“I know,” You smiled, getting up from the table and walking around to Kerry. “I really appreciate it.”

He stood up and you wrapped your arms around him, feeling another weight lifted off your shoulders as he hugged you back.

“I'm gonna try and get some sleep,” You sighed softly, pulling back and gently squeezing Kerry's arm. “I'll see you in the morning.”

When you got back to David's room, you slipped back into his bed as quietly as possible, smiling when his arm immediately wrapped around your waist. 

“Where'd you go?” He murmured into your neck, his voice addled with sleep you wish you could borrow. 

“Just wanted some water,” You told him, turning around and looking at his perfect face, how peaceful he looked. “Go back to sleep.”

He didn't need to be told twice, and while you found sleep still eluded you, you felt more content as you nestled into him.

A couple of days later, while the sun was splitting the rocks, you were relaxing in the Von Erich's backyard, the smell of barbecue wafting through the air. You were sitting beside Kerry, beer in hand and feeling pretty relaxed.

“Oh, did I tell you the news?” He grinned, taking a sip of his beer.

“Absolutely not,” You raised a brow with a grin. “Tell me immediately.”

“I'm joining Kev and David in the ring,” Kerry told you. “got my first match on Saturday.”

“Oh..that's..that's so amazing,” You smiled, giving Kerry a hug. “Wow, how cool is that?” You pulled back and gave him a smile. “You better believe I'll be in the front row.”

“I hope so, I need the support,” Kerry laughed softly. “Feel free to make a banner.”

“You think I wasn't gonna make one?” You teased, taking a sip of your beer and watching David approach you from the corner of your eye.

“Hey, can I talk to you for a minute?”

“Me?” You looked over at him. “Yeah, of course.”

You got up from the table and followed David into the house, sitting down beside him on the couch when you got to the living room.

“What's going on?” You asked, trying to ignore the tightness in your chest.

“It's..it's stupid,” David sighed, sitting back and resting his hands over his thighs. “But I just need to get it out.  Because..if you want Kerry instead of me I'd rather just know about it now than be dragged along and made a fool of, and yes it would be hard to deal with but if it would make you happy then-”

“David,” You gently touched his arm, turning towards him. “I'm with you, and that ain't gonna change. If I wanted to be with anyone else I would be, but I'm not because I want to be with you.”

“You don't have to spare my feelings,” David looked over at you, and you gently squeezed his arm. “I can handle it, I promise. I see how close you two are.”

“Because we're friends,” You sighed softly. “And we've been through a shared experience. I know that I can talk to you about anything, but Kerry has had the same thing happen to him. And now he's moving on and I'm..”

You took a deep breath, looking down to David's arm. “I don't know what the hell I'm doing. I mean, I know what I'm doing today, but..what about the future? I have nothing, I don't have a job, or a degree, or..anything. Everything I knew is just..gone and I..”

“Hey,” David sat up and moved closer to you, wrapping his arms around you as you buried your face in his shoulder. “you got so much going for you, alright? And a long old life ahead of you, so don't waste it getting stressed out. Your life hasn't taken the path you expected but mine hasn't either. I didn't think I'd end up doing what I'm doing, and I never even dared think I'd be lucky enough to get you back, have you here with me. But it's turned out pretty damn great, and I promise you that what's in store for you will be so amazing. You don't need to figure it all out right this second, you got time.”

“What did I do to deserve you?” You smiled softly, looking up to David and feeling yourself breathe again. “I just need to know so I can make sure I keep doing it.”

“It's me who should be asking that,” David smiled softly, his hand gently stroking your back. “Whatever I did I'd do it a million times over.”

“Well before you do that, maybe you could do something else first,” You smiled, softly biting your lip.

“Oh yeah?” David grinned, raising a brow. “What's that?”

“You could go get me a burger,” You teased, laughing softly as he rolled his eyes with a grin. “or just kiss me, whatever you feel like doing first.”

“I'm on it,” David smiled, standing up before leaning down to kiss you, his hand gently stroking your neck, your hand moving over his as you kissed him back, feeling truly content. 

[shannonsketches]

I overanalyze the hell out of everything but! While we're here--

I think a lot (and am too lazy to make the many many comics in my head) about how Vegeta was having fun with these androids (even being sportsmanlike with Piccolo about it!) until he found out who Trunks was (and also that they were the wrong androids). Then between that reveal and Bulma getting shot down, he switches back into Spite and Fury, and I just chinhands I think a lot about what a shot to the chest it would be to learn that you die -- you die in the future, you lose to these surprise enemies -- and your son, with his mother's machine and knowledge of the events, comes back to the past to make sure someone else lives.

"It's just because Goku's the first to die, so it's a domino effect!" Yes, but,

Vegeta was standing right there when Bulma said her strategy was to destroy the androids before they became an issue. Vegeta knows that Bulma feels very strongly that this is the move, and that waiting is stupid. He also knows that she watched him dabble on Earth for a year and a half before Goku came home.

So he knows that she could've sent Trunks back earlier, and had him talk to Piccolo. Vegeta could've used that entire ~12-18 months to train for a specific threat, or even just to prepare for Frieza's return.

He also knows that she could've just as easily sent Trunks back while they were all on Namek, and taken care of the issue before any of them were even made aware of it. That was her suggestion in the present! Trunks could've left Goku's medication with Roshi, or Popo, and just let it remain a mystery where it came from and how it got there.

But instead, Trunks came the day that Goku came back. So he could meet Goku. And talk to Goku. So he could make sure Goku survived. So Goku could save everyone. Because Goku would be there to win the day. Because Goku's is the strength they trust to be enough.

The way that must corrode your insides and just flood you with envy, and spite, and poison. The way he behaves for the rest of this arc despite the clever strategist we saw on Earth and on Namek, despite the cautious observation, the patience, the snarky humor, the distinct recognition of a threat that needs eliminating before it's too late -- despite all these things we've seen him be and have and do, after this point he's reckless and fuming and desperate to prove himself to the detriment of everyone around him.

As a punishment, maybe? For choosing Goku over You?

As necessity? Because you've spent 30 of your 31 years having the value of your life measured solely by your ability to win?

As a distraction? From knowing that you spent your life fighting tooth and nail for all that you are, only to die, humiliated, at the feet of your enemies having failed to do the only task you felt you were alive to do, then be revived by mistake, then learn that even your own child would prefer the person who succeeded at that one seemingly impossible task?

It's really no wonder, at this extremely low and fragile point in Vegeta's life, that he went from quietly standoffish to actively erratic from this point. It's not until Cell slaps him with the reality check of losing those precious few who continued to choose him despite his profound personal and operational failures (which were likely a death sentence, where he's from) that he settles back down (in the manga) to being quietly standoffish, strategic, and cooperative toward the higher goal.

Then spends the next seven years learning it never had to be like that because it turns out people on this planet mostly still want you to be alive and come home even if you fuck up real bad and you actually don't have to be The Star Executioner to be valued and welcomed and even?? Loved?? Which sucks to learn after you've already gotten your son and your rival and very nearly your rival's son killed by being an insecure jackass and making everything worse than it had to be.

But don't worry, it'll only happen one more time and it'll only take like 40 minutes to publicly murder like 2000 people and almost destroy the entire universe because you had something totally different to prove this time, it's a minor relapse at best, it's fine, everyone's fine, we're all gonna wish that memory away from all the innocent people and only think about it at 2am when you're awake laying in bed trying to figure out why the fuck you're still allowed in this house and you can spend the next 4-6 years turning your shit around and embracing that soft emotions are okay to feel and you're not a defective specimen being slowly deconstructed on a backwater space rock and it's actually normal to care about stuff and it's everything you were ever taught before this that was toxic and wrong and had to be unlearned so you could grow and change and harness true strength instead of chasing shallow power so it's fine!! It's totally fine. Everything's fine. He's fine. He's good.

[laurentidal]

Palace of the Sun

Sequel to Shadows We Cast.

Georgeann Mercer has been hard at work since her meeting with Congresswomen Singer and Mother Dusk. The Red Stone Project had been shot down, but the Mothers had thought about it and had decided that it may not be the worst idea to have a real home at Red Mesa. Somewhere their followers could visit or live without the need to camp in the wilderness. So it was that the Red Stone Project was revived with a new goal in mind.

All the mining provisions were stripped away and replaced with plans for a palace set into the stone. There would be room enough for dozens of followers to pay worship to the Sun and to pay fealty to the Mothers in their garden.

Georgann proved to be quite the asset for the Daughters of the Sun. She worked hard and gathered resources quickly and quietly. Mother Dusk had even blessed her as a Daughter of the Moon, something she never thought she'd do on their first meeting. But her worship had been fervent and her tongue had been impressive.

For the grand opening, Dr. Card brought her mother and her sister. They'd been desperate to see where Katherine had been doing all her research. But they were surprised when they arrived to find a palace made of shining white rock inlayed with swirling gold veins. They'd surely been expecting to find what Katherine had found on that first visit: firepits and canvas tents. They'd come a long way in a short time.

Katherine was sure to introduce them to Mother as soon as they arrive.

"I'm Agnes," the woman said, holding out her hand. Even her skin was like gold and so warm. Each woman shook and felt a little more at ease. "We're happy to welcome you here. Katherine has become like a member of the family. So that means you're family, too."

They sat down to dine ass the sun set and Katherine poured her family a glass of the clearest water they'd ever seen which they happily drank. The palace was beautiful but the heat was getting to them.

"This is the same toast I was given on my first night here. The same drink and the same prayer," Katherine told them. "So He fills us with his heat, we fill you."

The lightheadedness came. The warmth from within.

"So He leaves the Earth bare in the night, we must be bare as well."

The women were already too groggy to gasp as Katherine's shawl slid from her shoulders leaving her completely naked before them.

"So He brightens our lives, we must brighten each other's."

"I was the one to bring Katherine into the fold," Agnes said, also stripping naked at the table. "It was only right that I be here for your induction. You may now call me Mother Agni. I am the keeper of the flame and the bringer of heat, and you are now my disciples."

"Say, 'Yes, Mother,'" Katherine whispered in their ears.

"Yes, Mother," her mother and sister intoned sleepily. Katherine pulled their clothes off and placed them on the table. She pulled them to their feet, presented before their Mother.

"The Sun makes no distinction between His creatures. He heats them all and brings them joy. And so we make no distinction either. You are not mother and daughter here. You are both only Daughters of the Sun. Lay upon the table and drink of each other's juices. Worship Him by satisfying His work and stoking His flame."

"Yes, Mother."

The two collapsed onto the table, each mouth locked onto the other's dripping cunts. Moans of ecstasy filled the room and Mother beckoned Katherine to her side.

"You have done well, Katherine. You must be proud of your family."

"My only family are the Daughters of the Sun," Katherine said reverently. "They were my family once, and now they can be again."

Mother Agni smiled at her disciple and noted her zeal. She could make a good Mother someday.

Continue the Story in Bathed in Light.

Thanks for reading! If you are a fan of my work, consider buying me a coffee. Any contribution is insanely appreciated. 💖

[miquella-everywhere]

Miquella and the Carian Royal Family

Okay so, I read somewhere in cut content(which i cannot find for the life of me 😢 if anyone knows what in talking about plz help me out lol) that it was apparently Radagon who introduced Miquella to the Carian Family. Which is... a pretty damn awkward situation all around lol

Like really, can you imagine being Miquella? Going into your fathers previous family and seeing all things that he had done to stifle them; the Preceptors mask, their step-siblings(Ranni and Rykard specifically) hostility to the Golden Order, Rennalas declining mental state... Like what sort of feelings would Miquella have had in that situation?

Could they have been indifferent perhaps? Maybe they felt pity or guilty for Carias decline? Or maybe it was the beginning of a budding disdain for Radagon and Fundamentalism altogether?

Either way, it's evident that Miquella spent quite a bit of time there, what with the Miquellan Knights Sword being based off of the Carian Knights Sword and even the Haligtree Knights, the absolute pain in the ass they are, know a few Glintstone Sorceries meaning Miquella was heavily inspired by the Carians and clearly respected them.

And the Carians also seem to have respected Miquella as well, so much so that one of their own Knights, Loretta, would switch sides and swear fealty to Miquella and their Haligtree, but also remain loyal enough to leave behind her spirit to defend Caria Manor.

So with all of this I can't help but wonder about the relationships that Miquella may have had with the rest of the Carian family, and I plan on discussing it in this post!

Keep in mind that some of this is speculation along with a few personal headcanons, so take all of this with a grain of salt please lol

Rennala

Just... Rennalas whole deal with her grief surrounding Radagon and her obsession with rebirth and the scholars that come from her amber egg is already pretty heavy. And then for Miquella to come in and potentially meet his step-mother(who's mind may or may not have been declining at that point) could lead to a very awkward confrontation.

Could Rannala had resentment towards Miquella? Or could she have been utterly enamored with the eternally young Demigod and treated them as one of her own?

Rennala: My little Sweeting :)

Miquella: Well I guess I'm a little sweeting now 🤷

akdhhsajdh Either way, regardless of her true feelings it's clear that Rennala allowed Miquella residence at Caria Manor, and it's from there that Miquella became acquainted with their other Carian Step-Siblings.

Ranni

Ranni and Miquella are both two characters that, at a glance, seem like they wouldn't get along at all considering the canon lore.

Ranni was a Carian Sorcerer, Miquella was a Golden Order Fundamentalist. Ranni murders Godwyn to further her own agenda, and Godwyn was Miquella's beloved older brother, someone who they loved very dearly, going so far as to concoct a plan to revive his soul somehow. So at first you'd think that Miquella and Ranni would be hostile towards one another considering everything, but as I digged more into the lore and Ranni's passing mentions of Miquella it became apparent, at least from Rannis viewpoint, that there is no ill-will between the two Empyreans.

At the very beginning of the game you encounter Ranni at the Church of Elle and she asks you if you are riding a Spectral Steed called Torrent, and, if you say yes, Ranni seems pleased by this and gives you a Spirit Calling Bell and the Lone Wolves Ashes, both items that were entrusted to her by Torrents former Master to hand off to you. (which also implies that Miquella knew Torrent would choose a Tarnished like what???? 😳)

Later on she specifically says that she is pleased to see Torrent hail and hearty, and when you hand her the Finger-Slayer Blade she extends her thanks to Torrent in his part in all of this.

So, CLEARLY, there is much more going on here than we're being allowed to know, with Torrent likely acting as an extension of Miquellas will while they slumber.

But the important thing that can be gathered from all of this is that Miquella and Ranni seem to be pretty okay with each other for the most part. And if you subscribe to the theory that Miquella sent Malenia to fight Radahn to free the moon and their fate, like I do, then it becomes fairly obvious that Ranni and Miquella have quite a bit in common, and perhaps even have a shared fate.

But unfortunately we'll have to wait until the DLC to get any concrete confirmation for any of this lol 😭

Radahn

The most important thing you need to understand about Radahns character is that he is kind. He is a good man who was respected by his Generals and Soldiers alike, and he was a man who loved animals as well. So if you think that he didn't see his two cursed younger siblings and thought, "Wow these two need a role model," then you are wrong.

jk 😂

But really, I can't really find much of a connection between Miquella and Radahn, other than the locations of Miquellas Lily in Redmane Castle and Sellia, which indicates that Miquella did spend time there, but the more important connection to focus on is the relationship between Malenia and Radahn.

Malenia likely always aspired to be of use to Miquella, especially with how dedicated they were to finding a cure for her, so she probably trained to be able to weild a sword from a young age despite the Rot essentially crippling her. And Radahn most likely found that to be very admirable of his younger sister, so my theory is that while Miquella stayed at Redmane and studied at Sellia, Radahn probably taught Malenia a few things or two about combat and the art of war, before she ended up meeting her Blind Master later on.

And if anything this just makes their final confrontation in Caelid all the more tragic :'(

Rykard

While Miquella was famed for blessing the low and the meek, Rykard was infamous for his cruelty and blasphemy. You wouldn't think that these two would have anything in common, but they actually have quite a few parallels to one another:

They are both sons of Radagons (who both became estranged from him later on)

They both have a proficiency for mechanical engineering i.e Rykards Iron Virgins, Miquellas Pulley Bow/Crossbow and Prosthetics

They both have a form of disdain for the Golden Order: Rykard and his blasphemy, and Miquella outright rejecting Fundamentalism

So with all this I can imagine that their relationship/interactions would have been... Interesting to say the least.

Now this part is speculation/headcanons, but with Miquella's arrival to Caria Manor Rykard would definitely have felt disdain for his prodigal half-sibling, and would have likely ribbed Miquella as eloquently as possible. But Miquella, an Empyrean, steadfast and determined, would not have backed down from Rykard.

Cue the most intense discussion about Religion and Science in the Lands Between ever. Everyone within earshot of these two are terrified 😂

So I can imagine that despite their differences Rykard and Miquella probably had a mutual respect for one another. Heck, it hasn't been posted yet, but in my Lily Hunt in Mt. Gelmir you can find several Miquella's Lily's in some pretty unlikely places, meaning that Rykard did allow Miquella to be on Mt. Gelmir doing... whatever it was that they were doing there lol

Also

Wouldn't you say that the Tonic of Forgetfulness is a little too floral for Rykards aesthetics???? 🤔

I mean, in cut content, if Miquella/St. Trina had the ability to make Dream Brew, which doubled as alcohol and a way to peer into someones deepest secrets, it wouldn't be too farfetched if Miquella could craft a brew that could erase someones painful memories.

If this theory is correct then it definitely puts an interesting spin on Miquella and Rykards relationship; two characters who are complete polar opposites to eachother.

But if Rykard commissioned Miquella to create a tonic that would give Tanith the option to spare herself from the potential pain of Rykards blasphemous path, how could Miquella refuse such a request? After all, they know very well about the desire to relieve someone of their pain and suffering.

[thescarletnargacuga]

MONSTER

A HARLEQUIN AU SHOWTIME ONESHOT

Harlequin AU credit: @iamespecter @tadc-harlequin-au

Special thanks to: @sirrockem

A/N: This takes place after the events of "The way of the combat Harlequin"

WARNING: hurt/comfort, puppet nudity (not explicit)

~~~

Pomni tucked Cade into bed. "Try to get some sleep, you had a big day."

"Mom, if I see those marionettes in my dreams...I'm not too big to come sleep with you and dad, am I?" Cade looked at his mother with pleading eyes.

Pomni ran her hand comfortingly over Cade's head. "No, you're never too big to come to us for comfort. We'll always be here for you."

"Okay... goodnight, mom. Love you."

"Goodnight, Cade." Pomni gave him a kiss and left his room, leaving the door cracked to let light from the hallway inside.

Pomni slowly walked to her room. Today's events still plagued her mind. How hard she went on what she considered low level enemies. Cade's face afterwards. The very fact that she had to tell her own son that she wasn't a threat to him...

She accepted the fact that she was a killing machine a long time ago. If the idea of her directive ever bothered her, she stamped it down. It was a distraction she couldn't afford when she was on a mission.

First mission, seek and destroy....and protect? Her broken directive misguided her to the puppetmaster.

Then, missions to defeat the B.O.S.Ses. She HAD to send them to the void before they were reborn in their new forms.

But she found the moral quandary of her bloodlust harder to ignore the more enlightened she became. She was more aware of what combat felt like to her, and how much she craved it like a drug. She didn't just want to fight, she needed to. The joy she got from facing a worthy opponent was unmatched for the longest time.

Then Caine happened. His kindness, his patience, his temperament, his love for her made her feel another joy she didn't know even existed. She rationalized with herself that her urge to fight could be used only to protect and that lie became truth to her when she told it to herself enough.

She protects her city, friends, and family with her urge....but it's still an urge. She still gets antsy when she doesn't see combat for a long enough period of time. She still finds herself wishing to wander to find an even bigger and badder enemy. As much as she is her own person, she still has her vices. It wasn't until her son feared for his life in front of her that she realized how toxic it could be if left unchecked.

Pomni shut herself in the master bedroom and took off her belt, holding the sheathed sword gingerly as if it would come to life and bite her. "I'm being ridiculous...." She tried to tell herself, but her hands trembled. She dropped the sword on the floor next to her side of the bed and sat down, head in her hands. "I can control it..."

She didn't look up when Caine entered the room, dropping his cane and coat. "Ugh...those marionettes caused more trouble than they were worth. Eight puppets need to be rebuilt and revived, and security demands for the east side have gone up. We're spread thin enough as it is." He flopped on the bed next to Pomni. "How's Cade?"

Pomni took out her hair tie, letting her longer hair drape her shoulders. "Better...we had a talk."

"....are you okay?" Caine sat up, hearing the despondent tone in her voice.

Pomni took a moment to answer. "...Cade wasn't afraid of the marionettes. He was afraid of me." She held herself in an attempt to self-soothe. "You should have seen his eyes..."

Caine wrapped an arm around Pomni, holding her close next to him. "He's never seen you in actual combat. It was just a lot for him to take in."

"He wouldn't let me touch him!" Pomni almost sobbed. "He thought I would hurt him next, like I was some out of control monster!"

"Hey..." He gently held her chin. "Look at me...you are not a monster. Your detective is not your fault, and you've made leaps and bounds to use it the way you see fit, not the person who programmed you. You are Pomni: the woman I love, the mother of our child, the protector of the City of Circuits... Not one of those things makes you a monster."

Pomni had no more tears. She was spent; physically and emotionally. "Enjoying combat does, wanting it as much as I do..."

"Were you happy to see the marionettes today?" Caine asked seriously.

"....no."

"You wanted to protect Cade and the city?"

"...yes."

"Pomni, you're not what you think of yourself. Cade was frightened, anyone would be, but he doesn't hate you. No one hates you."

Pomni gave a dry laugh. "Jax might..."

Caine chuckled a little. "Jax is a special case." He looked Pomni over, she had cleaned herself off a bit before seeing Cade, but there were still dried oil stains on her clothes and skin. "Let me get you clean. You'll feel a little better refreshed."

Pomni had no energy to argue. She let Caine lead her to the bathroom and remove her clothing. Caine ran a bath as hot as Pomni could stand and gestured for her to get in while he got a cleanser and washcloth.

Pomni sank into the steaming water up to her shoulders and closed her eyes. The stress of the day melted away as her body relaxed. She let out a content sigh as Caine gently bathed her. His ungloved metal hands felt cool against her synthetic skin. Pomni leaned her head back to rest against the edge of the tub.

Caine gently scrubbed away the oil, his movements deliberate but soothing. When he finished, he focused on her hair. He brushed it out, removing the tangles and wayward strands. He loved to pamper her like this, especially when she needed it like today.

Caine left a quick kiss on Pomni's forehead. "I'll let you soak. Let me know when you're ready for bed." He got up to leave but Pomni grabbed his hand.

"Join me." As much as Pomni enjoyed the water by herself, she didn't want to be alone right now.

Caine didn't need any convincing. He stripped down and eased himself into the bath behind Pomni. He held her in his lap, leaving small kisses on her neck and shoulders. "I love you." He whispered to her.

"I love you, too." Pomni mumbled back sleepily. Between the warm water and Caine's embrace, she felt relaxed enough to rest. "I'm sorry..."

Caine furrowed. "For what?"

"That you still have to deal with my bullshit."

Caine smiled warmly and kissed her cheek. "My love, I married you. I took a vow to deal with your bullshit for the rest of my life."

Pomni smiled a little. "My condolences."

"Keep them, just give me everything else." He hugged her tighter.

"All yours." Pomni yawned. "Thank you, for this."

"My pleasure, dear." Caine held her as she drifted off. He enjoyed the bath for a little longer before blinking them both into the bed, dry as a bone. He tucked Pomni in and held her to him as he found sleep.

[dr-spencer-reids-queen]

Risky Business: Part One

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Female!Reader

Word Count: ~2.2k

Summary: The repercussions of being in prison finally take a toll on you. You're yelling at everyone, short and curt, and you're in a constant state of wanting to cry. Will this bitter cycle ever end?

Warnings: canon violence, canon language, canon talk of death, methods of kill

Season Five Masterlist

Author’s Note: I do not own anything from Criminal Minds. All credit goes to their respective owners. If there are any warnings that exceed the normal death/kills from the show, I will list them.

x

"Life is a game, play it. ... Life is too precious, do not destroy it." - Mother Teresa

Spencer makes two cups of coffee in the break room with an extra shot of something good for you. He looks over at you to see you staring at your computer with a far-out look in your eyes. He hates this. He hates not being able to help you. Screw going to prison. He doesn't care that you didn't let you see him. He cares about what it's doing to you. Maybe it's best if you didn't let him see you. Maybe he might have seen something worse in your eyes. 

He walks over to you and holds out the coffee for you but you make no move to grab it.

"I made you some coffee." You shake your head in response. "I promise you'll like it."

"Spencer, I said I'm fine," you snap.

The only reason your being short is because you're so fucking tired. Spencer doesn't let this bother him and leaves the coffee by your desk. This is breaking your heart. You hate this. You hate treating him like this when he doesn't deserve it. Prison ruined you and you're letting it affect everyone around you.

You watch Spencer go back to his desk and you sigh. You open your mouth to say something to him but you decide against it. You grab the coffee and taste it. Damn, this is good coffee.

JJ walks into work and passes by both your and Spencer's desks. She would stop by and say hi but she's on a mission. She approaches Hotch's office and waits for permission to go inside.

"I'm not sure what we have here, but I just got a call and some case files from Sheriff Samuel in Uinta County, Wyoming. Six nights ago, two different teens were found hanging In their bedrooms. Trish Leake was dead when she was found. Ryan Krouse was revived on scene but then died a few days later in the hospital. I know we don't handle suicides, but the previous Friday, two more boys a few towns over were found hanging on the backs of their doors."

"Four successful suicides in the same rural county in a week? That's way above the national average."

"I know. These kids don't fit the pattern. None of them had drug or alcohol abuse, no antidepressants, and no prior arrests. These are just plain good kids who decided to hang themselves at approximately the same time on a Friday night." Hotch doesn't say anything so she continues. "When someone feels trapped in what feels like a hopeless situation, pulling the trigger or swallowing pills or hanging yourself seems like the only way out. None of that seems to exist here. Something's wrong. Hotch, I can feel it. Look, all these events happened on a Friday. It's Wednesday. We're not on another case right now."

"Alright," he nods. "Generate an equivocal death investigation and get everybody on the jet. We will determine whether these are homicides or suicides. Even if they are suicides, there's definitely something wrong here."

When you get the news from JJ about the case, you meet everyone on the plane. Penelope is going with you for this one because Hotch knows there is a connection between these victims and the internet. She'll be useful going with you.

"Sir, it's not that I'm not glad to be coming with you, because I am, but I just don't understand the why."

"One of the aspects of an equivocal death investigation when suicide is a probability is an indirect personality assessment. Our victims are all internet-generation kids. There should be invaluable personal data on their computers to mine for the evaluation. If they committed suicide, evidence of it will be in their cyber world."

"So, I'm gonna snoop through dead kids' computers?"

"This plane seldom makes pleasure trips," Rossi chuckles.

"We've all been over the files. Let's talk about victimology," Hoch says when you're in the air.

"Okay, all four kids were decent students ranging from different neighboring towns but in the same school and the same county. All were active in sports and the community. Their families were intact with no mental disorders and no precipitating events."

"These are just average good kids. There has to be some underlying issue," Derek says.

"Besides relative proximity, there's no obvious connection between any of them. It seems to rule out an overt suicide pact."

"The first few days leading up to a teenager's suicide are usually very telling. Their behavior is transparent. There's a multitude of indicators," Spencer explains.

"Yeah, but the most common don't exist here," JJ argues. "There are no prior attempts, no period of deep depression, no withdrawal from family members, and no spontaneous proclamations of love."

"Spontaneous proclamations of love?" Penelope asks as she gets out her knitting stuff.

"Sometimes a suicidal person, in the days leading up to the act, will just blurt out 'I love you' to family, sort of like a goodbye. We'll start with the latest two victims. If they were suicides, let's find out what drove them to it."

The plane ride is going to last around four hours so Penelope knits to pass the time, and Emily takes out some sort of puzzle that piques Spencer's interest. It's a weirdly shaped 3D puzzle that can be taken apart and fitted back together. She takes it apart so that all the pieces are on the table.

"What's that?" he asks.

"It's called a star puzzle. It's basically impossible to figure out. You have to put all of the pieces back together to form a perfect star." Spencer grabs a piece to examine it. "The origin of it is kind of a romantic tale." Derek, Rossi, and Penelope listen to the story from their seats. "There was this young prince who wanted to win the heart of the fairest maiden in the land. He climbed to the top of the tallest tower in the kingdom and caught a falling star for her. Unfortunately, he was so excited that he dropped it. It smashed into all of these pieces so he frantically put it back together again to prove his undying love to her. He succeeded and they lived happily ever after."

"That doesn't make any sense."

"What do you mean?"

"You can't catch a falling star. It would burn up in the atmosphere."

You love Spencer. His words almost make you smile. Almost.

"Yeah, but it's not literal, Reid. It's a fable."

"There's no moral. Fables have morals."

"Okay, so it's a romantic little story. The point is, it's basically impossible to do because you have to take all of those pieces and put them together exactly--" As she talks, Spencer puts the puzzle together easily. He slowly puts it on the table and she sighs. He seems proud to solve it. "There's a lot to hate about you, Dr. Reid."

"Play poker with him sometime," Derek smirks.

"Try playing chess with him," Rossi says.

"Or Go," Penelope chimes in.

Spencer's spirit is dwindled a bit and you look at him to see a slight frown on his face. He feels a twinge of sadness. He knows his teammates are annoyed with how smart he is sometimes. However, feeling that sadness comes from him sets you off. It's your anger. It's how tired you are. You're letting it control you.

"Like you guys are any better," you snap at them. You look at Penelope. "You are always too happy." You look at Derek. "You always have some snarky comment to everything." You look at Emily. "You try too hard." You look at Rossi. "You are arrogant. We all have our flaws so leave him alone."

That sends an uncomfortable silence in the plane. You scoff and put your headphones in so you don't have to listen to them anymore. You're lashing out because you're hurt and scared.

"Sorry," Emily mumbles.

"No, don't be sorry," Spencer sighs. "She's waking up every night screaming and covered in sweat. She's scared and she's not getting any sleep. She didn't mean it."

"What the hell happened to her in there?" Emily asks quietly.

"She won't talk to me about it," Spencer shrugs. "She's writing in her notebook a lot but that's it. I hope therapy will help her because it's killing me to see her this way."

If you were at any other job on any other team, you'd be fired right now. They are doing their best to work with you and you're making it so difficult right now. No one says a word about what happened on the plane even after you landed.

"Hello, I'm Rhonda Samuel," the detective greets you when you get to the station.

"Hi, I'm Agent Jareau. We spoke on the phone."

"Thanks for coming out. My county's getting pretty shaken up. I got this reporter who won't stop calling. I'm holding him off but he's connecting the dots on the number of suicides. Should I call him back?"

"No, not just yet. We need to be very careful about when we release this information. Sensationalizing these deaths may cause a domino effect on other kids."

"The term is suicide contagion," Spencer says. "The spread of suicidal thoughts among a group of people that sometimes results in copycat acts. It's especially prevalent in teen cases, and studies suggest that media coverage is sometimes associated with more deaths."

"Is there a good place for me to set up?" Penelope asks.

"Yeah, but I don't have much of a command center."

"Oh, fret not. I have my own command center. I just need your juice."

"You got it," Rhonda nods.

"You're with me," Hotch says to you. "JJ, we need to interview the victim's families. We should start with Trish."

"They are expecting me to show up at their house. I'll gladly give that conversation to you."

"Come on."

Hotch is the boss. You and JJ follow Hotch to Trish's house to talk to her parents. There is nothing that suggests she was depressed from outside her house.

"Please, come in," Trish's mom says when you get there. She leads you into the living room where her husband is. "I can't believe she's gone. She was so excited about graduating high school next year. She couldn't wait for her SATs."

"Was Trish dating anyone?" you ask.

"No."

"Billy Sullivan," the mother says at the same time as the father.

"Is that who she's--"

"Yes," the mother sighs.

"What is it, Mr. Leake?"

"She ran up over $100 texting last month. We grounded her and took away her cell."

"Not we. Me. I did that. Why didn't you tell me she had a boyfriend?"

"Because you would have freaked out."

"No, I wouldn't."

"You are right now."

"Not because she had a boyfriend, because I may have caused--"

"Mr. Leake, if your daughter committed suicide, it wouldn't have been because of some punishment," JJ butts in. You sigh at her choice of words. If. "It's so much more complicated than that."

Both the mother and father look at each other and then at her.

"If?"

"Excuse me?"

"You said 'if' she committed suicide."

"Would you mind showing us Trish's room?"

"Sure. It's this way."

You look at JJ who looks guilty for suggesting that her daughter might have been murdered. You walk into Trish's room and see remnants of herself inside the room. She studied. She hung out with her friends. She got ready for big events. There is no indication--physical or spiritual-- that would suggest she was depressed. Not even close enough to take her own life. She was happy.

"Well, she certainly was accomplished," Hotch says when she notices her trophies and awards.

You grab her journal and start to go through it. Maybe there is something in here that will give you some sort of clue.

"There's nothing unusual in her diary," you say.

"Do you really have to go through all her personal stuff? She was such a private girl," the mother sighs.

"We are terribly sorry to have to do this. We care about Trish, and we want to make sure this doesn't happen to anybody else's daughter."

"Mr. and Mrs. Leake?" JJ stands by the entrance to the bedroom. "There's a form I need you both to fill out. Can you come with me?"

"If you need anything, please let us know."

"Thank you."

The parents follow JJ out of the room, leaving you and Hotch alone.

"There's nothing indicating that she was depressed here. She was a happy girl. I can feel it." You cling to that happiness and soak it in but it doesn't help you feel better. "Those poor people."

"I just hope we haven't made it worse for them."

"Could we? The personal touches show she was comfortable here. Not to mention what I feel and see. She's a low suicide risk if I've seen one. It's pretty obvious Trish had everything to live for."

"Maybe Garcia will find something on the laptop that we're not seeing here."

"Okay." You're about to leave the room and pause. You have to get this out. "Hotch, I'm sorry. I know I seem like such a disappointment to you."

"You're not. I can understand what you're going through. You have to realize we're only here trying to help so yelling at everyone isn't going to get you anywhere."

"I know," you nod sadly.

"I am more than happy to give you more time off if you need it."

"I'm afraid I won't come back if you do. I have to be here. If I'm alone, I'm reminded of that time."

"Okay. Please let me know if you need anything."

"Okay," you whisper.

x

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