#we're gonna talk 24/7 right? and nobody wanted to play anything. but at first i asked if it's alright with everyone and

[featherymainffins]

Honestly I never know if I'm invited somewhere or not and different groups seem to give me different signals at seemingly random. I show up somewhere and get told that it was rude of me and that everyone dislikes me now. I don't show up and people later ask me why I didn't come.

[dragonbugsuperior]

Something that I've been meaning to say about Miraculous's "Rich Girls".............

Before I even go into this, All you Lila, Chloe, and Kagami stans out there I suggest to skip this post, leave disgusting comments and I'll block and report you because I'm saying it now, that I will be saying some things about Lila, Chloe, and Kagami that aren't really pretty. If you like their characters "Yay!" good for you,

Nobody cares. grow up

So........something has been on my mind lately and I would like to get it off my chest because it's just been stuck in my head and I think it's good if I do make some clear points that clearly people are missing in regards to the show's "rich girls". So Marinette.....has been going through alot this past season and people are saying stupid things like "Oh wE NEeD a NEw LAdyBUg!"

Or "oH MArINeTtE iS teRRiBlE At dOiNg heR jOB!"

Let's dive right into this

I'll start with Chloe first. Chloe bullied Marinette. She has for 7 whole fucking years. Marinette has done nothing to Chloe literally. She hasn't bullied her, talked about her, criticized her, she has done nothing to that girl. But oh! Chloe is some rich snobbish brat that thinks everyone below her should be treated less of a human than she is. Where was her mom when Chlow started to go to school with Marinette? Also Chloe's mom not playing a big part of her life doesn't excuse her terrible behavior and awful treatment she has given marinette and students at her school. Just because her mom is a total snob and shallow person doesn't mean Chloe has to be exactly like her. It's okay for Chloe to express sadness and frustration but what's not okay if for Chloe to lash out all her negativity on Marinette as if Marinette has done something to her. Her parents have really failed her and she has failed herself. She's so full of herself that I'm starting to believe she's delusional. Clinging onto Adrien 24/7 at school like their some type of couple is already mouth-gagging. Like girl, he is not some toy that is all yours and that you can just cling yourself onto. I'm glad Marinette calls her out on her bullshit and handles Chloe's ass and she's not afraid to do so.

And that tacky ass makeup really defeats the purpose because it's makes her look worser than her personality. Tired of these blonde stuck up popular rich girls that think they can just overrule people.

Treating everybody around her like her peasants is clichè mean girl shit. I'm willing to go as far as to say she's a fucking narcissist. Having excessive interest and admiration for herself and treating everybody around her like shit as if she's 10 times more important than they are when in reality she's nothing but a spoiled brat that's jealous because she knows Marinette is better than her.

2nd to last....Lila

Literally 'lie' is in her name. She lies her mouth off and thinks she's fooling every fucking body. Marinette knows damn well she's lying and tells her up to her face in Chameleon. I'm sorry but her lies are ridiculous and the class is so undeniably stupid for believing her bullshit. Yea she's another "spoiled rich girl" her mom is present in her life but we know nothing about her dad. Don't know what happened to him and I don't care to know what happened to him. I know one thing though. Just like in Chloe's case, her dad being absent doesn't make it "okay" for her to be a two-faced person who can pathologically lie to people for personal gain. That's disgusting and weak of a person. She literally frames Marinette and corners her in the bathroom to a wall and pushed herself down the steps to look like she's actually injured. Her fans can try to shed all the light they want on her character but that's never gonna erase all the terrible shit she's done. And once again! Marinette has done nothing to Lila and somehow Marinette is Lila's main target. She lied about her friendship with Ladybug just to impress a boy. Her negativity she's trying to pass onto Marinette isn't working because Marinette is strong and optimistic. I can't believe she had fans, cough looks like a knock-off version of Dora cough. She's so stupid she really thinks Adrien wants to be with someone like her. A liar and manipulative bitch. lol

Kagami.......

"But Jen she's only been a character since season-

Yea I already know how long she's been in the show but that doesn't mean that I'm going to get her the benefit of the doubt. First time she met Marinette she treated her terribly as if Marinette did anything to her. Then again, people like to claim she's from a strict household so that gives her an excuse when it really doesn't. Secondly Kagami in general seems phony, Marinette is trying to be her friend and give up on Adrien just for her!!! and so she can grow as a person!!!!! Kagami chose Adrien over Marinette while Marinette gave up Adrien just so Kagami can have him. Seems like the only reason Kagami really wants to be friends with Marinette is because of Adrien. But let's not get into that.... In Animeastro she acted like she had a problem Marinette was talking to Adrien. I just don't get her at all. One minute she wants to be Marinette's friend (which I believe is completely fake) and then the next she's glaring daggers at her as if she did anything to her.

I don't even want to fucking hear "Oh but Jenny, Marinette didn't confes- SHUT. THE. FUCK. UP. Marinette has tried time after time to confess she's always getting interrupted. Kagami thinks of Adrien like some prize to win all for herself after only knowing him for not too long. Give me a break then she's the one who got akumatized over a fucking picture instead of asking Adrien "hey, what's this?" She got salty and got akumatized. In Frozer, Adrien told her that he had feelings for someone else, she jumped to conclusions and thought it was fucking Marinette and suggested him to "switch targets" he told her he wouldn't and she still pushes him to literally kissing him and then getting mad because he rejected it. Girl! Did he not fucking say that he has feelings for another girl and he won't be switching targets. She's really that desperate that she's telling Adrien to get over that other girl, and she's so fucking desperate she tried to kiss him then got mad when he didn't kiss her back. Let's not forget she literally cut out the fencing class picture and left Adrien and herself out. Then she gave us a little "insight" on how she views Adrien in Oni-Chan. "Image of Perfection" she likes Adrien because he's perfect? That's funny. Because for 1, he's not nobody is and for 2 that's a stupid reason to like somebody. Let's not also forget when she literally lied in Miracle Queen about the villain attacking people in love. She knows Adrien likes somebody else so why is she trying so hard to push into being with her? Desperate much? "We're so alike" and Kagami really believes their soulmates? She should just shut the fuck up. She sounds stupid as fuck. How are you "soulmates" with someone you just met not too long ago. Bless her delusional soul. After he rejected her kiss and only knowing him for 2 seasons. Liiiiike......are you that desperate for a boy. I can't wait to see her reaction to when Adrien dates Marinette. Lmao

It's so funny how all these girls think Adrien's theirs when in reality Marinette is his true soulmate and is gonna end up with him in the end. Adrienette is literally endgame. There's no need for people like Chloe, Lila, and Kagami to get on the way of that. It's also funny how people like to claim Marinette as the possessive one when all these rich spoiled brats have gotten akumatized over him, cling onto him like he's some coat rack, and go out their way to make Marinette feel terrible. And marinette has given Adrien up. The only real clear reason I can see the 3 of them act bitchy towards marinette without a reason would be because they're jealous and don't have the best lives at home and wish to be like marinette.

If I'm not mistaken who's the one that got bullied for 7 years straight and tries her very best to be strong? Who's the one that literally got sexually harassed by Felix? Who's the one who has anxiety? Who's the one who has pressure and responsibilities hunched all over their shoulders? Who's the one that has go around every fucking day to save their city? Oh okay. Everybody always wants to talk about how tough they are without actually going through some real shit. Because I don't recall Lila, Chloe or Kagami going through any of these things while treating Marinette like shit. Kagami is the one that lied to Adrien, Kagami is the one that treated Marinette like crap, Kagami is the one that pushed Adrien after he said he had feelings for someone else /this b*tch didn't even wait/, Kagami is the one that is acting like Lila and Chloe. Let Marinette act like how Kagami did, I'm pretty sure she would've got bashed.

Once they go through all that bullshit then we can chit chat until then, they don't know what struggle is. Spoiled ass brats who clearly don't deserve Adrien because they're immature. They think Adrien's "theirs" they pushed themselves on him as if they can't live without him and they do sneaky shit in order to be with him. Lila and Kagami have clearly showed they would lie to get with him and Chloe does too. Marinette has the courage to let Adrien go, I'm pretty sure if the shoe was on the other foot Kagami would never let Adrien go.

And before people go around saying how it's their parents fault they act do toxically and immature (bc ppl like to give them excuses for their "mommy and daddy" issues) it's really not. Yes, it's partially their parents because they raised them but they also have a big role for their actions. No body is responsible for making Chloe, Lila, or Kagami a better person. No body. Stop putting the blame all on their parents because it's not just the parents I'm pretty sure Tomoe didn't teach Kagami to "lie" in order to get with a boy. Kagami chose to lie to Adrien in Miracle Queen with her own free will. Nobody said "lie to Adrien" Kagami lied that's her fault Nobody told Chloe to bully and belittle Marinette, Audrey is very shallow and brat-like but I don't recall her ever saying "Chloe bully Marinette" Nobody told Lila to constantly lie and manipulate people hell, her mom doesn't even know she's doing it! None of their parents are responsible for certain shit they do so stop pretending like their innocent kids that have horrible parents. I don't have time to analyze if Kagami is like Chloe and Lila or not because I know she is like them she acts just like them. Treats marinette like crap but acts different when Adrien's around. Simple. I tried to give her character a chance in Oni-Chan but after hearing how she views Adrien and how she acted in Miracle Queen I hated her even more than I did before.

Truth be told, Chloe, Lila, nor Kagami are nothing without Adrien. If we're really gonna go there. Their just some pointless characters that want to get in the way of things and can't stay in their places. Marinette made this show, she's the center of the plot, without her their is no Chloe, without her there is no Lila, without her there is no Kagami.

Call me absent-minded but I see alot of jealous hoes and I'm not with that shit at all. Sorry not sorry

[bobasheebaby]

91 Lucifer prompts

Some of my favorite quotes from my favorite devil. (Cut at 15 cause it’s long.)

Lucifer Morningstar

1 “People don’t arrive broken. They start with passion and yearning until something comes along that disabuses them of those notions.”

2 “People don’t have power over us. We give it to them.” 

3 “The best thing to do is always to follow your greatest desire.”

4 “Sometimes we are what we are, and we should embrace that.”

5 “Desire shouldn’t be contained, it’s unnatural.” 

6 “Why do humans think they can rectify one evil with another?”

7 “Life’s too short to hold grudges.”

8 “Believe me, there is no winning when you play by a twisted tyrant’s rules.” 

9 “You shouldn’t have to change for anyone. And neither should I.” 

10 “I refuse to be a scapegoat for which something I bear no responsibility. It’s a theme in my life.”

11 “Trust me, I’ve been doing this a long time. I know evil.”

12 “If you desire something, just take it.”

13 “Trust me, if there’s one thing I know, it’s desire.”

14 “What I hate more than anything is a liar, a charlatan, someone who doesn’t believe in what they say.”

15 “Hell truly hath no fury like a man/woman scorned.”

16 “No one gives us the right… we take it.”

17 “Mmm, dangerous. NAME likes.”

18 “There was immediate danger. He/she was about to leave this man/woman completely unsatisfied.”

19 “When in doubt, go with the classics. That’s what I always say.”

20 “Guilt is such a useless emotion”

21 “Take a swing and I’ll shove that so far up your ass, you’ll have splinters in your stool.”

22 “What makes us vulnerable is often right under our noses.”

23 “Now tell me, what is it that you truly desire?”

24 “Well, maybe it’s like butt stuff. Easier the second time around.”

25 “It’s always the ones you least suspect, the ones you trust the most, that hurt you. They wait until your guard is down and then wham! In my case, it was tequila.”

Chloe Decker

26 “It’s better to move forward than stay stuck in the past.” 

27 “We can’t control what happens to us only how it affects us and the choices we make.”

28 “You have to stop taking responsibility for things that you can’t control.” 

29 “Sometimes we get along best with the people we’re most different from.”

30 “Pull yourself together. You look like a homeless magician!”

31 “It’s really not a good day for… your… NAMEness”

32 “You don’t save a marriage by sleeping with other people.”

33 “If you go looking for loopholes, you’ll always find them.”

34 “NAME’s not another guy/gal. He’s/She’s a weirdo.”

35 “As any parent knows, the best time to get things done is when everyone else is asleep.”

36 “I wasn't afraid of you.”

37 “I don't want you to see me like this. I know it scares you.” “No, that's... that's what I was trying to tell you. I'm not... I'm not afraid of you anymore.” “You're not?” “You see, this is what I'm talking about. It's so sweet. I'm going to puke.”

38 “I miss him/her. I mean, he/she pisses me off all the time. And there are so many things about him/her that ... that I find hard to accept, but I just have to believe I can find a way. Because ... I'd rather have him/her in my life than not.” “Well, then... I think you know what you need to do.”

39 “You're different than me. You're stronger. You could have run, but you didn't. Why didn't you?”

40 “It's not like you haven't always told me the truth. You know? So ... I think, deep down, I just ... I always knew.”

41 “Let's pretend for one second that you're someone else. Someone nice, someone mature.” “Ooh, I love role-play.”

42 “What, you're just gonna leave me here? In this part of town?” “You said you wanted danger.”

43 “Please tell me I'm hallucinating.” “Well, I am dreamy, but try to contain yourself.”

44 “You step out of line one time …” “You can give me a right-good spanking, I promise.”

45 “This cannot be true. Can it? I mean ... if you knew this, why wouldn't you say something? I mean, I almost married him/her. I mean, I almost married him/her.” “I tried to tell you, but you wouldn't listen.”

46 “Oh, my God. Did the world just turn upside down? Did you just admit to being wrong?”

47 “You know, it can be scary sometimes, but ... being who you really are is never a bad idea.”

48 “I need you to stay here and watch your dad/mom.” “That's true. Without the two of us, he’s/she's defenseless.” “I don't know if I like what you're whispering about.”

49 “How long have I been out?” “Three years.” “What?!” [NAME starts laughing] “You’re such an ass.”

50 “I couldn't sleep last night, so I stayed up all night working, and, you know, I drank a lot of caffeine. Like, a lot.”

Mazikeen Smith

51 “If you go by someone else’s pace, it shows how much you really care.”

52 “Sometimes you have to accept when someone doesn’t feel the same way about you.” 

53 “Self-worth comes from within, bitches.” 

54 “I would never ask you to change. I like who you are.” 

55 “Hey! No one calls my skank a skank.” 

56 “Good. It's settled. Now, where do I put my knives.”

57 “Okay. One, I like to fight when I'm happy or ... horny. And, two, I really don't want to accidentally kill my best friend.”

58 “Maybe next time, I won't be around to save your ass.” “Mm! Well, that is a shame. 'Cause you and my backside used to get on very well. My front side, as well, actually.”

59 “And your name?” “NAME.” “How do you spell that?” “Surprise me.” [Later gets coffee with "WRONG NAME" on it]

60 “Everything that happened showed me exactly why I need to go back.” “I don't understand.”

Linda Martin

61 “Emotions are hard, but that’s why they make you strong.” 

62 “Goodness isn’t a toy.”

63 “Sometimes we need to lose something to understand its value.”

64 “Sometimes it’s easier to make intimate issues about something bigger than yourself.” 

65 “I find people who are rude usually feel powerless in their own lives. Terrified of not being in control.”

66 “Look... I know I'm not dad/mom, or partner or whatever. But I ...” “No. No, you're not. Come here. You are Uncle/Auntie NAME. And you will always ... be a member of this family.”

67 “Let's talk about what you're dealing with emotionally.” “Yeah, I really don't want to.”

68 “Why is he:she able to refuse my charms? I mean, is this thing on?” [points at him/herself] “Yes, yes. Definitely on.”

69 “How's that saying go? We're all in the gutter, but some of us are looking up at the stars.”

70 “Should've seen that one coming.”

Amenadiel

71 “We need the most love when we’re being most unlovable.” 

72 “No matter how bad things get, the true test is how we choose to respond to the pain. We suffer, or inflict.”

73 “Cosmos are yummy.”

74 “If you really want to know if you’re a worthy romantic partner, ask yourself.”

75 “NAME. What are you doing here? Did you hurt NAME?” “Only when he/she asked me nicely.”

Ella Lopez

76 “Whenever I’m procrastinating on something, I make an appointment for myself to do it. That way, can’t back out.”

77 “You see what I'm dealing with?”

78 “Hey. No one insults my family, except for me.”

79 [high on "candy"] “I know I should be freaking out right now, but your hair is so shiny.”

80 I'm usually not into reality shows either. I prefer more, you know, scripted-content, documentaries, but... I've got a little extra time these days, so... sort of kind of watched, uh, 27 seasons in two weeks.

Dan Espinoza 

81 “We all need someone to have our backs every now and then.”

82 “Ooh, lemon bars. My favorite. Mmm. Oh, man, these are amazing. Who made 'em?” “Uh, NAME did. Would you believe that hunk bakes?” [spits out the bars] “On second thought, who needs the empty calories?”

83 “Say you fall in love with a man/woman who has a cat. What are you gonna do? You accept the cat.” 

84 “Are you sleeping with this idiot?” “He/She hasn't had the pleasure, unfortunately, no.”

85 “Dude, I cannot deal with your weirdness right now.”

Trixie Espinoza

86 “We’re wearing the same shirt!” [both] “Sushi shirt!” [from around the corner] “I don’t know what’s going on out there, but I hate it!”

87 “I ate it.” “Mm-hmm.” “But NAME said it was okay.” “Oh, really?” “He/She said, if you really want to do something, you should. And I really wanted to eat some chocolate cake.”

88 “Are you looking at a no-no site?” “No. Why would you think that?” “Because you put it away so fast, and you look really, really guilty.”

89 “NAME, sever their Achilles first. If they can't walk ...” “They can't betray you.”

90 “You need to get a thicker skin. Stand up for yourself, because the truth is, nobody’s gonna do it for you.” — Charlotte Richards

91 “Anybody worth dating should understand everything that makes you … you.” — Ev

[viinchester]

Prompts

How/What to request

Please comment or send an ask with the number of the prompt(s) you want + the character + more details you want to be included. I'm feeling really creative right now, so I might be able to do some of your requests.

-

1. "Did you bring us here to die?" - "Obviously." - "I can't tell if you're being sarcastic or not."

2. "You.. You are-.." - "Beautiful? A genius? Immensely talented?" - "Dangerous."

3. "All that blood looks good on you, it really brings out your eyes."

4. "You keep on pointing that gun at me and blabber about how much you've been wanting to kill me. I'm beginning to doubt your commitment."

5. "Remove your hand or I will rip your arm off and beat you to death with it."

6. "I don't care if you're panicking - just do it quietly."

7. "How long have you been standing there?" - "Longer than you'd like."

8. "Keep your morals away from me."

9. "When did you become so smart?" - "Since I stopped listening to you."

10. "I remember kissing you.. Why do I remember kissing you?"

11. "I was just kind of hoping that you'd.. y'know.. fall in love with me."

12. "Well, that didn't end the way I expected it to, but at least nobody important died."

13. "You're going to have to tell people you're leaving eventually." - "Yeah, but how should I do it? Shall I shout it from the rooftops or send a mass e-mail?"

14. "I have never been so insulted!" - "You don't listen much then, do you?"

15. "What are you doing?" - "… Eating." - "We're being held hostage and you decide to raid the kitchen!?" - ".. They didn't say the fridge was off limits."

16. "Come over here and make me."

17. "I have a name and it's not sweetheart."

18. "I wouldn't miss you. Nobody would." - "..." - "No, wait! I didn't-" - "Fuck off, I hate you."

19. "I really wish you were never born." - "Well, me neither. But.. life be like that sometime." - ".. You're an idiot, you know that?"

20. "I'm dying and you can't do anything about it, so please just hold me. I don't want to die here alone.."

21. "You're bleeding! Where's your friend!?" - "Left me to die to save their own ass. Guess you were right, I really am not worth it."

22. "Did you really think I cared about you?"

23. "This is what I get from trusting you.. Everybody told me to stay away from you, but I ignored them.." - "Yeah, that was really stupid. You should've known better. And for the record: I don't regret anything."

24. "You lied to me! Everything you ever did.. It was all just a game to you!" - "You found out? What a shame.. I kind of enjoyed playing with you."

25. "This is a joke, right? Right!?"

26. "What are you doing?" - "Just what's long over due."

27. "I'm a monster." - "You know you're not."

28. "Listen, I believe there's good inside of you somewhere.. Just.. Just put that knife down, okay?"

29. "Sometimes you need to make your sarcasm more clear."

30. "Oh crap. That's your »I did something bad«-face."

31. "This never happened. Understood?"

32. "Can't you be happy for me for just five minutes?"

33. "You don't give a damn about me!" - "Frankly, I do give a damn about you, my dear."

34. "Innocent until proven guilty, my friend."

35. "You did what!?"

36. "I know I'm very drunk, but I want to kiss you so bad.." - "Excuse you?"

37. "Are you done?" - "Depends."

38. "I should hate you, but all I feel is love!" - "Well, I have that effect on people."

39. "I didn't do it." - "Then why are you laughing?" - "Because whoever did it is a genius."

40. "Was it really necessary to hit me with the corpse's leg?" - "Necessary? No. Hilarious? Yes."

41. "Oh, you're still alive." - "Don't sound so disappointed, I might begin to think you don't like me."

42. "Hold on, you died!" - "Yeah well, it didn't really stick."

43. "I think I'm having a feeling. How do I make it stop?"

44. "This is a beautiful place." - "What a shame you came from so far away to destroy it, right?" - "Not really."

45. "I don't like how that ended. Let's pretend it never happened." - ".. Life doesn't work like that." - "It does now."

46. "I didn't-.. I didn't mean to! This wasn't what I wanted!"

47. "Do you feel any remorse for what you did to them? For what you did to me?"

48. "Please, you have to let me make this right!"

49. "How long are you going to keep on blackmailing me?"

50. "This is going to sound controversial, but I think that went well."

51. "You know, you're adorable when you're mad." - "I could literally kill you."

52. "Well, this is a nice change of scenery." - "It's a prison cell." - "I was being sarcastic."

53. "Run! Run away as long as you got the chance!" - "Run away from what!?" - "From me!"

54. "Rumour has it, I make you nervous."

55. "I can't focus with your damn hand in my- ah.. Oh…"

56. "How are you mad at me, when I'm the one with the broken arm!?"

57. "Well, shit. I'll need a fucking lawyer."

58. "Are you enjoying the party?" - "Party? This isn't a party." - "Not until somebody almost dies."

59. "FUCK! You scared the shit out of me!"

60. "Don't. Move."

61. "You're bleeding on my carpet."

62. "Excuse me, but whoever stood you up is an idiot and a jerk."

63. "Call me that one more time and you'll see what happens."

64. "It's pitch black in here and I can still see you're blushing."

65. "Am I supposed to be scared of you?"

66. "Murder is kinda against the law, you know?"

67. "Bend over."

68. "Beg for it."

69. "I'll make sure you never see them again."

70. "If you relaxed, it wouldn't hurt so much."

71. "There you are. Did you really think you were gonna escape?"

72. "I love you, I love you so much and I'll make sure you feel the same." - "You-.. You are insane.."

73. "Let me out of here! You're a fucking psychopath! I won't ever bend to your will!" - "Now, why did you have to make me mad by saying something so inconsiderate?"

74. "See, now was that so bad?" - "We're in the hospital, you idiot!" - "Yeah, but we could be dead instead, so I consider us lucky."

75. "How do you even sleep at night?" - "Oh, just like a baby."

76. "It'd be a shame if I had to damage that beautiful face.."

77. "Stop struggling. It doesn't have to be painful."

78. "I killed my own blood. What do you think I could do to you?"

79. Person A is wrapped in christmas lights, their body bound tightly to the chair they're sitting on. Person B comes in and grins. "Oh boy, I must've been good this year."

80. "Why don't you ever listen to my orders!?" - "I don't like being told what to do."

81. "I'll go easy on you."

82. "You don't look like a professional criminal.." - "Oh sorry, let me just.. grab my Ted-Bundy-Mask and put on some bloody gloves."

83. "You don't have to stay. I understand."

84. "You don't have to fight me."

85. "Watch me."

86. "You make a sound and it's game over."

87. "I'm like 75% sure this isn't going to kill us."

88. "Uhm, I don't think kidnapping is legal.. So if you could just let me go, that would be great."

89. "Please, I'm begging you.. I will do anything!" - "Anything, you say?"

90. "Cooperate with me and nobody will get hurt."

91. "Shoot him/her. Or I shoot you."

92. "I'm not going to kill you, Y/N. You will kill yourself."

93. "Your life is completely in my hands, so don't test my boundaries."

94. "Why are you crying?"

95. "I could help you, but it will cost you."

96. "Oh, you mean you need.. this antidote?"

97. "Go ahead and pray. See what good that does for you."

98. "What did you do to them!?"

99. "If we get caught, I'm blaming you."

100. "Complain all you want, but hurry and help me hide the body while you're at it!"

101. Person A to Person B: "There's no way in hell I'm doing that!" *Five seconds later* Person B to Person A while watching them do it: "You were saying?"

102. "They don't make a card saying »Sorry for almost bleeding out on your two thousand dollar couch and completely ruining it«, so I got you this instead."

103. "I didn't ask you, because I knew you were going to deny. And I don't need your fucking permission to do anything!"

104. "I am the only thing standing between you and all those people out there wanting to kill you, so I strongly suggest you stop pissing me off."

105. "Why is everbody running around like the city's on fire? What did I miss?"

106. "Alright, so I'll do this ridiculous thing you asked me to do, but in exchange you'll have to come to family-dinner with me and pretend to be my boyfriend/girlfriend, because I've kinda been lying to my family about being in a relationship to get them off my back and now they want to meet my partner."

107. "That's a terrible thing to carve into a tree."

108. "This is definitely not as charming as you might think."

109. "But that wasn't the fucking question, was it?"

110. "You take me instead! Do you hear me? Give her/him/them back and take me instead!"

111. "You know I hear you talking, but I still don't have my coffee."

112. "Take one more step and I'll snap her pretty little neck."

113. "This is real. You're real, I'm real.. I need you to come back to reality with me."

114. "You shouldn't have seen that."

115. "Whatever you do, don't make a sound."

116. "I'd rather be spitting blood."

117. "You can't have her and it's killing you inside."

118. "I could hear you screaming, are you alright?"

119. "I was made to destroy. Not to fix or repare, but to break."

120. "I know how this goes. First, you buy me a drink, then you tell me how pretty I look and at the end of the night, you'll ask for my number."

121. "I'm drunk and I hate everything.. Wait, lemme correct myself, I hate everything but you."

122. "Put the gun down, please. You're starting to scare me.."

123. "I'm right here. I've been here all along. Please, just.. see me."

124. "Stop looking at me with pity in your eyes. Stop it. Stop fucking looking at me like that!"

125. "You took adventage of me when all I did was help you. Others would've left a long time ago, but I kept on believing in you. But you only ever saw me as an opportunity to get what you wanted.."

126. "You really don't know how to talk to women, do you?" - "There was no need to until now!"

127. "You already know how this will end. It always ends with my blood on your hands. I've come to terms with it, you should get used to the idea too. After all, you can't change destiny."

128. "If you want to keep me away, then tell me a lie that will hurt me so deep I'll never want to see you again." - "I love you."

129. "Go ahead, underestimate me. That will be fun."

[g-lbertblythe]

The Bracelet | Brad Simpson

My native language is not English. That's why there'll be a lot of mistakes. So sorry.

Warning: Full of clichés.

*

"Tristan, have you seen my bracelet?"

You asked the blonde who's sitting on the couch with his phone on both of his hand. His legs were on the coffee table you all use.

"What bracelet?" He asked.

"The one I always wear." You said to him. You see him literally 7/24 but clearyly he doesn't pay attention enough. The bracelet was really important to you. You never take it off, even when you go in the shower. You had two best friends, three of you had the same bracelet. You wore it since you were 12 or something.

"I don't know. It's probably where you put it last time. " He tried to be funny in his own way. He gave you a little smile then turned back on his phone.

"Funny." You said with a voice full of frustration. You always get so angry so easily when you lose something and can't find it or when you're really, really hungry. You started to search the breakroom with a rush. Tristan didn't even mind you throwing everything in your way to the ground until the thing in your way is him. You poked him so he would stand up. Instead he searched under and near him with his hand but didn't find anything. "I think it's not here."

"It has to be. This is last place I've been yesterday before we go to that pub. If it's not here then I probably dropped it in there and it means it's gone forever. "

"Yeah, someone probably took it."

"Yeah." You refused to believe it's gone. You can't tell your friends you lost the bracelet after all these years. You all promised to each other you'll wear it until you're dead or something. They wouldn't mind it and probably tell you that it's okay but they'd be sad. You'd ve sad. Actually you already were. That's why you continued to tear up the room. It has to be around here.

"Woah. What's going on?" Connor asked when he entered the room. Probably here to have some snacks and relax. That's the only time he had while touring. But when he stepped up the room he didn't expect it to be like that.

"You've seen my bracelet?" You asked him, you got drunk yesterday. You don't usually lose yourself after drinking but maybe you gave it to him and you just don't remember now? It could be.

"What bracelet?"

"The one I always wear!" You said almost yelling. Any one of them noticed it you're wearing this bracelet like all the time? It's been so long you've been on the tour with them.

"I didn't see any bracelet."

"Are you sure? Maybe I gave it to you last night? Please say, yes you did."

You were about to cry. You really wished he would say yes.

"No. Sorry. Did you search your own room?"

This was such a stupid thing to ask. You didn't know it sounded so stupid because you're angry or because it's really a stupid question. If you lose something, you'll start searching for it in your room first. God!

"Of course I did. I searched everywhere!"

Connor tried to make it to the couch where it's comfortable. He carefully walked and tried not to step up anything you thrown. "Maybe you lost it in the pub. " He said and he sounded like it has just popped up in his brain. Like nobody could think of it before.

"I told you it's in the pub." Tristan said to annoy you.

"I'm going. You guys are no help." And intend to leave the room. "Hey! Who's gonna clean this up?" Connor yelled after you and you yelled to him before you close the door. "Not me!"

They were right. You lost it in the pub. The pub that has served atl least 40 people last night. One of the 40 people over there probably took it. You decided to go to your room and check it one more time even tough you made sure yourself it's not there the first fifteenth times you searched. You saw James and Brad are walking in the corridor. You ran towards to them. You hoped, at first, Brad didn't have it because you guys, kind of, had a fight. It wasn't something serious or it was. You weren't sure. You always have that kind of fights. He was just so annoying sometimes. But as long as you get your bracelet, it wouldn't matter if it was him.

"Hey. By any chance, did you see my bracelet?" You asked directly to James. You didn't want to speak to Brad until it's the only option.

"You have a bracelet?" He asked.

"Oh God! I wear that bracelet everyday! Are you guys blind or something?"

The second James realized you're mad, he wanted to get away from you. "I'm sorry, Y/N." He tried to be really polite and calm so it could have a mirror effect and you get calm too. " Haven't seen any bracelets." He said while trying to sneak out slowly.

He put his hand on your shoulder and patted it lightly. Then quickly made his way away from you and didn't care he left Brad standing with you. Once his hand was off your shoulder you turned to your last option.

"Did you see it?" You asked with a low voice. Didn't really want to talk to him. You don't clearly remember what you two had a disagreement about because you had a couple of drinks, he had too. But mostly because it was always something stupid but somehow it'd always become a much big deal than it is.

"The one that three diamonds on it?" He said and started walking. He wasn't looking at you, playing the bottle on his hand. He squinted and looked like he was trying to remember something.

"Yes." You said with a excitement. It was the only good news you had about the bracelet today.

"The silver one?" He asked and you nodded right away. You didn't care it was Brad who has found it or not. It has been found.

He kept walking very slowly and you were following his footsteps. "Is it the one also have this little stars on it?" He stopped and turned to you still his eyes squinted and you realized he's mocking you.

"Yes. Yes it is. Did you see it?"

"Nope." He said and walked away. You walked after him. " I have a feeling like you did."

He kept walking and his hair was flipping with every step he took. He opened the bottle of water on his hand and started drinking. Took one sip just to avoid to answer the question. You knew him very well.

"No. Didn't see any bracelets or find it on the sofa last night." He turned to you and gave you a smile knowing that it'll make you mad.

And it did.

"Okay, give it back."

"No."

"What do you mean no? It's important to me okay? Give it back."

"No. "

"Give it back Brad." You tried to sound more serious. You were serious before too but you needed to make it clear. But he wasn't just taking you seriously. He tried to keep his face emotionless but sometimes he couldn't help himself and a smirk that so annoying showing itself once in a while.

"Give it back!" You said with pitch highed voice. You hated that tone of yours but he was making you crazy and you couldn't help yourself.

"Nooo." He said.

You stopped with the idea that came to your mind. It was probably in his room and he never needed to lock it. It was probably open and you could've just find it there. He noticed you stopping and he did too. Turned to you and tried to understand what you're thinking. Before he could do that you started running to the other direction, to where his room is.

"Hey!" He yelled out after you and started running but it only made you faster. Once he figured out what you're doing he got fast too.

"Do you think I'm that stupid to hide it in my room?" He yelled after you. He didn't believe you would run this fast. He knew you weren't fond of running too much.

If it wasn't in his room, he wouldn't be running; you thought at first. But then maybe it was a trap so you would believe it's really in his room but it isn't. You didn't know and you weren't gonna risk it just because you didn't want Brad to fool you.

As soon as you reached out his room, you grabbed the door handle and yelled at him before you let yourself in. "No. Maybe even more."

You closed the door behind you and started searching but it opened seconds later. You didn't know where he'd put it and you didn't have a chance to search.

You stood right in the middle of his room. He knew where he put it so before you'd find it he would grab it and run away. So being calm was the right thing to do.

"Okay. " You said raising both of your hands to stop him and not to move closer. "Just give me the bracelet okay?"

He smiled, he knew he got the advantage of knowing where it is. He put his hands on his waist playfully and smiled. "You can have it on your own now you're here. " he said and pointed the room with his head. "Go on."

You tried to keep it calm and turned your head to look the room more carefully and started examine the room but still holding your hands still in the air like it was the thing that stopping him. Before you could understand he rolled down on his bed to the other side and reached the nightstand. And you saw your bracelet on his right hand.

"Stop goofing around and give it back. " You said and got your serious back again.

"Come and get it." He said with much wider smile this time. He held the bracelet closer to his head and pointed at it with his eyes.

You frowned. You were searching for that all morning. You were tired and exhausted. Playing games, making jokes weren't something you can handle now. "Can't you just give it to me?"

"You're a big girl. You can get it on your own."

You rolled your eyes. "You'll start running once I try to make a move."

"I might." He said laughing and still wandering his eyes on the bracelet. He wanted to play, well, you'll play. You, literally, jumped on him. He lost his balance a little but pulled himself together so quickly. You tried to reach for his hand that he lifted higher.

"We're almost at the same height, you're not keeping it from me for too long!"

And finally you grabbed his hand but he closed it and it was in his palm. You grabbed it and tried to pull under but he was strong. You only managed to drag it to your head level. And tried to make him open his fingers. He was struggling not to so hard and you hated he goes to gym almost everyday. His other hand was pushing yours.

He pushed you to the wall and it hurt your back a little but thanks to the change of position you got him to lower his hands a bit to your stomach. It started hurting your stomach too and It only made you angrier and you did the most stupid thing ever.

"You bit me! " He said in shock but sadly, it didn't make him open his hand but started trying to avoid another bite attack from you. And started laughing he remembered you bit him.

You didn't feel like laughing, your back was hurting and your hands got sweaty. And he was breathing all over you and it was making you more sweaty. You were using your all strength but still you were stuck between him and the wall. You gave up. You never did before. But you gave up at the moment. You loosened your grip and let his hand go. Not even giving him a angry face, just a face that showing that you're sick and done. You looked at him at eye.

He thought it was some kind of trick you trying to pull to steal it from his hands so he just kept smiling like an idiot and didn't take the pressure he was applying. He waited for a move. He was really having fun. Making you mad, constantly teasing you something he enjoyed somehow. And you were the perfect one to mess with because you liked it too. You were too stubborn to ever give up. It was making it too much fun.

When he saw you're making the similar expression you do before you start lying, he knew you were going for some distraction. You always do that when you realize what you're doing at the moment isn't working so you stop suddenly and do something different. He wasn't going to let you get away with it so he even got closer so you wouldn't run away.

"If you want the bracelet this much. Keep it. Don't want it anymore." You said and really meant it. One day he would give up and probably give it to you anyway.

"Uh-huh..." He hummed and nodded his head like he's buying what you're saying. A little smirk wasn't leaving his face.

"I'm serious."

It was something you said to make your lie believable so even it was for real this time. It didn't work. He thought you're faking it.

"You sure you don't want it? You even bit me for it! "

You remembered what you did and wanted laugh at your action like he does but didn't have the energy and will to do that.

"I give up. " You said even though you hate to admit it.

Brad lifted his eyebrows and opened his wider when his smiling this time. "Yeah, right (!)"

You rolled your eyes. He was right to not to believe you if he's not stupid but you were getting uncomfortable between his body and the wall. You wanted to get out of here.

Word ain't good enough so you wanted make him understand you really are done, with your eyes. So he did focus on your eyes and his' were screaming like "I know what you're doing and it's not gonna work!". He even opened them wider to to make you understand that he's still thinking this is some kind of act. He moved his eyebrows while waiting for your next move.

So you gave him the next move, probably not the one he's expecting. You put your lips on his started kissing him and incase he tries to let go, you put your hands on his cheeks. You didn't know why you did this but you know, somehow, you needed to do this. Probably for a long time.

Of course, you caught him off guard. He didn't know what to do at first so he let you push him. Once your back was off the wall you felt better but then it hit you, what you're up to? Where you going with this? You pushed him to the middle of the room, your legs hit the bed couple of times but all you felt was his lips. And they started moving what felt like a million years ago. Once you realize he was kissing you back, it felt different. You wanted to throw up and scream at the same time. Your heart race went wild and it wasn't because you weren't getting enough air.

You were holding him so strong so he wouldn't run away but when he puts his hands on your cheeks too. You loosened your grip and started actually thinking. You separated your lips from his'. Didn't give yourself and him the time to figure out what you did a little while ago. You grabbed the bracelet from his hand that was on your cheek. It was in the air now and it was empty.

You smiled so big to hide what you really feeling. "Huh, I got it." You said, hoping he wasn't seeing through your eyes and your fake giggle.

When you made the move, he knew it'd end up like this. But he found himself kissing you back even though he knew results would be like this. But he didn't predict that it would make him feel so bad that it was just for a game. It gave him a cold feeling in his neck.

He gave you the same smile you gave him. He nodded slowly and showed his teeth more to make it more real. His eyes stayed closed more than they should but you were so busy getting away from the situation you didn't care.

"Well, yeah. You've earned it." He said still trying to smile and it was much harder than usual. How did they get to this soap opera scene? Why did you feel like kissing him to only to get what you want?

Now you got what you wanted all along and left him wanting more. And he knew he'd never get more.

[saebrfan]

Stephen Amell on a Divided 'Arrow' & What Has Him 'Pumped' for Oliver's Prison Stint

Arrow is back for its seventh season and things are clearly not vigilante-business as usual in Star City. Mainly because orange is the new green for Oliver Queen (Stephen Amell), who has be remanded to Slabside Maximum Security Prison for his Green Arrow antics and the rest of the team has been forced to curtail their own heroics in order to avoid further prosecution.

Obviously, something will have to bring the gang back into action, but it won't be Oliver. According to series star Stephen Amell, the hero who has given The CW an entire universe to play around in, has his hands full behind bars and won't be free to fight crime for a while.

Here, Amell explains what's got him so excited about the season's changes and how new blood behind the scenes has sharpened Arrow's edge.

Ok, you are a few episodes into the season, how's it going?

Stephen Amell: Everything's going great. Everything's going great, it's been a very strange, a very unique start to the season for me.

When I spoke with [showrunner] Beth Schwartz this summer at Comic-Con, she pretty much said that Oliver is not getting out of jail quickly.

Yeah, and so no, he doesn't. It's not like a season of 24 where Jack Bauer is put in prison by the Chinese government but then you realize that they're not gonna keep him in China for like nine episodes. [Laughs] He's gonna show up like 20 minutes into the show! So we've really isolated Oliver in prison and it's been a very interesting dynamic because I haven't been interacting with a ton of the cast.

Does it feel like you're on a different show right now?

It totally feels like I'm on a different show. We've seen in the preview that Oliver interacts with both Diggle (David Ramsey) and Felicity (Emily Bett Rickards) in the premiere, but then I go a stretch of episodes [alone]. In fact it was just last week, I worked with one of the regulars and that was the first time in months. It's been really strange, although there are people in prison that Oliver interacts with where there's some familiarity that we haven't yet seen in the previews.

Does being separated from the cast mess with your head at all?

It's strange. I always worry so much about quality control on the show, just in terms of continuity and making sure that stuff's true to character, so when I'm not around, I have a tough time loosening my grip. But at the same time, one of the things that we're doing a little bit differently this year is, we've had either a producer or writer on set for every episode and that has really empowered them to make a lot of unilateral decisions because that is their episode. And that's been very helpful because I spend a lot of time talking with them and it gives me a lot of confidence that when I'm not there, there's not any sort of dip in quality. Not that I'm the one who's solely capable of keeping up the quality of the show. Far from it! It's just it allows me to relax a little bit because I've had several episodes where, because I'm in prison, we'd block my stuff at the top of the episode. I'm on a stage, because it's prison, and then I've been off for like 10 days

So you're running to Palm Springs every break you get?

[Laughs] We've gone to Hawaii and spent a week in L.A.... I'm mentally preparing for the start of the sort of crossover season and also kind of our prison-centric episode.

OK, you have to be careful how you say this because spoilers and all, so let's just talk about when we come back. Oliver's in jail...

Yeah, we've been five months in prison.

And from everything you've posted on Instagram, it has not been a walk in the park for Oliver.

Well, he's been laying low. And also the name of our season finale was "Life Sentence," so he isn't focusing on getting out on good behavior, but he's passively avoiding conflict and trying to stay out of everybody's way. One of the things I talk with the writers a lot about is that Oliver can break out of prison any time he wants. We've broken into prison, we've broken out of prison, I can't count how many times during the show. [Laughs] So there has to be a reason that he's staying in there and right now, it's the fact that he's done this to keep his friends from being arrested, has the FBI and A.R.G.U.S. looking for Diaz (Kirk Acevedo), and Felicity and William are theoretically safe. But the moment that all three of those things go away, then there's no reason for him to be in there anymore, that wouldn't make sense for the character.

OK, and where is the team at this point?

Felicity is in witness protection. Oliver doesn't know where and Diggle's at A.R.G.U.S. and the rest of the team, they are still in Star City, just not putting hoods and masks on.

So the whole band has broken up.

The whole band is broken up, yeah.

I am assuming that this is gonna have to be, in some way, resolved before the crossover.

[Laughs] That would be a safe assumption, I think. But the one thing that I can tell you is there aren't any breakouts of prison planned, so assuming that Oliver does eventually get out, I'm very, very excited to see how he gets back into society because, again, he's out as the Green Arrow now. People know, everyone knows it. So what does that mean, how is that gonna affect him?

And before all of that, you have all your own story inside of Slabside?

I'm very pumped, I'm very pumped with the work that we've done. I've got a lot of really nice notes from staff that the show feels different, that it looks a lot different. I don't know, there's just something about what we're doing this year. And you could put your thinking cap on and come up with a hundred different ways that the first episode might end and you would never guess it.

Really? Nice.

It's fantastic. I was so pumped when I read it. I think that there's been a lot of new blood in the writer's room and, not to say that things were stale, but it's important to have that happen and I think that a lot of bold moves are being made and a lot of things are being put in the scripts that can never be undone. That's something that I feel like we did a little bit more in our earlier days and then we maybe went a little bit of the safer route in some instances and I've always said if you have a good idea, let's not save it. Another season is promised to nobody. So if you've got a good idea, let's do it.

It's almost like you had to be the safe and responsible show while you were launching all the spinoffs. Now can go back to being risky.

We have no responsibility now! We can just to go and do our own thing and it's been a lot of fun. The only thing is, we've got a lot of new team members on the set and a lot of new cast members that I just haven't had the chance to interact with yet and so it's been very strange and I always like to try and make people feel at home and feel comfortable and see if they need anything. So to have people who are now a part of the family that I've just never seen is strange.

You have so much investment in the show, have you finally decided direct an episode? It's time.

That's a great question. I do have a lot of interest in directing, but I actively do not want to direct Arrow. To that, the answer's no. I really hesitate to say never, but I'm pretty sure never.

Arrow, Season 7 Premiere, Monday, October 15, 8/7c, The CW

[punkscowardschampions]

Grace & Janis

Grace: is that you or has one of the others beat me to your room? Janis: what the hell where you gonna do in my room Grace: just have more getting ready space Janis: yeah, basement lighting is 🔥 Grace: & I don't want them looking better than me duh Grace: whatever are you okay?? Janis: sure Janis: well they won't be if they try and come in here Janis: why wouldn't I be Grace: obvs 🙄 Grace: not gonna send them in now Grace: is your boyfriend?? did his dad freak out? Janis: I'm not telling you so you can tell everyone Grace: um excuse you Grace: I wouldn't Grace: I'm asking cos you said his dad was like Grace: 😱😱😱 Janis: Well he's fine Janis: but he's staying so can you all try not to be so loud Grace: 👌👌👌👌 Janis: how many of them are coming back here Grace: I'll make them go to Mia's Janis: alright Janis: tah Grace: ew don't thank me Grace: are you coming to the party tonight babes? Janis: don't be a dick Janis: yeah Janis: who's is it again Grace: RUDE Grace: Leah's?? is that her name? Grace: 🤔🤔 Grace: oh Asia says her name's Lara Grace: whatever Janis: 😏 Janis: yeah, whatever Janis: are you making dad take you or what Grace: ugh don't remind me so cringe Grace: I think we're gonna order a lift so I don't die of embarrassment Janis: you're way too pissed the feel shame Grace: I AM NOT Grace: but maybe I will ask him cos Mia isn't here Grace: none of the other girls will be THAT RUDE Janis: may as well Janis: he's a pushover Grace: are you coming with? Janis: nah Janis: wouldn't be room anyway would there Grace: not like safely but they've fitted way more of us in than that when we were little OMG Grace: how are you gonna get there? Janis: well we ain't and you ain't sitting on his lap Janis: walk, easiest Grace: 😂😂😂 Grace: you could Grace: OMG no it's like REALLY far Janis: Not really Janis: we'll be fine Grace: you just wanna walk so you can be alone 💕 Grace: sooo cute Janis: it's more about avoiding yous but go off Grace: well that's mean Grace: so glad you don't mean it & are 😍😍 Janis: 😏🖕 whatever you say Grace: OMG don't be horrible to me Janis: Why Janis: that's what I do, yeah Grace: cos Mia's being 😈😈😈 Grace: & I can't even Janis: Quelle suprise Janis: what's new??? Grace: ugh I know okay Grace: she came over today to get her tattoo touched up like that's a sorry NO BITCH Grace: so then all the other girls HAD TO 🙄🙄🙄 obvs Grace: but like?? I didn't want to so Grace: Like excuse you it hurts every time & you're being THE WORST Janis: she wants you to suffer Janis: again, shocker Grace: this date needs to happen even though EWW Grace: thank god he's not gonna be at this party Janis: not slumming it Grace: IKR 🙄🙄 Grace: like this girl doesn't live in a really nice house Grace: & is really pretty Grace: UGH Janis: what a bitch Janis: 🙄 Grace: you're still coming on the date, yeah? Grace: even though barista boy is ex barista now Janis: Weren't in it for the iced coffees Janis: yeah, said I would Grace: what even happened? Grace: you weren't but he was better than that other boy the CG has Janis: 💔 Janis: glad to know news doesn't travel that fast Grace: OMG are you really not gonna tell me??! Janis: so you can be the first to know Janis: oddly enough, no, I ain't Grace: UGH Grace: I hate you Grace: fine 🙄🙄🙄 Janis: exactly Janis: so why would i tell you literally anything Grace: Whatever Grace: I'm over it Janis: 👍 for you babes Grace: hopefully won't see you later, babes Grace: 👌👌👌 Janis: so convincing Janis: well done Grace: thanks Grace: I'd have given it my full attention but getting ready already has it sadly Janis: you need it Janis: I understand Janis: oh wait, no I don't Janis: right Grace: mhmm Janis: 😂 Grace: 🙄 Grace: stop talking to me Janis: why Janis: can't multitask Grace: I just told you no Grace: ugh Janis: 😂 Janis: it's all the hairspray Grace: why do you have to be such a bitch? Grace: your boyfriend is literally there, annoy him Janis: funny Janis: and don't worry 'bout him, I can multitask Grace: 👍 for you babes Grace: sure he loves that about you Janis: amongst other things Janis: no doubt Grace: EW Grace: you don't wanna tell me anything but you HAD to say that Janis: alright now it's not you being OTT you don't wanna know Janis: this is how it is, bitch, stop Grace: I don't wanna hear all your humble brags Grace: excuse me Janis: I ain't tryna be humble so don't worry Grace: obvs Grace: so hush Grace: I'm over giving you this much credit Janis: don't need you to Janis: he's right here, like you said 😘 Grace: I haven't been defending you to him, duh Grace: just everyone else Janis: again, no need Janis: literally do not and have never cared what your mates reckon Grace: again, obvs Janis: not like any of them were there Janis: weirdly Grace: I know Grace: like you said, nobody's talking about that Grace: neither was I Janis: just how much you all hate me as standard Janis: cool Grace: 🙄🙄🙄 Grace: yeah that's why I said I have to defend you 24 7 Grace: sure Grace: go away I'm too busy for your bitchery rn okay Janis: sounds like a you problem not a me Janis: full-time occupation with your own no doubt babes Grace: shut up Grace: sooo annoying Janis: not the one adding extra letters for emphasis here Grace: if you ever listened I wouldn't need to Janis: to what? Janis: you never saying anything Grace: I literally said, leave me alone Grace: ugh Grace: it's not like you wanna talk to me so just don't Janis: and I said no Janis: keep up Grace: um HELLO!? I can't Grace: I have a million other things to do Janis: like what Grace: oh sure I'm gonna waste my time telling you them all Grace: I don't need to give you more things to make fun of me about thanks Janis: something we can agree on Grace: hilarious hun Janis: bit tragic Janis: if we're being honest, hun Grace: well since when are we? Janis: I don't lie Janis: just you Grace: sure Jan Janis: I'd say try me but you'd have to be real for at least as long as it takes to ask a question and you're incapable Grace: why would I want to? Grace: so get over it Janis: why would you wanna be real Janis: no idea Janis: probably 'cos you're shite at this whole act Grace: why would I want to with YOU Grace: I don't so I'm not Janis: Acting like you ain't begged now Janis: 👌 Grace: UM excuse you Grace: I have not Grace: don't flatter yourself babes Grace: 👌 Janis: 😂 Janis: you know your lies don't work here, like Janis: if anywhere Grace: Literally could care less what you think works for me Grace: 🙄🙄🙄 Janis: Oh babes Janis: if you cared anymore you'd implode Grace: 😂😂😂 Grace: you wish, honey Janis: nah Janis: not that bitch Janis: not that bothered Grace: then stop trying to keep a convo going Grace: get a life Janis: 💔 Janis: middle school insults still alive and well Janis: that's cute Grace: Like I've said numerous times, you're not getting my best Janis: Like we all know, this is it Janis: but go off saving it for that someone special Janis: love that for you Grace: oh please Janis: begging ain't gonna help, I told you Grace: if you think that's begging you need the help Janis: if you think you don't reek of desperation, the reality check is long overdue Grace: what I think is none of your business so Janis: you think? Janis: babes! so proud 💕 Grace: literally kill me Janis: would but you know Janis: funerals are expensive Janis: give us another year I reckon Grace: 😂😂😂 Grace: saving cos your got your man fired, love that Grace: v romantic Janis: bitch i ain't paying for you Janis: put you out with the bin if it was down to me Grace: so glad nothing's up to you Janis: so glad you're not my burden Grace: likewise bitch Grace: 💕💕💕 Janis: oh I'm not today? Janis: how nice for you Grace: I meant I'm glad I'm not yours Grace: you're always mine Janis: 😂 Janis: so predictable Janis: any chance to be a whiny lil bitch Grace: so predictable Grace: any chance to be a HUGE bitch for no reason Grace: 🙄 Janis: no reason Janis: i know you looking at it right now in the mirror Grace: I know I've literally done NOTHING to you Grace: except ask how you are, HOW DARE I, like Grace: but sure Janis: Sure Janis: just existing is enough, you know that's how it is so don't play the victim when you set the rules Grace: whatever Grace: I can't do this with you all night if I'm setting rules Grace: fun as it is 💋 Janis: You ain't Grace: typo or?? Grace: cos you literally just said I did babe Janis: you ain't doing it all night Janis: literally no stamina Grace: 😂😂😂 Janis: 🤡 Grace: 💔 Janis: thank god Grace: if you wanna break hearts do your bfs Grace: way easier & more fun Janis: what would you know about that Janis: come on now Grace: obvs nothing Grace: go with that Grace: then I don't have to talk to you Janis: you admitted it Janis: or have you blocked out your changing room trauma Janis: probably owe that poor girl therapy Grace: I said I haven't had a boyfriend, it doesn't mean I haven't ever hurt a lad Grace: like I said, it's easy Grace: you don't even have to mean to Janis: 😂😂😂 Janis: ooh Janis: bad bitch coming thru Janis: where's your mug with the affirmation on so we really buy it Grace: 🙄🙄🙄 Grace: & you wonder why I'm never honest with you Janis: Who's wondering Janis: pointing out fact ain't asking you to Grace: just go away Janis: no Grace: if you're really this bored you need a new boyfriend Janis: if you're really this incapable of ignoring me you need to assess your life Grace: obvs Grace: I'll add to my to-do list Janis: what is actually wrong with you grace Janis: serious Janis: work it out, keep us posted Grace: I've already told you, why should I go into it with you? Grace: you don't care Grace: I don't need to give you the ammunition Janis: nice to put a name to a problem Janis: lay it to rest Janis: don't be selfish Grace: I'm not your problem Grace: make up your own if you're that fussed Janis: sadly untrue Janis: i got theories Janis: not a professional, 'less you're paying but let's help it ain't that dire Grace: 🙄🙄🙄 Grace: Dad said he'd take us so you two can take him up on it if you like Grace: I don't need to Janis: getting the uber black is it Grace: no Grace: can't you hear them leaving? they are loud enough Janis: 🙄🙄🙄 Janis: really Grace: IKR Grace: learn to walk in heels Grace: embarrassing at this point Janis: what are you doing Grace: the same thing I've been trying to do this entire convo Grace: duh Janis: you're not ready Grace: obvs not Grace: some of us take longer than your 10 mins babe Janis: jesus Grace: he's not gonna be v helpful with my hair Grace: his is natural Janis: how is that you're so slow you've pissed off the most annoying girls in the world Janis: sort it out Grace: 😂😂😂 Grace: you think they're ready? so cute Grace: Mia clicked her fingers so they left Grace: she has 💔boy drama💔 she needs to scheme to solve Grace: can't do it alone, she'd have to have an independent thought, duh Janis: ha Janis: even worse Grace: if you say so Janis: you don't? Janis: love having such cunts for friends who'll drop you like a sack of shit, naturally Grace: love being able to concentrate Grace: & hear myself think Grace: & now I don't have to go to the party so Janis: why are you still perming your fucking pubes then Grace: EW Janis: seriously Grace: You are seriously GROSS Janis: grow up Grace: no Grace: See how annoying that is? Janis: you're teaching me? Janis: you started that lesson fresh out the womb don't be acting like this is revolutionary doll Grace: 🙄🙄🙄 Janis: here come the hieroglyphics Grace: I'm ignoring you now Grace: so boring Janis: 💔💔💔 Janis: how will I go on Janis: wonderbread doesn't think I'm interesting Grace: fine by me if you don't Janis: 😱😱😱 Grace: [doesn't reply cos ignoring] Janis: 💀💀💀 Janis: 👻👻👻 Grace: [still doesn't cos actually trying to get ready] Janis: Grace Janis: grace Janis: grace Janis: gracieeeeeeeeee Grace: OMG SHUT UP Janis: 😂 Grace: [goes back to ignoring] Janis: know you're checking these Janis: case it's one of your pals Janis: ain't though Janis: just me Janis: unlucky Grace: [still ignoring cos she is capable sometimes] Janis: 😭😭😭 Grace: [probably is crying knowing her so not gonna answer] Janis: the selfie you'll get gonna be so worth all this effort Janis: so many ❤s Grace: if it was for that, I would, thanks Grace: so supportive Janis: you said you ain't going Janis: no need to 🤡 to mope around your room Grace: I'm not going or moping Grace: not that it's your buisiness Janis: making another video doesn't count Janis: sad times Grace: I'm not doing that either Grace: but there's plenty of cat videos for you to watch, babes Grace: don't be too sad Janis: it's so hard though Janis: you get it Janis: you live with all Janis: that Grace: mhmm Janis: i'm over how mysterious you're tryna be now and my 10 minutes is up Janis: i hope someone cares 💕 Grace: It's not mysterious that it's none of your business what I do Grace: but I'm glad you're finally at my boredom level with this convo Grace: 👋 Janis: loving the convo Janis: you're such a natural you should really like Janis: sit in your room and film yourself talking to yourself Janis: that'd be so sick Janis: only half your comments will be asking when you're getting your tits out like Ri 👌 Grace: 😂😂😂 Grace: leave me one babes I'll be so sure to get back to you Janis: must be so hard Janis: with your 14 followers and a comined IQ of 32 Grace: 🙄🙄🙄 Janis: 💔 Grace: 💋 Janis: you wish Grace: not even Janis: 👌 Janis: God bless Grace: bye Janis: no Grace: awh you gonna talk to me all through the party? Grace: so cute Janis: ikr Janis: i'm adorable Grace: tell it to your boyfriend Grace: see if you can't make him believe it Janis: you know all your putdowns only work if you're deeply insecure? Janis: again, more of a you problem Janis: 😬 awkies Grace: it's not a putdown Grace: genuinely hoping you two go the distance Grace: I already said so Janis: 😂 Janis: ew Grace: 💕💕💕 Grace: hopefully you'll get stronger words from Mia when she finds you at the party Grace: she's really 💔 over that boy if not Janis: gotta have one to break it, kid Grace: a fake one works well enough for her purposes Grace: & it's fake 💔 Janis: you always chat as if everyone doesn't know Janis: you're the only ones tonguing her hole, love Grace: ew Grace: & you wish obvs Janis: wow Janis: back at it with the gay jokes Janis: hit all 3, well done Grace: excuse you for wanting me to be in love with her or something Janis: you are Janis: and it's like Janis: well Janis: casual battered wife, want me to get you a place in a hostel Grace: I told you, girls don't do it for me, sorry to burst that bubble for you Grace: nobody's more devastated than me, trust Janis: no shit Janis: no self-respecting dyke is touching your shit with a bargepole Janis: your issues make the boys uncomfortable imagine someone capable of empathy, christ Grace: 💔 Janis: you mentioned Janis: the nation mourns, kid Grace: sure Janis: toodle-oo Grace: 👋

[crosseyed-miles]

                     The Breakfast Club                    written and directed by                         John Hughes BLANK SCREEN:     Against Black, TITLE CARD:           "...and these children that you spit on,            as they try to change their worlds are           immune to your consultations.  They're         quite aware of what they're going through...                                        - David Bowie"     The Blank Screen and Title Card SHATTER to reveal... 1. EXT. SHERMER HIGH SCHOOL - DAY     During Brian's monologue, we see various views of things     inside the school including Bender's locker.                          BRIAN (VO)               Saturday...March 24, 1984.  Shermer               High School, Shermer, Illinois.               60062.  Dear Mr. Vernon...we accept               the fact that we had to sacrifice a               whole Saturday in detention for               whatever it was that we did wrong,               what we did was wrong.  But we think               you're crazy to make us write this               essay telling you who we think we               are, what do you care?  You see us               as you want to see us...in the               simplest terms and the most               convenient definitions.  You see us               as a brain, an athelete, a basket               case, a princess and a criminal.               Correct?  That's the way we saw each               other at seven o'clock this morning.               We were brainwashed...                                                  CUT TO: 2. INT. CLAIRE'S CAR - DAY     We see CLAIRE and her FATHER sitting in their car in the     parking lot.     Claire is the prom queen and is clearly a snob.                            CLAIRE               I can't believe you can't get me               out of this...I mean it's so absurd               I have to be here on a Saturday!               It's not like I'm a defective or               anything...                       CLAIRE'S FATHER               I'll make it up to you...Honey,               ditching class to go shopping               doesn't make you a defective.  Have               a good day.     Claire rolls her eyes and gets out of the car and walks     up the school front steps                                                  CUT TO: 3. INT. BRIAN'S CAR - DAY     We are in BRIAN's car.  His MOTHER is there and so is     his little SISTER.  He is sort of a nerd.                        BRIAN'S MOTHER               Is this the first time or the last               time we do this?                            BRIAN                    (upset)               Last...                        BRIAN'S MOTHER               Well get in there and use the time               to your advantage...                            BRIAN               Mom, we're not supposed to study; we               just have to sit there and do               nothing.                        BRIAN'S MOTHER               Well mister you figure out a way to               study.                    BRIAN'S LITTLE SISTER                    (annoyingly)               Yeah!                        BRIAN'S MOTHER               Well go!     Brian gets out of the car and walks towards the school.                                                  CUT TO: 4. INT. ANDREW'S CAR - DAY     We see ANDREW and his FATHER.  Andrew is clearly a jock;     he’s wearing a letterman’s jacket with lots of patches on it.                       ANDREW'S FATHER               Hey, I screwed around...guys screw               around, there's nothing wrong with               that.  Except you got caught, Sport.                            ANDREW               Yeah, Mom already reemed me, alright?                       ANDREW'S FATHER                    (angry)               You wanna miss a match?  You wanna               blow your ride?  Now no school's               gonna give a scholarship to a               discipline case.     Andrew gets out of the car and walks into the school.                                                  CUT TO: 5. EXT. SHERMER PARKING LOT - DAY     We see JOHN BENDER walking towards us.  He is wearing     sunglasses.  A car is coming towards him but he doesn't     stop walking.     The car slams on its breaks directly in front of him.     Bender gets out of the frame.  Out of the car steps     ALLISON.  She is dressed all in black.  She steps     forward to look in the car's front window and the car     drives away.                                                 CUT TO: 6. INT. LIBRARY - DAY     There are six tables in two rows of three.     Claire is sitting at the front table.  Brian comes in     and sits at the table behind her.     Andrew comes in and points at the chair next to Claire     at the front table.  She shrugs and he sits there.     In walks Bender, he touches everything on the checkout     desk and takes a few things in the process.     He walks over to where Brian is sitting and points to     the table on the opposite side of the Library.  Brian     reluctantly gets up and moves.     Bender sits at the table where Brian was and puts his     feet up.     Allison walks in.  She walks all the way around the     library and sits in the back corner table, just behind     Brian.     Andrew and Claire look at each other and snicker.     Brian looks at her in confusion and then turns away.     Enter RICHARD VERNON, a teacher.  He holds a stack     of papers in his left hand.  He addresses the group with     such disrespect it makes you wonder how he ever got the     job.                            VERNON               Well...well.  Here we are!  I want               to congradulate you for being on               time...     Claire raises her hand.                            CLAIRE               Excuse me, sir?  I think there's               been a mistake.  I know it's               detention, but...um...I don't think               I belong in here...     Vernon doesn't care.  He just continues to talk.                            VERNON               It is now seven-oh-six.  You have               exactly eight hours and fifty-four               minutes to think about why you're               here.  To ponder the error of your               ways...     Bender spits into the air and catches the spit in his     mouth again.     Claire looks like she is going to gag.                            VERNON               ...and you may not talk.  You will               not move from these seats.     He glances up at Bender and points at him.                            VERNON               ...and you...     Vernon pulls the chair out from under Bender's feet.                            VERNON               ...will not sleep.  Alright people,               we're gonna try something a little               different today.  We are going to               write an essay--of no less than a               thousand words--describing to me               who you think you are.                            BENDER               Is this a test?     Vernon passes out paper and pencils and takes no notice     of Bender.                            VERNON               And when I say essay...I mean essay.               I do not mean a single word repeated               a thousand times.  Is that clear Mr.               Bender?     Bender looks up.                            BENDER               Crystal...                            VERNON               Good.  Maybe you'll learn a little               something about yourself.  Maybe               you'll even--decide whether or not               you care to return.     Brian raises his hand and then stands.                            BRIAN               You know, I can answer that right               now sir...That'd be "No", no for me.               'cause...                            VERNON               Sit down Johnson...                            BRIAN               Thank you sir...     He sits.                            VERNON               My office...     Vernon points.                            VERNON               ...is right across that hall.  Any               monkey business is ill-advised...     He looks around at them.                            VERNON               ...any questions?                            BENDER               Yeah...I got a question.     Vernon looks at him suspiciously.                            BENDER               Does Barry Manilow know you raid his               wardrobe?                            VERNON               I'll give you the answer to that               question, Mr. Bender, next Saturday.               Don't mess with the bull young man,               you'll get the horns.     Vernon leaves.                            BENDER               That man...is a brownie hound...     Everyone tries to get comfortable and we hear a loud     snapping sound.  Brian turns and looks and it is     Allison, biting her nails.     Bender's eyes widen as he turns to look.  Everyone is     looking now.  Allison notices them looking at her.                            BENDER               You keep eating your hand and you're               not gonna be hungry for lunch...     Allison spits part of her nail at Bender.                            BENDER               I've seen you before, you know...     We see Vernon look out from his office.     We see Brian playing with his pen.                            BRIAN                    (quietly to himself)               Who do I think I am?  Who are you?               Who are you?     He attaches the pen to his bottom lip and puts the top     under his upper lip.                            BRIAN               I am a walrus...     Bender looks at him in utter confusion.  Brian notices     this, laughs and takes the pen out of his mouth--     embarrassed.     Bender and Brian begin to take their jackets off at the     same time.  They both notice this.  Brian stops removing     his jacket.     Bender takes his all the way off.  Brian rubs his hands     together and pretends to be cold.  He pulls his jacket     back on.  He turns and looks at Bender who is still     staring at him.                            BRIAN               It's the shits, huh?     Bender glares at him and Brian utters an uncomfortable     laugh.     Bender turns away and crumples up his essay paper.  He     throws it at Claire.  It misses and goes over Claire's     head.     Andrew and Claire acknowlege it but continue to ignore     Bender.     Bender starts loudly "singing" the musical part of a     song.  “Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah...nah, nah, nah...”                            CLAIRE                    (to herself)               I can't believe this is really               happening to me...     Bender stops "singing" abruptly.                            BENDER               Oh, shit!  What're we s'posed to do               if we hafta take a piss?                            CLAIRE                    (disgusted)               Please...                            BENDER               If you gotta go...     We hear Bender unzip his fly.                            BENDER               You gotta go!     Everyone is now looking at Bender.                            CLAIRE                   (disgusted)               Oh my God!                            ANDREW               Hey, yer not urinating in here man!                            BENDER               Don't talk!  Don't talk!  It makes               it crawl back up!                            ANDREW               You whip it out and you're dead               before the first drop hits the               floor!     Bender gasps mockingly.                            BENDER               You're pretty sexy when you get               angry...grrr!     He turns to Brian.                            BENDER               Hey, homeboy...     Brian points at himself with his pen.                            BENDER              ...why don't you go close that door.               We'll get the prom queen--               impregnated!     Claire turns and glares at him.                            ANDREW               Hey!     Bender ignores him.                            ANDREW               Hey!                          BENDER               What?                            ANDREW               If I lose my temper, you're totalled               man!                            BENDER               Totally?                            ANDREW               Totally!                            CLAIRE                    (to Bender)               Why don't you just shut up!  Nobody               here is interested!                            ANDREW               Really!                    (to Claire about Bender)               Buttface!                            BENDER               Well hey Sporto!  What'd you do to               get in here?  Forget to wash your               jock?                            BRIAN                    (nervous)               Uh, excuse me, fellas?  I think we               should just write our papers...                            ANDREW                    (to Bender)               Look, just because you live in here               doesn't give you the right to be a               pain in the ass...so knock it off!     Bender mockingly registers pain in his face.                            BENDER               It's a free country...                            CLAIRE                    (to Andrew)               He's just doing it to get a rise out               of you!  Just ignore him...                            BENDER                    (to Claire)               Sweets...you couldn't ignore me if               you tried!     Claire rolls her eyes.                           BENDER               So...so!                    (to Andrew and Claire)               Are you guys like boyfriend/girl-               friend?                    (a beat)               Steady dates?                    (another beat)               Lo--vers?                    (another beat)               Come on Sporto, level with me.  Do               you slip her the hot...beef...               injection?     Claire and Andrew turn to face Bender, both furious.                            CLAIRE                    (screams)               Go to hell!                            ANDREW                    (screams)               Enough!                                                  CUT TO: 7. INT. VERNON'S OFFICE - DAY     We see Vernon in his office.                            VERNON                    (yells)               Hey!  What's going on in there?                    (to himself)               Smug little pricks!                                                  CUT TO: 8. INT. LIBRARY - DAY     They all look at each other.  Andrew turns away from     Bender.                            ANDREW                    (to himself)               Scumbag!     Bender stands up and walks over to the railing.  He sits     on it.                            BENDER               What do you say we close that door.               We can't have any kind of party               with Vernon checking us out every               few seconds.                            BRIAN               Well, you know the door's s'posed to               stay open...                           BENDER               So what?                           ANDREW               So why don't you just shut up!               There's four other people in here               you know...                            BENDER               God, you can count.  See!  I knew               you had to be smart to be a...a               wrestler.                            ANDREW               Who the hell are you to judge               anybody anyway?                            CLAIRE               Really...                            ANDREW               You know, Bender...you don't even               count.  I mean if you disappeared               forever it wouldn't make any               difference.  You may as well not               even exist at this school.     Bender probably is upset at this and he pauses a moment     before speaking.  He doesn't let his emotions out,     however.                            BENDER               Well...I'll just run right out and               join the wrestling team.     Andrew and Claire look at each other and laugh at     Bender.                            BENDER                    (to Claire)               Maybe the prep club too!  Student               council...                            ANDREW               No, they wouldn't take you.                            BENDER               I'm hurt.                            CLAIRE               You know why guys like you knock               everything...                            BENDER                    (to himself)               Oh, this should be stunning...                            CLAIRE               It's 'cause you're afraid.                            BENDER                    (with mock enthusiasm)               Oh, God!  You ritchies are so smart,               that's exactly why I'm not heavy in               activities!                            CLAIRE               You're a big coward!     Brian feels left out.                            BRIAN                    (to no one imparticular)               I'm in the math club...                            CLAIRE               See you're afraid that they won't               take you.  You don't belong so you               just have to dump all over it...                            BENDER               Well...it wouldn't have anything to               do with you activities people being               assholes...now would it?                            CLAIRE               Well you wouldn't know...You don't               even know any of us.                            BENDER               Well, I don't know any lepers               either, but I'm not gonna run out               and join one of their fucking clubs.                            ANDREW               Hey let's watch the mouth, huh?     Brian again feels he needs to contribute.                            BRIAN               I'm in the physics club too...                            BENDER                    (to Claire)               S'cuse me a sec...                    (to Brian)               What are you babbling about?                            BRIAN               Well, what I said was...I'm in the               math club, the Latin club and the               physics club...physics club.     Bender nods and turns to Claire.                            BENDER               Hey...Cherry...do you belong to the               physics club?                            CLAIRE               That's an academic club...                            BENDER               So?                            CLAIRE               So...academic clubs aren't the same               as other kinds of clubs.                            BENDER               Oh, but to dorks like him...     Bender points at Brian.                            BENDER               ...they are.                    (to Brian)               What do you guys do in your club?                            BRIAN               In physics, um, we ah, we talk about               physics...about properties of physics.                            BENDER               So it's sorta social...demented and               sad, but social.  Right?                            BRIAN               Yeah, well, I guess you could               consider it a social situation.  I               mean there are other children in my               club and uh, at the end of the year               we have, um, you know, a big               banquet, at the, uh, at the Hilton.                            BENDER               You load up, you party...                            BRIAN               Well, no, we get dressed up...I               mean, but, we don't...we don't get               high.                            CLAIRE                    (to Bender)               Only burners like you get high...                            BRIAN               And, uh, I didn't have any shoes.               So I had to borrow my dad's.  It               was kinda weird 'cause my mom doesn't               like me to wear other people's               shoes.  And, uh, my cousin Kent...my               cousin Kendall from, uh, Indiana...               He got high once and you know, he               started eating like really weird               foods.  And uh, and then he just               felt like he didn't belong anywhere.               You know, kinda like, you know               "Twilight Zone" kinda.                            CLAIRE                    (laughs)                    (to Bender)               Sounds like you...                            ANDREW               Look, you guys keep up your talking               and Vernon's gonna come right in               here...I got a meet this Saturday               and I'm not gonna miss it on account               of you boneheads...                            BENDER                    (to Andrew)               Oh and wouldn't that be a bite...     Bender lets out a moan of fake agony.                            BENDER               Missing a whole wrestling meet!                            ANDREW               Well you wouldn't know anything               about it, faggot!  You never competed               in your whole life!                            BENDER                    (with mock hurt)               Oh, I know...I feel all empty inside               because of it.  I have such a deep               admiration for guys that roll around               on the floor with other guys!                            ANDREW               Ahhh...you'd never miss it.  You               don't have any goals.                            BENDER               Oh, but I do!                            ANDREW               Yeah?                            BENDER               I wanna be just--like--you!  I               figure all I need's a labotamy and               some tights!     Brian becomes interested.                            BRIAN               You wear tights?                            ANDREW                    (to Brian)               No I don't wear tights, I wear the               required uniform...                            BRIAN               Tights...                            ANDREW                    (defensive)               Shut up!     They hear Vernon moving around out in the hall so Bender     quickly comes and sits in the chair between Claire and     Andrew.  He folds his hands on the table.     Vernon goes back into his office.  Bender laughs and     gets up.  He starts walking towards the double doors     that separate the library from the hallway.                            BRIAN               You know there's not s'posed to be               any monkey business!     Bender turns and points at Brian.                            BENDER                    (in a stern voice)               Young man...have you finished your               paper?     Bender turns back away and goes to the door.  He looks     around cautiously and removes a screw from the door.                            CLAIRE               What are you gonna do?                            ANDREW               Drop dead, I hope!                                                  CUT TO: 9. INT. HALLWAY - DAY     We see Vernon getting a drink at the fountain. He stands     up and checks the way he looks in a mirror.  He does a     muscular pose and utters some manly jibberish “Cobadonga!”                                                  CUT TO: 10. INT. LIBRARY - DAY     Brian looks up.  Bender is messing with the door to the     library.                            BRIAN               Bender, that's, that's school               property there...you know, it doesn't               belong to us.  It's something not to               be toyed with.     The door slams shut.  Bender runs back to his seat.                            ANDREW               That's very funny, come on, fix it!                            BRIAN               You should really fix that!                            BENDER               Am I a genius?                            ANDREW               No, you're an asshole!                            BENDER               What a funny guy!                            ANDREW               Fix the door Bender!                            BENDER               Everyone just shhh!                                                  CUT TO: 11. INT. HALLWAY - DAY     We see Vernon walking back to his office.  He stops and     listens to them through the closed door.                         BENDER (OS)               I've been here before, I know what               I'm doing!                         ANDREW (OS)               No!  Fix the door, get up there and               fix it!                         BENDER (OS)                    (screams)               Shut up!                                                  CUT TO: 12. INT. LIBRARY - DAY     We see Brian as we hear Vernon in the hall.                         VERNON (OS)               God damnit!     He opens the door and storms in.                            VERNON               Why is that door closed?     For a few seconds no one says anything, they just stare     at Vernon.                            VERNON               Why is that door closed?                            BENDER               How're we s'posed to know?  We're               not s'posed to move, right?     Vernon turns to Claire.                            VERNON               Why?                            CLAIRE               We were just sitting here, like we               were s'posed to...     Vernon looks around and looks at Bender.                            VERNON               Who closed that door?                            BENDER               I think a screw fell out of it...                            ANDREW               It just closed, sir...     Vernon looks at Allison in the back.                            VERNON               Who?     Allison lets out a squeak and slams her face onto the     table, hiding in her jacket hood.                            BENDER               She doesn't talk, sir...                            VERNON                    (to Bender)               Give me that screw...                            BENDER              I don't have it...                            VERNON               You want me to yank you outta that               seat and shake it out of you?                            BENDER               I don't have it...screws fall out               all of the time, the world's an               imperfect place...                            VERNON               Give it to me, Bender...                            CLAIRE               Excuse me, sir, why would anybody               want to steal a screw?                            VERNON                    (to Claire)               Watch it, young lady...     Vernon goes over to the door.  He tries to hold it open     by putting a folding chair in front of it.                            BENDER               The door's way too heavy, sir.     The door slams shut despite the chair.                         VERNON (OS)               God damnit!     They laugh.     Vernon opens the door again.  He comes back in.                            VERNON                    (pointing)               Andrew Clark...get up here.  Come on,               front and center, let's go.     Andrew gets up and walks over to Vernon.                            BENDER               Hey, how come Andrew gets to get up?               If he gets up, we'll all get up,               it'll be anarchy!     Vernon and Andrew are now attempting to move the steel     magazine rack in front of the door.                            VERNON              Okay, now, watch the magazines!                            BENDER               It's out of my hands...     They get it into the doorway and it blocks the entire     door.                            BENDER               That's very clever sir, but what if               there's a fire?  I think violating               fire codes and endangering the               lives of children would be unwise               at this juncture in your career, sir.     Vernon thinks about it.  He turns to Andrew.                            VERNON               Alright, what are you doing with               this?  Get this outta here for God's               sake!  What's the matter with you?               Come on!                            BRIAN               You know the school comes equipped               with fire exits at either end of the               library.     Brian points at them and Bender glares at him.                            BENDER                    (to Brian)               Show Dick some respect!     Andrew and Vernon come back into the main section of     the library.                            VERNON                    (to Andrew)               Let's go...go!  Get back into your               seat.     Andrew sits.                            VERNON                    (to Andrew)               I expected a little more from a               varsity letterman!                    (to Bender)               You're not fooling anybody, Bender!               The next screw that falls out is               gonna be you!     Vernon turns to leave.                            BENDER                    (under his breath)               Eat my shorts...     Vernon spins in his tracks and faces Bender again.                            VERNON               What was that?                            BENDER                    (loudly)               Eat my shorts!                            VERNON               You just bought yourself another               Saturday, mister!                            BENDER               Oh, Christ...                            VERNON               You just bought one more right               there!                            BENDER               Well, I'm free the Saturday after               that...beyond that, I'm gonna have               to check my calendar!                            VERNON               Good!  'Cause it's gonna be filled,               we'll keep goin'!  You want another               one?  Say the word, just say the               word!  Instead of going to prison,               you'll come here!  Are you through.                            BENDER               No!                            VERNON               I'm doing society a favor!                            BENDER               So?                            VERNON               That's another one, right now!  I've               got you for the rest of your natural               born life if you don't watch your               step!  You want another one?                            BENDER               Yes!                            VERNON               You got it!  You got another one,               right there!  That's another one               pal!                            CLAIRE                    (worried)               Cut it out!     Claire mouths the word "Stop" to Bender.                            VERNON               You through?                            BENDER               Not even close, bud!                            VERNON               Good!  You got one more, right               there!                            BENDER               Do you really think I give a shit?                            VERNON               Another...     Bender glares at him.                            VERNON               You through?                            BENDER               How many is that?                            BRIAN               That's seven including the one when               we first came in and you asked Mr.               Vernon here whether Barry Manilow               knew that he raided his closet.                            VERNON                    (to Bender)               Now it's eight...                    (to Brian)               You stay out of it!                            BRIAN               Excuse me, sir, it's seven!                            VERNON               Shut up, Peewee!                    (to Bender)               You're mine Bender...for two months               I gotcha!  I gotcha!                            BENDER               What can I say?  I'm thrilled!                            VERNON               Oh, I'm sure that's exactly what you               want these people to believe.  You               know something, Bender?  You ought               to spend a little more time trying               to do something with yourself and a               little less time trying to impress               people.  You might be better off.                    (to everyone)               Alright, that's it!  I'm going to               be right outside those doors.  The               next time I hafta come in here...I'm               cracking skulls!  (Bender mouths “I’m               cracking skulls”)     Vernon leaves and closes the door.  A musical riff     builds to a climax as Bender screams.                            BENDER                    (screams)               Fuck you!     We see the clock, it reads a quarter to eight.     We see Bender, lighting his shoe on fire and lighting a     cigarette with his shoe.     We see Claire thinking.     We see Brian playing with his balls.     We see Andrew playing with his sweatshirt.     We see Allison pulling a string around her finger and     making it turn purple.     We see Bender put the flames on his shoe out.  He then     plays air guitar.     We see Allison drawing.     We see Andrew playing paper football.  He cheers     silently.     Allison shakes dandruff from her hair onto her picture.     We see everyone fall asleep.                                                  CUT TO: 13. INT. LIBRARY - DAY     Later.     Vernon is standing there staring at the sleeping kids.                            VERNON               Wake up!  Who has to go to the               lavatory?     Everyone raises their hands.                                                  CUT TO: 14. INT. LIBRARY - DAY     Later.     We see the clock, it now says 10:22.     We see Andrew stretching.  We see Bender tearing pages     out of a book.  He is tossing them around.                            ANDREW               That's real intelligent.                            BENDER               You're right...it's wrong to               destroy literature...     He continues to tear pages out.                            BENDER               It's such fun to read...and, Molet               really pumps my nads!                            CLAIRE                    (pronouncing it correctly)               Mol-yare.                            BRIAN              I love his work.     Bender tosses the rest of the pages at Brian.  He picks     up the card catalogue drawer and begins to take cards     out.                            BENDER               Big deal...nothing to do when you're               locked in a vacancy..                           ANDREW               Speak for yourself...                            BENDER               Do you think I'd speak for you?  I               don't even know your language!     Andrew turns to Claire.                            ANDREW               Hey, you grounded tonight?     Claire shrugs.                            CLAIRE               I don't know, my mom said I was but               by dad told me to just blow her off.                            ANDREW               Big party at Stubbies, parents are               in Europe.  Should be pretty wild...                            CLAIRE               Yeah?                            ANDREW               Yeah, can you go?                            CLAIRE               I doubt it...                            ANDREW               How come?                            CLAIRE               Well 'cause if I do what my mother               tells me not to do, it's because               because my father says it's okay.               There's like this whole big monster               deal, it's endless and it's a total               drag.  It's like any minute...               divorce...                            BENDER               Who do you like better?                            CLAIRE               What?                            BENDER               You like your old man better than               your mom?                            CLAIRE               They're both strict.                            BENDER               No, I mean, if you had to choose               between them.                            CLAIRE               I dunno, I'd probably go live with               my brother.  I mean, I don't think               either one of them gives a shit               about me...it's like they use me               just to get back at each other.     Suddenly, from the back of the room.  Allison speaks.                           ALLISON                    (loudly)               Ha!!!     Everyone looks at her shocked.  Allison blows her hair     out of her eyes and grins.                            CLAIRE               Shut up!                            ANDREW               You're just feeling sorry for         ��     yourself...                            CLAIRE               Yeah, well if I didn't nobody else               would.                            ANDREW               Aw...you're breaking my heart...                            BENDER               Sporto...                            ANDREW               What?     Bender jumps down and goes next to Andrew.                            BENDER               You get along with your parents?                            ANDREW               Well if I say yes, I'm an idiot,               right?                            BENDER               You're an idiot anyway...But if you               say you get along with your parents               well you're a liar too!     Bender turns and walks away from him.  Andrew follows     and pushes Bender.                            ANDREW               You know something, man...If we               weren't in school right now, I'd               waste you!     Bender points his middle finger at the floor.                            BENDER               Can you hear this?  Want me to turn               it up?     Bender flips his hand around so he is now giving Andrew     the bird.     Brian comes over and puts a hand on each of the guy's     shoulders.                            BRIAN               Hey fellas, I mean...     Andrew pushes away from Brian.                            BRIAN               ...I don't like my parents either,               I don't...I don't get along with               them...their idea of parental               compassion is just, you know, wacko!     Bender turns to Brian.                            BENDER               Dork...                            BRIAN              Yeah?                            BENDER               You are a parent's wet dream, okay?     Bender starts to walk away.                            BRIAN               Well that's a problem!                            BENDER               Look, I can see you getting all               bunged up for them making you wear               these kinda clothes.  But face it,               you're a Neo-Maxi-Zoom-Dweebie!               What would you be doing if you               weren't out making yourself a better               citizen?                            ANDREW               Why do you have to insult everybody?                            BENDER               I'm being honest, asshole!  I would               expect you...to know the difference!                            ANDREW               Yeah well, he's gotta name!                            BENDER               Yeah?                            ANDREW               Yeah,                    (to Brian)               What's your name?                            BRIAN               Brian...                            ANDREW               See...                            BENDER                    (to Brian)               My condolences...     Bender walks away.                            CLAIRE                    (to Bender)               What's your name?                            BENDER               What's yours?                            CLAIRE               Claire...                            BENDER               Ka-Laire?                            CLAIRE               Claire...it's a family name!                            BENDER               Nooo...It's a fat girl's name!                            CLAIRE               Well thank you...                            BENDER               You're welcome...                            CLAIRE               I'm not fat!                            BENDER               Well not at present but I could see               you really pushing maximum density!               You see, I'm not sure if you know               this...but there are two kinds of               fat people.  There's fat people that               were born to be fat, and then there's               fat people that were once thin but               they became fat...so when you look               at them you can sorta see that thin               person inside!  You see, you're               gonna get married, you're gonna               squeeze out a few puppies and then,               uh...     He mimes becoming fat, making noises.     Claire gives him the finger.                            BENDER               Oh...obscene finger gestures from               such a pristine girl!                            CLAIRE                    (resentfully)               I'm not that pristine!     Bender bends down closer to Claire.                            BENDER               Are you a virgin?                    (a beat)               I'll bet you a million dollars that               you are!  Let's end the suspense!               Is it gonna be...                    (another beat)               ...a white weddin?                            CLAIRE               Why don't you just shut up?                            BENDER               Have you ever kissed a boy on the               mouth?                    (a beat)               Have you ever been felt up?  Over               the bra, under the blouse, shoes               off...hoping to God your parents               don't walk in?     Claire is getting upset.                            CLAIRE               Do you want me to puke?                            BENDER               Over the panties, no bra, blouse               unbuttoned, Calvin's in a ball on               the front seat past eleven on a               school night?                            ANDREW               Leave her alone!     Bender slowly stands and faces Andrew.                            ANDREW               I said leave her alone!                            BENDER               You gonna make me?                            ANDREW               Yeah...     Bender walks over to where Andrew is standing.                            BENDER               You and how many of your friends?                            ANDREW               Just me, just you and me.  Two hits.               Me hitting you, you hitting the               floor!  Anytime you're ready, pal!     Bender goes to hit him but Andrew gets Bender down on     the ground with a wrestling move.                            BENDER               I don't wanna get into to this with               you man...     Andrew gets up.                            ANDREW               Why not?     Bender gets up.                            BENDER               'Cause I'd kill you...It's real simple.               I'd kill you and your fucking parents               would sue me and it would be a big               mess and I don't care enough about               you to bother.                            ANDREW               Chicken shit...     Andrew turns and walks away.  Bender takes out a     switchblade and opens it.     He stabs the switchblade into a chair.                            ANDREW               Let's end this right now.  You don't               talk to her...you don't look at her               and you don't even think about her!               You understand me?                            BENDER               I'm trying to help her!.     We see the janitor, CARL come into the room.                             CARL               Brian, how you doing?                            BENDER               Your dad works here?     Brian is embarrassed.                            BENDER               Uh, Carl?                             CARL               What?                            BENDER               Can I ask you a question?                             CARL               Sure...                            BENDER               How does one become a janitor?                             CARL               You wanna be a janitor?                            BENDER               No I just wanna know how one becomes               a janitor because Andrew here, is               very interested in persuing a               career in the custodial arts...                             CARL               Oh, really?  You guys think I'm               just some untouchable peasant?  Peon?               Huh?  Maybe so, but following               a broom around after shitheads like               you for the past eight years I've               learned a couple of things...I look               through your letters, I look through               your lockers...I listen to your               conversations, you don't know that               but I do...I am the eyes and ears of               this institution my friends.  By the               way, that clock's twenty minutes               fast!     Everyone groans.  Bender smiles.                            ANDREW               Shit!                                                  CUT TO: 15. INT. VERNON'S OFFICE - DAY     The clock says 11:30.  Vernon gets up and leaves.                                                  CUT TO: 16. INT. LIBRARY - DAY     Bender starts to whistle a marching tune and everybody     joins in.     Vernon enters.  Bender begins to whistle Beethoven's     5th.                            VERNON               Allright girls, that's thirty               minutes for lunch...                            ANDREW               Here?                            VERNON               Here...                            ANDREW               Well I think the cafeteria would be               a more suitable place for us to eat               lunch in, sir!                            VERNON               Well, I don't care what you think,               Andrew!                            BENDER               Uh, Dick?  Excuse me, Rich...will               milk be made available to us?                            ANDREW               We're extremely thirsty sir...                            CLAIRE               I have a very low tolerance for               dehydration.                            ANDREW               I've seen her dehydrate sir, it's               pretty gross.     Bender stands.                            BENDER               Relax, I'll get it!                            VERNON               Ah, ah, ah grab some wood there, bub!     Bender grins.                            VERNON               What do you think, I was born               yesterday?  You think I'm gonna               have you roaming these halls?     He points at Andrew.                            VERNON               You!     He points at Allison.                            VERNON               And you!  Hey!  What's her name?               Wake her!  Wake her up!                    (to Allison)               Come on, on your feet missy!  Let's               go!  This is no rest home!     Allison gets up.                            VERNON               There's a soft drink machine in the               teacher's lounge.  Lets go!                                                  CUT TO: 16. INT. HALLWAY - DAY     Andrew and Allison are walking in the hall.                            ANDREW               So, what's your poison?     Allison doesn't answer.                            ANDREW               What do you drink?     Allison still doesn't answer.                            ANDREW               Okay...forget I asked...     Allison waits for two beats and then speaks.                           ALLISON               Vodka...                            ANDREW               Vodka?  When do you drink vodka?                           ALLISON               Whenever...                            ANDREW              A lot?     Allison smiles.                           ALLISON               Tons...                            ANDREW               Is that why you're here today?     Allison doesn't answer.                            ANDREW               Why are you here?     Allison snaps back.                           ALLISON               Why are you here?     They stop walking and Andrew leans against the wall.                            ANDREW               Um, I'm here today...because uh,               because my coach and my father don't               want me to blow my ride.  See I get               treated differently because uh,               Coach thinks I'm a winner.  So does               my old man.  I'm not a winner               because I wanna be one... I'm a               winner because I got strength and               speed.  Kinda like a race horse.               That's about how involved I am in               what's happening to me.                           ALLISON               Yeah?  That's very interesting.               Now why don't you tell me why you're               really in here.                            ANDREW               Forget it!                                                  CUT TO: 17. INT. LIBRARY - DAY     Claire and Bender and Brian are all sitting around     waiting for the Cokes.                            BENDER               Claire...you wanna see a picture of               a guy with elephantitus of the nuts?               It's pretty tasty...                            CLAIRE               No thank you...                            BENDER               How do you think he rides a bike?     Claire rolls her eyes and turns away in disgust.                            BENDER               Oh, Claire...would you ever consider               dating a guy like this?                            CLAIRE               Can't you just leave me alone?                            BENDER               I mean if he had a great personality               and was a good dancer and had a cool               car...Although you'd probably have               to ride in the back seat 'cause his               nuts would ride shotgun.                            CLAIRE               You know what I wish I was doing?                            BENDER               Op, watch what you say, Brian here               is a cherry.                            BRIAN               A cherry?                            CLAIRE               I wish I was on a plane to France.                            BRIAN               I'm not a cherry.                            BENDER                    (to Brian)               When have you ever gotten laid?                            BRIAN               I've laid, lotsa times!                            BENDER               Name one!                            BRIAN               She lives in Canada, met her at               Niagra Falls.  You wouldn't know               her.                            BENDER               Ever laid anyone around here.     Brian shushes Bender and points at Claire whos back is     still turned.                            BRIAN                    Oh, you and Claire, did it!     Claire spins around.                            CLAIRE              What are you talking about?                            BRIAN                    (to Claire)               Nothin', nothin!                    (to Bender)               Let's just drop it, we'll talk about               it later!                            CLAIRE               No!  Drop what, what're you talking               about?                            BENDER               Well, Brian's trying to tell me that               in addition to the number of girls               in the Niagra Falls area, that               presently you and he are, riding               the hobby horse!                            CLAIRE                    (to Brian)               Little pig!                            BRIAN               No I'm not!  I'm not!  John said I               was a cherry and I said I wasn't,               that's it, that's all that was said!                            BENDER               Well then what were you motioning to               Claire for?                            CLAIRE               You know I don't appreciate this               very much, Brian.                            BRIAN               He is lying!                            BENDER               Oh you weren't motioning to Claire?                            BRIAN               You know he's lying, right?                            BENDER               Were you or were you not motioning               to Claire?                            BRIAN               Yeah, but it was only...was only               because I didn't want her to know               that I was a virgin, okay?     Bender just stares at him.                            BRIAN               Excuse me for being a virgin, I'm               sorry...     Claire laughs.                            CLAIRE               Why didn't you want me to know you               were a virgin?                            BRIAN               Because it's personal business, it's               my personal, private business.                            BENDER               Well Brian, it doesn't sound like               you're doing any business...                            CLAIRE               I think it's okay for a guy to be a               virgin...     Bender looks suprised.                            BRIAN               You do?     Claire smiles and nods.                                                  CUT TO: 18.  INT. LIBRARY - DAY     Later.     Everybody has lunches now.     Claire begins to take hers out of a small shopping bag.                            BENDER               What's in there?                            CLAIRE               Guess, where's your lunch?                            BENDER               You're wearing it...                            CLAIRE               You're nauseating...     Bender grabs a Coke and tosses it over to Allison who     catches it without even looking up.     Bender then watches Claire set up a sushi platter.                            BENDER               What's that?                            CLAIRE               Sushi...                            BENDER               Sushi?                            CLAIRE               Rice, uh, raw fish and seaweed.                            BENDER               You won't accept a guys tongue in               your mouth and you're gonna eat               that?                            CLAIRE               Can I eat?                            BENDER               I don't know...give it a try...     We now watch Andrew take a couple sandwiches out of his     bag, a bag of potato chips, an apple, a banana, a bag     of cookies and a carton of milk.     Allison opens her Coke and it fizzes over.  She loudly     slurps it up off the table and her fingers.     Andrew sees Bender looking at him.                            ANDREW               What's your problem?     Allison opens her sandwich and and tosses the meat up.     It lands on the sculpture above.     She opens some pixie stix and pours the sugar on the     sandwich and then puts Cap'n Crunch on top of that.     She crushes the sandwich together and loudly eats it.     Bender goes over and sits by Brian, Bender takes     Brian's bag lunch.                            BENDER               What're we having?                            BRIAN               Uh, it's your standard, regular               lunch I guess...     Bender reaches in the bag and pulls out a thermos.  He     sets it on the table and points at it.                            BENDER               Milk?                            BRIAN               Soup.     Bender goes in again and pulls out a juice box.     Brian reaches toward the bag and Bender slaps his hand.                            BRIAN               That's apple juice...                            BENDER               I can read!  PB & J with the crusts               cut off...Well Brian, this is a               very nutritous lunch, all the food               groups are represented.  Did your               mom marry Mr. Rogers?                            BRIAN               Uh, no, Mr. Johnson...                            BENDER               Ahhh....     Andrew and Claire smile at each other.  Bender stands.                            BENDER               Here's my impression of life at big               Bri's house...                    (in a loud and friendly voice)               Son!                    (in a kiddie voice)               Yeah Dad?                    (loud)               How's your day, pal?                    (kiddie)               Great Dad, how's yours?                    (loud)               Super, say son, how'd you like to go               fishing this weekend?                    (kiddie)               Great Dad, but I've got homework to               do!                    (loud)               That's alright son, you can do it,               on the boat!                    (kiddie)               Geee!!!                    (loud)               Dear, isn't our son swell?                    (quiet and motherly)               Yes Dear, isn't life swell?     Bender mimes mother kissing father and then father     kissing mother and then father punching mother in the     face.     Suddenly it's not so funny anymore.                            ANDREW               Alright, what about your family?                            BENDER               Oh, mine?                            ANDREW               That's real easy!     Bender stands again and points forward.                            BENDER                    (as his father)               Stupid, worthless, no good, God               damned, freeloading, son of a bitch,               retarded, bigmouth, know it all,               asshole, jerk!                       (as his mother)               You forgot ugly, lazy and               disrespectful.     Bender slams his hand back to slap his invisable     mother.                            BENDER                    (as his father)               Shut up bitch!  Go fix me a turkey               pot pie!                    (as himself)               What about you Dad?                    (as his father)               Fuck you!                    (as himself)               No, Dad, what about you?                    (as his father)               Fuck you!                    (as himself--yelling)               No, Dad, what about you?                    (as his father--yelling)               Fuck you!     He reaches out and pretend he's his father hitting him.                            BRIAN               Is that for real?                            BENDER                    (to Brian)               You wanna come over sometime?                            ANDREW               That's bullshit.  It's all part of               your image, I don't believe a word               of it.     Bender actually looks hurt.                     BENDER               You don't believe me?                            ANDREW               No...                            BENDER               No?                            ANDREW               Did I stutter?     Bender comes over to Andrew and rolls up his right     sleeve to reveal a circular shaped burn.                            BENDER               Do you believe this?  Huh?  It's               about the size of a cigar...Do I               stutter?  You see, this is what you               get in my house when you spill paint               in the garage.     Bender begins to walk away.                            BENDER               See I don't think that I need to               sit here with you fuckin' dildos anymore!     Bender walks over to a map table and throws all the     maps on the floor.  He climbs up on top of the table and     then up to the second floor balcony.                            CLAIRE                    (to Andrew)               You shouldn't have said that!                            ANDREW               How would I know, I mean he lies               about everything anyway!                                                 CUT TO: 19. INT. VERNON'S OFFICE - DAY     Vernon puts an orange in his mouth and then attempts to     pour coffee out of his thermos.  The top comes off and     the coffee goes all over his desk.                            VERNON               Oh, shit!                                                  CUT TO: 20. INT. HALLWAY - DAY     Vernon walks into the hallway, talking to himself.                            VERNON               Coffee...looks like they scrape it               off the bottom of the Mississippi               river.  Everything's polluted,               everything's polluted...the coffee.     Bender comes out of the library doors followed     bye veryone else.     Bender and Claire are walking next to each other.     Brian and Andrew are walking next to each other and at the     end of the line, Allison is following.                            CLAIRE                    (to Bender)               How do you know where Vernon went?                            BENDER               I don't...                            CLAIRE               Well then, how do you know when he'll               be back?                            BENDER               I don't...being bad feels pretty               good, huh?                            BRIAN                    (to Andrew)               What's the point in going to Bender's               locker?                            ANDREW               Beats me...                            BRIAN               This is so stupid...Why do you think,               why are we risking getting caught?                            ANDREW               I dunno...                            BRIAN               So then what are we doing?                            ANDREW               You ask me one more question and I'm               beating the shit out of you!                            BRIAN               Sorry...     Bender opens his locker.                            ANDREW               Slob!                            BENDER               My maid's on vacation.     Bender pulls out a bag of marijuana.                            BRIAN               Drugs...                            ANDREW              Screw that Bender...put it back!     Bender walks away.                         BRIAN               Drugs...the boy had marijuana.     Claire walks after Bender.                            BRIAN               That was marijuana!                            ANDREW               Shut up!     Andrew follows the other two.  Brian looks at Allison     who is standing there with her mouth open.                            BRIAN               Do you approve of this?     Brian turns and leaves.  Allison steals the lock off of     Bender's locker.     We see the crowd walking down the hall.                            BENDER               We'll cross through the lab, and               then we'll double back.                            ANDREW               You better be right, if Vernon cuts               us off it's your fault, asshole!                            BRIAN                    (to Claire)               What'd he say?  Where're we going?     They see Vernon down one of the halls.  We have various     sequences of them running around and seeing Vernon     until they stop.                            BENDER               Wait!  Wait, hold it!  Hold it!  We               have to go through the cafeteria!                            ANDREW               No, the activities hall.                            BENDER               Hey man, you don't know what you're               talking about!                            ANDREW               No you don't know what you're               talking about!     Allison squeaks.                            ANDREW               Now we're through listening to you,               we're going this way.     They all go Andrew's way and run into a hall closed by     an iron gate.                            ANDREW               Shit!                            BENDER               Great idea Jagoff!                            ANDREW               Fuck you!                            CLAIRE                    (to Andrew)               Fuck you!  Why didn't you listen to               John?                            BRIAN               We're dead!                            BENDER               No, just me!                            BRIAN               What do you mean?                            BENDER               Get back to the library, keep your               unit on this!     Bender puts his bag of marijuana into Brian's     underwear.     Bender runs away singing loudly.  “I wanna be an     airborne ranger...”     We see Vernon hear Bender.     The rest of them run.                            VERNON               That son of a bitch!     We see Vernon looking for Bender until he finds him in     the gym.     Bender is going up for a basket.                            BENDER               Three...two...one!     He dunks the ball.  Vernon enters.                            VERNON               Bender!  Bender!  Bender!  What is               this?  What are you doing here, what               is this?                            BENDER               Oh, hi!                            VERNON               Out!  That's it Bender!  Out, it's               over!                            BENDER               Don't you wanna hear my excuse?                            VERNON               Out!                            BENDER               I'm thinking of trying out for a               scholarship.                            VERNON               Gimmie the ball, Bender.     Bender fakes the ball at Vernon.  He then sets the ball     down and rolls it at Vernon who kicks it back at him.     They leave.                                                  CUT TO: 21. INT. LIBRARY - DAY     The rest of the kids are all sitting back in their     seats when Bender and Vernon enter.  Vernon pushes Bender.                            VERNON               Get your stuff, let's go!                    (to everyone)               Mr. Wiseguy here has taken it upon               himself to go to the gymnasium.  I'm               sorry to inform you, you're going to               be without his services for the rest               of the day.                            BENDER                    (to Vernon)               B-O-O H-O-O!                            VERNON               Everything's a big joke, huh Bender?               The false alarm you pulled, Friday,               false alarms are really funny,               aren't they...What if your home,               what if your family...                    (a beat)               ...what if your dope was on fire?                            BENDER               Impossible, sir...It's in Johnson's               underwear...     Andrew laughs.                            VERNON                    (to Andrew)               You think he's funny?  You think               this is cute?  You think he's               bitchin', is that it?  Lemme tell               you something.  Look at him, he's a               bum.                    (to everybody)               You wanna see something funny?  You               go visit John Bender in five years!               You'll see how God damned funny he               is!                    (to Bender)               What's the matter, John?  You gonna               cry?  Let's go...     Vernon grabs Bender's shoulder.                            BENDER               Hey keep your fuckin' hands off me!               I expect better manners from you,               Dick!     Bender takes his sunglasses out of his pocket and lays     them in front of Andrew.                            BENDER               For better hallway vision!     Bender leaves but not before pushing stuff over on the     way.                                                  CUT TO: 21. INT. CLOSET - DAY     Vernon has put Bender in a closet and is in there     talking to him.                            VERNON               That's the last time, Bender.  That's               the last time you ever make me look               bad in front of those kids, do you               hear me?  I make $31,000 dollars a               year and I have a home and I'm not               about to throw it away on some punk               like you...But someday, man, someday.               When you're outta here and you've               forgotten all about this place...               And they've forgotten all about you               and you're wrapped up in your own               pathetic life...I'm gonna be there.               That's right.  And I'm gonna kick               the living shit out of you, man, I'm               gonna knock your dick in the dirt!                            BENDER               Are you threatening me?                            VERNON               What're you gonna do about it?  You               think anybody's gonna believe you?               You think anybody's gonna take your               word over mine?  I'm a man of               respect around here.  They love me               around here, I'm a swell guy...you're               a lying sack of shit!  And everybody               knows it.  Oh, you're a real tough               guy...come on, come on...get on your               feet, pal!  Let's find out how               tough you are!  I wanna know right               now, how tough you are!  Come on!               I'll give you the first punch, let's               go!  Come on, right here, just take               the first shot!  Please, I'm begging               you, take a shot!  Come on, just               take one shot, that's all I need,               just one swing...     Bender just sits there staring at Vernon.  Vernon fakes     a punch and Bender flinches.                            VERNON               That's what I though...you're a               gutless turd!     Vernon leaves and locks the closet door after him.     Bender climbs into a hatch in the ceiling and     disappears.                                                 CUT TO: 22. INT. HEATING DUCT - DAY     Bender is slowly crawling through a heating duct.                            BENDER                    (to himself)               A naked blond walks into a bar, with               a poodle under one arm and a two               foot salami under the other.  She               lays the poodle on the table.  Bar-               tender says: "I suppose you won't               be needing a drink."  The naked               lady says...     The ceiling under Bender gives and he falls through.                            BENDER                    (screaming)               Oh shit!!!!                                                  CUT TO: 23. INT. FACILTY BATHROOM - DAY     We see the door to the bathroom.  We hear Vernon     inside.                         VERNON (OS)               Jesus Christ, allmighty!                                                  CUT TO 24. INT. LIBRARY - DAY     Bender walks down the stairs.                            BENDER               I forgot my pencil...     We hear Vernon in the hall.                         VERNON (OS)               God damnit!  What in God's name is               going on in here?     Vernon enters.                            VERNON              What was that ruckus?                            ANDREW               Uh, what ruckus?                            VERNON               I was just in my office and I heard               a ruckus!                            BRIAN               Could you describe the ruckus, sir?                            VERNON               Watch your tongue young man, watch               it!     We see Bender under the table by Claire's legs.  He     sits up and bangs his head on the table.  He groans.     Above the table, Andrew and Claire try to take credit     for the noise by making more noise.                            VERNON               What is that?  What, what is that,               what is that noise?     Under the table, Bender looks between Claire's legs and     can see her panties.  He puts his head between Claire's     legs.                            ANDREW               What noise?                            CLAIRE               Really, sir, there wasn't any noise...     Claire squeels.  She squeezes Bender's head between her     knees.     Everyone starts faking a coughing fit.                            CLAIRE                    (flustered)               That noise?  Was that the noise you               were talking about?                            VERNON               No, it wasn't.  That was not the               noise I was talking about.  Now, I               may not have caught you in the act               this time, but you can bet I will.     Allison laughs at Vernon.                            VERNON               You make book on that missy!                    (to Claire)               And you!  I will not be made a fool               of!     He turns and walks away.  We see that he still has the     toilet seat cover stuck to his pants.     Vernon leaves.     Everyone laughs except Claire who lets Bender out to a     barage of slaps.                            BENDER               It was an accident!                           CLAIRE               You're an asshole!                            BENDER               So sue me...     Bender gets up and walks over to Brian.                            BENDER               So, Ahab...Kybo Mein Doobage...     Brian gives Bender his bag of marajuana.  Bender turns     and walks away.                            ANDREW               Yo waistoid...you're not gonna blaze               up in here!     Claire gets up and goes after him.  Then Brian.                            ANDREW               Shit...     Andrew goes.                                                  CUT TO: 25. INT. STAIRS - DAY     We see Vernon go down the stairs.                                                  CUT TO: 26. INT. LIBRARY - DAY     Brian, Bender and Claire are sitting in a circle and     laughing hysterically.     Bender lights Claire up and she coughs the smoke out.     Brian laughs at her.  He exhales and tries to eat the     smoke.  He talks in a really weird voice.                            BRIAN               Chicks, cannot hold der smoke!  That's               what it is!                            CLAIRE               Do you know how popular I am?  I'm               so popular, everybody loves me so               much, at this school...                            BENDER               Poor baby.     Brian waves Claire over to him and he falls over.     We see Andrew emerge from a really smokey room.  He     inhales another puff and then starts dancing to     everybody's applause.     He goes back in the room he was in.  He screams and it     shatters the glass in the door.                                                  CUT TO: 27. INT. BASEMENT - DAY     Vernon is glancing through the confidential files in the     school basement.                            VERNON                    (to himself)               Mister, oh mister Tearney...a               history of slight mental illness?               Wooh, no wonder he's so fucked up!     Carl enters.                             CARL               Afternoon, Dick...                            VERNON               Hey Carl, how you doin'?                             CARL               Good...                            VERNON               Good, what's up?                             CARL               Not much, what's happening, what               are you doing in the basement files?                            VERNON               Oh, nothin' nothin' here.  I'm just               doin' a little homework here...                             CARL               Homework, huh?                            VERNON               Yeah...     Carl, laughing, comes over and looks at the files that     Vernon was looking at.                             CARL               Confidential files...hmmm?                            VERNON               Look, Carl...this is a highly               sensitive area and I, I tell you               something...certain people would be               very very embarrassed.  I would really               appreciate it if if if if this would               be something that, that you and I               could keep between us...                             CARL               What're you gonna do for me, man?                            VERNON               Well, well what would you like?                             CARL               Got fifty bucks?                            VERNON               What?                             CARL               Fifty bucks...                                                  CUT TO: 28. INT. LIBRARY - DAY     We see Andrew and Brian laughing.  Allison is hanging     out over by the statue in the back of the library.                            ANDREW               No no man, no; you got a middle               name?                            BRIAN               Yeah, guess...     Allison suddenly takes interest in the conversation and     as she speaks, she moves over and sits next to the two.                           ALLISON               Your middle name is Ralph, as in               puke...     Brian and Andrew look at her in confusion.                           ALLISON               ...your birthday is March 12th,               you're five-nine and a half you               weigh a hundred and thirty pounds               and your social security number is               0-4-9-3-8-0-9-1                    (a beat)               3.     Andrew is impressed.                            ANDREW               Wow!  Are you psychic?                           ALLISON               No...                            BRIAN               Well would you mind telling me how               you know all this about me?     Allison reaches in her bag.                           ALLISON               I stole your wallet...     She produces it in her hands and grins.                            BRIAN               Give it to me...                           ALLISON               No...                            BRIAN               Give it!     Allison reluctantly hands over the wallet and Brian     glances through it to make sure nothing is missing.                            BRIAN               This is great...you're a thief too!               Huh?                           ALLISON               I'm not a thief!                            BRIAN               Multi-talented!                           ALLISON               What's there to steal?  Two bucks               and a beaver shot!                            ANDREW               A what?                          ALLISON               He's got a nudie picture in there!               I saw it, it's perverted!                            ANDREW               Alright, let's see it!     We see Bender, he is brushing his teeth with one of     Claire's cosmetic brushes.     We see Claire looking through Bender's wallet pictures.                            CLAIRE               Are all these your girlfriends?                            BENDER               Some of them...                            CLAIRE               What about the others?                            BENDER               Well, some I consider my girlfriends               and some...I just consider...                            CLAIRE               Consider what?                            BENDER               Whether or not, I wanna hang out               with them...                            CLAIRE               You don't believe in just one guy,               one girl?                            BENDER               Do you?                            CLAIRE               Yeah...that's the way it should be.                            BENDER               Well, not for me...                            CLAIRE               Why not?     Bender clearly doesn't want to answer that.  He acts     defensive.                            BENDER               How come you got so much shit in               your purse?                            CLAIRE               How come you got so many               girlfriends?                            BENDER               I asked you first...                            CLAIRE                    (shrugs)               I dunno...I guess I never throw               anything away.                            BENDER               Neither do I...                            CLAIRE               Oh...     We cut back to where Andrew, Brian and Allison are     sitting, Andrew is looking through Brian's wallet.                            ANDREW               This is the worst fake ID I've ever               seen...     Brian laughs.                            ANDREW               Do you realize you made yourself               sixty eight?                            BRIAN               Oh, I know...I know, I goofed it...                            ANDREW               What do you need a fake ID for?                            BRIAN                    (like it's obvious)               So I can vote!     Allison looks up suddenly.                           ALLISON               You wanna see what's in my bag?                        BRIAN & ANDREW               No!     Allison looks hurt and then resentful.  Just to spite     them, she dumps the contents of her bag onto the couch.     Lots of stuff comes out.                            ANDREW               Holy shit!  What is all that stuff?                            BRIAN               Do you always carry this much shit               in your bag?                           ALLISON               Yeah...I always carry this much shit               ...in my bag...You never know when               you may have to jam...                            BRIAN               Are you gonna be like a shopping               bag lady?  You know like, sit in               alleyways and like talk to buildings               and wear men's shoes and that kinda               thing?                           ALLISON               I'll do what I have to do...                            BRIAN               Why do you have to do anything?                           ALLISON                    (with feeling)               My home life is un...satisfying...                            BRIAN               So you're saying you'd subject               yourself to the violent dangers of               the Chicago streets because your               homelife is unsatisfying?                           ALLISON               I don't have to run away and live               in the street...I can run away and,               go to the ocean, I can go to the               country, I can go to the mountains.               I can go to Israel, Africa,               Afghanistan...     Brian looks at her and then moves over to Andrew.                            BRIAN               Andy...you wanna get in on this?               Allison here says, she wants to run               away, because her home life is               unsatisfying...                            ANDREW               Well everyone's home lives are un-               satisfying...If it wasn't, people               would live with there parents               forever...                            BRIAN               Yeah, yeah I understand.  But I               think that her's goes beyond, you               know, what guys like you and me...               consider normal unsatisfying...                           ALLISON               Nevermind...forget it, everything's               cool!     Allison starts putting everything back in her purse.                            ANDREW               What's the deal?                           ALLISON               No!  There's no deal, Sporto.               Forget it, leave me alone.                            ANDREW               Wait a minute, now you're carrying               all that crap around in your purse.               Either you really wanna run away or               you want people to think you wanna               run away.                           ALLISON               Eat shit!     Allison gets up and walks away.                            BRIAN               The girl is an island, with herself.               Okay?     Andrew gets up and goes after her.                            ANDREW               Hi, you wanna talk?                           ALLISON               No!                            ANDREW               Why not?                           ALLISON               Go away...                            ANDREW               Where do you want me to go?                           ALLISON               GO away!     Andrew turns away and Allison starts to cry.                           ALLISON               You have problems...                            ANDREW               Oh, I have problems?                           ALLISON               You do everything everybody ever               tells you to do, that is a problem!                            ANDREW               Okay, fine...but I didn't dump my               purse out on the couch and invite               people into my problems...Did I?               So what's wrong?  What is it?  Is               is bad?  Real bad?  Parents?     Allison is silently crying.                           ALLISON               Yeah...     Andrew nods.                            ANDREW               What do they do to you?                           ALLISON              They ignore me...                            ANDREW               Yeah...yeah...     They both are crying silently.                                                  CUT TO: 29. INT. BASEMENT - DAY     Vernon and Carl are sitting talking.                            VERNON               What did you want to be when you               were young?                             CARL               When I was a kid, I wanted to be               John Lennon...                            VERNON               Carl don't be a goof!  I'm trying               to make a serious point here...I've               been teaching, for twenty two years,               and each year...these kids get more               and more arrogant.                             CARL               Aw bull shit, man.  Come on Vern,               the kids haven't changed, you have!               You took a teaching position, 'cause               you thought it'd be fun, right?               Thought you could have summer               vacations off...and then you found               out it was actually work...and that               really bummed you out.                            VERNON               These kids turned on me...they think               I'm a big fuckin' joke...                             CARL               Come on...listen Vern, if you were               sixteen, what would you think of               you, huh?                            VERNON               Hey...Carl, you think I give one               rat's ass what these kids think of               me?                             CARL               Yes I do...                            VERNON               You think about this...when you get               old, these kids; when I get old,               they're gonna be runnin' the country.                             CARL               Yeah?                            VERNON               Now this is the thought that wakes               me up in the middle of the night...               That when I get older, these kids               are gonna take care of me...                             CARL               I wouldn't count on it!     Vernon ponders that statement for a moment.                                                  CUT TO: 30. INT. LIBRARY - DAY     They are sitting on the floor in a circle.                            ANDREW               What would I do for a million bucks?               Well, I guess I'd do as little as I               had to...                            CLAIRE               That's boring...                            ANDREW               Well, how'm I s'posed to answer?                   ��        CLAIRE               The idea is to like search your mind               for the absolute limit.  Like, uh,               would you drive to school naked?     Andrew laughs.                            ANDREW               Um, uh...would I have to get out of               the car?                            CLAIRE               Of course...                            ANDREW               In the spring, or winter?                            CLAIRE               It doesn't matter...spring...                            ANDREW               In front of the school or in back               of the school?                            CLAIRE               Either one...                            ANDREW               Yes...                           ALLISON               I'd do that!     They all look at her.                           ALLISON               I'll do anything sexual, I don't               need a million dollars to do it               either...                            CLAIRE               You're lying...                           ALLISON               I already have...I've done just               about everything there is except a               few things that are illegal...I'm a               nymphomaniac!     Claire rolls her eyes.                            CLAIRE               Lie...                            BRIAN               Are your parents aware of this?                           ALLISON               The only person I told was my               shrink...                            ANDREW               And what'd he do when you told him?                           ALLISON               He nailed me...                            CLAIRE               Very nice...                           ALLISON               I don't think that from a legal               standpoint what he did can be               construed as rape since I paid him.                            CLAIRE               He's an adult!     Allison is relishing this attention.                           ALLISON               Yeah...he's married too!     Claire notes her disgust.                            CLAIRE               Do you have any idea how completely               gross that is?                           ALLISON               Well, the first few times...                            CLAIRE               First few times?  You mean he did it               more than once?                           ALLISON               Sure...                            CLAIRE               Are you crazy?                            BRIAN               Obviously she's crazy if she's               screwing her shrink...                           ALLISON                    (to Claire)               Have you ever done it?                            CLAIRE               I don't even have a psychiatrist...                           ALLISON               Have you ever done it with a normal               person?                            CLAIRE               Now, didn't we already cover this?                            BENDER               You never answered the question...                            CLAIRE               Look, I'm not gonna discuss my               private life with total strangers.                           ALLISON               It's kind of a double-edged sword,               isn't it?                            CLAIRE               A what?                           ALLISON               Well, if you say you haven't...               you're a prude.  If you say you               have...you're a slut!  It's a trap.               You want to but you can't but when               you do you wish you didn't, right?                            CLAIRE               Wrong...                           ALLISON               Or, are you a tease?                            ANDREW               She's a tease...                            CLAIRE               Oh why don't you just forget it...                            ANDREW               You're a tease and you know it, all               girls are teases!                            BENDER                    (to Andrew)               She's only a tease if what she does               gets you hot...                            CLAIRE               I don't do anything!                           ALLISON               That's why you're a tease...                            CLAIRE               Okay, lemme ask you a few questions.     Allison is suddenly defensive.                           ALLISON               I've already told you everything!                            CLAIRE               No!  Doesn't it bother you to sleep               around without being in love.  I               mean don't you want any respect?                           ALLISON               I don't screw to get respect...That's               the difference between you and me...                            CLAIRE               Not the only difference, I hope.                            BENDER               Face it, you're a tease.                            CLAIRE               I'm not a tease!                            BENDER               Sure you are!  You said it yourself               sex is a weapon, you use it to get               respect!                            CLAIRE               No, I never said that, she twisted               my words around.                            BENDER               Oh then what do you use it for?                            CLAIRE               I don't use it period!     Claire is on the verge of tears.                            BENDER               Oh, are you medically frigid or is               it psychological?                            CLAIRE               I didn't mean it that way!  You guys               are putting words into my mouth!                            BENDER               Well if you'd just answer the               question...                            BRIAN               Why don't you just answer the               question?                            ANDREW               Be honest...                            BENDER               No big deal...                            BRIAN               Yeah, answer it!                            ANDREW               Answer the question, Claire!                            BENDER               Talk to us!                       ANDREW & BRIAN               Come on, answer the question!                            BENDER               It's easy, it's only one question!     Claire silences all of them by screaming.                            CLAIRE                    (screaming)               No!  I never did it!     Silence for two beats.                           ALLISON               I never did it either, I'm not a               nymphomaniac...I'm a compulsive               liar...                            CLAIRE               You are such a bitch!  You did that               on purpose just to fuck me over!                           ALLISON               I would do it though...If you love               someone it's okay...                            CLAIRE               I can't believe you, you're so               weird.  You don't say anything all               day and then when you open your               mouth...you unload all these               tremendous lies all over me!                            ANDREW               You're just pissed off because she               got you to admit something you didn't               want to admit to...                            CLAIRE               Okay, fine, but that doesn't make it               any less bizarre...                            ANDREW               What's bizarre?  I mean we're all               pretty bizarre!  Some of us are just               better at hiding it, that's all.                            CLAIRE                    (to Andrew)               How are you bizarre?     Allison decides to field that question.                           ALLISON               He can't think for himself...                            ANDREW               She's right...do you guys know what,               uh, what I did to get in here?  I               taped Larry Lester's buns together.     Claire laughs.                            BRIAN                    (to Andrew)               That was you?                           ANDREW                    (to Brian)               Yeah, you know him?                            BRIAN               Yeah, I know him...                            ANDREW               Well then you know how hairy he is,               right?  Well, when they pulled the               tape off, most of his hair came off               and some, some skin too...                            CLAIRE               Oh my God...                            ANDREW               And the bizarre thing is, is that               I did it for my old man...I               tortured this poor kid, because I               wanted him to think that I was cool.               He's always going off about, you               know, when he was in school...all               the wild things he used to do.  And               I got the feeling that he was               disappointed that I never cut loose               on anyone, right...So, I'm...I'm               sitting in the locker room, and I'm               taping up my knee.  And Larry's               undressing a couple lockers down               from me.  Yeah...he's kinda...               he's kinda skinny, weak.  And I               started thinking about my father,               and his attitude about weakness.               And the next thing I knew, I uh, I               jumped on top of him and started               wailing on him...And my friends,               they just laughed and cheered me on.               And afterwards, when I was sittin'               in Vernon's office, all I could               think about was Larry's father. And               Larry havin' to go home and...and               explain what happened to him.  And               the humiliation...fucking               humiliation he mustuv felt.  It               mustuv been unreal...I mean,                    (he's crying)               I mean, how do you apologize for               something like that?  There's no               way...it's all because of me and               my old man.  Oh God, I fucking hate               him!  He's like this...he's like               this mindless machine that I can't               even relate to anymore..."Andrew,               you've got to be number one!  I               won't tolerate any losers in this               family...Your intensity is for shit!               Win.  Win!  WIN!!!"  You son of a               bitch!  You know, sometimes, I wish               my knee would give...and I wouldn't               be able to wrestle anymore.  And he               could forget all about me...                            BENDER               I think your old man and my old man               should get together and go bowling.     Andrew laughs briefly.                            BRIAN               It's like me, you know, with my               grades...like, when I, when I               step outside myself kinda, and               when I, when I look in at myself               you know?  And I see me and I don't               like what I see, I really don't.                            CLAIRE               What's wrong with you?  Why don't               you like yourself?                            BRIAN               'Cause I'm stupid...'cause I'm failing               shop.  See we had this assignment,               to make this ceramic elephant, and               um...and we had eight weeks to do               it and we're s'posed ta, and it was               like a lamp, and when you pull the               trunk the light was s'posed to go               on...my light didn't go on, I got a               F on it.  Never got a F in my life...               When I signed up, you know, for the               course I mean.  I thought I was               playing it real smart, you know.               'Cause I thought, I'll take shop,               it'll be such an easy way to               maintain my grade point average...                            BENDER               Why'd you think it'd be easy?                            BRIAN               Have you seen some of the dopes that               take shop?                            BENDER               I take shop...you must be a fuckin'               idiot!                            BRIAN               I'm a fuckin' idiot because I can't               make a lamp?                            BENDER               No, you're a genius because you               can't make a lamp...                            BRIAN               What do you know about Trigonometry?                            BENDER               I could care less about               Trigonometry...                            BRIAN               Bender, did you know without               Trigonometry there'd be no               engineering?                            BENDER               Without lamps, there'd be no light!                            CLAIRE              Okay so neither one of you is any               better than the other one...     Allison feels left out.                           ALLISON               I can write with my toes!  I can               also eat, brush my teeth...                            CLAIRE               With your feet?                           ALLISON               ...play Heart & Soul on the piano.                            BRIAN               I can make spaghetti!                            CLAIRE                    (to Andrew)               What can you do?                            ANDREW               I can...uh...tape all your buns               together...                            BENDER               I wanna see what Claire can do!                            CLAIRE               I can't do anything.                            BENDER               Now, everybody can do something...                            CLAIRE               There's one thing I can do, no               forget it, it's way too embarrassing.                            BENDER               You ever seen Wild Kingdom?  I mean               that guy's been doing that show for               thirty years.                            CLAIRE               Okay, but you have to swear to God               you won't laugh...I can't believe               I'm actually doing this...     Claire takes lipstick out and opens it.  She places it     between her breasts and applies it from her cleavage.     When she lifts her head, her lipstick is perfect.      Everyone claps.  Bender's clap is sarcastic and slow.                            ANDREW               All right, great!  Where'd you learn               to do that?                            CLAIRE               Camp, seventh grade...                            BENDER               That was great, Claire...my image of               you is totally blown...                           ALLISON               You're a shit!  Don't do that to her               you swore to God you wouldn't laugh!                            BENDER               Am I laughing?                            ANDREW               You fucking prick!     Bender turns to Andrew.  As he speaks, we can see his     words hitting home.                            BENDER               What do you care what I think,               anyway?  I don't even count, right?               I could disappear forever and it               wouldn't make any difference...I may               as well not even exist at this               school, remember?                    (he turns to Claire)               And you...don't like me anyway!                            CLAIRE               You know, I have just as many               feelings as you do and it hurts               just as much when somebody steps               all over them!                            BENDER               God, you're so pathetic!                    (furious)               Don't you ever...ever!  Compare               yourself to me!  Okay?  You got               everything, and I got shit!  Fuckin'               Rapunzel, right?  School would               probably fucking shut down if you               didn't show up!  "Queenie isn't               here!"  I like those earrings Claire.                            CLAIRE                    (quietly)               Shut up...                            BENDER               Are those real diamonds, Claire?                            CLAIRE                    (angry)               Shut up!                    BENDER                       CLAIRE          I bet they are...did you          work, for the money               Shut...          for those earrings?                   Your mouth!                            BENDER               Or did your daddy buy those?                            CLAIRE                    (furious)               Shut up!     Claire starts crying.                            BENDER               I bet he bought those for you!  I               bet those are a Christmas gift!               Right?  You know what I got for               Christmas this year?  It was a               banner fuckin' year at the old               Bender family!  I got a carton of               cigarettes.  The old man grabbed me               and said "Hey!  Smoke up Johnny!"               Okay, so go home'n cry to your               daddy, don't cry here, okay?     There are a few beats.                            ANDREW               My God, are we gonna be like our               parents?                            CLAIRE               Not me...ever...                           ALLISON               It's unavoidable, it just happens.                            CLAIRE               What happens?                           ALLISON               When you grow up, your heart dies.                            BENDER               Who cares?     Allison is on the verge of tears herself.                           ALLISON               I care...                            BRIAN               Um, I was just thinking, I mean.  I               know it's kind of a weird time, but               I was just wondering, um, what is               gonna happen to us on Monday?  When               we're all together again?  I mean I               consider you guys my friends, I'm               not wrong, am I?                            ANDREW               No...                            BRIAN               So, so on Monday...what happens?                            CLAIRE               Are we still friends, you mean?               If we're friends now, that is?                            BRIAN               Yeah...                            CLAIRE               Do you want the truth?                            BRIAN               Yeah, I want the truth...                            CLAIRE               I don't think so...                           ALLISON               Well, do you mean all of us or just               John?                            CLAIRE               With all of you...                            ANDREW               That's a real nice attitude, Claire!                            CLAIRE               Oh, be honest, Andy...if Brian came               walking up to you in the hall on               Monday, what would you do?  I mean               picture this, you're there with all               the sports.  I know exactly what               you'd do, you'd say hi to him and               when he left you'd cut him all up               so your friends wouldn't think you               really liked him!                            ANDREW               No way!                           ALLISON               'Kay, what if I came up to you?                            CLAIRE               Same exact thing!                            BENDER                    (furious and screaming at Claire)               You are a bitch!                            CLAIRE               Why?  'Cause I'm telling the truth,               that makes me a bitch?                            BENDER               No!  'Cause you know how shitty that               is to do to someone!  And you don't               got the balls to stand up to your               friends and tell 'em that you're               gonna like who you wanna like!                            CLAIRE               Okay, what about you, you hypocrite!               Why don't you take Allison to one of               your heavy metal vomit parties?  Or               take Brian out to the parking lot at               lunch to get high?  What about Andy               for that matter, what about me?               What would your friends say if we               were walking down the hall together.               They'd laugh their asses off and               you'd probably tell them you were               doing it with me so they'd forgive               you for being seen with me.                            BENDER                    (furious once again)               Don't you ever talk about my               friends!  You don't know any of my               friends, you don't look at any of my               friends and you certainly wouldn't               condescend to speak to any of my               friends so you just stick to the               things you know, shopping, nail               polish, your father's BMW and your               poor--rich--drunk mother in the               Carribean!                            CLAIRE                    (furious and sobbing)               Shut up!                            BENDER               And as far as being concerned about               what's gonna happen when you and I               walk down the hallways at school,               you can forget it!  'Cause it's never               gonna happen!  Just bury your head               in the sand...and wait for your               fuckin' prom!                            CLAIRE               I hate you!                            BENDER               Yeah?  Good!     There is silence until Brian speaks.                            BRIAN               Then I assume Allison and I are               better people than you guys, huh?               Us weirdos...                    (to Allison)               Do you, would you do that to me?                           ALLISON               I don't have any friends...                            BRIAN               Well if you did?                           ALLISON               No...I don't think the kind of               friends I'd have would mind...                            BRIAN               I just wanna tell, each of you,               that I wouldn't do that...I wouldn't               and I will not!  'Cause I think that's               real shitty...                            CLAIRE               Your friends wouldn't mind because               they look up to us...     Brian laughs at her.                            BRIAN               You're so conceited, Claire.  You're               so conceited.  You're so, like, full               of yourself, why are you like that?                            CLAIRE                    (crying again)               I'm not saying that to be conceited!               I hate it!  I hate having to go               along with everything my friends say!                            BRIAN               Well then why do you do it?                            CLAIRE               I don't know, I don't...you don't               understand..you don't.  You're not               friends with the same kind of people               that Andy and I are friends with!               You know, you just don't understand               the pressure that they can put on               you!     Brian is shocked.                            BRIAN               I don't understand what?  You think               I don't understand pressure, Claire?               Well fuck you!  Fuck you!     Brian hides his head in his arm because he is crying.                            BRIAN               Know why I'm here today?  Do you?               I'm here because Mr. Ryan found a               gun in the locker...                            ANDREW               Why'd you have a gun in your locker?                            BRIAN               I tried.  You pull the fuckin' trunk               on it and the light's s'posed to go               on...and it didn't go on, I mean,               I...                            ANDREW               What's the gun for Brian?                            BRIAN               Just forget it...                            ANDREW               You brought it up, man!                            BRIAN               I can't have an F, I can't have it               and I know my parents can't have it!               Even if I aced the rest of the               semester, I'm still only a B.  And               everything's ruined for me!                            CLAIRE                    (with pity)               Oh Brian...     Brian bashes a chair over.                            BRIAN               So I considered my options, you               know?                            CLAIRE               No!  Killing yourself is not an               option!                            BRIAN               Well I didn't do it, did I?  No, I               don't think so!                           ALLISON               It was a hand gun?                            BRIAN               No, it was a flare gun, went off               in my locker.                            ANDREW               Really?     Andrew starts to laugh.                            BRIAN               It's not funny...     They all start to laugh, including Brian.                            BRIAN               Yes it is...fuckin' elephant was               destroyed!                           ALLISON               You wanna know what I did to get in               here?  Nothing...I didn't have               anything better to do.     Everyone laughs.                           ALLISON               You're laughing at me...                            ANDREW               No!     Allison starts to laugh too.                           ALLISON               Yeah you are!                                                  CUT TO: 31. INT. LIBRARY - DAY     Later.     We see Brian putting a record on and then music starts.     We see them all dancing.  This goes on for the duration     of the song.                                                  CUT TO: 32. INT. HEATING DUCT - DAY     We see Bender crawling back through the heating duct.                                                  CUT TO: 33. INT. LIBRARY - DAY     Andrew, Allison, Claire and Brian are sitting, in that     order on the railing.                            CLAIRE               Brian?                            BRIAN               Yeah?                            CLAIRE               Are you gonna write your paper?                            BRIAN               Yeah, why?                            CLAIRE               Well, it's kinda a waste for all of               us to write our paper, don't you               think?                            BRIAN               Oh, but that's what Vernon wants us               to do...                            CLAIRE               True, but I think we'd all kinda               say the same thing.                            BRIAN               You just don't want to write your               paper...Right?                            CLAIRE               True, but, you're the smartest,               right?                            BRIAN                    (with pride)               Oh, well...                            CLAIRE               We trust you...     Brian glances over at Allison and Andrew who nod in     approval.                            ANDREW               Yeah...                            BRIAN               All right, I'll do it...                            CLAIRE               Great...     Claire looks at Allison who looks back.                            CLAIRE                    (to Allison)               Come on...                           ALLISON               Where're we going?                            CLAIRE               Come on!     We see Claire putting eye make-up on Allison.                            CLAIRE               Don't be afraid.                           ALLISON               Don't stick that in my eye!                            CLAIRE               I'm not sticking it, just close...               just go like that...     Claire closes her eyes.  Allison mimics her.                            CLAIRE               Good...     Claire puts the make-up on her and Allison squeals.                            CLAIRE               You know you really do look a lot               better without all that black shit               on your eyes...                           ALLISON               Hey...I like that black shit...                            CLAIRE               This looks a lot better...look up.     We see Brian thinking about what he's going to write.     We see Andrew just thinking.     We see Allison and Claire again.  Claire is still     putting make-up on Allison.                           ALLISON               Please, why're you being so nice to               me?                            CLAIRE               'Cause you're letting me.     We see Brian begin to write.     We see Andrew, still deep in thought.                                                  CUT TO: 34. INT. CLOSET - DAY     We see Bender, in the closet once again.  Claire opens     the door and enters.                            BENDER               You lost?     Claire stares at him.     Bender smiles.     Claire smiles.                                                  CUT TO: 35. INT. LIBRARY - DAY     Brian is busily preparing the essay.     Andrew looks up and sees the newly made over Allison     and is in awe.     Allison walks towards him and stops when she notices     Brian staring at her with his mouth open.     She glares at him.                            BRIAN               Cool!                           ALLISON                    (smiling)               Thank you!                                                  CUT TO: 36. INT. CLOSET - DAY     Claire kisses Bender, then she breaks the kiss.                            BENDER               Why'd you do that?                            CLAIRE               'Cause I knew you wouldn't.                            BENDER               You know how you said before, how               your parents used you to get back               at each other...wouldn't I be               outstanding in that capacity?                            CLAIRE               Were you really disgusted about               what I did with my lipstick?                            BENDER               Truth?                            CLAIRE               Truth...     Bender nods and speaks at the same time.                            BENDER               No...                                                  CUT TO: 37. INT. LIBRARY - DAY     We see Brian lift up his paper and kiss it.     We see Andrew and Allison.                            ANDREW               What happened to you?                           ALLISON        Why?  Claire did it!  What's wrong?                            ANDREW               Nothing's wrong, it's just so               different.  I can see your face.                           ALLISON               Is that good or bad?                            ANDREW                    (laughing)               It's good!     Allison smiles.     We see Brian laugh and give himself a congratulatory     punch in the arm.                                                  CUT TO: 38. INT. HALLWAY - DAY     The five are walking down the hall where they are met     by Carl, sweeping up.  Brian nods at him.                             CARL               See ya Brian...                            BRIAN               Hey Carl...                            BENDER                    (to Carl)               See you next Saturday...                             CARL               You bet!                                                  CUT TO: 39. EXT. PARKING LOT - DAY     Brian gets into his dad’s car and leaves.     Andrew and Allison kiss, Allison rips a patch off     Andrew’s jacket and gets into the car.     Andrew's dad arrives and looks at him, then at Allison.    Andrew gets into the car and they drive off.     We see Claire take out one of her diamond earrings     and put it into Benders hand.  They kiss and she gets     into her car.  She leaves.     We see Bender put the earring in his ear.                                                  CUT TO: 40. INT. LIBRARY - DAY     We see Vernon pick up Brian's essay and begin to read.                          BRIAN (VO)               Dear Mr. Vernon, we accept the fact               that we had to sacrifice a whole               Saturday in detention for whatever               it was we did wrong.  But we think               you're crazy to make an essay               telling you who we think we are.               You see us as you want to see us...               In the simplest terms, in the most               convenient definitions.                                                  CUT TO: 41. EXT. FOOTBALL FIELD - DAY     We see Bender walking towards us as Brian's monologue     continues.                          BRIAN (VO)                    (CONT'D)               But what we found out is that each               one of us is a brain...                        ANDREW (VO)               ...and an athlete...                         ALLISON (VO)               ...and a basket case...                         CLAIRE (VO)               ...a princess...                         BENDER (VO)               ...and a criminal...                          BRIAN (VO)               Does that answer your question?               Sincerely yours, the Breakfast Club.     We see Bender walking across the football field     as he thrusts his fist into the air in a silent cheer     and freezes there.                      The Breakfast Club                             Starring...          Andrew Clark.............Emilio Estevez          Richard Vernon...........Paul Gleason          Brian Johnson............Anthony Michael Hall          Carl.....................John Kapelos          John Bender..............Judd Nelson          Claire Standish..........Molly Ringwald          Allison Reynolds.........Ally Sheedy